Forever & Always
by SAWild
Summary: The EPIC sequel to "Absolution." The former SpyFamily continues on right where we left off in 'Absolution.' Starting their lives anew as the Imperial Family of Russia with Irina as the Tsar. Their extraordinary life continues with new challenges. The past is revealed as we learn more about the 'missing 20 years' of Irina's absence as well as moving forward into the future!
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: **_**The sequel to ****Absolution. **

**You can now find the magazine covers and other photos associated with this sequel, and Absolution on a tumblr page created just for these stories. I will update the photos as they appear in the chapters. All Absolution magazine covers and photos have been posted. Remove the spaces from this url: ****alias absolution forever and always .tumblr**

******I look forward to hearing your thoughts as we continue on with this journey! Thank you in advance for taking the time to review :) It is greatly appreciated as this story was such a labor of love! And just a reminder, that I write absolutely everything, down the the tiniest of details with 'purpose' in these stories... so you may want to carefully pay attention along the way as puzzle pieces begin snapping together!- Wild**

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_******Disclaimer: I do not own the ALIAS characters presented in this story.**_

_************__"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." - C.S. Lewis_

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**Music for this chapter**_** (on repeat): I Love You **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All **_**by Allison Krause**_**, Forever and For Always **_**by Shania Twain**_**, Ave Maria remix **_**by Thievery Corporation**_**, On An Evening in Roma **_**by Dean Martin**_**, O Sole Mio **_**by Andrea Bocelli**_**, Nessun Dorma **_**by Sarah Brightman, __****Bless the Broken Road by Rascall Flatts**

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ONE

o

_***I Love You ***_

"Thank God! I thought the night would never end." Irina laughed, quickly removing her heavy robe as Jack closed the bedroom door behind them, just as urgently removing his regalia and uniform jacket.

"I've been dying to get you out of that dress all evening." He smirked, grabbing her arm and whirling her to face him. Their bodies slammed together as did their mouths in a mess of tangled limbs and wet lips with hungry determination.

"Did I tell you how stunning you are?" He asked through labored breaths, pulling back softly to look into her beautiful dark eyes as he took in the gorgeous woman before him.

Irina smiled widely as her eyes took on a primal seductive gaze hearing her husband's words.

"Dance with me?" Her voice was low and smooth as she ran her hand down the back of his neck.

"We just spent the last seven hours dancing. Aren't you tired of dancing yet?" He laughed as his eyes searched her face, already taking her into his arms, her slender fingers wrapping perfectly over his.

"Not with you." She whispered into his ear, her warm breath tickling his senses as he guided her around the darkened room in the moonlight. His strong hand at the small of her back pressing ever so lightly and igniting the fire within her. "I'll never get tired of dancing with my husband."

"Nor will I get tired of dancing with my wife." Jack's deep voice hummed softly against her cheek with a smile, closing his eyes and inhaling her scent. "I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt of this, holding you in my arms again as we danced."

"In spite of what you learned about me?" Irina asked softly, pulling back but not away as they continued to float around the space.

"Yes." Jack's eyes held fast to hers, drowning as always in their dark pools. "My head may have told me to hate you during the daylight hours but my heart controlled my dreams in the night. And all it wanted, was you." He smiled softly, capturing her lips softly with his.

"And all I wanted was you." Irina reciprocated as her fingers on played with his hair, her eyes smiling as she spoke in hushed tones, revealing another bit of truth. "When you first walked into my cell, despite what I saw in your eyes, in spite of what I told myself I felt," She paused, swallowing hard as she closed her eyes and sighed softly, remembering that moment and the ones after in custody and then when she escaped and came to him. "Every time I was close to you," She forged on, opening her eyes and finding his soulful caring ones staring back at her as he held her gently in his arms. "There was too much I couldn't say…and then you'd just walk away…and I always thought…I forgot to tell you, Ilove you. And the night was too long and cold without you. I couldn't find the words," Her eyes bore deeply into his and Jack felt his heart quickening in pace, "To say, I need you so."

"You have me now and I felt the same way. I needed you then and I still need you now." Jack smiled softly, running his thumb over the back of her hand in his, his other pulling her more tightly to his body as he saw the flash of old sadness run through her eyes at the mentioning of it. "I love you. Forever and always, Irina."

"I love you." Irina felt her eyes brimming with unshed tears of happiness and pulled gently on Jack's neck, bringing him closer as her mouth closed over his, her tongue gently seeking entrance and branding it her own with a soft caress of his lower lip.

Jack welcomed the invasion and when Irina's hand left his to wrap itself into his hair, he could not quiet the moan of need that escaped his body aching for her. He needed her, just as she had needed him and the intensity of it was overbearing at times…this moment, was one of them.

Irina's tongue swept softly and eagerly through the warm cavern of Jack's mouth, her tongue dueling lovingly with his, her hands tangling in his hair. His soft mews of anticipation and need fueled her own and she moved her hands to undo the remainder of the gold buttons on his uniform.

"You are so handsome in this uniform." Irina laughed softly against his lips, brushing her nose against his softly as her cool hands collided with Jack's searing skin causing him to gasp.

"And you're absolutely gorgeous…in anything," He smirked, running his hands down her bare arms as their mouths continued to play tag between their words, "But especially, in nothing at all." His arms encircled her as their hips continued to sway together, his hands working quickly to undo the massive amounts of buttons that kept her enclosed within the dress.

She reached up and removed her crown, setting it gently on the side table they were dancing next to and then the clip, releasing the last remnants of her Chestnut waves causing them to spill wildly down her back.

The sight of her was still enough to take his breath away every time he looked at her.

They swayed in silence for a few minutes, just staring at one another with soft smiles. Irina's palms over his bare chest and his fingers brushing lightly against her own scorching skin as he continued releasing her from her dress.

He leaned forward and kissed the flesh above her collarbone and Irina threw her head back, closing her eyes as his lips worshipped her throat and neck.

"Turn around." He whispered into her ear and pushed aside the dress's train as she did what he'd asked. His hands pushed the fabric down as they splayed across her muscular back, exposing every delicious inch to him and then fell to her feet in a big puddle.

He brushed aside her long tresses and his lips found the curve between her elegant diamond-adorned neck and shoulder, marking her satiny skin with his kisses and gently nips of his teeth. His broad hands kneaded into her flesh above her bare hips and slowly made their way up her torso until they reached her naked breasts, aching and erect for his touch.

His palms grazed over the pouting flesh and Irina leaned back against him, her bare back against his chest, his arms trapping her against him. Jack's tongue traced the contours of her ear and his face nuzzled into her hair finding her heated skin once more as his fingers teased her rigid tips, rolling and pinching her into a, frenzy within.

His burgeoning cock pressed painfully against the confines of his pants as her ass ground into him. Her body seemed to heat up under his touch and felt on fire to the tips of his fingers. Irina's core was aching for him to fill her and his firmness pressing against her only teased her into further heights.

She reached her hands around behind her and began undoing his pants as he continued to assault her neck and breasts with his hands and tongue.

The feel of her cool hand on his flaming cock at first contact sent a bolt of electricity straight through him and he nipped her shoulder with his teeth causing her to inhale sharply and squeeze him in her grasp between their bodies. He wiggled his hips causing his shaft to jerk against her palm as he maneuvered his pants down his body and then kicked off his boots and pants until he was as naked as she.

He drew his hand down her body and felt the thrum of excitement building under his touch inside her as her skin quivered beneath his palm. He teased her by lightly grazing her inner thighs with his touch, nearing her crux but never touching and making her mew with unsatisfied need.

In retaliation to the torture, she released his rock hard shaft from her grip where her thumb had been circling his head and arched her body away from him.

The unexpected movement caused his hand to collide with her already wet center and they both gasped in surprise from the mixed sensations that loss and connection created. Finding her already wet was too much of a turn on to tease her any further and he pulled her tightly against him again with his arm, crashing his erectness into her firm ass cheeks as his fingers plunged between her slick folds.

The arm holding her to him rested just below her breasts allowing him to tease her rigid tits at the same time he pressed his fingers against her clit, rubbing in rhythm with his soft thrusts into her from behind driving them both to the brink quickly as their breath became labored and muscles twitched.

Irina felt her body quivering under his touch and knew she was rapidly approaching euphoria though she tried to fend it off, trying to hold out as long as possible. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, her head rolling softly against Jack's shoulder trying to quall the rising storm within even as her legs shook.

He knew instinctively that she was resisting in taking the plunge and encouraged her to stop fighting it.

"Let go, Irina." His fingers pressed harder against her engorged clit and he bit her shoulder again causing her to shudder immediately as her body took over and climaxed in spite of her stubbornness. Jack felt the currents of her body's spasms beneath his palm and his fingers slid easily against her folds with her release, soaking his hand as he continued to tease her.

She clenched her teeth to hold in her appreciative moan and her body became stiff as it rode out the waves of pleasure.

The feel and sound of her orgasm always sent a jolt of excitement through Jack and he couldn't wait any longer to be buried inside her. In a split second he had her turned around, staring into her still exploding eyes flickering with moonlight as he grabbed her hips and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Swiftly, he picked up her lithe form and impaled her onto his rock hard shaft, her slick center sliding easily down his body and stealing her breath as he hit deeply on the first thrust. He stilled momentarily as she wrapped her long muscular legs around his hips and her internal muscles spasm and relaxed against the invading member.

She loved the feeling of him inside her, filling her completely, electrifying her body.

**_*You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing At All*_**

"I'll never get tired of coming home." Jack whispered into the thick air between them, feeling the same way about their joined bodies. "I want you to stay forever in my arms."

Her smile reached her eyes and she pressed herself further into him, her mouth devouring his as hot tongues battled between their mouths in hungry need. He rolled his hips and thrust slowly into her at first and then more quickly as the urgency for release brewed inside him at feeling her muscles contracting around him with perfect timing knowing her need was just as consuming for him, as his was for her.

She'd lost even more weight since the last trip to Kashmir and he had no trouble holding her up as they stood in the middle of the room, moving in-sync with one another towards release.

The ridges of his throbbing cock caressed her sweltering core and flamed her desire as they rubbed rhythmically against her sensitive nerve bundles inside. Their bodies becoming slick with sweat as their hips and abs rolled steadily together in a rampant pace that only increased with every moan of pleasure.

The space between their bodies, non-existent, as they drove each other home; her clit continually stimulated as it pressed roughly against his pubic bone, his fingers pressing against the small of her back as he hammered into her with wild abandon.

His need to claim her, the need to be 'one,' causing him to pound deeper and deeper into her with his possessiveness on the verge of exploding as he felt the tidal wave approaching.

One of his hands left her hips and went across her glistening back as the other arm moved under her ass to hold her up, though her powerful legs and position on top his rock hard cock kept her from sliding down; he now held her more closely, intimately as he struggled to keep his eyes open to look at her while they both approached the edge.

Irina caught his intense gaze and held it as she dug her nails into his shoulders, holding on tightly to her 'Prince Charming' as they rode each other into ecstasy.

The look of love in his eyes for her was radiating directly to her heart and she smiled even as her body shook in the first tremors of her explosion.

"I love you." She whispered looking directly at him in a rapid breath as her body finally ripped apart with passion and she dropped her head into the crook of his neck as her body convulsed and spasm around his and he lost his remaining control.

With his final thrust, his body rocked with built up need spilling out and into her and he clung to her desperately as they continued to roll in time with each other, riding out their waves of love until he could no longer stand with burning thighs and dropped to his knees on the floor.

Irina breathed heavily into his neck, her lips tasting his salty skin as she kissed the hollow of his throat and his arms held her tightly, still quivering from their exertion. His fingers running up and down the length of her pointy spine from her neck to her ass and his smile of contentment flashed with a look of concern in the darkness.

'_She was entirely too thin_.' His mind wondered and he internally berated the bastard-ass Cuvee for what he had done to her. He quickly pushed the thought of the dead-scum away and held her more tightly, kissing the top of her wild mane before resting his cheek against her head.

They stayed that way, holding onto each other and rocking slightly in the cascades of moonlight that fell on that spot on the floor for a few minutes as their breathing calmed and returned to normal.

Their slick, heated flesh quickly turning to goose bumps as it cooled in the air and she involuntarily shivered against him, her erect nipples pressing into his chest and tickling him as he pulled her more closely with a smile.

_***Forever and For Always***_

"You're cold; lets get you under the covers." Jack kissed her temple and attempted to move her off him so they could stand.

"Wait!" Irina spoke rapidly, holding him still and wrapping her legs around him tighter, not wanting to let him go. "You told me, I can stay right here… forever in your arms." She smiled and he laughed kissing her neck repeatedly as he held her more tightly with his arms.

"Yes, I did, you can stay right here…forever and for always." He pulled her face back with his hands, holding her gaze to his as he smiled. "I have no arguments with that at all. I'm just suggesting we move to the bed which is warmer, and softer then this hard, cold, marble floor."

Without waiting for her rebuttal, he launched back up to the standing position, with her little body still wrapped around his waist, their bodies still connected as he walked them over to the bed and flopped down on top of her, causing a deep laugh to escape from her throat.

He rolled them over and over until they were situated and somehow managed to get them under the sheets and blanket, when they were settled, Irina was perched upon him, covering him like a blanket.

His hands gently framing her face as his fingers tangled into her wild loose curls, her smile electrifying in its beauty.

"I love you, too." He smiled and brought her swollen lips to his, sucking softly on her bottom lip before releasing her. "You are simply amazing, Your Majesty." He laughed as his hands skimmed over her bare ass under the covers. "But then again, you are my drug and I'm addicted and therefore, can never get enough of your incredible substance."

"I will say the same for you." She laughed, nipping with her teeth at his jaw-line. "I can't believe you held me up like that for the entire time…that's pretty remarkable Emperor Jack." Her laugh turned into a giggle when his fingers tickled her sides in retaliation. "Gives new meaning to 'upstanding man' often used to describe you."

"Well, it wasn't exactly difficult. You're wasting away to nothing." His tickling stopped to trace the contours of her jutting spinal column and then down her exposed ribs.

"I know." Irina sighed, "I'm trying." Her doe eyes looked into his with a soft smile.

"I know you are." He kissed her lightly with a smile, knowing how hard she had been working to put weight on. "And we'll keep working on it." He smiled warmly and brushed a stray hair behind her ear, his smiling fading as he approached the next subject, knowing she wasn't going to like what he would suggest. "You know, it might help you…to keep some weight on…if you weren't nursing Lena."

"Jack, no." She immediately refused, shaking her head at the idea.

"Irina, just listen to me for a second, ok?" He wrapped his arms around her back, holding her to him, trying to offer her comfort when he saw how immediately, the idea had made her upset. "She's old enough now that she retains the majority of her calories from her solid baby food-"

"Jack, I know that." She cut him off with agitation on the edge of her voice, knowing exactly where her baby's calories were coming from and not liking that she knew, he was right about what he was suggesting.

"I know you know that." He tried to hold back his smile seeing her stubbornness rearing its head, and he cupped her face with one of his hands, forcing her to look at him. "I'm just suggesting-"

"I know what you're suggesting! You want me to stop nursing Lena so that I retain more of my calories but I'm not going to!" Her body was tensing above him and he slid his hand down her back softly, trying to calm her. "I nursed Sydney until she was 9 months old and I plan to do the same with Lena." She said defiantly, leaving little room for argument.

"I know you did, but you also weighed more then. Didn't have a thyroid problem and you didn't have diabetes to worry about." His hand brushed her long hair over her shoulder, and down her back lovingly with understanding eyes.

"Jack, I'm fine." She said quickly before reading the concern in his eyes. "You don't have to worry about me."

"But I do worry about you, My Love. Nothing will ever change that." He kissed her quickly, "May I suggest a compromise then?" He knew her reasons for wanting to continue; it wasn't about physical health but emotional…and the need to bond, not losing that connection just yet after all they'd been through.

"Ok, what is the compromise you're suggesting, Mr. Bristow?" She folded her arms over his chest and perched her chin on top them to gaze at him.

"That you can continuing nursing our baby girl, but only twice a day." He hedged cautiously seeing her eyes go wide he forged on, "In the morning when she first wakes up and then before she sleeps at night. We substitute the rest of the feedings with formula. You'll keep more calories…and you'll still get that time to '_bond_." He smiled catching her flash of surprise that he knew exactly 'why' she didn't want to relinquish that time with their baby. "And," His smile grew adding on another stipulation, "You must eat twice as many calories until you stop nursing. Whether that's by protein shakes, cans of Ensure or lots of cheesecake, I don't care. I just want you to stop wasting away on me. I'm afraid I'm going to break you." This caused her to giggle and shake her head and he swatted her butt, "Well? Do you agree?"

"Yes, Sweetheart. I agree to the terms." She yelped when his hand connected with her flesh and she pinched his nipple hard with her fingers, making him jerk beneath her.

"You Little..." He rolled her over and pinned her down with his weight, dropping his mouth to claim hers. His mouth moved down her neck and over her chest, sliding his body down the bed as he went, kissing every inch of her.

With one last gentle kiss to her abdomen, he looked up and caught her eyes with a smile, straddling her and climbing his way back up her body.

"You've just burned a lot of calories and our ravenous little shark will be hungry in the morning so, I think a double dose of calories is in order now. What will it be? Can of _Ensure_ or cheesecake left over from the reception?"

"_Ensure_?" Irina thought about the high calorie and protein shakes that mostly provided nutrients to the elderly and those needing more substance then they were able to eat. "Jeez, Jack, that makes me feel really old." She rolled her eyes and he laughed, and kissed the underside of her jaw. "I'll take the cheesecake."

"Excellent choice!" He drew his tongue along her lower lip, before kissing her soundly and pushing off the bed.

"I'll be right back." He had just finished tying his robe and headed for the door when Irina's mischievous nature brought forth a decadent idea…

"Sweetheart," She called out to him forcing Jack to turn and face her; naked and tangled in their bed sheets, illuminated by the moonlight, "Don't forget the whip cream." Her seductive eyes left little doubt what she had in mind for that and Jack laughed, shaking his head as he opened the door and stepped out into the darkened hallway.

"Ok that was…just…_weird_." Weiss pressed his back against the closed bedroom door, smile slowly spreading across his face as the champagne glasses clinked together in his hand.

"What?" Sophia asked, sitting upright in bed, her tousled hair falling around her shoulders as she pulled the sheet up around her with a curious smile.

"When I got to the kitchen, Jack was just leaving…with cheesecake and a can of whip cream." He laughed as his cheeks burned bright red.

"He's bringing Irina something to eat, I'm sure. She needs sugar remember? Cheesecake will satisfy her needs." Sophia smirked, playing with her lovers intrigue.

"True. But then why not just squirt some whip cream on the top? Why bring the whole can if it's 'just to feed her sugar needs?'" He laughed and walked towards the bed, handing her the flutes as he uncorked the bottle, his mind already running rampant.

Sophia laughed Derevko deviant like, her smoldering gaze piercing Weiss's in the darkness.

"I said the cheesecake was to satisfy Irina's 'sugar' needs…the whip cream is obviously to satisfy Jack's."

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_Rome, Italy_

"Jack, stop drooling on my magazine. It's the only copy I have of that one." Katya teased from the kitchen where she was holding Lena in the crook of her elbow and shaking her bottle of formula in the other. The baby was smiling and fascinated with her aunts dangling earrings for the moment.

"I'll get you another." Jack smirked, setting the copy of _TIME_ with his beautiful wife adorning the cover down on the coffee table and Marcello laughed from his seat next to Jack in the armchair.

"He's in love with his beautiful wife, Mi Amore, you can't blame a man for that." Marcello sipped on his glass of wine, chuckling as he read the article in the other _TIME_ featuring his mother-in-law, Anastasia.

"Owe, damnit!" Katya cursed under her breath in several languages grabbing her ear where Lena had just ripped her earring out.

"I warned you to remove those," Irina laughed entering the kitchen and taking her startled baby from her sisters' arms, "She likes shiny things."

"Like a monkey with the grip of a gorilla!" Katya felt her ripped ear.

Irina kissed her baby's cheeks and neck seeing the startled look in her eyes and quivering lip, on the verge of tears.

"It's ok, baby." She pried the offending object from her chubby little fists and handed it back to Katya. "Now you're going to make her cry." Irina teased her little sister.

"I'm sorry, Sweet Girl, you've just got a powerful grip!" Katya kissed her niece's chubby little fists and handed her a set of plastic teething keys instead. "Rina, you better get moving. Weren't you supposed to meet with him over an hour ago?" Katya ran her hand over the back of Lena's silky little head as the baby gurgled and chewed on her teething toy.

"He'll wait. He was late last time, so now its his turn to wait. I like to keep them on their toes anyway." Irina smirked, kissing her baby while Katya snagged a tissue to stem the blood flow from her slightly torn ear lobe.

"Multi-tasking again, Irina?" Marcello asked with a saucy grin setting his magazine down as she approached him.

"Yes, actually. I'm taking care of Imperial business as well as checking in on my investments while on this Tour." She smiled passing the baby off to Marcello who happily took the bubbly little baby into his arms. "Today and tomorrow, I'm taking care of Imperial business…tonight I have business with one of my managers." She dropped a quick kiss to Lena's head and then her cheek as the baby bounced on her little legs in Marcello's lap, smiling madly at her Mama and drooling.

"I thought Julian was taking over the managing of your clubs?" He asked bouncing the baby and making big eyes at her.

"He is, but I want to check in with my managers one last time to inform them of the change and make certain…they know my son is in charge from now on but if trouble should arise," Her icy tone was only alleviated by the smile in her eyes, "I won't be far behind."

"Ooh, the _Protective Mama_." Marcello laughed, "Don't mess with Mama's Boy, huh?"

"Julian can take care of himself." She reached for Jack's hand, pulling him from his seat on the couch with a smile when she saw him taking in her sexy black dress, "But if they find themselves trying to coerce my son over to the dark side of this business again; they will answer to me." Irina stated firmly, turning to face Marcello. "He's perfectly legitimate now and I want him to stay that way."

"Gotchya." Marcello nodded in understanding with a smile and Lena gurgled and bounced.

"Thanks again for watching her." Irina kissed her baby once more and Jack followed suit, kissing his baby repeatedly in the crease of her neck making her squirm and giggle.

"It's our pleasure, Rina." Marcello smiled at the smiling baby, "We love it."

"It she gets fussy there is Baby Oragel in her diaper bag to numb her gums and Baby Motrin if she starts running a temp. I just gave her some an hour ago, so she should be fine for the next few hours." Irina inspected her baby girl with her eyes for a minute; smiling when she saw the ravenous attack Lena was giving the colorful keys.

"I remember when the twins were teething," Katya rolled her eyes and sipped her wine as she held the bloody tissue to her ear, "That was hell. She's rather calm about the whole thing though." She smiled at Lena who continued to bounce. "It's not fair you're the wild tyrant and get the angelic baby while I was the angel child and ended up with the tyrant babies!" She smiled and everyone laughed at the irony.

"Angel child?" Irina repeated and laughed, shaking her head. "I don't think you were any better then I in the 'tyrant' department, dear sister!"

"Well perhaps not," Katya shrugged and everyone laughed again, "Now get going you two! And if you happen to run into my children at the club, remind them we are having lunch with a photo session tomorrow in the Plazza so don't be 'too partied out."

What she really meant was, '_don't you dare be hung over!_'

Rome happened to be the first stop after Moscow of the Imperial Family's World Tour and the kids, Sydney, Vaughn, Julian, and Sophia were all staying at Sergei's place while on this leg of the tour. Irina, Jack and Lena were staying with Katya and Marcello in their lavish home.

Irina kissed her sister's cheek, as did Jack on their way out the door.

_***Ave Maria- remix***_

Irina cut through the raging crowd of people with Jack on her heels after 'speaking' with her employee about the new arrangements. He was dressed to kill in his own rite wearing a black dress shirt and slacks, Irina having unbuttoned two more buttons exposing his chest in the limo on the way over.

'_The Man_' like way she handled herself in the office had Jack screaming with desire and upon seeing a darkened corner of the club pulled his wife's arm towards it.

"Jack…" She barely had time to state her surprise when he crashed her back against the wall in the small, darkened hallway that flashed with different colors of light from the dance floor.

Other couples were spread sporadically down its length, making out and touching, far too involved with each other to care about anyone else around them.

"I want you now." His voice commanded over the loud music, eyes boring into hers already matching his swimming desire as their bodies pressed together. He forcefully grabbed her right thigh and pulled it over his hip, as her hands worked quickly to unzip his pants and set free his throbbing cock. Her bunched black dress and closeness of their bodies covered any exposed flesh.

He slid his hand under her dress and brushed aside her thong to find her lips already wet with desire, pinching her clit roughly she bucked against him as their mouths collided again and again.

His free hand tangling into her wild mane as her nails racked over him through his shirt. With the tip of his cock exposed and posed at her entrance, the need for quick release was imminent in their setting and he covered her mouth with his to swallow the scream as he thrust up into her.

With his pants still up, and her skirt covering their connected forms, it looked as though the two were engaged in heavy petting and dry fucking, nothing more to the naked eye.

His hips worked in swiftly, shallow, fluid motions and rapidly brought both to climax with the excitement of their surroundings and so exposed to the public.

"Cum for me, Love." Jack whispered into her ear as he bit her lobe and slammed into her again, holding her leg above his hip.

The erotic encounter sent Irina's body into overdrive and she began to tremble as the first waves of her climax crashed through her body.

Only a second of her scream was released into the loud music filled space before Jack's mouth claimed its victory, swallowing the rest with manly pride as he exploded inside her moments later.

Her dark eyes flickering dangerously with intrigue as he slipped out of her casually and she put 'Panama Jack' away and slowly slid her thigh down his leg until her heel was touching the ground.

His body still pressing hers into the wall as their breath still came in rapid bursts.

"Mom? Dad?" Sydney stopped mere feet away from her parents with Vaughn beside her, both on their way to the restroom to get some action of their own on and now transfixed on the sight of her parents before her. She closed her eyes, squinting and then opening again to see if she was hallucinating or really seeing her father pressing her mother into the dark corner. Hoping to God, it was just the liquor coursing through her veins. By the time she's opened them again, Jack had taken a step back and threaded his fingers with Irina's.

Vaughn was chewing on his lip to keep from laughing, knowing they had obviously just 'missed' some heavy action on the part of the 'Spyrents' with both of their flushed appearances, her wild hair, and Jack's shirt tucked haphazardly into his pants.

"What are you doing here?" Sydney blinked hard and swayed under the effects of the alcohol and the constant dimming and flashing of the clubs lights.

"Taking care of business, Sweetheart." Irina smiled, kissing Sydney's temple, as she and Jack breezed by and winking at Vaughn, whom she knew, knew exactly what had transpired in that dark seedy hallway. "I'll see you in the morning." She kissed Vaughn's cheek, "And have fun."

Vaughn broke into a huge blushing grin, knowing his future mother-in-law knew exactly what he and Sydney were intending to do in that dark hallway as well.

"What is it with us that we keep getting busted by our own daughter?" Jack hissed into Irina's ear as she drug him through the crowd towards the Exit, smiling and laughing with sedation.

"Payback for all the torturous years we missed in her teenage rebellion?" Irina laughed and shrugged as they dipped into the waiting limo. "Although, I think its working both ways…the payback I mean. As we seem to keep catching her on the verge of or after the act as well."

"Oh God!" Jack sighed and leaned back, covering his eyes with his hand as Irina laughed.

_***On An Evening in Roma***_

"Well, what did you think they were going to do in that dark hallway Jack?"

"Well, I wasn't thinking about it at all until you just brought it up! Thanks!" He grumbled and eventually laughed.

"They're young and in-love, Jack." Irina hit the button, raising the separating glass before straddling her husband.

"Well, what's our excuse then?" His hands settled on her hips and then moved down to push up the black fabric covering her thighs with a devious smile.

"What are you saying, Mr. Bristow? Are you calling me old?" She asked with a dangerous gleam of her own as she unbuttoned his pants once more.

"Most certainly not, my Queen." He smiled lifting his hips with Irina on his lap so she could pull down his pants to expose him fully while he poured them glasses of vodka from the mini-bar. "Your ass-perations," He handed her a glass and used his free hand to squeeze her butt cheek, "Are admirable at any age. In fact…you take years off me every time I'm with you." He cocked his eyebrow at her and his gaze went to his rock hard cock, lying against his stomach and already recovered and eagerly awaiting another round of lovemaking with his wife.

"You're rock solid-" Irina gripped his shaft with her free hand and a seductive smile, "Recovery is what's admirable, Sweetheart…or should I call you Casanova?" She winked and downed her glass of vodka in one gulp, tossing the glass behind her and letting it shatter against the separation glass.

The rawness of her acts and look in her eyes stoked Jack's inferno of desire and he slid the straps off her shoulders, exposing her bountiful breasts to his direct line of sight.

"God, you're beautiful." He licked his lips gazing at her form on top of him. He pulled her face to his lips with one hand while she caressed his cock in her palm, spreading his liquid anticipation around and igniting another spark of lust.

Irina pushed herself up on her knees, straddling him and pushed her thong to the side, aligned herself with his shaft and dropped onto it quickly, laughing when she took his breath away this time in surprise.

"No more foreplay, huh?" Jack laughed as she settled on top of him.

"We've been in foreplay since I saw you eyeing my legs in that meeting." She began moving against him, clenching her muscles against his burgeoning cock as she pulled off him and them slammed back into him, taking both their breath away. "My fire is burning and it needs to be stoked." She bit her lip and rocked her hips back, forcing his cock to rub against her G-spot in just the right way as Jack laughed, lying back against the seat and folding his arms behind his head, thoroughly enjoying watching her pleasure her self with his body.

His hips jerked upwards when she moved one of her hands to touch and excite her own nipples and then the other to her clit.

"Oh God," His knuckles turned white, wanting to reach out and grab her, ramming her onto his shaft as deeply as possible. "You're driving me insane here."

"I never said you couldn't touch me. Why are you… holding back anyway?" She opened her heavy eyelids just enough to look at him quizzically while she leaned forward, arching her full breasts towards his face.

"Because watching you," He moaned when she drew her wet fingers from her folds to her mouth and sucked lightly, tasting her own scent, "Is a beautiful thing."

Her hand left her nipples and went to her core once more, sliding easily in her juices as she rocked atop her husband and with a naughty gleam in her eye, brought her soaked fingers to his lips, painting them with her essence, allowing him a taste and earning her a shudder and groan.

His arms unlocked from behind his head as he sucked her fingers into his mouth, lapping at her juices, and went to her hips, thrusting up into her with eagerness while she thrust down. His hand moved down to her clit and pressed madly making Irina throw her head back as he pushed her towards the edge.

His mouth closed over her erect nipple and his body burned as he worked to bring her to the brink as quickly as he knew he was going to fall.

His knuckles brushed against the flat skin of her lower abdomen and he felt the tip of his cock inside her against his hand, feeling himself moving inside her always electrified him and he grunted loudly, burying his face in her breasts as he clenched his teeth and shattered inside her,

"_Oh fuck!_" He spilled into her and continued to pump furiously as she fell just after him, her body rocking with fever as they rode out their ecstasy. "God damn, I love you!" He breathed heavily nuzzling her breasts as she wrapped her arms around his head, holding him their while they came down from their high.

* * *

_***O Sole Mio***_

"I have to tell you, you look absolutely stunning in that dress Empress." Weiss smiled genuinely at Irina as they walked up the steps to their box at the Opera the following night. He'd flown in from Los Angeles to escort Sophia as it was too be attended by the entire Imperial Family as special guests of Italy. Andrea Boccelli and Sarah Brightman, were two of tonight's performers.

"I picked it out for her." Sophia smiled boldly eyeing the pink satin fabric covering Irina's sculpted body like saran wrap with very dangerous slits on both legs. "You do look amazing Aunt Rina."

"Thank you." Irina smiled her thanks as Jack guided her into her seat and she saw Sydney and Vaughn nodding in agreement with the others.

"Fits like a glove." Katya raised her eyebrows suggestively and laughed softly, adjusting Lena on her lap and seeing the seductive heat already smoldering in the looks between Jack and Irina.

"One I can't wait to remove." Jack whispered into her ear so that only she could hear and it sent a jolt of electricity surging through her.

The lights dimmed and the opera began. It was a compilation of the greatest love scenes and songs from multiple famous operas and the romantic overtures only added fuel to the burning fires as the night went on.

_***Nessun Dorma***_

Irina's fingers gingerly slid along the length of Jack's inner thigh, caressing him through his black tuxedo pants and making him very uncomfortable as he hardened beneath her touch.

Her eyes never leaving the stage as her hand worked soundlessly and he quickly grabbed her fingers, squeezing them and pulling on her hand. Swiftly he stood and without word or explanation, the two quickly retreated to the darkened hallway behind the box.

The rest of the group were too enthralled in the performance to notice the exit and only Katya broke into a wicked grin as she watched her sister's rapid exit. Lena was asleep in her arms and she kissed the baby's head, chuckling at the child's parents, having it 'pegged' the minute Irina emerged from her room wearing that dress…she knew they wouldn't make it through the entire performance.

Jack's mouth crashed against Irina's in a frenzied kiss as he pushed her against the marble colonnade. "It took you long enough."

She smiled beneath his kiss, having been eagerly awaiting this for the last half hour. His strong hands gripped her through her satiny dress and before he realized what was happening, she had already freed his engorged cock and it was brushing against her soft, slick flesh.

"God, I need you…" He breathed rapidly between kisses as he thrust into her, taking her breath and claiming her body.

The mixture of heated flesh against the cold stone of the cylinder colonnade sent shivers through her body as she clutched him tightly inside her.

He pumped furiously and knew it wouldn't be long, as she had been teasing him for far too long already. Her lips sought out his ear and when she bit softly against the soft flesh below it, his ass clenched and he jerked forward, thrusting powerfully into her and erupting from within.

Irina in time, swallowed his moan of sedation and Jack's tongue thrust into her warm heat in time with his cock, still surging inside her, bringing her to her own peek and then catching her as she fell.

They climaxed at the same moment the song did by some chance of fate and when they were finished, checked each other once over and smiled.

"I love you." She kissed him tenderly, looking into the man's eyes who still took her breath away and whose presence she craved.

"As I you, My Love." He kissed her softly in return before they returned to their seats.

Irina glanced over at the others to see if they noticed their absence and only Katya, who was raised her eyebrows suggestively with a smile, seemed to know anything had happened. Irina just returned the smile, and threaded her fingers with Jack's as they watched the remainder of the performance.

"Aren't you two wearing each other out yet?" Katya asked when they stepped into the bathroom after the performance and before the reception.

"Hardly, Dear Sister. In fact, it seems to be working in reverse." Irina smiled at her through the reflection in the mirror as he finished applying her lipstick, "The more we're together, the more we crave each other. I wasn't lying when I told you our marriage before was, '_hot_."

"And you have twenty years of lost time to make up for." Katya smiled widely, laughing as she handed Irina her handbag.

"Exactly." Irina smiled her famous Cheshire cat grin and kissed her sister's cheek as they went to re-join the crowd.

When they reached their table, the others were talking with Sarah about her performances and Jack got a wicked grin as Irina sat down beside him.

"I was just telling Ms. Brightman how much we enjoyed her performance My Love, wouldn't you agree?" He cocked his head staring his gorgeous wife, the image of her climaxing along with the songs', forever ingrained into his mind.

"Oh yes, very _climactic_…I'll never forget it." Irina said casually, eyeing Jack as she took a sip of her champagne and Katya nearly spit hers out with an eruption of laughter causing the other's to look at her, knowing they obviously missed something.

"So where are all of you off to next, your Majesty?" Sarah asked addressing Irina, thoroughly intrigued by what she was missing but moved the conversation along seeing someone needed to.

"France." Jack smiled warmly at Irina, before turning his eyes to the woman asking the question.

* * *

Their whirl-wind tour took them all across Europe and the United Kingdom over the next two weeks before they finally landed on US soil in New York, for that portion of the Tour. She was scheduled to appear on the Today Show that morning.

Jack held Lena off to the side of the camera, smiling madly at his wife as she elegantly enchanted everyone in the studio that morning with her smile and charm as she answered the interview questions with her charismatic attitude.

"God, I hate her!" Carrie mumbled under her breath, earning several looks while staring at the television screen in the Ops center as they all watched the interview. "Not _really_ hate her! But God, does she always have to look so damn perfect? So beautiful? Does she ever have a bad hair day or something?"

"Not that I can remember." Weiss laughed, thinking back to all the times he'd seen Irina, "I mean even on her bad days…like when she was covered in the troll Sloane's blood she looked…_erotically_ beautiful in some twisted way."

The thought sent shivers down his spine and Dixon nodded in agreement, disturbing as it was.

"See what I mean? It's just not fair!" Carrie shook her head then smiled when the other's laughed.

Matt Lauer was interviewing her and it was quite clear he was smitten with the Empress as was anyone else who she encountered and he even brought out her brilliant smile and laugh when he brought up her 'smoldering love affair with her husband' and used the Russian magazine that featured Jack and Irina 'caught' sneaking off at the American Embassy in Austria.

"Ooh, busted!" Weiss laughed and Kendall rolled his eyes, all of them thinking back to the day they'd been 'caught' doing something far more revealing in that cell. "Can you imagine if they had stills from that video? Not that anyone will _ever_ see anything like that." Weiss quickly amended himself seeing the smoke literally coming out of Kendall's ears.

"Has it always been this 'hot?' This intense for the both of you, Empress? Or is this a recent development after the two of you reunited? Like falling in love all over again?" Matt asked with a smile blushing as Irina laughed softly looking from the magazine in his hand to Jack off stage.

_***Bless the Broken Road***_

"You don't have to answer if I've offended you in anyway or stepped over the line, your Majesty…" He suddenly spoke, feeling as though he might have crossed the line, realizing that this modern beautiful woman before him was the Imperial Tsar of Russia and not some other celebrity.

"No, its ok. I'm not offended…I could never be offended by someone asking me about my love for my husband." She smiled brightly at Jack, bouncing Lena on his arm and then to Sydney whose smile lit her face hearing her mother announce to the world how much she loved her father.

"Jack and I have always had this kind of relationship… very attracted to each other, very much in love with one another. My family…my husband, my daughters and my son, my sister and her family…our friends, are the most important aspect of my life." She answered truthfully, her eyes never leaving Jack's as she answered and everyone smiled seeing the obvious electricity first hand. "Our road to finding each other again was definitely broken, but the intensity of our love throughout the journey never waivered…we just channeled it into other emotions."

"Like hate…" Matt interjected softly and Irina nodded.

"Yes…it was the only emotion that matched the intensity of our love…and when we weren't allowed…or rather, refused to allow ourselves to feel that love again for fear of being hurt, we channeled that love into hate…its how we survived without each other for two decades." She said softly, still staring at his adoring eyes, "Jack and I were like magnets. We were pushing against each other when we were trying desperately to fight our feelings for one another…but we could no longer fight it…and when we stopped trying, flipped over…" She clasped her hands together tightly smiling thinking about Panama.

"Oh…there it is! She's thinking about Panama!" Weiss laughed pointing to Irina's face, recognizing the look in her eye now in reference to that night.

"There was nothing that could tear you apart." Matt smiled, finishing for her.

"Yes." Irina smiled brightly and everyone who was holding out on falling in love with the Empress of Russia, crumbled with her smile. "Even if later, we tried to deny it…we realized we'd never be able to severe that connection… even if we flipped over…"

"And started to feel hate again."

Irina nodded, "We'd eventually flip back over again…and we did."

"You found your love again…which from what I've read in the released excerpts from your book coming out on Wednesday…Your youngest daughter, and let me just say how beautiful she is," He smiled broadly pointing to the picture of Lena on the magazine and then to her off screen, forcing the camera to turn and focus on Jack holding Lena, "Is the result of that 'flip' if that's what we can call it." He smiled boldly, laughing when Irina did and the camera returned its focus on her.

"Yes, she is." Irina's smiling eyes focused on her baby currently gurgling and bouncing in her father's arms.

"The whole story seems entirely fascinating and I for one, am thoroughly looking forward to reading your book, _Truth Takes Time_ and what a 'truth' it was." he smiled.

Her book, co-written in rapid time by Irina and Sydney with excerpts added by Jack, and Katya.

It chronicled their life, first hand accounts and the events leading to the present including journal entries. Both had been writing as a release, a way of letting 'go' and eventually, Irina decided to have it published, answering in the book, the questions the public was always asking, and answering those questions they were afraid to ask.

She was taking a brave stance by revealing what she had in detail and the enormity of what she revealed, was breathtaking to anyone who read it. She used her humor and stunning wit to charm and enchant her readers and her heart breaking reveals brought tears to many eyes as well as thunderous out-loud cheering when she detailed 'ass-kickings' on bad guys.

"I also hear, that there is a movie, currently wrapping production, based on an adaptation screenplay of your book about your life story and…" He emphasized the word, sitting forward eagerly, "And that you've been approached by a producer who wants to make your life story, and that of your family, into a Spy Series on television, is that true? There! There's a picture from behind the scenes of the film with the Assistant Director, your daughter the Grand Duchess Sydney and actor Ben Affleck playing her fiancé Michael Vaughn in the film based on your life. She's very beautiful. Oh and look at the next one!" He laughed out loud, "She's really looking lethal there!"

"Thank you. Yes, that's true. My daughter was on set a few days, showing them 'how it was done," Irina laughed, pushing her hair behind her ear, "J.J Abrams, the director of the film, _Absolution_, approached us with the idea and the pilot of the series titled, _ALIAS_ for now, will be shown this fall on ABC. It will mainly be centered around my daughter, Sydney's life, as the daughter of spies and one herself."

"Do you think they'll base a character out of me in the series like they did in the film?" Marshall's eyes lit up excitedly, "Who do you think should play me?"

"I don't know but I think Terry O'Quinn from _LOST_ should play Kendall." Weiss snickered under his breath to Dixon and gestured behind Kendall's back to his bald-head.

"If you're making reference to the fact that we're both balding and 'that's' the reason he should portray me, Agent Weiss, I'm sure you could take his place on that island and become LOST for real." Kendall countered back catching Weiss's surprised face and then smiled, teasing him.

"I'm sure the show will be a huge success." Matt turned his attention to Sydney who was blushing now that her photo was blazing across the screen behind her mother and Matt. "The Grand Duchess Sydney seems to be a remarkable human being."

"You have no idea." Irina beamed proudly as any mother would. "She is the most remarkable human being I've ever had the privilege of knowing."

"That says a lot being as how you are close relations with many of the world's extraordinary people." Matt smiled softly. "The group Hoobastank, recently recorded a song written by you, for your daughter isn't that right? And another is currently being recorded by the famous Celine Dion for the film's soundtrack?"

"Yes, that is correct, though I never wrote them with the intention of having them ever read for one thing…by my daughter and husband," She looked over to them and smiled shyly, "And two, they were poems that my editor, showed J.J. while we were finishing with the book and 'he' then jumped at the idea to make them into songs for the film. I haven't heard either of them yet."

"Why not?" Matt's brows furrowed curiously.

"I told him I wanted to be surprised. I can't explain it, they are my words; written for my daughter and for my husband and I've heard them in my mind for a long time. To hear them sung by someone else…is an altogether different experience I think. The words carry such an important significance to me, to my life. They are my life, my truth. Both were written at extremely painful periods in my life." She smiled sadly, nervously brushing her hair behind her ear and Sydney felt tears brimming in her eyes thinking about her mother's words and when she had written them.

"But you're excited to hear them?" Matt smiled, asking cautiously and earning him a smile.

"Her letter to Sydney was amazing. I can't wait to hear that song and the letter to Jack." Weiss raised his eyebrows with a smile, "He wouldn't share that with us in Rio so I'm VERY interested in hearing that song!"

"Of course. My life is laced with music; its such an enormous part of my life and I often say, that there are many songs that make up the soundtrack of my life." She smiled honestly at Matt, "You know what I am talking about, like when you are walking down the grocery aisle and hear a song and you're suddenly taken back to a specific moment, time in your life? That song became an anthem for that time period."

"Yeah, definitely, though I've never thought about it quite like that before, '_soundtrack of my life_." Matt laughed and shifted in his seat, staring at the beautiful woman before him, then shook his head, "Imagining you, the Empress of Russia pushing a cart down the grocery aisle is rather humorous though."

"Why?" Irina arched her eyebrow, challenging him. "My family needs to eat like everyone else's."

"I don't know of any other ruling Queens who scoot down the aisle at _Ralph's_ and pick up Spagettio's, Empress." Matt laughed enchanted by her. "I mean you're a Romanov, the most prestigious royal family in the world. Isn't doing the weekly grocery shopping a mundane thing for you?"

"Growing up, my mother may have been Anastasia Romanov and yes, we grew up 'different' because of that, but not 'special' or separated from the other classes of society. We lived among the people and as part of the people; we shopped and lived like the people." Her smile took on a hint of sadness, "And as part of the people growing up under Soviet rule, we were often starving, surviving only on bread, water and the occasional Ox tail soup. So to answer your question, No, I don't think shopping for groceries is mundane or boring. It's a gift and one I enjoy immensely."

"Well, that certainly wasn't the answer he was expecting." Kendall sobered, shifting his weight uncomfortably on his heels remembering very vividly images coming out of the Soviet Union of the long food lines and families digging through trash; the thought of Irina amongst them, very disturbing now.

"That wasn't the answer I was expecting either." Dixon admitted, continuously amazed by the information he was learning on Irina.

"You're an extraordinary person, Empress, and it's easy to see why the world has fallen in love with you and your family." Matt smiled sheepishly, suddenly feeling very differently about 'going grocery' shopping. "Thank you for spending part of your morning with us."

"Director Kendall," Agent Crane approached the group from behind, smiling quickly at catching a glimpse of Irina on the television before returning her attention back to the problem. "We have a problem. Someone sold photos of a very pregnant Empress Irina in our custody being transported to Langley after arriving from the carrier."

She handed him a copy of the Russian _problematic_ magazine.

"What? _Sonofabitch!_" Kendall cursed taking the offending magazine and staring at the photos of Irina cuffed, very pregnant and escorted by armed Marshalls. "Well, isn't this fantastic! Now we all look like a bunch of mean jackasses picking on the world's current '_darling_! Never mind the fact this photo is completely misleading in that she could kill everyone of those armed men with her bare hands even though she's pregnant and wounded!" He rambled waving the magazine around.

"I don't know. I think she looks hot and badass! Especially with the cuffs and her very pregnant bod!" Weiss smiled, taking the magazine from him and smiling, "Jack's going to flip shit though when he sees this." He shook his head with a knowing smile, and then laughed, "Oh man, look at that! One of his least favorite people also on the same cover, Dubey! He's really going to be in a good mood when he sees this!" He pointed to the picture of Dubey.

"Who's Dubey?" Carrie asked innocently not having met the man and taking a second glance at the photo, "Wait…isn't that Vijay Dubey international arms dealer?"

"Yes." Weiss's eyes went wide as he nodded, trying not to smile, "And Irina's former '_hawt_' lover who looks like The Hulk…and the reason Jack flipped out in Jakarta and she gave his ring back, refusing to marry him."

"Irina with another man...not something I really thought about until now. Though it makes sense I guess. Twenty year separation and all…" Carrie furrowed her eyebrows thinking, having only envisioned Irina with Jack an vice versa.

"Well, that was more then I needed to know." Kendall's eyes went wide staring at the photo and shook his head, realizing how much everyone in Jakarta had glazed over the details of what happened between Jack and Irina and Dubey's involvement.

"And it certainly explains the tension you could cut with a knife in the desert when we met up with him in Libya." Dixon realized, "And Jack's obvious possessiveness of Irina with the guy."

"He is pretty gorgeous." Carrie shrugged looking at Dubey's photo and another female CIA agent agreed while Marshall's brows creased. "I'm sure they were a 'hot' couple."

"You should have seen Irina and Dubey throwing each other around and beating the crap out of each other. Vaughn and I were left in stunned awe watching the interaction. Talk about liking it 'rough!" Weiss kept babbling excitedly like a schoolgirl spreading rumors.

"Well whatever the hell you do, don't talk about that around Jack for Christ-sake!" Kendall, ripped the magazine away from Carrie, "Talking about his wife's torrent love affair with hulky tyrant isn't likely to do him any favors."

"We're not insane, Kendall. I don't have a death wish!" Weiss informed him, "And it wasn't a 'love affair' from what we heard. Just plain and simple 'wild kingdom sex' was the foundation of their relationship. He wanted more, she wouldn't give and that was that."

"Well thank you, Agent Weiss! Now I really have more information then I needed to know!" Kendall huffed exasperated trying to clear his head of the mental images of Irina and '_wild kingdom sex_.'

"I'm just saying," Weiss proclaimed, exasperated on his own, "That she loved Jack, always loved Jack and 'that' is why it was sex and only sex, not love with The Hulk."

"I think that's sweet." Carrie smiled.

"As do I!" Weiss smiled at her and then glared at Kendall. "And then there's you…trying to make it dirty when its not!"

"I...I…oh, never mind!" Kendall threw his hands up in the air, after failing at his attempt to explain himself and walked to his office, magazine in hand to do damage control.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): PM's Love Theme by Craig Armstrong from Love Actually Soundtrack, The Reason **_**by Hoobastank**_**, My Hero**_** by Foo Fighters****,**_****__Manniskors Gladje _******by Lena Olin**_********__, It's Raining Men_****** by The Weather Girls********,**_********__ Girl on Fire _******by Alicia Keys**_********__._

* * *

TWO

o

Chicago, Illinois~

"I am so excited for today's show, that I haven't slept in _two days!"_ Oprah smiled brightly, exaggerating her emphasis on her sleepless nights and the sound stage erupted in cheers of anticipation, having no idea who was on the show. "This may be the first, very big surprise reveal we've ever pulled off on this show! Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to introduce my guest on today's special _two hour_ show…"

**_PM's Love Theme_**

The music cued, _The Theme of the new Tsar_, _Irina's Coronation Theme_ and the crowds eyes went wide as they held their breath, unbelieving, as they looked and listened intently.

"_Her Imperial Highness the Tsarina of all Russias, Empress Irina Nicholaevna Alexandra Dmitrievna Romanova Bristowva!_" Oprah spit out rapidly and the crowd went nuts jumping out of their seats as Irina emerged from behind the white wall, smiling and waving to the guests and then embraced Oprah who had tears in her eyes.

"I'm crying! I can't believe it!" Oprah dotted her eyes as she whooped excitedly along with her guests who were also crying happy tears. "This is unbelievable…"

"They're going ballistic!" Sydney giggled in shock as she watched the teleprompter with the rest of her family in the green room.

"_We've_ _got her!" _Oprah called out again excitedly as Irina stood beside her nodding politely to everyone with a smile before Oprah motioned for her to take a seat on the big leather couch while the people remained going nuts at being so close to her. Most having only read about her and seen her Coronation on television, Oprah included.

After five minutes of non-stop screaming and Irina laughing with Oprah at the excited crowd she finally shushed them.

"Ok, ok, everyone! Calm down or we won't hear anything she has to say." Oprah smiled, clasping her hand over Irina's. "And we all want to hear what the Empress has to say-" She couldn't finish the sentence before they all went nuts again and Irina laughed.

"Thank you." Irina felt truly humbled at witnessing this intense outpouring of love from the American people for the first time; her own people were one thing; this was entirely different. "This was certainly unexpected but very appreciated." She spoke softly.

"Because you used to be _Number Six_ on our FBI and CIA's _Most Wanted List_ for espionage?" Oprah smiled and laughed as the people finally began sitting but still glowing with enthusiasm. "You were originally sent to this country during the Cold War; as a spy for the KGB. Sent to marry your husband and steal secrets from him, but you fell in love with him instead."

"Yes." Irina nodded and then laughed softly when the crowd did, finding her ease and already having them eating out of her hand. "It's quite a big change."

"I'm sure. Thank you so much for being here today, I've honestly never been more excited or nervous for a guest interview in all my life." Oprah laughed, grabbing her hand again making big gestures with her eyes as everyone else laughed. "I've stayed up the past two nights reading your book, _Truth Takes Time_, from cover to cover non-stop and just finished this morning. _Wow_… I've never been on such an emotional rollercoaster in all my life. It's hard to believe it's your actual life story. A love story and action thriller, drama and suspense, already on the _New York Times Best Seller List_ in its first week of release."

"It is doing well, I can't believe how interested people are with my life. It's still very surreal."

"The world is enamored with you, Empress." Oprah smiled, looking back at the images of the Romanovs and Irina and her family flashed by on the screens behind them. "Not since Princess Diana have the people taken to a royal like they've to you. She was the _People's Princess_ and you are the _People's Tsar_." She laughed and then took note of Irina's outfit. "You look fantastic! I mean we all knew you were gorgeous but in reality you are truly stunning! No way in the world I could get away with wearing what you have on." Many women in the audience smiled at each other and agreed with Oprah, marveling at the Empress.

"Thank you." Irina smiled, feeling strangely awkward by her beauty for the first time.

"According to a recent poll by _ELLE_ magazine, you are the _World's Most Beautiful Woman_." Oprah smiled and pulled out the magazine with Irina gracing the cover."Isn't she gorgeous? By the way you all receive a copy compliments of _ELLE_ magazine as well as the Empress's book, _Truth Takes Time_." Oprah smiled and her audience went nuts as they reached under their seats and pulled out their gifts. "Your daughter, the Grand Duchess Sydney, your sister Grand Duchess Katya, who was the former _Lancome_ model and your niece, the Grand Duchess Sophia who's a very famous model in Europe… all made the _Top Ten_ of the list. The Romanov women dominating in the world's beautiful gene pool." She laughed as the pictures of Sydney, Katya, and Sophia from the magazine shown on the screen behind them.

Gasps and awes went through the seats as the photos flashed.

"You're all so astonishingly beautiful, it's easy to see from the portrait of your mother, that she passed those genes on to you." Oprah gushed as the portrait of Anastasia flashed onto the screen next to the other four women. "Your daughter, the Grand Duchess Sydney looks remarkably like your mother in that photo."

"Yes, she does look a great deal like my mother." Irina turned her head to stare at their beautiful pictures. "The first moment I came face to face with Sydney in over twenty years, that was one of the first things that came to my mind; is how much my daughter looked like my mother."

"You talk about that in your book, _Truth Takes Time_, a name derived from the message you gave your daughter just after your first meeting. You've never discussed the details of that meeting before in any of your interviews, but in your book, you detail the painfully shocking outcome. What happened when you came face to face with your daughter for the first time in over two decades?" Oprah's tone changed drastically as the subject turned drastically serious.

"I shot her." Irina admitted softly with a sigh. A gasp went through the audience, tears in the eyes of those who'd already read the book and knew what had happened and astonished tears in the eyes of those who were hearing it for the first time.

"Why?" Oprah asked softly just as a picture of Irina with Sydney as a baby flashed by behind them, adding to the heart wrenching tale.

"I was saving her life…and mine, from my former Supervisor in the KGB. I shot her in the shoulder and gave her time to escape." Irina felt the tears starting to pool in her eyes even as she smiled.

"And then you turned yourself into the CIA," Oprah prompted and Irina nodded as the audience sat wide-eyed, "And you met up with your daughter and your husband, Jack; for the first time in twenty years and what did _he_ do to _you_?"

"He set me up to be executed." Irina answered quietly.

A loud gasp went through the sound stage and Jack swallowed hard in the Green Room watching.

"And it was your daughter, Sydney, who saved your life wasn't it?"

"Yes. Her fiancé, Michael, was the one who'd discovered Jack had set me up. Michael informed Sydney. My Execution was stopped three hours before it took place." Irina repeated the facts as they were with a small sad smile.

"But then you and your husband began working together. Along with your daughter and you became close again." She paused as Irina nodded in confirmation of those facts. "And then something happened in Panama on a mission." Oprah smiled widely and then laughter broke out as Lena's picture popped up behind them and Irina smiled.

"Yes, _something_ certainly happened in Panama." Irina blushed and laughed along with the rest of them. "Our daughter Lena happened." She smiled and more laughter broke out. "Oh, she was so little then." Irina cooed, looking at the photo of her baby who was rapidly getting bigger.

"But you escaped from custody the very next day after how many months in U.S. custody?" Oprah hedged along, enthralled with the story.

"I was in CIA custody, at that time, for 10 months." Irina's fingers followed the curve of the leather binding on the arm of the chair.

"You were living all that time in glass cell," Oprah prompted just as a picture of Irina in the cell appeared behind them. All of the photos being shown on the screen had been a part of Irina's book. "There. Oh God, how could you stand it?"

"I got to see my daughter…and my husband, even if he hated me at the time." Irina smiled as everyone awed, "Arguing with Jack was a favorite past time." She added and everyone laughed.

"Yes! In your book, you talk about matching wits and driving each other nuts. '_Nervous energy_." Oprah laughed, "And '_unresolved sexual tension_."

"Yes, that, too." Irina smiled broadly and the group went into hysterics.

"Which was obviously settled in Panama." Oprah laughed heartily with them and Sydney and Jack blushed madly behind the stage. "Resulting in your second daughter, Lena."

Irina nodded, with a tight smile, trying not to laugh.

"But it wasn't that simple, was it?"

"Nothing ever was, with Jack and I at that time." Irina sobered still smiling with a sigh. "I obviously didn't know I was pregnant when I escaped the next day and didn't find out until months later when I awoke from surgery."

"You'd been shot and stabbed multiple times on a rescue mission for your daughter, Sydney." Oprah became serious again, looking at the scar on Irina's chest.

"Yes. I had to have reconstructive surgery on my hand from the stab wound, and Open Heart surgery for a bullet wound to the chest." Irina traced the exposed part of her chest scar with her finger and more astonished looks went through the crowd.

"You were also shot in the abdomen by a U.S. Federal Agent, while unbeknownst either to you or him, were pregnant at the time. Isn't that right?" Oprah's eyes were wide like saucers when Irina flipped up her shirt and exposed the long horizontal scar racing across her abdomen. "Who was the Federal Agent that shot you?"

"My husband." Irina answered quietly swallowing the lump in her throat thinking back to the moment she realized Jack had actually shot her.

An astonished gasp arose so loudly it sounded as though the air had been sucked out of the room, and Irina was quick to Jack's defense.

"I was after all, a fugitive on the run and he thought that I had hurt our daughter. He was protecting her."

"You could have knocked me over with a feather when I read that part in the book." Oprah once again grasped Irina's fingers. "It was 3 a.m. when I read that Chapter and I called my friend Gail, who was reading it as well, and said, '_Oh girl, did you just read what I just read?_" A small round of laughter went around as Irina smiled, watching Oprah's exaggerated gestures with her hands. "And she was like, '_you mean, did I just read the part where Jack just shot Irina, who was pregnant, because he thought she was hurting Sydney? Hell yes! I just read that and literally fell out of bed!_" When Oprah finished her animated tale, the audience was in hysterics as well as the Green Room. "But that wasn't the end of the family shootings, was it?"

"No." Irina shook her head, looking down and then back up smiling.

"Your daughter Sydney shot you."

Now it was the crowd's turn to be knocked over by a feather.

"She and I were in a standoff, as the hunter and the hunted. She returned the favor of shooting me in the arm, giving me time to escape, though she will neither confirm nor deny it." Irina smiled and laughed, as did everyone over Sydney's allegiance at that time to the CIA and the careful wording around it. "My daughter is a remarkable woman. She is my saving grace."

"I think we should bring her out." Oprah stood and the crowd went nuts again while Sydney took deep breath and stepped out, eyeing her mother who was smiling madly with tears in her eyes. "Her Imperial Highness, the Grand Duchess Sydney Anne Ivanova Romanova Bristowva!"

Irina walked over to meet Sydney and engulfed her in a hug as both wiped at happy tears that sent the audience into blubbering fits as well at the happy reunion. Oprah hugged her tightly and Sydney couldn't believe where she was sitting as she sat down beside her mother on the sofa.

"_Wow._" Sydney stated and then giggled deeply as everyone else laughed with her when they took their seats, looking around at all the faces. "I can't believe I'm on Oprah!" She admitted with childlike innocence that sent everyone into hysterics again. "I used to watch you everyday after I got home from school with my roommates. To be on the show now as a guest is very strange. It's very surreal."

"Your life these last few years seems to be a bit surreal." Oprah smiled, laughing.

"_Yes!_ To me, too! I still can't believe it's mine!"

Oprah was laughing hard at how funny Sydney was.

"I feel like _Alice in Wonderland_, seeing through the looking glass at times."

"You contribute a great deal to this book, adding your own thoughts on events as they took place." Oprah smiled as Sydney took hold of Irina's hand next to her and laced their fingers. "One of the most breathtaking moments for me, that you describe in the book, was your last encounter with your mother in Mexico City, before you were kidnapped." Sydney nodded solemnly, squeezing Irina's hand more tightly. "You were at another standoff with your mom. You had her cornered on the ledge of a forty-plus story skyscraper at gunpoint. You told her to get off the ledge. She was telling you things you didn't understand at the time trying to protect you and then what happened?"

"She told me she loved me…and then she just, fell backwards off the ledge disappearing into the black of night." A loud gasp filled the silence and Sydney went on as Oprah's eyes went wide, remembering very vividly the description in the book of the events. "She had a harness strapped to her but I didn't know that at the time. I thought she just jumped to her death and I felt like my heart stopped. That she was gone and I hadn't told her I loved her, too; in spite of everything, in spite of not knowing the truth about her then." She turned to smile at Irina who had tears in her eyes, "I looked over the ledge and realized she'd jumped to escape, and watched as she climbed through a broken window in the middle of the building. That was it. I didn't see her again until she came flying through another plate glass window in a skyscraper in Moscow." Sydney smiled softly, squeezing Irina's fingers again.

"I was literally gasping for breath when I read that! I was right there with you, Sydney, feeling your angst when she jumped. It must have been horrifying."

"For those few moments I thought she had jumped to her death, yes it was. I was so emotionally conflicted. I loved her and I _tried_ to hate her, but I couldn't. I just didn't understand _why_?" She ran her thumb over the back of Irina's hand, comforting both of them while on this painful topic.

"On the flight home right after this encounter," Oprah smiled softly with tears in her eyes, turning her gaze to Irina, "Was when you wrote the letter that was more of a poem to Sydney, _The Reason_."

**_*The Reason*_**

"Yes." Irina nodded, smiling through her tears. "Though, I never dreamed she'd actually read it."

"And now it's a theme song on the soundtrack of the film about your life, _Absolution_." Oprah smiled and both Sydney and Irina nodded. "Well, we heard that neither of you had heard the recording yet to date and so we brought the fabulous band _Hoobastank_ here to play it LIVE, in it the song's debut!" She stood clapping as the wall behind them lifted exposing the band to a very surprised Sydney and Irina. "_The Reason_ sung by _Hoobastank_!" Oprah announced excitedly as the first notes rang out.

Irina's eyes immediately filled with tears as the band played on and then fell down her cheeks as the first of her lyrics were sang and images of she and Sydney together before her Extraction played behind the band on a white screen.

"What the hell is going on? Why are you all crying?" Kendall asked perturbed and mystified when he approached the small group watching the monitor. "What the hell are you watching?"

"_Oprah_…shhh!" Carrie waved at him, tear tracks running down her cheeks as her eyes remained glued to the screen.

"Is that _Sydney_? _Irina_?" He squinted, seeing the figures next to Oprah.

"Yes, shhh! We're trying to listen to the song Irina wrote Sydney." She waved him to be silent again.

"Irina wrote that?" Kendall asked quietly, generally surprised at hearing the words.

Before it was over, Sydney, Irina, Oprah and everyone else were crying at the beautiful song with the words that carried such a profound message.

"That was simply amazing." Irina smiled, graciously shaking the hands of every band member when they finished and entrancing them with her smile and beauty.

"They are your words, Your Majesty, we just put them to a beat." They smiled shyly before departing.

"That was incredibly beautiful!" Oprah smiled again, passing out tissues and laughing as everyone else did as well. "That's not the only song on the soundtrack that you penned originally as a letter, though, there is the haunting love song called, _I Surrender_, that you wrote as a letter to your husband, while you were in prison for Treason in the Soviet Union. While he believed you were dead."

Irina didn't say anything, only nodded, as she dabbed her eyes trying not to cry thinking about that time in her life and Jack.

"Why were you imprisoned for Treason after your Extraction?" Oprah asked gently and Sydney took Irina's hand again, blinking back tears she knew would eventually fall.

"For falling in love with my husband, the enemy and for refusing to kill him, before I left." Irina smiled nervously, batting at the fallen tear that escaped, "For refusing to terminate my daughter when I found out I was pregnant." She squeezed Sydney's hand, "And then for hiding the fact that I was pregnant again, when I was extracted."

The audience was shaking their heads in disgust and sadness as their own tears fell.

"They committed many unfathomable horrors to you in that KGB Interrogation Prison." Oprah leaned forward, tears coursing down her cheeks. "You describe your torture in vivid detail in the book and in reading it, I was sobbing. Thinking about it now," She batted at her own steady stream of tears, "I can't help but feel how painful that must have been for you when it happened…and then now, to share your story, even the most painful parts with all the world. You say in the book, you are revealing what happened to you, because eventually as a person in such a public position bits of your past eventually come out and at least this way, _you_ give the _truth_ and to show that a person can go to the depths of hell and back and survive. Find their soul and like a phoenix rises from the ashes, go on. That maybe by hearing your story, someone else will find the strength within it to rise out of their own ashes."

"Yes." Irina smiled as she spoke softly, rubbing furiously paced circles across the back of Sydney's hand with rampant nerves talking about this.

"Perhaps the most painful thing for me to read about, as I'm sure it will be for many and most certainly was for you, was what happened to your baby. Your son, the child you were pregnant with when entering the prison. They beat you until you miscarried and then you describe, how you had to deliver his tiny little body, alone in your cell." Oprah paused while Irina nodded and huge tears spilled over her eyes, even as she smiled thinking about her beautiful baby boy. "You named him _Jack_, after your husband."

"He was beautiful." Irina added softly.

There was not a dry eye anywhere on the continent for those who sat in front of their televisions, including the CIA Ops Center where all agents watching, including Kendall standing in the back, were fighting tears.

"Absolutely perfect." She smiled with blurry eyes.

"And then they did the most horrific thing I think anyone could ever do to a mother. They made you watch while they threw his body into the prison incinerator."

Irina nodded swallowing hard to fight her emotions as the immediate image of them flinging her son into the raging fire blazoned across her mind.

"When I read that, I didn't bother calling Gail. I just showed up at her doorstep and we hugged each other and cried for at least an hour. Completely unimaginable to most of us, only knowing that it must have been absolutely soul crushing." She paused collecting her own emotions. "Later in the book, you talk of the time you were actually dead. You were _executed_ and clinically dead for over thirty minutes." Oprah spoke softly with a hint of awe and amazement in her voice at that thought, "You recall the angel who came to take you _home_ and this part left me sobbing all over again."

"Yes. My angel. My son, Jack." She smiled softly though it reached her eyes and Jack felt his eyes burning with unshed tears in the Green Room as Lena nuzzled her sleeping face into his neck. "He was just as perfect and beautiful as my heart remembered."

The audience was literally exhausted with emotion already and it hadn't even been an hour.

"The maniac who forced you to shoot your daughter, imprisoned you, beat the child from your body and ordered your torture and gang rape…" Oprah approached cautiously.

"My former supervisor at the KGB." Irina added, feeling nauseous already nodding in agreement with everything she was saying so far.

"Just a few months ago, kidnapped you, and your daughters. Torturing you all immensely and going so far as breaking your then, not quite four month old baby girl's arm and collarbone, cutting her with a knife, leaving her to cry in hunger for hours and then, leaving her to die. While rats gnawed at her little naked body in an old factory in Moscow." The more Oprah revealed the more disgusted and repulsed sounds came from the audience. "She was found and spent weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and more than a week in an induced coma while she remained in Critical Care."

Irina never spoke, only nodded softly as pictures of Lena flashed in the background, images of the perfect, smiling, sleeping baby intermixed with the horrible images of her frail broken body, with eyes covered and large cast inside the incubator, covered in tubes and bandages.

"You and Sydney were both taken back to the former prison you were held at and tortured, but this time was different." Oprah's sad frown turned into a soft smile as she wiped at her tears, "The last time you were there, your husband had no idea you were still alive. He wasn't able to come rescue you and you weren't sure at that time, that he even would have having just learned the _truth_ about you. Learned that you were a spy, but this time, _this time_…"

"He came for me." Irina interjected with a bright beautiful smile as happy tears fell down her cheeks and a thunderous round of applause went up, bringing the crowd to their feet as Jack entered the stage carrying Lena who was now awake and looking around with wide eyes.

**_*My Hero*_**

The song began playing as Jack entered the stage. His heart had constricted painfully in his chest again, hearing Irina say, '_he came for me,_' with such surprise and awe in her voice _still_, it tore at him that he wasn't able to last time. Even if the wound were nothing but a scar now, from time to time, it would still itch and burn.

Irina stood, too, and smiled through happy tears as Jack kissed Sydney's temple and then captured his wife's lips in a sweet but searing kiss. He wiped the tears from Irina's cheek with a smile and then handed her Lena.

The crowd continued to cheer loudly and whistled louder as he capture her lips in another kiss as they took their seats, with Jack in between Irina and Sydney with Lena on Irina's lap.

"_Whoa!_" Oprah's eyes were wide and she giggled looking over at the impressive couple and family beside her. "So, _Emperor Jack_," Oprah addressed him and Jack laughed, making her laugh and everyone else as he was still not used to the title. "What was it like for you, finding out your wife was in fact, _royalty_? The daughter of a legend, Anastasia Romanov?"

"Well, unbelievable at first. _Very_ unbelievable." He looked over to Irina whose face was nuzzled against Lena's as the baby bounced happily on her lap. Jack's smile widened at the sight. "All these things kept pointing to the truth and I refused to believe them even if they were hitting me over the head repeatedly." He laughed thinking about his stubbornness over the KGB file Sydney had found, the portrait similarities, and then the earrings.

Oprah laughed heartily at his admission.

"In the book, you say it didn't really _hit you_ who your wife really as, until you were standing in Alexander Palace, staring up at her on the Grand Staircase and realized the immense palace, was her home. And then again, when she was addressed formally that evening and the day after repeatedly as, '_Her Highness_' and '_Tsarina_."

"Yes." Jack laughed while Irina smiled at him lovingly, "That was the first time I '_really_' let it in, that my wife was _really_ royalty. It took months after and is _still_ hard to comprehend when I look at her. The entire Coronation felt like a whimsical dream." He smiled, "But it all made absolutely perfect sense, when all the pieces fell into place. Irina's always been a born leader, a teacher, a mother." His smiled widened as he grasped Lena's little hand as she bounced in Irina's lap. "It's all second nature to her, caring for others. Like breathing is to the rest of us."

Irina looked at him with a smile of surprise and love, hearing his statement.

"You are very in love with her, aren't you?" Oprah smiled caught up in the electricity they were emitting.

"Yes. Madly." Jack answered instantly, his eyes never tearing away from Irina's and everyone laughed at his intense gaze.

"I can tell!" Oprah started fanning herself with the magazine beside her, "I feel like I'm going to burst into flames just from the heat you two are giving off!" She laughed and the audience burst into hysterics. "How do you feel about it, Grand Duchess?" Oprah turned her attention to Sydney.

"How do I feel about my parents being madly in love?" Sydney raised her eyebrows and smiled her famous dimpled grin when three pairs of eyes, two belonging to her parents, turned her way. "I think it's absolutely fantastic. They deserve every, happiness and I love, that _they are in love_. It is what every, kid wants for their parents. What every kid aspires for, in their' own life." She smiled at the earnest surprise and happiness she saw in her parent's eyes at her statement. "Sure, it squicks me out sometimes like any other kid, but it's much better to have them kissing then trying to kill each other!" She added and everyone burst into laughter once more knowing the truth of that statement when considering Jack and Irina. "Honestly, though," Sydney added between giggles, "Their love is astounding, admirable and death defying. That heat you feel is _real_…and their love story is just as intoxicating for me, as it is for all of you. They are soul mates in the truest sense. Only really living, when they are together."

"You're right," Oprah smiled at Irina, "She _is_ remarkable."

Before the two hours ended, Julian joined the family and the ladies in the crowd went nuts for the handsome young bachelor, and then later, Katya, the twins, and Marcello were all brought out to tell more tales.

_Oprah After the Show_ taped an additional two hours after the original taping was complete, with everyone so intrigued by the story and enjoying themselves with the constant bouts of laughter.

The other big surprise Oprah revealed at the end of the two hours, was Celine Dion singing, _I Surrender_ for Jack and Irina, leaving not a dry eye in the house or in homes across America.

Celine joined them after the performance, equally intrigued by the Imperial Family as the rest of the world and was brought to tears when it was revealed it was her song, _Goodbyes_, was used in a DVD of family photos of Irina's mother and child, that had ultimately led Jack, and Sydney to seek out Irina immediately after viewing it.

So of course, an impromptu live performance of the song was done bringing on more tears.

* * *

**_*Manniskors Gladje*_**

_Stockholm, Sweden _

"I still can't believe our very own Lena Olin will be playing you in your film." Queen Silvia smiled at Irina across from her in the back of the limo taking them to the royal palace in Stockholm, returning from a day of _'Meet and Greets_.'

"I can't believe this is her singing on the radio!" Irina laughed listening to the famous Swedish actress while looking out the window at the beautiful city. "I had no idea she sang as well. She never mentioned that she was a singer when we met."

The two, along with Lena and Katya, had been touring the city on official business while Jack and King Gustav along with Sergei, Marcello, Julian, Vaughn and Prince Philip did 'guy stuff' all day. Sydney, Sophia, and the Swedish Princesses Victoria and Madeline spent the day officially shopping.

Silvia laughed as her head bobbed from side to side along with the beat.

"Lena was very young when she recorded this song, just a teenager. She's such a talented just love her! It's certainly fitting for her to play you! You're both so very beautiful. Such strong, intelligent women!"

"Thank you." Irina smiled and fingered her hair behind her ear. "Yes, she is amazing, very talented. I am fortunate she accepted the part."

"Of course she would accept!" Silvia laughed, "It's the role of a lifetime!"

"I always loved her in _The Unbearable Lightness of Being_, though I never cared much for her married-lover who didn't like her hat. He was an ass!" Katya smiled and then laughed, "And she was quite fun in _The Polish Wedding_, too!"

"Hmm." Irina nodded agreeing with a smile, "Of course, I loved her in _Romeo Must Die_…for some reason that's the role I could relate to." Irina added softly then laughed with the looks she received.

"Gee, I can't imagine why?" Katya snickered, "A beautiful young Russian woman takes the power away from the men who trained her and becomes the Mob Boss."

This made Queen Silvia laugh, happy to have these new members to the royal circle who were so full of life, _so fun!_ Not the stuffy aristocrats they were used to.

"So when does the film premiere, Empress?" Queen Silvia asked, brushing her fingers over Lena's soft hair as the baby grabbed her feet and bounced her little legs around happily in her car seat.

"Well, the first of the trilogy will be released in two weeks in Los Angeles then Moscow and St. Petersburg." Irina smiled at her baby girl, smiling happily back at her Mama and squirming delightfully when Irina looked at her. "The second and third will follow in three month increments. In October and then December."

"So it _will_ be a trilogy!" Silvia's brows rose, "I was wondering how you were going to be able to tell such a fascinatingly intense story in just one film going all the way from your childhood to the present. I can't wait to see it!"

Irina laughed and shook her head, still in wonder that there was actually a film being made of her life.

"It will be very interesting to see my life on screen. See these women and little girls," she smiled thinking about watching 'herself' as a child, "Who are portraying me. Bridget Moynahan, who is playing the twenty-something version of me is featured in the first of the three, Lena takes over the role in the second and third."

"Lena usually spends her summers here in Sweden with her husband and children but Johan, Lena's stepson," Silvia smiled to them clarifying whom she was speaking of, "Told Victoria at a play a couple of weeks ago that she would be filming most of the summer."

The Queen and her family were good friends with the Swedish mega-Super Star and her famous Director husband.

"Yes." Irina smiled sadly, feeling somewhat badly about it. "They've decided to film all three films back-to-back and now that they've wrapped the first, they have begun on the second and third this summer."

"Well, I'm sure she's having a brilliant time! Though, I can't imagine how she's dealing with being separated from Lasse, her husband, for so long. It must be killing her. They are quite in love with each other, you know?" She offered a teasing smile to Irina and Katya.

"Yes, I know the feeling." Irina smiled wistfully thinking of her own delicious husband and both Katya and Silvia laughed.

Lena started kicking her legs rapidly and suddenly stopped to gauge their reaction, when they all laughed she giggled and went on another kicking rampage.

"She's always on the move, this one!" Silvia smiled kissing Lena's chubby fist and laughed when the baby did. "Her little legs never stop moving!"

"They haven't since the moment I first felt her kick." Irina took hold of one of Lena's feet in a 'catch-and-release' game with her baby. "I swear the inside of my uterus must have been black and blue from the beating it took!"

Katya and Silvia laughed with Irina, which of course made Lena laugh, too.

"I must tell you both, how refreshing it is to be in your company after so many years of royal stuffiness!" Silvia admitted honestly and smiled at their surprised looks. "The Romanovs are intoxicating to be around with your bubbling energy and personalities. The royals of the world needed a breath of fresh air. My children are having a ball with yours, as is my husband with Jack and Marcelo. We all had the most amazing time in St. Petersburg for your Coronation and again, these past few days have been glorious."

"Well, the feeling is mutual." Irina smiled warmly, "We were very much looking forward to this portion of the tour and seeing your family again. You have been a very kind host and I want you to know, that you are welcome in our home at anytime."

"Thank you." Silvia smiled and clasped Irina's hand before laughing. "I still can't believe that you're actually going to _run_ in tomorrow's marathon! When I asked if you wanted to participate, I meant in the ceremony to start the race!"

"Watching has never been Irina's strong suit." Katya sipped her glass of champagne with a smile thinking about her sister's competitive nature.

As soon as they heard that they would be in town for Stockholm's Annual Marathon, Katya had seen the twinkle in Irina's eye and knew that her sister had been restless too long; Irina would participate. She had been running everyday with Sydney but the two of them were looking for an adrenaline rush.

"I've been idle too long, I need a release." Irina smiled and laughed thinking about the look on Jack's face when she casually mentioned to him this afternoon that she'd be running in tomorrow's marathon.

Of course while he was recovering from his shock, Julian jumped in and wanted to run with her and seeing it as a sibling challenge, Sydney wasn't about to let him get credit for running a marathon and said she would also participate having never done so before. Jack could do nothing but roll his eyes at their insanity.

"I've got to release this build up of tension and energy _somehow_ now that I've taken leave of the extracurricular activities in my life."

Katya and Silvia both burst into hysterics when Irina shrugged.

"Well my dear, if the extracurricular activities you are referring to are similar to that motorcycle chase in Spain I saw on the news," Silvia began with a giggle, "I can see why running 40 km would be an adrenaline rush for you."

"At the pace she runs? _Yes!_" Katya smirked at her sister and Irina's eyebrows dipped devilishly.

**_*It's Raining Men*_**

"Look at them! The guys are just surrounding them!" Sophia laughed pointing to the hundreds of men flocked around Irina and Sydney at the start of the race.

Jack and Vaughn narrowed their eyebrows looking down from the stands watching the gorgeous Scandinavian men essentially hitting on their half naked wife, daughter and fiancée.

More then 2,000 runners were going to participate from all over the world and all of them were surprised to find out that the Imperial Family of Russia would be running. The news spread like wild fire through the racers the moment that Irina, Sydney and Julian registered for numbers.

Crown Princess Victoria held the start gun in the air and squeezed the trigger. The shot ran out and the runners broke through the blue ribbon thundering down the pavement street as the race began in the early morning hours.

"I'm going to beat you, Dear Sister!" Julian taunted Sydney with a smile in his tight white running shirt and little blue shorts looking across Irina who was in the middle just after the one-mile mark.

"Over my dead body!" Sydney shot back, decked out in red and increasing her speed.

"Is that a challenge?" Julian quickened his speed to pull ahead of Sydney, both trying to out do the other while Irina smiled and shook her head at the two.

"Damn right it is! _Little Brother!_" Sydney fired determinedly, emphasizing _Little Brother_ and pushed harder, edging ahead of him.

Julian pushed harder and the two kept hedging back and forth until they were full blown sprinting. Irina shook her head, laughing at their sibling rivalry and happy they were finding common ground. Deciding to teach them a little lesson she smiled widely, winking at the cute blonde Swede next to her before literally bolting ahead of the pack after Sydney and Julian.

"You two better pace yourself," She flew by them, a blaze of black, leaving them both stunned as she passed. "You can't keep this up for another 25 miles or you won't finish!" She yelled back over her shoulder and the pack of runners all increased their speed trying to keep up with their new leader.

Sydney glanced over at Julian who smirked and increased his speed determinedly irking her and she sped up as well, neither heeding their mother's warning, no matter how good of shape they were in.

Irina looked over her shoulder to see her children thundering up behind her, obviously still in competition with each other and she laughed. The three of them had been running together every morning for a while now and every morning, somehow it turned into a race between Sydney and Julian, always ending with Irina whipping them both in the end.

News of the Imperial racers quickly flew through the news networks worldwide and soon, reporters on scooters were following them.

"_Mikhail!_" Bella shouted to her husband from the living room, where she stood frozen in front of the television in France.

"What is it, Bella?" He hobbled quickly into the living room with wide eyes having been startled by her yelling.

"Isn't that Irina?" She pointed to the television screen where a gorgeous woman, long dark hair in a pony tail swaying behind her, black sunglasses, running tank-top and shorts, was sprinting her heart out in Stockholm. "And Sydney and Julian behind her?" Bella squinted when she saw the two runners behind Irina. "It is!" She said excitedly with dumbfounded curiosity when the scroll at the bottom of the screen declared the current leader of the _Stockholm Marathon_ as _Empress Irina_.

"My god," Mikhail sighed and sat heavily on the sofa with a big smile, shaking his head and laughing. "She never quits!"

"They are running a marathon?" Bella looked back at him with question and disbelief. "I'm calling Michael." She said quickly and picked up the phone, dialing Vaughn's cell. "Michael!" She spoke rapidly into the phone when he answered.

"Maman?" Vaughn plugged one ear as he tried to listen to her over the crowd gathered.

"Michael, what is going on? Irina, Sydney and Julian are on television! I didn't know they were running a marathon!" She spoke rapidly in French watching the television intently as Irina zoomed past the 15-mile mark. "How can Irina run like that with her insulin problem?"

"She got an insulin pump from her doctor, Maman." Vaughn smiled at the worry he heard in his mother's voice. "We didn't know they were running until yesterday."

"_She's winning!_" Bella smiled excitedly seeing Irina pulling far ahead of the other runners including Sydney and Julian.

"I don't think she knows how to lose." Vaughn smiled, watching Irina's sprinting form on the big screen in front of the stands showing the progress of the racers.

**_*Girl on Fire*_**

Irina was feeling more alive then she had in months. Her body and blood were thrumming as one solid working machine and she pushed on as fast as she could; her pace never waivered as she ascended hills and raced on.

The crowd gathered on the street sidelines, were cheering her on and she smiled widely, kicking it up a notch when she realized, she was really having fun. There was no more needing to hide who she was or what she could do… She could finally show the world, that which had been taken from her before.

The race announcers were flabbergasted as to what to say, never having seen a pace this quick before or maintained for such a long distance. She was _a royal_…running a marathon that took most months to prepare for, _on the fly_… and was breaking records with her speed.

"If the Empress maintains this pace of three and a half minute miles, she will break not only the _World Record_ for marathon running but the _Olympic Record_ as well." The astounded broadcaster from CNN reported.

"Mikhail, did you hear that?" Bella stare at her husband with a slack jaw.

"There is something about Irina, that few know." Mikhail smiled, shaking his head, "She was _supposed to be_ an Olympian."

"Look." Sydney huffed, trying to blow a piece of sweat plastered hair from her eyes as she glanced over at Julian, both still trying their best to out run each other. "We're both dying here and Mom's right, we're never going to make it to the end at this pace. So what do you say, we back off and run together, same pace but slower?"

"Are you backing down, _Big Sister_?" Julian smiled, puffing equally hard and thankful she suggested it first as he was about to.

"No, you little twit! But if we keep this up neither of us are going to finish and we're going to look like a couple of asses' to everyone else for sprinting and then not finishing!" She grit her teeth at his annoyance. If she had to actually grow up with Julian Sark as her little brother she might have gone crazy. "There is no way we're going to beat Mom or ever catch up to her." She huffed seeing their mother way ahead of them now, "But if we back off with our lead here, we can at least finish in the second and third places."

"Fine." Julian nodded and started to slow his pace, as did Sydney. "But the last half-mile, I am going leave you in my dust!"

"We'll see!" She smiled challengingly.

"My goodness, Jack." King Gustav stare wide-eyed at the screen showing Irina, "I _had no idea_ she could run like this! Why was she never an Olympian?" He asked the question the entire watching world wanted to know.

"I have no idea." Jack shrugged wondering himself and also why he'd never thought to ask her. He had yet to get that far in reading Irina's book and made a mental note to power through it no matter how busy they were right now.

It just didn't make sense for the Soviet Government who prided themselves on smashing the world at the Olympics, _not_ to have someone like Irina running for them.

"She was." Katya interjected solemnly with a sad smile and the astonished faces turned to her for explanation. "She decimated the world record in the 800m, the 1500m, and 3000m during the Soviet Club races when she was just thirteen years old and again every year after. No one could come close to her. With her abnormal genetics, it was clear from an early age, Irina _was born_ to run." Katya smiled widely staring at her sister pounding the pavement on the big screen. "When she was fifteen, she smashed her own record earning her well deserved spot on the Soviet Olympic Team training for the Munich Games of 1972." Her proud smile began to fade and Jack's brow creased remembering the Olympics in Munich, remembered watching them _with Irina_ in his apartment. "She was removed from the team by the KGB. They knew she would win the Gold in all events. No one else in the world could match her times. Being that she was only fifteen at the time, she would have only been eighteen years old when competing in the Games. They knew she would get a lot of world attention for being so young and that was something the Soviet Government definitely did not want." She shook her head sadly as everyone else's faces fell. "They couldn't have the world looking into her life and finding out who she really was, who her mother was. So, they pulled Irina off the team and put her into training to be a spy instead. She was devastated." Katya spoke slowly remembering her sister's state at that time: the tears and Irina's refusals to eat or get out of bed for weeks.

Jack's mind and memories suddenly clicked into place.

"We watched the Munich Games together." He spoke softly and Katya's eyes darted to his. "I remember we were watching the women's 1500m and the Soviet runner won. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but now…I remember the look on Irina's face." His mind raced back to that day, "Watching that woman standing on the podium receiving her Gold Medal as the Soviet National Anthem played…Irina just got up…and left suddenly." He could see now why she was upset. She as supposed to be in that race. "She headed for the door and said she was going out for a while. She went running. She was always running, so I guess that's why I didn't think anything of it." His voice tapered off.

"The Soviet runner who won that Gold Medal…_Irina's_ Gold Medal," Katya emphasized Irina's name, feeling her sister's disappointment and protective towards her even all these years later, "Was Lyudmila Bragina. She was the one who had replaced Irina on the team and had always placed _second_ _behind Irina_. Lyudmila had always hated my sister for her speed and the fact that she was half her age. In all the years they raced, Lyudmila was a fantastic runner but could never hold a candle-stick to Irina. Lyudmila won the Gold with a time of 4 minutes and 4 seconds for the 1500m. Irina's average at that time was 3 minutes 20 seconds." Her own voice tapered off as her smile died.

A few long seconds went by as everyone thought about how badly that had to have hurt Irina, to watch someone you beat _over and over_ in races…_win_ the Gold Medal at the Olympics.

"In the end," Katya smiled up at Jack, "Lyudmila got the Gold…and Irina got Jack. I think my sister would say, she got the better deal." She winked at Jack and made him smile shyly though his heart felt heavy.

He turned his sights back to the screen at his beautiful wife. _'She was supposed to be an Olympian…_' Jack thought watching her with awe, '_Something else she was forced to sacrifice in her life._' He heard the thunderous round of cheers in the distance as she rounded the corner more then a mile away, coming down the homestretch.

"She's going to break the record!" The race announcer proclaimed excitedly in Swedish to the gathering crowd as they looked at the clock.

Irina could hear her heart thundering in her ears and pounding off her chest walls. The salty sweat was running over her limbs as she pushed on towards the Finish Line, wiping at the sweat slicked hair tendril stuck to her cheek.

The crowd was going ballistic along the beautiful city streets for her and she couldn't help but be excited as the camera crews surrounded her on their scooters with cameras, as well as her own Security Detail who could not keep up with her on foot.

As she neared, Jack smiled brightly for his wife who looked as though she were flying towards him, and the crowd was going hysterical. _She deserved this_. He made his way to the ground with security to greet her.

Irina saw Jack standing on the other side of the white Finish Line, wearing a big smile on his face waiting for her with Lena in his arms and she ran harder towards the beautiful sight. She crossed the line at 1 hour 31 minutes and 12 seconds, _shattering_ the current World and Olympic records for both Men and Women by almost an hour…leaving everyone dumbfounded at this incredible woman. She had maintained her 3.5-minute miles the entire 26 miles. She ran straight into Jack's arms as the people cheered loudly witnessing history and the loving exchange.

"You're amazing." Jack held her sweaty shaking body against his, whispering in her ear as he kissed her. "And I'm so proud of you. You just shattered the World and Olympic records." He laughed, pushing her sunglasses up to look in her beautiful dark eyes before passing Lena off to her, and wrapped Irina's shoulders with a towel. "You are absolutely, unbelievable and I love you." He kissed her soundly as the Swedish Royal family and the other members of hers joined them on the street. "How are you feeling?" He cupped her sweaty head in his hands, looking into her eyes with concern.

"Fantastic." Irina smiled still breathing heavily as Lena bounced happily in her arms.

"Empress, you are simply amazing! Is there nothing you can't do?" King Gustav embraced her and kissed both sweaty cheeks with a laugh. "The officials said the rest of the pack is an hour behind you…led by your daughter and the former, World Record holder who is going to be very disappointed to learn you've obliterated her record."

Irina smiled and took the bottle of Gatorade Jack offered.

"What about Julian?" She asked between sips, realizing he'd said _daughter_ but not _son_.

King Gustav laughed, "He couldn't keep up with Sydney and fell behind her with the rest of the pack."

"Oh, she's got to be loving that!" Vaughn smiled and laughed, happy for Sydney knowing how much she was going to enjoy rubbing Julian's face in it.

Katya didn't say anything to Irina, just smiled knowingly as the two exchanged a silent conversation and then Katya stepped forward and hugged her sister tightly, kissing her temple with tears in her eyes.

Jack noticed the violent shiver that ran through Irina's body.

"You need to keep walking until you cool down." He grabbed her arm protectively and pulled her with him, realizing she'd been sprinting for 26 miles and just stopped suddenly.

"Yes, I do…Excuse me." She nodded slightly to the others while she followed Jack.

Irina smiled widely, breathing heavily and kissing her baby's cheeks as she stared into Jack's eyes seeing the love for her there and never tiring of it.

It was at 2 hours and 34 minutes that the crowd, including Irina, went wild as Sydney came flying down the homestretch and into Irina's awaiting arms.

"I did it." Sydney gasped, her chest heaving as her legs quivered beneath her, having never run that fast and far in her life. She clung to her mother afraid she would drop.

"Yes you did, Sweetheart." Irina's eyes filled with tears, her motherly pride soaring. "I'm so proud of you."

"I beat Julian!" Sydney smiled and giggled when Irina rested her forehead against hers, more excited about that than anything and Irina had to laugh with her.

Silvia's breath caught in her throat and she froze grasping her husbands forearm when she caught sight of the blue Gulag tattoo on Irina's lower back when Irina moved her arms to hug Sydney, exposing the identification mark, now marred with a thick pink scar, she had only read about recently in Irina's book. Her husband saw it, too and forced himself to give Jack a small smile when he caught the man's glance. The woman before them was truly incredible, a miracle in her own right for everything she had survived and accomplished in her life.

The former World Record holder had suddenly, stopped running when Sydney had pulled ahead of her, complaining of cramping in her Quad muscle and dropped out of the race with six miles left to go. She would no doubt be spinning that excuse as to why she was severely beaten by the Russian Tsar and her daughter.

Six minutes later, Julian with a number of other runners crossed the finish line where Sydney was waiting for him with a bottle of water and a smug grin firmly in place.

"How did my dust taste, Little Brother?"

"You have an unfair advantage." Julian snatched the bottle of water and grabbed his throbbing sides while everyone else watched the two laughing.

"How's that?" Sydney's eyebrows narrowed at his excuse.

"Your genetics! You've inherited our mother's large heart and abnormal DNA being her biological child, which gives you the ability and stamina to run like the Gods as she does." He puffed and bent over, hands on knees and winced from the sharp pain in his side. "I, on the other hand, am a mere mortal."

"Whiner!" Sydney shook her head laughing and grabbed his bicep pulling him upright, and pulling him along. "You are cramping up because you haven't cooled down, Junior…_keep walking!_"

"My God, you're bossy!" He fired at her in their banter and everyone else died with laughter watching the two.

"And you're an obnoxious loser! _Walk!_" She laughed, pulling hard on his arm for him to follow her. "_Arms in the air!_" She commanded, trying to help him stretch out. "_Deep breaths!_"

Before they left, the race officials had taken both Irina and Sydney's blood to be tested for any enhancing substances that was required for any racer finishing in the _Top Five Finishers_, especially if the World Record was broken. They of course, would find none, but it would squash any future claims that the miraculous runners were cheaters.

Irina gave two interviews, one to the Swedish television station and the other to CNN and by morning, her running profile graced the cover of every major newspaper in the world along with the story of how she was supposed to be an Olympian and was pulled off the team by the KGB because they didn't want anyone to find out about her mother and who she really was.

They swung through Denmark, Finland, Norway, and Estonia before making it home to St. Petersburg for a few days of rest before going back to Los Angeles.


	3. Chapter 3

**_AN: The Jack and Irina 'Sex-athon' as Mary put it :) does continue on in this chapter... BUT, you're also going to get the truth about what this is all about. I write with purpose. Everything has meaning. Even the sexual encounters I'm writing have a deeper meaning. -Wild_**

**_Music for this chapter (on repeat): Katusha by The Red Army Choir, Red Alert by Basement Jaxx, Together by The xx._**

* * *

THREE

o

**_*Katusha*_**

St. Petersburg, Russia

Irina smiled hearing laughter coming from the pool when she neared the massive marble entryway. She paused in the doorway, leaning on the cool stone to observe her family splashing wildly in the water of the enormous Olympic size pool.

The retractable skylight had been opened letting the warm sunlight in and the water prisms bounced about the room with brilliant colors. The entire space decorated in accordance to the classical style of the rest of the palace and distinctly Russian.

Vaughn had just grabbed Sophia from behind as he walked by pulling her into the pool with him, leaving her sputtering to the surface where a full on splash war followed.

Katya sat in a lounge chair off the side laughing as she sipped on her drink and Marcelo rubbed her feet, enjoying the time together they had now. Sophia and Sydney had teamed up against the assaulting dunking-force of Vaughn, Sergei and Julian and Jack watched them from the far end of the pool where he was playing with Lena.

Slowly she walked towards her baby and Jack, smiling at her older children as she passed and stripped off the blue wrap that enclosed her waist and let it drop at the pool's edge. She sat down on the edge and let her legs dangle in the water, smiling happily as Jack and Lena slowly made their way towards her with smiles.

Jack was holding the baby with his open palm to her belly, his other to her back as he skimmed her across the surface of the water towards her awaiting mother, Lena giggling the entire way.

"Hello Beautiful," Jack leaned up to kiss his wife with a smile when they reached the side. "I was wondering when you were going to come join us."

"I was on the phone with Vladimir." She sighed, the conversation clearing taking something out of her.

"Chechnya again?" Jack asked softly, knowing she had been discussing the recent developments there heavily with her, now, Prime Minister. It seemed, that some of the rebels had requested a private talk about their current situation with Irina now that she was the Tsar, their perspective on Russia had begun to change.

Irina nodded softly and Jack tugged on her ankle. "Get in here and play, Mama." He smiled bouncing the gurgling baby in his arm.

"Absolutely." Irina pushed off and jumped into the water, going all the way under and coming back up with dark hair slicked down her back and her baby blue bikini stopping him from blinking at the sexy sight before him.

"Have I mentioned what an incredibly sexy mother you are?" Jack said softly as he passed her the baby.

"I heard that!" Julian shouted with a deep laugh before doing a cannonball off the diving board and everyone laughed. When he came up he pointed to the walls of glass and stone that surrounded the pool, "The acoustics in here are incredible!" He laughed and Jack swatted a huge splash of water towards him and the laughter rang out again.

"Ignore him." Irina smiled seductively at Jack and bobbed in the water with her baby, moving towards the deep water, swimming backwards and pulling Lena back with her. "Thank you. You're pretty tempting yourself and if the children weren't here..." She spoke softly when Jack swam out to them and he immediately felt his groin twitch.

"_I heard that!_ We can leave if you want us to?" Julian threw his head back laughing and Sydney violently pushed him into the pool.

"_Stop!_ Pretend you don't hear anything!" Sydney scowled at him then laughed when he came up sputtering and Katya nearly spit her drink out.

Irina wrapped her long muscular legs tightly around Jack, Lena between them and the sensations of the close contact of his and Irina's bodies made him hold his breath. She was purposely teasing him and goading their children and he knew it.

"You're the devil in a blue suit, you know that?" He whispered huskily in her ear and Lena took the opportunity to grab onto his ear and began babbling in her loud baby sounds.

Irina's only response was to widen her smile and tighten her leg squeeze with a forceful thrust of her hips into him beneath the water, feeling him harden beneath her.

"I'm going to nail you for this later, you know…" Jack tried desperately to remain calm and breathe looking into the seductive eyes of his wet wife whose body was closing around him like a vice grip as he tread water.

"I hope so." Irina whispered back in his ear, biting his earlobe and laughing.

"Seriously, do you want us to leave?" Julian shouted again seeing the two limb-locked at the far end of the pool.

"_No!_" Irina yelled back, her eyes never leaving Jack's and Lena's dark eyes suddenly went wide with the echo. "Will you hold her a second?" She whispered into Jack's ear, kissing the spot just before it and then kissing Lena's cheek, she disengaged her legs and suddenly disappeared under the water.

**_*Red Alert*_**

Jack turned quickly and tried not to laugh when he saw her form under the water making a bee-line the length of the pool to the unsuspecting son who had no idea he was about to be attacked by his mother.

Irina turned quickly under the water wrapped her vice like legs around Julian's middle before he knew what was happening and she drug him under the water, wrapping her entire body around his, and flipping herself on top of him, drowning him as everyone burst into hysterical laughter watching what looked like, an Anaconda and its prey flipping wildly in the water.

Irina would let him come up for the occasional gasps of air before dragging him back down and finally, she flipped him, latched onto his back, wrapping her legs around his middle and her arms like a bear around his neck she let him come to the surface.

When Julian found his footing and stood in the water, he wiped the water from his wide-eyes as Irina clung to his back like a monkey, her cheek pressed to his and everyone remained dying in laughter.

Vaughn, who had been on the side, literally fell to the ground and was rolling with laughter looking at the wide-eyed Sark with a wet Irina clung to his back. Marcelo had fallen backwards on the lounge chair and Katya was slapping her leg with her hand in hysteria.

"Oh my God, I wish we had that on video!" Vaughn howled in laughter and rolled sideways into the pool.

"We do." Irina smiled her famous grin, body still firmly encasing Julian's. Her voice vibrating through his head as their cheeks remained pressed together. She lifted one finger to point at the security cameras at every corner of the room. Her gaze fell to Sydney, who looked positively stricken and Irina tried with all her might to maintain her tight smile, biting on her lips when she realized her daughter had just now realized there were cameras surrounding the pool…capturing _all _activity, all day, all night, every day, every night… _Well, except for of course, when she turned them off knowing she and Jack were going to be doing water aerobics. _Her daughter unfortunately, didn't know enough to turn them off last night capturing her ow 'water aerobics' with Vaughn.

Thankfully, Irina had only caught the 'warm up' and quickly turned off the cameras before being exposed to the entire 'exercise.'

Vaughn wore an equal look of ash and Irina finally lost it, bursting out laughing and dropping her face into the crook of Julian's neck.

"What's so funny?" Katya asked, clueless as everyone else.

"Nothing." Irina quickly recovered, saving her daughter and future son-in-law any more embarrassment. "Who wants to play Chicken with me?" She didn't give her son the option of being her 'post' as she rapidly climbed up Julians body and onto his shoulders before he had a chance to blink, still recovering from his attack.

"Oh, you're on!" Sydney ascended onto Vaughn's shoulders with an evil laugh, in a feisty fighting mood now at being caught by her mother.

"I want in on this!" Sophia about drowned her brother, jumping onto him and scrambling up onto his shoulders. "What are the rules? Are there any rules?"

"Or is this all out war?" Sydney flashed her feral gaze to her mother.

"War!" Irina laughed and the three began grabbing at each other, trying to push and pull each other off.

"Oh brother." Jack sighed at his family's competitiveness and then smiled, swimming with Lena towards the chaos. "Some things never change." He kissed Lena whose wide eyes were focused on the splashing, laughing people at the far end of the pool.

Irina grabbed Sophia's upper arm and pulled hard, almost toppling Sergei at the same time she narrowly avoided Sydney's violent push from the side. Sophia grabbed onto Sydney's arm and pulled her with her and before long the both of them went flying off to the side of their posts, Irina claiming victory with arms held high in the air.

"Balance children, balance." She mocked them when they emerged from the water coughing.

Sydney ate the challenge and climbed on top Vaughn's shoulders once more as Sophia scaled Sergei.

"All right, Mom, prepare to eat your '_balance!_" Sydney laughed evilly and shared a quick look with Sophia.

Before Irina had time to react, the both of them were attacking her on both sides in a joint effort.

Irina for the most part was holding her own but Julian couldn't take it and when Vaughn and Sergei both swiped the legs out from under him, fell backwards bringing Irina down with him.

"_Yes!_" Sydney screamed with glee, the sound echoing off the walls and startling Lena as she celebrated with Sophia by doing a little dance a top Vaughn's shoulders. "Balance Mom, balance." Sydney mocked her mother in return and Irina just smiled, shaking her head with laughter.

"Impressive." Katya in turn mocked them, "It only took _four of you_ to bring her down." She laughed deeply, throwing her head back and accepting another drink that Dmitri had given her. "Post switch!" She called out, immediately taking over as referee of this game. "Best of five is the Victor."

"Well this ought to be interesting." Jack laughed watching Irina climb onto Vaughn's shoulders, taking the drink Marcelo handed him in the pool, holding Lena as she splashed excitedly. Sydney was now a top Sergei and Sophia on Julian's shoulders.

_'I can't believe I'm doing this!'_ Vaughn thought internally, his hand going over Irina's thighs just above her knees to hold her on his shoulders while she linked her feet behind his back.

The first real thought that came to his mind when she was settled was, how unbelievably light she was. _Easily breakable_, which was a strange irony considering the woman on his shoulders, and he could now physically feel the concern over her weight-loss with Jack and Sydney.

"This is certainly never a position I thought I would ever be in with you, Michael." Irina voiced both of their awkwardness with a smile, as his head turned to look up at her.

"I was just thinking the same thing." He smiled shyly and they both laughed, catching Sydney's attention and making her smile at just how far her family had come. Her mom was now perched a top Vaughn's shoulders, wearing nothing but bathing suits and working as a team.

"You two, smile!" Katya shouted at them from the side of the pool where she was now snapping pictures of them with the camera Dmitri had snuck to her. "Fabulous!" She smiled and proceeded to shoot every other team as well before she'd let their game continue.

All further thoughts were violently flushed away when the attack was on again and Irina and Vaughn emerged victorious twice in a row, proving to be a good team with Irina's upper body strength and balance and Vaughn's sweeping leg maneuver.

"We make a good team, Michael." Irina smiled reaching over to shake his hand as she pushed her wet mane over her shoulder.

"Yes we do." He smiled in return and laughed when Sophia lunged at him from behind, climbing up onto his shoulders laughing.

"You better not fall over, you little punk!" Sydney teased Julian when she went to climb her post.

"Well how am I to help it if your weight throws me off balance?" He shot at her with his cocky grin, goading her until her ears burned red and she violently climbed up his back, whipping his head around by grabbing his hair.

Julian shared a knowing look with Vaughn, knowing that Irina and Sergei would no doubt be the winners of this match and agreed to take them on together.

Once again the foursome was successful in dumping Irina and were in the middle of laughing hysterically as she and Sergei sputtered to the surface when Lena cried out, her little hands moving in tandem, reaching out and grasping at the air towards her mother.

"Mama! Mama mama!" She babbled in her distress and everyone ceased sound and movement.

Irina's eyes lighting up and instantly filling with tears looking at her baby hearing her say her first word and having it be, '_Mama_,' while reaching for her.

"Did you hear that?" Jack's eyes were equally sparkling as he looked from his baby to Irina on the other side of the pool.

"Mama mama mama!" Lena babbled out again on the verge of tears reaching for Irina.

"_She speaks_!" Sydney's smile lit up like a Christmas tree. Like a spring board, Irina reacted by standing on Sergei's shoulders and diving off over his head, darting under the water and emerging right in front of her expectant baby.

Lena was startled at first and then smiled her big toothy grin, once more reaching out to her mother, "Mama…" She cried and so did Irina. Taking her baby in her arms and kissing her neck repeatedly as she held her close.

"You said Mama! Sweet baby girl, I can't believe you said Mama!" Irina babbled on excitedly in Russian smothering Lena in kisses while Katya captured the moment with the camera.

Jack's heart melted seeing Irina's happy tears at hearing their baby call her, '_Mama_' for the first time just as it had when Sydney had done the same all those years ago.

Lena started fussing and then bit into Irina's collarbone with her sharp little teeth, burying her face into her mother's skin in agitation.

"Ah!" Irina laughed and pulled her back, "I guess you're hungry." She waded with the baby towards the edge where she handed her to Marcelo already waiting with her Ducky towel while Irina crawled out.

"Mama mama mama!" Lena babbled again, finding word recognition and getting the results she wanted from it, now knew she had the right words from her mother's reaction; her little arms reaching for Irina impatiently.

"Ok, ok!" Irina laughed speaking softly in her singsong voice as she finished wrapping her sarong around her waist and took the baby. "Mama's coming! Let's all get something to eat!" She turned, calling over her shoulder and motioning them all out of the pool. "How about Stroganoff?"

* * *

"Jack!" Irina called from the bathroom, smiling at Lena as the warm mist surrounded them. "Jack!" She called again and her husband entered the sauna like environment eyeing his wife behind the steamy glass with their baby gurgling away. "Can you please take her and get her pajamas on while I finish? I can't wash my hair with her squirming around in my arms." Irina wiped her hand across the glass in a circle clearing the steam to see him and flashed her mega-watt smile from behind the glass.

Jack smiled, stepping forward and opened the glass doors letting a rush of warm mist out.

"Thank you." She smiled again and kissed her baby girl as Jack wrapped her in a fluffy white towel and Lena instantly started fussing, reaching for Irina.

"Mama mama ma!" She cried out and Jack tried to soothe her to no avail.

"Mama will be out in just a minute, Peanut." He continued to dry her off as Lena kicked and squirmed against him, his eyes flashing back to a naked Irina, surrounded by steam with hot water cascading down her body in the doorway of the shower. Her long dark mane, slicked over her shoulder and covering one breast until she flipped it over her shoulder and closed the glass.

Jack swallowed hard remembering his earlier promise in the pool. He quickly exited the bathroom, the towel from the pool still around his waist as he hastily zoomed across their bedroom. The cold air hitting Lena startled her and she shivered.

"_Ah!_" Jack held her out away from him as he felt the warm surge flow down his naked torso. "You peed on, Daddy!" He held her at arms length stunned and she smiled and giggled and he couldn't help but do the same. "It's my fault, I know." He laughed and pulled her closer, using the dry part of her towel to wipe himself off as he went into the hallway on the way to her nursery, on a mission to get her dressed rapidly for his plan.

"Vaughn!" He smiled, getting an idea instantly when he ran into the younger, freshly showered man outside his door. "Take Lena and get her pajamas on." He thrust his towel bundled naked baby at Vaughn. "Please." He added as an after thought when he saw Vaughn's startled, bewildered reaction. "She just peed on me. I need to shower."

Vaughn's hand immediately flew over his mouth to stop his abrupt laughter at Jack Bristow getting peed on by a baby.

"Go." Vaughn mumbled the go ahead and smiled widely when Jack spun on his heel towards the bedroom.

"Thank you." Jack said tersely before disappearing into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him, not intending to have a repeat of Christmas.

"Way to go, Baby Bug!" Vaughn smiled and gave Lena a mini High-Five for peeing on Jack. "Now let's get you into a diaper and pj's before you pee on me!" He rubbed his nose with Lena's making her giggle and bounce in his arms.

He laid her on her changing table and she immediately grabbed for her feet, babbling incessantly while he found her diapers, Onzie and pj's.

"How about these?" He held up her short-sleeved 2-piece pajamas that were white with pink trim and apples and she smiled, gurgling and chewing on her towel. "I take that as a, yes." He laughed, setting them down as he grabbed some moist baby wipes. "I suppose we better clean you off if you peed on Daddy." He snickered and broke into a big smile when she giggled, as if understanding what he was saying. "Well, I think Daddy owes you for that." He fashioned her diaper on her squirming body with a smile. "It gave him an excuse to join Mommy." He snickered, shaking his head at the crazy couple. "Your Daddy thinks he's so smart." He laughed, pulling her Onzie over her head and snapping the buttons while she bounced, "But he's not fooling me. I heard the shower running and your big sister told me that you were going to shower with your Mommy, so…" He raised his eyebrows at her making a face and she burst into giggles again.

"So…what?" Sydney smiled stepped into the room behind him, wrapping her arms around him from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder, having not heard the first part of the conversation. "And why are you dressing my sister?" She smiled, watching as he finished with Lena's pajamas; she loved to see him in action with the baby, he was so adorable.

"Because Daddy is too busy multi-tasking." Vaughn laughed, holding out his fingers above Lena, watching as she grabbed them and pulled herself upright with a smile before he scooped her up.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sydney's brows knit together as she kissed her freshly cleaned baby sister's neck, their favorite part.

"Do you really want to know?" Vaughn arched his eyebrows at her with a cocky grin and that was all it took for Sydney to 'jump on the bus' of understanding.

"Oh jeez…" She squinted her eyes and then laughed, "Those two, I swear!"

"Those two? How about us?" Vaughn laughed, still making faces at Lena who was grabbing his cheeks with both hands giggling. "How many times are we going to catch them, and they catch us? I mean today, in the pool, Sydney, I didn't even think about the security cameras last night."

"I know!" Sydney broke into a fit of giggles, "I froze when she pointed them out and then when she looked at me, I knew we were busted!"

"Well your Dad seemed to miss that exchange, Thank God!" Vaughn emphasized making wide-eyes at Lena and causing her to smile and him, too. "Your Mom saved us on that one, pushing aside any further questioning with a game of Chicken. You were quite vicious. I love it when you're rough." He waggled his eyebrows and she burst out laughing before capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

* * *

**_*Together*_**

"Where's our baby?" Irina smiled at Jack seductively with amusement in her voice at the look in his eyes and already raging hard-on when he stepped into the shower with her.

"She peed on me." Jack deadpanned then smiled when Irina burst out laughing, looking him over. "I gave her to her Godfather to dress."

"You passed your fatherly duties onto Michael?" She shook her head with a smile, "_Tsk tsk tsk_." She made the noise of disapproval with her tongue while she turned them and pushed him under the water spray.

"In favor of taking care of my husbandly ones." He breathed heavily, looking down over her water slicked body, her breasts almost touching his chest as she lathered him up with the mesh sponge and shower gel.

"And which ones are those?" Irina cocked her head with a dangerous smile, playing along.

"The ones where I keep my word," He grabbed her ass and brought their bodies crashing together, "To nail my wife later. _Now_ is later." His mouth devoured hers as hot tongues collided and Irina dropped the mesh sponge, clawing at Jack's back and wrapping her leg over his hip. He turned them and pushed her into the adjacent wall, lifting her leg higher on his hip while his throbbing cock ground into her belly.

"You're such a tease." He smiled, flicking her nipple with his thumb and rolling his hips, teasing her with a thrusting motion. "My turn."

"Jack-ass." She smiled, hooking her leg tighter around his ass and laughed when he did, capturing his mouth with hers. Her tongue plunging deep and scraping the length of his teeth while her fingers dug deeply into his shoulders.

"You're so sexy." He breathed heavily into her neck, nibbling a path down her saturated flesh from her ear to her collarbone and eliciting a soft moan of approval from Irina. His hands kneading her ass and breast simultaneously as he continued his slow, rolling thrusts of his ass and cock into her abdomen, his balls tickling her crux and driving them both mad with desire. "And one hot _Mama_." He smiled, bringing his face to meet hers in recognition of this momentous day.

Irina saw no jealousy over their baby's first word, only love and leaned in, capturing his bottom lip in a soft kiss with a quick nibble that turned hungry with desire for him. She knew he was teasing her by withholding exactly what she wanted and knew how to make him succumb to her will.

She sucked his tongue into her mouth, squeezing and sucking it like her internal muscles would while her hand snaked between their bodies and grasped his shaft, pumping in time with her sucking making Jack groan loudly in pleasure into her mouth.

When her thumb circled his head spreading his pre-cum he jerked slightly, thrusting into her belly and making her laugh at the effect she was having on him. He was losing control. Her fingers slid down his shaft, encircling and pressing in just the right places while her mouth continued to suck him into submission.

When her fingers reached his base she turned her hand and cupped his balls, rolling them in her hand slowly while she positioned her hand and Jack instinctively spread his legs apart a little further, lost in the sensation of her hands and mouth on his body.

When she reached under and pressed up, deeply caressing behind his sack and hitting his prostate his hips flew violently forward and his already hard cock became granite against her flesh.

"_Irina!_" His loud groan almost a scream that turned into pants of desperation, she had sunk his ship and he knew she won the battle. He grabbed her hips and picked her up, thrusting her down onto him with one slick move, filling her completely and leaving them both gasping and panting.

"No more teasing. Just fuck me!" Irina commanded in 'The Man' voice and Jack started pumping furiously, madly turned on and about to burst with need for her.

"_Wait_!" Irina sucked in a deep breath and Jack stopped mid-thrust looking at her squinted eyes a few moments later.

"Wait? Wait what?" He looked at her confused through hazy eyes, as his hips almost seemed to keep thrusting slowly to their own accord, liking their destination.

"Put me down." She panted softly, pushing against his shoulder.

"What?" Jack pushed back, thoroughly confused but helped her slid off him, "Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?" His voice immediately became concerned.

"No…no…no." She smiled, reaching up to cup his face and kissed him quickly. "I just want you another way." Her seductive eyes danced with danger and hesitation as she turned herself around, pressed her palms against the tiles and turned her head to the side, resting her cheek against them as well. "Okay Jack…"

"Irina…" Jack stumbled dumbfounded and unsure, having not taken her from behind since before Kashmir; before Cuvee raped her from behind. He didn't want to push her into something she wasn't ready for, something that might bring back unexpected flashbacks. "Are you sure?" He asked softly, sliding his hand over her shoulder and down her side to her hip.

"Yes." She whispered, shaking her head and closing her eyes. "I want my husband and I want you this way." She opened them fiercely, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder, determined not to think about Cuvee right now. "Please…" Her heart almost pleaded with him, not sure if he was hesitating because he didn't want to hurt her, or hesitating because he himself couldn't get the image of Cuvee taking her from behind out of his mind. "Unless you-"

Jack immediately knew where her mind had suddenly veered off track and rapidly closed the distance between them, his arms snaking around her chest, and up through her arms, grabbing hold of her hands and linking fingers as he pressed his body into hers.

His mouth finding hers and silencing her thought with a kiss.

"Of course I want you this way. I want you period. I love you and I want my wife this way. If she wants me?" He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her fresh shampoo scent.

"Of course I want you. That's why I asked." Irina smiled softly and tilted her head to kiss his shoulder as her fingers wrapped more tightly with his. "Jack, please. I need _you_…this way, I need _you_."

Jack released one of her hands only long enough to grab his length and guide it between her legs towards her dripping core calling him home. He thrust up swiftly until his tip was all the way inside and then reached around her and found her hand once more, completely enclosing her into his embrace before he finally thrust all the way up into her.

Irina's lungs were panting for breath at the sensation the new angle was creating with the bottom of his shaft pressing hard against her G-spot and driving deeper then before.

His abdomen flat against the smooth skin of her firm ass, their bodies bound so tightly together in this position there was little room for even air. His biceps were pressing against her breasts and with each slow drive into her, pressed her aching nipples into the flesh of his arm.

Jack's need to pump into her with wild abandon at how incredible it felt to be with her in this position was held at bay as they eased back into this way of making love.

Her little pants and mews of enjoyment was an encouraging sign and he was eager to please.

Irina knew he was holding back and gripped his fingers tighter in hers, arching her ass out to collide more fully with his drives and force him deeper.

"It's ok, Jack." She panted softly, "Don't hold back. I need you…don't hold back."

He kissed her shoulder and granted her wish, thrusting more swiftly and deeply, crashing their bodies together and pressing Irina into the cold tiles with a mix of fire and ice.

His body rolled in sync with a smooth motion and their was something so primal about making love this way, something so manly and he knew she had always enjoyed it just as much as he did when they were together.

Irina gasped for air between pounds into her heat, feeling his length driving further and further, filling her completely and leaving her without breath when he pulled out momentarily from the loss of fullness. His thrusts were filled with fierceness, yet she felt completely safe with his tenderness in the intimate way he held her body.

She felt her orgasm building like a slow inferno as his blood-induced ridges stoked her flaming nerves and left her quivering with anticipation.

Jack felt her rhythmic contractions around his member become more urgent and spastic and he knew she was close from the way her body was reacting. He sped up his pace and slammed his body into her from behind with each thrust, egging her on.

"I've never wanted anything…more then I want you." He whispered between need filled thrusts into her ear loud enough only to barely be heard above the sound of the shower spray. His eyes opened and the first thing he saw was the burn scar on her neck from the last time Cuvee had raped her, had marked her flesh in his conquest and without thinking, Jack leaned in and pressed his lips to the puckered circle that had been made in hate and he felt Irina's body shiver.

"I love you, Irina." He pulled back just enough to speak to her, still pumping wildly and then once more, kissed the mark and taking away the pain still held within.

With his words and kiss she broke through the barriers and went flying over the edge into ecstasy, crying out his name as her head turned and she rolled it back and forth with her forehead against the tile as her body shook violently and Jack held her tightly until he erupted inside her, burying his face into the back of her neck and hair as he continued pumping through it.

When the last tremors of his orgasm only trembled through his body, he pulled their joined hands down the tile and pulled her towards his own body, wrapping their joined arms and hands around her body and holding her tightly as his cheek pressed against the side of her head.

"Thank you." Irina said softly, her voice still thick with sedation and tears in her eyes.

Jack turned her in his arms and held her just as tightly standing under the steamy spray and wiping a stray hair from her cheek.

"You don't have to thank me." His eyes bore deeply into hers, his forehead coming to rest against her own. "I love, loving you. You don't _ever_ have to thank me for that." His head tilted so noses brushed before capturing her lips with his own, the taste of salt alerting him to the fact her tears and not water drops that were mixing with their kiss.

"I love you, too." She smiled forcing back any further tears and happy that they'd _finally_ taken back all that they were before her last trip to Kashmir.

* * *

When Jack and Irina finally entered the dining room a half hour later, Katya had been already to tease her sister and brother-in-law about another Siberian Tiger attack but held her tongue when it was clear by the look on their faces and the air surrounding them, whatever happened, was not something to joke about.

Vaughn and Sydney had both picked up on the different vibe as well when Irina and Jack took their seats and shared a look of wonder.

Sydney had immediately gone from potentially squicked about whatever her aunt was going to tease her parents for, to that of concern that something bad had happened between them. She watched them closely for a few minutes and in observing, noticed her father was very attentive to her mother like usual and they continued to share loving glances. It was obvious to her they hadn't fought; so it had to be something else. Fighting she knew how to handle, it was this 'unknown' that left her worried.

Irina happily fed Lena her baby food in between her own bites of Stroganoff as she listened to her family share their stories and all joined in laughter at watching Lena attack her Cheerios and mashed potatoes, something new she'd never had, and was deliriously happy squishing them between her little fingers.

"Thank you for dressing her, Michael." Irina smiled up at him across the table as she pushed more Cheerios toward Lena to grasp when they had all fallen into silence when the meal was finished.

"It was my pleasure." He smiled warmly looking at the dark haired baby with her curly Mohawk push potatoes around on her tray. "I love spending time with her."

"And she loves spending time with you." Irina returned the smile, speaking softly and truthfully seeing her baby light up in his presence.

The dynamics in the room had been off since she first entered the room and at first, she thought she was just paranoid but now her eyes flashed to Sydney's and found her daughter staring at her again with a concerned look in her eyes. She gave her a smile, hoping to stop any lingering worry in her daughter's heart but the small forced smile Sydney gave in return, told her it did not.

When Lena drooped her head and let her forehead rest against the tray on the verge of falling asleep, they all had to hold back their laughter to keep from startling her at the sight of her falling asleep in her mashed potatoes.

"Ok Sweetie," Irina stood, carefully pulling Lena back to take her out of her highchair as Jack wiped off her fingers and face. She nuzzled her face into Irina's neck, holding on with her little fists and scooting her legs up under her against Irina's chest in her sleeping position, clearly ready for bed.

Jack placed a kiss in the middle of Lena's back with a smile, shifting his eyes to Irina's and then capturing her lips.

Everyone continued to help clear their plates but slowed considerably to watch with smiles, the exchange between the three.

Katya stopped and set her dishes aside to walk up beside Irina, dropping a kiss to Lena's head with a smile.

"Good night, my Little Love, Sweet Dreams." She whispered and kissed Irina's cheek with a smile, not knowing why, but knowing that her sister needed the extra love tonight.

Julian followed suit and kissed them both too. Soon, there was a line as everyone said their 'Goodnights' to Lena.

"Sydney," Irina quickly but gently reached out to grab her arm before she turned away after kissing Lena, "Would you like to come upstairs with us?" She knew she had to talk with her daugther seeing the sadness in Sydney's eyes at not knowing 'why' or 'how to help.'

Sydney sighed internally, thanking her mother for the invitation to talk and yet nervous all at once.

"Sure." She smiled softly and turned to Vaughn who nodded with his own soft smile and then her father who did the same.

Sydney followed silently behind her mother and sister up the stairs and into the nursery where Irina sat in the rocking chair. Sydney was in the window seat, plopping a giant white rabbit stuffed animal into her lap, tucking a leg under her and waited nervously for her mother to speak.

The only light sources in the room was the moonlight coming in through the skylight and windows and the tiny Fairy nightlight in the corner by the dollhouse with onion shaped domes.

When Irina had Lena situated, nursing happily and falling asleep she turned to look at Sydney.

Her oldest was gazing out the window to the gardens below, Sydney was so very beautiful in the moonlight… so grown up in contrast with the baby still suckling at her breast and yet, still so childlike in her expressions it made Irina smile.

"Sydney," She spoke softly, tracing Lena's ear with her finger as she rocked gently. "I know you are worried." She paused with a soft smile when Sydney's eyes bounced with light in surprise she would just 'say' it. "You could sense something happened and you were right." She spoke honestly, not wanting to give her daughter all the details and mentally paralyze her with images of her parents, but give her enough to stem her worry and see the _progress of healing_.

"What happened?" Sydney shifted uncomfortably, speaking barely above a whisper almost afraid to hear the answer. "You didn't have a fight with Dad did you? Because I mean, it didn't look like you two fought. It just was, I don't know…I'm rambling I'm sorry I should just be quiet and let you talk." She rambled quickly, flustered and then sighed heavily holding the rabbit in her arms more tightly.

"It's ok." Irina smiled, almost chuckling at her daughter's babbling. "Your father and I didn't have a fight." She chewed the side of her lip to keep the enormous smile threatening to show from escaping thinking about Jack. "We, well…it was rather the opposite of fighting actually."

"Ohhh…" Sydney's eyebrows shot up and she shook her head to keep her mind from wandering to mental pictures, but then furrowed again in confusion. "Well, if that's what…" She motioned flustered with her hands, "What, you were doing…then what happened? Or do I really not want to know and this is something that will require mental bleach?" She added, smiling nervously and trying to ease the tension.

Irina laughed softly at the 'mental bleach' and the movement caused Lena to nuzzle deeper against Irina's flesh at the disturbance.

"Well…I don't think you'll need to get out the Cerebral Clorox this time." Irina smiled running her thumb over the back of Lena's little hand.

Something Sydney immediately saw and recognized. Whatever her mother was about to tell her, it was obviously difficult for her as she was seeking comfort from Lena with her thumb circles.

"Your father and I faced another ghost from Kashmir. And we put it to rest." Irina finally just stated softly, looking at the floor as she spoke and then up into Sydney's wide but understanding eyes. "We've been facing them as they come up. One of them just happened to come up tonight… that's all."

"Are you ok?" Sydney asked softly, swallowing hard knowing exactly '_what kind of ghost'_ her parents must have faced tonight, '_Cuvee and his hideous rape of her mother…_' Often wondering how they faced them since witnessing it first hand, thinking about, '_what if it had been 'her' to be the one that had been raped by Cuvee…how would she deal with it…and then deal with it with Vaughn as a couple? To have him touch her, make love to her and not be instantly flashing back to being raped? To ever let any man near her again…'_

This reason, and after witnessing it, was why she had begun to see her parents physical relationship with a lot less 'squickage' as their child, but as more of an adult, looking at another couple who had gone through _so much_ and were _fighting to stay together_, to _keep their love from dying with the reminder of a horrible act_.

"I'm okay." Irina smiled feeling tears well in her eyes at her daughter's caring heart and knowing that the pooling tears were having the adverse effect of her words, being taken incorrectly when Sydney looked at her disbelieving. "No, Sydney, I mean it." She smiled, wiping at her fallen teardrops, "I'm not crying because I am upset. I'm crying because of how much I love you and your beautiful heart. I have to pinch myself everyday to remind myself that you really are mine."

Sydney's frown turned into instant dimple mania and her own eyes filled with tears.

"I love you, too and I pinch myself everyday. To remind _myself_ you really '_are_' my mother. _My mother_." She repeated more strongly with clear possession, "The mother I've always wanted. The mother everyone wants." She pushed the rabbit aside and moved in front of Irina, kneeling before her and taking her mother's hand, needing the connection. "I am so proud to be your daughter. To know that I am really…_yours_." She smiled widely when Irina cupped her face and she leaned into her mother's warm palm that smelled of her sister's baby scent. "Is it wrong, that I _love_ the look of envy I get from other girls…who wish you were _their_ mother?"

"If it is, then we will be wrong together. For I, too…love the look of envy I get from other women. Wishing you were their daughter." Irina smiled, sniffling and then laughing with Sydney softly. "You are amazing, Sweetheart and I love you more then my need to breathe."

Sydney's eyes surged with tears when Irina leaned forward and pressed her lips to her forehead.

"So you don't need any mental bleach now, do you?" Irina smiled softly and felt Sydney jerk with a held in giggle.

"No, absolutely not. I'm not squicked out at all." Sydney shook her head with a smile. "I meant what I said when we were on Oprah, Mom." She looked up shyly, "You and Dad deserve every happiness and I love, that they you are in love. Your love really 'is' astounding… admirable… death defying." Her eyes filled with happy tears again thinking about all her parents had gone through, "And I am honestly _in-love_ with your love for each other, if that makes sense and doesn't sound weird." She shook her head and then shrugged with a smile when Irina smiled and laughed softly nodding she understood.

"I think I do, because I am just as much _in-love_ with my children…as I am in-love with your father." She beamed and wiped at her falling tears and Sydney's face lit up with a smile.

"Yes," Sydney nodded, holding Irina's fingers tightly in her own, "You and Dad really are soul-mates and it really is what every kid wants for their parents. What every kid aspires for in their' own life. What I aspired for in my own." Her smile turned into a wicked grin as she batted her own falling tears. "Yes, you do squick me out at times but, the squickage is becoming less frequent." She laughed when Irina literally jumped, covering her mouth and trying desperately to keep in her laughter at the thought. "I guess I'm getting used to it being the norm now. Public bathrooms and showers, row boats and bedrooms, cars and clubs, swimming pools…and office spaces. " Sydney laughed her deep giggle, covering her mouth as to not wake Lena listing the places they apparently had in common.

Irina thought she was going to pop her eardrums from the pressure of the bursting laughter she was trying to hold in with her hand smothering her mouth.

"Office spaces?" Irina finally choked out, realizing that was the one incident of their obvious mutual location choices she knew nothing about.

"Yes. You like glass cells, and I like Dad's desk. I am my mother's daughter after all." She smirked with a big innocent shrug and Irina had no control of the high-pitched laugh that escaped before she clamped her hand over mouth, shaking violently with her held in laughter.

Sydney fell backwards onto the soft area rug made of polar bear fur that had been her grandmother's and laughed the same way, with mouth covered shaking her head.

"I cannot believe I just told my mother that!" She whispered between giggles and Irina laughed more.

"Well, don't worry. I'm not about to tell your father!" Irina whispered back, looking down at Sydney lying of the rug before her, laughing like the little girl she had remembered in her dreams for twenty years. "It will be our secret. We need to have those as mother and daughter."

"And as best friends." Sydney added softly smiling earnestly.

"And as best friends." Irina resounded with a radiant smile, her heart literally thudding against her rib cage at hearing her daughter refer to her as her _best friend_. "I have to tell you. I am very proud of you for being so bold."

"Oh, that is so strange to hear from one's mother but then again, you are like _no other_ mother!" Sydney laughed again.

"Go for it!' I say, just remember to check and see if there are security cameras to catch you in the act." Irina arched her eyebrow trying not to laugh thinking about the 'pool' incident.

"Oh, you're one to talk 'Miss Glass Cell Smut' on the CIA's monitors!" Sydney mocked her back and then couldn't stop the bubbling laughter. "Oh God, see now that was one of those images I didn't need reminding of! My dad plastering my mom into the glass of her former prison cell with her legs practically up around his neck…_Oh Gaack_! Where is that Cerebral Clorox?" She sat up looking around as if looking for it blind and Irina swatted at her playfully.

"_Sydney!_" She scolded her trying to sound threatening but failing miserably with held in laughter. "I'm still your mother for God-sake!" Trying to draw some sort of line, though she didn't really care. She was glad her daughter held more of the Russian stance on sex and talking of sex, rather then the taboo of doing so, it caused in Americans…who were easily _squicked out,_ as Sydney said. It also helped that their relationship had thus begun again as adults.

"Yes, I know. Very aware of that fact, which is why I need the Clorox but I guess, I should thank you for that." Sydney giggled, knowing she had just danced perilously close to the 'line' and tiptoed away. '_Now if it had been her father she had said that to… No way in hell she would have ever said that to her father, that was the difference between mothers and daughters and fathers and daughters.'_

The line was much more clear and very distinct for boundaries, made on concrete with painted _red_ lines and a mother's line was drawn in the sand with a stick, always changing.

"Thank me for what?" Irina asked with narrowed eyebrows seeing the mischievous look on her daughter's face in the moonlight.

"That incredible flexibility." Sydney added nonchalantly and held in her laughter seeing her mother's mouth fall open with her admission, always loving the 'stun factor,' and taking advantage of it now whenever she could having missed her teenage years with Irina. "I know Vaughn thanks God you're my mother in that respect, passing on those 'traits."

Irina had nothing to say, '_what could she say_?' Instead, she covered her eyes with her hand and shook her head.

"If your father…" She couldn't even finish the thought of what Jack would think if he heard this before bursting out laughing. "Oh Sydney, I do love you!" She laughed recognizing her daughter's antagonizing for what his was. Sydney had managed to squick her mother out with her own visions of making love with Jack in that cell, and envisioning Sydney watching and then flashing to Sydney in a similar pose with Michael. "You've succeeded in temporarily squicking me out as you say, with your twisted logic in squicking me out on my 'own' love life and your response to it! _Brilliant!_ I must say."

"Thank you." Sydney smiled proudly that her plan of revenge had worked.

"But seriously, Sweetheart. Check the security cameras." Irina laughed, smiling softly and teasing her more, "I, fortunately, only caught a moment of your 'warm up' and flipped the 'off' switch before you accelerated your ahem, 'exercises'…but let's say the next time its not, _me, your very understanding mother_ and say, _your very-near-cardiac-failure-over-his-daughter's-sexu al-exploits father_," She breathed out rapidly causing Sydney to snicker, and almost snort with laughter, "That finds the next security tape? I don't think he could actually handle seeing the physical manifestation on film when he nearly strokes out over just the thought."

"Oh Dad's already seen the physical manifestation on tape." Sydney enlightened her with a smile, "You didn't know?" She giggled evilly.

Irina shook her head with wide eyes, waiting for an explanation.

"I was mortified at the time. But after catching you two in the act just before, just after and during," Sydney shook her head to clear that image of them in the cell she knew would come and Irina smiled in response, "I don't much care anymore. Whether it was disgusting Sloane's idea or his scary double Allison's." Her voice tapered off thinking about all that had seemed so long ago now and yet as fresh as yesterday away, "They hid a camera in the TV in my bedroom and taped my 'bedroom activity.' When we realized my place was bugged, Dad and Kendall had my place swept and they found the camera and subsequent video footage, which of course, featured Vaughn and my sexual adventures."

"And you know your father watched it?" Irina couldn't believe what she was hearing on a number of levels. She could and yet she couldn't. The idea had probably been Julian's, to place a camera in the target's bedroom for black mail evidence, she had taught him that, unfortunately.

Of course, when she taught him that, she had no idea he was going to use her own daughter as the target. She wouldn't share this bit of information with her daughter, now that the 'idea' generator for a camera in her bedroom was now her brother. She only hoped to God, that Julian had not watched the film. She would definitely be asking.

"Well, he's the one… Kendall, I guess was the one who actually said the words. Dad just sat there in a funny awkward daze," Sydney's eyebrows furrowed remembering and then tried not to laugh now. "Anyway, they both kept Vaughn and I after a meeting one day, told us they swept my apartment and found a hidden camera in my bedroom and then pushed a remote towards us before walking out quickly. Sure enough, we pushed play and there was Vaughn on top of me in my bed stripping his shirt off." She shrugged when Irina held her hand up with wide eyes and smile that she got it, "So yeah, basically, Dad at least saw that far and figured out what was going on. Saw the visual of Vaughn on top me while I am half naked and so is he."

"Oh, Dear God," Irina smiled and covered her mouth, hiding behind her hand trying not to laugh again. "Well, it's no wonder your father has issues with you and Michael now, just 'thinking about it' because he has 'that' mental image to pop into his mind every time, just as 'you do' with us in the glass cell!"

"Oh…I guess I never thought about that." Sydney's face scrunched up in realization then laughed about it. "Well, then I guess we're all even in the squickage factor!"

* * *

Sydney smiled brightly standing in the doorway of her mother's study the next morning when she saw Irina on the phone, speaking rapidly in Russian with Lena on her lap; the baby slapping her hands down on the cherry wood top with glee.

When she saw Sydney, Lena gave her a big smile showing off her two perfect little bottom teeth and gurgled happily, alerting Irina to her other daughter's presence in the doorway.

Irina smiled brightly and held up one finger signaling she'd be off the phone is just a moment and Sydney stepped inside, walking up to her mother and relieving her of the baby.

"Don't you ever just stop? Take a break?" Sydney smiled asking in Russian the moment Irina hung up the phone. She sat on the edge of the massive desk in front of Irina and glancing down at the Runner's Magazine with her mother blazoned across the front. "I mean we just got home yesterday and you've been on the phone non-stop." She picked up the _US Weekly_ and smiled at her mother's photo and the insert of her with Lena in the park in Paris. "On_e Hot Mama!" _Sydney waggled her eyebrows at her mother teasing her with the caption. "_Most Gorgeous Woman on the Planet..._" She nodded reading on smiling proudly.

"Not when I have a country to run, a terrorist war to sort out and a wedding to finish planning." Irina smiled happily looking at her girls and taking the magazine from Sydney to scrutinize the photo having not yet had a chance to look at it. "That was Illiyah, and we just finalized plans on two fronts." She chuckled reading the caption on the magazine before setting it back down.

"Two fronts?" Sydney looked at her funny, unsure what her mother was referring to and then winced when Lena grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled.

"Yes, the Russian front and wedding front." Irina stood and stretched; dropping kisses to both daughters' heads before walking to the window to look outside at the gardens. "I'm adding on to the orphanage." She turned softly and smiled, "An indoor athletic field and game room for the children." Her recent run and questions of her own youth and Olympic dreams inspired that little project, realizing those children had no where to 'play' and 'run' in the winter months.

"And on the wedding front?" Sydney asked.

Irina glanced back to the massive gardens she'd spent so much time in with her own mother. "Exactly how we're decorating and setting up the gardens to accommodate nearly 1,000 guests." She raised her eyebrows at the massive size the wedding was turning into as the first Imperial wedding in Russia in more then 100 years.

Sydney's eyes went wide every time she thought about that many guests and shook her head in a daze as Lena bounced happily on her lap.

"I can't believe it's only a few weeks away."

"Are you nervous?" Irina asked softly walking back over to sit next to her girls, hearing something in Sydney's voice.

"To marry Vaughn?" She turned her head to look at her mother, and then smiled, "No. I've been waiting to marry him for years!" She laughed and Irina smiled widely at her daughter's happiness. "But I am nervous about the actual wedding. The thousands people that are going to be watching me up there, the millions more on television."

"Sydney," Irina smiled, laughing softy, brushing her hand over Lena's head as the baby gnawed on her chew toy, "There were millions of people watching you at the Coronation-"

"No, it's not the same." Sydney quickly interjected smiling and shaking her head, "Those millions of people…_billions_ around the planet watching on their television weren't watching '_me._' They were watching _you_! The Empress Irina, Tsarina of All Russia. I was a side show."

Irina threw her head back laughing at the way Sydney spoke and her facial expressions.

"Oh Sweetheart, you are no side show!"

"I was that day and believe me, that was just fine by me! I was right there along with everyone else in awe of you, your beauty and the entire meaning behind what was happening that day." Sydney smiled her beautiful dimple grin that her mother loved so much.

"You are no side show." Irina cupped her eldest daughter's chin, forcing her to look at her as she spoke in soft loving voice. "Not to me, not ever. Do you hear me? You will never be a 'side show' in my life." Her eyes bore into Sydney's, her meaning entirely serious. "To me, you have always been the Main Event."

Sydney's smile widened and her heart skipped a beat seeing and hearing her mother's love for her once more.

"I didn't mean to imply-"

"I know." Irina understood and smiled, switching to English, the language of her daughter's heart, as they usually spoke only in Russian while in Russia. "But I just wanted to clarify that, you are _not_ a side show Sydney Anne."

"I know." Sydney reached up with one hand and cupped it over her mother's.

"Now," Irina dropped her hand but her gorgeous smile remained as she happily bounced off the table. "Let's go for a walk in the garden and talk about your Bachelorette Party, my 'Wild Child." She waggled her eyebrows, "I was thinking Vegas."


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: Oh, let the fun begin! Hold on for a wild, emotional up and down ride. Thank you so much for taking the time to review! Mary, you're a rockstar :) I can't tell you how greatly it is appreciated.**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): ******__Love Is A Battlefield _******by Pat Benatar**_********__, ****__Back in Black _**********by AC/DC**_********__****__, ****__Crash _**************by Dave Matthews Band**_********__****__****__, Tania _**************by James Horner from**_********__****__****__ Enemy At The Gates Soundtrack, Crimson and Clover _**************by Tommy James and The Shondells**_********__****__****__, Kung Fu Fighting _**************by Carl Douglas**_********__****__****__, Why Can't We Be Friends _**************by War**_********__****__****__._

* * *

FOUR

o

_Los Angeles, California_

"Oh my…I forgot all about these!" Irina smiled happily, immediately ripping her t-shirt off over her head and pulling the old one she'd just found in her Hope Chest over her head, looking down with pride. "I can't believe you kept them!"

"_AC/DC_! Signed by Gibson Angus Young!" Sydney reached out to graze the faded signature above her mother's left breast. "Oh God…Eric is going to die when he sees you have that! He _loves_ them!" Sydney laughed with an enormous smile looking at her mother in the old rock group shirt that had definitely seen better days.

The shirt had faded in its color, and a hole had formed in the seam on the sleeve but it was a favorite nonetheless.

"Look at all of these!" Sydney was like a kid at Christmas pulling the stack of variously colored and faded t-shirts out of her mother's Hope Chest. "_Def Leppard, Whitesnake, ZZ Top, Fleetwood Mac, Steppenwolf, Pink Floyd! Aerosmith! Metallica!_" Her voice rose with excitement looking at all the old t-shirts her mother had collected at concerts when she was younger. "I remember looking at these in High School and desperately tempted to wear them but never did."

"Why not?" Irina quirked her eyebrow at her and took another shirt off the pile with a curious smile, inspecting the shirts she hadn't seen for decades as they went through her old Hope Chest for the first time since Irina had returned to their lives.

"They were yours." Sydney gave her a weak smile, folding the shirts in her hands and placing them back into a stack. "I was afraid to wear them out or ruin them in some other way and the last thing I needed was for Dad to get mad at me for destroying your shirts when I wasn't supposed to even be looking in your Hope Chest to begin with. I figured they must have meant something to him if he kept them out of all your clothing."

Irina's smile faded but not entirely thinking about the reasons Jack had chosen these shirts to save. The UCLA sweatshirts and t-shirts she understood because she worked there, as well as her Georgetown ones but these… her smile turned curious.

"I mean, I remember vaguely, you wearing them around the house when I was little; with the music blaring in the background while we cleaned on Saturdays." Sydney smiled widely thinking back to those days and laughing with her mother while they rocked out together.

"That's right." Irina laughed, smiling thinking about Sydney jumping around on the couch with her air guitar. "You always made me laugh singing along and playing your air guitar."

Sydney giggled deeply and blushed, "I remember Dad coming home from working and joining in. Teaching me how to slide across the floor in the kitchen on my knees like a rocker when you weren't watching." She laughed seeing Irina's mouth fall open in surprise.

"The knee holes in your overalls…" Irina realized where they'd come from now.

"Father daughter secret." Sydney shrugged. "He was so much fun then." Her smile turned wistful and Irina's heart sank at the terrible turn the father-daughter relationship had taken when she'd left.

"You guys went to a lot of concerts. I remember that." She smiled again, "I stayed at the Sloane's and made tents with Emily in the living room and we'd pretend we were at a concert like you."

Irina nodded sadly, thinking of her fallen friend and the events surrounding her death as Sydney placed the last shirt back on the pile.

"That's why Dad probably kept them. For the memories surrounding them. It's weird that after twenty years, they still smell like you." She smiled up at her mother and Irina's eyes began filling with tears and she smiled in return, blinking them back. She picked up the Metallica t-shirt and tossed it back to Sydney whose eyebrows furrowed in question.

"You can have it." Irina smiled, "Or any other you want. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere," She reaffirmed for Sydney. "And they're all back in style again, are they not?" She laughed and Sydney nodded with tears in her eyes, taking the shirt in her hands and looking it over and staring at her mother behind it.

"Thank you." Sydney smiled shyly, reaching forward and quickly pulling Irina to her in a big hug as they sat on the floor.

"You're welcome." Irina kissed her hairline and held her a moment longer before letting her go again to resume looking through the Chest.

They found Sydney's Christening dress and the outfit she came home from the hospital in, her first shoes and clay handprint from Kindergarten she gave her 'Mommy' on Mother's Day when she was five. Her Baby Book with one blonde curl taped inside that Irina had saved after Sydney's first hair cut before her hair turned dark. Her first report card, the tiny ballet shoes and tutu she wore when she was the Snowflake whirlwind. So many of Sydney's things were kept in her mother's Hope Chest and sitting here now with her mother for the first time going through them, she realized yet again, to save all these things, what an incredible mother Irina had been and still was.

* * *

**_*Love Is A Battlefield*_**

When Jack, Lena, Vaughn, Weiss and Julian entered the house an hour later they were greeted to blasting music running rampant through the house. Irina and Sydney had all their favorite old songs playing on random.

The current tune was from Sydney's _Pat Benatar: Greatest Hits Collection._

"Oh, I love Pat Benatar." Weiss smiled moving his arms grooving along with the music. Vaughn laughed and crashed backwards onto the sofa while Julian put the pizzas and beer in the kitchen.

"I had no idea you were a fan, Jack." Vaughn snickered and Jack threw him a death glare.

"I'm not. Irina was and apparently still is." Jack creased his eyebrows and smiled at the thought. "_Irina!_" He yelled up the steps, setting Lena on the floor in the Living Room and watching as she immediately began crawling towards him and the steps, her new favorite place to climb. _"Sydney?"_ He pulled her back from the bottom step and watched as Lena came right back with determination written all over her face to go up the steps. "_Irina!_" He yelled again over the music, watching his baby rapidly scale the steps, standing close behind her so she couldn't fall.

Irina appeared at the top of the steps and his heart skipped a beat seeing what she was wearing. She smiled brightly at them and knelt to scoop up her baby who was smiling proudly for making it to the top.

"Hello, Sweetheart." Irina smiled at Jack, sharing a knowing glance at seeing his reaction to her shirt and then Sydney's when she came to stand beside her.

His mind had flown back to the last time he saw her in that shirt in his mind, the last day he saw her before she 'died.' She had been cleaning the house wearing that same shirt and a pair of jeans, he kissed her 'goodbye' and left on his mission not to see her again for another twenty years.

"Irina! _AC/DC!_" Weiss shouted enthusiastically when he saw her shirt as she came down the stairs carrying Lena. "I love them! Where did you get that?"

"Sydney said you were a fan." Irina laughed, kissing Lena on the head and inhaling her baby scent.

"Oh God! And Syd, Metallica!" Weiss saw Sydney's as well. "Seriously, where did you get these?" He fingered the material on Sydney's sleeve, "This is vintage classic stuff here!"

"Hey, watch it!" Irina scolded him and laughed, "Look who you're calling _vintage_ and _classic!_"

"They're Mom's. She and my dad used to go to all these concerts when I was little." Sydney smiled, wrapping her arm around Jack's waist and leaning into him when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders with a smile. She was obviously happy about going through the Hope Chest with her mother. "Aren't they great?"

"They're amazing! I know people who would sell their right arm to have either one of those!" Weiss shook his head and Julian watched him with amusement not really getting '_why_' old t-shirts were so '_amazing_.'

"She has a whole stack of them upstairs." Sydney smiled.

"You do?" Weiss's head whipped around so fast to Irina she burst out laughing.

"Yes. Jack saved all of them it seems." Irina's eyes moved to her husbands with nothing but love. She would ask him about why he saved them all, later. "I have another _AC/DC_ one up stairs if you would like it? I can't guarantee it will fit you, though." She looked back to Weiss and smiled seeing their incredible size difference.

"Yes! I would love it! Point me in the direction!" He smiled excitedly.

"Ok," Irina motioned for him to follow her upstairs, kissing Jack's cheek on the way by, "Follow me."

"You aren't going to believe this…" Irina announced, completely red and obviously laughing hysterically on the inside stepped into the kitchen a few minutes later to join everyone else getting their dinner out of the pizza box and starting in on the beer.

"_Wahoo!_" Weiss stepped into the doorway with a huge smile just after her and everyone literally burst into hysterics with beer being spit all over looking at him wearing the green _AC/DC_ shirt five times too small that had clung to Irina's curves and now drastically rode up Weiss's torso and exposing his bellybutton.

"_Oh my God, Eric!_ You look like a stuffed sausage!" Vaughn grunted between laughs. "Oh my God!" He burst into laughter again holding his sides looking at his friend in the tiny shirt standing next to Irina.

"I don't care! I love this shirt! She gave it to me and I am keeping it!" Weiss smiled proudly, smoothing his hands over the fabric rolling up his waistline.

"Well for God-sake, don't wear it out in public!" Vaughn had tears in his eyes.

"Oh, where's the camera?" Sydney moved to the counter, wiping at the tears in the corners of her eyes from laughing so hard she was crying.

* * *

"Hello Beautiful." Jack walked up behind Irina in the Laundry Room as she folded Lena's tiny clothes, moving her hair aside and kissing her neck a couple hours later. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder and pressed her against the machines with a smile.

"Hi, yourself." Irina smiled happily, matching two little socks. "Where are the kids?"

"They went to get ice cream." He smiled deviously and started kissing his way up her neck, "Weiss wore the shirt you gave him." He laughed against her skin and she did, too thinking about big man in the tiny shirt.

"What about Lena?" She inquired, folding her daughter's tiny Onzies now and tilting her head to the side to give him better access.

"Went with them. Sydney volunteered to take her." His mouth closed slowly over her flesh as his fingers moved to pull the collar of her t-shirt down slightly.

"That was nice of her." Irina closed her eyes and smiled when she felt his tongue dart out and brush her skin under her ear. "Very thoughtful…"

**_*Back in Black*_**

"Mmhmm." Jack hummed against her skin as his hand snaked under her shirt to caress the soft skin of her abdomen, his hips pinning her to the washing machine from behind.

Both gasped when they felt the rinse cycle start to spin and Jack immediately kicked his leg out, hitting the room's door and sending it slamming shut.

His hand slid down her abs and beneath the front of her pants and panties, pressing with his flat palm against her heated body and pulling her against him as he pushed her forward.

Irina gasped and rolled her head back when she felt his other hand slide beneath her bra and flick her already aching peak.

"The spin cycle only lasts five minutes, Jack." She warned him of their urgency in this matter as she bucked her ass back and into his hardening member, straining against his own jeans as her hands went to work on her jeans button and zipper.

"Well then," He turned her quickly, pulling her towards him and crushing her mouth with a searing kiss. "We'd better hurry." He smiled pulling her shirt up over-head and throwing it behind him watching with lust filled eyes as she shook out her long mane. His eyes traveling her body's length and staring at her gorgeous form, and then reaching out to trace the contours of her black bra. "Appropriate for the song playing." He smiled having put it on purposely and they both laughed hearing the lyrics from the stereo coming through the door. The last time they heard this song together, in this room doing the very same thing...was the day he left on his mission in 1981 and came home to her funeral.

"Oh yes, Baby, I'm back…in black." Irina smiled dangerously and dropped her jeans, leaving her to stand in front of him in only her black bra and panties. Her fingers went to her underwear, thumbs looping in the fabric and she slowly began pushing them down maintaining eye contact with him the entire length of her body.

Jack wasted no time and moved quickly, throwing his arm across the top of the washer and dryer effectively clearing it of all clothes.

Irina looked down at the mess of clothes scattered across the laundry room floor now.

"You're going to refold all of those." She looked up to Jack with one eyebrow narrowed, slightly pissed, yet completely turned on by his eagerness. His mouth crushed into hers while his hands dug into her naked hips, lifting her and dropping her on top of the washing machine, separating her legs with his body.

His hand immediately moving to stroke her as his own pelvis vibrated against the washing machine causing them both to moan against each other at the sensations the vibrations were creating through them.

"Too many clothes, Jack." Irina greedily ripped his shirt off between heated kisses while his hands moved up to remove her bra. When she accomplished the task of exposing his chest she trailed her tongue along his collarbone while her fingers went to work releasing his cock from the captivity of his jeans.

She lifted her legs around him and used her feet to slide his pants down his legs as far as she could reach before Jack took over and quickly stepped out of them, kicking them violently behind him.

His mouth latching onto one of her brown peaks, rolling her nipple between his teeth and scraping it by pulling away and sending a shiver through Irina and another moan of pleasure. He moved his right hand down her stomach and across one thigh before dipping into her folds once more, finding them sopping wet from the teasing of the spin cycle and his fingers slid easily inside her core.

Irina bit her lip and threw her head back, closing her eyes as Jack stroked her G-spot mercilessly knowing she was close to eruption. His hand lying against the top of the washer vibrating against her heightened flesh adding to the intoxicating experience.

Jack lifted her left leg over his shoulder, dragging his fingers slowly across her muscular flesh and rolling her slightly back on her ass. Irina let go of his shoulder with one hand to lean back on, exposing more of herself to him and giving him an excellent view of her naked body shaking and quivering with the movements of the washer and her oncoming orgasm.

His own lust built to almost unbearable heights as his fingers slipped back and forth inside her tightness hearing her little mews of building pleasure, her rapid breathing. His thumb moved to press against her engorged clit and she let out a sharp hiss as her face contorted before shaking violently and biting her lip trying to keep from screaming out as she came.

Jack's hand was instantly soaked with her cum as her muscles constricted madly around his offending fingers that continued to stroke her. He felt the washing machine's spin cycle begin to slow and rapidly turned the knob backwards.

"Oh no, you don't!" He cursed the machine, starting another spin cycle not finished with their fun. Jack moved his hand to cup Irina behind the neck and brought his mouth to hers, both sweltering depths eager to welcome the other's languid caresses.

His hands groped and felt their way over her shoulders already gleaning with a thin layer of sweat in the hot room filled with dryer heat and the scent of Downey and sex. Moving towards her hips, he pulled them forward, digging his thumbs and fingers into her flesh until her ass rested just at the edge. Irina let her other arm fall back to support her upper body, leaning back at an angle while Jack lifted her right leg up and over his other shoulder.

Her body bent in a complete V as her husband looked her over greedily with a smile before stepping forward, caressing his rock hard shaft and teasing it against her dripping core. He lined his head up with her awaiting entrance and paused to look Irina in the eye, waiting for her nod and then thrust rapidly into her, squinting his eyes as he filled her completely and her muscles shook around his member, desperately trying not to lose it in the first thrust with the washing machine spinning against his upper thighs.

His depth on the first thrust had stolen Irina's breath and her fingers of both hands curled up under her palms digging into her skin painfully. Jack relished in his depth and craved to be deeper as he pulled out and jerked back into her, pulling her hips into his and forcing Irina to go down on her elbows as her body began to slide off the machine towards his.

"Ah, God…you feel…amazing." He groaned thrusting into her and making them both pant. His hands were gripping her hips again and again pulling her continuously forcing her to slide forward and Irina laughed at the tiny space now slippery with sweat she was left to try and hold onto.

"_Jack."_ She half moaned swallowing it and closing her eyes feeling her body ripe with electricity and sprinting towards ecstasy as he pounded her deep. She pushed herself back up to her hands, forcing her body more upright with her face a few inches from his. Their hot breath and moans mixing in the open air and she leaned forward to bite his lower lip, her hot tongue dragging across its length and earning a whimper from Jack as he drove them into oblivion. "_Deeper._" She hissed eagerly grabbing his member with her internal muscles and squeezing him hard with every thrust earning her responsive groans.

Jack grabbed her legs, moving his hands to her calves just below her knees and spreading her legs out into a V before him, her toes pointed towards the ceiling and abs constricting to keep her that position while his body thrust into her more deeply. His thighs smacking against the washer and thudding with every thrust and he felt himself about to blow with the intensity of his depth inside Irina with this position coupled with their vibrating bodies.

"_Jeesuz fuck_! Irina…oh God!" He groaned in pleasure as he began chanting, "Oh yes! _Fuck yes!"_ He grunted trying to keep his eyes open and about to burst as he watched the spot where their bodies became one, seeing his shaft slick with her juices sliding in and out of her crux rapidly, the sight alone driving him into madness at being able to see their juncture.

Irina was now gripping the front edge of the washer with her hands, biting her lower lip and swallowing her moans of pleasure that threatened to steal her breath. Jack's depth was painful and yet pleasurable all at the same time, creating a friction of forces within her and igniting all her senses.

"_Oh, fuck yes! Mmmm_," He moaned loudly, "_Fuck Irina! Yes! Yes! Yes!_" He pounded into her wildly, his thighs thudding into the cold steel in rapid succession.

"Mom? Dad?" Sydney called out as they entered the front door but it was lost in the raging music blaring across the stereo. "What the?" She looked around, while the others pushed into the house behind her smiling at the song ringing throughout the house. "What is that noise?" She shifted Lena on her hip and they all listened intently to the rapid thudding they heard coming through the music.

"I'm going to put the ice cream in the freezer." Weiss smiled jamming out through the Living Room and into the kitchen carrying the bag of groceries. "What the…" He froze in front of the closed Laundry Room door and Julian ran into him from behind with the sudden stop, both staring at the door with wide-eyes as they heard the repeated metal thud and Jack's very distinct moans of pleasure.

"_Fuck Irina! Yes! Yes! Yes!"_

"_H-o-l-y-s-h-i-t…"_ Weiss whispered dumbfounded and then jerked when he heard Irina's sharp scream of pleasure.

"What is that…" _'Noise'_ died on Sydney's lips when she and Vaughn stepped into the kitchen seconds later, freezing in front of the Laundry Room door where the offending noise was coming from. She instantly paled and her eyes went wide not believing what she was hearing or the way the shadows were moving coming out from under the door.

"_Oh my God…"_ She whispered horrified and her mouth fell open when she heard her father groan followed by a rapid series of,

_"Fuck Irina! My God…you're amazing! Oh God! Yes! Yes! Yes!"_ between his apparent thrusts.

"_Find a happy place! Find a happy place!" _Sydney closed her eyes and covered one ear as her other arm was occupied holding the baby, chanting to herself and shaking her head.

"I'd say Jack's found a happy place." Weiss snickered and then rapidly covered his mouth trying to cover his laughter as Julian and Vaughn began to lose it beside him with Sydney and Weiss's comments to the situation.

"Oh God!" Sydney looked at him repulsed, "We should…I don't…I can't…stay here! Let's go!" She yell whispered motioning with her arm and practically running from the room to gather some things for Lena, planning on taking her sister away from this 'place' of disturbing parental behavior for the night and not wanting to hear the 'climax.' "Now!" She turned and threw glaring eyes at the other three who were planted in front of the door listening to her parents going at it during the spin cycle. "_Now!_" She stamped her foot, "Let's go, now!"

"But I live here…" Julian whispered trying to stifle his laughter at the situation and Sydney's reaction. He found the situation entirely humorous and she was horrified.

"You're staying with me! Now move it!" Sydney hissed and turned on her heel, a look of absolute mortification crossing her face as they all heard another loud groan coming from behind the door.

Weiss set the tub of ice cream on the kitchen island and he, Julian and Vaughn practically tripped over one another and their laughter as they walked quietly out of the kitchen.

Sydney ran upstairs, grabbed some things for Lena and came flying down the steps. Her horror turned to evil giggles of disbelief at the situation and she decided to horrify her parents in return.

"Here!" She handed Vaughn the baby and grabbed the notepad by the phone, quickly scribbling a note and throwing the entire pad of paper into the kitchen not wanting to go back in there hearing the groaning and pounded of the washing machine coming more rapidly she knew they didn't have much time to _escape_ before the _big finish_. "_Go! Go! Go!_" She pushed the men out the door in front of her and they all took off down the driveway laughing hysterically.

"How can you laugh about this?" Sydney turned her death glare on Julian as they drove down the freeway and he and Weiss were still laughing hysterically. Vaughn was driving and trying to hold back his laughter seeing how distraught Sydney was. "They're your parents, too!"

"Yes. But I am recently adopted. Unlike you, I was not created by such _vigorous activities_ between the two." He responded seriously then broke into another fit of laughter, grabbing his sides seeing Sydney's face burn bright red and Weiss fell off to the side with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.

Jack pumped furiously into Irina, his legs burning and his groin about to explode with each thrust forward. He grunted loudly, and flew over the edge hissing in a sharp breath and screaming Irina's name as he emptied his seed into her.

The warm gush exploding inside her sent Irina after him and she struggled to keep upright on trembling arms while he continued to pump into her. All the blood had left her legs while they were suspended in the air and were now numb as her body convulsed, her mind and sight lost in the dark ecstasy of nirvana.

Jack slowly lowered her legs panting hard and hung his head, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, burying his face into her wild hair and against her sweaty skin as they came down, trembling together.

"That was…_whoa_." He smiled and then laughed when she did, kissing her head as the spin cycle began to slow again. "_Back In Black,_ indeed." He laughed thinking about the orgasm that had sent him into blackness with its power ripping like a tsunami through him. "Why haven't we done this in here earlier?" His chest heaved, hands stroking Irina's hair down her back, her legs moving to wrap around his waist pulling him in.

"Mmmm." Irina's only response was some incoherent mumble against his sweaty chest, too exhausted to talk but smiling through heavy eyes of sedation.

They held each other in silence a moment thinking about the 'last time' and just now, both knowing without saying anything that is where both minds and hearts were right now. In the past and the present.

"I love you, Irina." Jack whispered, pulling her more tightly to his chest, rubbing his nose against the hair just above her ear, so thankful to have her 'home.'

"I love you, too, Jack." She moved her head to kiss the spot above his pounding heart and then tilted her head up to look at him with glistening eyes. "I love you." She smiled and a single tear fell down her cheek in happiness.

Jack smiled in return and cupped her face, kissing away the tear and then slowly, with eyes locked to hers, descended his lips to hers, kissing her softly and tenderly showing her his love.

"Why did you keep these shirts? Out of everything, why these?" Irina finally asked, still locked in his arms, her legs holding him to her as she searched his eyes.

"They were all collected in happy times." Jack kissed her neck as he spoke nervously. "I made love to you in each one of them during or after each concert." He laughed into her skin when she did. "You always wore them around the house, your _everyday_ shirts. They were what I felt was the most '_you._"

Irina palmed the sides of his face, bringing his eyes to look at hers.

"I knew your choice in music couldn't have been a lie, because I had come home so many times to find you dancing with Sydney, listening to these bands. It wasn't for my benefit." Jack admitted softly, trailing his hands down her naked sides. "It was the one and only thing I knew to be true of the woman I really married. That whoever '_Irina_' was, she liked the music '_Laura_' listened to."

"I totally knew they were going to get it on the moment Jack saw her at the top of the stairs in that tight _AC/DC_ t-shirt." Weiss rapidly breathed out between fits of laughter. "You just know there had to be history with that shirt with the raging torrent of electricity that surged through the room when he saw her." He couldn't stop laughing and was now banging his head against the back of Sydney's seat while everyone in the car exploded in laughter, save Sydney who pinching the bridge of her nose and Lena who was looking back and forth between the two men in the backseat laughing themselves to death with a confused look on her face. "And then to have _Back In Black_ blaring on the stereo!" He threw himself back against the seat, his sides hurting painfully form laughing so hard with the thought.

That thought, finally cracked through Sydney's _squickiness_ and made her giggle, still burning red with embarrassment but finding humor in it and shaking her head at her crazy parents.

Irina's eyes filled with tears and closed the distance between them, kissing him softly.

"We better get dressed. The kids…" Irina whispered against his lips when their kiss ended, her smile lighting her face as she brushed her nose with his.

"Right." Jack smiled and gripped her hips, helping her off the washer. They hunted for their clothing among the clean clothes and laughed trying to sort out the pieces.

"I mean it Mr. Bristow. You're folding all of these again!" Irina laughed teasing him and thrusting the pile of clothes at Jack she had just finished folding before he threw them violently to the floor in the moment of passion. She leaned forward as their joined arms encircled the bundle of clothes and kissed him one last time before opening the door. "I'm going to get something to clean off the washer." She smiled exiting the door with Jack on her heels and he ran into her back when she stopped abruptly.

"What?" Jack asked and then followed her line of sight to the plastic bag with the ice cream carton sticking out of it on the counter in front of them. "_Oh shit…"_ His shoulders slumped immediately.

"Sydney?" Irina called out tentatively frozen in place and unsure if they were alone or not. "Julian?" She took a step forward towards the ice cream. "Hello!" She called out again.

"I don't think they're here." Jack choked out watching Irina remove the ice cream from the bag while he set the clothes on the island.

"Well, they obviously _were_…" Irina furrowed her eyebrows trying to stop the smug smile coming to her lips seeing the melted ice cream and dipping her fingers through it, sucking on her fingers with a dangerous sexiness in her eyes when she turned to Jack. "And left in a hurry."

"Irina! This isn't funny!" Jack hissed at her, feeling his groin tighten again watching her suck her fingers. He reached over across the island to the pad of notepaper upside down with pages flipped back. "_Oh great_! They left a note!" He groaned seeing Sydney's handwriting he thrust the paper at his wife, "You read it! I don't think I can handle reading what she is going to say."

Irina giggled and finished sucking her fingers of the ice cream before taking the offending paper.

"Dear Over Sexed Parental Units," Irina started reading and immediately began laughing at Sydney's note. "Next time you plan on abusing our washing machine," Irina's words were laced with deep laughter as she read on, "I suggest that you make certain your children will not arrive home to hear and see shadow plays…"

"_Oh God…"_ Jack slapped his hand over his eyes, resting on his elbows listening.

"…of your laundry room activities! We are no longer equal in the '_Squick' Department_!" Irina turned red with laughter when Jack looked up confused and mortified. "Due to the lasting images and sounds the two of you left me with this evening, I have taken Lena and Julian home with me to save them from further exposure to this mentally hazardous environment!"

Jack groaned and slumped his head down onto his folded arms lying on the table.

"Sincerely, Hope that this _never_ happens again," Irina stifled her laughter as she read the last, speaking in a serious tone, "Sydney, Julian, Lena, Eric and Vaughn…P.S. This session of 'doing laundry' has left me requiring severe amounts of Cerebral Clorox, Mom!"

"Cerebral Clorox?" Jack asked beneath his arms.

"For bleaching of the mind, Sweetheart." Irina patted his forearm with a smile, trying not to laugh.

**_*Crash*_**

"Well, isn't our daughter clever." Jack lifted his head and sighed, smiling when Irina wickedly dipped her fingers in the melting Vanilla once more, sucking and licking them tantalizingly.

"I think she's brilliant. She just gave us a whole evening alone." She licked up the side of one finger to catch a flowing drip, staring at Jack with her seductive dark eyes. "In an empty house…" She sucked on the tips, swirling her tongue around, "With melting ice cream."

Jack swallowed hard feeling himself harden again watching her teasing, knowing he was putty in her hands. Irina picked up his hand, dipped his finger into the melting cream and then sucked it into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip and making him groan.

"Absolutely brilliant." Jack whispered and grabbed Irina forcefully, crashing their mouths and bodies, making her laugh against his lips as he kissed her. "Mmm…Vanilla Bean, my favorite." He smiled.

* * *

"Your parents are _insanely in love_." Vaughn smiled with a hint of awe watching Sydney climb into bed next to him with Lena already asleep between them. He was propped up on an elbow, his head in his hand and the other hand softly stroking the hair above Lena's ear.

"Well, the _insane_ part is right!" Sydney smiled shaking her head whispering as she slid beneath the sheets, loving the sight before her. She mirrored Vaughn's position and her free hand gently brushed the soft skin of Lena's cheek with a smile. "I can't believe them." She sighed and then smiled, stifling a giggle and then nodding, "Actually, I can! They are crazy!" Her head tilted down and kissed the downy hair covering her sister's head with a smile, snuggling closer. "They are happy and '_insanely in love._" She shook her head finally agreeing with a smile remembering her talk with her mother.

"So am I." Vaughn whispered smiling in the moonlight, his fingers brushing with Sydney's as his eyes locked onto her, dipping his own head to kiss Lena's little head with a smile.

Sydney's heart melted with his words and tenderness with the baby.

"You're going to be a great father." Sydney smiled, linking her fingers with Vaughn's over Lena's belly gently.

"And you're going to be an amazing mother." He smiled, leaning over Lena and kissing her gently.

* * *

Hollywood, California

"Are you nervous?" Jack whispered to Irina, taking her hand, as they took their seats and waited for the film to begin.

They'd just spent an hour on the red carpet in front of the Kodak Theatre for the premiere of the Part I. of _Absolution_ where thousands of people waited outside to catch sight of the Imperial Family and the massive cast portraying them in the epic film.

Jack's hands were sweating at the prospect of seeing _their life_ projected on the big screen for all-the world to see. No one in their' family had yet to see the completed film which only added to the tension.

"Yes." Irina admitted softly feeling her mouth go dry as she looked around to all the people in the theatre and the massive screen in front of her. She actually felt nauseous with the thought of watching it now.

She was thankful they were sitting in the back-row so that if she needed to suddenly excuse herself to vomit, hundreds of eyes wouldn't be watching her leave. Sydney was sitting to her right, Jack to her left and everyone else filled in the seats beside.

Jack saw her visibly shaking and ran circles over the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Hey," He squeezed her hand gently, "It's going to be okay." He swallowed hard, hoping he was sounding convincing and knew he failed when she flashed him a smile that he was busted. "Ok, so I'm nervous, too." He lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it softly, "But I trust J.J. and he promised, he'd get it right."

"I know." Irina sighed loudly, blowing out a held in nervous breath looking over at the Producer and Director she had trusted to tell her story. "It's just…"

"I know…" Jack smiled, leaning over and brushing her lips with his in the darkening theatre. She didn't have to say it, he was feeling it, too; the anxiety.

"I can't believe that Collin Farrell is playing your dad!" Vaughn smiled at Sydney peering down a few rows ahead of them to see the handsome young Irishman.

"I think Bridget Moynahan is the perfect choice for your mom!" Weiss smiled from ear to ear eyeing the beautiful brunette on Farrell's arm. "She was so hot in _Coyote Ugly_ and so scary! Just like your mom!"

Seeing Irina's eyes suddenly dart to his hearing the comment he added, "Used to be! _Used to be scary,_ is what I meant, Empress!" He smiled when she did, laughing softly and turning her attention back to Jack.

"This is all really weird." Sydney looked around as if she were dreaming. "It doesn't feel real."

"Well, aren't you excited to see how it all began?" Weiss peered around Sophia to look at Sydney. "I know I am."

"Me too." Sophia smiled brightly. "It's all very exciting and Collin Farrell is _so_ cute!" She winked at Weiss_. 'If he could gush about Bridget, she could gush about Collin!'_

The lights suddenly began to dim and the audience hushed to silence as the first words on the screen appeared.

**_The following film is based upon factual events._**

_***Tania***_

Jack felt Irina's fingers tighten around his when the first notes of the music began to play and the images of Red Square with '_Moscow 1961_' subtitled across the bottom.

Lena Olin's voice came across at the obvious narrator of this story, like films before such as _Chocolat_ where the character tells the story while it's happening though as looking back. Lena was speaking as Irina, telling her story and using direct quotes out of Irina's book, her own words of the events and giving insight to her feelings and hinting at things to come.

The winter was bitter cold and Russians were huddling in their winter jackets and fur hats as they moved through the Square.

_Two formidable men, one slightly older, with an air of authority and confidence sit on a bench in front of St. Basil's Cathedral, obviously KGB. _

_The first man is rubbing his hands together blowing on them for warmth in the cold and his breath is visible as he scans the crowd gathered in front of the gorgeous colorful monument with its onion shaped domes. _

_"How is, our Little Thief, today?" His eyes light up as he speaks softly in Russian, gathering the attention of the other man. _

_Their eyes focusing in on a little girl about six years old with long raven hair, her clothes are ratty and patched together and she is obviously the child of a peasant even in this Communist society, times are hard in Russia._

_The beautiful little girl with the dark hair and eyes weaves through the crowd of people and with her little hands, easily pick-pockets one unsuspecting person after another. The two men watch for a few minutes. _

_Little Irina was moving stealthily in and out of the crowds. _

_"Irina never ceases to amaze me. She was caught yesterday but started crying, putting on quite the show and the man ended up buying her candy anyway. You should have seen her little triumphant smile when she emerged from the candy shop with her chocolates." He chuckled obviously impressed. "So…what do you think?" The younger man turns with a small smile looking for approval from the other, older man who's facial expression is glacial as he watches the girl. "I think she's a natural." _

_"So it seems." The older answers in a rough deep voice. "Keep an eye on her. If she gets caught again…let me know and see that she doesn't get into trouble. I've no doubt she'll be selected for the program." _

_"And if her parents refuse?" The younger man drags his gaze from the older man back to the young Irina. _

_"Remind them this is an honor to serve the 'Mother Land,' and they have no choice. They know this." He nodded resolutely stealing once last glance at Irina before disappearing into the sea of people. _

_"Oh little Duchess, I've no doubt you'll do Mother Russia proud." The younger man smiled, watching Irina run towards the far edge of the Square towards a tall little boy and another dark headed girl._

"Oh my God, she's adorable." Weiss whispered with a smile watching the little actress onscreen deliver hilarious lines that had turned the somber crowd into smiling fools seeing Irina's feisty stubbornness rear it's head in her negotiations with Mikhail and Katya over what candy to buy.

"And she was just like that!" Mikhail whispered across them with a big smile, watching a childhood memory play before him. "Always so bossy! Her way or no way!"

Everyone laughed softly at his comments and Irina rolled her eyes smiling.

Lena came on again, as she would throughout the film describing these life-changing moments as they happened.

Time skipped ahead a bit in the film to Irina as a fifteen year old girl, running her heart out and being chosen for the Olympic Team only to be removed by the KGB. Her growing relationship between she and Mikhail unfolding before them onscreen had Jack, Irina, Vaughn, Sydney, Mikhail and Bella all chewing nervously on the inside of their cheeks fearing what everyone else was thinking.

When their younger selves began kissing and stripping their clothes off to make love for the first time, Jack swallowed hard remembering Irina's admission that Mikhail was her first and only other man she'd made love with. He was more then thankful that J.J. shot just the beginning of their love scene and moved on to the day when she gave him the watch, and said 'goodbye.'

Irina's graduation from the Academy came next and her last conversation with her mother face-to-face brought tears to everyone's eyes at how emotional it was for both to say 'goodbye' not knowing when they'd see each other again.

The entire scene was that much more heart wrenching knowing in reality, it would be their last. Irina couldn't stop the flow of tears at hearing that conversation again, word for word, just as it had been said on that day.

Sydney reached over and took her mother's other free hand and gave it a small squeeze with raging tears in her own eyes.

The next part of the film had everyone smiling and then laughing hysterically again as the first interaction between Jack and Irina played out.

_"I didn't catch your name?" He gave her another infectious playboy smile. _

_"That's because I didn't give it to you."_

"Oh my God, this is hilarious!" Vaughn whispered to Sydney, laughing at how much this young Irina reminded him of Sydney when they first met.

_"Well hello, Iowa. Fancy running into you here." Jack flashed his bright smile as he came to stand be-side her, looking at the enormous African elephant on display. _

_"I could have you arrested for stalking me." _

_"I'm not stalking you." He put his hands up in mock surrender. "Seems that fate has decided to keep intertwining our lives' paths." _

Kendall sat completely entranced watching the relationship unfold. He had no idea that it had been Jack pursuing Irina and the comedic details of their first meetings.

The details were exactly as Irina had described to Sydney, and Jack couldn't stop looking at the 'Irina' onscreen with fascination, seeing 'her side' of the interaction for the first time. The 'looks' and 'moments' from her he had obviously missed when he wasn't looking; 'looks' and 'moments' that were important enough from Irina's point of view to put in her journals and then her book, which made it onscreen.

The kiss against Irina's apartment door created an audible gasp through the audience.

_"Your eyes are the most beautiful things I've ever seen." He smiled brightly, in awe and turned on his heel. _

_"Goodnight, Iowa." _

_Just as he hit the top of the staircase she yelled softly, "Laura…"_

_"What?" He paused half-stride._

_"My name…is Laura." She smiled shyly._

_"Laura." Jack repeated it. "Goodnight, Laura." He smiled brightly speaking softly._

'And so it had begun…' They all thought collectively watching the first time she introduced herself as 'Laura' to Jack. The name sounding so foreign to all of them now knowing Irina as '_Irina_.'

_"Goodnight, Jack." _

They watched Irina enter her apartment, close the door and slide down the back of it, resting her head back looking toward the sky.

_"Oh God, what have I done?"_ She whispered with obvious concern for letting this man into her life, quickly replaced by a smile in the dark, thinking of him and his kiss as she traced her lips where his kiss had been.

Jack's stomach was doing flip-flops having obviously never seen her reaction moments after he left her that night. He glanced over and saw the tears filling Irina's eyes and he brought her hand to his mouth, kissing it and smiling when she looked at him.

**_*Crimson and Clover*_**

The first time Irina and Jack made love began to play and Sydney was thanking her lucky stars when it was cut short of showing all the graphic details of her parents first sexual encounter, even if it was two actors on the screen, they were portraying real events in her parent's life.

'It was still hot…really hot' and intense and left just about everyone blushing and falling in love with the couple onscreen falling in love.

Just watching 'Jack and Irina' onscreen making love, one could feel the heat coming from them and the real-life couple watching with bashful smiles and playful hands.

The first morning of waking up together followed and showed Jack studiously studying her face as she slept with a huge smile on his face, the words of the song playing over the scene matching perfectly with his thoughts, _'I don't hardly know her, but I think I could love her…_' J.J couldn't have timed the words any better.

They had danced to that song the night before which led them to start making out and then stripping each other of clothing while still dancing before Jack lay her down on his bed, thus beginning their illustrious love affair.

_"Good morning, Beautiful."_ Jack smiled onscreen to the beautiful woman waking up beside him, his fingers reaching out to stroke her hair behind her ear when she smiled and closed her eyes again.

Sydney's heart melted seeing her parents so happy, teasing each other as they lay in bed, her mother draped over her father's chest for the first time ever. Seeing something that was so second nature now, and knowing it had all begun on that morning.

Kendall and just about every other man in the theatre were sweating in their tuxedos after watching the sweltering love scene and seeing the 'hotness' factor of their relationship from the beginning.

_"Orders from Moscow are to maintain your current relationship." _Her handler blew out his cigarette smoke in Irina's face with an evil smile sitting across from her at the table in the hotel room they were meeting in. He shoved the folder on Jack towards her while Irina's eyebrows rose curiously.

_"Jack Bristow is your mark." He inhaled again sitting back and watching her eyes go wide as she flipped open the folder. "You're not the only one lying in your relationship, I see." He laughed menacingly when her eyes darted back to his from Jack's picture. _

_"He's CIA?" Irina rapidly scanned the file ignoring his comments and putting on her mask of indifference. _

_"I informed them this might be a terrible mistake given the fact you willingly went into this relationship with him before knowing he was CIA…Before knowing he was a potential mark…This won't be a mistake will it, Comrade Derevko?" He cocked his head at her, challenging her. _

_"Of course not." Irina snapped the folder shut, standing with an air of regal defiance. "Jack Bristow was nothing but someone to pass the time with while I awaited my assignment." She flipped her hair and shrugged like she didn't care. "I know my job."_

This time, it was Irina who squeezed Jack's hand, looking at him with apologetic eyes for the scene unfolding, even if she knew that he knew, she had said those things 'to keep him' as her mark. Because he was…_so much more_ to her than someone simply to pass the time with.

_"Because if it becomes a problem…" He hinted at what would happen as he stubbed out his cigarette, 'something terrible.'_

_"It won't be a problem." Irina said determinedly. "I'll have something for you in two weeks." She threw at him hoping to quall his anxiety over her relationship with Jack._

The film then went on to show the progression of their relationship and the introduction of Sloane and Emily as well as Cuvee.

When Jack proposed to Irina on the beach in Sydney, everyone was crying and laughing again on this emotional rollercoaster that was their life unfolding before them. And when it showed them on the sailboat in Sydney Harbor on her father's birthday, on their honeymoon, Sydney covered her eyes shaking her head laughing softly at her conception and origin of name.

Everyone burst into hysterics when Irina, shortly there after, informed Jack on screen she was pregnant, all of them realizing it was Sydney, obviously. Irina reached over and kissed Sydney's hair and then hand with love, making Sydney giggle and blush.

The rollercoaster continued with its ups and downs and went back to feeling like they'd been punched in the gut when Irina met with her handler to tell him she was pregnant and he hit her, _hard_ with the back of his hand across her face drawing blood.

Every male in the theatre, especially Jack, tensed feeling their blood boil at the bastard. Sydney's eyes filled with tears again watching her mother being abused for being pregnant with her.

_"You stupid whore! How could allow Satan to impregnate you!" He hit her again and Irina stood there taking it, tears forming in her eyes from the sting but she took the abuse, blinking the tears back as her tongue darted out to blood stinging her lips. "You will get an abortion immediately!" He fumed stalking around the room. "Moscow demands it!" _

_"I will not." Irina whipped her head back to him immediately and spoke quietly as if ashamed when he looked at her with furious eyes. "Jack knows about the baby. I didn't realize I was pregnant until too late…It will be suspicious and I'll have to undergo many tests, all of which I'm sure Jack will want to be there for, if I suddenly miscarry in my second trimester. They will find out I had an abortion…Jack will know…I can't risk it." She said defiantly hoping she was sounding convincing in her arguments and seeing his eyes open to the ideas she was putting forth. "It's also endangering my own health to abort the child at this stage."_

_"You should have thought about that before you got yourself knocked up!" He growled angrily raising his hand to hit her again and realizing she was already bleeding, he couldn't keep hitting her without leaving marks and raising questions. _

_"This child is not worth endangering my mission over." Irina ground out mercilessly on screen._

And the Irina of real life squeezed Sydney's fingers tightly, her own heart crushing hearing the words.

_"No, it is not! And if Moscow agrees to let you carry this demon spawn," He spit at her with venom, "You will be leaving it behind when your mission is completed. We have no use for bastard children of Satan in Russia." His cold eyes pierced hers, "Unless its for purposes of torture or experiment." _

He smiled evil like and everyone in the audience felt sick along with Irina on the screen.

The crying only continued as it showed Irina's emotional days of waiting and learning finally, that she was allowed to keep the baby. Her tear-filled, private conversations with her unborn child while she sat in the shower with the water running and profusely apologizing for being selfish, wanting to have a baby with Jack and leave him a reminder of that _their love was real_ when she was gone… apologizing to the baby for the day that would come when it would be motherless.

The Embassy dinner where she met with Mikhail was bittersweet in its foreshadowing of their lives to come.

_"I worry about…I'll always worry about you." Mikhail brushed her cheek with his fingers almost in a whisper already knowing she had fallen head over heels in love with Jack Bristow, her mark, from listening to her speak. _

_"I'll be okay. We both will." She wrapped her fingers around his on his face. "You'll see."_

The smiles and hysterical laughter came back once more with Irina in labor.

**_*Kung Fu Fighting*_**

_"I swear to God, if Jack isn't here for this I am going to castrate him!" She seethed panting through a contraction, gripping her enormous stomach and the bed rail with rage in her beautiful dark eyes._

_"Laura, you're scaring everyone." Emily whispered, taking a step back when she growled and the nurses approached cautiously. "You're scaring me!"_

_Irina threw her an evil glare through pursed lips until the contraction passed. _

_"Well, tell me exactly how pleasant I should be having a human being about to come out of my body through a very small hole when my motherfucking-bastard-sonofabitch husband isn't even here for me to yell at for doing this to me!" She rambled on with heated anger behind her every word and Emily paled. "I swear to God, if he makes me do this alone I am going to hunt him down and kill him slowly!"_

_"Laura, please. Try to calm down." Emily braved a step forward, moving the wet cold cloth back onto her friends forehead, "This isn't good for you or the baby to be so upset." _

_"I wouldn't be so upset if Jack were here but, no! He's off playing commando in the jungle somewhere!" Irina fumed._

_"Laura!" Emily's eyes widened in a silent warning and shock at her deranged friend. _

_"Selling airplane parts!" Irina added rather loudly, realizing what she'd said in her moment of hysteria. "Yes!" She glared at the pregnant woman in another bed across from her, "My husband sells airplane parts! Do you have a problem with that?" _

_"Laura!" Emily gripped Irina's hand over the bar, speaking sternly in hushed tones. "Stop it! You're scaring the shit out of everyone!" She nodded at the woman on the other side of the room now in tears. "It's like you're possessed and someone else is living in your body!" _

_"Someone else is living in my body!" Irina threw right back at her pointing to the massive lump of baby. "And I want it out! Now!" She screamed with the pressure a new contraction was putting on her. _

_"Alright Mrs. Bristow, breathe through it and we'll see how far along you've come." Her doctor, all too chipper came in and snapped on a pair of latex gloves while Irina cursed under her breath. _

_"Don't call me Mrs. Bristow! I am getting a divorce as soon as this is over with!" She spat through tight lips breathing out as he plunged his hand in to check her progress. _

_"Everyone says that but you won't. It's only a little pain and then its over." He smiled patronizingly at her. "You'll be fine; just relax."_

_"Relax? Listen Buddy," Irina sat up onto her elbows with fire in her eyes and Emily took step back again, "Until you've given birth or have a Volkswagon come out of your penis without any pain drugs don't you dare lecture me on pain or how I feel about my husband especially since you're one of' them! Relax?" She raised her hand and Emily grabbed her fist before it could strike, "Just get this baby out of me!"_

Everyone in the theatre erupted in laughter at how hysterical Irina was to watch including Jack.

Dixon, through his laughter, felt himself tearing up over Emily Sloane, a great woman, and the knowledge he took her life.

_"I'm sorry, Doctor." Emily looked at him sheepishly, "She's currently possessed by some demon!" She shot a look at Irina who was now glaring at her. _

_The doctor laughed and motioned for his nurses to prepare. _

_"It's alright. I'm used to the verbal abuse of first time mothers, though none up to this point have been so colorful." He smiled at Irina, which only made her more angry. "You're absolutely right, Mrs. Bristow, I have no authority to talk of childbirth pain when I've neither given birth or had a car come out of my penis." He laughed and Emily tried to stifle her own. "Though I have passed a kidney stone once."_

_"Not even close, Asshole!" Irina deadpanned in a voice that wasn't her own and sounded more like the Devil and Emily paled as if staring at a demon. _

_"Well then," The doctor smirked, wheeling up to the table, "On that note, lets get this baby out of you then. Its time to push." _

_"I'm here!" Jack burst into the doorway and took stock of the scene before him. "Laura, I'm so sorry." He moved towards her._

**_*Why Can't We Be Friends*_**

_"Stay the fuck away from me, you mean, mean man!" She looked at him like he was the most vile person on Earth. _

_"Sweetie-" He tried to step closer again and she threw her hand up to stop him._

_"I said…stay away from me! You're never going to touch me ever again! Do you hear me? Never!" She screamed at him and Jack blushed under the scrutiny of all the eyes and feeling out of place as to what to do. "You did this to me, Jonathan Bristow and then you just leave me here to finish it on my own! You sonofabitch!"_

_"Laura, I'm sorry. I got here as soon as I could." He took a step and then, immediately back again when he swore he saw steam coming out of her ears. _

_"I told you not to go in the first place!" She screamed back at him clearly in pain and Jack felt helpless. "Get your ass over here and hold my hand!" She winced painfully and Jack moved quickly to her side only to be pushed away. _

_"Stay away from me, I don't want you! Get out! Get out! Get out!" She screamed and flung her cup of ice chips at him and Jack threw his hands up in surrender, backing away slowly and leaving the room._

_"Alright, Laura, I need you to start pushing…the baby is crowning." The doctor instructed her with a smile, amused by the beautiful tyrant of a woman before him. _

_Jack braved her wrath and quickly took her hand, kissing her forehead. _

_"Jack, don't leave me!" Irina cried, reaching out to him and terrified now that she would have to do it alone. "Please, don't leave me!" _

_"I'm not leaving you, My Love. I'm right here!" He kissed her solidly on the mouth, wiping at her tears seeing her fear and feeling his own._

_"Push, Laura, push, push, push!" The doctor barked at her again and again and Jack winced from the pain his hand was in under her crushing grip. _

_"And we have a girl!" The doctor smiled, holding up baby Sydney for them to see and sweaty Irina with her hair in a messy ponytail immediately began crying along with her newborn daughter. Jack peppered her head with kisses and words of love, holding her hand as the doctor lay the screaming baby on Irina's abdomen and cleaned her off. _

_"We have a daughter." Irina's tears ran rampant down her cheeks. "She's so beautiful."_

_"Dad, you want to cut the cord?" The doctor passed Jack the scissors while Irina stroked Sydney's head trying to calm her baby down and utterly in shock that she was actually here. _

_The nurse came to take the baby to finish cleaning her off, weigh and measure her and Jack went with them while the doctor finished with Irina. When Jack came back in the room, he was carrying a tightly bundled Sydney who was crying hysterically and he was crying looking from the baby to his wife and back again. He put Sydney in her arms and they both cried as Irina held her daughter for the first time. _

_"Hello Baby Girl, don't cry. It's okay. Mommy's here… Shhh, it's okay." The baby's cries subsided with her mother's soft words and her tiny fingers curled tightly around Irina's. "Oh, Jack, she's so beautiful." Her eyes welled with tears again and she held back a sob. _

_"Just like her mother." He leaned over kissing the top of the baby's head with a teary smile and then slowly kissed Irina. "I love you, Laura. Thank you for our beautiful baby girl." _

_Irina started crying again and kissed him back, "No, Jack. Thank you…I love you so much, never forget that." _

Jack's heart was aching as he sat watching the scene. First, that he couldn't go back in time and thank '_Irina_' for giving them their beautiful daughter, using her _real name_ knowing how much that had to have hurt her. And second, thinking about that moment, and all the others when Irina had said, _'I love you…never forget'_ and the years after when he didn't believe her, chose to forget rather than feel the pain of losing her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: A lot of music this time for the 'film' and it's awesome! ... Music for this chapter (on repeat): So Happy Together **_**by The Turtles**_**, My Girl **_**by The Temptations,**_** My Sharona **_**by The Task**_**, Addictive Instrumental by Truth Hurts featuring Rakim, Mrs. Robinson **_**by Simon and Garfunkel,**_** Kissing You (Instrumental) **_**by Des'ree from**_** Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack, Hit Me With Your Best Shot**_** by Pat Benetar**_**, Back in Black **_**by AC/DC**_**, When Somebody Loved Me **_**by Sarah McLachlan,**_** The Snipers War **_******by James Horner**** from**_** The Enemy At The Gates **_**Soundtrack**_**, Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye **_**by C****hantal Kreviazuk**_**, Somewhere In Time **_**by John Barry from the**_** Somewhere In Time **_**Soundtrack**_**, Hymn To Red October by Basil Poledouris **_**from**_** The Hunt For The Red October **_**Soundtrack**_**, She's Gone **_**by Black Sabbath**_** , Malleus Maleficarum **_**by Hans Zimmer from the**_** DaVinci Code**_** Soundtrack**_**, Mother of a Mother **_**by Michael Giacchino from the**_** ALIAS **_**Soundtrack**_**, Tania **_**by James Horner**_** from Enemy At The Gates **_**Soundtrack.**

* * *

FIVE

o

**_*So Happy Together *_**

The moments with Sydney as a baby followed showing just how insanely happy their little family was. The morning Sydney escaped from her crib and crawled into their room brought a hysterical bout of laughter knowing what Sydney became later in life.

Jack walked into the bedroom quietly early in the morning. He was just returning from a dangerous mission and '_wanted nothing more then to see the loves of his life._' He'd told Arvin on the plane ride home. Now he stood before them watching them sleep in his bed. Irina had her arms wrapped around their beautiful two year old daughter, spooning up behind her while Sydney held her Cookie Monster stuffed animal in the exact same comforting gesture.

Another audible 'awe' could be heard softly rolling through the theatre at the image shown.

_Jack slid into bed carefully not to wake them but was unsuccessful when Irina opened her eyes and smiled at her husband sleepily. _

_"Hello Beautiful." He greeted her in a whisper, leaning over Sydney to kiss her as he settled in beside them. His head then bent to place a kiss on Sydney's head and Irina's hand shot out to graze the bruise and split cheek with worry in her eyes. _

_"Jack…" She breathed out quickly and he stilled her hand. _

_"It's nothing...I'm ok Laura, I promise." He brought her hand around to kiss her palm and smiled. _

_"What happened?" She softly traced his cheek with her fingertips while Jack smoothed over Sydney's baby curls. _

_"I don't want to talk about it right now, please? I promise I'll tell you later but right now, I just want this." He smiled looking down at Sydney and back up at her, kissing her mouth again softly when she nodded. "So what did she learn to do while I was gone this time?" He asked with sadness in his voice through his smile as he picked up Sydney's little hand and kissed it. _

_"Well, she almost gave me a heart-attack yesterday." She cocked her eyebrow at him, "She's started riding her tricycle off the couch." Irina smiled with a small laugh seeing his reaction. "And proudly told me through a fit of giggles, 'I wuv dangew, Mommy." _

_"Oh no." Jack tried to stifle his laughter and not wake their sleeping babe. "Why do I have a feeling she's going to be sending us into cardiac arrest many times throughout our life?"_

"And she has." Jack whispered to Irina out of the side of his mouth with a smile remembering that morning well.

**_*My Girl*_**

_"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day…when its cold outside …I've got the month of May…I guess you'd say…what can make me feel this way…My Girl…" Irina sang to a four year old Sydney holding her Strawberry Shortcake Doll as they dance around the living room together listening to the radio. _

_In between words Irina was tickling her and sending her into fits of laughter, both so happy in their dancing they didn't notice Jack watching them from the doorway with an enormous smile beside Arvin Sloane. _

_"Oh Mommy…" Sydney giggled in her arms throwing her head back with laughter, "Stop tickling me!" _

_"I guess you'd say…what can make me feel this way…My Girl!" Jack sang walking up behind them and grabbing them both in a hug, kissing their heads. _

_"Daddy!" Sydney squealed and leapt into his arms from Irina. "Save me from Mommy! She's the Tickle Monster today!" _

_"She is, huh?" Jack waggled his eyebrows at his wife holding his laughing 4 year old. "Well I think I can help you with that." He turned his head and whispered in Sydney's ear._

_"Oh no, you don't!" Irina squealed and tried to bolt away from them but Jack grabbed her arm and both he and Sydney proceeded to tickle her, Jack trapping her against his body with his free arm, spinning her around to hold her while Sydney tickled her. "Okay, okay, okay!" She pleaded between giggles surrendering. "I surrender!" _

_"That's funny, I never pictured you as the type to surrender so easily, Laura." Sloane gave her a mysterious smile from the doorway watching the family interaction. _

_"Hello Arvin." She greeted him with a forced smile before turning her attention back to Jack who spun her in his arms and kissed her soundly._

_"Where's my kiss, Daddy?" Sydney pouted and Jack and Irina broke apart laughing. _

_"Right here." Jack kissed her and then tickled her, sending her squealing again. _

_"Daddy, stop! Mommy's the Tickle Monster today, not you!" Sydney lectured him in her little voice with a determined look. _

_"Oh…sorry." Jack held back his laughter. _

_"I'll get dinner started." Irina smiled hit him on the butt when she walked into the kitchen. _

_"Hello, Uncle Arvin." Sydney smiled, holding her little arms tightly around Jack's neck. "Is Aunt Emily coming over for dinner, too?"_

_"She should be here any minute." Sloane smiled, "I know she was very excited to see you, Sydney."_

_"Me too!" Sydney giggled, "We made a really good tent the last time I stayed at your house… remember our tent, Uncle Arvin?"_

_"Yes, Sydney. That was an excellent tent. What concert were you at this time?" He reached out to take Sydney from Jack when he nodded he was going to go into the kitchen with his wife, a mischievous glean in his eye. Sydney didn't seem to notice the transfer, so excited about her tent making. _

_"We were at Black Sabbath." Sydney smiled brightly and Jack laughed, kissing her head while she sat in Arvin's arms. _

The audience, especially Weiss, laughed out loud again.

_"That's right, Runtberry." Jack laughed at his daughter and then went to find his wife hearing Sloane asking Sydney to tell him about her doll over his shoulder. _

_"Hey." He came up behind her in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her shoulder, then neck, inhaling her scent. "I missed you."_

_"I missed you, too." She smiled, chopping her carrots._

_"Thank you for this…always being so kind to him." Jack whispered in her ear, "I know only tolerate him for me." He kissed her cheek and she leaned into him._

_"He's your best friend." She shrugged with a smile and continued chopping. "You enjoy his company."_

_"No, you're my best friend." Jack kissed her neck making her giggle, "And I certainly enjoy your company over his any day!" His hands started raking up and down her body making her laugh when he whispered naughty things in her ear that only they could hear. _

_"Ahem." Sloane cleared his throat behind them smiling with Sydney in his arms. _

Sydney felt her skin crawling thinking about the man holding her like that as a child, his sweetness sickening and making her nauseous after all he would do to her family.

It had established her mother's dislike of the slimy man and also showed her later that night, searching through her father's office, finding more Intel to give the KGB and her handler in the morning.

**_*My Sharona*_**

_"Oh My God. My Sharona, is right!" Agent Falcon gasped when he pulled up in front the Bristow's house and saw Irina in a wet white tank top that said UCLA in blue letters and Daisy Duke cutoffs with bare feet washing the car while Sydney played with the water hose on the hot summer day. 'My Sharona' was playing on the radio in the car._

"Wow..." Weiss felt his mouth go dry.

_"Easy Falcon, that's my wife you're talking about." Jack turned his head to glare at the man in the back seat with a half smirk._

_"That's your wife?" He gaped in awe having never seen her in real life before and Jack smiled, nodding happily. "Goddamn, Bristow, you're a lucky sonofabitch." He gasped again and leaned forward from the backseat to watch as Irina flipped her long hair over her other shoulder washing the hood of the car. _

_Jack smiled proudly at his wife who paused to wave at them with a smile. He laughed when Sydney sprayed her with the hose making her jump, drop her sponge and chase their daughter in pigtails around the front lawn, scooping her up and tickling her._

_Sloane was watching her with an especially sick smile, leaning on the steering wheel. _

_"Yes, he is a lucky man. Laura is a fantastic woman. Extraordinary." _

_They were all on their way to the airport for another mission in India and Jack had to stop and tell her he was leaving and pick up something. _

_"Yes, she is and yesm I'm a lucky bastard." Jack smiled, slapping Arvin on the shoulder making his move to get out of the car, "This won't take long. I'll be right back." _

_They watched with fascination as Jack embraced his soaking wet wife, kissing her soundly and smiling when she laughed at getting his suit wet. _

_"And she's a college Professor." Agent Marcott smiled having met and been entirely enchanted by Bristow's wife before. _

_"I never had a Professor that looked like that." Falcon stared with wide eyes as he stared at Irina. "Sure makes me want to go back to school." _

_Agent Marcott smiled, waving with a smile at Irina when she looked their way. She waved back and then an obviously serious discussion took place between Jack and his wife with Sydney on her hip. Her narrowing eyebrows spoke volumes._

_"He just told her he was going to be gone for a long time this trip. She hates that." Sloane offered knowing that look well. _

_"So does my wife. She can't understand why I would have to be gone so long just to sell airplane parts." Falcon smirked, "Apparently Jack's wife doesn't either." _

_"Jack," Irina began to protest and Jack took her by the arm, leading her inside and away from prying eyes and lip readers. _

_Safe inside the confines of their house she put Sydney down. _

_"Sugar Bug, could you please go get Mommy a towel and one for yourself, too while I talk to Daddy a minute?" She kissed Sydney brushing her hand over her wet pigtails. _

_"Sure Mommy." Sydney smiled brightly and bounced off up the stairs. When she was out of earshot, Irina looked at Jack expectantly. _

_"I'll be gone a month this time. I have to go to India." Jack whispered softly, setting his briefcase down on the sofa while Irina stood dripping wet before him on the living room rug. _

_"For a month, Jack?" She shook her head obviously not happy about it. "You just got home last week! I thought this project you were working on meant less trips away from home?"_

_"I know, My Love, I don't want to go either but you know I don't have a choice in this. I'm sorry." His hand went up to wipe a piece of wet slicked hair from her cheek. _

_"How dangerous?" She asked softly, looking at him with her beautiful doe eyes. "Jack?" She asked expectantly again when he didn't answer immediately._

_"It's fairly dangerous." He admitted shyly but honestly._

_"Who's going with you?" Her voice remained calm, though she wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. _

_"Arvin, Jim Marcott and Mike 're waiting for me." He gave her a small smile as Sydney came bounding down the steps with two big fluffy towels. _

_"Here, Mommy." She handed her mother one with a big smile. "Daddy, are you leaving again?" Sydney saw the tears building in her mother's eyes and knew that something was wrong. _

_"Yes, my little Runtberry," He knelt down to her level. "I have to go away for a long time this trip."_

_"Why? Can't people buy airplanes from someone else?" Her little lip started to quiver. _

_"Afraid not, Sweetheart." Jack wrapped the towel around her shoulders. _

_"But you're going to miss the party with fireworks." She looked at him sadly with her own big brown eyes. "You told me we would do Sparklers."_

_"You can still do Sparklers with Mommy and Aunt Emily." Jack gave her a small smile, his heart breaking. "I promise I'll make it up to you when I get back, ok?" He cupped her little cheek forcing her to look at him. She nodded sadly and he kissed her, hugging her tightly before standing to face his wife. "I'll make it up to both of you." _

_Irina just nodded and stood there while he kissed her lips, blinking back tears and Jack felt helpless. He ran upstairs to grab something from his room and when he came back down, Sydney was hugging Irina's neck, with tears in both of their eyes. _

_"Bye." He paused to look at them in front of the door, hand on the knob and about to leave when Irina called out to him. _

_"Jack," She said rapidly, her tears spilling over her cheeks. "Be safe. I love you." _

_In two strides, Jack crossed the floor and grabbed her, kissing her deeply as this one she returned, her hand threading into his hair. _

_"I love you, too." He whispered, resting his forehead against hers and wiping her tears. He kissed Sydney one more time and was out the door. _

_Irina held Sydney more tightly, closing her eyes, _

_"Please be safe, Jack." She whispered letting more tears fall before collecting herself. She smiled, "How about some ice cream, Sweetheart?"_

_"I can't give you anything right now!" Irina paced back and forth across the hotel room in front of her handler. He was demanding Intel from Jack and she had none. "Jack has been gone on a mission for almost a month!" She'd just come from school and was still dressed the part of college professor in her black skirt and blazer. _

_"To where? And for what?" He drilled her, smoking the disgusting cheap cigarette that always made her nauseous. _

_"He went to India, that's all I know." Irina sighed flipping her hair and obviously annoyed, "You know that he doesn't tell me anything until after he returns what he did if its dangerous…He doesn't want me to worry."_

_"Isn't that sweet." He mocked her and Irina's eyes flew to his with barely concealed anger. _

_"I have to go." She reached for her purse lying on the insanely colored flower print bedspread. _

_"What's the rush?" He crossed his legs, leaning back and analyzing her. _

_"I have to pick up my daughter from ballet." She replied evenly. _

_"You are leaving the child behind, Comrade. Don't forget." He glared at her, lighting another cigarette. "You're becoming too attached. I've seen you with her at the park; always showing her affection." _

_"She's four years old." Irina looked at him incredulously, "Normal parents show affection for their children, if I didn't…people would wonder. And don't lecture me on leaving her behind when the time comes for my Extraction." She threw her purse strap over her shoulder, glaring at him. "I'm well aware, the child stays with Jack." _

_She looked him dead in the eye, trying to swallow her feelings until she was away from the man. She moved towards the door and stopped mid-stride when he spoke his threat._

_"Don't pretend she doesn't mean anything to you, Irina. I know she does," He glared at her with his beady eyes and crooked smile, "And she will grow into a gorgeous being like her mother in spite of her father." He smirked and Irina continued to stare at him, "That is, as long as you remember your job and don't do anything to jeopardize her future." He opened a folder and slowly spread four photos of Sydney across the table. The silent message being sent that the KGB could get to her at anytime. His icy threat sent shivers down Irina's spine. _

_"I know my job…and I've been doing it well for years. Giving you everything you've asked for." She cocked her head and lanced him with her hardened gaze. _

_"Good, as long as we're clear." He tapped his finger over Sydney's face in the photo. _

_"Is that all?" Irina waited impatiently by the door, hand on the knob. _

_"No, you have another assignment while your 'husband," He spat the word with distaste and an evil smile as he slid another folder towards her, "Is away. Must keep you working. Idle hands leads to idle thoughts." He cocked his eyebrow at her when she picked up the folder threatening her once more._

_"Another Extraction." Irina sighed looking at the face of yet another agent being recalled home to the Mother Land. _

_"Yes." He answered letting his cigarette dangle between his dry lips. "Your time will come, too, Irina."_

***Addictive Instrumental***

_Thud. Jack had slammed Irina's body against their kitchen wall kissing her hard, causing her to hit her head._

_"Owe…" She laughed reaching back to rub her head with her free hand as the other gripped the bottle of Indian Rum. _

_"Sorry." Jack looked at her through drunken haze apologetically as he cupped her face. "I just missed you so much." His lips capturing hers in mini kisses that trailed down her throat and began his decent down her chest. "A month is entirely too long." _

_Irina ran her hands through his wild hair; arching her chest forward and leaning her head back to give him access. The bottle of Indian Rum sloshing around in her hand. _

_"This is some potent rum, Jack." She giggled and then hiccupped causing him to laugh as he stepped back and began removing his shirt exposing his sexy torso to her approving eyes. She nodded in happiness and took another swig from the bottle before passing it to him. _

_He gulped at it while looking at her hungrily, watching her pull her halter top over her head clumsily in her drunken state._

_"Help!" She cried from behind the tangled fabric and he laughed stepping forward to help her. He tugged hard and she came free from the bindings, stumbling into him and making them both laugh. _

_His mouth immediately searing to hers, lifting her leg over his hip and moving his hand up her thigh under her skirt. He crashed their hips together and pushed her back against the wall again, pinning her to the wall and Irina cried out again. _

_"Owe!" She yelped into his mouth, "Light switch." She giggled rubbing her back where the offending object had dug into her flesh. _

_"Well, damnit!" Jack attempted gruffly and laughed, picking her up and devouring her mouth in a kiss and she dropped the bottle, shattering it across the floor as he walked them both to the kitchen table, Irina's legs wrapped around his hips, her hands on his neck and in his hair. _

_He set her on its edge and leaned her back over the Cookie Monster picture Sydney had made for him, staring intently into her big eyes when he pulled back. _

_"I love you…and I love coming 'home." He smiled, brushing her hair off her face and Irina leaned up to capture his lips. "That's the last time we'll be separated this long again. I promise, Laura." He looked into her eyes, kissing her face lightly as he settle above her._

The love scene that followed was quick but mighty hot, showing only the up close profile view of Jack moving above Irina on the table in the same way Maverick had moved above Charlie in 'Top Gun'…tasteful yet sexy as hell and left more then a few pulling at their tuxedo ties and holding their breath.

"Whoa." Weiss turned to Sydney with wide-eyes of astonishment and Sydney had almost forgotten up to that point that she was actually watching her 'parents' instead of an incredibly romantic love scene from a movie, losing herself in the moment between the two.

The crumpled Cookie Monster poster beneath her 'mother' on screen bringing back the glaring reminder along with Weiss's words.

Hysterical laughter once again filled the theatre when Irina onscreen sniffed the air, Jack collapsed on her chest from his reunion efforts, and realized their kitchen was on fire from the forgotten toast.

The Extraction of Mikhail brought forth another round of tears as he and Irina said their goodbyes at the border of Mexico. Irina promised to look after his family while she was still in the States.

The mood lightened and tears turned to smiles with the next segment.

**_*Mrs. Robinson*_**

_The students filled the massive shell shaped room listening to their professor to them as she sat perched on the edge of her desk, legs crossed and bobbing her foot, clicking her heel on and off…enchanting every male in the room. _

The music selection over the scene immediately sent the audience into a bout of laughter and Dr. Ryan Peterson blushing in theatre the moment he recognized the young man playing himself on screen.

Ryan Peterson was flicking gum wrappers at the young woman next to him, earning evil glares from her for being annoying.

_Irina suddenly stopped reading, looking directly at him with her stern eyes waiting._

_"Shakespeare not your cup of tea, Mr. Peterson? Am I wasting your time by discussing some of the greatest love sonnets in the world, or are you wasting mine?" She asked him coyly, re-crossing her legs in front of him and earning giggles throughout the room when he swallowed nervously. _

_"Sorry, Professor Bristow." He apologized shyly, blushing before smirking when she turned back to the book and added under his breath, "Mrs. Robinson," earning laughter from the other students around him Irina's eyes to dart back to him. He sat smugly with a smile looking at her, resting his chin on his fist with a dazed look under her scrutiny._

_"Perhaps if you were listening, Mr. Peterson," She tucked her hair behind her ear with a sly smile, not having heard what he had apparently said, "You would find that speaking to a woman from your heart… as Romeo does to Juliet in this passage…is a far better approach to get a girl's attention then shooting paper wads at her?" She glanced over at Ann Bartholomew who was slinking into her seat, red with embarrassment as the entire class erupted into laughter. "Shakespeare was a brilliant man when it came to speaking of matters and truths of the heart." She closed the book in her lap, staring at him for a response._

_"Is that how you're husband won your heart, Professor? By spouting off an old dead guy's words?" The cocky young man challenged his teacher back with a gleam in his own eyes, trying to get her to blush._

**_*Kissing You (Instrumental)*_**

_"Did my heart love 'til now, for swear it sight," Jack spoke loudly from the doorway, his eyes locking with Irina's surprised ones across the room as he walked towards her slowly and her students gasped with awe and surprise at seeing a rare moment. "For it never saw true beauty 'til this night." He smiled and her eyes immediately shown bright with love at his surprise. He had gotten home early from a mission and had come to meet her knowing her class was wrapping up. He witnessed the entire interruption of Irina's reading and her verbal sparring with the arrogant young man who reminded him of his younger self. _

_"Sounds good to me." Ann smiled happily, turning a raised eyebrow back to Ryan who was blushing seeing the man who was obviously the Professor's husband, greet her with a smile and knock-out words of love. _

_"Class dismissed. Remember no class next week in preparation for your Finals and to read Chapters Sixteen through Nineteen for the following Monday! Have a good weekend." Irina said loudly over her shoulder, her eyes never leaving Jack's and happy laughter could be heard behind them as the students gathered their things and began filing out of the room. _

_Jack and Irina remained frozen in their position, with him standing just a foot in front of her perched on her desk while they waited for the last students to clear out. _

_"Wait." Ann paused in the doorway at the back and top of the lecture hall, looking down at her Professor and her husband; Ryan running into her and turning around to watch what was making Ann smile. _

_Jack leaned in, looking into Irina's eyes for a moment before closing the distance and melting his lips with hers in a sweet kiss. He brushed his nose with hers making her smile and laugh before she threw her arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly and he lifted her from the desk holding her. _

_"You're back early…" Irina smiled softly brushing her nose with his once more._

_"I missed you." Jack said barely loud enough for them to hear in the back and Ann clasped her hand over her heart with tears building in her eyes watching the loving exchange. _

_"I love you." Irina said back, leaning back to look at him then to cover his mouth with hers in another steamy kiss and Ann felt like they should leave. She grabbed the awestruck young man in front of her and pulled on his shirt; both laughing when the door closed silently behind them. _

_Dr. Peterson gripped his wife's hand, kissing it knowing she had tears in her eyes. That moment was the last they ever saw of their beloved Professor alive. She died the Sunday before that Monday's class in a terrible car accident, 'or so they all thought.' It was her death, her last imparting words of love and sight of her interactions with her own husband they had witnessed that ended up bringing them together._

_"My only love sprung from my only hate, to early seen unknown and known too late… Prodigious of love it is to me that I must love, a loathed enemy." Jack read the words from Romeo and Juliet that Irina had scrawled across the blackboard behind her and her breath hitched, her tears threatening to overwhelm her at the enormity of truth in that statement. _

"We had both fallen in love with our sworn enemy," Lena's voice narrated Irina's emotions, "Only Jack didn't know it yet and my Extraction Orders had already been issued. I was about to lose my only love, if I couldn't find a way to stall them again."

Irina batted at tears falling down her cheeks watching and remembering. Jack saw her hand move to wipe her tears and he put his arm around her shoulders thankful for the 'love-seating' theatre, bringing her head closer to his lips with tears in his own eyes.

The tragic truth of Shakespeare's words in relation to their relationship tugging at everyone's heart strings at the downfall about to happen to them.

**_*Hit Me With Your Best Shot*_**

_Jack chuckled putting his last pair of socks in his duffle bag listening to the music blaring through the house coming from the downstairs radio. Today was Saturday, which meant cleaning and laundry and Sydney and Laura jamming out to their favorite Rock station. _

_He shook his head and smiled when his wife breezed up behind him wrapping her arms around his chest and placing a kiss between his shoulder blades, holding him tightly. He spun her around and smiled seeing her wearing her AC/DC t-shirt and jeans. _

_"Mmm, that's a good shirt. 'Really' good memories." He enveloped her in his arms, kissing her soundly with a smile._

_"Oh God." Sydney laughed and shook her head realizing now why her father had apparently kept that shirt and the others._

_"Do you really have to leave already, Jack? You just got home yesterday." She pouted, snuggling her face into his neck while he held her._

_"Yes, unfortunately. They only let me come home early last night because they knew they were sending me out again today." He kissed her head and released her from his grasp. "I'll be back in one week and then I'm home until after Christmas, okay?"_

_"Okay." She shrugged obviously upset and on edge from her actions and tone and quickly moved towards the door. _

_"Laura…" He called after her shoulders slumped. _

_"Just… don't, Jack." She paused but didn't turn around. "It's your job. I understand." She quickly opened the door before he could see the tears pooling in her eyes and took a deep breath, blinking them back and wiping her eyes before she headed down stairs. She smiled widely at her daughter bouncing around in the Living Room in her overalls, her favorite outfit in the world at the moment, with a dusting cloth, in hand, singing her heart out to Pat Benatar. _

_Irina went into the kitchen and laundry room to fold laundry, trying desperately to keep her tears at bay as she heard Jack bound down the steps and Sydney's excited giggle. _

_"Hit me with your best shot, Daddy!" Sydney threw her arms up in a fighting stance that made Jack break into a deep laugh as he picked up his little boxer and twirl her around. "Fire away, Daddy!" _

_"I don't think so, Sweetheart." He attacked her with kisses instead sending her into a fit of giggles and forcing her to drop her fists as he brought them both to sit on the couch. Her overall strap had come undone and he sat her on his knee while he fixed it._

_"You're leaving again aren't you?" Sydney gave him the narrowed eyebrows she got from her mother spying his bag on the floor. _

_"Yes, Sweetie, I have to go out of town for a little while." He smiled at her sadly, stroking her ponytail and pushing her hair behind her ears, "But I promise I'll be back next weekend." _

_"Okay." She smiled, "Can we slide now?" She asked in a whisper having looked around and not spotted her mother. Jack burst into laughter, kissing her and holding her tight at her mischievousness. _

_"Yes, one last slide." He set her on the floor and took her by the hand to the far end of the living room, pushing back the area rug and then smiled, "Ready?" _

_Sydney nodded vigorously with a smile and they both took three quick steps and were sliding across the hard wood floor towards the French Doors and breaking into laughter. _

_"Our secret?" Jack held out his pinky to Sydney with a smile and her little finger wrapped around his._

_"Our secret, Daddy." She giggled and kissed him on the cheek._

_"I've got to go find Mommy and say 'goodbye." He stood and pulled her up with him. "Why don't you go upstairs and start cleaning up that room I saw was a mess." He gave her a knowing look with a smile. "I saw at least six different puzzles scattered across your floor, Young Lady."_

**_*Back In Black*_**

_"Ok, Daddy." She smiled, flinging her little arms around his neck and kissing him one last time. He swatted her on the butt in jest and watched her run up the steps. The song on the radio had changed to the new release by AC/DC as he made his way to find his wife._

_"Hey," He leaned on the doorframe to the laundry room watching her fold Sydney's socks. "Are you still upset with me?"_

_"I'm not upset with you, Jack." She sighed defeated and kept folding, "I'm just upset that you have to leave again." _

_He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. _

_"I'll miss you, too." He whispered, knowing what she meant and kissed her under the ear. She turned quickly in his arms and locked her lips with his. Her hands tangling in his hair and leaving him breathless. "Whoa, I think I have a few minutes." He smiled, picking her up and setting her on the washer where she attacked him again with her kiss and Jack kicked the door shut. _

Effectively closing it to the audience, who was laughing.

Sydney, Vaughn, Weiss and Julian were all sharing wide-eyed looks of realization of the correlation between the shirt, the Laundry Room and the song, _Back In Blac_k.

Weiss was doubling over trying to hold back his laughter and Sophia was lost as to why it was so drastically funny. He looked over at Irina and she smiled and winked, causing him to lose it again.

_"I love you, Jack. Please be safe." Irina kissed him standing on the porch of their house saying what would be their final goodbye. _

_"I will, I promise." He held her face smiling and kissing her again. "I'll see you next weekend, My Love. Until then." He kissed her long and hard and abruptly broke apart knowing he would never leave otherwise. _

_Irina waited by the door, giving him a small wave as he drove away. _

_"Everything looks great, Laura." Her doctor smiled down at her. "You're already through the hard part and you didn't even know it." He chuckled putting on his stethoscope. Irina exhaled the nervous breath she was holding in. "You really had no idea you were pregnant, huh?" He moved the circular disc around her naked abdomen. _

_"No, I mean, I guess looking back. Yes I knew something was different it's just; I've been under a lot of stress lately." She wiped at the tears falling from her eyes and running into her hair. "School finals, the holidays. Jack's been gone a lot. He's gone now…" _

_The real stress had come from the impending Extraction Order and now to find out she was pregnant again was almost too much. Her heart was already swelling with love for her unborn child. _

_"Well, you're almost half way there now. Blew right through the first trimester and into the second. Won't be long at all now and Sydney will be welcoming her new baby brother or sister." _

_"Another baby." She whispered, a smile coming to her eyes thinking about it. _

_"Ah ha!" Her doctor smiled madly listening to the spot just below her belly button. "Found it! Good strong heart beat." He removed the ear buds from his ears and handed them to Irina. She listened a moment and then lit into a huge teary smile hearing her baby's heart beat. Her tears kept coming and the doctor handed her a tissue with a smile of his own. _

_"Congratulations, Mommy." _

**_*When Somebody Loved Me*_**

The horrific scene at the house when Irina received the film of her mother's execution and final extraction notice left everyone out right crying, especially with her clinging to Sydney on the floor realizing she was really going to have to leave her.

_The next two nights, while Jack was away, Irina had Sydney sleeping with her, reading Alice In Wonderland until her daughter fell asleep. When her little eyes would close, Irina would sit and look at her, crying and memorizing every tiny detail of her child that she already knew by heart. _

_Irina was kneeling on the floor putting Sydney's toys and piano books into her backpack crying with each move. She stopped suddenly when Sydney touched her cheek. _

_"Mommy, please don't be sad anymore." _

_"Come here, Sweetheart." She smiled through her tears, pulling Sydney fiercely to her chest and kissing her while more tears fell. "I am going to miss you so much it hurts." She kissed her head once more and pulled Sydney back to look at her, staring into her eyes and using her fingers to brush the hair behind Sydney's ears. "I want you to be a good girl for Ms. Adams and play nicely." She tried to smile as more tears coursed down her cheeks, and Sydney nodded obviously concerned about her mother. "Listen to Ms. Adams." Irina barely got out before she was sobbing again and pulling Sydney into a big hug, smothering her in kisses that made Sydney giggle and squirm. _

_"Mom-my!" Sydney admonishes her through tickles and giggles. Irina smiled and held her hand up and Sydney placed her tiny one against her mother's. _

_"Sydney, I love you to the moon and back," She wrapped her fingers around her daughter's little ones. _

_"More than the stars in the heavens and the grains of sand on Earth." Sydney smiled brightly._

_"Forever and always… Yes," Irina smiled through her tears at their saying. "Don't ever forget that, Sweetheart. Forever and always." She helped Sydney into her backpack and stood, holding out her hand and waiting for Sydney to take hold of it. _

_Irina paused at the door of the house, looking around once more while Sydney looked up at her. She smiled back at her with blurry eyes and walked next door to Ms. Adams with Irina rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb in circles. _

_"Good-bye, My Love." Irina kissed Sydney one last time, hugging her and nodding at Ms. Adams. "Thank you." She turned and began walking away, stopping to watch Sydney disappear inside the house. _

Even Kendall had tears pooling in his eyes after watching that heart-wrenching goodbye, glancing over at Irina continuously amazed at how much he hadn't known about the woman before him now.

The sequences following had everyone holding their breath.

**_*The Sniper's War*_**

_The water was freezing as it swirled around her body, clinging to the steering wheel and taking her last gasp of breath before she was completely submerged. _

_Irina rolled down the window as the car settled into the riverbed, and moved her hands to crawl out the space. She looked through the murky water for any sign of Kasanau but only saw reflections from the headlights of the other car and the lights above from witnesses to the accident desperately searching the river for survivors. _

_She moved to the wheel and inhaled air from the tires, hanging onto the car and placing her hand protectively over her belly, hoping that the baby within was protected by the confines of her body from the impact. _

_Her own head had hit the steering wheel and she knew she must be bleeding from the red tint in the water surrounding her head and the struggle to keep her eyes open in the bone chilling water. She waited and waited looking up at the lights on the surface before she felt the sudden startling tug on her arm. _

_Kasanau had swum over to her and was motioning her away from the wreck. _

_They swam into the darkness against the current up stream until her lungs burned, knowing that Search and Rescue would look down stream with the currents for bodies. _

_When she saw him moving to the surface she scrambled up behind him, breaking the water with a loud gasp as the new air filled her lungs. She had only a moment to look up at the star lit sky before he was pulling on her clothes again, towards the embankment._

_They both collapsed into the dirt and heaved their tired lungs, resting a moment before moving on. She sat up dizzy, her wet hair plastered to her face and looked down stream to the hole in the side of the bridge, the multitude of cars that had stopped to help and the people searching the water and banks with flashlights. _

_The scream of the sirens told her that 'help' was on the way and that's when Kasanau grabbed her arm again, yanking her upright. _

_"We must move." He stated the obvious with dark eyes, roughly wiping at the blood on her forehead with his fingers. "Irina!" He demanded when she stayed still in shock at what was happening and pushed her forward into the trees with her sight on the bridge and screaming red and blue lights until she could no longer see._

_"Jack…" Agent Falcon approached him cautiously when Jack and Sloane arrived back at Ops from their mission moments earlier. _

_"Yeah, what can I do for you?" Jack smiled radiantly, the mission went well and he was eager to get home to his wife and child. _

_"Jack." Falcon said softly, his eyes going to Arvin's and back, "The police called…there was an accident." _

_Jack heart immediately dropped and he went pale. _

_"Is it, Sydney? Did she jump out of another tree?" He rapidly asked questions and Sloane quickly realized by the look in Falcon's eyes that something terrible had happened. _

_"No, Jack, Sydney's fine. She's actually with your wife, Arvin." His blue eyes darted up to the other Agent's wishing he didn't have to tell Jack this, "It's Laura, Jack. Maybe you better sit down."_

_"No! Goddamn it! Just tell me!" Jack's breathing became rapid as his chest tightened, "What happened to my wife?" He knew that with the suggestion of sitting down came terrible news. _

_"She was on her way back from the University, there was an accident with another car. They went over the bridge," Falcon's eyes began to flood with tears._

_"No…no…no…" Jack immediately began shaking his head and chanting while he backed away. _

_"They've been searching for an hour, Jack. She's gone." Falcon reached out to grasp Jack's arm but was pushed away._

_"No! Noooo! She's fine…they just haven't found her yet. I'm sure she's down the river. Laura's a good swimmer." He tried to find every reason he could to justify why they hadn't found her._

_"Jack." Sloane put a comforting hand on his shoulder knowing by the look in Falcon's face, the police had told him she was 'gone.' Laura Bristow was dead._

_"No! Get away from me! I'm going to find my wife!" Jack's eyes burned with raging tears as he pushed past them with determination. _

_He stood by the riverbanks well into morning with his friends by his side, looking lost at the murky water, cloaked in a wool blanket and soaking wet. _

_The wreckage company was in the process of lifting their wrecked car out of the water. He had searched for her, up and down the river, watched dive teams go in and out and finally jumped in himself. Diving and surfacing in the spot she went down mercilessly until Falcon and Marcott went in after him, dragging him out kicking and screaming her name. _

_"Jack, go home. There is nothing more we can do here. She's gone." Sloane got in front of him, blocking his line of sight where Jack watched the car hoist in the air. "Sydney's waiting." The mention of his daughter sent a spark of life through his eyes. _

_"Sydney…" Jack sighed as more tears came to his eyes. "What am I going to tell her?" _

_"The truth." Sloane pulled the blanket tighter around his friend. "She knows something's terribly wrong. Laura never picked her up last night, Emily did." _

**_*Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye*_**

_Jack stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom, trying for the tenth time to tie his tie. His face was void of emotion as he stared blankly ahead of him getting ready for her funeral. _

_"Are you ready?" Emily Sloane peeked her head into the bedroom, wearing a black dress with a small smile and puffy red eyes from crying. _

_"I can't get my tie." Jack responded without emotion and Emily stepped into help him. _

_"There." She smiled at him in the mirror softly. _

_"I keep thinking, that she's just at work and that any moment…she'll come through the door." Jack continued to stare at the mirror and Emily started crying again. _

_"It will take time." She whispered, picking up the frame of her beautiful friend with Sydney. "She was so beautiful." Emily sniffled, wiping at her tears and smiling at the photograph. _

_"I don't know how to live without her." Jack's eyes finally moved to Emily's in the reflection. _

_"Oh, Jack." Emily enveloped him into a hug when his eyes filled with tears, the two of them standing their crying._

_Irina hadn't spoken a word the entire way to Long Beach and once aboard the Russian ship, was hand cuffed and locked in a small room. With no chairs or bed, just empty steel she sat in the corner, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her head in her arms shivering. She was wet, chilled to the bone, dirty and bleeding in the darkness. _

_When they moved them to the submarine, Irina was locked in holding cell with a cot. She curl up into the fetal position and continued to shiver from the shock, crying herself quietly to sleep. _

_A guard took pity on her while she shook in her sleep and covered her with a rough wool blanket, providing some small comfort for the long journey across the sea._

_Jack and Sydney stood side-by-side with Jack's hand holding her little one as they watched the empty casket full of 'her things' instead of her missing body, being lowered into the ground. Neither of them crying but rather, in shock as the dirt began to fill in the hole. _

_The sounds of muffled cries could be heard behind them and when Sydney turned to look up at her father, her lip quivering she began to cry. Realizing with a certainty now, that after a few days without her mother…she must be gone with everyone crying and burying her things._

_"I want Mommy! Daddy! Please, I want Mommy! I promise I'll be good! Just please bring her back!" She sobbed and it broke Jack's heart, his eyes filled with tears he scooped her up, holding her little body to his and cried walking away from the gathered crowds of those wishing to say 'goodbye.' _

Irina's heart was breaking a million times over witnessing the events and pleas of her daughter surrounding her 'funeral' for the first time. Her eyes were burning with tears as she watched her family's heartbreaking.

**_*Somewhere In Time*_**

_"I'm late…I'm late…for a very important date." Jack read the words to 'Alice', though they weren't registering as he stroked Sydney's hair, his daughter falling asleep on his chest through her tears. _

_Every other page she would break down sobbing, being reminded that it was her mother who used to read her this book and how much she wanted her back. _

_Jack's heart was gone and the empty space it left behind exploded painfully with every one of their daughter's cries or another reminder she was really gone. Tonight had been Sydney's Thanksgiving play and for a whole 10 minutes, she'd forgotten that her little world had just ended and actually smiled. _

_As soon as it was over and she searched the crowd of applauding parents for her mother, she realized yet again the reality when she saw only her father, and the Sloanes. Her eyes immediately filled with tears and Jack had to rush on stage to pick her up before she started sobbing. _

_"Let's go to sleep, Sweetheart." Jack kissed her head and maneuvered her little body off his, trying to nestle her against her pillows. _

_"Not without prayers, Daddy." She looked up at him with the same doe eyes as that of her mother that now haunted him. She moved off the bed to her knees and folded her hands, waiting for Jack to join her with an expectant look. _

_When he was settled she closed her eyes and began with a quivering voice. _

_"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul will keep, let angels guide me through the night, and wake me with the morning light." Her little quiver grew and Jack saw the tears escaping underneath her eyelids. "Bless Daddy and Mommy…in heaven with you. The most beautiful angel." Her little lip trembled and she sniffled. "I miss Mommy. I love you so much…I promise I'll be a good girl…I promise. Amen." She sniffled and Jack scooped her up, kissing her head with tears in his own eyes as he settled her under the covers. _

_"Goodnight, Sweetheart." He kissed her head and tucked her doll in with her that Irina had given her for this last birthday. "I'll see you in the morning. I love you, Sydney." He paused by the doorway and hit the switch._

_"I love you, too, Daddy." _

_He went back to his own bedroom, curled up with the pajamas and pillow that still smelt like her and cried himself to sleep still dressed and wearing his clothes. _

"Oh Jack…" Irina turned her tear filled eyes to his with sadness and remorse seeing the anguish. "I'm so sorry."

"Shhh." Jack whispered quietly with matching unshed tears and a smile, placing a finger to her lips. "You don't have to be sorry; this story has a Happy Ending, remember?" He wiped at her tears with his fingers when he got her to smile.

**_*Hymn to Red October*_**

"_What the hell is this all about?" Jack slammed his cuffed wrists down on the interrogation table. _

_"Jack," Sloane and a number of other Agents surrounded him, "Laura wasn't who she appeared to be."_

_"What are you talking about?" Jack looked at him confused and agitated._

_"Jack," Sloane sighed, "This isn't easy to tell you. She was an Agent for the KGB. She was sent here to marry you and steal information." _

_"What? You're all insane if you believe that!" Jack fumed, his rage building at them defaming his dead wife's memory. "You knew Laura for God-sake, Arvin!"_

_"Her name wasn't Laura, Jack." He pushed a file towards him and flipped open to the first page with a photo of his wife on it. It was an FBI Counter Intelligence File and from the looks of it, they'd been following her for a while. "Her name was Irina Derevko and she was a Russian spy."_

The horrifying tortures that Irina encountered in Kashmir came just after and those who'd seen the films of the real events were awestruck at how very real-like they were to the original events.

Irina had wanted them to be as authentic as possible in telling her story and through the use of editing techniques on J.J.'s part, the worst of what was happening was implied and not shown fully except the first day… which was shown in brutal honesty as Cuvee beat her while pregnant and left her to hang on the cross.

Not shown but implied, was the image of Cuvee throwing the baby into the incinerator as Irina crumbled and wept before it, countering the images of Jack being shown in his interrogation as a potential co-conspirator with his wife.

_Jack was held for a few weeks in solitary and later released when they realized he really had no knowledge of who his wife was. Sydney was being taken care of by a nanny the Agency hired and now he stumbled into the empty house. _

_Emily had taken Sydney for the night on Arvin's suggestion, knowing that the first night in the house after learning the truth would be unbearable for Jack. _

_He had lost a considerable amount of weight and his clothes hung on his body as he stumbled through the dark towards the liquor cabinet. He poured himself a healthy glass of vodka and downed it, then another and another in rapid succession before hitting the switch and playing the last record she had on. _

_Black Sabbath began to croon over the speakers and without thought he moved the needle to the song that now seemed to represent his life. _

**_*She's Gone *_**

_He turned to the table filled with framed photographs of their happy family and picked one up, smiling and then crying. _

_"Bitch!" He threw it hard against the far wall shattering it and then another and another in his tears of rage. "How could you do this to me?" He screamed into the empty house, "You destroyed my everything! I hate you! I hate you!" He continued to throw everything from the shelves, on his rampage. Tossing furniture and knocking over lamps. "I hate you, Irina!" He screamed and dropped to his knees sobbing with his head in his hands. "I loved you! I loved you…" He cried, "Why'd you have to die! Why couldn't you face me? Tell me the Goddamn truth?" He violently swung his arm out breaking the leg off the end table. "I hate you for that! I hate you Irina Derevko!" _

_Sloane stood in the doorway watching his friend sobbing on his knees amongst the rubble of their once immaculate home. He had stopped by to see how Jack was doing and now he had his answer. _

_"Jack," He called out softly, walking towards him and Jack lifted his head, tears mixing with the snot as he tried to wipe his face._

_"I hate her! I hate her! She said she'd always love me…all of my life…and now she's gone. I'm such a fool." He flopped his head in shame and sobbed again. Sloane walked over and poured Jack another glass of vodka. He squatted down by his friend and handed him the clear liquid that would help numb the pain. _

_"She fooled us all, Jack but she's gone. You have to let her go and move on for Sydney's sake." He ran his hand down Jack's back trying to comfort him, all the while knowing the truth._

_"Move on? Move on?" Jack spat in rage, flying to his feet and picking up a shattered picture, waving it around, "She was my whole fucking life! She was, my everything! Sydney's everything! I don't know how to live without her, whoever she was or wasn't! I don't care anymore! I just… I don't know how to live without her." He sobbed and dropped back to his knees, his thumb caressing her face in the photograph. "I loved her with everything, Arvin… I loved her."_

_"I know." Sloane nodded softly. _

_Jack sniffled wiping his running nose and trembling, "I had no idea who she really was and now I am nothing without her."_

_Sloane's posture stiffened at Jack's admission. _

_"You have Sydney. She is real, Jack. You have to keep going for her." Sloane picked up another shattered frame of Sydney and handed it to Jack. "She needs your love now more then ever."_

_"And love her with what, Arvin?" Jack looked at him through puffy incredulous eyes, "My heart is gone and all capabilities of loving with it. Drowned in the bottom of a river with my wife, who I didn't really know. Sydney doesn't need me, she needs her mother."_

_"She's dead, Jack. And you're all Sydney has." Sloane said sternly._

_"The truth is, I don't care who she was, Arvin." Jack looked up at her with blurry eyes and a thick voice from crying, "I loved the woman I was married to. I am nothing without her. I would search the ends of the Earth to find her."_

_Sloane's posture stiffened at Jack's admission, deciding in that moment that he and the investigating team made a good call in not telling Jack, Irina Derevko was still alive. Jack didn't care who she was he was so ruled by his heart, he would go after her if he knew she was alive. "But you can't, Jack… she's not on Earth, she's dead and gone from your life forever."_

**_*Malleus Maleficarum*_**

The emotional scenes of Irina's further time in Kashmir left people literally sobbing in their seats softly as once again the brilliant filmmaker was able to convey the horridness of what was happening to Irina in regards to rape and torture without actually showing the graphic nature of the act fully.

Her attempted escape with Mikhail and subsequent capture and time in solitary was unbearable to see when she emerged looking like a skeleton and completely void of any emotion.

Mikhail, and Bella were beside themselves with angst and tears seeing the horrors replayed and played for them again and for the first time, to see what Irina's condition was when she emerged from solitary and to see her broken.

**_*Mother of a Mother*_**

Irina sat stoically at her debriefing table answering their questions as if someone else had invaded the body of the woman they'd spent the entire film getting to know and love. She looked and sounded like a reprogrammed robot.

_"My name is Irina Derevko. My alias was Laura Bristow."_

The last part, of the three and a half hour film, left everyone breathless and eagerly awaiting the next.

**_*Tania*_**

Irina sat stunned after the credits finished rolling and everyone began leaving their seats heading towards the exits. None of them had any idea if they should clap for the fantastic film or not, because of the serious nature on which the film ended. Everyone was clearly moved to silence and that terrified her.

"That was…" Weiss took her hand in both of his with tears still in his eyes, "Utterly insightful. You are amazing." He leaned forward and kissed both of Irina's cheeks, as the tears fell, not caring who saw them. He suddenly wrapped his arms around her, hugging her and blinking back more tears.

Reading it in the book was one thing, seeing it on the big screen as a visual history was an entirely other.

Sophia didn't speak just grabbed onto Irina first, kissing her through tears and then Jack, doing the same after seeing so much more into his life.

Weiss watched the exchange and stood before Jack with a half smile, gaining a whole new respect for him as well as understanding to how he could have become the unfeeling Jack Bristow that was slowly fading away now that Irina had brought back his heart and soul.

"Oh, Rina…" Katya was still sobbing as she kissed her sister, holding her tightly. "I'm so sorry." She cried, "I'm so sorry." Realizing now with absolute certainty what a horrible position her sister had been in, what she went through and what she lost in wide-screen projection.

"It's okay." Irina cried, smiling and holding onto her sister tightly, trying to soothe her. "It's okay, Katya. I love you so much, Little Sister."

Bella was next and literally thrust herself around Irina, hugging her and crying as she held on tightly, fully realizing tonight what the woman had gone through trying to save Mikhail.

Julian sat at the end of the aisle, his folded hands resting against his lips in thought, looking at Irina and processing everything he just saw. He finally understood the woman who raised him and why she had made the decisions she had.

Sydney stood back and watched her parents with a mixture of shock and awe having just learned an enormous amount about their past and hers. Gaining insight into both their lives and decisions that ultimately changed all their lives. She had thought she understood her father's motives for pulling away from her before, but after seeing the visual realization in front of her tonight, their love and loss, that he had really lost his soul and in doing so, lost himself. Tonight, she 'finally' understood in mind, body and soul.

Irina's eyes suddenly caught Sydney's and interrupted any further thought when she took two steps forward and wrapped Sydney into her' arms, crying.

"I love you, Sydney." Irina whispered quietly into her ear were the only words she said as she held her daughter. Nothing else, needed to be said.

"I love you, Mommy." Sydney whispered back and the sentiment caused Irina to cry harder but with happy tears, pulling her daughter more tightly to her.


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): We Didn't Start the Fire**_** by Billy Joel,**_** Groovejet **_**by Sophie B. Ellis**_**, Pretty Piece of Flesh **_**by One Inch Punch**_**, Delerium Silence **_**by Paul Oakenfold**_**, I'm a Slave 4 You **_**by Britney Spears**_**, Blue **_**by La Tour**_**, Boys **_**by Britney Spears**_**.**_

* * *

SIX

o

**_*We Didn't Start the Fire*_**

"Who's left?" Jack moved rapidly around the kitchen amongst the sea of people.

"We're still waiting on Kendall and Eric." Sydney smiled, from her perch upon the stool stealing a carrot from the relish tray he was trying to put away. "They are coming from the office. And the Petersons called; they are stuck in traffic but should be here in the next ten minutes. Everyone else is here."

"I still can't believe Kendall is coming with us to Las Vegas for my Bachelor Party." Vaughn laughed, stealing a bite off Sydney's carrot.

"Sin City, your Bachelor party, my Bachelorette Party, and my Dad's birthday. Mix in the CIA agents, the FSB security agents, the Swedish Royal family, your family, my family, and a couple of my Mom's former students-" She rattled out with a giggle and smile.

"_And a partridge in a pear tree!_" Vaughn crooned off key and made her laugh, kissing his lips. "_We didn't start the fire!_" He kept singing to her along with the song playing through the house on the surround sound, finding it appropriate for the group assembling.

"I think this is going to be our most interesting adventure yet." Sydney raised her eyebrow with a mischievous gleam. "You're not allowed to spy on us-"

"You're not allowed to spy on us!" Vaughn countered with a laugh.

"Why?" Sydney challenged with a narrowed brow half teasing, "Are you getting strippers?"

"No, I don't think so at least." He laughed seeing her reaction, "Eric is in charge of this, remember? He's my Best Man. I have no idea what he's planned. Why? Are you getting strippers?"

"No!" Sydney quickly added acting offended and then laughed, "At least I don't think so. Mom is the one planning our side of fun."

"Oh great." Vaughn rolled his eyes teasing, "That means you'll probably have half naked Polynesians or Swedes the size of the Incredible Hulk rubbing you down with hot oil somewhere."

"Vaughn!" She burst into laughter realizing how close he was to the truth. "You know my mother so well."

"Hey, sorry we're late." Weiss sighed, kissing Sydney, and then Katya on the cheek before zeroing in on Sophia in the corner of the kitchen helping Jack put things away and pinning her with a searing kiss and getting a whistle from Vaughn.

Kendall stood awkwardly in the doorway, taking in his surroundings and reveling in the fact that their _real_ home looked exactly like the one in the film, or rather the other way around. The set designer had perfected it down to the tiniest detail. Dixon buzzed by him with a big smile, happy to be having a Guy's Weekend out for the first time in years and slapped him on the back as he came up behind.

Marshall, Weiss, Dixon, Kendall, Jack, Vaughn, Julian, Mikhail, Sergei, Marcello, King Gustav and Prince Karl were rounding out the Bachelor Party. While Irina, Katya, Sydney, Sophia, Bella, Carrie, Queen Silvia, and the Princesses Victoria, Madeleine and Agent 'Vicki' Crane, who had grown closer to Sydney in the months they were all working together to bring down Sloane and Cuvee, rounded out the Bachelorette Party.

Dr. Peterson and Ann had happily agreed to come along and watch Lena, as Irina didn't want to be too far from her. She was still obsessive about whom she let take care of her baby. Since all of the family members who would normally watch her would be partying, Irina called the two next best people. They were going to be staying in the Suite across from Irina and Sydney in the _Venetian_ and care for the baby when the others were out and when Jack and or Irina were in, the Petersons would have time to themselves to dine in high style, take in shows, dance or whatever they wanted…all on the Empress. The couple eagerly welcomed a weekend away.

Kendall's gaze fell to Agent Crane's and she gave him a half-hearted smile at the strange situation they both found themselves in on opposite sides of the Bristow kitchen.

"Is everyone almost ready?" Irina entered behind him, startling Kendall with her presence and then smile. Lena bounced in her arms and then leaned forward with a big smiled towards Kendall, reaching for him.

Irina smiled and without asking if he wanted to, pushed the baby into his arms, kissing her daughter's cheek and sending a whiff of her intoxicating perfume right at Kendall who was in a daze.

"She likes you." Irina stepped back smiling seeing the baby facing Kendall in his arms and gurgling happily with baby babble pulling at his tie. "Oh, I almost forgot!" Irina turned quickly on her heal disappearing out the door and leaving Kendall with the squirming baby.

Lena buzzed her lips and reached her hands out to grab his cheeks with a smile, giggling and making Kendall smile.

"You really are a beautiful baby." He admitted softly and realized he'd been caught when Sydney smiled over at him.

"Mama mama!" Lena started squealing reaching out with her fingers and really squirming when she realized her Mama wasn't standing beside them anymore.

"Lena," Sydney called to her sister sweetly, getting up to find something of interest for her sister to keep her distracted. She found a banana on the counter and began to peel it, then broke it into two.

"Mama mama!" Lena squealed again on the verge of crying and Kendal was beginning to panic.

"Mama will be right back." Sydney stood before them as Kendall turned the baby towards her, facing her away from his body. "I promise. How about some banana?" She gave the baby a small section of the yellow fruit and her little face lit up instantly, digging in. Her two little teeth leaving a tiny trail across the banana and making Kendall and Sydney laugh. The chaos surrounding her didn't seem to bother Lena as she opened her mouth wider to take another bite of the banana Sydney was holding.

"_Sydney!_ Will you come here please?" Irina called from upstairs.

"Here." Sydney gave Kendall the banana with a smile and laughed at his wide eyes.

Kendall walked over and sat at the stool Sydney had vacated, setting Lena on the wooden surface in front of him to feed her the banana.

"What a difference a year makes, huh, Jack?" Kendall looked at the baby and then over at her father still cleaning up.

Jack looked at the baby Kendall was feeding and laughed realizing how ironic this situation was.

"I can still remember the smoke pouring out of your ears when I told you that Irina was pregnant with her." He nodded at Lena with a smile.

"Yeah. Some sacrifice in the _name of duty_, Jack." Kendall looked at him patronizingly before breaking into a wide grin when Lena leaned far forward with her mouth open trying to get the banana. "Your Daddy wasn't fooling anybody with that load of bull." He talked to Lena in baby talk that made Jack and everyone else present burst into laughter. "I would say that Panama was the most successful failure in CIA history." He turned his serious gaze to Jack as his hand brushed down the back of Lena's little head and neck.

They all knew what he meant. The CIA mission might have failed but the mission proved successful in the creation of Lena and with that, a second chance for all of them. All of their lives had changed drastically in one way or another since that mission with the domino effect.

"Dad," Sydney paused in the doorway, "Mom needs you upstairs a minute." She smiled with her big dimples seeing her father light up with just the mere mention of her mother.

"Ok," Jack wiped his hands in the towel, kissing her cheek on the way by.

Lena started pushing all her fingers together in a point, touching them off each other rapidly as she bounced and squealed mystifying Kendall as to what she was doing. Vicki had come to sit next to him, playing with Lena and was equally confused by the baby's strange hand actions. Lena was really bouncing now and drawing lots of attention with her baby babble.

"I don't know what you want, kiddo?" Kendall looked at her helplessly seeing her about to cry. "Sydney, your help please."

"She wants more banana." Sydney turned and smiled seeing her sister's hand movements.

"How do you know that?" Kendall furrowed his eyebrows looking at the baby.

"Because she's doing the sign for '_more_.'" Sydney started peeling the second half of the banana.

"The _sign_?" He asked more confused.

"My mom is teaching her _Baby Sign Language_. Watch." Sydney put the banana down on the counter and stood before Lena. "Lena, what do you want more of?" Sydney made the '_more_' sign and then opened her hands in question.

Lena made the 'more' sign again babbling and then petting the sides of one hand with the other like she was peeling a banana.

"Oh my god, that is awesome!" Weiss was transfixed on the baby communicating even though she couldn't yet talk. "Your mom taught her sign language?" He leaned over the counter while Sydney handed Kendall the rest of the banana and kissed the top of her sister's head proudly.

Sydney nodded, taking a seat on another stool.

"That is amazing." Vicki Crane stared at the baby in shock.

Kendall sat in silent awe looking at the baby and realizing the vast intelligence of a baby that couldn't even talk and yet tell her sister she wanted more banana.

"What else does she know?" He asked curious.

"Well, she is still pretty little to learn and retain much at eight months but she knows quite a few things." Sydney wiggled the baby's foot smiling. "You can just see her little mind working. My favorite is milk." She laughed.

"Why is that one funny?" Kendall looked at her curiously.

"Lena," Sydney ignored the question for now and gained her attention, "Milk?"

Lena's eyes lit up and she held her hands out and front of her, opening and closing her tiny hands into fists like she was milking a cow.

"Oh my god!" Weiss smiled in awe and marveled at the tiny girl as Sophia wrapped her arm over his back watching happily. "It's like she's milking a cow. That's hilarious!"

"But wait! That's funny but it's not why it's my favorite. Watch this!" Sydney giggled evil-like and addressed her sister again. "Lena, where is the milk?"

"Oh, this _is_ good." Julian smiled trying not to laugh as he leaned against the counter watching.

Lena sped up her hand movements with bright eyes and babbled excitedly. "Mama mama mama mama!" Over and over again and everyone including Kendall burst into hysterics in the kitchen.

"That is freaking hysterical!" Weiss howled, "She's the most intelligent baby I've ever seen!"

"Oh, course she is!" Sydney smiled and giggled, "She's my sister! The crazy thing is, Lena put the two together on her own. In her little mind, Mom equals nursing and milk! You should have seen my Mom's face the first time she did that!" Sydney started giggling again thinking of the shock wiped across Irina's face in that moment.

Lena leaned forward with her mouth open to take another tiny bite of the banana and Kendall was lost for her beautiful little smile and dark eyes when she flashed him her approving toothy grin.

When Irina stepped into the kitchen moments later, Lena immediately started 'milking the air' with her hand sign and babbling loudly, "Mama mama mama!"

Throwing everyone into another fit of hysterical laughter, though this time, in Irina's presence Kendall blushed when she came to take the baby shaking her head.

"You guys!" Irina scorned with a smile as she scooped up Lena and took the banana from Kendall he handed her to keep feeding the baby. "Which one of you started it this time?" She looked purposefully at Sydney, then Julian and Vaughn, all of them having been guilty of it at least once over the past week or two.

"Don't look at me, Mama!" Julian threw his hands up in the air in self-defense and Lena started 'milking' and chanting _Mama_ again upon hearing her brother say her favorite word. Another round of laughter went up at the baby's amazing timing.

"I did it." Sydney admitted with a giggle, "We were showing off her talents."

"Look who I found at the door." Katya smiled escorting the Petersons into the kitchen with a smile.

Weiss, Dixon, Vaughn, Sergei, Sydney and Julian all broke into song the moment they saw the doctor with smiles, "_And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson…Jesus loves you more then you will know…Whoa, whoa, whoa, God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson heaven holds a place for those who pray…"_ They sang between laughter making the good doctor blush mercilessly and Irina shake her head, biting her lip and trying not to laugh. The doctor would forever be linked with that song in reference to Irina from the film now.

"I always knew you said something under your breath that day." Irina teased him as the others continued to laugh, "I had no idea it was _that!_"

"Well, if you think that's funny, you've got to hear this!" Ann eagerly participated in her husband's humiliation. "Empress, where's your phone?"

"Ann," Irina handed her the cordless with a determined look and smile, "How many times must I ask you to please call me _Irina_ when we're in my home? I thought we'd gotten past this?"

"At least a million more, Empress. Sorry, but I can't help it since I saw the Coronation." Ann smirked at her, taking the phone and dialing a number.

"Ann, _don't!_" Ryan immediately realized what she was doing and looked at her horrified making the others confused until they heard the chorus of '_Mrs. Robinson'_ coming from his pocket and they all went hysterical again when he produced his cell phone.

"He has your number programmed to that song!" Ann laughed like the devil, handing the phone back to Irina who was now blushing and averting her eyes. "When you called to ask us to watch Lena this weekend our son yelled into the kitchen, '_Dad! Mrs. Robinson is calling!_' When he heard Ryan's cell ringing."

"So, I have to ask you now, after seeing the film doctor, did you take Irina's advice on how to ask Ann out?" Dixon smiled and everyone laughed, looking at the doctor intrigued.

"Yes, actually." Ryan admitted softly with a smile, looking over at his wife. "I stopped throwing paper wads at her." He added causing everyone to laugh and Jack to take interest when he walked in behind them.

"Seriously, thoughm" Ann began smiling at her husband and then at Irina, "Hearing and seeing the exchange with your husband that day, was the most romantic thing either of us had seen in our lives."

"We went out for coffee that night." Ryan looked at his wife adoringly. "And we began re-reading _Romeo and Juliet_ together. This time, I was really paying attention to what was being said. Having no idea or real understanding of the text until I heard your husband use it in its appropriate form in real-life, in relation to you." He smiled at Irina, "And then, I began to see how beautiful the words really were and couldn't stop myself from thinking about them in relation to Ann."

"The first time he ever kissed me," Ann's eyes shown bright with unshed tears as she smiled softly looking from him to Irina, "Was the night after your funeral. We had gone together and in sharing our love for you, our inspiring brilliant teacher. We took your last words to us, to heart."

Irina's eyes began to fill with tears as well, smiling and listening to the impact her teaching had on their life.

"I stole a move from your husband and repeated his words to you that night to Ann, and really felt, for the first time, that I knew exactly what Shakespeare meant when he wrote them. The man was a mad fool in love and so was I." Ryan smiled, leaning in and kissing his wife's lips earning him a collective 'awe' from their captivated audience.

Katya stepped aside with a smile seeing Jack and let him sneak up beside Irina, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her cheek with a smile.

"You were the most insanely in-love _married_ couple I had ever seen." Ryan smiled at the two before them, "And I'm happy to see that hasn't changed."

"And it never will." Irina turned her face to look Jack in the eyes when she responded, kissing his lips softly as they both earned an earnest 'awe'.

* * *

_Las Vegas, Nevada_

The Imperial jet landed in Vegas exactly forty minutes after take-off and everyone was ready to party.

Upon landing, they met up with the Swedish Royals and headed to their respective rooms to get ready. They would all be meeting at a club for dinner together and then would separate to begin a night of debauchery on each front.

"Oh Mom," Sydney giggled, blushing and shaking her head when Irina appeared beside her in front of the bathroom mirror. "That dress… Dad's going to have a heart-attack knowing you're going to be out on the Strip in Vegas wearing that; without him!" She laughed, eyeing her mother's read dress again.

The corners of Irina's mouth turned up in a coy smile, shrugging slightly and picking up her brush.

"It's his favorite." Irina smiled her famous enigmatic grin with laughing eyes thinking about Jack's reaction to the dress she knew would come.

"Well, yeah! His and every other male in the world after seeing you tearing up the streets of Seville on a motorcycle in it!" Sydney laughed shaking her head. "You're so crazy!" She smiled widely, her dimples deepening while smoothing the fabric of her own dress, "This night is going to be insanity, I can just tell!"

"Is everyone ready?" Irina smiled as she finished injecting herself with insulin. This dress didn't allow for her to wear her new pump, and so it was back to manual injections.

"Yes, I'd say that we're all ready and looking gorgeous if I may say so." Katya smiled at the mass of beautiful women in the room in their fantastic dresses and heels. Irina's bodyguards gave appreciative smiles and nods agreeing with Katya from their positions around the room.

"I, for one, am most excited! It's been far too long since I've had a night out with just 'the girls.'" Bella smiled, reaching for her purse.

"No need for that, Bella." Irina stopped her by grasping her forearm lightly with a smile, "Everything is on me, and believe me when I tell you with what I have planned for the evening, there is no 'room' for a purse." Her eyes danced with mischievousness.

"What are we doing tonight, Mom?" Sydney saw that look in her mother's eyes and wondered for the millionth time, what insanity they were bound to get themselves into led by Irina.

"You'll have to wait and see, Sweetheart." Irina winked at her and went to the safe, removing a black pouch and handing it to Pavlov, a gorgeous muscular bodyguard with piercing green eyes.

"Why do I have a feeling, that with the look in your eyes and the dangerous dress you're wearing that we will undoubtedly find ourselves in trouble this evening?" Katya eyed her sister handing over what was obviously a massive amount of cash, laughing.

"You have no idea. Though _'what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas_." Irina threw her head back laughing, as the others looked at each other intrigued and nervous. "Now," She smiled leading the way out of the room, "We have one stop to make before we meet the 'boys' for dinner."

* * *

Irina stopped one door down and knocked softly three times.

When the door opened, Dr. Ryan Peterson stood in silence with his mouth hanging open at the beautiful sight before him. When he stayed like that for more then a few moments, gawking at Irina and eyeing her slowly from head to high heels and back up again, swallowing hard as his eyes fell to the giant slit down the middle of the dress, Irina interrupted him while the other women giggled over his reaction.

"Ryan, is Ann ready?" Irina smiled warmly, flipping her hair over her bare shoulder. "Ryan." She called out again when she still couldn't snap him out of his trance.

"I'm ready!" Ann called from behind the door and pulled it open, seeing her husband in a stupor and the reason why when she saw Irina before them.

"Dear Lord in Heaven, you're breathtaking in that dress." She smiled in awe and then giggled when she saw Ryan still standing there in shock. "_Men!_" She grabbed his face and kissed him.

"Wha-he-aa…" He seemed to snap out of it but couldn't formulate any words and the women laughed harder.

"Thank you for letting us steal Ann from you tonight." Irina smiled and reached for the younger woman's hand, pulling her into the hallway.

They had decided on the plane that Ann should join them one night, and in exchange, Ryan would join the guys the following night, not wanting them to pass up on the fun. "And thank you again, for watching my beautiful baby."

Ryan's only response was to nod, still too wide-eyed and dumbstruck looking at the woman in the dress before him.

"_Bye!_" They all chimed in together, and giggled as they walked away.

As they were walking towards the doors through the casino and to the waiting limo, the group was catching the attention of every person there, especially the gorgeous woman leading them wearing the form fitting revealing dress. The sound of glasses breaking as men dropped them when they passed only made the gorgeous entourage smile more. By the time they made it across the casino floor, they had a following of at least thirty men, young and old.

"Oh my god!" Sydney suddenly stopped and released her hand from her mother's as she took a double take of the blonde woman sitting at the _Wheel of Fortune_ slot machine. "Dr. Barnett?"

"Sydney!" The woman whipped around and stared with a blank face at the beautiful young woman moving towards her. "What are you doing here?" She stood and embraced Sydney.

"My Bachelorette party. What are you doing here?" Sydney smiled and cocked her head to the side taking in the beautiful navy blue dress her former '_shrink_' was wearing.

"Who is that?" Katya whispered to Irina who was eyeing the exchange with curiosity.

"The CIA's Head Shrink." Vicki offered smiling nervously. "Sydney started seeing her after you…" Her words died on her lips and the smile left her face immediately realizing what she was about to say.

"After I shot her." Irina smiled softly at the young woman, letting her know it was ok. "Sydney and Jack, both, told me about her."

"I am here for my Class Reunion but I left. I couldn't stand those people then and I can't stand them now!" She smiled laughing, still holding onto Sydney's arm. "Sydney, you look so beautiful and happy." The doctor could see the genuine happiness that was emitting from her former troubled agent.

"I am." Sydney smiled warmly, remembering all the talks with the woman she had protested seeing in the beginning. "So much has changed since I first began seeing you. Mostly my relationship with my mother and my father… and Vaughn." She broke out laughing realizing that 'everything' had changed.

"Yes, and you finally found your peace. I'm happy for you all." She squeezed Sydney's hand.

"_Oh!_ You have to meet my mother!" Sydney quickly blinked back any tears and excitedly pulled on the doctor's hand, knowing the two had never officially met.

Dr. Barnett hardly had time to comprehend what was happening before she was standing directly in front of Irina.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet, Dr. Barnett… Dr. Barnett, this is my mother!" Sydney smiled excitedly.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," Irina extended her hand to the doctor with a soft smile. "Jack and Sydney have told me so much about you."

Standing before the woman now, Judy Barnett could only think of one thing. _'That Jack Bristow had been 'right on' when he said that Irina Derevko was 'extraordinary.'_ Seeing her on the black and white video feed from her cell when she would analyze the conversations between Jack and Irina and Irina and Sydney, she knew the woman was beautiful, but in person, she was '_breathtaking_.'

"Likewise, I've heard a great deal about you as well." Dr. Barnett took her hand in hers.

"Not all good, I'm sure." Irina smiled and laughed bringing a smile to Dr. Barnett's face.

"From the beginning, there was never a doubt in my mind… as to how much Jack and Sydney loved you." Dr. Barnett constructed her words carefully as to not break patient-doctor confidentiality and still give Irina her own opinion of what happened.

The response surprised both Irina and Sydney, who smiled realizing that Dr. Barnett was correct. They may have spewed words of hate about Irina, but that was just a mask for how much they really missed and loved her.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person, Your Majesty." Dr. Barnett gave a slight bow of her head remembering whom she was talking to.

"Please, call me, _Irina_. Tonight we are not Royals, but _wild women!"_ She clasped Dr. Barnett's hands with both of hers. "Please say you'll join us?"

"Please, call me, Judy." She looked from Irina to Sydney who was smiling and nodding eagerly, happy to add another woman to their group. "And I'd love to join you! I'll undoubtedly have a great deal more fun with you, then with those stuffy people!" Her adrenaline started pumping immediately, knowing from these people's case files and speaking with them about their missions, she was in for one hell-of-a-night.

"Great!" Sydney smiled re-linking arms with Irina, feeling the need to '_touch her'_ after seeing Barnett and being reminded of how far she had come with her mother. "Dr. Barnett… Judy, sorry." She apologized for the name slip and moved her hair over her ear. "I would like to introduce you to my Aunt Katya, cousin Sophia, future mother-in-law Bella, and our good friends Silvia, Victoria, Madeleine, and Carrie and Vicki, both I'm sure you know." She paused to smile at the timid woman who'd removed her glasses and put in contacts looking beautiful and each gave the doctor a small smile. "And last but not least, Ann. My mother's former student and friend!"

"_Ann?_ From the film?" Judy's eyebrows rose as the beautiful woman nodded proudly, smiling from her to Irina.

"In the flesh." Ann laughed feeling her smile grow when Irina smiled at her proudly.

"My best student." Irina grasped her hand smiling, "We should keep moving though. We're starting to gain an audience and the 'boys' are waiting for us."

The group of thirty followers had quickly turned into at least a hundred.

"The boys?" Judy asked curiously with a smile.

"We're meeting my dad and Vaughn and all of the other men in the Bachelor Party for dinner and drinks." Sydney giggled, following the security guiding them through the crowd.

As they slid into the limo, Sydney sat beside Irina and across from Judy, who studied their interaction with a smile on her face. The loving way Sydney's fingers laced with her mother's sitting closely together, the glow that surrounded Sydney whenever she looked at her mother. Judy was thrilled for the formerly tormented agent. The doctor was also very excited to 'see' the firsthand interaction between Jack Bristow and Irina Derevko. Something she had imagined since the moment the woman turned herself into the CIA, and Jack called her, '_Laura.'_

* * *

"What the heck is taking them so long? I'm starving!" Weiss grumbled looking around the beautiful _Ghost Bar_, twirling in his lime green bar stool and people watching the massive group of partygoers.

"They're women. They naturally take longer and are almost never on time!" Mikhail laughed as did the others and took another sip of his cocktail.

"Sydney's usually always on time. Occupational hazard." Vaughn countered smiling thinking about his bride-to-be.

"My girls take a long time." Gustav smiled laughing and taking another long drink of his clear vodka.

"So do mine!" Marcelo added laughing. "Katya said she was brought up that way as to make a '_grand entrance."_

**_*Groovejet*_**

"Grand entrance, _indeed_…" Gustav smiled as the breath was sucked out of him eyeing Irina and the entourage of women behind her. The sway of their hips, the purpose in their stride, the way their eyes locked onto the men's. These women were a force to be reckoned with.

"Whoa…" Kendall's eyes were popping out of his head seeing Irina in the red dress in real life for the first time and Jack had a hard time swallowing watching her movements and seeing her seductive smile.

"My God, man. My God." Kendall clasped Jack's shoulder and squeezed when Irina was just a few feet away.

"Good evening." Irina smiled sweetly, taking the vodka tonic mix out of Jack's hand and downing the last of it. "Sorry we're late, we picked up a friend in the lobby." She threw her hair over her shoulder as she looked back at Judy Barnett.

Jack's eyes were too busy scanning her body, inches from his face to hear anything she said. His mind instantly conjuring up images of the last time she had worn it, and him removing it later. Irina was thinking much the same of her husband, and how incredibly sexy he looked in the black dress shirt and slacks.

"Irina, I've just got to say, you look unbelievable in that dress!" Weiss whistled and smiled shaking his head as Sophia wrapped her arms around his middle. "You all look incredible but, you, Siberian Tiger… I think I may burst into flames if I touch you. _Smokin'!_ " He added, touching her bare shoulder with his finger tips then pulling them back as if burned making a sizzling noise and everyone laughed and Irina shook her head and smiled at him enigmatically.

"Siberian Tiger?" Silvia asked innocently, enchanted by these people.

"Her Majesty's Code Name in the field." Weiss offered with a slight bow and smirked mercilessly at Irina as another round of drinks arrived for everyone. "She's quite the animal in action."

"So I've heard." Silvia smiled at Irina and then laughed, knowing as a woman what that really meant.

"This place is incredible!" Sophia looked around at the gorgeous _Ghost Bar_ on top of the hotel. "It's so beautiful! And what a view!" She gushed looking out the massive glass windows at the entire Strip below.

"It is my understanding that the hottest clubs in all of Las Vegas, are at _The Palms_." Julian smiled looking around at all the beautiful women packing the club.

Irina smiled happily at Julian, shaking her head and grasped Jack's hand, pulling him from the stool.

"Come. Let's eat and drink! We've got a busy night ahead of us!" Irina led them through some doors and into the VIP section of another club called _Rain_, to eat.

* * *

**_*Pretty Piece of Flesh *_**

"My god, this place is incredible!" Weiss yelled over the loud music thumping below them on the dance floor.

"It reminds me of _Anastasia!_" Sophia yelled back as they made their way to their section, smiling at Sergei and then Sydney and Vaughn.

"This club reminds you of your grandmother?" Dixon asked confused, guiding them into the alcove.

"No!" Sophia laughed at the cute look on his misunderstood face. "It's a club in St. Petersburg! It's named after our grandmother! Aunt Rina owns it!" She yelled, nodding towards her beautiful aunt across the table taking her seat. "I've spent a great deal of my youth there!" She giggled thinking about all the wild times she'd had going ballistic on the dance floor.

The waitress arrived to take their orders and with the effects of the first few drinks already taking their toll, the rigid bodies began to loosen and move with the music, enjoying their atmosphere.

"Oh!" Dixon yelled back over the music with a smile, seeing Weiss lacing his fingers with Sophia. "Sydney," He turned his attention to his former partner, "Doesn't this music remind you of Mexico City?" He saw her brows knit in confusion, "When we went to rescue Marshall from the evil doctor?"

"Oh yeah!" Sydney smiled, laughing upon remembering while everyone else's looks turned to confusion and intrigue. "_Are you ready to party_?" Sydney yelled in a deep voice, repeating Dixon's words that night and then burst into hysterics.

"Alright, stop making fun of me." Dixon blushed and reached for his drink laughing.

"That was about as good as Marshall's, _'Hi. I'm Marshall Flinkman, and I'm here to rescue you!_" Sydney laughed, falling into Vaughn and then seeing Marshall blush, leaned across the table and kissed his cheek, really making him blush.

"When was this?" Irina asked smiling, seeing this memory bringing a smile to Sydney's face and one to Jack's as well. Her hand resting just below Jack's knee as they sat side-by-side, gave him a gentle squeeze with the question and sending electricity burning through him.

"The same time you were finding and closing the access point, not to mention locating the NSA facility." Kendall looked up at her with heavy eyes, and a slight smile taking another sip of his whiskey.

"_Ah_," Irina smiled with a knowing nod, and re-crossed her legs in front of him, the slit exposing her leg was dizzying.

"Thank god for, Sydney and her perfect timing. Dr. Evil was about to kill me! I hate that guy!" Marshall visibly shuddered and took another drink.

"I wasn't very fond of him either, after he tortured me and pulled my teeth. I couldn't eat anything hard for a month." Sydney shrugged shaking her head and running the glass rim of the martini against her lip in thought while the Royal Family of Sweden sat in silence and awe hearing these tales.

"That's when she came into the office for the first time. All bloody with this insane red hair!" Weiss laughed, nudging Sydney and making her giggle in the laugh they all loved.

"I thought it was hilarious when you encoded 'bite-me,' as your answer." Irina laughed remembering with pride as she watched her daughter on the video feed. "I was so proud of you."

Sydney smiled happily at hearing her mother's pride but in that moment, came to a realization.

"Dr. Evil worked for you… _You_ had me tortured? Will? And Marshall?" Her eyes flitted over to the bumbling man, shrinking in the booth beside her staring at Irina now.

The rest of the group sat frozen seeing the look passing between Sydney and Irina, then Sark and the question that lay on the table as an old wound ripped open.

"I never had you tortured, Sweetheart. _Dr. Evil_, as you call him, was employed by Cuvee, not I." She looked deeply into Sydney's eyes seeing the pain and confusion there. "He was responsible for that even though we were working together at the time. I was not in the country then. Remember? If I had been there, I would have found a way to help you escape."

Sydney instantly flinched with regret and everyone else did as well hearing the name '_Cuvee_' roll off Irina's tongue and knowing what that name meant for her.

"I know you would have, and you did help me escape, later. I'm sorry."

"No, its ok, Sydney. You have nothing to be sorry for." Irina reached across the table and squeezed Sydney's hand with a smile, feeling guilty that her daughter, was tortured by the man, on more then one occasion and she was powerless to stop it.

Judy was watching the interaction with rapt attention.

"Now, lets go dance!" Irina suddenly smiled brightly, standing and taking Sydney's hand then grabbing Katya's, pulling them both up with her in a rapid transformation, determined not to let anything bring this night down.

**_*Delerium Silence*_**

"Rina, you can't be serious!" Katya yelled over the music grabbing Sophia's hand who in turn, grabbed Weiss's who then grabbed Victoria's who grabbed Vaughn's who grabbed Madeleine's and so on until Kendall, Jack, Marcelo, Mikhail, Silvia, Dixon and Dr. Barnett were the only ones not on the dance floor below.

"Oh my god! It's been years since I danced like this!" Katya laughed as they made their way to the center of the packed dance floor and Irina turned looking at her sharply with a knowing gleam in her eyes. "Well ok, not danced like this outside my bedroom!" She corrected herself and then laughed when Irina and the others did. "Thank god for the vodka!" Knowing that without the alcohol she wouldn't be moving so free and easy like this in public.

The water jets started shooting up around them, creating a thick mist around them and cooling off the hot bodies as they moved wildly, laughing.

"I cannot believe- they are actually down there dancing to this wild insanity!" Kendall shook his head with hand on hip, a playful smile on his lips looking down to the wild ones below.

"They're having fun." Judy went up beside him, leaning on the steel railing and smiling while Sydney whipped her head around, long hair flying behind her. "They need to have more fun."

"Hmm." Kendall snorted and nodding agreeing catching Barnett's eyes.

"You should try it sometime, Paul." She smiled coyly at him, using his first name and stunning him and those around them.

"You're one to talk, Judy. I don't see you down there 'shaking your groove thing' with them either." Kendall smirked and downed the last of his drink.

"Me?" Judy threw her head back laughing, "I'm not twenty anymore and I certainly don't have the body Irina does to be down there '_shaking my groove thing'_ as you say."

"I don't know about that. Looks pretty good to me." Kendall eyed her appreciatively then quickly turned his head towards the dancers down below, unable to believe he'd just said that out loud.

"Look at Agent Crane!" Dixon laughed astonished when he saw the normally almost 'nerdy' agent going crazy on the dance floor, having the time of her life.

"Well, you know what they say? Alcohol makes you lose your inhibitions and just let go!" Mikhail laughed nodding towards his own wife, laughing with her son as they danced together.

"They are having so much fun!" Silvia wrapped her arms around Gustav's waist, and watched her children enjoying themselves like this for the first time, without royal pressures. "Irina and the Romanovs have certainly changed our prospective on how to live life!" She laughed watching Irina dancing wildly with her own daughter below, huge smiles on both she and Sydney's faces.

"Rina has always known how to have a good time!" Mikhail smiled, happily watching his friend with her family and his below. "Even as a toddler she was the life of the party!" He laughed watching the crowd of people grouping around the beautiful wild women and men.

"She's certainly brought _'My Katya'_ back to life." Marcelo smiled, leaning on the railing and observing his wife dancing wildly. "The woman I married returned fully, when Irina came back into her life. The change has been dramatic." He sighed with a wistful smile thinking about how sad his wife had been for all those years, a part of her always lonely and 'missing' without her sister in her life.

"I know the feeling." Jack answered somberly, sipping his drink and all eyes darted to his as he watched his beautiful wife below.

Judy turned and ran her hand down his back with a soft smile of understanding when his eyes met hers. "So why aren't you down there dancing with your beautiful wife, Jack?"

"Because look how happy Sydney is." Jack turned his eyes back to the dance floor and smiled widely, "She's having the time of her life with Irina right now. This is definitely one of those _Mommy-and-Me_ moments and I don't want to interrupt that. They both need as many of these moments as they can get and I am ecstatic, just to stand back and watch them together like this again." He paused a moment seeing Julian laughing as he moved over beside Irina and Sydney, all of them going crazy dancing and laughing together. "And Julian, too. He's never had the opportunity to see the '_real_' Irina like this and needs this just as much as Sydney does." He was seeing more and more of the young man and '_boy_' inside Julian the more they spent time together. He believed more than ever, that with the love and affection the blonde was denied as a child, restored to him through his family, Julian would no doubt be an outstanding man, husband, father and son. He already was.

Barnett smiled widely and squeezed his upper arm, "That's very sweet, Jack." The man before her had truly changed since learning the truth about Irina and making a life with her again.

"Yes, very sweet, Jack." Silvia nodded in agreement with the doctor smiling madly at the man before her. "What's your excuse for not dancing with them, Marcelo?" She zeroed in on the handsome Italian.

"Same reason as, Jack." His smile widened catching their faces of surprise, "Katya needs more '_girly alone time'_ with her sister and our daughter and like Jack, I love to watch them together." He shrugged. "The Romanov/Derevko women are fascinating to behold." Marcelo laughed and everyone else did, too.

"That they are." Jack nodded, swirling his drink and feeling his heart swell with love for his girls as he saw them all hand-in-hand, making their way off the dance floor led by Irina back towards them.

Their food had arrived the same time they did and everyone talked excitedly about how much fun they had dancing and who did what to make them all laugh, everyone enjoying themselves immensely.

They parted company with everyone already riding a buzz and vowing not to spy on each other.

The women going into one elevator, the men in the other and just before the doors closed, Irina in her buzzed seductress mode, bent her knee through the large slit in her dress and slowly exposed a dangerous amount of leg to Jack across the way; laughing hysterically with the other women upon seeing Jack and the rest of the men's reactions before doors cut off their line of sight.

"Russian tease!" Jack muttered, pounding the elevator button repeatedly with pent up sexual tension and made the guys break out into their own fits of laughter.

They arrived just in time to see the last pair of someone's sexy legs disappear into the limo before taking off down the street. Sydney poked her head out of the open sunroof, hair blowing wildly in the wind and blew them a kiss before falling back inside laughing hysterically.

"I can only imagine, what kind of trouble they are going to get into tonight." Vaughn tried to hold back his laughter shaking his head thinking about his fiancée and her party as they stepped into their own limo.

"It's not what kind of trouble they are going to get into, that you should be thinking about, Buddy, but your own!" Weiss slapped him simultaneously on the chest and back with an evil laugh.

* * *

**_*I'm A Slave 4 U*_**

Jack sipped uncomfortably on his straight vodka while a pair of naked legs squatted in front of him, then turned shoving a bare ass just inches from his face, spreading her legs and smiling at him through the opening between them. _'Irina would simply kill him if she knew where they were.'_ He thought to himself.

"I cannot believe, you brought me to a strip club!" Vaughn shouted over the loud music all the while his eyes were focused on the blonde girl sliding down the pole in front of him wearing only tassels on her ta-ta's and a tiny g-string.

"It's your Bachelor party, man!" Weiss shouted happily stuffing a bunch of bills into another blonde's g-string when she thrust her ass in his face. "You're supposed to go wild before your last days as a free man ends!"

"Did you forget that my future father-in-law and your boss are with us, too?" Vaughn shouted back even as his head swayed to the movements of the stripper twirling her knockers in circles making the tassels move.

"Ah, Kendall's been drinking like a fish and looks like he's enjoying this immensely," Weiss motioned toward the bald man currently getting a lap dance from twins. "I think I may even get a raise!" He laughed, before averting his eyes towards Jack who looked like stone, "And Jack…well Jack, _Jack is Jack_!" He burst out laughing watching the brunette who was now trying very hard to get Jack's attention by hanging upside down on her pole in front of him, spreading her legs out towards him while her hair swayed to the ground. "Enjoy yourself man! Everybody else is!" He squeezed Vaughn's shoulder and motioned around the large stage they were all sitting in front of that was shaped in a 'U.'

Jack couldn't believe that Weiss had the balls to take them to a strip club. Sure, he'd been to a few before. Many actually after he learned the truth about his wife and his friends at the Agency thought it was a sure fire way to get him 'over her,' but it was never the same as in his earlier college days, before he met the love of his life. The last strip club he'd been to being the one in Bangkok with Irina, actually, when she went wild with her knives on Stuka. She wasn't the one taking her clothes off that night, but all eyes were still on her, especially his.

"Jack!" Weiss suddenly fell into him laughing, and hugging his rigid shoulders laughing. "You've had a beautiful naked brunette trying to get your attention for the last ten minutes! She's working hard for those dollars, my man!" Weiss took a few bills out of his own stash and slipped them into the girl's g-string with a wink. "And you're just sitting here staring out into space! What's your problem?"

Mikhail, Marcelo, Gustav and Vaughn were all watching the interaction laughing.

"There is only _one_ beautiful brunette who can get my attention when naked, Mr. Weiss." Jack looked at the woman slathered up in oil thrusting her chest towards them and pointed, "And she… is not it!" He finally cracked a smile when the other men went into hysterics.

"Come on, Jack. What Irina doesn't know, won't hurt her! _What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas_, remember?" Weiss laughed, downing the last of his drink and signaling for another. "You can't honestly tell me that those 'wild women' we saw in the elevator and driving off in that limo aren't following those same guidelines tonight!" He slanted his eyebrows with a smile and Jack narrowed his in thought. "They are probably stuffing bills down some hot studs' g-string right now!"

"He's right, Jack. Knowing my wife," Marcelo laughed, enjoying this man's night out, "She has probably blown a thousand dollars already on a stripper named Hercules!" He laughed shaking his head, "Not that I mind, because I'll be the one she's coming home to tonight... all wired up from her encounter with '_the Gods_."

Everyone burst into laughter knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"I can't imagine Silvia in a strip club." Gustav added watching the two women on stage rubbing against each other, skin on skin, and then burst out laughing.

"Just enjoy! It's not like you're cheating on her." Weiss slapped him on the back and handed the twins who'd just left Kendall a hundred dollars a piece to give Jack a joint lap dance. "Marshall seems to be enjoying himself." Weiss laughed hysterically looking back at the man surrounded by mostly naked woman, fawning over him and ruffling his hair.

"So, what are your names?" Jack asked uncomfortably as one twin scooted her bare ass slowly towards his crotch and the other flashing her naked breasts in his face, feeling the need to say something, anything he was so uncomfortable in that moment.

"Ivana," The twin on his lap pressed her chest into his, the same time she brushed against his crotch making him jump.

"You're Russian? Fabulous." Jack whispered sarcastically and swallowed hard feeling his mouth going dry at the irony in that moment and the rest of the Bachelor Party laughed.

"Irina," The other purred in his ear as she, too sat on his thigh and gyrated towards him, sliding her practically naked body up his leg to join her twin answering and Jack gasped and started to breathe faster. "You know," Her accent kissed his ear, "Like the Tsar."

Jack sucked in a sharp breath hearing her name and unknowing reference to his wife.

"Oh dear god," He rolled his head back and squint his eyes shut when he felt himself being teased into arousal, with the unexpected images that name and title brought into his mind combined with their touch, Russian accent and hot breath on his skin.

**_*Blue*_**

"This must be some kind of sign," Jack decided when the music changed to the song from that night in Bangkok, that song from the movie, _Basic Instinct_ and he tried desperately to think of things to dampen his thoughts and was succeeding... until he opened his eyes and a sudden flash of naked breast sway in front of face followed by a glimpse of red.

"Irina…" He gasped when her eyes met his as she and the others cut across the floor, pausing briefly and cocking her head to the side seeing the naked women giving her husband a lap dance.

"Yes, handsome?" The stripper whispered into his ear with her thick accent while grinding her self against his leg, mistaken in thinking he was talking to her.

"Oh my god! Daddy?" Sydney stopped in her tracks horrified at the sight before her and then tried to stifle her giggles at seeing his wide eyes looking at her mother in front of her after being caught.

Irina felt a sudden surge of jealously run through and wanted to tear their limbs off for touching her husband. She saw the look of fear flash in Jack's eyes at being caught and saw the rest of the men in the Bachelor Party staring at them with amusement and horror. She decided in that moment, that two could play this game and gave a nod and dangerous smile to Jack before following the club manager to their VIP table where they were allowed to 'touch' the strippers.

Jack gulped and felt any arousal deflate instantly knowing he was about to eat crow. Every man in the club, now turned their attention from the strippers to the gorgeous women who were obviously High-Rollers, or 'Whales' as they were called in _Vegasese_, if they could afford the VIP section of tables.

"Holy shit! She's going to the VIP section! I tried to get us in there but was told it was already occupied! Now I guess we know why!" Weiss laughed hysterically and slapped Vaughn on the back, eyeing Jack who was now ignoring the strippers on his lap and looking at his wife in the dark across the room.

"Ok, ok! That's enough!" Jack threw his hands up and gently began pushing the girls off, handing them each another hundred dollars just to go away, pissed off at himself for not following his own 'basic instincts' and signs flying at him that screamed, '_Irina!_' He downed another glass of vodka and waited for a moment, staring at Irina who wasn't paying him any attention anymore and instead, her focus was now on the muscular men stripping in front of them. When he saw her wink appreciatively at the gorgeous ripped man in front of her and slowly slide a hundred dollar bill into the front of his g-string, Jack flew out of the chair and over to the stage chair he had sat in previously.

"I can't believe they're at a strip club!" Vaughn's chest was heaving unhappily as he watched two male strippers that resembled Zeus making a _Sydney Sandwich_ while she screamed in delight and the other women stuffed the strippers g-strings with money. "She told me no strippers and here she is at a strip club!"

"Well look where you are, Buddy." Weiss smirked and pointed to the naked oily girl in front of them.

"Yeah, but we're not touching them!" Vaughn grasped at any straw as he felt the jealously wash over him seeing Sydney run her hands down the brown haired stripper's washboard abs from behind as the other stripper stepped up behind her and thrust his pelvis into her backside making all the women scream loudly and roll in their chairs with laughter and fan themselves.

"Are they still watching?" Irina asked through clenched teeth and a smile to Silvia.

"Oh yes, all eyes on us." The Swedish Queen answered back through her own clenched teeth and smile, enjoying this 'game,' seeing the jealousy in her own husband's eyes. _Men vs. Women_.

"Well, let's up the wager." Irina smiled dangerously, snapping her fingers and out of nowhere five other male strippers and three females joined them in the VIP area. She lifted her hand and two gorgeous males brought her up into the mix and began rubbing seductively around her, encasing her with their naked flesh as the strippers aroused each other and the women watching.

Jack's knuckles turned white as his fingers went into a fist seeing his wife and daughter holding the attention of everyone in the club now. When one man went down on his knees in front of Irina in a very seductive way, she threaded her hands through his hair and looked up and smiled at Jack across the room.

"Ohhh, Buddy, I think you're in trouble." Weiss couldn't contain his snicker seeing the heated stare Irina was giving off and feeling incredibly turned on by the whole scene. "I think she's pissed about your lap dance."

"The lap dance, I didn't want! And that you paid for! This is your fault!" Jack turned to him sharply and Weiss stepped back and then felt safe to laugh with the others.

"Jack, calm down. Notice first, that your wife is still smiling, though I have no doubt she could probably kill someone wearing that same smile," Weiss shook his head grinning, "So I guess that doesn't count, but hey! Let us remember this! She can't be mad at you for being in a strip club when she's here, too!"

**_*Boys*_**

"You're right." Jack's eyes took on a dangerous gleam of his own, deciding he'd play this game if she wanted to. He reached into his pocket and handed each man another grand each.

"_Whoa! Jack!_" Kendall looked at him surprised and saw the determination in his face when he started motioning for strippers to come over to them for lap and pole dances, flashing his cash. "This is a lot of cash."

"No, this is!" Jack flipped open his wallet again and removed a massive amount passing it out with flaring nostrils seeing the man centimeters from Irina's neck making his way down her chest without touching.

"Shit!" Sergei laughed looking at the money in his hand and gladly accepted the red head giving him a lap dance.

"Irina!" Jack called loud enough to get the stripper's attention, and his wife's.

When the stripper responded and sashayed her naked body over to him, he saw Irina's eyes flash with fire with the realization that the stripper's name was also her own. Jack smiled and spread his legs out, leaning back and feeling brave with the affects of alcohol happily accepted the beautiful stripper.

"Oh Jeezus, Jack. The man is trying to commit suicide or something." Marcelo laughed at the ballsy man beside him, baiting Irina.

"Oh that son-of-a…" Irina hissed under her breath, keeping her smile in place. She smiled back at Jack with eyes locked and slapped the ass of the stripper in front of her hard, making it ring around the room and leaving a red mark.

Kendall jumped, flinching as they watched the stripper showdown between Jack and Irina.

"_Oooh!_" Weiss flinched with a smile when Irina smacked the ass of the other guy grinding on her. "Dubey said she liked it rough. That guy she's spanking kind of looks like him, don't you think, Mike?" Weiss suddenly found everyone's eyes flashing to his though one pair burning holes through him: Jack's. "_Oh shit!_ Jack… I didn't… _fuck!_" He cursed under his breath when Jack looked away with homicide in his eyes at being reminded of his wife's former lover and the fact that the man she was spanking now, looked a lot like him. "Why is it that I seem to have no censorship on what I say when I am drinking?" He slapped his head repeatedly.

"Who's Dubey?" Mikhail asked innocently in confusion to his son and Weiss. He was finding the showdown between his best friend and her husband hilarious.

"Irina's former lover. Built like _The Hulk_." Weiss talked out of the side of his mouth in his drunken state as if that some how deferred Jack from hearing them and gestured with his hands and arms mimicking Dubey's massive muscles.

"_Oh_," Mikhail's eyebrows shot up and then turned to Jack, both catching each other's eyes and quickly looked away, knowing 'he' was one of those former lovers and not wanting Jack to begin looking at him with the same homicidal stare.

The girls were having a deliriously marvelous time bumping and grinding with their sexy counterpoints and in true male fashion, the guys were jealous of the men they saw grinding with their women, and turned on by the women grinding with their women.

"Your parents are having a stripper showdown, cousin!" Sophia yelled over the music laughing as she, and Victoria grinded with Sydney in the middle of their multi-person sandwich.

"I know! I'm trying not to notice!" Sydney shook her head with eyes closed laughing. "They are hysterical! Both, always pushing each others' buttons!"

"Which undoubtedly leads to some _hot_ make-up sex!" Sophia laughed hysterically when Sydney screamed covering her eyes and laughing.

"Rina… I hope you know what you're doing." Katya smiled in a singsong voice over her shoulder when she saw the showdown with Jack escalating.

"Oh, I do." Irina laughed throwing her hair over one shoulder exposing her sexy muscular back to the stripper, who looked like Adonis behind her. "I've always known how to push Jack's buttons...and it's just a game."

When Jack saw the God-like man trailing his fingers down his wife's back seductively while blowing in her ear he inhaled sharply with nostrils flaring again. "I'll give you $2,000 dollars if I can touch you right now!" He looked into the stripper Irina's eyes. Her eyes went wide in surprise and then looked to the bouncer giving him a signal and smiling at Jack, holding out her hand.

When Jack put the money in her hand, he heard Marcelo's voice beside him.

"Jack… what are you doing?" He asked slowly while the rest of the men's eyes went wide when Jack forcefully grabbed the strippers ass cheeks and pulled her down onto him, keeping his eyes on Irina, his wife, the entire time.

"Weren't you the one who just told me," Jack inhaled sharply again when the strippers chest pressed into his, "About the benefits of strippers and getting your 'wife wired?"

"Ah… yes, that was what I said… but I've never played _Stripper Battleship_ with her either and so, I have no idea the outcome of such a thing." Marcelo fidgeted with his drink nervously, thinking he was somehow responsible for this '_terrible idea_.'

"Neither have I, but my wife and I seem to have 'explosive' results when playing _Battleship_." Jack smirked when he saw Irina scrape her nails down Adonis' back looking right at him with a smirk of her own and Weiss, Vaughn, Mikhail, Kendall, Gustav and Dixon all spit out their drinks with Jack's statement, bursting out laughing. Jack was feeling pretty cocky about winning this game and sinking Irina's ship and went in for the final blow; he dipped his lips and tongue to kiss the stripper's naked shoulder and saw the smoldering look in Irina's eyes.

Those watching were certain to receive whiplash looking back and forth between the games players at Jack's move, waiting for the reaction from Irina.

Irina was smiling and having fun playing with Jack all the way up until he put his mouth and tongue on the other woman's shoulder and then, her heart skipped a beat and she knew, he'd sunk her ship. Trying desperately to mask her hurt, she turned quickly and grabbed Katya and Sydney's arms.

"We're leaving ladies! Our next stop awaits us!" Irina called out over the music and the women quickly gathered their things, seeing the look in her eyes and rapid movements in spite of how much alcohol she consumed, they knew… the game was over. She reached into the black pouch that Pavlov was holding and retrieved an enormous stack of bills, walking up to the manager standing beside them. "Thank you." She smiled handing him $30,000 in cash.

All of the women threw harsh glares in the direction of all the men before leaving, save Irina, who didn't look back at all, and they vanished into the darkness of the club.

Jack felt as though time had been standing still, keeping him from reacting and moving.

"I think you won, Jack." Kendall added soberly, raising his eyebrows disapprovingly as they all watched Irina's reaction and disappearance. He couldn't help but think about how much his feelings toward Irina had changed, that he was disappointed in a drunken Jack for going so far and obviously upsetting her.

Jack snapped out of his shock and felt the blow internally to his heart at the realization of 'fucking up' with Irina, yet again. The somber looking drunk faces staring at him, made him realize they'd all witnessed his downward spiral into hell.

_"Fuck!"_ He cursed at himself and scrubbed his hands over his eyes.

"Yeah! And by association, you got all of us into trouble, too!" Weiss slammed his shot glass down on the bar table with a frown thinking about the look Sophia was sending him, as if he some how had a part in Jack's actions.

"I haven't seen that glare out of Silvia for years… and I ended up sleeping in the guest room for three nights after." Gustav finished off his vodka, and wiped his mouth with his hand with wide-eyes.

"Well, now we've got to find them and apologize or something. I won't be able to have any fun if I know Sydney's upset with me." Vaughn set his own drink down, with a wad of cash.

"How the hell are we suppos-sed to find them?" Weiss stumbled to stand and started to slur, "There are a million places they could have gone in this town?"

"I know how." Julian stood and walked over to one of their own Russian bodyguards, talking quietly with him a moment. The man nodded and pressed the piece in his ear. He nodded and then spoke directly to Julian who slapped his chest with a smile, thanking the man and walked back towards the drunken men with pouty lips and fallen eyes.

"I've found them. Let's go!" He smiled waving them up.


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Tainted Love _by Soft Cell_, American Woman _by Lenny Kravitz_, Legs _by ZZ Top_, Obsession _by Animotion_, #1 Crush _by Garbage_._**

* * *

SEVEN

o

Las Vegas, Nevada

**_*Tainted Love*_**

"Mom, where are we going?" Sydney rested her head on her mother's shoulder as the limo made its way down the strip, linking her fingers with her own like a little girl.

"Some place we can let loose!" Irina turned her attention from the window back to her daughter, kissing her cheek and laughing at how cute Sydney was in her drunken state. "I think you'll rather enjoy it."

"I'm sorry Daddy was such... an _ass!_" Sydney frowned at the sight of her father kissing the naked stripper's shoulder. "I hope this doesn't mean, you're going to fight again?" She was worried anytime her parents fought, afraid the fairy-tale romance and life would burst into flames if they did.

Irina laughed, and kissed Sydney's head again, "Don't worry about your father, Sweetheart. We'll be fine. If espionage, war, lies and death can't tear us apart, I certainly don't think a stripper will!" She smiled against Sydney's hair as everyone else laughed realizing the reality in that statement.

Judy smiled at the two before her, relieved to hear Irina say that after seeing Jack's stupidity earlier; knowing how far they've come since Jack had first called her '_Laura_' in her office and then set her up to be executed.

"Those guys were hot!" Sophia laughed, biting her lip and smiling madly as the other women laughed and nodded, sipping from their new drinks. "It was pretty funny to see our guys reaction to seeing us there though!" She started laughing again and all the women did too, each, thinking about the separate looks they received from the various men.

"_This tainted love you given I give you all a boy can give you take my tears and that's not nearly all tainted love whoa tainted love…"_ Weiss, Vaughn, Sergei, Marshall and Julian sang together in the back of the limo breaking into laughter, slurring their words.

"How is it that you're so... damn smart... to figure out this...this s-tuff... all the time, like when ...we were looking for Lena... and you s-uddenly... came up with the idea to honk the horn? Now thi-s? ... Realizing that that our security... had to be in contact with their-s... and therefore, know... where the women went?" Weiss asked Julian, turning down the radio slightly in the limo on the way to find the ladies.

"I told you before," Julian turned his face from the window to the drunken man across from him, amused and smiling, "I was trained... by the bes-st."

"Irrrrr-ina the Grrr-eat!" Weiss said her name loudly then laughed when Jack threw an annoyed look at him he tried to stifle his laughter and failed miserably. "She's just a damn... s-uper s-tar!" He added causing the rest of the group to laugh. "Not to mention, she's h-ot!" Weiss snickered and the men were howling with laughter at Weiss's uncontrolled comments and Jack's reactions. "Why in the world... would you kiss a s-tripper? When you're married... to _thee_ most _be-a-utiful_ woman in the world?" Weiss frowned at Jack while the others were falling over themselves in laughter.

"You, paid for the god-damn lap dance!" Jack boomed back at him and caused another round of hysteria in the back of the limo as Sergei passed out more alcoholic beverages.

"True." Weiss shrugged then laughed, taking the drink from Sergei before returning to the debate with Jack. "But! I didn't drop the extra two grand to 'touch her!' Kiss... her shoulder! Mos-t men would pay... two grand, _hell!_ A lot more! To kiss Ir-ina." He looked around at the men who resembled Bobble-Head dolls in the limo agreeing with him through their laughter, "And you pay to kiss the s-tripper! Silly Jack."

"_Argh!_" Jack sighed in frustration and threw back his own shot of liquor, knowing they were right. He fidgeted nervously. "Where are we going anyway?"

"_Coyote Ugly_." Weiss smiled and hiccupped slightly and giggled. "You know, the place… where the women dance on the bar?"

"Like in that movie, the one staring Bridget Moynahan, who played Her Majesty Irina...Well, I guess..._Laura_ Irina...or Irina Laura... in this las-t film?" Marshall asked excitedly, his slurring only slightly noticeable and yet laugh-worthy.

"Umhmm." Weiss nodded enthusiastically with a big grin.

"Oh great…" Jack muttered shaking his head, knowing that eating this 'crow' was going to be painful.

* * *

**_*American Woman*_**

Sydney jumped forward on the stage, thrusting her hips as the sailors in white, went wild in front of her. She threw her hair over her shoulder and laughed smiling as she led the groups of Coyote's, and all the other American girls in her party in the dance.

Carrie, Ann, Vicki and even the now drunk, Dr. Barnett, were behind her thrusting their hips in time with the music. When Sydney dropped to her knees, flipping her long mane around in circles, with her dress riding up her thighs, and started pouring Jose Cuervo down some Ensign's throat; the men and women in the bar went ballistic once more; too drunk to realize they were actually watching the Grand Duchess of Russia on stage. She pointed to all the women in her Bachelorette Party not on stage and had them lined up before her, mouths open and walking above them as she dumped tequila down all their throats for what must have been their fourth or fifth shot of the stuff since arriving there for some.

"I can't believe... I am taking shots like this!" Silvia laughed wiping her mouth and cheeks from the overflow, already drunk and not caring anymore. "This is _so_ much fun!"

They had been on stage for the previous songs and when on stage at _Coyote Ugly_, there is a rule that one must keep taking shots… and so they did.

"What per-fect music!" Victoria added, "Good Lord, Sydney can move!" She laughed seeing the wild woman on stage.

"She is... a Derevko after all!" Katya laughed hysterically beside them as Sydney flew around above them having a fabulous time.

Madeleine was snapping pictures of the crazy bride-to-be, excited for the next song so she could get back up on stage.

The men finally arrived at _New York, New York_, where the bar was located and heard the enthusiastic screaming coming out of the bar before they even got in. The numerous sailors outside waiting in line and the current song left Vaughn and Jack's stomach's turning with the possibilities.

When the rather large Security Detail showed the identification of the group to the bouncers, they were ushered in immediately under VIP status.

"Dear God…" Kendall was the first to say something as they all stood in the back of the dark club, watching as Sydney and the other women went wild on stage in front of them, pouring liquor down each other's throats and those of people not on stage.

"_Carrie?_" Marshall blinked rapidly, not believing what he was seeing when his girlfriend grabbed onto the pipes above the stage and swung in a circle.

"It's like watching Syd... on a mission again!" Weiss laughed from the shadows as Sydney dropped to her knees once more, swinging her head in circles and then jumped up in time to thrust with the others and the song.

All the men jumping back a little with the pelvic action, in shock. She was smiling brilliantly and though Jack was having a hard time stomaching his daughter wet with sticky liquor thrusting around on stage while Navy sailors screamed, she seemed to be having fun and part of him had to smile.

"They've all gone crazy…" Kendall shook his head in astonishment looking at his former agent and two of his current ones, on stage, including the CIA Head-Shrink.

As the song ended, the girls jumped into the crowd of sailors and wild cheers went up as they moved them in Mosh-pit fashion towards the others in their group.

As soon as their feet hit the floor, Sydney grabbed her mother's hand and the rest of the girls and brought them up on stage again, as these crazy Bachelorette Party women, seemed to be the house favorite this evening. Sydney pushed Irina towards the front and accepted the mic from a Coyote, trying to calm the screaming men going nuts over Irina and that red dress. "In honor... of the most... bea-ut-iful woman here tonight," Sydney beamed sweaty and sticky under the bright lights, looking at Irina, having to yell over the insane crowd, "I think, this song is so appropriate." She had to concentrate hard on her words but when she was finished and the first notes rang out the packed crowd in the smoky club went completely crazy.

Jack could barely swallow nor blink…

**_*Legs*_**

Irina shook her head laughing at Sydney but saw the crowd going nuts and decided to '_hell with it!_' and let go. 'Fun' being the main objective of the evening. She turned towards the back then whipped her head back sharply, making her long hair fly and the crowd of sailors go into a frenzy when her hand simultaneously pulled open the slit of her dress, exposing more leg and thigh with a naughty gleam in time with the lyrics of the song.

"_Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph_…" Kendall gasped when Irina threw her head back again, arching her chest and letting her long hair sway while exposing her naked torso through that long slit down her chest.

All of the men in their posse were transfixed with the gorgeous woman on stage. Sydney and the others joined in behind her, and the crowd was literally jumping with excitement, the Coyotes standing by in awe. Irina's slick moves left little doubt in the minds of those men, that she was fully capable of incapacitating any man in bed and understood why Jack apparently couldn't get enough of her; though they wondered how he hadn't had a coronary by now. She was absolutely wild in front of their eyes, letting go completely and having the time of her life, as were the others.

"She's unbelievable…" Dixon shook his head absolutely astounded by this woman and now knowing full well, where Sydney got it from 'in the field,' seeing them side-by-side on stage.

From out of nowhere the Coyotes doused Irina, Sydney, and Sophia beside her with pitchers of water, the three of them on the front of the stage dropped to their knees as the water kept splashing down around them, soaking them and flying everywhere when they whipped their long hair around.

"_Holy shit_… I've died and gone to heaven!" Weiss grabbed the front of Jack and Vaughn's shirts, almost falling over. "Syd, Sophia and Irina... all wet… and going wild... in front of me." Their' soaking wet clothes leaving little to the imagination clinging to their bodies.

"It's like _Girls Gone Wild_." Prince Karl's eyes were bugging out of his head, having only seen this kind of thing on television.

When Sydney grabbed a pitcher and doused Irina, Irina doused her back before Sophia doused them both, and the men went into a complete frenzy pushing towards the stage as far as they could get with the security holding them back.

Jack made a beeline with Vaughn and the others following behind them to get closer to the stage, cutting through the sweaty sailors and getting all the way up the front.

Irina whipped her head around and caught sight of Jack staring at her with wide-eyes of astonishment and decided now was the time for payback. She smiled dangerously and moved towards the very front of the stage. She whispered for the guards to let Jack past and waved with her fingers for him to join her in the puddle on the stage.

Jack's eyes never left Irina's and a chair was placed in the center of the stage by a bouncer. The roar of the crowd was deafening as Irina pushed him down onto it hard. She wasted no time and straddled him immediately, exposing almost the entire length of both legs, her pelvis rolling forcefully into his and making him gulp. It was clear from her eyes, he was not allowed to touch her.

"_Oh. Dear. God_…" Sydney couldn't help but snicker seeing the scene before her, thanking God, she was so drunk that maybe she wouldn't remember this scene in the morning.

Irina dumped a healthy dose of _Jose_ _Cuervo_ tequila down Jacks' throat then took one herself, tossing the bottle over his head where a Coyote caught it. She then proceeded to give him the lap dance of his life. Grinding herself into him and then showing her flexibility, lifted her right leg up and next to his head, absolutely straight with her heel in the air while she still sat facing him and sent the crowd into another round of hysteria.

"Oh…" Kendall groaned watching the wet and wild flexible brunette going all out on stage, absolutely in that moment jealous of Jack Bristow.

When Irina arched her back and thrust her chest into Jack's face he was close enough to kiss her sternum before she quickly pulled away and lifted her other leg to the side of his head, still sitting and showing off her incredible balance and abs to hold the position, not to mention flexibility. She dropped her legs and virtually danced him into oblivion with her spinning and grinding wet body on top of him driving him insane, Jack was wincing from the pain his rock hard arousal was in straining against his pants. When the song ended she placed a light kiss just below his ear, letting her hot breath linger a moment whispering, "_Have a nice night_," before jumping off him immediately and then off stage, walking quickly behind her bodyguards and the rest of the women out the door as the fans continued to go bananas.

Jack sat dumbfounded on the chair on the stage watching her once again disappear into the dark.

* * *

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Mom! That was totally... _insane!_" Sydney giggled hysterically in the limo on the way back to the hotel for the 4 a.m. breakfast and after hours.

"You are woman, hear you _roar_!" Sophia added clawing into the air in attempting to make the Tiger connection. "I don't think Uncle Jack… knows... what just hit him!" She went into hysterics falling over and snuggling into her own mother's side as they all laughed.

"You are by far… the most... entertaining royals _ever!_" Madeleine giggled looking at the wet trio in front of her. "That was so much fun!"

"My goodness, Irina. You and Sydney, both, must have been something in the field." Silvia shook her head in awe and enlightenment at the mother-daughter duo.

Judy was equally astounded after watching first Sydney's dance and then Irina's all out seduction of the entire bar and torture of Jack; always knowing these two women had to be a force to be reckoned with in the field, but getting a glimpse of the reality tonight.

"Thank god my husband wasn't here tonight." Ann lifted her eyebrows and giggled, when Irina turned her eyes to her in question, equally leaning on Sydney, both absolutely smashed thanks to all of the shots. "I think you might have put him into a coma with those 'Legs,' Mrs. Robin-son." A deep rumble of laughter filled the entire limo.

"I think she may have put Marshall into one." Carrie added through the laughter, "Did you see his face?"

Irina, Sydney and Sophia were too busy going ballistic on stage to notice reactions but the others nodded along laughing.

"And Director Kendall's! He was as white as a ghost!" Vicki joined in and the laughter ran out once more.

"They all had their mouths open." Bella giggled, "_Men!_"

"Payback is hell!" Katya winked at her sister and threw her own head back in laughter remembering the look on Jack's face when Irina gyrated him into a frenzy then left him sitting there, undoubtedly rock hard and in pain.

* * *

**_*Obsession*_**

"_Sweet Jesus, Jack_!" Kendall gasped in awe when they made it back to the limo, "How can you survive that woman and not go into heart failure on a constant basis?"

"If I wasn't obsessed with her before, I am now." Weiss smiled speaking clearly nodding his head in his absolute drunken state. "Dear Lord is that woman in-cred-ible! All of them! All of them… are _a-maaaazing!_" His smile widened thinking of Sophia and Sydney.

"Yeah but Irina in that dress… _wet_... and that dance." Dixon continued to shake his head in shock at what he'd seen.

"Like a wet dream come to life." Weiss nodded and then looked horrified again when he realized he'd spoken out loud. "Oh shit! Why can't I… control that internal monologue tonight?"

"That is my mother, you are talking about." Julian felt defensive after the years of hearing so many other men in their business speaking of Irina as a sex object, mainly Cuvee and Khasinau and knowing now, what they had done to her before.

"And what a mother she is man! _Damn!_" Weiss slapped his knee, "A genius and gorg-eous and _ab-solutely_ amazing. Be proud man! I would if she was my mother! I am now! And she isn't my mother!" He giggled and fell back against the seat closing his eyes. "Wow." He breathed, "Jack, you are a lucky man." He opened his eyes and poured another glass of champagne for all, "Whoever said, you were a '_poor bas-tard for marrying that woman_,' obviously had no fucking clue! No wonder you never got over her in the twenty years... you were apart! I would never be able," His upper body swayed with the alcohol running rampant in his veins, "To get over _that_ either!" He smiled and toasted to Jack, not waiting for anyone else before drinking his own salute. "Wow." He sighed again laughing thinking about all they'd seen.

Kendall and Dixon both shared a brief glance with each other after Weiss's proclamation, having been in that category of thinking '_oh poor Jack for marrying 'that' woman_' and now completely agreeing with Weiss.

After knowing Irina like they did now and all of her layers, and seeing what they saw tonight, yet another layer to her complex character they completely understood why Jack, as her husband, couldn't just 'get over' this woman. Irina was a force to be reckoned with and a life surge of energy that was sure to leave destruction in her wake by simply vanishing. Sucking the soul out of any man entwined with hers.'

"Too bad for you, old man," Weiss kept egging Jack on, not knowing when to shut up in his inebriated state, "That she won't let you… anywhere near her now after what you did with the stripper tonight... You're in the dog house!" He laughed until his body shook and so did everyone else.

"Old man?" Jack's eyes flashed to Weiss's latching on to that instead of the truth in what he was saying, _'Irina sent a clear message tonight that 'she' was now off limits until further notice,_' and everyone knew it. "I think I, could run circles around you, Agent Weiss."

"You're abso-lutely right, Jack. My apolo-gies." Weiss nodded in succession, smiling, "Your _Laundry Room Puppet Show_ was ver-ry impressive! As was the shower per-formance at Christmas!"

"_Eric!_" Vaughn tried to warn him and get him to stop even though he was internally holding back laughter, as was everyone else as Weiss listed off the places Jack and Irina had been caught.

"And then again at the Cor-onation. How did you like your sweet Russian cheesecake… with the whip-cream, Panama Jack?" Weiss burst into evil laughter seeing Jack's eyes widen and his face turn red and everyone else's faces go ashen. "Sophia figured that one out." He added.

"_Eric! Shut up!"_ Vaughn clamped his hand over Weiss's mouth, fearing death for his friend if he didn't stop and doing nothing to stop the laughter emitting from beneath it or around the limo.

"Probably as well as that sweet-champagne you enjoyed with Sophia. In the middle of the night, Mr. Weiss." Jack smiled from Weiss, to Marcelo and Sergei, taking his revenge.

Weiss suddenly stopped laughing seeing the looks on Marcelo and Sergei's faces at the reveal and it was Jack's turn to laugh at his expense as everyone but those three did as well.

"Hey, I completely plan on marrying her! Honestly." Weiss' eyes were dead serious and completely sober in that instance. "If that's okay with the two of you?" He looked nervously back and forth between Sophia's father and brother.

"You do?" Vaughn's face lit up with a smile hearing this for the first time, and never knowing his friend to be that serious about any woman.

"I do." Weiss shook his head smiling like a drunk fool. "I'm completely in love with her. Like you are with Syd." He playfully punched Vaughn and turned to Jack, "and you with the Tsar."

"Awe." Marshall and Dixon sighed together and everyone laughed.

"Well, maybe not as much as you and the Tsar, Jacky-Boy. 'Cuz dat love, you two have is… _insane shit_, man!" Weiss raised his eyebrows looking so serious it was hard not to laugh at him, "I don't think there is anything out there like it. Verr-ry speeshial."

"Yes Mr. Weiss, our love for each other... is _verr-ry speeshial_!" Jack laughed, mocking Weiss's drunken words with his own, not far behind him in the drunken stupor stage. It also made him realize how much he missed Irina already. "I love my wife and I want my wife." He voiced out-loud looking at the city that refused to sleep.

"We all love and want your wife, Panama." Weiss hiccupped and giggled when everyone including Jack laughed.

* * *

Marcelo and Jack managed to get a drunken, passed-out Weiss, into his bed while the other's stumbled into their rooms behind them, all of them drunk beyond reason and wobbling and laughing all the way up to their rooms.

Jack helped Gustav and Kendall plop Vaughn, who was singing '_American Woman'_ all the way up in the elevator, into bed where he promptly passed out face first until they rolled him over, struggling to stand themselves after such a night of debauchery.

The older men laughing softly when they removed Vaughn's shoes, turning down his sheets and heard once last muffled chorus from Vaughn of '_American woman…stay away from me_-eee.'

"Where are you going to sleep tonight, Jack?" Gustav asked him as they pulled the blanket up around Vaughn and Kendall set out some water and Tylenol next to the bed knowing Vaughn was certainly going to need it in the morning.

"With my wife." Jack smiled at them from across the bed.

"You're a brave man, Jack Bristow." Gustav laughed shaking his head, thinking about his own fights with his wife and learning it was best over the years to let her decide when she wanted to make up.

"I just can't stand to be one night without her." Jack shrugged with a smile knowing the potential wrath he faced, laying back the covers knowing Sydney was undoubtedly sleeping in his bed with Irina, and that meant he'd have to move her into here. "I'm going to have to move Sydney, though." He laughed softly shaking his head thinking about the last time he carried his then little girl into her own bed after falling asleep snuggled with her 'Mommy.'

"I know what you mean. I don't sleep at all without Silvia beside me." The older man smiled at Jack knowingly.

Kendall remembered all too well, the nights when Irina was missing, kidnapped by Cuvee, and Jack refused to sleep. He felt a pain shoot through his heart remembering that tragic time and the battle that Jack and Irina had fought to finally be together. "I'll help you with Sydney." He offered understanding Jack's plight.

"Goodnight." Gustav smiled and bid them farewell, going to his own room to snuggle with his own wife.

Jack and Kendall walked semi-stumbling down the hall silently and Jack nodded at the guard posted with a smile before using his keycard to get in.

Quietly, he and Kendall crept towards the far end of the massive suite where the King Size bed was lit by a gorgeous skylight and in the middle, cuddled together, were Irina and Sydney.

Jack felt his heartstrings tugging, as did Kendall looking at the two taking in the sleeping 'beauty' before him in the pale moonlight, especially after watching the film and seeing Irina with a baby, then toddler, then six year old sleeping in the same manor, spooned together and seeing it now, first hand made it a glaring reality that they were _truly_ mother and child.

Irina was snuggled up behind Sydney, with her arms wrapped around her daughter, Irina's face against Sydney's neck and Sydney's arms folded over her mother's, holding her there.

"Of course, they'd have to be… in the middle… of the bed." Jack smiled scratching his head with a smile across the bed to Kendall trying to figure out how to accomplish this mission.

"How do you suggest we extract Sydney… from Irina's arms without having either of them kill us in attack mode?" Kendall whispered back with hands on hips, suddenly afraid to wake these sleeping angels knowing their deadly capabilities.

"With the copious amounts that both of them drank… I doubt they'll be lethal if woken. I doubt they'll awaken at all." Jack snickered, "I have an idea." He began to undo the bottom bed sheet so that it was hanging loosely and then motioned for Kendall to come over and help him. Slowly, they pulled the sheet and Irina and Sydney towards the edge of the bed so that Sydney was now 'accessible.'

"Well, that worked." Kendall cocked his head with a slight smile that the move did nothing to disturb the two sleeping.

"Now you, you go around and crawl up behind Irina…. and help me separate their arms while I extract Sydney." Jack motioned with his hands in his drunken state for Kendall to move.

"Why don't you crawl on the bed and move Irina's arms? What if… she attacks me and breaks my neck or slits my throat?" He looked at the woman he knew to be quit deadly and hesitated with a loud whisper.

"Because I am going to grab Sydney... and carry her out of here!" Jack raised his eyebrows and tried not to laugh seeing the '_fear of Irina'_ in Kendall's eyes. "Here." He carefully slid his hand underneath the pillow Irina's head was resting on and removed her stiletto, the moonlight reflecting off the sliver blade. When he set it on the nightstand he looked up just in time to see Kendall's wide-eyes and gulp.

"She sleeps with knives under her pillow for Christ-sake, Jack! You, do it!" Kendall shifted uneasily, whispering loudly across the bed and Jack tried hard not to laugh.

"Only when she's not at home and I already removed it!" Jack eyed him trying not to laugh; he was going to have fun telling Irina this story of how Kendall was terrified to '_get into bed with her_.' "Trust me, it will be fine! Now get up there, you Pansy!"

"You owe me for this, Jack!" Kendall whispered, not believing he was actually crawling across the bed towards Irina. When he was on his knees behind her, his senses went into overdrive smelling her freshly washed hair and the scent of the body lotion she was wearing, her satiny pajamas, all of it combined with the exposure of her bare shoulders and neck, dizzying. "Now what?" He asked quickly, knowing he had to get out of this room soon.

Jack carefully took Sydney's arms, one at a time and pulled them away from Irina's, laying them against the mattress.

"Now you." He motioned with his head, feeling like he was floating already from the alcohol, towards Irina's arms holding Sydney tightly to her chest.

Kendall hesitated a moment trying to find the best angle to grab onto Irina's arms. The moonlight illuminating her glaring scars on her wrists, both old and new from her time at Kashmir and he swallowed hard as he plunged in and took hold of each of her tiny wrists. To his surprise, Irina's arms were dead weight in her sleep and he carefully set her bottom arm down while holding the top suspended so Jack could snake Sydney out of her grasp.

When Jack finally was able to scoop Sydney up into his arms, Irina suddenly tensed her muscles and brought her arms, and subsequently Kendall's with hers, to her chest forcing Kendall to bend hovering over her, frozen.

"Shit!" He whispered and Jack almost burst out laughing, wishing he had a camera to capture the position Kendall and Irina were in and the look on Kendall's face.

"Just wait a minute…She'll relax again." Jack whispered smiling.

"_There is no snow in the desert._" Sydney suddenly mumbled in Chinese in her sleep, catching them both off guard and bringing small chuckles to both faces, trying desperately to stifle their laughter.

In Kendall's attempt to stop his laughter he turned his head quickly and inhaled a giant whiff of Irina's intoxicating smell again, quickly forcing him to turn back. When he felt her arms and grip slacken as Jack had said they would, he slowly slid his arms from her embrace and backed off the bed. Seeing Jack had his hands full with Sydney, he grabbed the edge of the sheet and once again pulled Irina to the center, marveling at just how insanely light the woman was.

"My god. She… she doesn't weigh anything." He gasped out loud, voicing his concern.

"I know but she… she is gaining." Jack looked down to the tiny form in the big bed, torn between happy she was gaining and sad that it was still not enough. "Ten pounds these last two months. So just imagine, what she… was like before. Will you, you… get the door please?" He motioned with his head towards the big door.

Kendall snapped into action and opened the door for Jack and they made their way back to Vaughn's room, sliding her into bed beside him and covering them both up.

"You know, most father's are irate when… when they hear of a man sneaking into their daughter's beds and here you are… putting your daughter into a man's bed!" Kendall snickered and Jack laughed, kissing Sydney's forehead lightly and turning out the light.

"I went ballistic last year, this time when Irina… Irina put them… into the same bedroom together." Jack looked back at the sleeping duo with a smile, "Now, it doesn't bother me so much. What a difference a year makes." He laughed softly. "Thank you for helping me." Jack extended his hand.

"Yeah, good luck… with that." Kendall closed the door behind them and nodded at yet another security guard outside this door, keeping the Imperial family safe. "Night Bristow." He turned and walked a way, shaking his head.

Jack turned and headed back to Irina's room with a smile, slipping into the darkened room with determination. He stood by the edge of the bed, smiling at how unbelievably beautiful she was while he stripped off his clothes and crawled into bed behind her, spooning up against her warm body. The close contact and earlier remembrance of her lap dance already awakening his arousal. He nuzzled his face into the back of her neck, inhaling her scent and closing his eyes with happiness and in that instant, Irina had him on his back, straddling him with the stiletto to his throat, pressing enough to draw blood.

"_Whoa_…" Jack looked up at her wide-eyed in shock seeing the wild fury in her eyes and the rapid breathing in her chest.

"Jack." Irina heaved letting out a held in breath but remained with the knife to his neck, pinning him down. "You scared… _the shit out of me!_" Her lithe body was directly squatting on his chest, pinning his arms down with her knees.

"I'm sorry." He tried to speak without much lip movement, as he was keenly aware of the knife against his windpipe. "Irina," He gently moved his hand to her forearm holding the knife in place.

Irina suddenly realized that she was still holding the weapon against him and drawing blood and pulled it back quickly, rolling off him and setting the knife next to the other one he'd removed, panting trying to calm down and slow her breathing. She ran her hand through her hair and Jack slid up behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I scared you." He whispered and then kissed her shoulder gently again and she sloughed off his kiss, remembering him kissing the stripper's shoulder earlier but remained on the edge of the bed.

Jack knew instantly what she was thinking and wrapped his arm around her tighter, holding her to him fully as he sat behind her, chest to her back, lips to her ear. "I'm sorry for… for my actions tonight. I went too…too far and I'm sorry. I never should have touched her body with my mouth. That is only… _only_ for you." He kissed her shoulder again, resting his chin in the crook of her neck when he was done hoping she would forgive his stupidity. "I was insane with jealously when I saw those Olympian-type Gods… grinding into you."

"And you don't think, I wasn't?" Irina turned rapidly around, coming face to face with him. "Walking in… in and seeing… seeing _my husband_ grinding with… with two strippers! But I saw...it for what it was...A Bachelor Party! But then you… you purposely call back the one with my name! _My name! _And put your mouth on her!"

"And you? Smacking some guy on the ass? Who just happens to look like Dubey?" Jack found his anger and regretted it immediately seeing the flash of pain and anger in her eyes. She immediately pounced on him, slamming him backwards on the bed and pinning him beneath her again.

***#1 Crush***

"When are you going to get it? Get it through that… that, _thick fucking skull_… that you're the only man… _only man_ I want, Jonathan!" Irina's body was hovering over his as her arms held his own beside his head, her long hair flipped over one shoulder. "I think… I've made that perfectly… _perfectly clear to you_… time and again… and then yet again… tonight…_'showed you'_ and the _rest of the_ _fucking bar_! That you're the only man I want! Even if you drive me mad at times!" She crashed her lips to his in a bruising kiss as Jack struggled to swim through the fog in his mind and take in what she said on top of her tongue sweeping madly through his mouth.

He rolled them to pin her beneath his weight, turned on more then he could ever imagine after or during a fight with her. He pulled back and ground his naked member into her panties as he settled between her legs.

"_Yes!_ You certainly showed me and… and everyone else… what a beautiful… _beautiful!_" He held her face with one hand, "Sex goddess, you are tonight… and I am…_I am…I am_… a fortunate man to be the one… you _love!_" He smashed his lips to hers again in a brief but brutal kiss, claiming her. "But, I am man! And we… we are stupid, insensitive… insecure pigs at times… and for that I am sorry! So, _so_, so sorry." He kissed her and then made trails down her neck and over her chest before claiming her mouth yet again. "Your lap dance… was... was amazing and brutal…_so brutal_… all at the same time. I don't know when…I've ever..._ever_… been that… rock hard in my life… with no release in the end. Cruel, brutal… wasteful. Point taken." He claimed her lips again, sliding his body up hers thrusting against her satin gown and feeling the heat coming off her body in waves.

Irina pushed him back and rolled on top of him again, taking over.

"If you ever… _ever_ kiss another woman again, I will…" She seethed in anger and shook her head, incredibly turned on and feisty all at the same time though massively drunk and unable to think properly.

"It will never, never happen… So you don't have to think about what you'd do." Jack spat out quickly leaning up and grabbing her pulling her to him and grasping madly to pull her nightgown over her head. "Oh God, oh God… I've wanted you… all… _all night long_! Always you…" He moaned in between kisses working his way down her throat as his hands cupped her breast and brought her peaks to life, "Ever since… you walked off the elevator in that dress." His mouth captured one breast and Irina gasped, throwing her head back grinding into him. He ran his hands down her sides and felt her soaking wet panties pressing against his flaming cock, teasing it mercilessly. Too impatient to wait for her to remove them he grabbed the sides and tore them away from her body in one swift move. He pushed her chest until she fell onto her back and he moved to his knees.

Irina moved her hands down to grab his legs just above his knees as he settled again between her legs. His hands easily lifted her hips and Irina arched her back to help him, rolling back onto her shoulders she nodded and Jack impaled her in one fast thrust stealing her breath no matter how many times she tried to prepare her self. Her core already dripping wet from the entire night of foreplay and feeling Jack's readiness; his member slid easily in and out in quick, rapid thrusts, going deep as he held her at this angle and loving the fact he could look her in the eyes.

Irina's pelvis tilted towards the ceiling created perfect friction against his shaft and ridges met bundles in perfect harmony, rapidly bringing her to climax. Jack was working hard, determined to give her as much pleasure as he could before his own explosion erupted from within, having dealt with the same torturous foreplay all night that she had. Going this deeply inside her was dangerous if he wanted to last long but he knew that it was a position they both loved and willed himself to hold back his own orgasm until she fell at least twice before him.

Irina felt the rip tide pulling her in as Jack pounded in fluid motions rolling her up and down on the bed and locked her legs around his ass to pull him closer as she neared the cliff, ready to dive off. Her head began lolling from side to side, fingers gripping hard into his legs and incoherent mumblings and moans of pleasure escaped her lips as was about to take the plunge, trying with all her own might to hold back and failing when she felt the explosion and shockwave tear through her body, screaming and trembling. Her body quaking in his hands and around his member, his own body shaking and about to explode he quickly lowered her to the bed, flipped her on her side so that her hips were twisted side-ways while her upper body still remained flat and straddled her leg; pushing the other one up until it haphazardly folded around his hip and ass, his hands planted on either side of each breast and he drove back into her. Her muscles still shaking and revolting from the first climax and grabbing greedily at his member as he continued his frenzied pumping, rocking and rolling Irina in a different way.

There was no need for words in this wild abandon of intense and rapid lovemaking, as both understood the immediate need of the other. His rigid cock impaling her making them both whimper and moan with each thrust and he fought the urge to blackout from the exertion his body was extolling as well as the sensations from being stimulated inside her with her grappling muscles; his balls soaking wet with her juices slapping against her spread legs and her heel digging into his ass with the leg wrapped around behind him; pulling his thigh against her clit as she ground her self against him stimulating herself with his body while he worked her internally.

"Oh god, oh god…" Irina screamed twisting her head into the bed and fisting the blankets and sheets above her as she flew more rapidly then ready for, into ecstasy her body violently trembling from the massively intense explosion blinding her and literally jerking Jack into release behind her. Her powerful muscles pulling him into Nirvana with her and a scream of her name from his lips as the shock bolted from his groin through every part of his body, continually pumping with blind eyes until he couldn't any more and collapsed beside her, pulling her back against his chest.

Both still trembling and heaving with uncontrolled breaths as they wait for their bodies to calm and their sight to return.

With a few stars still floating through his vision he dipped his head once more and kissed her naked shoulder blade.

"I love you, Irina. You and no one… _no one_ else." Jack whispered into her ear, his arms wrapping tightly around her little frame, legs tangling with her own.

"I know you do." Irina sniffled, cursing the tears that had some how appeared, "I love you, too… you… you and no one else."

"I know you do." Jack kissed the back of her neck, snuggling closer if that was possible, still feeling horrible for bringing up Dubey. He heard her sniffle and saw her move her hand to wipe her tears and realized she was crying. Alarmed, he immediately rose up on his weary elbow and rolled her over to look at him. "Don't cry." He felt his heart crushing with every water drop coming from her beautiful brown eyes. "Please don't… don't cry. I'm sorry, My Love. So, so sorry." He dropped his mouth to her face, kissing away every tear. "Are you ok?"

"It's not you, Jack. I don't know why… why I am crying. I just am." Irina wiped at the few remaining tears and tried to give him a small smile, "I guess, I am just on emotional overload… with tonight and the reali- realization that our little girl… _our little girl_, is actually getting married. Getting married. And realizing how much time has… has gone by. How much I, how much I missed over the 'lost' years, that when when I left, she was a… a little girl and when I returned, she is a grown woman, getting married… getting married." She rambled on quickly as the tears built and then flowed over with every additional word until she was full blown crying and Jack pulled her up into his arms.

"Oh, My Love." Jack held her, rocking with her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and chest and held on tightly, crying into his neck. His own eyes began to glisten with unshed tears thinking about what she had said and coming to his own realizations tonight, especially when he put Sydney in bed with Vaughn, that his little girl was all grown up.

Irina hated that she was such an emotional wreck and decided that she would blame the alcohol for the outburst if called out on it. She nuzzled her face deeper into Jack's neck when her tears subsided.

"When's the last time you ate something?" Jack whispered into her hair, worrying about her health all the time.

"Right before Sydney… and I went to sleep." Her head flew out from under his chin at lightening speed, "Where's Sydney?" She suddenly noticed she was not in bed with the daughter she went to sleep with.

"Sleeping… with Vaughn." Jack smiled and laughed softly seeing her eyebrow shoot up in surprise. "She's fine. Now come. Snuggle with me, 'My Little… Security Blanket." He tugged on her arm. To his surprise she jumped out of bed, and wobbled slightly, getting more drunk as the alcohol settled and he smiled while she tried to find her balance gripping his hand tightly with her eyes closed. "Where are… are you going?" He finally asked her when she cleared her head enough to open her eyes and saw him smiling at her naked form before him while she swayed under the influence.

"To the… to the bathroom and to get a drink… of water." Irina announced with an air of authority that made him chuckled and flop back against the bed pillows, watching her beautiful naked form disappearing once again into the darkness. She returned minutes later and crawled up the bed and under the covers beside him, draping her body over his chest and falling asleep almost instantly.

"Jonathan…" Irina purred.

"Hmm?" He asked softly, smiling at her use of his first name and the way it sounded with her drunk, thick Russian accent.

"Happy Birth—day." She mumbled snuggling her face into his skin and was out immediately.

Jack smiled, realizing it was indeed a new day, his birthday and brushed the hair off her face, continuing to play with it, knowing she was asleep and smiling at the way she rose and fell with his every breath, feeling her own warm breath against his chest. He dropped one last kiss to the top of her head and turned to nuzzle into her hair before closing his own eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Oooh," Sydney moaned covering her eyes instantly from the assaulting sun breaking through the large windows. "Oooh." She moaned moving her head and feeling it pounding. "Mommy?" She called out, turning on her side and snuggling into the warm body next to her. Her sense of smell alerted her to a strong musky scent and not the Rose Hips she remembered falling asleep next to. Her eyes bolted open immediately. "You, you, you aren't my… my mommy." She slurred, still drunk from the night before as it had only been a few hours since they'd gone to bed.

"Syd? Oooh," Vaughn moaned and slowly opened his eyes. "What are you doing… here?" He tried to move towards her and moaned again in pain, curling up into a fetal position. He was in far better shape than Sydney but still hung-over.

"I don't know." She answered sadly and her lip started pouting and quivering in confusion. "Oh god, I'm going to be sick." She sat upright, "Ohhh!" She moaned grabbing her head at the sudden movement and ran for the bathroom, just making to the toilet before throwing up violently.

* * *

Jack slowly opened his eyes to morning sun, blinding him and quickly he turned his face into his pillow for protection, smelling Irina's intoxicating scent he smiled in spite of the pain. His arm reached out with his eyes still closed looking for the warm body that was his security blanket and continuously found empty bed space.

Finally he propped himself up on his elbows and looked around, Irina was nowhere to be found in their bed and that's when he heard it, the sound coming from the direction of the bathroom. The sound like someone was dying painfully.

Slowly he moved to the edge of the bed with his eyebrows knit in confusion, '_Irina was never hung-over… ever_.' But then he heard it again, the distinct sound of someone retching their guts out, _hard_. He grabbed his boxers off the pile on the floor where he'd left them the night before.

Irina was hunched over the toilet, forehead resting on her folded arms as the temporary reprieve gave her a moment of peace. She'd never been hung over a day in her life and here she was still drunk and vomiting, sitting naked on the bathroom floor and feeling like she was dying all over again. She felt the sudden jolt racing through her stomach once more and made a fast grab to catch her long tresses before she violently expelled the contents of her stomach once again. The putrid smell of tequila, pasta, and bile filled her nostrils and once again forced her stomach into violent convulsions.

Jack heard the violent assault against the toilet and quickened his pace, stopping just inside the bathroom door at the sight of his wife, naked on the floor in front of the toilet violently retching and trying to hold her hair back but beginning to fail. Her body was retching so hard she had to grip the seat with both hands and he immediately flew to her side, grabbing her hair in one hand and placing the other on her bare back with wide eyes, never having seen Irina in all their lives together, vomit like this. He ran his hand softly up and down her back as her stomach finally settled and she once again collapsed onto her folded arms, face first into the bowl. They sat like that a minute, letting her body calm down before either spoke.

"I hate tequila. It's evil." Irina moaned into the bowl and Jack held back a chuckle at the same time feeling complete empathy for her. "Now, I know why I only drink vodka." She added again, swirling her tongue against the roof of her mouth and finding the disgusting taste of bile, the Pesto she shared with Sydney and liquor.

Jack leaned over and kissed her shoulder smiling and thankful she couldn't see it. He only wished he had a camera, this was a first for her. Something most people go through in college; and she looked all too cute, sitting on her knees with her cute little butt resting on her heels, bent over the toilet, face first into the bowl with forehead resting on her arms while Jack held her hair.

"Do you think you're…" Died on his lips when her body lurched again, spewing forth the toxic contents until she gagged, "Done." He added softly with concern when she once again collapsed back onto her arms, her body heavy from her efforts. "There can't possibly… be any more left in there. Then again, you did drink a massive amount last night."

"Stop." Irina whined and he smiled at the tiny voice he heard come out of her. He continued to run his hand up in down her back in soothing motions for a few minutes, leaving her in peace with silence while he studied her naked form, something he always loved doing.

Three sharp knocks on the door brought him out of his daze and he realized it was probably the Petersons with Lena.

"I'll be right back. Are you ok?" He whispered, knowing that loud voices were the last thing she needed.

When she barely nodded into the toilet he smiled and grabbed one of the soft luxurious bathrobes to cover his nearly naked form. He heard the knock again and then soft laughter that didn't sound like it was Ann's, when he pulled open the door, Katya and Kendall who was holding Lena, stood with smiles taking in his appearance.

"Rough night, Jack?" Katya teased, reaching out to ruffle his hair more then it already was.

"What are you two doing here? And why do you have Lena?" He asked Kendall, reaching out to take his beautiful baby girl, with wide eyes and gurgling happily as she chewed on her plastic and rubber keys.

"Ann is apparently, how shall we say? Extremely partied out?" Katya's eyes danced with amused light and laughed softly, "And Ryan is…" She stopped when they all heard the violent retching coming from the back of the hotel suite. Horrified looks appeared on both Kendall and Katya's faces.

"Apparently, Ann wasn't the only one." Kendall added wide-eyed and cringed when they heard Irina retch and gag again.

"Yeah… Irina is-" Jack began then stopped when they heard yet another tortured retch followed by a moan, "Miserable at the moment."

"She never has a hang-over. At least, not that I've ever known of her." Katya's eyes were large and filled with surprise and concern.

"Yes, I know." Jack nodded softly, and Lena grabbed his cheek in her little fingers. "All that tequila."

Kendall nodded, and formed a tight-lipped smile, knowing from his own experiences with the nasty drink how one was certain to visit death's door in the morning.

"Her insulin levels… Jack," Katya's concern was growing knowing if her sister was vomiting, her insulin levels had to be all off.

Jack stepped back allowing her entrance and Kendall followed, concerned for Irina as well until Jack stepped in front of him with a nervous look on his face.

"You can't, she doesn't… you can't see her." He looked at Kendall and then to Katya, "You can. But you can't." Jack looked back at Kendall and waved Katya on back.

"Wh—?" Kendall was about to ask when an enormous grin broke out across his face, realizing 'why' he couldn't see Irina.

'Ruffled hair, Jack in a bathrobe, Katya can see her, but not him, last night's lap dance, Jack's determination to 'sleep with his wife, not to mention it was his birthday… she was obviously naked' he laughed to himself. "I get it." He nodded and Jack nodded smiling. "Do you want me to take Lena for a little while until the situation with Irina is under control?" He smirked and reached for the baby, eager to hold her and play with her whenever he could and feeling bold this morning; besides he had an idea of his own. _'Lena was after all, a powerful tool of persuasion.'_

"Are you serious?" Jack looked at him incredulously, not believing that Kendall of all people would volunteer to watch a baby.

"Oh course." Kendall shrugged with a smile and reached for Lena again.

"Ok." Jack shrugged, knowing he couldn't watch the baby and deal with Irina at the same time and handed her over to Kendall, kissing her little head profusely before doing so. "Here." He grabbed the baby's bag from the table next to him and watched with wide-eyes as Kendall slipped it over his shoulder.

"Don't look so worried, Jack." Kendall laughed, knowing that under normal circumstance, he too would be panicked at the thought of him with a small infant.

"Oh Rina, what you done to yourself?" Katya purred in Russian, surprised and smiling slightly at the sight of her naked sister, hunched over the toilet; understanding now why Jack wouldn't let Kendall come in. She immediately ran a washcloth under the faucet, wetting it and ringing it out as Irina started dry heaving. Slowly, she knelt beside her, holding her hair back for her and waiting for the attack to pass. She hadn't held anyone's hair from vomiting since Sophia and Sergei were little and ill. "Here." Katya handed Irina the washcloth and proceeded to run her fingers through her sister's hair, gathering up all the stray pieces and tying it in a loose knot at the base of Irina's head to keep it out of the way.

"Thank you." Irina answered softly, just as miserable as before and exhausted she let her head drop onto her arms again while Katya ran her hand down her back. "I hate Jose." She added and Katya burst out laughing, trying to muffle it knowing the sharp sound would send pain through Irina's alcohol dehydrated brain.

"I thought Sydney was sleeping with you last night?" Katya asked quietly, amused and empathetic all at the same time.

"She was, I moved her." Jack entered the bathroom, test kit in hand.

"Oh really." Katya's eyebrows shot up in surprise then thought about why Irina was probably naked and the reason Jack moved Sydney. "Ohhh!" She smiled brightly and then remembered, "Happy Birthday, Jack." Her laughter once more turning into stifled giggles.

"Thank you." Jack shook his head a tiny smile on his lips thinking about last night as he removed Irina's meter, handing it to Katya who was closest to her.

"I have to poke your finger, Darling." Katya cooed and Irina held up her middle digit without looking at them, the significance of the finger was not lost on Katya or Jack and made them both laugh. "Funny Rina, very funny. Must be the drunk humor still in you." She pricked the long digit and squeezed the small amount of blood onto the strip, kissing the top of Irina's head afterward. "This can't be good." Katya looked at the number and passed it to Jack.

"No, it's definitely not good." Jack huffed, reading the number and seeing how severely low she was. "You're reading twenty-one, Irina." Shaking his head at the roller-coaster ride it was with her insulin levels. "Katya," He addressed her from the sink where he was preparing a syringe of insulin, "Would you please call Room Service and order some breakfast. She needs orange juice pronto-"

"I won't keep it down, trust me." Irina groaned, displeased at the sound of the vile substance right now.

"We have to try." Jack looked at her sadly and flicked the air bubbles out, squatting down next to the two and swabbing a spot just below Irina's tattoo to inject her. "And also get her something with loads of sugar in it, something of substance which will be harder to—" He motioned with his head toward the toilet and Irina's position against it.

"Ah," Katya nodded in understanding, knowing what he meant. "Ok." She got up and kissed the back of Irina's head once more. "I'll do that, and have the maid come and turn your bed down…fresh sheets." She winked and giggled softly at Jack who was shaking his head.

* * *

"Paul, what are you doing here? And who is this gorgeous baby?" Judy smiled happily at the bouncing baby in Kendall's arms with surprise.

"The most successful failure of a CIA mission: The Derevko-Bristow Love Child and Irina's Mini-Me." Kendall smiled and laughed when he saw the realization pass across her face.

"Lena." She smiled happily, reaching out to touch the baby's hand and surprised when Lena started reaching for her. Kendall passed her off to Judy with a smile.

"I was wondering if you could help me." He fidgeted nervously in the doorway watching with a smile as the baby giggled and bounced in Judy's arms. "Her parents partied too hard last night, Irina anyway," Kendall laughed softly shaking his head, "And I told Jack I would take the baby this morning so he could deal with her mother… but I… I don't know that much about…how… to take care of her. For example, I know I'm supposed to give her a bath… change her out of her pajamas and… and change her diaper, not to mention feed her! I don't know how and was hoping you could help?" He babbled as much as Lena and Judy couldn't stop the smile from coming to her lips.

"I would love to help you with her." She snuggled Lena and rubbed her nose against her soft hair. "Come on in."

* * *

When Irina was finished vomiting the orange juice, as she knew she would, out her nose, she was less then pleased with Jack and told him to go away from her for a while; asking Katya to help her into the tub.

Jack cleaned up and went in search of the other males in the group, checking in on them and finding some of them in as bad of shape as Irina, namely Weiss.

Irina was now, surrounded by a mountain of bubbles in the enormous tub and Katya had just finished rinsing the conditioner from her long silky hair. The feel of her fingers massaging through her scalp, lulling Irina's eyes closed as Katya spoke softly to her, filling her in what Marcelo's drunk ramblings about the men's debauchery and conversations in the limo last night.

"I've never been this sick before after a night of drinking… _never._" Irina spoke her thoughts softly, "Never had this violent reaction." She ran her hands softly over her stomach under the mass of bubbles.

"I know but you've also never had insulin issues to deal with either." Katya added softly, leaning on the marble surrounding the large tub.

"I know, but I've drank before." Irina countered, pulling one soapy hand out of the bubbles to support her head as it lulled to the side in thought, "After the whole insulin thing, I mean and I've never woken with a hang-over like this… vomiting everywhere. Damn you, Jose Cuervo!" She added and laughed with Katya only to feel the immediate pressure in her head and wincing.

"Yes, damn that tequila! You're Russian… stick with the vodka from now on." Katya snickered, shifting her own head into the other hand. "I wonder how Sydney's doing?" She giggled, "That child was wasted… as was mine."

"Hmm," Irina nodded with a soft smile, closing her eyes, resting her head in one hand with the other on her now settling stomach.

"Holding your hair reminded me of when Sophia was younger and would get ill and I'd have to hold her hair." Katya smiled, running her hand over Irina's wet tresses. "That was the last time I ever had to hold anyone's hair until this morning." She laughed, "The first and only time I've ever vomited like that is when I was pregnant." She smiled in thought and shook her head, "Poor Marcelo… holding my hair and wiping my mouth while I practically lived on the bathroom floor."

Irina's heart skipped a beat and her eyes flew open, her hand slowly moving further down her stomach as her heart began to pound in her chest. Her fingers running over her abdomen, her mind rapidly compiling all the facts at the same time: _weight gain, need to nap, insatiable sex drive, explosive orgasms, supremely emotional, vomiting, her moody nature this morning and… the firm round bump of her abdomen_, right there under her hand and tears instantly flew to her eyes in shock.

"Rina, what is it?" Katya saw the jolt pass through her sister and the instant tears as she went white as a sheet.

"I think, I think I know. No. I know, I know. What's wrong with me." Irina stuttered and turned her teary eyes to Katya's, staring into her mirroring brown depths.

"You're pregnant?" Katya whispered barely above a breath seeing the look in Irina's eyes and replaying the conversation and the facts she knew of. "My god…" Her astonishment turned into a smile. "Rina." She cupped her sister's face in her hands with tears in her own eyes.

"All the signs are there… they're all the same except the vomiting which is… probably because of all the alcohol I drank last night, Oh God, Katya!" Irina's eyes went wide in emotional panic thinking about how much she drank last night and already protective and worried about the baby she wasn't even positive was there.

"Calm down, Darling," Katya tried to sooth her with soft words and a smile. "We don't even know that you are pregnant for certain."

"I know Katya. I know," Irina felt it in her heart and cradled the firm bump with her hand, "I feel it." Her eyes blurred with tears again and she started to cry, not sure how she felt about it.

"Ok, ok, calm down." Katya smiled, in tears her self still in shock, "When do you think you?" She hedged swaying her head from side to side slightly with a smile.

"I don't know! Jack and I, we… there are so many-" Irina sighed loudly in thought and shock at all the various times and places she and her husband had engaged in their lovemaking.

"Possibilities." Katya snickered, trying to hold back a laugh at her sister's extremely active sex life. "Ok, first things first." She blew out a deep breath with a smile, extending her hand to Irina to help her out of the tub. "We'll get you dressed and back into bed, then we'll call down and have them bring up a pregnancy test from the pharmacy. Then we'll get Jack and-"

"No! Not yet." Irina quickly cut her off suddenly terrified to tell Jack just now.

"Ok." Katya whispered softly with a smile of understanding, and wrapped a large fluffy white towel around Irina who stood there in shock with wide-eyes and Katya wanted to laugh, remembering this same look on Irina's face when she and Alexei had told her she was pregnant with Lena.

Irina's mind was racing at a million miles an hour, fighting to get through the tequila fog still lingering about. She did as she was told as Katya dressed her and dried her hair with the towel; before Katya left, going to make the phone call to the hotel pharmacy as Irina brushed her teeth. Irina was sitting on the closed toilet lid in a fresh pair of pajamas, this time two piece: little spaghetti strapped top that didn't cover her entire belly and shorts made of pink satin. Her head in her hands from the pounding still going on inside it and the rest of her body trembling with the possibility. She heard the muffled knocks and Katya's 'Thank you' a minute before her sister arrived in the bathroom doorway.

"Ready?" Katya asked softly removing the pregnancy test box from the brown paper bag.

"Is anyone ever really ready for this?" Irina whispered taking the box from her sister still in shock.

Katya left her alone and waited outside in the kitchen, making herself some coffee to keep herself busy with her own nervousness with the possibility.

Irina placed the little stick on the bathroom counter and stepped back from it as though it were an explosive device, eyeing it the entire way out of the bathroom. She turned sharply and grabbed her pounding head, squinting her eyes and cursing to herself in Russian for the rapid movement. She wobbled on Jello-like legs back to the freshly made bed and flopped softly on to it, rolling over onto her back with one arm resting on her forehead, the other hand over the firm bump in her abdomen.

Jack knocked softly on the door, braving entry and smiled softly at Katya. "Can I-" He barely got out before his answer was given.

"No, you may not! Please go away!" Katya smiled and shut the door promptly in his face, leaving him in shock and awe standing there looking at the closed door in front of him and heard the muffled laughter from the guard beside him. He shook his head and the abrupt change in Irina's mood from the wild passionate lovemaking of last night to this morning when she wanted nothing to do with him. He began to wonder as he walked back down the hall, if it wasn't because last night she was still drunk when she forgave him and thought better of it this morning.

_'Some birthday this was turning out to be.'_ He shook his head in the elevator, going off in search of Kendall and his baby. "Women!" He sighed out loud and the bellhop laughed softly.

"So, what does it say?" Irina asked from her position still lying on the bed when Katya emerged from the bathroom holding the '_explosive stick.'_

Katya walked over to her with a completely unreadable face, sitting on the massive bed's edge next to Irina. She placed her hand over her sister's own hand resting on her belly. "You're pregnant." Katya smiled warmly and clasped Irina's fingers in her own. She held up the stick that clearly showed two very distinct pink lines.

"My god…" Irina whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper, Soul Bossa Nova by Quincy Jones and His Orchestra, Boots Were Made For Walkin' by Nancy Sinatra, Come On Closer by Jem, Foxey Lady by Jimmy Hendrix, Only Fools Rush In by Elvis Presley, Blessed by Elton John, Baby of Mine by Bette Midler, Good Life by OneRepublic, Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo by Verna Felton from Cinderella Soundtrack, When You Wish Upon A Star by Cliff Edwards and the Disney Chorus from Pinocchio Soundtrack.**_

* * *

EIGHT

o

Immediately, Irina broke into tears; first from shock, then from the reality of it and then the possibility. Fear, excitement, _astonishment that this was happening again, _were all running rampant in her mind.

Katya leaned over and kissed Irina's cheeks, tearing up and crying herself as she hugged her sister.

"It's going to be all right, Irina." She pulled Irina up into her arms and the two held each other, crying. "Aren't you happy? Excited? "

"Oh course, I am." Irina sniffled, pulling back and laying back down on the bed, accepting the tissue Katya offered her. "But, I mean… I already have a baby! Lena's not even a year old and not that it makes any difference and Sydney's wedding and running the country and not to mention dealing with my insulin deficiency and heart problems and Jack… Oh Jack. God, I can't imagine what his reaction to this is going to be." Irina closed her eyes and covered them with the arm over her forehead, "I'm just…"

"Overwhelmed." Katya smiled in complete understanding.

"Yes." Irina sighed and a silent tear slipped down her cheek once more.

"Rina, let's concentrate on the positives here for right now." Katya spoke softly with a smile, pulling the arm from her sister's eyes; she placed her own hand over the bare, warm skin of Irina's abdomen, feeling for herself for the first time, the firm oval shaped mound and her smile widened as more tears fell looking into Irina's eyes. "Irina, you're having a baby. You're getting another miracle." She spoke so softly it was a conversation meant for only them.

"I'm having another baby." Irina whispered, saying it out loud for the first time. "I'm having a baby?" Her astonishment was slowly turning the corners of her mouth into a smile.

"Yes." Katya smiled, wiping at her own tears.

"I'm having a baby." Irina finally smiled that brilliant smile everyone loved so much and pulled Katya back down to hug her, laughing softly. "Oh, Jack." She sighed, batting at her tears realizing she had yet to share this with him. "I've got to tell him."

"Well, this will certainly be a birthday, he won't soon forget!" Katya pulled back smiling widely and laughing with her sister, joining their hands over the baby mound.

A soft knocking interrupted their little celebration and Katya quickly pulled open the nightstand drawer and placed the pregnancy stick inside, shutting it with a smile at Irina before answering the door.

"Sydney!" Katya smiled happily and kissed her disheveled niece with a laugh, taking in her appearance of freshly showered and in new pajamas, like her mother.

"Not so loud, please." Sydney winced trying to smile. "_Jose_ is still banging his bongo drums in my head."

"Oh, my apologies." Katya laughed softly at her niece's humor, "Go join your mother in bed, she's in the same shape you're in."

"_Mommy!_" Sydney cried in a mock whimper pouting as she crawled in bed beside Irina, snuggling up next to her, with her head on Irina's chest. "I have the worst hang-over of my life! It's all _Jose's_ fault!"

"_Damn Jose!"_ Irina laughed softly, kissing the top of Sydney's hair and blinking back the tears at hearing Sydney call her '_Mommy_' in a child's voice after just learning she was pregnant yet again. "Did you at least have fun last night?" She whispered, while Katya began making her special hang-over cure-all in the kitchen for Sydney. Irina on the other hand, would have to suffer through it now they knew she was pregnant, alcohol was off limits.

"I had a blast from what I can remember." Sydney furrowed her brow in thought, playing with the satin strings on the front of her mother's pajama top, "I can only remember flashes of the last part of the evening. We were dancing on the bar…" She thought really hard, "And then you… _You_ were going crazy with _Legs!_" She laughed her deep giggle and then cringed, "Oh God, I didn't want to remember that performance with Dad."

Irina laughed softly and pulled Sydney closer, the two of them entwining their legs.

"It was pretty _awesome_ though… from what I remember… the pictures should be interesting. _Oh god, Mom_!" She whipped her head around to look at Irina, squinting through the pain it caused, "People with cameras catching us-"

"Don't worry." Irina smiled and smoothed the hair over Sydney's head, "I had the guards and bouncers confiscate all their cameras before we arrived and they were checked again after we left so no pictures will make it into the tabloids."

"You're so smart." Sydney smiled and giggled and settled back down against Irina's chest.

They were quiet a moment, Irina playing with Sydney's hair and Sydney enjoying the sound of her mother's heart beating beneath her ear when she finally remembered the question she was wondering about.

"Mom..."

"_Hmm?_" Irina hummed against her silky brown hair, smoothing its long length down Sydney's back and side.

"I remember going to sleep with you in here last night… but I woke up next to Vaughn," Sydney knit her brow together and a slow smile spread across Irina's face as well as Katya's in the kitchen who heard the question. "Not that I am complaining about waking up next to my fiancé…but I was just wondering how I got from here to there?"

"You're father moved you after you fell asleep." Irina whispered softly, her own drunken hazy images of last night with Jack flitting through her mind. "He put you into bed with Michael."

Sydney couldn't believe her father would do such a thing. "Why?"

"He had to '_make-up'_ with your mother." Katya informed her, exaggerating the 'make-up' part with and evil grin as she sauntered towards the bed carrying the drink.

"Oh man, I don't need to know these things!" Sydney blanched with the instant assault of images and turned her face into Irina with eyes squinted shut feeling her mother's chest and body vibrating from her soft laughter and hear that of her aunt's behind her.

"Then don't ask the obvious questions, Sweetheart." Katya chuckled, sitting on the edge next to them. "Here, sit up and drink this. You'll feel better, I promise." Katya pulled on Sydney's arm, helping her to sit.

"_Whoa_… Bloody Mary." Sydney's eyes went wide, tasting its potent content.

"Not _just_ a Bloody Mary, there's something extra in there that will have you back in fine form and ready to party again in no time!" Katya smiled and patted Sydney's bare thigh.

"Doesn't Mom get one?" Sydney looked down at her miserable mother.

"_Nyet_." Katya was quick to answer, sharing a knowing look with Irina. "_Jose_ took its toll on her last night, no more liquor for her until her insulin levels straighten out." Katya informed Sydney, telling her the truth, but not all of it. For now, it was clear Irina wanted this pregnancy to be their secret.

"Oh…" Sydney suddenly looked concerned, "I didn't even think about what all those shots were going to do to your insulin, Mom, I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

"Sweetheart, don't apologize. I had fun last night and take full responsibility for my actions." Irina brushed her fingers down Sydney's face, admiring her beautiful daughter. "You are so beautiful, you know that?" She smiled warmly and Sydney's eyes lit up with one as well, "I love you, Sydney."

"I love you, too, Mom." Sydney leaned down and kissed Irina, before taking another swig of Katya's Poison.

There was another knock at the door.

"My goodness, you are popular this morning, Rina!" Katya smiled and patted her sister's arm before answering it. Her smile lighting her eyes when she saw her own disheveled daughter, holding Lena.

"It's only fitting you two beautiful girls join our party!" Katya leaned forward and kissed Sophia and then Lena, "Good morning, Darlings."

"Morning Mama." Sophia smiled groggily, adjusting the baby on her hip as she passed her mother, "I am in desperate need of your Cure-All, Mama… _Pronto!_" She sighed with the pounding in her head and made her way over to the bed. "Good morning, Aunty Rina. Sydney." She handed the baby off to Irina and crawled up into bed beside them, flopping onto her stomach and groaning.

"Feel as about as good as we do then, huh?" Sydney laughed softly, feathering her fingers down her cousin's hair. "How did you end up with Lena?" She looked over at her bouncing baby sister, currently lying on her stomach, on top of their mother's chest, playing with her favorite object, Irina's locket.

"Director Kendall and Dr. Barnett." Sophia mumbled into the pillow before turning her head with a smile to look at the beautiful baby.

"_What?_" Sydney and Irina both voiced their surprise at the same time.

"I guess, they were looking after her this morning. Ann is apparently in as great of shape as we are." Sophia chuckled softly then groaned, "_Mama!_ Where is that drink? Please!" She cried and both Sydney and Irina laughed. Sophia's whiney tone for her mother matched that of Sydney's when in this shape.

Katya brought out the drink and crawled up into bed with them, leaning back against the headboard and pulling Sophia between her legs to rest back against her chest; wrapping her arms around her daughter while she drank and smoothed her hair with her free hand, smiling.

The last time the Romanov/Derevko women were in bed talking, they were missing one person, now Sophia was here and it was complete.

"Aunt Rina," Sophia's lips turned into an awed smile looking at her gorgeous aunt. "You've got moves, I've _never seen_ before." She giggled and Sydney and Katya joined her, eventually getting an enormous smile from Irina, and giggles from Lena who was laughing because they were.

"Yes, the _KSG of the KGB_ strikes again!" Katya added with a smirk and then deep laughter when Sydney groaned and Irina's eyes flew to hers.

"The who? Who's the KSG?" Sophia asked innocently looking around at the faces and Sydney who was eventually giggling.

"The _Kinky Sex Goddess_," Sydney nodded with each word and formed a tight smile trying not to laugh. "That is my mother." She burst into a fit of giggles then reigned them in, "Her nickname and appropriately so, I guess."

"_Buwhahahahaha!_" Sophia burst into hysterical laughter then grabbed her head immediately at the pain, fighting off her laughter. "Oh Mama Mia! That's hilarious!"

"All right, all right." Irina shook her head laughing with them and held Lena close with one arm while she moved to sit up, against the headboard like her sister. Leaning back against the pillows with a smile as Lena gurgled happily looking at her mother, Irina knew that everything would be okay and her heart smiled at the prospect of another child looking at the beautiful baby in front of her and her gorgeous, laughing daughter to her side.

"Sydney, your '_American Woman'_ was rather impressive as well, Darling. I think you must have inherited those KSG genes from your mother." Katya teased her with a wink and they all broke into laughter, in spite of the pain it brought. "Kendall told me that Michael was singing the chorus to it all the way up in the elevator last night, and continued with the chorus even as he and your father were putting him to bed."

"Are you serious? Oh… my… Good-ness." Sydney shook her head and began to blush, looking down at her now empty glass. "How embarrassing."

"No child! Be proud! Your man went to sleep singing your praises! A true sign of a Sex Goddess! You are your mother's daughter!" Katya laughed and held Sophia tighter when they were all giggling and Sydney burning bright red.

"Come here, Baby." Irina tugged on Sydney's arm seeing her blushing uncontrollably, she shifted Lena into the middle of the bed and let the baby crawl across its middle towards Sophia and Katya while she nestled Sydney between her legs and against her chest like the other two. "I was very proud of you last night, you are my daughter in everyway!" Irina whispered softly into Sydney's ear, stroking her hair off her forehead and laughing softly when Sydney did too.

Lena crawled to the middle and sat up looking between the two groups of two and grinned her beautiful little toothy smile and giggled, making them all laugh with her.

"Mama ma mama!" She babbled reaching her hands out and grasping for Irina with a smile she giggled one last time and started crawling back towards Sydney and her Mama, melting Irina's heart every time.

"She's getting so big, so fast." Sophia marveled at her little cousin when she saw her pull herself up to stand using Sydney's fingers, bouncing on her tiny legs in excitement seeing her sister's smile.

"It all goes by so fast." Katya said softly, smiling and looking over at Irina, sharing a knowing gaze.

Another knock and this time they all chorused. _"Come in!"_ Too comfortable in their positions to move from the bed.

Jack walked in nervously followed by Mikhail, Bella, a very disheveled Vaughn and Weiss, Vicki, Carrie, Ann and Ryan, Kendall and Judy, all of them with wide-eyes of surprise finding the sight before them.

Jack's eyes locked with Irina's and she gave him a small smile seeing how nervous he was in her presence at the moment.

"We, the guys… are going to the pool to play some Poker at the floating bar down there and before we left, I just…" Jack looked at the beautiful sight before him, pausing to take it in. Sydney nestled against her mother; Sydney helping Lena to bounce beside her and with Katya and Sophia, all of them wearing smiles and happy. "Wanted to make sure you, were ok?" He rambled nervously and quietly as everyone else watched the exchange.

Irina nodded softly with a smile, brushing the hair behind Sydney's ear; her eyes held with Jack's a moment before she turned to look at their audience. Dr. Judy Barnett was smiling from ear to ear and Vicki, Carrie, Bella and Ann all looked about as good as they felt.

"Katya, I think you're going to need to make a pitcher of that Cure-all. I think our fellow partiers could use some." She smiled softly at them and patted the bed, "Come Ladies, join our hang-over party." Her smile grew when they all sighed with smiles and exhaustion and instantly began making their way over to the bed each one of them occupying a different space. Carrie crawled up the middle to play with Lena; Vicki, Judy and Ann grabbing pillows from the giant sofas and placing them at the end of the massive bed before crawling in and leaning back against them to face the others.

Irina and Sydney scooted more towards the center and Bella slid in beside them nestled right next to their bodies with a smile and melting Mikhail's heart to see Irina and Bella so comfortable with each other as if they'd been close all of their lives.

They did it all in a matter of seconds and without talking to the astonishment of the men looking on.

"Amazing." Kendall whispered shaking his head at women's ability to communicate without words and seeing the mass of them accumulated on Irina's bed; not to mention that his eyes were boggling at the sight of three of them, including Irina, still in their satin pajamas.

"Scary." Mikhail whispered, having a different take on the women though he smiled looking at his _family_.

Vaughn stood with wide-eyes, refusing to blink at the sight of his mother and Irina Derevko snuggled together and simultaneously playing with Sydney and Lena, smiling and laughing. A sight he never, in a million years, thought he'd ever see.

"Beautiful." Ryan added with a smile seeing the women start talking softly then laughing, his eyes going from one to the other.

"Astonishing." Julian whispered with mouth open seeing Irina like this; having yet another awakening to the woman behind 'The Man' all those years. He only ever saw Irina in a 'man's world' where she had to hold her own, either being objectified as a sex object for being a woman or intimidating and scary to hold her own with the men. Seeing her so relaxed and smiling in company of other women was something he'd take awhile to get used to.

"Breathtaking." Jack turned his smile from the women to men standing in awe.

"_Hot!_" Weiss smiled laughing softly. "Eight women and one in the making in one bed." He whispered to Vaughn.

The rest of the men and the Swedes arrived right behind them and Irina waived the women over to join them, all of them squishing together to make room for the three new Swedish beauties.

"Make that eleven." Weiss whispered and stood in awe with a goofy smile. He whipped out his camera, "Alright ladies." He stepped forward feeling bold and still slightly drunk, as the rest of the men stood back in silent awe watching the gorgeous creatures. "Let's take your picture to remember this _Morning-After Hang-Over Party_!" He smiled getting them all in frame, "Ready… say '_Legs_!"

The word got the intended response when everyone burst out laughing and he caught their' smiles on film. Irina's laughing eyes caught with Jack's giving him a smile as Sydney shooed all of the men away and out the door.

"You have to admit, that was pretty good!" Weiss smiled proudly as they all rode down together in the elevator. Locking eyes with the rest of the men, save Jack and suddenly they were all breaking into a small chorus of, _"She's got legs, and she knows how to use 'em…"_ Laughing when Jack spun around, grinning like an idiot and turning red as he shook his head at them and thinking of Irina's now infamous lap-dance.

Weiss soon found himself being drowned by Jack in the pool repeatedly for his comments last night; all in good fun of course, as Jack was rather proud of his wife and he knew the comments weren't meant to be degrading or malicious.

* * *

**_*Girls Just Want to Have Fun*_**

"So, Mom, what's on the agenda for this evening?" Sydney asked, eyeing her mother across the room who, had just gotten of the phone. "You're not going to tell me are you?" She smiled seeing the look on her mother's face. "I'm just trying to figure out why you moved us all to this room, at _The Palms_ to get our hair done in what appears to be some style from the Sixties and all exactly the same. I feel like Barbie." She announced seriously and everyone burst into laughter feeling the same way.

"Which Barbie would that be, Sweetheart? Grand Duchess Barbie? American Woman Barbie? Spy Action Barbie?" Silvia asked laughing through her smile.

"I don't know but I don't think my hair has ever been this high before." Sydney felt the bouffant with her hand and a deep giggle immerged.

"How in the world I got roped into this I have no idea." Judy looked at the women around and their hairstyles, wondering how she managed to get herself into this, and at the mercy of Irina Derevko.

"I'm beginning to wonder if it were a mistake to grow my hair out?" Vicki asked suddenly feeling very self-conscious, never having anyone spending this much time on her hair before in her life.

"Yes, I know how you feel, Darling." Katya laughed deeply, feeling her own long lengths now being curled. "Short hair seems so much, safer."

"My mother told me never to 'assume," Victoria smiled at her mother, "But I would venture a guess that we are attending the VIP Costume Party they are having this evening at the club upstairs. I overheard the bellhop speaking of it on the ride up here."

"You assumed correctly, Sweetheart." Irina smiled warmly at her, sitting in the chair so the hair stylist could finish with her own hair. "We are attending the VIP Costume Party this evening."

"Oh my God! Everybody _but everybody_ attends this party!" Sophia bounced excitedly in her chair, "It's the hottest ticket in Vegas during the summer!"

"Is it?" Irina feigned innocence, reaching over to pick up her baby crawling towards her.

Ann was going to be staying in this room with her tonight until they left, then go back over to the Bellagio; Ryan having his turn out with the boys.

"All right, Mom, I know that face now! Spill it!" Sydney slanted her eyebrow and Irina responded with the same challenging look making the others laugh. "Come on! I saw it on your face last night when we were here and I see it in your smile now!"

"Aunty Rina," Sophia's eyes went wide remembering what Julian said last night and her face went white. "I saw that look you shared with Julian last night, the same one Sydney saw. Julian runs your clubs now. Please tell me, that the _most happening_… and fantastic clubs upstairs are yours?" She was literally ready to burst with excitement, clubbing being the most favorite past time of hers for years.

Irina looked up from kissing Lena's head, all eyes on her, and gave her famous smile.

"_Mom!_" Sydney was equally stunned and excited, "You own the _Ghost Bar_ and _Rain_?"

"I own the hotel and casino." Irina answered softly and laughed hearing their sharp intakes of breath and the looks on their faces.

Katya, who already knew this information after taking over operations of Irina's organization, laughed deeply with her sister seeing her own daughter stunned speechless.

"You own _The Palms_?" Sydney asked again, still stunned. She didn't know why it would surprise her, nothing her mother did surprised her anymore, or so she'd like to believe.

"Mmhmm." Irina smiled, nodding and running her cheek against her baby's soft hair.

"And several others." Katya added with a smile.

"I just… don't know what to say." Sydney shook her head then smiled, "Except, I always knew Las Vegas was run by the Russian Mafia. I just had no idea, _wouldn't conceive of it_ being the _same _mafia, that my mother ran."

"Sophia, sweetheart, are you ok?" Irina asked smiling with laughter in her eyes seeing her niece with mouth slightly open and not moving for several long moments now.

"I think she's in shock." Katya laughed and leaned out of her chair to kiss her daughter making her smile.

"Does Dad know?" Sydney asked suddenly.

"No. He doesn't which is why _this_," She gestured with her hands to their hair and the party tonight, "Is going to be that much more fun. A birthday, he's sure never to forget." She smiled and flitted her eyes to Katya. "Now that everyone's hair is done! Time for wardrobe!" Irina laughed evil-like and the others moved together to hold hands while she went into the bathroom to change, handing the baby to Ann on her way.

"I just hope I'm not Malibu Barbie or something. I don't do 'flighty' well." Carrie voiced her thoughts and everyone went into hysterical laughter again, waiting for Irina.

When she stepped into the doorway minutes later, fully dressed, their mouths fell open.

"Oh, _Sweet Mary Mother of God_…" Judy gasped and clenched Bella's hand next to her. "What have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

When the elevator doors opened to the _Ghost Bar_, Jack pivoted on his foot and tried to go back in only to be pushed out again by a laughing group of, "Traitors!" He yelled at them.

**_*Soul Bossa Nova*_**

"Come on, Jack. We all look fucking ridiculous! So does everyone here! Look around!" Weiss laughed, "Especially me!" He pointed to his own costume that was enormous and plaid.

"I think I look like the biggest jackass here, no pun intended." Vaughn held up his hands in defense and pointed to his golden skin-tight outfit with nothing on his lower half but a virtual Speedo and tube socks.

"Yeah you're right, Mike. You do look like the biggest jackass!" Weiss laughed hysterically and bounced his belly off everyone.

"And had I not had those five shots of Jack Daniels before I got dressed, I would not be wearing this in public! You're so dead when you get married!" Vaughn glared at him.

"You're the golden boy this trip, Mikey being the bachelor, your outfit was chosen especially for you and not by me. So don't look at me that way." Weiss narrowed his eyebrows, "They all came with names attached and sized accordingly."

"Well, what's the significance of mine?" Mikhail asked, repositioning his fez and eye-patch.

"You take a lick-in' and keep on tick-in,' I suppose." Weiss smiled and shrugged laughing. "Very appropriate, I think and Kendall and Marshall." He burst out laughing. "You two are classic!"

The two men eyed each other, dressed exactly the same in sliver suits buttoned up to their necks.

"From now on at work I am calling you guys Doctor and Mini!" Weiss was rolling with laughter, as was everyone else. "And Jack, there is no doubt left in my mind, that your costume is completely appropriate for you! _International Man of Mystery_. Now suck it up Velvet Boy and get out there!" He pushed Jack out of the elevator. "_Yeah baby!"_

"I need a drink." Jack pushed his thick black glasses up the bridge of his nose and stumbled into the hallway followed by his posse.

"I think this is great! Look at all these beautiful girls dressed as _Go-Go_ dancers!" Karl whipped his head around smiling, sporting a fro and platforms.

"Everyone, get your drinks and follow me please!" Julian smiled and jerked his head, flopping his hairpiece off to the side.

"Yes, Basal. We're following right away!" Dixon laughed looking at Sark. "That British accent is coming in handy for you tonight! Perfect choice!"

"I could say the same for you, Dixon." Julian smiled reaching out to touch the man's massive fro. "Nice pants." He pointedly looked at the skintight polyester beige bell-bottoms.

When they were settled in the front row of chairs, that had been re-arranged for tonight offering a bigger dance floor, Julian signaled for more drinks.

"Isn't that Johnny Depp over there?" Vaughn moved his head to see him better.

"And John Travolta, dressed like he was still in _Saturday Night Fever!_" Mikhail laughed, remembering seeing that movie not too long before he was extracted.

"And Hallie Berry… _yeow!_" Weiss started fanning himself seeing her dressed like _Sexy Cleopatra_.

"There are celebrities everywhere." Marshall smiled in awe. "And… they're all looking at us." He slunk down in his lime-green chair, sipping on his Cosmopolitan.

"Alright Julian, spill what you know." Vaughn pushed him, shifting in his seat uncomfortably and feeling naked in his clothing.

Julian looked at his watch and then towards the elevator doors, seeing the numbers lighting up as the elevator car made is way up towards them.

"The surprise… is almost here." Was all Julian said, sitting back with a sheer look of mischief having no idea what Irina was planning but by the looks of this party, it was going to be interesting.

* * *

Sydney looked over to her left and saw Vicki crossing herself and mutter a prayer as they neared the top floor.

"It's going to be ok." She smiled at her.

"Sure, you used to dress up like this all the time! Me? Are you kidding? What if I forget the steps?" Vicki looked up at Sydney terrified.

"You won't forget them. You've got a photographic memory. You'll be fine." Sydney nodded trying to comfort the distraught woman. "And you look beautiful!"

"Ready?" Irina turned her head with a dangerous smile, as the elevator was about to open. "Here we go!"

**_*Boots Were Made For Walkin*_**

The elevator doors opened and the club went into silence as the new music instantly began to play, mouths on the floor as the group of gorgeous women systematically walked out of the elevator with purpose directly in front of the row of chairs.

"Dear God, they're _Fem-bots_!" Weiss gasped, grabbing Vaughn and unable to breathe looking at the women before him.

A roar of cheers and clapping went up around the club at the sight of them. They were all dressed exactly the same, hair done the same way. Silver form-fitting short-shorts with a white belt, a pointy silver bra with a single strip going up the center of their sternum and then around their necks. White gloves going up 3/4 quarters of their arms, banded with silver. Silver bands in their hair and white skin-tight boots up to their calves completed the outfit.

Irina stood directly in front of Jack, Sydney to her left in front of Vaughn; Sophia, to her right in front of Weiss and so on as they formed a line and 'V.'

Jack couldn't breathe watching his wife a few feet in front of him, dancing in-sync with the others, Irina as their clear leader. Her muscular, tan, scarred body was drool worthy in her current ensemble. She truly was a Fem-bot, a beautiful deadly assassin. He couldn't tear his eyes from her, nor could the others as they watched the women.

"_Sweet Jesus_…" Kendall gasped for breath going from woman to woman taking them in and their sexy dance and outfits. His eyes boggling at Irina and his mouth dropped open, he had to shake his head to concentrate and breathe. When his sight landed on Judy, his eyes nearly popped out of his head. She was looking directly at him with a sexy smile, feeling confident and _sexy as hell_ at the moment.

When the move came where they slapped their own ass, a cheek at a time, every man in the club flinched feeling like they were the prey of the huntresses before them.

Sydney's predator gaze fell on Vaughn and the seduction in her eyes was his undoing shifting her body around in precise movements. When she turned her head very precisely back and forth with the same motion as her finger, scolding him… he felt like a bad boy and couldn't wait for his punishment.

Sergei decided in that moment his eyes locked with Princess Madeleine's that his ship had been sunk, and he was in love. She seemed to be dancing only for him and he struggled for every breath.

Dr. Ryan Peterson was frozen in his chair, unable to move watching his former professor, the now world re-known _Mrs. Robinson_, dance as a Fem-bot in front of him, shattering any fantasies he conjured up of her in college. His mouth went dry watching her and the other women smacking their ass cheeks again and again when the song and dance routine, called for it. He absolutely couldn't wait to get home to his wife after this.

When '_Are you ready boots? Start walking_' began the Fem-bots spun on their heals and seductively walked away towards the bar, each sitting on different stool with the final note and their heads whipped back towards the men.

A thunderous round of clapping and whistles went round the club with everyone astonished and in-love with the Fem-bots.

"Holy-shit!" Weiss laughed and stood up, thankful for his large costume to cover his reaction to the unearthly creatures. "That was amazing!" He whistled again as the ladies stood, wrapped arms around each other's backs with big smiles and bowed.

"I can't believe we just did that!" Silvia laughed and then blushed seeing the positively animalistic look in her husband's eyes of burning passion, one she had not seen in years. "Irina, that was fantastic fun! Thank you!"

Irina just smiled and passed her a drink, signaling the bartender for water, which to the naked eye, would look like vodka.

**_*Come on Closer*_**

"Look at them. I'd say that from the fact most of them aren't standing… we had a 'positive' affect on them." Katya whispered to her sister's ear and laughed deeply when Irina did seeing she was right.

"Then we should go to them." Irina smiled and led the way her eyes locked with Jack's as she walked towards him and promptly sat on his crushed velvet suit covered lap. "Happy Birthday, Jack." She smiled, staring into his beautiful eyes behind the glasses and grabbed his face with one hand, kissing him passionately and leaving him breathless while more whistling could be heard and laughing.

His hands sliding up her thigh to her ribs and kissing her once more, this time softly with a smile. "Irina, that was… I just… you look...wow." Jack breathed scanning her body and outfit once more.

"So, you like?" She cocked her eyebrow with seductive eyes, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and pushing up his glasses with a smile.

"Oh yeah." Jack gasped, nodding unable to form coherent thoughts. "So that's why I am wearing this ridiculous costume then?" He laughed softly looking down at his attire, waving his thigh back and forth and moving Irina with it, where she sat perched, with bare legs crossed.

"I think you look sexy, Jack. Deal with it." Irina whispered with a thick accent that she knew drove him nuts. "Who better then to 'tame a Fem-bot' then the sexual prow-ness of Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery."

"Hmm." Jack smiled, realizing now why she'd chosen it for him, "Well, then in that case. I think you chose wisely, My Love."

"Good. I've got a surprise or two for you later." Irina smiled, whispering into his ear and kissing the spot below his ear sending a shiver through him.

"I don't know if I can take anymore of your surprises this weekend, between last night and tonight, I just may die of Cardiac Arrest." Jack whispered back to her, keenly aware they were always being watched.

"Well, get your shock paddles ready, Mr. Bristow because what I have in store for you is bound to be a surprise." She rubbed her nose with his and laughed thinking about what his reaction was going to be when she told him the news, hoping it would be a good one.

"Carrie… you… wow." Marshall bumbled, completely flustered with the Fem-bot on his lap, "Let's get married!"

"What?" Carried reared back in shock, "Are you serious?" She searched his eyes.

"Yes, I'm serious! Let's get married! Tonight! I love you! _You, you, you_ are incredible! I love you!" Marshall picked up her hand and held it tightly to his chest, already sweating profusely in his Mini-me out fit, "Please?"

Carrie looked at him a moment, stunned and then smiled, "Yes, I'll marry you, Flinkman!" She grabbed him and kissed him hard while Weiss whistled loudly beside them.

"They're getting married!" He announced, clapping and whistling loudly again and again.

"Holy shit!" Vaughn turned with a smile to Sydney on his lap, "Marshall proposed to Carrie and they're getting married! Tonight!"

"This weekend is insane!" Sydney laughed, wrapping her arms around Vaughn and pulling him to stand to go congratulate them, nuzzling his face all the way up, "Did I tell you how much, I love your Goldmember?" She whispered and broke into a fit of deep giggles, already buzzing with alcohol.

Vaughn kissed her quickly, going in for seconds with a smile.

"Whose idea was this anyways? This party, these costumes… your costumes are just incredible!" He eyed her appreciatively once again, "Let me guess, you mother?"

"Yep." Sydney smiled, giggling. "Marshall, Carrie!" She spun instantly, hugging them both behind her, "Congratulations this is so exciting!"

* * *

**_*Foxey Lady*_**

"Come over here, Foxey Lady." Jack grabbed Irina's arm with a smile pulling her back to the dance floor hours later when a familiar song to them began to play, he sat her in his former seat in the front row.

When he began to sing the words, and all the other men joined in with him, their turn to give the women a performance, Irina couldn't stop the laughter, it radiated from all the women practically rolling in their chairs.

Their alcohol induced moves were entirely laugh worthy and even Mikhail was out there, moving his eye-patch from eye to eye singing and throwing out some rather impressive moves that had Irina and Bella in hysterics and Silvia and her girls were holding their sides watching their normally straight-laced father getting into the song.

With the lyrics of '_Foxey Lady here I come baby… I'm comin' to get you'_ came up, the women completely lost it with the men moving toward them, lips curling and thrusting their hips.

With the songs end, the women returned the standing ovation and the entire club was laughing hysterically at the performance.

* * *

**_*Only Fools Rush In*_**

Thirty minutes later, they were all at the _Chapel of Love_, still in their costumes and seated in the little pews, they watched as Marshall dressed as 'Mini-Me' and sweating bullets, walked Irina the supreme 'Fem-bot' down the aisle.

When she kissed his cheek and stepped to the left to assume her position she winked at Marshall at the other side, trying to ease his nerves and he gave her a smile. Normally, it was Elvis that would walk the bride down the aisle at this chapel but Jack as 'Austin Powers' walked Carrie, the bride 'Fem-bot' down the aisle. She and Marshall had asked Jack and Irina on the limo ride over if they would stand up as their witnesses since it was because of their relationship, and all the adventure, drama, comedy, and love connected with it that brought she and Marshall together. They happily accepted.

Jack kissed her cheek smiling and placed her hand with Marshall's taking a step back behind the groom, looking over at his own beautiful wife smiling as Elvis in a white sequined jumpsuit began the proceedings.

"Elvis is marrying Mini-Me and a Fem-bot, while Austin Powers… and the Tsar of Imperial Russia who is dressed as a Fem-bot are the witnesses… not to mention the group gathered to watch," Marcelo whispered to Kendall and Dixon, then snickered looking at himself and the others clothing in the pews. "Swedish and Russian Royals, SVR and CIA agents, and a few other celebrities we picked up at the party. This is classic!"

"This is the most bizarre and fun wedding, I've ever been to." Queen Silvia looked around and whispered with a smile of amusement and awe she laughed softly to Katya. "And I'm still crying." She dabbed at her blurry eyes and smiled wider. "I just love weddings."

"And by the State of Nevada and the city of Las Vegas, I now pro-nounce," Elvis quivered his lip and rocked his hips from side to side, making them all laugh, "You husband and wife. You may kiss your bride!"

* * *

"That was very nice of you." Jack slid closed the glass door of the massive shower behind him, joining Irina already standing under the spray later that evening. "To get Marshall and Carrie the _Honeymoon Suite_ at _The Palms_." He smiled warmly into her eyes, seeing the flicker. "You own that hotel and casino, don't you?" His smile widened when he figured it out. When she responded with a soft nod and smile he laughed and moved in to kiss her softly.

Irina's stomach was alive with fluttering butterflies of nervousness about telling him the news. When he began to sing softly in her ear like Elvis from the chapel, '_For I can't help falling in love with you_…' Her nervousness turned to into soft laughter as she turned in his arms, pressing her forehead to his as the warm water cascade around them.

"The wedding was beautiful, wasn't it?" Irina whispered to him, remembering her own and the wave of happiness she felt then and now.

"You mean in spite of being the most odd, and insane wedding ever?" Jack giggled with her, running his hands up and down her sides and back as they sway together under the water, "I would say, yes… it was beautiful."

"They are so happy." She whispered thinking about Marshall's cute face when he said his vows.

"It was your Fem-bots that pushed the boy over the edge," Jack laughed and pulled her closer. "Not that I can blame him; had I not already been married to you, I would have asked you on the spot." He cupped her face smiling, "I love you and thank you for my birthday gift. It's not one I am likely to ever forget."

"I love you, too." Irina smiled up into his brown gaze, inhaling and taking the plunge, "I'm glad you liked the party but… there is another gift I have to tell you about. One you'll have to wait awhile for it to arrive." Her dark eyes danced with mystery and laughter, "Sort of last minute thing."

**_*Blessed*_**

"Really?" Jack gave her a cocky grin and cupped her face with his hands, pressing their bodies together, "It sounds very intriguing. What is it? A special delivery?"

"Something like that, yes." Irina smiled and took another deep breath, "A very special delivery." Her dark eyes held his, tears already forming. "Jack, I'm pregnant." His mouth fell open and she was sure he stopped breathing. She knew he wasn't blinking as her eyes held his and watched the gauntlet of emotions flooding through them. She waited silently for him to say something but he was in obvious shock. "Jack." She said louder, nudging him and forcing him to breathe. "Do I need to get out those cardiac paddles?" She laughed softly trying desperately to calm her own nerves as she waited for his reaction.

"You're, _you're, you're, you're_… pregnant? _Again?_" Jack finally managed to get out barely above a whisper, his eyes searching hers not sure he heard her right.

She nodded softly, "Yes." Failing to hold back her tears any longer.

"How?" He asked the most obvious and dumb question in his state of shock, standing like stone in front of her.

"Jack, you know how. We've done this before." Irina sighed exasperated and wiping at her tears though she didn't know why, as they were standing in the shower under the water.

"Yeah, but… conceiving Lena was a miracle and this… how can we?" His thoughts and emotions were going all over the place.

"Have another miracle?" Irina looked into his eyes asking softly and finishing his thought and question.

Jack nodded slowly, finally moving his thumbs against her face as she slowly broke through the shock.

"We're blessed?" She answered softly and more tears fell when she shrugged with a smile.

"We're really having another baby?" Jack finally found his voice and organized his thoughts, though still speaking in hushed tones as though saying it loudly would make it go away.

"Yes." Irina smiled and reached up to take one of his hands from her face, slowly she separated from him and placed his palm over the firm little mound, barely visible and yet distinctly there when placing a hand on it.

His eyes went wide feeling it as well, his mind suddenly racing back in time almost twenty-nine years ago when she told him she was pregnant with Sydney and he felt the same 'bump.'

"I found out this morning." Irina caught his surprised eyes, though he didn't move his hand away from her body, "All the signs suddenly added up while I was in the bath and Katya had a pregnancy test delivered up, though I already knew." She smiled and used her free hand to wipe her tears, her breathing shaky at best, "It was positive."

"We're having another baby?" Jack repeated, this time more loudly fitting all the pieces together in his head and watched her nod with a small smile again. His mouth finally turned into a smile and he dropped to his knees in the shower, staring intently at her belly. With both hands he reached out gently to palm the little belly bump, his eyes darted up to hers. "We made another baby." His voice carried a hint of awe and his smile melted her heart.

"Yes." Irina smiled, her tears continuously falling seeing he was just as happy as she was now, in shock but happy. "We made another baby." She repeated softly and reached out to touch his face lightly with her fingertips where he was kneeling before her.

Jack's eyes met hers and she was positively glowing; his heart was about to explode in his chest.

"A baby." He repeated staring at her stomach in awe that such a thing was growing inside her this very moment, a miracle every time. "A baby." He whispered as his hand caressed her smooth skin interrupted by the jagged scar. "We literally, made _love_ again." His smile widened at the idea and slowly he moved in, pressing his lips to the middle of the bump. The gesture brought immediate tears flooding into Irina's eyes and she couldn't stop the soft sob that escaped. He looked up at her and moved to stand, once again cupping her face and speaking softly. "Thank you. I love my gift."

"Really?" Irina asked, hiccupping with nervousness.

"Really." Jack nodded smiling and captured her lips with his in a sweet kiss.

When they parted, she snuggled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her while she buried her face against his neck.

Jack suddenly remembered this morning and her mood and chuckled softly, "Is that why Katya told me I was not allowed inside and had to go away?"

"Yes." Irina sniffled and smiled, chucking with him. "I'm sorry, I was a wreck." Her breath tickled his ear.

"Why?" He smoothed his hand down her hair and back.

"Well, for one, I was still hung-over and sick as a dog; two, I was in shock over the fact I was _actually_ pregnant again," She sighed, smiling again. "And three, I was thinking about the fact that my oldest child is getting married, and youngest, a baby still in diapers," She paused when Jack chuckled thinking about that himself. "But mostly, I was nervous about your reaction." She admitted softly, and traced his collarbone with her finger.

"Because of the way I reacted or rather didn't react, when you tried to tell me about Lena?" Jack asked softly, swallowing hard mentally kicking his own ass again for treating her the way he did that night.

"No," Irina answered quickly. "Yes." She added with as soft sigh feeling his arms wrap more tightly around her, "That was part of it, I guess. I was just afraid… that you wouldn't want this baby." Her _damn_ tears were back and she cursed pregnancy hormones once more.

"Why would you think I wouldn't want our baby?" His heart clenched painfully hearing Irina say, that was her fear.

"I don't know, Jack. I'm not exactly rational right now and I certainly wasn't this morning! I was worried that you'd be worried about stuff like…like, my health and how this pregnancy is going to effect my body… my heart… my insulin levels. I didn't want you to worry about me, just be happy about our baby."

Jack's eyes went wide with something he hadn't thought about and his heart beat picked up instantly concerned now that it was brought to his attention thinking about her getting so ill this morning.

"I can hear your heart beat increasing." Irina whispered, hearing and feeling it with her head against his chest. "Please, don't worry about me."

"Irina, that's like asking me not to breathe." Jack kissed her head and nuzzled his face against her hair.

They held each other for a moment in silence, both of them thinking about the 'what ifs' and dangers.

Irina's mind and heart were tearing apart thinking about losing another child and the mere thought, was unbearable.

"I want this baby, Jack." She whispered softly against his neck a moment later. "I'm already in love with our baby. Giving up another child… would be like asking _me_, not to breathe." Her voice began to shake with the rawness of her statement and Jack instantly held her tighter, feeling tears pricking his own eyes.

"I know, My Love," He kissed her head repeatedly, his heart clenching painfully for her and her losses… _their_ loss. "I'm not asking you to give up anything and I was in love with this baby the moment you told me you were pregnant." He rested his cheek against her head, still buried in his neck, speaking the honest truth. He couldn't give this baby up anymore then she could. "This baby is a blessing and everything will be all right, ok?" He jostled her in his arms with a smile through his tears, "Let's concentrate on that." He pulled her back to look into her teary eyes, cupping her face once more. "We made another baby." He whispered with a smile, still in awe.

"We made another baby." Irina smiled, the immediate joy taking over again.

* * *

"Irina?" Jack called out softly in the morning, finding their bed once again void of her presence. He swung his legs over the edge and that's when he heard it, the sound of her vomiting in the bathroom. Scrubbing his hands over his face, feeling terrible for her and worried all at the same time, he pulled on his discarded pajama pants.

"Hey," He called out softly, seeing Irina in the same position she was in yesterday morning though she managed to pull her pajamas on before she got sick this time he'd taken notice. He knelt down beside her and started running his hand over her back.

"I don't get it, Jack." Irina spit the disgusting bile still in her mouth into the toilet, miserably. "I didn't drink at all last night."

"Did you check your blood sugar?" He asked softly, concerned and trying to find the possible reason why she was still sick.

"Yes, before I got out of bed and it was normal." Irina no sooner finished her sentence before she was vomiting again and he helped hold her hair.

Jack cringed, knowing it had to be painful from the way it sounded and feeling terrible for her.

"Maybe it's just morning sickness?" He offered and she snapped back at him.

"I've never had morning sickness like this, Jack! _Never!_" She heaved immediately after and then went limp against her forearms when it was over.

"Okay." Jack rubbed her back and turned toward the open door when he heard a knock. "I'll be right back." He smiled when he opened the door and found his sister-in-law with his baby in her arms. "Katya."

Seeing his eyes dance with light and the smile that lit his face looking at Lena, Katya knew Irina had told him.

"Congratulations, Jack." She leaned up and kissed him, passing the bubbly baby off to him. "How is my dear sister this morning?"

"Terrible." He whispered and motioned with his head towards the bathroom just in time to hear Irina heave again as if on cue. "Her insulin levels are fine and she didn't drink last night." He shrugged at a loss.

"Ah… morning sickness." Katya smiled, empathizing already with her sister remembering her own bout with it.

"Well, you convince her of that then because she swears it isn't as she's never had it before." Jack continued to whisper, running his hand over the side of his beautiful baby's face, worried about her mother.

"She's never been a Diabetic before, either." Katya arched her eyebrow in the Derevko way with a smirk, knowing her stubborn sister. She headed off towards the bathroom with Jack on her heels. "Rina," She smiled entering the enormous space, "You have clothes on! I am in shock!" She teased her and laughed when Irina gave her the finger again, "That's not very lady-like, Your Majesty."

"I don't feel very _Lady-like_ with my head in a toilet right now, _Ekaterina_." Irina spoke into her folded arms into the toilet bowl and Katya laughed even more coming to sit beside her and looking back at Jack with Lena.

"Ooh, she used my full name, Jack! I'm in trouble now." Katya dropped a kiss to her sister's head, and placed her hand on her back. "So, you have morning sickness apparently." She knew there would be an argument until every option was exhausted.

"No!" Irina shook her head adamantly in her arms, not willing to believe that she had such a thing. "I never had it before. Not with Sydney, not with Jack." Katya and Jack's hearts both burned hearing her speak of their lost baby, "Not with Lena, not with any of the others. _Never._"

"Irina," Katya leaned over speaking more softly finding the humor of the situation leaving immediately after the reference to her lost pregnancies and son. "I know that, Darling, but you've also never had Diabetes, essentially, when you were pregnant with any of them. Your body is different this time."

Irina knew she was right but she couldn't stand facing waking up to this for many more mornings to come. "But I wasn't sick at all with any type of morning sickness until yesterday when _Jose_ sprang into a Revolt!"

That answer did make Katya and Jack both laugh softly.

"Sister, you are so funny." Katya ran one hand over the back of Irina's thick hair and the other clasping her arm. "Jose probably is responsible for kicking off the festivities, Darling." Katya smiled, trying to hold back her laughter, "and now you'll have to party until the Season passes."

"But I don't want to party anymore!" Irina whined into the toilet and Jack and Katya both smiled widely, stifling laughs.

* * *

**_*Baby of Mine*_**

"I'm sorry, My Little Incubator, but you're going to have to for awhile. I know it's terrible." Katya ran her hand down Irina's back again and motioned for Jack to hand her Lena, "But this too shall pass and the end result is most definitely worth the effort." The baby squealed with a giggle, bouncing in her aunt's lap, reaching for her mother.

"Mama mama _mama!_" Lena babbled, reaching with her tiny hand out to Irina.

Irina smiled in spite of her position and turned her head to look into the eyes of her beautiful baby, earning her another smile.

"Absolutely worth the effort." Irina sighed with a smile when Lena leaned forward and gave her mother's arm a sloppy baby kiss that made them all laugh.

Later that afternoon, Irina leaned her head back against the headrest, looking out the window at the clouds on the jet back to LA, twirling Lena's curls in her fingers while the baby slept against her chest. Her baby scent was intoxicating and a soft smile appeared on Irina's lips as she thought about her children and the new baby.

There were risks and dangers, days of morning sickness and years of additional worry coming her way but none of that mattered when she looked down at the sleeping child on her chest. Her finger tracing the outline of Lena's ear admiring her tiny features, her little button nose and soft lips, her downy hair that was turning into big curls, her long dark eyelashes and tiny fingers that clutched desperately to her mother even in sleep, her sweet little breaths and smiles in her sleep; _absolute perfection and love_.

Jack returned to his seat and his smile matched Irina's when he sat beside her, his palm going over Lena's back as he leaned over and kissed his wife, looking into her eyes.

_'Everything would be ok.'_

* * *

**_*Good Life*_**

"Oh my…" Irina gasped when she read the paper in her hand, smiling.

"What?" Jack shifted Lena as he lay on the couch, playing with their baby while Irina sat on the other end going through their mail later that night.

Mikhail, Bella, Katya, Sophia, Sergei, Marcelo, Julian, Sydney, Vaughn and Weiss had all gone out for a walk along the beach to watch the sunset and then pick up dinner and bring it back as they had to return to Russia, Italy, and France the following day, save Katya who would be staying with them until the week's end and the Bristow part of the Romanovs made their way to Russia.

"What is _'Oh my'_ worthy?" Jack asked again waiting for Irina's answer.

"It's the results of my blood test from Stockholm," She paused smiling and her eyebrows slanted, biting her lip in thought before she looked up at Jack. "It's negative for Enhancement Drugs, of course… but it does note that the standard pregnancy test was 'positive."

"You were pregnant when you ran the marathon?" Jack gasped softly, in surprise and adding to his concern.

"Apparently so." Irina looked at him and smiled her famous enigmatic smile with playful eyes, passing him the paper, "And according to further testing, we conceived on the night of the Coronation." She giggled at the irony of she and Jack's ability to conceive babies on special events.

Jack's eyes went wide looking from Irina to the paper while trying to keep the baby from tearing it with her need to grab everything. His smile finally reaching his eyes shaking his head thinking Irina's earlier thought about the irony of them and special events.

"Well, how perfect. We started a new chapter in our lives that night, you took over as Tsar of Imperial Russia and we promised each other forever and always." He held his hand out to her smiling as she took it and crawled over on top of him, "And what could be a better culmination," He waited until she was settled halfway on his chest with Lena on the other half, "Of all those things happening on one night than to create a baby out of love in it's purest form?" His lips met hers in tender and sweet kiss.

"Mmm, I love you… my thoughts exactly." Irina smiled and kissed him again twice quickly, much like she had in India for the first time in twenty-one years. "I know what you're thinking." She smiled and laughed, propping her head up on one hand beside him looking from his eyes to Lena who was bobbing back and forth sitting on his chest and smiling as she chewed on her books edges.

"Do you?" Jack mirrored her question from the train with a smile and she laughed, knowing she was exactly right.

"You're thinking about India and the train station when I kissed you like that." Irina's eyes went back to his with a smug smile and teasing. She rather enjoyed the look on his face in that moment, catching him completely off guard.

Jack laughed and shook his head, once again amazed by their ability to read each other's minds.

"Between those kisses and your strip down in the Sleeper Car, you were pushing all my buttons." He shook his head with a tight laugh, "Absolutely unbearable! You weren't fighting fair at all."

"Hey, you set the rules, remember? All's fair in love and war. You tried to have me executed two weeks prior to that trip. I think I was entitled to use all of my weapons and ammo at my disposal." Irina teased him with a smirk and twisted his nipple through his shirt for good measure making him jump.

"Yes, not one of my finer moments." Jack formed a tight line with his mouth and furrowed his brow, absolutely horrified and disgusted with himself over that. "I'm so sorry about that and I will be for eternity."

"Please, I don't want to take our regrets into the next life." Irina looked at him sternly then smiled, "Let's leave those here."

"Good point!" Jack smiled and laughed, knowing she was absolutely incredible and letting him off the hook but not without some tormenting first.

"And then you threw me off the train!" Irina poked him hard repeatedly in the sternum, laughing thinking about that entire scene.

"I had to! There was so much unresolved sexual tension in that car, I was sure we were going to suffocate ourselves and Sydney, if something drastic didn't happen!" Jack answered, grabbing her fingers and stopping the Chinese torture with a smile and laugh.

"Sydney jumped first. You then _threw_ me out! Your logic doesn't work, Bristow!" Irina looked at him pointedly.

"Sydney knew she was leaping out to save her sanity before I threw you down and had my way with you in front of her." Jack countered and Irina burst into a fit of laughter. "You were so damn stubborn!"

"_Me?_" She rose up on her elbow again with wide-eyes laughing, "You were so damn pessimistic with your, '_this jump is suicide, we'll never make it, you're setting us up_,' you were driving me insane! I would've jumped first, like I said, but I didn't want to give you a reason to '_officially_' blow my head off with C4 around my neck, seeing as though you were already trying to come up with logistical ways to do it."

Jack was quiet a moment, trying to think of something to say in response to that, feeling her gaze and smile burning into him.

"It's been noted, that at the time, I wasn't exactly thinking clearly where you were concerned."

"So you threw me out of the train?" Irina looked at him pointedly, tapping her fingers on his chest with a deadly smirk, chiseling away until she got the real answer.

"Yes! Because I knew you were right." He grabbed her drumming fingers once more, "And I just didn't want you to be! And certainly not _admit to it_!" Jack smiled knowing that was the answer she was fishing for.

"_Ah ha!_" Irina smiled, and leaned up to kiss his lips twice like before, content with herself, she let him off the hook. "And here we are almost two years later." Irina added softly, lying her head on his chest and fingering their beautiful baby's cheek.

Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulders and ran his fingers through her hair; his eyes catching their wedding photo on the end table and her gorgeous smile that day; his eyes moved to his baby girl now sitting on his chest wearing the same gorgeous smile as she giggled from her mother's tickling and finally, to the woman on his chest, a welcome weight that had been longed for too many years.

* * *

**_*Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo*_**

"What should we make for dinner?" Irina asked sweetly, cruising through the grocery aisle alongside Sydney pushing the cart with Lena in the child's seat. They'd gone shopping while Julian, Jack and Vaughn went golfing, enjoying their semi-retirement.

"I think we should make something Italian. I've been craving that lately." Sydney voiced her thoughts and inhaled the fresh garlic cheese bread smell floating through the store from the bakery.

"Katya, how do you feel about that since you live in Italy?" Irina smiled and laughed looking over to her sister while she put a bag of potatoes in the cart.

"I think that we should… _What the hell is this music?_" Katya looked around the produce aisle with celery in hand, turning in circles.

"It's _Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo_!" Sydney looked at her aunt incredulously as she leaned on the front of the cart, bobbing her head and singing along to Lena; smiling when Irina joined in.

"Sophia never watched _Cinderella_?" Irina smiled from her sister to her daughter, remembering, "It was one of Sydney's favorites."

"Yes. Of course she did but, why is this music playing in the grocery store?" Katya recognized the song now but flabbergasted as to why it was on.

"To advertise _Disney_." Sydney smiled up at her like it was the most logical explanation. "The grocery chains offer Two-for-One ticket deals to Southern Californian residents for _Disneyland_."

"Ah!" Katya smiled, "I see." She was slightly less irritated by the music now. "Yes, Italian sounds fine but I was thinking, just a suggestion, that we'll be in Russia for some time to come now." She set the celery in the cart and reached for plastic bag to start collecting apples, "Perhaps, we should have something of the Californian Cuisine variety as we only have a few days left here?"

"Mmm, that sounds like a good plan." Sydney continued to bob her head with the music suddenly flooded with memories of watching _Cinderella_ with her mother when she was little.

**_*When You Wish Upon A Star*_**

"I'm remembering, Mom!" Sydney smiled brightly, turning to face her mother busy collecting various fruits. "I remember how, one night you let me leave my Barbie clothes out for the mice to steal; so they'd have clothes!"

Irina started laughing, "Yes! That's right!" She smiled happily, "I'm so glad you're remembering, Sweetheart."

"It's the music, it's triggering memories." Sydney listened closely and handed Lena a rubber teething toy.

"Music has a way of doing that." Katya smiled, placing the bag of green apples into the cart. "Sydney," She paused looking down and giggling.

"What?" Sydney looked up at her aunt with a curious smile.

"It's working, the music. I want to go to _Disneyland_." Katya laughed humming along while Sydney and Irina burst out laughing.

"Well, I suppose we could go tomorrow." Irina smiled, shrugging at her sister's strange request while she put the bags of mangoes into the cart and continued on down the aisle, as did Katya.

Sydney froze instantly, and stayed where she was. Blinking and blinking again at the orange and red fruit in front of her, noting how many there were, and _there were many_… and then to her baby sister in front of her. "_Oh my god_." She inhaled sharply barely above a whisper.

"Sydney, are you coming?" Irina turned around and smiled at her daughter then noticed the look on her face. "Sydney?" She called out softly again to get her attention.

"_Mangoes!_ You're pregnant again!" Sydney practically shouted in shock down the aisle and Irina and Katya's eyes met and then flew around the aisle to see who was in hearing distance that could report it to the Press.

"Sydney," Irina started walking back towards her daughters, speaking in a calm voice, the image of serenity.

"_You are! Aren't you?"_ Sydney looked at her and noticed the glow and the way her mother wasn't refuting her claims.


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): The Beach Song by Hans Zimmer **_**from**_** True Romance Soundtrack, Wild Child **_**by Enya,**_** Wild Horses **_**by The Sundays**_**, Nothing Else Matters**_** by Scala and the Kolacny Brothers.**

* * *

NINE

o

"Sydney, please. Stop shouting." Irina placed her hand on her daughter's forearm smiling and a bit amused by the look on her Sydney's face. "Yes, I am." She whispered with a nod, watching Sydney's eyes grow wider and her pupils practically consume her eyes in shock. "But we're not ready to announce it to the world yet, so please, stop shouting across the store." Her smiled turned to a little laugh, when she kissed her daughter's face. "I love you, Sydney Anne. You make me laugh everyday, thank you." She kept laughing softly and kissed Lena before walking back down the aisle and grabbing things off the shelves like nothing happened. When she turned and Sydney was still frozen in place she called out in her singsong motherly voice, "_Syd_-_ney!_" And finally got her attention.

Sydney had to shake her head, feeling as though she just stepped through the Looking Glass before she could put one foot in front of the other. A slow smile started spreading across her lips thinking about the new information and the insanity that was her family. Before long she was laughing hysterically to no one but herself and started clapping, forcing Katya and Irina to stop and stare at her along with other shoppers, all with wide-eyes, unsure if she was having a mental breakdown until Sydney looked right at her mother, big smile.

"You two. I swear. Oh, that's good." She started laughing again and threw her head back but pushed on and the shoppers eventually went back to what they were doing. "Oh Lena," She looked down at her baby sister smiling and chewing on her toy, "Our parents are unbelievable and God, do I love them for it!"

Irina heard the statement as she picked through a batch of cucumbers and smiled to herself, humming along with the song, _'Your dreams can come true.' _

"_Ok, ok, ok…_let me get the facts straight." Sydney asked from the back seat of the SUV her mother was driving on the way home, sitting next to her sister in her carseat and leaning forward into the seat gap to fire questions at her mother and aunt who was riding passenger. "We're out of the store and no one can hear us… but _us_." She smiled, still riding the euphoric cloud nine of happy shock. "So, you're pregnant?"

"Yes." Irina said softly, shaking her head with a smile. Her daughter was so much like she and Jack. Repeating the statement over and over until they believed it.

"How long have you known?" Sydney smiled and fired away in interrogator mode much to the amusement of Katya.

"Since the morning of the hang-over party in Las Vegas." Irina smiled knowing what the reaction would be.

"Dad's birthday?" Sydney clarified the facts.

"Yes."

"_Buwhahahaha!_" Sydney fell back against the seat, laughing at the irony, knowing she was actually conceived on that date. "When did you tell Dad? Does he know?" She sprang forward in her seat again with wide-eyes and Irina and Katya both laughed.

"Yes, your father knows. I told him later that evening." Irina smiled, fingering her hair behind her ear as she checked the mirrors and switched lanes, getting ready to exit the freeway.

"Who else knows?" Sydney kept firing.

"Well, me, your father, Katya," Irina nodded with her head towards her sister who was smiling, "_Uni-Labs of Stockholm_ and now you." She smiled widely knowing that answer was bound to bring another question.

"Wait a minute. Uni-Labs of Stockholm? The company who did our blood tests for the marathon?" Sydney looked at Irina in the rear-view mirror with the hereditary quirked eyebrow and Irina couldn't stop the bubbling laughter.

"Yes, Sweetheart. They were apparently the first to know."

"You ran the marathon pregnant?" Sydney's voice rose with her eyebrows and Irina nodded. "I don't know why I am surprised by that considering all you did when you were pregnant with Lena: getting shot, stabbed, electrocuted, strangled, jumping off buildings and blowing them up." She shook her head smiling looking to her mother and then aunt and they all started laughing at the grocery list way Sydney had rattled those off and context of what she actually said. "So, how far along are you and when will I get to meet this new sibling?"

"According to the lab results, I should be due in mid-February sometime and as far as conception," Irina smiled already seeing the look in Sydney's eyes, this being one of those things she probably didn't want to know, but did, "The night of the Coronation." She added softly and watched as Sydney's mouth dropped open and gasped before breaking into wild laughter and falling back against the seat.

"I swear, you and Dad! What is it, with you two and these special events?" Sydney was rolling with tears in her eyes. "I was on your honeymoon and Dad's birthday, Lena was your first time together in twenty-one years and your escape from US custody and now this baby comes with Coronation of you as Imperial Tsar of Russia!"

"I don't know, Sweetheart." Irina shrugged and she and Katya began laughing with her. When the laughing died down Irina wiped her teary eyes and shook her head smiling, "I think fate certainly has a way of marking momentous occasions. You were made when our marriage really began that night, and it certainly changed the rest of our lives… Your sister was created out of us finding each other again that night in Panama, connecting the past and the present... and this baby… on the Coronation, a new chapter in all our lives… and the start of our future. You were all made in and from '_love_' at its purest form. Even Julian became our son on a momentous day, leaving the CIA and world of espionage behind us."

"Ok, that _was_ beautiful." Sydney wiped at her tears streaming down her cheeks now not from laughter but from happiness, "Now I know why you were an English Professor." She laughed and leaned forward, hugging her mother from behind the seat as they pulled into the driveway, kissing her on the cheek. "Congratulations, Mom. I'm really happy for you." Sydney smiled and kept her cheek pressed to her mother's while they sat in the car a moment, "You really are the fairy-tale come to life." She whispered thinking about the tales of princesses and princes, kings and queens, and all the _happily-ever-after_ that came with it. That on the night of her mother's Coronation, becoming _Empress of Russia_ and looking every bit the part of someone who was stepping out of a fairy-tale, her mother shared a magical night with her Prince Charming and from it, created their own 'Happily-Ever-After.'

Jack was standing in the kitchen with Julian and Vaughn, having just come back from golfing, their new favorite pastime, when the women came through the door, Sydney leading the way. She spotted her father immediately and couldn't tear the smile off her face as she giggled, dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen island and lunged at Jack and into his arms.

"Congratulations, _Daddy!_" Sydney kissed his cheek giggling and stepped back to gauge his reaction.

Jack stood there with an open mouth, in shock that Sydney obviously knew about her mother being pregnant. Julian and Vaughn were bewildered as to what was going on.

"Congratulations for what?" Julian asked feeling like he missed something. Irina carrying Lena and a couple of bags of groceries came in a minute later and Jack locked eyes with her right away.

"You told her?" He asked with a hint of surprise, having decided with Irina to tell them together.

"Told her what?" Vaughn was looking between the three as confused as Julian.

"I didn't tell her, Jack." Irina smiled and laughed softly, setting the bags on the counter, she reached inside and held up a single mango, "She guessed."

Vaughn's mouth dropped open as he stared at Irina, with the baby on her hip and a mango in her hand, remembering quite vividly what the connection was.

Sydney was giggling again, and her dimples were taking over her face as she took the bags from Katya, coming through the door.

"You should have seen your daughter, Jack." Katya laughed and added her bags to the pile, "Rina and I thought she was having a meltdown with her deep hysterical laughter in the middle of the produce aisle."

Julian was seriously confused, though he began helping put the food items away.

"I am obviously missing something about the connection between '_Congratulations Daddy_' and a mango. Could someone enlighten me?" He looked around at all the faces who were now staring at him, Irina, Sydney and Katya were smiling madly, Jack looked somewhere between smiley and startled and Vaughn… Vaughn was standing in the same spot, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar. "Someone? Anyone?" Julian asked again with a mischievous smile seeing no one offering any information, all looking at each other to see who was going to answer him.

"Get ready '_Little Brother_," Sydney finally smiled and plunged in seeing an opportunity and taking it. "You're no longer going to be the _only_ middle child!"

Julian furrowed his eyebrows in even deeper confusion and paused with the jug of orange juice half way in the fridge and half way out.

"What does that mean, exactly?" He asked immediately.

"Mangoes." Vaughn voiced in a state of shock and all eyes snapped to him.

"What?" Julian was fired back.

"Mangos mean, she's pregnant." Vaughn's eyes finally darted up from the floor to Irina and all eyes snapped back to her and Julian dropped the juice and everyone's heads whipped back to him.

Sydney giggled, knowing the shock he was going through after just going through it as well.

Julian couldn't believe what he'd just heard, and stood frozen, one hand on the fridge door and the other lifeless by his side. His eyes refusing to blink as he stared at Irina and in turn they all stare at him.

"You're pregnant?" He whispered in his state of shock.

"Again?" Vaughn whispered from the other side, sharing the shock.

"Yes." Irina answered smiling softly and slightly amused at the dual states of shock, she moved Lena up higher on her hip as the baby smiled and gurgled happily.

"You're pregnant?" Julian said a little louder, his eyes scanning her body as if somehow there would be an instant belly appearing before his eyes and Jack's smile grew and his body shook with soft laughter.

"I just… you two… I don't… how's this," Vaughn shook his head, stumbling over every question and thought on the tip of his tongue, finally giving up and just saying, "_Wow_," in a whisper of awe.

"You are having another child?" Julian spoke slowly looking at Irina.

Sydney stepped in front of him, grabbing his face in both her hands, trying to hold back laughter looking into his piercing blue eyes as she said mockingly slow, "Yes. She's having another baby." And then lost it again, laughing like she did in the store.

"I'm glad you, find this so funny, Sydney." Jack looked at her practically doubling over.

"Daddy," She wiped the tears from her eyes, still laughing and trying to stop, "I don't think you having another baby is funny. I think the _way you have them_ is funny!" Sydney broke into deep laughter again.

Jack quirked his eyebrow at Sydney then looked at his wife, not sure Katya and Irina weren't right in thinking Sydney had a meltdown. Irina and Katya were both smiling and laughing softly as well, now it was his turn to be out of the loop.

"You and Mom and your special occasions! _That!_ Is what I am laughing at!" Sydney held her sides giggling while looking at her father's confused face, "I was conceived on your birthday and honeymoon, Lena was on your first night together in twenty-one years and anniversary, and now this new baby." She shook her head still laughing, "On the Coronation!" She started coughing from all the laughing as slow smiles spread across Jack, Vaughn and Julian's faces, realizing now why, this was so funny. "Even Julian," She nudged him standing beside her with her elbow smiling, "Was adopted on the day we left the CIA. Every one of your children was 'conceived' on a special occasion!"

Jack looked from Sydney to Julian to Lena and Irina, smiling and nodding with a shrug and small laugh, he grabbed Sydney by the arm and pulled her to his chest, kissing her head while they all laughed.

"The Coronation, huh?" Vaughn shook his head with a smile at the crazy people and stood from the stool walking slowly to Irina. "Congratulations." He kissed her cheek and laughing softly at the irony of this situation. Last time he found out she was pregnant, he was irate with Jack, now he was kissing Irina and smiling with happiness for them.

"Thank you." Irina held his eyes with her own, while smiling and he nodded, widening his smile.

Vaughn held out his hands for Lena and Irina happily passed the baby to him, watching how comfortable he was with her, kissing her little head smiling at Irina before turning to Jack.

"Congratulations." He shook his future-father-in-laws hand with a wide smile.

Julian picked up the orange juice and put it in the fridge; still a bit stunned he shook his head with a smile and stepped forward to Jack, holding out his hand.

"Congratulations."

Jack took his hand returned the smile. "Thank you."

Julian laughed softly, running his hand over the back of Lena's head and zeroed in on Irina. He took the few steps to her, he smiled and hesitated a moment before kissing her cheek and wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

"Congratulations, Mama."

Irina sighed, smiling happily and wrapped her arms around him, holding him there for a moment. "Thank you." She whispered and kissed his head before letting him go. She had come such a long way with him; _he_ had come such a long way.

"When did you learn, you were with child?" Julian asked stepping back and holding onto her hand with smiling eyes. He would never tire of this side of Irina, _his mother_, still full of surprises.

"Dad's birthday." Sydney giggled from behind them, still snuggled into Jack's shoulder.

"Another special occasion." Julian smiled and shook his head.

"Do you know when you're due?" Vaughn asked, bouncing with Lena and tickling her; always loving making her smile.

"We haven't gone to the doctor yet." Irina smiled and resumed putting the groceries away. "We're seeing Alexei next week." She turned her smile to Jack, this being the first baby, first pregnancy that he was going to be with her on the first doctor's visit. "But sometime in mid-February, I guess."

Sydney's eyes went wide, just thinking about it for the first time, and then inhaled sharply, her eyes flashing to her mother's.

"_Mom!_"

Irina looked up at her hearing from the tone she was expected to know something Sydney thought she should. Seeing the look on her daughter's face and repeating what she said she realized what Sydney was wide-eyed about. "No…" Irina laughed and touched her forehead, not believing this was possible, and yet, with them… it was.

"Our Anniversary." Jack caught on to what 'special occasion' was in the middle of February. "You don't think?" He looked wide-eyed at Irina, a hint of a smile.

"It's entirely possible." Irina looked back at him with a shrug and a laugh, "Babies don't always arrive when they should."

"Yeah, but nine months from the Coronation lands just about, right on your anniversary!" Sydney started laughing again, turning her face slightly into her father's chest; shaking her head. "The irony of this; is just too much!"

"There's just one thing." Julian spoke slowly with a curious smile, "The mangoes?"

* * *

_Moscow, Russia_

Irina felt the cotton taste in her mouth growing stronger as they sat in the darkened theatre watching the premiere of the film in Moscow. She kept trying to swallow the nauseous feelings taking over and the images on screen weren't helping.

They were currently at the part where she'd just arrived at the Kashmir prison, being beaten and tortured and knowing that in just minutes she'd watch Cuvee start punching the 'life' out of her.

Unable to stop the overwhelming feelings surging through her now with the pregnancy, on top of the nausea, she pushed on Jack's knee with a pained look and tears in her eyes. Jack immediately saw how pale she was and stood to let her pass, knowing that she was about to be sick.

Irina stood rapidly in her beautiful gown and stepped into the aisle making a beeline out the back of the dark theatre; thankful they were in the balcony so millions of eyes didn't see her leaving.

Before Jack could sit back down, Sydney holding Katya's hand followed Irina out and Jack gave them both a thankful smile. He wished he could go with Irina but somehow the husband of the Tsar following her into the Ladies Room would certainly set off alarm bells for a number of reasons to onlookers eyes.

"Mom?" Sydney called out cautiously entering the bathroom with Katya and immediately saw the Irina in her elegant gown heaving into the toilet; crown in one hand, holding her hair with the other.

Sophia and Bella shared a concerned look, seeing the images on screen and the fact that Irina, Sydney and Katya had all left, they took hold of each other's hands, nudging both Mikhail and Marcelo to let them pass.

"Oh, My Darling," Katya was kneeling beside Irina, holding her hair while Sydney held the crown, looking pained at her mother hearing the painful retching. "I'll get something to wipe and rinse your mouth." Katya stood and made way for the sink, sharing a soft smile with Sydney on her way by. She no sooner turned back from the sink then Sophia and Bella came through the door at the exact same time Irina surged forward and vomited again.

Bella gasped to see such a sight, placing her hand over her chest trying to understand the scene in front of her; the Empress bent over the toilet vomiting while her daughter stood behind her, holding her crown and looking sheepishly at them with a wide grin and a shrug. _Smiles,_ meant they weren't concerned for Irina that this was ok and then it hit her.

"She's pregnant…" Bella gasped, covering her mouth in surprise with both hands and smiling eyes as Sophia's mouth fell open when Katya and Sydney both nodded while Irina dry-heaved on the floor beside them again.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia_

"Tsarina, another miracle!" Alexei walked into the room where Jack and Irina were sitting anxiously awaiting, with a big smile on his face and arms open. He engulfed Irina into a hug, and kissed both cheeks, holding her face to look at her a minute. "Hello, Your Highness." He greeted Jack with a slight nod and saw Jack's immediate shift in eyes, still not comfortable with his title.

Irina was absolutely glowing, perched on the exam table and the butterflies in her stomach would not subside until she heard the baby's heart beat.

"I couldn't believe it when you called to make the appointment." The older man smiled and shook his head. "I looked over your blood tests from Sweden, you're definitely pregnant!"

"That's good to know," Irina smiled back at him, putting her hand over her lower abdomen. "Or I'd have a hard time explaining what this growing belly is from." She smiled her famous grin as both Jack and Alexei laughed as he listened to her heart. "Over the last two weeks it seems to have doubled in size." She looked down where her hand was covering it, smiling.

"How else are you feeling?" Alexei asked concerned, knowing she was essentially a Diabetic.

"Fine, except that I am absolutely miserable every morning like clock-work and then whenever it decides to hit." Irina sighed with a half smile thinking about how terrible morning sickness was. "I've never had morning sickness before and I hope," She exaggerated the word with a playful smile, "That I am almost out of that stage soon. I don't like the idea of my face becoming so intimate with the toilet." She added and both Jack and Alexei laughed heartily at her humor.

"She spent the entire flight here, in the bathroom lying on the floor." Jack offered with a smile of amusement and sympathy, taking her hand and squeezing it. "I've never seen anyone vomit that much."

"With that much vomiting, how have your numbers been?" Alexei asked taking her blood pressure.

"Crazy and all over the map at first," Irina sighed heavily and her shoulders fell slightly, "But I think I've figured out how to keep it in control and they've been fairly steady for the last week." She gave him a small smile seeing the concern in the older man's eyes.

"We're going to have to keep a sharp eye on that." Alexei gave her another look of concern, "You're already a High-Risk pregnancy; we must stay on top of this." He looked at her and they both nodded, the seriousness of the situation dripping in and Irina squeezed Jack's hand more tightly. "Now enough of the seriousness," Alexei smiled seeing their nervousness, and helped her lay back with Jack standing by her side on the opposite side of the exam table. She pulled her shirt up and exposed the little visible mound just below and her smile returned instantly. "How are the wedding plans coming along?" He asked smiling and squirting the green jelly onto her lower abdomen.

"Everything is set, and ready to go. Now we just wait for the day to actually arrive." Irina smiled to Alexei then turned to Jack with a knowing nod, they were excited and anxious about that, too.

"And our beautiful little Tsarevicha?" Alexei smiled widely while he pulled the ultrasound machine to them and took a seat on the metal stool, "How is she doing?"

The question immediately brought forth a radiating smile out of Irina and Jack.

"She is fantastic." Irina smiled turning her attention back to Alexei thinking about her beautiful baby, "Getting too big, too fast. She's crawling everywhere and into everything she can get her little hands on." She smiled and the shared a laugh, "It won't be long before she's walking, I can tell." Her smile took on a hint of sadness that her baby was growing up rapidly.

"She is a beautiful baby, just like her mother was." Alexei's smile widened looking from Jack to Irina with the wand hovering over her belly, "I'm very excited to _finally_ be able to deliver one of your glorious children!" He laughed, as did the expectant parents. "Now, let's have a look at this baby!"

Jack squeezed Irina's hand with a big smile, finally sharing a first with her in regards to their children. Irina had gone to the first appointment alone with every other child.

The smiles were short lived and fell immediately from their faces, a knot formed in each of their guts knowing something was wrong when they heard the first sounds of the baby's heartbeat.

Tears instantly forming in Irina's eyes as they looked at their baby for the first time on the screen and heard the erratic heartbeat.

"Alexei…" She called out his name in barely a whisper, asking the question of what was wrong without asking.

Alexei narrowed his eyebrows and moved the wand around to get a clearer view of the heart, to see what was wrong with the baby's heart and Irina gasped when they saw it.

"Is that what I think it is?" Jack asked quietly, unable to breathe as fear gripped him straight through the heart and he squeezed Irina's hand tightly.

"Yes, it is." Alexei turned his head slowly to them both, "You're having _twins_." He finally smiled and Jack collapsed, banging his head on the exam tray before hitting the ground, out cold.

* * *

**_*The Beach Song*_**

Irina was in a state of shock, having gone from happiness at seeing her baby, to absolute fear when they heard the erratic heart-beat, to stunned when they saw the second baby, and panic when Alexei confirmed it. It took a moment for her to even register that Jack was no longer by her side; all ability to hear and see apparently vanishing temporarily for her with the words of, '_you're having twins_.'

"_Tatiana!_" Alexei yelled for the nurse who came running in to help him with Jack and Irina snapped out of it.

"_Jack!_" Irina sprang forward to a sitting position and saw her husband on the floor, absolutely out cold and bleeding from the side of his forehead where he hit the metal tray on the way down. "_Jack!_" She gasped again, in a moment of panic herself, unable to function beyond saying his name over and over again as a swirling vortex of emotions swept through her. "_Jack!"_

"Here doctor," The nurse handed him some smelling salt, and quickly knelt beside him in front of Jack on the floor and placing gauze pads over his cut. "This is deep. He's going to need sutures." The nurse frowned, looking from Jack to Irina and back. "What happened?"

Alexei ripped open the smelling salts, "Twins." He answered seriously then broke into a big smile and laughed with the nurse, who was equally stunned but smiling radiantly, looking once again from Jack out cold on the floor, and to Irina, their fearless Tsar, who was pale and in obvious shock as she looked down at them.

The word registered again floating through the tsunami of feelings inside Irina and she began repeating in a whisper, "_Twins… twins_…"

"This isn't working." Alexei kept waving the salt in front of Jack's nose but he was out cold. "Let's move him to the chair and let him wake up on his own." The good doctor smiled and helped the nurse pull Jack from the floor and prop him up in a chair. He looked at the gash on Jack's forehead and shook his head with a smile. "He's going to need at least four sutures. Can you please start with those while I finish with the Tsar?"

"Yes, of course doctor." The nurse smiled warmly at her beautiful Empress and set to work pulling supplies from the cabinets.

"Tsarina," Alexei called out to Irina who was seemingly staring into space in the direction of Jack, "_Tsarina_," He called to her again and she didn't move, "Empress… Your Majesty… _Irina!_" He finally reached out to touch her cautiously, knowing she was lethal if startled from the years of caring for her after 'battle.'

Irina slowly turned her head towards the smiling man.

"Lay down, please." He helped her slowly to lie back down and put the wand back on her stomach as the nurse began stitching up an unconscious Jack.

Once again, the sound of two clashing heartbeats filled the air and two distinct babies appeared.

"_Twins?_" Irina asked him quietly, having to know for sure that's what he said, and that's what she was seeing as she blinked hard repeatedly then stare only to blink again.

"You're not seeing double child," Alexei laughed seeing her hard blinking. "You're really seeing _two_… perfect babies." He turned back to smile at her, "Twins."

* * *

Mikhail, Bella, Vaughn, Sydney, Julian, Katya, Marcelo, Sophia, Sergei and Lena were all in the garden watching Lena pulling herself up on her toy table in her play area, standing a minute until everyone was watching then falling down purposely with a fit of giggles and clapping for herself as everyone cheered. They were all waiting for Irina and Jack to return from the clinic with news on the baby.

"She's the cutest kid I've ever seen." Vaughn smiled, laughing and held the side of the table down securely as she once again pulled herself up. "Look at that determination."

"Do you not remember, who her parents are?" Mikhail asked his son with a laugh, enjoying watching his son playing with the baby on the grass.

"She looks exactly, like Irina at the same age." Katya smiled, marveling at her sister's baby.

"_Mom! Dad!"_ Sydney spotted her parents walking towards them and jumped up excitedly to hear the news. "So, do we know the sex of the baby? Girl? Boy? When it's-_Dad! What happened to your head?_" Her eyes immediately going to the row of fresh blue stitches in her father's forehead as they neared. "What's wrong?" She asked quickly with her heart racing seeing the void looks on her parents face, the way they were seemingly in a trance, and she feared the worse.

"Nothing's wrong." Irina answered finally looking up to meet Sydney's eyes.

"The baby is ok, then?" Sydney held her breath waiting for her mother to answer, as her father was clearly not responding.

"Yes." Irina said softly, nodding slowly a slow smile coming to her face and everyone was on their' feet in concern and waiting on baited breath to find out what happened then.

"What happened to your head, Dad?" Sydney stepped close enough to count the stitches and searched her parents eyes for understanding, something was not right.

"He fainted and hit his head." Irina turned her face to look at her husband, still in shock, not having said a thing the entire way home, waking up only after the stitches were put in his head, and more smelling salts were waved in front of his noise with a little slapping from the nurse.

"_What?_ Why?"

"Because you're having another girl? And Jack realized he was going to be living with _four _Derevko women?" Marcelo guessed, and began laughing softly with everyone else but Sydney who was still concerned, not knowing what was going on.

"You're having another girl? Is that it?"

"Yes, we're having another girl." Irina smiled brightly, nodding softly when Sydney's smile appeared at the thought of another little sister.

"_A girl!"_ She squealed thinking about another little sister.

"And a boy." Jack added in a strange, higher in pitch voice than normal; surprising everyone first by the fact he was talking, and then with what he said.

Katya gasped, covering her mouth as tears flooded her eyes.

"_What?_" Sydney asked barely above a whisper with wide-eyes that were on everyone's faces. "A girl… _and_… a boy." She couldn't believe what she was hearing even as her mother nodded, and pulled out three sonogram photos, handing them one at a time to Sydney with a raging smile and unshed tears.

"Girl." Irina placed the first in her hand and Sydney started to tear up at the beautiful little baby's outline. "Boy." Irina handed her the next and her own tears began to fall, still in shock herself and nodding with ragged breath as Sydney's eyes darted up to hers' and more tears surged forth from her eyes. "_Twins._" She handed her the last sonogram of the babies together.

"Oh my god!" Sophia gasped with glee, finding tears in her own eyes. "Twins! Just like Sergei and I! I guess it runs in the family!"

"Well, that explains the previously, un-experienced morning sickness." Katya smiled through her tears, and stepped forward to hug Irina. "You're having twins!" She said softly and held her tightly, crying tears of joy for her sister.

"Twins." Sydney repeated in shock while the others looked over her shoulders to see the photos. "Twins!" She looked up with an enormous smile and threw her arms around her mother and aunt, already embracing and let loose a peel of giggles.

"All right! The two for one deal!" Marcelo stepped up and grabbed Jack's hand, seeing the man was still in shock, and laughing, having been there once himself. "Don't worry, the shock will eventually wear off in, oh say… _six or seven years!_" He laughed and slapped Jack on the back. "Congratulations. Welcome to the club!" His smile widened, "Although, with Lena being only fifteen months older, it will seem more like triplets… at least for a while! Three in diapers!" His laughter brought Jack's face up and his mouth fell open, thinking about it.

"Marcelo!" Katya stepped away from Irina and towards Jack, "Stop scaring him! It will be fine, Jack. I promise you." She smiled and held his face in her hands, "And look at all these eager baby-sitters you have here!" She turned her head to the smiling faces behind her. "It will be fine… more than fine!" She had turned her gaze back to him, "It will be simply… _wonderful!_"

"When are they due?" Bella asked, hugging Irina tightly now that it was her turn.

"February 18th." Irina smiled and wiped at her tears of happiness, knowing that the enormity of this wouldn't settle in for a while.

"This is certainly another reason for celebration," Mikhail smiled widely and brought Irina into his arms slowly, kissing her head. "Let us go in and celebrate in true Russian fashion, with food and vodka! Julian's birthday," He smiled over at the blonde standing off to the side quietly, "And the discovery of twins!"

"Another special occasion." Sydney turned her eyes to Julian with a soft smile.

* * *

After dinner, Irina scooped up Lena and quietly slipped outside, needing a moment to herself to absorb the news. She made her way back down to the garden and smiled brightly at her baby girl bobbing excitedly in her arms. She sat on the blanket still spread on the grass where they'd been playing before and let Lena crawl off her lap.

**_*Wild Child*_**

Lena zeroed in on her favorite toy, the yellow bear, Kendall gave to her and crawled to it, sitting down and grabbing the fuzzy object with a big toothy smile at her Mama. Irina smiled at her in turn, watching her little curls blowing in the soft breeze as the sun began to set.

The baby began to babble incessantly and giggle, she started crawling back towards her Mama with determination.

"Hello, Beautiful." Irina smiled when Lena grabbed onto her with a smile, finding her favorite person in the world, _Mama_. "Oh Lena," She sighed thinking about how much this baby had changed her life.

"Mama, Mama," Lena bounced and babbled as she wrapped her little hands around Irina's fingers to stand in front of her.

Irina's eyes went to where the tiny digits were wrapped around her fingers; her own thumbs caressing the soft puffy backs of her baby's hands.

Tears were already forming in her eyes before she looked up and caught Lena staring directly into her eyes, with her own big brown eyes, the same eyes as her mother, smiling and giggling when Irina smiled back.

"Mama." Lena smiled and let go with one hand to reach for Irina.

Irina let her tears fall with a smile as she scooped her baby up into her arms, holding her to her chest, burying her face into Lena's sweet little neck while she held her close.

"I love you, Sweet Girl, to the moon and back, more than stars in the Heaven's and the grains of sand on Earth, forever and always, Lena." She whispered into her ear and laughed softly when Lena gave her a slobbery open-mouthed kiss. "You always know how to make everything better. A way of putting everything into perspective for me." Irina smiled at her baby, rubbing noses with her. Any tension or anxiousness she was feeling over having twins, left with looking at her baby and hearing her, call her, _Mama_. Her children were the most important thing in her life and she smiled at the thought of adding another two, to the family.

Jack had noticed that Irina was absent from the living room and stepped into the kitchen looking for her. He saw the French doors open and just outside, Katya was focusing the lens of the camera, he followed her line of sight and saw the absolutely beautiful picture she was capturing.

In the distance, his wife was sitting in the garden amongst the mass of millions of flowers, with Lena facing her in her arms, both smiling and laughing as Irina tickled their baby, the soft light of magic hour as the sunset behind them creating a breathtaking scene, completely unaware of Katya or Jack's presence. He watched them silently for a few minutes looking at how happy Irina was with the baby and his own heart smiled, all fear of the prospect of twins abating as he watched the beautiful mother and child before him.

"_Three times_ the hugs," Katya spoke softly with a smile as she turned to find Jack watching them with a smile on his face and knowing he was concerned about the prospect of _three_ babies in diapers all at the same time. "_Three times_ the kisses. _Three times_ as many, '_I love you, Daddy_." Her smile widened as Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulders kissing her head with a soft laugh. She was right and his heart began to thunder in his chest at the prospect.

"She's an amazing mother." Jack whispered in awe watching Irina playing with Lena, never tiring of watching them. She was always the happiest when she was with her children. "They're so beautiful together."

"They are one in the same." Katya smiled softly, her hand resting on Jack's chest watching her sister with her baby. They stayed that quietly for a moment, just watching.

"I went from a father of one, to a father of five," Jack wondered out loud softly with a smile, "In less then a year."

"You and Rina, are certainly making up for lost time." Katya smiled and laughed, grabbed his hand, "Come on, let's stop spying," Her smile reached her eyes with the remark, "And let them be."

Jack nodded and followed her, turning back once to take one last look at them, smiling, he went inside.

* * *

**_*Wild Horses*_**

A couple of hours later, Irina was lying on her bed resting and reading over work documents. Everyone else was downstairs watching a movie in the theatre. She had put Lena to bed just over a half hour ago after tiring the baby out playing with her in the garden. When she looked up and saw Jack leaning in the doorway she smiled.

"Hey," She put the documents down, smiling at him and giving him his cue to come over. "How is your head?"

Jack reached up and touched the bruised area the stitches held together and laughed softly as he crawled across the bed towards her, lying down on his side next to her. "I've had worse, though I can't say any of those were self-inflicted wounds." He laughed and picked up her hand, kissing it. "I'm sorry I passed out on you." His eyes met with hers with an apologetic smile, "I missed most of the appointment."

"There will be plenty more." She brushed her fingers with a smile down his cheek, laughing softly thinking about today's events. "Don't feel too badly… I zoned out there for awhile, too."

Jack laughed with her, playing with her fingers.

"I've only fainted twice in my life… after Sydney's delivery, when I was still bleeding out from a my own wound." He laughed, "And hearing the words, '_you're having twins_."

"I was terrified, when I heard the heartbeat like that," Irina felt tears pooling in her eyes and shook hear own head remembering that moment of panic, "I knew something wasn't right… and then there they were." She turned her sad eyes to his with a smile. "Two heartbeats mixed together."

"We're really having twins." Jack smiled still in awe though getting excited; he moved his hand over Irina's belly, pushing up her shirt and staring at the soft curve, his fingers reaching out to lightly trace it.

"Are you really okay with it now?" Irina asked softly, threading her fingers through his hair, happy to see him smiling.

"Absolutely." His eyes flashed back to hers and he rolled over more and kissed her belly softly. "Another baby is just more of you, for me to love." He spoke softly with a smile.

Irina gasped softly at his words and felt her tears falling with a smile, watching his lips hovering over her belly and kissing it gently once more before leaning up to cup her face and capture her lips.

"More of _you_, for me to love." She repeated to him, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. "I love you, Jack."

"As I love you, Irina." He kissed her again sweetly and moved his head down to rest on her chest; listening to her heart beating and staring at her belly while his fingers went back to caressing it and she ran her fingers through his hair. "It's fascinating to think, there are _two_ babies in there." Jack's fingers danced softly over her satiny skin, dipping in and out of her upper abdominal muscles outline until they began to disappear now that her belly was growing.

"Yes." Irina smiled softly in her own awe. "I can't believe I'm going to be the mother of _five_."

Jack laughed and it vibrated against her chest, causing her smile to widen.

"I was just talking about that with your sister. How, I went from being the father of one, to a father of five in less then a year."

"What did Katya say?" Irina laughed softly with him, still tracing lazy patterns through his hair.

"That we're '_certainly making up for lost time_." He snuggled in closer if that was possible, draping one leg over hers and placing his palm over their babies with a smile. "I guess we are."

Irina moved her arm around his shoulders and laced the other hand's fingers with Jack's over her belly.

"I always wanted to make lots of babies with you." She smiled wistfully, thinking about her dreams then, becoming a reality now.

"And I you." Jack's smile held the same wistful look, "As much as it pained me sometimes, to look at Sydney and see you." He swallowed hard, remembering Sydney's statement on the plane that day. She was right, but for the wrong reasons. "It also made me long for you, and a life that was never going to be." His seriousness took on a smile, "Never' turned out to be just a twenty-one year delay." He laughed when she did. "_Twins_…" He repeated, still absorbing it in.

"Twins." Irina nodded with a smile, "And finding out on Julian's birthday." She laughed softly, "Another special occasion."

Their family was seemly riding along with the cosmic fates of time.

"Yes, big things seem to happen for us on special occasions." Jack smiled nuzzling his face against her chest and inhaling her perfume. "Speaking of Julian." His thumb began caressing her fingers where they were entwined. "He seemed _different_ tonight, didn't he?" Jack was almost as shocked as Irina was, hearing the words come out of his mouth, that his relationship with the young man had changed so drastically that he was now able to read his moods. "He's just normally, I don't know… He's seem to come out of his proverbial shell the last few months but tonight, it was like he had crawled back in." He sighed, "I don't know… maybe he's in shock over the news of the babies, too."

Julian had hardly spoken at all during dinner even when they were toasting to his twenty-fourth birthday and opening gifts, he seemed rather subdued.

"Oh no." Irina seemed to deflate beneath him, letting out a whispered deep breath. She had a feeling, she knew exactly what was wrong with him and started to move Jack off her in a frenzied pace. "I know what's wrong."

"_What?_" Jack sat up concerned now seeing his wife fly out of the bed and towards the door. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go talk to him." Irina set out with determination to find her son, she bound down the marble staircase, almost running, leaving Jack to sit on the bed staring at the door, in confusion. She slid quietly through the doors of the theatre and scanned the bodies lying on the various couches and chairs in front of the massive movie screen, not spotting Julian anywhere. "Where's Julian?" She asked softly and all heads whipped to her, startled by her presence.

"I don't know." Vaughn answered with surprise looking around, "He was here just a minute ago."

The sneaky blue-eyed blonde had vanished it seemed when no one was watching.

"I'll find him." Irina smiled and stepped back towards the door, "It's ok, sorry to interrupt." As quickly as she entered she was gone and they went back to watching the film.

She checked the kitchen and he wasn't there and scanned the security monitors to see if she could spot him anywhere. When the screen flashed to Lena's room she found him, just standing over the crib watching her sleep and she knew her suspicions about what was wrong, were right. She pivoted quickly on her heel and set out for the upstairs again.

"Irina," Jack met her half way up the stairs with hands out signaling her to stop, wondering what she was doing. "What's going on?"

"We're having a baby _boy_, Jack." Irina looked up at him with sadness and happiness all mixed together and Jack didn't understand. "Julian is the only son I've ever really known." She spoke slowly and saw the realization slowly seeping in. "And now we're having a baby _boy_, a biological son, one we've created." She blinked hard trying to hold back her tears.

Jack felt the unexpected pressure clenching his heart with understanding. Usually, this was the kind of thing you dealt with in younger children, when new siblings were added to the family and the older ones thought they were being replaced… that somehow their parents wouldn't love them as much.

"Do you want me to come with you? To talk to him?" Jack swallowed hard, and brushed his fingers against her cheek as he cupped her head.

"I think I better do this one alone." Irina gave him a small smile and he nodded in understanding without having to have the conversation.

Irina was the one who raised him, couldn't show him any affection. He was her _only son_ after the loss of baby Jack, then they adopted him, she showered him with love too long been denied and he was thriving. Now he learned today, that she was carrying another baby boy, another son, one created from her body, from love with her 'soul-mate.' She was the only one, who could convince him that he was going to be loved no less, with the addition of another son.

"I'm here if you need me." Jack kissed her forehead and then her lips and she gave him, a quick smile, kissing his lips once more and trotted up the stairs while he went down.

Irina smiled, bracing herself against the nursery door thinking about how wonderful her husband was and took a deep breath, quietly entering the darkened room.

**_*Nothing Else Matters *_**

Julian's head quickly snapped to hers as she walked slowly and quietly towards him at the crib in the center of the room. The moonlight cascading in through the windows, casting a blue light on his face and the white crib; she gave him a small smile as she came to stand on the opposite side of Lena's bed. His eyes carried the surprise of her standing before him, and yet she still saw the heartbreak he was trying to hide.

"She's like an angel… so perfect." Julian looked back down to where Lena was sleeping, on her stomach with knees pulled up under her, her little head to the side and sucking on her thumb, covered by a soft white blanket. His fingers reached out gently to feather through her baby curls. "You make beautiful babies, Irina."

Irina's heart clenched immediately and tears sprang to her eyes, solidifying with his statement what he was feeling but tearing her apart when he called her '_Irina_,' instead of '_Mama_,' like he had for the past few months now.

"Julian," She reached across the crib and held his forearm, tears failing to be unshed and now slowly making their way down her cheeks, feeling like a piece of her heart was ripped out in the instant he went back to calling her _Irina_.

"And now you're going to have your son." Julian wouldn't look up at her, fighting off his own tears and feeling his own heart crushing with the loss.

"No, Julian. Now I'm going to have '_another_' son. Julian," Irina called out again seeing he was refusing to look at her, trying desperately to keep hold of him.

"I'm sure he'll be as every bit as beautiful as his sisters, Irina." He was pulling away emotionally and physically as he pulled his arm closer to his body, away from her touch that hurt too much now.

Irina's heart felt like it was being stabbed repeatedly in ways she never knew were possible until this moment.

"Julian," She moved around the crib quickly and pulled him to her, holding him tightly and he stood there unmoving, tensing up. "You're my son in everyway that matters. I love you. You are _mine_," She pulled back to look in his glacial blues eyes, her hands on either side of his face. "You were mine from the moment I picked you up off that curb and I'm so sorry I wasn't able to be the kind of mother you deserved then… but I'm trying to be now. Please, don't take that away from me." Her breath caught as she inhaled a shaky breath. "Please don't call me, Irina. I can't handle it, not after I've heard you call me, _Mama_… It feels like being stabbed repeatedly in my heart to hear my name instead of, _Mama_, come out of your mouth now."

Julian's tears began to fall with hers but he remained rigid, his chest squeezing painfully at seeing the pain in her eyes and a hint of fear… something he'd never seen unless one of _her children_ were in danger or sick, hurting in some way and she couldn't do anything to help, Sydney or Lena. But this was the first time he was seeing it for him.

"But I'm not really your child," He whispered.

She inhaled sharply as a pained look spread across her face, more tears pooling in her eyes.

"Yes! You are! You're _my child_, Julian!" Irina held his face more tightly in her hands, whispering as to not wake the baby, "I couldn't love you more, if you came from my own body!" Irina wiped his fallen tears with her thumbs, and then threw her arms around his neck holding on tightly. "Please believe in that. Just because I am having another son, doesn't mean I will love you… any less." The childlike way her own voice dipped and swayed with emotion finally started to tear down the walls he begun to erect again. "Come with me." She suddenly sniffed, grabbing his hand and pulling him determinedly behind her out the door. She opened the door to her bedroom and pulled her in behind him, Julian's eyes going wide at never going into her bedroom, this bedroom, before. She went to the far side of the bed and sat down next to her nightstand, pulling him to sit next to her. "What do you see?" Irina looked into his piercing blue eyes, blurry with unshed tears and then to the nightstand.

Julian swallowed hard and stared at the photographs in the frames beside her bed and one in particular that he'd never seen, but remembered being taken long ago.

"Go on. What do you see? Tell me." She encouraged him, still holding his hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.

His eyes fell to another photograph of the beautiful smiling woman beside him with Jack on her wedding day. Her eyes sparkling and her smile radiant in the photograph, a sharp contrast to the serious looking, tear stricken face beside him now.

"I see… a photograph of you and Jack on your wedding day." He answered softly.

"And what else?" Irina sniffed and prompted him to continue.

"I see a photograph of Sydney… while we were in Rome." He stared at the photograph, unmoving. He knew what she was doing and she knew that he was stalling.

"And?"

"A photograph of Lena on the first day she crawled." A small smile tugged at his lips seeing the smiling baby and remembering the day well.

"And?" This was the one she was waiting for him to acknowledge, knowing he saved it for last because he understood her intent with this little demonstration.

He took a deep breath, still unbelieving what he was seeing.

"A photograph of you and me." It had been taken when he was just five years old. He was in her arms and she was smiling.

"The first photograph taken of us together." Irina gave him a small smile, brushing her tears off her face, before turning back to look at the nightstand. "Photographs of _my children_." She turned back to look at him, reaching up to brush a single fallen tear from his face, "Photographs of _my family_. The first thing I think about when I wake up every morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. _My children_," She sighed swallowing the tears threatening to start falling again and smiled, "Mean _everything_ to me. You, mean everything to me, Julian. You're _my_ son. Please don't pull away from me. I love you… _I_ _need you_."

Julian understood the heavy significance with the last three words, her use of '_need_.' He'd learned a great deal about the woman before him over the years and even more in the last six months, but the one thing he knew to be true of her then and now, was that she _never_ 'needed' very much in regards to people, was rather self-sufficient on her own and rarely every used the word.

"I _need you_, Julian." Irina repeated seeing in his eyes the way that statement affected him and tearing down more of the newly built walls.

The look in her big, dark eyes, the flickers of light and the way she held his gaze intensely, the raw emotion inside those depths… She was letting him see into her soul; a sacred safely guarded secret garden inside that he doubted few had ever had the privilege of seeing so up close and personal.

"What do you see?" Irina asked softly, barely above a whisper holding his intense gaze.

There was no denying what he saw inside her eyes, and his own eyes welled with tears once more as his heart finally believed her truth. His slow smile was her answer.

"I need you too, Mama." He gave her back the deserving title and she threw her arms around him once more, exhaling the breath she didn't realize she was holding as more tears fell; one hand to the back of his head, her arms tightly around his neck. "And I love you, too." He added, his own arms going around her tightly. "I feel rather silly about all-" Julian began as he pulled back with a soft smile and Irina grabbed his forearm.

"_Don't_. You have nothing to feel silly about." Irina smiled her radiant grin that he loved so much, watching as she dried her eyes and collected herself. "Your birthday gift-"

"Yes, I am terribly excited to drive my new Enzio, thank you." He smiled thinking about his fire engine red car and Irina returned the smile, happy to see his reaching his eyes.

"I'm happy that you like it. I knew how much you enjoyed driving mine so… I ventured a guess you'd like your own." She smiled and pushed the loose hair behind her ear. "But that's not the gift I was referring to." She saw the curious quirk in his eyebrow, "I'm not going to tell you what it is. Only, that it won't arrive for a couple of weeks or so. That… is your real gift." Irina inhaled slowly with a smile, hoping beyond belief her instincts weren't wrong and that he was ready. "I'm sorry you're going to have to wait, but that's as soon as I could get it here."

"You are being very enigmatic, Mama." Julian was truly curious now, knowing what she was capable of. "I do not get any hints that would help me to venture a guess?"

"Any hints would give away the surprise factor, and I, for one, am extremely looking forward to the look on your face." She laughed deviant like and leaned forward, kissed his forehead and then pulled on his hand for him to follow her again. He knew she wasn't about to reveal anything, and he would have to wait.

"No hints? Nothing?" He asked again, laughing as they walked hand in hand down the stairs, Irina refusing to relinquish the contact.

"Something you've always wanted." Irina answered softly then turned her smile to his making their way towards the theatre.

"I cannot think of any item that I wanted, that you have not given me already." He answered honestly; then furrowed his eyebrows again in thought when all she did was say '_Hmm_,' in response. Clearly, he was missing something again.


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): ******__J.S. Bach: Cello Suite No.1,1, _******by Yo-Yo Ma**_********__, In Trutina _******by Sarah Brightman**_********__, _Ring of Fire **by Johnny Cash,**_** The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer,**_** Forever Young **_**by Rod Stewart**

* * *

TEN

o

"Hello?" Weiss dropped his bags the moment he was inside the enormous foyer of Alexander, leading the pack of people who'd just landed in St. Petersburg for the wedding.

Irina had sent the Imperial Jet to pick up everyone coming from Los Angeles since there were so many of them coming. Ben Devlin and his wife Karen, Dixon and his date Director Hayden Chase, Dr. Ryan Peterson and Ann, Weiss, Carrie and Marshall, Vicki Crane, Kendall and his date, Dr. Judy Barnett and a very special guest, Will Tippin.

Those who had never been to the palace before were awestruck as they stood behind Weiss with wide-eyes in absolute shock.

Director Chase had begun dating Dixon a little over a month ago and couldn't believe she was standing. First, in the home of Irina Derevko, someone she spent years trying to track down and arrest, and second, that this same person was in fact, the Imperial Tsar of all Russia. She was more than nervous and uncomfortable, her stomach a tight ball of nerves.

Judy Barnett was feeling the same awe about being in the Imperial Alexander Palace, the official residence of the Imperial Family of Russia. Being in this place was really bringing home the fact of who Irina and her family really were. She was less nervous when thinking about the woman who, a little more then a month ago had been wasted drunk with, and danced upon a bar. Judy smiled to herself with the thought of that night, that entire weekend. She had gone for a class reunion and instead hooked up with the Romanov women and their Bachelorette Party and in doing so, had hooked up with Paul Kendall.

The Petersons, Vicki and Will were frozen where they stood feeling as though they stepped into an alternate universe.

"Hello!" Sydney yelled back, running eagerly towards the group who had just arrived.

Jack and Vaughn following her having been with her in the kitchen helping to prepare dinner when they heard Weiss's voice that echoed off the marble interior on the security monitors in the kitchen.

"There's the bride-to-be!" Weiss grabbed her and swung her off her feet, twirling her around with a kiss. "Are you excited for Saturday? Nervous? Thinking about running like hell away from this guy?" He smiled widely and threw his arm around Vaughn.

"Not a chance." Sydney smiled, grabbing Vaughn's face and giving him a quick peck while everyone 'awed.'

"Director Chase, Judy." Jack smiled addressing the women and snickering on the inside remembering Judy as a Fem-bot. "I'm so glad you both could join us."

"_Will!_" Sydney looked around the group and saw her friend standing in the back, frozen in place. "Will!" She called out excitedly and lunged into his arms, knocking him back a step. "Oh my God, I haven't seen you in so long! Over a year! I'm so glad you could make it!"

"Sydney, I couldn't miss your big day." Will hugged her tightly, closing his eyes and relishing the fact that they were together again. They'd been through so much together. Will had talked to her a few times on the phone but mostly watched with the rest the world, the reveal of 'The Romanov' and the insanity surrounding it. "I saw you on Oprah!" He smiled stepping back to cup her face, "You looked beautiful… You're still beautiful." He was swallowing his own nervous butterflies, first about meeting Sydney's mother for the first time and now knowing that she was the Imperial Tsar added to that nervousness, and then there was the fact, that he was going to be seeing 'Sark' again… the man who had his girlfriend murdered. He almost didn't come because he didn't think he could bear to see the man, no matter how much Sydney had said about the guy changing. But in the end, his need to be there for Sydney, as a true friend, came before any lingering hatred he had for her now 'brother,' something else he couldn't quite digest.

"Your Highness, this palace is simply astounding." Ryan looked around with wide-eyed wonder.

"Thank you, but I can't take credit. It was this way when I moved in." Jack smiled everyone laughed. "You'll have to save your compliments for my beautiful wife, she's the one who had it restored and renovated and please, call me Jack."

"Where's Sophia?" Weiss asked hopefully, missing 'his girl' after not seeing her for more then a month.

"She went to town with Sergei, Julian and Viktor to pick up some things for later." Sydney smiled, linking arms with Will and a raging smile at being near her friend again. "Come everyone, let's go to the kitchen, I'm sure you're all starving by now. Just leave your bags, Dmitri and Iliyah will take them to your rooms." She tugged on Will's arm and led the way through the palace to the kitchen.

"Actually, I don't think I've dined at a Five Star restaurant that had as delicious food as was served on the flight here." Ann smiled warmly, still in awe of her surroundings. She spent the majority of the flight that way as well, being on the Imperial Jet.

"That would be my Mom's doing." Sydney smiled and kept walking.

"Where's everyone else?" Weiss asked Vaughn following Sydney.

"My Mom and Dad, Katya and Marcelo were all out riding horses-"

"Damn! They're the riding the horses! I want to ride the horses!" Weiss cut in with a determined look, having thoroughly enjoyed himself with Sophia this past spring when they went riding.

"You can." Sydney laughed, "Your favorite Xanadu just had her foal that's absolutely beautiful! Mom said she's going to let you name it." She waggled her eyebrows at him knowing how excited he was about the horses, something he and her mother shared.

"She is? Really?" His eyebrow shot up as they entered the kitchen, smile lighting his face at the idea. "What should I name the baby? How about Harold? Or Barney?" He smiled and everyone laughed.

"Some how I don't think Mom will go for a Harold or Barney in the bloodline of her horses." Sydney laughed and shook her head at him, knowing he was teasing and her thoughts drifted momentarily to, two _different babies_.

"Where is the beautiful Tsar, anyway?" Weiss immediately stole a celery stick from the relish tray waiting on the enormous island.

Will and Chase both tensed having never met the woman in person before and nervous as hell.

"She's working out." Sydney smiled thinking about the shock all of these people were going to be in. "Can I get you anything to drink, anyone?"

"Well, aren't you the hostess with the most-ess." Weiss laughed and began helping her by lining up the glasses. "Where's Princess Tiger Lily?" He asked noting that Lena was nowhere to be found. "I bought her the cutest, little Dodger's outfit at a game last week." He smiled absolutely smitten with his Goddaughter. "Now we can match when I take her to some games. I think I even managed to buy her the right size this time." He laughed, as did Sydney and Vaughn, remembering when Lena was born and her swimming in the outfit.

"She's sleeping." Jack motioned with a smile towards the security monitors and saw one of the constant monitors was on Lena in her crib.

"Awe," went up around the room.

**_*J.S. Bach: Cello Suite No.1,1*_**

"Hey, whoa!" Weiss stepped forward and hit the button on the bottom of the sixth monitor that had just flashed to the gym. "Holy crap! She's pounded the shit out of those bags… and my god!" He gasped when the bags Irina just flew by tore open and started draining sand. "Are those Sai in her hands?" He squinted trying to see better, everyone else trying to see what he was talking about.

"Here." Sydney hit a code in a numerical keypad and a large flat screen came out of the ceiling above them and the monitor on the gym suddenly was magnified on the flat screen as well as sound. "Yes." She saw what was indeed in her mother's hands and smiled.

"My God, look at that precision. Perfection." Kendall voiced with his hands on hips, still marveled every time he saw Irina in action. She was of a thing of beauty.

Director Chase couldn't believe what she was hearing coming out of Kendall's mouth, still finding it hard to not think of this woman as the enemy. When her eyes turned back to the large screen, she realized why Irina was an unstoppable force in the field.

Irina was wearing a black ballet leotard and yoga pants, barefoot with her hair in a loose bun in the back of her head. She'd been working out with the bags for the last hour and felt her self starting to slow down, the pregnancy taking more out of her everyday.

"If I'd have known she was this lethal, I never would mouthed off or disrupted her class." Ryan smiled in awe at watching his former professor and everyone laughed remembering his interruption of Irina's last class at UCLA from the film. He had never seen her fighting like this while he was monitoring her at the CIA. Then, she looked like a supreme athlete, now she looked… deadly. "Why is it so dark in there?" He asked seeing that the gym was dimly lit with mostly moonlight from outside illuminating the space as Irina weaved in and out of the shadows.

"She likes working out like that, the physical stuff," Sydney answered, motioning to monitor, "To classical music, in the dark. Which I understand, as the lights aren't always on when you have to fight a bad guy." She smiled widely and earned a few laughs from those in the business and another startled look from Ann. "Working out in the dark also forces her to rely on her other senses besides sight… training the senses. Sometimes when she works out she'll use ear plugs so she can't hear, and other times she'll do it blind folded and with ear plugs, forcing her to rely on other instincts." Sydney had been an excellent agent, fighter before knowing her mother. But after living with her, seeing how she trained, she finally understood 'why' her mother was so incredible when it came to fighting and instincts. "And the classical music…well that's just part of Mom's genius, I guess." She smiled and shrugged.

"It's kind of eerie, seeing her movements so deadly yet graceful and fluid… like a dance, with classical music in the background. Like she's 'gracefully' killing those assaulting bags, so calm like." Carrie felt a chill run down the back of her spin and hugged herself while everyone who was on the mission with Irina in Libya, saw her gut Sloane so calmly and gracefully to classical music, shared a knowing look at how accurate that statement was.

"I feel like I'm watching the CIA monitors again." Weiss was always fascinated to watch Irina, everyone was. When she had been in their custody, both times, it was hard to tear agents eyes away from the monitor to her cell. She was so beautiful and fascinating. From push-ups to mediating to catching flies and letting them go…Irina was always interesting, especially so, knowing how deadly she was and the reason behind such strict containment.

"What do you mean?" Ann asked innocently having no real idea of what life was like as a CIA prisoner.

"When Irina was in the custody of the FBI and CIA," Jack began softly looking at the screen of his wife and remembering watching her back then, "She was a High-Security threat, for obvious reasons." He smiled at Ann and nodded in the direction of the monitor where Irina was jumping and spinning, shredding bags that were now flying at her being dropped by her trainers, so she had to fight them coming at her from all sides. "So, she was put into a glass cell that had 24 hour monitoring so that… we," It felt funny to say that now, "Could watch her every move from the Operations Center."

Ann remembered hearing a little about the 'glass cell' on Oprah, and eyebrows knit together in disgust at the thought of her beloved professor being held in a glass cell like an animal in the zoo and under such heavy scrutiny all the time. But then again, looking up at the deadly moves her former English teacher was using, she could see why she might be considered dangerous and high security worthy.

"Like Hannibal Lectur? In _Silence of the Lambs_…" She remembered that he too was put on display 24 hours a day in a glass cell, then a cage because of his deadliness. "Didn't he, have a thing for classical music, too?" She shivered again at the thought of Irina being anywhere near as deadly and disturbing as that man in the movie.

"Yeah," Weiss and everyone else thought about the comparison a moment, all rather disturbed by it, "Except… she didn't eat the people she killed." He gave Ann a soft smile.

"_No more!"_ Irina shouted into the darkness in Russian and the bags ceased to come at her. The lights came on and she walked over to the side of the room to grab her Gatorade, knowing she needed to replace some electrolytes.

"Ah," Dmitri joined them in the kitchen to finish getting dinner ready after taking the bags upstairs. He smiled when he saw the group watching Irina with wide, bright eyes. "Now you're going to get to see her dance, something only the wealthiest of High Ranking Soviets, used to have to pay a great deal of money to see."

Ann inhaled sharply with bright eyes, remembering from the film that Irina was part of the _Moscow Ballet_ as a teenager. "She's going to do ballet." She smiled eagerly anticipating seeing the 'real' woman dancing.

**_*In Trutina*_**

Irina blew a stray piece of hair that was starting to curl from sweat out of her face and took some deep breathes stretching as the music changed and she once again called out in Russian, this time, "Thank you," as the trainers left her to do her cool down.

Jack smiled warmly watching Irina move to the bar and stretch out her long legs, amazed and yet not, that she could even still do this kind of thing while pregnant. Alexei had told them it was ok, and even good for her being Diabetic to control her numbers… at least for the time being, to continue with her workouts but that they had to be toned down and shortened, weaning her body slowly off the exertion it was used to.

"My God, that woman is flexible." Kendall stared at Irina with her leg on the bar, nose to her knee and other leg perfectly straight. Visions of her flexibility demonstration in Vegas raced into his mind and he had to shake his head to clear the images quickly.

"I was just about to say the same thing." Judy looked over at him with a smile, sharing everyone's mutual fascination with the woman. Even laughing softly when she saw him cringe involuntarily watching Irina bend into some position that looked painful.

Irina placed one hand on the bar and took hold of her foot on the beam, raising her leg up to be perfectly straight and parallel with her head while the other leg remained straight to the ground and everyone in the kitchen save Dmitri, Jack and Sydney who'd seen this before, groaned and winced at the impossible position for most.

"Dear Lord… I think she's the Bionic–Woman." Judy had decided that this woman truly was, 'out of this world' and not of the earthly making in anyway.

"Well, she is _'The Chosen One'_ after all." Dixon smiled shaking his head drastically back and forth as they watched Irina do the same thing with the other leg.

The forty-five degree angle the cameras were at didn't allow them to see her face or the front of her body fully with the position she was currently in facing the glass windows and the bar. Only Irina could see her reflection in the glass.

"Which means what exactly?" Ann asked looking around and realizing she was the only one there that didn't work for the CIA at one point and time and know all these things about Irina.

"As insane as this is about to sound, I don't know, maybe you've read part of it in the book already?" Sydney began, reaching up to feather her hair behind her ear, at the same time Irina did on the screen and Dixon smiled.

"No—we've both decided," Ann looked at her husband with a smile, "That we'd wait to read the book until after we've seen the films… though we have about ten copies at home!" She turned her smile to Sydney. "I only know, what I heard from your mother and what I saw on _Oprah_." She smiled. "Please continue…"

Irina was dancing on the screen, pirouetting at an insane speed across the floor holding perfect form, captivating everyone with her grace and fluid movements.

"Like I said, this is going to sound insane but almost everything surrounding what my mother did for the last twenty-years was in an attempt to find out her destiny, her involvement and mine, as _'The Chosen One_." Sydney smiled seeing the wide-eyed woman before her, "Hundreds of years ago, a man, a prophet… wrote a prophecy about a woman who would be born, possessing unseen marks and would basically be super human in a lot of aspects. This woman was supposed to, according to the manuscript the man wrote, '_bring utter desolation to the world_." Ann's eyebrows hit her hairline as Sydney continued, "To make a long story, that will be explained in the movie and the book, short," Sydney smiled looking back at her mother, looking absolutely angelic now when only minutes ago looked positively deadly, "Utter desolation would fall upon the world _unless_ my mom stopped this crazy man; which she did and the world is safe now." Sydney shrugged with a soft smile. "Well, at least from that mad man."

Director Chase listened to Sydney's shortened version of the Rambaldi Prophecy while watching Irina and let go of a little anxiety remembering this woman really wasn't as bad as they had all thought, and she did save the world from the mad man Sloane.

"I kind of feel bad spying on her like this." Carrie voiced though thoroughly enjoying watching the beautiful ballet performance on the screen.

"We're not spying, we're watching." Weiss smiled, his eyes never leaving the screen. "You know, I never really liked ballet but this... _is_ beautiful." Irina was moving as though she were, a piece of silk blowing in the wind her movements were so fluid. "We watched her everyday for ten months. It was like _the Irina Derevko Channel_ twenty-four hours a day." Weiss added still staring at the screen and everyone laughed softly.

"That's kind of my point, Weiss. The woman deserves some privacy as most of her entire life is always on display." Carrie really began feeling badly thinking about it.

"That's sweet of you to think that… looking out for her," Sydney smiled over to Carrie, "But I don't think Mom minds people watching her dance. She used to do it in front of thousands, after all."

"Yeah, I certainly don't think she minds people _watching her dance_ after that show in Vegas!" Weiss smiled and laughed, as did everyone else who was there, including Jack who was continuously amazed at the boy's ability to come up with rapid one-liners that left everyone laughing, even if they were at his expense most of the time. This part of Weiss, reminded him a lot of himself, before his life came crumbling down.

"Hey, where'd she go?" Marshall asked suddenly looking back at the screen that was now void of Irina and then watched as the light in the room went out.

"She must be finished." Jack smiled and hit the code buttons on the security monitors and the flat screen went back into the ceiling.

"That is so cool…" Will smiled watching the flat screen disappear, speaking for the first time since watching Irina on the screen.

"So what are we eating tonight?" Weiss asked plucking another celery from the tray and sliding it through the dip.

"You and your stomach, man." Vaughn laughed at Weiss's constant cravings.

"All sorts of wonderful Russian dishes that will definitely leave you drooling!" Sydney smiled and playfully hit Weiss in the arm, pushing past him as everyone else grabbed a stool or chair now that the 'Irina Show' was over.

Irina's stomach was rumbling, signaling she needed to eat something and made her way towards the kitchen. When she heard the voices as she neared, she realized their guests had arrived; she stepped into the kitchen and smiled seeing everyone's faces again after not seeing them for more then a month.

"Hi Mom," Sydney smiled catching sight of Irina first, she kissed her sweaty cheek and pulled some orange juice out of the refrigerator knowing that was what her mother would be after as well as the mangoes.

"_Oh my God! What the hell happened to your stomach?"_ Weiss almost fell off the stool he was sitting on in shock and surprise when Irina turned sideways and her now very visible baby bump was evident.

Everyone's eyes darted to the normally flat belly, now with definite curvature and their mouths dropped open while Vaughn, Jack, Sydney and Dmitri just smiled.

"_You're pregnant!"_ Weiss practically shouted, smiling seeing the mangoes in Sydney's hand, handing them to her mother, and the baby bump, very visible up close and personal at eye level.

Irina was amused by his reaction, used this to this kind of reception to the news now; she smiled enigmatically and turned her playful gaze to him, loving her teasing relationship with him.

"It would seem so, yes."

"Sweet Jesus…" Kendall's eyes were bugging out of his head staring directly at her belly. "You're pregnant, again."

"And not _just _pregnant." Sydney smiled and wrapped her arms around Irina's now cold, sweaty neck pressing her cheek against her mother's giggling. "She's having _twins_!" Sydney was so excited about the babies, it made Jack and Irina smile, knowing that she would have been the same way at six years old proclaiming to the world she was going to be a 'Big Sister.' She missed out on it then, now was her chance.

"_Twins!_" Weiss whisper shouted and fell off his stool making everyone laugh.

"Don't feel bad, Jack fainted and cut his head open when the doctor told us." Irina smiled at Weiss picking himself up off the ground and laughing softly, teasing her husband by sharing what was now a humorous story.

"Big scary stone-faced Jack Bristow fainted!" Weiss started laughing, and banging his hand on the table finding that image highly amusing.

"_Jesus, Jack!_ Can't you keep your hands to yourself?" Kendall boomed, teasing him and laughing with a smile looking between the two.

"I don't think it had anything… to do with his, _hands_, Kendall." Irina flashed her mega-watt smile and waggled her eyebrows at Jack as everyone burst into laughter.

"Oh brother…" Sydney shook her head laughing at the sexual innuendo.

"We just saw you like… what? Five weeks ago and you didn't have a baby belly." Weiss looked back at Irina in amazement. "Where were you hiding that under that Fem-bot costume?" He asked and everyone who was in Vegas died laughing again.

Will was standing in the corner of the kitchen taking this all in. First, seeing Sydney's mother for the first time in real life he realized she was even more beautiful and breathtaking in person. Second, his fascination at seeing Sydney's interaction with her, remembering the moment on the plane when Sydney had told them it was her mother that shot her. Watching Sydney's interactions with both her parents and her parents with each other now, completely mind boggling, remembering vividly the family dynamic before. His first thought in observing them… was how insanely happy Sydney was.

"I was still in my first trimester in Las Vegas," Irina smiled softly at Dmitri who handed her a glass for her orange juice. "And didn't realize I was pregnant until after doing battle with _Jose Cuervo_ all morning."

"That was my birthday present." Jack added softly, looking lovingly at his wife with a smile meant only for her and everyone went 'awe' again.

"_Damn Jack!_ You had one hell-of-a birthday!" Weiss laughed, turning red, knowing what he was about to say would no doubt get him drowned but didn't care, "With strippers and Battleship, lap dances and _Legs_, Fem-bots and babies!"

Everyone died in laughter, including Irina, holding their sides and Jack pushed Weiss off his stool again with a smile, sending up another round of hysteria.

"When are you due, Irina?" Judy asked sweetly, enjoying the pure joy and love she saw radiating through the entire Bristow family.

"February 18th." Irina smiled and ran her hand over her belly.

"Do you know the sex, or are you going to keep it a mystery or secret?" Ann smiled happily for her friend.

"Well, we are trying to keep the pregnancy a secret from the outside world until after the wedding." She smiled over at Sydney; it was her daughter's day and she didn't need a thousand people coming up to her congratulating her on her pregnancy and stressing her out more. Her gown had been altered to 'hide' any evidence of a baby belly.

"We understand. We won't say a thing." Judy smiled and everyone nodded their' agreement with smiles.

"And we're having one of each." Irina smiled, running her hand over the belly.

"What a Russian and an American?" Weiss snickered and everyone laughed again including Irina who shot him her playful eyes, which was reward enough and worth any punishment he may get from Jack. He loved the playful teasing and banter he had with the woman whose screwdriver had shot him.

"Oh, how sweet." Carrie cooed already thinking about how damn cute these kids would be, seeing Lena now, her gorgeous sister, mother and father.

"Wait a minute," Weiss did the mental calculations in his head and started laughing hysterically at his conclusion. "Whip-cream and cheesecake!" He shouted and Jack pushed him off the stool again, trying not to laugh, though Weiss kept laughing on the floor.

Kendall, Vaughn, Marshall and Dixon tried to stifle their laughter remembering Weiss ratting out Jack in the limo by sharing that story.

"What?" Sydney asked with a smile and knit eyebrows, realizing she was missing something obviously.

"You got pregnant the night of the Coronation!" Weiss howled from the floor looking at Irina as he tried to stand, enlightening Sydney who was still confused. "_Whip-cream and cheesecake!_" He kept laughing.

Irina looked at Jack with the hint of a dangerous smile after seeing all the guys in the room present at the Bachelor Party laughing in understanding.

"_No!_" Jack jumped to his own defense seeing her cheeks flush. "I didn't tell them a thing! I passed this jackass," He hit Weiss on the back of his head with his hand, making them laugh, "In the kitchen that night! He's the one who told them," He looked pointedly at Kendall, Dixon, Marshall, and Vaughn, "In the limo! I didn't tell them anything, Irina, I swear. I'm sorry."

Weiss kept laughing, trying to stop, "Honestly, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing because it's so damn funny! I feel like I'm part of history now, running into Jack with his whip-cream and cheesecake in the kitchen that night… the 'infamous twins' were conceived!" He howled with laughter and everyone else tried to smother theirs, failing miserably, even Sydney.

"The babies weren't conceived with the whip-cream and cheesecake, Mr. Weiss," Jack held a straight face with loving eyes while he looked at Irina who smiled, remembering exactly the moment the babies were made and laughed; seeing where he was going with this and teasing her, while getting back at Weiss.

The old Jack was slowly coming back, the one who could tease and joke with the best of them; the young man who had run into her that day on campus and stalked her until she went out with him.

"Those were merely refreshers…_after_." Jack smiled brilliantly at Weiss who died laughing with everyone else.

Sydney covered her eyes and smiled, shaking her head and Irina curled her daughter into her arms, letting her bury her head in her shoulder laughing softly at her poor squicked out child.

"I'm so happy that I was conceived by _Immaculate Conception!_" Sydney mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear and they burst out laughing again.

"Congratulations." Weiss sobered with a wide smile to Irina, then Jack and everyone else followed suit.

"Congratulations." Director Chase gave Irina a small smile. "It's nice to finally meet you in person, Your… Majesty." She almost choked on the words, still in shock over the fact that Irina was the Tsar of Russia. "Thank you for allowing me to stay in your home."

Remembering her encounters with Director Chase at Langley, "Well its only polite after you, let me stay," Irina's eyebrow quirked with a sly smile, "In your…'_home_' for almost a year." Her smile widened, seeing Chase caught on with a smile; teasing about being in the CIA's prison cell. When Irina laughed softly and held out her hand, everyone else laughed softly with her. "Welcome Director Chase. I'm pleased that you could join us." She held her hand out to shake the woman's hand and gave her a slight nod.

Sydney caught sight of Will standing shyly in the back of the kitchen.

"Mom!" She reached for her arm and pulled Irina quickly through the people, almost spilling her orange juice, to stand in front of Will nervously, and excitedly. "Mom, I would like to officially introduce you to Will Tippin," Sydney's smile widened staring at the man in front of her with wide-eyes looking at Irina mere inches from him. "One of my best friends in the world."

Irina stared at Will with a smile during the entire introduction, taking him in, looking into his eyes and almost laughed when she saw him swallow hard under the scrutiny. She was pretty nervous herself about meeting him, finally.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tippin. I've heard a lot about you. Sydney loves you very much… you've been a great… amazing friend to her." She smiled softly and looked back at her daughter, swallowing her nervousness before turning back to Will and taking his hand in hers; stunning him. "I want to apologize to you, for my part in the pain you've been through." She looked at him with her big sorrowful doe eyes, running her thumb over the back of his hand and Will swallowed hard again, unblinking before her. "I'm sorry." She added softly. "So very sorry." He had lost so much, for simply being Sydney's friend.

Sydney's eyes held unshed tears watching her mother's apology and one finally slipped down her cheek when she saw Will's slight nod of acceptance to her mother.

Everyone else was watching the encounter with trepid fascination knowing the man was tortured, lost his career and his girlfriend, sentenced as a drug felon, tricked, lied to, imprisoned and stabbed… and all of that, was connected to Irina whether she was a knowing participant or not.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Your Majesty." Will gave her a small smile. Sydney had told him on the phone about what her mother's role was, and wasn't in everything that had happened. And looking at her now, he could see the same loving eyes he saw in Sydney, remembered that she was, after all, the one who saved his life by clearing his name… sending the CIA the information on the second double. "Your daughter is an amazing person. I'm fortunate," He looked over at Sydney, remembering when he told her on the phone that day, he wished he'd never met her. His own eyes saddened at the thought and realized how much he missed her now, "To be her friend."

Irina leaned and quickly kissed his cheek softly, loving this man all ready for loving her daughter in the way real friends do. "Thank you."

"_Hello!_" Sophia greeted them all enthusiastically when she came bounding into the kitchen with the guys behind her carrying bags and her parents and Vaughn's just behind them. The kitchen erupted in laughing smiling chaos for a few moments as everyone said their' 'hellos.' They talked excitedly about dinner and plans for the night before Lena's cries through the monitors broke through their chatter.

"If you'll excuse me, my baby calls." Irina smiled and left the kitchen and when she moved, Julian caught full sight of Will. The two's eyes were locked on each other and both swallowed hard in each other's presence.

Jack saw the exchange and knew the two needed a moment, "Come on everyone, I'll show you to your rooms so you can freshen up if you'd like before dinner." He smiled widely and paused briefly to squeeze Julian's arm, looking him in the eyes with an encouraging nod, before showing everyone out of the kitchen. He knew that this apology was going to be very hard on Julian, as it should be, but he also wanted to reassure him he was doing the right thing.

Sydney gave Will the same reassuring arm squeeze, looking him into the eyes with a soft smile.

"Mr. Tippin, I believe I owe you a rather large apology." Julian stared at the man standing on the other side of the kitchen.

"What makes you think I want… or care for your apology?" Will asked feeling the hurt and anger rising knowing he was responsible for Francie's death and his torture. "You killed my girlfriend and replaced her with a monster who tried to kill me!"

Julian's heart beat faster listening quietly to Will's tirade, knowing the man deserved at least that, he would listen.

"Sydney told me why you picked Francie, because she was Sydney's best friend, you knew she was dating me, who worked at the CIA and could get you what you wanted! You chose us, to hurt her because you were jealous of her mother's love for her!" Will yelled across the island, "And you couldn't physically hurt Sydney directly so you hurt us instead, destroyed our lives!" His chest heaved and he paused trying to slow his anger. "Sydney has some how found a way to forgive you, for your mother's sake… but I won't… I can't." He looked Julian in the eye, still feeling the sting of Francie's death, "I'm here for Sydney… because I love her and she's my friend and I'll do anything for her… except forgive you, just because you're her brother now…You killed my girlfriend!" He added in a low voice with tears pricking his eyes in anger and sadness.

A moment of silence passed between them before Julian spoke. "Whether you accept it or not, I am still offering you my apology for my past actions. I am sorry for the pain and for your loss." He paused a moment looking sadly at Will, "I did chose to take Francie's life in order to get information out of you… and to hurt Sydney. I cannot take that back no matter how much I wish that I could. You were a pawn in a unknowing chess game, that is all you were to me… as was Francie." He admitted honestly, even though he was seeing the fire flash in Will's eyes, "My entire life was built around lies, mistrust, murder and manipulating people, it was all I knew… It was not until I thought my mother had been executed, had Sydney confront me," He remembered the day she beat the shit out of him well… and then told him Irina was alive. "And saw what life was like outside our world of espionage and murder living with my mother and Jack, spending time with them and Sydney and Lena, observing them interact… I saw a different side of life, a loving side I had never seen previously… That people weren't pawns. It was then that I realized the severity of my actions," He swallowed hard seeing Tippin listening intently, "You were a person and I used you… I took someone away, that I can never give back… I am sorry." He finished softly, keeping his eyes on Will, watching him. "I do not expect you to forgive me, nor do I deserve your forgiveness. I just want you to know, that I am sorry… and if I could, I would gladly give my life to bring Francie back to you and Sydney."

"But you can't." Will added in a softer tone, deflated knowing there was nothing they could do to change the past no matter how sorry any of them were. He was shocked by how honest Sark was with him, and saw maybe a little of what Sydney was saying about how 'he had changed.' But for now, it still wasn't enough. "I'm here for Sydney, and I'll be cordial to you for her sake."

Julian nodded in acceptance. "Understood." He waited for a moment longer, "Would you like me to show you to your room?" Realizing that everyone else had already gone up to their rooms and with over a thousand in the palace, the man was sure to get lost.

"Yes, only because I think I would get lost trying to find it otherwise." Will accepted and waited for Sark to lead the way in silence.

* * *

**_*Ring of Fire*_**

"You sure you don't want a shot of tequila, Irina?" Weiss asked laughing and teasing her about Vegas, picking up his shot from the green felt surface. They were all in the game room, sitting around the massive card table playing Poker and drinking the night away after dinner.

Those who'd lost the last round had to take a shot of tequila this round, except Irina who was given a reprieve on the grounds she was pregnant. Though she was the one to create the rule this time, after winning the last round and smiled knowing that whether she won or lost again, she wouldn't have to drink the '_punishment_.' They slammed the shots and everyone's face scrunched up as it burned on its way down.

"_Jose Cuervo_ and I have parted ways for good." She smiled as they laughed.

"Ah that's too bad." Weiss smiled, winking at her, teasing her again, "You were pretty entertaining, _Legs_…I mean, Your Majesty." He added quickly and everyone laughed again.

Irina just shook her head, thinking of her own way to get Weiss back…later when he least expected it.

"I thought Kendall, who was at first, scared to death to get into bed with Irina and then trapped by her was also pretty entertaining." Jack looked up slowly across the table at Kendall with a sly smile.

"_What?_" Sydney almost choked on her drink laughing, eyes wide. "What are you talking about?

Kendall's face burned bright red and he smiled, unable to look at Irina and kept his eyes on the green felt surface.

"Jack, what are you talking about?" Irina looked at him with narrowed eyebrows and a curious smile having no idea what he was referring to, but seeing him smile let her know it was obviously entertaining.

"Oh, this story is going to be good I can just tell!" Carrie grinned evil like and leaned forward eagerly, her eyes flickering between Irina, Kendall and Jack.

"When we got home from the bar, Sydney was sleeping with Irina in our bed." Jack smiled looking from his wife to his daughter, "I needed help removing her from Irina's arms, then moving her to her own bed." His eyes went to Kendall with a smile, watching him get even redder with embarrassment. "Of course, they had to be in the middle of the bed and we didn't want to wake either of them. So, we first pulled the sheet and them to the side of the bed."

Irina's eyebrows, as well as Sydney's, shot up with smiles at their cleverness while they were blissfully unaware, sleeping.

"But Irina had her arms around Sydney, and Sydney's arms were locked over Irina's, holding her there." Kendall added, realizing he might as well join in and everyone 'awed' at how cute they must have looked and Sydney blushed with a smile and giggle, looking at her mother. "Since Jack was going to pick up Sydney, he tells me I have to crawl across the bed behind them and help him unlock their arms," Kendall continued and everyone was already laughing at the image their minds were conjuring up.

"He was absolutely _terrified_ to get into bed with Irina. Thought she'd wake up and kill him." Jack added smiling widely and the laughter rose, Irina smiling and shaking her head listening to this tale.

"She sleeps with knives under her pillow, for God-sake!" Kendall tried to defend his anxiety about crawling into bed with Irina Derevko and everyone died laughing again even as their' eyebrows rose in surprise at his claim.

"Years old habit…" Irina smiled and shrugged at the end of the table when all eyes fell on her.

"So we stood there arguing a minute, with me trying to convince him to get in bed with my wife." Everyone was laughing with the way Jack was humorously telling this story. "Finally, I knelt down and slid my hand under Irina's pillow and removed the Stiletto."

Jack smiled at Irina knowing that he had missed the other she later held to his throat.

"Oh my God this is so funny! Where were the cameras when we need them?" Vaughn was laughing hard, as was everyone else.

"So he crawls across the bed, gets right behind Irina and I cautiously begin to remove Sydney's arms from around Irina's." Jack continued, smiling madly. "He unfolds Irina's from around Sydney's body…and holds her arm in the air while I slide Sydney away from her."

The sight in their minds of this image had everyone in hysterics, even Irina and Sydney.

"Kendall in bed with Irina Derevko!" Weiss lost it laughing hysterically.

"I no sooner scooped Sydney into my arms, then Irina pulls her arm down and Kendall's with it, trapping him against her body." They were laughing so hard they had tears. "I almost lost it with the position they were in. The panicked look on his face!" Jack shook his head laughing, wiping at the tears coming out of his eyes. "I told him to wait a minute…she'd relax and let go. Then suddenly Sydney says in her sleep-" He looked over at Kendall both them laughing.

"_There is no snow in the desert_.'" Kendall added and another roar of laughter went around the table looking at Sydney. "_In Chinese!"_

"Oh God…" Sydney covered her eyes looking down embarrassed and laughing.

"Irina relaxed and Kendall was free. He pulled her back to the middle of the bed and we put Sydney in bed with Vaughn." Jack laughed trying to calm down.

"Which, I, in turn thought was damn funny as most fathers want to kill a guy for sneaking out of their daughter's bed…and here Jack was putting his into bed with one!" Kendall smiled and they laughed again at the irony.

"I can't believe we didn't wake up through all this." Sydney shook her head laughing, looking at her mother across the table.

"You were both too drunk to do much." Jack looked at Sydney smiling and then shot a glance at Irina sharing a knowing smile that she at least was indeed capable of doing 'a lot' after that. Images of them rolling roughly over and over in a power struggle in raw passion floated through his mind.

"Syd, what the hell were you dreaming to say, '_there is no snow in the desert'_ in Chinese?" Weiss asked laughing.

"I don't know." She shook her head laughing. "But that was a code phrase I once used on a contact of mine in Beijing…in my early days at SD-6." Back when she was a terrorist and had no idea she was actually a bad guy instead of the CIA.

"I remember that." Dixon's eyes lit up with laughter. "In a strip club." He laughed harder realizing what must have been the spark for such a memory and everyone else laughed with him.

"I guess your night of debauchery resurrected that memory." Weiss laughed thinking about the women at the strip club and then dancing themselves, on the bar at _Coyote Ugly_ as he began to collect the card piles form everyone, his turn to deal.

"You're one to talk about debauchery, Eric!" Vaughn goaded him with slanted eyebrows and the others laughed.

Weiss blushed and shook his head laughing, continuing with his card collecting.

"Well, look at this," He smirked at Irina softly, taking her cards and reaching behind her ear, pulling out a card, "The _Queen of Hearts_, how appropriate." He smiled and they laughed at his magic tricks, "Conquering…" He reached behind Jack's ear, exposing another card, "The _Jack-of-all-Trades_, I mean Spades." He showed the card to them and they all laughed at the symbolism with Irina being the 'Queen' and Jack, as the Jack-of-all-Trades the notorious American Spy during Napoleon's attempt to conquer the world.

"And what else do you have up your sleeve, Houdini?" Jack laughed at Weiss.

Weiss smiled widely and waved his hand, exposing the card, _The Joker_, and everyone died laughing again.

"What has you in such a smiley mood?" Jack came up behind Irina in the bathroom, kissing the base of her neck and meeting her eyes in the mirror's reflection. She'd been smiling non-stop since they came upstairs without saying anything.

"Sydney's face." Irina smiled in thought, holding out the toothpaste for Jack. "Her smile and how happy she was when she and Michael went to bed tonight. This being the last night they are together before they are married."

"_Stop!_ I don't want to know what they're doing." He held his toothbrush out for Irina to put paste on.

"Well, what do you think they're doing in there?" She laughed softly, looking back at his eyes in the reflection, teasing him.

"Playing _Scrabble_." He answered with a straight face of determination and promptly put his toothbrush in his mouth.

"Jack…" Irina laughed hard. "Do I have to keep reminding you that she will have to have sex at some point if we are ever going to have grandchildren?"

"No." He stopped brushing and put the brush in the side of his cheek to talk, "If Sydney wants to hold onto the belief that she was created by _Immaculate Conception_; then I am going to believe that our grandchildren will be, too!"

He resumed his brushing while Irina laughed deeply, smiling at him as she began brushing, still laughing looking at him and finally he laughed, too.

They finished, climbed into bed and Irina snuggled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder with arm draped over his body.

"We need to find something to talk about because now. I can't keep my mind off what's going on a few doors down." Jack suddenly broke through the darkness with his thoughts and Irina laughed again, tracing his areola with her fingertip lightly.

"Ok… how about we talk about the babies." Irina smiled, snuggling her face into his skin, "I don't want to just keep calling them '_the twins_.' I want them to have names, their own identities."

"Alright." Jack smiled at her protective mothering of them before they were even born. He turned his face into her hair as his hand slid up the arm across his body.

"What were you thinking?" Giving them names brought home the reality once more that they were real.

**_*The Beach Song*_**

"I don't know." Irina chewed on her bottom lip in thought, shrugging beneath the weight of his arm. "How do you like Nadia? It means '_hope_."

Jack's eyebrows quirked in thought, "Like hope for the future."

"Our hope." Irina added softly.

Jack smiled, "I like it and it goes with the rest of _My Girls_ names." He laughed softly, now I have the Peace of Irina, the Grace of Sydney Anne, the Light of Lena and the Hope of Nadia…what else does a guy need?" He kissed the top of her head while his fingers played in her hair.

Irina smiled against his chest, always loving it when he called them, _'My Girls.' _

"Grace, light and hope." She repeated softly, liking it more and more with the meanings.

"You're forgetting mother Peace." Jack smiled and laughed softly when she did. "I like Nadia."

"Ok. I do, too." Irina smiled happily; feeling more and more like this was her unborn daughter's name. "Nadia." She whispered.

"Alright, now what about her middle names?" His fingers danced lightly up her arm. "I know it's a family tradition to choose them from other family members names. There are just so many strong powerful intelligent women in your family, how do we choose?" He smiled.

Irina couldn't stop the smile of happiness on her face listening to him.

"My sister honored me, by giving my name to Sophia. If it's ok with you, I'd like to do the same with my daughter…and honor Katya for everything she's done for me, for us…by giving her name to our child?" She smiled at the thought of them both naming their daughters of a set of twins after each other.

"Yeah, of course it's ok with me." Jack agreed smiling, "Katya has done a great deal for our family." He paused with the thought with everything Katya had done and given to his family. "I think it's a great idea." He dropped another kiss to her head. "What does Ekaterina mean anyway?"

"Pure." Irina answered smiling knowing the answer would make Jack laugh.

"Katya and pure…that's funny." He laughed as she expected. "Alright…and for the second?" He played with her fingertips, running his thumb over each. "I would like her to have part of your name…her mother's name." He smiled. "I want both of them to."

Irina lifted her head with a hint of surprise in her eyes when she looked at him.

"Really?" She asked softly.

"Of course, 'really!" Jack laughed and brought his face to her hand with a smile. "You're their mother. They are part of you." He looked deeply into her big chocolate eyes glinting with moonlight, his thumb caressing her cheek. "They should have part of your name." He paused with a smile seeing the unshed tears building in her eyes, something that was happening even more frequently now that she was pregnant and her emotions were on overload. "Lena already has Irina, so either Nicholaevna or Alexandra. I know that Nicholaevna comes from Nicholas which means '_Victorious People'_ but what does Alexandra mean?" His smiling eyes searching hers and finding her smile in them.

"Protector of Mankind." She smiled, and wiped the single tear that fell off her cheek.

"Really?" Jack asked surprised then laughed, "Your name means '_Peace, Victorious People, and Protector of Mankind_?" He stated in awe shaking his head, "Irina, I'd say you were definitely born to be the Tsar of Russia with a name with meanings like that." He smiled brightly and kissed her lips lightly, still laughing at incredible irony of her name. "I guess that just goes to show you the power of the meaning of a name. Well, except for Katya and _Pure_." He laughed again.

Irina laughed softly, shaking her head at him.

"She's pure of heart, Jack. Get your mind out of the gutter." She pinched his nipple and made him laugh and jump.

"That she is." He smiled with a serious nod and looked at her in thought. His heart strings already pulling with the thought of another. "What do you think about naming our son Nicholas?" He asked softly, knowing before the words left his mouth he'd see new tears in her eyes. "And add Alexandra as the second middle name to Nadia."

"Nicholas…" Irina repeated in a whisper, blinking back tears thinking about their lost baby boy, their first son. "Nicholas and Nadia…Nadia and Nicholas." She tested out the names together. "I like it." She smiled, sniffing and wiping her tears that were falling on Jack's bare chest.

"I love it…as I love you." He brought her head forward to kiss her lips softly again, using his thumb to wipe the remaining tear tracks.

"Jack, Irina, Sydney, Julian, Lena, Nicholas and Nadia." Irina said their names and laughed softly, "Wow, that's a mouthful! Try saying that ten times fast."

"That's because we went from four to seven, _like that!"_ Jack snapped his fingers laughing at the growth of their family. "We're going to run out of space to sign on our Christmas cards!"

Irina laughed, shaking her head. "You're so funny." She giggled silently beside him, only her body shaking against him. "So we have a Nadia Ekaterina Alexandra and a Nicholas…" She cocked her head to the side with her beautiful smile, looking into his eyes and melting his heart with just one look. "I want him to have a part of your name." She added softly. "Jonathan. His daddy's name." Her smile grew and her fingers traced his jaw and chin. "Means, '_Given from God_." She swallowed hard; they both did thinking about this true gift from God, another daughter and another son. "Nicholas Jonathan-"

"Dmitri." Jack added spontaneously with a smile and her eyes widened. "Nicholas Jonathan Dmitri." His hand cupped her chin, his thumb tracing her bottom lip. "For your father. A great man I never had the pleasure of knowing." He watched yet again as Irina's eyes filled with tears. "And for your second father." He smiled thinking of the man who so fiercely protected Irina, physically and emotionally. "A great man who has my greatest respect." The name just made sense to him.

Irina's tears fell once again, staring into his eyes and feeling her heart pound in his chest. She couldn't believe how much she loved him.

"Thank you." She whispered so softly he almost didn't hear it and she leaned forward and kissed him, letting her lips linger on his for a moment.

"What does Dmitri mean?" He asked with a smile, fascinated that her beautiful brain knew all these meanings. She was always good with the details, better then he was if he admitted it. His smiled deepened thinking about the way she had picked up on the contact's accent indifference to his name while they were in India right away. His mind was boggled then and was again now.

"Lover of the Earth." Irina smiled, answering softly still looking into his eyes.

"It's amazing you know all of this." He shook his head in wonder, "How do you know all this anyway?" He asked laughing.

"The meaning behind a person's name says a lot about them, their character. I found it insightful," She shrugged with her enigmatic smile. "When I learned languages, I also learned names, their origins and meanings."

"Fascinating the way your mind works." Jack smiled smoothing his hand down her head of thick tresses. "You really are _Through the Looking Glass._" He smiled and kissed her lips with a soft laugh thinking about her mystical side. "What does Donahue mean? I know my mother told me when I was little but I forgot."

Irina paused for a moment, her heart skipping a beat momentarily at the mention of Jack's mother. He rarely ever spoke of his parents.

"Dark Fighter." She smiled widely, "Highly appropriate for you, I think." She laughed with him for a moment before sighing with a contented smile. "So our babies have names now. Nicholas and Nadia." She looked into his eyes with a smile for the final confirmation.

"Nicholas and Nadia." Jack smiled with a nod and sealed the agreement with a kiss.

Irina turned and snuggled back onto his chest with a smile, her hand going to cover her belly.

"So if you can tell a lot about a person from their name, what does Michael mean?" Jack asked in the darkness after a moment of thinking and Irina laughed.

"Guardian and Protector." She smiled happily, trying to stop her giggles at how cute Jack was. "Very appropriate for him too, I'd say."

"Hmm." Jack thought for a moment longer, "Well, I suppose that's good enough for my daughter." He said seriously then smiled feeling Irina laughing against his chest.

Vaughn had proven himself to be a very good guardian and protector of Sydney for years as her handler. Jack had no doubt, the man would continue to do so when they were married.

* * *

"How are you feeling this morning, Mom?" Sydney asked when they were all at breakfast, seeing her mother was perkier then usual.

"Great actually." Irina returned the smile at her beautiful daughter. "I think I'm over the morning sickness. Thankfully." She laughed softly, taking a sip of her orange juice.

"Oh, you had morning sickness?" Ann cringed sympathetically, "I had that with all three of our kids. It was terrible! You poor thing!"

"It was rather terrible. I never had it before but for the last month or so, I've practically lived in the bathroom." Irina smiled softly, thanking God it was over with and everyone laughed softly. She turned to Lena and gave her another bite of cereal mixed with fruit, smiling when her baby smiled at her.

"The entire flight over, she was laying on the bathroom floor." Jack looked over at her with nothing but sympathetic loving eyes. "I felt so terrible. There was nothing I could do."

"Except hold her hair and hand her a washcloth." Marcelo added smiling, knowing exactly how Jack felt about feeling helpless and his eyes flashed to his wife.

"And how are the twins today?" Judy asked with a smile watching Irina feeding the baby and herself so effortlessly in a perfect rhythm.

"Great as far as I know." Irina gave her a genuine smile, running her hand over her belly.

"You haven't felt any kicks yet?"

"Not yet." Irina shook her head with a sad smile, waiting anxiously for that moment. She'd felt the fluttering and now a lot of movement but not the sharp kick. "I can feel them moving all the time, mostly at night but no kicking."

"That is such a weird concept." Weiss looked at her marveling with narrowed eyebrows. "I can't imagine what it feels like to 'feel' a person, or in your case, 'people…_little people'_ moving around inside your body. That would creep me out." He shivered and all the men agreed with him, though no one voiced it.

Irina laughed; he was too cute.

"Well, I wouldn't say it 'creeps' me out, but it does feel strange and yet so natural all at the same time. Once you get used to it," She looked at Lena with longing eyes as she fed her another spoonful, remembering, "You miss it when it's gone." She paused a moment and everyone watched her, clearly lost in thought. "Both Sydney and Lena were tremendously active and with extremely powerful kicks, I thought for sure my uterus must have been black and blue inside. I can't imagine what these two are going to be like." She smiled and everyone laughed.

"I remember being very surprised…at just how powerful Lena's kicks were." Vaughn smiled softly looking from the baby to Irina. "I didn't think a baby could kick that hard in the womb."

"_Hey!_ When did you get to feel Lena kicking in-utero?" Weiss asked with clear jealously in his voice at never getting to.

"When we first came to Russia…to find Irina." Vaughn smiled sheepishly down the table at her remembering that first night and just how far they'd come. "We were all sitting upstairs talking about what to name the baby when Lena started kicking. Jack, Katya and Sydney were all feeling her kick and Irina…kind a... just sort a-" He stumbled over what to say exactly.

"Grabbed his hand and put it on my belly with us." Irina finished for him smiling, bailing him out of his nervousness and Vaughn flashed her a smile.

"It was amazing." Vaughn smiled softly, looking back to Lena and thinking, 'that was the baby inside Irina he felt kicking,' with awe.

"Well that's not fair! I never got to feel Lena kicking." Weiss pouted and everyone laughed at the look on his face and Sophia couldn't stop the smile on her face thinking about how adorable he was with the baby.

"Well, she was put back in her cell as a prisoner after we rescued her and then had the baby days later. There wasn't exactly time for you to get a chance to." Vaughn laughed at him, envisioning Weiss walking into Irina's glass cell asking to touch her stomach.

"I promise you, Eric," Irina stifled her laughter but smiled widely at him, "You can feel the babies kicking all you want to, this time." She looked down the table at him and he lit up with an enormous smile of his own.

"Really?" He was completely excited at the prospect and it melted Irina's heart. He looked like a little boy at Christmas.

"Really." Irina nodded with her beautiful smile. "I promise to tell you as soon as they start kicking." Everyone else was laughing.

"As soon as they start?" He looked at her to make sure she wasn't teasing him, one eyebrow cocked skeptically and everyone laughed harder.

"As soon as they start." Irina laughed and confirmed for him.

"Ok." Weiss smiled excitedly, "So what are we calling them until they're born? Girl twin and boy twin? Twin A and Twin B? American and Russian? Yank and the Russkie? Cowboy and Cossack?" He asked and everyone died in another fit of laughter.

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" Mikhail laughed, finding Weiss hilarious and understanding why the man was his son's best friend.

"I don't know… there's just so much to work with, with these two." Weiss smiled and nodded at Jack and Irina causing everyone to laugh again.

"Actually, by their names." Irina said softly pushing her hair behind her ear when the laughter died down.

"You named them?" Sydney's face lit up with a smile excited, as did Julian.

"Yes." Irina smiled at them and then to Jack, "We named them last night." Her smile lazily turned from him back to her captive audience. "Nadia Ekaterina Alexandra," Irina smiled brightly at Katya who instantly had tears in her eyes, "And Nicholas Jonathan Dmitri." Her eyes landed on Dmitri who was suddenly frozen, starring at her in surprise. When she smiled brightly and gave him a slight nod, he knew that she had included him as well as her father in choosing that name.

"Nadia and Nicholas." Sydney repeated with excitement, the babies really becoming a reality for her with names. "I love them!" She stood rapidly and came around the table to hug her mother, then dropped her head to give her little belly a light kiss. "Hello in there! Nicholas and Nadia this is your big sister Sydney speaking. Just wanted to say congratulations on the names!" She giggled and everyone laughed. She dropped her head to kiss the belly once more and Irina took the opportunity to kiss the top of Sydney's head and another 'awe' went around the room.

"Jack, Irina, Sydney, Julian, Lena, Nicholas and Nadia." Katya repeated walking slowly towards Irina with a great tearful smile, then bent to hug her tightly.

"Yes, we've already decided it's a mouthful and will probably have to be squeezed into our Christmas cards." Jack added and everyone laughed.

Julian's heart was thudding rapidly in his chest with a smile he couldn't tear off his face at hearing his name in the mix. He really was part of the family.

"Yes, but after tomorrow, it will be Jack, Irina, Sydney, Michael, Julian, Lena, Nicholas and Nadia on those Christmas cards, Dad." Sydney laughed coming to hug him and so did everyone else.

"My God…" Jack gasped kidding her and then hugged her again with a smile.

* * *

When evening rolled around Sydney knocked softly on her mother's bedroom door, blinking back tears.

"Come in." Irina called, rubbing the lotion into her hands getting ready for bed. She smiled widely when she saw it was Sydney but grew concerned the moment she saw her daughter's tears as Sydney crossed the room towards her. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I was just wondering… if I could sleep with you tonight?" She asked timidly, smiling and feeling like a big baby. Irina smiled amused and tilted her head looking at Sydney. "I've just missed so much time with you…and now…now I'm getting married tomorrow and …and I…I wanted to sleep with my Mommy one last time."

"Of course you can, Sweetheart." Irina crossed over to her in two strides, engulfing her in a hug with tears in her own eyes, smiling. Her heart swelling with love hearing Sydney's why. "Come on." She pulled back enough to kiss her head, taking her hand and led her to the bed. Sydney crawled into the massive Imperial size bed first and Irina followed. She snuggled down against her pillows, semi-propped up and pulled Sydney into her arms.

Sydney's head was lying on her chest, one arm bent so her hand was snuggled up by her face and Irina pulled her closer with an arm around her shoulders, bushing Sydney's lovely waves of hair out of the way and then kissing her head with a smile.

"I love you, Sydney Anne… forever and always."

"And I love you, too, Mom." Sydney snuggled her face against the smooth skin of her mother's chest that was exposed through the V in her nightgown with a smile.

"I still can't believe my baby girl is getting married tomorrow." Irina smiled looking down at Sydney while brushing the hair softly off her daughter's forehead.

"Neither can I!" Sydney added and they both laughed.

"Are you nervous?" Irina asked knowing her own nerves the night before both weddings.

"Yes." Sydney nodded with knit eyebrows against her chest, moving her hand down to run over her mother's baby belly, her worry turned to a smile. "I can't believe I was ever that small, that I was once inside there." The thought suddenly coming to her in realization looking at her mother's stomach and Irina burst out laughing. "By _Immaculate Conception,_ of course." Sydney added smiling and then giggling deeply in the laugh that Irina loved.

"Of course." Irina continued to laugh and pulled Sydney closer. "You know your father has decided to let you believe you were created in _Immaculate Conception_ because he's going to believe that's how his grandchildren will be made."

Sydney burst into giggles and so did Irina, "When in the world did he say that?" Sydney asked through her laughter.

"Last night… when we were brushing our teeth he said he didn't want to know what you and Vaughn were doing in your room on the last night of being together before your wedding."

Sydney burned bright red and giggled deeply again, "Exactly."

Irina laughed with her, knowing her daughter so well. "I reminded him that in order to have grandchildren…at some point you were going to have to sleep with Michael."

"Oh God…" Sydney groaned at the thought of this conversation, taking place between her parents with a smile and laugh.

"He said so determinedly, '_If Sydney wants to hold onto the belief that she was created by Immaculate Conception; then I am going to believe that our grandchildren will be too!_" She laughed thinking about his face and so did Sydney.

"Well, he obviously knows and can't still believe I'm a virgin…he's seen the tape, and hell, I told him so at Thanksgiving!" Sydney laughed giggling thinking about her father's denial of her sex life, though as absurd as it was, she didn't want him thinking about it anyway.

Irina laughed, stroking Sydney's hair, remembering the tape and the conversation she'd had with Julian about it. Thankfully, he had never watched it, only Allison.

"You two are both alike. You, obviously know we have a sex life as he knows you do…but neither of you wants to acknowledge that to each other!" Irina laughed deeply, when she heard Sydney's groan at the mention of her sex life with Jack again. "Though, I understand both your views. I would never want to talk about my sex life with my father either and I'm sure my father didn't want to think about it as well!"

"Ex-actly." Sydney sighed dramatically through her giggle. They lay there quiet for a moment, enjoying each other's presence and holding onto each other. Sydney listening to Irina's heart and Irina continuously brushing her fingers back over Sydney's forehead and hair lightly.

"I'm going to miss you, Mom." She suddenly broke the silence, her finger tracing the long scar across her mother's abdomen from the bullet wound through her satin nightgown.

"What?" Irina asked startled and confused.

"On my Honeymoon… two weeks. I haven't been away from you a day since…since," She didn't want to say the word, 'Kashmir' and Irina instantly knew what she was talking about and held her tighter, tears pricking her eyes, "We were kidnapped," Sydney decided instead.

**_*Forever Young*_**

"I'd offer to go with you, but I don't think Michael would appreciate that much." Irina spoke softly with a smile getting her intended laugh out of Sydney, trying to break the seriousness of the separation.

"Yes, I don't think he'd like that much." Sydney giggled, feeling her own tears and failing to blink them back even though she was smiling.

Irina felt the warm tears falling on her skin and nuzzled her cheek against Sydney's head.

"You're going to be having the time of your life…and if you want, you can call me everyday, multiple times a day if you feel like it." She kissed her head, knowing this separation was even more poignant after having been through what they had, and not apart since. "I'm going to miss you, too, Sydney." She whispered a moment later, feeling her own tears fall and roll down her cheeks into Sydney's hair. "And this doesn't have to be the last time you sleep with your 'Mommy," Irina smiled at the word, brushing Sydney's hair back again in a soothing gesture for both of them. "I will always be your 'Mommy' and you can sleep with me anytime you want. If Michael's out of town or you have a fight or, just because you want to…my arms are always open for you. Always."

"At least a couple times a month." Sydney smiled, choking back a small sob and Irina laughed.

"Ok. At least a couple times a month. No matter what and just because." Irina agreed and kissed her head, enjoying this pact as much as Sydney. They had both missed too many years, and had much to catch up for.

Sydney sighed, relieved to hear that. Part of her would always be the little girl longing for her Mommy and she realized…part of her mother would always be the woman who was torn away… longing for her little girl.

"Sydney," Irina began with a sigh of her own, "Have you and Michael decided on where you're going to make your permanent home?" She had been afraid to ask this question for a long time, afraid of the answer. She didn't know how her heart could take being separated from Sydney again.

"I don't know." Sydney sighed and snuggled in closer, needing more contact. "Vaughn and I haven't really talked about it yet. I'm kind of scared of the outcome." She voiced unknowingly sharing her mother's concern.

"Why?" Irina asked surprised by the answer. "Why are you scared of the outcome?"

"Because I don't think I could handle living a half a world away from you again. Not when I've had you so close all these months and not after losing…so much time with you." She paused, feeling new tears stinging her eyes. "And I'd miss so much of Lena growing up…she's already changing so fast and now Nicholas and Nadia. They'll hardly know me…I mean _really know me_, or I them…if I am the sister that visits once a month and we spend a few months together each year."

Irina's heart was breaking feeling Sydney's pain as her own.

"Sweetheart," Irina took hold of Sydney's hand in her own, clasping it and bringing it over her heart. "I feel the same way but I didn't want to say anything to pressure you more than I already know you are now…"

"I just don't know what I am supposed to do." Sydney sniffled, "I want to marry Vaughn, I love him and I know that by normal circumstances that means we move out and get a place of our own but, Mom, our life is not normal, has not been normal and I only got to live with my family…for the first six years of my life! Most of which I don't remember!" She sobbed and wiped at her tears with her voice rising, "I can't help it, but I feel robbed!"

"You were, Sweetheart," Irina felt her own tears running down her face hearing Sydney's plea and heartbreaking confession. Smiling and rocking Sydney softly in her arms she whispered in a soothing voice, "And you don't have to feel badly about it. I feel robbed of time with you, too. We were all robbed of time and if I had my way, you would stay here and live in the palace with us forever. I know your father feels the same."

"Really?" Sydney's voice hitched with surprise as she hiccupped and reigned in her cries.

"Yes. There are hundreds of rooms in this palace, Sydney. Far more than your father and I will ever need. We can think of no better thing to do with them, then fill them with our children and the people we love." Irina smiled through her own watery eyes. "Katya and Marcelo have decided to stay and I want you to know, that the option is open to you and Michael as well. For as long as you want, for as many kids as you have…it doesn't matter." She smiled happily thinking about the laughter of children echoing off these marble walls once more; remembering the stories her mother told her of her childhood growing up here. "They are keeping their house in Rome, of course and dividing their time between here and there like your father and I will be doing with LA. You could keep your house there, and do the same if you wish."

Sydney's eyes were drying and her heart cheering up hearing this option.

"The palace is big enough that we can see each other everyday, spend time together and still have enough space to have our own time, our own space so that we don't get on each others nerves." She smiled and laughed softly still rocking Sydney, "Or you don't have to live here at all, if you don't want to. You could still live in St. Petersburg somewhere in your own place, and visit everyday, it doesn't matter, Sweetheart. You can do whatever you want and you don't have to decide right now, ok?" She kissed her head and moved her hand up to hold Sydney's head against her chest, hugging her. "Right now, the only thing you need to think about is how wonderful tomorrow is going to be." She smiled.

"Ok." Sydney snuggled in closer, smiling now and feeling more relaxed.

"Hey," Jack smiled when he walked in and found the two snuggled up in bed. "Am I interrupting?" He asked cautiously seeing the dried tear tracks glinting on both their faces.

"No Daddy." Sydney smiled and Jack felt his heart smile at hearing her call him Daddy. "I want to sleep with you guys tonight, if that's ok?" She turned her head to look at him but didn't remove it from its spot on Irina's chest.

Jack was slightly stunned to hear that she wanted to, but smiled warmly and nodded. "It's absolutely ok."

Irina's eyes caught his and they both shared a knowing smile, both elated by something they never expected or even thought of until Sydney asked. Somehow, it just made sense and seemed right.

"I'll be right out." He smiled and went to the dresser, grabbed pajama bottoms and headed to the bathroom to change.

When he emerged he smiled at them still in the same position and crawled into his side of the enormous bed. Settling in with Sydney in between them.

"Wait!" Sydney suddenly extracted herself from her mother with a smile and began climbing over her carefully to the other side, bewildering Jack and Irina. "I know you two sleep all snuggled together." She beamed settling in under the covers with the excitement of the little girl they remembered so well.

"Sydney, its ok if you want to sleep in the middle." Jack smiled at her with amusement and delight seeing her radiant smile and seeing her thoughtfulness.

"No, it's ok, Dad." She smiled back and snuggled into Irina's left side with a little giggle and Irina just shrugged at Jack with the same amused smile. "Anyway, this way we can share her." Sydney smiled over at her father and Irina's heart swelled with love again hearing Sydney speak of '_sharing her_.'

"So what were you two talking about?" Jack smiled and propped himself up on an elbow to look at them.

"Girl stuff, Daddy." Sydney laughed, as did her mother.

"Okay…" Jack took the hint and let it drop, he didn't know, if he wanted to know, what exactly that 'Girl stuff' entailed. He instead took a moment to just look at them, snuggled together, Sydney's head on Irina's shoulder, Irina's cheek on Sydney's head, Sydney's hand on Irina's baby belly, Irina's arms wrapped completely around Sydney's shoulders; both looking absolutely happy and serene.

"Wait a minute." He smiled, rolling over in bed and reaching into his nightstand to retrieve the camera there. "Alright." He rolled back over. "Now don't move…" He smiled and took their picture. "Had to capture that, it is just too cute."

"_Whoa!_" Sydney shouted suddenly and flew back from Irina a few inches to look at her with wide eyes, "Did you feel that?" She looked at her mother excitedly.

**_*The Beach Song*_**

"Of course I felt that!" Irina smiled from ear to ear, both of their hands on her belly feeling the spot where one of the babies just kicked.

"One of them just kicked?" Jack asked just as excited with wide-eyes.

"Yes. Nadia." Irina turned to smile brilliantly at him, knowing if it was to the left of her belly button, it was her daughter. She jerked her head to look at her stomach when she felt another one.

"Ah! I felt it again!" Sydney exclaimed excitedly in amazement, her hand next to her mother's while she sat facing her; both wearing a big smile.

"I think that was Nicholas…Jack, come here!" Irina's smile widened at feeling them both and Jack quickly snapped another picture of them in this moment and then threw the camera down on the bed and lunged forward onto his stomach, hand held out and she placed it where hers had been next to Sydney's. He definitely didn't want to miss out on this, especially after missing Lena's first kicks when he was too busy screaming at Irina.

"Just wait…I can feel them moving around." Irina's eyes were wide with excitement and her heart was beating fast with it.

"_Ah!_" they all three shouted together and laughed when they felt another one.

"That was Nicholas again." Irina's eyes held Jack's smiling.

"How can you tell which one?" Sydney asked with curious excitement.

"Your brother is on the right side of my belly button and your sister on the left according the sonogram." Irina answered her in just as much awe, feeling her tears building; every time, each pregnancy…a new and exhilarating experience to feel the first kicks of the babies she carried inside her own body.

"Come on, Nadia… Daddy wants to feel you kick, too." Jack talked directly to Irina's stomach with a smile and both Sydney and Irina laughed.

"_Ah!_" They all yelped again feeling Nadia answer her Daddy's request and they laughed. Jack's eyes looking up once more and locking onto Irina's eyes, sharing unspoken amounts of love between the two.

Sydney suddenly stopped and took notice of the scene before her; the smiles of absolute joy on her parents' faces, the way they were looking at each other; all of them together, lying in a bed the night before her wedding and celebrating the first kicks of her unborn siblings. Her life had changed so drastically in the last year, all their lives, and new tears started to come to her eyes from happiness. She was lost in thought, staring into space until she heard her mother and the felt the fingers lifting her chin to look at her.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Irina had seen her daughter's tears and watched as she seemingly stared into space.

"Nothing's wrong." Sydney smiled happily wiping at her falling tears, coming faster and faster silently. "And that's why I'm crying…I am so happy."

"Oh Sweetheart." Irina smiled, and her own tears fell faster as she wrapped her arms around Sydney, hugging her.

"Last year at this time, we didn't know where you were or that you were pregnant with Lena or that you were even okay. We didn't really know anything about you except what we'd just read in a file." Sydney sniffled when she pulled back still smiling, turning her attention to her father. "Dad, one year ago tonight…was the first night that you and I sat on the porch swing, talking." Jack's own eyes went wide, not realizing it, and thinking back to that night. "Now look at us." Sydney smiled brightly, wiping at her tears. "You have a new marriage, three new babies, Julian as your son, Mikhail's back from the dead and Vaughn's parents are back together, we're out of the CIA, Mom's the Tsar and we're all royalty!" Her eyebrows rose with small laughter at how insane it all was. "And we're all together," She looked at both of them, reaching out and placing her hand over theirs already connected on her mother's stomach. "In your bed, in Alexander Palace of Imperial Russia the night before my wedding… feeling the babies' first kicks." She paused and a small giggle escaped looking at them. "Thinking about where we were last year, just one year ago, on this night…and then looking at us all in this moment now," She looked each one of her parents in the eye, smiling and shaking her head, "It's unbelievable… how much our lives have changed in just one year."

Jack and Irina were having similar thoughts as she pointed out each drastic change, both a little stunned in their own thoughts of it all and where they were last year before looking at each other and then Sydney with slow smiles spreading across their faces; then each of them looking at each other.

"_Wow_." Jack said and they all laughed and looked at each other and then each got lost in their own thoughts again.

Sydney snuggled down again into the bed next to Irina but turned, so that they were spooned next to each other, resuming the position and hold they had in Vegas and all the years they slept together when Sydney was little.

Irina's face resting and nestled against the back of Sydney's neck, and Sydney holding her arms over her mother's. Jack moved the camera and shut off the nightstand light, everyone clearly lost in thought as silence filled the air. He moved behind Irina, spooning up behind her and nestled his own face against her neck and they lay like that, spoons in a drawer for a few minutes in the dark before Jack once again said, "Wow," softly, followed by Irina's own soft, "Wow…" and then Sydney's, "Yeah… _wow_." She smiled absolutely happy and closed her eyes, falling asleep with a smile on her face that matched each of her parents.

* * *

_**AN: And the LONG awaited wedding of Sydney and Vaughn comes next chapter :)**_


	11. Chapter 11

**_AN: Yay! Sydney's wedding is here :) _**

**_Music for this chapter (on repeat): Chapel of Love_ by The Dixie Cups,_ In My Daughter's Eyes_ by Martina McBride,_ Flying_ by James Newton Howard from_ Peter Pan Soundtrack, Canon in D _by Pachelbel_, Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring _by Josh Groban_, PM's Love Theme _by Craig Armstrong_, Making Memories of Us _by Keith Urban_, Father Daughter _by Paul Simon_, L.O.V.E. _by Nat King Cole_, It Had to Be You_ by Harry Connick Jr._, Russian Waltz _by Dmitri Shostackovich_, Unforggetable by Nat King Cole, Celebrate _by Earth, Wind and Fire_, Brick House by The Commodores, When I Get You Alone by Robin Thicke._**

* * *

ELEVEN

o

**_*Chapel of Love*_**

"Oh, Sweetheart." Irina's breath left her in a soft whoosh when she walked into the room where Sydney was being dressed. She had been in another room with her _Ladies in Waiting_ as they helped her to get ready and now she stood, fully dressed in her own breathtaking off-white gown, tiara, Imperial baby blue sash with the Imperial symbol of the Romanovs, and the Order of St. Andrew and looking every bit the Empress she was. She was carrying Lena, wearing only her Onzie as she would be dressed in her own beautiful gown and tiny tiara at the last possible minute. The baby was extremely active and bouncing in her mother's arms with a big smile, loving the brilliant jewels on her Mama's neck.

Instant tears flooded her eyes when Sydney turned towards her, big smile on her face as she looked down at her white wedding gown and back up to her mother. Never believing this day would come, and especially not with her mother, alive and present to attend.

It was the wedding gown of her dreams, designed especially for her by Vera Wang, who had done her mother's and entirely fitting of a royal wedding. Designed much the same way as Irina's was with slight variations to make it her own, a new style created entirely for them, _'The Romanov Collection.' _

She was wearing the same Imperial Jewels her mother had worn on her own wedding day; her long hair had been pulled up and the matching tiara for her jewels adorned her head. She looked every bit the part of a princess.

"I feel like Cinderella." Sydney smiled radiantly; her dimples the deepest Irina had ever seen them. Her childhood dreams were actually coming true; she was a princess about to marry her fairy tale prince wearing the most beautiful gown of her life.

Irina could barely breathe and tried desperately to blink back her tears as she looked at her little girl before her. Lena was wiggling, demanding to be put down and Irina knelt to set her down, her eyes never leaving Sydney as she took in the sight before her. Lena gurgled happily and immediately began crawling towards her sister on the small circular platform, wearing the beautiful dress with the massive train that looked all too tempting to play with.

"You look…absolutely beautiful." Irina took the last steps towards her, holding out her arms with a smile and hugging her, kissing the side of Sydney's face. "I never thought I'd be able to see you on your wedding day." She lost the battle with her tears and one fell silently down her cheek, as she smiled.

"Mom…" Sydney smiled and held onto her mother's hands, not wanting to see her cry and trying to fight off her own tears, her thumbs rubbing nervous circles on the back's of Irina's hands.

"Your wedding is as much a dream come true for me, as it is for you. To be able to see you get married." Irina wiped carefully at the fallen tears, not want to smear her makeup.

"In my dreams, I always wanted you by my side…to have my mom, be my best friend and be with me on the happiest day of my life." Sydney smiled, desperately trying to keep from sobbing as she wiped at her own tears looking into her mother's warm beautiful shiny eyes. "The truth is…this is the _third_, happiest day of my life." She almost laughed when she saw Irina's flash of surprise. "The first being the actual day I found out my mother, was _still alive_. Somewhere out there in the world, you were _alive_." She reached her hand up to brush softly against Irina's cheek, needing to feel her physically. "It didn't matter that I knew you were KGB and that you had faked your death. All my life up until that point, I had wished and prayed for you to really be alive, that it was somehow a mistake and you weren't dead. I always told Francie I didn't care how you came back or what happened, as long as you were still alive, I'd take you back in any way, shape or form; as long as you were alive."

Irina's breath hitched, holding back her own sobs having never heard this before from Sydney.

"God answered my prayers. He gave you back to me." She smiled and sucked in a shaky breath, "Somewhere along the line, I forgot that I'd said, '_any way, shape or form_…' and I judged you unfairly when you weren't what I expected or remembered or conjured up in my mind."

"Sydney-" Irina began to protest that her daughter had the right to judge her but Sydney held a finger to her lips, just like she had done when she was little and wanted her attention. The gesture, forgotten by Sydney until this moment, made them both smile.

**_*In My Daughter's Eyes*_**

"No, Mom…please let me say what I need to say. You've apologized a million times and more for your part in what happened. Now it's my turn to tell you the truth…_my truth_." She smiled, and ran her thumb over the back of Irina's hand again. "The woman God gave me back wasn't the one I remembered or had imagined in my mind. You were real and complicated," She laughed softly smiling, "But the reality was, he gave me the '_real'_ you," She stole her mother's move and lifted Irina's chin to look at her lightly with her finger tips, smiling. "And that is _far better_ than anything I could have possibly imagined. I know I told you that before, but everyday I learn something new about you that just leaves me in awe. You're my hero, Mom." Sydney made sure her eyes were held fast to her mother's dark chocolate ones, looking into her soul. "You're my best friend and I love you more than I could ever say."

Irina smiled and laughed softly with Sydney at her turn in word play, taking some things she had always said to Sydney, and returning it.

"The second happiest day of my life," She sniffled with a smile, and then laughed when she looked down and saw Lena pulling herself up to stand by holding onto Sydney's dress, staring up at her with her beautiful little smile. Sydney dipped and picked up her sister, the baby letting out a peel of laughter being held by her sister who she adored, and standing so close to her mother she could touch them both. "The second happiest day of my life, was the second time, I found out you were alive. When I woke up in the hospital after the Execution," Her tears started again and she reached for Irina's hand once more, squeezing her fingers, "And I saw you laying in that bed. You were still alive. You'd beaten death and _you were alive_. You'd come back to me, _again_. Those two days, are the happiest of my life. The days my mother came back to me." She smiled through her tears and Irina was stunned; tears rolling down her face and she closed her eyes a moment slowly, smiling and opened them to stare back at Sydney.

Lena was holding onto one of her fingers and she held her other hand up to Sydney and watched as her eldest daughter's eyes moved slowly to stare at the hand before moving hers up to place against her mother's palm. Irina threaded their fingers and met Sydney's bright shiny eyes.

"I love you to the moon and back, more than stars in the Heaven's and the grains of sands on Earth…forever and always, Sydney…forever and always." She repeated softly, turning her wrist and bring the connected hands towards her mouth, kissing the back of Sydney's hand and then letting it drop to engulf her daughters in a hug. "I love you." She whispered and then pulled back, cupping her face with one hand, and Lena's with the other, looking at both of them, staring into their eyes. "I love you both so much…_so much_. You're my hero, Sydney Anne, my saving 'grace." She smiled through her tears, looking at them both again. Lena stilled, staring intently back at her mother the moment she put the hand to her sweet little face, absolutely calm. "You are my happiness, my joy…with every breath I take." She shook her head trying not to start sobbing and instead, pulled them both back into a hug. They held onto each other for a few moments in silence. "Now, my beautiful daughter…" She pulled back with her most radiant smile, "It's time for you to get married!" She laughed softly and took Lena from Sydney, kissing the baby and running her fingers down Sydney's cheek.

Sydney caught her hand and held it to her face with a smile.

"I love you, Mommy."

Irina's eyes pricked with fresh tears at the choice of endearment and she smiled.

"I love you too, Sugar Bug. Now let's get this little Wild Child ready." She laughed as Lena tried pulling at the shiny diamonds on her mother's neck with an enthusiastic giggle. "Dmitri took Katya, Bella, Carrie and Sophia to St. Isaacs just a few minutes ago. Your father is waiting for us downstairs."

The rest of their guests had already left for the cathedral as well and Vaughn and the rest of the men had gone ahead too, getting ready in the same cathedral that the Coronation was held, to not break tradition and see Sydney before the ceremony. They now anxiously awaited the bride and her parents to arrive in Procession.

Irina handed Lena to one of her Ladies in Waiting with a smile once the baby was dressed her perfect little gown, blue sash and tiara, looking absolutely angelic. The other's helped her to fasten her long purple majestic robe on over her dress, getting into full Imperial regalia. When she was ready she turned to Sydney with a smile.

"Are you ready, Sweetheart?" Irina held her hand out to Sydney and smiled widely when Sydney stepped beside her, taking her hand. The two, held hands while they descended the staircase and the Ladies in Waiting made certain they didn't trip on their long trains.

Jack instantly felt the tears building in his eyes the moment he saw them. Sydney in her white wedding dress was something he wasn't entirely prepared to see and she took his breath away, she looked so much like her mother in that moment, absolutely gorgeous…'_his little girl was getting married.'_

"You both look… There are no words." Jack shook his head with tears in his eyes and a smile, kissing each of them and then stepping between them to allow each to take hold of his elbows on either side.

Sydney had never seen her father in tears from simply looking at her and she felt her own tears come surging back.

"I can't believe our little girl is getting married." He blinked back tears smiling as they headed outside towards the carriages that would take them to the church. He helped Irina into the Imperial carriage and then handed Lena to her, helping Sydney next. When they were safely inside, his horse was brought to him and he mounted his wild white steed to lead her Imperial Majesty's Life-Guard Cossack squadrons once more.

*Flying*

The bells rang out in St. Petersburg and in Moscow the moment the gates opened and they headed towards the cathedral.

Once again the Russian people by the millions showed up to catch sight of their beloved Imperial Family on this special occasion and thronged to the streets in droves to catch a glimpse along the Processional route from Alexander to St. Isaacs. Massive amounts of security agents were spread throughout the crowds and security was on its highest for everyone's protection.

The Calvary and foot soldiers were also standing guard along the route in strict regulation and discipline held an impressive stance as the family passed the cheering crowds. Irina's Imperial Escorts, the Horse-Guards were leading the way followed again by the Life-Guards led by Jack.

The Imperial carriage carrying the Tsar Irina, and the Grand Duchess' Sydney and Tsarevicha Lena followed them. The Uhlan, Dragoon, Cuirassier, Hussar, and Cossack squadrons and regiments followed next and finally the Military School Cadets. The Procession, not nearly as long as it was for the Coronation was still very impressive and the Russian people rejoiced in pride as it passed.

"Are you nervous?" Irina reached over and took hold of Sydney's hand with a smile while Lena stared wide-eyed at the cheering people along the street.

"Yes." Sydney smiled squeezing her mother's hand and Irina felt it trembling.

"Me too." Irina answered with a smile.

"_You?_ Why are you nervous?" Sydney was shocked; her mother was usually the calm and sane one amongst chaos. That thought made her smile remembering the time she thought her mother was 'insane' amongst the chaos, like the day on the ice rink when she told her she stole all the Rambaldi pieces from the NSA and then wanted to give them, and Sloane's back.

"My child is getting married." Irina blinked back tears again with a smile, holding her daughter's gaze for a moment before turning away to once again wave at her adoring public.

The entire Procession and wedding were broadcasting _LIVE_ all around the world.

"How are you doing, son?" Mikhail came into the Groom's Room to see Vaughn and smiled widely when he saw his nervous child fumbling with his top button in front of a mirror. Vaughn was decked out in his red Imperial Military uniform that he'd worn to the Coronation. Today he would become an Official Member of the Imperial Family and join Jack as a Life-Guard to Her Imperial Majesty Empress Irina.

"I'm shaking so hard I can't button it." Vaughn sighed frustrated.

"Let me help you." Mikhail walked towards, limping only slightly now on his new prosthetic that absolved him of the use of his cane. He came to stand in front of Vaughn and smiled as his fingers took hold of the troubling pieces. "I'm so proud of you. Of the man you've become." He said softly looking into Vaughn's eyes with unshed tears. "No father could be prouder." He finished the button and cupped Vaughn's face with his strong hand, the other to his shoulder. "I'm so thankful, that I am able to be here. To be a part of this special day and standing up with you, Michael. It is such an honor. Thank you. I love you, son."

Vaughn had tears running down his cheeks and a smile lit his face taking hold of his father's neck and bringing him quickly into his arms.

"I love you, Dad." He said softly into his ear as they were hugging, "And I'm so proud, to be your son."

Mikhail's tears fell as he closed his eyes with a happy sigh, squeezing Vaughn more tightly with the words. This was the first time his son had ever said those words to him. They held onto each other a moment before stepping back and Mikhail once again cupped his son's face, looking into his eyes with a smile before letting it slide to his shoulder.

"I won't ask if you're nervous." He laughed softly, "I can see that." He looked down at Vaughn's hands still shaking. "I promise, that once you see Sydney at the end of the aisle nothing else will exist but the two of you."

"I can't wait to see her." Vaughn smiled happily, wiping his tear tracks. "I couldn't sleep at all last night just thinking about her, and how incredibly beautiful she is already. I can't imagine what she's going to look like today."

"Breathtaking." Mikhail smiled and laughed, "Just don't forget to breathe like Jack, when he saw Irina."

Vaughn laughed with him remembering their wedding well.

"Today is a big day for you. Becoming part of the Imperial Family of Russia, an Officer in Her Majesty's Life-Guards and the best part-"

"Marrying the girl of my dreams." Vaughn finished with a smile that matched his fathers. "I knew the moment I saw her, even though I thought she was insane." They both laughed, Mikhail remembering the story of how the two met, "I knew I was going to marry her. Sydney was unlike anyone else, I'd ever known."

"You're soul-mates." Mikhail smiled. "Irina and I were never meant to be. We were the best of friends and still are but it was our children, who were destined for each other. I couldn't be more happy for the two of you."

The loud thundering of the bells and the roars of cheers they heard coming from outside alerted them that the Procession had arrived.

"Come in." Vaughn called out when they heard the knocking at the door and Weiss burst in with an enormous smile. "They're here and you are going to die, Buddy, when you see Sydney."

Vaughn's smile lit his eyes and his heart began to thunder in his chest.

"Let's go."

**_*Canon in D*_**

Carrie, Bella, Katya and Sophia had all been waiting for them in their gorgeous blue frost bridesmaid dresses that were also designed as part of Vera's '_Romanov Collection'_ that hinted at their Russian heritage and were simply stunning as they shimmered in the satiny fabric.

"Oh wow," Carrie gasped with wide eyes staring at the two as they appeared at the bottom of the staircase leading into the church with Lena being carried beside them by Jack. Carrie was already nervous for taking part in such a historical and enormous event and seeing the women in front of her making their way towards them, took her breath away with the reality of Irina's royal status dressed in full Regalia and Sydney beside her, absolutely stunning in her incredible dress.

Sydney had gone to wait in a small room in the back of the cathedral so that Vaughn wouldn't see her until it was time to walk down the aisle and the others organized themselves to begin walking down the aisle.

Vaughn met them in the back and smiled widely when he saw Irina, waiting for him with an enormous smile of her own as her Ladies removed the Imperial Robe.

"Your Majesty," He took her hand in his gloved one and kissed it with a smile and a slight bow, "You look simply stunning." He would never get over the thud in his heart and the awe he felt seeing her dressed in Full Regalia. It was always an awe-inspiring site to behold.

"Thank you, Michael. You look very handsome yourself." Irina smiled at him brilliantly taking in his appearance. Sydney was truly getting her own Prince Charming.

Carrie and Marshall set off down the long aisle followed by Sophia and Julian.

"All right, my beautiful little Tsarivecha Lena," Weiss smiled taking Lena from Jack's arms and the baby smiled widely. "We're almost up. I've got the most beautiful girl to walk down with." He smiled and Jack helped him to straighten her long gown over Weiss' arm and smiled at the both of them, giving a soft nod at Weiss.

Katya and Sergei followed just after Sophia and Julian and then Bella and Mikhail followed after them. All parting company when they reached the front to stand on each side.

"Show time." Weiss smiled and stepped in line, walking slowly with Lena down the aisle as the entire church continued to 'awe' at just how precious she was and looked. Her dark little soft curls coming out from around her tiara and wearing the biggest smile as she clapped her way down the aisle, entertaining them all with her mere presence and smile. When they reached the front, Weiss handed the baby to Bella.

"Here we go." Vaughn took a deep breath with a smile as everyone turned around and a collective gasp went through the people as he began his ascent up the aisle with the gorgeous Tsar on his arm. When they reached the front, he kissed her cheek and Irina his with enormous smiles and went to take their places.

As soon as Irina and Vaughn had set off down the aisle, Jack rapt softly on the door, "Sydney, it's time, Sweetheart." He opened the door and once again he could not stop the tears that began to flood his eyes. "You look so beautiful." He kissed her forehead softly, bringing tears to both their eyes. "I love you... so much."

"I love you, too, Daddy." She smiled and took his arm. "Let's go."

**_*Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring*_**

As the first notes of the song began to play on a single violin in the orchestra everyone turned their attention to the back of the cathedral and waited for Sydney to appear. Like an angel, she stepped into view with the choirs' voices suddenly joining in.

When Josh Groban sang his first words from the balcony above them, Sydney and Jack began their walk; both of them in tears no matter how hard they tried to blink them back.

Vaughn was in tears the moment he saw her appear in the back of the church and the tears now ran silently down his cheeks as he smiled, eyes locked on Sydney's while she made her way towards him.

Everyone in the church gasping softly as the gorgeous young Grand Duchess passed on the arm of her handsome father.

"_Wow_." Will whispered in awe of Sydney's beauty as she passed him, tears in his own eyes with happiness for her.

They stopped at the front and Jack kissed Sydney's cheek with a smile and turned to Vaughn, taking his hand and connecting it with Sydney's with the same smile. He looked at them both smiling as Irina stepped down to join him behind them, taking her hand in his and waiting for the priest.

"Who here gives this woman to be married to this man?" The priest asked in Russian, smiling at the couples in front of him.

"Her mother and I do." Jack smiled replying in the same Russian, looking over at Irina and squeezing her fingers, both with tears flooding their eyes. They looked back at the priest and waited for his nod before separating and going back to stand in their positions.

The priest went onto read the scriptures and talk of the sacrament of marriage and as Mikhail promised, everything drowned out but the sight of Sydney before him for Vaughn.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered bringing more tears to Sydney's eyes when she saw those in his.

The priest kissed a white cloth and then wrapped their hands together with it, just as was done in Jack and Irina's wedding ceremony.

"She's absolutely beautiful." Kendall felt himself tearing up as he looked at Sydney and Judy smiled at him with tears in her own eyes, linking her arm with him in the pew; both so happy for her.

Lena was getting anxious and wanted her Mama and everyone laughed, as she enthusiastically bobbed in Bella's arms crying, "Mama, mama, _mama!_" Reaching for Irina in front of them with both arms, her tiny fingers grasping at the air. When she wouldn't stop, the priest paused with a radiant smile as they all watched Irina turn and take her baby who immediately planted a sloppy kiss on her mother's cheek and everyone 'awed' again. They were absolutely enamored with the sight of their Tsar and her baby, their heir, together, especially dressed in Full Regalia. To see their beautiful Empress in the role of both Tsar and mother, at the same time, was breathtaking and a source of major pride to see her fully as _Mother Russia_.

"Sorry." Irina smiled sheepishly with a whisper to Vaughn and Sydney who were only watching the exchange with the same amusement as everyone else at Lena interrupting with her calls for '_Mama_.' Once she was in Irina's arms, Lena calmed immediately and watched with fascination what was happening in front of her, all the while running her little palm softly back and forth over Irina's neck.

"I, Her Imperial Highness: Sydney Anne Ivanova Romanova Bristowva, Grand Duchess of all Russia," Sydney began in Russian with tears in her eyes flooding her sight and smiling, "Take you, Grand Duke Michael Andre Vaughn Vontonavich."

Mikhail gasped softly with wide-eyes having no idea that his son was using his real last name in the ceremony.

"To be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in good times and bad," Sydney smiled more brilliantly at the thought of all the good and bad they'd already stood by each other through. "In sickness and health, for as long as we both shall live." Her voice was quivering and tears were streaming off her chin.

"I, Grand Duke: Michael Andre Vaughn Vontonavich, take you Your Imperial Highness: Sydney Anne Ivanova Romanova Bristowva, Grand Duchess of all Russia," His own eyes were blinking hard with the pooling tears as he smile, "To be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in good times and bad," His smile widened when he felt he squeeze his hand with the last part, "In sickness and health, for as long as we both shall live."

Their smiles were both radiant and the vows left not a dry eye in the church. The priest unwrapped their hands for the exchanging of the rings and Vaughn turned to Weiss to get Sydney's ring. When he turned and saw the tears coursing down Weiss's cheeks he reached out and hugged him tightly, brothers of the heart. They had been through so much together.

Sydney had turned to Irina at the same time and both let a small sob escape as Sydney reached forward and wrapped her arms around her mother, kissing her cheek and crying before she pulled back, kissed Lena and then took the ring from her mother. "I love you, Mommy." She smiled at Irina again with a scrunched up face and smile trying not to sob again.

"I love you, Sweetheart." Irina leaned forward and kissed each of her cheeks and then her forehead, before giving a soft nod and Sydney turned around.

Sydney smiled through her tears and giggled softly when she slid the band onto Vaughn's finger. When she held her hand to him and he took it gently, sliding her own gorgeous ring up her long finger, his eyes were locked onto hers. He reached up softly with his hand and wiped her tears that brought only more.

The priest anointed both their heads with the sign of the cross, blessing them. "You may now kiss your bride." He announced with a smile and Vaughn slowly moved in on Sydney, kissing her deeply and beautifully all at the same time as everyone clapped.

When they parted, their radiant smiled beamed their happiness and they couldn't take their eyes off each other as they stood waiting for the second part of the ceremony.

Irina had passed the baby back to Bella and her _Ladies in Waiting_ had brought forth her robe, placing it back around her shoulders. Her tiara was replaced with the Imperial Crown and her Scepter and Orb were placed in each hand.

**_*PMs Love Theme*_**

Everyone watched in awed silence as Irina moved and the orchestra began playing her song, the Imperial Theme of the Tsar. She smiled at both Vaughn and Sydney as she passed them to take her seat on the throne before them, under the Main Altar. Her long robe and train; winding and pooling at her feet as she took a seat upon the glorious golden and red, regally poised and absolutely gorgeous.

Sydney stepped off to the side and watched as the red velvet covered pillow was placed in front of Vaughn. He was anointed by, the priest making a cross on his forehead.

"You know I see her like this… and I'm blown away every time." Kendall smiled whispering to Judy looking at Irina on her throne in Full Regalia and looking every bit the gorgeous and magnificent Imperial Tsar. "Like I can't believe I'm in her presence... she's like this 'Supreme-Being." His smile widened and he laughed softly, "And now, I am looking at her, and I can't help but flash to the woman in Vegas, doing that dance to _Legs_… and I realize, they are the same person. Right now, my brain is having a hard time reconciling the two."

Vaughn knelt on the pillow and Irina rose from her throne, coming to stand in front of him with an enormous smile as she saw his happiness and nervousness. She handed her Orb and Scepter to her attendant and removed her crown, touching it lightly to Vaughn's forehead before putting it back on. The blue sash was handed to her and she kissed it before placing it around his head.

"I feel the same." Judy whispered a moment later, laughing softly and thinking about Irina dressed as a Fem-bot and looking at her before them in complete awe. "I think that she is a truly unique and wonderful ruler. A ruler _of the people_… and someone who wears many 'hats." She laughed softly.

Dixon had to laugh glancing over at Chase; her eyes were bugging out of her head staring at Irina. "It's incredible and unbelievable, I know." He whispered, linking his fingers with hers, "We were so very wrong about her."

The Imperial symbol of The Romanov's and the Order of St. Andrew followed. Irina smiled and summoned Vaughn to stand before her. When he did she smiled at him and then nod. Watching with radiance in her eyes and smiled as he rejoined Sydney.

**_*There For Me*_**

Sydney looked back at Irina, smiling happily, unbelievably happy. Irina nodded at her with a smile as they made their way down the aisle with everyone clapping.

"You know the really cool thing about being royal?" Weiss turned to Mikhail whispering, watching as Irina took Jack's arm, making their way down the aisle with smiles. "You can get the original artists to sing at your wedding." He laughed softly looking up into the balcony.

He stepped forward and took Lena out of Bella's arms, and laughed softly when Lena waved at everyone with a smile on the way back down. Everyone was in love with this charming and delightful child.

Mikhail and Bella's eyes met with a knowing smile as they moved towards each other to link arms. Their only child, their little boy, their '_Little Prince'_ had grown up to become one in real life and they couldn't be more happy for him seeing his tears of joy throughout the entire ceremony.

Sydney rode with Irina and Lena in the Imperial Carriage again, while Vaughn mounted his own white steed as a new Officer of Her Majesty's Imperial Life-Guards and rode on the opposite side of Jack, leading the Procession back to Alexander. Vaughn's horse and the other carriages were brought to the cathedral ahead of time so that they would be ready for the return to the palace. Bella, Mikhail and his mother Talia, followed Irina as the parents and grandmother of the groom and then Katya and Marcelo, Sergei and Julian, Sophia and Weiss and Carrie and Marshall, each in their own carriage in pairs of two.

"I feel like I'm in a fairy-tale." Carrie whispered to Marshall smiling looking at all the cheering happy faces and riding in a carriage wearing a princess dress. This was the most surreal moment of her life. She leaned over and kissed him quickly, making him blush. "My mother's watching this on television. _Wave!_" She smiled and both she and Marshall started waving to the cameras and people.

* * *

**__**_Alexander Palace_

"Your Majesty," President Bush reached for Irina's hand and kissed it with a smile. "I must commend you on an absolutely stunning party. I was told you were the mastermind behind this glorious setup." He smiled with Laura looking around at the gorgeous gardens decorated for the massive reception; now lit up with millions of tiny white lights and the illuminated white tent awnings in the dark. Even the fountains were lit and timed to 'dance.'

"Absolutely beautiful, Your Majesty." Laura smiled happily. The Imperial titles had come out on such a formal occasion. "And the wedding was so beautiful. The Grand Duchess Sydney is just gorgeous." Their eyes turned to Sydney who was on Vaughn's arm currently talking and laughing with Prince William of Great Britain and his date, Julia, along with their own twin girls, Jenna and Barbara.

"Thank you, President… First Lady." Irina smiled at them and shifted Lena who was asleep against her chest, with her little head on Irina's shoulder, sucking on her pacifier. The reception was just finishing up with dinner and preparing for the dance.

"It won't be long and this 'little one' will be marching down the aisle, too." The President ran his softly over Lena's arm, smiling and laughing softly.

"Oh please, don't say that… I can't bear to think of how fast time flies in regards to my children." Irina smiled and nestled her cheek against Lena's hair. "It goes by much too quickly."

"She was absolutely precious in calling out for you in the ceremony." Laura smiled laughing with the others standing around them in agreement. "What a beautiful baby."

"Thank you." Irina smiled laughing softly. She felt the sudden kicking of four little legs and her smile widened, looking over at Jack. He knew exactly what was going on by the look in her eyes and he smiled back, enjoying their secret. Irina's dress had been altered perfectly in such a way that the skirt covered her belly and no one suspected she was pregnant at all.

"I can't believe how big she's gotten since I saw her last on the show." Oprah smiled, running her fingers over Lena's satiny gown. "I have to thank you both again," She smiled at Jack and Irina, "For inviting me to this fantastic celebration and allowing me to tape parts of the ceremony and private reception today and also next week's show, from here in St. Petersburg. Our ratings were the highest in the history of our show when we broadcast your interviews. Everyone loves _The Romanovs_. We received so many wonderful emails and letters about your family." She smiled at Irina.

"Yes, they were lovely. Thank you for having them forwarded on to us." Irina returned the smile and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "If there is anything else I can do for you this week while you're here, just let me know."

Oprah was taping a special week long, series of shows in Russia and Irina was going to be giving her another interview about _The Romanovs_ and what really happened with her grandparents and mother and father in the Revolution. She also planned on revealing her pregnancy for the first time to the world, something even Oprah didn't know about yet, but was sure to be thrilled. She would do a public address immediately before the show on the Russian networks, and then immediately go into taping the show with Oprah to let the world know at the same time.

"I can't thank you for allowing me and my viewers a glimpse into your lives here in Russia. I've never been this excited to shoot the show on location and this is my first trip to Russia, ever!" Oprah laughed standing next to Stedmond, her long time boyfriend, "When I received the return call from your Publicist, Annika, saying that it was all right with you to film the show here I called Gail right away and said, _'Girl, you'll never guess where we're going!_" They all laughed looking over at her friend. "When I asked her how her Russian was immediately after, she started screaming into the phone. I think I may have suffered permanent hearing loss." She laughed her deep giggle, trading her empty champagne flute for a new one as the waiter with the tray came by.

"I can't help it, Your Majesty, I was so excited! I am still! I don't think I'll come down from Cloud Nine until a few months from now!" Gail laughed with them, "Thank you so much for allowing me to come, too."

"You're very welcome. The best way to experience Russia is with the ones you love and your best friends." Irina smiled in return. Oprah's show with her billions of viewers, worldwide was also good for Russia and Irina was intelligent enough to know 'how good' it could be for Russia to have the world see it in a positive light and in turn, Oprah was donating a million dollars to each of the orphanages. Besides that, her family loved Oprah after meeting the happy woman and being on her show. She was almost as hilarious as Weiss; in fact the two were getting along quite well sharing many laughs. Will was also excited in meeting the woman he, Sydney and Francie used to watch for hours. She in turn, was very excited when introduced to him, after having read all about him in Irina's book, '_Truth Takes Time.'_

Jack chatted softly with the Presidents of France and the United States as well as the Prime Minister of Britain and Japan and their wives but Irina was lost in looking across at her eldest daughter, glowing with laughter and happiness. Her eyes immediately began to tear up thinking about what Sydney had said to her earlier that afternoon.

Sydney felt eyes on her and turned to find her mother watching her with a smile, her sister sleeping on her chest. The group around them chatting but her mother's attention, she clearly held. She reached for Vaughn's hand and excused herself from her guests, smiling as they headed towards her parents, now joined by Will, Weiss, Sophia and Julian. "Hi Mom." She smiled radiantly looking at her beautiful mother, now out of her Imperial robes and crown and back to the more comfortable tiara. She leaned in and kissed her cheek seeing the unshed tears in her eyes and smiled, dropping a light kiss to Lena's arm. "She's so tired." She cooed looking at her adorable sister.

"It's a big day for her." Irina smiled looking between her two daughters. "She's had so much fun though." She laughed. "I think she's smiled and waved at every single person here. A thousand smiles and waves would wear anyone out." They all laughed.

"She's absolutely beautiful, Your Majesty." Will smiled, tilting his head to admire the sleeping baby. "I can't believe how much she looks just like you."

"She's Mom's Mini-Me." Sydney smiled proudly, kissing Lena's arm again. "How are you doing?" She asked softly, looking into her mother's eyes, careful to not reveal anything but worried that her mother had been on her feet so much today with no rest.

"I'm wonderful, thank you for asking, Sweetheart." Irina reached out and caressed Sydney's face with the back of her hand. "How are you doing?"

"Fantastic." Sydney smiled radiantly and wrapped her arms around Vaughn's middle.

"Your Majesty, we're ready to begin." A man approached them with a smile, looking at Irina.

**_*Making Memories of Us*_**

Vaughn and Sydney took the dance floor first, swaying and spinning slowly, holding each other close as they danced together.

"They are so cute." Carrie cooed with a smile as they sat watching them.

"I just can't stop thinking about the day they met." Weiss smiled feeling himself tearing up again and blinking them back.

"Are you crying?" Carrie teased him, loving the fact he was emotional. "_You are!"_

"I can't help it." Weiss shrugged with a smile and blurry eyes. "That day Sydney came into our office, beat all to hell, bleeding out of the mouth, her teeth were gone, face swollen and that wild red hair… her determination. Mike and I both thought she was crazy." He laughed and everyone else did. "But I could just tell… by the way he was studying her as she wrote out her debriefs that he was completely in love with her from the moment she stepped into room."

Jack smiled thinking back to those years and remembering how far he and Sydney had come. He looked over at Irina who was fingering Lena's curls with her own smile watching the two dancing and hearing the story of how they met again.

"He made her happy again." Will smiled, remembering her smile when she'd come home from work and not knowing 'who' had caused it in the beginning. They all sat quietly a moment remembering how much Sydney had been through and what she lost to finally find her happiness.

"It took forever to get them together." Weiss laughed, shaking his head watching the two dancing with forehead's pressed together. "They were both afraid to break the rules, so they said… but I think its because they knew how entirely 'right' they would be together." He turned his smile to Irina, "Mike told me that it was you, Your Majesty," He addressed her and she cocked her head to the side with a smile, listening, "That pushed him to tell Sydney how he felt about her when you were in our custody."

"Really?" Judy turned her smile to Irina as well. Fascinated to learn this information.

"I just hated to see my daughter unhappy and I could see the longing in both their eyes. Even from behind the glass." Irina smiled with her famous grin and beautiful eyes when everyone chuckled softly.

"Yes, I can admit now it annoyed the hell out of me that she spotted their connection after spending a half hour with them over three months and I didn't see it until she pointed it out." Jack laughed, moving his hand to pick up Irina's and kiss it when everyone laughed.

"Apparently, there was a lot about me that annoyed you back then, Jack." Irina smirked and gave him her deviant eyes when everyone laughed again knowing what their relationship had been like.

"It will certainly be entertaining to watch that time frame in the upcoming film." Ann smiled widely, only hearing excerpts from Irina's return.

"Oh yes, it will certainly be interesting." Weiss smirked looking at Irina and Jack, "I, for one, am looking forward to finding out what really happened in Panama. You know… how it all went down." He made the dramatic hand gestures and everyone died in sudden laughter looking at them and the baby against her chest. Jack and Irina just looked at each other smiling. "See! There you go thinking about it again!" Weiss pointed, smiling and laughing, "You can see it in your eyes every time you're thinking about it!"

"I heard Bangkok was pretty interesting as well." Kendall smirked and they all laughed again. "I still can't believe these supposed clandestine missions are now going to be seen on the big screen." He shook his head laughing.

The CIA had to find a way to explain to the world why they executed the Tsar of Russia, and the only way to do that, was to tell the truth and let them see how events unfolded. They weren't really concerned about the missions being exposed now, with Irina's celebrity and the public's already, vast knowledge of her life and the Bristows. Cuvee kidnapping them recently had to be explained, as well as the reason she was arrested when nine months pregnant after the magazine released photos of her after being kidnapped by Sloane.

"Well, when you 'see' the mission to Bangkok and what she was _wearing_ combined with the high adrenaline rush of watching her in action, you'll know why my ship during that mission began sinking and all out sunk in Panama." Jack tilted his head to the side holding out his glass of champagne with a sexy smile and knowing eyes while they all laughed.

"You know… the CIA is also partially responsible for my pregnancy in Panama." Irina smiled enigmatically, pausing a moment to gauge their reactions. "When I turned myself in, I was denied my prescriptions for almost a year." She saw the instant recognition in the faces of the female agents but it was lost on the men including Jack who had no idea what she was talking about.

"Well, of course you're not going to be allowed to take any kind of drugs as a prisoner." Kendall shook his head with an amused smiled though not understanding. "What the hell kind of prescription did we take away that made the CIA partially responsible?"

Before she even answered, Judy, Carrie, Vicki and even Chase were laughing softly. Even the women who weren't in the CIA had a very good idea 'what prescription' Irina was denied if it had to due with pregnancy.

"My birth control." Irina answered with a deviant smile and laugh, kissing Lena's head and Weiss and Marshall both spit their drinks out and Kendall burned bright red with embarrassment, even Devlin was chuckling. "Not that it all didn't work out for the best in the end; as we now have a beautiful baby I couldn't imagine my life without." She smiled, rubbing her nose softly against Lena's hair.

"Well, hell… damn it!" Kendall floundered embarrassed, "We didn't have any idea that Jack was going to sleep with you! You were a prisoner for Christ-sake! You shouldn't have needed it!" His response only made everyone laugh harder and Jack burn bright red with embarrassment. First, by Irina's sudden reveal she had been on birth control when she turned herself into the CIA, that fact making him flinch internally knowing that if she was on birth control, she was obviously having sex and lots of it... with a 'steady partner.' Dubey suddenly popped into his head and the kiss with Irina on the beach made him cringe all over again and the second, with Kendall's response.

"Actually, thinking about it now and even back then," Ben smiled at Jack, thinking about the crazy couple, "I am surprised Jack waited ten months and didn't find some way to loop the monitors and seduce her in the cell even with their history."

The words had barely left Devlin's mouth before Weiss, Marshall, Dixon, and Kendall were rolling with laughter they tried desperately and failed miserably to hold in.

Jack sighed heavily and covered his eyes with his hand as flashes of his broadcast production with Irina in her cell and a slow smile spread across his face with the happy memories of that in spite of its publicity. '_They still had yet to watch that tape_.' He remembered with a smile.

"Apparently we all missed something." Director Chase eyed her boyfriend with a curious smile and then to the others who were left out of the loop.

Irina rolled her eyes with a smile at her luck and was thankful they were saved from any further discussion when the song ended and it was Jack's turn to dance with his daughter. He stood and took her hand from Vaughn with a smile when they came to the table.

**_*Father and Daughter*_**

Vaughn came and sat beside Irina and took Jack's vacated seat with a smile.

"Oh, I love this song." Judy smiled, her hands folded under her chin watching them dancing.

"He used to dance with her to this, all the time when she was little." Irina smiled, feeling tears in her eyes remembering and watching them now.

"I love the idea of having a combination wedding reception, mixing the Imperial formal with informal." Silvia smiled. "It's so much fun this way."

"That was Sydney's idea. She wanted both and I think it's more fun this way, as well." Irina smiled watching them on the dance floor. "The ceremony was so formal we wanted the reception to be more laid back… where everyone could 'let their hair down,' as they say." She laughed softly.

"It's fabulous." Silvia smiled brightly. They watched them in silence for a few minutes when she grasped Katya's hand on the table with a smile. "I think that my daughter and your son… are falling in love." She nodded in the direction where Sergei and Princess Madeleine were sitting on the side of the fountain, away from everyone else and talking and laughing quietly together; radiant smiles on both of their faces. "She's completely smitten with him. He's all she talked about since our trip to Las Vegas."

"And Sergei of her." Sophia smiled happily joining in on watching her brother and the beautiful Swede off in the dark. "You say her name and he can't tear the smile off his face."

"He's such a handsome young man." Silvia admired her daughter's choice, "Those eyes of his…make any woman swoon." She laughed softly with Katya.

"Thank you for everything, Dad." Sydney pulled back to look her father in his eyes and was surprised to find tears there. "I honestly never thought this would ever happen; you and I sharing a Father Daughter dance at my wedding." She added softly, tears in her own eyes thinking about the great distance between the two.

"When you were little, I used to think about this day, your wedding day, the day when we'd dance to this song." Jack replied smoothly, looking into her beautiful brown eyes flickering with gold and unshed tears. "When you got older and we had grown considerably apart, I realized that we would never have that Father Daughter dance I had pictured in my mind when you were little. Sydney," He paused collecting himself as the tears threatened to fall, "After your mother left, I was a terrible father to you and for that, I am so very sorry."

"Dad…" Sydney began, tears coursing down her cheeks.

"No, Sydney, I need to say this." Jack reached up and wiped her tears with a smile, "There could never be a father loved his daughter more then I love you…' I love you, Sweetheart, today, tomorrow and always. From the moment your mother told me she was pregnant with you, I've loved you. Even when I was watching you from the shadows as you raised yourself, I loved you." He smiled, a single tear making its way down his own face. "It is I, who want to thank you for allowing me this opportunity to make it up to you, for giving us this Father Daughter dance but more importantly, for just being you. You brought an immeasurable joy into my life that had not existed, until you did. You are everything good about my life." He reached up to brush the new tears from her cheek, "I love you, Sydney."

Sydney could barely breathe so overcome with emotion listening to him.

"I love you too, Daddy." She smiled through her tears and threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly as more tears and small sob escaped.

When the song ended and the orchestra struck up a new song for everyone to dance to, though in following with formal tradition, they waited until their Tsar took the dance floor first.

**_*L.O.V.E*_**

"May I have the pleasure of the first dance, Your Majesty?" Jack bowed as ever the gentleman in his handsome white uniform, holding out his hand to Irina with a gorgeous smile everyone 'awed' their cuteness again. He helped her to stand with Lena against her chest, and the three of them took the dance floor. Jack was holding both of them with laughter and smiles against him.

"You're so beautiful." He smiled staring intently into Irina's eyes as the rest of the world melted away for a moment. "You both are." He bent his head down to kiss Lena's little forehead. Within moments, other couples scurried onto the dance floor from all sides with laughter and smiles.

"Hey, you two crazy kids… stop undressing each other with your eyes. You're making me blush." Weiss and Sophia danced beside them and laughed. "Your Majesty, I just have to tell you how incredible you look this evening." Weiss smiled, giving her a slight bow. "I get the next dance with you, ok?" He smiled and winked at Jack and made them all laugh.

"Then I will have the opportunity to dance with the beautiful Grand Duchess Sophia." Jack smiled radiantly at his niece.

The song ended and Jack kissed Irina on the lips with a lingering gaze as he stepped aside and took Sophia's hand, kissing it.

**_*It Had To Be You*_**

"May I have this dance, Your Imperial Highness?" Jack smiled his beautiful grin and Sophia laughed.

"Of course Uncle." Sophia stepped into his arms.

"Your Majesty," Weiss gave her a slight bow with a smile before taking Irina and Lena in his arms.

"You look very handsome this evening, Eric." She smiled at him and made him go weak in the knees. "And Sophia certainly looks beautiful."

Their gaze turned and fell to where she and Jack were currently spinning around the floor laughing.

"She's gorgeous. She's always gorgeous." Weiss smiled happily and Irina studied his face.

"You're _really_ in love with her, aren't you?" She asked and saw him blush when he nodded.

"She's my own little 'Wild Thing," He smiled with his eyes on Sophia who was laughing at something that Jack said apparently. "I'm sure they're laughing about me. Not that I mind. I am always cracking jokes at Jack's and your expense." His eyes darted back to Irina's with serious concern, "You're not upset with me for that are you? I don't try to be, it's just you two give me so many opportunities I just can't help myself." He mumbled nervously and Irina laughed.

"Of course I don't mind. I love your sense of humor… in fact it reminds me a lot of Jack when we first got together." She smiled brilliantly at his as they swept around the dance floor.

"He was pretty funny in that first film." Weiss laughed thinking about Jack's approach to women and stalking them. "So you're ok with me being a 'joking jackass?" He gave her a cute smile.

"Absolutely. I wouldn't want you to be anything but what you are. If ever you cross the line, you'll know." Irina cocked her eyebrow at him with a dangerous smile.

"And leave a horse's head in my bed." Weiss added and they both laughed at the 'Godfather' reference again. "Have you felt any activity?" He whispered in such a way that Irina couldn't help but laugh at him again.

"Yes." She nodded with an enormous smile. "Last night we felt them both kick." She whispered back and his eyes went wide. "They're doing it now."

"Damn it!" Weiss cursed softly under his breath, knowing he couldn't feel them now, with everyone watching and no one knowing she was pregnant yet.

"Before we go to bed. I promise if they're still awake, I'll tell you." Irina flashed another brilliant smile, loving the fact he was so eager and excited about it.

"Oh my God," Weiss gasped looking over Irina's shoulder suddenly, "Who is that goddess?" He turned them so Irina could see who he was talking about and saw the beautiful woman approaching in the moonlight.

"Ash!" Irina whispered with an enormous smile, taking Weiss by the hand and casually leaving the dance floor to greet her.

"Isn't that… you know her?" Weiss asked softly with wide-eyes, recognition floating in as he followed beside Irina walking towards the beautiful brunette.

Irina's eyes were scanning the area for Julian and found him dancing with Katya blissfully unaware his world was about to be rocked.

"Yes. Very well." Irina smiled with her eyes locked on the beautiful young woman. "Ash!" She reached her and immediately embraced her carefully, mindful of Lena.

Ash was startled having never hugged or been hugged by the woman before, this side of Irina was new to her.

"Irina… I mean, Your Majesty." She laughed nervously not knowing what to call her when she stepped back to look at her, "You are absolutely gorgeous. It's been so long…" Her English heavily tinted with the British accent making her all the more exotic. "Is this Lena?" She peered at the sleeping baby. "Oh, she's absolutely beautiful." Her eyes looking up from Lena to the man standing beside Irina, "I'm so sorry I'm later then I expected. Our shoot ran long in Delhi and then my flight was delayed out of Mumbai… you know how it is." She shared a knowing smile with Irina.

Weiss was absolutely awe struck with the exotic woman before him, her piercing green eyes and flawless features.

"Ash, you are more beautiful every time I see you." Irina cupped her face with a smile taking in her graceful exotic beauty. "How is your mother?"

"She is great. She told me to say Hello and to ask when you were coming back to India for a visit?" Ash held onto Irina's hand, staring back at her with adoring eyes and loving this new warmth she saw in Irina's eyes; having always adored and admired the woman but always saw the fierce barrier which held anyone away from getting too close to her. That barrier was apparently gone and she relished the contact with the mysterious woman who had always intrigued her.

"Soon." Irina smiled, knowing that if her plan worked out, it would be very soon. "Ash, I would like to introduce you to the Grand Duke Eric Weiss, Lena's Godfather, a great friend and by extension," She smiled at him, "Family." Making him blush. "Eric, I'd like you to meet-"

"Aishwarya…the reining Queen of Bollywood, the World's Number One Box Office draw, international face of L'Oreal and Number Two on the list of the _World's Most Beautiful Women_, just behind present company." Weiss smiled at Irina, already knowing exactly who she was. "I saw your performance in _Devdas_… Fascinating." He smiled awestruck at Ash. "You are even more beautiful in person."

"Thank you." She smiled at the charming man who was blushing intensely.

"How… do the two of you know each other?" Weiss looked between them curiously. Wondering how the two could possible know each other, living such very different lives up until this last year.

"Ash's family owns a farm next to mine in India. I've known her since she was six years old." Irina smiled proudly at the beautiful woman before her. "She was usually at my house playing in the gardens or swimming in the creek." Irina remembered the two muddy children who looked positively scared to death when she caught them making mud pies in her flower garden. They were both only six years old.

"Julian and I used to get into quite a lot of mischief." Ash smiled even as her eyes took on a sudden sadness at the flash of the name and memory.

Irina saw it immediately.

"Come." She took her hand, pulling the beautiful Indian woman beside her. "I know someone who's going to be very surprised to see you." She said softly with a mischievous smile.

"Let us dance." Irina smiled zeroing in on Jack, "You two can start as a pair." She softly pushed Weiss toward the beautiful woman. He could tell by the look in Irina's eyes, she was up to something but nevertheless offered his hand to Ash and the two started dancing.

Mikhail and Bella were sitting this one out with Talia and as Irina breezed by spotted them sitting at their table.

"Would you mind terribly, watching Lena while I dance with Jack? I don't think I can waltz with a sleeping baby in my arms." She asked politely, kissing her child's head.

"Of course not." Mikhail held out his hands with a giant smile and carefully took Lena from Irina, transferring her to his own shoulder where she nestled in and fell right back into a deep sleep, sucking happily away on her pacifier. Irina smiled at Bella before joining Jack.

"I'm afraid I don't know much about this waltzing." Ash smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear as she stepped into Weiss's arms. "Bollywood films have never required this type of dancing." She smiled and they both laughed.

**_*Russian Waltz*_**

"Just follow my lead, My Lady. I won't steer you wrong." Weiss smiled and they began to sway to the favorite Russian Waltz.

"Where have you been?" Jack asked with a smile to Irina when she joined him, "Or maybe the better question is, '_what have you been up to?_' I can see that naughty gleam in your eyes, My Love."

"I want your help." Irina looked around the dance floor trying to find Julian. She saw him dancing with Sydney at the far end and he obviously hadn't spotted Ash yet. "When we switch partners," She immediately jumped into her plan, her eyes scanning the floor and making Jack look at her curiously with a smile. "I need you to start dancing with Ash, see that beautiful young brunette with Eric?"

"Yes." Jack's eyes darted to the couple a few feet away. "She's very beautiful. Is that-"

"Yes, she is." Irina's smiled widened proudly looking at the beautiful young woman.

"Well since I doubt, very much that you, my wife, are trying to match make me with a woman who's old enough to be our daughter. What are you doing?" Jack looked down at her with a knowing smiling.

"When we switch I am going to step in with Julian. When we switch again, I need you to be near me so that Ash and Julian end up together." She smiled coyly.

"Are you trying to play match-maker?" Jack laughed softly watching her deviant eyes sparkle.

"Yes." Irina smiled, "They were once very much in love… and four years ago I forced Julian to make a choice. I told him that he could not be in my organization and stay with Ash; it was too dangerous for her. She was not of our world, Jack." She looked at him with sad eyes. He nodded in understanding. "He knew I was right, it was too dangerous for her and so… he broke up with her without any real explanation. They used to play together as children and she was essentially, his best friend. They were perfect together, Jack. I'd never seen him happier… than when he was with her." She talked fast, knowing they didn't have a lot of time.

"And now that he's out of that life, you are hoping that their connection will still be there?" Jack asked softly with a smile. She nodded and it grew. "You are a such a romantic." He kissed her lips softly, "I'll help you."

When the time for the switch came, Jack stepped in with Ash and Irina turned to step in with Julian.

"Hello." Jack smiled at the beautiful green-eyed brunette who was slightly stunned to be dancing with the Emperor Consort.

"Hello, Mama." Julian smiled, taking her into his arms.

They danced quietly for a minute before Irina timed it down to just seconds before the switch before she spoke, her eyes darting to Jack's to make sure he was keeping Ash's back to Julian's and ready for the switch.

"Julian, do you remember when I said that your real birthday gift would arrive in a couple of weeks?" Irina looked up at him with a dangerous smile.

"Yes..." Julian asked slowly looking at her knowing she was up to something with the look in her eyes.

"Happy Birthday." Irina kissed his cheek and turned him for the switch the same time Jack turned Ash and the two fell into each other with wide-eyes.

Julian was too stunned to move and stood there staring into her beautiful green eyes. Ash was equally stunned, not prepared to meet him like this. Both of their hearts began to race and they stood stone still, just inches from each other while everyone danced around them.

Jack cleared his throat loudly beside them as he danced with Irina and when Julian looked over, both his parents were making head gestures at him to dance with her. Julian snapped out of it and held up his hand and Ash took it; he pulled her body closer to his and the two began to dance silently, looking into each other's eyes.

Jack and Irina both were watching them intensely. When the dance was over, they stood back from each other and clapped along with everyone else but not taking their eyes off each other.

"I think you may be right about that connection, Mama." Jack smiled watching as the two looked at each other as if they were the only ones there.

**_*Unforgetable*_**

Julian stepped forward once more, holding his hand out to her as the next slow song started. Hesitantly, Ash accepted and fell into his arms. They danced silently together again and Julian pulled her closer, his cheek resting against the side of her head, both lost in thought. She couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes trying hard to blink them back, unable to look at him as her heart felt like it was breaking all over again as they dance and listening to the lyrics of the song.

Julian was afraid to breathe and make her disappear, his gloved hand playing softly with her fingers as he held them, his nose inhaling her intoxicating sent. "I'm afraid if I breathe," Julian finally spoke in a whisper, directly into her ear, "That you will disappear."

Ash closed her eyes and couldn't stop the single tear that escaped.

"Then why did you push me away?" She whispered into his ear.

"To protect you. I loved you too much… to lose you." Julian whispered, feeling his own eyes building with tears unshed, and he nuzzled his nose against her silky brown hair further.

"That doesn't make any sense, Julian." Ash reached up to wipe a tear and her knew she was crying. "Why didn't you just tell me what you did?" She knew now after watching their lives unfold on television and the news, what he had done for a living.

"I could never live with myself, if something happened to you then, because of me, because of what I did. It was too dangerous for you… to love you then, for you to love me." His heart was breaking all over again thinking about their separation now. "I wanted you to have a happy life without living with the threat of dying and danger looming over your head. You deserved so much… everything the world had to offer… I just wanted you to be safe and happy."

"I was happy with you. I felt safe with you." Ash whispered back, not trying to stop the tears coursing down her cheeks now. "You hurt me, Julian."

"I am sorry." He whispered, feeling his heart burning with her tearful voice in his ear.

"You broke my heart." Ash whispered with a soft sniffle, reaching up to wipe her cheeks.

"Let me fix it." Julian nuzzled his face into her, his lips just beside her ear and pulled her hand in his between their hearts.

They both fell silent after that, holding onto each other. She turned her face more into his and closed her eyes, reveling being in his arms again.

Irina's eyes were filled with tears watching them dance and Jack nuzzled his own face against hers.

**_*Celebrate*_**

"Woo-hoo!" Sydney yelped when the song changed and the bodies and the on dance floor immediately started jumping around and dancing wildly with laughter.

"Oh God, Jack!" Irina laughed at the song even though they were both dancing along. "I haven't listened to _Earth, Wind and Fire_ for years!"

"Neither have I but hell, do as the song says, 'Celebrate good times come on!" Jack laughed, and pulled on her arm twirling her under his and dancing like they hadn't since their own wedding, both singing with the song.

"Do you remember Sydney in the car, singing along with the 'woo-hoos' from the backseat?" Irina asked him laughing when she whirled by, seeing her daughter singing along with them now.

"Yes!" Jack laughed, remembering his toddler enthusiastically throwing her hands up in the air singing along, "What was she? Three?"

"Yes." Irina nodded and they both looked over at her now, in her wedding dress going crazy with Will and Vaughn laughing. "Where did the time go?" She asked quietly, taking on a certain sadness, in her eyes even with her smile that her little girl had grown up so quickly.

"I don't know." Jack sighed, and shook his head thinking the exact same thing. He suddenly burst out laughing when he looked over and saw President Bush dancing with his daughters, his twins… wildly and smiled thinking about the fact he still had two on the way. "Come on!" He tugged on her hand and they went over and joined with the younger ones in 'celebrating.'

Barnett was enjoying herself immensely and laughing with Kendall as they danced when Jack and Irina cutting across the dance floor caught her eye. Her smile widened when she saw them dancing and laughing with Sydney and the others, once again astonished by just how much this family had changed.

**_*Brick House*_**

"I think I'm going to sit this one out." Jack laughed, "You guys have fun dancing!" When the song changed Jack looked over to see Lena was awake and went to relieve Bella and Mikhail so they could dance.

"For Francie!" Sydney grabbed Will's hand with a smile and unshed tears, knowing how much their friend loved this song.

"For Francie!" Will smiled with his own tears and they began dancing their hearts out for her.

They formed two lines and two by two, people began to dance down the center, getting wild and putting their best alcohol induced moves out there. Will and Oprah went down the middle together followed by a hysterical Irina and Weiss whose facial expressions and moves as they sang along with the song demanded attention.

"I danced with Oprah to Francie's song!" Will smiled excitedly at Sydney when they rejoined the line. "She's got to be smiling down from Heaven watching this. Next time, you and me… and we'll give it all we've got for her!"

Sydney smiled in return, blinking back her tears with a raging smile. And they did, bringing down the house with applause and whistles.

**_*When I Get You Alone*_**

Irina was having a blast dancing with Sydney and her family and friends, laughing and smiling and thoroughly enjoying her self. Julian and Ash also seemed to be smiling and laughing as they danced with everyone else, allowing her to breathe a little easier knowing things were going in a positive direction with them and Jack, was having fun laughing at them from the table.

"I had no idea Irina Derevko had such moves." Chase smiled amused watching the mother-daughter duo on the floor tearing it up.

"You should have seen her in Vegas!" Kendall cocked his eyebrow with a smile and laughed with the rest of the table who were there to witness it. "That woman's got moves I've never seen before!"

Jack smiled shaking his head watching them on the dance floor. His wife and daughter were absolutely enjoying themselves, _together_.

"See… this is one of those times my brain has a hard time remembering she's the Tsar of Russia, if not for the Imperial dress, regalia and crown, watching her dancing and laughing out there. It's just incredible to think of the transformation from the woman, the Empress on the throne today and the ceremony with Vaughn, into… this _wild woman_ and the one in Vegas!" Kendall shook his head bewildered and everyone at the table laughed.

"Irina is… '_extraordinary_." Judy replied softly, looking at Jack and sharing a knowing smile, vividly remembering his own use of that word to describe the woman that day in his office, who could '_disarm_' anyone with her charm.

"Yes. She is." Talia nodded with a beautiful smile. "She is her mother's daughter. Anya must be looking down at her from Heaven with such a glow, such pride in her child. Both her children." Tears began to fill her eyes as well as Sydney and Katya's when she looked at them. "She only had a few years with Irina, but it was a love that was enough to carry her a lifetime."

Jack once again felt a wave of sadness for never having the privileged chance to meet the astounding woman and mother of his beautiful wife and also the irony in Talia's word in reflection to Irina's relationship with Sydney. That Irina's love for Sydney was powerful enough that when she left, six years of that love was enough to carry Sydney for another twenty-one and probably a life-time if she had never found out about who her mother really was and began to doubt that love.

Katya also felt a pang of sudden sadness, realizing now in this moment, how short of time her mother and sister really did have together as her sister left home to America a teenager. Just sixteen years old and never saw their mother alive again.

Chase still couldn't get over the fact listening to them, hearing them speak of motherly pride, that Irina's mother was Anastasia Romanov.

"I think it's fabulous." Silvia smiled, enjoying her new friends more with every encounter. Her own family's lives had changed considerably since meeting The Romanovs, especially her relationship with her own husband after Vegas. Finding the simple joys in each other they had once loved and forgotten over the years. "Irina knows what its like to live… _really_ live."

"That's because… she knows what its like to die." Katya smiled at her sister with a sobered expression remembering vividly the Execution, softly rocking the baby in her arms, as Lena's eyes grew heavy with sleep again. "Irina said, that she knows she's living on borrowed time now and making the most of it." She smiled more brightly, adding, "And this is Irina we're talking about, she's always been, the life of the party. The person who lights up a room just by being in it, a burning ball of energy." She laughed with them.

"My burning ball of energy." Jack smiled watching her dance and eagerly anticipating the end of the night so they could go out with a 'bang'.

"My God, Jack. I had no idea you were such a romantic!" Kendall looked at him astonished and laughed, remembering the stone cold man he'd known just a year ago.


	12. Chapter 12

_**AN: **__**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Jump by The Pointer Sisters, Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and The Waves, Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? by Moby, Porcelain by Moby, The Beach Song by Hans Zimmer, Life is Beautiful by Vega4**_

* * *

TWELVE

o

"You know what the best thing about having your own jet is?" Weiss smirked with ruffled hair across the breakfast table, pouring Sophia and himself another glass, looking across the table at Sydney, inhaling the aroma of her coffee bringing her to her senses that following morning with a smile, "You can sleep in late and don't have to worry about missing your flight." They laughed.

The happy newlywed couple, as well as those Americans having to return to work tomorrow, were supposed to depart earlier in the morning but everyone was too tired to get up so they all slept in having decided on that just before bed the night before.

"I can't wait to find out where we're going or what we're doing." Sydney smiled at Vaughn and then her mother. "You haven't given us any hints!"

Irina and Jack were giving them their honeymoon as part of their gift to the happy newlyweds. Irina just smirked at her with a shrug taking a bite of toast as she sat next to Weiss and Jack at the head of the table; Lena in her high chair beside her.

Everyone but Julian and Sergei were awake and eating a brunch type breakfast before the happily married couple left on their honeymoon.

"Well, what did she tell you to pack?" Weiss looked back and forth between the two women with a smile, "That should give you some idea as to warm or cold or in between."

"That's just it! She's so insane over keeping it an absolute secret that she bought us new clothes and said they would be waiting for us when we arrived!" Sydney laughed as did everyone else and Irina only shrugged with a smile again, giving nothing away.

"Well are you at least going to tell us?" Weiss asked excitedly looking at Irina. "Come on?" He nodded at her exaggeratedly and smiled. "You can tell me. I won't tell." He leaned over as if suggesting she should whisper in his ear making everyone laugh.

"Not a chance!" Irina laughed, folding her hands in front of her and resting her chin on them, "So, Mr. Weiss, have you decided on a name for the foal?" She asked curiously with a smile, remembering her promise two nights before to let him choose whatever name he wanted.

"I certainly have!" Weiss's smile was radiant and he waggled his eyebrows at her, already laughing. "The name of the foal shall be… _Legs!_" His smile lit his eyes as everyone died of laughter and Irina covered her eyes shaking her head, finally laughing with them. "You promised! Remember, you can't back out now!" He pointed at her, not about to let her back out of it.

Instead of answering, she reached over and took his hand making him sit up straight and stare at her with wide-eyes when she put his hand on her belly, having just felt the babies' kicks and smiled.

"I don't feel—_Whoa!"_ Weiss was about to say he didn't 'feel anything' when he suddenly felt the kicks against his palm and smiled widely. "_I felt it! I felt it!_" He looked around excitedly at the wide-eyed faces watching the scene.

"They're kicking?" Katya asked breathlessly with tears in her eyes, this the first any of them save Vaughn and Sydney, who had told him of it last night, knew of it.

"Yes." Irina smiled, moving Weiss's hand to a different part of her belly where she felt Nicholas kicking now. "We felt them for the first time, the night before last."

"It was so amazing! I was lying in bed with Mom and we were talking and my hand was on her belly and then all of the sudden it was like, '_wham wham'_ against my palm! It was so… amazing." Sydney rambled excitedly jumping out of her chair to come feel them again, knowing she was about to leave for two weeks and would undoubtedly miss a lot.

"_Ah!"_ Weiss yelped again with glee on his face. "Oh my God, this is so cool! And creepy!" He added still smiling and made them all laugh. "Soph! You've got to feel this!" He turned excitedly to his girlfriend.

Sophia stood immediately as did Katya and Bella and made their way over. Irina pushed back from the table with an amused smile as the five of them put their hands on her belly. She looked over at Jack and shared a smile seeing how happy these babies were already making everyone.

"Oh!" All of them cried out together with smiles and laughter when they felt it.

"Your Majesty, May I… I… touch no I mean… may I-" Marshall asked nervously wanting to feel the babies kicking.

"Of course, Marshall." Irina held her hand out to him, gesturing him over with her beautiful smile, always amused by his cute shyness around her. "Anybody else? I don't mind, honestly. Don't be shy." She looked around with a smile and there were a lot of sheepish smiles of nervousness amongst the remaining.

Vaughn's grandmother and the rest of his Russian family immediately got up to feel excitedly.

"Oh, I've got to feel this!" Carrie sprang from her seat to join in with a smile.

"Me too." Judy smiled and Kendall looked at her surprised.

"Oh! Me too! Me too!" Ann jumped up excitedly, running over.

"Oh, I have to as well… It's been since Robyn was still in-utero that I've felt a baby kicking and never twins." Dixon caved and walked over with a smile while Chase's eyes bugged out.

Everyone taking turns with four or five hands on Irina's stomach at a time.

"Vaughn! Get over here!" Sydney smiled waving him over.

"And the bossy wife syndrome has already started." Weiss snickered and Sydney hit him playfully.

"Will, you too!" Sydney saw him looking curiously over, obviously wanting to but hesitating. He got up slowly with an embarrassed smile and squatted down next to Irina, waiting for his turn.

Irina smiled down at him with her beautiful peaceful smile and held out her hand, taking his in hers, and placing it where she felt Nadia kicking on his side of her body.

"Ok, I've got to, as well." Ryan sheepishly got up and came over, hesitating a moment even if he was a doctor to put his hand on his 'Mrs. Robinson's' stomach and feel the life inside her kicking. His eyes met hers when he felt them, her beautiful smile instantly melting him into a puddle the way it did every time.

"You know what I just realized? You were this pregnant the other night when you were beating the sand out of those bags!" Weiss smiled with the realization, "You really are one _Deadly Mama_!"

"I told you those photos of her nine months pregnant, injured and handcuffed with arm guards were misleading in the magazine." Kendall smirked over at him, remembering the recent release of the CIA photographs of Irina's arrest.

"What's wrong, Kendall? Why aren't you over there?" Jack nodded with his head towards Irina with a smile, goading him. "Are you still scared of her?"

"Not _'still,_' Bristow! _Always!_" Kendall answered with a smile and they laughed. "And besides… I think getting into bed with her was enough _touchy-feely_ for a few years."

They all laughed harder thinking about that story.

"Oh come on now, Kendall… What have I ever done to you? _Physically_, I mean." Irina corrected herself with a laugh, seeing his already arched eyebrow thinking about her sabotage of the CIA with her mastermind plan. "Am I really that bad?" Irina looked at him with that weapon smile of hers that made every man go weak in the knees.

"I never said you were bad. I just have a healthy respect for what you're capable of." Kendall gave her a tight smile that curled up in one corner and a shrug.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better… I made a vow to God when I became Tsar to never take anyone's life again even if they are bad guys." She flashed him a small smile once more, teasing him. "Not saying you're a bad guy…" She played on his words.

"Then why do you sleep with stilettos under your pillows?" Kendall countered back at her with another smile, enjoying their banter.

"Protection… and I made a vow not to kill, I never said anything about inflicting debilitating damage." Irina flashed him another mega-watt smile that made everyone laugh.

"_Oh wow_…" Dixon marveled when he felt a hard kick, looking up at Irina with a smile.

"If I rub it like Buddha, will you give me a lot of money?" Weiss started rubbing circular motions over her belly with a smile that made everyone laugh, especially Irina.

"Oh, Rina." Mikhail felt the tears pricking his eyes sharing a knowing smile with her, remembering Kashmir and knowing she was as far along then, as she was now. "I'm so happy for you." He moved his hand and kissed her forehead gently. By the tears forming in Irina's eyes also, they all knew, what the silent conversation was about taking place between the two and Kendall finally caved.

"Oh… ok…" Kendall groaned like he _had to do it_ though, they could all see he really wanted to. He got up slowly and walked towards the end of the table, hands on hips and nervous as hell.

Irina smiled at him and took his hand, pulling him down so that he was squatting in front of her and placed his hand on her belly, completely clear of all other hands but his own. She placed it on the left and then beckoned for his right hand, too. He looked at her confused and surprised but did as she asked. She placed the other on her right, her hands covering his as she moved them both around slightly. His sharp intake of breath when he felt the first kick against his palm startled him and made Irina smile.

"That was Nadia." She told him with soft smile and he looked up immediately into her eyes. "And that was Nicholas." He'd felt the kick to the other palm a second before she spoke. Her smile was radiant.

"That's… _amazing_." Kendall almost whispered in shock and awe, seeing her yet again in a new light in spite of watching her give birth to Lena, he'd never felt a baby moving inside a woman's body before. The smile that lit his face, matched her own.

Irina smiled at Chase, the last holdout sitting alone at the far side of the table. Her eyes seeing the hesitation in Chase's and knowing it was because the woman was still having a hard time accepting her as one of the 'good guys.'

**_*Jump*_**

Irina was saved from any action when they suddenly heard _The Pointer Sisters_ blaring through the palaces front rooms on surround sound. Irina shared an instant curious and amused smile with Jack before she got up to investigate, everyone following her out of the kitchen.

When they reached the doorway to the Main Foyer and Grand Staircase they all had to stifle their laughter at watching Julian, wearing only his pajama pants was dancing around on the stairs with his back to them, having no idea he was being watched. He was tapping his foot back and forth, rotating it on his heel and then began moving his shoulders running up a few steps then stopping and jumping in time with the song. His arms shot out and he began pointing with one finger and then the other hand. His whole body began to shimmy back and forth and then he jumped down two steps and back up one, then running up a few steps and jumping, taking a few running steps to the side and then sliding to the edge of the stair on the marble floor, jumping and clapping when he hit the end.

"I take this is a sign, your birthday gift went over well." Jack whispered with a smile into Irina's ear.

Will couldn't believe the man before him was the same 'Mr. Sark.'

Julian started going crazy with the song and when he began doing the moonwalk with fluid motion as well as Michael Jackson himself, his audience could no longer contain themselves and started cheering for him loudly with clapping and whistles. He spun instantly horrified he'd been caught; mouth hanging open and the color draining from his face. He had no idea anyone else was home beside himself and Ash upstairs still asleep. Everyone else was supposed to be at the airfield by now.

"Oh no! Don't stop on our part! _Twinkle-toes!"_ Weiss howled and began dancing crazily with the song and pulling Sydney beside him into dance while everyone kept laughing.

Soon everyone else joined in except for Irina and Jack who were watching them all now moving onto the staircase repeating Julian's little 'jump' dance, laughing, while Julian stood frozen in place. Irina walked over and grabbed his arm, kissing his cheek with a knowing smile. He was embarrassed but obviously deliriously happy and she started pulling on his arms, making him dance again. He finally caved in watching her and smiled widely; joining in again and not caring if anyone saw him anymore, he 'was' so happy.

**_*Walking On Sunshine*_**

When the song changed they all continued to dance and slide around on the marble in their slippers and socks, having a ball and laughing hysterically at the break dance and robot moves Marshall was whipping out.

"Thank you for my birthday gift, Mama." Julian smiled at her, his eyes piercing hers with their intensity. "You were right, it was something I always wanted, the only thing left, that I _needed_." He kissed her cheek and hugged her, closing his eyes and feeling truly happy. "Now… all is right in my world." Whispering into her ear as they danced, swaying together, still hugging. "My missing piece."

The words brought tears to Irina's eyes, relieved to know her 'maternal instincts' where he was concerned were right. The last bindings around his heart had apparently broken free and he was never happier.

Ash and Sergei had both woken to the sounds of the music and laughter and were now watching the crazy people below from the banister having a blast dancing around wildly to the music.

Ash was completely mesmerized watching Julian and Irina, having never seen them like this in all her life. Her reunion with Julian had gone better… a lot better then she had anticipated when she got on that plane yesterday from India. Instead of torturous as she imagined it would be, her dreams came true and she finally filled in her missing piece when he gave her back, her heart.

Julian looked up and saw her, gave her a wave and started running up the stairs towards her with a smile.

"Come on." He took her hand and pulled her with him down the stairs dancing all the way. Everyone including Irina, surprised and delighted to see that Ash was there and had indeed, apparently spent the night seeing her in her own satin red robe and slippers.

"My goodness that girl's gorgeous." Ann gasped watching as Julian dragged the poor girl down the stairs with excitement.

"Good morning, Sweetheart." Irina leaned forward, kissing Ash's cheek and giving her a hug, seeing she was a bit embarrassed with everyone staring at her shell shocked, first by her incredible beauty and then the fact that Julian apparently had a girl over… and not just any girl, but one that made him dance like no body was watching.

"_Oh my!_ Irina, you're pregnant!" Ash's eyes went wide as she stepped back from the hug and saw the belly for the first time, her fingers lightly going out to touch it. "I can't believe this! Where was it last night? I couldn't tell at all?"

"Hidden beneath layers of fabric." Irina smiled, "We're having twins."

"_Twins!_" Ash's smile widened in awe looking down at where her hand was making contact. "That's wonderful! Congratulations!" She hugged Irina again even as Julian was tugging on her arm dancing. "I'll be right back, Your Majesty." She finally gave into his brilliant smile and tugging on her arms and she started dancing with him.

"I'd say the shell is gone." Jack wrapped his arms around Irina's middle from behind, nuzzling his face next to hers with a smile, whispering as they watched Julian laughing and dancing with the girl who had apparently brought him to life, really to life. "_Match-maker, match-maker, make me a match…_" He started singing softly in her ear and making her laugh. "You're pretty good at this, Mama, reading your children and seeing the chemistry sparks of love in their young eyes." He smiled. "You were right about Sydney and Vaughn… and looking at Julian and Ash, I think you were most certainly right about them too."

"I hope so." Irina whispered back, hoping and praying with all that was in her for this to work out between them.

* * *

_***Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?***_

"Remember," Irina cupped Sydney's face standing on the tarmac in front of the brilliant silver jet ready to take off, Sydney being the last, with Vaughn, to board. Everyone else had said their goodbyes and settling in, inside. "You can call me anytime you want, whenever, night or day, ok?" She looked into Sydney's eyes, her own eyes burning with tears hoping her daughter called her for both their sakes. She wouldn't call and interrupt their honeymoon but she was just as 'needy' of Sydney as she was of her during this first time separation. Sydney nodded with tears streaming down her cheeks, trying to hold back a sob as Irina engulfed her into her arms. "I love you, Sweetheart." She kissed her and held her tighter. "You're going to have so much fun."

"I love you too, Mom." Sydney stepped back wiping her tears and headed towards Vaughn who was standing a few feet away, giving them their space and knowing it was going to be hard on both of them, this first separation after Kashmir.

Irina's heart was pounding in her chest at the anxiety she felt watching as Sydney and Vaughn walked away, already counting the minutes and hours until she saw her daughter again.

They waved when they hit the top of the boarding staircase and waved one last time before going inside and Jack turned Irina around, pulling her to him and kissing her head, knowing she needed it right now.

"Come on." Jack tugged on her hand but Irina stayed planted firmly in her spot, watching as the blocks were pulled away and the plane began to roll towards the runway. He knew she wanted to stay and watch them take off and pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and leaning his head into hers.

Irina reached up and held onto his arms over her chest with her hands, tears in her eyes as they stood watching.

The sound of the engine change reached their ears a mere second before the plane took off like a silver bullet down the runway and was airborne just as it passed them.

Sydney's face watched from the window and saw their little waves, waving back though she knew they couldn't see her and new tears started down her cheeks.

Vaughn hopelessly, helpless in the seat beside her; threaded his fingers with hers and gave her a reassuring smile when she turned to face him.

"I'm sorry." Sydney gave him weak smile in a whispered voice when they'd been in the air twenty minutes, feeling horrible about being so sad when they were leaving on their honeymoon.

"Hey," Vaughn reached up smiling and brushed her cheek, "You don't have to apologize… I understand." He kissed the hand he held making her smile widen. "I love you, my wife."

"I love you, my husband." Sydney smiled and wiped at the tears on her cheeks.

"I know what will help this situation." Vaughn smiled, kissing her hand once more and undoing his seatbelt.

"Drinks." Sydney smiled with a giggle he loved so much even as more tears fell.

"Yes." He smiled and leaned over kissing her and brushing his nose with hers. "I'll be right back."

Her eyes went back to watching the clouds outside before he was even out of his seat. When he walked to the back of the room, he found the others already digging into the bar and snacks, talking and laughing about how much fun they'd had.

"Hey Buddy, is she ok?" Weiss asked quietly looking towards the front where they could see Sydney propped up on an elbow, looking forlorn out the window. He knew that something wasn't right seeing the tears glinting off her cheeks with the sunlight.

"It's the first time they've been separated for more then a few hours." Vaughn whispered back holding everyone's attention as he poured a drink for he and Sydney. When he saw the looks of deeper confusion he elaborated. "Since Kashmir." He saw the lights suddenly go on in Kendall, Weiss, Dixon, Vicki, Marshall and Carrie's eyes.

Ann, Ryan, Judy, Will and Chase still looked a bit lost, having no idea the severity of what happened to them there.

"Irina and Sydney haven't been separated a day since they were kidnapped and tortured by Cuvee… in Kashmir." Weiss elaborated for them quietly and watched the sad looks that fell upon all their faces.

"And the first time they're separated is for two weeks." Kendall shook his head sadly, scrubbing his hand over his mouth and chin; angry as hell at the reminder of what Cuvee had done to them and saddened that something that was supposed to be so happy for Sydney, leaving for her honeymoon, was also bringing a terrible amount of sadness and anxiety.

"Well, that explains the lost look in Irina's eyes in the limo ride to the airport." Judy added quietly.

Most had missed it as Irina was very good at masking her emotions but Judy saw the definite change in the woman's eyes as someone trained to recognize the hidden emotions in people.

Vaughn nodded, having seen it too, because he was looking for it. Sydney suddenly got up and made her way to the front bathroom and all eyes watched her retreating form with fallen shoulders.

"I don't know what to do. I'm afraid her nightmares and flashbacks from what happened will come back now." He voiced his concerns to the psychologist in an almost panicked voice when the door closed behind Sydney. "And I don't know how to handle them. She always goes to Irina when they hit." He swallowed hard, "Because the flashbacks are usually about Sydney's panic when they were separated the final time in that Godforsaken place and she thought Irina was going to die… and she'd never see her mother again."

"Old feelings from her childhood dealing with the loss of her mother… on top of the new anxiety of loss after a traumatic event." Judy nodded in understanding. "And you're worried that Sydney calling Irina, won't be enough?"

Vaughn nodded; relieved someone else understood his panic in this moment.

"Why not?" Chase asked softly; her heart strings tugging hearing about and seeing first hand with Sydney, how what happened to she and Irina had changed them in ways that weren't usually seen by others; the lingering effects.

"Because Sydney goes to Irina when she has these flashbacks… because she needs to physically '_see_' her mother and '_touch_' her… hold her, in order to calm her panic and fears and to know Irina's really 'okay.' That she's still alive and with her." Judy elaborated and Vaughn nodded again with a deep sigh. "And calling won't afford the same comfort as the physical connection."

"And with Lena, too." Vaughn added softly, knowing Sydney felt the same way about her baby sister after believing she died at the hands of the monster during this course of events as well.

Judy nodded in understanding of that as well.

"I hadn't realized they were both still suffering so much from the fallout." Kendall voiced quietly.

"I think they will be dealing with this for some time to come if not forever to a degree. They went through something _extremely traumatic _that we will never be able to completely understand." Judy sighed, tracing her lips with her fingers as she thought, "That is made worse for both of them because of their history surrounding the prison before hand. Sydney still feels guilt over believing she was partially responsible for putting Irina there the first time and-"

"Sydney was just a baby; only six years old! How can she feel guilty for that?" Ann asked with tears already in her eyes hearing the heartbreaking truth behind the recent trauma.

"It doesn't matter in her mind. All Sydney knows are the facts. The facts being, that her mother went to that prison the first time, first because Irina didn't abort her and then because Irina was trying to protect her again by disregarding a Direct Order to bring Sydney back to the Soviet Union for the KGB to do experiments on when she was Extracted." Judy sighed remembering her analysis of the tapes and Sydney's reactions to the new information when they first found them. "And then, when Irina was in CIA custody, Sydney said she basically blackmailed her into going back to Kashmir to help them on their mission, of course, Sydney had no idea what happened to her mother there before, at the time, and Irina went. Again, to protect Sydney." Judy went on explaining the complexity behind Sydney's emotions surrounding this and Kendall gulped, feeling especially terrible for his role in that as well. "And with their last trip to the prison, Irina almost died protecting Sydney once again." She paused a moment, "Each of the three times Irina was at that prison, she was protecting Sydney in some way, no matter what the cost to herself. Sydney knows this and that's what makes this all the more traumatic for her."

"And her _need_ for Irina… that much stronger." Carrie voiced in almost a whisper with unshed tears in her own eyes.

"Yes." Judy nodded. "Irina was her protector in a terrible situation and as she's still suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I imagine, she only feels completely safe in her mother's presence as the two survived the ordeal together, because of each other. They feel vulnerable now that they're not together and their minds go back to that moment in prison, when they were separated for a final time, knowing they would never see each other again, and for Sydney, knowing that she'd never see her mother alive, again." Her own eyes began to get teary, "And being away from Irina now, saying goodbye for an extended period of time, brings out that panic and sadness Sydney felt in that moment of never seeing her mother again."

"_God_…" Kendall whispered sadly shaking his head looking at the closed bathroom door and realizing the full scope of the trauma inflicted upon them emotionally for the first time.

"Maybe we should wait," Vaughn sighed, "Go back and do this another time when she's ready."

"No." Judy shook her head with a sad smile at his loving gesture, "Whether it's today or six months from now, the same thing is going to happen upon their first separation. They will never be '_ready_' as you say; there is no perfect time that will ever be less painful. I think it may be rough at first but eventually Sydney will be ok. She just needs to realize, she'll be ok and that can only happen when she does it on her own time." She smiled at him, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze, "Follow her lead and you'll both be ok, you'll see."

* * *

Sydney picked up the phone in the large bathroom after staring at it for the last five minutes. She rapidly dialed the familiar number and heard it pick up on the second ring.

"Mom…" She almost cried into the phone.

"Sydney," Irina sighed with a smile and tears in her eyes the moment she heard her daughter's voice. Jack looked up at her from across the room where he was feeding Lena when he heard their eldest daughters' name. They'd just gotten home from the airport. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just, I had to call you and hear your voice and tell you… tell you, Mom, I love you." Sydney sighed loudly into the phone as silent tears made their way down her cheeks. "I miss you already."

Irina's heart was squeezing painfully in her chest she closed her eyes and the tears fell when she smiled at the bittersweet words.

"I love you and miss you, too, Sweetheart."

Jack's own heart dropped hearing her reply and knowing what Sydney was obviously saying and going through on the other end of the phone. This separation more painful than they all expected.

"I'm glad you called, Sydney." Irina opened her eyes and wiped at her tears as she began to pace slowly around the room.

"I feel like such a big baby," Sydney whimpered into the phone with a smile, brushing angrily at her tears, "But I can't help it, my heart just misses you."

Irina stopped suddenly and sucked in a sharp breath, the back of her hand going to her mouth trying to stop her own whimper at Sydney's truth that echoed her own.

"You're not a big baby, you're my baby and my heart misses you, too." She wiped at her freshly fallen tears and Jack swallowed hard, "I told you, that you could call me whenever you needed to, Sweetheart. It's ok. I'm here."

"Ok," Sydney sniffled and smiled feeling slightly relieved at hearing her mother's voice but still longing to reach out and hold her. "I wish I could hug you through the phone."

"Me too." Irina laughed softly with a smile. "I love you, Sydney, it will be ok," She tried to sound reassuring for them both, "Enjoy your honeymoon and I'll see you at the airport with a big hug when you return."

"Be prepared and ready to brace your self, Mom," Sydney laughed softly smiling, "I'll probably knock you over when I launch myself into your arms." She smiled hearing her mother's laughter on the other end. "I love you, Mom. I'll call you later."

"Later." Irina echoed, neither of them wanting to say 'goodbye.' She pressed 'End' on the call and wiped at the tears on her cheeks, turning to Jack with a pained smile. "Thirteen days, four hours, twenty-one minutes and…" She glanced down at her watch, "Forty-two seconds to go." She laughed softly counting down the time.

Jack gave her a sympathetic smile when she came to sit beside he and Lena, running her hand over the baby's little head, smiling at her. He sincerely hoped that Sydney and Vaughn would agree to stay and live with them as he didn't know how his wife and child could handle being separated for great lengths of time ever again after spending too many years apart.

* * *

The Captain of the plane came on and told them to prepare for descent a little while later into their flight and everyone quickly took their seats and prepared for landing with curious smiles on their faces having no idea where they were landing, only that it was near the Mediterranean Sea with the beautiful green and jade water below them. When they were on the ground one of their personal flight attendants came back to speak with them.

**_*Porcelain*_**

"Your Imperial Highness's, this is your first stop on the leg of your journey." She smiled at Vaughn and Sydney as the plane taxied off the runway and they could now see a helicopter out the right side windows. "You'll be boarding that helicopter," She pointed out the window with a raging smile as everyone came to that side of the plane to look out the window. "And it will take you to your next stop."

"Where are we? Turkey?" Sydney smiled excitedly, fully intrigued now seeing the large helicopter fired up and ready to go.

"Yes, Your Highness, you are currently in Turkey." She smiled and gave a slight bow. "Enjoy your trip and have a safe journey."

"Syd, that helicopter says _Imperial VII_. on the side! How the hell many modes of travel, does your' mother have?" Weiss asked excitedly with a smile.

"At least seven." Dixon smiled and laughed, reading the number on the aircraft.

"You're obviously getting to your destination before we're going to get home so you have to promise, _please, please, please_, to call us as soon as you get to where you're going and tell us what the hell it is, she planned for you! I am dying to know!" Weiss clasped his hands together like he was begging with a smile.

"Ok." Sydney smiled and laughed, giving him a hug and saying goodbye to the others.

They boarded the helicopter and took off while the rest of those still onboard Imperial One watched with smiling faces. Sydney reached over and grasped Vaughn's hand in hers as they flew over the incredible water of the Mediterranean Sea, smiling in excited happiness. When they had flown about forty-five minutes out across the sea they spotted a large white ship below them.

"Oh my God…" Sydney gasped when she saw they were approaching to land on the helipad on the rear of the mighty yacht. Looking through the windshield of the helicopter as they approached she could clearly read, _Imperial III_. on the back of the ships stern and broke into an enormous smile, having no idea her mother owned such a massive yacht.

They landed smoothly on the ship moving full speed ahead and thanked their pilot as the helicopter was shut down. When they stepped onto the platform they were met by the Captain of the ship, dressed in full regalia and two officers by his side.

They all bowed slightly with smiles and he stepped forward to greet them.

"Welcome Grand Duchess Sydney and Grand Duke Michael onboard _Imperial III_." His smiled widened reaching out to shake Vaughn's hand as the warm salty ocean air breezed through their hair. "We will be cruising across the Med for the next to weeks making many stops at ports in Alexandria, Egypt; various Greek Isles; and ports in Italy and Spain and wherever else you'd like to travel to. Her Majesty the Empress Irina told me to tell you, your wish is my command." He bowed again with a smile.

Vaughn was floored looking around the massive expanse of just the yachts helipad, knowing from the size of the ship they saw as they were approaching, the yacht was enormous.

"Please, let us show you to your Stateroom." The Captain held his hand out guiding them inside.

"Vaughn, this yacht is enormous!" Sydney whirled around once the door was closed to gaze out the giant windows surrounding their bedroom on three sides, with views to the front and both sides of the ship in its place at the top and front of the yacht. "I can't believe my mother owns a yacht like this and never told us! This is fabulous!" She giggled excitedly and flopped down on the Imperial size bed, clearly the Tsar's bedroom. "This is going to be a fantastic honeymoon." She waggled her eyebrows at him and laughed pulling him down on top of her.

"I agree." He dropped his head to kiss her mouth, rolling them on the massive bed and pinning her beneath him. "This is the largest yacht I've ever seen." He laughed, looking around and then back at her. "Makes me wonder, what the hell _Imperial II_ is, if this is number _III_?"

"Me too." Sydney giggled, "We've got to call Eric. He's going to die when he hears about this."

The phone rang on the bar and Weiss bolted out of his seat on the plane to answer.

"So where are you?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

"Well, you're never going to believe this." Sydney beamed, standing in a baby blue bikini and sarong on bow of yacht with wind whipping in her hair and Vaughn coming up behind her with a cocktail sporting a little pink umbrella. "We landed on _Imperial III_. The enormous yacht in my mother's apparent collection in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea! I'm standing right now on the bow of the ship drinking cocktails as we head towards Alexandria, Egypt on the first stop of many!"

"_Holy shit!_ You landed on a yacht!" Weiss jumped excitedly and landed in the big leather chair while the others watched and listened to him intently.

"I know!" Sydney giggled excitedly, and ran her hands over Vaughn's arms encircling her waist. "It's enormous, Eric! Seriously. Enormous! I can't believe it, Vaughn and I are standing here in shock knowing we have it all to ourselves along with the helicopter at our disposal for the next two weeks!"

"We are definitely taking that baby out cruising more often! _Empress, Empress, Empress_," Weiss laughed, "I wonder what other surprises she's hiding. You said it was _Imperial III_ yeah, so what's _Imperial II_?"

"I don't know, Vaughn and I were just wondering the same thing." She laughed from where Vaughn's hands were going under her suit. He took the phone from her with a deviant smile.

"You know where were at now, and this is our honeymoon so I'll say goodbye now. We have important things to tend to." Vaughn laughed and ended the call leaving Weiss laughing hysterically on the other end.

* * *

Irina went on air the following morning, broadcasting from the palace and announced her pregnancy to the people of Russia and to the world with a raging smile.

Within minutes she walked out of her office to meet Oprah in the garden to do the interview about Alexander Palace and The Romanov's history, carrying Lena and smiling madly knowing the woman was going to be surprised when she saw her baby belly.

As soon as she rounded the rose bushes and Oprah, set up for the interview already, saw her stomach her mouth fell open and eyes went wide.

"Your Majesty… You're pregnant!" Oprah smiled and took the few remaining steps to meet the Tsar with a smile and a hug. "I can't believe it! Never would I have guess that was under your dress!" She laughed. "You never said anything! You're such a sneak!"

"We wanted to keep it to ourselves until after the wedding." Irina smiled and sat down in the comfortable wicker lawn chair with Lena sitting in her lap and chewing happily on the _Cheerios_ Irina was feeding her. "I just announced it to the Russian public, we're having twins." Her smiled radiated and Oprah's eyes widened, her hand flying to her mouth as her eyes darted to Irina's middle.

"_Twins_!" She gasped surprised and Irina laughed softly, knowing this was all being filmed for broadcast later.

"Yes, a boy and a girl, Nicholas and Nadia, due in February." Irina smiled happily and opened her hand for Lena to pluck another Cheerio from her hand, the baby smiling madly.

"You were pregnant on the last show?" Oprah smiled, still in awe and shock, staring at the woman before her.

"Yes." Irina laughed softly, nodding, "Although, I didn't know it at the time, I was pregnant. They were very much a surprise. An unexpected surprise on the Coronation." She smiled madly watching as Oprah's mouth fell open wider. Irina knew that people were bound to figure out when the babies were conceived being so close to the Coronation she figured she might as well be honest and confirm it. It was a very special day after all. "Yes, I know." Irina shook her head laughing in disbelief with Oprah about the timing of these babies. "My husband passed out in the doctors office when he told us we were having twins." She laughed harder and so did Oprah.

"Congratulations, Your Majesty." Oprah smiled widely. "I'm just sitting here in shock, forgive me if I'm staring." She giggled shaking her head. "The Coronation… Wow, that really was a big day for you and for the entire Romanov family." She laughed and smiled in awe.

"Yes and thank you." Irina smiled, brushing her face against Lena's hair and inhaling her baby scent. "We're very excited."

Oprah couldn't stop the smile forming on her face at looking at the woman looking positively maternal in the soft glow of the morning sunshine, holding her baby, pregnant and gorgeous with the wind blowing her hair softly.

The interview proceeded with Irina filling her in on all aspects of the Romanov life inside the palace before the Revolution and after as she gave a tour, explaining the significance of certain rooms in Alexander, like Irina's study where she conducted most business from St. Petersburg; where her grandfather Tsar Nicholas the II had also done business. She also told many intimate and fascinating details of her family's personal life that left the interviewer gaping at her with a smile.

Showing pictures before and then the obvious after of various rooms including the famed Throne Room, where her actual throne was and where she was going to hold an audience once a month with people from her Imperial Kingdom who wished to express certain things or concerns to her in person like the Tsars and Monarchs of long ago had. Most of the people's concerns had been passed along to Irina via her parliament and their regions elected officials but Irina still wanted to have that personal connection with her people and not keep them separate and apart from her being too detached in not having the contact.

Oprah was in awe standing in the room before the throne in the golden room realizing the significance once more of the woman beside her. She had gone bananas over Lena's nursery and gushed about how exquisite it was, her favorite part being the large dollhouse with the onion shaped domes and mural on the ceiling with open skylight.

When they were walking along through the Tsar's Village, the name given long ago to the ground surrounding the palaces, making their way to Catherine's Palace to tour the historical rooms there; standing on the bridge, Irina felt the babies kicking and could see Oprah wanted to feel, knowing she wouldn't ask the Imperial Tsar of Russia to touch her stomach, Irina made it easy on her by taking her hand and placing it over her belly smiling.

Both women smiled delightedly when they felt the kicks again and Oprah was once again amazed by the personable charm this regal Tsar held. She gasped audibly when the brilliant blue of Catherine's Palace began to appear before them.

The interview ended just after 2 p.m. and Irina said her goodbyes as she and Jack had an appointment with Alexei.

Julian had flown back to Mumbai with Ash after the wedding, deciding to spend some more time with her, as she had to get back to filming and couldn't stay longer. He also had to take care of business with a club there while in town.

Bella and Mikhail offered to watch Lena for the afternoon and set out about St. Petersburg with her in tow. His mother and brother and the rest of their family having left the night before.

* * *

Irina sat fidgeting on the exam table making the paper beneath her rustle and chewed her lip nervously for minutes in silence while they wait for Alexei.

Jack hadn't seen her this fidgety since they were going over the plan to capture Sloane that night in the hotel room in Panama. Something was obviously plaguing her mind as it was that night.

"What's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" Jack asked, pushing off on his heels and wheeling the small stool towards her, taking her hand in his with a smile.

"I have this feeling… this anxious feeling, I can't shake." Irina stopped chewing her lip only long enough to answer and sigh deeply before resuming both the lip chewing and fidgeting; one hand going over the kicking babies inside the confines of her body.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked concerned trusting her intuition and immediately worrying about Sydney and Vaughn thousands of miles away and Julian and Ash, and Lena cruising around St. Petersburg. "Something with the kids?"

Irina nodded and swallowed hard, the speed of her shaking leg increasing.

"Sydney? Julian? Lena?" He asked rapidly, her thumb running in circles over the back of his hand, a telltale sign she was nervous and worried.

"I don't know. Its' just this, sense of foreboding I can't shake." Irina looked into his big brown eyes with her own, reading his concern listening to her.

"Well, should we call them? Have you talked to Sydney yet today?" Jack asked with his own heart pounding in his chest with worry now.

"No, I haven't talked to her but I don't want to call them either if nothing is wrong, Jack. It's their honeymoon." She gave him a small smile.

"Well ok, but we can at least call Julian and Mikhail to find out if he and Lena are alright." He whipped out his phone and began dialing just as Alexei appeared in the doorway with a smile. Jack quickly shut the phone and stood, giving the doctor his stool though not relinquishing Irina's hand as he stood beside her.

"Hello, my Tsarina," Alexei smiled brightly at her, taking a seat on the stool in front of her Jack had vacated. "How are you today? Worn out from that fantastic wedding and ceremony?" He laughed softly when they smiled.

"We're fine actually." Irina replied smoothly, betraying no feelings of nervousness that she was feeling. "We've named the twins," Her smile widened, "And felt them both kicking like crazy the last few days."

"What did you name them? If I may ask, Your Majesty?" Alexei smiled widely, excited and happy for them.

"Nicholas and Nadia." Irina smiled, looking at Jack and thrilled with the names they had chosen.

"Perfect." Alexei smiled warmly, "Your mother would be so happy to hear, that you're naming your son after her beloved Papa. She loved him so, which is why she gave you the name, as well." His kind words brought fresh tears to Irina's eyes and she nodded with a teary smile, not trusting herself to speak in that moment.

Alexei saw the emotions threatening to fail her and gave her and Jack both, a small smile, placing his hand over theirs and squeezing softly before reaching for his stethoscope to listen to her heart and lungs. He then took her blood pressure and smiled when everything was normal. His heart beat, rapidly in his own chest with the news he was about to break to them.

"Rina," He addressed her softly, sitting down on the stool again and looking straight up into her eyes; startling both she and Jack by his use of her family nickname, something he didn't call her at all now, only her title. "We got the results of the amniocentesis back on the twins." He swallowed hard and saw the instant flash of fear in Irina's eyes, "I'm afraid I have some troubling news."

Irina's eyes instantly flooded with tears and she gripped Jack's hand hard, ceasing to breathe and her heart sinking now understanding what her anxious maternal feelings were all about.

"What's wrong?" She choked out, still refusing to breathe.

"Rina," Alexei continued to use her nickname, being completely intimate about this information and speaking in soft tones, holding her big dark teary eyes with his own. "When we did the genetic test, we found out that Nicholas will be born with Hemophilia."

Irina inhaled sharply and burst into tears, covering her mouth and trying desperately not to cry, her worst fears coming true.

Jack was instantly panicked and confused as hell, hearing what Alexei had just told them and watching Irina breaking down into silent sobs.

"Like Alexei?" Irina managed to say in a shaking breath with tears coursing down her cheeks that only increased when Alexei, the doctor, nodded and it was then that Jack knew what Alexei she was talking about. Her mother's little brother, her Uncle who was a Hemophiliac and suffered greatly from it as a child, which is why, Rasputin met the family in the first place.

"Except that medicine to treat Hemophilia is far greater in advances then it was during your uncle's time, Rina. Your son will be able to live a normal life with the proper medical treatment." The doctor tried to re-assure her with a soft smile, covering her hand with his.

"_Wait! Back up!_ I don't understand!" Jack shook his head trying to clear through the fog and shock and immense emotions swirling around him of panic and fear, worry for his unborn children already. "How did this happen?" He was confused and unable to think clearly and he wanted to understand exactly what they were dealing with.

"It's my fault." Irina sobbed, looking apologetically at Jack, who was stunned with her admission and confused even more and she started crying all over again, hating herself. "I did this to him."

"No child, you didn't do anything to him." Alexei picked up her hand and kissed it, feeling tears pricking at his own eyes. "These things happen and no one is at fault or can explain the 'why' they happen the way they do. You had no way of controlling this, Rina."

"I don't understand…" Jack's eyes were filling with unshed tears, seeing her in such distress and fear and sadness rising steadily within him.

"Rina, is a carrier of the Hemophilia gene," Alexei looked at Jack softly, explaining in medical terms what exactly happened. "Something that was passed onto her by her mother Anya, who was also a carrier, and she from hers, Alexandra, all stemming from her Great-Great-Grandmother Queen Victoria."

Jack nodded following along, listening intently. Irina shook her head in disgust with herself and dropped her head as tears began dripping off her chin and her heart already squeezing painfully as her hand began shaking clenched tightly around Jack's.

"Rina doesn't have Hemophilia because it is a recessive gene on her second X chromosome, therefore making it inactive in her body. Children get one X chromosome from their mother and one chromosome from their father. If you have a daughter, that obviously means she got one X chromosome, from each of you. Irina, like Lena," He looked at her with a small sad smile, knowing she was beating herself up over passing it onto her daughter, "Received the one X chromosome from her mother that carries the Hemophilia gene, but because her father, and you in Lena's case, each contributed a normal X chromosome, they remain 'unaffected carriers,' meaning they only carry it, they are not affected by it and are perfectly normal."

"But Sydney and Nadia?" Jack asked frantically having never heard about Sydney having anything wrong with her genes that could harm her and Irina had told him that Lena was a carrier when she told him that the baby also had the same DNA structure and heart size as she and Sydney but that she was perfectly healthy and normal so he didn't worry about it, seeing as Irina was a carrier too and had nothing wrong with her.

"Are not carriers because they received the unaffected X chromosome from, Rina." Alexei smiled softly, squeezing Irina's hand gently and Jack sighed in relief, understanding genes and how they worked before but never in relation with his family. Trying to sort it out now, when it was his own children that were affected, his mind was all over the place trying to understand.

"And Nicholas?" Jack gulped.

"The X chromosome he inherited from Rina, was the carrier gene and because it is the only X chromosome he inherited as a boy, receiving the Y from you… he has Hemophilia." Alexei swallowed hard watching as new tears ran rivers down Irina's face and then spilled out of Jack's eyes.

"Oh god…" Irina whispered through her sob as her world came crashing violently down as realization finally set in fully. "I can't lose another baby!"

"Oh, Sweetheart," Alexei took her hand and squeezed it as the other cupped her face, his soft old and wise hand tilting her face up to look into his eyes. "The chances of that happening are very slim. You're doing beautifully in this pregnancy and I suspect you will carry to full-term without any problems. Right now they are both safe and happy inside the confines of your body." He smiled, placing his other hand over hers, now on her belly protectively. "The fact that Nicholas is a Hemophiliac changes only a few things in terms of how we're going to deal with your pregnancy. Everything else we will handle after he's born." He smiled, trying to sound reassuring. "Rina, this is not your fault… you had no way of controlling this. Your son will be beautiful and live a fairly normal Imperial life." He cracked a wide smile trying to get her to smile at his joke, knowing that life inside the Imperial family was anything but 'normal' compared to the outside world.

"What does this change with the pregnancy?" Jack swallowed hard, blinking back tears and taking Irina's hand in both of his, in no way blaming her though he saw in her eyes she was still blaming herself. She was their mother, the protector and now she felt guilty for giving him something that was potentially life threatening even if she had no control over it and it was killing her on the inside knowing she was responsible.

"Well, as you know, Hemophiliacs have problems with their blood not clotting properly and bleeding out easily if sustaining injury." He looked at Jack and watched as he nodded, following along and Irina was staring at the floor, clearly lost in her own world as the tears fell silently down her cheeks. "According to the test, Nicholas is lacking in the clotting Factor XIII. Newborns skulls are soft so that they can squeeze through the birth canal, but this process is actually extremely traumatic for the baby even in its natural state."

Irina's eyes finally looked up to meet Alexei's, worrying over the birth immediately racing through her mind and heart.

"In babies with Hemophilia, there is a chance that the pressure put on their heads coming through the birth canal, can actually cause inter-cranial bleeding on the brain."

"Oh god…" Irina gasped and her iron grip tightened on Jack's hand, more tears surging forth.

"I'm not trying to scare you or say this 'will' happen," Alexei smiled apologetically, knowing this was every parents worst nightmare come true and there was no easy way to explain to them the risks without panicking them. "I'm just going to suggest, that we not take any chances of that happening… and do a Caesarian Section when the time comes to deliver the babies, avoiding the birth canal and any potentially traumatic pressure."

Irina inhaled a shaking breath, scared as hell but nodded along, doing anything to protect her babies and keep them from harm. "Ok, we'll do a C-Section then… I don't want to risk it." Her teary eyes flashed to Jack's and he nodded, seeing his own fear reflected in her eyes. "I'll do anything you want me to do." She looked back at Alexei.

"Like I said, your babies are completely protected and safe right now inside your body, but I don't want to risk anything and want to take every precautionary measure I can." Alexei paused, "I don't want you to work out and exercise at all anymore," Alexei looked at her solemnly, "You may walk and do your yoga and Tai Chi, but that is it." Irina nodded and inhaled another shaky breath. "And I want you off your feet for at least an hour in the mid-morning and again in mid-afternoon… I know how hard you work but you can still work, and sit down! Eat more! Foods high in calories!" He looked at her pointedly with a cocked eyebrow and smile.

Irina finally cracked a tiny smile but it was short lived as she nodded in compliance.

"Everything else will be exactly like your last pregnancy. You were already high-risk before this, though high-risk is something that seems to have always been part of your normal life, so this shouldn't change much." Alexei smiled at her, "I still want you to have weekly check-ups and get as much rest as you can, when you can. In all other regards, this is a normal pregnancy and you shouldn't worry." He smiled, giving her hand a little shake beneath his, "I want you to go out and still do all the other normal things you do…" He reached up to wipe her tears and cup her face again, "Enjoy your pregnancy… everything will be alright." He smiled and saw their reluctance to believe.

Irina and Jack's minds were both reeling and incapable of forming any thoughts or reactions other then to nod.

"Your body is an extraordinary thing, Rina… The differences in your DNA and heart size and strength, actually take ten years, at least, off your physical age." His smile grew seeing the flash of surprise in both their eyes, being _The Chosen One_ did have some perks. "The calendar may say you're forty-eight, but your body is no where near that in its impeccable form…a little too thin for my liking, but..." He flashed her a knowing smile, "You were born special my child, anyone else having lived your life would have died long ago." He ran his thumb softly against her cheek, holding her gaze with a fatherly tenderness, "Your body will take care of you, and your beautiful babies… everything will be alright." He held her face until she nodded with fresh tears. "Ok, now," Alexei smiled widely, "Let us see these beautiful babies again." He pulled the ultrasound machine over towards them.

Jack helped Irina to lie back and Irina complied with the motions even if her mind wasn't registering anything else at the moment. She pulled up her shirt and exposed her now very visible baby belly.

**_*The Beach Song*_**

Alexei squirted the gel on her skin and swirled the wand around in it, spreading it around a bit before turning the machine on and the sounds of the loud mixed heartbeats filled the room.

"There they are!" He smiled excited, running the wand over the expanse of her abdomen and showing both perfect babies. Irina turned her head and couldn't stop the smile from coming to her lips hearing their heartbeats and seeing how beautiful they both were on the screen. She squeezed Jack's hand more tightly again and felt her heart thundering in her chest.

"Excellent." Alexei smiled taking in their measurements, "They are both right where they should be. A little small but that is perfectly normal in the case of twins and not surprising considering your size." He turned his smile to them, trying to reassure them everything would be all right, "Everything looks beautiful." His eyes traveled back to the screen and froze it on the profile shot of Nadia first, taking a picture and then Nicholas. Irina's eyes were flooded with tears in a mixture of happiness at seeing her beautiful babies and how much bigger they both were, how they had changed looking at the screen, and sadness knowing her son was going to be plagued with a disease he got from her.

"Don't worry, Child." He smiled softly at Irina, "I've never known your children to be anything less then extraordinary, these two look to be as if they are no exception." His eyes flitted to Jack's sharing a smile. "According to the test, your children also inherited your amazing genetics, Rina, like their older sisters, along with the larger then normal heart which I can very clearly see on the sonogram." He zoomed in on each of their beating hearts and Jack internally rejoiced to find the twins also inherited Irina's astounding DNA and heart differences that seemed to make her Super Human and keep her alive in impossible situations when most would die; that was a major bonus they had going for them as the children of _The Chosen One_.

It also explained why Lena 'held on' after going through so much with Irina before she was even aware she was pregnant with her, and then after, all before she was born. Not to mention what she survived under Cuvee's torture; she had that same super DNA and heart.

"Those astonishing aspects combined with the advances in medicine now, I've no doubt in four years I'll be watching the young Grand Duke kicking a winning goal at a football game." His hopeful optimism got the intended responses from both parents, small smiles on each of their faces at the picture it presented looking from the baby on the monitor to picturing the little boy kicking a winning goal.

When they returned home they broke the heartbreaking news to Dmitri, Katya, Marcelo, Bella and Mikhail being as they were the only ones home and there was no denying their somber moods and the tears that wouldn't cease to course down Irina's cheeks.

Katya and Mikhail knew something was terribly wrong the moment Irina stepped foot into the house even before she started crying.

They asked them not to reveal anything to any of the children until they could tell them in person. They wanted to tell Julian and Sydney and Vaughn before they informed anyone else but didn't want to tell them over the phone and ruin their all too brief reprieves of happiness before their worlds came crashing down like that of their parents with the news.

Irina was silent through dinner and excused herself, resembling a zombie as she took Lena upstairs and put her to bed, crying non-stop as she rocked her and apologized profusely to the sleeping baby for passing her Hemophilia carrying gene onto her daughter.

Marcelo tried to reassure Jack in her absence that with the advances in medicine today, Nicholas would be able to lead a fairly normal life with the aid of treatments and that a potential cure was on the horizon with numerous medical studies being conducted around the world devoted solely to that purpose.

When Irina hadn't returned, Jack excused himself and went to look for her, knowing how terribly upset she was. He walked into their bedroom and found it dark with only a small lamp in the corner on, she was curled up into the fetal position facing away from him on her side of the bed. The symbolic gesture of her body position was not lost on him though he knew she had done it unconsciously; curling herself into the fetal position and surrounding her belly with her body, protecting her babies, shielding them from danger as any mother would try to do. His heart shattered remembering seeing her in this position on the Kashmir films when she was trying desperately to protect her unborn baby from Cuvee and the guards' attack. He could see her shoulders shaking and heard the small gasps of air and knew she was crying. Silently he crawled across the bed to her, and enveloped her into his arms, spooning up behind her and burrowing his face against her neck.

Irina only cried harder when she felt his arms going around her and turned in his arms, facing him with puffy eyes as the tears rain down her face.

"I'm so sorry, Jack." The pain ripped through her heart seeing the tears in his own eyes when she came face to face with him, knowing he was in pain.

"For what?" Jack whispered, reaching up to cup the side of her face with tears running down his own cheeks, "You didn't do anything wrong, My Love… Irina, you had no control over this and I certainly don't hold you responsible."

"But I am responsible, Jack!" She cried harder, unable to stop with the emotions surging through her body. "He wouldn't have Hemophilia if I hadn't passed him my defunct genes and Lena too… now she's going to have to worry about her own children being born as carriers or Hemophiliacs because I passed the defunct gene onto her as well."

"Irina, you aren't responsible for what your genes are." He gave her a small smile, through his tears, "They may have received a defunct gene from you but they also both inherited your incredible DNA and heart size and I'm sure that's a hell-of-a-lot more then they will get from me, not to mention my own defunct genes. Have you not seen my ears?" He smiled, trying to make her laugh and smile.

"Your ears can't hurt them, Jack." Irina ran her hand over the side of his head, over his ear and new tears surged forth. His heart clenching painfully in his chest seeing the shear torment she was in.

**_*Life is Beautiful*_**

"And yours won't either." Jack leaned in and covered her mouth with his in a sweet kiss.

Irina closed her eyes and deepened the kiss in a hungry need to connect with him, to be close to him as her heart continued to break in slow motion. Her hand threaded into his hair and pulled him closer to her and when he complied she immediately moved the hand to join her other one and rapidly began to undo the buttons.

Jack pulled back, breathing heavily with tears in his own eyes to look at her, trying to gauge the situation and not wanting to push her into anything she was ready for.

"I need you." Irina whimpered with tears coursing non-stop down her cheeks when he pulled away, with his hand on hers, stopping their movement.

He'd pulled back to look in her eyes and gauge the situation, not wanting to push her into anything she wasn't certain about doing but hearing her plea, he completely understood, feeling the same way and knowing he'd only find the comfort he was so desperately searching for, with her, the one sharing this tremendous pain.

Jack rolled her over onto her back and propped himself up onto one elbow, before slowly dropping his lips back to hers. The hungry passion and need for each other quickly escalated again, wanting to drown their pain in each other.

She pushed the shirt from his shoulders with hands eagerly raking over his hot chiseled flesh immediately moving down to undo his belt and pants, pausing only briefly to allow Jack to pull the shirt over her head.

His hands slid under her back and released her bra clasp, pulling that off as well; his own' hands working rapidly but softly with urgency as did hers.

He moved on top of her, hovering over her body and bracing himself with the hands to either side of her shoulders she continued to push his pants off his body as far as her hands could reach and freed him from the confines, long fingers eagerly caressing his length while sucking his tongue deeper into her mouth, tears running rampant out of her eyes and falling into her hair.

He gasped softly into her mouth when she first grasped him into her palm and dipped his mouth to worship her throat and then slowly moved down her body, stopping to kiss and cherish each inch of her flesh.

When his eyes met the beautiful belly where the objects of their joy and pain were currently residing his own warm tears fell against her hot skin and he dipped his mouth to place soft kisses on each side, one for each baby.

The gesture caused Irina to sob lightly and he quickly leaned up her body and kissed each of her closed eyes and then captured her mouth, holding onto a sweet kiss as his own tears fell and mixed with her own.

He moved back down her body and undid her own pants, sliding them gently over her hips and down her body, throwing them softly off to the side and shimming the rest of the way out of his, kicking them to the floor with his eyes trained on her perfectly beautiful pregnant naked form.

He slowly crawled back up, over her body, brushing the stray hairs from her face looking at her with her eyes closed and continuous tears.

She felt his weight hovering over her as their bodies barely touched except for where their legs brushed against each other, his gentle hand reached down and slid the length of her thigh, pulling it up and then the other, creating a space between her legs for him to settle between.

His body met hers at their most intimate of spots and stilled while he dropped onto his elbows, closing the distance between their bodies and she arched her back, pressing her chest into his and realigning her hips with his.

She opened her eyes and found his tear filled ones looking down at her with intense love and leaned up to capture his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck as she began sobbing again softly even as their tongues met and collided in loving exchanges.

He maneuvered one of his hands down the side of her body and aligned himself with her entrance, he thrust forward just enough to break her threshold, entering her slightly and moved his hand back up her body, enclosing her tightly between his arms and kissing her deeply.

Irina felt his length slide slowly inside her, filling her entirely while holding her tightly, his body surrounding hers completely. She gasped with need, love and pain, wrapping her arms around him more tightly wanting to be as close as humanly possible to him.

He arched his back to pull out slightly before pushing back in with the most gentle of strokes it brought more tears to her eyes. Her enveloping heat was comforting and welcoming to his heart ache and he felt her clutching him internally, as much as she was externally, trying to hold on to him, keep him as close as possible.

His body position moving above her extremely gentle and balanced to keep the pressure off and away from their babies inside her while still being as close as humanly possible.

"I need you, too." Jack whispered into her ear, burying his face into the crux of her neck nuzzling her scented skin and silky hair as the tears continued for both of them.

Irina wrapped her legs one at a time around his hips, pulling him more tightly against her and opening her up for him to push even deeper, connect even further. His body began to move more quickly inside of her with a renewed sense of urgency and he pant into her ear with each thrust while she cried softly, meeting his pants with small gasps.

She felt and heard he was close and closed her eyes, turning her face into his so that her lips were next to his ear and whispered, "I need you..." Holding on tightly when she felt the eruption inside her from his release and hearing his sharp gasp and cry in her ear he pulled her into the inviting darkness with him. She bit her lip hard to keep from crying out, and the physical pain was a welcome one, granting her a second of reprieve from the internal emotional pain she was already in. Her body quaked and trembled beneath his as he continued to pump until he was spent and moved his head to recapture her lips, surprised when the metallic sting of blood met his warm tongue as he trailed it lightly across her bottom lip.

His kiss deepened and then softened until their lips met with the barest of touches. He pulled away and sat up, pulling the blankets and sheets down the bed under her body and his own, crawling under and pulling them over both of their bodies.

She rolled over onto her side and away from him again, curling back into the fetal position with legs drawn up and one hand over her belly, the other arm held tightly against her naked chest feeling completely exposed and vulnerable.

When she felt his warm body press up against her, his strong arms encircling her softly and slowly, one hand sliding between the narrow space her own body position was creating to join her hand covering their babies, his face burrowing against her neck, softly pushing back her hair and dropping light kiss to the top of her shoulder then neck.

She lifted her arm against her chest allowing his to creep underneath it and pull her closer to him, settling her arm over his when they were as close as possible.

They both felt the babies moving and kicking beneath their palms and Irina's new tears hit the pillow, feeling the warm wetness against her neck as new tears fell from Jack's eyes as well.

The phone rang beside them on the nightstand and they knew it was Sydney calling. Irina reached over and gently removed the phone from its cradle, choking back her tears.

"Hello?" She answered in Russian, forcing the emotion out of her voice while still cocooned in Jack's embrace, her own body still pulled up into a tight ball and shaking slightly.

"_Mom!_" Sydney's voice was excited on the other end and Jack could hear her laughter with the close proximity his face was to Irina's ear where she held the phone. She babbled on excitedly for a few minutes about how much fun she and Vaughn were having and that they were going to be in Alexandria by morning and Irina was thankful her daughter did most of the talking as she wasn't sure how much emotion she could keep out of her voice in her upset pregnant state at the moment. She was happy to hear the happiness in her child's voice and wiped at the fresh tears that were now falling from her eyes.

Jack's heart skipped a beat when he heard Sydney suddenly ask how the doctor's appointment went today, waiting with baited breath to see how Irina was going to respond.

Without missing a beat, she closed her eyes forcing out new tears and replied in a happy voice, "They are both right on schedule according to Alexei as far as measurements go." She didn't want to tell Sydney what they'd learned and ruin the happiness she heard in her voice but she also didn't want to lie to her and prayed she wouldn't ask any direct questions.

"Did you get to see them again?" Sydney asked excitedly.

"Yes." Irina smiled softly, "They are both growing and as beautiful as ever. We have new pictures that I'll email to you tomorrow." She wiped at her tears and Jack pulled her tighter against his chest.

"We watched you make the announcement on the news tonight." Sydney giggled, "It seems everyone is as excited about the babies as we are. You looked so beautiful, Mom… definitely glowing!"

"Thank you, Sweetheart." Irina's voice almost cracked remembering how happy she was making the announcement just hours before her perfect little world came crashing down.

"I miss you… terribly." Sydney suddenly sobered; almost whispering into the phone though Jack still heard it and he closed his eyes, wishing his daughter was here, knowing how much her mother needed her right now.

"I miss you, too… terribly." Irina's face scrunched up in a silent sob, inhaling deeply and softly trying to regain control. "I'm glad you called and that you're having so much fun. I love you, Sydney."

"I love you too, Mom. Please give my love to Dad and Lena, smother her with kisses for me when she wakes up in the morning."

"I will, I promise." Irina smiled softly thinking about her beautiful babies.

"Goodnight, Mom." Sydney said her goodbye softly and with hesitance about ending the phone call.

"Goodnight, Sweetheart. Sweet dreams." Irina waited for the click and pressed End. Slowly returning the phone to its cradle and turning out the light before snuggling back against Jack, rewrapping her arm around his.

"Sydney sends you her love." She whispered after a moment of silence.

"I heard." Jack answered softly in a whisper, snuggling his own face closer against her warm skin. "I love you, Irina." His breath, tickling her ear and neck with each word.

"I love you, too." She answered as another large tear rolled over the bridge of her nose and fell to the pillow.

Irina started crying again and he felt her body shaking softly beneath his bringing a new wave of tears over the situation to his own eyes with the pain and fear in his heart for her for them and for their unborn child, but mostly for her and feeling her pain over the situation, knowing she was feeling guilty and helpless, scared out of her mind and flashing back to the loss of their first son and her guilt then, that she still carried with her now, at not being able to protect him, keep him safe; and now it was happening all over again in her mind.

Tomorrow was a new day, but tonight they would share in their pain and grief, holding tightly onto one another until the darkness passed.


	13. Chapter 13

**_AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Don't Worry Baby _by The Beach Boys_, Book of Days _by Enya_, The Beach Song _by Hans Zimmer,_ Zombie Nation _by Kernkraft400,_ Back in Black _by AC/DC_, And Then He Kissed Me by The Crystals, Wild Thing by The Troggs, Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel, Never Grow Old _by The Cranberries.**

**The magazine covers mentioned will be available on the _tumblr_ page for these stories: aliasabsolutionforeverandalways**

* * *

THIRTEEN

o

When Jack awoke in the morning, Irina wasn't in bed beside him. It was still early and judging from the feel of her side of the bed, she hadn't been there in awhile. His eyebrows knit in worry remembering her state last night and flipped back the sheet, jumping out of bed and going over to the dresser to pull on a pair of pajama pants. He felt exhausted, physically and emotionally after last night and yesterday as he opened the door and went to check on Lena.

To his surprise, the door was already slightly ajar and he heard the most beautiful sound coming from inside, Irina's laughter mixed with Lena's giggles and squeals.

When he pushed open the door further, he saw Irina sitting with knees bent off to the side, her upper body resting on one arm, across the room, looking over Lena lying on the big white fur rug, the sunlight streaming in on them and oblivious to his presence.

Irina leaned forward and began rapidly kissing Lena all over her neck, face and body making her squeal as Irina smothered her with kisses, making them both laugh. She scooped her up and continued to plant a million kisses all over her face and neck as she pulled her into her arms.

When Lena reached behind her with one arm towards Jack, babbling, "Dada, da-da."

Irina turned with a brilliant smile on her face.

"Good morning." She smiled, speaking softly, rubbing her cheek softly against Lena's pressed to her face.

When she woke up this morning she was still incredibly upset and worried about her unborn babies, but when she went to check on Lena and found her playing happily in her crib, standing up the minute she saw her and smiling, reaching for her and then kissing her with her now famous slobbery kiss, Irina just knew, felt it in her heart, that everything would be ok.

**_*Don't Worry Baby*_**

"Good morning." Jack smiled, happy to see her smiling and slowly sat down beside them, reaching forward with one hand to kiss her softly. _'She always had a way of bouncing back._' "What are you two, up to already this morning?" He reached over, running his hand over Lena's head.

"Getting smothered with her morning kisses from big sister Sydney by way of Mama." Irina smiled brightly, "On top of the ones from me of course." She nuzzled her face against Lena's cheek, her eyes locking on Jack's and holding his steady gaze for a moment in silence. Jack saw the change in her eyes and most notably, the absence of fear within them from last night.

"Don't worry, everything will turn out all right." Irina spoke in almost a whisper with a smile, the look in her eyes of certainty, obviously knowing something intuitively as their mother that he didn't and he trusted her, believed her, and let go of his own fear.

He reached out and ran his hand down the side of her face, nodding softly with a smile choosing in that moment with her, to concentrate on the 'good' for now, enjoy this pregnancy and worry another day.

They both were realists enough to realize that they couldn't just stop worrying because they wanted to, part of them would always worry, but they were making the choice not to concentrate on it, think negatively and instead, concentrate on the positives, the blessings in their live and the ones to come. The new day, had brought with it, new prospective.

Irina's eye darted to Jack's lips and slowly leaned in, his mouth met hers and shared a soft kiss.

* * *

_Twelve Days Later_

Irina leaned against the limo with Lena in her arms, watching as the Imperial Jet came to a stop just in front of them a few hundred feet. Lena was babbling excitedly and giggling in Irina's arms. Irina whispered into her ear in Russian, smiling.

"Your sister's home!" She pointed with her finger towards the jet where the door was opening and they waited impatiently to see the first sight of Sydney and Vaughn.

Lena started waving with her one tiny hand not clutched to Irina's neck with a smile, preparing for her sister, understanding the word 'sister' and that's all she needed to in her baby excitement.

So many things had happened in the last two weeks that Sydney and Vaughn had no idea of, though they were about to find out. Julian arrived home earlier in the day and now Irina anxiously waited to see her daughter. She had missed her terribly.

Lena started clapping immediately when she saw her sister step through the door and wave at them from the top of the steps with an enormous smile and glowing tan, Vaughn just behind her.

Sydney's eyes were already glistening with tears at just the mere sight of her mother and sister waiting for them at the bottom and started rapidly descending the stairs with an enormous smile. When she reached the bottom she sucked in a sharp breath seeing how much her mother's belly had 'popped' since she last saw her and more tears surged forth.

Irina's eyes were as teary as Sydney's and she held up her hand with a smile, telling Sydney and Vaughn to _'stop and stay where they were'_ much to their surprise. Sydney had been prepared to launch herself into her mother's arms upon arrival.

"What is she doing?" Vaughn asked with a curious smile as they both watched Irina whispering into Lena's ear. She smiled and squatted down, setting Lena on her feet on the tarmac with an enormous smile.

**_*Book of Days*_**

Sydney gasped, tears running over her cheeks and covered her mouth in shock with one hand when she saw Lena take her first step towards them and then smiled brightly and came charging forth on tiny legs, heading straight for Sydney, almost running.

"Oh my God!" Sydney gasped crying with a smile, squatting down to Lena's level and scooping her up when she made it to her, all giggles and smiles. "You're walking! Oh my God, Vaughn!" She stood kissing her sister with surprise and looking to her husband with astonishment, seeing it in his eyes and smile as well. "I can't believe she's walking!" She cried.

Irina couldn't take the separation any longer and walked the remaining distance, smiling and throwing her arms around Sydney, kissing her with tears coursing down her own cheeks, she closed her eyes and let out the breath it seemed like she'd been holding in since Sydney had left two weeks ago.

"Welcome home. I love you." She stepped back and kissed her with a smile and then Michael.

"I can't believe she's walking! And so well!" Sydney cupped the side of Lena's head with a smile, pressing her little cheek to her own in a big hug. "When did this happen?"

"Two days after you left." Irina smiled, proudly, brushing Lena's cheek thinking about it. "Your father and I were playing with her in the nursery just after she woke up and she crawled across the rug, stood up holding onto her little table, smiled and took a step, let go and kept coming straight towards me with a smile." She laughed softly, "We were just watching her in shock. We didn't breathe until she wrapped her little arms around my neck and then we just looked at each other in astonishment that she'd just walked across the room to us. She's been going, going, going ever since!" Irina laughed at the way her youngest had literally 'hit the ground running.'

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sydney smiled, with a stricken look on her face; obviously upset she missed such an important event in her sister's life. "I've talked to you everyday on the phone since then!"

"Because I didn't want you to feel badly on your honeymoon about missing her first steps." Irina gave them a sympathetic and apologetic smile, "And because I wanted to see your face when she came charging into your arms." She laughed softly as did they, happy that she had Dmitri recording it with the video camera from the opposite side of the car.

"I just, can't believe she learned to walk while we were away." Sydney shook her head with a sad smile, nuzzling Lena's hair and kissing her tiny hands.

"She was so close when we left, Sydney." Vaughn gave her a small smile, understanding why she was a little sad they'd missed it as he was feeling it too.

"And… listen to this." Irina smiled with an arched eyebrow, knowing they were about to be stunned again. "Lena," she addressed her baby, standing right next to Sydney holding her, "Who is this?" She asked her in Russian, cupping Sydney's cheek softly.

Lena turned her head, following her mother's finger to look at her sister's face and Sydney held her breath, in disbelief. Lena arched her eyebrow in the way that made them laugh and smiled widely.

"Nee-nee." She giggled and Sydney gasped with a smile.

Irina had figured this out when Lena reached for the photo of Sydney on her nightstand, adamantly calling out '_Nee-nee_,' stretching her little arm and fingers until Irina let her hold the frame.

"And who is this?" Irina reached her hand out to cup Vaughn's face gaining Lena's attention.

Lena looked at him with the same curious eyes and smiled.

"My-my." She reached for Vaughn, holding her little arms out to him until he took her from Sydney.

Both Sydney and Vaughn in shock, looking at her with smiling eyes. She couldn't say 'Sydney and Michael' but she certainly knew who they were and got part of the pronunciation correct, which was rather astounding for a ten month old.

Sydney just shook her head in amazement, "I can't believe it! She's changed so much in just two weeks!" More tears flooded her eyes, and she grabbed Lena's hand to kiss it again, "She's calling me 'Nee-Nee!" She laughed, "And you 'My-my!" She moved her hand to cup Vaughn's cheek when his smile widened. "What else has she learned?" Her eyes went back to her mother's, smiling.

"Well, she definitely knows '_Da-da'_ now, and as Julian found out this morning," Her smile widened remembering his similar reaction when Lena came charging towards him, "She knows his name…"

Lena heard 'Julian' come out of her mother's mouth and immediately smiled, chanting her brother's name. "Jue-Jue!"

"And there it is!" Irina laughed, running her hand over Lena's head softly. "She also calls Katya, '_Ah ah_." That one made them all laugh, "And Dmitri '_Me Me_." She smiled across the top of the limo to Dmitri who was leaning against the car with a smile, "Marcelo is just too hard for her still, so she just holds out her arms and squeals for him." She laughed.

"I can't believe she's really starting to talk now… and walk!" Sydney smiled, still shaking her head in awe. "She's learning everything so rapidly now… it's amazing."

Irina smiled with pride and laughed when Lena laid her head on Vaughn's shoulder, snuggling her face into his neck and under his chin, clutching his neck with her little hand, obviously missing him too.

"I've asked your mother to start speaking to her only in French now, so she is exposed to it too, now that her language skills are starting. We want her to be fluent in as many languages as she can…" Irina was about to ask when Vaughn read her mind.

"I'll do the same. " Vaughn smiled, speaking in French, leaning his cheek onto the tiny little girl's head.

"Thank you." Irina smiled at him softly, loving her new son-in-law's perceptions. "Katya and Marcelo are speaking to her only in Italian now, Dmitri, Mikhail and I, continuing in only Russian, and your father and Julian in English." She smiled at Sydney, loving the fact that her 'family' spoke so many languages fluently to be able to expose and teach her baby without the use of Project Christmas training.

"Well what do you want me to speak to her in?" Sydney asked with a smile, excited about the fact that they were all going to have a part in teaching Lena, the 'future Tsar of Russia,' so many languages. "I've got thirteen languages and several dialects to choose from." She giggled, nuzzling Lena.

"Whatever you'd like, Sweetheart." Irina brushed Sydney's cheek with her fingers, just enjoying 'looking' at her after not seeing her face for two weeks. She felt her eyes welling with tears and immediately stepped forward to grab Sydney into a hug again. "I'm so happy you're home. I've missed you so much."

Sydney had called her only twice in the middle of the night after awaking from horrendous flashback dreams from Kashmir and cried into the phone, only comforted by Irina's soothing voice and reminder that she was 'ok.'

The daily phone calls, had otherwise worked. Sydney had actually opened up a little bit more to Vaughn one night about what had happened after getting off the phone with her mother, a little calmer now and was able to talk to her husband. She told him how she was feeling when it happened, mostly the things to her mother, and some of the things she still struggled with still, perhaps always would.

Vaughn held her when she cried, crying along with her at the viciousness of the evilness inside Cuvee and what they had gone through, understanding on a new level, even more, why Irina and Sydney 'needed each other' then and now to survive this, get through it and keep going. He understood, just as Jack, that there were just some things, that they as their husbands couldn't 'help' them with no matter how much they wanted to, because this was something between a mother and daughter.

In the end, Vaughn was 'there for her' in his understanding of 'why' she needed her mother, missed her, and listened when she needed to tell him the 'why.'

"I missed you too, Mom. So much." Sydney cried again, smiling and hugging Irina tightly, "Thank you so much for the wonderful honeymoon."

"Yes, thank you, Irina." Vaughn added smiling, at them hugging.

"You're both very welcome." Irina pulled back, smiling and wiping her tears with one hand, holding tightly to Sydney's with the other.

"I can't believe how big you've gotten in the last two weeks!" Sydney smiled looking down excitedly and placing her hand over her mother's belly that seemed to have doubled in size. With Irina's incredibly thin frame, the baby belly was really showing now carrying twins.

"I can't either!" Irina laughed, running her hand over her belly bulge underneath her thin form fitting black sweater. "I look in the mirror every morning and shake my head in wonder." She smiled, laughing softly, "And your father keeps reminding me I'm having twins!" Her heart skipped a beat feeling Nicholas kick beneath her hand, remembering the news that she and Jack were going to be breaking to the three tonight after dinner.

"While you're definitely bigger then the last time we saw you," Vaughn smiled, running his hand over Lena's back in soft circles as the baby fell asleep, "You still look pretty tiny to me." He gave her a bashful grin, "For having twins."

"Ok, now you sound like Alexei!" Irina laughed, hearing the same thing from her doctor and friend yesterday.

"How did the doctor's appointment go yesterday?" Sydney asked excitedly with a smile on her face, yet to release her mother's hand.

"It went well." Irina gave them a soft smile, not wanting to get into it now while they were standing on the tarmac and knowing she was going to need Jack by her side to break this news. "Right now, we should get going! Dinner is ready and waiting!" She tugged on Sydney's hand with a smile and Dmitri opened the door for them, hugging Sydney and shaking Vaughn's hand to welcome them home.

* * *

When dinner was over, Irina and Jack had managed to get Sydney, Vaughn and Julian into the living room to talk without them being aware.

Dmitri had brought them all tea and Jack now sat on the end of the couch, turned slightly with Irina leaning back against him, his arm draped lazily over her shoulder and Lena sleeping against her chest, her little legs already having to 'spread out' around the baby belly her mother was sporting.

Julian was in the big leather chair on the other end of the couch and Sydney, sitting on Vaughn's lap was in the other, on the end nearest them.

They began with idle chit-chat about the honeymoon, India, Ash and then Lena's new milestones before breaking into the news that would undoubtedly leave them all in tears. Sydney gave them the perfect segue way when she asked again, about the recent doctors appointment and the progress of the twins.

"They are both right on schedule," Irina gave them a small smile, feeling the emotion welling inside her already, "A little small but Alexei said that was normal in this case." She sighed heavily, taking a deep breath and fingered her hair behind her ear, looking down and bit her lip a moment nervously.

"What's wrong?" Sydney asked immediately, noticing the sudden change in both of her parents, the way Irina sighed and looked away, her tone, the way her father seemed to sense her mother's distress and kissed the back of her head as if encouraging her. "What aren't you guys telling us?" She paused feeling her heart speed up, "Or rather… what are you 'trying to tell us?" She looked quickly to Julian and back, realizing now why her aunt and uncle 'excused' themselves just after dinner, leaving her parents alone with them. Even Dmitri, who was normally around, had disappeared.

Irina swallowed and blinked hard, trying to force back tears that would not be stopped. She quickly moved her finger to the corner of her eye to wipe the tear before it fell, licked her lips and took another deep breath before facing her daughter's all-too perceptive gaze.

"A couple of weeks ago, just after you all left, your father and I got the results from Alexei on the amniocentesis done on Nicholas and Nadia." She said rapidly and softly, pausing to inhale another shaky breath and locked eyes with Sydney, already spotting tears there. Her daughter had no idea what was wrong, only that something was. "We found out that Nicholas has Hemophilia." Her silent tears fell down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away, trying to give a small smile.

Julian, Sydney and Vaughn all sat with wide-eyes, holding their breath and staring at Irina in disbelief as tears pooled in all their eyes.

"Like Alexei?" Sydney asked barely above a whisper, terrified as her world came crashing down around her at the thought of losing another brother… possibly sister too, if something went wrong in the pregnancy.

"Yes and no." Irina gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her. Irina had been researching feverishly and learning with Jack everything they could about the type of Hemophilia their son had in order to be informed and prepared. The more they learned, the easier they breathed, having less fear of the 'unknown.' What they learned about the disease was still terrifying but armed with knowledge they felt more in control, more prepared.

"Yes, he has the same type of Hemophilia as Alexei did but no, in that, the way they treat Hemophilia now is much better and safer then when they were treating my uncle. A great deal more is known about the disease now and there are teams all over the world researching it and finding ways to treat and potentially cure it, including the University in Moscow." She gave another small smile, blinking back fresh tears, trying to remain positive and not scare them anymore then they already were. Irina knew that the Medical University, had been researching the disease like many others but now, with a son being born as a Hemophiliac and a daughter as a carrier, its research held her full attention. For the last two decades she had been studying DNA sequences, disease and treatments for the purpose of Rambaldi and now, she would pursue the same things for Hemophilia.

"If he has Hemophilia, doesn't that mean his blood doesn't clot? And the smallest injury can cause internal bleeding?" Vaughn asked softly, swallowing hard with tears in his eyes at the prospect of what this meant for the baby.

Irina nodded softly, blinking and a lone tear escaped down her cheek.

"Yes, but if he receives treatments of the blood factor he's missing, which is _Factor XIII_ on a regular basis, that shouldn't be too much of a problem." She informed them softly, and Jack ran his hand over her arm.

"Well when can he start getting this Factor?" Sydney asked rapidly as fresh tears coursed down her cheeks, her heart pounding in her chest with fear. She knew by the look in her mother's and father's eyes, they were both struggling to show a calm exterior when inside she saw the pain and fear they were trying to hide, even from themselves.

"When he's born." Jack added softly, managing to control his tears and blink them back and give her a small reassuring smile.

"Yeah but what about until then?" She asked panicked, wiping at her tears stinging her face. "The risk to him? To Nadia? To Mom?" Her eyes darted immediately to her mother, afraid for her as well.

"Alexei assured us that they are both safe and healthy right now, protected inside your mother." Jack placed his hand over Irina's residing on her belly, offering them another small smile. They were asking the same questions, worried about the same things that he and Irina had been and still were.

"And Mom?" Sydney inhaled a shaky breath, her fear for her mother on high alert now, knowing she was already high-risk before this for multiple reasons.

Julian's heart was pounding for the same reasons, too stunned and scared to say anything and thankful Sydney was asking all the questions he wanted answers to.

"I'm ok, Sweetheart." Irina smiled at her through her own tears, touched once again by her concern. "I was already a High-Risk, so not much will change in how I handle this pregnancy from the last." Irina ran one hand over Lena's back while the other stayed on her belly. "No more physically heavy workouts or running, I have to eat twice as many calories, and… I'll be having a C-Section." She added the last one softly with a shy smile, seeing the immediate flash of alarm in all three pairs of eyes.

"Why?" Sydney shot back at her with the expected rapid fire.

"The process of labor and squeezing through the birth canal are already traumatic for the baby and there is a risk, with babies who have Hemophilia, of inter-cranial bleeding during birth…" Irina answered, swallowing hard and speaking in her most soothing motherly-tone trying to calm her children's fears and keep her own at bay. "It's a risk Alexei, your father and I don't want to take so we decided the safest route was by C-section."

The three sat once again in stunned silence as more tears formed in their eyes hearing and really realizing, just how serious this was if the baby could die during birth.

"Try not to worry." Irina gave them her best smile; even with unshed tears in her eyes. "Alexei said that my pregnancy is going beautifully and he has no reason to believe it won't continue to do so. Everything will be ok."

"And they both got the same tremendous DNA and heart that you and Lena inherited from your mother," Jack smiled brightly, trying to ease the tension in the room, "After everything the 'three' of you have made it through, I have no doubt that these two will as well!"

Sydney finally gave them a small brief smile though tears still pooled in her eyes, all of this overwhelming. "You found this out almost two weeks ago. Why didn't you tell me? Us?" She motioned between the three of them just hearing the news, "When you talked to us on the phone? We would have come home immediately." Her voice quivered having an idea of how terrified and upset her parents, especially her mother, must have been when they first found out, because of the way she was feeling now just finding out.

"Exactly why we didn't tell you." Irina answered quickly in her teacher tone then softened with a shy smile. "You were on your honeymoon," She smiled at Sydney and Vaughn, "And you were finally spending sometime with Ash," She looked at Julian with the same smile, "We didn't want to interrupt such happy and well deserved vacations for the three of you."

"Mom…" Sydney looked at her, using 'that' tone that suggested none of that was important.

"Sydney." Irina shook her head softly, looking down and re-fingering the same offending hair behind her ear again in her nervousness. Truth be told, she had desperately wanted to tell her children and have them come home, so she could hold them in her arms and tell that she loved them. But that would have been for her sake, not what was best for them.

Sydney didn't wait for Irina to finish, understanding her loving motherly heart and why she didn't tell them, 'wanting them to have their happiness even as her own world was crashing down around her… she wanted her children to be happy for as long as they could.' She bolted from the chair and dropped to her knees, sliding into the front of the couch and immediately incasing her mother in a hug, careful of Lena.

"I love you and I'm here for whatever you need me to be or do. We all are." She answered for the other two knowing they would be as well, closing her eyes and inhaling her mother's scent as tears fell silently down her cheeks. She pulled back and smiled at Irina, reaching out to wipe her mother's tears the same time Irina reached out to wipe Sydney's causing them both to laugh slightly with smiles.

Sydney placed both palms against her mother's belly, staring at it for a moment, feeling the warmth radiating from her body and the movement of the twins within. She smiled softly and dropped two kisses, one to each side, gently moving her hands over the expanse.

"Thank you." Irina lifted her chin with her fingers, smiling.

Sydney returned her fantastic dimpled grin before sliding over to embrace her father, kissing his cheek and holding onto this neck tightly.

Vaughn stood, smiling at Irina softly wiping his own tear trails and sat down softly beside her, slowly wrapping his arm around her, carefully pulling her into a soft hug, kissing her cheek as he pulled back and Irina pegged his with one of her own, already accepting him as another 'son,' before it was legal. "Whatever you need." He looked into her beautiful dark eyes and held her gaze, knowing he meant it with everything in him. Hesitantly, he reached out and placed one palm over her belly, feeling the babies moving beneath and smiled softly. Somehow feeling the life inside her moving and thriving, helping to ease their worries. He ran his thumb gently over her sweaters surface, continually surprised and awed by the fact she was pregnant and life was growing inside her, the firmness he felt beneath his hand contrasting with the soft glow she seemed to be emitting.

Irina smiled, seeing the love and caring in his eyes, the continued awe and kissed his cheek softly again before he pulled away.

"Thank you."

Julian stood and wiped the tear tracks off his own face, walking slowly to stand in front of Irina and knelt down, dropping all the way to his knees in front of her and beside Sydney on the floor, who was leaning against the couch now, with her arm propped up holding her head next to Jack.

Irina looked at him softly, feeling fresh tears in her eyes seeing the fear in his eyes and with every nervous breath. She held Lena to her chest with one arm and reached out for him with the other, pulling him to her for a hug, holding him there and then kissing his cheek.

Julian pulled back and looked down to her belly, his eyes darting back up to Irina's. She nodded at him softly with a smile, seeing his nervousness and giving him encouragement. He had never felt them moving and kicking inside her yet. He'd never touched her pregnant before in his life; never touched any pregnant woman's belly before and now he was terrified.

**_*The Beach Song*_**

Very gently and hesitantly, he placed both palms to her belly, spreading his long fingers out and immediately surprised to feel how strong and active both babies were inside, his eyes flashing back to hers with a small smile of surprise and wonder. This was all still very new to him, Irina pregnant, feeling the actual life moving inside her. It was the most surreal experience of his life thus far. When he looked back up into her beautiful brown, smiling eyes, shining with tears at experiencing a first with him; both of them feeling the kicks inside her together, he felt something he'd never felt before, an instantaneous deep love, for two little people he hadn't even met. He turned his head, lowering it softly to Irina's stomach with his hands still on each side. He felt their movements and kicks and heard Irina's steady heartbeat. His smiled widened and grew with the joy of a little boy written all over his face in absolute fascination and wonder.

Irina couldn't stop the tears, silently making their way down her cheeks, nor the radiant smile blazing across her face. She moved her free hand rest over the top of his head, lightly running her fingertips against his blonde hair.

When he felt a sharp kick to cheek he couldn't stop the childish laugh that escaped causing her to laugh softly with him.

Sydney, Vaughn and Jack were all transfixed watching the interaction between the two and couldn't help the smiles tugging at the corners' of their mouths seeing the monumental moment happening before their eyes, seeing yet another layer of Julian exposed and revealed as another barrier had been crossed and came crashing down.

"This is amazing!" Julian smiled radiantly, speaking slowly, his voice filled with awe and wonder, his head still against her belly and looking right at Jack, Sydney and Vaughn.

Sydney's smile brightened as she nodded right in front of him, agreeing and seeing the 'awe' all over his face and in his voice; knowing what that felt like.

"Wow…" Julian smiled, speaking in almost a whisper.

Irina's eyes met Jack's and shared a knowing smile; her eyes continuously filling with new tears and he could see how much this moment meant to her as well. Their family was finally coming together. Jack motioned for Vaughn to get the camera off the shelf of books and couldn't stop his own radiant smile looking at Irina, with Lena asleep against her chest, her little legs spread out of her mother's torso, Julian's head and hands pressed against Irina's belly, her hand covering his head and the other on Lena's back, radiant smiles on both their faces. This was definitely a moment to capture and remember forever.

When Julian turned his head and placed a soft kiss to her belly, Irina couldn't stop the small gasp of emotion from escaping and the flood of tears; she pulled him back up to her, holding him tightly with one arm.

"I love you, Julian." She whispered into his ear with a smile and small laughter.

"I love you, too, Mama." He closed his eyes, smiling and relishing in her embrace. "I love you, too."

* * *

"Vaughn," Sydney addressed him softly, turning over on her side as he climbed into bed and closing the _People_ magazine she was reading about their wedding.

"Yes, my beautiful wife?" He pulled the sheet and blanket up over them, smiling as he dropped a kiss to her lips before snuggling against his own pillow facing her. "Wow, you look gorgeous in this photo." He smiled radiantly, picking up the magazine between them, "Did we get copy?" He set it down again and quirked his eyebrow seeing she was obviously nervous about something.

"Yes. The photographer gave us several copies." She answered quickly, then gave him a small smile, taking a deep breath before, "I wanted to talk to you about something." She approached the subject hesitantly.

"I wanted to talk with you about something, too." He smiled.

"You did?" Sydney asked with a surprised smile, moving in closer to him. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"You don't want to go first?" He asked laughing softly, entwining their legs. Both exhausted after their flight home and then the emotional news about the baby.

"No, you go first." She giggled softly with the dimple grin he loved so much.

"Well, I was thinking about what we talked about on the yacht," He picked up her hand and held it with his own against his pillow, playing nervously with her fingers. "About where we were going to live now…"

Sydney's heart began to beat rapidly in her chest, just about to talk to him, concerning the same thing.

"And…" She asked cautiously, hopefully, fearfully.

"And I think… that the best thing for us to do right now is, stay here." He smiled seeing her eyes widen and the smile immediately lighting her face, "And keep our place in Los Angeles like your parents."

"You do?" She asked breathlessly, squeezing his hand, "I mean this is what I wanted to talk to you about too!"

"Yes, I do." Vaughn smiled, never believing a year ago that he would be volunteering to live under Irina Derevko's roof with her husband, as one big happy family in Russia. "Especially after tonight… hearing about Nicholas," His smile faded softly, and saw immediate tears pooling in her eyes, "I think your parents could probably use the extra help now that they will have three babies and one with special needs on top of ruling a country."

"Oh my God! Yes!" Sydney bolted upright and rolled onto his chest with an enormous smile through her tears, elated he was on the same page, "I was thinking the same thing but I didn't know how you'd feel about it? Feel about living with them and three babies, Julian plus Katya and Marcelo! And I really don't want to live on the other side of the world and miss anymore of Lena's growing up or the twins, I mean, God! Vaughn, look how much we missed… how much she changed when we were gone only two weeks!" She rambled, more tears coursing down her cheeks even though she was smiling, "And my Mom…" She drifted off thinking about how hard it would be to live apart from her now too, with so much left to catch up on.

Vaughn smiled, knowing exactly how she felt and wiped the tears from her cheek, "I can see how happy this makes you, and that's all I want for you, Sydney, to be happy. I know you're not ready to separate from your Mom and Dad, after just getting them back into your life and I feel the same way about Lena, and now the twins, as you do. I don't want to live on the other side of the world from them either. We're closer to my family here and I really want to learn more about my Russian heritage, more about my dad." He smiled, cupping her face, as excited about this idea as she, "And my parents are just a quick plane ride away to France when we start having kids, they'll love that."

"I'll love that." Sydney smiled talking softly as more tears flooded her eyes hearing him speak of their own children. "All our family together…" She dipped her head to kiss his lips. "I love you; thank you." Her eyes dripped warm tears onto his cheeks, holding his face in her hands.

"You don't have to thank me." Vaughn smiled, brushing the tears away once more, so happy, 'she was so happy' the smile reaching her beautiful eyes. "I love you and I want this for you, for us, as much as you do." He pulled her face to his, capturing her lips between his.

She brushed her nose softly against his then giggled madly, "I can't wait. I have to go tell them now!" She rolled off him quickly, bouncing off the bed and practically running for the door making him sit up and laugh, she was so excited, happy. "I'll be right back." She waggled her eyebrows at him making him laugh again before disappearing out the door.

* * *

Irina climbed into bed with Jack, laying her head over his chest, one arm draped over his waist, his arm around her shoulders, holding her to him in their favorite sleeping position.

"My god, you're beautiful." He looked at the cover photo and kissed her head, just finishing the magazine article, in the latest Russian magazine about their family. The major announcement of Irina's pregnancy, Lena's achievement in walking, Sydney's honeymoon and Julian's connection to Ash.

"My girls and my son, all on one cover." He smiled, running his thumb softly over the naked exposed skin of her bicep.

Irina couldn't stop the smile from gracing her face hearing him not only say, 'my girls' but 'my son.' Her family was really and truly, finally coming together.

"And your niece and nephew." Irina added, smiling and tracing patterns on his chest through his t-shirt.

"Yes," Jack chuckled, "An entire issue on Romanov children." He paused, and nuzzled his face into her hair with a smile. "Have I told you today, how much I love you?"

"Yes, I believe you have but go ahead and tell me again." Irina purred in Russian and laughed, turning her head and propping up on one elbow to look at him, her fingers' moving to trace his jaw-line.

"I love you so much… my heart clenches, every time I look into those beautiful brown eyes of yours." Jack smiled, whispering back in Russian and brushing the long lengths of wavy hair off her face, pulling her head down gently to kiss her lips.

They separated when they both heard the soft knocking on their door; a knock they knew belonged to Sydney.

"Come in Sweetheart!" Irina smiled calling out and moving from her position, back to snuggle against his chest, her eyes glittering when she saw Sydney standing shyly in the doorway when she opened it.

"How'd you know it was me?" Sydney asked curiously, fingering a piece of her long hair over her ear with a smile looking at her parents all cuddled up together and so at peace.

Jack put the magazine down and smiled in amusement with Sydney's question and the cute way she was standing awkwardly in the doorway like a little girl.

"I'd know that knock anywhere." Irina smiled thinking about how Sydney's knock hadn't changed from the time she was six to twenty-eight when she was seeking entrance to her parents room; motioning with her fingers for Sydney to come closer and sit on the bed. "What can we do for you, Sweetheart?" Her smile brightened in the soft-lit room when Sydney sat down on the edge of the bed, curling one leg under the other.

"Well uh… couple of things actually." Sydney fidgeted nervously and Jack had to smile, as it was something else Irina had apparently passed onto Sydney. "Vaughn and I just made a decision about where we've decided we want to live." Her eyes flitted nervously to them.

Jack swallowed hard and he felt Irina stop breathing against his body, both nervous to hear the decision, both fearing the decision.

Sydney's eyes latched onto her mother's and saw the torrent of emotions just beneath the surface, the threat of tears waiting to fall if not the answer she knew her mother was hoping for. "We've decided were going to live in LA," Sydney paused dramatically gauging their reactions until she saw the tear fall from her mother's eye and heard her small gasp, "Part of the time... as you do, and live here with you the rest of the time." She finished smiling radiantly and was surprised at the speed of which her mother launched herself upright and grabbed her, engulfing her into her arms crying happy tears of relief.

"Oh thank God!" Irina gasped, holding Sydney tightly, smiling and kissing her head repeatedly, Sydney giggling softly feeling her mother's obvious excitement and relief over the news.

Jack was smiling widely with happiness and the same amusement, chuckling softly seeing Irina's reaction.

"So it's ok then, if we stay? The offer is still open?" Sydney asked smiling, relieved to be in her mother's arms again after the two-week separation.

"Of course its ok! Can't you tell?" Jack laughed, nodding towards Irina still holding Sydney in a death-grip of a hug with her back to him.

"Absolutely ok! Better then ok! Some of the best news I've ever received in my entire life!" Irina kissed her head again, pulling back to cup her face and smile brightly through her tears. "I'm so happy, Sweetheart. I've wanted my entire family under one roof on a permanent basis for so long. Thank you." She pulled her forward again, hugging her madly and giggling with excitement.

"Thank you, the both of you, for letting us stay." Sydney giggled back, smiling at her father over her mother's shoulder. "We decided we couldn't think of any other place we'd rather be than with our family. 'Home' is wherever you are." She added softly and squeezed her mother more tightly.

Irina closed her eyes, smiling and taking a deep breath trying not to cry any further upon hearing the declaration.

"I love you, Sweetheart."

"I love you too, Mom." Sydney kissed and pulled back, holding her mother's hands in hers, "Which brings me to my second thing…" Her eyes twinkled with mischief, as her smile widened and her voice softened with hesitation. "Can I snuggle with you for a minute? I missed you so much while I was-"

Irina leaned forward rapidly, kissing her with a radiant smile, "Of course. I will never pass up an opportunity to snuggle with you!"

Sydney's dimples deepened to impossible depths hearing her mother's reply and then looked down to her father, "I think this time… we should share Dad."

Jack's mouth dropped open slightly in shock through his smile, hearing Sydney's request and it took him a minute to recover.

Irina's eyes and smile lit with delight seeing his stunned reaction and how much she knew it meant to him to hear Sydney say that, want that.

"Great idea, Sweetheart." She smiled, and turned around, leaning over to drop a soft kiss to Jack's lips, holding his gaze in understanding for a moment before resuming her position, snuggling down against his shoulder, tugging on Sydney's hand to join her.

Sydney smiled shyly at her father and crawled up, dropping her head to kiss his cheek softly.

"Thank you Daddy, for letting us stay. I love you."

Jack felt his heart skip and bounce inside his chest, trying to force any tears from coming to his eyes as he smiled in response.

"I love you, too." He opened his arm and Sydney laid down next to him, snuggling her head into the opposite shoulder of her mother and smiled happily when her father's arm closed over her shoulder, holding her like this for the first time since she was little. She giggled looking over at her mother, smiling radiantly when Irina clasped her fingers with hers over Jack's heart.

Jack lost the battle and felt the tears welling in his eyes with the feeling of both of them, in his arms, snuggling together like this for the first time in more then twenty-two years; Sydney on one side, Irina on the other, his arms around both. He was a happy man in that moment. He kissed the top of Irina's head and then Sydney's, content to just hold them while they chatted softly in Russian; something else he adored about their time in Russia was hearing Irina and Sydney conversing her native language.

"And Michael's ok with this arrangement, too?" Irina asked softly with a small smile, wanting to make sure he was comfortable with the idea as well.

"Yeah! Vaughn's as excited about this as I am." Sydney smiled brightly, playing with her mother's fingers, snuggling her face into a better position against her father. "After realizing how much we missed in just two weeks with Lena, he doesn't want to live on the other side of the planet and only see her every few months either, or Nicholas and Nadia." She smiled seeing how this news lit her mother's face into a bright smile. "We don't want to miss out on watching them grow up and knowing them… and we don't want you guys to miss out on watching our kids grow up, either."

Irina's eyebrows shot up, amused, "Sweetheart, are you trying to tell us something?" She quirked her eyebrow, teasing and heard Jack's heart beat speed up beneath her ear, she laughed softly.

"Mom!" Sydney giggled and blushed, knowing her mother was teasing. "You know what I meant! In the future."

Jack released the breath he didn't realize he was holding and closed his eyes, sighing.

"Just checking." Irina gave her a mischievous smile and small laugh hearing Jack's sigh and remembering the _Immaculate Conception_ grandchildren talk they had.

Sydney stayed for about five minutes snuggling and chatting with her parents before she realized how long she'd been gone. "I guess I need to extract myself and return to my husband before he starts to wonder where I've gone to." Sydney sighed with a happy smile, pushing herself up onto one elbow, leaning over her father to kiss Irina goodnight first, and then Jack. "Goodnight and I love you." She smiled at them when she stood beside the bed. "Thanks for letting me snuggle." She giggled.

"Anytime Sweetheart and we love you too." Irina kissed her fingertips with a smile, blowing her a kiss, "Goodnight."

As soon as the door was closed behind her, Irina sighed happily, snuggling further into Jack's arms with one hand caressing her very active babies. "You're still in shock aren't you?" She asked Jack, laughing softly when he remained absolutely silent.

"About which part? The part where she actually wanted to share 'me' with you, snuggling against me for the first time in twenty-two years? Or when you suggested she might be pregnant... or just now, when she said she was returning to her 'husband,' something I still can't get used to her saying?" Jack rambled on quietly with a smile in a mixture of happiness, slight panic and stunned awe.

"How about all of the above?" Irina laughed softly.

"Yes, I'm shocked over all of the above." He smiled, laughing softly with her and wrapping both arms around her.

* * *

**_*Zombie Nation*_**

_Los Angeles, California - Dodger's Stadium_

"I can't believe this! Look at this crowd!" Vaughn smiled, looking around to the tiers of packed seats above them and surrounding their seats. "This is insane! I've never seen the crowd like this before here, ever!" He bounced Lena on his knee, decked out in her most adorable pink Dodger's outfit that Weiss had gotten for her. The baby's eyes were wide and she was looking around and giggling, waving at everyone around them.

"Gee, I can't imagine why?" Weiss laughed nervously, looking down the aisle smiling at the gorgeous women down the line.

The entire Imperial Family along with Weiss, Carrie and Marshall, Dixon, Chase and his children, the Peterson family and their kid's friends, Kendall and Barnett, Vicki Crane, Devlin and Karen, Will, Mikhail and Bella, and the entire cast of the films and their families along with JJ and the Producers, were all present at the last home Dodger's game of the season against the Angel's.

An entire section of seating had been blocked off for them with their large numbers as well as for security measures and the crowd was going nuts, clamoring to get views of the famous faces.

The first film had been holding steady in the Number One spot, breaking worldwide box office sales since its release and the next film was premiering the following night, which is why everyone was in town and part of its promotion was tonight's game. J.J. had decided he '_just couldn't'_ sacrifice any more of the film, the real story, to the editing room floor and so, a fourth and final film in the series was born.

The public went bananas with excitement when they heard this and Miramax was overjoyed thinking about the possible revenues of four films this magnitude. The final film set to release in January.

"It's been years since I've been to a baseball game." Sydney laughed excitedly, tickling Lena and making her squirm in Vaughn's lap. Life in the world of espionage these last few years had not afforded her such chances for fun. The last game she attended was with Danny, Francie and Charlie.

"The last baseball game I went to was when Michael was in _Little League_." Mikhail smiled down at his son, remembering with fondness, his little boy, the image that had carried him through the last two decades.

"The energy in here right now is just incredible." Judy smiled, looking around astonished; the entire crowd singing along with the song excitedly while the players warmed up.

"We've never been to a Dodger's game, only the Yankee's." The beautiful actress Lena smiled over at Weiss her accent tinting her words and mesmerizing everyone.

"_Argh!_ Don't say that word in my presence!" Weiss pretended to plug his ears making the beautiful Swede laugh. He was almost as smitten with her, as he was with Irina.

"Ah, the Yankees!" Ben waved his hand with a smile in disgust of the name, "I'm all Red Sox love!"

"Well tonight, we're all Dodger's fans! There ain't no Angels love here! _Think Blue!"_ Weiss laughed taking the baby, from Vaughn and bouncing her in his own lap, clapping her hands together as she danced her baby jig making them all laugh.

"Well, my son is loving this," Lena nodded towards him down the row with a smile. "All the girls from UCLA." JJ cocked his eyebrow smiling and they all laughed seeing the college girls fawning over and surrounding the handsome young Swedish man.

"I just have to say this, my goodness is that man gorgeous." Judy smiled to Ann and Sophia looking down at Dwayne otherwise known as '_The Rock_,' and the other women both smiled and nodded with the same appraising looks.

"And he's so sweet!" Sophia gushed, "Like a big loveable teddy bear!"

"Teddy bear? Are you kidding me?" Weiss looked at her then to the massively muscular man smiling, "He's called, '_The Rock!"_ He laughed, "I'm just waiting for him to break out that Dodger's jersey and start slamming people around like he did when he was wrestling!"

"He is very sweet, though; a true gentlemen. I've loved working with him." Lena smiled and Jack felt his stomach do a flip-flop in his gut looking at the man playing _Dubey_ in the films, and then at the woman portraying his wife.

It was rather eerie the uncanny resemblance that this actor had to the real man, and Lena to his wife, for that matter. He knew the scenes in this next film would no doubt be gut wrenching to watch.

"Yeah, they got the casting on that one right. Well, as far as looks and body go but I don't know about that '_gentlemen part_." Weiss cocked his eyebrow at the man the women were all drooling over remembering Dubey's encounter with Irina in Jakarta.

Irina took a deep breath and smoothed her hand over her belly and the form fitting, lightweight, black sweater covering it. The crowd was absolutely thunderous around her and she watched nervously as the players took their positions around the field.

"Are you ready, Your Majesty?" The pitcher smiled at her, ushering with his hand and a smile towards the field.

**_*Back In Black*_**

The crowd went ballistic with the first notes of the familiar song and all eyes darted towards the dugout where Irina, in black, was walking onto the field with the pitcher. She couldn't stop the laughter and smile hearing the unexpected song announcing her entrance and waved, smiling brilliantly in every direction as she made her way to the mound.

"Bloody hell, this is hysterical!" Collin, the man playing Jack in the first film, laughed whistling and looking down over at Bridget, smiling as the two made this old song recently popular again by portraying the 'laundry room goodbye' between Jack and Irina in the first film.

Jack just smiled and shook his head laughing and burning bright red, as everyone reached over to slap him on the back, all of them laughing hysterically at the song choice used to announce Irina.

The crowd was loving it, standing on their feet and going nuts seeing the famous Russian Tsar so close, in Los Angeles, her other home, pregnant for the first time _LIVE_ and watching as she prepared to throw the first pitch of the last game of the season.

Irina took the ball from the pitcher and tossed it in the air, catching it with one hand, before tossing it again, electrifying the crowd and making her laugh. She smiled dangerously, motioning down to the catcher.

"Well, it looks like she's taking this pitch seriously." The announcer laughed, broadcasting the game, "And the full-capacity crowd of 56,000 is going nuts for it!"

Irina inhaled, smiled her beautiful Cheshire cat grin at the pitcher and tossed the ball into the air once more, the moment it landed in her hand she had launched her arm forward with the speed and precision she was used to throwing knives with, smacking the glove dead center across the plate and clocking in at 94 mph sending everyone into loud shrieking hysteria to see a pregnant Tsar throwing as fast and precise as a Major League pitcher, using only one hand.

"_Holy shit!"_ The announcer threw his arms up stunned, his mouth open and smiling at the other astonished people in the booth.

"And that my friends, is why she's so deadly with a knife!" Weiss howled with laughter, whistling and bouncing Lena in his arms. "Cheer for Mommy!" He crooned in her little ear while she clapped her hands, giggling with excitement.

Irina turned and winked at the dumbfounded pitcher standing beside her and waved with one hand, the other covering her belly the entire way off the field.

"Wow." Judy gasped, smiling and clapping watching as Irina left the field and the first batter took the plate. Seeing yet another astonishing aspect of this extraordinary woman first hand.

"Yes, wow." Lena clapped beside her, "I've never worked as hard physically, in my life, than I have on these films portraying her. She's just beyond extraordinary." She shook her head in constant wonder of the woman she'd gotten to know so intimately while working on these films about her life. The two were already fast friends.

When Irina and her security team made their way back to their seats the crowd around them erupted in another standing ovation.

"That was bitchin,' Your Majesty!" Weiss high-fived Irina excitedly, laughing when she moved to her seat next to him, taking Lena out of his arms when the baby reached for her. "If that whole Imperial Tsar thing doesn't work out, I think you have a career in the Majors waiting for you!"

**_*And Then He Kissed Me*_**

"That was… _wow_, Honey." Jack smiled widely, cupping her cheek and kissing her lips proudly.

The crowd went loud again, hearing the song announcing the '_Kiss Cam_' making rounds throughout the stadium, showing various couples kissing for all to see.

"You like that?" Irina laughed, kissing him again and the entire stadium 'awed' loudly when their kiss was broadcast on the Jumbo-tron screen.

The first crack of the bat set the game in motion and when the players ran off the field on the third out in the fifth inning, the kissing camera returned to the Imperial section, this time focusing on the newlyweds, Vaughn and Sydney, then Lena and Lasse and finally landed on Kendall and Judy, who looked positively petrified until the loud, cheering of encouragement from the stadium occupants spurred Judy to grab his face and kiss him right on the lips, making everyone in their section howl with laughter and applause. They were all having immeasurable amounts of fun, drinking, laughing and enjoying the game with its exciting homeruns.

The babies were extremely active within Irina with all the noise and excitement and she reached over and grabbed Weiss's hand at the bottom of the sixth inning, placing his hand over her belly surprising him and watching has his eyes got wide feeling the strong kicks beneath.

"Holy crap! Feels like you got kangaroos in there!" He gasped in his slightly intoxicated stage making her laugh. He was in Seventh Heaven, quite possibly the best night of his life and dancing wildly with glee as another double was hit to left center.

"You'd better go now." Irina cupped the side of his head, leaning over whispering into his ear so closely, her breath tickling his senses and making him shiver. "Go ahead." She smiled urging him to go and giving him her 'weak at the knees' smile for encouragement in their own private secret.

"Where's he going?" Vaughn asked as both he and Sophia turned to Irina watching Weiss's retreating form.

"Too many beers, I think." Irina shrugged with a smile, "He has to use the bathroom." Suggesting with a laugh.

"I'm going to start calling him, 'Tiny Tank." Vaughn laughed, "I swear, wherever we go, he always has to 'go!"

"Alright people… time for the _Seventh Inning Stretch!_" The announcer called out as the last out left the bag.

The Jumbo-tron camera started zeroing in on people again, with most of them doing funny things that made everyone laugh and then once again came back to the most interesting section of seating, this time stopping on Sophia who had no one to kiss as Weiss had left the seat beside her to pee, so she just shrugged with a beautiful smile, making everyone laugh.

**_*Wild Thing*_**

"Oh God, he isn't," Vaughn gasped hearing the first chords of the song and then hearing Weiss's voice coming over the loud speaker.

All their eyes darting to the field where Weiss was walking out and singing to Sophia in the stands, with picture portrayed on the Jumbo-tron.

Sophia gasped, covering her mouth in shock watching as Weiss walked towards her, singing his heart out and bringing the crowd to their feet with enthusiastic cheers.

"Oh my God, he is!" Sydney immediately started crying when they saw him jump over the small railing separating them from the field and kneel in front of Sophia, holding a ring on the end of his finger, broadcast for everyone to see, continuing to sing.

"Wild thing…" He sang one last time, his eyes already full of happy tears seeing hers, "Will you marry me, Sophia?"

Katya gasped along with her daughter, tears running down both their cheeks as well as every other woman in their family.

"Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!" Sophia squealed excitedly and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him madly as the Jumbo-tron flashed a big 'YES!' under their onscreen kiss bringing about a thunderous round of applause from everyone, even the players.

"I can't believe he just proposed to the Grand Duchess of Russia at a Dodger's game… while singing '_Wild Thing_." Kendall shook his head, bewildered and yet smiling at the same time, clapping. "Its just so… _him_." He finally concluded, realizing from what he'd known about Weiss, what a fanatic he was about the Dodger's and this was the perfect setting, for him to ask.

"Congratulations!" Vaughn slapped Weiss on the back as he hugged him, everyone around them congratulating them. "You just sang '_Wild Thing_' and proposed in front of an entire stadium on National television!" He laughed, amused and elated for his best friend. "How in the hell did you just pull that off?"

"Helps to have inside connections." Weiss nodded over at Irina who was smiling madly as any proud 'mother' would. "And a few beers to calm my nerves." He smiled, laughing as he hugged Sydney incredibly happy.

The group couldn't stop their excited chatter and smiles as the game continued, everyone thrilled for Sophia and Weiss on their engagement and the amazing proposal that was certainly memorable.

At the bottom of the ninth, the 'Kissing Cam' came back to their section to get the newly engaged couple kissing, causing everyone to 'awe' loudly again at how insanely sweet Weiss kissed Sophia.

**_*Mrs. Robinson*_**

"Oh my god," Ryan whimpered, covering his eyes when he heard the first notes of the song and the entire stadium started singing along, the camera zooming in on Irina enough to include her former and quite possibly still, smitten student.

Their section died in laughter, including his own wife sitting next to him when the 'Kissing Camera' refused to leave without a kiss from 'Mrs. Robinson' and her former student.

Irina laughed at the antics of the crowd and announcers, having a wonderful time with her family and friends and had learned to accept, the world now saw her as the new 'Mrs. Robinson' after the film; she was used to dealing with pressure and deflecting it while Ryan on the other hand wasn't.

She felt slightly bad for him, seeing him blush madly, embarrassed and covering his eyes trying to slink down in his seat for giving her this somewhat 'eternal' nickname now. She flashed her eyes to Jack and he was laughing hysterically as the entirety of Dodger's stadium was singing along to the song, nodding at her to go ahead and Irina shrugged, turning around and walking towards Ryan while the crowd began to go nuts seeing her move towards the man.

'_Payback was hell…_' Irina mused with a dangerous gleam in her dark eyes and a smile on her face.

Ann was in hysterics and pulling on his arm for her husband to stand up, seeing Irina approaching with her beautiful grin. She stopped beside Ryan and pulled on his other arm, helping Ann in bringing him to his feet while his own children cheered loudly, behind him.

Irina smiled at him, tilting his chin up and leaned in, placing a soft kiss to the side of his mouth eliciting sharp cheers from the singing crowd. She broke out into laughter seeing Ryan's ears and cheeks burning bright red when she pulled back, laughing harder when Ann grabbed his face and planted a big kiss on his lips, stunning him further as he wasn't prepared for that on top of Irina's kiss.

When she returned to her seat, Jack cupped Irina's face and kissed her once more, still laughing at the song playing in the background and Irina's further humiliation of Ryan, giving him some payback for the nickname and maybe a little reward for saving her life after her execution.

The game ended with a Dodger's win over the Angel's and the crowd going nuts again when they brought Gagne out to close.

* * *

Jack rolled over in the morning and smiled, seeing Irina was still fast asleep. Her hand curled up by her face and hair spilling wildly down her back, the sheets twisted haphazardly around her body. He was tempted to kiss her awake and stopped him self, smiling as a better idea came into his head.

Carefully, he extracted himself from the bed and slipped out of the door into the hallway.

**_*Never Grow Old*_**

When he reached Lena's door, he could hear his baby playing quietly in her crib and smiled as he opened the door. Her little face smashed in between the bars of her little cage to see who it was and giggled in delight when she saw it was her Daddy.

"Dada da-da!" Lena babbled excitedly pulling herself to stand and reaching with tiny arms out of the crib, opening and closing her hands anxiously waiting for him to come pick her up.

"Hello Peanut!" He whispered with a big smiled, reaching in and picking her up, snuggling her against his chest and inhaling her baby scent. "Good morning!" He kissed her little face and neck.

Jack always loved getting her out of her crib in the morning; she was well rested and happy as could be with all smiles and giggles and his favorite part, very snuggly.

Lena immediately curled into his chest, grabbing onto his neck with one tiny hand and bury her head in the crook of his neck. He walked with her to sit in the rocking chair, with one hand under her little bum and the other protectively across her back as he sat down.

They rocked quietly together for a few minutes with Lena rubbing her little hand softly back and forth over his neck and Jack rubbing his large one over her little back. He couldn't tear the smile from his face resting his chin against her downy soft baby hair.

Lena pulled back, as she always did after a few minutes of quiet and gave him a brilliant toothy smile that melted his heart every time.

"You're so beautiful." He smiled, kissing her neck and making her giggle.

"Mama," Lena called out, her eyebrows arching in thought and Jack laughed seeing the immediate look of determination in her eyes as she wiggled against his arms for him to put her down.

As soon as her little footy-covered pajama feet hit the ground, she spun around with wild abandon and headed straight for the door on fast little legs. She was already to the open door before he got out of the chair, her tiny hands pulling on the big wooden door and smiling up at him with 'thanks' when he opened it further for her to go through.

"Go ahead." He motioned for her to go with a raging smile on his face, "Go get Mama."

The word seemed to recapture her intentions and she toddled forth down the hall towards their bedroom door. She paused, hanging onto the doorframe and waited for her Daddy to catch up and push this big door open for her too and Jack had to stifle his laugh at the impatient look she gave him.

"Mama," Lena called out again as if telling him to hurry up; she wanted who was on the other side of that door.

Quietly he pushed open the door and smiled at his beautiful wife still asleep.

Lena made it to the edge of the bed and bounced impatiently with arms stretched upwards, fists digging into the sheet, her eyebrows knitting together in frustration that she wasn't able to pull herself all the way up.

Jack's eyebrows shot up when he saw her lift her little body off the ground with her mighty little strength and quickly rushed to her side to help before she fell and started crying. With one hand under her little bum, he helped her climb up with a push and watched the raging smile and tiny giggle that escaped from her when she saw Irina lying in front of her.

"Mama!" She giggled excitedly and crawled rapidly across the bed towards her mother.

Irina heard the call somewhere in the fog of her mind and slowly opened her eyes, smiling brilliantly when she saw her baby crawling towards her with the cutest little smile. She closed her eyes again, playing the game with Lena that was now familiar to both of them and Jack laughed, reaching for the camera and capturing it.

Lena stopped crawling just in front of her mother with a curious look and then slowly lowered her little mouth onto Irina's cheek giving her a slobbery opened mouthed kiss, little hands clutching her neck and making Irina burst out laughing and Lena giggle in response.

"Well, hello, my Sweet Girl." Irina greeted her with a smile, opening her eyes and laughing as Lena clapped at waking her mother. "What a beautiful thing to wake up to."

"She's getting closer to pulling herself up into bed." Jack laughed, flopping back down on the bed again with a smile. "I can't believe how strong she is." His hand ran down Lena's back with a smile before leaned over and greeted Irina with a kiss. "Good morning, Beautiful."

"Good morning." Irina threaded her hand into his hair and pulled him back for another kiss.

Lena lay down beside Irina who took advantage of that fact and pulled her baby closer into her chest, snuggling her as her daughter's attention was immediately captured with the locket on her neck that always held her attention.

Jack turned onto his side, laying his head on Irina's hip and smiling happily watching the two. His hand moved up to cover her belly and ran gently over it.

"Good morning Nicholas. Good morning Nadia." He whispered, greeting his unborn babies and smiling widely when he felt them both move to the sound of his voice. "I can't wait to see them and yet," His thumb caressed back and forth over the satiny fabric covering her body, his eyes looking up to meet Irina's, "I don't want this to end, knowing this is the last time." He sighed with a sad smile at the thought of this being the last time she would be pregnant.

"I know, me too." Irina reached one hand down, running it softly through his hair with the same smile. "I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts." She paused for a moment in thought, thinking about the last time, "I'm glad you're here with me this time." She added softly with a knowing smile.

"Me too." Jack smiled, kissing her belly and then moving his hand to pick up one of Lena's little feet, thinking about the fact he missed all of this with her. His heart felt heavy with the reminder as it always did and he moved up onto his elbows and crawled up the bed to lie beside Irina, cocooning Lena between them.

They lay quietly for few moments, each lost in their own thoughts and smiling at Lena who was now lying on her back, giggling and holding onto each of them with one hand, kicking her feet up into the air.

Irina knew what today was, what tonight was… and what that meant. Tonight, her family would see exactly what she was doing in the twenty-one years she was absent from their lives, and she theirs. A terrifying and nerve wracking thought on both fronts.

"Jack," Irina addressed him softly, looking over Lena's little head to meet his eyes; her face still snuggled against the white pillow. "Tonight, I just… if you start to get upset with what you're seeing… please remember this moment," Irina looked down with her fingers lightly brushing through Lena's hair, their baby lying between them in bed, "And how much I love you." She swallowed hard with tears building in her eyes with fear at his reaction.

Jack's heart immediately clenched in his chest, looking into her eyes and seeing the tears, the fear over his reaction to what he was going to see on the film on many levels. He nodded softly against his own pillow, dropping a kiss to Lena's little fist currently flying around in front of his face.

"And you, too. Remember how much I love you. This isn't going to be easy on either of us, I know that." He swallowed hard thinking about her watching his own sexual adventures during their separation and watched the lone tear streak down her face. "But this is the only thing that matters now… us, you and me and our family." He reached over and wiped the tears from her cheek softly, his eyes piercing hers. "I know you love me, Irina. I don't doubt that for a second and no matter what I see, what I learn that I didn't know before; I'm still going to love you tomorrow. I've never stopped loving you. Just channeled it into hate because of the hurt but I've _always_ loved you." He was resounding what they already knew to be the truth, but saying it over and over never hurt especially in times when they knew dealing with the past was going to be difficult.

Irina inhaled a shaky breath, offering him a smile and leaning forward to capture his lips with urgency, needing to feel him and him her…resound that love.

"As I you, Jack. As I you…" She kissed him again softly, her hand cupping the side of his face, "I love you."

They both laughed softly through the tears when Lena started buzzing her lips and wiggled between them.

"You know what I'm most nervous about seeing tonight?" Jack smiled over at her, laughing softly when Lena began to climb up and on his chest.

"Hmm?" Irina asked reaching over to finger Lena's foot with a hesitant breath.

"All the insanity you survived. The multiple attempts on your life. That's what I'm most nervous about." Jack smiled at her.

Irina laughed softly, releasing the held in breath and moved in closer to press herself against his side, her head tucked into his shoulder as they both looked up at their beautiful baby perched on his chest and bouncing with delight.

Tonight's revelations of what exactly happened during those years apart would be eye opening in many ways.

* * *

_**AN: The next chapters dealing with 'The missing 20 years' are some of my most favorite chapters EVER written. The characters, the music, the emotions and the actions... You're goign to want to listen to the music for those chapters if you usually skip it. The lyrics and songs play such an important part just as they would in any 'film.' I'm excited to re-post and read again as well! So get ready!**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**AN: Some of my most favorite chapters have just begun. And they are detailed and LONG, so hold on and enjoy! You really WANT to listen to the music as you read these! Trust me! You can find most of it for free on youtube if you don't have it already :) If you can't find them all, find as many as you can or you'll really be missing out on the 'feels' here!**_

_**Music of this chapter (on repeat): Stranger in Moscow **_**by Michael Jackson**_**, Fond Memories **_**by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack**_**, Nara **_**by E.S. Posthumus,**_** Exit Stage Right by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS soundtrack, He's Got the Look by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, Like Toy Soldiers (Instrumental) by Eminem, Do What You Have To Do **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, Sing, Swing, Sing by Benny Goodman, I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday, Moonlight Sonata (piano) by Beethoven, Dirty Little Secret by Sarah McLachlan, The Approach by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, In Dreams by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack.**_

* * *

_FOURTEEN_

_o_

_Los Angeles, California- Absolution Part II. Film Premiere _

Jack adjusted Lena sleeping against his chest and looked over at Irina who was staring seemingly off into space as they waited for the film to begin. He glanced down at her hands rubbing circles over her belly through her dress, obviously nervous and seeking comfort. With one hand against Lena's back, he reached over and carefully threaded his hand under Irina's, catching her eyes with a smile when he threaded their fingers.

Irina couldn't stop her heart racing in her chest and smiled when she felt Jack's warm hand slip into hers, knowing exactly what she needed. Sydney was once again on her right and Jack on her left and she inhaled a slow deep breath as the lights went down and the slogan of _Miramax_ came onto the screen.

The black screen once again announced, _"The following film is based upon actual events_" before fading into picture.

**_*Stranger in Moscow*_**

It was summer in Moscow and according to the date on the bottom, 1984, about a year after Irina's release from prison. The camera panned down from St. Basil's cathedral and dollied through the crowd in the Red Square where Lena, _as Irina_, suddenly came into view, running on the sidewalk in the early morning hours. Her long hair was pulled up into a tight bun, the strict regimen of military discipline obviously back into her life. Her eyes were hollow and showed no emotion as she continued to pound the pavement, running hard like a machine on autopilot.

When she ran through a group of small children in uniform on their way to school, the audience held their breath waiting to see what reaction would come out of Irina after Kashmir; and when she ran around the edge of the group of laughing children without blinking, as though she hadn't even seen them, everyone tried to swallow the massive lump in their throat realizing just how '_different_' this woman was from the film they'd last seen, before she was broken.

As she continued to run towards the Projects, a mass of apartment buildings, the camera angle pulled back so that she was still in view though now the audience was watching her through the windshield of a car, two KGB agents obviously assigned to 'watch her,' tail her and report back to their superiors.

Irina pulled open the run down buildings front door and slowed her gait to walk up the many flights of stairs.

The building was loud with complete chaos surrounding her, babies crying and people screaming in Russian at each other in arguements, people sitting on the steps smoking and laughing, and some passed out drunk that Irina navigated through with the same expressionless face, while others looked at her and immediately scrambled to get out of her way.

She reached her apartment, stepped inside darting through the tiny one room space, obviously occupied by at least four other people.

Sydney gasped softly with unshed tears seeing the living conditions of a failing Communist Russia, where all property had to be divided and shared, nothing was private.

Another slightly older woman was in the kitchen preparing breakfast and smiled softly at Irina when she saw the beautiful brunette stripping off her sweat soaked clothes, and setting them in a small pile at the end of her single twin bed.

_"Colonel Derevko." She called out softly to Irina, with a smile and Irina turned to look at her slowly, the new rank still sounding foreign to her ears. _

_"I am going to make my egg, would you like me to boil yours as well?" She held up the daily-allotted egg that each of them, were allowed to eat in the food ration. _

_"Fried please, Tasha. Thank you, Comrade." Irina nodded at her slightly before turning back and continuing to strip off her clothes on the way into the one bathroom. _

_When she disappeared behind the door and turned on the stinging cold water, she closed her eyes facing toward the showerhead and let her head fall forward, resting against the cold tiles for a moment before starting to wash. _

_When she emerged, she dressed rapidly in her uniform and averted her eyes when she flashed by the one mirror in the apartment, obviously not wanting to look at herself. She grabbed a few more articles of clothing out of her small dresser and stuffed them into a single black bag. _

_"Going out of town on another assignment, Colonel?" Her roommate asked across the small space seeing her Comrade packing. "You are rarely ever here these days." _

_"Yes, but not on assignment." Irina zipped the small bag, her face revealing nothing, walking towards her and taking the egg and folded into a single piece of dark bread from her outstretched hand. _

_The quirked eyebrows the woman gave her in surprise weren't lost on Irina. _

_"I have weekend-leave, to attend a funeral in Leningrad." She took a bite of her sandwich and fingered a stray hair behind her ear. "Thank you for the sandwich."_

_The woman nodded and looked down, flipping her own egg in the black frying pan. _

_"I will be returning on Sunday, but only to retrieve my things," Irina offered her quietly and the woman's eyes darted to hers, "I'm being relocated." _

_"Moving up, ah Colonel?" She smiled, "I am happy for you. New promotions mean better accommodations." Tasha looked up at her softly, still trying to find some kind of smile in Irina's face. "Perhaps this means you will only have two roommates, instead of four." _

_Irina's only response was a slight nod, one corner of her mouth turning up into a slight smile and Tasha smiled widely at getting the slightest reaction from her. _

_The truth was, living in this kind of accommodation was part of her probationary period, which had just ended. If not for her time in prison, a mission overseas as 'successful' as hers was considered to be, would have immediately warranted her an immediate promotion to the rank of Colonel. _

_Irina's was withheld as part of her punishment until her probation was over. Now she was finally being considered less-suspect and more deserving of the rank and the status it brought._

_"Da Svidanya Colonel." Tasha called after when Irina moved towards the door. _

**_*Fond Memories*_**

_As soon as Irina entered the hallway in uniform, people immediately parted from her creating a wide space for her to walk, obviously intimidated by the fact she was a KGB officer of substantial ranking. _

_The dark hollowness in her eyes and the fact she almost never spoke to anyone, only adding to the fear and mystery surrounding her. She stepped outside and paused momentarily with the sight at the end of the sidewalk, the black car and the two agents holding the door open. _

_"Colonel." Was all the blonde man in the dark suit said and Irina slid into the back seat silently, staring out the window while the car drove away. When the car stopped just outside Lubyanka, KGB Headquarters in Moscow, Irina stepped out of the car and walked past the guards who saluted her on the way by. _

_"You wanted to see me, Comrade Khasinau?" She stood in front of his desk, arms to her sides, fists clenched at attention with the same blank stare. _

_"Yes," He whirled around in his chair and smiled warmly at her, "I heard that you were taking leave this weekend to attend your cousin's funeral." _

_"My cousin's wife, Comrade." Irina corrected him bowing her head slightly and Khasinau gestured her to sit in the chair before his desk. _

_"Ah yes, Major Lazarey's wife Julia, correct?" Khasinau reached over and poured himself a small glass of vodka, a knowing smile tugging on his lips. "She was Irish." He looked up her with a cocked head and leaned back into his chair. _

Julian swallowed hard in his seat, and shifted his weight hearing about his birth mother, remembering vaguely the time frame surrounding these events.

_"Yes, that's correct." Irina nodded onscreen. _

Sydney couldn't believe the 'life-less' mother she saw on screen, a shell of the woman she was before, and was now again.

_"They have a child?" He asked, regarding her carefully in her reaction, always studying her. _

_"Yes, a son Julian. Their only child." She answered him, betraying nothing of her feelings. "Pytor is sending him to Boarding School in London." _

_"I can imagine that would be difficult, for a single father to raise a small child while working full-time in our line of business." He smiled, twirling his glass and purposefully goading her to see if he couldn't get any kind of reaction over his insinuation about Jack and Sydney. "It's easier to just, send them away." _

_"I'd imagine." She agreed with him, staring back at him without a trace of emotion on her face and Khasinau smiled happily, obviously happy with her 're-education.' _

_"Your probationary period is over, Irina, you have cleared all Security Clearances and I am very happy with your performance over the last year. You've already created quite the name and reputation for yourself." He smiled, tapping on her folder sitting in front of him, "I always had high hopes for you, and I'm proud to say I'm not disappointed in your delivery. As your reward for being such an exemplary agent, you've been given your own apartment near the Kremlin." He pushed a set of keys towards her with a smile. "All of your things will be moved there for you today." _

_The gesture of 'kindness' was actually a way for the KGB to search through her belongings making sure she had nothing 'suspect.'_

_"Thank you, Comrade." Irina smiled slightly and nodded, accepting the keys with the first real smile they'd seen out of her._

_"There is another matter to take care of while in Leningrad." He pushed another file towards her and she picked it up, the smile immediately dissipating from her face as she flipped it open, already knowing what it was. "He's already been in contact with British SS agents, ready to provide them with our Intel in exchange for defector status." Khasinau sat back against his chair once more, eyeing her carefully as she read over the file. "He is planning defection for tomorrow evening. I need you to take care of the matter… and send a message."_

_Irina scanned the pages and committed the information to memory. She closed the file and pushed it back towards Khasinau nodding, "Understood." She paused, "Anything else, Comrade?" _

_"No, that is all. My condolences on your loss." He smiled, nodding and releasing her from his sight. _

The juxtaposition over the fact that Khasinau had just given Irina orders to assassinate someone and gave her condolences just after, haunting and eerie to those watching the film.

* * *

The film cut to Leningrad, where Irina was setting her scope on her sniper rifle, dressed completely in black and focusing in the dark on a man standing under a street lamp, nervously smoking a cigarette waiting for the light to change in a desolate part of the city.

_Looking through the crosshairs of her sight, she lined up his forehead and held her finger on the trigger. _

**_*Nara*_**

_When a black car pulled up slowly to the curb and she saw her target moving to open the door, she squeezed the trigger and shot him between the eyes. His body fell backwards to the pavement and the car squealed away immediately into the night as the few below on the street screamed and ran inside, knowing it was a KGB hit and reminding them of what happened to traitors. _

Everyone in the theatre gulped as they watched her emotionless face packing up her gun and disappearing into the darkness.

Ryan and Ann Peterson's mouths were hanging open in shock with tears in their eyes seeing for the first time, their beloved professor in action as an assassin. Realizing what they'd just seen on film, wasn't just a movie, but happened in real life.

The message Irina was sending for the KGB, was one that she had also learned with distinct clarity in Kashmir_: 'there was no out, death was immanent to traitors.'_

The next scene flashed before them, the following morning where Irina stood in uniform around the grave with several other people as the priest read the last rites to 'Julia Sark Lazary.'

Katya made her first appearance as an adult and stood off to the side from Irina, staring at the sister she hadn't seen for almost fifteen years, half of her life.

Their eyes met briefly once, before Irina looked away in obvious shame, knowing by now, how her sister felt about her _traitorous status_ upon her return that resulted in their mother and ultimately father's deaths.

_Irina's mind flashed back in time with the reminder to a place she hadn't allowed herself to go since she was in prison and her heart clenched painfully in her chest when her eyes fell, hauntingly black and dull on the little blonde boy with tears streaking madly down his face. _

_Katya's eyes filled with unshed tears; not for the fallen woman being buried but for the living ghost she saw before her in the beautiful woman she had once known to be so full of life. _

_It started raining and the gathering of mourners began to disperse with everyone walking away quietly and Julian's father, walking away with them, patting the boy on the head briefly before leaving the five year old to stand before his mother's grave, watching as they lowered her casket into the ground. _

_No one else seemed to notice the small child left standing alone except Irina who was too paralyzed to move with tears stinging her eyes at the sight before her; realizing that this was exactly the same situation her own child had been faced with… She closed her eyes trying to block out the images and stood perfectly still. _

_Katya had walked away, blinking hard at the tears in her eyes, rapidly trying to escape her sister's presence and stopped suddenly by a tree, turning around slowly to look back. _

_When the tiny hand reached up and slid into Irina's, her eyes immediately flashed open and looked down to see Julian staring up at her with his big blue ones, tears coursing down his cheeks and looking helplessly lost into her own eyes, taking comfort in the one person 'who'd stayed.' _

_The tears immediately came surging forth from her eyes in the rain, looking down at him and her hand slowly closed around his tiny fingers. _

_Katya's hand flew to her mouth, leaning against the tree watching the_ _exchange while it began to downpour, and knew in that moment, the impossible choice her sister had made, what she left behind and what was now lost to her forever and she wept for the first time in complete understanding._

_Irina inhaled deeply, on the verge of sobbing if she stayed any longer and gave Julian a slight nod with a soft smile, squeezing his hand once before letting it drop and rapidly turning on her heel stalking away as fast as possible towards the car. _

_Katya watched her go, watched Julian stand there alone with tears running down his cheeks watching her go and she couldn't stop the rampant tears, turning rapidly and getting into her own car. _

The camera picked up with Irina practically running into her hotel room and dropped immediately at the end of her bed to the floor, leaning back and pulling her legs up, burying her head in her arms and sobbing for the first time in over a year at her loss.

Her wet hair having fallen out of her tight French twist now spilling in wild curly waves down her back and her body shivering in the soaked clothing and the camera began pulling back, making her look so small and alone.

Everyone in the theatre had tears in their eyes if not rolling down their cheeks watching the heartbreaking exchange and changes occurring within the three.

Sydney immediately reached for Irina's free hand and squeezed offering her mother silent support as her own tears raged down her cheeks, barely able to breath.

* * *

_London - Four Months Later_

Julian could be seen sitting outside on the curb, in his little school uniform. His red tie pulled angrily down from his neck, and face resting on one little fist. Hot tears were running down his cheeks and brightly colored leaves of autumn tumbled by at his feet.

_Irina was watching across the street in a black car. He was so little… so small, and just as alone as she was. She took a deep breath with her hand on the door handle and stepped outside, folding her arms over her chest as she walked slowly towards him. _

_She heard him sniffling as she approached and cocked her head to look down at him when she stopped a few feet from him. His little head turned up to look at her with a surprised then confused look. _

**_*Exit Stage Right*_**

_She held his baby blue eyes for a moment and gave him a small smile, extending one hand. _

_"Come on." She spoke in English for the first time in three years and swallowed hard with hand suspended. Cautiously he reached his hand up and took hers. _

_"No more tears, Julian." She instructed softly with a stern undertone and a nod and he quickly wiped his eyes. She held his hand until they crossed the street and let it drop as they got into the car. _

_His tiny little body struggled to get the big door open and she watched him while he finally managed on his own, realizing she wasn't going to be helping him, and pulled the door closed behind him with a triumphant smile and Irina gave him a small smile and nod before the two drove off. _

_"Irina," the little boy asked timidly from where he was trying to sit up tall to see over the dash, "Where are we going?" _

_"Back to Moscow." She answered, swallowing hard and not looking at him before shifting to a higher gear. "You're going to live with me now." _

_"With you?" His little eyes got big with a hopeful sparkle. _

_"Yes." She nodded, and looked anywhere but at him in the car. _

_"But my father sent me here," He creased his eyebrows in confusion. "Because no one wants me…" The taunting of the children at school reminded him of that everyday. _

_Irina's head whipped to his, holding his intense little gaze for a moment before having to turn away again. _

_"No one wants me either…" She added softly with her own admittance staring straight ahead and little Julian's eyes went wide, "We'll make good roommates." She looked back at him with a small smile and watched as a brilliant one lit his face, knowing he was no longer alone and neither was she. _

Jack squeezed Irina's hand with a soft smile, bringing it to his lips, realizing fully now, just how _little_ Julian was when she started taking care of him and why he was in everyway, _her son_… she had raised him.

_The two took a flight to Stockholm and from there to Moscow. It was late in the evening by the time they'd arrived back at Irina's apartment. His tired little legs practically drug with each step as he followed her into a bedroom with a big bed against the far wall. _

_"You can sleep in here tonight." She began speaking in Russian again and turned on the lamp, setting his school bag in the chair. _

_"Is this my new room?" Julian asked sleepily and easily switching languages, yet still with wide eyes looking around. _

_"This is my room. We'll get your room ready tomorrow." She answered quietly, folding her arms nervously in his tiny presence. _

_"If I'm sleeping in your bed… where are you going to sleep?" He asked as any small child would. _

_And Irina sighed, remembering this stage with Sydney and her incessant questions and her heart clenched painfully in her chest with the thought, something that was definitely seen in her eyes and reaction. _

Lena was doing a fabulous job with her acting, speaking volumes without saying a word as to the torrent of emotions Irina was going through.

_"I don't sleep." Irina answered softly and watched as he simply stared at her response. _

Jack, Sydney and Katya's tears surged forth once more at the declaration, knowing painfully well _why_ she didn't sleep.

_"Come now. It's late." Irina nodded at him softly and quickly turned, with unshed tears in her eyes, blinking them back rapidly. "Goodnight."_

_"Irina..." He called out, standing beside the massive bed, fidgeting nervously when she turned back in the darkened doorway. "I don't have any clothing to sleep in." He looked down at his uniform, the only thing besides his book bag they'd brought with them. _

_Irina looked at him a moment before walking over to her dresser, pulling open a bottom drawer and pulling out one of her t-shirts and handing it to him on the way by. _

_"That will work for tonight. Tomorrow we'll go shopping and get you some things of your own." She paused briefly by the door and closed it softly behind her, closing her eyes immediately on the other side and taking a deep calming breath. _

_She collected herself and stepped into the large dark apartment and turned on a light as she entered her kitchen. _

_Being a High-Ranking KGB Officer and deadly assassin had its perks. She was given her own spacious apartment to live in without having to share with anyone. She was about to start training the first class of KGB Project Christmas children and Julian was going to be one of her pupils. _

_It was the only way the KGB would allow her, to let him live with her. His father didn't care and told her, if 'she wanted Julian, he was her responsibility from then on.' He was tired of dealing with the troubled child and never cared much for fatherhood anyway. _

_Irina made herself some tea and sat down, leaning back against the couch with her head propped up in the dimly lit atmosphere and began reading where she'd left off in her book. She heard the creak of the bedroom door and the soft glow filled the room as Julian stood nervously in the doorway._

_Her red t-shirt with the Soviet Emblem blazoned across the front hung loosely around his little body and danced around his ankles. He looked impossibly cute with his curly blonde hair and big blue eyes._

_"Irina…" He fidgeted nervously, "May I have a drink of water please?" He asked with impeccable manners in a soft voice. _

_"Yes… you may." She sat up slightly stunned by the unexpected question and turned planting her feet on the floor once more, about to get up and get one for him when images of Sydney in one of her old Georgetown t-shirts flashed through her mind asking the same question and she was frozen. _

Every memory flash, shown just as that, onscreen to show the audience exactly what was going on in Irina's mind, what she was seeing, remembering.

_Julian just stood watching her a moment, not sure what he should do. He saw she wasn't moving and took a few small steps toward the kitchen, pausing to gauge her reaction, unsure, and then kept going. _

_He opened a few cupboards that he could reach and finally spotted the glasses, he stood on his tiptoes but couldn't reach them with his pudgy little fingers. Finally he gave up and closed the cupboard, walking back towards her room with his head held low. _

_The flash of red before her seemed to pull her out of her daze and her eyes snapped up to see Julian retreating. _

_"Did you get your drink of water?" She asked in a broken voice. _

_"I could not reach the glass." He shook his head and turned to go back in the room. _

_"Wait…" Irina closed the book and bounced off the couch, running her palms nervously down her thighs as she looked at him, then nodded towards the kitchen. "I'll get you a glass." _

_He followed behind her and watched with big innocent eyes while she filled the small glass with water then handed it down to him. She inhaled a shaky breath watching him hold the cup with two little hands and taking a drink and then handed it back to her with a smile. _

_"Thank you." _

_She could only nod, afraid to speak and watched him go back into her room. _

_She eventually fell asleep on the couch and practically flew off it when she awoke from a nightmare, panting and tears streaking down her cheeks from crying in her sleep. She calmed herself, wiping her tears and jumped into the shower, sitting down and crying as the water flooded over. _

_It had been three years since she'd seen Sydney. _

_With the shower off, she dried slowly and found her robe on the back of the door. She wrapped it around her tightly and made more tea. _

_Hesitantly, she paused outside her bedroom door and slowly turned the knob. _

_The soft light of the moon was coming in through her windows and illuminating his little body beneath the blankets and sheets in the_ _middle of the large bed, dwarfing his size that much more._

_One of his little hands was thrown up by his head on the pillow; the other tossed carelessly down by his side, one leg over the blankets and the other beneath. He was a wild sleeper like Sydney had been and the thought brought a brief smile to her eyes before tears. She stood watching him in the doorway with silent tears coursing down her cheeks before taking a few steps and leaning over him. _

_With the delicateness and care that only a mother could instill in her touch, she gently picked up his leg and pulled back the blanket, setting it down and then recovering him. She choked back a silent sob, and running her long fingers lightly over his little ones curling naturally towards his palm and she had to turn away, racked with pain. _

_Irina closed the door behind her and sat staring out the window until the sun rose in the living room. _

_When morning came, the two went shopping for everything that he would need, including a step stool so she would no longer have to 'help' him and make him as independent as possible... helping reminded her too much of being a 'mother.' _

_The two were trudging back up the stairs towards the apartment when a blonde man in uniform with piercing blue eyes smiled at her. _

_"Well if it isn't 'the girl next door!" He smiled, laughing and leaning against the railing to look at her and then the small boy beside her. "What have you been up to, Colonel?" He looked down amused at the child, "I was not aware you had any children." _

_"I don't." She responded quickly with a biting sting, recovering and flashing him her dangerous eyes and smile, "He is my cousin, Comrade Stuka… He is living with me now." _

Jack's heart leapt into his throat when he heard the name and realized, who the man was and Sydney felt the sting of her mother's denouncement of her, even though she understood why.

_"Your cousin." Stuka nodded with a big smile, reaching down to ruffle Julian's curly head. "Lucky little boy… to be living with Colonel Derevko." He winked at Julian who immediately narrowed his eyebrows at him. "I have to be going now, or I'll be late." He fashioned his hand to his head with a smile, "It was good to see you again, Irina." He nodded at her and skipped down the steps. Irina just shook her head and kept on walking towards their apartment. _

**_*He's Got That Look*_**

_When she opened the door, she dropped the bags immediately seeing the man sitting cross legged on her couch smoking a cigarette with a disgusting familiar smell she would never forget and immediately her mask went into place. _

_"Gerard." She greeted him with a soft smile even as her heart pounded in her chest. _

_"Irina." He smiled back with his disgusting lecherous gaze as he scanned her body. _

_She turned away from him feeling her skin crawl and closed the door behind Julian. _

_"So this is our first little pupil?" He leaned forward, leaning on his elbows with a smile to inspect Julian. "You're a rather brilliant little man from what I've seen in your test scores. Probably going to be our best student."_

_Julian stood quietly next to Irina, staring at the man before them. _

_"Was there something I could do for you, Gerard?" Irina asked, avoiding his gaze as she walked across the space, acting as though she were not intimated at all to be in the same room with the man. _

_"Actually," He stood walking over to her and grabbing Irina around the middle with one hand, cupping her face with the other and burying his face into her long hair, inhaling her scent with a smile, "I could certainly think of something you could do and do so well for me." He laughed, capturing her lips with his pulling her tightly against him._

_"Gerard." She finally was able to gasp when he let her come up for air and she pushed lightly away from him, sure to keep her smile on her face nodding towards Julian who was standing absolutely still with wide-eyes watching them. _

Jack's blood was boiling just watching the scene unfold and he wanted to rip the dead man's head off all over again. Irina felt his hand unconsciously tightening, almost painfully around hers.

_Cuvee sighed loudly, obviously unhappy but smiled back at her, trailing his fingers down her face and neck. _

_"Next time, my Little Minx. I have to go anyway. I have a meeting." He dropped his head to capture her lips in another brutal kiss and laughed softly, "I'll see you and Julian tomorrow for the first day of class… Professor." He smiled back at her, walking towards the door and ruffling Julian's hair on the way by. _

_When the door was closed behind him Irina blew out the breath she'd been holding and closed her eyes, opening them and smiling at Julian, thanking her lucky stars he was there to stop Cuvee, 'this time.' _

_"What would you like for dinner, Julian?" She smiled at him in relief for her little savior, "You can have anything you want." She trailed her fingers over his cheek quickly with the first, full radiant smile they'd seen out of Irina after Kashmir, and it was in relief over the fact that she had deflected Cuvee for another night._

Jack was suddenly consciously aware of the fact he was clenching Irina's fingers in his own now that Cuvee had left the screen and looked rapidly over at her with surprised apologetic eyes, quickly pulling her hand to his lips and kissing fingers.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, holding them gently and kissing them over and over, especially aware of the fact she hadn't said anything to him about it, like she thought she somehow deserved the pain he was inflicting.

**_*Like A Toy Soldier-remix*_**

"I'm fine." Irina gave him a soft smile, moving her hand from his lips to run softly down his cheek. "It's ok." Her eyes flashed back to the screen feeling disgust in the pit of her stomach as she watched her onscreen self, walking up and down the aisle of desks with a stopwatch as the children beside her rapidly assembled their weapons.

Many in the audience gasped, and rightfully so, at the astonished factor of watching a little girl who'd finished first, proudly holding her gun in the air.

_Irina walked up behind her and took the gun, inspected it and gave her a soft smile before setting it back on the desk. _

_"Good job, Anna." She praised her._

Sydney gasped audibly beside Irina realizing the Anna onscreen being praised and trained by her mother, was her old nemesis Anna Espinoza. She remembered her mother telling her that she had trained Anna when they were in Moscow last Christmas but 'seeing' it on screen was a violent wake-up call.

The screen whipped quickly in a blur to Irina fighting multiple people in a KGB gym in hand-to-hand combat as the children sat in a circle around them watching and learning.

Irina was positively deadly and very precise with her kicks and hits as to not draw blood on her strikes.

_Irina called everyone to halt and wiped a sweaty hair from her brow, before beckoning forth one of her attackers. She addressed her little pupils on what she was going to do and then waved the man forth, showing them once in slow motion how to use his momentum against him, grab his arm and flip him completely over by just grabbing his wrist. _

_When the man attacked her again, Irina had him flipped and on his back with her knee in his chest pinning him down in split second. She offered her hand to her fallen sparring partner and pulled him up, looking at her pupils and calling forth Julian and Anna. _

Anna looked positively evil from childhood, Sydney decided, even if it was only an actor portraying her; there was something creepy about her intense eyes.

_First, Irina showed Anna where to grab Julian's wrist, showing her the correct stance and then telling her exactly what the right time was to make her move. She had Julian back up on the mats and charge at Anna, while she stood off to the side observing. _

_Anna did just as Irina had told her and flipped the five-year-old blonde into the air and onto his back in a split second, driving her little knee into his chest with a feral look._

The irony of watching children, fighting like this with such technical skills blowing the majority of the audience's minds.

_Cuvee was standing by obviously impressed with Irina's teaching skills and the little girl who wouldn't let Julian up until Irina tugged on her arm to do so. _

_Now it was Julian's turn to flip Anna and did so with the same speed and agility that she had done to him. Smiling proudly at Irina looking for positive reinforcement for a job well done. She smiled at him with a slight nod of approval before calling forth two more students. _

Jack actually felt an odd sense of pride in his son for flipping Anna, remembering very well how much grief the woman had caused Sydney.

_When class was over and the other students were shown back to their dormitories or home with their parents, other KGB agents, Irina stayed and continued working out. _

_One of the male agents smiled at Julian as he passed, the little blonde sitting atop a tall stack of mats he'd climbed up to watch Irina workout and wait for her. He watched her intently as she hit the dummies and bags with her arms, hands, feet, legs, knees and every other part of her body that could be a weapon; smiling in delight every time he'd see her flipping over backwards or off walls. _

_His little smile of delight turned to concern when she kept going and going longer and faster then he'd ever seen her. She was dripping with sweat, her knuckles bleeding and yet she kept going until she finally dropped to her knees panting._

_Julian remained completely still watching her sitting on her knees and heels with head hanging to her chest afraid to move. When she jumped to her feet and grabbed a towel he scrambled off the mats seeing her walking towards him, giving him a small exhausted smile. _

_He knew something was wrong with her, and studied her intently like she had been teaching him to do with people all throughout dinner. _

The calendar in the background read _November 15th_, though only those who could read Cyrillic would catch that small but very significant detail. The others would find out within minutes in another way.

Jack and Sydney both felt as though they were holding their breath after catching it and understanding now, why Irina had worked herself to exhaustion beating out her frustration.

_Irina hadn't spoken one word since leaving the gym and just after clearing the table of their dishes grabbed a bottle of vodka from the top cabinet and disappeared into the bathroom with it when Julian went to his room. _

**_*Do What You Have To Do*_**

_She tore her clothes off slowly from her now aching body and ran a bath even though she had showered at work before leaving. The steam quickly filled the room and she ripped the cap off the bottle and took several lengthy swallows, allowing it to burn through her before setting it on the counter, her eyes flashing to the mirror and holding her own gaze. _

_Silent tears immediately began coursing down her cheeks and she grabbed the bottle, drinking a fourth of it rapidly and climbing into the tub, letting the scalding water cover her up to her neck. _

_When she drained the bottle she slid all the way down in the big claw foot tub and submerged her head all the way under, letting the empty bottle crash to the floor, bounce on the rug and roll away. _

_She closed her eyes under the water as images and sounds of three years ago on this night blasted through her mind of, last kisses goodbye, the rapid beating of a baby's heart, a little hand against her palm, recitations of 'I love you,' icy roads and cars crashing through bridges, the sound of tearing metal and water splashes, holding her breath under water then like she was now, only this time refusing to surface… wanting to stay forever in the darkness._

Sydney found herself screaming inside at her mother with tears rolling down her cheeks, '_Come up Mom! Come up! Please, come up!_' Seeing how she was purposefully remaining under the water, about to drown as the images cut back and forth from Irina's memory flashes and the scene of her under the water in the bathtub.

Julian felt absolute terror, watching with wide eyes realizing that this had really happened while he was in the next room, completely unaware. He also now had another visual reminder of the agony and torment Irina was in all those years with no one ever knowing.

_When Irina's body betrayed her she flew forward in the tub gasping for breath as her lungs burned and she began sobbing softly, curling up into a ball and burying her face into her folded arms. _

* * *

_Los Angeles - November 15th, 1984_

The scene suddenly changed to the view from inside a car, looking out a window to a cemetery where Jack was watching a nine year old Sydney, place flowers on her mother's grave before moving to stand beside her nanny, taking hold of her hand.

_Jack's eyes filled with unshed tears watching the nanny kneeling down and engulfing Sydney into a hug while his daughter sobbed for her lost mother, holding her and comforting her when he couldn't. A lone tear fell from his eye and down his cheek when he watched them walking away, hand in hand. _

Irina was absolutely tormented watching her daughter onscreen at her empty gravesite, taking comfort in her Nanny while Jack watched from a distance. Her family had been completely torn apart.

_Jack started the car and drove to his second home these days, the first being the office, then second being, Mike's Bar. He slid onto a bar stool still wearing his suit and tie from work and let out a big sigh._

_"What's your poison tonight, Jack?" Mike asked, wiping his hands on his bar towel._

_"Whiskey… make it a double… and keep them coming." Jack answered softly, pulling loose the tie around his neck. _

_Mike set the glass of amber liquid down in front of him with a sad expression, realizing what tonight was in the anniversary of Jack Bristow's life. "It's on the house." He set the bottle in front of him as well._

_"Thanks." Jack answered without looking at him, grabbing the crystal and downing the contents. _

_When Jack had drained the bottle and the effects were definitely showing, Mike eyed him down the bar while filling the drink of another patron. _

_"That guy must have had a shitty day." The man followed the bartender's gaze to the drunken man at the end of the bar. _

_"It's the anniversary of his wife's death." Mike answered him softly, "And unlike a lot of marriages these days, he really loved her." _

Irina gasped softly, hearing the words and seeing Jack onscreen and her fingers immediately went to her cheek to wipe the falling tears.

_"God, that's terrible." The man shook his head sadly, "Almost makes me feel bad for sitting here with you and him," He nodded towards Jack, "When I could be at home with my own wife. I said 'almost." He smiled and downed his drink. _

_"I better call his buddy to come and sit with him." Mike picked up the phone and grabbed the little book of numbers behind the bar, dialing. When the line came up as disconnected his eyebrows narrowed and walked slowly towards Jack. "Hey Jack… I just tried to call Arvin to come pick you up… and it says the line's been disconnected."_

_"That's because," Jack sighed loudly, "He doesn't live here anymore… he and his wife…" The words obviously paining Jack to say them, "Moved to Italy." _

_"Wow… when the hell did that happen?" Mike asked curiously scratching out the number in the book. _

_"About six months ago… he got transferred." Jack slurred slightly. _

_"How about your buddy Falcon? Or Marcott?" Mike asked, noting their numbers in the book as well. Jack had required a ride home on more then one occasion from the bar since his wife's death…_

_"They're around… just call, me… a cab." Jack washed his hand over his face, not wanting them to see him like this on the anniversary of his traitorous wife's death._

_"I think I'll call them." Mike gave him a small smile, not really wanting the guy to be alone on a night like this. _

_Mike called and less then fifteen minutes later, both Marcott and Falcon flanked him at the bar, throwing his arms around their shoulders and guiding him out to the car. _

Jack's hand instinctually squeezed Irina's tighter knowing what was coming up and bound to be painful. His own heart thundering loudly against his chest, breath coming in rapid gasps of anticipation and memory.

_"You know what you need, Bristow… a good lay." Falcon addressed Jack as Marcott peeled out of the parking lot, Falcon shaking his head as if that was indeed the answer. "It's been what…three years tonight… and you haven't been laid since. Fuck! That'd kill any man!" He threw his arm over the back of the passenger seat to look at Jack. "We need to get you a good fuck! That will take your mind off it. Your Nanny is young and pretty fucking hot… very fuck-able." _

_"Falcon…" Marcott looked at him, shaking his head. _

_"What?" Falcon asked annoyed, "Jack, maybe this is going to make me a real fucking ass for saying it but she's dead. Whoever Irina Derevko was. She was a lying, traitorous, KGB whore who used you to steal secrets for the Communist bastards! And now she's dead."_

Everyone in their' party watching the film especially felt the nasty sting of those hurtful words and cringed, knowing how hard it must be for Irina to hear this.

_"Falcon!" Marcott yelled at him from the driver's seat. Jack was clenching and unclenching his fists in the back seat, turning his head and trying hard to control himself from reacting by looking out the window, trying to block them out… block out the truth of what he was saying._

_"It's the fucking truth and you know it!" Falcon fired back at Marcott._

_"He doesn't need to hear it right now!" Marcott yelled back angrily. _

_"I think he does!" Falcon argued, "She came in and blasted his life apart like a fucking Nuclear bomb and he's been suffering the fallout ever since! I think it's our duty as his friends… to pull him the hell out of it! Get him to see the truth!" He spat angrily, "Make him see her for what she was! She was never your wife, Bristow…" Falcon turned back to look at Jack, "She was a lie from start to finish… she never loved you, she just fucked you into submission and not that I, or anyone can blame you for that," He cocked his eyebrow, "She was a beautiful whore… A goddamn gorgeous one a that! I doubt any man would turn her down. Too damn good to be true! She was nothing but a lying whore! A whore, Jack! A KGB whore who's dead and gone!" _

Irina's tears were rolling down her face hearing the 'truth' his friends were trying to make him see and she realized now, why he had started to doubt every single thing about their marriage.

Jack could see her reaction out of the corner of his eye and swallowed hard, the words ten times more painful for him to hear now than they were then, which was saying something seeing her reaction to their brutality and knowing it couldn't be further from the truth. He knew she was upset, and he was, too… his thumb began running circles over the back of her hand trying to comfort them both.

_"Shut the fuck up!" Jack onscreen finally turned and yelled at him, having heard enough. "I'm not… going to sit here… and listen to you bash Laura anymore! She's still the mother of my child for God-sake!" _

_"Falcon!" Marcott yelled again, rapidly seeing this escalating out of control. _

_"See! That's your real fucking problem right there! Her name is… was, Irina!" Falcon pointed at him with wide-eyes, "You keep calling her Laura! Thinking of her as Laura when Laura never existed to begin with! She was nothing but a fucking lie, Jack! The sooner you start calling her by her real name the easier its going to be for you to see that lie! She was never your wife! She was never a mother!" His voice was raising with every accusation and truth they way they saw it, "What do you think she was going to do when her extraction orders came some day? You think she was going to take that kid with her? Hell no! She was going to leave her here! What the hell kind of mother leaves her kid, Jack? Ask yourself that!" _

_Jack turned away from him, anger, rage and pain coursing through his veins and Falcon slowed his attack. _

They all felt like they were being flogged with leather covered in nails from the constant beating and bashing of words, ripping them all apart now that they knew the truth. All of their eyes looking down to see Irina's reaction and crying when they saw her sitting absolutely still with continuous tears running from her eyes, staring straight at the screen and hearing what Jack would come to believe as, 'the truth,' what they all had.

_"Look man, I'm sorry to be the ass in this… but I'm being your friend and forcing you to confront the truth… I know it can't be easy to look in the face of your daughter and see her traitorous mother-"_

_"Enough!" Jack's head whipped back to his eyes, coal black and shining with, unshed tears; his face flushed red with rage and alcohol. "That's not true!" _

_"It's absolutely true and you know it! Stop lying to yourself for Christ-sake, Jack!" Falcon was ready to take a punch if need be but he was bound and determined to get through to this man. _

Jack inhaled a sharp breath knowing Sydney was going to be ripped apart hearing what came next and remembering their conversation a couple of years ago on the plane to Geneva, what she believed to be his truth when he looked at her.

_"You hired a Nanny and avoid going home at all costs, volunteering for overseas extended assignments because you can't face that kid! You can't stand to be around her, be reminded of the lie! And nobody's passing any judgment on you for that, Jack, hell… I have no idea how I'd be able to cope with having a kid with a Commie spy! I'd probably do the exact same thing or give her up for adoption so I wouldn't have to look at her and be reminded-"_

_"Falcon!" Marcott turned to him horrified he was revealing this but the man kept going right over top of his attempt to stop him._

_"I think we're all surprised you didn't! That takes balls man-" _

All of the audience gasped in reaction and Irina's eyes flew to her daughter's with apology and burning with tears of remorse.

_The words had barely left Falcon's mouth before Jack slammed him in the face with hard right hook, screaming at him to "Shut the fuck up!" _

_"Enough!" Marcott slammed on the breaks while Falcon cursed and held his blood gushing nose. _

_"Get the fuck out of the car Falcon! Or shut the fuck up!" _

_"He broke my fucking nose!" Falcon took his hands away to reveal a very crooked nose with blood running everywhere. _

_"Let me out of the car!" Jack pulled angrily at the door handle, "Let me out of the car!" _

_"Jack!" Marcott opened the door and let him out, trying to talk to him. "We're only a block from your house, stay in the car!" _

_"I'll walk!" Jack fired back, tearing out of the car and slamming the door behind him. _

_"Jack…" _

_"Get the fuck away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!" Jack screamed back with hot tears running down his face, walking angrily towards his house. _

_"Fine… we'll see you on Monday!" Marcott called out after him, shaking his head before turning to punch Falcon in the arm. "What the fuck is your problem? Beating it into him, on the anniversary of her death, that his entire life with her was a lie! That we can't believe he didn't give the kid up? Are you fucking insane?" _

_"He needs to hear it! He's walking around like a fucking zombie for the last three years! I'm finally being honest with him and I get slugged in the face!" Falcon spit blood out the window as they drove away. _

_"She was everything to him, you don't just get over that." Marcott sighed, shaking his head. _

Irina felt as though her heart was being shoved violently though a shredder witnessing the 'fallout' of her 'death' and reveal as a KGB spy.

_When Jack slipped into the house, he discarded his jacket on the sofa and trudged up the stairs, his hand already swelling with the finger dislocation from the punch. He was about to turn into his bedroom when he paused and looked down the darkened hallway towards Sydney's room. _

_Quietly, he crept past the Nanny's room and stopped with his hand on Sydney's door, turning it slowly and opening it quietly. His eyes instantly flooded with tears, seeing his little girl curled up on her side with her long dark hair spilling over the pillow. _

_Clutched to her chest tightly with one arm, was the doll her mother gave her for the last birthday they shared together; sitting on the shelf, practically untouched was the one he had given her this last year. He walked quietly over and knelt beside her, brushing his hand softly over her head and dropping a light kiss to her hair. _

_His eyes burning with tears and spilling over his cheeks as he watched her sleep. _

_"I do love you, Sweetheart… and I miss your Mommy, too." He sniffled looking at the photos of mother and daughter on her nightstand, whispering softly, "I promise… you'll always have the mother you loved and remember in your heart… I won't take that away from you." He picked up her little hand and kissed it softly. "I won't shatter your heart, like mine… with the truth of 'Irina…" More tears raged from his eyes, bitterness in his voice and he bit back a sob._

Both Irina and Sydney's eyes were burning with tears, understanding now, why Jack let her, wanted her… to live with the '_illusion of Laura'_ instead of the '_truth of Irina_.'

Jack was torn apart now hearing this, remembering the years he believed this, separated Laura from Irina so he could love one and hate the other when it was always the same woman. The part of her that was Laura, was never a lie where it counted… the part he and Sydney both fell in love with.

"I'm sorry." His teary eyes and voice whispered over to Irina, apologizing for a twenty-year belief that was a lie. "I love you, _Irina_." He held her eyes as he emphasized her real name, the name he loved now more than anything and leaned over kissing her lips softly and wiping her tears.

"You didn't know." Irina whispered against his lips, kissing a lone tear away from his cheek with a soft smile before they turned their eyes back to the screen.

_Jack wiped at his eyes slowly standing and left the room quietly. When he entered his darkened bedroom, he flopped down onto the bed still wearing all his clothes with one hand reaching over to sprawl out over the empty space on 'her' side of the bed, he finally cried himself to sleep._

* * *

_East Berlin – December 1987_

_"Alright Julian," Irina addressed him putting on the last earring and smoothing her form fitting navy blue dress over her hips, taking one last look in the full length mirror in her bedroom. _

_It was a halter top with a dangerously low, neck line in the front and almost non-existent back, showing off her sexy sculpted muscles all the way to the small of her back; the slit up her right leg stopped mid thigh. _

The sight of her onscreen, Lena's incredible beauty, made every man in the audience hearts drop with a thud and many gasped in awe seeing her in this brilliant dress looking gorgeous.

_"What are you to do if I haven't returned by morning?" Irina onscreen whirled around fingering a stray hair behind her ear as the rest was pulled up in an elegant French Twist. _

_"First, I am to go next door and alert Dmitri," Julian looked at her reciting her instructions verbatim, as always, swallowing hard before continuing, "Then I am to call Katya." _

_Irina pulled on her long navy gloves that matched the dress and came all the way up her arm, stopping mid-bicep._

Many people's heads in the audience could be seen shaking softly with astonishment hearing the conversation of '_what to do if I don't return'_ taking place between Irina and the eight year old child.

It was Katya's turn to gasp softly, having no idea… she was part of Irina's '_plan of action'_ for Julian if she was killed or disappeared all those years ago.

_"Yes." She gave the blonde eight year old an approving smile and nod, pulling up her dress exposing her thigh to slide her stiletto into the band holding it to her leg and hiding it. "But you forgot the last part." _

_"None of the above will be necessary, as you always return." He smiled widely and she laughed softly. _

The audience laughed softly with them.

_"Excellent." She smiled, reaching for her fur shall, "Have you finished the codes I gave you?" _

_"Almost finished, I only have one left to decipher." He smiled quite proud of himself as he followed her through the large living room to the door._

_"Leave them on the piano and I will check them when I return." She nodded toward the black grand piano near the window. "I'll see you in the morning." _

_"Goodnight Irina." He added softly, when she exited the door, passing the security guard outside the door. _

Lena's voice came over as narrator to reveal the events in their lives the last couple of years, talking while the car made its way to their destination.

They had moved to East Berlin two years ago, making it their base when Irina was promoted again within the ranks of the KGB and now held the significant title of General with her area of expertise.

The Soviet Union was rapidly deteriorating and falling into despair and only a few key people left in the KGB held any real power with their matters of influence and reputation, Irina was one of them. With her new status, came wealth and unbeknownst to the Soviet Government, she had begun making her own network of people, doing her own missions not sanctioned by the KGB to further her goals.

They had lived in various places all over the world when not in the Motherland during the last three years including Ireland, India, Egypt, Morocco and East Germany.

_Irina ducked into the back of a black car and silently crept through the night, when they came to a gate in the wall, Irina rolled down her window and simply looked at the guard, staring at him with dark eyes and was immediately admitted to pass through, the East German guards knowing of her status and reputation were not eager to get on her bad side. _

The sight of the Berlin Wall sent shivers down many of their spines, hearing the German Shepard dogs barking and rabid at the ends of their handlers chains patrolling the wall.

_The car drove a little ways just beyond the wall and pulled into a parking lot behind a ritzy dance club where loud music was blaring from the orchestra within. _

**_*Sing, Swing, Sing*_**

_Her driver, shut the car off and waited in the darkness while she slipped out and made her way into the back passing through the kitchen and flashing her drop dead gorgeous smile the entire way, everyone of the kitchen staff stopping to stare. _

_She sloughed off her shawl and handed it to the coat check, grabbing a glass of champagne off the waiter's tray as she passed him, and sipping on it as she weaved through the crowd up the stairs and to the tables on the slightly elevated second story over looking the dance floor. _

"Oh my God, I've been to that club!" Sydney gasped quietly, with a small smile to her mother, realizing how many times their lives intersected even during absence.

_"Liesel, Darling," A woman suddenly grabbed Irina's arm, whirling her around with a wide smile, "It's so good to see you! Where have you been?" She asked excitedly in German, her found friend now holding the attention of her small group of friends; the men in tuxedoes eyeing Irina's appearance appreciatively with smiles, all dying to get to know her better. _

_"Greta! It's wonderful to see you too!" Irina leaned over, kissing both the woman's cheeks. "It has been too long." She laughed softly enchanting every person within a hundred yard area. "I've been to London on business again." She sighed and rolled her eyes making them all laugh. _

_"What's your business, if you don't mind my asking?" A handsome gentlemen with blonde hair and rich brown eyes flashed her a brilliant smile. _

_"Public relations." Irina flashed her own brilliant smile. _

The audience laughed again at Irina's choice wording of her job description while on an obvious mission.

_"What a coincidence, so am I." He smiled widely. _

_Irina's eyebrow arched with interest. "Liesel De Jung." She held her gloved hand out to him._

_"Charmed." He kissed her hand and then kissed it again, not relinquishing her hand, "Hans Oroff. Would you care to dance Ms. De Jung?"_

_"It would be my pleasure." She downed the last bit of her champagne with a feral smile, finding her prey. "Shall we?" She held her hand out once more and he took it carefully. _

_"I must say this, and you probably think I'm a fool after but you are utterly… the most beautiful creature I do believe I've ever laid eyes on." He pulled her into his arms and they immediately started dancing around the floor. _

_"Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Oroff." She laughed softly, speaking flawless German. _

_"Men, must… throw themselves at your feet all the time with a smile like yours." He continued to smile radiantly._

_"Some." She replied coyly. 'Though not the way you think.' She sighed internally and laughed at his raised eyebrows._

_"I love a woman who knows she's beautiful." He spun her in a circle and pressed his hand against the naked skin of her back. "If I proposed to you now, would you marry me?" He looked deeply into her eyes with a raging smile. _

_Jack swallowed hard watching the scene unfold and hearing another man proposing to his wife, his hands on her, continuously reminded that though it was a movie, it was a movie of the truth, reality and he only saw 'his wife' on screen._

_Irina laughed, and shifted her gaze shaking her head, "As tempting as your offer is Mr. Oroff, I'm afraid I cannot except." _

_"Why not?" He pressed on with a beautiful smile. "I know… You were married once and it went bad." _

_"Something, like that." Irina looked away and sighed, before finding his eyes again, boring into hers._

Sydney turned softly to look at both her parents, gauging their reactions of this conversation that obviously held double meaning in the bit of truth Irina onscreen was revealing.

_"He was a fool to let you go…" Hans smiled, whirling her rapidly in circles with the song. _

_"No. I was a fool… for ever thinking it could work." She gave him a soft smile, looking away again momentarily before her eyes darted back to his, "Would you think I'm forward if I suggested we find someplace private?" Her smile was sexy and dangerous and screamed impure thoughts. _

_"Yes, I would. But I'd be absolutely delighted in taking that suggestion." He whirled her around and off the dance floor, following her with speed as she led him by the hand onto the second story to the closed off balcony. _

_Once they were behind the drawn curtains only a sparse light lit their surroundings and Hans immediately made his move, grabbing her face with one hand kissing her deeply while the other went down her side and over her ass pulling her tightly too him. _

_Irina's hands were raking up his chest and tugging on his lip with her teeth, pulling back slightly to tease him, knowing exactly how to make him respond. He moved the hand for her ass to join the one against the other side of her head and pulled her eagerly too his mouth. _

_With both of his hand occupied, Irina slid her leg through her slit, brushing it up between his legs and rubbing it against his thigh while she went, moving one hand down his chest towards his inflamed area and making him moan into her mouth. _

_Her fingers lightly brushing over his bulge beneath his pants and then down to remove her stiletto._

"Oh boy…" Weiss gasped softly, knowing what was coming next, tugging at his tie feeling his temperature rising watching Irina in action on screen, a testament to Lena's ability to play the woman on screen, they were all lost in really seeing 'Irina.'

_Irina carefully brought her hand clutching the knife back up, kissing him more deeply and forcefully caressing his crotch with her leg to keep him distracted. She pulled back on her kiss, just brushing against his lips and then jerked her arm, slitting his throat, dropping him immediately to her feet. _

The audience inhaled sharply with 'ugh' that rolled softly through the theatre and Irina chewed her lip nervously, realizing that all, of the world was now going to be seeing this side of her.

_Irina wiped the blood off her knife on his jacket and rolled him over, reaching into his pocket, searching. In the lining of his jacket, she found a secret pocket and removed what she was looking._

**_*I'll Be Seeing You*_**

_When she pulled out a gold wedding band along with what she was after, she kicked his corpse and threw his ring at him, "Pig!" _

The audience erupted in short laughter, some saying the exact same thing as she did on screen at the same time, coming to the same conclusion about the adulterous man. He was more despicable in that moment then Irina who had slit his throat, and made Irina sigh in relief even laugh softly with them at the memory, shaking her head.

_Irina shook her head in disgust looking at his dead body as she slid the key card down the front of her dress. _

_She casually made her way down stairs and out the door, grabbing her shawl from the coat-check before leaving, flashing the young man working a brilliant smile._

_Irina slid out the backdoor and into the waiting car. Her driver drove back to the gate and once again, all it took was Irina rolling her window down slightly exposing her face to the guard to gain passage back through. She slipped out the car at the front of the building and made her way upstairs. _

_"General," Her doorman greeted her and opened the door with a smile while she passed through. _

Another audible gasp rang out softly with the reveal of her new rank and Irina felt Jack and Sydney's eyes flash to look at her surprised, knowing she was a High-Ranking Officer but not knowing she had been for so long.

_Irina began removing her shawl and gloves as she made her way through the spacious apartment towards the bar. She set the items on the dining room table and immediately turned back to the bar, pouring herself a sizeable glass of vodka and drinking it greedily, closing her eyes and shaking her head trying to calm her pounding heart and clear the assaulting images of Jack floating through her mind after the target's words. _

_"You never loved him, you never loved him, you never loved him, you never loved him." She chanted softly to herself, shaking her head just as softly with eyes still closed, trying to convince herself'. She poured another glass and drank it down just as quickly, wiping the back of her mouth with her hand and blinking back tears. She grabbed the bottle by the neck and crossed the darkness to sit on the piano bench, illuminated by the moonlight cascading in from the window. _

The tears once again started building in everyone's eyes hearing the sad song continuing from the club and absolutely appropriate for the feelings that Irina was having, the memories she was thinking about and trying to convince herself, she never loved Jack when it was obvious, she knew she was lying to herself.

_Smiling softly through her tears as she set the bottle down on top of the black surface and seeing Julian's decoded messages waiting for her. He'd gotten them all correct as she glanced through them. _

_She set the piece of paper back onto the shiny surface and drained the remaining liquid in her glass before setting it down as well. _

_Her fingers lifting the lid, sliding it into place, before she began trailing the tips along the length of the ivory softly. _

**_*Moonlight Sonata*_**

_Immediately her fingers began playing a familiar haunting melody that reflected her current mood and her body began to sway with the music; the tears running silent rivers down her face would not be held back nor would the images and memories escaping from her heart. Normally held so tightly in their compartments now seeping out in anguish through her playing. _

_Julian's eyes fluttered open hearing the music drifting through the apartment and a small smile came to his lips hearing her play and knowing she had arrived back safely once more. He rolled over onto his side and listened for a moment, relishing in any chance he had gotten to hear her play, as it was very infrequent. _

_She heard the creak of the floorboards in the hallway and glanced up in the direction of the sound. Her hands immediately ceasing their play and instead going to wipe her eyes and the tear trails they left behind. _

_When the little blonde boy didn't appear right away she went to look for him, realizing she probably scared him off when she stopped playing. _

Irina on the screen may have stopped playing the song but it kept playing in the film over the scene…

_"Julian…" She called out softly, getting up to find him, and taking the paper with her and calling out to him in the darkness. "Julian, you got them all correct." She smiled looking back down at the paper. _

_She didn't have time to react when the man dressed in black flew around the corner and lodged his knife into her stomach just above her belly button, pushing her back into the room as she gasped holding onto the handle and away from him as she stumbled backwards. _

The audience gasped in surprise and horror, and Sydney's hand flew to her mouth with raging tears. Jack refused to blink or breath this being one of those things he was terrified of seeing.

_The light in Julian's bedroom suddenly flicked on and the man ran past her and threw himself through the window, dropping down a story into the snow and running away. _

_Julian opened the door at the end of the hallway hearing the glass shattering and watched in silent horror as Irina dropped to her knees at the other end, the hilt of a knife sticking out of her stomach._

_"Irina!" He screamed running towards her, "Irina!" He cried out in a strangled voice and blinked back tears, looking down at her hands shaking and holding the handle of the knife covered in blood. Her eyes flashed to his, taking on a slow glassy appearance. _

_When she opened her mouth to speak, blood immediately began running forth down her chin and she reached out with one bloody hand to grasp his arm. "Get… Dmitri." She barely croaked out in a whisper as her upper body began to sway. _

_Julian ran to the door and flung it open horrified to see their security guard with his throat slit on the steps and jumped over him running as hard as he could with blinding tears to Dmitri's door, pounding with little fists and screaming his name._

_Dmitri jumped out of bed and flew to the door, flinging it open and seeing a panicked Julian standing before him with a blood handprint on his arm. _

_"Irina, Irina, Irina!" He kept chanting and pulling hard on the older man's hand. Dmitri followed quickly behind him and gasped when he saw the dead security man. Julian flew through the door and slid on his knees to where Irina was still sitting on her heels though her head hand lulled to her chest, holding the knife jutting inside her. _

_"Oh dear God…" Dmitri's eyes flooded with tears and he grabbed the phone._

_"Pull it out!" Julian's little hands began reaching for the offending object protruding from her body and she once again grasped his arm, forcing her head to look up at him. _

_"No…" She gasped, causing more blood to spill from her mouth, now running down her chest, the shock setting in._

_"Don't pull it out!" Dmitri called out frantically, dialing the telephone at the same time. "If you pull it out, she'll bleed to death!" _

_Julian's head whipped from Dmitri's back to Irina and the hand of hers, soaked in blood holding the knife inside her. _

_She swayed back and forth about to fall forward onto the knife and Dmitri screamed at Julian in panic, "Hold her up!"_

_The eight year old grabbed her shoulder to hold her upright and steady while Dmitri relayed instructions rapidly on the phone. As soon as his call ended he hung up the phone and immediately went to Irina's side. _

_"Sydney…" She barely mumbled coherently with glassy eyes staring at the floor, clearly someplace else._

_"Oh Child…" His eyes flushed with new tears watching the blood running in a stream from her mouth and seeing the hilt of the knife was three inches wide, meaning the blade was at least two and a half inches in width._

_The sound of screaming sirens could be heard coming down the block, growing louder as they approached._

_Julian's little hands closed over Irina's holding the knife in place, not wanting her to let it go and bleed to death, his blue eyes going wide as the paramedics flooded into the apartment._

The film slowed down to slow motion as Irina began to fade, her sight and sound leaving her and that of the viewers until it was only blackness on screen.

**_*Dirty Little Secret*_**

Irina's eyes fluttered open and flashes of bright lights and blurred sounds flitted across the screen.

The paramedics were flashing lights into her eyes, leaning over and when they let her eyelids drop, the screen went to blackness as she went unconscious again.

_Images of Sydney, Jack and her former life flitted through her mind as did flashes from Kashmir and her life before and after all mixed together._

_Sydney's little laughter and chants of 'Mommy stop tickling me!' escaped the compartmentalized boxes in her unconsciousness and Irina began to cry, with tears escaping from her eyes even as she lay unaware of it._

The images on screen, once again flashing back and forth from Irina's memories to that of her in real-time as the paramedics then hospital staff worked on her.

_Eskimo kisses and hugs, bedtime stories and birthday candles violently clashed with screams of pain from Kashmir and then contorting with flashes of she and Jack, his voice and kisses waking her in the morning and whispering words of love, another scream and flash of torture ripped the memory away and replaced it._

_Just as quickly as it came, it passed and Julian's little hand in hers and his big blue eyes mixing with Sydney's then screaming out as they threw her baby into the incinerator._

_Thousands of images, sounds and memories flashing through her mind and heart at the speed of light and then suddenly, nothing…_

_Dmitri watched as her body bounced off the metal table, a tube down her throat and he turned away quickly with fresh tears, looking over at the little boy in the chair down the hall, covered in her blood with terror in his eyes._

_His eyes flashed back to the window and watched again as Irina's body flew from the surgical table getting shocked and finally a heart rate interrupted the flat tone the machine was emitting._

_"Katya…" Dmitri sighed heavily, rubbing his fingers and pinching his forehead while he called her, "It's Irina…" He held back the small sob._

_"What happened?" She asked frantically on the other end, already in tears and damning herself for not being in contact with her sister._

_"It was an assassination attempt. She was stabbed." He swallowed hard, hearing her sharp inhale of breath and soft sob, "As soon as she's stable, we've arranged for her to be flown back to Moscow… It's not safe for her here. He didn't finish the job; he'll come back. I know the two of you are not speaking but I thought you should know… It doesn't look good."_

_"I'll meet you there." Katya cried and hung up the phone, covering her mouth with her hand and gasping before falling to the floor crying in soft sobs wracking her body._

* * *

_Moscow, Russia_

_"How long has she been unconscious for?" Katya asked, lifting Irina's hand and holding it in her own as they stood beside her hospital bed._

_"Since before the surgery." Dmitri swallowed hard, both of them watching as Alexei listened to her heart._

_"Five days." Katya gasped with tears flooding her eyes._

_"She lost a great deal of blood." Alexei sighed, looking positively worn out. He pulled the sheet back and lifted Irina's hospital gown revealing a white bandage of gauze around her middle, starting to soak through with blood._

_His scissors cut down the center of the bandage exposing the stitched area where they removed the knife._

_"When will she regain consciousness?" She asked softly, blinking back fresh tears while they watched Alexei clean and rewrap her sister's abdomen._

_"I don't know." Alexei turned his head to look at her sadly. "Thankfully, when the knife entered through her abdominal walls it went up in a slant, sliding between and cutting into both her Thoracic aorta and Inferior vena cava, but not severing them. If the knife had not slanted…" He paused shaking his head with the thought, "It will take quite some time to heal…an injury of this severity."_

_"How could she survive that?" Katya asked with new tears coursing down her cheeks._

_"By all medical stand-points, she really shouldn't have." Alexei shook his head in wonder, turning back to them, "Irina is... abnormal."_

_"What do you mean?" Dmitri asked just as confused as Katya._

_"In assessing her injuries, we discovered some abnormalities." Alexei took a deep breath._

_"Like what?" Katya asked terrified._

_"Well, her heart, for one. It's significantly larger than normal and her platelet level, is… They are like some kind of a… of a," He struggled for a word to describe them, "Super-human platelet levels. Something never seen before. That is why she is still alive. Her body immediately began to clot and stem the blood flow in a way, that could only be described as… miraculous."_

_"But she is going to make it?" Katya sniffled, unable to keep the tremble from her voice._

_"Yes, I do believe she will." He gave her a small smile, "She's a fighter… not one to give up easily. She's already made it through the worst of it."_

_"Thank God." Katya gasped, new tears surging forth and wiping them away, "I'll stay the rest of the night and leave in the morning."_

_"Katya, why don't you stay?" Dmitri took her hand in his with sad eyes and a longing in his voice, "At least until she's conscious-"_

_"No." Katya shook her head with new tears coursing down her face trying to stop from sobbing. "I can't stay. I can't face her."_

_"Ekaterina," Alexei placed a hand on her forearm, with sadness lacing his words and eyes._

_"No, I can't. I don't know what I'd say." Katya shook her head, wiping at her tears._

_"It's been six years, Ekaterina… seventeen years really; haven't you both suffered enough?" Alexei's voice dripped with emotion, "There_ has been too much suffering already-"

_"Yes! There has!" Katya wiped at her face angrily, "What am I supposed to say to her?" She looked between the two men and then Irina lying unconscious with tubes and wires coming out of her everywhere. "She's a stranger to me."_

_"But your mother—"_

_"Exactly! Our mother!" Her voice rose and face contorted in anguish, "I can't do this." She shook her head and rapidly but softly returned Irina's hand to the bed and spun on her heels leaving the room with pounding tears and feet._

_"Katya!" Dmitri called after her down the hall to no avail._

_"Dmitri," Julian addressed him quietly, sitting in the pea green hospital chair, waiting outside the room. "What was Irina talking about? Sydney?" His wide-eyed innocence bore through Dmitri and his shoulder's slumped looking down at the child._

_'He'd heard and he'd remembered. Obviously something he'd been thinking about for the last five days.'_

_"She was in shock, Julian." He deflected the truth, with a partial truth. This was not his place to say._

* * *

_One Week Later_

_Irina was sitting semi-upright in the stark white hospital bed and room, itching to leave. Her movements brought only slight grimaces to her face from the pain when normal people would have cried out in agony, Kashmir had taught her pain control._

Lena's voice broke through narrating Irina's internal thoughts. Someone had tried to kill her and she wanted to know whom.

_Whomever, the assassin was, he had killed her driver while in the club, took his place securing his passage across the border, with her admittance. He waited until she was inside her apartment before killing her guard and entering._

_The choice of the method he chose to take her life also spoke volumes, it was a fatal wound meant to linger and cause the most severe pain imaginable before succumbing to death. Whoever did this, wanted her to die slowly… wanted her to suffer._

_Julian was sitting in the chair beside her bed, working on deciphering another code she had just written out for him; something to pass the time when a voice that haunted her, pierced her thoughts._

_"Irina, you're looking much better today." Cuvee and Khasinau suddenly entered the room, Khasinau was carrying a folder at his side. "How are you feeling?" He asked with the most sincerity coming to stand by her bed._

_'Ironic question,' she thought, 'coming from him as he was never one to care at all how she felt.' "Better. Ready to leave this place and find my would-be assassin." She gave him a smirk and rolled her eyes with a sigh, looking over at Julian's methodical nature in decoding._

_"Ah… yes, but we know that the doctors are demanding at least twelve weeks of rest for you until the injuries heal." He smirked back at her. How he knew this, she didn't need to ask. A slogan often used in the Soviet Union was… 'Even the walls have ears.' The KGB knew everything. "We've also learned, that you're a rather remarkable creature… though we already knew that." Cuvee laughed with a smile, "Some interesting anomalies within your body." He gave her a lecherous gaze that made her want to vomit._

_"So I heard." She sighed with a small smile._

**_*The Approach*_**

_"Irina, what do you know of the division we had researching a man named Rambaldi?" Khasinau asked her taking a seat in the chair on the same side of the bed as Julian, moving the file to his lap._

_"Nothing really. Only that it was a division researching a 16th Century inventor who seemed to have an almost psychic vision of technology." She moved slightly and the pain ripped through her, though her face betrayed nothing. "Why?"_

_"You are need time to rest and recover, physically… to hide out from the assassin until you're strong enough to deal with him. We know of a place, that would be perfect for you at this time… and it would also afford you the opportunity to study Rambaldi further." Khasinau's empty gaze revealed nothing._

_"Where would that be and why would I want to study Rambaldi?" She quirked her eyebrow curiously with a hint of annoyance in her tone._

_"There is a monk who calls himself, Conrad… we've recently learned about in Thailand who has information on Rambaldi's works. With this recent development in your 'anomalies' combined with some facts we already know about the man, I think you'd be most interested to learn more about him." Khasinau leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees, he threw the file onto her lap in bed._

_"Why is that and what does it have to do with my 'anomalies'?" She asked with a sigh again, getting agitated they weren't getting to the point; ignoring the file._

_"Because… I think you may find it interesting to know, Rasputin," He smirked when he saw the flash in Irina's eyes with the name, "Was a direct descendent of Rambaldi." Seeing he had Irina's full attention now, he continued, "In the research of Rambaldi's work we've already acquired he speaks of a prophecy. A prophecy, surrounding a woman who posses certain, unseen marks, two of which, are an abnormally large heart and anomalies of her platelet levels."_

_Irina's eyebrows rose slightly with the information, her interest definitely peaked._

_"Now we find it, just too coincidental, that a Romanov would have the anomalies described in a prophecy, written by Rambaldi whose descendent was Rasputin. Don't you agree?" Khasinau stared at her._

_"Yes, I agree, that is interesting." Irina nodded with a shrug looking down before looking up to meet their eyes with a soft smile. "What is it exactly that you'd like me to do?"_

_She pulled the file towards her and flipped open the cover to reveal photo copied images of ancient text and drawings._

_"Go to this monk's monastery in Thailand, recover from your wounds… and learn what you can from him about Rambaldi's prophecy." Khasinau's voice was deep and rough, "If that's acceptable to you General?"_

_Her rank meant they had less control over her now. They had turned her into the 'perfect little spy' and in doing so she advanced quickly through the ranks and chain of power._

They were no longer her superiors but on equal footing, and it was her decision to make though she knew she really had no choice. To not go along with a KGB suggestion meant they found ways to 'make you.'

_"As long as I can get out of this place, I'll go." She gave him a small dangerous smile. Her pale complexion betrayed how tired and weak she was feeling._

_"Good. We'll get you released and any information you will need." Khasinau and Cuvee both stood, Kashinau's face impassive while Cuvee's held a smile, "You should get some rest."_

_Irina nodded at them softly and turned her attention back to Julian whom she knew was listening intently like he was taught to, even if he looked as though he was completely absorbed in his deciphering._

_"Oh Irina," Cuvee paused in the doorway with an evil lecherous smile, "Happy Birthday." He winked at her and Irina's stomach immediately spasmed sending bile into her throat, threatening to vomit with his voice and those words unlocking a tightly uncontrolled compartment and violently assaulting her with images from her birthday 'present' from him in Kashmir._

_Mask firmly in place she forced herself to give him a small smile and held her breath until he was gone._

_She turned her attention back to the file while she tried to shove her emotions and the images back into their box inside her._

_"Irina," Julian addressed her softly after a moment, his eyes still on his paper where his pencil was rearranging letters._

_"Yes?" She asked just as softly, seeing him struggling to ask whatever question he had; she closed the file giving him her full attention._

_"Just after, when you were stabbed… Dmitri said you were in shock," His piercing blue eyes finally found the courage to look at her._

_Irina nodded softly against her pillow, waiting for the rest she knew was just beneath the surface._

_"You said… Sydney." He swallowed hard looking away when she averted her eyes._

**_*In Dreams*_**

_"I said her name." She gasped in an involuntary whisper of astonishment. Irina's emotions over hearing that name were like a tidal wave washing over her and she focused on the ceiling, calming herself and securing her mask firmly in place before she would turn to look at him. She had no idea she had said her name out loud that night._

_"Sydney is a person? Who is she?" His little voice asked and she felt like she was being interrogated all over again._

_Irina's heart was thundering in her ears and she took one then two calming breaths, before answering._

_"Yes… Sydney is… was… is a person." She struggled to find the proper way to speak of someone you had kept telling yourself was dead, at least to you, though they were not really. It was the first time she'd said her name aloud since Kashmir. "I had a daughter once… Sydney." She said it again as another torrent of emotion tore through her hearing and saying it once more._

_Julian's eyes were as wide as saucers when she turned to look at him briefly and turned away again._

_"Did she die? Like my Mum?" He asked softly, realizing that Irina never spoke of Sydney, like he had never spoken of his mother since her death._

_Irina inhaled a shaky breath, forcing herself not to cry or show any emotion, "No… I did." She answered so softly he barely heard. She knew he was looking at her confused, thankfully his perception was far beyond his eight years and he turned away, dropping it._

_Julian knew it was something she didn't care to discuss having never done so before and her reluctance to now. "I have never been to Thailand." He smiled, switching subjects. "This shall be another great adventure." He held out his finished codes for her to approve._

_She gave him a soft smile and took the paper. "It shall."_

'_Great adventure_.' The words echoing through everyone's minds realizing just how 'great' of an adventure it would turn out to be, the quest for Rambaldi in all of their lives; a quest that would take years to decipher, realize and stop at great cost.

Irina's heartbreaking admission of Sydney to Julian was heart wrenching for all to see, especially her response to Julian's question. Irina could still feel the pain in her heart, a sharp pang just as she did that day with the original question and swallowed hard remembering that moment in a time which seemed so long ago and yet, like it just happened.

The film picked up immediately with Irina and Julian's arrival in Thailand.

_Thailand - December 20th, 1987..._

* * *

_**AN: I'd really love to hear from my readers. If you're enjoying, please let me hear your thoughts! I can't tell you how much I appreciate the feedback. Reviews and hearing what readers enjoy are the fuel to a writers muse!**  
_


	15. Chapter 15

_**AN: Thanks to those reviewing! You are truly rockstars and I love you for it! I can't tell you how nice it is to actually get some feedback. Otherwise, I feel like I'm just posting into thin air! Mary, you're a constant reviewer and big hugs to you! Thanks for letting me know that people are actually reading.**_

_**Basically, you just want to listen to ALL of this music of the 'films' as it's all very important and telling!**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, Papa Can You Hear Me **_**by Charlotte Church**_**, Hemmorhage **_**by Fuel**_** ,**__** Silence (original mix from Karma)- by **__****__**Delerium**_ featuring Sarah McLachlan from Brokedown Palace Soundtrack , In Dreams by Michael Giacchino form the ALIAS Soundtrack, Kissing You (instrumental) by Desiree from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack, Tania by Hans Zimmer from Enemy At The Gates Soundtrack, Dragula ******by Rob Zombie**_****__**, ******__Ochi Chernye _**********by Red Army Choir**_****__********__, The Matrix Theme (Clubbed to Death) _**********by Rob Dougan**_****__********__ from The Matrix Soundtrack, Inferno _**********by Michael Giacchino**_****__********__ from the ALIAS Soundtrack. _

* * *

FIFTEEN

o

The film picked up immediately with Irina and Julian's arrival in Thailand.

_Thailand - December 20th, 1987_

_Irina raised her hand to knock on the giant wooden door of the monastery nestled into the mountains of Thailand; Julian was standing just beside her with wide eyes of wonder at the large structure. _

_The door suddenly opened, seemingly of its own accord, as no one was present on the other side. Cautiously, Irina took a step inside, using her arm to push Julian behind her. The entire area before them was dark except for a few places that were illuminated by the permeating sunlight creating a vast expanse of lightness and shadows. The air smelled of burning incense and muggy heat and the silence was almost deafening. _

_One step and then another echoed off the stonewalls and Irina's eyes canvassed the space. _

_"Hello…" She called out in Thai softly, flicking her wrist and sliding the stiletto up her sleeve into access, on the ready for any potential danger lurking in the shadows. _

_When her call went unanswered she moved through the shadows with Julian on her heels towards the large curtain before them. A flash of orange caught her eye in the crack between the curtain and wall and just as she titled her head to peer through, the velvety barrier before them began to rise rapidly. _

_The bare feet of a monk in orange robes were revealed first and Irina took a step back, pushing Julian up against a giant wooden pillar as they both watched the massive room before them being exposed, the light cascading through the enormous windows making up the walls in front of them blinding them momentarily and causing both to squint. _

_"Hello, Irina. I've been waiting for you." A deep voice rumbled from behind a large chair in the center of the room. _

_Irina's heart raced in her chest upon hearing the voice and her name and the fact he said he was expecting her when no one was supposed to know of her arrival. Her eyes flashed to the monk who'd just finished tying off the curtain rope; he moved his hands into a position of prayer and bowed to her slightly with a small smile before turning to leave. _

_The owner of the voice stood from behind the chair and turned to face his guests. His hair was dark with streaks of gray, skin was tanned and beginning to wrinkle and his orange robe was a bit darker then the monk seen previously, obviously stating his stature amongst the ranks. His eyes lit with wonder and a smile slowly spread across his face as he made his way towards them. _

_"How did you know my name?" Irina asked in Thai as the man, continued to study her just as she was studying him. "Who told you I was coming?"_

_"I know a great many things about you, Irina…" The monk smiled and stepped closer. "This meeting was prophesized. I have been patiently waiting for your arrival for years."_

_Irina swallowed hard and felt her palms begin to sweat. _

_"What do you mean?" She asked, not wanting to reveal what she knew and didn't about the Rambaldi Prophecy. _

_The man simply smiled and tilted his head to the side, amused. _

_"You are here and that alone, tells me you know what I am referring to." His head cocked to the other side while his eyes continued to hold hers. _

_The monk who was present before suddenly appeared again with a tray of tea which he sat on a small circular table low to the ground, bowing before the man and Irina before retreating into the shadows once more. _

_"You've come to learn of your role in the Prophecy." He ushered them towards the pillows on the floor around the table with a smile. "And to heal from your wounds." His smile widened when he caught the flash in her eyes with his knowledge. "My name is Conrad." He took a seat and began pouring tea as she and Julian sat cautiously around the table, both pairs of eyes scanning the room and Irina's fingers running over the flat edge of her stiletto's blade. _

_"There is no need for weapons." Conrad's voice broke the silence, speaking to Irina without looking up as he passed her a cup of tea with a smile, "You are safe here." _

_Irina was greatly unnerved by the fact this monk knew so much about her and seemingly reading her mind, yet she felt an odd sense of safety at the same time. She flicked her wrist and exposed the knife fully, setting it gently on the table before them, keeping it within reach, eyeing Conrad and nodding slightly to Julian that it was 'ok' to drink the tea. _

_The little boy waited until Irina's fingers grasped the small teacup before mimicking her moves. _

_The tea was bittersweet and felt like it was coating her insides as it slid easily down her throat like balm, soothing her body internally. _

_"It was prepared especially for you." Conrad smiled, yet again reading her mind, "The tea was made of leaves and berries with healing properties that will aid in your recovery." _

_Julian looked down into his cup with a quirked eyebrow at the tea that felt tingly on his own tongue and then back to Irina, studying her intently and the interaction of the adults before him as they studied each other. _

_"What is this prophecy and what is my supposed role, Conrad?" Irina's eyes pierced his with a questioning tone that also hinted at demanding. She really didn't like anyone knowing this much about her, especially someone she had never met._

_"You don't trust easily, do you?" Conrad cocked his head giving her a slight smile, "Guarded and anxious for answers that only time will reveal."_

_"What is that supposed to mean?" Irina asked immediately, watching as the man took a sip, dodging her question and speaking in riddles._

_"This prophecy is a great puzzle and the answers you seek about your role in it, will only be revealed with time, Irina." Conrad paused to pour himself more tea, "As well as the role of your daughter." His eyes flashed up to hers and Irina ceased breathing for the moment, frozen, unblinking. _

_'He knew about Sydney, too.' Julian's eyes were wide and searching as they swept back and forth between the two, hearing the mention of Irina's daughter again and her reaction to it. _

_Irina's eyes remained locked on Conrad's, silent and still, in a daze. "Sydney." She gasped in a voice barely audible, terror immediately shooting through her with the thought her child could somehow be involved in this yet unknown prophecy that had to do with Rasputin, her family and this unknown prophet Rambaldi. _

_"I will try to answer as many questions as I can during your stay." Conrad offered her a small smile and a nod, reading her face and reaction. "This is your destiny, Irina." His eyes locked onto hers' while he refilled her teacup. _

**_*Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas*_**

_December 24th, 1987_

The scene changed to the interior home of the Bristow's in Los Angeles where Sydney was sitting in the dark in front of an illuminated Christmas tree, the only holiday decoration indicating the season.

The skirt beneath it was covered in carefully wrapped boxes, all with nametags that simply read, 'To: Sydney, From: Dad' in the nanny's handwriting.

Twelve-year-old Sydney, was glancing at the clock that read 9:14 PM and sighed as she glanced from the tree to the door, expectantly.

_A small smile graced her lips as she fingered the twirls of gold ribbon on a small package in her hands that read, 'To: Daddy… Love, Sydney.' She carefully placed the package back under the tree and looked back to the table she had set with two plates, a meal prepared with the help of her nanny before she left, sat in the middle having gone cold hours ago._

_The sound of heavy footsteps coming up the porch steps alerted her of her father's arrival._

_Sydney smiled brightly and moved to the door hurriedly while Jack closed his eyes and sighed heavily on the opposite side of the door, preparing himself to enter his own house and face his child. _

_"Daddy, Merry Christmas." Sydney smiled, pulling open the door and stepping back to welcome him home. _

_"I'm sorry I'm late. I was held up at the office." Jack rambled as Sydney took his briefcase excitedly; his eyes scanning the room, and heart sinking heavily when he saw the meal she'd prepared for them both sitting at the table. "We have a big deal going thro-" He tried to explain away his three hour delay, which was actually an avoidance but Sydney interrupted._

_"It's ok. I understand." She gave him a small grin, taking his hand and leading him to the table. "I made us dinner… with Ellen's help." She smiled sheepishly at the table setting. "We tried to make everything that Mom used to, the way she used to… but she never wrote any of her recipe's down so-" She sighed in defeat and watched as Jack's eyes flashed down to hers. _

_They had always celebrated Christmas Eve with a traditional Swedish Christmas Eve dinner that 'Laura' had growing up Swedish in 'Iowa.' _

_Jack had always had the nanny prepare something for dinner over the last few years since 'her' death, but this was the first year that Sydney had taken the initiative to prepare the exact replica dinner her mother had always prepared in their fabricated life. _

_The gesture rocked Jack, reminding him once more of the lie that was their life… the lie he had to keep going for Sydney's sake._

_"I'm sure its wonderful, Sydney, thank you." He gave her a forced, pained smile that barely graced his lips, though was enough to bring a full smile to hers._

_"It's probably cold, I need to reheat it." Sydney moved to gather the food items and Jack snapped out of it to help her. _

_Not a word was spoken through the awkward dinner and clearing of plates and dishes. Silence seemed to be the most comfortable thing between them. _

_Jack filled his glass with Scotch before taking a seat in the chair facing the tree in the dark as Sydney went down on her knees to access the gifts. _

**_*Papa Can You Hear Me*_**

_"Here Daddy." She smiled, handing him first a card and then her specially wrapped gift for him, the paper covered in tiny airplanes delivering gifts with Santa as the pilot. "This is for you." She smiled widely, desperately trying to get his attention and a reaction._

_Jack set his glass of half drained amber liquor to the side and carefully took the package and card; his eyes immediately taking in the choice of paper. _

_"I picked the paper out just for you. Do you like it?" She asked hopefully, sitting on the floor before him like a begging puppy. _

Jack watching this onscreen before him now, wanted to jump through the screen and kick his own ass seeing his daughter basically begging for his attention and affection literally at his feet, looking for the slightest bit of acknowledgement, love from him.

_"Yes. It's nice, Sydney." He gave her another forced smile as his heart sank even deeper with the lasting lie of her believing he sold airplane parts. _

_Slowly he pulled out the card and opened it to reveal her report card, scanning it quickly and seeing all 'A's' he gave her a real smile, proud and Sydney's smile lit her face seeing his reaction. _

_"Very good, Sydney." He brushed her cheek with his fingers and then quickly looked away, her eyes so haunting and familiar with their smile of another. He tore through the paper to reveal gold cuff links with tiny planes engraved in them. He sat staring at them for a long moment as Sydney studied his reaction._

_"Thank you." He finally looked up, realizing he hadn't acknowledged her for the gift._

_"I hope you like them… its just that I couldn't think of anything else you'd like and… and I know you wear suits to work everyday so, I thought, maybe you'd like some new cuff links." She shrugged, disappointed over his reaction._

_Jack quickly recovered and plastered on a fake smile, "They're wonderful, Sydney, I do like them. Thank you." _

_She gave him a small smile in return and turned to her own gifts, unwrapping each of them slowly, savoring this time alone with her father, which was a rarity. _

_Her nanny, Ellen, had the night off as well as the following Christmas Day, leaving the two Bristow's alone together. It was obvious to her, her nanny had done all the shopping as she'd gotten everything she had told Ellen she wanted, things her father couldn't possibly have known about as he never asked her what she wanted. _

_He had tried to give her everything she wanted, and in doing so, missed giving her what she really wanted… something special, something from him, something… that meant something, showed he cared. _

_Jack watched her face fall with the last package revealed as she sat staring at the mound of gifts before her, something was missing apparently seeing the frown slowly grace her beautiful face. _

_"What's wrong? You don't like your gifts?" _

_"No Daddy." Sydney forced her own smile turning to him, "Everything is wonderful. Thank you." _

_She began stacking up her gifts to take upstairs with her. _

_Jack watched her carefully, her face revealing the same disappointment it always held every Christmas, every birthday. No matter what he gave her, things she told her nanny she wanted, she never seemed happy or excited about them. It was never what she really wanted… that, was something he couldn't figure out._

_Sydney scooped up her gifts into her arms and walked slowly towards him in the chair, fake smile plastered on her face once more. _

_"Thank you for the gifts, Daddy. Merry Christmas… goodnight." She hesitated a moment before dropping a kiss to his cheek, walking with heavy feet up the steps to her room. _

_Jack sat dazed in the chair listening to the soft click of her door closing behind her. He downed the last of his drink and got up to pour himself another, staring at the Christmas tree until the lights began to blur. _

_Quietly, he made his way up stairs and stopped just outside Sydney's room. Slowly he opened her bedroom door to reveal her sleeping form beneath the blankets of her bed. Her long brown hair twisting and flowing over her pillow, her arm tossed haphazardly up beside her head and the other, clutching the doll her mother had given her, the picture of the two at Halloween, normally residing on her nightstand, now grasped tightly in her hand. The First Edition copy of 'Alice In Wonderland' also given to her by her mother was resting on her lap. The moonlight illuminating the last remnants of tear tracks as she had apparently cried herself to sleep. _

_His own eyes welled with unshed tears with the sight before him. 'She always slept with that doll.' _

_His thoughts wandered as he carefully picked up the book. 'What was it about that doll, this book? Both items were gifts from her mother… something special… something personal… just from her. His daughter wanted the one thing he couldn't give her… her mother… or maybe he could.' He turned quietly and closed the door behind him, making his way to his own room. _

_Sifting through his sock drawer he removed a bottle of vodka and took several swigs staring at the Hope Chest at the end of his bed preparing himself to open it. Gently he knelt on the ground and lifted the latch and lid, 'her' scent immediately invading his senses and forcing his eyes closed with anguish and remembrance._

_Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes and began his quest, moving aside small stacks of t-shirts and baby clothes to reach the bottom. Carefully he removed four books from the bottom, flipping back the cover and running his finger over the inscription within. 'To Laura, All my love forever and a day...Jack.'_

_Quickly, he snapped it shut and set it aside with a grimace on his face and tears of anger and sadness welling in his eyes, he reached into the chest once more, removing another small box. _

_In it, he removed a small stack of photos. He inhaled sharply, sitting on the floor in the darkness and taking in the photo of the face that haunted his dreams and echoed through his daughter's eyes. _

_His hands began shaking in pain and rage; he almost tore the photo of the three of them together in half. Stopping himself from doing so with a sharp gasp of breath as he regained control, quickly selecting a few other photos from the pile and rapidly putting the box back and closing the lid on her, on her scent, on the memories assaulting his mind and heart. _

_He descended the stairs with speed, and set the items under the tree, placing beside them Sydney's report card with a twenty-dollar bill on top as a reward for her perfect scores. _

_Quickly he jotted down a note on a piece of paper and slipped it inside the cover of the top book before rummaging around the tree and finding a stray bow. He plopped it on top of the stack of books and memories and stood rapidly, pausing to look down at the new 'gift,' for his daughter… 'something special, something personal… something of her mother's' before he was out the door intent on drowning his misery and memories, the hurts and the haunts. _

Jack felt his heart begin to race in his chest, the tie around his neck suddenly becoming too tight and his palms sweaty realizing what was coming next in the film and braved a quick glance out the corner of his eye to look at Irina. The tears were already glistening in her eyes from watching the last scene before them, and his mouth became dry thinking about her reaction to what she was about to see, learn.

**_*Hemorrhage*_**

_"Jack…" A beautiful woman answered the door to the apartment with a surprised smile holding a small glass of wine. Her blonde hair hanging loosely down her back and wildly over one shoulder; her black nightgown hugging her body in all the right places. She stepped back to allow him entrance and was caught off guard when Jack suddenly stepped forward, grasping her face in his hands and kissing her roughly, driving them both back into her apartment and kicking the door shut behind them. _

_"Jack…" The woman broke the kiss even as she was stripping Jack of his suit jacket, tie and shirt hurriedly, "What are you doing here? It's Christmas Eve… What's wrong?" _

_"Shhh." Jack whispered softly as his eyes began filling with tears again and her eyes took on a concerned look. "I don't want to talk about it… I need you." He didn't elaborate and quickly closed the distance, closing his eyes and kissing her roughly once more, his hands eagerly pressing into her flesh as he continued to back them up against the wall until her back hit the spot next to her Christmas tree. "I don't want to talk about it." He breathed softly again, trying to convince himself and forget the images assaulting his brain. _

_Images the audience saw of Jack backing Irina as Laura up against a wall, kissing her and beginning to make love to her from the past._

_"I don't want to talk about her." He took a deep breath with eyes still closed and then rapidly ripped the nightgown over the woman's head, pinning her to the wall with his body and lifting her against him. _

_The need to be inside another woman, the need to make himself forget the only woman he ever thought about, his anger and pain driving him on._

_"Ok… ok, Jack." The woman smiled sadly, cupping his face in apparent understanding and nodding. _

_Jack couldn't stand the pity he saw in her eyes, or the understanding and quickly closed the distance, closing his eyes once more and attacking her mouth with his in deep languid kisses while his hands worked over her breasts roughly, thumbs grazing her nipples and then pulled her leg up over his hip while she pushed his pants down._

Sydney's eyes went wide, and she heard an '_oh boy_,' come in the form of a whisper from Weiss down the row with the scene playing out before them, staring unblinking at the screen in wide-eyed shock and then realizing her mother was watching this beside her. Her eyes turned slowly to gauge Irina's reaction and Sydney was quite sure, her mother had ceased breathing watching her father with another woman, staring with the same wide-eyes at the screen as silent rivers of tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Her father looked quite pale and had seemingly sunken down an inch or two into his seat, a pained look on his face watching not the screen, but her mother's reaction as well.

_Jack's mouth moved down her jaw and over to her ear, face nuzzling against her neck and into her hair before resting his forehead against the wall on the spot just beside her head. _

_His eyes blurry with unshed tears and thrust up into her with a grunt making her gasp and he closed his eyes once more, biting back a sob, as the tears began to roll in steady streams down his cheeks while his body began to pound into the woman working towards nothing but release. She wasn't what he really wanted, her body, still completely foreign every time they were together, exactly the way he wanted it; the only way he could have it. He was torn between feeling sad and disgusted at himself, feeling like he was committing adultery with this very invasion of another's body; feeling incredibly angry that 'Irina' was making him feel this way when he wasn't the betraying party, and yet longing for 'Laura,' his wife, missing her terribly and he raged against the fact he was forced to go on without the one he'd loved, the one who'd betrayed him and then left with death… He wasn't sure which of those aspects angered him more. His anguish turning to anger surging him forth and his mouth once again found hers in a brutal kiss, covering her mews and cries of painful pleasure. _

_When he knew she was close he bit her collar bone softly and she cried out into his neck while he continued to pump until he felt his own_ _explosion wrack through his body and hers, sending a second shock wave of pleasure through her and a resounding scream of 'Jack!' The scream of 'Jack' carried over as the scene rapidly cut to Irina, the scream changing to hers in Kashmir and bolting straight up in bed, soaking wet with sweat waking from the nightmarish flashback and panting heavily, tears staining her face. _

Everyone sat wide-eyed and horrified at the transition of one woman's scream of pleasure from Jack, calling out his name as he tried to forget while another, Irina, screamed in pain and desperation for him while being ravaged in prison for the first time, remembering…

_"You're haunted in your dreams." Conrad's voice pierced the darkness and Irina's eyes rapidly flashed to the side, startled and landing on the monk sitting peacefully on the floor a few feet away, studying her in the darkness._

_"What are you doing in here?" Irina asked rapidly, wiping the tears and fingering her hair behind her ear, still panting and unnerved to find him watching her in the dark of morning hours._

**_*Silence-(original mix from Karma)*_**

_"You've been here for five days, Irina and this is the first time you've slept. I was curious as to why you avoided sleep. Now, I know." Conrad gave her a sad smile with head tilted to the side. "The brain has a way of recalling traumatic things in an unconscious state, that a person can control during conscious periods, try to forget. You are a very troubled person, Irina. There is a rage inside you and you are sinking in your silence." He spoke softly and watched as she averted her eyes to look out the window, "Some day, you will have to deal with your demons in the conscious state, or they will never leave you."_

_A single tear slipped silently down her cheek, completely ignored of its existence by Irina as she sat unmoving on the bed, looking out the window._

_"But until that day has come… you need to give your body proper rest without sleeping." He smiled softly when her head whipped around to look at him. "To find a level of peace."_

_"How?" She asked softly._

_"I will teach you." He smiled. _

The scenes that followed showed Irina wearing a light orange robe mediating with Conrad and the other monks perched on an outcrop of rocks over-looking the valley as a soft breeze blew by them; absolutely breathtaking in its beauty.

Julian watching from afar and then through his gaze following as Irina was taught and fought with Conrad and the other monks who were masters in several variations of martial arts such as Karate, Kendo, Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Tai Chi, Kung Fu, Moo Duk Kwan, and Ninjitsu, essentially teaching her to become a Master of each major martial art.

Teaching her to use just her body, various weapons such as swords, bow staffs, sais, nunchucks, knives and various instruments of the throwing kind, her skills progressively getting better and better with each day as her health and wounds improved over the months.

Soon she was fighting all of them, blindfolded and with one arm tied behind her back, using only her hearing to guide her and taking them all down. Her skills astounding her teachers onscreen and the audience watching, to see her master these forms in such a short time that she was now taking out her teachers, masters of the skill.

Lena's voice came over the action as narrator once more Irina's thoughts.

_"I would never be caught by an attacker in the dark again. When I wasn't meditating or training, I was avidly studying the Prophet Rambaldi, spending hours and hours pouring over accent texts and scrolls, conversing with Conrad while each reveal and my connection to it, as well as my daughter's stoked the fire of what would become my obsession over the years to come."_

The montage stopped with Irina in black martial arts clothing practicing Tai-Chi on the edge of a cliff as the sun set behind her in another spectacular shot from a helicopter. Lena's voice continued to reveal Irina's internal thoughts and feelings.

_"I'd been preparing myself for the battles to come, for the journey I was embarking on and what I must do and with that I was clear and focused, I had a purpose once more, everything to gain and nothing left to lose. Inside, I had learned to channel the rage of loss into a driving ambition. I'd learned how to fully control my feelings and emotions, pushing them aside in order to concentrate only on the things at hand, expanding on the compartmentalization I'd already learned in the KGB and Kashmir. Since the assassination attempt, thoughts of Sydney, my daughter, had increased ten-fold and I couldn't stop the ache in my heart for her no matter how well I mastered compartmentalizing in every other issue in the quite moments I was alone. I hadn't seen her or heard anything about her in six years. Her potential involvement in the prophecy made me worry even further for her safety, especially from the KGB. I had already decided that I would withhold a great deal of what I'd learned about Rambaldi's Prophecy from the Agency, especially the parts potentially concerning my child. I had vowed to myself, to become an 'expert' in order to protect her from any threat that may evolve from this prophet's vision the very first day I arrived and Conrad informed me of her potential involvement. By the time I left the monastery nine months later, I had become one. Now it was time to return, to find my would-be assassin and set in motion my plans as the Soviet Union was starting to crumble rapidly." _

* * *

_London - September 1988_

_"General," Vladimir was sitting in the darkened hotel room across the table from her, pouring them both a glass of vodka, "You're looking well." He smiled softly and handed her the glass when she smiled in return. _

_"Thank you and please… call me Rina, Vladimir. We've been friends too long." She nodded softly with a small smile and read the nervousness in his eyes. "Your message said you have information for me." _

_"I do." Vladimir nodded and stood, gathering two files from a safe behind the framed painting. "Have been you been back to Moscow since your return?" He asked quietly with curiosity as he took a seat once more. _

_"No, I came directly here after I received your message. Why?" She narrowed her eyebrows. _

_"During your absence, the presence of the mafia has grown considerably and are now taking over the weakening government… things are rapidly spinning out of control..." He looked at her sadly with concern and Irina's eyebrows pinched together sharing his unease over the situation. "I hadn't been back in years before this past summer but what I saw," He shook his head. "I'd never been so happy to return to Berlin." He sighed and set the top folder in front of_ her, _"Speaking of Berlin, it is why I asked you to meet me here. We found your assassin. Steven Taylor MI5 agent assigned to assassinate you after your last mission in London to assassinate the defector Darkovichov." _

_Irina's eyebrow rose slightly as she flipped open the file and looked at the picture of her assassin. His eyes, the same haunting eyes that flashed in her dreams now, mingling with the rest of her demons. _

_"It seems the British have grown tired of losing their Soviet assets to the top KGB assassin of Smyert Shpionam." He poured her another healthy dose of the clear liquid, knowing she'd probably need it looking over the file of the man she was about to kill, a man who had almost killed her. "According to our intelligence, the East German Stasi have gotten reports he's come back at least twice to Berlin to 'finish the job' and has been spotted in both Leningrad and Moscow looking for you. His last trip to Berlin, I found him and followed him back here, to London, and have been keeping tabs on him since… waiting for you to return, knowing you'd want to deal with this matter yourself." He eyed her carefully, taking in her appearance and seeing something different in her eyes he couldn't quite place, and even more worried for her. He realized the first moment he saw Irina after her return to Russia the girl he once knew was gone. "Everything you need is in that file. He won't stop until he kills you." _

_"Then I must kill him first." She replied evenly barely above a whisper as she slowly closed the file. "Thank you. I do want to handle this matter myself, he's made it personal." She tilted her head with a sigh, thinking about the way the man had chosen to kill her and saw the flicker in Vladimir's eyes, he was holding something back, "What aren't you telling me, Vladimir?"_

_"I'm not supposed to be telling you this." He fidgeted nervously, breathing rapidly and downing his drink before going on. "But I feel I have to warn you. I fear that if the Soviet Union falls, you will become a target for someone else."_

_"What are you talking about?" Irina's curiosity peaked hearing this was information he wasn't supposed to be divulging to her and her heart beating rapidly in her chest as a tingle raced up her spine. "Irina, five years ago, in the spring of '83 a Swedish History Professor was captured and held in my East Berlin office for two weeks on suspicion of being a foreign operative. I was not in the office at the time. I was in Moscow and this man was released and cleared of suspicion before my return." _

_Irina's eyebrow slanted as she listened, waiting for an explanation and what this had to do with her. _

_"When I returned, and saw the photos… the video file of this man's interrogation. I recognized him immediately." Vladimir poured himself another drink and topped off Irina's, a bead of sweat forming on his brow. "The man in question was not the Swedish Professor he had convinced everyone he was, but actually an agent of the CIA, one who was in East Berlin in order to secure a KGB file on a deceased agent."_

_Irina's eyes refused to blink as her heart began to thunder in her ears listening, trying desperately not to show emotion._

**_*In Dreams*_**

_"He was successful in that he returned to the States with a KGB file on Irina Derevko. Irina, the agent was your… was Jack Bristow." He pushed the file gently towards her. "He came to East Berlin, specifically to meet with a Soviet contact, Darkovichov, in order to obtain information on you."_

_"Jack was in Berlin… He has my file?" She asked with a controlled voice barely above a whisper. "He came looking for me?" A slight shred of hope shot through her with the possibility._

_"Yes, he was in Berlin and has been twice since, looking for more information on you but the file he has, is not your real KGB file. it was a decoy file the agency made for you, after word was put out that the FBI began investigating you. The file says you were an only child so you have nothing to worry about with Katya and her safety." He took a deep breath watching as Irina nodded, thankfully, "And no, he wasn't looking for you. He believes that you are dead. He was only after information. I'm only telling you this now, because we arrested the contact he met with last, four months ago and in that interrogation we found that Bristow has a deep hatred of you and our contacts inside the CIA said he has become an unfeeling, volatile, dangerous man, a wild card." He paused, "And if he were to find out you were still alive, which is a possibility with our country's uncertain future, I fear he would come after you. And you deserve to know that is a possibility." _

_"A deep hatred…" Irina echoed his statement of Jack's feelings,_ _confirming his sentiment she'd heard in his debriefing tapes and finally crushing the last bit of fantasy hope she'd held that someday, somehow, Jack would find out she was alive and come to find her, in spite of who she really was, because he loved her no matter what. Hearing what Jack had become, reminded her of what she had become. She would deal with this information later, alone and in private but for now, she slipped on her mask, one she was quite comfortable wearing now. "Thank you for telling me. I should be going." She gave him a slight smile and stood, gathering both files and leaving the full glass of vodka for him, intent on not showing the effect the news had on her. "I'll be in touch and I have an idea of how to handle the mafia." She gave him a small nod with something he couldn't quite discern in her eyes._

_"Be careful, Rina." Vladimir stood and kissed both cheeks. _

**_*Kissing You (Instrumental)*_**

_Irina slid quietly into the back of the car and sat silently staring at the file folders in her hand for a long while as the car pulled away and drove on through the London streets, towards her own hotel. She inhaled a shaky breath with tears already building as she softly opened the top file, exposing to her for the first time, a picture of Jack, the first she'd seen since Kashmir. Her breath hitched as she stared down at him, her finger lightly brushing over the curve of his jaw in the photo and the tears fell over her eyelids. _

_Sounds and images from the past were mixing through her mind in flashes with the repeated chant of 'deep hatred' echoing loud and slowly over past declarations of his love for her. The ill-fated words of Romeo to Juliet, the same words Jack had spoken to her, just before she left mixed in with song overlaying the images onscreen and bringing tears to everyone's eyes once more. _

_"My only love sprung from my only hate, too early seen unknown, and known too late. Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy…" She repeated in a whisper looking at his face once more, closing the file and wiping her tears. _

Lena's voice broke through once more as we watched Irina onscreen staring silently out the rain-slicked windows into the black night, with tears still running down her cheeks.

_"I had finally realized, on this rainy night in London, that our love was over… gone… nothing but a memory, not even… just ash and dust… and all that was remained in the wake of a once great love, were a mass of intense motions for Jack that I had begun to channel… finding my own deep hatred that would allow me to go on without him, go on with knowing, it was really gone… and I'd never truly felt so alone in all my life." _

Jack's breath in the audience had caught hearing the slight hope of 'he came looking for me' and his eyes filled with tears, realizing fully now, why there was awe and surprise in her voice over the past year when he had come for her in Kashmir, finally; her last bit of hope that he'd come for her; had died that night in London. She had let go of the last tiny thread still buried inside her for them ever reuniting.

His fingers linked more tightly with Irina's drawing her attention, she turned to him with red teary eyes, staring intently into his own for a moment before they both leaned in slowly and kissed softly, closing their eyes and letting it linger, thankful that they had found each other once more, that their love '_wasn't gone_.'

"I love you." He whispered so that only she could hear in the large theatre, their noses brushing and eyes still drawn to each other.

"I love you." She echoed the sentiment with a soft smile, kissing his lips quickly once more before they turned their attention back to the screen.

* * *

_Milan, Italy_

_Irina watched her sister from across the lobby at the theatre, studying her sister for the first time since her return in person and taking in the changes and the things that remained the same. _

_Katya was smiling at her friends and looking radiant, stunning in her floor length black gown and shawl draped loosely around her arms. Her laughter rang out and sliced through Irina with bittersweet sadness hearing it for the first time in almost twenty years, forcing her to fight back tears remembering the times when they'd laughed together. _

_Irina was dressed to kill, looking absolutely fabulous in her own rite in a burgundy dress quite similar to her sister's, both apparently still favoring the same tastes. _

_People were passing between them momentarily interrupting her view though her eyes were locked onto Katya's profile. _

**_*Tania*_**

_Katya seemed to sense she was being watched and turned her head, her eyes immediately landing on Irina's dark pools, still hollow and without the spark she longed to see again. _

_They stare at each other for a moment before Katya excused herself with a smile to her friends and forced her feet to walk towards Irina, her heart beating rapidly in her chest with nervousness. _

_When she was but a few feet away, Irina turned suddenly motioning with her eyes for Katya to follow her out onto the balcony. She stopped just at its stone edge over looking the courtyard below and closed her eyes briefly hearing the soft click of Katya's heels drawing nearer, summoning her courage. _

_Katya followed Irina's move and the two stood silently side-by-side for a moment over looking the grounds below before Katya turned her head, braving her first up-close look at her conscious sister in nearly years. Tears immediately pricking her eyes as she took in Irina, alive, before her. _

_"You are looking much better then I last saw you." Katya's voice cracked even as she spoke softly, trying desperately to keep the emotion from her voice. "Are you safe now?" She added quietly. _

_"From that threat, yes." Irina's eyes darted briefly to Katya's but unable to hold her sister's gaze at such a close proximity and equally tormented by the couple below kissing in the moonlight; her eyes seeking refuge by concentrating instead on a single tree in the distance. "There will be more… significantly more." She fingered her hair behind her ear and Katya swallowed hard seeing a remnant of her sister in the ghost of the woman beside her; her eyes burning with fresh tears at the gesture and the words flowing from Irina's mouth of more threats to come. "Which is why I am here." Irina inhaled softly, pausing briefly all too aware she was being scrutinized by Katya, feeling her eyes rake over her face and hoping that her mask was hiding the torrent of emotions threatening to spill out. "Our country is falling apart… something needs to be done." Her gaze remained fixated on the Weeping Willow tree blowing softly in the cool breeze. "I will be a target for the change that is to come. I know I have no right to ask…" She paused to inhaling another shaky breath before forging on, "But I do ask, that you stay away from Russia for the time being… for your own safety and that of your family." She swallowed hard and Katya did as well, nodding in agreement before turning her attention from Irina to the same tree, unable to stop the building tears in her eyes with concern, and not for her or her family…but for her sister. "No matter what happens to me, Katya, you must stay away… its too risky." She added knowing her sister had come to her bedside after the last assassination attempt. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Katya's head whipped to hers and was unable to stop herself from meeting her sister's intense blurry gaze with fear stricken through her eyes, mouth slightly ajar in shock. "For your own protection, please..." Irina couldn't bare to see the unshed tears in her sister's eyes and quickly turned away from the balcony, "I'm sorry… so sorry." She added softly, walking briskly towards the French doors and away from her. _

_"Irina!" Katya called out after her the moment she realized what was happening, that Irina had just apologized for so much more then this last request, and she couldn't let her sister leave without acknowledging it somehow; her cry out, bringing Irina to a sudden stop. _

_Slowly, Irina turned back to catch her sister's gaze and watched as a single tear escaped, rolling down Katya's cheek and illuminated by the moonlight. _

_"Be careful." Katya added softly and Irina nodded, turning rapidly once more and bolting for the door; her own emotions threatening to spill forth if she remained. _

_When she was gone, out of sight, Katya clasped her hand over her mouth to cover the small sob as her eyes closed and the tears rained down in anguish. Realizing that this had been an opportunity, now come and gone to reach out to her sister and tell her, that she 'did' love her; that she forgave her and now, she was faced with losing her all over again. It was clear that Irina no longer cared if she lived or died. The deep gorge between them seemed impossible to cross with so many hurts between them. _

* * *

The film scene changed to a blustery cold and snowy evening in the Soviet Union.

_Moscow - October 1988~_

Irina was dressed like a beautiful businesswoman in a black pant and jacket suit but that was clearly a deadly illusion as the audience along with Julian and Dmitri onscreen watched her stuff various weapons into concealed holsters around her body and beneath her clothes in her apartment. She gave them a soft smile and nod before grabbing her jacket and entering the elevator with five security members.

Lena's voice once again narrated the events about to transpire.

_"I'd realized there was only one way to deal with the mafia and anarchy about to break out in my country. I could not stop the mafia, but I could control it by taking over." _

**_*Dragula*_**

With that Irina, joined by at least twenty other armed men burst through a set of doors in a club downtown Moscow, making their way to the back room and completely taking over as they went, killing all mob security personnel firing upon them as they went, Irina clearly on a mission as she charged forth through the room amidst gunfire to the back room.

_"What the-" The large man in charge halted his stance when ten guns trained on him, Irina standing before him with a decidedly deadly look in her eyes. "Who the hell are you?" He demanded seething venom. _

_"You will address General Derevko with respect!" One of her men stepped forward and smashed the butt of his gun across the man's cheek, drawing blood and whipping his head around. _

_His right hand man immediately drew his weapon about to fire and in a split second, Irina threw her arm up, stiletto sliding down her forearm through her fingers and into the man's neck, making him gurgle and gasp, choking on his own blood with wide terrified eyes before collapsing face first, dead onto the table._

_"Derevko…" The man gasped wiping the blood from his lip with wide eyes, looking down at the dead body in front of him as his second in command's blood pooled on the table, "You're the Super-killer… for SMERSH." Fear immediately ripping through the man who was otherwise fearless with the name, title and organization she represented, his body visibly trembling. No sane man, dare ever to say the name of that division of the KGB called the, 'Death to Spies,' a division that had never failed in assassinating traitors._

_"Change of plans Markov, I'm in charge now." Irina's eyes slanted and a coy deadly smile appeared on her lips. _

A montage of scenes consisting of bloody takeovers followed in rapid succession as Irina and her men took over each branch of one mafia family and then another in the coming days and weeks.

_Leningrad - October 31st, 1988 _

_Irina was leaving the back of a warehouse in Leningrad, surrounded by her guards and followed by a former Don of one of the branches she had just taken over. _

_The former mafia leader suddenly whipped his arm up and fired a single shot into Irina's back, thrusting her forward with momentum falling face first onto the ground as the rapid fire of machine gun bullets tore through the air, mowing down the cowardly man who shot her in the back. _

_She winced and rolled onto her side, the snow around her quickly turning crimson with the blood spilling out of her body. Her guards quickly, picking her up and shuffling her into a black limo, racing off into the night and leaving the dead mafia leader sprawled out, riddled with bullets bleeding out in the snow. _

Katya's eyes burned with tears and she sniffled, Marcelo kissing her hand, both of them remembering the phone call from Dmitri not long after Irina came to her in Italy, to inform them Irina had been shot in the back and her life once more was in peril. Respecting her sister's wishes, Katya stayed away from Russia then, understanding the turmoil her homeland was in and her sister's deadly efforts to save it.

The months rolled by onscreen through the montage and each battle bloodier then the last.

_"The turf wars between the remaining five, mafia families broke out in Moscow with the beginning of the fall of the Soviet Union in 1989 and total chaos erupted; people were killing each other in the streets with baseball bats and fists in the bloodiest mafia war in world history."_ Lena's calm voice overlapped the complete chaos on screen with people fighting, bats swinging, skulls crushing and bodies left behind in actual newsreel footage. _"Former officers of the KGB and other governmental agencies were all clamoring for a bit of the power. Many new organizations sprang up with various purposes. Gerard Cuvee,"_ The screen flashed to his profile looking around the streets of Moscow as he exited his limo, _"Started his own organization, K-Directorate and began working in tandem with my organization to put down the rebellions across the city. With the strength of the organization growing, I needed someone to handle the day-to-day operations of the business, while I took care of things behind the scenes."_

Images of Irina meeting with Mikhail Gorbachev inside the Kremlin flashed before everyone and small gasps went through the theatre at how far Irina's power and influence reached in such a short amount of time.

_"Alexander Khasinau gladly stepped into that role." _

Images of Irina going over papers with both Khasinau and Cuvee around a table flashed forward as Lena's narration over the images continued to cover large spans of time.

_"I'd begun to live by the motto, 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' To me, this was the perfect solution to a great many of my problems. Having them near and being able to work with them, instead of having them work against me, served my purposes in the long run… not that they knew that."_

* * *

**_*Ochi Chernye (Dark Eyes)*_**

The scene changed once more and showed Irina decked out in form fitting black leather pants and jacket, healed boots and stilettos twirling in her fingers entering a bar, a lone bodyguard waiting anxiously for her by the car.

_"Conrad's words of dealing with demons in the conscious state were ever present in my mind, especially having to work with Cuvee and Khasinau on a daily basis. Since I couldn't face 'those' demons while I still needed to work with them, I decided to 'let go' of some of my ever building rage on the targets I could… and on my own time, hunted down and killed every one of my attackers in Kashmir within weeks. Other than Cuvee, only one remained… the very first guard who'd raped me, Roman Berlanski."_

A flash of the man stepping towards the table she was shackled to, his fingers caressing the skin of her abdomen before he violently ripped her pants off.

_Irina slipped into the bar's doors and sought out her target through the smoke filled atmosphere._

_Packed entirely with men, all activity came to a screaming halt when the beautiful brunette stepped through the door, greedy eyes stealing their glances without trying to be discreet at all._

_Catcalls and whistles rang out through the drunken crowd and Irina's eyes found her target sitting on a stool near the end of the bar. Her eyes glazed over with murderous intent and the guard's eyes flashed with recognition when her gaze locked onto his, a dangerous smile on her face seeing the fear there. He had heard what she'd become upon her release, the top assassin in the KGB's division of 'super-killers' called SMERSH, so widely feared, the name of 'super-killer' was rarely uttered as if taboo. He had witnessed her breaking, had been part of it in Kashmir and never felt threatened by any potential retaliation from her after her re-education._

_She had been incredibly polite, responsive and even smiling upon her release from the prison, on the arm of Gerard Cuvee, a man who had done far worse things to her._

_His life never felt threatened until this last month, when he learned of his former friends sudden deaths and disappearances all in connection with a beautiful deadly brunette in black leather. Somewhere inside him, he knew it was 'The Romanov,' come for revenge and so he had moved into hiding in this remote part of Minsk. Now, his suspicions were confirmed staring into her cold dark eyes and he swore he saw his own life flash to an end there._

_Stumbling backwards off the stool in an attempt to get away from her, he tripped and hit the wall behind him; his body trembling violently as she slowly stalked towards him, the men around her parting before her._

_Before he could move further she threw her right arm and lodged her stiletto, piercing him through the skin and muscle just above his collarbone and into the wall, keeping him in place._

_Shaking her finger at him and making a 'tsk, tsk' noise at him with her tongue with a smile as she glared at him, twirling the remaining stiletto in her hand._

_"Where are you going, Comrade Berlanski? I thought you'd like to stick around," Her gaze flashed to the knife holding him to the wall and the trail of blood seeping through his shirt, "Catch up."_

_The man knew there was no out, he would die as everyone in the bar stared at the two with wide-eyes of fear, no one daring to move, seeing her deadly throw and the homicidal look in her eyes._

_"Why Derevko? Did you miss me? Did you miss this?" He thrust his groin forward grabbing his crotch having snapped, hoping his death would come swiftly and taking these last few moments of life to goad her._

_Irina simply cocked her head to the side, one eyebrow rising slightly. None of the others had taunted her, instead, they pleaded for their lives… he must have known his death was a forgone conclusion and decided to make an attempt at rattling her._

_"Because, I know I've missed having a kept whore around. The last time, I believe you had the pleasure, was a few days before your release from solitary. Yes, that's right." He laughed as though he were truly insane looking around at the other men in the bar. "I remember that day so clearly; first we turned the fire hose on you, blasted your clothes right off and the filth and grim, of course. Almost blasted you away, you were so fucking weak and pathetic by then you couldn't even stand, just huddled in that damn corner." He mocked her and Irina's pulse picked up speed._

The images he was describing began flashing before her eyes and that of the audience as he recanted his tale of horror. These were some of the first scenes they had filmed with Lena, the already tiny woman having lost a considerable amount of weight to portray the reality of Irina's condition at that time in the film, nothing but skin and bones.

It had taken weeks after these shots were filmed to bring her back to full health with the incredible tone and muscle mass she sported throughout the rest of the film.

_"It was so cold in that cell, the water… freezing." Berlanski moved his hand to rub his own nipples suggestively with a sick smirk, "I can still feel your body trembling beneath mine and see it when I close my eyes." He smiled and closed his eyes before flashing them open. "You just laid there like the whore you are, enjoying every last minute of it. Sadly, it wasn't until that last day that we realized how much fun it was to fuck you two at a time in, what was it that we called it?" He cocked his head with a dangerous gleam, "A Royal Whore Sandwich. Yes that's it!" His laughter rang out through the otherwise silent bar._

The flash before Irina's eyes showed Berlanski with his back against the cell wall, holding a rail thin Irina up and taking her from the front with one hand fisted into her soaking wet hair holding her head up and wrenched to the side, while another officer took her from behind, in a split second close up shot of the top half of their bodies with muted laughter from the other guards watching and grunts from her violators.

Sydney sat absolutely horrified with tears streaming down her face. Just when she thought Kashmir couldn't possibly have been any worse for her mother, she learned something else that rocked her world. She reached her hand over and threaded it with Irina's free hand, squeezing it in silent support.

_When Berlanski's crazed laughter died down, it was quickly replaced with a high pitched scream as Irina let loose with her second stiletto, this time nailing him right between his legs through the offending member._

_"You fucking cunt!" He screamed at her while his legs trembled and threatened to give out, ripping the muscles in his shoulder with the extra weight pulling down against the blade of the knife. "You can kill me and dismember me all you want!" He breathed heavily, spitting in anger and hoping to break her control so she'd just kill him, "But that won't stop the memories of our time together," He sneered, sweat running off his forehead, "Or the fact I had you many times in many ways… and that undoubtedly, some of those little bastards you were knocked up with were mine!"_

_And with that Irina lost what little self control she had left and launched one remaining stiletto up her sleeve at full speed towards him, nailing him in the forehead between the eyes with a sickening crunch as the blade imbedded into his skull up to the hilt, killing him instantly. His body slumped to the floor._

**_*The Matrix Theme (Clubbed to Death)*_**

The audience gasped in surprise, horror and shock, all feeling the man had rightfully gotten what he deserved though they were stunned with what they saw.

The agents in the room were in awe, knowing what kind of force had to be put behind that throw to pierce a skull and imbed so deeply; it sent shivers down all of their spines.

"_Ho-ly shit…"_ Weiss whispered softly with wide eyes to Kendall; the speed and precision of which she threw the baseball suddenly, extremely clear and Weiss' comments on '_why she was so deadly with a knife'_ resounding loudly in their heads.

_Irina casually walked up to the fresh corpse of a man she had imagined killing a thousand times in her life and cocked her head curiously to the side, looking down at his pathetic form. She reached up for the knife still imbedded in the wall and yanked hard, wiping the blood off on his clothing before removing the other two. The one in his head took a little more effort to pull free and she heard the sounds of puking behind her when she yanked hard and released the knife from his forehead._

_Wiping it off with the same blasé attitude, she stared into his eyes watching as they glazed over… the same eyes that haunted her nightmares and reached up, closing them forever, gently with her fingers. Without another word, she stood and turned on her heel, the sea of men once again parting to let her through and out the door into the dark of night._

* * *

_Northern India_

_"Berlanski was right," Lena's voice broke through once more, overlaying the scene of Irina bolting upright in bed, waking from another nightmare. "I had killed them all, with the exception of one and still they haunted me. Still, I could feel their hands on my skin, their breath on my ear; smell the stench of liquor seeping from their pores. only now, I saw their blood on my hands. I could not free myself from them… from Sydney… from Jack."_

The song continued on and showed Irina onscreen, quickly jumping out of bed, wearing a tank top and underwear she threw on some shorts and went tearing out into the night as she ran as hard as she could, barefoot in the moonlight through the vast fields of farmland in rural India, tears of anger and anguish streaking down her face.

_"I could not out run the things that haunted me, no matter how hard I tried."_

The flashes of her many rapes in Kashmir mixed with their deaths with flashes of Sydney and Jack, her mother's death, mingling in as well, came across in bursts as Irina onscreen ran harder and faster through the fields, the harder she ran the faster the images came and went.

The wheat field ended and she tore on through the sugar cane, whipping her violently as she ran on, now dirt and blood mixing with her tears.

The shot of her bare legs tearing through the tall green plants began mixing with flashes of another pair of legs in black pants and boots running just as hard.

Irina's legs altogether disappeared and as the camera panned up the pair of black legs, the transition had been made, exposing Jack as the other runner, clearly on a mission.

_He ran just as hard as she had been and suddenly came to a stop when faced with the outstretched palm before him belonging to Agent Marcot._

_"I think we've lost them. Our ride out of here should be here just before daybreak." The man huffed out of breath and sloughed off his pack, keeping his gun in one hand and dropping down into the black earth amidst the sugar cane._

_Jack and the other agent, Falcon, followed suit and sloughed off their packs and dropped down beside him; Jack unscrewing the cap to his water and drinking greedily, wiping the sweat from his brow._

_"Jeezuz fuck! It's humid in this country!" Falcon cursed softly, pouring water over his face and wetting the bandana around his neck._

_"It's not as bad as it was that one mission here… what was it, ten years ago…" Marcott furrowed his brow in thought, "In '79, when we had to traipse through that fucking jungle with the mosquitoes eating us alive." He laughed softly shaking his head. "Arvin was like the prime-rib special. He looked like raw hamburger by the time we reached Delhi at the end of that month."_

_"I had a hell-of-a time trying to explain to my now ex-wife…the bitch," Falcon sneered with a demented laugh, "Why the hell I was beat to piss, raw with insect bites and had jungle rot on my left foot when I had supposedly been in Germany selling landing gear."_

_"I think we all had that problem." Marcott laughed softly, digging in his pack for an MRE._

_"Except you," Falcon looked pointedly at Jack through the darkness, "You told your 'wife' exactly what you had been up to, didn't you?"_

_Jack's only response was to return the gaze and then take a swig of water. He didn't need this now._

Images of his' own homecoming and flashes of his reunion with her in their kitchen and on the table blazed across the screen.

The fact that they were both in India mere miles apart that night, eerie to everyone in how closely their lives paralleled, so close to intersecting and not knowing it.

_"Not now…" Marcott returned the pointed look at Falcon with a sigh, getting sick of having to go through this routine constantly._

_"What?" Falcon shrugged with what he hoped were innocent eyes, "I said he told his 'wife' instead of the 'Commie bitch."_

_"Just stop, ok?" Marcott spat at him, seeing Jack was content with silence even though he saw his glaring white knuckles grasping his canteen._

_"He doesn't care." Falcon nodded towards Jack, "He hates that bitch just as much if not more then any of us now." He flopped his pack around, "I remember that day in the car when I first laid eyes on her… all wet and washing the car in your drive-way," Falcon smirked, getting comfortable settling back against his pack and pulling one leg up to bend at the knee. "We were on our way to the plane for that mission, and had to stop by your house to get some stuff, tell your 'wife' you were going out of town. She really did look like a wet dream come to life man." His smirk became lopsided as he looked at Jack. "I remember thinking what a 'lucky son-of-a-bitch' you were at the time but, shit, it turned out I was the lucky son-of-a-bitch even with my horrid wife!" He gloated. "But tell me, I've always wondered since we found out about Derevko… that day, when you pulled her into the house… you did tell her where we were going then, didn't you? I know you told her everything… I was just curious."_

"I never told her 'everything." Jack responded in a low growl.

_"But almost, everything." Falcon goaded him and Jack stared him down with intense eyes and a rigid posture._

_"Enough, asshole!" Marcott threw a handful of dirt at Falcon, "Jeezuz! Do you have to keep goading him! It's been years and still, you bring this shit up!"_

_"Oh fuck off, Marcott!" Falcon threw his water canteen at the man with venom in his voice, "I'm just fucking with him!"_

_"No, fuck you!" Marcott threw it back at him, "You continue to bring this shit up because you were so fucking jealous of his life, of his wife back then that you couldn't see straight!" He'd finally had enough and let the man have it, "And when his life was blown out of the water and the wife you were jealous of turned out to be a fabricated illusion you were ecstatic and now can't simply resist taunting him over that fact again and again! What the fuck kind of friend are you?"_

_Jack's eyes flashed between Marcott's and Falcon's with surprise and a rage seething beneath._

_"Shut the fuck up!" Falcon launched forward._

_"What? Did I hit too close to home with the truth?" Marcott shot back, clearly having had enough of this constant taunting over the years._

_"Oh fuck you! Mr. Righteous Indignation! I've been a damn better friend then I had to be after all this! Considering!" Falcon kept his eyes on Marcott but flicked his head towards Jack._

Irina's heart was breaking, listening to the torment Jack had suffered through and understanding more and more how he had become the man she first met behind the glass that day. Understanding why, and how his hatred for her had evolved.

_"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Jack's anger was fuming now._

_"Meaning, I should be the one that's pissed you told the bitch as much as you did… putting all our lives at risk!" Falcon fired back and Jack gulped, though his rage still present._

_"Shhh!" Marcott suddenly threw his hand up to stop any rebuttal from Jack and silence fell upon them immediately when they heard it too, the crack of a foot on a sugar cane shoot. "Move!" He whisper yelled and they all scrambled to stand, with weapons ready._

_The sound of another crack of a cane shoot and then gunfire had them sprinting forward, firing behind them._

_All of them internally cursing themselves for letting their guards down and getting distracted with bickering to hear they'd been located._

_The sound of the chopper blades caught their ears in the distance and they ran as hard as they could toward the deep purple in the east where the sun was beginning to rise. They broke through the sugar cane under heavy gunfire from behind and sprinted towards the black chopper landing in the open field._

_"Run!" Falcon motioned them forward, "I'll cover you!" He screamed turning back and spraying fire into the field where their pursuers were breaking through the field as well._

_Jack and Marcott broke for the chopper and launched themselves aboard, immediately turning to cover Falcon._

**_*Inferno*_**

In that split second they watched as a bullet hit Falcon in the neck and spun him around.

_"Shit!" Jack screamed and threw himself off the deck, "Cover us!" He screamed over the hum of the blades as he ran out to grab Falcon, now lying on the ground, holding his neck and gurgling on his own blood. His eyes looking up at Jack's with terror; Jack scooped him up and threw him over his shoulder while bullets zipped past them in both directions._

_He ran back and threw Falcon onto the deck just as the helicopter took off with Marcott continuing to cover them until they were safely in the air._

_Jack scrambled to retrieve first aid supplies from his bag and when he turned back, was met with glassy eyes. The bullet had gone straight through Falcon's jugular, and he was dead._

_Jack stare into the man's eyes for a moment before slowly reaching over, and gently closing them for a final time._


	16. Chapter 16

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Leave No Man Behind from Black Hawk Down Soundtrack, Home Movies by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, In Dreams by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan, Thriller by Michael Jackson, Exit Stage Right by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, Walkaway **_**by Thomas Newman from**_** Meet Joe Black Soundtrack, Whoomp! There It**_** Is! by Tag Team****,**_** The Ditty **_**by Paperboy**_**, The Journey, Yekeleni Part One, Cry in Silence, Yekeleni Part Two "Carnage" all by Hans Zimmer from Tears of The Sun Soundtrack.**_

* * *

SIXTEEN

o

**_*Leave No Man Behind*_**

_Gyrady, Siberia, Soviet Union_

_Talia slowly put her knitting needles into her lap, gazing over the railing of her porch believing herself to be seeing a ghost. _

_"Anya…" She whispered in a voice that only she could hear and when the figure, with arms folded protectively around herself, began to move towards her, she knew. "Irina…" She called out softly with a cracked voice, tears already building in her eyes. _

_Irina's own eyes blurred with unshed tears as she stepped onto the porch, taking in the sight of the woman. _

_Slowly, Talia stood and walked the remaining steps to stand before Irina, her eyes scanning the woman before her, looking for the young girl she once knew so well. The light, the spark, the innocence that had been before was now gone when she looked into the familiar dark eyes. Her trembling hand reached out to stroke Irina's cheek and when she did, a lone tear spilled over Irina's lashes and met with her warm fingers there. The first motherly touch Irina had in years. _

_"For a moment… I thought you were your mother." Talia cried in a strangled voice and engulfed Irina into her arms, both crying; Irina silently while Talia sobbed. _

_Slowly, Irina returned the embrace and turned her face into the woman's neck crying with her. _

The scene faded away and came back with them both sitting on the porch swing, cups of steaming tea in hand, talking and both with tears running down their cheeks.

_"I hadn't seen Talia since the day before I left for America more then half my lifetime ago,"_ Lena's voice narrated softly, _"After my release from prison… I was ashamed… and I couldn't bare to face her, tell her what happened to her son without facing what had happened to me in that place… For I could not think about one, without the other and that was not something I could afford to do… especially verbalize… but with time, came the ever present need to reach out to her, to tell her exactly what had happened to Mikhail and I had felt confident enough in my ability to compartmentalize to tell his story, while blocking out my own." _

Mikhail didn't bother to wipe the tears he knew were now running down his cheeks and glanced down the aisle towards Irina. He closed his eyes and sighed as more tears took over seeing onscreen what she'd done for him, for his family at cost to herself.

_"Thank you, for telling me." Talia reached over and patted Irina's hand in her lap with a soft smile through her tears. "I've been wondering for so long, what had happened to my son." She choked back a sob, wiping at her eyes and smiling at Irina again, "Thank you, child." She nodded, and clasped Irina's fingers in her own. "I have something for you, come with me." She stood, not releasing Irina's hand and taking her inside. _

_The camera followed them through the house until they reached Talia's bedroom. _

_Talia released Irina's hand, motioning her to sit on the end of the bed and moved into the closet, pushing aside some shoes and pulling back a rug. _

_Beneath it, she pulled on a loose board and retrieved a large silver tin box while Irina watched with a curious gaze and arched eyebrow. Natalia smiled, standing up and with tears already building in her eyes, set the box carefully on the bed beside Irina. _

_"Your father brought this here." Talia started and Irina's head snapped up to meet her gaze, "Just after they took your mother." She reached over and softly caressed Irina's cheek seeing the pained look in Irina's eyes as well as the building tears. "He was afraid they would confiscate them to use against you but he didn't have the heart to destroy them either." She dropped her hand with a sad smile from Irina's cheek and opened the tin. _

**_*Home Movies*_**

_Irina gasped loudly with hand flying to her mouth, covering a silent sob as the tears surged forth staring down at the piles of photos of Sydney and Jack and her life in America, photos and films she had sent back to her parents. Photos and memories that had only existed in her mind that she had been trying so hard to block out, as they were too painful. _

_Talia's own tears let loose watching Irina's reaction and carefully picked up a photograph of Sydney, curled up in Irina's lap, snuggling under a towel on the beach the summer before she left. _

_Talia turned the photo to Irina, "Your Sydney is so beautiful."_

**_*In Dreams*_**

_The statement caused Irina's tear filled eyes to flash from the photograph to Talia's eyes and then back down again as she hesitantly reached out to touch it, her finger just barely grazing Sydney's face in the photo before she pulled it back as if burned. She stood rapidly, "I can't, I can't…" She shook her head 'no' and stumbled backwards on the verge of losing it and bolted from the room. _

"Ok, this is fucking sad…" Weiss sniffled with tears coursing down his own cheeks completely distraught inside and he hiccupped and wiped at his eyes trying to contain his tears and emotions getting the best of him. He glanced sideways and to his surprise, Kendall wa shedding just as many tears and appeared to be choking back his emotions.

"Oh, Mom…" Sydney cried softly, sitting beside Irina, eyes burning painfully with tears and face contorted trying to hold back from sobbing. "I love you… so much." She whispered as Irina palmed her face and brought their foreheads together. Irina kissed her quickly on the cheek afraid to speak feeling the same intense emotions watching the scene and remembering, thankful to have her child back.

"I love you too. Forever and always…" She returned in a whisper, kissing her cheek once more and then her hand clasped tightly in her own, locking blurry eyes.

_"Rina…" Talia called out softly, placing a hand on Irina's shoulder as she stood staring out into the forest of trees on the other side of the road. The photo of Sydney in Irina's lap held in her other hand. "What can't you do?" _

_"I can't… I just can't." Irina answered barely above a whisper, desperately trying to hold back a sob as she stared out into the tree line. _

_"You can't what?" Talia probed, knowing exactly what Irina was talking about and it tore her apart with sadness. "You can't look at a picture of your child?"_

_"No!" Irina sobbed, wiping at her tears and refusing to turn around. _

_"Look at her, Irina." Talia probed gently, embracing Irina from behind with one arm while holding the picture in front of her. "Look at her." She nudged Irina softly when she refused to look down. _

_"No…" Irina inhaled a shaky sob. "I can't." _

_"Why not? She's a part of you… always. I will not let you forget her!" Talia cried softly._

_"I can't forget! That's the problem!" Irina snapped at her sharply through her tears though Talia only squeezed her more into her side. "I have to forget… I can't survive otherwise." _

_"No child! You are wrong! You won't survive if you do!" Talia cried, turning Irina in her arms and placing her palms against Irina's cheeks. "She is your heart! You are already a walking ghost and if you keep trying to force yourself to forget, I fear you will lose your soul completely… I'm afraid for you, child, please! I will do whatever I can to save you! I've already lost one child! I will not lose another!" She cried, thumbing away Irina's tears, having loved Irina like a daughter most of her life. _

_"I left my heart in America… and my soul in Kashmir… there is nothing left to save, Talia." Irina answered softly, barely above a whisper. _

_"That is why you must remember!" Talia shook her hand holding Irina's face with raging tears and placed the picture into Irina's palm. _

_Irina's eyes flashed once more the photo and lost the little control she held as Talia swept her into her embrace, holding her while she cried hard and they both sank to the ground sobbing as the older woman rocked her back and forth in her arms._

**_*I Will Remember You*_**

The scene changed back to a large white bed with photos of Sydney, Jack and Irina and her life before, spread out across the bed.

A projector was sitting in the middle as films of her lost life and family played against the plain white wall just beside her closet. Tears were running rampant streams down her face and dripping off her chin as the camera panned down showing Irina leaning back against her bed watching, with the photo of she and Sydney at the beach clutched in her hand.

When Sydney sprayed her with the hose onscreen and she tore off after her giggling little girl, a smile broke through Irina's tears briefly, laughing with them onscreen before another round of tears welled in her eyes at the loss only to be replaced, by yet another smile when Sydney began making faces at the camera in the park next to their house.

* * *

The scene suddenly transitioned and showed Irina walking through the same park in Los Angeles much to everyone's surprise.

_October 1989_

_Irina stuffed her hands into her jacket and walked slowly along the old familiar path in the park just across from her old house. When she reached the cast-iron green bench under the tree, she sat down and smiled softly looking around. _

_There were a group of children playing soccer off to the left of her and with their laughter, she could remember sitting with Jack on this very bench watching the games when Sydney played. _

_To a passerby, she looked like just another mother watching the game. _

_Another laugh caught her ear and she slowly turned her head, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end and for the first time in eight years, laid eyes on her daughter, and gasped as tears immediately flooded her eyes though her smile had never been wider behind her hand. _

_Sydney was walking home from school with Francie and the two were laughing and smiling. The little girl she had left behind, now a young woman of fourteen. _

_Irina had not seen a single photograph of her beyond the age of six and seeing how much time had passed, took her breath away. The dimples, the deep little laugh, her beautiful brown eyes and little ears… she would recognize her daughter anywhere. She watched them as they passed not thirty feet in front of her and resisted the temptation to call out to her. _

_"So I'll see you later tonight?" Francie yelled back as the two parted ways, going towards their respective houses. _

_"Yeah! I'll be there! Are you sure its ok with your mom?" Sydney yelled back, heaving her book-bag up higher on her shoulder. _

_"Oh course! She loves you, Sydney! Sometimes more than me, I think!" Francie yelled back, laughing, as she got further away. "Bring your pajamas! You can stay over!"_

_"Ok!" Sydney's smile radiated with laughter as she stopped just in front of Irina, her back to her mother unknowingly. "Bye Fran!" _

_"Bye Sydney Anne!" Francie yelled back laughing and turned around heading away. _

_"Bye Francesca Marie!" Sydney yelled, louder, giggling. _

_"Bye!" _

_"Bye!" The girls continued to shout and laugh back and forth their goodbyes while Francie walked away._

_A stray soccer ball came flying their way and Sydney turned quickly, kicking it back to the field with a smile. _

_"Thanks!" A little girl smiled, scooping up the ball and waving at Sydney. _

_Sydney just smiled and Irina was lost staring at her daughter's profile, her long brown hair blowing in the breeze, the dimples deepening as Sydney watched the children and then the move that took Irina's breath away, sweeping her hair behind her ear just as generations of Romanov women had done before her. _

_Sydney turned suddenly and half skipped and jogged her way down the small hill and across the street, up the steps of the porch and disappeared into the house. _

_Irina sat with a smile staring at the door for a few minutes before getting up and wiping her tears, walking slowly away. Stuffing her hands into her pockets once more and staring at the ground as she walked away once more, a small smile on her lips as she thought about Sydney. _

_"I will remember you, Sydney." She whispered, her smile growing even as more tears fell. _

Jack and Sydney stared in wide-eyed disbelief at the screen, neither breathing nor moving with the revelation that was just made. _'Irina had come back.' _

Sydney had been within feet of her mother, in front of their house and didn't know it…

_'If she'd just turned around…_' Her eyes darted to her mother's beside her; she had never once told her she had come back, had been so close, just to 'see her.' "_You never said anything…"_

Irina's only response was a small coy smile.

_"I'd seen her."_ Lena's voice flowed over the image of the camera slowly pulling back on Irina continuing to walk down the sidewalk away from the house on that Fall day. _"She was happy, she was healthy… and she was as beautiful as ever. That was enough. I could go on, loving her from afar, remembering."_

**_*Thriller*_**

The scene that followed next immediately bolted everyone into laughter through their tears as Francie, wearing dental head-gear popped up from behind the bed 'howling' along with the song coming from the radio in her room, during the obvious slumber party.

_Sydney laughed hysterically from her position on the floor leaning against a giant beanbag chair in her pajamas. _

_Francie hopped up onto the bed and started dancing just as her mother came into the door, stopping in her tracks and laughing at her daughter with Sydney. Francie jumped off the bed and yanked on Sydney's arm pulling her up to stand beside her. _

_"Come on Syd, do it!" Francie encouraged her with a laughing smile, "Come on!" She yelled, pulling on Sydney's arm while Sydney shook her head blushing. "You're such a chicken! I'll do it with you, come on!" _

_Francie started shaking her hips while her mother leaned against the doorframe, smiling and watching the show. _

_Laughing softly watching Francie starting the 'Thriller' dance, Sydney started bobbing her head and then slowly her body started to dance with her. _

"Oh God…" Sydney snorted and covered her eyes in the darkness of the theatre, knowing what was coming next and trying to hold back her laughter, feeling her cheeks burn bright red with embarrassment.

Before long, both girls onscreen were laughing hysterically as they nailed the dance to perfection with Sydney leading the way.

_Francie's father had heard the loud music and laughter coming from the bedroom and joined his wife standing in the doorway watching them with smiles on their faces. _

Both Jack and Irina couldn't stop the longing, regret and slight jealousy watching these normal parents, enjoying '_their'_ child as well as their own. This was something they'd both missed out on and it hurt. Both pairs of eyes tracked over to their eldest daughter beside them, watching her face glowing with a smile and sharing in the laughter with her friends while laughing hysterically at her onscreen self and Francie.

Will was holding his sides laughing so hard and both Vaughn and Weiss had tears in their eyes from laughing watching Sydney busting a move to the famous song.

The song continued as the scene flashed through a transition back to the falling Soviet Union over the next couple of years, showing a montage of Irina in meetings with various governmental officials, Gorbachev, and working in her organization.

Then to Jack and Irina both watching President Reagan's speech on their separate televisions on opposite sides of the globe, of '_Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!' _

Then Irina was talking to Gorbachev and flashed forward, showing her right there, when they began tearing down the Berlin Wall and then flashing to Jack, just across the street; the two of them so close, in yet another near miss.

Everyone in the audience, besides Katya who knew, sat flabbergasted at just how much Irina had a hand in things.

Then, the montage moved onto when the Soviet Union finally collapsed showing that day in Moscow when the statue of Felix Dzerzhinsky, founder of the KGB, came down and the satellite countries started declaring independence left and right, chaos erupting everywhere and Irina's efforts to bring it under control.

Organizing ways to feed, shelter and take care of the people as well as continuing her search in Rambaldi and assassinating assassins and those who threatened the future and stability of her country. Her growing power within the country evident to everyone as her presence and influence continued to Yeltsin.

Irina throwing knives at a dart board, hitting the bulls-eye with a man's hands over her eyes flashed forth next and Jack swallowed hard, watching as she turned and the man was Stuka, smiling madly at her and in the next scene, Stuka was slamming Irina up against the wall in his darkened apartment, tearing her clothes off as lips clashed and hands groped as they tore off each other's clothes.

The scene rapidly flipped and cut to Jack slamming a dark haired woman into a wall on the opposite side, the two scenes cutting back and forth until they were on split screen.

"Awkward… awkward, ok, that's awkward." Weiss whispered with a smirk, his eyes flashing to the screen and then discreetly down the aisle to where Jack and Irina were sitting staring at the screen.

Irina was biting her lip watching Jack and this other woman, and Jack watching Irina with Stuka, his eyes wide realizing she'd later kill this man, in his presence, in Bangkok.

Kendall was having similar thoughts, remembering clearly, the name of the contact she had taken Jack to meet in Thailand and reading the report of his death by knife at Irina's hand. He gulped and pulled at his bow tie remembering his initial reaction to finding out Jack had climbed into bed with Irina in Panama, someone who could easily kill him as she had no problem doing later with this man.

The images of wild passion continued exploding onscreen making everyone 'hot' and 'uncomfortable' until both pairs of couples fell out of sight off screen when they flopped down onto the bed.

The montage ended with the people of the new Republic of Russia dancing in the middle of Red Square while Irina looked down from her apartment window, glass of vodka in hand with a soft smile on New Year's Eve after the Supreme Soviet ruled the official dissolution of the Soviet Union bringing an end to Communism and then cut to Jack watching the same images on the television in his office with glass of vodka in his hand.

* * *

_****__*Walkaway*_

_Rome - June 1992_

_Irina saw Katya sitting on the edge of the Trevi Fountain, one hand playfully gliding through the water while she waited. _

_'She looked beautiful,' Irina smiled watching as her sister pushed her long hair behind her ear and re-crossed her legs beneath her pink sundress. _

_Slowly, she approached and sat beside her but with clear distance, Katya's eyes flashing to meet hers._

_"I found them." Irina spoke softly averting her eyes, "Babushka and Grand-Papa… Olga, Marie and Tatiana." She inhaled deeply, running her own fingers through the cool water. "I thought you'd want to know. I'm having them moved to St. Petersburg."_

_Katya's eyes filled with tears that she didn't bother trying to hide, wiping at them softly when they spilled over as she nodded, overcome with emotion. _

_"And Alexei? Mama?" She asked quietly inquiring about the other two. _

_Irina shook her head sadly 'no,' refusing to look at Katya out of shame and feeling her own tears welling in her eyes._

_"Not yet. But I will find them." She paused, knowing she needed to leave or break down crying thinking about the reason for her mother's death and why they hadn't found her body yet. "I have to be going." She braved one last look at Katya before moving to leave. _

_Katya quickly grabbed her forearm stopping her from leaving, "Thank_ _you, Rina." She gave her sister a small smile through her tears, the electric connection of the first conscious contact in a loving gesture between the two, surging through both of them. _

_Irina nodded slightly and spun around, continuing on her way and disappearing completely in the tourist crowds of summer. _

Jack's reunion with Sloane and joining of SD-6 followed, leaving them all uneasy with the man's reappearance. Especially knowing now, that the evil man had not only known Irina was alive this entire time, but also that he'd been to see Conrad in 1972 to learn of his potential role in The Prophecy.

* * *

_September 1993- Pasadena, California - Pasadena High School_

_"I should have known." Sydney shook her head, pulling on her kneepad with a sigh. "He probably doesn't even remember its Parent's Night." She tugged at her green uniform top, pulling it a little out of her shorts._

_"Syd, why do you do this to yourself?" Francie sat down beside her on the locker room bench, putting her arm around Sydney's shoulders. "Your father hasn't come to a volleyball game, a soccer match, a cross-country track, or swim meet of yours... ever, that I can remember." She sighed and dropped her head to the side to rest against Sydney's. "You always get your hopes up, and he always lets you down." _

_"I know." Sydney's eyes began to glisten with unshed tears and wiped quickly at them before concentrating on tying her volleyball shoes. "I just… its my last game… ever. Parent's Night, my Senior year… I just thought maybe this year… he'd come. He's always working…" She sniffled, "My Mom would be here…" _

_"Yeah, she would…" Francie smiled at her and wiped a fallen tear, "She is Syd." She placed her hand over Sydney's heart, "And I'm sure she's smiling down with pride, watching her daughter go out there tonight and kick some Bel-Air ass!" She laughed, nudging Sydney and trying to make her laugh. _

_"Yeah…" Sydney finally smiled and shook her head._

_"Come on." Francie stood and pulled on Sydney's hands to stand, "My parents consider you another daughter anyway, and I'm sure, will be grinning with pride to have our team's star hitter walking out with us." She winked at Sydney and wrapped her arm around her shoulder while Sydney did the same, leaning their heads into each other. _

The following scene showed a packed gymnasium full of people wearing the school colors of green and white to watch the volleyball game with players and their parents walking out as they were announced.

Irina reached over with tears in her eyes and a small smile, gripping Jack's hand and knowing this wasn't easy on him and she felt guilty.

Sydney's worshipping of her deceased mother evident as clearly as her disappointment in her father. It wasn't fair but nothing really was to any of them then.

Jack's eyes were glistening with unshed tears hearing and seeing his daughter's disappointment in his continued failures as a father.

Sydney gasped softly beside Irina in her seat when the screen showed Jack, hurrying through the doors and weaving through the crowd, pausing at the edge realizing he was too late, seeing Sydney standing with Francie's family about to walk out onto the court.

**_*Inferno*_**

_'He'd come.'_ Tears started building in Sydney's eyes never knowing until now, that her father had come, had tried to make it.

Jack onscreen looked absolutely heartbroken watching his daughter walk out onto the court with Francie's parents, her father's arm around Sydney trying to cheer her up.

_"All-Around player for the Eagles, Senior, Francesca Calfo," The crowd cheered loudly, "Daughter of Marie and Wesley Calfo also escorting another All-Around player, Senior, Sydney Bristow…" The crowd went hysterical with whistles and cheers, "Daughter of Jack Bristow and the late Laura Bristow." _

The announcement of names was heart-wrenching to both Irina and Jack, yet something else that Sydney had to face alone. Something, like Parent's Night, something that Irina had never thought about missing or what Sydney must have felt going through it without her, without Jack, all those years. She picked up Sydney's hand and kissed it with a pained look in her eyes, tears spilling down her cheeks in their stinging trail when Sydney just smiled, forgiving her… them, without a word spoken.

_Francie and Sydney were the last in line and with the announcement, the crowd cheered for all the players together one last time. _

**_*Whoomp! There it is!*_**

_The first bars of the warm-up song came across the loud speaker and the crowd went wild as the players tore away from their parents and started running around their portion of the court warming up. _

_Jack weaved his way to the stands and took a seat amidst the excited crowd to watch the game; smiling softly when he saw Sydney finally smiling and laughing with her teammates during their warm up. _

The montage of the game began and Sydney proved her excellent athletic skills time and time again as she hammered the ball down on the other side of the net with the crowd chanting, "_Whoomp! There it is!"_ with every spike Sydney slammed down the other team's throats.

The sequence of shots started in slow motion showing Sydney going up for an attack at the net, with her arm swinging around and the moment it connected with the ball, it turned into a rapid succession of attacks as the points on the score board rose. Jack was smiling and clapping for them in the stands, obviously proud of her and as excited as the rest of the crowd.

"Damn wife, you were good!" Vaughn smiled proudly, laughing softly and kissing her cheek.

"I had a Full-Ride scholarship to play anywhere I wanted to basically, in the country." Sydney smiled shyly with a shrug.

"But you didn't play in college?" Vaughn quirked his eyebrow at her in question.

Sydney shook her head, "No, I didn't. I also had a Full-Ride academic… and all I wanted to do, was teach." She glanced over at her mother with a soft smile and he nodded with a smile in understanding.

When Sydney drilled the final point for the match, winning that set her team members clobbered her and then all of them dove face first back across the floor, away from her in celebration while the crowd went crazy and the girls all laughed excitedly.

And at the end of the game, when Sydney drove home the winning ace jump-serve she squealed in delight and dove, sliding across the wooden floor on her knees towards the center, met by the other excited players and Jack laughed out loud with an enormous smile, remembering very clearly teaching his daughter how to slide like that.

"Jeezuz, look at that serve!" Weiss laughed with raised eyebrows. "No wonder you can hit so hard."

_Jack watched Sydney celebrating with her teammates and quietly snuck out of the gymnasium with a soft smile on his face._

* * *

**_*The Ditty*_**

June 1994- Graduation Night

_"Shhh!" Sydney whispered loudly as a group of people stumbled through her dark front door, laughing and giggling, obviously drunk. _

_"Why do you have to be quiet?" The young man half-carrying Sydney asked in another loud whisper. "I thought you said no one was home?" _

_"Oh… yeah." She giggled and threw her black cap and gown down on the sofa, stumbling through the darkness. "I forgot." She hiccupped and burst into another set of giggles. "My dad left right after the ceremony to sell more airplane parts to… someplace, so…yeah, NO ONE'S HERE! JUST ME! HOME ALONE!" She yelled making them all laugh while they cracked open another beer handing her one. _

_"What else is new?" Francie turned the stereo up loudly and flopped backwards into the lap of her muscular football player boyfriend in a green letter jacket with the Eagle's emblom and several medals across it. "You're always here alone!" She dipped her head to rest against her boyfriend's, twirling her cap's tassel on her finger. "You've been entirely too good, for too many years, Syd. We could have had a ton of parties here." _

_"Hell yeah!" Sydney's boyfriend Brian laughed, "This house is enormous!" He bellowed loudly making them all laugh._

_"I'm vowing right now, we're going to have raging parties when we get to college!" Francie held up her beer to Sydney in salute. _

_"Yeah, right." Francie's boyfriend laughed, "Sydney's way too much of a good girl for that." He teased her, "This is as wild as I've ever seen her." He pulled Francie up, downing his beer getting ready to leave. _

_"Oh I don't know. I've seen her pretty wild." Brian swept Sydney into his arms, kissing her and stumbling backwards. "How about you show me that room of yours again?" _

Jack wanted to reach through the screen and strangle the little punk, his fists bawling in his lap, the one residing over Lena relaxing though he was remembering now, why he never liked that boy, not that he'd ever actually met him. Only had photos and a dossier done of him.

Will and Weiss were too busy cracking up over the song and their own high school memories associated with it to notice Vaughn and Jack's discomfort over what was being implied.

_"Hey now!" Francie tried to sound stern but giggled, "We're here just to make sure Sydney got home ok… Syd?" She looked at her friend to gauge her reaction to the situation. _

_"It's ok, Fran." Sydney smiled softly with a nod while Brian waggled his eyebrows and wrapped his arms around Sydney from behind. "I'm ok…"_

_"O-kay." Francie shrugged and smiled giving her a sly smirk setting her own beer down and heading for the front door with her boyfriend. "You two be good now." She pretend scolded, pointing her finger at Sydney and Brian making them both laugh. _

_Brian laced his fingers with Sydney, kissing her in the living room when the door closed behind them when they left. _

_"Come on." He nodded towards the stairs and led her up the steps. _

Both Jack and Irina felt their blood pressure rising watching the scene with murderous intent for the young man, leading their intoxicated daughter up to her bedroom.

_Brian flopped down on top of Sydney on her little twin bed and heavy kissing and groping followed suit with Brian pulling Sydney's shirt over her head and she his. _

_When he started kissing her neck, working his way south, Sydney's line of sight landed directly on the framed photo of her mother with her on Halloween looking right at her, unnerving her greatly. _

_"I can't do this!" She said softly, staring at the photo, pushing against Brian, "I can't do this!" She said more loudly, pushing him off more forcefully. _

_Brian sat up frustrated. "Why not?"_

_"I can't do this with my mother watching!" Sydney pointed to the photograph and the audience snickered. _

"Thank God." Jack sighed loudly and clasped Irina's hand with a small relieved smile, thankful for that photo of her unnerving Sydney enough to get her to stop any potential unspeakable acts.

_Brian looked at the photograph with furrowed eyebrows and leaned forward, picking up the frame and placing it face down on the nightstand. _

_"There." He smiled, "Now she can't see anything." He laughed softly proud of himself. _

_"No!" Sydney reacted horrified he had done such a thing and promptly lifted the frame, placing it back where it was; her fingers lightly grazing over Irina's smiling face in the photo. "Don't ever do that again!" She flashed a look of annoyance at him. _

_"I'm sorry." He held his hands up in mock surrender. "Your Mom was hot, Syd." He smiled, leaning down over her once more, kissing her neck, "And so are you. Is there a room in this house, that doesn't contain a picture of her, someplace she can't 'watch?" His tongue was lapping at her pulse point, which was racing. _

_"The spare bedroom." Sydney chewed on her lip nervously. _

_"Good!" He jumped from the bed, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him into the hall and into the spare bedroom where he closed the door. _

Shutting the audience out and Jack stared with wide eyes in disbelief, horrified this happened under his roof and he never knew.

* * *

**_*The Journey*_**

_July 1994- Congo, Africa _

_Irina was sitting on the edge of a small bed in a thatch hut, lacing her black boots. Her long hair flowing over one shoulder, an off white tank-top covered tan skin and her muscular arms gleaned with a fine sheen of sweat in the muggy environment. Her sub-machine gun lay beside her on the white linen bed sheet, a belt of ammo beside it and a rugged looking backpack near her feet. Slowly she reached into the left pocket of her cargo pants and retrieved a photograph. She smiled softly, looking down at Sydney's smiling face in her cap and gown on her graduation day, not quite a month ago. The photo had arrived from her contacts inside the United States just before she'd left for Africa. _

Sydney gasped softly, her eyes flashing to Irina's in surprise that in less then a month after she graduated, her mother had a photo of her on the big day.

_Irina's fingers lightly tracing over her daughter's face when the sound of jeeps and shouts broke through her temporary reprieve and she quickly put the photo back into her pants pocket. _

_"Irina," A fifteen-year-old Julian appeared inside the doorway, "They're here." He nodded at her and then quickly left. _

_Grabbing her ammo belt and throwing it over her shoulder and then her backpack before retrieving her weapon, she stalked out of the hut. _

_A group of the native tribe had gathered around the two jeeps that had just pulled into the village. Her men were talking to the new arrivals and the gathering crowd stepped back when they saw her approaching. _

_A tall muscular man with dark hair lowered his sunglasses to look at Irina as she approached, a slow smile spreading across his face watching the beautiful woman stalk towards him. _

_"Derevko?" He asked when she was standing just a couple of feet in front of him. _

_"Dubey?" She asked in return, having never met the man before but knowing his reputation as a mercenary. _

_He smiled and held out his hand, which she took and shook. "It's nice to finally meet you." _

_"Likewise." Irina nodded giving him a small smile, "We need to get moving. We've already wasted two hours of daylight." She threw her bag into the side of the jeep, motioning a man from the village who would be driving them to the jungle's edge to get behind the wheel along with Julian, who jumped in behind her._

_"We're taking all these men?" Dubey leaned against the jeep door with a smile, nodding towards the truckload of village men, plus five of her own men and the three with him. _

_"Yes, Mr. Dubey." She smiled at him, annoyed, "We're charging right through the middle of a war zone… which is why I asked you to join us. Did I choose wrongly?" She cocked her head to the side, slamming a new clip into her machine gun. _

_"No. No you didn't, Ms. Derevko." He stood taller with a smile, "This is dangerous territory for them… where we're headed. I was just merely inquiring as to how you got all these villagers to go along with us." _

_"I dug them two new wells, bought them a heard of goats and cattle, the truck they are now riding in, these two jeeps and am giving them the crate of weapons I asked you to bring." She nodded with a smile towards the wooden crate being opened just beyond them._

_"Impressive." He cocked his head with a smile and laughed softly, hitting the door of the jeep completely smitten with her already and walked backwards to his own jeep, jumping over the door and sliding into his seat. _

_The jeeps and truck rumbled out of the village over the bumpy terrain tearing off towards the jungle. When they reached its edge, the men jumped out along with Irina and began strapping on their various weapons and gear. _

_"Mr. Dubey, I am Kaovo… I will be your guide to the waterfall." The large native man extended his hand to Dubey who came to stand beside he and Irina. Dubey shook it with a nod. "Let us go then." He charged forth into the thick jungle with Irina just behind him, Julian behind her and Dubey behind Julian followed by the other men. _

_"How is it that a fifteen year old kid, comes to tag along on a trek through the Congo anyway?" Dubey asked, pushing past the brush. _

_Everyone was wet with sweat dirt smears on their skin and already tired of hiking all day through the jungle. _

_"I go where she goes." Was the only answer Julian offered him as he jumped over a large rock sticking out of the black, jungle floor. _

_"Is she your mother?" Dubey asked hesitantly, probing the young boy quietly, curious about this dangerous looking beauty leading them on this journey. _

_"No." Came simultaneous answers from both Julian and Irina who had whirled around. _

The immediacy of which she answered _'no'_ now crushing painfully against Irina's heart as she watched Julian's face onscreen and thinking about the fact that he was her son, then and now.

"Why he is here, is none of your concern, Mr. Dubey… that fact that he _is, is your concern." She stopped to stare at him with her dangerous gaze, "I am paying you and your men to get us there and back safely, not to inquire about the 'whys'. Understood?" She waited for his answer expectantly. _

_"Yes, ma'am." Dubey shot off like a soldier. _

_"Don't patronize me." She deadpanned and turned on her heel. _

_"I'm not patronizing you by the way." He answered, smiling to himself completely enjoying goading her. "I was simply answering respectfully to the person who's giving me the paycheck." _

_Irina ignored him and they charged on with him annoying her every chance he had over the next couple of days. _

_First by whistling for hours on end then by encouraging the village men with them to sing and finally by just his mere existence. He'd caught her looking at him without his shirt on while they were cleaning up in a stream on the second morning and hadn't put his shirt back on since. _

"My God, he's hot!" Sophia gasped with a smile seeing the perfectly sculpted, sweaty and somewhat dirty upper body and torso of 'Dubey' onscreen.

Unfortunately, she had said it loud enough for just about everyone to hear including Jack who was already feeling as though he'd eaten nails from the first moment Dubey introduced himself to Irina. Seeing the 'game' beginning between them of unresolved sexual tension was just about to drive him insane.

_Irina was staring off into space looking at the small fire on the jungle floor when she felt the whir of a blade fly past her ear in darkness of night. Her head snapped to the right and saw the large snakes head just above her shoulder now pinned to the tree. Her eyes flashed back across the fire to see Dubey smiling smugly. _

_"Any closer and he would have been kissing your ear." He laughed softly, walking towards her and kneeling down extremely close her so that her face was mere inches from his chiseled chest, pausing dramatically before retrieving the knife and the snake. "He's poisonous you know…" He smiled brightly at her and stood, kneeling down next to the fire and stripping the skin off the snake with his blade, sliding the meat part of the snake onto a wooden stake over the fire and throwing the skin back at Irina. "Keep it… make a nice a belt for yourself." _

_Irina said nothing; just stared at him with blood boiling before taking a breath and looking away. She jumped up and brushed the dirt off before slinging her gun strap over her shoulder and walking away, needing to get away from him. _

_When she returned, everyone was already asleep, save the three men on guard duty and she dropped down into her hammock, looking up at the stars shining brilliantly above through the large hole in the canopy. _

_The rustling noise beside her gained her attention and when she looked over, saw Dubey leaning out of his hammock smiling at her. She rolled her eyes at him and flopped over the edge of the hammock. _

_He watched as she walked up the large rock not far from them and climbed to the top. She folded her legs and rested her arms on her knees assuming the mediating position and Dubey furrowed his brows curiously. He looked over and met Julian's eyes who had been watching the interaction between the two and rolled over, seeing nothing new or curious about Irina's meditative pose, he went to sleep._

**_*Yekeleni Part I *_**

The scene cut to the vast expanse of a jungle canopy with steam and mist rising over the foliage as the camera swooped down, cutting rapidly through the jungle until it came head to head with a machete slashing through the thick jungle brush.

_Kaovo was leading the way with through the scorching muggy jungle with everyone following behind him. When he came to a clearing he suddenly stopped, grabbing his canteen and taking a drink. _

_Irina cocked her eyebrow at him curiously with the hairs on her arms standing on end. _

_"What are you doing?" She asked, an unease coming over her. "We just stopped a little over an hour ago."_

_"We stop here." He answered her annoyed, twirling the tip of the machete in the dirt. _

_"No. We don't." Irina gripped her gun tighter, "We need to keep moving."_

_"She's right… we're right in the middle of enemy territory." Dubey came up behind them, holding tightly to his own gun. _

_"Exactly." Kaovo smiled with a dangerous gleam just as the sound of crunching branches rang out and groups of soldiers ambushed them from all around, pointing guns on them and holding them still. "We have a drop to make." _

_Irina's eyes flew around to the back and watched as the men who had come at the request of Kaovo began handing over various weapons to the enemy soldiers, in bundles that had been concealed in their gear. Weapons she had bought for the village. "I gave those to the village… to protect themselves from men like these."_

_"No," He swayed his head looking down at her like she was inferior. "I bartered the deal for the village with you and with the leader of this group. You paid me to get you to this waterfall but in order to do that I had to make a deal to get us through their territory. Weapons…" The enemy soldiers suddenly started gathering up the village men, throwing them to the ground and screaming at them, huddling them together with guns trained, "And men." _

_"Prisoners you mean." She shot angrily back at him. _

_"This is not your concern nor is it your country." He got in her face. "They take their weapons and the men and we will be on our way." _

_"They raid villages… steal children and rape women… I will not help arm them nor give them political prisoners." Irina stood her ground defiantly. "Order them to release them, or I will!" She nodded towards the men though her eyes never left Kaovo. _

_"Who do you think you are woman?" He backhanded her hard, whipping her head and drawing blood and Julian lunged at him the same instant. _

_Kaovo grabbed him and twisted his arm, a sickening crack sounded as he broke his arm before throwing him to the ground. _

_The rage in Irina's eyes flared and she slammed the butt of her gun across Kaovo's face. _

_"Do not touch him again! Now order them to release those men!" She watched Julian pick himself up off the ground, holding his arm to his side with a pained expression but no tears. "And then we're moving on!" _

_"You bitch!" Kaovo's eyes flashed with his rage and slashed at Irina with his machete, striking her across the upper left thigh deeply. _

_Dubey lunged forward about to kill the man but Irina held her hand up for him to stop, staring down at the enormous gash in her leg so deep you could clearly see the bone, muscle hanging out and gushing blood. A wound that would cripple any man and bring them to their knees instantly only made her look as if she were disappointed. _

_"Order them to let the men go now." She commanded in a controlled voice that scared the shit out of everyone seeing her restraint after his attack. _

_Kaovo remained absolutely still, in shock over what he'd done and her non-response. Irina glanced over to Dubey and then her men and his and within seconds, they had taken out all of the enemy soldiers, riddling them down with bullets in a violent slow-motion spray of death. _

_"Now… keep moving." She waved Kaovo forward with her gun while the village men scrambled to their feet, retrieving the weapons of the fallen men. _

_"Irina, your leg." Julian spoke softly, nodding towards the gaping wound of her thigh. _

"Yeah… no shit! Jeezuz!" Weiss cringed and shifted uncomfortably in his seat with a grimace looking at the gaping wound on screen. "Christ! Now I know where that scar on her leg came from." He whispered to Sophia, having seen it first on that day in the beach in Jakarta and then numerous times since in the pool though never wanting to ask in case it had come from Cuvee and Kashmir, not wanting to bring up bad memories.

_"We can't stop now. We're in enemy territory and the gunfire will surely have brought attention to the others. We don't have time." Irina answered, motioning Kaovo once again to move. "Move! Quickly!" She pressed the gun into his back and the man stumbled forward with her dragging her leg behind her as it would no longer work properly with the muscles cut._

"Didn't follow directions, huh?" Jack looked over at Irina incredulously with a worried raised eyebrow, repeating her reasoning behind the wound when they had played that 'Name That Scar' game last Christmas.

"Well, he didn't." Irina shrugged with a half-smile, sliding her fingers against his, holding his hand, trying to calm his nervousness at seeing her injured so badly onscreen.

**_*Cry In Silence*_**

_When they forged on another five miles Irina was ghostly pale from blood loss and finally signaled for them to stop._

_"Keep your gun on him." She nodded towards Kaovo, ordering Dubey who was looking at her with decided concern, as was Julian. She dropped down onto a fallen tree trunk and pulled off her pack with effort. Her pant leg completely soaked through and sticking to her skin, blood pooling in her boot and jungle flies already feasting on the exposed blood and muscle. She dumped the water from her canteen over the gaping wound and tried to wash away some of the sticky blood as well as the flies before retrieving her spare shirt and tying it around her leg tightly as both a tourniquet and a bandage. _

_With that task finished she drank what was left in her canteen and beckoned Julian forth with her hand. _

_"Julian, come here please." The curly haired blonde stepped forward without showing outward fear though the slight tremble in his lip gave him away only to her. "I have to set your arm." She looked at him, speaking quietly and he nodded. She stood and waved one of her men over. "Hold him." She instructed and the man held Julian tightly to his chest from the side, under his arm while Irina carefully lifted it. "On the count of three, ready?" She asked and Julian nodded, closing his eyes tightly. "One, two-" And she yanked hard, setting his arm with another pop, "Three." She gave him a soft smile, tricking him with three count and doing it on two instead so he wouldn't completely tense up on the last count. She'd unfortunately had many bones set in prison; a great deal of them, she had to set herself. Softly, she put his arm back to his side in a bent position. "Shirt." She commanded to the man who had held Julian still. He quickly dug in his pack and removed his extra shirt handing it to her. Within seconds, Irina had fashioned a sling for Julian. "Ok… let's go." She picked up her pack and gun and limped forward. _

_"You're crazy!" Dubey looked at her with a slanted eyebrow of disbelief, "We can't keep going… You're bleeding to death!" He looked down to the already blood soaked makeshift bandage. _

_"I'm not going to bleed to death." She forged on with determination even as she continued to pale. "We're almost there." _

_"Whatever it is you're after, it's not worth it!" Dubey tried to reason with her. _

_"Keep moving!" She barked and the rest of the men followed behind her, Dubey falling into line shaking his head looking down at the blood trail she was leaving and scuffing the dirt with his boot to cover what he could._

The scene changed quickly to a cave behind a waterfall where Irina alone, with Julian holding a flashlight with his one good arm, finished digging out a box from the earth. On it was the now recognizable symbol of Rambaldi, her blood stained fingers grazing over the emblem. o

_She lifted the lid to reveal a leather bound manual and smiled, before closing it up tightly again and placing it in her backpack. _

_"I've got it. Let's go." Irina struggled to stand, bracing herself against the cave wall on the verge of passing out from the blood loss, heat and exhaustion threatening her failing body. _

**_*Yekeleni Part II- Carnage*_**

_They were making their way back through the jungle when Irina kept shaking her head, her vision fading and flashing before her. Sounds were amplified and she began to hallucinate as a raging fever took over her body. She suddenly dropped to the ground convulsing and Julian and Dubey were at her side instantly. Pulling back the blood soaked bandage revealed hundreds of maggots swimming around in her wound, eating her rotting flesh._

"Oh my God, I'm going throw up." Marshall hiccupped as everyone else visibly and audibly cringed in the theatre. Even Irina cringed in disgust having never seen, only heard of the maggot mess her leg was in.

_Dubey scooped her up into his arms and they began to triple time it, back through the jungle._

Images of her past and those she was hallucinating began to flash before her unconscious eyes and then broken with flashes of native dancers with headdresses and face paint amidst the smoke swirling and sound of chanting around her, a Medicine Man shaking a stick over her and a primal scream ripping through her body lifting her from the bed, her wrists bound with leather to the bed posts and fighting off her invisible attackers from years ago haunting her dreams.

_She thrashed around violently, hair and body slick with fevered sweat and screaming at the top of her lungs before a flying fist hit her across the jaw and knocked her out completely._

_Dubey had punched her across the face to knock her out and gently helped her to lay back down on the bed; her wrists, bleeding from where they were tied to the bedposts. The village witch doctor continued to chant over her, waving a burning rope of his voodoo over her head and body._

_Upon their return, with Irina's delirious state and violent nature from the fever, completely out of her mind, the people of the village had believed her to be possessed by evil spirits. The warriors danced around a fire just outside her thatch hut while the witch doctor performed his 'exorcism' on her._

_The medicine man, also present, had cleaned her wound and spread a green balm inside the gash made from plants and flowers before cutting away the dead edges of skin ravaged by the dirty machete and hungry flies and maggots. He poured something down her throat that was supposed to break the fever and with her last primal scream the witch doctor had believed he had cast the evil spirit from her body._

_Now she was left alone to recover enough so that they could get her out of this village in the Congo and back to civilization where she could be properly treated._

_Julian had sat wide-eyed and terrified in the corner of her room watching the entire process, not trusting anyone enough to leave her alone with them. He'd never heard such blood curdling screams in all his life and never anything like what he'd just witnessed with Irina in the fever state. When everyone else had left the hut leaving only Julian and Dubey, Dubey knelt beside Irina and smoothed her hair over her forehead with obvious concern and cringed when he saw the new gash in her cheekbone from where he'd just hit her._

_When her breathing evened out, he pulled the sheet up higher on her body and glanced at her wrists, blood drips running down her arms. _

_"I'm going to go get something to wrap around her wrists." He looked back at Julian, "Don't untie her." He looked at the young man pointedly, "If she wakes up again thrashing with fever she'll hurt herself again or others."_

_Julian nodded and watched the man leave. Slowly, he stood from his chair in the corner and made his way over to Irina's still form in the bed, sitting carefully on its edge. With his fingers outstretched on his good hand, he made motion to touch Irina's cheek but stopped, afraid having never touched her like that before, in such an intimate way of affection. With his hand hovering, he scanned her face once more before slowly dropping his fingertips to graze over her soft skin, brushing them back into her hair. He smiled softly with concern still written all over his face, especially looking up and seeing the blood trailing down her tied arms. Carefully, he took a wet cloth from the bowl by the lamp beside her bed and wiped clean the streams of blood._

_Dubey returned with scraps of torn sheets and stared at Julian sitting on the edge of her bed for a moment before walking towards them. Without saying a word, he released one of her wrists, wrapped it with cloth and then rebound it with the leather strap, doing the same with the other. "You take good care of her." Dubey spoke softly to Julian as he finished the last strap._

_"She takes good care of me." Julian responded softly still gently wiping away the blood stains on Irina's arm._

_Dubey smiled softly and nodded. "I'll be just outside, if you need anything…" He offered quietly to Julian and made for the door._

_"Thank you." Julian voiced just as he reached the door. Dubey nodded with a smile and stepped into the darkness._

_A woman from the village stepped inside just after him, carrying a tray of food for Julian with a smile. _

_"Food. For you." She set the tray down on the table by the window. "How she?" She asked in broken English nodding towards Irina._

_"Better," Julian nodding offering her a small smile._

_"Her clothes..." She motioned to her own clothes though indicating pants and pointing to Julian's pockets. "I find." She handed Julian the picture of Sydney she'd found in Irina's pants pocket after they'd cut her clothes off her when she returned to the village. "Beautiful." She cocked her head smiling at Sydney's picture, nodded and then left._

_Julian's eyebrows narrowed and his heart pounded rapidly in his chest having never seen a picture of this girl before in his life, and yet knowing exactly who she was. _

_"Sydney." He whispered into the night, Irina's features recognizable in her face and smile; and the only person he would see Irina, deeming worthy enough in her eyes, to bring a picture of, with her…to keep it with her on her body. His jealousy for a girl he had learned about almost a decade ago and knowing nothing about, except that she was Irina's child… skyrocketing to new heights with the knowledge Irina still kept tabs on her, cared about her enough… to carry her photo with her. The name, now had a face… "Sydney," he repeated and went back to his corner, and stared at the photo all night long and in the morning, found Irina's backpack, opened the Rambaldi box and placed the photo just inside the cover of the manual where she would find it eventually._

Irina had never known until now, who had been the one to find the photo and save it for her, placing it in the manual. She'd always suspected but never asked Julian and he had never approached her about it.

They had both avoided it from fear she realized now; she from talking about Sydney and he, from hearing about her.

_By the next afternoon, Irina was conscious again and fairly lucid. They had left her alone with a woman in the village long enough to have new cloth robes wrapped around her body in order to leave and then were back at her side._

_Dubey carried her to the jeep and set her carefully in the back, mindful of her leg and the open wound still there. _

_"I took care of Kaovo." He whispered, with an angry look, knowing that she hadn't killed the guide on the spot because they needed him to get to the waterfall and back out again. As soon as they were back, and she was out of immediate danger, he had executed the man._

_"Thank you." She whispered in a croaked voice, pale and still incredibly ill though her fever had gone down some._

_"You're welcome." Dubey smiled, watching as Julian jumped into the jeep's front passenger seat. "Bye." He nodded softly, neither of them really comfortable in their goodbye and he smiled, stepping back and waving them off as the driver pulled away._

_They met her plane at an airfield and from there, flew back to St. Petersburg where Alexei was already waiting to mend yet another wound and horrified at what he saw in regards to Irina's leg. _

_"What happened?" He asked with deep eyes of concern snapping on latex gloves and carefully touching the edges of the wound._

_"I had a run-in with a dirty machete in the Congo." Irina gave him a weak smile, exhausted and sore._

_Alexei looked up with a slanted eyebrow shaking his head. "How many days ago?"_

_"Almost five." She answered quietly knowing he wasn't going to be happy to hear that bit of news._

_"Julian said you had a raging fever." He looked pointedly at her while filling a syringe with a numbing agent. "To the point of hallucinating when he called me to meet you." His gaze shifting to the young man now sporting a new white cast courtesy of Alexei; Irina insisting his arm be taken care of before dealing with her._

_"Yes, so I hear." She draped her arm across her forehead looking at the ceiling while he injected her._

_"You are still burning up." Her skin was hot to the touch even through the gloves._

_"Alexei, I'm ok." She gave him what she hoped was a small smile of assurance._

_"Well…" His finger probed lightly with a look of astonishment. "It's remarkably 'clean' for that many days 'open."_

_"He said the maggots would clean out the wound." Julian offered and both Irina and Alexei's heads whipped to his with wide-eyes._

_"What maggots?" Irina asked in a low voice, this being the first she'd heard of such a thing._

_"When you collapsed we removed the bandage and your wound was crawling with hundreds of maggots." Julian offered, swallowing hard under her piercing gaze and remembering the disgusting sight. So many of the little white larva, crawling inside her leg it looked like they were fluid. "They left them there while we carried you back through the jungle. Dubey said they would clean out the infection and decaying flesh."_

_The information sent Irina's eyes wide with horror even as her eyebrows narrowed, repulsed._

_"He was correct." Alexei swallowed hard, shaking his head in astonishment looking over the wound again with fresh eyes with the insight. "Maggots have been used for centuries to clean wounds and aide in the healing process. Not only do they clean the wound of infection and decay, they have an enzyme that seems to speed up the growth time for new tissue."_

_Irina was looking at him as though he were crazy and thankful she wasn't lucid enough then to remember any maggots feasting on her flesh._

_"How many days did you leave the maggots in her wound?" He looked up, over the rims of his glasses addressing Julian._

_"My guesstimate would be approximately three days." Julian's eyes snapped from the doctor to Irina, who was clearly disgusted at the thought, when he answered._

_"Well, they did a remarkable job which will make mine easier." Alexei gave Irina a small smile. "I'm going to have to put you completely out for this surgery. It's going to take a while to sew all of this back together." He gestured toward the still gaping wound._

_Irina nodded and Alexei softly grasped her hand turning it over, looking at her bandaged wrists. _

_"And what happened here?" His eyes were searching hers with concern._

_"We had to restrain her." Julian choked out in a small voice and sad eyes avoiding Irina's penetrating gaze._

_Hours of surgery, a few hundred stitches internally and externally later in several layers, he had closed her leg wound. Alexei wanted to keep her at least three days to monitor for infection but Irina was her stubborn self, and negotiated with him into staying just one. After which, she went to her house in St. Petersburg on bed-rest for two weeks and he stopped in everyday to check her wound. Irina made use of the time by decoding the latest Rambaldi manual._


	17. Chapter 17

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Indra by Thievery Corporation, Kaho Na Kaho by Murder 925 mix from Bollywood At It's Best Mix, Vivid by Thievery Corporation, I Surrender by Celine Dion, Flamenco a Go Go by Benise, Spanish Heist by Michael Giacchino from ALIAS Soundtrack, Into Thin Air b**_**y Mocean Worker **_**from The Bourne Supremacy Soundtrack, The Russian Lullaby by Lorie Line, Home Movies by Michael Giacchino from ALIAS Soundtrack.**_

* * *

SEVENTEEN

o

**_*Indra*_**

_Five Months Later- Goa, India_

_Irina adjusted her gorgeous white sari over tanned skin, giving herself a once over in the mirror. She took a deep breath and made her way for the outdoor bar of the beautiful hotel nestled against the white sandy beach in India's Five-Star resort town. She was meeting her target for drinks and hopefully, things would progress along well enough to get inside his High Security room and vault within._

_Paul Sanders was one of Great Britians' wealthiest businessmen with many foreign investments. His business activities were all, legal and was quite respected in many circles around the world. His hobby, however, was certainly not legal… buying stolen artifacts and artwork off the Black Market._

_One week ago, he had purchased an Egyptian scroll, said to be part of Cleopatra's collection in Alexandria before her library was burned down by the Romans._

_Irina wanted the scroll because a page in the manual she had recovered in the Congo, indicated that this particular scroll held the location of a temple where Rambaldi had hidden another piece of the puzzle. That scroll, was inside the safe in Sander's room, a safe he took everywhere with him containing numerous other items and heavily guarded; only opened with his hand print and retinal scan. She had followed Sanders to this resort and 'accidentally' bumped into him when swimming today in the pool. The two had chatted all afternoon; Irina flirting heavily and he invited her to dinner._

_Breezing through the crowd of mostly wealthy Europeans and Americans she found him sitting at a private table beneath an umbrella waiting for her. Heads turned with smiles watching her make her way to him, gliding like an angel through the night towards him and stealing the breath of many as she passed._

_"Good God… who is that temptress?" A man with piercing green eyes asked in an American accent to the dark haired muscular man beside him when he saw Irina._

_The man he was talking to turned and felt his heart skip a beat, a slow smile spreading across his face that turned devilish._

_"Kirstin, you look ravishing." Sanders smiled widely, standing and kissing her hand before pulling out her chair. The handsome man couldn't take his eyes off the gorgeous woman he believed to be a Swedish heiress inspecting the hotel for a possible investment._

_"Thank you." Irina smiled at him, inserting just enough Swedish accent to tease him. "You look very handsome yourself, Paul." She flashed her mega-watt smile at him and watched him swallow hard when she crossed her legs, showing a dangerous amount of tanned skin._

_"Thank you." He smiled a bit embarrassed, "I hope you don't mind," He gestured towards the waiter, "I've taken the liberty of ordering a bottle of champagne for us."_

_"Not at all." She smiled, holding out her champagne flute and staring at him with eyes that screamed of seduction. "What do you suggest off the menu?" She asked coyly, her foot purposely rubbing against his calf beneath the table making him breath rapidly and shift uncomfortably in his chair. "I'm starving." The look she sent him clearly indicating she wasn't talking about food. Her eyes suddenly catching the man approaching from behind Paul and her own heart began to pound rapidly in her chest as he zeroed in on her._

_"I thought that was you." Dubey smiled coming to stand beside her looking impossibly sexy. His white dress shirt rolled at the sleeves, a third of the buttons undone and exposing his smooth chiseled chest. Her eyes flashed from his to Paul's with a nervous smile. Paul was not at all happy about the large man intruding on his date. "I don't mean to interrupt the two of you, I just wanted to ask how your wound was healing?"_

_"Wound?" Paul's eyes flashed with concern to Irina, not having seen her leg since their entire discussion had been in the water, leg out of sight._

_"I was in a car accident in Stockholm in July." She lied beautifully, smiling at Paul before quickly flashing a look to Dubey who was obviously confused by her answer and accent, "I sustained a large cut on one leg but I'm fine." This couldn't be worse timing and she was in danger of being exposed if Dubey called out her real name._

_Dubey smiled widely at her, deciding to play along seeing she wanted him to leave in her eyes and demeanor and wanting to make her squirm. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?" He held out his hand to Paul with an engaging smile to Irina._

_"Paul Sanders." Paul answered looking curiously between the two, "How do you know Kirstin?"_

_Dubey's eyebrows twitched in surprise and almost laughed when he looked back at Irina seeing the pulse pound in her neck._

_"Nice to meet you, Paul… the name's Vijay. How do I know Kirstin?" He exaggerated her name with a wide smile, staring directly into her eyes. "Well," he turned his attention back to Paul, crossing his arms over her chest. "I guess we met on business trip to Africa, also in July. Isn't that right, Kirstin?" He cocked his head to the side, smirking at her._

_"Yes, that's right." She plastered on a fake smile, relieved and unnerved all at once he was playing along. He had a way of irritating her to no end. "Just before the accident."_

_"How did the two of you meet?" Dubey fired back with a smile to Paul though it was clearly a male challenge as his eyes once again flashed back to Irina; his eyes raking slowly over her exposed leg and up her body._

_"We met this morning, in the pool." Paul was not blind to the searing heat that passed through the two's gaze, nor of the fact the man was undressing her with his eyes and felt threatened about losing his beautiful date. "Not to be impolite, Vijay, but we were just about to order."_

_"Yes, of course. I'm sorry for the interruption." Dubey's eyes widened with his smile though he refused to tear his gaze from the beautiful woman beside him._

_"Actually, Paul… I think room service is starting to sound, like a great idea." Her eyes were on Dubey's for an intense moment even as her foot continued to caress higher on Paul's leg before flashing her seductive gaze back to Paul; goading Dubey with the implication and bypassing the unnecessary, seeing her target was more than willing now to take her back to his room with his possessiveness._

_"Excellent idea." Paul quickly jumped at the chance, pushing past Dubey and offering his hand to Irina who had just downed her champagne._

_She took his hand and smiled widely at Dubey, "It was nice seeing you again, Vijay." Her eyes danced dangerously with flicks of fire light from the outside torches and her skin searing hot on his arm when they touched briefly as she brushed past him to follow Paul. Irina had seen the clear jealousy ringing in Dubey's eyes when Paul jumped at the chance to take her back to his room, and part of her enjoyed his reaction she realized._

_Dubey stood with hands now in his pockets watching her retreating form, being led by the hand into the hotel by Paul and just before disappearing completely inside, she turned back to look at him, their eyes catching briefly before tearing her gaze away once more._

_***Kaho Na Kaho***_

_Paul practically dragged Irina through the hotel in his eagerness to get her behind closed doors. When they reached his room, he spoke briefly with his posted guards and she flashed her famous smile enchanting them as well on their way into the room. She glided seductively into the massive room, looking around and locating the safe just beside his bed quickly before turning back to him with a delicious smile and perching herself on the end of his bed._

_His breath caught and he tugged at his collar watching as she leaned back, crossing her legs and rubbing them together suggestively. "Come here." She ordered in a deep voice, her eyes dark with seduction as her finger beckoned him over. He practically tripped over his feet running towards Irina._

_She stood and walked around him, eyeing him like she was going to devour him and he gulped when her fingers tweaked his nipples through his shirt._

_When she was just behind him, she made her move and put a choke-hold on him with her arm tightly around his neck, gasping for breath and pulling at her arm as she pushed him forth._

_"Don't move or I'll break your neck." She informed him with her hot breath near his ear, his body instantly stopping his struggle though his face began turning blue._

_Irina held his head in front of the retinal scanner clearing her through the first security measure then promptly injected him with a sleeping agent from her ring. His body completely slumped and she let him slide to the floor; grabbing his arm and pulling his hand up to be scanned after she opened the first safe door, opening the second. With the beep clearing her, she dropped his arm and pushed aside massive stacks of money and jewelry to find the scroll. Her smile lit her face when she found it and carefully removed it from the large metal container, setting it on the table beside her and closing the safe._

Everyone in the audience aware of the fact she could have very easily taken the rest of the contents of the safe but didn't, her intent was only one thing and nothing more.

_The man would be out for at least ten hours, and remembering nothing of the last half hour. She grabbed his hands and pulled him towards the bed, heaving him up into the massive bed and stripping him naked. She messed up the bed sheets making it look like they'd had a wild night and covered him partially. Reaching into her purse she retrieved her small bottle of perfume and sprayed it directly on the pillow in front of his face and then the pillow beside him, making an indent to look as though her head had been there. _

_This should convince him more of the act and buy her some additional time before he found the scroll gone in his safe. Rapidly she put the small cylinder containing the scroll in her purse along with the perfume and made way for the door._

The audience who'd been chuckling during the entire scene watching Irina pull off her brilliance, burst out laughing when she stopped in front of the mirror and looked at her appearance and then promptly bent over, shaking her head wildly and whipping her hair around before flipping it back up, creating the perfect '_passion tousled hair look.' _

_Smiling happily at herself she opened the door and breezed by the guards, seductively re-applying her lipstick in front of them and leaving with a wink. She rounded the corner of the corridor and Dubey reached out grabbing her upper arm surprising her. Murderous intent in her eyes when she spun to see her attacker and then further surprise and annoyed to see it was Dubey. _

_His eyes scanning her appearance and taking in her now wild hair, a frown appearing on his face from jealousy and his breath ragged. _

_"You. Me. Talk. Now." He commanded, not releasing her arm and guiding her into his hotel room just a few feet away. _

_"Let. Go." Irina commanded back with black eyes, tracking from where he held her arm to his eyes. _

_"What the hell was that, Kirstin?" Dubey mocked her alias and released her arm but slowly stalked towards her, backing her up slowly towards the wall. _

_"None of your business, Mr. Dubey." Her voice was low and ripe with a torrent of emotions. _

_"That may be so, but you owe me." He was standing impossibly close now that he had her trapped against the wall. _

_"You were already paid for Africa." She cocked her eyebrow at him, annoyed though her heart beat rapidly in her chest. _

_He smiled and stepped even closer, his fingers trailing softly up the length of her bare arm before his eyes met hers._

_"Tonight… I covered for you." Dubey spoke quietly, his voice thick with emotion. _

_"What do you want?" Irina asked with rapid breath as his fingers skated over her bare shoulder. _

_"The same thing you want." His face was within inches of hers as he removed his shirt, exposing his rock hard torso with a smile. _

_Her mind screamed she should stop this; break his arm for daring to touch her body yet at the same time, she craved it. _

_"That's very presumptuous of you, Mr. Dubey." Irina choked out even as her eyes grew heavy, her body tingled at his touch and her blood roared in her ears. _

_His smiled widened with a challenging look and moved in, one hand moving to the wall beside her head and boxing her in. His fingers delicately moving her hair over her shoulder and exposing the crux of her neck where her pulse was visibly pounding. Slowly, he moved in and she couldn't stop the small gasp from escaping or tilting her head to give him better access when his hot mouth met her skin, tongue swirling over her pulse point._

_"Really?" Dubey asked with a cocky grin as he pulled away, staring into her dark eyes and pressing his excitement against her body. _

_Irina was greatly annoyed by his arrogance and looped her calf around his with a dangerous smile, pressing both palms against his hard pecks before violently shoving him backwards, landing on top of him when he hit the floor with a loud thump. Her face barely an inch from his as she straddled his body. _

The audience was holding their breath with wide-eyes of anticipation while Jack couldn't help but feel as though he was about to be drawn and quartered.

**_*Vivid*_**

_"Arrogant asshole." Irina seethed even as her eyes went to his lips and in that second Dubey forcefully grabbed her head, bringing it down to meet his lips even more turned on by her roughness and seared their mouths together in a hungry kiss._

_Tongues clashing eagerly in open mouthed kisses of teasing and taunting as hands grasped feverishly at each other's clothes, tearing them off and throwing them aside as they rolled over and over, changing positions of dominance and control, knocking over end tables and lamps, throwing aside anything in their way. _

Weiss and Vaughn finding their mouths dry now watching and vividly remembering the battle for dominance in Jakarta, the first hint they'd received at what the '_game_' had been like between Irina and Dubey… _rough, rapid and wild_.

_With Irina now on top, the upper half of her body free of clothing, her mouth melded to Dubey's, his hands ran forcefully up her back and down her sides before unzipping her skirt and pushing it down, the moment it was to her knees, he flipped them again as she kicked it off, now completely naked beneath him and Irina returned the favor of stripping him from his pants. _

The camera shots, as rapid and furious as the two on the screen, moving and flashing to various close-ups of grabbing hands and naked skin, very telling without showing them both completely naked all at once, building tension.

_Dubey gasping against her mouth when her hand grasped his length on its way back up. _

The power of suggestion very clearly understood and what was shown, stealing everyone's breath away while their heartbeats and body heat rapidly rose.

_His mouth leaving hers to travel swiftly south over her neck and chest, closing over her ridged peak and tugging with his teeth leaving Irina gasping and flipping them once more roughly, slamming him into the floor straddling him. _

_She flipped her hair off to the side like a wild seductress on the hunt and slid down his body, his shaft pressing into her ass and teasing him, not willing to relinquish control to him. Her mouth closed over his own little nipple biting and teasing while her fingernails raked roughly over his pecks and sides._

_Dubey grabbed her wrists in his strong hands, flipping them once more and rolling across the rug. Pinning her arms above her head with his as he settled between her legs and his mouth continued to ravage her breasts making her squirm and gasp as she fought to flip them again. _

Irina's heart pounded in her chest, afraid to move or breathe watching the vivid display before her and the entire theatre. Unwilling to look at Jack and his reaction at the moment, her eyes slowly shifted to look down the aisle at her family and friends watching with impossibly wide eyes, Sydney's mouth slightly ajar in shock with her eyes glued to the screen unable to tear them away from the scene before her.

_Dubey took both of her small wrists into one hand, raking the other over her breast and down her side, over her ass and up her thigh bringing it over his hip. He nudged in a little and then thrust powerfully into her heat making both of them gasp and groaning in pleasure once he was inside. _

And with that move, Jack felt like he'd been gutted completely, knowing now how Irina must have felt watching him thrusting into Helen on Christmas Eve, the reason for her tears and the pain in her eyes then, now echoed through him.

_Dubey pulled out, paused dramatically and pounded back in close to losing it so eager for this moment. The speed of his thrusts and the force behind them making them both pant for breath, her back on fire from rug burns forming from the friction. She tried to pull her arms free from his grasp while he continued to drive her closer to the edge, his mouth kissing and biting its way over her neck and chest, marking her, and managed to pull one arm free. _

_Her own nails immediately sinking deeply into his flesh on his muscular ass and he let out a small scream of painful pleasure, releasing her other hand enjoying the rough battle. _

"Holy Sweet Jeezuz…" Weiss gulped, pulling at his tie while a fine sheen of sweat formed over his brow and every other male in the theatre.

Katya smiling softly with a strange sisterly pride seeing the many men in the theatre shift uncomfortably in their seats with rapid straining discomfort. This by far, was the most vivid sexual scene thus far in the movie, leaving no room for intimacy on purpose, to show this was just _plain raw sex_ and unbridled passion in action.

Kendall and Ryan were both sure they were going to have heart-attacks or aneurisms, possibly even stroke out watching the Siberian Tiger and Mrs. Robinson in action.

_The sensations of her building orgasm tearing through her body, her nails marking his flesh as his teeth marked hers, each bite and scratch pushing them that much further. Knowing he was close, Irina clenched around him powerfully inside and his orgasm ripped through her violently, screaming, 'Irina!' thrusting roughly into her making her quake and wither pulling her just behind him over the edge._

Jack was instantly on fire inside hearing another man scream his wife's name in passion. More unnerved by the fact that Dubey had screamed _the right name_, her _real name_, first… before he ever had.

Neither Jack nor Irina were willing to look at each other in the dark theatre at this point, both pairs of eyes locked onto the screen.

_Irina quickly flipped them again onscreen, their legs hitting the table at the end of his bed and sending a glass bowl, and a vase crashing to the floor, further destroying the room. Her body was on fire with electricity and still aching for a pent up release, not ready for this to be over she began to ride him into oblivion once more, bringing him into a quick recovery. _

_Her body arching back as she grasped his legs behind her for support; both of them groaning with the rapid approach of the aftershock both knew would be more explosive then the original, her nails sinking into his calves and he started gasping with mini-screams from the mixture of sensations; he could do nothing but 'hang on' and meet her thrusts with his own. _

_"My God!" Dubey scream-panted; losing control completely to her, and about to explode again. "Fuck yes! - Oh God, Irina!" _

Both Sophia and Weiss had instantaneous flashbacks to last Christmas hearing Jack chanting something similar from the shower and they both blushed a deep crimson thinking about it in conjunction with what they were seeing on screen.

The camera tracked around them with increasing speed as they both moved towards release… the image of her beautiful naked body riding his perfectly sculpted one completely breathtaking instead of vulgar.

Marshall, Dixon and Will all began feeling lighted headed and gulped when they looked at the gorgeous Swede sitting in the seat in front of them, her naked body in all its glory flashing in wide-screen projection before them and then to the woman she represented, _Irina,_ sitting just a few seats down to the left.

Carrie now fully understood why 'Dubey' had been a point of contention between Jack and Irina in Jakarta with this now vivid display of the '_wild kingdom sex'_ in action.

_Irina threw her head all the way back, hair swaying with the movements and dug her claws all the way into his pecks as the surge of pleasure began ripping through her once more and Dubey couldn't take anymore; erupting explosively inside her. The jolt within was all Irina needed to send her flying after him as they continued to pound against each other, leaving them both gasping and screaming non-coherent sounds. _

_Irina collapsed off of him to the side, both panting and trembling from their efforts and neither saying anything. _

Nor was the audience, too stunned and flustered to move or speak along with them.

"That quite possibly… was the hottest sex scene I've ever seen." Weiss whispered to Sophia with wide eyes and blushing cheeks. "I can't wait to see what the hell happened in Panama." His smiled widened and she giggled, snuggling into his arm shaking her head.

_When ten minutes of silence passed, Irina rolled over moving to stand_ _and Dubey sat up quickly, grabbing her wrist. _

_"Where do you think you're going?" His eyes still dark with sedation as they raked over her naked form, now marked with several glaring red teeth marks and finger imprints. "Round three is about to start and I'm not letting you leave until you lose control." His smirk had returned referring to her making him lose control. _

_"That's unlikely to happen." Irina flashed her dangerous smile at him and pulled on her arm though he wouldn't release it. _

_"Well I'd like to die trying." Dubey grasped at her with both hands, bringing her crashing down to the floor where he rolled over her, pinning her there, Irina gasping as the crushed glass dug into her back, her arousal returning rapidly as she felt his member growing hard against her abdomen. _

_His mouth closed roughly over hers as passion once again took over, Irina immediately flipping them again, exposing her back now covered in small lacerations bleeding from the glass and large rug burns from where he ground her into floor._

Dubey's words to Jack that night in Libya, now ringing loudly through his ears, '_Our game got a bit rough… it does sometimes_.' The physical proof now flashing vividly before him seeing the destruction of the room and the blood, burns, scratches and bites they'd left on each other.

The one thought seeping through Jack's jealousy, anger and pain watching this was the fact that Irina was unwilling to give Dubey control, something she seemed adamant about maintaining… something she easily gave over to him on a frequent basis '_completely_,' reminding him of just how much she '_loved'_ him, and why and how this was very different from what they had.

_"Oh, no you don't." Dubey gasped with a smile at her shift of power, threading his hand into her long hair and pulling roughly as he rolled them again. Back and forth they continued to fight for dominance as the game continued. _

_In the end, it was Irina who once again came out on top, leaving him spent and exhausted when she collapsed on the rug beside him once more. Dubey reached out and grasped the bedding pulling it all onto the floor in a heap, too exhausted to move and as he tried to recover, fell asleep. _

_With her breathing not quite returned to normal, Irina rolled over quietly and gathered her clothes, dressing quickly and glancing back at Dubey asleep on his stomach on the floor. _

_The marks she'd left him as equally damning as her own, she had to get out of there. Quickly she made way for the door and snuck out into the darkness._

Irina and Jack's eyes finally met in the dark theatre, sharing a silent conversation and both reaching for each other at the same time, clasping hands. Irina wanted so badly to lean over and kiss him but hesitated, unsure of the awkwardness of what they'd just seen and how he would receive it. Her eyes darting to his lips and Jack saw her hesitance over what she wanted, what he wanted too and leaned in… meeting her mouth in a soft kiss of unspoken love. He gave her a small smile, his free hand running softly over Lena's back still sleeping soundly on his chest, a physical manifestation of that love… something Irina had given him, _not Dubey_.

Dubey's words flashed through his mind once again, though this time they were from Jakarta and on the recording that Irina had left for him to prove her 'love and innoncence.' Dubey had said, '_Irina Derevko would 'never' have a child with just any man… not even me… For you to carry his child… have his child… again… I knew that he was the one who held your heart… would always.'_

Irina seemed to have read his mind as she placed their clasped hands over her pregnant belly, smiling softly at him when both babies kicked. They could get through this. Conquer one piece of their past at a time, together, of that Jack had no doubt anymore.

* * *

_November 1994_

_"Jack, I'd like to bring Sydney into SD-6." Sloane leaned over his desk, staring at Jack with a smile across from him. _

_"No, absolutely not." Jack's brows creased and his mouth formed a tight line, heart pounding in his chest. "She's not cut out for this kind of life." He reasoned, hoping to sound convincing in his answer._

_"I know you trained her with Project Christmas, Jack… I think she'd be a perfect asset to our team." Sloane smiled, leaning back in his chair. "And I think its only natural… for her to be an agent… with 'both' of her parents leading the same life." He folded his hands in front of his face with fingertips pressing off each other, staring at Jack pointedly in reference to the fact that he included his traitorous wife as well, an apparently very successful KGB agent._

_Jack was obviously upset by the remark and tried hard to mask his rage at both suggestions. "I do not want her in this life Arvin." He commanded. "Period." There was no way he was going to let his daughter be brought into a dangerous criminal organization under the guise of the CIA._

* * *

_Sydney, Australia - February 14th, 1995_

The scene opened with Irina sitting in a wicker chair, legs curled under her watching the sunset. A bottle of vodka nestled in the crook of her arm while her hand wrote furiously on the paper resting on her legs. Tears were streaming down her cheeks unbridled as she wrote and the camera came in closer going around her shoulder to see what she was writing as Lena's voice narrated her thoughts and what she was putting in this apparent letter.

Jack had a feeling he knew exactly what it was, being that this was their anniversary and remembering Irina's admission that she got drunk on every single one, too.

_"I had to write this down on paper, I had to get it out… it's been swimming around my head for so long… it's consuming my every thought. It began as a fear and became my saving grace while I was in solitary… now that I'm free… I have to let it go… as I have to let you go…"_ Lena's voice carried over softly as Irina's tears rushed forth and face contorted slightly in agony as she wrote. _"So many nights I'd lie awake, watching you sleep… wanting so badly to tell you who I really am… wanting to surrender to you… to live a life without fear... without deceit."_

Flashes of the past with Irina watching Jack sleep with silent rivers of tears coursing down her cheeks sprang forth in her mind, showing the audience what she was thinking as she wrote.

The first notes of the song made from the letter began to play over the scene, the lyrics acting as Irina's thoughts over the present moments and flashbacks.

**_*I Surrender* _**

_"But telling you the truth was impossible… the fear for your life, our children's haunting my every move. My worst fears were realized when they did find out… but thinking of you, is what got me through…" _

The image of Irina being dragged down the prison aisle for the first time flashed through her memory as she walked along the beach. The images now cutting back and forth from the past, to her writing the letter and what she did after, getting more and more drunk, as she cried alone on the beach in agony and anger.

Memories of Jack looking at her with complete love and adoration at various times mixed with her meetings with her handler showing his threatening pictures of Sydney as a warning. The happiest moments of her life with Jack and Sydney mixed with horrid flashes of torture and abuse from prison, fighting against her captors refusing to give up and then laying broken and bleeding alone on the cold floor of her cell, crying for her lost loves, finding her happy memories to make it through.

Watching Irina onscreen trying to 'let go' and grieve silently and alone while on the same beach that Jack proposed to her on, in the same spot was heartbreaking. Jack had no idea until this moment that is where she had written the letter, on their beach, on their anniversary... trying to let him go.

Everyone in the theatre was in tears watching the flashes of happy memories mixed with the unbearable ones from Kashmir that were going through her mind; her words to Jack that she'd written in prison, playing over the memories that were giving visualization to the moments and things she was talking about. Most of the flashbacks were moments the audience had never seen, constantly revealing more and more to them.

The scene suddenly cut to Jack dealing with their anniversary in much the same manner, getting drunk in his bedroom thinking about his own memories with tears running from his own eyes. The memories flashing between the happy and those of her car accident, his desperately trying to find her, the car being pulled from the water and first them yelling at him that she was 'gone,' then that she was a traitor, a spy. All of them confusing and painful and began cutting back and forth with Irina's misery on the other side of the world.

Toward the end of the scene, it was well into the night and Irina was curled up into the fetal position; silently crying herself to sleep until she passed out from the alcohol and exhaustion in her bed. The flashes of memories had gotten worse throughout the night as time passed in Kashmir; slowly breaking her and almost killing her on numerous occasions until she finally did emerge from solitary, a ghost… complying to survive.

The camera was above her, looking straight down and as it pulled away slowly, she looked impossibly small, fragile… broken in the big bed curled into her little ball.

The camera cutting to Jack, in their old bed from the same high position pulling back and watching as he passed out with one hand covering the empty side of the bed where she used to lay, his face nestled against one of her old t-shirts he'd taken out of the Hope Chest, just for this night, because of the memories, because it still smelt like her.

It was obvious to everyone, that this was one night, their anniversary, that in spite of how much they hated each other the rest of the time, they let their love and pain from loss be felt and remembered; and no matter how hard they tried to forget, it was always there… their love for each other, buried beneath the surface and refusing to be extinguished.

* * *

_Madrid, Spain - June 1995_

The scene changed to Jack, wearing a tux and looking impossibly handsome, walking along the edge of the _Plaza de Oriente Square_. He adjusted his tie looking up at the impressive _Teatro Real Opera House_, before heading inside.

**_*Flamenco a go go*_**

_Jack turned just inside the entrance and made his way up the stairs to the third balcony overlooking the stage. _

_Tonight a performance of the best flamenco dancing was presented as part of the Festival de Verano. She was waiting for him; just as planned for and quietly he slipped into the vacant seat beside her in the private box. _

_"Ola Jack." She spoke softly before turning her head to look at him. Her gorgeous dark hair was pulled into a tight bun, adorned with a red flower, in the back of her head. Her eyes were a piercing black when she turned to look at him with a smile. She cocked her head to the side and crossed her legs, revealing a dangerous amount of skin with the high slit. _

_Jack's eyes tracked up her leg and swallowed hard giving her a small smile. "Ola Elena." His blood already on fire seeing the same heat in her gaze he knew was reflected in his own. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek to greet her, feeling the heat of her skin against his lips. "You have new information for me?" He asked in perfect Castilian Spanish just above a whisper. _

_"I do…" Elena smiled, answering in the same hushed tone, "Alejandro will be in Ibiza at the end of the week. At the home of Juan Mendes; he had me make the travel arrangements yesterday."_

_"Mendes?" He asked with a quirked eyebrow. _

_"Yes… you know of him?" She asked smiling._

_"Yes. I do." Was all Jack offered her as a response, "Thank you, Elena. I know it's a risk for you, every time you meet with me." _

_"You're worth the risk…" She smiled devilishly, her hand reaching over to grasp his upper thigh. _

_His heart began to pound within his chest and he felt the surge to his groin as her hand climbed higher. _

_"And the risk, only adds to the excitement of our encounters… and its been too long." She leaned over and gently grasped the back of his head, pulling him towards her where their lips met in a hot kiss. _

_The ever-present ache of release screamed inside of Jack, and he responded eagerly with hands moving roughly over her hot skin. His hand slid up her bare leg, pushing her dress higher with fingers grazing her inner thigh. _

_She moaned softly in response against his mouth with anticipation and Jack grabbed her hand, pulling her up though never breaking contact with her mouth in hungry need. He backed her up further into the shadows of the private box and against the wall. His mouth moved from hers and down the side of her neck, with greedy hands pushing down the stretchable red fabric of her dress, exposing her left breast. Thumb gliding over it and bringing her brown peaks rigid while he pressed himself against her. _

_More soft moans escaping her throat and a sharp intake of breath when his hot mouth closed over her sensitive nipple sending a shudder through her. Her hands immediately set to work undoing his tuxedo pants, feeling his straining bulge against her leg. _

_His hand moved down south and crept up her inner thigh, under her dress to her heat. His fingers grazing against her thong and finding it soaking wet only added to his excitement. She arched her body towards his touch and Jack slid his fingers pushing aside the garment, sliding them into her slick folds and making her gasp when he flicked her swollen bud. _

_Her hand closed around his shaft in a rough grip, yanking up and making him gasp in return against the flesh of her neck where his mouth was working over her pounding pulse. _

_The heel of his palm began grinding against throbbing clit and she unconsciously thrust into his hand, stroking his excitement in time with her thrusts. His fingers plunged up roughly and his mouth captured her scream of surprise and pleasure. _

Though the camera didn't show the actual act, the power of suggestion was clear with her response and Irina's hand tightened into a fist, knuckles turning white. Her own blood was roaring in her ears and her heart pounded in her chest.

_A new wave of wetness surged over his fingers and Jack couldn't wait any longer to be enclosed in Elena's heat. Quickly he pulled his hand away and grabbed her hips roughly, lifting her against him and aligning his straining cock with her entrance, he covered her mouth with his and plunged in deep, stealing both their breath and making them tremble. He once again slammed her into the wall just behind the curtain in their' own cover of darkness. She wrapped her legs around his body and he rolled his hips, pulling out and plunging back in. _

_"Mio Dios, Jack…" She gasped into his ear, clenching around him trying to hold him inside. _

Jealousy surged through Irina hearing this woman enjoying her husband and tried desperately to stamp it down, knowing this was in the past and he was hers and hers alone now. These revelations of the past were not easy on both of them and she could see Jack holding his breath beside her while her own came in short rapid intakes.

_Jack's speed increased with his pent up tension and pounded into Elena, stealing her breath and making her pant in a hiss against his ear. He grunted softly with each thrust into her neck while he worked at a fevered pace to bring them both rapidly to orgasm. Her little mews of pleasure coming more quickly as the sensations built and he could feel the muscles around his member begin to quiver as her climax came on. Her pants and cries became louder as she began to lose control and he once again covered her mouth and the noises of passion. _

_Her explosion rocked her body and his when she screamed into his mouth with body convulsing against his and he pumped furiously to follow her. Her quaking muscles grabbing at him feverishly pulling him along with her and he thrust wildly up into her, erupting inside with a muffled groan of his own at the release. He pumped until they were both spent and then slowly set her down, pulling her dress back up over her exposed breast with a soft smile. _

_Jack put himself back together as she did the same, leaning over to kiss her once more softly on the cheek._

* * *

**_*Spanish Heist*_**

_Ibiza, Spain_

The scene opened with a wide shot of a gorgeous Spanish mansion in the light of the moon at the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean.

As a car pulled around the circular drive, the camera zoomed in on the opening door of a black Mercedes as the valet held his hand out. Irina's long brown hair popped up first as she accepted his hand, though the audience was only privy to her backside as she began walking into the party, the camera following behind her.

Heads were turning to stare at the beautiful woman in the red dress as she made her way through the crowd enchanting everyone.

The mansion was built in traditional hacienda fashion with the center of the house open as a courtyard and currently filled with hundreds of guests, lit by thousands of little white lights creating a spectacular ambiance.

A brief profile showed her eyes that began tracking along the second story balcony and towards the two sets of staircases, one on each end.

Dubey was on the second story though Irina didn't see him and he only saw the back of her. The camera changing angles to track her from the second story balcony as she made her way casually towards the staircase on the far side of the courtyard.

The camera flashed to a close up of Irina's sexy legs and red stiletto heels as she made her way quickly up the stairs. When she reached the top, the shot of her emerging was Dubey's view from the other side of the house, staring at her profile as she tossed her hair over one shoulder before her eyes snapped over towards the camera, zeroing in on him as time seemed to stand still with everything in slow motion.

_Her heart was already racing, now pounding in her ears when Dubey smiled at her. She turned her head to look at the other end of the house where she was headed and then back at him, his eyes tracking her intended target and then watched as she began gliding through the guests casually chatting as they leaned against the iron rail. _

_She was clearly on a mission by the look in her eyes and the speed of which she was moving._

_Quickly, his feet began to move as they kept stealing glances at each other making their way towards the end of the house. He was moving twice as fast as she was in an effort to head her off. He was successful when they nearly ran into each other, simply staring at one another with dangerous smiles. He grabbed her hand and made haste to the alcove in the corner of a darkened staircase leading up to the third story. _

_"What are you doing here?" Dubey asked immediately grabbing her arms and slamming her into the stonewall pressing his groin eagerly into her. _

_"I could ask you the same." Irina countered feeling her blood raging hot and screaming through her veins at the contact. _

_"Business." He answered even as his hands began to feel their way up her body. _

_"Me too." She answered in a husky voice, her breath catching when his hand reached through the slit of her dress and began creeping up the inside of her thigh._

_"You disappeared on me." He whispered in her ear, nipping at her lobe with his teeth. _

_"I do that." Irina answered in a ragged breath, her breath hitching when his fingers found their target. _

_"I've been looking for you everywhere." One of his hands groped her breast through her dress while the other found its way under her thong and began teasing roughly making her gasp and legs tremble slightly. _

_"I'm here." She flashed him her enigmatic smile and he laughed softly crashing his lips into hers in a ravaging kiss of passion denied for too long. His fingers easily gliding through her now wet folds while he rubbed himself against her thigh. _

_"Yes you are." Dubey answered as he plunged his fingers up, lifting her onto her toes and making her moan loudly as he began to stroke her inside. _

_Irina's hands rapidly flying to his belt to undo his pants, "This has to be… fast." She panted with her breath catching when pressed hard against her throbbing pleasure button. _

_"After dreaming about this day and night since I last saw you," Dubey pushed her dress up over her hips, she lifted her leg and he slid his free hand over the skin of her thigh as he looped it over his hip. "I've no doubt it will be." From the moment he saw her cross the courtyard he had begun to grow hard and now, was straining painfully against his briefs. _

_Irina pushed down the elastic waistband of his briefs enough to set him free. He withdrew his hand causing her to gasp softly at the loss of contact and then hiss when he picked her up roughly and drove into her madly and taking her breath. _

_"Fuck! You feel so incredible!" He groaned loudly at being inside her again. Her heat and tightness making him grow harder and lengthen inside her. _

Jack's eyebrows narrowed, not at all liking that this man shared the same thoughts as he, about being inside Irina. Though he really had no room talk after what Irina had just witnessed between he and Elena, their roles of unease once again flipping. 'Damn them and their wanting to portray things as exact as they could for accuracy and truths-sake!' He internally swore at the idea now that he was witnessing that truth in color on widescreen.

_"I'm not going to let you disappear on me again." Dubey groaned, pulling out slightly then driving back in while picking up her other leg and looping it over his other hip where she locked them behind him again. _

_"You can try." She bit his lip, drawing blood with a coy smile before devouring his mouth and he began pounding furiously inside her. _

_The slick friction as she clenched around him drove him mad and egged him on and he grunted with the same rapid pace as his thrusts, his efforts stealing both their breath and driving them wildly towards release._

Dubey reached up and roughly tweaked her nipple through her blood red dress making her gasp and hiss with pleasure trying to get her to fall first for once but she held on and only increased her efforts to make him lose it.

Her mouth closed over his and tongue plunged in dueling with his as she squeezed him inside forcefully making him groan loudly and shudder against her. The effect sending electricity shooting straight through his body at wanting to claim her and he couldn't hold it anymore.

With a hard thrust he lost it inside her heat wincing when she bit his lip again at the same moment and he pounded harder into her, determined to make her shatter around him.

His hand slid around to the middle of her lower back and pressed in, shifting their angle slightly and rubbing her pleasure button against him while he stroked the bundles inside her at the same time. He bit her neck hard just over her collarbone, drawing blood and making her gasp loudly from pain and pleasure as she flew over the edge after him.

The feel of her body rocking against, over and around his as she lost it brought him back and sent another wave of pleasure shooting through him again.

"I meant what I said," Dubey panted as he slowly set her down, "I'm not letting you disappear on me again. You have to tell me where I can find you."

Irina pulled her dress down and straightened it, chest still heaving with uncontrolled breath as she watched him put himself back together.

"I'll find you." She gave him a devilish smile, kissing him roughly once with promised passion to come and brushed past him out of the alcove leaving him still panting and stunned.

The heated audience watched as Irina picked a lock and broke into Mendes study, stealing information off his computer and copying it onto a disk.

A small gasp went through the theatre when Jack entered the party on his recon mission following his target Alejandro. He weaved his way through the crowd with eyes scanning the people and surroundings just as Dubey was coming down the steps.

They glanced at each other briefly as they passed on the steps, Jack noticing the buff man wiping the bit of blood from him lip with a smile and everyone was holding their breath in shock. Neither man having any idea who the other was and Irina still there.

Jack used the advantage of the second story balcony to look down over the crowd below, keeping an easy eye on his target as they moved through the guests.

Mendes, the big man he'd passed on the steps and Alejandro were talking as they made their way back towards the stairs. Jack turned away from them as they passed, headed towards Mendes office to conduct some type of business.

Irina's head snapped to the side when she heard the key enter the lock and the audience gasped again, waiting to see if she'd be caught but when the camera flashed back to where she'd been behind the desk when the men entered, she was no where in sight.

The shot cut to her in the bathroom where she heard the muffled voices of the men just outside the door.

_Quickly scanning her surroundings, she looked up to the skylight above the tub. _

In the next shot, Irina in her red dress was shimming, dangling by her arms across the roofline towards the outer balcony on the far side of the house and the audience laughed again at her resourcefulness.

She climbed over the balcony and walked towards the stairs with a smile as she passed the other guests. She hit the ground floor just as Jack turned around and everyone shook their heads as Irina passed by directly underneath of Jack who was still on the second story.

They both paused to look back as though they felt the strange sense come over them of being so near but brushed it off.

The last shot was of Irina in the large garden surrounding his mansion as she snuck away from the party. From under a bush in the back of the garden, she found her black parachute and strapped it on. Removing her stiletto heels, she glanced back towards the house once before running for the cliff's edge and jumping off. She pulled her chute cords, opening it instantly and drifted in the night over the ocean where a speedboat was tracking her movements. She landed in the back and the boat raced on.

_"Did you get it?" Julian asked her, turning around from where he was driving the boat, dressed in black as they sped off into the night._

_She flashed her brilliant smile as she finished pulling in the chute and reached into the front of her dress, removing the disk. He smiled with a nod and turned around, concentrating on driving. _

_Irina began to pull the harness off her body and her fingers ran over the now bruising impression of teeth that had pierced her skin, shaking her head with a hint of a smile. She grabbed a duffle bag on the back seat of the boat and removed a stack of clothing. She pulled on a pair of black pants and then turned around, back to Julian, who already had his back to her and pulled the dress off over her head leaving her naked from the waist up. _

The camera was behind her revealing her sexy back and her soft curves were seen in little flashes as she moved about pulling the black form-fitting t-shirt over her head and pulled it down. The last shot was of Irina's face looking back at the mansion on the cliff getting further away.

_"I couldn't shake the feeling that came over me and yet I didn't know what it was from_." Lena gave voice to Irina's thoughts and feelings once again. _"The electricity in the air before I left the house, I'd only felt in the presence of one other person… an electricity I hadn't felt for years…. 'Was it possible to be so close to Jack… that he was there also? No… it couldn't be…' I'd dismissed the idea almost immediately, angry with myself for even letting my mind go there." _

Irina onscreen shook her head softly and closed her eyes, looking away from the house and picking up her gun. She slid it into the back of her pants and joined Julian at the front of the boat.

* * *

_Los Angeles, California_

_"Sydney!" Sloane jumped up from behind his desk to greet his newest agent. "How wonderful it is to see you again." He reached out to take her hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I haven't seen you since you were a little girl. Do you remember?" _

_"Yes and no." She smiled shyly, taking a seat on the leather couch in his office. "Those years are a little blurry for me."_

_"Yes, I'm sure." Knowing all about the 'reset' ramifications of Project Christmas. "You were still very little when Emily and I moved to Italy." He smiled widely. "She missed you so much…we speak of you often. You should come by and have dinner with us sometime. She'd love that…love to see what a beautiful young woman you've grown into."_

_"I like to see her too." Sydney smiled, fingering her hair behind her ear. _

_"Are you ready for your first field assignment?" Sloane cocked his head, observing her with a smile. _

_"I think so…" She smiled nervously. _

_"Well then, let's have you, meet your new partner." He stood and pressed a button on his intercom. "Can you please send Agent Dixon in? Thank you. You'll enjoy working with Agent Dixon, Sydney. I'm fully confident, the two of you will make an excellent team in the field." Sloane sat on the edge of his desk. "Agent Marcus Dixon," he stood suddenly to greet the tall handsome man coming through the doors, "I'd like you to meet your new partner, Sydney Bristow." _

_"Sydney Bristow… it's nice to meet you. I've great things about you." Dixon smiled widely reaching over to shake her hand and Sydney lit into a big smile, already comfortable with the man. _

_"Sydney… how's your Russian?" Sloane asked with a smile._

_"Russia!" Jack yelled the scene rapidly cut to Jack meeting with Sloane. "My daughters first field mission and you've sent her to Russia? Is this your idea of some sick fucking joke, Arvin?" His face was red with rage. _

_"Calm down, Jack." Sloane sat with ease in his chair a smile on his face._

_"Calm down?" Jack looked at him incredulously, "You're asking me to calm down? When you just sent my unknowingly half-Russian nineteen-year-old daughter into the Motherland!"_

_"Jack, I know why you're upset by the idea of sending Sydney into Russia… Its where her mother was born…" He paused to look at Jack, aware of the irony, "Who was also nineteen when she was sent on her first overseas field assignment to America…" _

_Jack's eyebrows narrowed further, not needing to be reminded of the facts he knew by heart, or yet another similarity between his daughter and her mother._

_"But it was not meant to be an intentional slap in your face, Jack. Sydney is ready, and this just happened to be the next mission. She's ready, Jack… her Russian is excellent. She will do well I'm certain and Agent Dixon is well experienced in the field. If they run into trouble, she can count on him… Which is why I chose him as her partner. You know how much Emily and I love Sydney… as if she were our own." He smiled warmly and Jack wanted to hit the man, "I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. Trust me, Jack." _

Julian's mind sitting in the audience now, flashed back to that night on the plane after they'd extracted Irina and Sloane saying the same thing to her about his love for Sydney.

A statement that seemed to set Irina off as she quickly asked him to excuse she and Sloane so she could talk to him about something privately. He had always wondered what exactly was said then.

* * *

_Moscow, Russia_

The scene opened with Irina at her desk shuffling papers around with another man sitting in front of her.

_"I want the construction to begin on the new clinic immediately. I want it finished by the end of July." Irina started signing some documents._

_"Irina, it will cost twice as much to have it built in that amount of time-" Pytor protested with his voice rising._

_"I don't care how much it cost. Just build it." She looked up angry and annoyed cutting him off._

_"Fine. But I still don't see the point of building a new medical clinic in a little town in Siberia." He argued, tired of her just throwing away money on people she didn't know._

_"The nearest place to receive proper medical care is 175 kilometers away, much too far away for those in the town especially during the winter. That is the point." She was glaring at him from across the desk. The fact that Talia had just been diagnosed with Diabetes was another._

_"Everything you make from the organization you put back into Russia! You are making no profit from all this work, Irina." He shook his head continuing to argue as he packed up his accounting books._

_"I didn't take over the mafia to make money, Pytor. I took over to save Russia and our people from those wishing to profit at her death and at her expense. Russia is profiting and that's the only thing that matters to me." She sighed, fingering her hair behind her ear, "You know this and we certainly don't need the money. We're all living quite comfortably on the family funds."_

_"And yet, you give that away, too." He mumbled, shaking his head._

_"Our family's fortune is more then we can spend in a hundred life times." Her anger was back at his greed. "I will spend both the organizations money and the Romanov fortune as I see fit. End of discussion." She glared at him standing and speaking in a low deadly tone._

_The door suddenly opened revealing Julian, who swallowed uncomfortably in his father's presence. The two shared a brief look of acknowledgement._

_"Father." Julian nodded at him and quickly turned his eyes to Irina. "The car has pulled around out front, as you requested." He informed her and she nodded, snapping her briefcase shut._

_"I need to speak with Sasha on the way out." She picked up her case, speaking with Julian on the reasons why she wanted the car brought around front. "Pytor, I will be in touch." She gave him a small smile and nod before leaving, Julian hot on her heels as they made their way through the club._

**_*Into Thin Air*_**

They stopped briefly at the bar to speak with the club's manager before heading out the front door. Irina sliding into the backseat of the limousine and door closing behind her just as Sydney breezed by the car and the audience gasped at once again how close they were.

Irina turned to Sydney next to her with mouth slightly open in shock, that her daughter's first mission in Russia took place in her club, just after she left. Sydney's face wore the same expression of disbelief.

Each of them had given their own stories to J.J. about the facts of the events that took place when he was writing the screenplay based on _'Truth Takes Time.' _

This was the first time that they were seeing how the facts of those events and these times in their lives coincided and fit together, revealing as in this moment, the near misses. Some of them they knew about from talking, others like this, were completely new in their reveal to them.

Sydney charged into Irina's club wearing a small red dress and blonde wig, sashaying her hips and acting full of confidence even if she didn't feel it. The heads of many men turning her way as she made her way up to the bar.

_"What can I get for you doll?" Sasha leaned over the bar smiling at the beautiful woman taking a seat on the stool._

_"Vodka… on the rocks." Sydney answered in perfect Russian flashing him smiling eyes. _

_He quickly filled a clear glass and set it down in front of her on a napkin, his eyes never leaving her or rather her heaving cleavage. _

_"Thank you." She smiled and turned in her seat to scan the bar for the man she was looking for, finding him immediately sitting at a booth in the back. _

_Slowly, she picked up her drink and weaved through the crowd whispering into her Com in Russian, "I see him." _

_"Roger that… Blue Bird, you're doing fine." Dixon's soothing voice came over her earpiece. _

_The camera flashed to Dixon in a van outside watching Sydney on a monitor as he'd hacked into the security cameras to keep an eye on her._

_Her eyes locked onto the good-looking man in his late thirties with black hair from 50 feet away. Her eyes flashing and reiterating the seduction her body and walk were screaming at him. _

_He flicked his fingers and the guards around him quickly pulled the other woman from the table, much to her dismay as the new woman made her way towards him. _

_Sydney sat down on the chair in front of the man's table, crossing her legs and baring a dangerous amount of thigh as her little dress rode up her legs. She clicked her heel on and off her foot playfully while his eyes roamed her body. She felt nauseous having this creep undressing her with his eyes but pushed the thoughts out of her mind. _

_"I've been watching you from the bar." Sydney spoke first in a husky sex dripping voice. _

_"Have you?" He asked smiling and leaning forward slightly as she took a drink of her vodka and playfully moved the ice cube around in her mouth with her tongue letting him see. _

_"Yes… I have. You seem like a man… who knows what he wants… and goes after it." She swirled her tongue around the ice cube suggestively making the man gulp. "I like that in a man… someone who takes action."_

Jack found himself pulling at his tie with blood pressure rising seeing his daughter onscreen using her sex appeal at only nineteen to lure the man into her trap. He had known she'd done this often on missions but he never saw it nor thought about it, he didn't want to. He found himself swallowing hard with his mouth going dry when the scene rapidly cut to Sydney throwing the man up against a wall in the bathroom and then forcefully kissing him.

_"Oh you like it rough… my kind of woman." He groaned happily when she bit hard into his neck._

_'Asshole!' She found herself cursing internally as her hands raked roughly over his body, inside his jacket and down his sides while her thigh rubbed into his crotch. _

_He was so lost in his growing excitement that he missed the part where her hand removed his bank key card from the interior jacket pocket. _

_Deciding she'd had enough of the man's disgusting tongue in her mouth, she brought her knee crashing up into crotch making him double over in pain, stepped back and spun around, kicking him in the face sending him flying and knocking him out._

_"Well you said you liked it rough." _

Sydney looked down at him and the audience laughed thunderously at her humor. She pulled a syringe out of her cleavage filled with something that would knock him out for at least 24 hours, and injected him with it; ensuring she'd have time to get to the bank first thing in the morning and remove the item from his safety deposit box before he could wake up and tell anyone she'd taken his card.

_Sydney pulled him into one of the stalls under the armpits and set him on the toilet seat, propping him upright then shut the door. _

_"I got it!" She spoke to Dixon with a surprised smile that she actually pulled it off and it wasn't that difficult._

_"Good work. Now get out of there."_

_"He'll be out in a minute. He needs a little time to recover." She winked at the man's guard standing just outside the bathroom. "Tell him I'll be waiting for him outside." She smiled and walked confidently towards the front of the club. When she hit the sidewalk, Dixon pulled up and she quickly jumped inside. Triumphantly, she held up the keycard she had stuffed down the front of her dress. _

_"You're a natural, Sydney." Dixon smiled at her as they raced down the road._

Having seen Irina doing almost the exact same thing before, where that natural ability came from was now extremely obvious to Dixon smiling at the memory of that night watching the scene.

_"Thanks… but now I desperately need some mouthwash to wash away his revolting germs." She made a disgusted face like she was wiping her tongue and the audience roared with laughter. _

"Oh God, Syd, you're funny." Vaughn laughed, smiling and kissing her.

* * *

The next scene showed she and Dixon on a plane headed back to Los Angeles after they retrieved what Sloane wanted from the man's bank account; Sydney was reading her English textbook.

_"So what are you majoring in?" Dixon smiled over at her, curious about his new partner. _

_"English Literature, for teaching." Sydney smiled proudly, fingering her hair behind her ear, "I want to be just like my mom." _

The innocence of her statement after just witnessing her first mission as a spy, Sydney having no idea, she _already was_ just like her mother… stunned them all, especially Irina.

Hearing her daughter's idolization of _'Laura_', yet seeing Sydney echoing her skills in the field, proving she really was her mother's daughter, '_Irina's_' daughter and remembering with vivid clarity, Sydney's denouncement of her, Irina, as her mother that day in the cell; still wanting to hold onto 'Laura' instead of accepting the reality that they were the same person.

Her eyes filled with tears thinking about how painful it had to have been for Sydney to find out the truth, the reality of who she was after idolizing her all her life.

Sydney intuitively looked over after her last statement onscreen, to her mother and saw the silent tear slip down her cheek.

"And I still do." She whispered with a smile, taking her mother's hand and leaning over to kiss her cheek. "I love you Mom, everything about you, exactly the way you are."

How her daughter always knew exactly what she needed, she would never know but Irina couldn't love her more.

"I love you too, Sweetheart,everything about you, exactly the way you are." She smiled, cupping Sydney's face and kissing her back.

* * *

_Los Angeles, California - April, 1996_

_"What do you want for your birthday, Syd?" Noah asked smiling while he flipped a pancake in the frying pan. He was cooking breakfast wearing only his boxer-pants with tousled hair while Sydney sat perched in his shirt on the edge of the counter. _

_"I already told you Noah, you don't have to get me anything." She smiled widely leaning over and kissing his cheek before jumping off the counter heading towards the fridge._

_"Come on Syd, its your twenty-first birthday!" Noah looked at her incredulously, "I'm going to get it out of you, I know you have to want something." He pointed at her with the spatula wearing a smile. _

_"Seriously, I don't want anything. You guys are already throwing me a party. Spending time with my friends is the only gift I want or need." She smiled in return, pouring them both a glass of orange juice and handing him one. _

_"You've got to want something, I'm going to figure it out." Noah shook his head and went back to flipping pancakes. "Humor me, Syd… what was the best gift you've ever gotten?" He looked at her probing for hints. "I mean the absolute best, the ones you'll remember forever… the ones that mean the most."_

_"Well, there isn't just one. There are four." Sydney shrugged with a smile, jumping back up on the counter, swinging her bare legs back and forth against the cupboards. _

_"Okay," Noah motioned with his spatula exasperated and trying not to laugh, "And they were?"_

_"When I was five, my dad brought me home a real art-set from Paris after a business trip." Her smile lit her eyes. "Not for any special occasion, but just because he saw it, thought of me and wanted to give it to me as something special. I loved to draw back then." _

Jack couldn't believe she remembered that, or that she held it as one of her most special gifts she'd ever received.

_"And when I turned six, my mom gave me two of my most prized possessions: a First Edition copy of 'Alice in Wonderland' and a beautiful doll I named Anne, for my middle name." Her dimples deepened to impossible depths as she recounted these details to Noah. "The book had been hers, given to her by my grandmother who died in an accident with my grandpa long before I was born…it had been her most prized possession, most special gift and she gave it to me." Her eyes slowly filled with tears, "She read that book to me every night from the time I was four until… she died." Her smile faded as she averted her eyes briefly, regaining some control before she started crying. Noah turned off the burner and set the spatula aside._

_"And the doll, Anne?" He asked softly, moving to stand in front of her, in between her legs with his hands on her thighs. _

_"Just after Christmas, my Mom had a teaching conference in New York." Sydney collected herself with a deep breath and smile at what he was doing for her, "She took me with her since the meeting was only four hours on a Friday. The rest of the weekend we could spend together. 'Girls Weekend,' she said…" She moved her hand up smiling to wipe the one fallen tear. "We went shopping and passed FAO Schwarz, the toy store but you know that already being from Jersey," She shook her head and he laughed softly nodding, "Anyway," She smiled remembering, "I asked if we could go inside just to look, it had just been Christmas after all so I knew I would be pushing it to ask for anything else." _

_Her eyebrow quirked biting her lip and Noah laughed, "But I'd never seen a toy store that big and neither had she… so we went on our 'looking adventure." Sydney giggled, "I can still remember taking her hand when we went through the doors, the way mine felt in hers and my eyes were bugging out looking around." She laughed softly and so did he. "We walked up and down the aisles, looking at toys and just having fun." She spoke softly with awe in her voice and fingered her hair behind her ear, "When we got to the doll department I just sort of froze, zoned out staring at this doll behind the glass display case probably twenty feet away. My mom had been calling my name and apparently I didn't hear her, so intent at staring at this doll I was, so she knelt down next to me."_

As her mind went back to that moment, a flash of the memory played for the audience with Sydney's voice overlapping the images.

_"She followed my line of sight and saw the doll that was holding my attention. I can still hear her voice, 'She's beautiful,' she whispered in my ear and broke my trance. I wanted that doll so badly and she knew it." Sydney sighed softly with a smile and looped her arms over Noah's shoulders. "She asked me if I wanted to go look at her up-close and I said no. 'I don't want to look at her if I can't have her. She'll be easier to forget that way.' I think my answer stunned her, I was only five and half after all…" Sydney shook her head in her own amazement. _

Sydney's answer onscreen rocked everyone in the audience remembering Irina's reasons for not wanting to look at Sydney's picture at Talia's house, _'if she couldn't have Sydney, she didn't want to look at her; it would be easier to forget her that way.'_

Irina's mind had flashed back to that day and little Sydney's answer and then her own reasoning for not wanting to look at photos of Sydney and started to cry silently, with streaming tears, it had been subconscious on her part, using her daughter's words and reasoning, but she saw now… that was exactly where they'd come from.

_"My mom got this look on her face and just nodded, 'ok,' and I asked if we could leave and we did." _

**_*The Russian Lullaby*_**

_Sydney sighed again, "We went to Central Park and took a carriage ride and it started snowing softly. I remember I sat on her lap under the blanket with my head on her chest, under her chin while she stroked my hair. I was really quiet thinking about that doll and she must have known that's what I was thinking about because she started humming this song softly in my ear, a lullaby she always sang to me when I was upset, 'The Russian Lullaby." She smiled remembering, "I think I fell asleep and I don't really remember much after that. I don't think I ever mentioned the doll ever again even though I thought about her every day." She paused with a sigh. _

The similarities between Sydney and the doll and Irina and Sydney were amazing to everyone and heart wrenching in the reality. Irina had never spoken of Sydney though she thought about her every day…

_"On the morning of my birthday, my mom came into my room to snuggle me, waking me up like she always did and said she had a special birthday present for me, one I didn't have to wait for my party to open." Sydney's smile widened, "I was super curious and sat up eagerly in my bed when she reached around behind her to hand me a long box. I was just frozen a moment, knowing dolls came in boxes that looked like that… 'Go ahead...' Mom prompted me with a smile and I tore the paper off like a maniac opening the box and… there she was, the doll of my dreams. My mom had remembered…" _

_Sydney wiped at another stray tear though she was smiling and speaking softly, "I just launched myself at her, throwing my arms around her neck I was so excited I think I almost choked her I was so happy. I'd never loved my mom more then I did in that moment. Not because of the doll really, but because she had known it was something I'd wanted so badly, and still wanted though I never said anything. It was something special just from her, something special between the two of us because of that day in the toy store and that weekend we had together. One of the last full memories of the two of us together…" _

_She sighed again, shaking her head thinking about all the fog in her mind surrounding that time period, "I still, to this day have no idea when she bought it for me, she had to have gotten it through the mail… but that she took the time, to know what I really wanted, to give me something special just from her… that's what I loved the most about that gift. I slept with Anne every single night until I moved out for college because she was the last gift my mom gave to me before she died. I know it sounds stupid," She fingered her hair behind her ear, looking down shyly, "But I could feel my mom's love for me in that doll... and I didn't want to let it go."_

The truth behind the doll was finally revealed to Jack and the real reasons why she loved it so much. His own eyes burned holding back tears and when he turned his head saw the silent streams running down Irina's cheeks.

Katya's eyes were filling and flowing along with her sister's, realizing more and more with every example like this, why Irina had become who she had with the loss of her daughter when she left America.

_"I don't think it sounds stupid at all, Syd." Noah tilted her face up with fingers to her chin, "Your mom sounded amazing and it's clear, she really, really, loved you… I'd want to hold onto that, too." He kissed her forehead. _

_"Yeah… she did." Sydney sniffed, wiping her tears with a smile. _

"I do." Irina rushed out in a gasp of a whisper, whipping her head to the side and staring into Sydney's eyes a moment before smiling and kissing her wanting so badly to go back in time and be able to give her daughter her love, by enveloping her in her arms and holding her tightly rather then Sydney being forced to feel it from a doll. The kiss wasn't enough and Irina pulled her into a full-fledged bone-crushing hug.

"It's ok, Mom." Sydney hugged her back, whispering into her ear crying softly herself seeing her mother's reaction to this.

"No Sweetheart, it's not." Irina whispered, trying to hold back her tears, "It will never be 'ok,' that my baby had to feel my love from an object rather than my arms."

"I feel it now, Mom." Sydney whispered softly against Irina's ear, held tightly in her mother's embrace.

Irina closed her eyes as more tears surged forth and held Sydney more tightly with a soft smile at her unbelievable child.

_"And the fourth?" Noah asked, moving her hair behind her ear that'd fallen with a smile. _

_"One Christmas, when I was twelve," Sydney sighed, taking a deep breath and collecting herself. "My father and I went through the same ritual of opening gifts, he opening the one from me, I opening the ones that were supposed to be from him." _

_Noah gave her a curious look, not understanding and she explained. _

_"They were actually from my Nanny, Ellen, bought with Dad's money I'm sure but… I always told her what I wanted for Christmas, never him and yet I always got the toys and things I wanted…wrapped under the tree on Christmas Eve with gift tags from him to me, in her handwriting."_

_"Ouch!" Noah sympathized with her, rubbing his hand against her thigh. _

Jack once again felt like he'd been kicked in the gut and wanted to go back in time to knock some sense into himself, shake the crap out of the man he was and say, '_wake up!_' Not that, it would have done any good, he was hopeless to love properly without his heart and soul.

Irina cringed inside, thinking about how badly things had gone for her husband and daughter.

_"Yeah, I know." Sydney sighed heavily again; talking about this was taxing, "He was always too busy working to do the shopping or ask me what I wanted. I really wanted, I guess, which was just something from 'him,' you know?" There was a hint of anger in her voice and clear disappointment while Noah nodded, he understood. "Something he'd picked out just for me because he took the time to know me, what I really liked… I just wanted something that showed he cared, that I mattered enough to spend time finding a gift for… to give me something special from 'him.' Like the book and the doll from my mom… Like the art set he gave me when I was little before my mom died…" _

_Her tears started again and Noah kept nodding softly seeing she was getting upset, "Anyway, he gave me everything I'd told the Nanny I wanted, but nothing from 'him' again… so I went to bed, crying of course which had become a tradition after my mom's death… feeling so unwanted… missing my mom and my dad… he became such a different person after my mom died…" She broke off softly, thinking. "I woke up really early in the morning, went downstairs and to my surprise, there was a stack of books under the tree with a bow on the top… I remember standing there staring at them for a long while before moving. There were four leather bound books and next to them, my report card with the standard twenty dollars for getting good grades," She paused and Noah smiled at her, "I picked up the first book and flipped open the cover to reveal a note he'd left me. It said, 'Sydney, These were your mother's books… her favorites. I think you're old enough to have them now. I love you Sweetheart, Merry Christmas, Dad." _

_S__he sighed again, shaking her head, "The inscription within indicated he'd given them to my mother and tucked between the first couple of pages were photographs of my mother, our family that I'd never seen and I just sat there… staring at them and crying. I was in shock I think… My dad had finally given me something that I'd really wanted, to learn more about my mother and he'd been the one giving it to me… something special just from him, something only he could give me. I was so overwhelmed… When he came downstairs and saw me flipping through the pages of the books with the photos spread carefully around me, he just sort of froze. I jumped up and ran over to him, giving him a big hug and thanking him and immediately firing a hundred questions at him about the photos and books. He sat down on the couch without really saying anything and I picked up this one photo of my mother and I, asking him the details of it. My mom was spooned up behind me in bed, holding me tightly to her and I was clutching my Cookie Monster; I was two."_

**_*Home Movies*_**

_Sydney smiled laughing softly, "He told me he had taken it while we were sleeping in their bed. That my mom would have me sleep with her whenever he was out of town on business and he often came home to find us that way, cuddled up in bed together. I was ecstatic that he'd answered, so openly so I kept asking wanting to learn more and more. I quickly handed him another picture of my mom and I at the beach. I was four and sporting wet pigtails that were curling at the ends. It was a close up profile shot of the both of us… my face had sand on it and I was giving my mom an Eskimo kiss making us both laugh. He told me he'd taken that one as well, that we'd gone to Rosarita, Mexico for his birthday… he'd just gotten home from being gone on a long trip so we rented a cabana on the beach… just us." She smiled thinking about what must have been happy times for her family._

The moments in the photographs she was talking about flashed before the audience in longer flashbacks as she spoke of them, mixed with that of Jack sitting on the couch with Sydney telling her about them on that Christmas Day.

_"He just stared at the pictures, I swear not blinking as he told me about them… all of them. This was monumental, you have to understand because… we never talked about my Mom, not really…I mean, if I asked him a direct question he would answer with as few as words possible and I knew not to probe further. When I was thirteen I finally started to realize the reason he never brought her up or talked about her at all, was because it was too painful of a subject for him. I remembered the kind of love my parents had shared… the person he became after he lost her… so I stopped asking about her and she became an 'off-limits' topic of sorts… The older I got, the less we interacted to the point of non-existent and sometime during my teenage years, I started to think that he hated me because I am a part of her, but not her… and that's who he wants… that he is angry I am still alive and she's the one that's gone… the one he really wants, the one he really loves… Or maybe, that I am too much of a reminder to him of what he's lost… I don't know," She sighed frustrated and began wiping at the tears rolling off her cheeks, speaking rapidly, "But that was the first and last gift he ever gave me that meant anything after my mom died… because it was from him, because it was special, because he actually spent twenty-minutes with me telling me the story behind each photograph and where the books came from and why my mother loved them."_

_"Syd," Noah sighed, cupping her face and wiping her tears with his thumbs, "I've never met your father and I hate seeing how upset he makes you… I don't think he hates you at all… Anybody who knows you, cannot possibly hate you… you are the world's most loveable person." Noah smiled brightly making her smile softly, "I just think he loved your mom so much, that he's never been able to recover from losing her. He was drowning in his own grief and now guilt keeps him from reaching out to you… maybe you'll have to reach out to him." _

_"I've tried that, Noah." Sydney huffed, feeling her anger and hurt rising, "For years I've tried and every single time I was rejected… so I just stopped reaching and have accepted that my relationship with my father will always be this way, non-existent." _


	18. Chapter 18

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): The Gael by Dougie Maclean, from the The Last of the Mohicans Soundtrack, Disco Science **_**by Mirwais from**_** SNATCH Soundtrack, Dream On**_** by Aerosmith**_**, O Holy Night**_** by Sarah McLachlan**_**, ******__Begirlich In Dem Hertzen Min _******by Helium Vola**_********__, Because of You _******by Kelly Clarkson**_********__, ****__Vide Cor Meum _**********by Hans Zimmer from Hannibal Soundtrack,**_********__****__ Inferno _**********by Michael Giacchino from the**_********__****__ ALIAS soundtrack, Bitch _**********by Meredith Brooks**_********__****__, Misirlou by Dick Dale, The Roof Is On Fire _**********by the Bloodhound Gang.**

* * *

EIGHTEEN

o

_Northern Ireland - 1996_

The scene opened with Irina, unconscious and handcuffed to a chair in a dark room. She was wearing one of the black form-fitting long sleeve shirts she had always preferred for battle as well as black pants that resembled her yoga pants in the way the material fit her body; her black shoes more like ballet shoes or those worn in martial arts, all of the articles good for moving around in, when being stealthy… or at least, alluding to that illusion for someone looking at her.

Her face sported a split lip and cheek that was already beginning to bruise and her side had clearly been injured in some way, most likely by a knife, as her shirt was ripped open over the wound where the blood was visible.

Irina's eyes slowly began to flutter open and lifted her head to look around as Lena's voice narrated softly over the scene telling the audience exactly what was going on.

_"Sometimes the easiest way, to get inside of a heavily secured compound… is to allow yourself to be 'caught'… while looking like you're attempting to break in."_

The images onscreen showed Irina glancing down at her side that was gashed. Every one of the former and current CIA agents was immediately associating that statement and her line of thinking to how she infiltrated the CIA.

_"Shit…" She cursed softly in Russian, pissed off at the new wound, more annoyed than anything. _

_"It's a sure fire way to get you inside."_ Lena's voice continued and the other agents in the room went wide-eyed, shaking their heads thinking about her courage or rather insanity for doing so… both at the CIA and apparently, this incident.

Irina pulled on her arms, realizing each hand was tethered to the chair separately and she sighed, the look on her face of complete annoyance and made everyone chuckle with Lena's overlaying thoughts, _"The only problem you're then left with… is how to get out."_

The laughter soon changed to sounds of cringing as the camera shifted around to Irina's back, showing Irina's shackled hands and what she was doing. With a slight grimace of discomfort on her face, she had managed to dislocate one thumb and began pulling and wiggling her hand against the metal trying to free her hand.

'_Tough, didn't even begin to describe the woman.'_ Marshall gulped in unease and queasiness, watching her.

_The large steel door in front of her opened suddenly, temporarily stopping her efforts. _

_"Well, hello, Beautiful." The large man, Mr. Corey, addressed her with a smile, speaking in an Irish accent and followed by two other burly looking men who stood off the side; one sporting tape over his nose and two black eyes. "And you are beautiful." His smile widened as he touched her face softly and she flashed her head to the side, away from his touch and making him laugh as he squatted down in front of her, "Ms. Derevko?" His eyebrow quirked and when she simply stared at him, he knew he had guessed correctly. _

_'Let him blabber on,' she thought while she resumed trying to pull her hand out of the cuff._

_"I knew it had to be you… a woman of dangerous beauty." He continued to smirk at her, "Though I must admit, I'm a little disappointed in what I see before me from what I'd heard of your legend. Not the dangerous beauty part, of course," He reached out to touch her cheek once more with a lustful smile, "But of your skills. I'd heard you were the best of the best, an unstoppable genius with incredible skill and yet, here you are. Caught sneaking into my air-ducts and went down after a brief fight." He turned slightly to smile at the guard with the broken nose, "Though not without marking up some of my men first." He laughed softly, and flicked open a knife blade in front of her face. "And not without them leaving their own marks on you." He used the tip of his knife to pull open the rip in her shirt a little, looking at the wound. "And they did leave their mark didn't they?" He mocked her with a sarcastic smile, "Though I can't really tell how badly from this…" He didn't finish as he slowly leaned forward, sliding the knife under her shirt across her skin delicately as he cut her shirt off._

**_*The Gael*_**

_"There. That's better. Now I can get a good look." His head just inches from her as his eyes went flashing to her breasts and the black satin bra containing them with a smile and slight lick of his lips. _

_Irina's eyes went black with rage as she slowly finished pulling her hand free, having had enough of the man. _

The audience gasped softly when she slammed her head forward into his, knocking him backwards as she jumped up, one arm free and the other still held to the chair, she swung it around using it as a weapon and smashing it across the first guard to step forward with his arm raised, gun in hand, firing.

_The attack with the chair sent him spinning, the gun sliding to the floor as she leapt through the air, using the momentum from swinging the chair and firing off a round-house kick to the other guard, catching him in the throat and sending him flying to the ground; the following leg, catching Corey in the head once more on the way around, stopping his efforts to get up. _

_She rolled to the ground, grabbing the loose gun and fired just as the second guard raised his arm firing at her. She rolled to the right as his shot caught the metal chair sending the bullet ricocheting off while hers hit him right in the forehead, killing him. _

_Irina quickly fired upon the other guard, killing him with his own gun as she flipped off her back with her feline graces and then over her head, all without the use of her hands, slamming her leg down across Corey's throat, sending his knife flying, all with the chair still chained to her wrist whipping around in the air beside her. _

_"Are you impressed now, Mr. Corey?" She asked with a dangerous smile, gun pressing into his temple with her leg across his throat, holding him down. "Thank you, for making it so easy to get inside your compound." _

_His eyes flashed back to hers in realization that she'd wanted to get caught, had let herself be caught as a means to get inside. His forehead was bleeding from where their heads had collided. _

_"Security code." She demanded and he realized what she was after. _

_A rough press of the gun into his skin was all he needed. "4747-9212A-8904R-5672-AK832-B23F4." He spit out rapidly, with fear in his eyes._

_She fired, ending his life with a single bullet and quickly rolling away from him before any messy blood or brain matter could flow onto her legs. _

_'If he hadn't taken her shirt off and ogled her breasts, she might have let him live.' _

She shot the small chain of the handcuffs and freed her other arm before yanking her dislocated thumb back into place as the audience once again cringed audibly.

_Kneeling down she began quickly feeling her way over Corey's body for the activation card to his room with the artifact. _

_Quickly, she grabbed the other man's gun as well and bounded off through the door, running through the corridors and up a set of stairs headed towards the area where the secured room was supposed to be according to the blueprints. _

_Two guards stepped out of another room hearing the gunfire and eyes flashed wide spotting Irina running towards them bloody and in just her bra and pants. She raised both guns and fired each of the men dropping them instantly and jumping over their bodies as she continued on. Her heart pounding in her chest she spotted the room in the distance, with two more heavily armed guards taking up residence outside the doors who began firing at her. She rolled head first to get out of the path of the bullets and fired at her attackers as her rotation completed killing them both with bullets to the head as she bounced back up on her feet and kept running forward towards the door. _

_Quickly, she swiped the security card and entered the number of the security code. The doors opened and she stepped inside, immediately spotting the artifact on a shelf, a diamond shaped glass prism. _

Everyone watched in confusion as Irina reached down and squeezed the metal clasp in the front of her bra and then carefully grabbed the prism, dropping the empty gun and bolted from the room, her head whipping to the side as she saw four more guards approaching and firing at her.

_She returned the fire as she ran towards the large open wall of glass at the end of the hallway. Knowing it was only bullet proof from the outside, she fired, shattering it and then flying right past a maid who stood frozen in fear as she watched the woman in black fly out the window with the guards firing after her. _

_Irina hit the ground with a thud, felt the crunch and heard the crack as her arm broke and she swore in pain and pissed off anger but rolled forward into a stand and kept running towards the edge of the lawn and cliff, bullets zinging by her while she ran harder and harder, reaching her arm back and returning fire at the men now pursuing her on all terrain vehicles. Her gun, she tossed aside as it ran out of bullets._

The audience members were all cringing looking at her left arm held close to her body knowing she'd broken it but gasped when a bullet grazed her side and then held their breaths when she ran full speed towards the edge of the cliff.

A black helicopter suddenly rose from below with Julian in the side compartment, rifle in hand he began to fire upon her pursuers… Realization dawned on them, that Irina had been contacting her Extraction Team with whatever signal she released by pressing the clasp in her bra, and eyebrows rose impressed.

Irina lunged in a spectacular slow-motion shot of her flying through the air and grabbing hold of the skid of the chopper with one arm, holding on by the crook of her elbow with the artifact in hand as the helicopter tore away from the cliffs with Julian still firing upon the men firing at them as they headed out over the ocean.

The image of Irina, dangling by one arm off the skid of a helicopter over the ocean in just her bra and pants, bleeding and broken as the sun set behind them was nothing short of amazing.

"Breathe, Sweetheart." Irina squeezed Jack's hand with a smile, whispering into his ear acutely aware of the fact he hadn't for quite sometime now.

Jack finally released the breath he'd been holding and looked at his beautiful wife beside him and then to the image of her onscreen dangling from a helicopter skid over the ocean and shook his head in wonder, _true wonder,_ that she really had survived these last twenty years.

_When they were a safe distance away, Julian quickly threw his gun behind him and leaned over the side, reaching down and grasping Irina's slipping arm, pulling with all his might as he helped her into the helicopter. _

_Once she was inside, they both collapsed back onto the metal floor, exhausted and panting heavily. The prism reflecting light from the sunset, bouncing an unusual pattern of colors around them in a way not normally seen, indicting this prism was indeed something special to those watching as Irina held it above her, twisting it slowly and changing the light direction with a satisfied smile. _

_Julian recovered and immediately set to work with the First Aid Kit on Irina as the helicopter went off into the distance._

'_Oh boy…_' Irina winced internally knowing what was coming next in the film and began to unconsciously rub small circles over her belly staring at the screen.

Jack noticed the unconscious gesture on her part, something she did now when she was nervous and needed comfort when she wasn't doing it to the back of his hand. The fact that she had chosen her belly and the babies, over his hand worried him greatly in what he was about to see; having a feeling he was about to be kicked in the gut again.

* * *

**_*Disco Science*_**

_London, England_

The scene picked up immediately as the camera followed Irina through a posh dark club in London, dressed in a black skirt and jacket, the sleeve had been cut off to accommodate her new black cast that stretched from her shoulder all the way down her arm and still looking positively gorgeous as she weaved her wave with intent towards the back.

Three guards followed her every move and they were met with two more, when she approached her office door. One quickly stepping out of her way while the other opened the door for her.

That sense of foreboding was justified when Jack felt the invisible kick to his gut when Irina entered the office and Dubey was sitting on the couch, waiting for her with arms sprawled comfortably across the back, devilish smile across his face that fell immediately upon seeing the broken and battered woman.

_His smile fell into a look of disdain and curiosity when he saw her battered face and cast as the door closed softly behind her. Irina smiled softly at Dubey as she made her way immediately to the mini-bar, badly in need of a drink after the last two days. _

_"Sorry to keep you waiting," Irina poured herself a glass of vodka and quickly downed it, welcoming the burn. "I was detained longer then expected."_

_"I won't bother asking what happened as I know you won't tell me." Dubey stood and walked over to stand beside her desk with a smile. _

_Irina's enigmatic smile in return confirmed that fact. _

_"Nice cast. Can I sign it?" He asked teasing then laughing at the look she gave him. _

_She set her empty glass aside and walked seductively towards her desk, leaning back against it just in front of him. _

_"I owe you and you're here to collect." Irina cocked her eyebrow at him, moving her arm and trying to get used to the annoying cast, "What is it that you want?"_

_"You." Dubey smiled and stepped forwardly immediately taking her into his arms and pressing her back against the desk. "For starters…" He breathed heavily looking over her face and down her chest that was exposed by the open buttons of her blouse. "The rest can wait." His mouth closed hungrily over hers in a searing kiss as both pairs of hands began to strip the other of their jacket. _

_Irina's adrenaline rush was still coursing through her veins from her escape only hours ago and needed this release of pent up tension. Her hands worked feverishly, fumbling slightly with her limited use of one hand, to remove him of his shirt as his mouth ravished her mouth and neck working much to slowly for her liking on her blouse buttons._

_Her fingers, rapidly undoing his belt and buttons and she gasped when he pinched her nipples hard through her shirt and bra. As revenge for that and a way to speed him up, she pulled his belt free, folded it in half snapping it across his ass with one hand while she raked her nails roughly down his chiseled abs making him hiss from the torture. _

_That did the trick and swiftly, her blouse was discarded and he grabbed the hem of her skirt, pushing it up around her hips and forcing himself between her legs. None-to-gently, he ground his mouth into hers while pushing her down on the desk. _

_A moment of panic flashed through Irina and she abruptly stopped his kiss, pushing against him. _

_"Not on the desk!" _

_"Wh-" He was about to ask looking at her bewildered but she cut him off more forcefully with her demands. _

_"Not. On. The desk!" Irina's eyes burned with passion and anger and she whipped him hard across his ass with each stressed word. He didn't care 'where' anymore as long as he could bury himself inside her as soon as possible. _

_Dubey pulled her up and clashed their mouths together once more as he lifted her from the desk and walked towards the nearest wall while Irina locked her legs around his waist. _

The reason why Irina panicked and was insistent upon not being pinned down on the desk was sadly obvious to everyone. Images of Cuvee and his desk used to torture her for his own sick pleasure in Kashmir flashed through their own minds.

That thought, brought tears to both Katya and Sydney's eyes; especially Sydney having been there in person to see her mother pinned to the desk while he violated her that left haunting repercussions.

_With a loud thud, Dubey slammed her into the wall, his hands gripping her sides over her new stitches and making her hiss with the unexpected move. His eyes tracked down with the feel of the rough blue sutures and then back up at her, shaking his head before capturing her mouth once more, then neck as he hiked her up higher on the wall. _

_Irina locked her legs behind him again, and wrapped her cast-covered arm around his shoulders, while he unzipped his pants and freed himself, and his trousers fell in a puddle around his ankles. _

"Mmm. Nice ass." Sophia smiled and stifled her laughter when Weiss shot her an annoyed look, his eyes going back and forth from Sophia to the image on screen of Dubey's backside, pressing Irina against the wall of her club's office, her legs wrapped around his waist, still wearing her black heels just above the man's rock hard ass now streaked with red welts from Irina whipping him with his own belt.

Their attention was quickly snapped back into focus when Dubey thrust wildly up into Irina and they both let out a mixture of gasps and screams, from his invasion and her heat. His hard thrust causing Irina to dig her nails painfully into his back, drawing blood as he began to pound into her.

_"Oh. My. God." Dubey grunted a word with each drive making her pant, "You. Feel. So. Fucking. Fantastic!" He groaned rapidly and loudly, burying his head into her neck as he pumped furiously inside her and she clenched around him tightly internally and externally. Her nails digging into his back continuing on their path of destruction, as she continued to whip him while his hands gripped her sides roughly. _

_The pain of the three acts mixing wildly with their pleasure about to explode, as they were both close to the edge. _

_"What are the…" Dubey broke off moaning and hissing from the leather sting as sweat began to form in a fine sheen over his body, "Stitches from?" He finally managed to get out as he shifted his hips so his pubic bone rubbed hard against her pleasure button causing Irina to gasp in short breaths. _

_"Bullet and…" She squinted her eyes feeling herself about to go over, gasping for each breath as he slammed harder and harder into her, "Blade graze." _

_His hand moved up her side and roughly pawed at her breast through her bra, biting her neck and as he exploded inside her, pumping furiously until she imploded around him._

_With his efforts spent, his knees began to buckle and he collapsed backwards onto the couch, bringing her down with him. _

_They lay there like that, with her on top of him for a second with chests still heaving as they tried to regain control of their breathing._

_"Why don't you ever wear Kevlar?" Dubey asked breathless with his hand coming up to graze over her stitches in her side, too tenderly and loving for her liking._

**_*Dream On*_**

_Irina sighed heavily and pulled herself up and away from him. Pushing down her skirt and walking away towards the desk… always hating herself after, and knowing she'd do it again. _

_"The point of Kevlar, is to save life. It doesn't do any good if you're already dead." She answered quietly while slipping her arms precariously into her blouse, also missing a sleeve._

Her answer rocked everyone to the core, especially Jack. That statement shook him more than any of the wild sex he'd seen before. Fifteen years later, and Irina really was just… '_existing_.'

The images of the previous scenes and especially the night in Moscow when Cuvee had shot her in the chest and he'd shot her in the abdomen, all times when she was without Kevlar flashed through his mind. Irina really didn't care if she died, she already considered herself to be dead.

_"I walked into impossible situations, that I knew… I should have never walked out of."_ Lena's voice carried over as the image showed Irina looking at her reflection in the decorative mirror behind her desk as she buttoned her shirt and then faded out to show her driving with incredible speed on a mountain road in Switzerland.

The song playing now, coming from the radio in Irina's convertible black Porsche; her hair in a French Twist but the loose strands were flying wildly in the wind, sunglasses over her eyes and her bent cast enclosed left arm resting over the side of the door.

_"Part of me was hoping that one day I wouldn't… warring with the part of me that was ruled by my instinct to survive, the instinct that seemed to take over and allow me to walk away from those impossible situations for the last fifteen years."_

And there it was, in Irina's own words. Confirming Jack's thoughts and fears and 'damn happy,' that her survival instincts won out, over her wanting to die while in those impossible situations.

Jack reached over with unshed tears and clasped her hand in his, squeezing and drawing her attention.

Irina was startled at first to feel him reaching over to her so quickly after watching her with Dubey onscreen and her heart sank when she initially saw his tears. But the way he looked at her, she understood, it wasn't her actions onscreen that had gotten to Jack, it was her words. She leaned over close to him.

"Why do you think I started wearing Kevlar again… after Moscow?" She asked him in a whisper with her face just inches from his. She paused for a second to catch his gaze while his mind flashed to Dixon holding up her bullet riddled Kevlar after going to get Sloane. "Because I had a reason to care. Care, if I walked into a situation that I would walk back out. I had my heart back… my soul," She laid her palm over his cheek with tears in her eyes, "I finally felt alive and I had a reason to want to stay that way. Because of you, because of Sydney and Lena and Julian. The only thing worth living for, for me, is my family."

Jack immediately closed the small distance, pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss as both their tears fell; in time with Sydney's… who had heard her mother's words to her father and they sent emotion washing through her like a tidal wave. Her tears turned to rivers as she sat silently staring at the screen a slow smile spreading across her face and she reached over to grab Vaughn's hand. He looked over at her with confusion seeing the rampant tears and a smile.

She read the look in his eyes and leaned over, kissing him softly whispering so only he could hear, "I'll tell you later."

He nodded softly and their attention went back to the screen.

Julian on the other hand, was completely lost in thought. All the breath had been sucked out of him with Irina's reveal onscreen. The real reason she never wore Kevlar. She had always told him it got in the way of her hand-to-hand combat skills making it more dangerous, which for her… seemed very logical in reason so he never questioned it. To learn that part of her had been hoping to be killed… that she had considered herself all those years to already be dead… it explained why she was fearless walking into the most insane situations. Why she had been so successful and succeeded where other's had failed… She kept going where they stopped because she had no limits in regard to her own life, because she held it with no value. She had nothing to lose. She always seemed so indestructible to him, getting what should be, mortally wounded and bouncing back again and again. Part of him had hoped since he was a child, that part of the reason she stayed alive and kept coming back was for him. So that he wouldn't be alone, because they were all each other had. But that wasn't it. It was a crushing blow.

Irina was also lost in thought, thinking about that time period and her words and reasoning. Her eyes shifted down the aisle smiling as they landed on each person she cared for and stopped on Julian, his face suddenly holding her complete attention. It was like she was having an epiphany. She had said, that it was her instinct to survive that often brought her out of those impossible situations, but somewhere, subconsciously, it had been Julian, too. Her need, not to want to 'abandon' him and leave him all alone that had started when he was little… which is why she began to take him practically everywhere with her. He had been part of that survival instinct; she needed to tell him that.

The scene had changed to a montage showing Irina working out once again thinking about Sydney and then Jack.

As the flashes of Jack came across her anger slowly surfaced and was clearly accelerating her efforts as she blasted the punching bags with rapid punches using her good arm and kicks working herself into a frenzy as the words '_he hates you' _ran in loops in her head with her own counters of_ 'and I hate him._'

The shot then switched to her running up a mountain with the same rage driving her on. Her hair was in a ponytail with wisps curling around her face with tear streaks as she ran on.

* * *

_Prague - 1996_

_Irina was sitting in another one of her houses reading over a Rambaldi document and decoding it with Julian when her secured phone rang._

_"Hello?" She answered with a sigh, she was tired and would take a break as soon as this call ended to meditate and get some rest. _

_"Irina, it's Vladimir. The Swiss have arrested Sergei Mikhailov on charges of laundering $60 billion through their banks. They want Russia's help in prosecuting him. What do you want us to do?" _

Irina onscreen sighed rubbing her temples thinking as Lena's voice relayed information.

_"Sergei Mikhailov; or 'Mikhas' as he's referred to in the organized crime world: the head of Solsnetskaya Organization consisting of more then five thousand members all over the world. The largest branch of Russia's mafia and my biggest headache over the last few years. If we help them, they will no doubt be able to put him away… but that still leaves us with the problem of his organization and the chaos that will ensue over who of his officers will try to take over." _

She rubbed her temple with another sigh thinking.

_"With my influence in Russia after taking over every other branch of the Russian mafia over the years,"_ Lena's narration continued, _"Mikhas began to feel the squeeze and left Russia, setting up his headquarters in Israel and Switzerland. We'd co-existed somewhat peacefully over the last couple of years because he'd stayed out of Russia but as of late, he'd become a major problem; slowly moving back into the country with Cocaine and stealing Russian girls for a prostitution ring… two things I absolutely would not stand for; all with the intent of reclaiming his old territory, now run by me. He had a problem with my way of running things and was still bitter about a 'woman' taking over in the first place." _

_"Refuse to help them_." Irina had made her decision. _"He'll get off and come back to Russia thinking it's a safe haven for him, if I've refused to help the Swiss imprison him... especially since he's unaware I know what he's been up to." Her facial features became hard_. _"Then, I'll take care of him and his organization, my own way."_

And there it was. The answer to everyone's question who knew the situation as to 'why' Russia had refused to help bring down the World's Largest Crime Boss when they had the chance.

People in Intelligence had assumed it was because Mikhas had connections and people bidding his dirty work inside the new fragile government of Russia and that his loyal minions threatened those who had the power to bring him down.

The real answer had been a strategically planned move by Irina, as a means to bring him down herself, in her own way, in their own country and them take over his empire and bring it under her control; showing them yet again, the magnificent brilliant way her strategic little mind worked.

* * *

**_*Holy Night*_**

Moscow - 1997

The scene opened in the orphanage Sydney instantly recognized as the one her mother had taken her to last Christmas for the first time. Images of the children going nuts on Irina's command opening their gifts with wild abandon caused everyone to laugh with happiness seeing their cute faces light up.

_Irina watched with a sad smile as flashes of Sydney tearing open her own gifts when she was little ran through her mind. Her thoughts were broken when she felt a little body slam into her from behind with arms wrapping tightly around her neck. _

Everyone in the audience smiled with happy sadness watching the children flock to Irina and tackled her with hugs and kisses of thanks while she sat on the floor.

A montage of scenes flashed before them showing Irina playing with several children and their new toys, then helping them all get ready for bed, putting on pajamas and tickling them into fits of giggles; then sitting in a chair in front of the Christmas tree in the upper level where they slept.

Both of her arms each wrapped around a child, while others took up residence on the floor around her, all listening intently as she read them a story before bed. She helped the caregivers tuck them all in and gave each a hug and kiss before turning out the lights.

Julian sat flabbergasted having no idea that she had done such things while he knew her. His father, she had appointed the philanthropist of the money, doling it out at Irina's command but never, had he known she actually went to the orphanages, and interacted with the children like this. These children had seen a side to her that he never had until moving in with she, Jack and Lena upon his release.

The image flashed to Irina putting on her coat and hugging Babushka goodbye before stepping out in the dark night.

_When she opened the door, her eyes flashed wide with surprise looking down at the basket on the step. Slowly and with trembling hands, she lifted the thick fur blanket back and gasped, as did the audience, upon seeing a very tiny newborn baby with jet-black hair asleep. _

_"Irina…" Babushka came up behind her, seeing her kneeling in the doorway letting the cold air and snow blow in. "What are you-?" The question died on her lips as she looked over Irina's shoulder. "Another drop off." She sighed with sadness even as her face lit with a small smile seeing the baby yawn and stretch. "There always seems to be more at Christmas." She touched Irina's shoulder gently. _

_Irina finally snapped out of her daze that someone could just leave their newborn baby in a basket on a doorstep in the middle of a Russian winter, and she realized with a heavy heart…they must have been desperate, just as she had been to leave Sydney behind. Quickly, she scooped up the basket and followed Babushka inside. They set the basket on the counter as the other caregivers flocked around them to see the new arrival. _

_"Best get a bottle started," Babushka smiled at one of the women, "This little one is starting to wake up and bound to be hungry." _

_Irina stood absolutely still and transfixed looking at the tiny baby beginning to squirm in the basket. _

_"Go ahead." Babushka smiled at her, seeing the itch in her eyes to pick up the baby. _

_Irina swallowed hard and began removing her coat, setting it off to the side before carefully picking up the baby swaddled in a large white undershirt, cradling it in her arms with heart pounding rapidly. _

_"And she came with a note." Babushka plucked the little white card out of the lining of the basket. "She was born this morning and has no name. Please take care of her, as we cannot. God Bless." She read and they all looked back at the baby with sadness. A tiny cry erupted from her as she threw her arms up fully waking up. "Right on time." The woman smiled handing Irina the bottle. "I'll go get her a diaper and nightgown… a warm blanket, too." She smoothed her hand gently over the baby's tiny head. _

_With little effort, Irina got the baby to accept the bottle and eat, swaying gently from side to side staring down into her big eyes. The two pairs of eyes transfixed on each other and Babushka smiled with a heavy heart, seeing the longing in Irina's eyes. _

The scene cut to Irina in the dark, lit only by the Christmas tree lights quietly rocking the newborn baby, now changed and swaddled in a new blanket. Her eyes drifting closed as she lay curled against Irina's chest, her little head nestled under Irina's chin, her little fists up by her face and body still curled in the fetal position, only hours old.

_"Is she asleep?" Babushka asked softly with a smile as she came into the room and saw the two. _

_"I think so." Irina smiled softly, unable to see as she patted the baby's back softly. _

_"Yes. She is." Babushka's smile lit her face as she peered at the sleeping baby. "I think you should name her." Her smile deepened as she saw Irina's eyes flash to hers, stunned. "You found her after all." _

_Irina carefully pulled the baby back to rest in her hands as she looked down at her. Her dark little Mohawk, her long fingers and dimples, she reminded her so much of her own baby._

_ "Sydney." Irina smiled softly with a pained look in her eyes. _

_"After your daughter?" Babushka smiled softly, running her hand over Irina's cheek when Irina nodded, knowing how much the woman had missed her child. "It's beautiful… It's perfect."_

* * *

**_*Begirlich In Dem Hertzen Min*_**

_Berlin, Germany - February 1998_

The scene opened with the Berlin skyline at night and then into a hotel suite where Irina sat on the edge of the bed in her bra and black pants getting dressed while Dubey lay on his side, under a sheet watching her.

_His eyes fell upon the blue tattoo exposed from behind her pants when she bent over to get her shoe. Carefully he reached out and traced it with his thumb. _

_"You were in prison for Treason?" He asked quietly at the same time and Irina grabbed her stiletto from the nightstand, whirling around with fire in her eyes and panic surging through her that he knew. She pinned him down, straddling his chest with knife to his throat._

_"Who told you that?" Irina demanded with chest heaving and black eyes. _

_"I recognized the tattoo. I knew it meant you'd been in prison in the Soviet Union. I was curious to find out why." Dubey lay completely still under her, speaking softy with his eyes held fast to hers, fascinated by her reaction and not stupid enough to move, knowing she was lethal; yet he wanted answers and was willing to push. "Were you convicted of Treason because you married an American during the Cold War, or because of your secret identity as The Romanov and heir to the throne of Russia?"_

_Irina gasped softly, stunned he knew that much and anger and fear collided inside of her. _

_"I told you my personal life was off limits." She seethed with heart thundering in her chest and blood rushing in her ears. Her tone was like steel and she pressed the blade into his throat breaking the skin. _

_"Irina, we've been sleeping together for years and you tell me nothing about yourself." Dubey braved her wrath and brought one hand up to rest gently on her forearm with the hand that held the blade to his throat._

_"We never sleep. We fuck… but we never sleep together." Irina was white hot with rage and even more, angry that he wasn't fighting back, just lying there, with care in his eyes. _

_"Not because I don't want to with you… I want you to stay with me. To sleep with me until the sun rises for once." Dubey moved his hand gently up her arm, ignoring the cold steel biting into his flesh. _

_"This isn't a romance. You know that. It is what it is and nothing more." Irina's eyes bore into his as she leaned forward in a deadly whisper, "Tell me everything you know." _

_"Not much. Only that you were married to an American during the Cold War, that you were arrested and put in prison for Treason in the Soviet Union in the early 80s." He swallowed hard and the blade dug deeper into his flesh, letting a small rivulet of blood run down the shiny metallic length and drip onto the pillow, "That you were a top General in the KGB Division of SMERSH before the Union's collapse… and that you are the daughter of Anastasia Romanov and granddaughter of Tsar Nicholas II… That's all $3.5 million would get me over the last six months." He gave her a small smile trying to break the tension._

_"You paid someone to dig up information on me?" Irina's voice was deadly, her eyes barely open in slits and body trembling with rage. _

_"You can't blame me for being curious… wanting to know more about you. I'd never tell a soul anything or use it against you, Irina." His hand moved up to tuck her falling hair behind one ear with a loving touch and tender eyes and voice, "I just wanted to know more about you. I care about you." His eyes bore into hers, "I love-"_

_"Don't say it!" Irina immediately pressed harder with the knife against his throat and covered his mouth with the other hand, unwilling to hear him declare the love for her she already saw in his eyes. "You don't love me. You don't know me. This is lust not love." She held his eyes for just a moment and had to turn away, quickly rolling away from him. _

_"You're wrong." Dubey sat up quickly with blood running in a fine sheen down his neck onto his chiseled chest. "Lust is definitely a factor but not the only one… at least not for me. I love to make you laugh, to see you smile. You're the most fascinating, strong, brilliant and beautiful woman I've ever known. I want to marry you, Irina. I want to have babies with you and grow old with you… I've never felt the way for a woman, the way I feel about you. Why can't you trust me? Let me in?" He moved closer to the edge of the bed where she was facing away from him, not moving and silent._

_"I trust no one… and you even less now." Irina picked up his hand and dropped it from her shoulder, her black eyes piercing his, "I told you my personal life was off limits and you deliberately went behind my back. You knew the rules between us and you broke them." She jumped up from the bed and reached for her blouse. _

_"I went behind your back because you forced me to! What about any of that from your past is so shameful that you wouldn't just tell me? Why can't you understand I don't want to hurt you? I just want to know you!" Dubey fired back feeling his world slowly spinning out of control and worried he was losing her. _

_"I didn't tell you because it's none of your business!" Irina's tone was controlled and lethal, "We are not in a relationship where I 'need' to tell you everything or anything for that matter, about me!" _

_Dubey studied her for a moment while she finished dressing rapidly in silence, "So is he the reason you won't commit to a relationship with me?" He asked quietly. _

_"Who?" Irina asked irritated as she pulled on her black leather jacket, blood still rushing in her ears._

_"Your American husband? Because I don't care if you're married, that doesn't change how I feel about you-" His question and mention of Jack stopped her movements dead in her tracks. _

_"I'm not married. I don't have a husband and I'm not having this conversation with you." Her eyes locked onto his as she twirled the stiletto in her fingers with agility and deadly grace, "If you go digging around in my personal life again, I will kill you… consider this your warning." She flicked the knife and sent it up her sleeve, hidden from sight._

**_*Because of You*_**

_"Who hurt you so badly… you're incapable of trusting?" Dubey asked quietly with curious sadness._

_"I'm warning you…" Irina shook her head hoping he really did leave her past alone, whirled around and stalked out of the room. She stepped outside and inhaled the fresh air rapidly then exhaled slowly in a cloud where warm met cold. She hadn't felt that trapped in a long time and turned quickly to walk down the sidewalk, away from him and the old images flashing through her mind. _

_"I couldn't escape Jack no matter how hard I tried to, and I hated him for that."_ Lena's voice narrated over Irina's image walking down the snow covered sidewalk in the Berlin night, _"I hated, that I had let myself get close enough to Vijay that he was beginning to get near the truth. Hated that he wanted a life with me that I couldn't give him, hated that he cared that much about me to want to. I hated Jack for rendering me incapable of living without him." _

_Irina reached up to brush the falling tears from her cheeks, stinging from the cold breeze and leaned against the railing over looking the river, closing her eyes against memories and feeling entirely alone._

* * *

**_*Vide Cor Meum*_**

Ekaterinburg, Siberia - May 1998

The scene opened with Irina standing beside a mound of muddy dirt looking down into a hole, silent tears running down her cheeks.

Everyone immediately breaking into tears realizing she was staring into the grave of her mother and Sydney leaned over, gripping her mother's hand tightly as did Jack; Marcelo and Sophia doing the same with Katya.

Irina onscreen then dropped to her knees in the mud, silent sobs wracking her body as she rocked back and forth before a strangled scream ripped from her body and the sobbing turned loud with anguish and rage.

_She collapsed forward, in hysterical cries with fingers and fists grabbing the wet earth, wailing over her mother's death and her part in it, screaming in rage and pain seeing the exposed skull and bones mingled in the mud below._

Katya was seeing for the first time, Irina's emotional reaction in stark contrast to the controlled woman who had come to tell her of the news and it tore her apart. The raging tears now burning her eyes, not for the loss of her mother, but for her sister and what their mother's death had done to her; the impact of her loss and Irina's self-hatred over it.

* * *

_Venice, Italy_

The scene cut to the opera house and Irina once again, breathtakingly beautiful arrived by gondola in the moonlight.

_Dmitri had told her, that Katya was in Venice on a photo-shoot for the week, and on that evening would be attending the opera. She smiled at the young man who opened the door for her and headed up the beautiful staircase knowing exactly where her sister would be seated, something her people had found out for her. _

_The opera had already begun and everyone sat quietly in their seats watching and listening intently. She opened the door and quietly slipped inside, closing it softly behind her, bracing herself and locking away all emotions before approaching her sister. She didn't feel she had the right to cry over the news, as she was the one responsible for their mother's death. She wouldn't hurt Katya further by showing her own selfish pain. _

_Katya was completely enthralled with the performance and didn't notice Irina until she was sitting just beside her in the Private Box over looking the stage. She smiled softly in the dark, surprised to be staring at her sister's beautiful profile beside her, the smile leaving the moment she realized, Irina had a reason for being there._

_Slowly, Irina turned to look from the stage to meet her sister's eyes. _

_"I found Mama…" She whispered softly and Katya gasped instantly with hand flying to her mouth, tears immediately flooding her eyes. "And Alexei." Irina added quietly, swallowing hard and turning her eyes away briefly, needing a short reprieve before turning back. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to have her and Alexei moved to St. Petersburg to be with the others in St. Peter and Paul's?" _

_"Yes," Katya choked out nodding, "Of course. Where they belong." Another round of tears surged forth in disbelief and relief they'd finally found them._

_"I've already spoken with Vladimir on how to handle it publicly, so they can be buried together without question. As far as the world is concerned, Mama died at age seventeen with her family." _

_Katya's tears would not stop and kept coming staring into the blank emotionless eyes of her sister, and wanting to scream, reach out and grab Irina, shake this ghost before her until she came to life again, living and feeling instead of acting on auto-pilot. But instead, she sat there crying and staring, doing nothing but listening._

_"I've made arrangements for you to spend some time with them… before it goes public if you'd like." Irina fingered a loose hair from her French twist behind her ear that had been framing her face. _

_"Yes." Katya answered quietly nodding, her face contorting with another held in cry at the thought though she tried to hold it back in front of Irina, not wanting to add to the guilt she knew her sister felt. "I'll leave tomorrow night when I'm finished here." _

_Irina merely nodded solemnly, pausing briefly before standing. _

_"Thank you… for finding her… all of them." Katya choked on her tears, her voice cracking, "For coming here, to tell me." _

_"It was the least I could do." Irina whispered back, feeling like a million knives were slowly stabbing through her heart, her guilt once again washing over her like a tidal wave. _

As they watched Irina, onscreen, disappear into the darkness yet again, Katya was wishing she could go back in time so that they could mourn together. Wishing she had told Irina so long ago that she didn't blame her, that she forgave her then, so that maybe, her sister wouldn't have carried around so much self-hatred over their mother's death.

* * *

**_*Inferno*_**

_Jakarta, Indonesia_

_Irina sat watching the fire red sky at sunset shift in colors as it set on the horizon over the ocean. She twirled a half empty bottle of vodka in the sand between her legs as silent tears slipped down her cheeks, thinking about her mother. So lost in thought was she, that she didn't hear the man approaching her from behind._

_"Hey Gorgeous." Dubey smiled, taking a seat in the sand next to Irina. "I heard you were back in town." His smile immediately fading when he saw the tears she was now desperately trying to wipe away, surprised. "Hey… what's wrong?" He asked softly with surprise having never seen her like this before, so… fragile. Not looking at all like the Irina he knew, the deadly Irina who let nothing and no one get to her. He cupped her cheek when she looked away, forcing her to look back at him, curious about this side of her… the side he knew existed somewhere inside her and had rarely ever seen so openly. _

_"Nothing." Irina gave him a forced smile, "How are you?" Stuffing all the emotions she was having back into their compartments._

_"Are these over your mother?" Dubey asked thumbing away the remaining tear tracks, staring into her eyes. "I saw on CNN that they found her remains." He spoke softly._

_Irina turned her head away from his penetrating gaze and back to the crashing waves. _

_"I must say I'm confused as to why she was buried in an open grave, in Siberia… where they found the rest of her family... when she obviously gave birth to you long after they were assassinated and buried there. Yet, she was found with an execution style wound to the head. I know her life was a big secret but, care to explain?" He asked softly._

_"I told you before… my personal life is off limits." Irina answered in a stern tone, her emotions turning to anger quickly. More at herself and the reasons behind why her mother was buried in an open grave in Siberia bearing execution markings, then his asking. She quickly jumped to her feet with bottle in hand, intent on leaving. To her surprise, the next thing she knew she was flying towards the sand face first, landing with a thud before being pulled back. _

_Dubey had grabbed her ankle, yanking her back and preventing her from leaving. She slapped him hard when he rolled her over and straddled her body in the warm sand, panting with anger. _

_"Get away from me!" Irina hit him again when he didn't move and only smiled down at her. _

_"I don't think you want that at all." He moved further up her body with a dangerous smile. "You need some release." _

_"Oh go to hell and get the fuck off!" Irina was pissed and strategic about her methods as she began striking him hard with both hands. _

_"There was a reason you came here, to this beach, in front of my club." He smiled grabbing both of her hands and pinning them down with a smirk. And with that, he was in the perfect position and she threw her long flexible leg up, kicking him hard in the back of the head. "Ah fuck, Irina!" He gasped in pain, releasing her hands and grabbing his head instead falling to the sand beside her where she quickly rolled on top of him, holding him down. _

_Her body straddling his, chest heaving with pants she locked eyes with him and then dove in, meeting his mouth in a searing kiss. He was right, as much as she hated that, she needed this, needed this release and she hated herself for that._

Irina reached over and grabbed Jack's hand, placing it over her belly without looking at him, keeping her eyes on the screen. Jack's eyebrows narrowed curiously and linked his fingers with hers over their babies, still inside her and the one against his chest, still sleeping like a peaceful angel.

* * *

**_*Bitch*_**

_"You know I've never even been inside your house." They were lying side by side, still panting as they came down from their last explosive reunion in his bed, in his house. "You're always so mysterious, Irina Derevko, an enigma that I've been trying to figure out for the last four years… What is it that you're hiding?"_

_"I'm not hiding anything." Irina moved to get up, not in the mood to have this conversation yet again, grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her head as she sat on the edge of the bed. _

_"Why won't you marry me then?" Dubey sat up moving her hair to the side and kissing her neck, snaking his hands under her shirt. _

_"We've already been over this." She sighed exasperated as a flash of Jack raced across her mind. "I've been married, it didn't work… and I have no intention of ever marrying again." _

_"Ok, fine… Then at least have my baby?" He brushed his hand over her abdomen with his mouth near her ear. "We'd make great babies together." _

_And with this, a flash of Sydney as a baby ripped through Irina, forcing her eyes closed. _

_"We've been over this too." She peeled his hand away from her body and stood rapidly, finding her skirt and pulling it on. "I'm not cut out for motherhood. Why must you keep asking?"_

_"Because one day I'm hoping you'll change your mind." He propped his head up on his elbow with a smile watching her. _

_"I won't." Irina looked at him pointedly, before looking away moving rapidly around the room finding her shoes and other clothing items. "Children complicate things." She'd been taking birth control pills just for that reason after her release from Kashmir having to deal with Cuvee. His curses of 'fertile bitch' and subsequent pregnancies while in prison flashing through her mind and she wouldn't allow that to ever happen again… get pregnant by a man she didn't love. She'd lost every one of her babies in one way or another… she couldn't go through that again._

Jack understood now, why Irina had placed his hand on her belly and their babies beneath.

_Dubey smirked at her swaying his head feeling as though one day, he would convince her. _

_"At least stay the night with me?" He waggled his eyebrows twirling her thong around on his finger taunting her from across the room. Seeing the look she was giving him, he dropped her panties and gave her his best puppy dog look. "Please… just one morning I'd like to wake up to your beautiful face."_

_"Again, you ask something we've been over time and again." Irina shook her head and walked towards him slowly. "I'm not looking for a relationship and if this is not enough for you, then I'm sorry." Her face softened slightly, "It is, what it is and I can't give you more. If you aren't happy with the rules or the way things are, then this ends now." She grabbed her panties and turned away only to be spun back when Dubey grabbed her arm, spinning her around and pulling her down onto him. _

_"I'll take whatever you can give." He looked into her eyes, speaking softly and desperate not to lose her, he grabbed her head, bringing it down and crashing into his lips with a hungry kiss, the fire burning once more. _

_Irina returned the kiss, gasping when his hand palmed her breast and thumb flick over her already rigid peak. _

_Seconds later she sat back as he sat up and tore her shirt off over her head while he worked frantically to push her skirt up, bringing her hips crashing down onto his already raging hard member, taking Irina's breath away as he immediately filled her and she cried out softly._

The last image of them showed Dubey's hands raking up her sides and across her back before he laid her down and out of the frame.

The fade in showed him asleep in his bed while Irina finished dressing, the first light of dawn breaking the horizon through the large windows facing the ocean in his bedroom.

As she opened the door, Dubey awoke and sat upright in bed, staring at her sneaking out yet again. She turned and saw him shaking his head in disappointment before he gave her a small smile.

_"I'll call you this afternoon…I need some new weapons." Irina gave him a small smile closing the door behind her. _

_Dubey sat in the bed looking at the door, his smile widening shaking his head and then turning into a laugh as he flopped back down against the bed at the crazy woman he couldn't get enough of._

* * *

_Moscow, Russia - One Week Later_

Lena's narration picked up by following Irina in black leather once more, heavily armed climbing into the passenger side of a black Humvee, the first in a long procession of them it was revealed as the camera pulled back to watch the caravan drive off into the night and follow them through the city towards their destination.

_"Sergei 'Mikhas' Mikhailov had been acquitted of money laundering charges in Switzerland and as I expected, he had returned to Russia three months prior. He believed, in his arrogance, that I had refused to help the Swiss because I was weak and intimidated by him and his organization, afraid of what retribution would be taken if I had Russia help them put him away."_

_The convoy of armored black Humvee's stopped, surrounding a large warehouse, his headquarters and everyone jumped out, armed to the hilt with two sub-machine guns a piece led by Irina as they formed a 'V' like a flock of ravens, the subject of folklore and bad omens, all dressed in black. _

_"His victory in the courts left him feeling invincible and untouchable, that no man could stop him… this was his downfall. I had lay low for the last couple of months, letting him move his headquarters back into Moscow in his over-confident state, letting him believe he had beaten me all the while waiting for my opportunity to strike. The time was now…" _

_Irina nodded and the two men beside her squeezed the triggers of the RPG-7 grenade launchers on their shoulders pointed towards the massive doors. _

In slow motion the camera followed a specially made grenade as it shot through the air toward the target in silence and with a 'ting' the explosive massive blast of fire and debris flashed into real time.

**_*Misirlou*_**

Amongst the flames Irina emerged and began spraying machine gun fire from two guns, leading her men in riddling the lower level of the open warehouse and all the people in it with bullets in a gruesome fiery take-over.

Amazing slow motion and real-time shots covered the take-over through the flames as their men and hers went down from the hailstorm of bullets flying through the air.

Irina looked untouchable and fierce as hell with the face of 'The Man,' clearly on a mission and letting nothing and no one stand in her way; no fear as she raised both arms and blasted one man after another, up high from the loft and down low from behind crates and barrels of Cocaine stalking through the inferno as the warehouse began burning from the grenade blast.

_Her men cut off all exits, leaving Mikhas and all of his officers meeting over the new distribution arrival of their drugs, with no way out as hundreds of millions of dollars worth of their drug burned around them. _

"And that's, _'The Man_." Weiss smiled over at Sophia seeing the amazing and terrifying full display of Irina who'd fully come into her own now as '_The Man'_.

Sophia now had an eye-opening glimpse into the side of her aunt they had been talking about last Christmas. This version of Irina scared the hell out of her but also made her proud… a woman taking over in the arrogant man's world.

"So, she really _was_ the Godfather…" Sophia whispered with wide-eyes starring at her fiancé.

"Well… yeah," He answered hesitantly with a sway in this tone, "Without that whole 'horses head in the bed' thing."

_'Though she did pack the body of the head of K-Directorate in a load of frozen cod fish and had it sent back to their headquarters, so…_' He wouldn't tell Sophia that.

_Mikhas was in the loft with the rest of his officers when they'd first heard and felt the blast of the grenade. All of them hit the floor and took cover and as they jumped up, heard the spray of machine gun fire and saw the woman in black and her league of men come through the flames and invade their space. _

_The doors were bulletproof and so, she had simply taken out the entire wall with the aid of some specially designed grenades she'd gotten from Dubey. _

_With Julian just to the right of her, they simultaneously threw grenades into each of the corners of the loft where the men were firing down at them, exploding the support staff and bringing the entire floor down in a slant. _

_Mikhas and his officers began sliding down towards them as if on a ramp and depositing them all at their feet. She mowed them all down in a bloody heap, leaving only one man alive cowering against the ruble sprayed with blood. _

**_*The Roof Is On Fire*_**

_The man was lowest ranking officer of Mikhas's men, the easiest to 'convince' he should aid her in making the transition run smoothly and not arrogant or gutsy enough to try and take over Mikhas organization from her. _

_Nodding towards her men they grabbed their injured and dead and the one man they'd left alive and hauled him out of the burning building behind her. She'd let the warehouse burn to the ground taking the_ _bullet riddled corpses and drugs with it. Mikhas had made the grave mistake of underestimating her in doing so, lost his life and empire. _

The last image of the scene showed Irina walking towards the camera away from the warehouse exploding behind her in slow motion in perfect time with the lyrics of the music.

Lena's voice clarified what this meant, "_And with the takeover of the Solsnatskaya Organization, the last remaining family branch, I had become the head of the World's Largest Organized Crime Syndicate, now five times as large when combined with my own organization. Ten years later, and all of the Russian mafia, was now under my control."_

The Petersons and Mikhail and Bella could only stare unblinking with mouths slightly open in shock. Ryan and Ann kept having flashes between Irina as their beloved professor, the mother, the friend and elegant Tsar and the woman onscreen who resembled the Terminator having just taken over the World's Largest Mafia Organization in a spectacular showdown. They just couldn't fathom it all.

Mikhail couldn't believe the woman onscreen was the same young girl he'd known and never in a million years would he have imagined her taking over the Russian mafia. To see what she'd become and what happened after Kashmir in her life over their twenty years apart was absolutely unbelievable and astounding the more he learned about it. Her telling him was one thing but 'seeing' it was altogether different.

Bella, who was not a spy or related to Irina before they became in-laws or had known her before hand, was at a complete loss for words learning about the incredible woman and events that led them where they were today.

* * *

_Cairo, Egypt - August 1998_

The scene faded out though the song continued and picked up with Irina in Egypt meeting with her associates there. Julian as well as Khasinau were both in attendance and a montage of rapid shots showed the various men and Irina around the table discussing the take-over and more then a few were getting upset that she'd burned millions of dollars of cocaine.

One of the most upset was the large man to Irina's right who suddenly whipped out a gun and pointed it directly against her head screaming at her and using her as his body shield as everyone else jumped up, training their guns on him. He forced her to stand while a very intense screaming match ensued. He flicked his other wrist while pressing the gun to her head even harder, and a knife appeared.

_"I'm going to cut your fucking head off! You fucking bitch!" He screamed into her ear and pressed the blade against her neck drawing blood while the gun remained at her temple. And he meant what he said, within seconds he was pulling the blade across the base of Irina's throat and a single shot was fired from the man at the other end of the table; completely severing the disloyal man's trigger finger and making him drop the gun and the knife stepping back in surprise and mowed down by every other man at the table within a second as they emptied their clips into him. _

_Irina had dropped to her knees the moment he stepped back from holding her up, clutching her now gushing throat trying to stem the bleeding as Khasinau, Julian and two of her other associates flew to her side before whisking her off to the hospital. _

Her family sat with wide, unblinking eyes at witnessing Irina's throat being slit, blood spraying out from under her fingers in a horrific fashion. The scar at the base of her neck had faded mostly with time but as with the other visible scars on her body, no one dared ask Irina how she got them, as they all feared the answer. Answers like this one, of hearing her throat had been slit.

The last image was of the body of man who'd tried to decapitate her, burning in the streets in Cairo with the words _'Burn Mother-fucker Burn_' playing over the scene. Her loyal associates had taken care of it and sent a message to the other's who'd argued with her that day.

"_Just a week later, I had rushed back to Moscow. The Russian ruble collapsed and a severe economic fallout was threatening my country." _Lena's voice played over the image of Irina arriving at the Kremlin via limousine._ "The only way I knew to save it was to call on those whom I knew could help. It was risky to do, as those who could help were former officials of the Communist government."_

_She sat down at the end of a long table, surrounded by Russian officials including the former Soviet officials, Yuri Maslyukov whom she appointed First Deputy Prime Minister and Viktor Gerashchenko as the head of the Central Bank of Russia. _

_A long line of thick black and blue sutures were seen around the base of her neck from the incident in Cairo; which everyone at the table clearly looked at curiously though none braved asking her._

_"I knew that the Russian people would not be happy about the coalition government I established to restore political and economic stability, but it was what needed to be done. Within six months, Russia was out of danger once more."_

The audience was once again shaking their heads in awe to learn more about Irina's role in the Russian government and how she managed to save it time and again from collapsing and corruption.


	19. Chapter 19

_**AN: Music of this chapter (on repeat): Sing For the Moment **_**by Eminem, _Rose_ by Hans Zimmer from _Titanic Soundtrack, Training Montage _by Harry Gregson-Williams_, Matrix Reloaded Theme by Enigma, Ready Steady Go _by Paul Oakenfold_, Baby I Love Your Way _by Big Mountain_, Showdown _by Britney Spears_, In Dreams _by Chris Tilton & Michael Giacchino_ from the ALIAS Soundtrack, My Trip To Russia and Bristow _by Chris Tilton_ and _Michael Giacchino_ from ALIAS Soundtrack, Red Warrior _by Hans Zimmer from_ The Last Samurai, Page 47, Oh My God, and Home Movies _by Michael Giacchino_ from ALIAS Soundtrack._**

* * *

NINETEEN

o

**_*Sing For The Moment*_**

Los Angeles – 1999

Sydney's left arm was in a cast, broken by a bodyguard while on a mission in Corsica, her long hair had been in a ponytail just as Irina's had, tears streaking across her face and clearly running with anger just as her mother had; the fact confirmed when images of Jack yelling at her in a fight they'd just had, flashed through her own mind followed by the times in her life that he'd let her down in the past… or when she apparently let him down.

_The fight had been the result of her broken arm, the first time she'd ever really been physically hurt while on a mission and it scared Jack to death. She had lied and told him it was a rollerblading accident though he knew the truth and lectured her about being careless, which was ridiculous over 'rollerblading.'_

A montage of her own brutal workout followed with the same ferocity in her punches and kicks that her mother held as she fought out her anger; fighting back the tears that she had been such a disappointment in her father's eyes all her life.

The remix song of '_Dream On'_ playing over this scene tying it together with Irina's showing once again how alike they were and similar their lives had been.

Jack sat with wide, sad eyes feeling everyone of her kicks and punches just as he had with Irina, and now Sydney, as they'd both work themselves to exhaustion with tears in their eyes over the pain and anger _he'd_ caused them in one way or another.

When Sydney's forceful punch hit the bag the retreating arm belonged to Jack; hitting the bag in the gym with the same pain and rage the two before him held. His fight with Sydney flashing through his mind; angry at himself for yelling at her for getting hurt when he knew it wasn't her fault, especially since she believed he was this angry for falling from 'rollerblading' as he couldn't reveal he knew what she did and angry for being such a failure to her and channeling that self anger and rage into his hate for Irina.

_Flashes of her smiling and laughing and memories of their life together, all the ways she 'fooled him,' began surging forth through his own mind mixed with his interrogation after her death, and images and information he had found out from her file about 'Irina Derevko.' _

_The words looping through his own mind of 'It was all a lie,' driving him on as he blamed Irina for destroying his life._

Irina watched with tears in her eyes feeling every one of his punches in her heart just as Jack had watching the misery both her daughter and husband had shared in.

All of them miserable one way or another over wrong beliefs; she believing Jack really hated her, Jack believing it was all a lie, and Sydney believing her father didn't love her.

* * *

**_*Rose*_**

_Northern India - 1999_

_Irina entered the house and heard the sounds of the music from the living room blaring over the surround-sound. She greeted her kitchen staff, who were busy cleaning up dinner and went in search of Julian. _

_When she walked down the short hallway her eyes fell upon the darkened room and saw Julian curled up on the sofa with Ash leaning back against his chest watching 'Titanic' on the big screen. _

_Julian's hand was casually twisting the end of Ash's long hair, his cheek melded softly against her head as Ash played with the fingers of his hand, mimicking the scene of the lovers on the screen. _

_Irina had never seen the film and had no intention of doing so as it was a love story, something she avoided at all costs. They looked so comfortable and cute she didn't want to disturb them but at the same time her heart sank, thinking about the conversation she was going to have to have with Julian, one she had been putting off. _

_Her mind flashed back to a moment years ago, when she and Jack had first begun dating, snuggled on the couch watching a film in the exact same position. _

_The moment was broken when the actor onscreen called out 'Jack' and her heart skipped a beat, looking up to find the man called Mr. Andrew's looking impossibly too much like her own Jack._

_'Not my Jack,' she admonished herself and shook her head, forcing herself to move on._

_Safe from the images inside the confines of her office, she immediately poured a glass of vodka and sat heavily in her chair, staring out the window lost in thought. Images and words of her life with Jack seeped from their compartment and for just a moment, she allowed herself to think about the happier times… laying down the mask of 'hate' for the man, and remembering the 'love' they once shared. She had no idea how long she sat there, staring off into space when one of the servants entered with a tray of food and a smile. _

_The calendar date was clearly visible behind the tray to the audience, 'February 14th,' and everyone knew exactly the significance of that date and the additional reasons behind Irina's emotional reaction. She immediately thanked them and watched as they left, her ears once again tuning back into the dialogue coming from the film in the next room and her heart clenched painfully, tears springing to her eyes. _

_"I'll never let go, Jack… I'll never let go." The woman's voice cried out and Irina couldn't stop her own tears at the irony. 'This was why she avoided sappy love-driven romantic movies.' She quickly wiped at her tears and looking down briefly at the Chicken Tikka Masala before her and deciding she was not hungry, went to her room, changed and went out running into the night. Her feet pounding against the dirt; tear streaks illuminated by the moonlight as she ran. _

_When she was exhausted she returned to the now dark house and showered, sitting out on the back deck with a full bottle of vodka in hand, intent on drinking away the remains of the day trying to numb the pain. _

The night faded away into morning and the camera picked up with Irina lying on top of her bed, with legs half-off the mattress having apparently just flopped face first into it, empty bottle of vodka still clutched in her hand and another empty one lying beside her.

_She scrubbed her hand over her face as the early morning light crept through the open window and pulled herself upright. She let go of the bottle with a look of disdain and shook her head, upset with herself that she always allowed herself to get so upset and 'go there.' Her anger at Jack quickly returning with the light of a new day and brows narrowed as she pulled on clothes to workout in, heading outside to work out her aggression and anger, at herself and her target, Jack. _

Jack was in anguished surprise over the obvious despair Irina had been in all those years. His mind flashed back to the night in Jakarta when she had told him, _'You don't know how hard it was to be alone without you, wanting you like I did..._' He hadn't really believed her in that moment, he was so caught up in his own pain and anger, but here was the physical proof of her pain right in front of him.

**_*Training Montage*_**

_Irina started by running along the dirt paths through the fields surrounding her plantation and nodded in acknowledgement to all of her field workers as she sprinted by them. _

The camera first opening with a wide bird's eye view shot of the large expanse of the property and then closing in on Irina as she ran, her face showing the emotions she was containing inside as she ran harder and harder.

_With her blood humming nicely through her body she made way for the open field and rounded up her guards, eager to fight with someone. One at a time she battled them in hand-to-hand combat in a mixture of various martial arts for more then an hour. _

_Julian had said goodbye to Ash and had seen the note Irina had left for him that they needed to talk. Quickly he slipped into his appropriate clothing and joined them outside. _

_Irina had just landed a spinning round-house kick to the side of one guards face flinging him violently towards the ground. Slowly he gathered himself out of the dirt as she beckoned for a bottle of water and one was thrown to her. She eyed Julian's approach and nodded at him, indicating he was up next. She threw the bottle back after a long sip and picked up the two staff bows resting against the tree instead, tossing one at Julian switching to Kendo, changing up her fighting style. She waved her hand and dismissed everyone else, and Julian swallowed hard, knowing this was going to be a personal discussion if she were clearing everyone out. _

_Quickly, he took stance preparing himself for the attack. She stomped forth with her left foot then right in rapid succession, twirling the bo around her head and bringing it slashing across to the side where he blocked it with his own bo, the sound cracking loudly as the fight began. _

_For a moment, he only played defense, deflecting her attack before going on the offensive. He swung the bo intending to sweep her legs as he advanced, backing her up against the tree but Irina had anticipated the move and planted her own bo, jumping up the tree a few feet and flipping over him backwards, rolling and turning at the same time to attack him from behind. _

_The move impressed and frustrated Julian who was used to such things from Irina and he gave her a pissed off smirk in return when she smiled dangerously. _

_"Your note suggested that you wanted to speak with me?" He asked, spinning around and sweating as he narrowly avoided taking a whack to the side of his head. _

_"I do." Irina huffed, deflecting his own' headshot, blowing a strand of stray hair out of her face. _

_"About?" He asked, growing more nervous by the second with her silence, knowing her well enough to know that she was contemplating what she would say in this upcoming conversation, something she only did when she didn't particularly want to discuss a subject. _

_"Ash." Irina answered making contact for the first time with his body, hitting him across the back of his thigh when her answer obviously caught him off-guard. "More over, your relationship with her." _

_Julian was too stunned to say anything, worried his brows knit together and his anger rising that she had caught him off-guard. _

_"You've been in my organization long enough now…" She battled back against his advance, "To know that relationships are dangerous… especially so, for those not in our line of work." _

_"What are you suggesting?" Sark's breathing was rapid and sweat began rolling off him with the heat and exertion. _

_"You know what I am suggesting." Irina cocked an eyebrow at him with annoyance. "Ash is not of our world… and your relationship with her," She cracked him hard across the back spinning past him, "Puts her life in danger...I've let it go on for far too long." She knew she had struck a nerve with him when his piercing blue eyes turned on her like he was going to devour her, his energy surging forth in his attacks and his blows landing harder and harder against her bow, the cracks growing louder. "I told you, when you joined my organization… that personal sacrifices would have to be made."_

_"You are suggesting I break up with Ash?" Julian pounded in anger against her bow, his hands gripping so tightly on the wooden staff they were beginning to bleed through his clenched fingers. _

_"I'm not suggesting anything," Irina flashed back, "I'm telling you." Her bo sliced through the air, landing on the ground and she pole-vaulted herself off it, kicking him square in the chest and knocking him backwards to the ground. _

_"And if I refuse?" Julian challenged, breathing heavily as he stumbled back up. _

_"You will be out of the organization and I will see to it, that you never work for anyone else inside this life again." Irina's eyes were practically closed into slits as she attacked once more. "You have the choice, stay and let her go… or leave this life. I will not allow you to keep seeing her with the growing list of enemies that could threaten her life as a means to get at you." _

_"I can protect her from any threat." He argued back, not liking his options at all. _

**_*Matrix Reloaded Theme*_**

_"You're being foolish and selfish!" Irina struck at him once more, hitting him across the left bicep just as he hit her across the right. "You cannot ensure her safety from every threat! To even attempt to do so would mean destroying the life she is leading and building towards. Are you that selfish for your own happiness, to take away her chance at a real life without the threat… of losing that life on a daily basis? Always looking over her shoulder." She swung the bow down behind his shoulder and caught him behind the ankles, knocking his legs out from under him and landing on top his chest, straddling him with the staff pressing down almost across his neck, holding him there, anger in her eyes. "Think about the repercussions. Are you willing to take that risk? The risk that she is killed in your name because you were too selfish to give up what you wanted?" _

_Irina was speaking from her own painful experience with her mother, he knew. His eyes began to burn with unshed tears, breathing heavily beneath her and forced them back. _

_"If you really love her...let her go." Irina saw the emotion, saw that she had gotten through and knew he needed some time alone. _

_Without saying anything, she pressed off the bo on his chest, flipping over his head forwards and into a standing position, leaving him lying there on the ground under the tree. She grabbed her water bottle and towel and made way for the house, closing her eyes and sighing momentarily, blinking back her own emotions. _

_Indian Ocean - Two Months Later_

The song continued as the camera view changed to a wide aerial shot of a massive ship in the middle of the ocean and then quickly dove down at rapid speed past the ship and straight into the water, into the depths of the giant blue before pulling upside Irina, Julian and two other divers who were about to enter an enormous underground cave.

_Irina's hair was twisting wildly around her face as she swam through the water to the surface towards the light. They broke the surface at the same time, spitting out their regulators and pushing their goggles up on their heads to look around at the huge rocky space with wonder. _

_"This is incredible…" Julian smiled in awe while Irina immediately started making her way over to a flat rock edge and climbing out. She whipped her hair around and unzipped her wetsuit, exposing her chest a little before removing her tank looking around. "How in the world could Rambaldi hide an artifact this deep below the surface of the ocean… hundreds of years ago…without the aide of oxygen is beyond me." Julian shook his head wiping the water from his face and moving to stand by Irina. _

_"According to the manual, the Golden Moon should be…" Irina looked around and then up, "Up there." She pointed to a shiny object about three hundred feet up at the top of the cave. "Gun." She commanded, holding out her hand and Julian reached into his pack, removing a gun and a long length of black rope. She took the gun and aimed for a spot just next to the flashing bit of gold on the ceiling and fired, sending the claw and rope straight up. She handed the gun back to Julian and tugged hard on the line, making sure it held._

_Irina bent over and removed her diving knife from the strap around her ankle. She smiled and placed the blade sideways in her mouth, holding it with her teeth and grabbed onto the rope, quickly ascending to the top. _

_When she reached the ceiling, she looped her leg around the rope to hold her body still and keep her from sliding down. Carefully, using her knife to pry the key of gold in the shape of the moon out of the rock in which it had been wedged for hundreds of years. With one last jab, it came free. She smiled, holding it in her palm and then stuffed it down the front of her wetsuit. The knife, she managed to slip back into the sheath on her ankle before looking down. _

_Just to the right of her, was the stone outcrop Julian and the other two divers were standing on and to the left, the deep water of the cave's entrance. _

_"Irina… what are you doing?" Julian asked in a quizzical worried tone seeing she was up to something watching her shimmy around on the rope incredibly high up. _

"Oh no…" Jack sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face knowing exactly what she was about to do and Irina laughed softly beside him. "I swear I don't know how you survived the last twenty years." He shook his head at her before breaking into a small smile and caressing the back of her hand with his thumb, nervous with what he was about to see.

Irina started pumping her legs and the rope began to swing back and forth and when she was far enough out over the water, she did a back flip off the rope, flying through the air and dove into the water like a bullet, hardly making a splash as she pierced the surface. They watched as she darted back to the surface in front of them and jumped out of the water with a smile.

_"Much easier then climbing back down." She shrugged with a smile_ _and bent over to retrieve her tank and gear. Julian shook his head laughing while he put the gun back in the bag. "Let's go!" She smiled happily and waded back into the water, replacing her regulator and goggles and going beneath the surface once more._

**_*Ready Steady Go*_**

The film showed Irina swimming up towards the massive dark underside of the ship and when she broke the surface it had transitioned to twenty-three year old Sydney, knife held in her teeth. She shot her gun and launched an anchor over the side, grabbed onto the rope and began to climb up towards the deck.

Mimicking the movements of her mother just moments before showing the audience just how alike the two were and how parallel their lives ran in their years of separation.

_When she reached the edge, she scanned the deck for anyone before climbing aboard. The sound of voices in the distance caught her attention and she took cover behind a pile of anchor rope, wielding her knife, ready to protect herself if necessary. _

_They went by her without incident and she moved towards her first target, flipping open the electrical box and finding the wires she wanted, began carefully stripping them with her knife. With that task completed, she reached into the front of her wetsuit and retrieved a small rerouting device._

_"Rerouting the surveillance now." Sydney whispered into her Com as she began to attach the device to the opened wires. _

_"Roger that, Blue Bird." Dixon answered back, looking at the computer screen in front of him from the deck of another boat approximately a mile away. The surveillance footage Sydney hacked into began playing on his screen. "Copying the footage now, stand by." _

_Sydney closed the panel box and slid down the wall, waiting and strapping her knife onto her ankle before pulling the gun out of the belt around her waist. _

_"Ok Blue Bird, you're free and clear to move about. The footage is looping now." He pressed the Enter key and a continuous loop of non-activity aboard the ship began broadcasting in the ships surveillance room. A guard scanned the monitors, seeing nothing as he continued to eat his Top Ramen out of a cup. _

_Sydney moved quickly down the side of the ship and slipped inside a door, making her way through a series of hallways, ducking behind doors for cover when need be. She made her way to the staircase and into the ship's storage hull, scanning large crates for a serial number she was trying to locate. _

_"Found it!" She confirmed once again retrieving her knife, setting her gun to the side and began prying the lid off the crate. _

_"You've got incoming company headed your way Blue Bird." Dixon saw two men approaching the storage area on the monitor. _

_Sydney worked rapidly, wiggling the knife at the last stubborn hold out on the crate she was working on. The lid popped open and she slid it off to the side, digging through the straw fibers and locating a small cylinder made of steel and glass. "Got it!" She breathed out rapidly, pulse pounding. _

_The door to the hull opened seconds later and she dove behind a large crate for cover. The men hadn't seen her and she looked over to where her gun still lay on the lid of the crate. She slid the cylinder down the front of her wetsuit and then quietly, she ducked down and crawled over, reaching up and retrieving her gun. _

_The men were talking as they walked up and down the rows of crates and Sydney snuck along the back of the boxes, making her way back towards the door. About twenty feet from the exit one of the men saw the opened container and whipped out his gun, shouting in Chinese to the other man who immediately withdrew his own side arm on the hunt for the intruder. _

_Sydney slid with her back against the steel wall towards her way out quietly but hit her arm on metal hook, the sound alerting the men to her location and they began firing at her. _

_Quickly she dove for the exit, returning fire as she scrambled to her feet and ran up the steps. _

_The sound of gunfire alerting other crew members to her presence and they came charging towards her as she hit the top of the stairs. She caught the man's arm about to fire on her and twisted it around, causing him to shoot the man behind him before she flipped him over and continued to run down the hallway. _

_Bullets zinging by her head and taking people out with flying kicks, punches and gunfire. Squeezing rapidly on the trigger firing behind her at her pursuers she ran out of ammunition and made a mad dash for the railing, looking behind her once quickly before launching with one foot up and over, diving head first over the edge and darting into the sea under a hail of gunfire. They continued to shoot at the water where she entered and Sydney swam on as bullets tore through the water around her._

_Dixon floored the speedboat and watched his GPS device driving towards the flashing red locator dot on his screen, sweeping the boat to the side he ran to the edge and held his arm out to Sydney. "Nice dive." He smiled having watched through his binoculars and she grabbed hold of his hand. He pulled her up with a smile before tearing away from the large ship with the device Sloane wanted._

Danny's murder was absolutely heartbreaking and had everyone in tears, especially Sydney who held tightly to both Vaughn and her mother's hands.

They watched as Sydney was shot at by Sloane's men and laughed at Sydney's reaction to Jack saving her and his response in spite of the seriousness of the situation.

_"Daddy? Daddy you have a gun!"_

_"I don't sell airplane parts! I've never sold airplane parts!"_

His telling her the truth about SD-6 was not so funny or her decision to go back to work.

They cringed when Cuvee's torture doctor had his fun and laughed when Syd told him to '_Bite-Me_,' and then asked him to start with the teeth in the back, mocking his torture. Her escape with the chair reminded them a great deal of Irina's escape in Ireland using the chair as her own weapon.

The reveal of Irina watching the security footage and recognizing Sydney for the first time was fascinating; especially to Julian who hadn't known that was when Irina first realized it was Sydney. She had kept that knowledge to herself in order to protect her daughter.

Sydney turning herself into the CIA, meeting Vaughn and Weiss for the first time and seeing their first interactions brought smiles to Irina, Bella and Mikhail's faces enjoying the visual they'd heard about the first 'meeting' of the crazy red haired Sydney.

Sydney standing by Danny's grave and Jack trying to offer comfort, saying he knew what it was like to loose someone you love was heartbreaking especially when Sydney refused and then learned he was a CIA Double as well.

So much they hadn't known about each other then.

Irina had to smile at Sydney in the blue rubber dress in Moscow on the mission to retrieve the stolen KGB files, inspite of the fact she was actually stealing Russian property. Her thoughts flashed back to Sydney's admission last Christmas revealing she hadn't really been to Russia except on missions. This was clearly one of them.

Just watching what Sydney went through, stealing for SD-6, making copies with the CIA in seconds and trying to keep it all a secret was impressive and tiring for them just to watch. Dixon shook his head in amazement that all this was going on and he had no idea.

Cuvee was still running K-Directorate and working with Irina's organization, in secret, to locate Rambaldi artifacts, joining forces once the worldwide hunt began.

_"You're going to be meeting with the SD-6 agent in Berlin and the both of you will open the case." Cuvee informed Anna with a smile when she sat down at the table in his office in St. Petersburg. _

_Irina, Julian and Khasinau were also sitting around the table having made the arrangements with SD-6. _

_"And how do I know she won't try anything once the case is opened?" Anna looked at them with a quizzical smile. "I once thought the little shit was out of her league, but Sydney is starting to impress me." _

_"I guess she takes after her mother after all." Cuvee turned his head to smile at Irina with a nod. _

_Irina remained absolutely still with no reaction as all eyes turned to her, Anna's eyes went wide with surprise at the implication Cuvee was making._

_"You… are Sydney Bristow's mother?" Anna asked Irina in disbelief. _

_"I gave birth to her, yes. Beyond that, I'm not her mother." Irina answered completely calm as both Khasinau and Cuvee shared a proud smile at their 'job well-done' with re-educating Irina._

_"Well, this certainly is intriguing." Anna smiled a devious grin. "Why do I get the impression she has no idea you are her mother?"_

_"Because she hasn't. Sydney has no idea who I am and believes her mother, Laura Bristow, my former alias, died in a car accident. That is the way it will stay." Irina informed her with a stern tone that left little room for argument. _

_"And if she gets in my way again?" Anna asked with gaze shifting between Cuvee and Irina._

_"Eliminate her." Cuvee smiled and Anna's eyes flashed to Irina's for a reaction that wasn't there. Irina remained the face of indifference though her heart pounded rapidly in her chest._

_"You are ok with this?" Anna asked Irina, with disbelieving eyes. "Ok with me killing your own daughter?"_

_"Sydney Bristow means nothing to Irina." Cuvee answered for her with a smile, confident in his re-education, "She was the product of a KGB mission, nothing more." _

_Julian watched Irina's face knowing Sydney meant more than 'nothing' to the impassive looking woman at the end of the table._

_"Of course, nothing could have been further from the truth,"_ Lena's voice narrated Irina's thoughts as the scene faded away, _"Sydney meant everything to me and I only hoped that the agent I trained, didn't kill my daughter." _

Sydney finding the Cyrillic codes in Irina's books and Anna shooting Dixon and throwing Sydney down the hole in Argentina, followed.

**_*Baby I Love Your Way*_**

The scene opened with Irina walking down the beach in Jakarta, wearing only a little black bikini. A matching sarong hung low on her hips and matching black glasses finished off her absolutely gorgeous appearance.

Dubey immediately jumped up from his table with a smile when his men pointed her out and an enormous smile appeared on his face. He was wearing only a pair of shorts and looking extremely sexy himself when he went to meet her.

The first thing he did was grab her, crash their bodies together and give her a smoldering kiss exactly like the one they had witnessed last year.

_"Hello Gorgeous, where have you been?" Dubey asked even as his mouth continued to taste its way down her neck. _

_"Everywhere." She answered with a smile and he laughed against her skin, looking up to meet her eyes. "How have you been?" _

_"Hungry." He waggled his eyebrows at her even as his hands moved around her middle and dropped a wet kiss just above her breast. _

_"Oh course you are." She laughed and pushed against him. "I have some business I need to speak with you about." She ran her fingers over his hard pecks and flicked his nipple. _

_"Let me guess… you need some kind of specialized hardware?" Dubey smiled, with a cocky grin, grinding his hips into hers. _

_"Something like that… extended magazines, laser sights…" She gave him a coy smile. _

Jack and Sydney's minds immediately, flashed to the '_specialized hardware_' Cole used to break into SD-6. This trip to Jakarta was apparently when she placed her 'order.'

The choice of music over this particular scene was extremely unnerving to Jack. It was obviously meant to convey what Dubey was thinking about Irina, as the man was clearly in love with her. Jack could only 'thank God,' the feelings weren't mutual.

_"Well, I can definitely help you with the 'extended hardware," Dubey grabbed her ass and thrust her body into his own extending hardware._

_"I knew you could." Irina kissed him, biting his lip and earning an appreciative groan. _

_"But first… I demand you have dinner with me… I really am hungry…" He nibbled on her jaw, laughing softly. _

_"I don't do well with demands." Irina pushed against him, eyeing his chiseled body with her famous eyebrow that dared him to demand anything of her. _

_"My apologies… I request your presence at dinner?" He mock bowed to her hinting at her 'royal' status, "Is that better?"_

_"Ass." Irina pushed him hard and almost knocked him over as he was bowing, she started walking away, all part of the game of course. _

_"Umm yes, you have a good ass… especially from this view." Dubey smiled cocking his head to look at her retreating form, laughing when she whirled around. "Ahh!" He charged forward and swooped her up against his chest, holding her tightly and not letting her feet touch the ground as he walked them towards the club, "God, I've missed you!" He rushed out, kissing her furiously the entire way and not giving her a chance to protest any sentiments of the kind. _

**_*Showdown*_**

The scene faded in after dinner in Dubey's room. Irina was wearing the now infamous red dress that had caused such a backlash in Jakarta during their last trip there and Jack felt his palms beginning to sweat.

Vaughn, Sydney and Weiss were all feeling the added heat as well and Irina held her breath, eager to get this scene over with, as it was the last time she and Dubey were ever together. It was also quite wild and rough, very fun at the time, not so fun now. She could literally see Jack's chest rising and falling rapidly now, even with Lena on top of him and the pounding pulse in his neck meant he recognized the 'dress' as well.

"Last time…" Irina whispered in Jack's ear so that only he could hear, backing up slightly to catch his gaze. He nodded softly then leaned in to kiss her tenderly.

_Irina stood in the middle of the room, waiting for him to close the door behind them and watched as he walked towards her slowly, removing his shirt along the way. _

_"Have I told you how incredible you look in that dress?" Dubey circled her, eyeing her appreciatively. "I think it's my favorite…" He closed the distance and placed a hot kiss against her neck while his hands slowly worked their way around her sides and found the zipper. Tooth by tooth, he lowered the metal binding until it stopped just below her hip, exposing her tanned skin and the thin band of her red thong resting on her hip bone. _

_His fingers snaked their way beneath the fabric to touch her scorching skin and smiled when she gasped softly at the electric contact. He used the fingertips of the other hand to lightly push her straps off her shoulders and then removed his hands. _

_The dress hung loosely on her frame and he dropped to his knees in front of her, smiling up at her devilishly while his hands ran up the back of her calves and brushed against the back of her knees, sending a shiver through her. _

_When they reached the hem of her dress he slowly tugged it down, inch by inch as if revealing a cherished gift. His smile, spreading across his face when the dress fell all the way off and pooled at her feet where she stepped out of it lightly and he threw it aside. She stood before him in only her red heels, thong and strapless lace bra. _

"Sweet Jeezus." Weiss voiced aloud while Kendall echoed the sentiment but managed to keep it internal. All of the men now shifting uncomfortably in their seats again and Katya and Sophia both shared a smile and chuckle.

_Dubey put his hands on her hips and looked up at her, braving a move he'd never tried before and kissed the skin just below her belly button, an accumulation of all his wants and desires with her… love and a family._

_"No." Irina immediately stepped back with a warning tone. That kind of touch was entirely too intimate, too soft, too loving and outside their rules. "You're not playing by the rules." _

_Dubey stood up and walked towards her shaking his head but still wearing a smile, "I had to try." _

_She pushed him hard, back against the bed until he fell and she on top of him, straddling him on all fours with face just inches from his, dropped her face down and met his lips in a smoldering kiss, biting his lower lip and drawing blood when she pulled away, clearly indicating the way she wanted it. _

_"Though I love it when you're rough, too." He licked the blood from his lips laughing and flipped her over as they rolled for dominance in a new showdown. _

Jack and Irina, both, were extremely happy when the scene faded before it really got intense and she felt Jack squeeze her hand gently, Irina let go of the breath she'd been holding in relief. Last of those landmines, had been cleared. Of course, they would still talk about some of them, but at least it wouldn't be as bad now.

Vaughn informing Sydney that his father was one of the agents that 'Jack' killed was gut wrenching for both Irina and Mikhail, feeling guilty for the same and different reasons. That Jack was being accused of being the 'traitorous KGB agent' by their children, when it was they who had been the KGB agents… the parents, their children idolized.

**_*In Dreams*_**

_"I didn't think you'd believe me otherwise, those Cyrillic codes you found in those book, yes, they were orders from the KGB and yes, they were orders to kill… An agent received those orders and carried them out, murdered officers of the CIA including your father, Mr. Vaughn, all this is true but, Sydney, I was not that agent… your mother was." _

_Sydney's world comes crashing down violently and blood rushed through her ears, drowning out further sound and she felt as though she'd faint. _

Watching Sydney onscreen learning the truth about her status as a KGB officer, seeing her daughter's devastation brought a fresh round of tears to Irina's eyes. She and Sydney both turned to look at each other when Sydney onscreen walked away from Jack, believing 'she' was just part of her mother's plan. Both had tears in their eyes and reached for each other's hands, holding on tightly and squeezing.

The images of Sydney throwing the photo of she and her mother in the fire along with other photos she had once cherished broke everyone's hearts and when Sydney apologized to Vaughn for her mother killing his father, calling Irina a 'horrible person' Mikhail felt a sudden wash of guilt that Irina was being blamed for his 'death.'

The following sequence was of Cole's infiltration of SD-6 at the same time Irina sent Julian into FTL Headquarters. Cuvee also stepped down as the head of K-Directorate in favor of leading the People's Revolutionary Front. There was less 'heat' with the new group and they were able to accomplish more in the quest for Rambaldi if they had space.

It then jumped to Galway, Ireland with Irina in her massive castle compound giving Julian instructions on how to handle K-Directorate.

_"I want you to meet with Ivankov to discuss the sale of the manuscript Anna retrieved in Argentina. Offer the million and if he doesn't accept, give him thirty seconds, then kill him, offer Kesser the same."_

More tears came to Irina's eyes hearing Sydney wanting to quit school now that she knew who her mother really was. The laughter returned with Sydney and Dixon's mission in Las Vegas to listen into the meet where K-Directorate was meeting with 'The Man's' organization.

Sydney was on the phone with Will talking about Charlie cheating on Francie and when Will asked her, "_Who the hell lives a double life like this?_" And Sydney looked over at Dixon in dreadlocks and herself in disguise replying, "_There are people._" They all lost it laughing.

The tears of course returned when Jack took Sydney to the carousel and told her it was where he and her mother used to bring her when she was little; telling Sydney he thought she should stick with teaching, as she'd be the kind of teacher her students would always remember. The Peterson's agreed with that assessment if she was anything like her mother as a teacher.

The laughter again rang out at Sloane's frustration over Irina, when he told Jack, _"I'm tired of referring to him as 'The Man.' I want to know who he is."_

A wave of quiet 'awe' rang out when Sydney met Vaughn at the Observatory about the mission to Russia and told her, he wished he could spend time with her, look at her in public, too. Jack was once again, smiling with amazement at how obvious their connection was, and how he'd missed it yet Irina picked it up immediately.

* * *

**_*My Trip to Russia*_**

_Red Square, Moscow, Russia - 2001_

The next scene showed Sydney and Dixon's arrival in Russia to spy on the meeting between Julian and the leader of K-Directorate. Irina shook her head softly with a smile watching as her daughter shimmied upside down across a rope over to the window of the building.

They all laughed out loud with Dixon's line of, '_How's it hanging, Syd?_' Including Julian who onscreen was about to kill the leader of K-Directorate. Sydney and Dixon's narrow escape had them zooming away in a van with the gorgeous outline of the St. Basils lit up in the background.

It was heartbreaking to watch Sydney and Francie take their rings off together and then sit there and cry, looking at them. This was one of the times that Irina really wished she could have been there for her daughter.

When Sloane informed them in the next scene that 'The Man' had sent the former leader of K-Directorates body back to the headquarters in St. Petersburg, packed on ice with codfish and a message of, '_Give the 'The Man' the manual or expect more fish in St. Petersburg,_' Jack chuckled now shaking his head with a smile.

"That was pretty clever, I must say." He whispered to Irina.

"Thank you." Irina whispered back.

"So, she didn't leave heads of horses in people's beds, but she had them _sleeping with fishes_?" Sophia whispered to Weiss with wide surprised eyes that were also challenging him; it was very clear to her now, Irina _was definitely_ the _Godfather;_ they were all just trying to tone it down for her not to scare her and she wasn't scared now, more amused than anything now that she'd gotten to know her family.

Sydney and Vaughn argued about planting a device in Sloane's house while visiting Emily. Sydney's morals telling her it was wrong to use her dying friend.

They also laughed watching Sydney drive away with the boat in Tunisia leaving Julian standing on the dock bewildered, now that everyone knew how the two ended up as brother and sister.

_"What happened?" Irina demanded when Julian came through the door looking defeated and nervous. _

_"She took the boat and the manual with it." He answered, keeping his eyes on her looking for a reaction. _

_"Who took it?" Irina asked with a stern voice, upset. _

_"Sydney, I believe." Julian answered simply and watched her face soften though her eyebrow slanted. He'd never seen her daughter up close as of yet but he knew her work well. _

_"I was of mixed emotions over this news."_ Lena's voice once again came across as narration, _"Proud my daughter had once again managed to out maneuver us and pissed as all hell she took the manual." _

That remark once again left the audience in laughter over the mother-daughter battles in espionage.

The most awkward dinner conversation at the Sloane's with Will and Sloane and talk of monster bosses made them laugh in spite of the seriousness of the situation. Then again, with Sydney trading the blank page with the one up her leg held in her garter belt.

Vaughn showing Sydney the woman's picture they exposed on the blank page made everyone in the audience gasp, knowing now it was Irina in the photo but could see why they could also believe it was Sydney.

* * *

**_*Bristow*_**

Sydney's mission to Rio de Janeiro to take photos of 'The Man,' believed at the time to be Khasinau, left them all breathless again when she ran from the guards and then jumped from the jungle covered cliff, soaring over the gorgeous city in her escape.

_"We've had a breech…" Khasinau spoke with Irina over the phone in a foul mood, "I'm in the process of moving our base of operations as we speak." _

_"Who?" Irina asked twirling her knife in her hand, already having an idea. _

_"Sydney Bristow." He answered in a rough tone._

_"SD-6 again…" Irina sighed, rubbing her temples worried and shifting the attention from her daughter onto the agency in which she worked instead. "Sloane is really becoming a thorn in my side." She twirled the knife rapidly and then threw it violently across the room; the knife embedding into the wooden support beam and vibrating. "We've got to bring down SD-6 and the Alliance." _

_"I wanted them out of the way in my pursuit of Rambaldi."_ Lena once again explained Irina's thoughts, _"And I wanted them gone and my daughter out of this life… figuring out how to do that and not get her killed and me exposed trying to protect her, was proving dangerously tricky."_

* * *

**_*Red Warrior*_**

_Nara, Japan_

_"I needed to forge a plan that would allow me to infiltrate the CIA and SD-6 simultaneously to bring down the Alliance and obtain the Rambaldi artifacts they both possessed." _Lena continued over images of the gorgeous Japanese countryside with Mt. Fuji in the background. _"Unfortunately, the only way to get inside the CIA and obtain what I needed was to turn myself in… with so many unknown variables it was by far the most dangerous mission I'd ever planned to execute. Something of this magnitude required extensive planning and I needed to center myself in order to strategize. Remove as many variables as I could."_ Irina was seen sitting on her knees, meditating and obviously deep in thought. _"I also needed to prepare and condition myself to become a prisoner once more." _

The images switched to her training with a group of men, the Shintoist Warrior Monks who had mastered the arts of the Samurai and Ninjutsu, in the thick mists of the morning adding to the challenge.

_"The original purpose of the ninjutsu was to create scouts and deadly assassins who could enter any place undetected and strike when least expected. The very definition of a ninja was someone who hides their presence, a master of concealment. This was exactly what I was planning to do with the CIA, concealing my true purpose waiting for the opportunity to strike."_ She was a master of the art and used this time honing her skills. _"Because I was Russian, I was given the name, 'the Red Warrior,' from the monks I trained with... I found out later, it was also the name given to the warrior who sacrificed themselves for the sake of the others."_

An impressive montage rolled by of her training with the deadly sais, the staff, the sword and the shuko or 'tiger claws' that attached to the palms and allowed the ninja's to scale walls and trees effortlessly.

Each of these skills, focusing her concentration and forcing her to use all her senses with her body, once more, creating absolutely silent, still and deadly precision with every single move, measured and purposeful. It also helped her to severely compartmentalize all of her feelings about being in a prison cell again.

The aerial shots swirling around them from above in their perfectly formed lines of black stealth with deadly precision were breathtaking and energizing to the audience. Irina's dark hair was pulled back in severe knot at the back of her head like all the other 'warriors' with complete focus and concentration on her face. She had literally been trained by and with, the best in the world.

Conrad was also there, along side the Samurai Master observing everything Irina did and speaking to her of what was to come in the prophecy and her further role as _The Chosen One_ and that of her daughter.

The Samurai Master Sensei's last words to Irina left everyone breathless and immediately in tears.

_"When the time comes, Irina, you must give your life by Seppuku," Conrad placed the short ceremonial dagger in her hands, "So that your daughter may live." _

Irina onscreen looked only slightly surprised, then folded her hands in front of her face with the dagger between them and closed her eyes, bowing with Sensei and Conrad in acceptance.

_"For the Samurai, the Seppuku was to commit suicide by your own sword in an honorable death for a great purpose. As a warrior, it meant when the time came, I would commit suicide by stabbing myself through the heart."_ Lena's voice explained solemnly. _"I would sacrifice my life for my child without question or hesitance. My death now had purpose." _

The camera that had circled Sensei and Irina began to move rapidly around them in a tightening circle as their foreheads rested together with eyes closed and Sensei's hands over Irina's holding the dagger that was meant to bring her death. It then cut back to the images of Irina fighting with the other warriors. No one knew what Irina was planning, no one.

Julian was now staring down the aisle at Irina with a pounding heart and wide blurry eyes of horror that she was told she would have to commit suicide and he had no idea. She had never said a thing when she returned from Japan about what she had learned of The Prophecy.

Both Sydney and Jack's eyes flew to Irina with a mixture of horror, love, and confusion. Irina had been wanting to die all those years and she had finally been given a reason to do so.

Sydney's eyes were burning with unshed tears that finally spilled over when Irina turned to face her slightly, giving her a small reassuring teary smile and kissing Sydney's knuckles of the hand she held in her own. She knew they were both confused and could see the horror in her daughter's eyes.

Sydney could barely breath thinking that, 'she' in essence, her life anyway, had given her mother the final go-ahead to kill herself, something she'd wanted to do for a long time. In this case, by her own hand, in order to save her daughter's life.

"I'll explain later." Irina whispered to Sydney and kissed her daughter's forehead, closing her eyes and sighing as her own tears fell.

* * *

**_*Page 47*_**

The reveal of the picture of the woman on _Page 47_ from the Rambaldi Manual and Sydney's arrest left everyone in silence once more and Irina feeling especially guilty watching her daughter being shackled. Her guilt was matched by Kendall's knowing his part in it all.

_"What does it say?" Sydney asked innocently while she was being restrained, fear coursing through her bones. _

_"This woman here depicted will possess unseen marks. Signs that she will be the one to bring forth my works, bind them with fury, a burning anger, unless prevented at vulgar cost… this woman will render the greatest power unto utter desolation." The woman from the DSR read. _

This description of Irina, after just witnessing her training and Conrad's telling in Japan preparing for her mission, caused many hearts to speed up rapidly in the audience. They all assumed that this description of _The Chosen One_ was why Irina would commit suicide to prevent this prophecy from coming true and save Sydney from the utter desolation Irina would bring to the world.

It was slowly dawning on those who knew the full story, including Sydney and Jack, what it really meant. Sensei wasn't talking about Irina having to kill herself so that her daughter, Sydney, could survive; he was talking about her daughter with Sloane, The Prophecy Child. Though at the time, not even Irina was aware of what he was really referring to. The only way for The Prophecy Child to survive was if Irina died. Having that child, her daughter, would render the '_greatest power unto utter desolation'_ as described in The Prophecy.

Unfortunately, The Prophecy that would bring utter desolation was, prevented at 'vulgar cost' by Irina, who was forced to kill her own child, in order to save the world… the ultimate sacrifice.

"Ok, that sounds terrifying." Ann whispered to her husband and Kendall to her other side, "And that's The Prophecy describing Irina?" She asked confused, as that description was not at all warming of the woman she knew and loved.

"Yes, but all was not as it seemed, as you'll learn. As we all learned." Kendall whispered back, giving her a small, embarrassed smile.

Irina's heart went out to her daughter for having to go through all of that, when it was her they were after. She squeezed Sydney's hand giving her a soft sad smile as images of Sydney's medical exams and evaluations played onscreen.

Sydney and Vaughn breaking into the Vatican to obtain the Code Key for Rambaldi's document followed with wide-eyed audience members in constant disbelief at the complexity of these people's lives. Katya and Marcelo were especially intrigued with this revelation.

Breaking into the CIA seemed slightly less crazy and not quite within their grasp yet, having yet to see 'Irina' pull this off, but to see Sydney and Michael break into something like the Vatican, in their own city, left them shaking their heads with smiles… especially since it was a 'first date' of sorts for Michael and Sydney.

Kendall's harsh interrogation of Sydney upon their first meeting made him shake his head with disappointment at himself, especially when he used the part about her mother being a traitorous KGB spy against her.

Irina seethed in anger seeing Jack hold Haladki, her contact controlled by Khasinau inside the CIA, hostage for the answers to the transport connection. The evil little man had been working for her but she also learned from watching these reveals that Khasinau was running his own side agenda with the man in order to bring down Jack and Sydney.

First, by trying to expose Jack and Sydney as Double Agents, something Khasinau had learned from Haladki and never told Irina of, though she already knew and then by trying to have the United States government lock up her daughter for life. She wondered what kind of double-cross Khasinau had been planning just before she killed him. She would never know, nor did she care now… it was over.

Khasinau had instructed Haladki to do whatever was necessary to convince the DSR, FBI, and CIA that Sydney was _The Chosen One_ in The Prophecy to keep the heat off Irina. If they believed they had the right woman in custody they wouldn't look for Irina.

Watching Jack, Michael and Eric plan the ambush on the FBI transport, Irina knew from the story Sydney told at Christmas, what was coming next. The escape and realization that she was alive.

_"You're going to be ok." Vaughn worked to undo her handcuffs as they tore away in the van. _

_"What the hell are you doing?" Sydney demanded in anger and fear as the van violently pitched to the side with Jack's wild driving. _

_"Proving this Prophecy is not about you!" Vaughn answered her._

_"Sydney we'll explain everything when we get there." Jack announced masked from the front seat while speeding away. _

_"Dad?" _Sydney onscreen asked incredulously and everyone chuckled softly watching the now humorous scene and all out laughed with Jack's response of, _"Hey, Honey_," from behind his ski mask while he drove wildly away in a police pursuit.

**_*Oh My God*_**

They all held their breath as Sydney plummeted into the ocean with her car to get away from the FBI and did the same thing Irina had done to escape.

"Oh my God!" Will gasped, his eyes flashing from the screen down the aisle to Sydney realizing now that she was the insane driver he and Francie had watched on television that day in a police chase, something he hadn't known until this moment.

Irina felt the simultaneous squeezing of both her hands from Jack and Sydney when the next scene appeared of them in the car.

_"I knew what my mother had done in that situation…" Sydney looked sadly and hopefully at Jack across from her. _

_"Sydney-" Jack hesitated in disbelief. _

_"Mom's alive. I know it!" Sydney answered determinedly. _

The scene jumped to Sydney's climb of Mt. Sabasio and Katya smiled remembering this explanation and tale as well before it came back to Jack and Sydney talking in the car once more.

It showed the flashes of Jack breaking into the files room at Langley and locating the inquiry into Irina's death and Irina swallowed hard watching Jack's reaction to learning the CIA knew she was alive.

_"Given my state at the time, they thought it best I wasn't told." Jack answered Sydney solemnly. _

Everyone in the theatre clearly remembering Jack's reaction in the first film when he'd first come home, tore apart his living room and told Sloane he didn't care who she was, he loved her and would go after her if she were still alive.

_"They don't know what happened to her, where she went… She could still be in this country for all they know." Jack continued in disbelief that this was real. _

_"Dad, I'm going to find her." Sydney answered with resolve. "I have to."_

**_*Home Movies*_**

_"Searching for that woman will accomplish nothing! No good can come of it!" Jack answered angered and terrified._

Irina was already crying watching both of their reactions, Sydney's desire to find her and Jack terrified at the thought.

_"I need to know where she is-"_

_"Sydney, we don't even know if she's still alive!" _

_"I know-" Sydney tried to answer softly in shock having never seen her father act like this, so emotional and out of control. _

_"Even if she is, it doesn't change what she did!" Jack was clearly losing it. _

_"Dad, I know!" Sydney tried again. _

_"Do you expect her to say—I'm sorry?" He asked in almost a shout incredulously with venom. _

_"I don't know what I expect!" Sydney fired back, scared. _

_"Well you better know exactly, what to expect!" Jack panted, "What can she ever say that would satisfy you?" _

Everyone in the audience knew he wasn't talking about Sydney and Irina wiped at her tears seeing and hearing the 'lost it' reaction that Jack had, Sydney had described to her.

Jack's own heart sank watching Sydney go to the man she despised for help in searching for her mother, she was so desperate.

The statement of 'The Man controlling more assets than the Russian mafia' to them, before the mission to the Embassy in Vienna, made everyone roar with laughter knowing now, that Irina, 'The Man' _was_ the Russian Mafia.

The reunion of Sydney and Noah followed, moving right into their mission to Archangelsk where Khasinau stored information a mile underground. Sydney downloading the first information and video of Irina and her close call when her suit was punctured left them all holding their breath that only continued with her physical reunion with Noah, knowing now he was the assassin sent to kill Irina, all the while telling Sydney he'd help her look for her mother not knowing they were the same.

Amidst the chaos of the chase by Irina and Khasinau's men of Sydney and Noah through the rough terrain, Irina had to smile hearing that Sydney's call sign was 'White Rabbit,' from both their favorite children's book, _Alice in Wonderland_.


	20. Chapter 20

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Goodbyes **_**by The Cranberries**_**, In Dreams **_**by Michael Giacchino from ALIAS Soundtrack**_**, Mondo Bongo **_**by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros**_**, The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer from**_** True Romance Soundtrack, Inferno by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, Palladio **_**by Karl Jenkins & Adiemus from the Diamond Music Album**_**, Drifting by Sarah McLachlan, Sandstorm (radio edit) **_**by Darude**_**, Still In Love With You **_**by Jennifer Garner from the ALIAS Soundtrack.**

* * *

TWENTY

o

**_*Goodbyes *_**

_Sydney, Australia_

_Irina sat down on the warm sand as the sunset on the horizon in brilliant fashion, digging her toes in and closing her eyes as the breeze blew through her hair and old memories blazed across her mind._

_"Jack knew I was alive now." _Lena's voice narrated softly over the image and song_, "The FBI and CIA were looking for me in a massive manhunt as 'The Chosen One' in Rambaldi's Prophecy, now that Sydney had been cleared. I had come to my home in Sydney to put distance between myself and Khasinau as they believed me to be working for him as well as hide from an assassin K-Directorate had after 'The Man.' None of that mattered in my mind though, only that Jack had finally learned I was still alive. All I could think of was those last few months we had spent together, time that seemed like a lifetime and only yesterday ago."_

Images of that happy time began to flash before her eyes with the sounds of laughter and 'I love you.'

_"Our last trip to Mexico where our baby boy was conceived in complete love , a son, Jack never even knew existed."_ She batted at her falling tears as images from that romantic weekend flashed before her eyes and that of the audience, who were now crying with her over that reveal.

Jack reached over and kissed Irina with tears in his eyes, threading his fingers with hers over her belly. He kissed the tears on her cheeks away and placed one last chaste kiss on her lips before they turned their attention back to the screen.

"_Our weekends at the beach as a family,"_ The flashbacks continued as Irina remembered.

_"Taking Sydney to school on her first day of First Grade together, lazy mornings around the house when we'd all just snuggle in bed together… listening to Sydney tell us stories and making us laugh."_ The last brought a sad smile and more tears as she heard their laughter mixed with her daughter's childish giggles.

_Irina flopped back onto the sand, laying her forearm over her eyes as silent tears slipped from her eyes into her hairline. The fingers of her other hand tracing her lips where she could still taste and feel their last kiss on the porch the morning she last saw him. Everything immediately after that moment was a blur for her._

_"Now that Jack knew I was still alive, I could almost feel his hate burn with a fiery intensity straight through me. It was no longer hate for the dead woman who had lied to him and broke his heart, but for the living breathing reality of betrayal. I knew we were destined to run into each other again now, but terrified when the moment came and I'd look into his eyes and see sheer hate instead of the absolute love I only saw before when he looked at me."_

_Irina bit down on her lip, drawing blood and forcing her tears to subside._

_"The only way I was going to be able to handle that was to meet his gaze with hate of my own. I had to channel my feelings and remember all the reasons why I hated and despised him and how my love for him, hurt me…remember all that I went through for him… all that I lost to him, for him, because of him. Destroy him before he could destroy me. Take control and not let him affect me."_

She stood up rapidly and began to run down the beach obvious to everyone she was trying to out run her feelings.

_"I rebuilt and fortified the walls around my feelings once more, vowing not to let anything or anyone break through them again, not even and especially… me. I would not let this weakness out again." The tears in her eyes turned to anger as she ran at a furious pace into dark._

Jack glanced at Irina out of the corner of his eye remembering the day in the cell when he first saw her again. The way she first looked at him and then the sudden change in her facial features as she slipped this 'hate' mask into place, to protect herself. He'd done the same as she began to speak behind the glass, accessing his own anger and reminding himself why he hated her and what she'd done to him. They'd both been so afraid of being hurt by the other, they protected themselves with cruel words and threats, pushing each other's buttons to amplify the hate.

"I love you." He leaned over, whispering into her ear and kissing it softly when he was finished, giving her a soft smile when she turned to meet his gaze.

Irina felt her heart melting with love when she looked into his eyes and smiled as she leaned in and placed a soft kiss to his upper lip, holding it there before whispering the sentiment back.

"I love you, too… forever and always."

_Irina paused in her reading of documents to answer her cell phone from her home in Sydney._

_"Alexander." She answered seeing the number. "I've been waiting for your call." Spinning in her chair she leaned back looking out the massive glass windows over looking Sydney Harbor._

_"The assassin K-Directorate has sent after you… me, us I guess." He smiled shaking his head, "As they have no idea who 'The Man' is… You have a name?"_

_"Yes… the Snowman." She glanced down at the document._

Sydney watched with astonishment and sadness, realizing she had slept with her mother's would-be assassin and then in turn, killed him. The $47 million Noah had stolen from the Russian Mob on which he planned to run off into the world after he killed 'The Man,' inviting Sydney along, had actually been her mother's money.

She had loved Noah Hicks and almost took him up on the offer. If she hadn't killed him, he would have potentially killed her mother, he was so close… already in Australia… the thought terrified her and made her sad for the world in which she had lived.

Jack at the bar and Sydney's turning him in, forcing him into appointments with Barnett followed. When Barnett called him on lying and Jack lashed out about how he really felt, Irina felt like she couldn't breathe.

Judy remembered this day well and couldn't believe looking down the aisle seeing the pregnant woman with tears in her eyes, sitting between the two people she herself had counseled over her return and betrayals, now reunited as a happy family. Her own blurry eyes smiled thinking about the love she had known existed on both Jack and Sydney's parts for Irina from day one.

Irina couldn't stop the raging tears burning her already salty, stinging cheeks watching Sydney and then Jack, watch her debriefing after Kashmir. Seeing his reaction to her calling him a 'fool,' was heartbreaking.

Jack's heart was breaking for another reason watching the same images. Seeing it now, only with eyes that knew the truth, the painful truth, that this Irina on the debriefing video was one who had been viciously broken, reminding him once again what happened to her, what she survived. He glanced down at their hands and realized they were both holding onto each other so tightly, their knuckles were turning white. He picked up their joined hands and released her fingers, kissing them and changing positions so they each held, all the other's fingers. This way, he wouldn't hurt her, still very conscious of the fact her hand had been severely damaged and still healing from the repairs.

Irina gazed down at the new position of their hands where she was now unconsciously already; rubbing circles across the back of Jack's hand and smiled up at him. She knew he was worried about hurting her and his worry and thoughtfulness made her heart skip a beat at just how much he loved her in so many ways.

Jack onscreen left Barnett's office in a rage and stomped into the house, throwing down his briefcase and jacket, clearly upset by Barnett's demands of seeing him again after the weekend.

_He headed straight for his office and sat heavily in his leather chair, ripping opening the bottom drawer and feeling around. He pulled up the false bottom and removed the bottle of whiskey he kept in there, already half gone he grumbled in annoyance and took a long swig, letting it burn. His chest was still heaving with the heavy breath of anger when he set the bottle down and the picture at the bottom of the drawer caught his eye._

**_*In Dreams*_**

_He stared at it for a long moment before reaching in and plucking it out. It had always been one of his favorite pictures of 'his beautiful girls.'_

_Taken on the Santa Monica pier one Sunday after church, the perfect family outing. He couldn't bear to throw it out no matter how many times he tried._

_The routine had always been the same when he looked at the photograph, first he'd smile and touch 'her' face, then he'd remember her betrayal and that it was all a 'lie' and his fingers would form a tight fist, cursing her out and on the verge of tearing it up or at times, lighting it on fire._

_But as soon as the alcohol began to take affect, it would numb his pain and he'd smile again…touching her face gently as tears built in his eyes, seeing the loving mother she was and longing for the wife he loved and missed. The family that no longer existed was destroyed when she died._

_This time though, was different as he looked at this photo. For the first time, it registered that she wasn't dead… the woman in this photo was still alive and out there in the world somewhere… and his daughter was dead set on finding her._

_All this time, she'd been alive… and hadn't come back. Proof, in his mind that she never loved him, never loved them and it was all just a 'mission' for her… Everything had been a fabricated lie… there was no other explanation as to why she'd stay away and let them believe she was dead all these years._

_The rational side of him didn't exist where she was concerned. No matter how many times he looked at this photo, even now, he could only see his loving wife and mother to his child… The woman in this photo could not be the cold-blooded killer that was Irina Derevko… the KGB agent who had stolen his life. He brushed his finger over the curve of her face in the photo again and could still feel the way her skin felt to his touch. He loved this woman… and hated Irina Derevko with every fiber of his being. He couldn't let Sydney find her… His wife was gone, and he wouldn't let the reality of Irina Derevko ruin what happiness he held onto with Laura._

_Before he even knew what he was doing, he was half way to Mexico. Without luggage or a plan he found himself driving straight to the bungalow in Rosarito that had always been their favorite little getaway. It was close to LA and yet far enough away to let them escape every once in a while._

* * *

_Rosarito, Mexico_

_Jack pulled into the little dirt driveway and got out of the car, feeling as though he were on autopilot as the sun was already beginning to set. Roberto the man who ran the cantina next door and rented out the bungalow saw him pull in and waved with a smile._

_Jack glanced over the ocean not but a hundred feet in front of him, the quiet roar of the waves already bringing forth a flood of memories._

_Roberto approached him with a smile; having not seen him for quite some time and Jack greeted him with indifference. The little old man got the clear message Jack was not in a good mood and hadn't come here to socialize. Jack paid him for the weekend and the man was on his way, inviting Jack over to the cantina for dinner and drinks as soon as he was settled._

_Jack had stripped off his tie and jacket, dropping them on the porch where he stood and unbuttoned his shirt a, few buttons, rolling his sleeves and staring out at the waves. He didn't think he could go inside just yet, not sure if he was prepared for the assault of memories he knew would come as they had every other time he'd been back since she had died… 'No, left him.' He corrected himself with anger in his eyes and set jaw._

_Their last trip here had been for his birthday just months before she was 'gone.' Just the two of them together for some alone time while Sydney stayed with Ben and Karen Devlin for the weekend. It had been one of the best weekends of his life, no work, no interruptions… just shook his head, not prepared for the trip down memory lane just yet and headed straight for the bar, ordering a double shot of tequila to start with, no questions asked by Roberto who knew by the look on Jack's face, why he was upset… this place held too many happy memories that had become painful._

_The cantina slowly filled with tourists and the regulars as the night wore on and Jack stayed to himself in the little table in the back of the cantina, getting drunk and watching a young couple dancing._

**_*Mondo Bongo*_**

Through Jack's drunken haze filled gaze the couple flashed into the past showing he and Irina dancing on the very same floor. The images were flashing back and forth rapidly until it became a full flashback of them dancing from their weekend together. The weekend the audience now knew, was when their son had been conceived, adding to the tragedy with his loss in Kashmir.

Irina was wearing a halter one-piece sundress made of white linen cotton with a long slit up one thigh; a dress they had bought, just that day for two dollars in the market downtown. Her long dark hair was pulled up into a messy French twist with curls forming around her head and framing her freshly tanned face from the humidity.

Jack had picked a large orange flower from the tree near their bungalow and given it to her on their way to dinner. She flirtatiously had put it behind her ear in her hair with a seductive smile. She seemed to glow with the fine sheen of sweat from the heat that made her look incredibly sexy to everyone in the bar, but especially to her husband who couldn't take his eyes off her.

Jack was wearing a matching white linen shirt and cropped pants, also purchased at the same shop. The humidity was almost unbearable and his shirt hung completely open, exposing his chiseled chest and abs slicked with the same fine sheen of sweat as his wife.

They were the only couple on the dance floor as the house band played for them while the other patrons watched with smiles at the young couple in love.

_Jack's lips would brush over the heated flesh on her neck and arms in light kisses as they danced making her smile with his gentle intimate touches. His fingers barely making contact with her skin though his body was pressed closely with hers from all angles, as they continued to dance in a way that clearly revealed to the others it was more like they were making love through their dancing._

_They didn't care at all who was watching either as they only saw each other and their blood hummed with alcohol and excitement._

_Jack was pressed up against her back where she could clearly feel his arousal and his heavy breathing in her ear while his fingers danced lightly over her lower abdomen had almost been her undoing and she spun in his embrace and locked lips with him._

_Her fingers skating across his chest beneath the flaps of his shirt as the kiss deepened and then back across his nipples and down his abs toward the waist of his pants and Jack gasped. He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the cantina into the darkness and then scooped her up out of the sand as they walked in the moonlight, locking lips with her in a hungry kiss while he carried her back to their 'love nest' with the distant sound of clapping and whistles coming from behind them making them both laugh softly and smile._

_"I would just make love to you right here on the beach under the stars," Jack kissed her softly as he kicked through the warm sand, "Though I really don't care for the audience we're bound to attract."_

_"Or the sand in places it shouldn't be." Irina added and they both laughed as he pushed them through the old rickety wooden door, worn by years of sea-spray and peeling with paint adding to its charm._

_"Yes, that too." He seared his lips with hers once more, kicking the door shut behind him with one barefoot and flopping her down on the bed laughing. His mouth began to wonder over her sweaty glistening neck and while his fingers worked to untie the thin straps behind her neck._

_With that task accomplished he slowly pulled her top down as his mouth made it slow torturous journey across her chest and down the valley between her breasts, pulling her dress off as he went and making her laugh._

_He'd kiss her heated flesh and then blow lightly on her sensitive skin, causing a mixture of sensations and tickling her._

_"Jack!" She admonished him through a giggle that he found much too adorable and smiled, repeating the kiss and blow of cold air just below her naval sending shivers through her body. "Why must you torture me?"_

_"I'm not torturing you." He smiled his devilish grin, sliding the light fabric over her hips and kissing the tops of her pelvic bones, blowing on them in the exact same way. "I'm savoring you." His mouth closed over the protruding bone and swirled his hot tongue over her electrified flesh making her gasp through her laugh at his answer._

_Irina grabbed the top of his head by the hair, pulling him up to her and then quickly flipped them while he laughed when she settled just above his straining manhood, wiggling around and torturing him when it was clear she wasn't wearing any underwear as he could feel her wetness already soaking through his thin pants._

_Her dress was now bunched just around her hips exposing her naked torso in all its glory to him and enticing him too much._

_"You look delicious." He smiled pushing himself up with his arms and latching his mouth onto her satiny skin just around her neck and then down her chest, one hand coming up to cup her breast while his thumb brushed over her already rigid peak making her moan softly._

_Irina pushed his shirt off over his muscular shoulders bringing her own hot mouth down to his rippling flesh and kissing him tenderly, moving her kisses up until she was just below his ear and then swirled her tongue over his sensitive spot making him moan and breath hitch while his hips jerked beneath her._

_He cupped her face with his hand and brought their lips together, tongue sliding along the length of her bottom lip before delving into to claim her mouth._

_His hands dropped from her head to her thighs while she pressed her chest into his, rubbing her sensitive little peaks against his firm pecks. His hands skimmed up her thighs, pushing up the fabric of her dress and going around her hips to squeeze her firm little ass he loved so much and pulling her down onto him._

_The teasing of being so close to her heat and feeling her wetness yet not able to bury himself inside her because of the thin contain barrier was a sweet torture. His hand followed the natural curve around her thigh and found its way to her crux where his thumb immediately went to work pressing and grinding in slow circles that made her moan against his mouth._

_Her body immediately began thrusting towards his hand and started rubbing rhythmically over his restricted member causing his moans to echo hers._

_She was on fire and too impatient to wait for him to be inside her any longer. The long slow, torturous dance was basically an hours worth of foreplay._

_"Wha-" Jack began to protest when she pulled her mouth away from his and pushed against his chest, pushing him back down onto the bed._

_She quickly turned around on him with her wetness now dragging over his abdomen and driving him insane while she began to push his pants down over his hips. Jack lifted them to assist her seeing what she was doing now and eager to help, he kicked them off the rest of the way._

_His raging cock stretched upwards towards her, seemingly knowing exactly where it wanted to be and just inches from its target. He reached up and fingered the thin white cotton dress circling her hips and with a naughty grin, gripped it roughly and tore it from her body, throwing it behind them._

_"Jack!" She whipped her head around with narrowed eyebrows, clearly pissed; she liked that dress._

_"It was obstructing my view… I'll buy you another one tomorrow." He flashed her with a devilish smile. He was staring at her back where her hair had now fallen out and in waves across her skin, exposing and revealing with the sway of her movements, allowing him glimpses of the curves of her breasts when she twisted slightly._

_His fingers skimmed lightly over her skin and into the line her spine created, dipping and pressing into her lower back the way he knew she liked it. His smile growing when he pressed his thumbs into the dimples just above her ass perched so nicely on top of him._

_"I've always loved your dimples. They're so adorable." He laughed swirling his pressing thumbs into the indentions._

Vaughn shared a knowing glance with Sydney, both wearing blushing grins as he had just made a similar declaration about the dimples she had apparently inherited from her mother, in the exact same location.

_"Adorable?" Irina asked with a hint of question wearing a smile at the adjective and grasped his long length with her lithe fingers making him gasp._

_It was her turn to torture for a while. She used the other hand to caress his balls while rhythmically grinding her wetness into him, pulling on his shaft and circling its head with her thumb driving Jack insane._

_"Now… who's torturing who?" He ground out through groans and pants making her laugh. "My God woman you're incredibly sexy from this angle… any angle really." He smiled even though he was panting, staring at the back of her form a top him._

_Irina whipped her hair around as she glanced back him over her shoulder flashing him her seductive smile with slanted naughty eyebrows. "Sexy… much better adjective."_

_"What's… ahh!" He hissed with a jerk when she touched his tip with her fingers now wet with her own juices. "Wrong with adorable?"_

_"Our daughter is adorable, Jack. Not I." She laughed softly, still teasing him with her fingers and grinding, knowing he was enjoying not only her touch but the view of her backside she was giving him._

_He started to tickle her feet that were right at his sides, facing him._

_"Jonathan Bristow, don't you dare!" She turned around, swatting at his hands with a smile and making him laugh._

_"Where do you think she gets that from? Being adorable? Ahh..." He gasped unable to get his breath feeling himself growing impossibly hard trying to stretch and reach her wet heat he felt on his skin. "The definition of adorable is someone who's 'charming… lovable and usually very pretty.' You fit that description to a 'T' with one exception…"_

_"Which is?" Irina asked playing along in a teasing voice while she continued to torture him slowly._

_"You are extremely charming… very lovable… but you're not pretty." Jack shook his head trying hard to breathe._

_"Really? You don't think I fit the 'pretty' description?" She asked laughing softly over her shoulder with raised eyebrows, waiting for the explanation she knew was coming._

_"Nope. You don't fit that description at all in my mind…" He gasped when she yanked roughly on his shaft for his answer, teasing him, "Just wait! Let me explain!" He smiled when she turned back to look at him over her shoulder again. "Pretty means you have an attractive, pleasant face that is graceful and appealing rather then outstandingly beautiful… That definitely doesn't fit you… 'Beautiful' however, means that you are very pleasing, and impressive to listen to…" He paused with a smile waiting for her response._

_"Go on." She gave him her own seductive smile._

_"Impressive to touch," He placed his hands on her hips, tracing up in feather-light touches over her satiny skin with a smile. "And especially to look at." He cocked his eyebrow at her with a wider smile, scanning her body with his hungry eyes and sat up behind her, wrapping his arms around her from behind while his face nuzzled against her neck. "But that doesn't even really fit you… because you are outstandingly beautiful, therefore… fit the description of 'gorgeous,' My Love… which means 'outstandingly beautiful'…and goes way beyond and negates 'pretty,' beyond just beautiful… you are extraordinarily gorgeous."_

_"You've really been studying your definitions." She teased him, blushing and completely flattered though deflecting the attention from herself._

_"Well, I had to get an accurate description in reference to my wife." He whispered against her ear, brushing her skin with his lips as he held her in his lap._

_"Thank you… I'll have to start calling you Webster." She added and they both laughed, Jack nuzzling his face further into her neck and pulling her more tightly to him. "So then, Webster," They both laughed, "I'm not adorable then, as I don't fit the description."_

_Jack laughed out-loud that she had found a way and reason back to the use of adorable in reference to her. "Well neither does Sydney because she isn't just 'pretty' as she's just as beautiful as her mother but I still think she's adorable."_

_"Well so do I." The proud Mama agreed strongly with a smile as if she challenged someone to 'dare' think otherwise of her 'adorable child.'_

_"Good then. It's decided, just because she doesn't fit the technical definition doesn't mean she isn't 'adorable' therefore, you can be called adorable for the same reasons." He laughed and held her more tightly when she squirmed trying to hit him playfully. "Give it up wife. You're adorable," He placed a kiss on against her hair, "And sexy," He kissed the top of her shoulder, "Gorgeous and all mine." He whispered, kissing the spot just below her flower adorned ear he knew drove her nuts and was rewarded with a gasp and soft moan._

_"Possessive aren't you?" She gasped with a happy smile._

_"When it comes to you, absolutely." He admitted with heated breath on her ear, his flaming member was now pulsating as it rubbed directly against the wetness between her legs as he held her to his chest from behind. One of his hands left the circumference of her torso and slid down her already trembling abdomen towards her pleasure button, finding and flicking it, making her hiss and buck up against his hand when he started rolling and kneading it with his fingers sliding easily through her drenched folds._

_She threw her head back against his shoulder, gasping for every breath and inhaling sharply when he lifted her, plunging his rock hard shaft up into her heat with one thrust, claiming her._

_"Mine. All mine… forever and always." He gasped along with her, biting her shoulder softly feeling himself growing and hardening further encased by her heat and pulsating muscles._

_He loved holding her sweat covered body against his, around her and in her… he would never get over the fact that she was all his, that she had chosen him, loved him with the same intensity as he loved her. He would always belong to her and no one else._

_He released his hold around her chest, spun her around and drove back inside within seconds taking her by surprise._

_"I want to look into your eyes when I make love to you." He thrust up slowly, taking his time and enjoying the feel of her surrounding him._

_"Forever yours… forever and always." She looked deeply into his dark eyes, admitting her truth; she would never belong to anyone else. He held her heart, the other half of her soul. "I love you, Jack… never forget that." And she hoped he wouldn't._

_"I love you, Laura...and I'm yours forever and always." Jack answered her with just as much intensity in his eyes before searing his promise with a kiss, bringing his hands up to cup her head and tangle in her hair as their tongues laid claim to each other's mouths._

Jack felt like he'd just been stabbed with a million knives hearing himself onscreen tell Irina he loved her and promise her forever but using the wrong name. He glanced over at Irina and wondered how it must have felt for her, every time he'd tell her he loved her, using 'Laura.'

_'Did it feel like this? Like he felt now? Like being stabbed with a million knives to hear him promising his love to another name? Did the use of 'Laura' instead of Irina, somehow negate the declaration of love that came before it and the promise of forever and always after, for her?'_

It had to have hurt her, no matter the fact they were the same person, to hear him declare love using a name that wasn't really her own. She had always promised her love to him, using his real name, always making her promise and telling him to 'never forget it' as her truth that she had meant it when she said it, loved the man behind the assignment.

But he hadn't known her real name then, hadn't been able to tell the woman behind the assignment that he really loved 'her.' Tell the woman he was unknowingly making another baby with; that his love really was for her.

_Irina's hands slid up his muscular sides and around his shoulders, holding on as she began to move against him finding their rhythm. She loved the feel of his body around her and in her; his arms circling her with hands holding her head gently, his chest pressing against her own._

_Jack slid his hands slowly down her neck and back, gripping her hips to help guide his own movements with hers as they moaned and groaned with pleasure in their slow intimate dance._

_Irina moved one hand around to the front of his chest and raked her thumb nail over his nipple, circling it with the nail of her finger and then rolling its little peak causing Jack to moan loudly against her mouth and drive harder into her._

_He moved his mouth to kiss the underside of her jaw and down her neck, across her shoulder and slowly began to lean her back, holding her with his strong capable hands. His tongue branding her flesh with swirls and tantalizing pleasure when they found her own rigid peaks making her gasp and incoherent sounds come from her throat as her head lulled back and hair skated across his hands._

_She clenched him hard internally as a reward and he grew frustrated at not being able to go deeper. Pulling her back towards him urgently but with gentleness, he rolled them over so he was on top looking down at her._

_With eyes locked onto each other's, just inches separating their faces, Jack slowly guided her leg up higher on his hip telling her without words he wanted to go deeper but maintain their sensually slow and intimate contact._

_She obliged, doing the same with the other leg and giving him better access. Her hands dragging slowly up abs and then around to his shoulders, pulling him down slowly as she raised her head and found his lips fully connecting their bodies._

_He pulled out slowly and shoved back in with a torturously slow pace, stilling once inside, savoring the feel and then repeating making them both crazy on the verge of exploding from the buildup._

_Irina raked her hands down his back, clenching his ass with her fingers when he thrust inside her trying to bring him as close as humanly possibly, wanting every possible centimeter of connection._

_He dropped down onto his elbows and forearms, closing the remaining distance and sliding his hands up under her arms alongside her body, increasing his speed knowing they were both close. His mouth continued to tease hers, each taking turns kissing and claiming, biting and sucking in between their pants and moans._

_Her body began to tremble and he held her tighter with his arms and pushed harder, looking down into her eyes as he sent her flying over the edge screaming his name. He never thought she looked more beautiful and closed the distance between them, kissing her deeply, overwhelmed with love for her and followed her into their ecstasy, erupting within her quaking body._

_He continued to pump slowly until he was spent, kissing her deeply the entire time and then rolling her over on top of him to collapse on his chest, nuzzling her face in while Jack wrapped his arms around her._

"Whoa…" Weiss whispered, pulling at his tie again with beads of sweat on his brow. This was by far the most intimate love scene between Jack and Irina that had been shown to the audience, thus far, as far as shots and skin factor revealing went.

It was done this way for a purpose, to show the difference between the relationships, sexual and otherwise, between Irina and Dubey, Jack and Elena and Irina and Jack. What they had just witnessed wasn't the animalistic passion driven by lust… sex, that they had seen between Irina and Dubey, but intimate passion driven by love; true love-making with Jack. The difference was clearly obvious to them all.

They moved out into the hammock to watch the changing light of sunrise, holding onto each other for hours, just enjoying the closeness, the contact, the precious time they had together.

_"I'll love you and only you… forever and always, Jack." She spoke softly after they'd lay there for a long while without talking, just enjoying each other. "Never forget that."_

_She kissed his chest where her head now lay, listening to the beat of his heart and the sound of the waves, her fingers brushing lightly over his skin, following the contours of his muscle. She was wrapped mostly in the sheet with the end, and her own body covering Jack. Their legs were tangled and bodies melded in a perfectly comfortable position._

_"I love you too, My Love." He smoothed his hand over her silky hair with a happy smile on his face and love in his voice, as he twirl the orange flower from her hair last night in his fingers. "I love being here like this with you… Makes me depressed to think about having to go back to work on Monday for that long assignment." He sighed with a deflated tone._

_"No! No talk of work this weekend! You promised me, Jack!" She pinched his nipple roughly making him yelp and grab her hand. She didn't want to taint this weekend with 'work' because if he was working, then she was 'working,' and she hated that._

Everyone in the audience was also keenly aware of what that meant, knowing Irina was a spy stealing information from him at the time. She wasn't probing him to find out more information to give the KGB, instead she was demanding he didn't speak of it… and keep the time between them 'untainted.'

_"Ok, ok! Owe!" He rubbed his aching nipple with a smile, "I won't mention work again, I promise, Laura. You have my sole focus and attention." He kissed the top of her head while running his other hand up her arm staring out over the ocean in the first light of morning._

**_*The Beach Song*_**

_"Believe me, My Love, you have my sole focus right now." He waggled his eyebrows when she raised her head to look at him and wiggled his hips beneath her leg lying between his legs, his 'focus' clearly awakening. "I might have to pay you some special attention, right here, right now."_

_"Jack," She smiled in a warning tone when he began moving to the side, intent on taking her in the hammock, "Don't! You're going to tip us over!"_

_"Come on Laura, give me and my skills more credit then that!" He narrowed his eyebrows with a smile and kept moving, "I won't tip us over."_

_"Jack…" She voiced again when the hammock started to sway and when he moved too quickly, dumped them both out onto the sand, rolling them over each other with Jack landing face first in the sand and Irina laughing hysterically beside him._

_"Are you laughing at me?" Jack lifted his face out of the sand, spitting some out that had infiltrated his mouth and nose; and she laughed harder._

_"I'm not laughing at you, Sweetheart." She tried to stop laughing and failed miserably, "I'm laughing with you… no, that's a lie… I'm really laughing at you!" She died in another fit of laughter and Jack rolled over onto her, covering her sheet-wrapped body with his naked one and trapping her, punishing her with tickling._

The audience was roaring with laughter along with her.

_"Oh you think that's funny, huh?" Jack tickled her while she squirmed and squealed beneath him; still laughing._

_"Jack! Stop! Roberto's looking at us!" She kept trying to slap his arm but was laughing to hard now, spotting the older man looking at the crazy young couple from over the fence with a smile on his face, shaking his head._

_"So, I don't care!" Jack kept tickling her and sticking his tongue in her ear, grossing her out; thoroughly enjoying this moment._

_"Jack! You're flashing him!" She died in another fit of laughter, realizing she was covered but Jack was flashing his naked ass at the sweet man._

_"Nice tan lines, Senor Bristow!" Roberto yelled over the fence with a smile while his wife giggled beside him, blushing to see Jack's naked white butt in stark contrast to the rest of his tan body._

_Irina lost it, howling with laughter and tears in her eyes gasping for every breath while Jack suddenly tried to cover his naked butt with the end of her sheet._

_"Buenas dias, Roberto y Maria!" Irina finally greeted them, yelling from beneath Jack with a smile in her voice and one gracing her lips, still laughing._

_"Buenas dias, Senora Bristow!" Maria yelled back giggling with a wave though Irina couldn't see it, "When you two are finished there…" She blushed and giggled some more, "I've got breakfast waiting."_

_"Gracias Maria! We'll be there in a minute!" Irina yelled back even as Jack protested quietly in her ear as the other couple left the fence laughing softly._

_"Laura! There is no way I'm going to be ready in a minute!" He wiggled on top of her pressing his already aroused member into her, "Can you not tell?"_

_"Nothing a dip in the ocean won't fix." She smiled widely and leaned up, capturing his lips laughing and rolling over him. She quickly jumped up and tossed the sheet down on Jack to cover him with a wink, standing naked before him on the beach and then sauntered quickly towards the ocean._

_"Laura!" Jack called after her in a whisper yell with wide-eyes looking around to see who was granted the privilege of seeing his naked wife in all her glory on this beautiful morning. "Are you crazy?"_

_"Come on, Jack." She called to him over her shoulder with a laugh and then dove head first into an oncoming wave, disappearing beneath the emerald green water._

_Jack shook his head with a smile of amazement and stood rapidly, glancing quickly around him and then turning back to see her surfacing and slicking her hair back and calling him to her with a 'come hither' finger._

_"She is crazy… and I couldn't love her more." He laughed, talking to himself and dropped the sheet bounding into the ocean after her._

The camera shot of Jack's naked white butt from behind as he headed for the ocean had everyone in hysterics again and Jack blushing madly even though it wasn't him onscreen but the actor.

_He swam right up to her and engulfed her in his arms, immediately kissing her as they spun around in a slow circle._

_"I love you…" he whispered._

_The ocean water did nothing to calm him down, in fact only heated things up. In the end, it didn't go to waste._

"Oh… you guys are so _adorable_." Sydney smiled with tears in her eyes, teasing on the wordplay as she whispered over to her mother as the last image of the flashback showed Irina and Jack with their foreheads pressed together, arms around each other treading water in the ocean with raging smiles.

**_*Inferno*_**

Unfortunately, the happiness and laughter died the moment the flashback did when Jack onscreen was seen, disheveled and in the same clothes he arrived in hanging haphazardly off his body. He was sitting in an old rocker on the porch of the bungalow, staring across the old remnants of the now worn out hammock and to the ocean.

_"Well, at least now you're alive to accept your Academy Award… that was some performance, Irina!" He spat her name with venom, "Very convincing." He spoke to the sea where one last faint flashback showed him twirling her around in the water in slow motion, while she laughed and they disappeared._

_His eyes red and flushing with new tears as he downed the rest of his beer and then threw it against the tree with the orange flowers, shattering the bottle. "I hate you."_

Irina had tears coursing down her cheeks as the scene faded out and back in with the snow covered streets of St. Petersburg.

It was because of their time in Mexico, just before she left where they'd created their son, that she could not go back there, had not returned to Mexico until Jack was kidnapped by Sloane and she had the standoff with Sydney on the roof, saying what she thought would be her last 'goodbye.'

"I love you." Jack leaned over now, whispering as he used his hand to turn her tear stained face to his, holding her gaze and then sealing it with a kiss; both of them needing the contact after witnessing and remembering that weekend, what was created, and what was lost.

Julian now had an answer as to why Irina had always sent him to Mexico when whatever they needed called for it, instead of going herself… it was too painful, and held far too many memories.

* * *

**_*Palladio*_**

Rome, Italy

The scene opened at the Coliseum where a lavish black-tie party was going on and the camera cut through the crowd until it met with Irina walking up to a waiter with a tray of champagne.

She looked absolutely gorgeous in a long black evening gown cut in her favorite style: halter top around her neck with a dangerously low V-cut neckline and high slit on one leg.

The dress was completely simple, yet stunning and only more so with the accents of the diamond bracelet, necklace and earrings that adorned the rest of Irina's body. She smiled brilliantly at the waiter charming everyone as she passed and turning more then a few heads.

_"I had come to Rome, to make the purchase of the diamonds from my dealer. He was in town from South Africa and as agreed upon, would meet at the party thrown by his company."_ Lena began.

Everyone in attendance wore some magnificent piece of diamond jewelry and light bounced around the massive space from all the reflections.

_"May I get you a drink?" A devilishly tall dark and handsome Italian asked Irina flashing his best smile. _

_"I already have one." Irina seared him with her own brilliant smile, holding up her champagne flute and twirling the stem full of bubbly liquid in her fingers. _

_"Then allow me to get you another." He smiled, laughing softly and nodding towards the waiter. "My boss said to give you whatever you'd like until he can see you." _

_"You're boss?" She asked keeping the same smile, though always on guard. _

_"Yes… I work for our dear host," He smiled and waved his hand around, indicating the party, "Though he is my brother-in-law as well." He laughed and took two glasses of champagne from the tray, handing Irina a fresh one and giving her old one to the waiter. _

_"You're Joseph Barone." She smiled with realization having heard of the handsome man before her._

_"Yes… and you are The Lovely Romanov." His smile widened, clinking his glass with hers and taking a sip. _

_"How did you know it was me? We've never met?" Irina smiled, challenging him with her dangerous smile. _

_"My brother-in-law told me I would only have to find the most outstandingly beautiful woman in the room to find you." He flashed his charm and held his arm out for her to take. "There are many beautiful women here of course, but you're the only one that makes the air crackle around you." _

_"You're quite the charmer, Mr. Barone." She smiled, accepting his arm and walked with him through the crowd towards the host of the party._

_Katya was walking towards the restroom when a vision in black ascending the stairs in front of her, caught her eye. Her heart stopped catching sight of her sister slowly weaving through the crowd on the staircase on the arm of some man. _

**_*Drifting*_**

_She stood transfixed watching Irina above, laughing softly with the man and then being greeted by another with a kiss to each cheek. _

_The longing in Katya's heart was surging painfully at being so close and yet so far away. Irina looked beautiful and healthy as Katya peered at her with inquisitive, concerned eyes. She wondered what had brought her sister to Rome, to this party and now meeting with the host. _

_Irina's life was always mysterious… and Katya wondered if there would ever be a time they would actually speak with each other… share things about their lives like normal sisters. She wanted Irina to come home, home to her family. Remind her sister she still had one._

_"Katya…" Marcelo called out softly, touching her elbow with concern in his eyes when he saw her staring off into space with tears in her eyes. Her eyes flickered to his and he held out the glass of champagne, "Are you ok?" He watched when her eyes immediately darted back to the balcony as if she were afraid to miss something. "What is it?"_

_"My sister." She answered in almost a whisper and Marcelo's head whipped to hers with wide eyes and then back to the balcony. _

_It wasn't hard to spot her. Irina was surrounded by men and all of_ them were enamored with the beautiful woman who looked a great deal like his wife and mother-in-law.

_"I told you she was beautiful." Katya gave him a small teary-eyed smile seeing his mouth slightly ajar, stunned by her sister's beauty. _

_"She looks so much like your mother." He whispered in disbelief and then turned his sad eyes to his wife, knowing it was a painful subject. _

_"Yes, she does." The longing for both her mother and sister were clear in Katya's gaze and tone. _

_"Go talk to her." Marcelo nudged her, gently encouraging his wife to make an attempt at healing the hole in her heart. _

_"I can't. I don't know her anymore…" Her voice was a whisper as more tears filled her eyes. _

_"I'm willing to bet, that she hasn't changed all that much." Marcelo_ _smiled and laughed softly at the incredulous look Katya just gave him. Both knowing the woman who returned from America, more over, prison… was not the same girl who had left Russia. "Ok, maybe she has changed a lot… but I'm also positive… that somewhere inside that fierce woman," He walked around behind Katya, whispering in her ear and pressing his cheek against hers while they looked up at Irina, "Is the same sister you grew up with, knew and loved, laughed and cried with."_

_"I've known you longer, then I've known her, really." Katya wrapped her arms around circling her waist, "You know the last real conversation I had with her was when I was fourteen?"_

_"I think I remember you telling me that." Marcelo smiled softly, kissing her cheek imagining the sisters at that age. "It was about a boy, wasn't it?"_

_"Yes." Katya smiled sadly, looking up at Irina who had just tossed her long hair over her shoulder, "Sasha. Rina didn't think he was good enough for me. She told him if he broke my heart, she'd break his arm." She laughed softly as did Marcelo, always intrigued to hear about her sister. _

The audience laughed, even though many had tear filled eyes.

_"And he did break your heart didn't he?" Marcelo ran his fingers over her cheek with a soft smile, remembering her conversation with their daughter at a similar age when her young heart had been broken by a foolish boy. _

_"Yes… he did… only she wasn't around to break his arm for me when he did." She made a noise like a strangled, cut off laugh and then shook her head with new tears in her eyes. "She was in America." She paused with a big sigh, trying to regain control of her emotions and failing as more tears flooded forth staring at Irina above. _

_"Maybe she has since… you never know, she is the leader of the Russian Mafia." Marcelo smiled, teasing her and nuzzling his nose against her skin trying to get her to laugh, which he did. _

As did the audience and Jack noticed Irina's smile through her tears as she chewed on her lip and his smile grew.

"You did? Didn't you? You found him and broke his arm?" Jack asked her in a whisper of astonishment and amusement, laughing when Irina's smile and eyes took on a naughty grin.

_"She's still very protective of you." He smiled, thinking of all the ways Irina had protected his family and looked out for them, "That part hasn't changed." _

_Katya hated watching essential strangers more comfortable around her sister then she was… hated that Irina was more comfortable around these strangers than her own sister._

_"I miss her, Marcelo, so much it physically hurts just to look at her and not be able to touch her, talk to her… hold her in my arms." Katya's tears came flooding back when the light laughter stopped._

Irina gasped softly as more tears flooded her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, wiping at them as she turned her head towards her sister down the aisle and caught Katya's gaze, looking her way as well. Both sharing a silent conversation that spoke of so many things without saying a word.

_"I know, Mio Amore." He kissed her temple with a sigh, "I know… let's go." He ushered her away, believing it was time to leave the party. _

_Irina felt a presence she couldn't explain and when she turned around to look down below, she saw the retreating form of her younger sister. Her heart pounded in her chest with longing as she watched them leave, staring at the door long after they vanished through it. _

Katya's tears burned her eyes and it was her turn to gasp softly, never knowing that Irina had seen them that night in Rome, shared the same look of longing that she had.

* * *

**_*Sandstorm*_**

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Club Anastasia, March 2001_

_Khasinau knocked hard on the backdoor, rubbing his hands for warmth in front of his face and blowing out a misty breath. _

_When the door finally swung open, he glared at the man who had made him wait and brushed past him along with his body guards, the young bouncer extremely intimidated. _

_Khasinau immediately started peeling off his warm snow covered winter jacket as he made his way through the hot sweaty crowd of young dancers and flashing lights, handing the jacket back to his bodyguard as he walked on. _

_He made a beeline for the staircase and open reaching the heavily guarded door at the top of the last staircase, was shown through immediately and ascended yet another staircase. Two very large bodyguards, heavily armed, stepped aside before Khasinau began knocking on Irina's office door. _

_The door swung open and another bodyguard looked over Khasinau before stepping outside, letting Khasinau pass and joining the other bodyguards outside, leaving Irina and her guest alone for privacy. _

_"How can you stand this music, Irina?" Khasinau shook his head with a laugh as he walked immediately to the bar on the far side of her gorgeous dark lit office space. _

_"The kids love it." Irina was sitting behind her desk reading over various documents, sitting back and offering him a slight smile, fingering her hair behind her ear with a shrug watching him walk to the wall of one-way glass with drink in hand._

_"I can see that." He smiled, laughing and taking a sip looking down through the club and watching the club-goers going ballistic to the song; his gaze zeroing in on a beautiful dark haired girl smiling and laughing in the center of the dance floor. "I see your niece, Sophia is in town… she grows more beautiful everyday." _

Sophia's eyes grew wide realizing that her aunt had literally been keeping an eye on her as well as this creepy evil man, apparently. The thought of him knowing her name sent shivers up her spine and was slightly calmed by the fact her aunt onscreen looked just as uncomfortable and pissed at the man for this comment as she did.

_Irina's eyes narrowed at Khasinau, obviously unnerved, before he turned around, greeting her with a sick smile. _

_"Is everything ready with the Raslaat Jihad?" She asked immediately, switching subjects and drawing the conversation and his attention away from her niece and personal life. _

_"Yes, the purchase of the ampoule has been set for Denpasar, two days from now." Khasinau smiled, walking over and taking a seat on the black leather sofa before her._

_"For the agreed amount?" Irina asked quietly, with elbows resting on the arms of her chair and twirling her pen between her fingers. _

_"Yes. They want the diamonds." He smiled, sipping at his vodka. _

_Irina looked at him for a moment and twirled the pen in her fingers once rapidly before sliding it into the silver holder atop her desk. _

_With a three-quarters turn, of the pen in its base the painting behind her slowly rose off to the side revealing a safe in the wall. She stood and faced the safe pressing a very long series of numbers into the keypad, that seemed to be scanning her fingerprints on each button; then she pressed her finger on a pad that pricked her finger and read her blood for a DNA match before opening the first door. _

_The fifth security measure was a, retinal eye scan, the sixth and final was a reading of her hearts cadence before a soft click opened the final door. Reaching inside she removed a small black velvet bag. _

_With palm open, she quickly dumped its contents into her hand to reveal several diamonds with her thumb brushing over them before replacing them inside the bag. Quickly she closed both doors to the safe and removed the pen, lowering the painting. _

_"Tell Julian to meet us in Paris when he's secured the ampoule." She handed the bag of diamonds to Khasinau who promptly put them in his jacket pocket. _

_"Of course." Khasinau smiled, watching her form retreat behind her desk once more. "I've already transferred the page to my safe in the club."_

_"Good." Irina nodded, glancing back down at the apparent Rambaldi documents in front of her. _

_"I've taken care of Fordson… he's agreed to sell me the T-wave camera…" She paused with a tired sigh, "And I've already made arrangements with the Asiatic Space Station for the next launch." _

The film flashed forward with the song still playing over the scene to show Sydney and Francie dancing wildly at a club in L.A. smiling and laughing.

_Sydney glanced down at her watch and saw the time she gave Francie an apologetic smile. She leaned forward, whisper yelling into Francie's ear. _

_"I'm sorry, but I've got to-" _

_"Go." Francie shook her head with a sigh of disappointment. "Seriously Syd, this is ridiculous! You need a new job!"_

_"Fran, I'm sorry but I've got to meet a big client in Indonesia tomorrow. I've got to get to the airport." She gave her a big hug._

_"Fine! But I am going to spend all day tomorrow going through the ads in the Times and finding you a new job! This bank job is wreaking havoc on my social life!" She hugged Sydney back and made her laugh._

_"I promise I'll make it up to you." Sydney gave her another hug. _

_"You always do…" Francie returned the hug. _

The high adrenaline fight between Sydney and Sark in Denpasar with the Kumta left Sydney smirking down the aisle at Julian for promptly putting him on his ass that day. He rolled his eyes at her and continued to watch as the chaos erupted around them, remembering quite vividly his first run-in with Vaughn and subsequent capture by SD-6.

* * *

**_*Still In Love With You*_**

_Paris, France_

_Irina was sitting behind her desk, on the phone and speaking Russian, going over documents Vladimir had faxed her from the Kremlin on government business. _

The painting of her mother behind her, now easily recognized by everyone in the world; Sydney couldn't believe just how close she was to her mother that night and didn't know it.

Khasinau, in the meantime, had left to go downstairs and meet with Sark who was returning with the ampoule of fluid recovered from Denpasar.

_She glanced briefly at the monitor showing the main floor, smiling softly to herself watching Julian smile at the singer on stage and happy to have him back safely after a close call, from what she'd heard. Her eyes flashed to the other screens before returning to her other work answering a question Vladimir had just asked her over the phone. _

Irina was rather impressed by the operation Sydney and Dixon had pulled off, getting Khasinau's heartbeat to open his safe and she smiled with pride at yet something else Sydney managed to pull off right under their noses.

The following sequence of images showed Sydney's recognition of Will and her ass kicking attack on the men interrogating him; his astonished and freaked out reaction to seeing her which made everyone laugh and then the wild chase through the club to escape.

_Khasinau's guard bolted through Irina's door a second after she heard erupting gunfire below announcing Tippin had been taken. She quickly ended her call with Vladimir as her eyes watched the firefight taking place in her club a floor below on the monitor. _

_"My heart leapt into my throat when I saw the woman running and jumping off the tables,"_ Lena's voice carried Irina's thoughts as the shots onscreen showed Sydney's action in slow motion, _"Doing a roundhouse kick and leveling my guards, knowing it was Sydney… so close." _

The scene flashed back to Irina's reaction alone in her office watching. She winced watching the gunfire spraying the bar as her daughter and Tippin dove behind it for cover, hoping to hell they escaped before Khasinau got Sydney.

_"I breathed a sigh of relief when the guard came running back into my office announcing they had escaped though my expression came off to him, as one of irritation." _

Will's reaction in the backseat of the car of '_who are you people'_ got another laugh from everyone including the three parties involved looking back now at the insanity of that moment though at the time it was anything but funny.

Will was kidnapped, by Julian once again, under orders from Irina not to harm him or the CIA agents at the safe house. They all held their breath knowing what was coming next and eager to see exactly what was going on with each other during the night that changed all of their lives. Vaughn took Sydney's hand and like a chain reaction, she took Irina's and Irina took Jack's.


	21. Chapter 21

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Love Never Dies by Apoptygma Berzerk (O Fortuna Remix), Mother of a Mother by Michael Giacchino, Why Do We Fall? by Hans Zimmer from The Dark Knight Rises Soundtrack, Cool Building **_**by Chris Tilton**_** from the ALIAS Soundtrack, A Dark Knight by Hans Zimmer from The Dark Knight Soundtrack, ******__Corynorhinus _******by Hans Zimmer from**_********__ Batman Begins Soundtrack, ****__Eptesicus by Hans Zimmer from Batman Begins Soundtrack, ****__Idyll's End _**************by Hans Zimmer from The Last Samurai Soundtrack**_********__****__****__, Mother of a Mother by Michael Giacchino from ALIAS Soundtrack, Nara by E.S. Posthumus. _

* * *

TWENTY-ONE

o

**_*Love__ Never Dies*_**

_Taipei, Taiwan, China_

_"Be careful. I suspect that Jack Bristow will be the one who makes the exchange, not Sydney." Irina spoke without emotion watching Julian put his jacket on preparing to trade Tippin for the document. _

_Julian's eyebrows rose slightly at the thought of finally meeting Irina's former husband, her mark and Sydney's father. _

_Khasinau and Cuvee were sitting at the table opposite of her; all holding a glass of vodka with Cuvee smoking a cigarette, listening intently to the exchange and observing Irina's reactions carefully. _

_"As soon as you have the document, bring it back immediately so we can begin decoding the instructions for The Circumference." _

_"Why do you think Jack Bristow will bring the document to trade for Tippin, instead of Sydney?" Julian asked cautiously with great curiosity into her inner knowledge of these people. _

_"Bristow knows that I am alive now." She answered casually, running her fingertip over the rim of the glass, "He believes that I am working for Alexander," Her eyes flashed to Khasinau, "And knows that Alexander, and probably myself will be very close this evening awaiting the document. Bristow won't want Sydney to be anywhere near me, he'll make the exchange." She stood, walking over to the bar in her office at the warehouse and pouring another glass. "Get going… I want that document." She added a moment later without turning around; no hint of emotion at all in her voice. _

_Julian was absolutely intrigued by her response and the fact that this was the most he'd ever heard of her speak of Jack Bristow. He nodded at both Khasinau and Cuvee and was on his way. _

The scene cut to Sydney and Vaughn as they began making their way through the front of the club where the same glaring gothic music was playing, heading towards the back, weaving through the bathroom and then separating to access the warehouse attached to the club.

It quickly cut back to Irina with the other two men in her office watching the monitors in front of them and the scene unfolding on one monitor in particular.

A security camera mounted outside on the roof over looking the alley where Julian was going to be trading Tippin. It was still rather far away giving them a broad view but her heart skipped a beat in her chest when the door of the car opened and just as she suspected, Jack stepped out to await the oncoming limo.

_It was the first time she'd seen him since looking at his file from Vladimir several years ago. Irina quickly snapped out of any further thoughts on him or the subject and watched as Julian stepped out of the car. _

_Jack being Jack, demanded to see Tippin first which wasn't unexpected nor was finding out he'd already exposed the page. _

_Her blood was pounding in her ears with excitement on many levels, seeing and hearing Jack for the first time, and watching as Julian accepted the instruction page for the Circumference and walked away. She also unconsciously held her breath when Julian made reference to Jack that Sydney inherited her 'mother's singing voice,' and heard the silence of Jack's reaction as well as felt Cuvee and Khasinau's eyes on her, waiting for a reaction of their own. _

_She smiled in response, proud not to give them one and passed off her smile as 'pleased' when Julian got back in the limo on his way back to them with the page. _

_"It won't be long now and we'll know what the battery is for." She sighed, taking another drink of her numbing agent. _

_"You were right, Irina." Khasinau smiled at her, pouring himself another glass and nodding at the guard bringing in bowls of stew on a tray for their dinner. "Your instincts with Jack Bristow are still as sharp as they were twenty years ago." _

_"I told you, he is a fool. Once a fool, always a fool." She sat down in her big black leather chair, leaning back and running the edge of her glass across her lips staring into space, "A very predictable fool." _

_Cuvee and Khasinau shared a happy smile with her response over the table as they sat down to eat their dinner. _

The audience gasped right along with Sydney when she came upon the giant red ball of _The Circumference_ and held their breath watching as she ran from Irina's guards, slapped the detonator on the battery and then ran like hell when it blew in a spectacular explosion.

The image of her barely out running the tidal wave of water had Irina's heart pounding in her chest and in tears when Vaughn was trapped behind the door, telling her to keep running.

Bella gasped with flooding tears to see her son trapped underwater with seemingly no way out and Sydney trying desperately to save him by breaking the glass.

Irina's tears only flooded more rapidly forth when her guards tackled Sydney to the floor and Vaughn disappeared from the window. When the guard hit Sydney and knocked her out, the screen faded to black with her.

_"What the hell is going on?" Irina demanded of her guards in Taiwanese with Khasinau and Cuvee hot on her heels as they stalked down the steps with red lights flashing and security alarms ringing. _

_"My heart came to a sudden stop when the three other guards rounded the corner half carrying, half dragging this girl with blue hair."_ Lena's voice narrated Irina's thoughts over the images, _"Her head was limp and face turned away but I knew it was Sydney."_

_"She blew the lab! The entire floor is flooded!" One man bravely stepped forward to answer. _

_Irina stepped forward with anger on her face and terror in her heart when she reached her hand under the girl's chin and tilted it up to expose her face. Sydney. _

_"I wanted to burst into tears right in that moment but I knew I was being closely watched and let Sydney's head drop limply back to her chest, to show them I didn't care, channeling my emotions someplace_ else."

_"I want to know how she was able to get past you?" Irina stepped within inches of the head guard, screaming at him without raising her voice; the homicidal look in her eyes had him shaking. _

_"I don't know, Ma'am." He shook in with a trembling voice, "She must have come through the club." He glanced at Sydney's attire. _

_"That's the obvious! I want to know how she was able to get anywhere near the lab!" She demanded with her mind working a million miles an hour trying to find a way for her daughter to get out of this. Her heart stopped again when Cuvee stepped forward and held up Sydney's face to have a look at the intruder who just blew up the device. _

_"Well, look at this." He tilted Sydney's face towards Irina with a smug grin, "It's your darling daughter, Sydney." He clicked his tongue disapprovingly at Sydney in the way he used to do with Irina in Kashmir that made her sick, and Irina's mind instantly flashed back to that moment, showing the audience exactly where her mind had just gone. "What are we going to do with her?" _

_"You're not going to do anything with her." Irina spoke on reaction but covered quickly, "This is my warehouse, my lab and my device she just blew up! I'll decide how to handle her!" Her eyes flashed with anger and then quickly turned back to her guards._

_"I had to get Sydney out of there, as fast as possible, away from him_ _and his disgusting touch."_ Lena's voice narrated.

_"Follow me." The guards quickly followed her rapid pace through the corridors while Khasinau and Cuvee shared an uneasy glance. "Put her in that chair!" Irina pointed to the aluminum chair in the corner and a guard quickly retrieved it, setting it in the middle of the room while the other two propped Sydney up and bound her._

_"I knew from what I'd seen and heard that my daughter was capable_ _of escaping that chair, this room if given the proper chance."_ Lena voiced over as Irina onscreen, discretely scanned the room for objects that would help aid in Sydney's escape.

_"Make sure her hands are bound securely." She added when she felt Cuvee and Khasinau's presence on either side of her. "Lock the door behind you." She ordered and spun on her heel, leaving. Her world felt like it was beginning to spin rapidly out of control and she couldn't stand to be in the same room with Sydney and not look at her; check her wounds and make sure she was all right. Her motherly instincts were coming back with a raging force and she had to shove them down, desperately trying to get them both through this somehow. _

_"Irina, what are you going to do with her?" Cuvee demanded once they were in the next room, Irina's office staring at the monitor of the room where Sydney was now slumped in her chair. _

_"I can't do anything with her right now! They've knocked her unconscious! When she comes to, we'll go from there!" Irina answered him back with agitation, pouring another drink for herself._

_"I knew they were now watching me like I was under a microscope,_ _looking for one false step."_ Lena spoke quietly.

_"This is the first time you're seeing her since your Extraction…"_ Cuvee asked with arms folded across his chest with a peeved yet smug grin on his face. _"How do you feel about Sydney now, seeing your child? Tell me what you're thinking?"_

_"What am I thinking?" Irina repeated his question with exasperation in her voice, downed her drink and whirled around, "I'm thinking I'm pissed off that a device I spent the last year building, was just blown up! Irate; that my lab is now completely flooded with toxic water and the person responsible was someone I brought into this world!" She stepped forward, towards Cuvee with burning anger for him though it seemed like it was for Sydney, "So that makes me angry at, myself! Because this is ultimately my fault! If I hadn't been so weak then, if I had aborted her, or if I had simply killed her when she was born, she wouldn't be wrecking havoc on my life right now! That is what I think, Gerard!" When she finished her tirade she was only a foot from his face. _

_"She's coming to." Khasinau motioned with his head over her shoulder to the monitor showing Sydney slowly coming around. "I'll go offer her something to eat while you two sort this out…soften her up." Khasinau pulled Irina's untouched plate of still steaming stew over to him and removed a vile of truth serum from his pocket they had used on Tippin. He poured it in the stew and stirred while Irina and Cuvee watched. _

_"Don't answer any of her questions. She can ask them of me." Irina's face had turned back towards Cuvee's with a glare on the last word. _

_"Whatever you say, Boss," Khasinau nodded towards Irina and picked up the drugged stew. _

_"How do I know this isn't an act, Irina? That you won't betray our partnership for your daughter?" Cuvee leaned forward so that their faces were only inches a part wearing a sick smile, "You've risked everything before for this girl." He backed up and nodded towards the monitor where Khasinau was standing in the doorway waiting for a still groggy Sydney to come to, "How do I know you won't risk everything again?" _

_"I'm loyal to our partnership, Gerard." Irina answered back with blood thundering in her ears and heart pounding in her chest as Sydney snapped to, and was now just staring at Khasinau as he took a seat in front of her._

_"You're Alexander Khasinau." Sydney's voice filled the office and stole Irina's breath as both she and Cuvee watched the interaction intently. _

_"Prove your loyalty." Cuvee turned from the monitor and thrust his gun into Irina's hand with a cocked eyebrow and sick smile that made Irina's stomach flop and roll. _

_"You should eat something." Khasinau offered Sydney onscreen and she rejected. _

_"Wait!" Sydney called out to him; "I have questions for you."_

_"You can ask my boss." Khasinau answered her calmly with hands in his pockets. _

_"Your boss? I thought, The Man, was the boss?" Sydney looked at him confused._

_"Yes… yes, but I am not 'The Man," Khasinau answered her quietly and Sydney's eyes went wide as he left. He passed Irina in the hallway and laid a hand on her shoulder with a nod that made her feel sick. She gripped the steel gun in her hand and swallowed her emotions. _

_"I knew I had to provoke her right away so I could get this over with quickly. I had to be cruel, ruthless… get the appropriate reaction out of her,"_ Lena voiced, _"While convincing Cuvee and Khasinau I was the machine they created."_

* * *

**_*Mother of a Mother*_**

_"I've waited almost thirty years for this." Irina spoke to her daughter for the first time in twenty years from the shadows._

_"Mom?" Sydney called out in disbelief and Irina stepped out from the shadows. _

No one in the theatre was breathing, staring at the first interaction with wide-eyes.

_"You must have known… this day would come." Irina gave her a dangerous smile, speaking in a calm quite voice, "I could have prevented all this of course, you were so small when you were born." She paused and Sydney's eyes tracked to the gun she was gripping in her hand. "Tell me, Sydney," Irina pronounced her name in a mocking tone with a smile, "Who sent you here? You must tell me."_

_"Or what?" Sydney had found her anger, and engaged her mother in a stare down, "I'm grounded?" _

And just like that, Irina raised her gun and fired, dead on aim right into Sydney's left shoulder knocking her and the chair over while everyone in the theatre jumped, including Sydney.

Irina gripped her daughter's hand tightly with rampant tears coursing down her cheeks, shaking her head in another silent apology when Sydney glanced over at her.

They all cringed for Sydney, with tears in their eyes at the painful exchange while Irina walked over and loomed over Sydney.

_"Tell you what," She glanced down at her daughter now bleeding on the floor at her feet, "Think about it."_

_ Sydney finally looked up at her, trying to hold back her tears. _

_"I'll come back and ask you again." Irina informed her and then bolted from the room, pulling the door closed behind her. _

Reading about it, and hearing about it, was nothing like seeing it and Jack had to blink hard to fight back the tears knowing how painful that had been for both his wife and daughter.

_"I wanted to run, I wanted to cry, I wanted to drop to my knees and die,"_ Lena's voice narrated Irina's thoughts as she walked down the hall in a slow motion shot towards her office, _"But I couldn't, I had a part to play… keep going until she was safe."_

"Good job, Irina." Khasinau smiled widely at her, coming around the corner to greet her with a pat on the back as she neared the office, having watched the entire exchange with Cuvee on the monitor.

_"Fantastic, my Little Minx," Cuvee met her at the door, cupping her face and kissing her roughly, staking claim to his 'creation' once more, "You're such a little witch. I didn't think you could do it." He held her face in his eyes while he was smiling down madly at her with massive approval and surprise. _

_"Why wouldn't I? She means nothing to me." Irina's eyes bore into his, "Stop questioning my loyalty." She pushed away from him and threw the tainted gun onto the table, leaving it spinning where it landed, "I don't appreciate it." Her eyes flashed to the monitor and saw Sydney getting to her feet and making her way to the water valve. She stood in front of the monitor and then turned around, leaning back against the table with arms folded over her chest, blocking their view of what her daughter was doing to escape in the next room. _

_Khasinau stepped in and closed the door, walking to the bar to pour them all a round of congratulatory drinks with a smile. _

The camera was now cutting back and forth in rapid shots between Sydney's escaping action in the room and Irina's office.

_Khasinau handed Irina and Cuvee their new glasses of vodka and raised his in a toast._

_"To Irina." He and Cuvee shared a wide smile and just as they clinked glasses a loud blast in the hallway and the rapid thump of footsteps. _

_"What the hell was that?" Cuvee asked quickly with narrowed eyebrows as the sound of rapid footsteps ascended the stairs just outside. He and Khasinau quickly put their glasses down and bolted for the door, ripping it open with guns drawn to see the door to the other room at their feet, with a hole blown through it. _

_"She's escaped!" Cuvee yelled back._

_"Get her!" Irina stood rapidly with fire in her eyes, motioning towards Khasinau like she was angry. _

_"Outside, I appeared angry but inside I was relieved and anxious until_ _I knew she was safe."_ Lena voiced Irina's thoughts.

The spectacular display of Sydney's escape followed and left them all impressed and her parents and husband terrified that she was doing all of this with a bullet in her shoulder.

Dr. Barnett was aghast to see the action Sydney had described so vividly before her, it was impressive to say the least.

_"She's gone." Khasinau and Cuvee came back to inform Irina that Sydney has successfully escaped._

_"Get a Hazmat Team in the lab immediately to drain it and test the water. Round up anyone who came in contact with the fluid and begin monitoring them to see what the effects are." She ordered Khasinau jumping right into action, and knowing the fluid was toxic...already terrified for Sydney. "Take them to France, I'll contact you there. Meet Mr. Sark and take the page he recovered with you, back to St. Petersburg." Irina turned her attention to Cuvee, "It's not safe here for now and I want to begin decoding it as soon as possible. You're going to have to do that… I trust you, to do that." She nodded at him with certainty and question, making her point about loyalty and Cuvee smiled happily with a nod, "I have to take care of this problem." She added. _

_"On it, Boss." Khasinau smiled and headed out the door. _

_"I'll see you in St. Petersburg." Cuvee stepped forward, pulling Irina into his arms and kissing her passionately before releasing her, happy with the nights events. _

_Irina nodded in response though her gut violently pitched as her mouth went dry, "Go!" She ordered softly with a coy smile, hoping to get him the hell out of there as soon as possible, "I don't want that page anywhere near here now." _

_"Alright my little Minx, I'll see you soon." He kissed the hand that held the gun and pulled the trigger before he left, the significance of the act_ and chosen hand was not lost on Irina.

**_* Why Do We Fall? *_**

_The moment he was out the door; she closed and locked it behind him, running for the bathroom and sliding to her knees just in time to violently vomit over and over into the toilet. Her hands gripping the sides with white knuckles as tears raged forth and she cried, vomiting again and again until nothing was left but still she dry-heaved. _

_Finally, she stopped and rested her head on her folded arms, face down in the toilet and screamed, then sobbed uncontrollably into her arms. Her body shaking and trembling with the loss of control as images of Sydney's face, the look in her eyes and the constant loop of the horrendous things she'd said to her daughter played in her head. _

_The sound of the gunshot and seeing Sydney fly backwards from the force, the blood… the way she looked up at her with tears in her eyes and lip quivering. _

_"I just wanted to die… the fact that I had just shot my own child was unbearable, it didn't matter that I had done so to save her life… I still caused my own child pain… The first time I had seen her up close in twenty years, spoke to her, I said horrendous things, told her I'd wished I killed her as a baby when all I really wanted to do was grab her, and hold her in my arms… tell her how much I loved her and missed her."_ Lena's sad voice carried all the emotion Irina was feeling onscreen as she sobbed uncontrollably into her arms, face first in the toilet.

_"Slowly, I redirected my anguish into rage and pure hate at the men that forced me to hurt my child… enough was enough."_ Irina onscreen slowly reined in her sobs and wiped her red eyes, her breathing still rapid as the fire took over in her eyes and she pulled herself up to stand, _"The congratulations and pride from Khasinau and Cuvee over the perfect little machine they had created, disgusted me… Making me shoot Sydney, was the last straw." _She splashed water on her face and looked in the mirror at her cold black eyes, flickering with hate, as she dried her hands, turning rapidly she found her glass of vodka and downed it.

_Washing away the taste in her mouth and numbing the pain inside. She reached inside her own desk and removed her gun, slammed a new magazine into the end and headed for the door. _

When she slammed it behind her, it slammed on the audience making everyone jump. The next scene was of Sydney meeting Jack and Will on the plane.

_"What happened to the guy that shot you?" Jack asked onscreen while tending to Sydney's wound. _

_"There was no guy." Sydney gasped, still in shock and knowing her father would be too. "It was Mom." She answered and Jack's eyes flashed to hers. "And it didn't seem like she worked for Khasinau, it seems that Khasinau works for her."_

_"Umm, excuse me," Will moved closer, "Did you just say you were shot by your mother?" He asked totally confused, believing that Sydney's mother died when she was six._

Francie's call to inform them of Will's story and their subsequent freaking out on him followed, as did their explanation of what they really did for living.

Sydney was arrested and the emotional scene with Dixon releasing Sydney brought more tears at the secrets and love between the two partners.

Sydney's session with Barnett recounting the details and her reveal of her thoughts on her mother were cutting when it was clear the subject of Irina made her snap.

_"What, am supposed to say? Something insightful? The first time I see my mother in twenty years and she almost kills me, which would have made me the thirteenth CIA officer she's killed, she's former KGB, she's betrayed my father, she's betrayed me, she's betrayed this country, all anyone needs to know about that woman is that she's a bad guy!" _

Everyone in the audience sat staring with wide-eyes to hear Sydney's first reaction of Irina. Sydney in turn, squeezed her mother's hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it as her own apology with tears in her eyes. Witnessing the violent reaction her mother had told her about and now having just seen that night Irina shot her, got sick and lost it in the bathroom, was unbearable to see.

_"I think this was a good beginning." Barnett added with a smile, realizing she really struck a nerve and got something real out of Sydney._

_"Like I said, I can handle the problems I've got." Sydney tried to sound certain when it was clear she was not handling the issue of her mother well at all. _

Sydney saving Vaughn in France and his doped up reaction telling her not to inject him with adrenaline brought the laughter back when he suddenly popped up and they ran away. They were absolutely adorable in their interaction once they were safe.

Jack injecting Will with heroin and getting him started on drugs made the audience gasp at the 'truth' behind his drug habit in order to save his life from Sloane.

Sloane asked Sydney to speak at Emily's funeral and then it cut to them in Barcelona.

**_*Cool Building*_**

_Barcelona, Spain_

Sydney and the rest of the CIA waited in position to intercept the manual and everyone's hearts began to race when Irina appeared onscreen, all in black and scaling the back of the massive crate, bouncing from and spinning from grip to grip like a graceful silent cat; her latest training with the samurai and ninja's immediately flashing into their minds watching her.

A long narrow bag, obviously holding her gun, was slung across her body and waved silently behind her. She reached the top and flipped over landing silently and looking around before finding the exact spot she was going to set up in.

Weiss unconsciously grabbed his neck that had suddenly begun to throb as they watched Irina assemble her sniper's rifle, something they hadn't witnessed her doing at the beginning of the film when she was an assassin.

He smiled and snickered softly when he realized what he was doing in comparison to what he was thinking, which was, '_Damn… she's hot!_' Something about the stealthy black and the gun that made his blood hum. Many of the men in the theatre shared his opinion as they watched Irina line her sight up.

_She had told Khasinau that she would cover him as backup but her plan was very different. _

_Irina was going to take out both the man delivering the manual and Khasinau before the day was done. She was completely focused as she held both men in her sights, waiting for the exchange to take place and just as she was about to fire she heard the shouts of the CIA to 'get down.' _

_They began charging forth in black attire, surrounding both cars._

_"Damn it!" She cursed softly when she saw that one of the agents was Sydney and rapidly flew into action, working faster than she ever had in her life she scanned her surroundings to find any objects she could use. _

_A clothes hanger, twine, a fire hose, and the screwdriver and duct-tape from her bag. _

_She needed to buy a little more time and started firing random shots, first up in the air as she pulled one of the bands from her hair and no where near anyone; then taking out windows as she wedged the rifle under the fire-hose and the screwdriver against the trigger, holding it there with her hair-band then tying the twine around the handle and pulling against it every so often as she backed up, wrapped the twine around the railing, slapped some duct-tape below it to support it, and then rapidly looped it around the clothes hanger now turning in the wind._

_One last quick glance over the railing revealed Khasinau running away with the manual and Sydney hot on his heels, she knew she had to move and quickly grabbed her bag and flew over the railing, sliding down the side of the crate just as gracefully and silently as she scaled it intending to cut Khasinau off and making sure Sydney didn't get hurt. _

Irina felt a surge of guilt when the next scene showed Weiss clutching his neck, bleeding to death after being hit by one of her stray bullets. She turned her head to glance down the aisle and was surprised to catch his gaze. He gave her a small smile and nod, telling her it was 'okay' and she let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, giving him a thankful smile.

The scene rapidly cut to Sydney and Khasinau beating the shit out of each other in the warehouse and Sydney sending him flying to the ground with a spinning roundhouse kick.

_Irina watched with pride from the opposite doorway behind Sydney as her daughter picked up the gun and walked towards Khasinau. _

_'This was it, she had to move.' _

**_* A Dark Knight *_**

_"Drop it." Irina raised her gun and walked towards her daughter who was slowly turning towards her. _

_Sydney looked at her briefly and dropped the gun as Khasinau began to get up. When she turned around to face her fully, Irina could see the pain, the fear, the anger in her daughter's eyes at seeing her mother holding a gun on her, the same mother who'd shot her the first time she'd seen her in twenty years. _

_Sydney was practically hyperventilating, clearly believing she was going to kill her and when Khasinau smiled proudly at her, believing she had saved him from her daughter; she squeezed the trigger. _

_Her daughter immediately gasped, looking down and believing her mother had just shot her and Irina couldn't help the small smile that crossed her lips when her daughter realized she hadn't been hit, looked at her and then quickly turned to see a very surprised Khasinau with blood pouring from a small bullet wound in his chest. _

_Irina lost the smile as she watched him realize she had just shot him. She wanted to see the recognition in his eyes that she was the one ending his life, making it clear she wasn't his or anybody else's puppet. _

_The flash that transpired between their eyes let him see she remembered exactly what he did to her, what he cost her and what she was now killing him for. _

_Sydney was completely stunned and in clear shock as she turned back to face her. _

_"Hands behind your head. Get on your knees." She ordered her, knowing full well that her daughter was lethal and would no doubt try to fight her, and bring her in… 'Not quite yet, Sydney.'_

_"All I could think of looking at her was, 'She's so beautiful… and I'm_ _scaring her to death."_ Lena's voice carried softly over the image of Irina walking towards Sydney, looking at her intently. _"Soon, I hoped I'd get the chance to explain to her." _

_"Head to the ground." She ordered once she was standing directly beside her, gun still trained and once again Sydney did as told immediately, obviously terrified and believing she was about to be executed. _

_"I felt a wave of guilt wash over me when I looked down and saw my child trembling in fear from me,"_ Lena added softly as Irina bent over to pick up the case, _"I told her the only thing that I could…" _

_"Truth takes time_."

Irina onscreen spoke the now famous phrase for the first time and was gone, just like a ninja, here one second and gone the next.

The scene faded out and faded back in with Jack at home in his office once again. A bottle of Scotch on the desk as he leaned back in his chair, holding a photograph and shaking his head as the camera slowly panned around him to over his shoulder.

_"Truth takes time…" He spat out in disgust the words Sydney reported Irina saying in her debrief of Barcelona. "How could you shoot your own child?" His tone was hinting on disbelief, anger and hurt._

The camera had made its way over his shoulder exposing the photo he was looking at, the same photo of Irina and baby Sydney seen before in the film; the photo he'd always loved of 'his girls.'

* * *

_East of Tsarskoe Selo, (The Tsar's Village) Russia~_

The scene cut as the music continued to an aerial view of Irina running at full speed, on a dirt road towards the Ural Mountains in Siberia; in a spectacular shot that left most gasping in awe as it started high, swooped down around her and ended with a medium shot of her running profile that changed and pulled back again when she immediately turned.

Her hair had been pulled back in loose ponytail now whipping wildly in the wind as she ran as hard as she could.

_"I ran as hard as I could for as long as I could, knowing this was going to be the last run for a long time, possibly ever." _Lena picked up the narration of Irina's internal monologue as she ran on, veering off into a field, clearly knowing the area well. _"I had a lot on my mind, tomorrow I would turn myself into the CIA in the most outrageous, well-thought out plan I'd ever come up with. I had been dreading it, being a prisoner in confinement once again… but this time… I was the one in control, I was the one putting myself there, no one was forcing me to go… This was something I needed to do, unlike before. The distinction was very clear in my mind." _

Her mind flashed with images of them throwing her in the room on the sub and then dragging her kicking and screaming into the prison in Kashmir.

_"Last time, I had been taken away from the ones I loved, locked away so I couldn't see them…This time, I was going back to the ones I loved, locked away so I could see them." _She paused_, "One I love; going back to the 'one' I love." _Irina corrected herself, shaking her head onscreen and pushing harder, leaping over an old log and running like the wind,_ "Sydney was the only one I still loved… could love_," She corrected herself again,_ "I couldn't think of anything or anyone else but she and this plan. I knew Jack was going to hate me, that was a given. I'd heard his hate for me in his debriefs and again years later when I spoke to Vladimir about the intelligence reports on Jack… the latest confirmation of his hatred for me came just days ago from my mole inside the CIA."_

More than a few ears on current and former CIA agents perked up with this information of a mole she placed inside the CIA; not that it was all that much of a surprise as they had moles inside the FSB as well. It was typical in intelligence but this was interesting to know because of how this mole helped her plan.

_"They'd told me of Jack's rage over my shooting our daughter, not that I could blame him and his demanding that they put all efforts into hunting me down. It wasn't hard to convince his superiors, who had already decided, I was 'bad' enough to warrant the Number Six spot on the FBI's Most Wanted List and put me on the Shoot-to-Kill list along with it." _

Jack, Kendall and Devlin all flinched internally with this thought, even though at the time, the evidence in hand said she deserved it. Knowing that now did nothing to appease their' own guilt over the matter, whether it was warranted or not; especially Jack who did 'Shoot-to-Kill' and thankfully missed.

_"With this information out there, it wouldn't be hard to convince those in my business that I'd been killed and the others, like Sloane, that I was in hiding. I could handle Jack's hate; hate I could throw right back at him… hate meant he still felt something for me and something was better than nothing. I could live with hate. I already had been, it was_ _the only way I could keep going."_ She bound across a small stream without slowing her speed as she leapt across the stepping-stones with graceful strides of a ballerina, "_I was more worried about how I would handle my feelings with Sydney. I wanted to be near my daughter, to get to know as much about her as I could in that time frame. I wanted her to know more about me than what she'd been undoubtedly told… to show her that I did love her, and have some kind of relationship. I was scared, that she wouldn't give me a chance after what I'd just done to her; terrified, that I would fall absolutely, head-over heels-in-love with her again and not be able to leave when the time came, afraid I would hurt her again… when I did."_

The only sound was Irina's breathing and the rapid beating of her heart, mixing over the music. She ran hard through a section of trees toward an opening and when she emerged, another spectacular site as there was nothing before but absolute openness all the way to the mountains. A beautiful sight as the sun was already setting.

_"The solution to this problem was getting rid of SD-6. By taking them out and the Alliance, my daughter could finally leave this dangerous double life… Then leave the CIA and become the teacher I knew she was studying to be. She would be gone from the CIA by the time I escaped and I wouldn't be betraying her again." _

The sound of a helicopter approaching in the distance filtered into her subconscious and she ran harder as if trying to out run it.

_"I already knew, that one day, I was going to die for my child. My only wish was for her to know part of my 'truth' before I did; to show her I wasn't the monster I saw reflected in her eyes when she looked at me." _

_"There she is." Dmitri pointed from the front seat of the black helicopter to where Irina's form was running at full-speed below them. _

_They had been following the blinking red dot on their screen to locate Irina and now saw her physical form. The pilot dove low and swung around Irina to the side, keeping a safe distance as she kept running. _

_Dmitri smiled shaking his head, "Drop down in front of her to cut her off or she'll keep going."_

_The pilot did as told and sped ahead, turning sharply and then landed side-ways to block Irina's immediate path. Dmitri smiled and removed his headgear, jumped out and opened the side door. _

_His smile only widened when Irina smiled at him, shaking her own head and slowing her pace. She took the offered bottle of water and towel and jumped into the back. Dmitri closed the door behind her and resumed his seat next to the pilot and they took off._

**_*Corynorhinus*_**

_"Thirty-three miles today, Your Highness." Dmitri pointed to the gauge and then looked back to Irina who was taking a sip of water, "You must really have a lot on your mind." He knew she ran when she was thinking and she had run thirty-one miles east of Alexander's last border fence at full-speed and without stopping; something that both impressed and worried Dmitri. She was clearly planning something; he had no idea what. _

_Her only response was to turn back towards the window and stare at the passing scenery she may never see again. _

The helicopter landed on the lawn just beside Alexander Palace and Irina jumped out immediately, walking towards the garden.

The outside of the palace was clearly under construction as the paint was being stripped from its sides and scaffolding lined the exterior. She stretched out her muscles and calmed her heartbeat with various yoga positions until it was dark and then walked slowly up the short hill into the kitchen through the French doors; the camera following her as she silently grabbed another bottle of water from the fridge and made her way through the palace.

Every room was either completely refinished, under construction or covered in plastic having not been touched since the days of the last Tsar, her grandfather.

When she hit the Main Foyer many in the audience gasped as it had been completely refinished in all its spectacular glory. Irina slowly trudged up the steps and to her bedroom, throwing open the balcony doors and letting the breeze in as she started stripping her clothes off.

The scene faded out and faded back in with Irina dressing in the black suit and white shirt she had turned herself into the CIA wearing.

_She picked up her mother's earrings, delicately holding them in her hands and then placed them in her ears as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her gaze shifted to the framed photos on her nightstand and she hesitantly picked up the one featuring two black and white photographs. _

_On the right side, a newborn Irina was sleeping soundly on her mother's chest, and on the left, a newborn Sydney sleeping in the exact same way on hers.'_

_Both of the photographs had been taken by their proud fathers, Dmitri and Jack. She brushed her fingers over the glass and carefully set it down._

_Irina turned and walked to her balcony doors, looking out over the now moonlit grounds and took a deep breath. She pulled them closed quietly and headed downstairs, met by Dmitri at the base. _

_"I need to make a stop before we meet Julian at the airstrip." She spoke quietly to Dmitri as they made their way out to the lawn where the helicopter was waiting. _

_"Where?" Dmitri asked with concern all over his face. _

_"St. Peter and Paul's." She gave him a small smile and then turned her attention back out the window. _

_"Child, what are you planning? You have me very worried. First you turn up here, after being gone for months," Dmitri gently turned her face to his with finger tips to her chin, "Then you run as if you'll never run again and now you're going to see your mother."_

_Irina gave him another small smile and placed her hand over his, still residing on her cheek. _

_"Don't worry, Dmitri." _

_"I will always worry about you. It's a father's place to worry," He placed his other hand over the other cheek, holding her head softly in his hands, "and you are my daughter in every way." _

_Irina's eyes started to fill with unshed tears. _

_"Your Papa asked of me, that honor, long ago and I don't want to let him down. He always worried about you and so do I… Tell me what you are planning?"_

_"I'm going away for awhile." Irina smiled softly, taking his hands from her face and holding them in her lap instead, giving them a squeeze before letting go and blinking back the tears. _

_"For how long?" Dmitri fired back immediately but in a soft voice filled with concern._

_"A year, maybe…" She answered softly with her back to him and caught his wide-eyes in the windows reflection, "Could be less." She turned back to him with a smile. "Could be more… but I always come back, don't I?"_

_"Yes, but not without some new hole or gash in your body." Dmitri countered seriously and the truth of the statement made her laugh. "It's not funny." _

_"I don't always have a new wound when I come back, that's an exaggeration. Like this time," Irina motioned towards her impeccable body with a smile, "No new holes; no new gashes." _

_"Maybe on the outside," Dmitri sobered, brushing his hand over her cheek once more, "But something I see in your eyes, tells me you do have new wounds… new holes within." _

_Irina immediately turned her gaze from his. _

_"I was going to have to work harder on not letting him see so clearly into my eyes… perhaps that was the instincts of a parent that no amount of shielding would hide… I saw the same in Sydney's eyes; the pain, the love, the confusion and anger all brewing in storms within my daughter's eyes when she looked at me, trying so desperately not to let me see what she was really feeling, what shooting her had really done to her."_ Lena voiced Irina's thoughts once more as she stared out the window at the Neva River and the helicopter landed on the bricks right in front St. Peter and Paul's Cathedral while the people below scattered.

_Dmitri jumped out, holding his hand to her and helping her down. He didn't have to ask, to know that she didn't want to be followed inside. Sadly, he shook his head watching her go into the big building. No bodyguards, no butlers, no substitute fathers or friends… alone. _

**_*Eptesicus*_**

_Irina walked slowly up the aisle, headed towards the line of white vault tombs in the front of the cathedral. A shiver ran up her spine as it did every time, and she fought the urge to wrap her arms around herself, instead she stood tall and proud as she made her way forward. Her fingers reached out to trace the marble casing on the top of her mother's tomb and tears instantly flooded her eyes as they traced the inscription of her name. _

_"Oh, Mama, I'm so sorry… I've failed you for so many things." She dropped to her knees and the tears ran silently down her face. "You died for me… for nothing… I lost them all anyway… I'm sorry." She leaned forward and kissed the end of the tomb, resting her forehead against the cool stone. "I'm trying to make it right, Mama. I'm going back… I'm going to do whatever it takes." Her breath caught with_ _emotion and a flash of her receiving the dagger from Sensei and him telling he she must die so her daughter will live; flew before her eyes._ _"To make sure Sydney is safe, happy… just as you did, and wished for me." She paused a moment, running her hand over the marble again. "I love you, Mama. Give my baby boy a kiss for me, please…" She held back a sob and kissed the stone, closing her eyes and letting it linger before slowly getting to her feet. She ran her hand over the end of the tomb one more time and glanced at the image of the Virgin Mary holding the baby Jesus hanging just in front of her. She wiped her eyes and straightened her shoulders, walking away with a purposeful stride. She could do this, for Sydney, for her mother… she could do this. _

_By the time she made it outside she was walking quickly and Dmitri hurried to open the door of the stealthy black helicopter. She accepted his hand and jump inside with him just behind her. _

_As they took off her eyes never left the beautifully illuminated cathedral below. "Rina, please tell me where you are going?" Dmitri grasped her hand once more, "There is something very different about this trip… I can feel it." _

_Irina took a deep breath as she sighed and turned her attention to the older man holding onto her hand. She covered his big soft hand with her other one. _

_"I'm going back to America… I'm turning myself in." She told him quietly._

_"What?" Dmitri whisper shouted as all the color drained from his face and he held tightly to her hands with both of his now. "You can't be serious? Irina, they will kill you!"_

_"I don't think they will… I have too much information that they want." She shook her head slowly, looking down at their hands. _

_"Why? Why are you doing this, Child?" Dmitri pleaded with her._

_"Because I have to." She insisted quietly. "I have to make up for my past mistakes… protecting Sydney and ensuring her life is the only way I can do that." She finally looked up and saw the tears in his eyes and surprise that she mentioned her daughter, "I have to solve the rest of The Prophecy. I can't do that without the Rambaldi pieces the US government has. I've come up with a plan. Julian is helping me… it will work." She gave him a small smile of reassurance, hoping to look convincing. _

_"And if it doesn't? And if they keep you forever in their prisons or worse, execute you?" He asked with pooling eyes and his voice taking on stern desperation. _

_"Then it was meant to be." Irina responded with just as much authority, though speaking softly. "You've always believed in me, Dmitri, don't stop now… I can do this; trust me?"_

_"Of course I believe in you and of course, I trust you…" He reached up and cupped her face gently again, "But that doesn't stop the worry." He smiled and she laughed softly. _

_"I know… but then you understand 'why,' I must do this for Sydney." She looked at him softly, "I will always worry about her, especially living in this dangerous life." He nodded in understanding. "I've taken care of everything. Julian is handling the organization, Vladimir has everything under control with the government, Pytor's been instructed_ _to continue as usual and Illiyah knows what to do with the restoration, but if something should arise with that, and he needs something, I've told him to go to Katya."_

_"Does she know?" Dmitri asked hesitantly. "Of what you are planning to do?"_

_"No." Irina answered quietly. _

_"What if she needs you?" Dmitri couldn't stand the thought of their separation already, but the thought Irina was leaving and possibly never coming back without making amends with her sister was unbearable. Katya, he knew, would never forgive herself if something happened to Irina and she hadn't spoken to her._

_"Katya's never needed me." Irina replied barely above a whisper. _

Katya gasped with instant tears in her eyes hearing Irina's words on the screen; the reality that she really believed that all those years. Especially knowing how strongly her sister felt of the distinction between '_need_' and '_want_.'

_"No. You're wrong, Child! She's always needed you!" Dmitri cupped her face, forcing her to look at him even as the helicopter landed next to her jet, "That has always been the issue!" _

Katya wanted to jump up and cheer, find Dmitri and give him a kiss for telling Irina that. Her happiness vanished quickly with Irina's reply.

_"No, Dmitri… The issue's always been that I killed our mother… and our father." Irina added softly, nodding and taking his hands in hers, squeezing them. "Take care, Papa Dmi… and I'll see you again." She addressed him with the affection she held for him, saw his tears and heard his gasp._

Katya's tears ran like silent rivers down her cheek and she bit the inside of her cheek from crying out loud.

_Irina pulled her hands away and was turning to leave when Dmitri cupped her face, turning her back towards him and looking deeply into her eyes with his own tear filled ones. _

_"It is you who should take care, My Child," he kissed her forehead, "I'll be waiting." He nodded at her with a smile and let her go. _

_The plane took off with Irina watching the lights of St. Petersburg until they disappeared from sight below and then shifted her gaze to the moonlit wing of the jet for more then a few hours in absolute silence._

_Julian watched her with a studious gaze of his own, from across the way but managed to keep himself busy with preparations for this immaculate plan. _

_Irina's mind was filled with jumbled thoughts and images as it had been for the last week since meeting Sydney in Taipei. _

_"The nervousness and excitement clashed within at the prospect of seeing my daughter up close and personal, being able to speak with her like a somewhat normal person." _Lena once again came over the images, speaking Irina's internal thoughts._ "Seeing the look in Sydney's eyes when she first saw me, the hopeful... relieved tone in her voice when I first walked into the room in Taipei, helped ease some of the nervousness within me about how Sydney felt about me. There was just enough curiosity and longing… love for her 'mother' left inside my daughter that I stood a chance of breaking through whatever wall Sydney had erected since I shot her and then meeting me again in Barcelona. A chance was all I needed._" She paused for a long moment._ "Jack, on the other hand... I had an idea of what exactly I'd say to him the first time we saw and spoke to each other. What he would say to me… had my heart pounding heavily in my chest every time I thought about it. I wouldn't allow my thoughts to linger on him or what he'd say for very long before I forced myself off the subject and onto something else. I had a mission to do, I would not let anything, especially Jack, deter me from that mission." _

**_*Idyll's End*_**

_"We should be landing within the hour." Julian interrupted her thoughts as he took the leather seat opposite her. "A limo will be waiting there just as you requested to take you to the CIA."_

_"Thank you." She gave him a small smile with a nod, "Have you made the arrangements to move the men infected in Taipei to the hospital in Geneva?" Irina's smiled faded as the serious business came forefront in her mind. _

_"Yes, they will be moved tomorrow." Julian leaned back in his seat, "They are close to finding a cure. Once they do, it will be moved to the lab in Estonia. We're making sure they are as comfortable as possible, as per your request." _

Jack instantly felt guilty for once again jumping to conclusions with Irina in the past, hearing she hadn't purposely infected them, Sydney actually had, unknowingly when she blew up _The Circumference_. His thoughts were echoing in Sydney's brain who just realized the same thing, she had been the one to infect that man she saw in the hospital, not her mother.

_"How long of an incubation time for those who were exposed to the low doses?" Irina's fingers traced the leather stitching of the armrest while masking her concern. _

_"The doctor's believe approximately a month before the first symptoms begin showing," Julian watched her closely knowing exactly why this was such a high priority for her, "Once they appear the subject has a little more then three days before death." _

_Irina swallowed hard and nodded, looking away for a moment. _

_"You're concerned about the exposure to Sydney?" He dared asking without a trace of trepidation in his voice; piercing blue eyes holding fast to her form with jealousy surging through his veins. _

_Irina's eyes darted to his and her head slowly followed their path as she turned back to him. _

_"If she has been infected, and perishes… this plan fails. We need her for this to work, Julian." Irina sounded like it was simply a matter of business and not that of a worried mother, "If she is infected, a cure needs to be available for her immediate treatment." _

_"I'll let you know through the earrings," Julian nodded at the beautiful jewels on her ears, "When the antidote has been found." _

_"And the mole within the CIA will let you know when you need to be in Estonia." Irina fingered her earring then pushed her hair behind her ear. "I suspect the agent coming for the cure will either be Jack or Sydney's partner Agent Vaughn." Her voice was low and smooth, speaking with absolute certainty._

Sydney's attention diverted back to the conversation with her mother in the cell, asking Irina if she had told Julian she was a double.

At the time, Irina had said, '_No, I never told him you were a double…'_ She hadn't lied, Sydney found out just before coming here tonight when it came up in discussion for the first time.

Irina never told Julian Sydney was a double, Khasinau did. She had asked her mother a specific question and Irina replied with a specific answer, one in which she wasn't lying outright, but omitting the fact that he did know… she didn't want to lie to Sydney any more than she had to.

_"Jack will not hesitate to kill Sloane for Sydney's sake, so the only unknown will be Agent Vaughn." She folded her arms, running her finger over her lip in contemplation. _

_When she'd learned that Mikhail's son turned out to be her daughter's partner at the CIA, she was astounded. She was betting that Mikhail's son was like him, and wouldn't be able to let someone he cared about die if he had the power to save them. If Sydney and Michael were partners, they had to care for each other on some level._

_"And if he feels strongly enough for Sydney Bristow to murder Arvin Sloane in order to save her life?" Julian put voice the question she'd just asked herself._

_"I don't think how Agent Vaughn feels will be even be an issue but one we have to be prepared for none-the-less. If Sydney's life is in danger from being exposed to the liquid inside The Circumference, Jack will not trust anyone to get the cure for his daughter… He'll get it himself." Irina's gaze held fast to Julian's as the plane started making its decent._

_"You seem quite certain of Jack Bristow's reaction." Julian stated but with a question lurking in his eyes, curious about Irina's knowledge and relationship with this man. Specifically catching her use of 'his daughter,' staking no claim to Sydney's parentage. _

_"Framing the Agent at SD-6 to protect Sydney left little doubt to the lengths he'd go where she's concerned." Irina twisted the cap off her water and took a sip. The one thing she knew to be true of Jack, no matter what kind of man he'd become today, was that he'd die for Sydney… just as she would._

_"And if Sydney hasn't been infected?" Julian raised an eyebrow at her, probing for a further reaction, fascinated in watching Irina whenever the subject of her daughter came up._

_"We go to Plan B." She answered immediately, "We've been over this many times, Julian." She drummed her fingers agitated now that she was about to land. "Sloane won't turn down an offer from me to get rid of the Alliance." _

_The plane's wheels hit the runway and bounced slightly before the roar of the engines powering up in reverse turned their attention to the windows. _

_"Yes, we have been over this before, Irina." Julian spoke, gaining her attention once more, "I just wanted to clarify an important issue once more." Julian leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees while the jet taxied off the runway. "You have come up with a brilliant plan. I hope that it works. I hope that I'm able to get you out." His worry for her rang clear through his eyes though he tried hard to mask it. _

_"I have faith in you, Julian." She reached over and grasped his hand giving it a squeeze with a slight smile, "I trust you with my life." She looked deeply into his eyes with a fierceness he'd always known to speak her truth and released his hand. _

_"And if the CIA executes you? And you don't come back." He asked quietly swallowing hard and looking away trying to mask his emotion hearing her say she trusted him with her life, having never heard her utter those words before and knowing how huge this was. _

_"When you were a child, and I left on missions… what did I tell you, Julian?" Irina cocked her head to the side with a narrowed eyebrow and serious face that borderline hinted at irritation; she didn't want him to worry like this._

_"What to do in case that occasion should arise and then… that none of the above was necessary as you always returned." Julian gave her a smile that was more a smirk remembering well and seeing where she was going with this. _

_"Correct." Irina gave him a small smile as the plane came to a complete stop and she unbuckled her seat belt, seeing the limo pull up beside the plane, "The information I have is too valuable to the CIA, they won't execute me… and I will not give them a reason to while I am in their custody." She stood and smoothed her hands down her suit and then looked up at him, standing a two feet from him when he stood in front of her, "I'll see you in a few months." She gave him a small smile and nodded before turning around. _

_"Good Luck, Irina." He voiced just before she stepped out the door, swallowing hard and taking one last long look at her. _

_Irina gave him another smile and nod before descending the staircase. She was barely inside the black limo before it started to pull away and the plane immediately taxied back to the runway. She took a deep breath and looked out the window as they left the airport and the city she hadn't seen in years began to fly by out the window. Her thumb began unconsciously to rub circles over the back of the other in her nervousness. _

_When the limo pulled up in front of the massive building, Irina took a deep breath and accepted the hand of her driver. She thanked him and straightened her suit, standing tall and taking a deep breath of the fresh air before walking up the steps and inside. Her blood was pumping furiously through her veins though her mask was one of absolute calmness as she strode across the floor to the front desk where the woman was already standing to greet her. _

_"I would like to speak with Director Devlin, please." Irina spoke to the receptionist with a slight smile and pleasant voice. "Could you please inform him he has a Walk-in." She looked at the woman who went still with surprise, before sitting down but refusing to take her eyes off Irina. _

_"What is your name?" The woman asked with a dip in her voice, swallowing hard, obviously intimidated with fear._

_"Irina Derevko." She replied and the woman's eyes lit up like saucers as she picked up the phone and pressed the call button. Her eyes dropping down to look at the faces of the Top Ten Most Wanted in front of her, hidden just below the ledge of the desk and staring at the picture of the woman who now stood in front of her. The picture had been taken years ago and yet the striking features were the same. _

_"Director Devlin," She spoke quietly into the phone, "We have a Walk-in…"_

_"Who?" Devlin sat forward in his chair immediately._

_"Number Six… Irina Derevko." She added in a whisper, her eyes darting back up to Irina's whose piercing gaze made her feel like she was melting. _

_She heard Devlin's gasp on the other end and gulped even harder knowing this woman was seriously lethal from the reports. _

_"Show her to the conference room and have the guards meet you there." Devlin stood rapidly, bending over his desk with phone to his ear, already sweating as his heart pounded in his chest. "Whatever you do, do not take your eyes off that woman! Is that clear?"_

_"Yes, sir." She gave Irina a small twitching smile that screamed of her nervousness. _

_On the inside, Irina was just as nervous and pushed her hair behind her ear as she looked around._

_"I'm on my way down." Devlin announced then hung up the phone, running his hand over his face and taking a deep breath. "Holy shit…"_

He whispered in shock and the audience laughed softly.

_Irina was shown to the conference room and immediately upon entering was met by two large military guards who instructed her to sit, and then proceeded, to lock each hand into a hand-cuff that was attached with a longer chain to the chair she sat in. Giving her the ability to move her arms, but not much. _

_'And so it begins.' She sighed to herself, twisting her wrists in the tight metal cuffs. She hadn't been in the chair very long, when the door reopened and Devlin stepped in, surprise clearly evident on his face. _

_Devlin felt his heart skip a beat when he saw her; she was even more beautiful than the last time he'd seen her twenty-one years ago and the smile she gave him was exactly like he'd remembered. The glinting metal on her wrists brought him quickly back to reality just as she spoke. _

_"Hello Ben." She spoke softly while still smiling at her old friend. _

_"Irina Derevko… we meet at last." Devlin's anger bubbled out as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking at the woman he once that he knew and glowered at her from across the table. _

The scene rapidly cut to Sydney standing at Barnett's door knocking softly in tears.

_"Are you alright?" Barnett asked seeing she was in obvious distress._

_"Have you heard?" Sydney asked tearfully, still stunned. _

_"No, sit down." Barnett waved her to the couch. _

_"I was at Emily's funeral today, Sloane's wife."_

The scene suddenly flashed back to the funeral and Sydney delivering her speech of the expectations of a mother and Sydney reached over and squeezed Irina's hand, feeling horrendous about that speech now, knowing what she did about her mother and seeing Irina's tears.

_"Dad…" Sydney approached her father cautiously, seeing him on the phone._

**_*Mother of a Mother*_**

_"Devlin just called, CIA had a Walk-in, she just… surrendered… she said she wants to cooperate." Jack answered softly in disbelief._

_"Who?" Sydney asked perplexed with a soft smile. _

_Jack stared at her a moment before answering, "Your mother."_

_The answer sucked all the breath right out of Sydney and she only heard a loud ringing in her ears and felt dizzy._

The scene immediately cut back to Sydney in Barnett's office as the flashback ended.

_"I'm not sure this is a problem… I know how to handle." She sniffled, eyes blurry with tears as she pushed her hair behind her ear. _

The transition was made immediately showing the similarities when it cut back to the final scene of the film, showing Irina at the end of a long table pushing her hair over the same ear, in the same way, while the two heavily armed guards stood at her sides as she wrote her debrief furiously fast and faded out.

**_*Nara*_**

The credits began to role and moved to the left side of the screen when the real images of Irina's real mug shots from that day and arrest faded in and out as she turned front to side, wearing the black and white suit and the audience gasped through their already teary eyes when these images solidified the reality of everything they'd just witnessed.

When the pictures were over, a brief section of security footage of the real Irina in chains while still wearing the suit, was escorted out of the conference room and down the short hall through large metal doors that slammed shut behind her in perfect time with the music and then vanished.

As the credits rolled on, real images and video and news footage from those twenty-years flashed for the audience. Pictures of Sydney and Francie growing up, at that volleyball game on Parents Night with Francie's father's arm around her shoulders while she looked extremely sad through to Graduation and the exact photo Irina had in Africa.

Clips of the Berlin Wall coming down at the exact same time both Irina and Jack were there and photos of Irina on her farm in India with a little Julian.

There was also a great deal of up close images taken of Irina by the KGB upon her release that came from her real KGB file. Images of her running in Red Square and in full General uniform; photos of her flipping a man encircled by the Project Christmas children she was training.

Photos of Jack from his own mission file and those of him and Sydney in the very early years on Sydney's birthday where they both looked extremely uncomfortable. The photos Jack had given Sydney for Christmas were also in the mix and everyone awed at the image of Irina and Sydney asleep, spooned up against each other while Sydney held her Cookie Monster.

Every image was breathtaking and astounding to see in reality after just witnessing the stories behind them. The ones that brought forth a surge of tears came were the actual photos taken during their family trips to Mexico, and her trip to New York with Irina, just like Sydney described to Noah.

More photos and images from Sydney's CIA mission file were added to the mix and not one, person left, so intrigued with the real photos and films. Photos of a young Julian and Ash as well as Sydney and Dixon at Halloween parties and with Will also flashed up on screen.

The last images brought teary smiles and small laughs when the real pictures of Irina and Jack from their last trip to Mexico began flashing in front of everyone. Photos they'd taken of themselves lying in that hammock, with Irina wrapped in that sheet laughing while Jack smiled as he grabbed her face and kissed her cheek. Some were of each other and some together wearing those white linen clothes, that someone else had taken, probably Roberto or Maria the audience guessed.

The very last image of Jack and Irina from that beach excursion had Irina behind Jack with her arms wrapped around his neck, face pressed against the side of his wearing an enormous smile and the orange flower in her ear while Jack held her arm with one hand, smiling while his other arm reached out taking the picture.

It faded out and into the last picture that took up the entire screen now that there were no more credits. A close-up profile shot of Irina on the left and a little Sydney on the right, just their heads with both wearing enormous smiles as they gave each other Eskimo kisses while Sydney had sand on her face.

It was one of the pictures Jack had given Sydney for Christmas. The image was incredibly powerful and held a great deal of meaning as it slowly faded out and the audience remembered vividly the end of this movie that had Irina shooting her child, the same child in that photograph, and now turning herself into the CIA in order to save her, and see her child again.

"Wow…" Jack sat still stunned from everything they'd witnessed tonight, and ran his hand in a circle over Lena's back. She's slept through the entire film and was now stirring slightly in his arms that it had suddenly gone quiet.

The audience began clapping loudly in praise of the film when the lights started to come back up and Lena woke with a start, looking around with wide-eyes.

"Hello my, Sweet Girl," Irina cooed in soothing Russian as she ran her fingers over Lena's cheek with a smile through her own red eyes, using the other hand to wipe the stinging tracks. Her head was pounding from all the crying but she couldn't be more, happy looking at her baby, then her husband and letting out a sigh of relief. "I love you, Jack." She moved her other hand to his cheek while still cupping Lena's and giving him a kiss, running her thumb lovingly over his cheek as she did so.

"I love you, My Love." Jack whispered back in Russian, holding her hand to his cheek with his own and then kissing her again.

Sydney stood beside them, her own pounding head and red eyes, kissing Vaughn and holding him tightly before turning to her mother.

When Irina turned, she simply opened her arms and engulfed Sydney into her embrace. Sydney's arms wrapped around her in a crushing embrace as neither said anything, just cried and held tightly to each other after witnessing the events of the years of separation.

There were so many things, each of them wanted to talk about with the other but for now, just holding each other was all they wanted… having just been reminded of those terrible years apart. They held each other for a good while before Irina pulled back, cupped Sydney's face and just stared at her daughter with a smile. She kissed her forehead, each cheek and then lips before giving her, another quick hug and nod, that meant they would talk later.

Sydney shuffled past her mother to her father who was standing behind her, holding a now very awake Lena and watching the exchange between the two.

"Daddy…" She addressed him with a smile, her voice quivering with emotion as she stepped forward into his own embrace and cried for what she had learned. "I love you so much." She whispered into his ear, holding him tightly and then burying her face in his neck, having learned so much about their own relationship and his distance from her over those twenty-one years.

"I love you too, Sweetheart." Jack held her immensely tight with his one arm not holding Lena and tears pricked his eyes again. "We'll talk about everything… especially that boy you brought home with you and whom I'm now going to hunt down with your mother and torture." He added with a smile and laughed when she did.

"Dad." She backed up, giving him the famous Derevko eyebrow with a hint of warning in her voice breaking into a smile.

Irina kissed and hugged her way down the aisle, apologizing again to Will and then to Weiss for what happened.

Both told her they forgave her once again with smiles and Weiss made her laugh with his comment of, "_Whoa Legs… that was just whoa whoa whoa_!" Then kissed her cheek when she hugged him again, laughing and gave her a slight bow, seeing the tiara on her head and remembering who she was added, "You are amazing, Your Majesty."

"Extremely enlightening, Empress." Kendall looked at her over Weiss's shoulder as their hug ended, giving her a small smile and nod, still in his own awe while Judy, Dixon and Hayden Chase all nodded in agreement with wide red eyes themselves.

"It will take me months to process and absorb everything I saw tonight… and more amazing still, is how you are alive to tell it." Judy took her hands and gave them a gentle squeeze with a smile.

"Thank you," Irina smiled earnestly at her in return, "For being there for Sydney… and for Jack." Judy's smile widened as more tears flushed her eyes and she simply nodded in response.

"You're like...Robin Hood, you know with his band of merry men?" Marshall smiled at her nervously with a smile, "Except, in this case you weren't a man though you were called, The Man and you didn't have merry men but the mafia and they didn't seem merry...now I'm rambling." He wiped his sweaty palms on his tuxedo pants and Irina's smile lit her face, trying not to laugh, "I just...that was amazing. Total Wow."

"Thank you." She leaned over and kissed his cheek and then Carrie's.

Katya was next and her eyes were burning as bright red as the rest of them, staring at Irina before taking two quick steps and crashing into her with a crushing embrace, crying.

"Dmitri was right. I've always _needed_ you." Katya whispered directly into Irina's ear, then kissed it and held her more tightly.

The reaffirmation in Katya's declaration brought a new surge of tears to Irina's eyes and she held her sister just as intensely, admitting her own truth. "Just as I've always needed you." She whispered right back and heard Katya's small sob, "I love you, Katya."

Julian was just behind Katya and the moment he turned around and Irina was able, she grabbed him to her, holding on tightly and surprising him with the fierceness in her embrace.

"I love you, Julian." Irina leaned back just enough to kiss his cheek and then held him tightly again, speaking into his ear, "I love you, I love you, I love you… forever and always, my son."

He wrapped his arms around her, turning his face slightly into her hair and inhaling her scent, closing his eyes and fighting the tears.

"I love you too, Mama."

"There's so much I want to say to you, so much we have to talk about," Irina collected herself and pulled back, cupping his cheeks and running her thumbs softly over his skin with a serious look on her face, still sniffling. "But one thing cannot wait… Thank you, Julian… for being there for me," She sobbed in a whisper as she inhaled a ragged breath and smiled, "For being a reason for me to want to stay alive." She saw the flash of surprise in his eyes and immediate questioning tears, the fear and also hope she saw reflected in the new pools forming. "My survival instincts are what kept me coming back, alive… but subconsciously, even though I wasn't able to admit it to myself then…" She felt another one of her own tears fall as she smiled at him, seeing his own tears on the edges of his eyelashes, "You were a major part of those instincts… I needed to come back to you, I didn't want to leave you alone… We were a team… and I needed you… its why I took you almost everywhere with me." She laughed softly and thumbed away the two tears that slid over his lashes and saw the relief in his eyes. "I love you… so much." Her voice quivered with emotion, "I love you." She told him again, feeling the same pressing need to tell him as often as possible now as she did with Sydney. She kissed his forehead, then both cheeks and his lips just as she did with Sydney before hugging him tightly again.

"Thank you for telling me." Julian felt a wave of relief, his initial instincts had been right, his hopes for the 'reason of her returns' proved true. He smiled, and kissed her cheek, still holding her tightly, "I love you too, Mama… so much." His love for her had only grown more fierce since seeing the early days of their relationship onscreen, seeing the ways she loved him, tried to love him and couldn't because she was too broken inside… but had still loved him the best she could. Seeing everything she went through, the parts of her she never let him or anyone see… was like another glimpse into her soul and he understood now, more than ever… why she had tried to remain so distant with him. "I love you too, Mama." He whispered once more, kissing her cheek with a smile and then the palm of the hand that held his face.

Irina's eyes burned with new tears, never tiring of hearing him say he loved her or call her Mama, especially after being reminded of the twenty years they spent together as unwanted rogues of the world who only had each other. She brushed her fingers over his cheek once more before turning back as Jack and Sydney approached Julian.

Sydney's hands still shaking from emotion and eyes still burning red and itching, she took a deep breath and plunged forward while everyone's eyes began tracking her. She stopped two feet in front of Julian who was looking at her puzzled with knit eyebrows and then with wide-eyes when Sydney took another deep breath and quickly closed the distance, hugging him.

"I finally understand now." She spoke in his ear while Julian's arms remained paralyzed at his sides, his eyes wide. "You 'are' her son… she 'is' your mother." She swallowed hard and forged on, feeling as though this night had helped her tremendously to understand and mend another portion of the gap between them, "And you 'are' my brother." She added in almost a whisper.

Julian's eyes stung with new tears, his heart pounded rapidly in his chest and the stun he was from being blind sided with this admission left him reeling; especially after witnessing exactly how close and how much Francie had meant to Sydney's life… knowing he was the one who took her away. Irina was right, Sydney was the best person, had the biggest heart. He slowly pulled his arms up, and wrapped them around her, returning the embrace and Irina inhaled a shaky breath with rampant tears and a smile on her face watching the exchange.

"I'm so sorry for Francie… seeing how much she meant to you." His voice cracked with emotion as new tears flooded forth and Sydney's did too, thinking about Francie, "She was an amazing person, Sydney and I'm sorry for taking her away." He admitted with tears running from his eyes staring at Sydney when she stepped back, "I will never forgive myself for the malicious actions I took out of jealousy, and the repercussions of those actions. I know that will never be enough, and it shouldn't be… but I want you to know how sorry I am."

"I will never forget what you did, what you took from me, from everyone who loved Francie." Sydney's tone was harsh but quiet as she swallowed her emotion, and more tears flooded forth staring into his eyes, "That being said, I forgive you…" She spoke quietly and he gasped softly, with mouth hanging open slightly, stunned. "I forgive you." She repeated and stepped forward again, hugging him quickly then stepping back, nodding at him just as quickly excusing herself and then turning towards Vaughn attempting to stop herself from sobbing over her loss if she stayed in that conversation any longer and this was not the place. She had seen tonight, first hand how much her mother continued to love her in her absence, tried to protect her and she also saw what that had done to Julian over the years, the jealousy slowly grew over the love he always craved from their mother and blamed Sydney, for never receiving.

"Let's go home, My Love." Jack whispered into Irina's ear, his hand on her neck pulling her head towards his lips where he kissed her temple.

Irina turned to him with a smile, wanting nothing more then to curl up with him in their bed. She nodded softly and they all began to make their way out of the packed theatre, still a buzz with excited audience members.

Most of the crowd had moved outside the theatre, but the majority of their group remained at the back of the theatre talking.

Irina spotted the fantastic actress and now friend who had played her for the majority of the film and smiled with tears, hugging her tightly and thanking her profusely as they both cried and laughed. Going through that on Lena's end, and seeing it on Irina's, was life changing and reaffirming for both women who would forever be bonded after sharing this experience.

"You were absolutely brilliant." Irina smiled at her, taking a step back but holding her hand giving it a squeeze while their husbands came to stand beside them. "Perfect with every look, every tone, to convey exactly what I was feeling, thinking, just… everything… Thank you."

"No, thank you." Lena countered, smiling and wiping at the falling tears on her cheeks, "For giving me the honor of portraying such a magnificent woman…" She smiled and they all laughed softly. They stood there talking for quite some time as everyone else eventually cleared out and only their party remained.

"Oh my God, Syd." Vaughn gasped and grasped Sydney's elbow, stopping their chatter with the group of everyone in their party around them and nodding in the direction of her parents with wide eyes of disbelief.

"What?" She asked with question until her eyes landed on the man walking towards her unsuspecting parents. "Oh God… Dubey." She gasped in a breath barely above a whisper.

"_Ho-ly shit_." Weiss and Kendall both gasped at the same time, laying eyes on the man; Kendall for the first time in real-life.

"My God, _he is_ gorgeous." Sophia gasped with hand going to her mouth, which hung slightly open.

All of their minds rapidly flashing back to the incredibly hot and intense moments from the film between Irina and Dubey, seeing the real man walking towards the real woman.

Just as Sydney was thinking of ways to warn her mother, Irina's gaze caught his over Lena's shoulder and she stopped mid-sentence and gasped.

"Oh lovely," Jack gasped sarcastically along side her, feeling his guts roll within and heart beat rapidly as Dubey locked eyes with Irina and smiled at her.

* * *

**_AN: I will be back and posting again on Monday! I FINALLY have a couple of days off and I will be spending them with my family and my most favorite Tiny Humans ever! After nearly two months, I can't wait. Sorry for the posting interruption but they get my sole focus the next 48 hours! -Wild_**


	22. Chapter 22

_**Recap: **_

_"Oh my God, Syd." Vaughn gasped and grasped Sydney's elbow, stopping their chatter with the group of everyone in their party around them and nodding in the direction of her parents with wide eyes of disbelief._

_"What?" She asked with question until her eyes landed on the man walking towards her unsuspecting parents. "Oh God… Dubey." She gasped in a breath barely above a whisper._

_"Ho-ly shit." Weiss and Kendall both gasped at the same time, laying eyes on the man; Kendall for the first time in real-life._

_"My God, he is gorgeous." Sophia gasped with hand going to her mouth, which hung slightly open._

_All of their minds rapidly flashing back to the incredibly hot and intense moments from the film between Irina and Dubey, seeing the real man walking towards the real woman._

_Just as Sydney was thinking of ways to warn her mother, Irina's gaze caught his over Lena's shoulder and she stopped mid-sentence and gasped._

_"Oh lovely," Jack gasped sarcastically along side her, feeling his guts roll within and heart beat rapidly as Dubey locked eyes with Irina and smiled at her._

* * *

TWENTY-TWO

o

The baby began to bob on Jack's arm with wide-eyes of excitement and smiles, her little hand palming his cheek and looking at her Daddy with curious eyes.

The woman on Dubey's arm seemed as equally nervous and uncomfortable about the meeting as the rest of them did. She stood shyly to the side when Dubey stopped three feet in front of Irina.

He took her hand in his, kissed her knuckles with a slight bow and a smile.

"Your Majesty," Dubey's eyes locked onto Irina's once more and smiled, not relinquishing her hand which Jack took note of right away.

"Vijay," Irina greeted him softly, completely stunned and in shock over seeing him. "What are you doing here?" She asked rapidly with knit eyebrows, slowly pulling her hand from his and placing it over her belly instead.

"It was the big premiere… and I am in a significant portion of the film you know?" Dubey smiled, teasing her and staring intently.

Jack and Irina's thoughts went off in rapid, tandem fire at the thought of Dubey also in the theatre watching the film and hundreds of moments and flashes streamed through their minds.

"Yes, of course you were… its just, I wasn't expecting to see you here." Irina's eyes returned to his, feeling incredibly guilty for the pained look she saw in Dubey's eyes when he looked from Lena and Jack to her belly and then over the reveals about the 'whys' he learned tonight about why she could never give him what he wanted, her love and her heart.

The 'personal life' she had always kept from him, her truth. She knew he had worked out a deal with the US government about his status months ago, giving him the ability to roam freely around the world as he pleased… she just never thought of him being present tonight, though it made perfect sense. Like he said, he and his life were a significant portion of this film.

"Well, I saw the first one and was completely blown away with what I'd learned about you," He gave her a small smile, "I was more then curious to see how the years I knew you would play out on screen, which I was happy to see told very accurately by the way," His eyes flashed to Jack's wearing a smile and a wink before turning his attention back to Irina, "As well as learn about what you were doing… what you were thinking," His smile fell thinking about what he'd learned she was really 'thinking,' but a small one still remained, "When I wasn't with you and when I was. This was my chance to learn about the side of you, you always kept hidden from me." He spoke quietly though his smile grew, "I must say that I learned a great deal… as well as understanding," he admitted. "I always knew you were an amazing woman, Empress Irina," He accentuated her name with a raging smile, "What I've learned about you since has only amazed me more."

"Why don't we give you two a minute alone." Jack swallowed hard, realizing that was the obvious and right thing to do. Let them say their piece and goodbyes now that their own relationship had been flashed before the world. He wouldn't deny being jealous, but he also completely trusted Irina and knew this was something that had to be done.

Irina flashed her wide surprised eyes to Jack as the others started walking towards their group standing twenty-feet away with equally wide-eyes all staring at Dubey, Irina and Jack with rapt fascination.

"We'll be over there when you're ready." He cupped Irina's face giving her a small smile seeing her surprise and placed a soft kiss on her lips; not to show possession but to offer his loving support.

Irina held his hand to her face for a moment with a soft smile and tears building in her eyes seeing the trust and love in his eyes. "Thank you." She kissed him back with an equally soft kiss and Dubey shifted uncomfortable on his heels. His own attention going to the woman on his arm and kissing her cheek as she too stepped back, waiting for Jack.

"Oh my God, what is Jack doing?" Weiss whisper shouted out of the side of his mouth astonished at what he was seeing.

"Mama! Mama!" Lena started to squeal when she saw Jack was leaving her Mama's side and reached out for Irina with her little arms, her lip quivering. "Moya Mama! Moya Mama!" She chanted in Russian making them all smile and Irina beckoned Jack for her baby girl crying, 'My mama!' He put Lena on the ground and everyone laughed when she ran towards Irina on tiny legs and she scooped her up.

Jack walked back to the group with Dubey's date with hands in pockets. The rest of the group were stunned to see Jack walking towards them, with Dubey's date so calmly… away from Irina alone with Dubey, especially those who were present in Jakarta.

"Jack." Jack held his hand out to the woman as they neared the group.

"Malaya." She smiled at him, accepting his hand and slightly stunned at his informal introduction, knowing he was in fact, royalty. "This is fairly awkward, isn't it?"

Lena giggled madly now that she was in her mother's arms and slapped her outstretched palms and fingers against each of Irina's cheeks softly with glee before she was shifted completely to Irina's side. She snuggled her head down on Irina's shoulder, into her neck and placed her hand against Irina's neck in her position of comfort, staring at Dubey with her mother's eyes and slanted eyebrow.

"Yes, it is." Jack smiled and laughed softly with her. "How long have you known, Dubey?"

"Awhile," Malaya smiled, pulling her shawl more tightly around her shoulders, "Though we just started seriously dating about six months ago."

"She's gotten so big since I last saw her," Dubey reached out to lightly touch her arm and then quickly pulled back, as if it burned, "And even more beautiful. I always knew you'd be an incredible mother," His smile was genuine and filled with longing. "Congratulations on the twins you're expecting, I heard you were having one of each."

"Thank you and yes, we are." Irina's eyes flashed to Jack's who was standing with the others and watched as he and everyone else, quickly looked away, not wanting to look as though they were spying. "Vijay, I want and need to thank you again for your consent in all of this… but more importantly, I want and need to thank you for everything you did for me all those years by simply being there whenever I needed you. You meant a great deal to me… and still do." She reached out and squeezed his hand lightly with a smile before pulling it back and running it over Lena's back. "Thank you… for everything."

"No, don't thank me, Irina." He gave her a small smile shaking his head and shifting his feet, staring at them before looking up at her with intense eyes. "There is no need to thank me for the time we spent together… or for being there for you when you needed someone. After watching what I just did, learning more about you then I ever thought possible… it is I who should really thank you-"

"Vijay-" She interrupted, shifting on her own feet shaking her head softly, "You don't have to thank me-"

"Just hear me out." He interrupted her in return with a large smile, starring at Lena who was smiling madly and flirting with him, "I'm honored that I could be that person for you, Irina." He paused speaking softly, "I knew before seeing these films and reading about your life, that Jack is the one who held your heart. But now, I understand 'why' he holds your heart."

Irina couldn't stop the tears in her eyes from forming no matter how hard she tried to blink them back.

"Your love for each other, astounds me… and I'm truly happy for you." He smiled widely, running his hand down Lena's little arm once more, fighting his own tears back, "I won't say I'm not jealous of Jack for holding your heart and having the life with you that I always wanted," He paused laughing softly, wearing a smile and trying to fight back his pain with laughter, "Because I am… so jealous… but you deserve this, Irina… I'm just thankful to have shared in part of your life for as long as I did. I was at the Coronation," He admitted and her blurry eyes lit with surprise, "And I've seen you on the television, giving interviews and talking about your life… I've never seen you happier, your smile wider and your laughter brighter… something in your eyes I've never seen before... you are truly happy, and that was something I could never give you. Wanted to… but never could, I understand that now."

Finding out the reasons why she didn't want to have a baby with him or any other man, were painfully clear now after first witnessing her having to leave Sydney, then Kashmir and then the loss of her baby boy and the subsequent pregnancies from rape.

His guilt for suggesting it to her, asking it of her, a child, burned in him like liquid fire when he saw her mind flash in the film to her lost babies when he brought it up to her, relaying her thoughts. Though looking at the baby in her arms now, and seeing her pregnant belly, he still wished they were his; that she was his even if he knew it would never ever happen.

Lots of things had become painfully clear for him watching this story of her life, including the glaring differences in the sexual relationship with him, and the way she was, with Jack. She made love to Jack; she only had sex with him.

"Vijay-" Irina tried to say something again but he silenced her again with a smile.

"I'm almost done. Promise." He smiled and took a breath, "There is one last thing I want to say…" He looked up into her eyes and held them fast.

Irina swallowed hard and felt her mouth go dry with what she saw in his eyes, her heart pounded loudly in her ears about to silence him once more, and yet stopping herself, seeing he needed to say it in order to move on.

"You would never allow me to say this, it never changed the fact I felt it and you don't have to say anything in response to it now," He paused with his own pounding heart and saw the new tears in her eyes, knowing she knew exactly what he was going to say, "I loved you, Irina. I love you still." He paused, his own voice dripping and choked with emotion.

The tears in her eyes welled and a single tear disobeyed and began to roll down her cheek.

Jack knew he wasn't the only one who'd just lip read what Dubey said to Irina when he heard Sydney, Weiss and several others gasp softly beside him. He doubted the rest of the agents weren't all doing the same thing, it couldn't be helped even for those who weren't agent trained to read lips could pick out the distinct pattern ones mouth makes when making that statement.

"Oh my God," Sydney whispered in shock with her hand to her mouth, fresh tears in her eyes.

Jack balled his hands into fists in his pockets but stayed where he was and instead turned away, the other's taking his lead and looking away though awkward silence fell upon them all not quite sure what to say.

"Part of me, will always love you. I know you don't share that love, and that's ok with me. I'm happy just to love you; you're one of the best friends I've ever had, and I'll always be here for you… whatever you need, I'm here." Dubey reached out his hand and took hers, kissing her fingers with a soft smile and then letting go, "As your friend, I'll always be here for you… your family," He smiled once again at Lena who was batting her eyelashes at him profusely. "I'm here."

"Thank you, Vijay." Irina gave him a soft smile of her own, reaching out and grasping his hand once more and then wiping the tears from her cheek.

They stood in a moment of awkward silence before Dubey smiled, "Malaya and I, should be going…we have Dinner Reservations."

"She's very beautiful." Irina smiled looking at the beautiful dark haired woman and then at Dubey. She had heard Dubey speak of her over the years and knew she was special to him.

"Yes, she is." He smiled with a soft laugh, "I think I've fallen in love with her." He whispered softly as they slowly walked towards the others, staring at his shoes and then looking up in time to see Irina's brilliant surprised happy smile. "We've been friends actually, since we were teenagers… she was and still is my best friend, I guess… she's one of the main reasons I gave up the darker side of life." He smiled, looking from Malaya to Lena, "I want more from life. I want what Jack Bristow has." He laughed when he saw Irina's eyes flash to his and narrow, "What I mean is, I want a beautiful wife that sleeps with me all through the night and whom I can just stare at in the morning," He flashed her a smile referencing back to what she could never give him and he always wanted, "And I want to have beautiful children to fill my house with laughter… and watch them grow up and grow old with my wife… that's what I meant."

"I wish you all the best and hope you get everything you want from life, I really do." Irina smiled brightly, speaking with sincerity in her voice.

Dubey extended his hand with a smile to Jack when they came to stand in front of each other, "Your Highness." He greeted him formally and Jack accepted his hand, "Congratulations on the twins."

Both shaking quickly and then letting their hands drop.

"Thank you." Jack acknowledged his truce softly with a nod.

"Malaya, I'd like to introduce you to the Tsar of Imperial Russia, Empress Irina." Dubey smiled widely, laughing softly at the title he was still adjusting to. "Your Majesty, this is my Malaya." He turned his smile toward the beautiful woman stepping forward.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Malaya." Irina kissed both of her cheeks in the formal greeting with a smile. Lena was squirming all over the place and reaching for her Godfather Marshall who happily took the giggling girl from Irina.

"Likewise Empress. I've been hearing about you for years," Malaya smiled and linked her arm with Dubey, just as Irina had done with Jack. "Its nice to see that Vijay wasn't exaggerating about you." She laughed softly when everyone else smiled. Irina was only slightly stunned to hear that Dubey had talked with Malaya about her and probably their relationship. "You are a remarkable woman, Your Majesty… I'm very much looking forward to seeing the next film."

"Thank you, Malaya." Irina extended her hand and clasped the woman's fingers with a smile, speaking softly.

"Well we better get going, we have dinner reservations. It was good to see you again, Irina… and your family." Dubey's eyes tracked over the faces with a smile. He stepped forward and kissed, both of her cheeks, "Take care and best wishes with the new babies."

"Thank you… and best wishes for you too." She gave him a wide grin, with mischievous eyes knowing he would probably end up marrying Malaya, and soon from the way he spoke about her. They had already been best friends for years, confidants, it only made sense that they had fallen in love and would spend the rest of their lives together. She was happy for him.

* * *

Irina had rocked Lena to sleep and was running her finger lightly over her sweet little face when Jack leaned against the doorframe of the nursery with a smile seeing his wife with their baby. She was still dressed in her gorgeous gown, hair still up with her tiara in place having come directly to this room when they arrived home; Lena was exhausted, they all were.

"Pretty soon, she won't fit anymore." His smile continued to widen noting the way Irina had to hold Lena in order for her to rock their baby with her growing belly.

"Shhh." Irina put her finger to her lips with a smile in a whisper, "Don't speak of such things, Jack." She laughed softly and looked down at the sleeping angel, "I'll always find a way for her to fit." Her baby was growing up too fast as it was.

And Jack knew the determined mother would. "I'm sure you will." He laughed softly with her.

Irina's eyes were still bloodshot and puffy from all the crying and he could read the exhaustion in her voice and see it in her eyes but she still looked impossibly beautiful.

He was lost staring at her, slowly rocking their sleeping baby in the dim light of the room when her voice broke his revere.

"I could just look at her for hours," Irina said quietly, smiling when she realized he'd been lost in thought staring at them. "Would you help me up, please?" She was tired, pregnant and feeling slightly dizzy as it was.

"Of course, My Love." Jack smiled, moving over beside her and lending her a hand. "Are you ok?" He noticed her slow blink and realized it had been a while since she ate anything.

"Slightly dizzy actually, maybe you should take, Lena." She admitted softly, not wanting to drop her baby if she passed out.

Jack narrowed his eyebrows in concern as he took the baby from her carefully.

"Don't worry, Jack… I'm ok. I'll go downstairs and get something as soon as we're done." She smiled softly, and ran her fingers over his cheek; walking with him to put Lena in her crib and then covering her with the blanket when the baby immediately flipped onto her stomach, pulled her knees up under her, little bum in the air and started sucking her thumb. "She's so cute." Irina smiled, running her fingers over her baby's curls behind her ear.

"Goodnight." Julian paused in the doorway, whispering at them with soft smiles on his way to bed.

"Goodnight Julian." Irina whispered back to him with a smile, beckoning him into the room and meeting him halfway with open arms, hugging him fully then cupping his face and kissing his cheeks. "I love you." She smiled, feeling tears once again and tried to blink them back, her eyes already felt bruised from all the crying but this time, her tears were of happiness.

"I love you too, Mama." He smiled, clasping her hands over his face, never tiring of her motherly love. "Goodnight Jack," Julian turned his attention towards the man he was slowly building a real relationship with.

"Goodnight Julian," Jack smiled, still standing by the crib. "Julian," Jack called after him when the young man was to the door, "Would you please grab your mother something quick to eat from the kitchen and bring it up? She's low and getting dizzy." Referring to Irina as Julian's mother was completely second nature to Jack now; after tonight, he understood all that much more their relationship.

"Jack, I can-" Irina turned to him, believing herself capable of getting something.

"Of course." Julian interrupted her protest with a smile that hinted at devious when he turned it towards Jack and was out the door.

"You guys think it's so funny to gang up on me." Irina smiled at Jack, wrapping her arms around his waist as they leaned against the crib rail.

"Its for your own good, Stubborn. I don't want you on the stairs if you're dizzy." He brushed his nose with hers, "I love you, Irina." Whispering against her mouth.

"I love you too." She stared into his eyes rubbing her nose softly against his with a smile then kissing his upper lip softly. "I'm so happy to be home." Her fingers moved up to his head, threading in his hair and pulling his forehead to hers, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. "I missed you so much."

He knew she was speaking of the last twenty years, the evidence of her misery without him just as clear as his own now, after watching the film. 'Home' was being together.

"I missed you too… and I'm so happy that you're home." He kissed her forehead just as Julian bound into the doorway; stopping dead in his tracks at feeling like he was interrupting something but smiling just the same when they both turned to smile at him, still holding onto each other.

"Here Mama, please eat something." He stepped forward, holding out the plate of sliced apple, bananas and strawberries he'd just dowsed with sugar. "I love you, and goodnight." He smiled, when she embraced him again.

Jack caught his shoulder just as Julian was turning away from Irina, to both Julian and Irina's surprise, looked at the blonde a moment and then pulled him into a hug. He'd begun to care for Julian a great deal over the last year but after tonight, he realized that part of that care was actually love… he was beginning to love the boy who saved Irina in more ways then one. The revelation was startling to him at first, but his smile widened when he realized it, was as it should be. Their relationship was continuing to grow, their bond growing stronger with every day. "Goodnight son." Jack spoke softly over Julian's shoulder while still hugging him, smiling at Irina seeing the raging smile on her face and new tears glittering in her eyes, her hand curled up by her heart.

She couldn't believe how far her family had come, was still coming and seeing Jack embracing Julian like this, a real hug without any awkwardness, like a real father and son… tonight had been very good for them.

Julian was still reeling with shock in Jack's embrace, first with Sydney and now with Jack… he was really being accepted, and felt it… they were really becoming a family. His smile was enormous over Jack's shoulder though no one could see and he quickly toned it down as Jack pulled back, not wanting to show his excitement. Instead, he wore a tight-lipped grin when he stepped back though his excitement and happiness rang true through his clear blue eyes.

"Goodnight." Julian spoke softly as the corner of his mouth continued to rise when he turned around to look at Irina once more and then left.

"I couldn't love you more if I tried." Irina whispered to Jack, taking step back into his arms and smiling radiantly; she palmed his face looking deeply into his eyes.

"I can say the same." He smiled, leaning down to capture her lips.

"Oh… are we interrupting?" Katya snickered softly wearing a smile from the doorway with Marcelo just behind her. They'd been downstairs and had finally decided to head off to bed.

She was so happy for her sister, looking at her standing beside her baby's crib, pregnant, absolutely gorgeous and completely happy while Jack wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind. No one deserved it more then Irina in her mind. With that thought came new tears and she bit her lip trying to hold them back. Tonight had been extremely telling for both sisters. They had already discussed so much since their reunion in Moscow but still so much was left unsaid they realized tonight.

Irina had seen the second her eyes changed and what Katya began thinking and squeezed Jack's forearm slightly to release her and she stepped forward pulling Katya to her. They were holding each other for a moment in silence when Jack and Marcelo shared a silent look and both slipped out of the room, giving the sisters their space.

"I'm so sorry, Rina… I should have told you sooner, so much sooner that I forgave you, that I loved you and missed you terribly." Katya cried softly holding on fiercely, exhausted and feeling heavy with guilt. "I just didn't know how. I felt and still do, feel so guilty for my reaction-"

"_Shhh_." Irina squeezed her more tightly, closing her eyes and bringing one hand up to the back of Katya's neck, pressing her closer to her own head. "There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. We're ok… I love you."

"Please forgive me?" Katya cried softly, pulling back just slightly to kiss her cheek and that holding on tightly once more. "I'm so, so sorry… Please forgive me, Rina? Please?"

"There's nothing to forgive." Irina sighed with fresh tears, quiet a moment before going on, "But I don't want you to feel guilty anymore… I forgive you, sister… I forgive you." She whispered quietly and heard Katya's gasp and felt her squeeze, knowing just how important it was to hear those words. "I love you, Katya… I love you and I missed you terribly too." She laughed softly and pulled back, wiping Katya's tears with a smile.

Lena chose this moment to start cooing in her sleep and immediately after the sound of furious sucking came from her crib making them both laugh. The leaned on the railing watching the sweet baby sucking ferociously on her thumb for a minute before going still again.

Katya reached in and fingered her soft baby curls with a smile, "She's so beautiful. I'm so happy for you, Irina, you deserve this," She reached over grasping her sister's hand with a teary smile, "You deserve all the happiness life has to offer."

* * *

Jack had spent the last ten minutes pondering the events of the evening and what they'd seen in the films, especially his and Irina's sexual liaisons. He shook his head with a soft smile and quiet laugh as he crawled into bed beside her.

"What?" She asked with her own smile, curiously as she adjusted her head lying sideways on her pillow looking at him.

"I think we're both going to have to invest in some of that mental bleach Sydney keeps talking about after tonight… What the hell were we thinking?" He asked with voice raising an octave to emphasize his point, scrubbing his hands over eyes and making her laugh. "Whose idea was it again to let things be told and shown as accurate and truthful as possible anyway? We must have been out of our minds!" He opened up his arms and she snuggled right up next to his side with her head on his shoulder, tucked under his chin. "It hurt like hell but it needed to be done… we made it through a massive field of landmines tonight… and now you know… and I know…exactly what all our lives were like during those twenty years."

Irina sighed, running her hand over his chest and feeling his heart beat beneath her palm. "Yes… it did hurt like hell but you're right… it needed to be done. Instead of spending years working our way through all those potential landmines, we blasted right through them all at once tonight."

He smirked and laughed softly, "In typical fashion for us, especially you… all out or nothing."

"True." Irina laughed softly and he kissed the top of her head.

"I'm astounded by what I learned about you tonight that I didn't know." Jack added after a moment of silence, still amazed by it all.

"As I am of you and how parallel our lives were. How many close calls we had in running into each other again. You were really standing in front of the bank that day when the Wall started coming down?" She asked with a hint of awe in her voice, still in disbelief and shock. "Just across the street from me…"

"Yes, I can't believe it either." He held her tighter. "Watching it answered a lot of questions but it also raised more too." Jack snuggled down into her, wrapping his arms more tightly around her, wanting to hold her as close as possible. "Questions about the details left out that I'm sure I will think of at random over the next several years." He spoke and his lips pressed against her forehead.

"And when they do, feel free to ask away… because I feel the same way, about the answering of questions yet raising more." She twirled her fingertip lightly over his chest, unconsciously drawing a heart.

"I can think of one glaring question right now that I wanted to ask you about the moment it came up-" Jack asked, immediately remembering one very important question he'd wanted to ask.

"Why I never told you I'd come back when Sydney was fourteen?" She knew immediately what he was going to ask.

"Yes… Why did you never tell me?" Jack asked with a bit of sadness in his voice, speaking softly. He understood why she hadn't before, she didn't trust him, but things were different now, they were different.

"I don't know… I guess… I was ashamed and scared…" Irina sighed, admitting quietly what she knew was the truth.

"Ashamed and scared of what?" His breath was a whisper across her ear; her fingers were nervously playing with his own.

"Ashamed because I didn't reach out to her, that I was not two hundred feet from this house and yet, I left again… and scared for those exact same reasons… that you'd be angry, hurt and upset when you found out I'd been here and walked away… again."

Seeing that moment on the screen tonight she felt the sting in her heart about that decision but she also strongly believed at the time, and still did, that it was the right decision even if painful, the only decision she could have made that wouldn't further devastate her daughter's life.

"I'm not angry." His lips kissed the spot just before her ear and then rolled her over to look into her eyes. "I'm not hurt. I'm not upset." His fingers were brushing lightly over the skin of her cheeks as he spoke, "I'm… I don't know what I am actually but its none of the above. I understand… why you felt you had to walk away again… you thought I hated you…" He saw her confirmation to that assumption in her tearing eyes, "That I would have turned you in and had you executed… and without knowing what I do now, I would have probably turned you in… had you executed…" He swallowed hard ashamed at his own actions in the past, "Because I wouldn't have let you explain anything, making rash decisions that would have changed our lives forever… we wouldn't have this, now, with you here back in my arms." He dropped his lips to hers, letting it linger and Irina moved one hand up to hold him there, needing that extra second of connection.

"I was ashamed of who I was more then anything… and who I wasn't…" Irina spoke softly blinking back tears when he pulled back and rested over her on one bent elbow and the other arm draped over her body, twirling her hair and touching her skin.

"Seeing that Sydney was happy and healthy, growing up beautifully… I knew she'd be ok and I didn't want to rip her life apart once more with my reappearance… and… I was scared of her rejection." The tears she had been trying to blink back escaped and a lone tear marked her cheek with the pain of the past. "I had no idea you never told her the truth about me… and I'd already lost you," Her fingers reached up to cup his face, running her thumb over his cheek and staring intently into his eyes, "What I mean is… in the sense that you had turned your love to hate… I couldn't lose her too, couldn't stand the thought of my daughter hating me… hating me for leaving, hating me for coming back, hating me because my name was a lie." Her voice took on an almost desperate plea as it faded away and she blinked hard, more tears escaping as she tried to get control of her emotions. "In my mind," Her voice was shaky as she began again, "It was best if I just stayed dead… and besides, she had you." She gave him a weak smile and Jack returned it though he felt his own guilt surge through his heart knowing Sydney really didn't have him either. "Russia on the other hand, needed help desperately…" She sighed, wiping at her tears.

He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles, his thumb grazing over her wedding rings. They were both quiet a moment with Jack simply staring at her fingers while he played with them in thought.

Irina broke him out of his thoughts when she ran her hand through his hair with fingers coming around and sliding along the underside of his jaw until he was looking at her.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked softly with loving concerned eyes.

He tilted his face into her palm slightly and grasped her fingers more tightly in the other, "Just that… to find out you came back after everything you went through and 'risked' for us… to come back just to see her… its just… I'm in awe." He'd stumbled with his words relaying just how baffled and awed he was. "You are more courageous and brave then anyone I've ever met." His eyes bore into hers with seriousness before breaking into the smile she loved, "Sydney gets that from you…" His lips dropped to hers with a quick kiss.

"With the fall of the Soviet Union, the KGB were no longer a risk to me or to you and Sydney… the only 'risk' of my coming back into this country… was you." Her fingers brushed over his cheek once more, as she spoke in a voice no louder then a whisper; both knew it to be the truth. "So you're not upset with me? That I didn't tell you I'd come back?" She asked quietly after a moment when he didn't say anything, lost in thought again obviously about 'him' being the only real 'risk' of her coming back.

"No. Of course I'm not mad at you." Jack gave her a small smile, looking down at her beautiful face before dropping another kiss to her lips, "I love you." He brushed his nose with hers speaking in a whisper, and pulling back to hold her eyes with his own, "I love you, Irina." He resounded remembering his earlier thoughts on what it must have felt like for her, to hear him declare his love to her, using the wrong name.

She smiled in turn and once again brought his mouth back to hers for a longer kiss. "As I love you." Irina smiled but her eyebrows knit curiously when she saw the strange look in his eye. She didn't need to ask the question as Jack saw it in her eyes.

"I was just thinking about, during the film I realized, I've never asked you, how you felt about it." His voice died away as his eyes almost looked away in shame and her fingers under his chin brought them back to hers with more question and concern.

"It?" Irina asked confused as to what he was speaking of exactly.

"How you felt… when I'd say, 'I love you' and use your 'name'… your alias… 'Laura?'" He asked cautiously, regretting that he'd ever brought it up when he saw the flash of hurt in her deep brown eyes, glittering with moisture and still puffy from all the crying she'd done previously in the night. "I'm sorry." He immediately apologized for bringing up something else that obviously still hurt after a night of so many and mostly, for calling her the wrong name even if he wasn't at fault.

"No don't, you don't owe me any apology for that," Irina choked on the emotion in her voice, shaking her head, thinking about giving voice to a hurt she'd carried for so many years.

"I know it hurt you. I can see it in your eyes." He spoke softly with a voice tinged in sadness, hating that he never asked this before, never realized how much this must have hurt, before. "Please be honest with me."

"Yes… it did hurt me then, every time you'd say 'I love you' and add 'Laura' to the end but only for a moment." She quickly added seeing the hurt reflected in his own eyes. "It hurt because it reminded me, '_me_," She captured his face with her hands and forced him to look at her, "That I was living this life as a lie with you, even if I was being as truthful as I could… our life, our love… your love for '_me_'… was still tainted with this lie. You were giving me everything of you and I hated that I had to hold back part of me. The '_I love yous'_ were for me, Irina because you just loved, '_me_." She spoke each of the last words slowly, accentuating her name and emphasizing her feelings on being loved for the woman behind the alias. "Does that make any sense?" She asked desperately feeling like it was all a jumble now that she was verbalizing it and not waiting for his answer before further trying to explain, "The '_I love you, Laura_-"

"Hurt because it reminded you of the lie...your 'job." Jack finished for her, understanding her reasoning and Irina nodded sadly.

"Yes, but, Jack," She wrapped her hands around his, holding them close and staring in his eyes, "That hurt was gone in a flash… usually," She couldn't lie to herself or him, there were times that hurt lingered, haunted her… the lie, her lie. "Because I knew you did love me…'Irina,' you just didn't know it." She gave him a sad, small smile, which he returned.

"I am sorry, that regardless of fault, I hurt you even for the briefest of moments. I'm sorry, Irina." He apologized, kissing her hands covering his with apologetic eyes.

"I'm sorry, too. That I wasn't able to tell you then." She paused, finding his eyes, "I love you, Jack." Her eyes bore deeply into his once more, showing him her soul and allowing him to see just how much.

"I love you, Irina… I always have, I always will." He smiled, speaking softly and knowing just that. He'd always loved the same woman, regardless of the alias or lie surrounding her mission. The names, occupations and backgrounds may have been different, but their souls and hearts had always been the same, and that is what he fell in love with.

"The reminding of the lie, of your job… is that why you'd never let me talk about work when we were on vacation? Or never asked me about work? Only spoke with me about it, when I brought it up?" He asked quietly, needing to hear the confirmation he already knew in his heart.

For years he'd wrestled with the reasons why she hadn't wanted to talk about work, if that was the reason she was in his life in the first place. If that was her job, and he was only her target… then why wouldn't she have jumped on every opportunity to get information out of him?

His heart would tell him it was because it wasn't all a lie, that she had loved him, that what they shared was real… his brain would say it was just a masterful manipulation, leading him to believe she wanted him, and only him alone without work so he'd foolishly trust her more, fall deeper for her.

"Yes… because if you were working, I was working." She admitted quietly, running her hand down his chest, and shaking her head softly. "I didn't want to taint our time together with 'mission' objectives. I just wanted 'us." Her eyes scanned his face and noticed his downward glance away from her as he nodded, "You thought it was a manipulation?" She realized.

"Yes…" Jack sighed, running his hand through his hair and looking up to meet her saddened gaze, "My brain kept telling me that it was all part of your master manipulation of me, while my heart fought back that it was proof, it all wasn't a lie… that you did love me and it all wasn't just a 'mission' for you." He swallowed hard while she nodded softly with fresh tears in her eyes, "Separating Laura and Irina was easier that way… could blame Irina for all the pain and remember the love with Laura… God, I was deluded!" He scrubbed his hand over his face, shaking his head in disgust at the thought of her being two separate women.

"No!" Irina caught his hand and cupped his face, "You weren't deluded, you were hurt, you were coping with the betrayal and loss of the woman you loved," Her thumb ran over his cheek, pausing for a minute and looking down. "Whatever we did to survive, it doesn't matter now because we made it. We're here, together. That's all that matters." Her glassy eyes finally looked back up to his and immediately, his lips descended on hers once more in a fiery, desperate kiss that only broke apart with Irina's soft gasp of breath when she felt the sharp little kick in her abdomen that made them both smile and laugh when she moved their joined hands over the spot, feeling it again.

"He's got quite the powerful legs." Irina laughed, when her whole stomach jumped with the baby's next kick. "That's a good sign." She turned her radiant smile to Jack who also saw the worry of a mother for her children behind that smile.

"I've no doubt in my mind," Jack brushed her hair behind her ear, smiling and then cupping her face briefly, "That they will be just as strong as their mother. They're going to be ok, Irina." He added softly, trying to reassure her, and himself with a smile.

"I know." She gave him another smile and smoothed her hand around the curve of her ever-growing belly as she sat up and Jack sat back. "I can't wait to see them, hold them in my arms but at the same time, I want to keep them here," Her arms circled her belly, Jack's hand now running softly over the top, "Protected." She sighed heavily and looked up at him with a smile, "Ridiculous and impossible, I know."

"Its not ridiculous to want to protect them," He smoothed his own hand over the top curve and bent to brush it with a kiss, "You're their mother, I can think of no other place that is more safe for them… then with you." He gave her a smile, moving his head up to kiss her lips once more, never getting enough of her. "Impossible? Yes." He laughed, making her smile widen.

Jack knew she was worried about the fact, that as soon as Nicholas was born, he'd no longer be protected from the dangers of hemophilia in the outside world, as he was in her body.

"You're very lucky, My Little Loves… to have this fierce, loving, courageous tigress," He whispered into her belly, kissing it softly with each descriptive word, "As your mother." He pulled back with a smile holding Irina's loving gaze.

"Thank you." She smiled, loving this man more with every heartbeat and kissed his lips gently.

He bent back over, placing his ear over the top of her belly as Irina ran her fingers through his hair, and he listened to and felt the movements of the babies as well as her own thundering heartbeat. "And just so we continue being honest and clear here…" He spoke moments later and the sound reverberated through her body. "I was insanely jealous, watching your onscreen 'you,' with other men." He felt secure enough to say that, with his head on her belly, pregnant with his children, lying in their bed with her hands raking through his hair and it even brought a little smile to his lips that he could actually admit that.

"Likewise." Irina answered immediately, "When I wasn't crying I was thinking of ways to kill those women slowly." She cocked an eyebrow and sighed heavily.

Jack was laughing and stopped suddenly when he realized she was entirely serious. "Irina…" He bolted upright, starting to worry.

"Don't worry, Jack. I won't go after any of them." She smiled, giving him a naughty grin, "Remember, I made a promise to God not to kill anymore?"

"Yes, but its that part about you 'never promising anything about not 'inflicting debilitating damage' that concerns me." He repeated her exact words to Kendall that morning in the kitchen, giving her an arched eyebrow of his own and making her laugh; though he was entirely serious.

Irina started to say something but stopped and kept laughing seeing the true worry in his eyes, "I promise, Sweetheart, I won't inflict debilitating damage on any of your former lovers… though all bets are off if they come after you again." She gave him her famous eyebrow and devilish smile kissing him and biting his lower lip with her teeth, taunting him as she slowly pulled away.

"Ok," He smiled, laughing with her, "I promise not to go after anyone of your lov-…" He didn't like that word, 'lovers,' and changed it. "The men you were with either, though all bets are off if they come after you again, as well." He smirked at her accepting her playful challenge as he scooted around behind her, leaning back against the headboard and pulling her back against him, arms around her and face pressed into her neck, kissing her below her ear as they entwined their arms over and around her belly.

"Well… they're all dead with the exception of Dubey and you've nothing to worry about from him. He knows where my heart lies." Irina moved his hand to cover her belly, feeling the babies kicking inside with a smile, before turning slightly in his arms, looking into his eyes, speaking softly, "And in his own words, 'I'd never carry the child… have the child of just any man, only the one who held my heart." Her accent was thick from emotion as she spoke softly to him, faces only inches a part and placed her palm over his chest, feeling the pounding beneath. "And certainly not two at a time." She added in a serious tone before smiling widely and laughing when he did in reference to having twins.

Jack shook his head, laughing with her and leaned over, capturing her lips. "Which is why I'm no longer insanely jealous of him."

"And he's jealous of you instead." She added seriously, barely above a whisper thinking of Dubey's earlier comments. Jack had her body, her heart and she was having his babies, yet again.

"A fact, I can't help but be happy about." He gave her a small smile, getting one in return. "In all seriousness, I may not like the guy, but I don't hate him either. As much as I hate the fact that you met him in Africa and that's where it all began," He paused taking a deep breath and sighing while tears began building in her eyes, "And as much as I hate to admit this, in the end, I was glad he was there." He answered with begrudging honesty; thankful the man was there to save her life and be there for her over the years as well went unspoken though they both knew it was implied. "To let the maggots live in your leg for a couple of days eating the infection and rotting flesh." He added quickly with a smirk trying to lighten the mood seeing her tears and kissed her forehead.

Irina rolled her eyes with a smile, hitting his chest playfully and laughing with him.

"You have to admit, that was pretty disgusting even if it's probably what saved your life." Jack smiled, leaning back and turning her around once more, arms tangling and legs as well.

"Yes. I agree." She smiled, "And I'm quite thankful that I don't remember any of it and if I'd not been so delirious or unconscious then, I don't think I'd been able to just lay there while I was consciously aware of the fact hundreds of insect worms were in my leg, eating my flesh, watching them as they did so." She paused in her rapid ramble, smiling softly that was forced and fell with the tone of her voice, "I'm sure that would have added a whole other element to my nightmares that I'd rather live without." Her mind flashed to images she'd seen and screamed awake from many times in her life over the last twenty years; a mixture of many things.

* * *

"So what was it that you said you'd tell me later?" Vaughn asked climbing into bed and rolling over on his side, propping his head up on his bent elbow. "Are you ok?" He asked softly, brushing his finger over Sydney's cheek just beneath her swelling red eyes.

"Yeah, I'm ok, just a wild ride of emotions tonight." She gave him a small smile and leaned in to kiss him before they both settled onto the pillows facing each other. "The time span that was covered, the events that took place… starting with my Mom being released from prison and this empty shell-robot person," She struggled to find words to describe the mechanical movements of her mother in the first part of the film and new tears came to her eyes remembering the image of her mother running in Moscow, past the children without flinching and into the crowded communal apartment complex and then methodically assassinating someone trying to defect. "Then breaking down with Julian, how your grandmother is what finally got through to her, saved her."

"You saved her." Vaughn added softly with a small smile, wiping a fallen tear running over her nose and remembering the conversation between his grandmother and Irina.

"And Julian, too." Sydney sniffed, adding in almost a whisper, realizing his role in keeping her… their mother alive. "He was part of her need to survive. That's what I was going to tell you." She smiled, thinking about her mother's words to her father. "You know when my Mom told Dubey in her office her reason for not wearing Kevlar?"

"Yeah, because she said it didn't 'work if you're already dead." Vaughn swallowed hard, recalling that heartbreaking thought.

"Yes. My father and I were horrified of course, which was why I was crying, she'd said she was hoping to walk into situations and be killed, physically as she already felt herself to be dead without a reason to live. My mom turned to my dad, obviously sensing his distress over that reveal," She sniffed and wiped at another falling tear, "She asked him why he thought she started wearing Kevlar again after Moscow and told him, it was because she had a reason to care again, a reason to care if she lived or died. That she had her heart…" She smiled, blinking back more tears, "Her soul back, she had a reason to want to stay alive… my father… and her children… she had the one thing back that was worth living for again… her family…that's why I was crying and smiling all at once… the enormity of hearing and knowing she'd wanted to die all those years without us… and then to know, it was her love for us, our love for her… that gave her a reason to care about her life again… I just… she was ready to die for me," Her mind flashed to the dagger Conrad gave her mother to commit suicide with, "Its so overwhelming… all of this is so overwhelming." She cried, unable to stop the flow of tears that rained down and Vaughn pulled her close, smoothing her hair over her ear as she settled against his shoulder.

"She loves you, Sydney, very much." He whispered in constant amazement as each new development to the story of Irina revealed just 'how much' she loved Sydney, as he stared at the ceiling in their bedroom. "She'd do anything to protect her child. She's an amazing mother." He sobered, realizing just how wrong he'd been about his mother-in-law in the past.

"Yes, she is." Sydney sniffed with a smile and new tears fell onto Vaughn's chest hoping she'd be half the mother her own was someday.

* * *

_Her skin felt like it was being torn from her body as she huddled into the corner of the room, the cement digging into her raw back as the force of the water pummeled her continuously, choking…gasping for air and feeling her knees buckle as she slid roughly down the wall about to drown from its force and feeling her world go black as she shivered violently-_

Irina bolted upright in bed, panting heavily and soaked with sweat as her body shivered violently recalling the dream…

A flashback to the fire-hose they'd turn on her in solitary as a form of torture… blasting her clothes off with freezing cold water with a force so hard, it felt as though her skin was next to peel from her body. They'd drench her with the icy cold spray until she was about to drown and blacked out then wake her for more…

Now she panted heavily trying to catch her breath with the memory, shivering from the sweat now rapidly turning cold against her skin and she looked over next to her in the moonlight to see Jack still sleeping beside her.

Quietly, she stood with one hand protectively on her belly and found her robe, stopping beside his edge of the bed to drop a light kiss to her husband's cheek with a smile before exiting the room undetected. She slipped into Lena's nursery, smiling softly at her baby still sleeping on her stomach with little bum in the air and thumb in her mouth. "I love you, my Sweet Girl. I love you." She whispered into the dark and pulled the light plush blanket up over Lena's tiny body once more and brushed her hand over her daughter's head before slipping out again.

The tug in her heart to see him won over her hesitation when she came to Julian's door and she quietly turned the knob, opening the door just enough to peer inside. His body lay with a tangled mess of blankets and sheets at his feet, with arm curled up around his head just as he slept as a child. His upper body was bare and the flannel bottoms he wore were bunched up around one knee and Irina couldn't help but smile at how 'cute' he looked. The description she knew would not bode well with his 'tough man' image but all the same, he was still the little boy who'd taken her hand and blew oxygen into the embers still burning inside her of lost love.

Unable to stop herself from the surging motherly care and concern coursing through her veins now, she crept to the side of his bed and slowly pulled the sheet up over him, seeing the slight tremor from cold and goose bumps forming on his flesh. "Sweet dreams, Julian… I love you." She whispered just above his ear and dropped a light kiss to his cheek with a smile, watching as a small one appeared on his face in his sleep with the words obviously penetrating his sleep. Softly, she ran one hand through his curly hair before leaving the room as quietly as she came.

She paused briefly by Sydney's old room, leaning against the doorframe and smiling sadly as she gazed over the empty space, wishing her daughter was inside, under this roof in their home instead of her own with Michael, even if it was for purely selfish reasons. Deciding she wasn't about to go back to sleep anytime soon and feeling her babies squirming about actively awake inside her, she headed downstairs.

From the back of the couch she grabbed a blanket and draped it around her shoulders before sliding out the front door and into the swing on the porch. With one leg curled under the other, pushing off the floorboards with just her toes she swung quietly in the night thinking.

Jack bolted awake moments later with the image of Irina on her knees in the navy blue dress, butcher knife sticking into her abdomen and blood running from her mouth whispering 'Sydney,' in his own nightmarish flashback from what he'd seen on the film. His heart pounding heavily in his chest his eyes immediately turned to the left seeking out Irina and finding her side of the bed empty. His hand ran quickly over the empty space, finding it already cold and flung back the covers, jumping out of bed. If he was having nightmares from what they'd seen, he could only imagine she was as well with most of the horrific things they were being reminded of having happened to her.

Katya hadn't been sleeping either and first heard someone's footsteps, Irina's she realized, softly in the hall making their way down the steps and then the soft click of the front door. She waited all of two minutes, waging a war in her mind as to whether or not she should give her sister space or go to her before slipping out from beneath Marcelo's arm and putting her own robe on. She and Jack both froze when they came face to face on opposite sides of the hallway when they opened their doors.

A similar moment almost a year ago flashed through both their minds when they met in the dark, on the stairs both concerned with Irina's midnight activities and sleepless night. Jack's eyes held the same question as to whether or not, he should go to Irina or give her space.

This time, Katya nodded in the direction downstairs with a smile. "Go to her." She whispered, wrapping her robe more tightly around her chest still smiling when she saw the love light up his eyes for her sister and nodded his thanks, giving her a soft smile before making his way, quickly but quietly down the steps.

As he slipped out the door he caught a brief glance of Irina's profile sitting in the swing in the moonlight before she turned towards him, giving him a small smile and patting the space next to her. Without a word, he joined her on the wooden swinging bench, situating himself as they always did with him in the corner and her lying back against him, her legs and one of his on the swing and his other hanging over the side pushing them while his arms circled her. His lips and cheek rested against her hair, kissing her head softly and sitting quietly for a moment before speaking.

"What are you doing out here?" He pulled the blanket around her bare shoulders more, speaking in whispered tones. "Can't sleep?"

She nodded softly in response.

"Me neither." He admitted linking fingers with hers' and watching her rings sparkle in the light, "I had a nightmare… you too?"

Irina nodded again, still staring out into the dark park across the street where that singular green iron bench still sat, illuminated by a single light and holding her attention.

"What was your nightmare about?" She asked with a thick voice after a moment, realizing that Jack didn't have many nightmares, that she knew of at least and feeling as though it probably had something to do with what they'd seen in the film, like her own.

"Berlin… the first assassination attempt on your life." He hugged her tighter to his chest, kissing her head once more as he felt a shiver run through him at how close he was to losing her seeing the flashes of her looking so beautiful that night, and the horrific bright red blood slashing through the image and pouring from her mouth as she spoke their daughter's name.

"Hmm." Irina nodded softly, picking up his hand and kissing his knuckles to reassure him, she was all right, still here and in his arms. He'd told her he was most scared to find out about what she'd survived in the twenty years they were separated and apparently, that fear was true as now he was having nightmares about it. "I used to have that one a lot… especially in the months after… until I found him." 'And ended it,' went unspoken as she ran her hand over her belly's mound for comfort.

"And tonight?" His hand joined hers caressing the kicking babies beneath as they swing quietly in the night.

"Kashmir." She spoke softly with eyes still holding fast to the empty green bench and Jack flinched internally, remembering what they'd seen tonight. "The fire-hose they used to turn on me to torture me in solitary… blast me until they almost drown me and I'd finally black out…"

Her voice was barely above a whisper and he nudged his head down closer to hers, nodding softly against her head with his cheek remembering the horrid image onscreen of the thing she was describing now. What transpired after they did this to her in the film, made his stomach pitch and roll. That she could show the world such torture done to her… took courage and bravery he couldn't imagine.

She knew what he was thinking, what they were both thinking and shifted focus giving verbalization to her own thoughts just before he came out, "Look at how close I was… so close to being 'home." She spoke and at first he was confused not seeing her line of sight but like some beam of heavenly light guiding the Wise Men to Bethlehem, the park light illuminated the bench across the street and he knew what had held her attention.

There was marvel, disbelief and awe laced through her voice and he felt it too, when he stared at the iron marker across the way where she'd sat seeing Sydney that day more then a decade ago.

"So close…" His own voice echoed shaking his head and then smiled, moving down to kiss her cheek, "But so much closer now." He squeezed her gently in his arms and laughed softly when she did lightening the somber subject for a moment.

"Thank you for letting me _'come home_,' Jack." She added quietly after a moment.

"It wasn't a home without you." He sobered quickly, holding her tighter and kissing her head again, closing his eyes and breathing deeply, thankful to have her in his arms again.


	23. Chapter 23

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat):**_ _**Never Grow Old **_**by The Cranberries,**_** Mother, We Just Can't Get Enough **_**by the New Radicals**

* * *

TWENTY-THREE

o

***Never Grow Old***

"_Dad-dy!_" Lena exclaimed with her tiny, high-pitched voice, rising on the last syllable, clapping and giggling proud of herself as she sat back on her knees between her parents.

"Peanut!" Jack bolted upright in bed, scaring Irina awake and into the same position wearing the same stunned expression at seeing their daughter awake, giggling and in bed with them. "How in the world-" He stared at her smiling face, scrubbing his hand over his eyes then smiling while he watched her crawl over to her mother making happy gurgling babble noises. She promptly stood, pulling herself up on Irina's nightgown and held onto her mother's neck with the same smile… giving Irina a big wet kiss as she did every morning.

"Julian must have let her out…" Irina summarized kissing her baby then looking at her, then Jack and the open door. It was the most logical conclusion.

"And put her in bed with us?" Jack asked with a smile, still astonished and jumped out of bed, disappearing into the hallway and breaking into laughter from wherever he'd gone.

"What? What's so funny?" Irina asked as Jack came back through the door still laughing.

"Escaping apparently runs in the family. Julian's door is still closed so I looked in the nursery and just as I suspected, she'd pushed all her toys into the corner and must have climbed out and then into bed with us." He laughed, reaching for Lena who went willingly to her Daddy, greeting him with the same snuggly hug into his neck as she did every morning. "Alright you little Houdini, show us what you can do." He waited for Irina to get out of bed and the three of them went into the nursery where he set Lena back in her crib. She gave them both a stern slanted Derevko eyebrow, obviously not happy about being 'put back' and promptly headed to the corner, where as suspected, began climbing her way up her stuffed animals.

Jack and Irina took a step back, watching the determination on her face as she pulled herself out of the crib and their breath hitched, jumping forward with arms out a second later prepared to catch her but Lena held on just as Sydney did… then dropped to the ground… landing on her padded diapered bum with a soft thud and immediately started clapping after the initial surprise wore off her shocked face.

"Just like Sydney." Irina gasped, laughing softly with tears in her eyes while they watched Lena get up and quickly waddle on her tiny legs out the door towards their room once more with her parents hot on her heels.

Sure enough, she grabbed the sheets on the end of the bed, then bed frame and pulled herself completely up with her strong little arms, making tiny 'umph' noises as she grunted from the exertion and sending both her parents into laughter once more. She rolled over and smiled her big toothy grin, clapping for herself once more and Jack and Irina applauded as well.

"You know this is only encouraging her." Irina laughed, returning to bed with Jack and snatching her baby, dousing her with kisses and tickles making Lena squeal with peels of giggles.

"Its genetic obviously… the need and ability to escape… we can't fight it so we might as well applaud it." Jack laughed, joining her in tickling their baby. "Happy Birthday, Peanut." He leaned over, kissing her neck and making her laugh while she clasped his cheeks with her hands.

"I can't believe she's already a year old." Irina's tears started immediately with the thought of what today was. "It goes by too fast." She picked up Lena, crushing her to her chest and planting a million more kisses all over her face and neck with a teary smile. "Too fast." She smiled over Lena's little head to Jack with tears streaming down her cheeks seeing his own watery eyes wearing a smile and nodding along. So many emotions were involved with this day…first loss then life and he knew they were crying for both.

* * *

Irina finished unpacking the last grocery bag, and putting the birthday cake for Lena on the counter for the party later that evening while Sydney dug around in the fridge with Lena on her hip. She located the objects of her stomach's desire and smiled widely, as she kicked the door shut softly with her foot.

"I can't find the bag with the candle and balloons. Have you seen it?" Irina searched the empty paper bags looking for the lost items with knit eyebrows. Loosing the most important item for the cake of her child's first birthday party was just unacceptable.

"I think its still in the car." Sydney answered, retrieving a plate and started picking slices out of the bowl with her fork, stopping her thought to take a bite of the sweet fruit. "I saw it on the floor of the front passenger seat, I think." She covered her mouth while continuing to chew and speak, bouncing Lena up higher on her hip as she picked at another piece and Irina turned to face her.

"Sydney Anne Ivanova Romanova Bristowova Vontonavich!" Irina called out in her very motherly tone, hand on hip and tapping her other hands fingers against the counter top, staring at the object on the end of the fork. "You are eating all my mangoes!"

"Sorry. I've been craving them like craz_—y_." Her eyes flew wide as did her mother's in the same moment.

"_Oh dear God_." They both whispered at the same time and Sydney dropped the fork and fruit, Lena's eyes dropping to the floor and pointing with her little finger to the ground saying, "_Da_."

"Sydney," Irina spoke softly, removing her hand from her mouth and forcing her legs to walk towards her daughter's; one who had suddenly gone as white as a ghost and the other she saw slipping down her side with Sydney's slackening grip. She took her youngest before Sydney dropped her and placed her palm against her ashen daughter's face. "Sydney?" She repeated trying to gain her attention and smiling through already building tears while Lena mimicked her mother's motions, placing her own palm against Sydney's other cheek.

"I…I…I… Mom," She finally gasped, looking at Lena, then her mother, then her mother's pregnant belly and back up with wide eyes. "Is this possible?" Sydney asked in disbelief.

"I don't know, you tell me?" Irina giggled at her daughter's state of disbelief, running her thumb over Sydney's cheek just starting to regain its pink color. "When was your last period?"

"June… before the wedding… stress, you know… amenorrhea… I've had it basically since I joined the world of espionage," She answered slowly, still in shock it could be possible. "Mom, I don't know!" Sydney suddenly squealed in an almost panicked voice with heart pounding loudly in her chest. "I think I am but I don't know! I mean I feel I am and all this weird stuff has been going on that I haven't thought about until now like all these cravings and eating more then getting up to pee at night and hot then cold and my boobs are sore and I have gained weight, just a couple of pounds but I just thought it was because we quit the CIA and, and now, it seems to make sense but I don't know!" She rattled out without taking a breath.

"Sweetheart, calm down." Irina smiled grasping Sydney's chin with her fingers and forcing her to look at her, "Take a deep breath before you pass out." She smiled wider when Sydney took a loud deep breath and Lena did the same, exaggerating and mimicking the sister she adored. "Now, let's not panic here. You're probably right. If you feel like you're pregnant, you probably are. You know your body better than anyone else, but let's find out for certain. Ok?"

Sydney nodded, afraid to speak but eyes remained wide and only grew wider when she saw her father followed by Vaughn, Julian and Weiss come through the door carrying various items for the party.

"What's going on?" Jack asked, taking note of the position he found them in and the look on Sydney's face of absolute panic.

"Nothing. We have to go to the store." Irina smiled tightly, grabbing her stone still daughter by the hand and pulling her towards the door as the men parted like the Red Sea for them.

"You were just at the store." Jack answered, turning on his heel watching as his wife practically drug their daughter out the door with the other on her hip.

"We have to go back, Jack! Ok!" She snapped at him and they all froze in astonishment at seeing her temporary loss of control over something so trivial, "Just… fill the balloons and we'll be back in a little while."

"_O-kay_… where are they?" Jack asked cautiously watching as she grabbed her key from the table by the door bewildered by her outburst.

"_Arrrgh!_" Irina sighed in frustration, she did not need to answer twenty questions in the middle of what was most likely a life changing moment for her daughter, for them all. "In the car! You!" She pointed at Weiss who jumped a little, startled, "Follow us out and I'll give them to you."

"Yes ma'am." He quickly snapped to and followed them out the door, returning a moment later, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it. Vaughn, Julian and Jack remained glued to the floor where he'd left them. "What in the hell was that?" He finally asked, looking to Jack for answers.

"I have no idea." Jack stare at the door, "Probably just-"

"_Hormones_." They all chimed in together, sharing a glance and then laughing.

"Ok… I need a beer, what's on tap for tonight, Panama Jack Daddy?" Weiss slapped Jack on the back laughing, then harder when Jack flashed a glare at him. "Sorry Jack, that glare of yours isn't as powerful as it once was… remember, I've seen your 'softer' side." He burst out laughing, as did Vaughn and Julian and finally Jack joined in.

* * *

Irina left Sydney in the car with Lena, seeing as how her first born was incapacitated with shock, and went inside by herself.

The teenage girl behind the counter smacking her gum gave her a weird, long once over glance, holding the pregnancy test, looking at it and then back to Irina's obviously pregnant form once again.

"No offense lady, but I don't think you need to bother with this test, I think its pretty clear you're pregnant." She offered her own sage advice and Irina tried hard not to roll her eyes or lose her patience with the young woman. "Wait… Aren't you?" The identity of the pregnant woman before her was slowly dawning on her and then snapped her gum with a loud pop and wide eyes when they flashed from the magazine cover behind Irina's head, featuring her photo from the premiere, to the woman in front of her. "Oh my God… you're her." She gasped and the lady behind Irina in line dropping off a prescription, nodded with wide sarcastic eyes as if to say, 'Duh!' Having realized whom she was the moment she saw Irina get out of the SUV in the parking lot followed by a black sedan and burly looking men with weapons surrounding the perimeter of the little store.

"Yes… can I just please have the item now?" Irina slid a crisp one hundred dollar bill across the counter not liking the idea of drawing everyone in the store's attention.

"But I don't get it. I thought you already announced you were pregnant with twins to the world?" The girl asked resuming her smacking of her gum and holding the pregnancy test hostage.

"Yes, I did." Irina plastered on a sweet smile even though her eyes were murderous.

"Then why-" The girl began to ask again when the woman behind Irina interceded.

"That's personal information that I don't believe is necessary for you to know. Do you ask everyone why they buy what they buy or why they take a certain prescription? No." She didn't wait for the answer and continued, "You don't so please, just ring her up and let her go. Its no one's business." She gave a stern smile to the clueless clerk and turned a genuine one to a stunned Irina.

The clerk was equally stunned and scanned the pregnancy test box, slipping it into the little bag and began hitting the numbers on her register with unnecessary roughness opening the drawer to get Irina's change.

"Just keep the change. Thank you." Irina smiled at the girl, quickly taking the bag and smiling back at the woman who'd saved her from 'severely debilitating' the annoyingly nosey young woman.

"That's like $85?" The stunned young woman called out, holding the change in her outstretched hand as Irina began walking away.

"That's ok." Irina smiled, nodding before making her way to the front of the store.

"That was nice of her." The woman who'd helped Irina smiled at the clerk, dropping her prescription in the bin.

"Well she is worth, like what? $400+ billion dollars?" The woman behind her giggled, "That's pocket change, literally, for her. She gives money away all the time... or so I've heard and read."

"Congratulations." The woman who'd helped Irina had caught up with her in the parking lot and Irina paused briefly to look at the woman. "I saw your daughter in the car when you came in… at first I thought she might be sick seeing the stricken look on her face staring out the window and, hence you here," She pointed to their surroundings with a smile, "At the pharmacy, but now I realize… well, your secret or should I say, the Grand Duchess Sydney's secret is safe with me, Your Majesty." She smiled giving Irina a slight bow as she walked to her own car. "And Happy Birthday to the Tsarevicha!"

Before Irina could thank her or even reply, the woman was in her car and driving away. Irina shook her head with a smile and only hoped the rest of the people in the pharmacy didn't figure out what was obviously going on and if they did, kept it to themselves, which wasn't to be likely in this town.

* * *

"Here." Irina handed a still stunned Sydney the little pregnancy stick from the box now that they were upstairs, at home and standing in her master bathroom. "I'll wait for you out there." She shifted Lena on her own hip, the three of them breezing into the house and up the stairs just as quickly as they exited with even less of an explanation then they had before.

"What do I do?" Sydney looked from the stick to her mother and back again, terrified and going pale once more. "What if I do it wrong and mess it up?"

"Sweetheart… they make these things so people are incapable of messing them up." Irina almost laughed if not for feeling her own nervousness fluttering around inside her with the prospect. "You can disarm nuclear warheads. I have faith you can take a pregnancy test." She did giggle slightly at that and turned Sydney around, kissing her cheek and hugging her briefly before leaving her alone. "It will be ok, Sweetheart… and I'll be right here to wait with you."

"Has it been three minutes yet?" Sydney fidgeted nervously on the edge of the bed, standing and then pacing with arms crossed over her body.

"Almost." Irina smiled, looking at her watch and then to Lena who was clamoring to get Sydney to pick her up which she did. "Ok… time's up." Irina sighed heavily with a smile. "Go ahead."

"No… I can't do it… Can you… please, Mom." Sydney spun on her heel with an almost pleading tone to her voice.

"Are you sure?" Irina asked, feeling choked up at sharing in such a moment.

"Yes, of course. Please, Mommy?" Sydney begged, and the use of 'Mommy' cut straight into Irina's heart, making her smile.

"Ok." Irina went into the bathroom to retrieve the stick and saw the answer to the looming question before she ever reached it.

With trembling hands, instant tears flooded eyes she picked it up as though it were the most precious gift, turning around and found Sydney with Lena waiting anxiously in the doorway.

"Congratulations, Sweetheart, you're pregnant." She sucked in a sharp breath before the dam burst and the tears flooded down her cheeks. "My baby's having a baby!" Irina cried, handing the stick to Sydney who stood completely still until Irina threw her arms around her daughters and they all cried, Irina and Sydney from happiness and Lena because she was scared that they were crying."Oh, my Sweet Girl, don't cry." Irina took her from Sydney with a smile through her tears trying to calm her down as she rocked back and forth, holding her close and kissing her head speaking softly in Russian to soothe her. "We're just happy! Your big sister is having a baby! She's going to be a Mama!"

More tears sprang forth as Irina eyed Sydney and cupped her face with her free hand while Sydney stared at the double blue line on the stick, "You're going to be an aunt, Lena! And you're going to be a grandma…" Sydney looked up, smiling in disbelief but extremely happy, then laughed at the realization of that statement as she placed her own hands on her mother's pregnant belly. "Mom… we're both pregnant… that's just… wow." Sydney shook her head with tears running from her eyes, bounced on her heels then flung her arms around her mother laughing with happiness.

"Yes… wow." Irina laughed, putting Sydney's hair behind her ears and handing her a tissue while dabbing her own eyes. "Are you going to tell Michael, right now?"

"No." Sydney answered immediately, "Its Lena's first birthday… it's her day." She reached out, brushing her sister's cheek with a smile and Irina saw it, the new look in her eldest daughters eyes that hadn't been there before. The look that screamed of internal joy knowing you're carrying a life inside you, a life you created and you cannot look at a baby or any child the same way again. She saw this in Sydney as she looked at Lena now.

"Lena's birthday!" Sydney laughed, throwing her head back and clapping her hands together giggling uncontrollably. "Another 'special occasion." She realized and Irina laughed with her. "Mom," Sydney addressed her, grabbing her hand and sobering after a few minutes, remembering what other occasion this day represented in their lives.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" Irina smiled, wiping at the new tears she already felt building there just looking at the instant glow around Sydney as she radiated happiness.

"I love you… to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth… I love you, forever and always." Sydney recited, on the verge of sobbing before she finished, once again flinging her arms tightly around her mother's neck. "I missed you so much."

"I know baby, I missed you too." Irina clung just as fiercely, mindful not to squish Lena between them as her own tears burned her eyes and cheeks, both thinking of that painful day when they said 'goodbye' all those years ago. "I love you, Sydney… and I promise, I'm not going anywhere ever again. I'm here." She resounded the words that would probably never be said enough to fully sink in and absolve the hurt, the fear and the pain that twenty years separation created in both of them. After all, in terms of their separation, they'd only been reunited fully for a little over a year, still very fresh and new after aching so long.

Perhaps in another twenty years, the ache over those lost years would lessen as more memories were made with time spent together, as mother and daughter, the way it should be.

Sydney's hold on her mother only tightened with her promise of never leaving again, and reminder she was 'here.' Her heart had flashed back to the memory of this day in years past when it ached to hold her mother in her arms and be held in return by her while she sat crying beside her grave. The flash of that loss and pain, the ache made Sydney never want to let go and she buried her face in her mother's neck crying.

The emotions of this day were all over the place and she was reminded that it was now a very happy day with Lena's little mouth giving her a slobbery wet kiss to her cheek and making her laugh.

"Oh Lena, I love you!" Sydney grabbed her little sister and squeezed to her chest, tickling her and making her deep little laugh bubble out and incite more laughter from the adults.

* * *

**_*Mother, We Just Can't Get Enough*_**

_"Happy Birthday to you… happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Lena, happy birthday to you!"_

The massive group assembled for her first birthday party sang around her in the backyard where the party was taking place. Lena looked around from her high chair with her own little cake set in front of her, eyes wide looking at all the people and then to the fiery flame before her.

When the song was over and everyone began clapping, Lena clapped too, making them all laugh.

The moment was captured on film by Jack, as Irina helped Lena blow out her candle and another round of applause went up. The proud parents kissed their baby girl and then each other making another thunderous round of applause, hoots and whistles surge through the happy crowd.

"God, I love you…" Jack whispered into Irina's ear, wrapping his arms around her from behind, whispering into her ear feeling an overwhelming sense of love for her, seeing her with their baby, pregnant and so motherly, remembering the events of Lena's birth last year and then laughing.

"She is so damn cute!" Weiss laughed, taking a swig of beer and smiling watching Lena sinking her fingers into her cake and then stuffing the frosting covered hand into her mouth and giggling.

"Yes, she is." Kendall smiled, looking at Lena and then to her happy parents beside her. Irina had never looked more beautiful and happy to him, kneeling next to Lena's high chair while her daughter painted her cheek with frosting and Jack encouraged Lena, laughing.

When Irina swiped frosting down the middle of Jacks' face, everyone broke out into laughter as Lena clapped happily and Kendall shook his head at the happy family and Judy wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I'll never forget the day of her birth as long as I live." Kendall laughed.

"What are you talking about? You were a big chicken and wouldn't go into the room with her, stayed behind the safety of the bullet proof glass." Weiss teased him and Vaughn and Marshall laughed, nodding their heads agreeing and everyone else laughed with them. "I'm the one who was in there holding her hand and breathing through contractions with her-"

"Until you panicked at them checking her progress and you all made me go in after!" Vaughn cut him off laughing.

"I think its funny that the only one who remained in control that day, was the woman in labor." Carrie prodded with a smile, pointedly looking at all the men remembering that day clearly and the frazzled state they were in.

"I can't wait to see this part of the next film." Laura Bush laughed, linking arms with her husband and sharing a smile with Queen Silvia who nodded eagerly, sipping on her champagne. "So much has happened, I can't believe it's only been a year since we first met Lena… and Sydney." Her eyes scanned the two sisters as Sydney helped her little sister paint their father's face with frosting.

Laura shared a knowing glance with her husband as they thought about that night, when a desperate Sydney with a five-day-old Lena broke into their bedroom to save their mother. She squeezed her husband's hand, giving him a smile seeing his flash of sadness at it almost being 'too late' and taking their mother away from them. Turning her eyes she knew he would follow her line of sight back to the happy trio of Lena, Sydney and Irina all smiles and laughs currently kissing Jack all at once with their frosting faces.

"Everything is as it should be." Judy smiled happily, observing the happiness in the Bristow family and sighed, realizing how much it took to get them to this point.

* * *

"_Is the Duchess Sydney pregnant? Is Duchess Sophia pregnant? Are you pregnant?"_ They fired rapid questions thrusting their microphones in her face.

"Bloody hell!" Ash cursed quietly under her breath as she fought her way through the reporters from her limo towards the front porch of the house, thankful when the security agents surrounded her and fended off the paparazzi just arriving. "Jules! Thank God… what's going on around here?" She sighed, throwing her arms around Julian when he opened the door.

Julian's eyes were wide looking over her shoulder and blinking at the bright lights flashing in his face.

"Grand Duke Julian… Are you about to become a father?" A reporter yelled across the security line and Julian whipped his wide eyes to Ash with question.

"No, don't look at me! Julian, I swear it's not me! I'm not pregnant!" Ash desperately tried to diffuse the anxiety she saw in his eyes.

"I've no idea what you're talking about." Julian responded to the press, putting his arm around Ash and ushering her inside.

"Your mother! Her Majesty the Empress was seen at the pharmacy today buying a pregnancy test. Who was it for, Your Highness?" A woman yelled and Julian's eyes bulged again, mouth slightly ajar.

"What's going on?" Irina asked hearing the commotion and the majority of the party in the backyard followed behind her. "Ash!" She smiled widely, engulfing the beautiful young woman and hugging her tightly. "I'm so glad you made it!"

"I almost didn't!" Ash laughed, hugging everyone 'hello,' "The bloody paparazzi outside attacked me with questions about being pregnant. I'm not by the way." She added quickly, squeezing Irina's hand with a smile at seeing her eyes widen and mouth drop open.

"Why would they think you were pregnant?" Vaughn asked smiling, kissing Ash hello and passing Lena to her as Ash made her way around the room.

"Oh no…" Irina gasped, with hand going to her mouth and eyes flashing to Sydney who looked pale again standing in the back of the room.

"What's going on?" Jack asked, once again seeing the strange look on his wife's face.

She didn't have time to respond before Julian walked backwards through the front door and shut it quickly, leaning back against it. "Mama, were you at the pharmacy today?"

"Yes." Irina answered barely above a whisper in a deflated tone, knowing someone in that store had alerted the media.

"I repeat, Irina, what's going on? Are you ok?" Jack was at Irina's side within seconds, one hand on her upper arm and the other on her face, scanning her eyes and looking for any sign she was ill and hadn't told him. "Are you sick? Irina?"

"No, Jack, I'm ok. I promise." She grasped his wrist on the hand on her face with a smile and a collective sigh of relief went around the room.

"The reporters are claiming you bought a pregnancy test today and considering you're already very obviously in that condition," Julian motioned with his eyes and a slight smile to her protruding belly, "They are now questioning which of the Grand Duchesses you were purchasing the item for?"

Julian's eyes flashed from Sophia to Sydney, already knowing which of the two most likely was, considering the events earlier in the day.

"Are you pregnant?" Weiss grabbed Sophia's arms turning her to face him with wide excited eyes. He didn't give her a chance to answer before he picked her up and started spinning her around.

"Eric-" Sophia tried to protest with her own wide eyes but he was too excited.

"It's ok if were not married yet! I love you! You love me! We're going to be a happy family!" He laughed, spinning her around again. "Oh God! We're going to have a baby!"

"Eric!" Sophia hit him in the shoulder, "I'm not pregnant!" She blurted out as the only way to get through to him and then feeling badly when she saw his face fall.

"You're not?" He asked quietly, setting her down and she shook her head 'no,' feeling quite sad now that she saw the sadness in his own eyes.

"I am." Sydney voiced quietly from the back of the room, standing up tall and owning up to the already out of control situation.

A soft collective gasp went round the room and immediate tears sprang to Bella's eyes, her hand to her mouth looking from Sydney to her stunned son with a smile.

"I'm sorry, Vaughn. This wasn't the way I wanted to tell you." Sydney walked slowly forward with tears building in her eyes. "I was going to tell you tonight, after the party, when it was just the two of us. I'm sorry." She stood before him with apologetic eyes and shaking hands.

"You're… pregnant?" Vaughn swallowed hard, his voice thick with emotion as his eyes scanned her body.

"Yes." Sydney nodded scared he wasn't going to be happy and more tears pooled in her eyes. "I just found out today. I was eating Mom's mangoes and everything just went white when it clicked and I thought I was going to pass out and so we went to the store and I was a mess so Mom bought the test and we came home and it was positive and that's all I know." She babbled and Irina couldn't help but smile and cry again, pulling Jack to her side with smile widening when she saw her husband's own blank expression. "I don't know how far along or when I'm due…" Sydney sighed heavily, finally taking a deep breath and wiping at the falling tears on her cheeks.

"My-My!" Lena squealed reaching for Vaughn with her little arms, wanting to be carried around by him once more and breaking the silence of the room. "My-My!" She cried again, bobbing in Ash's arms and reaching forward as far as she could towards him.

Vaughn slowly turned his head toward the babbling baby reaching for him and they watched as a million emotions ran across his face while he slowly extended his arms to take Lena.

She was completely content to be in his arms and smiled widely at him, clasping his cheeks and squeezing them with glee. He finally smiled at her, the happiness of the prospect of being a father soaking in and he turned back to Sydney.

"I'm going to be a father…" He whispered in awe with a big smile and Sydney finally smiled wide, tears blurring her vision but relieved to see his happiness.

She nodded again and he stepped forward, closing the distance and kissing her soundly not caring who was in the room.

"I love you… thank you… thank you."

"I love you too." She cried, smiling and leaning her forehead against his while Lena giggled excitedly to be able to hold onto both her sister and Vaughn.

"_Yay!_" Everyone cheered and clapped with applause, most of the women with tears in their eyes, especially the two grandmother's to be and Mikhail.

Jack stood transfixed looking at his daughter with his own disbelief. She was growing up entirely too fast for his liking having just given her away as a bride and now, finding out she was having a baby of her own.

"You people are busy." Kendall nudged Jack with a wide smile, teasing as he looked from Lena to Irina's belly then Sydney. "You're going to be a new father and a grandfather all in the same year. Congratulations _Grandpa!_" He smiled and then laughed as he slapped Jack on the back seeing the man's evident shock and Judy in turn, nudged him with narrowed eyebrows before she too, cracked a smile in thinking of Jack as a grandfather.

Congratulations started their way around the room first for the happy parents-to-be and then the grandparents in a mass chaos of smiles, hugs, laughter and tears.

"Eric, I'm sorry." Sophia kissed her fiancé lightly on the lips, wrapping her arms around his neck with her face inches from his, feeling the same tiny bit of disappointment that he was now that the subject of their own child prospects had been raised.

"It's ok… it's not your fault I got carried away with the idea. With the Tsar pregnant with twins," He motioned toward Irina using the title he loved, "Lena turning a year old and remembering the day of her birth… I heard someone else was pregnant and it might be you and I just… had a moment of baby fever, I guess." He shrugged with a small smile, still holding her off the ground and to his chest. "We'll have our own someday." He tried to sound reassuring.

"Soon." Sophia whispered so only he could hear, smiling and staring straight into his eyes. The unspoken agreement that they would try for a baby as soon as they were married flashed between their eyes. "That way they'll be the same age as their little cousins." She laughed softly rubbing noses with him and making him giggle that cute giggle she loved.

"Daddy, are you ok?" Sydney took Jack's hand with a small smile, seeing he was staring at a space on the floor for quite some time and not really seeing anything.

Irina waited for his answer as well and when one hadn't come, she casually pinched his butt through his pants pocket where her hand had been residing in the back of his jeans.

"Yes." He answered weakly with a crackle in his voice jumping slightly and throwing a look Irina's way. "I'm fine, Sweetheart. Congratulations." He snapped into action, grabbing her and kissing her cheek before holding her in a close hug. His cheek against her head his eyes met Irina's teary smile over her shoulder and his smile widened. "Wow… so, I'm going to be a grandpa. My daughter pregnant the same time as her mother. My grandchildren… the same age as my youngest." He contemplated the reality out loud while resuming his staring at the spot on the floor.

Sydney and Irina shared a look with Sydney asking her mother the silent question of, _'will he be ok?_' and Irina answering with a smile and sparkle in her eye that said, '_yes, when the shock wears off_.' Then both shared a smile and small laugh.

"I don't mean to put a damper on the congratulatory celebration," Julian gained everyone's attention, "But what about the vultures outside?" His eyebrows rose, nodding toward the door.

"Ju-Ju!" Lena pulled on his pant leg with one hand, the other clutching her favorite yellow bear wearing a smile. He smiled and bent over, picking her up and kissing her neck making her giggle loudly and both Irina and Jack smiled at the bond between the two.

Will stood stricken at the sight. Remembering very vividly the torture this man was capable of and now seeing him so gentle… loving with the baby. Seeing him as nothing but a monster was getting harder the more time he spent in his presence.

"Syd?" Vaughn looked to his wife for the answer, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Mom?" Sydney in turn asked her mother. "What do we do?"

All eyes turned to Irina, the Head of the Imperial Family and the most skilled at dealing with the Press.

"Well… we don't have to tell them anything until you're ready, but they are vultures as Julian said," She gave her son a small smile at his accurate description of the current press on her lawn and felt her trigger finger itching, "And they will circle until they get their story…they will follow you, us, everyone… or, you tell them the truth and promise an official statement or press conference when you know more like how far along are you, when you are due, etcetera." She waved her hand in a circular motion that made quite a few, smile in its regal nature from all the practice at waving to the crowd as the Tsar.

Weiss couldn't help but snicker, as it also resembled the typical motion of the beautiful women on game shows who present the prizes. The thought of Irina as such almost made him double over and had to stop himself from laughing out loud, realizing the seriousness of the conversation.

"Well, I don't want them to start stalking me, us… I guess we'll just tell them the truth. Yes, I'm pregnant and that is all we know for now." Sydney shrugged with a small smile, her inner joy threatening to bubble out the more the reality was sinking in.

"We should still ask them." Marshall prompted Carrie in a whisper.

"No! Not now!" Carrie tried to whisper out of the side of her mouth, clearly agitated.

"Why not?" Marshall asked back, not wanting to give it up.

"Because!" Her voice was rising though she still faced the crowd trying not to acknowledge him.

"Why?" Marshall shot right back. "I think we should."

"Marshall, its not the time to ask them!" She answered much louder then she anticipated and all motion and conversation in the room ceased.

"Ask who, what?" Irina asked with her coy smile tilting her head to the side as everyone waited expectantly and Marshall gulped feeling her inquisitive stare with her powerful dark eyes and Carrie's heated glare.

"Umm… Mrs. Mrs. Bristow… Your Majesty…" He struggled with his words and wiped the sweat already forming on his brow.

"_Irina_,' Marshall." She asked yet again for him to call her by her name when in her home instead of her title, "Go on." She prompted with a smile.

"I, ah," He paused when Carrie nudged him, "We. We would like to ask you and Mr. Bristow something Mrs. Bristow." Marshall finally spit out, still addressing her formally.

"Ask away." Irina smiled, more curious then before and linked her fingers with Jack, leaning against his side.

"Well ah, see what happened was… we went… well I don't really know if you need to know this but see… oh man, see you guys are the reason we met and then stood up for us at the wedding and… and what I… we want to know is…" He was growing more flustered under the stares of everyone in the room.

"What we were going to ask you tonight but clearly its not the right time now," Carrie glared at Marshall again and he offered her a small smile of apology, "Was if you and Mr. Bristow," She gave a small nervous smile to Jack, "Would give us the honor of being our baby's Godparents?"

Another small gasp went around the room with smiles and wide eyes and Marshall shrugged with a guilty look and made a sound that could almost be considered a giggle.

"I'm pregnant… too. I'm so sorry, Sydney, I didn't mean to stomp on your news, I told him it could wait." She flashed another glare at Marshall.

"No! Of course you don't have to apologize! I'm sorry for stomping on your news this evening, Carrie!" Sydney flew to her side with a big smile, hugging her instantly, "Congratulations! I'm so excited for you both! Marshall." She hugged him next and then went back to Carrie. "When are you due?"

"Mid-April." Carrie finally sighed, relieved and happy to have made her announcement. "I'm about four months or so and man it has not been easy hiding it the last month or so." She laughed softly, pointing at the layers of clothing that now, upon close inspection did indeed reveal a baby bump.

"Four months! That means-" Sydney smiled radiantly with her eyes flashing between the newlyweds.

"Yes… on our honeymoon." Carrie smiled shyly speaking quietly and diverting her eyes as if embarrassed. "The first night actually." She whispered only loud enough for Sydney to hear and they both giggled.

"Thank you for that again, Mrs. Bristow." Marshall finally spoke with a smile.

"No thanks necessary, Marshall." Irina stepped forward hugging him and making him turn bright red with the close contact. "Congratulations and of course Jack and I accept the wonderful honor of being your child's Godparents."

Marshall looked quickly to Jack to see his acceptance as well and found Jack wearing a small smile and nodding, stepping forward to shake his hand.

"Congratulations, Marshall."

"Thank you, Mr. Bristow." Marshall felt a sigh of relief run through him as he started accepting the well wishes of others.

"My God! The three of them pregnant all at the same time." Kendall whispered to Jack and the other men standing around them watching the excited women already bouncing with glee with the news and everyone placing their hands on Irina's stomach to feel the babies kicking.

"Perhaps there was something in the CIA's water." Dixon laughed softly, continuing with the whispering and teasing then looking pointedly at Kendall and then to Judy. "Is there some baby news you'd like to share Kendall, considering Judy works there as well?" He laughed more when the other men did seeing the look of panic on Kendall's face.

"Are you sure it isn't 'you?" Kendall recovered his shock with a sly smile, turning it back on Dixon, "Who has something to share considering Director Chase also works at the same establishment… drinks the same water?" His eyes tracked over to Hayden smiling while holding Lena and chatting with Katya, Laura and Ann.

The men burst into laughter seeing the same look of panic flash across Dixon's face at the realization the same could be true in his own case before he broke into a smile and laughed with them.

"Thank you for the lovely party, Godmother," Weiss picked up Irina's hand with a smile, kissing her knuckles and holding it in his hand with a mischievous smile. When her eyes immediately flashed dark into small slits he quickly defended himself even though he knew she was playing with him as everyone else laughed, "Hey, its official now! You're going to be the Godparent of a child… I think that's the only requirement you were missing for the full status." He smiled widely and kissed her hand again.

"Let's go, Don Juan…" Sophia hit him in the arm playfully with a smile to Irina, playing on his own terms of mafia language and twisting it into a better name for what he was really doing, being a flirt. "Thank you for a wonderful party, Aunt Rina." She pushed a now blushing Weiss to the side and hugged her aunt, kissing her cheeks before they left when the party was over.

"No, thank you, Sweetheart!" Irina hugged her niece once more, pushing her hair behind her ears just as she did with her own girls, "I'm so happy that you're here! Coming all the way from Milan."

"Of course I'm here." Sophia smiled over to the baby her fiancé was currently kissing 'goodbye and goodnight' to. "Lena's first birthday… I wouldn't have missed it for anything." She smiled again and kissed her aunts cheeks.

"Thank you, Sophia. Eric." She smiled at them both, "For coming and for the wonderful books. We're going to read them tonight before bed. She loves books. They're perfect."

"Ok, I have to have another kiss goodnight, Godmother." Weiss smiled, with a laugh stepping forward to kiss Irina's cheeks once more while everyone laughed.

"All right, Casanova!" Sophia laughed seeing her fiance blush while the other's continued to laugh, "Let's go!"

The President and First Lady were the next to say their 'goodbye and goodnight' as they needed to be on their way back home as the President had a meeting with the Foreign Aid Commission in the morning and it was a long flight back to Washington.

"Thank you both, so much for coming." Irina and Jack thanked them together. "We're honored to have you as guests and the little red cowboy hat and boots are adorable." Irina smiled, thinking of their gift for Lena. "Thank you."

"We just love her… she's a very special little girl." Laura smiled watching Sydney and Vaughn playing with her before they said goodnight as well and Irina smiled at them proudly.

"Please, don't hesitate to take us up on the offer to come stay with us in Texas or in Washington again, or if you are ever in need of a babysitter with High Security." The President added and everyone laughed knowing that was actually a necessity and making light of the strange reality. "We're your people."

"Thank you, both. You've both been wonderful." Irina felt her eyes getting blurry again and had to blink back tears, cursing that she was so emotional at the drop of a hat when pregnant, "This day wouldn't have been possible if not for you, thank you." She felt Jack's arm go around her shoulders and press a kiss to her head while she wiped at her fallen tear. They all knew what she was referring to and more then a few eyes of the people that heard became wet with emotion.

If the President hadn't given her a pardon, Irina would be dead. She would not be here on this day and the celebration of Lena's first birthday would not have been the same for any of them.

She knew she would never be able to express the gratitude she felt for being given a second chance with her family. She would never stop thanking him and she knew that he would never stop insisting that no thanks were needed. His tight smile and the shake of his head confirmed that.

He kissed both of her cheeks and gave her a hug.

"It was your love for them and theirs for you… that made this day possible." He spoke quietly and then looked over to where Sydney was holding Lena staring at them; Sydney with tears in her eyes and Lena's so big and dark they seemed to be staring straight into Irina's soul, conveying the emotions she felt but was too little to express.

Irina nodded in agreement and felt another tear slip down her face, hugging Laura goodbye and seeing the last of the guests out before going to Sydney and Lena and just holding them silently in a hug for a few minutes. There was nothing that needed to be said to convey what was meant.

Lena even seemed to understand the sanctity of the silence and remained completely calm and quiet between the two, lying on her mother's chest with Sydney wrapped over her from behind to hold on around Irina's neck.

'_It was as if she felt safe in the cocoon they'd created for her_,' Vaughn thought as he watched them with Jack, Julian, Ash, Katya and Marcelo while they pretended to busy themselves with cleaning up from the party.

Julian felt only a twinge of jealously at not being included in the hug though he reminded himself, that he wasn't there to help save Irina like Sydney and Lena had done. He was in prison, because he betrayed her.

Jack saw the brief look of sadness flash across his son's face and gave him a small smile and nod, indicating he wanted to speak to him alone, outside in the backyard.

"She didn't mean to exclude you." Jack spoke softly as he began to untie masses of balloons from the palm tree trunks in the dark back yard while Julian tried to fold the table covers.

"I know." Julian answered feeling awkward and a bit childish for having the feelings of being left out to begin with and even more embarrassed to have it be so obvious, that others picked up on it.

"It's just that… Sydney was the one who took Lena, her 'powerful tool of persuasion," Jack recited breaking into a small smile thinking about it and shaking his head, "and-"

"Broke into the White House and convinced President Bush to save Mama's life and then Lena brought her out of the coma, I know." Julian finished for him in a rush through one breath, clearly agitated as he wadded up the table covers and threw them on the ground in a heap as he huffed and then cursed softly before kicking the grass and sitting on the step to the back porch, looking away, embarrassed. "I know."

Jack had ceased motion a little startled at the outburst. He read the clear emotions being conveyed of agitation and embarrassment while he watched Julian who was now running his hands through his hair resting his head in his hands on his knees.

"What's really wrong? Talk to me." Jack spoke quietly as he tied the balloons on the banister and sat down beside Julian on the step under the porch light.

"I failed her." Julian finally answered after a few moments of silence with Jack waiting him out. "I should have been there to help."

"You couldn't… you were in prison." Jack tried to reason with him quietly, seeing the desperation and guilt he felt at that time for not being able to help Irina in Julian's eyes now.

"Because I betrayed her. I was in prison, because I betrayed her." Julian ran his hand through his hair once more, scrubbed his hand over his face and looked out into the night. "She was always there for me, whenever I needed her, she was there. She never did anything that would warrant me to turn on her and I let my own jealousy for her affections-" He paused without finishing his thought, "I was not thinking clearly, I was so jealous and it nearly destroyed her."

"Irina tends to have that affect on all men at some point in time or another." Jack flashed him a smile when Julian turned to look at him, trying to ease the younger man's regrets, "Including myself." He sobered, scuffing his shoe back and forth over a knot in the wooden step. "In the past, I've had a hard time thinking clearly in any aspect considering Irina." He smiled softly, but turned his attention back to the shoe scuffing, "Jealously, well… I let my own jealousy over her bond with Sydney over-ride my judgment when she first came back and almost had her executed for it." He softly began to admit his own shortcomings with jealousy, "Then I let my jealousy over her relationships in the past cloud my judgment, once more… and I almost lost her again." He paused thinking about Jakarta. "I was wrong. I know that. I've apologized… She forgave me… You need to let it go, and forgive yourself… because she has." He smiled, slapping Julian on the back of his shoulder then giving it a squeeze, pulling him into a semi-hug sitting side by side. "She loves you, Julian… and you can't keep beating yourself up for the times you failed her in the past. God knows, I have to remind myself of that every time I get a reminder of how I failed her… but if I did that, beat myself up every single time I was reminded of the past, then it would be bringing that past I regretted into the here and now… the present… I don't want to do that. I want to leave it there, learn from it and regret it yes, but leave it there."

They both sat with elbows on knees, hunched over and scuffing the steps, side by side.

"There are going to be quite a few things in the next film that I think we're both going to be regretting," Jack spoke after another couple of minutes in silence, "It's where the majority of both our failures with her occur…" He glanced over at Julian who nodded slowly, "When she was in CIA custody and just after. It will make me disgusted in myself to see it, as I'm sure it will you too." The tone of his voice suddenly conveyed a hint of the disgust when he thought about what he'd done to her, "But instead of beating myself up," He sighed heavily and all the self-hatred left his voice, "And distancing myself from her after, feeling guilty for the past and not being there for her then, I'm going to come home and hold her… tell her and show her how much I love her, because I 'have' learned from those past failures." Jack leaned back slightly, crossing his arms over his chest in thought and still slightly in shock from having this conversation with Julian, a real father-son talk that he'd only wished he could have had with his own father. "She doesn't want your guilt or apologies, she doesn't want you to keep feeling badly about the past, just as we don't want her to." He paused while Julian nodded in agreement, "We just want her and she just wants us, in the here, and the now. Loving her now, is all the penance she desires for the crimes of our past."

"That certainly doesn't seem like much of a punishment." Julian smiled and they both laughed softly. "She is so easy to love."

"Loving her is more like a reward, isn't it?" Jack smiled widely and wrapping his arm around Julian's shoulders once more to give him a sideways hug. He would have laughed at the assessment, of Irina being 'so easy to love' when he thought about everything they'd been through; but when everything else was stripped away, it was the truth. She was 'so easy to love.' It was living with loving her that had proved the challenge in the past.

"What's going on out here?" The voice of their topic came quietly from behind. Irina was standing in the doorway with Lena on one hip, having come upon the scene just a moment before.

"Just a little father-son talk." Jack squeezed Julian's shoulder once more with a smile while getting up to greet his wife with a kiss. He saw her surprise and smiled, kissing her a second time with a quick kiss to the lips. "You've been carrying her around all day." His concern began to take over when he saw her other hand smooth over her belly, reminding him of just how long she'd been on her feet all day. "Let me take her for a while." He reached for Lena who went to him happily and immediately snuggled into his chest. "I think the birthday girl is partied out." He laughed softly, rubbing circles on her back when he saw her rubbing her eyes. "I'll start getting her ready for bed." He kissed Irina again on the cheek and nodded towards Julian who was picking up the mess of tablecloths and beginning to fold them again, sending Irina an unspoken message that she needed to speak with Julian.

"Thank you." Irina smiled at Jack, touching his arm with a slight nod in understanding, "I'll be up in a little while. I'm going to help Julian finish here first." Without saying anything else, she picked up the end of the cloth he was trying to untangle and began folding in tandem with him wearing a contented smile. "Is everything ok?" She asked quietly after they'd finished the last cloth and neither had spoken a word. She could see the look in his eyes as he concentrated on folding that his mind was elsewhere.

"Yes, everything is all right." Julian gave her a small smile as she took a seat on the edge of the porch steps where Jack had sat before.

Irina patted the space next to her with a smile, "Join me for a moment would you? I just want to sit here for a few minutes." Her back was beginning to ache from all the standing and carrying Lena around for most of the day and night.

Julian obliged with a smile, never one to turn down a request to spend some alone time with her.

"It was a lovely party." He smiled at her with his baby blues, earning one in return as she leaned back on her hands. "I still can't believe she's already a year old."

Irina sighed, moving one hand up to run over her belly with a small smile remembering.

"Time always seems to fly by too fast when you want it to slow down." She shook her head in wonder, "We had Sydney's first birthday party back here, too." Her eyes glanced around the spacious backyard and could still see her eldest daughter clapping with glee as a baby as everyone sang to her. "My babies are growing up too fast." Her smiling eyes turned to his as she removed her hand from her belly and grasped his fingers.

His heart skipped a beat with a smile, "And having babies of their own." Julian added, thinking of Sydney's discovery today.

"Yes." She smiled with a laugh, shaking her head in awe, "I'm going to be a grandmother." The sparkle lit her eyes with excitement. "And a godmother!" Her smile widened thinking about Carrie and Marshall.

"And a new mother again." He smiled eyeing her ever-growing belly and she smiled again.

"So many wonderful things to look forward to in the New Year." Her hand ran down the curve of her belly one more with wonder in her voice. "Babies and a wedding…" Her mind had been thinking about Sophia and Eric's wedding but she saw the flash in his eyes, "Or should I say, '_weddings?_" His eyes immediately grew wide and flashed to hers and Irina broke into her famous smile, trying not to laugh. "You forget how well I know you."

"No," He shook his head with serious determination in his eyes, "You know me better then anyone, you always have." He picked up her hand and kissed it, giving her a smile. "And once again you are correct. I would like there to be an additional wedding in the coming year…" He looked away shyly, feeling the sudden nervousness wash over him. "But I'm not certain I am worthy of the bride."

Irina's heart bounced in her chest, tears forming in her eyes with happiness as she gently touched the bottom of his chin, turning him back to face her.

"You're worthy, Julian. You love her. You always have, just as she, has always loved you." Her tears pooled and she blinked them back, "You're worthy and I love you." She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him just as she held her girls, quietly and without words.

Julian immediately returned the embrace, turning his face into her, inhaling her scent he'd come to love since he was a child; sleeping on her pillow that very first night she'd brought him 'home.'

"I love you, too…" He whispered quietly.

Irina smiled hearing his words and held him tighter for a few moments before she took a deep breath and reigned in her tears, smiling, she kissed him once more and pulled back, and wiped her tears.

"Come on." She stood up with a smile and offered him her hand with the phrase, just as she had when he was a little boy at the school, all those years before.

Julian smiled and took it, standing up and smiled wider when instead of releasing his hand, she held it tighter as they walked into the house, hand in hand.

* * *

Irina had left Julian with Ash in the kitchen and made her way up the stairs, smiling as she neared the nursery door and heard Jack reading to Lena.

"…And a picture of the cow jumping over the moon," Jack read the pages on the book while Lena sat absolutely still on his lap in the rocker, mesmerized by the tone of voice he was using and the new pictures she'd never seen before. "And three little bears sitting on chairs," He smiled when he saw Irina standing in the doorway.

"And a comb and a brush," She recited quietly from memory as she made her way towards them, "And a bowl full of mush and a little old lady," She kissed Lena's head and, "Whispering 'hush…" Her words were a mere whisper, staring straight into Jack's eyes, inches from his face before kissing him softly. The look of surprise had been evident on his face.

"You remember." Jack smiled in awe and then chuckled while Lena grabbed for the new books pages.

"Of course." Irina smiled, running her hand over Lena's little head, "Sydney loved this book…we had to read it-"

"Every night-" Jack smiled.

"For almost a year." Irina finished and they both laughed at the memories.

"But its still amazing you remember the words verbatim." Jack shook his head with a smile. He helped Lena turn the page but the interruption in the story only made her want to chew on the book and she pulled against the cover trying to bring it to her mouth. "I remember the book and the story but not the exact words. You're amazing, you know that?" He reached up to cup the side of her face, brushing his thumb over her cheek with a smile.

Irina only smiled in response and leaned over to kiss him softly once more, then Lena.

"I'll let you two get back to your story." She ran her hand over Lena's head once more, "Let me know when you're finished." Her doe eyes smiled at him from the doorway, "So I can say, Goodnight, too please."

"Of course." He smiled and watched her go before resuming the story, taking the slobbery book and pages from Lena's mouth with a laugh. "Ok Peanut, now where were we before that 'lovely,' and I do mean lovely, interruption?" He smiled thinking about his wife and smiling at the picture of her on the nightstand with Lena.

Irina had just walked out of the bathroom having put her pajamas on when she heard Jack through the monitor finishing the story with Lena and she smiled saying the words softly along with him to herself.

"Goodnight stars and goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere."

'_He was such a good father…when given the chance,_' she thought as she sat down on the edge of the bed to brush out her hair.

* * *

"Mama, we're ready for bed." Jack smiled, holding a very sleepy Lena in his arms in the doorway.

The minute Irina stood Lena stretched out her arms for her mother and instantly buried her face into Irina's neck with little palm against the other side, eyes closing immediately.

Irina laid her cheek over Lena's in the crook of her neck and held her tightly with both arms as they made their way back to the nursery. Irina was whispering in Russian in Lena's ear, too softly for Jack to make out but he smiled at the two as Irina kissed her repeatedly between words.

When she was finished, Lena was completely asleep and had gone limp in her arms leaving Jack in wonder of how Irina did that. He kissed his baby girl on the head and helped Irina lay her in the crib where as expected, Lena flipped over on her stomach, pulled her knees up and bum in the air. They covered her up together and smiled watching her in sleep.

"Happy Birthday, Mama." Jack whispered, pulling Irina close with a smile remembering this day a year ago where they'd spent it together in Irina's prison cell.

"Happy Birthday, Daddy." Irina smiled, reaching up and threading her hand into his hair, bringing his lips to hers. This day was their birthday as much as their daughter's.

With one last look at Lena, they turned out the lights and closed the door making their way back to their own room.

Irina climbed into bed as Jack turned out the lights and snuggled in close as soon as he was settled, facing each other with smiles in the dark as they lay on their sides.

"I love you, Jack." She whispered, reaching over to brush her fingers over the curve of his cheek, feeling tears prick her eyes and the meaning of this day for so many reasons.

Jack felt his heart squeeze in his chest, hearing her words and seeing the building tears in her eyes. Remembering, and feeling the same emotions his own eyes began to burn. An overwhelming sense to be as close to her as possible took over him and he immediately leaned forward, kissing her deeply with his urgency and hunger.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, Irina." He chanted between kisses of her lips and then face.

Irina felt the same instant need to be as close to her husband as possible with intertwining memories of the years of painful loss and separation and the night they reunited to make Lena.


	24. Chapter 24

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt, Breathe on Me by Britney Spears, Song for A Winter's Night by Sarah McLachlan feat. Jewel, Silent Night (piano instrumental) by David Lanz, Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, With or Without You (piano/strings/choir) by Scala & Kolacny Brothers  
**_

* * *

TWENTY-FOUR

o

"Mom?" Sydney called through the house with Vaughn close behind her, a smile on her face and photos in her hand. "Mom? Dad?" She called out again. "I bet they're outside." She smiled, pulling Vaughn by the hand towards the French doors. "I see them!"

Jack and Irina had been playing with Lena, on this the Anniversary of Irina's Execution, for the majority of the day outside.

Their day began with making love slowly and would undoubtedly end the same way as well and in between, all Irina wanted was to be with her family. They had taken Lena to the beach in the morning, all of them together before Sydney and Vaughn had to leave for their first doctor's appointment and now waited in the backyard for Julian to get home from the restaurant with their dinner.

"Nee-nee!" Lena screeched excitedly and ran as fast as her little legs would take her through the grass towards her sister when she saw them on the back porch.

"Hey there, Little Buddy!" Sydney smiled widely handing the photos to Vaughn and reaching over to scoop up her sister, smothering her neck and cheeks with kisses, making the baby giggle. Her eyes started to water when she looked across the lawn at her mother sitting on the blanket in the lawn, leaning against her father while Lena snuggled into her own neck, holding on tightly.

The horrible images a year ago passed in an instant as well as that desperation and she smiled through her tears when they passed and all she saw was her beautiful mother, still very much alive and in her life. Today was another day wrought with emotions and mixed feelings, only made more powerful by a vast surge of pregnancy hormones. She caught her mother's gaze as the three of them walked towards them on the blanket and each gave a teary smile, both knowing what the other was thinking.

"So, what did you find out?" Irina smiled, reaching up to take Sydney's freehand as her daughter carefully sat down with them on the large blanket holding Lena with Vaughn smiling beside her. "How far along are you?" Irina asked excitedly as any new grandmother might.

"Well, you're not going to believe this but," Sydney shook her head smiling and then laughing with blushing cheeks. "Seems that Dad's birthday in Vegas was not only a magical weekend for you and Dad finding out you were pregnant, and for Carrie and Marshall but…" She nervously fingered her hair behind her ear and refused to look at her father as did Vaughn who was now very interested in twirling a blade of grass.

"You got pregnant on your father's birthday?" Irina gasped with a big smile and laughed loudly when Sydney nodded with her own deep giggle. "Oh my God," Irina laughed turning her gaze to her husband who was equally red with embarrassment. "That's when you were conceived!" Her eyes flashed back to Sydney, still laughing at the irony.

"I know." Sydney smiled quietly still giggling to herself and refusing to look at either of her parents now. "Which is why the baby is due around the 16th of April." She finally managed to look at her mother with an enormous smile thinking about her baby. "Apparently, another thing I have in common with my mother is the ability to make it through the entire first trimester of my pregnancy without realizing I'm even pregnant." She giggled, squeezing Irina's hand. "I'm just over four months now." She nodded towards Vaughn who smiled shyly as he handed the sonogram photos to Irina.

Lena sat quietly in Sydney's lap, leaning back against her body and chewing on the orange nose of her new Elmo.

"Oh Sweetheart," Irina smiled, blinking back tears and failing as she and Jack had their first look at their grandchild. "Absolutely perfect." She smiled tracing the outline of the baby in the black and white image.

Jack's own eyes began to water as the image took his breath away and he looked up smiling at Sydney and then Vaughn.

"Perfect." He kissed Irina's cheek where a solitary tear had escaped, capturing it with his lips.

"Did you find out the sex?" Irina looked up smiling and brushing back tears.

"Yes." Sydney smiled widely, her own tears falling and looked over at Vaughn before turning back to her mother and father, "It's a girl." She burst into happy laughter, so excited about the fact.

"_A girl!_" Irina leaned forward just as excited at the prospect of having a granddaughter and hugged her daughter. "My little girl is having her own! Oh Sweetheart, I'm so happy for you!"

"Congratulations." Jack smiled, offering Vaughn his hand while the other two continued to hug and sway back and forth with laughter and tears. The idea of a granddaughter tugged Jack's heartstrings in a way he hadn't expected.

* * *

_Los Angeles, California - Thanksgiving_

"So, Panama Jack," Weiss smirked shamelessly across the table remembering last years feast, "Wanna pass me the potatoes?"

Everyone laughed at the much larger gathering this year and Irina flashed her husband her seductive gaze with hands folded under her chin at the other end. Weiss had been teasing her mercilessly about being the 'Godmother' since he arrived that day and she was happy to deflect some teasing away from herself.

"Jack, you're turning red. Maybe we should call you Papa Smurf instead?" Weiss added and everyone burst into laughter again.

Sydney burst into hysterical laughter gaining everyone's attention after it started to quiet, "I just envisioned Mom as Smurfette!" She blurted out and everyone else lost it again conjuring the same image.

"With thigh gun holsters and brunette hair of course!" Weiss added and another roar went up while Irina laughed and smiled shaking her head. "And we can't forget the crown!"

"Great. So I'm the old perverted Grandpa Smurf." Jack shook his head speaking in a serious tone that made them all burst out again and him crack a smile.

"Speaking of Papa, have you decided what you want to be called? You do realize you're going to have four babies under one roof and three of the four will be calling you Daddy while the other one is supposed to call you what?" Weiss poked the bear with a grin not being able to resist prodding Jack now knowing the man did have a sense of humor. "Poor kid's going to get confused." He chuckled, as did everyone else; Irina biting her lip and Jack shaking his head both in contemplation.

"I think we'll leave it up to Sydney and Michael to decided who calls whom what." Irina smiled very diplomatically turning the attention away from her blushing husband and onto herself, her being the other half of that odd realization; and then smiled at Mikhail and Bella before turning her eyes back to Sydney.

"Mom, you've just got to be Babushka." Sydney laughed smiling widely having fallen in love with her Russian heritage and knowing there was no other choice for her mother in her grandmotherly status.

Irina smiled her famous grin with a slight nod, overjoyed at the new title.

"And you of course will have to be Grand Ma-Ma." Vaughn smiled across the table at his own mother who was glowing with happiness and gave her own slight nod of acceptance. "And Grand Pa-Pa for you." He smiled at his father, speaking softly voice heavy with emotion.

"Dad? What would you like to be called by your granddaughter?" Sydney's smile was contagious with its deep dimples, enjoying this evening immensely. "Probably, Grandpa, huh?"

"Actually," Jack smiled reaching for his glass of wine and speaking softly, his fingers wrapping around the stem as his eyes locked with Irina's. "If my gorgeous counter-part is going to be Babushka, I'd like to be Papa. It only makes sense."

Irina's eyes immediately filled with tears that he'd chosen the Russian equivalent of Grandfather instead of the American _Grandpa_. It was another way he was embracing her heritage, her culture, his new life, their mixed culture.

Jack smiled widely when he saw the sparkle in her eyes and knew what it'd meant to her. It had nothing to do with not wanting to be called, 'Grandpa' and everything to do with the love in the name of Papa as her counter-part, embracing yet another part of their new life.

"Papa Jack." Sydney whispered with a smile, eyeing both of her parents and seeing the exchange. "I think they're all perfect." She smiled around the table at the four-some of Grandparents. "And Great Papa Dmitri of course." Her eyes held on the older man's sitting quietly on the other side of the table between her mother and Katya.

Dmitri's eyes went wide with surprise and held his breath while Irina's eyes filled with fresh tears looking between the two wearing a smile.

"I've never had the chance to know either of my grandfathers… you are as close to any as I've ever known." Sydney swallowed hard as emotions threatened to make her cry again, "You are a father to my mother," She smiled at Irina, "and have taken such good care of her all these years. We'd be honored if you'd accept the position as our child's great-grandparent and be Great Papa Dmitri."

Dmitri was moved beyond words and stood, walking around the edge of the table and grasped the sides of Sydney's dimpled cheeks with seriousness in his eyes.

"Of course I accept, Child. You're mother is my daughter, you are my granddaughter and your daughter will be my great-granddaughter." He smiled widely speaking in Russian before kissing both of her cheeks then forehead, doing the same with Vaughn as any grandfather would do.

When Dmitri resumed his seat again and a new round of wine was passed around Weiss stopped everyone.

"I'd like to propose a toast." He smiled and stood and they all laughed, knowing by the look on his face that it was bound to be 'good.' "To our gracious hosts," He picked up Irina's hand and kissed her knuckles, "The Godmother," he flashed a smile at her while they all laughed again, "Whose company I'll never tire of being in." He kissed her cheek forever smitten, "To Papa Jack," He nodded in Jack's direction still wearing the smile, "And to all of you," He glanced around the table, "What a difference a year has made." His smiled widened as it fell on Sydney and Vaughn, then Sophia, Julian and Ash, and Kendall and Judy. "And to the best parts of the coming year… the Little Panama Love Bug over there," He smiled at Lena smashing mashed potatoes between her fingers in her highchair and they all laughed at her reference as well as how cute she was covered in her potatoes, "My Princess Tiger Lily." Lena gave her best toothy smile at hearing her nickname from him and giggled, continuing on with her finger-painting her tray with her potatoes. "And to thee, 'Coronation Twins," He eyed Irina's belly with a slanted eyebrow while the rest of them laughed, "Nicholas and Nadia coming due to a Russian Imperial Palace near you this February…" They all burst into laughter with his commentary and he waited, giving dramatic pause, "And… of course, Carrie and Marshall's 'Honeymoon Heartthrob,' Mitchell, making his way into the world in April," He smiled as they all continued to laugh, "And last but not least, to the 'Sin City Surprise," He then eyed Sydney's belly with the same devious grin, "Also arriving on scene this April and hopefully having a name soon there after! To the babies of the New Year!"

"_Here! Here!_" They all chanted, clinking glasses with smiles and laughs.

"Sin City Surprise?" Sydney almost choked on her mineral water still laughing at the reference to her unborn daughter.

"I think its highly appropriate, though I'm starting to think they should rename Vegas Conception City instead of Sin City with both you and Carrie getting pregnant there and the glorious Tsar discovering her own little surprise packages while there." Weiss shrugged his eyebrow at Irina with a smile, tipping his head and saluting her before taking another sip. "You know I'm going to keep calling her the Sin City Surprise until you give her a name." He teased Sydney with a smile.

"Well actually, we think we've already decided on one." Vaughn smiled, reaching over and grasping Sydney's hand beside him, encouraging her to continue.

Everyone at the table interests immediately perked up and Sydney now held their full attention.

"We wanted to give her a strong name, a name full of meaning and love and something she could be proud of." Sydney's eyes already began to fill with tears as her eyes quickly scanned everyone. "If its ok with you," She looked at her mother and then Katya, "And you, we'd like to name her Anastasia… and call her _Anya_ after her great grandmother."

Both Katya and Irina gasped, covering their mouths in mirrored moves as tears instantly flooded their eyes and ran down their cheeks, so moved by the thought they could not speak.

"I think Mama would be so honored, to have her first great-grandchild named after her. Of course its ok with me, Sydney." Katya smiled through her tears, the first to break the silence and got up to kiss Sydney's cheeks and then hug her. "Do you know what Anastasia means?" She smiled to both Vaughn and Sydney as she came to stand behind Irina with her hand on her sister's shoulder. Irina still staring at Sydney while tears ran silently down her cheeks in obvious shock.

"Resurrection." Sydney smiled softly, seeing how much this affected her mother.

"That's right. Absolutely fitting in this case. Mama lives on in her daughters, in our daughters and in your daughter." Katya smiled, leaning over to kiss her sister's cheek and hold her neck tightly with her forehead pressed into Irina's temple in silent support. "And Anya means 'grace." She smiled, kissing Irina's temple once more before taking her seat again.

"Mom… is it ok with you?" Sydney asked in Russian, switching languages using almost a whisper trying to break through and worried somehow it might be too much to ask her mother to call her grandchild by the name of her own mother, a mother she lost so viscously and blamed herself for her death for years. "I mean… I know you named me after her with my middle name but if its not ok-"

Irina snapped out of the onslaught of memories and emotions to smile at Sydney and take her hand in both of her own, kissing her fingers and holding them tightly.

"Of course it's ok, Sweetheart, I love you… both," She smiled over at Vaughn, continuing to speak in Russian without realizing it in association to the memories of her mother, "Thank you." She gave a teary smile and then quickly wiped at the stinging tears, kissing Sydney's head and then holding her close.

"Babushka wasn't the only one we wanted to name our daughter after. There are two other very important, very loved and admired women in our lives we know she will be proud to be named for." Sydney sniffled through her happy tears, wiping her mother's from her cheeks in reverse of what Irina was always doing with her. "Her full name," She nodded at Vaughn with a smile.

"Is going to be, Anastasia… '_Anya_," He smiled already in love with his daughter and her name, "Irina," He smiled at Irina who sucked in a short breath of astonishment, "Bella." He turned his wide smile to his mother who was equally stunned. "The two most important women in our lives."

"Oh, Sweetheart!" Irina sprang into action, engulfing Sydney in a hug and rapid kiss before doing the same, with Bella right behind her, both women with tears streaming down their cheeks and the rest of the table wearing teary smiles.

She would be named after her great-grandmother, her grandmothers and her mother… four powerful, strong, loving women who would no doubt move Heaven and Earth for the baby that was not even born yet.

"Anya Irina Bella… Grace. Peace. Beautiful. Gracious peaceful beauty." Jack smiled, speaking softly and voicing out loud what his grand-daughter's name meant, realizing the importance of names now after the discussion with Irina on their own children's names. It couldn't be more appropriate in his mind for what was bound to be his perfect granddaughter.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia_

This year, the entire Imperial Family went to each orphanage with Irina, including the friends who were now, really extended family all staying with them for the holiday and everyone had a blast.

The kids went crazy for Irina just as they always had and those who had never seen the emotional sight before were stunned to tears to see the 'LIVE' outpouring of love for Irina from these children of all ages and hers for them in return. She truly was their mother in everyway with the loving touches and kisses, tickles and smiles; even scolding when necessary and with the individual attention she gave each and everyone before leaving, knowing as much as humanly possibly about each child as she could given the current situation. She had kept up on their lives just as she always had and still made a trip at least once a month if not twice to each orphanage while in country to spend the day into the night with the children.

The sight of Kendall laughing while a half-dozen five year olds put their bows on his baldhead making a 'shiny hat' brought them all to tears with laughter when in Moscow and this evening when he became flustered again and again getting beat in eight moves by a thirteen year old Chess prodigy in the orphanage tonight in St. Petersburg.

The young girls were absolutely smitten with Sergei, Julian and Vaughn and giggled uncontrollably every time they passed much to the delight of Ash, Sophia and Sydney who were equally being assessed by the teenage male equivalents.

Jack once again playing Santa, this time in all the orphanage visits and Irina couldn't help but smile at how much laughter she saw in his eyes in the presence of children and she knew he secretly loved playing Santa even if he protested.

They'd come home fairly late and everyone had finally begun to make their way to bed after the long day and night.

Irina looked herself over in the bathroom mirror; moving aside the sheer fabric and smoothing her hands over the skin of her extended abdomen with a laugh. She was now as big as she was with Lena at nine months with two months still left to go in this pregnancy.

Granted, she was quite small for a pregnant woman then, not surprisingly considered all she went through while pregnant with her bubbling baby girl and according to Alexei, still on 'too small' in this one as well.

The babies were growing on schedule but she was 'all baby,' and that worried Alexei over her own health. She couldn't fathom how big was 'big' if she was considered small and already felt like a whale and the thought made her laugh again as she took in her profile.

"What are you laughing about in there, Mrs. Claus?" Jack asked with a smile as he began to remove his suspenders from his shoulders listening to her laugh through the closed door.

She smiled and then laughed, shaking her head and stepping into her heels. She unwrapped another mint Kiss from the bowl and popped it into her mouth with an evil grin while it melted already thinking about burning massive calories before hitting the play button on the wall for the surround sound filling their room and bathroom and slowly turning up the dial.

**_*Santa Baby*_**

Jack had his back to the bathroom door and turned slowly as the first notes of the recognizable song rang through their room, a tightening in his chest and groin before he ever laid eyes on her.

"Oh God…" He gasped already beginning to breathe heavily when she leaned against the doorframe just as she had the year before, wearing the same outfit though shaped in a completely new desirable way. "Oh…" He groaned softly staring her up and down several times with pounding heart.

"You're not laughing?" Irina smiled with a chuckle, surprised with his reaction and slowly started making her way towards him with her sexy saunter.

"Why would I laugh?" Jack asked with a choked voice his eyes traveling from the huge swells of her breasts held tightly back behind the sheer red fabric, to her face, feeling nothing of humor and only desire in this moment. "You're drop-dead gorgeous." He whispered, closing the last of the distance, "In fact, I think I need to bend over and pick up my heart." He smiled and bent over, palming the sides of her belly and placing a kiss to the top of the smooth skin marred every so often by jagged scars. His lips smiling against her skin as he moved his kisses up and placed one over the bullet wound scar directly over her chest and then trailed them up her neck and behind her ear; his hand threading into her hair.

Irina couldn't stop the small gasps escaping as his searing lips caught the spot just below her ear that drove her nuts.

His warm breath tickling her ear he whispered, "Here it is," nuzzling into her face and pressing his body into hers. His lips captured hers with hot delving tongues caressing and claiming seconds later with moans of need and anticipation emanating from them both. His lips and teeth tugged softly against her bottom lip in sweet brushes stealing her senses and making her dizzy when his hand brushed under the fabric and against her skin, around her sides and pressed into the small of her back. He wasted no time swooping her into his arms and carried her the last few feet to their bed, setting her down with great gentleness.

Irina scooted towards the center with their lips continually connecting as Jack kicked off his boots crawling after her. Both of them stilling in the middle of the bed, sitting on their knees and facing each other. Her fingers raking across his sides trembling beneath her touch and down his chest they tangled in the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, eager to feel the contact of hot skin burning with desire for her. Her eyes tracked the movements where she reached out and lightly touched his flesh with her fingertips; grazing over his pecks and circling his nipple before pressing slowly up over his shoulders, neck and followed his jaw-line with just the barest of touches. Her thumb grazing over the contour of his already swollen lips her eyes locked with his. Fingers tracing back over his cheek and threading into his hair she pulled him closer ever so slowly until only a whisper remained in the space between their lips.

"Want." Her breath was a mere hiss as she lightly brushed her lips with his in succession of worship wanting him so badly in this moment.

"Need." Jack whispered in return, using her play on words and going beyond want to that of need with his own emotions and cravings. His fingers dancing down the length of her spine and over the sensitive area of her lower back making her gasp softly, his breath against her own fiery skin flaming her desire.

"Take." Irina granted his wish and commanded him at the same time to take what he needed from her and give what she was able. The kiss had their tongues brushing ever so gently and teasing.

"Have." He muttered back through mixed breath before licking her lower lip slowly with the tip of his tongue and then sucking it into his mouth with extreme slowness and making her whimper.

**_*Breath On Me*_**

Irina's hands stepped into action sliding up his thighs covered in red crushed velvet and she smiled when she felt him jerk as they neared his groin; pressing with her own exquisite slowness over the bulging hardness pressed tightly to his thigh and making his hiss.

When her long fingers circled over the tops of his hip bones and around the lower half of his back she pulled him up slightly towards her, lifting his rear off his calves and roughly raked her nails over his ass bringing his pants down and leaving her mark with a smirk when he yelped with a pleasure hiss.

Pushing the crushed fabric to his knees and setting free his cock now straining against his abdomen and climbing with every breath of hers on his skin. She brought the tip of her finger to her mouth and twirled it slowly with taunting eyes locked to his around her scorching wet tongue suggestively, making him breathe rapidly with anticipation.

Her wet finger slowly trailed off her lips brushing lightly against her straining breasts and connected with the tip of his shaft making him gasp loudly when she began to circle his head teasing him in return.

Irina loved the look of sweet torture and want, in her husband's eyes and raked her wet fingernail down the length of his shaft making him twitch at her mercy. Her eyes still locked with Jack's she slowly leaned forward with lips almost touching his throbbing member and blew a cool stream of air in the reverse pattern her finger took over the now wet flaming skin.

The mixture of sensations made Jack groan loudly and screw his eyes shut concentrating on not losing it.

Irina smiled that her tease had the intended effect when his shaft now stood ramrod straight against his lower abs, straining painfully with pent up pleasure and throbbing with desire. She smiled, chewing on her bottom lip looking at Jack and rewarded his rapid result by licking her lips and placing a light kiss to the very tip of his aching head sending shivers and strangled moan through Jack who was fisting the bed sheets at his sides to keep from thrusting forward.

Wanting to give as well as he got he forced the fog from his mind and opened his eyes, concentrating on hers' while he dipped his own mouth capturing one of her nipples in his mouth through the sheer fabric, his hot tongue swirling rapidly and raking his teeth over its rigid peak as he just as quickly pulled away leaving her moaning and then gasping when he blew air on the soaking fabric encasing her pointed peaks.

His smile was devious as he did the same to the other and Irina's head lulled forward and then back as she bit her lip to stop her moans and the ever-building swirling inferno she felt inside. Her hand crept to her center of its own accord, pushing aside the now soaking strap of thong fabric and brushing against her engorged clit, pulsating for touch.

Jack smiled seeing his own ministrations had the desired effect and scooted around behind her, trailing his fingers delicately over her shoulder and pushing her hair out of the way until he was situated behind her.

His mouth closing over the space between her neck and shoulder, tongue swirling, hot and branding before pulling back and blowing on it and electrifying her response. His arms slowly encircled her, pressing his throbbing cock into the small of her sensitive back, mouth below her ear and fingers following the path down her forearm to join her hand between her legs.

His fingers easily sliding in over hers' rubbing in rhythm with her' own, with matched speed and pressure. She moaned loudly getting lost in the sensations of her electrified body, and dropped her hand away, letting him take-over lost in his magic touch.

Within seconds his fingers ventured deeper and slipped first one then two inside, his palm grinding against her clit and fingers twirling in her heat causing her own hips to thrust forward towards the pleasure.

Slowly in sync with her little thrusts into his hand he began to rub softly against her back with small thrusts of his own and other hand caressing her breasts through their fabric; untying the ribbon restraining them ever so slowly until it fell open and released them.

As with every time she'd made love with Jack while pregnant, she felt the beginnings of her first explosive orgasm about to flood her and felt her breath getting away from her, gasping and panting flailing wildly before the fall and Jack captured her arms, holding it tightly to her chest with one of his to catch when she fell and force her over the edge at the same time.

"I love you." Whispered in her native tongue against the moist skin below her ear was all it took for her to shatter into a blinding abyss of pulsating pleasure with a strangled scream biting her lip trying to hold back. Her world went black and stars flashed before her soaking Jack's hand with the fallout and pushing his desire past his own limits.

The need to be inside her feeling her muscles constrict and spasm around his fingers, wrapping them in her warmth made him hungry for more. Her body still shaking and quaking against his he slipped his fingers out and lifted her slightly with the arm around her chest pressing her forward giving just enough access he pushed inside her slippery heat with a torturously slow thrust from behind, gritting his teeth and panting trying not to explode inside her quivering core. His granite cock lengthened even further surrounded with her wet Heaven and both groaned at the sensation of being fully connected, surrounded and filled. He stilled only momentarily, kissing the spot on her shoulder before her neck once more before pulling out slowly and pounding forcefully back in beginning his drive to Nirvana.

The ridge covered underside of his burgeoning cock, thrumming with boiling blood created the perfect friction against her hyper-sensitive nerve bundles still exploding from the last explosion and stealing her breath continuously away.

Irina was gasping and panting unable to recover from the first orgasm before she was being forcefully pleasured into the second. Their sweat slicked bodies pounding against each other in a perfect harmony of grace and beauty pushing and pulling the other with them towards the edge.

His hot breath and grunting against her ear grew louder with each thrust and drive, his soft whimpers every time she clenched around his retreating shaft only stoked the already raging inferno. His hand slipped over her wet thigh and to her center once more knowing they were both close and wanting to hold her as closely as possibly as he drove them both home.

His palm now pulling double-duty by rubbing her throbbing clit and pulling her to him with each of his thrusts.

Incoherent moans and gasps escaped both their lips before Irina shattered again screaming his name in a strangled cry and rocking violently against him. The sight and sound of her falling had always been Jack's downfall and he followed soon after feeling his balls constricting and then firing with every ounce of pent up energy he exploded inside her trembling body with a scream of his own in her name.

**_*Song For A Winters Night*_**

Every part of his body trembling in time with hers as he held her in his arms while they both came down; his face nestled in the crook of her neck where tiny sweaty curls were forming at the nape, his lips pressing quivering kisses to her searing skin. He tugged against her slightly until they both fell softly on their sides with Jack spooned up behind her and inside her warmth, not ready to leave it yet. His pants were now near his ankles and Irina was still wearing every article of clothing she'd come out of the bathroom in, even if they were now hanging haphazardly on her body. He kicked his feet until the pants flew off and freed his legs and then slowly pulled out while kissing the spot on her shoulder once more.

She always felt a sudden emptiness every time he'd leave their space with the loss of that connection, completeness and rolled over to face him still breathing heavily as her body continued to even out.

"I love you, too." She whispered with a smile, recalling his declaration that brought her down. Their legs automatically entwining, her belly pressed into his and fingers lacing as they stare at each other. "More so every day." Her smile widened and she reached out to twirl the sweat soaked curl starting to form above his ear.

The golden sparkle in her still exploding eyes reflecting her love for him made his heart surge with another wash of love and need for her. His lips captured hers in a sweet kiss that ended with his hand cupping her face and staring in her deep depths.

"If you weren't already pregnant with the creations of our love, I'd want to make more 'love' with you right now." Jack's smile lit his eyes meaning every word of it and laughing softly as he dropped another kiss to her lips before bringing his hand to cover the expanse of her belly, feeling two of their creations from love beneath his palm. "I love you, My Wife, My Love, My Heart and My Soul."

"Me too." Irina smiled, feeling tears prick her eyes with happiness, "You are my Heart and Soul… My Love… My Life, Jack." She brushed her fingers over his cheek once more, "I love you, My Husband." A delicate lingering kiss sealed it. A shiver ran through her body as the cooled sweat created a chill.

"You're cold." Jack ran his hand down her arm, feeling the sudden gooseflesh cover her naked skin with a hint of concern. "I've got an idea." He smiled, sitting up and extending his hand to her.

Irina smiled and accepted, kicking off her heels with a small laugh before standing beside him. Hand in hand he led her into the enormous bathroom and to its far side where the giant claw-foot tub sat facing the walls of windows with moonlight cascading in.

He flipped the stopper and turned the handles, testing the water with a smile before pouring in a generous portion of bubble bath. He lit every candle surrounding the tub and around the space before coming back to stand before her.

Irina couldn't stop the smile from taking over her face as he carefully undressed her, already standing naked in front of her, he undressed her with the utmost tenderness. Slowly sliding off the sheer top and then hooking his fingers in the bands of her thong panties before pulling them all the way down and helping her to step out of them.

Once again, ever the gentlemen, he extended his hand and helped her into the tub.

"Ahh," Irina sighed, leaning back in the warm water and mountains of bubbles.

"How's that feel?" Jack knelt beside her completely smitten just looking at her unable to stop smiling.

"Like Heaven." She smiled, and he kissed her knuckles. "Now get in here." Irina laughed, turning her hand in his and tugging gently, already missing his company.

"I will," He laughed, kissing her lips with a smile, "But first I'm going downstairs to grab you something to eat. I'll be right back."

"Forever looking out for me." She smiled at how good he was to her, sinking deeper into the warm water and bubbles.

"Always." Jack smiled, kissing her forehead before leaving.

"Jack!" Irina called out after him, "Will you please check on Lena while you're up? She was kind of restless when I put her down."

He smiled with a nod over her protective motherliness, punching in a series of numbers on the surround sound to change the music to play something more conducive to relaxing at this time of night and year.

**_*Silent Night (Piano)*_**

When the first notes began to play he turned his smirk to Irina.

"Jack, very funny." Irina laughed, shaking her head softly and covering her eyes partially with the hand by her face.

"What? I happen to love this CD." He laughed, "Plus, I happen to know the pianist."

"Really?" She played along with a devilish smile while he robed.

"Oh yes, she's this drop-dead sexy woman of many talents you see." He smirked eyeing the leg Irina was lifting from the bubbles to rest on the edge of the tub, "With amazing legs." He gulped and she laughed, "This is her first Christmas album, you know?"

"Is that right?" Irina laughed, still shaking her head.

"Umhmm." Jack nodded, "And she's such a wonderful mother, she's donating all proceeds to the Orphans Fund."

Irina actually blushed looking away and still shy of her good deeds which made Jack love her all the more.

"She's an amazing woman… and extraordinary pianist." Jack nodded in the air indicating the song, "I could listen to her play all day everyday."

"Flattery will get you everywhere." Irina smiled, crossing her arms over the side of the tub and resting her chin on them, "Now hurry up and go so you can come back and I'll show you just where." She winked and laughed with her devilish charm.

"Ooh!" He smiled, jumping into action and making them both laugh.

He first cruised over to Lena's room, stepping quietly into the darkness where her crib was illuminated with moonlight cascading in through the ceiling and smiled. She was wedged into the rail from her restlessness, facing out and deeply asleep as she laid with her little hand near her face. He bent over and kissed her cheek, pausing a moment to inhale her perfect baby scent and then pulled the blanket up over once again.

With a content smile he made his way down the long staircase and across the palace to the kitchen, humming 'Santa Baby' softly to himself and then letting loose a small chuckle.

Irina lay in the warmth surrounding her, inhaling the intoxicating scent of roses and candles in the romantic atmosphere around her.

The moon was out, shining brightly but the few scattered clouds in the sky were letting loose with large fluffy snowflakes falling delicately through the sky, hitting the glass and then blowing away. The view was always stunning from this room. She could feel the babies actively kicking and moving around inside of her; a smile lighting her face while her hands skimmed over the span of her belly beneath the water.

"Hello My Darlings," She began a quiet conversation with them, "I can't wait to see you." She smiled feeling the hard kick from Nadia. "It won't be long now… just a couple of more months before you make your entrance into this world." The niggling worries in the back of her mind would not be kept quiet and she swallowed hard, "I will do everything I can to protect you…I've failed in the past… with your sisters and brothers," She felt the tears start to prick her eyes thinking of all her children had been through, "And at some point… I probably will with you, too." She felt the lone tear slip from her eye, "As much as I want to protect you from the harm of this world, sometimes I won't be able to… but I want you to know… I'll die trying, I promise." She whispered and then broke into a small smile, "Now you have to promise Mama something too… you have to promise me you'll both keep taking good care of each other while you're in there." She talked to her belly, running her hands over it with a small laugh, blinking back her fearful tears, "I know its going to get cramped in there very soon if not already… and the end is going to be tricky for us all, but please, hang in there for Mama, please. Please." She whispered again almost pleading. The simultaneous one-two kick from each of them brought a smile and a laugh to her face. "Ok then… now where's Daddy with that food?" She turned her neck to look at the darkened doorway, "I'm getting pretty hungry? How about you guys?" She smiled, knowing they were as well, used to having a snack at this time of night now. Usually fruit but sometimes, the occasional piece of cheesecake. Every time she'd crave a piece of that, Jack would always laugh watching her eat it and swear it had something to do with the night of their conception.

Jack was meandering back through the palace with a plate full of a variety of things when he heard the sound of shuffling papers and a small crash coming from behind the doors he'd just passed that led to the library.

His instincts immediately kicked in and became on guard, carefully setting the plate of food on the small table in the hall and creeping backwards towards the cracked door. His eyes glanced around rapidly when he heard the sound of crinkling paper again, looking for a weapon to use if need be.

They landed on the saber worn by Irina's grandfather Nicholas II during his Coronation now part of the wall display and he carefully removed it from its hooks without making a sound.

Slowly he drew the sword and stalked towards the door, his blood pumping at the possible intruder this late at night thinking maybe they left the French Doors open in there after this evening's festivities and someone had gotten in past the guards. With Sloane having broken in before, he was taking no chances that someone else trying to do his family harm could do the same. His fingers on the enormous wooden door, he steadied his breath and began his count, ready to attack on the count of three but on two, he heard something that didn't fit with most intruders… a giggle and then soft moan.

With a crinkled eyebrow of confusion, he slackened his grip on the saber and pushed the door open cautiously.

To his horrid surprise, his gaze fell upon Sydney's naked back, sitting on the edge of the desk with her back to him; the dimples just above her butt she inherited from her mother visible to him with one naked leg draped over Vaughn's hip, her long hair swaying wildly behind her while he thrust into her again, his face buried in her neck and then biting, making her giggle again.

Jack stood there a moment in horrified shock before he realized what he was doing, what they were doing and that he needed to get the hell out of there as soon as he could undetected. Face blushing blood red and not breathing he backed out of the room as quietly as he could to not bring attention to himself and pulled the door somewhat closed again. He stood frozen in place just outside the door, unmoving until he heard another louder moan coming from his daughter and quickly made way for the stairs, damning himself when he had to go back near the door and grab the plate of food.

"What took you so long… and why do you have my Papa Nikolai's saber?" Irina arched her eyebrow sitting up slightly in the tub when Jack finally returned.

"I'm blind." Jack blinked hard, setting the saber and sheath down on the basin and scrubbing his hand over his face roughly before walking over to her.

"What?" Irina asked in confusion with a hint of worry seeing how red and flushed he looked. "What happened?"

"I went to get you something to eat and I… I heard a noise," Jack's eyebrows furrowed and he screwed his eyes shut once more as the image of his naked daughter with her husband thrusting into her assaulted his mind.

"Jack!" Irina reached forward with wet hand and forced him to look at her.

"It was Sydney… and Vaughn! They were…" He struggled to admit what he saw, "Doing it! In the library! I saw our naked daughter… her dimples... while they 'did it' on the desk!" He shook his head and Irina burst into laughter. "She's pregnant! Has he no shame?" He immediately directed the embarrassment into anger and Irina doubly lost it.

"Oh God, Jack!" She had tears in her eyes, "Come on!" She laughed and it turned into evil giggles, seeing him blush a new color of red at catching his daughter in the act for the first time. "You can't very well get mad at him for that!" She grabbed his hand and placed it over her very large belly with slanted Derevko eyebrows before breaking into another evil laugh. "Not when you were just doing the same thing to her mother."

"Stop!" Jack shook his head and she laughed harder. "I already told you I was blind without the added visual reminder and intermixing of what I was doing to you and what I just saw!"

Irina couldn't stop laughing and he was getting more, red that she found it so hilarious. She slid down into the water, covering her head in hopes she'd stop laughing but only came up sputtering in another burst of laughter.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart but this is just too funny. I guess our daughter also inherited her mother's insatiable sex drive while pregnant." She bit her lip in an attempt to stop her evil giggles but failed miserably, only drawing blood once more from the small puncture wound there from previously in the night when she tried to stop her self from crying out for a whole other reason. "Jack! Come on!" She tugged on his arm, while he continued to pout. "Get in here you big baby and I'll make you forget all about catching her in the act for the first time."

"What are you saying?" He dropped his robe and slid into the tub facing her, "That you've caught her before?"

"Yes," Irina giggled, sliding forward by pulling herself to him with her hand on his ankles, her knees bent up and sticking out of the bubbles.

"When?" He asked immediately, his mind a raging ball of short circuits right now even as his hands slid up the sides of her thighs.

"Not too long ago." Irina smirked, tasting the metallic blood sting on her lip with her tongue.

"Where?" Jack deadpanned, his eye catching the bright red crimson staining her lip.

"In the pool." She licked away the droplet with dark laughing eyes piercing his.

"In the pool?" Jack practically yelled and she laughed again.

"Yes, though I didn't see as much as you apparently did and it was not in the flesh… I caught the beginning of their act on the security monitors before quickly turning it off." She continued to slide closer to him until her toes were wedging themselves under his butt cheeks between his legs and her own legs pressing into his chest, faces inches apart when she leaned forward to rest her folded arms on her knees.

"And you weren't bothered by it?" Jack slanted his eyebrow at her.

"No… not really." Irina shook her head, with a smile, "I laughed and smiled at their happiness. Jack… she isn't some rogue teenage girl… 'doing it' with some unworthy guy who's only after her for sex." She paused with both of them thinking about that boy who took Sydney's virginity and having flashes of torturing him. She smiled again only wider as she continued, "She's a married woman making love to the husband who loves her."

"That makes no difference to me." Jack shook his head, still trying to clear the image.

"No difference?" Irina challenged him knowing better and giving him that look that said so.

"Ok. Some difference." Jack sighed loudly, unable to look away at the blood reappearing on Irina's lip and leaned forward, kissing it away. "But I will never get used to nor do I want to, the idea of my little girl having sex or making love with anyone!"

"Well that's understandable. Most fathers don't. Mine certainly wasn't either." She shrugged her eyebrows with a smirk remembering well her conversation with Sydney about fathers and sex.

"So what you're saying is that your father wouldn't approve of me?" Jack wiped a water-slicked hair from her cheek feeling somewhat affronted with the thought her father wouldn't approve of him.

"Well yes, he'd approve of you. He did." Irina added softly remembering the last conversation she had with her father before being taken to Kashmir. "What I'm saying is that he never liked the idea of his little girl all grown up and having sex any more then you do now with Sydney and Michael. It was not a subject that either of us ever talked about but his feelings were quite clear when he'd glare at any man or boy who ever looked twice at me when I was a young girl." She laughed and Jack smiled.

"Then I bet he really must have hated your assignment." He spoke in quiet tones though his shy smile held his confidence, "His little girl all of seventeen moving into enemy territory and sleeping with him on orders."

"I never slept with you on orders." Irina quickly corrected him, her eyes turning serious, rapidly and tone heavy.

"I know. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry." He smiled, picking up her hand and kissing it apologetically. "I know you were only with me because you wanted to, not because of what they said. It was your choice before theirs… I know." He kissed her palm again. "What I meant was, your father didn't know that at the time you and I first met. I was saying out loud what he must have thought… what I would have thought had I been in his position. I never meant to imply…" The implied word died in the air between them, never to be spoken to her again in his mind. He and Cuvee both tortured her enough for a lifetime by calling her a 'whore' for the KGB. "I'm sorry."

"Its ok." Irina smiled forgiving him instantly knowing that was not what he meant and kissing him quickly on the lips, "I'm sorry I misunderstood you."

The water sloshed around them when he pulled her even closer, kissing her deeply but with extreme softness.

The song changed again and the first chords of the song that now haunted Jack's dreams drifted into their space.

**_*Moonlight Sonata*_**

Jack pulled back with heart starting to pound and Irina felt the slight tremble run through him when he ran his hand up and down her side nervously.

It was ridiculous to him that this song could strike so much terror into his heart now and he tried to force himself to push the thoughts away. It was a beautiful song being played beautifully by his wife, still very much alive and sitting in front of him.

"I brought you some fruit and cheesecake figuring we could mix the two tonight." He smiled, masking any discomfort the song brought on and reached over the side of the tub to pluck the plate from the side table. "Cut up into perfect edible squares." Jack's smile widened as he plucked a piece of cheesecake from the plate and held it between his fingers for Irina to bite.

She watched his eyes carefully and smiled when she took it, seeing the smile for her was genuine and brushed her worry away.

"Mmm. That is good. We were getting pretty hungry." She smiled with a giggle, leaning back on her arms to expose her belly.

A small droplet of blood smeared across her lip, bright red and Jack's mind flashed rapidly to the image of the blood pouring from her lips in Berlin, then flashing back to reality and landing on the scar from the knife over the top of her belly button where her hand now currently traced lovingly back and forth and back to the image of the wide bladed knife buried deeply inside her to the hilt with bloodstained hands oozing crimson from beneath her fingers.

The song, the blood, the scar, all too much and he couldn't shake the fear anymore.

"I can't." He shook his head, frantically reaching over the tub to the remote control desperately attempting to change the song.

"Jack?" Irina was immediately alarmed for him, seeing him flustered and reached out to him with concerned eyes. "What's wrong? What is it?"

"This song… the scar… the blood on you lips." Jack shook his head rambling when the song finally stopped and the music began to shuffle once more.

Irina sucked in her bottom lip, tasting the blood once more and running her thumb over the rough scar beneath her hand. Realizing now, just how deeply the truth of her past without him affected him.

**_*With or Without You (piano/strings)*_**

"Hey," Irina reached out with a small smile, tilting his chin to look at her with her fingertips and forcing him to look her in the eyes, "Its ok. I'm ok, Jack."

"I know." He said quickly then sighed, squeezing her fingers and kissing her palm, "I know. It's a beautiful song… just a song and you're alive… but I can't stop the terror that runs through me every time I think about losing you again. It's irrational and I'm being irrational about all this I do realize but I just can't stop the feeling, the images… You were so close to death." He repeatedly kissed her palm, "I don't know why it's that time over the others, in the years we were apart… no that's not true." He shook his head, arguing with himself and reaching out to cup her cheek, "I do know why." He didn't need to say the 'why.'

She knew and understood, nodding with tears in her eyes.

It was everything that led up to that attempt on her life, the conversations the songs, the way she tried to convince herself she never loved him, her heartbreak in playing the song, the way she whispered, _Sydney_, as she slowly began to lose consciousness and the utterly terrifying way it was done, the way she bled both inside and out for all to see in that theatre, showing her physical and emotional pain all bleeding from her body in that moment with the actual blood seeping from her mouth and the memories from her heart bleeding from her soul.

"I can never lose you again, Irina. Never!" Jack said with such determination, the silent tears tracked down her cheeks and she pulled him to her quickly, wrapping her arms around his neck and simply holding him, holding onto each other.

"I'm not going anywhere." She whispered, realizing yet again this fear of loss ran deep for them all and would not just disappear now that they were finally on the road to their happiness. "I'm not going anywhere." She whispered again, chest pressed to his and arms tight around his neck she held him until he broke the hug.

"I know. Because I'd never let you go again, and if you did, I'd follow you." He smiled, wiping her tears with a smile and tilting her chin with his fingers, just as she had always done with him and Sydney before kissing her lips.

Irina remained quiet in her own reflection of the events and how much they were affecting Jack, staring quietly at him when he pushed back again, her own upper body going back to rest on the support of her own extended arm once more; the other hand now running circles nervously over her belly.

Jack reached out slowly, his finger lightly tracing over the scar from the assassin in Berlin, his mind once again flashing to the image of her on her knees, holding the hilt of the knife and blood seeping through her fingers and then to what 'could have been' with Irina taking her own life with a different knife.

"Where is it?" He asked and Irina immediately knit her eyebrows in confusion, startled from her thoughts and watching him trace the scar. "The Samurai dagger the monks gave you." Jack clarified and she sighed, knowing now his mind was currently swimming through the fear of losing her.

"In the safe. In my den downstairs." Irina answered quietly, closing her fingers over his perched on her belly over the scar; the same area she would have stabbed herself to die for her daughter if need be.

"I want you to get rid of it." Jack answered immediately feeling his pulse quicken with just the knowledge it was near, the object she would have taken her life with.

"Jack…" She almost whispered, moving her hand to his chin once more, forcing his eyes to lock with hers and seeing the sheer terror still swimming there. "I'm never going to use it."

"I know it's completely irrational of me but I can't stand to have it around you. I know its sacred and worth a great deal and means a great deal to you for many reasons relating to the Samurai code and traditions but I just can't stand the thought of you having it anymore, I'm sorry." He rambled out quickly, "I know I'm in no position to demand anything from you but please… please, Irina. Please get rid of that thing."

"Ok." Irina nodded speaking in a whisper seeing how entirely afraid of the object he was in relation to her. She brushed her hand over his face, touching him lovingly and trying to calm his fears. "I'll donate it to the museum." She gave him a small smile.

"Thank you." He kissed her lips with a note of desperation, not knowing until this moment when he realized she still had the thing in her possession combined with the events of tonight and the past, just how much that one object struck terror into him. He kissed her lips again, then the scars on her neck, chest and abdomen where each attempt visible to him was made on her life. His kiss lingering over the scar from the Berlin attack and thumb moving over the blazing scar his own bullet had made across the expanse of her growing belly.

Both of their minds now flashing to a new night of horror; Irina could only imagine what seeing the events in Moscow in the next film were going to do to him having had a part in it if this haunted him so.

"Jack," She ran her hand through his hair and forced his head up to look at her, "Do you want to talk about Moscow?" She asked quietly, having never gone into detail about that night before with him. It was too 'taboo' of a subject given he'd shot her that night. "Before you see, what happened after I last saw you in that hallway?"

"That's what I'm most afraid of." Jack whispered, feeling a chill run through him and turning the faucet to run more hot water though they both knew that was not the reason why. The Execution he also knew would be horrendous to watch again having witnessed it LIVE and knowing how close he was to losing her forever then… but this was one of those 'unknowns' that loomed in dark spaces of his mind, scaring him with what he didn't know.

"I know." Irina smiled shyly linking her fingers with his once more for support, "I only know what I remember before going unconscious in the back of the car… and from what Katya and Dmitri told me later, as with the others." She swallowed hard and picked a piece of fruit from the plate, trying to forge ahead with the conversation.

"Yes, but this one I had a hand in almost ending your life." His fingers ran across the stretched scar once more, "And Lena's." He sighed, kissing her belly tenderly.

"What do you know? Other than what I've told you?" She handed him a piece of sticky cheesecake after he shut the water off again; trying to move forward past the guilt.

This was not a conversation she had expected to have tonight but once it came up, there no sense in pushing it away.

"Only that you almost bled to death in the back of the car. That's all I know outside what you told me." Jack remembered the feeling of being kicked in the gut the day that Dmitri imparted that information to him. "That came from Dmitri's reprimand."

"He was just scared." Irina sobered, feeling badly that the two of the most important men in her life were at odds over the events when both were reacting out of fear.

Dmitri's fear was over finding Irina near death in the back of the car covered in blood and Jack's fear came from finding Sydney in the same position, covered in blood and not knowing that it wasn't hers. Both were fathers fearing for their daughters' lives.

"I know." Jack admitted softly, "He was scared for his daughter as I was for mine… but I still should have known better then to think you could ever hurt Sydney." He gulped, "I regretted pulling the trigger even before the bullet left the chamber, I knew it was wrong." The fact that he'd also chosen to shoot her in the abdomen was telling and haunting. To inflict such a wound in that location meant it was personal, just as it had been for the assassin in Berlin when he stabbed Irina there. An abdominal wound was excruciatingly painful and a slow agonizing death, such a wound was meant to inflict as much pain as possible before the target finally succumbed to an eventual death.

"You were protecting Sydney, I know that." Irina gave him her own small smile trying to let him off the hook he knew, "I don't really remember the pain all that much, I guess I was riding the adrenaline rush to survive…" She shrugged pushing forward trying to recall that horrible night. "I somehow managed to make it down the stairwell, in a clumsy combination of running, sliding and falling." She pinched her brow with her fingers, shaking her head a moment in reflection.

"Come here." Jack tugged on her arm, suddenly feeling the intense need to hold her close. "Turn around?" He asked, helping her to spin around so that she was sitting between his legs with back pressed to his chest. He wrapped their arms together in the space between her belly and breasts and tangled their legs, his cheek pressed into the side of her head and holding her as closely as possible. "I just had to hold you close when hearing the details of how close I came to losing you yet again." He kissed her temple was thankful to feel her pounding heart through her back against his own chest.

Irina then told him what had been relayed to her through Alexei, Katya, and Dmitri of the events of that and the ones following while she was unconscious.

"So we will both be seeing what happened that night for the first time together in this film." She sighed, finishing her tale and holding him more tightly. They'd finished their snack and the water was beginning to chill, their skin looked like sponge and both were physically and emotionally exhausted. "Come on." She slid forward, bracing her arms on the side of the tub and pulling herself up, turning around to give Jack a hand. "Let's go to bed." She smiled.

Silently they got ready for bed and Jack pulled the sheets and put fresh on while Irina finished in the bathroom; both knowing they'd end up bringing Lena into bed with them in the morning.

"Don't be alarmed if you wake up and find me absent in the early morning hours." She smiled mysteriously while rubbing the lotion into her hands climbing into bed.

"What is that supposed to mean exactly?" Jack chuckled, turning out the light and settling so she could lay on her side with the upper portion of her body semi covering his as best as she could with her bulging belly.

"I've got something planned that requires me to be awake before everyone else." She laughed softly.

"Well that doesn't explain much." He ran his fingers through her hair over her ear, now drying and forming giant tendril curls he loved so much.

"You'll see along with everyone else in the morning." She giggled that evil giggle again and kissed his lips. "Good night, Sweetheart."

"Goodnight, My Love." He held her more tightly and closed his eyes wearing a smile.


	25. Chapter 25

_**AN: At the end of this chapter, the third 'film' begins covering the time that Irina was in CIA custody and just after including what happened after Irina disappeared down the stairwell in Moscow. It will gloss over known scenes and information, but mostly give all new information and insight as we see things from Irina's POV, and Jack's and scenes that happened 'off screen' from the show. Generally, you're about to get a whole lot more information than was ever revealed in Season Two of ALIAS or in Absolution. All the things we 'wanted' to see and know and were denied! :) So strap in as we continue to learn more about this 'truth taking time!' **_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): The Godfather Waltz by Nino Rota and Henri Mancini from The Godfather Soundtrack, What Child is This? by David Lanz, Rock House Jail by Hans Zimmer from The Rock Soundtrack, Mother of a Mother by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, Rabat by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack, Mother of a Mother by Michael Giacchino from the ALIAS Soundtrack**_

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TWENTY-FIVE

o

The fingers and hand that softly covered her mouth bolted Sophia's eyes open startled and surprised to see her aunt standing over her with fingers to her lips telling her not to make a sound.

Slowly Irina removed her hand with a mischievous smile in her eyes and nodded towards Weiss sleeping soundly beside Sophia. She took Sophia's hand seeing the confusion in her niece's eyes at being awoken before the sun had even risen and led her to the hallway.

"Go back to sleep for awhile in the Spare Room down the hall, Sweetheart." Irina cupped her face with a smile, whispering. "I've got something planned for your fiancé."

Sophia immediately broke into a wide devious grin, knowing whatever was coming his way, was bound to be hilarious at his expense.

"Can I help?"

"No Sweetheart, but thanks for the offer. I've got it all taken care of. I'll come wake you when it's time." Irina kissed Sophia's forehead and pushed her sleepy niece gently on her way.

When the door behind Sophia closed a few doors down, Irina walked to the banister and peered over the edge, signaling with her fingers to the men below it was safe to come up.

Irina leaned over the bed with a dangerous smile and kissed Weiss's cheek lightly trying not to laugh before, closing the massive curtains to block out the rising sun and leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

"Come on, Sweetheart," Irina leaned over Jack ten minutes later with Lena in her arms and giggling excitedly. "Time to wake up. I've already sent the other's downstairs."

"For what?" Jack scrubbed his hand over his face sleepily with a smiled as he slipped into his slippers and robe watching Lena snuggling against Irina's chest with thumb in mouth and Lovie blanket to her cheek.

It was early, _really early_… even for the baby.

"This mornings entertainment." Irina smiled mischievously and pulled on his hand. "Let's go."

The slow blinking eyes of her very tired friends and family had followed her directions when she woke them all individually and told them to meet her in the theatre room where coffee, tea and breakfast await them with a surprise.

Vaughn yawned widely, trying to force his eyes open feeling like he'd just gone to bed and then smiled at Sydney, realizing he just did after their mid-night activities.

"So what's this all about?" Kendall rubbed his own sleepy eyes pouring a cup of coffee for himself and one for Judy who was groggily leaning against Bella, the two with heads together stifling yawns.

"I think we're about to find out." Katya smiled through her own hazy gaze, twirling the hair on the back of Marcelo's neck with her fingers when she watched her sister approach with Jack and Lena in tow.

"Ok everyone, have a seat please." Irina smiled, resting her cheek against her baby girls' downy soft hair while she picked up the remote. "Now that you're all here and semi-awake we can begin."

"But we're not all here yet, Your Majesty, Mrs. Bristow, Empress," Marshall fumbled with what to call her as usual making them all smile.

"_Irina_, Marshall." She threw her Derevko eyebrow at him with a smile.

"Eric's not here yet." He slunk down into the cushion with burning cheeks.

"Yeah, where is that slug?" Vaughn laughed, noting Sophia was leaning against her Dad instead of fiancé.

"I don't know. You'll have to ask Aunt Rina." Sophia smiled lazily with a giggle erupting from within not knowing what was going on but it somehow involved her fiancé and imaginative aunt.

"Mom… what did you do to Eric?" Sydney smiled with eyes becoming bright.

Irina's Cheshire Cat grin firmly in place she hit _PLAY_ on the remote for the movie screen in front of them and flashed to an index of rooms on the security monitors in the kitchen.

The confusion on everyone's faces quickly turned to roaring laughter when she clicked on the image of Weiss and Sophia's room where Weiss was still sleeping soundly. She hit _PLAY_ on the entire palaces Surround Sound and the thunderous squeals of laughter roared louder at the music coursing through the house and his room.

**_*The Godfather Waltz*_**

"Oh my God!" Vaughn roared turning red and practically rolling on the floor as was everyone else.

The music slowly began to sift through the heavy sleep Weiss was in as it grew steadily louder and his nose twitched as he became more alert.

With each noticeable twitch the audience downstairs roared with hysteria. He slowly rolled over reaching for Sophia in the spot next to him where she'd normally be and what his hand met was not what he expected. His eyes flew open instantly at meeting the cold wet substance and immediately started screaming causing those on the sofas below to literally fall from their seats, holding their sides.

Weiss bolted upright, still screaming and looking around frantically at the hundreds of pounds of frozen Cod fish covering him in his bed while the _'Godfather Waltz'_ blared over his rooms speakers.

"Oh God, I have to see this in person!" Sophia bolted from the floor with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard at her Aunt's payback.

Everyone else in the room quickly followed up the stairs behind her still roaring with laughter and holding their sides while Irina calmly set the remote down and smiled at Jack, the last two to leave with Lena still in her arms.

"_Expect more fish in St. Petersburg_." Jack recalled the line shaking his head and then burst out into his own devilish laughter. "Oh that was good, My Love… you _are_ the Master!"

Their thoughts were suddenly jarred when those who'd been downstairs with them watching suddenly bolted into Weiss's room, all singing along loudly with the song and laughing with pointing fingers on the screen behind them.

Jack took Lena from her and then her hand laughing and led Irina upstairs to join the others.

"Oh shit!" Weiss ran his hand through his hair, still trembling and trying to hold back his smile though failing and finally broke into laughter, looking around at the layers of frozen Cod around him.

"She totally busted you!" Vaughn laughed hysterically and Katya came in with camera in hand, snapping photos of Weiss sitting in bed 'packed' in dead fish with wild bed head and smile. "Oh God, she got you good!"

Weiss picked up a dead fish and threw it at Vaughn missing him when he ducked and hitting Kendall instead who gave him a stern eyebrow, making Weiss gulp before they all broke into a fit of laughter again.

"So where is she, The Master Godfather?" Weiss laughed, sniffing the air and squinting. He had to admit, this was damn good payback.

Irina made her way through the crowd that slowly parted for her with them singing along again more loudly and the other's just laughing as she stood before the end of the bed, with dangerous eyes and smile looming at him looking every bit 'The Man.'

"Well, I guess its better then waking up with a horses head in my bed." Weiss laughed, flipping a dead fish back and forth across his lap shyly slinking back under her gaze.

"I already told you… I'm quite fond of my horses. Fish though," Irina picked up one of the slimy frozen creatures and eyed it with deadly intent and that feral look that made them all swallow a bit harder, most of them all having the same thought, '_She was good_.' Her '_scary lady_' bit was still as effective now as it had been when she turned herself into the CIA. "Cod especially. I've never quite found my favor with." She walked slowly towards him, holding the frozen fish like a knife around its tail and ready to stab any second. "But I see you are quite comfortable with them." She slapped him lightly on both cheeks with the dead creature and finally smiled fully, the one they all loved with laughter lighting her eyes as she pressed the fish's lips to his before he knew what was happening and they all died again in laughter watching him spit repeatedly in disgust.

Irina stopped laughing long enough to sniff the air and move closer to Weiss making him gulp at the nearness of her face just an inch from his own, "No offense, Mr. Weiss but you smell like dead fish." She broke into laughter again even as she moved to open the curtains and threw open French Doors, letting in the biting Russian cold but allowing the horrid smell to start to clear before it completely soaked into the room.

* * *

"So how exactly did you pull this off, Your Majesty?" Weiss smiled, sitting at the breakfast table after showering thoroughly. A group of men were now upstairs removing the fish while a team of women cleaned up the rest of the mess. "Like, who did you get to come pack me with fish and move five hundred pounds of frozen Cod in the middle of the night?"

"The same fish packers I've always used." She smiled devilishly before taking a sip of her orange juice and all motion ceased at the table with wide eyes and slightly ajar mouths staring at her with the image of the former leader of K-Directorate packed in Cod still fresh in their minds.

The same men who'd packed dead bodies in ice for her, packed Weiss in his bed this morning… that was a frightening and funny concept all at once in context to what the situation was. Finally, they followed her lead breaking into smiles and laughter.

The realization and reminder that she really was the 'Godfather' made it all the more funny to them in that moment, finding humor in the reality now.

"You still smell man." Marshall loudly whispered out of the side of his mouth sitting beside him trying not to smile.

"I've already scrubbed my skin until it's raw!" Weiss held up his pink arm.

"Well perhaps, you should try some of Irina's soap." Marshall smiled shyly using her first name and Irina smiled happily that he'd finally succumbed to calling her by her given name instead of constantly fumbling over what to call her with her title. "She always smells really good." He blushed. "Like roses or something."

The implication was doubly funny at not only the jab against Weiss for smelling like dead fish and Irina like roses when she was responsible for the smell, but also Marshall's face burned bright red and reminded them all of Bashful from the Seven Dwarfs.

"Thank you, Marshall." Irina gave him a full smile with loving eyes watching as his own dimples deepened.

* * *

Irina heard a soft knock on her partially opened door as she lay on her side in bed, reading her briefings on the current economic conditions of her country.

Lena was lying on the upper part of her arm, tucked back against Irina as far as she could go, sucking on her thumb and blissfully asleep in the security of her mother's arms just as Sydney had done with her so many years before when taking naps together.

Sydney peeked her head in and broke into a wide grin when she saw her mother and little sister snuggled up together on the enormous bed. Her heart instantly surged with warmth remembering vague fragments of being in the same loving position with her mother when she was little.

Irina beckoned her forward quietly and set her papers aside, while Sydney slid into bed carefully on the other side facing her mother.

"I'm so tired." Sydney whispered and Irina reached over Lena carefully to stroke the hair behind Sydney's ear with a smile. "I thought I'd come take a nap with the four of you before dinner and church." Her dimples deepened as she lightly kissed Lena's forehead and lay her palm on her mother's ever growing belly now in its glorious Third Trimester.

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Sweetheart." Irina whispered back with a sleepy smile, more exhausted then she'd like to admit after preparing for Christmas in all respects as well as forging ahead with the peace propositions with Chechnya all the while very pregnant. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Me neither." Sydney yawned.

"I know." Irina smiled chuckling softly thinking about the look on Jack's face.

"What do you mean you 'know'?" Sydney's heart immediately started to beat faster with the fear of having been caught yet again by her mother.

"Well, I don't know exactly." Irina smiled, and saw the flash of relief in Sydney's eyes adding with a small laugh, "But your father does."

"_Ohhhhh no!_" Sydney groaned immediately covering her eyes with cheeks burning bright red beneath her hand.

"Yes Sweetheart, you might have to lend him some of that Mental Bleach you're so fond of. Seems it's your father's turn to be horrified at witnessing your sexual activities instead of the other way around for once." Irina laughed, smoothing her hand over Sydney's head and pushing her hair behind her ears while her daughter continued to cover her eyes.

"How much did he see?" She asked, not able to look her mother in the eyes and ask that question with her mind rapidly going over the moments with her husband the night before.

"Enough that when he came back into the bathroom after going to the kitchen to get me something to eat that he said, '_he was blind_." Irina couldn't stop the laughter bubbling out from her and stifled it the best she could as to not wake Lena. "Something about your naked back, my desk in the Library and your dimples… and not the ones on these cheeks." Irina tweaked her cheek on her face with another enormous smiling hearing Sydney whimper beneath her hand.

"Oh God… I'm not sure which is more horrifying now. Seeing the two of you go at it or having Daddy see me?" Sydney groaned, "At least you had some clothes on!" She whined thinking about the day of witnessing her mother pressed against the glass cell by her father. "I'm pregnant for God-sake! Why does this have to bother me so?" She sighed frustrated then laughed softly running her hand over her mother's belly and then her own.

"Because he's your father and at any age, it's something we never want to talk about with them. Pregnant or not, they don't like to think about how we got that way." Irina laughed softly, placing her own hand on Sydney's little belly.

"I suppose he's mad at Vaughn now?" Sydney laughed knowing her father too well at times.

"He was, but it was so cute. He was so flustered when he came back up and just about as red as you are now, something you get from him." Irina smiled with a soft laugh, "_How dare he do such a thing when she's pregnant_." Irina lowered her voice mocking Jack's tone and making them both laugh. "But he got over it and realized that was illogical."

"How?" Sydney asked immediately, brushing one of Lena's long curls away from her eyes.

"I simply put his hand on my own bulging baby belly and laughed at the hypocrisy that statement held considering…" She let it die off with a smirk when Sydney's eyes went wide then slapped her hand over her eyes once more making Irina laugh.

"Why must I ask these questions?" She shook her head with a smile, realizing why her parents were probably up that late, why her father was getting her mother something to eat to 'recharge' her batteries in the middle of the night. "This is one of those instances where I'd wish that '_Truth Takes Time'_ or never at all!"

"Really?" Irina asked with raised eyebrows.

There was a hint of hurt, Sydney thought she'd heard coming across her mother's tone and immediately dropped her hand to look into Irina's eyes.

"No." She smiled, taking her mother's hand into her own and kissing it, "I love the honesty in our relationship. I love being able to talk with you, even about this and even though its embarrassing at times, like now when we're talking about Dad witnessing my own exhibitions. We always end up laughing and I'll never get tired of laughing with you… or ever want to pass up the chance." She smiled seeing the one now lighting her mother's eyes. "I only hope that I can have the same kind of relationship with my own daughter," Her hand went back to her belly with a smile, "Where she looks at me like I hung the moon and truly believes I did, no matter how old she gets." She stared directly into Irina's eyes, revealing exactly the way she thought of her then and still did.

"Oh Sweetheart." Irina blinked back tears and leaned forward, kissing her forehead, lips and cheeks, "You're going to be an amazing mother; you already are." She smiled, her hand joining Sydney's once again over her daughter's belly.

"You now what's really strange since I've found out I was pregnant? Is that I've never felt closer to you." Sydney smiled, "You told me I wouldn't truly understand how much you love me until I gave birth to my own daughter, held her in my arms and looked into her eyes. I'm beginning to understand that more and more then I ever thought possible… because I'm already in love with Anya and I can't imagine how much more intense that's going to be once I finally see her, hold her." Her own eyes began to water with unshed happy tears, "I love being pregnant with you, having you here by my side… because if you weren't… I'd be scared to death." She laughed softly with nervousness, "Ok, I still am." She admitted and they both laughed, "But it would be a million times worse without you."

"Its natural to be scared, Sydney. Being a mother is the most terrifying and rewarding experience of my life. You literally give birth to a piece of your heart and letting it go into a world with danger, where it can be hurt, is terrifying. You want to protect your heart at all costs… but you also want it to grow and find happiness… love." She smiled, staring into her daughter's pooling eyes, "And as your child grows so does the love in your heart for them. When your child's heart breaks, yours does too… when they burst with joy, so does yours…because you are eternally connected, one heart beating together forever and always." She blinked back her own tears, "And when your child's heart gives birth to a piece of their heart, a piece your heart goes with that new grandchild and so goes the chain of life and love." She covered Sydney's hand residing over the space where another piece of Irina's heart lay, in the womb of her daughter with her unborn grandchild.

"See what I mean?" Sydney smiled, sniffing back her tears, "You're just incredible at this _Mom stuff_… I really do believe you hung the moon." She smiled with seriousness in her eyes that made Irina laugh. "If Anya asks me who hung the moon I'm going to tell her Babushka is responsible." She laughed softly with her mother, though still speaking seriously about how intently she felt towards Irina, "Because she certainly brought the light back into the darkness of my life… and everyday, lights up my world."

"If I hung the moon… it was only because you gave me the light to do so." Irina smiled, feeling a single tear roll happily from her eye, "My children have always been the light of my life." She smiled brushing Sydney's cheek and then Lena's, the meaning of the sleeping babe beside hers' name was proof of that.

"I remember when I was little, you used to read _'Goodnight Moon'_ to me and after we'd go to the window and say 'goodnight' to it before I went to sleep." Sydney smiled, recalling the early memory that had always been one of her favorites and was thankful hadn't been taken away with Project Christmas. "I always thought you made it appear when you'd call out in that sing-song voice-"

"_Moon, where are you?"_ They both said together and laughed.

"Yes." Sydney's dimples deepened seeing her mother remembered vividly as well.

"I was just speaking to your father about reading _Goodnight Moon_ to you every night when you were little on Lena's birthday." Irina smiled, brushing the curls over Lena's ear sleeping so peacefully between them. "I still remember it word for word." She laughed.

"Really?" Sydney flashed her astonished eyes, "I don't even remember it word for word. I remember parts of it but not… wow, Mom." Her smile raged widely.

"You can't read something that many times and not remember it word for word." Irina smiled thinking about the countless times she'd read that story. "Do you remember _The Runaway Bunny?"_ She asked somewhat cautiously, knowing the subject matter hit close to home for both of them and was personally, her favorite book from Sydney's childhood.

Sydney's brows knit trying to recall, "I do… but… Project Christmas." She concentrated all the more trying to remember.

"Once there was a little bunny, who wanted to run away. So he said to his mother-" Irina began to recite hoping to spark the memories and Sydney's eyes widened.

"I am running away." Sydney added smiling, remembering her part.

"_If you runaway_,' said his mother," Irina smiled seeing that her daughter was remembering, "I will run after you-"

"_For you are my little bunny_." They finished together with a sense of awe.

"I do remember!" Sydney smiled, "I loved that book, too… because no matter where the bunny ran away to… his mother would find him." Her mind immediately flashed to Moscow, and even though she hadn't runaway and had been kidnapped instead, her mother came for her.

"Me too." Irina smiled softly, feeling her tears pricking her eyes again.

Another memory associated with that story suddenly came into sharp focus for Sydney and her eyes began to tear.

"I remember… just after you were gone," Sydney swallowed hard and Irina braced her heart, "And Dad had been taken to prison." She paused a moment to think about how that had changed for her in these last years, before it was after her mother died and her Daddy went to work, now. "I ran away from the house one day… and went to the park."

Irina felt her heart squeeze already knowing what was coming next and the tears began to pool in her eyes.

"I thought you'd come find me. You said in that story, that you'd always come find me. No matter where I went… even if I became a fish... just as the book said." She gave a teary smile remembering her childish thinking then. "But you never came… and eventually my Nanny found me and from that day on. I refused to let her or anyone read that book to me again." Her tears fell more quickly and she wiped them away.

"I'm so sorry." Irina cried with her. Her heart aching for what that must have felt like for Sydney to have been told over and over every night that her mother would always be there for her and then to be so horribly let down.

What used to be a favorite book between mother and daughter became a traumatic memory, and she now wondered if that, not the Project Christmas, was responsible for blocking out Sydney's memories of reading _The Runaway Bunny_.

"Its ok, Mom. It's not your fault I was young and naïve." Sydney smiled, wiping Irina's tears in turn.

"Not naïve, Sydney… you were an innocent baby who knew nothing of the harsh realities of the world until yours suddenly came crashing down. I'm sorry." Irina sighed, kissing Sydney's palm with more tears.

"I remember thinking and praying at night that I could make you come back from the dead for me," Sydney paused as a slow smile spread across her face, "Eventually, you did." Knowing now that she was the reason her mother came back from 'the dead' and re-entered their lives. "And you came for me in Moscow… just as the mother bunny said she would, you found me." She added, brushing Irina's cheek and trying to show her, that one of their favorite stories still held their truth and was once again a happy memory.

"And then you found me here." Irina smiled, laughing softly remembering when they'd found her after Sydney remembered.

"You want to hear something really funny?" Sydney smiled after a moment, brushing the tears from her face, "I think I understand where Dad was coming from in his protective nature for me against Vaughn and the '_how could he, she's pregnant'_ line," She sniffled again having Irina's full curious attention, "Because for a split second there, when it finally came to me, _why_ he was hypocritical… I was furious with Daddy for doing the same to you! Having the same reaction of, '_how could he, she's pregnant'_ and thinking he was a bastard for doing that to my Mommy."

Irina couldn't stop the deep laughter that erupted from within and had to turn her face into the pillow, and Sydney ended up doing the same. They're protectiveness for Irina now was something else that father and daughter shared in.

Cupping Sydney's neck and bringing their foreheads together once they both reigned in their laughter, cocooning Lena, Nicholas, Nadia and Anya between them, Irina closed her eyes and spoke softly.

"Oh Sweetheart, I love you. Everything about you, to the Moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth, I love you forever and always."

"I love you too, Mommy." Sydney smiled contentedly, closing her eyes and linking fingers with her mother's free hand. "Mommy," She whispered again quietly after another moment of silence with both of them on the verge of sleeping.

"Hmm?" Irina hummed without opening her eyes; their foreheads still pressed together, her hand still on Sydney's neck.

"Will you recite _'Goodnight Moon'_ to me?" Sydney continued to whisper, glad their foreheads were together so her mother couldn't see how sheepish she was for even asking but now that she knew her mother remembered it verbatim, her heart longed to hear the story it remembered from her childhood.

Irina just smiled and without opening her eyes, began without question to recite the story of a small child's procrastination in going to bed by saying goodnight to everything to her 'little girl.'

"In the great green room… there was a telephone and a red balloon… and a picture of a cow jumping over the moon… and three little bears sitting on chairs... and two little kittens and a pair of mittens and a little toy house and a young mouse… and a comb and a brush, and a bowl full of mush… and a quiet old lady, whispering 'hush…" She smiled as she whispered, "Goodnight moon… Goodnight cow jumping over the moon…"

Sydney couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face hearing the story in the exact same voice she remembered and snuggled into her pillow deeper.

"Goodnight light and the red balloon… Goodnight bears and goodnight chairs… Goodnight kittens. Goodnight mittens. Goodnight clocks and goodnight socks. Goodnight little house and goodnight mouse. Goodnight comb and goodnight brush. Goodnight nobody and goodnight mush. Goodnight quiet old lady whispering 'hush.' Goodnight stars… and goodnight air. Goodnight noises everywhere." Irina whispered the last part so it was barely audible and smoothed her thumb over Sydney's ear, smiling as she began to hum _The Russian Lullaby_ softly before they both fell asleep.

* * *

An hour later, Lena was awake and poking Sydney in the eye with her little finger, trying to touch her sister's eyelashes. Sydney felt the tiny finger and started to giggle before she ever opened her eyes; grabbing Lena's little hand and kissing it making her little sister let out her tiny giggle.

Lena continued in her baby babble mixed with various words from different languages and Sydney just lay there, trying not to laugh too loudly, watching her sister lying so contently but completely awake in their mother's arms.

Irina heard them before she opened her eyes and couldn't stop her own giggles watching Lena go after Sydney's eyelashes again.

"She has a thing for eyelashes."

"Da!" Lena's eyes went wide with a quick nod and Russian 'yes' pointing at Sydney hearing her mother's voice and they all laughed.

"At least she doesn't say, 'no' all the time yet." Irina snuggled her face into Lena's hair.

Hearing her mother say 'no' in Russian was all it took to spark Lena into action and she immediately began to say, "_Nyet nyet nyet nyet_!" Over and over rapidly with a little body shimmer and slanted eyebrow that made Sydney and Irina burst out into laughter. Lena wiggled out from under Irina's arm and sat up with a smile, pointing to Sydney first and then Irina.

"Nee-nee… Mama."

"That's right!" Sydney raised her eyebrows enthusiastically clapping as did Irina and Lena began clapping for herself with laughter. "You are so cute!" Sydney snatched her sister laughing and held her close, smothering her little neck with kisses and making Lena squeal.

When they stopped laughing and squirming, Lena lay over Sydney's head with her little arm over Sydney's face and cheek pressed against Sydney's hair, essentially hugging her head and once again making her older sister and mother laugh. That only lasted a moment before the restless baby crawled away from Sydney towards the side end of the bed.

"Oh no, she's escaping." Irina laughed watching as Lena turned around on her belly and with a big smile at her Mama, began shimming off the edge holding onto the comforter.

Before either of them could move to grab her, Lena had hit the ground and was already running…around the room and babbling incessantly as she'd go to one object, look at it curiously then practically run to another… entertaining her mother and sister the entire time where they were watching from the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Irina asked, brushing Sydney's long hair over her shoulder a few moments later, seeing her daughter's dazed look.

"Great." Sydney smiled, running her hands over her belly, "I was just thinking about how much fun it's going to be, with all four of them around the same age." She laughed watching Lena sprint from one side of the bedroom to the other. "Five of them, with Mitchell added in the mix."

"Yes," Irina laughed, "I can see years of entertainment coming our way." She placed her hands with Sydney's on her daughter's belly with a smile. Within seconds, they both felt it. The first kick and both their eyes went wide. "I felt it!" Irina whisper shouted with bright gleaning eyes when Sydney's surprised eyes looked to her mother in disbelief.

Again, they felt the distinct kick and both screamed and laughed, tears in their eyes with joy. Lena was startled at first but came quickly running to the edge of the bed, trying very hard to pull herself up again.

Irina reached over and helped her baby, settling her the best she could in what little lap she had left and then resumed with her hand on Sydney's belly.

"The baby's kicking." She cooed in Lena's ear with a smile. Lena reached out and patted Sydney's stomach not really knowing what was going on but they were touching her sister's belly so she did too.

"This is so amazing!" Sydney cried happy tears.

Irina quickly reached over realizing her son-in-law was missing out on an important event and pressed the Call Button for Dmitri downstairs.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" He answered with a smile in his voice.

"Could you please find my son-in-law… and tell him that his baby is kicking." Irina smiled widely at Sydney.

"I'll send him up right away." If it was possible, they heard the older man's smile grow in his tone.

"Your Highness," Dmitri smiled at Vaughn finding them all downstairs in the Game Room, "Her Majesty has requested your immediate presence upstairs."

Vaughn's eyebrows knit even though he smiled, wondering what Irina wanted with him, as did everyone else.

"It seems that your daughter has started kicking." Dmitri smiled and stepped back out of the door knowing that at any moment, Vaughn would realize what was happening and tear past him.

Vaughn's eyes flashed wide and he stood in shock for only a second before dropping his pool stick and running at full-speed out of the room while the other's laughed and quickly followed after.

Vaughn burst into the door upstairs to Irina's bedroom seconds later and found his wife, her mother and sister all sitting in the middle of the bed with hands on Sydney's belly.

"She's kicking!" Sydney's smile raged and she quickly ushered him over, immediately placing his hand where hers had been.

They waited for a second and then Vaughn's face lit into a radiant glow when he felt it.

"Wow…" He muttered and they all caught the flash of the camera out of the corner of their eyes before turning and finding just about everyone standing in the doorway.

A year ago on this night, he became Lena's legal Godfather, he'd proposed to Sydney and his father came back into his life. Tonight, they were all feeling the first kicks of his unborn baby together and Vaughn decided that forevermore, Christmas was his favorite holiday.

* * *

When dinner was over and they'd all began to get settled to open gifts, Sydney once again had a request from Irina.

"Mom, please play something?" She trailed her fingers along the edge of the Grand Piano remembering last Christmas. "Please?"

"_Please!_" Everyone else chimed in after her, begging Irina with smiles and laughter.

"Alright." She smiled, passing Lena to Sydney and patting the seat next to her as she took a seat on the bench, wanting her girls to sit next to her while she played. "Any requests?" Her playful smile turned to Sydney.

"Whatever comes into your beautiful creative mind is fine by me." Sydney smiled, wrapping her arms around Lena sitting on her lap while the baby tried to press the ivory keys. "I love how you always take songs and make them your own."

"I think I know of something." Irina smiled, and everyone remained absolutely still waiting.

**_*What Child Is This?*_**

Her fingers brushed over the keys so lightly they seemed to be doing ballet, captivating everyone with not only the beautiful music she was creating but also the grace in which she did it.

Judy smiled wrapping her arms around Kendall's waist and he returned the smile, leaning against her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. The two of them still finding they had to pinch themselves on occasion to remind them it was real, the surreal shift in their lives as they looked around the room.

Jack was also glancing around the room at its occupants. Smiling first at his gorgeous wife and daughters by her side. Lena lying back against Sydney as she swayed gently side to side watching their mother play… _a bond everlasting_.

Julian was standing with Ash in his arms, holding her from behind with his arms draped over her shoulders and Ash holding onto his arms, his cheek pressed against her head and both wearing smiles… _young love reunited. _

Vaughn was sitting on the edge of the big leather chair where Mikhail was sitting; Bella standing beside them and Vaughn's arm around her waist… _a happy family back together_.

Weiss was sitting on the couch with Sophia sitting sideways on his lap; his hand lovingly playing with the exposed skin of her back that peeked out below her sweater, her small hands holding his large one in her lap and playing with his fingers… _a new love growing_.

Marcelo was leaning back against the opposite end of the couch, his arm around Katya's shoulders while she was turned into him, her head resting on his chest with her hand over his heart and a teary smile on her face… _true love growing stronger_.

Carrie and Marshall were sitting on the big fur rug in front of the fireplace and tree; their hands linked over her belly covering the new baby beneath… _a new family_.

Sergei sat on the other end of the rug, a smile on his face as he propped his arm over his bent knee, no doubt thinking about his love who'd be arriving from Stockholm on a plane in another hour or so after she celebrated with her family in Sweden… _a new love just beginning. _

Talia sat on the love seat holding Dmitri's hand; both sharing smiles as they, too looked around the room. The heads of two families united and forever entwined… _an old friendship with shared love for their children. _

Kendall and Judy standing just to the side of him, arms casually draped over each other… _unexpected love found._

They both smiled at Jack and then to Irina just finishing the song and Jack smiled at Irina when their eyes met… _two souls bound forever in love. _

* * *

New Year's Eve brought wonderful surprises all around the world for their family.

Julian proposed to Ash by quietly whispering in her ear during the explosion of beautiful fireworks over the Taj Mahal… he wasn't sure if the loud boom he heard when she said _yes_ was the sound of his heart exploding or the fireworks above. Sergei also purposed to Madeline when she came to visit him in Rome and Mikhail and Bella renewed their wedding vows in a private ceremony with just the two of them in Paris.

Jack, Irina and Lena celebrated in Washington, DC at the White House as they had the year before, staying awake all night after the Bush's practically begged to watch Lena for the night when the party was over. Strolling hand in hand on this unusually warm winter's night, still wearing their formal wear.

They walked and talked past the Lincoln Memorial, along the banks of the river, taking romantic rides in horse drawn carriages when they got tired of walking. They walked through the Georgetown campus where they first met, sat on the steps Jack had run into her on and ended up having coffee when the sun rose at the same exact tiny coffee shop they went to the morning they ran into each other at the Smithsonian.

The first week of January brought them back to Los Angeles for the premiere of the much-anticipated third film in the series with the first two continuing to smash worldwide box office records.

A day before the premiere, Irina got a heart-stopping call that Lena, the beautiful actress portraying her, had been seriously injured while shooting the last scene on the last day of filming for the final film. They had saved the fiery explosion of the Kashmir prison and escape for last and even though it was practiced and rehearsed many times with all the proper safety checks in place, something went wrong.

When Lena lunged off the side of the collapsing building into the helicopter, it pitched in the wind slamming her hard in the ribs breaking them before she flew out, twisting her arm out of the socket when it tangled in her safety harness and slamming her head into the skid, knocking her out and splitting open her forehead. It was an accident; no one person's fault and Lena remained a trooper during the whole ordeal when she came to, even broken and bleeding she still wore a smile trying to make everyone around her who felt horrible for what happened, feel better.

Jack and Irina met them at the hospital where Lena smiled from her hospital bed to an apologizing Irina, saying she wasn't upset, and instead actually felt closer to the part, knowing that Irina really did have broken ribs when she lunged into that helicopter in real life… that even though it was an accident it felt like some small _badge of honor_ earned for her in playing such a remarkable woman and that her injuries were miniscule in comparison to all that Irina had been through.

Still being the trooper that she was, she showed up on the Red Carpet the following night beside Irina with her husband. A small white gauze bandage over her eye to cover the few blue stitches, and around the harness burns of her upper arm in a sling. Her ribs rapped in a protective Ace wrap under her gorgeous red dress showing slightly and all of that not taking a thing away from her beauty.

Her smile was just as radiant even as she fielded question after question about how she was feeling and the prospect that she might have to have future surgery on her torn and stretched ligaments and tendons in her shoulder did nothing to stop her pride of working on such an incredible series of films.

* * *

Irina squeezed Jack's hand as the lights dimmed and the screen came to life. As soon as the Production credits faded the sights and sounds of the film jumped right in, startling everyone from the very first second.

**_*Rock House Jail*_**

The scene began with the view inside a helicopter looking through the rain-covered windshield as it rose over a high-rise building in the middle of the night, near downtown Los Angeles. Within seconds the chopper dipped enough for the audience to see what it was following. Below on the streets a caravan of black SUVs, police cars and motorcycles, and trucks reading SWAT on the side surrounded and guided an armored truck through the streets.

_"We've got a red light up ahead," A man in the leading SUV spoke into his walkie-talkie as his eyes surveyed the area around them precariously from the passenger seat. _

_"Switching to green for 'Go." Another man responded into his head-set from the helicopter following above. He typed something into his laptop and the intersection lights did as commanded. _

_The trucks rolled forward and turned with precision lights flashing and sirens blaring as they made their way through the almost deserted streets. _

Katya sat wide-eyed with astonishment that her sister had been deemed so dangerous she warranted such a display of security force and protection. Ann and Ryan were having similar thoughts still getting used to this idea of Irina's other life.

_"ETA in a 58 seconds." The man typing furiously into his laptop announced and then the chopper swooped lower as the trucks went under a bridge._

_"All right people!" Kendall boomed with hands on hips hearing the announcement and gathering the attention of the people in the Ops area. "Listen up. The prisoner will be here in under, sixty seconds. This woman is a highly trained assassin; former KGB spy who has killed a dozen officers of the CIA in such a manner as to leave them beyond recognition… Do not, for one second… underestimate what she is capable of!" He flashed them all a glare of intent, "Are we clear?" _

_Several people swallowed hard and turned their eyes to the security monitors._

_"Go!" Kendall nodded at the team of men dressed in black holding automatic weapons protected in Kevlar towards the steel doors leading outside. _

The trucks pulled up in the pouring rain and time and motion seemed to slow down onscreen as they opened the armored truck's doors and gazed into the pitch-black interior. The slow exposure of Irina's chained ankle in a singular flashlight was her first appearance before cutting to her face as they unshackled her from the truck, ten armed men on the ground pointing guns at her. Two men began grabbing her arms; helping her out of the truck in the soaking rain into the building.

_Her heart pounded in her chest even though her exterior was that of complete deadly calm as they guided her by the elbows. _

_The sounds of the metal chains tethering her ankles as they drug across the tiles ground into her body as much as the actual handcuffs. _

_One after another the giant metal gates before rose leading her to her new prison cell and she clung the knowledge this was all worth it to see Sydney again. _

"_I kept telling myself as I marched forward_," Lena's voice came on for the first time narrating this film, "_I had a goal… a plan, they had not captured me; I was there of my own free-will and I kept repeating this to myself with every step toward my imprisonment._"

_Her face turned only slightly as they walked her past a row of empty glass cells, taking in what was bound to be her new home for the foreseeable future. _

_The hiss of air after a brief pause on the last cell caught her attention before being jolted forward once more into the cell she'd been staring at. Immediately the US Marshalls began unlocking her restraints and stepped away with guns trained on her until they were all clear. The door shut behind them and locked with another hiss and Irina rolled her wrists slightly, staring straightforward at the wall, standing in the exact spot they had left her in. _

_"Sir," The man spoke into the phone when Kendall picked up, "She's secure." _

_"On my way." Kendall sighed, looking briefly at the monitor of the woman standing deathly still staring at the wall in her cell. He approached her cell cautiously as he took in her profile, internally astonished by her immediate beauty and then the feral look of murderous intent in her eyes when she turned her head to face him. _

_"I'm Assistant Director Kendall," Kendall introduced himself staring at the beautiful deadly woman on the other side of the glass. "I'm told you want to cooperate." _

More then a few in the audience and especially those who knew the two fairly well, snickered with laughter when Irina continued to just stare at him with her menacing glare for at least another thirty seconds of awkward silence, causing Kendall to shift uncomfortably on his heel onscreen.

_Irina smiled internally seeing she was already enjoying this game watching the man squirm under just her gaze, "I will speak only with Agent Sydney Bristow." She finally spoke, breaking the silence and turning her face slowly back to staring at the wall. _

_"And how do you know there is an 'Agent' Sydney Bristow?" Kendall decided to play hardball, shifting his weight and intrigued that she wanted to speak only with the agent he knew to be her daughter._

_Irina's only response was to turn her glare back to him, annoyed that he dare challenge to play with her._

_"There is no Agent Bristow working here." Kendall finally gave her something still trying to play hardball. "You said you wanted to cooperate and agreed to doing so with the United States government as per terms of that agreement. If you do not agree with these terms, you will be charged and tried for your crimes is that clear?"_

_'So he thinks he's going to run this show.' Irina smirked internally, studying this man intently making him wait. "I will cooperate with the US Government and will do so by speaking only with Agent Sydney Bristow, 'Assistant' Director Kendall." She emphasized the 'Assistant' part just as he'd done with Agent. _

_"You don't get to decide who you will or won't speak to Ms. Derevko. You are a prisoner of the United States government and as such, you will do what I tell you to do! Is that clear?" He huffed, annoyed with her already after only two minutes in her presence. _

_Irina simply turned her head and went back to staring at the wall, smirking when after another minute of silence Kendall threw his hands up in the air and walked away._

"_I was going to have fun getting under his skin_," Lena's voice came back through and the audience snickered with laughter.

_"Well one thing's certainly clear," Kendall sighed with an angry huff taking his seat in the Ops floor and staring at the monitor again where Irina was still standing in the same spot staring at the wall. His eyes turning to the young agents around him, "I now know exactly where Agent Bristow got her annoyingly strong stubborn streak." _

The first full laugh of the night came with Kendall's first thoughts and conclusions over mother and daughter.

_"Jack, its Ben." Devlin called from his home office that night, glass of Scotch in front of him and pinching his brow with his fingers as he spoke. "She's been transferred." _

_Jack on the screen was sitting in his own home office, full bottle of untouched Scotch sitting on his desk. "Thanks for telling me, Ben."_

_"Night, Jack." Ben felt for his friend witnessing his life blow up in front of him once again. _

_"Night, Ben." Jack sighed, hanging up the phone and staring at the bottle of Scotch. He opened it and poured a healthy amount in the glass tumbler, taking a long drink before setting it down, letting the burn run through him. _

Everyone in the audience gasped softly with a small pained 'awe' when he opened the bottom drawer of his desk unlocking the false bottom and retrieving the old picture of Irina holding baby Sydney on the pier.

The edges tattered and obviously looked at often they'd learned from the last film; Jack's face ran of torrent of emotions across it before taking another harsh swig of the amber liquid.

_"The Monster returns." He spat with sarcasm, "What are you up to?" His stare was intent as he looked at the photo._

_"She's still standing there!" Kendall looked flabbergasted at the monitor when he arrived the next morning, some five hours after leaving before once Irina was secured. _

_"She hasn't moved at all, Sir." The young Agent raised his eyebrows impressed. "Not an inch from that spot and staring straight ahead. Even when the lights went out." _

_"Good Lord…" Kendall shook his head at the kind of woman he was dealing with, "She's either not human or… the most stubborn woman on the planet." He huffed with hands on hips realizing what she was probably doing after the conversation earlier in the morning. He pivoted on his heel and headed towards the cells. _

_Irina heard the clanging of the metal gates and decided those were either going to annoy her or delight her depending on who she came face to face with after… when she heard the heavy footsteps she knew this was one of annoyance. _

_After spending the last five hours in mediation, she was more then ready to battle with wills again. _

_"We need you to answer some questions about some of the information contained in your debrief." Kendall just jumped right in, brushing back his suit jacket to place his hand on his hip once more. _

**_*Mother of a Mother*_**

_"I told you Assistant Director Kendall, I will give you the Intel on whatever you need to know," She emphasized the word 'need,' speaking to him and yet still staring at the wall, "But from this moment on, I will only speak with my daughter," Her dangerous gaze flashed to his, "Agent Sydney Bristow." Her patience was wearing thin. She wanted to see her daughter, speak to her and look her over; make sure she was ok and look for any signs Sydney might have become infected with the Rambaldi disease._

_"I'll see what I can do." Kendall conceded and walked away._

The audience erupted into their full laugh again with Jack explaining paint samples and colors to Francie and then when she determinedly said she was going to kill who ever introduced Will to heroin, watching as Jack gulped slightly.

The talk between Jack and Sydney just after brought back the seriousness and they all winced for Sydney when she did put on her coat, remembering with vivid heartbreak the scene of Irina shooting her in Taipei and the moments for both of them after.

_"I don't support the Death Penalty, but I hope that she dies for all that she's done… I really do."_ The stinging bite to Sydney's words hit everyone as they internally winced again at its harshness especially knowing what happened later to Irina in that regard.

Sydney reached over and squeezed her mother's hand with apologetic eyes already blurring with tears not five minutes into the film.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered and Irina simply leaned over and kissed Sydney's forehead giving her a small smile.

Kendall's telling to Sydney of Irina's demands and his attempt to blackmail Vaughn followed, as well as Vaughn's talking to Sydney about just asking Irina about the disk.

_"Maybe you could shut down with her… I couldn't."_ Sydney onscreen looked away and revealed what Irina had known the first moment she laid eyes on her from behind the glass.

_"Didn't kill her! Did. Not." Kendall raised his voice pointing and Vaughn sighed, looking at the monitors showing Irina pacing. "That woman, forty-eight hours ago was one hundred percent pure bad news… and now she's ours! And there is just a chance, Mr. Vaughn… that she has turned."_

_"When she got done with my father… he could only be identified by his dental record." Vaughn gasped still in awe. _

Mikhail felt the sharp stab of guilt keenly listening to what his son believed, they all believed, and how it affected so many lives, especially his son's and Irina's.

_"Yes, I know." _

It was obvious to everyone that Kendall felt slightly bad for a moment but continued on his campaign as to why Sydney talking to Irina was important.

Vaughn's protectiveness for Sydney was immediately made clear when he told Kendall flat-out, if he could get Irina to talk he didn't want Kendall to ever ask Sydney to speak with her again.

**_*Rabat*_**

Sydney's smoking entrance on the mission in Rabat had them all smiling especially when Dixon watched her push her hair behind her ears and said it was her 'thing.'

Sydney turned her head to smile at her mother, both sharing that 'thing' and the irony of Dixon pointing it out when it was still unknown to Sydney where she'd gotten it from.

Everyone burst into laughter when the audible thud could be heard through the elevator doors as Sydney knocked out the guy with her cane.

The laughter semi-died down when Vaughn entered the cells, already sweating and they couldn't help but laugh when Irina approached the glass, eyeing him like a lioness about to eat him and he had trouble looking at her.

**_*Mother of a Mother*_**

_Irina had seen the young man approach and she knew instantly who he was, he looked just like his father. Her breath almost caught in her throat but she had a role to play and as much as she was interested in Mikhail's son, she was more interested in speaking with her daughter and growing extremely impatient waiting for her. _

_It had been days now since she'd turned herself in and the only information she'd gotten out of anyone concerning Sydney was that Kendall had gone to 'see what he could do' after caving to her demands. _

_She got as close to the glass as possible staring at him intently waiting to hear what he had to say. She was annoyed that he looked intimidated to speak with her, staring at the floor first and refusing to meet her eyes like a coward and her expression to him said just that. _

_It was then as he was looking up, that she remembered why he would have such a hard time looking at her… in his mind, he was facing his father's killer and she softened her look considerably. _

_Instead of seeing cowardice, she saw bravery in the fact he was able to stand before someone he believed to have murdered his father. He was struggling to ask her the questions about the black mail disk and she used the opportunity to study him closely, the way his eyes looked so much like Mikhail, the way he pursed his lips with determination… he was handsome and looked so much like his father. _

_He grew frustrated that she was not answering his questions and it amused her knowing she had no intentions of speaking to anyone other then Sydney but almost smiled when he rearranged the wording in hopes of getting something out of her._

_When he sighed and looked away she knew that he understood she wasn't going to speak to anyone but Sydney and her interest was clearly peaked when he verbalized those very internal thoughts, even using the word 'daughter' in reference to Sydney and her heart skipped a beat and then quickly tensed when he continued revealing that it was Sydney, who did not want to see her and that was the reason she hadn't seen her daughter yet. _

_Her mind was taken from that thought the moment he referred to her as 'Sydney' allowing her to see much more deeply into the relationship he had with her daughter then she would have previously guessed. His strong words and passion on her daughter's behalf clearly revealed him to be Sydney's advocate and something more._

_With that, she did have to smile and comment, watching his reaction carefully when he realized what he'd said and what that told her in turn. He quickly resurrected walls of protection and defiance up against her, damning himself she saw in his eyes for revealing how he really felt about her daughter. _

_When he informed her that Sydney was already in Rabat recovering the disk, asking for her help in keeping Sydney safe… she thought for a moment on how exactly she could use this to her many advantages and chose her words of action carefully. _

_Telling him that if he wanted to protect Sydney tell her to pull the fire alarm, probed deeper into the relationship of her daughter and the man before her, eager to learn as much as she could about Sydney as well as giving Sydney something truthful, something that would help her and hopefully start to gain her trust… but she also knew her daughter was stubborn. _

_That likely hadn't changed since she was six years old which was clear to Irina in her refusal to speak with her now… if Sydney was still this stubborn, she would ignore her advice and not pull the alarm… and just as Sydney had when she was a child and didn't listen to her mother's direction, ending with whatever it was not going right, Sydney would come to her feeling badly as she hated to disappoint her mother. Somewhere in there, Irina hoped this would still ring true in her daughter's subconscious… and bring Sydney to see her._

_"You look just like him." Irina quickly said as Mikhail's son was walking away, not sure why she had or maybe she was. _

_She felt she owed it to her friend's son to tell him he was his father's son and yet, when Vaughn paused so suddenly at the gates she knew how deeply it had to have hurt him to hear that coming from 'his father's killer.' _

_Stunning him that she knew exactly who he was without her telling him so was also her intent. He once again showed his courage by turning around and facing her down once more before leaving. _

_When he was gone she felt the pain of loss over his father, reigning in her emotions careful of the fact she was being constantly monitored and feeling badly bringing pain to his son in order to suite her own purpose, her own daughter. _

_Learning this new facet to the relationship between Sydney and Mikhail's son intrigued her as much as it worried her. He was clearly protective of her daughter and intent on protecting Sydney from her… she didn't want to hurt Mikhail's son but at the same time, if he stood in the way between she and her daughter, she would be forced to on some level and that roiled her gut. Analyzing this information was how she would spend the time pacing her cell over the next several hours._

_"Vaughn, she wants me dead." _

_Sydney onscreen immediately rejected any Intel from Irina and Kendall reminded her, "If that were true Agent Bristow, she would have killed you in Barcelona." _

And everyone in the audience including Jack couldn't help but laugh slightly hearing and seeing Jack freaking out about it in the car and it was Vaughn who made the first assessment that Jack couldn't think clearly where Irina was concerned.

Irina on the other hand, had a hard time laughing when she saw how much Jack was out of control over the thought of her returning.

Of course, the stubbornness Irina was banking on with Sydney proved true when she didn't pull the fire alarm and tripped the alarms, everyone laughing hysterically in the audience while Sydney subdued the bodyguards in her 'wild' dress. Dixon felt badly he was responsible for the failed mission.

Irina's intuition about Sydney's reaction to disobeying her were right on when Sydney told Vaughn immediately upon returning she wanted to speak with her mother.

Vaughn trying to talk her out of it and hearing how he felt about facing his 'father's killer' was hard to hear but he also stated the core of the entire issue.

_"But she's your mother! Sydney, with all she's done, she is your mother!"_

Sloane's speech of '_I'll be here for you_,' to Sydney gave them all the heebie-jeebies and Jack wanted to punch the man onscreen. Everyone laughed out loud again when Sydney relayed what they were all thinking watching Sloane touch her when she relayed this moment to her father and said, _'I wanted to cut off my hand_.'

Jack's clear panic over the thought of Sydney speaking to Irina was quite clear when he ranted in the car about how evil she was and Jack in the audience squeezed his wife's hand softly in support.

_Irina's heart skipped a beat when she heard the gates rising and the sound of two pairs of footsteps, one heavy, the guard, and the other light… Sydney._


	26. Chapter 26

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): When The Doves Cry**_** by Quidon Tarver from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack**_**, Cosmic Love **_**by Florence & The Machine**_**, How You Remind Me **_**by Nickelback,**_** Stay **_**by Michelle Featherstone**_**.**_

* * *

TWENTY-SIX

o

_Irina was elated that her daughter had finally come to see her but also knew she had to be methodical in how she dealt with the situation. Her instincts had been right. That Sydney wouldn't pull the alarm and come to her just as she had when she was a child and didn't listen. Reminding Sydney, every chance she could, she was her mother. _

_She knew that Sydney stood at the glass staring at her and she waited only a moment before turning to face her daughter._

_"You didn't pull the alarm." Irina finally spoke telling Sydney she knew exactly why she was here. _

_Seeing her daughter's eyes dart to the floor out of shame, she couldn't hide the tiny smile gracing her lips that even though twenty-one years had passed, Sydney was still the same. The last time she looked away in shame, when being confronted by her, was when she was caught in a lie about brushing her teeth before bed the week she had been extracted. _

_"I wouldn't of pulled it either." She smiled standing before Sydney only inches away and separated by glass. _

_The statement was said with a double intent, to show Sydney that she wasn't upset with her and to remind her, of how much they were alike. _

_Sydney went straight into questioning but Irina still had questions of her own before they spoke of business, first and foremost being, how Sydney was healing after she shot her… Something that continually plagued her mind, heart and what was left of her soul._

_With Sydney's refusal to answer, she obliged and answered her question not wanting to push her further then she was ready for. Looking over her daughter, Sydney's cheeks were pink and healthy and it appeared that she had run to wherever it was the CIA was holding her prisoner, a good sign that she must have been healing well… and not sick with the effects of the Rambaldi fluid. That was enough for now and she breathed a small sigh of relief. She could see the anger and resentment lingering in Sydney's eyes and the demands and confrontation about the information she was providing alluded to the struggle within for Sydney in facing her. _

_"Trust me." _

_"Why should I do that?" Sydney challenged with her anger burning bright staring straight into Irina's eyes looking for some truth. _

_"Because I'm your mother." She answered in a softer tone, giving her the one truth she could, the only one that mattered and needed in forging ahead to gain her daughter's trust again._

_She caught the surprise in Sydney's eyes before she turned to leave and when the last gate closed, she went back to the window, hugging herself with a twist of feelings going on inside, blinking back tears she would not let fall at seeing Sydney again._

Irina's heart twisted painfully once more watching Sydney onscreen breakdown in the hall just outside the cells, crying after their first encounter, so upset. Her eyes filled with unshed tears and she smiled to her right, when she and Sydney both, simultaneously squeezed each other's hands in support at looking back to those painful first meetings.

Sydney's trip to Helsinki flew by, cut intermittently with Irina's debrief of 'silence' that caused more then a few to chuckle at her form sitting there in silence as they asked question after question. Silence once again took over the theatre when Sydney charged into the cells standing in front of the glass and confronting Irina.

Hearts were cringing at Sydney's harshness onscreen, especially Sydney's herself who seemed to shrink in her chair an inch and grimacing at the biting words of '_you, are not my mother_.'

When Sydney left Irina alone again in the cell onscreen, Lena's voice came on to narrate the reason Irina was smiling.

_"As much as it pained me to hear Sydney declaring I was not her mother, I was delighted as well, to see my daughter's fierce determination to separate the two in her mind. It meant that she still felt something for me, in some way, for the image of the mother she remembered and in trying to separate us, hold on to the part of me she knew only as 'Laura,' instead of believing it all a lie and casting me completely aside, I knew my chances for gaining Sydney's trust back were much greater now. Somewhere inside, Sydney still loved me even if she didn't know it, and I would prove to her that no matter how hard she wanted to separate the images of me, I was her mother, the same mother she knew and loved then… 'still must love' now on some level or she wouldn't still be holding on to the image of me as 'Laura.' I was also proud of Sydney, for being so forceful with me, for standing up for herself and 'trying' to take control of the situation. My daughter's courage and strength were admirable and she had become the woman I had always known she'd be_."

Sydney turned to look at Irina with teary surprised eyes. At first she was a bit stunned to see her mother had appeared amused after she had left when finished with her tirade of demanding she was not her mother but hearing 'why,' almost took her breath away. Her mother had known, then, able to see so clearly where she had not until that night she spoke with her father on the porch-swing talking about why they had wanted to separate the images of Laura and Irina as a way to hold onto the love and life they remembered.

_When she had gone to see her mother, Sydney had been exhausted from her mission. Now, she felt wide awake, tired of laying in her bed for hours staring at the ceiling she got dressed and went to Union Station where she always did her best thinking. _

**_*When The Doves Cry*_**

_Only a few passengers were waiting for their early morning trains when she arrived, sitting in the far corner near the exit to the gardens she curled her feet under her. Her mother's words kept ringing through her head, 'You didn't pull the alarm.' _

_And Sydney hated herself for feeling badly about disappointing her mother…constantly trying to remind herself that this woman was not her mother. The mother she remembered was gone and she wouldn't let this 'woman' into that space. But the looks, the tone of her voice, the way she put her hair behind her ear were all the same…_

_Dixon had said that pushing her hair behind her ear was 'her thing,' but was it really? Or did she inherit it from her mother? The image of Irina pushing her hair behind her ear kept repeating through her mind. And why had she asked about how her shoulder was doing? She didn't care…she shouldn't care! _

_Sydney felt her anger rising. She was the one who shot me! Now, she asks concerned like a mother… when she told me she wished she had killed me when I was born! No, she was not her mother. Not this woman. This woman was a monster and a means to an end. _

_'She left me. She didn't want me. She abandoned me… left me all alone. How could any mother do that?' Sydney kept repeating in her head, trying to convince herself not to let 'this' woman get to her. _

_She was tired. Tired of being wrong. Tired of feeling the way she did. _

_She couldn't please her father, he was furious with her for even speaking with her mother… and it was clear, or at least she thought it was, that she was a disappointment to her mother. Something else that angered her for even feeling badly about it…she should care how her mother felt or be upset she disappointed her! The smile and "I wouldn't have pulled it either," remark left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. _

_Why would her mother say that? Ask about her shoulder? Was her father right? Was this all a manipulation? It had to be. _

_The harsh words in Taipei rang loudly through her heart as well as the sound of the gunshot and exploding pain in her shoulder. But in Barcelona… that didn't make sense either… why would she save her from Khasinau, her own partner? _

_Why would she let her live and then tell her Truth Takes Time? What was that supposed to mean? What truth? And why would she only speak with her? Not with any other agent? _

_"Trust me… because I'm your mother…." Sydney felt a chill run down her spine and hugged her arms more tightly to her chest._

_Conflicting images and flashes of the two images Sydney held of her mother ran through her mind at war with one another just as her feelings were as she tried to further separate and understand._

_The loving images of the mother she remembered, the smiles and laughter, the hugs and kisses of 'Laura' battling with the harsh words, looks and gunfire of 'Irina.' _

_When a woman with long dark hair… so much like her mother's, sat next to Sydney, cradling a sleeping little girl to her chest with a smile and loving caresses and soft whispers to the child stirring slightly in her sleep, Sydney couldn't take anymore as flashes of her own childhood before her mother died, no… left her, ran painfully through her mind. She felt the tears burning in her eyes as she gave the woman a soft smile and quickly left… turning into a full blown run once she cleared the entrance doors. _

_Running as hard as she could onscreen all the way to Credit Dauphine, a painful montage continuing to surge through her, tearing at her feelings it was clear as the tears kept streaking and Sydney ran harder. _

Irina felt the painful sting of guilt in her heart seeing what Sydney had gone through, the torment and conflict as she tried so hard to separate the images of her mother in her mind. Trying so hard to understand and struggle through the pain, adamantly trying to find her strength and resolve to 'hate' the woman who took her beloved mother away.

Jack appeared next onscreen sitting in Barnett's office wanting to devise a strategy to keep Sydney away from her mother. Watching himself on the screen now, and remembering his motives, Jack lightly squeezed Irina's hand with his now sweating palms.

Sydney still couldn't believe her father had gone to Barnett to help manipulate her and watched with fascinated wonder, and relief, she realized, that Barnett hadn't helped her father… even though he was successful on his own in coming up and executing his plan.

The thought sent an immediate shiver racing down her spine and Vaughn felt it holding her hand beside her. He gave her a small smile of comfort glancing down where she was running her hand nervously over her little belly, and then to Irina doing the same with her much larger one.

All of them feeling the anxiety knowing what events this conversation with Barnett put into motion,

_"Irina Derevko is an opportunistic sociopath, who will use whatever inroads she can make with my daughter to get what she wants!" _

When Jack onscreen slipped, and called her '_Laura_' a small gasp came out of both Sydney and Irina… hearing now more then ever the separation Jack was also fighting for in his mind with her. It was obvious to them, that Jack was just as surprised at being caught, still calling her Laura. The deer in headlights look and heavy breathing showed only a glimmer of the raging emotions within.

Sydney returned again to Irina's cell after learning of Sark's plans to launch the satellite and Ann was struck again as the camera moved through the corridor and gates to the glass cell just exactly how much it did remind her of keeping a caged animal in a zoo to be looked at and studied, held captive against their will… only Irina, was the picture of relaxation with her back to the camera, apparently meditating.

Sydney onscreen, it was clear, was equally fascinated by her mother's calm and wondering about what it was she was doing. Irina seemed to read her mind, and answered her without question.

_"I can teach it to you, Sydney," Irina turned gently speaking softly and trying yet again to get through to her daughter. _

_"I told you, when we speak you are to address me as Agent Bristow." Sydney replied forcefully unnerved that her mother not only read her mind, but that she was being so 'calm' and 'okay' with this situation. _

_Brushing her hair behind her ear just as she did, temporarily caused a skip in the mantra of 'she's not my mother' running a constant loop inside her head as she battled to make it the truth. _

"Oh…ouch!" Weiss hissed under his breath witnessing the stinging words of condemnation between the two and Irina's nod of acceptance.

_Irina nodded in acceptance but was nowhere near giving up. Sydney was stubborn, as was she, and she would keep trying in another way to get through to her daughter…remind her, that 'she' was her mother…_

_Irina smiled and almost laughed at Sydney's rundown of Sark's plans to launch the satellite, throwing in, "I doubt this is news to you." She liked this sassiness in her daughter, she always had… and it was good to see it again in spite of the circumstance. Sitting and thinking for a moment in how to answer, she realized Sydney had just given her another opportunity to try again…and she was fully prepared to use whatever inroads she could make to get through to her daughter as well as hopefully bring up another memory._

_"Do you remember when you were six years old? I sent you to piano lessons. Your teacher was Ms. Adams." _

_The look on Sydney's face said it all to everyone in the audience, just as surprised as she was to hear 'this' as the explanation to the question and also smiling intrigued with Irina's methods of getting through, knowing exactly what she was doing… reminding Sydney she 'was' her mother, in spite of what Sydney wanted to believe. _

At the time, Sydney had been too stunned in hearing the words and question coming from her mother's mouth to see what she was actually doing, but watching it now onscreen, the interaction she saw her mother using her own stubbornness and refusal to give up to get her to see, and remind her who she was. On some level she guessed she knew what her mother had been doing, but at the time she was too emotionally conflicted to see it flat out for what it was.

Jack, was equally intrigued having never seen this conversation and Barnett shook her head softly with a small smile, having seen this conversation in studying Irina's tapes before, and knowing that Jack had been right that day in her office in how Irina was using as many inroads as she could to get through to Sydney…she was glad she did.

_When Sydney answered, Irina was relieved…if she remembered that much, maybe she also would remember their last conversation the day she dropped her off at Ms. Adams, remember what she had told her, how much she loved her and always would. _

_She gave her the straight forward technical answer she was originally seeking and loved the look of astonishment on Sydney's face before quickly going back to that of a petulant child answering with just, "Fine." _

_As quickly as she turned away, Irina realized her chance to have an answer to a question that had long plagued her was also slipping away and seized the opportunity. _

_"Speaking of Ms. Adams… just before I left, I remember her encouraging you to try out for your Thanksgiving play… you don't have to tell me if you don't want… but in the twenty years since I last saw you. I've often wondered, what part did you play?"_

Images of Irina's daydreams of what Sydney might have been quickly flew across the screen as her mind ran rampant with all the times throughout the last twenty years she'd thought about Sydney and the play… mostly in Kashmir and it pained Sydney in watching that now, to know that is what had flown through her mother's mind in asking and then her lack of response.

She was too busy being upset at yet another reminder 'this woman' was her mother, a mother who in her own words 'left' her… and it only made her more, angry to hear she thought of her often over the last twenty years. Thought of her, but still stayed away.

_Irina immediately felt the sting and pain at hearing and seeing the pain in her daughter's eyes at how deeply she felt the loss of her mother… and saddened that she still had no answer to complete the long running question. She felt like it was punishment; finally being able to get an answer to her question only to have her daughter not be able to provide her with one out of the pain of loss that they had both felt so deeply. _

_Another question that had been plaguing her mind, was also once again setting off alarm bells in the back of her head and as she turned and sat on her bunk, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting back against the brick wall. _

_When she first learned that Sydney had become an Agent, she always worried and wondered if her father had anything to do with it…if he ever actually 'used' the Project Christmas training on their own daughter. She had no choice…in bringing Julian into this life as she had been forced by Khasinau and Cuvee to do so as the only way to keep him. _

_But surely, Jack had a choice… or maybe he had been forced to do so as well with Sydney… as a term of being released from prison after they took him in for being a suspected traitor when they discovered who she was. No matter the motives, it was the most likely reasoning behind Sydney's 'blur' of a memory…and her daughter clearly wasn't aware of the reason for that blur…Jack obviously had never told Sydney what he did to her and Irina felt her anger rising inside her. _

_In erasing Sydney's memories of the training of Project Christmas, he had also managed to erase the one moment in time she had hoped would stay with her daughter forever… her goodbye and promise of love, forever and always. _

_For that, she hated him more then she could ever have believed… he not only brought their child into this dangerous world by letting her become a spy, but took away the reminder of her mother's love she had hoped would always stay with Sydney._

_She sprang from her seat and began to pace, waves of fury running off her for hours._

Watching the scene of Sydney asking him about the play, brought back Jack's own flood of emotions from that moment which was shown again in a rapid sequence of flashbacks as he saw little Sydney in her turkey costume scanning the audience for her mother, and seeing only him and the Sloanes, breaking into wailing sobs and screaming for her Mommy.

_The answer he gave made his daughter smile as she clearly didn't remember how upset the play actually made her and for that, he was happy that the Project Christmas training had erased her painful memories of the loss of her mother. Being reminded of that pain, and knowing now that the woman who caused it was still alive and trying to reconnect with his daughter only fanned his fury at her for leaving and lying to them in the first place. _

_When he realized he might be even more upset that she left, than that she had lied to begin with…he quickly slammed the door on that emotion refusing to believe it. This woman was not the one he fell in love with. _

Sydney wanted to slap herself watching her onscreen image smile like an idiot when her father was manipulating her with his, _"I trust your judgment,"_ in regards to her mother.

She internally berated herself for being so naïve and blind to what he was doing, especially since he had been so completely anti-her mother anything, and then suddenly smiling complacently that he just 'trusted her judgment.'

"My God was I naïve." She whispered shaking her head and Vaughn squeezed her fingers.

"You weren't naïve, Sydney, you just didn't ever think your father would manipulate you." He whispered back, searching her eyes and trying to offer some comfort and reasoning.

"I should have known then, Vaughn. I had never fully trusted him and then suddenly, when my Mom came back, he just automatically got all my trust as she seemed like the devil and so he suddenly became an angel. I knew better. I still don't know what I was thinking." She shook her head actually surprised to find she was really angry at this moment, at her father for manipulating her like that. Sure she had forgiven him and none of this mattered now, but it still hurt at being reminded of what happened.

Her mission in Sri Lanka made more then a few laugh with Marshall's sled and then gasp horrified when Julian figured out she was in the tunnels and ordered the launch earlier, sending burning flames of fire at her.

Irina felt her own heart pounding and anger at herself and Julian, seeing just how deeply his jealousy ran then if he was purposely trying to kill Sydney. She had never known he had purposely ordered the early launch after suspecting Sydney was in the tunnel.

When they had discussed this plan, she had told him that she would feed the CIA information and it would most likely be Sydney showing up for the launch. Extreme sibling rivalry, was the thought going through everyone else's minds in the theatre coming to the same conclusions on witnessing Julian's actions.

When Sydney onscreen went to Irina with the code names they retrieved from Sark's computer through Will, everyone laughed out loud with Sydney's stern and flat, "_No_," after Irina asked her for a pencil and paper to decipher it.

Katya immediately realized this was the scene her sister had described to her when speaking of Sydney when they were in Brazil.

Irina couldn't hide her amused smile looking at her grown daughter through the glass and seeing the same stubborn six year old child, who would often refuse bed with the same flat and defiant, "No."

_Her smile only seemed to incense Sydney's anger when she relayed the fact she couldn't decipher the code without the pencil and paper. Her amusement quickly left watching Sydney break off the pencil, handing her a tiny piece and she realized, just how dangerous her child thought her to be…that she didn't trust her with a pencil. _

_But then her mind short-circuited, to Taipei and the horrible kick she still felt in her hand when the gun fired and she watched her daughter wince from pain and fall over in the chair after shooting her. Irina knew she had shot her to save her, protect her…but Sydney didn't know that…she only knew that her own mother had shot her the first time she saw her in twenty-one years…it was no wonder she still didn't trust her, believed her capable of harm even from a pencil. _

_The thought that her own child, putting up a brave front, was actually still scared of her…sliced through Irina's heart with as much pain as she saw run through Sydney's eyes that night, standing over her with a still smoking gun. _

_As Sydney watched her decode the names as she was hoping she would, to learn how for the future, her mind would not leave the fact that Sydney had not yet asked her how or why she had shot her. She had expected Sydney to ask or rather demand in righteous volatile anger why, and she would tell her the truth then…but she hadn't._

_"You know you haven't yet asked me how I could shoot my own daughter…" _

_She brought up the subject cautiously, hoping to spark the conversation and phrasing it in such a way to show that all was not as it appeared to be that night…and she would tell her if Sydney asked._

_But when Sydney answered her with a stoned faced, "No, I haven't." As if the reason didn't matter, she didn't want to hear it and she didn't care, it ran a shot of fear straight through Irina for the first time, that maybe, there would be no getting through to her daughter…_

_If Sydney hated her, was angry and hurt with her, then she also knew that somewhere in there was love tainted with betrayal that she was hoping on finding and bringing back to the surface, but if her daughter didn't feel anything, was void of any emotion where she was concerned, then Irina had no chance and her daughter truly felt nothing for her anymore. _

_The thought alone almost brought tears to Irina's eyes as she studied Sydney's placid face taking the paper from her. If Sydney was asking for the codes, it meant she knew where the music box was and Irina also knew that Julian wouldn't be far behind, with a quivering voice filled with the emotion that was threatening to spill out over the realization Sydney felt nothing for her, she threw out one last attempt to show her daughter, plead with her daughter, that she did care for her, was her mother and wanted a chance. Warning Sydney that Sark wouldn't hesitate to kill her, and telling her she wanted her around, not in harms way, so she could have the chance to explain her actions someday…_

_Hoping Sydney would see that she cared, that she worried for her safety and that there was more to the story then what it appeared on the surface. Trying to give Sydney a reason to care, to feel anything for her again as she couldn't take the emptiness. _

_Sydney wasn't sure why she stopped, had turned around and decided to tell her mother she was a turkey in the play, or maybe she did. Maybe the part of her she was trying to deny, the part that wanted to hear the explanation, the part that still loved and cared for her mother, the part that saw the hurt in her mother's eyes at her indifference…decided to give something to ease her mother's pain, in spite of what she told herself she wanted to feel._

_"About the Thanksgiving play…I was a turkey." Sydney offered and Irina felt as though her heart stopped, tears immediately threatening to fall until she stopped then by closing her eyes and taking a breath._

_"A million times I had envisioned my daughter in that role," _Lena's voice narrated Irina's thoughts over the scene as she thanked Sydney onscreen and her daughter left, _"And to have it confirmed and now cemented in my mind, felt like a wash of relief. That Sydney offered it to me, had answered my question she didn't have to…also sent a surge of hope shooting straight through my heart again, that all was not lost. That somewhere inside, my daughter still felt something for me, and something…was definitely better then the nothing I had feared. Sydney would never know, the gift of those four simple words, and what they meant to me_."

Lena's own narration was choked with emotion and everyone in the theatre's eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Irina saw the glint of a tear rolling down Sydney's cheek and met her teary eyes with her own, reaching up to wipe it gently off with a smile and sharing a silent conversation.

Watching the interaction onscreen, hearing Lena's narration of what Irina had been thinking and then witnessing the two's interaction beside him now, Jack felt like his insides were slowly being consumed with fire as he saw himself onscreen watching them on the monitors and knowing it was that moment, that he decided to get rid of Irina at any cost.

He had seen in that conversation that the connection he had feared between mother and daughter was slowly resurfacing and he wouldn't allow that to happen.

_With Sydney in Siberia, Irina worried about her safety knowing that this would probably be the first collision of Julian and Sydney but she was also riding on an incredible high that Sydney still felt something, and she was slowly breaking through. _

_The image of her daughter as a turkey kept flashing through her mind as she worked off the worry and tension with a smile doing pushups._

**_*Cosmic Love*_**

_With the heavy cadence of footsteps approaching, only one set not two, Irina new immediately who it was that would face her without a guard. Jack. _

_Her heart already pounding rapidly from the exertion of exercise, she struggled to slow her breathing as the mix of emotions washed through her with full force. _

_"The excitement at seeing him again was quickly flushed and shoved_ _away as I knew he was standing there watching me,"_ Lena's voice once again relayed Irina's thoughts, "_Remembering Vladimir's words and recalling that this man had destroyed me, caused me so much pain and agony..."_

Images of Vladimir telling her about Jack mixed with torturous screams and images of Kashmir as they raped her because of him, trying to expel her want of him from her flew through Irina's mind in seconds and she paused in her pushups.

_"I refused to feel anything else, holding onto my hate…repeating the mantra of, 'he hates me, hates me, hates me, hurt him before he hurts you, hurt him before he hurts you." _

Jack's eyes already glistened with unshed tears having witnessed what had run through her mind in those moments and hearing why she thought she had to put up her defenses, 'to hurt him, before he hurt her…' He laced his fingers more tightly with Irina's and felt her thumb already nervously caressing the back of his hand.

Sydney was completely enthralled with tear filled eyes, unable to breath as she watched for the first time, her parent's first encounter in _twenty-one years._

_When she turned around, Jack knew that any mantra of his own hate he'd been trying desperately to hang onto melted away seeing her face again. She was even more beautiful then he remembered and for a moment, he saw only his wife._

_Seeing his face; the want for her in his eyes and looking at her the way he used to, Irina couldn't let it go on any longer as she felt her walls begin to tremble._

A moment of their past with Jack looking at her the same way flashed rapidly across the screen as Irina recalled the look and her internal monologue of Lena's voice once again began to repeat, '_hurt him before he hurts you,_' through Irina's head as her expression began to harden.

_Locking dark eyes with his she rapidly stood and moved before him inches from the glass, holding his gaze and watching as through his hate, he seemed to soften with an almost sadness she couldn't bare to see and it only incensed her anger._

_He was not allowed to feel anything but hate for her as well… 'he hates me, he hates me, he hates me.' Her internal mantra continued until she spoke, knowing she had to show him he had no effect on her. He meant nothing to her now…She wouldn't let him pull her down._

"_I've had a picture of your face in my mind_," She began onscreen and everyone in the audience held their breath watching and waiting, feeling the crush of the 'illusion' just as Jack did.

_Her words had the intended effect on him and the brief sadness and longing for a past that never should have existed quickly evaporated replaced by pure rage and hate she saw burning in his black eyes and laced through his words. _

_This was the Jack she had conditioned herself to deal with…a man who still felt something for her, the something she could handle…hate. She had wanted this reaction and yet she felt the sting surprised to see and hear it coming from him, hear him tell her he would kill her and know that he meant it. _

_Vladimir had been right, which she always told herself she knew, but hearing Jack say it, and seeing that he meant it…finally made it a reality, a truth. _

_He hated her…and it sent a sharp pain ripping through her heart in a way she hadn't expected. That he could actually and did actually hate her, knowing it now for certain, she felt her own real hate begin to boil to the surface as she listened to him relay how Sydney would react to her death at his hands. _

_"She spent most of her life believing you were dead, she'll get used to it again…no matter what bond you try to forge with her." _

Sydney's tears were now running streaks down her face, one hand covering her mouth completely horrified at what her father had just said to her mother.

Things had been different then but thinking about her relationship with her mother now, losing her again…she reached over and quickly grasped her mother's free hand, pulling it up to her own pounding heart and holding it tightly though her eyes refused to leave the screen. Irina turned her head and watched her daughter's reaction, felt her desperation and knew exactly what she was thinking, and feeling.

_Satisfied he'd torn her down just as she had done to him, Jack spun on his heel and walked away. _

_"You haven't told her what you did to her after I disappeared…have you?" Irina called out stopping him in his tracks with what she knew was the truth and her own way of fighting back. He thought himself so righteous in regards to Sydney; tearing her down as a terrible parent when he had done just as much harm…and she was letting him know that she knew it. He was no better then she was. _

_His non-reaction was the only confirmation she needed and she didn't wait until the last gate closed before spinning on her own heel and dropping immediately back to the floor feeling a surge of angry adrenaline surging through her and needing to be worked off as emotions battled and tore her apart inside. _

_Faster and faster she pumped her arms doing more pushups, battling her inner turmoil and shoving it all back into their carefully sealed boxes as she regained her control. _

_"Jack didn't matter,"_ Lena spoke softly over the image of Irina working off her steam with an incredible pace behind her, "_All that mattered was Sydney and my plan. Nothing else mattered. Nothing. At least that is what I kept telling myself." _

* * *

Sydney and Sark's face off in the caves left them all breathless as first she threw the axe after he taunted her and then his gunfire broke the ice around her, and she plunged into the icy water.

Irina held her breath the entire time and found herself squeezing Sydney's hand more tightly when the ice sealed over again, trapping her daughter beneath.

Only after Dixon pulled her from the ice did Irina breathe again, and Sydney smiled at her, hearing her mother's large intake of breath and seeing her worry even now, sitting beside her. They cringed together when Sloane hugged her and everyone laughed when she told Vaughn she went home and took a shower.

When Jack and Sydney's heated discussion over him trying to have her transferred followed, Irina felt an overwhelming sadness in spite of the fact Jack was trying to get rid of her at hearing his words.

_"This is a woman you've idolized for almost twenty years… you didn't learn about her history with the KGB until recently-"_

_"Oh what does that matter," Sydney fired back in agitation that he was right._

_"That you've wanted a mother… your mother… all your life… and now here she is." Jack spoke what he knew was absolutely true and had never wanted to admit, let alone say out loud… one of his biggest fears realized._

_Sydney's response of not 'being that naïve' unintentionally had in turn, said that he was in falling for and being with her mother in the first place. That even his own daughter saw him as the fool that everyone else had for the last twenty years in being duped by that woman only increased Jack's intent to get rid of Irina, especially after interrogating Richter and listening to him defend her, calling her a 'great woman' even as he was threatened with death. _

_To see another man defending and protecting her, the woman who destroyed his life, fueled his hate to new unprecedented levels. _

_Seeing Sydney completely determined to keep interacting with her mother, no matter her reasons, terrified Jack beyond reason that Irina would expose him and in turn, gain their daughter's favor over his._

When Sydney sat down before her, and informed her that Richter had been taken into SD-6 custody, Irina felt a pang of guilt and sadness over the loss of a good man and loyal associate.

_When she had worked out her plan with Julian, all three had known that Richter had been infected with the liquid from inside the Red Ball the night Sydney blew up the lab. No amount of treatments without a cure, would save him and so, when presented with the offer to help, Richter agreed to forfeit what was left of his life out of his love and loyalty to Irina, knowing he was going to die anyway. _

_Julian had taken him to the Falkland Islands and held him to make it look as though he had been captured, luring SD-6 there with this bait and leaving Richter behind as they escaped according to Irina's plan. Richter would then feed the information to SD-6 and in turn, Sydney would come to her in regards to the map. _

_Hiding the map in Moscow in one of her own government buildings gave her a great wealth of options in 'helping' Sydney recover the map and escape Julian and the police when they arrived, earning her daughter's trust further. Asking Sydney to return her mother's earrings, in exchange for helping with the map served many purposes. _

_First, in that she wasn't lying when she said they held sentimental value and in looking at those, being reminded of her mother's strength and determination, what her mother sacrificed her life for, Irina could remember that turning herself into the CIA and being caged was worth it in regards to making her own sacrifices in the name of her daughter. _

_Second, it was a way to show Sydney that she did 'care' for things… people if they held a sentimental value to her, and that she wasn't the monster without a heart or feelings she was sure Jack was spewing to their daughter. _

_Third, she needed them now at this phase of the plan to communicate with Julian and for he, in turn, to communicate with her. _

_So far the mole she had inside the CIA was feeding Julian the operation and mission information exactly as planned but as things began to get more complicated and unscripted, depending on the outcomes, Irina had to be able to improvise and switch to an alternative plan if need be and communicate that to Julian. _

_Lastly, she wanted something that meant a great deal to her, to her mother and their heritage to leave behind to give to her daughter when she left. As a gift from a mother to her daughter once again._

_Her plan worked and when she offered Sydney, who was clearly stunned that her mother was offering help, a better plan and way to break into her own governments facility, everything fell right into place. Sydney would get the map and Julian would arrive to take it back. _

_It didn't matter if Sydney did get it as the real Manual of Operations was no where near where the map led them, but a decoy and another way to set up a series of relatively safe missions and ways for her to help her daughter, gaining her trust as well as using the CIA and SD-6 to collect the remaining Rambaldi artifacts for her. _

_When she finished and Sydney looked up, smiling at her fully before she realized what she was doing, Irina felt elated that she had been on the receiving end of Sydney's smile for the first time in twenty-one years and yet a stab of guilt at manipulating her daughter to get it. _

_She meant it when she told her to 'be careful' as even though she had set up precautions like if Sydney was captured, Vladimir would be told by Julian to let her go…no one else in that building knew not to harm her child. _

_The bullets the officers would be shooting at her and Julian and their intent to kill them, would be deathly real. _

_Julian she knew could handle himself and knew to surrender and then show his own SVR badge for release if in a dire need, and she believed in her daughters' abilities as well after witnessing her in action and knew that Sydney would do just as she expected, what she herself would do, and in that, be all right. _

_When Sydney smiled again and then caught herself but smiled at her again anyway, giving it to her without shame. Irina returned it with one of her' own._

_"I couldn't stop the worry from taking over thinking of the danger my daughter was walking into and the guilt over my manipulations of her… were now squeezing tighter around my heart."_ Lena voiced as Sydney walked away with a smile on her face, _"I kept telling myself that it was worth it in the end to have my child free from this life and safe but it gnawed at me none-the-less." _

_She stood from the glass and walked to the window even if she couldn't see outside, hugging herself and closing her eyes forcing back the tears she would not let fall. _

It was obvious to everyone in the theatre that Jack was rapidly losing control. His shaking body and quivering voice as he spoke to Barnett was proof of that.

_"The way she presents herself, she disarms you… some people have that talent. Compared to all of them, Irina Derevko is extraordinary." _

When he said that his greatest fear was losing his daughter, Judy had thought at the time, that Jack meant to some danger Irina would put her in, that he was afraid Sydney would be killed… she knew now, he was referring to losing Sydney to Irina if Irina told her the truth about what he'd done to her in regards to Project Christmas. Judy shook her head almost disappointed in herself as a doctor watching this begin to unfold, for not seeing or realizing sooner, that this was what he meant when he said he was afraid to lose his daughter.

Or at least, after Irina was taken away for apparently turning on the CIA, on Sydney, to request the matter be looked into further after Jack had come to her repeatedly to ask for her help in manipulating Sydney against her mother.

She had an inkling, nagging feeling at that time, that Jack had something to do with that, but she never followed through with it, believing perhaps she had been the one wrong and Jack really did know his treacherous wife better…but the part of her that saw him losing control over his wavering emotions being torn between love and hate for the woman who destroyed his life as he said…she should have known better, she continued to admonish herself.

The audience including Sophia who wore a funny smile on her face were all enthralled watching the now, siblings of Julian and Sydney beating the crap out of each other in the library over the map, something they hadn't witnessed really hand-to-hand combat until now, with both parties knowing who the other was.

The gunfire that erupted from the guards was expected but still made Irina cringe as Sydney ran like hell down the hallways and Julian surrendered as he was supposed to, showing his badge and giving Sydney time to hide.

_Irina had been waiting, and trying to calm her nerves with Tai Chi knowing that Sydney would be calling for her help at any moment if the plan had worked as it should. The danger her daughter would be and most likely was in now, was very real and her 'help' would be as well. She knew Sydney would never surrender and go down fighting, as would she and that thought terrified more then anything. _

_When Agent Vaughn arrived at the window looking desperate and in obvious panic mode, banging on the glass, she knew Sydney was in the trouble she knew she'd be in and had planned for. _

_There were private security doors in every office, she just needed to know which one and when everything went according to plan and Irina saw the relief flood over the young man's face in front of her, one who looked so much like one of the men who haunted her dreams… she had no idea how he could even stand to be in the same room, let alone ask for her help, when faced with the reality he believed she killed his father…and when she asked how he could thank his fathers' killer and he said 'you don't,' she felt the guilt all over again of Mikhail's death…and her continuing hurt of his family by even being in their presence, in this case, his son…who was looking out for her daughter in spite of who her mother was._

Watching any of the interactions between his son and his best friend was painfully difficult for Mikhail seeing them both hurt and struggling over his death and the different beliefs of guilt and fault behind it. Two of the people he cared most for in this world continually hurting and scarring the other whether intentional as in his son's case, angry at his father's killer, or unintentional as in Irina's case by '_being his fathers killer'_ in his son's eyes and feeling her own guilt that she was still alive when she believe he perished in Kashmir.

When Sydney slid the box into the compartment and Irina opened it to _find her mother's earrings she was almost overcome with emotion at seeing them again, almost as a security blanket as the days and nights of being imprisoned were starting to gnaw furiously at her within. _

_"I was twenty-one years old when I was given these… at the graduation from the Academy, my mother," She looked up, realizing this was the first time she had ever really spoken of her mother in Sydney's presence without a context of false pretenses behind the truth with the exception of her own age that had been altered by the KGB, "Your grandmother…" She felt choked up and saw the stunned expression on her daughters' face at hearing about yet another aspect of her life that connected them, made her 'real' and really her mother no matter how much Sydney tried to pretend otherwise, "Put these in my hands and said, Sweetheart, wear them well. You would have liked her… had things been different." _

_The endearment was that of love and pride and Sydney was blown over by this revelation that her mother, had a mother… _

_This monster person of Irina Derevko she was trying so hard to hate, had a mother…a loving mother who was proud of her… _

_Sydney felt her heart skip a beat hearing about her for the first time…her grandmother…and hearing her mother connect the three of them by saying she would have liked had their lives been different. For the first time ever, Sydney thought of the life and family her mother had…only seeing Irina Derevko as a monster alone in the world, spawned from the Devil._

_She was growing more complex at hearing 'the Devil' was in fact, her loving grandmother…who sounded like any other normal mother… and Sydney felt herself longing for that different life and a chance to have known her grandmother…her mother for that matter…that thought was immediately jarring and spurred her into action seeing her mother's loving eyes looking at her so closely and then saddened wishing the same, through the glass. _

_She shoved the map into the box and the moment was over, with Sydney's. _

_"We need you to decode the map." _

_Irina only looked up in response but knew that at least she had shared one moment with her daughter and a piece of her own mother. Her mother had given them to her when she left her alone in the world, and she would do the same with her daughter when she left her…but at least now, Sydney would know the story and the love behind them to some extent. They were given in love. _

_While Irina decoded the map, Sydney couldn't help but stare at her through the glass, fascinated all the more with the creature in front of her and repeating the story of her grandmother over and over in her head while making comparisons. _

_When she put her hair behind her ear, or chewed nervously on her lip, Sydney recognized herself and wondered if her mother had inherited that from her mother in the same way. _

_Irina's speed at decoding showed her incredible genius and Sydney was astonished yet again at the brilliance of the woman before her and what she was capable of. _

* * *

**_*How You Remind Me*_**

They all cringed when Vaughn tried to back Sydney's decision to go to Madagascar, by supporting Irina in saying she proved her value only to be heatedly shot down by Jack's rage over exactly how little he thought of her value unwilling to accept any notion that all she wanted was forgiveness.

Watching in horrid fascination as Jack met with the man in the parking garage to set up Irina as Vaughn and Sydney left for Madagascar.

_All sanity had left him only concentrating on getting rid of 'her' anyway he could. He wouldn't accept her apologies or seeking of forgiveness…attempts to redeem herself. _

_With the plan in motion he drove home in the rain, grabbing a bottle of vodka from cabinet after throwing down his jacket and briefcase, downing a large swallow of the clear liquid looking around the room and falling on a picture of the three of them together as a happy 'family.' _

_Her smiling face looking adoringly at his and his foolish face staring back while Sydney's face was a glow with happiness and then all the photos next to it. _

_Images of their life together flew rapidly before his eyes as her words of calling it all an illusion that meant little to nothing to her standing before him behind the glass, "It must have been so bad… living with me must have damn near killed you." He sneered and his hand rapidly lashed out crashing them all to the floor and throwing the bottle after it shattering it as well, screaming in rage and pain, "I loved you" as he dropped to his knees in the mess, "Are we having fun yet?" _

_He screamed thinking about setting her up, reversing the tables on whatever game she was playing now. His fingers reaching out to pick up a now soaking wet photograph of her, drowned almost symbolically in his revenge. _

_"I hate you… I hate you." Hot angry tears clouded his eyes though he refused to let them fall, "I hate you!" He screamed crumpling and ripping the photograph of Irina furious at her, and at himself for still loving her and the man he'd become, capable of this manipulation and able to kill the only woman he ever loved and he hated Irina for that even more._

The scene before them and the fact that it was almost identical to the one in the first film with Jack's return and breakdown after prison where he thrashed their house and crashed the same photo before holding it and weeping confessing that he didn't care who she was, he loved her, repeating it over and over…now his mantra and feelings were of his hate for her.

Irina was sitting absolutely still beside him, her body temperature, he could have sworn had dropped considerably as her hand became clammy and limp in his own, silent tears streaking down her cheek as she watched him breaking down with her eyes never leaving the screen as if she owed it to him to watch this torture.

She had been holding out all those years to find out he really didn't hate her, she realized watching their first interaction in the cell with an outsiders view now and then in her own reflection…having that last vestige of hope crashed with Jack's promise to kill her with pure hate in his eyes.

Jack, she realized, had also held onto a small hope, that their' life together hadn't been an illusion a lie, that it was real and everyone else was wrong. She too had crushed his hope that day by telling him it was all an illusion.

His hand let go of hers and instead reached up and gently turned her face to his with fingers to the side of her face forcing her gaze to meet his.

Their eyes locked in teary solace of remorse for so many things and both leaned in slowly together, kissing softly and resting their heads together for a moment needing the closeness and then linked fingers, a silent promise to make it through this as 'one.'

Everyone else in the theatre, especially those working at the CIA at the time, were absolutely floored to see Jack's reaction to what he'd done…why he was doing it and how deeply it was all affecting him. The tightly controlled façade they were only beginning to see unravel at work, exploding before them onscreen like a violent volcano.

Watching Sydney and Vaughn onscreen creep through the jungle, everyone was on edge knowing what was about to happen and many of them regretful of their role, knowing or not, in framing and blaming Irina.

Jack's own heart almost stopped beating seeing just how close he came to blowing up his daughter when her hand touched the door handle.

The sadness on her face, the tears…when she realized, or thought at least, that her mother betrayed her…had set her up to be killed.

**_*Stay*_**

_"We're ok, Dad, we're coming home." Sydney answered back after the explosion._

Kendall ordered the transfer of Irina to Camp Harris and everyone cringed again hearing the words, Unrestricted Interrogation.

_Irina meditated in her cell to pass the time trying to clear her mind of the worry that was progressively growing stronger for her daughter the more she was around her again and knowing the plan was only growing more dangerous. _

_She was startled to hear the stomp of boots and the whoosh of air as the U.S. Marshals entered her cell, grabbing her roughly and pulling her to her feet, so they could restrain her. She was obviously being taken somewhere but she didn't know why. Her mind began to race in question at what had happened with fear gripping her heart that it had something to do with Sydney and the mission she just sent her on…_

_Had something gone wrong and her daughter was hurt? She knew it would be pointless to ask as she'd get no response until someone informed her on their own accord and her heart began to pound at an almost deafening pace in her ears. _

_Jack had felt a sense of relief that it was over until he rounded the corner and was immediately stopped in his tracks with the sight of Irina being taken away. _

_He'd thought as long as he didn't have to see her physically being removed because of what he'd done, it would be easier to deal with his own guilt over the matter but seeing her now…the confusion on her face and even concern for what may have happened to Sydney…that look reminded him too much of his wife…which she wasn't and he turned away._

_Irina was shoved into the back of the transport once again, heart racing in tandem with her mind trying to go over what could have happened until the doors flew open and she was dragged out again, being shoved violently against her will toward a large hole in the center of a concrete floor. _

_'No, no, no, no, no!' Her mind screamed in panic as she fought back against them as they neared the dark hole, trying to back away from it. The images of her time in Kashmir flooded her memories and she fought desperately to keep them compartmentalized losing control._

_A guard whipped his baton into the back of her legs and brought her crashing down to her knees before slamming his elbow into the side of her head, temporarily stunning her enough to drop her body into the hole. Irina hit the dirt ground six feet below with a thud and temporarily had the wind knocked out of her. Slowly she staggered into a sitting position and then felt the cold stone walls surrounding her as she struggled to her feet. Her hand reaching up to feel the warm blood trail running down her forehead from her hair line where she'd been hit. The sound of the heavy metal door above closing brought back her sharp focus as she looked up and through the circular door closing out the only source of light with a single tiny window in the center, no bigger than a 4x6 inch photograph. Angry eyes glared back at her as the lock was secured._

_Whatever happened; was not good if she had been put into the hole of solitary. Desperation took over and she called out, "Where am I and why?" _

_Images of her time in solitary in Kashmir continuously escaped their compartments in rampant flashes as well as her interrogation torture ran through her mind immediately at realizing where she must be and what they were going to do, she at least wanted to know why._

_The guard looked at her with searing hate of his own, having only heard the why just before she arrived. He thought about not answering, as he was certain she must have known why and was playing dumb. _

_But something in her eyes made his mouth speak without permission._

_"Where is none of your concern but the why should be obvious. You lied…you said the house was clear and we sent our agents in…nothing left of the bodies." _

_Irina gasped her hand flew to her mouth, "Sydney…" She felt as though her heart had stopped, time frozen in this horrific moment. _

_"She was your own daughter." The guard looked at her with complete disgust and slammed the tiny window above shut echoing loudly in the silence as the world around her went black with no more light._

_Slowly and on trembling legs that gave out, she slid down the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face, sobbing silently to herself and shaking uncontrollably._

Hundreds of images and sounds surged through Irina's mind of Sydney beginning with her pregnancy and all the way through to the smile she'd given just before she left on the mission in a matter of seconds as her daughter's life literally flashed before her eyes and the darkness of the cell eventually took over and they faded out as the camera pulled back.

Jack, Kendall and Sydney all felt like they were having their hearts ripped out knowing their parts in this and feeling the surge of guilt as tears began to fill their eyes seeing Irina's struggle to keep control and everything compartmentalized and losing it believing Sydney had been killed.

None of them, except Katya, had known that Irina had believed that Sydney had been killed in the explosion. She'd never said a thing to either Jack or Sydney and they both realized, it was probably because she hadn't wanted either of them to feel any further guilt over the almost execution because of it.

They knew why, she was trying to protect them from their own horror and guilt that she had been led to believe she in some way killed her own daughter…another child lost because of her.

_"I thought there might have been a chance…to believe she had no hidden agenda…everything you said was right. And I was so stupid," Sydney cried in Jack's arms, "and I'm sorry Dad…I'm sorry that I doubted you." _

_Jack felt guilty for taking away her mother again, seeing the pain and sadness and quickly replaced with anger he directed at Irina for forcing him into it, making it her fault Sydney was hurting because she had caused Sydney to care about her…it was the only way he could live with himself. _

They watched in horror as it cut back to Irina being interrogated at Camp Harris. First, she was water-boarded while they taunted her with the fact she blew up her own child and asked, _what kind of mother would do such a thing?_ And then put through sleep deprivation locked in her tiny dark hole projecting endless pictures of Sydney at all stages in her life and old home movies playing on loops with Sydney's tiny voice crying out in the dark '_Mommy_' in excitement over and over and over as she threw her arms around Irina's neck in one old movie followed by the image of the explosion on the satellite radar with sound effects of explosions and descriptions of the charred remains they pulled out. They'd stripped Irina naked, bound her tightly in a fetal position and shoved her in a box with knees and arms bent for endless hours, then doused her with freezing cold water as they asked her relentless questions about the explosion in Madagascar she had no answers for. Her reluctance to provide any answers only increased the amount of torture they put her through.

Watching her go through this as they demanded to know 'why' when she had no answers was painful to all involved in sending her there. They watched the hollowness on the screen slowly consume her vision once more as Irina had completely shut down, retreated into herself and gone to the place she hadn't visited since Kashmir.

Vaughn suggesting that it may have been Jack that was indeed responsible for Madagascar was not welcome news to Sydney and watching herself lash out at him onscreen, she felt badly for her reaction when he was only trying to help.

_"He never trusted my mother's motives. You think my father wired that entrance to set up my mother? We were nearly killed! If there was interference on our Coms..."_


	27. Chapter 27

**_AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Nothing Else Matters _by Scala & Kolacny Brothers_, In The End _by Linkin Park_, Say All I Need _by One Republic,_ Every Breath You Take _by Sting_ , Walk On _by U2_, Time _by Sarah McLachlan_, Solitude _by Evanessence,_ With or Without You _by U2,_ Stay _by Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko_, White Flag _by Dido._  
_**

* * *

TWENTY-SEVEN

o

**_*Nothing Else Matters*_**

_When they finally informed Irina it wasn't Sydney and Vaughn who were killed but two of her own agents, inside she sobbed in relief that her motherly instincts and connection were indeed right when hadn't felt that her daughter was gone from her heart. Irina had second-guessed those instincts wondering and believing that they were most likely gone now, as she hadn't been in touch with her child for so many years. Her joy and relief were pushed down deep as her own hate and resentment of Jack began to surface, realizing he must have set her up, coming through on his promise to eradicate her once more from Sydney's life. She only hoped her daughter would come to the same conclusion but as the days passed, and she was informed she would be tried, she realized that hope was quickly dying with each passing minute. _

_They had removed her from her tiny dark hellhole in the ground to an above ground cell without explanation nearly two weeks after she'd been sent there. _

_After pacing her new cell relentlessly the night before her trial was to begin, Irina had decided there really was only one thing left she could do if Sydney didn't discover the truth soon. She would certainly be delivered a Guilty Verdict at the end of it anyway. What was the point in going through it and having Sydney see it, destroying any kind of feeling Sydney may have had for her with it? For her daughter to see the images and fabrications of the agents they all believed she had killed… potentially exposing them as well? _

_There really was only one option and she knew Life In Prison was worse than death. 'Plead guilty and be put to death… a quick death.' She had taken a gamble in turning herself in; she hadn't counted on Jack's level of hate and the lengths he would go to but it had been worth it, she decided resolutely smiling softly watching her lawyer leave and thinking about Sydney smiling at her once again. _

_She had seen her daughter and just for a moment, gotten to know her a little more… and her daughter, a little more of her. The only thought that tore Irina apart, was that Sydney would go on believing her own mother had tried to kill her and never know the truth. The whole truth…or how much she loved her, forever and always._

Sydney meeting with Will in the park followed briefly when she told him that her mother was going to be put on trial and they were going to seek the Death Penalty.

_"The only way I'm able to deal with it, is to tell myself that woman was never my mother." _

Hearing Sydney say what everyone in the audience already knew couldn't be further from the truth, only added to the sadness of how screwed up this situation had been with all the lies and secrets and painful beliefs on everyone's part.

Sydney believing Irina was never her mother; never loved her and had tried to kill her. Jack believing Irina had never loved him and everything had been an illusion and Irina believing Sydney didn't love her and Jack only hated her.

Watching Sydney do reverse hypnotherapy believing it had been Irina who had programmed her with Project Christmas and then learning it was actually Jack was heart-wrenching for everyone to watch but especially her parents who had never felt like bigger failures watching their daughters' discovery and anguish at realizing that both her parents had twisted and manipulated her in someway.

Even Julian was feeling for his sister in watching how it was exactly she had found out. Irina had told him when he was ten years old what she had done to him and what that meant and they spoke of it again when he insisted on joining her organization at seventeen and she tried to talk him out of it. At least she had been honest with him and he made the choice knowingly to enter this life, Sydney had no idea. He found himself being angry on Sydney's behalf that she'd been hurt, as his protective brother instincts were continually growing stronger to a level that even surprised him.

When Sydney confronted Jack in the rain after realizing Vaughn had been telling the truth everyone had unshed tears in their eyes at seeing how utterly alone Sydney felt in the world and Jack's guilt was flipping wildly inside watching her reaction and remembering.

**_*In The End*_**

_Sydney finished wrapping the tape around her hand and stepped into the early morning sun lit gym, placing one hand on the bag to steady it and seeing a flash of her father's lying face before her she immediately punched it. _

_One after another in a progressively quicker pace she rained blows from her fists to the bag in the empty gym, hot angry tears falling down her cheeks. She had trusted her father, and he'd lied to her…not just lied but manipulated her, her whole life. _

_She was his project, his little spy that he'd groomed to perfection and she'd been so naïve. _

_All this time she thought it was her mother she had to be worried about manipulating her when in truth it had always been her father. Her knee collided with the bag as she brought her whole body into her high intensity workout. _

_Images and memories of her childhood and his distance then, their fights…all made sense now. He wasn't around because he didn't care…he never loved her and she was only something that belonged to him…a reminder of her mother, the woman who betrayed him. _

_She'd tried so hard…first in her childhood and then in the last couple of years to connect with her father and in the end none of it mattered. She was so quick to judge her mother for her betrayals but her father's had been just as devastating if not more… he had manipulated her against her own mother, using her like a pawn and meaning so little to him in his quest to frame her mother that it didn't matter if she was killed in the process. _

Her mother was the one on trial now when it should have been her father. He was the one who betrayed her, manipulated her and now she was responsible for putting her mother on trial, the one parent in a surprising twist that had been telling the truth. The one who had protected her and kept her safe.

_Images of all the times Irina had helped her over the last few months repeated in her mind. She screamed in anger and dropped to her knees exhausted, bloody knuckles and ripped tape hanging loosely around her hands as she hugged the bag with her face buried in the crook of her arm and cried. _

_"Death by Lethal Injection…" the sentence echoed through Sydney and silence encompassed her as time seemed to stand still staring at the monitors and Senator Douglas. _

Sydney and Jack battled it out next and Sydney tried to stop the execution only to have her efforts thwarted by her father. Their fight on the plane was damning and jarring to them both and everyone else now as they watched it in the theatre.

_"I spent a decade with this woman… and another twenty years analyzing how she could have deceived me for so long… trust me when I tell you, I am protecting you." Jack tried to justify his reasons. _

_"No you're not." Sydney challenged his real motivations, "I think you loved Mom so much, that when she left you, you lost your soul!" _

Jack's astonishment at the statement was clear as he was caught off guard when she threw the truth at him, followed by her own tragic beliefs… that he looked at her and only saw the culmination of his greatest mistake.

Watching the dying man call out to her onscreen self, Sydney felt another stab of guilt knowing it was her, not her mother, who had infected this man with the disease when she blew up her mother's lab. Her mother had brought him to this hospital in her desperate search for a cure believing Sydney to have been potentially infected and wanting to save her.

It was amazing how truth shed light on the realities of the past.

President Bush was feeling his own extreme guilt and disgust when Vaughn delivered the news to Sydney that Jack was being sent to prison and Irina was still going to be executed in spite of learning she did nothing wrong to violate her agreement. He was angry at his Administration and himself for not paying closer attention that they would just blatantly ignore the fact that Irina had been providing crucial Intel, in spite of her intent and that they were going to execute her anyway. Prior the her Execution, he hadn't paid that considerable attention to the inmates cases on _Death Row_, going only on his advisors suggestions of what to do and after Irina, his policies had changed and he took a harder look at each person and case before sentencing them to die.

**_*Say All I Need*_**

Sydney's heart all but stopped seeing her mother now dressed in the orange jumpsuit of a _Death Row_ inmate on screen as the scene changed. Very vividly and instantly she recalled seeing it for _real_ during her last moments with her mother before her Execution almost a year later in the same room.

_Now she awaited her death, in less then 12 hours she would be dead. Irina had been told that Agent Vaughn and Sydney had discovered the truth and Jack had indeed set her up and that they had tried to stop her Execution but to no avail. _

_The only solace she took in this as she paced her cell was that Sydney knew the truth…and had tried to save her. The only thing that mattered now was that she had connected again with Sydney on some level…had those precious few minutes. _

_A small smile graced her lips, hugging her arms around herself nervously as tears filled her eyes and she blinked them back. So many times she had escaped death and knowing it was inevitable now, and out of her hands…she felt an almost eerie peace. _

_Jack sat in his own cell, staring at the wall of bars in front of him and letting his head fall back against the wall behind him. _

_He'd been informed that Irina's Execution was going to go ahead anyway, in spite of his confession and he had wanted to believe it was as it should be, she should be punished for the destruction she'd left behind in her wake, he kept telling himself. _

_The only problem with this was that his heart held an ache and guilt, a sadness that would not leave as his mind flashed with old memories of their life together. Since she'd been back, his dreams at night were more vivid than ever and the love for her he'd buried down deep long ago kept creeping closer to the surface. Having her around him again was dangerous… _

_This wasn't the woman he'd shared a life with, he shook his head and turned on his bunk, flopping down and covering his eyes with his arm. _

_Irina Derevko was a lying twisted bitch who deserved the death that await her. The woman he loved died long ago and he would not let the presence of this woman, taint his memories of the old. They were not the same, she was not Laura and the sooner Irina was gone from their lives, the easier it would be again. He could live with a prison sentence if that were the price to be paid for having her gone._

_"You're free to go." A guard called out, and Jack jumped up startled watching the man unlock the cell door. _

_"What?" Jack wasn't sure he heard the man correctly and his eyebrows pinched together confused._

_"The charges have been dropped. You're free to go." The guard gave him a small smile and stepped out of the way, allowing Jack to pass. _

_Irina had been staring at the cement blocks in front of her as she had been for hours awaiting them to come take her away. _

_Meditation was elusive and she spent the time thinking about her life and the choices she'd made that brought her here. She thought about her family, Katya and Dmitri, Julian and smiled softly knowing that they would be okay and probably safer and better off without her complicating their lives…but mostly, her thoughts were on Sydney._

_When the guards approached with restraints she felt the swift kick to the gut watching them come in for her; death was immanent in a matter of minutes and she held her head high in spite of the sudden fear now gripping her. Her mind suddenly short-circuiting back to Sydney and those last moments with her and wishing she had told her that she loved her. She never had the chance to tell her, the timing hadn't been right and now it was gone. _

_One of the guards saw her sudden paleness and the look in her eyes and realized what she thought they were doing. _

_"You've been granted a Stay… you're being transferred back." He gave her a small smile looking at her eyes light up and quickly looked away, not wanting to be caught smiling at the beautiful prisoner he was glad wasn't being executed either after learning she was innocent of the original charges and actually framed. _

_Sitting in the darkness of the transport, and knowing the guard in front of her couldn't see her face, Irina smiled in relief as tears filled her eyes. Sydney had found a way to save her. How she did it, didn't matter to Irina, only that she cared enough to. By the time she reached her glass cell again she was surprised to find herself relieved at being back in this cage again. She was exhausted and the last couple of weeks had taken a tremendous toll on her. Meditation would be useless and Irina didn't care if she fell asleep and dreamed this night, as she laid down on her bunk, still wet from the rain and now staring at the wall. _

_Closing her eyes with a faint smile letting sleep and whatever demons await claim her… none of that mattered, tomorrow she'd get another chance. _

Sydney's face was the last image in her mind before she fell into a deep sleep, unaware that her daughter was standing over her behind the glass watching her.

_Sydney decided looking down at her mother who looked so peaceful sleeping and no doubt exhausted if she hadn't even heard the clang of the gates when she entered, that from now on, she would try to give her mother more of the benefit of the doubt. _

_Not that she still wouldn't be cautious as she still didn't trust her, but not immediately believe that her motives were only that of evil intent. She would no longer let anything her father said in regards to her mother, cloud her own judgment and from now on would make her own conclusions about her mother._

_As unaware as Irina was that Sydney was watching her, Sydney was equally unaware that she was being watched by her father on the monitors, his face studying the scene before him with equaling intensity. _

_He knew he'd be lying to himself if he said part of him was relieved to find out Irina was given a Stay of Execution, but then again, when wasn't he lying to himself these days? He didn't want to think about that or the 'why' he felt relief and said it was only relief for Sydney and that was all. He knew his daughter was intrigued by her mother and as much as that thought terrified him, he could also relate for as much as he wanted to remain aloof to Irina Derevko, it seemed her pull was equally as great on him and he found himself consumed more and more with thoughts of her. _

* * *

_When Agent Vaughn first mentioned the liquid from inside the Red Ball and the disease it carried, Irina's heart almost stopped fearing that he was there instead of Sydney seeking the cure because her daughter had indeed been infected. _

_When she realized it was he who was actually infected, and he asked for the cure his words of 'you owe me my father's life' rang in her mind. She did owe it to Mikhail to save his son as much as she was doing it for Sydney. _

_It had become rapidly clear in the last few encounters with this young man that he cared a great deal more for her daughter than mere friendship or as partners. So much so in fact that in spite of the fact he believed her to have murdered his father, for Sydney, he had saved her life. _

_The more she interacted with him, the more she realized how much alike he was with his father. He had agreed to tell her what she already knew to be true in exchange for the information on the anti-dote though she knew he wouldn't be the one going after it._

_She had seen the bandages on his fingertips and if the disease had already progressed that quickly, more than likely it would be her daughter going after the cure. That also meant, Sydney, instead of Agent Vaughn or Jack would be making the deal with Julian over Sloane. _

_Whatever doubts she had that her daughter might not be willing to kill Sloane in order to save Agent Vaughn's life were immediately released from her mind when an almost breathless Sydney appeared at the glass with a look of sheer terror gracing her features in worry for her partner's life. _

_In that moment, Irina knew that her daughter was just as much in love with Mikhail's son as he was with her. _

Watching the scene now, Sydney caught something in her mother's wording that she hadn't paid attention to then, so concentrated on saving Vaughn.

Irina in speaking of the base where the cure was manufactured had actually said, '_graciously accepted our offer'_… 'Our' Sydney repeated in her mind shaking her head remembering, but not really thinking about it as she watched until now, that her mother was the Head of the Russian government even at that time and was speaking on behalf of her country making such an offer.

Everyone else in the audience had also picked up on the same thing and the jumbled reality of everything only became more fascinating and unbelievable.

_Julian had been surprised when it had been Sydney that arrived at the base seeking the cure, not Jack Bristow or Agent Vaughn as he and Irina suspected. _

_Whomever was infected it didn't matter as it was obvious to him that if Irina still gave Sydney the information and location of the cure, that she still believed the plan for Sloane would work. _

Watching himself onscreen and hearing that he had actually tried to manipulate Sydney again against Irina by saying she hadn't or wouldn't even consider murdering before her mother came into her life when Vaughn's life was on the line made Jack sick and even more disgusted with himself.

He was grabbing at straws then, trying to blame everything on Irina in his own attempts to continuously believe she was nothing but evil. That he was still preaching this to his daughter after just setting her mother up in a pre-meditated situation in his own evilness for what was essentially _murder_, was priceless and he wished he could go back in time and punch himself or encourage Sydney to at least.

Bella had been absolutely horrified to know that all of this had transpired and her son almost lost his life without her ever knowing and reached over, grasping his hand and holding it tightly with tears streaming down her cheeks watching Jack telling him onscreen that he was saved by Sydney having Sloane murdered and then watching him tell Irina of his feelings for Sydney.

Sydney was absolutely fascinated watching her mother and Vaughn's conversation about his feelings for her, for the first time and her mother encouraging him to break the rules and follow the ones of his heart.

Jack was equally amazed watching the interaction and then the moment that followed between his daughter and Vaughn, shaking his head that he must have been absolutely blind, or caught up in his own love crisis mess with Irina, to see what was so blatantly obvious to everyone else, including his wife who had yet to see the two of them even in the same room.

**_*Every Breath You Take*_**

_Jack had been watching the monitors of Sydney's interaction with Irina and heard her request to leave as well as witnessed the loss of control when Sydney challenged her about the 'why' which only made him more suspicious of her motives. _

_She was up to something and he would prove it and throw as many roadblocks in her plan as he could. She may have had their daughter starting to believe in her sincerity but he knew better. _

_Sydney of course wasn't happy with his manipulations of Kendall in shutting down her request to let her mother free but at this point, what Sydney wanted or if she was angry with him he didn't care…protecting her from whatever game her mother was playing was more important. _

_Sydney left for Uzbekistan more than pissed off at her father and he watched Irina pace continuously in her cell obviously upset at being denied what she wanted. Jack was going to enjoy pressing her buttons and making her life hell as she had made his. He smirked a little, happy with himself as he left the office that evening._

* * *

_"I love you, Jack… never forget that." She looked deeply into his eyes speaking in barely a whisper and her eyes darted to his lips lying next to him on their bed. _

_"As I love you…" Jack responded just as she closed the distance, "Irina."_

_Jack had been dreaming and immediately bolted upright in bed. He was covered in sweat and panting hard, running a hand through his hair and scrubbing his hand over his eyes he quickly turned to look at the space beside him, sighing when he saw it empty just as it had been for the last twenty years. _

_His heart continued to race as his own words and the image of her face replayed in his mind, it was a memory from their past, one he was familiar with as it often had stalked his dreams just as many other moment from their life had over the years but this…this was the first time he'd called her Irina, instead of Laura. _

_'No! This couldn't be!' He angrily scrubbed his hand over his face again and jumped out of bed, reaching for the bottle of vodka on his dresser and unscrewing the cap. _

_"I don't love her… I never loved her… I never loved 'Irina…" He whispered in the darkness, shaking his head trying to convince himself and separate them in his mind, keep them separated. _

_He had known and loved Laura…Irina was nothing but an imposter, someone who looked like his wife and that was all. She destroyed his life…they were not the same. _

_"It was all an illusion…she never loved me…it wasn't real." _

_Irina's words began to echo through his mind reinforcing his thoughts and mantra as he took another large drink and let the alcohol burn through him. _

* * *

Everyone in the audience couldn't help but snicker in spite of the seriousness of the situation watching Irina and Kendall once again butting heads over going after the nukes with him demanding she go and her refusing to leave now in an ironic twist.

When she casually demanded her pillow and blanket completely ignoring him they all laughed even as he was threatening her with solitary again and she just looked at him with a smug smile.

_"If you were telling the truth when you said you wanted to protect me, then, Mom… I need your help." Sydney pleaded with Irina, knowingly manipulating her mother by calling her Mom for the first time since the night in Taipei when she first stepped in the room. _

_Irina was overcome with mixed emotions at hearing Sydney calling her Mom again, asking for her help and looking at her with hopeful eyes colliding violently with images, sounds and smells of her time in Kashmir and the absolute terror she felt in going back, especially after what she'd just been through again in Camp Harris. She hadn't had time to thoroughly compartmentalize everything again since those boxes had been ripped open and feared she wouldn't be able to control her reactions._

_But looking at her daughter, knowing there was no way she would let Sydney go anywhere near there without her, she would go and do whatever it took to protect her daughter in spite of what she felt. _

Watching the scene now onscreen, seeing the tears in her mother's eyes and watching her lip quiver slightly as the flashes from Kashmir ripped through her mind in those seconds, Sydney felt a wash of extreme guilt in manipulating her mother into going back into that place, twisting her with the use of calling her _Mom_ for the first time and saying _if she wanted to prove she wanted to protect her she would go…_

Seeing now, exactly what went through her mother's mind in those moments and knowing her mother as she did now, her heart was breaking and Sydney wished with everything in her that she could go back in time.

Julian was having similar thoughts, tears burning his own eyes and feeling the guilt and wishing he could reverse time.

_A flash of Gerard holding Sydney's picture above her face as she was chained face down on his desk was the last image to rip through Irina's mind before she quickly snapped it off and closed the box, immediately looking up into Sydney's eyes and nodding. There was no way she would let that man anywhere near her child. _

_"Ok… I'll go." Irina gave Sydney a small forced smile and blinked back her tears as Sydney smiled in return having no idea what that place meant to her mother. _

_"I am not about to allow Irina Derevko near six nuclear warheads supervised only by you." _

Jack demanded onscreen and everyone laughed with Sydney challenging him back.

_"Plane leaves in an hour." _

* * *

_Irina was in her cell contemplating her return to Kashmir when she heard the door to her cell open, surprised when she turned around to see Jack. He was walking towards her with a necklace in his hands and her heart began to beat rapidly at being so close to him without the separation of glass for the first time in decades. _

_The fact that he was basically threatening her with blowing her head off only added to the chaos in the electricity of the room the nearer he came. She had no doubt in her mind now that he wouldn't hesitate to kill her; that his threat was not empty after he tried to have her executed. It only made the electricity pop around the cell. _

_The sexual tension surrounding them through the intensity of the hate didn't surprise her as much as it should have and she knew that behind the darkness in his eyes, she also saw the flicker that as much as he wanted to kill her… he also just wanted her. _

_A fact confirmed when she felt the bolt of electricity shoot through both of them as his fingers lightly touched the skin of her neck securing the deadly necklace and his gaze locked with her own, time standing still for a moment until they heard the click of the door opening. _

Everyone burst out laughing at the bickering on the plane to India between Jack and Irina and Sydney having to be the mediator.

_"You can't jump down her throat every time she opens her mouth…"_ Sydney admonished him onscreen and Jack snickered from the audience.

"To be honest," Jack leaned over and whispered into Irina's ear so that only she could hear, "I just wanted to jump you. Strangle you, yes. As you were driving me insane pushing all my buttons but jump you, too."

"I know you did. Why do you think I kept pushing them?" Irina turned and smirked at her husband, kissing the corner of his mouth and using her thumb to wipe off the lipstick with a small devilish laugh, "I loved being able to get under your skin."

Everyone erupted in full blown laughter again seeing the look on both Sydney and Jack's stunned faces when Irina kissed him after receiving the compliment on the necklace that Jack had threatened to blow her head off with.

The insanity of the dynamics in their relationship at this time, were more than intense and amusing to everyone. The escalating sexual tension between the two clearly lighting up the screen in an exciting dangerous way edging closer and closer to that fine line and tiptoeing back and forth from love to hate and back again.

"Holy Jesus…" Weiss whispered and then gulped, all men in the theatre simultaneously shifting in their seats when Irina onscreen removed her shirt exposing her perfectly chiseled body to Jack for the first time in twenty years and stood waiting for him to hand her the clothes and Sydney's eyes widened like saucers having no idea that any of this took place in the room beside her.

_When Jack turned around and almost jumped with wide eyes seeing her standing before him in nothing but her bra and skirt, Irina saw the look of desire flash through his eyes before he quickly looked away… she smiled enjoying his reaction and then some when he quickly took a second glance. _

_She was certain that if she lit a match at that moment the room would incinerate with the amount of heat emanating from them both. _

_The light kiss on the lips in the train station only added fuel to the ashes of their love still burning in glowing embers somewhere inside her, threatening to ignite again at any moment. _

The incredibly sexually charged bickering continued and heightened when Irina and Jack argued over the jump in the train car and everyone once again exploded with laughter at the comedy between the two.

_"I'd offer to go first but I don't want to be accused of trying to escape!" _

Sydney's telling them both to '_shut up'_ and then jumping before Jack grabbed Irina and threw her out of the train had most of them practically rolling in their seats and many with tears in their eyes.

"What a goddamn circus." Kendall whispered under his breath before sharing a look with Judy and then chuckling extremely intrigued more than ever to witness the actual events of this mission knowing how it changed the Bristow family dynamic forever.

The comedy only continued with Jack's obvious annoyance with Irina's abilities to read people in distinguishing their guide's heritage just from hearing him speak as well as his refusal and her easy compliance to not let her be armed.

The humor was immediately lost and replaced by sounds of disgust when Sloane had his own wife's finger mailed to him as part of his sick manipulation.

The mood only continued to darken when Jack, Sydney and Irina were all ambushed by the People's Revolutionary Front and their guide executed.

_Irina had to think fast. She knew that these men had no idea who she was and that she was an actual partner in the operation they were currently trying to protect but she couldn't give herself away to Jack and Sydney by telling these men this. She also knew that once they'd robbed them of their explosives and equipment, they would find the same fate as the their guide and be executed. _

_The only way out of this situation was to kill these men before they killed them. The only weapon she had on her she realized, was the C4 necklace around her neck and in order to use that and not have Jack blow her head off in the process, she needed them to realize her motives. _

_Glancing down when caught Sydney's eyes, she was glad her daughter immediately picked up on the idea and gained her father's attention, bringing it back to her mother and the necklace. Jack realized what they wanted to do and knew it was their only hope, knowing their executions were coming rapidly as well. _

The audience gasped as the slow motion sequence began of the three of them working as a team, with Jack pressing the detonator and Irina ripping it from her neck, throwing it and blowing up the jeep while Sydney and Jack punched out the guards and all hit the ground with a thud from the blast.

**_*Walk On*_**

_Irina had been the first to recover and jumped into action without thinking, picking up the nearest gun and firing. It didn't take Sydney or Jack time to follow suit and soon the three of them had mowed down the rebels. _

_Out of the corner of her eyes Irina saw Sydney grabbing her side and going down beside her, fear instantly gripping her that her daughter had been shot she was on her knees kneeling in front of her in seconds, forcing Sydney to look at her tilting her chin up._

_The scene before Jack sent instant flashbacks of Laura doing the same thing with Sydney when she was little and had skinned her knee or hurt herself in some other way. _

_The sight of Irina doing it now with the same love and motherly devotion roiled his gut as the two images of the same woman continued to merge in his mind. _

_Unwillingly to allow that to happen, he rapidly trained his gun on Irina demanding she drop her weapon, even more angered when Sydney tried to object and defend her. He knew Irina was right with what she was saying and that they did need to start trusting each other under the current circumstances but that in no way implied he was about to let her continue to confuse the clear cut image of her he had in his mind. _

_She was Irina Derevko, not his wife or Sydney's mother and she was not to be trusted. _

Seeing the images of herself flash through Jack's mind in that instant, Irina saw just how hard Jack had been trying to keep the images of her separate and realized it had been getting harder and harder for him to do so as she continued to show him they were always the same.

Will was floored watching them onscreen disappear into the darkness and flames remembering the brief conversation he'd had with Sydney upon her return and the joke between them of how surreal her life was at times. Seeing the actual visuals of that mission only expounded on that fact.

The audience laughed again when Jack and Irina both told Sydney they couldn't stop and she did so anyway, disregarding anything her parents had just said and again when Jack immediately freaked out with '_where you going'_ to Irina as she walked just steps away from him to grab some berries.

His paranoia at this point was comical though at the time, to him at least, it was anything but. The look on Sydney's face watching her parents work together to take care of her wounds was not to be missed though both her parents had at the time.

The longing and love she had for them both, seeing them both taking care of her if even for a moment meant a great deal to her and carried a great significance even if she didn't realize it.

_When they boarded the train and Jack handed Irina the bottle of Indian Rum, the minute she took a sip her mind flashed with the memory back to the night she and Jack had shared a bottle of something similar and almost burned down the kitchen. _

The rapid flashes of their laughter and then of passion as he lay her on the table quickly flickered across the screen.

Sydney felt herself blushing even though a tight smile graced her features and she heard Weiss's snicker a couple seats down having just seen the Cookie Monster picture getting crumbled under her parent's ambitions.

**_*Time*_**

_Irina smiled with the memory having not thought of it for quite some time and shaking her head and surprised when she saw Jack's face soften and a small smile appear on his lips. _

_"I know what you're thinking." He smiled as his own mind was suddenly assaulted with the same images and then the smoke filling the room and their laughter and scramble to put it out._

_"Do you?" She asked with an almost hopefulness seeing from the look in his eyes, he most certainly did. _

_"The toaster." Jack answered breaking into a full smile at her for the first time and hearing her laugh and seeing her full smile for the first time in decades, his own heart would not stomp out the feeling of joy in remembering that night, a lifetime ago. _

_Sydney was completely fascinated hearing her mother laugh for the first time and her father actually smile at some secret they apparently shared and wanting in on it. _

_"What are you guys talking about?"_

_Irina immediately took another drink of the stinging liquor, avoiding the answer and letting Jack take the lead in how they were going to share this story, intrigued almost as much as Sydney to see how he would recall such a memory now._

_It had been fun going back and forth with each of them cautiously telling this tale without revealing too much even though the glances they shared told them both exactly what the other was thinking and seeing, remembering. _

_Forgetting for a moment that they were supposed to hate each other and what they were even fighting for. _

_Recalling that memory had been an unexpected source of happiness and relief to Irina as they made their way to her own private hell but that too faded when she saw the fallen look in Jack's eyes as the story finished and realized, he believed that night must have been part of the illusion she had told him it was. _

_She wanted to tell him it hadn't been, and had meant as much to her as it had to him, that it was real…but in doing so, she would only expose herself and make her vulnerable to being hurt again and she couldn't afford that, especially now. _

_She wouldn't let Jack do this to her, reopen all these old wounds and confuse her even more… _

_She was supposed to hate him, that she knew how to handle…feeling anything else was too dangerous._

_Watching Jack get up and leave the train she knew he too was struggling with the same dilemma. _

_Both knew it was better if they were enemies; everything else was just too confusing in sorting out the illusions from the truth. _

The somber moment was broken again when hysterical laughter broke out first seeing Jack in a beard and then watching him bickering with Irina only to be scolded by Sydney once again and watch her lay down the law.

Another bout of laughter rang out when Jack stuffed Irina in the grain bin and Sydney asked if he was sure she could breathe and the look he gave her in response.

**_*Solitude*_**

The camera moved inside the small hot space with Irina inside the grain bin where she had her knees pulled up, face buried in her arms.

_Irina was struggling to compartmentalize the newly erupting feelings stemming from old ones that had been released along with other memories on the train and the memory of the happier times in her life now lost. _

_Her mind flooded with memories of the countless times she'd told Jack, 'I love you, Jack… never forget' and his own responses and declarations of 'I love you, Laura.' _

_She knew the painful truth was, he had loved Laura and hated Irina…and he truly saw them as separate people even though she was both, they were the same. She wanted to scream in frustration and shake him demanding that he accept and see, they were always the same person, she was always Irina! _

_That it was Irina who always loved him, she was real. _

_'Can he really be so blind not to see that all along it was me?' She felt like screaming, feeling hot tears run down her cheeks._

"_There was always a part of me_," Lena's voice narrated sadly over the scene and images, "_During our marriage that I had to hold back and keep from him or risk exposing myself…my name and only my name really. But that small part of me lived in an unbearable solitude that yearned to be the name he'd say as he made his declarations of love to me…for every time he said 'Laura' instead of 'Irina.' I'd be reminded that as much as he loved me and I him, the difference was that I knew he would never truly love 'me,'… me, as Irina. He would hate Irina and that knowledge had always terrified me. For he would never see that it was always me and in that I would forever be left in my solitude, knowing that the hole in my heart always aching for his love for all of me, would never be mended."_

_A small sob escaped Irina with that admission and she felt her walls trembling threatening to crash under the stress of ripping open this old wound as well as trying to cope with going back to Kashmir. _

Most had silent tear tracks trickling down their cheeks and those who didn't were furiously trying to blink back their tears learning this truth of what had been going through Irina's mind and how she felt now that her compartments of buried emotions were breaking open threatening to consume her.

Jack once again turned Irina's face to gaze into her blurry eyes with his own, unembarrassed by the silent rivers running down his cheeks, his heart bleeding for this past hurt.

"I'm sorry." He whispered his apology again. He would have never imagined that this is what had been going through her mind those five hours in that grain bin.

"It's not your fault, Jack." Irina gave him a small smile, wiping his tear tracks with her fingers.

"No, but once I did learn the truth of your name, I kept denying what I always knew in my heart. I always knew that all along it was you…I do love you, Irina." He whispered quietly back, more tears filling his eyes and emotion choking his throat as her image onscreen began to battle with compartmentalizing and preparing herself to go back into Kashmir.

Irina leaned in and captured his lips softly, letting her warm kiss linger and then gently brushing their noses as she once again cleared his tears.

"As I love you, Jack…never forget that." She smiled and saw his own small one at hearing her repeat the words she had always said, always meant as all along it _was_ her.

_Irina pulled herself together and forced herself to calm down, taking deep meditative breaths of the barley stained air and refocusing her energy on the mission that lay ahead. _

_Carefully, and one by one she was reigning in her emotions and memories and either shut them off or lock them up able to do so now after years of practice. _

_She would not let the nearness of Jack or the remembrance of a life long lost or even returning to the depth of hell distract her from keeping Sydney safe as well as accomplishing the mission. _

_Instead she focused on how they were going to be getting into the prison and she recalled in her memory each step and mine location going over it ever so carefully, seeing the plans lay out before her once more. _

_When the image of her pressed face down on top of the plans on his desk while Cuvee rained down his destruction of her from behind flashed into her mind she immediately zoomed in focusing on the plans beneath her instead, just as she had done in those moments. _

_When Jack opened the lid and the bright sun shone down on her she was ready to go. Just as she expected, the filter had clogged and they were still too far away. _

_Tired of listening and following Jack's lead just because she was his prisoner she battled back and took over; sick of being under his thumb just because he could keep her there. _

_This mission was too important to be playing on power trips. She wanted to get in and out, found herself actually looking forward to returning to her glass cell when compared to this. _

_One step in front of the other she led them through the mines, keeping her attention away from the hell she was leading them towards and what had happened to her there by maintaining idle chit-chat with Sydney and asking random questions about her life even though she already knew the answers thanks to her own tabs she'd kept on her daughter. _

When the firefight broke out and Jack was hit then fell on a mine, the audience watched breathlessly in their seat as Irina saved his life and then led them on towards the prison; watching as they made it safely through and then descending into the sewer tunnels and up through the ventilation.

Mikhail could only watch with tears in his eyes as his own memories of their escape attempt flashed back through his mind remembering how desperately they were trying to escape that hell only now, watching Irina going back in.

_Irina immediately jumped into action once inside the prison drawing out a map to direct Jack and Sydney to where they needed to go and what they needed to do and how to get it done as quickly as possible so they could leave. _

_Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears she was certain they could hear it and when Jack refused to let them split up she felt her calm exterior and walls behind to tremble. The thought of taking Jack into Cuvee's office with her was unacceptable in her eyes. _

_When he said he was far from trusting her and that she had been an 'Officer with friends willing to help her' she wanted to break into manic-laughter at the absurdity of that statement. _

_The word 'friends' echoed through her head, as did the images of the Officers raping and torturing her pushing her over the edge of control. _

Watching the scene and the tears in her eyes and the trembling in her voice, both Jack and Sydney felt tears burning their eyes at being able to see now, what Irina had been thinking and why she was losing control in that moment.

They could still feel the punch in their gut as they did in that moment of her admission to them in an almost desperate plea of being a prisoner rather than an Officer.

_"Why do you think I learned the sewage tunnels…or memorized the mine locations? So I could escape you idiot…" _

_She had never intended to tell them that but there was no way she was taking Jack with her into that office or take the chance of taking too long and being caught by Cuvee and having him anywhere near her daughter in this place. _

_Sydney was watching with the same astonished eyes as she did that day as Irina quickly recovered and refocused on their mission once Jack agreed. _

To see her mother loose control and be vulnerable had always unnerved Sydney and she dreaded witnessing for the first time the interaction with Cuvee before they caught her and her father in the lab.

_A large portion of the prison had been upgraded and redone since she had last been a 'guest' Irina realized, making her way through the halls, seeing freshly painted walls and equipment that was a sharp contrast from the dungeon-esk steel and concrete she remembered in the old Soviet days. She supposed that was Gerard's doing as he was so found of neat and tidiness, he would most certainly have made any space he was occupying now comfortable and to his liking now that he had a wealth of money to draw from. _

_She was headed towards his old office and about to ascend the stairs when she heard voices and took cover behind the corner. _

_From the door across the way she saw Cuvee laughing and conversing with a guard as they left what appeared to be his new office heading in the direction of labs. Her breath caught in her throat at hearing that laughter, in this place, coming from him and she forced herself to concentrate. _

_As soon as they were gone, she slipped into his office and set down her gun, locating his computer immediately. _

_Just before she took a seat, the door behind her sprung open to reveal Gerard looking at her very perplexed and then breaking into an enormous smile when she smiled at him. _

_"Mr. Sark didn't say you'd be joining us today." _

_Her heart pounded loudly in her ears and she calmly slipped her mask on making her way towards him and taking him by the hand, acting on impulse, "I'll explain later but right now, you've got visitors." _

_"What?" He asked, tagging along behind her still smiling like a lust filled idiot but doing as she said. _

_"Yes, visitors right now who are stealing the nuke chips. I think Sark is trying to double-cross us. He took on a new partner." Irina whirled around to face him, having decided this was the best course of action, "The CIA has sent Jack and Sydney to foul our plans; they're stealing them right now." _

_She wanted to pummel him for the smug grin that took over his face at hearing Jack and Sydney both were in his grasp and it only widened when he looked at Irina, his perfectly reprogrammed machine now turning on the precious family in the very place she had held fast for an exhaustingly long time trying to protect. _

_"We can't have that now can we." Cuvee smiled and yelled at his guards all of them storming into action. _

_She hated the look of betrayal and sadness on Sydney's face and the instant anger and regret on Jack's when she stepped into the room behind Cuvee. She smiled as if she were happy to betray them for Cuvee but was hoping when he turned away that they could read in her eyes, that all was not as it appeared to be. _

_Somehow, she would get them out of this._

Jack was all but ready to throw himself at the screen, feeling his free hand forming into a fist watching Cuvee with Irina in the man's office. The disgusting way he looked at and touched her…kissed her. His own mind flashing back to the times that man had inflicted misery upon his wife in that place.

Sydney was once again in awe of her mother's strength and courage in being able to handle herself so calmly with Cuvee after what he'd done to her.

Katya had to smile in spite of the circumstance watching her sister performing a skill she had perfected at age six… pick pocketing.

While Cuvee was busy sticking his tongue down Irina's throat, her 'roaming' hands had just relieved him the keys to Jack and Sydney's cells and handcuffs.

_"Come my Little Minx," Cuvee grabbed her hand kissing her knuckles before leading her to the door, "Let's go have a chat with that pathetic specimen who once dared to call himself your husband." _

_Irina threw him her famous Cheshire cat grin and gave him a playful laugh following his lead with steely determination in her eyes, only not at torturing her husb-… Jack, she quickly corrected herself, astonished she'd even let that thought occur, Cuvee thought but how to find a way to keep Jack alive and help him escape. _

_She knew Jack's despise for her ran deep and saw it reflected in his eyes the moment she stepped in the cell with him and Cuvee, listening and saying nothing while Cuvee had his rant and poking Jack with partial truths. _

_She also saw the hurt replace the despise in his eyes when Cuvee boasted that he, not Irina, had chosen Jack to be her target. Only she knew that was not entirely true. _

Seeing Cuvee handle her mother like that again onscreen sent a chill running through Sydney as she watched the scene play out with her father and then their escape. The thought of that man still sent a wave of nausea running through her.

_"Fighter planes are in the sky…you have to leave now." Kendall tried to warn, relieved they were alive but still conscious of the fact they could die any minute. _

_"Not until we get my mother." Sydney immediately insisted. The thought of leaving her behind to die in the air strikes was absolutely unacceptable in her eyes._

_Jack felt the same panic at leaving Irina behind that Sydney did and wasn't about to leave her there either. Especially since she'd just saved their lives…for the second time on this trip. He'd just gotten her back, he wasn't going to let her die again…_

_"The assignment from the CIA is to bring her back, that's our job." He tried to justify his reasons with Sydney, knowing that they must have sounded as lame to her as they did to him. _

The audience couldn't help but laugh, thinking the same thing about his excuse and seeing Sydney's surprise at her father's fierce determination to retrieve her mother.

Watching the opening of the flower and the escape from the air raid was an adrenaline rush leaving everyone holding their breath until the chopper was in the air taking them back to the Indian air base.

* * *

**_*With or Without You*_**

_The Indians on the base had been kind enough to let them shower and clean up before they caught their plane home. _

_Jack had showered and waited for Irina to leave the bathroom, giving her some privacy and secure in the fact she couldn't escape as the bathroom had no windows or exits other than the one to their room. He sat on the end of the single bed with crisp military sheets resting his elbows on his knees and scrubbing his hand over his tired face with a sigh, looking at the handcuffs he gripped in the other. _

_His mind was going over the events of the last couple of days and the flashes of Irina on the train, her smile and laugh mixing with those he held of Laura and he shook his head at how ridiculous it was of him to think of them as separate people. _

_He always knew they were the same, but believing everything she put into Laura was a lie had been easier for him to hate her. The more time he spent with her now, the more he realized not everything had been fabricated. He heard the sound of the shower turn off and knew she'd finished behind the door in front of him. _

_That single piece of wood was all that separated him from the woman he couldn't live with, but also without. He hadn't wanted to accept that fact until he was presented with leaving her behind to die in the air strikes. Hate her…or not, in that moment he knew, he couldn't stand the thought of losing her again. _

_Irina had finished dressing in the fresh black and blue prison uniform that had been packed for the return flight and gazed at her appearance in the mirror. Her heart still pounding over the fact that he'd come back for her…she had given him an out, a way to escape and he'd come back for her, refusing to leave without her. _

_She knew it was foolish to think it meant anything more than his need to take her back into custody, not wanting to let go of his prisoner…but part of her couldn't help but feel there was more there. _

_Something about the way he looked at her after knocking Cuvee out and then again when he came out of the bathroom where she was waiting under the watchful eyes of Agent Vaughn. _

_She sighed in frustration angry, at herself as she finished, "Don't go there again you fool…Why do you care what he thinks about you?" She whispered, berating herself._

'_Because you love him_,' Her subconscious in the form of Lena's voice immediately answered for her surprising herself and instant tears began pooling in her eyes, '_And you want to believe he still loves you, too.' _

_A small sob escaped the back of her throat and she quickly swallowed it, blinking back the tears furiously and closing her eyes, taking a calming breath before pulling open the door to face him. _

_Jack was startled from his thoughts when she appeared before him. Her wet locks hanging over one shoulder already forming the curls on the ends he used to love to play with and his gaze was momentarily locked onto them. _

_Irina knew what he was looking at and what he was thinking about and quickly brushed her hair over her shoulder, out his sight. Her own eyes going to the handcuffs he held in his hands as he stood and she sighed; her moment of freedom was over. _

_Jack saw the look in her eyes and followed her gaze from the cuffs in his hand to look in her dark eyes and felt a sense of guilt he knew he shouldn't, over restraining her again. _

_"You're no longer wearing the necklace and according to the agreement with the FBI…you have to be restrained in transport." He was about to add, 'I'm sorry,' but stopped himself, refusing to let himself be sorry to her for anything. _

_Without resistance which almost made it worse for him, she set the bag down on the floor beside her and held her wrists out to him, her gaze locked onto his, studying his face and making him entirely uncomfortable. _

_He snapped the metal bracelet on one wrist and turned her arm gently, forcing it behind her back and stepping behind. His hand reached out and slid down her other arm to take hold of her wrist, closing his eyes as the touch of her skin beneath his palm once more set his senses on fire. _

_Thoughts of whirling her around to face him and kissing her deeply entered and were quickly shoved from his mind. With the click of the last cuff Irina opened her eyes having felt the same feelings wash over her with the gentleness in his touch. _

_A small smile graced her face before she turned to face him; that touch telling her so much and yet leaving so much to question. _

_Without words he picked up the bag beside her, still impossibly close to her and needlessly invading her personal space. His senses were on overload from the jasmine in the shampoo still lingering in hair and the softness of her skin beneath his fingers; the heat radiated from her body…_

_He wanted to shake himself to get a grip and took hold of her arm, first roughly in his anger at himself and then easing off when he looked at her before guiding her out of the room. _

_"Dad!" Sydney was immediately unhappy seeing her father leading her mother already in cuffs towards the plane, "What are you doing? Why are you cuffing her now? She was fine on the flight here without those!" __She waved her hand in the general direction where Irina's hands were restrained behind her._

_Jack swallowed hard feeling the guilt again but stood tall. _

_"It's standard protocol Sydney. She didn't need them on the flight here because she was wearing another security device." __His eyes automatically went to her neckline where the necklace was now missing and instead saw her pounding pulse point. __A flash of kissing it and the spot below her ear from the past suddenly gripping his mind and he swallowed hard, looking away._

_"Her arms will go numb held behind her back like that for this long of a flight." Sydney argued upset, knowing he was right and throwing a sympathetic look her mother's way. _

_Irina smiled softly at her, surprised at Sydney's defense and caring where she was concerned._

_"I know…which is why I'll re-cuff her once we're inside so that they are in the front." He looked from Sydney to Irina who gave him another complacent smile. _

***_Stay (version 2)_***

_The moment they were inside the cargo plane and it began taxing down the runway, Jack removed the key from his pocket turning towards Irina who was sitting just beside him, their gaze locked once again as he leaned in impossibly close so that they were actually touching, chest pressed to chest and faces inches apart he slid his hand down her arm and unlocked one of her wrists. _

The audience broke into instant laughter when the shot immediately cut to Sydney and Vaughn's wide unblinking eyes staring at the two directly across from them with looks of astonishment before cutting back to Jack and Irina.

_Instead of releasing her hand and letting her bring her own arm around, Irina was surprised, when Jack held onto the still restrained arm and brought it slowly around to the front of them in the very narrow space between them as he backed slightly away. _

_Instead of re-cuffing it to her free hand now held out to him in front of her, he placed the cuff around his own wrist and slowly snapped it shut. _

The audience once again bounced back with soft tear-filled laughter in between the seriousness with the reactions of Vaughn and Sydney whose mouth was slightly open now seeing and feeling the heat between her parents…who supposedly _hated_ each other.

_Jack's justification for this move in his mind was that it was a better way to keep Irina restrained, not allowing her to run off, which was a ridiculous thought since they were now in the air, but also allowing her the use of at least one free hand. _

_"So you can't get away from me," He said in almost a whisper staring directly into her brown depths. 'Again,' was left unsaid but Irina knew exactly what he was really saying. _

_He was tethering her to him with metal and chains…a supposed unbreakable restraint. _

_The symbolic gesture was not lost on Irina, nor Vaughn who was not happy at all with this closeness and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. _

_Sydney was too obliviously happy thinking about the events of the trip and seeing her parents getting along and not bickering to really catch what was slowly happening between them._

_With eyes still locked on hers, Jack turned back and away from Irina, tearing his gaze away and leaning back against the bulkhead in the plane. _

_An uncomfortable silence washed over the plane and soon Vaughn took control by asking them to tell him exactly what had happened. The recanting of the tale had been done almost entirely by Sydney with great enthusiasm while Jack and Irina listened quietly, a small smile gracing Irina's lips as she saw her daughter smile again. _

_Pain of the emotional kind shot through her when her cuffed hand accidentally brushed against the back of Jack's and he shifted in his seat, pulling away from her as if burned and in doing so, unintentionally brought her hand with his into his lap. _

_A smile of amusement quickly replaced any sadness when he whipped their hands back off his lap into the space between them again. It was obvious to her Jack was just as conflicted about how he felt though her touch was definitely getting to him._

_Not long after that Jack asked Sydney to replace him beside Irina, he quickly removed the link to Irina and not waiting to see his daughter secure the cuff to her own wrist, bolted for the bathroom in his own need to escape Irina…or rather the feelings he was being hit with sitting so near her, connected to her in anyway again and trying to understand why he saw that look in her eyes again._

_'Why had she saved him, twice?' He locked the door and splashed cold water on his face leaning on the sink and trying to reign in and stop his emotions and thoughts. _

_"Don't go there you fool, she's manipulating you again." He whispered quietly to himself, looking up in the mirror and catching his gaze. 'Is she? Be honest.' His heart countered while he looked deeply into his own gaze, letting the voice he never let speak these days except for in his dreams, 'What are you more afraid of, that she's manipulating you again or that she isn't? That maybe it wasn't all an illusion?' His mind suddenly flashing back to the train and then to the night he'd come home from India all those years ago, 'Or maybe what really scares you…is that you've realized you're still in love with her, in spite of everything else?'_

**_*White Flag*_**

_"No." He immediately scolded himself and shook his head, picking up the towel and running it over his face, "No." __Jack looked at himself again with steely determination in the mirror, unwilling to accept any of those ideas. __'Yes, you do,' His heart countered back before fading away and being locked up again._

_When he opened the door again, Sydney was just beginning to doze off with her head lulling to the side and slowly, slid down the wall until her head was on her mother's shoulder._

_Irina's heart almost stopped at the contact and then immediately sped up; turning her head just enough to see Jack and inhale her daughter's scent in such close proximity without waking her. _

_Seeing Jack staring at them and she gave him a small smile in their old parental language that said, 'please…let her be.' _

_The last time they had this silent conversation was when Sydney fell asleep against her in bed while reading Alice and Jack had come up to find them that way. He knew by the look in his wife's eyes and the warmth of her smile, she wanted their little girl to stay and to let her be; leave her to sleep peacefully beside her. _

_Another image and memory clashing violently with the present unsettling Jack yet again in his desperation to try to keep them separate and believe it was all an illusion. _

_The fact they could still speak to each other without words was equally damning in his eyes. _

_For a brief moment, he almost went over and woke Sydney to spite Irina, not wanting to give her anything…not even this. _

_But the look of peace on his daughter's face after the last rough couple of days won over his heart and he silently took a seat across from them next to Vaughn who had just noticed the position of Sydney and Irina. He was about to go wake her completely uncomfortable and horrified at the sight but felt the pressure suddenly on his knee stopping him. His gaze traveled from the large hand there to Jack's intense eyes watching the older man softly shaking his head 'no.' _

_For a moment, Vaughn thought about doing it anyway and then turned back to look at them, saw Sydney out completely and nodded his concession. _

_He kept his intense glare on Irina while hers remained on Jack, giving him another small smile of 'Thanks.'_

_Irina held her intense gaze with his, trying to figure him out. He didn't have to give her this moment, but he had…something he wouldn't have even considered just two days ago. _

_When he broke his gaze with hers she smiled shyly wanting so badly to lean her head over and kiss Sydney's head like she did when her daughter was little but knew she would be pushing it. Jack and Vaughn she both knew, were trying to justify leaving Sydney asleep for her daughter's sake, and if they saw that she was enjoying it too much, or stepping over the bounds they deemed acceptable, which was currently just the use of her shoulder as her daughter's pillow, they would wake Sydney. _

_She also knew, looking at Jack that she couldn't silence her conscience anymore. She did love him. She always had and she always would…and as much as she kept trying to fool herself that she didn't, she was doing only that, 'trying.' _

_She was in love with him and always would be…regardless of how he now felt for her and knowing that there was no possible way she could ever come home…she destroyed that when she left the first time. _

_That life was gone, over before it ever really began when she introduced herself as 'Laura' instead of Irina. _

_Thinking about things that would and could never be only made her insane and she looked away, closing off those emotions the best she could, remembering why she locked them away the first time. They made her vulnerable and she couldn't afford that. _

_She was here for a purpose and so far, she glanced down at Sydney's head lying against her, it was working. She was gaining her daughter's trust again…just as she planned for and this trip, just as she suspected, had helped to make a giant step forward in that progress. _

Sydney was watching the entire scene with fascination having only learned recently, that she fell asleep against her mother on this flight.

Seeing her father's mind flashing back to a similar moment just before her mother left and then still allowing her to remain sleeping against her mother in spite of how tormented he was at that time with keeping the images of her mother as Laura and Irina separate…showed her just how much this trip really had begun to change the way they all thought about each other, especially her parents whom it seemed began to really realize during those couple of days that they really did still love each other, even if they continued to deny it or wish it away from fear of being hurt.

She saw that they were realizing then that what had been between them before was still there: _love_. It was just buried deeply in both of them.

She was actually disappointed watching when just a few moments later on the screen, she woke with a start as the plane hit some turbulence.

Once again the awkward silence reined over the foursome and all were happy when the plane landed in Van Nuys.

* * *

_Irina had never been so relieved to see her cell again when they walked her past the glass barrier and led her inside, smiling when she saw her pillow and blanket waiting._

_A breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding since she learned she'd be going back to Kashmir finally let go now that she was back here and away from there again. This prison was like heaven in comparison…and the best part, Sydney. _

_She wheeled around to face her daughter as the doors closed behind the Marshal. _

_A new confusion and desperation for answers could be seen in her daughter's eyes as she stepped closer trying to unscramble what new things she'd learned on this trip. _

_One question…one truth that Irina couldn't bear to go on without an explanation any longer was why she shot her. The image immediately assaulted her again and she felt an overwhelming guilt and sadness seeing it play out once again in slow motion in her mind. _

_Holding back her tears she was determined to explain and forged her way through it the best she could while she held Sydney's attention. _

_"Shooting you in the shoulder, giving you time to escape…it was the only way I could think to maintain his trust and keep him from killing both of us." She offered up the only explanation she could and it still felt weak, that she should have been able to come up with something else without having to shoot Sydney. _

_Seeing Sydney staring at her so intently, and being overly tired and emotional with the accumulation of everything: Kashmir, Jack, Cuvee and Sydney… Irina was afraid that if she didn't send her daughter away now, she would break down and cry in front and she knew Sydney was equally exhausted, reading the fatigue in her child's eyes. _

_"You should get some rest." She gave her a small smile; her motherly care and concern ringing clear. _

_"You too…" Sydney nodded in agreement thinking over her mother's explanation; that she'd shot her to protect her…and the events of the past couple of days still fresh in her mind, hearing her mother's concern for her well-being even now, she smiled adding an offering of the truth she had not expected, "Mom." _

_The wash of emotion hearing Sydney call her 'Mom' again was almost too much to contain and she gave her daughter a brilliant smile in response without thinking. _

_Her happiness was immediately cut off when she remembered that she would be leaving…and she would lose her daughter again. _

_Seeing how happy it made Sydney to call her that again, smiling as she walked away was as heart wrenching as anything she'd ever felt with the conflicted emotions colliding inside her. _

_For the moment Irina chose to concentrate on one simple fact, her daughter had called her 'Mom.' Had looked right at her, smiled and gave her back her title...accepting that she was her mother, always had been. _

_The tears would not be stopped now that Sydney was gone and Irina closed her eyes, dropping her head and let them fall in this bittersweet moment. Gaining her trust was one thing…but seeing the look in Sydney's eyes, hearing it in her voice and seeing it in her smile, she was also regaining her daughter's love, too._

_How was she ever going to be able to walk away from her again?_


	28. Chapter 28

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): One Night in Bangkok (Radio Edit) **_**by Murry Head**_**, Blue **_**by La Tour**_**, I Love You **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, Gravity of Love/O Fortuna **_**by Enigma**_**, Kissing You (Instrumental) by**_** Desiree from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack**_**, I Will Remember by Amy Grant, Stay **_**by Rihanna feat. by Mikky Ekko**_**.**_

* * *

TWENTY-EIGHT

o

Everyone had glints of tears in their eyes watching the monumental moment between mother and daughter, especially Sydney at seeing her mother's tears just after she left that day…how much that moment had meant to her mother, to have her call her '_Mom_' again and after their trip to Kashmir. How emotional that moment really had to be for her mother then, to be returning from such a hell where they had stripped the title of 'Mom' away from her the first time, and with Sydney unknowingly giving that title back to her upon their return now.

Her need to be close to her mother again came raging back seeing those tears on the screen and knowing what was coming next and she reached up, wrapping her fingers around her mother's neck and pulling her forehead to her own, closing her eyes and just holding her there.

Irina was overcome with the same emotions at remembering that moment and let go of Jack's hand to wrap her own around Sydney's neck in the same way to hold her child close.

"I love you, my Darling Girl," She whispered first in Russian and then English.

"I love you too, Mom," Sydney smiled, and repeated it in the same way.

Irina held onto her that way until Sydney released her first.

The scenes of Sydney recanting the adventure to Will played behind them onscreen and the audience laughed over his sarcastic responses before coming back to Sydney and Irina that day on the roof.

"Only fifteen minutes twice a week?" Ann whisper-shouted in astounded horror that was all Irina was allowed to be outside and several others had similar thoughts.

Kendall was suddenly feeling guilty in that maybe he should have at least given her a half hour, twice a week…seeing her as anything resembling a dangerous enemy, was getting extremely hard to do now…even watching this film during the time she would betray them and had played them all with her dubious plans.

_Irina had spent the time since she last saw Sydney contemplating her life and the decisions that led her to the point where she could ever have left her own child. The desperate need to explain herself to Sydney was pulling at her heart with an unbearable weight._

_"I need you to understand," She finally broke and the tears welled in her eyes knowing that she may never have a chance alone with her daughter without being separated by a glass barrier, "I was eighteen when the KGB recruited me…"_

"I thought she was fifteen?" Sophia whispered to her mother a bit confused and startled to see her mother was already crying.

Katya remembered Irina telling her this story and knew what was about to happen on the screen.

"She was, My Darling," Katya palmed her daughter's cheek and then grasped Sophia's hand, kissing her knuckles, "But the CIA didn't know that and Irina couldn't tell them. To do so would give them more reason to look into her background and discover who she really was."

_"…I was a fool to think that any ideology could come before my daughter," Irina cried revealing her greatest regret in life. _

_Sydney couldn't believe her mother was saying this and how much it sounded like her own reasons…that she now stood before her, crying and revealing her regret and pain at leaving her…was too much and she couldn't stop her own tears. _

_She didn't want to breakdown and cry in front of her, not wanting to show that weakness and how much knowing that one thing, that she regretted leaving her, had gotten to her. So she turned away…_

_Irina knew Sydney was running away overwhelmed with her own emotions but she couldn't let her go…not now. Not in this moment. Her heart pounded rapidly and breath, stolen wanting so badly to reach out and hold her in her arms again. _

_"Sydney…" She called out and watched her daughter turn around, crying. _

_That was all that she needed and didn't think, just acted and reached for her, wrapping her to her tightly in her arms for the first time since the day she left. Sydney didn't resist and in spite of hearing the guards immediately yelling at her, she held on a bit longer feeling Sydney's arms wrap just as tightly around her. _

_A contact too long denied, ending too soon. _

_The reality of their situation crashing down as they stood apart with arms in the air, both with tears running down their cheeks. _

Everyone including Kendall, had tears pricking their eyes watching the dramatic scene and he rubbed his fingers over his mouth and chin leaning against his hand, shaking his head sadly at how everything went down.

Judy reaching up and taking his hand, linking her fingers with his and giving him a teary smile of support, knowing he somehow thought it was his fault that the Marshals interrupted.

Irina was surprised to hear Julian taunting Sydney in Paris and that he actually said he thought of her as his mother, admitting that to Sydney before he ever admitted it to her. That the two were both jealous of each other's relationship with Irina was clear to everyone on this mission trip especially when Sydney denounced any curiosity of her mother or the time Julian spent with her by saying she '_wouldn't be baited with stories of a woman she never knew_' when it clearly irked her.

_When Jack approached the glass of Irina's cell he had prepared himself to be completely emotionless with her. To not let her get to him in anyway and show complete indifference this time as he was angry that he'd let himself slip with her before on their trip to Kashmir. _

_Irina was manipulating him, of that he was certain and he wouldn't let her get to him again. _

_He knew she was planning something and would eventually be gone again. How? He wasn't certain, but she was too much of a free spirit to turn herself into be locked up for the rest of her life. She was born to run, that much he knew…or at least he thought he did. _

_Visions of her jumping into his arms after her morning run, sweat soaked curls pinned to her face and a smile lighting her eyes as she kissed him before getting ready for the day blazoned across his memory and Jack shook his head to clear the image of the women then looking at the woman now._

_Her love of running could have been part of the illusion as well, he reasoned. _

_There was a fear inside him, something he didn't want to admit to even himself, but the thought of her leaving his life again got to him…_

_The offer he was about to extend to her stemmed from that fear. He'd offer her the 'illusion' of freedom…and hoped she'd take it. _

_What he hadn't been prepared for was to be broadsided with the idea that they were still married. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind as he'd been trying so hard to separate Laura from Irina in his mind. _

_He was widowed by Laura…but he wasn't, really. She was standing before him in the flesh of Irina. _

_He also wasn't prepared to see her smile over that fact or then apologize when she saw what must have been a look of horror run across his face with the suggestion. _

_"I'd be lying if I didn't say the look of absolute horror on Jack's face at the thought of still being married to me didn't weigh in some way in making my decision not to confess my plans,"_ Lena's voice narrated over the image of Irina pacing in her cell and then leaning against the glass with a sigh, _"I looked at him and still saw the man I fell in love with all those years ago; he looked at me and only saw lies and deception and the greatest mistake in his life. I didn't think I could live with seeing that look on his face on a regular basis. There would never be again what was and I couldn't live with an illusion. He was right in what he said about Sydney. For as much as I loved my daughter, and would die to keep her near me, to stay…it would be for my own selfish reasons instead of what was best for her." She crossed her arms over her chest; letting her head, rest against the glass with tear filled eyes, "And the best thing for her was to keep her safe at all costs. I needed to stick to the plan. The plan to get her out of this life and to confess my plan would be to ruin the only chance to do that…I wanted her to have a life…a life without danger and where she could openly love whomever she wanted without secrets and lies and rules. Jack had said that Sydney had spent most of her life without me…and she would get used to it again. As much as that thought pained me, I also knew it was true…and for the best."_

_Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the clanging of the gates and saw Jack coming towards her._

_"When I told Jack I had turned myself in to make up for past mistakes I wasn't lying to him."_ Lena's voice narrated over the scene, _"Even though I knew I could never make up for those mistakes...if I could at least get Sydney out of this life then I would… Not surprising was Jack's questioning of why I didn't deny his offer immediately, though the look on his face when he told me we were indeed still married was. _

_The horror at the thought was no longer in his eyes anymore and instead I saw the same flicker of a longing I had for the past that would never be again. Though I wouldn't admit it to myself, telling Jack I was okay with him debriefing me was as much a way to satisfy my want to be near him again as it was a way to start rebuilding some trust with him to further my plans."_

Everyone who knew the story laughed watching Kendall's questioning of Irina not trusting her with the CIA network and she didn't deny he shouldn't. Seeing the terrified look on the CIA employees faces while they watched her walk in had already been laugh worthy in what was once a serious situation.

The tension quickly returned as Jack found himself in trouble with Ariana Kane and Marshall was tortured by the evil doctor but was gone the minute Dixon yelled, _"Are you ready to party_," on the rescue mission and everyone burst into laughter including Director Chase who had tears in her eyes seeing her boyfriend Raving only to continue roaring as Sydney teased him and he answered with, "_I speak nine languages and techno is not one of them." _

The tension and fighting that followed in the scenes between Sydney and Vaughn before her mission to Paris was lightened only by Weiss's first appearance in this film when he returned from Medical Leave after being shot in the neck in Barcelona.

_"What's up with you and Syd?" He asked Vaughn when Sydney stormed out of Ops and it was clear something had happened. _

_"Nothing," Vaughn tried to deflect still fuming inside over the situation. _

_"Hol-ly hell!" Weiss gasped taking an immediate seat at the desk across from them with eyes glued to the screen, "Is that-" _

_"Irina Derevko. Your shooter." Vaughn sighed and looked at him with a cocked eyebrow recognizing the look of lust on his friend's face, "And Sydney's mother." _

_"Yeow! Hot Ma-ma!" Weiss snickered in fascination having never_ _before seen her in person, "My God, she's beautiful…" he shook his head in wonder._

_"And deadly." Vaughn added perturbed, "She's a cold blooded murderer, remember? And you were almost added to the list that includes my father." _

_"I know man, I'm sorry," Weiss felt a bit guilty and his eyes flashed to Vaughn and then back to the screen, "I know what she did to your Dad…its just…wow!" He exaggerated his words still stunned as he watched Irina on the monitor drop to the floor and start doing pushups, "Well, it's easy to see how Syd ended up so gorgeous…and why Jack fell so hard…and never recovered." _

_His last words died off in a whisper when Vaughn nudged him as Jack headed towards them and veered off clearly concerned about his own issues at the moment. _

_To say that Irina was surprised when Jack asked for her help with Kane would be an understatement. _

_Irina couldn't help but smile as she worked off tension with one push-up after another. He didn't have to, but he chose to come to her…wanting to brainstorm as they did so many years ago to solve a problem. _

_Her blood was already hot and pumping wildly through her veins when she heard the gates ascending and the echo of his footsteps though she did not stop until he stood in silence behind her and the whoosh of the cell door closing behind him clicked into place. _

_Jack couldn't take his eyes off her and swallowed hard as her muscles rippled beneath her skin and caused an aching burn to fuel inside him. He wanted her. Badly... and started having second thoughts about quickly turning around and leaving as this was obviously a horrible idea. He couldn't stop his eyes from darting from her to the bed. _

_Irina could feel his eyes on her and she smiled as she stopped, pulled her legs under her and whirled around to meet him with the same soft smile. _

_"So where are we going to do this?" She asked blowing a strand of hair from her eyes._

_"Excuse me?" Jack gulped with wide-eyes as a flash of him taking her on the floor suddenly popped into his head. _

_Irina almost laughed at seeing his startled expression but unsure why, "I asked where we were going to do this, Jack? Are you going to sit on the floor with me here or-" She motioned to the cement space she was sitting on as there was nowhere else for them to really sit and work._

_Jack's mind again lost focus and flew back to the fantasy of him taking her on the floor and quickly cut her off. _

_"No. I'll go get us a table and some chairs," He gulped back peddling until he hit the door and then turned quickly, banging on the glass to get the guards attention to let him out. _

The audience was erupting in laughter watching Jack's fantasies and panic as the electricity in the cell was clearly sizzling. Even Sydney giggled through her embarrassed red cheeks to see her father freaking out in such a way.

_Irina had no idea why he was suddenly so flustered but looking him up and down with her own pounding heart and heated blood her own mind started to dance with a flash of passion. _

_Jack suddenly decided he needed something else to soothe his cravings and quickly looked back to Irina who was still sitting on the floor. _

_"I'm going to order us some take-out…what would you like?" _

_"You're letting me choose?" Irina smiled, standing up and genuinely touched he was offering her this small but greatly appreciated gesture after months of prison food. _

_Jack nodded softly, his heart bouncing madly in his chest and feeling a familiar ache just looking at her. _

_"It's only fair to let you choose since you're helping me." _

_"Chinese." She smiled surprised he'd even have to ask, as it had always been her number one choice._

_Jack felt a sudden thud in his gut hearing her response, a dreaded response as it cemented yet another part of Irina with Laura. _

_"And what would you like?" He barely choked out._

_"Are you really asking me that?" She smiled but threw him her famous quizzical eyebrow. She had always ordered the same thing. Had he really forgotten? How could he?_

_"I don't want to assume." He responded quietly breaking off and looking at his feet briefly before banging on the glass once more in irritation and finally seeing the guard approach. _

_He was scared of her answer he realized and yet another truth revealed he didn't want them to share. _

_"Sesame Chicken." Irina answered quietly staring intently at Jack with her head cocked to the side slightly studying him and his reaction. _

_As soon as the 'Sesame' had left her lips Jack had closed his eyes and dropped his head slightly, sighing and refusing to look at her by the time she finished with 'chicken.' _

_"Ok," Jack nodded quickly seeing her reflection in the glass as she suddenly hugged herself with her arms. "I'll be right back." And as quickly as he had arrived he was gone._

_When he came back the guards had brought with them a steel table and two chairs and Jack already had the food in hand. _

_They set to work immediately going over everything and he was fascinated by the way her mind worked, realizing how much he'd missed how they were able to feed off each other and come up with thoughts in rapid tandem. _

The flashes from both Jack and Irina onscreen of venturing minds and escalating sexual tension had the entire audience laughing in hysterics and Sydney groaning loudly when one particular fantasy flash of Jack pressing Irina back against the wall flashed forward, vividly remembering the real encounter still etched in her mind.

"So that's where that idea came from!" Weiss howled with laughter slapping his knee and looking down the aisle at Jack and Irina, "Taking care of some _unfinished business_!"

Those who weren't present that day had no idea why that particular fantasy flash was so hilarious to some members of the group but everyone in the theatre's attention was quickly on them, feeling as though they'd missed something.

The laughter died down when the not-so-funny moment of Irina telling Jack to scan the security footage for possible leads revealing to him that's where she used to meet her handler.

_"I knew from the look on Jack's face, it not only reminded him of who I was when I was his wife but I could also see the hurt in that he 'assumed' the worst. Believing that when I met my handler in a hotel, I'd sleep with him as well as hand over information, cheating on him as well as spying. I didn't feel it was right to correct him in his assumptions. If he saw me as nothing but a KGB whore, then to him I would be, as I deserved whatever he thought of me. I could at least give him that even if it wasn't true." _

Jack was absolutely horrified to hear that's what Irina thought she deserved then, even he had honestly never thought of her as a 'KGB whore' even if others had tried to beat it into his brain or he called her it in moments of panic when he wanted to hurt her before she hurt him.

She had been right though, that he had wrongly assumed that she had indeed been sleeping with her handler and it disgusted him that he was so quick to jump to conclusions about her then.

Even if he didn't have any logical reason to believe anything she said then and had every right to believe the worst of her, his heart had always told him that when she was with him, she loved him and that was never a lie. It just took him too long to listen to what his heart knew all along.

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers earning a small teary-eyed smile from her in turn and she pulled his hand towards her own lips, repeating the gesture.

They had come so far since that day and she'd have never dreamed it ever possible; she smiled running her hand over Lena's sweet little cheek as she lay sleeping on Jack once again and then over her giant belly where the babies were starting to wake up.

The fall of SD-6 and Sydney's rescuing of Jack in just the knick of time left them all breathless before tearful when Kendall gave Sydney her ultimatum to stay and keep working for the CIA or lose her rights to see her mother.

Watching Irina's painful rejection to keep seeing Sydney if she stayed, taking herself out of the equation was excruciating to watch. Especially watching her break down with silent rivers of tears after doing so and hearing Lena's voice repeat the reasoning they already knew.

_The whole point in doing all this was to free Sydney from this life and now in a painful twist, her daughter was thinking of staying because of her love for her and not wanting to say 'goodbye.' _

_It had been days since Irina had learned that Sydney was staying at the CIA after being blackmailed by Kendall. Irina was regaining her devotion to capturing Sloane and it had been hours since speaking with Jack about going after Rambaldi's Manual on the Human Heart, moreover, her heart. _

_Now she paced in her cell anxiously awaiting his return to find out if Kendall approved her release once again. With too much tension to work off, she once again dropped down and started doing push-ups. _

_"I had twenty years to reflect on that woman's ability to deceive, trust me…if she lies to me again, I'll know it."_

Jack onscreen confidently convinced Kendall and it had been the truth.

_He absolutely believed he would know if she lied to him and he also knew, that letting her out for this trip was somehow part of her plan. He also knew, that for whatever she was planning, she meant what she said in wanting to get Sydney out of this life and he only hoped that whatever she was up to, at least she'd help him eradicate Sloane from Sydney's life. _

* * *

_"Seventy-two, seventy-three…seventy-four," Weiss counted with a smile, another agent standing over his shoulder and Kendall and Jack just off to the side as they approached waiting for Marshall to arrive with the tracker, all watching Irina doing pushups in her cell on the monitor._

_"Seventy-five, seventy-six!" Weiss shouted gleefully and clapped the other man on the back, "Pay up buddy, you owe me lunch! I told you she'd break seventy-five!" _

_"She always goes over a hundred and fifty…" Kendall looked at them with confusion as if to say, 'of course she'd at least get to seventy-five.' _

_"Yeah but he didn't know that," Weiss smirked and Jack rolled his eyes noticing Marshall hurriedly approaching._

The other man onscreen quickly shot Weiss a dark look and everyone laughed, including Irina who did find it amusing in a way that they had been betting on her as much as it perturbed her. She supposed that had to do with the fact that it was Eric Weiss doing the betting and in that, it was okay.

They all laughed out loud witnessing Marshall's first encounter with Irina and the memorable 'Princess and The Pea' moment that the majority had only heard about, now happy to see.

* * *

**_*One Night In Bangkok*_**

Watching as the camera cut to Irina looking into a mirror and applying bright red lipstick with the subtitle of '_Bangkok_' beneath her, Weiss and everyone else broke out in hysterical laughter when the first notes of the song began playing over the image of Irina smoothing her hands down her leopard dress and realized what was coming next. Something none of them except the two there had ever seen or really knew what had happened. The trip where Jack's ship had finally began to sink.

"God, this song is perfect," even Jack laughed, already turning red and laughing shaking his head as he heard the lyrics and watched as Irina onscreen stepped out of the bathroom.

_His breath caught in his throat immediately as she smiled coyly at him and breezed past him, so close he swore he could hear her heart beat…or maybe it was his own now thundering in his ears. _

_The dress she'd gotten from the CIA wardrobe barely covered her thighs and his eyes tracked her body from her sexy feet in heels, up her still gorgeous legs, ass, back and…he quickly looked away when he realized he'd been caught seeing her watching him in the mirror. _

_Her smile only widened and she whirled around, walking back to him with her eyes locked on his and stopped just inches from his rapidly rising and falling chest, reaching ever so slowly around him to retrieve the purse and sending a wave of perfume he hadn't smelled on anyone since her, more then twenty years ago…something he only recalled in his dreams and now lingering in the electric air around them. _

_She was the Devil, Jack decided when she pulled back and her arm brushed his._

_"Are you ready?" Irina asked with sultry eyes and a thick voice that held a tint of her exotic accent he was finding more and more intriguing and Jack swallowed hard, hoping to keep his groans silent. _

_"Yes." He finally answered, his eyes traveling south of their own accord following the line of her necklace until it disappeared…he quickly snapped his head up visibly gulping, "Interesting dress…" He commented narrowing his eyebrows as if he disapproved and didn't enjoy it at all. 'My God you're beautiful,' was the thought really going through his mind._

_"We're going to a strip club, Jack," Irina sighed annoyed and whirled around, "Deal with it." _

_"I know where we're going but thank you for clarifying," Jack lobbed back at her sarcastically adding 'Lucifer' under his breath and brushed past her, worried that if he stayed another second that close to her he'd either burst into flames or grab her, throwing her down and forgetting the mission. "Let's go." He held open the door and scolded himself when his eyes once again betrayed him and roamed over her body as she walked towards him. _

More hysterical laughter followed with perfectly timed lyrics overlapping the scenes from the two walking side by side and then when Irina slid in next to him in the car.

_Jack was clearly frazzled and Irina amused at his reaction when she touched his hand and he yanked it back as if on fire but kept eyeing her crossed legs and swallowing hard. _

**_*Blue*_**

The sight of Irina entering the bar after Jack had settled had every male in the theatre shifting in their seats again; a small chorus of throats clearing, small groans and 'My Gods' rang round the room agreeing with Jack's thoughts onscreen.

_'Sweet Dear God in Heaven, you're throwing damnation right at me by tempting me with the Devil herself.' Jack thought to himself as he struggled to swallow his whiskey watching Irina cut her way through the club towards him and the backroom. _

_He also wasn't blind to the fact she could still hold the attention of everyone in a room. She breezed by him without ever looking in his direction though he knew she knew exactly where he was. _

_His heart continued to pound watching the man take an unnecessary amount of pleasure in scanning her with his wand and groaned internally watching her shift her hips at the man suggestively as he scanned her. _

_So far, she was too good at this for his liking and he was surprised when he realized it was jealousy. _

_Quickly he snapped his mind back into focus remembering why they were there and that he was supposed to have his eyes open and head clear as her backup. When she disappeared behind the wall, he could still see her through the bars as she walked further into Stuka's room. _

_The blonde man was mostly hidden behind the wall of bars with his back facing Jack and the room and Jack didn't like the look on the young girl's tear-stained face as she ran out of the room shortly after Irina went in. _

Watching the scene now and having never seen what happened in that room, Jack could see what had made the girl upset and also read the fire in Irina's eyes at seeing this man playing such a game with just a child.

"You didn't…" He groaned looking at Irina next to him and then watching her image onscreen take a seat across from the man.

Jack's eyes went impeccably wide as did most people's in the theatre when Irina slammed her hands on the table offering her challenge to the crazy man with the knife and held their breath as he went on a stabbing mania with many wincing and almost afraid to watch this insane game of chicken.

In less then a blink of an eye, Irina had stabbed him through the back of the hand and held the knife to his throat knocking whatever breath the audience had been holding out.

_Jack was stuck staring and unmoving as he watched her through the window. _

_As soon as she had her answer and in the blink of an eye, she slit Stuka's throat, stabbed his bodyguard in the heart and then threw the same knife killing the remaining guard before Jack realized what was happening so amazed with watching her in action for the first time. _

_She was all business and out the door within seconds and when he saw her moving and a guard rounding the corner taking aim at her without her knowing he snapped with anger that this man dare try to shoot her and shot him first. _

_The surprise on her face was clear when she wheeled around to see it had been he who had just saved her life. _

_Chaos broke out immediately after and she ran out the front while he went out the back, both running on adrenaline highs until they met in the alley four blocks away and then immediately without words went straight for the plane. _

_Irina disappeared into the bathroom as the jet took off and Jack went straight for his bag, finding his flask and downing a sizeable swallow before pouring another shot of the vodka into a tumbler. _

_On the other side of the bathroom door, Irina took several deep breaths, leaning back against the door for a moment as a flash of Jack with his arm raised in the club flooded her mind on repeat in disbelief. _

_He'd saved her life… _

_Tears immediately began to flood her eyes and she furiously blinked them back, pushing herself off the door and kicking off her high heels; she began to peel off her dress._

_Jack's breath once again caught in his throat when he looked up from his chair and saw her step out from the bathroom. She was no longer wearing the sexy siren screaming leopard dress but a plain gray sweater over a white dress tank top and black slacks. Her hair had been pulled back in the way she 'always' wore it after a long day at work and she was still as beautiful to him if not more when she sat in the seat in front of him. _

_Sitting across from him now, she looked so much like the wife he knew and missed it was almost unbearable, especially with the soft look in her dark eyes and the way they seemed to glint with held back tears. _

_Immediately he asked about Sloane and the Manual accepting her answer and looking out the window, unsure if he could keep looking at her and afraid of what he might say. _

_Irina's mind was still consumed with the fact he'd saved her life when he had every reason not to. She said her thanks in the only way she knew how and had to stop before breaking down into full tears. _

_Something she would not allow Jack to ever see again and quickly changed the subject back to Sloane trying to redirect the conversation away from 'them.' Anything was a safer topic and she was trying desperately not to let her emotions over run her. _

_Jack knew exactly what she was doing and seeing her so close to the edge again, about to lose control with the tears glinting in her eyes he found a way to switch the subject back to them, wanting to see her reaction to what he was really saying with the use of devotion: 'I loved you…you were my whole world.'_

_It was Irina's turn to swallow the massive lump in her throat and tried desperately to choke back the tears looking at him briefly and then away, thankful when he continued. _

_"Sydney." She nodded with tear-glazed eyes speaking in a soft voice knowing exactly what had kept him focused. The same reason she had. _

**_*I Love You*_**

_Jack looked at her and knew that if he stayed sitting there another minute, he would undoubtedly say something he would forever regret. His heart was practically screaming in his ears with each beat 'you still love her' and if she looked at him like that again, he would end up kissing her or something worse._

_When he abruptly stood, moving to leave Irina knew that his emotions were boiling as close to the surface as her own and if she didn't tell him now, she may never have the chance, her time in CIA custody was rapidly coming to an end. _

_She reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it in her own, keeping him there and not wanting to let go. _

_The feel of her hand on his once again, the way she started running circles over the back as she always had when she was upset stopped Jack from pulling away. _

_The electric current passing between them seemingly speeding up his heart beat while he ceased to breathe looking down at her and wrapping his fingers around hers for the first time in decades, not wanting to let go of her either. _

_"I never thanked you for everything that-" She stopped not really sure what to say, there was, so much she wanted to tell him… "For raising our daughter." She smiled, whispering softly and Jack knew that was not what had originally caused her to reach out to him, grasp his hand in desperation. _

_The way her hand was gripping his he dared not hope that his heart was reading the connection passing between their connected bodies correctly for if it was, they were both heading into dangerous territory. _

_"We'll be landing in four hours. Get some rest," He quickly took charge of the moment needing to leave this room, and her as quickly as possible with no real place to run stuck on this airplane. Slowly he pulled his hand away and she let go, turning her face away from him and staring at the window. _

The lyrics of the song were Irina's own words adding heartbreaking narration, speaking Irina's thoughts without having to use a voiceover.

_'Oh and every time I'm close to you there's too much I can't say and you just walk away and I forgot to tell you… I love you…and life's too long and cold here without you, I grieve for my condition for I cannot find the words to say I need you so…'_

"This is really _fucking_ sad." Weiss whispered and held back a small sob, sniffling, his eyes blurry with new tears and rivers already running down his cheeks, slinking down in his seat that this was getting to him so much as he watched Irina's face onscreen become stained with her own clear streams of pain. "This song, that face," He motioned with his hand towards Irina's sad face onscreen and Sophia who was also crying smiled softly, handing him another tissue.

"It's ok, remember?" Sophia kissed a tear from his cheek, pulling him closer and then smiling nodding down the row where Jack was kissing Irina's temple and whispering in her ear, thumbing away her own tears, "This story has a happy ending."

"Damn well better be!" He sniffled, embarrassed that he was still crying though not as much, when he saw the glassy eyes of every other man in their row as well.

_Jack stayed in the galley ten minutes before he'd realized how ridiculous it was to hide from her and stood tall, trying to show more courage then he knew he had in facing her again. _

_When he opened the door and walked silently down the hall he wasn't prepared to find her out of her chair. She was instead, on the floor sitting profile to him and facing the wall of the plane near the Emergency Door with her legs crossed and arms resting in the meditation position. _

_His mind immediately circumventing to the fact that in all the months she'd been in their custody, he had only seen her in a bed, sleeping once. Did she ever sleep anymore? His thoughts were interrupted when he saw a shiny tear slip from beneath her dark lashes and roll slowly down her cheek…and then another. _

_'She was crying… She was actually crying! Irina Derevko did not cry!' His mind shouted at him and he became extremely uncomfortable with the sight and the notion as his mind suddenly filled and started rapid firing all the times when they were married she had cried in his arms and dried her tears but 'this' was not his wife!' _

_He kept internally screaming at his heart to shut up and looked frantically for a way out. She obviously didn't know he was standing there and quickly turned, carefully but rapidly heading straight back to the galley where he closed the door and slid down its back, resting his head in his hands and running them through his hair and then closed his eyes, and flopped his head back and blinking back his own tears. _

The camera panned out and up focusing how small Jack actually looked sitting on the floor with his knees up and reminding everyone of the shot in the second film of the pullback on Irina when she sat crying with knees up at the end of the bed.

* * *

_"So whatever happens…there's something I need you to know…Sydney, I love you." _

_"Mom…" Sydney tried to stop her, her own eyes already filling with tears._

Everyone was crying again when Irina put her hand up on the glass, knowing she was saying 'goodbye' to Sydney again, even if Sydney wasn't aware of it.

_The image from their last goodbye, hand to hand with Sydney barely big enough to cover Irina's palm instantly flashed through Irina's mind and she pulled her hand back suddenly as if burned by the image and clearly desperately trying to keep back her emotions._

* * *

"Yes!" Weiss smiled, waggling his eyebrows at Sophia and slunk down further in his seat when '_Panama_' flashed across the bottom of the screen, "The moment we've all been waiting for." He giggled with glee, glancing down to Jack and Irina with everyone else in the theatre who immediately turned to look at them both with just that one word, Panama.

When he looked back he caught Kendall's eye and winked at him, rubbing his hands together in anticipation while everyone around him snickered and Kendall shook his head, already tugging at his tie and all that was onscreen thus far were Jack and Irina sitting at a table in their hotel room.

Sydney kept repeating the mantra in her mind, _'they're not your parents, they're not your parents, they're not your parents'_ glancing from the screen to the two actors playing the roles of her parents and back again desperately trying to prepare herself for what she was going to 'witness.'

As much as she was terrified to see it and be horrified, she was equally excited knowing that it was this night really that was responsible for getting her parents back together. She told herself that she could handle seeing it, as she watched the two of them together and doing 'it' all through the first film, had even seen them in live action on the CIA monitor and she could handle this too. As soon as she said that though the other part of her mind screamed, '_yeah, but this is thee night!_' She groaned and slid down further and actually for the first time ever, slightly away from her mother.

Irina almost laughed when she heard the groan and realized why Sydney was sliding away.

"Would you like me to cover your eyes with my hands until it's over like I did when you were little?" Irina whispered, leaning over and laughing softly as did Vaughn.

"No," Sydney groaned and shook her head holding back her smile and deepening her dimples, "Though I may need some serious bleaching when this night is over."

Irina started shaking with laughter and kissed Sydney's forehead.

"Don't worry, Sweetheart. This is the severely edited edition," She winked at Sydney before leaning back and into Jack.

"Well, Eric's certainly going to be disappointed when he finds that out." Sydney giggled and shook her head.

"Showtime." Weiss could hardly contain his giddiness when the scene cut to Jack and Irina on the bed with her shirt already half off and Jack slicing into her back.

"You are entirely too excited about this," Sophia giggled and rolled her eyes at her crazy fiancé.

Every person who'd worked for Kendall snorted loudly with held in laughter with Irina's line to Jack of, "_Kendall's not as smart as you_."

_"Are you ok?" Jack asked immediately concerned he'd hurt her when she gasped softly._

_"This is nothing." She smiled, touched with his concern and meeting his eyes looking back over her shoulder. Her heart was already pounding in her chest from the feel of his hands on her skin but looking at him now her body screamed with craving for more. _

_The way he was staring at her, she saw the flare of passion in his own eyes and she could barely think but knowing she should, say something at least if not state at least the obvious though she knew both of their minds were precisely aware of just how much time they had. _

_"We need to be up early." _

_"Yes," was the only word that registered in his brain right now his body aching to touch her again, to hold her to kiss her and to claim her…it'd been too long and everything in him was screaming 'yes, yes, yes!' _

_Especially when her eyes kept darting to his lips and her voice became barely audible._

_"We should get to bed." Her heart was beating so loudly now she was sure he could hear it, her mind swimming with all the reasons why and why not unaware her body was taking over for her. Her eyes kept returning to the object of her desire and leaning in ever so slowly in an attempt to get closer. _

_"Yeah, we should." He responded fully intending to go to bed just not to sleep as his body was already on fire just from looking at her, his eyes on her lips and watching her move in slowly. _

_It was all the invitation he needed and rapidly closed the gap, searing his lips to hers._

**_*Gravity of Love/ O Fortuna*_**

_Jack's hand immediately threading into Irina's hair to hold her to him and everything in the world stood still. _

_The only sound was the loud thump of two hearts suddenly in-sync with each other once more; sending shockwaves through their bodies awakening their souls with each beat. _

_Her tongue darted softly out intending to touch his lip and instead met his tongue with the lightest of touches that sent a currant through them both with jarring velocity and jolted them both into anxious fury of wanting more, now and as quickly as they could having had this need and denying it for too long. _

_Irina's own hand snaking up Jack's back and running through his hair pulling him closer as his tongue swept past her lips and through her mouth, caressing and gentle as it was fierce and she felt the tears flood her eyes with the kiss of the only man she'd ever loved. _

_He lay her gently down on the bed even as his hungry mouth craved her's with every touch and taste and he needed more, all of her as much as he could get. He knew she was planning something and hoped he was wrong but at the moment all he cared about was the fact she was in his arms again. _

_He needed to feel her naked skin on naked skin and reluctantly pulled back with his lips still locked with hers, pulling her shirt up and off with his hand and only breaking the kiss to pull the shirt clean off and throwing it to the other side of the bed. _

_His eyes met hers and he saw the pooling tears threatening to fall at any moment._

_"Jack…" She whispered looking up at him with a quivering voice, terrified to do this…to let go with him again if only for one night._

_Jack saw her doubting this action and knew he couldn't let her think, just feel and immediately closed the distance again. Laying on top her and pinning her to the bed with his weight, desperately trying to keep her there, here and in this moment… _

_His finger reached out and lightly pressed against her lips, his eyes melding with hers and whispered tenderly, "Shhh…" while his other hand smoothed her hair back and over her ear. _

_The finger that had silenced her doubts was now tracing the contour of her lip softly as he stared down at her, looking deeply and seeing everything. _

_Her soul had come to life with his touch and she felt her defenses falling and let him in again…_

_He found the answers he was searching for and both were painful…She loved him…and she was leaving him…again._

_Looking into her brown watery depths he saw only the love shining back now and a longing that matched his own. His mouth slowly descended upon her's once more with them both meeting in the middle in a soft kiss that lingered. _

_Hot tongues collided in simultaneous brushes mimicking a dance long remembered and the burning tears fell from under her eyelashes feeling safe for the first time in twenty-one years under the weight of his body and surrounded by his arms. _

_At least for one night of stolen hours, she could come 'home.'_

_Her fingers immediately set to work under the weight of his body reaching and grabbing frantically at the sides of his shirt, needing to feel his skin on hers as quickly as possible. _

_He gasped into her mouth when her knuckles brushed against the skin of his lower abdomen when he propped himself up slightly and she set to work undoing his belt. _

_His mouth left her lips and began a frantic trail of kisses across her jaw and down her neck, down the center of her chest and across the crest of each breast still hidden behind black satin fabric wanting to devour as much as he could all at once. _

_Jack's fingers rapidly unsnapping the clasp restraining them from his hungry gaze and stopped kissing her searing flesh long enough to look at her once more and then bent his head._

_When his mouth closed over her nipple a shudder ran through her and she gasped for her first breath, the tears never ceasing to stop and running into her hair. _

_'God how she missed him.' _

_His tongue swirling in circles and teeth grazing her already hard peak when he pulled away and repeated with the other, paying equal attention to his long missed treasures. _

_The ache inside her raged with flames when she felt his hardness brush against her leg through their pants and her fingers grappled at the hem of his shirt, ripping it up quickly with both hands and pulling it over his head, tugging roughly when it became tangled in his arm. _

_She immediately met his dark eyes again and leaned up, capturing his swollen lips once more and letting out of soft cry when their naked chests came in full contact for the first time. _

_His hands slid under her, gripping her skin as he slid them up her sides and across her back, pulling her up with him as he leaned back on his knees planted on either side of her on the bed. _

_Pressing her into him and trembling with the feel of her flesh electrify with just his touch. She tilted her head and his mouth moved across her throat, scorching tongue finding her throbbing pulse and swirling in a circle. _

_When her hand raked over his raging cock straining against his boxers he groaned into her neck and grabbed her upper arms with both hands, stilling her and pulling away. He couldn't wait any longer and because neither wanted to let go of the other for a second, they both remained with entirely too many clothes on. _

_Irina's heart skipped a beat hoping he wasn't pulling away from her now, realizing what he was doing and stopping and was relieved to see his eyes locking with hers. _

_Without his belt and completely undone his pants fell to the floor in a puddle at his feet. Her eyes fell immediately to the straining bulge still hidden behind his boxers and Jack's own fires flamed seeing the desire for him in her eyes. _

_In seconds, his boxers had joined his pants on the floor and his mouth once again captured hers' leaning down to where she was sitting up. Her hands raking down his sides and around his back, fingernails digging into his ass and making him hiss when she pulled him closer, leaning back. _

_She wanted him now. Later if they both didn't regret this, they'd go slow but for now all that mattered was feeling him inside her again. _

_Her whole body shivered with ache for him. _

_His hands cupped the back of her head with one on her neck, his tongue probing into the sweltering hot cavern of her mouth suggestively, teasing and claiming while he lay her back once again. As soon as her head hit the bed his mouth was moving south while his arms pushed hers up above head. _

_Jack trailed his tongue over her searing skin covered in trembling gooseflesh and kissed each of the spots that had been his favorite as he rapidly worked south. His tongue swirling and dipping into her belly button while his hands undid the button of her pants and looped his fingers in the waistline. _

_Irina's breathing turning erratic and then gasping when his mouth kissed the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh so near her core she was sure he tasted her scent, already dripping in anticipation for his homecoming. _

_Smelling her, tasting her, feeling her he couldn't wait and tugged her pants down the rest of her legs and threw them behind him where he was now kneeling at the foot of the bed. _

_The beautiful sight of her at eye level before him. Her arms above her head and chest heaving with erratic breath pushing her perfect breasts into the air, the trembling muscles of her abdomen already quivering with anticipation and the beautiful way her legs were spread open just for him. _

_She was still and would forever be, the most beautiful thing he'd ever see. _

_A goddess to be worshipped and the price was high but tonight, it was worth it and then some. His mouth kissed her foot and then the back of one knee and then inner thigh hearing her hiss slightly as he climbed up over her. _

_She felt his strong broad hands sweep under her back once again and lift her slightly further ahead in the mattress with his eyes locked on hers and his body settling between hers. _

_Slowly his other hand lifted her leg ever so slightly locking it around one hip and bringing them closer together. She was absolutely trembling now beneath him with nothing but pure love and passion flooding her eyes for him. _

_With her leg over his hip he slid his other arm under her other shoulder to hugging her tightly in his grip as he lowered himself completely onto her, fiery heat meeting fiery heat for the first time and making both gasp with eyes still locked and time in slow motion. _

_Fresh tears flooded her eyes as she gazed into his and saw the same love she had for him reflected back at her. In spite of everything else…it had always been there and always would. _

_He bucked his hips up a little aligning himself at her dripping entrance and nudged into her a little; her other leg immediately closing around the other hip and bucking her own hips up nudging him into her slick folds and nodding so softly most would miss but Jack thrust fast and hard, claiming her again all in one take and capturing her lips and cry at the same time. _

_Trying to smother his own at the overwhelming tidal wave of sensations and emotions at be enveloped in her heat again…always a perfect fit, the only perfect fit, home. _

_Her tears rolling endlessly down her cheeks with eyes closed and bodies fused._

_Irina's legs locked at the ankles behind his ass holding him tightly to her and perfectly still as time stood completely still. _

_He swallowed her cry and she swallowed his. _

_Past, present, pain, pleasure, love and despair; emotional and physical all released in that one moment of completion._

"And then there was Lena," Irina whispered with a smile as tears ran down her face, her fingers sweeping over their sleeping baby's face; still in awe of that miracle watching her conception on the screen before her. Her hand moved in the same motion across Jack's cheek, smiling and holding his gaze just as intently now as that night.

The same look of absolute love passing between them now as then. Her gaze once again falling to those same lips and leaning in slightly; Jack taking his cue and capturing them half-way…a kiss held and time standing still once more.

Sydney remained absolutely frozen, eyes never leaving the screen and tears streaming down her face. She'd expected a mirage of reactions to witnessing this reunion but this was not one of them, time standing still around her and marching on before her in slow motion onscreen in the most beautiful love scene she'd ever seen.

_Irina's muscles quaked and gripped frankly at him, as if they recognized, remembered, and she rocked her hips back slightly, before rolling into him again in a rapid thrust. Her body imploding around the one erupting inside her; the instant connection of bodies and souls merged sending them both, flying over the edge at first contact. _

_Jack whimpered so completely overloaded that she was his again…living, breathing and trembling with heated flesh surrounding him completely and at least for this night…his. Their bodies pressed so tightly together it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. His body was recovering with an insatiable need; lengthening and turning granite hard inside her encompassing warmth filling her completely. _

_She was holding him so forcefully to her with long legs like a vice wanting to keep him as close as possible but her inner explosion had weakened her grip just enough for him to pull out and plunge back in, each thrust like a bolt of lightening surging through from one body to the other. He rocked back hard on planted knees into a kneeling position bringing Irina up with him; one of his arms dropped around the back of her waist while the other crossed over her back. _

_The feel of her rippling muscles beneath his touch then unlocked her legs and brought them down next to his, lifting on him slightly only to plunge down hard and steal his breath. In their kiss he tasted the salty sting of tears and pulled back, opening his eyes and looking into her swimming dark pools and the river of tears running rampant down her cheeks. _

_Pounding heart pressed to pounding heart he cupped her face with both hands and kissed each stream of tears slowly, his hips continuing to roll beneath them in an all too familiar dance, bodies moving as one without instruction. The tenderness in each kiss and touch only causing more and more tears to fall at being in his arms again, his need filling her completely again and again with each, perfectly unison thrust. _

_This wasn't about passion but something much more…expressing the love for each other too long denied. _

_With her tears still falling against his efforts he pulled back and brushed his lips over hers, capturing her upper lip in a soft kiss and whispering her name for the first time against them, "Irina…" came out in a breathless space while looking right into her eyes. _

_He heard the sharp intake of breath and the simultaneous sob that brought her eyelids crashing down forcing out more tears and she dropped her head overcome with emotion at the significance held in hearing him say her name for the first time while making love. _

_Jack slid his fingers along her jaw-line and under her chin, tilting her face back up to his and still she refused to open her eyes, afraid to open them and see this moment as a dream. _

_When she felt his warm lips on her own once more another cry and soft moan escaped bringing her eyes open, staring into his loving dark ones piercing her soul. His nose brushed with hers in a lovely touch and then crashed his mouth with hers in a searing kiss._

As Jack once again claimed Irina's lips onscreen the camera began to rapidly circle around them on the bed while they still seemed to move in a slow motion fashion of time standing still and completely captivating the audience in its beauty and splendor.

A montage of the different moments of their lovemaking represented the passage of time in heart-stopping eye popping maneuvers and moments done so tastefully yet so full of soul and passion to leave everyone breathless.

The shots of Jack's hands sliding down Irina's muscular back to her ass pulling her closer, her hair slowly whipping from side to side while Jack ravaged her neck and then leaned her back kissing down her chest.

The sensually insane shot of Jack behind Irina holding her impossibly close with one arm, of her arms around his neck while he kissed her neck with face buried in her hair, one of his arms around her breasts and the other, over her lower abdomen where it linked fingers with her own hand still moving as one.

One thing was clear to everyone; she had completely surrendered to Jack. For the first time, since their last time, Irina had given up control completely and the implications of this were monumental, especially to Dubey who couldn't stop his own eyes from getting blurry. The difference between making love and having sex was flashing before them in spectacular beauty… showing the force of the gravity of love.

With mouths slightly ajar, frozen in place with eyes unwavering from the images before them the audience dared not breathe having never seen anything so powerful in their lives onscreen before in what they were witnessing now given everything they'd known these two people before them on the screen had been through to get them to this point.

'_Sacrifice my ass_,' were Kendall's internal thoughts feeling a bead of sweat roll down his spine watching Jack's mouth close over Irina's hipbone, tongue swirling over sweat slicked skin and kiss his way up her trembling body, remembering the man's attempts to have them believe it was in done in the sake of duty.

**_*Kissing You (Instrumental)*_**

_They collapsed into each other in the early twilight of morning, falling asleep with legs entwined and bodies, inches from each other. Jack kissing her forehead and then lips with a smile as he brushed a sweaty curl behind her ear, contently staring at her with a sated gaze that held a hint of fear. _

_'Did my heart love 'til now, for swear it sight, for it never saw true beauty 'til this night,' his mind recited with each beat of his heart staring into the eyes of the only woman he'd ever loved. The one who'd taken his heart with her twenty years ago and gave it back to him this night. He tried to battle sleep as did she but it claimed them both with exhausted bodies and souls. _

They watched as Irina awoke first, staring at Jack who was still sleeping and seeing the tears immediately begun pooling in her eyes at seeing him beside her. More of their own tears forming watching as hers began rolling down her cheeks and over her nose into the pillow.

There was no need for narration to explain what Irina was thinking, it was obvious to everyone that she was torn about what to do. The song overlaying the images reminded them all of another tragic time when she was faced with leaving him before.

When Irina onscreen leaned her head into Jack's, closing her eyes and falling asleep again, Sydney in turn leaned back over towards her mother and slid her hand under Irina's fingers, lacing them with her own and offering her a small smile of support.

_Jack woke blinking slowly as his fuzzy gaze came into focus and his heart almost stopped seeing her beautiful face just inches from his own. The feel of her soft skin beneath his hand still covering her hip and the way her body slowly rose and fell with each breath he smiled that she was real, not a dream. _

_Glancing at the window and seeing the sunlight he knew he should wake her, that they needed to get going but his heart ached to keep watching her sleep, for time to remain theirs and for her to remain his… _

_Her long eyelashes started to flutter against her cheeks and when she opened them lazily still in a fog of sleep he smiled at her and how cute she had always been waking up. _

_She returned the smile even as her eyes fell closed again and he took the opportunity to do something he'd wanted to do since waking; he leaned in and captured her soft lips in a sweet lingering kiss. _

_As he broke the kiss, her eyes came fully open and he whispered, "We should get going," breaking the spell… his heart breaking watching her roll over and out of bed, wrapping a sheet around herself creating a barrier where last night there had been none and quickly exiting to the bathroom without looking back. _

**_*I Will Remember You (version 2)*_**

_Irina rapidly closed the door and turned the lock, dropped the sheet and immediately reached for the fixture, turning the water on full force in the shower and letting go of the tears she'd been trying to hold in. _

_A silent sob wracking her body in a torturous scream as she slowly slid down the tile wall of the shower to her knees, hands balling into fists and crying while the steam filled the bathroom. _

The image of Irina breaking down in the shower was heart wrenching to see and Jack felt his own eyes burn with new tears at seeing her breaking, wishing he would have known, broken down the door and swept her up in his arms, refusing to let her go.

The lyrics of the song were once again the only narration needed to tell the story of what Irina was thinking as they watched her reign in her emotions and flashes flit through her mind from the past and then last night as she geared herself up to say 'goodbye' again.

Sydney's tears would not be stopped watching as her mother let her father into the bathroom and they fell into the pattern he'd described to her on the porch that night. Watching as her mother held out the toothpaste and he put his brush there for her, both their minds simultaneously flashing back.

_When their gaze caught again in the mirror, Irina's breath caught at watching her mother whirl around and kiss her father with desperate passion. _

_With her hands planted against his chest, and foreheads resting together and eyes closed they tried to calm their breathing and regain control over their rapidly rising intentions. The feel of his hand against the naked skin of her lower back as he pressed her into his own heated body electrified her senses again and she fought the urge to just drop her towel and let him take her away again. _

_But like night before, the moments would always stolen between them even if she stayed they would forever be separated by a wall of glass._

_She could hear her own thundering heart just as she felt his beneath her palms like loud ticks of a clock counting down their time together and she slowly pulled her head from his and then quickly dropped her hands. _

Stepping back and away from him, forcing him to pull his hand away _from where it had snaked through her towel to touch her skin. Their eyes locked for another stolen moment before she left him alone to get ready. _

_'For Sydney…she could do this…stick to the plan.' Irina admonished herself trying to find her focus and her purpose for getting Sloane. 'But how can I leave her? Leave Jack...again?'_

_Tears plagued her eyes the entire time she got ready until Jack emerged from the bathroom and then she refused to look at him, letting silence blanket the room. Her mind was racing as fast as her heart and when he looked at her and motioned for the door, signaling it was time to go she felt a sudden desperation gripping her, drowning her as surely as the water did that night more then twenty years ago. _

_When Jack reached for her hand just before opening the door she knew she had to make sure; make sure he knew that she loved him…had always loved him and that would never change. She threw herself between him and the door, slamming it shut and staring intently baring everything in her soul to him through her gaze and willing him to see her love for him. _

_Jack returned the intense gaze for a moment before reaching up with his free hand, brushing her cheek and then tucking her hair softly behind her ear, his eyes locked with hers again and giving her a small smile. Her tears were pooling rapidly in her eyes but she forced them back, closing her eyes and leaning in to kiss him one last time. _

_Lips kissing softly and tenderly with both memorizing everything about it and Jack's hand reached up, threading through her hair and pulling her to him softly. His heart burned with fire and screamed 'no, no, no,' even as it recognized this kiss for what it was: good-bye. _

_One word they could never say, 'Good-bye.' _

Watching her 'good-bye' and the entire exchange with Sloane, hearing Lena narrating Irina's thoughts of abandoning her plan at the last second was surprising to many, especially Julian who now realized through her narration what the hell was going on with crystal clear clarity now. He also understood more of the 'why,' and almost felt badly for extracting her.

Irina sensed what he must be thinking and looked down the aisle at him, giving her beautiful smile with a slight nod telling him it was okay and that everything worked out the way it was supposed to. If he hadn't extracted her that day, they would not be where they are today as she would still be a prisoner in US Custody with events never unfolding as they did.

Kendall was shaking his head astonished at seeing how she pulled it all off in his appreciation, seeing the masterfulness of the betrayal watching Jack open the door to the decoy limo and find it empty.

**_*Stay*_**

_Jack's heart instantly dropped into sudden stop seeing the empty blackness of the limo realizing his worst fear had come true, she was gone. No longer his and claimed once more by the world of the unknown. _

_Hearing Kendall confirm what he already knew his mind was instantly consumed with images from the night before and the feel of her lips on his not even an hour ago. _

_The feeling of her loss was instant and soul crushing, tearing away whatever she'd given back to him making him complete again in those few stolen hours of time. He knew that without her, all he'd ever be was incomplete. _

_The entire flight home he sat staring at the empty leather chair in front of him where she'd sat on the flight to Panama; he could still see her leg bouncing in nervousness before being swept away with a slow motion replay over every moment of the night before through this morning. He'd arrived home too quickly for his liking knowing he'd have to face an empty cell…and his daughter. _

They watched with breaking hearts as Jack told Sydney that Irina had escaped in Panama betraying 'them' again and Sydney's desperate attempts for it not to be true in trying to find another explanation. Sydney's eyes went to her mother's hand, holding her own and the circles she was running over the back of her hand with silent streams of tears watching her daughter's heartbreaking at hearing of her betrayal.

The scene rapidly changed to Sloane's jet with Irina and Sark and everyone sat on edge anticipating witnessing the first conversation between Irina and Sloane in more then twenty-years.

_"You know how much we loved Sydney…as if she were our own." Sloane looked at her with his sly smile and beady little eyes and Irina snapped, tired of masking her feelings of how she really felt about Arvin Sloane and with emotions already on edged, excused Julian to lay down the law. _

The audience, especially Jack, Sydney and Julian were all watching with anxiousness and eagerness to see this conversation between Irina and Sloane as it quickly became clear that what he'd said to her about Sydney and his love for her, set Irina off.

Julian was most interested especially after being sent out of the room then and never knowing what was said between the two.

_"You need to get some rest." Sloane was clearly surprised at her reaction and tried to dismiss her warning._

_"Never…speak to me about your love for Sydney again." _

Irina looked at him with deadly intent onscreen and Sydney felt the surge of love and pride at seeing her mother so adamantly defending and protecting her against Sloane.

Her smile faded the moment she saw the image of herself onscreen in her mother's now empty cell telling Dixon she wished her mother had been killed…having so easily given up on her mother and letting them both down even if she knew her mother never blamed her for the reaction.

Her mother had expected it, Sydney realized in hindsight thinking back to her mother's goodbye to her in the cell and remembering the words of, _'You don't have to say anything_…' and '_I know I haven't earned much,_' when her mother told her she loved her…but as she said then, It '_was just something she needed to say, needed Sydney to know'_ or to at least hear…because she knew the sting of betrayal would ruin everything else.

_"Due to Jack Bristow's intimate knowledge of the fugitive in question…"_ Kendall relayed onscreen in their first briefing and everyone burst into laughter, except for Kendall, at how hilariously accurate that statement was.

The hilarity only continued when Jack casually announced Irina had been tagged with a passive tracking device and Marshall stopped him asking questions.

_"Without her knowledge I injected her with a passive transmitter."_ Jack relayed onscreen maintaining his calm demeanor and only making everyone continue to laugh in the audience and Marshall shrink down into his seat with burning ears and cheeks as his onscreen self kept asking questions.

_"Hey, how'd you plant it without her knowing?"_ Marshall asked next and Jack's mind onscreen instantly flashed back to the image of himself leaning Irina back and biting her breast injecting her during one of the roaring climaxes they had seen in the montage they now understood and the audience roared with laughter when the flashback finished with Sydney staring expectantly at Jack waiting for the explanation and Jack staring at Marshall perturbed and then completely disregarding the question.

The laughter ceased the moment the images onscreen changed to Sydney blasting away at a target with clear intent that left few wondering at whom she was envisioning taking all that lead, her mother.

When she told Vaughn she wouldn't hesitate to shoot and kill Irina, and then went on another raging blasting trip, Sydney felt the squeeze of her own fingers from her mother's and turned her face up to see her mother giving her a small assured smile seemingly reading her mind. Sydney returned the gesture and only held on more tightly knowing it wasn't going to get any easier as they moved forward from this moment.


	29. Chapter 29

**_AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): _**_**Inferno**_** by Michael Giacchino from ALIAS Soundtrack**, **_Corynorhinus by Hans Zimmer from Batman Begins Soundtrack, _****_So Are You To Me _****by EastMountainSouth**_****__, Fallen by Sarah McLachlan, The Reason _**by Hoobastank, _Crockett's Theme (remix _by Jean-Michel Jarre, _Natural Blues_ by Moby, _The Bourne Supremacy_ Theme by John Powell from The Bourne Supremacy Soundtrack, O Fortuna by Carl Oroff, _Time_ by Hans Zimmer from Inception Soundtrack.**

* * *

TWENTY-NINE

o

**_*Inferno*_**

The scene cut from Sydney to Irina landing on the lawn in her helicopter beside Alexander Palace outside St. Petersburg where she'd left from almost a year before.

_Dmitri was waiting with a smile at seeing her disembarking amongst the flurry of snow swirling around her from the blades kicking it up._

_Irina gave him a soft smile and stopped just in front of him, Dmitri's eyes scanning her whole body with a look of trepidation and then a smile. _

_"See…no new holes or gashes." She spoke softly with a smile knowing exactly what he was looking for and teasing him about their last conversation. "Hello Dmitri." Her eyes lit up with a sparkle and building tears seeing the smile on his fatherly face. _

_"Oh Child," He sighed carefully palming her cheeks and kissing her forehead before wrapping her into a hug. _

_Without hesitation she reached up and returned the hug and held on fiercely, closing her eyes when she was assaulted with images of Jack and Sydney and forcing back her tears. _

_Dmitri's brows pinched over her shoulder, noticing immediately the difference in her. She had never returned his hug so fiercely, or any other affection always him needing the contact instead of her, but now…she was the one seeking the comfort from him and it worried him more deeply then finding any new bodily damage…his heart and mind immediately began to fear the wreckage and holes within. He held her more tightly, kissing the side of her head. _

_Irina kissed the side of his cheek with a smile, stepped back and patted him on his forearm seeing the look in his eyes and damning herself for revealing so much. _

_"I can't stay long, only a few hours before I have to leave again but I wanted to see you first." She linked her arm through his and walked into the grand palace still surrounded by scaffolding though some tremendous changes could be seen, "How have you been?" _

_"Other then worried sick for you," He smiled, running his hand down the side of her face again as he led her to the kitchen, "I have been well…and you, Your Highness, how are you?" His eyes immediately scanning hers with concern._

_Irina looked at the floor putting her mask securely in place before smiling in turn. _

_"I'm fine Dmitri. The CIA treated me better than I expected, for the most part…" Her mind instantly short-circuiting to Camp Harris and that torture. She sloughed out of her black winter coat._

_"Did you accomplish what you'd hope to? Is…she free of this life?" He struggled to ask the question never ever saying 'her' name to Irina when speaking of Sydney, knowing what a painful and usually taboo subject it was as he took her coat and brushed off the snowflakes._

**_*Corynorhinus*_**

_"Yes and no." Irina smiled walking towards the French doors to look out at the garden and the falling snow while he began making tea. "We destroyed the roadblocks in the way but my daughter is stubborn," She smiled shaking her head and shifted her gaze to Dmitri finding him smiling as well, "She won't quit until her mission is accomplished and thus…mine continues as well." _

_"Like mother like daughter." He smiled at Irina, putting the kettle on the burner happy to have her home if only for a short time._

_"Let's hope not," Irina dipped her head and rapidly turned her gaze back to the garden. "In fact…I know not. She is…incredible," Her smile returned with the image of Sydney's smiling face. _

_"As I said…like mother, like daughter." Dmitri voiced again in a soft voice knowing he was pushing it but determined to make her see she was not as bad as she believed she was. "You are incredible, just like your mother…" He glanced at her while removing a tray of fresh cookies from the oven. _

_"Then Sydney must have gotten it from Mama," Irina's remained focused on the bench where the ghost image of her mother staring at her garden with long hair blowing in the summer breeze flitted through Irina's mind before fading back to the empty diamond snow cover. _

_"You're too hard on yourself, Child." Dmitri shook his head and placed a sugar cookie on a plate, sliding it over towards Irina just as the kettle whistled. _

_"I left my child, Dmitri…twice." Irina countered shaking her head in disgust with eyes shifting away. _

_"To save her life…both times, yes?" Dmitri fought back with the truth continuing to speak in soft tones while he poured her tea, "What more can a mother do then to sacrifice everything for her child? Nothing." _

_Images of her mother's execution and words flashed through Irina's mind and she closed her eyes to stop the tears from welling. She dropped her arms and moved around the kitchen island, taking her cup of tea from Dmitri and placing one hand on his forearm giving it a slight squeeze, _

_"Thank you for the tea," She gave him a soft smile signaling the end of any further discussion on the subject. "How's Katya? The children?" She changed subjects fingering a loose hair behind her ear and leaning back against the counter, sipping her tea._

_"They are well." Dmitri smiled, moving to the opposite counter and picking up a manila colored envelope, handing it to Irina. "These arrived this morning as per your request…as usual, I will pretend not to know what is inside." He smirked at her, long ago giving up the battle over the contents inside. "Your sister has been spending quite a bit of time in Moscow these days over seeing the restoration of the palaces there according to your plans with Iliyah as well as the hospital," He said casually and Irina nodded slightly, averting her eyes still uncomfortable with the subject of her sister. "Sergei is doing well in medical school, receiving excellent marks." He smiled with pride, as did Irina at hearing of her nephew's success. "And Sophia has become the reigning runway queen of the fashion world," His smiled widened seeing Irina's eyebrows rising with a pleased surprised smile. "Like mother like daughter…" He added quietly again staring intently at Irina bringing the point back to her dismissal earlier._

_"I'm going to go for a run now," Irina pushed off from the counter and set her teacup aside with a smile, "I will have breakfast with you before I leave."_

_"You're going running now? In this? Your Highness-" Dmitri raised his eyebrows pointing to the falling snow outside the windows. _

_"I've always run in the snow, Dmitri. Surely not that much time has passed that you'd have forgotten that?" She gave him her famous eyebrow and smile with a soft laugh, touching his arm once more before leaving still seeing the concern, "I have been locked in a cell for_ _the better part of a year. My lungs have forgotten the taste of freedom. I won't go far." She gave her promise with another smile and he consented with a nod in understanding. "And Dmitri," She took the envelope and paused by the door with a slight smile, "How many times must I ask you to just simply call me, Irina?" _

_"Apparently, that too, has been forgotten with this long passage of time, Your Highness." He smiled with a tease and watched as she shook her head with a slight smile and headed to her room to change; Dmitri stood watching her go. _

_When Irina was out of sight he whispered to himself, "What are you trying to outrun now Child?" He shook his head with a sad look on his face and grabbed her untouched cookie, taking a bite and folding his arms with a sigh. _

The camera followed Irina as she made the trek up the long marble staircase, opening the envelope as she went and removing a small stack of 8x10 photographs, one each of Katya, Marcelo, Sergei and Sophia, all taken without their awareness. Flipping through the photos her spies had taken for her she smiled at seeing her family was indeed okay.

Katya's eyes brimmed with tears as the rest of her family stared in shock to see what they'd known, Irina had kept tabs on them but to see it now in front of them…to see one of her first concerns upon her escape was to make certain they were well, showed them yet again of Irina's true concern for their wellbeing.

_Irina set the photos on her bed and began undressing. _

The scene then cut immediately to her running in the falling snow through the vast white landscapes of the snow-blanketed tundra they had seen just before she turned herself into the CIA.

In the same spectacular shot that had left most gasping in awe the first time and again now, the camera started high, swooped down around her and ended with a medium shot of her running profile that changed and pulled back again when she immediately turned.

Her hair was pulled back in the loose ponytail whipping wildly in the wind though her ears were now covered with a black warming headband. Her breath was visible in the cold air and cheeks tinged with red from the biting sting of the weather but she ran as hard as she could.

Irina was a black whir cutting across the white terrain and interrupting its continuity just like the images flashing through her head of Jack and Sydney cut through her own heart and mind. The tears falling from her eyes forming icy trails against the resistance of the wind and tearing at them, for the faster the images assaulted her, the faster she ran trying to outrun them and the faster her tears fell.

When Irina could go no longer she dropped to her knees defeated in the snow, her hands fisting in the air and then falling limping to her sides as her head fell back, a silent sob coming from her mouth before a blood curdling scream ripped from her body and sent shivers down everyone's spines.

The camera quickly pulling away from her in a large aerial shot to show her once again so small and alone against the vastness of the Russian tundra in a symbolic display. To see the painful struggle and the battle Irina was fighting with herself with her defenses weakened now that her compartments had been opened was heartbreaking to see especially for Jack and Sydney.

_Stuttgart, Germany- 11 hours later_ appeared next at the bottom of the scene.

_"Are you alright?" Julian asked as they pulled the van up in front of the building in Stuttgart. His curious eyes roving over Irina as she pinned her hair up, "You've hardly said a word since we extracted you." _

_Her silence was unsettling and the warnings of Sloane to be cautious of Irina were weighing heavily on his mind. 'Could Sloane have been right? Had Irina's loyalties begun to change with the influence of Jack and Sydney near her again?'_

_"I'm fine…I have a lot on my mind right now." Irina answered without looking at him, putting her glasses on as part of her alias and fingering a hair behind her ears, "We've a lot of work to do and this is far from over. Get your head in the game." She said roughly and then softened, looking back at him as she exited the vehicle, "This shouldn't take long." She nodded at him and he acknowledged her back, watching as she crossed the street. _

Watching Sark sweep Irina and hearing the alarm run rampant when it landed on her chest and she responded in realization with, "_Jack…_" sent a wave of hysterical laughter surging through the crowd only to be followed by an gasp of horror watching breathlessly as Irina ripped open her shirt and Julian zapped her with the cardiac paddles.

A loud cringe rang round the theatre along with a small chorus of expletives from various people in their emotional reaction to such a thing including '_motherfucker', 'son-of-a-bitch', 'Goddamns' and 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph._'

Julian felt sick to his stomach watching it now as he could only think of one thing, his eyes turning down the aisle towards Irina and the sleeping baby against Jack's chest, '_she was pregnant._' That fact would haunt him forever. Shooting Vaughn in the next scene was also not one of his finer points in life.

Watching Sydney's fierce determination to capture her mother was heartbreaking as was watching Irina calling out to her to gain her attention and have her chase her out of the building seconds before it blew up and saving her life.

_"Irina might have wanted to save Sydney's life…" Jack offered as way of explanation. _

_"I doubt that's the case." Sydney countered refusing to believe that her mother had any such intentions._

Sydney shook her head watching in disgust her reaction trying so hard to make her mother the evil enemy as it was easier to deal with believing she never loved her, then to believe she loved her and left anyway.

Irina once again knew what turmoil her child was in this moment and squeezed Sydney's hand, giving her a soft smile.

Seeing the reunion between Irina and Emily was intense and had their hearts pounding while Emily grilled Irina in a painful confrontation.

_Emily had taken a seat across from Irina, staring at her for the longest time with a critical gaze before finally breaking the silence. _

_"Irina Derevko. That's your real name?"_

_Irina nodded solemnly and took a deep breath watching the building tears in her former friends eyes._

_"All that time…you lied…" Emily gasped in disbelief._

_"I was doing my job." Irina tried to counter and eyed Sloane taking a seat on the other side of them, watching them both carefully. "We were in the middle of a war…and not everything was a lie," She gave Emily a small smile, "My love for you and our friendship…was not a lie." _

_"And your love for Jack?" Emily drilled right back at her and Irina shifted uncomfortably in her gaze, "Was that a lie? Just…part of your job?" Her anger was growing stronger staring at Irina, "You were his whole life…he was devastated with your death…and Sydney…" She shook her head in disgust with burning tears of rage, "How could you just abandon your own child? Was she part of the job requirement too?"_

_"Emily, Sweetheart-" Sloane tried to intervene and was quickly shut down._

_"No, Arvin! I want the truth and I want to know what could ever possibly be more important then her own child?" Her gaze was like steel drilling into Irina who never tried to defend herself, but sat there and took it. _

_"Sweetheart, you must understand something. Irina is The Chosen One. The one Rambaldi spoke of in his prophecies-" Sloane leaned forward, taking Emily's hand only to have her pull it back as if burned the moment he said Rambaldi._

_"Rambaldi? This…this obsession of yours," She looked from her husband back to Irina in disbelief, "He is what is more important to you then your daughter?" Emily stood up in disgust, backing away from them both._

_"Sweetheart you don't understand-" Sloane tried again. _

_"I don't want to understand, Arvin. I don't want to understand how an obsession with a dead man's words could make you abandon your own child. I don't want to understand." She shook her head and quickly exited to the bathroom with falling tears._

_"I'll talk with her…make her understand." Sloane reached out and grabbed Irina's hand, squeezing it and Irina's eyes darted down. _

_"Don't…she has a right to her anger," Irina squeezed his hand in return before pulling hers away. _

_"She's just in shock, Irina. She loved you so much." Sloane gave her another soft smile, standing and placing his hand on her shoulder, "She'll come around in time." _

Watching Sydney tell Emily she'd wished she was her mother, was painful to Irina and the new tears in her eyes bled the grief in her heart. Jack knew exactly how much that had to hurt and ran his fingers lovingly over Irina's in a show of support.

* * *

Watching the next sequence of events left them breathless with tears in their eyes as Sydney and Irina faced-off ending with Sydney shooting her and the death of Emily Sloane.

**_*So Are You To Me*_**

_Irina knew that she couldn't let Sydney give up on her, especially after today. Her daughter had shot her, but also gave her the chance to escape and in that, she needed to give Sydney 'something' to hold onto that one day, she would explain. _

_The pain in her arm was nothing in comparison to the grief in her heart that she'd put Sydney in a situation where she was forced to shoot her own mother…saving her as it was, and losing the 'mother' Sydney wished she had with Emily's death. She fingered the transmitter in her hand debating with herself over what to do as she sat on the floor, leaning back against the end of the bed. _

_Carefully, she began to tap out the only thing she could offer, 'Truth Takes Time.' She repeated it consecutively with a fresh stream of tears dripping from her chin and hoping that her daughter would get her message._

The camera cut from Irina tapping out the message to that of Sydney and Vaughn getting it, and Irina had to smile with pride watching Sydney decode the message; her daughter had been paying attention that day in the cell.

Sydney's eye-opening experience with Elsa Caplan followed and Irina couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt watching the young woman break down over the injection of her husband with a cyanide pill…something that was implemented by the KGB because of Irina's refusal to kill Jack.

Watching Jack and Sydney's change back to hating 'her' was also becoming quite clear when Sydney started calling her 'Irina' and 'Derevko' and Jack's fierce determination to destroy Elsa, his anger building so greatly that he was prepared to let Neil Caplan die in order to make at least 'one Russian agent' pay for betrayal.

_"Elsa's first thought, her first instinct was for her husband's life…" _

Sydney sighed watching the conversation on the screen, '_And so was Mom's.' _

They all gasped in horror when Caplan started choking Irina having '_never_' known about that incident until just now and both Sydney and Jack's heads whipped to look at her in the seat beside them with mouths open in shock. If Sloane hadn't have come in when he did, Irina could have been killed. It was no wonder she never told them of this and only added another level of amazement to Lena's birth. That Irina could have gone through so much and not miscarry was truly a miracle.

Jack kissed the top of Lena's head, running his hand softly over her back and thankful she was a fighter.

The laughter returned again with Sydney riding the hell out of the mechanical bull in Moscow to get information but was lost again with Jack's attack on Elsa. He felt his guilt wash over him again seeing himself being so cruel to Elsa onscreen, breaking her with threats against her child and in that instant saw himself in the flashes of Irina's tormentor: Cuvee…doing the same thing to her in Kashmir. The thought that he could be anything like them made him sick to his stomach.

They all cried witnessing Sloane's revenge against Dixon when he murdered Diane.

Another surprising reveal to most was Sloane and Irina's discovery of a passage in one of Rambaldi's manuals that led them both to believe they'd been wrong…that it was, indeed Sydney who was _The Chosen One_…not Irina, with references to the father of 'the child' holding some significance and in some way related to Rambaldi.

At the time, they'd both assumed it had to have meant a future child, which it did obviously, but it never crossed either of their minds it would be Irina's future child and thus to them…it must be Sydney's. This was the reason Sloane kidnapped Jack, believing him to be the father Rambaldi was speaking of, the father of _The Chosen One_, Sydney.

Watching Sloane visiting Conrad in Nepal and seeing now how Conrad had been purposefully playing all sides by feeding Irina and Sloane the information they needed a little at a time to bring it all together; to realize the word of Rambaldi.

_"I don't want Tippin killed." _

Irina onscreen made her feelings very clear and Will felt the chill run through him that it was his life they were bartering on. He knew that Irina didn't want him killed for Sydney's sake going completely against what made logical 'business' sense and in that, he could see Sark's clear confusion.

The fact that technology existed to double someone through drug therapy scared the shit out of the majority of the audience watching Allison onscreen manipulating Will and then doing as ordered, and brainwashing him, using lasers to frame him.

Dixon felt horrible watching himself go after Will when he'd been just as used by Sloane as he had and instead of losing a wife, he lost his girlfriend.

The heated conversation between Irina and Julian followed with him informing her he went against her wishes and tried to have Will killed.

As much as Will hated it, he could also see why it was that Sark ordered him killed, he was trying to protect the woman he loved. It didn't take anything away from his hate over the fact that Allison murdered the woman he loved, but did give him more insight whether he wanted it or not into Sark's motivations.

With Sydney scaling the walls of the building in France on the screen before them, Irina cringed knowing what they were about to see.

_Irina had seen the CIA team approaching and knew she had limited time to secure the server switch and corner Sydney. With heart pumping wildly, she crept up behind the guard, hoping to subdue him without killing him but it was not his luck or hers. He'd turned around and saw her and with the element of surprise no longer on her side, the only way to subdue him was to kill him. _

_Her stiletto slit his throat and she watched as his eyes rolled back in his head, shaking her own that she'd had to kill him and quickly set to work removing his bracelet. She knew Sydney would be hot on her heels and turned the chair with the guard away, setting him as bait so she 'could' surprise Sydney and hopefully subdue her before either fired shots. _

_Her breath almost caught seeing her daughter again when Sydney crept into the room before her and hesitated a moment before announcing her presence._

_"Hello Sydney." Irina spoke just seconds before hitting her daughter in the stomach with the electric tazer, the safest way to subdue Sydney even if it was damn painful. She hit her with it once more seeing Sydney's gun still within reach and quickly kicked it out of the way. She knew she didn't have a lot of time before Sydney's backup would arrive and immediately began with her demands. _

_She had to blink back her own tears seeing Sydney in pain on the ground below her, at her own hand and then panicking when she watched her erase the servers so desperate to save her friend. _

_Sydney was in anguish to have the power to save Will just within her reach only to have it taken away by her own mother; a mother who now stood over her after electrocuting her repeatedly for whatever purpose…Sydney didn't know or really care about in that moment. _

_All she knew was the pain at losing the ability to save Will when it was her fault he was caught up in this mess. But of course, hearing her mother say she saved a copy but wanted something from her in exchange for it only enraged Sydney further. _

_The monster standing above her was not her mother…No mother would do this to their daughter. _

_"Go to hell." Sydney seethed and Irina felt the sting at seeing the sheer hate flowing from Sydney's pores. _

_Irina supposed she expected that reaction but to actually hear it and see it, the hate in Sydney's eyes after having seen the love_ _again…struck a deep chord with Irina. _

_She quickly relayed what would happen if Sydney didn't help her and saw the anguish reappear on her daughter's face when she realized she really had no choice…commit treason or her friend would die. _

**_*Fallen*_**

_By the time Irina arrived back at her house in Paris, the images of Sydney withering in pain and crying below her had felt like they were eating Irina alive. _

_'What kind of mother electrocutes and blackmails her own daughter? Shoots her?' She berated herself rapidly stepping forward and thrashing her arm back in anger, striking out and clearing the top of the her dresser breaking whatever was in her way, and seeing her reflection in the mirror, picked up a marble statue and hurled it at her image, shattering the glass into a hundred pieces. _

_'It's not worth it…You're destroying her as you're trying to save her…It's not worth it!' She screamed at herself with raging tears now falling from her eyes. 'What have I done?' She cried sinking down to the ground, burying her head in her folded arms over the end of her bed, sobbing. _

"_I lost everything in my life that was important to me…sunken so low as to justify hurting Sydney in the name of protecting her…again and again and again…when was enough, enough?"_ Lena narrated as the camera pulled back from an aerial view of Irina crying. _"I couldn't do it anymore. I'd decided to do whatever I needed to do to help Sydney clear Will and give up everything on Rambaldi. I couldn't do it anymore." _She repeated and the lyrics conveyed the rest of Irina's feelings in the song playing over the scene and continuing over the next as they watched her send the information to clear Will and then board her jet, staring out the window with silent streams of tears refusing to cease as images of Sydney at all ages of her life flitted through her mind.

The smiles and '_Mommy I love you'_ thrown in with the looks of anguish at being shot and then electrocuted by her mother. She was going to see Sydney one last time and offer her help, without hurting her in the process.

_"I'd tried to help and only made it worse…messed up beyond any redemption, I knew as I'd sunken so low…"_ Lena continued as Irina watched Vaughn and Sydney at the rink, _"The only thing I could really do for Sydney now, was to confess everything and then leave… again…my presence and interference in her life only caused her more pain."_

Watching the confrontation between the two at the ice rink and hearing Irina explain how she pulled her plan off to Sydney was as awe-worthy as it was painful.

Everyone was in awe of her brilliance with the immaculate details of the plan now summarized and painful in watching the breakdown between them. Irina giving everything up she'd worked on for almost the last two decades because of her love for Sydney, knowing she wasn't going to have her in her life anyway…but giving it to her as the only thing left to offer…what was left of her soul.

_"…it was painful…because my love for you…for your father was not a contrivance." _

And there it was. The line that Sydney had left out of her debrief as well as the next that stunned them all and made what was happening even more heartbreaking.

_"Sydney, I know our relationship is complicated, but I'm your mother…and I have to believe, that'd be the case under any circumstance." _

Everyone cringed, and some jumped watching Irina knock Sydney out by slamming her elbow into Sydney's temple.

_"I'm sorry…so sorry." Irina cried, tears falling rapidly down her face as she smoothed her hand over Sydney's head, her daughter now unconscious beneath her on the ice. She kissed Sydney's forehead and inspected the gash on her daughter's head before leaving, making sure it wasn't too severe_. _"I'm so sorry, Sweetheart." She palmed Sydney's face with both hands, resting their foreheads together and trying to stop a sob but failing before rapidly kissing Sydney's forehead and both cheeks. "I love you." She whispered in Russian and quickly jumped to her feet, making her way out of the building and pulling out her cell phone as she did notifying the rink management of where Sydney was._

Sydney could barely breath watching her mother's reaction after she'd been knocked out; how painful it was for her to say goodbye for what she believed to be a final time.

The scene had been painful to watch for both of them she knew when she felt her mother's thumb brushing over the back of her hand and the glimmer of tears on her cheeks.

Irina was intrigued to hear Jack defending her motives in a sad way in the debriefing, admitting out loud for the first time that she was '_not without feeling.' _

The scene cut to Julian with Sloane's meeting in Zurich.

_"I told you Irina would betray us Mr. Sark, and she has," Sloane slithered snake like around his desk and sat on the edge facing Julian, with folded hands, "She has lost sight of the quest for Rambaldi…her judgment, clouded by her feelings for Jack and Sydney. They are her real family, Julian. In spite of how she may act around others or what she may tell you, Irina loves them." He looked intently into Julian's eyes, purposely making him feel like less in Irina's eyes. "You are merely a business associate, one she so easily cast aside in favor of them…one she won't hesitate to betray again. Join with me, Mr. Sark…and we'll continue the quest for Rambaldi together." _

Irina's free hand balled into a fist at seeing Sloane manipulating Julian by using his feelings against him, knowing exactly how to get to him. If she hadn't already killed him, she would do so in this moment…tired of the man who'd toyed with all their lives for too long.

Jack's abduction followed along with Kendall's debrief informing everyone that Irina had betrayed them when it hadn't been her at all.

The scene cut to Irina's teary face staring out over the city of Los Angeles from some balcony while Lena narrated her thoughts.

_"Hearing that I'd been betrayed not only by Sloane, but by Julian, too… was soul crushing. He, who was like my son, whom I trusted with my life had betrayed me to my enemy and helped him in kidnapping Jack. I knew that Sloane believed Jack to be in the prophecy and the reason for the abduction but I couldn't allow them to harm Jack in anyway to further their own quest. The mole I still had inside the CIA had informed my people that they still had no leads on Jack's whereabouts or Sloane's…but I knew of one person who did. As much as it pained me to do so, I wasn't about to let Jack be hurt or possibly killed…and so I made the call." _

The phone conversation with Sydney followed and Julian's insides were twisting in knots having heard and seen Irina's reaction to finding out he betrayed her to Sloane and in turn, having her turn on him to save Jack.

During the mission in Sweden to capture Sark, Vaughn couldn't help the smile the crept onto his lips watching his onscreen self slam his brother-in-law's head into the glass, remembering it felt good at the time to do so…So much had changed in the years since. He turned his head and caught Julian's small smile, giving him a nod as if to say 'touche' and he too could appreciate the exchange.

As soon as Sydney informed the CIA Jack was in Mexico City, calling in with this information from the plane on the way from Stockholm to Mexico, Irina was informed via her people through the mole and headed south. She'd arrived shortly before the CIA and heard the gunfire as she raced up the stairwell, intending to ensure Jack's retrieval.

"Damn…" Weiss snickered with a giddy smile like always at seeing 'combat ready Irina' and watching the scene unfold onscreen having not seen any of this action or Irina that night as he was busy rescuing Jack.

_When Irina burst into the hallway with guns blazing to help Sydney and Vaughn who were pinned down, she knew it'd be too much to hope for that her stubborn daughter would actually listen to her and go after Sloane instead of coming after her. _

_"Go after Sloane!" She yelled at Sydney and then quickly cursed to herself in Russian seeing her daughter immediately running after her. This was the last thing she wanted: another face off situation with Sydney._

_She ran as hard as she could up flight after flight of stairs hearing Sydney's pounding feet not far behind and hoping she could make it over the ledge before her daughter reached her. _

Jack's heart had all but stopped when Sydney trained her weapon on Irina, who was balancing precariously on the ledge having feared witnessing this moment, terrified after only hearing about it. That they had edited the scene with the song of Irina's letter to Sydney only added that much more emotion to the pivotal scene.

**_*The Reason*_**

_Irina knew Sydney wouldn't hesitate to shoot her but she was also not about to let Sydney take her in. She told her daughter what she needed to know before saying her final 'goodbye.' _

_"Good Luck, Sweetheart." She smiled and saw the look of terror flash through Sydney's eyes as her daughter realized what she was saying… standing on the ledge and having no intent in letting her bring her in. The look of anger in Sydney's eyes immediately turning fearful and voice quivering as she ordered her to get down. _

Irina's hand squeezed Sydney's tightly; knowing what was coming next had not been easy on her daughter.

_"I love you…" Irina felt her own tears beginning to blur her eyes staring intently at Sydney before letting herself go, and freefalling backwards off the ledge. _

The entire audience gasped right along with Sydney onscreen, their reactions mirroring hers and then holding their breath watching Irina blasting through the windows and slamming into the side of the skyscraper.

Jack wanted to cover his eyes watching Irina pull herself up through the broken window. Katya who didn't think there was anything left her sister could do to stun her, sat with wide blurry eyes and mouth agape at the astonishing insanity Irina had just pulled off. She'd remembered Irina jumping from the roof of the house and out of trees as a child, falling and breaking her arm in her adventures but this 'took the cake' as the American's said.

_The glass shards were tearing into her arms as she pulled herself up and when she finally rolled inside, jumping into a stance the room had been cleared of people. Her eyes immediately shifted to the large glinting piece of glass sticking out from under her right arm. _

The audience cringed audibly and shifted in their seats when she pulled it out, revealing how deep it had been imbedded into her flesh.

_She knew she didn't have much time before the tactical team found her and ran through the halls toward the elevator shafts. Quickly, she pulled out her large knife and jammed it into the crack in the elevators doors, pressing with all her strength to crack them open. _

The more she pressed, the more blood erupted from her arms horrifying the audience and her family even further.

When the doors finally gave way, she looked down into the twenty-story free fall where the elevator was waiting near the bottom floor and Jack's heart stopped again watching as she took a step back and then lunged over the crevice to grab the elevator cables. He had no idea how she was able to hold on and slide down with cut muscles in her arms but they all watched in amazement as she did; landing on top of the elevator stopped on the second floor.

_Irina removed the ceiling panel and dropped inside, wedging open the doors in the same way as before and cautiously sweeping the hallway before running towards the sign marked 'Emergency Exit.'_

_The building was already in lockdown mode and in doing so they'd managed to shut off the alarm system as well making it easy for her to slip out the Emergency Door onto the fire escape and into the alley. _

The scene rapidly cut with the song lyrics still playing of Irina in her jet, flying to Australia and furiously writing out the letter from hence the lyrics came with images of Sydney flashing through her mind. Her tear stained face and blood soaked bandaged arms were symbolic in that she was literally bleeding from the inside out, pouring her soul into the letter and finding her solace in doing so.

From Irina's plane the scene cut to the one carrying the CIA team home and the conversation between Jack and Sydney. Irina was in tears listening with pounding heart the struggle her daughter was in trying to understand her motives then with Jack surprising her with his defense of her love.

_"Sydney, I can't speak for your mother or even begin to explain to you, how her mind works or her motives in all this when I don't understand it myself…but I do believe…that for all her lies and deceit, she means it when she says she loves you...It may not be the most conventional way, but I do believe it's genuine. I know I said differently when she first turned herself into the CIA, but watching her with you…listening to her speak of you and with you, over the time period she was in our custody… Sydney…I think you already know this." _

_"I can't believe you're saying this! You're the one who's been telling me all along that I can't trust anything she says or does. Now you're telling me that I should believe she really does love me?" _

They all couldn't help but shake their heads astonished at how incredibly far they'd come since this day. Their love for each other was an absolute truth now and each would defend it until their last breath, never doubting how the other felt now.

* * *

_"I just remembered…Francie doesn't like coffee ice cream." Allison held the gun on Sydney._

Now it was Jack and Irina's turn to hold their breath as parents watching the fight between Sydney and Allison and seeing how incredibly violent it had been. Realizing how incredibly lucky they were, she wasn't killed.

Julian was having an extremely difficult time watching the scene between his then girlfriend and his now sister, trying to kill each other and knowing how badly it was going to end…and then it did. With Sydney pumping an entire magazine clip into Allison's chest just before passing out herself.

They watched with tear filled eyes as Vaughn returned for her and found the mess and Will bleeding to death in the bathtub. Since they had no idea how Sydney and Allison were moved, the scene ended with the CIA telling Jack it was a match with Sydney's blood.

**_*Crockett's Theme*_**

_Sydney, Australia_

Completely unaware on the other side of the world just starting a new day, they watched from a helicopter view as 'they' flew rapidly towards Sydney Harbor bridge and then under it, passing the Opera House and catching up with a speed boat, focusing in on Irina sitting in the back while her driver took her across the bay to her spectacular home in the cliffs with an amazing view behind her.

The boat pulled into a stop along side her dock and she jumped out, thanking her driver and heading toward the house while he stayed behind. Her security that had met her on the plane following behind her until she reached the front door where they held it open and let her pass, but remained outside.

_Irina was exhausted but before she could even think of rest, she needed her arms stitched as even the fresh bandages after her shower on the plane were already seeping with blood. The butterfly strips weren't enough and the doctor she trusted should be arriving at any moment to take care of it. _

_As she passed through her bedroom, looking just at it had more then a year ago when she last saw it, her heart jumped in her chest seeing the framed photo of Sydney on the nightstand. Her daughter's beautiful smiling face in the photograph a sharp contrast to the last image seared into her mind of Sydney's face on the roof. _

_She picked up the photo and ran her finger over Sydney's cheek with a sad smile, whispering, "I love you, Sweetheart…forever and always," before setting it down again and she started stripping off her clothes, stained with blood from the leaking bandages and headed for the shower. _

**_*Natural Blues*_**

The image of Irina's naked back and hair swept over one shoulder as she went into the bathroom became the transition as the camera circled rapidly and once again her naked back was on display with a young male doctor sat just off to the side behind where she sat on a stool on the deck, facing Sydney Harbor while he sutured the backs of her arms.

Irina seemed to be staring off into space but it soon became clear with the rapid flashes of images she'd been thinking…of everything over the course of her life.

From her childhood through the past week, the sights, sounds and people of her life flashed before her eyes like some might describe in a moment before they die.

They needed no narration from Lena as to what Irina was thinking from the images they were seeing and the lyrics of the song…she was examining her life and trying to figure out what to do with it now that she'd given up everything she knew.

The profile view of Irina's face with her hair blowing softly in the breeze around her as the camera zoomed in and begun to circle her became the next transition as when it pulled back it showed Irina standing on the top of the Aboriginals sacred Uluru Rock in the Central Australia bush, looking over the vastness of the Outback.

_"I'd cut myself completely off with everyone…needing to find and center myself once again. The morning after I arrived in Sydney I'd left for the Outback, needing to be alone with nature to try and make my peace with God…with myself and to find the strength inside to go on again."_ Lena's voice cut across the screen while the camera continued to spin slowly away from her in another spectacular aerial shot that showed just how small Irina was in the world conveying exactly how she felt.

* * *

The scene then cut to Irina with her hair in a loose messy humid curled ponytail, dirt smudges on her face flinging her bag onto the counter in some tiny bar in the middle of nowhere Australia with the notation of, "_Seven Weeks Later_" printed below her at the bottom of the screen.

_"Do you have a phone I could use?" She smiled her beautiful drop you to your knees smile at the bartender behind the bar drying glasses, blowing a wayward strand of curly hair out of her face and speaking with an Aussie accent as to not draw further attention to herself. _

_"Behind there," He smiled her nodding in the direction of two swinging saloon doors behind her, "How long you been in the bush?" He asked with a thick accent of his own as he poured her an ice-cold mug of beer, sliding it down the bar._

_"A couple of months," She smiled, reaching out and stopping the mug from sliding past her. _

_"All by yourself?" He quirked his eyebrow at her, noting she was alone._

_"Yes," she dug through her bag for some coins for the phone and removed her gun, placing it in the waistband of the back of her pants and flashing him another dangerous playful grin, "I can take care of myself."_

_"I can see that." He returned the smile, with raised eyebrows and a small chuckle watching her walk towards the phones. _

_The phone rang through twice before he picked up, "Dmitri…its me." She sighed leaning back against the wall made of dry wood with a sigh and wiping her sweaty brow. _

_"Irina!" Dmitri gasped over the other end, "We're are you? I've been trying to reach you for weeks! You just disappeared and no one knew where to! Is Julian with you? I couldn't reach him either-"_

_"No, he's not with me." Irina cut him off, her brows pinching and the sting of Julian's betrayal still fresh in her heart. "What's wrong?"_

_"It's about your daughter…" Dmitri's voice was low and heavy with emotion._

_"What about her? What's wrong with Sydney?" Irina's heart began to pound and she spun away from the wall, towards the corner._

_"Your mole inside the CIA contacted Grigor about two months ago that she was missing." _

_"Missing! What do you mean missing?" Irina's heart was literally pounding so hard her chest was bouncing, 'Two months!' Her mind screamed at the passing of time, already internally cursing herself for not taking a SAT phone at least. Her fingers immediately moving to press the button on her watch and turning on her GPS locator. "Send the helicopter and start talking…" She immediately went into command mode of The Man, which was also mixing dangerously with 'Protective Mama' instincts._

_"Shortly after returning from a mission in Mexico City, Sydney went missing…and they said it looked as though she'd been taken by extreme force and she's believed to have…been injured." He added the last part hesitantly knowing Irina's response. _

_"Injured how, Dmitri? Do they have any leads? Anything?" She was trying to keep from panicking knowing that Sloane had to have something to do with this._

_"I don't know what they believe her injuries to be and as far as I know, they have no leads but you are on their watch list as a possible suspect." He'd never gotten this involved in Irina's 'other' affairs ever before in his life but with no outlet in Julian or Irina, the officers in her organization had passed along the Intel to him, knowing he would likely be one of the first she'd contact. "I'm sorry, that's all I know."_

_Irina hung up the phone with Dmitri and felt like she was about to explode in a mix of emotions and willed the helicopter to get to her faster. Knowing she had to wait for it, and then the return flight to her house in Sydney before she could get on the phone and get answers was adding to her rapidly rising tension. _

_She stalked over to her beer and downed it, wiping her mouth with the back of her arm and looking at the astonished bartender and the only other patron in the place. _

_"Do you have anything stronger?" she asked hoping for some liquor to calm her raging nerves before she started shooting the shit out of the place with her gun, feeling the need to do some damage. _

_"My supplier doesn't get out into these parts often," He looked at her apologetically and reached under the bar, "All I've got is Jack." He held up a bottle of Jack Daniels. _

The audience immediately erupted in laughter, including Sydney and Jack, in spite of the seriousness of the situation onscreen and Irina cringed now, knowing she was pregnant then.

_"Great. Just great." Irina sighed and rolled her eyes, whispering under breath, "That's more then I've got…" She reached out again with catlike reflexes and caught the bottle sliding down the bar, taking a giant swig and letting it burn through her._

_The thundering sound of chopper blades echoed in the distance, growing louder as they neared and Irina slung her bag over her shoulder; slammed a wad of cash onto the bar and finished off what was left in the bottle. _

_"That's my ride. Gentlemen." She nodded at them with a smile as the helicopter landed just outside the front of the bar sending a raging wind through the place along with dirt and sand. _

_The helicopter Dmitri dispatched had been based in Alice Springs and hadn't taken long to arrive at the desolate location. _

_Before long she was flying rapidly over the rough desert-like terrain towards Sydney and her mind already moving a million miles an hour with possibilities. She was going to find her baby...and Heaven help whomever it was that had taken her. _

**_*Bourne Supremacy Theme*_**

After watching Irina sending the CIA information on who had Sydney and where, they all held their breath again at seeing the gorgeous outline of Red Square and St. Basil's Cathedral in Moscow at sunset flash onto the screen, knowing what was coming…the night they all dreaded seeing, especially Jack.

_Moscow, Russia_

Irina, already dressed in black battle dress slid into the back of the limo where Dmitri met her at the airport.

_"Its good to see you again, Your Highness, though I wish under different circumstances," Dmitri looked at her in the rearview mirror, watching as she double checked her gear in the black duffle bag beside her, shifting its contents into a black backpack instead._

_"As do I, Dmitri," She slid further down against the seat and lifted her leg, giving her better access to strap her gun holsters around her thighs. "You're certain that Alexei is in the area?" She secured the last leather strap with eyes flashing to Dmitri's in the mirror as he navigated through Moscow's streets. _

_If Sydney was hurt worse then Pytor told them, and she was able to get her out…her daughter was going to need to see a doctor immediately. _

_"Yes, he's still in town for the conference about the opening of the new hospital…as is Ekaterina." He added softly, his eyes darting away as he turned a corner heading toward the warehouse district. "You're going in without any backup?" He asked after a moment of silence, not liking this idea at all. There was something very unsettling that he couldn't put his finger on. "Where's Julian?"_

_"Julian betrayed me, Dmitri." She answered flatly, zipping the bag closed with excessive force showing how she felt, "He betrayed me to my enemy." Her eyes finally looked up to see Dmitri's wide astonished ones staring back at her in the mirror. "As far as I know, he's in CIA custody. I trusted him with my life and he double-crossed me…if I can't trust him to watch my back? Who else can I trust in this? No one. From now on, I work alone." She answered resolutely with a piercing gaze before turning to look out the window as her city passed by in the night. _

Julian swallowed hard and slid slightly down into his seat, feeling heated eyes suddenly on him from every direction, whether real or imagined from his guilt at betraying her, Irina, his mother and for Sloane. He'd really been played the fool by losing control of his emotions.

_When the limo pulled into a dark alley between two large brick warehouses, Irina slung the bag over her shoulder and paused to look at Dmitri when he turned off the car and then looked back over the seat at her. _

_"Wait here…if I'm not back in forty minutes," She pulled the safety off the gun in her hand, "I want you to leave." It wasn't a request; it was an order and one he nodded solemnly to agree with. "I'll see you soon." She gave him a small smile and quickly exited the back of the limo. _

_"May God be with you, Child," Dmitri closed his eyes in prayer when the door closed behind her and then opened again, turning in his seat to watch her move stealthily through the dark like a ninja, across the street and jump to grab hold of an old iron ladder on the side of the warehouse in front of him; shimming her way with rapid grace to the top high above and over the side disappearing._

They watched in utter fascination and horror at the sequence of events that followed, with Irina once again lunging off the side of a building, crashing through the glass and facing off with the three men holding Sydney hostage.

They felt sick hearing Cuvee's taunting and when he stabbed her hand clean through, pinning it to the table in defense of Sydney…some thought they'd be sick; especially when she tried to pull it out and it only made the knife go further through her hand. Katya now had a glaring image to go with the wreckage she saw only 'after.'

And then…they watched as Irina snapped.

**_*O Fortuna*_**

_She lunged for Cuvee with an intense rage, firing at Sloane simultaneously knowing she'd only have one shot to take them both out and felt the sharp shoot of pain tear through her chest and steal her breath at the same time she felt the warm stream on intermixing blood where she'd lodged the knife into Cuvee's neck. _

_The momentum had carried them both forward and when they landed, she rolled off of him. Somewhere through the glaring white noise now rushing through her ears she heard the sound of automatic gunfire and knew the CIA had finally arrived. _

_She dropped her gun on the floor beside her, staring blindly at the blade almost cutting her hand in half and pulled hard, tearing it free and sending a spray of blood everywhere. _

_Time seemed to be in slow motion as she picked her gun back up, conscious of the fact she was now gasping for every breath and feeling a tremendous pressure on her chest she stood. _

_Blackness temporarily blocking her vision she forced her legs to move and run towards the door, firing at the area above the agents flying in a whir of black through the window. _

_She was almost to the door when she felt another bullet rip through the flesh of her abdomen, knocking her backwards into the hall from its force and stealing what little breath she had left while somewhere in the fog slowly consuming her senses she heard a horrific scream of 'No!' _

_Her eyes rose from the new gaping wound to that of the shooter and for that moment, time stood absolutely still to be looking into the dark eyes of Jack…still aiming the smoking gun in her direction. _

_She turned, seeing the stairwell so close and dove for it, dropping her gun and grabbing the railing with the one good hand she still had left, trying to support herself and feeling her body trying to give out. _

_She tripped and fell, rolling down several steps before landing upright and forcing herself to keep moving, sliding and running, and leaning on the railing trying to fight off the blackness surrounding the edges of her vision. _

_She knew she'd never make it to the car with her rapid blood loss pumping wildly from her chest wound with the exertion and with trembling hands, she forced the fingers of her wounded hand into the fairly large hole in her chest with the other as a way to temporarily stem the flow all the while she kept moving. _

"Oh my God…" Sydney covered her mouth, choking back a sob watching through blinding tears.

_Irina saw the car in sight, coming up behind it she forced her legs to keep moving and reached for the door handle twice before successfully opening it; she collapsed sideways into the backseat. _

_Damaged fingers still jammed into her chest, she picked up her cell phone and pressed the speed dial button for her sister…knowing she would need her to survive this…she would literally need her rare blood. Her vision already gone and unconsciousness claiming her quickly, she was able to get out, "Katya… I need you," before her world went black._

**_*Time*_**

_Dmitri had flown out of the car the moment he turned around and looked over the seat to see Irina lying sideways across the backseat, covered in blood and still with one leg hanging half way out of the car. By the time he'd reached the back in mere seconds, he watched in horror as her hand dropped limp to her side, head lolled over and blood pouring from her mouth and chest and everywhere it looked to him. _

_He could hear the faint but sharp shrill scream of "Irina!" coming from the other end of the phone and reached in rapidly to pick it up. _

_"Irina!" Katya screamed through her tears again, with no answer when she heard Dmitri's voice._

_"Katya… get Alexei and meet us at the back Emergency Entrance of the hospital!" Dmitri, shouted, "I don't have time to explain just go! Hurry!" He dropped the phone, choking back his own tears and running on adrenaline and carefully but quickly picked up Irina's leg and moved it inside the car. _

_Shutting the door carefully as to not make too much sound and ran to the front, jumping in starting it, taking off quickly, knowing that whomever did this to her, would no doubt, not be too far behind and she was rapidly bleeding to death in the back of the car. _

_Katya had done as told and informed Alexei of what she knew which was very little. The hospital hadn't been opened yet and the Emergency Room was clear of everyone and had quite a few supplies and equipment already for use. _

_They couldn't prepare for what they were going to do as they had no idea what had happened, only that it was bad. They were both waiting outside with a gurney when Dmitri tore up to the doors, flying out of the limo almost before he had it in park reaching the rear of the car just as Katya opened the back door revealing Irina._

_Katya's mouth immediately fell open in a silent scream seeing her sister completely covered in blood and lying limp in the back seat; the raging tears of fear now turned to horror gripping her as both Alexei and Dmitri pushed past her with Dmitri climbing inside the car to kneel beside Irina. _

_His face glancing over her quickly and looking frantically to Alexei. _

_"She's using her fingers to stem the blood flow… I'm afraid if we remove- She's not breathing!" Dmitri realized in horror._

_"We need to move quickly," Alexei commanded in absolute control, motioning for Dmitri to go ahead._

_Dmitri quickly slid his hands under her and pulled her out of the car, laying her on the gurney and her hand fell away causing a rush of blood to gush from the chest wound. _

_"Ekaterina, put your fingers there!" Alexei commanded as he and Dmitri began to move Irina inside, "Ekaterina!" He screamed when she appeared frozen in place, "She's bleeding to death! Help me!" _

_If they didn't stop the flow of blood she would be dead in under a minute.'_

_Katya immediately jumped into action and with trembling hesitant fingers hovering just over the wide open bullet wound oozing crimson, she plunged them into her sister's chest, walking quickly alongside the gurney with her tears never ceasing and silent sobs contorting her face in agony. She could actually feel Irina's heart beat slowly and erratically beneath her fingertips and she could not tear her eyes away from her sister's face. _

_They wheeled her quickly into the new Emergency Room. _

_"Breathe for her!" Alexei commanded again and Katya looked at him again with wide-eyes but did as she was told, holding her sister's nose closed with trembling fingers of the other hand and fusing her mouth over Irina's bloody one, breathing into her sister and sharing her breath. _

_"I can feel it against my fingers…" Katya's voice trembled and more tears, rained down having felt the breath escaping Irina's lungs beneath her fingers inside her sister's chest. Her own mouth now sporting a bloody ring in a grisly fashion and tasting the metallic sting of her sister's blood in her mouth. _

_"Her lung is punctured." Alexei realized, flying over to a shelf and digging madly for a bagging unit and placing it over Irina's mouth, squeezing more air into her. _

_"I felt it again." Katya tried to hold back her sob. _

_"Keep bagging her," He commanded passing the bag to her, "She's still getting oxygen. Time the squeeze with your breaths but keep them slow and steady." _

_Alexei immediately began scanning Irina's body, using a scalpel he cut down the middle of Irina's shirt, tearing the matted fabric away to access the damage and they all gasped at the carnage._

_"Dear God…" Alexei gasped, paling slightly taking notice of the wounds and immediately grabbing gauze and packing onto Irina's abdomen to try and stop that blood flow. "It hasn't penetrated her abdominal wall," He assessed the deep wound across her abdomen with a hint of relief._

Jack's eyes were unblinking staring at the wound he'd made when he shot her. Irina had glossed it over severely by calling it '_just a graze'_ considering how deep it truly had been and how much blood was now pouring out of it on the screen before him, soaking the white bandages in a deep crimson in seconds.

_"It's bad," Alexei continued to try and pack Irina's abdominal wound, "but unless we fix this, first," He motioned with his head towards her chest. He didn't finish his thought while he set to work flying around the room and pressing a red 'Call Button' of on the wall calling for additional help._

_"Her heart is slowing down… I can feel it," Katya choked back her sob, tearing her gaze away from Irina to look at Alexei with a tortured gaze as her three fingers remained inside her sister's chest. _

_"I'm going to need both of your help to do this and you must do what I say when I say it with no hesitation if we're going to save her life." He looked at both Dmitri and Katya who both nodded, too scared to death not to just as a middle aged nurse came flying through the doors…Alexei's assistant nurse in Moscow who could be trusted with Irina's safety. _

_Her eye's flashed with the same horror at looking at Irina and Katya's fingers in her chest but looked immediately to Alexei for instruction. _

_"Tasha, I need you to start a direct IV line into Irina, and a heavy antibiotic and then a direct blood line from Katya," He looked at Katya to Irina, "To her sister for now." _

_Tasha immediately set to work, sliding a high stool under Katya for her to sit on, at the same time Dmitri set to work stripping all Irina's clothes and Alexei prepared his instruments. _

No one in the theatre was moving or at times breathing as they all watched with wide eyes and pounding hearts.

The scene cut to all of them now covered in surgical attire, masks over their faces, preparing for surgery all happening within moments. Irina lay on the table now, covered from the waist down with a blue surgical sheet, wads of bloody gauze covering her abdomen and the bullet wound there. Another sheet of surgical blue was over her chest but with a strategically clipped and sliced opening straight down her center now marked with a glaring yellowish brown swirl of antiseptic prep. She was hooked up to several IVs and as ordered, a direct line of blood was now passing from Katya into her sister. Extremely dangerous for Katya but she knew the risks and insisted upon it.

The very slow and erratic beats of Irina's heart were registering on the machine behind Katya and a tube was now down Irina's throat, taped to her face; a ventilator had taken over her breathing though Katya's fingers remained in her chest.

A loud gasp encompassed the theatre when Alexei drew the scalpel down Irina's chest, cutting open her skin.

"Oh God…" Bella gasped in horror when he then reached for the Bone Saw and the buzz filled the room.

_Alexei nodded at Katya who turned her face away in a grimace when she felt the shake in her hand as the saw vibrated through her from Irina's body as he began sawing through her ribcage._

The audience view from the camera angle was partially obstructed as it circled round the room and looked over each of their shoulders.

_"And there's her abnormally large heart." Alexei announced astonished to see it for the first time not on x-ray. "Still beating." He sighed with a small smile of thanks as he quickly inspected the internal damage and began hooking her up to a heart and lung machine. "And here it is." He shook his head after his fingers delicately dug around in her chest and removed the silver bullet, holding it up to look at it. _

_Katya wasn't going to look but for some reason she found herself turning around, first at the bullet and then wanting to see her sister's heart, Irina's actual beating heart. To see it still beating was the most beautiful thing she could possibly image in this moment and felt new tears wetting her facemask. _

The scene flew through a series of montage shots showing the passage of time through the surgery and everyone watched as slowly Irina was put back together and at her side, Katya slowly faded.

By the end of the surgery, Katya was lying in a bed next to her sister's, so close they were touching with Katya still gripping Irina's good hand in her own; having passed out from such a low blood volume after donating to Irina and was now hooked to several IVs herself. Three additional nurses had also seemingly come from nowhere and joined in helping Alexei during the surgery.

_"I'm afraid I can't do anything with her hand." Alexei finally spoke his concern to Dmitri now that Katya had passed out, unable to hear. "The damage is so severe…" He shook his head sadly while finishing the third layer of stitches closing Irina's abdominal wound. The bullet had torn all the way through to the muscle. _

_"What does that mean?" Dmitri asked horrified, swallowing hard at having an idea already. _

_"That I may have to remove her hand, I may have to amputate." Alexei's sad gaze looked up to Dmitri's working on the last of the bright blue stitches in the giant upside down "T" pattern of stitches and staples now covering Irina's entire torso. _

_"Oh God, no… please, Alexei, you've got to try something! Anything!" Dmitri felt new tears falling at the horror of her losing her hand. _

_"There is a surgeon in St. Petersburg I trust to do it right. He's the best there is in Russia for reconstructive surgery. But we have to do the surgery immediately." He glanced down to the hand wrapped so heavily in gauze no fingers were visible and it looked like a giant Q-Tip at the end of her arm. _

_"Will she be stable enough to move tonight?" Dmitri asked with great concern but hopeful there was a chance. "We have to leave Moscow… she's not safe here and the people who did this are still looking for her." He added when Alexei threw him a surprised eyebrow. _

Jack swallowed hard, finding his mouth dry and eyes with blurred tears being one of those responsible for 'this.'

_"Yes, I believe so… thankfully it's only a short flight." Alexei nodded, "You should go start making the preparations for the plane immediately. I'm almost finished here."_


	30. Chapter 30

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Idylls End by Hans Zimmer from Batman Begins Soundtrack, Walkaway from Meet Joe Black Soundtrack, The Russian Spy and I, The Saddest Song I've Got, So Cold **_**by****Ben Cocks feat. ****Nikisha Reyes- Pile**_**,**__** I Love You **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, ******__De Usuahia a la Quiaca_****** by Gustavo Santaolalla from The Motorcycle Diaries********,**_********__ ****__Mas Que Nada _**********by Sergio Mendes**_********__****__, ****__Adagio for Strings, Op. 11. by Samuel Barber.__**  
**_

* * *

THIRTY

o

From the hospital in Moscow they saw another montage of clips while they loaded both Irina and Katya onboard Irina's jet and took off for St. Petersburg in the middle of the night. They'd laid Katya beside Irina in the massive Imperial bed in Irina's room when the surgery on Irina's hand was finished and slowly Katya had begun to awaken.

**_*Idylls End*_**

_When she opened her eyes, Katya was staring at the mural on the ceiling and immediately she bolted upright in bed, remembering what had happened. The immediate rush sent a wave of pain through her head and left her cursing in Russian while she grabbed with her hand, squinting her eyes._

_"Easy, Ekaterina," Alexei spoke in a soft voice, smiling at her when she opened her eyes to look at him, realizing she wasn't alone._

_The rhythmic beats of the heart monitor caught her ear just before her eyes landed on the still form beside her, Irina._

_"Is she okay?" Katya gasp, afraid to reach out and touch her fragile looking ghostly pale sister in spite of the dark tan they knew was supposed to be there._

_"She will be." Alexei smiled, just as Dmitri entered the room with a tray of tea and sandwiches, setting them in the far corner away from the bed, "You saved her life, My Dear… your blood is what's pumping through her veins right now, keeping her alive."_

_"She would have done the same for me." Katya spoke softly feeling new tears building in her eyes and reaching out to take hold of her sister's hand, noticing the other was now covered in gauze with metal pins protruding everywhere._

_"Yes, she would have… because you're sisters and you love each other." Dmitri smiled softly, walking up behind Katya. "She needs you, Katya… now more then ever and I'm not talking about your life-giving blood." He sat at the end of the bed, "She's pregnant, Katya… pregnant." He repeated when her eyes widened astonished. He had been too when the first blood test came in during her second surgery._

_"Still?" Katya asked breathlessly as her eyes immediately scanned her sister beside her, still so incredibly broken and vulnerable and surrounded by machines helping to keep her alive._

_"Yes, as astonishing as it is, she's managed to stay pregnant and not miscarry through all this. We've done the blood test twice now. She's approximately four months along." Alexei smiled, "Another miracle amongst miracles." He lay his hand gently over Irina's abdomen, "I have to go make some calls and I'll be back in a bit." Alexei's smile remained, placing his hand over Katya's fingers and kissing her forehead. "Stay put for a while, Child and let your body adjust."_

_Katya nodded and focused her gaze on her sister's still form beside her._

_"The baby is not the only reason she needs you." Dmitri began once Alexei had departed, "Do you know where Irina has been this past year?" He looked intently at Katya, knowing she didn't. "She was in CIA custody. In prison, Katya, again."_

_Katya immediately gasped with a sharp intake of breath; her mind flooding with the stories she'd heard of her sisters' torture in Kashmir and fearing the same from the CIA._

_"As to the why, well, you'll have to ask her but she turned herself in, Katya." Dmitri's eyes filled with tears, "And something happened while she was away. I could see it and feel it when she returned, she was running from something again-"_

_"What?" Katya whispered in desperation; her fingers curling around Irina's in her hand._

_"I don't know for certain but she's seen Sydney again," His eyes shifted to Irina and he heard Katya's small sob, "Her daughter at least knows she's alive now but… She won't talk to me about it. She needs you on this, Katya. She 'needs' you. There is a desperateness I've not seen in her eyes since her release from Kashmir… when she cut us all out of her life." He gulped remembering the first day he'd seen Irina upon her release and the haunted look in her eyes that spoke of untold horrors and loss. Her lack of words and the way she wouldn't make eye contact. It had taken years for him to reconnect with her; come back into her life as her father wished. "I'm afraid for her." Dmitri gripped Katya's hand with both of his, his fatherly concern all consuming after this close call. "Please don't leave again." His voice pleaded knowing that this was usually the time that Katya departed after a crisis with her sister._

_"I'm not going anywhere." Katya shook her head softly with glaring tears, "I'm not leaving my sister, ever again." She looked back to Irina's face, marred with a giant bruise spreading from her temple and still she looked impossibly beautiful and serene in her sleep._

_This night had been life-altering for her and Katya knew things would never be the same. She wouldn't let them be. Once again her sister's life had hung in the balance but this time, she'd called on Katya in her time of need so desperate and had she not been there, Irina would have died. She had literally felt the life bleeding from her sister and in those moments, their life as children and since flashed through her mind._

_Katya had been trying to find a way to reconnect with her sister for all these years waiting for the right time and last night, she was met with the violent reality, time was not infinite and the right time was now. She wasn't going to let Irina be alone anymore, believing that she was unloved and despised for her past actions. She would take care of her sister for however long Irina needed her and in reality, she needed Irina just as much._

Both sisters were crying in remorse from their seats in the theatre watching the scene, Irina seeing it for the first time and hearing her family's concern for her at that time; Dmitri's fear she'd pull away again and Katya's obvious distress as they watched the passage of time over the next five days with her caring for Irina, standing vigil by her bed or by the window thinking about their past and what she would say but never leaving Irina's room; never leaving Irina as she promised.

She'd sit for hours simply holding Irina's hand, studying her face, counting her breaths and icing her bruises. Sometimes she'd hum lullabies or simply run her hand over Irina's forehead, fingering her hair gently as their mother had done when they were sleeping and little just as she'd done with her own children.

It was heartbreaking to witness Katya's struggle and worry and their eyes only continued to cry but for a new reason, when Irina's nightmarish flashback of Cuvee chaining her to the metal bed in his office raping her flashed onto the screen, and Katya darting from the window hearing her sister's cries and waking her gently as Irina came to screaming '_No!_'

_"You're safe." Katya spoke soothingly, running her hand lightly over Irina's forearm, anxious about this moment of facing her sister. "You got yourself into one hell of a mess this time sister."_

Everyone in the theatre was especially intrigued to see this first 'real' conversation and the changing point between Irina and Katya and all felt the sting with Irina's response to Katya in regards to saving her life of, _"Yes, but you didn't have to… you could have just as easily let me bleed to death and I wouldn't have blamed you."_

The seriousness of which she stated her belief was aching to this day inside Katya.

They all chuckled softly watching Irina's feeling expedition as she examined the damage once Katya had left and her funny facial expressions and retorts talking to herself save Sydney, who only felt the guilt once again that her mother's hand was nearly amputated because of the damage she'd saved her from receiving. Irina picked up Sydney's hand, and kissed the back of it with a soft smile, knowing exactly what Sydney was thinking by the look on her face.

The laughter returned again with Alexei's appearance onscreen filling Irina in on her condition and Irina's ability to lighten the serious mood with her smile and retort of, "_You should know better, Alexei, I am too stubborn to die."_

When Alexei spoke of 'miracles' and talked about the baby, the expression on Irina's face sent them into roaring laughter through the entire exchange, as it was clear she was completely blindsided with the new information.

_"Excuse me, but I could have sworn you just said, 'baby,' must be the drugs you've given me because we all know that, that's just not possible."_

When her immediate concern for the baby took over and her mind flashed through all that she'd been through in the last few months while pregnant, Jack shook his head blinking back fresh tears when the last image to run through her mind was that of looking down the barrel of a smoking gun after he shot her in the stomach. His own fingers instinctively curling more tightly around hers in the seat beside him and the other arm more securely around Lena who was still sleeping soundly against him… their little miracle.

_"And what about this?" Katya moved her eyes to Irina's stomach. "Who is did this?"_

_"Are you referring to the person who shot me or the father of the baby?" Irina paused only momentarily, "Because they are one in the same… Jack."_

"Ooh ouch!" Weiss hissed under his breath at that damning statement and all its implications, voicing aloud what everyone else was thinking.

_Katya couldn't hide the surprise at hearing her sister mention 'his' name for the first time, especially in regards to what she'd just revealed._

_"It seems as though we have a lot to talk about, my dear sister, you've been very busy." 'In more ways then one.' She thought to herself with a smirk, "Good thing you won't be going anywhere for a while."_

_"So it seems." Irina shrugged, wincing when she tried to move a little and it felt like she'd been kicked in the chest._

_"You need to stay still." Katya spoke softly, taking Irina's arm and stopping her from moving further._

_"I can't stand to lay this flat anymore," Irina looked up at her and the ceiling, not liking being on her back and 'immobile' held down by her own body's inadequacy and a flash of being held down in Kashmir blanketed her mind._

_"Well, I'm afraid you have to for a little while longer." Katya gave her a sympathetic look, "I don't know that your ribs are ready for the pressure of sitting up. We'll have to ask Alexei but I'm pretty certain after Open Heart Surgery you have to remain on your back for quite some time, at least sleeping that is… but I don't know about sitting up." She shrugged smoothing the blanket over Irina and looking up to see the surprise in her sister's eyes._

_Irina hadn't thought about 'how' they fixed her and found that bullet until this moment, her good hand slowly rose to her chest tracing lightly over the gauze covering it again._

_"He had to crack my chest?" She gulped with, a dryness in her throat speaking barely above a whisper, realizing that it made perfect sense but the reality of it. For all the injuries she'd endured over the years, Alexei had never had to open her chest before, he'd always found a way to fix her wounds and save her life without having to do so. To know that he had now, meant that her injuries were substantial this time._

**_*Walkaway*_**

_"Yes. We did." Katya nodded softly with fresh tears coming into her eyes as her mind flashed to those moments. "I saw your heart." She gave her sister a small smile and Irina's eyes instantly filled with tears, as a small gasp escaped and looked away, turning her face against the pillow. "It's a beautiful thing… to see it still beating," Katya's fingers reached out for the first time in years to her sister, gently running them under Irina's jaw line and turning her chin to look into her eyes, "I've never been more scared in all my life… I thought I was going to lose you… forever, Rina."_

_Irina held back a small sob at the gentleness in her touch and voice, lifting her good hand and running the back of one finger softly over Katya's cheek as she looked down at her, wiping away at the falling tear and staring into her sister's eyes, her heart aching at the connection felt and desperately missed._

_Katya felt herself getting choked up and smiled, swallowing hard not sure if she could get into this right now looking into the beautiful brown depths of her sister's sparkling eyes for the first time in too long. "Now…" She took Irina's hand from her face and kissed her fingers, continuing to hold her hand as they both wrapped their fingers around the others. She forged on, moving them forward, "Dmitri had told me you saw your Sydney again." Her eyes flooded with tears even as she smiled thinking about how emotional that had to be on her sister._

_"Yes," Irina smiled briefly as tears surged from her eyes and then her face contorted into a held in sob, "She's so beautiful… My baby… is all grown up." She released Katya's hand only to paw at her tears and then grasped desperately at it again, afraid of losing that connection._

_"And now you're having another." Katya smiled down at her with her own teary gaze of surprise and slight chuckle, using her free hand to wipe Irina's tears, not wanting her sister to let go of her hand again either. Her hand coming to rest gently on Irina's abdomen when she was done with the gentlest of touches, "Why don't you start at the beginning? Hmm?" She gave a brilliant smile of support to her sister, squeezing her fingers and looking into her eyes; the unspoken declaration and promise made to Irina, that she wasn't leaving her, she would be right here from now on and always. That she was no longer alone… she had her sister again._

The camera slowly pulled back from them, the image of Katya sitting beside Irina on the bed holding her hand tightly with the sunlight bathing them in its soft glow while the sisters reconnected talking softly and more tears pricked the audiences eyes at seeing something positive coming from such a painful situation.

They watched as Sydney confronted Julian about the kidnapping and then her return to St. Petersburg with both mother and daughter shaking their heads at just how 'close' they were to each other then, with both in the same city yet so very far apart in terms of understanding when they watched Sydney going over the file on the plane and crying in anger and confusion.

* * *

**_*Russian Spy and I*_**

_"And not just any Romanov, but 'thee' Romanov… According to this file, my mother's birth certificate reads, Her Imperial Highness: Tsarevicha Irina Nikolaevna Alexandra Dmitrievna Romanova Derevkova, Grand Duchess of all Russia... eldest daughter of Her Imperial Majesty: Tsarina Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova, Empress of all Russia."_

Sydney onscreen informed them when she returned and Irina shifted uncomfortably in her seat when Marshall took the now infamous disks to try and decode them.

The discomfort over the situation only continued for Irina running furious circles over the back of Sydney's hand watching as they went through her file.

_"She was so young."_ Sydney onscreen raised her eyebrows astonished as she looked at her mother's photograph again.

_"About the same age as you when you started at SD-6." Jack countered softly glancing up at her._

_"Yeah… but my missions were nothing like this… To move to an entirely foreign place… the country of your enemy at sixteen! Marry and have a baby… she was only twenty when she had me and twenty-six… when she left."_

They were all shaking their heads with Sydney amazed by that startling reality when put plainly in front of them in paper stating the facts.

It wasn't those reactions that were making Irina feel nauseous watching this discovery on film for the first time but their reactions to the 'miss-information' that she had given the KGB regarding Sydney's conception and birth; seeing they too were believing the fabricated 'explanations' and Sydney's horrified reaction to finding out and then believing, she was only saved from termination by her mother's own 'selfish reasons' instead of really wanting her.

This time it was Sydney who picked up on what her mother was thinking and feeling, a major tip-off being the constant shifting in her seat, the furious thumb circles and the glaring streams of silent tears and she casually leaned over, kissing her mother on the side of the mouth with a smile and whispering, "I know… you wanted me."

Irina smiled in return at her daughter's perceptions and cupped her cheek, kissing her forehead and then lips.

"I love you, Sweetheart." She whispered quietly in Russian, kissed Sydney's forehead again and then repeated it in English.

The laughter returned again with Irina's visit to Alexei at the clinic and he questioned her about the cardiac paddle scars.

_"What are these scars from? They're not what I think they are from are they?" He narrowed his eyes at her._

_"I had a bug_." She answered wearing that famous enigmatic smile as they all surged with laughter as the image of Jack implanting the tracker flew through her mind. _"He forgot to use gel." She added nonchalantly as another image of Julian zapping her flashed through just as quickly._

When Alexei had Irina lean back on the table to have the first look at Lena on the sonogram machine, Jack couldn't tear his eyes away from the glaring row of thick stitches and bruised skin ripping across her abdomen, just below Alexei's wand moving back and forth from where he'd shot Irina; swallowing hard once again when the sound of their baby's heartbeat filled the theatre.

A little life just an inch below that piercing bullet's path and he was reminded of just how close he came to ending that life and her mother's with that one bullet. His lips brushed over Lena's little head with prickling tears when the images of her first sonogram came onscreen.

**_*The Saddest Song I've Got*_**

_"Do you have an idea as to when you conceived?"_ Alexei asked onscreen as he measured the baby.

_"Yes." Irina answered him quietly, staring at the baby inside her and images of the night in Panama cutting through the blurry tears in her eyes. "February 14th."_

A small bit of laughter rippled through the teary-eyed audience with that answer and the flashes, all in awe of this beautiful moment of seeing the manifestation of that love for the first time before them.

_"Next time maybe we can see the sex. Come November 15th, you should have a beautiful new baby."_

Jack bit his lip and a tear escaped his eye watching the scene, wishing he'd been there. He turned his head and smiled softly when he felt Irina's finger graze his cheek, wiping his tear and found her smiling face. She leaned in and kissed his lips, holding her hand over his cheek and brushing her nose lovingly with his without saying a word before returning her gaze to the screen.

_"What?" Irina on the screen asked Katya in the limo on the way home, feeling her gaze._

_"I was just wondering how you planned on running the organization, pregnant. When you are practically on bed rest. Don't you think that's going to be a bit difficult and dangerous when people learn about the baby? Especially if Sloane and Cuvee are still after you to fulfill this Rambaldi Prophecy?" She asked eyeing Irina's stomach once again and the photo in her hand._

_Irina once again covered her stomach with her hand protectively and they all felt the tension with her over that valid concern, as it would later prove to be founded._

_"I don't know yet… I have to talk to Jack… I have to tell him."_

Irina answered so quietly and broken as she stared out the window it broke Jack's heart to witness and hear especially knowing the outcome when she did come to tell him.

He shook his head in agreement with Katya's astonishment that she wanted to tell him about the baby considering as she said, he'd just tried to kill her for the second time. Even in this moment, Irina defended his actions of trying to kill her in Moscow.

_"He was protecting Sydney… And he deserves to know the truth."_

_"The truth? What truth? Who you really are? That you're carrying his baby? That you still love him? Have always loved him?"_

Katya onscreen fired back and they all swallowed hard hearing for the first time someone confronting Irina with these truths out loud, forcing her to face them.

When Irina answered, "_All of it_," in barely above a whisper staring out the window with tears finally falling theirs did too at hearing her admitting it for the first time out loud.

_"And what if he doesn't want to hear it? What if he doesn't believe you? And if he does, what if he decides he can't forgive you? Takes the baby and puts you back in prison or worse has you executed?"_

_"I don't think Jack would do that…"_

Irina defended him yet again; believing in him when she had no reason to and it only made the ache of guilt that much worse for Jack wishing he'd believed in her as much as she had afforded him.

_"You don't think… Irina, he set you up and almost had you executed once before… he just shot you! You've lied to him about everything, destroyed his trust in you…what makes you think he won't?"_

_"I haven't lied to him about everything!"_

Irina onscreen fired back with passion and a cracking voice making them all gulp with pained tears for her and with her in this situation.

_"Right..." Katya had fired right back pulling the truth from her in a painful fashion and shedding light on the dark reality. "But he doesn't know that? Does he?"_

When Irina retorted with her soft, _"I have to take the chance_."

They all swallowed hard seeing the firestorm surge into Katya's eyes knowing what was coming with Irina's response and the images of their mother's execution flying wildly through her mind and both Jack and Sydney felt that new wash of guilt, founded or not, in seeing yet again, what an impossible situation Irina had been in and forced to betray both sides of her family in the end.

_"Oh, take the chance… you mean like last time you 'took the chance'? Look at what happened then. Are you willing to take that chance again?"_

The following silence was just as uncomfortable and heart wrenching for the audience as it was for those in the moment onscreen until Irina whispered her apology and then Katya's admission of granting forgiveness long ago.

_"I know you were faced with an impossible choice… it just took me a long time to see it that way."_

Seeing them both breaking down and crying, letting go of something that had long been the barricade separating their hearts sent a river of tears down their faces again, in this moment as they watched it now onscreen and wishing it hadn't taken them twenty-something years to have that conversation.

_"So what are you going to do about Jack? And the organization?"_

Katya onscreen forged on as the two sat down the bench in the garden looking over the palace.

Watching as Irina took a deep nervous breath, re-adjusting the sling around her neck with the slight grimace captivated them all with her impending answer and made Jack's heart speed up when she answered, _"I'm going to need your help."_

When the scene cut, he knew what was coming next seeing her sitting in her seat on the jet wearing that now famous black top and skirt as she stared out the window on her way to him.

* * *

**_*So Cold*_**

_Pasadena, California_

_Irina slid through the French doors in the back of the house fairly easily after picking the lock and when she stepped inside, her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest at being inside this house again for the first time since the day she left._

_Her eyes canvassing the area around her in the dark as they became adjusted to the light and she stepped forward. Her fingers lightly trailed over the wooden top of the dining room table, the same table in the exact, same spot it had been then and she looked up to see what else had remained the same._

_She didn't know why but she had expected everything to be different, the walls, the furniture their placement… everything, knowing how Jack had felt about her and believing he must have wanted to eradicate her essence from every aspect of his life so to find the house this way…was startling and a tiny flicker of hope emerged in her chest that maybe all was not lost when she walked away a second time._

_When her gaze fell upon the family picture her breath was stolen in a gasp as she reached out with trembling fingers about to touch their smiling faces blinking back the tears and curling back her fingers afraid to touch it and shaking her head in wonder that all these years… he'd kept a picture of them, of her… on display… a family picture nonetheless._

_She smiled as her eyes swept over the other pictures, mostly of Sydney and many she'd never seen taken after she'd left. She missed her daughter terribly and her hand went over the bump beneath her shirt, hoping that her girls would get the chance to actually be sisters._

_Knowing that it wouldn't be too much longer before Jack returned from work, she walked to the window facing the street to wait and watch for him._

_She backed up just slightly with a rapid breath when she saw his lights pull into the drive and waited as he seemingly just sat, staring at the house for quite sometime inside the car. Her brows narrowed wondering what he could have been thinking about as his eyes swept over their house in the moonlight and she wondered if he did this every night he came home to this house, their home… and sat questioning their life behind its walls and under its roof._

_When he finally made the move to get out of the car, she stepped back from the window and waited in the dark shadows of the blackened room, eyes on the door waiting breathlessly for another moment that would decide her future, their future…she thought as her hand once again went protectively over her stomach, knowing there was so much more at stake then her own heart._

_She smiled when he came through the door, depositing his briefcase and jacket and almost laughed when he stubbed his toes and cried out cursing in front of her, thinking about the countless times he'd done this same thing before._

_"You never did learn to turn on the lights." She broke the silence deciding to make her presence known and turned on the light, illuminating the room in a soft orange glow and catching the surprised look on Jack's face._

_"Irina… you're alive." He seemed entirely surprised and tensed when she walked to the chair and sat._

Sydney swallowed hard and gripped Vaughn's hand more tightly as they both watched with wide-eyes anxious and yet fearful of the interaction they'd wondered about and heard about knowing it went badly and almost changed the course of their entire family's future.

_Looking up at him and seeing the look in his eyes now, Irina saw the flash in his eyes that night he'd pulled the trigger and felt the anger inside her flush to the surface that he'd actually shot her, thought her capable of hurting their daughter no matter what the circumstance looked like. _

_"Barely, though I know you must be disappointed." The words had left her mouth before she could stop them._

It was clear from the look on Jack's face onscreen he was torn between guilt, anger and relief at finding her in his living room as he waited patiently for her to explain her appearance.

When Irina asked about Sydney and they saw along with Jack her grimace in pain and the reveal to him of her injuries as he took stock, they all grimaced with her and the tears immediately began to build and fall from Sydney's eyes hearing her mother say she doubted she'd ever play the piano again, thankful that had not been the case but still feeling guilty for it and even more so, for having ever doubted her mother didn't love her… especially seeing the damage now onscreen and the after effects of her proving yet again the lengths she was willing to go to protect her.

_"You must be out of your mind to step-foot inside this country again with a 'Shoot To Kill' order on you, no less into the home of a CIA operative while you're obviously still recovering and in no shape to defend yourself."_

Jack's accusation in spite of the vehemence behind it also showed his love and concern for her by asking what he did, pointing out that he was angry that she'd show up in the United States in his home when she was in no position to protect herself… angry that she had been so careless.

_"I didn't come here to fight. We need to talk…"_

They held their bated breath watching the tension in the room rapidly rising and growing out of control and many gasped when Irina tried to begin to explain her actions and Jack shut her down cruelly.

_"Panama? All I saw you do in Panama was use yourself as a whore again to get what you want and then escape into the waiting arms of Arvin Sloane!"_

Sydney was immediately surging with anger hearing her father calling her mother a whore and berating her, internally yelling at him to '_shut up'_ right along with her mother on the screen to just '_shut up and listen to her_' but he kept going in his tirade and her tears raged angrily and horrified down her face watching and seeing her mother's reactions in her eyes that night that her father was missing, so angry in his own pain.

_"I saw your intentions and I decided to manipulate you at your own game… to use you… like you used me all those years."_

With that, and seeing Irina's hand onscreen going over her stomach protecting the result of what he'd just told her was a 'manipulation' of a whore as the images of the beauty of Panama flitted through her mind as well as the images of their baby on the sonogram, and knowing she'd also just felt Lena kicking for the first time, Jack felt as though he was going to be sick and with his last damning statement, "_the 'Royal Russian Whore' strikes again_," and Irina's snap in loss of control as she slapped him hard, he could taste the bile creeping into his throat when her mind in that moment onscreen, flashed through the horrendous images of Cuvee in Kashmir calling her the same and linking them together.

Sydney had to swallow her sob, as did Katya with tears raining down seeing the reaction from Irina and both felt the burning in their hearts now just as surely as she had in that moment.

_"I was wrong to come here. I'm sorry."_ Irina onscreen stepped back and Lena took over narrating her internal thoughts.

_"I realized in that moment… that there would never be an absolution for me. He would never be able to get past my betrayal and forgive me, he'd never be able to see me as anything but a lying 'whore,' and certainly… never be able to love me."_

They saw the rapid transition into regret on Jack's face at saying it once he'd seen her reaction but it was too late, the damage done and once again, their eyes burned with fresh tears watching her shoot him with a tranquilizer dart and then help him with her one and only good arm slide to floor so that he didn't hurt himself falling, caring for him even then, after he'd just torn her to shreds.

Jack was too disgusted with himself in this moment to move, to reach out to Irina and apologize yet again and shook his head with blinding tears blurring his eyes witnessing his own cruelty and ashamed forevermore for that night and what he'd said, what he'd done.

_"So… I take it things didn't go well." Katya asked her once Irina got into the waiting car and they started to pull away._

_"No." Irina looked out the window at the house one last time as they began to drive away, a barrage of images from their life flashing before her eyes._

_"Did you tell him?"_

_"No… He never gave me the chance…" She continued to gaze out the window, desperately trying to hold in her emotions and tears, "He will never give me the chance." Irina resigned softly. "He will never forgive me."_

**_*I Love You*_**

_They drove south, on the freeways into Mexico and towards the waiting jet for quite some time in silence as Irina stare out the window at the black sea, lit with a moonbeam, before she spoke. _

_"Pull off up here, please." She spoke in almost a whisper startling Katya but she did as her sister asked and pulled off the main road onto a dirt one leading them down towards the beach. _

_When the road came to an end not too far past a little cabana bar raging with music and dancers, Irina choked on her tears refusing to look at Katya and opened the door to the car, "I'll be just a minute." _

Katya held back a small sob, reliving this moment now seeing it onscreen, and along with having seen the previous film and the time her sister had spent with Jack there, creating their last child, she had understood its significance then and the ultimate despair before them now.

Watching Irina onscreen walk out onto the sand and stare into the ocean now, as the camera panned around to show her profile in the moonlight and tear tracks running rampant now down her cheeks, Jack felt his heart tearing with a pain he'd caused her and wished he could take back.

The flashbacks and colliding images racing through Irina's mind as she stood there in the dark of night, on their beach with the old beat up cabana behind her was tragic.

_"Mine. All mine… forever and always. I want to look into your eyes when I make love to you." The memory of Jack looking into her eyes while they made love that night causing her heart to strangle painfully in her chest and she slowly dropped to her knees in the sand still warm from the day's rays with her hand over her pregnant belly; the images of the creations of both babies, flashing wildly through her mind and her heart cried with each remembered word, look and touch of love from their time here on this beach to that of Panama and his manipulations in using his 'whore.' _

_"Forever yours… forever and always. I love you, Jack… never forget that."_

_"I love you, Laura...and I'm yours forever and always."_

_"And that was the painful truth,"_ Lena's voice broke through the memory, _"He'd promised 'Laura' forever and always, never 'Irina' and at last I fully realized that my worst fear had come true, Jack hated me, truly hated me… That one part I had always held back, had destroyed everything else… the truth of 'Irina.' ... Our love had drowned with 'Laura' that night I went over the bridge… When we last visited this beach and created a baby, it had been me who had been committing the deception against Jack by withholding the truth of who I really was, and in a raw twist of irony, this child kicking inside me now… " Irina's hand splayed over her stomach onscreen feeling the kicking baby, "Had also been created in a form of deceit… only it wasn't mine this time but Jack's… a manipulation for revenge." _

_Her mind flashed to his outrage and tirade earlier and she sucked in a sharp breath, trying to stop a sob from escaping at the pain in her heart._

_"I saw your intentions and I decided to manipulate you at your own game… to use you… like you used me all those years… Royal Russian Whore…" His damning words were ringing loudly in her ears and burning into her soul and she sobbed silently to herself as the ghost images of them making love in the waves before her tore through her being._

_Katya had been leaning on the hood of the car, curiously watching her sister's form in the distance on the beach staring into the ocean but as soon as Irina dropped into the sand on her knees, Katya's heart lurched with fear that something might be wrong with her heart and as she neared, and saw the tears, heard the silent sobbing, she realized there was something wrong with Irina's heart, it was broken… and not from physical strain but from emotional pain. Her eyes immediately flooded with tears as she sank into the sand beside her sister and pulled her slowly to her, Irina wrapping her one good arm around her neck holding on desperately as she cried hard for the first time in her arms over her loss. _

_"It's ok my, Darling…" Katya whispered into her hair feeling Irina's hot tears against her neck and sure her own were falling into her sister's hair as she held her tightly; her heart breaking with Irina's. _

_"He said Panama was a manipulation," Irina sobbed in a shaking breath, staring over her sister's shoulder at their cabana and buried her face into Katya's hair with the searing pain shooting through her, having not cried this hard with anyone holding her since she'd broken down with Talia years ago. "He was using me, his 'Royal Russian Whore' just as I had used him all those years." Her throat was raw from crying and Katya had to swallow her own horrified sob with anger rising at her sister's betrayal by the only man she'd ever really loved, the one she'd lost and had given everything for, "I never used him, Katya. I loved him. I really, really loved him…" She cried hard with her body shaking out of control, unable to hold back any longer at the soul crushing ache inside her at having her heart ripped out and thrown in her face. "He doesn't believe me… but I did… I did… I loved him, Katya… with everything in me, I loved him."_

When the camera pulled back from their forms holding each other on the moonlit sand of the beach, not a dry eye existed in the theatre, all feeling right along with Irina the devastating heartbreak tearing them apart inside.

**_*De Usuahia a la Quiaca*_**

The scene changed to Irina on the couch of her jet as it continued south to Rio de Janeiro. She was staring out the window again with a haunted gaze while Katya was lightly running her fingers through her sister's hair sitting behind her, silent tears marking her cheeks at seeing Irina so lost.

Jack sucked in shaking breath, finally gathering himself enough to speak and turned rapidly to his wife, trembling as he whispered, "I'm so sorry." He grasped her fingers, kissing them and then holding them to his heart near their sleeping baby, "I love you more than you'll ever know, Irina."

"I know you are." Irina smiled back through her own blinding tears, reliving that moment seeing it onscreen extremely painful in remembering how devastated she was and how terribly wrong things had gone for them; realizing how easily none of this in the here and now might never have happened if fate hadn't changed their destiny from this downward path. "And I know how much you love me… I see it in your eyes," She brushed her fingers over his face staring into his own brown depths, "Hear it in your voice… feel it in your touch and know it my soul." She held back a small sob, smiling as more tears fell, "I love you, Jonathan… I always have and always will… forever and always."

There was nothing he could say to that he hadn't said before, and reached over, cupping her head and brought his lips together with hers to show her instead. His kiss was as urgent as it was tender and he pulled back slightly, holding her breathless as their tears mingled against their cheeks, whispering in the language of her heart, "I love you, Irina… forever and always."

_By the time she and Katya landed the sun was just rising in Rio. Both exhausted from the night before and having not slept, they headed to their respective bedrooms once they reached Irina's new house to rest. _

_Katya tossed and rolled around in her bed, unaccustomed to the hot muggy weather of the jungle and couldn't sleep anyway, with the plaguing images of Irina breaking in her arms the night before on the beach haunting her heart and conscious that she should have been there for her all these years before. She finally got out of bed with a smile after listening to the spider monkey chattering endlessly outside her window for the last half hour, going in search of a banana to feed herself and possibly the little 'chatterbox' outside her window. _

_As she passed Irina's door she noticed that it was opened a crack and hesitated a moment before peaking inside, her worry eating at her and needing confirmation that her sister was all right. _

_Irina was lying in the middle of her gorgeous white bed on top of the bedding and wearing only a spaghetti strapped tank-top and panties, obviously having had experience in trying to sleep in this humid environment before and Katya had to smile at the impossibly adorable image before her. _

_The way Irina's hair was splayed across the pillows, her arm curling up around her head with her face turned into her elbow, hiding away from the sunlight streaming in the balcony doors opposite her and how her one leg was absolutely straight and the other bent at the knee with foot pressing against the other's knee like that of a flamingo on one foot; her injured hand with pins coursing through her flesh rested gently and protectively over her naked exposed baby belly and fresh rigid scar that still held blue and black sutures where her skin needed more time with the severity of the injury._

_"Once a dancer, always a dancer." Katya whispered to herself with a smile at the way Irina slept, still slept, as she had when she was a child, and as she looked at her sister so peaceful and serene in her sleep wondered how it was that the world had deemed her such a dangerous monster. She knew what her sister had done, was capable of doing but she also knew that inside that supposedly Teflon exterior beat the extremely fragile heart of one of the most loving and self-sacrificing human beings she'd ever met. _

_Her thoughts were interrupted when Irina suddenly screamed out "No!" in Russian first and followed rapidly by the same crippling scream in English and then bolted upright in bed, gasping for breath and holding her hand to her chest, grimacing through hot tears at the pain such a movement had ripped through her. _

_"Rina!" Katya bolted through the door in seconds, rapidly flying to her sister's side on the bed with concern. _

_"I'm okay." Irina tried to brush it off, still panting for breath and blinking back tears, wiping the fallen ones away while turning from Katya in shame. _

_"You're not okay." Katya ran her hand down the length of Irina's hair speaking softly, "Every time I've seen you actually sleeping, you wake screaming from nightmares."_

_"I'm fine… it's nothing I can't handle." Irina pulled out of her sister's grasp and rolled from the bed with another raging grimace as a tidal wave of pain shot through her and she had to hang onto the bedpost to support herself. "Damn it…" She cursed softly under her breath at seeing the blood seeping through her tank-top and soaking the bandage on her chest. _

_"Sit." Katya stood and pointed at the bed sternly with an ordering tone shaking her head at her stubborn sister._

_"It's these damn staples." Irina obliged sitting carefully on the edge of the bed and pulled her shirt off with some degree of difficulty as Katya retrieved new bandages from the bathroom, only making the bleeding worse. She pulled the bandage free as Katya knelt before her and Irina ran her fingertips over the metal bridges._

_"If you'd stop tearing open your incision, they'd be taken out already." Katya's eyebrows rose as she spoke in a badgering mother tone while placing gauze pads over the new large tear and waiting until Irina's fingers held them there, before dropping her own hand to prepare the new bandages. _

_"Its not like I'm doing it on purpose." Irina answered with a sad tone, her mind flashing with images from the last dream and closing her eyes as new tears formed._

_Katya sighed, placing her fingers under Irina's chin and forcing her head up to look at her, "I know." She replied softly when Irina's eyes opened. Her fingers brushing the falling tears. "What are they about? Kashmir?" Katya hedged carefully, asking in almost a whisper and avoiding eye contact as she set to work replacing the bandages. _

_Irina swallowed hard, not wanting to have this discussion and certainly not reveal anything about what she'd been reliving. This last dream had been Cuvee screaming 'Royal Russian Whore' at her in prison while he raped her and then he'd turned into Jack screaming the same, violating her in the same way… using her. She shook her head swallowing a sob as she tried to clear that image and turned her face away. _

Jack was horrified watching in the audience as those flashes from her dream revealed her nightmare and new tears melted his eyes at seeing the connection she'd made and it sickened him; sickened him that he'd done something so badly to hurt her that unconsciously her mind had made that leap bridging the gap between himself and Cuvee.

Two men who had called her a 'whore' and then 'used' her in their revenge. Of course he'd never used her, he loved her… but he'd told her he had and that was all that mattered then, in this moment and why she was having nightmares about the inter-mixing of the two.

_"Rina…" Katya began again, waiting for her sister to answer and finally speaking when minutes had passed in silence without an answer. "Are they about Kashmir?" Her own voice cracked fearing she was right._

_Irina only nodded, staring out at the sea through her open balcony doors and blinking as new tears roll down her cheeks. _

_Katya's own eyes burned with new tears as she looked up, seeing the stricken look on her sisters' face. "How often?" She asked through her dry throat, trying not to cry at how incredibly horrendous the place had to have been that her sister was still having nightmares about it twenty years later. _

_"Often." Irina answered in a whisper revealing as little as possible. _

_"How often?" Katya forged on, trying to break through some walls but doing so cautiously as she realized why her sister was so cryptic. For the last twenty years, she had no one else, relied solely on herself and kept all of this, her life in America, her time in prison… bottled and buried inside her._

_"Often." Irina repeated as she continued to stare out the window but not really seeing what was there. _

_"Is that why you're always meditating?" Katya kept going, re-directing her line of questioning knowing she needed to be patient. She looked up to see Irina nodding, yes, to answer her sister's question, still in a daze. "All done." Katya gave Irina a small smile when her sister looked down at her finally. She stood, holding her hand out to Irina to help her up and then walked to her sister's wardrobe to retrieve a new shirt. _

_"I can do it by myself you know?" Irina smiled as Katya helped her dress and had flashes of helping Sydney and her daughter replying with the same answer when she was a stubborn two year old and going through her 'by myself' stage. She laughed softly at the image and Katya smiled hearing her laugh with a curious eyebrow Irina recognized as 'question.' "I was just thinking about Sydney… she used to say that to me, 'I can do it myself, Mommy'… whenever I'd try to help her get dressed. She was so stubborn." Her smile turned sad when she sighed and Katya noticed it right away, almost gasping to hear Irina say 'Mommy' in relation to herself and Katya fought back the tears at realizing all over again in hearing Irina relay this, that her_ _sister was a mother… and what she'd lost. She also knew these little details and insights were highly guarded secrets of Irina's heart._

_"Just like you." Katya challenged with a smile and a quirked eyebrow pulling her t-shirt all the way down until it kissed Irina's thighs half way to her knees. "The 'by myself' stage…about two and a half years old… I remember it well," Katya laughed, linking her arm carefully around her sister's middle and walking with her out into the hallway towards the kitchen. "Sophia was always more of a 'by myself' toddler then Sergei… she still is. Something she shares with her aunt." She smiled. "And her cousin." She added softly, kissing Irina's forehead and leaving her side to get her juice. _

_They ate breakfast together before Katya left to take a shower, disgruntled about the fact she was already sweating this early in the day and Irina laughing, promising to close the windows and turn on the air instead knowing her sister wasn't used to this kind of climate. And just as promised, when Katya stepped out of the shower, she was met with a nice blast of cold air coming from the air vents making her smile. _

_When she finished dressing, she went in search of her sister and her smile immediately faded and was replaced with tears when she found Irina, in her bedroom sitting on the floor in the doorway to the balcony with her long legs folded beneath her, meditating. Katya knew she had to have been exhausted, and should be sleeping but the demons of her sister's past refused to let her._

_Katya decided to try to get some rest as well as she was exhausted and decided on taking up her sister's idea of sleeping in as little 'cotton' as she could for comfort in this climate and managed to fall asleep rather quickly now, with the air conditioning blasting on her. _

**_*Mas Que Nada*_**

_When Katya awoke it was well into the afternoon and Irina was moving about the house with the ethnic beats of her new world sounding softly from the stereo as she settled into her new home for the duration. _

_Katya was relieved to see the beautiful smile on her sister's face when she found her outside in the hammock chair swing having just settled down to get off her feet for awhile as Alexei 'ordered' after being up and about so much last night and this morning; Irina's mood apparently bouncing back from the hell she'd been through in the last twenty-four hours. _

_"How are you feeling?" Katya smiled walking up to the railing and sipping on her water in the hot sun. "Is your chest still sore from earlier?" Her concern was still there, eyeing the faintest hints of blood seeping through Irina's bandage even if that was expected to some degree after such a tear. _

_"I'm okay." Irina's eyes darted up with a soft smile from where her hands were resting over and around her belly, one leg tucked under the other and pushing off the ground with her toes to swing slightly, "As far as my chest goes," her tone softened with a hint of sadness, "The ache is constant." Her good hand reached up to trace lightly over the bandages and Katya nodded softly._

_"I'd give you something to numb the pain if I could." Katya looked her in the eye feeling her chest tighten feeling her sister's pain._

_Both of their minds thinking about the duality of their statements they swallowed hard with a moment of silence following._

_"Are you sure you're going to be ok down here by yourself?" Katya leaned against the railing, taking in the beautiful view._

Jack was still fighting the constant tears stinging his already burning eyes hearing the double innuendos and seeing how lost Irina seemed in spite of the smile.

The exchange between the sisters that followed was heartbreaking once again and brief laughter followed Irina's asking Katya to help her with Jack and Sydney and Katya's joking reply given in a dead serious tone and fire in her eyes obviously upset and protective of Irina when she answered with, _"You want me to shoot him for you."_

Jack shook his head that yet again, Irina defended him taking the blame on herself and saying she'd hurt him enough for one lifetime and saw just how much he'd degraded her self-worth 'in that one conversation… no not conversation,' he corrected himself, 'but verbal assault.' It was his turn to run circles over the back of Irina's hand nervously watching the conversation onscreen and seeing the moments that he'd missed, like Lena's frenzied kicking.

_"She?" Katya asked surprised._

_"Alexei told me just before we left… I had a feeling she was a girl, everything has been the exact same as it was with Sydney… including the kickboxing moves. When I was pregnant with her, she used to keep me awake at night with her kicking… drove me nuts. If I only knew then those powerful legs would turn into deadly weapons." _

Her mother's comparison had put a smile on Sydney's face until the last line, when Irina's tone deflated with sadness shaking her head at the situation the two were in then. Her hand went over her own baby girl kicking and moving inside her and thought about what that must have felt like to her mother, thinking about her own baby, this life growing inside her, someday turning against her and hunting her down… It was unbearable to think about and her hand immediately started running small circles and she blinked back new tears.

The scene picked up with Jack waking up on the floor of the living room and everyone went from tears listening to 'Why' over the scene of him regretting what he'd said and not listening to Irina and then laughter lightening the solemn mood, when the song on every station in his car was 'Shut Up!' and he began screaming it had to be a conspiracy.

Irina couldn't help but feel the sting seeing Sydney's mixed reaction to learning about her mother still being alive and fearing for her father's safety listing off all the ways Irina had physically hurt her and telling Jack he'd been 'lucky' it was only a tranquilizer dart she'd hit him with.

Irina began shifting uncomfortably again in her seat seeing them going over her file once more and Mikhail's breath caught hearing his son reading his name aloud for the first time not knowing who he was at the time when they were looking at the photographs.

_"Maybe he was her first assignment or a practice run of sorts." The sarcasm dripping with Jack's every word, "You know, before she took the big plunge moving to America to dupe me." _

_"Dad…" Sydney said calmly, Jack suddenly rising from his seat, trying to control his anger. _

_"I need a cup of coffee." He stormed out the door. _

_"This has to be so insane for him." Vaughn sighed, looking at the document with the photograph. "Finding out the woman you loved, made a life with…was someone else entirely."_

Seeing Jack's reaction added more silent tears to the streams running down Irina's cheek and she began chewing nervously on her lip when they were reading through her imprisonment record knowing that it was sometime soon after this they discovered the horrid truth and her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest.

The same was happening to Jack when the scene changed back again to Katya with Irina in Brazil and she was revealing to her sister exactly what she needed help with in regards to he and Sydney. That she was going to 'give him his freedom' with an annulment along with the only kind of compensation for the 'misery' she caused him and setting Sydney up to be taken care of financially for the rest of her life with the Trust Fund she'd started for her years before. Just hearing her talk about making arrangements with her lawyer to get the paperwork in order had Jack feeling sick with the thought of again how close he came to losing Irina for good.

Marshall's reveal that he'd cracked the code had them all swallowing hard with the lumps in their dry throats and slinking slightly down into their seats as the team onscreen started to roll the footage of Irina's time in Kashmir.

**_*Adagio for Strings, Op. 11 *_**

Irina couldn't have been more relieved and thankful with her child's sense of timing when Lena awoke and started stirring upset and whimpering giving Irina a reason to excuse herself from having to watch this again, having relieved enough and being so pregnant, seeing herself onscreen before the cross just now, knowing they were about to kick her into losing her child…she couldn't do it and not break down sobbing thinking about losing their son.

"I'll take her." She whispered quickly through already raining tears, keeping her eyes off the screen and reaching for Lena who was reaching back, "I need to use the restroom anyway," She gave Jack a tiny smile and knew, he knew, the real reasoning behind her sudden departure and quickly brushed his face with her fingers and a kiss before stepping out into the aisle heading towards the doors.

Jack wanted to go with her but the look in her eyes told him to '_stay_,' and so he did. Sitting there and feeling suddenly very alone without his child on his chest and Irina missing from his side; Jack thought it was almost eerily symbolic with what he was watching before him again onscreen, seeing his child being beaten from her body after Irina was taken away from him.

Sydney also watched with a panicked, pained look when her mother rapidly stood and departed and was about to go after her when Jack reached over the empty seat and clutched her hand, shaking his head slightly 'no' and telling her to give her mother some space, just as he had that first night in Alexander when revealing to Irina how they found out this bit of her truth and past.

He was thankful when Sydney wrapped her fingers around his, refusing to let them go as they watched themselves learning for the first time, that horrible truth and realizing just how much Irina loved them. They were still feeling guilty they could have ever doubted it to begin with even though they had every right given the circumstance but with everything they knew now, it as harder to look back at it then and have the same feelings about the situation. Time changed the perspective.

Watching Cuvee and then the guards kicking her in the stomach was as hard to watch now as it had been the first time in reality and then again in the first film.

Irina had changed Lena and heard the loud voices of Cuvee from the surround sound booming through the doors as he yelled at her to answer him. His voice and the music providing the soundtrack to the real images racing through her mind remembering as she closed her eyes, holding Lena close and pressing her tear stained face into her baby's soft head.

Lena seemed to sense the distress and snuggled into Irina, palming her neck and sliding her little head under her mother's chin as she always did when seeking comfort. The move now providing the same sense of comfort to Irina as they stood outside the doors.

She didn't care that the security people or even the patrons who worked there were all eyeing her with sad eyes knowing exactly what was being shown right now inside, hearing the same soundtrack she was… all she cared about was concentrating on Lena in her arms as she swayed slowly back and forth, humming to her miracle baby and the two still safe inside her now.

_"We are all so quick to point out the horrible things 'this monster' has done to other people, myself included, but what about the things that have been done to her? We shouldn't see them because it would what, humanize her? If we hadn't just watched that… none of us would know that she betrayed the KGB in order to save my father's life. I think we, or at least I… owe it to her to find out what she went through. I need to understand… I'm staying."_

Hearing Sydney's defense and reason for staying, Irina swallowed the sob that threatened to escape and knew she needed to see this, needed to see their reactions and see it from their point of view and took a deep breath stepping back inside just in time to see her onscreen self being dragged before Cuvee once again on her birthday. She stood in the back of the darkened theatre, watching with silent but rampant tears seeing their reactions and hearing what they were seeing on the screen before them in the film.

The scene had been shot mostly showing their reactions to what they were seeing from the disks with the audience knowing exactly what that was by hearing the heartbreaking audio of Irina's pleading with them screaming and the prisoners cheering, her blood curdling scream to Jack for help and the offenders grunting as they violated her again and again.

When that portion of horror was over, Mikhail once again felt the sickening punch to his gut seeing Irina's condition after their escape attempt… her broken mangled unconscious form being dragged so barbarically into her solitary cell where she would spend the better part of the next year.

Kendall's reaction to the images of her after her release had been that of most in the audience. "_God, she looks like a Holocaust victim._"

With Kendall's reaction on the screen, Irina's eyes slammed shut, blinking back the tears and trying to stop the sob threatening to escape hearing his reaction… to have verbal confirmation of her condition and have it summed up in such a horrid reality. She'd tried desperately and succeeded for years not to think about the physical aspect of the damage done to her then even though it lurked in the back of her mind, she never wanted to acknowledge it, acknowledge just how 'weak' and 'broken' she'd been... to hear herself compared to a Holocaust victim was damaging even if it was the truth.

_"How can she just sit there like that, across the table from that man? After everything he did to her, she berates you! Says you're the fool! She's the fool for sitting there and not reaching over the table and strangling him! How could she?"_

Hearing and seeing Sydney's reaction of confusion, anger and shock was as equally heartbreaking and many soft sobs were heard in reaction when Jack pointed out the truth.

_"Sydney, they broke her… A human being can only take so much. She must have realized, that she had to comply or die in that Godforsaken place… She chose to comply and survive." _

Irina couldn't stop it, the small sob that escaped with everyone else's and her heart burned in her chest seeing their reactions.

_"Oh my God!"_ Sydney onscreen shrieked in horror and then rapidly fled the room after witnessing her grandmother's execution.

Irina's eyes immediately sought out Sydney a few feet from her and locked eyes with her daughter when she instinctively turned around and found her mother watching from the back of the theater.

The look on Sydney's face now, contorted in a scrunched up sob trying not to cry out matching the onscreen as she threw up violently in the toilet of the CIA bathroom.

Julian was wiping at his own tears seeing now, the reaction that he'd been told about in regards to Sydney, after having a similar one finding out the same horrendous information and truth about his mother.

Seeing that learning this truth had physically made Sydney sick, made Irina nauseous as she watched from the shadows having feared this kind of reaction from anyone if they'd ever learned the truth… been so disgusted as to make them violently ill. She knew now, of course, it wasn't disgust for her but for what was done to her but the difference in pain it still caused her was only slightly less.

_"If this is what she meant by 'Truth Takes Time' then, Vaughn, I don't know how much more truth I can stand… but I have to, I have to know it all, now more then ever. I have so many questions for her, so many things that still don't make sense... so many things I want to understand." _

They watched as Sydney recalled the memory of the last days with her mother and then hearing her realization in the end as she confronted Jack and Vaughn. Irina felt a sense of 'something' not quite like pride but more relief to hear Sydney defending her, understanding her for the first time then but it was also breaking her heart to watch that painful process.

_"I've been so ignorant, if she's a monster then so am I… I have to go."_


	31. Chapter 31

**_AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): ___********__****__****_When Somebody Loved Me _****************by Sarah McLachlan**___********__****__****__, _Cosmic Love **by Florence & The Machine**___**, What A Wonderful World **_**by Louis Armstrong**_**, Warning Sign **_**by Coldplay, Dirty Little Secret (remix) by The Thievery Corporation feat. Sarah McLachlan, Wicked Game by Chris Isaacs, Magalenha ****by Sergio Mendes**_**, ******__Iguazu _******by Gustavo Santaolalla,**_********__ Walkaway _******by Thomas Newman from Meet Joe Black Soundtrack**_********__, Goodbyes _******by Celine Dion**_********__, Fix You _******by Coldplay**_********__, Far Away _******by Nickelback**_********__, Open Arms _******by Mariah Carey.**

* * *

THIRTY-ONE

o

**_*When Somebody Loved Me*_**

_Sydney had left her father and Vaughn at the CIA and on autopilot headed straight towards Union Station. Her tears were blinding after remembering the last days with her mother, remembering all that she had forgotten, the most important thing… her mother had always and promised would always, love her. An important memory, an important message… forgotten because of Project Christmas._

_She made her way inside and found herself sitting in the same seat she had occupied just after her mother had turned herself into the CIA and she saw her for the first time._

_"Trust me."_

_"Why should I do that?"_

_"Because I'm your mother."_

_She held back a small sob with the flashing image as another passenger waiting for their train took the seat two away from hers._

_It was a fact she had tried so desperately to ignore, that she was her mother. Sydney had wanted so badly to keep the images of her separate, to be able to still love the mother she'd known, the loving mother of Laura and hate Irina as she was the one she didn't understand._

_Irina had left her, abandoned her and never loved her or so Sydney had thought, tried to convince herself was the truth but now she knew. She'd witnessed the painful truth today, that her mother was Irina, had always been Irina and that she didn't want to leave them, didn't abandon her but was forced to leave after they murdered her own mother for trying to stay. Her mother… Irina… hadn't a choice. She had to go, or they would all have been killed._

_Sydney inhaled a shaking breath pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them, needing to wrap her arms around herself as much as possible feeling so alone._

_This time as the images from her childhood with her mother collided with those of the woman she'd come to know slightly over this past year, she was no longer trying to spot the differences but the similarities._

_The way she'd smile at her, push her hair behind her ear… the way she tilted her chin up on their way to Kashmir after Sydney had been hurt… Kashmir. Sydney did sob out loud, covering her mouth with her hand fisted around her shirt-sleeve and looking towards the window as the images from the film of her mother's torture ran rampant through her mind. _

_"If you meant what you said about trying to protect me, then Mom, I need your help." The tears were furiously burning her eyes remember that moment and blackmailing… manipulating her mother into going back into that hell and her mother had gone, because she was just that… her mother. She was protecting her… just as she had when she shot her in Taipei giving her time to escape…and just as she had in Moscow, pushing her out of harm's way and getting stabbed through the hand herself. Her mother had even called the CIA, putting herself at risk all to ensure her daughter was rescued._

_"There is something you need to know… Sydney, I love you." Her goodbye in the cell and the way she put her hand to the glass collided with the memory she'd recovered today of her mother's goodbye then, placing her hand against Sydney's own tiny one._

_"I love you so much I never want to say goodbye… I love you Sydney, forever and always… I'm going to miss you so much it hurts… I will love you, to the moon and back…"_

_"More than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth, forever and always. " Sydney whispered the ending as the memory replayed again through her mind._

_She was so angry with her father for erasing that memory with Project Christmas, angry that she hadn't remembered sooner… not that she would have believed her mother as Irina even then…but in seeing what she'd sacrificed today, because she loved her and her father… there was no doubt in her mind that her mother loved her, something her heart had repeatedly tried to remind her and she had dismissed, had separated that love and accepted it from Laura but not Irina and she wanted to shake herself at how ridiculous that was… they were always the same person, it was always the same love._

_With the images racing through her mind from the tapes she knew there was no way she would be sleeping tonight. Her own heart bled with pain and loss as one violent image after another assaulted her and the sounds… the sound of her mother screaming 'No' and trying to protect the baby… the sound of the prisoners cheering and singing, the loud pop as she dislocated her own shoulder trying to escape knowing what they were about to do to her and her mother's soul-tearing cry for her father when they strapped her down and gang raped her…_

_Sydney was trembling where she sat, moving her hand up to cover her eyes as she closed them trying to shut the images and sounds out and failed again and again with Cuvee's voice ringing in her ears that this was all happening to her mother because of her love for Sydney… and her father._

_Her mind flashed back to the look on her father's face watching the film… he'd never looked so small, so sad or broken at finding out this information for the first time too. She knew she shouldn't have yelled at him like she had, blamed him as he was just as much in the dark about the 'truth' as she was, that she was just as much to blame for trying to picture the world in either black or white, making it sound so simple… 'she could have told them the truth, she could have stayed if she wanted to, she would have if she loved them'… when it was not simple at all._

_She wondered if her father had known before today that her mother was pregnant when she left…or if he learned today just as she, that he had another child, one that was so violently and tragically lost in spite of her mother's attempts to protect it._

_All this time, she knew that her father believed that her mother never loved him, only used him for information as she said in her debriefing video but today, he had learned the truth…her mother did love him, desperately so and was put in prison for 'falling in love with the enemy.'_

_Sydney could only imagine what finding out the truth must be doing to him, as she felt like she'd been gutted several times over. In spite of whatever he'd done to her with Project Christmas, setting her mother up to be framed and everything else he'd told her to try to manipulate her… she knew that her father had at one time, loved her mother just as desperately… and seeing what they had today, learning the real truth, had to be tearing him apart because he had loved her mother once…_

_Without thinking further, she stood and headed towards her car, unsure of how much time had passed or if her father would even still be awake but she was going to go to him._

The scene cut from Sydney driving away to that of Irina in Brazil showing what she had been doing on this same day and Irina returned to her seat with Lena now sleeping on her chest, her tiny legs really stretching now to fit over the sides of Irina's belly as she sat and Irina smiled through her tears at Jack when he helped her to sit. She saw the look of concern in his eyes and leaned over, kissing him with one hand palmed on his cheek to let him know that she was okay.

"Do you want me to take her?" Jack whispered, running his hand softly down Lena's back as Irina shifted her little body so she was laying over her chest and belly more comfortably for all four of them.

Her arms seemed to wrap more tightly around Lena not wanting to let her little 'light' in all this darkness go just yet and shook her head 'no' with a small smile.

He knew by the look in her eyes why not, she needed to feel that connection with Lena right now as it was their beautiful baby girl who had been the one to get her through this horrible time in her life, her 'light' at the end of this very dark tunnel she was in. She brushed her lips with his once more and then Lena's head before turning her attention back to the screen.

**_*Cosmic Love*_**

The scene began with Irina signing the annulment papers while Katya watched over her shoulder with a sad look in her face and unshed tears seeing her sister trying hard to blink back tears.

_Irina rapidly signed her name, unable to let this moment linger and quickly wiped at the one fallen tear before pushing the papers away and standing rapidly._

_"I'm going for a walk on the beach." She refused to face her sister and let her see this pain in her eyes._

_"But it's already dark." Katya stepped forward, already concerned and not liking the idea of Irina out walking alone at night. Her mind rapidly flashing to the night on the beach in Mexico and Irina breaking in her arms after confronting Jack. She knew this was as equally damaging to her sister's heart_

_"I won't be gone long." Irina turned quickly, giving her a forced smile and was out the door._

Watching her walk along the beach in the moonlight while the images of her life with Jack flashed before her and everyone else's eyes had most in tears again to see her letting go. Jack's eyes were burning once again as her mind flitted through the moments of their life from the first day they met, through his asking her to marry him on the beach and all the other moments that were 'theirs.'

The montage of her life with him ended with the look on his face as he called her a 'whore' and Irina sat in the sand, pulling her legs up and locking her one good arm around them cocooning their baby as if she were trying to protect it and it tore Jack apart to see her silently breaking down.

_She'd severed all ties to him, well not all… Irina thought as she felt the baby moving around in side her and she cried, burying her head in her arms and knees pulled up; shaking from the chill coming off the ocean and the feeling of loss tearing at her heart and soul._

_The physical pain that such a position shot through her still healing chest was less then that of the emotional. She didn't know how she was going to do this alone… how she was going to be able to let them both go again._

_Katya had been watching her solitary figure roaming the length of the beach from the balcony on the veranda and gasped with her own arms circling her chest to see Irina sit and virtually curl into a ball so deeply in pain. She couldn't let her go through this alone, she'd done that enough of the last two decades and turned rapidly on her heel with determination, grabbing the light blanket from the back of the sofa on her way out._

_She silently walked up to Irina who was staring out at the endless sea before them with rivers of silent tears streaking her face glinting in the moonlight._

_When Irina turned her head to look at Katya approaching, her face contorted holding back from sobbing and then quickly looked away._

_Katya was at her side instantly, rushing to her and then slowly sitting beside her with gentleness and grace, wrapping the blanket around Irina's shoulders and pulling her into her side, kissing the top of her head._

They stared in silence at the sea, as there were no words, the pain and devastation from this loss was evident and the audience cried along in their silence.

_Katya was finishing cleaning the plates from dinner, shaking her head as she scraped Irina's into the sink and turned on the garbage disposal… her sister hadn't eaten anything, just picked at her food and moved it around on her plate._

_Irina had disappeared after dinner into her room some time ago and Katya's nervousness about how this was all going to affect her sister's health started eating at her immensely, worried Irina and the baby with the fallout of 'letting them go.' She looked down at the papers on the counter as she dry her hands with the towel, her fingers' reaching out to touch them gently and then gathered them into a pile, putting them in her case and out of her sister's sight. Irina didn't need to see the constant reminders of the 'end' when she was already feeling them greatly._

**_*What a Wonderful World *_**

_Quietly she walked up the stairs towards her bedroom and paused by Irina's door hearing the music wafting from behind the cracked door. She hesitated again only momentarily before pushing the door open further and looking in on Irina._

_Irina was sleeping on the bed and Katya's breath caught at the images of the film on the flat screen on the wall in front of the bed. Silently she made her way inside the room to get a better look, her eyes glued to the screen and every so often flitting back to her sister's sleeping form, noticing the tear stained cheeks as she approached and her heart broke as she sat gingerly on the end of the bed. She was really 'seeing' her sister's family for the first time._

_When Irina had sent film and videos home before, she hadn't really absorbed or understood exactly what it was, what it meant… her parents had and watching it now, she could see why they had been worried for their eldest daughter._

_Some of the clips she'd seen before but watched them with new eyes, the others she hadn't seen at all and her tears raged with tears even as she smiled along with the happy smiles and laughter onscreen before her._

_Watching Jack now, with Sydney and the way he held and kissed her sister, just looked at her, she could see the man Irina had fallen in love with, was devastated to let go of. Seeing Irina with Sydney, watching her as a mother and the love between the mother and child tore Katya apart that Irina had been torn away from this child, and was again, having to let her go._

_She couldn't imagine doing such a thing with her own children, it would be so utterly devastating she was sure she would die from heartbreak. Her eyes flashed back to look at Irina and realized that was exactly how her sister felt then, and now._

_She had thought she'd understood her sister's grief over the loss of her daughter before, having thought only about that loss over the last twenty years and nothing of that of Jack…what it had been like for her sister to lose him as well but seeing this now, she finally understood… saw that great love that had cost her sister everything and felt it's loss with her sister for the first time really… wishing things had been different._

_"Oh why couldn't you have just listened?" Katya pleaded in a whisper staring at Jack's smiling face as he pulled Irina into his side with Sydney on his shoulders and the three of them walked down the beach together, ending the film._

_She picked up the remote and clicked off the television, setting it down gently beside Irina and staring at her with a pained grimace, shaking her head and covering her mouth with her fingers to keep from crying out. She knew she had to leave or risk waking her sister and stood, walking towards the door and looking back once before closing it quietly behind her._

**_*Warning Sign*_**

Jack was thinking the same thing watching the scene with the same tears of agony, asking himself why he couldn't have just listened to Irina that night? If he had, none of them would have gone through any of this. But perhaps, they had to go through this, to gain understanding, to realize exactly what was at stake.

The scene then changed back to Sydney pulling into his driveway and the talk they had.

_"But Dad, they are the same person… I never wanted to see it either, saw 'them' as completely separate people… even told Mom so… that Irina wasn't my mother, that Laura was. But now I realize… my mother was always Irina. That Laura is, was Irina… We were just never able to see all of her, like reading one chapter of a book and believing it's the whole story."_

Irina hiccupped in a shaking breath holding back another sob and reached over to take Sydney's hand, squeezing it as she watched her daughter onscreen come to understand and laughing along with everyone else that Jack had analyzed her brushing her teeth, even if the reason behind it was terribly sad, that he'd doubted and second-guessed everything that much. Her smile mixed with her tears throughout their conversation.

_"I know, but, Sydney, if your mother doesn't want to be found… it's unlikely we will find her and if by chance we do, she is bound to escape again. Egos aside, I think we both know she's the best spy in this family. What?"_

The audience laughed with Jack's admittance and Irina turned her smile to her husband with nothing but love behind her eyes, hearing him say that.

_"You just called us a family."_

The rest of the conversation brought out new tears as Jack told Sydney that if they found Irina, she would still be a fugitive and most likely executed and Sydney's reaction, almost admitting to Jack that she wanted to see Irina to tell her, she loved her, to tell her she knew that Irina had loved them and didn't want to leave all the more heartbreaking after watching Irina's devastation over losing them again and falling asleep watching that love and life on film they just now saw, remembered and accepted as the truth… too late though.

Katya waiting for them when they got home was the next thing up and Irina was watching intently to see how exactly they reacted having already heard from Katya. The somber moment was broken with a laugh at Sydney's funny expression and voice of disbelief when she learned her parents were still married.

_"You're still married to Mom?"_

And then came the rapidly rising escalation between Jack and Katya over Jack's adamancy about seeing Irina and Katya trying to tell him that wasn't possible now.

_"I don't want Irina's money, I don't want any 'compensation!" _Jack onscreen threw the annulment papers and money transfers clearly upset, _"I want to talk to her! Tell her, I want to talk to her!"_ The man onscreen was clearly desperate realizing it was too late… he was losing her and was unwilling to accept it. _"Just tell her that I want to talk to her."_

_"But she doesn't want to talk to you or see you ever again!" _Katya onscreen had risen furiously out of the chair, causing alarm to Jack, Sydney and Vaughn onscreen as well as those holding their' breath in the audience, as they didn't know what to expect with her outrage. _"It's all about you, you, you, you! You don't have any idea what she went through for you… what 'she' sacrificed, or anyone else, do you? I'm so sick of it being all about you! Jack, you weren't the only one who had your life destroyed by Irina's mission."_

Irina's tears were endless watching the exchange and seeing her sister's pain shining so brilliant before her over what happened, what she'd lost because of her mission and it was in defense of Irina… her sister and her pain.

_"Even after I heard of Irina's release, I was too ashamed, too proud to find her and tell her I didn't blame her; that I forgave her."_

Irina held back a sob watching this scene, knowing how Katya had felt now but hearing it like this, seeing the emotion so raw. She nuzzled her face into Lena's hair, already wet from her copious tears raining down on her baby that only continued watching Sydney's heartbreaking reaction to this news of realizing she was never going to see her mother again.

And then, Jack's realization that he wasn't _losing_ Irina, but that he'd already lost her.

_"This is Irina's 'goodbye' isn't it? We're never going to see or speak to her again, are we?"_

* * *

**_*Dirty Little Secret (Thievery Corp Mix)*_**

In the following scenes they picked up with Irina in Brazil and Katya's return to her side once more and it was Jack's turn to wait in baited breath to see for the first time, Irina's reaction to finding out that they knew the truth about her.

_"Well, Jack might as well be dead as far as I'm concerned. He's no longer a part of my life." Irina's fingers grazed the scar the bullet left, stretching across her expanding belly while her mind flashed to his face and the gun that he'd shot her with once more._

"Ouch…" Weiss whispered, feeling the sting for both of them with that statement and movement.

_"Speaking of your 'not so dead' husband and daughter," _Katya began slowly onscreen, clearly apprehensive about what she was going to say, knowing this wasn't going to go well, "_They didn't take it so well."_

_"They were upset. I expected that… at least from Sydney anyway."_ The defeat in Irina's voice and posture as she stood and walked to the railing were hard to miss. _"She's hurt, I understand. But as Jack pointed out to me once, she spent the better part of her life without me, believing I was dead. She will get used to the idea of life without me again."_ _Her tone had faded sadly at the end as she stared out into the beautiful blue and jade sea before her._

Sydney's tears turned rampant again, hearing her mother truly believed she could ever get over losing her again and angry that her father had ever suggested she could.

_"Oh God, no!"_ Irina had cried, whirling around as the onslaught of images from her hell had flashed before her eyes and the audience, and Katya prodded Irina as to why it was impossible for them now, that they knew the truth, what Irina had wanted them to know.

_"Yes, but no! I wanted them to know the truth but I never intended them to find out or see what happened in Kashmir… Jack must be furious at me… finding out about the baby I lost that way. God, he must hate me more than ever now… seeing I'm nothing but a weak dirty whore… I could never face them again."_

Jack felt like he was being drawn and quartered as he shifted in his seat hearing and seeing her reaction, hearing her say she believed him when he said she was a whore, actually believed she was one and that he could hate her for losing their baby the way she had.

_"It's true, Katya, I was weak. I lost our baby, I let them ravage me. I gave up and let them win. In the end I gave myself to Cuvee again and again, just so I could get out of there! I am what they say...a whore…"_

The audience gasped softly holding back their own silent sobs seeing Irina like this, hearing her own perception of the horrid events that happened to her and her belief in accepting what Jack and Cuvee had said, that she was nothing but a whore.

The scene changed to later in the day with Irina walking down the beach once again and past a father playing with his little girl in the waves, running away from them and playing tag, both laughing and her mind flashed back to Jack and Sydney doing the same. Her tears immediately began to pool in her eyes again thinking about them and the fact they knew her dirty little secrets now.

_"I was embarrassed and disgusted in myself for what happened. I had wanted to tell them the truth, but never like this… never this much. Now they certainly saw me as nothing but weak… a terrible mother and whore…" _Lena's voice narrated Irina's thoughts as she stroll along in the sand and water rolling over her feet with every wave._ "It didn't matter what my sister had said, tried to make me believe and see… she couldn't change the way I felt now. I'd never felt like a whore before, after I was released from Kashmir, not really, not until Jack. Hearing someone calling you a whore who is your enemy means little, but to hear the man you love, the one who holds your heart, the other half of your soul call you a whore and say he used you as such, makes you believe its true. He told me he used me like I'd used him… Jack really believed that I had used myself as a whore the entire eleven years we were together and then again in Panama… a whore, that's how he saw me… and I began to look at me through his eyes, and could see what he saw, I was a whore."_

Jack could taste the vomit in his throat; feel the burn in his chest. He had managed to convince her what being gang raped repeatedly and hell on Earth could not, that she was, a whore, to be used and nothing more.

"I never thought you were a whore… never." Jack turned to Irina beside him with blinding tears, whispering so that only she could hear and pleading with everything in him that she could see it in his eyes, that it was the truth. "I just said that because I was upset. I was trying to make myself believe that you were, only because I thought it'd make the pain less. I wanted to hurt you in that moment… the same in Jakarta, make you feel the same pain and I did. I see that, I know that, and I'm so sorry, Irina. I never thought you were a whore, never, My Love, never." He could understand now, after witnessing this and hearing her thoughts, why she'd reacted the way she did in Jakarta when he'd almost called her it again… he was just solidifying in her mind that night, how he really felt if he'd brought it up again.

"I know that now." Irina whispered back through a pained teary smile, feeling relief in hearing him say it, in spite of knowing he didn't think that of her for quite some time. "I wouldn't be here right now, if I didn't believe you." She cupped the side of his face with her hand, her thumb brushing back and forth slowly over his cheek, "And you wouldn't be here either if you really believed I was, I know, Jack." She gave him a small smile, leaning in slightly and he caught her lips in the sweetest of kisses.

* * *

**_*Wicked Game*_**

The film changed to Jack waking from a dream and once again, his heart had spoken its love to _Irina_ instead of Laura. He ended up sitting on the porch swing in the dark looking out over the park as a montage of their life together: the good the bad and the ugly, went slowly through his mind into the light of morning inter-cut with Irina doing the same thing, sitting in her hammock swing at night looking out over the ocean in Brazil.

It cut from there to them finding Irina in Rio and then to Jack, who was lost in consuming thoughts of her as they flew in the plane to South America. Another silent montage went along with the song as Irina went back into the hospital to have the pins removed from her hand and then had another sonogram of the baby. Happy tears in her eyes for a change as she watched the beautiful baby curled up and sleeping so peacefully inside her.

**_*Magalenha*_**

Those who were present in the Rio raid waited with bated breath again to see how close they had actually been to Irina and what she'd been doing just before they stormed in. A wave of guilt immediately rushed through them, especially Kendall, as he was responsible for the raid, when for the first time in a long time, they'd seen Irina actually happy and smiling.

Irina was anxious to see this scene as well, knowing exactly how close they were that night.

When her eyes flashed to the Security Monitor screen and saw the Delta Team, she dropped the knife and they all ceased to breath watching the following.

_Irina bolted for the side patio doors and flew down the steps three at a time in her bare feet, wincing slightly grabbing her stomach when she jumped over the banister onto the second flight knowing she had to move much faster hearing the spray of bullets above her._

"Oh God…" Sydney gasped, her hand instinctively going over her own belly in a protective move just as her mother was doing onscreen seeing the extreme danger in this situation to both her mother and unborn sister when she saw Irina flying over the banister railing.

_Irina threw herself against the wall of the house in the shadows below the deck when she saw two men in black go flying by her, searching with their scope lights in the darkness as they moved quickly past her. As soon as they were past, she ran sliding along the length of the house and then lunged the short distance on quick feet into the cover of the jungle on the mountain beside her. _

_She was running, holding her stomach with her bad hand and breathing heavily as a surge of cramps hit her suddenly from the adrenaline rush and movements and she grabbed a tree bracing herself in the darkness and trying not to drop to her knees from the pain. _

_A singular dark figure was running towards her direction from inside the jungle and she quickly stood, hiding behind the tree and holding her breath, clenching her teeth as the person ran past her not five feet behind her. _

"_My breath caught when I turned my head to look,"_ Lena's voice narrated Irina's thoughts over the action, _"And saw the back of my daughter's form running with gun aimed towards my house."_ Tears immediately flooded Irina's eyes onscreen, _"I couldn't stop the sharp shooting pain in my heart that I was literally being hunted by my own child… family, I realized when Jack wasn't far behind with the other agents." _

Jack and Sydney were flabbergasted to see just how close they'd been that night, that Irina had seen them, stood just feet away and horrified to hear she thought they were 'hunting her' though that is exactly the conclusion anyone would come to given the facts presented.

_As soon as they had passed Irina turned and quickly kept moving, gasping again and reaching out for a tree with her good arm sinking to her knees with another crippling cramp tearing through her. _

_"Arrgh," Irina cringed in pain and blinding tears of emotion, "No, no, no, baby…" She panted, running her hand over her belly sitting in the muddy jungle floor, her eyes catching sight of the tiny trickle of blood running down her inner thigh and smearing a stain against the edges of her sundress and knee. Irina inhaled a sob hoping that the jump from the balcony hadn't forced her into labor causing her to miscarry so late in her pregnancy and lose her baby. She didn't have long to think about it before another cramp ripped through her body and she cringed through her tears, "Please not now. I need your help, Little One… hang in there for Mama." She pleaded with her baby and staggered to her feet and bracing herself as she moved more and more quickly down the path until she was about a half mile into the thick green. _

Jack's heart was pounding, as was Kendall's, at the sight of the tiny stream of blood running down Irina's leg, signaling something was wrong with the baby if she was bleeding and cramping and having been the cause of her potentially losing Lena in forcing Irina to flee.

The audience watched in utter fascination as she looked at the trees around her, noticed the senseless pattern carved in the tree she was standing beside. She traced it with her finger for just a second before looking up at the canopy above and spotted what she'd been looking for when they saw the pair of old sneakers thrown over a branch. Immediately she dropped to her knees on the musty earth and started pawing away at the fallen foliage and dirt until she exposed the edge of a wooden board.

She dug her fingers under it and lifted the enormous structure covered with mud to take away the hollow sound and making it heavier with a grimace on her face, clutching her chest and stomach simultaneously from pain the moment the door fell backwards.

They still had no idea what she was doing, they couldn't see inside the black hole in the ground but watched breathless as she shimmied forward and then carefully dropped herself inside, dropping down and out of their sight.

A flashlight clicked on the darkened corner exposing she was in an underground room of sorts and putting on a backpack she'd pulled from a plastic bag, grabbing the earthen wall with a grimace as another cramp tore through her abdomen.

The snake coming from the ceiling above her and hissing had most gasping and Bella slamming her eyes shut turning her head into Mikhail not wanting to watch terrified of snakes.

When the pain of the cramp subsided, Irina wheeled around again shining the light right in the direction of the camera and then it went out leaving them to still wonder what was going on exactly.

The camera angle changed instantly again to the jungle floor lit dimly with the moonlight seeping in through the canopy and the sound of an engine firing broke the silence just seconds before Irina on a black motorbike came flying out from the dark hole on a ramp and spun out only momentarily when her bare foot, bloodied and scratched hit the ground to turn rapidly.

The camera and audience were flying along with her as she tore through the thick jungle in the dark, not using any headlight and only the moon to guide her. She was driving with only one hand as the other was useless and resting around her belly, still cramping it was clear from the looks on her tear stained face, from the exertion and the jump off the balcony.

Kendall's guilt only surged seeing exactly how entirely dangerous the situation was he'd put her in. He knew they all shared the guilt and blame in how things went down but if he had just let Jack go in, instead of sending the Delta Team as backup, this likely wouldn't have happened, Irina driving with one hand, while in pain and pregnant, bare foot in the dark at high speeds through the jungle with branches and vines hitting her in the face and everywhere else and potentially losing the baby.

The scene cut back to the action in Irina's house and Jack facing off against the Delta Team Leader as well as the discovery of Irina's pregnancy and Sydney's realization as to who the father was. Her reaction and Weiss's find of the ammo belt on top of the baby book had eased the tension some in the theatre allowing everyone to laugh a little in spite of the seriousness of the painful situation.

Sydney's fingers linked more tightly with her mother's when her onscreen self began reading the letter and by the end, everyone was crying again hearing her words and then watching as they found out who Vaughn's father really was.

**_*Iguazu*_**

The scene cut back to Irina on a main road now, still cutting through the jungle with no traffic in sight as she drove on. The tear trails streaming from her eyes into her hair from the wind, expounding on the pain she was feeling in her heart as the images of Sydney and then Jacks' forms running past her in the jungle and the men crashing through her windows with guns blazing.

_She drove on for another two hours until she came to a tiny town surrounded by jungle except for a large open soccer field they'd carved out for their favorite game. Irina pulled her bike up to a house just next to the field and leaned it against the side, bypassing the gas station and only phone she knew in town, seeing the notorious Policia were badgering a passing motorist already and knowing that a pregnant woman, barefoot and bleeding would bring too much unwanted attention. _

_Quietly, she walked on trembling legs back into the jungle, walking just along its edge so she could look at the field and across it to keep an eye on the police, who were now leaving, and gain distance from them before leaning against a tree and sliding carefully down it. _

_The cramping had lessened but was still present and the blood trickling down her inner leg had stopped and now dried. She prayed to God she wasn't going into labor. It was too soon. Her fingers fumbled with the leather straps on her bag, the tiny cuts from the leaves biting into her skin as she drove through the jungle left small bloody trails across her exposed skin of her arms, legs, neck and face and she was sure she'd have a few new bruises from where she'd been pelted with whipping tree branches. She removed a bottle of water from her bag and took a long drink, leaning back against the tree and sighing while she tried to calm her still pounding heart and breathing and then dug around again, removing a beacon and pressing it to reveal her location. _

_With that accomplished, she folded her legs under her in meditation style and closed her eyes as the silent tears started again and she ran circles over her belly trying to calm the kicking baby beneath who was running on the same adrenaline surge as her mother._

_Less than twenty minutes later, she heard the blades of her helicopter slicing through the air and the rush of wind as it landed on the soccer field in the dark of night. _

_The people in the tiny town had run indoors the moment they spotted the black chopper fearing it was the feared Policia again back for a raid and watched through little windows as the woman in a white sundress, pregnant, and with no shoes on emerged from the jungle and boarded, flying off instantly into the sky. _

_She'd had her Emergency Escape Plan in place as she always did, knowing from the past there was a great chance she'd have to use it if discovered and this time, it had worked. _

_She was now on her way to Sao Paulo where she'd board her waiting jet and fly straight home to Russia, needing some time to think and come up with a new plan as this one was just sabotaged._

They were all impressed with her escape plan and Jack shook his head realizing that they had gone right over the hole in the ground under the hidden door hiding her escape plan, remembering the mark on the tree and actually thankful they hadn't found it and she'd gotten away.

Jack reading the letter addressed to him was next onscreen and Irina brushed more biting tears away from her cheeks seeing him trace the outlines of their baby's face with a look of absolute love and loss… believing he would never know the child in that picture and it tore at her heart seeing once again how much pain they were all in then at being separated.

Mikhail was having a hard time watching his son's anguish at learning the truth about him and thankful, that his son had Sydney to lean on.

The film immediately cut back to St. Petersburg at sunset.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace_

_Katya and Dmitri had been in town and both were surprised, immediately locking gazes in the mirror from the limo when they pulled into the driveway and watched the black helicopter come flying over them from the lawn beside the palace. _

_Their hearts immediately began to pound knowing it had to be Irina as it could be no one else with Julian in a CIA prison and Katya in the car with him. _

_As soon as the limo was parked, Katya didn't wait for Dmitri to open her door and instead flew out and into the house, calling out her sister's name as she ran up the stairs frantically searching for her. _

_"Irina?" Katya called again, feeling inside her that something bad had happened and desperate to know what. She tore open the doors to Irina's room and her sister was nowhere to be seen, her room looked just the same as it had when she'd left. Still calling out her name, she flew down the stairs again and headed towards the kitchen just as Dmitri was making his way inside having put the car away._

_"You haven't found her?" His eyebrows knit with even more worry as he followed her into the kitchen, both frozen the moment they looked out the French doors toward the garden._

_Her back was too them, silhouetted beautifully in the twilight as she sat on the bench over looking the massive gathering of gorgeous flowers, her long hair blowing softly in the breeze. _

_"For a moment there… I thought I was seeing a ghost," Dmitri whispered through a dry voice, "She looks so like your mother… especially sitting there."_

**_*Walkaway*_**

_"Me too." Katya gasped, already blinking back tears. _

_They were relieved to see her alive but knew something had gone wrong for her to be there and as they couldn't see her stomach from behind, only prayed it wasn't the baby._

_"I'll make the tea." Dmitri nodded, kissing Katya's head in encouragement and nodding towards the door for her to go to her. _

_Katya approached quietly from behind and then stood off to an angle for a moment at a distance taking in her sister's profile and closing her eyes in a silent prayer of thanks to God when she saw the big baby belly still there with Irina's hand protectively over it. _

_Her sister looked impossibly gorgeous in this light with wisps of hair twirling and twisting wildly in the light breeze before her face. Her gaze was concentrated on something in the distance as she sat staring in her own world it seemed and Katya forged ahead quietly, her brows furrowing when she noticed the mud on Irina's white sundress as she got closer and then the mud and dried blood covering her legs and bare feet. Her heart started to pound when she saw Irina's face was also marred with faint blood scratches and mud. She couldn't see any gaping wounds, only scratches and for that, she felt a small bit of relief. _

_"Rina…" She called to her softly, not wanting to startle her as she came to sit beside her, "What happened?" She asked breathless, her eyes roving over her sister's form and placed a hand on her belly, feeling the baby moving beneath. _

_"They found me." Irina choked out in a small voice with her eyes still on the garden's horizon._

_"Who? Jack and Sydney? I told you they didn't want to let you go… that they were desperate to talk to you." Katya asked quietly slightly confused with Irina's appearance if it was Jack and Sydney._

_"Not just them… it was a CIA raid," Irina continued to stare in a state of almost disbelief, "There was a Delta team… they came in with guns blazing… they weren't there to talk to me, Katya," She blinked and the tears that had welled in her eyes now slid silently down her cheeks mixing with the blood and dirt, "They were there to kill me."_

_"Oh," Katya gasped covering her mouth with her hand in shock as her own tears surged forth, "I don't understand, it has to be a mistake… Not Sydney at least, Rina," She cried, hesitating to reach out, but did, grasping her sister's arm lightly, "I saw the look in her eyes when I told her… She loves you, she wouldn't-"_

_"I saw her, Katya," Irina turned to look at her sister with pain bleeding from her heart through her tears and then looked away, choking on a sob shaking her head, "And Jack… with guns pointed not a few feet away as I hid… they were hunting me." _

_"Did they see you?" Katya asked quietly in her own strangled voice worried they'd seen the belly and realized Irina was pregnant, reaching out and wiping the tears streaking through the mud and blood mixture on Irina's cheek only smearing it further but needing to reach out as her own heart cried for and with her. _

_"No," Irina shook her head, "I escaped without anyone seeing me or so I think… it doesn't matter though. They'll know I'm pregnant if they raided the house. I just put the new sonogram photos up, not to mention all the other things there, that will give it away." _

_"They'll be even more determined to find you now," Katya's eyes widened in fear that they would find her sister, take the baby and then execute her, "What are we going to do?" She asked, clasping Irina's hand in her own, her thumb running nervously over the back of Irina's fingers._

_"I don't know." Irina shook her head, still staring straight ahead with tears falling._

**_*Goodbyes*_**

When the scene changed it was back to Los Angeles with Sydney, Jack and Vaughn watching the videos they'd recovered from Irina's house in Rio and the audience sat in their continuous tears to see Sydney realizing exactly how much her mother loved her, and missed her as the images of them rolled by and those of her grandmother on the video. By the end they were all quietly sobbing thinking of Anya and Irina, and Irina and Sydney and the far too many goodbyes between the mothers and daughters and especially Irina in losing them both.

The song continued even as Jack announced they were going to St. Petersburg and headed towards the airport in a rush.

As the plane took off with Sydney staring out the window in her own agony as tears swept down her face thinking about her mother and remembering their past, thinking about the images and clips she'd just seen and pondering how her mother must have felt about all this. She was thinking about the last goodbye she had with her mother on the ledge in Mexico City and then in Moscow, going over yet again every detail and look, the tone of her mother's voice and every action she could remember, seeing now, that her mother was trying to protect her, see the love in her former questionable actions.

As her memories came to a close, the film cut to Irina who had been thinking about the same things as she strolled along the banks of the lake as another day was ending in her part of the world. Her own mind was flooded with thoughts of her daughter and mother.

They all cried hearing Irina asking her mother for the strength and help to get through this again, saying goodbye to her daughter and living with the knowledge that Sydney hated her, was hunting her down, her own baby and that pain cut deeply that she had failed so miserably as a mother, scared to do it again with this new daughter.

**_*Fix You*_**

_Irina had said her goodnight to both Dmitri and Katya after a late dinner and made her way upstairs, exhausted and emotionally drained. One foot after the other she trudged upstairs with heavy feet and a heavy heart. She closed the door quietly behind her and slowly started to peel her clothes off, setting them aside and reaching into her armoire to retrieve a nightgown. _

_Her days had existed of going through the motions of living but her mind and heart held her prisoner to the past and would not let her have one minute of peace without thinking about Jack or Sydney or Julian. _

_When she turned around, her eyes landed on the framed photo of her daughter on her nightstand and the tears started to well again instantly as she walked slowly over to pick it up. _

_"Oh, Sydney… I'm so sorry I failed you." She cried, holding back and shaking slightly trying not breakdown crying again. Her finger traced over her daughter's face, "If you only knew how much I love you." She shook her head softly as the tears began to fall and she placed the photo back on her nightstand. _

_The summer nights were cool in Russia but still warm and the intoxicating smell of the garden's flowers were drifting through her window calling to her as she stood in the doorway to the balcony, hugging herself and looking out over the estate with tears streaming down her face. _

_"I had tried and failed to reconnect with Sydney and the, haunting ache of her loss had returned when I had left my daughter again." _Lena's voice came on again narrating Irina's thoughts as she and unraveled her arms, wiped the tears from her eyes onscreen and reached for the doors closing them_. "I had come to accept that there would forever be, as there had always been before, a hole in my heart that would never be mended, never be filled and continuously aching for the love of my daughter."_

The mad tears streaming down everyone's cheeks only continued watching as just outside her window after she closed the doors, Jack, Sydney and Vaughn snuck across the lawn just below her as they made their way to the front of the house.

_"Now what?" Vaughn whispered onscreen as they stood before the enormous doors to the palace nervously._

_"We ring the bell." Sydney answered him pressing the button and the audience chuckled anticipating the reunion with the same nervous breath._

_"Can I help you?" Dmitri was alarmed to find the three on his doorstep at such an hour and his heart started to pound knowing this was too much of a coincidence to have these people showing up just a couple of days after Irina returned having been on the run._

_Irina had just turned down the sheets when she heard the bell and her brows pinched together as she looked at the clock and saw the late hour, her heart immediately beating faster at whomever the visitor was at this time of night. She opened the door to her room hearing the voices and gasped when she heard, "Wait!" In English from the voice of her panicked sounding daughter, and watched over the railing as Dmitri tried to hold back the door and struggling to do so, "I know she's here… she's my mother!" She heard Sydney's plea from behind the door and her heart began to pound in her chest with anxiety and fear, mixed with a certain hopefulness at the tone her child was using and sounding desperate to see her, talk to her and not like that of someone wanting to kill her._

_Dmitri was completely blindsided and stood astonished looking into the face of Irina's daughter he'd only ever heard about and never seen; easily recognizing his beautiful Empress's features in the young woman before him now. His panic immediately hit as he remembered that it was this daughter, who had been hunting Irina in Brazil with a CIA Special Forces Team and he tried to deflect her not wanting to put Irina and the baby in anymore danger. "I'm sorry… she's not here."_

_Irina stepped back into her room, leaving the door open but flattened herself against the wall to listen, with one hand over her belly and the other over her pounding heart._

_"Dmitri, who is it?" Katya asked coming from the kitchen, just as curious and anxious about the late night caller and her heart dropped into her stomach when she heard Sydney's voice calling to her._

_"Katya! It's me, Sydney!" _

_Katya panicked for a moment before realizing it was too late to dismiss Sydney and the distress in her niece's voice called out to that part of her heart that firmly believed in spite of what Irina told her about Sydney and the raid, that her sister's child loved her mother… and was hoping that she wasn't wrong as she touched Dmitri's shoulder to allow him to let her pass. She immediately regretted it when she saw Jack and Vaughn come through the door just after her. _

_"What are you doing here?" She asked with a dry throat as images of her sister's pregnant form and the baby on the sonogram flashed through her mind, already having an idea having known they'd not give up on looking for Irina._

_"We know about the baby." _

_Irina felt her heart about to explode as a million emotions ran rampant through her hearing Jack's voice and her hand went protectively over the baby. She stepped out into the hallway, and walked slowly towards the stairs watching them over the banister, stopping mid-stride on the first step with her tears building with a hopefulness she thought dead when he spoke again and revealed he hadn't been responsible for the raid._

_"It wasn't us… Kendall went behind my back with a Delta Team."_

_"Please…is she here?" Sydney pleaded and it was breaking Irina's heart as she locked onto the image of her daughter begging to see her while she continued to walk slowly down the stairs. "I have to talk to her… I have to tell her I know… I know the truth now." Sydney started crying and her voice shaking brought a new surge of tears into Irina's eyes as she listened. "Please… I have to tell her I remember, I… I have to tell her I love her…"_

_Irina gasped softly to herself with a catching breath hearing her daughter's declaration._

_"To the moon and back… more than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth-" _

_"Forever and always." Irina finished for Sydney, stunned and frozen that her daughter had remembered and just said it._

_Sydney's head whipped around to Irina's and they locked eyes immediately; Irina holding her breath as time stopped for those few seconds with Sydney staring back at her and then flashed into real-time after Sydney whispered, "Mom…" and her daughter came flying up the stairs towards her, throwing her arms around her neck before Irina could take another breath. _

_She held Sydney for a moment in disbelief this was happening and felt the love and desperateness in her daughter's hug and started to cry with her, returning the hug and holding her tightly, closing her eyes in relief and thanking God for giving her this moment as she held her daughter again in her arms._

_"You remembered?" Irina pulled back, staring into Sydney's pooling eyes and thumbing away her warm tears as she held her face in her hands._

The reunion between Irina and Sydney had them all crying in happy tears again for a change and Irina leaned over, pulling Sydney to her with her hand to the back of her neck and kissing her daughter's forehead.

"I love you. Sweetheart." Irina repeated what her onscreen self had just said with a teary smile, everyday and moment of her life thankful for that night that brought them back into her life.

_Katya was crying silently looking up at her sister and niece on the stairs in her own disbelief this was happening, crying in happiness but also in fear with a pounding heart, still not knowing how this was going to turn out as they were CIA and her sister, a fugitive. _

_Sydney waylaid her fears to a degree when she told Irina they weren't there for the CIA but Katya still had no reason to trust their word and waited for Irina's reaction. _

_When her sister seemed to accept that response and offered to go talk, her eyes flashed to Dmitri, the glance between them saying that they would both be keeping an eye on these unexpected guests with backup options available if need be but that they would let Irina lead this where she wanted to. _

_Both of them were frozen in place at having Irina's American family standing before them, witnessing for the first time the interaction between Sydney and Irina… and then Jack and Irina when she addressed him at the bottom of the stairs._

Everyone was completely enthralled watching the scene before them and the conversation taking place, the introductions and the beginning of some explanations, Jack and Sydney finding out Irina was having a girl and then the laughter with the astonishment in their eyes at hearing Dmitri addressing her by her title.

A roar of laughter rose when Irina asked where she should start and Jack looked at her with eyebrows to his hairline and replied in a serious breathless tone of disbelief, "How about the beginning… Tsarina." And another laugh with Irina's responding 'death glare' with a hint of a smile on her lips and eyes.

The tears returned with her explanation of how it was that her mother survived and then fell in love with her father, her conception and then the reveal of how it was she knew Mikhail.

The look on Jack's face when Irina put Sydney and Vaughn in the same bedroom sent another wave of hysteria through the audience while they rode this emotional rollercoaster and then once again, came to a heart-gripping drop when Irina was alone with Jack in 'his room.'

A small laugh rose with Jack's poor attempt to hide his hopeful tone that it was 'her' room and he was going to be sleeping with her.

_"No, this is your room. Goodnight, Jack." Irina gave him a smile, hating herself already that just the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes was making her weak before him, her love for him fighting to cloud her judgment again._

_"Whoa… wait a minute!"_ Jack called after her and grabbed her arm to stop her onscreen and everyone held their breath, especially Sydney knowing very little about this night and first conversation between her parents about what happened.

_"And I lied to you… about that night in Panama."_

The audience gasped right along with Irina who looked up at him before her with wide eyes of confusion.

_"I wanted to hurt you… like you hurt me, so I lied to you about using you, getting revenge for all the years I thought you used me. I did 'see' your intentions that night and I know you weren't using me. I knew you were up to something with Sloane. I wished I were wrong, that I could change your mind. I knew you were going to try to stop me… stop us from making love because you didn't want me to think you were using me when you went through with your plan, but… I didn't care. I needed you, Irina… just you. With no CIA, no Sloane, no missions or Rambaldi… no master plans. I just needed you. I wanted you…" _

Sydney's tears were raining down hearing her father's plea and seeing the torn look in his eyes onscreen, admitting his own truth as the images of her parents reunion in Panama flashed onto the screen as they ran through both her parents minds in that moment.

_"Jack, if this is about the baby," Irina moved her hand to rest on her belly, pulling her hand and face away from Jack's contact, realizing this pregnancy was the only reason he was saying this now. He felt guilty that their unborn child was the product of a manipulation and he was afraid she'd cut him out of the baby's life._

_"No, it's not about the baby. I mean, yes, it is about the baby. Irina, this is about us." Jack tried to stop her and explain, get through to her but the damage he'd done ran deep._

_"There is no 'us,' Jack! There will never be an 'us."_

The audience felt another surge in tears, watching her reaction and things going rapidly down hill again.

_"The first time I felt her kick was right after you'd just told me you only slept with me to use me. The thought that this beautiful life growing inside me, a life we created… was out of your revenge on me." Irina shook her head, holding back more tears, "I realized then, there would never be an 'us' again, if there, ever was one before."_

It was a gut wrenching conversation that had a moment of happiness when Jack felt the baby kicking for the first time and then once again, came crashing violently down when Irina brought them back to reality.

_"We live in the real world, Jack… not some fairy tale, and in the real world, you are the hunter and I am the hunted. There are always 'buts' in the real world." _

This situation before them was entirely terrible to the audience, shaking their heads at the heartbreak of reality and hating the laws of government right now, including President Bush who had tears in his eyes seeing this situation through them and feeling the pain for Jack and Irina, both, in his heart.

_"Besides, I've already got the princess." His eyes darted to her lips as he inched his body closer._

_"I'm not a princess." Irina answered onscreen making them laugh softly seeing her eyes already going to Jack's lips._

"Uh-oh…" Weiss smiled like a giddy schoolgirl with anticipation realizing what was bound to happen with those looks and touches.

**_*Far Away*_**

_"Empress… Tsarina… whatever."_ Jack answered flippantly and crashed his mouth to Irina's onscreen and a collective 'awe' went around the theatre and many faces were stained with happy tears and wide smiles, including Sydney who wasn't embarrassed but relieved, in love with the couple onscreen and pulling for them just as much as anyone else, smiling at them beside her now and thankful she'd jumped the fence that night.

_"I'm going to bed now, Jack."_ Irina pushed Jack away onscreen and a sudden gasp ran through the crowd with Weiss's '_no!_' of disbelief and horror that she was pushing Jack away.

A wave of laughter followed when she turned back and added_, "Aren't you coming?"_ Then winked and the laughter only rose in volumes seeing Jack frozen in the moment realizing what was happening and run for the door.

"Damn…" Weiss and Will both gasped at the same time along with Jack onscreen seeing the image of Irina standing in the moonlight in front of the giant glass doors.

"My God, she's beautiful." Judy smiled, shaking her head in awe of Lena's gorgeousness on the screen before them.

When Jack slid the strap off her shoulder and then kissed her neck, his thumb grazing over the scar in her shoulder from that night in Panama a collective 'awe' rang out again when he turned her around and stared into her eyes, cupping her face before slowly moving in and kissing her.

Another slow montage of their reunion night of love making since that night in Panama began leaving them all in a mixture of tears and breathless as things were heating up and yet full of obvious loving passion between the two who had been so torn without the other.

When Irina straddled Jack's waist and her eyes locked with his, as she slowly pulled the nightgown off over her head and threw it behind her more then a few men shifted once again in their seats and Sophia couldn't help but giggle through her tears, looking for it now with every hot scene and loving the fact her aunt had this kind of power on the male species.

Everyone was in awe along with Jack onscreen at her magnificently beautiful pregnant form with all its scars sitting above him bathed in the pale moonlight. Her eyes were dark and glittering with unshed tears when he reached up with both hands and palmed the sides of her belly, feeling the manifestation of last time they'd made love.

Sydney was crying again watching them, as awestruck now as she was with Panama at seeing her parent's incredible and undeniable love once again; her heart rejoicing at their reunion after seeing how the separation and living life without each other had crippled both her parents. She didn't bother wiping the tears dripping from her eyes watching her mother slowly lean down and kiss her father's face with loving and yet teasing touches with her lips.

The montage cut to a scene like that from Panama with Jack behind Irina only this time, when his hand linked with hers over her belly, it was covering their literal love child and Irina's body was marred with fresh new scars.

More tears flooded forth from the eyes of many wearing happy smiles when it was over and cut to Irina's forehead pressed to Jack's as their bodies were tangled together; laughing when she spoke first with a smile, "_Well you've certainly given me a workout… though not the kind I think my physical therapist had in mind."_

"Okay, that was a little squicky," Sydney flipped her dimpled devious grin at her mother, making Irina laugh and shake her head.

Sydney's eyes darted back to the screen in time to see her father staring intently into her mother's eyes before sending the audience including herself into another 'awe' moment with his, "_God, I've missed you._" And then kissed Irina soundly.

* * *

**_*Open Arms*_**

When the scene faded out as their eyes closed it came back in with Irina awakening first in the morning and staring into Jack's face.

_She moved her hand up and tucked it flat underneath her cheek as she studied his sleeping face beside her with a soft smile on her lips, her eyes flooding with new tears. _

_Her heart beat with a new hope but she couldn't stop the fear coursing through her at the same time, afraid to believe this would last or go anywhere outside this bedroom having been sadly disappointed more than once in the past when it came to hoping for a life with Jack._

_"I was terrified,"_ Lena's voice broke through with Irina's thoughts adding to the lyrical explanation of her thoughts and feelings already going over the scene and bringing them to tears, _"There was a war going on inside me as I lay there looking at him beside me. I wanted to trust what he was saying to me… trying to understand how it all could have changed so quickly for him, his feelings for me." _

This time a pained 'awe' was heard through soft gasps when the images of Jack's tirade against her flashed through her mind and the tears fell from her eyes before the opposing image of him from the night before telling her he'd lied to her about using her, that night in Panama had meant something to him, too.

_"I held myself back from fully feeling any kind of sense of joy because I was so scared to believe that this could work out. Not just this moment or today, but the long run… the rest of our lives, I dare not hope. I'd hoped in the past and each time I thought I was going to die when I lost him, the pain of losing him so deep." _

Irina inhaled a sharp breath onscreen to keep from sobbing as she stared at him and Jack picked up her hand, kissing it and holding it over his heart with his own tears having never known she had awoken like this, watching him sleep and waging this war of feelings. He suspected when he'd seen her eyes later in the morning but now had confirmation.

_"I wanted to believe him… I wanted to believe in what he'd said that we would find a way… but I also knew that what I'd said the night before still held true today; the spell once again broken with the morning light. I was still the hunted and he the hunter and I was scared that last night would end up being what Panama had been, a few precious stolen hours of time and that's all we could ever have in this real world situation… stolen moments in time and nothing more." _

Everyone felt the painful kick in their guts in understanding her valid fears but still torn hearing her admit it aloud.

The pain over the situation only escalating when Jack awoke in the morning to find her gone from bed and thinking she'd vanished again.

Irina had looked away nervously onscreen and ran her hand over her bare belly for comfort and caught Jack's gaze. They swallowed hard with him when he really looked at the mark he'd made on her flesh for the first time in the bright light of day and skimmed it lightly with his fingertips over her pregnant expanse. His smile had faded as did theirs and as both his mind and Irina's onscreen flashed back to the same moment he'd shot her in Moscow.

_"I'm sorry." Jack finally spoke staring up into her eyes and the remorse for his actions was clear._

_"It's alright. I know you thought I had hurt Sydney." _

New tears surged through Sydney's eyes watching as her mother pulled away from her father, trying to pull out of his grasp though her father held on knowing her mother was pulling away from him so obviously hurt that he had tried to kill her in spite of those reasons for believing her ever capable of hurting their child.

Even Vaughn was feeling his own guilty conscience remembering that night when he'd been the one threatening Jack to shoot Irina or he would, believing her then to be such a monster and felt he shared in part of that responsibility in maiming his mother-in-law and almost losing her life and that of his Goddaughter because of it.

When her father kept trying to apologize and talk about it, her mother pulled away again and it crushed Sydney to see them so divided because of what happened with her… feeling guilty if she had no reason to logically, that because of her, her father had almost killed her mother and little sister.

They erupted in laughter throughout the whole Jack and Sydney face off in the morning and Irina had tears in her eyes for the first time throughout this entire film from laughing.

"Was that really necessary to put in there?" Jack arched his eyebrow looking at her and trying not to smile, loving seeing her laughing for the first time like this tonight. His embarrassment was definitely worth it to see the smile light her eyes.

"Yes." Irina answered matter-of-factly with a straight face and then burst out laughing again, trying to shush herself as to not wake Lena who began stirring again with everyone's outburst.

Another surge of laughter shot through the audience when Katya confronted Irina in the kitchen and Irina asked what her sister had done to Jack.

_"I didn't do anything to him. The better question is what did 'you' do to him? He looks like he was attacked by a Siberian Tiger."_

They couldn't stop laughing with Katya onscreen watching as she made a cat hissing noise and then clawed the air and Irina started choking on her juice.

"So it was your Mom really, who gave her that nickname originally?" Weiss turned to Sophia bright red from laughing with tears in his eyes.

The laughter died down when the conversation between the sisters turned serious and the tears once again turned to sadness hearing Irina confessing her fears to her sister.

_"I've never been more afraid then I am of taking this leap… Everything I've ever wanted is right in front of me and yet I'm scared to death that it will be ripped away from me once again or I'll do something wrong and they'll change their minds."_

It was breaking Jack and Sydney's hearts to hear that she was actually afraid they'd change their minds.

_"You know it's not that simple. They are breaking the law just by-" Irina tried to protest but was cut off in argument by her fierce sister._

_"Yes it is! As long as you two realize what's the most important thing in your lives… the rest will find a way of working out. Believe in it… believe in yourself and believe in each other, Irina. Remember what Mama said, 'Love abides by no boundaries or laws made by man… only the heart.' Be honest, Rina. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that you love him… because I know you haven't or you wouldn't be so worried about all this." _

Katya argued with her onscreen and Jack's tearful frown turned into a soft smile hearing his sister-in-law championing for them and encouraging Irina.

The laughter returned again though with Irina's response to Katya's, _"This baby represents the second chance life is throwing at you two. Be happy about it."_

_"I am happy about it!" _And then again with her addition of, _"Keep an eye on Sydney and Vaughn for me please… They have a way of finding trouble."_

"Hey," Sydney and Vaughn both chorused together turning their heads to Irina with smiles and narrowed eyebrows even if they knew it was accurate.

_"You're the one? The CIA agent?"_

Dmitri onscreen had challenged Jack once Irina was inside the limo and it was Irina's turn to watch curiously the intense conversation having not been privy to it that day though Jack had told her of it later.

_"You were part of the team in Moscow?" _

_"Yes…" _

_"She almost bled to death in the back of my car that night. By all medical standards she was dead. I don't know what your intentions are with our Tsarina… but I swore to her father that I would take care of her when she couldn't take care of herself, protect her when she was vulnerable. Do I need to protect her from you?" _

_"No."_

_"Good."_

Irina swallowed hard with wide-eyes turning her gaze to Jack when it was finished with surprise and astonishment in her eyes hearing Dmitri's immediate and intense protectiveness of her and Jack's promise he'd never need to protect her from him.

"Wow… that was intense." She whispered giving Jack a slight smile seeing that there was still a lingering guilt in his eyes over what happened, "I'm fortunate to have two great men in my life who are so protective of me." Her smile grew and she leaned in, kissing his lips.

Sydney was watching with bated breath her parent's conversation in the limo and had it stolen when she heard her mother ask, _"Are you certain about this, Jack?" _

With a terrified look in her eyes and her father's response of, "_The only thing I am certain of… Is that I love you, Irina." _

Telling her mother he loved her, using her _real name_ for the first time.

There was not a dry eye in the theatre watching Irina's falling tears onscreen while Jack held her face so lovingly onscreen and then she too, told him she loved him for the first time in a long time.

The remainder of the film had them continuing on the rollercoaster of highs and lows with Irina's kidnapping and rescue from Sloane, learning about what the horrid little man was up to and then Irina's arrest and imprisonment again while extremely pregnant.

Julian's visit with Irina while both were prisoners and Irina forgiving him and telling him she loved him for the first time was truly heartbreaking.

Lena's birth had everyone roaring with laughter again watching the 'boys' interaction with Irina so intimately for the first time and then to the tragic news of her Execution Sentence handed down and Kendall taking Lena from her tore them apart.

The President and First Lady were horrified watching the events unfold and the heartbreaking goodbyes with Irina that led Sydney, Lena and Vaughn to their bedside.


	32. Chapter 32

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Silence by Hans Zimmer from The Thin Red Line Soundtrack, Deliver Me By Sarah Brightman, Fix You by Coldplay, Never Grow Old by The Cranberries,**__********__ The End _******by Hans Zimmer from The Dark Knight Rises Soundtrack, _Injection_ by Hans Zimmer from Mission Impossible II. Soundtrack**_********__  
_

* * *

THIRTY-TWO

o

**_*Silence*_**

Irina's heart was racing as she watched her Execution begin, only remembering it up to so far before she was unconscious and watching herself dying so violently now was unbearable to see especially because of her family's reactions.

President Bush and Laura were sobbing with everyone else seeing the red light blinking just minutes too late and had no idea really, how horrific Irina's Execution really had been. Watching as they tried to bring her back had ceased their breathing and even though they all knew she was alive and beside them, they found themselves still praying and hoping along that she'd make it.

_"Get ready and clear!"_

_"Again!" _

_"Clear!" _

_"Come on, Irina!"_

_"Clear!" _

_"Come on, Irina!" _

Dr. Peterson was sitting in stunned silence unable to blink or breathe seeing now just what had done so much damage and he shook his head knowing now more than ever, Irina's survival had been nothing short of a miracle. Something far beyond their level of understanding. A much higher power at work to have spared her life.

_"Clear!" _

_"No…" _

_"Clear!" _

_"She's gone…" _

_"No!" _

Dubey was watching with raining tears and absolutely horrified knowing his role in this even if it was unknowing. To see her body bouncing horrifically off the table, so lifeless and pale with blood streaming from her eyes, nose and mouth, literally watching the last signs of life bleed from her body.

_"Again!" _

_"Clear!"_

_"Again!" _

_"Clear!"_

_"Again!" _

_"Clear!" _

_"Crank it!" _

_"But doctor…It's been too long…she'll have too much damage."_

_"Again!"_

Ann was so horrified her mouth was hanging open slightly in a continuous silent scream and sob, finally turning into her husband and clinging to his chest with fisted hands in his tuxedo scared to death. Watching this was worse than any horror film she'd seen knowing these events were real and she couldn't breathe watching Irina's body bounce and jerk off the table as they shocked her again and again back to life.

_"Clear!" _

_"Again!"_

_"Clear!" _

_"All the way! Turn it as high as it will go!"_

_"Come on, Irina…" _

_"Again! And clear!" _

_"Sydney!"_

**_*Deliver Me*_**

The film ended with a fade out from Sydney's vision as she passed out and fell to the floor and the credits began to roll simultaneously with real life images and clips of these events and during this time as with the other films.

Irina still couldn't breath even as the credits began to roll showing her real life self being escorted in chains to her cell for the first time soaked with the rain. She understood now, why her husband and daughter were so terrified of losing her again.

No one moved or made a sound as they watched the credits, all trying to collect themselves and too stunned to do anything but just sit. Those who had seen the Execution LIVE couldn't believe how incredibly accurate it was down to the tiniest unforgettable detail and seeing it again now was just as traumatizing as it was then.

A clip of Vaughn's first encounter with Irina and then Sydney's taken from the security camera's footage and adding to the haunting reality of this all was heartbreaking and new tears formed as these images once again solidified the reality of what everyone had just seen. Many moments from Irina's time in the cell flashed through after the others: Jack's first encounter and then more with Sydney, Irina's confused facial expressions were hard to miss when they started taking her away after Madagascar and then Sydney's watching her sleep when she returned.

Photos of smiling faces with Francie, Sydney and Will came on next from the restaurant's opening caused more tears to fall. Irina slamming her fist into the glass when Sydney wouldn't listen to her about Kashmir and then Jack placing the necklace on her neck that could blow her head off. More photos of Will, Francie and Sydney laughing and playing mini-golf after the trip to Kashmir courtesy of Vaughn.

The heartbreaking moment of Sydney and Irina's hug on the roof ending at gunpoint brought forth another wave of tears. The laughter returned with Jack walking into the wall when he approached Irina about working with him on the Kane case and it was clear on the real footage he was certainly panicking over his overwhelming feelings taking over for her.

Marshall injecting her with the famous tracker brought out a lot of snickers and tears when she said her goodbye to Sydney and placed her hand on the glass. Sydney sitting alone in her cell looking at the earrings after Irina escaped followed and then the heart-stopping clip of surveillance footage taken by Marshall in Moscow of Irina ripping her hand up with the knife and all hell breaking loose after when she stabbed Cuvee and shot Sloane falling and getting shot herself and the CIA flying through the window just after ending with Jack firing at Irina and knocking her into the hallway and out of sight, leaving them all gasping to see the real footage.

Sydney confronting Julian in his cell came after and then the first sonogram image of Lena's feet made everyone smile. The photos of Katya and Irina in the garden when they were little and then after Moscow came on next and then the photo of Irina that began Irina's real KGB file and all the photos after from that file that held significance in the film.

The famous sonogram photo of Lena from Rio, the images from Irina's films with her mother, Sydney and Jack and then the image of Irina and Sydney sleeping that Katya had captured in taking a nap together for the first time since Sydney was six. The photos of Vaughn with his grandmother on their first meeting as well as Sydney and Irina in the garden came after.

The security footage of Sloane rushing into Irina's bedroom and taking her after he knocked out Katya and Dmitri, and then of Irina entering the CIA again, very pregnant this time in her chains. Her pacing her cell with Marshall outside the glass when her water broke and then Lena's birth with the doctor holding the wailing tiny baby up, all inside a CIA cell.

The images of Irina lying on her cell bunk inspecting Lena or feeding brought more tears especially when they came to take her away and she was backed into the corner with Kendall reaching out to her. It then flashed to her goodbye with Katya and then Jack, Sydney and Lena with hands pressed to the glass, which was truly gut wrenching seeing the 'real moment.'

And it ended with Irina walking towards the Execution Chamber and then being strapped down. The last images were of the flashing red light and the doctor shocking her body with the paddles, fading out as her body hit the table.

_'This film is dedicated to the memory of Francie Calfo, Emily Sloane and Diane Dixon. We love you, and we miss you.'_

Pictures of the three woman were placed side by side above the dedication, each a slideshow of photos from various ages in their lives and with various people, friends, children, etc and ended with a gorgeous photograph of each taken at the end of their lives just before they were killed.

By the time they each got home, they were completely exhausted and worn out. The images of Irina's Execution had been the last thing they saw and now were at the forefront of everyone's mind. No one could sleep.

"Jack," Irina spoke in the darkness after an hour had passed, lying on her side facing away from her husband and staring at the photos on her nightstand, "Are you awake?" She asked knowing he was, unable to sleep as well.

"Yeah," He answered her quietly, having been staring at the rise and fall of her body with each breath for the last hour thanking God for each one.

"Come on." She sat up, and reached behind her, pulling on his hand with a smile.

Jack followed without asking her where they were going to, willing to follow her anywhere at this moment. She led him down the stairs and removed the afghan from the back of the sofa before quietly heading outside onto the front porch. She sat in the middle and Jack smiled as he assumed the position on the end, turning and helping her to sit back against him, wrapping his arms around her and the blanket as they began to rock slowly on the swing staring out into the darkness.

"That was a hell of a movie…" Jack laid his cheek against her head, swallowing hard and playing with her fingers under the blanket over her baby belly, "You were shot four times, strangled, stabbed and died twice…almost a third." He shook his head thinking about it all and wrapped his other arm around her shoulders more tightly, placing a kiss to her hair.

"But I'm still here." Irina replied softly with a tiny smile, knowing his fears were warranted in losing her.

"Thankfully." Jack sighed and then smiled, feeling Nadia kick his palm.

They sat for a few minutes in silence before he spoke again, "My eyes and heart already feel like they are on fire and that I've been gutted several times over…I can't believe we have to watch it another two times yet."

"I know…me too." She snuggled back against him, her head was pounding from all the crying and her eyes she was certain were swollen and puffy feeling like they had glass in them, "Katya's birthday is the day after the last premiere in St. Petersburg…I think we need to do something really fun and spectacular after all this angst. What do you think?"

"I think, I love you. That's what I think." He turned her face just enough with his fingers to kiss her, "No, I don't think…I know." He smiled, whispering against her lips and kissing her again.

* * *

St. Petersburg, Russia- Two Days Later

When the Moscow premiere finished they all boarded the plane for the short flight and headed home to St. Petersburg for the night.

Jack and Irina had just begun to settle in when they heard the familiar knock on their door.

"Yes, Sweetheart…Come in." Irina smiled at Sydney when she came through the door and then immediately frowned seeing her daughter's tears.

"Hey," Sydney sniffled, embarrassed before she even asked the question and bounced softly on the balls of her feet, shifting her weight and running her hand in a circle over her belly, "I uh…can't sleep and-" She didn't even finish speaking before Irina smiled and flipped back the covers, patting the space beside her.

Sydney didn't hesitate and headed straight towards the bed with a smile.

"I'll go make you some warm milk." Jack smiled softly, knowing that always made her fall asleep when she was little and scared off the monsters. He quickly got out of bed and kissed her head as he let her climb in on his side.

His eyes met Irina's and they both shared a knowing smile that in this moment they were both seeing their grown pregnant daughter as the same little girl.

"Thank you, Daddy." Sydney sniffled, snuggling in and Jack felt his heart skip every time she called him that.

Irina leaned back against the pillows on her headboard and wrapped Sydney into her arms lying beside her, with Sydney's head tucked against her chin. She wiped Sydney's tears and just held her.

"I can't get the images out of my head. I just can't sleep and needed to be close to you, to remind myself you are okay. You're still with us." Sydney sniffled again, taking some solace in the fact that she could hear her mother's large heart beating beneath her ear pressed against her chest.

"It's ok, Sweetheart." Irina sighed with a soft smile, already knowing why her daughter couldn't sleep.

"I didn't sleep at all the first night. I almost drove over to the house to sleep with you." Sydney admitted, lifting her head back a little readjusting.

"You should have," Irina smiled, running her fingers through Sydney's long hair, "Your father and I didn't sleep at all either though. We spent the night on porch swing." She could feel Sydney's smile against her chest.

"Vaughn and I ended up playing Monopoly all night and Sophia and Eric came over at five and we all made breakfast." Sydney was absentmindedly tracing the scar down the middle of her mother's chest from the Open Heart Surgery; feeling the tiny bumps under the skin where the wire held her ribs together, "Apparently, no one could sleep."

"Is Michael sleeping now?" Irina asked softly conscious of the significance of where Sydney was tracing her scar.

"No." Sydney shook her head softly, suddenly snuggling in further and wrapping her arm over her mother's torso. "He can't sleep either but he said I should come ask to sleep with you if I had the chance so…here I am." She giggled softly, "I feel like such a weenie." She shook head again and smiled when her mother laughed beneath her.

"A weenie? I don't think you're a _weenie_ for wanting to sleep with me, Sweetheart." Irina kissed the top of Sydney's head.

"Is there room for two more?" Katya asked from the doorway holding her daughter's hand with a smile, "We can't sleep."

"Of course." Irina smiled, her heartstrings tugging when she and Sydney slid over in the enormous bed to make room for Katya and Sophia.

"Sophia crawled in bed with us," Katya smiled as her daughter snuggled into her in the same way Sydney had with Irina, "And then there we lay, both wide awake."

"Vaughn came looking to play _Monopoly_ with Eric and said you were in here sleeping," Sophia smiled across her mother's chest to Sydney, "So we figured we might as well join you two after lying in bed all of ten minutes."

"They're playing _Monopoly_?" Irina asked with a soft smile and heartfelt tone that the 'boys' couldn't sleep either.

"Yeah and when I left Marshall was joining them and Carrie was snuggling up in the chair to watch them." Sophia added while her own hand reached over her mother and wrapped gently around Irina's wrist with a smile, needing her own contact and confirmation her aunt was ok and alive, haunted by the horrific images of her Execution.

"Well, I feel like we're missing the party." Irina smiled, her eyes glittering with the slightest of tears hearing how the film's end was still affecting everyone. "Why don't you go get them, Sweetheart?" She turned her hand under Sophia's grip and clasped her fingers instead looking her beautiful niece in the eyes, "If everyone is awake, we might as well be awake together."

Sophia's eyes lit with a smile and she immediately bolted upright in bed, leaning over to kiss Irina and then her mother before tearing out of the room with excitement over the idea.

"Hey boys," Sophia popped her head in through the door with a raging smile, spotting that her brother and Madeleine had joined the Monopoly party as well. "You can either sit here and pass around play money or you can join us in Aunt Rina's room. She told me to come get you." She winked and her smile grew seeing the sparkle in her fiancé's eyes with surprise, "Get something to sleep with. We're having a Slumber Party with the Tsar."

"What about Jack?" Vaughn asked cautiously thinking about his father-in-law's reaction to having a 'slumber party' in his bedroom.

"What about Jack?" Weiss shook his head with a smile, jumping up and already grabbing pillows and blankets off his bed, "When the Tsar requests your presence in her bed chambers you don't turn the offer down!" He smiled and laughed in a devilish tone.

"You are way too infatuated with her." Vaughn shook his head smiling and stealing a pillow from Weiss's grasp.

"And you're not sleeping because?" Weiss cocked his eyebrow at Vaughn with a smirk, "Who are you kidding? She's in all your thoughts right now too and that's why you can't sleep or any of the rest of us. Personally, I'd rather see her alive and smiling at my expense right now then keep flashing back to the horrible images of her Execution."

"True." Vaughn admitted softly with a smile.

Weiss snatched the pillow back with a grin, "Get your own pillow you thief! I don't want you drooling on mine!"

"They wash the sheets everyday." Vaughn laughed at Weiss when the man tripped on the corner of his blanket while they were walking into the hallway, stopping along the way at people's rooms to gather pillows and blankets.

"I don't care! You have your own and this one smells like my Wild Thing." Weiss smiled and then winked at his gorgeous fiancée.

"Hmm…good point." Vaughn laughed and grabbed the pillow Sydney had been using and inhaled her scent.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked her son as she passed the troop of people with blankets and pillows, a curious smile on her face and Jennifer and Lena's who were walking with her and staying in the palace during the premieres on Irina's invitation; having become good friends since starting on this journey together in telling Irina's life story.

"Since no one can sleep we're all congregating in Jack and Irina's room," Vaughn smiled at his mother, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

"You're more then welcome to join us," Sophia smiled brightly, "Carrie is sleeping on of the couches since she's pregnant," She reached over with the same smile and placed her hand on her friend's baby, "but the other is yours if you want it." She looked at Lena whose arm was still in an immobilizer and ribs still healing from her accident. "It's nice and s-oft." Sophia tempted her with a smile and singsong voice.

"I'm in." Jennifer laughed and smiled happily, giggling with Sophia at how much fun this sounded like. _How many people could really say they had a slumber party with the Tsar of Imperial Russia, after all? And these people were a tremendous amount of fun and laughs._

Bella and Lena exchanged glances and then smiled, taking each other's hand, "We'll meet you there." They giggled slightly shaking their heads and headed off to gather their own things.

"So I picked up a few extras." Sophia smiled and bounced back into Irina's room and then into the bed.

Irina's eyes danced with laughter when the group started filing in through the doorway with smiles and laughing carrying all their pillows and blankets.

"Thanks for the invite, Your Imperial Majesty," Weiss bowed with a smile and then laughed as the other's began making their beds on the floor rugs and Marshall helped Carrie to make hers on the couch by the windows.

"What the-" Jack's eyes bugged when he walked into his room carrying the cup of milk and saw all the bodies now laying everywhere as people tried to get settled.

"We're going to need more milk, Sweetheart." Irina snickered with laughing eyes, her glance scanning the bodies along with Jack, "The kids can't sleep."

"Mmmm yeah, warm milk," Weiss smiled from across the room where he was setting up camp on the floor near Irina's side of the bed with Marshall. "Thanks, Panama."

Jack glared at him as he handed Sydney the cup of milk and saw the 'please Honey' look in Irina's dancing eyes with a smile, seeing she was loving this and shook his head with a sigh, spun on his heel and headed back downstairs for more warm milk for the 'children.'

When he got back to the kitchen his face was lit with a full grin even as he grumbled and found Julian and Ash sitting at the table.

"Can't sleep?" Jack asked as he got the milk out of the refrigerator and turned to see the sad look in his son's eyes, "Why don't you go upstairs and sleep with your mother. Sydney's already there as is everyone else." Seeing Julian's eyes widen in surprise and shock Jack couldn't help but laugh, "You better go now and stake a claim for someplace to sleep before everyone gets settled. Would you like some warm milk, too?"

"Warm milk?" Julian made a disgusted face even as he and Ash stood to leave, "Why would I want to drink warm milk?" He'd never heard of such a thing.

"It helps you to fall asleep." Jack answered with a soft smile, remembering his son had a childhood unlike any other child where parents give you things like 'warm milk' when you can't sleep.

"I think I will pass on that little delicious delicacy." Julian smirked and wrapped his fingers with Ash's.

"Will you grab Lena before you head in please?" Jack nodded with a smile towards the monitors showing his youngest bouncing around happily in her crib unable to sleep apparently like everyone else.

"Good evening, everyone." Bella smiled, carrying her blankets and pillows as well as Lena's when the two arrived followed by Judy whom they picked up and Irina's eyes went wide with a smile. "I hope it's all right but Sophia invited us to join this little soiree as we couldn't sleep either and Judy just had to come along, too." She smiled speaking in her beautiful French accent.

"No, of course I don't mind." Irina smiled, leaning over to kiss Bella's cheek when the woman leaned over to greet her and then kiss Sydney. She kissed Lena in the same fashion when the woman greeted her and then knit her brows in concern, "What about your injuries? I don't want you on the floor."

Her motherly concern even for her, made the actress smile, "It's alright. I'm not sleeping on the floor but that wonderfully lovely sofa over there." She nodded in the direction where Bella and Vaughn were already making her bed for the night. "The last slumber party I was at was my daughter's." She laughed shaking her head in thinking about how extremely odd, yet not, it was to be having one with this fierce but loving woman who was one continuous surprise after another. "She'll be so sad to hear I had one with real princes and princesses." She winked with a smile as she looked from Irina to all the Grand Duchesses and Dukes and even her own royal in Madeleine the Princess of Sweden settling in next to Sergei.

"We'll just have to have another one then, and invite the little Darling to attend." Katya's smile raged.

"Mama," Julian called out softly wide eyed with Lena in the crook of his arm and dragging some blankets with him while Ash carried the pillows, his bewildered eyes scanning the people as well.

"Julian," Irina smiled happy that he was here too and about to have someone go get him if he didn't show up. "I'm glad you're here, come." She motioned for him to come closer and reached for Lena.

The baby giggled and bounced with delight at all the people with smiling faces around her as she snuggled in between Sydney and her mother.

There didn't seem to be anymore floor space really without leaving some kind of path and Irina saw the look of almost sadness flash through his eyes and she couldn't help but smile.

"You can sleep with Ash at the end of the bed if you'd like." She motioned to the end of the enormous Imperial sized bed, which had enough room across its bottom to be as wide as a twin bed at the very least.

His tight-lipped smile raged in his eyes even if he tried to hold it back while he and Ash settled in across the bottom with him at the very end and spooning up behind her.

"Yay! It's the Milkman!" Weiss snickered again seeing Jack coming through the door carrying a tray with a large picture of warm milk and glasses, "And he brought cookies too! Jack, you 'da man!" He laughed taking one of each from Jack, "Thank you." He smiled, loving to tease this man now knowing he wouldn't kill him.

Jack blinked again and took a double take seeing the beautiful woman playing his wife onscreen was also in attendance, laughing and smiling as she talked to Carrie across the room and Jennifer was on the floor in front of her. Bella too, was making a nice bed for herself near his side of the bed.

The only people missing from this party now were Dmitri, Mikhail, Marcelo, Talia, the Devlins, Kendall, Gustav and Silvia.

"Oh no…where's Dad going to sleep?" Sydney looked around with wide-eyes and then couldn't help but smile and snicker seeing there was no more room in the bed and nowhere even on the floor. They'd forgotten about him.

"I can sleep in one of the many other rooms in this house." Jack smiled softly and set the tray down on the coffee table that had been moved to the side from the sitting area in their room.

"Daddy, no!" Sydney's voice was almost a whine and Jack could have sworn he saw her lip begin to pout. "You have to stay in here with us."

"I guess that chair will be fine." Jack smiled at her, brushing his fingers across her cheek and nodding towards the chair opposite of the one Marshall was in already.

When everyone was finally settled and the laughter and chattering had died down as well, they all lay quietly for a moment in the dark having said their 'goodnights' before Weiss broke the silence.

"So Syd, does this feel like camping, too?" Weiss snickered making fun of her love of camping and remembering their trip on the sub and through the Libyan Desert and how 'everything' was like camping. Everyone burst into laughter again remembering or having heard the story and Sydney burned bright red in the darkness.

**_*Fix You*_**

Irina awoke in the middle of the night with the incessant kicking of the babies and had temporarily forgotten the sleeping arrangements when she looked down at her baby Lena at the end of the bed, spooned up against Ash and sucking her thumb with Julian spooned up behind her.

Her heart smiled the tears built as she carefully moved into a sitting position and looked down at Sydney sleeping beside her, Katya to the other. On the floor next to the bed, Vaughn was curled up and her breath caught when she saw Bella and Mikhail, spooned up together not far behind him.

Lena was on the couch at the far end of the room with Jennifer and Judy in front of her and then Sergei and Madeleine on the floor in between Lena and the bed. Eric was on the floor beside Sophia and Marcelo had come in as well, sleeping beside him.

Carrie was on the couch just beyond that and she smiled widely through her tears seeing Marshall's legs tossed over the arm of the chair and his head flopped back over the other with mouth open as he slept in the chair; Jack was sitting up but leaning off to the side in his chair and looked impossibly cute in the moonlight streaming in through the windows and illuminating the room in cast of blue.

The tears started to fall and she covered her mouth with her fingers trying to stop the sob as she looked over all the bodies around her of the people who loved her…wanted to be near her and couldn't sleep without doing so on this night.

For so much of her life she had felt so alone and unloved and her breath caught again, when she thought about finally being _home_, finally having family and surrounded by them both feeling more loved than she could ever have imagined in this moment.

Jack had woken and immediately saw Irina sitting up in bed, the tears streaming down her face as she looked around at all the people surrounding her…people who loved her and the tiniest of smiles on her lips and in her eyes that glittered and his own began to tear.

The image of her looking around this very same empty room and feeling so very alone in the film shown earlier in the evening a stark contrast to the jam packed one before her now.

She sensed his presence and her eyes flashed to his, holding their gaze in the darkness and he smiled at her knowing exactly what she was feeling and thinking in this moment.

"You're home, My Love." Jack whispered across the distance and saw the new wave of tears fall from under her eyes as she closed them with her own quiet sob, "And we all love you." He added and her eyes flashed open again with a wide smile and sniffling.

"I love you, Jack." She whispered back, loving the man who understood her heart so well now that they were whole.

"I love you, Irina." He whispered back again with his own smile, "Now get some sleep."

**_*O Fortuna/Gravity of Love*_**

"What are you doing?" Sophia whispered when she awoke feeling her fiancé sneaking back into their bed with her on the spot of the floor amidst the bodies of everyone else still sleeping. She saw the twinkle in his eyes and the way he licked his lips smiling, he was up to something.

His smile was raging as he whipped out a tiny black remote from his pajama pants pocket, twirling it in his fingers choking on his laughter as he sat on his knees facing the bed.

"Payback." He mouthed with a wink as he hit _Play_.

The room instantly exploded with the first climactic moment of "The Gravity of Love" and everyone bolted upright and awake in bed.

"All hail the creation of Lena!" Weiss bowed in a 'not-worthy' fashion towards the bed and Jack and Irina and everyone else added a, "Here! Here!" bursting out laughing as the song roared through the room while Weiss kept up his not-worthy bowing all the way to the floor while Vaughn, Sergei, Madeleine, Sophia, Julian, Carrie, Will and Marshall all began bowing in worship as well and Jack threw pillow after pillow off the bed at Weiss for starting it.

Eventually, Katya and Sydney joined in as well while the song continued to play and before long, even Judy, Bella, Marcelo, Mikhail, Jennifer, and Lena, who'd played the part in all her naked glory was bowing to them in the dramatic display exploding in laughter.

"What's going on?" Kendall stood wide eyed in his robe at the door way with Dmitri, Silvia, Gustav, the Devlins and Talia having all been shot out of bed awake with the eruption of music blaring through the entire palace.

"We're worshipping them in the creation of Lena! The ultimate 'Love Child." Weiss yelled over the thunderous laughter and roaring music. His answer only caused another explosion of laughter and this time with the addition of those in the doorway.

"_Le-na! Le-na! Le-na!_" Weiss began chanting in sync with his bows and everyone else joined in with him. Lena started bouncing on the bed, clapping with glee and a wide smile hearing her name and seeing everyone laughing only making everyone laugh that much harder and finally Jack broke into a full laugh shaking his head with a wide smile and eyes locking with his beautiful wife's.

**_*Never Grow Old*_**

Irina sat on her knees on a towel beside the tub with a smile having just set Lena into the warm water and bubbles, loving the sound of her daughter's tiny laughter and seeing her bright smile at the simple things in life.

"Ball, Mama, ball." Lena held up her little green bathtub ball shaking her head confidently that she knew what it was speaking in her tiny Russian voice and Irina laughed.

"That's right. What about this?" Irina held up the waterproof book with letters from the Cyrillic alphabet and pictures in its spongy pages.

"Book." Lena replied again in Russian with a smile.

"That's right! Good girl!" Irina smiled widely, and clapped with her daughter at her success.

Lena was bouncing and splashing her hands across the top of the water happily at being right and then giggling uncontrollably seeing her mother's wide eyes at getting her wet.

"You got Mama all wet, Snuggle Bug." Irina held her hands up with an animated face that Lena loved and the little girl laughed again.

"She's like Sydney," Jack smiled from far across the large room watching his girls, "You have to wear a raincoat when bathing her." He laughed remembering the whirling dervish Sydney had been spinning around and around in the tub and emptying all the water onto her parents and the floor.

"Why do you think I haven't gotten ready yet?" Irina threw him her saucy eyebrow and smile as he approached and she soaped up a washcloth to wash Lena.

"Because you're, 'oh so smart,' Mama." Jack smiled, kneeling down beside her and kissing her lips with one hand to the side of her face, using this thumb to wipe a small clump of bubbles from her cheek with a laugh. "So I learned something pretty funny about our daughter last night while I was bathing her," Jack smiled, digging around in the bubbles through Lena's toys to find what he wanted.

"What's that?" Irina asked curiously seeing the mischievousness in his eyes.

"Peanut, what's this?" Jack spoke to her in English holding up a tiny rubber toy of an octopus.

"Pussy." Lena replied in English and Irina choked on her laughter.

"Jack, that's terrible!" She swatted him with her wet hand even though she was laughing.

"It's not my fault that's how she pronounces it." Jack snickered, trying not to break out laughing with her and Lena narrowed her eyebrows watching them both closely trying to figure out what was so funny.

"That's right, Peanut, that's an octopus and what's this?" He held up a frog from the same toy collection.

"Fucky." Lena smiled, reaching for the frog, "Fucky." She wiggled and giggled and Irina had to turn her face away, biting her lip to keep from roaring with laughter.

"That's right, my beautiful little Peanut. That's a froggy." Jack smiled, turning red and snorting from his own held in laughter.

"Fucky." Lena repeated and then giggled splashing around. "Fucky!" She squealed loudly seeing it was making her parents happy.

"Oh God," Irina couldn't stop laughing now, "That's terrible and terribly funny at the same time."

"I know." Jack smiled shaking his head and agreeing, trying to stop his laughter seeing it was making Lena repeat the word over and over with their reactions.

"Snuggle Bug, what's this?" Irina switched her back to Russia, holding up the ball again trying to get her off that 'Fucky' track.

Lena narrowed her eyebrows as if to say, 'I already told you' but answered anyway in perfect Russian, "Ball."

"She is so intelligent." Jack shook his head with a smile and awe that his daughter was already capable of switching so easily back and forth between languages. "And oh so beautiful." He leaned over kissing her little head with pride, "We really do make beautiful babies." He turned his smile towards his wife, leaning over to kiss her again.

"Yes, we do." Irina's hand slid over her belly as the other twirled in Lena's curls smiling against his kiss. "We better get going or we'll be late for the premiere. Now shoo, Daddy! Stop distracting us."

She playfully pushed him back and Lena started chanting, "Shoo, Dad-dy! Shoo!"

"That's lovely, Sweetheart, thank you for teaching her to tell me to get lost at such a young age. I thought that in her teenage years I should expect it but now I get it at only a year old. Wonderful." Jack shook his head trying to not smile and kissed them both again and was gone.

"I love your Daddy." Irina whispered with a smile as she started washing Lena, looking into her big brown eyes, "Oh, do I love your Daddy." She smiled happily thinking about how much.

Everyone was in the Throne Room all dressed up and about to leave for the premiere when Weiss came flying into the living room with Marshall both with radiant smiles and out of breath in clear excitement.

"Ho-ly shit!" Weiss squealed picking up Sophia and twirling her around, "We're going to the Oscars, baby!"

"What?" Sophia asked with a gasp, "You got the nominations?" She asked breathless realizing it was morning in America now and the announcements would have been made.

"Yes!" Weiss nodded enthusiastically, kissing her rapidly. "You know how _Titanic_ holds the record for most nominations in a single Academy Awards with fourteen and eleven wins?"

"Yes…" Sydney smiled with pounding heart waiting as breathless as everyone else.

"Blew that ship right out of the water!" Weiss hooted, picking up Sophia again, twirling her around wildly and setting her back down as he moved rapidly around the room and group reading rapidly from the paper in his hand. "Films One and Two each for: Sound Editing, Film Editing, Sound Mixing, Costume Design, Cinematography, Makeup, Visual Effects, Art Direction, Original Music Score, Directing…" He whirled around to Irina out of breath with a smile, "And all five nominations for Best Original Song! Three written by you, my beautiful Empress including, 'I Surrender." He gave her a slight bow with a raging smile and Jack linked his fingers with Irina's, a smile lighting his face at the thought that she had just added Oscar Nominee to her fabulously long list of incredible accomplishments with words written for him. "Oh, but that's hardly it as you're also nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay, twice; and Best Picture twice! Everyone loves your story!" He shouted in glee amongst the sea of happy teary faces who were stunned.

"And last but certainly not least," he shook his head in awe, "All five nominations in Actress in a Supporting Role with the our gorgeously talented Lena reigning in two in that category alone, both for Part One!" He bowed to the beautiful astonished actress with an enormous smile while her husband who'd arrived this morning pulled her to him, kissing her temple with pride when tears flushed her eyes, "But that's not it, as she picked up her third nomination of these Academy Awards, for Actress in a Leading Role for Part Two!" He whistled loudly while everyone else began clapping for her, still in shock at the enormity of it all. "We just seriously cleaned house, people! In every category including Actor! Forty-five nominations, people…yes, that's right…forty-five combined nominations and that is _only_ the first two films!" He threw his head back in mad laughter, "That's not even counting the latest brilliant installment and the now infamous Panama reunion which by the way-" He took the new _People_ magazine from Marshall, "Not only is the Empress looking smokin' hot on the cover," He flashed her a brilliant smile holding up the magazine for all to see the photo of Irina from the Los Angeles premiere.

"But you aren't going to believe this," His smile raged as he began to read as Jack and Irina turned slightly to face each other, eyes locking of their own freewill, "and I quote, '_Voted the Number One Hottest Love Scene in Cinematic History displayed in all its unbelievably spectacular glory as they indeed show us all, the 'Gravity of Love' in the reunion scene on a steamy mission in Panama between Jack and Irina, a couple who will most certainly go down in history as two of the Greatest Lovers the world has ever known possibly rivaling if not overtaking the famed Romeo and Juliet in their breathtaking love story._" He stopped reading with a mega-watt smile and tears pooling in his eyes, pointing with both fingers towards the couple, who were staring madly into each other's eyes as if they were the only ones in the room, and Weiss screaming, "Yes baby! They're talking about you two!"

And everyone else stood with a thunderous round of applause, whistles and tears raining down when Jack reached up to cup her face, thumbing away a falling tear and Irina tilted her head slightly before Jack leaned in the rest of the way capturing her lips in a sweet kiss.

This wasn't just a set of films, but a life…their story, their life, their love… and having the couple standing before them now in this spectacular Imperial Palace, looking gorgeous dressed up in their regalia, and every bit the part of a 'Happily Ever After' fairy tale.

"I am so happy this was the last premiere for this film. I don't know if I could handle watching the Execution scene again and not have my eyes start bleeding-" Weiss's gaze immediately turned to horrified remembering the very vivid scene in the Execution where Irina's eyes in fact were bleeding. "I'm so sorry. I just meant that my heart couldn't take anymore watching you dying and-"

"It's ok." She placed her hand on his chest over his heart with a soft smile, "I know what you meant and it's a touching thought. Thank you." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek making him blush.

"I think another slumber party is in order. Especially since its Aunt Katya's birthday in another hour." Sydney smiled, feeling the tiny pricks of tears already in her eyes just thinking about witnessing her mother's death once again. Her arm snaked through Irina's and pulled her into her side smiling at her aunt who was giving her one in kind. She had to sleep next to her mother again this night with the images of her death plaguing her mind and knew her aunt well enough now to know, she did too.

"Really?" Irina looked at her with a surprised and delighted smile at the thought.

"Oh yes." Came a chorus of resounding voices of those who'd attended the last and making everyone laugh.

"Well, ok then." Irina cupped the underside of Sydney's cheek pulling her head towards her lips and kissing her daughter on the temple, "But we have to watch something funny before going to bed…something to make us all laugh and relieve this somber mood."

"I vote for watching a frozen fish packed fiancé." Sophia smiled at Weiss and everyone laughed.

"I think that sounds like an excellent plan but first, I'm going to hit the restroom with my Snuggle Bug and then we'll go." She smiled brightly at the group gathered, taking Lena from Jack and setting her on the floor, to walk beside her.

"Are you feeling ok?" Jack asked with a hint of concern seeing her wince slightly putting their little girl on the ground and grabbing the side of her belly.

"Just tired," She smiled back as Lena wrapped her tiny fingers around one of Irina's and started pulling on her hand to 'go.' "They've been moving around like crazy the last hour or so…kicking pretty hard. I think they're rapidly running out of room and are fed up with the accommodations. I have no idea how I'm going to make it another month." She smiled with a little laugh, running her free hand over her belly and earning a small laugh from the others. "I'll just be a minute." She kissed the corner of his mouth and snickered shaking her head when she heard the small chorus of 'awes.'

"Mama, go!" Lena squealed with determination pulling on Irina's finger eager to walk anywhere with her Mama after being asleep the last three hours she was fully energized and ready to go. "Mama!"

"Ok, ok…Mama's coming!" Irina smiled down at her beautiful little baby girl looking up at her with adorably dark bright eyes and everyone else laughed as the two walked off hand in hand with Lena stopping just a few feet away to admire her tiny black Mary Jane shoes and then bending over, squatting on her haunches to inspect her mother's high heels pointing at their matching black color.

"Yes, they're the same." Irina smiled in a soothing voice, nodding her head 'yes' and Lena nodded hers too with a smile.

"Oh God, they're adorable." Laura Bush shook her head with a smile watching as Lena once again pointed from her shoes to her mother's comparing.

"They are so much the same," Dmitri shook his head in wonder with a happy smile to see Irina delighting in the small things in life again with her little girl, like something as simple and new to Lena as the comparison of shoes, "I can't help but look at Lena at times, and see Irina at the same age." He glanced at Jack also wearing the same admiring smile as mother and daughter finally resumed on their way, once again hand in hand across the long marble floor now empty of moviegoers towards their destination.

"So beautiful, intelligent… and inquisitive about everything in her world." Talia smiled with a laugh remembering as well.

"That outfit you made for Lena is just beautiful, Talia." Ann smiled and everyone's gaze went back to Lena's tiny form bouncing happily beside her Mama.

Talia had made Lena a matching top and knickers stopping just below her tiny knees from crushed evergreen colored velvet. The rest of her little legs were covered in tiny white tights and ending with her 'very fascinating Mary Jane shoes that Sydney had bought for her.

"She looks absolutely precious…and that sweater." Ann turned her gaze to Jack shaking her head with a big smile looking at the tiny white knitted sweater he had hanging over his arm that Lena wore over it.

"The sweater was actually Sydney's." Jack smiled at his daughter beside him, holding up the teeny-tiny button down sweater while everyone 'awed' at it cuteness.

"That my mother made for her." Katya divulged with a hint of sadness in her voice even through her smile and caught the surprised eyes of many including Jack's and Sydney's. "She started making it the night the letter came from Irina saying she was pregnant. Mama said she, 'knew it in her heart, Rina was having a girl.' That she could feel it having passed on part of her heart, to this new baby." She reached over and squeezed Sydney's hand with a smile. "She wanted to wrap you up in her love…and since she couldn't hold you in her arms, a sweater made with her love was the next best thing." She laughed softly as more then a few had new tears in their eyes, especially Sydney, who turned her gaze back to where her mother and sister were just now disappearing behind the corner.

Jack looked at the tiny sweater knitted so beautifully and carefully in his hands. The delicate but strong nature of the sweater was like that of the Romanov-Derevko women he thought. He'd never asked her where the sweater came from when she first brought Sydney down the stairs in it for church one Sunday morning just before her first birthday.

He also remembered, the countless times he'd find them asleep on the couch or in their bed, with Sydney wearing this sweater and Irina's arms wrapped around her as they slept… 'wrapping her up in her loving arms.'

Those images, this sweater, suddenly had a lot more meaning to them and he knew, why Irina had kept it in her Hope Chest after Sydney out grew it, and why she'd brought it out again for Lena to wear, so that she too, could feel the loving embrace of her grandmother who would never get to hold her in her arms.

"Oooh…" Irina blew out through pursed lips as she felt an extremely hard kick coming from Nicholas and then smiled at Lena sitting on the beautiful sink counter in front of her, swinging her little legs and babbling incessantly, but ceasing the moment Irina put her hand on her stomach and blew out again. "Your brother is not happy about something."

"Be-be." Lena put her tiny hands on Irina's belly with a bright look of wonder on her face, having felt the babies moving inside Irina now many times. "Be-be?"

"Yes," Irina smiled, "The babies are inside Mama's tummy, that's right." She nodded her head and felt another sharp series of kicks from them both, stealing her breath. "They are quite rambunctious tonight." Her smile resumed as she reached for Lena, "Let's go find Daddy and get something to eat for dinner. Maybe that will calm them down."

Lena nodded once with a determined Derevko eyebrow and started to wiggle off the counter on her own.

"Whoa their, Houdini…let Mama help you down." Irina laughed softly at Lena's independence and determination and slipped her hands around Lena to help guide her to the floor.

Just before Lena's feet hit the floor Irina felt another sharp pain rip through her abdomen, this time it was not a kick.

**__****_*The End*_**

"_Ahhhh_," She gasped in pain as another and then another surged through her with crippling force and stealing her breath completely.

Irina tried to calm her breathing and took quick pants of breath while Lena stared at her with a curious gaze to see her Mama hunching over.

"Shit!" She cursed in Russian through clenched teeth to fight off the pain as another horrendous spasm rip through her and brought her to her knees, her hands gripping the edge of the counter and resting her forehead there as she fought to stay calm.

Her heart was thundering in her ears and she fought the urge to cry knowing something was not right and going terribly wrong.

"No, no, no, no, no…" The river of tears finally broke as her stomach muscles cringed again so violently her belly shook and Irina felt the instant rush of warm liquid. This was like no other labor pain she'd ever experienced and she fought the urge to scream seeing Lena's wide, scared eyes staring at her when another and then another raged through her.

"Oh God, no…" She whispered in panic with a strangled cry when she looked down at the growing puddle she was now kneeling in and horrified to find it bright red blood instead of amniotic fluid.

The pain so violently intense ripping through her now and feeling the babies kicking desperately inside her she could hardly move as she tried to stand. She was able to get to her feet and leaning over the counter when another tidal wave gripped her and her abdominal muscles clenched intensely bringing her back down to her knees with a strangled cry and another rush of the bright red blood to stain the white marble floor around her.

She knew there was no way she was going to be able to walk and fear gripped at her intensely when she saw the pool around her growing and reached down to find it flowing from her body in steady stream.

"Ow-wy." Lena sat on her haunches once more, reaching for the puddle of red now flowing around her tiny feet and pointing to the blood, recognizing what that was now and Irina grasped at her arm, stopping her and scaring Lena who now saw the river of tears coming from her mother's eyes and the 'ow-wy.'

"Lena, go get Daddy. Go get Daddy!" She held onto Lena's tiny arm with her blood soaked fingers feeling as though she was being ripped apart from the inside out and knew she needed help and fast. "Lena…go get-_ahhh_-" another pain ripped through her and she cringed, turning her face into her arm as if trying to hide from the pain, "Go get Daddy, Lena! Go! Mama has a bad… ouch-y…I need Daddy! Help Mama…go get Daddy, Lena!" Irina pleaded with her daughter hoping she understood as she nodded towards the entrance to the bathroom, "Go!" She pushed Lena slightly away from her, and Lena was now crying hard and trying to reach for Irina across the puddle of blood scared to death as her mother held her back. "Go, baby, please!"

Lena was crying and fighting hard to try to reach Irina and finally turned, running for the entrance on tiny legs, crying, "Dad-dy! Dad-dy!" and Irina let out a small sigh of relief in that at least she was heading towards her father.

"Dad-dy! Dad-dy!" The group heard a tiny cry before they saw Lena running towards them with her tiny legs, crying and alone…something that was immediately startling, as Irina never let the child out of her sight or go anywhere alone. "Dad-dy!" She cried again and Jack felt the instant panic grip his heart and started walking towards her across the long and wide entrance to the theatre, breaking into a run when she said, "Mama ow-wy! Mama ow-wy!"

And he saw the bright red stain on her arm and the little red footprints across the white marble floor she was leaving in her wake. He swooped her up just as she jump into his arms and almost as quickly she tried to get down and away from him, pulling on his hand crying and babbling, "Mama, Dad-dy…Mama mama! Ow-wy!"

"Oh God!" Sydney gasped, running her hand quickly over her sister's arm and the bright red stickiness smear, "Its blood! But it's not hers!"

She couldn't see any wounds and looked horrified at her father.

Jack grabbed Lena and started running towards the direction Lena came, none of them having any idea what happened. Their immediate thoughts: that an assassin had gotten through security and to Irina.

"Irina!" Jack started yelling for her even before he rounded the corner into the massive Imperial Russian style bathroom, flying around the little waiting room of sofas and past the mirrors and into the main part where his heart all but stopped seeing her on the floor, surrounded by a giant puddle of blood and head resting against the counter with eyes closed.

"Irina!" He gasped, running over and sliding on his knees until he reached her, Lena was crying hysterically in his arms as he scanned Irina's body looking for the entry wound and finding none but the bottom half of her black dress and legs soaked, the way she was gripping the side of her belly…he knew there was no attack.

"What's wrong? Irina, what's happening?" He panicked with fear running through his veins at lightening pace.

"It's the babies…something's wron- _aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh_!" Her words were cut off with a strangled scream as she gripped her stomach with both hands.

Marcelo jumped over Jack and to the side of Irina immediately as everyone filled the room, in shock at what they saw.

"Rina, are you cramping? Does it feel like you're in labor?" He asked rapidly with his hands running over her belly and then touching the blood and sliding it in his fingers, noticing the color and texture. "Sergei, call the Medi-vac." He ordered his son calmly and Sergei nodded jumping into action while Sydney took Lena from their father to free his hands; tears of fear pouring down her face.

"It feels like I'm being ripped in half from the inside out-" Irina spoke calmly in a soft voice, through clenched teeth trying not to scare her baby further.

That thought was immediately gone when a pain so intense ripped across her belly she let loose with a deep cry that sounded like someone was indeed ripping her apart.

"_Jack!_" She reached out her bloody hand to grasp at his with fearful tears blurring her vision with concern for their babies. "I'm scared." She whispered linking her hand around his neck and holding him to her as close as she could with their foreheads pressed together as she fought to control her breathing.

Hearing Irina Derevko admit she was scared sent a tsunami of fear through everyone in the room, as she was always the strong one. To hear that fear, see it in her eyes sent them all into another wave of panic at what was happening.

Marcelo's hands were still on Irina's stomach and he felt the convulsing and rapid kicking of both babies, the shudder in her muscles and the surge in blood with every contraction.

"What the hell is going on?" Jack asked Marcelo panicked while Alexei made his way through the back of the crowd as quickly as he could, having just heard what was going on.

"Placenta Abruption?" Alexei looked into Marcelo's eyes seeking confirmation of what he could see and feared.

Marcelo nodded in response and Irina simultaneously strangled another scream in her throat as another pain tore through her; her fingers gripping the back of Jack's neck so hard he was certain she broke the skin with her nails.

"What does that mean?" Sydney gasped in confusion, looking desperately around terrified.

"The placenta is tearing away from the inside of the uterus." Marcelo answered calmly and stood rapidly, putting his arm under Irina's and motioning for Jack to help him help her up, "We have to move her quickly."

"Oh God," Sydney cried and Katya's hand reached for hers gripping it so tightly it was almost painful. "What's happening? What does this mean?"

**_*Injection*_**

"It means that instead of the blood passing between your mother and the twins through the umbilical cords and the placenta... with the placenta tearing away… they're bleeding out instead." Marcelo tried to keep his voice calm and move Irina as gingerly as possible though she was almost dead weight with the pain so crippling she couldn't help them at all.

"They?" Katya cried with a hiccup.

"Yes, they. All three of them." Marcelo answered with fear in his eyes that only Katya would see and notice. Fear she rarely saw unless it was bad, "We must go now. We can't wait."

Jack immediately swooped his arm under Irina's legs and picked her up, holding her tightly and everyone stepped back quickly to let them through.

"Hang in there, My Love," he whispered resting his cheek against her head where she was burying her face in the crook of his neck. He could feel the hot tears on his skin and the trembling coursing through her, "It's going to be okay."

The people who'd been at the film, some still gathered outside now were held back by security as the helicopter landed and created a scene, most gasping and then breaking into instant tears and sobbing when they saw Jack carrying their beautiful Tsar in his arms, something obviously terribly wrong seeing them both covered in her blood and covering the front of his normally impeccable white Imperial uniform jacket.

"Can't lose them, Jack." Irina whispered with a teary voice into his neck choking back a sob and another strangled cry with her hand holding tightly to her belly where the pain was. "No matter what… can't lose them," Her voice quivered and she gripped his hand, looking him dead in the eye when they settled into the seat in the helo, Irina still in his arms and Alexei and Marcelo beside them. Everyone else was already piling into the limos led by the police and security with sirens screaming into the night and clearing the way to the hospital.

Jack was startled to hear her say it, see the look in her eyes and knew what she was talking about, what she was really saying. He stared blankly at her with searching eyes noticing the faint blue ring starting to form around her mouth ever, paling skin.

"Promise me, Jonathan," Irina gasped crying. "No matter what… to me…save them." Her eyes poured their dark depths into his, knowing she couldn't survive losing another child, certainly not two and she would gladly give her life for theirs. Her worst fears and the nagging feeling she had now coming true, "Please… whatever it takes… Don't lose them."

"We're not losing them," Jack pulled her up closer to him, kissing her forehead holding her close, "And I'm not losing you. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay, Irina." He chanted to himself and her, hoping to convince them both and not wanting to think of any alternative.

Losing any of them was not an option he was willing to even process right now.

The moment the other's arrived, Katya was whisked off to the blood labs to start donating knowing her sister was going to be needing it and the others were escorted to their great surprise to the teaching observation deck and room overlooking the O.R. by the nurse, where they were going to be able to see the C-section and delivery of the babies. Sydney had argued with rampant tears that she did not want to leave her parents alone, wanting to be near and not allowed in the Operating Room with too many bodies all ready, the observation deck was the closest thing.

"They stopped moving." Irina cried, her hand sweeping over her naked belly lying on the table with Jack beside her head rapidly trying to put on scrubs with the help of a nurse as they began to prep her in the Operating Room. The kicking had grown less and less on the way to the hospital and had completely ceased now. "_Alexei! Get them out!"_ She cried out in fear, her head whipping to the side and peering around the nurse hooking her up to an IV to see the older man who was like another father, prepping his instruments. Her body, which had been their sanctuary and protective barrier, now rapidly becoming what she feared their tomb.

"We're waiting for the anesthesiologist, Child," Alexei held his arms out as the nurse tied his gown on, trying to stay calm and speak calmly to Irina to waylay her fears. "I have to put you out all the way, Irina. There is no time to do just an epidural."

"No!" She cried in a gasp, shaking her head adamantly, "I don't want you to put me out! Alexei, no! I can't miss it. Just do it!"

"Child, I have to put you out. There is no time-" Alexei stood over her with sad eyes knowing she didn't want to miss the birth of her children.

"No! I'm not missing it. Give me locals but keep me awake! I have to hear them, I have to see them… I have to know they're okay." She pleaded with him as one nurse began prepping her belly with antiseptic. "Please Alexei! Get them out now!" She begged, fighting to stay awake with the blood loss and terrified her babies were dying inside of her.

"Child, even with the locals the pain-" He shook his head horrified at the thought.

"Just do it! I can handle the pain but I must see them… I have to hear them! You can put me out after, but please! Please, I need to know they're ok." She begged with a fading voice wanting to at least see them once in case she didn't make it out of this, "I have to see them… at least once…"

Jack's eyes darted from hers' to Alexei's horrified to think she could die, to hear her say that… feel that and frozen in that reality.

Alexei looked from Irina's pleading eyes and then up to Jack; nodding at him slowly to agree with his wife's wishes; knowing her fears were founded and wanting to give her this last wish if it was indeed, her last.

"All right. But as soon as they're out, you have to go under." Alexei nodded and reached for a syringe and filled it with a simple localized numbing agent.

"How long to get them out?" Jack found his voice though it cracked. His concern over how quickly they could get the babies out as well as how long it was that Irina was going to have to be in pain before they put her all the way out and started saving her life.

"I can have them both out in under a minute." Alexei flicked the syringe moving rapidly as time was of the essence and slid it into the pulsating skin and muscles of Irina's abdomen. The local would do very little to stop the immense pain Irina was about to experience but it would numb it slightly.

The anesthesiologist followed by Marcelo and a wide-eyed Sergei, came through the doors seconds later and Marcelo immediately handed three bags of Katya's blood to the nurse who rapidly began hooking them up to Irina.

To Jack's surprise, Ryan came through the doors just after them, taking residence on the opposite side of Irina's head, giving them both a small smile and Irina's hand a brief squeeze of support.

"I'm here to monitor you." He spoke quietly continuing to hold Irina's hand when she wouldn't let it go, squeezing his just as hard as Jack's and desperate to hang on.

It made sense he was there having been the doctor who knew Irina's damage from the Execution extensively and knew what to watch and look for.

Two Neo-Natal Specialists and a team of nurses followed them wheeling in specialized incubators for premature births and Irina's heart picked up speed and sent her monitor into a beeping frenzy with fear.

"Try to calm down, Irina. The faster your heart pumps the more blood you lose," Marcelo instructed her with a quiet voice taking his position opposite of Alexei with Sergei by his side.

A nurse pushed Jack slightly out of the way as she secured an oxygen tube over Irina's ears and under her nose with an encouraging smile and a nod.

Irina gripped Jack's hand hard and closed her eyes, concentrating on her breathing and trying to slow her heart rate with the techniques she learned in meditation.

"Okay, here we go. Give her something to bite on." Alexei's eyes flashed from Irina's to the nurse beside him and she rapidly flew to the corner of the room and retrieved a wooden tongue de-presser.

"Oh my God…" Sydney's breath left in a rush when they heard Alexei over the intercom and then saw the nurse place the wooden stick in her mother's mouth, watching as Irina bit down on it in preparation and knew it was going to be painful; terrified her mother could die.

"I can't watch this." Bella shook her head, turning into Mikhail's chest with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh, Sweet Jeezus…" Kendall gasped, going ghostly pale realizing what they were about to do and why, feeling himself getting queasy; Judy gripping his hand tightly with tears slipping down her cheeks. "She has to be the strongest woman… person," He shook his head, "I've ever met in my life." His' own eyes filling with tears thinking that this may be the only chance Irina had to see her babies. The surreal reality of the situation not quite sinking in yet as it seemed like they were in a dream… having just watched the films ending in Irina's Execution with her dying and now this.

"Alright, Irina." Alexei placed the cold metal scalpel over the scar Jack had made across her stomach when he'd shot her and began to cut into her; the scar that had almost taken life, now giving it.

Jack's eyes immediately darting from the incision to Irina's eyes; the only sign that she was in any kind of pain at all was the fierceness at which she bit the wooden stick and the rampant tears running from her eyes into her hair and the blue cap around it, her hand gripping so hard into Jack's she was drawing blood and shaking. He quickly knelt beside her, his mouth to her ear as Alexei repositioned the scalpel to make the second cut through her abdominal muscles.

Jack's hand held tightly around hers and his other fingers wiping at the trail of tears falling over her temple. "Katya told us about the sweater. Sydney's sweater that your Mother made for her." He tried to distract her as much as he could and felt the tears burning his eyes when she whimpered and a wash of tears surged forth feeling them cutting through her muscles. "I always knew you loved that sweater and now I know why. It was your mother's… a connection to her. A way for our baby to feel her love."

"Almost there, Irina." Marcelo spoke calmly and Katya joined them above in the room, to wait and watch.

"What's happening?" She asked having no idea what was going on and what she'd missed while donating blood.

"They're taking the babies now. Without giving Irina any anesthesia." Dmitri answered with tears falling silently down his cheeks.

"Why?" Katya asked in horror with eyes flashing back and forth between her sister below to Dmitri for explanation.

"There is no time." Dmitri answered quietly and it was then that Katya understood.

Irina and the babies were dying.

"I think it's beautiful, the meaning behind that sweater." Jack smiled, concentrating on Irina and blinking back tears raining down his face, "And I can't wait to see Nadia wear it after Lena." He kissed her temple, talking about the future and giving her something to focus on. "And Anya, too… I suppose we could put it on Nicholas as well though he might not think it so funny when he's sixteen and we whip out pictures of him in a little girls' sweater." He chuckled softly through his tears and placed his hand over the top of Irina's head, nuzzling his face next to hers. "Hang in there, My Love… its almost over." He whispered through pained tears seeing how much pain she was in physically and emotionally. "You're the strongest person I've ever known, My Love… you can do this."

"And there's his head." Alexei announced, reaching in gently and pulling the baby's head through the opening while Marcelo used his hands to spread the incision in her skin and muscles wider. "Suction." He rapidly demanded and the nurse quickly stuck a suctioning tube into the baby's mouth before they pulled him all the way out of Irina.

"Holy shit!" Weiss gasped with wide-eyes of disbelief seeing them literally pulling a 'baby' from inside her. Something that he'd never witnessed and knew made logical sense but still shook his head in disbelief there was a baby in there.

"My god," Kendall gasped at the scene below them, scrubbing his hand over his face and feeling nauseous at the sight of Irina cut open and bleeding, biting on a stick with rampant tears from the pain while her children were literally being pulled from her body.

"Gently now… we don't want to bruise him." Alexei calmly wrapped his fingers around Nicholas' neck and wedged his hand inside Irina to grip the baby carefully under the arm and rocked him back and forth out of the opening, pulling him free. "And there he is, The Grand Duke Nicholas. He's a good size for being early." He smiled behind his mask as the nurses quickly began wiping the drenching red blood from his little body. He carefully held the baby up so Irina could see, the baby let out his first tiny cry, sending a surge or tears through his parents and those watching above.

Alexei rapidly passed the baby to Sergei who ever so carefully moved the baby to the area where the neo-natal doctors and team were waiting. They rapidly began to work on him at a fevered rate.

"Oh," Sydney gasped with fresh tears coming to her eyes, one hand over her mouth in awe at seeing her brother for the first time and the other running nervous circles over her own baby moving around inside her.

_'Why isn't he crying?_' Jack cried internally, with tears running down his face unable to see his son with the people surrounding him and wondering why his baby wasn't wailing like Sydney and Lena both had for minutes after their birth.

"All right let's bring the Duchess into the light as well." Alexei immediately reached back in, making another slice to access her and then repeated the same thing, pulled her head clear, suctioned it out and then pulled her free. "And then there were two!" He smiled, holding Nadia up so Irina could see her tiny slippery red body and she let out her own little cry.

She was immediately rushed off to her own area.

"Two beautiful babies, My Child." Alexei smiled at Irina who quickly spit out the stick in her mouth.

"Why aren't… they crying?" She asked in voice so lacking in energy it was a mere whisper, the fear inside her only growing at not hearing them crying and having flashes of little Jack's birth and death in her mind.

"You have to go out now, Irina." Alexei nodded at the anesthesiologist who immediately flipped the switch on the IV and began putting her under.

"What's wrong… with them?" She asked through a small sob even as her vision faded.

"They're okay, Child, don't worry… we're taking good care of them. You did a good job, Irina." Alexei spoke in a hushed tone and her eyes closed.

"Alexei," Ryan motioned with his head towards Irina's rapidly falling stats with alarm flashing wildly through his eyes, "She's bleeding out and her glucose levels are incredibly low."

"They both need blood transfusions." The head Neo-Natal Specialist whipped his head back to Alexei speaking of the twins. "Now." He added with extreme concern sliding into his voice and sending another wave of panic through all of them holding their breath already. "He needs the Clotting Factor immediately and her blood volume is also extremely low."

"Irina's the only one with his specific blood type and factor." Marcelo stuffed more gauze into the area he and Alexei were now working on trying to stop the massive hemorrhaging going on inside Irina's uterus. "But she can't stand to lose any at all right now." His eyes flashed up to Alexei's.

"Lena." Alexei's eyes flashed up to the observation room window. "She is the same as Irina." His eyes flashed down to Irina whose heartbeat was rapidly dropping.

"Lena?" Jack asked in raspy shaken voice not wanting to put one of his children in danger to help the other and torn, "Why not Katya? She gives to Irina?"

"Yes, but Katya doesn't have the same factor or platelets that Irina has… that is what he needs. Lena has what he needs, Jack. It will only be a little. He's tiny, he won't need much. I wouldn't suggest it if I thought it would put her in real danger but if we don't do something…"

"Ok… yes. Ok." Jack nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat and kissing the hand of Irina's he held, noticing it was growing colder. "What about Nadia?" His eyes flashed up again, realizing his other daughter was also in danger and feeling overwhelmed as a father and husband in this moment about what to do, whom to be with and feeling helpless.

"Sydney is the same but she can't because she's pregnant. It's too dangerous." Alexei shook his head 'no' working feverishly.

"Sophia is the same." Marcelo looked up knowing his daughter and his new niece shared the same blood type.

The Romanovs were part of the unique in the world in that their blood type didn't fit in with the majority, but instead, the minority of people who had very specific and rare blood types and those like Irina, Nicholas and Lena, could only receive from the same family of blood.

"Get her." Alexei urged rapidly continuing to work furiously at the blood flowing from Irina's abdomen.

"_Alexei!"_ Ryan called out rapidly with a tension filled voice, motioning with his eyes towards the monitors taking drastic plunges. A fury of beeps started going off immediately after, "She's crashing!" He shouted and grabbed the cardiac paddles from the nurse while another nurse shoved Jack back and out of the way.

"No!" Sydney cried in the arms of her husband watching above as they zapped her mother with the violent images of her Execution shown just an hour ago flashing with the reality again in front of her.

"I need Katya in here now!" Alexei held up his blood soaked arms, pulling back and watching as Ryan sent another bolt of electricity through Irina. His nurse nodded and ran to go get her.

Ann watching her husband in action for the first time in her life as a doctor as he worked feverishly to bring Irina back to life with endless tears and mouth held open in a silent scream of disbelief that this was actually happening.

"Clear!" Ryan shouted again, sending another bolt of electricity through Irina's heart. "Come on!" He gritted his teeth in anger waiting for any beeps to register and nothing. "Again! Clear!"

Jack was standing back helplessly watching as everything seemed to move in slow motion, his eyes flashing back and forth from the twins and Irina in horrid realization that in the span of seconds he could very well lose all three of them.

Katya heard Alexei's call through the intercom and immediately bolted for the stairs, not waiting for them to come and get her. She ran with blinding tears ready to be bled dry if need be to save her sister's life and chanting, "No, no, no," all the way down speaking to herself, "You can't die now, Rina… Not now. Not on my birthday and that of your beautiful babies… not ever and certainly not like this God-damnit!" Her own mind too was flashing with the recently revisited images of Moscow's aftermath and the heart wrenching images of Irina dying on the Execution table that ended the film.

Sophia was on her heels, sobbing all the way down with Weiss beside her, both of them hearing Katya's talking to herself and realizing that she was verbalizing aloud all their worst fears in this moment.


	33. Chapter 33

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Time **_**by Hans Zimmer from Inception Soundtrack**_**, Whisper of a Thrill **_**by Thomas Newman from Meet Joe Black Soundtrack**_**, Romeo & Juliet Theme **_**from Andre Rieu**_**, Walkaway by **_**Thomas Newman from Meet Joe Black Soundtrack**_**, Somewhere Over The Rainbow **_**by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. **

* * *

THIRTY-THREE

o

***Time***

"We've got Sinus Rhythm." Ryan stepped back with a pounding heart, watching Irina's heart monitor starting beeping with renewed signs of life.

The sweat was visible on Ryan's brow and his own chest heaving from panic and Jack surged forward, grasping at her hand still outstretched on the table's arm and wrapping his other arm around her head, a steady stream of tears and tearing down his mask to expose his face.

"Oh God, Irina! Hang on! You can't leave me! You can't leave them! They need their mother… please, My Love, please! Hang on!" He cried kissing her forehead and then pressing his to hers.

"We're moving them." The Neo-natal doctor announced and the teams immediately began moving the babies' incubators out of the room behind him.

"Where are you taking them?" Jack asked in a blind panic looking up, torn about what to do.

"Upstairs where we can work on them better." The doctor nodded and then held the door for the first incubator passing quickly.

"What?" Jack asked rapidly not understanding, his world rapidly crashing around him.

"They're premature and they've lost a lot of blood. Neither are breathing on their own and we're better equipped to work on them upstairs." The doctor gave him an apologetic look and rushed out the door after the babies.

"Go with them, Jack." Alexei instructed without looking up from where he was frantically trying to stem the blood flow from Irina; his own heart pounding at trying to pull off another miracle. Things were going down hill for Irina and he knew Jack needed to be out of the room if she crashed again and they couldn't pull her back. The man already looked like he was about to have a heart attack and their children needed at least one parent alive to care for them. "_Go!_ Go with the twins… they need you." He ordered Jack in a stern fatherly tone, trying to break through the shock he saw on Jack's face.

"But Irina-" Jack looked down rapidly at her ghostly white face and watched as the nurse pushed him aside yet again frantically replacing the oxygen tube on Irina with a full blown oxygen mask.

"We're not leaving her." Marcelo flashed his eyes to his brother-in-law knowing how much this man loved this woman, how much they all loved her. "Go, Jack… your children need you and Irina would be upset if you leave them alone in this." He knew he wasn't playing fairly with the guilt trip but it was a dire situation and he didn't want Jack to witness Irina's death in such a horrific fashion if she crashed again.

"I'll stay right here with her, Uncle." Sergei stepped in beside him with tears in his eyes from watching her die on the table before him with her heart stopping and Ryan's efforts to revive her.

Jack nodded and quickly leaned over, kissing Irina's lips and wiping away his tears that fell on her cheeks.

"I'll come right back, My Love." He whispered in Russian and then quickly kissed her again. He rushed out the door behind a nurse who would take him upstairs where he'd finally get to 'see' his babies up close for the first time.

Katya was whisked immediately into the O.R. where they began a direct line once more from her to Irina.

"I can't lose her, Marcelo." Katya cried wiping blindly at her tears when she leaned back against the bed they'd placed horizontally above Irina's so that they could still work on either side of her sister while she gave blood.

"You won't, Mi Amore. You won't." He promised, looking up to catch her gaze and holding it fast, hoping that was true and not willing to tell her anything differently at the moment.

"She's stopped breathing. We've got to vent her." Ryan pulled the oxygen mask off Irina and Katya's eyes widened with rushing tears watching as the nurse beside him handed him the instruments and he opened Irina's mouth and began threading the tube down her throat that would breathe for her before her heart stopped again.

Julian held Lena nervously on his lap tightly with both arms, while the others tried to keep her calm by smiling and talking to her as if everything were normal while the nurse rapidly prepared to draw her blood. They wouldn't even need a machine, only a large syringe to draw it. An enormously large syringe that had all their eyes bulging when she brought it near Lena's tiny arm.

"You have to hold it more tightly for me." The nurse looked at Julian when Lena felt the first prick on her skin and immediately began screaming, jerking her arm away.

"I'm scared I will break her arm again or bruise her if I hold it that tightly." He looked helplessly at the tiny arm in his hand and remembered it broken from the torture by Cuvee.

"Then I need to tape it down." The nurse set the syringe aside and grabbed the roll of tape.

"Tape her arm to mine, not the table so I can continue to hold her close. She's already frightened, I do not wish to make it worse." He quickly unbuttoned his sleeve and shoved it up his arm, laying it flat against the arm of the chair.

Sydney blinked hard through tear filled eyes while Lena continued to scream and was amazed and yet wasn't, that their 'brother' had thought of this as she held Lena's tiny arm flat against his forearm and the nurse quickly taped them together. Julian's other arm went securely around Lena's little chest and body as she bounced in his lap, desperately trying to get away and screaming, "Mama!" over and over in a heart breaking fashion.

When the needle pierced her tiny skin, they all cried with her while the nurse drew her blood. Lena reaching with her one free arm desperately towards Sydney kneeling in front of them crying, "Nee-nee," over and over now, begging her sister to save her from this pain and ripping Sydney's heart out as she kissed the tiny fist reaching for her.

"It's almost over, Sweetie. I'm so sorry." Sydney cried trying to calm her.

"There. All done." The nurse quickly withdrew the syringe and handed it off to a runner who was immediately taking it to the baby in the next room.

Sydney immediately flew to work carefully ripping off the tape and Lena practically leaped into her arms, wrapping her own tiny ones around Sydney's neck so tightly hanging on she was practically choking her. "It's okay, baby… I'm so sorry." She kissed her sister's little head over and over; rocking her back and forth while Lena buried her face into Sydney's neck.

Sophia was next and the same thing was done to her, as not a lot of her blood was needed for Nadia and they were able to coax Lena's hold to lessen enabling them to put a bandage on her arm by showing them that Sophia got one too.

"Where's Dad?" Sydney followed Julian, Weiss, Ash, Sophia and Vaughn out into the hallway. Her hand running over Lena's back trying to calm her terrified sister down after such a traumatic night.

"He's with the twins." Julian nodded his head towards the glass opposite of them where Jack was standing a few feet back from both areas where doctors and nurses were furiously working to hook up both babies to wires and tubes. His face looked completely ashen and drained of color in a shocked daze.

"Now what do we do?" Vaughn sighed heavily, kissing Sydney's head and wrapping one arm around her shoulders while running his hand with hers down Lena's back.

"We sit… and wait." Sydney sighed through her own tears, torn looking through the glass.

Just before they closed Nicholas's incubator, Jack was finally able to see him for the first time; really see him and his heart was torn between love and elation and fear and sadness. His teeny tiny little form so pale from blood loss and hooked up to so many tubes and wires they seemed to be coming from everywhere.

As they were closing the glass he opened his eyes and looked straight at Jack with the most intense little gaze that brought instant tears to his father's eyes. Their eyes were locked for only a few seconds before Nicholas closed them again and went back to sleep with sedation and exhaustion but Jack felt as though time had stood still staring into the eyes of his son and seeing his mother; praying to God they all made it through this.

"God, this part sucks!" Weiss jumped to his feet frustrated after six hours in the waiting room. Every couch, chair, wall, and even, floor space were occupied by someone.

They were all exhausted anyway, from the rollercoaster of emotions they'd gone through watching the film before any of this happened but now, they were beat, running purely on nervous adrenaline and heavy amounts of coffee and tea to keep them awake.

"This was not the slumber party I thought we'd be having this evening." Weiss poured another cup of coffee. "We should be laughing at my horror of waking up amidst frozen Cod or singing the 'Gravity of Love'… not this." He shook his head sadly and Sophia got up to hug him from behind, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his neck knowing how upset he was and feeling it too. "Just this morning we were all laying around in her room laughing and having a good time and now… it's just not fair. I just don't understand. It's not fair. She's already been through enough." He inhaled a sob tinged with anger as Sophia held him more tightly, crying as well.

"Sydney, do you want me to hold her for awhile?" Bella asked, motioning towards Lena sleeping over Sydney's chest, with her little legs carefully over each side of Sydney's own baby belly and yellow bear clutched in her tiny arm.

"No… thank you," Sydney nuzzled Lena's soft hair, her eyes burning from so much crying and her head pounding furiously. "I just need her right now." She held her little sister that much tighter, feeling her tiny heart beating furiously inside her chest against her own and holding on to the one connection she could in this moment as flashes of Ryan zapping her mother back to life flitted through her mind.

**_*Whisper of a Thrill*_**

"I understand." Bella smiled running her hand down the back of her daughter-in-law's head in a comforting gesture, knowing exactly why Sydney needed Lena in her arms.

"Sergei!" Sophia saw her exhausted looking brother in jade green scrubs coming through the door. "What's happening?"

"We've just moved her to Post-Op in the Intensive Care Unit." He ran his hand through his hair and kissed Madeleine's forehead when she hugged him, seeing he needed it. "Her condition is still Critical," He swallowed hard and a tear slipped from his eye as he heard and saw the others in the room doing the same. "The twins have been upgraded from Critical to Serious." He gave a faint smile as a collective sigh of relief went up for that tiny bit of good news. "We didn't have to do a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding." He added with another relieved smile.

"Oh thank God," Laura batted at new tears with a relieved smile. "How's your mother?"

"She's unconscious from the low blood volume but she's Stable and should wake up in a few hours after she's rested." He gave his sister an assured smile. "She's in the bed next to Aunt Rina, again." He added, as the eerie image of the sisters in this position from the film flashed through all of their minds having just witnessed it tonight again in ironic fashion.

"Has my dad been to see my mom yet?" Sydney shifted blinking back more tears through eyes that felt raw knowing her father must be going crazy at not being able to be by her mother's side when she was still in Critical Condition.

"Not yet. He doesn't want to leave the twins alone which is another reason I came up here." Sergei gave her a small smile; "He wanted me to ask you and Julian to come sit with them for a little while so he could go see your mother."

"Yes, of course." Sydney immediately began to shift Lena's tiny sleeping form to Bella beside her. "How are they?" She asked nervously about her tiny siblings.

"They're doing really well now, actually." He smiled and it grew immensely thinking about them, "They are absolutely beautiful… really. So perfect, they took my breath away to see them even amongst all the tubes and wires."

Sydney's face lit into a big smile and she quickly kissed Vaughn and headed towards the Neo-natal Intensive Care Units with Julian behind her.

The minute they were out the door she turned slightly, reaching out and grabbing Julian's hand, looking him in the eye and surprising them both slightly. She knew he was just as scared and nervous as she was going in. Neither said anything to acknowledge the moment, just walked rapidly hand in hand down the hall and through the doors.

"Dad," Sydney called out softly entering from behind him.

Jack took notice of their held hands and his heart smiled briefly as he stood to greet them thinking about how happy that image would make Irina. He hugged Sydney first, tightly and blinking back more tears before pulling Julian in for a hug as well after he released Sydney.

"How are they doing?" Sydney asked, daring to peek over his shoulder to see the tiny little bodies not quite visible at this distance inside their plastic replacement wombs.

"Much better thankfully." Jack sighed heavily looking like he'd been run over repeatedly with a truck.

"That's what Sergei said." Sydney smiled, running her hand over Jack's cheek in a move that reminded him of Irina. "He said Mom is doing much better as well and that you want to go see her now…" She was desperate to see her as well.

"Yes, I do, but first… I'd like to introduce you two to the latest additions to our family," He smiled his first real genuine smile since before this ordeal began as he turned and walked softly between the two incubators. "On the left we have Nadia," He smiled down at his tiny new daughter who looked so much like Sydney when she was born it was almost eerie. "Sydney, if you ever wanted to know exactly what you looked like when you were born, this is it." His smile raged, "She looks just like you. I can't wait to see the look on your mother's face when she sees that as well… She's absolutely beautiful." He continued to marvel her, already head over heels in love with his youngest. "They've had to cover her eyes since putting her under the light for her jaundice, so it's hard to actually get to look at her but… she's beautiful." Jack smiled, "Just like you."

Sydney's mouth dropped slightly open with his reveal and she stepped forward, tears immediately surging through her eyes at looking at her sister for the first time and Julian stepped in right behind her, both placing their hands over the glass and marveling at the tiny baby sleeping inside.

"And on the right, we have your brother, Nicholas." His eyes beamed with pride as he looked down at his tiny new son, "Who looks just… like your mother." He shook his head in wonder with new tears.

"Oh, he's so cute!" Sydney awed, with new tears raining down, "I don't know, Dad, I think he looks an awful lot like you, too." She smiled recognizing their father's features as well.

"He had his eyes open for a little bit earlier," He smiled remembering the intense first gaze, "Definitely your mother's eyes."

"Did you get to hold them?" Sydney asked quickly, aching to do so herself, and losing her smile when her father nodded solemnly, 'no.'

"Touch them at least?" She asked hopefully.

"Nadia… for a little while and I'm sure they'll let you, too… but not Nicholas." Jack swallowed hard, looking at his new son and getting choked up, "They don't want take the chance just yet until the new blood has a chance to settle in. He's already showing finger print bruises just from the delivery." His eyes zoned in on the little bruises around Nicholas's chest in the exact shape of Alexei's fingers, "Which I'm sure your mother will not be thrilled about and I'm really hoping, go away or aren't too severe by the time she finally gets to see them."

"So he is always going to bruise this easily?" Julian asked through his own scratchy voice, finding the instant love and protectiveness for his little brother already roaring to the surface with such a force it surprised him. There was no jealousy, only concern.

"Not always, only when he's low on the Clotting Factor." Jack tried to assure them both with his brain suddenly short-circuiting to concern of his little savior, twice over in this instance, first by saving her mother and then little brother, "How's Lena? Where is she?"

"She's with everyone else in the Waiting Room, sleeping finally." Sydney sighed, running her hand over the glass. "She was absolutely terrified, Dad. I can only imagine what her poor little mind was thinking at seeing Mom like that and then the chaos going on… to be held down and have her blood drawn. I could swear she was having flashbacks to the last time as ridiculous as that might sound." She shook her head and wiped at the new tears, "Just the look in her eyes, like she remembered that pain and being scared, the way she kept calling for Mom. She was shaking until she finally cried herself to sleep."

Jack's heart clenched painfully in his chest for his baby girl, remembering vividly the trauma she went through with Cuvee and how she was with Irina in the weeks and months that followed…crying whenever her mother put her down, clinging to her contact… something she still did, afraid to let Irina out of her sight for long.

"I'll go get her after I see your mother and be there when Lena wakes up." He nodded and stepped forward, kissing Sydney's forehead as he cupped her face. "Thank you, for just everything… both of you." He did the same to Julian without thinking and Sydney saw her brother's surprise to be kissed by Jack for the first time, in such a fatherly way, the tears forming in Julian's eyes that he was trying to blink back. "If anything changes-"

"We'll come get you." Sydney smiled, knowing what he was going to say already. "Give Mom a kiss for me please… and tell her I'll come in to see her as soon as I'm able." She knew her mother was unconscious and would be for hours but she also knew, that most often people in unconscious states still knew what was going on around them, still heard voices and felt people near them and she wanted to give her any reassurance she could, desperately wishing she could be in there with her now but knowing she was needed here. "And thank her… and you," She kissed his cheek again, "For two more adorable siblings… and tell her to stop scaring me to death." She held in small sob, trying to give a smile and shook her head, "Or I'm going to make her live in giant bubble from now on." She added getting small laughs from both her father and Julian.

"I concur with Sydney on this, please give Mama my regards as well… and a kiss with the same message attached." Julian smiled shyly, having been through a lot with Irina but after witnessing her 'dying' three times in one night, two in a recreation onscreen and once in real-time color, his heart could take no more.

"I will." Jack smiled and took one quick glance at both babies before leaving them alone.

"I've just got to touch her." Sydney looked at Nadia for a minute before deciding she couldn't wait any longer then that. "Nurse," She turned calling softly to the woman now looking at her baby brother's vitals, checking them and charting them.

"Yes, Your Highness?" She smiled shyly in the face of the Imperial's who were dressed up immaculately from the premiere and looking very regal still wearing part of their Imperial regalia, already feeling extremely nervous about the extraordinary responsibility in caring for the Tsar's newborn preemies but also deeply honored.

"May we please, touch my sister? Let her know that we're here?" Sydney almost pleaded through her teary smile.

"Of course, Your Highness." The nurse smiled and moved to set her clipboard down, motioning Sydney over to the sanitary station. "What about you, Your Highness?" She turned to ask Julian when Sydney was finishing washing her hands.

"I'll let my sister go first." Julian nodded softy with a smile towards Sydney, "Right now, I'll keep our brother company." He smiled quickly through his nervousness and stepped towards the incubator holding Nicholas. "Hello, Little Brother." He leaned over; one arm draped over the glass and whispered, on eye level, his eyes roving over his tiny form. "I've been waiting to meet you." He broke into a small smile having never seen something so tiny in his life, so perfect. Looking at him now, Julian realized how much fun it was actually going to be, having a little brother. He already adored Lena and knew he would do the same with Nadia… but having a brother, something he'd always wondered about, he knew was going to be different and he was greatly looking forward to it.

Sydney smiled watching Julian inspecting and conversing quietly with Nicholas for a moment before the nurse nodded it was all right to put her hand inside the incubator.

Hesitantly, she ran the back of one finger over Nadia's soft cheek and broke into a full blown smile, kneeling down slightly as Julian had to get a better look into the face of her sister.

"Hello Beautiful." Sydney whispered, seeing what her father was talking about and tearing up as she looked closely at her sister's face, seeing the resemblance from her baby photos already. "Happy Birthday."

* * *

**_*Romeo & Juliet Love Theme #1*_**

Jack waited patiently by the door as the doctors and nurses finished checking on the sisters. His eyes never leaving Irina's face, noting that she was hooked up to a Ventilator and his heart sank heavily knowing how close he'd come to losing her yet again.

"She's improving by the minute, Jack." Alexei smiled coming to stand beside him with Ryan, while Marcelo leaned over kissing his own wife's unconscious lips before joining them outside. "Katya should be waking up at any time and Irina's numbers are continually rising. If her breathing continues to increase on her own, we'll be able to take her off the ventilator by morning."

Jack nodded, finding it difficult to swallow, "Thank you." He grasped each of their hands, blinking back tears. "You saved my 'everything' once again tonight."

"She's a fighter, Jack." Alexei smiled, looking back at Irina, "Always has been. She'll never cease to amaze me. That Child, has always been, from her conception until this moment, a true miracle." His own eyes turned glassy with unshed tears and he clasped Jack's shoulder once more, taking note of his blood stained uniform. "I'll see if I can't find you something to change into." He nodded and Jack thanked them all again.

"Will you tell me if Mio Amore awakes, please?" Marcelo stopped with a smile as they passed, knowing Jack wanted some alone time with his wife.

"Of course." Jack smiled, squeezing Marcelo's hand and then pulling him into a full-blown hug. Both men having felt the panic and fear and now the relief as the storm began passing.

"Now, I'm going to go have a good look at my new beautiful nephew and niece, and then find my own children and hug them tightly." Marcelo smiled, slapping Jack lightly on the back and leaving him.

Jack walked into the dimly lit room, and stopped by Katya's bed side first, with hers being closest to the door and leaned over, kissing the side of her mouth softly and running his hand over her cheek as she slept.

"Thank you." He whispered, kissing her again lightly and thanking her for saving the love of his life yet again. He turned around and pulled the stool up beside Irina's bed, taking hold of her hand and looking over her entire form and how drastically different she already looked without her large baby belly, how it was just gone, so quickly. Staring at her beautiful face and with tears swimming in his eyes he leaned over, kissing the corner of her mouth, then her forehead and rested his on hers', letting go of all the emotion he'd been holding back, and cried, long and hard though mostly silent.

Katya's eyes slowly began to flutter open sometime later and the first thing she could see was the white back of Jack's uniform jacket. Her throat felt dry and rough when she tried to swallow and lay silently on her side watching them for a moment, smiling when she heard parts of what he was reciting from Romeo and Juliet quietly to her sister who was alive to her relief and in the bed beside her. She listened to him for a while longer with the same smile lighting her face and bringing tears to her eyes in awe of their love.

"Is she all right?" She croaked out, surprising Jack who wheeled around with wide-red eyes and gave her a small nod and smile.

"Thanks to you, yes." He didn't release Irina's hand but reached for Katya's with his free one. "Thank you, Katya for saving her life once again."

"My sister saves her own life," She smiled through foggy tearing eyes, "I just give her the means to do it." She ran her thumb over the back of Jack's hand, "How are the twins doing?" Her concern was evident in her voice and eyes.

"Both are holding stable in Serious Condition." He gave her a small smile, "They're absolutely beautiful, Katya." He beamed with pride.

"I don't doubt they are. You and my sister make beautiful 'love' together, Panama Jack." She winked at him with her mind flashing through the scenes from Panama still fresh in her mind and made him chuckle, "I can't wait to see them. They are a fantastic birthday gift."

"I need to go tell your husband you're awake." Jack smiled squeezing her fingers once more, "He wanted to know the moment you woke up."

The hesitation to leave Irina was clear in his eyes as he looked back at her.

"Don't worry, Romeo. I'll keep an eye on your, Juliet." Katya smiled sleepily from her bed, nudging her face against the starch white pillow.

Jack snickered and stood leaning over to kiss Irina once more and then kissed Katya, "Thank you." He whispered again and left.

"Jack, I was just about to come find you." Marcelo came around the corner, "Lena's awake and crying for her Mama," His eyes were sad, "They can't calm her down."

"I'll go now." Jack immediately felt his heart quickening in pace, "Katya just awoke. She's waiting for you." He nodded and livened his pace to reach his baby girl.

* * *

**_*Walkaway*_**

"This gown is absolutely horrid, Rina," Katya moved slowly across the floor, pulling her IV pole with her and holding the back of her gown closed as she went. "Only for you would I wear such a thing." She smiled, looking down at Irina, leaning over and kissing her forehead. "I thought we decided to change these things to something more fashionable and comfortable? Something where people's ass's weren't hanging out the back." She laughed softly to herself, wishing she could hear Irina's laughter too.

She looked at the space beside Irina and sat down on the edge of the bed, picking up her feet and snuggling down in the bed against Irina on her side, one arm she lay carefully over Irina just under her chest and just above her now flattened belly where the row of stitches and staples once again held her sister together. She nuzzled her face against Irina's neck, closing her eyes and letting her own tears fall feeling the beating of her sister's heart beneath her arm and hearing it on the monitors. "I love you, Irina." She pressed her dry lips to Irina's heated flesh. "I can't lose you ever again."

"You won't, Mio Amore." Marcelo leaned against the doorframe with a smile, finding them this way. "I promise you, she's going to be okay." He walked slowly into the room, coming around to her side of the bed and kissing her when she turned her head to meet his lips. "How are you feeling?"

"I have a pounding headache, but I always do after donating blood like this to her." Katya wiped at her stray tears, "Other than that, tired… relieved… anxious for her to wake up." She looked back at Irina, leaning into to kiss her sister's temple.

"I can give you something now for your headache," He ran his fingers through her hair, pushing it behind her ear, "And Irina should awaken sometime tomorrow would be my guess. Her body is exhausted right now. It fought like hell to keep them all alive." He smiled looking down at his sister-in-law, amazed as usual. "Her platelet activity is nothing short of astounding." He didn't need to say 'why,' Katya already knew. Without the wonder that was Irina's abnormalities, she would most certainly have bled to death, and the babies, before they ever left the theatre. "And her tolerance for pain," he shook his head thinking about the caesarian with just locals for pain.

"She endured worse in Kashmir." Katya spoke barely above a whisper, swallowing a sob as she glanced at Irina's profile so close to her face, knowing that is where her sister's immense threshold for enduring physical pain had come from.

"I know, Mio Amore, I'm sorry." Marcelo peppered her face with kisses, feeling badly for bringing up that awful reminder.

"Where's Jack?" She sniffled.

"Lena woke and was crying so he went to get her." Marcelo smiled, brushing his lips once more across her forehead. "You should get some more sleep. Do you want me to help you back to your bed?"

"No, I want to stay here with her for awhile." Katya snuggled in closer to Irina, "And have a nice long chat about how she's going to stop scaring me to death and everyone else with these dangerous liaisons on Death's door step." She said fiercely and Marcelo had to laugh.

"I thought so." He kissed her again, "Just don't be too hard on her, Mio Amore, this one really wasn't her fault. Get some rest." He kissed her again, and laughed before whispering, "Your sexy little behind is quite cute sticking out of this gown... good thing you're facing away from the door."

"Oh stop it!" Katya swatted at him playfully. "I already scolded Irina on that fact."

"I'm sure you have, Mio Amore." Marcelo smiled, retrieving the blanket from her bed and covering her up with it. "Sleep well." He brushed his lips with hers and then against the corner of Irina's mouth before turning the lights down further and closing the door only opened to a crack.

* * *

Jack could hear Lena's cries before he got to the Waiting Room and when he stepped inside the door and her eyes saw him she all but jumped out of Vaughn's arms squealing "Dad-dy!" with fresh tears and ran at him full speed.

"Hey, Peanut." He quickly knelt down to the ground, wrapping her into his arms when she plowed into him, clinging wildly while he tried to calm her down. "It's ok, Baby." He kissed her, whispering into her ear and running his hand over her little back trying to calm her.

"Mama! Mama…" She cried and hiccupped, pulling back and pointing with a tiny finger to his blood stained jacket, "Mama ow-wy! Mama ow-wy!" She cried harder for her mother and began trembling with violent shivers and Jack's eyes flashed in horror, realizing she did remember.

He quickly pulled her back, holding her out to Weiss as she went crazy kicking and screaming reaching for Jack as he rapidly unbuttoned and peeled off the jacket, to get it out of her sight; astonished having never witnessed a reaction from her like this. He quickly threw it to the floor and realized Irina's blood had soaked through his undershirt as well and peeled that off next. Bare-chested he stepped quickly forward gathering her in his arms again and cursing himself for not thinking to take it off or change before he saw her.

"I'm sorry, Peanut. Shhhh." He tried to soothe her and his eyes caught the gaze of the other's who had tears in their eyes seeing and then hearing Lena's reaction, realizing this tiny little girl had been traumatized yet again in her short life. "Mama's okay… Mama's okay." He tried to reassure her.

"Le-La, Mama. Le-La Mama." Lena chanted in English, through hiccupping breaths. "Le-La Mama. Le-La Mama. More Mama. Le-La more… Mama." She tried saying her name and it was clear what she wanted, 'More Mama.'

"I know baby but Mama's sleeping." Jack started pacing the room with her and everyone sat with blurry eyes witnessing this painful exchange between father and an inconsolable daughter as Lena switched her 'more Mama's' to Russian instead, as if she thought he didn't understand what she was saying and then back to trying English again and then in French and Italian; trying all that she could to get him to take her to her Mama.

"She needs to see her." Sophia held back her own cry, watching Lena literally trembling in Jack's arms and clinging to his neck as if he was going to disappear if she let go.

"I know, but I'm scared to take her down there and traumatize her further when she sees Irina hooked up to a ventilator and a hundred other tubes and wires… not to mention her reaction when she tries to wake Irina like normal only this time, her mother won't wake up." Jack spoke in almost a whisper, the pain in his heart showing clearly in his eyes.

"He's right, I think it will only make it worse." Mikhail shook his head sadly worrying about traumatizing the baby further.

"I don't know how it could get much worse here, people! Look at her!" Weiss waved in Lena's direction where she was shaking with tremors and sobbing in a continuous stream of mixing languages, all crying for Irina. He was agitated and upset that they were all helpless to do anything. "I think we're just torturing her further at this point."

Jack really didn't like that idea at all and decided that maybe taking a walk with her would help.

"Come on, Peanut, let's go for a walk." He whispered, holding her tightly.

"I'll try to find you a shirt, Uncle." Sergei followed Jack into the hallway.

**_*Somewhere Over the Rainbow*_**

"Thank you." Jack nodded as Sergei whipped around him and he continued to walk slowly down the hall, humming '_Somewhere Over the Rainbow'_ to her softly, his favorite lullaby for her.

The scene was heartbreaking to everyone he passed in the hallway. The Emperor, shirtless but still in his red Imperial pants from his normally dashing uniform, stained with the Empress's blood, humming to his frantic baby, clinging madly to him as she sobbed for her 'Mama,' and their beloved Tsar.

Vladimir had been apprised of the situation and given a rapid Press Conference to keep the Russian people up-to-date on the Imperial Family's progress. Another candle lit vigil had formed outside the hospital while Irina was in surgery and remained there, with her loyal citizens saying they would stay there in the bitter freezing cold of the dead of winter until she was no longer in Critical Condition and the twins were also out of danger.

As a thank you for the show of support, Jack had blankets, warm biscuits, tea, coffee and hot chocolate distributed to them all from the entire Imperial Family. If they were going to stand out there in the deadly cold, praying for his family, it was the least he could do.

After a shirt change, and another twenty minutes of hoarse, hiccupping sobs, Lena pulled back and grasped Jack's cheeks with her tiny hands, her big dark eyes staring straight into his and pleaded with him in one simple word, "Mama."

That was it, Jack couldn't take anymore and gave in, deciding Weiss was right in that they were just torturing her further by keeping her away from Irina. "Ok Peanut," He cupped her face with one hand, kissing the favorite spot on her little neck they all loved just below her ear, "Let's go see Mama."

Almost instantly, her sobbing stopped though her tremors continued as did her nodding of her head, 'yes', with tiny hands still clutched to Jack's cheek and neck saying "Mama" over and over wanting the confirmation they were indeed going to see her Mama.

He rounded the corner and saw Katya asleep against Irina's side and had to smile at the thought that everyone wanted to be cuddled up next to her, all of them needing that contact after being scared to death of losing her.

"Mama!" Lena cried out, reaching with her little arms towards Irina in the bed and Katya woke hearing her cry.

"Hey…" She greeted them and smile fell seeing Lena's condition.

"She's frantic about seeing Irina." Jack sat carefully on the opposite edge of the bed and held tightly to Lena who was trying to crawl onto Irina.

"I can see that." Katya's brows furrowed and she reached out to stroke her niece's tears away. "Its ok, my Sweet Girl… Mama's okay." She tried to calm her too. "Mama's sleeping."

"Mama!" Lena cried desperately grabbing at Irina trying to touch her and Jack moved up on the bed, and slowly let go of Lena a little at a time.

Both of their hearts almost broke when she immediately lay her little torso on Irina's chest, her hand palming Irina's neck and face turned to the side so her ear was pressed to Irina's chest, knowing exactly where she could hear her Mama's heartbeat having done it so many times before. She lay there calmly with tears still raining down and soft cries of "Mama" every now and then but her eyes were growing heavy with exhaustion as she fought sleep.

Katya's hand was curled around Lena's tiny arm dangling over Irina's chest, rubbing soothing strokes up and down it while she hummed The Russian Lullaby and Jack kept his hand over her back, knowing she was used to feeling the pressure of Irina's hand on her back as she fell asleep when she sang to her.

Between Katya's humming voice of the familiar tune and Jack's hand on her back, Lena drifted off to sleep eventually and Jack and Katya continued to sit in silence with Irina and Lena, leaving Lena asleep on her mother's chest and watching in marvel once again as the contact with Lena seemed to speed up Irina's recovery time. She'd increased her breathing on her own by three additional breaths a minute according to the machine beside them, in just the twenty-five minutes since Lena lay on her chest.

"This little one seems to be a miracle worker," Ryan smiled as the three doctors came back into the room noting the progress of Irina's breathing. "Bringing her Mama around again."

"Well, she is 'the light." Katya smiled, running her hand down Lena's back, so very thankful for this miracle baby, "Her Mama's light… bringing her out of the darkness, giving her a reason to keep fighting." She felt her eyes getting teary again, "First after Moscow, again after Africa… after her Execution," She inhaled a shaky breath shaking her head, "and Kashmir, now this." She smiled.

"Their hearts seem to be speaking to each other." Ryan smiled adoring this vision as much as he did the first time he laid eyes on it in LA. "One heart beating in two bodies."

Katya's smile grew, remembering her own mother saying the same thing about the connection between mother's and their children and feeling it with her own children; each of them were pieces of her heart.

"Definitely the light of her Mama's life… and quite the little miracle worker, I agree."

"Quite the day she's had." Alexei smiled down at her angelic form, brushing his old soft hands through her curly hair, "Its no wonder she's tired, it's a lot of work saving lives." He chuckled.

"Perhaps she should become a doctor." Marcelo laughed softly as did everyone else.

"No, not a doctor, a Ruling Tsar, like her mother. The 'light of the people." Alexei smiled with his voice growing more serious, "That is how she'll save lives. She was definitely born for greatness this little one. Of that, I have no doubt. I knew the same of her mother the moment I delivered Irina and looked into the same big dark eyes." His hand ran over Irina's forehead in a soothing fatherly gesture with soulful eyes as he held everyone's attention, "She had me wrapped around her tiny finger from that first moment… and I knew I'd follow her anywhere she wanted to lead me, and I have… because I know that Irina rules from her heart… and I will do the same with this little miracle, and follow that same heart… wherever it may lead me." He bent over to place a soft kiss to Lena's temple, then to Irina's forehead and then to Katya's temple, brushing his hand over her head with the same smile. "There are two things I know for certain after caring for three generations of the Romanov women, gentlemen." Alexei smiled back on his way to the door; still holding everyone's attention, "One," he held up one finger, "that their smiles bring light into your life." His smile grew wider seeing Katya's grow in radiance listening to him, "And two," He held up another finger, "That their laughter brings song into your heart." He laughed.

"I'd most definitely have to agree." Marcelo smiled, his lips brushing over Katya's temple.

"Absolutely." Jack smiled, his fingers wrapping around Irina's and looking between his wife and daughter and then Katya, all so very much a like and different yet those two qualities rang true through each of them as well as Sophia and Sydney.

"I would even have to agree there." Ryan smiled, chuckling and remembering very vividly how Irina's smile had nearly dropped him to his knees when she first flashed it at him that first day of class and the second part was definitely true, he chuckled to himself and then started to hum, 'Mrs. Robinson' just as he had then and everyone in the room laughed softly at him and the reference.

"You should all try to get some rest. She'll be awake in the morning and if I know anything about Irina, she'll be up and raring to go. So you'd better be rested and on top of it… or she'll end up escaping right out from under you as she did the last time." Alexei chuckled, "So determined she will be to see her babies. Mark my words… come tomorrow, we'll be battling her to stay in bed and as stubborn as she is, will be battling us back that '_she will'_ see her babies."

They were all shaking their heads laughing softly in agreement, knowing that is exactly what they should probably expect from her in the morning considering this was indeed Irina.

* * *

Their posts switched twice during the night between Irina and the twins and when morning came, there was a surprising new development. The Neonatal Specialist had put the twins inside the same incubator during the night believing their connection to each other would help them improve and it had worked.

Both were snuggled into each other and the touch was having an extremely positive effect. So much so that both babies were now breathing on their own and the ventilators were removed, a huge relief to everyone. They were still hooked to feeding tubes, IVs and several monitors but they had been moved from Serious Condition up to Stable, in a matter of hours. The power of human contact and heart to heart therapy proved to be the best medicine for the twins and Irina.

Jack was also finally able to touch Nicholas for the first time and lay his fingers over his tiny chest, feeling the rapid beating of his little heart beneath his finger tips and sending a wave of relief and tears through Jack that both of them were alive and well… and rapidly improving and he couldn't wait for their mother to see them.

Sydney had fallen asleep in the bed Katya had occupied in Irina's room in the early morning hours, unable to fight the exhaustion anymore and knowing she needed to sleep or risk her own baby with all the stress and anxiety.

Katya was snuggled in behind her, laying like spoons and looking impossibly cute and picture worthy to Marcelo who had begun to take pictures now that everyone was moving out of the danger zones and it was time to start marking this birth as a joyous event.

Irina's ventilator tube had come out in the early morning hours as well, with her breathing on her own, though she still remained unconscious and her condition upgraded from Critical to Serious. Her exhausted little girl hadn't moved an inch from where she'd passed out on her the night before and Marcelo captured that sweet image as well.

The Press and public were clamoring for a picture of the newest Imperial Family members but Jack insisted that one not be released until after their own mother had gotten to lay eyes on them. Everyone seemed to understand when it was put that way and settled back to wait contently, happy to hear of everyone's enlightening prognosis.

* * *

Somewhere through the fog in her mind Irina felt the wet lips of a familiar kiss and her smile crept across her face before she even opened her eyes, wandering if last night had just been a nightmare knowing whom she was waking up to. With her eyes fluttering open her vision came into focus looking into the deep dark eyes of her precious little girl whose face was lit with her own beautiful smile staring down at her from her perch upon her chest.

"Hello Beautiful." Irina whispered in a croaky dry voice picking her hand up to cup Lena's sweet little face. Her eyes flashed to the IV in the back of her hand and she closed her eyes with a sigh, feeling the pain in her sore throat as well and knowing it wasn't a nightmare afterall.

"Mama…" Lena's little voice sounded like it held its own relief and she leaned over again planting another slobbery kiss on her mother's mouth before wedging her head down under Irina's chin, holding her like a hug and Irina wrapped her arms around her, holding her and feeling her own tears building.

The moment didn't last long though as Lena whipped back with a sadness in her eyes and head cocked to the side, "Mama ow-wy…"

"Awe baby," Irina sighed pulling her back down to her as the tears fell, holding her tightly. "Mama's okay." She whispered realizing how scared Lena must have been last night, and when she was trying to reach for her mother but Irina kept holding her back, using a stern voice Lena wasn't used to and she wept silently speaking her apologies, "I'm so sorry. Mama's sorry, Sweetheart." Her arms felt like concrete as she struggled to hold her.

Lena only seemed to care she was being held by her Mama who was now awake and she let Irina hold her for a moment longer before bouncing back up again.

"Le-La ow-wy. Le-La ow-wy." She repeated to her mother in the sweetest little Russian voice, pointing to her blue Cookie Monster band-aid on the crook of her arm. Irina's eyes immediately narrowing as she took hold of her baby's tiny arm and lifted the band-aid just enough to see the bruise and entry hole of a needle. "Le-La ow-wy." Lena's little lip quivered and eyes flushed with tears on the verge of crying and Irina pulled her back into a hug, holding her to her chest and stroking her hands over her little head and back.

"It's okay, Sweetie," She whispered with eyes still narrowed wondering '_what in the hell'_ they did to her baby, and immediately worried about the other two. She started to hum The Russian Lullaby ever so softly to Lena trying to stop her from crying and it worked as Lena lay absolutely still against her, mesmerized by the sound of her mother's heart beating.

It was then that Irina realized that Lena had been left alone with her unconscious mother on a high bed, even with railings up and she knew that was not an option, they wouldn't leave her alone, and turned her head to the left, smiling when she saw her sister and oldest daughter asleep in the bed beside her, snuggled into each other and looking exhausted. Her eyes tearing again at the thought of what they must have gone through again, last night.

"Mama ow-wy Le-La ow-wy." Lena babbled again against Irina's chest and sprung up, pointing once more to her band-aid and then Irina's hand with the IV in it. "Mama… Coo-kie." She flashed her little Derevko eyebrow of thought and concern, making Irina laugh softly that she wanted her mother to have a Cookie Monster band-aid just as she did for her 'ow-wy.'

Irina's eyebrows narrowed once again, holding onto Lena's arm as she looked at the pretty sizeable bruise and wondered what they had done to her daughter and why. Her lips kissing the spot over the band-aid as she had kissed all Lena's 'ow-wies' before to make them feel better.

"Nicholas needed a blood transfusion," Katya spoke in a hushed voice with a smile, having woken up and watched her sister and her baby girl for the last minute with a smile on her face hearing Irina laugh until she saw her sister's obvious worry taking over, "We couldn't take any from you and Lena was the only other option. He needed the Clotting Factor you both possess. She didn't like it so much and the needle unfortunately dug into her squirming body leaving quite the bruise." Katya gave her a soft smile, her face still pressed over Sydney's with arms around her. "Welcome back, sister."

Sydney's eyes had started to slowly open hearing her aunt's voice and feeling the vibrations.

"Mom…" Her face lit into a big smile, closing her eyes and thanking God before opening them and slowly moving to get up with tears already streaming down her cheeks.

"Are they okay?" Irina asked breathlessly, her hand running softly over Lena's little arm, realizing how desperate the situation must have been if they had to draw blood from her one year old.

Sydney nodded with a big smile as she lowered the railing and sat on the edge.

"They're good. Both are holding in Stable Condition. Mom, they're so beautiful." She smiled through her tears and heard her mother's sharp intake of breath and release with the relief she felt wash over her hearing that. Carefully, Sydney leaned over both her mother and sister and held them kissing her mother's cheek and then sister's. "Thank God you're okay… we were scared to death and I swear… one of these days you're going to give Daddy a heart-attack." She sniffled with a small laugh as she pulled back, trying to lighten the mood.

"I want to see them." Irina's heart skipped around in her chest with longing and anticipation, needing to see them, touch them and confirm for herself they were alright.

Katya laughed softly shaking her head thinking about the conversation last night and Alexei's dead on summation.

"Of course, Rina. I'm sure Jack will take you."

"Where is he? Your father?" Irina asked softly, running her thumb over the back of Sydney's hand with fingers linked around her hand.

"He and Julian are sitting with them. We've been taking turns staying with you and them." Sydney's own hand slid over her belly with a smile. "I'll go get him." She smiled, leaning over to kiss her mother again, "I love you." she looked into her eyes.

"As I love you, Sydney Anne," Irina smiled, kissing her daughter's hand. "So much."

"Come on, Lena, let's go get Daddy and Julian." She reached for her sister and stopped immediately when Lena started screaming hysterically lunging down against Irina, making her wince in pain, fisting her hands around her mother's neck and into her hair screaming, "No Mama! Mama no!" Startling all of them especially Irina with the reaction.

"Shhhh, Sweetheart, its okay." Irina tried to soothe her looking up at Sydney with concerned eyes having never seen a reaction from Lena like this. "Mama's here." Her concern escalating rapidly when she felt the tremors running through Lena that she hadn't felt since a month after being tortured by Cuvee.

"She was pretty traumatized last night. Crying in hysteria for you for almost an hour before Jack finally brought her down and she fell asleep on your chest." Katya offered softly with new building tears seeing her niece's trauma. "She's probably not going to want to leave your side for awhile."

Irina nodded through falling tears and held Lena more tightly, her cheek pressed against Lena's head.

"Go ahead, Sydney… she can stay. It's all right." She whispered to her eldest and began whispering soft little words in Russian into Lena's ear, calming her down.

Sydney left to get her father and after a few moments, Lena had been lulled into silence, only the occasional tremor running through her as she lay quietly against her mother.

Irina turned her head and noticed for the first time that her sister hadn't left the bed beside her yet or even moved and then, the took notice of the hospital gown Katya was wearing as well as an patient ID bracelet. Her heart immediately sped up and eyes darting to the hot pink gauze bandage around Katya's elbows and her still pale appearance.

"You had to donate to me again." She realized, speaking in whisper and it made sense she guessed considering the blood loss she remembered pooling at her feet, but the amount must have been staggering if her sister was hospitalized with her. "Another direct-line?" Her mind was rapidly firing and thumb grazing over Lena's band-aid covered arm as more pieces clicked into place. She must have been incredibly low on blood that they couldn't spare any from her to give to her son, and instead had to take from her other baby.

"Yes," Katya nodded against her pillow with a smile, too exhausted and feeling more drained today than last night.

"Oh, Katya, I'm sorry… so sorry." Irina shook her head softly, knowing how extremely dangerous it was for her sister to do such a thing and by doing it, was putting her own life at risk. "Thank you… but I'm so sorry you had to do it again."

"Hey, no need for thanks." Katya smiled, reaching her hand out and grasping Irina's fingers in the space separating them, "Most people donate a little blood all year round as part of their Civic Duty. I just do it all at once and get it over with." She smirked making light of what she had done again to relieve her sister of any further guilt, "And besides… consider it a 'thank you' to you, as you gave me two glorious birthday gifts." Her smiled raged even as the thought, 'three really' thinking about the fact that her sister survived and that was another glorious gift. "I wasn't expecting them obviously as they weren't due until around your anniversary but none-the-less, they still arrived on a special occasion. My birthday and now theirs." She giggled thinking about Sydney in the car that day and her sister and Jack's strange irony with special occasions.

"They're really okay?" Irina asked breathless with a smile, anxious to see them.

"Yes, Rina. They are really okay." Katya smiled with fresh tears, "I went to see them after they took them off the ventilators and put them in the same incubation unit. They are absolutely precious." She sniffled, "You did it once again my beautiful, strong sister. You held on until your children were safe." She shook her head in awe blinking back new tears. "I love you, Rina."

"I love you, too." Irina smiled, squeezing Katya's fingers slightly and brushing her lips in a kiss over Lena's little head. "Thank you." She looked deeply into her sister's eyes across the space.


	34. Chapter 34

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Isn't She Lovely? **_**by Lionel Richie**_**, The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer from True Romance Soundtrack**_**, Home **_**by Phillip Phillips.**

* * *

THIRTY-FOUR

o

"Katya," Irina spoke after a moment of silence while both were content to watch Lena for a moment, "How bad?" She asked knowing her sister would give her the truth of what had happened that night.

Katya knew exactly what Irina was asking when Irina's eyes finally flashed over to meet hers.

"Bad." Katya answered with a quiet voice filled with emotion as new tears surged in her eyes. "Just after the twins were born and they put you under…" She swallowed hard trying to stop herself from sobbing at the image, "Your heart stopped. You were in full Cardiac Arrest for seven minutes and forty-seven seconds before Ryan was able to get it started again." Another tear slid down her cheeks at how that had seemed like an eternity.

"Well, that explains why my chest is so sore, too." Irina spoke in a near whisper, swallowing hard and looking away with new tears in her eyes as well.

"It was horrendous to watch, again. Them shocking you back to life." Katya added quietly, thinking about seeing her sister being shocked back to life again, for the third time in her life before her eyes.

"I'm sure." Irina answered in a whisper; the visuals from the film still fresh in her mind as they had shocked her back to life after her Execution being the only reference she had as to what it took to bring her heart beat back.

"Even after your heart was started again, you quit breathing. They intubated you shortly after and started a direct-line of transfusion with me. An immediate transfusion was needed for both babies with the blood loss to them as well. Sophia donated to Nadia and Lena as you know, to Nicholas." Katya continued to inform her, knowing that Irina did better when having the details. "They were able to stop the bleeding and saved your uterus." She swallowed hard holding back a small sob knowing this next part was painful.

Before she could continue, Irina had picked up on the change in her sister's tone and the way she'd paused and guessed for herself at the outcome of such events.

"But I won't be able to carry any more children. Will I?" Irina spoke quietly as silent tears slipped down her face and into her hair as she looked up at Lena with a sad smile. She was elated to have been blessed with the children she had, but it was also a terrible sadness to know that her choice to have any more had been taken from her and to know that it was over, having anymore children with the man she loved.

"No, you won't." Katya answered her quietly, confirming the statement and seeing the tears falling endlessly in silence from her sister's eyes, knew the pain she was feeling with the loss. "It's too dangerous. You have too much scar tissue now. Alexei tied your tubes."

"I am blessed, and I am grateful." Irina spoke quietly after several long moments of silence, kissing Lena's tiny hand and giving her a small sad smile through her tear-filled eyes. "I can't wait to see my babies." She whispered, choosing to concentrate on the positive miracles she'd been blessed with and minimizing what was lost.

* * *

"Hey, where's Dad?" Sydney's brows furrowed as she asked Julian softly where their father was as he was absent from the nursery. Julian and Ash were the ones now sitting with Nicholas and Nadia.

"He went to the Waiting Room to give everyone an update." Julian answered seeing something different in Sydney's eyes, "Why?"

"Mom's awake." Sydney broke into a big smile and Julian sighed in relief. "She wants to see them so I'm sure Dad will be forced to bring her in here shortly." She laughed softly at her mother's determination and Julian shook his head with a smile, hearing that she was already fighting for what she wanted let him know she was indeed okay.

Sydney smiled at everyone as she passed them in the hospital's hallway, happy that once again life had granted them another chance.

"Hey," She smiled brightly capturing everyone's attention when she opened the door, leaning against it and waiting for her father to turn and face her, "Mom's awake… and wanting to see them." She laughed softly as did everyone else especially the three doctors present last night in the room.

"See! I told you she would be bouncing back to her determined self in the morning." Alexei smiled, "Well, we'd better go and have a look at her so she can go see them."

"Where's Lena?" Jack asked wrapping his arm around Sydney's shoulders and hugging her, kissing her forehead in relief before leaving the room.

"She's with Mom. Lena won't let go of her. She started crying in hysteria again when I tried to bring her with me to get you." Sydney's smile faded and Jack nodded with a big sigh.

"Would you do me a favor, please?" Jack cupped her face looking into her eyes and waited for Sydney to nod 'yes.' "Go home and rest please. Get cleaned up, change and eat something healthy." Sydney laughed softly as did the others in the room when he said that after they'd all been eating nothing but vending machine snacks. "Then bring me something back to wear, and your sister and mother and Katya, too as they can't stand those gowns." He laughed thinking about the last time Irina was hospitalized; changing gowns before her escape.

"Already ahead of you there, Uncle," Sophia smiled, bouncing off the couch and retrieving two bags.

"Eric and I went back to the palace this morning figuring you guys would need some things. This one has your clothes and Aunt Rina's nightgown, robe and slippers; the other," She handed him the second duffle, "Has some clothes for my mother and Lena."

"Thank you." Jack cupped her cheeks with a smile, kissing her forehead at the thoughtfulness and foresight.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Alexei beamed from the doorway as they all filed into Irina's room. "How are you feeling?" He asked at the foot of her bed, smiling at the way Lena was still lying on Irina's chest, palming her neck with one hand and patting her with the other.

"Hi Gorgeous." Jack whispered with a smile leaning over her and greeting her with a soft kiss, feeling another wave of relief at seeing her beautiful sparkling brown eyes staring up at him. "They're beautiful, Irina… perfect." He answered her question before she even asked, reading it in her eyes.

Tears immediately flushed her eyes and she reached up, lacing her fingers around the back of Jack's neck and pulling his forehead to hers, closing her eyes and letting the tears fall in relief.

"I want to see them. Right now. Please Jack." She opened her eyes' releasing him and they all laughed.

"We knew you would. I'll take you there as soon as they say its okay." Jack smiled, kissing Lena's cheek and stepping back so that the doctors could step in.

"Let's have a look at you and then we'll get you to see those two beautiful little people waiting to meet their Mama." Alexei smiled, pulling on his stethoscope. "Lena," He called out softly to the little girl who was blocking his access to Irina's chest with his hands stretched out to take her. "Can I listen to Mama's heart? Come here, Darling."

Lena narrowed her eyebrows at him with a stern glare, not quite understanding what he was saying but it was clear she understood he wanted her to move and go with him. Her little hand and fingers continued to drum against Irina's chest while eyeing Alexei under those long dark lashes and they broke out into a laugh at her possessiveness of Irina and stubbornness in refusing to move.

"Ok, I guess we'll make a game out of it." Alexei smiled, having had years of experience with working on infants and toddlers. "Daddy," He motioned for Jack to step closer who was eyeing him warily not knowing what he was doing. Alexei chuckled seeing the look on Jack's face as he put the ends of his stethoscope into his ears and slid his hand and the cold end of the listening device through the V-neck opening of the hospital scrub shirt Jack was wearing, listening to his heart. Lena was watching him out of the corner of her eye with curious fascination and then lifted her head to watch them beside her.

"It's work-ing." Katya hummed with a smile.

"Next," Alexei called out, moving to Katya and doing the same to listen to her heart and Lena's little face followed, sitting up slightly against Irina to peer around Alexei and watch. "Next," He called out again and Marcelo dutifully stepped forward, standing up straight and smiling at Lena when her eyes locked onto his.

"Dr. Peterson." Alexei smiled at Ryan who laughed softly and then stepped forward.

"Next?" Alexei called out when he was finished with Ryan turning back to Lena with a smile holding up the end of his instrument and she sat up, pulling up her shirt exposing her impossibly cute baby belly and babbling something incoherent but it was clear she was 'next.' Alexei listened to her little heartbeat for a moment.

When he called out 'next,' again Lena grabbed his hand, pushing it towards her Mama's chest next as the only one left in the room whom hadn't played this game. "Mama." She said determinedly with a sharp head nod, like '_go ahead_.'

Alexei smiled and winked at the others with a smug little grin as he listened to Irina's heart and breathing.

"He's good." Ryan nodded with a smile to Marcelo as they both laughed, feeling as though they learned something today from the older and wiser doctor.

Instead of just pulling Lena away kicking and screaming when she was already traumatized so they could listen to Irina's heartbeat, they'd taken a few extra moments, making it a game and got her to help them do it instead, getting what they wanted and not inflicting further trauma on Lena.

"Okay, next game." Alexei smiled, "Lena, where's your belly button?"

"Awe, you mean you aren't going to ask Daddy to show us his belly button first?" Marcelo snickered and they all laughed again when Lena heard his name and started chanting "Dad-dy," wanting to see his belly button.

Jack threw Marcelo a dagger of a look before shaking his head and laughing, when he pulled up his shirt, showing Lena his belly button and everyone burst out laughing, Irina cringing as laughing in any form was painful but seeing her husband pointing to his belly button was priceless.

"Where's your belly button, Peanut?" Jack asked Lena quickly, already flushed red with embarrassment.

Lena did exactly as was expected and lifted her little velvet shirt again pointing with a tiny finger over her belly button.

Irina swallowed hard as she did every time she saw the pink scar line that went all the way down her baby's torso, a permanent marking from Cuvee and blinked back her tears, already emotional.

"Good." Alexei nodded with a big smile to her. "Now where's Mama's?" He asked, needing access to Irina's abdomen to check the incision area.

Everyone smiled, shaking their heads in wonder and nodding in amazement watching as Lena turned against Irina's chest pushing down the blankets a little and starting to pull up on Irina's gown looking for the object.

"I'll help you." Alexei smiled, carefully moving Lena slightly to the side where Irina wrapped her arm around her so that Lena sat off to the side of her but giving Alexei access to examine her. He pulled her gown up enough to let him see the incision with her lower half still covered by the sheet.

Lena immediately bounced up on her knees with tiny finger pointing over Irina's belly button babbling something in her own language and making them all smile.

The bandages were stained with blood seepage and Alexei immediately began cutting and pulling them away. Lena's little eyebrows narrowed as she stared at the markings resembling little railroad tracks across her mother's skin made of blue stitches and staples.

"Mama ow-wy." Lena pointed with a tiny finger moving to hover over the markings and Alexei stopped her arm from touching it with a gentle grab, kissing the little hand and nodding in an animated motion, yes.

"Yes, My Little Tsarevicha, that's Mama's ow-wy." He smiled, "But we're making it all better."

Katya cringed and Jack swallowed hard taking in the giant blue, black, purple and greenish hues of bruised skin surrounding the incision and knew it had to be painful, even with Alexei's delicate touches as he inspected each and every staple and stitch, pressing lightly around her abdomen that was swollen from the trauma and making sure everything was healing the way it was supposed to and nothing was infected.

"No new scars." Alexei smiled down at Irina as he began to re-bandage the incision. "You're going to be extremely sore when the pain medication starts wearing off and we'll give you more when that starts to happen, but I suggest if you're going to see those beautiful babies… we'd best get you down there now. Before the pain settles in again." He gave her a small smile and Irina nodded, no stranger to pain and knowing it was inevitable.

"Mama ow-wy." Lena repeated, her little hand hovering over the fresh white bandage with curious eyes.

"Yes Sweetheart," Irina ran her hand over Lena's little head and through her curls, "But it's all better now." She gave her a smile seeing the fear and uncertainty still hovering in Lena's eyes.

"Awe…" A soft chorus went up with fresh tears invading both Katya and Irina's eyes when Lena leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on top of Irina's bandage, kissing her 'ow-wy' as her Mama had always done with hers.

"Thank you, My Sweet Girl," Irina pulled her to her, kissing her temple and lips.

"I'll go find a wheelchair but I only want you out of bed for twenty minutes at the most right now, My Dear," Alexei gave her a stern fatherly eyebrow. "You're still very sick and no where near 100% and I don't want you exhausting yourself and getting worse instead of better." He gave her a small smile, "The only reason I'm allowing this, is because I know you well enough to know, that if I didn't let you go see them, you'd go on your own." He laughed softly with everyone else and Irina nodded, that she would.

Marcelo had helped Katya out of the room and change and then guided her to the Waiting Room to see their children and the others, giving Irina and Jack sometime alone.

When Jack had successfully managed to change Lena with Irina's help by keeping their daughter distracted by talking to her, he then helped Irina sit up, cringing with her when she did.

"I'm sorry." He apologized feeling badly that she had to go through this as he carefully lifted her gown over her head.

"Don't be." Irina smiled, reaching up and capturing his lips with her own, "It's worth it." Her smile was whimsical in spite of the pain at thinking about finally getting to see her new babies. Just as carefully, he slid the black satin gown over her head and helped her put her arms through. "Has this become my official hospital nightgown?" She smiled, noticing it was the same one she had worn the last time when hospitalized.

"I certainly hope not." Jack's voice was soft, staring into her dark brown depths. "You scared me." His mind flashed back to the night before, first finding her in a pool of her own blood; her begging him to keep their children alive even if that meant at her expense and then crashing after they were born.

"I know. I'm sorry." Her eyes filled with tears, thinking of the same moment he had and slowly she leaned in with eyes locked on his and then to his lips and Jack closed the distance, kissing her deeply and holding her tightly.

"Let's go see them," He smiled brushing his nose with hers, "I can't wait for you to see them, especially Nadia and hear your reaction." He laughed softly as he helped her to carefully swing her legs over the side of the bed with Lena holding onto her hand tightly, curious as to where her parents were going and certain she was going too.

"Why?" Irina looked at him curiously, seeing his eyes dance with a certain sparkle.

"You'll see." He smiled with a soft laugh, picking her up and swinging her around into the wheelchair. With Irina situated with her IV reattached to the pole on the wheelchair and blanket over her legs, Jack handed her Lena to sit carefully on her lap and the three of them set off to see the babies.

"Mama," Julian greeted her with a kiss and a smile when they came through the doors, relieved to see her awake and Ash followed suit, kissing her and giving her a light hug as well. "I am elated to see you up and around." He knelt beside them, picking up her hand and kissing it and doing the same with Lena's. "We won't keep you. I know you have two very important people to see." He winked at her and kissed her again. "They're beautiful, Mama… congratulations. We'll be in the Waiting Room if you need us for anything."

"Thank You, Julian." Irina smiled, "And you too, Sweetheart." She pulled on Ash's hand, kissing her once goodbye as well. "I love you both, so much."

"We love you, too." Ash smiled through her tears, kissing Irina once more for them both.

"Why don't you two go home for a little while, I know you're exhausted?" Jack held onto Julian's hand a little while longer seeing the weariness and stress the night had taken on both of them as well. Julian nodded with a smile and they were on their way.

* * *

**_*Isn't She Lovely*_**

"Oh Jack," Irina gripped his hand over her shoulder as tears surged into her eyes when she first saw them, nestled together inside their incubator.

"They're so beautiful. Hello, my Little Angels." She cried with silent rivers of tears running down her face, her eyes rapidly scanning them and taking in everything she could.

Her eyes fell on Nadia first, "She looks just like Sydney." Irina smiled in disbelief, with a soft laugh realizing now what Jack was talking about.

Jack wore an astonished smile shaking his head that she knew which baby was which, without having to tell her which of them was Nicholas and Nadia having no way to tell simply by looking at them in their diapers, but she knew… their mother, in recognizing these pieces of her heart.

"Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking." Jack knelt beside her and Lena with a smile. "And I think Nicholas looks a lot like you… he definitely has your eyes but Sydney swears she can see me just as much."

Irina swallowed a small sob when she first saw the faintest of bruising around her son's chest and arm from where they had pulled him free from her body and she wiped at her tears, shaking her head when her eyes landed on his face her heart skipped a beat and she ceased breathing, gasping as a new torrent of tears rained down her face and hand fisted, covering her mouth in disbelief as she paled.

"What is it? Irina, they're perfect," His eyes flashed to the fading bruising and realized that was what she was probably noticing and concerned about, "He's okay now that he's been given the factor."

"That's not it," she choked back her sob and leaned closer to the incubator with hand shaking as she touched the glass.

"What then?" Jack was moving right in with her, his heart starting to pound in his chest that she was seeing something or felt something about him that maybe he had missed.

"He looks so much like him." Irina whispered in another choked sob. The differences were obvious to her but the similarities were glaring.

"Who?" Jack looked into her blurry eyes with wonder.

"Jack." His name came out in a hushed breath of a whisper and Jack knew immediately whom she was talking about: their lost little boy. The baby he'd never had the chance to see but one she delivered on her own, held his tiny form in her arms and had time to memorize everything about him before Cuvee and the other monsters ripped him away.

Jack's eyes immediately filled with tears and a sharp sigh left his body hit with another intense wave of emotion as he kissed her lips, and rested his forehead with hers.

"Your Majesty," the shy timid nurse approached trembling with a smile having never before been so close to the Tsar in her life and struck in a sudden moment of awe. "I don't mean to interrupt, but would you like to touch them. I think that's just what they need."

"Yes," Irina nodded with a wide smile, wiping at her tears, "Thank you."

"Of course, Your Majesty," she smiled, unlatching the door to the incubator, "They are truly beautiful babies. Congratulations."

"Thank you, for everything." Irina smiled thanking her for taking care of them when she couldn't.

"My pleasure, Your Majesty," The young woman nodded, "And I, am so pleased to see you're doing better as well. You gave us all a good scare again last night." She smiled handing Irina the sanitizing gel to put on her hands. "Ok, go ahead."

Irina put her hand through the tiny door, instantly feeling the warmth simulating the temperature it had been inside her womb. Her fingers danced delicately over every limb and inch of skin, counting toes and fingers with silent streams of tears of happiness and relief as she went. Their tiny squeaks and moves typical of any newborns sleeping.

"Be-be!" Lena pointed with captivated eyes looking through the glass and Jack and Irina both laughed softly. Her little eyebrow cocked as she repeated, "Be-be" and then looked to her mother's stomach, as if now noticing that her large 'be-be' belly was gone and trying to figure it all out.

"Yes, Sweetheart," Irina kissed her little head, "This is your baby sister, Nadia," Irina's fingers ran over Nadia's tiny leg with tears in her eyes, "And this is your baby brother, Nicholas." She did the same with Nicholas. "No more babies in Mama's tummy." She shook her head 'no' with a smile while Lena kept pointing to her belly, confused and curious.

"No be-be." Lena shook her head sharply, 'no,' pointing to Irina's belly and coming to an understanding of sorts. "No be-be."

"That's right, Peanut." Jack smiled at her, nodding in agreement and completely fascinated by her show of brilliance yet again.

"Mama ow-wy." Lena remembered and patted Irina's stomach softly with tiny fingers.

Jack and Irina both nodded sadly with small smiles, both realizing this was going to stay with Lena for some time, this trauma.

Irina had been running her finger tip up and down Nadia's arm gently and smiled widely with love when her daughter's teeny-tiny little fingers wrapped around one of her own, and sent another prayer of thanks to God.

* * *

**_*The Beach Song*_**

The following day was the first day that Jack and Irina were allowed to hold them and it took quite a bit of coaxing to get Lena to go sit on her Daddy's lap right beside her Mama, so that Irina could hold the twins, one at a time and then together. They'd also released their first series of pictures of the twins to the press and everyone was smitten immediately at how entirely precious they were.

Irina ran her finger over Nicholas's tiny cheek as she nursed him for the first time with tears in her eyes, having just finished with Nadia; still marveling that they'd been given two more miracles in their life.

"Thank you, Irina." Jack smiled over at her, looking up from where he cradled Nadia in one arm and held Lena in the other; the tiny little girl now completely enamored with inspecting the two new babies in her life and the little sounds and tiny cries they made. "For two more impossibly perfect children."

"I didn't do it all by myself." Irina smiled with a soft laugh, cupping Nicholas's tiny head and running her hand through his incredibly soft downy dark hair with tiny wavy curls. "Thank you, Jonathan… for more of you, for me," She turned his saying on him with her gorgeous smile that always melted his heart, "to love."

"We really do make love well." Jack spoke in Spanish, knowing only Irina would understand with a hint of mischievousness as he looked from their children to her eyes and then waggled his eyebrows as images from their children's conceptions floated through his mind and making her laugh.

"Yes, that we do Panama Jack." Irina answered in the same Spanish, winking at him and making him laugh in turn. "And Emperor Jack too, I guess, as it was the night of the Coronation that produced these two new beautiful additions. And of course, Captain Jack on that sailboat in Sydney Harbor which resulted in our brilliant first attempt at creating physical manifestations of our love." She smiled more brightly, "And of course, we can't forget Free Agent Jack, in celebrating our adoption of Julian the same day you resigned from the CIA." She looked into his dark eyes and already saw the passion flaring there behind his smile. "You're already counting down the days until you can 'claim' me again, aren't you husband?" She realized and broke into laughter when he nodded.

"Absolutely, my gorgeous wife." Jack smirked at her falling head over heels all over again just seeing her raging smile, "Its just too bad that our anniversary is a little less then month away and doesn't quite meet that six week mark… that would have been the perfect night to show you exactly how much I love you again… and again… and again." His voice grew deeper with each insinuation it was going to be an explosive reunion night.

"We found a way last time, I'm sure something can be arranged." Irina answered him with her deep sexy voice he loved so much and drove him nuts with that saucy look in her eyes. "I love you, Jack." She added softly, reaching over to link his finger with hers.

"Not nearly, as much as I love you, Irina." He smiled, his fingers playing with hers.

Both were too busy staring into each other's eyes to notice the tight smirk on the young nurse's face behind them as she wrote out charts, having heard and understood exactly what they said after having spent two years of college in Spain on an Exchange Program... courtesy of her all expenses paid education by an anonymous source then, not so anonymous now and sitting in the rocking chair behind her, The Romanov. She'd seen the movie last night as soon as her shift ended and the vivid images of that 'Panama' love scene were making her blush as she bit her lip to keep from giggling.

The great love story she saw last night and watched in the first two films was now, continuing to unfold behind her in real-time and she was the only one there to witness it. Seeing and hearing it for herself just how much in love these two really were and she couldn't tear the smile from her face falling evermore deeply in love with her country's Imperial Family. She shook her head trying to clear her smile and giggles before turning around, not wanting to give her self away and took a deep breath.

"I hate to do this, Your Majesty, but I need to test his blood again," She knelt to the side of Irina, searching for Nicholas's little foot amidst the blankets. "It will be just a tiny prick and I'll try to make it fast." She gave Irina a nervous smile and quickly looked away, trying not to snicker when her eyes flashed briefly to Irina's chest where the baby was nursing and having an instant flash of the Emperor Consort sitting beside them biting that same breast and while injecting the tracker that she saw last night in the film.

Nicholas's foot was incredibly tiny and she pricked his heel with the tiniest of needles to draw a bit of blood and Nicholas stopped nursing for only a second, pulling his leg sharply back and flashing his eyes open but that was it.

"You're very good at this," Irina smiled, trying to see the young nurse's name tag, impressed with her tenderness and abilities as a nurse, "Larissa." She smiled, finally seeing it and the woman's eyes flashed back up to Irina's, startled to hear her say her name and then looked away quickly again when her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and flattered to have the Tsar complimenting her. She placed a tiny circular bandage on Nicholas's foot and secured the strip with his blood on it into a vile for the lab.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." Her eyes flitted back up to Irina's knowing she needed to look at the woman who was staring intently at her, trying to make eye contact and feeling her gaze. "I really do, have you to thank for this." She smiled and waved around the room, indicating her job. "You paid for my schooling… supported me while I attended university."

Jack's face immediately lit into a smile, hearing this and seeing one of the results of Irina's kindness and investment in Russia's future; the good karma coming back when it was this nurse whom Irina educated that had helped save their children and was caring so well for them now.

"You're one of mine." Irina's face lit into a brilliant smile, cocking her head to the side just a bit to study the young woman more intently and the young woman blushed at being called, 'one of hers' feeling a surge of pride in belonging in that club. It took just a moment but the sparkling big blue eyes and dramatically curly eyelashes helped her remember the picture, "Larissa 'Lara' Portnikova," Irina knew the nickname the girl went by even and the young woman's eyebrows only rose higher. "From St. Petersburg… you grew up just down the street in fact."

The young woman gasped with wide eyes completely impressed that the Tsar knew exactly who she was. "Yes, Your Majesty."

"You always received excellent markings and I knew, you'd make a fantastic nurse… and I see," She nodded towards her children, her thumb gliding softly over Nicholas's little foot, "That you are. Congratulations on your success."

"I couldn't have done it without you, Your Majesty." She felt tears brimming in her eyes.

"I simply gave you the means and opportunity, but you did all the hard work." Irina reached out, grasping her hand and giving her a beautiful smile, "I'm very proud of you, Lara. Thank you for taking such great care of my children."

"You're very welcome. It is my great pleasure, Your Majesty." She gave her a slight bow before turning to leave. "If you need anything else. Just press the Call Button."

When she was about five feet away, Irina was struck with something.

"You were also in the Exchange Program weren't you, Lara?" She smiled when the young woman stopped dead in her tracks and Jack's eyebrows furrowed curiously seeing that familiar twinkle in his wife's eyes. "You spent two years in Barcelona?" Irina asked her in Spanish.

'Busted,' Lara burned bright red and turned around blushing out of control with a big dimply smile and looking at the floor.

"Si, Senora." Her eyes flashed up to Irina's smiling when she heard the Tsar break into laughter at realizing she'd understood what they were saying in Spanish earlier. Her tight-lipped smile raged on and she nodded to both of them and quickly spun on her heel leaving to die alone in her embarrassment.

"You had to send her to Spain, didn't you?" Jack shook his head that he'd picked the one language he thought was safe in Russia only to have it backfire. "You could have sent her to Germany or France… but, no. Not my wife. She sent her to Spain." He flashed his eyes to Irina's and took in her beautiful smile and then broke into laughter when she did again.

"So she knows we're in love and crazy about each other?" Irina shrugged with a beautiful smile. "I hardly think that's a secret now." She chuckled remembering the vivid flashes from their Panama reunion, exposed in the film that the world was now at liberty to view.

Jack smiled, loving her so alive and full of passion for life, for her children and for their love.

* * *

_Alexander Palace - One Week Later_

"That's hilarious!" Vaughn roared with laughter along with everyone else as Irina held up the last gift, a baby blanket.

They were sitting in the Living Room opening gifts and welcoming home Nicholas, Nadia and Irina from the hospital.

"Well, I went with the Cowboy and Cossack theme and decided it was a must have." Weiss smiled happily from the chair across from Irina where he was cradling a sleeping Nadia. "And besides, I can't get the size wrong on blankets!" He blushed a little thinking about Lena's first outfit that she swam in and shook his head amazed looking at her now sitting on her mother's lap and then to the tiny baby in his arms and pondering how quickly time passed.

"I love it, Eric. Thank you." Irina kissed her fingers, winked and blew him a kiss across the room, "It will go perfectly with the décor in Nicholas's room."

"So they are going to have separate rooms?" Judy smiled, running her finger over Nicholas's soft cheek sleeping blissfully unaware of his surroundings in Julian's arms, the brothers already completely at ease in each other's presence.

"Eventually." Irina smiled, running her fingers through Lena's hair; her little girl still sticking to her side like, glue, "Right now we'll keep them together in the bassinet as long as they are on the same sleep schedule but Katya said," She smiled over to her sister who had experience with twins and was giving her advice, "When they get older, we'll need to separate them only so they won't wake each other up."

"That's good advice." The First Lady Laura smiled in turn thinking of her own twins, "Our girls were always keeping each other awake or waking each other up, we had to separate them eventually, too."

"But not for long as they were demanding bunk beds just a few short years later and then a few after that, separate rooms again!" The President added laughing.

"And even today with their separate rooms, we more often then not, find them sleeping in the same room if not bed, when they are both back from school." Laura smiled warmly, "They are absolutely beautiful, Irina… Jack," She added a moment later after gazing from each of the babies to their parents with a raging smile.

"Thank you." Irina smiled with pride as many in the room agreed with the First Lady for the hundredth time since their birth with the same raging smiles and nods. "Thank you all for everything." She clasped Jack's fingers beside her, "You've all been so wonderful and we're truly blessed to have each of you in our lives." She felt her eyes tearing up and Jack started rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb knowing how emotional she still was over almost losing the babies and her life. "Thank you." She added again softly with a smile through teary eyes.

"Now that the gift sharing is over, let us eat! I have dinner prepared and waiting to be served in the Dining Room." Dmitri smiled brightly at her and gave Irina a nod, giving her an, 'out' seeing she needed one.

Lena bounded off Irina's lap and went running for Dmitri's hand, reaching up for it and holding on tightly just hearing the word 'eat' and lit their faces with hopeful smiles and laughter at her eagerness and chanting 'eat, eat, eat.'

The hopeful smiles that she was getting past the trauma faded though, the moment Dmitri began to lead her from the room and she realized she wasn't holding onto her mother and immediately turned, running towards Irina at full speed crying 'Mama!'

Irina's heart sank as she scooped her up into her arms still sitting on the couch and held her tightly. Tears in her eyes and she gently whispered soothing words to Lena staring over her tiny shoulder to Jack and the others who were leaving the room but watching with the same sadness.

"Just give us a few minutes, ok?" Irina whispered to Jack with a teary smile, grasping his hand.

"Okay." Jack nodded softly, knowing that Irina and Lena were going to have to work through this together, just as they had before… they just needed time. "Do you want me to help you up now, then?" He stood, holding onto her hand and knowing she was still sore moving around and it was hard enough to stand with Lena in your arms without having just had abdominal surgery.

Irina nodded and held onto his hand as he helped her to stand. She leaned into him kissing his cheek while Lena clung desperately to her neck afraid her Daddy was going to try to take her away from her Mama and didn't ease up her grip on Irina until he left.

She began walking while holding Lena and humming to her in front of the massive glass windows covered with frost and gazing at the snow covered grounds outside while Jack watched from the doorway. He couldn't help but wonder if keeping Lena from Irina for so long that night, had only added to her trauma and made her more desperate now? If maybe he hadn't of waited so long to take her to her mother, maybe she wouldn't still be this 'clingy.' His heart broke with guilt and sadness either way as he watched the two pause at a window at the far end, Lena lifting her head from Irina's shoulder enough to follow her mother's finger out the window to what she was pointing at outside.

"Moon! Moon!" Lena smiled, pointing with her own little finger and said something rapidly in her baby babble excitedly seeing what her mother had pointed out and his heart smiled a little that they were finding their way and he quietly ducked out of the room leaving them to their time and space.

Irina continued to point out various things she saw outside in the moonlight as they walked along, distracting Lena and taking her mind away from whatever horrible memories her tiny little mind held onto that scared her so much.

By the time they sat on the piano bench, it was Irina who was blinking back tears trying hard to hold them in thinking about just that, the terrible images that must reside in her baby girl's mind to scare her so to make her so desperate to hang on, to be fearful of her mother 'leaving her.' She wanted to cry at the thought that both her daughters held the same fear, both with lingering feelings of abandonment they couldn't help.

Lena's little fingers banging down on the keys of the piano as she sat on her lap snapped her out of her daze and brought her attention back to the moment. Lena continued to bang around happily on the keys loving the sounds she was making and laughing gleefully and then clapping at her success making Irina laugh.

"Yes, that's good, My Sweet Girl." Irina smiled kissing Lena's neck and making her squirm and then batted at the tear track. Her hand reached up and played a beautiful sequence of notes off the top of her head and Lena clapped for her.

"Are you brainwashing our child?" Jack asked playfully coming up behind them with a smile that fell when he saw the tear stained cheeks on his wife's face before she looked him in the eye.

"No, that's your M.O." She quipped quickly, wiping the new tears she couldn't seem to stop or really understand in this moment from her cheeks and refusing to meet his gaze.

"Ouch… touché." Jack knelt beside them, picking up her fingers and holding them with both of his hands, bobbing his head with hers' trying to meet her eyes. His Mission Operative had been developing the program to brainwash children in Project Christmas, though Irina had never been outright angry with him for it since they'd reunited. Her M.O. after all, had been to steal that information for the Soviets and she too had used it as a trainer for the Soviet Program.

"I'm sorry." Irina sniffled, finally meeting his eyes and feeling badly for a potshot that he didn't deserve right now, "You didn't deserve that. I don't know why I said it… I'm just…" She shook her head as more tears formed and Lena continued to press the keys one at time though delicately now seemingly aware her parents were talking and their 'tone' and posture causing her to take note in her marvelous little brain.

"You just what?" Jack kissed her hand, speaking softly and flashing his smile to Lena who was staring at him with one now as she slowly plunked down mischievously on another key with a quirked eyebrow. Jack knew that Irina wasn't really upset about the Project Christmas training, or at him, she was simply upset about something else and lashing out when he'd given her the opportunity.

"I'm just sickened by the thought that I've already managed to traumatize another daughter into having a phobia I'm going to leave her forever if I leave her sight!" Irina rambled out quickly and then inhaled a shaking breath fighting back tears and melting into Jack's shoulder, crying when he had pulled her into him instantly, sandwiching Lena between them much to her protest.

"It's not your fault." Jack reminded her quietly, knowing she wasn't going to believe it in this moment even if he knew, she knew it was the truth. "It's not your fault." He repeated, holding her face in his hand and looking deeply into her teary dark eyes, "I love you. Sydney loves you. Lena loves you. We all love you and we all know… it's not your fault."

"Lena doesn't know that." Irina sniffled, pulling her daughter up to her and snuggling into her Snuggle Bug who always knew when she needed a hug and wrapped her little arms around her neck, palming and patting her mother soothingly on the neck making her smile.

"I think she does." Jack smirked nodding towards the tiny hand patting her mother's neck as if to say, 'it's okay Mama.' "You two have gotten through this before, you'll get through it again. It's just going to take time, Irina, there is no hurry."

"I know." She hiccupped into Lena's downy hair, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath inhaling her baby scent, "It just tears me apart to see that look in her eyes. That absolute look of fear and terror, all because she thinks I'm leaving her."

Jack swallowed hard, knowing there wasn't really anything he could say and instead kissed her head and Lena's and then Irina's mouth when she opened her eyes.

"We'll just have to keep trying," Jack gave her a smile and ran his hands down both of their gorgeous heads of hair. "I've got an idea," his eyes lit up after a moment, "Alexei's actually," He smiled thinking back to the brilliant doctor in the hospital in handling Lena without traumatizing her further. "Peanut, Mama needs a big hug and kiss. Can you give Mama a big hug and kiss?" Jack coaxed her bright little eyes with a smile.

Lena nodded sharply and did just that, hugging Irina's neck tightly and then planting a big slobbery kiss on her mouth making Irina laugh and smile, joining in on the game.

"Now Snuggle Bug, now Daddy needs a big hug and kiss. Can you give Daddy a big hug and kiss?" Irina in turn coaxed Lena to see if this 'game' would work.

Lena slanted her eyebrow and turned, looking down fingering her mother's locket and at her Daddy from under her long eyelashes without making a sound.

"Awe, Lena… Daddy will be sad if he doesn't get a big hug and kiss too? Won't you give Daddy a big hug and kiss, please?" Irina prompted her again, resting her forehead against Lena's tiny little one as she held her to her chest, "Please, Snuggle Bug."

"Please, Peanut?" Jack pleaded in his best own begging voice trying not to laugh at seeing the way she was looking at him under those long lashes he loved so much with such a fierceness that was most definitely from her mother.

Lena sprung towards him with arms open almost leaping out of Irina's arms into his and then giggled her tiny giggles as she wrapped her arms around his neck, then kissed him with the same slobbery lips.

Jack tickled her quickly to keep her laughing and Irina smiled watching the two, sighing with a tiny bit of relief to see Lena was content to stay there for now.

"I bet Sydney and Julian would want a big hug and kiss, too." Irina smiled keeping this going hopefully and using this as a way to help Lena reach out and reconnect with the others to feel safe again.

"And Be-be and be-be!" Lena clapped excitedly making both her parents laugh at how absorbed she was already with her new siblings, always kissing them whenever she had the chance.

"Yes, the babies, too!" Irina kissed her tiny little hand as the three walked out of the room to join the others.

The plan worked and Lena proceeded to hug and kiss everyone in the room, ending with Weiss whom she was all too happy and preoccupied with during most of dinner to remember her fears.

* * *

When bedtime rolled around, Irina tried to put an already sleeping Lena into her crib but Lena woke moments later crying for her. She waited outside the door for five minutes, crying right along with Lena in following the others' advice to let her cry it out and couldn't take it anymore when her cries turned to shrill screams of 'Mama' that broke her heart.

"It's still early." Marcelo walked past her with a sympathetic gaze and supportive nod, knowing this was going to take some time to work through and these were not like other tantrums of a toddler, "Go ahead and get her."

Irina needed no other encouragement and flew through the door, reaching for Lena with the same outstretched arms and swooping her baby up.

"I'm so sorry, Sweetheart." Irina whispered into her little ear, rocking her slowly back and forth. She hated having to do this, but knew it was necessary in moving forward in the separation process all over again. Teaching Lena all over again that she might leave but she'll always come back. It was tough on both of them. She grabbed Lena's yellow bear and headed towards her room where Jack was finishing changing the twins and met his soft smile when she stepped into the door in understanding.

Lena had slept with Irina every night at the hospital and it seemed, would be sleeping with them tonight as well.

"You don't mind?" Irina asked still holding onto Lena tightly as Jack stood in front of them.

"Of course not." Jack smiled, palming her face and kissing her lips, "I changed both of their diapers and clothes and neither woke up at all." He chuckled looking at the babies lying asleep on their bed, snuggled together, "I almost forgot how springy their arms and legs are when they're newborns." He shook his head with a smile, "They're so used to being in little curled up balls its hard to dress them. I keep thinking I'm going to break them."

"You won't break them, Daddy." Irina smiled, kissing the corner of his mouth and falling more in love with him every second, "You're so adorable with them. I love you." She looked into his eyes and kissed him on the lips letting it linger.

Nadia decided it was a perfect time to cry and began making tiny snorting noises before a little squeal of a cry came out of her now wiggling body with arms shot straight out and rigid from her body. Nicholas' face only scrunched into a grimace at the disturbance and loud crying and both Jack and Irina laughed when he moved his little hand over his eye as if trying to hide from it.

Jack carefully picked Nadia up, patting her back and nuzzling his face close to her head trying to comfort her, but she was hungry and angry she wasn't being fed.

"How do you want to do this?" He looked at her helpless seeing Lena clinging to her Mama and holding his screaming baby. Lena had been pretty good about letting Irina nurse the twins but with her apparent recent crying he wasn't sure.

Irina moved to her side of the bed and with Jack's help settled back against the pillows and the headboard, easing Lena off to her side where she stayed nestled under one arm. When they were settled he handed her Nadia and helped her lower her nightgown on one side and the baby latched on immediately, ravenous at having worked up such a hunger over crying.

Irina smiled with Lena's head nestled into her chest on one side and the baby nursing contently now on the other, her thumb grazing over the tiny foot sticking out from her sleeper and blankets and she laughed softly with Jack when Lena kissed the little foot, having seen many people do that now.

Jack couldn't tear the smile from his face watching the three of them and seeing his son sleeping contently beside them as he put on his own pajamas. Never in a million years would he have imagined a moment like this. When he was finished, he carefully slid his hands under Nicholas and cradled the sleeping baby boy to his naked chest and sat back against the headboard and pillows with Irina; Lena between them.

_***Home***_

"This is going to be a lot of fun, you know?" Irina smiled speaking quietly, her finger grazing over Nadia's tiny eyebrow and then ear before looking up over at Jack and Nicholas and kissing Lena's head.

"I know." Jack smiled in turn, his one big hand holding the tiny baby securely to his chest as he leaned in and kissed his wife.

"I always wanted a family like this with you." Irina whispered brushing her nose with his unable to keep from smiling, "Another dream come true. Thank you and I love you." She kissed him again more deeply.

"Hey whoa, whoa!" Weiss held his pillow up in front of his face trying not to laugh.

"What are you doing in here?" Jack turned his head towards the door seeing the intruder as he came charging into their room with blankets and pillows; followed shortly there after by Sophia in her pajamas and then Sydney, Vaughn, Ash, Sergei, Julian, Madeleine and so on. Each bringing something different ranging from: pillows and blankets to popcorn and other snacks. The line of people entering their room seemed endless.

"Having our slumber party since we never got to the other night." Weiss smiled, snapping out his blanket on the giant floor rug while Sophia arranged their pillows, "Oh relax, Panama Jack," Weiss sighed pretending to be exasperated with a giant smirk seeing Jack's furrowing brows, "You can't touch the Siberian Tiger for at least another month yet! So calm down! We're not going to be interrupting your play."

Sydney covered her eyes with a groan while everyone else laughed out loud and Jack burned bright red with embarrassment, shaking his head and glaring at Weiss.

Lena seemed thrilled with the idea clearly remembering the last time when she started clapping and bouncing beside Irina while wearing a wide smile at seeing the people coming into the room and settling in.

Both Jack and Irina's eyes widened seeing that Kendall had also appeared in their room beside Judy, seemingly intending to stay as well for this slumber party. He looked sheepishly at Irina and then away looking around the floor for a spot to make a bed for he and Judy.

"Kendall, are you sure you don't need to ask Irina for a pillow and blanket?" Weiss smiled widely, seizing the opportunity presented to him and everyone started laughing remembering clearly the hilarious moment from the last film when he refused Irina's repeated requests for a pillow and blanket while she was in prison and all finding it ironic now, that the man was making a place to sleep on her bedroom floor, wanting to be near her.

Irina's eyes caught with Kendall's and held intensely with a warm smile, seeing him burn bright red while ignoring Weiss, giving Kendall a soft nod as acknowledgment of how far they'd come and how moved she was that he'd wanted to join in the fun this evening.

They all knew why they were there. It was Irina's first night home and if they'd been 'clingy' to her before from just watching the Execution in the film, it was intensified now witnessing her harrowing delivery of the twins and thanking God once again for giving her back to them.

The thought made tears come to Irina's eyes as she stared into space a moment thinking about it before Weiss broke her thoughts with his perfect humorous sense of timing.

"So the Cowboy and Cossack are still awake, huh?" Weiss smiled, pausing mid pillow fluff beside Irina on the bed to lean over and coo over Nadia whose eyes were wide-open now as she curled her fisted hand against her cheek and nuzzled further into her mother while nursing. "I just have to tell you again, she is so damn cute! They both are." His smile widened as his fingers reached out gently to graze the top of Nadia's downy covered head.

"Right, Eric. You're just using my little sister to get that close to my mother's boobs." Sydney laughed, teasing him mercilessly and loving the fact he instantly burned bright red and snapped his hand away as if burned.

"I was not!" Weiss gulped flushing a continuous red in embarrassment, "I was not." He quickly snapped his head to Irina repeating his conviction, "I wasn't even thinking about that, honestly. I was not, I promise."

Seeing Irina breast feeding was nothing new and yes, he had to admit to himself it still made his breath catch slightly every time but it was only for an instance and then it was gone, replaced by the sheer awe and beauty of a mother and baby.

"I was just kidding, Eric, calm down." Sydney couldn't stop laughing seeing the look on his face when he looked to her father with the fear of death in his eyes.

"You people are worse then a bunch of teenagers!" Jack grumbled shaking his head and Irina smiled widely, completely amused and loving this interaction and mixing of everyone again.

"Oh, and you would know since you spent so much time with me as a teenager?" Sydney quipped with her slanted Derevko eyebrow and dimple-faced grin, teasing her father right back and throwing a piece of popcorn at him from the bowl under her arm.

"Ooooh burn!" Weiss snickered smugly and continued to make his and Sophia's bed.

"Touché." Jack nodded with a slight smile and acknowledging the truth; his mind boggling over how impossibly alike she was to her mother with Irina's rightfully damning slam earlier in the evening, "Well, are you going to share that popcorn, Sydney or are you just going to keep throwing it at me?"

"I haven't decided yet." Sydney smiled widely again with the same stern eyebrow, popping a piece into her mouth.

"Well aren't you feisty tonight, Syd." Weiss laughed, snagging Sophia and bringing her into his arms, wrapping them around her from behind and drinking from her soda straw over her shoulder.

"She's been that way all night." Vaughn shook his own head with a smile.

"Oh yes, pregnancy hormones. I know them well," Jack nodded with a small smile, trying to keep his gaze from going to Irina. "Like mother like daughter."

"Well, if that's the case I'm surprised you two are sleeping in here tonight, instead of having your own 'wild safari' party in your own room with those raging, feisty Derevko pregnancy hormones." Weiss shot back at Vaughn and Sydney clawing the air and everyone but Jack and Sydney, who both burned bright red, burst into laughter clearly remembering Jack's line in the last film about Irina and her wild pregnancy hormones that made her a feisty animal to contend with and the hilarious morning after scene with Sydney and the claw marks.

The laughter continued for quite sometime through Irina finishing nursing both babies and putting them to sleep in the bassinet beside the bed as well as Lena falling asleep before the laughs began to taper off with exhaustion and they turned out the lights for the night.

When everyone had finally settled down a moment of silence fell over the now dark room, bathed only in the moonlight washing through the enormous windows.

Less than a minute had gone by before Weiss broke the silence singing out loudly from the floor, "_It's the gravity of love!"_ followed immediately by a thundering chorus of everyone else that sang out the rest of the chorus of, "_O fortuna!"_ before breaking into a mass of laughing and giggles only made worse with Jack's loud, "Oh brother," that sent them into deeper hysteria.

Jack rolled over to smile at Irina in the darkness, linking his fingers with hers over their sleeping child, completely in love with his family and loving the laughter and Eric Weiss for this last reminder of bringing it back to that day that had started so wonderfully and almost, but didn't, end tragically and instead gave them all another shining example of the _gravity of their love_.

"Say Goodnight, Gracie," Jack said to all, quoting the famous comedy show evening sign-off when the laughter died down again, his smile still raging against his pillow looking into Irina's dark eyes across from him.

"Goodnight Gracie!" Everyone else chorused and then laughed again leaving both Jack and Irina chuckling and shaking their heads.


	35. Chapter 35

_**AN: I have to say that this is one of my most favorite chapters because it was so fun to write. 'The Night at the Oscars' is certainly memorable for this lot! If you usually skip the music, please at least find my mix on youtube called, The Oscar Mix by SAWild on the channel sawild23, or by finding it directly on the tumblr page for Absolution and Forever & Always. It adds great fun to an entertaining night at the Academy Awards! It's also emotional with the first return trip to Mexico for Irina and Jack since their last. Enjoy the ride!- Wild**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer from True Romance**_**, This Years Love **_**by David Gray**_**, Fairy Dance **_**by PJ Hogan from Peter Pan Soundtrack,**_** The Oscar Mix **_**by various artists mixed by SAWild,**_** Tania **_**by James Horner from Enemy At The Gates Soundtrack**_**, Back in Black **_**by AC/DC**_**, In Dreams **_**by Chris Tilton from ALIAS Soundtrack**_**, I Surrender **_**by Celine Dion**_**, Dragula **_**by Rob Zombie**_**, Disco Science **_**by Paul Oakenfold**_**, Page 47 **_**by Michael Giacchino**_**, Like Toy Soldiers (Instrumental) **_**by Eminem**_**, The Gael **_**by Dougie Maclean from Last of the Mohicans Soundtrack**_**, Misirlou **_**by Dick Dale**_**, Tania **_**by James Horner**_**, Nara **_**by E.S. Posthumus**_**, Together **_**by The XX**_**, Mondo Bongo **_**by Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros.****  
**

* * *

THIRTY-FIVE

o

**_*The Beach Song*_**

_St. Petersburg, Russia - February 14th, 2004_

"Is everyone here?" Irina asked Sydney with a smile as she finished putting on Nadia's white satin booty.

Lena was sitting on the bed playing with the babies as Irina dressed them, already dressed like her mother, in her gorgeous little satin dress with blue Imperial sash and regalia in place, her perfect little crown adorning her head full of long curly brown hair; smiling and giggling in madness when both Nicholas and Nadia grabbed hold of her fingers.

"Yeah, they're all ready and waiting for us." Sydney smiled brightly, running her hand over her bulging baby belly and excited about this day and night: her parents wedding anniversary and the baptisms of her younger siblings. "They're absolutely precious," She sat on the edge of the bed with a laughing smile, bending over the best she could to kiss both their faces and then Lena's making her laugh again. "How are you feeling? You look amazing as always," She looked up at her mother who couldn't tear the smile from her own face looking at her children.

"Wonderful." Irina clasped her hand and held it tightly.

It had been nearly three weeks since the twins were born and everyday she was home she felt better and stronger. Her recovery was going excellently and rapidly according to Alexei who attributed such a speedy recovery to her 'fabulous genetics and the happiness which lit her heart.'

"How are you feeling, my Darling Daughter?" Irina smiled, leaning over to kiss Sydney's belly with her own smile.

"Wonderful." Sydney answered back with her own deep dimply grin that Irina loved, "I can't wait for you to see what we got you and Dad." Her laughed turned devious with a wink as she scooped up Nadia.

"You, who?" Irina asked her back with a slanted coy eyebrow, picking up Nicholas and guiding Lena with a hand to her back from the bed.

"We as in your children. Julian, Lena, Nicholas, Nadia and myself," Sydney laughed though it held a hint of nervousness that only her mother would notice.

"Not even a hint?" Irina asked her holding out her finger where Lena grabbed on and charged forth, leading them out of the room to join the others.

"Nope." Sydney giggled thinking about her honeymoon gift and Irina's withholding of information.

The ceremony began in the same spectacular cathedral where Irina's Coronation was held with very nervous Godparents still bewildered to find out the news just that morning participating in the traditional baptismal ceremony.

They'd chosen five Godmothers and four Godfathers: nine people who were already 'family' and who had made significant differences in their lives, people they trusted with the wellbeing of Nadia and Nicholas.

The first two were the Petersons: Ryan and Ann who both instantly had tears in their eyes at the honor when Irina and Jack purposely sprung it on them right before the ceremony began catching them off guard with smiles.

The third and fourth were Kendall and Judy who were equally astonished and thrilled. Katya and Marcelo along with Sergei and Sophia were asked to be Godparents of the twins as they'd already shown their love and devotion with their life saving efforts in bringing them into the world.

The last Godmother to be asked was the beautiful actress, Lena, and now great friend who had become so close with the family in making the films, sharing in such a huge part of their lives, that Jack and Irina both wanted to show her how much she meant to them and their family by officially making her part of it as a Godmother to both Nadia and Nicholas, the sole Godparent to them both. She now stood holding Nicholas with Judy and Sophia beside her, holding the candle and Nicholas's two Godfathers, Sergei and Ryan stood to her left. Opposite of them, Katya held her Goddaughter and niece Nadia cradled in her arms with her other Godmother, Ann standing beside her holding Nadia's candle and her Godfathers Kendall and Marcelo.

So many people standing in that circle backed up with the thousands in the congregation behind them all with nothing but love, honor and strength for the two little babies each was vowing in their own way to protect and support for the rest of their lives.

* * *

"You know what this Godfather gig also makes you?" Weiss nudged Kendall handing him a glass of champagne at the reception following in Peterhof Palace by the now frozen sea, decorated immaculately with billions of white lights illuminating off the snow and making everything magical.

"If you say a Monkey's Uncle, Mr. Weiss," Kendall took the champagne and then looked down to the gorgeous baby girl all in white sleeping soundly in the crook of his arm, "I think Irina might have your head for calling her child a primate."

"That's not what I was going to say, but…" Weiss just shook his head, "We're you trying to be funny just then? Was that… were you making a joke?"

"He does have a sense of humor you know," Judy smiled coming up beside them and curling into Kendall's side, brushing her lips over the top of Nadia's head, "I'm trying to bring it out more."

"Uh, yeah…" Weiss shook his head again with a soft smile, "Anyway, like I was saying… this Godparent gig also makes you an Official member of the Her Majesty's Imperial Court. Welcome." He clinked his champagne glass with theirs and winked at their surprised looks, "Now you too, get to wear the Monkey's suit you're so fond of poking fun of us for, Kendall."

"Wonderful." Kendall rolled his eyes though internally smiling and surprised by the happiness he felt at feeling like he really was part of something spectacular.

"I can't wait to see you in that dashing red uniform," Judy winked at him and then kissed his cheek making him blush and Weiss giggled into his champagne knowing what she was really saying, 'can't wait to see you out of that uniform.'

"By the way, how's that going to work for you? Being the Director of the CIA and you," Weiss looked at Judy, "The CIA shrink and member's of Her Majesty's Imperial Court, Godparents to the Grand Duke and Duchess of Russia?" He asked smugly and loving the look of surprise he got from them again.

"I, I don't know…" Kendall stammered looking down at the baby in his arms and then at Irina on Jack's arm looking so regal and… _Russian_.

"I've already spoken with Her Majesty," President Bush had heard the end of the conversation and turned with a smile, "Not to worry. It's all been arranged one way or another."

"One way or another?" Judy asked with a smile and raised eyebrows of curiosity.

"Knowing how Derevko's mind works that could be many things." Kendall snickered and the other's laughed softly.

"Not Derevko, Kendall!" Weiss nudged him again with a playful stern look in his eyes, "This is a formal setting you oaf! Her Majesty, The Empress, Tsarina, The Tsar, Her Imperial Highness, pick a title! And besides, she's not Derevko anymore, she's another Bristow."

**_*This Years Love*_**

"Well, that's just something I still can't wrap my head around." Kendall shook his head with a small smile.

"Which part?" The First Lady asked on her husband's arm smiling.

"All of it! That's she's the Tsar of Imperial Russia and that she's a Bristow," He smiled still shaking his head, "I know it of course, it's just…"

"Amazing." Judy finished for him with an enormous smile and another brush of her lips to Nadia's head watching with everyone else as Jack and Irina took the floor for their first dance, "Beautiful."

"You are simply stunning, My Love." Jack whispered into Irina's ear, gliding with her gently around the floor with all eyes on them, "I love you, Irina. More so with every beat of my heart… Thank you."

"No Jack, thank you." Irina pulled back to look at him with tears in her eyes and a smile in her eyes, "For choosing me, for loving me, for completing me. I love you, Jonathan… forever and always."

"Woman," Jack laughed softly, "Haven't you figured you by now that I no more chose you than my body's will to breathe? I need you. It's the simple truth. I cannot fully exist without you. You're in my very being. The other half of my soul."

When his thumb wiped the fallen tear she leaned up and closed the distance, kissing his lips and holding him close, drinking in as much of him as she could in that moment before whispering against them, "I love you."

"Mama, Dad-dy!" Lena pointed to them dancing from her perch in Sydney's arm with a smile.

"That's right, Beautiful." Sydney smiled with tears in her eyes and pride in her voice, "That's our Mommy and Daddy."

"They really are so beautiful together." Carrie smiled dabbing at her own eyes and leaning into Marshall's kiss when he targeted her temple.

"No two people deserve it more." Katya smiled, leaning her own head into Marcelo's shoulder and resting her palm on his chest when he wrapped his arm around her.

After their dance ended and everyone else joined in for a while, everyone sat for dinner and had a great time chatting and laughing as they mingled on such a happy occasion.

When dinner was finished and the official evening was over, their immediate friends and family made the trip back to Alexander Palace for their own private celebration to celebrate Jack and Irina's Anniversary before going to bed. A cake was wheeled out to mark the occasion of their Anniversary and Weiss felt that someone else was left out and it was his responsibility in his slightly intoxicated state to say something.

"Hey now, guys, I know, it's not Lena's birthday but shouldn't she at least get a Happy Conception cake or something?" He asked with a look of all sincerity on his face and the room erupted in laughter.

Vaughn snorted his champagne through his nose and grabbed at his friends sleeve.

"Oh man, what the hell?" He tried and failed miserably to stop laughing.

"What? I feel it my duty as a Godfather to stand up for my Godchild and I think she's being short-changed here. I mean, none of us would probably be here right now if not for her 'immaculate conception," He turned to Irina with a hand on her arm and a dazed smile on his lips, "And I do mean 'immaculate'," He winked at both her and Jack giving them a mini- 'not- worthy' bow before continuing, "Two years ago on this night in a jungle land far… far… far away." He smiled closing his eyes and speaking in an almost sing-song voice and then giggled, taking another sip of his champagne but failing as he thought of something else to add, "So I just think we should pay some homage or something to her… or it… for this." He waved his hands around and everyone laughed, "Or was this one of those things… you guys were going to celebrate later with… whip-cream and cheesecake?" He giggled and snorted and Sophia quickly jumped up and took his arm.

"Ok Mr. Tipsy, you're done," Sophia smiled, sitting on his lap to keep him from getting up and trying not to laugh even though everyone else already was.

"What? I'm not saying anything bad!" Weiss exaggerated his last word only making her giggle more, "Just wait until they get the gift from their kiddies," He joined her giggling and Irina's eyebrow quirked more. "And the one I added to it." He snickered.

"Gifts! What a glorious idea!" Sydney quickly prompted the conversation into another area blushing madly and shaking her head with laughter at her friend and her parents. Lena was excited to sit on her mother's lap and tear open packages for both their anniversary and her siblings' baptism.

"And the last gift." Sydney handed a plain white card and envelope to Irina with tears in her eyes, holding Nadia in her chair beside her mother and Julian standing beside her holding Nicholas. He knelt down carefully and called Lena to his side and she immediately scrambled down from Irina's lap and to her big brother with a smile, always loving his kisses and knowing there was excitement in the air with the sudden stillness in the room.

"This is from all of us. Your kids… with much love, pride and devotion… we love both of you more than you'll ever know," Sydney sniffled shifting Nadia against her chest and palming the back of the baby's tiny head in her hand, resting her cheek against her sister's in a moment of comfort and love.

"It only took Sydney and I, a moment of discussion to decide on what to give you," Julian added with a smile, cradling the baby in one arm and Lena into his side with the other arm, "And we both agreed instantly that we believed it was the perfect gift. We hope you'll agree."

Irina already had tears in her eyes just from listening to them and looking at them all before her now. She swallowed hard and turned to Jack who prompted her to go ahead and open it with a slight nod.

Her fingers were shaking when she slid out a single black and white photograph of their rundown beach bungalow in Mexico with a date written across the bottom… Exactly six weeks from the twin's birth and the night after the Oscars.

"You got us a weekend away," Irina gasped in a whisper, batting at her falling tears, "In Mexico."

"No," Sydney shook her head with a smile and tears running down her face, startling both her parents and bringing both faces to her attention, "Not just a weekend. The bungalow… the beach…it's all yours."

Irina gasped instantly as did Katya with hands to their mouths and Irina's tears surged forward.

"I can't believe you… its so thoughtful… its, its… I love it and its perfect," She cried, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around all of them, "I love you. It's perfect." She chanted, hugging them all tightly and overcome with emotion that her children, would be the ones to give them such a meaningful gift and one they'd never knew they wanted so much until this moment.

Jack joined her in hugging them all and everyone else clapped in a standing ovation with tears in their eyes knowing just how much this gift, this place meant to Jack and Irina and especially, that it was given to them by their children which meant all the more knowing that their lost brother was conceived in great love there and had such an emotional pull on both their parents.

Irina proceeded to repeatedly kiss each of her children through her tears with a smile that held so much love and warmth, that Sydney and Julian couldn't stop smiling either.

"I figured you'd take these two with you," Sydney whispered with her forehead pressed to her mother's fingers linked behind her neck and looking down at Nadia before nodding over to Nicholas, "As they're pretty content to just eat and sleep and I greatly look forward to the opportunity of having some alone time with Lena to sisterly-bond and do girly things." She giggled wiping at her tears and then her mothers, "I love you, Mom, Happy Anniversary."

"I love you, Sydney Anne, and thank you." Irina pulled her in to kiss her lips and then a hug, careful of the baby girl between them. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Lena's yawn and sleepy eye rub and smiled, "I think the Snuggle Bug is ready for bed. I'll be back." She kissed Sydney and Nadia again with smiles before moving over to her sons, doing the same and then scooping up Lena.

Lena waved her goodnights but was too tired by the end and had already snuggled in against Irina as they made their way up the stairs with Jack guiding them carefully, everyone else watching them go.

"Jack, I left her yellow bear in our bedroom after her nap. Could you go get it please?" Irina asked sweetly setting Lena on her changing table in the nursery and removing her regalia and clothes getting her ready for bed.

"Of course." He kissed her temple and then Lena's naked neck making her giggle before departing in search of the infamous unnamed yellow bear.

**_*Fairy Dance*_**

Jack looked high and low and finally found it jammed into a drawer at the bottom of a shelving unit in Irina's massive Walk-In closet, remembering their little mischievous daughter had been playing in there while her mother was getting ready.

When he returned to the Nursery, he leaned in the door jam just watching them with a smile on his face as Irina held her to her chest as she did every night, standing in front of the enormous glass windows and looking at the moon with Lena as she recited '_Goodnight Moon'_ to her. It was always a beautiful sight and he loved to hear Lena cooing over and over, _"Moon, moon!"_ then blowing it kisses when Irina was finished.

Irina's eyes caught his when she turned, smiling as she quietly made her way towards Lena's crib and he met her there with the bear.

Together and silently, they tucked Lena in and kissed her goodnight, watching as she rolled onto her stomach as she always did, thumb into her mouth and legs pulled up under her with little butt in the air falling asleep instantly.

It had taken almost a week once home to get her to sleep in her crib again and both Jack and Irina missed her warm little body after having gotten used to it in their bed.

Jack wrapped his arms around Irina as both stood in awe for a moment watching their beautiful sleeping angel as her soft lullabies filled the room and the moonlight filtered in through the window, the delicate fairies that decorated her room dancing about whimsically.

"Happy Conception, Lena." Irina whispered with a smile and Jack chuckled.

"Happy Conception, Mama." He turned his face into her ear, whispering and kissing it as they sway slightly together.

"Happy Conception, Dad-dy." Irina mimicked Lena's recitation of his name with a soft laugh, reaching one hand up to grab his neck gently and turned her face to his, kissing him deeply.

* * *

_Filmore, California - Kashmir Set of 'Absolution Part: Four'_

"Irina, you are absolutely 'not' going to do this!" Jack practically stamped his foot standing on the roof of the set building rigged with explosives set to go off any minute, watching as the helicopter below turned on and its blades began to whir lifting it from the ground and the film crews signaled they were all ready.

"Jack, I am absolutely going to do this." Irina calmly replied right back, "I've done this many times before and Lena can't." She nodded over to her actress friend who had shoulder surgery just two days ago from the last attempt at doing this, and now stood with Sydney and everyone else as they all wanted to come along to watch Irina in action once more and quite possibly for the last time in their lives knowing she'd retired from such things in the 'real world.'

"Yes, I know! I realize this but why can't you do this wearing the safety harness?" Jack was scared for her knowing how dangerous this was and having almost lost her just weeks ago was not ready to tempt fate so quickly again.

This stunt was the last shot they needed to finish the fourth film and it was 'he and Irina' leaping from the roof of the prison in Kashmir that had turned to a burning inferno.

Victor, the man playing Jack, was already gearing up with a wire safety harness that was attached to a safety line above the building and extending over for the ledge jump to keep them from falling into the burning inferno below or out of the helicopter, but Irina refused to wear it if she was going to do this stunt for the injured actress. And she would allow no one else to try after Lena got hurt. She would do it or no one and it was essential to the film.

"Because I'm not used to doing it with a safety harness, Jack and I'm more likely to get hurt trying to adjust to that then just doing it!" Irina argued while the make-up people fixed her blood matted and wild hair and touched up her fake blood and bruises in a very surreal experience, "Trust me! Please, I can do this." She pleaded with him to understand and knowing why he was concerned but she knew she could do it.

"But you just had twins by Emergency C-section six weeks ago!" Jack stepped closer to her with his heart pounding in his chest. Jack rarely argued with her these days but when it came to her safety, he was almost psychotic about it now.

"Jack, Alexei cleared me and I'm fine, I promise. I wouldn't be doing this now if I didn't think I was in the shape to." Irina softened her tone giving him a small smile knowing his concerns and why, "Trust me. Please, My Love. I can do this and I won't get hurt."

"You can't guarantee that." Jack sighed, cupping the side of her face, to hell with the hair and make up people. Seeing her in the replica dress, torn and blood soaked, her face bruised and bloodied just as it had been that horrific night sent shivers down his spine and roiled his gut remembering yet another time he'd almost lost her. "And I love you far too much to lose you now… doing something like this!"

"You won't lose me, not like this." Irina smiled wider and kissed his lips soundly. "Trust me?"

Jack nodded solemnly his consent seeing he really wasn't going to change her mind and he trusted her, that wasn't the problem… he just didn't trust the other elements like those that had gone wrong when Lena was injured. He walked over to the crane hoist where a platform and the camera with JJ had been set up as the primary film camera though the shot would be filmed with eight different cameras from various directions so they only had to do this take once.

The door closed to the platform and it pulled back from where the building's roof would begin exploding and caving into the fire below on command and everyone's blood began to pound in their veins.

"She's really going to do this." Bella gasped finding her mouth dry from their' own observation space on the ground and at a safe distance. "And without a safety harness?" Her eyes flashed over to Sydney and Lena, and then the woman's arm in an immobilizer again from this last surgery to repair the damage done from performing this before.

"So it seems." Lena was equally anxious as all their eyes were glued to the roof and the signal of 'go.'

"I have faith in her." Weiss smiled with a nod, wrapping his arms around Sophia from behind feeling his own adrenaline building remembering the night this scene was based upon and seeing the real flashes of Irina and Jack tearing across the caving roof from his seat as the pilot of helicopter.

"Me too." Sydney smiled believing now more than ever her mother was capable of just about anything when it came to stuff like this.

Irina nodded at Jack with a smile before disappearing with Victor down the stairs in the replica door that she and Jack had burst through that evening.

On JJ's command of "Roll tape!" their hearts began to pound, "Roll Sound!" And the, "Fire," as the inferno lit up the night sky and the outdoor set. The set had been built near the town of Filmore in the California mountains and desert region just north of Los Angeles that resembled Kashmir. "Chopper go!" he spoke another command into his headset and the helicopter with cast inside began to rise, "Action!" He yelled and instantly the roof door flew open and Victor and Irina burst through and began running at full speed with the roof caving in behind them just as it had that night only this time on timed blasts, though the danger was just as real without her in a harness.

Jack held his breath along with everyone else during the entire scene and gasped when she launched herself into the air, over the ledge and into the helicopter which pitched from the heat blast just as it had that night from the direction of the stunt pilot.

"Cut! We got it!" JJ yelled with a smiled and jumped up while everyone went nuts clapping with excitement.

"Holy-shit! She is The Man!" Weiss hooted with a smile, watching as the helicopter with Irina inside touched down.

"Through filming all these scenes of insanity, I kept telling myself, trying to grasp it that she had _really_ done these insane things written on my script in real life," Lena shook her head in awe, "But seeing her actually in action… and doing them… is unbelievable. I'm just in awe." She smiled.

"You and me both… every time." Weiss smiled and then kissed Sophia's cheek excitedly.

Irina walked towards Jack with a smile not even thinking 'I told you so' but only focused on his eyes and his lips, claiming them immediately when she was in his arms.

"I love you, Jack Bristow." She whispered against his face as he held her tightly to his chest, lifting her from the ground so that only her toes touched down. '_And I'll never forget that you came for me_,' went unsaid but Jack still saw it flash in her eyes and his heart skipped a beat. _'This is why she wanted this to be 'exactly' right, for how much it meant to her and her entire life story to this point...It meant everything. Her life coming full circle._'

"I'll always come for you." Jack voiced his response aloud seeing the flicker of surprise in her eyes and smiling softly, "I love you, Irina Bristow… forever and always, you are my love."

His lips locked with hers in another searing kiss that only broke when everyone broke into applause and whistles around them.

* * *

_Los Angeles, California - March 2004 Academy Awards_

"Dude! I can't believe we're at the Oscars!" Weiss bounced happily in his seat squealing with glee like a schoolgirl and grabbing Vaughn's arm next to him.

"Seriously, calm down before you make a scene." Vaughn shook his head trying not to laugh and straightened his Imperial jacket trying to sit up straight.

"But that's what the Oscars are all about… making scenes!" Weiss laughed and Sophia put her hand over her eyes shaking her head and smiling with laughter. "We're so totally going to kick ass tonight… the smell of victory is in the air, baby!" He whispered and had his whole row laughing at his enthusiasm while they waited for the show to start.

"Shhh! It's starting." Sydney giggled with anticipation as the lights flickered and everyone quickly took their seats that were still lingering around.

The lights dimmed as an enormous film screen began to glow before them and immediate laughter rose to hysteria when the first sights and sounds appeared.

**_*The Oscar Mix*_**

The scene opened with the music from Irina's Spanish Heist, like right out of the film following her gorgeous legs up the staircase in high heels only it wasn't Lena's gorgeous smooth tan legs they were seeing now onscreen but the hairy ones of Billy Crystal.

They roared with laughter when the camera pulled back in the exact same way as the film to reveal his whole body in the same red dress and tears were flooding their eyes when he adjusted his fake boobs and flipped his brunette wig hair over his shoulder.

When Dubey grabbed his arm and pulled him away Billy slapped him and said, "Oh I don't have time for this!" in an exasperated tone and they roared again seeing the look on Dubey's face and then watched as Billy stole the Winner envelope for Best Picture from the office instead of the disk and then shimmied out very ungracefully onto the ledge and tried to shimmy across falling and flailing disappearing out of sight.

The laughter continued to roar when he popped up back onscreen as Francie in headgear dancing to Thriller.

"Oh shit this is hilarious!" Vaughn was bright red bursting with laughter watching Billy as Francie in headgear dancing with Sydney onscreen.

When he was on his way out he snagged the envelope for Best Director and when the scene changed to him as Irina washing the car to My Sharona spews of laughter had people rolling in their seats watching him in short cutoffs and wet t-shirt with fake boobs and the brunette wig again that he tossed the hair over his shoulder in slow motion washing the car seductively and then chasing little Sydney with the hose.

"Ah ha!" He shouted when he grabbed her and pulled the envelope for Best Actor from her overall pocket.

Another roar of laughter went up when he surfaced in the cave in place of Julian, right next to Irina and looked up at the ceiling of the cave. Instead of the golden moon it was the envelope for Best Actress and his hilarious commentary as he watched her climb the rope and then flip off had them dying with tears in their eyes.

"Jeezus woman who's your chiropractor? Nadia Comaneci?" He grimaced holding his back when she surfaced with a smile and handed him the envelope. It was brilliant special effects and editing as they used the original footage and Lena's actions with his matte painting.

When the song changed to the very distinct rhythms of the famous toaster scene Weiss was roaring with laughter when Irina onscreen attacked Billy with her kiss holding the bottle of rum and leaving lipstick all over his face in an exaggerated way while he munched on some burnt toast and pulled back to say, "You know all you had to do was ask… if you wanted me to come back to host the Oscars. But the rum and toast are nice, thanks." He barely got out before she smothered his words with a kiss and pulled him off screen.

When he came back onscreen the whole theatre was gasping for breath in between laughs seeing him dressed again like Irina in the brown wig only shirtless with fake boobs in black bra and pants running down the hall in Ireland, stealing an Oscar statue from the vault instead of the prism and then pressing the beacon in his bra for the helicopter, screaming for his life as he ran and then 'owe, owe' when the squibs of fake blood blew up resembling bullet wounds.

When he lunged for the helicopter off the cliff and Julian's outstretched hand he hung on with one arm just as she did and suddenly from the ceiling before the screen on stage, a prop helicopter appeared with Billy Crystal hanging on the skid with one arm in the black bra and pants lowering him to the ground and everyone was on their feet clapping and laughing hysterically, especially Irina who nodded at him with a raging smile when he detached himself from the skid and took a bow in her direction giving her props and then Lena.

He smiled and bowed again, "Notice there were only clips from Absolution films involved in that montage… face it people, if you weren't in either of those films this past year, you're either here to present the awards to those who were or you're just here to meet the beautiful Russian Tsar," He bowed to Irina again through the laughter, tossing his long wig hair over his shoulder again, before adjusting his 'boob's dramatically.

That sent a wave of laughter racing through the theatre and Irina blushing, biting her lip.

"Or maybe you're hopeful you can get the Imperials intoxicated enough at the After Parties to get an invitation to one of those immaculate palaces… I've faced it, that's why I'm here." He winked through another roar of laughter, "Welcome everyone to the 76th Annual Academy Awards." He smiled and bowed again before breaking into a dance mimicking that of the Riverdance to go along with the song. When that laughter had finally died down a bit he went on.

"If you've been alive at all this past year, you know that this was a record breaking year in film history as well as the history of the world with the introduction of the most extraordinary woman on the planet." As he began to talk the screen behind him read _Best Picture Nominee: Absolution: Part One_ and the theme song began to play.

**_*Tania*_**

"The first film nominated for Best Picture this evening is Absolution: Part One. The jumping off point in a four part series recounting the remarkable true-life events of one woman and her family in a dramatic retelling of a their life story through espionage, war, love and lies."

The screen turned into a montage of clips from the film, beginning with Irina in front of St. Basil's as a child and then bouncing through to her life with Jack and then extraction and horrendous time in prison that had some gasping softly still with the horrific images already breaking them into blurry tears.

As the awards went on, it was clear that they were cleaning up holding most of the nominations in each of the categories.

"How are they doing?" Irina asked as she slipped into the VIP Room backstage reserved just for her where Carrie and Marshall were tending to the twins.

With the show four hours long, it was three feedings for each and no way Irina could pump that much or go for that long without pumping so early after having twins. She'd done enough to get them through their first feeding and she was here to do the second and would be back to do the third when the show ended.

"They're good but hungry again." Marshall looked like he was sweating but was smiling as he looked at the gorgeous woman before him and then to the flat screen showing the awards show below. "Lot's of wins so far." He smiled and turned his gaze back to Irina who was already releasing the snap on her halter top dress exposing the tops of both breasts before he whipped his head back again with a straight tight smile and balking eyes. "I can a step out if you a want me to a… you know if you want some privacy."

"It's okay, Marshall." Irina smiled and laughed softly with Carrie as she settled both twins nursing them both at the same time, "You can stay."

"Okay, then I'll just… watch the show." He elongated his words in a ramble and kept his body facing forward watching the screen.

"Men are such babies about breasts," Carrie whispered to Irina, laughing softly with her as she helped adjust the nursing pillow supporting Nadia on Irina's left side, "How many minutes do you have before you present?"

"Twenty-two and counting," Irina's eyes flickered to the wall clock with a smile and then down to her precious babies. "I'd much rather be here doing this with them," She fingers both their tiny heads with her thumbs, "Than going out there," She sighed. "I'm excited though, to give this award as it's all of 'our girls' in this category. They all deserve it in my opinion…that's what I hate about award shows." She shook her head watching Billy do another funny skit on the television screen before them.

Irina saw that she had three minutes before going on and set Nicholas into the Moses basket along with his sister when he'd finished eating and had fallen asleep.

She and Carrie both 'awed' when she kissed both babies before leaving and Nicholas made a squeaking noise and grunt at being disturbed and then covered his face where his mother had just kissed it with his tiny hand, a disgruntled look on his face when he moved it away and hit Nadia who made her own noise of being annoyed.

"Our next presenter really needs no introduction," Billy smiled brightly, now changed into his tuxedo as the host and bouncing on his heels with nervousness as well as clear excitement. "She's a former KGB spy, mafia leader, assassin, and military General. She's also a classical pianist, ballerina, a novelist, a goodwill ambassador, philanthropist, an explorer, a humanitarian, a martial arts master, a should-have-been Olympian, a genius, a professor, an action hero, a Ruling Tsar, a wife and a mother who just gave birth to twins six short weeks ago though looking at her you can't tell and that's just to name a few." He chuckled and Jack smiled with pride eager to see his wife take the stage for the first time in the evening.

**_*Back In Black*_**

Her introductory song came on and instantly there were whistles and clapping of appreciation with Weiss laughing in hysteria again when Irina appeared behind the sliding walls looking spectacularly gorgeous in a black form fitting full length dress, her hair was up and looking sensational under and around her crown and the glorious diamond necklace of Imperial jewels seemed to make her glow if the smile on her face already didn't illuminate her enough.

The audience stood and gave a long, standing ovation showing their appreciation and respect for the remarkable woman.

"Thank you and good evening," Irina greeted everyone with her beautiful smile when the music and applause died down. "Tonight I was given the tremendous honor of announcing the nominees of the four fabulous actresses in a Supporting Role that I've come to know and love. Four of these women and one beautiful and enchanting little girl played the roles of the most important women in my life… my daughter, my sister, my mother and even myself." She smiled fingering the envelope in her hands when the audience chuckled as Lena was nominated for playing both Anya and Irina in the films. She read off the names of the nominees and the roles they played with a clip for each behind them showing a sample of their brilliant work before flashing to their live pictures in the audience where all held nervous smiles.

"And the Oscar for Best Performance of an Actress in a Supporting Role goes to…" Irina removed the card with steady hands as silence fell over the beautiful Kodak Theatre. Her smiled raged and she shook her head in amazement

**_*In Dreams*_**

"Jennifer Affleck for the role of Sydney Bristow in _Absolution: Part Two_… and," She stressed the and, and a gasp arose as Jennifer paused with wide excited eyes in the row to see who else won with her, hoping it was Lena as her scenes in Kashmir were astounding and she had certainly thought she was going to win. "Lena Olin for the role of Irina Derevko in _Absolution: Part One_…" Irina finished with a giant teary smile watching Lena and Jennifer smiling in joy and gasping that they both won and everyone in her party was jumping for joy with Weiss shoving his fist in the air jumping up and down.

Sydney grabbed them both and hugged them dearly crying in happiness before letting them pass, a bit in shock someone was winning an Oscar for playing her and watched as they helped each other on stage and then were engulfed in a huge hug by her mother. Irina kissed them both, whispering something briefly to each that only they would hear and then stepped back after handing them each their well-deserved Oscars.

"This is unbelievable." Lena smiled through her tears, clutching her Oscar with her hand sticking out from her sling and Jen's hand with the other. "Thank you." She laughed when everyone continued to applaud the duo receiving the awards for both giving such brilliant performances.

She stood off to the side and let Jen thank everyone they needed to and then added her own thanks to her loving husband and family and both, thanked everyone in the Imperial Family but especially Sydney and Irina for leading such spectacular lives and being such extraordinary women. The orchestra cut them off before they could say all they wanted to and each vowed internally to thank the women they played on their own when they weren't going to be cut off by a crazy conductor.

**_*I Surrender*_**

When Celine performed '_I Surrender'_ as the last song nominated for _Best Original Song_, images from the film played behind her, and everyone blinked back tears that finally fell when it was Jack, who came on stage, surprising everyone when he gave Irina the Oscar for the song she had written in a letter to him.

Her acceptance speech of three simple words, repeated in two languages, "I love you" staring madly into Jack's eyes as if they were the only people in the room brought on another standing ovation. She won again, along with Jack, Sydney and JJ for _Best Adapted Screenplay for Absolution: Part Two._

**_*Dragula*_**

"You know," Billy began what was bound to be another hilarious commentary. "I realized why we have a such a big problem with drugs in this country. If we had a Mother like this, we'd all be as pure as the Virgin Mary."

The screen behind them flashed to the caravan of Humvees from the film with Irina looking lethal in black leather going after the Drug Lords and Mafia Leaders and then blasting the shit out of them and igniting the drugs. And right in time with Irina holding her gun on the sniveling little weasel in the warehouse Billy added his own commentary for the man with his own hands up in mock surrender, "Gee Mom, I never touched the stuff I swear… I mean, I never inhaled!"

They were all holding their sides from laughing so hard and erupted again when a giant poster of Irina walking away from the burning inferno drug warehouse, looking sexy and lethal with '_Just Say No to Drugs_!' flashed up on the screen after.

"I'm so getting a copy of that poster." Weiss snorted with laughter.

**_*Disco Science*_**

A raging swarm of screaming girls and young women from up in the balcony showed their appreciation for the gorgeous, buff man who played Dubey when he was introduced with the naughty whip-cracking song from the film where he got busy with Irina in her office and walked on stage to present the award for _Best Editing_.

Weiss found it particularly hilarious that they'd chosen this song to introduce the Dubey guy by with a flash of images in the beginning stages of hot sex with Lena as Irina from that scene, briefly flashing behind him.

"Good evening." Dwayne 'The Rock,' greeted everyone in his deep sexy voice and the girls went nuts again leaving Jack to shake his head in wonder leaning on his elbow with fingers drumming on his lips trying to act calm and not be jealous realizing that would be absurd. Irina winked at him, laughing softly that he was so cute and smiling softly at her in return and then leaned over, moving his hand and sealing his lips with a hot kiss that drew an equal hoot of enthusiasm from their section leaving many to wander what was going on over there.

When that award was over, Billy came back on stage.

"There's been an interesting reveal on South Park this week, Ladies and Gentlemen, have you heard this?" He walked around on stage showing the image of Kenny from _South Park_ cartoon behind him onscreen, "Kenny, it was revealed this week, is actually The Chosen One…"

**_*Page 47*_**

The screen showed a page like that of Page 47 from the Rambaldi Manual and instead of depicting Irina's picture it was of Kenny in his hood and everyone died in laughter, "That's why he can die in every episode and always be back in the next."

They couldn't contain their laughter that he'd taken something actually traumatic in Irina's many tangos with death and mixed it with the bizarre of Rambaldi and hilarity of _South Park_. The camera kept flashing on Irina to see her reactions and she was laughing just as hard as everyone else.

**_*Like Toy Soldiers*_**

Everyone jumped to their feet with thunderous applause when it was little David who won Best Actor in a _Supporting Role_ for his performance as little Julian. His performance really had been phenomenal not just for someone his age but as the Oscar showed, plain phenomenal. The cute little blonde headed curly kid with the same sparkling blue eyes summed it all up with his first shocked words of, "Wow," in his acceptance speech. He immediately thanked Lena first for being such a 'fantastic stage mother and actress to work with' in a voice far beyond his years, one that sounded exactly-like her brother, to Sydney.

He then thanked Julian and everyone else and when it was over he sat on Julian's lap for the rest of the show with his Oscar tightly clutched in his hand and feeling pretty cool not only for his win but for the kisses he kept receiving from all the women in the Imperial Family, especially the Empress with whom he was completely smitten, and the actresses who played them.

**_*The Gael *_**

"And the Academy Award for _Actress in a Leading Role_ goes to…" The presenter announced, "Lena Olin for the role of Irina Derevko in _Absolution: Part Two_." He smiled and everyone in their section jumped up with joy while the announcer gave the voice over of, "This is Lena's first win for Actress in a Leading Role and second win of the evening for her portrayal of Irina Derevko. The first of the evening for Actress in a Supporting Role."

A spectacular montage of clips from the second film of Lena played across the screen in the background ending with the real scene of her flipping the chair and escaping in Ireland that Billy had mimicked when she took the stage, with raging tears streaming down her face.

"First, I have to thank my family… I love you and thank you for supporting me in the role that has taken me around the world and away from you for the better part of a year… A role that has made you all worried with my insisting I do my own stunts and resulting injuries." She smiled through her tears with a small laugh lifting her arm in the sling slightly while everyone else laughed and cried with her. "I have to thank JJ for his brilliant directing and guidance through this immense adventure and last but certainly not least, I have to thank the incredibly brave woman who led the life that I am now receiving this award for portraying." She held up her Oscar and held back her tears staring straight at Irina in the audience. "She is the most courageous, strong and loving person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I am honored… so honored that you chose me… that you believed in me enough… to step into these enormous shoes and tell _your_ story. This has been the role of a lifetime and my experience in re-enacting your life, and telling this story to the world, through the joy and the sorrow has changed my life immensely. Anyone who has worked on these films knows what I am talking about, the huge responsibility to get it right and the pride of doing it well. I've gained so much from doing these films that I am thankful for, but mostly for the life-long friends I've made… and for the sister I always wanted and have gained in you. I love you, Your Majesty." She smiled and laughed at addressing Irina as such in such an enormous way in public, "I am so proud to have been a part of this experience… thank you." She kissed her fingers and blew the kiss towards Irina, in a move that was so like Irina, with rivers of silent tears streaming down her face.

Bella and Mikhail were snuggled up with the Tsarevicha on the couch at the Bristow home in Los Angeles as acting babysitter's for the night watching the awards on the television and crying right along with everyone else at Lena's speech and thank you to Irina whom they were continually amazed with her bravery and courage to tell this story and expose herself in such raw form.

When they won for _Best Actor in a Leading Role_, the man who portrayed Jack thanked him in much the same way as well as the entire Imperial Family and everyone he worked with for being part of such a fantastic life changing experience and with pride that he was a part of it.

"The next time anyone complains about how hard their job of pushing paper is or standing around waiting for their scene to be lit, they should remember this…"

**_*Misirlou*_**

Billy introduced the montage showing clips from _Absolution: Part Two_, mostly of the insanity Lena was doing as Irina for the third film nominated for Best Picture of the evening.

"Still recovering from surgery on her shoulder only four days ago from performing some of that insanity, everyone join me giving a warm welcome back to the gorgeous and tough star of the _Absolution_ series, two time Academy Award winner this evening, Lena Olin." He clapped and everyone jumped to their feet to applaud Lena who looked stunning and absolutely glowing in happiness in her navy blue dress and matching blue sling carrying the envelope for _Best Director_.

**_*Tania*_**

It was no big surprise to anyone when JJ won having been nominated for both films and winning for the second. His sentiment was the same as everyone else's in that he was never more proud to be a part of something than these films and what an immense experience it was and still was, he laughed as he finished editing the fourth, to work on such an incredible story and with such incredible people.

"I've decided that the Absolution series needs something more fun or catchy for their subtitles then just naming them parts One, Two, Three and Four." Billy fingered his chin as though he was thinking, "Those guys with _The Lord of the Rings_ found some interesting names; maybe we could expand on those. Yes, I think the first one should be, '_Absolution Part One: The Courtship of Spies_." He announced and everyone roared with laughter, "And the second," he continued, "_Absolution Part Two: The Two Decades_."

"Oh God, he's hilarious!" Sydney couldn't stop laughing.

"_Absolution Part Three: The Return of The Man and The Mother_," He announced and had them rolling. "Or my personal favorite, _Absolution Part Three: The Molten Hot Gravity of Love_'… Whoo! Yeah, you all know what I'm talking about." He fanned himself as though hot and another surge of laughter rang through the audience. "And finally the yet unseen fourth film, though we all know how its going to end and STILL pay $2 billion dollars to go and see it like we did the first three, '_Absolution Part Four: The Return of the Tsar._"

They were all wiping tears from their eyes when the presenter came on and announced the nominees for _Best Picture_ together for a final time.

**_*Nara*_**

"And the Academy Award for _Best Picture_ goes to… Irina Bristow, Jack Bristow and JJ McAbrams for _Absolution: Part Two_." He smiled clapping.

The three Producers stood up and were hugged and kissed and congratulated by everyone in their row as they ushered everyone out involved in both films to the stage with them with amazing clips from the film on the screen once again behind them.

And once more there was a standing ovation filling the theatre with teary eyed audience members erupting in applause for the film, its spectacular cast and crew and especially the real life people standing beside them all from hence the events were based.

"Thank you all so very much." Irina began, holding the Oscar for _Best Picture_ with Jack and JJ to one side of her and Katya, Lena and Sydney to the other. Everyone else was slightly behind them in their excitement and Weiss was having a hard time containing himself at being on stage. "I have to say that this is completely unexpected as I never thought," She laughed softly wiping at her tears and then reaching for Jack's hand, "That I'd be standing here at the Academy Awards receiving an Oscar for _Best Picture_. It is still very surreal to me, to all of us… as this is my life, our life… and the reason I am here today is because so many encouraged me to share my story with the world. I'm not a filmmaker, that is JJ's brilliance and expertise and I thank him for telling our story so truthfully and honestly… even when it was tough," Her eyes watered with tears, "The only way I would let it be told. I want to thank the brilliant cast and crew for your endless hours of dedication, blood, sweat and tears that you pored into your work in portraying our life everyday," She smiled over at Lena, "I want to thank everyone around the world who helped make these films possible… and I want to thank my people and my native country," She switched to Russian, "For opening your hearts and accepting me inside, for believing in me and for your kindness." She switched back to English, "And thank you to my other homeland of America and all the countries of the world I've called home in the past thirty years. I want to thank my family for allowing me to tell your stories in telling mine for I could not exist without you." She inhaled a shaking breath with raining tears and thick emotion as she looked at Sydney, Katya and Julian. "I love you all dearly. And last but certainly not least, I want to thank my husband," She thumbed away a single tear falling from his own eye with a smile, "For loving me… forever and always." She cupped his face and kissed his lips with a loud rush of cheers behind them and in front of them.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Irina asked with smiling eyes still filled with excitement staring across the limo she, Jack and the twins shared with Sydney, Vaughn, Julian and Ash after the awards. The others were in additional limos but theirs' had veered off from the path at the last stoplight.

"We're not going anywhere… you are." Sydney smiled and winked over at Julian who was wearing a matching dubious smile.

"Sydney, Sweetheart… we're not even packed." Irina looked at her with wide astonished eyes having no idea they were leaving now, at two in the morning after such a crazy evening.

"It's already taken care of." Sydney smiled with pride at being able to pull this off like her mother had for she and Vaughn on their honeymoon, "Everything's all set and there's a change of clothes for each of you on the plane to travel in so you can get out of that stunning evening wear." She stood holding onto Irina's hand on the Van Nuys tarmac where the small personal jet was waiting to take her parents away to Mexico, "We'll see you four on Tuesday for dinner, okay?" She smiled with tears in her eyes, pulling her mother in for a hug and careful of her sleeping baby brother in Irina's arms. "Let me say Goodnight to them," She pulled back the blanket enough to kiss Nicholas sleeping against her mother and then did the same with Nadia already in her car seat, asleep and sucking furiously on her pacifier. "I love you both," She kissed both parents, "and have a good time." She smiled with a giggle.

Julian stepped in to hug them both, as did Ash and Vaughn who were also with them, wishing them well and sending them off with smiles.

"Just think, in thirty minutes you'll be on the beach in Rosarita." Vaughn smiled as Sydney snuggled into his side. "Have fun."

"We will." Jack smiled, grasping Vaughn's hand with a smile before placing his hand on the small of Irina's back to guide her to the plane.

"I love you." Sydney waved when they were about to duck inside with tears streaming down her face in a mixture of emotions.

"We love you… all of you." Irina turned around with the same tear stained face and smiled, kissing her fingers and blowing them all a kiss before going inside.

* * *

**_*Together *_**

_Rosarito, Mexico_

"Well… we should go in." Jack smiled over at his gorgeous wife as they stood outside on the beach with the sand between their toes in the moonlight staring at the bungalow with the waves crashing behind them.

They'd been standing there in silence, looking at the place in awestruck fashion for the last five minutes with Jack holding both sleeping babies in their car seat carriers and Irina with a diaper bag slung over one shoulder and tears already streaming down her face at being back in this spot with him.

Irina swallowed hard and nodded, leading the way through the warm sand in the middle of the night. Her hand touched the worn wood of the sand aged door and pushed gently as she turned the knob, a million emotions flooding through her when she flicked on the light in the corner on the nightstand and gazed around the room for the first time in more then twenty years.

Only a few things had changed. It had been cleaned up but most everything remained the same. The bed frame was the same but with a new mattress and crisp white linen sheets, exact replicas of the old. On the nightstand beside her were, a small CD player and a Webster's Dictionary that made them both laugh softly when their gaze fell there.

Beside the bed there were now two bassinets, one for each baby and Irina smiled when she pulled open the top drawer to the tall dresser near her, and found new clothes already waiting. On the end of the bed were three wrapped packages labeled _One, Two _and_ Three_, each with a note beside them, the first two in Sydney's scrawl and the last in Eric's.

Carefully, Irina let the bag fall from her shoulder onto the bed as she sat down next to the packages and Jack set the babies down in front of them, joining her on the bed's edge.

"_Mom and Dad, we know how much this place means to you… more so with every new thing we learn about the two of you and the significance this place holds. We also know that such a special place has stood the test of time because of a very special Guardian Angel_…" Irina read with a tear filled voice, already shaking as she nodded at Jack to open the package. Both instantly had tears in their eyes when Jack revealed a gorgeous plaque of glass with angel wings and halo on the top.

The frosted inscription read, '_Our Guardian Angel- Baby Jack Bristow- November 27th, 1981- All Our Love, Mommy, Daddy, Sydney, Julian, Lena, Nicholas and Nadia._' Two tiny footprints of a baby roughly the same size his were when he was born were resting at the bottom just under, '_Your footprints will forever be in our hearts_,' written in Russian mixing his two heritages.

Their son had never been given a proper Memorial or recognized in life or death an any way other than what they'd spoken of him or acknowledged in the film, this made him seem so real and his loss felt that much more to Jack, it surprised him and touched him in a way beyond words with such a gift.

Irina was almost on autopilot as she removed the second letter, frozen with flashbacks of his perfect little form in her arms and now seeing his name written out in a Memorial, finally given the loving Memorial he deserved and in this place where he had been conceived with so much love. Her voice was barely a whisper and came out cracked when she began to read this one out loud to Jack as well.

"_Mom, after our talk in Red Square that night of the ballet… when you told me what you were doing when I was stealing those mints, I began a little research…"_ Irina stopped reading, gasping softly with hand shaking in front of her mouth.

"Mints?" Jack asked softly with knit brows through his tears in confusion, wrapping his arm around Irina and reading over her shoulder, taking over where she left off, "_Only hoping on a miracle that I would be able to find anything in records and I did… the beat of his heart…_" Jack's voice tapered off as he finished, Irina still as a stone beneath him with the second package in her hands. "_I love you both more than words could ever say, Sydney._"

Irina's fingers trembled and shook as she removed the paper and opened the box, swallowing a sob when she saw the CD that read, _Baby Bristow #2 - October 1981_.

Jack had an idea what this was and with pounding heart gently took the CD from the soft cushioned box as if it was the most precious thing in the world and slid it into the CD player beside them on the nightstand.

The doctor's smiling voice came on first stating the date and time and how many weeks along she was and then, "_Mother is Laura Bristow and this is baby Bristow Number Two's first recording of a heartbeat_."

Irina held back a sob and clutched at Jack's hand holding her breath and then letting it go with a sob when the first washy sounds of their lost baby boy's heartbeat filled the small bungalow. She remembered that the doctors had always recorded it then for records but forgot it existed until this moment, had locked that day away with all the others.

Her eyes were focused on the perfect, sleeping babies in their car seats and ears on the perfect sounding heartbeat surrounding them. She closed her eyes and curled into Jack when he wrapped his arms fully around her, weeping softly together and holding each other in a mixture of emotions with joy at hearing it again and for Jack, a first time, and in sadness that they'd lost him.

They held each other until it was over just a few minutes later and then continued in the silence for a while longer until Irina sniffled, pulling back with smile.

"Our daughter is amazing, isn't she?" She beamed with teary-eyed pride at the love in Sydney's heart that she would think to find something like this and know, how very much it would mean to her mother and her father.

"Yes, she is. Just like her mother." Jack wiped at her tears, chuckling softly when she did the same to his own face and them slowly leaned in to kiss her.

"I'm almost afraid to open this," Irina smiled with a soft laugh, waving the third wrapped package between them.

"Well, considering it's the last and has the Joker's writing on it, I think it's a safe bet that it's meant to make us laugh after the emotional first two." Jack laughed with her, thinking about Weiss and his uncanny ability to make them laugh in spite of any embarrassment to themselves. "Go ahead." He prompted her, kissing her temple and pulling her into his arms and back against him.

Irina read the letter, which simply said, "_Since you two seem to have a 'thing' with special occasions… another note inside the box. Love, Sophia_."

"This can't be good." Jack laughed even before she had the paper off and then burst into laughter with Irina, both falling backwards onto the bed and trying to muffle their laughs with hands over their mouths as to not wake the babies when she pulled out a large pink box of Trojan condoms in the 'Fun Variety Pack.'

"Oh God, what'd he put in the box?" Irina tried to whisper through her laughter as she turned on her side to face Jack on the bed, opening the box and wiping at the tears from laughter on her cheeks. She pulled out the other note and read, "_Don't bother using them as I've poked holes through all them seeing as how the two of you make such fantastically gorgeous babies together in the 'gravity of your love.' Love on Wild Ones, Love on! Love, Eric…_" Irina started laughing again and Jack started shaking his head while she continued, "_Have fun and much love to you both, we really mean it, very proud Godparents to your children, Eric and Sophia_."

Irina's tears came back through her smile and small laughter as she awed the beautiful yet funny statement and then laughed at Jack shaking his head with a smile.

"Apparently they didn't get the memo." He shrugged with a hint of sadness behind his smile he saw in Irina's eyes as well. Alexei had tied Irina's tubes during her C-section.

"Maybe they did and they're still betting on fate to intervene on nature's behalf?" Irina shrugged with an almost wistful smile, "Eric does seem to be the betting type when it comes to me." She laughed, "They probably have a bet going now to see if we do indeed get pregnant on this special occasion as well in spite of having my tubes tied."

As much as she would love to have another child with Jack, she was also thankful the twins would be their last as the last traumatic birth had scared them all greatly, almost losing the babies and herself which would have left her children motherless and that was not something she wanted at all. She was blissfully happy with the miracles she had been given and they were more than enough.

"Those two are crazy," Jack rolled over onto Irina, looking down at her with absolute love and laughter in his eyes.

"Perfect for each other." Irina answered wrapping her arm around Jack's neck and bringing him closer.

"Obviously so as they are both nuttier than squirrel poop." Jack replied with a serious look on his face and Irina immediately burst into a deep hysterical laughter.

"What did you just say?" She could barely breath, bringing him crashing down on top of her, trying to stay quiet and failing miserably, "I can't believe you just said that, Jack Bristow. Nuttier than squirrel poop." She repeated and then burst into laughter again, still giggling against Jack's mouth when he tried to silence her with his kiss.

**_*Mondo Bongo*_**

The kiss turned intense rather quickly with Jack's finger's already pulling up the hem on Irina's shirt and caressing her fiery flesh beneath making her moan softly into his mouth and her palms immediately collide with his chest pushing him away.

"Whoa there, Casanova." Irina smiled slightly out of breath already when she stood, "We need to settle our little blessings of love before you can claim me again… and again… and again." She taunted with those smoky eyes and heavy lashes, reciting in Spanish to him what he'd said that day in the hospital verbatim as she knelt to pick up both baby carriers and set them gently on the bed. Her mouth kissing Nadia's cheek and then Nicholas's before beginning to remove Nadia from her carrier.

Jack stood to help her with a smile, removing Nicholas and checking his diaper one more time before rewrapping him in his blanket and settling him into his own bassinet while Irina did the same with Nadia. Each said their goodnight to the baby and then switched, doing the same with the other.

Jack was continually fascinated by watching Irina with them or as a mother in general, the way she whispered things into their ears when they were sleeping that only they could hear, nuzzling them softly with her nose and face and then kissing them in the lightest of touches between words… he was continually amazed.

"Did I ever tell you… that I love, that you are the mother of my children?" Jack pulled her into his arms when she was finished, "Because I do…love that you are the mother of my children."

"As I love that you're the father of mine." Irina captured his lips with a soft kiss, taking his hand and leading him to the bed where she carefully picked up the glass memorial and set it with fresh tears on the table in front of the window looking out over the beach and ocean lit now only by the light of the moon. She kissed her fingertips and brushed them over her lost son's name.

Jack wrapped his arms around her from behind, his fingers once again sliding beneath the fabric of her shirt and skating up and over her abdomen with delicate touches matched with the kisses he was placing along her neck, slowing making his way up from her shoulder and nuzzling her hair aside as he went. His hand gripped her side and turned her in his embrace as the other cupped her face, staring intently into her eyes.

"I want to look into your eyes… when I make love to you," He smiled running his thumb softly across her cheekbone and earning a teary eyed smile in turn.

Irina closed her eyes and leaned into his palm tasting his kiss when his lips were on hers in the next moment.

"I'm yours, Jack… forever and always. Never forget how much I love you," She smiled pulling back speaking in Russian cementing her truth that she'd revealed so many years before in another language.

His arm swooped under her legs and picked her up, his mouth searing to hers as he carried her to the bed.

"Mine. All mine forever and always," He smiled when he lay her down, his weight settling on top of her claiming her lips in an intense kiss before pulling back and smiling down at her, his fingers brushing the stray strands of hair behind her ear. "I love you, Irina. My wife. My love. My heart and my soul… I love you."

Irina's eyes were filled with unshed tears of happiness as she lifted her head slowly and stare into his eyes before glancing down briefly and then closing them when their searing mouths met once more.


	36. Chapter 36

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer from True Romance (aka the Twins Theme :)**_**, Nothing Compares **_**by Sinead O'Connor**_**, Suavemente **_**by Elvis Crespo**_**, Family Affairs **_**by Mary J. Blige,**_** Pride **_**by U2**_**, First Time Ever I Saw Your Face **_**by Roberta Flack**_**, Walkaway **_**by Thomas Newman from Meet Joe Black Soundtrack,**_** Fried Green Tomatoes Main Theme **_**by Thomas Newman from Fried Green Tomatoes Soundtrack.**

* * *

THIRTY-SIX

o

Irina was lying draped across Jack in the early morning watching as the light reflected through the glass Memorial to her son and cast the room full of spectacular prisms of color making her smile. Jack was sound asleep, exhausted after such a long day and wonderful night, falling asleep not long ago. She was wide-awake with rampant emotions running through her and her smile remained when she carefully slid out of bed.

The discarded sheet was draped across the end of the bed and Irina quickly wrapped it around herself before moving to Nicholas first, removing his sleeper and then Nadia who were both stirring in their sleep about to wake up and cry with hunger.

With arms full and kissing both tiny heads with a smile, she eased out of the old wooden door and onto the little veranda. Her smile only widened when she saw the new hammock in a 'Family Size.' Carefully and with both babies held securely to her chest she slid into the hammock.

**_*The Beach Song*_**

When she was settled Irina pulled her knees up and laid her mostly naked babies back against them, cradling them together in her arms and looking over their entirely perfect forms with a smile. The slight breeze coming off the ocean was already warm and wrapped around them like a cozy familiar blanket.

Nadia's eyes were fluttering open and Irina smiled, nuzzling her baby girl with a kiss when she pulled her fingers into her mouth and started sucking on them with a sleepy look in her eyes. Nicholas's face scrunched up when his sister's arm swept over his own face and slanted his eyebrow opening one eye enough to make Irina laugh softly at their dynamic already.

She traced each perfect little ear with the tips of her fingers and then down and over their tiny little arms, finally filling out a little and not so terribly skinny as they were when first born. Their teeny tiny feet had always been her most favorite part of each of her children and she measured them now against her finger as she did every morning, inspecting them and memorizing everything about them as she'd already done a thousand times before.

Nicholas was the first to speak of his hunger with a tiny squeak when sucking on his fist no longer pacified him and Nadia followed immediate suit.

"Okay, okay…" Irina spoke softly with a soothing voice and smile, pulling down her sheet resituating them with Nadia nursing on her right and Nicholas on her left.

Their little bodies were nestled against her sides and held to her with her arms while her hands and bent knees supported their tiny heads. Both babies were wide-awake and seemingly staring up at her when she began to hum The Russian Lullaby and soon both were drifting off to sleep again while eating happily.

It was only on rare occasions that both babies were actually hungry and nursed at the exact same time and though she cherished her alone time with each, she loved moments like this with both of them equally as much.

Jack's hand swept over the side of the bed before his eyes opened, noticing her absence immediately from first his chest and then his side and he sat up and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand. Irina was gone and looking over into the bassinets, both babies were too.

His fingers picked up the delicate sleepers on the end of bed with the little ducks on them, pulling them to his nose and inhaling the sweet baby scent that still lingered and moved from the bed. He grabbed the light cotton blanket tangled on the bottom of the bed rail and wrapped it around his waist. His lips curled into a smile when he looked out the window and saw her in the hammock with their precious babies sound asleep against her chest and Irina staring out into the ocean.

The tree beside the house was in full bloom with its gorgeous orange flower blossoms and she had plucked one from the nearby hanging branch and stuck it behind her ear making his smile rage that much more at seeing it there again as it had been in his memories.

Jack reached for the baby bag and retrieved the camera with a smile knowing he needed to capture this gorgeous moment. Quietly he opened the door and smiled when Irina's eyes flashed to his with a peace he hadn't seen in a long time. Without a word, he took their picture and then set the camera down on the little table.

"Good morning, Gorgeous." He knelt down beside them, smiling and kissing Irina and then each sleeping baby. "How long have you been awake?" He asked sweetly, running his hand over her arm and kissing her fingers.

"I haven't been to sleep." She smiled, fingering his jaw-line. "Come sit with us." She tugged on his hand and Jack helped her to carefully sit up and eased in behind her, settling with her between his legs and Irina leaning back against his chest with the babies on hers.

They sat in silence watching the dolphins playing in the surf and enjoying each other and their surroundings for the better part of an hour before they heard a familiar voice making them both turn their smiles in his direction.

"Buenos dias, Senor Bristow…" Roberto called out with a smile to Jack that only grew wider when he first laid eyes on Irina and the babies on her chest, having not seen her since he thought she died more than twenty years ago, "Y Senora Bristow!" He waved taking a step through the gate and calling back excitedly to his wife, "Maria, Senora Bristow e aqui con los bambinos!"

Irina was as equally excited to see her old friends who were in there eighties now and looking impeccable and happy. Maria had joined her husband's side and instantly had tears in her eyes when she saw Irina, waving at them with a raging smile.

"Mio Dios." Maria clasped her hands together and closed her eyes in a silent prayer of thanks.

"Don't be shy, come here!" Irina beckoned them over with her hand.

They were about to get out of the hammock when the sweet older Mexican couple waved them back down to stay and their cozy little cuddle.

"That is how we always remember the two of you… in that hammock or tangled in a sheet laughing in the sand." Maria laughed softly wiping at her tears and bending over to kiss Irina, cupping her face and staring into her eye's with wonder. "It's so good to see you again," She kissed Irina again while Roberto shook Jack's hand on the other side of the hammock. "And look at these two gorgeous bambinos!" She lay her soft old hand over Nicholas's bare back, shaking her head in awe as she look between the two and then their parents. "Beautiful."

"Maria, take their picture." Roberto nodded towards the camera and the older woman immediately lit into another smile.

"That's-really you don't have to-" Jack tried to object but was cut off feeling odd about having his picture taken by someone else when only wearing a sheet and blanket with his wife.

"Nonsense, Senor," Roberto shushed him immediately with a smile, "You don't want a picture with your beautiful family?"

The twinkle in his eye before he winked made Irina laugh and she was grateful actually to have someone take their picture with both she and Jack when they had the chance. It was a spectacularly beautiful image that they all smiled over passing the camera around looking at the digital still.

"Your son Julian is extremely charming." Maria smiled clasping Irina's hand and refusing to let go still in awe the woman was alive and in front of her. "We were thrilled when he came here and asked us if we wouldn't mind selling this place to him as a gift for the two of you."

"It only made sense." Roberto added with a smile. "After the film's release we were getting calls for bookings in this place non-stop," He looked around at the bungalow, "But we didn't accept any of them." He turned his smile back to Jack and Irina, "It just didn't feel right. We've always thought of this place as yours and we just couldn't let anyone else intrude on your memories and space here."

"Thank you." Irina smiled getting choked up and running her thumb over the back of Maria's hand, "This place is very special to us."

"We know… and only wish the best for you and yours in this place in the years to come." Maria smiled back at her, kissing Irina's cheek once more and then Jack's and each babies' head. "Now, Roberto and I will leave the four of you alone for now but also want to tell you, that breakfast will be ready in a half hour." Her smile stretched across her face at how easily things fell back into line and how natural and right it was.

"We'll be there." Jack laughed softly shaking Roberto's hand once more and waving to Maria.

"That's good, Senor as I can see in my wife's eyes she's about to jump out of her skin with excitement to hold those glorious bambinos." He winked with a laugh and took hold of Maria's hand.

Jack and Irina couldn't stop smiling and linked fingers watching the older couple walking away down the beach on their own morning walk, hand in hand and still very much in love.

"I want that, Jack… I want to grow old with you. With your hand in mine walking side by side." Irina sighed with a contented smile imagining them thirty or forty years from now doing the same thing.

"We'll have that. You and me… on this beach… walking down the same path… side by side." He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her again and the babies with a smile.

* * *

**_*Nothing Compares*_**

The moment Irina stepped out of the plane and onto the staircase, a smile lit her face to see her girls waiting on the tarmac at the bottom. Just Sydney and Lena were picking them up and they were meeting everyone else at home and then going to the restaurant later and Irina was glad for that.

Her eyes were already filled with tears thinking about Sydney's gifts and her heart had missed both of them so much it literally hurt. She practically ran down the steps and engulfed Lena into her arms as she was running towards her at full speed making both Sydney and Jack laugh at the mutual excitement.

Irina picked Lena up and smothered her in kisses making her daughter laugh and then clasp her cheeks, "Mama!" She squealed with laughter and then kissed Irina.

"Somebody's happy to see you." Jack smiled coming up behind them carrying the car seats with the twins. He set them on the ground as Sydney began walking towards them from the limo.

"Dad-dy!" Lena squealed next leaping from Irina's arms into his making his heart swell at the amount of love he felt from such a tiny being.

"And you too." Irina smiled at him and then turned, closing the distance rapidly the last couple of feet between she and Sydney, holding her tightly. "Thank you, so much. I love you." She cried into her daughter's hair, "I can't you believe you found it… and the Memorial." She pulled back crying and found Sydney doing the same. "It was beautiful, thank you."

"Yes, thank you." Jack's own eyes filled with tears at being able to hear his son's heartbeat because of the love of his daughter.

"You don't have to thank me." Sydney smiled, wiping away her tears and bending over carefully to inspect her other siblings and kiss them 'hello.' Both were still sleeping and she stood, linking arms with her mother while each of them picked up a twin and walked towards the limo with Jack behind them carrying Lena. "So you had a good time?" Sydney asked still sniffling but seeing a radiant glow coming from both parents.

"Yes. We had a fabulous time. It was the perfect gift." Irina smiled, leaning over and kissing Sydney's temple, "You're perfect... and I ask myself everyday what I did to deserve you." Her eyes filled with tears again as she smiled at Sydney.

"I have another gift for you. We," Sydney smiled and pointed over to Lena as she snapped her brother's car seat into place looking across the car at her mother doing the same with Nadia. "Have another gift for you."

"Oh?" Irina's tone rising in question as they settled in, curious about what this could be. "What's the occasion?"

"Just because we love you." Sydney smiled radiantly sitting next to Lena's car seat who, was smiling the same and facing both of their parents in the limo. Sydney reached into her bag and removed a wrapped gift. "We were going to give it to you for Mother's Day but couldn't wait."

Now Irina was extremely curious and tore the paper off to reveal a framed black and white photograph of Lena's hands on Sydney's belly feeling Anya moving.

"Ah…" Irina gasped overcome with tears instantly and smiling.

"Vaughn took it yesterday and I had it framed this morning." Sydney smiled her big dimply grin, seeing her mother's reaction. "So you like it?"

"I love it." Irina smiled widely, "It's absolutely precious. Thank you." She leaned across the car and hugged and kissed Sydney and then Lena who was giggling and kicking her feet wildly always on the move. "I'm going to have to have many copies made because I love it so much! One for here and another for Russia at least!"

* * *

**_*Suavemente*_**

"Did you guys look in the dictionary?" Sydney asked with twinkling eyes when they all sat down for dinner on that night. She passed the enchiladas to her mother with a mischievous grin whom she was sharing with.

They were eating at a Mexican restaurant of all places when they returned that Tuesday evening because Sydney was madly craving cheese enchiladas and had to have them 'now.'

"Yes, we did." Irina smiled shaking her head with slight laughter, "It was _adorable_."

Lena was perched on her lap, both mother and daughter missing each other severely after such a long separation for the first time since it had been forced upon them by Cuvee.

"What?" Vaughn asked clueless taking the hot plate from Irina when it was passed to him while telling Lena 'no' in Russian as her daughter reached for the item in curiosity.

"My esteemed older sister thought it be adorable to paste a photograph of herself under the definition of _adorable_ in the Webster's dictionary she left in their room." Julian smirked shaking his head laughing.

"Well, don't feel left out, Little Brother." Sydney tossed right back at him with a smile, falling into their familiar rhythm of teasing, "I pasted your picture under the definition of _annoying_."

"You didn't?" Julian looked at her with a stricken face, pausing mid-bite of his chip to look at her.

"She did actually." Jack answered, trying not to laugh or smile but failed and the table erupted into laughter, "Don't worry your mother moved it."

"Ah!" Sydney gasped as if affronted Irina had done such a thing. "To where?"

"To '_charming_." Irina smiled thinking about Maria's perfect description of her son.

"Oh please…" Sydney rolled her eyes with another exasperated sigh that had them all laughing again while Sydney blew out a large breath through pursed lips.

"What's wrong sister? Salsa too hot?" Julian smirked then quickly knitted his brows in concern when he saw her grab her belly.

"Sydney?" Irina reached out gently grabbing her daughter's arm in alarm.

"I think I just had a contraction." Sydney's eyes widened turning ghostly pale and Vaughn jumped from his seat beside her.

"But you're not due for another month!" He started to panic when she inhaled another large breath and blew it out.

"Well, neither was Mom!" She flashed her eyes in challenge from him to her mother.

"Okay, okay nobody panic… lets just go calmly to the hospital." Irina was the voice of authority and stood with Lena in her arms. She was only standing about a second before the long table of her family members and friends jumped up into a panicked frenzy with chairs tipping over and people rushing to Sydney's side to help usher her out, other's grabbing sweaters and purses and yet other's grabbing babies, carriers, diaper bags and everything else.

"Wait!" Vaughn yelled out when they were suddenly jam packed around Jack and Irina's Mercedes SUV with Sydney sitting in the front seat, "We all can't get into one car!"

"Everybody get into the car you came in." Irina took charge once again in the mass chaos as she strapped Nadia into her car seat. Jack was finishing with Nicholas and Lena was waiting patiently with wide-eyes on Weiss's hip, "Sydney, not you!" She called out to her daughter when she saw Sydney get out of the front seat, "You can stay!"

"But I drove us here in my car!" Sydney almost whined feeling another contraction already out of the car.

"I'll drive your car, you can ride in here with your father," Irina reached for Lena, and set her in the middle car seat.

"No!" Sydney almost screamed in panic startling all of them as she climbed back in, "I don't want you to leave me, Mom!"

"Okay, calm down." Jack put a hand on Sydney's arm trying not to panic himself at the thought his baby was having a baby, "I'll drive your car and your mother will drive this one."

"But what about Vaughn?" Sydney reached in a pleading voice for her husband, "I want him with me too!"

"Honey, there's not enough room," He waved his hand to the capacity filled SUV with her in the passenger seat, and the backseat occupied by her three siblings in car seats. "He can ride with me," He looked over at his son-in-law who was a bit pale and looking like he'd been electrocuted all at the same time.

"No!" Sydney whined, "He has to be with me too!"

"Okay fine!" Jack tried to reason with her and started helping her out of the car again, "Why don't you, your mother and your husband take your car and I'll drive this one."

"Um… we can't." Vaughn looked around.

"Why not?" Jack snapped losing his patience.

"Because the car is gone. They took it and left." He turned his wide-eyes back to Jack.

In the excitement and chaos, everyone did as were told and got into the cars they came in and left. In Sydney and Vaughn's case, it had been the anxious paternal grandparents to be and Will who took Sydney's car, as that's the one they came in.

"Argh!" Jack wanted to stamp his foot and helped Sydney back inside, pushing Vaughn a little into the side door and the small space between the seats, "Get in. You're going to have to sit on the floor."

"Daddy, where are you going to sit?" Sydney asked as she got situated in the front passenger seat while Irina jumped into the driver's seat.

"Owe!" Jack grabbed his head cursing under his breath when Irina flew over a speed bump in the hospital parking lot and he hit his head on the ceiling in the back where he was wedged with the strollers and baby gear.

"Charlie horse! Charlie horse!" Vaughn grabbed at his calve muscle from being curled into the wedge area on the floor and grimaced in pain as Irina came to a stop in the Emergency loop. Jack practically fell out the back of the car with all the stuff when he opened the back door and Kendall had to stop and laugh at them watching as Irina was immediately trying to extricate Vaughn who was wedged in tightly and holding his leg while Sydney tried to get out of the front seat only to realize she was still buckled in.

"And the circus wouldn't be complete without the Clown Car." He snickered shaking his head looking over at Devlin, "And to think these people were the world's best spies?"

* * *

"I figured you would go with Sydney!" Mikhail threw his arm up in his defense about taking the car when they all clamored in through the front door of the house two hours later after learning it was Braxton Hicks contractions and everything was fine, just a false alarm.

"How Dad, with three car seats in there already plus Sydney and Irina?" Vaughn was flustered as he crashed backwards onto the couch beside where Jack had deposited Sydney.

"All right everyone, just calm down. It's okay. Take a breath." Irina smiled, coming through the door behind them carrying Nicholas in his car seat and Katya was behind her with Nadia and Lena ran between them on fast legs zooming around with all the excitement.

**_*Family Affair *_**

"Now we know, we need a plan of who rides with whom when the real deal happens." Irina brushed her lips across Vaughn's forehead with a smile, knowing he was just like his father and easily flustered and then across Sydney's head on her way by. She set the baby in the car seat on the floor in the living room looking around at everyone after they all piled in and smiled, "Okay then, since we didn't get to eat… where should I order take-out from?"

Everyone began shouting out different things and Carrie grabbed her stomach, "Um guys…" She repeated louder until she got their attention where she was leaning against the dining room table chair, "I think I'm in labor."

"Very funny, Carrie, ha ha!" Weiss mock laughed.

"No really…" She gasped and looked up at them just as her water broke and formed a puddle at her feet on the hardwood floor, "See!"

Everyone was frozen in shock for a moment and that this was really happening again, for real before she called out again on shaking legs, "Somebody… anybody! I'm in labor here! And it's coming fast!" She hissed out through pursed lips as another contraction flooded her body and she hunched over.

Irina was the first to her side, "Okay, we need to start timing your contractions." She gripped Carrie's hand, "Breathe through it, in through your nose out through your mouth… good." She encouraged her while everyone else finally snapped out of it.

"You're leaking!" Marshall gasped loudly, "But you're not due for another month either!" He ran over and slipped in the amniotic fluid falling to the floor and then scrambling up, "I'm sorry about your floor, Your Majesty." He looked around at the puddle, "But you're not due for another month! I'm so sorry about your floor." He kept babbling looking around wildly.

"Well obviously he wants to come now!" Carrie growled at him through clenched teeth as her contraction ended.

"Marshall, don't worry about the floor," Irina smiled at the flustered man, "Hold your wife's hand and she's right… babies have a tendency to come on their schedules, not ours." She spoke in a, soothe calming voice while slowly walking with Carrie towards the door. "Marshall, where are your keys? I'll drive you and Carrie in your Land Rover and the others can follow in their own vehicles." Just looking at the man, anyone could see he was in no shape to drive anywhere. "Please in your panic to leave, don't forget our children..." She smiled teasing Jack and about to ask him a question when Carrie cringed again with another contraction.

"I'm going to pass out." Marshall wavered and held onto the doorframe.

"Put your head between your knees." Irina commanded Marshall. "Another contraction?" She whipped her head back to look at Carrie and had her answer. Her eyes flew to her watch and then back up again, "The contractions are only three minutes apart!" She blew out a deep breath trying to remain calm, "Okay, this baby is coming very quickly, and we all need to move… very fast. Katya, will you please ride with me and help?" She waited for her sister to nod and they hurried out the door with Katya helping to keep Marshall upright. She held Carrie's hand on one side while Marshal held the other in the backseat and Irina jumped into the driver's seat.

"Everybody buckle up." Irina turned her head around to look at them when she snapped her own in place, winking at Marshall, "This is going to be a quick ride."

"Oh God," Marshall started to hyperventilate and fumbled with his seatbelt buckle as Irina put the car into gear and flew around the cars on the street, flooring it and weaving around oncoming traffic and the blaring horns and headlights in the darkness.

"One piece would be preferable, Darling." Katya cooed from the backseat where her knuckles were white from gripping the door handle hanging on for dear life as Irina flew around cars on the freeway. Her other hand gripping Carrie's hand who was equally terrified, not only to be in labor but to be riding all of them, for the first time with Irina when she was 'on a mission.'

"I'm the Godmother, of course I'll get you there in once piece. Hang on this is our Exit." Irina whipped the wheel and flew across the eight lanes of screaming sounds of traffic horns and that of her passengers.

She bit her lip flying through a yellow light almost red and felt the 'whoomp' as they hit a drainage dip and flew into the air and her passengers screamed once again to her amusement. Irina laughed as she fishtailed on loose gravel and slid into the Emergency Exit they had just left not twenty minutes ago.

Popping out of the door and opening the one her side with Katya almost falling out still clinging with a death grip to its handle she smiled.

"See. One piece." Irina held her hand out to her sister helping her out and then Carrie. "Marshall, head between your knees and slow deep breaths." She saw the younger man hyperventilating and motioned for Katya to help him. She helped Carrie into the same wheelchair left in the Exit that Sydney had just vacated while Katya walked on wobbly legs around the car to Marshall.

"We…" He heaved with wide eyes, "Made it."

"Yes." Katya laughed softly shaking her head and looking at her watch, "In three minutes. She's faster than the ambulance."

Ten minutes later in one of the fastest deliveries the doctor had ever seen, Mitchell Joseph Flinkman was born weighing 6 lbs 2oz and 20 inches long.

What Carrie had thought to be indigestion, while they were waiting in the hospital for Sydney from what little Mexican they had eaten, was actually labor pains and contractions.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia - April 17th, 2004 _

"Sydney, can you hand me the ice cream please, Sweetheart? I want to put it away before everyone gets back for the party and I don't want it to melt." Irina dug around in the freezer making room with Lena weaving in and out of her legs giggling into hysteria at playing any game with her sister, which was currently Peek-a-Boo.

Sydney dug around in the grocery bags they'd just brought home after picking up a couple of things for the party in town and found the item her mother wanted.

A sudden twinge went through her lower abdomen and then she felt a warm rush of liquid slide down her bare legs under her skirt. "Um Mom… I think I'm in labor." She looked across the kitchen island to her mother at the refrigerator and Irina wheeled around, almost knocking Lena over but managing to catch her with one hand and hold her steady.

"Are you sure, I mean…" Irina asked hesitantly with wide-eyes of excitement knowing today was indeed Sydney's due date but there had been four false alarms since the night Mitchell was born, two since they got back to Russia including one just last night.

"Yeah… either my water broke or I just peed on myself." Sydney looked at her with a look of shock and horror.

Irina immediately started laughing, and scooped up Lena closing the door with her foot and moving quickly around the island to Sydney, smiling with tears in her eyes at the puddle around her daughters' feet, "It's time."

"But I'm not ready!" Sydney gasped in panic with tears flooding her eyes.

"You never are." Irina smiled cupping Sydney's face and wiping at the falling tear remembering her own feelings at having her first, Sydney, "You're going to be okay and I won't leave your side until Michael gets there."

"Vaughn! Oh my God, Mom!" She almost shouted realizing he wasn't back from Gyrady with everyone else after picking up his grandmother, Talia.

"We'll call them from the hospital and have them meet us there." Irina squeezed Sydney's hand. "I'll walk you to the car and strap Lena in first and then come back for Nadia and Nicholas," She smiled at her sleeping babes still strapped into their car seat from going to town, "Good thing we didn't take them out yet… Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth." She pushed Sydney's long hair behind her ear when she saw her daughter clenching her teeth.

"Okay." Sydney hissed out the breath, "Okay…" She tried to calm down thankful her mother was by her side.

"We'll wait until this contraction passes and then go to the car." Irina smiled and shifted Lena on her hip.

"Nee-Nee ow-wy…" Lena pointed to her sister's belly with lip quivering after seeing Sydney grimace in pain and flashing back to her mother's delivery of the 'be-bees' apparently.

"No, baby," Sydney immediately smiled through her pain, putting on a brave face for her little sister terrified that Lena would slide back into that state of fear and trauma she'd been in when her mother had given birth to the twins. "I'm having the baby. Anya is ready to meet her beautiful Aunt Lena, no ow-wy," She kissed her little fingers and Irina blinked back more tears, smiling and nodding along with Sydney.

"My baby is having a baby." Irina whispered in astonishment to herself with a small gasp and smile and her eyes flashed to Sydney's.

"Mom…" Sydney called out to her in the same astonished whisper with a hint of fear and Irina immediately engulfed her into a hug, holding her tightly with Lena squished in the mix, too.

"Let's go." Irina pulled back after a moment, thumbing away Sydney's tears with a smile, "I can't wait to meet my granddaughter."

* * *

"Where is everyone?" Julian asked looking around when they walked into the kitchen of the palace finding it empty and every other room. The staff had the day off and Dmitri had been with them but they'd been expecting to find Irina, Sydney and the children.

"I don't know but they were here and left in a hurry." Weiss held up the ice cream tub whose top had already popped and melting ice cream was flowing over the top.

All their eyes went wide the moment before Jack's cell phone rang.

"Jack," Irina called her husband once they were at the hospital and Sydney was being settled into her room, just behind Irina by the nurse and Alexei.

"Where are you?" He asked rapidly with a sea of eager faces looking at him expectantly as they continued to pour through the door behind them arriving for Sydney's birthday party.

"We're at the hospital. Sydney's in labor… her water broke." She smiled.

"Her water broke?" He asked again rapidly in disbelief this was real and Irina heard Weiss's, "Ehhh!" of disgust at the same time over the phone when he stepped into the puddle on the floor realizing what it was hearing Jack.

"Will you please bring pajamas for all three of our little ones and Lena's yellow bear… Oh, and her Elmo's World DVD so she has something to occupy her with please." She smiled sweetly on Cloud Nine he could hear over the phone and yet she was flustered Jack could tell.

"Okay, do you need anything?" He asked already moving quickly through the palace and up the stairs into the nurseries to gather the items.

"My slippers. I'm going to be doing a lot of pacing." She smiled and laughed when she heard him do the same, "Thank you, Sweetheart." She had taken a deep breath and sighed. "I love you."

"I love you to, My Love. We'll be there soon." Jack smiled grabbing one of Nadia's sleepers, then Nicholas's and then Lena's pajamas. He zipped into his room and grabbed Irina's slippers and then flew down the stairs ushering everyone out the door.

Two hours had passed with everyone waiting in the Waiting Room and Jack having just finished dressing his three Munchkins for bed with Julian and Weiss's help.

"Those matching pajamas are entirely too sweet." Judy smiled at the matching pairs of footy-zippered giraffe print pajamas that each of the youngest Bristow children wore. Everyone had flown in for the week expecting the birth of the baby along with attending the fourth and final film premiere the night before.

"I was just about to say that." Hayden Chase actually smiled when Lena started to climb up on the sofa beside her. The woman was slowly finding her ease within the group over the past few months. "They look absolutely adorable," She put a guiding hand on Lena's little butt to make sure she didn't fall until the tiny determined girl who looked exactly like her mother, was settled with her books.

"Nelson Mandela sent them when Nadia and Nicholas were born." Jack smiled at how entirely strange that statement would have been to him just two years ago and now it just made sense that this man had sent he and his wife footy giraffe print pajamas for his children.

Weiss was rocking Nadia in one chair and Julian was snuggled with Nicholas against his chest leaning back against Ash on the couch.

Nadia started to fuss and then cry and Weiss looked helplessly at Jack, "She's hungry and I don't have the goods here, Panama." He tried not to laugh when the baby nuzzled her face furiously against his shirt and chest.

"I'll take her to Irina," Jack smiled standing up and reaching for his daughter.

"Dad-dy no! Come too!" Lena scrambled off the couch crying out and running after him on her fast little legs making them all laugh and surprised at how well she was putting words together now.

"Okay, Peanut," Jack paused and held his finger out to her and they all 'awed' watching him walk out of the room and down the hall with his little giraffe beside him toddling and pulling on his finger to move faster towards 'Mama' and carrying another in his arms who was also eager to see the beloved Mama figure.

The nurses who had been working the same night he had been pacing the halls with Lena when the twins were born were lit with raging smiles to see their Imperial Family again, like this, only on a much calmer and less stressful birthing occasion and the Emperor Consort once again adorable with his children.

"Hey, how's it going?" He asked quietly stepping into the room and Lena made a beeline for Irina scrambling up into her lap in the chair beside Sydney's bed.

"Well, she's already at nine." Bella smiled from her own little station in the corner commenting on Sydney's progress.

"Almost there," Irina squeezed Sydney's hand and smiled, at her while Vaughn moved his checkers piece and Sydney quickly jumped him in a triple jump with a smirk.

She'd had her epidural and life was much better especially when she was kicking her husband's butt in checkers.

"I don't have to tell you she's hungry." Jack smiled walking towards his wife who knew her children's cries by heart and was already sliding the strap down her shoulder from her own sundress.

"Lena come sit here with me, Little Buddy." Sydney prompted her little sister, patting the bed beside her seeing her mother was about to have her hands full.

"Sydney, are you sure?" Irina asked when Lena was already climbing over her and onto the bed with Vaughn's help where he sat facing Sydney from the other side.

"Yeah, of course." Sydney smiled kissing the top of Lena's head when she sat down next to her and snuggled under her arm, "She can help me whip her brother-in-law in checkers."

Irina smiled taking the baby from Jack and caressing Nadia's little head with her hand when she latched on and settled down.

"Someone really should take a picture of this," Bella smiled moving to stand and reaching for her son's camera. "We have a mother nursing one daughter while sitting beside the other who is about to give birth to her own daughter and another daughter curled up so sweetly on the bed looking like an angel beside her big sister and the picture of perfection this all is… I just think we need to take a picture." She smiled and laughed along with everyone else at her ramble and at the irony she wanted to capture that indeed did make a beautiful picture.

"Well, this isn't something you see everyday." Alexei smiled as he came into the room, smiling at the same image, "It's a beautiful sight someone should take a picture." He smiled and they all laughed.

"We just did." Bella smiled holding up the camera.

"Good!" The older man smiled with them walking over to check the machines monitoring Sydney's progress, "You're such a beautiful family. I was so proud to deliver your mother, and am equally proud to be delivering your baby, Your Highness," He smiled at Sydney, "I only wish I had been able to deliver you." He touched her on the nose with a smiling laugh in a gesture so very much like that of a grandfather. "Delivering the little Grand Duchess today will be the Third Generation of Romanov women I've delivered. First, I delivered your mother and then her child and now her grandchild, named for her mother, Anastasia, which I'm certain you already know means, resurrection. The rise of the Romanov women again… This is a very proud day for me indeed." His eyes got a bit glassy behind his glasses from unshed tears of pride and happiness when he looked from Irina to her children. "You're progressing along beautifully, Child and it shouldn't be long now." He tweaked Sydney's foot before leaving.

Another twenty minutes had passed before Alexei returned to check on Sydney and announced, "It's time."

Sydney's panic hit full force when the nurses started to put up her bed rails and Irina took Lena from her side, smiling through her tears, "You're going to do fine, Sweetheart. I love you both."

Irina kissed Sydney and then Vaughn on the way out the door and Bella did the same, the two anxious grandmothers holding hands with encouraging smiles to their two panicked looking children about to become parents.

When they joined the rest of the group in the Waiting Room everyone knew it was time and they immediately sat on the edge of their seats in anticipation.

"Vaughn, I'm scared." Sydney clung to his hand while the nurses put her feet up into the stirrups and changed her IV bag, commotion all around while they prepared for the birth.

"I am too." Vaughn admitted with wide-eyes stepping back and taking the scrubs handed to him by another nurse.

**_*Pride*_**

"You're not supposed to tell me that! You're supposed to tell me it's going to be okay!" She cried.

"It's going to be okay!" Vaughn quickly amended himself struggling to tie the string on his scrub pants.

"Now I don't believe you!" She hiccupped and let go of his hand, grabbing the bed rail instead feeling the intense pressure now full force and wanting to push.

"Okay, Sydney… we're ready to push." Alexei smiled up at her before tying his facemask on.

"I want my Mommy!" Sydney began to cry feeling like the only person in the world who could make this better was her mother.

"Sydney, you can do this!" Vaughn tried to encourage her leaning over her and fingering the stray hairs from her face that had fallen from her ponytail, "You just have to keep breathing. In through your nose and out through your mouth."

The contractions were now one long relentless one and Sydney gritted her teeth, "I want Mom! Please!"

"Sydney, you have to calm down and relax. The baby won't come out if you don't relax." Alexei tried to calm her.

"I want my Mom! I want my Mom! I want my Mommy!" Sydney cried again, gripping Vaughn's hand and fisting his shirt, "Please, I want my Mom!"

There had been so many times in the last twenty years she needed her mother and didn't have her; and never more then this moment and if she could have her by her side she wanted her, needed her.

Vaughn looked at Alexei who nodded, both knowing Sydney wasn't about to calm down anytime soon and Irina would probably help.

"I'll go get her." Vaughn kissed her forehead and was spinning to leave when Sydney fisted his shirt tighter.

"No! You can't leave me! I need you!" She cried pulling him closer to her and buried her face into his neck, practically pulling him into the bed with her strength, "I love you please don't leave me."

"I'm not leaving you, Baby. I'm right here." Vaughn kissed her repeatedly with a smile.

"I'll go get her." The nurse smiled and left the room.

"Your Majesty," the nurse called out stepping into the Waiting Room and ceasing Irina's pacing.

"Oh God, is something wrong?" Bella immediately paled, fingers to her mouth and Mikhail right behind her.

"No." The nurse smiled apologetically, "The Grand Duchess is quite scared and worked up and is pleading for her mother. She won't calm down and-"

"Say no more." Irina pivoted and headed for the door with the nurse, not about to let her baby cry for her when she was in pain and scared, remembering giving birth for the first time and wishing that her own mother was by her side.

"Sydney." Irina came through the delivery room doors a minute later already dressed in the mint green scrubs with her own hair pulled back into a ponytail to find her daughter pushing.

"Mom!" Sydney cried again when she saw her in relief when the push was over and reached frantically with the hand that a nurse had been holding on her other side for her mother. Somehow seeing your mother who gave birth to you, made you feel somewhere inside you that you could do it too.

"It's okay, I'm right here." Irina smiled, kissing her daughter's forehead and wrapping both of her hands around Sydney's smiling over at Vaughn, "Deep breaths, Sweetheart." Her voice was so calm and smooth as she spoke she relaxed everyone in the room and Vaughn was glad she was there.

"Ok, Sydney, another push, ready and go!" Alexei commanded.

"Five, four, three, two, one… good Baby, you're doing good!" Vaughn coached her with a smile, kissing her hand.

"Good job, Sweetheart." Irina pushed a sweaty stray hair behind her daughter's ear, smiling over at Vaughn who was doing well as her daughter's coach and both thinking about that moment she was having Lena and speaking of this moment now.

"And again." Alexei instructed.

"Five, four, three, two, one… you're doing great, Sydney!" Vaughn smiled, feeling beads of sweat forming on his own forehead.

"Okay, Sydney, I need a long push this time and we'll see her head, okay?" Alexei looked up at her with encouraging eyes.

"Okay," Sydney barred down and started pushing when her husband started counting, her knuckles turning white gripping his hand and her mother's.

"Two, one! I can see her head!" Alexei smiled excitedly. "She got a lot of dark hair."

"Good Baby, you're doing great!" Vaughn smiled through his own blurry eyes as the tears began to build that this was real and happening.

"Another big push, Your Highness."

"Eight, seven, six, five-" Vaughn counted down.

"Come on, Sweetheart you're doing so well!" Irina's forehead was pressed against Sydney's head speaking softly into her ear knowing this was the hardest part.

"Four, three, two, one!" Vaughn finished.

"And there's her head!" Alexei immediately started suctioning out her mouth and slipped the cord that had wrapped around her neck off, thankful it hadn't been a problem until this point.

"Oh my God…" Vaughn looked down and saw his daughter's little head and swallowed hard to see her.

"Ok Sydney, one more big push and she'll be out!" Alexei smiled behind his mask.

"Come on Syd, six, five, four, three-" They all began the countdown with him.

"Two- and she's here!" Alexei exclaimed the moment the baby slipped into his hands. "She's gorgeous!"

The baby started wailing instantly and they all started crying when he held her up and then placed her on Sydney's stomach, where the nurses began wiping her down.

"Oh my God… she's so beautiful." Sydney cried looking down at the slippery little rigid body wailing on her stomach and looking right at her.

"She's so beautiful." Vaughn cried with tears streaming down his face, kissing Sydney's temple and then lips in disbelief she was really here.

"Daddy, want to cut the cord?" Alexei handed him the scissors and Vaughn snapped into action while Irina hugged Sydney, both crying.

"Sweetheart, you did such a good job! She's perfect. I love you so much. Congratulations," Irina pulled back looking deeply into her daughter's eyes feeling a new mixture of love she hadn't felt before at seeing her own child giving birth, "I'm so proud of you."

"I love you, Mom… thank you for being here." Sydney cried as they both looked down at the baby staring at them and crying.

Alexei picked the baby up and put her on a little exam table so he could check her over for a minute while she was tagged with an ID bracelet and cleaned up further.

"She's perfect!" He wrapped her up, put a little cap on her head and handed her to Vaughn with a raging smile. "Congratulations."

"Hello Sweetheart." Vaughn cried carrying her over to Sydney and Irina, "God, you're beautiful." He couldn't tear the smile off his face looking down at her.

Carefully, he passed her to Sydney who started crying all over again when she looked down into her sweet baby's face.

"Hello Anya," She greeted her baby with a teary smile, "I've been waiting to see you." She laughed with the others when Anya's little lip quivered looking up to focus on the voice she already knew well and then wailed, "It's okay, don't cry."

"I think she's hungry." Irina smiled, wiping at her own tears peering down at her gorgeous granddaughter.

"Sounds that way." Alexei laughed softly from where he was finishing with Sydney.

"I don't know how." Sydney's face immediately looked up panicked to her mother, as did Vaughn, having seen it done now many times but this was different.

"I'll help you." Irina smiled speaking softly and unsnapping Sydney's gown from her shoulder. "Michael, can you pass me that pillow please?" She pointed to the pillow on the counter beside them and the nurse smiled, handing it to him, seeing this patient was well taken care of by the Mother of Russia and the thought only made her smile grow.

Irina motioned for Sydney to lift the baby higher on her chest a second, and then settled the pillow under Sydney's arm and around her front helping her to situate Anya.

"As long as you make sure they have a good latch," Irina smiled watching her granddaughter open her tiny mouth and latch on perfectly, "They know what to do." She laughed softly when Anya started feeding immediately and her hand softly grazed over the baby's head of downy dark hair. "Perfection." She kissed Sydney and then Anya's head.

"Wow…" Sydney was stunned looking down at the tiny body feasting at her breast, "Thank you." She smiled up at her mother with another teary-eyed smile.

"Thank you." Vaughn smiled, reaching over to squeeze Irina's hand with tears still pooling in his eyes as he sat on the edge of the bed in awe, "For everything."

"Nonsense." Irina kissed him and then Sydney again, "You have nothing to thank me for. It's what mothers do." She smiled, speaking in Russian as they always did in Russia. "Now, I'm going to leave the three of you alone to get acquainted here for a few minutes before the rest of the family can't wait any longer to see her." She laughed softly, kissed the baby's head again, running her fingertip over the tiny fingers clinging to Sydney's finger. "Congratulations. I love you both," She ran the fingers from each hand briefly under both Vaughn and Sydney's chin, looking them both in the eyes with love and pride, "And I love you too," She whispered to her granddaughter who she was itching to hold and gaze into her beautiful eyes, already overcome with emotion and knowing she had to go now or breakdown crying seeing her baby have a baby and then seeing the actual baby, hearing her addressed as Anya and thinking so very much about her own mother in this moment.

Irina smiled on her way out the door when she heard Sydney say, "She has your ears," to Vaughn, as they inspected their tiny new daughter just as she and Jack had done with Sydney so many years ago.

"Congratulations Babushka." Alexei caught her arm, walking out beside her and pulled her into a hug with a kiss to her forehead, "You may be a Babushka now, Irina but you'll always be my child," He smiled with pride, cupping her face in the hallway and then kissing both cheeks, "Did you have a chance to look into her eyes yet?" He asked more quietly with his own tears building again still holding her face and looking into Irina's.

"Yes," Irina nodded and the tears slipped from her eyes as she smiled.

"She has your mother's eyes… your eyes." He smiled, thumbing away her tears with his old soft gentle hands, "It was the first thing I noticed when you were born, and the very first thing I noticed with this beautiful child. So much promise in those eyes… your mother lives on." He put his forehead to hers, holding her close for a moment while the activity around them had slowed considerably, unable to hear but watch in fascination the interaction between their Tsar still in scrubs with her head pressed to the older doctor's sharing an intimate moment that made them smile knowing he was like another father to her.

"She is perfect and beautiful and…" Irina announced to all the eager faces when she stepped into the waiting room minutes later, "Absolutely adorable. They're taking her to be weighed and measured right now."

"And Sydney?" Bella asked with tears already raining down her face with a smile.

"Glowing." Irina smiled, reaching out and hugging Bella, "She's fine. They are all doing well."

* * *

Vaughn couldn't tear his eyes away from his daughter's who was quiet now with a full tummy but her eyes were open and looking around while they weighed her.

"I bet you're wondering what all this is, huh?" He whispered to her, holding onto her tiny hand and running his thumb that covered all her fingers gently back and forth. "You are so beautiful, just like your Mommy." He smiled, wiping away his tears that were falling again, "You have your Babushka's eyes." He leaned over staring into her piercing gaze with a smile, "And your Grand-Mama's nose." He lightly grazed one finger over her perfect little nose, "You're so beautiful. Gorgeous."

The nurse slid a tiny white t-shirt over Anya's head and then replaced her little knit cap before swaddling her tightly. "They liked to be wrapped tightly when they are newborns as it reminds them of being in the comfort of the womb." She explained to Vaughn as she folded the last corner of the blanket.

"Yeah, I know." Vaughn smiled, taking the baby from her when she was finished, "I've had a lot of practice." His smile raged looking down at the gorgeous baby who was drifting back to sleep.

"Oh, that's right." The nurse laughed softly, "You've had a lot of practice with the Tsarevicha and recently with the twins."

"Oh! She's so cute!" Sophia squealed when they were all in Sydney's room waiting when Vaughn returned with the baby.

Vaughn smiled passing the baby back to Sydney, "She's 6 lbs 11oz and 21 inches long."

"Oh, can I hold her, please, please, please?" Bella begged clasped hands unable to stand it any longer and they all laughed softly while Vaughn took the baby back and handed her to his mother with a smile.

"Oh she's so beautiful!" Bella instantly had tears in her eyes again while Mikhail joined her side in looking over their grandchild. "Hello gorgeous, I'm your Grand Ma-Ma."

"And I'm your Grand Pa-Pa." Mikhail kissed her little head overjoyed and in disbelief. His eyes flashed up to Irina's with a smile; all these years later and they shared a grandchild. Mikhail held the baby and then he smiled over to Jack, "Anya, I think its time to let your other proud grandfather have a turn, Papa Jack?" He motioned for Jack to come and take the baby with a smile and Jack inhaled a deep breath before picking up his grandchild for the first time.

He held her in front of him, cupped against his forearms so he could look her over and a raging smile lit his face, she was the perfect combination of her two grandmothers and mother and impossibly beautiful.

"She's absolutely gorgeous." He whispered in awe smiling up at Sydney and then over to Irina who was nursing their own baby boy. He couldn't stop the snicker when his brain suddenly short circuited to the fact she was the sexiest Grandma he knew and had to tear his eyes away from the exposed skin of her chest and shoulder wanting to kiss the spot on the curve of her neck and tell her how much he loved her in this moment. His eyes found hers and conveyed just that and Irina smiled at him in response.

* * *

**_*The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face*_**

Hours later, everyone had headed home and Irina was on her way as well, having stayed behind to make sure they were settled before leaving and hoping to kiss Sydney goodnight but not wanting to wake her. The new mother had fallen asleep some time ago and Irina was now alone with Anya in Sydney's room while her daughter slept peacefully beside her. Vaughn was getting cleaned up and for the first time, Irina was able to hold her granddaughter and have some alone time.

She inspected every part of her just as she'd done with her own babies and smiled tracing her perfect little lips with her fingertip. The baby awoke with sleepy eyes and stare straight up into Irina's.

"Hello, My Heart," Irina whispered blinking back tears at staring into another piece of her heart now out there and exposed to the world.

Sydney had awaken to the sound of her mother's voice and with a smile, remained silent on her side with hand curled up under her face watching her mother with her daughter standing by the windows looking out at the moon.

"I'm your Babushka... and I love you to the moon and back," Irina pointed with her finger to the moon and then caressed Anya's cheek with it smiling, "More than the stars in the Heaven's and the grains of sand on Earth… I love you-"

"Forever and always." Sydney added smiling and Irina turned around. "Look at her look at you," Sydney smiled, marveling at her daughter's intense gaze up at her mother, "She already knows you hung the moon."

A solitary tear fell when Irina blinked and she walked slowly over the bed and sat on its edge, leaning over carefully and kissing Sydney's temple.

"I love you, Sweetheart… so much." She brushed the hair behind Sydney's ear as her daughter turned over to look up at her.

"I understand now." Sydney's own tears welled, as she took hold of her mother's hand, gazing from her daughter back to Irina, "What you meant when you said I wouldn't understand how deeply you loved me until I looked into my own child's eyes. I do now. I really do." She cried, "And I love you, Mom… so much. I'm so glad you're here."

Irina leaned over again, cupping the back of Sydney's neck and pressing her forehead to her daughter's as they both cried with eyes closed, just holding onto each other in the moment.

Vaughn paused inside the doorway, stopping mid-stride and smiling. Before he could back out, Irina's senses picked up the intrusion and pulled back, smiling at her son-in-law.

Carefully, she passed the baby to Sydney, kissing Anya's sweet little forehead and then her daughter's once more.

"I'll be back in the morning. If you need anything, call. Happy Birthday." She smiled, dropping another quick kiss to Sydney's lips with an, "I love you" and "Goodnight, Sweetheart."

"Katya stayed behind." Vaughn smiled at her, seeing the surprise flicker in Irina's eyes, "She's waiting in the lobby for you."

Irina nodded and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly and then kissing his forehead.

"I love you, Michael." She pulled back, cupping his face and smiling as she stared into his eyes.

Vaughn swallowed hard. Irina had told him before that she'd loved him and he'd said it in return with Sydney but never had she looked him so deeply in the eye, with him having her complete attention and hearing her say those words with his name.

It was a direct hit in his heart and he felt new tears welling, "I love you, too." He smiled looking at her with the same intensity and a nod before kissing her cheek and hugging her once more. "Babushka." He added softly smiling over her shoulder and heard her soft laugh at her new title and she held him more tightly.

Sydney was an emotional pile of goo watching the exchange and batted at the river of silent tears falling from her eyes with a smile when her mother gave a little wave before disappearing out the door.

* * *

**_*Walkaway*_**

Katya stood nervously in the lobby, smelling the bouquet of flowers in her hand for the hundredth time since she'd had them delivered a half hour ago. Her eyes locked onto Irina's the moment her sister rounded the corner giving her a sheepish smile.

Irina's eyes glittered with tears as she walked slowly up to Katya glancing at the bouquet of white roses and Baby's Breath in her hands, a hint of question in her eyes, had her sister read her mind?

Katya handed the flowers to her with a nervous smile, the look in her eyes let Irina know she had indeed known where she was going.

"How is it that you know me so well?" Irina asked softly, gripping Katya's hand and walking towards the door with the flowers in her other hand, wondering again, after most of their life apart, how it was that her sister knew her so well.

"Your heart has never changed." Katya gave Irina's hand a brief squeeze, "And it's the part of Mama in each of us that speaks to each other without the need for words." She whispered into Irina's ear as their hips bounced off each other walking towards the car. "May I come with you?" She asked hesitantly, having never gone to see their mother before with her sister.

Even though they'd talked about it and she'd told Irina she forgave her long ago for the reasons their mother was killed, she was still nervous about going with her, not wanting to intrude and if truth be told, she was scared and still feeling guilty to be in the space with her mother and sister and the legacy of her death that had kept them apart for so many years.

She knew that Irina would be going on this evening, had seen the look in her sister's eyes as she told Jack she would follow behind them and be home later. It made sense to her, that Irina would visit their mother after the birth of her first grandchild, a granddaughter that would not be in existence had their mother's life not been sacrificed so that Sydney could live.

**_*Fried Green Tomatoes Main Theme*_**

This was what their mother had wanted, had shown and told Irina in her last moments… for her daughter to have a life filled with love and her granddaughter and life to go on. And it was going on. Anastasia had given her life for her grandchild and today the circle had been completed when her namesake was born to that grandchild. Her life and death had, had meaning and she was resurrected today in the face of the angel baby born with her eyes and ensuring her real legacy would go on, one of an undying and undeniable love between a mother and child…a piece of her heart given to Irina… given to Sydney and given to baby Anya.

When Katya had seen the look in Irina's eyes, realizing where she would be going, she fully understood then, what this day meant to her sister. It couldn't be chance but fate that her sister's first granddaughter, an impossibly perfect gift from Heaven, already named for their mother, Anastasia and meaning 'resurrection'... had been born on her daughter's birthday, the grandchild that their mother had lost her life for. Her sacrifice had given Sydney continued life and in turn, Sydney had given her grandmother continued life today by giving birth to her own daughter.

The feeling inside her own chest and heart was monumental and she could only imagine what her sister must be feeling. She stopped walking when Irina did and her gaze only wavered slightly when her sister's intense dark eyes searched her own depths before answering the question.

Irina immediately began to cry in silent rivers through her smile, staring into Katya's eyes so touched that her sister would want to come with her. She too had been afraid to visit their mother together even after having been granted forgiveness by her sister, afraid that by doing so, she'd be reminded of why it was their mother had died and perhaps the gap they'd been trying so hard to close would widen once more.

Looking into her eyes now, she saw that Katya really understood what this day meant to her, and in turn, Irina saw what it meant for Katya too… a new and complete understanding and acceptance that hadn't been thought of or realized until the birth of this baby, until they both had looked into her eyes and saw the circle completed ensuring their mother's death had not been in vain and that her legacy of life and love would go on and be the one remembered from this day forward.

"I'd like that." Irina answered in barely a whisper with a smile, pulling Katya into her arms and holding her tightly in the parking lot.

As they both knelt at Anastasia's tomb, Irina placing the bouquet on its top, the sisters held hands while their others they placed with palms out onto the marble wall encasing their mother in front of them, connecting the three of them once more and closing the gap between them from her death, forevermore.

It was late by the time they'd gotten home and Jack was waiting up for Irina in their room while everyone else had already gone to bed. Katya had told him on the way out of the hospital they might be late and he guessed by the look in her eyes and then thinking about Irina's, where they were going. He was sitting up reading, both babies asleep on his chest when she walked in the door and paused with a smile. Her eyes were still red and puffy from crying, her hair was wild in a loose ponytail with stray wispy curls around her face and still in the mint green scrubs he knew she'd keep forever now, most likely going into the Hope Chest and to him she'd never looked more beautiful.

The sight of him with their little 'giraffe' babies on his chest melted her heart and Irina couldn't stop the smile from growing as she walked towards them and sat on the edge of the bed, kissing his lips and then each of their little heads.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, tilting her face up to look him in the eyes.

"Better then okay, Papa Jack." Irina smiled and then laughed softly kissing his lips again, "Can you believe we're grandparents?" She asked nuzzling her own tiny babies heads and looking up at him.

"No, I can't." Jack smiled, "But she's absolutely perfect."

"Of course she is," Irina shrugged sitting back with a raging smile, "She's Sydney's." She pulled off from the bed and began taking off her clothes, stripping down and saying to 'hell' with putting on any pajamas tonight as with nursing the twins every two hours she was constantly having to remove them and knowing what day it was, Jack would discard them anyway.

When she started pulling her hair out of the messy ponytail standing only in her black satin panties she could feel Jack's eyes on her and turned.

"You've got to be the sexiest Babushka I've ever seen in my life." Jack smiled shaking his head in amazement at her perfect body with scars and all. Her form bouncing back as it had with Lena at an incredible speed, sadly due to her inability to keep weight on.

"Not all Babushkas are round plump elderly women with scarves on their heads wearing shawls." Irina laughed walking towards the bed and shaking out her long hair, "Give me a few years and I might fit that description though." She smiled sliding across the enormous bed and taking Nicholas who was already stirring and about to wake up ready to eat.

"I highly doubt that." Jack chuckled at the image of Irina in that description, "You seem to be in the reverse aging process with those Rambaldi genetics of yours. Alexei said you're aging ten or fifteen years behind your real age and anyone looking at you can see that."

Jack looked at her mostly naked form in front of where she was now nursing their son who'd barely made a peep and didn't skip a beat in sleeping before his Mama was feeding him and meeting his needs, "I, on the other hand," He snorted with held back laughter shaking his head, "In twenty years am going to be looking very much like 'Papa Jack' and you'll 'still' be the sexiest Babushka in the world."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Irina smiled coyly and then laughed running her thumb over Nicholas's ear while he nursed, "But I happen to think you're an 'extremely sexy' Papa Jack… and I know I'll still feel that way in twenty years." She smiled loving that they were talking about such a distant future and imagining them there but also not wanting to hurry it along, "But lets not get ahead of ourselves here. I happen to think time is moving much too quickly these days as is," She looked over at Nadia and then down at Nicholas already seeing how much they'd changed in just three months, "I want to savor the here and now."

"As do I," Jack smiled mischievously brushing his lips over Nadia's head, "And plan to as soon as you're done nursing our children." He laughed with Irina when she did, "It is Sydney's birthday after all, or well… was…" He smiled looking at the clock and seeing it was indeed a new day, "And we always make love on Sydney's birthday and that of all our children. Not that we need special days to make love as every day with you is special and there are few and far between days that I 'don't' make love to you now that I have you back..." He chuckled with a naughty grin thinking about how happy he was.

"Well, it will take us years of making love daily," Irina smiled seductively, "To make up for those missing twenty years worth." She laughed softly bouncing up on her knees from where she'd been sitting with crossed legs in front of him with the grace only a dancer-slash-ninja could perform making him laugh with that thought as she kissed him. "I love you… never forget that." She brushed her nose with his.

"And you never forget, that I love you." He kissed her back with a smile.


	37. Chapter 37

_**AN: Music the chapter (on repeat): Good Life **_**by OneRepublic**_**, Adiemus **_**by Karl Jenkins**_**, **_

* * *

THIRTY-SEVEN

o

**_*Good Life*_**

When both twins were fed Irina put them in their now separate bassinets and climbed into bed with Jack. He rolled over onto her, resting his weight on his elbows at her sides and using his fingers to brush the hair from her face smiling down at her.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered in continued awe looking into her eyes before slowly descending his lips onto hers.

His tongue sliding past her lips into her mouth and touching briefly with her own before the kiss deepened and a tiny moan escape from the back of her throat with need. Her sounds had always encouraged him and flamed his passion and his hands tangled into her hair spilling across the pillow pressing his lower body against hers and feeling the raging heat emanating from her already.

Jack couldn't tear the smile off his face in the morning when he was brushing his teeth and Lena kept pressing her face against the glass shower wall just as Sydney had when she was little. Lena was in the shower with Irina getting ready to go back to the hospital and her tiny hands were smearing around the steam collecting on the doors while Irina knelt down on her haunches and lathered her daughter's hair in shampoo. Irina broke out into laughter when Lena mimicked her movements and then knelt over on her own little haunches seeing her Mama doing it. Her little hands started flying wildly around in her bubbly hair trying to help and giggling seeing her Mama smiling and laughing.

Watching the two of them behind the steamy glass, giggling and laughing, having fun with the simple things, Jack sighed in contentment in love with his life. They were beautiful.

Nicholas and Nadia were on the floor in their own respective bouncy seats, watching the activity in the bathroom with fascination listening to the sights and sounds each having been bathed by Irina with Lena as her 'somewhat' helper before the two of them jumped in the shower.

"Do you want me to dress them?" Jack asked smiling, kneeling down on eye level with Irina and Lena on the outside of the shower glass laughing when Lena smashed her face into the glass again looking at him and squealing 'Dad-dy!'

The twins were both bathed and diapered now snuggled into giant white warm fluffy towels but still naked. He knew Irina was going to dress them with Lena but he didn't want her to have to cut her time playing with Lena as they were having so much fun in the shower.

"I promise I won't put them into something horrible that doesn't match if you give me another chance." Jack laughed remembering fondly the look on her face and everyone else's when he brought them downstairs a week ago having dressed them all wrong. He'd just grabbed two outfits not really paying attention to what he was doing and Nicholas ended up in Nadia's pink flower and kitty sleeper while Nadia ended up in an orange and blue Onzie that was her brother's and purple pants with pink socks.

Irina and Sydney promptly changed them shaking their heads that he couldn't see what was wrong.

"That would be lovely, thank you." Irina smiled putting her palm up to the glass and Jack did the same, both feeling a rush of emotions run through them of memories of the last time they'd done this, her Execution, under far sadder terms. Her smile widened seeing the look in his eyes and sent another prayer of thanks Heaven ward before kissing the glass and laughing softly taking her hand away. Lena attempted to do the same and both laughed aloud seeing her little slobbery mouth kissing the glass for Jack.

Jack returned the kiss between the glass for both of them, holding Irina's eyes with a smile and then pivoting to pick up Nadia first and then Nicholas.

When he was at the door Irina stopped him, "Jack, with Nicholas getting his factor this morning, can you please make sure he's in something loose and comfortable… easy to take off and put on." She added with a smile though her voice still held an edge of sadness for her little boy. Every six weeks for the first year of life he would need to receive the blood factor from his mother to aid his clotting. Towards the end of the six weeks, it became obvious why and that he needed it when the factor began to wear out. Bathing him this morning she'd already noticed two fingerprint bruises forming just from where she held him while bathing. "Be extra careful dressing him please," She added softly already feeling guilty, "I already bruised him bathing him this morning."

Jack nodded swallowing the dryness suddenly in his throat feeling badly for her that she still felt guilt at giving their son Hemophilia. Her researchers at the Universities were already working relentlessly on new treatments and possible cures, with Irina donating her own blood with its remarkable properties to the effort for study and he had no doubt, that with time, his wife could and would accomplish a miracle. When it came to her children, she was relentless in every aspect in ensuring their safety and happiness.

He carried them into the nursery they were now sharing, but in separate cribs, until their own rooms were finished by the brilliant decorator Iliyah. With their clothes now separated and in their own dressers and wardrobes he wouldn't make the same mistake again of mixing their clothing, he smiled grabbing outfits for each, a footy pajama sleeper for Nicholas and cute denim jumper, long sleeve pink Onzie to go under it and the little ruffle butt tights that he loved so much and matched Lena's for Nadia.

Today, he would get their clothing right he smiled bringing them back into his room and laying them on his bed where it was easier to dress them. He unraveled Nicholas first while Nadia watched him, happily sucking on her fist and saw the deep purple bruises in the shape of Irina's fingers under their son's arm and around his back where she'd been holding him protectively to wash him in the tub. Even with her gentle touches, the bruises any-such contact left were harsh.

"How are you doing, Cowboy?" Jack asked carefully pulling the undershirt Onzie over his head that was standard under all their clothing at this age to keep warm especially in Russia.

He threaded his arms through with the utmost of care and barest of touches before snapping it closed between his long skinny legs, Irina's legs, Jack had to smile looking at his son's knees. With that accomplished he picked Nicholas up and then set him gently over his pajama sleeper and dressed him talking to them both the entire time and making faces. He kissed his son gently, inhaling the scent of baby he loved so much and moved onto Nadia. Her outfit was much more complicated and he was just sliding her tights on when Irina emerged from the bathroom carrying Lena and both wrapped in the white towels looking entirely beautiful and exactly the same with their dark hair and intense eyes.

"How's it going?" She smiled pulling her wet hair over one shoulder and looking over her gorgeous babies wiggling around on the bed in their awake state, little fisted hands moving about.

"Good. Almost finished here." Jack smiled unsnapping the straps on Nadia's jumper and preparing to put it on as the final touch, "I'd be more than happy to dress the Peanut while you get ready." He smiled at Lena whose hand was on Irina's neck as it always was, hanging on and patting her mother's skin with her drumming fingers.

Irina didn't say anything, only arched her eyebrow in love with her husband for being so helpful.

"Ok, that would be nice thank you. I'll go get her clothes for you at least." She smiled and stopped to kiss his face before breezing by him out the door in the hallway with Lena.

"Good morning." Irina smiled feeling devilish when she met Judy, Kendall, Julian, Weiss and Marshall in the hallway unexpectedly this early in the morning on the way to Lena's room.

All had stopped dead in their tracks at the sight before them, Irina in only a towel, all wet and carrying Lena, three of the five noticeably swallowing hard and she was continuously amused by being able to stun them on occasion into silence. She grabbed Julian's forearm walking up to him, planting a kiss to the side of his mouth and did the same with the others and Judy was the only one to greet her back with a kiss and a smile, of "Good morning to you, too," and without another word, Irina continued on her way.

Judy just smiled, shaking her head watching them all watch her go and used her finger to close Kendall's mouth as he stood gaping in shock. She tried not to laugh when he immediately snapped upright as if he hadn't been staring.

"Hot damn, sexiest Grandma I've ever seen." Weiss whispered under his breath when Irina was further down the hall, turning to watch her go and then disappear into the room right as his eyes had skimmed up her legs and hit the part of her thigh where the towel snapped him out of it. He turned looking Julian in the eye and then laughing as he slapped him on the arm, "Whoo!" He whistled as the five continued on down the stairs, "That's one helluva mother you've got there, Julian… I'm the luckiest man in the world, yes I am, to be marrying a Romanov-Derevko woman." He smiled thinking about his own gorgeous Wild Thing he loved so much and was sexy as hell.

* * *

"How's our Little Prince doing?" Katya asked softly coming in to sit beside Irina who was rocking Nicholas after the donating and receiving process was over. She'd been visiting with Sydney just a few doors over and had decided to come over and sit with her sister and nephew when Jack had come in to say, they were finished and would be in shortly after Irina was done nursing him; having yet to see Sydney, Vaughn or Anya this morning.

"Good but tired. It wears him out so much… but he's always so good." Irina looked down at him with fresh tears building in her eyes behind her smile, "Hardly cries at all when they stick him for the transfusion." She hated that her baby had to go through such things.

"He's brave like his Mama," Katya smiled at her perfect nephew who was looking a bit pale and it broke her heart to see them both like this, the baby so fragile right now and Irina so upset with guilt and helplessness in her eyes.

"How are Sydney and the baby?" Irina asked changing subjects and fingering her son's tiny ones, a true smile lighting her eyes.

"Beautiful." Katya smiled accepting the change, "They were playing with Anya's hair when I left. Michael seems fascinated with her Mohawk and said he was hoping that she'd have one too."

"Yes," Irina laughed, "He was always playing with Lena's and I've seen him feathering Nadia's as well. I understand why though now, after seeing the film and his reaction to Sydney's baby picture."

"It was the first picture he'd seen of Sydney as a baby," Katya nodded in understanding with her own smile remembering that part in the film and realizing that it was already then, Vaughn had been envisioning having children with her niece.

"Umhmm." Irina nodded with a smile having the same thought Katya was and so happy for her daughter and son-in-law, "He's been waiting for this baby for some time… longer then I think he realized… probably as far back as before he would even admit to himself that he was in love with Sydney, he'd thought about what their children would be like. I did the same with Jack." She shrugged with a small laugh shaking her head at how long ago and yet not that seemed.

"I did with Marcelo as well. What our little girl would be like and then a boy. He was the only one of all my suitors that I'd ever had those thoughts about and it was then, I knew how deeply I truly cared for him." Katya smiled wistfully thinking about her adoring husband, "Of course, I never pictured having both of those children at the same time with him but life gives us surprises that way." She laughed with her sister.

"Was it because you had twins the first time, that you decided not to have anymore children?" Irina asked softly remembering in their younger days her sister always saying she wanted to have a house full of children, it had been Irina who had said she'd only wanted one if even that. She didn't think she was cut out to be a mother in those younger years.

Oh, how Jack and Sydney had changed all that… until they were gone, and then she'd realized what a mistake she 'thought she'd made' by having that child only to leave it and then losing her first son and all the pregnancies after. She was thankful her life had changed so dramatically for the better now.

Katya's eyes suddenly shifted down and away while she thought for just a second before responding but Irina had seen it already.

"What is it?" Irina asked gently putting her hand on Katya's now extremely concerned that maybe there was still a secret between them, that maybe her sister didn't choose to but couldn't have more children for some reason. "Why didn't you have anymore children?" She asked again with nothing but concern in her voice.

"Because of you." Katya inhaled a deep breath and looked up to find Irina's eyes wide and already tearing, knowing that was the last answer her sister expected and one she didn't want to hurt her with by sharing.

"Me?" Irina gasped in barely above a whisper, horrified to hear it was because of her for some reason. "Why?"

"First of all, don't feel badly about it." Katya turned her hand and squeezed Irina's with a smile, even though her own eyes held tears they were not for her, but her sister, "Marcelo and I were then and are now, very happy with the choice we made to have no more."

"I don't understand…" Irina swallowed hard.

"We were planning to have another baby but after you returned and I saw you at Julia's funeral… when it all finally sank in what you'd lost… Sydney and the baby in Kashmir," Katya shook her head with tears slipping from her eyes and she looked out the window wiping them away remembering that day. "I already had two perfect… precious children that I could love and hug and hold every night… while you had lost yours," She spoke slowly and voice heavy with held back emotion, "It seemed so very selfish of me to want another baby after that."

"Katya…" Irina gasped overcome with emotion and tears raining down her cheeks. The thought that her sister had no more children because of her, especially when she was sitting here now, holding her child, one of three she'd just recently been blessed with when her sister's dream had ended so long ago.

"No!" Katya's eyes flashed to Irina's reaching up to cup her face, seeing the thoughts already racing through Irina's eyes of guilt, "Don't feel guilty, please. I won't allow it!" She smiled, "I told you, I am so happy with the blessings of my two children and I couldn't ask for more. I don't want you feeling guilty for what happened then and especially not now because you have three more beautiful children! Rina, I am so happy for you!" Her smiled grew and her eyes shown brightly that it was from genuine happiness, "That you have gotten three more blessings as well as your family back… you deserve them! You were without your child for longer than any mother should have to bear… now is your time and your chance to be a mother… and I couldn't be happier in sharing in your joy." She thumbed away Irina's tears and then pulled her sister into her arms, moving from the bed and standing when Irina did, "I love you, sister, and I want everything for you."

"I love you, too." Irina whispered still overcome with learning this information and held Katya more tightly to her, cautious of her son sleeping in her arms overwhelmed with emotions, "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

"I ask myself that question," Katya pulled back and stared into Irina's eyes with a smile, her palm against her cheek cupping her face, "Every time I look into your smiling eyes, what I did to deserve you, Irina. We are sisters… forever and always."

"You're younger than I am you know, its still not too late!" Irina quipped, wiping her eyes with a smile and Katya burst out laughing.

"Are you kidding me sister?" Katya wiped the tears in her own eyes while laughing, "I'm exhausted just watching you at times. I'm looking forward to helping you raise these beautiful creatures. They are my blessings too, you know. As are you." She smiled at Irina running the back of her finger over Nicholas's soft cheek; she had prayed for these babies and her sister years ago and were finally here in the life she always wanted for Irina, "That is more than enough for me."

"And before too long, I suspect you'll have a glorious grandchild of your own." Irina smiled, laughing through her new tears forming from happiness listening to her sister.

"Mmm," Katya's eyes began to twinkle thinking about it, "Yes, and then the palace walls will be ringing with the laughter of many children just as Mama had always wished to hear again. What fun it will be." Her lips brushed against Nicholas's soft cheek in her sister's arms with a smile imagining such a day, "Now, let's go see that glorious grandchild of yours." She linked fingers with Irina as they walked out of the room, "She is quite perfect you know?" Katya smiled speaking quietly and smiling wider seeing Irina's smile widen, "Though, I'd expect nothing less than perfect as a grandchild of yours." She laughed softly, "The long awaited Derevko-Vontonavich child, though not quite the one our parents thought of when we were younger. I know Talia is thrilled, Mama would have been too in sharing this great-grand child." Her laugh turned into more of a giggle, thinking about how fate worked out with the expected baby happening a generation later, the manifestation of the true soul mates in the two families of Derevko and Vontonavich, Sydney and Vaughn, and how it came to be in the children of Irina and Mikhail from the love they shared with their own soul mates in Jack and Bella.

* * *

"Wait a minute!" Sydney practically screeched from her position in bed while everyone surrounded her in the hospital room. She'd just handed Anya to Judy and something caught her eye. "What's that on your finger?" She asked the woman with a raging smile and mouth slightly ajar looking at the beautiful shining diamond solitaire now residing on Judy's left hand ring finger.

"Ah, well," Judy flushed an instant shade of red with all eyes on her. When her gaze flickered to Kendall's theirs did as well.

"I asked her to marry me last night." Kendall smiled shyly and a small gasp went round the room before Judy's instantaneous answer of, "And I said 'yes." Before shrill squeals and giggles erupted around the room followed with immediate 'Congratulations' and 'My God Kendall's getting married!' from Weiss with a hoot of laughter.

"So when and where is the wedding?" Sydney asked excitedly, looking over the ring on Judy's finger.

"Well, I think we both kind of agreed… it just had to be in Las Vegas, considering that's where we really… got together." Judy couldn't stop smiling or blushing thinking about that entirely wild weekend in Vegas. The one that resulted in two pregnancies, a marriage, Irina's discovery of her own pregnancy, Sergei and Madeleine's courtship as well as her own with Kendall.

"Ah!" Sydney immediately squealed in delight while the rest of the room erupted into laughter thinking it very appropriate.

"Are you getting married at the 'Chapel of Love,' too?" Marshall asked smiling and linking fingers with his wife.

"I don't think so. I'm sure my father would like to give me away." Judy laughed smiling thinking about that wedding that was so much fun and bizarre, "We were thinking more along the lines of the Venetian or at the Bellagio in a more traditional wedding ceremony but something small."

"That's probably a good idea." Carrie smiled with a hint of a smirk, "My father's still upset I had Jack walk me down the aisle and that Elvis married us." She rolled her eyes while everyone laughed, "Course, I think he's forgiven me some since I gave him his first grandchild. He's in love with Mitchell."

"Who wouldn't be?" Irina snuggled the baby in her arms kissing his little head, "My Godson is adorable." She smiled and both Carrie and Marshall lit with grins of proud parents.

"It was the Fembot outfit that did you in, wasn't it, Kendall?" Weiss nudged him and they all burst out laughing.

* * *

_Two Weeks Later:_

"Irina… Child, I'm sorry but you can't nurse them both any longer." Alexei shook his head holding his chart and knowing she wasn't going to like it, "You've lost too much weight as it is. You're barely over a hundred pounds and whatever massive calories you're taking in, go right back out nursing. With your Thyroid problems and Diabetes you just can't continue safely. Your numbers are all over the place." He held up her chart showing the drastic changes in her insulin levels over the course of the last couple of months from nursing the twins.

"I'll eat more calories!" Irina tried to plead not wanting to give it up after only four months.

"It won't change anything, Child, your body can't handle it. You're already in danger of kidney failure with these numbers." He grasped her hands in his with soft eyes staring into hers knowing how hard this was on her, "You have to switch to formula."

Irina started to cry and Jack held her against his chest from the side wiping at the silent river of tears flowing from her eyes and breaking his heart when Alexei gave her the shot in the arm that would cease her milk production.

* * *

_***Adiemus***_

_May 15th, 2004 - Coronation Anniversary_

Everyone had once again gathered, flying in from near and far to celebrate with Russia on the First Anniversary of the Coronation and Imperial Rule. The week had been filled with festivities to mark the special occasion and the actual day had been declared a National Holiday.

Anya and Mitchell were baptized together during the church service and Nadia, Nicholas and Anya were all officially anointed with their own Coronation part of the service as members of the Imperial Family with each being welcomed and blessed by Irina.

The newest members of the Imperial Court: Kendall, Judy, The Petersons, and Lena were also anointed and Carrie, as well having been asked by Jack and Irina to be a second Godmother to Lena. The young woman had taken great care of their daughter on various occasions with great love and affection and it only made sense to them to have her officially made a Godmother when her actions were already of that. Now she and Marshall were Godparents together of Lena as Jack and Irina were Godparents to Mitchell.

"Okay, the Grand Duchess Anya's turn and then all four babies with Her Majesty." The photographer smiled and everyone else laughed standing around and watching as they finished with the official portraits marking this occasion.

They'd taken one including everyone, then a three generation picture with Irina, Sydney and Anya, and several others with various combinations of people and lastly with Irina and the twins together and then with each of them separate.

She kissed Nadia's little face as Sydney traded babies with her mother, carefully handing her sleeping daughter over in exchange for her very wide-awake and smiling four-month-old sister.

"She looks absolutely precious." The photographer smiled making some adjustments to the blankets surrounding Anya while Irina held her sleeping granddaughter with a gorgeous smile, "I just love her gown." She cooed pulling the long length of the baby's gown down to spill in its satin waves just right over Irina's lap.

"It was her mother's." Irina beamed smiling up at Sydney remembering the day Sydney had been baptized wearing the same gown.

"A great family tradition." The photographer smiled at Irina and then Sydney when she wheeled around to get behind her camera again.

When the photograph was taken it was time for the final picture of Irina with all four babies. They all laughed as Irina managed to hold all four babies in her arms while they wiggled and squirmed, the twins on the outsides against each arm and the younger two, Anya and Mitchell in between in a girl boy girl boy fashion.

They managed to get one good picture before all the babies started fussing making them all laugh to see Irina holding four crying babies and took another picture of her holding them that way, with her smiling and laughing and the babies all fussing and crying for posterity.

* * *

When the Imperial Ball that night ended at Peterhof, Irina asked that her family and friends meet she and Jack in the Sitting Room before going to bed.

"Is she okay?" Irina asked flicking the syringe full of insulin in the kitchen when Jack entered after checking on Lena.

"Yeah, she just pushed Mr. Yellow Bear out of her crib and couldn't reach him." Jack smiled thinking about his adorable little girl who'd awoken and stirred because she'd lost her favorite furry friend in the night after they put Lena and the rest of the babies to bed hours ago. "How are you?" He asked with real concern seeing how tired she was and watching as she injected herself in the bicep with her insulin, unable to get to any other part of her body under such a fabulous gown.

"I'm good." Irina smiled, flicking the needle into the orange collection bin now standard in all palaces and home kitchens in the family for Irina's injections and then reaching for a glass while Jack opened the fridge and retrieved the orange juice. "Tired but good." She sighed thinking about this long day that began at 4 AM and was still going at 1 AM the next morning.

"Are you sure you don't want to wait and do this in the morning?" Jack took the glass from her watching her yawn and poured her juice for her.

"No, I want to tell them tonight," She smiled, "Let them go to sleep with raging smiles on their faces and wake up still wearing them… at least I hope they'll be smiling and not offended." She sighed taking the juice when offered.

"I don't think they'll be offended." Jack smiled with a chuckle putting the juice away, "Dumbstruck but not offended."

"I hope you're right." She wrapped her arms around his neck carefully with an endearing smile, staring at his lips leaning in while he rested his hands on her waist, kissing before breaking apart and holding hands as they walked out.

Everyone was waiting patiently in the glorious room, sitting before the wide crackling fire place creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere with steaming mugs of tea, coffee and hot chocolate in their hands chatting amongst themselves as they waited for their Imperial hosts, still looking phenomenal in their tuxedos, Imperial uniforms and gowns.

"Thank you all for staying awake just a bit longer on this long day to meet with us." Irina smiled entering the room on Jack's arm with her juice glass in the other hand.

"So what's going on?" Sydney asked with a smile just as out of the loop on what was happening as the rest of them gathered in the room.

"Well," Irina began taking a seat with Jack on the loveseat left open for them, facing everyone else. Dixon whose children were already in bed, was sitting with Sydney and Vaughn on one couch; Kendall, Judy, and Ben and Karen Devlin, were on another; Katya was on the floor leaning back against Marcelo and her children and their significant others were doing the same. Mikhail sat in one chair with Bella sitting on the arm and Lena Olin and her husband in the same position in another. Julian was standing with arms around Ash from behind, swaying slightly together and Will was leaning back against the end of the sofa where Sydney and Vaughn sat. Dmitri and Talia were on another love seat beside Jack and Irina's.

"As the Executive Producers putting up the original funding for the four films we are also the ones who retain the profits," Irina began with tears already pooling in her eyes looking over the sea of faces staring at her, "Your father and I have been talking about what we wanted to do with the profits from them as soon as the first film was released." She sighed and saw their eyes widening slightly in wonder, "So far, the four films have taken in a little over $8 billion in world-wide sales and its still coming in," She smiled wider seeing the color start draining from their faces with that number and many audible inhales of breath that they'd made over $8 billion dollars on the films. It had cost almost a billion to make all four films, no expense spared to get it right and all of the money had come from Irina's wealth so she would retain the absolute rights to the films.

Irina squeezed Jack's hand a little asking him to continue without words, already feeling emotional.

"We've commissioned two new building projects in Danny and Emily's names," He looked over at his daughter who instantly had tears pooling in her eyes while Vaughn kissed her temple, "A new hospital in Moscow, specializing in Cardiology, Oncology and Hemophilia of all ages to provide the best care in all of Europe to patients and their families with a 'Hospital Village' of sorts with thirty homes provided to the families while their loved ones are in the care of the hospital."

Sydney gasped, as did many, softly with her eyes flashing back and forth between her mother and father overcome with emotion.

"And the other as a specialized new wing, of UCLA Medical Center, specializing in Pediatric Cardiology." He smiled knowing that was where the young man and his daughter met, where he was working when he was tragically killed. "And another commissioned for Emily in Oncology." He saw that Sydney was about to say something else but held a hand up with a smile to let them continue.

"We're also donating to UCLA's toxicology and cardiology programs." Irina added softly smiling over at Ryan with tears still pooling, thankful for their efforts and her life. "And…" She took deep breath and sighed with a smile, "In Francie's name," She looked to both her daughter and Will who each she knew were holding their breath hearing her name, "We've decided to build a culinary school… you two can decide the location."

"Mom…" Sydney gasped with tears sliding in silent streams down her cheeks, shaking her head as her father said, dumbstruck.

"And we're giving her family," Irina continued wading through this emotional moment, "And Danny's, a portion of the profits in their children's names," Irina continued on in a quiet voice with her own rivers of silent tears, "As well as your children, Marcus." She smiled over at the man wiping at the tear trails, "In the memory of their mother as well as a scholarship program for students to attend any university in the world, in Diane's name."

"And to the rest of you… all of you that we love in this room and whom each impacted our lives and shared in this film experience with us, we want to share the profits with you too… of $200 million." Jack added with a small smile and watched as most mouths dropped open.

"_Ho-ly_ shit!" Weiss gasped with wide astonished eyes mentally calculating as he looked around, "That's like… almost $15 million a piece! We're all rich!" His voice rose and he gasped as did many and Irina and Jack chuckled.

"No actually, it isn't $15 million a piece." Irina shook her head still chuckling with a smile and linking her hand with Jack's sitting back and playing with his fingers while she held everyone's pale-faced attention, "You misunderstood me, allow me to explain please. What we meant was, $200 million to you and Sophia," She snickered seeing his and everyone else's eyes immediately widen until their eyebrows hit their hairline and then went on, "$200 million to Sydney, Michael and Anya; $200 million to Julian and Ash; $200 million to Katya and Marcelo; $200 million to Sergei and Madeleine; $200 million to Marshall, Carrie and Mitchell; $200 million to Dmitri; $200 million to Talia; $200 million to Alexei; $200 million to Mikhail and Bella; $200 million to Marcus, Robin and Steven; $200 million to Kendall and Judy; $200 million to Ben and Karen; $200 million to Lena and Lasse; $200 million to you Will," She smiled down at the younger man, and then sighed as she finished rattling off the list with, "And $200 million to Ryan, Ann and their children. The rest of the profits will be given to other charities, go to various other projects and peoples such as my orphans," She smiled thinking about their faces when they discovered what she had planned for them with their portion, "And then of course some other people will receive portions of the profits that aren't here today that impacted our lives such as," Her face turned back to Sydney with a small smile, "Ms. Adams and the other actors in the film and so forth but…" She inhaled another deep breath before rambling on seeing they were still dumbstruck and unmoving, "Before anyone says anything I just want to say, that I know some of you, this may pose problems as you're members of the United States Intelligence Community receiving money from the Tsar of Imperial Russia but… I've spoken with President Bush about this and some other matters and you have two choices: you can stay working at your jobs and we'll make the legal transactions so that you'll be paid directly from the production company handling the films or, the second option which we both," She smiled at Jack, "Sincerely hope you take and that's to retire from the world of Intelligence. An early retirement where you then take up fishing, knitting, traveling, start a new career it doesn't really matter what, we just wish you all long, safe, healthy and happy lives… and to be out of this crazy world where we all met." She was speaking to Dixon, Marshall, Kendall, Judy, and Ben. Carrie had already left just before Mitchell was born and Weiss had retired with his engagement to Sophia.

"And that you come visit us often." Jack added smiling scanning over his friend's faces; who were still white as ash and unmoving, "We hope."

Stunned silence reigned over the room.

"$200 million." Will stated with a dry throat.

"You're giving away $8 billion dollars… $3 billion to us?" Weiss asked again astounded as he looked around the group.

"Mmhmm." Irina nodded along with Jack wearing big grins and loving the reaction but still nervous their friends wouldn't accept, "It's all of our story in the films, in one way or another. It's only right to share it with you… and I don't need it. I already have everything I could ever want or need in this room. The people I love." She smiled blinking back new tears, "Please say you'll accept?" She looked over to her old friends the Devlins and the others still working in US Intelligence. She wanted them all out, all safe and all living lives with less drama and heartbreak.

"We're in! He's retiring!" Karen grabbed Ben's hand with a raging enthusiastic smile almost shouting and pulling it into the air raising both their hands and stunning her husband at making the decision for them. "I've wanted you to take me traveling around the world for years, Ben, now's our chance!" She smiled, "We gladly accept, Your Majesty." Karen all but launched herself off the couch and onto Irina, and then Jack hugging them wildly while her husband still sat stunned.

Before too long everyone else joined in the hugging and thanking which turned into a somewhat 'hog pile' of appreciation and elation and had them all laughing and smiling and accepting, still in shock with wide-eyes of wonder when they 'floated' up to bed.

"So do you think they're smiling?" Irina smiled, laying draped across Jack's chest and circling his nipple with the tip of her finger.

"Yeah, I think they probably are… if not jumping on the bed in glee." He laughed running his hand over her hand and kissing the top of her head the image of Weiss jumping around on the bed with Sophia flitted into his mind making him laugh again. His fingers trailed along the length of her jaw line until her face turned to look at him and he smiled, leaning in to close the distance and kiss her lips. "I love you, Your Majesty," he brushed his nose with hers, "Congratulations on a fabulous year of Imperial Rule."

"Make love to me, Jack." Irina whispered against his mouth, turning around fully and straddling his body, leaning over him and linking her fingers with his while her hair curtained their faces on one side where she tossed it over her shoulder.

"Happily, My Love." He smiled cupping the back of her neck and bringing her mouth to his in a searing kiss.

* * *

_Alexander Palace - The Imperial Stables _

"I asked you to come down here," Irina threw the stirrup up over the saddle to finish saddling the gorgeous black Arabian before her, "Not only because I wanted you to join me in riding horses," She smiled over at the younger woman standing beside her with wide-eyes of wonder holding the reins, "But because I wanted to speak to you alone and its hard to find a place to chat in the palace these days without drawing attention." She laughed softly, latching the strap and pulling down making sure it was secure. "As you know, we've decided to give away the proceeds from the films," She took the reins from the young woman standing beside her in silence. "I want to share them with you as well. Not only because of the friendship we've formed over the last couple of years," She slid the bit into the horses mouth effortlessly, "But... because of all you've done for me and my family. Without your help I wouldn't have been able to keep Sydney safe… and we wouldn't be where we are today." She smiled when she was finished, running her hands down the smooth neck of the horse. "The stipulation is the same as with the others… only because… really, I don't want the people I care about working in such a dangerous line of business…" She saw the tears building in her eyes looking at her in shock, "And because its too dangerous for you to continue working as a double, I'm releasing you from the Russian service and in doing so, your service inside the US Intelligence world is no longer needed… You've done your job and you've done it well… I thank you with my whole heart for everything you've done." She reached for the stunned woman and gave her a hug, speaking in fluent Russian the entire time.

"It's been an honor, Your Majesty," The woman hugged her back with a smile, always in awe of the great woman before her, "Thank you."

"Where's your mom?" Weiss looked around the living room where Sydney was sitting with Anya, Bella and several others. "She said something about going riding today and I want to go with her." His eyes lit up like Christmas trees with the prospect, in love with the horses. He and Irina had become quite the riding buddies sharing their mutual love of horses and now that spring was here, they tried to go often.

"She already went to the stables," Sydney smiled adjusting her baby on her shoulder, "I'm sure if you hurry you'll catch them before they go."

"They?" He asked almost hurt that Irina had found another buddy today.

"Yeah," Sydney couldn't help but laugh seeing his fallen look knowing how he loved his alone time with her mother, their chats and the horses. "You aren't the only horse lover besides Mom it turns out… Vicki loves them, too."

"Agent Crane loves horses?" Weiss balked at the idea and shook his head with an amused smile picturing the tiny woman on a horse.

"Apparently so, she went down there with Mom." Sydney smiled.

"Well, she is of Russian heritage isn't she?" Sophia smiled brightly playing with Lena on the floor, "And all Russian's love their horses," She laughed while the other Russians in the room nodded in agreement with smiles.


	38. Chapter 38

**_AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): My Heart Will Go On _by Celine Dion from Titanic Soundtrack,_ Crimson and Clover _by Tommy James & The Shondells,_ I Can See Clearly Now _by Johnny Nash,_ Porcelain _by Moby_, Find My Baby _by Moby_, September by Earth, Wind and Fire, Never Never Going to Give You Up _by Barry White_, Crazy Love _by Ray Charles with Van Morrison_, _****_Thoda Resham Lagta Hai by _****Lata Mangeshkar**_****__, ****__Wada Na Tod _******by ********Lata Mangeshkar, _Punjabi Wedding Song_ from the Bride & Prejudice Soundtrack.**

* * *

THIRTY-EIGHT

o

_One Week Later:_

**_*My Heart Will Go On*_**

'_Near far, wherever you are… I believe that the heart does go on… Once more you opened the door… and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on… and on…' _

Celine Dion crooned the song for the ending credits of the film while Irina, Katya and Sydney cried with sleeping babies against them; Irina having just watched the famous sinking ship film for the first time having avoided it and all other romantic films over the last twenty years.

"Well, damn it, that was sad!" Irina smiled with a chuckle reaching for another tissue and sniffling as she handed one to Sydney and Katya as well, "I'm glad I never watched then." Her eyes filled with tears again even as she smiled, shaking her head softly, "I loved it but I just never could have…" She let the thought die on her lips and they knew what she meant.

Katya and Sydney both gave her a simultaneous hand squeeze that made them all chuckle before they leaned into Irina on each of her sides. Katya had Nicholas asleep against her chest, Anya against Irina's and Nadia against Sydney's.

The three of them were lounging around on a Saturday morning while the others were out and about doing various other things. Weiss and Sophia had taken Lena fishing somewhere on the vast property, Julian was with Ash in India while she finished another film after flying to various locations checking in on his business affairs with the clubs; Marcelo, Jack, Sergei and Vaughn were golfing and Mikhail and Bella were taking his mother Talia back to Gyrady. Everyone else had flown back to the States days ago after the Anniversary Celebration and Baptisms.

"Now what should we do?" Irina asked with an exhausted sigh leaning back into the couch and pulling the others with her.

"I think we should make cookies," Sydney giggled her deep giggle, "I'm having a massive chocolate craving for some reason and your Chocolate Chip Cookies are foremost in my mind."

"Mmm, yes, they are rather delicious morsels, Rina, Darling," Katya almost purred beside them with a smile. "I think that's a fabulous idea."

"Okay then," Irina laughed, "Let's make cookies!"

"And vodka, we must drink vodka while we bake!" Katya added with a soft laugh standing as the other two did with babies still asleep against their chests.

"But I can't drink..." Sydney pouted playfully shifting the baby against her and looking at her own sleeping child against her mother's chest.

"Oh, that's right," Katya frowned sadly with her looking from Sydney to the baby she was nursing and then smiled, "That's fine. You bake and we'll drink watching you." She smiled with a giggle making the other two laugh.

"Good plan." Irina smiled kissing her granddaughter's head and trading babies with her daughter, "I'll go put these two down and meet you in the kitchen." She smiled taking Nicholas carefully from her sister as well, very experienced now in balancing both babies perfectly while asleep against her chest.

"I'll get the vodka!" Katya smiled, kissing both of their little heads and then Irina's cheek before disappearing in search of their finest.

Sydney settled Anya in the Moses basket and picked it up, walking out with her mother and departing for the kitchen when Irina headed upstairs.

Irina kissed both of her babies, smiling and running her hand over the soft skin of their bare legs sticking out from their Onzie outfits and over their tiny socks before pulling the little blankets over each, snickering as she did every time pulling the Cowboys and Cossacks one from Weiss over Nicholas. With her babes sleeping in their cribs she bounced down the stairs with a smile meeting Katya at the bottom. "Where'd you get that?" She asked her sister with a smile seeing she was holding one of her finest bottles of vodka.

"In your office, of course." Katya laughed, linking arms with her sister as they walked to the kitchen, "There are some good things about no longer nursing your babies." She added softly knowing how hard it had been on her sister, "Like, being able to drink copious amounts of fabulous vodka while eating chocolate cookies and telling wild stories that make your daughter blush madly!"

"You're terrible." Irina laughed thinking about how Katya taunted Sydney with her sexual references to she and Jack, "But I love you." She kissed Katya's temple and wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

Twenty minutes later, Sydney burning bright red as she stood beside her mother spooning cookie dough onto a sheet while Katya watched from a stool, drinking vodka and making them laugh with her stories.

Their eyes flashed to the nursery monitor when Nicholas began to cry and they saw him pushing himself up on his little arms in his crib with his back to them and then plopping back down doing a face plant and snorting before crying again.

"I'll get him," Sydney smiled licking the dough off the spoon in her hand and throwing it in the sink quickly before running upstairs to get her brother with a smile.

Irina set her own spoon down and reached for the refrigerator door, pulling out one of Nicholas's bottles and setting it in the warmer knowing he would want to eat.

Her heart all but stopped when she heard Sydney scream, "_Mom!_" through the monitors and looked up with Katya to the screen to see Sydney rushing out of the nursery with Nicholas clutched to her chest and then off camera.

Irina and Katya both bolted for the stairs and met Sydney at the bottom, tears were streaming down her cheeks and it was obvious as to why when she turned the crying baby and he had blood running from his nose. His arms and legs all had deep, ugly dark bruises from fingerprints everywhere they'd touched him before putting him to sleep and marking him with every touch now. His forehead even held a bruise from where Irina had kissed him.

Nadia was now awake and screaming in her own crib upstairs having been violently awaken with Sydney's scream and Katya ran to get her.

"I don't know what happened! I just went to the crib and he was like this!" Sydney cried trying to hold him and pass him to her mother as delicately as possible, "He's not due for his Factor for another week!"

"Call your father and tell him to meet us at the hospital." Irina held back her tears and Dmitri came running to see what was going on. His face went pale seeing the blood coming from the baby's nose in a stream and staining Irina's shirt. His little bruise covered body as she tried to keep him still though he was squirming, most likely in pain on top of hunger.

"Will you grab Anya please and his bottle from the warmer, and another one from the fridge for Nadia and meet us at the helipad?" Irina asked Dmitri speaking calmly though internally she felt anything but.

Dmitri nodded and ran back into the kitchen as Katya rapidly descended the stairs, kissing Nadia's head and trying to calm her niece down.

"Daddy!" Sydney cried into the phone as they rapidly secured Nadia and then Anya into the car seats in the helicopter, "Meet us at the hospital. It's Nicholas… he's bleeding."

Irina held Nicholas in her arms knowing she'd do more damage if they tried to put him into his seat. They were in the air in minutes and Sophia and Weiss felt the wind rush from the blades when it went overhead, looking skyward and wondering what was going on as they sat by the lake but knowing it wasn't good if Irina was leaving in the helicopter that fast on a Saturday.

Weiss pulled out his cell phone and rapidly dialed Sydney, "Hey, what's going on? We just saw your mom leave in the helicopter."

"I'm with her as is Katya, we're on our way to the hospital. Nicholas is bleeding, badly." Sydney cried answering her phone watching the landscape fly by beneath them.

"Shit!" Weiss jumped up, grabbing Lena under one arm and motioning for Sophia to help him grab their other stuff and quickly started running for the house, "We're on our way."

"What's going on?" Sophia asked when he hit 'End' and was running beside him to the palace with fear in her heart seeing it in her fiance's eyes.

"The Cowboy is bleeding. That's all I know and we're meeting them at the hospital."

Weiss and Sophia dropped the gear by the doorstep without going in and raced to the garage to get their car.

* * *

"He's okay, Rina." Marcelo smiled, running his hand with a smile down his sister-in-law's arm as he stepped around the incubator temporarily holding his nephew to adjust the settings on the machine beside it. He normally didn't cover this floor but as Chief of Staff and uncle to said patient, he was assisting the head Hematologist.

They'd immediately administered the Factor Irina had banked for just such an Emergency and given Nicholas a light sedation to calm him down while they treated him.

"So what does this mean?" Irina asked the doctor squeezing Jack's hand, "I thought he was supposed to be okay as long as we gave him the factor every six weeks?"

"It was working, but now, we have to change the treatment as he's growing and changing." The specialist gave them a small smile knowing how hard this was on parents, "He's getting more active and the factor is now apparently burning through his body that much more quickly with his activity. From now on, he'll have to start taking the factor more often to avoid incidents like this in the future."

"How often?" Jack asked with a thick voice of concern staring down at his baby boy.

"Four times a week," The doctor replied, "We'll have to start home treatments and you can give him the factor injections at home every other day."

"Every other day." Irina gasped with fresh tears in her eyes looking at her beautiful little boy and imagining him going through what she had to on a daily basis with injections.

"It sounds worse then it is, really." The doctor placed his hand on her forearm where her arms were wrapped around herself, giving her a small smile trying to comfort her, "One injection on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and again on Sundays."

"But he's just a baby…" Irina wiped at the tears falling from her eyes looking over his bruised little body.

"Yes," The doctor smiled sadly, "But he's a tough guy this little one. He's going to be okay, Your Majesty." He smiled and nodded, "I want to keep him overnight for observation but he'll be free to go in the morning when we're sure the factor has begun clotting properly. I'll be back later to instruct you on the injections. In the meantime, you should probably head to the bank downstairs to donate your plasma again," He smiled at Irina, "So they can start manufacturing it into a dry compound for the factor you'll be taking home. They already have about two weeks worth prepared from your past donations but as you can now guess, we're going to be needing more."

* * *

_Moscow, Russia - Two Months Later - July 21st, 2004 _

"I miss you." Irina sighed into the phone the moment Jack answered, fingering a strand of Lena's curly hair off her forehead as she slept in her car seat on the way to the airport from the apartment in Red Square.

"I miss you, too." Jack smiled into the phone. Irina and Lena had been gone for two days in Moscow on business and pleasure, attending a costume party at the orphanage just for fun and Irina working on government details, mostly with more intense negotiations with Chechnya, "How's the Peanut?"

"She's sleeping, like the gorgeous angel she is." Irina smiled and then laughed, "She's still in her costume as she went crazy on me when I tried to take it off. "She was running around 'buzzing' everyone with her 'bzzz bzzz' sound screaming 'bee bee." She chuckled thinking about her children's apparent obsessions with bugs and bees at the same age. Her mind flashed back to Sydney and the 'bees' and then to Lena flying around the orphanage today.

Their nicknames of Sugar Bug and Snuggle Bug were highly appropriate in her mind as they were indeed her little 'bugs.'

"You took pictures, of course?" Jack asked with a chuckle looking at the clock and noting the time. It was almost ten, which meant she would be home in an hour.

"Of course." Irina smiled, "How are the babies?" She missed them so much she ached to hold and kiss them to pieces.

"All three are currently sleeping on the bed with me, Nicholas and Nadia beside me in your space and Anya on my chest," His lips brushed over her downy baby hair, "Sydney was exhausted after being up all night with Anya so I gave her some relief and get to spend some quality time with my grandbaby."

Vaughn was in Paris with his parents helping them with some things around the house and they would all be arriving back in St. Petersburg in the morning before leaving for a two-week vacation to some unknown destination Irina wouldn't reveal, as it was his birthday surprise. The only thing he knew was that 'everyone' was coming.

"Of course she's good as gold for me and went right to sleep." Jack chuckled thinking about that irony when he could never get Sydney to sleep as a baby and it had always been her mother who could get her down instantly.

"Nadia hasn't started crawling yet has she?" Irina asked with almost a hint of panic at the thought in her voice of missing a monumental moment in her baby's life. Her daughter had been so very close before she left on this trip.

"No, she hasn't." Jack smiled hearing the tone in his wife's voice and loving the mother in her that was afraid to miss any moment, "She's still rocking like crazy on her hands and knees with a big smile. Sydney really had her going today trying to get her to crawl and down on all fours with Eric trying to show her how. It was quite humorous."

"They can't encourage her while I'm gone!" Irina was aghast and Jack laughed over the line hearing her actually pouting. "I don't want to miss it!"

"You wont' miss it, My Love." Jack smiled still chuckling looking over at his baby asleep beside him, "She's already asleep and hasn't crawled yet and you'll be here in an hour. Here when she wakes up in the morning and starts rocking and rolling again."

"Okay," She spoke softly with a smile, "What about Nicholas?"

"No, he's still happy just sitting there, looking over at her like's she's crazy and so are we." He laughed thinking about the Derevko eyebrow slant his son had already mastered with his mother's eyes and used frequently at only six months old.

"I miss them." Irina sighed feeling tears prick in her eyes staring out the window at the Moscow skyline.

"They miss you, too." Jack added softly with a smile. "We'll see you in an hour. I love you."

"I love you, too." Irina wiped at the single fallen tear and smiled clicking her phone off as the limo pulled into the airport.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace_

"Hello Gorgeous," Jack greeted her with a smile when Irina walked in the door to their bedroom an hour and ten minutes later holding Lena with her bee costume still on and asleep against her mother's chest. They were the cutest sight ever to Jack. Irina, in her stealthy, sharp looking black suit of strict businesswoman contrasting sharply with the Winnie-The-Pooh baby bee she held in her arms.

"Hello Handsome." Irina smiled back, stepping out of her heels and walking over to him, kissing him soundly on the lips and leaning over to kiss Anya's little head before walking around the bed and laying Lena down beside her other two; immediately kissing them with smiles before carefully unzipping Lena and removing her from her costume and smiling with Jack at the Cow Jumping Over the Moon Onzie she was wearing underneath thinking about her obsession with the moon and everything about it.

"There was cloud cover in Moscow… we couldn't say goodnight to the moon tonight."

"Oh, I bet she wasn't a happy camper." Jack chuckled with a smile watching, as she lay sound asleep and let her mother remove her costume. He could easily visualize Lena's pouty-lip that appeared every night she couldn't see the moon to tell him goodnight.

"No, she wasn't, but I was able to distract her for a few minutes in the limo by singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' before she started pointing out the window asking, 'Moon Mama? Moon? Where he go?' with that little eyebrow slant and upturned palms." Irina laughed mimicking their daughter's tiny voice and actions making Jack laugh softly with her. "I promised her tomorrow we'd see the moon and a million stars." Irina smiled sliding out of her own clothes and into the silky pajamas from her armoire. Her smile was coy as she slid into bed behind Lena and pulled her little girl back against her with the twins and Lena now sleeping carefully between she and Jack.

"Really…" Jack arched his own eyebrow curiously trying to decipher this new clue as to where they were headed. He stood and carefully laid Anya in the bassinet beside their bed, kissing her little head before joining the rest of his family in bed, lying on his side with head propped up looking over their babies and then leaning in to kiss Irina cupping her face. "I'm glad you're home. I really missed you. I never sleep when you're not here."

"I can't sleep without you either. Without meditation these last couple of nights, I would have been a zombie in the meetings," Irina laughed softly, running her fingers over his cheek. "Starting tomorrow night, it's you and me, Baby." She laughed softly at the reference.

"And everyone else." Jack chuckled thinking about the small army of people joining them.

"And everyone else. But only for a little while. You're all mine after hours," She winked at him with a naughty gleam in her eyes, "Or should I say, I'm all yours after hours?"

"Well, it _is_ my birthday vacation." He giggled just as naughtily continuing to kiss her lips in a tantalizing way as they spoke, "I'd say you're all mine… though I do quite enjoy when you're running the show as well. We'll just have to take turns being the Ring Master."

"Ring Master?" Irina laughed against his lips, biting and tugging on his lower lip when she pulled away.

"Oh yes, Ring Master. With the crowd we're vacationing with, its bound to be a circus." Jack laughed in turn loving the laughter and light in her eyes.

"But always a fun circus." Irina smiled thinking about those she loved and who always made her smile, "I love you." She whispered against his lips and then kissed them again softly.

"I love you." He whispered back, kissing her once more before they settled down against their pillows, with fingers linked holding hands over their babies and cocooning them safely between as they fell asleep.

* * *

Irina had closed all the plane's windows, refusing to let anyone look out and see where they were going for the entire flight and landing and now stood with an enormous smile lighting her face before everyone and nodded with a wink, spinning on her heel with Nadia in her arms and heading for the door of the plane.

The pilot was waiting by the door as he always was, to greet her before she departed and smiled as he spoke, "Welcome to Sydney, Ma'am… Enjoy your stay."

The last time he'd uttered those words to her she was alone and leaving the world she knew and the people she loved, behind. Now as she stepped out of the plane, they were behind her and she smiled when she felt Jack's lips kiss her bare shoulder.

* * *

_Sydney, Australia_

"It's so weird," Weiss looked around the house once they'd arrived, "It looks just like the one in the film."

"That's because it is the one in the film!" Sydney started laughing hysterically, even if she agreed it was a bit 'surreal' to have seen it on film first, and then visit.

"Eric," Irina called sweetly from the kitchen where she was already preparing dinner.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Weiss called back in a sweet singsong voice that made them all laugh.

"Would you like to call your sister and her family and invite them for dinner?" Irina smiled stepping around the corner with Nadia strapped to her chest in the Baby Bjorn sleeping soundly.

"Oh shit! Yeah! I totally spaced and forgot that I'm actually here!" He started laughing looking out over the Harbor and seeing the Sydney skyline, "I'd love to see them if that's okay with you?"

"Of course, its okay! They're family." She smiled with a laugh watching as he grabbed Lena running by him and twirled her around in the air making her laugh.

"Then I'd better call them!" Weiss pulled Lena down to his chest kissing her neck and sending her into hysteria with giggles.

"Look at them," Vaughn laughed watching Lena and Eric's nephew Dominic, who was four, chasing each other around in the grass in the backyard where everyone was now sitting having after dinner drinks.

"He's completely smitten." Eric's sister Kari smiled sipping on her wine and laughing when her son planted another kiss on Lena's cheek and she laughed and pushed him away, running again but looking back to make certain he was chasing her.

"She's already a tease." Weiss laughed a deep giggle with a huff of his shoulders when he met Jack's eyes and shook his head, "Oh boy are you guys in trouble." His Goddaughter was nothing short of gorgeous and was 100% her mother's daughter.

"I've never seen him like this. He's into the 'girls have cooties phase," Kari smiled shaking her own head at the cuteness before them.

"Doesn't seem like that now!" Vaughn laughed when the two tikes repeated the same thing, Dominic kissing Lena and her giggling and running away, making sure he was chasing her.

"It's because she's a Romanov-Derevko woman," Weiss smiled over at Sophia, leaning over to kiss her lips, "They're alluring and you're powerless against them sinking your ship."

"Awe," Sydney and several of the other women cooed over his sweetness watching the lovebirds, who would be married in less then month.

"All right everyone," Irina smiled running her hand over Nadia's head still strapped to her chest asleep when Weiss's sister's family left, "Let's go!"

"What do you mean?" Sydney asked with a funny smile, "You mean we're not staying here?"

"Nope. We're only passing through." Irina smiled with a wide grin and winked at Julian seeing the smile light his eyes when he realized where they were going.

"Holy fecking shit!" Weiss scrambled from the limo onto the dock staring up at the massive ship before him and reading the side, seeing the Romanov Imperial Crest, "So that's Imperial II?" He stared up at the behemoth before them in awe as everyone else gasped, "That's the ship in the film!" He bounced excitedly with recognition, "The one the camera flew past when the two of you were diving in that cave!" He pointed to Julian and Irina and started laughing down the dock, "It's enormous!" He screamed seeing it go on and on, "It's like cruise ship!"

"A cruise ship with seven smaller boats, two helicopters and a personal submarine." Julian smirked over at Irina holding Lena on his arm.

The ship, and that is what it was as the World's Largest Personal Yacht, had gone under the name _The Octopus_ before and only today received it's new title; Irina having done so purposely as to keep it under-wraps as to whom it belonged.

"A submarine!" Weiss screeched and grabbed his head, "Goddamn, woman! You are better then Disney World!" Making everyone laugh still looking up with astonished eyes.

"Shall we?" Irina waved her hand up to the plank where they would board.

Everyone else had begun 'exploring' the moment after they were settled in their staterooms at Irina's insistence to 'make themselves at home' as this ship would be their home for the next two weeks. It had 'everything' one could possibly imagine and Kendall and Devlin shook their heads in awe when they came upon her _Strategic Command Center_ and saw the technology around them as well as a mass of weaponry behind bullet proof glass enclosures; enough to start and finish a small war.

"It's no wonder we could never find her." Devlin laughed about it now while Julian punched in a series of numbers and opened a steel wall revealing the submarine port and dive equipment, "This is astounding."

"I think its more Hi-Tech then our Ops Center," Kendall leaned on the railing watching as Julian led the others down the staircase to get a closer look at the submarine, "She can run her entire empire from here." He laughed with an amused smile.

"No doubt she did just that." Devlin shared the smile.

* * *

"We're are you going?" Jack asked coming out of his enormous stateroom with its own Imperial sized bed at the very front of the ship, most of the room was enormous windows giving a spectacular view around them. Sydney and Vaughn flew by him in luxurious white bathrobes with the Imperial Seal on the breast.

"Swimming!" Sydney's smile lit her face as she flew by her father, pegging his cheek with a kiss, "There's an Olympic size pool!" She giggled linking fingers with her husband and Jack could have sworn he saw a flash of naughty race through her eyes for the first time, having seen the same look in her mother's eyes on more than one occasion.

"Where's Anya?" Jack hollered after them, wondering what they'd done with his granddaughter in their wild abandonment.

"With my parents. Sleeping!" Vaughn yelled back and then vanished with Sydney behind the gold elevator doors.

"Sleeping." He repeated shaking his head and wondering where Irina had gone off to with their three littlest ones.

The second elevator dinged and opened and out came Katya wearing a raging smile and the same naughty twinkle in her eye that his daughter had just shown. Something was going on.

"You can go up now." She smiled walking up to Jack and kissing his cheek.

"Go up where?" Jack asked with a hint of wariness seeing her predatory smile. Something was definitely going on.

"Your birthday gift is on the Upper 'Private' Deck." Her eyes twinkled with happiness. "You'd better hurry. She's been waiting… a long time," She added in a softer tone and Jack knew exactly what she was really saying and his heart skipped a beat.

"And the kids?" He asked already feeling his heart begin to race.

"Sleeping like the babies they are in my room. Marcelo is with them. Happy Birthday, Jack." She kissed his cheek, "Go!"

"Go where?" Jack asked with a nervous laugh, "I don't know where I'm going on this behemoth!"

"The elevator access to the Upper Deck has been closed for the evening." Katya smiled with laughter in her eyes. "So you'll have to take the stairs…" She waved her fingers in a slight 'shooing' motion towards the room he just vacated, "It will take you right to her."

"Thank you." Jack smiled and kissed her cheek before spinning on his heel. Katya loved that her sister could still make this man nervous with anticipation of seeing her. Their love would never cease to amaze her.

Jack locked the door behind him and then darted through the massive room to the corner where a winding staircase led up and to where he couldn't see from the bottom. He rapidly began to ascend them and pushed through side door stepping out onto the side of the ship and walking around its corner, his breath catching instantly at the sight of her, surrounded by a hundred white candles lit all over various areas of the deck casting a warm glow. Her back was to him as she gazed over the balcony railing on the front of the deck looking out at the spectacular sight of Sydney Harbor. Her long hair washing in waves down her back and the naked skin exposed of her sexy back from where her creamy white satin dress fell away before hugging her every curve.

Irina sensed his presence with a tingle in her spine and turned with a sexy smile leaning back against the railing spinning her champagne flute in her fingers just as the ship began to move beneath them. A loud horn signaling its departure blew as it steamed forward sailing up the Gold Coast from Sydney Harbor.

Irina's thumb clicked over the small black remote in her hand and the surround sound on the deck began playing the song they'd first made love to.

**_*Crimson and Clover*_**

Jack walked with pounding heart and rapid breath over to where she was standing. A small table with more lit candles and a bucket of champagne was beside her and she picked up a flute full of bubbly and handed it to him when he stood before her.

"You're breathtaking," Jack shook his head and stare at her mouth, waiting for Irina to lean in slightly and then closed the distance, his tongue sweeping past her lips and into her sweet mouth tasting of champagne.

"Happy Birthday, Jack." Irina smiled knowing it was now that the ship was moving, her Captain was under orders to set sail at midnight.

"Sydney Harbor," He smiled looking over the city while wrapping his arms around her and spinning her in his embrace to pull her back against him as they set sail and approaching the Opera House and Bridge. "It's perfect," He smiled thinking about the night thirty years ago that they'd created Sydney on his birthday under this same sky, in the same harbor on a much smaller sailboat not too far from where they were right now. It had been their honeymoon on top of his birthday and he couldn't get enough of her then, looking at her now, the same held true. "Dance with me?" He stepped back, holding out his hand hearing the song and she melted into his arms.

Her eyes staring into his as they sway together and a million memories and emotions flooded through Irina bringing tears to her eyes at being back here, with him… her whole family.

"I love you." Irina spoke softly running her fingers over his ear and playing with his hair while they dance and began passing underneath the bridge. "Another dream come true." She smiled thinking about their dream of owning a boat and sailing through Sydney Harbor and up the Gold Coast before kissing him.

Jack tangled his hand into her hair as the kiss deepened his body pressing into her and hand skimming over her hot flesh on the small of her back making her mew into his mouth. The urgency to be one igniting inside them both and flaring the passion; her hands set to work immediately with lips still locking with his, hot tongues probing as she undid his dress shirt.

"Mine. All mine," She panted against his mouth when her hands raked down his arms and the shirt dropped to the floor, his chest pressed against hers with pounding heart to pounding heart, her head tilted an angle to kiss his mouth between her words feeling the possessiveness more for herself than over him at having him, again… here and in this place, under this Southern Sky where she'd cried herself to sleep many nights for years without him. Wishing in her heart to feel his skin on hers' and the muscles rippling beneath her touch, his tongue claiming her mouth in gentle but passionate sweeps and worshiping her body with it's every kiss, his body invading hers' and becoming one. "I've been waiting for this… a long time." She kissed his lips tugging on his bottom lip when she pulled away before plunging back in.

"So have I," Jack swept his arm behind her legs and picked her up, carrying her over to the mass of white throw pillows, sheets and blankets set up in the center just for this purpose and lay her back gently against them staring into her tear filled eyes with his own. "I love you, Irina… with everything I am, I love you." He smiled and leaned down, his weight pressing into hers while he claimed her mouth. His hands began to slowly pull the pieces of delicate fabric over her shoulders while his mouth followed down their trail as he undressed her.

"You know why we're here don't you?" Weiss laughed drinking champagne and looking around at the other couples in the hot tub with he and Sophia. His smile flashed over to Sydney with a giggle, "Thirty years ago on this night, in Sydney Harbor, your father's birthday on another boat… was that magical night!" He laughed as did everyone else catching on with all their' minds flashing to 'that night' in the film and then looking at Sydney's deep dimple blushing grin now. "Happy Conception, Syd!" Weiss raised his champagne glass smiling with a laugh and everyone else joined in his toast clinking glasses, including Sydney with a raging if not embarrassed smile, her heart bursting with happiness for her parents, for her family.

"Well, we should also then, toast to the Happy Conceptions of Anya," Sophia smiled behind her own giggle raising her glass again, "And, of Mitchell… as well as the First Anniversary of Carrie and Marshall!" She began to cheer, as did everyone else with clapping hoots and whistles with their' own flashes to the wild weekend in Vegas.

"I'm surprised the two of you are still hanging out with us instead of getting it on right now like Panama and the Empress." Weiss laughed looking over at the couple and Sydney splashed water at him.

"Eric!" Sydney flushed ten shades of red with a laugh shaking her head and not wanting to 'think' about what her parents were doing.

"What?" He yelped back at her with a splash and smile, "Come on, Syd! We all 'saw' your conception action on film not to mention your sister's smokin' conception in Panama! We'll all be lucky if we're not stranded in life rafts in the morning after the ship bursts into flames from their '_molten hot gravity of love'_ going on up there." He snickered and they all died in laughter.

* * *

**_*I Can See Clearly Now*_**

Irina brushed a kiss over Jack's chest where she was curled up beneath the tangled sheets with him, watching the spectacular sunrise in the morning. The smile on her face matching the one on his as she crawled over him, straddling his body and sitting up to look down at him. Jack's hand began to wander up her sides enjoying her gorgeous silhouette against the brilliant colors in the morning sky.

Irina's palms rested over his pecks and she flipped her hair over her shoulder sliding back further on his body and watching him gasp when their heat connected again in the early morning light.

The slight breeze was blowing stray strands around Irina's face and Jack reached up to cup the back of her neck, bringing her head down and kissing her mouth. Her tongue swept into his mouth the same time she bucked her hips up and back, impaling herself onto his morning wood and stealing both of their breath with a smile and small laugh.

"I love you," She whispered unable to stop smiling while her hips swirled under her own guidance and his with Jack's hands planted on either side of them.

"As I love you." Jack answered with a smile rolling his hips up and going deeper the same time his tongue reclaimed her mouth.

* * *

Irina stopped mid-scoop of her fruit salad standing at the glorious breakfast her staff had waiting on the Lower Deck when she and Jack joined everyone else. Weiss was humming beside her and when she realized what it was she broke out laughing and shook her head, taking her cup of juice and sitting down beside Jack.

"What?" Jack asked her with a curious smile bouncing Nadia on his knee.

"He's humming," Irina motioned with her head towards Weiss taking a seat across from them and Jack paused to listen a moment, "The theme to Love Boat." She laughed again as did everyone else and Jack shook his head with a smile.

"Highly appropriate, I think with so many conceptions and anniversaries to celebrate last night." Weiss winked at both Jack and Irina and then stuffed a piece of toast into his mouth with eye nodding down to the end of the table where Sydney was feeding Vaughn a strawberry and Marshall smiling madly playing with Carrie's fingers.

Jack swallowed hard with realization that it was also the anniversary of his granddaughter's conception and 'that' was the reason for the naughty twinkle he saw in his daughter's eyes last night. They too, were celebrating the conception of their own glorious first born. He was thrilled with his granddaughter but like Sydney, wanted to hold onto the belief she was conceived through Immaculate Conception. The images of finding them 'in action' at the palace rudely flashed before his eyes before he shook them out with a shake of his head and Irina laughed, knowing exactly what he'd been thinking.

She leaned in and locked her lips with his, her tongue skimming his mouths entrance with the barest of touches teasing and distracting him out of any thoughts other than remembering her warmth and hinting of promise with more to come later in the day when she winked at him and her hand closed over the top of his thigh under the table, skimming down and brushing against his manhood making him jerk slightly.

'Love Boat indeed,' Jack smiled at her with a mischievous grin on his face when his own hand snaked between her own bare thighs and slid up her leg teasing with the gentlest of touches pulling away just before reaching her bikini bottoms, the only thin fabric separating fiery contact.

* * *

Jack had set his daughter down on the deck giving her a wide-open space and facing her mother who was looking over the railing with the others. Looking down at Nadia rocking on all fours and lifting her little hand about to take off he shouted, "_Irina!_"

Irina whirled around startled by her husband who was kneeling behind their baby and her little arm in the air moving forward about to crawl and yelled over to her daughter standing across the deck on her right, _"Sydney!" _

Sydney dove for the camera bag beside her, pulling out two cameras, and then yelled to her own husband across from her, _"Vaughn!"_ And threw him the video camera while she dove down onto her stomach with still camera posed at her eye in time to captured Nadia's first movement forward.

"Come on, Doodle Bug, that's it! Come to Mama!" Irina knelt down with tears in her eyes as she beckoned for her baby girl and everyone else's movements had ceased with Jack's initial yell and then the subsequent rapid-fire action of readiness to capture it on film.

Nadia gurgled with a smile showing her two perfect little bottom teeth and rocked back and forth some more before moving again with head down and intent to reach her Mama. One tiny hand and knee slid after the other and she began moving slow at first and then took off.

"You did it!" Irina scooped her up immediately when her little Doodle Bug made it to her arms and kissed her head and tiny neck in rapid succession with tears in her eyes while everyone clapped and cheered for her little success.

"See! Your sister can do it!" Jack smiled over at his son, both of them now on all fours and Nicholas rocking and bobbing as well. "Come on Little Man, you can do it!"

Nicholas watched as his mother set his sister down and Nadia immediately started crawling towards Vaughn with the camera in his hands, and beckoning her to him and picked up his own little hand. They all held their breath to see if he'd follow with his knee and he did, only instead of crawling he sat back up and looked at them with his big brown eyes and then smiled.

"I guess he's not interested." Sydney laughed taking a picture of her brother sitting on the deck and her father still on all fours in the adorable moment.

"Boys are always slower than girls in motor skill development." Ryan smiled having experience with his own two boys as well as being a doctor. "He'll pick it up eventually. Right now he's content to have you carry him around." He laughed watching the little baby boy reaching up with his arms and fingers clasping for Jack to pick him up. "We're lazy like that as men."

* * *

**_*Porcelain*_**

"I'm the King of World!" Weiss yelled standing on the very front of the ship with arms spread and wind in his hair mimicking Jack in 'Titanic' and having a laugh with the others around him. "Get up here, Wild Thing, you have to be my Rose!" He laughed offering his hand to his fiancée and then helped her ever so carefully to stand in front of him. "Come Josephine come flying machine, up she goes up she goes!" He started singing while the two recreated the scene from the film making everyone laugh sunbathing on the deck and lounging in the outdoor pool.

"He's terribly funny." The Queen of Sweden smiled from her lounge chair sipping on her mixed drink.

"He's something alright." Jack shook his head chuckling at the young man who never ceased to make them all laugh. He slid into the pool from the side and motored over to Irina who was swimming with Nicholas.

"Watch. He already loves the water." Irina's smile lit her face as she held her baby boy away from her in the pool and then gently began to put him under the water and pull him towards her. When she pulled him back up the baby immediately started to giggle and coo, chewing on his little chubby fingers.

"He's not scared at all." Jack marveled kissing his little head and taking the boy from his mother to play.

"No fear like his sister," Gustav laughed watching Lena launch herself from the edge into Vaughn's awaiting arms in the pool.

The moment Lena came to the surface she was smiling and laughing and then pushing off Vaughn headed to the edge to scramble back up and do it again. He was holding tightly to her little body laughing with her enthusiasm.

* * *

**_*Find My Baby*_**

Ten days later they'd slowly made their way up the Gold Coast and were now having fun lounging around snorkeling and diving the Great Barrier Reef. They'd taken the smaller, but still large, boat into the reefs from the main ship and Irina emerged from below after just putting the twins to sleep for their nap. Sydney and Carrie had already done the same and now all four babies were sleeping peacefully in the coolness below aided to Dreamland with the gently rocking of the boat.

Most were partnered up and snorkeling around the reef fascinated by the fish and having a marvelous time, taking breaks in and out of the water. All of their skin now held a beautiful golden brown tint from the endless days in the sun.

Jack had come back in from the water after snorkeling for hours, exhausted and settled in with a drink in his hand under the boats canopy to escape the hot rays of the sun. Irina smiled at him, raking her hands over his strong naked shoulders before sitting on his lap and stealing the beer in his hand to take a drink.

"Hey!" Weiss screamed across the water, "We found Nemo!" Bobbing his goggle and snorkel covered head out of the water and sending them all into hysteria again. He had Lena in her little yellow inflatable boat, tied with a leash to his ankle and was pulling her around behind him as they floated around the reef.

A little window of clear plastic allowed Lena to smash her face into the front of her boat and look down into the water with them and they all marveled and laughed at her fearlessness in doing so. Little holes in the bottom of her boat allowed her legs to hang into the water and she loved kicking them around madly.

She was screaming excitedly with him and clapping her hands yelling, "Feesh! Feesh!" Enthralled with her surroundings of brightly colored fish.

When Weiss plunged his head back into the water and Lena did the same, looking into her little window, Irina kissed Jack on the lips and winked at him. She stood and untied her sarong from her waist and stepped up onto the back of the boat, diving off in fluid motion into the water.

Jack was smiling watching her form glide beneath the crystal clear water in her baby blue bikini and laughed when she swam under Lena, causing their baby to squeal with excitement and yell, "Mama feesh!"

Irina was smiling beneath the water a few feet below Lena, looking up at her through the little window and blew her a kiss before extending her arms in a backstroke and pushing forward beneath Weiss who immediately flew back in the water, startled and choking on the water intake.

"Good God!" He kept coughing with a smile when she surfaced in front of him to tread water, "For a moment there, I thought you were a mermaid!" He laughed as did she, "Or maybe a better term is 'siren." He chuckled under his breath thinking about the other name for the gorgeous women of the sea who lure men to their deaths in their depths. He yelped quickly when Sophia grabbed his foot under the water freaking him out.

The moment was broken when Irina's phone began to ring beside Jack. She immediately began to make a beeline back to the boat beneath the surface and Jack stepped up, offering his hand and pulled her light little body out of the water and onto the small deck. He handed her a towel and the phone with a kiss before resuming his beer drinking with Mikhail and Kendall under the shade.

Irina began speaking in Russian and it was clear she was speaking to Vladimir. The conversation didn't last long and ended with Irina sighing and setting the phone down with a sad smile. "I've got to go back now." She twisted her long hair over her shoulder releasing the excess water into her towel. "The Chechen Rebel leaders are actually in Moscow," She raised her eyebrows still astonished by that fact, "And are awaiting an audience with me." She hated leaving them three days early but she had to do, what she had to do.

"We could all go back or at least I, with you?" Jack offered hating to be away from her at all.

"No, you should stay." She smiled kissing his lips, "Have fun with everyone else. I have to leave quickly and honestly it would take too long to round everyone up and pack."

Jack nodded in understanding though his brows still knit at four days of separation.

"Are you taking the Munchkins?" He asked quietly, hopping she wasn't as he'd really be miserable without all of them.

"No," She smiled seeing the look in his eyes and brushed her hand over his cheek. "I'll leave them in your care. Though I'm going to miss them terribly, instead." She gave him a soft grin, tinged with sadness and Jack felt bad that she'd be without them. "Will you pull Lena out of the water soon, please? She's been out there a long time and I don't want her getting too much sun."

Jack smiled at the way she was 'always thinking,' even with a million things going on around her, she still had focus on the wellbeing of her children.

"You're leaving?" Julian swam up to the boat holding onto the back deck with arm folded and fisting his snorkel and goggles. He'd seen her swimming back to the boat after the phone call and then watched her re-tie her sarong around her hips. The look on his father's face held his answer that she was.

"Yes," Irina leaned over to kiss him goodbye and Julian pushed himself up on his arms leaning forward to meet her. She did the same with Ash just beside him. "Can you get Lena, please? I want to kiss her 'goodbye." She asked her son sweetly and he smiled, turning and plunging back under the water to swim over to where his little sister was 'snorkeling' in her boat.

Sydney had pulled herself out of the water to say 'goodbye' and wrapped her arms around her mother, holding tightly and kissing her.

"I love you, Sweetheart and I'll see you in a few days." Irina pegged Sydney's face with another kiss just as Julian was pulling Lena in her little boat up behind them. He extracted her from the little contraption handing her up to Irina who wrapped her in her soft green towel with the frog hood that sent everyone into hysteria when she yelled, "Fucky!" Excitedly at her favorite beach towel.

"Mama has to go 'bye-bye' my Snuggle Bug," She held Lena close and spoke softly in ear little ear, "I love you." She kissed her little head and then lips.

"Nyet! No Mama!" Lena yelled back sharply in Russian with little hands palming Irina's neck, "Come too! No bye-bye!" She started to cry, "Come too!"

Irina's eyes flashed up to Jack's, who was smiling and gave in, "Okay, you can come, too." She kissed her sweet little neck and handed Lena to Sydney to say 'goodbye' while she went and said her own to the twins, Anya and Mitchell. Irina sat on the Jet Ski and started it before carefully taking her little 'frog' from Jack with a smile and settled the little girl in front of her, holding on protectively with one arm. Her lips connected with his in a lingering kiss, brushing her hand over his cheek as he leaned over to her.

"We'll see you guys in four days. The helicopter will fly you to Cairns from the ship and the plane will be back and waiting for you there."

Jack nodded cupping her face once more and kissing her in the lingering goodbye, always hating the separation and knowing she hated the 'goodbyes' more, especially when they lingered. "I love you." He smiled and stepped back.

"I love you, too." She smiled and used her free arm to push them away from the boat. "My love to you all and we'll see you soon!"

"Irina," Kendall called out from beneath his shaded cabana with beer still in hand, "Be careful." He voiced his concern knowing the potentially dangerous men she was about to meet with and everyone smiled at hearing him speak it.

"I will," A smile lit Irina's face thinking about how much time had changed things between them. "Thank you." She gave him a nod and then held tight to Lena as the two took off across the calm reef waters towards the ship in the distance.

When the smaller black helicopter buzzed low over their heads a half hour later, they all waved and blew kisses skyward, wishing them well and sad to see them go.

* * *

Irina leaned back in her leather chair sitting in her office in the Kremlin after meeting with the Leaders, still in shock about the turn of events. Her hand picked up the phone and began dialing Jack's number already missing him and their children terribly after only two days away. Her eyes fell upon the photos spanning across the front of her desk and smiled, running her fingers over their cherubic little faces while listening to the phone ring on the other end.

"Hello My Love," Jack answered with a raging smile on the other end of the phone. His hand slid the phone to his shoulder after answering, freeing his hands once again to finish washing the twins sitting in the tub before him, gurgling and splashing happily around reaching for their brightly colored toys. "I miss you," He smiled swirling Nadia's sudsy hair with shampoo into a little point on the top of her head.

"I miss you, too. How is everyone?" Irina asked smiling hearing the gurgles and splashes in the background knew he must be bathing their babies, "It must be bath time."

"It is." Jack laughed dumping a cup of warm water over Nadia's head and watching her eyes widen in surprise. "They're missing Mama, though. They keep looking around and craning their little heads trying to find you."

"Awe…" Irina wished she could reach through the phone and hold them both, "I miss them too."

"How's the Peanut?" Jack asked doing the same with his son and Nicholas smiled and laughed, splashing around and loving the water.

Irina leaned her chair back further and smiled peering down at her sleeping daughter, "She's sleeping under my desk." She laughed looking at Lena's little form curled up on the floor, little butt in the air lying on her stomach and clutching her yellow bear with thumb in her mouth. "She was playing under there and suddenly it was quiet. I pulled my chair back and there she was," She chuckled, "She's got her little butt in the air. It's quite cute."

Jack was shaking his head laughing and trying not to drop the phone as he pulled Nadia from the tub first, setting her on the tub rug and wrapping her in a fluffy towel before reaching back in for his son.

"You have to take a picture of that. I've just got to see it. Mama's Little Shadow curled up under your desk."

"Olga already took a picture." She smiled thinking back to the moment her Kremlin secretary took the photo.

"Good." Jack smiled and then started laughing when Nadia started crawling away out the bathroom and into their room completely naked and giggling. "Hey you, come back here!" He laughed scooping up Nicholas under one arm and chasing after his daughter, "Nadia's escaping. She's fast and on the move constantly now that she knows she can go where she wants."

The image of Jack chasing their naked crawling baby with another under his arm made her smile, "You sound like you're having fun."

"We are but we really miss you and the Peanut," He nabbed Nadia making her giggle more. "How are things going there?"

"Unbelievable actually. In a surprise turn of events, they've not only offered a permanent cease fire but presented a petition, requesting they be reinstated as part of Imperial Russia." She smiled and heard his breath catch having felt the same way with the news.

"You're serious?" He asked in a gasp with his movements still and eyes wide, "They want to be under Russian rule now?"

"Apparently so." Irina smiled at another step forward in healing the old and deep wounds of her country, "Things have changed, they said, with the change in Russian rule and now want to be part of the Motherland again."

"That's incredible. Have you announced anything yet?" Jack flipped the television on in his room watching CNN.

"No, not yet. I said that before we move in this direction that I wanted to make sure it was what the Chechen people really wanted. So there will be an election. Supervised by outside nations to back up the legitimacy of the vote and then we'll see. If that is what the people want, then we'll take action to make it happen." She twirled slightly in her chair to look out her window at St. Basil's in the night sky with a sigh, "I'm just looking forward to peace, finally."

"You're incredible." Jack smiled with pride, "I love you, you know?"

"I know," Her smile lit her face, "I love you, too. I'll let you go to dress our little Loves, and please give them and everyone my love."

"I will," Jack smiled holding both babies in his lap on the bed in their towels, "Kiss the Peanut for me."

"I will." Irina smiled hating to say 'goodbye, "Goodnight, Jack."

"Goodnight, My Love."

* * *

**_*September*_**

_St. Petersburg, Russia - September 2004_

"Look at her! She's an exhibitionist!" Weiss laughed with his bride on his arm as they watched Lena tear around on the dance floor in nothing but her crown and pantaloons with tights and tiny black shoes. She'd some how gotten her dress off and Irina's eyes immediately canvassed the area to see where it had gone to. Continuously surprised at the speed of which her daughter could get undressed.

Jack was not at all thrilled with this 'trait' she'd inherited from her mother.

"Just like her mother." He mumbled shaking his head, trying not to laugh and felt Irina's elbow to his ribs.

"I am not an exhibitionist!" Irina slanted her perfected Derevko eyebrow with a coy smile.

"You're right, you don't purposely try to attract attention; you just do." He smiled and leaned in kissing her lips.

"And Lena isn't either," Sydney laughed carrying the discarded dress she'd found beside the bush near the dance floor set up on the grounds for the wedding reception outside the palace. "She just doesn't like clothes these days."

"You're going to have your hands full with that one, Jack." Ben Devlin laughed sipping on his champagne and watching where Sophia and Weiss were now dancing with a half naked Lena, who looked impossibly cute.

"And that would be different from Sydney, how?" Jack snickered remembering the days his oldest went through her stripping phase and then to the outfits she wore on insane missions that combined, made his blood pressure skyrocket.

Sydney slapped his arm with playful grin, "I wasn't a handful! I was a good kid!"

"You can be a good kid, and still be a handful." Jack argued back playfully, "You'll see." He smiled at his gorgeous granddaughter in Irina's arms bouncing and gurgling happily watching Lena dancing and giggling.

"_I wuv dangew, Mommy'_ comes to mind," Irina laughed remembering her tiny little girl's raging smile after riding her tricycle off the couch. Sydney was certainly a handful, but she was also an amazing little girl that never ceased to bring a smile to her parent's lips.

"So should we try to wrangle her back into this?" Sydney held up the gorgeous little flower girl gown her sister had once been wearing.

"Nah," Irina smiled brightly, "She'll just tear it off again. I'm surprised she kept it on this long." She laughed watching Lena mimicking Sophia and Weiss by wiggling her little body down to the ground and then back up again with non-stop giggles erupting from her tiny form.

"Mama," Bella smiled walking over with a crying Nadia, "The little angel has awaken from her nap and is missing her mother."

"Oh Sweetheart," Irina cooed with a soft smile, "It's okay, My Little Love, don't cry." She smiled as she traded babies with Bella, instantly kissing and nuzzling Nadia. The baby calmed instantly in her arms and bit on her tiny finger with fat teardrops rolling down her chubby little cheeks. "Let's go dance with your sister and the bride and groom." She kissed Nadia's little neck and twirled and bounced gently on her feet out onto the dance floor making everyone smile and laugh when Irina holding the baby joined in the circle with Weiss, Sophia and Lena and wiggled down to the ground on her haunches in her grand grown in full regalia and then back up again making Lena laugh and Nadia smile and giggle in her own baby giggle.

"So we open gifts tomorrow, the kids leave in the evening for their honeymoon, Rina's flying to Chechnya the following morning to finish officially taking over the country, and then the kids fly back and then we're off to India for Julian and Ash's wedding and then after that you're flying back to the States and we're meeting again for Thanksgiving in LA?" Marcelo asked aloud confirming the hectic schedule the next couple of weeks with a smiling ramble to get his point across that it was crazy, "Nothing like… nonstop go, go, go!" He laughed watching his daughter, the bride, and never seeing her happier on the dance floor with her new husband and family. She seemed to be glowing she was so radiantly beautiful.

"Irina told me earlier that you are the ones giving Sophia and the Joker their honeymoon trip?" Kendall asked with a smile to Jack, "She told me with that look in her eyes and smile that said she was up to something. So what is it, Bristow? What are you and the Devil Woman up to now?"

Jack just laughed and shook his head keeping his eyes on his 'devil woman' who looked nothing like anything but an angel dancing and laughing with their little girls.

* * *

**_*Never, Never Going to Give You Up*_**

"This is your fault!" Sophia swatted her husband on the shoulder before breaking into hysterical laughter looking at the bedroom before them that had been completely transformed.

Barry White's voice crooning loudly the moment they opened the door and drawing everyone's attention from their rooms where they'd all just gone to bed.

Their room was bathed in deep red light with a disco ball hanging in the center of the ceiling reflecting flecks of light around the room as it spun above. The ceiling and walls were all draped with red hanging fabric and their bed had been replaced with a giant heart shaped sized one in the center of the room below the disco ball and currently vibrating. In the corner a mini-stair case led to the top of a giant champagne glass bubble bath. Thousands of red rose petals were thrown all over the floor, on the bed and in the water swirling in the enormous 'glass' tub. An open treasure chest to the left of the bed was overflowing with 'naughty toys' and a bucket with champagne and a sliver tray of chocolate covered strawberries on a small table near the bed completed the picture.

The crowd behind them looking in immediately burst into hysterical laughter seeing the room and Jack and Irina walked up behind them all looking especially pleased and holding hands.

"This is your doing!" Sophia wheeled on them with a wide smile pointing to her aunt shaking her head and burning bright red.

Irina shrugged with a satisfied smile and curled into Jack's body, "It was a team effort." She smiled with her hand snaking down Jack's backside pinching his butt and making him jump slightly, "You can thank Jack for the vibrating in the bed."

"Thought that might help you, keep your stamina up all night," Jack smirked trying not to laugh looking at Weiss who was burning bright red, "Sorry." Jack turned to Marcelo and apologized to the father of the bride but this was an opportunity to get back at them that was just too good to pass up.

Vaughn and Sydney were laughing so hard they were practically rolling on the floor holding each other up with yet another win for her parents in the battle of a hysterical war between them and Sophia and Weiss. It had begun between Weiss and her mother and along the way her father and Sophia had become casualties of that war and now willing participants.

"Come everyone, now let's leave them alone to enjoy their first evening as husband and wife." Irina kissed both of their cheeks and departed down the hallway with Jack, the others still laughing as they too walked away leaving the bride and groom standing dumbfounded in the doorway cast in a red glow of light and sparkles coming from their room.

A roar of laughter ringing out from those down the hall when they heard Jack begin to sing along with Barry White on the way to his room with Irina leaning into his side.

* * *

"When in the hell did you two have time to do that?" Weiss laughed taking the last gift box from Sydney as they all sat around opening gifts in the morning. His attention was on Jack and Irina as they'd all just been laughing about the 'room of love.'

"As soon as the procession left the palace yesterday morning for the church I had Iliyah and his team come in immediately and get to work." Irina smiled snuggled up next to Jack on the couch holding both of her babies who were busy chewing on rubber key ring toys in full teething mode and drooling happily with gurgles and smiles, "Jack and I picked everything out upon our return from Mexico." She continued to smile while everyone laughed and Jack kissed her temple.

"Our room is going to stay like that?" Sophia's eyebrows shot up with a flash of horror in her eyes at the thought. The idea was funny for one night but she really didn't care for it permanently.

"No," Irina laughed seeing the look on both their faces, "He's coming back later today with the same team to transform it back to the way it was before."

"Oh, thank God." Sophia sat down beside her husband with a large sigh that made everyone laugh again.

"It doesn't have a card?" Weiss looked at the box in his hands and then to Sydney who had passed out all the gifts.

"Not that I can find. Maybe they put it in the box. We had a couple of gifts like that. Its kind of nice so you don't lose the cards." Sydney sat on the floor and kissed Anya's little fist while her daughter bounced in her play saucer, also teething and chewing a rubber flower for just that purpose.

Weiss tore open the box to reveal another smaller box roughly the same size and shape as a long watch box and found a small note on the ribbon around the box,

"_To my Husband, With all My Love, Your Wild Thing_." Eric read aloud and everyone awed. "I didn't know you got me something?" Weiss smiled with an anxious tone, "I thought we were going to wait until we were on our honeymoon to find our gifts for each other?"

"It was kind of last minute. I just found it this morning and couldn't wait to give it to you." Sophia smiled nervously with a sigh in a way Katya had never noticed before and in a way only a mother would notice.

Her hand slowly squeezed Marcelo's with her eyes watering already watching her son-in-law opening the box and daring to hope, she was right and already knew what it was.

Weiss pulled out a white stick that looked like a thermometer and read the line in the little window, "You're pregnant." He read aloud without thinking and then it hit him what he was holding and what it was saying, "You're pregnant! You're pregnant?" He flashed his eyes to his new wife holding the stick and feeling his heart pounding in his chest.

"Yes," Sophia smiled with tears in her eyes sitting on her knees beside him on the floor looking up at him in the chair, "I suspected for a few days and finally just took the test this morning."

"You're pregnant!" Weiss shouted in astonishment with an enormous smile and she nodded again, laughing nervously. He jumped out of the chair and swooped her up into his arms, hugging her and twirling her around laughing and crying with her in their shared unexpected joy. Everyone else began to clap and cheer with tears of happiness in their eyes as well as laughter.

"Congratulations, Babushka." Irina leaned over and whispered into her sister's ear, sitting beside Katya on the couch with tears streaming down her cheeks and wearing a stunned smile.

When the congratulations died down and the laughter set in seeing the look of awe and shock written all over Weiss's face Vaughn couldn't help but rib him. "It wasn't on Jack's birthday was it?" He laughed teasing him and everyone else did as well, with Jack just shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"I don't know," Sophia laughed with tears of happiness in her eyes, really having no idea when, "I guess then it really would be the 'Love Boat."

"And forevermore known as, 'The Cruise of Conception." Vaughn added laughing hysterically seeing both his father-in-law and Weiss burning bright red and adverting their eyes from each other laughing.

* * *

"I don't like this." Jack sat on the end of the bed watching the television and CNN showing the images of protestors and some rioters in Chechnya who did not like the fact that the majority of the country had voted to become part of Imperial Russia again.

A small band of people had been showing their disproval outside the governmental buildings there ever since the election was over but the violence of the protestors had increased exponentially since the announcement that Mother Russia herself was to arrive later in the evening to sign the official documents.

Even though she hadn't officially taken over the country yet, Irina had ordered that no harm come to the protestors as long as they didn't harm anyone else. It was the first step in showing them she was not a tyrannical leader and that she believed in their rights to protest their feelings as long as they weren't intruding on other's rights.

"I don't want you to go," Jack spoke again watching as she finished packing her bag, wearing just her black bra and slacks not finished dressing yet.

"Jack," Irina sighed hating having this discussion every time she was faced with going into a potentially dangerous situation without him. "I-" She was about to start her standard comeback when he cut her off.

"I know what you're going to say." He stood going over to her and taking her hands in his, looking into her big dark eyes, "That you have to go, this is just the way it is, these are just the things you have to do; that you'll be fine and safe and home in a few days. That you love me and understand my worry and concern and you don't want me to come with you because you… we," He corrected himself, "Want our children to have at least one parent with them at all times for these prolonged departures, which is why we decided against full-time Nannies." He sighed reaching up to cup her cheek with one hand, "I understand that you have to go, that this is the way it just is and this is something you have to do. I'm just telling you, I don't want you to go… even if I know you have to." He gave her a sad smile and then leaned in to kiss her lips slightly. "I know you're under enough stress and pressure without me adding to it. I told you before we started down this path that I was going to stand by your side and support you in this. I am. But I also can't help the concern I have when, you… 'my heart' is put into questionable situations." He smiled softly brushing his nose with hers, holding her hands between them, "I got something for you." He whispered.

"What?" Irina asked smiling in love with the man who was continuously surprising her.

Jack kissed her lips once more quickly and then went to his closet. He returned with a box and set it on the bed in front of her, below where the oldest of the their three little Munchkins, Lena, was already asleep. Sleeping with Daddy having become the norm, when Mommy was away.

**_*Crazy Love*_**

"Something for you to wear close to your heart going into these questionable situations." He smiled and she lifted the lid from the box to reveal a black formfitting, lightweight Kevlar vest to be worn under her clothes.

Irina laughed softly, shaking her head as she lifted it from the box and Jack took it out of her hands, undoing the straps and began to put it on her sensually.

"I also got you one in white and nude," He laughed softly securing the last strap staring into her eyes for a moment before dropping his head and planting a kiss to the Kevlar just over her heart, 'his heart.' "Much better." He smiled looking up at him and then kissed her deeply when she thread her fingers into his hair and pulled him close.

Just before Irina left, she stepped in front of Jack beside the bed, "I'll take good care of your heart, I promise," She smiled, kissing his lips one last time and then dipped her own head, kissing his chest just above his heart and then leaning over to do the same with Lena, pressing her lips over her daughter's tiny chest and heart, "And you take good care of mine."

"I promise." Jack smiled widely watching her kiss Lena's little cheek one more time. She brushed her lips against his one last time and then left their room, stopping by the nursery to kiss both Nadia and Nicholas goodbye in the same way with a smile on her face and then left.

When Irina walked into her bedroom in the middle of the night four days later, she smiled to see her Snuggle Bug and husband snuggled together on her bed.

Lena was sleeping draped over his chest in the same way Irina slept on Jack with little arm flung over him and head over his heart. Jack had one arm and hand protectively over their daughter's little back and his other arm, was flung up around his head.

She couldn't stop smiling quietly taking her clothes off and slipping into a nightgown with her eyes on them. It used to be the other way around, she thought, with Sydney sleeping with Mommy when Daddy was away at work, coming home late at night or in the early morning to find them curled up together in bed and would slip into bed with them. Now she was doing the same with Lena and her Daddy snuggled up together.

Irina carefully slid under the sheets on Jack's side of the bed, snuggling into his side and laying her head on his shoulder smiling at Lena's sleeping face just inches from her own. Jack awoke immediately and pulled his arm down and around his wife, kissing her forehead with a smile and then lips when she tilted them up to greet him.

"Welcome home." He smiled looking at her and then Lena both snuggled against him and fell back to sleep with a smile on his face. Irina stayed awake a few minutes longer, still smiling as she fingered Lena's long hair over her little shoulder and watched her rise and fall in a steady rhythm with Jack's breathing. She kissed his chest and then fell asleep wearing the same smile.

* * *

"So we found out when the baby's due." Weiss beamed proudly with Sophia sitting on his lap on the suede sofa on Imperial One, in the air and on the way to India for Julian's wedding.

"April 1st." Sophia smiled excitedly.

"Your baby is due on _April Fool's Day_?" Vaughn burst out laughing looking at Weiss, "Oh, the irony!" He laughed with everyone else.

"Highly appropriate that the child of the Joker is due on the day of celebrated pranks." Jack smiled with a laugh.

"So it wasn't the Cruise of Conception after all?" Vaughn laughed knowing that if the baby was due that early in the month she was already pregnant when they sailed from Sydney Harbor, "You were already pregnant then."

"Yep, just some random hot night in mid-July." Weiss laughed boastfully, feeling quite proud of himself that he was actually going to be a father.

"It was actually, hot 'day,' My Husband," Sophia corrected her husband with the naughty Derevko gleam in her eyes, "Remember?" She winked at him recalling that hot 'day' very well were they'd basically just jumped each other with hot wild lovemaking in the laundry room.

"Ohhh!" Weiss's eyes went wide with a huge grin recalling it as well, "That day?" He asked in disbelief and then started laughing wildly when Sophia nodded.

"We're obviously missing something." Sydney smirked with a deep giggle looking between the two newlyweds.

"A _'Back In Black'_ moment, Syd," Weiss winked at her and then turned his raging smirk to Jack and Irina while everyone else laughed and Sydney's mouth fell open at what that song implied in relation to her parents.

"Oh God! Now I have that visual, too!" She clamped her hands over her head laughing and turning various shades of red, "I swear to God, my family's crazy…" she mumbled to herself looking down and shaking her head.

"Oh don't claim to be so innocent of this family's 'craziness,' Sweetheart," Irina teased her back with a raging smile and in a saucy mood, "You little naughty Librarian with your Pool Boy." She laughed and everyone else went into hysteria with Jack and Sydney's simultaneous screams of "_Irina!_" and "_Mom!_" while Vaughn's face drained of color and he slid down into the chair before turning ten shades of red.

They all realized Irina had caught Sydney and Vaughn in those 'moments' at least twice, in the library and pool apparently.

"Oh, don't even get me started, Miss Unfinished Business!" Sydney challenged her back burning bright red with a smile and trying to deflect the embarrassment.

"Hmm, that reminds me," Irina draped her leg over Jack's where she was sitting curled into his side on the loveseat, her finger trailing down his jaw with a sexy grin, "We need to watch that tape. We keep forgetting to."

_"Mom!" "Irina!"_ Jack and Sydney both screeched again in mortification.

"You guys have your own porn?" Weiss squealed with laughter hearing they'd kept the tape of Jack driving Irina into the glass cell wall, "That's hot!"

"We do not… have our own porn." Jack quickly corrected him trying to keep his composure though it was hard with Irina playing with his ears burning with a flash of heat and hearing her deviant laughter.

"Stop talking about it! Please!" Sydney squealed covering her ears and squinting her eyes as the flashes of that moment on the monitors raced into her mind and she shook her head violently sending them into another fit.

* * *

_Amritsar, India_

"Wow," Jack gasped softly setting his bag down carefully on the bed looking around Irina's room once they'd gotten to her farm.

"What?" She asked already stripping out of her clothes to change into something lighter for the hot climate. She paused in her closet after taking her shirt off to look at him.

"It's just…" Jack sighed seeing flashes from the film of her lying on the same bed getting extremely drunk and then passing out in so much pain from losing him. "Come here." He began walking over to her motioning with his hands to come to him.

"What? What is it?" Irina's eyebrow slanted in concern seeing the sweeping look going through his eyes. She slid her hands up his back and hung onto his shoulders from behind with her chest pressed to his.

Jack's only response was to capture her lips in a searing kiss, with hands gripping her body and holding her tightly. "I just needed that." He whispered with foreheads resting together. "I love you, you know?"

"I know." Irina smiled palming his cheek and lifting his face to meet her dark sparkling eyes knowing what he was thinking about now, "I never let go, Jack, I never let go…" Her smile brightened when he smiled with a soft laugh from her response in a reworded phrase from the film that had echoed through this house, that night. "I love you," She whispered back to him, brushing their noses before kissing his lips again sweetly, "Why don't we stay here tonight… babysitting while they all go out?" She trailed her fingers down his chest and felt his own pressing into the small of her back, "We'll have the house to ourselves after they're asleep."

"I like this idea." Jack smiled kissing her jaw and then down her neck when she tilted it for better access.

* * *

**_*Thoda Resham Lagta Hai*_**

"Have I told you how incredibly beautiful you are today?" Jack asked with a smirk while Irina peeled the shirt from his sweaty body. He passed her the bottle of rum as a reward when she completed the task standing in the kitchen having put the babies to sleep hours ago and come inside after sitting in the sticky heat on the porch talking and drinking with their old friend, Indian rum.

"I don't think you have," Irina hiccupped with another giggle when Jack's tongue swirled around on her pulse point.

"You're incredibly beautiful," Jack kissed down her arm slowly walking towards her when Irina kept stepping backwards. "And wearing too many clothes." His mouth hit the fabric of her pink sari shirt and a broad hand slid around her bare stomach around behind her to unzip the barrier.

"I'm hungry." Irina's brain suddenly short-circuited with a giggle, "Maybe we should make some toast." She slurred her speech slightly taking another drink of the liquid and gasping softly when Jack slid his hand under the now lose fabric and thumb brushed over her nipple grabbing its attention.

"No toast." Jack shook his head with a naughty smile and laugh, "The only fire I plan on extinguishing tonight is the one inside me… burning for you." His own speech was slightly slurred, slowly pulling the fabric down her arms and exposing her breasts.

"That was very poetic, Jack." Irina snorted with laughter, her fingernails raking down his chest and leaving a red, welted path in their wake until they stopped at the button on his pants. "Well Captain, with all the alcohol in me, mine is more like an inferno." She giggled and hiccupped again.

"That hot, huh?" Jack's hand began to pull at the fabric of her skirt and slide his hand slowly up the length of her thigh knowing she didn't have any panties on having watched her get dressed, "Like any good fireman, I need to assess the situation before going in."

Her breath hitched when he backed her fully against the wall and his fingers brushed against her heat already slick with desire.

"And what is your assessment, Captain," She asked through seductive eyes while her one hand continued to work on his pants, her other gripping the neck of the rum bottle.

"Well, its definitely hot… raging," He slid his fingers up inside her lifting her to her toes and gasp with thumb pressing against her clit, "All kinds of warning bells going off." He smiled feeling her muscles pulsate around his fingers and her eyes begin to turn black, the pulse point in her neck was pounding.

"Well then, Captain" She gasped again when her fingers brushed against his rock hard cock sliding her hand beneath the boxers elastic and finding her hips involuntarily thrust against his palm towards his cock, "You'd better grab your fire hose, and get in there quick!"

Jack laughed at her quick wit even when drunk and pushed his pants and boxers down just enough to set his 'fire hose' free. Her fingers digging into the top of his exposed ass cheeks bringing him closer while he slowly pumped his shaft with her hot juices still covering his hand and invading his senses with her scent.

His tongue lapped at the drop of sweat rolling down her neck from the stifling heat and tasted the salt on her skin. His hand left his now flaming cock to join the other and push her dress back up, claiming her lips in a bruising kiss before lifting her off the ground with fingers clenching into her ass.

Irina moved her arms and draped them over his shoulders, she gasped loudly digging her nails in when she felt his length spear up and into her with one fast thrust and her body shuddered at the welcomed invasion.

"Oh fuck! You feel fantastic." Jack groaned at being inside her encompassing heat with her tight muscles grabbing greedily at his cock causing him to stretch and lengthen further inside her with the searing blood raging to his groin.

She bucked her own hips in making him go deeper and moan against her neck where his mouth was laving circles and nipping at her flesh. She locked her legs around him and Jack slowly pulled back groaning loudly when Irina gripped him hard internally able to feel every one of his ridges caressing her heat.

He thrust hard and fast again unable to control himself and the urge to pummel into her fast and furiously with the small sounds escaping form the back of her throat and searing heat.

"You're not going fast enough, Captain." Irina laughed and jerked her pelvis trying to speed up his pace, "I just may shatter and cave in around you." She moved her own lips down his neck with tongue trailing in scorching paths following the throbbing veins in his neck.

"That's my plan." Jack pulled rapidly out and slammed into her again stealing her breath and groaning with a hiss when she bit his shoulder breaking the skin. He moved one hand up from her ass and braced himself with it against the wall, and began his pounding pace.

The liquor from the bottle sloshed out onto his shoulder from the vigorous pounding onto the open wound from her teeth making him hiss loudly in a mix of pleasure and pain and capture the arm that held the bottle, ceasing his movements. He threw it back against the wall above Irina's head and then the other pinning her there with a determined look in his eyes to make her shatter and laughed softly with a grunt and groan when he speared her again lifting her higher onto the wall with his efforts and the rum slosh wildly in the bottle in her hand above their heads.

She was dripping wet in a continuous stream and his movements were fluid when he picked up the rapid pace again driving them both towards the edge.

"Is this fast enough," Jack asked with a grunt and sweat running down his face and plunging his tongue deep into her mouth and making her moan loudly again with her every space invaded with his own heat. His mouth moved to ravage her neck and Irina's eyes flashed up to Weiss and Sophia standing in the doorway with wide eyes.

"Hello." Irina smiled with a giggle and a hiccup while Jack continued to pound into her, she bit him again on the shoulder to get his attention making him hiss and when his foggy mind and black eyes flashed to hers she nodded towards the doorway that they had visitors.

Jack immediately stopped his thrust fully inside Irina and dropped her arms, pressing further into her and covering what he could of her naked chest in an instant.

"Oh, you're _so_ busted!" Weiss shook his drunken fuzzy head with a laugh as everyone else came in behind them; Sydney's eyes going wide and unblinking at the sight before her pushing past him in her own tipsy state.

**_*Wada Na Tod*_**

Her breath sucked in making a squeaking noise as she stay frozen with the profile view of her father's pelvis pinning her mother to the wall. His bare chest and the arm that was bracing his movements the only thing stopping their full view of her mother's naked torso though the swells of her breasts were clearly visible; the skirt of her sari bunched up around her waist exposing the soft curve of her naked ass cheek and her long legs wrapped around his hips, locked at the ankles and currently clicking her heels against the bottoms of her feet playfully.

Her mother seemed thoroughly amused or perhaps just not caring with her inhibitions gone, lost in the almost empty bottle of Indian Rum she tipped back and took another sip from, some of it running down her chin and onto her chest.

"Sweet, Jesus, Mary and Joseph…" Kendall hissed under his breath and shook his own foggy head blinking hard in disbelief he was really seeing what he was seeing watching Irina lick the rum from her lips; the live action version of the infamous 'toaster' scene being recreated in front of his eyes.

"Oh. My. God." Sydney finally breathed out and heard Katya break out into laughter at seeing them in the dimly lit kitchen amongst the candles, looking all sweaty and the air around them thick with the scent of alcohol and hot steamy passion. The bite mark already bruising and with hints of blood and the red welts from her nails on Jack's body said it all. The Siberian Tiger was in full attack mode this evening.

Ann Peterson, who was trying not to laugh with eyes as wide as saucers looking from sweaty mostly naked couple to her husband who looked like he was having a heart attack staring at his 'Mrs. Robinson' and then remembering he hadn't seen the heart-stopping lap dance Irina gave Jack in Vegas. This was his first Live Action experience between the two and she couldn't help but giggle seeing his reaction.

Jack was frozen in place staring at everyone and then moved slightly trying to cover more.

"No! Don't move!" Sydney gasped horrified to see their pelvic regions moving against each other at all. "Just... don't move!" She covered her eyes fighting through her own alcohol-induced fog.

Julian for the first time ever behind his smile and wide eyes was blushing red having never caught his Mama and father in the act. Never before had he felt the flush of crimson and snickered turning away when he looked from they, who were obviously quite happy enjoying themselves, his mother still looking quite happy for that matter, and then to his sister who was covering her eyes.

"Okay, we won't." Irina laughed with a hiccupping giggle again unable to stop, "How about all of you move instead? Go! You're home early and we're not quite finished. We love you all… and have a goodnight." She winked with slurred speech and blew them a kiss before shooing them away.

Astonishment, wide eyes, laughter and gasps rang through the crowd as they backed up and slowly began to go to their rooms in the enormous house shaking their heads in hilarity and disbelief with mumbles of, "_Seriously a good thing she had her tubes tied," and "Do those two know how 'not' to have hot sex?" _

"Fine! But nobody goes near the toaster!" Sydney spoke with her eyes covered not wanting any fires and horrified with the slow uptake to realize now what she just agreed to, leaving so they could '_finish_.' "Argh!" She screamed suddenly and spun around with eyes still covered being led away by a snickering husband who also grabbed Weiss and Sophia pulling them away from the doorway.

"Now Captain, where were we?" Irina smiled sucking in Jack's bottom lip and thrusting in a circle on his hips.

"You can't be serious?" Jack asked still in state of horrified shock, though mostly numb from the alcohol and yet still burning with fire from her every touch and mewing softly feeling her gripping him again, caressing his member still buried deeply inside her.

"Quite." Irina sucked his tongue into her mouth wrapping her arms around his neck and thrusting herself on his still form, "I'm about to spontaneously combust and either you put this fire out… or I'll be forced to do it myself." She snagged his lip again with her teeth, sliding one hand between their sweat slicked bodies towards her heat and Jack plunged his tongue back in as the thought of Irina 'doing it herself' flooded his mind. His hips piston as they never had before, recapturing her arms and tried to keep their sounds of approaching explosions as quiet as possible quickly approaching the edge.

Irina screamed into Jack's mouth when the blinding tidal wave hit her and she dropped the bottle, the glass and rum shattering at their feet on the tile.

"I guess that means they're finished." Weiss snickered looking around him to where everyone had stopped dead in their tracks in the middle of the house hearing the muffled scream and bottle shattering on the floor.

"Oh God, Irina!" Jack couldn't hold back his scream having tried to with gritted teeth but her explosion had been so violent around him he had been sucked into the abyss caught off guard with its blinding force shooting through him into her.

"No," Katya snickered while her body shook with held in laughter after they all jumped hearing his scream pierce the darkness, "Now, they're finished."

"I'm going to require therapy." Sydney fell against the doorway to her room rubbing her forehead and talking to herself making them all laugh softly, "Lots and lots of therapy."

"Or just learn to accept, you can't fight '_the gravity of love_!" Weiss shouted out singing loudly, loud enough for Jack and Irina to hear and laughed when the others chorused loudly with "_O Fortuna_!"

They were all laughing hysterically when Sophia grabbed him, pulling him rapidly into their own room and throwing him on the bed and closing the door. The feral look in her eyes when she immediately started stripping and walking towards him had him immediately tearing at his own clothes trying to get them off.

"Hot damn!" He breathed just before crashing his mouth into hers and feeling her naked breasts pressed against his own chest.

"Seriously," Sydney lay in bed with arm bent and resting over her forehead in drunken disbelief contemplation, "They've got to be the most insanely in love couple on the face of this planet." Her mind flashed to the fact that they'd been caught, even by their own children, and didn't care, shooed them all away and kept on going, "It's no wonder they hated each other with such an intensity if this is the flip side. They're absolutely mad." She shook her head.

"Madly in love." Vaughn smiled crawling into bed beside her after taking one last look at their sleeping baby in her little crib that Irina had set up and waiting for her. "As I am with you," He crawled over her and rested his weight on his elbows lowering his head to hers and kissing her lips gently before claiming it fully and ceasing any more thoughts of her parents as they became lost in each other.

* * *

_***Punjabi Wedding Song***_

The wedding festivities were in full swing the following day with everyone having a marvelous time. Neither, Jack or Irina said a thing about the moment in the kitchen the night before though neither could tear the smiles from their faces or the glow about them.

The men couldn't help but blush every time they looked at Irina today and the women felt the same flush of warmth and an automatic grin when looking at Jack. Whenever the two of them were together, everyone diverted their smiling eyes blushing madly with snickers.

Weiss couldn't handle it anymore and had to say something to tease them. He walked right up to Jack holding Nadia watching Irina dancing with Julian standing beside Devlin, Kendall and several others. He held his hand out to Jack waiting for him to take it before saying anything.

Jack clasped his hand with a suspicious eyebrow and Weiss broke into a full smile saying, "My God, man. My God." The others chuckled and then broke into laughter when Jack smirked with a tint of red in his cheeks. "How do you keep up with her?" Weiss was bewildered having trouble already keeping up with Sophia and her wild pregnancy surge of passion.

"Lots of _V8_, Darling." Irina suddenly came up behind Weiss kissing his cheek and curling into Jack's side with a deviant smile having heard the question and guessed what they were talking. "Lots of _V8_." She teased with a wink and then laughed seeing his eyes widen, she kissed Jack's lips and took Nadia from him. Returning to the dance floor with her adorable baby girl with all eyes on her as the group tracked her back there astonished.

"Was she joking?" Weiss asked with hand held out and wide eyes, "Is she joking? Seriously?" He asked again rambling to himself in question about the vitamin drink V8 and Jack and the others laughed.

"I don't think its hard… _difficult!_" Ben changed his wording laughing, "To keep up. When you're married to such a beautiful woman." His eyes tracked from Irina to his own wife with a smile.

"Especially when you're madly in love with her." Jack's eyes were only on Irina who was smiling and laughing before them as she danced and had a good time.

"Yes, well there's that, too." Ben laughed shaking his head looking between the two and still seeing the mad intensity and fiery connection that he had thirty years ago. They still looked at each other as if they were the only two people in the room. He smiled seeing Irina's eyes lock with Jack's and her smile grew staring across the floor at them and seeing only Jack even as she continued to move.

* * *

_**AN: I just wanted to let everyone know that I won't be updating again until next week, likely Monday, due to travel restrictions.- Wild**_


	39. Chapter 39

_**AN: Thank you for the patience. I had to attend a funeral for the sudden loss of a loved one. **_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Dragula **_**by Rob Zombie**_**, March of the Toys **_**by Christmas Spirit**_**, The Nutcracker **_**by ****Tchaikowsky**_**, My Favorite Things **_**by Christmas Spirit**_**, I Will Remember You**_** by Amy Grant,**_** Gravity of Love **_**by Engima**_**, **_**_Kissing You _by Desiree from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack_._**

* * *

THIRTY-NINE

o

_Los Angeles - October 31st, 2004_

"She has seriously got to be the cutest cat I've ever seen." Vaughn smiled looking at his daughter dressed as an Aristocat from the Disney film, which Sydney thought highly appropriate for their baby girl as the kittens in the film were French and her daughter was after all, one quarter.

"Oh, I have to agree." Irina gasped with hand over her heart taking pictures of her granddaughter on the living room floor of their house where she was propped up against Sydney's old beanbag from high school.

Anya was loving her costume and wiggling around happily sitting up, throwing around her puffy mitten covered 'paws' and swiping at Vaughn's face when he moved in repeatedly to kiss her stomach. Mitchell was crawling around on the floor as a vampire chasing Nadia who was dressed as a Cossack heading towards her brother who was playing with their toys, dressed as a Cowboy. Their costumes were entirely too cute and brought laughter and smiles to everyone whenever they looked at them.

"What are they doing to her? What's taking this long?" Vaughn asked with a laugh looking towards the French Doors with curtains drawn shutting them out from seeing outside in the backyard.

Weiss and Sophia had come to Irina and Jack saying they found the perfect costume for Lena and wouldn't they 'pretty please' let them get her ready for her first real experience going door-to-door Trick-or-Treating. For the last half hour, the backyard was off limits to everyone while they got her ready.

"I have no idea but knowing my daughter and son-in-law…" Katya shrugged her eyebrow with a laugh stealing a piece of candy corn from the large black kettle bowl, "It's going to be entertaining, for certain."

"Okay," Sophia came inside with a huge giggly grin, "She's ready."

"You take the camera, I'll get a baby." Irina smiled handing Jack the camera and already laughing seeing the look in Sophia's eyes of hysterical laughter held back and about to be released. She picked up the nearest baby to her, Nicholas the little Cowboy while Katya grabbed Nadia and Carrie and Sydney each brought out their own babies to see Lena. Everyone else followed them outside and were told to wait on the back deck while Sophia disappeared around the side of the house to get Lena and her husband.

"Ok Princess Tiger Lilly," Weiss kissed her and set her in place, "Let's go!" He smiled and started walking around the house, looking back to make sure she was following him and already laughing looking back at her.

When he came around the corner with Sophia, everyone turned their' heads to see Lena and Sophia hit _Play_ on the remote in her hand for the backyard surround-sound.

**_*Dragula*_**

The tiny girl came roaring out from around the corner in a black miniature Humvee electric toy car that immediately had them laughing hysterically to see her driving such a thing and then to see what she was wearing.

Weiss helped her out of the car and held her fingers while Lena walked up towards them wearing black leather boots, pants, and the exact same form fitting front zippered leather jacket like her mother's from the film only in her tiny size.

"Oh my God!" Vaughn was holding his sides laughing with tears in his eyes looking at her, "She's _'The Man!"_

The laughing continued as they followed Lena driving down the sidewalk in her Humvee running other Trick-or-Treaters off the path as they went along and causing several smiles and hysterical bouts of laughter. The real security detail around her only added to the effect and Irina couldn't stop shaking her head in horror, and then bursting out every now and then in laughter looking at her Mini-Me. She couldn't believe her daughter was actually going Trick-or-Treating as 'The Man.' This required serious retribution for her niece and her husband.

"This is going to be hysterical." Jack chuckled with a smile watching Lena drive up the sidewalk to one particular house on their route. He too, was shaking his head in the same horror and disbelief that his little girl was 'The Man' for Halloween. She looked too damn cute not to smile and laugh though and he kissed Irina's cheek watching Lena honk the little horn as she was told while they all stayed back waiting on the sidewalk for the door to open.

Kendall and Judy both opened the door with a bucket of candy and came face to face with Lena in her Humvee.

"Twick-o-Tweat!" Lena squealed with a big smile.

"And who are you supposed to be?" Kendall asked already laughing and knowing exactly who she was supposed to be, her mother.

"I'm '_da Man!"_ She giggled excitedly and everyone lost it including Kendall and Judy.

"How did I know that?" Kendall kept laughing watching as Lena crawled out of her mini-Hummer and flew into his arms, giving him a big hug and kiss and then Judy.

"So you already knew!" Jack asked laughing as they all came up behind her, "Not too difficult to guess, I suppose."

"If the black Humvee wasn't enough, the black leather was a dead giveaway." Kendall continued to laugh looking down at Lena and smiling wider when he saw Mr. Yellow Bear safely strapped in the seat beside her. She never went anywhere without the toy he'd given her. "I honestly can't believe you dressed this sweet little girl as 'The Man." He shook his head with laughter.

"We didn't." Irina's eyes shot to Weiss and Sophia, "They did." She glared at them with a small smile on her face that screamed, 'I'm going to get you.'

"She's the nineteenth version of '_you_' we've had come to our door already tonight, but the only 'Man," Judy smiled picking up Lena and kissing her little face while looking at Irina. "Almost all, of the others were Empress Irina."

Irina's eyes went wide and her face drained of some color in shock.

"There are children Trick-or-Treating as me?" Her voice rose at the end conveying her disbelief.

"Yes," Judy laughed seeing the shock on Irina's face though she wasn't entirely surprised when the first child had shown up as such. The woman was the most fascinating and beautiful 'princess' on the planet right now. "You just missed one actually."

"You said almost all," Sydney smiled with a laugh at the idea her mother most likely had thousands if not millions of children around the United States tonight dressed up as her, "What were the other versions of my mother you've seen?"

"Well there was one little girl that was 'Action Irina," Judy snorted with laughter, "She was wearing dark green fatigue pants, a black long sleeve shirt, boots and had play gun holsters on her thighs, wearing a backpack on her back with dangling repelling rope for effect."

"Basically you when you jumped off the skyscraper in Mexico City evading us once more." Kendall slanted his eyebrow at Irina with a tight smile remembering that at the time, it was anything but funny and found it all too surreal to find a seven year old child dressed as such on his doorstep reminding him just how much things had changed.

"My God," Irina was actually a bit horrified, "Does this mean these parents are letting their small children see these films?"

"I asked her the same thing," Judy ever the psychiatrist had been worried about the same thing and what that would do to a small child's psyche seeing the things that had been done in those films. "She said no, her Mommy and Daddy wouldn't let her until she was 'much older' but said she had seen a picture of you dressed like that in a magazine and thought you looked, and I quote, 'kick ass." Her eyes widened with a tight smile still in shock from hearing such a tiny little girl say such a thing.

"Kick ass, huh?" Irina chewed on her lip pondering the same and shaking her head.

"Face it, Mom, you are kick ass." Sydney nudged her with a smile, "If I was little again I probably would have gone as the same thing this year, _Action Irina_." She laughed looking over at her sister already as 'The Man.'

"I'm not an Action Hero for goodness sake!" Irina shook her head and adjusted Nadia squirming in the Baby Bjorn carrier on her chest, kissing her little Cossack covered head.

"Yes, you are." Came an almost synchronized chorus of rebuttals making them all laugh and smile.

"Oh boy," Irina's eyes flashed to two little Trick-or-Treaters walking past them on the lawn and headed nervously towards Kendall with the bucket of candy through the sea of people.

"And who are you supposed to be?" Kendall asked with a smile though it was quite obvious who this little boy and girl were.

"Empress Irina!" The little girl smiled happily showing her pretty gown and twirling while fingering her Imperial blue sash. "And he's my Emperor Consort, Jack." She smiled over at the little boy next to her.

"Are you really now?" Kendall smiled with a smirk and mischief in his eyes, "Those are very good costumes. Don't you think so Your Majesty, Empress Irina?" He smiled right at Irina and the little kid's heads followed his gaze and went wide looking up at her for the first time, "Emperor Consort Jack?"

The little girl's sharp intake of breath made them laugh while Irina knelt down to look her in the eye. The child's parents were standing not far from the group in utter shock.

"You're a beautiful Empress," Irina smiled, "And are wearing a very pretty dress. What a handsome little Emperor Consort you have here as well." She smiled over to the little boy.

"You're the really real Empress and Emperor?" The little girl asked with wide eyes of wonder.

"Yes," Irina answered her softly.

"Wow…" The child's voice road the wave of awed emotion as she stare at Irina, "You're really, really pretty. The prettiest princess ever!"

Irina chuckled embarrassed while the rest of them laughed, "Why thank you. That is a wonderful compliment. What's your name?" She asked her softly, with her thumb grazing over Nadia's little fingers clutched tightly around one of her own.

"Taylor." The little girl answered with a smile, "And this is my cousin, Jordan."

"Well it was very nice to meet you both. Be safe and have a lot fun!" She kissed both their cheeks and waved to the parents, who dumbfounded, waved back.

"You just had to do that didn't you?" Irina smirked with her famous eyebrow at Kendall when the children ran off.

"Oh come on, Mom, you're her idol!" Sydney beamed with pride in her mother, loving the fact that she was hers.

* * *

_Los Angeles - November 15th, 2004_

"Seriously, Wild Thing… I think you may kill me here." Weiss lay on the breakfast bar of their house in Los Angeles while Sophia began breakfast. He was exhausted after another wild night filled with hot passion. The Derevko women's pregnancy drive was the most intense thing he ever experienced with her animalistic tendencies.

Sophia just laughed and continued to beat the pancake batter. She had taken up cooking since being pregnant along with the intense need to suck on ice. She couldn't explain it and thinking about what her cold tongue did to her husband her smile raged deviance when she leaned over and stuck it suggestively in his ear making his head fly up off the counter top screaming.

"Sophia! I hate that and you know it!" He jumped back rubbing his ear and she only laughed harder making him break into a grin.

The doorbell interrupted his thoughts of counter-attack and he drug himself to the front door slowly, his muscles aching and exhausted. When he opened the door his eyes were wide with shock to see a Fed-Ex man and an entire palate of V8 Juice behind him in shrink-wrap.

"Sign here." The man shoved a clipboard at him and Weiss automatically signed with eyes still fastened to the enormous about of juice.

The Fed-Ex man bent over and handed him a case of the juice bottles, slapping a white envelope on top that said, 'Eric' with a smile before leaving him standing there.

"Who was it, Baby?" Sophia called from behind the fridge door and jumped slightly when she shut the door and saw her husband standing behind it with his arms full of Juice.

"Fed-Ex man. There's an entire palate still outside." Weiss spoke slowly still in a bit of shock while Sophia took the envelope from the top of the juice and opened it.

"To help you 'keep up' with my niece. I've noticed she's been wearing you out. Love on Wild Ones, Love On! All my Love, Irina." Sophia read aloud and her eyes flashed up to her husbands when he immediately burst out laughing.

"She's good." Weiss continued to laugh and Sophia was still confused but realized this was another attack in the war between her husband and aunt. "I asked Jack in India how he kept up Irina. She heard me and said it was V8." He laughed explaining, "She was teasing me of course but damn! She's good." Weiss set the juice down on the counter, "That's two in a row for her." He smiled thinking about their 'Barry White Room of Love' on their wedding night.

"Actually," Sophia smiled pulling out one of the juice bottles. "I think this was a counter attack for you screaming slash singing out 'the gravity of love' on her shattering explosion in the kitchen." She laughed shaking her head at the aunt she loved so much.

Ben Devlin had told her at the wedding how much she and Eric reminded he and his wife of Jack and Irina when they were younger and first married and Irina herself had told Eric once, that he reminded her of Jack when they first met.

Over the past couple of years, that dynamic between her aunt and uncle was slowly returning and she was happy that she and her husband were helping to bring it out with this playful war.

"We were the ones two up on her with your shout out and then Halloween and 'The Man." She laughed softly, "She's most definitely coming at us again for that."

"So, what are we going to do in retaliation?" Weiss wrapped his arms around Sophia with as smile as his best co-conspirator kissed his lips.

"I don't know. But it's got to be big. I still can't get over the vibrating heart bed." She chuckled.

"Or the trunk of naughty toys." Weiss waggled his eyebrows. "Just picturing Jack buying those has me in hysteria." He laughed.

"Somehow I think he let Aunt Rina do that purchasing." Sophia giggled kissing his lips again, "That night was fun. As was the entire honeymoon." She smiled thinking about their week on Irina's private island in the South Pacific.

"What are we going to do with all this juice?" Weiss asked looking at the juice on the table and thinking about the palate outside.

"Drink up." Sophia handed him the bottle with a seductive wink, kissing him breathless with fists clenching his shirt before puling back suddenly, "I have plans for you later." She tugged on his lip with her teeth and turned back to her cooking.

* * *

"Thanks." Weiss set two cases of V8 on the counter with a sarcastic grin in front of Irina organizing a relish tray for Lena's second birthday party. "The way Sophia is right now, maybe I should take this back." He looked at the cases in front of him and thought about last night, this morning and the car ride over where they had to pull over and stop before he crashed, "I don't think even a full palate is enough to get me through this pregnancy."

Jack and Vaughn entered the kitchen behind him carrying in bags of food and beer for the barbeque with Marcelo following behind them with bags of ice.

"Don't worry." Irina laughed organizing the baby carrots into rows, "The strong drive should taper off in a couple of months."

All three men married to formerly pregnant Romanov-Derevko women behind her organizing the coolers were looking at him and shaking their heads 'no' in disagreement with wide-eyes thinking about that 'strong drive' that didn't stop until the very end.

All three quickly realized they were all shaking their heads 'no' together and Jack and Vaughn's eyes flashed to each other as did Weiss's and Marcelo's, each quickly looking away from the other with the realization that two of those 'wives' with the crazy drives were their daughters and all suddenly became entirely uncomfortable, avoiding gazes.

* * *

Lena was entirely adorable blowing out her birthday candles and then clapping for herself with glee. Wanting to do it again and again and again to which Jack and Irina happily relit the candle over and over, each time everyone clapping for Lena as she blew them out and clapped for herself so excited. They were all happy to celebrate the small things in life again with her, seeing the wonder of everything through her tiny eyes.

"Again!" She squealed with little arms thrown above her head making them all roar with laughter when Irina lit the mostly melted two candles for the eight time.

When the cake had been eaten after dinner it was time for the gifts and everyone was once again shuffling around, getting new drinks and finding seats surrounding Lena in a big circle watching her open her gifts in the grass on the back lawn. Irina was smiling as she watched Nadia rapidly descending the wooden steps on the back porch and then stand smiling up at her Mama. She'd been cruising around furniture holding onto its edges for the last week and progressively getting braver and braver.

Instead of reaching her little arms up like Irina expected her to do, wanting her Mama to carry her, she looked towards Lena and the group assembled. She took one step and stopped, stunned with herself for doing such a thing and not falling.

"Jack!" Irina called out loudly but smoothly as to not scare Nadia making her fall down but wanting her father to see this.

All heads whipped around to look at Nadia and held their breath when she took another step. The cameras were already out and rolling for the party and now all waited with baited breath once again to see another of her firsts.

"Come on, Baby Giwl!" Lena giggled excitedly calling to her sister seeing her take a few steps and knowing that everyone had been trying to get her to walk on her own for weeks.

Nadia giggled chewing on her fingers looking at her sister with big eyes and then took another step, and then another until she was practically running on her tiny legs across the grass. Plopping down on her bottom just before hitting the edge of the group smiling.

Everyone burst into cheer, clapping for her and Nadia smiled with a giggle and wiggle, clapping as well and Irina ran over and scooped her up, smothering her in kisses and making her giggle more.

"You did it!" Irina smiled with tears in her eyes, holding her baby girl close and looking at Jack, and then Lena, already celebrating her second birthday and both thinking time was going entirely too fast. Nadia was walking.

"So we have some news." Sophia smiled after the gifts were opened and Lena was happily playing with her new toys with everyone around. Some still assembling them, putting in batteries and cutting them out of boxes while others simply played.

"You're not having twins are you?" Sergei looked at her with wide eyes laughing and then to her stomach.

"No." Sophia smiled shaking her head and fingering her hair behind her ear. She nudged her husband with a smile to go ahead.

"But we are having a girl." Weiss smiled widely and everyone gasped and awed.

"Good Lord! Another Derevko woman!" Kendall shook his head laughing looking at the flock of them that seemed to instantly surround Sophia hugging and kissing her, even the little ones either crawling or walking. "Somebody better start having boys or poor Nicholas won't stand a chance with all those girls in the house. I had four older sisters. It was a nightmare." He shook his head with a smile.

"Is that what happened to you?" Vaughn quipped with a tight smirk and then laughed.

Kendall smirked back at him, "Says the man who lives not only with his wife but his mother, mother-in-law and sister-in-laws." He raised his eyebrows and everyone around them laughed.

"I have no complaints." Vaughn smiled thinking about their living situation in Russia.

So far, it was perfect. Just enough personal space in the enormous palace mixed with the love of a close family around. His baby girl was flourishing in such an environment not to mention his marriage with both he and his wife, blissfully happy.

"Mama!" Julian called out suddenly grabbing everyone's attention when Nicholas took one step forward away from where Julian was playing with him on the lawn. His little brother's eyes intently focused on their mother.

"Ma-ma!" Nicholas called out to her and Irina's breath caught in her throat having never heard him call out to her so clearly. It usually came out in a string of 'mamamamama ma's. She knelt down slowly with her teary eyes locked onto his eyes, her own reflected back at her and held her arms out to him.

Julian held him steady lightly when he saw his little brother waver a bit, unsure of his footing in the soft grass and then Nicholas called out again reaching towards his mother, "Ma-ma!" And took another step. Julian let go completely but kept his hands ready to catch him, afraid to let him fall too hard and potentially bruise himself.

Jack's eyes instantly began to water seeing his son suddenly begin charging forth on tiny legs just as his sister had headed straight towards his wife who was already crying.

Nadia stood up and immediately set off again walking up to her brother, touching him when they both stopped and then setting off again, literally doing circles around him until he reached Irina and then she leaped into her mother's arms as well. Irina engulfed them both in her arms, hugging and kissing them with happy tears and flopped backwards onto the lawn bringing them down on top of her while they both gave her sloppy kisses giggling and making her laugh.

'Every year, just gets better and better,' Jack smiled to himself watching them and feeling his heart overjoyed with love.

* * *

_Los Angeles - Thanksgiving 2004_

They just finished a fabulous meal and were all snuggling together to watch '_It's A Wonderful Life_' kicking off the Christmas season taking various positions around the living room in front of the television and crackling fireplace, not that they needed it in Southern California but it added to the ambience and set the Christmas mood.

Irina had just settled against Jack with Lena in her lap having just put her babies down for the night. Her smiling eyes caught Sydney on the end of the sofa adjacent to her and saw her staring into space with a dimply smile. She seemed to sense her mother's gaze and turned her head slowly to meet Irina's eyes amongst the voices and chaos while everyone settled in.

"What?" Irina asked seeing the twinkle in Sydney's eyes and everyone seemed to slow and the chatter died looking between the two.

"I'm pregnant." Sydney smiled sheepishly speaking softly.

"Again?" Weiss laughed immediately looking at the baby already asleep in her arms.

"Oh Sweetheart… How far along?" Irina gasped with tears already in her eyes smiling thinking about another grandbaby.

"I don't know." Sydney shrugged with her own teary smile. "I've been really nauseous lately and after vomiting this morning for the third morning in a row. I made Vaughn go buy a pregnancy test. It was positive."

"Wait to go, Busy Bee!" Weiss laughed smiling at Sydney and then Vaughn, "You do realized our kids are going to be the same age now? This is great!"

Irina couldn't hold back the tears finding out her daughter had found out she was pregnant today; on the same day years ago that she'd lost her son in Kashmir. Sydney saw the flash in her mother's eyes and thought about the tragic loss of her brother so many years ago and gave her a small knowing smile as the tears fell from her eyes, having the same thoughts in the same moment; a life taken and another given. Irina carefully moved to the floor with Sydney and held her tightly, with silent tears of happiness running from her eyes.

* * *

_St. Petersburg - December 15th, 2004 (Irina's 50th Birthday)_

**_*March of The Toys*_**

Normally they had celebrated Irina's birthday in Los Angeles but this year was the exception. She was turning 'Fifty' and the entirety of Imperial Russia wanted to celebrate with her. There were winter parades and parties everywhere but none more grand or elegant than that on her actual birthday at Peterhof.

The spectacular palace and grounds were covered in billions of tiny white lights that had taken Iliyah's crews a week of working straight through the day and night to cover every tree, bush, staircase and the palace. The guests had arrived by horse drawn sleighs in a brilliant enchanting sight that none of them had ever witnessed before.

"I don't care what you people say," Carrie twirled her glass of champagne in her hand staring across the dance floor to where Irina was mingling with her guests, looking spectacular in her Imperial regalia and enchanting everyone in the room. "That woman is _not_ fifty years old." The comment caused many to chuckle nodding in agreement that Irina's beauty continued to belie her real age. "I wish I was the damn Chosen One," She added and received several snapped gazes with wide eyes. "Well, without all that Rambaldi blather about having to stop the end of the world, etcetera." She motioned already slightly tipsy from the alcohol, "I'm talking about those fabulous genetics and self sustaining cell regeneration. Whatever is inside her needs to be bottled up and sold!" That comment brought the laughter back.

"Yes, I couldn't agree more." Judy smiled, "She is, as Jack once said to me, extraordinary."

"Judy, did you just break doctor patient confidentiality?" Dixon teased her with wide animated eyes.

"Why, I think I did." Her eyes went wide and they all giggled, "No wait! He told me that outside a session." 'Too' went unsaid as she smiled and sipped her bubbly drink.

Everyone settled into their seats in the enormous theatre as the ballet began. The entire Bolshoi had come to perform _The Nutcracker_ for Her Majesty, the Imperial Court and guests. They would also perform later in the week for the orphans but tonight's performance had a special surprise performer.

**_*Nutcracker*_**

The moment she took the stage with the others, she was unmistakable and had everyone laughing and smiling to see the tiny whirling dervish in action with her tiny tutu.

"I had no idea she even danced!" Kendall was laughing watching Lena tear up with stage running around and doing the occasional ballet move watching the others with a raging little smile, "She's pretty good for just turning two!"

"My mom's been teaching since she was about sixteen months old." Sydney smiled with pride watching her little sister bringing down the house, "Lena was always mimicking her movements watching Mom dancing, so Mom began to teach her. She's so cute!" She laughed watching Lena spinning out of control.

"She looks just like you, the one Snowflake blizzard." Jack shook his head looking at Sydney and then Lena with a smile. He had no idea Lena was going to be a part of this.

At the end of the ballet, Lena holding the hand of the Sugar Plum Fairy pirouetted her way onto the stage and everyone gave them a standing ovation with thunderous applause and smiles.

"They asked me just this evening if she could be a part of the performance," Irina laughed and smiled watching Lena showing Weiss her pirouette once more while she spoke to the group explaining the surprise performance. "They said they wanted to make it 'especially memorable' for me on my birthday occasion and knew I was teaching Lena." Irina smiled with a mother's pride, "She did so well." She laughed, "But I couldn't help but see you, Sweetheart, flying around as a snowflake watching her." She smiled holding Sydney's chin and kissing her.

"That's what Dad said." Sydney laughed.

"I know you asked that no one bring you gifts, and instead donate if they wish to the orphanage but we're your family and we're different." Sydney smiled with just the family, immediate and extended via friendship, but family, gathered at the end of the night to give their birthday wishes to Irina in private before going to bed. "And we always give you gifts."

From seemingly nowhere, everyone began producing gifts to Irina who sat with wide eyes on the couch with Jack.

"If you don't mind," Julian smiled passing a small box to her, "We'd like you to open ours first?" His smile turned sheepish and nervous when Irina cocked her head looking at him and then Ash with a radiant curious smile. "Happy Birthday, Mama." He kissed her on the cheek before settling back down with his wife.

Irina opened the lid of the box and pulled out a perfect little silver baby rattle, gasping as she picked it up.

"Does this mean-?" Her glassy eyes flashed up to theirs with held breath.

They both nodded with wide smiles and Irina flew off the couch hugging them both. "You're having a baby!"

"Oh my God!" Sydney flung her happy arms around Ash with fresh tears in her eyes, her pregnancy hormones in full effect and everyone watched with stunned but happy surprise when she did the same to Julian without even thinking. Julian's eyes were wide when she pulled back, a small smile gracing his lips that she was so happy for him. "Now all three of us will have kids the same age!"

"Good Lord!" Kendall shook his head laughing.

"Well you know that's how it happens. Everyone gets married around the same time, then they all start having babies at the same time." Ann smiled happily, "Then dating and graduations and marriage as the whole cycle starts all over again." She laughed.

* * *

_Christmas Eve 2004_

**_*My Favorite Things*_**

Everyone was gathered once again on Christmas Eve at Alexander Palace in what had become a new family tradition and after dinner they all sat down once more to open gifts.

"Mom and Bella you have to open these at the same time." Sydney smiled handing them both packages from under the tree as she and Lena handed out the gifts to everyone.

"So get together! Scoot scoot!" Vaughn laughed shooing them closer together on the couch so their mothers were sitting side by side.

"Okay, son," Bella laughed when her shoulder was pressed against Irina's, "We're together. Now can we please open them?"

"Yes! Go ahead!" Sydney laughed resuming her seat in Vaughn's lap with Anya in hers where they sat with folded legs on the floor.

Bella and Irina immediately began to tear the packages open and both pulled out tissue paper covered picture frames of a beautiful baby's sonogram.

"Ah!" They both gasped at the same time.

"The baby!" Bella awed with tears in her eyes looking at her new grandchild.

"Read the inscription at the bottom." Sydney smiled to both women with tears in her eyes again.

"Jaxx."

"Eva."

The read aloud at the same time and gasped again loudly as did everyone else when their eyes flashed to each other and then the other's framed photograph and inscription realizing for the first time it wasn't the same baby in different positions but different babies!

"Twins!" Irina all but squealed with her voice almost hoarse in disbelief with a smile, "You're having twins?"

"A boy and a girl?" Bella's eyes were glistening with happiness.

"Yes, Maman." Vaughn smiled loving the looks on everyone's faces.

"It really does apparently run in the family." Sydney smiled with a shrug.

"Yeah, so watch out!" Vaughn snickered elbowing Weiss sitting beside them with Sophia in front of the tree.

"Good Lord! Its' going to be a baby bonanza for sure!" Kendall shook his head laughing thinking about all the babies going to be buzzing around this place, "And then they'll all be teenagers at the same time! Ha! Hahahahaha!" He laughed dramatically and everyone joined him with that thought.

"What are their full names going to be or don't you know yet?" Carrie asked excitedly watching her son chewing on the bow on one of his gifts, "Jaxx and Eva, I like that." She smiled trying out their names.

"Well, Eva Emily Victoria." Sydney smiled wiping at her fallen tear thinking about the woman for a moment whom they were naming their daughter for. Emily Sloane had been a good woman, a good friend and a good surrogate mother to her when she needed it. "And Jaxx Mikhail Vaughn. We wanted to name our son after his grandfathers, his father and my little brother." She smiled at her father and mother though her face contorted softly trying to hold back her cry when she saw her mother's eyes flood with tears and cover her mouth in soft gasp. "I hope that's okay with you?" Sydney asked softly at her mother through blurry eyes, hoping she hadn't misjudged how her mother would feel about this, "His name? Jaxx. We wanted to name him after Dad and Jack, but not quite the same. We thought it perfect since it means-"

"God is gracious." Irina spoke softly already knowing and inhaling a sharp breath, trying to reign in her tears with a smile; it couldn't be more perfect. To name the baby boy Sydney found out she was pregnant with on the day her brother died, after him… and the meaning, was true perfection. A life lost and a life gained. God was indeed gracious in giving them this new baby boy… as well as a sister to go along with the package. She said a silent prayer of thanks to him, and her little guardian angel boy in Heaven for taking such good care of them. "It's perfect… of course I don't mind." She smiled wiping her tears.

"And Vaughn is okay with you?" Vaughn asked his father with the same hesitance. "It doesn't mean that I don't accept you as who you are," He rambled nervously, "It's just that Sydney calls me Vaughn… and it's a way to combine them both." He smiled nervously, "Jaxx Mikhail Vaughn Vontonavich."

"Its okay, son." Mikhail smiled, "I know it doesn't mean you don't accept my real identity." He laughed softly, "I like it very much actually; that you incorporated them both. I was always Mikhail Vontonavich… but I was also William Vaughn. That name is still a part of me. And it was under that name, that I was blessed with you."

Vaughn smiled in response with a nod of acceptance. "The best part it turns out, is," He turned to his wife with a smile and then their mothers, "They were our anniversary gift… and they're due on Mother's Day." He couldn't help but laugh thinking about finding out they were not only expecting twins and due on Mother's Day, but that they were actually conceived on their one-year anniversary.

"Oh my goodness!" Carrie squealed with a peel of laughter.

They continued on around the circle opening gifts and when it came to Kendall he just sat there with all the expectant eyes looking at him and waiting.

"Nope. I'm not opening mine." He shook his head, "I'm scared to. Seems every time someone opens a gift around here, its baby!" He said seriously with a smile and everyone went into hysteria as he held tightly to his gift still not opening it.

* * *

January brought the first birthdays of Nicholas and Nadia and everyone toasted to them, Katya and Irina and the harrowing night a year ago that brought them into the world.

Just like her sister Sydney, Nadia's hair had begun to turn blonde like their daddy.

Jack knew it probably wouldn't last, just as it hadn't with Sydney but he still loved the fact that her hair was turning blonde, as his had as a child, if only for a little while. He was absolutely in love with her big dark eyes, her mother's eyes, and her cute little blonde hair. She had Daddy wrapped around her finger and was extremely intelligent.

Her obsession with books was incredible as was her penchant for drawing and Irina loved that her nickname of Doodle Bug had taken on quite the literal meaning as her daughter was quite the artist. The only problem with that was, whenever Nadia was quiet for too long it usually meant one of two things. She was in the library tearing pages out of books or drawing with pens, markers or crayons on the walls and everything else.

She also had an obsession for climbing.

"Oh god," Irina gasped walking into Nadia's nursery intending to get her out of her crib after her nap only to find her daughter had escaped and was now precariously balanced on top of her tall dresser.

Sydney came through the door just after Irina and was about to scream in shock to see Nadia standing there when Irina clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Don't scream…" She said calmly with a pounding heart, "Or you'll scare her and she'll fall."

Her little acrobat hadn't yet seen her mother and sister and Irina slowly walked up behind her.

"Mama!" Nadia squealed with a happy smile and look on her face she knew she was not supposed to be climbing having been scolded many times but unable to help herself.

She'd been trying to reach her favorite bedtime book and the moment Irina grabbed her and started hugging her and kissing her to death, Nadia burst into giggles and then promptly pointed to the book she was trying to get.

They started her with Lena in gymnastics soon after that incident as a way to 'release' some of her need to climb and hang.

The shape of Nicholas's face made him look a lot like Jack but everything else in his face and appearance was Irina. His dark and eyes, and his facial expressions were almost identical, something he shared with his big sister, Lena.

He was quite the character and especially fond of calling Irina on the phone every morning, very early and still in his red Cowboy jammies whenever she was away from them on business. He'd always start his question to Jack the same way every time, confirming the facts he knew. The facts his Mama had told them the night before and it lit his face and Irina's on the other end of the line every time he said, "Mama pane," telling her he knew that Mama had left on the 'plane.'

His love of the water only increased with each passing day and Julian took him swimming often. It was something he loved to do and it made his parents happy that he'd taken to something that wasn't a contact physical past time where he could get seriously hurt, like his sister's climbing, if he fell. There was only one time thus far his love of the water had scared them silly.

Everyone was gathered around the pool one lazy Sunday morning for a bit of family swimming in the heated pool on a particularly blustery Russian winter day.

Irina had removed the blue dinosaur towel from around her son and had just finished with Nadia's when she looked up and froze seeing her son had climbed up the ladder to the tall diving board in a matter of seconds and was now standing in the middle of the board.

"Jack!" She whispered shouted grabbing his attention through her panic and grabbing everyone's attention to see him up there.

"Oh God," Jack gasped and immediately started to run walk towards him while everyone else refrained from screaming but all surged forward.

"Nicholas, don't move!" Irina called out when he continued to toddle out towards the end had them all gasping, "Sweetheart, stay there!" She tried to keep calm but her heart was about to explode out of her chest when he kept coming waving at them.

"Mama wa-wa!" He pointed to the water with excitement clapping and took another step forward.

"Jack, hurry up!" Irina shouted to him as all this was transpiring in the passing of seconds.

Her husband frantically scaled the ladder and reached the top, just as Nicholas jumped off the end, having seen his big brother, Julian doing it many times; and began to plummet towards the water while everyone screamed in horror to see him falling such a distance and then disappear under the water temporarily stopping his mother's heart.

Julian was already flying through the air and into the water the moment his brother had jumped and swam to him rapidly where the baby boy was already waving his arms around swimming to the surface having learned the basics long ago. Julian pulled him to the surface and it was he who was coughing and sputtering up water while Nicholas clapped with a shriek of giggles finding the entire thing quite fun.

They put a child's fence around the base of both diving boards that afternoon. Jack and Julian going into town through the freezing snow just to get the materials so determined to put the fence up immediately to prevent a further incident from occurring which they knew was bound to happen seeing the way Nicholas started running back towards the boards the moment Julian set him on the side.

* * *

_St. Petersburg - February 13th, 2005_

"Get in the car and don't ask any questions."

Irina looked at him like he had ten heads but did as Weiss instructed her with an odd smile; her eyes going wide in surprise to find Jack already waiting in the limo from where she'd been intercepted leaving her meeting.

"I have no idea what these clowns are up to." Jack shrugged looking over at Sophia and then Weiss when he got into the car with them. He smiled at Irina thinking how beautiful she was and how much he loved her, had missed her even though she'd only been gone a few hours. "Where are we going, clowns?" He shifted his smiling eyes to the two in front of them smiling like idiots and clearly up to something.

"That's none of your concern right now, Jack. Just go with the flow here, k?" Weiss smiled sliding up to the mini-bar, "Can I offer you something to drink? Champagne, beer, scotch, vodka?" He waggled his eyebrows at Irina with a smile knowing that was her drink of choice, "We won't be to our final destination for quite sometime so drink up."

"Vodka." Irina smiled at him with a slanted eyebrow.

"Oooh bringing out the big guns, Empress!" Weiss laughed, "And for, you?" He asked Jack looking at him with an amused grin.

"The same." Jack answered, "What do you mean we won't be to our final destination for quite some time?" He asked taking the glass of vodka.

"We're going to be in the air for quite sometime and we're your escorts until you reach your destination." Weiss sat back crossing his legs happily and laying his arm around Sophia.

"In the air? Why do we need escorts and where are we going?" Irina looked at him with a further perturbed eyebrow slant still tinged with a smile.

"Geez! You two are related!" Weiss laughed shaking his head and looking from Irina to his wife, "All your questions all the time."

"Yes, Aunt Rina. We're flying you to somewhere and that's all I'm going to say. You'll just have to wait and see. So, now… what else are we going to chat about because as my darling husband said," She slid further into his side, her hand resting over Weiss's chest, "It's going to be awhile."

They'd been in the air for hours, stopping to refuel once at some unknown location because all the windows had been shut so they couldn't see out and their watchdog escorts made sure there was no peeking going on. Once they were back in the air, the chatting resumed, as did card games, phone calls to the kids, with even Lena asking if Mama liked her 'suwpwise' though Irina couldn't get anything further out of her on what that was exactly before Katya took the phone from her and ended that fishing expedition.

They'd taken showers and gotten cleaned up, the luxury of having a full Imperial bedroom and closet filled with clothes onboard and then were told very suspiciously they should get some sleep. It was going to be a long night once they landed.

"What do think they're up to?" Irina asked lying draped over Jack's chest in their bed onboard.

"I have no idea but everyone seems to be in on it," Jack chuckled and ran his hand up her arm draped over him, playing with her fingers. "Maybe we should take them up on their suggestion and sleep. I know you have to be tired after a long day of meetings and late nights spent preparing for them."

"I am tired actually." Irina smiled softly listening to the beat of his heart beneath her ear, "Sleep does have an alluring appeal right now."

"So close your eye, My Love." He kissed the top of her head and Irina did just that. Within less then a minute, she was fast asleep and Jack smiled before closing his eyes and dozing off as well.

"Turn around," Sophia smiled twirling her finger indicating the movement when the plane landed hours later.

"What for?" Jack asked eyeing them suspiciously.

"Jack! Just do it!" Weiss barked at him exasperated with a smile and a laugh. "And close your eyes."

They did as told and felt the blindfolds being put over their eyes.

"What's this for?" Jack felt the satiny eye patch making his world black.

"That's an obvious question! So you can't see!" Sophia laughed, "We're not allowing you to see where you're going." Taking hold of Irina's arm guiding her while Weiss did the same with Jack, "Now march!" She laughed moving them forward carefully down the stairs where the instant blast of cold air and wind hit their arms sending a shiver through them all.

"Don't tell me you two have been having us fly around in big circles the past how many hours just to have us land in Siberia and leave us here?" Jack grumbled feeling the icy blast and worried that this payback was going to give him frostbite.

The only response he received was giggling from Sophia and deep laughter from Weiss, both of which made him nervous.

They moved them into the waiting limo and sat in front of them, turning on the stereo with a mixed CD to drown out the surrounding sounds and not give them any clues.

**_*I Will Remember You*_**

It was doing it's job and making them all chuckle when _Thriller_ came on and finished but the next song currently nominated for an Academy Award, also from the films was written by Irina the mood fell in contemplation of the past. The lyrics had mostly been taken from the book when she was describing her own feelings that heartbreaking morning she left for the second time and brought a somber mood to the car as they all listened and remembered.

Sophia's eyes had tears in them watching her Aunt and Uncle across from her and smiled, nudging her husband softly when she saw Irina reach her hand over in the car to blindly find her husbands, holding it tightly while the song obviously brought back emotional real life memories from this time frame only three short years ago.

Weiss smiled widely blinking back his own tears and kissing Sophia's head staring at the two blindfolded people thinking that this was going to be a great surprise.

They escorted them out of the car in a cool underground garage and led them to their destination just after midnight.

"Ok, now sit." Sophia ordered guiding her aunt where to while Weiss did the same with Jack. "Don't take those blindfolds off until we give you the signal or you'll ruin the whole surprise." She giggled kissing them and hugging them fiercely with tears in her eyes they couldn't see.

Her eyes scanned the area with her husband before he kissed her temple and led her away staring back and looking at the two still sitting blindfolded. As soon as they were in the doorway, Weiss held up a little black remote with a smile he pushed Play and quickly shut the door.

**_*Gravity of Love*_**

The song began to play loudly through the room and Irina inhaled a sharp breath, ripping down her blindfold to see Jack had done the same.

They were now sitting next to each other at the small table in the same room, in the same hotel in Panama.

An elegant white card was propped up on the table that read, "_Happy Anniversary. With All our Love, Katya, Marcelo, Eric, Sophia and Lena_."

The addition of Lena's name made them laugh, as did the cake beside it with Lena's gorgeous picture on the top as the icing.

"_Happy Conception Lena,_" Was written across the bottom in red gel with three little candles burning, marking the passage of time since that fateful night.

Irina felt a chill race up her spine as she looked around the room with tears blurring her eyes almost expecting to see their ghosts and trembled with a soft gasp when she felt Jack's hand slowly close over hers. She turned her head to meet his gaze and slowly a smiled spread across her lips while the first fat tear fell.

Jack's hand brushed it away as his eyes went to her lips and Irina's to his, she leaned in slightly and Jack finished the distance his mouth closing over hers softly as his own tears began to fall and he stood pulling her up with him; his arm swooping behind her legs and carrying her over to the bed where he lay her down just as gently.

This time when he pulled back to look down at her, the tears falling from her eyes accompanied a smile before she whispered, "Jack," and pulled him back to her with no questions of fear and regret only a fierce love that was never extinguished and only grew brighter.

* * *

"Mission 'Gravity of Love' has been completed." Weiss smiled on the phone talking to Katya as his teary-eyed wife curled back into his side in the limo, "We're on our way home." He flipped his phone shut after hearing Katya's laughter and goodbye and smiled as the car headed off towards the plane that would take them to Los Angeles where they would spend the next three days, waiting for Jack and Irina and then flying back to get them before returning to Russia.

The planning had paid off, right down to the giant fans and cold air blasts they had at the airport to derail any of Jack and Irina's investigative tendencies to try to guess where they were by the climate they felt.

* * *

**_*Kissing You (Instrumental)*_**

Jack opened his eyes slowly after an exhausting night and smiled coming face to face with Irina, his hand still resting over her hip, their legs entwined. The light shining through the window told him it was late afternoon already… and she was still there.

The teary smile that lit his face as he kissed her on the lips spread when her eyes began to flutter open. She smiled lazily at him when he whispered, "Good Morning, Beautiful," and closed her eyes again, snuggling her face in closer to his and falling back to sleep almost instantly. She had nowhere to be, other then right here with him.

* * *

_**AN: The short little time jumps will continue for just a bit longer as we move forward into the future and then 'stay there' for quite some time. All moments necessary in the journey! More tomorrow!**_


	40. Chapter 40

_**AN: A big chapter. Enjoy the calm before the storm and I leave you something to ponder in regards to time: the past, present and future of this story and how it will all tie together...**_

_**"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." - C.S. Lewis.**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Chariots of Fire **_**by Vangelis**_**, Put Your Head On My Shoulder **_**by Paul Anka, **_** Myth, Power and Beauty **_**by Nick Glennie-Smith,**_** Never Grow Old **_**by The Cranberries,**_** Fumbling Towards Ecstasy (Junior Boys Mix) **_**by Sarah McLachlan & Junior Boys**_**, Time **_**by Hans Zimmer ****from Inception Soundtrack**_**.**_

* * *

FORTY

o

They swept the Oscars once again with them bringing home _Best Picture_ for the fourth and final film as well as several others that joined the Oscars, the MTV Moon Men, the Grammy's and the American Music Awards from the previous year on shelves in the palace theatre next to the four film posters. The little red wagon that Billy Crystal had brought onstage half way through the show and presented to them to carry home all their Oscars in, was now in the playroom where Lena was all too happy to pull her younger siblings, niece and Mitchell around.

On the First of April, right on time, Katya became a Babushka with the birth of her first grandchild, Mia Sophia Ekaterina. Mia had stolen her father's heart the moment he laid eyes on her and wept with happiness, falling that much more in love with Sophia for the perfect little girl she had given them.

"Something this cute can't possibly come from you." Vaughn teased Weiss holding Mia for the first time in the hospital, "It's a good thing she looks like her mother."

"Are you crazy?" Sophia laughed, "She looks _just_ like him!"

"_Shh!_" Vaughn smiled with a teasing tone as he passed the baby back to her father, "You're not supposed to tell him that."

"My turn." Irina smiled eagerly with motioning hands wanting to hold the gorgeous new tiny Romanov woman, "Hand my Godchild over to me."

"Okay, okay, Godmother," Weiss snickered absolutely giddy every time he called her that and passed his daughter to the only woman who could be her Godmother, Irina.

* * *

Anya celebrated her first birthday on her Mommy's thirtieth. She was truly a stunning baby, the perfect mixture of Sydney, Irina, and Bella and only grew more beautiful everyday.

A month later, they welcomed Jaxx and Eva on Mother's Day, which also happened to be the Second Anniversary of Irina's Coronation and Imperial Russia.

Sydney had gone into labor in the middle of the special church service and 'leaking' onto the marble floor as they all quickly stood, rapidly apologized and hurried out the door amongst throngs of laughter, cheers, and applause from everyone else in the church.

"He's got blonde hair!" Bella squealed quietly when she first laid eyes upon her grandson and held him in her arms while they passed Eva to Irina.

"I know. It's so cute, isn't it?" Sydney smiled absolutely in love with her new babies. "I was like, _'where'd that come from'_ when I first saw him and then Vaughn mentioned you had blonde hair when you were born, too." She smiled happily at her mother-in-law, seeing the joy on Bella's face at finding her own traits in her new grandbabies passed on.

* * *

June brought them to Stockholm for Sergei's wedding to Madeliene as well as Irina's return in the marathon for fun, where she once again sped past the competition and cut thirteen seconds off her original time, breaking her own record.

"Not too bad this time, Little Brother," Sydney smirked at Julian throwing a towel and her arm around his shoulders when he finished the marathon; way behind their mother but still within the first wave after her. "Running with her every morning has increased your stamina."

"Why Sydney, I never thought I'd hear you talk about my stamina." He smirked with a heaving chest taking a sip from the water cup she handed him and knowing how to goad her with the tease.

"Oh, you're a sick little twit!" Sydney gasped and hit his arm up purposely throwing the water in his own face. "You're my brother and that's just… eww and off limits!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," He shook his head trying to be serious as he wiped the water from his face, the corners of his mouth turning up, "Here, I was talking about my running stamina and the next thing I know you're throwing water in my face."

"You are so annoying!" Sydney shot back and then laughed with him and everyone else.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Alexander Palace_

Irina stepped outside the palace and inhaled the gorgeous scent of flowers in the light breeze. She loved this time of year in Russia and the conditions were perfect for running.

Today she'd be running the length of the perimeter fence as she did once a week to keep an eye on things knowing how vast the property was. Lena was playing happily in her playhouse just outside the kitchen's French Doors with Dmitri keeping a watchful eye on her and everyone else was scattered doing various things.

Irina smiled watching Lena dumping water from her flower watering can into a pie bowl filled with dirt she'd found in the garden essentially making a mud pie.

"I'll see you in a little while, Snuggle Bug," Irina blew her a kiss and waved at her daughter who was waving back at her through the tiny playhouse window and headed for the trees towards the fence.

Not too long after she heard Lena's tiny voice yelling, "Mama, I come too!"

Irina turned around to see her daughter running at full speed towards her on fast little legs.

"I _wun_ with you, Mama!" Lena giggled and Irina smiled with a laugh watching as Lena flew past her and kept going and Irina started running after her.

The two were running side-by-side, Irina more of a fast jog than a run but she couldn't stop laughing at how cute Lena was running at full speed and giggling having so much fun being able to run with her Mama. She'd tried to run with Irina several times before and was always brought back to the palace for safe keeping after running with her Mama for just a little bit but today, Irina decided to let her run with her until she got tired. She was tired of fighting the inevitable her daughter was a runner, just like her Mama. That was evident even in the womb when her legs never stopped moving.

"I've got her, Dmitri," Irina pressed the button on her watch that served as a walkie-talkie.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." Dmitri answered her through the watch and Irina heard his laughter.

"I _wun_ fast, Mama!" Lena giggled with little arms and legs flying at a furious pace.

"I know! Look at you! Such a big girl!" Irina smiled astounded at Lena's speed.

"Wait up!"

Irina heard Julian's voice call through the trees and soon her son appeared with a raging smile to see Lena was running, too.

"I _wunning,_ Ju-Ju! I _wunning_!" Lena smiled and giggled again seemingly increasing her speed now that she was running with her brother, too.

"I see that, Lena!" Julian laughed looking over at Irina with a smile. "She's rather fast." He looked down at her tiny form still maintaining her speed.

"I know! I can't believe she's been running this long!" Irina smiled shaking her head and turned it to the side when she saw Sydney, Vaughn, and Weiss cutting through the trees.

"Hey, can we run with you?" Sydney smiled catching up with them and falling in line behind them.

"Sure." Irina laughed having no idea today was the day that everyone decided to run with her. Usually she ran alone or with Julian these days or Weiss, or Sydney or Vaughn or them both or any combination of them but rarely all together given their schedules.

"Nee-Nee, I _wunning weally_ fast!" Lena called back to her sister and they all laughed at her cuteness and slight lisp in her pronunciations.

"I see you, Buddy! You're so fast! Are you having fun?" Sydney called up to her amazed at her sister's speed and endurance and then not, when she looked to their mother beside her and knew Lena had inherited more of the 'unique' genetic properties of their mother than even herself. The 'large' little heart beating inside her tiny chest kept her going just as it did in their mother, allowing them both to run at an incredible pace and for a long time.

**_*Chariots of Fire*_**

Weiss started humming the theme to _Chariots of Fire_ loudly as they ran and they all broke out into laughter.

"This is hilarious! Someone should be taking pictures!" He laughed looking at Lena running and the 'pack' that had followed Irina.

"I was just thinking that." Irina smiled as they ran on, "Dmitri?" She spoke into her watch again.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" His calm voice answered her back.

"Can you please meet us in five minutes by Gate Four and have a camera ready to take our picture with Lena, please?" She asked looking down at her daughter and knowing the tiny girl had already run more than a mile with her.

"She's still running?" His startled voice answered back.

"Yes, she is and doesn't look to be slowing down anytime soon but I don't want her to run too far. I'm going to have you intercept her just after the gate and take her back to the palace with you." She smiled watching Lena running and giving her a slight lead so they could keep an eye on her.

"Of course, Your Majesty." He answered with a smile in his voice and laughed.

Dmitri was waiting at the gate with a camera and snapped pictures of them with a smile as they flew by him in a mirage of colors from running clothes against the green trees and grass. Irina in black, Sydney in red, Julian in dark blue, Vaughn in yellow, Weiss in grey and Lena in white with brown mud stains on her t-shirt from making mud pies and messes earlier.

Dmitri had a good chuckle with the guards posted at the gated entrance, "She's just like her mother." He spoke softly to them, shaking his head when he watched them go by.

"Okay, Snuggle Bug," Irina called out to her with a smile, "You're going to go back to the palace with Papa Dmitri now."

"No!" Lena sped up to a full sprint calling out and tearing further ahead of them, "I want to _wun wid_ you, Mama!"

"I know, Snuggle Bug and Mama loves you running with me, too but you need to go with Papa Dmitri so you don't get sick, okay? It's too far for you to run all the way with Mama. You can come with me again, okay?" Irina ran beside her and then dodged a step to swoop her up.

"No!" Lena started to cry in Irina's arm, "I want to _wun wid_ you!"

"I know, Sweet Girl, but it's too far all the way around." Irina kissed her repeatedly brushing away the falling tears and sad with and for her. "You can run again with Mama tomorrow, I promise. Keep running I'll catch up." She added to the others speeding by them with Lena.

"_Pwomise?_" Lena asked rubbing her teary eyes while holding onto her mother's neck as Irina turned and started running with her back towards Dmitri.

"I promise and Mama always keeps her promise. Right?" She kissed Lena's fallen tears and smiled when Lena nodded, "Now you go with Papa Dmitri and finish your mud pies and when Mama gets back we'll make lemonade and I'll play with you in the garden, okay?"

"Okay." Lena nodded sniffling and hugging Irina tightly.

"I love you," Irina kissed her and hugged her back.

"I wuv you, too." Lena's little voice answered against her neck, kissing Irina on the lips before letting Dmitri take her.

"I'll see you later." Irina blew her another kiss and started jogging away, waving before breaking into a run seeing the colors of the rest of them in and out of the trees ahead. She smiled when she came up stealthily behind them and then flew past with an evil giggle.

When she was a couple hundred feet ahead, she busted out laughing hearing Weiss yelling, "_Run Forest, Run!_" Implying she was Forest Gump and they were her following as it was in the film.

* * *

July brought about Jack's birthday and the birth of his third granddaughter, Ria Alix Nicholavena named completely after her grandmother, Irina, with all three names. Ria sounded almost exactly like Irina's nickname, _Rina_ and meant '_beloved_,' which they both were, by Julian and Ash.

Her name was a surprise to her grandmother, Irina, and everyone else, and not announced at all until after her birth. It was Julian and Ash's way of honoring Irina and everything she meant to them, was responsible for in first introducing them when they were only six and then bringing them back together years later.

Irina had given them her farm in India as a wedding gift. Wanting them to have it, as that was where they met, where they played, and where they fell in love and later married.

"You did good." Jack smiled at Julian when the two were sitting alone together, looking at the baby sleeping in Jack's arms.

"I'm still scared out of my mind, in fact, more so now that she's actually here." Julian smiled with his tight-lipped grin having talked about his fears of fatherhood and failing especially in light of his own biological father's neglect with his new father before his daughter was born.

"You'll never stop being scared. That's part of fatherhood." Jack laughed hitting Julian on the back lightly with one hand and then squeezing his shoulder with pride. "She's absolutely gorgeous son, Congratulations."

Ria was an incredibly beautiful baby with her mother's gorgeous blue green eyes and dark wavy hair. Her sweet little face was identical to her father's.

As the weeks and months went on, it became pretty clear to everyone, she was Papa's Girl. Only _Papa Jack_, it seemed, could get her to sleep when she battled with Colic, exhausting her poor parents, and Jack and Ria would spend countless hours of the night dancing to the classics as a way to soothe her cries.

* * *

**_*Put Your Head on My Shoulder*_**

_Pasadena, California - September 2005_

Irina leaned against the doorframe from the kitchen watching Jack with the almost sleeping baby against his chest with her tiny head on his shoulder, twirling around in their living room as her eyes slowly fluttered close.

Irina and Jack had relieved her parents an hour ago when rocking Ria in the car seat on the dryer failed as well as driving around the block. Irina had sent them off to bed upstairs with hugs and kisses and handed Jack the crying baby with the upset tummy while she headed straight to the kitchen to get her magic weapon; a hot water bottle.

She had wrapped it in a light towel and placed it strategically between Jack and Ria against the baby's belly to help relieve the pain. Once that was complete, Jack took over the rest, humming and dancing with her until she slowly calmed down with the pain subsiding and went to sleep while Irina went to make she and Jack tea.

Seeing Ria's eyes close she gave her husband a smile and thumbs up sign that their granddaughter was asleep and set her mug of tea down when Jack waved her to him, still humming and dancing.

Without saying a word, his eyes asked her to dance with them and Irina curled into his side when he wrapped his one free arm around her shoulders. Irina laid her head on his free shoulder staring at the beautiful sleeping baby on the other and placed her hand with Jack's over her tiny back.

Irina started to hum along with him and smiled as the three danced around in the darkness of the living room to the music; unaware of the eyes watching them from the staircase.

Sydney was sitting on the step with Lena as both were awake, she was sleeping with her own two babies at the house while Vaughn was in France with his parents and Anya. She'd been having a 'sleepover' with Lena, both sleeping in her bed when they heard the soft wafting sounds of music and Lena awoke first. She lay there silently beside Sydney for quite some time, entertaining herself with Mr. Yellow Bear but soon Sydney was feeling her sister's tiny finger against her eyelashes and woke with a smile.

The two laid in bed for at least one song and the last whimpering cries of their niece before sneaking down the hallway to watch. Hoping her parents were doing what she thought they were doing, one of her favorite memories Sydney still had from her childhood, her parents dancing in the middle of the night and wanted her sister to see and have this memory as well.

Lena was now curled in her sister's lap holding the yellow bear and watching their parents dancing in the dark from behind the banister, both girls wearing a smile and Sydney with finger to her smiling lips that they had to be quiet when she saw Lena start to giggle softly.

"_Shhh_…" She whispered ever so quietly and then felt two people move in behind her. Julian and Ash smiled down at her with Ash leaning back against her husband watching the three figures dancing below.

The four of them remained there on the stairs, smiling and watching with tired eyes for another two songs before Jack turned the stereo off and carefully passed the baby to Irina, grabbing a blanket for her from her Moses basket and then another from the back of the sofa. He kissed Irina gently on the lips with a smile helping her to cover the baby sleeping against her chest and then held the door for her while they disappeared onto the front porch in the middle of the night.

Through the window, the spying foursome saw the three outside settle into the porch swing, with Irina leaning back against Jack while she held her granddaughter and Jack covered them all with the blanket. They never said anything to each other, just started swinging softy with Jack's cheek pressed against Irina's head that was leaning back against his shoulder and staring out into the night.

"Their love is so beautiful." Ash smiled whispering in the dark in awe of Jack and Irina's relationship on a continuous basis while they looked at them through the window.

"Yes," Julian smiled softly with an agreeing nod as he slowly stood helping his wife and sisters up. "I love to see her so happy." He smiled wider, "I will forever be in awe of the love they share." He kissed his wife's head and wrapped his arms around her, "Let's go to bed. Our baby is in good hands." He chuckled softly as the four of them walked back down the hallway.

"I think we should just start the night from now on, by giving your Mum and Dad our baby when she first begins to cry. Since your father is the only one it seems who can get her to stop crying and sleep." Ash laughed softly, "It would save her hours of crying and give us all a few more hours of sleep."

"Well, according to Alexei and Marcelo," Julian smiled hopefully with weariness in his eyes, "She should just about be grown out of this horrid phase."

"Poor baby." Sydney smiled through a forced frown, thinking about her beautiful niece, "Goodnight." She kissed them both on the cheek and returned to her room with Lena.

* * *

2006 had been an incredible year for them even if stressful at times.

Dixon married Hayden Chase and was truly happy again. Lena started preschool in the mornings now that she was three, with her sharp little mind eager for knowledge, always asking questions and remembering what she was told. Her fluency in languages was astounding even if she couldn't quite pronounce everything correctly, she still understood what she was saying and most of the time you could still understand her. She could easily flip back and forth between Russian, English, French and Italian and had even picked up a great majority of Swedish spending so much time with Madeleine and Sergei and the rest of the Swedish family and she was learning Spanish from her mother and in school knowing that as Tsar one day, she'd need to learn the second most spoken language in the world.

Irina had begun to take Lena with her on the majority of international trips as well as those to Eastern Russia to expose her to as many languages and cultures as she could, getting Lena familiar and comfortable with it all and her daughter was eating it up, loving every minute with her Mama and eager to learn.

Irina made sure she played with her multiple times a day, giving her daughter her full attention on every trip as well as scheduling play dates with the children in the area to keep her occupied and playing like the child she was, while her mother was in meetings. Every night they were away, they slept together and just as they did every night at home, they looked at the moon and stars. Lena began to make a game of how different the moon looked when they'd go to different '_countwies_."

* * *

"Look, Uncle Ewic!" Lena bounced back from the table where she was sitting in the chair on her knees playing _Sesame Street Chutes and Ladders_ with Eric, Sydney and Vaughn. "We awe in the same box _tocheddar!_" She giggled excitedly pointing with her tiny finger to the box where Weiss's Big Bird game pawn had just slid down the chute and ended up with Lena's Cookie Monster.

"Tocheddar?" Weiss snickered with a smile loving her little voice and pronunciations, knowing exactly what Lena was trying to say in, 'together.'

"Yes, tocheddar!" She pointed again with a smile, "See! We awe in the same box tocheddar! Uncle Ewic and Lena. Tocheddar."

She shuffled her Cookie Monster on the board to make sure they were exactly even in the box, side by side, in her organizing and lining up everything phase.

"Oh, together! Yes, we're in the same box _together_," He smiled to Sydney and Vaughn with a laugh.

"It's your turn, Little Buddy," Sydney smiled at her sister, loving the chance she got to play with her while her own little ones were down and Chutes and Ladders had become quite a favorite since Christmas.

"My tuwn? Oh boy oh boy oh boy," Lena asked with a shimmy and a giggle mimicking Cookie Monster, clasping her little hands in front of her body while Sydney passed her the spinner and then all shook with held in laughter. Her little hand swiped the spinner and landed on a number.

"Five." She knew exactly what that number was and began to count out her spaces with Sydney to move. "One, two, twee-"

"_Twee?_" Weiss whispered softly laughing and cracking up every time he played with her.

"Fouwr-" Lena paused in her counting and held her Cookie Monster pawn over the space he was supposed to go and looked up at her sister when she saw that it was a chute and would send her down to the bottom again. Her little eyebrow slanted in thought looking just like her mother she asked, "How about we go awound that box?" Her little mind was always thinking and set her piece down on the fourth box and then physically moved Cookie Monster around the fifth box and chute to the sixth and giggled. "Five!"

The adults at the table cracked up hysterically and Sydney started shaking her head _no_, though she thought it entirely too cute as well.

"No, Little Buddy," Sydney tried to control her giggles, "That's cheating. Part of the game is to go down the chutes. Remember Uncle Eric just did and you guys were in the same box together and it was fun, too, wasn't it?" She waited for Lena to nod before going on, "And what does Mama say about cheating?" She asked knowing her sister knew, and also knowing they were trying to teach her to play fairly and not be spoiled, letting her do whatever she wanted.

Her mother had done the same for her when she was little, not letting her win all the time so that she understood how to be a good loser, too.

"Mama says, winning is mowe fun when you don't cheat." Lena recited verbatim, "And we have to plway by the ruwles so evewyone has fun." She smiled and then rested her little chin on her hands on the table looking impossibly cute.

"So what should you do? Should you move Cookie back to the box he was supposed to go in? And not skip the chute?" Sydney asked hating the sad little look in her eyes but knowing she was doing her sister no favors by letting her cheat even if she was only three. Better to teach her now than later. They weren't just teaching her to follow the rules, but to be just and fair. It was a lot of responsibility teaching the _future_ Tsar of Russia.

Lena nodded against her little hands, "Ok, Nee-Nee." She smiled and moved Cookie back.

The nicknames for both Sydney and Julian had stuck, even though she could fairly well pronounce both of their names. She liked the other names better and they did, too.

When she was finished she took a drink of her apple juice and smiled with an exaggerated, _Mmmm_, sound. "That was _dewiscious!_" Sending them all into another round of laughter and each repeating her hilarious pronunciations.

* * *

**_*Myth, Power, and Beauty*_**

Russia's economy was booming with oil and industry bringing tons of money into the country and creating more jobs than ever before. The average income for individuals and families had increased more than fifty percent and slowly but steadily began to bring more and more people out from under poverty. Irina was careful though, in how she handled it, letting it go to some extent but keeping a close eye on it as well as pulling back on the reigns when need be to not let it grow too quickly and out of control.

With the rise in the value of the ruble more and more foreign markets were investing in the country with the promising future though she maintained a tight control on that as well, making certain that her people's needs were met and getting better before that of other nations. She wanted Russia on her feet and standing tall and strong on her own again. One of the ways to do that was to get out from under the dark shadow of the past, not to forget, never to forget, but to move on.

In the first bold move and drastic step forward, Irina had Lenin removed from his tomb where he had been on display for far too long and cremated. His ashes, she herself, spread over the ground where the house once stood that held her family captive before he had them murdered in it's basement. Now his ashes lay in the dust where he had spilt their blood. Over it, she was building a new hospital, something she thought appropriate as well as symbolic in healing the old wounds of the land.

Old Soviet Era apartment buildings that had been an eye sore were replaced with new modern ones that still held the classic and beloved Russian architecture pre-Revolution on the outside; the spaces offering a better quality of life at the same price. And instead of allowing more cars to be bought in her country, causing more congestion and pollution with the economic boom, Irina added new rail lines and trains to the Subways instead of expanding on the roads.

New housing tracts were established in the suburbs that were on a steady growth rate and because the economic conditions and health care were getting better every year, the rate of children becoming orphans was slowly dropping as well, as it had been in the years before when Irina had been running things behind the scenes, but now, with full control and out in the open, the progress came in leaps and bounds.

Because of the country's growing success and stability under Irina's rule, the satellite countries that were once part of the mighty nation slowly began to rally to unify again, like Chechnya, with Imperial Russia and in the span of only three months, the remaining countries were happily and willingly brought under Irina's rule, once again uniting all of Mother Russia and making every Russian proud to once again be the largest nation in the world.

It was no surprise at the end of the year when Irina was awarded the _Nobel Peace Prize_ for her efforts in bringing peace to a once volatile land and once again named, _TIME_ magazine's _Person of the Year_ for uniting her 'beloved Russia.'

And through it all, there was nothing she loved more than to come home to her family.

* * *

"Can I snuggle with you?" Lena asked with her little head suddenly peaking over the end of the bed, having so stealthily snuck up on her parents who were just getting ready for bed they hadn't heard her come into their room.

"Well, of course you can snuggle with us," Irina patted the bed and leaned forward to help Lena climb up pulling Mr. Yellow Bear along too. "You're my Snuggle Bug, after all." She smiled kissing Lena's little head and helping her under the covers between she and Jack. "Did you have another bad dream?" She asked propped up on her side with head held on bent hand and elbow looking down at Lena's sweet little face and brushing the hair behind her ear with her fingers.

For the last few weeks, Lena had been either crying out or showing up in their room in the middle of the night after having nightmares. Sometimes they could get her to tell them about the dreams, and other times not. When she described the first one to Irina it broke her heart and tears filled her eyes to hear Lena recalling her mother covered in 'lots of red blood and crying' and absolutely devastated Irina, to the point of sobbing on the floor with Jack holding her in his arms and crying too, after they got Lena back to sleep and went to their own room. They'd realized that night, that the '_scary monsters with pointy teeth that hurt her'_ in Lena's dreams were in fact, the rats from the factory during Cuvee's torture. That night, Irina had her own nightmares of what had happened then for the first time in a long time. Every dream would have Lena trembling uncontrollably. The morning when Lena saw her first 'rat' run through the horse stables, she went ballistic on Irina and Sydney screaming hysterically and scaring all the horses and shaking violently in Irina's arms about the _'scary monster with the pointy teeth going to bite her.' _

It was a soul-crushing blow to realize her daughter remembered her torture at Cuvee's hands and the actual rats biting her when she was only four months old. After coming to that realization, they both understood Lena's reactions to the traumas in her life, her clinging to Irina so much, that much more. Her poor little mind was haunted with those images before she could even voice them and to this day, Lena still didn't understand why she had them.

Judy had been phenomenal in helping Lena to deal with the dreams and work through them so she wouldn't be haunted or scared by those feelings and flashes for life.

**_*Never Grow Old*_**

Lena nodded her head in answering her mother's question and then buried her face into Mr. Yellow Bear turning into Irina hiding.

Jack leaned over and kissed the back of Lena's little head with sad eyes and a soft smile looking up at his wife. The fact that Lena wasn't sitting in her bed screaming hysterically and afraid to walk on the floor, instead, having come walking quietly into their room, had shown the progress they were continually making.

"Mama and Daddy won't let them hurt you," Irina dipped her head whispering in her little ear and kissing it with a promise. "We love you, Snuggle Bug." She kissed her again and felt Lena's tiny hand moving up to play with her locket.

"Can I see the pic-chewer of me and Nee-Nee?" Lena rolled back slightly peaking her head out and moving on from the nightmare just that quickly with Irina's assurances she was safe and loved. She loved to look at the picture in Irina's _Mother's Locket_ that had new birthstones added on to it for her remaining three children: Julian, Nicholas, and Nadia, and for her grandchildren: Anya, Jaxx, Eva, and Ria, and for her two Godchildren: Mitchell and Mia.

It was now a gorgeous multitude of shiny colors that was all the more eye catching and attractive to Lena who'd always loved it. Still, the only picture to resided inside was the original black and white photograph of Sydney with a teeny-tiny baby Lena as it had been a gift from them.

Irina snapped open the tiny locket for her and smiled as she always did seeing Lena's little face light up.

"I'm so little!" She giggled looking at herself, "And Nee-Nee's so big! But we're both Mama's babies!" She smiled with another giggle having been told that many times.

"Yes," Irina laughed playing with Lena's hair and thinking about the time not that long ago when she'd lay on her side like this with her teeny tiny baby Lena nursing and how time had passed so quickly from then to now. Her eyes flashing up to Jack's saw that he'd been thinking of the same thing.

"What did you learn at school today, Peanut?" Jack asked with a smile always loving her 'report.'

"I painted a clown." Lena closed the locket and rolled over, spooning back against her mother to look at her father but still be close to 'Mama.'

"You painted a clown?" Jack nodded with a smile, "That sounds fun."

"We were pwac-pwa prac-ticing," She stumbled on her word still struggling from time to time with the letter 'r' when speaking in English but determined to say it right now, "How to draw in pwo-pwo-pwo- Daddy, I can't say it!" She got upset suddenly at herself.

"Just say it the best you can, Peanut and I will help you," Jack smiled loving her determination; Sydney had been the same way.

"Pwopwotions." Lena spoke in a small voice knowing that was not how to say it properly and Irina kissed her head with a smile in support.

"Proportions." Jack smiled shaking his head, "That is a hard word."

"One, I too, struggled with in learning English." Irina nodded with a smile and a soft laugh with Jack remembering her own trials in trying to pronounce it correctly without an accent.

Jack loved these constant little insights and surprises from his wife. Each day he learned something new about her and even the tiniest detail, like struggling with learning how to pronounce a word in English, brought a smile to his face.

"See, Peanut. It was hard even for Mama and she's the most intelligent person I know." Jack smiled tapping his finger on the end of Lena's nose trying to make her feel better and then on Irina's for being just as cute.

"Thanks Daddy." Irina smiled kissing his lips softly as Lena began to try again.

"Pwo-pro. Pro."

"Good, Peanut!" Jack smiled down at her when Irina leaned back. "Now por…"

"Por-" Lena repeated just like he did, easier when broken down and she knew that word from her other languages. She just couldn't always say it.

"Good!" Jack encouraged her with a smile.

"Pro… por…tions." She sounded each syllable out and then faster, "Pro-pow-tions!" Her little face fell again, "Oh no!"

"It's okay, Peanut," Jack laughed softy and leaned forward kissing her forehead, "That was really good. You'll get it. Don't worry. Now tell me about this clown. You said you were practicing proportions. What color was his hat?"

"He didn't have a hat, Daddy. He had a kazoo!" Her little eyes lit up making them laugh to hear her voice rise like a kazoo.

"Was his hair red?" Irina asked smiling with a soft laugh.

"No," Lena giggled shaking her head and loving playing with her parents.

"Was it green?" Jack asked with the same smile.

"No," Lena giggled again. "It was pink!"

"A pink haired clown! Of course!" Irina laughed remembering the pink haired clown they had seen at the Russian Circus not three months ago.

"What else did you do at school today?" Jack asked smiling and holding her little hand, while her fingers wrapped around his thumb.

"We spoke more Spanish and counted to fifty! And we dug in the dirt!" She smiled excitedly.

"Why did you dig in the dirt?" Jack asked with a slanted eyebrow and smile.

"We were planting twe-trees, Daddy!" She giggled as if he should know why she was digging in the dirt.

"Oh, I see!" Jack laughed. "Were those the same trees you started growing from seeds in your milk carton?" He remembered the day she excitedly told them about that adventure.

"Yes!" Lena nodded with a big smile, "We dug in the di-rt to plant the tr-ees that stawt- start-ed as seeds!"

"Goodness!" Irina laughed kissing her ear again.

"That was a lot to do in only three hours!" Jack laughed, "Was there anything else you learned today?"

"Not at school." Lena shook her head no, "But Mama told me that Russia is u-uni-unique because only Russia has Sibew- Siber-ian Tigers!" She giggled and then sprung her hands forward like she was pouncing with a 'roar' that had Jack roaring in laughter.

"Did she now?" He asked with tears from laughter in his eyes while Irina beamed proudly with her beautiful smile over their daughter.

"And your Mama would know. She knows a lot about the Siberian Tiger." He snorted with held in laughter, "I know, Peanut… why don't you tell Mama the new jokes Uncle Eric told you today?"

"Uncle Eric taught you a joke?" Irina asked with wide laughing eyes that her daughter was going to ask her a joke.

"Two, Mama!" Lena rolled over again so she was staring up at her mother, "Two Jokes!"

"Ok, two jokes." Irina repeated with a smile correcting herself, "Will you ask me? I'd love to hear them."

"Why did the chicken cwoss…cr-oss the road?" Lena asked in all seriousness and Irina couldn't stop the snort of laughter as she shook her head she didn't know.

"I don't know. Why did the chicken cross the road?" She swept Lena's hair off her forehead with a smile.

"To get to the od-ther side!" Lena laughed in a hysterical fit of giggles, not because she understood but knowing it was supposed to be funny as it made everyone else laugh when she said the answer.

"That's a good joke!" Irina laughed seeing her daughter's reaction to laughing 'just because' and then kissed her forehead. "You're funny."

"One more, Mama!" Lena squealed, "Knock knock-" She used her tiny fist and knocked on Irina's chest softly like it was a door.

"Who's there?" Irina asked already breaking into a fit of giggles remembering Sydney asking the same jokes so many years ago in another flash of time gone too fast.

"Orwange." Lena giggled.

"Orange, who?" Irina played along with a surprised look on her face and holding her hand up in question.

"Orwange you glad I didn't say banana!" Lena roared with laughter knowing this one was really funny and Irina covered her with her body, tickling her like crazy beneath her and kissing her silly while laughing.

"Stop, Mama! Save me, Daddy!" Lena cried for help through her laughter knowing the tickle game well.

Jack pulled on Irina's shoulder and she rolled carefully over Lena into the middle bringing Lena up on top of her chest while Lena and Jack began to tickle her senseless until she was begging them to stop.

"You never suwrender, Mama!" Lena giggled tickling her under her chin and knowing her mother all too well.

"I will, I promise and Mama always keeps her promise!" Irina gasped for breath through a smile still feeling Lena's tiny fingers against her neck and Jack's in her side.

"Okay." Lena agreed quickly and lay down exhausted on her mother's chest with ear pressed to her heart. "I love your heart, Mama." She said a moment later, speaking in Russian and thinking about her mother's heartbeat and the sound it made, and instantly brought tears to Irina's eyes.

Her hand had stilled on Lena's back where she was rubbing circles having never before heard Lena say that, though they knew it was true. Lena loved to listen to Irina's heartbeat, she always had. But to hear Lena actually say it, understand love enough to say what she had, was like a shot through the heart.

Jack too, had tears suddenly glistening in his eyes looking down at her little body blanketing Irina's and hearing Lena say what he also felt.

"Me too, Peanut. Me too." He kissed her head and then Irina's lips as her tears rolled from her eyes into her hair on the pillow.

* * *

Christmas had the entire family once again joining in the Christmas shopping for the orphans making it an annual family event now and Anya, it was revealed at just two and a half, was a dance prodigy. After watching the ballet perform _The Nutcracker_ as it did every holiday for the orphans, Irina and Sydney found her mimicking the movements of the Sugar Plum Fairy's solo dance almost exactly, two days later from memory.

From that day forward, the newest little Russian ballerina danced wherever she went.

* * *

January 1st, New Year's Day, of 2007 brought the birth of Sergei and Madeleine's first child, and Katya and Marcelo's first grandson, Gustav Sergei Marcelo was named after his father and grandfathers. His birth also united the Imperial Family of Russia with the Royal Family of Sweden making him a Grand Duke of Russia and a Prince of Sweden. His grandparents couldn't be more thrilled. His Russian, Italian and Swedish heritage made him simply beautiful and impossibly adorable.

On April Fool's Day, Mia celebrated her second birthday. Her parents asked her repeatedly what she wanted for her birthday and every time she would reply with the same; she wanted her baby brother.

Eric and Sophia's second child wasn't due for another week but around 10 PM on March 31st, Sophia had gone into labor and when Mia awoke on her birthday that morning, she discovered her birthday wish had been granted. Her baby brother, Felix Eric Marcelo, had pulled the biggest prank of all and he too, had been born on April Fool's Day.

"You realize this is entirely hilarious?" Vaughn laughed looking over Weiss's shoulder at the baby in his arms while Mia climbed up on the chair next to her father to get a better look at her brother. "Only you can have two children born on the day for celebrating pranks and fools."

"Yeah," Weiss nodded with a smirk, "Very funny gift I might add." He laughed placing the little white rabbit's foot good luck charm on his son's forehead laughing. Vaughn making a joke about the magic of Houdini, the great magician who had been born 'Eric Weiss.'

"Mia, do you like your new baby brother?" Sydney asked her sweetly kneeling down to look at the baby and the adorable little girl standing on the chair looking at him with a smile.

"My baby!" She giggled and brushed her hand over his spiky hair, dropping a kiss to his head carefully and they all 'awed.' She loved him.

"Listen to this," Weiss smiled widely, "Munchkin, what is your brother's name?"

"Fewix!" Mia yelled out excitedly and then began jumping on the chair and all their arms flew out to ensure she didn't fly off the chair in her excitement while they laughed.

"I think he's a definite hockey player? What do you think? Think he can play for the Kings?" Weiss asked Vaughn with a laugh looking at his son quizzically.

"Oh brother! Not you, too!" Sydney laughed shaking her head and taking the innocent baby from Weiss with a smile thinking about how her own husband decked their son Jaxx out in hockey gear on his second birthday and already had him out on the ice.

"Both Anya and Eva were in tights and a tutu before they were two," Vaughn smiled back with a teasing banter, "Girls dance and boys play hockey."

The truth was, their son Jaxx, loved water frozen or otherwise, period. His love of the pool matched that of Nicholas and the two were forever in the water swimming and '_swpashing_' around. With his dark Derevko eyes that he'd gotten from his Babushka Irina, and blonde curly hair he'd gotten from his Papa Jack and Grand MaMa Bella, he was not cute, but 'gorgeous.'

Both he and his Uncle Nicholas were consummate flirts and charmed every woman simply by batting their long eyelashes.

* * *

_Pasadena, California - July 2007_

"Hello?" Sydney called out when she Vaughn and their three children, Anya, Eva and Jaxx came through the door followed by Weiss, Sophia, Mia and Felix.

They were going to be having dinner with her parents and sisters and brothers and niece but couldn't locate them in the house.

"They're probably out back." She smiled and led the charge of children and people into the back yard to find the rest of her family. She spotted her three younger siblings instantly but her parents were absent. The Security Detail walking the perimeter nodded at her with a smile before continuing on their way.

"Hey there, Munchkins," She called out and grabbed their attention where they were digging in the large sand box. "Where are Mama and Daddy?" She asked calling her parents by the names her siblings new them by.

"They went upstairs for a minute." Lena answered her back with a smile scooping a healthy pile of sand into a dump truck and repeating exactly what her father had said to her just a minute before, "Mama is packing."

"What? Why?" Sydney asked immediately on alert and stunned to hear her mother was leaving.

"Dhere was a big eawth shake," Nadia informed her big sister with a smile raking her fingers through the fine sand.

"Earth shake?" Sydney asked with a small smile knowing her sister was trying to say _earthquake_ but hadn't heard of any earthquakes and she was certain there hadn't been any in the Los Angeles area or she would have felt them. It also wouldn't explain why her mother was leaving.

"In Central America," Weiss shot a look over to Sydney having seen on the news before coming over about a massive earthquake that had just hit that area of the world.

"Mama is going to help the Guacamolians and make them feel better." Nicholas offered up next trading his bucket for a scoop with his niece Anya.

"Guacamolians?" Vaughn asked with a quiver in his voice trying not to laugh.

"Yes! Guacamolians!" Nadia repeated what her brother had said and had the adults chuckling.

"Not guacamolians!" Lena shook her little head with an exasperated tone and sighed but explained in a soft voice to her younger siblings, "Guat-e-malans! They are people from Guat-e-mala. Guac-a-mole is the green stuff that Mama makes for chip dip. It comes from avocados."

"Who told you about Guatemalans and Guacamole?" Weiss asked with a laugh and raised eyebrows impressed.

"Mama told me about Guat-e-malans right now…" She paused a minute to scoop thinking about her mother explaining to her where she was going and why, "And Daddy told me the green stuff Mama mashed up the avocados for… is guac-e-mole… when we had it on the Four-th of July at the party with the fireworks, remember?"

Lena looked up at him with big bright eyes while fifteen-month old Felix sat down in her lap. The little girl didn't mind, just scooped around him and covered his legs with sand holding him to her with one little arm.

"Hey," Jack smiled coming up behind them all and scooping up Eva along the way giving her a kiss where she'd been playing with a tricycle. "Your mother has to leave." He informed the group with a sad smile.

"So I heard," Sydney stood with a smile from where she'd been kneeling by the sand, "She's going to help with the earthquake? What is she going to do there?" She brushed the sand sticking in her bare skinned knees.

"Assess the situation, which already doesn't look good. It's a natural disaster and she wants to help." He spoke softly with Eva content in his arms to play with his shirt buttons, "Apparently, she spent quite a bit of time in the years we didn't see her, in the region that was affected the most. She has crews coming from Russia to help with Search and Rescue as well as Emergency Response and supplies." He kissed Eva's cheek again adding, "Julian is going with her. They'll only be gone a couple of days."

"She's just all over the place with her good will, isn't she?" Weiss smiled with pride thinking about the amazing leader, Irina truly was.

* * *

_Pasadena, California - August 2007_

Lena was at the kitchen table coloring her picture and watching _Sesame Street_ with her brother and sister, as was their morning ritual. They were waiting for Sydney to come pick them up for their _Sibling's Day Out_. Sydney was taking Lena, Nadia and Nicholas to _Disneyland_ while Vaughn had a _Daddy's Day Out_ with their own children.

Irina was on the phone with Vladimir discussing business and Jack was making breakfast.

"Hey, good morning to all." Sydney smiled coming in the door and kissing her mother on the cheek as she passed, seeing she was busy on the phone and pacing as she always did when talking business. "Umm, that smells good." She smiled inhaling the smell of waffles her father was putting on plates and kissed his cheek as well.

"Do you want blueberry, chocolate chip or plain?" Jack asked with a smile looking at the variety of bowls filled with different mixes for his little ones mixed palates. "Never mind." He laughed shaking his head already knowing what she wanted. Her tastes hadn't changed since she was three. "You want chocolate chip."

Sydney's smile lit her face that he remembered after all this time and dropped kisses to each of her sibling's foreheads. "What are you working on over there, Lena?" She asked with a smile leaning over to look at her sister's picture, seeing her working feverishly on it with a concentrated look on her face.

"I'm making a picture of Cookie Monster for Daddy." She didn't even look up as she answered so busy with her blue crayon.

The response, the picture, the intended recipient and the table in this kitchen were too much for Sydney and she choked on her held back laughter, leaning over to whisper loudly in Lena's ear while looking at her father, "Well, whatever you do, don't leave it on the kitchen table."

She burst out laughing and then yelped jumping upright when Irina's hand swatted her butt, shaking her head with a smile trying not to laugh on the phone having heard her daughter's comment.

"Mama!" Nadia called out loudly after scribbling in her own masterpiece, "Mama!" She called out again with a happy smile wanting her mother to see her drawing. Irina turned around and smiled to her trying to end her phone conversation but Nadia wanted her to give her a verbal response and jumped out of the chair, tugging on Irina's shirt and calling out, "Mama! Look!" very loudly just as Irina was ending the call.

"Nadia, you mustn't bother Mama while she's Tsaring." Lena spoke calmly while continuing to draw furiously and her parents and older sister all exchanged glances before breaking into huge smiles and laughing at what she just said.

"What did you just say?" Sydney asked her with a smile to repeat it, making sure they indeed heard the intent little girl say what she had.

"I told Nadia she mustn't bother Mama while she's Tsaring." Lena repeated in an exasperated tone and then sighed, reaching for another crayon.

Most little kids would say, '_Don't bother Mama while she's working,'_ but for Lena, her mother's work was being the Tsar. They'd never said such a thing, '_Tsaring_,' and had no idea how she came up with it on her own but hearing it again and the seriousness of which her little voice said it, sent another wave of laughter through the kitchen.

"Done Tsawing?" Nadia looked up at Irina with big sad eyes after being scolded by her big sister for bothering their Mama while she was Tsaring. Her little hands slowly bringing her picture up wanting to show her mother and seeing she was no longer on the phone.

"Yes, Doodle Bug, I'm done Tsaring," Irina chuckled and scooped Nadia up kissing her cheeks and feeling badly her attention had been divided between work and motherhood, "Mama's sorry. Now what would you like me to see? Is this for me?" She asked with bright eyes taking the picture from Nadia with one hand and observing the squiggly colors. "That's so pretty, thank you!" She smiled and kissed her again walking back to the table and taking a seat with Nadia in her lap.

"Mama dwaw Cookie! Synney, too!" Nadia giggled with excitement having her mother and sister's full attention now. "No, Synney!" She yelped grabbing the jade green crayon from her sister's hand, and handing her a dark blue one instead, "Cookie is blue!"

"Okay, I'm sorry." Sydney tried to hold back her laughter; 'shame on her for thinking jade green was close enough,' and saw her mother's body shaking with held in laughter while she drew her own Cookie in the standard blue crayon.

Nicholas was playing contently by himself in the corner of the kitchen lining up blocks meticulously having a marvelous time on his own and not really caring for coloring.

"Snuggle Bug, what's your Cookie doing?" Irina asked looking down the table at what Lena was drawing. She could see the moon in the upper corner of the picture that was fairly standard in all her drawings, her child's obsession with the moon and the stars only continuing to grow and make her smile, but Irina couldn't quite see what she was coloring now with a red crayon having just finished with a silver.

"He's going to the moon, Mama." Lena smiled coloring a red stripe on the rocket she'd drawn around her Cookie, remembering Cookie's trip to the moon she saw once on her Cookie Monster DVD.

"Of course he is." Irina smiled with a soft laugh drawing large crossed eyes on her own Cookie while Jack began to make their plates.

"I remember when I was little, Cookie Monster ate the moon, and then all the lights went out." Sydney smiled over to her sister remembering her own Cookie love to some extent.

"Yes, he did. But it came back on when the sun came up again." Lena answered seriously and made the adults chuckle once more to hear her describe the light of the moon like a light switch. "And you can't really eat the moon. It's made of dust and rocks." She added while still looking down and finishing her drawing.

Sydney and Jack's eyebrows both quirked in awe that she was so philosophical and knowledgeable about such things while Irina smiled proudly and continued on coloring for Nadia.

"Who told you the moon was made of dust and rocks?" Sydney asked with a curious smile, continuously intrigued by her sister's little brilliant mind.

"Mama." Lena looked up briefly towards her mother at the end of the table and smiled when Irina smiled at her. "Mama tells me all kinds of neat things about the moon and stars."

"Really?" Sydney smiled looking between the two, "What else did she tell you about them? Did she tell you what stars are made of then?" She asked seeing if her four-year old sister knew the real answer to this tricky question.

"Yes, Mama told me the stars are burning balls of gas millions of miles away." Lena had exaggerated the word 'millions' to stress how far that was and her little eyebrows shot up nodding with a soft laugh adding, "That's really far away, Mama said."

"Good Lord, Professor Bristow, what are you teaching her?" Sydney turned to her mother and laughed astounded that her sister actually knew.

"She asks me questions and I give her honest answers. I did the same with you." Irina smiled with a shrug, "It's the only way to learn. What's the point of giving some nonsense answer that she'll believe and then when she gets to school learning its actually something else and then being confused between the two?"

"Oh no, I agree with you, its just…" Sydney shook her head with a smile and low giggle, "Amazing that she's retaining all this."

"Not only retaining, but understanding." Irina's smile lit her face using her teacher tone, "Lena, Sweetheart the stars are made of gas, right? But what is burning gas? What does it look like?"

Lena raised her little hand and put it close to her face, pointing with one tiny finger like she was looking down the barrel of a gun and focusing in on the blue flames licking the bottom of the scrambled eggs pan Jack was currently making.

"That's burning gas. That's what the stars are made of."

"Oh my God, she's a genius!" Sydney laughed with surprise and pride.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Jack asked with a chuckle, winking at Lena that she did a good job. "That's right, Peanut. But what did Mama and Daddy say to you about burning gas?" He slanted his eyebrow at her looking very 'fatherly.'

"I'm not to ever, ever, ever, ever touch it. It's very, very, very hot and it will burn me and I'll cry a lot because it hurts and I'll get a very bad ouchie." Lena answered right away shaking her head 'no.'

Her reaction and recitation explaining to Sydney now, why she'd earlier been pointing to it like it was a dangerous secret; she'd been schooled very well by their parents of the dangers and was afraid of it, a healthy fear.

"That's right, Snuggle Bug. Good job." Irina nodded in praise with a smile, "Nadia, Sweetheart be careful with your crayon or you'll hurt your eye." She spoke softly into her daughter's ear as she was waving her crayon around in front of her little face, and trailing it around her features like she was drawing them.

"I'm dwawing my eyes like you dwaw Cookie's eyes." Nadia explained making perfect sense to her and causing her parents and sister to chuckle softly while Irina wrangled down her arm and the crayon again.

"Sweetheart, crayons are for coloring on the paper. You have to be very careful with your eyes and not touch them." Irina smiled at her daughter kissing her head and taking the crayon from her little Picasso's hand.

"Why can't you touch yow eye?" Nadia asked with her sweet little voice, turning her head to look at her mother and Irina shifted her on her lap to be able to see her.

"If you touch your eye it will hurt. You're not supposed to touch your eye." Irina smiled at her fingering her hair behind her ear.

"Why will it huwt if I touch my eye?" Nadia asked again still not understanding why should couldn't. She could touch everything else on her body and it didn't hurt.

"It just does, Sweetheart. Your eyes are very sensitive and have to be treated very gently." Irina knew that this wasn't going to satisfy her daughter's curiosity and only first hand experience would teach her what her mother's words could not.

Sure enough, Nadia's little finger went directly to her eye and touched it.

"Owe!" Nadia blinked hard with her eyes watering but not crying.

"See, I told you it hurts to touch your eye. You shouldn't touch your eye." Irina tried not to laugh and shook her head 'no.' "Don't touch them anymore, alright?"

"Don't touch youw eye." Nadia shook her head 'no' adamantly as if warning them all, "It huwts to touch youw eye."

"Oh… you're funny. I love you!" Irina laughed and kissed her little neck tickling Nadia and making her giggle.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace - September 3rd, 2007_

"So the big day is finally here." Kendall asked smiling as he drank his coffee in the kitchen with Jack and the others, all of them having come over this early morning to see Lena off on her first day of school going Full-Time now. "Lena's starting All-Day Kindergarten." He shook his head in wonder.

"Yeah," Jack did the same, shaking his head softly staring into his cup pondering how quickly time flew by, "I can't believe it. I'm going to miss her. I tried to talk Irina into keeping her in half-day Preschool for another year since she is only four right now, with where her birthday falling late in the year." He looked up smiling sadly.

"Dad," Sydney smiled using that 'tone,' the same one her mother used. "She's ready. She's more then ready. Her thirst for knowledge is astounding, and she's not being challenged anymore in Preschool. She'll be fine."

"You sound like your mother." Jack gave her a soft smile, knowing they were right but not wanting to 'let go.'

**_*Never Grow Old*_**

Lena was sitting on the bathroom counter with her feet inside the empty sink looking at a photograph while her mother did her hair behind her facing the mirror.

Her long hair had been brushed out and parted slighting off to the right in the front of her head before going right down the middle of her head the rest of the way where Irina was currently twisting it into tight little buns at the base of her head. Just the way Lena wanted it after seeing a picture of her Mama on her first day of 'big kid school.' She finished the last little bun and lightly tipped Lena's chin up with her fingers so they were both looking in the mirror, Irina already had tears in her smiling eyes.

"All done."

"I look just like you, Mama!" Lena smiled and giggled brightly holding up the photograph of Irina on her first day of school.

"Yes, you do." Irina laughed kissing her tiny little bird neck before pulling out a small jewelry box and removing a delicate titanium locket with Lena's birthstone surrounded by several of Irina's tiny birthstones on a tiny chain. "I have something for you. To celebrate your first day of big kid school." She smiled with a single tears escaping as she looked in the mirror and put the necklace over Lena's head and then around her neck, clasping it.

"It's a locket like yours!" Lena giggled excitedly looking at it in her little hand.

"Go ahead and open it." Irina smiled as more happy tears fell.

Lena bit her lip in concentration and opened the tiny locket to reveal a picture of them both. Lena's little face was pressed against Irina's with arms tightly around her neck, laughing and both were smiling.

"It's you and me!" She bounced and wiggled on the counter in excitement, "Yours' is me and Nee-Nee but this is you and me!"

"Yes, its you and me." Irina turned her around on the edge of the counter looking into her dark eyes with her own blurry ones, "Its so you know that Mama is always with you. In here." Irina placed two fingers over Lena's chest and heart, tapping lightly with a smile, "In your heart… and in case you ever get scared at school or whenever Mama isn't with you, you can look at the picture of us in your locket and not be scared anymore. Okay?"

Lena nodded with a smile and closed the locket, throwing her arms around Irina's neck in a vigorous hug. "Thank you, Mama. I love you."

"I love you, too, Baby," Irina held her and closed her eyes with a sigh and smile, "To the moon and back…"

"More than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth," Lena giggle leaning back and palming Irina's cheeks saying her part.

"Forever and always…" Irina brushed noses with her in an Eskimo kiss and and then kissed her lips before helping her down and taking the picture, setting it on the dresser where she grabbed Lena's tiny knapsack made of worn leather, "Are you ready?"

"Yep!" Lena giggled excitedly while Irina knelt down to help her put the backpack on. "You're coming too, right?" Her little eyebrow slanted in slight nervousness.

"Yes, I'm coming too." Irina hugged her and held her with tears in her eyes. "Mama's and Daddy's always come with you on the first day of school in Russia."

"You didn't go to school with Nee-Nee on her first day of big kid school?" Lena's little eyebrow slanted again in question when her mother stood and held out her fingers for Lena to take hold of.

"Yes, but only for a little while. School is different in America." Irina smiled remembering fondly Sydney's first day of school and the tears she shed sobbing in the car when she drove away, "The first day of school is a _very_ big day in Russia."

"You're not wearing your crown to school?" Lena looked up at her mother who was dressed in a black skirt suit with a white blouse and high heels but no crown. Usually on '_very big days in Russia'_ her mother wore her crown. They all did. "You said it was a very big day in Russia and you always wear your crown on very big days."

Irina laughed softly as her daughter's astuteness, "Not today, Snuggle Bug."

In truth she didn't want to hold a captive audience, which the crown definitely made her stand out. Today she wanted to blend in with the other parents, as an equal not 'just' a Tsar, but a mother and not attracting more attention to Lena or herself then necessary, though she knew it was most likely wishful thinking.

"Oh, here she comes." Marcelo smiled and nodded over Jack's shoulder while they waited in the foyer and saw Irina leading Lena by the hand down the steps.

She looked impossibly cute in her uniform of a black overall jumper with a white dress t-shirt underneath and a black zippered, cable knit sweater she wore over it to ward off any chill. Her little legs were covered in black tights and she wore black Mary Jane shoes on her little feet. The little buns in her hair and the tiny knapsack on her back finished the adorably cute image of a little one on her first day of school.

"Awe." Everyone awed and Lena smiled widely.

"I'm going to big kid school!" Lena yelled with an excited giggle and they all clapped and cheered, '_yay!_

"You have a good time okay and remember I love you!" Sydney hugged her tightly with tears in her own eyes. When she stood and looked around at the large group gathered, she saw they all did. This was a momentous day for all of them: Lena's first day of school.

**_*Fumbling Towards Ecstasy (Remix)*_**

Jack swooped her up and kissed her before saying goodbye to everyone after they wished her luck and rode to school in her armored limo, sitting between her parents in her car seat and wiggling her feet back and forth excitedly holding both their hands.

Jack and Irina looked up at each other and shared a smile over their anxious little girl; tears in both their eyes with minds flashing back five years to the first ride the three of them had taken in this limo. The morning after they'd come to find Irina; Jack had finally told her he loved her and she him on their way to see Alexei. Irina was pregnant with Lena at the time and when they arrived in town, Jack had finally gotten to meet his little girl, seeing Lena for the first time on the sonogram.

They had no idea what they were going to do when they left the clinic that day, with Irina still a fugitive and the 'hunted,' and Jack the supposed 'hunter.' They were scared out of their minds but determined to find a way to make a life together and have their family.

Five years later, they were taking their gorgeous little girl to her first day of school.

Irina leaned in slightly and Jack met her lips in a lingering kiss over Lena's head and smiling when they heard her giggle beneath them. When they looked down her head was tilted back and she was staring at them kissing above her with a wide grin. Jack's eyes flashed to Irina with a smile and they both kissed Lena's cheeks simultaneously causing a peel of giggles to tear from her tiny body in joy.

The laughing had caused her to inhale air in a gulp and soon after her little body was bouncing.

"I have-" She hiccupped loudly and bounced, "The hiccups!" She finished giggling and then hiccupped again and both Jack and Irina burst out laughing with their minds flashing back to Irina's belly bouncing that morning with Lena's hiccups.

There were quite a few gasps and mouths agape as they entered the school and walked down the hall towards the Kindergarten Room with Lena walking between them holding onto one finger each with her tiny hands and the Security Detail not too far ahead or behind.

'_So much for the blending in idea_.' Irina thought to herself as she smiled walking into the Kindergarten Room and seeing it come to a complete standstill with parents and children ceasing all movement. Irina had the Security Detail waiting outside the room with only Lena's personal bodyguard, Max, coming inside with them as he would be the one with her daily and the kids needed to get used to him, and he they.

Most of the parents jumped for joy and ran around with joy upon opening the class roster list that came in the mail and seeing Lena's name listed, so proud their children were going to be in the same class as the Tsarevicha. Now seeing her before them with her parents so close had them all dumbstruck with smiles on their face.

Jack handed Lena the bouquet of flowers she'd picked with Irina for her teacher and smiled when he knelt down and kissed her cheek, "Go ahead, Peanut, give them to your teacher."

The young teacher walked over to greet them, being the first brave soul to approach and swallowed hard with a smile as she stood before them, smiling at both of the parents and extending her hand to Irina first.

She'd met with Irina and Jack a week ago to discuss the educational plan for the school year for Lena and the rest of the class, and the woman had hardly slept since so nervous about teaching the future Tsar of Russia and fearing failure. The teacher had been 'one of Irina's,' put through school when she had been an anonymous donor and Irina assured her she had every confidence in her abilities to teach her child.

Irina clasped her hand and kissed each cheek with a greeting and Jack did the same before the teacher kneeled and Lena handed her the flowers with a nervous smile and kissed both of her teacher's cheeks.

"Welcome Lena," The teacher smiled staring into the gorgeous eyes of the little girl before and feeling 'wrong' about not addressing her as Your Highness, but the Tsarina had asked her to call Lena by her name, so that she didn't feel out of place with the other kids and on equal ground.

The day started with the teacher giving her address to the parents and students while they all sat before her, with the children in their tiny desks and their parents in little chairs beside them. A great deal of chuckling went around the room when the parents originally took their tiny chaired seats practically sitting on the ground but making them somewhat level with their child.

The sight of the Empress and Emperor doing the same only made the parents respect them that much more. They were human and didn't feel above the rest, even if the 'rest' held them in a higher place.

Irina couldn't contain her own soft laughter looking over and seeing Jack in the tiny chair in his suit with knees practically to his chin and listening intently to the things the teacher was saying about what the class was going to learn this year.

The loving glances, the little looks, the laughter in their eyes with smiles on their faces and the way they held hands behind their child had the entirety of the room captivated watching them and the dynamic they'd only heard about, read about, or seen on film now with the real people in front of them. The waves of love they seemed to radiate lightened everyone's heart with a smile and pride that this was their Imperial Family.

Soon the entire class had pushed their desks back and were sitting in a large circle with parents and children on the floor as they went around the room and introduced themselves, who they were, what they did for a living, how many children were in their families etcetera with the child doing the introductions. Many of which were quite humorous but it was a way for everyone to get to know each other though Irina and Jack knew everything already about each child and their family having read detailed security reports on each insuring Lena's safety.

When the next family to go came up, everyone chuckled softly knowing all about them as well and listened to hear how Lena would introduce herself and her parents. She was sitting on Irina's lap from where her mother was sitting on her hip in her skirt with legs bent back and off to the side as many other mothers in skirts were doing. Lena's little hand was holding her locket in one hand and her mother's in the other.

"And Lena, why don't you introduce yourself?" The teacher smiled initiating the conversation as she had with the other children. "Can you tell us your name?"

"I have two names… a long name and a short name. My really real name and title… is Her Imperial Highness…. Tsarevicha: Lena Alix Irina Ivanova Romanova Bristowva… Grand Duchess of all Russia," She smiled rattling it off perfectly having mastered it with lots of practice after asking her Mama what was her real name since so many people called her different things: Your Highness, Grand Duchess, Tsarevicha, Lena, Snuggle Bug, Peanut, etc. Now she understood she had one real name and titles and nicknames. Her inquisitive little mind had to know. "But…that's the really long one so we don't use it all the time… only on special occasions." She added making everyone laugh before going on, "My short name is Lena Bristow." Her gorgeous little smile and tiny voice lit the room into bright smiles and giggles from the other kids who thought it was funny she had such a long name.

"Very good, Lena." The teacher smiled impressed with her little Tsarevicha already, "And do you have any brothers or sisters?" She asked with a smile all of them knowing of course she did but it was a standard question to everyone else so it only fair to ask Lena as well.

"I have a big sister and a big brother and I have a little sister and a little brother." Lena smiled widely adding, "And I have three nieces and a nephew." Making everyone laugh aloud again.

"That's a big family." The teacher smiled widely, "What are your sister and brothers names?" She asked again as that was another standard question.

"My big sister's name is Sydney, but I call her Nee-Nee and my big brother's name is Julian, but I call him Ju-Ju, and my little brother's name is Nicholas, but we sometimes call him Nicolai or Little Man or Cowboy and my little sister's name is Nadia but we sometimes call her Doodle Bug or the Firecracker." She rambled on until she was finished and then sighed with a smile causing all the parents to laugh deeply and Jack and Irina shake their heads softly in wonder. Irina dropping a kiss to her head and wrapping her arms around still chuckling and loving her four and a half -year old innocence.

"Wow! That's a lot of names and nicknames to remember!" The teacher chuckled shaking her head with a smile. Lena was doing what ever other kid had done telling their names and nicknames but hers just seemed that much more funny because she had so many siblings. "What about your nieces and nephews? What are their names?"

"Anya, Eva, Jaxx and Ria." Lena smiled with pride, "I'm their favorite aunt."

"I bet you are." The teacher answered through the laughter that she was so funny in her seriousness, "Do you know what your Mama and Daddy's names are?"

"Yes, my Daddy's really real name is Jonathan but no one calls him that except for Mama and that's only sometimes and everyone else calls him Jack." She answered so seriously with so much information the adults were all struggling to hold back their laughter until she finished, "And my Mama's really real name is Irina but lots of people in my family call her Rina and my Daddy calls her 'My Love."

Jack and Irina were instantly shaking their heads looking down when everyone 'awed' immediately and then broke into laughter.

"That's very sweet." Her teacher smiled at her while blushing. "And what do they do?"

"Well, my Mama is a Mama and my Daddy is a Daddy." She answered with slanted eyebrow in thought for a second before going on, "My Mama is a Mama to me and to Nee-Nee, and to Ju-Ju, and to Nicolai and to Doodle Bug, first. Because we are her babies and she loves us very much… and then," Lena emphasized the last word, "She is a Mama to all of Russia and her people because she loves them all very much and wants to take care of them, too. But we share her."

That brought on another mix of awes and soft laughter and another kiss to her head from her proud mother with tears in her eyes that she fought hard to blink back. The parents, so touched to hear the declaration from her innocent lips apparently having heard it before from her mother and father and making them feel all the more loved by their Tsar and even a bit guilty for 'sharing her' with her family and her lovely wonderful children who were so generous to do so.

"And my Daddy used to work away from home too much and he didn't get to play with Nee-Nee or spend time with her and it made him sad and it made Nee-Nee sad so now he doesn't want to work that much and he quit his job so he can be with Mama and spend time with us and play with us and take care of us while Mama is Tsaring because he loves being a Daddy." Another soft gasp and awe went through the circle and more than a few, including Irina, were now wiping at fallen tears through their smiles and laughter.

Jack was just as moved, looking at his daughter in shock, that she was so completely amazing and had remembered what he'd told her over a year ago and only once but she understood it and it made him want to cry hearing her repeat it back and loving her so very much. He was going to go home and hug Sydney again but for now, he kissed Lena's head with a smile and a nod with pride.

"She's amazing." The mother next to Irina smiled speaking softly and shaking her head in awe, "Really… she is. What a big little heart she has."

'_How very true_.' Jack smiled thinking about the abnormally large heart his daughter had inherited from her mother and all the loving capacity within it.

"Thank you." Irina smiled with pride and kissed Lena's temple again.

"Very good, Lena." The teacher smiled and moved onto the next child, "Andre, can you tell us your full name?"

_***Time***_

Andre was in the middle of telling how many sisters and brothers he had when Irina's Head of Security burst through the door and called out, "Your Majesty." He looked rather panicked even trying his best to smile softly at the children and parents in the room and it was obvious something was a miss.

Irina had told him not to interrupt them while with Lena's class unless it was an Emergency and so her eye's slid to Jack and carefully slid Lena onto his lap kissing her head before the man quickly entered and helped her up, leading her out of the room and Jack nodded for them to continue.

"What's going on?" Irina asked immediately folding her arms over her chest and looking at the man now beginning to sweat as they stood in the deserted hallway on blue green tiles of the new school.

"A group of rebel terrorists have taken an primary school hostage in Beslan." He answered quietly having just gotten the call.

"Why?" Irina gasped with a chill racing up her spine knowing that hundreds of parents and children would be in the building on the first day of school.

"Apparently, they didn't like their countries becoming part of Imperial Russia and this is there way of showing it." He wiped the bead of sweat from his brow, "They've got heavy explosives rigged all over the building."

"What do they want?" Her heart was pounding now with adrenaline in fear for the safety of those held hostage and rage at those who'd put them there.

"A succession of their former countries from Imperial Russia." He knew that was never going to happen as the majority of the country had voted for it last year and were thriving under the new rule.

"Get the helicopter and my gear. I'm going in." She ordered softly with a nod and spun on her heel, pulling open the door and entering the classroom once more.

"I'm sorry for the interruption. Jack," Irina called out softly waving him into the hall and Max over to Lena to take his place.

Jack kissed Lena whispering he had to talk to Mama and then placed Lena in the big muscular bodyguard's lap with more than a few kids and parents looking at the black metal of the gun in its chest holster that was exposed when he sat down and his shirt bunched. Lena looked impossibly tiny in the large man's lap and he looked entirely out of place though he held her comfortably, having been the agent assigned to protect her since she started Preschool last year.

"What's going on?" Jack asked the moment they were in the hallway again noticing the heavy increase in armed agents around the hallway and classroom just since they'd arrived and his hair stood up on the back of his neck.

"A group of rebels have taken a primary school in Beslan hostage… wiring it with heavy explosives." Irina answered standing in front of him and away from the agents for some privacy.

"What?" Jack almost shouted in alarm, "Why?" He asked knowing that was the better question.

"Because they're angry about their countries becoming part of Imperial Russia supposedly and they want-" She stopped when an agent rushed up to her with a black gear bag addressing her and she said, "Thank you," and nodded at him quickly and then immediately picked up with Jack where she'd stopped, "A succession of their former countries from Russia."

"Well, that's not going to happen so now what?" Jack asked her and then his mind rapid fired and looked down the black bag partially open and saw heavy Kevlar and black fatigues, "_No! Irina, no!_ You are not going to go in there!" He raised his voice considerably seeing what she had planned.

"Jack-" Irina began to give her rebuttal having thought they'd gotten past this.

"_No!_ No, Irina! This is not the same as you going on a meeting of elevated risk into Chechnya or another war torn country where you risk assassination! This is you actually and knowingly putting yourself in the path of immediate danger! Where the chance of you dying is considerably higher! We gave up this life, remember?" He knew he was lecturing and the vein in his neck was throbbing but he didn't care so panicked out of his mind at the thought, "And now you're telling me you're going into a school wired to explode with crazed rebels holding people hostage because they don't like you or Imperial Russia! Let your Special Forces handle it! You're a mother for God-sake with a little girl in there right now and another two at home who I will not sit down and tell them their mother died while off playing action hero! Think about them, Goddamnit!"

"Is that what you think that I'm doing?" Irina maintained her calm tone though her speech was rapid and practically breathed fire, so enraged already with the situation and Jack only adding to it, "I'm not going off to play action hero, Goddamnit! And I am thinking of our children! I'm always thinking of our children, Jack! You bastard! What do you think I'm doing this for? It could be this school held hostage, Jack! It could be our children under these threats and in immediate danger! Are you telling me you wouldn't give a shit about your natural instincts to protect them at all costs and just sit silently by while a Special Forces dealt with the situation? No! I know you better than that! You'd be the first through the door after me!"

"Yes, I would!" Jack fought back in a sharp tone and then quickly lowered it in this rapidly heated argument, "I'd be right there with you if it was this school and our children but its not, Irina! Its not our children!"

"Yes it is, Jack!" She snapped back, "They are my children and they should be yours! I'm the Mother of _all_ Russia and as Lena even understands, all of Russia's children 'are' my children and I love them and have to protect them at all costs and I can't sit back and do nothing while they are threatened!"

Jack's attack deflated a bit with that reasoning and knowing she honestly felt it and he couldn't blame her for it as he felt his own heartstrings tugging furiously to do something.

"And what if something happens to you? What am I going to say to her or Nicholas or Nadia?" His tone was deflated but held great emotion, "I already had to sit one of our little girls down in my lifetime and tell her that her mother was dead and never coming back and I won't…_can't_ do it again!" His tone was softening before he desperately reached for straws better left untouched, "I can't sit them down and tell them that their Mama died trying to save someone else's children… tell them that she put Russia over them."

"That was a low blow, Jack." Irina shook her head with angry and emotional tears in her eyes that she would not let fall as she began her own tirade of defense, "I don't put Russia over them, you bastard! But I'm responsible for Russia's wellbeing as I am for theirs and what kind of country would I let them grow up in, telling them to be proud of if I let people come in and threaten to blow up innocent children and parents? If I stood by and let that happen, what would they think of their mother then? When I had the power to do something and I stood by and did nothing because of 'what ifs? I'm constantly telling our children that I won't let anything bad happen to them and that I'll protect them from harm and die in doing so if I have to! And I know that at times I'll fail and I have! Because you can't control everything all the time no matter how hard we want to! But I'll never stop trying to keep them safe because I promised I would! Lena's old enough to know as you just heard, that I love all of Russia and the children of Russia as I love her and if I let something bad happen to them it will be like I'm breaking my promise to her as well! Because I promised to keep them safe and take care of them as the Mama of Russia and if fail at that she won't believe I'll keep my promise to try and keep her safe either! And I don't want to break any more promises to her or any of my children and my family and Russia and I don't want to have to go into this situation or any other that could potentially take me away from you again or our children… I don't want them without their mother or you without me but damnit, Jack!" She sucked in shaking breath and tried to calm herself and her rising emotions but failed when a single tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek though she ignored it, "I can't standby and let these people blow up my children!"

"Then let me go in with the team instead of you." Jack felt his heart pounding in his chest and echoing in his ears understanding where she was coming from and agreeing with her but not wanting to lose her either.

"No." Irina answered immediately shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest not even entertaining the thought of Jack going into a building rigged to explode. Her heart almost stopped the minute he said it. She couldn't stand the risk of losing him and living without him anymore then he could.

"Why not?" Jack argued.

"We don't have time to argue this!" She countered not really having a good reason, only the one he was just previously trying to use on her and she shot down. Neither of them liked the thought of possibly losing the other: the entire exchange between them thus far happening in less then a minute with its heat and passion.

"Then let's go in together!" He shot right back as the most logical solution knowing someone had to go in and neither wanting the other to go without them.

"No! We can't! If something happened our children would be orphaned and I'm not doing that to them!" Irina argued back as another fat tear fell from the other eye and she ignored that too, "We really don't have time for this argument. I'm sorry but you know as well as I do we can't both go and leave our children alone. They need one of their parents. This is part of the responsibility I signed on for when I became the Tsar and I asked you before we ever started down this road what you wanted to do and you said you'd support me in this. You encouraged me to do this. You'd stand by my side and I need your support, Jack." Another fat tear fell from her blurry black eyes speaking in a quieter voice still heavy with emotion, "I know your concerns and I know your worries and I share them and I don't want to do this but I have to! It's already hard enough to go do this and be away from my children and my husband without having to fight with you on it too! Please. Stay here with Lena and be with her so she at least has one parent present on her first day of school."

Jack swallowed hard with heaving chest feeling his mouth going dry. Believing she could do this but not wanting her to do it without him by her side. He nodded sharply once letting his mind agree with her but remained silent from speaking and expressing that his heart did not.

"Thank you… I'll call before I go in." Irina inhaled a sharp breath and wiped at her tears regaining her composure and taking a deep breath and letting it go to release the anger before facing Lena. She walked back towards the door where he remained standing and tense without saying anything and she paused before opening the door turning her head back to him, "I love you, Jack… never forget that." She hated fighting with him, especially when they only fights they had these days were out of their intense love for each other and fear of safety and losing the other. He didn't respond and she only waited a second after before entering the room.

"Lena," Irina called out with a soft smile and motioned for her little girl to join her by the door. "Mama's so sorry, Sweetheart but I have to go now and Daddy's going to stay with you, okay?" She spoke softly to her daughter kneeling down and cupping Lena's face while the class continued on with introductions though everyone was straining to listen and watching the interaction between the two intently. "I don't want to leave but its very, very important, okay?" Lena nodded sadly with her head in her mother's hands. "Remember what I said…" She tapped on Lena's chest with her fingers again and a small smile, "I'm always with you in here and if you get scared just open your locket and remember how much I love you, okay?" She asked smiling when Lena nodded again and then kissed her forehead, both cheeks, lips and then hugged her tightly, "I love you, Snuggle Bug, to the moon and back…"

"More than the stars in the Heaven's and the grains of sand on Earth," Lena responded quietly with a quivering voice as she tried not to cry.

"Forever and always." Irina finished brushing their noses with a smile and cupping Lena's face she rested their foreheads together, "I love you, Sweetheart… never forget that."

Jack had come through the door and witnessed the goodbye and his mind kept flashing back to the one from the film she had with Sydney saying almost the same thing before she disappeared on them and was gone and his heart began to pound rapidly.

Everyone else noticed a new tension between the two and something in the air and their hearts broke for Lena realizing that the Tsar was apparently leaving. The goodbye between the two had caused their own minds to flash back to the film when she had to leave her daughter before and had some watching the exchange between the two now with blurry eyes and unshed tears.

Jack stepped beside Lena when Irina kissed her one more time, holding out his finger for his daughter to hold and both looked at Irina as she stepped back and looked them both over once more with a nod and then pivoted on her foot and went for the door.

"Be careful." Jack finally found his voice when his heart demanded he speak just as she opened the door, bring her attention back to him, "I love you." He added softly and not really caring whom' else heard or witnessed it as to him they were the only two in the room right now.

"As I love you." Irina answered only seeing him and gave Jack a small smile, so thankful to hear him say it even though she knew it just before leaving. She was gone and rushing down the hall moments later and they heard the helicopter come flying rapidly in overhead and land on the playground pavement just beside their room.

All the children jumping up and running to the big glass windows seeing the black military helicopter landing with its doors open and awing over such a sight and their parents flocked in behind them.


	41. Chapter 41

_**AN: The new photos for the magazine cover as well as those spoken of will be posted to the Absolution & Forever and Always Tumblr page, tagged SAWild, for those that wish to see 'Lena.'**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): World on Fire **_**by Sarah McLachlan,**_** Whisper of a Thrill **_**by Thomas Newman from Meet Joe Black Soundtrack**_**, Answer **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, The Whistle Stop Cafe **_**by Thomas Newman from Fried Green Tomatoes Soundtrack**_** , Smokey Lonesome **_**by Thomas Newman from Fried Green Tomatoes Soundtrack**_**, Walkaway **_**by Thomas Newman from Meet Joe Black**_**, A Small Measure of Peace **_**by Hans Zimmer from The Last Samurai Soundtrack**_**, The End **_**by Hans Zimmer from The Dark Knight Rises**_**.**_

* * *

FORTY-ONE

o

'_I love you, Jack… never forget that_.' Jack's mind flashed back at her words and his heart screamed to '_go!_'

"Peanut," Jack quickly dropped down to Lena's level speaking quickly knowing he had to move fast, "Daddy has to go with Mama. It's very important and I have to make sure she's safe, okay? And you're going to stay here with Max and I'll call Aunt Katya to come and stay with you today, okay? And then you'll go home and you'll be with Nee-Nee and everybody else until Mama and I get home. I love you, Peanut." He kissed her rapidly and held her tightly "I'll see you later." He motioned Max over and waited for the man to take her hand. "Thank you." He nodded and then flew out door at full speed seeing Irina now walking towards the helicopter. He ran as fast as he could out and around the building and across the playground to the helicopter just as the skids were leaving the pavement. He jumped in when they were already off the ground while everyone in school and Lena's classroom watched through the windows with rapt fascination at what was happening.

**_*World on Fire*_**

"What are you doing?" Irina fisted his shirt and pulled him upright into the seat beside her when they were already in the air, angry that he hadn't stayed like they'd agreed.

"Standing by your side and supporting you just as I promised." Jack yelled over the roar of the blades looking into her gorgeous but heated dark eyes that were softening as he spoke, "We made a promise, Irina. _Together._ We're partners in everything and I'm not letting you do this alone."

"And what about our children? If something happens to the both of us…" Irina began to argue even as new tears began to form and fall, in love with the man so much it hurt even when he made her insane at times.

"Then this will be extra incentive for us to keep each other safe. So that we do come home to them. I wouldn't be much of a father or husband… if I just let you go in alone." He yelled again reaching up and wiping her fallen tears with a smile, "I love you, Irina… and I'm never letting you go again. So you'll just have to deal with it." He smirked trying to get her to smile and then kissed her lips when she did.

They changed in the air and were on the ground in front of the barricaded school surrounded by the military and police already in less then a half hour from when Irina was first notified of them taking over the school.

She had been debriefed in the air and was doing a quick overview on the move as she and Jack were strapped with weapons and a held back crowd began to grow even more seeing and hearing the activities. Stunned faces in the sea of grief to see _Mother Russia_ herself was planning on going in and getting the children along with the Emperor Consort. They had hardly been on the ground before going in with the Special Forces Unit and newscasters on the scene immediately began to report the news and turn of events.

"Oh God," Bella gasped when they flipped the television on with everyone congregating around it in the kitchen just after Jack called Katya and asked her to go to Lena's school in their place without really saying why except there was a hostage situation in a Beslan school.

"They're going in…" Kendall gasped when a distant camera caught on the news network caught hold of Irina and Jack dressed in black on the move with Special Forces heading towards the school.

The news of the Russian Tsar going in after the terrorists herself, in an attempt to speak with those holding the school hostage spread like wildfire across the world via the news networks. The terrorists inside watched the television as well, and only smiled more widely as they hit the Red Button detonator in their hands, always intending for this to be a suicide mission and happy to take the beloved Russian Tsar out with them.

The school erupted into a giant fireball on LIVE television and everyone watching screamed and instantly started sobbing with the loss of life inside.

Those in the kitchen at Alexander Palace were gasping in horror and disbelief with instant tears flooding their eyes. The sobbing newscasters immediately commenting on the fact that not only were there hundreds of parents and children inside now perished but the Tsar and Emperor Consort who were trying to save them.

"Are you okay?" Jack gasped through the smoke and dust lying beside Irina from where they'd been thrown back in the blast with sheetrock, wood and cement falling around them licked with flames.

"Yes, are you?" Irina coughed pushing boards off of them and moving to stand in the hallway they'd just entered. She looked around to see that most of the Special Forces team were still alive and getting up as well when they started hearing the screams for help.

"Yes, I'm fine." Jack coughed and looked her over rapidly needing to see it with his eyes. "Not all the charges went off. We have to hurry to get any survivors out!"

The Special Team's Captain gave the order and they all charged forth through the smoke and flames towards the screaming and crying children and parents.

When the group emerged ten minutes later through the smoke and debris leading the hostages out, the hurt and maimed being helped by those who could in the hundreds and yet others carrying out the dead; the mostly tiny bodies of small children whom they were able to save from being consumed by the raging fires now under attack from the firefighters struggling to put it out, their faces were all blank in shock stained with blood, dust and tears.

"Oh God, there they are!" Bella gasped with tears raining down her face seeing them on the television and sending a wave of relief threw everyone only to be quickly replaced again with horror when the camera focused in on Irina carrying the body of a tiny little girl the same age and size as Lena, most likely starting her first day of Kindergarten as well and now dead and mostly naked in Irina's arms. The blast so powerful it had blown her clothes off and marred portions of her skin with blisters. A tiny sock that hung haphazardly from her little foot and little panties were the only things left on her body cradled gently in Irina's arms.

"My God," Sydney gasped in horror thankful her children were nowhere near the room and down sleeping for their afternoon naps with her siblings seeing the carnage these sick individuals had reaped upon the land.

"Call Katya and tell her to bring Lena home… tell her that school is canceled for the remainder of the day." Irina spoke almost in monotone to Jack beside her who had just deposited injured children with ambulance crews and frantic parents. She was sitting back from everyone else listening to the sirens around them and the screams of mothers and parents when they came upon their dead child that had been carried out or realizing when they couldn't find them, they were lost in the blast. The sound of both was deafening and continuous with hundreds of lives lost.

Irina had taken her Kevlar off and then shirt, wrapping the dead little girl in her arms with it while still cradling her and looking at her sweet little face. She looked like she was sleeping; her body still warm and her face hadn't a scratch on it.

Irina knew that once she joined the crowd of hysterical parents searching frantically for their children, one of them was going to recognize the child in her arms, their heart and soul… and their worlds were going to come violently crashing down. She couldn't do that to them yet… so for now, she cradled their baby girl close and rocked her gently back and forth.

"Okay…" Jack answered softly with tears running down his face looking at the child and then to his wife who had a blank look in her eyes revisiting a hell he had hoped she'd never again visit in holding a dead child in her arms.

When she finally stood and moved forward joining the inconsolable chaos around her, Irina's eyes flashed around to see the maimed, the grieving, the dead. There were so many. Entire families were gone… just from going to celebrate the first day of school. Parents still searching now held photographs of their loved ones and as she moved through the sea of grief with Jack and a security guard beside her she saw the gorgeous, smiling and very alive little girl, who was now dead in her arms, in a photograph held by her sobbing mother.

The woman was four feet from Irina when the mother's eyes locked with hers and then saw the child in Irina's arms and dropped to her knees shrieking in hysteria with blinding tears and pounding fists on the ground. Irina's tears were hot and blinding as she carefully knelt before the woman with the child in her arms.

The mother couldn't look at her dead child for to do so would cement the reality she didn't want to believe and chanted '_No, no, no'_ over and over again with face into the ground with a slumped body. She finally looked up when Irina placed a hand over her head gently. The horrified mother then buried her face against her child and sobbed uncontrollably while Irina curled over her, holding them both and crying with them.

The papers around the world the next day showed photos of the backs of Jack, Irina and Lena between them hanging onto their fingers and walking down the hallway taking her to her first day of school. The photos below it were of them carrying the maimed and dead children out of a fire and debris cloud and then of Irina holding both the dead child and her mother on the ground. The fact that the little girl in her arms was the same age and had the same dark hair as Lena in the photograph above sent a violent chill through them all at how easily it could have been the other way around.

In the end, more than a hundred and fifty children had been killed and three hundred parents and teachers. For days straight, they attended mass funerals with an endless procession of tiny caskets with as many as twenty-five being buried at the same time and yet others one at a time but Irina, Jack and most of the Imperial Family had made it to every funeral with the others taking turns at who stayed home with the children, not wanting them to see this.

Watching casket after casket being lowered into the ground Irina couldn't help but wonder if this was her karma and passed deeds coming due all at once? The lives she had taken, now being taken from her. Her people, her children… her loved ones. The entire country shared in her state of grief and the world offered its sympathies for such a senseless act of violence against the world's most innocent... children.

When Irina returned home after the last day of funerals she sat in the garden staring out over the flowers with tears streaming down her cheeks and felt Lena's little presence before she showed up scrambling onto the bench beside her mother. She stood and grasped Irina's face between her tiny hands and then covered her mother's eyes for moment before taking them away with her little face close to Irina's and then forehead pressed to hers.

"No more tears, Mama." She almost whispered using her little hands to wipe Irina's tears.

Irina sobbed pulling her into her arms and holding her tightly, knowing it just as easily could have been Lena. But her daughter was right, they had to go forward… it was the only way they could go and it was up to her to lead her people out of the grief and into tomorrow and the next day and the next. They would go on… they would get past this… and she'd make certain the lives lost were not in vain by holding true to the values and beliefs Imperial Russia was growing stronger on everyday. They wouldn't let the tyrants take anything else from them.

Later that evening they learned that Sergei and Madeleine were pregnant with their second child; a testament that life was as beautiful as it was tragic.

* * *

_November 13th, 2007_

Irina had taken Lena with her to Washington, D.C. for a meeting with President Bush as he finished out the remainder of his term to discuss certain business and currently, they were in heavy negotiations.

"Do you have any eights?" The President asked looking up at Irina across the coffee table in the Oval Office.

"No," Irina shook her head and tucked her hair behind her ear with a slow smile spreading across her face, "Go fish."

"Ah!" The President laughed and drew a card from the deck in the middle of the table and Lena giggled hysterically making them only laugh more.

"Lena, do you have any… fours?" Irina asked with a smile sitting Indian style on the floor at an angle from her daughter whose head was barely peaking over the coffee table as she sat beside the First Lady.

"Nope!" Lena's voice rose and then spilt into a giggle throwing her head back in laughter, "Go fish, Mama!"

Irina clicked her tongue and smiled widely as she drew a card from the pile while Lena continued to giggle.

"Your turn, Sweetheart," She smiled at her beautiful little girl.

"Do you have any… Queens?" Lena asked the First Lady and then looked at her mother before giggling madly, her laughter was endless, "That's Mama's card!"

"I do! I have three Queens!" Laura laughed shaking her head and handing Lena the cards, "You're doing so well, Sweetheart!" Lena was beating them all and loving every minute of it.

"I get to go again!" Lena squealed with laughter setting the cards face down on the table she'd just collected.

"Yes, you do!" Laura laughed with her.

"Do you have any Jacks?" Lena asked and then fell over laughing as she did every time she asked for that card, "That's so funny! That's Daddy's name." She giggled on the floor, looking up at her cards and Irina couldn't help but smile at her. They'd taken a break over lunch from the business talk to play with Lena and all of them were having a marvelous time.

"Nope, sorry." Laura shook her head laughing and then pegged the little girl's cheek with a kiss when Lena sat up again. "Go fish!" She laughed softly with Lena. "Did you enjoy the museum with your, Mama?" She asked watching Lena go 'fishing' and knowing that the two had gone to the _Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum_ the day before. The look on her face told them all to 'get ready' as they were about to hear it all and Irina was chuckling before Lena even began, having heard nothing but her daughter's excitement over the exhibits since yesterday and her repeating in great detail everything they saw about space and the moon to her Daddy, then Sydney, then Michael, and Julian and Ash and so on… telling each of them all over again.

"Yes! I loved it! It was so much fun!" Lena giggled with eyes widening, her concentration on the game lost now that she was talking about her favorite subject. "Mama, showed me Sputnik, and Apollo 11 and the spacesuit that they walked on the moon with! And I got to touch a real Moon Rock and eat space food! They were strawberries and they kind of tasted like candy and I saw big pictures of the Moon! The ranger car they drove around in the Moon Dust with and we saw John Glenn's space suit and Konstntin Feoktis-" Her eyes flashed to her mother's for help with the pronunciation mid-rapid-ramble.

"Feoktistov." Irina smiled with elbow on the table resting her face against her fist with a smile to see her daughter so excited.

"Yeah, we saw his space suit and Aleksei Leonov's suit and, and, and," Lena stumbled in her excitement thinking, "Anatoly… Mama what is his last name?" She once again turned her attention to her mother seeking help.

"Berezovoy." Irina laughed softly while the President and First Lady's eyebrows reached their hairline so thoroughly astounded by Lena's knowledge and memory of such things.

"Yes! And we saw his space suit and the tiny version of the International Space Station and the Hubble Telescope and we saw Gemini and the Columbia capsule! Neil Armstrong's space suit and he even walked on the Moon!" Lena was glowing with excitement while the President and First Lady continued to look at her with mouths slightly agape and Irina smiled with pride in her daughter. "And tomorrow before we go home to California, Mama is going to take me to see the big African elephant where Daddy found her a long time ago on her birthday and then they had coffee and fell in love." She added and they all burst out laughing.

"Wow!" Laura smiled animatedly, "You saw a whole lot! Do you know what that elephant's name is?"

"Ted!" Lena giggled loudly with clasped hands.

"That's right!" Laura shook her head in amazement. "You're such an intelligent girl!"

"My birthday is in two days!" Lena held her fingers up and then changed them, "And I'm going to be five!" She was very excited about this birthday because _everyone_ was having a sleepover. Even Uncle Kendall who didn't like sleepovers was going to stay because she '_asked him so sweetly with those eyes_.'

"I know! We're coming for your party!" Laura smiled brightly and watched Lena's face light up.

"You are?" Lena jumped up and threw her arms around the woman's neck surprising her. "This is so exciting! Are you staying for my first big sleepover, too?"

"Sweetheart, I think the President and First Lady are staying a hotel," Irina gave her a sad smile but flashed her eyes to Laura and George, "But you're more than welcome to join us for a night of sleeping on the floor if you so choose to." She laughed extending the invite.

Laura looked to George with a funny smile and he answered for them both.

"We'd love to."

"Yay!" Lena cheered and then threw her tiny arms around his neck next, planting a kiss on his cheek. "This will be so much fun!"

"Yes, it will!" He laughed palming her little face and looking into her dark eyes, "I can't believe you're already five years old."

"Not for two more days!" Lena corrected him with a smile and made them chuckle.

"Yes, that's right. But time has gone so quickly and yet it seems so long ago." He kissed her little hands with a sigh. "I remember the first night I met you, here in this house… You were only five days old then, so very tiny." His eyes flashed up to Irina with his forever lingering regret and apology over her unjustified Execution. "And now look at you," he turned his animated attention back to Lena, "Such a big girl and so smart!"

* * *

_Pasadena, California- November 15th, 2007_

They'd all settled in for the night after opening gifts and going miniature golfing that proved to be a hilarious activity for all, as well as the Go-Cart racing that got a little crazy and left most holding their sides in hysteria at the level of competition amongst the adults and especially former spies.

Lena was ecstatic with her gifts but her favorites were the telescope from her parents so she could see the moon and stars up close, a Star Theatre from Anya, Eva and Jaxx that illuminated the sky on her ceiling at night and the movie about her Great Babushka 'Anastasia' from Mitchell.

The furniture in the living room had been completely removed, pushed back carefully into the dining room and now a mass of sleeping bags, pillows and stuffed animals covered the floor where bodies were laying settling in and watching the movie that Lena was so excited to see. The pregnant woman in the group, Madeleine, was 'allowed' by Lena to sleep on the couches facing the television and the rest of the group because she had a 'baby in her tummy.'

Nadia was snuggled in with Irina and Lena with Jack while Nicholas took up his place with Judy next to Kendall and the First Lady and President. The mix of people and the situation was entirely hilarious to them all but yet so fitting and Lena loved it.

"Seriously," Weiss shook his head with a laugh cuddled up to Mia and looking over the _Parenting Magazine_ with Lena on the cover, celebrating her fifth birthday. The article's title was '_Raising A Future Tsar'_ having interviewed Irina and Jack about how they were raising her to rule Imperial Russia one day and still letting her be a kid. The slumber party was current proof of the latter. "You are in so much trouble." Weiss smiled looking at the picture of his gorgeous Goddaughter and the ones inside.

"She's gorgeous…absolutely stunning. You're going to have to start beating the boys off with sticks soon." Laura Bush smiled again watching the little girl who waited excitedly for the previews to finish to see her film.

"Jack already is." Irina laughed softly snuggling her head in against Nadia who was lying beside her with her head on her shoulder where they were propped up on pillows when the film first began, "There have been some issues at school with 'kissing."

"Kissing?" The President's eyes flashed to the tiny girl and then Jack.

"Yes," Jack smiled shaking his head and sighed thinking about it already starting so young, "There are a few little boys in her class who decided they would start attacking her with kisses. Constantly. She was being mobbed and getting upset at recess because they wouldn't leave her alone. Max had to step in on more then one occasion and so I went to school with her one day. Sat the boys down and told them to leave her alone."

"He put the fear of Jack Bristow in them." Sydney chuckled thinking about her father facing the little boys and warning them to stay away from her sister. "And then sent Imperial sealed letters to each of the boys houses and their parents to please speak to their sons about their kissing activities that were getting a bit excessive." She laughed out loud as did many.

"_Shhh!_" Lena quieted them bouncing on her Daddy's lap, "It's starting!" She pointed to the television, "Mama, that's the Winter Palace!" She whipped her head to her mother recognizing the palace animated on the screen. "They're waltzing! We waltz! Daddy, you waltz with me!" She giggled, loving the fact that she could recognize where they were and what they were doing in the film.

"Me too!" Nadia added with a giggle looking excitedly at her father.

Jack smiled back at her, loving dancing with his little girls, and his big one too, he thought with a smile and looked over to Sydney who was curled up with her own two little girls.

"God, he even looks like Sloane." Kendall whispered with amazement seeing the animated version of the evil Rasputin and Sloane's great grandfather.

A moment of sad silence fell over the room with the Romanov family fleeing the October Revolution but the smiles came back on with the lively song of 'present' day.

"It's Petersburg!" Anya yelled out giggling excitedly and recognizing her home city.

Irina was watching the film with a slight fascination having never before seen it and how very accurate some things were, and how very off they were in other ways. As the song said, it was a 'rumor' her mother had survived after all. Looking at the drawings of the Russian people in this scene, however, her eyebrows knit.

"Why are all the Russian people missing teeth?" Irina asked suddenly and the room exploded in laughter.

"It's a cartoon, Mom!" Sydney laughed with tears in her eyes, having thought the same thing but to hear her mother suddenly say something was hysterical.

"I don't care! I'm Russian, half of this room is Russian… and we're not missing teeth! What kind of impression is this giving children of Russians?" Irina asked with a smile hinting in her eyes and slanted eyebrow that only had them rolling with laughter further.

"Oh yeah, I looked at them right away and thought, Russian's have bad dental hygiene." Weiss smirked over at Irina and she threw a pillow at his smartass head, careful not to hit her Goddaughter and great niece Mia.

When the film was over and the lights turned off, Lena had them all lying on their backs and looking up at the 'stars' on the high ceilings of the living room to gaze at the illuminated version of the sky from her new Star Theatre. She proceeded to point out various constellations she'd learned about from her Mama and Daddy.

The adults had to chuckle as some of them had never seen certain constellations or known their names and listening to Lena point them out now, couldn't help but feel like they were in school and she were their teacher using her little red laser pointer that came with her gift.

"And there is Cassiopeia." Lena pointed with the red light moving the laser to the "W" constellation in the sky with both hands after mastering how to use it after the first couple of tries.

"Who was Cassiopeia?" Robin asked and laughed that at seventeen, she didn't know of this constellation and was asking a five year old.

"She was the vain Queen of Ethiopia a long time ago. Mama says, vain means that you think you are very pretty and that's not good or nice." Lena continued on with her lesson only slightly side tracked to explain what that word meant since she had to ask her Mama when she said that word the first time. "She is upside down in her chair to make her look silly. Mama said that was her punishment from the Greek Gods for being so vain… for thinking she was prettier than everyone else."

"Good God, Irina!" Dixon laughed amazed, "What are you teaching this child? I think she knows more about Greek Mythology than I do."

They all laughed nodding in agreement with him at Lena's brilliance and wealth of knowledge already at five years old.

"Well, it wasn't intentional." Irina laughed softly, "It was one thing leading to another. She wanted to know if the stars had names. I said some of them did and some of them formed pictures in the sky. Then she wanted to know their names and what pictures and if the pictures had names, and then she wanted to know who named them and I said the Greeks and she asked why and well, then it kept going until basically… this was the end result." She laughed holding her hands up above her on the floor towards the sky where Lena was pointing things out and giving a Greek mythology lesson to everyone.

"Her mind is simply fascinating." Dixon smiled laughing with her and everyone else in the room and then looking to her parents knowing their amazing minds and Sydney's. "And here I thought, Lena, the stars were just for wishing on?" He winked to Irina joking with Lena.

"No, silly!" Lena giggled at him making Dixon smile, "They are used for navigation and to tell time _and_ for wishing!"

"Ohhh, okay!" Dixon's voice swooped in wonder playing along with her, but still amazed at her mind and they all continued to laugh.

* * *

**_*Whisper of a Thrill*_**

With the arrival of 2008 they were all eagerly looking forward to the birth of Sergei and Madeleine's second baby boy in March, but just after Katya, Nicholas and Nadia's birthdays in January, a drastic change and dark cloud fell upon the palace that lingered.

Irina had been away on a short trip for a couple of days when she received a phone call that Katya had collapsed and was taken into the hospital. They didn't know why at the time and Irina immediately got on the plane and headed home.

By the time she had arrived, Katya was out of the hospital and when Irina walked into the palace she found it virtually deserted with a note from Jack on the foyer table saying only, "_We took the kids out sledding. I love you and we'll be home before dark. Katya's upstairs sleeping_."

When it wasn't Dmitri who picked her up at the airport and their other driver instead, Irina's heart began to pound with the reasons why: he was either taking care of Katya or avoiding talking to Irina about what happened. She was still completely out of the loop and headed immediately upstairs to her sister's room to see what was going on and if Katya had been so sick as to collapse, why the hell were they all leaving her alone in the palace?

Irina knocked softly at the door and didn't hear a response. With her fingers on the knob she turned it slowly and looked in. Katya wasn't in bed, only the disruption on a normally smooth comforter gave away that someone had been lying there. Her eyebrows knit with concern and immediately set out to find her elsewhere.

When she stepped foot in the kitchen she saw Katya sitting on the bench in the snow covered garden outside, bundled up in her black fur coat and staring out at the endless sea of tiny white diamonds glittering across the snow.

In the far distance, Irina could make out the brightly colored clothes of her family as they trekked up a hill and then would slide down; every so often the wind carrying a sharp squeal of laughter to her ears and making her and Katya smile as she approached.

"Hi," Irina smiled nervously sitting down beside her sister on the bench and her eyes immediately roving her features.

"Hi," Katya smiled and reached her gloved hand over to take Irina's and then returned her gaze to the tiny specks of brightly colored people in the distance.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Irina kept her focus on Katya, "And if you aren't well, why did they all leave you alone?" She asked a series of questions rapidly with worry seeing something had shifted in her sister's eyes.

"I asked them to go." Katya answered quietly with a soft smile staring at them in the distance and saw Irina's eyebrows knit out of the corner of her eye, "I asked them to take the children and have fun… I wanted to be alone with you for a while." The tears began to build in her eyes.

"Katya," Irina clasped her hand with both of hers' and a quiver in her voice already, "What's wrong?"

"Irina, I have cancer… Advanced Leukemia." Katya answered her in almost a whisper without looking at her and then turned to stare into Irina's glassy eyes with her own as a single tear fell, "I am dying."

Irina gasped instantly with her own tears falling, "No…" She didn't know what to say or do and went with her first instinct, grabbing furiously at Katya and holding her tightly in a crushing hug trying not to hyperventilate with such news. "Dying… what? Cancer? Are you sure?"

"Yes," Katya held her back tightly melting in her sister's arms and letting go of the strong facade she had been trying to hold onto for her children, "It's why I've been sleeping so much lately."

"But there has to be treatment options. Chemotherapy, radiation, right?" Irina pulled back to look at her sister but maintained their close contact with both holding onto the other's arms. She was desperate not to believe this was happening. Not now. Not in their' 'happily ever after.' Not after only a few years with her sister back in her life. She would not let her die. "Whatever it is, we'll do it! I'll be right there with you… whatever it takes, wherever you need to go, whatever doctors you need… I'm here and we'll beat this!" She sobbed breaking down, "I won't let you die!" And threw her arms around Katya again.

Katya went back to the hospital the next day, only returning home for a single day to have '_that one last day'_ before she'd be confined to a hospital bed for whatever time was left.

* * *

They had tried everything they could but she was going fast; her weight dropped dramatically and she had stopped eating during chemotherapy and the massive doses of radiation, the sores in her mouth were too painful to chew or swallow any food. A feeding tube was put in through her nose as they killed off her bone marrow and immune system completely in preparation for the last ditch attempt to save her life, a bone marrow transplant from Irina. The banked blood was now the only thing keeping her alive with daily infusions and it was Irina now, who was donating at dangerous amounts to keep up with giving life to her sister and also keeping enough reserve in case something happened to she, Lena or her son.

**_*Answer*_**

_February 14__th__, 2008_

On the morning of her wedding anniversary, Irina was prepped for surgery. Now laying on her stomach with face turned to the side, she kissed her husband one last time and waved at Katya through the glass window to her room as she passed down the hallway, putting her fingers to her lips and blowing her extremely weak and dying sister a kiss with a soft smile before going into the Operating Room.

Katya had given her an exhausted smile in return, barely able to pull her hand up and mimic catching the kiss before her eyes fell shut again.

"Ok Child, this is it." Alexei stood guard over Irina, as did Marcelo and Sergei, all with tears in their eyes, while the surgeon began his preparations to harvest Irina's bone marrow. He held one of her hands and Marcelo the other. The anesthesiologist began to put her under and soon she was unconscious.

Lying on her stomach with face to the side, her long hair pulled up into a blue cap and naked back exposed, the surgeon began to remove her bone marrow from her pelvis through the small of her back with long thick needles that would suction the spongy life giving material out. When the surgery was over, Irina's bone marrow was immediately taken into Katya.

"It's over?" Katya asked in a whisper of a voice while her husband held her hand and her doctor began to feed Irina's marrow directly into Katya's heart through a central line through a port catheter placed in her chest.

"Yes, Mio Amore," Marcelo smiled behind his mask, the entire area of her room was quarantined off from everyone who wasn't wearing scrubs and masks, the risk of germs too great without an immune system.

"And Irina?" Katya asked barely able to keep her eyes fluttering open but aware the doctor was now infusing her with her sister's marrow.

Irina's cells would travel through Katya's heart and be pumped through her body ending up in her bones where they needed to be, and hopefully start growing and reproducing.

"She's fine, Mio Amore." He kissed her hand through his mask with tears streaming down his cheeks while everyone watched from behind the large glass window crying and praying to God this worked, "She's in Post Op now recovering. Jack is sitting with her."

Katya nodded softly exhausted with drooping eyes as she fought to stay awake.

"Go to sleep, Mio Amore, rest." Marcelo kissed her bald head. "I'll be right here. Let Irina's genetics work their magic." He smiled hopeful that was true and trying to make her smile. She did, just before drifting off.

"Hey Gorgeous," Jack smiled leaning forward and running his hand down the length of Irina's hair sprawled across her naked back, where she remained on her stomach, and brushing over the large white gauze bandage now over the small of her back. Her eyes were beginning to flutter open and he leaned in and kissed her dry lips. He kept his face close to hers while she slowly came to.

"Jack…" Irina croaked out and he immediately gave her a sip of water to wet her dry throat from where the vent tube had temporarily been during the surgery. "Have they started?" She asked wanting to know if her sister was getting the marrow as time was precious.

"Yes," He kissed her again with tears in his eyes, "Almost immediately after they removed it from you."

"This has to work, Jack." She began to cry with tears rolling over the bridge of her nose into the bed sheet and he curled around her, crying with her.

* * *

_Two Weeks Later_

"Why isn't it working?" Irina cried pacing the Waiting Room where the doctors were meeting with everyone to explain what was going on. Katya's condition hadn't been improving since the transplant and seemed to be getting worse. They tried to explain that she wasn't getting worse because of the transplant but because the transplant hadn't taken hold yet and her body was tired from fighting and keeping up. She was staying alive by the tube that fed her and the blood Irina was donating.

"The grafting period can take anywhere from thirty to ninety days, Your Majesty." The oncology doctor tried his best to explain to the frantic Tsar, repeating what he'd said before they'd done the procedure, reminding them that sometimes it just took time. "It takes awhile for the body to grab on and then rebuild entire bone marrow from the transplant… start producing cells with in her body. It takes an eight-week cycle for our own healthy bodies to replenish our red blood cells."

"I know!" Irina snapped stopping her pace and whirling around in frustration with tears in her eyes, "But you also said she doesn't have the time to wait for it to start grafting… so what do we do to keep her alive until then?"

"We're already doing it." He answered softly. "There is no easy answer. We're doing everything we can but sometimes…everything isn't enough."

Irina choked back a sob and whirled around away from their eyes wrapping her arms around herself and then crying when she felt Jack wrap his arms around her and turn her into his arms.

* * *

**_*The Whistle Stop Cafe*_**

"I would have liked to… met my new grandson." Katya croaked out with a sad and wistful smile, her tired eyes flashing open under heavy lids to look at Irina leaning on the bed with her elbows, holding Katya's hand in both of hers. Her grandbaby had been born just a floor below her last night in the same hospital: Roman Stefano Karl. "I'm really looking like a Babushka…these days," She smiled raising one arm with a struggle to touch the black scarf tied around her head. Her comment got the intended small laugh and smile from her sister who was absolutely devastated she was dying.

"Marcelo and Sergei are going to bring him up any minute now," Irina smiled through her tears staining her face and holding back a sob, "So you can see him through the window." She nodded towards the glass window that acted as the barrier. "He's really beautiful."

"You'll take over for me…and be their Babushka…won't you? They already love you so." Katya asked with a weak voice squeezing her sister's hand with what little strength she had watched Irina's face contort in a silent sob, trying to hold it back and be strong and then nodded.

"Yes…of course I will, sister." Irina gasped with tears in her eyes.

"And take care of my children? Sergei acts so strong…but he keeps it inside," Katya tried to smile through her tears and heavy lids, "He gets that from you…don't let him bury it inside…he should be happy. I want him to be happy…and Sophia," Her voice dipped on a whimsical note and she clicked her tongue with a smile, "My Sophia…she's going to need you a lot, Rina. She isn't doing well with letting me go…she's angry…and she's fighting with everyone…pushing them away…she's so much like me. I did that too…when Mama and Papa died…I pushed away Marcelo." She squeezed Irina's fingers again, "Don't let her push Eric away…and tell Eric…not to let her…to just hold her when she's angry with him."

Irina couldn't speak, only nodded that she would and tried to hold back her sobs.

"And Marcelo…" Katya clicked her tongue again with fat tears rolling from her eyes even as she tried to smiled, "Mio Amore…don't let him withdraw into work…keep him around the children…they'll keep him going…they need him." She waited for Irina to nod again before continuing, swallowing hard and feeling her throat parched. "Remind him…that he made me the happiest…woman in the world…that I loved him with everything…in me. I wouldn't have wanted to live my life…without him." She cried and Irina's shoulders began to shake crying with her.

"I'm sorry. I'm 'so' sorry." Irina cried holding her hand and leaning over to cover it with her head, forehead pressed to their connected hands. "You saved my life so many times…and I failed to save yours."

"You did no such thing!" Katya placed her free hand over Irina's head with tears streaming down her face, "Time failed us, Rina…I love you with my whole heart…and you saved me in so many ways…just by coming back into my life. I wouldn't trade the last six years for another thirty or forty…not for anything." She cried, "I want you to know…how proud I was to be your sister."

**_*Smokey Lonesome*_**

Hearing her speak of herself in past tense already was unbearable and Irina's whole body shook crying, pulling herself up and sitting on the bed to hold Katya but instead, it was Katya holding and comforting Irina. Holding Irina's head pressed to her boney chest with her skinny arms and hollow cheek resting on Irina's head.

"I had a good life, Irina. Don't be sad for me."

"I'm going to miss you so much…I can't stand to lose you again, I love you!" Irina cried trying to bring herself back under control and listened to the slow beat of her sister's heart beneath her ear.

A soft knock on the window grabbed their attention and Katya opened her eyes the best she could to see across the short distance to where her husband was standing beside their son, holding his new son. Both had teary smiles on their face, doing the best they could to be happy knowing this was the only chance she'd ever have to see Roman.

"Oh…he is beautiful." Katya whispered softly with a smile, fighting her fatigue. She kissed her finger tips and blew him a kiss, which Sergei caught with tear filled eyes and kissed that hand before kissing his tiny son's forehead, delivering the kiss from his Babushka.

They saw her fading fast and struggling to keep her eyes open and waved with their own blown kisses before returning with the baby to the nursery and then, to return to her side.

"Take care of my new baby boy for me," Katya looked at Irina with a small smile, her eyes fighting to stay open as she thought about the new baby she'd never get to see grow up, "And I'll help Mama take care of yours. I love you, Irina." She smiled softly thinking of her nephew and Irina cried while Katya's eyes slowly shut.

* * *

**_*Walkaway*_**

They stood snuggling into their coats as the cold winter air of a Russian March bit at their exposed necks standing beside the grave and watching as the last of the fresh dirt covered the snow. The tree under which she was buried now was barren of its leaves but in a just a few months passing, time would change everything once again and fill it with brightly colored leaves and blossoms, starting new once again.

Irina stared down at the dirt while the others all began to walk away, the crunch of snow under their feet and the soft whistle of the wind swirled around her and blew stray strands of hair around her face. The fresh brown earth once again being reclaimed to the snow that continued to fall lightly around her.

Irina felt Mikhail's lips press to her temple and then his forehead rested there, cupping the side of her neck and holding her for a moment, "She loved you so much." He felt his own tear slip down his cheeks, "It's beautiful…a perfect spot." He kissed her again and then stepped back, walking away and giving a nod to Sophia who was slowly walking up beside Irina.

"I agree," Sophia smiled through her tears, linking arms with her aunt, and staring around the landscape, "Mama always said how she loved it here." She kissed Irina on the cheek. "Come on…" She tugged on Irina's arm slightly, "Let's go inside…they're waiting."

Slowly and arm in arm, the two walked away from the grave beneath the tree over looking the beautiful lake, now covered in snow and ice but soon to be teaming with life once again.

* * *

**_*The Whistle Stop Cafe*_**

Irina knocked carefully on the door, not wanting to interrupt and stepped inside with a smile still dressed in black and tears on her face.

"How are you doing?" She asked with a soft smile and sitting on the edge of the bed with a sigh, taking hold of her hand and rubbing her thumb in circles over the back.

"Better." Katya smiled reaching up to wipe the tears from her sister's face, "I think Talia must have done some heavy negotiating." She laughed softly and then held in her own cry, "My numbers are improving rapidly now that the grafting has taken hold completely."

"I've no doubt she did." Irina cried with a smile and speaking softly of the woman who was like another mother to her; had saved her when no one else could after Kashmir, leaving her family behind and losing the only one she had left.

Talia Vontonavich had died peacefully in her sleep four days ago, on the same night that they'd all expected to lose Katya. She had lived a long life for someone who had as many complications as she had once had with Diabetes before Irina was able to step in and help give her stable care.

From the moment her grandson Michael stepped onto her porch until the day she died, a smile seemed to be continuously on her face. Over the past six years, she had finally gotten to meet her American grandson, had found out her son was alive and watched as they became a true family again, seeing the birth of four great grandchildren, two estranged sisters reunite, a lost family found again and grow, and watched as a woman she had known since she was almost a baby, and thought of as a daughter…reclaim Russia and become the great leader they always knew she could be.

Talia was in good shape in the end and they had no doubt she could have lived at least another ten years but knowing the woman as they did, and how persuasive she could be, they knew she had probably bargained her life for Katya's…who was far too young to die in Talia's eyes; her grandbabies just now being born.

The thought of her smiling down on them, having gotten her way, made them smile in turn…and feel very blessed for the love she had given them for most of their life in one way or another.

"Thank you, Rina…you saved my life," Katya smiled with tears in her eyes taking hold of her sister's head from where Irina sat on the edge of the bed.

"Just returning the favor." Irina smiled with the slight tease recalling the day almost six years ago she'd awoken in her room just down the hall to find her sister sitting on the edge of the bed, their positions and roles reversed.

Once Irina's bone marrow had taken hold in Katya, it was working in triple time to repair and the difference it was making was astounding to behold. The changes in Katya, seemingly overnight, were significant; literally the difference between night and day.

* * *

The cycle of birth and death, beauty and tragedy continued on with the birth of Ash and Julian's first son, Alexandre (Alexei) Sanjay Donahue, named for the man Julian wanted to honor for all the times he'd saved Irina's life and in doing so, saved his, Alexei, which meant 'defender.' His middle names came from Ash's father and Julian's…Jack. When Julian told Jack that he was giving his son part of his 'father's' name, his son's grandfather…Jack was overwhelmed with honor, pride and love.

Little Alexei looked just like his father when he was born and only grew to look more like him everyday with the exception of his eyes, they were his mother's gorgeous jade green.

At the end of April, they were playing Hide-n-Seek outside on the palace grounds with the children and when the seeking was finished, they couldn't find Lena anywhere. They broke up into teams calling out her name and sweeping the massive grounds, way beyond where they were playing.

When hours had gone by and they couldn't find her anywhere, their hearts jumped into full panic mode that she'd been taken. Irina called in the Federal Services to help them look in a massive search effort and went into complete hysteria when the hour passed midnight and they still hadn't found Lena. They didn't want to believe she'd been taken but they also didn't want to believe something else tragic had happened, like an accident, or drowning in one of the many lakes.

When the light of morning came, so did the sound of tiny footsteps running across the marble floor and yells of, "Mama, I did it!" They came running from every direction with her voice and Irina lunged at her, sliding on her knees across the marble and sweeping her into her arms, sobbing in relief.

Lena, as it turned out, had been purposely hiding from them. Ignoring their calls of her name after she'd found the perfect hiding spot under the stone bridge. For the last year and a half she'd been terrified of the dark, and with good reason with her past, but she'd been talking to her Mama about it and how she had to fight through her fears. Lena's idea of staying outside in the dark all night, was her way of fighting through her fear.

"I was so scared, Mama! But I did it! I did it! I'm not scared of the dark anymore!" She giggle excitedly with dirt smudges on her face having no idea of the situation she'd caused in fighting that fear or the gut wrenching emotions she'd put her family through, especially her mother.

**_*A Small Measure of Peace*_**

Irina was too scared and shaken and was anything but calm when she found out Lena had purposely stayed out all night. With emotions running high, and the horror of what Cuvee had done to her daughter running rampantly through her mind since she'd gone missing, Irina snapped with her.

Holding Lena's tiny face in her hands with raging tears in her own eyes, Irina scolded her harshly for doing such a thing so scared out of her mind that she'd almost lost her again. Lena began to cry silently with her own wide scared eyes having never seen her mother so upset with her or hearing the tone in her voice when she said loudly.

_"Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, do that again! Do hear me? Never! You never hide from Mama, especially when we're calling your name!_" Irina sobbed and trembled where she was kneeling on the ground in front of her with everyone watching.

"Irina," Jack called out softly to his wife, understanding where her fears were coming from and why she was so adamant with Lena now but both were too emotional to deal with the situation in this moment, too many emotions and Lena still not understanding that what she did was wrong. She thought she was doing something good. Seeing her absolutely terrified now, trembling herself in her mother's grasp with wide eyes and silent tears his heart was breaking for both of them but this wasn't helping.

"She didn't know. You're scaring her to death," He touched Irina's shoulder speaking softly, next to her, "Look at her, Irina… she's scared to death right now." He knew his wife wasn't seeing anything in front of her, only running on blind emotion and images of the past.

Irina heard his words and looked at her child's face in her hands standing before her, and felt for the first time, Lena trembling at her hands… the look of sheer terror in her eyes and the tears streaming down her cheeks though she wasn't sobbing… she was too scared to. Too scared at the hands of her mother right now. The thought instantly ripped through Irina and she dropped her hands, catapulting back on her feet and staring horrified at Lena standing there, trembling.

"Oh God…" She gasped and covered her mouth to stop a sob and then bolted for the staircase taking them, two at a time and disappearing upstairs.

Jack's eyes flashed to Sydney and she nodded at him getting his question and intent and nodded running up the stairs after Irina while Sydney scooped up Lena. As she started walking away from everyone else Lena began to cry and then sob, burying her face into Sydney's neck while everyone watched helplessly with sad eyes feeling for both mother and child, knowing what they'd been through and that this was all caused by that. Lena's wanting to fight her fear of the dark because of what Cuvee had done to her, and Irina's snapping at her disappearance because of the same the thing.

"Shhh, Little Buddy," Sydney had tears in her eyes as she went into the living room with her sister, curling up in a big chair and holding her, "It's okay."

"Mama's so mad at me, Nee-Nee… She was yelling Nee-Nee… Why is she so mad?" She cried sitting in her sister's lap and laying her head on her chest, still trembling and sobbing while Sydney tried to soothe her by running her fingers through her hair over her face.

"She's not mad at you, Lena." Sydney tried desperately not to cry seeing the terror shoot through her mother's eyes and remembering all that came before, "She was just scared. Very scared. We couldn't find you and it scared us. Scared Mama really badly. She never wants to lose you again. She was just upset because she loves you so much. But she's not mad at you. She's just scared."

"Why is she scared though, Nee-Nee. Mama isn't scared of anything…" Lena cried through hiccupping sobs cuddled into her sister.

"Sure she is. The one thing that really scares Mama is the thought of you getting hurt, or Nicholas, or Nadia or Julian or me… or anybody in our family… She's just really scared to lose us." Sydney held her more tightly.

"But why? Why is she scared to lose us? I was just hiding." Lena sobbed again trying to control her cries and attempting to take deep breaths.

"But we didn't know you were just hiding. We thought something bad had happened to you and that scared us, and Mama, a lot." Sydney kissed her forehead speaking softly and cradling her against her chest with Lena sitting in her folded-legged lap. "A long time ago Mama lost me. Some people made her go away from me for a really long time. I didn't get to see her again until I was all grown up and she was very sad. And when you were just a baby, the same bad man took you from Mama… and he hurt you, and he hurt me, and he hurt Mama. She was very scared then. Scared she might never get to see you again… or me. When we couldn't find you last night, Mama got very scared again that she might never get to see you again… and that would make her very sad. That's why she was upset with you Lena, not because she was mad… but because she was scared and she remembered the time when you were a baby and almost lost you."

"The bad man hurt me? Was she scared he hurt me again?" Lena asked understanding some but confused on the other parts. She's never heard of a bad man hurting her before; a bad man that could scare her Mama.

"Yes, he did." Sydney swallowed hard hoping she wasn't delving into something she wasn't supposed to yet but her sister was smart and needed a truthful answer as to why their mother reacted towards her the way she did. "And no, she wasn't scared he would hurt you again because he's gone. He can't hurt you or me or Mama or anyone anymore...ever again. He died."

"How did he hurt me?" She asked rubbing her eyes stopping her sobs but still trembling.

"He wouldn't let Mama hold you…or feed you," Sydney brushed her sister's hair from her forehead, "And it was very cold and he took your clothes and blanket and to hurt Mama, he hurt you. Because Mama loves you so, so, so, so much… if you're hurt or in pain then Mama feels it too."

"Really?" She sniffled and hiccupped again.

"Yes," Sydney nodded wiping at her own fallen tears. "Do you know what this is from?" She asked lifting her sister's shirt and lightly tracing the pink scar line down Lena's chest and belly.

"I asked Mama and she said… it was a cut... from when I was a baby… and then I had to go to the hospital... and they made me all better." Lena answered her through shaking breath and hiccups. "Mama has one too… but not you or Daddy or Ju-Ju or Nicolai or Doodle Bug. Only me and Mama… and Mama said she has one because her heart was broken and Papa Alexei had to fix it at the hospital."

"Yes, that's right." Sydney gave her a small smile,

"He had to fix it at the hospital… the bad man hurt Mama's heart… and he hurt you by cutting you with his knife. But you were both made all better at the hospital." She fingered her sister's hair behind her ear, "But that's why Mama is so scared for you. She doesn't want you to ever get hurt again. She loves you so much! Last night, she thought you got hurt again."

"But I didn't get hurt…" Lena rubbed her eyes again still trembling and bouncing with the occasional hiccup.

"I know Buddy, but Mama didn't know that." Sydney kissed her forehead again and wiped her tears mixing with the dirt on her face and smearing, "Your heart… is Mama's heart," She tapped her fingers on her sister's chest, "And if something happens to you it will break Mama's heart."

"And she'll have to have Papa Alexei cut her open and fix it again?" Lena asked and Sydney looked at her with a mixed curt laugh and sob.

It all seemed so easy, like changing the batteries and putting in new ones in her favorite toys. If only that were the case…

"Yes… I'm sure he'll try. But he might not be able to fix it again. So you have to be really careful okay?" Sydney smiled at her, "I have Mama's heart here too…" She tapped on her own chest, "And I have to be very careful to not break it either."

"Okay, I'll try not really, really hard!" Lena smiled with another sniffle, "I'm sorry for scaring Mama, Nee-Nee." She looked down sheepishly, "I don't want to make her cry."

"I know you don't want to." Sydney smiled and kissed her cheeks and hugged her tightly, "How about we go find Mama and you tell her you're sorry for scaring her? I bet she'll feel all better if you give her a big hug too."

"Okay!" Lena kissed Sydney's cheek and the two stood with Sydney carrying Lena up the stairs towards her parent's bedroom.

She knocked softly on the door and waited a moment before her father opened the door and saw Lena had stopped crying. Sydney put her down on the ground and motioned to her father that Lena wanted to see their mother and Jack opened the door to let her pass.

The balcony door was open and Lena walked cautiously through the bedroom and outside, turning the corner and looking over to see her mother sitting on the floor leaning back against the wall of the palace with knees pulled to her chest and silent tears flowing from her eyes.

Irina didn't want to move first and scare her further though she wanted to lunge at her again and wrap her in her arms and never let her go, apologize profusely and kiss her into oblivion but instead, she sat still and waited.

"I'm sorry for scaring you Mama." Her little voice quivered, "I didn't mean to make you cry."

Only a second passed before she ran at Irina and threw herself into her arms, wrapping her little ones around her mother's neck and holding on tightly.

"No, baby…I'm sorry." Irina cried, holding her tightly and kissing her head, "I'm sorry for scaring you. I just can't stand the thought of losing you."

"Nee-Nee told me about the bad man," Lena spoke into her hair and Irina gasped with another strangled sob and more raging tears to hear Lena now knew of Cuvee, "She said he cut me when I was a baby… to hurt me and to hurt you… and you were really scared then and that's why… you got so scared when I was hiding."

Irina couldn't talk only hold her more tightly if that was possible and started rocking softly with her.

"Mama you told me to fight my fear of the dark and try really hard not to be scared of it anymore…and I did, Mama! I did! I'm not scared of the dark anymore!" Lena's voice tracked back to some pride in her efforts, "I fighted my fear Mama."

Irina was cupping her face again much more softly then before and running her fingers through Lena's hair tucking it behind her ears as she listened to her daughter and tried to not breakdown sobbing again. That Lena had done what she'd done, because she told her to do it in a way. Not exactly the way she had in mind but she had done it because Mama encouraged her too.

"I'm proud of you, Lena. That was really brave. But please…never ever run away from Mama or hide from me again, okay?" She couldn't stop the hiccup or sob that escaped and the new tears from falling.

"I promise not to break your heart, Mama." Lena tapped on her chest and then her mothers, "Nee-Nee told me that if something bad happens to me…it will break your heart…and Papa Alexei maybe can't fix it again cutting you open…it might still stay broken…so I have to be very careful with it."

Irina gasped covering her mouth and the sob though her eyes were smiling to hear Lena say that, to hear Sydney had told her that and knowing it was so very true.

Lena was on her knees in Irina's lap facing her mother and moved up slightly on them to press her forehead to her mother's and Irina held in a sob when Lena was staring right into her eyes and then covered them with her tiny hands, moving them away and saying once more as she had once before,

"No more tears, Mama." She didn't like it when her mother was sad and Irina wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into her chest once again with a sigh.

"I love you, Snuggle Bug…and I promise I'll always come find you."

That night when they went to bed, they read the _Runaway Bunny_…one of their favorite stories because no matter where the bunny went to…the Mama would always find him.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia- The National Aquarium - May 2008_

The new aquarium had just opened in St. Petersburg and the school the Imperial children attended had come for a field trip in the afternoon. A mass of Preschoolers and Kindergarteners, in their adorable little school uniforms were now running wildly inside even as their teachers and volunteer parents tried to corral them.

"Boo!" Nadia jumped in front of Lena standing before the massive aquarium in the darkness and then burst into a fit of giggles. "Did I get you?" She asked in her sweet little voice taking hold of her big sister's hand, both little faces illuminated with green light from the tank.

"Don't do that, Nadia!" Lena was not at all happy with her sister, "You scared me! I don't like that." Lena curled her fingers around her little sister's hand, "You're not supposed to be here. We're looking at this tank. We're the big kids. You're supposed to be over there." Lena pointed with her little finger over to where the other four-year-old preschoolers were looking at the fish in a tank across the big room. "With the little kids."

"I'm a big girl too!" Nadia stood defiantly with tiny nostrils flaring. "Mama says I'm a big girl!"

"But not as big as me!" Lena shook her head with animated eyes and exasperation in her little voice, "I'm five and you're four! You should be over there!" Lena began to lead Nadia back to her group.

"No!" Nadia stopped with a huff, holding her sister back as well, "The Daddy over there told me to find my big sister. He said we were supposed to go look at the turtles now." She pointed to a tall cylinder shaped aquarium adjacent from them where sea turtles were swimming around its wide circumference.

"What Daddy?" Lena asked her looking around at the many adults and seeing many different Daddies and Mommies who had come to help with their trip.

Nadia looked around and couldn't see the Daddy who had told her to see the turtles with so many people everywhere. "I don't see him. But he said to go, Lena!"

"I don't-" Lena didn't think this was a good idea. Her class was looking at these fish and not the turtles.

"There he is!" Nadia smiled and tugged on her sister's hand towards the turtle aquarium. A tall man with dark hair was smiling and waving them over, holding the hand of another little girl and pointing to the turtles in the tank. "He's Tania's Daddy." She smiled seeing her little friend holding the man's hand.

"We're not supposed to talk to strangers." Lena remembered her Mama and Daddy telling her many times.

She wasn't too sure about the man but he was smiling and waving at them, holding Tania's hand. She'd never met Tania's Mommy or Daddy before but he must have been Tania's Daddy if he was holding her hand…and Daddies were ok.

"Tania!" Nadia yelled excitedly running over to her friend and dragging Lena with her.

Their bodyguards were standing at the back of the massive aquarium room trying to be unobtrusive in the little Imperials lives as always, but keeping an eye on them and both sets of eyes tracked the two little girls running to the turtle tank from across the room while the third bodyguard kept his eyes trained on Nicholas and Anya still with the other four year olds looking at the fish from the Great Barrier Reef.

"He's so big! Look at him, Lena! He must be a Daddy turtle!" Nadia giggled with little hands against the glass enclosure.

The two had just stepped up to the tank when the dark haired man slipped a small box with putty backing onto the bottom edge of the large tank, the red numbers began their countdown from ten with his smile still in place as he slipped his hand back into his pocket and speaking to the girls he knelt down beside them.

In the blink of an eye, he had removed his gun and wrapped his arms around both little Imperials, eyes flashing up running to the side watching the bodyguards now lunging forward through the sea of kids drawing their guns when a loud explosion of shattering glass blasted through the room and everyone began screaming as the massive turtle tank flooded the room. The tidal wave of water knocking everyone down as the room rapidly filled with water and separating the bodyguards from getting to the girls; screams continuously filling the room and the adults scrambling to save the children from drowning.

"Put us down!" Lena screamed, as did Nadia kicking hard against the man running through the doorway.

A black car was waiting by the entrance and the man jumped in the open backdoor and the car squealed away while the girls continued to scream.

"Shhh! Calm down, its okay!" The man tried to shush them as the woman driving tore out onto the street. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Let me go!" Nadia screamed, "I want my daddy!" Her tears were raging down her little face, "I want my mama!"

"You broke the turtle tank!" Lena cried pounding her little fists against the man's chest when he tried to hold her to him.

"I didn't break the turtle tank!" The man tried to smile at her and wipe her tears, "It just broke. It was an accident. I didn't want you to get hurt. That's why I took you girls with me."

"I want Mama!" Lena sobbed and continued to try and pull away.

"Your mama knows we have you. Its okay." The man continued to try to quiet them and hold them back as they were flailing wildly around in the back of the car. "She's my friend."

"You don't know my mama!" Nadia shook her head trying to squirm out from under his arm but he held them tightly to him.

"Sure I do." The man still continued to speak in a calm voice even as they screamed and cried.

"No you don't!" Lena screamed from the other side pushing hard away from him.

"Yes, I do little, Lena. Your mama is the Empress Irina…and I know your daddy, and sister Sydney and brother Julian."

"You know Nee-Nee?" Lena sobbed looking up at the man through wet eyelashes. "And Ju-Ju?"

"Yes," The man smiled speaking animatedly, "I was at your house last week for the big party. Don't you remember me? I was there with my wife."

"Hello girls," The woman spoke from the front seat and it was then the girls noticed the boy about their age sitting quietly in the front.

Lena didn't remember the man but there were so many grownups at the party.

"Where are we going?" She asked calming down just a little and in doing so, so did Nadia.

"We're going to our house." The woman answered from the front seat and the little boy in the front never once looked at the girls, but stared out the window.

* * *

**_*Time*_**

_Moscow, Russia – The Kremlin_

"I'll schedule a meeting with Hashimoto in Tokyo for late next week." Irina smiled looking up from the report in front of her.

She was meeting with her Cabinet members and Prime Minister Putin to discuss the issues on hand for the week. A sudden chill swept through her body and her heart started to race. An immediate flash of her children popped into her mind and she phased out whatever Vladimir was saying.

"If you'll excuse me," Irina stood suddenly as did all of they, "I have to make a phone call."

She couldn't quite explain her sudden need to call her husband and check in but something was telling her to do so.

"Your Majesty!" Olga burst into her office seconds later with tears raining down her cheeks and Irina's heart skipped a beat. "There was an explosion at the aquarium!" Olga cried staring at her beautiful Tsar and speaking with a shaking voice.

"The children?" Irina asked immediately as the images of her children, grandchildren and their classmates flooded through her mind.

"I don't know, it just happened but…Your Majesty," she cried not knowing how to break this news, "Your daughters are missing."

"My God," Several members gasp.

"What do you mean they're missing, Olga?" Irina's flashed down to Lena and Nadia's pictures on her desk with blood rushing in her ears.

"How are they missing? Where is their Security Detail?" She charged out from behind her desk, stalking down the hallway already on her way out and to the airport.

"The FSB said it was a planned abduction." Olga tried to hold back her tears as she ran along behind her, "A man with dark hair set off an explosive and blew up a tank. The wash of water flooded the room and separated the guards from getting to the girls. That's all I know. They're waiting for you to call them back."

"Jack," Irina immediately dialed her husband's phone with tears in her eyes and heart pounding so hard in her chest it was visible to the naked eye.

"Irina!" Jack was in the same state of panic he heard in her voice, "I just got the call, I'm on my way in right now." He looked down at the ground flying by him from the helicopter with Sydney and Vaughn beside him, both in tears.

"They're missing?" She asked in a gasp holding back a sob and hoping this was a nightmare, a mistake. That her girls were somehow lost in the chaos but now found.

"That's what they said." Jack gulped feeling his mouth and throat dry. "The guards said it had to be a planned abduction. Whomever this bastard is that took them blew the aquarium and flooded it to block them and make their get away in the chaos."

"And Nicholas and Anya?" Irina sobbed boarding her own helicopter on the Kremlin's roof.

"Are okay." Jack sighed rapidly with the only good bit of information, "Scared and water logged but okay. They're with the detail and FSB right now being held away from everyone else. We're on our way to get them."

"Thank God…" She cried again with that bit of relief and then it hit here again the girls were gone, "Jack… our babies." She sobbed in almost a whisper.

"I know." Jack tried to hold back his own tears and failed in anguish and anger, "We'll get them back, Irina. We'll get them back." He couldn't believe this was happening again. His 'girls' kidnapped, Lena for the second time only this time with her little sister and no mother to protect them, no cell phones left behind to give them clues. The FSB had nothing so far on the suspects or the girls' location.

"Why, Dad? Why?" Sydney cried looking at her father when he got off the phone with her mother just before landing in front of the aquarium building, now blocked off by police and ambulance and fire crews everywhere. "Why would someone take them?" She felt the same anguish and anger her parents did; in shock and in disbelief.

"I don't know, Sydney," Jack reached for her hand and squeezed it, "For ransom, I suppose, I don't know." He shook his head having not thought about the 'whys' yet still stuck on the fact it had actually happened.

* * *

**_*The End* _**

"If it was for ransom, we should have heard their demands by now." Irina's arms were crossed over her chest as she paced relentlessly back and forth by the windows in the palace staring out at the now black sky with tears flooding her eyes again. She'd hardly said a word since they'd returned to the palace from the scene of the abduction. Her mind and heart were on rapid fire with raging thoughts and emotions.

Eight long and torturous hours had passed and the investigation still going on without any clue expect the vague description the bodyguards and little Tania were able to give of the abductor. The police and Federal Services were scouring the city for them, fliers going out everywhere and it plastered all over the news. Everyone knew about the abduction of the Tsarevicha and Grand Duchess with the blast at the aquarium and Irina and Jack wanted every Russian with eyes on alert looking for their precious little girls. Roves of people were already out on the streets forming their own patrols along with the police but no such luck yet.

"She's right." The head of her FSB solemnly agreed with Irina from where he sat at a make shift command center they'd set up in the palace. "If this were for ransom we would have heard something by now."

Julian swallowed hard with his own mind flashing back to abducting little Aaron Caplan, from an aquarium no less, to use as leverage against his father in needing his services with the Rambaldi device. He couldn't help but wonder if this was karma coming back to haunt them with the abduction of his own little sisters. With every passing hour and no demands, his panic grew. When they'd abducted the Caplan boy and family, the demands were made instantly once they had them to a secure area. So far nothing had been made in exchange for the girls.

"Well, if not ransom, then what?" Katya almost screamed at the man, not angry with him, but the situation and the bastard who had taken her nieces. She had been pacing right along with her sister. She thought this part of their lives was behind them years ago…this year had already been torturous enough.

"Could be a number of things." He answered shifting his gaze not really wanting to reveal the most likely verdicts.

"What number of things? God damnit, don't hold back! What are we dealing with here?" Katya yelled demanding the answers her sister apparently already knew and wasn't asking, fearful to say them aloud, Katya could see in Irina's eyes.

"Most likely, if not for ransom it usually means they abducted them to keep them, they wanted the child for themselves…or most likely given the situation, to sell them to someone else." He gulped and felt all eyes on him with waves of rage flowing from them, especially Irina for daring to say them out loud, "Probably Black Market for either adoption or more likely, the sex trade."

"Oh dear god!" Katya gasped in instant tears of horror, "Sex trade? They're only four and five years old!"

"Yes, I know." The FSB Director looked down sadly speaking softly, "The sex trade in Russia may hardly exist today, but it still rages on through the rest of Asia and sadly, there is a great demand for that age group. Little girls of that age are usually the ones that bring top dollar."

"My God." Bella covered her mouth feeling bile rise in her throat and eyes burning from shedding so many tears. "How could anyone..." She couldn't finish the thought or sentence shaking her head with raining tears. "They're just babies…"

"I know." The man looked up with disgusted eyes before they saddened again, "Beautiful little girls are always snapped up quickly," He picked up the photos of Nadia and Lena that had gone out on the wire and were now being flashed everywhere, "The gorgeous little girls of the Imperial Tsar of Russia," His eyes flashed over to Irina who looked away already knowing it, "Will be gone instantly."

Katya and everyone else sucked in a sharp breath and sobbed with terror.

"That's why we have to find them before they hit the Trade. I'm sorry." He added softly and Irina turned rapidly from the windows bolting through the group and out of the room.

"I have to make a phone call." She was walking so fast she was practically running with Jack on her heels.

"Who are you calling?" He asked in a rush stopping her just as she left the room with his hand on her arm, already having an idea as to whom she would call.

"Dubey." Irina held back a sob with tears spilling down her cheeks, "He knows the Black Market the best, Jack. I'm going to have him and his contacts on the lookout for our girls."

"Ok. Good idea." Jack swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded with his own blurry eyes, pulling her rapidly to him in a tight hug, "We'll find them, My Love."

"We'll find them." Irina nodded resolutely pulling back and rapidly turning to call the man she hoped would be able to help her.


	42. Chapter 42

_**AN: Just keep this in mind as the theme as we move forward and reflect on the past and continue to bring everything full circle in due time. "Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny."- C.S. Lewis.**_

**_Music for this chapter (on repeat): Barbastella by _Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard from Batman Begins Soundtrack_, Silence _by Hans Zimmer from The Thin Red Line Soundtrack_, Breathe Me _by Sia_, 47 in St. Petersburg _by Jesper Kyd,_ At the Farm House _by John Powell,_ Nach Deutschland by John Powell, A Saturday in My Classroom by _Gustavo Santaolalla from North Country Soundtrack_, The Devil Inside _by John Powell**

* * *

FORTY-TWO

o

Irina dialed his number for the first time, in a very long time.

"Hello?" His deep voice answered.

Irina blinked back tears when he'd answered, sucking in a shaking breath to hear his voice again and the reason she was calling.

"Vijay," She managed to finally get out, trying and failing to keep the emotion from her tone as her voice dipped.

"Irina?" Dubey asked immediately recognizing the voice and immediately concerned to hear the tears she was desperately trying to hold back. "Are you okay? Forget that, I know you're not okay. I'm sorry I asked. We've been watching the news coverage all day about the girls. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." Irina answered quietly with a sigh, sitting down heavily on the side of her bed and staring at the photos of her daughters on her nightstand.

"Has there been any word?" He asked with a hopeful tone, wishing as was everyone else that a ransom demand had been made as that was a far better outcome than the likely other option.

"No. No ransom demands. Which is why I'm calling." She wiped the falling tears from her eyes with the back of her fingers reining in her emotions. "Vijay, I know that part of your Immunity Agreement was to steer clear of all things related to the Black Market but-"

"You want me to use my knowledge and connections to see if there is anything out there now about your girls?" He finished for her, knowing exactly why she would be calling him in this situation, his heart pounding to know that she had called _him_ for help.

"Yes." Irina swallowed hard speaking in a hushed whisper and terrified that her children may actually end up in the Black Market sex trade. "I know this is a lot to ask-"

"Say no more." Vijay cut her off with a sad smile in his tone, "I will do anything for you, Irina. I promised you that once, remember?"

Irina's eyes fell shut and she sighed heavily as more tears surged forth. "I remember." She answered him quietly, "I will make certain that you are not punished or your immunity revoked by helping in this manner. I would never want to do anything that would jeopardize your life and family." She knew the man was a husband and father now with fraternal twins not much younger than her own.

"You aren't asking anything of me I'm not willing to give. I will always be here whenever you need me, Irina. Always." He paused for a long moment before speaking softly again. "I will do what I can to help you find them. Give me a couple of hours and I'll get back to you."

"Thank you, Vijay." Irina answered him and heard the line go dead. She stared at the phone in her hands for a long moment in disbelief this was actually happening. That she was actually having to call Vijay Dubey and ask him to help her search for any information on her little girls that may have surfaced on the Black Market sex trade.

* * *

**_*Barbastella*_**

"You should eat something."

"I'm not hungry." Lena sat defiantly in her chair before him, her little arms crossed over her chest, looking at the bowl of stew in his hand and then to the floor where her little sister was sleeping. Nadia had eaten some of the stew, so hungry from crying for hours and had fallen asleep sitting at the table. _Something wasn't right with stew that made you fall asleep on the table_, Lena thought. The little boy who hadn't said anything yet had shaken his head, 'no' at her when the woman left the room after leaving the stew. He didn't want her to eat the stew either.

The man set the bowl on the table and then sat back in his chair.

"You're quite strong willed, aren't you, little Tsarevicha," He smiled, "Just like your mother…you look just like her, does anybody ever tell you that?"

Lena just continued to stare at him with a slanted eyebrow and looked down again, keeping an eye on the woman coming back into the room by watching her and them, from under her long eyelashes.

"She's absolutely gorgeous." The woman smiled, tilting Lena's face up forcefully, "You're stunning. Even at five years old. We'll be able to command any price we want." She smiled back to her husband before turning back to Lena, "Do you know what stunning means?"

Again Lena remained silent but had heard the word before. Her Daddy had told her Mama she was 'stunning' when she came out of the bathroom the night of the big party last week. The little boy was staring at her from his seat across the living room by the fireplace. He was looking at a book but hadn't turned any pages, just sat there looking at her.

"I asked you if you knew what stunning meant?" The woman gripped, Lena's chin tightly causing the little girl to wince when she yanked her face back up. "Answer me! You spoiled little brat! Do you know what stunning means?"

"Daddy told Mama she's stunning." Lena answered with tears in her eyes and quiver in her voice. No one had ever held her face to make it hurt and spoke so mean to her.

"Yes," The woman sneered, "She is that… as are you, our little Jackpot of Gold. I still can't believe we've got her." The woman's smile raged looking over to her husband again, "Those looks your mama gave you are going to make us very rich." She smiled widely turning back to Lena and then kissed her forehead while still gripping her chin tightly. "Your sister, too. Though I'm thinking about keeping her. She's so sweet and I've always wanted a little girl." She looked back to where Nadia was still sleeping on the mat, "And she listens like a good little girl should! She ate her stew. Now you need to eat it, too!"

"I want my mama!" Lena cried out bursting into tears again.

The woman stepped back shaking her head and picking up the bowl of uneaten stew. "You need to eat this. I made it just for you."

"I don't want it! I want my mama!" Lena kicked her legs out when the woman approached. "I want my mama! I want my daddy! Where are they? You said Mama was coming!"

"She's gone, Lena. You're never going to see her again." The woman sneered again and held out a spoonful of stew, "She doesn't want you anymore."

"I want my mama!" Lena began to cry harder and tremble, "She said she would always come for me! She is coming for me! She promised she would always come for me!"

"Will you please go out and get more wood for the fire. This place is freezing and I don't want us getting ill." She turned to her husband who stood and kissed her lips. "Your mother is not coming to find you."

"I want my mama!" Lena cried again and the woman backhanded her hard knocking her out of the chair and splitting her tiny lip.

"I've had enough of you whining all day, you brat!" She grabbed Lena roughly by the arm and pulled her up back into the overturned chair and sat her back at the table, "You're never going to see your mother again! You understand! I can't wait to sell you for lots of money and be done with this! Now eat your stew! And I don't want to hear another word!"

Lena gasped having the wind knocked out of her and in shock at being hit for the first time she was scared and unmoving.

"_Eat!_" The woman jammed the spoon into her mouth and made her gag, "Now swallow!" She wouldn't let her hand go from under Lena's chin until she felt the swallow. "Good! Now keep eating!" She stalked into the kitchen and Lena trembled violently where she sat.

"Go."

Lena heard a faint whisper and then heard it again.

"Go. _Run!_"

She turned her head to see the boy motioning her towards the open door to outside. "Go, hurry." He whispered again looking back at the kitchen.

Lena jumped down from the big chair and ran to Nadia on the floor pulling on her arm.

"Wake up, Doodle Bug!" She cried but her sister remained on the floor mat unmoving. "Wake up!" She cried not understanding why her sister wasn't waking up at all. "Wake up!" She yelled louder. "Come on, Doodle Bug!"

"What do you think you're doing?" The woman came storming out of the kitchen and Lena screamed with all her might. "Stop screaming you naughty little brat!" The woman clamped her hand over Lena's mouth and tried to haul her back to the chair. "I told you to sit here and eat!" She released her hand from Lena's mouth and Lena grabbed it, biting the woman's hand as hard as she could making the woman scream and whip her hand back in pain but Lena held on with her little teeth.

The flesh eventually tore with Lena's sharp tiny teeth and the woman's hand was gushing with blood; her eyes were wide in shock even as she screamed and scrambled after Lena running out the open door. Her husband saw Lena escaping the house and dropped the wood in his arms chasing after her.

She ran as fast as she could in the dark heading straight into the wheat and the man chased after her at her exhausting pace, soon losing her in the tall wheat and straining to see. There was cloud cover and no moon and the entire area was pitch black having been so far out from the city. He started cursing as he ran back and forth trying to find her in the wheat but the fields stretched on for miles in either direction.

Lena ran and ran and ran unable to see where she was going and crying in hiccupping sobs as she went trying to get as far away as she could from the bad people.

* * *

**_*Silence*_**

Irina was running at full speed through the night across the fields of tall grass, blinding tears streaking from her face as she ran and heart pounding so furiously inside her chest it felt like it was about to explode. She had to get out of the palace and away from it all in the only way she knew how, to run and run and run until she could run no more.

She'd brought this on her children, no matter how hard she tried to escape her past, it always, eventually caught up with her. She'd threatened parents with selling their children into the Black Market in her former line of work to get what she wanted, knowing how utterly devastating the thought was to them, making them willing to do whatever she asked to prevent that from happening. It had all been for show of course, her heart, never the black stone it would have had to be to follow through with such threats.

Now, she was on the receiving end of this torture, feeling what those parents had felt, willing to give her life, her soul or anything else they wanted to prevent her children from being submitted into that life and lost.

By becoming the Tsar of Imperial Russia she'd made them all the more tantalizing for the scum of the Earth fueled by greed and nasty fantasies. She would rip their hearts out when she found those responsible for taking her children, and if they happened to die in the process it was their problem not hers. She'd made a vow to God to never take a life again but what if they had taken hers, by taking her children, the pieces of her heart?

The vows she made for the remainder of her life would no longer matter, as she would already be dead if they harmed them, her heart would cease to beat.

She had failed yet again to protect that most precious to her and her rage and pain over her own failures was magnified ten-fold by those who dared to take them.

Her eyes kept flashing to her watch, waiting to see the blinking red light, signaling her they'd found her girls or at least something so she could save them.

But there was nothing, no flashing red light to save her 'heart' and every minute that ticked by was slowly killing her…without them there would be no way for it to keep beating…what was left of her heart couldn't function with their loss…the damage too severe.

When Irina returned and her aggression and anguish still boiled through her veins like fire, she hit the gym with her trainers and pulverized the sand out of several bags until she bled from her nose, and her muscles spasm protest, with tears raining down from her red eyes.

* * *

"What if we offer a reward for them or any information?" Sophia asked hours later with tears in her puffy eyes holding onto her how sleeping baby boy, Felix.

They were going stir crazing inside the walls of the palace and several had followed Irina's lead, working out their frustrations in the gym, in the pool or by running through the night. Now, they were all exhausted, emotionally and physically and still, they remained frustrated and even more desperate as every hour ticked by.

"We can't." The FSB Director shook his head sadly.

"Why not?" Sophia countered having seen it many times when children had gone missing, mostly on television, "I've seen it done before!"

"This is different." The man countered sympathetically.

"How? And why can't we?" Sophia argued back.

"Because offering a reward for the children of the Tsar," Irina spoke from her place by the window, staring out into the night again, "Is literally, to put a price on their head. We'll have everyone after them, and risk those who do find them holding them hostage for an even higher ransom then the offered reward…it will only escalate from there... And when we do find them, it marks them with a price for the future, and feeds any further thoughts of stupidity for someone else to kidnap my children knowing how much we'll pay for their return." She spoke in monotone and her voice cracked with her will to pay for their return, paying anything they wanted right now to get them back. "It will only make them bigger targets."

Sophia's tears spilled down her cheeks and her eyes flashed from the back of her aunt's head to the FSB Director who nodded slowly in agreement.

Irina's cell phone rang and everyone jumped a little. "It's Dubey." She looked at the Caller ID and quickly answered. "Vijay?" She didn't bother with the pleasantries or exchanging helloes, time was of the essence and her heart was pounding in her ears. "Did you find anything?"

"I have." Dubey answered immediately, "Not much, but something."

"He has something." Irina's eyes flashed to Jack's across the room as everyone waited anxiously for news. "I'm going to put you on speaker so Jack can hear this as well." She spoke to Dubey in the phone with eyes locked onto Jack's not wanting to exclude him just because of her past personal relationship with the man. Irina hit the button and saw the moment of relief pass through Jack's eyes before he reached for hers and Irina set the phone down on the desk so that everyone in the room could hear as they gathered around. "Go ahead."

"Two hours after the girls abduction was made public, a few silent bids went out at the mere possibility they may end up on the Market." Dubey began to relay the information and several present on the other end inhaled silent sobs to hear their worst fears coming true. Katya's fingers lacing with Irina's and holding tightly seeing her sister sway ever so slightly refusing to breathe as she listened. "Just based on speculation, the bidding soon skyrocketed." He paused with clear hesitation in his voice. "Lena officially came up for auction a little over two hours ago."

"Oh god," Sydney gasped with a flood of new tears and swallowed her own sob with hand over her mouth in an attempt to control her emotions.

"The last bid for her was just over $500 million." Dubey added clearly chocked up himself.

"My God," Kendall gasped in horror and scrubbed his hand over his paling face.

"The bidding closes at midnight. Being that she's hot merchandise with everyone in the world, knowing you're looking for her, they'll want to move her quickly." Dubey added softly.

"What about Nadia?" Irina asked trying to find her breath and voice and shake herself out of the same feelings of horror and disbelief everyone else was feeling. Dubey hadn't mentioned her youngest as being put on the Market.

"She was never officially put on the Market. Just Lena." He answered her and Irina's heart sank even further. There were many possible reasons for this and none of them good. "There is absolutely no trace of who put her up for auction. Whoever did this, is no amateur. They know the deep dark layers of Human Trafficking on the Black Market well enough to know how to cover their tracks and move their merchandise quickly."

"Merchandise?" Bella repeated in horror and disbelief at hearing him refer to Lena as such yet again.

"I'm sorry." Dubey heard her response over the speakerphone and realized quickly there were those in the room along with Irina and Jack unfamiliar with such deep dark secrets of the horrors of the world and the language used in that world. "They'll want to move Lena quickly." He amended his statement.

"Bid on her for me, please. Whatever it takes. Win that bid." Irina answered stunning everyone in the room. "Anonymously through your contacts, slowly raise your bid $5 million at a time."

"Just buy her! Whatever it takes! Take all my money back and buy her!" Weiss offered in desperation with tears blinding his vision thinking of his beautiful little Princess Tiger Lilly subjected to any horrors these scumbag bidders wanted her for.

Irina palmed Weiss's face with one hand wearing a sad but grateful smile at his gesture and knowing how much he loved and adored Lena, grazing her thumb over his cheek to wipe away the falling tears she tried to explain. "Thank you but-"

"Mine too!" Marshall threw out interrupting Irina's response with the same desperation for his Goddaughter.

"And ours." The Petersons nodded.

"And ours." Kendall and Judy both offered, followed quickly by everyone else whom Jack and Irina had given the profits of the films to. The money meant nothing to any of them in the face of losing their precious little girls.

"Just buy her, Mom! Bid a billion or more! Whatever it takes! We have the money! Just buy her back!" Sydney cried in desperation and panic, running on pure emotion and not understanding why her mother wouldn't just throw down a massive lump sum of money to outbid everyone else right away. Not many people had that kind of money to do such a thing but her mother and their family did. They could easily outbid anyone else in the world.

Irina's eyes surged with a new round of tears hearing her daughter's plea and looking around the room at all the desperate and loving faces before her. She reached out and grabbed Sydney's hand shaking her head slowly and cupping her face now gently in her other hand. "You don't understand, Sweetheart. I can't do that."

"Why not?" Katya asked with the same flood of tears not understanding as they had the money.

"Because if Mama bids that high right away, everyone else bidding will know that it is her and the kidnappers will retreat, pulling Lena from the Market." Julian's eyes flashed to Irina's in understanding having worked this side of the business before with her.

"But isn't that a good thing?" Marcelo asked having the same confusion. "To have them pull her from the Market?"

"No. Not now. If they believe Mama is on to them, they will likely dispose of the girls immediately and cut their losses." Julian answered him, struggling to swallow the lump in his throat seeing the tears in his mother's eyes and fearing the worst for his baby sisters knowing the evil that lurked within such people to sell children to sexual predators. "By staying in the bidding with raises of only small amounts, any suspicion will be removed while also allowing us to maintain some form of contact and hopefully win the bid if we cannot locate them sooner."

Irina nodded softly at Julian, indicating to everyone else that was her reasoning as well and Jack slid into the space beside her, reaching for her hand and holding it tightly.

"I'll make a first bid and keep bidding." Dubey spoke quietly having stayed silent while listening to the voices of desperation on the other end.

"You have to win." Irina's voice cracked and felt Jack squeeze her hand more tightly that they were entrusting their daughter's life with Dubey in this manner.

"I will." Dubey answered her quietly, "I won't let you down. I will get your beautiful babies back for you." He paused for a beat adding, "My contacts will keep searching for whoever has done this. We'll find them, Irina. I won't stop until we do. I'll be in touch soon."

"Thank you." Irina answered him and the line went dead again as he hung up.

"Is this really happening?" Carrie asked with paling face and feeling nauseous and about to vomit. "We're forced with buying Lena back… off the Black Market Sex Trade?" Her mind was reeling that they were all former spies with great resources and this was what it had come down to with things happening so quickly.

"And what about Nadia?" Sophia asked with the same questioning horror in her eyes and feeling of disgust and terror surging through her. "Even if we win the bid for Lena, how do we find Nadia?" She searched the eyes of those around her who had knowledge of such things from their previous lives and saw the same repeated look of uncertainty and fear that they didn't have an immediate or easy answer.

"We never stop looking." Jack finally spoke, answering resolutely for them all. "We will find them both. We will." He squeezed Irina's hand again more tightly and then pulled her gently into his arms, kissing the side of her head and holding her tightly to his chest. "We will find them." He whispered against Irina's ear feeling her hot tears raining down against his cheek and mingling with his own. "We will find them." He repeated resolutely refusing to accept any other outcome and felt Irina suddenly pulling away.

She couldn't stand to be comforted when her girls were out there.

"I'm calling Vladimir for an update." Her eyes flashed briefly with Jack's before she quickly left the room, afraid to let him hold her for a moment longer or she would break down.

* * *

_***Breathe Me***_

Jack had spent the last hour snuggled with his son at the very late hour, trying to explain to him why his sisters weren't here for dinner or bedtime, why his mother couldn't stop crying and everyone else and why there were policemen staying at their house.

Nicholas was adamant about making his Mama feel better and now the two stood at the darkened bedroom door with his little hand in Jack's, looking at his mother curled up in a chair looking out the giant glass door windows in silence, clutching a picture of Lena and Nadia sitting in the garden on the bench in the exact same poses she and Katya had done at their same ages of four and five. Their little smiles and captured laughter heartbreaking now to Irina thinking about how scared they must be, what was happening to them and thankful they were together at least.

Jack knew she was devastated and blaming herself for their daughters kidnappings. Believing she'd brought this on them with her past life, threatening other people with the prospect of selling their children though she never would have gone through with it and making them targets by becoming the Tsar of Russia. With so much going on in the last ten hours since the abduction, Jack hadn't a moment alone with her yet, a moment to just hold her, cry and try to convince her, this wasn't her fault and they would find them.

"Mama," Jack called out softly with Nicholas standing beside him clutching three stuffed animals.

Irina turned her head and saw their silhouettes in the doorway and couldn't help the smile that came to her lips albeit sad.

"Come here, Baby." She motioned for her son and he came running.

He jumped into her lap in his new red pajamas on with the cowboys printed on them, he'd outgrown the old, and the same matching ones she had, given to her on Mother's Day. Carefully she set the picture down and Jack sat on the edge of the bed watching them. Irina held him tightly in her arms when he wrapped his little ones around her neck and cried.

"I love you, Sweetheart." Irina kissed his ear speaking in a whisper, "To the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heaven's and the grains of sand on Earth, forever and always."

"I love you, too, Mama." Nicholas kissed her on the lips when he pulled back, "Forever and always." He giggled and then smiled, "I brought you a surprise." He held his little hands behind his back, "Daddy said you were scared so I brought you something to sleep with so you're not scared anymore."

He pulled the stuffed animals out from behind his back, Mr. Yellow Bear, Mr. Brown, and Lion.

"You can sleep with Mr. Yellow Bear and Mr. Brown since Lena and Nadia are gone," His little smile and sincerity broke her heart and flushed her eyes with new tears at his 'surprise' and his words, 'gone.' "I don't think they would mind. If you slept with Mr. Brown and Mr. Yellow Bear since they are gone." He said again in his innocence and twisted the painful knife in Irina's heart making her eyes bleed with more tears and a pained smile when she held the stuffed animals her children never slept without in her hands. "You can sleep with Lion, too. Now you won't be scared." He laughed believing that all three of the trusty sleep companions would help chase away the monsters that scared his Mama.

Irina pulled him tightly into her arms, crushing him to her chest and crying, trying to hold back and not scare him, she kissed him again and again before cupping his little face, "Thank you for the surprise, Sweetheart. I promise to take good care of Lion for you." She held all three stuffed toys to her chest tightly kissing him again, "Goodnight, My Little Love." She held him tightly before letting him slide off her lap and grab hold of Jack's fingers again to go back to bed.

Irina gave them both a sad smile and wave with rivers of tears on her face watching them go. She pulled the three toys up to her nose and inhaled her children's delicate scents, closing her eyes and sobbing with the ache in her heart.

The police and Federal Services were scouring the city and now the country trying to find her missing children. She'd ordered all airports closed with no flight traffic at all able to leave in fear one of them might have her children on them and the same with out going trains. None of the trains were allowed to leave Russia and cross into other countries and the neighboring countries were also helping by running vast inspections on all their border cities and towns, just in case the abductors were some how able to get over the border in another way.

She'd closed the ports and no ships were allowed to leave, the entire Russian shipping industry shut down and the country basically on a lock down from letting anyone leave. The moment she'd done it she'd felt another kick to the gut with the reminder to herself and everyone else, this was what it had been like under Soviet Rule, life behind the Iron Curtain.

Her country was sharing in her devastation and when the news broke, candle light vigils and weeping citizens flocked to churches to pray, hundreds now wait outside the gates of the palace just there to offer silent support. They were in shock to learn their beloved Tsarevicha and Grand Duchess Nadia had been stolen so cruelly from their parents, their family and from them. They were their futures as well and it angered them that people could destroy so many lives and a country, for money or greed.

Jack came back into the room after putting Nicholas down and pulled Irina from the chair, engulfing her in his arms and holding her tightly, both crying together fully for the first time and breaking down. He pulled them back to the bed, spooning up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. Neither would be sleeping they knew but they were exhausted, emotionally, and physically and in so much pain it was unbearable as they watched helplessly as the seconds of the clock ticked by counting down towards midnight. Irina pulled the stuffed creatures back up to her face again, looking them over and sobbing.

"She hasn't been one night without him since the last time." She inhaled another shaking breath with her face contorting into agony pulling the yellow bear into her chest and Jack moved his hand up to clutch it with her, both of their minds flashing back to the last time Lena had been abducted with Irina. How broken she was when they did get her back, how close they'd come to losing her then. "And Nadia has never slept a night without Mr. Brown since she was two." She sobbed curling the little dog against her face and breathing in her child's smell.

When her cell phone rang again at 11:47, they were still lying side by side in the dark in their room on their bed and once again, the Caller ID indicated it was Dubey.

"Irina," Dubey was the first to speak this time, not waiting for Irina to verbally answer and Irina's heart picked up in speed immediately at his tone and rapid speaking. "They suddenly pulled Lena from auction."

"What? Why?" Irina bolted upright in bed and Jack followed quickly behind hearing Dubey through her phone.

"I don't know. Maybe they're feeling too much heat and decided to pull back until things calm down." Dubey offered trying to sound optimistic for Irina's sake and fearing any other outcome about what it could mean. "It makes sense, Irina." He tried to convince her with logical reasoning and make this sudden change and new loss of contact with her child 'okay.' "With the border closures they'd have no way to get her out of Russia and to whomever won the bid. It makes sense they'd pull her now. It's good news, Irina. It is. It likely means that your girls are still inside Russia. You must be getting close to finding them."

When the call ended, Irina collapsed back onto the bed in wracking sobs. She knew this was not good news as Dubey had tried to convince her it was. What small connection they'd had was now gone and quite possibly, the pressure she'd put on the kidnappers by closing the borders and surrounding them, containing them within her country may have very well forced their hands into doing something even more drastic at feeling the pressure. Julian's words immediately drifting through her mind, _they will likely dispose of the girls immediately and cut their losses…_

"Oh God, Jack…I'll die without them." Irina felt her heart about to explode with the torrential grief pouring through her at losing her children.

* * *

"My God," The old farmer peered down from his bench on the horse drawn wagon in the early twilight of morning, his eyes bulging at the tiny little form curled into a ball asleep in his wheat. His eyes scanned the horizon with nothing but wheat for miles upon miles and wondered where she'd come from.

Carefully he got down from the wagon and knelt beside her while his horse stamped its feet impatiently. She was in a school uniform, but with no shoes and her tiny feet were bleeding around the mud caked and dried on them. Her tiny arm had a nasty bruise around the bicep and so did her face. His heart broke looking at her, realizing she couldn't be more then four or five years old and then it hit him, his trembling fingers reaching out to brush the long strands of hair away from her face to fully see her and he gasped. He'd seen the news reports on the missing children of the Tsar and now he realized, he'd just found one of them…the Tsarevicha, the future Tsar of his country.

With the gentle hands of a grandfather he scooped her up; she was so exhausted, she didn't stir and instead wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her little face in making him smile sadly. He settled himself on the bench, holding the sleeping child to his chest and shoulder with one hand and clicked his tongue, the cart jolted forward and he headed back to his farmhouse with wide eyes. His wife would be surprised to see what he'd found.

"Marie," He called out softly pushing through the wooden door of his small country home, not wanting to wake the sleeping tot in his arms. "Come see what I've found."

His wife gasped instantly upon entering the kitchen with tears in her eyes, "Is that-"

"The little Tsarevicha." He nodded softly, kissing Lena's little forehead when she stirred slightly with a smile. "She was asleep in the wheat. Curled up like a little lamb."

* * *

The phone rang on the FSB Director's desk and they all held their breath, springing up from their chairs when he did and daring not move.

"They found Lena!" He smiled slapping his phone shut.

"And Nadia?" Irina's heart skipped but she still held her breath and brows knit he'd only said Lena, not 'them.'

"Only Lena." He smiled softly shaking his head sadly. "Some farmer found her in the middle of a wheat field thirty miles from here. She's there now and that's all I know."

"A wheat field?" Jack gasped with confusion already on the move with Irina and the Director out the door to get their child.

* * *

"Where's my sister?" Nadia cried in the morning waking up to find Lena gone as well as most of her hair that was now very blonde. She was dressed in little boy's clothing and alone in a locked room with the little boy.

"She's gone." He shook his head sadly tying her shoes from where she sat on the edge of the single bed with legs dangling, "You won't see her again either."

"Why not?" Nadia gasped in almost hysteria, "I want my Mama!"

"This is your new family." He sat back on the floor looking up at her with sad eyes, "She's going to be your Mama now." He nodded towards the window where the couple were digging a hole to bury Lena's shoes, Nadia's clothes and the cut hair as well as their own clothing from the getaway and anything else they might be identified with now that they were on the move.

They couldn't take the chance Lena would be able to give descriptions if she somehow found her way to civilization. The border closures they'd heard about on the news had changed their plans of escaping with the children into Latvia and now were planning on boarding the Trans Siberian to take them deeper into Russia to hide out until the borders reopened. They also knew that the train station would be scoured by police and everyday citizens, on the lookout for the girls with their faces being flashed everywhere. Looking for four and five year old little girls with long brown hair not little blonde boys which, they intended to pass Nadia off as.

"She's not my mama!" Nadia wailed not wanting the mean lady to be her Mama.

"I know, but she will be…and he'll be your daddy." He put the hat on her head and zipped up her sweatshirt.

"No!" Nadia squealed tearing the hat off her head and crying, "He's not my daddy and I want my mama!"

"They're gone." He shook his head with sadness, "You won't remember them and she will be your Mama and he is your daddy." He looked again towards the window, "You won't remember your real mama or daddy."

"I don't want a new mama! I don't want a new daddy! I don't want a new family!" She shook her tiny head adamantly and sobbed.

* * *

The helicopter landed near the house in the middle of the wheat surrounding the entire little farm and Irina bolted from the seat the moment the skids touched down her feet flying across the ground in a run through the wheat and into the house.

"Lena!" She sighed with heaving shoulders and sobbed dropping to her knees once inside the door to see her little girl sitting on the old woman's lap.

The moment she'd come through the door Lena was flying out of the woman's arms and into her mother's.

"Mama!" She cried burying her face into her mother's neck while the two held each other on the floor of the kitchen as the older couple looked on with wide eyes of disbelief the Tsar had just literally come flying through the door and was now on her knees, crying and holding onto her daughter in their kitchen. Moments after the Emperor Consort followed by another man they'd seen on TV and knew as the FSB Director.

"You came for me!" Lena sounded so relieved with a hint of surprise and yet confidence to see her mother had indeed come for her, "She said you wouldn't come but I told her you promised you'd always find me!"

"I'll always come for you, My Love," Irina sobbed kissing her over and over knowing exactly how Lena had felt now and Jack then, when he'd come for her. The wanting to believe and having it confirmed when they had come to save you. "Always. I promise." She spoke softly into her little ear. "My Sweet Girl, let me look at you."

Irina cried pulling her back to inspect the damage and more tears fell from her eyes seeing the blood on her little bottom lip after it was split open and then reopened with Lena digging her face into her mother's neck. The bruise across her soft cheek was distinctly in the shape of the back of fingers and the ones on her jaw with fingerprints. Her tiny arm once again held vicious bruises of rough hands and her teeny feet were still covered with blood and mud.

"What did they do to you, Sweetheart?" She gasped more to herself then a question for Lena, "Where's your sister? Sweetheart, where's Nadia?"

The image of her lifeless sister flashed through Lena's mind when she tried to wake her up and then biting the mean lady who'd hit her; the bright red blood and a violent tremble coursed through her before throwing herself desperately at her mother again and sobbing uncontrollably.

Her little arms were wrapped so tightly around Irina's neck she almost couldn't breathe and her panic rose feeling her daughter shaking so violently in her arms with the question of where her sister was.

"Lena, its okay baby, Mama's got you and I'm not going to let anybody hurt you, okay? _Shhh_, Snuggle Bug, it's okay. Mama's here." She tried to soothe her, holding her close and running her hand down the back of Lena's head but the little girl would not be calmed. She looked helplessly over her shoulder to Jack now standing before her and she was certain her eyes revealed the terror still sweeping her heart even more so now, that Nadia was alone with the vicious people who'd harmed their child and had her shaking so desperately.

It was clear Lena was in shock and not about to talk clinging so desperately to Irina's neck so Jack wheeled to the older couple hoping for some answers he couldn't get from his child.

"You said you found her in a field?" He asked rapidly with nothing but 'thanks' laced through his panic at the man for his find, "Where?"

"Not far from here. But I have no idea where she could have come from or how she could have gotten there." The older man shook his head sadly and still in disbelief this was happening, looking at the Tsar holding her crying child in his kitchen. "There are only miles upon miles of wheat fields around. I only happened upon her sleeping by chance. I almost never go that far into the field when checking my crops but something told me to go further this morning."

"I'm going to take her outside," Irina spoke softly through her tears realizing Lena was only winding up more instead of down with her wailing and shaking and wanted to try to calm her down without the chaos around them.

Jack nodded seeing her tactic and a mutual agreement was made in their gaze that she would try to calm Lena and get her to talk and he would ask the questions to those who had found her.

She began walking around the little front lawn of the farm, humming softly to Lena The Russian Lullaby and running soothing circles over her little back.

"Has she said anything at all to you?" Jack took a seat at the table they were sitting at with the FSB director standing nervously in the doorway keeping one eye on Tsar and her baby and the other on Jack.

"Only to cry out for her Mama and Daddy." The older woman gave Jack a small smile, "She was absolutely terrified when she awoke laying in our bed and I was able to get her to calm down some by humming the old Russian Lullaby." Her smiled widened some, "And I told her that her Mama and Daddy were on their way to get her and that she needn't be afraid of us, we weren't going to harm her. We loved her. She was their little Tsarevicha after all. I finally got her to let me hold her and come out of the corner when I asked if she wanted to come and sit with me in the kitchen to wait for you to get here. That if I counted to one hundred, I bet that you'd be here before we got that high knowing her Mama and Daddy." Her smile grew thinking about her impressive Imperial Family and what she knew they were capable of. "She stayed silent while I counted and we got to ninety-two before the Tsar came through the door."

"I can't thank you enough for finding her." Jack reached across the table and grasped both of their hands, "If you hear anything else or see anything-" He was desperate to find his youngest.

"We'll call immediately." The old man assured him with a smile, "We'll continue to pray that you find the Grand Duchess."

"Perhaps, you will get the Tsarevicha to speak more if she feels like she's safe and home." The older woman smiled with years of experience as a mother and grandmother, "Amongst familiar objects and people."

"I'm hoping your right," Jack stood, "She's the only lead to finding her sister."

"We'll be in contact." The FSB director shook their hands again after Jack and headed out.

* * *

Lena continued to cry the short flight back to the palace in Irina's arms, her wailing had turned to hiccupping sobs every so often with her exhaustion.

When they walked through the front door, Sydney all but launched herself off the sitting room couch where they were waiting anxiously by the door for their return. She engulfed her mother and sister with Lena sandwiched in between holding them both and crying in relief of finding Lena and anguish Nadia wasn't with them.

Irina took her upstairs alone, knowing time was of the essence and hoping that she'd be able to get something out of Lena if her daughter felt safe and calm. She knew Lena needed to see a doctor and was thankful when Marcelo with Jack poked their heads into the bathroom minutes later where she was sitting with her on the rug beside a warm bubbly bath, trying to ease her into it.

"Snuggle Bug, Uncle Marcelo wants to look at your ouchies, okay?" Irina kissed the top of her head where Lena still had her face buried into her mother's neck. "He's going to make them feel better. Can you let us see your beautiful face?" She tried to cajole her into turning her head, "Please Sweetie, Mama wants to kiss your ow-wy and make it better." Her eyes filled with constant tears.

Lena was still shaking and hiccupped after crying for so long but did as her mother asked and pulled back just enough to look up at Irina.

"That's my girl," Irina smiled down at her and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, the tip of her nose and gently to her bruised cheek, avoiding the lip that was split and bleeding again. "Does your lip hurt?" Irina asked starting with the obvious questions hoping to get her to start talking.

"Yes," Lena nodded with a thick voice on the verge of new tears, "And my cheek too, Mama. The mean lady hit me." She sobbed. "And she hurt my arm too."

"Shhh, Sweetheart," Irina tried to calm her and keep her from getting hysterical again, though she felt like doing the same hearing about the 'mean lady' hurting her baby. "It's okay now, Mama's not going to let her hurt you."

"She hit me, Mama…" Lena looked up at her with tears rolling from her eyes where Irina cradled her in her arms and kept her distracted with questioning while Marcelo began checking her over.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Irina gasped softly with a held back sob and Jack came to sit behind her, wrapping his arms around them both.

"Did she hit Nadia, too?" She braved asking about her youngest again, hoping it wouldn't set Lena off again.

"No, she only hit me. She said Nadia was a good girl but that I was a naughty one." Lena cried and Irina pulled her to stand, slowly undressing with tear filled eyes locked on to Lena's dark gorgeous ones still echoing the fear.

"I bit her, Mama!" Lena wailed when Irina pulled her school jumper down her little body to give Marcelo full view and check for other injuries. "I know it's naughty to bite but she was hurting me Mama," She cried fearing punishment for biting and knowing that was something she was never supposed to do. "I bit her hand so hard I made her have a bad ouchie, Mama, she was bleeding!" Her little body shook violently with a large tremor and Irina pulled her into her arms again to hold and soothe her.

"It's okay, Sweetheart," Irina kissed her repeatedly, "We're not mad at you for biting the mean lady."

"I ran, Mama, really fast like you and Nee-Nee told me to if someone was hurting me." She hiccupped pulling back and eager now to tell her Mama and Daddy what happened.

"That's a good girl." Jack cupped her face with his eyes darting to the blood on her tiny lip, disgusted someone could hit her perfect little face. "You did a good job, Peanut. That was very good of you to run away."

"I ran a long time, Daddy. But it was dark and I was scared...not of the dark…but of the mean lady," She cried, "I tried to get Nadia awake to run but she wouldn't wake up, Mama, she wouldn't wake up and the mean lady hit me again!" Her little voice trembled and tears ran down her cheeks cupped in her mother's soft hands with thumbs brushing them away.

"Nadia wouldn't wake up?" Irina asked with heart breaking and pounding rapidly in her chest to hear Lena couldn't wake her.

"I tried, Mama, I tried to get her to run with me from the mean lady and man but she wouldn't wake up! I pulled on her arm and was really loud but she just laid on the floor, I tried, Mama!" Her little grief and guilt for leaving her little sister behind with the bad people scared her and made her sob again, "They said you were gone Mama! And that we'd never see you or Daddy, or Nee-Nee or Ju-Ju again. I was so scared Mama."

She wrapped her little arms around Irina's neck again while her mother held her with tears dripping into Lena's hair.

"I'm right here, Lena. Daddy and I love you very much and we'll always come for you," She kissed her head and rocked her gently.

The images of Nadia on the floor and 'not waking up', and the possible reasons 'why' choked Irina with fear and panic that they'd done something to her child.

"The mean lady said she was going to sell me for lots of money and keep Nadia because she was the good girl and I was a brat. What's a brat, Daddy?" She looked up at him over Irina's shoulder knowing her Daddy knew all kinds of words. "It didn't sound very nice."

Jack and Irina could hardly breathe hearing her say she was indeed going to be sold and the monsters were planning on keeping Nadia which would explain why she was never offered on the Market.

"You're not a brat, Sweetheart. You're a good girl, a brave girl and Daddy and Mama are so proud of you. You did a good job, Peanut." Jack smiled at her wiping his own tears and kissing her little forehead.

"Snuggle Bug," Irina pulled her back with a deep breath and intent eyes, "Do you remember what the house looked like where the mean lady and man were keeping you?"

"No." Lena shook her tiny head while Marcelo looked over her arm, fingering it carefully and moving it gently to see if it was broken again.

"Okay," Irina nodded trying again, "Do you remember what the outside looked like?"

"There was a barn. I heard a cow mooing." Lena hiccupped and reached out to place her hand against Irina's neck standing before her, holding on in some way while her uncle looked her over. "And there was a lot of wheat." She'd learned all about wheat and what it was for from her Mama. "That's how I got away from the mean man. He was chasing me in the wheat. But I was small and he couldn't find me." She gave a tiny smile with her cracked and quivering lips shaking her head. "You told me not to hide when people are calling my name, Mama…but they were mean and they hurt me…and you told me to run from people who hurt me!"

She was confused as those instructions collided in this situation.

"No, Lena! That's good! Mama is happy you hid and ran from the people who hurt you! I'm not upset, Sweetheart," She kissed her little lip gently and avoiding the split, "Good, Lena! That's good what you did." Irina was getting excited that they were getting somewhere, "You heard a cow? Did you hear anything else? What other sounds did you hear?"

"I heard a train. A really loud train." She answered with raising voice and wide eyes accentuating 'loud' to show just how loud.

"Good, Lena!" Irina's heart was pounding now. Loud trains meant close trains and there was only one track that ran near where they'd found her. "What else Snuggle Bug?"

"It smelled like bread. Like at Babushka Talia's house when she made her yummy bread when we went to visit before she died and went to Heaven." Lena's eyes lit with excitement seeing it reflected in her parents eyes the more she remembered.

"It smelled like bread?" Irina asked to confirm this curious clue that held many possibilities. "Did you eat fresh bread?"

"No," Lena shook her head, "The mean lady didn't make bread. She made only stew. I wouldn't eat it, Mama. And she hit me and put the spoon in my mouth and it hurt…because she wouldn't let me open my mouth until I swallowed."

"I know, baby and I'm sorry she hurt you." Irina blinked and new tears fell cupping her little bruised face. "We won't let her hurt you again." She kissed her again, "You said she didn't make bread but smelled like bread?" She asked again trying to wade through these details and Lena's innocence at only five years old.

"Yes. It smelled like bread. Even outside. When I was running away." Lena nodded her head yes.

"There's a bread factory about seven miles from the farm we found her." Irina's head turned and eyes flashed back to Jack's…the distance was alarming but her daughter was a runner… If that scared, she could have run that far, "There's train tracks running right by there." Her heart was surging with hope.

"Lena, Daddy and I have to go get Nadia-" She barely had out before her daughter started to wail and cling to her.

"No, Mama! Don't leave me! Daddy stay!" She clung to Irina reached her arm out to her father, grasping at his finger with her tiny hand.

"We'll come back, I promise Snuggle Bug, but we have to go now, we have to find your sister." Irina kissed her head with raining tears that yet again her little girl had been traumatized and now afraid she'd leave and be gone forever, a fear only expounded on by the evil bastards who'd stolen her, telling Lena her mother was gone forever. "You want us to go get Nadia right? So we have to go now Bug, but I promise we'll come back and you'll be safe here with Aunt Katya, and Uncle Marcelo and your brother and nieces and nephews…your cousins. I promise we're not going to leave you alone. Okay? We'll come back, I promise Snuggle Bug. I love you and Daddy loves you. We'll come back, I promise."

Lena had lessened her crying only marginally when Irina pulled back and Marcelo picked her up to hold her.

"How much do I love you?" Irina asked with a smile and tears in her eyes, kissing Lena's little hands in her own.

"To the moon and back," Lena sniffled and hiccupped, "More than stars in the Heavens…"

"And?" Irina smiled prompting her and wiping at the falling tears.

"Grains of sand on Earth." Lena continued wrapping her one arm around her Uncle's neck and rubbing her itchy eyes with the other.

"Forever and always." Irina finished kissing her repeatedly on the naked spot on her neck and then cheek. "I'll come back, I promise. Mama would never leave you forever." She wiped at the tears burning her own eyes.

"Daddy too?" She asked with a quivering voice and looking back at her father.

"Of course, Daddy, too." Jack kissed his daughter's little head and neck in the same way, "I love you, Peanut forever and always and I promise Daddy isn't leaving you forever, either. We're going to find your sister and come right home. I love you so much."

* * *

**_*47 in St. Petersburg*_**

When Irina strode out of the bathroom and into her room, her tears of relief had already dried and been replaced with a black rage. Jack followed out just behind her and watched as she went straight into her enormous walk in closet, stripping her clothes off rapidly and with edgy movements.

She pulled on the black pants and reached for black form fitting Kevlar vest that she wore under her clothes and strapped it on. Jack was watching her the entire time while rapidly changing himself. He'd never seen her movements so precise or felt the waves of rage flowing from her since they went after Sloane years ago, going into battle and today they were doing the same.

Irina walked towards him pulling on the slim leather jacket that would go over her vest and zipped it up, pulling on her boots beside him on the bed while he did the same. When they hit the bottom of the stairs Sydney, Michael, Julian and Eric were already waiting suited up in the black they hadn't worn in years; hearing from Marcelo they'd gotten a lead from Lena and were clearly going after her.

Irina said nothing but nodded her thanks and acceptance they were coming when she passed on her way into her den and they followed bewildered. She pulled out _War and Peace_ from the bookshelf and flipped to the middle of the book, removed a paper-thin remote control and punched a series of numbers. The wall suddenly split in two and slid back while everyone watched with gapping mouths and wide eyes when it revealed an enormous secret room with an extensive array of weaponry and gadgets.

"Holy-shit! I had no idea that was there." Weiss gasped following Irina inside and immediately grabbing the gun from the air she tossed at him.

"Neither did I." Jack grabbed his own from the air, holding his eyes with his wife in shock.

"I haven't had to use it in a long time." Irina answered the unasked question of why she'd never revealed it before in a low voice while continuing to toss various sized weapons at them and Jack started passing out ammunition.

"Rina!" Katya came flying into the den and stopped dead in her tracks to see them all in black standing in a secret ammunitions room. "You can't go after them!" Tears immediately in her eyes with worry, "Let your agents go in…Irina!" She called out again while Irina continued to grab repelling ropes and several other items they may need stuffing them into a backpack. "You made a promise to God!" She called out desperately trying to stop her sister, sick with worry at losing her or any of them again and recalling the promise her sister had made at the Coronation when she left this life behind her.

"They took my children, Katya." Irina's eyes flashed up to her sister's when she walked out of the room ready to go and grasped Katya's shoulders looking her straight in the eye. "I'm getting my daughter back and when I do, I plan on making a vivid example out of those who dare take them." She kissed Katya's cheek tasting her tears, "Will you please go hold my child," She nodded upstairs to where Lena was, "And reassure her, that Mama and Daddy are coming back."

Katya nodded solemnly, desperately hugging Irina and then each quickly as they passed.

"Daddy? Mama?" Nicholas ran out from his playroom, his little eyes going wide to see them all dressed in black and the big guns in their hands. "Where are you going?"

Irina slung the weapon behind her back and away from him as she knelt down and he ran into her arms, "We're going to get your sister back, Sweetheart." She held his little face in her hands and Jack knelt beside her to address him.

The rage that had been in her eyes had been temporarily pushed away to show nothing but loving eyes to her son. She'd never wanted her children to see her like this. This was a life that was supposed to be in the past.

Jack saw his son's eyes keep flashing to the guns with a hint of fear.

"But you have guns," Nicholas's lip quivered, "You said guns are dangerous and we weren't to touch them." He remembered his warning about not touching his bodyguard's gun or anyone else's on the security detail. "But you have guns."

"Yes," Jack nodded answering honestly, "Remember what we told you about why the security detail and bodyguards wear guns?"

"To protect us from bad people who might want to hurt us." Nicholas answered squeezing his mother's fingers he held in his little hand, shuffling around on his feet before her and looking at his father.

"That's right. We're taking them with us to protect us and your sister from bad people who might want to hurt us, okay?" Jack asked and then kissed his head while his son nodded. "I love you Cowboy. Will you be a good brother and be very nice to your sister? She's been scared and would probably love a hug and kiss from you."

"I'll take care of her, Daddy." Nicholas smiled with pride; "I'll make her laugh by telling her my new jokes from Uncle Eric." He turned his little dark eyes to his funny Uncle who was smiling at him.

"Wait!" He suddenly yelled out and then ran out of Irina's arms and up the stairs as fast as he could with everyone watching his little body moving. He went into their bedroom and came running down the stairs moments later with Mr. Brown clutched in his hand.

"This will make Nadia feel better." He handed the object to his mother with a raging smile and Irina scooped him up, kissing him repeatedly and then handing him to Jack who did the same.

"Thank you, Sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth, forever and always, Nicholas." Irina kissed his cheek one last time with a smile before Jack set him down. She unzipped her jacket just enough to slide Mr. Brown down the front and Jack had to smile seeing the little stuffed dog's face sticking out from his wife's lethal looking leather.

**_*At the Farm House*_**

The moment he'd returned to the playroom and they were on their way, the cold black rage slid over her eyes once more with determination to find her daughter.

They boarded the larger helicopter with sides open as they sat on its edges so they could scan the landscape and held on when it lifted off. Another team of agents from the Russian Elite services followed behind them as they flew back towards the wheat fields and bread factory. Hoping it to be the right location based on Lena's account of what she could remember.

They circled the golden fields of wheat looking for anything, spanning out from the bread factory and heading west towards where they'd found Lena. Two miles west from the bread factory and following the train tracks they spotted a small farmhouse with a singular barn; five miles from where Lena had been found. A small pen was holding a singular cow and calf and the entire property was surrounded by wheat save the tiny dirt lane weaving through it to the road far away.

"That's got to be it." Jack nodded towards Irina and signaled the pilot to land.

The wheat lay down completely flat in a large circle around them from the powerful blades and everyone jumped with weapons ready and on alert. They split up and covered the area with speed and agility relying on old instincts easily recalled before bursting into the house.

"It's empty." Jack sighed with heavy breathing and pounding heart, "But someone was just here."

"Mom," Sydney was kneeling on the floor by the fireplace and picked up a silver locket, Nadia's silver locket and the one Irina had given her when she started school. She flipped open, the tiny jewelry and held back a sob to see her sister's tiny picture with her mother.

"It's Nadia's." She stood when her mother moved rapidly beside her.

"There's a fresh hole dug in the back," The team leader from the Elite services announced quietly quickly coming into the room. "The grass is burnt around it." He swallowed hard, knowing what that usually meant. Someone had tried to get rid of a body by burning it and burying it.

Irina knew what that usually meant as well and all the color drained from her face, "No," She gasped and clutched the little metal locket in her hand tightly running out of the house and to the back, seeing the fresh dirt and hearing Lena's words ringing in her ears that Nadia wouldn't wake up.

"No!" She dove onto her knees into the dirt and started clawing frantically at it with heart pounding and blood rushing in her ears. She didn't feel the disconnect from Nadia, and she couldn't believe it could be true as she pawed frantically and suddenly, Jack, Sydney, Vaughn, Julian and Weiss were right beside her, all pawing viciously at the Earth to uncover what secrets they had buried.

When Julian's fingers uncovered the hem of a tiny school uniform both Sydney and Irina failed to hold back anguished sobs that only had them digging more frantically. Weiss plucked out a tiny shoe burnt and partially melted and Jack grabbed it instantly, his heart clenching and breathing rapidly looking at it before Irina pulled it away from him.

"It's Lena's," She gasped holding the tiny thing against her hand and seeing where it stopped, "Nadia's is smaller."

The thought gave them a new surge of hope as they continued to dig and pull at the hem of the dress until it pulled completely clear from the dirt. A great majority of it was burnt and only a fragment remained.

"Oh God," Vaughn gasped with a hand full of dirt he just pulled clean from the hole now arm length deep. It was a lock of brown hair, still formed in a curl and burnt on one end.

Irina could only gape at it for one second before throwing all her efforts into digging furiously deeper and deeper praying to God over and over she didn't uncover her child's burnt body and having flashes of unearthing her mother and seeing her body in the shallow grave.

Another shoe and then another, Lena's locket and the remnants of adult clothes they had never seen were found in their furious digging but no body.

**_*Nach Deutschland*_**

"I think they just tried to burn the evidence…" Jack wiped his sweaty brow and stained his forehead with the dirt covering his arms staring at the pile of things they'd uncovered and the hole now three feet deep, "That they were here." He sighed and looked around. "They had to have just left."

"But why is her hair in here! And burnt!" Sydney held up the lock of hair with tears in her eyes.

"I don't' know." Jack shook his head sadly.

"There's a train station we flew over," Irina jumped to her feet, grabbing both girl's tiny lockets from the pile and slipping them into her pocket as she charged back towards the helicopters. "I've closed the borders but not the main train lines. That station leads into Siberia. There's a train that leaves at three…." She glanced at the sun.

"It's past three now!" Julian looked at his watch as they all scrambled aboard and the blades came to life again.

"Then we'll have to catch it." Irina grabbed her backpack and pulled out her repelling gear.

Less then five minutes later they had caught up with the train speeding towards the Urals and Siberia and Irina, Jack and Julian were precariously balanced standing on one skid, while Vaughn, Sydney and Weiss were on the other side. They were hovering over the last passenger car while the other helicopter sped up to the first. They would split into four teams being dropped at the back of the train, the front and in the middle and each team would work towards the other.

Irina nodded at Jack with determined eyes before she, Julian and Vaughn jumped back and repelled down the thin black lines towards the speeding train below. The helicopter managed to swing Irina onto roof of the back of the train and she released and slid down first onto the landing. Her arm reaching up to grab Vaughn coming in right behind her the same way and she guided him in before they both grabbed at Julian and pulled him in as well. When those three had been cleared, their helicopter moved on and dropped Sydney, Jack and Weiss the same way into the middle of the cars.

With Irina leading the way, the three charged through the back door with guns trained on everyone who immediately gasped and screamed seeing the three in black and heavily armed and then realizing who they were, astounded.

**_*A Saturday in My Classroom*_**

"I'm looking for my daughter," Irina announced having everyone's wide-eyed attention, "And I know she's on this train."

She walked up the aisle's scanning faces, and people with Michael and Julian doing the same behind her watching the exits.

"Has anyone seen her?" She asked with a commanding voice and received immediate head shakes of 'no.' "Then please stay seated and remain calm."

She moved forward having checked and double-checked the car with Julian and Michael.

"Your Majesty," A young woman braved reaching out and touched Irina's passing arm, pulling it back immediately with wide eyes realizing she touched the lethal Tsar they all loved, "I'm sorry but…you said daughter? I thought both little ones had been taken?"

"We found Lena." Irina gave her a small smile and nod, seeing the concern in the young woman's eyes, "But Nadia's still missing. We know she's on this train." She looked up again, knowing that most of these people were innocent of any wrong doing and loved her children, she didn't want harm coming to them either, "Please do as I say, and stay seated."

They moved forward, car after car and found nothing, when they entered the fourth car, the woman holding the sleeping little 'boy' against her chest with a hat covering his blonde head nudged her husband with breathing already picking up. The Tsar was actually standing before them with intent black eyes, dressed in black and heavily armed. This was a side of her they'd only seen in films years ago. The reality sent a chill racing down her spine.

Irina walked right towards the small family with two little boys, and stopped turning her back to them and the couple gulped with her so near they could smell the dirt covering her arms; she'd been digging, probably in their backyard.

"I'm looking for my daughter," Irina announced again having everyone's attention, "And I know she's on this train." She walked up the aisle again, scanning faces, and people with Michael and Julian blocking each exit. "Has anyone seen her?"

No one said anything again, only shook their heads and Irina called out in desperation, "Nadia?" She pivoted and turned back down the aisle, "Doodle Bug, it's Mama. It's okay." She called out again and it broke the people's hearts, most with tears forming in their eyes seeing the anguished mother on a mission and the heartbreak behind the rage in her gorgeous eyes. Her eyes flitted back to the family of four she'd stopped near the first time and looked at the face of the little blonde boy with blue eyes about five or six years old, staring at her and then quickly to the floor.

Her attention was drawn to him and she couldn't explain why and slowly she walked forward a step, her eyes still scanning the packed car, even as they took in the father sitting beside him, doing the same, staring at the floor. Something wasn't right. Everyone else was looking at her with captive attention held.

The little boy's eyes glanced up again and locked onto hers for a long moment and then, shifted to the right slowly and then back to Irina, locking her gaze again and then shifting his eyes to the right. Irina followed where his eyes were pointing and saw the back of the head of his mother, facing away from her. As she walked another step closer she saw the little boy, again motioning her with his eyes dramatically to take notice of his mother for some reason.

Irina looked down at the woman holding the sleeping little boy to her chest. His face had been turned away from her towards the window and she could see very short blonde curls sticking out form beneath his hat.

Her heart almost leapt from her chest when her eyes landed on the mother's hand wrapped in a white bandage. The blood from the wound to that hand seeped through, forming a perfect little moon shape crescent in red over the white and Lena's words about biting the 'mean lady' came rushing back to her.

The woman was also staring away and Irina moved her gun away, not wanting to point it at her own child she knew with all her heart now was Nadia being so near her.

"Nadia," She called out again, staring directly at the still little form and grasped her tiny hand, recognizing it immediately and Vaughn and Julian slowly flanked her sides hearing her call this child Nadia. Irina flipped the hat off to reveal short blonde curly hair and the woman moved to hold onto Nadia more tightly.

**_*The Devil Inside*_**

"Don't move!" Julian and Vaughn both immediately had guns trained on the woman.

Irina slung her gun back and extracted the sleeping limp child, gasping and tears immediately flooding her eyes when she turned her around and saw Nadia's sweet little face.

"Oh baby," She held her tightly, with falling tears and everyone around them gasped in disbelief. Julian and Vaughn too were wide eyed in shock that Irina had found her and what Nadia looked like. Her hair cut short and dyed blonde, her clothes as a little boy, her alias done so well they would have never suspected.

Jack, Sydney and Weiss had just come through the front of the car and stopped cold in shock to see Irina cradling a blonde little boy, kissing his sleeping face and then realizing it was actually Nadia.

"It's her?" Jack quickly stepped forward, "You found her…" He sighed in relief with pounding heart making his way towards his wife and their child.

The man and woman shared a quick glance knowing they were in serious trouble and used the distraction of 'shared relief' among the parents and rescuers to make their desperate move. The man's hand was still in his jacket and aimed and fired just as Irina was turning to hand Jack, Nadia.

Everyone screamed in terror with the sound of the blast and watching Irina spin around from where she'd been hit directly in the middle of her chest and start falling with the shift in her weight holding Nadia.

_"Mom!"_ Sydney screamed and lunged forward while Jack's raged filled eyes flew to the man and shot him in the shoulder and the hand still in the smoking pocket.


	43. Chapter 43

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Why Do We Fall? **_**by Hans Zimmer The Dark Knight Rises Soundtrack,**_** Raude**_** by Black Rose**_**, The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer from True Romance Soundtrack**_**, Somewhere Over the Rainbow **_**by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole**

* * *

FORTY-THREE

o

"I'm okay, it hit the vest." Irina gasped feeling the biting bruise already forming from the close range fire and immediately scanned her baby girl in her arms to make sure she wasn't hit, taking note that Nadia hadn't even stirred.

"Don't. Move." Jack commanded with gun trained on the man's head and the others kept their weapons trained as well.

"What did you give her?" Irina carefully passed Nadia to Sydney and eyes locked in on the woman, staring at the floor and still refusing to look at Irina. The man doing the same and the little boy beside them, shaking in fear with tears streaming down his cheeks and wide eyes as he looked at Irina, and the hole in her jacket having been shot but was still standing. He didn't understand why she wasn't bleeding to death or dead. People who got shot with guns, died.

Irina saw his face and pulled him up by the arm, pushing him over towards Julian and out of harms way.

"I asked you what you gave my daughter?" Irina screamed and slugged the woman across the jaw, whipping her head around and making everyone gasp on the train to see their Tsar in this 'lethal mode.' "_Answer me!_" She grabbed the woman by the neck and held her fist above her.

"A tranquilizer." The woman spat with clear venom and hatred for Irina in her eyes, "She'll be fine in four hours."

"That's more than you'll be," Irina backhanded her viciously and split the woman's lip again, blood now trailing from her nose. "You hit my child, I hit you." She grabbed the woman by the neck and pulled her up staring her in the eyes while slowly, she began to squeeze the life out of the woman, Irina's face only centimeters from hers, "You steal my children and I take your life."

"Mom…" Sydney called out softly with tears raining down her face, holding her little sister tightly and wanting to take the life of the people who had taken her from them and understanding why her mother did in this moment; but she also didn't want her mother to break her vow. To break the new life they'd begun and the promise she'd made to herself. Especially with the people of her country who believed in her so much, watching as she took someone's life.

Irina's eyes were coal black staring into the woman's watching her pupils begin to change and slammed her forehead into hers, knocking her out and then letting her drop back unconscious into her seat.

"You're not worth it." She hissed at the woman just as Jack slammed the back of his elbow into the face of the man and then rammed his head into the side of the train car knocking him out as well. They might not be able to kill, but doing a little maiming was certainly justified in his eyes.

Jack, Vaughn, and Weiss began to secure the kidnappers while the train came to a stop and Julian continued to stand by the little boy, standing still as stone and looking at the unconscious parents before him. Irina was running her hand over Nadia's forehead while Sydney cradled her in her arms and pressed a kiss to the tiny space just above one eyebrow before taking her from Sydney.

The Special Forces team flew the unconscious prisoners back to St. Petersburg while the others, flew with Nadia and the boy straight to the hospital.

* * *

"She'll be okay, Child," Alexei smiled leaning over to kiss Nadia's little head where she lay in the hospital bed looking so very small. "The effects of the drugs should wear off in another couple of hours."

Irina was sitting beside her on the bed, holding her tiny hand and caressing her daughter's fingers. Her worry ceasing to exist until she saw Nadia's eyes open and look up at her with her beautiful little smile.

"And the little boy?" Irina's mind went to the little boy responsible for them finding Nadia the one whose eyes had pointed in the right direction, not on accident but on purpose, turning on his own parents to give her back her daughter.

"He's in a state of shock," Alexei shook his head sadly, "Poor little guy. He hasn't said a thing. I can only imagine what kind of life he's led with kidnappers as parents."

"Where is he?" She asked realizing he couldn't be that much older then Lena and probably terrified to be alone in a hospital room without his parents. It wasn't his fault his parents were evil greedy beings and she felt a massive sense of gratitude to the little guy.

"In the room across the hall. The nurses are trying to get him to eat something." Alexei brushed his hand once more over Nadia's hair shaking his head once more that someone was capable of such thing, stealing a child, "He won't eat though. Just keeps staring at the door."

"I'll go talk to him. I'm the one who scared him. I attacked his mother after all." She shook her head with sadness, pressing her lips in a lingering kiss to Nadia's forehead and then her perfect little lips. "I'll be right back My Littlest Love, right back. Mama promises." She whispered and then kissed her again before removing the stuffed dog from her jacket now wedged down there. When she pulled Mr. Brown free, he had a hole from the bullet that had hit her vest, going straight through him and exposing his fluff. The spots of red blood on the fake dog immediately grabbed all of their' attention as there was no way he could be bleeding.

_"Irina!"_ Alexei's voice rose, with his own arched eyebrows watching her tuck the dog under her daughter's arm, "You were hit?" He looked at the hole through her jacket he hadn't noticed before, "Sit!" He commanded her to sit on the end of the bed and everyone else in the room snickered. Only Alexei could get away with ordering the Tsar around and scolding her like his child when he found she'd kept something from him.

"It's nothing, Alexei." Irina sighed with a smile doing as he said and sat, removing her jacket and handing it to Jack who was also giving her a stern and concerned eyebrow, everyone's eyes now on the shiny sliver bullet now wedged over her heart in the vest.

"It was stopped by the vest. See." 'Barely,' She thought as she fingered the metal still warm to the touch and feeling the same heat against the skin of her chest where it had gone through.

_"Off!"_ He commanded with a wave of his fingers, snapping on a new, latex glove and the nurses began to help Irina remove the light Kevlar. When they did, and she was sitting before them all in just her black bra and pants most gasped softly and shook their heads knowing how much that had to hurt when they saw the very large deep angry black and purple bruise already forming over most of her chest and sternum.

Blood, fresh and dried ran in a small trickle down her center from where one of the wires holding her ribs together had pierced through the skin with the rough contact of the bullet hitting the vest and a small partial burn from where the bullet came through and stopped just short of piercing her skin.

"I'm fine. Really." Irina smiled at him touching the tender skin slightly, "I have my girls back and that's all that matters."

"I still want you to have a chest x-ray." He touched the area lightly with knit eyebrows, "And we have to cover this." His finger lightly probed the protruding metal making the others nauseous. "We'll have to make a small incision and pull the skin over it."

"Fine. But it will have to wait until after I've seen the boy." Irina began to reach for her jacket again and it was Jack's hand that ceased her movements with concern in his, eyes hating the sight of her blood. "I'm fine, Jack. It can't wait. He hasn't eaten and he's scared to death." Her voice was soft and covered his hand with her own. The mother in her was hard to argue with at times and he knew she thought of all Russia's children as her own.

"Okay," Jack nodded, "But you're not putting that thing back on as its covered in dirt and you have an open wound." He threw the jacket behind him on the chair, "Alexei, can we at least cover it for now and get her a different shirt?"

"Certainly." Alexei nodded to one of his nurses who left to grab a scrub top and another grabbed gauze and supplies to clean and cover the wound.

"What are you snickering at?" Irina asked Weiss with a smile when she slid the scrub top over her head.

"I just never thought I'd see you wearing a '_If You Give a Mouse a Cookie_' shirt." Weiss laughed looking at the top Irina had on now covered in cookies, crumbles and little mice in overalls from the book. They were on the Children's Floor after all but the sight of Irina in such an animated Child's shirt seemed hysterical. They all laughed, and it was good to laugh after the last 48 hours of hell.

"You come right back here, and I'll fix this." Alexei gave her stern look and pointed finger looking at her over the rims of his glasses. "I don't want to leave it exposed for very long where you can get infections so close to your heart."

"I promise to come right back, doctor." She saluted him with a smile making them laugh more

"Anyone else like to get cleaned up?" The nurse smiled walking in with a fresh stack of scrubs, "We've got _Barney_, some _Dora the Explorer_, _Where The Wild Things_ are-"

"Oh that's mine!" Weiss smiled snatching the top with the colorful monsters and the little boy from the favorite book.

"_Nemo, Big Bird _and_ Cookie Monster_-"

"Oh Syd's got to be wearing Cookie Monster!" Vaughn laughed with his mind flashing back so many years as it always did to the crumbled picture with the mentioning of the blue character.

"I don't know, I was thinking Jack should be wearing the Cookie Monster since the Empress is wearing the cookie print and all," Weiss laughed and the others did as well with Jack shaking his head trying to hold back a grin.

Jack picked up her discarded vest and looked at the bullet lodged in the front and turned it inside out, seeing for the first time how close the bullet had come to going all the way through. Only a piece of fabric thread from the lining remained covering a sliver of the bullet while the rest just looked like a peg in hole. His face drained of color when he touched it and felt the heat…the vest had literally only stopped it 'just' before entering her chest. The close range at which she was shot giving it just what it needed to 'almost' make it through.

Another miracle…he thought looking at the bullet that had come so close to taking his wife's life yet again and said a prayer of thanks to her guardian angels.

"Hello," Irina smiled sweetly opening the door to the little boy's room and sliding inside. She walked up to his bed where he was sitting with knees pulled up to his chest and arms around them, hugging tightly and tears began to pool in his eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of me." She spoke softly in her motherly tone and sat on the edge of the bed.

His little hand reached out and touched her face gently and then snapped back, "He shot you…and you didn't die. You didn't bleed. But I know that guns make you dead. Why are you not dead?" He asked in shaking little voice and his question startled Irina. She wondered how many times this child had seen a gun, seen someone shot and 'bleed' to know about death and ask these questions.

"I was wearing a special vest under my jacket. It was very strong and protected me from the gun when he shot me." She kept trying to hold his eyes and smiled softly.

"Can I see it?" He asked with a little more enthusiasm in his voice.

"See what?" Irina asked with a slanted eyebrow and smile, glad she was engaging him and his fear seemed to be dissipating.

"The special vest that stopped the bullet. It must be magical." He nodded so seriously with conviction Irina couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped from her lips.

"It is very magical." She agreed with a smile. "I'll show it to you if you want."

He nodded and then grew silent again before speaking.

"You are Nadia's real Mama?" He asked with big blue eyes looking up at her and reminding her so much of Julian at the same age; the same loss of innocence in his eyes.

"Yes, I'm Nadia's Mama." Irina smiled softly nodding her head yes.

"And Lena's Mama, too?" He asked cautiously with hesitation and Irina swallowed hard with a slanted eyebrow looking at him intently, wondering what he'd known and seen.

"Yes, I'm Lena's Mama, too." She nodded, "Did you see Lena last night?"

"Yes, I told her to go. The door was open and I told her to go." He answered softly.

"You, told her to go?" She asked astonished it was this same little boy that had helped save her other daughter as well.

"Yes, my Mama was hitting her… and the door was open. I knew they were going to take her to the place where we got lots of money and then never see her again." He answered quietly with a thoughtful expression and Irina hoped the horror in her heart didn't shine through in her eyes.

"How many other children have you taken to this place where you get lots of money?" Irina asked with a crack in her voice. "A lot?"

"Yes," he nodded sadly, and she gasped, "We get lots of money and then go on vacation and then when there is no more money, they get mad. They start fighting a lot and then we go to a park, or a school… and get another kid." He went quiet again and Irina sat in silence, too in shock to speak hearing this come from his little mouth, "I've never been to school." He said almost wistfully. "I wanted to go to school. I wanted to ride the bus." His little mind short-circuited back again continuing to stun her, "Lena said you would come for her… She said her Mama would come for her. Did you come for her? She said you promised…"

Irina gasped with this little boy and what he remembered as well as hearing her daughter's conviction she would come for her relayed through another five year old.

"Yes, I came for her. We found her this morning. I did promise I'd come for her." Her eyes began to fill with new tears, "I love her and Nadia very much. I missed them and so did their Daddy and sister and brothers."

"My mama never came for me." He spoke quietly looking down and his little lip began to tremble but he held it back, "But I don't remember if she promised me she would. I don't remember her much."

"What do you mean, Sweetheart?" Irina asked with a new pounding in her heart and she reached out, cupping his face and tilting his chin up to look at her. "You don't remember your mama? Isn't the woman on the train your mama? You said your mama was hitting Lena when you told her to go?" She knew that was a lot of questions for a five year old but now her heart was, pounding again.

"Yes, my mama hit Lena but she's not my real, real mama." He exaggerated his words in a way that reminded her of her own children, "I don't remember her," He shook his head and a tear slip from his eye falling against Irina's thumb, "But I do remember her eyes were brown," He looked up into her eyes with his own glassy ones, "Like yours…She used to sing to me too. My new mama never sings to me. My real mama took me to the park too…I never get to go to the park to play now…only when Mama and Daddy are working. They found me at the park, I remember because I was eating ice cream. My mama bought me ice cream. I never get to eat ice cream now. I like ice cream."

"Ah," Irina gasped with her hand going over her mouth in astonishment when she realized he'd been kidnapped too.

Somewhere out there, his parents were still mourning the loss of the child they lost and here he was sitting in front of her. She vowed then and there to find this child's family. He had saved hers, given her girls back to them, and she would do the same for him. Give a son back to his parents.

"I'll find your real Mama, the one with the brown eyes who used to sing to you and take you to the park. I promise." She kissed his forehead and cupped his little head staring into his eyes and seeing so much promise lurking in their depths as well. "What's your name, Sweetheart?" She asked realizing they hadn't been introduced.

"My Mama and Daddy call me Viktor," He seemed to melt into her hands, relaxing against her gentle touch, "But that's not my real name."

"What is your real name? Do you remember that?" Irina asked softly knowing there was a mother's heart out there still breaking from missing these eyes. "And how old are you?"

"Antony," His voice quivered afraid to say it aloud as he had been punished before for doing so. "And I'm five."

"Well, Antony," She smiled warmly thankful he remembered as it would make finding his real family that much easier with a name.

"My name is Irina. It's nice to meet you. Thank you for helping me, find my little girls."

"I didn't want them to go away at the place with the money." He shook his little head between her hands. Her hands were soft and gentle holding his face, not at all the hands he saw around the neck of his mean Mama.

"Thank you for that. Can I give you a hug?" She asked looking into his sweet little face wanting to squeeze her girls' little savior and wondering how long it had been since he'd been held, hugged and told he was loved?

Antony nodded yes and then wrapped his little arms around Irina's neck, and she wrapped hers around his little body with tears streaming down her face dripping into her smile, "I love you, Sweetheart."

She kissed the side of his head when he held on tightly and she knew it had been a long time since he'd been held this way. "I'm going to find your Mama, I promise you Antony… You can stay at my house until we find her…and I have a little boy almost your age, and a grandson who I'm sure would love to play with you."

Jack was slightly startled when he walked into the room and saw the back of Irina with the little boy wrapped around her neck and face buried into her hair. He smiled at the sight seeing her hand stroking over the back of his little head the same way she did with their own children.

"Irina," He called out softly and both heads turned to look at him with teary smiles, "She's starting to wake up."

Irina's heart bounced in her chest with excitement and she stood reaching her arms out to Antony, "You want to come with us and see Nadia? Maybe eat some ice cream?"

Antony's face lit into his first real smile and jumped into Irina's arms surprising Jack even more. She smiled at her smiling stunned husband and introduced the two.

"Antony, this is my husband Jack. He's Lena and Nadia's daddy. He's a very nice man." She smiled and brushed her hand over Jack's cheek, "Jack, I'd like you to meet Antony. We're going to help him find his _real_ Mama and Daddy." She slanted one eyebrow with a nod seeing her husband's eyes going wide, realizing this child had been kidnapped too. "He's also the one who told Lena to run."

"Well, it's an honor to meet you, Antony." Jack held out his hand to shake with a wide smile. "Let's go wait for Nadia to awaken and then get you both some ice cream, huh?"

The little boy nodded enthusiastically and Irina snickered taking note of Jack's shirt for the first time, "Nice Cookie Monster print, Sweetheart."

"I have Cookie Monster, too." Antony looked down with little chin plastered to his chest pointing to the print on his own little hospital gown.

"Yes," Irina smiled and felt the pull of her skin on the wire when the little boy moved in her arms and winced.

"The wire?" Jack asked immediately catching her grimace and remembering her injury.

Irina nodded but kept her smile maintained as they stopped walking in front of Nadia's door. "Can you take him please?"

"Yeah," Jack eagerly agreed and held his hands out for the little boy.

Antony easily went to Jack without question too busy observing their matching shirts and all eyes went wide in the room when the three entered that way.

"Everyone, this is Antony, and he's five years old. We're going to help him find his real Mama and Daddy." Irina smiled and nodded again seeing the other's wide eyes in recognition.

"Hello Antony." Sydney stood and smiled, hugging the little boy and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Nadia's fingers began to move and Irina was at her side instantly.

"Mama…" She cried out in a tiny voice before her eyes opened and her head lulled back and forth, her little arm reaching up to rub her nose. "Mama." She cried out again getting more agitated as she fought off the last of the drugs.

"I'm right here, Doodle Bug." Irina smiled, kissing her head and crying in relief. "Mama's right here."

"Mama!" Nadia cried and sprang up with wide eyes seeing it was indeed her mother hovering over her, "You're not gone!"

"No baby, I'm right here." Irina held her tightly kissing her little face and hands and every other inch of her exposed skin.

"I didn't want a new Mama and Daddy," Nadia shook her head furiously, clinging to her mother.

"No," Irina held her tightly and thanked God yet again for giving her babies back to her, "I'll always be your Mama, Sweetheart and Daddy will always be your Daddy."

"The tank broke and the water went whoosh!" She sat back on Irina's lap and pushed her hands out animatedly, "And the turtles were outside the tank, Mama! And we were screaming and the bad Daddy told us you were his friend."

They were smiling at her ability to bounce back, just like her mother, but were still anguished to hear about the abduction from her little point of view.

"No Doodle Bug," Irina shook her head, "He was not my friend. He was not a nice man to take my Little Loves from their Mama and Daddy."

"But he knew Daddy and Sydney and Julwian," She rambled with wide eyes.

"He didn't know them, Sweetheart, he just new their names. A lot of people know our names." Irina sighed cupping her little girl's face, "But he's not Mama's friend or Daddy's."

"Not the mean Mama either?" Nadia looked up at her with innocent confused eyes.

"No Sweetie," Irina nodded her head and the anger swept through her again hearing Nadia too; call this woman 'mean,' "Did she hurt you?"

"She pulled my hair," Nadia's little lip began to quiver and then her little hands went to her head and felt where her long curly hair had once been, "She cut my hair off Mama. I told her I like my hair. I had my Daddy's hair and you loved my hair but she cut my hair Mama!"

"I know Sweetheart," Irina rested her forehead with Nadia's and blinked back tears, "It will grow back I promise." She whispered to her again rubbing their noses together with a smile in an Eskimo kiss. "I love you, Nadia…to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth-"

"Forever and always!" Nadia shouted with a giggle, "I love you too Mama and I missed you whole bunches."

"I missed you too, Doodle Bug," Irina kissed her again with tears in her eyes that slowly fell in big drops with relief, happy to hear her laugh.

"I missed you too, Daddy," Nadia had her arms wrapped around Irina leaning her head into her mother's but smiled over at her Daddy with another giggle.

Jack had handed Antony off to Sydney and sat down beside Irina and Nadia, taking Nadia from her with an enormous teary smile and holding her close with a sigh of relief and then kissing her little neck. "I love you Firecracker…and Daddy missed you too."

When they went to bed that night, Jack had to smile over at his wife sound asleep with a smile on her face and their two little girls sound asleep beside her, Lena spooned back against her mother and Nadia spooned back against Lena. Lena's little arm was protectively slung over her little sister and Irina's arm was over them both, his fingers laced with her's and meeting in the middle over them and the two little boys sound asleep beneath his own arm sleeping in wild positions and not quite as graceful as the girls.

Nicholas was laying beside him with one tiny arm flung up over his head and the other against Jack's neck. One little leg was flopped up over Jack's hip having always been the most, wild sleeper.

Antony was on his stomach with one arm flung over Nadia's arm and the other over Nicholas's. He had one little leg curled up beside him as though he were doing an Army crawl. Jack had to smile at Nicholas's Spiderman pajamas that didn't quite fit Antony who was older and the legs and arms were somewhat short but he loved them anyway.

He wasn't afraid at all to climb into bed with them that night, having made fast friends with Nicholas and Jaxx the moment they returned home with him. He told them when they were all settled into bed that they were the 'nicest Mama and Daddy' he remembered ever knowing and it broke their hearts, knowing his parents were out there somewhere, agonizing every night without him as they had last night without their girls and a feeling Irina knew well, missing Sydney for twenty years… but at least she knew where in the world she was. His parents had no idea… their child was just lost into the world.

They would start trying to find his parents tomorrow. He took one last look at Irina and the four Munchkins between them and smiled before closing his eyes and falling asleep, exhausted.

* * *

Irina sat with legs curled up under her on the sofa in the morning after breakfast watching all of the children playing in the playroom with a steaming cup of tea in one hand, held away from her new baby grandson Alexei sleeping on her chest and a soft smile on her face just looking at them, listening to them and hearing them laugh and giggle. Her eyes couldn't help but keep zeroing in on Lena's bruised face and split lip, the giant bruise on her upper arm in the shape of the woman's hand or Nadia's new short blonde hair. The reminders of how close she'd come to losing them and it threatened to stop her heart with every glance. She couldn't make Lena's wounds heal faster or Nadia's hair grow back more quickly, but she could at least change the color back and get rid of that reminder. "I want to dye her hair back."

"I was just thinking the same thing." Sydney smiled over at her mother on the other end of the couch, "Do we do it ourselves here or take her to a professional?"

Sydney didn't like the visual reminder either of how close the bastards had come to getting away with her baby sister.

"Combine them. Have a professional come here." Irina looked back at her baby girl who was giggling and wrapping her arms around her brother to go down their tunnel slide. "Her hair's already been so traumatized, I don't want to risk having it all fall out. She's already upset its not long like it was." She added softly and smiled when her granddaughters, Anya, and Ria and niece Mia, bounced across the floor in front of them on rubber balls with handles, giggling into hysteria when Anya hit a toy truck and fell over onto the soft matted floor.

"I think she gets her driving skills from you!" Sydney snickered watching her youngest daughter, Eva, zoom around the room like it was an obstacle course at high speeds in her toy Humvee while being chased by her brother on his toy motorcycle. "I think they both get their driving skills from you!" She laughed watching as her Daredevil son ramped off a wooden puzzle propped up on a doll on the floor and flew through the air briefly. "Look at them! They're only three years old!"

"I think they got them from you." Irina smiled laughing as she watched them tear around the large room.

"Yeah, but I got them from you!" Sydney laughed, "Dad's not bad either." She shrugged with a smile and a deep giggle remembering her father's driving the day in the parking garage when she first learned who he really worked for. "But nobody drives like Babushka!" She flashed Irina a wide dimpled grin and caught Felix launching himself at her with a big grin having run in with his own Babushka Katya.

"What are we discussing?" Katya sat between them with a smile watching her grandson kissing Sydney with his slobbery little mouth and giggle before she set him down to happily chase his cousins and sister around.

"That my children seemed to have gotten Mom's driving skills." Sydney laughed again watching her twins in the cars and Anya maneuvering the rubber bouncy ball with the same precision.

"Oh yes, I'd have to agree." Katya laughed watching them with raised eyebrows.

Lena's sharp giggles caught their eye and they turned their heads to see her and Antony laying on the floor on their backs around the Sit and Spin where they had spun themselves into oblivion. "We crashed!" She giggled, "Everything is moving!" She lulled her little head back and forth and Antony did the same both giggling uncontrollably.

"I remember spinning myself sick on that thing." Sydney shook her head with a laugh, remembering the fun times she had on that same toy, still around almost thirty years later.

"I remember that well." Irina laughed seeing the similarities in her daughters with her mind flashing back to Sydney lying on the floor giggling about the spinning room in the same way Lena was now, "I also remember having to take it away from you for a week until you promised me you wouldn't spin for that long anymore. You threw up on me and the floor and everywhere else for three hours!"

"Oh yeah!" Sydney's eyes lit up remembering that part as well.

"Have you found anything out about Antony's real family?" Katya asked quietly after a moment staring at the blonde little boy with a smile. He was so cute and lively, obviously completely smitten with her niece, Lena. But then, what little boy wasn't?

The two who had cruelly abducted him, her girls and so many other children were now in prison awaiting their trials not yet set, because they were working out details. She had abolished the Death Penalty in her country for obvious reasons but the Life Sentences handed out for the top offenders were harsh. With years upon years locked in a four feet by six-foot cell, alone and with only one small window to see out into the hallway. She would let them both sit alone in solitary for two weeks in the dark before moving them to these cells and then start negotiations. Information on the children they kidnapped and sold in exchange for certain 'freedoms' in their Life Sentences like the chance to breath fresh air and reading material, etc. Depending on how many children they'd kidnapped, and how many were returned, were all going to be part of the negotiations.

Three counts of Kidnapping in the First Degree, two counts of Battery and two counts of Attempted Murder in the first degree were at the top of the list of charges. The three abductions of Antony, Lena and Nadia and Attempted Murder were all acts that each carried a Life Sentence. But, the attempted assassination of any member of the Imperial Family was the only charge punishable by death, and the fate of those individuals would be up to Irina under the rules set forth previously. She'd agreed not to kill the man if he did in fact agree to help them attempt to locate the children that he and his wife at least, sold on the Black Market.

Irina had decided to make it her new mission not only to eradicate the sale of human beings in Russia but throughout the world.

The first thing she did after waking up this morning and hugging and kissing each and everyone in her bed, making them all giggle in the way she loved and then squeal when she kissed Jack; was to head immediately downstairs into her den and pull up the Missing Children's files in Russia on her computer and search the last five years for a missing boy child with blue eyes named Antony who would be around five years old now. It only took her five minutes to pull up his case file and read that he'd been abducted just after his fourth birthday, a year and a half ago, from a park in a small town outside of Ekaterinburg.

Both his parents were half Italian and half Russian though both were born in Russia or as it was then the Soviet Union. Mother was Lana and father was Lucious. Both were teachers and Antony had a little sister Isabella who was a year younger then he. The family had since moved into St. Petersburg when the parents took jobs at the University and primary school and she'd had a message delivered to them just a half hour ago, with waiting limo outside their home on this Saturday that the Tsar was requesting their presence, which would no doubt stun the family.

The news that a third child had been recovered from the kidnappers was left out of the papers on purpose to give Irina the chance to find his legitimate parents without stirring the hopes of all the others who'd lost children and would be devastated all over to learn it wasn't their child found… yet. She was determined to find them too.

"I found them and they should be here any minute." Irina smiled over at her sister and Katya's mouth dropped open slightly.

"Already? You found them that quickly?" Katya was astonished at how quickly her sister moved.

"He doesn't remember much, but he remembered his name… and that was the most important detail." Irina smiled with pride in the little boy whom she hoped would recognize his mother's brown eyes and the sound of her voice when the two were put together in a room, "He was taken over a year ago…"

"Have you told him you found his mother?" Katya asked more quietly wondering how this reunion was going to go.

"No," Irina shook her head, "I think its best to let them find their way."

The doorbell rang ceasing the conversation and Irina handed her mug of tea to Katya, standing with Alexei still sleeping peacefully on her shoulder with a smile. "I'll be right back." She spoke with a quiet smile to her sister and Sydney and left the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

Dmitri answered the door and Irina couldn't help but smile at the nervous mother who walked into the door first, her eyes going wide as she looked around the massive foyer of the palace and then eyes landed on Irina with the baby. She was a beautiful young woman, not much older then Sydney with blonde hair and dark brown eyes, just as Antony remembered. His father carrying his sister, entered just behind her and all smiled nervously seeing the Tsar of their beloved Imperial Russia walking towards them looking so casual and motherly and yet extremely regal and gorgeous.

"Hello," Irina smiled stepping forward and kissing Lana's cheek and then her husband as Dmitri took their coats.

"Your Majesty," Lana whispered out in a choked voice of disbelief to greet her, sure she was in some alternate universe looking at the Tsar and then the baby, her grandson, The Grand Duke Alexei on her shoulder they just saw baptized on the Anniversary of the Coronation a little over a week ago on television.

"I know this must be very surreal for you. Understanding that you have no idea why you were summoned by me and are now standing in my home," Irina smiled widely even as fresh tears slowly began to fill her eyes, "I promise I'll explain everything and answer all of your questions but will you first, just follow me please?" She waved them forward to follow her across the room and stopped in front of the door. "There is something I have to show you, and I think once you see… the why you're here will be obvious and nothing else will matter." She smiled enigmatically as a single tear fell from her eye and didn't give them time to respond or really comprehend before whirling around and opening the door, taking Lana by the hand and leading her into the enormous play room.

"There." Irina spoke softly, pointing through the sea of toys and children towards the Sit and Spin where her daughter and Antony were still spinning and had just fallen off again laughing.

When Antony sat up and turned his laughing, smiling face towards them he seemed to freeze and Irina heard the sharp intake from his mother beside her.

"Antony!" Lana cried out frozen in place with disbelief and then raging tears filling her eyes. "Antony!" She called out again taking a few rapid steps forward and then slowing seeing his little face paling and standing up, not wanting to scare him realizing he may not remember her it had been so long.

"Mama?" Antony called out and his eyes began to tear, looking at her eyes and hearing her voice, "Mama!" He ran forward on little legs towards her and fell down from being dizzy but got right back up and flung himself into her crying arms when she met him half way. Another mother and child reunited.

* * *

**_*Raude*_**

_June 2008- South Pacific- Elbaroda S'yendys Island, Fiji_

"This place is incredible." Lana smiled widely as they cruised around the island in the smaller boat leaving the massive Imperial II resting in deeper waters and looking over the island before her.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Weiss smiled happily having been here before with Sophia on their honeymoon.

The water of the reefs below them were clear for at least 40m down. The main house was on the reef side of the island were it was protected from storms. There were two ways of getting to it, by jeep and land over the island or by taking a small boat around. This was the more beautiful route and the one they were on.

"Wait until you see the house!" He beamed with an even wider smile.

Irina smiled back at the boatload of people she was bringing ashore and throttling down before throwing anchor in a deep hole amongst the reef dug for just that purpose. They were still thirty feet from shore when she turned around and the conversation ceased while she climbed down from the Captains seat above them, reaching back for Eva who was sitting up there with her.

"Where is the dock?" Ben Devlin asked having never accompanied the family to Irina's island in the South Pacific before. His eyes looked around them surrounded by the clear jade water and the shore still quite a ways away.

"On the other side of the island for supplies and such. There isn't one on this side." Irina smiled removing her sarong, "I didn't want to break up the gorgeous natural landscape more then I had to. So from here, we wade in." She laughed softly seeing his surprised eyes. "Don't worry, it's not deep."

Irina jumped in, as did many and she turned around, reaching back for Ria who was the closest child to Jack and the one she would carry in. Their luggage was already on its way via the dock and would be there soon.

"Look at the fish!" Nadia squealed excitedly, having not been back here for almost two years and seeing it all again with new eyes now that she was four. She was sitting on top of Jack's shoulders while he pulled Nicholas and Eva behind him in a rubber duck boat to shore.

It was only a week after the kidnapping and Antony's reunion with his family. Irina had already decided earlier in the morning that she was going to take a month off to be with her children and family after the ordeal and Katya's. Her Cabinet and country understood the need to bond and Vladimir agreed to step up to cover the things he could and she rescheduled the things that could wait. If an Emergency arose, he knew how to get a hold of her. She'd check in twice a day and get reports but her family, held her sole attention.

Nadia's hair had been dyed back to as close to her natural color as possible and the short curly hair would be cute on her adorable little face if not for the reminder of why it was that way that still made Irina cringe to look at.

Antony and his family were making remarkable progress but still having some drawbacks after so much time apart and Irina asked them if they would like to join them on this sabbatical of seclusion and use it as a chance to deepen their own bond with their son. Antony seemed to do better with his parents with others around, especially other children. He loved playing with all the kids and they him and he'd taken right away to his 'big brother' status over Isabella his younger sister who was four.

"Look at this white sandy beach," Lana gasped walking onto shore with her hand held tightly to her son's who wanted to walk through the last of the shallow water. "It's like Heaven."

The white sandy beaches seemed to go on forever before a small peninsula of rocks and palm trees jutted out into the sea and created another alcove. She bent over and picked up a seashell half buried in the sand and the last inch of water and knelt down with a smile to give it to her son. Kissing his face and staring into the eyes she had missed so much and haunted her dreams with their loss.

"What does _Elbaroda S'yendys_ mean? It sounds so beautiful," Lucious smiled over to Irina, curious about the name of the island as he set his own little girl into the sand and watched her run around in big circles weaving in and out of the adults playing with the other children.

"Reverse the spelling." Irina smiled rewrapping her waist with the sarong and looking over to her oldest with a mixture of shyness and pride.

"Adorable Sydney's Island." Lucious smiled reversing the letters and realizing what they meant. "That's very creative." He was still nervous being around the Tsar and the Imperial family and he and Lana had several discussions in bed at night, pinching each other with playful smiles to make sure they weren't dreaming. That they had their son back, and that it was the Tsar of their Imperial Russia who they had to thank. Going on vacation with them to their private island required more then a pinch but the request of Lana to slap him while they packed.

"Sydney always loved the beach… and she's very adorable." Irina laughed with a soft smile. "Nadia!" She called out seeing her youngest start running further down the beach in her game playing, "Don't go up that far, please! Stay over here closer to Mama." She had hardly let either of the girls or Nicholas out of her sight for very long with the fear of losing them still running through her veins but ever so slowly dissipating.

"But I want to see those rocks and trees, Mama!" Nadia called back stopping in the sand and pointing to the peninsula.

"Well okay then, but wait for me!" Irina smiled with a soft laugh at her youngest, always the explorer, "I'll go with you."

**_*The Beach Song*_**

Nadia giggled with excitement waiting for her mother and then ran back the last ten feet to grab hold of her fingers.

"It's just you and me, Mama!" The little girl bounced along happily beside her mother in the surf slowly rolling over their feet at the edge of the beach. She loved alone time with her mother and taking walks together and 'exploring' had always been one of her favorite things.

"Yes, Doodle Bug. It's just you and me." Irina smiled down at her as they walked along together. "I love you, Sweetheart." She spoke softly after a moment staring down at the little girl beside her and smiling when Nadia's head turned up with sweet smiling face and bright brown eyes. "And I'm so happy you're my baby girl. You know how much Mama loves you, right?"

"Yes!" Nadia giggled and then jumped over a stick in the sand, "To the moon and back, more then the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth… forever and always." She recited with smile, "You tell me all the time, Mama… and you love me really big!" She let go of her mother's hands to stretch her arms out like a bird as far they would go and looked over the sand, "This much!"

Irina laughed seeing her trying to stretch and swooped her up out of the sand as she walked along, kissing her neck and tickling her. "Yes, I love you really big!" She laughed and kissed Nadia's little lips.

"I love you really big too, Mama!" Nadia giggled kissing her back and wrapping her little arms around Irina's neck. "Mama… are you going to stay my Mama forever and ever?" She asked suddenly and Irina stopped walking and sighed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. The lingering repercussion of the kidnappers doubts still plaguing her poor little mind and cementing the fate that now, all three of her daughters had the fear their mother would leave them.

"Nadia," She addressed her daughter with tears building in her eyes even as she tried to blink them back, "Would you look at Mama a minute please?" She waited for her little arms to unravel from around her neck and then stared into her big brown eyes intently. "No one else is ever going to be your mama. I have always been your mama and I promise I always will be. You will always be my little Doodle Bug and I will always be your mama. Forever and ever… I promise, okay?" She rubbed her nose with Nadia's in an Eskimo kiss and then kissed her perfect little lips with a smile.

"Okay, Mama." Nadia smiled with a giggle and played with her mother's hair pivoting their connected foreheads back and forth with a smile, "That makes me feel better 'cuz I don't ever want a new Mama."

Irina couldn't help but smile wider hearing the declaration and kissed her again, "How about we try to find some sea shells? Hmm?" She asked setting her back down again, "Or maybe a good stick to draw in the sand with."

"You can use a stick to draw in the sand?" Nadia's little curious eyebrows rose to her hairline, "How can you draw in the sand, Mama?"

"I'll show you, Doodle Bug." Irina smiled and they resumed their walk down the beach together spending some quality one on one time that was so very important to both.

* * *

***Somewhere Over the Rainbow ***

"Wow…" Lena gasped in awe lying on the beach in the sand looking up at the stars with her mother; the stars looked different here then in Russia being in different seasons. Without any city lights to interrupt the sky, the canopy around them seemed to be painted with millions of them.

Just the two of them had taken time after dinner before Lena went to bed to take their own walk back down to the beach to star gaze. They now lay side by side in the warm sand picking out the constellations Lena knew.

"Lena, look!" Irina used her finger to point out a shooting star with a smile.

"It's so pretty, Mama!" Lena giggled excitedly with little fingers digging into the sand and squishing her toes in as well with knees bent just like her mother.

The fine powdery sand fell through her fingers and she turned her head to look eye level all the way down the beach at the massive amount of sand and how tiny each piece was and then back up to the star covered sky. She started to count and after a few minutes sighed heavily making her mother snicker beside her.

"You love me a lot!" Lena suddenly broke the silence with a wonder filled smile turning her head back to look at her mother.

"Yes, I do." Irina laughed turning her own head in the sand to look at her daughter with a curious smile hearing the realization in Lena's tone. "How did you know?" She asked hearing something different from Lena she'd never heard before, comprehension of the quantity of Irina's love for her. Real comprehension… not just 'really big' like Nadia's that still made her smile to think about.

"There are so many grains of sand, Mama and so many stars! I tried to count them but that's the most numbers ever and I ran out of numbers!" Lena held her hands up and shrugged with wonder. "And you always say you love me MORE than that! That's a lot!"

"Yes, it is." Irina smiled widely with nothing but love and pride looking at her sweet little face still healing from the last trauma. "And I do love you more than all this sand or all those stars, Snuggle Bug. I love you so much my heart would break without you."

"Mama," Lena broke the silence after a moment, "Did your heart break when baby Jack went to Heaven with Babushka and Papa?" Her little innocent eyes once again holding fast to her mother's. She knew her big brother Jack died when he was a baby because he was too little when he was born.

"Yes, it did." Irina's eyes filled with tears and she smiled softly rolling onto her side, curling her arm under her head and touching Lena's face with the other. Her little girl was so perceptive… such a thinker. "It was very broken for a long… long time."

"Who fixed it? Papa Alexei?" Lena mimicked her mother's movements rolling onto her side and tucking her arm under her head wanting to be just like her.

"No… you did." Irina smiled and wiped at the tear that had fallen, "You and Aunt Katya and Sydney and Daddy and Julian… One at a time you started to make Mama's heart better again." The pieces of her heart coming together.

"How did I fix it?" Lena's little brown eyes slanted with curiosity and intrigue. "Did we cut you open and fix it like Papa Alexei at the hospital?"

Irina laughed softly, tucking Lena's hair behind her ear, "No… you fixed it in another way. With your love… and mine for you." She smiled studying the little face beside her and looking into Lena's dark eyes, "Because with you… I gave birth to a piece of my heart that reminded me… I still had one." She sighed softly still seeing the need to explain more to her young inquisitive daughter, "A long time ago I was taken away from Sydney and Daddy and it made me very sad-"

"Were you kidnapped too?" Lena interjected recalling her own kidnapping where she was taken away and it made her sad.

Irina's heart clenched with her tiny understanding and she smiled through her tears, "Yes, I guess I was." She wiped at another tear thinking about the extraction.

"By the bad man?" Lena asked remembering Sydney's story.

"Yes," Irina nodded against her arm and wrapped her long fingers around Lena's tiny wrist, rubbing her thumb back and forth over her little hand. "But I was kept away from Daddy and Sydney and even Aunt Katya for a long, long time. A big part of Mama's heart stayed with Sydney and Daddy and Aunt Katya… and your brother Jack. It was broken with so many pieces missing. But it kept going because I knew that even though I couldn't see Sydney anymore I knew she was okay… and maybe one day, I would get to see her again… So Mama worked really hard to keep going for that day when I could see Sydney again and your brother Julian helped me too. He gave me another reason to keep going. And when Mama finally got to see Sydney again it started to make me feel better-"

"And seeing Daddy, too?" Lena asked sweetly.

"Yes," Irina smiled thinking about the night Jack had really given her heart back, "Daddy too. Daddy gave me a big part of my heart back the same time he gave me you… I had to go away from Daddy and Sydney again and I was so sad again but having you growing inside me was a way for Mama to keep part of Daddy's love with me. It made me feel better… and then Aunty Katya helped Mama feel better and fix part of my broken heart by telling me she still loved me and I got to see her again all the time." She took a deep breath; explaining this was wasn't something she ever thought she'd do. "Eventually, Daddy and Sydney came to find me and told me they loved me too and fixed another big part of my heart. And then when you were born, you reminded Mama of all the good and all the love that was in my heart and my heart wasn't broken anymore. All of you made it better by loving me and me loving you. My babies have always been the best part of Mama's heart."

"Me and Nee-Nee and Ju-Ju and Nicolai and Doodle Bug?" Lena asked with little finger reaching out to trace the visible part of the scar on her mother's chest that Papa Alexei had made to fix her Mama's heart once, "We are the best parts of your heart?" Her fingers moved to the locket that always hung there.

"Yes, you are the best parts of Mama's heart." Irina smiled reaching out and taking Lena's hand again kissing her little fingers holding the locket, "On the day that each of you were born or came into my life, Mama gave a part of her heart to you. I wear my locket with all of your birthstones on it next to my heart to keep all the pieces of Mama's heart together and close. It makes me feel better to have that to hold onto when I am not with you." She smiled reaching out for the tiny locket on Lena's neck, "That's why I gave you your locket too, right? So that you can feel better when Mama isn't with you. Mine is for when I miss you and yours is for when you miss me… and both remind us of how much we love each other."

Lena's smile just beamed and Irina wondered how much of what she had just said actually made sense to her daughter but she seemed to get it in some way at least.

"When I have babies some day I will put their stones on my locket and keep them close to my heart too!" Lena giggled fingering her locket that looked like a daisy flower with its yellow center surrounded by Irina's blue. Irina couldn't help but smile at that thought of a new tradition passed down. "Mama…" She addressed Irina again in a tone that held question a moment later. "If we fixed your heart without cutting you open and doing surgery at the hospital… why did Papa Alexei have to cut you open to fix it?" Her eyes were once again on the scar tracing lightly and stopping just before the blue and black stitches now in the middle of the scar where she had to have it closed again from the wire puncture. A waterproof second skin bandage was keeping the salt water from drying it out.

"Well," Irina sighed with a smile thinking about how extremely perceptive Lena really was, "It takes two things to make your heart keep beating. One thing it needs to keep beating is love. Without love sometimes our hearts don't have the will to keep beating."

"Like putting fuel in the car?" Lena asked and Irina couldn't help but chuckle, "The car won't drive if we don't put gas in it!"

"Yes, like putting fuel in the car to make it go. We need love and will in our hearts to make it go too." Irina smiled trying not to laugh at how entirely cute that comparison was though it worked, "My love for you and your Daddy and sisters and brothers and all our family and theirs for me, are the fuel to keep my heart beating." She laughed softly.

"And you love me and I love you and that is the fuel to make my heart go!" Lena giggled with wonder, "And I love Daddy and Nee-Nee and Ju-Ju and Nicolai and Doodle Bug and Anya and Eva and Jaxx and Ria and Alexei and Mia and Felix and… and everybody!"

"That's right." Irina laughed softly fingering Lena's hair again with a smile.

"What else does it need, Mama?" Lena asked with her palm flat against Irina's chest feeling the beating of her large heart, "You said it takes two things to make my heart and your heart keep beating. We have fuel… now what do we need?"

Irina couldn't stop the smile or small laughter lighting her eyes from listening to Lena, "The second thing our heart needs is to be healthy and strong. My heart had a hole in it that needed to be fixed. That is why Papa Alexei had to cut me open. It was the only way to sew close the hole and make it all better."

"But why was there a hole in it? How did it get there?" Lena asked tilting her little face up to look at her mother again.

Irina bit her lip thinking about what she was going to say before answering, wanting to give her as much of the truth as she could without giving too much.

"I was shot with a gun and the bullet made the hole." She brought her finger up to trace the circular puckered flesh from the bullet entry on her chest.

"By the bad man? Nee-Nee said the bad man broke your heart when Papa Alexei had to fix it at the hospital." Lena reached up to touch it too.

"Yes." Irina swallowed hard, "But he's gone now, Lena, he can't hurt you or Mama or Sydney ever again." She cupped her little face holding her gaze and reassuring her. "You helped me to fix my heart then too. Did you know that?" Irina smiled thinking about her surprise she was sure helped pull her through, "Mama didn't know it yet but you were already a tiny baby in my tummy then. Your little loving heart I think was talking to mine and telling it to feel better."

Lena giggled with that thought, "You're silly, Mama. How does my heart talk to yours if we can only talk with our mouth?" She ran her own little fingers over her mouth with a smile.

Irina laughed that her inquisitive little mind never ceased to ask and understand.

"We don't always have to use our mouths to talk and tell people what we want. When I do this," She made the come hither gesture with her finger, "You know that means to come to me without me having to speak with my mouth, right?" She waited for Lena to nod, "And when I smile what does that mean?"

"That you are happy!" Lena giggled smiling and Irina nodded.

"And when I am crying?" She asked softly.

"That you are sad." Lena said just as softly.

"Right. We don't have to use words to say those things do we?" Irina asked with a soft smile, "Our hearts can talk to each other in the same way. They don't need words to understand each other. But sometimes… as you'll learn as you get older… the language that is spoken between hearts is complicated." She laughed softly.

"Why?" Lena's little hand wrapped around Irina's fingers.

"Because sometimes it's very easy to understand what they are saying and at other times… it is very difficult." Irina smiled softly thinking about her own dance between the two in her own life with her husband, sister and child.

"Mama…" Lena addressed her again after they'd turned back over and were looking up at the stars again, "How do babies get inside your tummy?"

Irina's eyes went wide looking up at the stars and hearing her tiny voice ask the question and then trying not to laugh as visions of her conception flashed through Irina's mind knowing she definitely couldn't tell her about that. She had to get her thoughts together before she could roll over to look at Lena again and address her with the closest possible truth without getting graphic.

"Well… when a Mama and a Daddy love each other very much they make love-"

"How do you make love?" Lena asked with knit eyebrows not understanding how you could make it and wanting to know how.

Irina bit her lip smiling and stalling; Sydney hadn't asked this question when she had explained to her where babies came from at the same age. She had just accepted what her mother said and then immediately asked her to make another baby with Daddy so she could have a baby sister or brother.

"There are different kinds of love, Lena. The love between a Mama and her baby is different then the love between a Mama and Daddy. The love between you and your sisters is another kind of love and so is the love between you and your brothers. Kind of like a bag of M&Ms… they are all M&Ms right?" She asked the little girl who loved Peanut M&Ms thanks to her father, "But they are all different colors. That is what love is like. Love is all the M&Ms but each love is a different color."

"But how do you make love?" Lena asked again with the same expression. Understanding there was now more then one love but still not understanding how to make it.

"Well… only a Mama and Daddy can make love so that you can see it… a baby is that love. To make a baby a Mama and Daddy do a very special dance… usually laying down in a bed," She tried not to laugh, "That's what we call making love."

"How do you dance that is special to make a baby?" Lena's mind was relentless.

"Okay… ah…" Irina's heart was pounding and she couldn't stop smiling, "You already know the difference between girl parts and boy parts, right?" Irina asked and Lena nodded.

"Yes, girls have breasts and a vagina and boys have a penis and testicles." Lena said confidently and Irina slapped her hand over her eyes with a wide smile for a moment thinking about Jack sitting here for this conversation and trying to explain only to hear that come out of her little mouth so innocently. He would die of embarrassment.

"Yes, that's right, Sweetheart." Irina smiled down at her serious expression.

"So you take your clothes off to make this love dance?" Lena asked with such wide-eyed innocence Irina was shaking slightly with held in laughter.

"Yes. The Mama and Daddy take their clothes off to make love. In the special dance of making love between a Mama and Daddy those special parts go together like puzzle pieces." She was trying very hard not to laugh, "And while Mama and Daddy's parts are connected like puzzle pieces in this special dance of making love… a teeny tiny piece of Daddy goes through the connected parts into Mama and meets with a teeny tiny piece of Mama in her tummy. Those two tiny pieces come together and mix to make something new."

"Like when you mix Play-Dough and you take the blue Play-Dough and you mix it with the red Play-Dough and it turns into purple Play-Dough?" Lena asked with bright eyes and using her hands like she was mixing the imaginary substance.

"Yes!" Irina smiled in relief that this was going easier then expected, "And then when the special dance of making love is over the Mama and Daddy special parts are disconnected… taken apart and put away… like a puzzle," She snickered, "That something 'new' in Mama's tummy is the baby that starts to grow and change and it takes a long time… nine months inside the Mama for the baby to be ready to be born."

"Is that how I got into your tummy? You and Daddy did the dance of making love?" Lena asked with the sweetest of smiles and intrigue.

"Yes, Sweetheart." Irina smiled and nodded softly, "In one of the most beautiful dances ever." She ran her fingers lightly over Lena's face thinking about that fateful night in Panama.

"And then Papa Alexei cut open your tummy and took me out at the hospital?" She asked with wide innocent eyes and finger tracing the scar on her mother's exposed belly above her sarong.

"No," Irina smiled warmly at her, "That's only sometimes when they need to take the baby out of the Mama very quickly so they don't get sick. Mama was very sick and so were Nicholas and Nadia and that is why Papa Alexei had to take them out of me by cutting into my tummy. Most of the time the baby comes out of the Mama through her special girl part. That is how you and Sydney were born." She smiled thinking about their births.

"What about Ju-Ju? How did he come out?" Lena noticed she'd left out one of her siblings.

"Well…" Irina snuggled her head into a different position laying on her bent arm and capturing Lena's little hand again. Her daughter had no idea that her big brother was any different from the rest of them in only this one way.

"Mama didn't give birth to Julian. He didn't grow inside Mama's tummy. He grew in another Mama's tummy and she had him. But when he was very little his Mama went to Heaven and I became his Mama. He came to live with me and I took care of him and my love for him grew in my heart instead of my tummy." She smiled thinking about Julian at the same exact age Lena was now when she had come to get him from that school. 'He was so little.' She couldn't help but think looking at Lena in front of her now and thinking of the blonde little boy then.

"I've been Julian's Mama since he was the same age you are now. Only five years old."

"Did Julian want a new Mama?" Lena asked with knit brows of concern after everything that had happened with the mean people, "Did he want you to be his new Mama, Mama?"

"Not at first because he missed his first Mama but she was gone. She had died and he was very little. He was very sad and scared and alone and he wanted a new Mama to love him and protect him." Irina felt tears pricking at her eyes even as she smiled thinking about Julian and that moment at the grave when he put his hand into hers. "Yes, I do think he wanted me to be his new Mama even then. I love him very much and he loves me. He is another one of my babies just like you!" She tapped Lena on the nose.

"I am glad Ju-Ju found you as his new mama. So he wasn't sad anymore. You are the best, Mama." Lena smiled thoughtfully and touched her mother on the nose in the same way.

Irina felt the silent tear once again slip down her cheek and reached out, pulling Lena to her and then rolled so her little girl was laying on top of her chest in the sand; Lena's ear right over her heart and Irina's hand brushing over her little head while she looked up at the stars. "I love you, Lena." She smiled seeing another shooting star.

"I love you too, Mama." Lena smiled snuggling in further against her mother's chest and inhaling her scent, "Can you feel it, Mama? I'm giving fuel to your heart!" She giggled and Irina laughed kissing her head.

"Yes, my Snuggle Bug. I can feel it. Can you feel Mama giving fuel to your heart?" She asked softly with the little body draped over her and her own arms around Lena.

"Mmmhmm," Lena nodded, while her eyes flirted with sleep and finally gave in listening to the sound of her mother's heartbeat.


	44. Chapter 44

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Lovesong **_**by Adele**_**, ******__Thank Heaven for Little Girls by Maurice Chevalier, Mother and Child Reunion by Paul Simon, My Love is Your Love by Whitney Houston, ****__Chevaliers de Sangreal _**********by Hans Zimmer from The Da Vinci Code Soundtrack**_********__****__, _SinnerMan (Felix Da Housecat Mix) by Nina Simone. 

* * *

FORTY-FOUR

o

_***Lovesong***_

Jack was standing in water just up to his chest in the moonlight not too far from the beach or the house that was aglow with activity even after all the children were put to bed. Irina had brought Lena in and put their sleeping little girl to bed with a kiss and a smile before grabbing his hand and sneaking him out of the house with her. She was now wrapped around his body in the warm South Pacific waters with arms draped lazily around his neck. The water was mostly calm with the outer reefs blocking any waves and felt more like a giant bath right now then the ocean.

Irina claimed his lips in a slow sweet kiss taking their time to enjoy the other and without any hurry. Just enjoying being together.

"So are you having a good time?" Jack asked with a smile, his hands holding onto her weightless frame in the water around her waist and fingers pressing into her lower back lightly.

"I'm always having a good time when I'm with you or our children." Irina smiled, resting her forehead against his and closing her eyes. "I found seashells with Nadia, went swimming with Nicholas, stargazing with Lena, made sand angels with Anya," She smiled when he snickered at the picture of Irina making sand angels with their first granddaughter, "Played 'chicken war' with Julian and Sydney and built sand castles with all of them. It was a good day."

"Yes, it was." Jack smiled kissing her lips and laughing softly as another image of Irina from the day entered his mind of her attacking Julian like an Anaconda in the water again after he thought their game was over and went back to taunting.

Their kissing picked up intensity and need and it wasn't long before they were making love standing in the water. It was long and slow and pleasantly torturous before they both fell off the drop off. When they'd both come down they submerged themselves under water and came up laughing swimming in playful circles around each other before coming back together again.

Irina had to smile feeling his rapidly rising intentions once again brushing against her matching the lust and passion she saw radiating in his gaze.

"Ah!" He suddenly gasped looking around at the dark water around them, "I just felt an eel or something brush against my leg."

"Me too." Irina laughed nibbling on his ear and thinking of another.

"No! Not that! I mean it! I felt something!" Jack looked around paranoid at the black vast sea surrounding them.

"I'm sure you did." Irina continued her lingual assault on his neck while rubbing her body against his; her hand going between their bodies and grasping him making him gasp and shiver and her laugh softly against his neck.

"Ah!" Jack yelped again and held onto her with one arm while he spun around wildly, "That's it! I felt it again and we're out of here!" He immediately started towards the shore and Irina was laughing.

"Jack! Stay!" She called after him while he was dragging her along with him by the hand, moving with speed, "We were in the middle of something back there!" She laughed.

"Well its finished as I'm not staying in that water!" He called back over his head shaking his head and gasping when she spun him around just before walking out onto the sand, hooked her leg behind his knees sweeping his legs out from under him and pushing him back hard on the chest knocking him flat on his back and landing on top of him.

"I said," Irina smiled down at him with a predatory gaze and smile from where she straddled him at the waters edge, sliding her wet body down against his, "We're not finished yet." She laced her fingers with his and bucked her hips back over his brushing their heat.

"Ok," Jack laughed and just as excited to finish what he'd started as she looking at her gorgeous sexy form, wet and above him in the moonlight. He'd be an idiot to not take advantage of the situation to be alone with his beautiful mostly naked wife on a deserted beach in the South Pacific.

Her kiss was sweeping through his mouth when he realized how close they were to the house and that any moment they could be interrupted.

"Hey," He spoke against her lips but kept kissing her struggling to sit up with her on top of him, "We need to move this 'unfinished business' down the beach a ways and not directly in front of the house where our daughter or son, God forbid or anyone else may stumble upon us."

"There are so many trees down the beach. Too many coconuts." She smiled against his lips.

"So what?" Jack looked at her strangely and Irina laughed flipping her hair oh-so-sexily over her shoulder.

"You know what the number one cause of death in Fiji is, Jack?" She looked at him while dragging his bottom lip into her mouth and pulling away with it between her teeth. "Falling coconuts. Falling coconuts take more lives then anything else." She had to laugh even if it wasn't really funny, but was, considering, "I'd hate to have survived bullets, blades, bombs and lethal injection only to be done in by a coconut." She shook with laughter against his body and Jack had to chuckle at that too.

"Well, I still think it's worth taking our chance with the coconuts to move down the beach." He smiled.

"Fine, but I'm not moving." Irina smiled continuing to kiss him and rake her hands through his hair, over his shoulders and neck, "You'll have to carry me if you're moving us."

Jack shook his head and laughed at her tenacity and held her with one hand against him as he struggled for a moment but stood making them both laugh when he was finally standing and she wrapped her long legs around his hips."You're something else, you know that?" He kissed her back walking down the beach with one arm around her back and the other under her.

"Jack!" Irina yelped and laughed when she felt his fingers sliding beneath her bikini bottoms to brush against her wet heat. "Ahh!" She hissed and then bit his shoulder to cover her scream with a grin when he plunged them inside. "We're far enough away," She gasped again with high pitch catching her breath while his finger grazed the sensitive nerve bundles inside that sent a violent shiver through her, "Drop down so I can ride you into oblivion." She hissed into his ear and Jack's hips jerked into her hearing the command of 'The Man' voice he loved so much.

"Not yet, My Love." He teased her with a smile while she gasped and whimpered softly with his touch, "Just a bit further." His statement held a dual purpose as he grinned bringing her further towards the edge intent on getting her off at least once before they got to the spot where he would let her take control. Her body was already so ignited from the previous explosion in the water and foreplay that it didn't take long for her to fall into ecstasy once again in his arms with Jack swallowing her scream with a smile.

When the kiss ended they smiled against each other and Jack slipped his hand out and brought the soaked fingers to her lips painting them with an evil grin seeing her pupils completely consuming her passion inflamed eyes and then kissed her deeply with her taste mingling between their tongues and hinting of his intentions to come in tasting her again.

They turned the small corner and as they did heard the sounds before they turned and saw their daughter and son-in-law rolling around on a spread out blanket on the sand in the throngs of passion. They were both dumbstruck and the other two hadn't noticed their visitors and kept on with the intense 'drive' and it was only when Vaughn slid his hands under Sydney and sat back on his knees pulling her up with him that he froze seeing Jack standing not twenty feet away from him with Irina wrapped around him, both of their eyes wide.

Irina had never caught them so fully in the act and a stunned grin matched her wide eyes that eventually met with her daughter's when Sydney turned her head seeing Vaughn stop and then pale.

"Oh God…" Sydney turned her face into Vaughn's neck and away from where her parents were staring at them; her mother looking amused if stunned and her father like a ghost in the moonlight so drained of color and expression.

With the position they were in, her father carrying her mother and both wearing only swimwear, it wasn't hard to guess why they'd come down the beach either.

"Not to worry." Irina smiled and held back her laughter seeing the two nakedly entwined and not too different from a position they'd once stumbled upon she and Jack in. "We'll leave you to finish. After all, you've afforded us that courtesy before. Have a good night." She smiled, "Jack," She turned her face back to his and used her fingers to turn his face away from Sydney and Vaughn towards her own, "Turn around and keep walking."

This time when she used the voice of 'The Man' he listened instantly and spun them around and started walking quickly away. They snuck back into the house without anyone noticing they were gone and headed straight for the shower not saying anything but Irina couldn't stop shaking with held back laughter.

"You know… we still have some very important unfinished business that needs to be tended to," Irina smiled at him coming out of the bathroom to find him in bed already, laying on the sheets in his boxers having just crashed there with a heavy sigh.

"I don't know how that's going to be possible as I can't stop thinking about finding Sydney!" Jack's voice grew with every decibel, "I swear she's trying very hard to ruin the image I have of the Immaculate Conception created grandchildren!"

"I'm sure I can find a way to get your head," She walked up to the bed in her white robe and then crawled up the end of the bed on all fours straddling him and raking her nails over his boxers and length, tweaking his head before settling her naked heat under the robe directly on top, "Back in the game."

Lana, Lucious, the Devlins, Judy, Kendall, Marcelo, Katya, Sophia, Weiss and Lena who had awoken while her parents were out, were now swimming and chatting in the water in the dark in front of the house.

"Look! They're back!" Lena pointed from her spot in Kendall's arms towards her parent's bedroom on the second story where the entire front wall was a glass window. The back of Irina in the white robe was clearly visible as she sat on the bed in the illuminated room.

Irina's hands reached up and seductively slid her robe off her shoulders one at a time and let it pool around her waist perched upon Jack.

"Dear Lord, here we go again," Kendall gasped with a hiss of an intake breath while they were all frozen in this rapid but slow moment of time.

The sight of her naked back with her hair dancing around against her spine playfully had them all gaping and then gasping when Jack leaned up and his broad hands slid down her back towards her ass and the other tangling in her hair as he kissed her passionately.

"Oh. My. God." Karen Devlin was gasping through her smile standing in the water looking up.

Irina's head tilted to the side when he began kissing down her neck giving him better access and his hand slid up to her breast.

Lana and Lucious were staring with wide-eyes of shock to see their Tsar's naked back straddling her husband and his hands moving over her body, tracing her spine sensually with his fingers towards her ass. They were nervous around her before but now… They felt like they couldn't breath.

"My sister certainly has a sexy back, I'll give her that." Katya laughed already eager to tease Irina about this in the morning, "I can't help but feel as if I'm at one of those… what do you call them? Drive-In shows, yes? Only this is a Swim-In I guess." She couldn't stop the laughter and wrapped herself around Marcelo's back nipping at his ear playfully while he chuckled.

"Are they doing the dance of making love?" Lena asked with head tilted slightly, observing her parents intently and it was then that all their eyes flashed to her realizing she was seeing this and stunned with what she just said.

"Who told you about the dance of making love?" Katya asked with a smile looking at Lena who was still watching her parents in the window, who for now, seemed stuck in the same position taking their time.

"Mama told me last night when I asked her how babies got into Mama's tummy." Lena couldn't tear her fascinated gaze away, "She said that when Mama's and Daddy's want to make their kind of love and a baby they take their clothes off and dance in the bed connecting their parts like puzzle pieces and a tiny piece of Daddy goes to Mama and mixes with her tiny piece like Play-Dough to get a new piece that is a baby!"

"Like Play-Dough?" Weiss snickered trying not to laugh and absolutely stunned to hear her explain it so intently.

"Yes, like Play-Dough," Lena cocked her head to the side still watching her parents while the others were oblivious and fascinated watching Lena and listening to her knowledge of the dance of making love. "And then the baby grows for a long time in Mama's tummy. Mama said that I got into her tummy in one of the most beautiful dances ever." She smiled widely and then slanted an eyebrow to see her Daddy's hands on her Mama's waist picking her up against him and then pulling her down quickly onto his lap, "Are they connecting parts now?" She asked drawing their rapid attention back to the window where they saw the same motion repeated and all gasped and screamed wheeling around in the water to face away from the house with red faces and blushing laughter.

Lena turned her head over Kendall's shoulder completely intrigued with this dance between her Mama and Daddy, "Are they making a new baby?"

"Lena," Katya grabbed her niece's attention, "No Sweetheart, they aren't making another baby but you need to turn around and not watch them. That is Mama and Daddy's private dance we shouldn't be watching."

"Why aren't they making another baby? Are they just practicing… like I practice dancing?" Lena asked and a lot of snorted held in laughter rang around the blushing group.

"Well… yes they like to practice." Katya snickered and continued, "But they can't make anymore babies because Mama had a surgery so she and Daddy can't make them."

"Why did she have a surgery so she can't make more babies with Daddy?" Lena's inquisitive mind never ceased to learn and Katya sighed realizing this must be how she knew so much about the dance of making love if this was how the conversation went then.

"Because it's not healthy for Mama to have anymore babies. She got very sick when she had Nicolai and Nadia and she and Daddy decided they were very happy with the blessings they already had in you, Sydney, Julian, Nicolai and Nadia." Katya smiled with a sigh hoping that made some sense while the others looked at the two of them and felt their hearts heavy in that moment remembering how they almost lost Irina and the twins.

"But why do they keep practicing then if they can't make anymore babies?" Lena asked turning her head back slyly to look.

"Lena, no don't look!" Katya yelled softly trying not to laugh.

"Well, I hardly think its going to matter if she looks, Mio Amore as her conception was broadcast around the world and is regarded to this day as the hottest love scene in history." Marcelo snickered. "One day she's bound to know that everyone on the planet has seen how she was created."

The laughter was soft in agreement when they thought about it and looked at the little girl who would some day realize just what that meant.

"Yes, I know, Mio Amore," Katya smiled, "It's not Lena I'm protecting here but Jack. He'll be devastated enough as it is to hear she saw anything."

"Yeah!" Weiss laughed, "Look at how he reacted the other times we've caught them. Irina doesn't care and Jack's pretty much frozen in horror, though I must say… he's getting better at the not caring part." He thoughtfully tilted his head and laughed looking over at Lana and Lucious who were still wide-eyed with shock and dumbstruck smiles on their faces, "I know this must be a surreal moment for you but it's not all that uncommon around here anymore." He laughed, "They didn't exaggerate _anything_ of those two, wild crazies in there 'gravity of love' on film. They are madly in love with one another."

"I can see that." Lana blushed with a smile and a chuckle holding her husband's hand tightly under the water with the images of the Tsar she'd seen before on television, the films and in the news and print clashing with the images of the woman she'd met a week ago and was still slightly nervous around. She was everything those images held and more. Finding out her Tsar and Emperor Consort really were madly in love with each other with her own eyes only made her unable to stop smiling.

"Aunt Katya… I asked you why they keep practicing if Mama can't have anymore babies?" Lena brought their attention back to the topic with her determination to understand.

"I don't know, maybe you should ask your Daddy." Weiss laughed and snickered loudly when both Sophia and Katya hit him simultaneously on the arm for the suggestion.

"Lena, Mama and Daddy keep practicing because they like the dance. They are very in love with one and another and still like to feel it and show it to each other even if they can't make a baby from it." Katya tried to explain though still smiling at the image of Lena asking Jack and the mischievous part of her thinking about how she would love to see that, "You like to practice dancing in your ballet even though you aren't always doing a recital, right?"

"Yes. I love to dance with Mama!" Lena smiled happily thinking about doing ballet with her mother.

"Yes, and Daddy does too!" Weiss couldn't help himself he was about to double over from laughter.

"She's the best-est dancer ever!" Lena smiled with a giggle.

"Yes, she is." Kendall added quietly and then realized what he'd said and his eyes flashed up to Judy's, "What? I was talking about her ballet skills that's all!" He tried to explain immediately and sent them all into hysterics including Judy.

"Mama's very flexible." Lena smiled looking back over Kendall's shoulder while they were distracted laughing, "See!" She pointed to where Irina was still sitting on Jack's lap with her naked back towards them only now her right leg was moving up over Jack's chest straight up and down and then brushing against the side of his head before dropping her calve and foot over his shoulder.

_"Oh God!" "Sweet Jesus!" "Mio Dios!" "Holy Hell!" "Go Rina!" "My God!" "Jeezus Pete!"_ Came out in a chorus when heads had turned to see what she was seeing even if they knew they shouldn't and then whipped quickly around with Kendall physically turning Lena's head away with gentle fingers to her face.

"Do we turn around, close our eyes and walk back to the beach or do we just walk in backwards or do we wait?" Judy laughed softly blushing bright red and impressed once again with Irina's ability to move.

"Well we can't wait out here for them to finish!" Weiss shook his head with a sigh and a laugh, "We'll turn into prunes in this water knowing them! They'll be at it until after the sun comes up. And how do we know when they are finished anyway? Do we wait to hear the glass shatter or what?" He laughed and so did everyone else, hard. "I say we turn around close our eyes and walk in."

"Good plan." They agreed turning around, closing their eyes and walking in towards the beach all laughing while holding onto each other to keep from falling and Kendall's hand over Lena's eyes as they knew she'd keep watching.

"What are you guys doing?" Sydney asked with a peculiar smile standing next to Vaughn on the beach having come upon the group of people emerging from the sea with their eyes closed and some holding hands to block their view while laughing softly.

"You don't want to know, Syd just don't look up at the house." Weiss laughed wading through the last couple of feet holding onto Sophia and Katya's hands with eyes still closed and then flashing open to look at her.

Sydney and Vaughn both turned their heads instantly to look up and gasped loudly to see her parents and the impossibly crazy position her mother's leg was in.

"I told you not to look!" Weiss laughed, covering her eyes while Vaughn started laughing and they marched towards the house with eyes all on the ground.

* * *

They were getting breakfast ready in the morning with Sydney and Irina standing side by side at the counter when Irina spoke with a smile in her voice and on her face.

"How about from now on you take the north side of the island and we'll take the south so we don't have another run in while we're here like we did last night. I thought your father might have a heart attack from seeing you." Irina spoke quietly but couldn't help chuckling softly while peeling the pineapple.

"Are you sure it wasn't from the position you were in with your leg over his shoulder last night?" Sydney threw back at her with a saucy grin feeling bold after several Mimosas this morning to help her face them both after the dual catch.

Irina's face flashed to Sydney's with wide-eyes and a frozen smile on her face stopping her fruit peeling wondering how in the world Sydney knew about such a detailed move.

"Yeah… we weren't the only ones caught last night," Sydney enjoyed the look on her mother's face, "Perhaps next time you guys decide to deal with your unfinished business… you should close the blinds on that enormous glass window that shows everything to the world outside."

"You saw…" Irina gasped quietly with an amused and stunned expression on her face slightly horrified to think of 'how much' Sydney had seen and hoped she had stopped watching just after the leg over the shoulder as it got 'very naughty' from there.

"Yeah… me and Vaughn and everyone else!" She added in a whisper looking back at the table buzzing with people and children, "They were all taking a midnight swim and said they felt like they caught a 'Swim-In' show."

"They watched?" Irina's voice raised slightly in a whisper horrified with the possibility seeing Lana and Lucious in that 'group' of everyone.

"No," Sydney giggled and shook her bubbly head on her champagne high, "They saw and then walked into the shore with their eyes closed and laughing. That is the way Vaughn and I stumbled upon them… and then you! But we all walked away quickly after!"

"Oh thank God…" Irina sighed, wiping the hair off her forehead with the back of her hand holding the knife. "It's a good thing you walked away when you did… you really might have needed therapy if you stuck around to watch after that." She teased.

"Mom, stop!" Sydney whisper shouted even as her shoulder's shook with laughter and blushed madly completely squicked out.

"Oh come on, Sydney!" Irina laughed in the same manner, "I saw you in action there and know you definitely got that flexibility from me."

"Mom!" Sydney play scolded her laughing and trying to finish making the juice.

"Well, let's not tell your father as he's already traumatized enough from last night." Irina smiled softly still laughing softly.

"You really did a number on him then?" Sydney couldn't resist without her normal sensors in place, sleeping now from the alcohol, at taking another jab at her mother in playing banter. Of course, she still refused to think of the 'him' in this equation as her father.

"Sydney Anne!" Irina laughed and hit her with a towel across the butt.

"Okay, okay but stop teasing me then!" Sydney smiled and filled her glass with more Mimosa; going to be needing that to look across the table at her father and NOT see her mother's ghost leg draped over his shoulder. "I wouldn't tell Dad anyway… hell no!" She whisper yelled again laughing with her mother, "And I don't think the others will say anything either as Lana and Lucious, I think are still quite stunned…" She giggled evil-like throwing that in and hearing her mother sigh and seeing her shoulder's slump in slight horror, "But Lena apparently saw you too and I can't guarantee she won't talk."

Irina's eyes flashed back to Sydney's and as if right on cue, Lena asked very loudly, "Daddy, why do you keep practicing the dance of making love with Mama if you can't have anymore babies?"

Jack's eyes went impossibly wide and all motion ceased in the kitchen and adjoining dining room with the question, with only the youngest children continuing on as normal.

"Aunt Katya said you keep practicing because you like the dance with Mama because you are very 'in love' and want to keep dancing to show each other that love… even if you can't make any more babies… Is that why Daddy? Is that why you keep practicing the dance of making love with Mama?"

Jack was flabbergasted having been completely blindsided not even aware Lena knew there was such a thing as making love nor that she had such an extensive knowledge of it. "How do you know that Daddy and Mama keeping practicing the dance?" He almost choked on the word speaking barely above a whisper looking only at Lena seemingly forgetting about everyone else in the room as her intense little gaze held his.

"I saw you dancing with her last night in your bed through the window when we were swimming. You were kissing Mama and she didn't have any clothes on and you didn't have a shirt on but I couldn't see if you had pants but Mama said when you do the dance of love you take all your clothes off and… and-" Lena started to explain and Jack quickly cut her off.

"Ah! Ah! Ok! Ok!" He held his hands up in horror and Irina bit her lip to keep from laughing even with wide stunned eyes. His eyes flashed up to Irina's realizing she was the one who had apparently told their daughter about lovemaking and Irina gave him a silent apology with smiling eyes for not warning him. "Yes…" Jack turned back to Lena still looking at him, "What your Aunt Katya told you is why I keep practicing the dance with Mama." His eyes darted to Katya who gave him an apologetic shrug with laughing eyes and shaking body from holding it in.

"Hmm, ok." Lena looked thoughtful for a moment and then went back to her coloring as she did every morning before breakfast.

"What is the dance of making love?" Nadia asked having heard the conversation with her tuned in little ears, "And why does Mama dance without any clothes on?"

"Oh God…" Irina whispered under her breath shaking her head and letting it fall to her chest with hand to forehead turning around with embarrassment.

"Can I dance the dance of making love without my clothes on too?" Anya asked with excited eyes at the prospect. Already liking being naked and dancing and combining them sounded fun.

"Me too!" Nadia shouted with a smile and a laugh.

"Me too!" "Me too!" "Me too!" "Me too!" Eva, Ria, Isabella and Mia chorused in simultaneously and immediately began stripping out of their clothes, as did Nadia and Anya with giggling laughter.

"No! No! No! No!" A chorus of parents immediately chimed in rushing to their children and ceasing the strip down though most of them were mostly naked only now in their tiny bikini bottoms only wearing their suits and already peeling off their tank top shirts.

"See what you've started!" Kendall couldn't help but laugh in the corner at Irina, "A revolution of tiny naked Derevko women!"

"But I want to dance the dance of love making without my clothes on like Mama!" Nadia stomped her foot protesting with a sad look and tears in her eyes looking at her father who had stopped her from taking the rest of her clothes off.

"You can't until you're older… MUCH older and not until you are married!" Jack answered quickly already sweating and looking helplessly at Irina to do something before their four year broke down crying.

"Sweetheart," Irina was kneeling on her other side and turned Nadia, "The dance of making love is very, very special and its only between grown ups like Mama and Daddy okay?" She wiped Nadia's tears with a soft smile, hating to have to use this reason of being 'too little' remembering how that felt when she was little. "You are too little to do that dance but I tell you what? You can have your own dance and you can keep your shirt off if you want ok?"

Jack's eyes flashed back to hers horrified and she tried not to laugh while she kept talking to her daughter, "You have to keep your bottoms on and you can only do your special dance while we're here on the island because it's your little girls special island dance and it stays here. Okay?" She asked knowing she was distracting the girls and giving them something without completely shutting down on their requests when they were really too little to understand it all anyway.

"Okay, Mama!" Nadia hugged her excitedly with a wide smile, "Can we go do our special dance outside now?"

"Sure." Irina smiled with a soft laugh kissing her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Nadia smiled brushing noses with her and then taking off outside followed by the other girls just in front of the house all in giggling laughter.

"Me too, Mama? Can I go?" Lena asked looking at Irina with an almost sad look not wanting to be left out of the 'little girls special island dance' because she was the 'biggest little girl.'

"Oh course!" Irina smiled and Lena flew around the table, flinging her arms wildly around Irina with a big smile and kiss and then running outside tearing her shirt off as she went.

**_*Thank Heaven for Little Girls*_**

Looking out the window at the group of little girls dancing around wildly in just their suit bottoms and laughing and giggling hysterically was too adorable for words.

"It's like Girls Gone Wild!" Weiss laughed seeing his daughter shimmying down on her tiny haunches with a giggle and then back up doing the 'mashed potato' she loved so much.

"Yeah… this was the part I was talking about a few Christmas's ago when I said they're all going to be teenagers together!" Kendall laughed at the looks on the fathers faces suddenly with the idea, "Derevko Girls Gone Wild, indeed."

"Oh, they're cute!" Judy smiled slapping him lightly, "Its just innocent little girls dancing! Don't make them grow up faster in the minds eye then they have to!"

"I've got to get this on film." Vaughn smiled and went to get the cameras.

"They are so adorable." Lana smiled loving the laughter on her little girl's face having so much fun with the girls her age.

"Are you sure you want your kids hanging out with this posse?" Kendall teased her with a smile looking at the little girls and feeling his own heartstrings tugging at how entirely cute they were, "They're bound to get into major mischief considering who their parents are!" He laughed and Lana smiled chuckling as well.

"What were you thinking telling her about all that?" Jack asked Irina with mind short-circuiting as to the 'why' his little girls were now dancing mostly naked outside, "And then telling her it was okay to dance without her shirt on?"

"Jack…" Irina smiled laughing softly seeing him so flustered, "She asked me the night before last how babies got into Mama's tummy which isn't surprising considering her age and the fact that 'everyone," She gestured to the two babies Roman and Alexei only at two and one month old and then the baby and toddler boys around them playing with blocks and trucks, "Has been having babies around her lately. Sydney was the same age when she asked me the same question."

"She was?" Jack asked not remembering that either or maybe his mind had blocked out the horrific event he thought.

"Yes," Irina laughed and Sydney blushed behind her dimply grin looking from them to her oldest little sister on the lawn shirtless and laughing in hysteria having so much fun. "Where as Sydney was content with me telling her it was when Mommy's and Daddy's want to make a baby they make love and was fine with that and moved immediately into asking for her baby brother or sister…" She smiled over at Sydney, "Lena wanted to know the 'how' you make love and you know her mind… she kept asking question after question until she was satisfied she understood."

"Oh God…" Jack gasped pinching his brow, "And she saw us last night? How?"

"Uh… Jack, we all saw you." Weiss laughed unable to stop himself from goading him now that the silence had been broken of the secret. "We went for a midnight swim and caught the beginning of Act One through that very large glass window that made the two of you look like you were on display at Macy's." He laughed, "Or Frederick's of Hollywood." Thinking that might be a better store for that kind of display.

Jack could only shake his head, "Okay but… why on earth did you just tell Nadia it was okay to go dancing without her shirt on?" He didn't like this idea at all.

"Sweetheart… she's only four. Lena's only five and the rest are all the same age or younger. They are little girls. This is not far out of the realm of what little girls do. They just want to have fun and don't understand when you just tell them they can't. Katya and I both went through it and Sydney too! She went through the same stage at this age they are now and she grew out of it fairly quickly." She smiled back at her daughter again with laughter in her eyes remembering.

"She did? When? I don't remember her ever wanting to dance around without her shirt on at this age." Jack asked shaking his head not recalling that at all.

"That's because you were in India." Irina swallowed hard and spoke softly remembering the long missions he used to go on that took him away from them for months at a time, India being one of the longest. "She discovered it's fun on the 4th of July at the beach dancing to the music before the fireworks when I was trying to change her out of her swim suit and into warm, dry clothes."

Hearing that… that he was in 'India' on 'that' mission that led to the toaster fire all sort of clicked that reality into place for the others standing around the room of what they'd heard about or saw in the film but to actually hear about something else in that time frame had them all pausing with heavy hearts for them all. Sydney didn't remember it until just now either and now, it was only a flash.

"Oh…" Jack looked at her apologetically for being away and for missing so much with Sydney… even these little things and he gave his daughter the same silent apology with his eyes.

"It will be okay, I promise." She spoke softly to him, touching his face gently feeling badly for the flash of sadness she felt and then saw in both his and Sydney's eyes at the reminder of how much he'd missed in her life… they both had. Her lips kissed his gently before turning around to finish breakfast while the others watched the show outside and kept an eye on the boys.

Jack's gaze went from Irina's back at the counter to Lena and Nadia dancing outside with his grand and godchildren and then to Sydney and then swept over the circle of the them again seeing another lifetime ago with 'Laura' standing at the counter, and Sydney dancing wildly around the house while cleaning with her mother and remembering how happy she was always then with a smile on her face, sad that he'd missed 'this' look of joy he saw now on his littlest girls faces, on Sydney's. She was smiling her famous grin he loved so much watching her sisters, nieces and her own girls now. He walked up beside her and pulled her to him with his hand gently to her neck and kissed her head. "I'm sorry I wasn't there." He whispered just for her.

"I know you are." Sydney smiled leaning her head down against his shoulder, "And I know that if your life was different you would have been… its okay. You did what you had to do… I'm just glad you're here now."

* * *

**_*Mother and Child Reunion* _**

"Come with me," Irina came up behind Sydney later in the day after an exhausting game of 'Red Rover-Red Rover' on the beach and hours of swimming.

Everyone was now lounging on the sand taking in the sun and playing in the sand with the kids. She laced her fingers with Sydney and walked them towards the edge of the foliage where a giant family hammock hung between two palm trees looking out over the ocean.

"I'm exhausted and need a rest and want to snuggle with you."

"Okay," Sydney laughed softly following her mother into the hammock and settling with Sydney's head on Irina's shoulder and arm draped over her mother's stomach.

"I think tonight is one of those nights we're going to boot your father out so you can sleep with me." Irina smiled moving her head to rest her cheek against the top of Sydney's watching everyone on the beach. She was feeling especially clingy to Sydney right now after the reminder this morning of her little girl, and what was missed and then being taken away from her for far too long. They'd still done their twice a month sleepovers just the two of them, booting out Jack to the guest room so they could snuggle together and have their own time and chats in the night that left them laughing at times and in tears at others.

"I'd like that." Sydney smiled and was quiet for a while, both of them just enjoying the contact and togetherness swaying softly in the light breeze. Irina was playing with Sydney's hair and Sydney was running her thumb over her mother's bicep, seemingly holding Irina to her with the arm stretched across her body.

"How often did you used to come here?" Sydney asked realizing she never had and then smiled softly once again thinking of the island's name, The Adorable Sydney.

"I never stayed in one place very long… I always had to be on the move. Especially the last couple of years after everyone started hunting for 'The Man," Irina sighed, "After that I stayed in one place a week or so but never more then two in the exact same location before moving to the next and changing them around. I'd come here after I was wounded most of the time." She'd paused for a moment with her fingers over Sydney's ear in brushing her hair back thinking about those times.

"So you really never did have any kind of a 'home'… just a bunch of houses you'd temporarily occupy and then move on." Sydney spoke softly in her own contemplation of how sad and hard that really had to have been on her mother. "Well, I'm glad you're home now." She smiled and pulled her mother closer to her. "I really missed you." She added in almost a whisper still feeling that loss of time even after being together the last six years. Not nearly enough together time to make up for the missing and lonely twenty-one… for both of them.

"I really missed you too." Irina smiled with tears building in her eyes speaking in the same whispered tones, "My heart ached so long for you… it doesn't seem to know how to stop… even with you in my arms years later. It can never get enough of you…"

"Mine too…" Sydney agreed with a smile and her own teary eyes, "I don't think that's a bad thing though," She laughed softly, "It's nice to hear someone can't get enough of you… time with you… of course its nice to be happy with what you have, but… why should we settle for that after a lifetime of doing so, is my theory? We make our own rules and don't follow guidelines or what others deem normal… we never have." She laughed again.

"I agree." Irina laughed softly with her and fingered away the stray tear. "Lena asked me the other night if my heart broke after losing your brother… and losing you and your father," She sniffled trying not to cry, "I told her it was very broken for a long, long time… she wanted to know if Papa Alexei fixed it." She laughed softly as did Sydney at Lena's cuteness, "I told her no… he couldn't but she did… and you and your father and Katya and Julian. You all fixed it… She wanted to know how she fixed it of course," She chuckled again with Sydney about Lena's wanting to know everything, "And I told her that by being born she reminded me I still had a heart… for the longest time I felt like I didn't have a heart… she reminded me that I still had one, but it was you Sydney…" Irina paused and Sydney felt her own heartbeat pickup seeing her mother's doing so, "When I first saw you again in Taipei… you reminded me I had, had a heart once… I wouldn't let myself feel that… had closed it off… so I could still love you and think of you… but without thinking of what your loss had cost me… my heart. You were the best of me… just as Lena is and Nadia and Nicholas… my children." She smiled, "I just wanted you to know… and thank you again… for being the reason to change who I used to be… to remember that I did have a heart and just because it wasn't in me then, or at least I couldn't feel it with all its pieces scattered… you were a large part of it… still out there, living and breathing and loving and amazing. I couldn't have asked for more. You kept that part of me alive… and you gave it back to me again."

"Mom…" Sydney pulled her head back to look at her mother's face with her own tear filled eyes, "We've talked about this before… you don't have to keep thanking me for anything but especially not for loving you… I know I helped to fix your broken heart, but you helped to fix mine too. You took a part of mine with you when you left just as I held onto a piece of yours… finally when we were reunited, our hearts could both be mended with those missing pieces."

"Sydney, I'm going to keep thanking you… telling you because I will never forget what you've done for me. Without you none of this would have ever been possible. You lit the spark of hope inside me," Irina's tears finally fell silently down her cheeks as she smiled at Sydney thumbing away hers. "I will tell you everyday until my dying breath how much I love you." She smiled, "I made a vow and I will keep it. You will never again have to doubt that I love you."

"Mom, I don't doubt that you love me!" Sydney smiled through her own exasperated tears, "I know how much you love me and I feel it all the time."

"Well good, then I'll keep up with what I'm doing so your remain feeling that way." Irina teased and Sydney laughed shaking her head with a sigh before kissing her mother.

"You're so stubborn!" Sydney smiled under her breath settling back in against Irina's shoulder.

"Says the kettle to the pot out of the same kitchen line." Irina responded quietly with a laugh and felt Sydney shaking with laughter beside her, "Its good stubborn though, right? Your father just doesn't understand that about us. Its good stubborn." She laughed again and Sydney did too.

"I think this has all been good for Aunt Katya," Sydney smiled after a moment looking over to where her aunt was under a large umbrella in a lounge chair in the sand watching her grandchildren playing. "She seems to be making a phenomenal recovery. Her strength is coming back and she's putting on weight again thankfully. She looks amazing." Sydney smiled happily seeing her aunt laughing and looking so beautiful with the scarf tied around her head where gorgeous new black hair was growing and the sunglasses over her eyes making her look every bit the model she once was and nothing like the dying frail woman of only a couple of months ago.

"She is amazing." Irina smiled over at her sister with nothing but pride and love.

"So are you." Sydney smiled catching her cousin Sophia's eyes and waving her over and to bring her mother. "I am proud to come from such a long line of amazing women."

"Would you two care to join us for a lazy afternoon nap?" Sydney smiled up to where Katya and Sophia were approaching holding hands. "There is plenty of room."

"We'd love to." Katya smiled and Sydney and Irina shifted over in the massive hammock, "I was just thinking about how I should probably go in and lay down but this… this is much better."

When the four of them were settled Sydney and Sophia were on the outside and Irina and Katya on the inside with all of them looking over at the children playing in the sand.

"So do tell us, Darling Sister, how it came to be that your adorable middle child approached the subject about the dance of making love and where babies come from?" Katya laughed softly watching Lena running in and out of the water with her buckets getting water to fill up the castle moat, "I am going to buy her something just for allowing me that vision of Jack going absolutely ashen in panic stricken mode this morning with her question of why you keep practicing? That was priceless."

They all laughed softly with Irina still shaking her head, "We were looking at the stars and talking about them and she just suddenly says that I must love her a lot as she can't count all the stars or the grains of sand," Irina laughed softly and they did too with an 'awe,' "And then that led to 'yes of course' and the explanations of why and we started talking about how she is a part of my heart as are all of my children," She snuggled her face against Sydney's again, "And how my heart was broken and how it was fixed and when it was fixed by Alexei she was actually growing already inside me and then of course we finished out that conversation but her little curious mind then came back to the 'how' she got into my tummy to begin with and how all babies got in there and…" She sighed heavily with a laugh, "Well she kept asking question after question until she was satisfied with my answer."

"She sounds like Sophia at that age. I thought I was going to have to have Marcelo bring home models from the hospital to show her because her questions were so relentless." Katya added and they all laughed, "Be prepared daughter of mine for I already see the same incessant questions looming in Mia's eyes."

"Well I'll be sure that if she goes stargazing anytime soon its with her Daddy so that if the topic somehow shifts to how babies get into Mama's it will be her father that has to try to explain that one." Sophia smiled and they all burst out laughing thinking about how that conversation would go.

"Stargazing…" Sydney snickered thinking about how something so off topic would lead to the discussion of baby making, "Wait… you've got to hear this." She smiled against her mother's chest looking at her oldest daughter making a sand angel with her sister, "Anya, come here please. Mommy wants to ask you something."

Anya jumped up from the sand and ran over quickly followed the rest of the little girls except for Isabella who was already down for her own nap having worn herself out from swimming and Mia who was busy burying her daddy in the sand. She stood before them backed up by her own pack of little girls, Lena, Nadia, Eva, and Ria.

"Sweetheart, who hung the moon?" Sydney asked with a smile thinking back to a conversation she'd had with her mother long ago while pregnant with this little girl about such.

"Babushka." "Mama." Came out in a chorus from them all and making everyone in the hammock laugh and Irina's eyes form new tears behind her smile.

"Awe you sleeping?" Eva asked with a tilted head, "Gonna take a little nap?" Her cute voice mimicked the one she'd heard from her mother and sent them all into giggles again.

"Yes, Sweetheart," Irina smiled at her adorable grandchild with the dark hair and dark eyes. "Would you like to lay with us and have a big snuggle?"

"Oh yes! Can we?" Nadia bounced excitedly beside her and was already clamoring to get up onto the hammock with Sophia's help and one by one the littlest Romanov-Derevkos were brought into the space.

"Mia!" Sophia called out, "Come her Darling!" She called to her daughter wanting her to be in on this action and Mia quickly abandoned her father buried in the sand for her mother and all the action with the other girls.

_***My Love Is Your Love***_

Lena was lying over one of Sydney's legs using her sister's stomach as a pillow and her niece Eva was draped across Sydney's chest on the inside towards her mother. Ria was curled up next to Irina with her back to Eva and head on Irina's chest while Nadia on the other side used her mother's stomach as her pillow and had legs tangling with her niece Anya, just behind her. Anya was curled up against Katya with her head on her aunt's chest and Mia was in between her mother and grandmother sandwiched in between the two with Sophia spooned up behind her and letting Mia use her bent arm as her daughter's pillow.

"Hello!" Weiss called out buried up to his head in the sand, "Anybody going to get me out of this? Mia? Where'd you go? You deserted Daddy here!"

The women and girls couldn't stop their laughter and giggles seeing just his head sticking out and laughed harder when Jack plucked the umbrella out of the sand and moved it over Weiss's head to block the sun instead of digging him out with a smile. He put a glass of lemonade with a straw down in front of Weiss's head and then patted him before leaving with Weiss yelling out, "This isn't funny, Jack!" And everyone roared with laughter while Vaughn got the cameras out once again.

"Are they all in the hammock?" Lana asked Jack with a smile when he came to sit beside them under their own umbrella watching the boys playing in the sand. Her eyes had looked back to see the mass of bodies swaying in the large white net between the trees.

"Looks that way." Jack smiled happily hearing their soft laughter and chatter. "They like to congregate at sleeping times." He laughed thinking about how that was true.

"Like witches in a coven!" Weiss yelled from the sand not far from them with the back of his head to them and everyone laughed, "Sophia don't leave me here!" He yelled again and then laughed when his son, Felix, crawled over and sat down in front of him, dumping a scoop of sand on his head and sending them into hysteria.

"Irina always used to sleep with Sydney when she was little and she still does with all of them, especially if she's been away on business somewhere and missing them badly." Jack continued seeing the girls in their own world and ignoring everything else.

"Katya did the same thing with the twins but has never seemed to stop with Sophia either." Marcelo smiled with a wide grin so utterly happy to look over and still see his beautiful wife after such a close call. "My wife told me their mother Anastasia used to do the same with she and Irina and then Rina and Katya shared a bed as girls for many years until she left for America." His eyes flashed over to Jack with a small smile, "No matter how happy she was with me, without both her mother or sister to snuggle and cuddle anymore there was always something missing for her; that girl talk; that bonding. She got some of that back with Sophia but truly that girlish spark in her eyes came back after reuniting with Irina. The first night after Irina woke up from surgery after Moscow; was the first night they slept in the same bed since they were fifteen and sixteen. Katya called me the next morning crying… with a relief and comfort in her voice I hadn't heard for a long time."

"They are, all very close then." Lana smiled feeling tears form behind her sunglasses looking at the strong women who led her country all with eyes closed and smiles on their faces drifting on to sleep in the hammock gently swaying them in the breeze.

Marcelo smiled with a slow nodding of his head, "Knowing Anastasia," He smiled thinking of the mother-in-law that he loved so much, "She is looking down right now at all of them, the pieces of her heart, and smiling with such pride and love to see the Romanov women tradition of bonding continue." His smile grew, "When they are all together like that, her heart is whole again."

"It's beautiful." Judy smiled with her own tears in her eyes.

"Yes, it is." Karen smiled sipping on her drink and seeing Vaughn moving stealthily towards the mass of sleeping women and filming them with a smile before taking a few snapshots of the precious picture. They all looked too incredibly beautiful not to and she was happy to see his mind was thinking in tandem with hers as she was about to get up and take one herself.

Jack looked at them with a smile and then to his brother-in-law and back, hearing Marcelo speaking of knowing 'Anastasia' always made him sad and a tiny bit jealous that he'd never had the same opportunity to know the great woman who had such an impact on his wife's life. The more stories he heard about her, the more he admired her and loved the woman he never met but was so thankful for. She had given him, his everything… twice. He took comfort in the fact that his son was in good hands in Heaven with such a wonderful Babushka to take care of him and at times he'd had fleeting thoughts of maybe that's why, she passed away just before their son did, so that she would be there waiting… with open arms to take care of such a precious little angel for her daughter.

* * *

July brought them back to Russia after stopping in the United State for a couple of weeks and taking in some beloved Dodger's baseball games and as soon as their feet hit Russian soil their carefree days of no stress and worry were over within days of being back when the third strike fell upon them.

Nicholas took a nasty fall down the last four marble steps outside Peterhof running too fast and playing Hide-n-Seek with his siblings and cousins. He cried more scared than anything when Jack rushed to his side first, the closest to him after they all watched in slow motion horror to see him flying face first, end over end. Within minutes it had become clear the bleeding was going to be severe as huge bruises began forming everywhere his little four-year old body made contact.

Irina gave him an emergency injection of the factor they always carried with them along with her own insulin supplies and couldn't stop the silent tears streaming down her face trying to be strong looking at him turning black and purple before her.

By the time they'd gotten him to the hospital he looked like he'd gone ten rounds with Mohammad Ali. His little eye completely swollen shut, his nose gushing blood and from his split lip and his body was covered with angry welts and bruises that only made them worry more for the bleeding done internally and especially to his brain having hit his head so hard at the bottom.

By another miracle, there was no brain damage but his Hemophilia doctor said it was time to try the new experimental replacement gene therapy they'd been working on in their research labs with Irina's own genetics, and Sergei as one of doctors leading the team in a race to find a cure for his Godson and cousin.

With the gene therapy, Nicholas would only have to come into the hospital once a year at the least and several at the most and no longer need the daily injections of the factor. The idea was, to use a genetically mutated vector virus to carry Irina's actual Factor producing genes through Nicholas's blood stream and have them fuse with his own defunct genes to start producing his own clotting factor.

In the past, this therapy only provided a temporary 'patch' on the mutated genes but with the new research going on with Irina's genetics, the doctors were hoping that a variation of this procedure would not only 'patch' Nicholas's defunct genes but, 'correct' them, permanently. It had never been tried before. At worst, it wouldn't work but still 'patch' and he'd have to come back in the next year or several to get a new 'patch' from Irina.

The biggest danger of this entire procedure was in order for the transfusion of Irina's gene cells to be accepted and for his body not to build antibodies to the vector virus, Nicholas's immune system would have to be suppressed just as they had to do with Katya. He would have to go through chemotherapy but not radiation, just as she had, only he was four years old and Jack and Irina had a major decision to make: take the big risk with suppressing his immune system and trying the therapy and possibly a cure or take the big risk of him bleeding out again while they waited until he got older to do the procedure but in the meantime his body was being severely damaged with every bleed and fall, irreversibly so.

It wasn't a decision to be made lightly and the both of them hovered over his battered little unconscious form, talked excessively with doctors and their family getting their opinions.

Marcelo, Alexei and Sergei, the three doctors in the family and one of them part of the research team all voiced that though the danger was high, they should take the risk and do the procedure now, not wait until he was older when permanent damage to his joints and muscles were already done from his childhood.

They'd waited one week for his body to heal under the heavy dose of factor supplemented to him, before they headed down one of the scariest paths of their lives and hooked the tiny boy up to the toxic chemotherapy formula that would kill his Immune System just five months after doing the same with Katya.

Irina felt like she was back in hell… this year was already sheer torture just seven months in.

When he lost his appetite and stopped eating from the drugs they put a feeding tube in just as they'd done with Katya and hearing him crying and trying to grab at it when he woke up so weak and not liking the tube in his nose had done Irina in. She couldn't stand to see her child in pain and not be able to do anything about it especially when his tiny broken voice was begging, "_Help, Mama please! Take it out! Please, Mama, please! Help, Mama, please!"_ With his little arms tied down with leather straps to keep him from trying to pull all his tubing out which he'd already done twice.

Knowing what it was like to be strapped down and in pain, Irina said _to hell with it_ and un-strapped him, curling in beside him in bed and laying with him, holding him tightly in her arms rather then the restraints while she sung him to sleep. When she stepped out of his room, she lost it in Jack's arms on emotional overload and started doubting whether or not they were doing the right thing, scared to death they were going to lose him in the process.

Trying to explain to their little ones what was going on with Nicholas and why they couldn't go into his room was even more difficult then it had been with Katya as they couldn't seem to comprehend that someone of their size and age could be so sick having never known another child like him.

Nadia and Lena both cried missing him and Jaxx refused to go to bed for nights on end, ending up in bed with Sydney and Vaughn so distraught over losing his roommate and best buddy while Nicholas was in the hospital. Sydney came up with the ingenious plan where they could all have their bedtime stories together still, every night that he was in the hospital, the little munchkins would come to the hospital in their pajamas ready for bed and all of them would sit on a hospital bed pushed in front of the glass window to Nicholas' closed off room.

Lena would hold up the book so Nicholas could see the pictures through the window while Sydney read the story to them on the outside and Irina holding Nicholas inside, would read the words long ago memorized to him on the inside. This plan brought many smiles and something all of them looked forward to each night. When the last story was read, each little face would kiss the glass giving Nicholas his goodnight kiss with a wave and a smile and then head home, all of them falling asleep in the car on the way there where they were easily transferred into their beds. It was a way for them to keep at least one routine as they almost always had story time together at night.

The hospital staff found it entirely too adorable to see all the little Imperial cherubs being so sweet in their pajamas reading to the little Grand Duke through the glass and soon, word got out and the well-wishers began sending in their favorite books as gifts to the children to read each night; enough that there would be an extensive new collection for Irina to donate to the orphanage when they were through this horrendous process.

Books were coming from all over the world and the kids loved hearing about where the book came from and would look it up on a map of the world. Every time a new book came from somewhere new, they would mark it with a flag tack to the map now hanging on the wall opposite of Nicholas's glass window.

Irina would slip away twice a day to sit with Nadia and Lena each alone for at least an hour a piece while Jack stayed with Nicholas making sure her girls knew how much she loved them and was only away from home so much because Nicholas was so sick. Her little angels always gave her bright smiles and assured her they knew Mama was taking good care of Nicolai and he was sad and needed her a lot right now.

By the time the day came for his transfusion he was extremely weak and tired and only wanted to sleep, holding tightly to his Lion and his Mama who never left his side unless she absolutely had to during the process. As with Katya, the vector virus carrying the cells was administered through a catheter threaded into his heart. Now all that was left to do… was wait. Again.

"Mama," Nicholas suddenly spoke in the dark one evening, having been spooned back against his mother and so still she thought he was already asleep.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" She moved her face down closer to his on the pillow and rubbed her thumb over his little arm from where hers curled over him.

"If I were to shrink you to the size of a baby in a Mama's tummy… you could fit through a mouse's door." He answered her seriously as if he'd thought about this awhile and Irina couldn't stop shaking from held in laughter, "You could probably drive my toys, too."

And just as quickly as he said it, he was sleeping leaving Irina to smile in the darkness, pressing her lips to the back of his head still covered with hair and thankful it hadn't fallen out, that she knew in her heart, he was going to be okay.

**_*Chevaliers de Sangreal*_**

Unlike the bone marrow that had to grow and graft before they could see any results in Katya, the first panel of blood done to Nicholas in the week after held some spectacular results. So far, Irina's genes had not only patched the defunct parts of Nicholas's but had completely corrected them.

The doctor ordered the test done ten times in comparison before he took the news to the anxious parents not wanting to give them any false hopes but astounded. He let Sergei who was part of the research team break the news.

"So…" Jack hedged while they were all gathered anxiously in the waiting room, with Julian now lying in the room with his sleeping little brother who was now on the rapid mend. Not from the transfusion but from the destruction the chemo had wrecked so they could treat him. It had wiped his tiny little body out but he was bouncing back more everyday.

"So… we ran the test ten times over the last two days taking four different samples of blood as you know," Sergei began with sweating palms and his face slowly spreading into a wide grin, "The genes from Aunt Rina not only patched his defunct Factor genes… but completely corrected…we can't find any traces of the Hemophilia."

"Are you saying… you just cured him? Not just treated him… but cured him?" Sydney asked astounded that this news was too good and too enormous in its reality to be true.

"It looks that way, yes." Sergei smiled and the other doctors including Marcelo and Alexei who were smiling in disbelief as well nodding. "It worked. Your amazing abnormal genes once again pulled off the unbelievable," He looked at his aunt with tears in his eyes of pride, "You cured him… your genes were able to do what no other genes have every been able to… breakdown and replace the defunct ones causing his body to naturally take over and heal himself."

"Are you hearing what he's saying, Child?" Alexei asked with a smile seeing her in shock and placed his hand on her shoulder gently, "Your genes cured your son. We'll have to do more trials with other hemophilia patients to make certain and find a way to replicate your gene Factor but… Child, you've just provided the world with a cure for Hemophilia."

Irina was too stunned to move or say anything.

"But how would that work though? Because, like Lena and Mom who were both carries but don't have the disease themselves, they can still pass it on?" Sydney asked rapidly with pounding heart thinking about the implications of all this. Her mother may be done having children but her sister would some day and possibly pass this disease onto them.

"Their genes would need to be replaced in the same way that we just did with Nicolai 'before' they have children. If everyone in the world who was a carrier did this, in less then five years I'd say that the disease would become completely obsolete, as it would no longer be passed down." Sergei smiled never more glad that he went into the study of hemophilia and genetics when he first found out his cousin would be born with the disease as his great uncle had before him and wanted to find a cure before Lena and Nicolai were old enough to pass it on. If this proved true, he had succeeded and been part of the team that had changed the world.

"So if Lena is treated in the same way… some day, not necessarily now because she's so little and not ready to have children, but some day… she won't pass this on to any of her children? It will stop with her?" Irina asked finally finding her voice and it was shaky as was her body.

"Yes." Sergei smiled.

"But won't the chemo damage her ovaries and prevent her from having children anyway?" Katya asked concerned knowing from her own experience having just gone through this.

"Just like with Nicolai's chances of reproduction later, that is unlikely as we're not actually using the dose of chemotherapy to kill cancer cells but a lower administered dose to take out the Immune System for only a short period of time. Hopefully in the next few years we'll be able to come up with a way to administer this as a cure without having to use chemotherapy but in the meantime, I don't think its going to have any major effects. The biggest concern for reproduction is those who receive radiation and fortunately, we didn't have to use any of that on Nicolai." Sergei smiled at his mother and then Irina, "As Alexei has said, we'll want to try this on a few more patients before we release the findings and news but I have to say… I think we've really done it. I think this is another reason why you really are _The Chosen One_, Aunt Rina. Why you have these super-human genetic properties… first Mama and a major advance in Leukemia and now Nicolai with Hemophilia… you're saving the world in many ways."

"It has nothing to do with me really… I didn't have any say in being born this way so I really can't take the credit," Irina responded quietly and still in shock this was happening.

"If you hadn't have started these research teams and donated your own blood and cells, none of this would have been possible. It has everything to do with you," Sergei smiled widely. "It has _everything_ to do with _you_." He repeated.

"Do you remember that day in my office, when I told the two of you I had no doubt I would be seeing our little Grand Duke in there kicking a winning goal for his soccer team?" Alexei smiled cupping Irina's face and looking between she and Jack, "In just a couple of months, I have no doubt he will be and I will be there alongside you with my popcorn cheering him on."

* * *

_Late August - St. Petersburg, Russia_

**_*SinnerMan*_**

"Run, Cowboy! Run!" Jack cheered on his son as the red and white little form blazed across the field on a mad drive with the soccer ball.

His family couldn't tear the smiles off their faces watching his sheer determination as he weaved in and out of players.

"Pass it!" Sydney yelled out quickly to warn him a player was coming up behind him and watched as Lena picked up the ball from him spinning around with ease and incredible leg work for a five year old weaved back towards the center.

"Good God! Look at that kid's speed!" Kendall was in awe watching the game of tiny people in red and white and blue and green. It was quite funny to see the three, four and five year olds as well as impressive.

Lena, Anya, Eva, Jaxx, Mia, Ria, Nicolas and Nadia all played on the same team, that was fittingly called, the _Little Imperials_ with several other children including Antony and Isabella. Nicholas was ecstatic that he was finally able to be rough and tumble with the other kids and not have to be so careful anymore or worrying about making Mama cry if he got hurt.

Judy couldn't help but smile seeing her husband showing his support by wearing his own red Little Imperials jersey with the Imperial Family's double eagle seal on the front and Romanovs on the back in support of them all.

"Speed? Look at that leg work!" Vaughn was astounded by his sister-in-law; watching her and cheering her on with a smile, wearing the same jersey and standing along the side. Lena had no problems switching back and forth between her legs, kicking in all directions and changing legs and mid-stride. She'd spent countless hours playing with her big brother Julian and learned a bunch of fancy footwork from him and especially her sister Sydney.

"She reminds me of the Empress weaving in and out of all that traffic in Spain, dressed in the same red!" Weiss laughed watching his Goddaughter maneuvering on the field and then seeing her pass to his own daughter as she was closer to the goal. Mia was about to kick it into the goal when a giant boy came up behind her from the other team and tackled her completely knocking her over and stealing the ball.

"Hey!" They all cried foul but the ref of the game didn't say anything and kept moving down field towards the other end and goal.

"I swear they're harder on our kids then anybody else's." Kendall shook his head in disappointment that the Romanov children had to take that much more 'crap' because of the family they were born into. They were constantly being tested, even at this level of co-ed soccer. He was happy to see Lena had flown across the field and helped Mia up, checked her over as a good big cousin and then looked down field. "Uh-oh… she's got that Derevko look in her eyes," He laughed seeing her little eyebrow slant and start flying down the empty field towards the big bully who had stolen the ball unfairly.

"Oh there she goes!" Irina smiled proudly seeing her daughter dive feet first to steal the ball and bounce right back up with the ball in her possession just as the boy was trying to kick a goal, "She's loves to get dirty."

"Go baby! Go go go go!" Jack chanted cheering her seeing she had a wide open field that no one could touch her speed, she weaved across the field and waited for her little brother to catch up the second one behind her.

"Cowboy!" Lena shouted at him with a smile and passed him the ball in rapid fire where he kicked it straight from the air, flying up with his leg and into the net.

"Goal!" They all shouted and cheered and Irina looked to Alexei who was right beside her with tears in her eyes and saw them in his. He had come just as promised to support them wearing his support jersey like the rest and happily munched on his popcorn with a proud smile watching as the rest of the team tackled the little boy to the grass with laughter and excitement.

"She waited for him." Julian smiled at Sydney shaking his head looking at Lena helping her brother up when the hog pile was over and then helping to brush him off. They both knew that as much as Lena liked to win, when it came to her family and younger siblings, she often let them win over her. She had more fun watching their excitement.

"Bound to be the result of all those times we made her go down the chutes in Chutes and Ladders," Weiss smiled with a laugh remembering her cute little face just a couple of years ago so sad about not winning.

"You're raising an amazing little girl." Another mother from the opposite team braved talking to Irina and Jack having seen them looking so normal in jerseys and casual clothes like everyone else supporting their kids, "She's always helping everyone else. I'll be proud to call her the Tsar one day… as I am you." She smiled with a slight head bow before going back to watching her own child.

Irina and Jack both felt their heartstrings tug and sense of pride in their children watching them all running around on the field and once again, Lena getting control of the situation and then passing it off to someone else on her team.

This time it was Jaxx leading the pack down the field after stealing the ball with his own spectacular show of moves and they all gasped watching a giant boy on the other team who was the largest five year old they'd ever seen come flying at him in an attempt to tackle the ball away from him, and Jaxx kicked the ball harder and then jumped over the boy, rolling over his head and then springing upright and kept going. It looked exactly like the same move that Sydney and Irina had done many times only with guns to escape attackers and they'd all seen it live in action or on the films and seeing him doing it now was an instant call back as to where these children were getting their skills.

"That child is Derevko through and through." Kendall shook his head with a smile at the adorable little boy who looked so much like his grandparents and mother it was funny. He had Jack's curly hair with Irina's and Sydney's coloring, the shape of Sydney's face and Irina's eyes. He was a gorgeous child with a hilarious sense of humor and laugh.

Jaxx passed the ball to Antony who quickly kicked it across the field where Lena was by the goal. She had her leg in the air and extended kicking the ball already when the giant bully kid attacked her while her leg was still up slamming her backwards on the ground and leaving all the parents gasping.

"Wait!" Sydney held her arm out stopping her father from rushing onto the field towards Lena and giving her a second to get up which she slowly did.

"Don't hit my sister!" Nicholas came tearing after the kid and lunged at him a second after and Jaxx wasn't far behind tackling the boy over in defense of Lena.

"Oh boy!" Sydney couldn't help but snicker as they watched the referee try to separate them, and stayed off the field as were the rules of the league. Parents couldn't just come onto the field unless the ref asked for assistance. The man was taking a long time to get down the field, not even running but jogging and angering many parents.

"I didn't hit your sister!" The big bully kid flung his arms and pushed Jaxx back.

"She's not my sister!" Jaxx screamed in his little three-year old voice, "She's my aunt!"

"Your aunt?" The bully looked at him confused, "I thought she was your sister?"

"No she's my sister!" Nicholas pushed him again, "And you hit her! That was mean! You're not supposed to hit her!"

"Get off me!" The bully yelled and then body slammed Nicholas into the ground wrestling him and Jaxx flung onto his back and Mia wasn't far behind with little fists trying to pull the bully off of Nicholas.

"Get off my uncle!" Jaxx yelled pulling on the boy's jersey.

"You heawd my cousin!" Mia yelled pulling on the boy's arm, "Get off of Nicolai!"

"Owe!" Jaxx screamed when the kid grabbed his hair behind him and started to pull and pulled Nicholas with the other.

"Don't pull my nephews hair!" Nicholas yelled up squirming under the large boy.

"Okay that's it!" Irina said, be damned with rules and started out onto the field not liking the large boy crushing her son into the ground with the extra weight of her grandson and Goddaughter not helping even if they were trying to. Nicholas had made almost a full recovery but she wasn't about to take any chances barely two months later. His bones would still break and he'd still bleed like any other child now.

"Mom you can't!" Sydney called after her, grabbing her arm though wanting to do the same.

"Yes, I can. The ref didn't pull a card when this child knocked over Mia and that only led him to get more aggressive with Lena and Nicholas. He's not calling fouls when they're against my children and now I'm pulling the Tsar card! I don't want to but I am!" She had her determined face on and many parents snickered agreeing with her on both sides and loving seeing this motherly protective side coming out.

"Your Majesty," The ref called trying to pull Jaxx with his gorilla grip off the bully boy, "You're not supposed to be on the field." He addressed her with authority he did not feel with voice cracking and seemingly shrinking in her presence only making the rest of the parents chuckle more.

"Let go. Of my grandson." Irina gave him her famous Derevko intense eyes and the man swallowed hard and backed up.

"This is hilarious." Jack couldn't help but laugh watching Irina in action on the field.

"She's one badass Soccer Mom." Weiss snorted with laughter to Jack and the both of them with Kendall and Ben shared a laugh over that thought.

"Jaxx…" Irina leaned over reaching around him with both arms and getting him to realize it was his Babushka not the other man, "Let him go… Babushka will get him off Nicolai." She spoke calmly with a soothing tone in his ear and then watched as he immediately released and she picked him up fully, kissing his cheek before setting him down beside her.

Mia was still going to town trying to pull the big kid off her cousin but with no success and Irina smiled at her determination.

"Mia… Sweetheart, its okay. Let go. God-Mama will get him." She spoke with the same soft tone and then gripped the big boy's arms, "Come on. Get up! Let him go!" She called out in the same tone though it held more edge and she picked him up as well with his own parents suddenly coming on the field horrified at what the Tsar's reaction was going to be with their son and them; mostly of embarrassment.

"Your Majesty," They rushed up with apologetic looks while Irina held their fighting child against her and they helped up Nicholas, looking him over terrified he was hurt by their child.

"You're not supposed to be on here either!" The ref yelled feeling more authority over them.

"Listen," Irina turned on him, "If you had done your job we wouldn't be out here. You haven't been calling any fouls against my children or my grandchildren or godchild. Now we stood by and took it as we realize people like to be especially hard on them because they think everything is handed to them and made easy. It's not. Under normal circumstances it only makes them stronger for being held down but when it gets to the point that their safety is in jeopardy, I'm going to step in as a mother and stop it. This child should have been put in a time out several times this game but you just kept letting him go. It's not his fault; he's only five. You're supposed to control how far he goes by not condoning bad behavior. Start doing your job and we won't have to come onto the field anymore." She gave him a sly smile, "Now," she knelt down to look at the boy turning him around in her arms while his parents gulped, "It isn't kind of you to hit or purposely kick other children. It's a game and games are to be played by the rules. That is the only way to have fun and be safe. You didn't like it when they were hitting you, did you?"

The little boy shook his head with tears forming in his eyes.

"I didn't think so and they don't like it either. I want you to apologize to them and they're going to apologize to you and then all four of you are going to sit in a time out of the game for a minute for hitting. Are you okay?" She took control of the situation while the parents and ref watched with wide eyes as the little boy nodded yes.

"Are you okay, Lena?" She asked her daughter as she stood looking over her child to make certain she wasn't hurt.

"I'm okay, Mama." Lena smiled holding Jaxx's hand.

"Jaxx, are you okay?" She asked her grandson sweetly, proud of the little defender and his fierce spirit as she was her son and hated punishing them for trying to protect Lena and then Nicholas.

He nodded yes and she looked to Mia and Nicholas, taking note of the bloody nose her son now had.

"Mia, are you okay, Sweetheart?"

Mia nodded she was, "Nicolai… are you okay?"

"My nose is bleeding." Nicholas sniffed and more blood came out and the parents of the boy looked completely horrified knowing the little Grand Duke had just had a massive operation for his Hemophilia two months ago.

"We'll make it better, but are you hurt anywhere else?" Irina remained calm even though the sight of him bleeding immediately got her blood pumping.

"No, Mama." Nicholas shook his head and stepped forward when she beckoned him forth with her fingers.

"I want you to say you're sorry for pushing him and hitting him." She cupped his little chin looking at his nose and then eyes.

"But he hurt Lena, Mama!" Nicholas protested her with wide eyes.

"I know, Honey. And he shouldn't have hit her like that either and he will say he's sorry but you shouldn't have hit him then either. Hitting is wrong." Irina gave him the Mama-look with head nod that told him to go ahead.

"I'm sorry I hit you. But don't hit my sister again!" Nicholas added with a fierceness in his eyes that was purely her own and screamed 'The Man.'

"Go ahead," Irina nudged the boy.

"I'm sorry I hit you and pushed your sister." He looked down while Irina held onto his shoulders.

"Good, now shake and then Nicholas I want you to go to Uncle Marcelo so he can fix your nose and make it better." She smiled after they did as told, "Thank you… I love you and now please go have Papa Alexei and Uncle Marcelo look at your nose."

Irina smiled watching her son running off. "Jaxx and Mia come here please," She knelt down again as they were younger and she needed to be more on their level to explain, "I know you were trying to help Nicolai but you shouldn't hit or push or pull people, okay? That's not nice." She shook her head, "So tell him your are sorry for hitting him and jumping on him."

"Sowwy for hitting you." They both flashed their doe eyes down in shame in the face of their Babushka and God-Mama whom they adored.

"Don't hit my uncle!" Jaxx added, "Oow my aunt! That's naughty!" His little Derevko eyes flashed the same intensity as Nicholas.

"Yes, hitting is naughty and you shouldn't hit either. Okay?" Irina smiled at him as she couldn't help it. "You're turn." She looked back at the bully.

"I'm sorry for hitting you and pushing you and pulling your hair and for pushing your aunt? And uncle?" The confused boy looked up at his own parents in wonder at that statement that the two people his size, were the other little boy's, aunt and uncle. His aunt and uncles were all grown ups.

"That was nice, now shake and then all three of you I want to go sit in time out with Nicholas for two minutes in the penalty box… together." She smiled adding, "I love you and I love you!" Kissing her grandson and then goddaughter's faces and to the little boy's surprise and his parents, his cheek too. "No more playing rough like that. Okay?" She looked him dead in the eye that dared him to ever try it again and the child's eyes went wide as he nodded, "Good and I love you too." She smiled and whispered making him smile in surprise and then ran off with the other two. "Lena…" She called her daughter forward looking at her leg and making sure she was alright, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Umhmm," Lena smiled with a nod, "I'm ready to run again."

"Okay," Irina laughed softly kissing her lips and standing up. "I love you."

"Your Majesty… we're so sorry." The parents immediately began to apologize and Irina held her hand up to stop them.

"Just see that it doesn't happen any more. Kids make mistakes but if they're not taught any differently they don't learn to stop making them. I'm trying with mine and I hope you continue to try with yours. It's not easy being a parent, I know." She gave them a small smile in a cleverly hidden scold mixed with understanding and encouragement, "And you," She looked back at the ref, "Start calling a fair game so that our children don't get hurt. Now we're leaving your field." She spun around with a smile and walked off field with the other parents coming off behind her and everyone else clapping with whistles.

"Her Imperial Majesty: Irina the Soccer Mom," Weiss laughed doing the raise the roof and making a play on the murmurs already going around the world as various different people began to call her 'Irina the Great' for her contributions to her country and the world.

Irina smiled shaking her head and then knelt down on her haunches again to inspect her child's nose. "Is he okay?" She asked Marcelo and Alexei who were both in attendance and they nodded with smiles.

"He's perfect. The bleeding stopped almost as soon as it began now that he's producing your platelets." Marcelo smiled ruffling the boy's hair.

"Good." Irina sighed with a smile, kissing his lips, "Now I want you to go sit in the time out box with the others for hitting and pushing, okay."

Nicholas nodded and then ran off and sat down with crossed legs next to the bullying boy and Mia.

"The consummate diplomat wherever you go." Jack smiled and kissed Irina's lips. "That's going into one of my '_Absolute Favorite Memories of You_' book." He laughed and kissed her again.

"You have a book?" She smiled coyly at him with his arms wrapped around her and her's around him.

"Oh yes, I have a book and that is definitely in there. On _Page 47_." He smirked and they all laughed around him with Irina swatting him on the butt shaking her head with laughter.


	45. Chapter 45

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Circle Of Life **_**by Hans Zimmer from The Lion King Soundtrack,**_**  
Safari **_**by John Barry from Out of Africa Soundtrack**_**, He Lives In You **_**by Hans Zimmer from The Lion King Soundtrack**_** (Simba's Pride), Tango Flamenco **_**by Armik**_** , So Cold **_**by Ben Cocks featuring Nikisha Reyes-Pile.**

* * *

FORTY-FIVE

o

_September 2008_

"So everyone… how do you feel about Africa?" Irina asked with a smile grabbing her orange juice from the counter where she'd left it ten minutes before to take a call from Nelson Mandela.

"Africa as in what? I haven't had very good experiences in Africa… or rather you haven't… the Congo, Morocco, Libya, Egypt…" Jack listed off the places there that made him shiver thinking about all the times she almost died in each.

Irina smiled, "I have business in Spain in a week but we were also invited to go on a safari in Tanzania this week. Who wants to go?"

"Can we all go?" Sydney's eyes lit up having never in her life been on a safari to see the animals and people of Africa, only on missions and that wasn't the same when in the big cities.

"Yes, if you want. I think it could be really fun." Irina smiled seeing her excitement and eager to take all of her children and grandchildren.

"No deranged tour guides this time, right?" Jack slanted his eyebrow at her making her laugh.

"No deranged tour guides unless you consider me one. I'm taking us in so far and we're meeting with a friend of mine from the Maasai tribe." She sipped her juice and took a bite of the Veggie bagel she had started eating.

"So this is like a 'real' safari?" Vaughn looked at her with raised but skeptical eyebrows bordering on excitement and fear knowing Irina was leading them into the wild.

"Yes." Irina smiled nodding.

"Oh, I am so in!" Weiss jumped up with an excited clap, "I can't wait to see Panama Jack in his safari clothes." He laughed and had the table laughing with him at the visual. "Not to mention Jane of the Jungle here." He nodded towards Irina and sent them into hysteria.

"I've always wanted to go." Katya smiled widely thinking about doing something else on her list she'd always wanted to do, purposely marking them off with fervor these days after seeing how close she came to her life ending. She'd suspected by the look in her sister's eyes, this was part of the plan. Irina remembered Katya talking about this in all of the things she talked about wanting to do and never got around to it. Spending a lazy month on an island in the South Pacific was down, as was seeing more baseball games with her family and now, a safari.

"The kids will love it." Sydney smiled thinking of the little munchkins who were obsessed presently with watching the Lion King. "Prepare yourselves for non-stop chatter about Simba, Pumba, Rafiki, Scar and Mufasa." She laughed softly.

"I know, that's one of the reasons I'm so excited to see their faces. Lena was ecstatic when we went to South Africa and we went to the game reserve."

"Yes!" Sydney laughed, "She talked about nothing but that for a long while and then brought it back again after she saw Ted the enormous African elephant with you at the Smithsonian." Her sister was something else.

"So everyone is coming?" Irina looked around the room at the faces and all were nodding. "Good!"

"So, whom were we invited by?" Sydney smiled, "And if you're leading it… wouldn't it be you who was really inviting them?"

Irina smiled knowing they'd like this answer, "Oprah."

* * *

_Serengeti, Tanzania _

"Oh my God, they are so adorable!" Oprah smiled looking at the mass of little ones all in safari clothes so they would blend into the landscape as well, not scaring off the wildlife. The tiny cargo shorts and button down shirts with rolled sleeves and leather belts and boots were hysterical and adorable as they were purposeful.

They were getting ready to go driving in a chain of four Land Rovers led by Irina with Sydney, Weiss and Julian bringing up the rear as he was the only other person with African experience having grown up with it around Irina.

"Okay everyone, we're going to be going through some beautiful plains where we'll see a wide variety of animals as a lot of different herds gather around the river. Three things to remember." Irina smiled holding up three fingers and addressing all their anxious faces, "First, if we're parked and the lions decided they're going to sit on the vehicles… no body scream and don't try to drive away while they're still on the vehicle or too near it."

"What happens if we do?" Weiss asked gulping noticeably with eyes widening the moment she said they were going to sit on the vehicles.

"Just don't. We sit and we wait no matter how many hours it takes." She gave him that stern slanted eyebrow with her coy serious smile. "Second thing, if a bull elephant begins to charge… stay still for a moment as he might be just telling us that we need to go… but… if he charges and keeps coming then floor it and go, go, go and don't let your foot off the accelerator. You shouldn't have to worry about making that decision though, because if you see me leaving in a hurry you best follow quickly." Her smile widened seeing their faces pale and eyes widen.

"I vote we put all the Munchkins in the Land Rover with 'Jane and Panama,' here?" Weiss raised his hand and looked around at the other parents who joined him not wanting to be responsible for making an error and having their children with them. They felt they'd be safer with Irina since she seemed to know what the hell she was doing where they did not. "Alright then it's settled, you're driving the Nanny Rover, Jane." He smiled looking at Irina loving to tease her about her look in the same olive and tan khakis they were all in.

"Marcelo and I will ride with you to help with the children." Katya smiled holding Felix who was content playing with her shirt pocket flap and knowing there was no way Irina and Jack could handle all twelve children, two of them babies of five and six months old. Oprah was going to be riding with them as well as this was all part of her 'Back to Africa' month long series and this leg of the journey was going on safari with the Imperial Family of Russia and to her surprise, the former President and First Lady Laura Bush.

All the SUVs had various multidimensional cameras built in to catch all the action and reactions. Oprah had pledged to help Irina with the Black Market sale of children after what happened to her girls and had already done a week long series featuring different stories of families who'd found their children, like the Imperials and Antony and those who were still looking and missing. Irina was extremely grateful for the help knowing the enormous audience base Oprah touched with her show and in exchange was more then happy to help when Oprah asked her to do something like this, especially if it was fun and something she could do with her entire family.

"Thank you." Irina smiled and picked up Ria who asked her to silently with raised arms, "And third… if I stay in the car, you stay in the car. Nobody get out of the car at all unless I do first!"

"What if we have to go to the bathroom?" Sophia looked horrified, not at all raised to rough it.

"You hold it and call me and we'll try to get someplace where you can go but if we're stuck with the lions, I would rather have you wet yourself then be eaten by one." Irina smiled and laughed with everyone else. "Round up troops, let's go!"

"You get the kids, you get the music." Sydney smiled handing her mother the must have Lion King soundtrack that the Munchkins had been singing to non-stop since they learned they were going to see the real animals.

Each Land Rover had three seats behind the driver and passenger seat and all vehicles were filled to capacity, especially the first car, with all the children in the protective care of 'Jungle Jane' and 'Panama Jack' in what had been deemed the _Nanny Rover_.

Irina had 20-month old Gustav on her lap, Jack had 5-month old baby Alexei on his with Ria between them and behind them, were Lena, Oprah holding Nadia on her lap, and Anya. Nicholas, Jaxx, Mitchell and Eva were in the next row and in the last was Katya holding 6-month old Roman on her lap, and Marcelo holding 17-month old Felix and Mia between them.

Sydney drove the next SUV with Vaughn in the passenger seat, and Bella, Mikhail, Ben, Karen, Dmitri and the lone Cameraman.

Weiss drove the third vehicle with Sophia in front with him and Kendall, Judy, Dixon, Hayden, the former President and First Lady, George and Laura Bush.

Julian brought up the rear with Ash, Carrie, Marshall, Sergei, Madeleine, Robin and Steven.

**_*Circle of Life*_**

"Oh My Gracious!" Oprah gasped when they came over the small ridge after driving along slowly for awhile talking and looking at the gorgeous scenery to come upon a blanket of zebras covering the land before them. "Look at that!"

"It's a zebwa!" Ria bounced excitedly in between her grandparents as Irina came to stop a safe distance away.

They all laughed when Gustav started making horse sounds pointing with his own tiny little finger standing on Irina's lap.

"This is amazing…" Katya gasped with tears in her eyes at the beauty everywhere around her.

"Let's get out." Irina smiled back at them and saw all the little faces lighten. She waved it was okay back to the others with Gustav on her hip and helped the rest of the children out the doors.

"This. Is. Incredible." Vaughn shook his head in disbelief looking at the hundreds of zebras grazing mixed in with some water buffalo all following the river's path.

They'd stood watching them for about five minutes when a few zebra jumped and then all started running and then turned and zigged and zagged back and forth and suddenly there they were, the lions on the hunt that had snuck up from nowhere.

"Oh my God! Holy shit!" Weiss gasped and then cringed watching a lioness drag down a zebra making a high pitched noise in the circle of life and his eyes flashed to his children who were extremely interested in what was going on. "Shouldn't we get back in the vehicles now?" He pointed towards the vehicles keeping an eye on his wife and children while he back peddled and they all laughed.

"Irina's not getting in the car," Dixon smiled at him seeing the man afraid.

"She is now!" Weiss answered rapidly watching Irina slowly putting the children back in the cars and keeping her eye on the lionesses now looking at the foursome of vehicles in the distance while they sat down for their meal of zebra. He moved rapidly towards the driver's seat and got in keeping his eyes on the lions. "See look at that one. She's saying 'I want to eat him for dinner!" He pointed when they were all back safely inside the car and made everyone with him laugh.

They kept moving looking at the various herds of animals and birds they saw along the way and it was Lena who spotted them first and whisper shouted, "It's Ted, Mama!" Remembering she wasn't supposed to yell and pointed to the heard of elephants in the distance.

"Oh what's she doin?" Weiss gasped seeing Irina driving closer to the enormous creatures in the tall grass and remembering her saying to drive like hell if one charged. "Oh Jane, that's too close!" His voice quivered dramatically making everyone in his car laugh hysterically to see his reactions and the way he was commenting on Irina.

"That has got to be the largest animal I've ever seen in my life." Oprah held Nadia tightly while they all looked out the windows at the mammoth sized African Bull elephant.

"Mama… I think he's bigger then Ted." Lena whispered with wide eyes standing up and reaching her arm around the seat to palm her mother's neck from behind seeking comfort a little scared to see the enormity of the elephant and alive.

"I take it we're not getting out on this one." Kendall smiled seeing that Irina was staying put as the elephants kept getting closer, curious about the visitors.

"Good idea, Jane! Good idea!" Weiss gasped and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"He puts Ted to shame." Laura gasped at the gargantuan elephant with enormous tusks. To say such a thing in comparison expounded on the reality of how big this live elephant out roaming around in nature really was and she felt sad that Ted wasn't.

"Mama, and I were diving one time… I must have been thirteen years old," Julian started telling a story, as they were talking about the largest animals they'd ever seen, "And suddenly everything went black above us. We both looked at each other thinking a ship must have come over us and blocked out the sun but when we turned to look up… it was actually a Blue Whale." He smiled at the memory, "We were both sort of frozen in awe of such a moment as it moved over us. That magnificent creature was the largest I've ever seen."

"You really did have some amazing adventures with her didn't you? I have a feeling we only saw the tip of the iceberg in the films." Carrie smiled up at him trying to imagine what that must have been like to see at thirteen years old.

Julian smiled nodding and thinking about some of them.

"When was the first time she brought you here? Was it when you went to Congo?" Madeleine asked with an enchanted smile looking from Julian over to the grazing elephants.

"No, I was six." Julian smiled with his eyebrows dipping trying to remember, "I don't remember a great deal of it because of the Project Christmas training but I remember sleeping in a tent with Mama and hearing the lions roaring."

"Oh my God, I bet you were scared!" Marshall couldn't imagine, "What were you doing here then?" His eyebrows knit thinking about why Irina would be in Tanzania during the Cold War when he knew from the film she was still in the KGB.

"Hunting." Julian responded with his eyes meeting Marshall's in the rearview mirror and held them until he got the meaning.

"Oh." Marshall paled a bit realizing what she was hunting for but it was lost on Robin.

"What was she hunting?" Robin asked almost horrified for the poor animals she was already in love with, never liking the sport of hunting.

"Robin," Steven looked at his younger sister with a 'come on' look, "She was an assassin for the KGB… do you really think she was hunting gazelle or elephants?"

"And she brought you along?" Robin asked with a raised voice and eyebrows, "You were only six?"

"Well she could not exactly leave me at a sitters now could she?" Julian smiled with a hint of a smirk. "I went with her everywhere except when she was doing the actual job. Then, I was left alone and in this case I can't be quite sure but I believe I was left with a family of Maasai people. A defector was living outside their village."

"Oh God…" Robin was shaking her head with awe and thinking about the night Irina left Julian home alone with instructions on what to do if she didn't return, "It's still hard for me to think of the Empress as anything but… She's so kind and loving… I just can't imagine or seem to grasp she actually was an assassin."

"It was her job." Her brother looked over at her with a sad smile and a shrug, "One she was forced to do… Dad's a good guy… loving and kind and yet, he still killed people too."

"I know you don't have to lecture me on that, its why Mom died." Robin spit at her brother still not over that truth that hurt too much and Julian felt a massive kick to the gut, looking at Robin's face in the rearview mirror and then his own beautiful wife beside him and knew he'd be devastated if he'd lost her because of someone's spiteful revenge. It was hard enough to lose Alison… and she was the assassin responsible for Diane's death ordered by Sloane.

**_*Safari*_**

"Mom would have loved this." Robin smiled and then looked back at her brother who was nodding yes with a smile.

"So how is it, Your Majesty, that you first came to this part of Africa?" Oprah asked with a smile snuggling up with Nadia and loving to see the wide-eyes on the children and so thankful for their return. The hair still growing out on Nadia's little head a lingering reminder of just how real that nightmare really was.

Irina swallowed hard not really wanting to get into such with the children in the car and turned around enough to look at Oprah speaking softly, "It was almost three years after I was released…" She paused making sure the woman knew she was talking about 'prison' without having to say it and went on, "I had a 'hunting' assignment… they were trying to hide in the tall grasses of the Serengeti plains." She swallowed hard remembering that kill in the days she had become so machine-like.

Oprah's eyes widened and she too was still having a hard time grasping the Irina she knew now as the assassin she had once been. The films had made it real enough but to hear first hand for the first time, Irina speaking of one such assignment and being in the place it happened was surreal.

"But as with everything in the circle of life…" Irina spoke softly looking out over the plains, "The hunter eventually becomes the hunted."

Her eyes slowly went back to Jack remembering very well the years that the tables had turned and she was now the prey of the world.

He swallowed hard and looked at her for a moment, seeing the flash of sadness flit across her eyes from the regrets of a life before but let go. Only occasionally causing a moment of guilt to surface in the face of the reminders but watched it leave her eyes just as quickly. They'd made peace with their past and decided long ago to leave the regrets behind them.

The moment of sadness in both their hearts needed a loving touch to smooth it away and Irina leaned in slowly and Jack met her there with a soft kiss.

Oprah smiled looking at the two who clearly did block out the rest of the world when looking into each other's eyes and looked over to Lena who was watching them, their noses brushing softly with a smile before they pulled away and she smiled at Oprah before turning back to look out the window.

They moved on all day, stopping to have lunch and take short breaks for bathroom, stretching and feeding the babies and by sunset just as Irina suspected might happen, while they were observing some lions from a far, another group had snuck up behind them and were now draped all over their vehicles.

"God, why do I feel like we're in _Jurassic Park_ and the animals are going to eat us." Weiss whispered sitting back terrified in his seat looking at the lioness lying across the hood.

Suddenly they heard the thud of heavy paws jump onto the roof and all gasped when the animal slid down the windshield and then turned around with blood-covered mouth still stained with the aftermath of the zebra. She was looking right at Weiss while she began to clean her face with her paws and then another suddenly jumped up at his window with paws on the roof and started to lick the glass beside him with the same bloody fur.

"See…" He gasped and then shivered looking out the corners of his eyes, "I told you she wanted to eat me!" He whispered loudly and they all chuckled again though they did find it unnerving a bit that this lioness had followed and found them.

Another half hour passed and Sophia couldn't take it anymore, "I have to pee."

Weiss's eyes flashed to hers in disbelief she'd just said that with the former President and First Lady in the car.

"What? I have to pee!" Sophia looked back at him generally not caring.

"Me too, Sophia." Laura smiled and then looked at the lions still lazily lying around.

"Listen here kitty cat, I have to pee! Please! Please! Just go away from here so we can leave!" Sophia put her face close the glass and begged looking at the cat.

"I don't think that's going to work, Wild Thing." Weiss snickered.

"Listen here kitty, I'm not fond of peeing on myself and I really don't think you want to make the former First Lady do the same so how about you move along and we'll come back and see you later?" Sophia smiled with her own catlike eyes and had her car laughing.

"Don't make me laugh, Dear!" Laura tried to stop herself from laughing. "Oh my look they're leaving!" She sighed in happiness to see the cats slowly getting up and jumping away.

"See, I knew they would be reasonable." Sophia smiled happily, "Alright Jane of the Jungle… get this caravan moving!" She waved her hand towards Irina and like magic they started to move.

Weiss turned his head to her with a smile, "It seems you've picked up some magical powers while in Africa to get everyone and everything to do exactly what you say."

"Don't be silly," Sophia smiled at him with a saucy grin, "I've always had those powers. They work on you all the time." She batted her eyes at him for effect making their car roar with laughter watching the dynamic between the two that was almost as entertaining as Jack and Irina.

* * *

By nightfall they had made camp with the tents circling one large fire and several outer fires to keep the animals away on the outskirts. After dinner they were all lying on mats in a circle around the fire while Lena once again gave them all a lesson in the stars having fun finding the constellations.

"Whewe's Mufasa in the staws, Lena?" Eva asked in an all too cute voice looking for her favorite Disney character having entertained them for the better part of the night by roaring at them saying she was a lion so enthralled with seeing them all over the car.

"You can't see him, he's in Heaven." Lena answered her niece lying beside her sharing a mat.

"But Simba saw him?" Eva asked with little knit brows not understanding.

"That's because Simba was really sad and he missed his Daddy and he remembered what his Daddy told him about the lions who died looking over him from Heaven. He listened very, very carefully and he could hear Mufasa talking to his heart from Heaven. Because his Daddy was still a part of him because they had the same heart." Lena answered very seriously and Sydney and Vaughn shared an astounded look over Lena; every time the little girl explained something she seemed to take everyone's breath away with her depth of understanding, "People and lions in Heaven can see us but we can't see them."

"Why not?" Eva asked again trying to grasp all this with her three-year old mind.

"It's just the rules." Lena shrugged looking up.

"Can Gweat Babushka Talia see us?" Eva asked again thinking about the grandmother who had most recently died and the only person she'd ever met who died and went to Heaven.

"Can she see us, Mama?" Lena turned her head to look at her mother beside her.

"I think so." Irina smiled at her and then looked back up at the amazing sky.

"If I wave to hew, will she see me?" Eva asked again looking over to her Babushka.

Irina chuckled softly with a smile, "I bet she will."

"Da Svidanya, Gweat Babushka!" Eva giggled waving to the stars and the rest of the children followed suit with smiles, waves and a continuous chorus of 'hello.'

"And Great Babushka Anya too! Great Papa Dmitri too!" Nicholas smiled and it started all over again with everyone waving to the stars with laughter and smiles.

"And Great Papa Mishka!" Anya smiled remembering hearing about her Great Papa from her Grand PaPa Mikhail.

"And my Mom." Robin smiled widely looking up and thinking about her mother and how great it was to think of her here, in this beautiful place looking down on them. They all waved and smiled once more with more 'hellos' for the other two.

**_*He Lives in You*_**

"We can't forget Baby Jack! He is up there too and can see us!" Lena shook her head not wanting to leave him out and the group felt their hearts drop with ensuing silence for a moment before Irina smiled at Lena.

"No we can't forget him." Irina smiled with tears in her eyes that her little girl always remembered the brother she never met and saw so much of in her.

"Who is Baby Jack?" Jaxx asked with a slanted eyebrow on Irina's other side and she turned to look over at him with a smile.

"He was your uncle who died as a tiny baby. He went to Heaven a long time ago." Irina answered softly and everyone's hearts were breaking hearing her tell her grandson about him and thinking about his tragic loss so long ago. "You're named after him." She smiled over at Sydney and Vaughn who were looking at them and Irina saw the tears in Sydney's eye reflecting from the light of the fire.

"Why did he die?" Jaxx looked up at her with the sweetest of faces.

"He was born too early. He needed to stay in my tummy longer… Jack was just too little… and so he went to Heaven." Irina smiled back with blurry tears in her eyes giving her grandson the least horrific truths about what really happened. Telling any of the children what Cuvee had done was out of the question.

"Can I see a pictuwe of him?" Jaxx asked with a curious gaze knowing who his Great Grandparents were by seeing pictures of them in the palace and wanting to see his uncle too.

Irina shook her head 'no' sadly with a stray tear finally falling and several others around the campfire, "No, I'm sorry, Sweetheart. There are no pictures of your Uncle Jack. Only the ones in my mind."

"Why awe thewe no pictuwes of Uncle Jack, Babushka?" Jaxx' little brows knit unhappy. "I wanted to see him."

Irina felt her throat getting dry choked up on tears not wanting to tell him why there had been no pictures and decided to satisfy his curiosity in another way, speaking the truth which her heart hadn't voiced until now.

"If you want to know what your Uncle looked like… just look into a mirror, Sweetheart. You look just like him. Same curly dark hair… same long eyelashes and dark eyes… same laugh and smile. Just like him…" Irina repeated in almost a whisper with her eyes going to Jack's in time to see his own eyes widen in surprise and a tear fall. She'd never told him that and could only ask his forgiveness in that moment with her eyes. She could feel Sydney's eyes on her, her daughter never knowing this either and that's one of the reasons she never said anything.

The little boy Sydney had found out she was carrying on the anniversary of the day her brother had died, the son she had named after him, was in truth… the closest carbon copy of a human being that Irina had ever seen with only the slightest of differences. She didn't want to scare her daughter by revealing this, or her husband… she was freaked out by it enough for all of them having been the only one to ever see Jack… see what he looked like at almost this exact age that Jaxx was now when she died and went to Heaven.

Nicholas had looked the most like him as a newborn but over the past year, Irina could no longer ignore the fact that Jaxx was looking more like him everyday, especially after his hair turned dark. It was a secret she'd locked away in her heart never intending to reveal, pain and joy all in one, but somehow felt compelled to now. She saw so much of her son's personality in Lena… but his looks were exactly like her grandson. He was living on in different ways in each of them. They were their own people but with hints of he who had come before. Just like she was able to see her mother in her girls at times, and her father and Jack in her son and grandson.

"I look like him?" Jaxx smiled up at her with his giggly grin she loved so much.

"Yes, Sweetie. You do. And I can see little bits of him in each of you." Irina kissed his forehead, "Should we wave to him now and then all go to bed so we can get up early and see more animals?" She smiled.

They all waved, blew kisses and said 'goodnight,' the children with laughter and the majority of adults with tears hearing yet a new layer to Irina's secret-filled heart revealed.

* * *

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Jack asked quietly when their three youngest children were asleep in their sleeping bags on small cots just off the floor once everyone had begun to settle in for the night. He wasn't angry, he just wanted to know what she was thinking knowing how hard it was for her to even tell him in the first place, all those years ago to tell him about the baby at all, having kept it a secret locked up in her heart for so long by herself.

Irina closed her eyes facing away from him where she folded the children's clothes from the day putting them away and sighed softly, knowing this conversation was coming. She'd have to have it with Sydney as well. "I really don't have a definitive reason why… I'm sorry." She turned around looking at him with soft eyes, the glow from their lanterns illuminating the large white tent with a warm light. "I never intended to say anything… not to leave you out its just… I still can't believe it myself…" She shook her head softly with tears, "But as much as he looks just like him… and he does," She gave Jack a teary smile, "I see the differences because I've seen them both, spoke with them both… but you haven't... and I just didn't want you to think of Jaxx as Jack… for you or Sydney… to look at Jaxx and not see him for himself…and instead always be looking at him as the 'could have been'... Or maybe that was my own fear projected onto the situation, I don't know and it's not fair to you or Sydney… I'm sorry." Irina turned her gaze down and wiped at the fallen tears unable to really explain something she couldn't explain to herself.

Jack sighed softly, understanding what she was saying and seeing her struggling with trying to understand it herself. He got up and moved behind her, pulling her back against him with arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders and kissing the side of her head.

"You said you see him, bits of him in all of them," Jack spoke softly looking down at the little bodies below them sleeping so sweetly and smiling, "I'm curious to know him through your eyes… what do you see? How does he live on in the hearts of our children and grandchildren?"

Irina's tears began silent streams over her smile as she leaned her head into Jack, loving him so much that he understood.

"Nicholas looked the most like him as a newborn… I could see the differences but the similarities were glaring too… but I told you about those." She sighed and Jack pulled them back to carefully sit on their own cot's corner, looking over their children as she spoke and he held her in his arms. "When I saw our Jack after the Execution… his looks, his smile… the laugh…" She smiled softly, "All Jaxx… but I can see the differences in the two very easily as Jaxx has a good deal of his Daddy's spirit in him." She laughed softly thinking about him, "And the hints of Mikhail in some of his facial expressions. His voice… all different… all Jaxx. I see his personality the most in Lena." She sighed again softly when their eyes fell about their middle daughter… the first born to them after the loss of their son. "The tone she speaks in… the looks in her eyes or the way she hugs and kisses me sometimes when she's sad… I can see him." She wiped at her tears, "Just every now and then… little flashes in them…"

They were quiet a moment, just holding each other and both thinking when Jack spoke. "It's interesting… how you saw him as a little boy… that's how he came for you… and at the same age, Jaxx looks just like him… don't you think?" It was very ironic actually and unexplainable at this point but it made them both smile.

"I agree." Irina smiled swallowing the lump in her throat and then turning softly in his arms, wrapping hers around him and burying her face into his neck, just wanting to hold and be held.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Weiss gasped to Sophia and then eyes flashed to Julian and Ash whom they were sharing a tent with and their children. Their kids all asleep and the adults all lying in their own cots with the babies in little hammocks carefully hung from the strong tent beams above and closer to the ground.

A lion's roar was in the distance quite far off and the three other adults in the tent couldn't help but laugh at him.

"It's a long ways a way," Sophia smiled over at her husband gently pushing the hammock between them back and forth rocking their baby Felix, "And Aunt Rina said they won't come near the fires, right?" Her eyes flashed to Julian who had experience in the African wild.

"Right." Julian smiled and couldn't resist the taunt seeing his friend scared, "Unless they're Man-eaters of course, like the Tsavo Lions… did you ever hear about them? I think they may have even made a movie about them."

"Julian!" Ash hit him playfully seeing Weiss's eyes get enormous and then another roar from a lion that was closer. "Don't scare him!"

"I'm not scared." Weiss tried to deflect and then froze when they heard another deeper roar.

"That was a male." Julian smiled lying on his stomach on the cot with his arms folded under his pillow propping him up. "Don't worry though… the females do all the hunting unless of course… it is a Man-eater and then a rogue male won't hesitate to come into an encampment."

"Stop taunting him!" Sophia scolded her cousin and began to remember why she thought of him as annoying as a child. Her own fears growing into 'not funny anymore' hearing another roar in a higher pitch.

"Another female… probably the same one as before, just closer." Julian smiled unable to resist.

"Enough!" Sophia silenced him again with her slanted Derevko eyebrow and changed subjects, "The safari was beautiful today wasn't? I can't decide what my favorite part was though Mia's was clearly when the lions took a nap on our vehicles." She smiled over at her daughter sleeping soundly. She'd gone on and on about 'Did you see the lions, Mama?' when they'd gotten to the campsite.

"Ria's was the zebras." Ash smiled at her own little girl snuggled up next to her cousin, Mia. "I think the sheer number overwhelmed her."

Another loud roar shattered their quiet conversation and it, was very close. It had all of their hair standing on end as they froze with pounding hearts.

"It's still a quarter of a mile away or so." Julian swallowed hard trying to offer the comfort he actually didn't feel for the first time ever, his own mind now freaking itself out about the Tsavo Lions and wishing he'd never joked about it.

A roar so loud it rattled their lanterns and awoke their children followed by a series of cat calls that sounded like they were just outside the perimeters of the tent. When they heard the rattling of the alarm cans on the strings they put out around the entire campsite jingle signaling they'd been disturbed, Weiss had had it.

"I'm not staying in here who's with me?" Weiss turned as pale as the tents siding. "She's come back to eat me!" He whispered thinking about the female lioness who seemed to be stalking him.

"Where are we going to go?" Sophia asked in a whisper with wide eyes; thinking he might now be right about the lioness wanting to eat him part.

"Jane of the Jungles tent." Weiss answered back and in a flash they were all jumping up and grabbing their children with pillows and blanket, in such a hurry Weiss just tucked both Ria and Mia under each arm while Julian lit a fire torch knowing if the lions were indeed out there, a flash light wouldn't scare them off but the fire would.

"Stay together!" Julian whispered, grabbing his wife's hand who grabbed Sofia's and then peaked their head out of the tent eyeing his parents tent across the way, "Go!"

On swift bare feet they moved rapidly with wide eyes and all froze mid-step to hear another roar just to the left of them behind the tent Oprah was staying in with the former President and First Lady. Oprah's head had been peaking out and froze with the loud roar behind her too, her cameraman having come out of the tent he was sharing with Dmitri to film the close encounter now all frozen looking around the circle at one another.

Julian, Ash, and Sophia with free hands quickly waved her over to them knowing the lion was right behind her tent now and like lightening she bolted from the tent towards them followed immediately behind by George and Laura with equally ashen faces and wide eyes.

They all darted immediately into Jack and Irina's tent with Weiss leading the way with a child under each of his arms, all their faces white and eyes wide staring at Irina and Jack who were both standing up looking at them.

"We're not staying out there by ourselves, Jane." Weiss gasped in a whisper to Irina when they heard another loud roar and with cat-calls near them.

"That's a good idea." Irina smiled reaching into her bag and grabbing her guns and knife, taking the torch from her son and waving them inside.

Jack was quite amused to see the President looking so ashen even if he felt it himself and George looked back at him with a simple, "I don't do lions," in his Texas twang.

"Where are you going?" Weiss asked in rush seeing Irina and Jack both leaving, "The whole point of us coming in here was for you to protect us! Not leave us, Jane!" His eyes flashed to Jack, "Panama?"

Irina couldn't help but chuckle when they all jumped with the loud roar of the cats outside, "We're going to get the others and to light more fires." She smiled having talked about this with Jack just before they all came in, with Irina going to do it and Jack staying with the children but now he was coming with her seeing their kids were with everyone else.

"Well, hurry back! I swear that lioness sees me as her next dinner!" Weiss whispered with fear in his eyes while they all chuckled, "It's not funny, she wasn't looking at any of you like a giant steak!"

"We'll be back." Irina smiled and headed outside with Jack just behind her.

"Mom!" Sydney whisper shouted from her own tent peaking out to see her mother moving around the fire towards them and father after hearing the roar and the can disturbance. Her eyes were wide seeing a flash of green eyes in the grass behind her mother. "There's a lion behind you!"

Irina wheeled around mid-step and stopped, searching the grass and seeing it move. "Get the kids and your pillows and blankets and move slowly… but quickly to our tent." She commanded in a calm voice.

The lions were more curious then anything she knew… but curiosity also killed the cat and she would shoot if they crossed the lines… which she was desperately hoping she didn't have to as they were in the cats' territory after all, not the other way around even if they were ten miles away from the lions main dwelling.

One of her guns was loaded, not with bullets but super tranqs that would drop them instantly. She had no intentions of killing such beautiful creatures. The other gun held the real bullets that were a last resort.

Marcelo's head had peaked out as well and heard Irina as well as Ben in the other tents and all were now scrambling to grab their stuff and head towards Irina's tent.

"Stay with me," Irina looked over to Jack not wanting them to separate as he wasn't armed and walked towards the perimeter fires, with Irina standing guard while Jack stoked the fires adding more wood to make them larger and more menacing to scare the creatures.

One by one they moved around the circle, stoking the old fires and lighting new with eyes peeled, moving quickly but cautiously. On the last perimeter fire Irina saw the flash of green eyes not twenty feet from them where a cat was on the prowl and she fired intending to scare the cat away and scared the shit out of everyone else.

Jack jumped up immediately with eyes going to where the grass was moving rapidly as the cat ran away and Irina kept firing ensuring the cat would keep leaving and they saw four more lions following after her, afraid of the noise.

All the people in the tent heard were the gunfire and all were frozen in panic before Sydney finally moved and looked out to see her parents walking backwards towards the center fire. "Are you okay? What was that?" She asked rapidly.

"Just scaring them off." Irina called back with a smile while Jack threw more logs and grass onto the fire in the middle to glow brightly again. "No worries."

When they were all back in the tent Irina assured them it was okay and said she'd even stay up all night just to watch out; trying to explain the cats were more curious then anything. If they were on the attack, they wouldn't have made any noise. Their cries were warnings they were out there.

"From now on… the only wild safari I'm going on is the one at the San Diego Zoo." Weiss shook his head while making his new bed and everyone laughed.

"Oh you big baby!" Sydney teased him settling her own children in again, this time lying between she and Vaughn.

"Right Syd! Like I didn't see your face looking like you'd seen the bloody Ghost of Christmas Past!" Weiss shot back with a smile.

"Bloody ghost?" Sydney laughed, "You've been hanging out with Julian too much." She smirked looking over at her brother.

"How is it that you know so much about lions and such, anyway, Jane?" Weiss smiled up at Irina who was standing by the doorway watching them all get settled in the massive tent.

"They're not much different then Siberian Tigers which we learned about a great deal growing up," She smiled at Katya and then Mikhail, "But the majority of what I've learned comes from my friends the Maasai whom I've stayed with and learned from on more then one occasion. They've lived with lions for thousands of years. It's about respecting the animal and finding a way to co-exist."

* * *

When Jack awoke in the morning he found the bed the cameraman was in empty as well as Lena's and poked his head out to see him filming Irina who was sitting on her knees; with Lena sitting on her lap and both staring past their tent to something he couldn't see. Both looked completely calm and he wasn't sure if Irina was meditating or not but the slow movements of the cameraman caught his attention that, not all was it appeared to be.

Irina's hands were occupied with both guns loosely in her grip at her sides lying on the ground with fingers resting just to the side of each trigger. She never had the guns around their children and he took his cue from the cameraman and moved slowly out of the tent and as he looked back in the direction they were looking at, just behind and beside their tent, he saw what held both of their interest and the reasons for both guns in his wife's hands.

A lioness was lying just under the trip wire not three feet from the tent looking at Irina as she was looking at the lion. Her two cubs were sleeping upside down under her massive protective paws like the babies they were and reminding him of his own children and the way they slept. Irina and the lioness were both calm and studying each other it seemed and for the first time he saw what she really meant about learning to respect the animals and they'll respect you.

It was a silent stand off in some way between them and Jack wondered how long it had been going on; this show of two powerful women creatures whose gazes were locked in an eerie way. Two mothers who wouldn't hesitate to protect their young from an outside force trying to harm them; two queens of their kingdoms finding a mutual respect.

"How long has this been going on?" Jack asked quietly kneeling down super slowly on his haunches and maintaining his distance from Irina of about ten feet, not wanting to provoke the cat into thinking he was advancing on the people the lion had apparently made peace with. The shock at seeing this lioness with her cubs not twenty feet from them was incredible.

"About three hours…" Irina spoke softly still looking at the cat, "She came back, paced for a while with eyes locked to mine and then lay down… so I knelt too… and we've been this way since." Her heart had slowed down from its rapid beat, "Lena came out looking for me about an hour ago." She spoke slowly not taking her eyes away from the cat knowing that was a major 'no no' in breaking contact and potentially invoking a natural instinct to attack from the cat. Her daughter had remained fairly silent sitting on her lap staring at the massive cat and cubs.

The cubs began to wake up and took note of the new little person sitting against the figure they'd seen earlier and tugged playfully at their mother trying to play. The cubs advanced a couple of feet, tugging on each other but holding their gazes with Lena and suddenly she slowly stood and walked forward.

"Lena!" Irina called out with heart rapidly picking up it's pace as did Jack's and the cameraman's not wanting to scream or move too quickly and set something off so she stayed still, "Stop Lena! Stop!" She called out without shouting in a smooth voice terrified the mother lion would attack her child for advancing on them.

Lena stopped as her mother said but held her gaze with the cubs and took another few steps forward even as her parents both called out her name for her to stop. She did as they said after a few more steps and stopped half way between the mothers, ten feet from either and slowly knelt down as her mother had on her knees.

"Oh God…" Jack gasped in a whisper with pounding heart seeing his child and unable to move for fear of attack. "Irina… what do we do?" He called out softly trying to remain calm but knowing they had to do something as he watched the cubs inching closer and closer and the mother lion making sounds at them like she was scolding them to stay back, fearing their safety as well.

Sydney peaked her head out and then stepped out with Weiss and Oprah behind her, the only other three awake and hearing the calm chants of Lena's name to 'stop' were curious as to what was going on outside. From where they stood they could only see their mother kneeling with guns at her sides and Lena ten feet in front of her in the same position, Jack off to the side of Irina ten feet in front of them and the cameraman moving slowly around the back of them.

Sydney's eyebrows pinched as they walked out further to see what everyone was looking at, "What's going o-" died on her lips when they all stopped dead in their tracks just behind her father. "Oh God…" She gasped softly to see the lioness and cubs only ten feet in front of her sister. The cubs were edging closer and closer.

"Don't. Move." Irina instructed calmly and all three stood as stone with eyes glued to the scene before them. "Lena… don't move… be very still." She spoke to her daughter in a calm voice with eyes still locked on the mother lion.

Lena smiled at the playful cubs, not much bigger then puppies, with their cute fuzzy yellow ears and big eyes. "Come on." She whispered to them and had the adults gasping that she was calling to the cubs and holding her hand out. "I won't hurt you. Come on Little Ones."

"Lena Alix Irina…" Jack called out again trying not to get angry with her but she seemed to be completely in her own world with the cubs at this moment.

The cubs bounced and tugged on each other as they walked and the mother lion again scowled at them, but they too, paid no attention to their parent and kept coming towards the outstretched hand. The first one touched his nose to the tips of Lena's fingers and then licked them before the other pushed him out of the way and did the same while she kept her hand completely still, giggling softly at the tickling of their scratchy tongues.

When the cub nudged her hand she slowly petted him and he dropped down on his back with belly in the air for her to scratch there too. The other cub batted playfully with his paw at her arm wanting some attention too and she raised her other hand, closer to her body this time trying to lure them in and smiled widely when the little cub bounced up onto her lap and started to wrestle playfully with her arm, biting gently as he would with his mother or brother.

Both cubs started bouncing around and making tiny growling sounds playing with her while Lena giggled and the adults held their breath to see the cubs putting their mouths and sharp teeth around her tiny wrists and arms in their wrestling, leaving tiny red marks and scratches with their teeth that Lena didn't seem to mind.

"Oh my God… she's The Lion Whisperer." Weiss whispered with a smile and soft laugh in awe watching Lena playing with the lion cubs even he was scared of and not afraid at all of the mother lioness directly in front of her.

Perhaps it was her innocence that left her without fear of the dangerous cat… or maybe something else as they looked at her with the cubs and then the two mothers watching the interaction; such similar creatures even in their differences.

The lioness seemed just as interested in watching her cubs playing with this 'cub' of another kind and Lena's giggling and childish laughter echoed with the sounds of her own cubs little grunts and sounds as they played, now tugging with its teeth on her shirt shaking his head and trying to pull it from her body while she rubbed the playful cub on his head and kept the other on her lap where he was currently batting at the shinny locket on her neck catching the suns rays and intriguing him.

The mother lion was content to let her cubs play for another five minutes before she stood rapidly causing them all to suck in a quick rush of breath, fearful she'd attack Lena but instead, called out to her cubs with a low growl of a roar that it was apparently time to go. Both cubs immediately ceased in their play looking at their mother and then hiding down between their paws not wanting to go with one looking at his mother and yet continuing to lick Lena's arm.

The mother scowled at them again with impatience and the two cubs scampered off Lena and to her side. They began to walk away and the mother stopped, looked back at both Lena and Irina, holding Irina's gaze once more and then vanished into the tall grass.

"Are you okay?" Jack moved instantly to his child's side looking over her arms marred with the scratches from teeth and claws, mostly long thin red lines of welts with only the occasional break in the skin. "We told you to stop, Peanut! Why didn't you listen to Mama and Daddy?" His voice was on the edge of anger and panic seeing she wasn't really hurt and smiling.

"I just wanted to play with them, Daddy. They wanted to play too. They didn't hurt me." Lena looked up at him with her big eyes not understanding why he was so upset with her.

"Do you realize that Mama lion could have killed you? You're not supposed to play with lion cubs, Lena, they are wild animals!" Jack was holding her arms by the shoulders and it was Irina, this time, who stepped in, seeing he was being run now by delayed fear.

"Jack… she's okay… she didn't know… and no harm has been done." Irina wrapped her arm around Lena from behind, looking into his eyes and then softly touching his forearm where he still was gripping Lena. "Let it go."

"That was amazing!" Weiss smiled looking out over the grassy plain to see the lion and her cubs now a bit off in the distance heading home.

Jack looked from his daughter to her mother and back again, sighing and dropping his hands letting the fear leave his body. 'She is just like her mother.' A slow smile spread across his face thinking about Sydney's own lack of fear at this age and thankful, not for the first time, that they were out of the old ways of life and his daughter had a different future.

"Am I in trouble, Daddy?" Lena's little lip quivered looking up at him with the saddest of puppy dog looks and Jack couldn't help but smile.

"No, Peanut. You're not in trouble. You just scared, Daddy. Don't do that again, please." He brushed his hand over her face and held his arms out open for her, smiling when she launched herself into them and kissed her head smiling at Irina and shaking his head. "It was pretty amazing." He admitted whispering over her shoulder to her mother and seeing Irina smiling with a soft nod of agreement still in awe.

"After knowing Sydney and Irina, somehow I just knew Jack that your other two girls were going to give you the same run for your life." Kendall laughed over breakfast when everyone was awake and hearing of the spectacular event they missed this morning.

* * *

_Seville, Spain - One Week Later_

**_*Tango Flamenco*_**

The dance floor was cleared for the beginning of the dance by everyone's own accord completely fascinated watching Jack and Irina dancing such a seductive dance at this gathering of international people with the same interests.

The halter-top formfitting white dress with the slight train and dangerously high slit and low back Irina was wearing over her very African sun tanned body held the attention of many as did their fluid movements though the two dancing couldn't care less if anyone one else was there as their eyes remained locked.

Jack couldn't stop smiling sliding his hand dramatically slow up her thigh from where her naked leg poked out from the slit and wrapped around his hip, his hand disappearing under the fabric high on her leg before he dipped her with a naughty grin and then pulled her back to him tightly and spun her, their eyes meeting again with smiling laughter and smoldering looks.

"Hot damn, they're hot…" Weiss smiled laughing with his fingers linked to Sophia.

"I know!" Oprah smiled fanning herself, "I feel like I'm about to burst into flames here." She laughed softly with the group gathered.

"How do you compete with that?" Judy smiled looking stunning herself but in awe of the sexy beauty of Jack and Irina doing the tango in their own smoldering way.

"You don't." Karen smiled at her, "That's why we all stand on the sidelines and watch, drinking and fanning ourselves." She giggled.

"Well, there's a brave couple," Judy smiled pointing with her champagne glass towards the gorgeous woman and man joining Jack and Irina on the floor, dancing for just a moment together while the other two were oblivious and then, the man cut in on Jack with a wink and smile.

"Oh! What a brave man!" Vaughn laughed seeing the interception and Jack's stun before Jack was swept into the woman's arms and started dancing with him.

It took Jack's brain just a moment to release his brain and eyes from the man with Irina dipping her and staring down her chest to the woman in his arms and his heart all but jumped into this throat.

"Hola Jack," Elena smiled at him while she wrapped her leg over his hip and his hand instantly stilled on her thigh.

"Elena…" He gasped swallowing hard and snapping into action realizing that if he didn't keep dancing people would notice something amiss. He hadn't seen her in years… since just before Taipei and Irina turned herself in.

"Glad to see you remember my name." She smiled speaking with her sexy Castilian accent.

"I'm not likely to forget," His eyes locked with hers.

"I hope you don't mind… my interruption with your wife," Elena smiled with her sexy grin, sliding Jack's hand up her thigh dramatically as was part of the dance, "She really is quite beautiful… I can't wait to meet her." Her eyes twinkled and Jack swallowed hard with eyes flashing over to Irina who was looking back at him with a smile just before being spun around.

The thought of her meeting one of the women he'd been with during their separation for the first time causing him to sweat.

"Who is that woman dancing with your dad?" Vaughn asked Sydney with a curious eyebrow as they all watched fascinated at the brave souls who would interrupt Jack and Irina. "He seems like he knows her. They're talking."

"I don't know." Sydney shook her head softly with the same curiosity.

Another guest smiled softly over to Sydney, "Her name is Elena Maestro, Your Highness."

Sydney gasped with wide-eyes and paling.

"Sydney, what is it?" Katya asked with her hand on her niece's forearm, "Do you know who she is?"

"It's Elena!" Her head whipped to Katya's with wide eyes whispering loudly, "Dad's _Elena!_"

The moment she said it her face scrunched as it just sounded wrong and everyone in their group gasped as images from the film and action the theatre box flashed before them and then to the sexy dance with creeping hands on naked flesh between them now.

"Oh God, your mother…" Katya gasped with hand going over her mouth and eyes flashing to Irina who was staring at Jack and the woman with the look that said she was trying to figure out the connection as well, picking up on the fact they knew each other.

"Oh, Holy Hell, this is going to be interesting!" Weiss smiled with a whisper thinking about the flipside reaction to what they'd seen with Dubey.

"Tell me," Irina smiled at the man in a way she hadn't at another man in a long time trying to draw information out of him, "Who is the woman who has stolen my husband temporarily?"

"Her name is Elena… and that's all I know. She asked me to dance with you and I could hardly refuse the opportunity to dance with such a beautiful woman…" He smiled kissing her hand and Irina's eyes flashed back to Jack and the woman realizing instantly whom she was and watching in that moment as Jack dipped her back and their eyes caught.

"Checkmate." Weiss hissed out in a breath seeing the look pass between the two with Irina's eyes never leaving Jack's now even as she was spun around and dipped and Jack swallowing hard.

_'I will not get jealous. I will not get jealous.'_ Irina repeated the mantra in her mind remembering what had happened with Jack in regards to meeting Dubey and how her husband had learned to handle their encounters without glaring jealously and she was determined to do the same… but this was also different. It was clear the way the woman interrupted their dance, she wanted to make an entrance with Jack… if her intentions towards him weren't to flaunt it in someway… she would have introduced herself in another private way, not on the dance floor. This way she had Jack's sole focus, cleverly pushing Irina out, physically coming between them.

Seeing the two of them together now, Irina couldn't stop the onslaught of images from the film and for the first time really understood why it was that with Dubey around her drove Jack to have irrational thoughts. She had no fear that her husband loved this woman and would never leave her but it was unsettling nonetheless to have the physical reminder cutting in between them. She thought she was handling it well considering the fact that if Dubey had cut in on she and Jack dancing, Jack probably would have punched him in the face and an all out brawl would ensue.

"Ohhh, look at her. Her jaw is clenched." Weiss whispered to Sydney, studying Irina's reaction intensely.

"I think she's trying very hard to remain calm considering the fact the woman did just interrupt them in the Tango, the most sexual dance mimicking intimacy, by physically asserting herself in between them. I'd say my sister is doing very well." Katya felt her own heat rising with anger towards the woman who would dare do such a thing, "I guess this is the only way she knows Jack would ever put his hands on her in this way again and jumped on the opportunity."

"I just hope this doesn't turn into another war like Stripper Battleship only with the Tango." Weiss shook his head seeing the two couples engaged in the seductive dance with groping hands.

"I think they're past that stage…" Sydney inhaled a deep breath, "I hope."

"They are." Katya squeezed her hand assuredly with a smile knowing Irina at least, would never do such a thing again so deeply wounded in that last battle… although it did lead to some incredible and heated make-up action Irina mentioned causing Katya to smile even all these years later.

"Oh boy, oh boy," Weiss gasp seeing the song over, "Here goes nothing."

And all watched with baited breath as the two couples made their way over towards them.

Jack was sweating when the two women came face to face, "Irina, I'd like to introduce you to El-"

"Elena." Irina finished for him, extending her hand with a smile, playing it cool and determined not to let this woman who meant nothing get to her, "Your co-conspirator who whisked me away so that you could steal my husband for a short time, was kind enough to tell me your name." '_So much for playing it cool_.' She thought with a smile.

"Your _Majesty_…" Elena addressed her with a smirk and a hint of the dramatic flare in her eyes at such a title as if she were actually challenging Irina in a way and had everyone including Jack's eyes bugging, "Jack and I go-"

"Way back." Irina finished for her again, already ahead of the game and seeing the intentions in this woman's eyes. She knew she'd never be able to actually steal Jack away from Irina but she was going to have fun asserting, what her position was with Jack… many times, "Yes, I'm familiar with your history."

"Of course you are." Elena smiled with an almost feral grin, "I thought we were portrayed quite accurately in the film by the way… a little watered down maybe," Her seductive gaze went back to Jack and then back to Irina, "Nothing quite like the _vivid_ display shown of your own…relationships… in those years of separation." Her eyes went back to Jack's staring at him intently like she didn't care Irina was there at all, "That's ok though… it's nice to keep some things private and just between the two of us."

Everyone's eyes refused to blink thinking this woman must certainly have a death wish; first reminding Irina of her sexual relationship with Jack… then saying it was watered down when what they saw was quite hot already… and then to rub salt in the giant slice she'd just made by bringing Irina's wild sex life with Dubey up as well and then, going as far as to suggest Jack hadn't told Irina everything about the extent of their relationship… like he lied about how 'intent' it really was for the films.

Jack felt like he was being shot in slow motion feeling every bullet and slice she was insinuating, in shock she was actually saying what she had and fearing he was about to watch a nuclear holocaust unfold with Irina's reactions.

"I agree. Some things should be kept between the privacy of two people. Jack and I keep a lot of things to ourselves and from each other on occasion… but never… the really important things." Irina smiled and everyone heard the '_boom_' from the stealthy counter-missile she launched back, basically suggesting that whatever it was between Elena and Jack that he hadn't shared with her, wasn't 'really important' if he hadn't shared it with her… didn't merit being told because it didn't mean anything. "It's been a pleasure meeting you, Elena and I'm sure the two of you have a lot to talk about and catch up on," Her eyes flashed back and forth between Jack and the woman, "Now, if you'll excuse me… I need to go tuck our children into bed for the night."

"And the dismissal." Weiss whispered with a proud smile into his wife's ear standing behind her watching Irina shut the woman down while still wearing a smile and never raising her voice.

By just excusing herself and suggesting that she and Jack go talk and catch up while Irina left, essentially told the woman, _I'm not threatened by you or your past position in my husband's life and I trust him… so try all you want to sabotage us or start a fight, it's not going to work_.

Irina kissed both of Elena's cheeks and then Jack's lips with a smile, "I'll see you in a little while." She wiped the lipstick from his upper lip with her finger, "I'll tell them all, _Daddy sends his love _and_ says goodnight_." She smiled again speaking softly and then turning to leave.

**_*So Cold*_**

Jack watched Irina walk away and knew she'd just given a brilliant performance of a confidence she didn't fully feel and he understood why… he'd been there. Walked away to let her talk with Dubey and even watched the man tell her he loved her… She was offering him the same chance to say goodbye but all he wanted to do was hold her, kiss her and make love to her after coming face to face with Elena, a visual reminder of what his life had been like without his wife…wild, meaningless sex that had always been about seeking comfort in the oblivion of another trying to forget the one that was lost and failing every time.

What he saw when he looked at Elena now was the flash of regret and anger every time their affair was over and he'd climaxed and finished. Regretful in that he'd always felt like he was cheating on his wife, 'Laura' and their love and angry that 'Irina' could make him feel that way when she wasn't 'real' to begin with he could… or at least should be able to fuck whomever he wanted without feeling guilty.

He wondered if this was how Irina had felt, when he'd come face to face with Dubey in her presence for the first time. The unsettling feelings… the guilt, the longing, the pain and the misery that being with 'this person' suddenly represented in their lives… years spent without each other, the one they really loved… lost in another's bed sheets and comfort.

When he'd first encountered Dubey with Irina on the beach that day he'd been blindsided to a degree when the man had his hands all over his wife and kissed her… now it was Irina who had been blindsided with the first encounter of himself with a former lover, with Elena all over Jack and his hands on her mimicking the dance of making love… it couldn't have been more torturous for Irina, he knew because it was torturous for him. His mind once again asking itself, if that's how it had been with her too? Knowing he was watching when Dubey put his hands on her and kissed her… spoke of wanting to have a baby with her and the 'private' parts of their relationship she hadn't yet revealed to him then?

Was it torturous for her in those moments to have him hearing those things, seeing things? He thought about the way she wouldn't look at him in the hours after that encounter, or speak to him… he'd been so angry at the time he hadn't thought about the why but looking back now, he realized she had felt the same way he was feeling right now… _ashamed_. Ashamed that the one' they loved had to see that… ashamed that it had hurt them. Ashamed as something they both saw as a weakness in themselves from that time… that they needed to seek comfort from someone else.

She was ashamed. Something else she kept in her highly guarded secret garden she still kept to herself. She'd let something out or show him a little at a time and every time after he realized there was that much more she kept inside. It wasn't done intentionally… to leave him out or keep these secrets in her heart, she did it to protect herself… as she had for so long…it was a part of her that would always exist and added to the intrigue and another reason why he loved her so much… her heart was an ocean of secrets that every now and then she'd share something with him from…

Years ago, she'd shared with him her secret about their son; a week ago… she'd shared with him the secret of how much Jaxx looked like him and that Lena had a lot of his personality. She was constantly revealing things to him that she'd kept highly guarded and he could count a hundred of them over the years that she'd shared with him and he knew she'd share a hundred more and for every one of those hundred… there would be a hundred she'd never share.

The shame in herself she felt that day on the beach… was one of those secrets… something she would have never shared.

They were both now seeing and feeling what it was like on the opposite side of the coin; and it hurt even if the positive side was it brought a new and complete understanding. All either of them, wanted to do while Irina walked away from the party, and Jack out onto the terrace was hold onto each other and never let go.

"So are you going to go or am I?" Katya asked Sydney, tossing back what was left in her champagne glass watching her sister disappear while grabbing another champagne glass off a tray on her way out and knowing her all too well to know Irina was not fine after that brutal blast from the past.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." Sydney sighed doing the same with her own champagne having flashbacks to Jakarta. "I'll go."

"I think that's a good idea," Katya smiled at her running her hand up and down supportively on Sydney's naked bicep, "You were there for her on the flip side of this… I've no doubt to be held by you, is exactly what she needs again."

"Thanks." Sydney smiled softly and set out.

Irina walked slowly down the hallway with her bodyguards trailing at a distance behind her giving her space as she headed towards the steps surpassing the elevator in the enormous villa like hotel on her way up to see her babies. Her mind was swirling with emotions threatening to drown her and with that thought she downed her champagne in one gulp ascending the staircase.

The actors in the film had now been replaced with the real people they had portrayed: her husband and Elena. It was Elena's face and body she saw now in the images assaulting her brain of her husband thrusting into her and Elena's taunt ringing through her ears of it being 'watered down.' The way they moved in the dance mimicking making love tonight showed a comfort of bodies and movements well known to each other and she hated that thought. Hated even more the woman's mentioning of her own knowledge and movements of and with another's body… Dubey.

She understood now, what Jack must have felt like when he'd met Dubey… when he'd met Cuvee even before that, not knowing the reality behind that relationship. The sheer pain and torture it was to see the one you love with someone they used to seek comfort in… have an intimate relationship with no matter what kind.

She'd been so tempted to fly across the room and rip them apart and pummel the woman in the face when her intentions became clear and she desperately had to restrain herself from doing so… especially hearing her speak of 'that' relationship she'd had with her Jack and then daring to look at him like they were the only ones in the room and completely purposely ignoring her… taunting her.

Irina knew that if she didn't leave then and there she would do something she would regret… most likely breaking the woman's neck though she was now regretting not at least punching her good and knocking her out.

Sydney followed behind her a distance, giving some space and wanting to watch her mother before she approached her, trying to gauge her state of mind and the slump in the almost always regal shoulders and posture sent a pretty big message. Watching her open her bedroom door and then close it behind her, Sydney slowly opened it behind her just in time to see her mother pace rapidly back in forth in two quick short patterns before spinning and throwing her champagne glass with tremendous force onto the stones of the balcony where the doors were open and a soft breeze was making the long white curtains dance in and out of the door way.

Irina was completely unaware Sydney was in the doorway as she grabbed the glasses off the mini-bar table and hurled one after the other onto the stones, the sounds of shattering glass echoed relentlessly until she'd thrown every piece and then the bottles of white wine until there was nothing left to shatter.

"Mom…" Sydney called out with blurry tears in her eyes stepping away from the door.

Irina wheeled around and sucked in a breath realizing now that Sydney was there and her resolve crumbled as her daughter wrapped her arms around her body and held her tightly and she just gave up trying to hold back the tears.

"It's okay." Sydney spoke softly running her hand down the back of her mother's long hair and holding her tightly while her mother cried. Feeling her warm tears against her skin, Sydney's own began to fall in silent streams. "It's okay."

The first time she'd met Alice, Vaughn's girlfriend all those years ago it had felt like a severe punch right to her heart to be so in love with him, and know that he went home to her at night. That he sought comfort in her body even though she knew… Vaughn was in love with her then. But they couldn't be together and so he tried to forget her with Alice.

Her parents had done the same… trying to forget the one they loved and couldn't have by seeking comfort in another. The punch to both of their hearts in meeting these people they'd sought comfort in, Dubey and Elena, was as devastating as her meeting Alice, only more… more because her parents had been together before these people and had sought comfort in each other's bodies and really knew what they were trying to forget in seeking comfort in another's.

Even though she knew her parents weren't angry at each other anymore for the comfort they sought in their years of separation with others, they still didn't want to be reminded of it, come face to face with the physical reminder that the one they loved had tried to forget them by seeking comfort in another.

She felt the same way about Alice. If she ever saw her again she had no doubt she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the pain she was in when she and Vaughn couldn't be together, the pain of knowing he had sought comfort in Alice to try and forget her and it'd hurt to know that he had even tried to… like a violation of their love she had no right to feel at the time because it had never been expressed really… but her parents love had… and that is why they both felt that violation so deeply… committing them at the time and then learning of the other's, after. Mad at themselves, for ever trying to, and hurt by each other for the same reason.

Just like with Alice, it didn't matter that they had no right to feel it at the time, it still hurt then and it still hurt now… especially coming face to face with it; and then having it flaunted in your face.

"Thank you," Irina pulled back with a soft smile, sniffling and wiping at her tears and then reaching out to do the same with Sydney. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset… I'm sorry you had to see that." She tried to smile, biting her lip to bite back a sob and trying to regain control of her breathing.

"Mom… its okay. You have every right to be upset." Sydney smiled at her, reaching out to wipe a new tear falling from her mother's eye, "It's not easy… I know. It's okay…" She smiled blinking back tears, "I thought you handled yourself very well actually." Sydney laughed softly, "I was completely ready to back you up if you hit her." She smiled and got Irina to laugh softly with her, "I mean Dubey had no idea who Dad was on the beach that day… he wasn't trying to antagonize Dad, but this lady… she's quite the piece of work. That she actually had the nerve to cut in on you and Dad… during the Tango!" She shook her head with a smile trying to make her mother smile through her upset and anger, "And then spew the shit… sorry, crap," She apologized with a smile not liking to curse around her mother, "That she did from her mouth!" She shook her head again, "Unbelievable."

"You were right the first time," Irina smiled, "It was _shit!_" She added and made them both laugh.

"I really was proud of the way you kept slamming her so politely with a smile on your face," Sydney smiled and laughed softly, "It reminded me of when I was little and Sarah Peters kept pulling my hair at ballet and you had a polite 'chat' with her and I was thinking, '_That's my Mommy!_' with so much pride."

"You remember that?" Irina smiled with slight awe in her voice shaking her head softly.

"Yep, its one of the few memories of right before you left that I managed to hang on to." Sydney smiled, "I thought about that day many times over the years I was growing up and faced with similar situations… at first, when I was still little I'd be thinking 'Mommy would take care of it if she was here' and then as I got older, started taking care of it myself, in the way I thought you would have… make you proud."

"Oh, Sweetheart," Irina stepped forward wrapping her arms around her daughter and holding on with new tears, "I am so proud of you… every minute of everyday. I love you so much I will never be able to express it properly or in a way you rightfully deserve." She pulled back and cupped Sydney's cheeks with her hands, "You always know just what my heart needs… you." She smiled, "I love you, Sydney… to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth… I love you."

"Forever and always." Sydney smiled, "I love you too, Mom." They both smiled and sighed loudly before laughing softly.

"I really wanted to hit her, Sydney." Irina admitted shaking her head with a smile and Sydney laughed.

"Yeah, I know. I saw your jaw clench and your fingers rolling into a fist." She smiled, "Like I said… I would have been right there as your back up," She laughed, "Not that you would have needed it for that light weight antagonist."

"You always make me laugh," Irina laughed softly and then kissed Sydney's forehead. "Thank you. You go ahead and go back to the party with your loving husband. I'm going to put the troops to bed as I promised I would."

"Are you going to come back down after?" Sydney asked as they walked towards the door.

"I don't know, Sweetheart. We'll see." She smiled brushing a strand of Sydney's long hair over her ear. "I'll see you later," She kissed her cheek, "I love you."

"I love you, too." Sydney smiled whispering back and pegging her mother's cheek before heading down.

Irina opened the door to the adjacent bedroom the children were staying in with Dmitri right now and found only one light on in the corner where he was awake reading a book in his robe and glasses with Lena on his lap. Nicholas and Nadia were already asleep on the bed.

"They tried to stay awake for you," Dmitri smiled speaking softly, "But their tired little eyes just couldn't do it."

"Awe…" Irina felt her heart get heavy looking over them and hearing they tried so hard and she'd broken her promise to put them to bed. She picked up Nadia's legs over the sheets and gently put them underneath, pulling up the blanket and tucking her in. She knelt down to look at her little turned face that was so beautiful and always made her smile and Irina leaned in and kissed the corner of her mouth with a gentle lingering kiss whispering 'I love you and goodnight, My Love' in Russian into her ear.

"Mama…" Nadia stirred beneath her, the voice seeping into her subconscious.

"Shhh baby… its okay, go back to sleep. Mama loves you." She whispered again in her ear, kissing the spot just before her little ear.

"Love you too, Mama." Nadia murmured beneath closed lids and Irina smiled before moving around the bed to Nicholas and doing the same.

He was a dead sleeper, just like his Daddy and could sleep in impossible positions that always made Irina smile. She moved him more towards the center of the bed to make room for Lena who would join them in a minute and then kissed him and whispered the same.

"I'm sorry I'm late." She smiled at Dmitri and Lena reaching out for her daughter to put her to bed.

"Mama, you've been crying." Lena reached up, palming Irina's cheeks and forcing her to look into her eyes, "Why are you sad?" She asked with her own sad little face.

Dmitri's eyes immediately flashed up inspecting Irina more closely in the darkened room and saw the tears tracks as well.

"It's nothing, Snuggle Bug, Mama's okay." She smiled and kissed her little neck; this daughter just as perceptive as the other. "Now… I see that you've already read your stories so there is just one thing left to do before I tuck you in." She walked away from Dmitri knowing he would press further for the reasons why she was crying and she could distract Lena from them more easily with reciting 'Goodnight Moon' as was their nightly ritual.

"In the great green room…" Irina began with a smile looking out the window with Lena at the enormous moon and proceeded to recite the words to her favorite book with the both of them going back and forth with lines until it was finished and they did the 'Hush hush hushs' quietly together.

"You brushed your teeth?" Irina sat on the edge of the bed after tucking her in and confirming the checklist of nightly routines.

"Yes." Lena smiled adjusting Mr. Yellow Bear under the blankets.

"Okay," Irina smiled, leaning down and kissing her forehead and then each eyelid and mouth, "I love you to the moon and back," She whispered over her.

"More than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth," Lena whispered back with a smile brushing her nose with Irina.

"Forever and always… I love you, My Love." Irina finished and kissed her lips again, "Goodnight and sleep tight."

"And don't let the bed bugs bite!" Lena giggled when Irina got up from the bed.

"Go to sleep, Snuggle Bug." Irina smiled walking towards the door, "Thank you, Dmitri." She kissed both of his cheeks and turned quickly before he could keep her there to question her.

"Irina," He called out softly after her, rarely ever calling her by her name… always addressing her by her title out of 'respect' he said, rather then her name and so she took note as she turned the difference. His eyes locked with hers in the soft light of the room from the single lamp, "I love you, Child. Very much…" He spoke softly in a serious tone, words he felt but rarely spoke, as was their way for so many years. But tonight, he knew that she needed to hear it… and he needed to say it seeing her hiding something that had made her upset.

Irina's eyes got tears in them again as she smiled softly with her breath taken away every time he spoke to her with such love and fatherly pride, "I love you too, Papa." She smiled and this time took his breath away by calling him _just_ 'Papa' in a way she never had before, kissing her fingertips and blowing him a kiss, "Very much." And then shut the door separating the rooms of the massive suite behind her seeing the tears instantly start forming in his eyes. She loved her real father Dmitri very, very much and he would forever and always be her father, her Papa as he brought her into this world and gave her and gave up, so much for her. Loving her unconditionally. She had only known him for sixteen short years. Dmitri had kept his vow to her real father to step into his shoes and take care of her at all costs and had for more then half her life, been her father, even more so then Alexei, in every way. After thirty-one years, he was her 'Papa' and he deserved to be called that.

She walked back into her room, not feeling at all like being sociable right now at the party and shut the door. The breeze blowing in softly through the windows making the curtains dance was welcome in the heat and she walked out onto the balcony, looking down at the mess she'd made. The full moon glinting off the slivers of clear and green glass shards mixed in a sea of clear yellow liquid where the wine had painted the stones under her feet.

The crunch under her heels as she walked to the edge reminded her of the crunch she felt in her heart and looked down from her private balcony in time to see Jack and Elena leaving the space below. The way his hand naturally hovered over the small of her back as he let her pass first felt like a kick to the gut and strangled her heart causing the tears to flow again seeing the comfortable ease between them. He wasn't thinking… it was just second nature and she couldn't stand to watch anymore when Elena leaned up and kissed him… goodbye or whatnot, Irina didn't care, she couldn't bear to watch and the angry and hurt tears began to flow; angry at him, angry at her, and angry at herself for letting this hurt her.


	46. Chapter 46

_**AN: The beginning of this chapter may be a bit hot and intense, but it is done with reason. **_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Nyah **_**by Hans Zimmer from MI:2 Soundtrack**_**, I Would Die For You **_**by Jann Arden**_**, Christmas Is All Around **_**by Bill Nighy**__**from the Love Actually Soundtrack, **_**Forever Young **_**by the Pretenders, _Stacy's Mom_ by Fountains of Wayne, _My Sharona_ by The Knack.**

* * *

FORTY-SIX

o

Jack walked quickly up the steps once inside after parting ways forever with Elena and wanting nothing more then to take Irina into his arms and kiss her, to touch her and to tell her he loved her over and over after facing the reminder of what it was like without her. He quietly opened the door to the room his children were sleeping in, knowing she had left to put them down and hoping to find her still in there so they could talk privately.

His eyes immediately landed on his three sleeping children snuggled together in a bed and then to Dmitri on the far side of the bed reading with the small light on.

"Is Irina, still here?" Jack asked quietly looking around the room, "Is she in the bathroom?" His eyes flashed towards the door at the far end of the room.

Dmitri shook his head 'no' and studied Jack with his eyes, noting the tone in his voice that held an edge of urgency and panic and his eyes were flashing wildly searching and obviously upset.

"She's crying…" Dmitri spoke softly trying very hard not to get mad at Jack in his protective father mode, especially after she had just called him 'Papa.' "What happened?" He asked with more of an ordering tone then a request.

Jack's heart sank to hear she was crying and all the more frantic to pull her into his arms.

"Dmitri, please… where is she?" He asked again with a plea in his voice, understanding the fatherly instincts to interrogate and drill anyone who hurt their little girls but he really didn't want to get into what had happened. "Please… I need to talk to her, to make it right."

Dmitri looked at him for a long moment and decided the man looked just about as upset as Irina, over hearing that he'd made her cry and took pity on him… wanting him to make it right for Irina. "I think she's in your room."

"Thank you." Jack gasped with relief. "Thank you." He nodded and Dmitri did the same while Jack slowly closed the door. He walked into their room and didn't see her but saw the balcony curtains blowing into the room and as he walked towards them saw her silhouetted form behind the sheer white fabric, illuminated by the moonlight. He stepped through the curtain without looking down and stopped with the crunch of the glass beneath his feet that also drew her attention.

Irina turned around with tear-stained face and looked at him once and then down to the mess on the ground and then back out over the grounds. The tears, the glass, the silence… testimonies to how upset she was.

"Irina, I'm sorry."

She could hear him coming up slowly behind her with every crunching footstep.

"Don't be." Irina responded knowing he had more to say, more to explain but she didn't know if she could take hearing it, "I know what its like now… on this side of the fence. To be blindsided with the former lover of your spouse… the one they sought comfort in to try and forget you…" She gasped trying to hold back a sob and Jack reached out to grab the back of her arm softly and she turned her head further away.

"Irina, please…" Jack begged with a soft voice and knot in his throat, tears already in his eyes and hating that she was pulling away… and being so forgiving at the same time.

"No, Jack, its okay… really." She held herself back from crying full out and it was making her voice thicker then normal and accent more pronounced, "You don't owe me any explanations or apologies as I did the same," She gasped again at the end of the sentence with shame in her voice, "I sought comfort with another man to try and forget you. So now we're really equal in our understanding and I'm sorry for hurting you like this with Dubey."

"Irina-" Jack tried again and she cut him off quickly, the pain too raw right now to hear anything.

"I really do understand now, Jack, really… I feel it," She finally looked at him with her big dark eyes glistening with tears and streaming down her face, "How much it hurts to see the one you love with the one they tried to forget you with…" She inhaled a sharp shaking breath trying to stop a sob, and then continuing on in almost a whisper, "Sought comfort in… standing right before you in the flesh, sharing something between them and it feels like you've been gutted, had your heart ripped out and stomped on remembering how hard it was to be alone without them and then angry at them and yourself, for ever trying to forget you… forget them…for seeking comfort in another. I'm sorry…" She added in a whisper.

"I don't want you to be sorry," Jack choked back his tears and his heart pounded rapidly remembering, "I just want you to seek comfort in me." He grabbed her forcefully pulling her to him with face inches from her own, "And I want to seek comfort in you… the only one who could ever really give it to me."

**_*Nyah*_**

Irina lunged at him with mouths meeting in a frantic bruising kiss, her tongue sweeping his mouth while her fingers roughly grabbed his tuxedo jacket and pulled it off his shoulders and down his arms while Jack worked furiously to undo his belt and pants.

Her hands ripped off his tie throwing it behind her while their mouths continued at a frenzied pace matching their movements. His hands shoved his pants down at the same time Irina's hands ripped his shirt open spraying buttons onto the already littered balcony, too impatient with need to undo them and threw his shirt down with the rest.

He was rapidly stepping out of his shoes and hissing against her mouth in pain stepping on the broken glass and not caring with his hand pulling her closer to his rapidly heating body from heart already pounding and slid his hand up the slit in her dress grasping her naked ass and pulling her leg up over his hip and sliding his fingers through her soaking folds, gripping her thong and ripping it off under her dress not wanting any restrictions just all of her.

Irina gasped against his mouth rocking into his hand when he slid one and then two fingers into her white-hot core screaming for release and already quivering with his touch.

With one hand stroking her heat and making her whimper in the sounds he loved, holding her hostage close to his body with fingers plunged inside her and curling towards him, he moved the other to the thin strap around her neck holding her dress up and tore it free, exposing her chest he immediately assaulted with his hot mouth wanting to brand her every inch with his tongue and intending too.

With her dress hiked up and her melting crux brushing against his rock hard cock between their bodies her hand slid easily up and down his shaft with her own juices making him mad and thrust into her hand unconsciously with his own mews of torture.

Irina couldn't take it anymore with her entire being screaming for release and hooked her leg around the back of his knees and jerked while she fell backwards onto the balcony and bringing him down onto of her with a crunch and gasp to land on the broken glass and alcohol instantly burning into the new wounds.

"Irina!" Jack gasped horrified she'd just landed on top of a rather thick layer of glass that had to be cutting into her back painfully.

"I don't care, Jack! I just need you, now! Please..." She reached up with tears raining down her eyes from the pain in her heart, hoping to balance it out into nothing but pleasure with the physical pain of the glass cutting into her body as she moved beneath him, rather feeling that then the pain in her heart of remembering what it was like without him and began pulling him down closer to her and locking their mouths again in a steamy kiss with probing tongues. She bucked her hips up against his throbbing cock pressing into her abdomen and connected her slick heat with his making them both moan and wanting to be nothing but one.

One last barrier stood in his way and Jack ripped the dress from her body kissing down the middle of her chest and quivering abdomen and not caring about the glass digging into his own legs and feet where he sat in a puddle of alcohol around them and kissed back up with hands feeling her skin everywhere he could in frantic touches and mouth branding before claiming her mouth again. His cock so hard and her core so wet in one syncopated thrust he claimed her and she claimed him, holding him tightly with her muscles and stealing both their breath and making Irina hiss with the glass digging into her back.

The urgency to lose themselves in each other never ceased and Jack immediately began to pound into her with a relentless pace, the glass painfully digging into his forearms and elbows where they braced themselves on either side of her and contrasting wildly with the incredible pleasure of being wrapped in her tight heat that was gripping him furiously and with such strength he had to clench his teeth to try and cover the loud moans erupting from his body mixing with the need to scream.

He knew this was self-inflicted torture on both their parts as some kind of perverse punishment, for ever wanting to forget about the other in the arms of another and healing the wounds still residing within forever, by letting it all go in frenzied mess of pain and pleasure… letting it bleed out of them and into them, consuming them as they began one again.

With each one of his brutal thrusts into her a surge of pain and pleasure hit her simultaneously with the glass tearing into her back and his granite shaft filling her completely and stoking her nerve bundles inside on the verge of explosion with this intoxicating mixture. Never in either of their lives had they ever been this frantic in their need to connect, feel, taste, and touch all at once as much as much as they could, unable to get enough of the other.

Jack's eyes suddenly flashed to the giant swirling clouds of red mixed into the glass shards and once white wine with Irina's blood and he rolled them quickly not wanting her to feel anymore pain and hissed himself locking mouths with her to stop any protest and cover his moans and cries feeling the shards dig painfully into his back while he continued to thrust up into her rolling his hips madly in shallow thrusts until she took over.

She tossed her half dry, half wine soaked hair over her shoulder with a flip of her head, and the shards of glass tangled there glinting with the light of the full moon. She braced herself by locking fingers with him and pressed his arms and hands all the way down and knees to either side of his gasping with the new glass wounds digging into her shins and pulled herself up and off him quickly with a hiss only to plunge back down rapidly and begin her own impossibly fast pace that had Jack whimpering and hissing in a long continuous breath about to explode. His feet planted against the floor and matching her thrusts with his.

Her blood mixed with the wine running in grotesque streams down her arms and sides in the rawness of the passion, dripping onto him and squishing in between their' locked fingers. Irina rolled them again, not wanting him to feel anymore pain and knowing she had a higher tolerance for it. She could take it, if it was taking the pain away from him.

Fingers stilled locking palms together he slid her arms up over her head and drove them both home knowing they were too close now to battle about who was on bottom and who was on top. He covered her mouth with his own in a mingling of tongues to swallowing the final screams of the passion and pain and both shattering into the blinding oblivion together with bodies, hearts, souls and minds in-sync. In the face of ecstasy they felt no more pain, only the pleasure of being one and having found their comfort so completely in each other.

**_*I Would Die For You*_**

"I love you…" Irina looked up at him with swimming eyes glinting in the moonlight with fresh tears, speaking in a whisper and reaching up to tenderly touch his face as they came down from their high with pounding hearts and fast breath.

Jack couldn't help the tears forming in his own eyes looking down her, so beautiful even lying surrounded by the now red sea of their amalgamated blood and wine and thousands of shards of glass from the pain and anger released and let go forever, but in her eyes he saw only solace, and overwhelming love. She was always everything he ever needed and his lips dropped to hers, kissing them softly without any of the urgency that had consumed them both before.

"I love you, Irina… forever and always." He whispered against her lips and then kissed her again as they held onto each other, still connected.

With mouth melded to her's he rocked back onto his feet and pulled her up with him, her legs remaining locked around his waist and he walked them across the blood and destruction back into their room, his hands holding onto her slippery form and feeling the shards of embedded glass in her back when he laid her down on the bed and slid his hand up under her.

"There's glass embedded in your back," He broke the kiss and looked down at her with worry in his eyes.

"We'll take care of it later… I don't care right now," She shook her head softly looking up at him with intense eyes and fingers running through his own sticky hair and down his neck. "I just don't care… all I care about in this moment, is you."

Her hands tugged on the back of his neck and lifted her head from the pillow to kiss him again with languid caresses, making love to his mouth while the rest of their bodies began to recover and Jack started growing hard again still inside her with her heat and muscles caressing him back into form.

They were both too exhausted in the end and fell asleep completely numb to everything but the burning of their love for each other in their hearts.

Jack awoke first in the early light of morning streaming in through their balcony. Irina was draped over his chest, as she always was, his little security blanket with her ear over his heart and his hand on her back. When he tried to move his fingers he realized they were sticking from where her blood had dried around them.

Ever so carefully, he pulled them free and felt the glass beneath his touch and shook his head, mad at himself that he didn't take it out last night though she seemed completely undisturbed by it all now. With an ease long since perfected, after he started getting up in the mornings to care for Lena when she was a baby, he slid out from under Irina and replaced his body with a pillow. She usually woke up right away, looked at him and went right back to sleep but this morning she was too exhausted and snuggled into the pillow making some cute happy contented murmur noise that made him smile.

His smile quickly faded into a look of abject horror looking at her back that was completely covered in blooded and shredded with glinting pieces of green and silver glass sticking out of her skin. Their bed looked like it was out of a horror movie with blood stains everywhere covering every surface from his own bloody body and her's. His feet were killing him and when he looked at the bottom of one foot saw several glass shards embedded in them as well.

His knees and shins were shredded and he could see that Irina's were as well and he would have shaken his head at the idiocy of going along with her when she said she didn't care about the glass last night if not for the smile, still on her face even in sleep. He'd do anything to see that smile and obviously to his wife, this time the pain she went through was worth it.

He hobbled trying not to curse loudly on his mangled feet towards the dresser to find his shaving kit he knew had a tweezers and his eyes caught the shards of glass now glinting in the sunlight on the balcony; the pieces of green and silver were surrounded by a massive pool of red blood and wine, torn clothing and buttons like some kind of twisted shrine.

He had no idea how they were going to explain this to the hotel staff. It looked like someone or several people… had been killed in their room. When he looked down, he noticed he was tracking blood all over the white, carpeted floor and cursed again for leaving bloody footprints wherever he'd gone.

With tweezers in hand he hobbled to the bathroom and rinsed his feet in the bathtub watching as the blood from his feet and legs turn the water pink and swirled down the drain taking some of the glass with it. What was left, he meticulously plucked out with the tweezers. His feet and legs were bleeding all over again now and he wrapped them with towels trying to stop the bleeding, put on a robe, knowing Irina was going to have to deal with his own back, grabbed his First Aid kit and headed out to help her knowing their Munchkins were going to be up soon.

He sat carefully down on the edge of the bed behind Irina and began to start pulling the glass from her. He found the big ones first in the mirage of mingle fresh and dried blood and carefully pulled each of them out before she jumped in her sleep coming awake from a nightmare from a similar torture not quite so sweet. Her head immediately whipped around and Jack froze not wanting to make any sudden movements until he knew she was fully awake and realized it was him, and not someone else whom she would attack.

"Jack…" She sighed and let her head flop back onto the pillow in relief.

"Sorry, your back is a mess. I just wanted to start getting the glass out. I didn't mean to scare you." He apologized softly with tweezers and bowl of already plucked glass in his lap, "This has got to be the worst idea I have ever gone along with you on." He shook his head, "I should have picked you up and moved you inside."

"No." She reached out and touched his arm with a soft smile, "Sometimes the only way to let go of the pain… is to bleed." Irina spoke softly and her eyes held to his, "I'm okay, really… I love you."

"I love you," He leaned forward kissing her lips and hissed at the glass in his back making its presence known, "Some of these cuts will go away, a lot of them will scar into little scratches," He looked over her back and saw a few particularly nasty gashes that he may even have to close with stitches and shook his head again, "And some of them are deep enough I'm going to have to stitch close and you'll definitely have scars."

"Then I'll scar." Irina answered resolutely and then softened her tone, "And finally add some happy ones to my body… ones I've gotten from love rather then hate." She smiled, "I don't regret it, Jack… and I don't want you to either." Her smile faded as she thought a moment, "I needed last night in a way I can't even explain… I just needed that."

Irina's mind flashed through Kashmir and the various kinds of torture leaving her in pain and then to last night… a self-inflicted kind of pain from bittersweet torture that left her feeling like she'd let something go, instead of having it taken and regained an enormous new sense of love and comfort instead of feeling its loss echoing through her soul.

He suspected that whatever the explanation was had something to do with what she'd lost in Kashmir from the fleeting look in her eyes and that this was something else she'd keep in her secret garden of things she'd never share… or perhaps someday down the road when she was ready.

All he knew was that he saw a new sense of peace in her eyes that he'd never seen before and that was worth it all.

"I don't regret it… I'll never… ever regret making love with you." Jack leaned in whispering again with a soft smile before kissing her.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Christmas Eve 2008_

**_*Christmas Is All Around*_**

They'd just finished dinner and came to sit before the fireplace to open gifts as they did every year with the mountains of gifts growing and growing with the addition of new children and every year more fun to watch them open them.

"Why is that box moving?" Irina's eyes widened looking over at a large box that Weiss had put beside the tree just moments ago, "And barking?" Her voice rose when they heard the tiny yelp come from within.

"Go ahead Princess Tiger Lilly," Weiss smiled at Lena and motioned for her to go open it when he saw her eyes widen.

"Oh you didn't…" Jack sighed looking over at the man while his daughter bounded over to the box and removed the red ribbon.

"Oh but I did." Weiss smiled widely and Lena squealed.

"A puppy!" She reached in the deep box where the fluffy head of the dog was sticking out with a bow around its neck.

"That's not a puppy! That's more like a bear!" Katya gasped with a smile watching her son-in-law help Lena get the animal out of the box. "What is that thing?" She asked with wide eyes.

"It's Nana!" Lena giggled madly as the little beast licked her face incessantly.

"Who?" Marcelo asked with a smile seeing her cute little form with the massive puppy giggling to death under the maddening licks.

"From Peter Pan! It's Nana!" Lena giggled and fell backwards while the puppy continued to tickle her with its tongue.

"You got her a St. Bernard?" Jack gaped at the tiny beast of fluff who was terribly cute, and large.

"Well I couldn't get her a lion so this was the next best thing." Weiss smiled with a laugh watching the puppy wrestling his Goddaughter.

"How old is that thing?" Katya couldn't believe the size.

"She…" He smiled emphasizing that the dog was a female and not an it, "Is only eight weeks old… but she weighs almost 30lbs." He laughed seeing their mouths drop open while the kids went crazy playing with her.

"Eight weeks old and already 30lbs!" Jack gasped, "She'll be able to ride that thing!"

"Oh come on, Jack." Weiss gave him the best sad puppy face pulling Lena and the puppy onto his lap, "Look how cute they are together."

Jack couldn't argue there; they were impossibly cute together and the dog was beautiful with perfect markings, covered in soft fluffy puppy fur that would soon turn into a gorgeous long haired coat.

"What are you going to name her, Lena?" Sydney asked with a big smile wondering where in the world he'd hidden that puppy.

"Nana!" Lena continued to giggle madly with the puppy turning its head up to lick her chin, already loving its new owner.

"Of course." Sydney smiled and shook her head.

"Just don't make her wear a bonnet." Vaughn laughed thinking about the dog in the movie who had looked after the Darling children as their nanny.

"It's Beethoven!" Marshall laughed thinking about the film with the enormous dog.

"How big is that thing going to get?" Jack couldn't fathom what it was going to be like in a just a year from now. "Don't they get up to like a hundred and fifty pounds?"

"It's not a thing, Daddy! It's a puppy!" Nadia giggled with her sister when the puppy started licking her and tipped her over into loud peels of laughter tickling her with its tongue so excited with all the kids.

"Actually," Weiss cleared his throat with a smile speaking in a rush gargled voice, "About two hundred and fifty."

"Two hundred and fifty pounds!" Jack sat forward rapidly in the chair and everyone laughed.

"Just think of Nana as another bodyguard." Weiss laughed and Jack shook his head.

He couldn't stop smiling though, seeing their little faces light up and the continuous giggles.

* * *

Irina walked past Lena's room on her way to her own bedroom after checking on Nicholas and Nadia one last time and heard peels of little giggles coming from behind the door. She paused for a moment with a smile on her face and realized what her sneaky little girl had brought to her room.

With a soft knock to the door, Irina was trying and failing miserably not to smile and laugh as she entered the dimly lit space and Lena lying perfectly flat in bed with the blankets pulled up to her chin and a little lump under the blankets moving about like a mole under the earth.

"What's going on in here?" Irina asked her with a soft smile seeing the little lump waving back and forth beneath the blankets.

"Nothing, Mama." Lena tried to answer with her own straight face and then broke into a peel of giggles and tried to stop with the puppy licking her legs.

"Nothing, huh?" Irina smiled realizing what the puppy was doing, "What's that under your blankets?" She pointed to the lump moving around.

"I don't know?" Lena widened her eyes and held her hands up in the air as if stumped and Irina tried hard to hold back the laughter.

"Well let's see." She pulled back the blankets exposing the puppy who was now licking Lena's toes and making her giggle. "Ah ha, Nana!"

"How did she get in here?" Lena held her hands up again trying for another pondering face and failing breaking into laughter with the puppy continuously licking her.

"I don't know? How did she?" Irina finally had to laugh at the little mischievous sneak in the bed and her all too cute look of innocence. She sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the puppy who started licking her and made puppy grunting noises when Irina cradled her like a baby… a big baby. The puppy's paws were as big as the palm of her hand. "I thought we talked about her staying in the kennel downstairs at night?" Irina smiled speaking to Lena softly.

"I know, Mama but she was sad. She was crying because she misses her Mama." Lena sat up with a sad look, "Can she stay with me, please?"

"You won't go to sleep, Sweetheart. She'll keep you awake wanting to play because she is just a baby and doesn't know its time to sleep." Irina looked at her sadly with a smile, hating to break her little heart when she was so loving and sad for the puppy, "After a while, Nana will get used to sleeping in her kennel and she won't cry anymore. Just like with the babies, right? Sometimes we have to let them cry until they fall asleep." She cupped Lena's tiny chin with her fingers tilting her face up to look her in the eyes, "You can get her out first thing in the morning, okay?"

"Okay, Mama." Lena nodded sadly.

"Okay. Now give her a hug goodnight and I'll take her back downstairs," Irina smiled when Lena not only hugged the puppy but kissed her too.

"Da Svidanya, Nana." She waved sadly while Irina held the puppy with one arm and tucked Lena back into bed.

"I love you, Snuggle Bug." Irina kissed her forehead and then lips, "Goodnight, My Love."

"I love you too, Mama." Lena smiled softly turning on her side and watching her mother shut the door.

"Oh no! You're not bringing that beast in here!" Jack was sitting up in bed reading and waiting for Irina when he saw her walk through the door with the puppy in her arms.

Irina couldn't help but laugh walking over and depositing the puppy on Jack's stomach causing him to 'hmmpf!'

"She's not staying. Lena snuck her upstairs and I'm going to take her back down in a minute but I want to change out of these clothes first." Irina smiled petting the dog's head in Jack's arms before getting up to remove her clothing.

"Practicing sneaking into her room already." Jack shook his head, "See what you're teaching her?" He held the puppy up under the arms to look at her face which was entirely too cute for his liking.

Irina laughed watching him, "You're looking at it all wrong, Jack… if the dog ends up in her room eventually… a 250 lb bodyguard sleeping with our daughter might be a very good thing in keeping the boys out."

"Hmm," Jack hummed in a thoughtful tone, looking at the little beast, "I guess that wouldn't be a bad thing. A giant bear like creature should do the right amount of intimidation." He smiled and set the puppy beside him, playing with her for a minute until she flopped upside down so he could scratch her baby soft skin belly and soon fell asleep in that position.

"Come on, Nana." Irina smiled picking up the puppy who remained asleep and cradled her like a baby taking her down stairs. She set her carefully into the blankets and locked eyes with the sad puppy eyes she was getting back when she shut the door, "I'm sorry." Irina apologized, "Don't look at me that way. I already get that look pulled on me enough." She smiled laughing softly thinking about the copious amounts of little faces looking at her all the time with puppy eyes and faces when they wanted something. The tiny little howling and barking just about did her in as she shut the light off and walked away, so tempted to turn around and bring her back into bed with them but forged on. Training babies to sleep was never easy.

It took her until March, nearly three months later, to realize that Lena was sneaking Nana upstairs with her every night. She would have never known if she hadn't come in very early one morning when it was still dark out to kiss her sleeping daughter 'goodbye' before she left on an early business trip that day to Moscow and found the puppy sleeping at the foot of Lena's bed. She shook her head with a smile and kissed Lena, patted the dog's head and left.

She'd talked to Lena about it when she got home that night and when she did, her heart broke and caved giving in to just letting her sleep with the dog after hearing Lena's tearful plea to keep her there. _"But she keeps the rat monsters away, Mama!"_

Neither Jack nor Irina had the heart to argue against that if this dog was all it took to keep their daughter feeling safe against the nightmares and flashbacks that sometimes plagued her dreams.

* * *

In April, Irina got a call that the school was sending her twins home sick and Irina was immediately on a plane home from Moscow to find them in her bed watching cartoons and breaking out in Chicken Pox. By the next day, Lena, Anya and Eva all stayed home as well with the itchy red bumps and by the third day, Jaxx, Mia, and Antony all had it as well.

With all their kids already home and sick, Antony wanted to be 'sick with the itchy bumps' with everyone else and ended up at their house in one giant Chicken Pox sleepover that had essentially kicked Jack out of his room for the week as eight little bodies took over his bed in their pajamas with mittens on to keep them from scratching.

He broke down in a moment of hilarity when he walked in on the fourth morning to find Irina lying in the middle of the bed with Chicken Pox infested children draped all over her and then noticed what Irina kept trying to deny, she had gotten the Chicken Pox… having never had them as a child growing up in Russia and didn't want to believe it. Somehow, spending so many hours with the Pox infested children had penetrated her amazing Immune defense by a long shot and colored her skin with the red dots.

Now every time any one of the adults entered the bedroom to bring juice and soups and check on their sick, they couldn't help but snicker seeing that Irina had joined them, in the mix with her own pajamas on, wearing mittens because she kept scratching.

She'd dotted all their Pox with Calamine lotion to stop the itch and now she too was covered in the stuff and when they were all sleeping in one giant nap, with the eight kids draped all over her in pajamas with the dog in the enormous Imperial bed, Katya managed to take a picture and somehow, it ended up on the front page of the papers with everyone 'awing' how entirely cute it was to see their Tsar covered in kids and Calamine sleeping with mittens on. Get well cards, anti-itch creams, mittens and pajamas started rolling in from everywhere almost immediately.

The way Weiss was humming happily when he brought her the paper with her tea the next morning left little doubt as to whom it was that gave the paper the picture. "Don't scratch, Your Majesty," He taunted her in a singsong voice seeing her rubbing her mitten-covered hand over a particular spot on her arm, "It will leave scars."

"Do I look like I'm somebody who cares about scars?" Irina shot him a death glare not at all happy he'd just ruined what was left of her _tough badass persona_ by publishing a colored photograph covering almost the entire front page of the paper with her in bed, covered in red dots swabbed with Calamine lotion wearing Cowboy print pajamas and white mittens, with eight little angels slept around her looking the same and a puppy thrown into completely obliterate what might have been salvaged.

"Oooh, are we in a grumpy mood today?" He asked talking to her like she was a child and Sydney laughed covering some new spots on Jaxx with the Calamine.

"You'd better be careful, Eric." Sydney laughed, "All you're doing is poking the sleeping bear. She's not going to be sick and in this bed forever you know?" Her eyes flashed over from him to her mother who was wearing a predatory grin.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll get me good but I have to take advantage of this situation while I can, and besides," He held up the paper and started talking in a baby voice, "Isn't she just so cute? Look at that little adorable sleepy face and those mittens… awe!"

Sydney broke out into deep hysterical laughter seeing the heated glare her mother shot him before cursing him with, "May you feel the wrath of a thousand bees!"

"Bees?" Weiss's face turned instantly ashen with the threat, "You wouldn't!" He gasped at her.

"We'll see how cute you look in Calamine!" Irina smiled with a devilish grin and Sydney was holding her sides from laughing so hard.

In May, on the Anniversary of the Coronation and Jaxx and Eva's fourth birthday, Irina announced to the world during a LIVE press conference sitting beside the medical research teams, that they had indeed found the cure for Hemophilia after successfully curing more then fifty patients including her son.

The doctors went on to describe how it was done with genetically manufactured genes originally taken from Irina and how the process was going to be done to start eradicating the disease completely from existence.

The study of Irina's genetics would be ongoing to possibly cure other blood derived diseases as well as continuing on in their very close pursuit of the cure for Leukemia by replicating her bone marrow, genetically altered to be universally transplanted into sick patients. Her next major push in research was for finding a cure to AIDS where people's Immune Systems failed leading them to die from such things as the common cold. She, Nicholas, Sergei and the research teams ended up on the cover or featured in more than two hundred publications worldwide with this phenomenal feat.

* * *

June brought the first of three strokes of bad luck once again to the family on the first Saturday after school had been let out.

Lena, Nadia, Anya, Mia, Eva, and Ria, ages: six, five, five, four, four and three, were playing Hide-n-Seek against the boys, Antony, Nicholas, Mitchell, Jaxx and little Gustav, ages: six, five, five, four, and two and a half, in the trees and grounds behind the palace while the majority of their parents were in Gyrady and only Sydney, Jack and Irina stayed behind. Sydney was outside keeping an eye on them lying in a lounge chair, sipping on lemonade and reading a magazine looking up every so often to see where their little bodies were seeking cover and smiling and laughing along with them when they'd find someone.

There was a perfect tree for climbing that Nadia had discovered over a year ago and they all loved to climb and play in and the girls all scampered up into its branches with the older ones helping the younger ones up. They all cupped their hands over their mouths not to give away their location seeing the boys looking for them some twelve feet below and giggling that they'd found the best spot. When the boys gave up not able to find them they stood not far from the base of the tree with their backs to the girls with Nana and Lena whispered down the line of little girls on the branch, "Let's jump down and scare them!"

This seemed like a great idea at the time, they'd all jumped out of the tree before but never this high up. Lena was the only one who'd ever jumped from the higher branches but even she had never jumped this far. One more branch up from where she'd last jumped didn't seem like such a big deal even though it was a good four feet from her last feat. She was their fearless leader; they'd follow her anywhere and so when she squealed, "Jump!" they all did, some a little slower then the others but all flew out of the tree and landed with a hard impact on the ground, instantly breaking into tears while the boys all ran screaming towards Sydney who had seen them come out of the tree in slow motion horror and then crumple when they hit the ground. She screamed back into the house for help and then went running.

Sydney didn't know which child to look at first as they were all screaming and lying on the ground crying and holding something.

"Oh God!" She gasped with tears in her eyes looking over them with sweeping eyes and saw arm, legs and wrists twisted in ways they shouldn't. Lena's mouth was bleeding and everyone was screaming.

"What happened?" Jack came flying up behind her with Irina beside him, both of their eyes wide to see all of their little girls lying on ground crying.

"They jumped!" Sydney cried and pointed up and Jack and Irina both had an instantaneous flashback of her doing the same thing.

The boys broke into instant tears scared and sad to see the girls crying and Nana started barking and Jack picked up Ria carefully first, seeing his granddaughter trying to get up and her little leg was not bent the right way. Being only three, she didn't quite understand she needed to stay still.

Irina and Sydney took them to the hospital while Jack stayed at home with the boys trying to console them and get their minds off what happened to the girls while they waited for everyone else to get back.

* * *

When Dmitri walked in the door first three hours later, the mass of parents and grandparents met him with anxious faces at the door having just arrived home themselves.

"Well, you aren't going to believe this," He smiled shaking his head and holding open the door for the troops coming in behind him.

Irina followed him first carrying Lena, who was eating an ice cream cone that was dribbling down her chin and her right leg was wrapped in hot pink cast from foot to knee as was her left arm from shoulder to hand.

"Broken Tibia, one fracture and broken Humorous, two fractures." Irina smiled softly listing the injuries and Anya came through the door behind Irina eating her own cone. Her right arm was wrapped in a hot pink cast from her shoulder to her hand, in a purple sling and as she passed, "Broken Humorous, one fracture." Irina smiled shaking her head in disbelief while the others' eyes all went wide and Eva came in the door with her own bright smile and melting cone with her left arm in a bright pink cast up to her elbow and in another purple sling, "Broken Radius, one fracture."

Mia and Nadia both came through the door at the same time; Mia's right arm covered in the same bright pink casting to her little elbow and held with another purple sling while her tongue made big swoops at her ice cream, "Broken Ulna, two fractures." She nodded with the same bewildered smile to Nadia whose left arm was wrapped to her shoulder with the same pink cast and held in a purple sling biting the top off her own mint green ice cream, "Broken Humorous, one fracture." Her eyes flashed up and turned more to let Sydney in the doorway carrying Ria.

"Broken Fibula, one fracture," Sydney smiled softly carrying her little niece with the same hot pink cast from her foot to her knee on the left leg and a face completely covered in chocolate ice cream.

"They all broke almost the opposite bones on opposite limbs and they all had to have the hot pink casting with purple slings." Irina smiled with the line up of girl standing before her and facing everyone who was gaping at the scene. "I know." She laughed, "You should have seen Alexei's face putting up all their x-rays."

"So the tradition continues… Mama jumped out of a tree and broke her arm at six, you jumped out of a tree and broke your arm at six," Katya smiled shaking her head at her sister, "Sydney jumped out of a tree at six breaking her leg, and now Lena jumps out of a tree at six and breaks her arm and leg! The rest of you little Romanov-Derevkos just got a head start!" She laughed softly moving down the line to kiss all their little messy faces.

"Dat's not all, Mama!" Lena turned her ice cream covered face to her mother and smiled, "You forgot something."

"What?" Jack asked with a sense of dread looking at the vast array of hot pink casts before him and then taking notice of Lena's lisp in her speech.

"My teef got knocked out!" She smiled to reveal that indeed her two front teeth had been knocked out. "Now da Toof Fairy is going to come!" She giggled.

"And you're having another girl?" Kendall clasped Julian's knee with a smile with a deep laugh looking over at Ash who was pregnant, "Good Luck."

* * *

The project for the men in those next couple of weeks, was building a tree house in that old climbing tree with a slide and a ladder and several other ways down while the project for the women was setting up lawn chairs with drinks in hand and laughing at them. It was a good way to pass the time trying to watch build the thing.

"Should we tell them now, or let them figure it out that they are putting that up backwards?" Katya whispered to Irina watching as the men began to attach the climbing wall.

"I think we should at least give them two hours to figure out for themselves before we take pity on them and tell them." Irina snickered passing Judy the pitcher of vodka lemonade, "Personally, I enjoy watching them start arguing over whose fault it was that it went up backwards when they are all to blame."

"Men." Judy laughed pouring a sizeable glass and looking over the rims of her glasses, "I can't tell you how much I enjoy retirement. I get to sit down and drink, laugh, and watch good-looking, sweaty men building children's play houses. My life is good right now." She laughed with the rest of the women and all the men's heads turned to look at them across the lawn.

"Whenever they laugh, we're doing something wrong. Maybe we should recheck what it is we're doing here?" Kendall looked over at Jack wiping his brow.

"Oh come on, Kendall! Where's your sense of building on the fly and figuring it out later?" Weiss laughed from above where he was pounding nails.

"That's the kind of senseless dumb male pride that is exactly what they're laughing about!" Kendall shot back, "They take pride in watching us making assclowns out of ourselves!"

"That's because they're the superior of the species," Marcelo laughed from where he was balanced over a branch waving at Katya and blowing her a kiss.

"Oh brother… you Italians!" Kendall sighed and rolled his eyes causing the men to laugh this time.

* * *

**_*Forever Young*_**

_June 16th, 2009_

Irina was sitting on the bench in the garden watching Lena running around picking various flowers just after sunrise; both of them early risers and up before everyone else and they enjoyed their quiet time together in the morning. She laughed with tears in her eyes hearing Lena's giggling as Nana kept weaving in front of her and she tried to put flowers on the dogs collar. Lena's leg had healed but her arm and the two fractures there took a bit longer.

"Hey," Sydney smiled kissing her mother's cheek and coming up beside her to sit on the bench, "I figured you two would be out here. Hey… what's wrong?" She asked suddenly noticing the tears in her mother's eyes.

Irina smiled and closed her eyes looking down at her hands and then back up at Lena, the tears now rolling down her cheeks.

"I never made it this far with you." She spoke softly and saw Sydney's eyebrows knit in confusion.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Sydney asked running her hand down her mother's back and hair.

"I was extracted when you were six years and seven months old exactly. Today, Lena is six years, seven months and one day old. I never made it this far with you, Sydney." Irina gasped with her body shaking from trying to hold in her sobs as she turned to look at Sydney. "Looking at Lena now… I just can't help thinking about, just how little you were. My baby… and how much I missed… and how much you missed, too little to loose your Mommy."

"Mom," Sydney whispered with her own tears flooding down her face having no idea and then realizing the enormity of it; her eyes flashing back to her sister and thinking about herself…for the first time 'seeing' for herself… just how little she was when her mother was taken away.

"I'm sorry, Sydney." Irina reached up and touched her daughter's tear stained face. "I would give anything to get that time back with you."

"I know." Sydney cried with a smile, "But I have you now… and Lena does, too. If things had been different, we wouldn't be here today… _she_," Her eyes flashed back to her laughing sister so beautiful and smiling running around amongst the flowers in the early morning light, "wouldn't be here today and I wouldn't give anything to change it, Mom. She's your second chance at being the mother we all know you are," She smiled cupping her mother's face and thumbing her tears while Irina held tightly to her other hand with both of hers, "But she's my second chance, too, Mom. She's been my chance to see what you were like with me… and from today forward… what you would have been like… if we'd been together. She's the balm to both our hearts aching for what should have been… a link between past and present." She cried through her smile and then laughed softly when Irina reached up to wipe her tears, "I'm just excited about this day as you are… for you, for me and for Lena and Nadia and Nicholas."

"I love you," Irina sighed with a big smile, "Why is it that you always know just what to say?"

"Because my heart comes from yours." Sydney smiled remembering what her mother always said, "They seem to know exactly what the other needs to hear." She sniffled, "Just like I know now…that even while we were separated, they still spoke to each other going back and forth between 'I miss you' and 'I miss you too' and 'I love you' and 'I love you too.' We both said it, and we both felt… it's why I could carry your love with me for so many years without you... you were still with me in here." She touched her own heart with a smile.

"And why your heart speaking with mine kept me going too. You were still with me in here. You're forever going to be my baby." Irina smiled with her own quiet sob, touching her chest and then wrapped Sydney into her arms, holding her tightly and rocking softly for a long time before they became aware Lena with Nana was standing before them with a soft smile.

"Will you help me pick flowers to put on the table for breakfast?" Lena asked sweetly to both of them, "I only have one hand to pick with and it's really hard!" She giggled lifting her arm in the heavy pink cast.

"Of course." Irina smiled standing and holding Sydney's hand and then taking Lena's that was not broken, walking down the path into the garden.

The three laughed and smiled gathering flowers and watching Lena with the puppy for quite some time before Sydney was able to snag her sister away from their mother on the other side.

"We need to pick two flowers for, Mama, one from you and one from me." Sydney smiled kneeling down and choosing a purple one speaking in a whisper.

"Why?" Lena asked whispering with a giggle realizing this was a secret.

"Because today is a very special day for, Mama." Sydney smiled twirling the little flower between her fingers and looking over at her mother looking so gorgeous amongst the flowers with the breeze blowing softly through her hair and the soft light of day illuminating her smile.

"How is it special?" Lena asked pointing to a pink flower she wanted to give their mother so Sydney could pick it.

"Because today, you are six years seven months and one day old," She smiled at her sister, handing her the flower with a smile and kissing her cheek, still whispering, "It's like a very special birthday for Mama because today… is the true first day she's getting a second chance at being a Mama. I was only six years and seven months old… one day younger than you are right now when Mama was taken away from me. She didn't get to see me grow up… but she gets to see you." Sydney tapped her on the nose with a smile, "She gets to be your Mama and that makes Mama very happy. Me too." She kissed Lena.

"Me too!" Lena smiled looking at their mother, "She's a good Mama."

"Yes, she is." Sydney smiled feeling tears in her eyes. "Let's go tell her _Happy Six Year Seven Month and One Day Birthday_." She stood taking Lena's hand, "Can you remember that?"

"Yes, Nee-Nee… I can remember." Lena smiled.

"Good. Why don't you go tell her first?" Sydney smiled down at her and then watched her sister run towards their mother.

"Happy Six Year Seven Month and One Day Birthday, Mama!" Lena shouted with a smile holding up her flower to Irina and catching her by surprise.

Irina gasped with tears instantly flooding her eyes and then eyes flashed to Sydney walking slowly towards them with her own teary smile.

"Thank you, Sweetheart." She cried through her smile, picking Lena up and holding her close. Sydney handed her the tiny purple flower with her own smile and Irina pulled her into the hug, "Thank you both… I love you so much."

* * *

Just after Jack and Ria's birthdays in July, the men went out for a _Boy's Day Out_ taking themselves and all the tiny 'men' to a Dodger's baseball game while the girls had their own secret day planned.

On the way home from the early afternoon game they encountered heavy traffic on their Exit ramp on the freeway and all the way up the street into their neighborhood. Cars were lined up everywhere and it was beginning to frustrate the men who were hungry and trying to get home.

"You, get out of the car and go up there and see what's going on? If there's a block party or an accident or whatever I don't care, just go find out and come back and tell us!" Jack pushed on Weiss in the car where they were stuck in traffic on their own street still two blocks from their house.

"Why do I have to go?" Weiss clamored as he got out of the car.

"Just go!" Jack waved him out with a smirk and everyone laughing watching him walk away grumbling.

He came back ten minutes later with a goofy daze on his face, "Get out. You've got to see this."

"See what?" Jack asked grumbling and getting out of the car, taking his son out of the back and setting him on the ground.

"Just don't ask questions and walk!" Weiss ordered with a smile, "And get your cameras out!"

"What's going on?" Vaughn slid up next to his friend with a smile, "You have that look on your face like you're up to something but I know you can't be as you've been with us today."

"You'll see." Weiss smiled as he walked along, leading his son with his tiny hand around his finger.

As they walked along they saw poster board signs up with balloons for a car wash on the trees.

"$100 for a car wash! Good Lord!" Kendall looked at the sign to see if he was reading it wrong, "Who in their right mind would pay $100 for a car wash?"

"All these people." Weiss smiled waving to the crowded street.

"Why? What's so special about it?" Kendall's gaze went to the cars and noticed they were mostly males.

Weiss's only response was to smile as they walked up the street a few more houses and then saw what had stopped traffic and had people paying $100 for a car wash.

**_*Stacy's Mom*_**

Right in front of the Bristow house the women and Daisy Troop 247 had set up a car wash to raise money for the March of Dimes. The men stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of not only Irina, in cut offs and soaked bikini top flipping her wet hair over her shoulder as she scrubbed someone's hood with a smile, but Sydney, and Sophia, and Ash, and Carrie, and Katya, and Vicki, and Judy, and Ann, and Bella, and Karen, and Hayden and several other women, mostly Moms of the other Daisy Girl Scouts in the Troop that Lena, Nadia, Anya, Eva, Mia and Ria all belonged to.

The little girls who had just gotten their casts off the week before were now running around splashing water on each other having not been able to be in the water for the past agonizing six weeks of summer and were now having fun drenching their mothers as well as some getting into the car wash.

"Talk about your Imperial car wash!" Weiss laughed and waved at his wife who looked incredibly sexy all wet and covered in bubbles washing the windshield of some lucky soul's car.

Lena picked up the hose and drenched Irina with her little hand clutched tightly around the gun handle spraying her mother with evil giggles and Jack couldn't stop the smile watching Irina start chasing after her and his mind flashed back to another time and another daughter doing the same. His eyes flashed over to see that Anya was now doing the same to Sydney in an apparent planned dual attack on their mothers by Lena and Anya and had the other little girls cheering with mother's clapping.

"What are you doing in line?" Kendall asked a convertible carload full of teenage boys. Their car was already impeccably clean.

"Are you kidding dude?" The kid in the passenger seat laughed, "Hot royal Russian chicks all wet and mostly naked washing cars for charity! This is our fifth time through!" He burst out laughing with camera in hand.

"They're old enough to be your mothers!" Kendall scolded the punks who wouldn't stop laughing and snapping pictures. "You're spending $500 on this?"

"Who cares! They're hot man! Nothing sexier then wet MILFs!" The kid driving yelled and the car went into hysteria.

"Excuse me?" Kendall asked wondering if he heard the kid right.

"You know MILFs… Mothers I'd Like to Fu-"

"Don't say it!" Jack immediately cut the kid off with a finger so fast in his face you'd think it was a gun. His ears were burning bright red in a combination of emotions as he looked between the punks in the car to his wife and daughter and the other women in the family. "They are their," He motioned to the little boys with them, "Mothers and you will give them respect."

"Yo, Emperor Dude," The kid with Jack's finger in his face held his hands up in surrender, "We're giving 'em major respect, man! It's a compliment trust me that I say your wife and daughter are mothers that are highly fuck-"

"Don't. Say it!" Jack's finger touched the end of the kids nose. "And I don't know where you learned about respect but that's not it and I don't want you to say that again! How would you like it if someone was disrespecting your mother that way?"

"Dude calma!" The kid in the back laughed at Jack, "I'd be damn proud if my Mom was a MILF. Hey little buddy," He reach over the back of the car to ruffle Nicholas's head, "You're going to be pretty popular in high school with your Mom as a MILF. Everybody's going to want to come to your house."

The kid in the front driver seat cranked the stereo in the car and they all began to sing along with the words of the song they'd had on repeat antagonizing Jack.

"Stacy's Mom has got it going on! She's all I want and I've waited so long! Stacy can't you see you're just not good for me! I know it may be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's Mom! Stacy's Mom has got it going on! Stacy's Mom has got it going on!"

"Let it go, Jack." Dixon laughed clasping the back of Jack's shoulder, "Leave them to their adolescent fantasies. Every boy has had their own Mrs. Robinson, right?" He looked over at Ryan and winked and everybody else laughed while the man seemed to shrink before their eyes, with his own flashing to Irina and then quickly away. "She just remains the Mrs. Robinson for a whole new generation!"

_***My Sharona***_

"Are you having fun, My Sharona?" Jack laughed walking up behind Irina who was rinsing the soap off a car preparing for it to move onto the next group of women and girls to dry.

Irina kissed his lips earning a massive roar of applause and cheers from the cars filling the street, "Yes." She smiled and evil gleam took over her in her eyes as she waggled her eyebrows and stepped back turning the hose on him and everyone went into hysteria to see her drenching him and Jack trying to block the spray of water trying to get to her and steal the hose. He was finally able to grab her around the waise, holding both of her arms down and pinned to her body with one arm and lifted her off her feet wheeling her around laughing but Irina kept spraying everyone else in front of her.

"Get him, Mama!" Nadia giggled seeing her parents playing and laughing and then charging forth with her brother and sister, taking sides and trying to help but getting sprayed by Irina and making them all run around screaming with laughter.

"My God…" The man walked up beside the rest of the men on the sidewalk watching Jack and Irina laughing and smiling with their kids. "I can't believe it."

"Marcott?" Ben took a double take of the man and turned to him.

"Sure is, how you doing, Ben?" Marcott extended his hand with a soft smile.

"Good. My God how many years has it been?" Ben was flabbergasted to see him again. "Last I heard you moved to China taking another job for some security firm."

"Yeah, I just moved back to Los Angeles to be closer to my grandkids this summer." His eyes flashed back to Jack holding Irina with her back against his chest as they played spray tag with their children. "I saw this on the news and had to take a double take… I couldn't believe what I was seeing… her… on the news washing a car in front of this house." He shook his head, "I had to come see for myself… and apologize to Jack… I haven't gotten to do that yet… I suppose I owe her an apology too."

The man looked a bit shameful and then smiled seeing the kids pulling on the hose in a team effort with Sydney's help and getting it way from their parents, turning it on both of them.

"Apologize for what?" Ben asked with a curious brow.

"For the horrible things I used to say to him about her… trying to get Jack to get over her…tell him that she was never real… their love and their marriage was all a lie… even when part of me knew it wasn't the truth." He shook his head, "Who the hell was I to tell him what was real and what wasn't? He knew better then us all and all we did was make it that much harder on him…" He sighed looking at Irina, "All these years later of finding out she's alive and I'm still having a hard time comprehending it seeing her in the flesh."

Marcott smiled widely watching as the kids hog piled on top of the two now that they were taken down in the grass with Sydney holding the hose on them while her younger siblings dumped the soap buckets on them. "They seem pretty happy… then again they always did."

"Yeah," Ben smiled with a softly nodding and clasped the man's shoulder, "Don't be too hard on yourself. We all tried to convince him it wasn't real. We were all wrong. Jack's a pretty forgiving guy and I'm betting he's going to be pretty happy to see you again."

* * *

_St. Petersburg – October 2009_

Irina was making dinner in the kitchen with Katya and Bella while everyone had settled in to watch a movie until it was ready and they were discussing which bottle of wine to cook with and which to drink while cooking when a strange feeling clenched through Irina's heart and she instantly held her hand to her chest stopping mid-sentence.

"Rina… what's wrong, are you okay?" Katya was immediately off her stool and at her sister's side seeing the look on her face and the way she was holding her hand to her chest. "Is it your heart?"

Irina didn't answer right away waiting for the feeling to pass but it didn't… it turned into an ache in the pit of her stomach, "I'm okay… but something's not right."

"What do you mean, Dear?" Bella asked with concerned eyes standing in front of her.

"Just a feeling… something happened something's not right… where are the kids?" Irina stepped forward with eyes scanning the security monitors to see the theatre… everything seemed calm.

"Rina… what is it? You think something happened with the children? But they're all okay… see!" Katya pointed to the monitor with concern still on her face.

"Julian." Irina gasped in a whisper wiping her hands on a towel and grabbing the phone to call the one child and his family who weren't there but in Ireland staying at the estate there for a couple of weeks while Julian took care of business in the that region. She called his number and he answered on the third ring, "Julian, are you okay?"

"Mama? Yes… why what's wrong?" He asked into the phone with concern.

"I just had a feeling that something was wrong and I wanted to check in with you. How are Ash and the children?" She asked with a bit of relief though the feeling that something was wrong refused to dissipate.

"They're fine. Ash took Ria to the park earlier and they were going to stop for lunch on their way home. It's a Mummy and Me day for girls and Daddy and Me for Alexei and I."

She could hear him smile on the other end of the phone.

"He's really learning a lot of new words, Mama. You won't believe it when you see him."

"I can't wait. Please give them all a hug and kiss for me and one for you too, please. I love you, Julian… be safe." She said her goodbye with a slanted eyebrow as Katya and Bella looked on, relieved to hear they were fine as well.

"I love too, Mama. Kisses for everyone...oh and tell Nadia for me please, that I couldn't find a Leprechaun," He laughed thinking about his little sister's request to bring one home to Russia when he returned, "Da svidanya." He smiled and hung up the phone.

"Julian sends his love. He's fine I guess I'm just paranoid. Must be the first bottle of wine." She smiled to their empty glasses, "So now that I know all the children are safe and I'm just a paranoid mother at times," Irina smiled widely and picked up the second bottle of wine, "Which bottle shall we finish the dish with and which shall we toast with to our dinner success?"

* * *

"Mmm… this is delicious." Nicholas smiled swirling his fork in his pasta at the table after they'd all just sat down and began eating. His descriptions were always hilarious and brought them smiles watching him smile as he ate.

"I'd have to agree, Cowboy. This is very delicious. Thank you." Vaughn smiled down and across the table to the three cooks of the evening.

They all smiled accepting the praise and Irina remembered she had a message to deliver sipping on her wine, "Nadia," She smiled putting her glass down, "Julian told me to tell you that he hasn't found your Leprechaun yet."

A small round of chuckling went round the table when Nadia's shoulders slumped and she clicked her tongue in disappointment before saying, "Guess he'll have to keep looking."

Irina's phone started to ring on the table beside her; the unsettling feeling she was having told her to keep the phone close and she answered it immediately. Her face immediately scrunched into worry and all chatter at the table ceased watching her rapidly stand.

"Julian, slow down…what happened?" She asked with tears already in her eyes knowing something awful had. She listened to him explain through sobbing tears in another rush on his end and the tears were pouring from her eyes listening and she gasped. "We'll be there as soon as we can. We're leaving right now. I love you…" She spoke in her own rush pushing her chair back and ending the call looking at all the expectant faces some in tears without even knowing what was going on, just listening to her and seeing her reaction.

"What happened?" Jack stood immediately as did several others ready to leave with panic and on alert.


	47. Chapter 47

_**AN: A double chapter as the ominous Chapter 47, and given Rambaldi's obsession with number, remember that everything in this story has a reason, and it will all make sense in the end. Hold on tight as this chapter is the one where we start doing massive time jumps moving forward in this up and down roller-coaster of life and emotion.**_

**On another note, given that Vaughn's mother in this fic, "Bella" is 'played by' the beautiful French Actress/Singer **_******Catherine Deneuve********,**_****** I highly recommend watching the video on Youtube of her singing this famous song, Toi Jamais. I think she's the perfect mother for Vaughn, as one of the 'beautiful people' inside and out in this story.**

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Safe Passage **_**by Hans Zimmer from The Last Samurai Soundtrack**_**, Hold the Ice **_**by Hans Zimmer from King Arthur Soundtrack**_**, O Holy Night by John Williams from the Home Alone Soundtrack, Toi Jamais **_**by Catherine Deneuve, __****Fibre De Verre**** by Paris Combo**, _Via Con Me_ by Paulo Conte, _Let's Get Lost_ by Beck and Bat For Lashes, _Lara's Theme by_ Mantovani, _The Cossack's Song_ by The Red Army Choir, _Numb_ by Linkin Park, _Dirty Little Secret _by Sarah McLachlan.

* * *

FORTY-SEVEN

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"Ash and Ria were on their way home when they were hit by a truck who slid through an intersection." Irina answered trying to stay somewhat calm seeing the scared little faces of the children looking up at her.

"Oh God…" Sydney gasped.

"He hit on the drivers side… Ash is in bad shape-" Irina ended in a whisper.

"The baby!" Sophia gagged on her sob knowing that Ash had two months to go to deliver and was quite pregnant. "And what about Ria?" She asked of the other precious little girl in the car with Ash.

"She was in her car seat and they think she's okay …maybe a concussion they're not sure we have to go now!" Irina rushed out quickly realizing they were just standing there in horror and immediately started helping the children down as everyone went into high-gear.

They jumped on the plane and Bella and Mikhail watched all the children at the castle residence on Irina's estate where Julian and Ash had been staying while everyone else was waiting at the hospital. It was late by the time they got there and the kids went to bed, most of them having fallen asleep on the plane.

"They had to take the baby… they're working on her now." Julian cried the moment he saw Irina come through the door first at the Operating waiting room. "I haven't been able to see her...she's too early, Mama." He cried curling into Irina's arms where she held him tightly, "Ria has a concussion and a few lacerations but otherwise unharmed… I keep going back and forth between her room and here… they have her sedated because she was hysterical in shock… and Ash is still in surgery… she's been in there a long time… since before you even left Russia."

"What are the injuries? Do you know?" Irina asked sitting down with him and holding his face in her hands trying to be strong with silent tears streaming down her cheeks looking into his bloodshot eyes.

"Several broken bones… collapsed lung from broken ribs, ruptured spleen, lacerated kidney and she was hemorrhaging massively from Placenta Abruption…" He cried thinking about how he'd almost lost her, his mother, from the same thing not too many years ago, "The impact from the truck tore away the placenta… its why they had to take the baby."

"Oh Sweetheart," Irina wrapped him in her arms again, holding him tightly and crying with him while everyone looked on helplessly with blinding tears.

"We'll go sit with Ria." Sophia spoke softly giving him a teary smile trying to offer any support she could and seeing how torn he was in three different directions.

"And we'll go check on the baby." Katya brushed her hand against his cheek with the same teary smile, "Marcelo should be able to get some answers."

"Thank you." He nodded at them with a smile.

Irina and Jack sat on either side of him while Sydney and Vaughn sat across.

"I think this must be my punishment… my karma coming full due." Julian spoke after another twenty minutes of silence, waiting. His elbows were on his knees, his fingers rubbing at his temples while he spoke to the floor. "I took lives of good people… people other people loved…and now-"

"Julian, no!" Irina cried, leaning her head into his and reaching through his arms to cup his other cheek, "Sometimes things just happen… and we don't know why at the time… but something else happens and we can look back and see why…" She sniffled, "And then other times, there just is no reason. Don't give up now." She pleaded in a whisper.

"I'm not giving up but I can't stand the thought of losing her." He gasped trying to hold back more tears and failed with tears dripping onto the floor, "Why did this have to happen?"

Jack was crying running his hand over the back of Julian's head looking at his son and unable to stop his heart from breaking seeing Julian going through what he had with Irina and the twins. The terrifying prospect of losing your wife and your children and you're powerless to do anything to help.

"Julian," Katya called out softly with a smile getting his attention and he looked up immediately, "She's doing better now… the baby. So tiny and so perfect but so beautiful."

"She's okay? Oh Thank God." He cried with a smile of relief to hear his youngest was doing better. "Can I see her?"

"Yes, that's why I came to get you. Marcelo is staying with her. She's got a lot of hair." She smiled with a small laugh through her tears.

"Ash decided on a name this morning." Julian stood and held back a sob thinking how quickly everything changes, "She said she always loved the name Isolde from the story of Tristan and Isolde… and being in Ireland she decided that we should honor my Irish heritage… she was really excited." He gave a pained smile that turned to instant tears and Jack instantly pulled him in against his chest, holding him and letting him cry while his own tears fell. He couldn't understand why his family had to endure so much heartache… this wasn't supposed to happen anymore… it was supposed to be behind them.

Ash managed to pull through after a grueling ten-hour surgery to repair all the damage and like Irina, they managed to save her uterus though she would never again be able to carry a child; the damage done was too severe. In the end her pelvis, leg, arm and ribs on the side next to the car door had all been broken from the impact. They managed to save her spleen but she lost her kidney.

When she came to the following day Ash immediately went into high panic mode noticing her belly was gone and the baby and crying in hysteria about that and Ria knowing she was in the car too. They were finally able to calm her down and tell her that both girls were okay and since she absolutely couldn't move, Julian brought a picture of their newest baby girl to her mother and cried with her that she was still alive, that they all were, and that the baby was too tiny to bring to Ash and Ash was too injured to be brought to the baby.

Irina knew how excruciating this had to be as a mother and used her pull to put a LIVE video camera above her granddaughter's isolate feeding into Ash's room with a monitor by her bed so she could watch her all the time and in turn, a tiny two way mic and speaker system was installed in the incubator and on a hand held device in Ash's bed that allowed her to talk to her baby and let her hear her voice as well as give Ash the chance to hear her little squeaks and cries. For the almost two agonizingly long months that Ash and the baby were both in the hospital, it helped to ease the separation.

* * *

For the first time since Lena was born the family didn't return to the States for her birthday or Thanksgiving because Ash and Isolde were both being released from the hospital but in no condition to travel that far.

They came back to the palace that was set up to allow them to care for Ash who was still recovering from the lacerated spleen, ruptured lung, broken pelvis and her leg was in a full cast from toes to hip as well as her arm from fingers to shoulder. She couldn't care less though as she was finally going home and with her baby whom she'd just recently gotten to hold for the first time.

Ria was terribly excited that her Mama was home and couldn't wait everyday to rush home and tell her about school and see her new sister. Alexei really had a hard time without his Mama while she was in the hospital just as Lena had with Irina at a similar age, not understanding why he couldn't see her all the time and ended up spending a good deal of time with Babushka Irina who managed to keep him somewhat calm.

Ash had been home three days when Irina's birthday rolled around on December 15th and everyone was excited to celebrate her birthday as well as their homecoming.

The kids were all outside sledding and they'd set Ash's bed up in the throne room with all the glass windows for the day so she could watch them play having missed them so much.

Isolde was asleep on her chest, the tiny baby barely four pounds now and Ash couldn't help but laugh watching Nana pulling the kids around on sleds like a mush dog; Vaughn had helped Lena attach a rope to Nana's body leash harness and the animal was now happily pulling the children around in the snow causing fits of laughter.

This had been their favorite past time after school for the last week. Lena's little arms or Antony's as the two oldest and strongest would hold tightly to the rope leash and away they'd go, learning to let go of the rope if Nana got going too fast but for the most part, the dog listened to everything Lena said.

"Oh I wish I was out there with them." Ash sighed with a smile when Irina brought her some tea having been working in the kitchen on dinner for the annual tree decorating party on her birthday.

"They are having so much fun aren't they?" Irina smiled watching them playing in the snow, now trying to throw balls into the hockey net beside the pond in a new game as Nana would pull them by, "I'm just happy it's warmed up some or I'd be worried with how long they were spending in the cold. How are you feeling?" She asked softly feathering her hands lightly over the tiny baby's head and then dropping a sweet kiss there.

"Much better now that I'm home. I know Julian is too. He's been so stressed out… I can't thank you enough for all that you've done and looking after the children." She squeezed Irina's hand gently with her cast-covered fingers.

"You don't have to thank me," Irina smiled kissing her cheek, "I will always do anything that I can for my children. If you need anything else let me know." She touched her cheek with a smile and then the baby's one more time before leaving.

_***Hold the Ice***_

The red ball that Nadia had been throwing into the net missed and rolled onto the pond they'd played hockey on and now freshly covered with new snow. Lena let go of the rope and jumped out of the sled heading towards the ball.

"I'll get it for you." She smiled happily to help her little sister and ran out onto the ice where the ball had rolled some forty feet out. Nana was standing on the edge barking at her furiously and Lena turned her head back to see what the dog was barking at.

"Nana what's wrong?" She asked with the red ball in hand and started walking back towards the edge where everyone else was waiting. The ice began to crack loudly beneath her and Lena froze having never heard the sound before and Nana's barking only increased into a frenzy.

Ash's face turned from where she was nursing the baby and watching her daughter fall asleep to where she heard the faint wild barking of Nana and gasped in horror to see Lena standing in the middle of the frozen pond one second and then fall through in the next and disappear.

_"Irina!"_ Ash screamed at the top of her lungs, scaring her baby that started screaming and crying as she continued to scream feeling helpless and trapped in the bed. _"Irina!"_

Everyone came running at the same time from the kitchen fearing something had happened to Ash or the baby.

"She fell through the ice!" Ash cried with blinding tears and nodded towards where Nana was now running out onto the ice towards a large black hole, "Lena fell through the ice!" She screamed in the next second and they gasped in horror with her, Irina being the first to fly out of the room with heart pounding and out the nearest door towards the pond.

"Oh God no!" Irina cried running full speed through the snow with Jack, Julian, Sydney and Vaughn hot on her heels and the others not far behind.

The rest of the children were crying and screaming at the banks of the pond pointing madly to where Lena had disappeared under the ice and now Nana, the dog going in after her and causing more ice to break in under her enormously heavy weight.

Nicholas, Jaxx and Antony walked out onto the ice about four feet attempting to get to Lena sobbing in tears but determined and scared when Irina started screaming for them to get back.

Her eyes were scanning the pond as she ran towards the ice and could see nothing but ripples and gasped as soon as Nana's head popped up and in her mouth, she'd grabbed Lena by the snowsuit just above her shoulder; Lena was coughing and gasping shaking from the freezing water while Nana dog paddled with her enormous paws clawing at the ice trying to grab hold and jump out but the thin ice kept breaking under the weight and force of them and slowly she was making a channel through the already cracked ice with her attempts back towards the shore.

_***Safe Passage***_

Julian and Irina were the first to reach the edge and Nana and Lena were only twenty feet out now with the exhausted dog still coming and going under every now and then with Lena but still fighting. Neither of them wasted any time and flying across the ice as fast as they could feeling it breaking underneath them and plunged in next to where Lena and the dog had just gone under again.

Everybody was screaming at the chaos, at the foursome that disappeared temporarily and came back up with Lena still clutched tightly in Nana's jaws, the dog refusing to give her up and Irina and Julian both treading water in the ice trying to hold them both up. The dog was heavy at a waterlogged 245 lbs and completely exhausted though she kept fighting to swim.

"Start breaking the ice!" Irina shouted over to Julian as they both struggled in the freezing water to keep the other two afloat and themselves while using the fists of their other hands to pound through the shallow ice only two inches thick and weak from the rise in temperature. Jack, Sydney, Vaughn and Weiss were pounding furiously on the ice four feet out from the banks, where the ice was no longer solid hitting the sudden and drastic deep water away from the shallow banks and trying to break a path and meet them half way without falling through and causing more problems.

Katya and Sophia had run back to the house under Marcelo's orders to grab blankets and towels.

"Come on, Nana!" Irina called out loudly to the tired dog to keep swimming feeling her weight getting heavier and heavier in the water as the cold water and struggle wore on her. "Come on, Nana! Good girl!" She gripped the dog's body harness trying to hold her and pounding furiously with her hand that was now gushing blood from being cut against the ice.

The kids through their tears heard her encouraging Nana and started doing the same seeing that the dog was indeed bringing Lena in. Ash was sobbing watching it all transpire through the window and unable to do anything.

"Come on Girl! Come on!" Jack called out to the dog stretching as far as he could across the ice towards them. Nana gave a surged effort with both Irina and Julian grabbing at her harness and lifting with all their might they were able to get her and Lena up enough to where Jack and Weiss could grab at them.

"Got her!" Jack ground out with clenched teeth and pulled with Weiss to bring the dog and Lena up onto the frozen ice and Nana walked on shaking legs dragging Lena for two steps before collapsing. Sydney and Vaughn grabbed at Irina and Julian pulling them up behind the other two and both had bleeding fists and were shivering something fierce.

Lena was awake but in shock and teeth chattering, completely drenched but Nana held onto her snowsuit refusing to let go. They pulled them off the ice and onto the snow with Katya and Sophia immediately there with blankets and started to strip Irina and Julian with Sydney and Vaughn's help as the two were shaking too badly to function at all and needing to get out of the clothes already turning hard and freezing in cold air.

"Come on, Nana, release!" Jack tried to pry her jaws off of Lena's snowsuit but couldn't and didn't want to break her jaw.

"She won't… let her go… Jack…cut it." Irina chattered with clenched jaw her own muscles locking up.

He pulled out his pocketknife and the kids started crying thinking he was going to kill Nana but calmed with Judy holding them tightly in a giant group and telling them it was okay he wasn't hurting the dog he was just cutting Lena free and he did, with his little knife sawing through the freezing fabric as the zipper was completely frozen and pulling Lena out of her snowsuit handing her to Marcelo who stripped off the rest of her clothes while Jack ripped his own shirt off and then took Lena against his chest for body heat. Marcelo and Weiss wrapped them both tightly with blankets to lock in the warmth. Jack's mind kept flashing back to him doing the same when she was just a tiny baby and he saw the flash in Weiss's eyes that he was thinking the same.

"We need the knife!" Sydney yelled unable to get her mother's shirt off with Irina's muscles locked so tightly they couldn't get her arms up. Kendall grabbed the knife from where it had been left by Nana on the ground and immediately began slicing Irina's clothes off seeing her pale skin and lips already blue.

"Jack go." Came out in clenched garble from Irina's mouth as she tried to get him to leave and take Lena, not wait for them; their eyes locked and Jack felt torn but did as she said and started walking rapidly towards the house with Marcelo, Sophia and Judy and the rest of the children who had seen enough.

Sydney tore her own shirt off and bear hugged her mother skin on skin pulling her upright with Kendall's help so he could cut her pants off. Irina buried her face into Sydney's neck shaking uncontrollably and Katya looked at her niece and sister and ripped her own shirt off pressing her chest into Irina's back and sandwiching her between herself and Sydney as Kendall cut away the last of her clothes.

Vaughn and Weiss were doing the same with Julian just behind them with Vaughn pressed naked chest to naked chest with Julian while Weiss pulled his already frozen pants off.

"Well this brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love." Vaughn smiled against where their cheeks were pressed together as every bit of contact kept Julian's skin from freezing and blood moving. He was trying to get him to laugh and Julian did respond with a weak strangled chuckle deep in his body.

Sergei and Madeleine had just arrived home from the airport for the party and saw the commotion by the pond and Sergei came running while he sent Madeleine and the kids inside hearing the whir of the helicopter blades starting up.

"You're going to have to carry her in." Sydney's eyes flashed to Kendall's knowing she couldn't carry her mother and knowing her mother couldn't walk with muscles so locked.

Kendall's eyes flashed over Irina once before ripping his own shirt off in the Russian cold to liter the ground with the rest and rolled Irina into his chest, naked chest to naked chest, and scooped up the rest of her while Sydney and Katya started wrapping blankets around them.

"Well, this is certainly never a position I thought I'd be in with you, Irina." He smiled shivering under her freezing body, "First I'm in bed with you in Vegas and now you're naked in my arms under the blankets. Don't tell, Jack." He laughed softly and heard the faint chuckle though her face was buried into his neck and he was leaning his cheek against hers.

"Okay, you're ready go!" Katya finished the last blanket tie just as Sergei made it to their side.

"So somebody fell through ice obviously but how I can help?" He asked looking at Irina then Julian and then Nana lying on her side with slow breathing and Lena's red snow suit still in her mouth.

"Help. Her." Irina tried very hard to speak wanting the dog to be saved who had saved Lena. "Help. Her." She said again.

"What is she saying?" Sydney asked Kendall the closest to her while she wrapped a blanket around her aunt and then herself.

"Sounds like _'help her._" Kendall answered and eyes shot back to Nana. "The dog, she wants you to help the dog."

"Go! We'll help her." Sydney's eyes flashed back to Nana wanting to save the dog as much as her mother.

Sergei took off with Vaughn carrying Julian with Weiss's help towards the palace while Katya and Sydney knelt, removing the blanket and then eyes flashing to Sergei knowing she couldn't carry the massive dog by herself.

He saw Sydney without her shirt and did the same, removing his jacket and then shirt, "I'll take the top half and you the bottom… move very carefully with her muscles locked like this it will be easier to break her bones." He nodded and they both carefully picked up the massive dog and struggling to carry her dead weight in and thankful when Weiss and Vaughn came running back to help.

"Come on Nana, hang in there, Girl." Sydney's eyes filled with tears for the first time with the first waves of the adrenaline wearing off and reality setting in. Her mother, brother and sister were safe and being treated but now the real savior was dying in their arms. Her fur was completely frozen into ice and she only made small whimpering noises as they carried her towards the palace.

Katya came running back towards them, "Take her to the helicopter!" She cried, "Irina wants her brought with them."

"What the Tsar wants the Tsar gets especially on her birthday." Weiss nodded with a soft smile and tears in his eyes hearing that Irina too was so desperate to save Nana that she was using her pull and power to have the dog flown to the hospital with them.

They slid Nana in on the floor on a blanket and Weiss ripped his shirt off, one of the last two to go and climbed onboard with them, lying over the dog with his body and rubbing her furiously with his hands to keep the blood moving as they took off. Lena in Jack's arms, Irina in Kendall's and Marcelo with Julian needing to go to the hospital with them.

"Come on, Nana!" Weiss shouted trying to keep the dog with them and feeling her breathing become shallower. "You can't die damnit! Not after saving her!" His eyes had tears in them and he rubbed her body harder with his hand.

Looking down at her, this big beautiful dog with little red snow suit still clenched in her jaws they were all crying knowing she really had saved Lena and praying she didn't die.

The staff was waiting with Alexei who had been on his way to the party and redirected back to the hospital after just leaving learning everyone was coming in. They had thermal insulation heat blankets that replaced the body heat and Lena finally started coming out of her shock and began to cry looking over at her beloved dog on a stretcher beside her and not moving with her snowsuit still in her mouth.

"Nana! Nana!" She kept chanting over and over in a weak voice through tears and Jack tried to keep her calm when everyone was taken into different rooms.

Everyone who had offered the body heat going in with the person they came with: Jack with Lena, Kendall with Irina, Vaughn with Julian and Weiss with Nana, whom everyone in the ER was stunned to see.

"She saved the Tsarevicha's life. The Tsar wants you to do everything you can to save hers." Weiss told them even as they were already starting to work on the dog. If hearing that didn't do them in, seeing the teeny tiny snowsuit still in the dog's mouth did.

They'd all seen pictures of their little Tsarevicha with her beloved dog over the last year as well as the Tsar jogging with her in the mornings and knew she was a loved Imperial pet… another part of their family. They worked feverishly on her with people scrambling around and someone running to their car to get a hair dryer out of their suitcase prepared to leave on holiday after their shift, now standing over the massive dog and de-icing her fur.

"The Tsarevicha and Grand Duke are doing just fine, Your Majesty." A nurse came in and smiled at Irina forty-five minutes after they'd all been brought in, "Their body temperatures are almost within completely normal ranges and both are talking. Your son's hand is also broken." She looked down with a sad smile to where Irina's wrist was once again cast in the plaster material; in her favorite color this time of black. The same one she'd broken in Moscow, now again broken in several places though thankfully not requiring pins.

"Thank you." Irina smiled softly from her bed under heavy blankets, thermal and regular herself. Kendall in scrubs was sitting beside her on a stool wrapped in his own heated blanket after being chilled from her freezing body.

Alexei walked in the room just after and smiled at Irina, "How are you feeling, Birthday Girl?" He laughed softly sliding up on his own stool beside her bed.

"I'm fine." She answered softly with a voice still rasping and sore and squeezed his hand with a smile. "She's okay, really?"

"Yes, Child." He smiled, "I'm going to keep you all overnight for observation but yes, she's fine. Quite upset about Nana and that's actually the reason I'm in here… I'm going to give her something to sleep as she needs the rest to recover. She's so worked up about the dog she won't settle down. Jack said it was okay but wanted me to ask you too."

"Yes, if you think that's best." Irina nodded softly feeling her eyes watering with unshed tears. "How is Nana?"

"She's still holding on." He smiled softly, "A lot of water in her lungs that I'm concerned about pneumonia. She's the first dog I've ever worked on or this hospital," He laughed softly, "I've called in your veterinarian and he's with her now. She's an amazing dog. Though I wouldn't expect anything less from the Imperial family." He laughed softly.

"Thank you." She smiled and he stood and kissed her forehead as he always did.

"Get some rest, Your Majesty. We'll have to back the party up until tomorrow night." He chuckled and then lifted his pant leg showing off his red, white and green stripped socks, "And here I was ready to party." He made both she and Kendall laugh before he left.

"What a day, huh?" Kendall smiled at her softly and Irina turned her head to look over at him, "She really is an amazing dog." He pondered the heroic act he witnessed with the canine. "Guess its true, they really are man's best friend… or in this case, little girls'."

Irina smiled softly with a nod, "If she hadn't been there… and if Ash hadn't seen her go in." She shook her head in wonder, "This is where I ponder why things happen for a reason…"

"What do you mean?" He asked with a soft smile seeing there was more to her thoughts lurking in her brown depths.

"Just why certain things happen…" Irina spoke softly still thinking about the chain of events, "Oprah helped me with fighting against the sale of children on the Black Market," She began and Kendall's brows knit together truly not seeing any connection or where she was going with what happened today. "In turn, I helped her with her show in Africa and we all went there on safari. Lena encountered the lions there which led Eric to buying her the puppy last Christmas… not just any puppy but one big and strong like the lions… one she named Nana after a child's story where the dog looks after the children… and today this big strong dog did look after my child and saved her life." She sighed blinking back fresh tears, "And if Ash hadn't of been in the accident… she wouldn't have been lying in that bed, looking out the window to see Lena fall through… if she hadn't seen it happen, hadn't screamed for help… we would never have known Lena had fallen through… and Nana couldn't have held her up that long." Her eyes looked up to his to see if he thought she was crazy for thinking this.

"Hmm," Kendall nodded softly thinking about it all, "All very true."

"My only question now is… why did this happen? What was the reason for this?" Irina's eyes flashed away and deep breath.

"I don't know," Kendall shook his head, "But you'll drive yourself mad if you ponder it too much. I guess that's why they always say, hindsight is 20/20… you can't see the 'why' until after the next set of actions happens. For now, all I know is that I'm so very happy that the little Munchkin is okay." He smiled and got one out of Irina. "And that you are, too."

"Thank you… and I won't tell Jack about your grabbing my ass." She smiled and then broke into laughter making her cough seeing the look on his face. "I'm teasing." She laughed.

"Devil woman." Kendall snorted and then laughed with her, "How is it possible for someone to be the devil and an angel all at once?"

"Kendall, did you just call me an angel?" Irina raised her eyebrows in mock surprise continuing to tease him. "_Me?_ Former Number Six and headache from hell for you?"

"Yeah! _You!_ You drove me nuts then with your toying and you still do!" He laughed shaking his head, "We've come a long way you and me…"

"Hmmm," Irina nodded with a tight smile, "Yes… all those years ago you wouldn't even give me a stiff prison blanket and today you're giving me your own body heat." She laughed and so did he. "Thank you…" She sobered with a smile and holding his eyes with the look that made every man fall a little bit in love with her.

"You're welcome, Irina." He reached over the bed and clasped her fingers gently, "Got to say… I never thought I'd see you in your Birthday Suit… on your actual birthday of all days." He laughed bringing back the teasing in the next beat pulling his hand back; the moment of touchy feely gone and back to what they did best, bicker, banter and tease.

* * *

**_*O Holy Night*_**

Christmas Eve came and everyone was once again assembled to open gifts when Jack disappeared for a moment giving Irina a smile before he left.

Suddenly a loud bark broke through the chatter and laughter and Nana came tearing into the room with tail wagging and tongue out signaling happiness, running straight for Lena.

"Nana!" She squealed having not seen her friend who'd saved her life since that day.

Nana was taken from the hospital to the best veterinarian hospital in Moscow for the last two weeks, with Irina checking in on her every three days with flights down there for business and bringing her home just this morning to surprise Lena.

Everyone was elated with the hero's recovery and Irina in thanks, had a leather collar made especially for Nana making her an official part of the family: baby blue like that of their Imperial sashes only lined on the edges all the way around with delicate diamonds and dangling from the front, the medal of the Order of St. Andrew; the medal standing for _valor_ that she'd earned.

Irina couldn't help but smile as the gift opening went on to see that Nana was sitting beside Jack in the chair, both keeping watchful eyes over the children tearing into presents and Jack's hand stroking the dog's head and scratching behind her ear.

From now on, the dog would go everywhere with them if everyone in the family was going, another bodyguard standing silent vigil with watchful eyes and soulful heart.

When she tucked Lena into bed that night she kissed her daughter's tiny ear; Lena rolled over and was immediately asleep from the exhaustive exciting night and day. She smiled looking down at her and then kissed her again pulling the blankets up. Nana was already settled back to her normal spot at the foot of Lena's bed, keeping guard and Irina's eyes started to water with tears leaning down to pet the dog and then kissed the top of her nose.

"Goodnight, Nana." She whispered and then smiled, surprised when Nana quickly turned her head up and licked Irina's face, giving her own kiss goodnight. "Thank you for saving her life...for saving _my heart_." Irina smiled thanking the dog as she looked up the bed and saw her little angel sleeping.

* * *

During the middle of the birthday party for Mia and Felix in April of the following year, a surprise visitor dropped in that had them laughing hysterically holding their sides for hours; Konstantin Sergei Bernard was born three weeks early at 11:58 PM to join his sister and brother, in sharing a birthday of April Fools Day. Vaughn was relentless in his teasing of Weiss for now having three children born on the day of tricks and pranks.

Sergei and Madeleine ended with the exact same combination of children as his sister, Sophia, who now had a girl and two boys, only in reverse order, when they welcomed their first baby girl, Tora Silvia Katya, named for her beautiful grandmothers.

Lena had a big summer by first going along with her Mama on her first submarine cruise since they'd snuck into Libya when she was just a tiny baby. Once again they were taken on the maiden voyage of a new test class sub and the Captain was extremely happy to have them both aboard and had a tiny submariners suit waiting for the littlest Imperial that was entirely too adorable. She was supremely excited to tell everyone about the excitement and how she heard whales talking and Nicholas started crying because he didn't get to go and Irina promised him, she'd take him on the next one that was already scheduled for September.

* * *

Russia began a new partnership with the United States Space program to start further space exploration together and start working towards building a permanent space station on the moon as a base for potential trips beyond. When the director of NASA learned of Lena's love of space and heard her astounding knowledge he'd asked her to come back in July for a week to Space Camp now that she was seven, and the child could hardly contain herself so excited when Sydney zipped up her little blue flight suit uniform on the first day.

Sydney had taken her to Houston in what would become a yearly trip for the sisters together. The most hilarious moment came when they were spinning wildly in the anti-gravity simulation chamber and Lena started laughing hysterically, "It's like riding with Mama in the car!"

When the week was over for the two, they flew to Los Angeles to join the rest of the family and then set out camping at Lake Piru for Jack's birthday.

"Lena, what are we doing?" Nadia asked with a heavy sigh and grunt as she helped her big sister carry the large white bucket away from their campsite.

"We're letting the wormys go." Lena whispered back as the sun began to set behind them towards the lake where everyone else was sitting around chatting and laughing preparing dinner for the evening.

"Why? I thought Daddy brought them so we can go fishing tomorrow?" Nadia grunted when they finally set the heavy bucket down.

"Do you know what he's going to do with the worms, Firecracker?" Lena blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, calling her sister by the nickname their father had given Nadia, kneeling down by the bucket, "He pokes them through with the sharp hook on our fishing poles and then the fish comes along in the water and eats the wormy!"

Nadia's face looked disconcerted for a moment and watched Lena tip the bucket over and then started pulling the dirt and night crawlers out onto the ground. "But the worms are alive?" Nadia asked confused seeing the little creatures moving about in the dirt.

"Yes! That's why it's so mean!" Lena sighed exasperated, getting covered in black dirt as she freed the slimy worms. "We have to let them go so they can escape the hook! Go wormys go!" She smiled pushing them towards freedom and then picking up the bucket.

"Peanut! Firecracker!" They heard Jack's voice and quickly turned around, walking fast, back towards the rest of the group. "What are you doing?" Jack asked taking note of the bucket in Lena's hand and the fact she was covered in black dirt.

"I let the worms go. I didn't want them to die." Lena answered quietly afraid of getting in trouble but standing tall in her decision. "It was the right thing to do, Daddy."

Jack's heart clenched seeing her cute little face looking at him so seriously and Nadia's with a pouting lip. He didn't have time to respond before a swarm of birds broke the temporary silence and dove against the ground behind the girls.

Lena turned around first and saw the mass chaos as the birds started viciously attacking the worms and fly off with them. Her eyes went wide and a bloodcurdling scream erupted from her body as she dropped the buckets seeing those she set free now being devoured by the birds.

Her scream startled everyone and brought them running full speed around the tents just in time to see Lena running at the birds and trying to scare them off.

She flung herself on the ground trying to cover the worms from the dive-bombing birds and scoop them into her protection underneath her but there were too many and the birds were pecking her now incessantly. One worm in front of her was trying to get away and she reached out and grabbed it just as a bird dove in for it.

"No!" She screamed again with tears in her eyes, "Leave him alone!" She screamed again and then another bloodcurdling scream erupted from within her tiny form when the worm ripped in half in her fingers from both of them pulling on the tiny creature and it began flopping around bleeding and guts exposed. She went into complete hysteria, kicking and crying and screaming while Irina and Jack scared the birds off of her and picked her up. She went limp in Jack's arms but continued to sob until she was hiccupping saying she was trying to set them free.

A half hour of crying was all any of them could take with their hearts breaking for her noble intentions and went and bought a new bucket of worms for her to set free.

Now hours later in the dark, they were walking around in groups setting the worms free one by one with Lena leading the way.

"Well, I don't know what kind of Humanitarian she's going to be," Kendall laughed setting down a worm with Lena and then looking up at her parents with a smile, "But she's already quite the _Wormatarian_." Jack and Irina looked over at each other holding their children's hands and smiled, laughing softly with pride at her big heart at saving even the smallest of creatures.

* * *

In November, they were once again gathered at the house in Los Angeles to celebrate Lena's birthday and it was then, that Sydney realized, her daughter on this day was 'exactly' the same age she had been when her mother had 'died' on this same day so many years ago. Only six years and seven months… so little, and looking at Anya her eyes filled with tears unable to imagine what it must have been like for her mother to say goodbye to her child knowing it would be forever…Sydney knew she would be devastated… her mother was.

Irina looked over and saw the silent tears streaming down Sydney's face while they watched Lena opening her gifts and saw that Sydney was staring intently at Anya. It only took her mind a moment to realize what Sydney was thinking about and slowly, she walked over and wrapped Sydney into her arms. Everyone watching the silent tears streaming down both of their faces that were buried in the other's hair slowly began to realize the significance as well seeing the flash in Jack's eyes watching them and Anya.

* * *

_***Toi Jamais***_

_Paris, France - February 14th, 2011 - Jack and Irina's Anniversary_

"Oh, I love her voice." Irina smiled with fingers entwined with Jack's watching Bella on the stage of her club in Paris, singing after much prompting from everyone at the table who wanted to hear her sing. "I should have hired her years ago!" She smiled and laughed softly with everyone who agreed. She had dedicated the song to Jack and Irina though her eyes were mostly held with her husband, Mikhail whose smile lit his entire face watching his gorgeous wife enchant everyone in the room.

"So which one of our children do you think is going to end up singing? Considering that both of our mothers have incredible voices." Sydney smiled over at Vaughn, her own fingers playfully caressing his.

"Well, the way Jaxx sings at the top of his lungs in the bathtub and shower…" He smiled with a laugh as everyone else snickered knowing well the little boy's penchant for singing loudly and laughing while washing his hair.

"Why haven't we made her sing more?" Irina smiled watching Bella with another soft laugh.

"I was just thinking that! She's amazing and looks gorgeous up there." Judy smiled sipping on her wine. "Yes, we definitely need her to sing more."

"Irina, too," Ben smiled, "I haven't heard you sing in a very long time…in fact, I think the last time was at your wedding in Santa Barbara when you were singing to Jack." His eyes flashed over with a small tease to the couple, "I think its only appropriate that you sing to him again tonight on the anniversary…only this time, so we don't have to strain our ears to hear your own beautiful voice." He laughed softly.

Irina shook her head with a smile looking down at their entwined hands, having always been slightly shy of singing publicly and usually took quite a bit of cajoling from people to get her up there, not to mention more wine. But as the years had passed in the constant public spotlight as the Tsar she had gotten much better at performing in public…piano at least, she still had never sung in public.

"Please…" Jack smiled speaking softly picking up her hand and kissed it with a look of love in his eyes.

She couldn't exactly turn him down when he was looking at her like that, on their anniversary and sighed rolling her eyes. Thankful and yet not when the song ended for Bella and provided a temporary distraction.

"Your turn, Irina." Bella smiled walking over to her with the microphone seemingly in on this plot to get her to sing.

"Was there a conspiracy I missed?" Irina laughed softly taking the microphone and kissing Bella on the cheeks, "That was beautiful. We've decided you must sing more often for us."

"Something naughty!" Weiss smiled yelling out softly watching her walk on the small stage directly in front of them, "We're in France after all!" He laughed with everyone around them and suddenly whistles and cheers went up seeing it was Irina. Those who had been regulars years before were happy again to see the woman they knew then only by her extraordinary voice but her identity had always remained a mystery. Now they knew who she was and were eager to see her singing before them again after so long.

_***Fibre De Verre***_

Irina whispered the name of the song to the band and smiled turning around when they immediately began to play and a loud cheer went up again from those who recognized the song. When she sat on the lounge sofa on the stage with her sexy leg poking through her slit bouncing her foot with the barely there high heel winking at Jack she set off another roar of laughter and cheers.

Her voice broke through and instantly the cheers began to taper off so they could hear her and Irina's eyes locked onto Jack's. She was being quite the flirt and tease with her body posture and smoldering looks and Jack was certain his face was flushed red around his raging smile and he was already thinking of ways to get them out, the sooner to claim her.

"Does she sing to you often, Jack?" Karen smiled with a giggle whispering across the table seeing the heated looks and lyrics making her sweat with the sexy words of the song.

"Never in French before." Jack answered with a smirk never taking his eyes off Irina and making them all laugh.

"She is gorgeous up there." Bella smiled proudly taking her own sip of wine and smiling at her husband who was tracing the knee of her own exposed legs crossed beside him. "For years, I had heard of a gorgeous dark haired woman who would mysteriously appear to sing a song every now and then… and would disappear just after. I had never been present those nights sadly and some thought she was a myth…I'm so happy now to see the reality."

"I think Sydney should go next," Julian smirked picking up his own glass, "I rather quite enjoyed your last performance here although this time… you could do without the touchy feely part of it."

"You are such a brat!" Sydney shook her head and laughed looking around and remembering the chaos that erupted that night with blazing bullets and frantic dashes.

Irina decided to amp things up with Jack already having a plan for just after this song and deciding that she might as well kick up the foreplay proceeding that plan right now. Slowly and looking at him like he were the only one in the room she left the stage, toyed with him for a while and then sat on his lap, playing with his tie and raking her nails through his shirt. When the song finished she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply sending throngs of shouts and whistles round the gorgeous space and cheering from their own table as well as laughter.

Irina handed the microphone to the house performer with a smile and then bit her lip, she whispered into Jack's ear and then stood.

_***Via Con Me***_

"Excuse me for a moment." She smiled trying to stop herself from laughing and then sashayed away still receiving appreciative applause and smiles.

Jack tried very hard to act interested in the rest of their table and concentrate on interacting instead of counting down the minutes until he was going to meet her in her office. Mid sentence he suddenly jumped up when the alarm in his head sounded and he excused himself.

"I'm going to go find my wife, if you'll excuse me." He didn't wait around to hear their snickers though he heard them as he walked away and all but ran up the stairs to Irina's office. Nodding at the security who were trying very hard not to smile at the far end of the hallway away from her door.

He knocked four times like she said and heard her deep voice telling him to enter. His breath caught and he quickly slammed the door shut leaning against it to hold himself up when he saw her already completely naked except for her heels that were now resting on her enormous desk as she sat in the large leather chair with legs crossed and sipping on her red wine.

Jack locked the door and stepped forward, practically tripping over himself as he rapidly undressed walking towards her and making her laugh watching him. She stood and he groaned with his eyes hungrily roaming her body struggling to get the rest of his pants off while trying to step out of his shoes.

Irina smirked at him eyeing him approvingly seeing his intentions rapidly growing extremely hard like an attentive soldier eager for duty and sipped at her wine setting the glass down beside her as she sat on the edge of the front of her desk.

Jack sighed heavily with pounding chest standing in front of her when he was done and gasped when Irina reached out and grabbed his throbbing manhood in the palm of her hand, pulling him towards her with it and making him gasp and smile at the same time. She spread her legs and bit further until he was standing between them and began to pump him softly in her hand, caressing his balls with the other and making him groan loudly.

His reaction only made her smile more and with a naughty look in her eyes she drug her thumb through the inside of her bottom lip, cocking her head to the side slightly looking at his cock and then circling its tip with her wet thumb making him gasp at the contact and taunting. Her tongue was next, lightly circling the rim and a shudder went through Jack when she took him inside her mouth.

His eyes trying to stay open watching her and then slammed shut and he jerked forward when her finger pressed up roughly against the spot she knew well just behind his sack that drove him nuts and to explosion rapidly. He couldn't stop his hands from going to her head tangling in her mane while he slowly rocked in time on the balls of his feet with her movements and found himself quickly losing control.

"Fuck Irina…" He ground out fighting hard not to lose it with the things her talented tongue were doing and decided turnabout was fair play and it was time to show her his own appreciation and taste her. His hands moved to her shoulders and slowly pushed her back using one arm to swipe her desk clear and her hot mouth released his throbbing cock that immediately slapped back against his abdomen so ready to be buried inside her heat.

His eyes flashed deviance and love when he slowly slid his arms under legs and went to his knees. His hands found their way to her breasts and her legs were already in position over his shoulders when his tongue slid between her slick folds tasting her scent and making Irina throw her head to the side biting her lip stifling a moan.

His tongue was slowly lapping and brushing against her clit teasing it mercilessly until he smiled actually able to feel her heart beat through against his tongue it was throbbing so hard. He caressed her breasts gently and rolled her nipples into tight little beads with his fingertips using the same motion his tongue was against her clit caught between his teeth. "Oh God, Jack…" Her head lulled quickly to the other side with her eyes shut tightly.

She started panting and muscles quivering as she felt the explosion about to rock her and when he plunged his tongue into her heat she flew off the edge under its twirling assault that didn't cease as her body rocked and bounced on the desk. Her fingers on one hand sliding down to continue to tease her clit and the others grabbed at Jack's hair and pulled his head up to her, pulling him up to her as she pulled herself upright slightly and crashed their lips together.

His chin, lips and mouth all painted from the eruption with her molten lave juices gave her a taste making them both moan with crazed tongues when Jack's hand met with hers at her slippery center and his plunging fingers replaced his tongue there while he leaned over her slightly with naked shoulders brushing off each other. He removed his fingers from her sweltering heat only to capture her own teasing her clit and braced them against the back of his own as he slid hers and his together inside her tight little box, curling his fingers under hers' to brush both of their tips against the sensitive nerve bundles making them both gasp at feeling her muscles spasm around the dual invasion.

Jack controlled the stroking and fucking inside her with their fingers and moved his mouth from hers to suck lightly on her pounding pulse point, branding it with swirls of his tong and then leaned her further back holding fast to her hand to make sure her fingers wouldn't slip out and assaulted her breast with his tongue sending her senses into complete overdrive. His teeth grating against her brown little peaks standing at attention just for his tongue sent the first wave of shivers through her and then gasp when he roughly plunged their fingers deeper and pulled her into oblivion once more with Jack determined to get her off as many times he could as fast as he could on this night of their anniversary.

He loved the feel of both their fingers being soaked and spasm against inside her heat where they'd worked together and the small sounds she made in the back of her throat before her orgasm him always egged him on. She bit her lip trying to stop from screaming too loudly with its mighty roar tearing through her and Irina didn't have much of a chance to recover before Jack had pulled their fingers out and aligned his rock hard shaft with her dripping core, plunging in deeply to fill her completely in one hard thrust and stealing her not recovered breath, pounding into her mercilessly while she was still riding her last orgasm high and bringing her rapidly back to her peak falling over again within seconds and screaming name.

"Jack…oh fuck!" She panted between the sounds of slapping skin and the scent of sex. His hands going to the small of her back and the other to the desk where he helped brace them with Irina already dropped back on her elbows and soon all the way on her back unable to withstand his pounding and the way his blood ridges kept her fire at an inferno of boiling proportions sending her over and over again and again.

A fine sheen of sweat covered both of them as Jack picked up her right leg and draped it over his shoulder without missing a beat of his incessant drive and stretched her out as far as he could lifting his own leg onto the desk, planting his foot down for leverage and then moved his left hand up above her shoulder leaning over her and going deeper then before, hitting as far as he could inside and holding her leg over his shoulder in place with the other arm with hand snaking over her abdomen and pressing down slightly to push her G-spot down and closer to his aggravating cock rapidly pushing them both over the edge with such intensity and a tandem of chanting with Jack's '_fucks_' and Irina's pants of '_ahh_' coming faster and faster until she spasmed hard shaking violently beneath him and pulled him with her under an intense muscle grip within, causing him to spew his seed into her with such forth it stole both their breath with blinding stars and violent shivering, both continuing to milk it for as long as they could with mouths fusing once more in rapid and intense and then slowing to languid kissing as their bodies came down.

"Mmmm, my God do I love you." Irina smiled up at him wrapping her arms around his neck over her leg still residing there as he had her doing the splits, collapsing onto her that way. Her tongue slipped past his swollen bruising lips and laughed softly feeling his hand slowly raking up her side tickling her slightly. "Have I told you lately how much I love being your wife?"

Jack smiled against her brushing lips never tiring of thinking about her such, 'his wife.' "Have I told you lately, how much that I love you are my wife?" He laughed softly kissing around her jaw-line in delicate kisses and then moving his arm so she could slowly put her leg down which she ended up wrapping over his ass to keep him close and buried inside while her muscles still milked at him.

"I love being your wife."

"I love being your husband." They both recited smiling softly looking at their dark pupils slowly coming back to normal.

"I plan on making love to you all over Paris tonight." Irina smiled laughing softly.

"Really?" Jack smiled intrigued against her neck kissing her sensitive spot below her ear and then making his way over her face in the lightest of kisses. "And where is the next destination we will be doing our dance of love making at?"

"Probably in the limo after we leave here…after dropping everyone off at home first of course," Irina laughed softly and smiled when his teeth nipped against her bottom lip, "And then I'm thinking the Eiffel Tower and from there we'll just have to wait and see where we end up…"

"Sounds like a brilliant plan, my gorgeous… genius… extraordinary… sexy… sensational… fantastic… amazing… wife." He smiled kissing her face and neck and chest between words.

"I love you, Jonathan Donahue Bristow." She looked up at him with such an intensity she hoped he could see and feel how much by exposing her soul to him so openly. "Forever and always…my everything is yours…"

"You are my everything…" Jack spoke quietly brushing a slightly sweat soaked hair from her face with a smile, "You have me forever and always…you always have…I love you, Irina…I love you." He leaned down to gently kiss her and tongues swept gently into each others mouths with loving caresses.

Jack pulled back to look at her, staring into her eyes and feeling himself drowning every time with their sheer intensity. He moves his arm feeling the circulation cut off and it was then, for the first time that he realized where he'd just made love to his wife…on a desk…and a flash of horror temporarily flew through his mind and heart, knowing they never ever had before, after her return because of what Cuvee had done to her on his desk during her time in prison.

"What is it?" Irina reached up to gently brush his face seeing the change in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a soft whisper swallowing hard, "I didn't even think…I'm sorry…"

It registered then, too, for Irina where they were and what they had done and knew why he was suddenly concerned. She felt a bit of surprise herself at realizing that for the first time she'd just gotten lost in the moment and hadn't thought about the 'where' they were making love. She hadn't freaked out, had actually been able to make love with Jack and not have it cross her mind. They used to make love on her desk at apartment or his when they were younger and then in their home and on occasion at school when she was a professor before her extraction and Kashmir…and tears filled her eyes thinking about it now.

"Damnit!" Jack cursed softly seeing her tears, mad at himself for not thinking in the first place and then bringing it up, "I'm sorry, Irina. I'm sorry."

**_*Let's Get Lost*_**

"Jack, no!" She shook her head, touching his face and smiling softly, "I'm not crying because I'm upset…I'm crying because we made love on a desk…and I honestly never once…had a flashback or moment of fear…just got lost in the moment. Only thought of you and wanting you, needing you…the location for the first time in a long time…didn't matter." She smiled seeing the tears welling in his eyes and feeling his fingertips lightly on her face where he was brushing away the falling tears, "We used to be able to make love on my desk or yours all the time without thinking twice about it…I had thought that was gone forever…I'm crying because its not. The mere thought used to terrify me but lying here with you on top of me now…your weight holding me down…I feel safe…and loved…not afraid…the fear is gone." Her voice cracked slightly with the thick emotion and Jack's tear fell onto her cheek joining hers and running into her hair.

He couldn't speak too choked with emotion and showed her instead by slowly closing the distance and kissing her as gently as he could. Irina threaded her fingers into his hair and increased the intensity of the kiss with tears mingling pulling him closer and pushed her back further, moving his own body fully on top of the giant wooden structure to straddle her body that was still linked to his.

His fingers and hers' found their way together and linked above her head with Jack's fingers curling around the edge of the desk over hers' for traction when she wrapped her other leg around him, locking them tightly around his waist and softly rolling against him, bringing him back to life inside her. His own knees braced against the surface rolling his hips gently against her'own efforts.

"I love you." Jack whispered against her ear feeling her warm tears falling against his cheek where his face was buried into her neck and began placing kisses against her temple then cheek, kissing the tears away though his own were still silently falling.

"I love you." She whispered back with her voice catching, breath stolen feeling him completely hard inside her once more and brushing against her still fiery nerves. "Forever…" Came out in a breathless whisper against his slow thrusting as they made much slower this time, cherishing, loving, nurturing.

This time when they fell over the edge they were holding in the plunge and looking straight into each others tear filled eyes filled with the raw power of an undying love only growing stronger every moment of the day. With slight gasps and held back sobs they fell into each other with bodies tightly held and Irina's arms securely around his neck, crying into her arms and his neck with mouth close to his earth whispering in thick a Russian voice just how much she loved him, needed and always would…and Jack did the same.

He picked her up gently, still holding tightly and simply held her, with both crying softly standing beside her desk for a long time. His hands cupping her face and kissing her forehead, then each eye and cheek holding her gaze and then leaning in to kiss her lips one last time before they put themselves back together.

"I love you so much I feel like I can't breathe most of the time." He looked deeply into her eyes with his own blurry ones speaking in the language of her heart, breathless. "I love you, Irina Bristow…my wife, the mother of my children, my partner and my best friend…not to mention my gorgeous Tsar." He added with a small smile and laugh easing the moment and kissed her lips again.

"And I love you, Jonathan Bristow…my husband, the father of my children, my partner and my best friend…" Irina smiled softly with seriousness, in her quivering tone speaking in the language of his heart though heavily tinged with her Russian accent because she was so emotional. "You've always been home to me…and I love you more with every beat of my heart…so much so, that at times…I feel like its going to explode out of my chest…" She moved his hand to cover her pounding heart, his palm pressed flat against her scarred flesh and bouncing slightly from the thunderous beats of her large heart beneath. "Love you, love you, love you, love you," She chanted in a whisper in time with each of the rapid beats of her heart, they could both feel, with a smile. Her voice tapered off as he slowly moved in with palm still against her thudding heart and kissed her softly.

* * *

July came and Sydney had found out she was pregnant again, expecting in December and it was with heavy heart she told Lena that she wouldn't be able to 'go' on the rides with Lena at Space Camp this year but she had another idea…they would take Antony, her best friend, with them so they could go on the rides together since Sydney wasn't able. The three of them had an absolute blast and Antony kept saying over and over that he'd, '_never had so much fun in all his life_.' Every time he'd say it, it brought tears to Sydney's eyes knowing what the little boy had lived through before.

* * *

On December 6th , thirty years after Irina had left them under extraction and on the anniversary of the day she and Jack first met on the steps in Georgetown, Sydney gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl. They hadn't found out the sex of the baby before hand, wanting their last child to be a surprise though Irina had already been certain it was a girl. Four hours old and they were deciding on a name for the gorgeous little beauty with blonde hair.

_***Lara's Theme***_

Irina was cradling the baby in her arms with a smile looking down at her perfectly sweet little face sitting on the edge of Sydney's bed with just she and Vaughn, everyone else having gone home for the night as it was late. They'd thrown out a bunch of names and still couldn't agree or look at her with certainty and know that was 'who' this child was.

"You met Dad on this day in Georgetown didn't you?" Sydney looked over at her mother with the baby and a soft smile graced her face remembering what day it was, "And it was thirty years ago this year that you had to leave us…" Her smile fell just a little tilting her head to the side just a bit and laying her hand over her mother's, "With this day and year being so momentous in your life and mine…I'd like to name her after you."

"I think that sounds like a good idea." Vaughn smiled softly seeing the instant tears already clouding both women's eyes.

Irina thought about what Sydney had said and looked into the face of her grandchild, "What about Lara?"

Both Sydney and Vaughn froze in disbelief Irina had actually suggested such a name, the name she derived her alias Laura from out of her favorite film then, Dr. Zhivago.

"Lara…" Sydney repeated in a whisper looking at her mother who was still looking thoughtfully at the baby and silent tears slipping down her cheeks. "Mom, are you sure?" She asked her mother in a trembling voice, having always wanted to name one of her little girls after her mother, Laura, growing up before she knew the reality of Irina but for some reason now, it just seemed 'wrong' to name her child after the alias.

"Of course," Irina's eyes smiled flashing up to Sydney, "The name of Laura was and will always be a significant part of my life…and yours and your fathers." She smiled squeezing Sydney's fingers, "Your father met 'Laura' on this day all those years ago…and it was 'Laura' that was lost thirty years ago. I just think that if you want to name her after me in some way…it seems fitting that its Lara. Not exactly Laura…but close enough to remember what 'Laura' meant to us all, and yet, give this beautiful baby girl her own identity."

Sydney was crying with rampant silent tears over her smile and Vaughn's eyes flashed to her's with a soft smile and nod that he liked the name. "I love the name Lara and I think its perfect for all the reasons you said but…Mom…are you sure because I don't want this to hurt you in anyway or make you think that somewhere deep inside me I still long for 'Laura' and that's not true because I know that it was always you…you just had a different name." She sniffled playing with her mother's hand.

"Yes, I'm sure." Irina smiled wiping at her own falling tears and then clasping Sydney's fingers again, "I love the name Lara too…that's why I chose it all those years ago for my alias and I wouldn't have suggested it, Sweetheart…if I wasn't sure." She smiled widely and wiped at more falling tears with a nervous laugh.

"Ok," Sydney sniffled with a smile in turn and looked at Vaughn who was nodding, "Lara it is… but I want it to be Lara Irina…" She smiled at her mother with fresh tears.

"How about Lara Irina Sydney?" Vaughn smiled softly pushing his wife's hair behind her ear.

"Perfect." Sydney smiled widely at him and kissed his lips while he wiped at her tears.

"What do you think Lara?" Irina sniffled with a smile looking down at the baby slowly opening her eyes looking up at her grandmother. She made a little noise and raised her little fist making them laugh.

"I think she likes it." Sydney laughed softly and kissed her tiny head. "Mom what does Lara mean? Do you know?" She asked with a smile knowing her mother was the queen of name meanings.

"Lara means goddess, honor, spirit, and fame." Irina answered softly brushing her finger gently over the baby's tiny cheek.

"Goodness." Sydney laughed softly with Vaughn, "That's quite the meaning."

"Well I already think she's a tiny goddess." Vaughn smiled happily looking at her gorgeous little face.

"Definitely appropriate meanings for being named after her Babushka." Sydney smiled squeezing her mother's hand again and then leaned forward to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you, too. All three of you." Irina smiled kissing Vaughn with a smile and then the baby. "Thank you…it is an honor."

* * *

2012 was a flurry of kids activities from dance recitals, soccer, hockey and baseball games, swim meets and gymnastic practices and horse shows. Vaughn was thrilled to start the official Russian Little League program for the spring and early summer for the kids of Russia with his father under Irina's smiling suggestion and soon all of their own little ones were dressed in pin strips slugging balls into newly built ball diamonds all over St. Petersburg and in Moscow and several other larger cities with more and more programs being established in the smaller cities.

The Little Imperials team was once again consisting of children of the Imperial house and Irina's other children, the orphans. They almost had an undefeated season with only one loss and one tie. The part they loved the best was Weiss teaching the entire bench full of kids how to blow the perfect bubble from their Big League bubble gum chew and it was hard not to laugh seeing their little dangling legs on the wooden bench blowing massive bubbles.

The same kids made up the soccer and hockey teams, the Imperial children and the orphans, all Irina's kids in one way or another and it made her heart soar every time she saw their brilliant little smiles playing and having fun. The League was based after the American Little League system with the Minor, Majors, and Seniors ages four to fourteen.

In the winter, Vaughn, Weiss and Mikhail Co-Captained the children's hockey team and they were in love with their new 'jobs' of organizing the sports leagues of the Russian children.

Lena was still running with Irina in what had become a morning ritual and sometimes late afternoon depending on Irina's schedule with the affairs of the state. Often times, Sydney would join them and the three would share many laughs as Lena recounted her days at school. Irina had been teaching her as well as the others with Julian and Sydney on occasion various martial arts for self-defense and discipline and so far the two best at it were Lena and little Ria at ages nine and seven.

That summer they went to the Olympics in London and all their little eyes went wide watching the grandeur of it all and both Katya and Irina couldn't ignore the spark they saw in Lena's eyes watching the events especially on the track and the marathon that had once lay in the shadows of a young Irina's own gaze. Nor could they ignore the fact the child seemed to 'kick everything up a notch' when they returned home, running longer and fighting harder.

Nadia met her favorite hero, Nadia Comaneci at the gymnastics competition in the games and told her all about how she had pictures of the famous gymnast all over in her room and wanted to be just like her. The former Olympian was quite flattered to hear such respectful praise from such a tiny girl of only eight and promised to come watch her perform in December at the I_mperial Russian Winter Exhibition_ in St. Petersburg, the first major show case Nadia was going to be in.

Irina spotted her old friend approaching from the aisle just above the center of the stadium covered in gym mats below and Russian gymnasts of all ages showing off their stuff for fun. She stood rapidly and walked towards her quickly with tears in her eyes having not seen the woman since she was sixteen.

"Oh my God I can't believe it!" She cried happy tears throwing her arms around the blonde woman's neck and hugging her equally tightly. "It's been too long!"

"Oh my God…is that?" Judy sat up in her seat pointing slightly with her finger towards the woman Irina was hugging.

"Olga Korbut," Jack smiled shaking his head at yet something new he just learned, "Why am I not surprised that Irina would be friends with the famous Russian gymnast." He laughed thinking about watching the gymnastics competition on television with Irina from those games as well and cheering for Olga; it wasn't alarming or cause for deeper concern to see 'Laura' cheering for the Soviet gymnast as the rest of America was too. Olga had done wonders to ease tensions in the _Cold War_ at the time.

"She was my idol." Judy gushed with nervousness. "I think we all wanted to be little pixie gymnasts after watching her amazing performance at the Munich games."

"They were in the same training facility for the Soviet Athletics program." Katya smiled watching the two she knew hadn't seen each other since that time, "Olga used to practice her gymnastics in the center of the facility while Rina was running around the exterior track. They became friends and were supposed to go to the Munich games together." She smiled sadly.

"How is it possible you are even more beautiful now than you were then?" Olga cupped the side of Irina's face with a smile, "I've missed you…and that laughter of yours as you ran laps around me."

"I've missed you, too." Irina smiled, "Come, I'd like to introduce you to my family. Nadia's here, too."

"I was just going to say, I thought I saw her down the row!" Olga smiled waving softly at her old competitor from the Montreal Games where Nadia had beaten her with her perfect score of ten, knocking Olga into second. The two had become friends rather then enemies.

"Yes, she is. She's keeping her promise to my own Nadia, who will be so excited to know you're here watching her too." Irina smiled over her shoulder leading Olga by the hand down the row.

"Where is your little darling?" Olga asked with bright smiling eyes scanning the floor below them.

"There." Irina stopped pointing with a smile to where Nadia was stretching in her tiny leotard, white with the Russian blue and red stripes waving like a banner over the top portion and her arms with the Imperial Eagles seal on her upper right shoulder like the rest of the gymnasts below. Her dark little hair pulled back in a severe bun and giggling madly at whatever one of the other little girls was saying. "She has no fear that one."

"You never did either." Olga smiled, "I still can't believe you're the Tsar…all that time you were a Romanov," She was shaking her head softly with wonder, "It's a shame they wouldn't let you compete in Munich…I had tears in my eyes watching Lyudmila win and knowing it should have been you…" She squeezed Irina's forearm supportively, "And when I learned the 'why' all those years later…you weren't able to compete, it broke my heart again."

"It was a long time ago," Irina smiled having made peace with that injustice, "I was cheering loudly for you though, watching on my television in America." She laughed softly, "I was so happy the rest of America had fallen in love with you as well because I wasn't sure I wasn't going to be able to not smile when everyone kept saying your name. I was so proud to be Russian watching you."

"Thank you." Olga felt new tears in her eyes.

"Everyone I'd like to introduce you to one of my oldest friends, Olga Korbut…we attended the same club in Moscow for training." Irina smiled down at all the faces smiling widely with excitement to meet the 'Mother of Gymnastics.' "I've invited her here today for two purposes, to see my old friend again," She squeezed the woman's hand who looked at her with raised eyebrows of surprise, "And to hopefully encourage her to leave that desert state of Arizona and come back to Russia to take over as the head of the Russian gymnastics program…who better then to lead the program than the Mother of Gymnastics?"

Olga's eyes went wide while everyone around them cheered, "Okay, I accept." She said immediately with determination that surprised them all again that she didn't need to think about it. "I've been wanting to come 'home' ever since you took over as Tsar and training little Russian girls again…I would be honored."

"Good!" Irina smiled hugging her madly.

They cheered and applauded all the brilliant little performers and Nadia was the last to go on her first event the Uneven Bars.

_***The Cossack's Song***_

"I am so excited to see this." Sydney smiled widely.

"You haven't seen her routine before?" Nadia Comaneci smiled sitting beside her watching as little Nadia put resin on her hands to be able to grip the bars while her coach talked to her.

"No, none of us have." Sydney laughed, "We've never seen her perform at all on this level as my sister has been adamant about making it a 'surprise' for all of us."

"Awe…look how cute she is!" Vaughn couldn't stop smiling while bouncing his youngest daughter, Lara on his knee who was turning one next week. The coach had lifted Nadia up to the highest of the bars where she hung straight and would begin her routine.

"Oh, starting at the High Bar is very difficult." Nadia Comaneci shook her head with a smile and Olga nodded with her.

They all gasped with smiles watching her swing her little legs twice and then pull herself upright with toes to the bar and swing around fully for the first time dropping them down and gaining mometum going around and around twice before she let go, turned and grabbed the bar again, swung around again and then let go turning and grabbing the shorter bar and flipping around wildly on that as well before launching back up to the top. Mouths were hanging open watching her performance and then as she flung her tiny self off the high bar in a flip and landed on two little feet without a bounce, squatted down on her little haunches with fists by her side, smiling widely and then jumping up to cheer upon sticking her landing and everyone in the place immediately jumped to their feet in shocked applause.

Jack and Irina just looked at each other with stunned smiles, "Well then…I guess she's a gymnast." Jack laughed softly, "Good pick up on that one Mama." He kissed Irina's lips remembering her idea so many years ago to put their daughter into gymnastics as a way to let her express her need to climb and hang.

Olga and Nadia were looking at each other with a knowing gaze and nodded on a silent understanding with raging smiles before turning to face Irina and Jack.

"If its alright with the two of you…my first act as President of the Imperial Russian Gymnastics Program is to hire Nadia, here," Olga motioned with her head behind her towards the famed Romanian gymnast, "To coach your daughter…whom I think just may be…a little gymnastics prodigy." She smiled widely with Nadia nodding and smiling behind her.

Jack and Irina were both stunned to see the two women telling them they believed in Nadia's abilities enough at only eight years old to want to coach her. "But you live in the States?" Irina asked with a dry voice of surprise to the gorgeous elder Nadia. "Your husband and your son? What about them?"

"They'll move…I'm sure of it." Nadia smiled, "I've never seen in a child what I see in her…the way she performs certain things…is incredible." She shook her head in disbelief looking down to where little Nadia and the other gymnasts were moving to the next apparatus. "I think she will definitely be a contender for the Moscow games in eight years."

Everyone's eyes went wide and Irina swallowed hard with her sight landing on her youngest, so little and smiling down below having so much fun. "But I don't want her whole childhood spent in a gym…I don't want her training instead of playing. I don't want her to turn into being obsessed just to win. She's just a little girl…"

"I agree with you and so does Olga," Nadia smiled apparently having this part of the conversation without being said as well, "But we both see her talent and we know that if she continues in gymnastics she will be exploited by some other coaches who see only Olympic Gold and not a little girl…we've both been there. For as much as Bella was a wonderful coach…I know now as an adult looking back, how he exploited me and my talents for his own purposes." She shook her head sadly thinking about the most famous gymnastics coach who gained his fame from exploiting her, "He didn't care that I was just a young girl…but I do care, Olga and I don't want that to happen to her and I know that it will…this is why I'm offering to be her coach. Because I won't let her become obsessed or consumed with the life of a gymnast. She will still be a little girl and I'll only push her as far as she wants to be pushed… and I promise her health and safety comes first."

Jack and Irina sighed turning to look at each other and having their own silent conversation, nodding slightly with acceptance and agreement. "Okay, but I want to include Nadia in this decision…ask her what she wants and if this is something she wants to do."

"I think that is an excellent idea." Olga smiled as did Nadia.

Nadia of course, was overjoyed and jumping all around the palace living room when the four of them sat her down and asked her if it would be okay that they start training her as her new gymnastics coaches. Her joy reminded them of a jumping Mexican Bean as she bounced from one to the other and then fell on the ground kicking her little feet and laughing with screams of excitement showing just what a little girl she was.

* * *

2013 had seen Russia come in a very close second behind the United States as far as economy in its slow but also rapid rise since Irina had taken over putting the countries _neck-and-neck_ for who was the real super power of the world with Irina at the reins. Many debates began as to whether the President of the United States or the Tsar of Imperial Russia was the actual most powerful person in the world at the time.

All the talk made Irina nervous and she generally politely shied away from such talks bowing out gracefully instead of asserting her power. She was happy with where her country was and continuing to go and she didn't need more 'titles' mucking it up and continued on the way she always had, by doing what was best for the country.

* * *

July once again brought them to the States for camping and this time, it was trekking down into the Grand Canyon that turned hysterical riding on the backs of donkeys.

"I. Can't. Get. Mine. To. Go!" Nine-year old Nadia bounced on her little gray donkey hitting it lightly with a stick in the butt trying to make it catch up with everyone else who were looking back and laughing hysterically at her.

"Kick him softly, Sweetheart." Irina encouraged her trying not to laugh at her daughter who had been having problems with her donkey for two days in a row now.

"I've tried that Mama!" Nadia's fiery eyes incensed when the donkey just stopped and refused to go anymore. "Please Mr. Donkey! Just go! Can't you see all those other donkeys up there moving right along?"

"Oh God, where is the video camera?" Weiss laughed hysterically at her, "Oh look she's getting off to negotiate…this should be interesting consider who her parents are." He smiled over to Jack and Irina while everyone pulled up to stop where they were traveling along the mighty Colorado River having just come down the steep slopes of the Canyon sides.

"Now listen Mister!" Nadia held his reins and got in his face, "I've been very nice to you and not kicked you hard or whipped you and all you have to carry around is me! Not sleeping bags or tents or pots and pans! Just me! I'm little! Please! Can you just walk along nicely and I'll give you a big drink when we reach the campsite in just a little bit?" The donkey's ears perked up and started walking leaving Nadia to jump and then walk rapidly beside him. "That's the idea!" She smiled triumphantly and pulled him to a stop so she could jump back on, a pro at mounting and dismounting from gymnastics and riding her horse, Firecracker, in Russia. "Ok, go now." She bounced in the little saddle a bit and clicked her tongue but the thing wouldn't move.

"Arrrhgh"! She strangled a scream that still echoed off the canyon walls and jumped off again and as soon as she did the animal started moving quickly. This process repeated itself four times before she flung herself onto the dirt floor and started stomping her feet with the donkey looking down at her and everyone else laughing hysterically.

"I think Little Miss Stubborn has finally met her match!" Weiss laughed hysterically at the battle of wills between Nadia and the donkey. "This is hilarious! I haven't laughed this hard in months!"

"I'll help her." Lena sighed and turned her own little donkey back around and went back to collect her sister. "Here." She jumped down reaching her hand out to Nadia and pulling her to her feet, "You ride Barney and I'll ride Mr. Donkey." She smiled softly at her sister trading the reins of their two animals.

"Ope…" Weiss smiled, "Look at that…now we can call her The Little Donkey Whisperer too!" He laughed out loud echoing loudly off the canyon walls with everyone else seeing Lena talking to the donkey while Nadia jumped up on her sister's donkey Barney and then waited for Lena. Within seconds, Lena was on Mr. Donkey and the two girls and animals were trotting up behind the others ready to go.

"She certainly has a way with animals." Irina smiled brushing Lena's face with a smile when her daughters came up to the left of her, "My own little Dr. Doolittle." The ten year old smiled away shyly.

"Doo-do-ittle!" One and a half year old Lara giggled from her space in front of Irina riding with her Babushka in the saddle.

"No silly baby!" Three-year old Isolde giggled from where she was riding with her Papa Jack. "Docta Doolittle!" She threw her head back laughing making them all laugh at her cuteness and conversations with Lara. She was as dark complexioned as Lara was light. Both were gorgeous.

"Those two are so cute together," Sydney smiled to where Antony and Lena were lying on a blanket a little ways away from everyone and the fire so they could look up at the stars. "They were so adorable at Space Camp and I kept telling them to which I quickly earned the slanted Derevko eyebrow from Lena who said, Nee-Nee stop embarrassing me! I'm not adorable anymore! I'm ten!" She chuckled with the others around the campfire.

"Well her mother is still adorable as are you." Jack smiled happily from where he was poking the fire with a stick moving the logs around and grinning happily at the slanted eyebrow he received from both women over their glares.

"Jack, I'm not adorable…we've had this discussion." Irina shook her head trying not to laugh while securing marshmallows on the ends of sticks for her youngest grandchildren.

"Oh yes, I know and we'll keep having it as you're always adorable and forever beautiful," He laughed softly and ducked the marshmallow she threw at him playfully. The fact was that Irina's body with her Rambaldi genetics, and now with years passing and not being under attack from her line of work and always having to repair itself, her self sustaining cell regeneration properties that Rambaldi had hinted at seemed to have slowed her aging process way down.

Katya's too, since she received her bone marrow donation from Irina and when her hair had grown back in, it was a gorgeous thick long black like it had been years before and where before the surgery she was just starting to get little strands of gray, not a one existed now. The glow about her was impossible to miss.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Christmas Eve 2013_

Once again the family was on their way to the Christmas Eve church service via sleighs and they suspected Weiss was up to something when he had all the children piling into the last two sleighs with him and there was much hushed whispering going on and giggling when the horses took off flying over the snow.

"You know they're up to something." Jack laughed looking over his shoulder to the back where the kids were giggling beneath the blankets.

They didn't have a lot of time to ponder the 'what' before the tiny voices started singing out loudly, "Babushka got run over by a reindeer sleighing to church on Christmas Eve! You can say there's no such thing as Santa but as for me and Papa we believe!"

Irina was laughing and shaking her head listening to the changed lyrics and looking back at the children singing loudly hearing a mixed chorus of most Babushkas but with some Mama's in there from her own children and Daddy's.

"She'd been drinking too much vodka and we begged not to go, but she forgot medication and she staggered out the door into the snow!" The kids and parents started laughing hysterically while Weiss continued to direct them. "When we found her Christmas morning at the scene of the attack she had hoof prints on her forehead and incriminating Claus marks on her back!"

They wouldn't stop singing it for days and Irina got him back by drugging him in an innocent cup of hot chocolate and then just before everyone woke up she and Jack had stripped him down to his Christmas boxers, put rubber boots on him with a Santa hat and laid him in the snow just outside the French Doors in the kitchen where everyone would find him immediately just in time for him to wake up with the shot she gave him to bring him back to life.

The kids were laughing hysterically pointing out the window at him slowly coming to with the bottle of vodka in his hand, in his Christmas underwear, boots and hat and when he sat up stunned looking over at their little hysterical faces pressed up against the glass, they saw the hoof prints drawn on his forehead in permanent black marker.

The hysteria from everyone only continued when they brought him inside, wrapped him in blankets and gave him more hot chocolate to warm up his freezing butt while they all had a good laugh at him and Sophia could hardly contain herself trying to scrub the hoof prints off his forehead. The children were all now singing variations of, "Daddy, Uncle and Cousin Eric got run over by a reindeer." A book of pictures had been started just for the war between them and the kids were more then eager to take the new pictures and put them in the book as well.

"By drugging me…you've just taken this to a whole new level you two!" Weiss smiled through his chattering teeth, "Only perverse former spies would drug someone like it was nothing! Watch out!"

He didn't wait long to get his revenge and took it that night knowing everyone was staying with them at the palace for the holidays and having the perfect audience as well as unwilling participants to choose from.

After a night of games and some heavy drinking making sure that everyone was sufficiently intoxicated by the way he kept opening new bottles of vodka for them, knowing in Russian tradition it was bad luck to not finish an opened bottle, and therefore getting their targets quite drunk after the kids had all gone to bed.

And just to make sure they'd be knocked out sufficiently, they added a little something extra to certain people's drinks and smiled watching everyone go to bed.

"They're going to kill us for this you know?" Sophia tried not to laugh stripping the clothes off of her aunt while her husband had his back turned so he couldn't see and his shoulders bouncing with laughter.

"I don't care. At least it will be a fun death just to see the look on their faces…" He clamped his hand over his mouth in the early morning hour trying to be quiet finishing their prank.

"Ok," Sophia sighed pulling the blankets up over her aunt and then fixing her wild mane in a sultry position cascading down her naked back and moved his arm around her with the nearly empty bottle of vodka clutched in it. "She's going to kill us."

Weiss couldn't stop laughing taking a picture and then handing the camera to Sophia before taking out a syringe, "Okay, I'll give them twice as much so it will even out with the others and they should wake up at the same time in about five minutes." He laughed, injecting them both and then hurrying her out of the room. "Okay, you take the far rooms and I'll take these! Hurry!" He smiled kissing her lips and they started banging on doors, careful not to wake the kids.

"Alright, now what did you do?" Katya yawned sleepily standing in the living room sipping on the waiting coffee with a smile minutes later.

"The best ever revenge." Weiss laughed evil like and turned on the massive flat screen to who the split screen of the two bedrooms.

"Oh. My. God." Sydney gasped with smile widening, "They are going to KILL you!" She couldn't believe what she was seeing. "You drugged them obviously?"

"They drugged me, paybacks a bitch!" He laughed hysterically, "Oh look they're waking up!"

Jack's mouth began to move and then his arm and his head felt heavy hearing the sloshing liquid and opened his eyes to look at the bottle of vodka in his hand with knit eyebrows of confusion before turning his head and eyes widening severely.

Irina's eyes were just starting to flutter open feeling the hand brushing down her back and then hearing the slosh of the liquid and turned her face upon his chest to see the bottle of vodka in hand and then turned her head all the way around with wide eyes and screamed along with Kendall when they came face to face at the same time Jack and Judy were screaming at waking up naked with each other in the other room.

The people downstairs were rolling on the ground and couches hearing the simultaneous screams and the looks on their faces as the four onscreen scrambled to cover themselves and then launched back from each other.

"What the hell happened?" Jack asked in a flurry with pounding head and racing heart staring at the woman in bed with him that was not his wife while they were both naked and hung-over and he tried desperately to remember going to bed last night but he couldn't.

Weiss pushed two buttons through his red faced hysterical laughter and the flat screen televisions on the walls in front of both beds in the bedrooms came on to show what was going on in the opposite rooms and they all screamed again to see their spouses in bed with the other spouse that was not their own.

"What is he doing in bed with my wife?" Came screaming forth from both Kendall and Jack pointing angrily at the screen in front of them and causing another loud bout of laughter to course through everyone down stairs.

Irina was equally upset trying hard to remember going to bed last night and feeling like she was hung-over which she never was on vodka and her head was pounding. "Grab a sheet! We're getting answers!" She ground out through clenched teeth and then clutched at the one to her chest when he started pulling it away from her, "Not this one!" She screamed when he almost exposed her and the people down stairs lost it again to see Kendall so absolutely flustered in bed with a naked Irina.

"Grab a sheet!" Jack commanded in the same train of thought as Irina in his own room and saw her preparing to leave the other room and was determined not to let her find him in bed with Judy.

The four managed to get out of bed with backs turned to each other and all parts covered before charging out into the hallway looking like they were wearing togas.

"Oh we can't miss this!" Sydney laughed and they all bolted from the room to the massive foyer to look up and catch them all in the hallway stopping dead in their tracks just feet away sizing each other up with angry, questionable looks before the group downstairs burst into hysterical pointing laughter, falling on the floor again looking up at them.

Irina's eyes turned black and a feral grin graced her face when she realized what had happened and who was responsible looking over the banister, "Oh you are so dead Mr. Weiss."

Her voice was like death and she immediately bolted down the hallway and steps causing everyone to roar seeing her chase him in a sheet, eventually catch him, hook her leg around the back of his and drop him down like a sack of potatoes, landing on his chest with her sitting there and pinning his arms down with her knees inflicting Chinese torture to his chest under his chin while they took pictures of her making him squirm and scream in laughter begging for her to stop while they all laughed at him and her refusal to let up until he peed himself and they all fell over on the ground where they stood laughing hysterically. She got up and nodded happily with her work and sauntered off back up the stairs looking all too sexy and proud of herself when she tossed her hair back sexily to look over her shoulder with a smile that said they were nowhere near even yet looking back at him lying on the ground in a puddle with the front of his pajama pants all wet.

"It was Sophia too!" He called out making them all die in laughter again that he'd take his wife down with him and Sophia started bopping him on the head with little slaps as he got up.

Irina bided her time thinking of revenge and bringing Kendall, Judy and Jack in on it too as they were all sabotaged in the last attack and by April Fool's Day of the following spring they had it. The night before they'd drugged Sophia and Eric knocking them out for quite some time and then stripping them down to just their underwear knowing the children would be present this time to see it, and put them in separate rowboats without oars and pushed them into the middle of the lake.

Meantime, they set up a barbeque lakeside waiting for the other two to awaken and beginning the party festivities for their three children's birthdays on this day. It was mass hysteria when they both slowly woke up around the same time and realized they were mostly naked in a rowboat and stuck in the middle of the lake with their entire family eating barbeque and laughing at them trying to figure out a way to get back in without any oars.

After spending an hour trying to use her arms to paddle in and swearing in several languages under her breath at her husband who'd gotten them into this mess, she gave up, dove into the still cold water of early April and swam in giving up the boat and accepting defeat. She was rewarded with a blanket wrapped around her by Irina and a kiss to the cheek as well as a measly hot dog and a pat to the head.

Weiss eventually gave it up to and dove in receiving the same reward and then mocked when Mia patted him on the head in the same way she saw her GodMama Irina doing it and caused them all hours of laughter especially watching the video replay of them first waking up and then trying to paddle in. They made a mutual agreement to stop drugging after that.

* * *

_October 2015_

The family went to Egypt in a mixing of business and pleasure having a blast exploring the pyramids and laughing that Nadia, now eleven, once again attracted the slowest uncooperative animal and spent a great deal of time frustrated at her camel who was supposed to be leading her across the desert to the great pyramids and treasures of Egypt.

"Come on Alice! Why must I always get the slow animals?" She bounced in the seat trying to get the large animal to move. Alice the camel simply began to fold her enormously long legs under and lay down with Nadia jumping off and walking away into the desert sand kicking the sand and sending them into hysteria.

"Firecracker, where are you going?" Jack called out after seeing she'd abandoned her camel and was walking in the opposite direction they were all going, trying not to laugh.

"I can't get my camel to go!" She wheeled around yelling in frustration, "Animals hate me!" She kicked the sand and spun around in a huff again.

"Sweetheart!" Irina smiled with a soft laugh passing Lara who was now three and a half to Jack and then making her camel kneel down. "Nadia! Sweetheart the animals don't hate you! Nana loves you and so does your horse!" She walked quickly after her while the others tried not to laugh that the kid always seemed to get stuck with animals as stubborn as she was. "Nadia!" She called out and Nadia walked faster.

"I'm not riding that camel, Mama!" Nadia called back and gasped when her mother scooped her little body up from behind.

"You can ride mine, and I will ride yours or you can ride with me if you prefer?" Irina smiled down at her eleven year old whom she was now cradling like a baby in her arms.

"I want to ride with you…that animal hates me." Nadia sighed with one arm dangling below where her mother held her like baby and walked them back towards everyone else, "Mama… I'm not a baby…you don't have to carry me like this."

"You're wrong!" Irina laughed kissing her forehead, "You're my baby and I'll carry you and hug you like this forever!" She teased and Nadia sighed making everyone laugh.

"Are we almost there?" Nadia asked completely comfortable just hanging out in her mother's arms even if it was tremendously hot and sweaty, "I can't wait to go exploring inside the pyramids with you." She smiled.

"Yes, we're almost there and I can't wait to explore with you either." Irina smiled kissing her cheek again. "You've always been my little explorer."

"Are you going to show me the room where they used to mummify people?" Nadia asked with bright eyes having heard the stories from her brother Julian about one such treasure hunting adventure with their mother when he was her age in Egypt and they came upon the room.

"Yes," Irina laughed softly again realizing Julian must have been telling her stories again. "And I'll show you the room where they found the King's tomb as well."

"Do they put all kings and queens in tombs? Like Babushka Anya and Great Babushka Alex and Great Papa Nicolai?" Nadia asked looking up with serious eyes to her mother having visited their tombs many times.

"Not all." Irina smiled softly stopping beside her camel and looking down at Nadia to hold her just a moment longer, realizing her baby was indeed growing up way too quickly.

"Just the special ones." Nadia smiled and Irina laughed softly, kissing her face and then pulling her upright letting her child climb on the camel first and then went back to get Alice. The camel quickly jumped up following Irina and she held its reins leading it beside she and Nadia as everyone finally continued on their way.

* * *

July of 2016 brought some unexpected and explosive tension to Alexander Palace when Lena now thirteen years old, won the _Russian Track and Field Nationals_ in the 400m, the 800m and the 1500m events and qualified for the Olympic team competing in Munich once again and Irina who was one of the members of the Russian Olympic Committee told her she wasn't going to let her run…that she was too young at only thirteen and the house erupted into mass chaos shortly there after with Lena screaming at her mother in front of everyone.

"I won! I won! Why can't I do this? I earned my spot just like everyone else!" Lena screamed with raging tears across the dining room table where she'd stood rapidly after having been silent all day after Irina and Jack sat her down in the morning and told her they weren't going to let her run.

"Yes you did!" Irina answered her back trying to stay calm in the face of her angry teenage daughter having their first real fight about anything and having it be so explosive. She had never been there to fight with Sydney at this age and never fought with Julian like this and actually felt scared for the first time in feeling her daughter's burning waves of anger. "You earned your spot but you're too young!"

"I'm not too young, Mama! I can win!" Lena shouted back while everyone else at the table ceased eating and sat there quietly afraid to get up and move and make more of a scene.

"I know you can win! That's the problem!" Irina stood clenching her napkin in her fist trying to fight off tears.

_***Numb***_

"Why is that the problem?" Lena looked at her mother in utter disbelief and then numb to anything else but rage as it took over, "You don't want me to win? Is that it? You don't want me to win Gold in Munich because you didn't?"

Everyone knowing the story internally cringed feeling that deep cut and some shaking their heads softly at the giant mess this had turned into.

Irina swallowed the lump in her throat and felt the burning tears threatening to fall any second that her daughter actually believed that, "That is not what this is about and I would have been seventeen at Munich, not thirteen like you are now and that is a big difference!"

"So that's it? You're jealous because I would win at only thirteen instead of seventeen like you?" Lena was breathing fire not caring who she scorched so upset that her dream was being so easily shut down by the one person she thought understood.

"No! I'm trying to protect you! You're already in the public eye so much now and if a thirteen-year old wins the 400m, the 800m and the 1500m in the Olympics like I know you can, then you'll lose even more of your childhood and I'm trying to let you live as a normal life as you can for as long as you can!" She sighed taking a breath and trying very hard to hold back her tears, "You can run in Moscow when you're seventeen-"

"That's another four years!" Lena screamed back at her, "You've been holding me back all my life! Trying to decide what's good for me and what isn't! What is safe and what isn't! I'm sick of it Mama! I'm sick of it! You don't get to take away my dreams!" Lena's tears were streaming madly down her face and threw her napkin on the floor, "You already decided before ever asking me if I wanted to be the next Tsar and you made that choice for me! You decided the rest of my life without considering what I want because you're selfish and I'm just a 'thing' to you… your little 'Mini-Me' that you want to control and dictate everything I am!" She hiccupped on her sob with her sarcastic sneer and raged on, "I accepted the choice you made for me to be Tsar because I had to! And now I'm in that spotlight because of 'you'… but when that spotlight comes from something I want to do something I did on my own! Like running in the Olympics you won't let me! You say that's not normal but yet growing up Imperial and the future Tsar is okay? What bullshit! You have no idea what its like to grow up with so many restrictions!"

"Lena!" Jack interjected seeing this had gotten way out of hand already, "Calm down-"

"No Daddy, I will not calm down!" Lena threw her chair back when his own temper within her reared its ugly head for the first time, "She's a control freak! She has to control everything about my life all the time from where I am to what I'm doing to what I'm learning. She's so damn terrified to let me out of her sight for two minutes I can't breathe!" She cried loudly in almost a scream, "You're killing me, Mama! You're killing me! You're holding me down, and you're killing me by taking away all my dreams and all my choices."

Irina gasped in horror with her tears finally falling hearing Lena say that and then flashing back to Cuvee holding her down, taking away her choices and killing her, taking away all her dreams and now she was being compared to that monster… she was doing the same to her child she had been trying so desperately to protect.

"Lena!" Jack boomed flying up into a standing position seeing the life being sucked out of Irina the look in her eyes left the adults at the table in little wonder as to what that damning statement had done to Irina and where her mind had just gone with the blank look of horror swallowing her eyes and cutting off her soul in that one moment.

"No Daddy, its true! She's killing me with her need to control me and protect me! She's taking away my dreams just because she can!" Lena screamed back with her own face red from crying so hard and upset from having the only thing she ever wanted taken away from her and she was so blinded by rage and pain she had not noticed the change in her mother where everyone else had…but then again, they all knew what to look for knowing Irina's history as to where Lena still did not. She only knew bits and pieces and very little of the real story. "I'm sick of it and I'm sick of her and I hate you! I hate you for always holding me down and controlling my life! I hate you, Mama!"

"Lena, go to your room now!" Jack thundered loudly in anger having been somewhat sympathetic in her plight knowing she didn't know all that had happened before as she was too young to learn the horrid details but screaming that she hated her mother and that Irina was killing her was too much.

"No Daddy!" Lena cried stepping back and knocking her chair over having never in her life been yelled at by him like that and shaking now seeing his anger rolling from him in waves where he was pointing out of the room.

"Now!" Jack boomed again like thunder and made the rest of them jump and the youngest of the children start to cry, "Get to your room now! You do not talk to your mother that way!"

"You can't tell me how to feel, Daddy!" Lena screamed back. "Sending me to my room isn't going to make me stop hating her it will only make me hate you too!"

"Then hate me but not her, GO!" Jack roared again.

"Lena…" Sydney stood up cautiously with a soft voice and tears running down her face seeing her mother absolutely frozen still and the world around them all exploding.

"No Nee-Nee!" Lena backed up out of her grasp sobbing. "I hate her! She won't let me run!"

Irina couldn't take anymore…she had no idea what to do. She'd never been in a situation quite like this and seeing her presence was only escalating Lena's rage she spun on her heel and walked away.

Seeing her mother walking away only infuriated Lena further mostly out of fear that she'd gone too far but she didn't care at that moment as it was her mother who was to blame for this.

"Go to your room." Jack's voice was softer but still carried the deadly tone and was shaking with emotion trying to stay calm knowing how destructive this had just been with his daughter essentially accusing her mother of being Cuvee or at least that is the way he knew Irina had just taken it.

"No!" Lena screamed and then bolted from the room tearing through the palace and out the door running with blinding tears as hard as she could.

Jack threw his own chair back knocking it over and storming out of the room heading upstairs after Irina to try to undo some of the damage leaving everyone else to sit there in tears shaking their heads softly with some of them rubbing their temples and others looking at each other helplessly not sure what to do.

"Come on guys, keep eating." Sydney gave a soft smile to her children and other two younger siblings along with the rest of the children she knew were scared to death about witnessing the first real fight with it being mostly Lena attacking their Mama and Babushka because she was sad. They couldn't quite understand all that was going on but slowly picked up their utensils to finish eating their lunch.

"Why won't Mama let Lena run in the Olympics?" Nadia braved with tear stained cheeks that Katya leaned over and wiped softly with her fingers.

"Your Mama, doesn't want Lena to have to grow up too fast and being in the Olympics is a big deal…a lot of responsibility and a lot of attention from all of the world…not just Russia. It will make your sister grow up very quickly and your mother doesn't want her to loose what's left of her childhood. She's not trying to be mean to Lena, Sweetheart." Katya smiled softly with tears in her eyes, "She is trying to protect Lena."

"But Lena doesn't want Mama to protect her anymore!" Nadia was getting angry in her sister's defense having never in her life, seen Lena this upset. "She's tired of Mama trying to protect her all the time!"

"Your mother will always protect you whether you like it or not." Katya said resolutely, "She can't stop, its what mother's do. Too many things have happened in your mother's life, your sisters and yours." She tapped the twelve year old on the nose, "That make your mother's need to protect you very strong and you should be proud of that, not mad at it."

_***Dirty Little Secret***_

"Irina…" Jack braved coming into their bedroom and found her on the balcony watching Lena running off in the distance, away…

"Am I killing her, Jack?" Irina had her arms curled around her chest watching her daughter getting further and further away on quick legs, "Am I holding her down and taking away her choices? Controlling her life?"

"No!" Jack stepped forward instantly and wrapped her into his arms from behind.

"Yes, I am…she's right." Irina sobbed silently with a far off look in her eye and in her minds eyes she could actually see her daughter being held down against her will looking up at her with raging tears and herself in the place Cuvee used to be.

"No, she's not, Irina! She doesn't know what she's talking about …she didn't mean it she's just upset." He nuzzled his face against her head with mouth near her ear, holding her tightly.

"She hates me…" Irina gasped with new tears running down her face as Lena disappeared into the trees at the far edge of the property and out of sight. "I've taken away all her choices… she's right. We never asked her if she wanted to be Tsar…"

"Stop! Irina she doesn't hate you in fact, she loves you so much that it feels like its killing her to hear you say 'no' to something she wants so badly because she doesn't understand why you don't want it for her too, knowing you've always been her biggest supporter. She idolizes you and always has…from the time she was barely two she's always trying to be just like her Mama." He kissed her head blinking back his own tears, "She loves you and I know in her heart she wants to be the next Tsar just like you…you can see it in her eyes and the way she watches you with the people and listens to what you say about the 'why' you do everything you do…she loves going on Imperial trips with you and any other time she has with you… you're her whole world, My Love…that's why she's so upset."

"I want to let her run, Jack but-" Irina cried and he cut her off.

"I know the reasons why we decided not to let her, you don't have to explain them to me again…" Jack held her more tightly staring at the space Lena had disappeared into.

"But maybe they're not good enough…maybe she's right…maybe we are holding on too tightly," Irina held back a strangled sob, "I don't want to kill her dreams, Jack…I know what that's like and I'd rather die then have her feel like I'm killing her…"

Lena ran for hours far into the wilderness towards the mountains in a path she most often ran with her mother and blinding tears refused to stop falling until finally she had nothing left but dry burning red eyes. She glared at the black helicopter that flew overhead knowing it was probably her mother trying to stop her from running once again and was surprised when she ran up over the hill to see her sister standing there with arms folded over her chest instead.

"Get in. There are some truths I think its time you learned about why Mom is the way she is." Sydney spoke softly nodding towards the helicopter behind her having debated about this with Vaughn and Katya over the last few hours with her mother and father never returning from upstairs and finally getting her father's approval and convincing him she was the best one to do this if the mother couldn't explain as a sister and someone who struggled to understand her mother's motivations as well. When her mother wouldn't come down for dinner and sister still not home, Sydney made the move.

"What truths?" Lena huffed trying to slow her breathing and brushed a stray piece of sweaty long hair behind her ear.

In that moment her sister had never looked more like their mother to Sydney or sounded more like herself when her mother had first come back into her life.

"Truths that are so unbelievable you have to see them to believe them…to fully understand and grasp it." Sydney blinked back fresh tears not wanting to rip this part of her sister's innocence away but knowing it was going to come sooner or later.

"Like what?" Lena slanted her eyebrow at her and stretched out her legs from running for so long.

"Like how you really got this," Sydney reached out and softly trailed her finger down the pink lined scar down the center of her sister's chest that was barely there now, "And what that has to do with Mom being so protective of you and her need to control so much in her life."

"I already know how I got this," Lena blew another strand of hair out of her eyes exasperated that it seemed her sister was going to justify their mother's actions. "The bad guy who used to be Mom's boss kidnapped us and cut me when he cut my clothes off with his knife when I was a baby and then Dad, Ju-Ju, Vaughn and Uncle Eric found us and Dad killed the bad guy."

"Not quite." Sydney shook her head slowly.

"Well that's what you told me! That's what Mama and Daddy both told me too! Are you all lying about that as well?" Lena felt new tears coming on with new anger.

"We have never lied to you so I have no idea what you're accusing us of lying about in your 'as well' but no that is not all of the truth." Sydney put her hair behind her ear a bit perturbed at her little sister but trying not to get angry realizing this was all coming off of a very emotional conversation. "That is the truth in part, yes…and we've never told you the rest or Nicolai or Nadia or any of the children as you're not old enough to learn how harsh this truth really is. We've been trying to protect you from it for as long as we could but I think you're old enough now to learn it."

"There you go again with your damn need to protect me! I'm sick of everyone trying to protect me!" Lena put her hands on her hips in a moment of teenage rebellion that made Sydney feel like she was staring at her younger self.

"Then let's go…" Sydney held her hand out pointing the way and feeling her anger simmering but trying to stay calm and wondering if she had been this difficult as well, "Let's go see the truth you so adamantly want to know and then we'll see what you think of the choices we made after."

"What do you mean 'see?" Lena asked her jumping into the helicopter more then a bit curious and actually anxious now, scared of how 'big' it all was that everyone had been so adamant about keeping her 'protected' from it.

"I mean you and I are going to sit down for the next twelve hours straight and the watch the films and you're going to learn one cold hard truth after another about Mom and Dad and myself and even you…and its going to hurt," Sydney wiped at her tears having not sat down to watch these films since they saw them in the theatre, the last time being the night her mother almost lost her life and the twins in St. Petersburg twelve years ago, "But this is the only way you're going to understand…and I'm going to say I'm sorry ahead of time for what you're going to see."

"Only me?" Lena asked swallowing hard having never before seen the films locked away in the vault in their house only hearing about them on occasion and usually only snippets from other people about the 'fabulous' or 'moving' films made over a decade ago about her parents' life that she was not allowed to see until she was 'older.' The same with reading the book…

She never really cared much after that, figuring she'd see them someday and knew a lot of what was in them already. Her Mama was a spy sent to marry her Daddy during the Cold War, after eleven years the KGB made her come back to Russia and a couple of years after that she took in Julian when his birth mother died, they moved all around the world doing dangerous missions, she really didn't know what, and then met up again with her sister and father when her mother turned herself into the CIA, then escaped and met up again with them after a few months in St. Petersburg after her Daddy found out her Mama was pregnant with her.

Soon after everyone found out she was the daughter of the Imperial family and the country voted them to be a monarchy again and because Sydney was born and raised an American and an American spy at one time, they decided that the title of Tsarevicha should fall to her, because she would be raised mostly in Russia and wouldn't have to take over for quite some time as her mother was going to be ruling for a while.

"Yes, only you. The others aren't old enough to learn what you are about to." Sydney wiped at her eyes, "If you're mature enough to want to run in the Olympics and make your own decision there, and you're mature enough to speak to Mom that way believing in what you know to be the truth then I think you are mature enough to learn the truth… all of it." Her eyes were locked onto her sister's, "This is where being your older sister, teaching you things you never knew, really is shit for the both of us." She sniffled with a sarcastic laugh trying to hold back more tears. "Sad thing is, I finally understand what Mom and Dad were doing to me all those years and I hated it just like you are now. Trying to protect me, keep the truth from me but I can see their side of it now." Her eyes never wavered from her sister's that looked just like their mothers, "You're never the same once you learn the truth about what happened to Mom and why she is, the way she is because of what she's been through. You will never be able to look at her in the same way again." And Sydney knew, that was exactly what her mother was afraid of, seeing the horror of what happened to her reflected back in her children's eyes as they looked at her after learning the truth.

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat with a sudden rush of fear and widening eyes.

"What do you mean, _the truth about what happened to Mom?_ What happened to Mama, Nee-Nee?" She asked in a much quieter voice still tinged with anger that they'd all lied to her and kept this from her, whatever this big dark secret was concerning her mother.

"I was twenty-six years old when I learned the first part of what I _thought_ was the truth about Mom, and twenty-seven when I learned that, '_that_'… was hardly the whole truth at all. Mom always said, _truth takes time_ and it drove me nuts then but I understand now, why she had to dole it out in small bits. It was as much to save her sanity and heart, as it was to save mine. You're only thirteen and it rocked my world so I can only imagine what it's going to do with yours." She sniffled reaching over and taking Lena's hands into hers, "We never lied to you, Lena… we just delayed the truth as long as we could. I'm sorry that today is the day… because there is no way to prepare you for what you're about to see and learn."


	48. Chapter 48

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Time **_**by Hans Zimmer from Inception Soundtrack, A Small Measure of Peace, _Where Are We Runnin?_ by Lenny Kravitz, _Girl on Fire_ by Alicia Keys, _Beautiful_ by Snoop Dog featuring Pharrel, _The Mummer's Dance_ by Loreena Mckennitt, _The First Kiss_ by George Fenton from Ever After Soundtrack, _The Balcony Scene_ by Craig Armstrong from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack. **

* * *

FORTY-EIGHT

o

Lena was practically shaking from nerves when she got home, everyone else was conspicuously absent, in bed already, had gone out or in their own parts of the palace. She quickly took a shower, changed into some comfortable yoga pants and a t-shirt preparing for the long haul of twelve hours of movie watching and headed out, pausing by the door and then spinning around to grab Mr. Yellow Bear from her bed that she still slept with every night. "Come on, Nana." She whispered softly to her giant companion and the dog quickly followed her out.

She gulped when Sydney locked the door behind her to the theatre and flipped the switch on the security camera to turn them off as well, not wanting one of the younger ones to stumble into the kitchen and 'see' what they were watching in the theatre.

Sydney had retrieved the disks from the wall vault and put the first one in, preparing herself to see all of this again and grabbed a cup of tea from the cart that had tea, juices, water, soda, snacks and other things to eat during their long hours of movie watching.

Lena settled in with Sydney beside her on one side of the sofa and Nana on the other, her hand petting the dog with small circle on her head to ward of the nervousness she felt.

Sydney paused with her hand on the remote, turning her head to the side and studying Lena's face for a long moment with a pensive look before tears slowly filled her eyes.

Lena shifted uncomfortably under her stare. "What?" She finally asked, "Why are you looking at me that way?" She asked with a hint of anger and angst mixed in with anxiousness at the way her big sister was staring at her.

"I just wanted to look at you and try to commit this moment to memory. The way you look right now." Sydney answered quietly and a single tear slipped down her cheek. She sighed deeply looking away before reaching up to brush the tear with the backs of her fingers.

"Why?" Lena asked feeling her voice catch in the back of her throat at her sister's odd behavior.

"Because a large part of your innocence is about to be stripped away." Sydney answered her feeling more tears welling and blinking them back as her eyes found her little sister's again. "And I want to remember what your eyes looked like before that happens. They'll never be the same again." She added quietly and looked away.

Lena swallowed hard still staring at Sydney and feeling the sense of foreboding return. She couldn't imagine what was so horrendous in the truth of their mother's past, her family's past, that would have Sydney wanting to memorize the way her eyes looked telling her they'd never be the same again. Lena was starting to have second thoughts about wanting to see this, wanting to know this truth her family kept from her, if it was going to change everything in the way she saw her world but at the same time, it only flamed the her desire to know more.

To know the truth; all of it. That they were finally treating her more like an adult rather than a child by showing her this and she was sure, she was ready and capable of handling whatever this truth was. She couldn't imagine any 'truth' out there that would possibly change or explain or justify her views on how unfair her mother and father were being. How controlling they were and how oppressed she was feeling with her mother's obsessive need to protect her all the time or justify her mother's refusal to let her run in the Olympics claiming it was for reasons of protecting her.

Sydney pushed play and they sat in silence as the film began.

Lena felt herself smirking at first to see her mother running and winning the Soviet Nationals and then lost her smirk to see how devastated her mother had been to be pulled from the Olympic team. How she wouldn't eat or sleep for weeks, and Lena waged a war within herself if she was right about her mother not wanting her to run because she was jealous…because she was never able to and then watching as her mother was pulled into the KGB instead and hearing the reasons they wouldn't let her mother run, that she was a 'secret Romanov' they didn't want the world to know about…she began to realize her mother did know what it felt like growing up so restricted but that only confused her more then, as to why if her mother knew how it felt like, she could do something to her in the same way? Why did her mother feel such a need to hold her close instead of letting her be 'free?'

"That's him?" She asked when Cuvee made his first appearance, "That's the guy who cut me, burned your foot and shot Mama?" She'd seen those scars and knew that much when she'd asked when she was little how her mother and sister got such scars.

"Yes." Sydney answered quietly and all the explanation she was willing to give at the moment, as it would be explained in time.

"Mama lost her virginity to Uncle Mikhail? She slept with him?" Her eyes went absolutely wide with that knowledge and in disbelief talking more to herself aloud then Sydney. 'Good Lord!' she thought to herself, talk about family secrets! But then she realized, this wasn't really a family secret as the entire grown up world had seen these films and knew all this information.

She laughed and cried right along with Sydney watching the first part of the film and then turned to horrified sobbing in silence seeing her grandmother being executed because her mother didn't want to leave Sydney and their father and seeing her saying goodbye to her sister was extremely hard to watch and then to see her mother's extraction, into the river and how she was tossed into a cell on ship and then submarine to keep her 'prisoner' with horror in her heart to know her mother was pregnant with her baby brother Jack who was lost and to this day, Lena still didn't know 'how' he was, only that he was born too soon.

**_*Time*_**

She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was about to learn that as well in what her sister had described '_cold hard truth_' and when they took her mother to prison something she'd never ever known about, she couldn't stop the flow of tears or the feeling of terror watching them drag her beaten form down the long aisle of screaming crazy prisoners who were mostly men and hear what that bad man Cuvee was saying and then watching them torture her mother was all she could stand and started sobbing.

"Oh God, Nee-Nee!" She cried shifting all around uncomfortably in her seat and Sydney was crying with her. She slid over the sofa pulling Lena into her lap and wrapping her arms around her shoulders from behind, pressing her cheek to her sisters head holding on to them both for comfort. The screaming of '_No_' and then the violent fists and kicks as they beat her brother out of her mother had her sobbing and trembling, shaking her head that this just couldn't be _real_… people weren't this cruel and then to actually see her mother being crucified on a cross and left there to let the 'sins' she had committed bleed from her body. Watching her mother delivering her brother and then the insane horror of them ripping him from her arms and making her watch when they threw him into the incinerator had her mouth open in a silent scream.

"What are they doing? What are they doing? _What are they doing?!"_ Lena chanted over and over in a panicked frenzy knowing what was coming and terrified in disbelief watching the first guard cutting her mother's prison clothes from her body while she was chained down and then screamed in an anguished cry and raining tears to see the first gang rape of her mother, 'being held down' and 'without control' screaming and crying for her father to save her and knowing he couldn't. Hearing her mother screaming one final time, her father's name as the first man raped her, ripped through Lena's heart and soul with unimaginable pain and her own words coming back to haunt her already, her mind trying to flash back to gauge her mother's reaction when she'd accused her of holding her down with her need to control her earlier in the day and only then, did she 'see' the look in her mother's eyes and the shut down she had missed before her mother walked away, rewinding in her mind once more and taking notice of everyone else's reactions to what she was saying who knew this 'truth' and horrified she had said it and angry that no one told her before she said such cruel things.

"Why didn't you tell me? _Oh God!_" She screamed in anger and tears unable to tear her gaze away from the screen and horrified she'd ever spoken to her mother in such a way, accused her of such things now knowing the truth.

Sydney didn't answer the question. She knew that Lena was more angry at herself than with any of them. Instead, she held Lena more tightly as her little sister sobbed watching the rest of the horrors of Kashmir.

The private torture and knowledge of rapes in the thousands and pregnancies where they kicked her mother down the stairs and her attempt to escape and solitary had stolen Lena's heart beat and she felt like she was dying, feeling this pain with her mother and holding tightly to Sydney's arms around her while they both continued to sob. Lena at seeing what her mother endured for the first time and Sydney crying not only for what her mother had been through but mostly now, at seeing her sister's reaction to the truth. To see her heartbreaking before her eyes and hear it in her cries was devastating. The innocence in her soul being stripped away with every horrendous act committed against their mother on the screen.

"She had no control… they took it all." Lena sobbed through her hiccups realizing it all now, why their mother was the way she was with them.

"Yes…" Sydney cried with her, stroking her hand over the top of her sister's head watching her mother emerge from solitary looking like a victim of the Holocaust. "And they kept taking it."

One after another, hour after hour the truths of her mother and her family were revealed and Lena felt like she couldn't breathe through every moment watching the heartbreak they all went through but especially her mother and seeing her in a way she never had before. Seeing how it was, she became the woman she loved and respected so much, admired so much and wanted to be just like and it was because she'd experienced so much that she had learned such a great deal. Lena cried until she had no tears and another hour would pass and they'd replenish and come back and repeat all over again.

The attempts on Irina's life and the estrangement between her aunt her mother she never knew about really… She cried watching her parents getting back together and her conception not at all ashamed or uncomfortable and more in awe that it was 'this' her conception she'd been hearing all about and teased about that had really been so beautiful that gave her the family she had today.

Before seeing this she really had no idea what her parents had gone through to actually _be_ _together_, and the way they never wanted to be apart now made all the more sense after being forced apart for so long. As the film kept going, she was once again horrified to see Cuvee stab and shoot her mother and then left gasping in disbelief to see her father actually shoot her mother while she was pregnant with her, even if he did so unknowing so at the time, he had actually shot her mother trying to kill her. Something unfathomable to Lena given how insanely protective her father was of her mother, how in love they were and how he doted on her mother in every way. Seeing what it took to save her mother's life that night…she couldn't stop crying or gasping for breathe seeing how close she'd actually come to dying. Then watching her very pregnant mother kidnapped, the man going to steal herself from her mother's womb to sell on the Black Market and then shooting her mother while unconscious on the operating table, Lena sat with wide eyes of disbelief and horror unable to comprehend how she could not have known so much but feeling it so very deep within her.

The chats her mother had with her when she was such a tiny newborn baby and then being horridly put to her death by Lethal Injection in a scene that had her screaming in tears and jumping with every jolt of her mother's body, reacting the same way Sydney was onscreen and feeling like she was going to pass out until they brought her back. The nightmares that continued to haunt her mother, the world finding out about who she was and then 'seeing' what had happened to her and its devastating effect.

Everything that happened with the unbelievable Prophecy Baby… a sister in reality who would have brought terrible evil into the world in a mind boggling way and then the horror watching she and her mother being kidnapped… and the blood spatters on Mr. Yellow Bear she held clutched tightly in her hand and looked at now with a slanted eyebrow not understanding how he could have possibly been salvaged covered in her mother's blood trying to protect her from the glass and bullets… _trying to protect her…_

Sydney held her sister more tightly just before the scenes began of Cuvee alone with her mother and she and his disgusting cruelty of keeping her mother chained and then taking her away and letting her scream just out of their mother's reach. She kept trying to get to her with shackles digging into bloody bone and crying unable to reach her and tearing Lena apart to watch now. The choice her mother was forced to make after the maniac cut her and broke her bones and seeing the shear torture it was on her mother to be told they were leaving Lena behind to die and be eaten by rats… Her fear of rats suddenly became clear and her heart pounded watching them biting her until her father rescued her but the mass devastation that had been done, the blood everywhere from her mother trying to reach her and the close call it was that she herself just a tiny baby almost died.

Seeing what happened in Kashmir the second time, seeing what her mother had done and gone through to protect her older sister had her shaking uncontrollably and sobbing curled into a ball in Sydney's arms to see their being electrocuted to death and raped and then electrocuted and finally saying goodbye to Sydney with a smile believing he was going to kill her.

Watching as the man slowly destroyed her mother while holding her down, killing her… was an agony she never felt before and had never been more proud of her father then when he came flying into the room and saved her mother. She cried with a soft smile and laugh with Sydney to see her mother so determined to see her upon awakening from her coma that she snuck out of her room and wept upon holding her for the first time again, chest to chest and nursed her in spite of the horrendous damage done to her own body.

The struggle that they went through after in surviving and her mother's guilt at not being able to stop it from happening, not being able to protect them even though she had no way to and then finally making peace with it and moving forward with the love of her family, ending with the Coronation and from there, Sydney filled her in a bit more on what happened with almost losing the twins and their mother in their birth and then when she was kidnapped with Nadia, the parts she didn't know or couldn't remember and most importantly their mother's reaction and how this all leads into why she is so protective and wanting only the best for her children.

**_*A Small Measure of Peace*_**

"And I basically told her that she was the same as that monster..." Lena sat back sobbing and wiping at her raw eyes thirteen hours later and completely exhausted, "I told her she was killing me, that she was holding me down and that she jealous and cruel! I told her I hated her over and over, God! Nee-Nee! She must hate me!" Lena sobbed and Sydney threw her arms around her immediately.

"She doesn't hate you! She could never hate you! I've said some horrible things in my life time to her too… before I knew the truth that she would do anything for us… anything and that is why I will never ever again question her love for me or what she says is in my best interests." Sydney cried softly holding her sister tightly.

"I won't either ever again! I'm so sorry, Nee-Nee!" Lena sobbed unable to stop and hiccupped.

"I know you are and I know you didn't mean the things you said to her… but you've got to talk to her, Lena," Sydney rocked with her softly, "You've got to tell her how you really feel because the one pain Mom can't stand is to have us in pain and not be able to stop it and worse… if she thinks she caused it."

"And I told her she did! I told her she was killing me! Oh my God, I'm horrible! The first time she tells me no and I tell her I hate her!" Lena was gasping for breath in between her sobs, "I'm the worst daughter ever."

"No you're not," Sydney cried and laughed softly pulling back to cup her sister's tear stained face with a runny nose, "I felt the same way after I said some really horrible stuff to her but Mom won't care about that…any of it as long as you hold her and tell her you love her and that you're okay… I know why you want to run and I want you to run too… so does Mom," She thumbed away her sister's tears with a smile, "It wasn't a choice that she and Dad made lightly for exactly the reasons you said, she had her chance taken from her too…so you have to know now, that if she's saying 'no' its because she really does think its for your best interests. She would never ever try to hold you back, Lena… never. But she will protect you at all costs… you have to know that now."

"I do." Lena nodded with her face contorting into another sob.

"Then go tell her." Sydney nodded at her with a smile, holding back her own sob and then pulling her in tightly for another hug, kissing her head, "I love you, Lena… forever and always and I'm so happy that you're my sister."

"I love you too, Nee-Nee and I think you're the best big sister there is!" Lena smiled through her tears and kissed her back, clutching Mr. Yellow Bear and heading for the door.

Irina was sitting in the middle of the edge of her bed looking out the open balcony doors at the midday sun thinking about what her daughter must be seeing now, knowing that they were watching the films as Jack had told her just an hour ago that Sydney had taken it upon herself with his agreement, that it was time Lena learned the truth. She had wanted to be the one who sat her down some day just as her mother had done with her at thirteen and explained about what happened in the massacre of her family, but with the explosive blowout preceding all this it didn't work out that way.

She couldn't just go down there and walk into the middle of it so instead, she sat on her bed staring out the window in a spot not moving for hours and not having left her room since the explosive argument. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks thinking about what Lena had said, the look in her eyes and the venom in her voice. The feel in both of their hearts so intimately entwined, breaking together because of each other for the first time…

Lena had torn up the stairs two at a time flying past her father and aunt and several others standing in another doorway going into the living room and not seeing them at all with blinding tears and purpose to reach her mother as quickly as possible. She pulled herself up to a stop and tried to take a calming breath and stop her raging tears before carefully opening the door and not making a sound to her mother's bedroom. She saw her mother's back facing her and the stillness with which she sat and her heart was breaking that 'she did this' to her.

"Mama…" Lena called out with a crackled voice and Irina whipped her head back turning her body to look at Lena in the doorway. They stared at each other through the blinding tears for just a moment before Lena started sobbing and ran towards the bed and Irina turned towards her fully, Lena leaping up onto the bed and over to her, throwing herself onto her mother and knocking Irina back into the pillows, lying on her chest and sobbing in to her neck. "I'm so sorry, Mama… I didn't mean it! I don't hate you at all… I love you so much!"

"Shhh, its okay, I love you, too, Sweetheart and I'm sorry…" Irina cried holding her tightly against her chest, with their hearts pounding rapidly against each other. The innocence was gone from Lena's eyes and she cried even harder holding her baby girl to her chest knowing that the most innocent parts of her childhood were now gone.

"I don't care about running in the Olympics and I won't run ever again if you don't want me to, Mama! I'm sorry for everything I said I didn't mean it!" Lena sobbed with raining tears falling down her mother's neck and wetting her hair, one hand cupped to the side of Irina's neck as she buried her face in shame. "I won't ever doubt you love me ever ever again I promise! I know you mean it now… you really mean it when you say to the moon and back," She hiccupped taking in a breath between her rapid sobbing ramble, "more than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth."

"Forever and always…" Irina held her tightly speaking in a quiet tone with her own tears falling madly. "I want you to run baby, I want you to run as much as you want to and I don't want to ever take away your dreams… because I know what that feels like… I'm scared for you with so much exposure already… you're still my baby and you're my heart out there and exposed in the world and I'm sorry if you feel like I'm smothering you and killing you by holding on too tightly… I'm just afraid to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me, Mama." Lena murmured against her neck with a sob, "And you're not killing me or smothering me and I understand now why you want to protect me so much I do…and I'm sorry for saying those things, Mama I didn't mean them I didn't! I love you so much, Mama and I'm sorry I hurt you I don't want to make you cry!"

"And I don't want to make you cry," Irina kissed her with her own held back sob, "I'm sorry I hurt you, too… I never ever want to hurt you."

"You're so brave and strong, Mama…" Lena was shaking in her crying and trembling in a way she hadn't in a long time and it was breaking Irina's heart to feel it. "I can't believe you went through all of that…what they did to you-"

"Shhhh," Irina cut her off with a soothing whisper into her ear, "Let's not get into that now…I promise I'll answer any questions you have about what you saw but right now I just want to hold you tightly in my arms."

"Okay," Lena hiccupped trying to stop herself from crying, "My heart needs some refueling, too." She added and smiled when she felt her mother laugh softly beneath her at the reminder from long ago. The term had stuck whenever either of them hugged or held each other.

Lena fell asleep lying on top of Irina and it wasn't long after that Irina joined her, both exhausted from not sleeping at all the night before and the emotional havoc that had been wreaked on both.

Jack found them like that some six hours later when he came to check on them and smiled dropping a kiss to both of their heads gently, with Lena's on Irina's chest listening to her heart beat, her hand palming Irina's neck and Irina's arms wrapped securely around her. He covered them with a blanket and left quietly shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Irina awoke before Lena and gently caressed the hair over her daughter's ear with one hand feeling her heart beating through Lena's back with the other. Her beat as in sync with her own… she smiled when she felt Lena wake up but stay still against her though her fingers started drumming softly against her neck and then absently started tracing the circular bullet scar on her chest from where Cuvee had shot her, something she had done often before but now she knew how it got there.

"Are you okay?" Irina asked her softly.

"Yes," Lena sighed and snuggled her face in against Irina's skin in the V-neck of her shirt, "I love the way you smell…" she smiled softly and Irina chuckled.

"And how is it that I smell?" She asked with a smile, remembering telling her mother something similar at one point and also remembering her answer.

"Like Mama…" Lena answered with a smile while Irina mouthed the words knowing the answer as it had been her own and smiled.

"Lena," Irina sighed taking a deep breath and braving the question, "Do you really not want to be the next Tsar?" She asked softly still fingering softly over her hair.

"No," Lena answered softly and Irina's heart sunk with tears building in her eyes, "I don't mean 'no' I don't want to be the next Tsar I mean, 'no' I didn't mean that either… I do. I want to…I've always wanted to." She spoke just as softly with a smile in her voice and Irina's tears turned to joy, "I have always wanted to be just like you…I love watching you work and with the people…you're job is very important and I am proud…scared…really scared…but proud that you think I can be a good Tsar too. I'm just scared I'm going to fail and you'll be disappointed in me."

"Have I ever been disappointed in you?" Irina turned her face with gentle hands to force Lena to look her in the eye.

"No…" Lena answered shyly.

"I will never be disappointed in you… ever." Irina smiled with tears in her eyes, "And you're not going to fail, Sweetheart… you're amazing… and its already inside you… the power to do this," she moved her fingers down to point and tap against Lena's chest, "Is in your heart."

"But you're so good at it." Lena smiled her own teary smile, "What if the people hate me?"

"They won't hate you!" Irina laughed softly, kissing her face, "They already love you. Since you were very little, and people would watch you with other children… everyone has said to me how much they love you and how proud they are that one day you'll be the Tsar, too. They already believe in you because they see what I do… strength, courage, honor, compassion, honesty, faith, sincerity, trust, humility, duty, loyalty, love… so many things… but Lena if you don't want to, its okay to tell me… I'm still going to love you the same, that is unchanging." Her dark eyes looked into her own in the face of her child.

"I do, want to do it, Mama… if you believe in me, I know I can." Lena smiled against the hands that held her face.

"Okay… but if you change your mind, I want you to tell me, alright?" Irina asked with a teary smile thumbing away her daughter's tears.

"I won't change my mind. I've never changed my mind." Lena smiled again fingering her locket.

"Speaking of things I know you can do," Irina continued to speak softly and hold her daughter's gaze, "I know you can not only run… but you can win… and if you really want to do this… I will be right there with you, supporting you anyway I can and so will your father. We love you so much… we just want what is best for you."

"No, Mama its okay. You don't want me to run, it's okay. I accept it." Lena looked down and fingered her mother's locket covered with glittering stones. "I had my reasons for wanting to run but they're not important as what you think to me… so, it doesn't matter. I can wait another four years if that is what you want."

Irina looked at her face, studying her intently as she looked down at her locket and fingered it with her scar knowing why she was so agreeable now when she had fought so hard before and it broke her heart to think her daughter was caving that fighting drive for what she really wanted that she'd gotten from herself, because of what she'd seen…so fresh in her mind.

"Lena, look at me please," Irina brushed her fingers under her daughter's chin, "I want you to answer me with the honest truth…straight answer and not what you think I want to hear… okay?" Lena nodded swallowing hard, "Do you want to run in Munich?"

Lena stayed silent for a moment staring at her mother and then nodded slowly against her hands on her face, "Yes. I want to run in Munich."

"Then let's compromise… because I don't want to kill your dreams," Irina inhaled a shaking breath and smiled, "Which event do you really want to run the most?"

"The 1500m…" Lena's eyes sparkled with hopeful tears speaking in a whisper. "It's my favorite."

"It was mine too." Irina smiled and wiped at her daughter's falling tears neglecting her own.

"I know." Lena smiled mischievously with her own watering eyes.

"Okay then. The compromise is… I'll let you run the 1500m… and only the 1500m… because you are only thirteen… and in Moscow in four years… I won't hold you back from anything you want to do… deal?" She smiled softly.

"Deal!" Lena smiled widely and then attacked Irina with kisses, hugging her and squeezing the life out of her. "Thank you, Mama! Thank you, thank you thank you! I won't forget this! I won't I won't I won't!"

"You're welcome!" Irina kissed her with a laugh to hear her so excited, "Now let's get some dinner and get to bed at a decent hour so you can run with me early tomorrow before I have to go to Moscow for my meeting, okay?"

"Okay coach!" Lena smiled saluting her, as the only coach she ever had was her mother who simply ran beside her and taught in her silent ways as she always did without her mother even aware she was teaching her as it was usually Lena watching and listening intently mimicking her mother to learn the things that weren't directly taught.

"No! Don't call me that!" Irina smiled pulling Lena up off the bed.

"How about Coach Mama? Is that better?" Lena teased her knowing why her mother didn't like the new nickname she loved 'Mama.'

"How about Mama? What's wrong with that? It's worked just fine for thirteen years." Irina wrapped her arms around Lena's shoulders from behind kissing her head and nudging her forward as they walked laughing softly towards the door.

"Okay Irina," Lena snickered knowing the reaction her mother would have to that, having never called her by her name before.

Irina gasped in mock horror and gave Lena's smirk a pouted lip look of sadness that had Lena laughing out loud.

"Okay, okay… I'm sorry," Lena kissed her cheek softly, "I won't tease you anymore, Mama. Besides I'm very proud I get to call you my Mama." She added softly meaning that now more than ever.

"Not nearly as much as I am, to call _you_ my daughter," Irina smiled with tears in her eyes and peppered Lena's face with kisses holding herself back from crying and then hugging her tightly. "I love you, Snuggle Bug."

"I love you, Mama."

"To the moon and back…" Irina smiled pulling back and wiping at her tears.

"More than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth," Lena smiled finishing her part and kissing her mother's lips, cupping her face and brushing her nose with Irina's as she finished.

"Forever and always…" Irina smiled kissing her once more quickly.

* * *

_Munich, Germany - August 2016 - Summer Olympics_

**_*Olympics Theme Song*_**

"Here they come!" Sydney pointed from their box seats in the massive stadium in Munich watching the parade of athletes and seeing the Imperial Russian team entering the stadium.

The crowd went into a loud roar when the camera zoomed in on Lena who was nominated by the athletes of the Russian team to carry the flag of Imperial Russia only making sense to them and so very proud to have her on the team. They'd all taken it personally in protecting the youngest member of their team and all were like brothers and sisters looking out for her and making sure she wasn't harmed in anyway. She was too tiny to carry the heavy flag alone and ended up sitting on the shoulders of the Russian Weightlifter who held most of the flag while Lena held on to the flag pole above him and waved excitedly to everyone looking for her parents.

"She's so cute!" Sydney couldn't stop cooing in tears to see her littler sister in the official Russian team shirt and pants, looking so very tiny especially when on the weightlifting giant's shoulders walking into the stadium. "She's looking for us!" She could tell by the way her sister's eyes were wildly scanning the section she knew they'd be in knowing it had to be sectioned off by security as always. Lena's guards were under the disguise of Russian athletes standing close beside and behind her walking in and keeping their eyes peeled.

"Mama!" Lena screamed seeing her mother and blowing rapid kisses that were being flown around the stadium on the jumbo-tron screens with excited flashes popping everywhere.

Irina couldn't stop crying blowing her kisses back in disbelief this was actually happening, "She's so excited…" She wiped at her eyes seeing her little girl who wasn't so little anymore at thirteen having so much fun and waving to everyone in the stadium. Lena was a surprise last minute entry to most of the world and done so on purpose for security reasons as well as to keep the chaos from erupting too soon.

Everyone was there from the Putins to the Bushs, to the Petersons and the beautiful Swedish actress Lena and the Swedish Royal Family who were there to support their few athletes as they mainly dominated in the Winter Olympics and terribly excited to cheer for Lena along with everyone else.

Irina and Jack both agreed not to let the reporters anywhere near Lena until after she was done with her event and marked down as her official coaches, Irina and Sydney were sleeping in the Olympic Village with her.

The lighting of the flame was terribly exciting as was the performances of the Opening Ceremonies and when they were over they met Lena underneath the stadium in a secure area held back with security.

Lena was talking to another younger athlete, a swimmer who was seventeen and two Russian gymnasts who were both fifteen when she saw her family walking towards her with her mother leading the way. "Excuse me…" She apologized to her new friends mid-sentence and took off running at full sprint into Irina's arms who scooped her up against her chest immediately and held her tightly, neither saying anything just holding each other with silent tears.

"Thank you, Mama." Lena kissed her cheek so happy to be here.

Lena tapped on the bedroom door where Sydney and her mother were sharing a bed in their own little village apartment, giving Lena her own room but now in the middle of the night, here she stood chewing on her lip.

"Yes, Sweetheart… what's wrong?" Irina sat up quickly as did Sydney.

"Can I sleep with you guys? I'm all by myself in there." Lena whispered shifting nervously.

"Of course, Sweetheart! Get in here!" Irina laughed softly and patted the space in between she and Sydney. Lena wasted no time launching herself into the space with a giggle.

"No wait!" Lena jumped up and over Irina landing on her knees on the other side of her mother laughing, "We have to share you. Let's sandwich her, Nee-Nee!" She giggled looking over to her sister who laughed with her and immediately moved in, sandwiching Irina between them and then draping their arms over her and holding softly to each other's arms while they both buried their faces into Irina's neck and hair.

They said their goodnights once again and then laughed when ten minutes later Lena whispered against Irina's throat, "I can't sleep I'm too excited."

"I can't either to be honest… for the same reason." Sydney admitted with a soft laugh and then tickled her sister's side making her squirm. "How about you, Mom?"

"I can't either." Irina sighed, "How about we go for a run now instead of in the morning… that way no one will be expecting it and we can head downtown in the Village and get some ice cream and then run back and sleep in?"

"I'm in!" "I'm in!" Both girls laughed and kissed her cheeks flinging off her and flying around to get into their running clothes.

They ran down to the ice cream place in what was to become a nightly ritual for the duration of the two-week games. Lena didn't have to run her pre-trial for a qualifying time until the middle of the week and so they spent the first few days with the rest of their family going around and supporting the other athletes of the Russian team who were all thrilled to see the Imperial family in the stands cheering them on. Nadia was completely enamored watching the gymnastics competition again and wishing she was old enough to be out there now and Nicholas was starting to think the same watching the pool activity.

When it came time for her qualifying run everyone had been buzzing about never seeing the young Tsarevicha on the track practicing or doing any kind of warm-up and what they were expecting to see from those who had never seen her run only talked about her wins at the Russian Nationals.

Irina finished putting her number on Lena and gave her the once over waiting for Lena to finish tying her shoes before hugging her with tear filled eyes. "I'm so proud of you. I love you."

"I love you too, Mama." Lena kissed her and hugged her once more with her own tears in her eyes. "Pre-qual strategy: Pace it on the first one, kicked it up in the second, blow them away in the third and fly home on the fourth." She smiled reciting her plan of attack on how she'd do the laps, confirming what she already knew by heart.

"I believe in you." Irina smiled and kissed her forehead. "Now… let's get you out there."

"Here goes everything…" Sydney smiled at her mother with the other coaches waiting on the inside of the track by the finish line with the thunderous crowd around them roaring for the start of the race. The 1500m being one of the most celebrated events in the Athletics division of the Olympics and all the Olympic sports combined always drawing a massive crowd even in pre-quals.

_***Where Are We Runnin'***_

"And they're off!" Kendall smiled with nervousness watching Lena's tiny little form amongst all the other runners and trying to keep track of her red uniform and dark hair in a loose pony tail and then finding her again when they spaced out and she pulled to the outside where most runners avoided as it added extra distance.

"Ok, so she's pacing herself," Weiss felt like he was going to throw up so nervous watching his Goddaughter in the throngs of so many older and more experienced runners in competitions and worried they might try to clobber their little but mighty competition in the unknown Tsarevicha.

Lena was hanging way in the back of the pack as the last runner, drafting off of them and saving her energy though 1500m to her was rather short considering the distances she ran with her mother now.

"Second lap she's going to kick it up," Jack whispered breathless watching his little girl and sure enough she started moving forward inch by inch taking more then a few elbows to her ribs that made him want to rip the other runners' arms off and beat them with them for touching her. He realized that wasn't exactly a rational thought but he didn't care when it came to his babies.

"There she goes!" Vaughn smiled cheering loudly with the rest of the stadium watching Lena fly past the leader in the start of the third lap and sprint as hard as she could putting massive distance between she and them at the burnout pace that some kept close to trying not to let her get too far ahead and burn themselves out, realizing this was just a pre-qual but time did matter. The fans were screaming and jumping wildly in their seats when she flew by the start of the fourth lap winking at her mother and Sydney making them shake their heads with smiles and fly around the track a half lap faster then everyone else, crossing the finish line and jumping on Irina, wrapping her sweaty arms and legs around her kissing her cheek and laughing.

"They elbowed me, Mama!" Lena whispered with a soft laugh in her ear having not expected that.

"Did you elbow them back?" Sydney laughed handing her a bottle of water and putting a towel around her shoulders when she slowly let her feet touch the ground again, kissing her sister and hugging her next.

"Nee-Nee, are you suggesting I hit someone?" Lena asked in disbelief. "What happened to playing nice and by the rules?"

It wasn't long after she clocked in the fastest qualifying time that she became the heavy favorite and most talked about athlete of the games with everyone clamoring to get seats to the final race in four days. It had gotten out somehow that day that 'The Romanovs' were running at night for practice… and to get ice cream and suddenly there were people camped out everywhere, other athletes from other countries included to see her run with Irina and Sydney knowing they'd likely never get another chance to see the three of them in real life as they'd only been captured running in a few shots over the last few years. Now they were getting cheered on to get ice cream and Lena's eyebrows shot up at the surreal experience.

"Why are they cheering us on to get ice cream?" Lena asked her mother and sister quietly out of the side of her mouth as they ran towards the ice cream parlor open all hours.

"They're just cheering to see you run." Sydney laughed softly, "I guess seeing that we're running to get ice cream makes us more human then most athletes who would be running away from the stuff. They feel like they can relate, I don't know…"

* * *

_***Girl on Fire***_

When the night of the race came everyone had expected the same from Lena, pace herself at the beginning, kick it up in the second, blow by them in the third and fly by in the forth and the runners all adjusted their running to this pace after watching her pre-qualifying run over and over on film for the last few days and so it came as a complete surprise to everyone, except those who knew how she ran, mainly her family, that from the sound of the gun she was sprinting hard and fast with all her might and flew by everyone before the first turn was complete on the outside and then cut in to the inside when she was ahead of them.

The wild thundering roar of the stadium was absolutely deafening and had some, especially the children, holding their hands over their ears from everyone cheering for her and all knew they were witnessing history seeing her so far a head of the others blowing them away by at least a forty-five second time difference in finish times.

"Go baby! _Go, go, go!"_ Jack chanted with pride and tears in his eyes while everyone went nuts around him seeing her coming down the home stretch.

Lena couldn't hear anything but the sound of her own heart pounding and the sound of her breathing with eyes focused on one thing as she came down the final stretch with a stadium so loud it was shaking and she flew through the string and straight into her mother's arms sobbing through tired breath as the two held each other and a million flashes continued to go off.

"I won for you, Mama…" Lena breathed in a whisper against her mother's ear holding her tightly and laughing when Sydney attacked her from behind having come flying out of the waiting wings because it was the final and only one coach was allowed on field.

"You broke the _Olympic Record_!" Sydney squealed excitedly and hugged her sister tightly handing her the Imperial Flag of Russia, "Take your victory lap, Little Sister!"

"Go…" Irina smiled at her placing the flag around her daughter's shoulders with raining tears and then kissed her, swatting her butt and Lena smiled before tearing off waving and running so 'regally' already so far beyond her years in maturity at times it was scary and had everyone throwing roses and bears and all kinds of things at her that people were running along behind her picking up.

With the return games to Munich it was the former 1500m Gold Medal winner Lyudmila Bragina who had returned to place the medals around the winners necks and she too, had tears in her eyes having learned a great deal more in her older years then just winning as she placed the Gold medal around Lena's neck. The young girl who looked so very much like her mother while she was running and now, standing in front of her.

The woman always knew it should have been Irina who had gotten the Gold medal she was now wearing around her neck all these years later and seeing Lena standing proudly with hand over heart and tears in here eyes singing along to their countries anthem, the tears rained down from her eyes.

They stayed on the podium long enough to wave and take thousand of pictures for everyone and Irina stood quietly with silent tears watching her daughter and waving to her softly with pride in her eyes.

"Mama!" Lena called her over and when Irina was standing in front of her, she kissed her cheeks, hugging her tightly and then stood up again on the podium looking down at her mother, "I told you I won this for you… you still beat me every time." She laughed softly and removed the medal from around her neck, putting it around Irina's and then kissing her forehead in a move that Irina had always done with them.

"Sweetheart, no!" Irina tried to take it off as a million flashes were still clicking off watching Lena take her medal off and give it to her mother and knowing why.

"Yes Mama!" Lena looked at her with a stubborn eyebrow, "I wanted it for you! Next one… I keep." Her eyes filled with tears, she laughed softly holding her mother's face in her hands. "She's still the best! She beats me every time!" Lena stood back yelling loudly and clapping with a smile through her tears and her entire family broke down crying and clapping with her so moved by the whole exchange and everyone else in the stadium who slowly realized what was happening after the medal ceremony and the camera's picked it up instantly after the break.

Lyudmila stepped forward with her own rivers of tears having watched the entire exchange that Irina's daughter had given her own Gold medal to her mother.

"Tsarevicha, keep your medal, you earned it," Lyudmila smiled at Lena with choking tears, "Just as your mother did… this is her medal. One she should have gotten in this stadium many years ago." She removed the Gold medal from the 1972 Munich games from around her neck and placed it over Irina's just as gently.

"I can't take your medal." Irina's tear filled eyes went wide in shock that her former nemesis on the track who always hated that Irina was so much younger and beat her every time was now handing her the Gold medal she won and she tried to take it off.

"It's not my medal. It's never been my medal," She touched Irina's face lightly, "It's never felt like mine… always like I had stolen it… never earned it because I always knew you were better and this should have been yours. It is now. Please accept it… I know you don't _need it_ now but somewhere inside of you is that fifteen year old girl who was robbed of her time to shine and she deserves it," Lyudmila smiled looking into Irina's eyes and still seeing that girl with the wild abandon for running there, "I am honored to have run with you, Your Majesty… the greatest runner of all time." She smiled and gave a slight bow and then hugged Irina in a move that had Katya's tear filled eyes widening and sobbing at the same time. And somewhere out of nowhere the organizers and news stations had pulled the footage of a fifteen year old Irina running the last lap and beating Lyudmila severally to earn her Olympic spot that had then been taken away and the crowd in tears, gave a standing ovation again to the two, women below and the justice that had been given today.

Lena was combing her hair later that night after taking a shower and getting ready to go out to eat with her family to celebrate, when she heard the soft knock at the door and knew instantly that it was her mother.

"Come in, Mama." She called back softly with a smile.

"Hi," Irina spoke just as softly entering the room and closing the door softly behind her, "Come sit with me a minute." She smiled taking Lena by the hand and walking with her to sit on the bed.

Lena couldn't stop smiling seeing the two Gold Medals hanging around her mother's neck and she touched both of them softly looking at them each and then fingered her mother's locket looking up to meet Irina's eyes.

"Lena," Irina addressed her with tears in her eyes, "Finding out you wanted to run and win, for me…" She shook her head softly with tears and a smile at realizing now why her daughter was so distraught and upset when they weren't going to let her run, and why she chose the 1500m at the one event she could do, "I'm so honored… and so proud of you and your generous heart and you giving me your medal, means more to me then Lyudmila giving me hers-"

"It's not hers, Mama… its yours," Lena smiled interjecting and fingering the medal.

"And this is yours," Irina picked up the Gold Medal around her neck with tears tracking down her cheeks, "As much as I am moved and honored by your gesture… I can't take your medal, Sweetheart."

"You didn't take it, I gave it to you and its not polite to reject a gift, Mama." Lena smiled widely at her using her own teachings against her. "I love you, and I want you to have it… It makes me happy… so happy, to give you something that I had wanted so much."

Irina looked at her for a moment with bright sparkling eyes and smiled softly with a nod of acceptance moving to remove the medal around her neck, "And I love you so much… that I want to give you something… I had wanted so much." She smiled placing the Gold Medal from the Munich Games of 1972 around her neck.

Lena's smile widened impossibly large across her face and she laughed softly at her mother's mind and a way she twisted it back, fingering the illusive Gold Medal and then threw her arms around Irina.

"I love you, Lena… forever and always, I love you." Irina palmed the back of her head holding her tightly.

"I love you, Mama… forever and always, I love you." Lena smiled in turn holding her mother in the same way.

* * *

_Los Angeles, California - November 15th, 2017_

**_*Beautiful*_**

"Can I just say what's obvious here, guys?" Weiss looked at Lena laughing as she was walking with the others to the bathroom on her fifteenth birthday at the restaurant they were at out celebrating, "Princess Tiger Lilly does not look like she just turned fifteen." He shook his head looking at his Goddaughter who was extremely gorgeous and looked much older than she was because of her height and striking good looks, "We're in some serious shit here, guys… she's gorgeous and every scumbag sucker on Earth is already clamoring to get a piece of her." He motioned to at least seven different men, all older and some much older staring at her and eyeing her long legs with lusty looks and then laughing softy with their friends about her, "We have to come up with some sort of plan here, Panama?" He looked right at Jack as her father.

Jack was clenching his jaw, having seen the same men eyeing his daughter and not at all happy about it. It had been happening more and more lately and driving them all crazy slowly.

"Irina had the same problem with lecherous men, mostly KGB officers at the same age," Mikhail shook his head and then smiled softly at how very much Lena looked exactly like her mother, "They started leaving her alone more when they realized she was dating me… an older guy who wasn't intimidated by them as a fellow officer."

Looking at Lena now, Jack's mind suddenly short-circuited to the fact that '_this_' was how old Irina had been when she was taken into the KGB and when she and Mikhail dated briefly… and slept together. He wanted to scream and climb out of his skin with the thought and how entirely 'unready' he was for Lena to be this age.

"I think having a male best friend helps tremendously in this case as well," Mikhail smiled at Weiss nodding towards Antony and the rest of the boys sitting at another table. "He seems to keep a pretty good eye on her as does her brother and nephew." He laughed softly seeing Antony, Nicholas and Jaxx all glaring at the men who were so obviously staring at Lena. "Before Rina and I ever dated she'd hold onto my arm sometimes when we'd go out so that people would think we were together and leave her alone. She never had it easy… her radiant beauty was hard to hide and it's obvious as you said," He nodded at Weiss, "Lena is going to have the same problem."

"How about we send her to school in northern Alaska until she graduates college?" Jack glared at the new group of college aged young men now raking their eyes over her form while she stood waiting outside the bathroom laughing and chatting with Anya.

"There's bound to be horny Eskimos too, Jack." Irina laughed coming up behind them having heard the last part of the conversation and wrapped her arms around him kissing the spot in front of his ear with a soft laugh. "She asked me tonight when she can start dating."

Jack's eyes widened and heart skipped a beat while the rest of the faces around the table froze as well, not liking that idea at all.

"What did you tell her?" He asked with a gasp horrified at the thought when Irina came around the table and sat on his lap with arm still draped over his neck.

"That I'd have to talk to her father first… but Jack," She smiled trying not to laugh at his reaction, "I was fifteen when I started dating and so was Sydney-"

"That was different! Both of you! That was different! You were going into the KGB… it was the middle of a war and, and… and Sydney, I was just a terrible father and was in Nicaragua when she started dating!" He whisper shouted flustered and the others at the table started to snicker seeing his panic at the idea of Lena old enough to begin dating. "She can start dating at eighteen!"

"Jack!" Irina used her teacher tone and slanted an eyebrow at his ridiculousness. "She's going to be a senior next year… I'm not going to make her wait until she's a sophomore in College to start dating! That's not fair!"

"Fine! Seventeen!" Jack countered with resolve.

"Jonathan!" Her eyes narrowed with her deadly seductive smile that melted him and the others snickered again more loudly with 'oohs' that she had pulled out his full name.

"Sixteen, okay? That will give her half a senior year to… _date_." Jack said the word with obvious distaste and images of Sydney on her graduation with that Brian kid taking her virginity still made his blood boil and Lena was much younger from starting school earlier and then skipping quite a few things with her intelligence levels. "I'm not going lower then sixteen, Irina." He shook his head adamantly seeing her eyes still looking at him.

"Sixteen then." Irina smiled softly and rubbed his earlobe with her fingers leaning in to kiss his lips, "Just remember that I was only sixteen… when you met _me_." She winked at him with that implication as their daughter was 'just' like her, not only in looks but otherwise and got up sauntering away.

"You were almost seventeen! Nine days shy! That doesn't count!" Jack yelled after her with the table erupting into laughter when his mind flashed back to what Irina was like then. "I was not a cradle robber! I was not!" He looked around at the laughing men at his table. "It was the seventies!" He added which only made them all laugh harder.

* * *

_Peterhof Palace, St. Petersburg - July 23rd, 2018_

**_*The Mummer's Dance*_**

In honor of Jack and Ria's birthdays and the last big bash the Imperials were having before a great majority of their children went to school in America for the year on a, one year exchange, they'd decided to have a Ball with the theme of the _'Greatest Couples in History_.'

"Well, I don't need to ask who you two are." Judy smiled coming up to Jack and Irina upon seeing them for the first time this evening; all of their' costumes having been a surprise until this night. "Who else would you be but Romeo and his Juliet?" She shook her head with a raging smile looking at them, "You look spectacular! You're absolutely gorgeous." She took Irina's hand with a laugh looking at the costume and her already perfect hair done exactly to pure perfection.

"And where would Caesar be without his Cleopatra?" Irina laughed with a smile kissing her cheeks and then Kendall's hello, "You two look sensational yourself. You look quite handsome as a Roman General, Kendall." She teased looking at his outfit.

"Nice legs." Jack snickered looking at the man's exposed legs down to his sandals.

"At least I'm not wearing tights." Kendall laughed back taking in Jack's attire as Romeo.

"You're both wearing skirts!" Weiss laughed coming up behind them with Sophia and everyone went into hysteria looking at their costumes. They were _Jack _and_ Irina_, with Sophia wearing the blue prison pants and jacket with the black tank top underneath and her hand was handcuffed to Weiss who was _Jack_ and wearing a suit and had died his hair with gray.

"Oh. My. God!" Sydney gasped laughing in hysteria when they came up just behind them and snorted she was laughing so hard to see them as her parents. "You two are hilarious!"

"Well, we knew we were going to be them… because come on? They _are_ the greatest couple in history!" Weiss laughed smiling at them and clasping handcuffed hands with Sophia. "We just didn't know what variation of them we wanted to be."

"We decided against the Empress and Emperor costumes, and went with sexy Agent/ Prisoner combo instead." Sophia smiled widely taking a glass of champagne from the tray.

"And Sergei and Madeleine went with them instead!" Sydney laughed hard pointing over their shoulder to where Sophia's brother and wife were entering the party dressed as her parents as Imperials.

The two couples saw each other and broke out laughing shaking their heads while Jack and Irina shook their heads.

"Oh good grief!" Jack sighed shaking his head and then laughed pointing to Marshall and Carrie who entered next dressed in black fatigues with toy guns obviously the _Action Jack_ and _Irina_.

"See! You are the greatest couple in history!" Sophia smiled when all three couples faced the couple they were representing.

"Awe… look at Ash!" Sydney smiled seeing her sister-in-law entering on her brother's arm, "I knew they were going to be Tristan and Isolde… God, she's just gorgeous!"

"Oh Dear God!" Vaughn lost it laughing hysterically to see his father dressed as a pirate showing off his lost leg really for the first time and smiling about it. His mother as pirate wench had him doubling over. "Maman, you're a wench!"

"Not a wench, Michael but the famous Anne Bonny!" Bella smiled happily.

"And the famous Captain Calico Jack." Irina smiled laughing with her and shaking her head looking them up and down, "The famous pirates of the Caribbean who were madly in love… awe."

"And the party wouldn't be complete without Annie Oakley and Frank Butler!" Jack laughed seeing the former President George and Laura Bush dressed as the famous western couple, "You're from Texas of course you'd be!"

"Wow…" Marshall gasped swallowing hard and smiling when Katya and Marcelo joined them as none other then Antony and Cleopatra, Katya looked amazing and Marcelo simply handsome.

"How is it possible for that woman to have two great love affairs?" Jack shook his head laughing at the two variations of coupling with Cleopatra.

"Sydney, you look gorgeous as Scarlett O'Hara!" Katya kissed her cheeks and took in the fantastic gown and suit that Sydney and Vaughn wore as Scarlett and Rhett. "What a gorgeous couple."

"Thank you. Did you see Lena?" Sydney smiled excitedly looking through the throngs of partygoers for her sister, "She looks amazing!"

"Who is she?" Katya smiled as they all tried to find her niece.

"There!" Irina smiled pointing softly to where Lena was standing with her brother Nicholas by the door waiting for their dates.

"Oh she's gorgeous!" Katya gasped as did the others seeing the beautiful young woman in bare feet and leather, "Pocahontas… and I'm assuming by that Antony will be John Smith and from the looks of Nicolai," She laughed softly seeing him dressed in a kilt with face paint and bare chest as the Scottish hero, William Wallace, "That Isabella will be Murron?"

"Yes," Irina smiled happily at her children, "And Anya is simply stunning as Helen of Troy."

"Yes," Sydney laughed at her daughter spotting her with a younger male friend who was her, Paris. "I've no doubt one day my daughter could cause wars of raging male hormones to be fought over her!" She laughed along with everyone else except Jack, Mikhail and Vaughn who didn't like that prospect at all.

"They all look so beautiful!" Judy smiled seeing Eva as Maid Marian with Mitchell as her Robin Hood, just friends of course. "Ohhhh…" She gasped seeing Nadia entering with her own male friend, hand in hand.

Everyone gasped and then started laughing though they tried to stop it seeing the gorgeous fourteen-year old Nadia as Eve with her Adam and barely covered with leaves and carrying an apple as her forbidden fruit.

"We are in so much trouble." Kendall could only stare with wide eyes and shake his head looking at his Goddaughter while, Jack's brows furrowed considerably.

"Did you tell her she could wear that?" His eyes flashed to Irina.

"No, Sweetheart, I did not." Irina couldn't help but stare with her own wide eyes at her youngest and most wild beautiful daughter. She instantly held the attention of everyone in the room with many seeing Nadia for the first time as a young woman instead of a child. "The last time I spoke with her she was going to be Guinevere, fully clothed in a long, heavy, full length dress… not leaves!"

Jack was fuming internally and wanted to run and put a robe around her. His little girls were growing up too quickly and inheriting their mother's beauty only brought all the more attention… not to mention, his youngest seemed to have inherited Irina's '_charm_' in toying with the males.

"Nadia," Irina called her over with her finger and motherly tone, "What are you wearing?"

"I'm _Eve_, Mama… she wore leaves." Nadia's eyes flashed with deviance and radiantly coy smile that screamed 'Irina' to everyone else.

"This was not what you told me you were going to wear." Irina gave her the slanted eyebrow of disapproval even with a slight smile slightly amused.

"The other was too hot, Mama. Pytor suggested we go as Adam and Eve and I thought it was a great idea. The first couple in history." She smiled over at her date, who had immediately felt the heated glares of every male knowing exactly why the young man would suggest Nadia wear as little clothing as possible.

"Go put more clothes on." Jack looked at her as only a father could.

"Daddy, no! It's a great costume!" Nadia pouted with the face he could never resist, knowing exactly how to twist him around her little finger. "Please Daddy… its only for a few hours?"

"Fine." Jack nodded, "Just go." He waved her away not wanting to have to look at her mostly naked in leaves.

"You're such a pushover, _Daddy_." Irina teased him with a laugh kissing his cheek. "Oh the two of you look fantastic! The Queen of Sheba and King Solomon… amazing!" She saw Dixon and Hayden coming up beside them and gave them a hug and kiss.

"Did I just see Adam and Eve?" Dixon pointed in the direction Nadia was leaving with her friend and laughed when they nodded.

"Yes, he wasn't very happy that Robin decided to be Jane with her boyfriend Preston as Tarzan." Hayden laughed nodding in the direction where her stepdaughter was barely clothed as well.

"She's wearing a loincloth!" Dixon replied in exasperation.

"She's practically engaged!" Hayden shot back with laughing eyes and a smile at her husband's reaction to her stepdaughter's attire.

"Fathers will never change." Judy laughed. "I have to say that Tora and Konstantin as Jack and Jill are just too cute. It's so fun that they get to be a part of this as well." She smiled seeing the two eight-year old cousins bound around as the storybook characters holding onto a pail between them. "And I just love the fact that little Lara is Cinderella and Dmitri," Her voice swooned with hand to heart seeing the older man dance with the little girl, "Is her Prince Charming."

"She asked him to the Ball at breakfast… It was so cute." Sydney smiled her famous dimpled grin looking very much like the proud mother to her youngest who was only seven.

"So the children are all going to school for the first time in the United States?" Laura asked with a smile, "Are you nervous?" She smiled looking at Irina knowing she was the parent who would be away from them the most with business in Russia. They would make their house in Pasadena the main residence for the next nine months of the school year but she would be gone a great deal on business.

"Not really nervous," Irina smiled sadly, "Just sad because I'm going to miss them so much." Her fingers' automatically linked with Jack's thankful that he was going to be going back to Russia with her for the majority of the away trips so they didn't have to be separated. Irina couldn't stand the idea of having her whole family in California while she remained in Russia, yet again in her life. Without voicing it out loud, Jack understood and was the one to make the suggestion that he accompany her on those trips back to Russia while Sydney and Michael watched their three youngest while away along with their own children.

"These will be some of the longest stretches of time I've ever been away from them. I made certain that two weeks is the longest and that's when I have to jump from the UN meetings in Geneva, to South Africa, back to Russia and then to Tokyo, Beijing and Washington before I finally make it back in time for the girls last scheduled home volleyball game." Irina's eyes flashed and held with Sydney in small smile knowing that night was Parent's Night and she was '_going_ _to make it_' this time.

"They're going to be playing volleyball?" Laura asked with an excited smile, "We'll have to come watch them."

"I'm sure they'd love that." Irina smiled, "There was quite some discussion at the school from other parents and other school districts when it was revealed our children would be attending school and participating sports in Pasadena this year. Mainly because of Lena already being an Olympian."

"They said it was 'unfair' to have an Olympian running track," Sydney rolled her eyes with a shrug. "So, it was decided she's not allowed to run track… but she can play any of the other sports."

"So she's being punished for being 'too good' for her age? Well that hardly seems fair." Hayden shook her head looking over at the gorgeous girl laughing with Antony who had just arrived.

"Lena doesn't mind. She runs everyday regardless if it's in competition. The girl just loves to run." Sydney smiled proudly of her sister and then her mother knowing where she got that love of running from. "She's actually looking forward to playing other sports again for fun like volleyball with Nadia, Anya, Mia, Eva and Ria this fall, swimming in the winter and soccer in the spring."

"How exciting. All the girls together." Laura smiled, "So it will be Lena, Nicholas, Nadia, Anya, Mia, Jaxx, Eva and Ria all attending this year?" She looked around spotting the oldest of the children in the High School age range.

The parents nodded with soft smiles knowing how big of a change this was going to be after having them all in Russian schools until now. It was Lena's last year of school and she would be graduating in the spring from the same High School now that Sydney had, only two and a half years younger than Sydney was when she graduated given the differences in the Russian and American school systems.

"Lara, too, as Sydney and Michael will be spending the majority of the year stateside to keep an eye on their three. They start in three weeks already." Irina smiled softly knowing they were all leaving Russia in a few days to head to Los Angeles.

"I know that Antony is heartbroken that they are all leaving, especially Lena." Lana smiled coming to join them and over hearing the last. She was Josephine and her husband, Napoleon. Their eyes all tracked to the young best friends whom everyone saw was more there than they'd ever say. "He's gotten pretty quiet as the time has ticked down closer to her departure."

"Well, Lena will be coming back with me on a couple of occasions," Irina smiled sadly knowing her daughter felt the same about leaving her best friend, "And if Antony would like, and Isabella, too… I'll bring them back with me in November for Thanksgiving and Lena's birthday, as it's a Russian break at the time, too. It should help break up the long time separation." She laughed softly, "The two of you have to come along for that of course, too… you've never celebrated an American Thanksgiving with us."

Lana laughed, "Yes, Antony said they were quite entertaining. We'd love to." She smiled when the others laughed remembering Antony's face when he'd been invited to come along with them for his first American Thanksgiving.

"Oh yes, quite entertaining. I'll never forget my first one," Katya winked at Sydney and smirked at Jack remember that conversation.

At the end of the night and the last dance was over, Irina gasped softly when her eyes caught sight of Lena standing under the archway towards the brilliantly lit gardens of Peterhof and tapped on Jacks' shoulder from where he held her in his arms dancing to get his attention while her eyes filled with tears and face lit into a smile.

**_*The First Kiss*_**

Antony leaned in slowly with gentle fingers to the side of Lena's face, fingering her hair behind her ear and leaned in further. Their lips met in a soft kiss that lingered for just a moment with Antony's tongue just barely grazing against the bottom of Lena's lip in a soft touch that only the two of them were aware of and smiled when he pulled back and let his hand fall away slowly. Lena's eyes were wide staring at him with complete surprise, having not expected that nor the way it made her feel.

"The first kiss." Irina whispered with her cheek pressed against Jack's and tears pooling in her eyes when they watched Antony pick up Lena's hand after and kiss her fingers as well, saying 'Goodbye.'

"I'm going to miss you, Wild Child," Antony smiled softly and fingered the lone tear that had escaped from her eye, "You know I don't like saying 'goodbye' so I'm just going to go… and tell you to have fun… and I'll see you soon. Remember, we're always under the same sky… the same stars and the same moon." His smile widened with a soft laugh and he kissed her hand again. "Da Svidanya, Lena."

* * *

**_*Balcony Scene*_**

Irina had just taken her gown off and was standing in her long white slip with her hair still gorgeously done up, waiting for Jack to come to bed when she heard something outside her balcony that made her heart skip a beat. Slowly she walked out the door and looked over the edge to see Jack, still dressed as Romeo climbing up a ladder towards her.

"Jack, what are you doing?" She laughed softly.

"Climbing up to my Juliet." He smiled and kept climbing slightly tipsy.

"I'm pretty sure Romeo never used a ladder," She laughed again and saw him waver, "Jack, you're going to fall! Be careful, My Love!"

When he did fall into the bushes and rolled down the grass a little way, Irina burst out laughing, seeing him get up and brush himself off to keep on climbing.

"Jack-"

"There's no _Jack_ here." Jack smiled slowly climbing back up. "Just work with me, woman!" He scolded her to play along with a smile.

"Sydney!" Vaughn whispered from where he stood by their' own open balcony door letting in the cool breeze of summer, "Come here." He smiled widely and did a small finger wave to Lena whom he saw was watching as well. Irina's laughter at Jack falling and the soft chatter outside of the balcony that stretched all the way around the palace had caught all of their attention.

"_O Romeo, Romeo! Where for art thou Romeo?"_ Irina called out laughing softly looking down at him. "_Deny thy father and refuse thy name! Or, if thou wilt not be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet._"

"_Shall I hear more or shall I speak at this?"_ Jack spoke softly but his voice carried enough for Sydney, Vaughn and Lena to hear and understand exactly what was going on though they couldn't see Jack yet. Nadia poked her head out of her own room and smiled, leaning back against her doorframe to stay somewhat hidden and not disturb them as well.

"You've already spoken to me, I know you're there." Irina laughed that he was really doing this and covered her mouth trying to be quiet.

"_Irina!_ That's not part of it! Don't ruin the romance here!" Jack scolded her with a smile.

Irina continued on with a smile and soft laugh with neither she nor Jack aware of the eyes smiling and watching them that were growing with more and more of their family and friends taking note of what was going on outside.

"_With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt. Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me."_ Jack smiled up at her with his head now just peeking over the balcony wall.

"_If they do see thee they will murder thee_." Irina reached out to gently brush his face with her fingers.

"_Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords. Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity_." Jack snickered with the line.

Irina suddenly laughed sharply, "Sorry, but I just had a vision of Katya coming at you with a sword."

"So did I." Jack laughed softly temporarily losing their composure with the line thinking about Katya coming at him with a sword and Katya smiled and laughed softly as well from where she was also watching in the darkness with a teary smile.

"_I would not for the world they saw thee here_." Irina picked up again with a smile.

Judy and Kendall along with the Petersons were the next to discover the scene being reenacted outside on the balcony and Ann gasped with hand to her mouth and instant tears to see it being played out in front of her by the two she had always envisioned when reading the play as the two before her now.

"_By whose direction found'st thou out this place?_" Irina asked with a smile and tears in her eyes thinking about Jack coming to this place to find her so many years before.

"_By love, that first did prompt me to inquire._" Jack's own eyes got teary with his smile thinking about the same thing with these lines and knowing there were never more truer words spoken, "_He lent me counsel and I lent him eyes. I am no pilot. Yet, wert thou as far as that vast shore washed with the farthest sea…I would adventure for such merchandise._" His tears glistened and Irina's tears fell first silently knowing he had come around the world to find her.

Everyone watching knew that the meaning of these words meant so much more than just recitation of a play to the two saying them and behind their own smiles, were glistening tears. Jack and Irina were the living embodiment of what _true love_ really was to anyone who really knew them. They only seemed to fall that much more in love with each other every day and it was obvious to everyone.

"_What shall I swear by?"_ Jack asked with a smile and a soft laugh as they continued on.

"_Do not swear at all. Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee._" Irina answered with a soft laugh knowing he always loved her saying that line.

"This has to be the most romantic thing I think I've ever seen." Ann smiled wiping at her tears and felt her husband's lips to her temple.

"They're amazing…and I love that I can actually understand what they're saying now thanks to you." Ryan smiled laughing softly into her neck remembering Irina's class so long ago.

"_Th' exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine_." Jack smiled with hand over heart.

_"I gave thee mine before thou didst request it, and yet I would it were to give again."_ Irina answered with more falling tears knowing just how true that was. She had fallen in love with Jack before she was assigned to 'love' him and when she had the chance to give it to him again she took it.

Eva and Ria with nine-year old, Isolde joined Nadia in her bedroom having heard about the scene, taking place with their grandparents and soon thereafter the boys were also watching.

_"A thousand times good night!"_ Irina called to him walking slowly backwards.

"_A thousand times the worse to want thy light. Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books, but love from love, toward school with heavy looks."_ Jack took a step down playing along.

"What is he saying?" Isolde asked her sister confused and not understanding the weird language of English that was being spoken. "I don't understand what Papa Jack told Babushka?"

"He's telling her," Ria knelt down closer to her little sister with a smile, all of the older ones well versed in Shakespeare because of Irina insisting they learn _proper_ English Literature being the former professor she was, "That to leave her is a thousand times worse than being near her. Because he loves it when they are together but hates it when they are apart."

"_My Romeo!"_ Irina finished her line having come back closer to him finishing out the scene.

"_It is my soul that calls upon my name. How silver-sweet sound lovers' tongues by night, like softest music to attending ears!_" Jack smile widely.

"Take notes boys…" Ryan whispered over to Nicholas, Jaxx and Felix standing in the doorway just down from them, "Understanding what he's saying and being able to remember it and repeat it…is truly the way to any woman's heart." His arms wrapped more tightly around his wife.

"And here I thought Shakespeare wasn't your cup of tea, Mr. Peterson?" Nicholas asked with eyes and smile that were exactly like his mothers' in the same teaching tone whispered back to the man remembering the scene between the doctor and his mother from the film just before she was extracted.

Ryan and Ann both had to laugh softly at that and how much he reminded them of Irina in that moment.

_"I would I were thy bird!" _

_"Sweet, so would I! Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing. Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow."_ Irina leaned over and kissed Jack's lips softly, letting them linger a moment before stepping away.

"_Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in they breast. Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest. Hence will I to my ghostly friar's close cell, his help to crave and my dear hap to tell." _Jack whispered after her and instead of climbing all the way, back down, went over the side instead and followed her, pulling Irina back into his arms, kissing her in the moonlight without ever realizing they were being watched through tear filled eyes by so many.

"What did Papa Jack say, Ria…I don't understand?" Isolde felt left out seeing that her sister, aunt and cousin were all crying and smiling.

"He told Babushka that he wished her a peaceful sleep…wishing that he _were_ sleep and peace… so that he could spend the night with her." Ria smiled wiping at her eyes and truly finding appreciation in this play like she never had before after watching her grandparents just now, who were, _the real thing_…saying the words to each other with their great love and really meaning those words.

"But Papa Jack does spend the night with Babushka…does that mean he is her peace and sleep?" Isolde looked back up at her sister who was taking her hand and leading her back to bed.

"Yes, Iso." She smiled down at her little sister.

"Greatest couple in history…" Weiss whispered watching Jack and Irina, go back into their bedroom and kissed his wife's head before leading her back to bed.

Lena lay back down in her bed with Nana snuggling in at the foot and heard the words her parent's had recited flitting through her mind and reached up, gently brushing her fingertips to her lips thinking of Antony's kiss. She smiled softy and closed her eyes turning over and falling asleep.


	49. Chapter 49

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): All The Things She Said **_**(Russian version) Tatu,**_** Disco Science by Paul Oakenfold, Miserlou **_**by Dick Dale from Pulp Fiction Soundtrack**_**, Never Grow Old The Cranberries, Blurred Lines **_**by Robin Thicke feat. Pharrell & T.I., **_**What You Waiting For **_**by Gwen Stefani, **_**Do Your Thing**_** by Basement Jaxx. **

* * *

FORTY-NINE

o

_Pasadena, California - September 2018_

Nadia softly elbowed Lena who was sitting in the middle of the seat of the car and Nicholas on the far side, giving her a look with narrowing eyebrows and nodding towards their mother in the front passenger side on the way to the game. Jack had flown out to meet Irina for the last week and both had just gotten back from her long two weeks away and just in time for Parent's Night as she promised 'all' her girls.

Lena was shaking her head and nodded towards Nadia who then shook her head _no_ and they both turned to Nicholas who immediately shook his head _no_.

"What's going on back there?" Jack asked having seen the silent conversation going on in the rearview mirror and the unusual silence in the car when his teenagers were normally very talkative, especially if their mother had been away for a while.

Irina turned around in her seat to scrutinize them noticing they all quickly looked down or away.

"What's up guys?" She asked with a smile, reaching her hand out and touching Lena's bare knee. "Lena…" She addressed the oldest knowing she usually gave straight answers without dodging too much of the truth.

Lena sighed heavily, "Mama… I should probably give you and Daddy a heads up before you get there… that," She thought carefully of what to say, "The warm up music for the game has changed… and it's meant to antagonize me… _us_," She waved her hand softly between she and Nadia, "All of us actually…" She sighed again, "Which we're fine with because we don't let them bother us-"

"Who is, _them_?" Irina asked with slanted eyebrow not liking the sound of this.

"The girls who were very popular before the '_Communist Invasion_." Nadia added and then squealed, 'owe' when Lena elbowed her and threw her a dirty look for saying that much.

"Communist Invasion?" Irina asked softly almost choking on the words looking over the three of them and having no idea any of this had been going on. She'd felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. A long time ago she was used to hearing insults about being a Communist but it had been almost thirty years since the end of communism in Russia and she never expected her children to be slandered with the brand this much later.

"Mama, don't worry its nothing. They're just jealous and mean." Nadia fingered her hair behind her ear, "They used to be very popular and now they hate all of us because we get a lot of attention at school. People like to talk to us and hang out with us and a couple of girls on our team who used to be starters and who are the Senior Captains, decided to get us all back by antagonizing us with the warm-up before game… that's all. They're just upset that they were bumped from their spots by six Russian girls… three of whom the coaches brought up from Junior Varsity."

"Mia, Eva and Ria?" Irina confirmed and Nadia nodded softly while Irina was still stunned and Jack swallowed hard.

"And they really seem to have taken to hating on Lena because she gets a lot of attention from the guys who used to think 'they' were the _hottest things since sliced bread_… and they hate the new nickname the guys gave her for just that reason," Nadia slapped Lena's arm when Lena elbowed her again.

"What is the new nickname the guys are calling you?" Irina squeezed Lena's knee softly seeing her daughter was obviously not comfortable with this conversation.

"Russian Rye." Lena answered softly without looking up.

"Get it? She's the hottest thing since sliced bread." Nadia chewed on her lip. "And the more the guys tease her the more the girls hate on us."

Jack felt his hand gripping the steering wheel more tightly with white knuckles.

"I've tried to get the guys to take it easy but they're guys." Nicholas shrugged apologetically. "Guys are just different here and some of them are two or three years older then I am…they don't care about listening to me."

"How are they antagonizing you with this warm up?" Irina decided to forge on and she'd have to sort all of this out later when they weren't parking and getting out of the vehicle.

"It's just the music, Mama… it's meant to antagonize us, not you. I'm sorry. It's not a big deal really," Lena smiled back at them and grabbed her bag pulling Nadia with her, "I love you and we'll see you in a little bit."

"Nicolai, what else have they been doing to your sisters and nieces?" Irina linked her arm with her son, sighing as they walked into the gym.

"Mama, it's nothing, don't worry. We can take care of ourselves." He smiled kissing her cheek, ever the charmer.

"Cowboy." Jack addressed him with a soft look knowing he was trying to protect his mother and proud that they'd all banded together to deal with this on their own, not let it bother them but holding back now and leaving them uniformed only made matters worse if the situation continued to escalate and Irina felt out in the dark.

"It's not everyone. Most of the people here are really great… its just a couple-" Nicholas stalled and Irina stopped touching his cheek lightly and grabbing his gaze with her intent eyes not letting go. "They've pulled some pranks." He finally answered still evading knowing Lena was going to be mad at him for even saying this much.

"Such as…" Irina remained still not letting his eyes go to get to the truth she saw him so reluctant to give which only made her more intent on finding out.

"Leaving stuff in her locker some times and shouting things out in class… she takes it all in stride and lets it roll off her back. She doesn't let it bother her." Nicholas sighed hating it when his mother was looking at him so intently that he could never lie and only hope to hedge away from it enough.

"Lena?" Irina asked noticing he was saying on 'she' instead of the 'them' and hearing about how she wasn't letting it bother her, she knew that sounded exactly like Lena. She waited for him to nod before bringing him back on topic, "What are they leaving in her locker?"

"Mama," Nicholas used the tone that always got to her being so sweet, "Just let it go. We'll take care of it. We already did."

"Nicholas… just, answer your mother please." Jack stepped forward with hands balling into fists thinking about someone antagonizing his little girl.

"They shove old Soviet propaganda into her locker sometimes… crumbles of Rye bread in her chair before she sits down for class… write taunts on her locker door… leave empty pill bottles in her gym bag that say 'Russian Steroids' on them, thinking it's funny and the only way she could be such a great athlete and Olympian at her age… they write stuff on the board in the locker room before practice or after games to taunt her like '_The Chosen One= Genetically Altered Communist'_…" He sighed heavily hating that he could see his mother's heart breaking in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it standing so close to him. They were his eyes; he knew how to read them. "And yell things out that are just bullshit! Sorry, Mama," He quickly apologized for the language he used in front of her with his rising anger at the taunts to his sister and heartbreak he saw in his beloved mother. "But it is, bullshit! They really don't like the fact that Russia is taking over as the strongest nation in the world… so they say idiotic things to her."

Irina wanted to cry hearing her child was being tormented so but pushed the feeling down; now was not the time to get upset about it.

"Don't worry about her, Mama. Lena's pretty tough… she can hold her own." He smiled softly with pride.

Irina gave him a small smile and head nod, knowing they needed to go in and let go of his face kissing his other cheek, "Thank you." She clasped Jack's hand with her free hand and the three of them, walked in to meet with everyone else in the packed gymnasium.

Lena smiled happily at them coming out of the locker room with everyone else to line up for the introductions and winked at Sydney whom she knew was enjoying this moment for two reasons: the first being it was her very first Parent's Night introduction as a _parent_ and the second, that it was the first time ever… she'd be walking out _beside_ their parents, who had never made it to her own Parent's Night. This was as much for her this evening as it was for the girls playing volleyball now.

Irina's eyes were raking the players trying to find the culprits inconspicuously as they lined up and zeroed in on two girls who were in the front casually looking back at them and mostly Lena from time to time laughing and whispering into each other's ears and took note of the way her daughter purposefully ignored them.

Mia went first with Sophia and Eric, and then Ria with Julian and Ash and after, Anya and Eva with Sydney and Vaughn.

"All around player, Junior, Anastasia 'Anya' Vontonavich," The crowd cheered loudly when they walked out second to last, "And all around player, Sophomore, Eva Vontonavich, daughters of Sydney and Michael Vontonavich."

The crowd was going crazy as they walked out and Lena pulled softly on her mother's hand, leading the configuration of four following them out. "All around player, Junior, Nadia Bristow, and all around player, Senior, Lena Bristow… daughters of," The crowd roared before their names were even announced to near deafening levels making the announcer pause for several long moments waiting for a break in the roar to actually say their names. "Irina and Jack Bristow."

Irina's eyes filled with tears looking at her girls and then over to Sydney whose gaze she held for a moment acknowledging what was lost and smiling at what was gained and now shared between them.

Everyone was still going bonkers hearing Jack and Irina announced so casually while the girls lined up to hit the court for warm up and parents took their seats. Irina reached for Sydney's hand the same time Jack did, taking seats on opposite sides of her with Vaughn behind them, both wanting to have the contact and not relinquish their hold and Sydney was smiling radiantly with pounding heart that another wound from her past had been healed this evening with her parents both by her side.

**_*All The Things She Said*_**

All eyes flashed to them and the girls the moment the first notes of the Russian song began to play, the first in what was to be five minutes of pure _antagonism_. It was an old song but one that they were all familiar with and could see why the mean girls had chosen it to tease their girls as it was about two girls in love with each other, singing in Russian and trying to insult them in revenge for the boys liking them by suggesting they were Russian lesbians as if it were something sinister and derogatory. There was nothing wrong with the song except the intent these girls had put behind it in trying to taunt Lena and the rest of them.

The girls went on about their warming up with the screaming section of boys cheering loudly for them, some without shirts and instead had the Russian flag painted across their chest whooping loudly and gyrating in a disturbing manner with laughter whenever one of their girls went up to the net. Katya had no idea how those boys could ever have thought such efforts would win the affections of any young woman let alone her granddaughter and nieces. They were simply appalling to watch and wondered where their parents were and why no one was stopping such behavior.

Lena knew the song was about to change and closed her eyes at the net for a moment with regret before turning to look over her shoulder at them softly apologizing with her eyes before the song began.

**_*Disco Science*_**

"Oh... my God." Irina gasped softly hearing the first bars of the now famous song play over the entire gym that was screaming with excitement and soon everyone was humming loudly along. She'd hoped this fanaticism had died down years ago with the time passing of the movies but it seemed that an entire new generation was now becoming enamored with what they were now calling 'classics' to be watched over and over. Irina didn't mind so much as she hated that others seemed to be using it against her children now, instead of the intended purpose which they had been originally done, which was to help other people and for the most part, had. She wondered why children in America seemed so much more vicious in attacking each other and knew why they said now, American high schools were worse than some prisons for cruelty. Kids were cruel these days.

Sydney squeezed both her parents hands simultaneously having no idea about any of this but guessing it was some sort of bullying against all of their girls and felt both her parent's cringe when the boys in the large section across the way, lined up and spanked their asses with their belts in time with the whip cracks of the song, laughing hysterically and screaming together with the beat, "_Russian!_" smack! "_Rye!_" smack! "_Russian!_" smack! "_Rye!_" smack!

"So I'm guessing that Lena is 'Russian Rye?" Sydney asked softly seeing most of the boys sporting her number somewhere on their chest and looking at her as they spanked their asses in time with the whip-crack much like Irina had done to Dubey.

Irina's eyes filled with the tears she could not hold back watching what they were doing to her daughter and hating to see Lena having to face this, go through this and it was because of her. She didn't care about the fact they were actually mocking her but only that they were doing so trying to get at her daughter.

"I can't believe the school authorities aren't doing anything about this?" Kendall shook his head in disbelief; he'd never seen Lena disrespected so much, not to mention the other girls and Jack and Irina. It certainly had to be a drastic change for Lena and the other kids who were treated with extreme respect the majority of the time in Russia as members of the Imperial Family, children of the Tsar and Tsarevicha. Here, it was like they'd been tossed into a viper's pit. If this was teaching them the lesson in being humble and humility, it was a tough lesson being learned.

They all caught Lena's gaze with her back to the boys behind her as she stared at Irina and mouthed, "I'm sorry, Mama." With tears glistening in her eyes that she was more upset her mother had to see this than the fact it was aimed at humiliating her and yet, trying to hit on her at the same time in some perverse fashion by trying to tell her they thought she was hot and yet demeaning her and her mother at the same time. It made no sense to any sane, non-horny-teenage-boy. Lena could care less about what they were doing to her, but she hated to see the glistening tears in her mother's eyes.

**_*Miserlou*_**

Lena smiled at Irina softly with a head nod when the song finally ended and the boys screamed for a while but settled down some as the game got underway.

One after another the girls slammed the ball down the other teams throats working in perfect unison knowing each other so well with the two Bristow sisters in the front along with Anya, as attackers and Eva as a constant in the back flying all over the place as one of the diggers and Mia and Ria swapping out on occasion with other players on the team in rotation though Lena and Nadia stayed in constantly. With Lena's speed and Nadia's jumping ability from gymnastics the sisters were an unstoppable force. Like bullets out of a gun Anya set a tip over the net to Nadia who faked an attack and set it immediately over to Lena who slammed it down like a missile on the other side of the net in seconds causing everyone to go crazy.

Eva had perfected her mother's jump serve and scored three aces right off the bat in the second set and one after another they mowed down their competition sending them sprawling trying to get out of the way in most cases as the speeding bullets launched off Anya, Nadia and Lena's arms came flying from everywhere under heavy attack.

Ria pulled off a spectacular flying save on a wild ball and flew into the bleachers while everyone went crazy and Anya brought it back and Nadia launched it dead center back line to get the winning point of that match as well.

The third set didn't take long either as the Romanov girls hammered down the points blowing away their competition with an inferno of fire hailing down on them from the net and the hundreds of people inside the gym went crazy. When Mia served the last winning point all the girls dove for the floor into the middle and then rolled bouncing up to a standing position at the same time and each clasping the other's hand next to them, connecting their circle and stirring the fans in a frenzy.

Everyone swarmed the court and tried to clomp excitedly on the girls which made their security teams fly around wildly trying to keep everyone back and really earning their pay checks but the girls were so excited with their last win nothing could dampen their mood.

The team and parents hung around chatting on the court while everyone else began to clear out and Irina saw the two girls walking out of the gym giving glaring looks to Lena and Nadia headed towards the locker to clear out their stuff. Her mother bear instincts wouldn't be quieted and slipped away following them while everyone else was consumed in celebration. Only her faithful bodyguard whose eyes never left her, followed behind her.

Irina stood in absolute silence listening to the girls rant and rave against her daughters, granddaughters and goddaughter for a moment with them completely unaware of her presence and watched as they pulled a printed picture of a painting of Lenin from a folder that held many of the same, obviously having quite the supply at ready and taped it over Lena's locker at eye level. Laughing hysterically when they moved to the board the coach wrote plays on and wrote out once more, _'The Chosen One = Genetically Altered Communist_.'

"If you want to insult me, do it to my face." Irina finally spoke in a voice like death and made both girls jump out of their skin and drop the dry eraser marker. They stood frozen with wide eyes in horror as she slowly walked towards them. "Go ahead… insult me. I'm standing right here. You don't have to write it out for my daughters to read."

The two were absolutely horrified and tears began to build in their eyes in terror knowing what she was capable of and the fact she had snuck up on them without sound a testament to her abilities.

Irina picked up a different marker and scratched out the word altered, and began writing over it in a very teacher like fashion. "If you're going to put an equal to sign you must make certain you have the correct formula on each side…it's not '_altered_' girls, but '_abnormal_' as I was born this way, not created. And not '_Communist_' but 'Former Communist." She smiled in her '_oh so charming'_ way, "It helps to get your facts straight." She walked over to Lena's locker and pulled down the picture of Lenin, walking slowly back toward them holding it up so they could see it. "Tell me, girls… how would you feel having the picture of the man who murdered your family flaunted in your face all the time?" Their eyes went wide in surprise and fear not knowing what she meant by that or if it were a threat. "Or perhaps in your young ignorance you don't even know." She cocked her head looking at them like they were pathetic, "Do you know what Lenin did to my mother and her family?" They shook their heads 'no' barely; actually having no idea, only knowing the man was the leader of Communist Soviet Russia after the Revolution and that was all they cared to read about pulling the image from _Wikipedia_ to taunt Lena and the others with knowing that 'communism' at least was considered a 'bad' thing from their history lessons.

"He rounded them up… my mother, who was the same age as you are now…" She looked at the girls intently. "Her sisters and little brother. Her mother and father and he put them into a tiny room in a basement where they were being held prisoner; locking them in this room with no escape… And he ordered them shot to death by a firing squad and when that hail storm of bullets failed to kill them all, the soldiers began bludgeoning my family with the butts of their rifles and stabbing them to death with bayonets. My mother's whole family was killed in that room. My mother was the only survivor though not without grave injuries from being shot, stabbed and beaten repeatedly. This man," She held Lenin's picture just inches from their pale faces, "Did that… and you taunt my child with him? The man who murdered our family so savagely? Why? What did Lena ever do to you?"

"Nothing." One of them answered softly with tears now falling from her eyes ashamed.

"You've obviously seen the films on my life and my family." She paused for only a moment, long enough to see their slight head nods in confirmation. "So after seeing what Lena's already been through, don't you think she's been tortured enough in her life? Faced enough mean rats gnawing on her flesh trying to wear her down and eat away at her?" Irina's glare was like fire and the double meaning on 'rats' was not lost on the girls who both turned into rampant tears and contorted faces trying to hold back their sobs. "Being tortured isn't any fun, girls. You should really consider yourselves lucky to have never been through something as horrific-"

"Mama…" Lena came in behind them with Nadia and the rest of the team surprised to see her mother there with the girls and then swallowed hard seeing both of her tormentors in tears. Her eyes flashed to the board and saw what had been written, and re-written over it, making it politically correct. "Mama, what are you doing?" She asked rapidly in Russian knowing her American teammates wouldn't have a clue what they were saying.

"Just straightening a few things out, Lena. Nicholas told me more of what these two have been taunting you with and so, I decided that if they want to attack you with _my_ past, they should at least be getting some facts straight." Irina smiled softly at her knowing her daughter was going to be upset she'd stepped in.

"I can handle it on my own, Mama. I don't let them get to me!" Lena jumped in again with another rapid rebuttal in Russian.

"I won't allow anyone to attack you because of me, Sweetheart." Irina spoke just as rapidly in Russian and the rest of the girls heads and eyes were bouncing back and forth like ping-pong balls watching intently though not understanding. "I wasn't threatening them at all, merely speaking with them in a calm manner."

Lena's eyes flashed over to the girls who were openly crying in silence standing beside her mother.

"Um, I'm just going to grab my bag and leave you guys to have your discussion." Another girl on their team took charge seeing as though they couldn't understand anything and really wanted to be nowhere near this place, knowing what the beautiful Tsar was capable of and already seeing the other two girls crying, they wanted no part of it, though they felt a sense of justice at the sight knowing how much the two had made Lena and the other Russian girls lives hell the last couple of months. "Girls…" She motioned for the others who quickly grabbed their things leaving the Russian girls alone with the Tsar and the two instigators.

"Lena, I'm sorry." One of the girls in tears suddenly cried, "I'm sorry for being so mean to you. I really am."

"I am, too." The other quickly joined in, "And you Nadia, and Anya, and Eva and Mia and Ria…all of you, I'm sorry."

"And I'm sorry, Mrs. Bristow, Your Majesty, Empress…Tsarina," The girl floundered rapidly with what to call the woman before her, "I'm sorry for everything… I am, I'm really sorry." She cried, "I feel horrible I wasn't thinking, I was just being mean and I'm just sorry, I am."

"Me too." The other one added with the same tears nodding.

"Okay, apology accepted." Irina answered softly and leaned forward slightly towards them so that only they could hear, "But I'm going to be keeping my eye on you."

Both girls swallowed hard and quickly apologized to everyone again, grabbed their stuff and ran out the door.

Lena looked at Irina for a long moment and then silently went to her locker packing up her stuff while the other girls did the same.

"We'll wait for you guys outside." Nadia smiled softly, pecking her mother's cheek on her way out seeing the tension still existing between her sister and mother.

"You're angry with me for interfering, I can see that." Irina began cautiously and sighed, walking over and taking a seat on a bench adjacent from Lena's locker where her daughter was sitting on the bench in front of it. "But Sweetheart, if I have the ability to do something to stop someone from hurting you I'm going to do it. I can't stop myself and I know that drives you nuts at times but I can't stand to see anyone hurting you because of me."

"And _I_… can't stand to see anyone hurting _you_… because of _me_." Lena answered quietly emphasizing those particular words without looking at her mother, pulling her sweaty uniform top off and throwing it into her bag, retrieving a fresh t-shirt. "I saw the tears you were trying to hold back when those idgiots were slapping their asses with the belts to the song… They were doing that to taunt me and I could care less about them taunting me… but I know it had to have hurt you and I'm sorry, Mama." Lena's voice quivered with held back emotion and she quickly wiped at an escaping tear. "They're obviously not mature enough to understand the complexity of that situation from that scene and only saw it as hot sex instead of what was really going on… idgiots. That's why they're not worth me getting upset over… you can't reason with ignorant idgiots." She shook her head.

Irina smiled with pride through her tears to hear her daughter defending her motivations and what was happening in that part of the film, that Lena saw past the physical action between her mother and Dubey and knew what it was really about and it moved Irina beyond words.

"And I didn't say anything in response to those girls because I don't feel the need to have to justify my amazing mother, whom they have no idea what the hell they are talking about, to! They'll never get it… but I do." She spun around away from Irina and walked back towards the board, picking up the marker and writing behind, _'The Chosen One = Genetically Abnormal Former-Communist_,' adding, '_and the most extraordinary woman on the face of the planet who I'm proud to call **'my'** Mama._' She underlined, bolded and italicized her claim and pride on the board before she turned around and looked at Irina with tears trickling down her face.

Lena wasn't mad her, Irina realized, she was quiet and upset because she'd been trying to protect her… They were so much the same; their hearts and intentions and need to protect the ones they loved.

Irina stood with her own raining tears and soft smile holding her arms open stepping forward and Lena was instantly in them, holding on tightly.

"I love you, Mama… thank you for always wanting to protect me." Lena whispered softly with hot tears falling against her mother's neck where her face was buried. She'd watched the movies over and over, read the book, over and over, and her mother's journals and talked to Sydney for hours and hours until she understood everything she could, every emotion and motivation and response and the one thing she knew she'd never be able to ever get angry at her mother for ever again, was her love for her children and wanting to protect them.

"Sweetheart, you are my heart." Irina pulled her back and cupped her face framed by drying sweaty curls falling from a loose ponytail, "I will always protect you at any cost. I love you, Lena…to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth…forever and always… I love you."

"I know you do… and I love you the same, Mama." Lena smiled with more tears falling. "Now, lets go get some pizza because I'm ravenous!" She laughed softly bouncing back and changing topics.

Irina kissed her forehead with a soft laugh and then lips, hugging her tightly. "Alright, sweaty girl… let's feed you but how about we order in, instead of going out? I've had enough of the public eye for tonight… I want to spend the rest of it with just my family…no prying eyes or ears. I've missed you all terribly."

"I like that plan." Lena grabbed her stuff and slung her bag over her shoulder before wrapping her arm around her mother's waist when Irina put her arm around her shoulders. "I really have missed you, too, Mama, these last couple of weeks…we may have to kick Daddy out of bed and have some serious snuggling as I'm in need of some massive refueling." She laughed softly with her mother, "Daddy has had you alone for the last week and American high school takes a lot out of you…I have no idea how Nee-Nee was able to go it alone." She shook her head thinking about the fact that her sister had no parents to talk to her about this kind of stuff or hold her tightly and reaffirm they loved her when the world seemed like they hated you. "She's much stronger then I am."

"Your sister is an extraordinary human being with an amazing heart," Irina smiled thinking of Sydney tinged with a bit of sadness that she did have to go through so much alone, "And so are you, Snuggle Bug… so are you." She added again in a whisper kissing her temple and opening the door for them.

* * *

**_*Never Grow Old*_**

_November 15th, 2018_

Irina crept across the hall and opened the door to her daughter's room quietly, smiling when she saw Lena's hair spilled wildly all over her pillow, lying on her stomach with Nana on the end of the bed as she always was. The dog's head perked up and lay back down when she saw it was Irina creeping inside and Irina scratched her behind the ear before moving around the bed and sitting on the edge, leaning over and pressing her cheek to Lena's wrapping her body under her own with a smile.

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart." Irina whispered with tears in her eyes of disbelief that she was actually sixteen today. She and Jack had lain in bed for the last half hour sharing that disbelief before he went to make Lena's favorite breakfast and she came to wake her up.

"Happy Birthday, Mama." Lena smiled with her eyes closed, moving her arm up to hug her mother knowing it was just as much her day as it was her own and had told her mother 'Happy Birthday' on her birthday every birthday since she was nine. "It's too early to get up… come snuggle with me." She said sleepily with eyes still closed and tugged on her mother's arm.

Irina laughed softly and crawled over her in the big bed and spooned up behind her. "Your father is making breakfast… he cried this morning that you are sixteen already." She laughed softly with a smile through her own tears, her face against the back of Lena's neck and felt and heard her daughter's laugh as well.

"Daddy is just crying because he knows that I finally get to start dating today." Lena answered with a smile laughing softy and keeping her eyes shut. "He keeps threatening to go '_Meet the Fockers'_ on any guy I bring home and do polygraphs and other tests from the CIA and I told him if he did… I would never bring a guy home and he said 'good' and I said, I'll just meet them at their house and he got that look on his face like he turned to stone." She laughed and felt her mother laughing with her, "I swear, Mama between Daddy, Uncle Kendall, my Godfathers, Uncle Marcelo, Sergei, my brothers and even my own nephews! I'll be lucky if I ever find a guy brave enough to want to go on a date with me."

"Just remember whomever they approve of then has to get through me and the rest of the Romanov-Derevko women before they get passed on with Clearance to see you." Irina added with a smiling voice and laughed when she heard Lena groan 'my family is insane!'

_***Blurred Lines***_

"Irina!" Jack called up the stairs suddenly in a loud voice grabbing everyone's attention and awakening the remaining two sleepers of Nadia and Nicholas. "Get down here we have a situation!" That brought everyone springing out of bed quickly and clamoring down the steps.

"What situation?" Irina asked seeing Jack standing in the living room with spatula in hand standing in his pajama pants.

"Look out the window." Jack pointed and they did and saw that held back just to the edge of their property by security, there was a mass of boys, young men and some older men all with gifts or flowers as far as they could see.

"Guess everyone remembered it's your birthday… and that you can date now." Nadia laughed excitedly, "Oh look at that one, Lena, he's so dreamy! Look at those muscles! This is fantastic!"

"Dreamy?" Jack shook his head, "This is not fantastic! I've already called in the reinforcements and you are not going a date any of those 'things," he waved his hand in the general direction of the swarm of men and boys, "Until we've thoroughly interviewed each of them."

"You mean interrogated…." Lena's eyebrow slanted dangerously with arms crossed over her chest, "Daddy… you're being impossible and ridiculous!"

"Dad, there is a guy out there who is at least forty… and he's wearing a wedding ring!" Nicholas was looking out the window and whipped his head back unnerved. "That's just sick and wrong!"

"And I'm being ridiculous by wanting to filter out these idiots and scum bags for you?" Jack gave her his bad Daddy glare and waved his spatula around, "You eat your breakfast and then go shopping with your mother and sister or something while we wade through the trash and see if anything is salvageable. Happy Birthday by the way, Peanut." He leaned over and kissed her cheek where she stood looking less than impressed.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday to you, too, Daddy." She spun on her heel and headed back to her room with Nana on her heels.

"What about breakfast, I made your favorite!" Jack called after watching her ascend the staircase.

"Why don't you feed it to the Interrogation Team when they arrive? I'm sure they'll love it. I'm not hungry and I'm going for a run." Lena stopped at the landing on the top and looked down at them with spit and fire in her eyes.

"No you're not! You're not going for a run when all those goons are out there waiting to jump you!" Jack pointed his spatula around wildly again feeling like he was losing control.

"Daddy! How do you know they all just want to jump me? I'm sure there has to be a few of them who aren't the horn dogs you think they are!" Lena fired back matching his temper, with his own in female form… thankfully though, she had her mother's sense of reason when thinking in heated situations and used it vigorously ever since she disregarded it in the first and last horrid fight she ever had with her mother about running in the Olympics three years ago.

"Of course they all want to jump you! Why do think they're all waiting out there with gifts and flowers at eight o'clock in the morning?" Jack was rambling in his anger over losing control and not thinking anymore in his panic, "I know how guys think, Sweetheart… guys only get out of bed this early for girls for two reasons: one they are in love and two, they have sex on the brain! They've never met you so it can't be the first! Which only leaves the second!"

_"Jack!" "Daddy!"_ Irina and Lena both gasped at him with shock and horror. Lena spun around and ran to her room leaving Irina to glare at him.

"Are you happy now? You've just basically told our daughter that the only reason any boy could possibly ever want her is just to sleep with her!" Irina had her hand on her hip fuming silently while their other two children watched with interest in this very bizarre situation going on outside.

"Irina, come on! You know as well as I do those scumbags out there only see opportunity when they look at her. She's gorgeous and she's Royalty and they're thinking about sex and money! Trust me… I'm a guy and I know the way they think!" Jack spit out seeing more and more guys packing in and his reinforcements pulling up in the drive in several cars. "If there is one guy out there that is somewhat decent we'll find him!"

"You're unbelievable at times! Do you know that! You say I'm stubborn!" Irina shook her head, "I don't care what it is you think you know about these guys intentions you don't just say something like that to your daughter!" She walked away heading back upstairs.

"Where are you going? Aren't you going to eat either?" He asked rapidly seeing Nadia following her mother as well.

"I'm going to do damage control, Dad-dy!" Irina emphasized the way Lena used to call out to him, "And I really don't feel like having a birthday breakfast for Lena without her. I'll take her running and we'll get breakfast out somewhere."

"Firecracker, you too?" Jack looked helplessly at his youngest seeing he was being abandoned just as Vaughn, Jaxx, Mikhail, Weiss, Felix, Kendall, Marcelo, Sergei, Katya, Ben, Dixon, Ryan, Julian and Alexei came through the door looking bewildered and then slightly uneasy to feel the tension in the Bristow household with Irina walking away up the stairs with Nadia while Jack was asking her 'too' about something.

"Yes, Daddy. That wasn't very nice what you said to Lena and I really don't feel like eating her birthday breakfast without her either." Nadia gave him her own glare in her sister's defense and then disappeared around the corner following her mother.

"Been busy this morning, Jack? Besides managing to anger every female in your household by the sounds of it." Kendall asked with his own hand on hip and smirk in place seeing the man clearly had lost control and had a wild look in his eyes with his ruffled bed head and still in his pajama pants waving a spatula around.

"Dad basically told Lena that guys only want to date her to have sex with her and Mama freaked out on him and now none of them want to have breakfast with him." Nicholas offered up quite helpfully from his place by the window.

"You're supposed to be on my side!" Jack pointed the spatula at his son for making the truth sound so harsh. "And I did not say it like that!"

"Okay you said that guys only get out of bed for two reasons this early for girls, because they are in love or they want to have sex and then told her that all of these guys aren't here because they love her but because they have sex on the brain." Nicholas reworded what his father said more accurately actually making it sound worse than before.

"You are so like your mother sometimes!" Jack pointed again with the utensil staring into his son's eyes that were Irina's and then pulled his own hair in frustration.

"Jack, Jack, Jack…" Katya clicked her tongue in disappointment heading up the stairs leaving the men to the unraveled father.

When she opened the door she found Irina lying in the middle of the bed with Lena draped on one side of her and Nadia the other and all were in silent tears with Nana lying over Irina's feet trying to make everyone feel better.

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart." Katya smiled softly at Lena sitting down on the bed beside them, "Let's leave this house and go find you some boys to flirt with at the mall." She laughed softly, rubbing Lena's forearm with her fingers and thumb trying to make her feel better.

"What's the point? They'll only flirt back because they want to have sex with me. Not because they want to talk to me." Lena wiped at a new tear and Katya and Irina's eyes met, wanting to strangle Jack mutually at this moment and then decided on a new tactic as they were obviously not going to convince Lena otherwise.

"Yes, I know… I used to have the same issue, Darling." Katya smiled earning stunned looks from both her nieces' eyes, "Being a model, males only saw me for my face and body and didn't care about anything else…" She smiled softly having their full attention. "Sophia had the same problem being in the public eye so much with modeling and I used to hold her while she cried about another unworthy boy breaking her heart… we both had to kiss a lot of frogs before we found our princes." She laughed softly, "You're mother never had that problem… she was lucky enough to date her best friend and then find her true prince charming rather quickly in her life, though he's not so 'charming' at this moment, in your father," she raised her eyebrow at Jack's behavior downstairs rolling her eyes and making all three laugh softly. "Most people aren't lucky enough to find their soul mate at only sixteen but she did… across the ocean and in speaking different languages… she found him or rather… he found her." Katya laughed softly thinking about Jack's run in and then stalking of her sister.

"But Daddy won't let me get anywhere near the frogs to kiss them and find out if they're princes!" Lena wiped at her eyes again with teary smile.

"He will eventually after he's sorted out all the horny toads," Irina smiled with a laugh, "And then I've had a chance to weed out all the salamanders who happen to slip by his watchful gaze…" She laughed softly with them, "Then I promise you… you'll have you're turn with the frogs and eventually get sick of them… and when that happens, your prince will appear." She kissed Lena's forehead and then Nadia's. "Your father is just trying to protect you from getting hurt by any unnecessary toads who can easily be picked out now by their visible warts."

"I had no idea boys fit so well into the amphibian category." Nadia giggled softly loving this analogy. "But its great… I've always loved to play with frogs."

"Yes, we know…" Katya laughed squeezing Nadia's hand, "You, my Little Darling, have never been shy about getting right in there and playing with frogs."

"Katya!" Irina admonished trying to stifle her laugh and failing when the four of them laughed together.

"It's true, I love the frogs." Nadia smiled happily with a deviant laugh with head on Irina's chest.

"She definitely gets that from, Mama." Katya smiled at Irina seeing so much of their mother's fire in Nadia's passion to 'play with the boys' in true Romanov flare.

"I'm hungry," Lena snuggled against her mother and played with her Mother's locket, "But I don't want to go down there and eat with them."

"Then let's go out! We can eat wherever you like." Irina smiled playing with her girls' hair.

"Can we call all the girls and have a big girl breakfast and day out?" Lena asked not wanting to celebrate without her other sister and nieces and cousins and sister-in-law.

"Of course, I'll call them now while you get ready and we can meet them wherever you'd like." Irina smiled as they sat up.

"Lingerie? You got my sixteen year old goddaughter lingerie?" Weiss held up the red lacy number from the box, "Are you serious?" He glared at the young man. "Get out! Get out before I kick your ass all the way back to the womb!"

The young man quickly scrambled out while Weiss threw the gift, box and paper into the pile of other inappropriate gifts. It was the tenth of its kind that just he had opened. The pile from the others was about the same. If it wasn't lingerie it was body oils or toys. When Jack had opened the French Maid's costume he simply had to look up and glare for the young man to fly off the couch and out the door running at full speed.

They encountered a few scary guys who it was clear were obsessed with Irina and her daughter seemed like the next best thing to live out their fantasies and Jack kept their information to give to their security to keep tabs on. They'd been so disturbing that he wondered briefly, how many more disturbing characters there were like them out there who lurked in the dark completely obsessed with his wife.

Four hours later and they only had two boys they'd even consider passing through to Lena. Jack hated that he'd been right with the intentions of the majority and sat down heavily in the chair where they'd ordered pizza for lunch when it was over.

"Well at least there were two somewhat salvageable." Vaughn rubbed his temple and couldn't imagine having to go through this with all the girls when they turned sixteen, which had become the unofficial but official age of dating in the Imperial Family with Lena setting the precedent.

"I wouldn't bother." Nicholas shook his head and poured himself more soda, "I know my sister and those two are nowhere on her radar." He laughed softly. "They're not her type."

"And what does a fourteen-year old little brother know about his sister's type?" Weiss asked more curious then anything as he was feeling drained after this.

"They're not even just nerds guys, they're extreme nerds!" Nicholas and Jaxx both laughed thinking about the two boys.

"Lena is extremely intelligent, she needs someone to be able to have decent conversations with and they both said they liked science and astronomy so they should fit the bill." Jack sounded confident in his choices. "I know what's best for my daughter."

"Which isn't always right." Vaughn gave him a look and a smirk, "You said that about Sydney with me and fought like hell against our relationship but it was what was best for her."

Jack glared at his son-in-law while the others laughed knowing Vaughn was right.

"And you were most definitely not what Dmitri wanted for Irina to fall in love with… her enemy target, and yet it was what was best for her." Marcelo raised his eyebrows with a thoughtful expression thinking about his father-in-law and more laughter ensued. "Then again, he really hated the fact that Katya was dating me, an Italian, whom he was certain was only after her for _one thing_ like the rest. He calmed down considerably when he realized I intended to marry her and make a life."

"And I'm sure I'm not at all what you had in mind for Sophia, either." Weiss looked at his father-in-law and when Marcelo smiled they all laughed again.

"No, you weren't. But you made her happier than I'd ever seen and still do today. So I was wrong, I can admit in my assumptions of what I thought I knew was best for my daughter. I thought she needed to be with a man like myself, a doctor or someone else severely grounded because she was so wild but in actuality, she needed someone who was as carefree as herself and appreciated those qualities in her and didn't try to stifle them or make her conform." Marcelo smiled softly and then looked down pouring another glass of wine, "I was fortunate to end up with a son-in-law whom my daughter is crazy about and I can actually stand." He added making everyone laugh again knowing that Marcelo and Weiss got along fabulously.

"So, who is her type then, Cowboy?" Jack asked his son with a small smile interested in hearing his son's opinion.

"_Antony_." Came out in resounding three part chorus from Nicholas, Jaxx and Felix, all the boys who were around their age and good friends with the young man also Lena's age, just a bit older. "He's got it bad for Lena." Nicholas smiled sadly with a shrug.

"Antony." Jack repeated chewing on the inside of his lip. "Why hasn't he made his intentions known then?"

Weiss snorted and burst out laughing, "Made his intentions known? Jack… he's a sixteen-year old boy; he probably has no idea what his intentions even are. They've been best buds since they were five and I'm sure his intentions weren't the same then as they are now… he's probably just as confused about it as she is."

"That's a safe bet. It was the same for Rina and I… best friends since we were little and then things changed and it was very confusing for the both of us." Mikhail smiled softly shaking his head, "Neither one of us wanted to change things but it was obvious they were… so we tried something different and it didn't work and we realized we were much better as best friends… but I think we both needed to 'know' that… experiment in those waters to sort out our feelings."

Jack hated any mentioning of that 'experimental' relationship but he knew it was relevant to the conversation, and in this case, insightful.

"That is so weird that you and Babushka dated, Pa-Pa," Jaxx shook his head only learning recently of the relationship between Irina and Mikhail when he watched the films for the first time and learned the whole truth.

Mikhail laughed looking at his grandson, "Not so weird to me, Jaxx… I knew your Babushka since she was two! Fourteen years before she met your Papa Jack and I met Grand Ma-Ma…"

"I know its just weird because I've only know you with Grand Ma-Ma and Babushka with Papa Jack!" The thirteen-year old shook his head with a soft laugh and smile.

"And that is the way it was meant to be." Mikhail smiled softly and shared a look with Jack. "Isn't Antony coming for Thanksgiving?"

"I was just thinking about that." Jack rubbed his chin.

* * *

_Black Friday – The Day After Thanksgiving_

"So where are we going?" Antony smiled holding Lena's hand as they weaved in and out of the crowd at the beach down by the Santa Monica Pier with her security trying to keep up and the rest of kids with them.

"We're going to go meet a friend of mine." Lena smiled with her eyes scanning the crowd looking for that friend.

"Who?" Antony asked with a hint of trepidation seeing that something had changed with her since he last saw her in July. He'd immediately noticed that she seemed to have only grown more beautiful but something in her voice the last couple of weeks when they talked on the phone before he arrived and in her eyes now; there was something different lurking he'd never heard or seen before.

"His name is Parker. I have to meet him here because Mama and Daddy don't know I've been spending time with him." Lena knew Antony probably wasn't going to like this as she'd always told him everything right away but not this… she'd been dating Parker since she returned to school just after her birthday and after what happened with her father and knowing his feelings on Parker's history, she wasn't about to bring him home.

"Why would they care if you're spending time with this guy?" Antony felt a lump in his throat that his worst fears had come true, she'd come to America and found someone new… without ever having had a shot with her.

"Because my Daddy has gone insane about the guys I date and you heard, he had everyone interrogating them and I knew that Parker would never pass Daddy's test." Lena kept going pulling him along behind her towards the spot where they were all meeting.

"Why wouldn't he pass your father's test? What's wrong with this guy?" Antony was trying to keep his jealousy stamped down with concern taking over listening to her say he wouldn't pass her father's test.

"There is nothing wrong with Parker except for the fact he happens to be the son of my sister's old high school boyfriend, Brian, who took her virginity and Daddy still hates his father for it. He would never let me see Parker just for that reason which is totally unfair." Lena shook her head thinking about what her father's reaction would be if he knew she was dating the guy's son.

"Brian? The guy from the film who _'slept-with-your-drunk-sister-on-the-night-of-her- graduation-and-put-your-mother's-picture-face-down _, Brian?" Antony asked with wide-eyes agreeing with her father instantly that Lena should not be allowed to see that man's son.

"Oh not you, too!" Lena turned her head back just enough to flash her dark eyes and kept going, "You're just as bad as Nicolai!"

Antony's head whipped to the side to see Nicholas wasn't looking too pleased about meeting up with this guy either or the fact she was dating him.

"So you're dating him? Parker… is your boyfriend?" Antony asked quietly with pounding heart feeling her slip away and then literally when she dropped his hand when they came up beside another small group of people.

Nicholas nodded with a '_yes_' answering his question while the guy immediately grabbed Lena around the waist, with one hand to her face and kissed her on the lips with a smile and Antony's heart fell into his stomach.

"Parker, I want to introduce you to my best friend, Antony. Antony, this is Parker." Lena smiled introducing the two and the guys immediately sized each other up.

They were both the same height and build, with well-defined muscles from much activity and both were blondes though Parker's eyes were brown to Antony's blue.

"Antony, I've heard a lot about you." Parker wrapped his arm around Lena's naked waist just over her tied sarong and held his hand out to Antony.

"You have?" Antony accepted his hand and both boys squeezed unnecessarily rough, "I can't say the same about you. She's just told me a little on the way here."

"Well yeah, we have to keep a low profile with her family obviously, as she said her dad would never let her see me based on the fact I'm her older sister's former boyfriend's son," He laughed spitting out that long definition, "And I'm two years older even though we're both Seniors." He smiled at Lena and kissed her head, "Miss Smarty-Pants Russian Girl here is advanced in our American school system… all that extra tutoring you get with the perks of being the next Tsar." He smiled and kissed her again and Antony shared a discomforting look with Nicholas and Jaxx who were standing off to the side.

"I don't think it's necessarily the perks or extra tutoring that make Lena's intelligence advanced… she's just intelligent period." Antony gave her a smile, "She comes from a family of extremely intelligent individuals. She was a born genius." He had always been proud of her brains, as much as her beauty and his heart melted to see her smiling… he had missed that smile.

"Yes, and very mature for her age, too." Parker smiled though eyeing her body and lightly touching the skin above her breast just under collarbone over her bikini top.

Antony's hand immediately balled into a fist at his side having never seen anyone touch Lena like that before in his life. "So how is it that the two of you met?" Antony asked wanting to know everything there was to know about this guy who now separated him from Lena.

"I asked her out after swim practice just after her birthday, I knew she couldn't date until she was sixteen and I'd been wanting to ask her out for a long time. She was not only beautiful, but, intelligent and fun. So, I saw my shot and I took it. I asked her if she wanted to come down here with me to the pier, ride the rides and then go for a walk… I was curious about Russia and wanted to know all about it… She's so fascinating to listen to." Parker smiled with his hands playing with skin around Lena's waist.

_'The guy was smooth.' _Antony had to glare at him.

"We've been spending every chance she can get away from her parents together as we can. I can't get enough of her." Parker kissed her cheek and Lena smiled playfully linking her fingers with his and he kissed her on the lips again.

Being on the beach with them all day, Antony felt like he was being gutted. Lena so gorgeous and smiling and Parker's hands all over her mostly naked bikini clad body with the two playing in the waves and tossing each other under and then tripping each other up in the sand with Lena showing him some basic counter measures she'd mastered long ago in Martial Arts.

Every time Antony tried to talk alone with Lena for a moment, or she to him, Parker was by her side in an instant, dragging her off for some new reason or dominating the conversation.

The day after, Antony and Lena were finally able to spend some time together going to a King's hockey game and having fun just the two of them like old times and completely avoiding the subject of Parker until that night, when she started climbing out her window and he awoke from his bed on the floor, opting to sleep in her room on the floor on an air mattress and sleeping bag than a spare bed so the two of them could talk more.

This wasn't unusual about their relationship as best friends forever and so Jack and Irina had no problem with it. Antony however, had a problem with seeing Lena climbing out her window after disabling the alarm wires by rerouting them to keep the circuit in tact. Sometimes he thought she was too intelligent for her own good and her parent's skills as spies had rubbed off too greatly.

"Where are you going?" He asked in a whisper with a heavy heart, already thinking he knew the answer and looking at her dressed entirely in black.

"I'm going to meet Parker in the park across the street. I haven't seen him all day and I miss him and he misses me so we're going to hang out for awhile." Lena paused on the roof just outside the window and smiled, "I'll only be gone a little while… leave the window open for me… Will you please?"

Antony nodded slowly and gave her a small smile when she finger waved and gave him a hushed 'bye' and then shimmed down off roof of the porch and dropped down.

She did slide back through the window hours later and into bed believing him to be asleep but he lay there awake all night and his heart was further shattered into fine dust the next day, when they were out with Parker and friends again and he'd heard the older guy telling his buddies, "She's amazing, guys… you'd never believe she was a virgin before or only sixteen. Lena's unlike any other girl I've been with… you saw the movies right?" He'd snickered referring to her mother's films, "Well, the apple didn't fall far from the Mother Russia tree in that department either… she's just amazing. We can't get enough of each other. She snuck out again last night just so we can be together. It's like I've unleashed a sex crazed beast." He laughed softly with his friends and Antony felt like he was going to vomit.

He wanted to say something, or do something but looking at Lena with the other girls laughing across the room, smiling as he'd never seen her smile, he couldn't break her heart or lose her any further by getting in the middle of her relationship.

His pain turned to silence, which was quite noted by Irina on the return flight to Russia when he flew back with her a couple of days later. Over the next few weeks the silence turned to anger that he couldn't explain or knew what to do with that Lena could just cast him aside without ever giving him and them a chance when he told her with that kiss at the last party that he'd felt more for her than just best friends, knowing her 16th birthday was approaching, and finally they'd be able to explore their relationship. She seemed to have taken the kiss as a 'kiss off' instead, and with her new found freedom and she'd taken off and run with it.

His mind set became that if _'she could go off and have fun not thinking about him at all while she was in America, then he would do the same in Russia and not think about her._' This was his delusion of course because as he found himself a Russian girlfriend and started fooling around with her which then led to sleeping together, he still couldn't get Lena out of his mind… or the fact that she was across the other side of the world sleeping with Parker… laughing with him and 'missing Parker' when she didn't see him for only a day… yet not missing Antony, when she hadn't seen him in months.

When Christmas rolled around and Lena and family returned to Russia for the holiday, Antony had gone to stay with his grandparents in Italy, simply telling Lena he was sorry he was going to miss her this trip, maybe he'd see her the next time and that was it. He'd left her Christmas present with Dmitri at the palace on the day before he knew they would arrive home, he was avoiding her. It hurt too much to look at her and not be able to be with her now.

Being best friends was no longer enough though he tried as hard as he could to settle for that now… and settling was just what he was doing by accepting anything less. He knew he'd always be there for her when she needed him, but right now he was too bitter and angry to trust himself not to say something or do something that would hurt her.

* * *

**_*What You Waiting For*_**

_March 2019_

Lena stuffed her clothes into her back pack with Anya, Nadia doing the same while a sleepy Eva slid into Lena's bed having been awoken many times now for just this purpose. Lena realized that her parents must have had their suspicions on alert recently as well as her older sister because they'd looked in on her more then a few times in the recent weeks in the middle of the night to make sure she was in her room sleeping. She'd almost been caught just sliding into bed one night and held her breath until her father closed the door. Sydney had almost caught her a couple of weeks ago doing the same when she was staying the house while their parents had returned to Russia on business. Eva had come in very useful as the dark haired body in the bed that they were looking for, not coming fully enough into the room to see it was actually Eva instead of Lena.

"Thanks again, Sweetie." Lena kissed her niece's forehead with a smile smoothing her hair off her head though her eyes were still closed.

"You owe me, remember that." Eva whispered with a mischievous grin knowing full well she planned on slipping security when she was old enough to actually go places and do things. She was still too young to slip into the dance clubs they were going to but next year she might make it in. Her aunts and sister had a way of being able to look older then they were and slip into places easier with Lena's older boyfriend. Tonight, they were going to a frat party with Parker at the University of Southern California.

"My mom is going to kill me! This is a terrible idea! We're going to get caught!" Anya whispered crawling out the window in her own black outfit with backpack following her aunts Lena and Nadia who were escaping in front of her.

"Ah, nah… Syd will be fine. Don't worry, she'll be cool." Nadia smiled creeping down the roof. "Come on! What are you waiting for?" She asked with as soft laugh seeing her niece hesitating by the window.

"Easy for you to say! She's your sister but she's 'my mother!" Anya shook her head creeping after her, "If we get caught you two only have to feel Babushka's wrath… I have to deal with both my Mom and Babushka!"

Nadia and Lena both laughed softly knowing that was true and then spotted a security agent and flattened themselves against the roof, pointing up to the tree limb from their neighbors yard that stretched into theirs. Lena climbed up onto the higher part of the roof and grabbed onto it first having had to use this means of escape before and shimmed over the branch into the neighbors tree above the guards head, knowing that if he saw them, he'd have to report it to her parents or older sister who was watching them tonight.

They were hanging by their arms dropping one by one softly into the neighbors yard when Nadia's eyes met with that of her neighbor boy's who was five. He'd been looking out his window next to his bed hearing the noise from his open window and soft giggle and his eyes widened to see the three young women in black looking back at him.

She put her finger to her lips and whispered "Shhh" and then winked at him and quickly took off into the shadows with her sister and niece.

Sydney could hardly believe it when the neighbor woman came over and rang the bell in the middle of night and told her that her son swore he saw three girls dressed in black climbing out of the tree by his window and Sydney shook her head, having just checked in on Lena and saw her sleeping in bed. For weeks her parents had suspected something was going on but always found Lena in her bed asleep which tripped them up and Sydney laughed at them, saying they were paranoid when they asked she look in on Lena once a night as well, but now she shared the paranoia. Sydney thanked the woman who was concerned the girls were out and about in Los Angeles without the protection of their details, and went back upstairs to look in on Lena.

She opened the door and saw her in bed and furrowed her brow about to shut the door when she walked in further and around the bed to look at her sister's face. Her eyes widened when she saw it was her own daughter, Eva.

"Eva!" She knelt down quickly and shook her child's shoulder, and then eyes flashing to the window across the room that was mostly shut except for a finger width sliver on the bottom and spotted the rewiring. "Where's Lena?"

Eva looked up at her mother like a deer in headlights, for a moment and then started talking quickly, "She went out with Anya and Nadia to a party that's all I know… Don't worry," She saw the look of concern flash across her mother's eyes, "They always come back in the morning."

"Always come back in the morning?" Sydney practically shouted, "How often do they sneak out?"

Eva's eyes went wide realizing she had just given more information away, "Not every night but it's the only way Lena can see her boyfriend. She said Papa Jack would go nuts and not let her see him if she knew who he was and how old he was."

"What?" Sydney did shout this time with wide eyes having no idea how she was going to be able to explain this one to her parents. That Lena was sneaking off in the middle of the night on a regular basis to be with her older boyfriend whom none of them knew anything about. "Where are they now?"

"I don't know, Mommy." Eva used her best little girl voice with the added Mommy thrown in there hoping it would get her out of some trouble. "But they'll come back, they always do."

"Go back to your bed." Sydney was fuming but kissed her daughter's forehead, "We'll talk about why this is wrong in you helping her tomorrow. I love you, now go." She pointed towards the door and watched her thirteen year old leave.

Nadia was the first to come back through the window just before sunrise with Anya right behind her and wheeled around frozen to see her sister sitting in the chair in the far corner of the room staring at them.

"Would you move a little please, I can't get in." Lena pushed her niece a little bit trying to climb through the window fully and close it and turned around when they weren't moving to say something when Sydney's eyes pinned her in place. "Nee-Nee…" She gasped.

Sydney remained absolutely still with cup of tea in hand and looked at them with a slight predatory smile to see the look on their faces. "Care to explain?"

"Okay, before you get all mad and freak out and tell Mama and Daddy just hear me out please?" Lena begged taking off her backpack that held her party clothes. "This is the only way I can see my boyfriend outside of school because the Security Detail would follow me and then report back to Mama and Daddy and they would freak out and not let me see him anymore and that's just not fair! Because its your fault not mine they wouldn't like Parker." She instantly regretted blaming her sister for this with her high emotions seeing Sydney's eyebrows rise.

"And why would it be my fault exactly that they wouldn't let you see this boyfriend of yours whom we all know nothing about?" Sydney sat forward in her chair.

"Because Parker is Brian… _your ex-boyfriend who took your virginity while you were both drinking and put Mama's picture face down so she couldn't watch_, son…" Lena spit out rapidly and eyes flashed between Sydney and her own daughter who was chewing on her lip looking down. "They would never let me date Parker just for that reason and that's not fair, Nee-Nee!"

Sydney swallowed hard completely blown off kilter with this revelation and knowing that Brian had a son around Lena's age but never thinking about the fact that they went to the same school or were in the same class and certainly never thinking that her little sister would actually date her ex's son!

"I had Nadia and Anya come with me because I don't like to go alone and Mama always says there are safety in numbers so please don't be angry with them. I brought them along for protection." Lena tried to deflect her little sister and niece from getting in trouble because of her. "I swear to you, Nee-Nee we didn't do anything with them except dance and talk and then we came right home. Please don't tell Mama and Daddy because they will make me stop seeing Parker and I'll get in trouble and I'm not really doing anything wrong. I'm just dating a guy they don't approve of."

"How long have you been seeing Parker?" Sydney sighed rubbing her temples and feeling torn as the understanding sister and protective upset mother.

"Since just after my birthday." Lena answered quietly, "Please, Nee-Nee… don't tell them. I promise I won't sneak out on you anymore if you don't tell them just please… it's not fair! I'm a Senior and I'm not allowed out to see the guy I want or go anywhere without a Security Detail and its driving me crazy."

"Why didn't you come to me then? Months ago and we could have tried to figure something out and talk to Mom and Dad about it. It would have been a lot easier then, instead of what has been going on now… Do you realize they've been suspicious of you sneaking out for weeks now but could never prove it always finding you in bed?" Sydney stood up frustrated pointing to the empty bed where only Nana lay now at the bottom. "It's only a matter of time before they caught you!"

"I know! And I've been more careful not sneaking out as much-" Lena tried desperately to explain.

"Do you know how dangerous this is?" Sydney fired back with her motherly concern edging out the sisterly understanding, "You're the Tsarevicha of Imperial Russia, only sixteen roaming around in Los Angeles without any protection!"

"I can protect myself! Mama and you have trained me!" Lena got angry tears in her eyes hating the restrictions on her life.

"If you were so able to protect yourself why did you take these two with you?" Sydney lobbed right back knowing quite well her sister's lethal combat skills from sparring with her on many occasions but that still didn't account for the unknown factors still dangerously lurking out there.

"Because I was being extra precautious just like Mama always says! And I'm sick of being restricted and I should be able to go out and do things with my friends without having a Security Detail following my every move just because I'm royalty!" Lena cried with her hot tears tracking down her face.

"Even if you weren't royalty, roaming around in Los Angeles at sixteen is crazy for a any girl!" Sydney hated to see her cry, but was angry with fear, "I wasn't royalty at sixteen and Dad still would have killed me if I ever snuck out to go downtown alone! That's just crazy for any girl to do at this age!"

"Nee-Nee, please! Stop thinking like my mother and be my sister!" Lena cried.

Sydney felt like she'd been kicked in the gut hearing that for the first time and realizing it was true, she was reacting as a mother, as if this were Anya but it wasn't… it was her sister and she knew it wasn't fair. She knew that if she and Lena were sisters that were closer in age, she would see her sister's point of view in why she was hiding this from her parents, and try to help her, not hinder her… just as Nadia was doing… as her own daughter was doing. Two girls the same age who loved her and were trying to help because they did see it the way Lena did. She understood this bond as she and Francie used to do the same thing with her parents and her Nanny and father when he was around on occasion.

"Nadia understands why can't you?" Lena cried out trying to hold back a sob saying aloud what Sydney had just been thinking and saw Nadia's eyes filled with tears and she looked away feeling badly, "Please Nee-Nee… don't tell them… You know they're not going to let me keep seeing Parker if you do!"

Sydney was quiet a moment having taken a deep breath and looking at the three before her, all had tears in their eyes with Lena's spilling wildly down her cheeks and she stepped forward pulling her sister into her arms, hugging her.

"I won't say anything now… but we're going to sit them down after they've been home a couple of days, so as not to just spring this on them, and tell them about Parker and I'll help you get past their obstructed view of him because of my relationship forever ago with his dad… okay?"

"Thank you, Nee-Nee! Thank you!" Lena held her more tightly crying and smiling in relief.

"Am I in trouble, Mom?" Anya shifted nervously on her feet seeing that her aunt had been able to clear the punishment fence snare because they were sisters but she was her daughter and it was different.

"No, you're not in trouble." Sydney smiled softly through her tears and motioned both Anya and Nadia over into the hug, "I can't get mad at you for going along with her to try and help and keep her safe but next time something like this happens… come to me," She cupped Lena's face, "If you want me to treat you like my sister then treat me like your sister… share these secrets with me and I'll try to help you the way big sisters are supposed to, okay?" She smiled softly with a laugh.

"I'm sorry, Nee-Nee… I didn't tell this only because I know you don't like keeping things from Mama and I didn't want you to have to lie to her… I know she's been suspecting I've been sneaking out and she would probably be okay eventually with me dating Parker if I talked to her about it but I know Daddy would not and then that would cause an issue with them and I don't want that either and I just didn't know what to do because I didn't know who to talk to about this… Antony stopped talking to me and I just didn't know what to do!" Lena rambled on crying and then hiccupping and trying to calm herself.

"It's okay… I understand." Sydney kissed her sister, actually seeing it from her point of view now and it wasn't easy. "We'll figure it out. I love you, all of you." She kissed all of their heads holding them in her arms, "Now go to bed, please."

"Thank you." Lena smiled again with teary eyes and Sydney couldn't help but see and hear their mother in that look, that tone and that was made this so hard. She did hate keeping anything from their mother

* * *

**_*Do Your Thing*_**

_Four Days Later…_

Lena slipped out of her window to see Parker one last time before tomorrow when Sydney was coming over to sit down with their parents with her and tell them about Parker, but she had to see him one more time, just in case… Nadia was staying behind to sleep in her bed and 'act' as the body for her and promised it would be very quick, meeting Parker just across the street at the park. She knew that with her parents both home, the number of guards was down to one around the immediate property patrolling both front and back yards and timed it so he would be in the back yard while she escaped off the front porch.

She was dressed head to toe in her quiet black slippers, yoga pants and form fitting tee with a light zippered sweatshirt to ward off the cool night air yet still let her blend into the blackness. She had stayed in bed long enough to see her mother check in on her once and then slipped out. She peered around the corner of the house and to spot the guard's back and then quickly but quietly moved down the porch roof towards the front of the house, turned around gripping the edge and let herself drop into a hanging position.

"Shit…" Lena swore in Russian under her breath coming face to face hanging there with her mother and father both sitting in the porch swing with wide eyes looking at her, just as surprised to see her as she them.

They'd come out in the middle of the night as they often did to sit and swing together and were more than surprised and yet, not with suspicions confirmed true, to see Lena hanging off the roof in front of them wearing all black and sneaking off. Lena let go of the roof and dropped into the grass just in front of the porch railing and watched her parents eyes flash across the street and whipped her head to see what they were looking at.

Parker had stepped out of the shadows into the illuminated park bench like he always did waiting for her, and was now frozen in place realizing she'd obviously just been caught when he saw both Jack and Irina stand up coming out of their own shadow and Lena frozen in place.

Jack was instantly horrified to see that his little girl was sneaking off into the night to meet with a boy, not a boy but a young man who looked to be at least two years older then Lena and his heart sunk and fists balled with anger all at the same time.

Lena panicked and shook her head 'no' and Parker turned and started running like a bolt of lightening as fast as he could fearing for his life. Slowly she turned around in the dead silence and caught the thunderstorm on her father's stone walled face and the flash of fire in her mother's eyes and ran as fast as she could into the house slamming doors behind her to block their path in her panic and flying into the kitchen, grabbing the phone hearing them coming in the door just behind her as she pressed speed dial.

"Hello?" Sydney's voice groggily answered.

"Nee-Nee, come quick! They caught me!" Lena gasped in a rush seeing her parents now standing in front of the kitchen door blocking her exit like a wall of terror and dropped the phone backing up slowly away from them advancing.

Jack walked forward picking up the phone where he heard Sydney's voice calling out to Lena, "You knew about this?" He asked with a voice like glass.

"Dad… just-" Was all Sydney was able to get out before he hung up on her.

"He hung up on me!" Sydney looked at Vaughn astonished and flew out of bed knowing her sister was in some serious shit if her father was that angry. Lena would be locked away in her room like a princess in a fairytale tower if her father had his way.


	50. Chapter 50

FIFTY

o

"Daddy, just calm down." Lena backed up until she hit the wall on the far end of the kitchen and he kept coming slowly like death towards her. She slithered along the wall looking with frantic eyes for a way out. "It's not what it looks like."

"It's not what it looks like? You sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to meet a boy… who is obviously older then you… and it seems you've been doing this for quite some time and," He emphasized the 'and' with a steely gaze borderline homicidal, "Your sister is apparently aware of this? You'd better start explaining."

"I'd prefer not talk until Sydney gets here. We were going to sit you down and tell you tomorrow." Lena gulped with tears forming in her eyes.

"Sit us down? And tell us what?" Irina finally spoke with a slanted eyebrow and drop in her heart at what this could mean.

"Mama, I'd really rather wait until Sydney got here. I don't want us to fight." Her eyes glistened with tears remembering the last time she fought with her mother about something she really wanted and it went horribly wrong and she ended up hurting her mother, which was the last thing she wanted in the world right now.

"Why would we fight?" Irina asked with a cocked eyebrow seeing the difference in Lena's eyes as her daughter tried to avoid her gaze, "What is it that you can't tell me? Talk to me about? I thought we could talk about everything?"

"Mama…" Lena's heart was breaking at seeing her mother think that she was withholding more then just this…the look in her eyes that was silently wondering what else Lena hadn't told her about. "We can talk about everything and I have told you everything…everything but this… please, I'm not trying to hurt you or fight with you can we please just wait until Nee-Nee gets here?"

"I want to know what it is that you can go to your sister about and want her protection from us over, but not me? What have I done?" Irina asked in small voice hating to be left out of the loop on anything.

"Mama, you haven't done anything." Lena cried softly plastered against the wall.

"Then why can't you talk to me right now? Why do you think you have to wait for Sydney?" Irina's voice was bordering on pleading and demanding.

"Because I don't want us to fight!" Lena sobbed, "I hate fighting with you."

"Who says we're going to fight? I'm standing here listening and rather calm considering, waiting for you to explain and you don't want to?" Irina felt her own tears start to form.

"I do want to explain to you! But it's something I really want that you're not going to want me to have… or at least Daddy isn't going to let me and then you'll argue, and I'm going to fight you both on it and then we'll all be fighting and I don't want to fight any of us I just want to wait for Nee-Nee and she'll help explain…" Lena sobbed softly.

"How long have you been sneaking out to meet with this boy?" Jack asked with voice like gravel as his gut roiled at the thought.

"Daddy-" Lena tried to deflect and was immediately shut down with his sharp voice that made her jump.

"_How long?"_ He yelled a demand in a voice she hadn't heard him yell at her with since the last fight they all had and he was telling her to go to her room when she was thirteen. "How long have you been sneaking out to meet with this boy?" He yelled louder again.

Lena's face contorted into a held back sob and she started shaking uncontrollably with rivers of tears pouring from her eyes.

"Since just after my birthday." She whispered out through clouded tears and thick trembling voice. Not scared of her father but the tone, it sent something off inside her she couldn't explain except she felt the need to curl into a ball and hold herself tightly to protect herself.

"_Almost five months!"_ Jack boomed and slammed his fist down against the kitchen table making it bounce and Lena tremble violently and start sliding down the wall as her legs began giving out.

"_Jack!_" Irina yelled at him seeing the reaction from their daughter who was flashing back to her own hell she couldn't even remember but Irina did, Cuvee's loud booming voice screaming at her to choose between her daughters, and she was at Lena's side instantly.

Lena flinched under her touch at first and then turned into her and began sobbing when they both hit the floor and that's the moment Sydney walked into the kitchen. Her father with pulsating waves of angered heat rolling from his every pore and hands balled into fists with her sister on the floor with legs pulled up and curled into a ball sobbing almost silently and trembling something fierce with their mother curling her into her chest.

"Since she seems to be incapable of explaining anything to us without you here, why don't you shed some light on this, Sydney as its obvious you've been keeping this from us too!" Jack turned his head and anger towards her, "I cannot believe you kept this from us and condoned this kind of irresponsible reckless behavior! You're a mother for God-sake!"

"Yes! But I'm not hers! She's my sister! Not my daughter and I'll be there for her as a sister whenever she needs me! And that is my responsibility to her!" Sydney fired back feeling her own anger burning with her father once again flying off the handle and seeing now more then ever, why Lena was afraid of this conversation and remembering why she kept things from him in her teenage years as well… He was so stubborn sometimes he was just purely unreasonable; "I haven't been keeping this from you forever! I just learned of it myself a week ago and we were going to sit you both down tomorrow and talk to you about it calmly not like this! This is what she was afraid of!" Sydney flung her own arms around waving at her father's incensed rage and Lena cowering on the floor in tears. "You flying off the handle like you always do and not hearing anything she had to say!"

"And just how am I supposed to react when I catch her in the middle of sneaking out and see this boy across the street she's running off with and then she comes flying into the house away from us immediately calls you to come save her?" Jack fired back with hands flailing and ears burning red with the anger fueled inside.

"Like a rational father which you seem to be incapable of when it comes to your daughters!" She couldn't believe that all these years later and he was still crazy like this when it came to his girls. The last time she had seen him like this was when he'd gone off on her mother in Jakarta. "She knew you'd never give her boyfriend a shot just because of who his father was and that's not fair!"

"Who?" Jack fired back.

"Brian's son Parker." Sydney sighed heavily.

"Your old boyfriend from high schools son?" Jack looked at her incredulously, "The one who got you drunk and had sex with you upstairs? Oh that's just great!" He threw his arms up in the air, "You're damn right I wouldn't have let any son of that man date another one of my daughters and I would have been right too! As it seems that apple didn't fall far from the tree with this Parker sneaking off with Lena in the middle of the night for the last five months for the same damn reason!"

"That is not the reason!" Lena suddenly unfurled from her ball with blinding tears and sobbing face of anger, "I am not sneaking off in the middle of the night to have sex with him! You don't know anything!"

"What other reason is there then to be sneaking of in the middle of the night if not so you can meet up him to have sex?" Jack raged back at her feeling a loss of control that this had been going on for so long and he had no idea.

"I am not having sex with him!" Lena screamed back still trembling violently. "I'm not having sex with him! I told you I wasn't and you don't believe me?"

"No, I don't! I don't believe anything you say right now!" Jack screamed back, "Why should I believe you about that, when you've been lying to us about this for months and sneaking off behind our backs and the only reason its coming out now is because we caught you!"

"I've never lied to you, Daddy! Or Mama! Never! I never slept with him!" Lena screamed and tore away from Irina with raging tears and flew out of the house and down the steps and was gone before anyone could grab her.

Sydney had to bite her tongue from telling him in that moment 'she now thought she was the lucky child in not having him around in her teenage years.'

"I'm going after her." Irina threw a glare at Jack and spun around only to be caught in the arm by Sydney.

"No, you're not." Her own eyes watered with fiery tears from hearing her father screaming at her sister calling her a liar about something so personal, "You're going to sit here with him," she nodded at her father, "While I straighten a few things out and snap you people back into some respectable form of parents and then… if she's not home we'll go look for her but I think right now, she could use some time to clear her head as much as you two do! Sit!" She pointed them both over to the kitchen table in her own ordering tone she hadn't used in a long time, perhaps even since they were being impossible in Kashmir.

They took their seats and Sydney paced, "Dad, I realize that this is your first time actually raising a teenage daughter but the first thing you absolutely don't do is call them a liar about having sex when they tell you they aren't!" She tried not to scream at him, "To do so is basically telling her that you think she's a whore and a slut!" Jack was horrified to hear that as she continued, "She's telling you the truth and if you'd stopped raging at her for one second and looked into her eyes you'd see the truth she's not trying to hide from you! The only reason they're sneaking off at night is to see each other outside of school and the watchful eyes of the security detail they know would report back to you! They're not doing anything sinister or sexual just spending time together in the stolen moments they have because you've already outlawed them before giving them a chance and her fears for not telling you were quite founded when you just admitted that you would have never let her date Parker just because I lost my virginity to his father which is ridiculous!" Her eyes flashed to her father's with hands waving towards her mother, "That'd be like you refusing to let me see Vaughn because Mom lost her's to his father! Ridiculous! Mikhail is not a bad guy for taking Mom's virginity just as Brian isn't a bad guy for taking mine, and its unfair to judge their children on that fact alone! That's the irrational jealous side of your brain taking over again! I agreed to help her try to make you see that and understand… give the kid a chance which is what we were going to do tomorrow, not wanting to spring it on you right when you got back, but you caught her first!" She took a deep breath and sighed before charging forth, "She hasn't liked going behind your backs and has felt guilty as hell for it because she does tell you everything, Mom,"

Her teary eyes flashed mid-pace to her mother, "And she knew you'd probably be more rational in seeing it her way but she knew Dad would go completely bananas and then you two would argue over her and she hates to see the two of you angry at each other or hurt just like the rest of us! So avoided it as long as she could! She didn't know what to do and without being able to talk to you she had no one until I found out! This doesn't suddenly make her evil or an untrustworthy person, Dad! And you just basically screamed that at her because of this one incident where she wasn't actually flat out lying to you, that you don't trust anything she says anymore!" Her tears would not be held back any longer and it was going to cut but he needed to be made more aware of it, "And your screaming at her like that, in your loud booming voice… apparently you missed it in your rage once again as you did when you yelled at her in Mom's defense three years ago, but you doing that triggers the memory inside her of Cuvee breaking Lena's bones and screaming at Mom to choose between she and I! Your voice and his are the only ones she's ever heard yelling in a rage like that."

Jack swallowed hard with tears in his eyes remembering when she was a baby and how Lena would get scared of his voice after he'd yelled at Irina in Jakarta and then promised her tiny little form after realizing how often his baby girl had heard him using that 'scary' voice that he'd stop… so that she wouldn't be afraid of him… and Cuvee had taken the fear he created and expounded times a thousand and now he was the one breaking his promise again.

"Could you not see her trembling, Dad?… That she was so scared with the reminder of that tone of male voice you had her literally cowering on the floor? I'm not saying this to be mean or cruel but you need to be made aware of it! That voice is why she's so scared of you and Mom arguing even if she knows you're not going to hurt Mom, it's a fear she can't help, because of a reminder, she doesn't remember enough to know how to let go and why she didn't want the two of you fighting over this!" She waved her hands around indicating the situation with Parker.

"Remember the conversation I had with you in Jakarta that morning after you fought with Mom?" Her teary eyes softened a little, "About the importance of a father's role in his daughter's life? Dad you're pushing her away because you refuse to listen to what she has to say. Always saying you know what's best instead of taking the time to find out from Lena herself, what would be best for 'her.' You're just trying to control everything because you want to keep her safe and protected and that's all that matters to you, or so you think in your mind at the time and you're falling back into the same pattern you did with me." She pointed to herself with fingers tapping roughly against her chest and quivering voice, "Please… learn from your mistakes with me and don't make them with her… Don't make her push you out because you have a closed mind and heart. She's already doing it because she doesn't think you'll really listen to her… or care what she has to say and you proved that tonight by not believing her when she told you the truth about not having sex with Parker and then calling her a liar… You want her to respect you… to come to you and tell you these truths but you're not respecting her… not when you don't really listen to what she has to say or try to look at it from her side…" She reached across the table and squeezed his hand with tears still falling, "Please Dad… the sixteen year old girl that I once was is begging you not to do this to her too." She held back a small sob and stood kissing her mother's forehead and then leaving the kitchen, "I'll go find her."

"I've failed as a father… again." Jack sighed heavily looking down at the table and his hands, shaking his head softly with tears dripping onto the table.

"No," Irina reached across with both hands and her own tears falling, "You haven't failed… you just got temporarily derailed down an old path but you can get right back on and start heading in the right direction again."

"If I fail with Lena and Nadia… I'm failing Sydney all over again… I don't want to do that, I don't want to fail my girls. I swore I wouldn't do that again and I've now managed not only to mess it up with Lena and fail her, but fail Sydney a second time in the process." He sniffled and Irina came around the table to sit in his lap and hold him. "I can't believe I told Lena I didn't believe anything she said… that I called her a liar about having sex with that kid and according to Sydney… basically told my daughter I thought she was a whore… My God I'm bastard." He shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe I didn't see it… Sydney saw it… You saw it…" He thought about the way Irina had curled around Lena protectively, shielding her from his tirade, "You curled around her when you saw her trembling… you were trying to protect her from me-"

"No! Jack, I was not trying to protect her from you! I was just holding her, protecting her from the unseen demons she doesn't know how to battle, but I do… its not your fault for not seeing it… Sydney and I were there…" She swallowed hard remembering that horrid night locked in that little room in the warehouse with Cuvee, "That's why we saw it right away." Irina cupped his face thumbing his tears while her own raged on.

"Irina, I've seen her tremble like that enough when she was little… knowing what it was from that I should have been able to see it now… and this time I was the cause of it." He sighed, "Somewhere in my mind I knew when you said my name to try to get me to stop why… you were saying it, watched you go to her… I just felt so out of control with the situation feeling so blindsided all I could think about was that she'd kept this from us for months and assumed the worst… why do I do that? Why do I instantly assume the worst about the people I love the most? I did that with you too, with Dubey… Why do I do that?"

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew what had set him off and why this was different with Lena… why he was so harsh to her and it was because she reminded him so much of her mother, his mind was in those moments mixing the two… letting old thoughts and memories of feelings from assuming the worst about Irina going off with Dubey and withholding information from him and then to have Lena going off with some boy withholding information from him… in his rage they started to blur.

Lena looked so much like her mother, sounded so much like her and fought so much like her he'd lost sight in the middle that it wasn't her. He had done the same thing to Sydney at the same age… seeing so much of her mother in her and wanting to 'fight' back at the woman he was married to who had betrayed him, he saw coming back at him in Sydney's eyes and he'd lose sight in that rage that it wasn't the woman who betrayed him he was yelling at but his daughter.

"Because just like Lena… just like me, and just like Sydney… you too have the memories of the past experiences that sometimes merge into the present and it's not your fault anymore then it is ours." Irina was looking into his eyes and could see exactly what he'd been thinking, knew that he was mixing Lena with her betrayals to him in the past. "We've made mistakes, Jack… both of us and many… and we haven't made very many in a long time. We are learning and have learned a lot already… I've seen the change between the two of you since her birthday… saw something different in you in the way you related to her and thought about her since all those boys showed up and I saw that loss of control in you… I've been watching it slowly spiral out of control since then and I should have said something, done something before now to prevent this so I'm just as much at fault for tonight as you." She rested her forehead against his with her fingers twirling in the hair at the back of his neck. "What is it, Jack… about her being able to date boys that caused you to start sliding back into that dictator-father-ship that you were with Sydney?"

"You're right… things did change for me that morning… for the first time in a long time I felt I was losing control of a situation I thought I had fairly well under control. I didn't know how I was going to be able to protect her from all the new 'threats' that came in the male form… I panicked and immediately fell back into the only thing I knew in how to deal with a teenage daughter… control everything and leave nothing up for discussion. Sydney might have hated me for my choices, I always knew that… but at least she was safe, was protected… at least until I failed her eventually in that too." He shook his head thinking about SD-6 getting a hold of her, "Her happiness came second to her being safe and as long as she was safe, I could live with the rest. I guess I thought the same with Lena… that it was okay to sacrifice her happiness for now, as long as I knew she was safe and more capable of assessing her own threats. I did it with Sydney and it was so wrong… I knew that and I was never going to do that again but it was all I knew… so I panicked and fell back on it rather then take the chance of her getting hurt by some guy and instead… the some guy that ended up hurting her was me."

"Jack, at some point in time, she's going to get her heart broken… and its going to break mine, and it going to break yours… but its inevitable." Irina sighed with forehead still pressed to his and tears abating, "We can try to protect her from it, all we want but its inevitable. It's a part of growing up and how we learn and become who we are from the experiences we go through. Some times we just need to go through them. We just need to make sure we're there to help pick up the pieces…thats our job as parents. To be there and hold her when she cries and gets upset and talk her through it and tell her she will survive. That is where we both failed with Sydney… not being there and why we won't fail again." She laughed softly with a smile and new tears, "I think Sydney will make sure of that as you saw tonight…our daughter really is amazing," She smiled wiping at her tears falling again with a smile thinking about how incredible Sydney really was, "This is new for all of us, Jack… its bound to be bumpy but we'll make it through and we'll get it right this time…for all of us. We just need to learn from this and go on and try not to make the same mistake again."

* * *

"Hey," Sydney came up behind Lena who was sitting with legs pulled up under her in a large booth chair at Union Station, "I finally found you." She smiled sitting down softly next to her.

"It's quiet here and where normal people are." Lena wiped at a new stray fallen tear and sniffled.

"I know; that's why I used to come here… still do sometimes." Sydney looked around smiling with a whimsical tone. "Nadia told me you started coming here after starting school last fall…for some time away and to yourself to think." She turned back speaking softly not adding the fact that Lena, according to Nadia had been there thinking mostly about Antony, how much she missed him and having her best friend around.

"Yeah…" Lena continued to stare out at the people passing already on their way in their long Los Angeles commutes that started at four in the morning. "Do you believe me, Nee-Nee? That I've never slept with Parker?" She asked in almost a whisper, wanting to know what her sister thought.

"Yes, I believe you." Sydney squeezed her hand, "Dad does too… he just freaks out sometimes and doesn't stop to think about what he's doing or saying… he used to do the same thing with me. I've come to realize as I've gotten older its because he felt like his life was so out of control after Mom left and he learned the truth… that in controlling me he was, in his mind… was able to take back some of the control he thought Mom took from him. That because I looked so much like her, acted-like her… was her daughter that by controlling me, he was controlling the person who had betrayed him. I think tonight he fell back into that pattern because he didn't know what to do… He's never really 'raised' a teenager before so its like you're getting all the first time mistakes too." Her hand reached up to her sister's face and gently brushed the falling tear with a smile, "And you look more like Mom and sound more like her then I ever have… so much alike its almost eerie… in a good way of course," She laughed softly, "So I'm sure that had something to do with his blurring of old memories and emotions in trying to deal with the situation."

"Is he really that angry at Mama, still…" Lena flashed her teary dark eyes to her sister with question, concern and wonder.

"No he's not angry with her at all anymore," Sydney brushed the other cheek's tears and gently cupped her face after running her hair over her ear, "It's just that he still has those memories of what happened and memories of those emotions and how he felt and reacted… just like Mom and I do and sometimes they get pulled out in similar situations and can temporarily blur the situation in the present." She turned more into the back of the big pea green cushiony seat and pulled her knees up too, "He did the same thing in Jakarta with Mom when his mind got stuck in the past with those emotions instead of listening to his heart and what he knew was true."

Lena wiped at another tear nodding softly remembering well that heart breaking scene from the film and reading it in her mother's books and from her father's point of view and could see how tonight had been sort of the same.

"And he knows in his heart that you didn't lie to him either and nothing happened with Parker its just his mind was so wound up with the loss of control and mixing emotions he let his mouth run away with him. He loves you, he really does and that's why he reacted so harshly. He's scared of something happening to you as much as Mom is at times for the same and different reasons especially when it comes to you and guys. Because of what happened to Mom… in prison and after with the bastardass... he's just very protective of the women he loves around men… he has a hard time trusting any man with the female pieces of his heart." She smiled softly and wiped at her own tears burning trails down her cheeks, "I talked to them and I think they're okay… and he's calmed down and trying to look at it from your point of view…How are you, are you okay?" She ran her hands gently up and down the sides of Lena's arms looking into her eyes searchingly and intent.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Lena nodded softly giving a weak smile and blinking out new tears at the same time, "Thanks for being such a great Big Sister… I mean that really. I feel so lucky that you're mine and that you came over and stuck up for me."

"That is what sisters are for." Sydney smiled with her own new tears, "And I think you're a pretty great little sister and I'm so thankful that you're mine. From the day I first found out Mom was having you… I was so excited because I'd wanted you practically my whole life." Her smile widened with Lena's, "We're going to have to talk to them later about you still seeing Parker and they're undoubtedly going to want to meet him and his parents but don't worry, I'll be there with you and I really do think… Dad's going to try very hard to keep an open mind and see things from your perspective from now on."

"Okay," Lena wiped at her eyes and smiled softy and Sydney stood, reaching her hand out and waiting for Lena to take it and the two walked off with linked arms and hands in their own sweatshirt pockets. "Will you stay the rest of the night?" Lena asked getting into Sydney's vehicle, having arrived herself by combination running and riding the rails.

"I need to go home and check in and then I'll be back right about the time you wake up." Sydney smiled knowing her sister was nervous about, facing their father after such a scary encounter. "Then we'll talk to them, bring Parker over and his parents and settle everything… okay?"

Lena nodded and turned her attention back to staring out the window watching the city fly by outside.

* * *

When Sydney dropped Lena off at home, Jack and Irina were waiting up at the kitchen table and heard Lena go upstairs immediately to her room and it was heartbreaking to know she was going to go to bed upset. Jack knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep and with the look that passed between his eyes and Irina's, she kissed him on the lips and went to help their daughter in the ways he could not.

Irina knocked softly on the door and heard no response and then the sound of the water and knew that Lena was in her bathroom taking a shower and came inside, sitting in the window seat and petting Nana's head when the dog laid it over her lap in silence waiting for her daughter to come out.

Lena jumped slightly to see her mother waiting for her and didn't speak as she pulled on an old AC/DC t-shirt that had been Irina's and well worn and one of Lena's favorites. She and Nadia had both loved the stash that was saved and called them 'vintage' to Eric and Sydney's 'classic' and she wasn't sure which was worse in making her feel more old.

"I'm sorry, Mama." Lena turned from her dresser after staring for a moment at a picture there of she and her mother in the gardens at Alexander just before the sunset when she was only a year old. Katya she'd learned had taken it and it was on that day her mother and father had found out they were having the twins. She loved the picture because you could see the love between them even then with the laughter in their eyes and smiles even from far away. Her mother had been talking to her about her concerns over having two more babies and had told Lena when recanting that day, that Lena had made all her worries go away in their little baby babble conversation.

"I'm sorry I didn't come and talk to you about this." Lena felt new tears forming feeling badly for having kept this from her when they had such an open relationship.

"It's okay… I understand why and I'm sorry, too. Sorry that I didn't step in and say or do something when I saw your father starting to lose control with you that morning of your birthday." Irina apologized with her own tears. "I don't want you ever to feel like you have to keep something from me and I'm just sorry you felt like you couldn't… but I do understand." She stood up and walked towards her, "I love you, Sweetheart… so much." She smiled and pulled Lena into her arms.

"Are you mad at me?" Lena asked in a quivering voice.

"Never." Irina held her more tightly, "Upset at times… but never mad and I'm neither in this moment." She smiled softly with tears dripping into Lena's wet hair.

"Is Daddy?" Lena asked in almost a whisper and Irina felt the tremble roll through her daughter in her arms.

"No Sweetheart. He's not mad at you either." Irina whispered back, it breaking her heart to feel Lena trembling just thinking about Jack's outburst at her.

"I know he'd never hurt me Mama but his voice…" Lena trembled again and turned into her mother's neck burying her face, "It terrifies me in a way I can't explain… I just wanted to curl up and die."

"I know baby and I'm sorry." Irina cried trying to hold back her tears, "It's not your fault…its just the lasting effects of the trauma you went through when you were a baby… and if I could I would take that away from you, I would!"

"Is that what it's from?" Lena asked with a hint of surprise having no idea before now, only knowing where her fear of rats came from, "When the bastardass was breaking my arm and screaming at you to chose between Nee-Nee and I?" Her mind flashed to that scene in the film she'd seen a couple of times now and it did make sense and sent another tremble through her just thinking about it.

"Yes," Irina answered in a small gasp with a heavy sigh feeling that second tremble, "I think so."

"But I don't remember it, Mama… I don't remember it at all." Lena held her more tightly confused as to how she could possibly be reacting from something she didn't remember.

"You do somewhere in your subconscious… you remember and I think that trauma was blocked off even as a baby eventually because you used to tremble a lot for months like you are now… after we came home from the hospital… and it seems to come out with every new trauma you have… you remember the old." She moved them to sit on the bed and fingered Lena's hair behind her ear to try to explain, "Like when my placenta began to tear away and I was bleeding to death with the twins… you were there with me… you saw me bleeding and didn't understand but yet you remembered your previous trauma with me and bleeding and you started trembling again." She held Lena's hand tightly in her lap rubbing circles with her thumbs, "You wouldn't let me out of your sight for weeks, or let anyone hold you without a great deal of coaxing just like right after the original trauma. Something like seeing me bleeding, or the rats, or a loud male voice must trigger that emotional memory in you to bring back that unexplainable fear."

"And need to hold you… I was so relieved when you came over to hold me tonight." Lena cried with new tears and wrapped her around Irina again tightly. "I just wanted you to hold me and never let go, Mama."

"I won't ever let go until you tell me too." Irina answered in a whispered breath holding her ferociously.

"Will you lay with me?" Lena asked feeling especially clingy right now.

Irina didn't answer her, just pulled her back with her and moved around until they were both settled in their normal position with Lena's head on Irina's chest listening to her heart and one hand palming over her pulse in her neck with her mother's arms around her.

They hadn't lay there long when they heard a soft knock and then Nadia poked her face in, having been awake and hiding in her brother's room since they heard the loud door slam of Lena trying to slow her parents hours ago and then the shouting match that ensued leaving the both of them to wonder if they should brave coming down.

Nicholas had gone back to sleep eventually but Nadia was worried about her sister and knew that she'd come home again. She smiled softly to see her mother was snuggled up with her and both Lena and Irina waved her over to join then at the same time making her smile widen.

Without a word, Nadia slid into bed on the opposite side of Lena and nestled her head against her mother's shoulder with face into her neck and smiled inhaling her scent she loved so much. Her fingers automatically found Lena's and linked and Irina kissed her head and then Lena's with all eyes closing in the comforting snuggle.

Sydney arrived a couple of hours later and soundlessly made her way immediately to Lena's bedroom prepared to help her with a united front against her parents and smiled to see her sisters and mother snuggled up and sleeping and quietly closed the door, sliding in bed behind Nadia and spooning up against her, kissing her neck and then her mother's cheek when Irina's eyes opened to look at her and smiled. Sydney's arm settled over Nadia and hand wrapped around her sister's entwined fingers, smiling when the both let go of each others to tangle hers into the mix as well and then all went back to sleep after an exhausting night.

When another hour had passed, Jack made his way to gather the morning paper and saw Sydney's car in the driveway, wondering how in the world she could have gotten inside without him hearing and then chuckled at himself remember she had been a spy… a rather good one too. He just as quietly moved upstairs and looked in his room first noting it was empty and then braved cracking the door to Lena's to find all four of them snuggled together in one of the cutest moments he'd ever seen. Too cute to pass by and found the camera, turned off the flash and captured it quietly before sneaking back out and moving downstairs.

Nicholas was in the kitchen and scrounging around for breakfast the only other one up in the house. "So you know about Parker now?" He set his bowl down looking up through long lashes at his father and reaching for his favorite cereal. "I heard you yelling at Lena last night." He answered quietly to the unasked question in his father's eyes.

Jack felt another kick to the gut with the reminder of the ass he'd made of himself with his daughter and would need to apologize to them all for how he behaved. "Yes, I know about Parker now and I'm not surprised you already do… I thought brothers were supposed to rat out their sisters?" Jack tried to tease him a little to lighten the heavy mood as he grabbed another cup of coffee.

"I figure Lena has enough people ratting her out and watching her all the time she doesn't need me doing it too. I'd rather help her fight them off then fight with her." Nicholas answered softly with a shrug after pouring his cereal.

"You're a better man then I, Cowboy." Jack gave him a small smile, shaking his head impressed with his son and disappointed in himself. "Where did you learn to be such a great young man?"

"From you." Nicholas's eyes so dark like his mother's caught and held his father's. "You're my Dad… and a really good one." He reached for the milk, "You taught me to respect Mama and my sisters and all women and people… and if I have a disagreement with them, I can argue and still be respectful. Yeah, I do listen when you talk Dad." He laughed softly seeing his father's blank astonished face; "You also said that its okay to make mistakes sometimes as long as you learn from them and don't make them again… and apologize and try to make it right…and really try to stop being an ass if you can…" He gave his father the famous Derevko slanted eyebrow and smirk of a smile that was all, his mother when Jack looked at him.

"Yes, I did tell you that and I will be apologizing and making it right with her as soon as they wake up." Jack smiled laughing softly at being schooled by the adolescent male version of Irina, with his humor. "And I'll try to stop being an ass." He laughed softly and stole his son's cereal, taking a bite before passing it back.

"Good, Dad. Good." Nicholas smiled and leaned over the kitchen island to ruffle his father's hair in the way Jack always did to him when saying the same comment only to him.

"Smartass, just like your mother." Jack whacked his hand away and they both laughed before he sobered again with an apology, "I'm sorry about my behavior last night towards your sister and I can only hope that what you heard you will learn 'is not' the way to deal with your own daughter someday." He smiled softly and Nicholas gave him a slight head nod as acceptance.

"Jack…" Irina's calm voice sounded quietly behind him and he turned to see her standing in the doorway behind Lena with Sydney and Nadia flanking their sister in a protective stance. He needed to apologize for all his wrong-doings first as the supposed parent in the situation that he'd let get out of hand.

"Peanut… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got so angry, sorry I didn't listen to you try to explain, sorry I told you I didn't believe in what you were telling me, sorry I told you that I didn't believe anything you said…" Jack sighed with tears forming in his eyes though he tried hard to keep them back, "And sorry for scaring you so badly by shouting at you." He added with a very calm and soothing voice as the exact opposite of what he'd last spoken to her last night. "I am sorry, Sweetheart."

Lena was biting her lip with her own pooling tears and hesitated for only a beat before flying across the space and throwing her arms around him, "I'm sorry, too, Daddy. I'm sorry for not telling you about Parker." She spoke with her cheek pressed against his, ear next to his mouth and arms tightly around his neck while he hugged her just as tightly.

"I understand why you didn't and I'm sorry that I've been so irrational with you since your birthday and being so demanding and harsh with you. I just want to keep you safe and protect you and I wasn't being fair to you… I'm going to try to look at things from your side more often now and promise not to make rash decisions without talking to you first, okay?" Jack spoke into her own ear and Irina smiled softy at him over Lena's shoulder. "Now I'd like you to tell us about Parker and then we'll talk about having him over for dinner…" He pulled her back and cupped her face in his large hands, wiping her tears with his thumbs like he did when she was little, "Not an interrogation… okay?" He smiled softly and Lena nodded, kissing his cheek and rapidly hugging him tightly again.

"Thank you, Daddy." She whispered.

* * *

The Bristows had dinner with Parker that evening and invited Sydney and Vaughn with their four children over as well, thinking safety in numbers and the young man wouldn't feel so intimidated if there were more people there his age.

"So what do you think?" Vaughn asked Jack in a whisper coming up behind him at the barbeque and using the guise of collecting the done meat to chat. His eyes were on the eighteen year old male that was currently dating his Goddaughter with roving interest in watching his every move.

"That he's either the most genuinely nice, and polite young man I've ever met outside our boys, or he's the best smooth talking son-of-a-bitch there is." Jack answered looking up and watching as the young man laughed and smiled with Sydney and Irina, having put his 'charm' on them all evening.

"That's kind of what I was thinking." Vaughn sighed, "Any order preference or way you're leaning towards in those summations?"

"I can't decide… I'm trying to be open minded." Jack answered dryly and then shot the charcoal with new lighter fluid causing an enormous flame to almost singe off their eyebrows. "I can't wait to find out what Irina thinks… she's pretty damn good at judging people with as many as she's met and dealt with in her life." He smiled at his wife when she paused in listening to gain his attention and smile at him.

"Yeah, I'm thinking the same about Sydney as well." Vaughn moved the meat around on the plate to make it look like he was still busy with Jack, "Did you notice the way that both our boys aren't really talking or interacting with him? At first I thought it might be because Parker is older then they are but the more I watched I realized… they don't like him."

"I did notice." Jack whispered conspiratorially with eyes on his son and grandson while more impressed with his son-in-law every day. "I was trying to decide if they didn't like him because he was older? Or because they were being the typical protective brother and nephew or because of some loyalty they still feel to Antony, having already decided he was the guy for her… which by the way, Antony's absence in conversation and phone calls to the house now makes more sense if she's been dating this guy since 'before' he came to visit over Thanksgiving… he must know too," Jack flipped the new meat shaking his head softly, "Or if they simply don't like the guy for reasons we aren't aware?"

"We should sit them down and ask them which one of those reasons it is then… they always seem to know more about what's going on then we do anyway?." Vaughn held the plate out to Jack to take the now well done hot-dogs that had cooked quickly.

"I wish I could but that would fall under the 'interrogating' category and I promised Lena I would be more open minded… and not do that." Jack slanted his eyebrow with a slight suggestion.

"But I never did…" Vaughn slanted his own back with a smirk, "Perhaps I'll wrangle Eric and Marshall and the Godfathers will pay Parker a little visit after we get the scoop from the boys."

"I like you more everyday, Vaughn." Jack smirked and flipped the burger.

"Likewise, Jack…" Vaughn laughed and walked away.

"So what do you think of Parker?" Jack asked when Irina slid up next to him in bed and then settled over his chest, slipping one leg over his and entwining them when they went to bed that night.

Irina was silent for a minute thinking of how to answer and Jack laughed softly reading her mind.

"Okay let me ask that again? What does the Mama who promised Lena to keep an open mind think of Parker? And what does Irina Derevko-Bristow Intelligence Gathering Genius and Master Game Theorist think of Parker?" He kissed her head and Irina laughed softly that they could always read each other's minds.

Irina traced lazy circles around his areolas with a smile, "Mama who promised Lena that she'd keep an open mind thinks that Parker seems like a very nice young man, very courteous and polite… out of his way so, with the compliments and 'help' even, quite charming and will continue to try to keep an open mind."

"And Irina Derevko-Bristow Intelligence Gathering Genius and Master Game Theorist?" Jack asked with a soft laugh again brushing his hand over her hair.

Irina pulled back and rested her face against her fist propped up on a bent elbow to look at her husband with her famous 'all knowing' gaze as Jack called it. "Thinks that this guy is a master manipulator who thinks he's a pro but in reality still in training-wheels circling the driveway and has no clue who he's dealing with and that I see right through his pompous flattery and bullshit to the wolf under his sheep's clothing, that I fear will shed his skin and reveal his ugly true nature soon enough." She breathed out rapidly with thick venom in her voice and clear disdain.

Jack's eyebrows shot up with an amused smile, "Don't hold back, Dear; tell me how you really feel?" He laughed softly.

"And what does open-minded Daddy think versus Jack Bristow Intelligence Gathering Genius and Master Game Theorist think?" Irina asked feeling the same struggle she knew he was too… trying to keep an open mind for their daughter's sake when she clearly saw the snake and feared he was getting ready to shed his skin.

"Open minded Daddy and Jack Bristow agree with your summations… to the 't' on both accounts." Jack sighed, "So now what do we do? Wait and watch the train wreck we both know is on the horizon?"

"I'm afraid so." Irina sighed moving over his body like a blanket and resting her chin on her folded arms over her chest looking at him. "Unless she asks our opinions which she will and even then we have to give her the 'open minded' version or be accused of not having an open mind…" She sighed again and moaned softly in pleasure closing her eyes when Jack started to massage the tense muscles in her lower back. "This is the part of parenting that I think is completely ridiculous and nonsense but a necessary evil so I've been told in letting them grow up. Course… my parents didn't give me their 'open minded' opinion about you when I was seventeen and quite frantically tried to warn me of an impending train wreck they foresaw coming and in the end, could only stand by and watch happen." Irina spoke softly and then opened her eyes to meet his. "But at least while they were standing by and watching… they began to realize that it was the best ride of my life… and only the beginning of what would be a life long journey after we were able to sift through the wreckage and get back on track." She smiled and leaned forward, kissing his lips softly.

"Please tell me you don't think we're now your parents standing by watching this train wreck about to happen and have the same outcome as we did?" Jack looked at her with slanted eyebrow and Irina laughed.

"No. My parents although standing by waving frantically at me in the beginning to 'jump off' that train… knew even then that you were not a wolf in sheep's clothing… but that you were a good man who just happened to be our enemy," Her fingers brushed along the side of his jaw, "And after Sydney was born… they stopped waving frantically for me to jump off, and began running beside us to try to keep me on hoping I'd have a better chance of survival that way… and at the same time… making it impossible for them to see the other train coming violently towards us in the other direction."

"And they both lost their lives running beside us in the collision." Jack answered softly brushing his own fingers down her cheek.

"Yes…" Irina answered in whisper with a smile and new tears, "But they did as they set out to do… and kept me alive and you and Sydney by keeping us together as long as we could… enable us to survive the crash and find our way back to each other… even if a bit broken and scarred…we made it."

"We made it." Jack echoed in a whisper with fingertips pressing into the dip in her lower spine and leaning up to kiss her lips with a soft smile before kissing her again more deeply and starting their favorite slow dance.

* * *

It was two weeks later when Irina and Lena were in the air on Imperial One flying back to Russia for business and the signing of Lena's _Letter of Intent_ into the _Russian Air Force Academy_ as that was her wish and intended college to study Physics and International Relations. She and Antony had both decided two years ago and then reaffirmed their wish last fall before she left for America that this was what she really wanted to do and though Jack and Irina both asked she rethink her choice many times having gone the military route, Lena was adamant in her beliefs.

She wanted the military experience seeing how useful it was to her mother in leading the country and she loved to fly and study space; she could think of nothing more she wanted to study or do then to go into the Air Force Academy and study with the Cosmonauts who were currently working on the project building the permanent space station on her beloved moon. She wanted to be able to help with that as much as she could and Antony had always shared her passion. They had both finished their Basic Training late last Spring and early Summer just before Lena left for school in America and upon returning to Russia after graduation in June, she and Antony would start immediately in their studies.

"What's wrong, Snuggle Bug?" Irina asked sitting down beside her daughter on the suede sofa in the plane where her daughter had been staring out the window for hours and hardly speaking at all, obviously upset and lost in thought.

"Everything." Lena sighed and fought back tears, "I had a fight with Parker before I left, I haven't talked to Antony in more then a month because he hardly ever speaks to me or calls me or returns my calls anymore and he's obviously mad at me though I don't know why and now we're going to be at the Academy together and this week is just not going well for me, Mama!" She let go of a small sob, "It seems every thing I do or don't do makes people upset with me."

Irina sighed taking a deep breath and gave her a small smile and clasped her daughter's hand in her own, "Okay… let's try to tackle them one at a time and figure out what to do to make the situation better. First, why do you think Antony is upset with you?" She asked softly with her head tilting slightly, knowing why 'she' thought Antony was upset but wanting to know what Lena was thinking.

"I think he's upset I have a boyfriend." Lena wiped at the endless tears still looking out the window. "He's jealous of Parker."

"Why do you think he's jealous?" Irina asked delicately.

"He's had me to himself for all these years and he didn't like having to share." She sniffled and Irina nodded softly.

"Have you tried talking to him about it?" Irina asked again quietly.

"Yes… and no… he won't return my calls and when we do finally get to talk I'm too nervous to bring it up and upset him further and risk he won't call me again." Lena's tears continued to stain her cheeks.

"Okay… well maybe we'll have to come back to that. Why did you have a fight with Parker?" She asked especially interested to hear this having never known the two to fight before.

"For a lot of reasons… he's angry that I'm leaving in June to come back to Russia for school. He wants me to stay and go to _USC_ with him but I told him no, I've been wanting to go to the Academy a long time and its my country and home and I want to go to school there because its important to my future and my country's and he yelled at me, saying '_I thought America was your home, too'_ and I said yes it is, but feel more Russian than American and I've always gone to school in Russia and already did my Basic Training with Antony last summer," She hiccupped holding back more tears in her ramble, "And then he got mad about that."

"Got mad about what?" Irina asked with narrowing eyebrows really not liking this boy.

"He got mad I said that I'd gone with Antony and we were going to the Academy together and he said he was sick of Antony and that I should want to go to school with my boyfriend and not my best friend and I told him I'm not making any decision about going to school based on either but what's right for me and what I want to do and he started to say ridiculous things about Antony being in love with me and this was his trying to break us up and when I said he wasn't then he got mad at me and said I was in love with Antony then and that's why I wo-" She stopped suddenly realizing what she was about to say.

"You're in love with Antony and that's why you _won't_ what?" Irina asked with a raised eyebrow and heart beginning to pound having an idea what.

"That's why I won't… sleep with him." Lena answered softy and sighed looking down, "He said it was ridiculous that we've been together for almost six months and I won't have sex with him… that this is as long as he's ever waited with any girl… even a virgin… the longest he's ever waited before me was a week and he doesn't want to wait anymore…"

Irina's free hand instinctively curled into a fist and she fought very hard the urge to break something and instead took a breath trying to calm herself before speaking, "And what did you say?"

"I told him I'm not ready… it has nothing to do with Antony," Lena cried and wiped her tears not really knowing if that was true or not but she wouldn't allow herself to explore that thought anymore as he was her best friend… Parker was her boyfriend. "He got mad and demanded that if that was true, and I am not saving myself for Antony then I would have sex with him before I left."

Irina's jaw was clenched so tightly she was sure she'd break her teeth hearing how the wolf had finally revealed his true colors. "And did you?" She asked in a quiet voice praying to God her daughter answered with 'no' as she didn't want her to lose her virginity to this bastard she was thinking about calling Jack and unleashing him if she answered with 'yes.'

"No," Lena answered softly and Irina felt her heart skip a beat, "I told him I wasn't ready… tried to convince him it had nothing to do with saving myself for Antony I just wasn't ready and he said he lost his at fourteen and it wasn't that big of a deal and that he was eighteen had certain needs and desires that needed to be met that I wasn't fulfilling and that I was just playing him and his emotions being a 'cock tease," She sniffled holding back a sob and Irina was ready to scream having never been more patient in her life then right now about not exploding in rage, "I tried to tell him I wasn't doing it on purpose and that I thought our relationship was fine with the way we were going and I was sorry if that wasn't enough for him but I just can't and won't sleep with him 'just because' and I got really mad and said he was being asshole and left basically…" She sniffled again and wiped at her tears, "I came home went to bed and got up and here we are. I didn't talk to him again before we left."

"I'm proud of you." Irina reached out and touched her face, "You should never ever sleep with someone just because they want you to. If it doesn't feel right, then don't. You did the right thing and I'm proud of you. And I know you… you weren't leading him on or teasing him… if anything his own fantasies are what were teasing him but not you." She wiped her daughter's tears.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do, Mama… now I've both Antony and Parker mad at me." Lena cried and new tears fell.

"Which one makes you more upset? That Parker is upset with you? Or Antony?" Irina asked cautiously trying to open Lena up and maybe make her daughter see some truths that would lead her out of this ugly situation with a guy who didn't deserve her, and towards the one who did…and whom Lena, she believed, really did want to be with.

Lena's eyes flashed to her mother's in disbelief wondering how she knew and then saw, looking into her eyes her own truth reflected back at her and looked down knowing the answer the moment the question was asked, "Antony…" she answered in a whisper and Irina pulled her into her arms, holding her on the couch and stroking her head.

Antony was once again absent from Russia when Lena was in town and it broke her heart to know he was avoiding her and devastated in a way she wasn't prepared for to find out from their friends that he'd had girlfriend… since last December just after he returned from the States and was pretty serious and actually with the girl visiting her extended family in Greece.

Her heartbreak only continued when she returned home.

"Lena…" Nadia came running up to her with Anya, Eva, Ria and Mia all pulling her into the bathroom just after the second period of class was over on her first day back.

"What?" Lena asked seeing all their faces looking so upset.

"There isn't any easy way to say this… but I wanted you to hear it from us… instead of the everyone else," Nadia choked on her words with tears already building in her eyes, "Lena, Parker cheated on you… he slept with Samara while you were gone… the first time was the night you left I guess… and they slept together at least once a day since."

"What…" Lena felt like she had been kicked in the gut and had the breath sucked out of her even as her tears began to build. "But she's my…"

"Friend." Anya answered with her own angry tears that their supposed friend who always liked Parker jumped literally at the first chance she could to sleep with him.

"Who told you this?" Lena's eyes flashed with tears to each of them, not wanting to believe it was true.

"Parker was talking about it this morning in first period English I guess… and Jordan overheard him talking about how he'd already talked to Samara about how they'd keep 'fuckin' as 'fuck buddies' but that he was going to stay with you 'Princess Virgin' for the 'perks'. By second period, everyone knew and Samara admitted it saying that they had great sex together and she was fine just being 'fuck buddies' with him if he wanted to keep his 'sixteen-year old Princess Virgin." Nadia swallowed hard, "Lena, I'm sorry… everyone knows."

The moment she walked into the hallway the stares, snickers, sad faces and private conversations of whispers began immediately. She could hardly breathe and concentrated on compartmentalizing it, putting it away until school was over and she could deal with it then.

"Lena!" Parker ran up behind her in the hall at the end of the day, seeing her for the first time that day and since her return and smiling, trying to gauge what she knew or not based on the rumor mill. "I missed you!" He leaned in to kiss her and she put her hand to his chest to stop him.

"Get out of my way." Lena looked him dead in the eye and fought hard to not cry.

"Lena… you can't believe the rumors." Parker put his arm up trying to trap her in, "Come on, Babe… you know people are just jealous and trying to come between us."

"I said get out of my way." She repeated seeing him now for the snake that he was and hating herself for being so naïve. She saw Max, her bodyguard at the end of the hallway where he was always posted while she was in this hall moving towards her slowly seeing the tension.

"No, not until you listen to me." Parker put his other arm up, boxing her in while everyone in the halls slowed to watch, "You're being dramatic. Stop acting like a spoiled princess and listen to what I'm telling you. Its just rumors, I didn't fuck Samara so you don't have to play the psycho jealous girlfriend."

Max was about to jump in when Lena grabbed Parker's arm with one of hers and had it wedged viciously behind his back with face planted against her locker having spun him all the way around in seconds with her martial arts skills that stopped everyone in their tracks.

"I said to get out of my way… it's over, Parker. You're free to fuck whomever you want… I don't care." She leg go of his arm and spun away, heading to soccer practice and eager to run and work off her steam and anger. Max glared at Parker as a warning before following Lena out.

"Lena, wait! This is ridiculous!" Parker ran after her while she dribbled the ball around the practice cones with the guys and girls practicing next to each other on the field. "I'm sorry I called you a spoiled princess." He was running backwards while she charged forth with feet of fury working up a sweat with footwork going down the field with pony tail swinging wildly around behind her and she refused to look at him, "Lena, look at me when I'm talking to you! I didn't cheat on you!" He tried to tip her chin up.

"Shut up, just shut up…" She was growing close to losing her patience. "Leave me alone, Parker! I know the truth and I'm sure you and your cock are very happy!" She glared at him, "You're needs and desires are met and satisfied and you don't need me so get out of my way!"

"Don't be like that! You're the one who didn't want to have sex with me!" He whispered so that no one else could hear, "And now you're all jealous and mad that I fucked someone else… it was just fucking to get off nothing else… you weren't giving it to me so I found it elsewhere but I still care about you… I'm willing to wait for as long as you want now… it's not a big deal. Samara doesn't care that we're together so what's the problem?"

"_What's the problem?_" She gasped incredulously, "You've got to be kidding me! You were supposed to be my boyfriend and you think I'm going to be okay with you screwing someone else just because I wouldn't screw you? You're so delusional!" She shook her head and glared at him hearing the whistle ending practicing, "I'm so glad I didn't give it up to you. Thank you for saving me from making that mistake which I'm sure would have haunted me forever and go to hell!" She whipped around him charging her shoulder into his and leaving him standing.

"Where's your sister?" Irina asked straining the pasta into the sink watching as Nadia and Nicholas took their seats at the table and then took note of their solemn faces. They'd all just gotten home from soccer practice after school, headed up to their rooms to clean up as usual and came down for dinner but something was off.

"She's not coming. She said she's not hungry and that she's going to bed early." Nadia answered quietly and Jack and Irina's eyes met in a flash with concern.

"Is she not feeling well? Is she sick?" Irina asked with immediate alarm knowing that Lena like herself got sick next to never. She saw the look pass between Nicholas and Nadia on how to answer, "What's going on, guys? What's wrong with Lena?" She had an off feeling about Lena all day and wondered if it was because her daughter had faced Parker again after their fight and it didn't go well being the reason Lena didn't feel like eating. She set the pot down and walked over to the table, folding her arms over her chest.

"She's not sick, _sick_…" Nadia answered softly, "She's heartbroken."

"Why, what happened?" Irina felt her own heart breaking with suspicions being confirmed and Jack instantly wanted to maim the boy for breaking her heart like they feared he'd do.

"Lena wouldn't sleep with him… so while you guys were gone, he started cheating on her with Samara… the night before you left… and not just once but every day…" Nadia's eyes filled with tears again for her sister and chewed nervously on the inside of her lip seeing her parent's reactions.

"I'm going to kill him." Jack fumed in whispered anger and Irina put her hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down and make him remember they had two children sitting in front of him and now was not the time to speak of revenge.

"Calm down… I'm going to go talk to her and you guys start without me." Irina kissed all three of their cheeks and walked slowly up the stairs with heavy feet and heart.

She knocked softly on Lena's door, "Can I come in?" She asked quietly and heard the emotion choked 'yes.' Lena was curled up in bed with her back to Irina and Nana lying beside her on the far side of the bed, the dog always knowing when she needed comfort and Lena's arm was wrapped over her like a body pillow playing with Nana's soft fur.

Soundlessly, Irina slid into bed behind Lena and spooned up against her, wrapping her arm over her and pulling her close before kissing her shoulder and then just below her ear in the spot they'd always loved since she was a baby, resting her cheek in the crook of her daughter's neck. "I'm sorry he turned out to be a toad." She whispered softly. "Any guy who would cheat on you can't possibly be legally sane and should be committed." She smiled softly with tears in her eyes.

"What about a guy who cheats on you, lies about it, then finally admits to it only to say that he's 'solved our problem of me not being ready to sleep with him by finding a fuck buddy who doesn't care if he keeps seeing me' and then actually has the idiocy to think I would be okay with this new arrangement because I'm not ready to sleep with him anyway… so 'what does some harmless fucking matter to me?" Lena fought back the tears bitterly and Irina had ceased breathing with the oxygen in her lungs being rapidly consumed by the raging fire within. "He said I was being a spoiled princess and overly dramatic and that I was acting like a psycho jealous girlfriend when I had no right to be and that I should just calm down because he still cared about me and wasn't breaking up with me."

"What did you say to him?" Irina asked quietly.

"I told him what an idiot he was, that I was happy to never had made the mistake of sleeping with him and then told him to go to hell!" Lena sniffled her eyes blood red from non-stop crying the minute she stepped into the shower and let it go, everything she'd kept back.

"Good for you…" Irina kissed her again, "He wasn't worthy of you, Lena… he didn't deserve you."

"Daddy was right… all guys want me for is sex… even the guys who I think are nice are actually just spending months of 'prep' time trying to sleep with me. Parker as much as said so when he told me he'd only waited a week to sleep with the other girls he was with and had 'already put in six months with me.' God, I was an idiot." She turned her face burying into the pillow to cry.

"Not all guys think that way about you, Sweetheart," Irina's heart was breaking and tears were falling from her eyes as she leaned over her daughter and stroked her head. "Antony, for one, is a guy who isn't like that… that's not why he likes you and wants to spend time with you."

"He doesn't want to spend time with me anymore!" Lena cried, "Just after he left in November he started dating some other girl and is apparently quite serious and that's why he doesn't have time for me anymore… I hadn't seen him in almost six months, Mama and he couldn't wait one day to go on his trip to see me… not one day! He doesn't care about me anymore either! He said he'd always be there for me and he isn't!"

"Sweetheart…" Irina sighed with new tears and brushed Lena's tears that kept falling from her puffy eyes. "He does care about you… a great deal. I know he does and I know he always will. He's probably just upset thinking that you didn't want or need him anymore once you started dating Parker so he went out and found someone to spend his time with too… so he wasn't so lonely." She took a deep breath and her mind couldn't help but think of the parallels in this complicated love story and her own, once upon a time. "I know he still cares a great deal about you as I hear Nicholas on the phone with him answering his question every time of how you're doing and what you are up to."

"Yeah, but then why won't he talk to me? Just ask me?" Lena cried getting upset even more. "I don't understand guys, Mama… not at all."

"I know… sometimes its very difficult and I can't answer those questions, only Antony can," Irina brushed her hand over Lena's head again, "But I know that he loves you, you're his best friend and have been since you were five and saved each others lives… He's always tried to protect you and maybe he thinks that's what he's doing now… protecting you by staying out of and away from what he thinks makes you happy."

"But he makes me happy, he's always made me happy! He's my best friend why would he think that I'd be happier if he wasn't in my life?" Lena cried harder not liking that prospect and explanation of why he'd been absent from her life.

"I don't know, Sweetheart. You'll have to ask him what he really thinks and feels…" She kissed her head and then rested her forehead against Lena's temple. "Do you remember when you were little and we were on the beach in Fiji at the island… and you first asked me about how our hearts can speak to each other and how there are different kinds of love?"

"Yeah," Lena sniffled and then laughed disjointedly through her tears, "You said it was like M&Ms… I think of that every time I eat them now."

"Me too." Irina laughed softly but kept on, "But I also told you that sometimes… the language between the hearts we love is not always spoken clearly so that we can understand… and it gets complicated trying to figure out what they're really saying."

"I remember." Lena tried to rein in her tears, "It was right before I asked you how baby's got into your tummy." She laughed softly remembering that conversation and night well.

"You have an amazing memory." Irina smiled with pride and shook her head softly with a soft laugh. "I can't believe you remember it that well."

"Of course I do because that led to your description of the dance of making love and telling me that I was made in one of the most beautiful dances ever… that will always stick with me and I know now, that I really was," She smiled up at her turning her head slightly, "And I'm proud and not squicked out by it, to have been conceived in the 'gravity of your love' and the most celebrated love scene in cinematic history." She smiled teasing slightly. She learned long ago how special that night of her conception really was and then after seeing the film, saw it for herself and knew she could either be proud or embarrassed for eternity and proud sounded much better since she really was.

Lena sniffled, "The love you have with Daddy… is the kind of love I want… and why I won't just settle for sleeping with any guy." Her tears started coming back again, "I know that what the two of you have is unlike any other before but even if I get as close as a tenth of what you have I'll be entirely happy."

"And I'm so proud of you for not settling and I'm so moved to hear you say that about your father and I… and about how you feel about your conception because it truly was one of the most beautiful dances ever… the first time I'd really felt alive in twenty-two years." Irina's tears were running down her face and Lena reached up to wipe them.

"I know." She said softly with a smile, "I'm very proud to have been the bi-product." She smiled intending to make her mother laugh and she did.

"You weren't the bi-product, Sweetheart… you were the physical manifestation of that love… and proof that our hearts had been reunited again in you."

"That's the literature professor in you talking which is beautiful but I am, really okay with being a bi-product too… but your description does sound better so lets just go with that…saying that I'm the 'physical manifestation of the greatest love in history… and proof that their hearts had been reunited again in me' doesn't sound too conceded, does it?" She smirked, loving to tease and bouncing back quickly; it's just what they did.

Irina laughed and lay down over her, wrapping her under her arms and kissing her face repeatedly. "I love you, Lena… forever and always… to the moon and back..." She began in their all-too familiar declaration. This time, her children would know for certain in their bones and core being, forever imprinted, just how much she loved them. She would make certain of that, daily and with each declaration of love.

"More then the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth… I love you." Lena answered back with hands reaching up to cup her mother's face the same way Irina was cupping hers. "Thank you, Mama…" She smiled softly and Irina kissed her nose.

"Are you feeling up to coming downstairs and eating with me?" Irina asked hopefully.

"No… I'm really not very hungry… but you should go eat, Mama its not good for you to wait this long." Lena's eyes flashed to the clock and she felt selfish for not thinking about that an hour ago when this conversation started.

"I'm fine. I was snitching enough while I was making it that my blood sugar is all right but thank you for the concern." Irina smiled softly used to her disability now but eager for the day they found a cure and she could stop injecting herself like millions of other people, "Do you want me to at least bring you up a plate? I don't like it that you've burned so many calories in school and soccer and running and upset and then refuel… and I know that you probably didn't eat lunch either after finding this out… am I right?" She quirked her eyebrow and Lena smiled with guilt and looked away. "Then its settled, I'll bring you up a plate." She kissed Lena and then Nana her faithful companion and savior and headed downstairs to bring her up something.

"He actually had the audacity-" Jack yelled and Irina cut him off.

"Jack, shhh!" She narrowed her eyebrows nodding towards the open door leading from the kitchen to the rest of the house where the children could still hear them.

"He actually had the audacity… to think she'd be okay with him sleeping with another girl on the side while still remaining her boyfriend?" Jack whisper shouted in disbelief listening to what Irina told him finishing making her daughter a plate. "This kid is something else! I'm going to kill him I am…"

"Jack…"

"Okay then severely maim him!" He counter offered hearing that tone while he helped put the food away after making two plates.

"We're going to stay out of it unless she asks for our help." Irina gave him the slanted eyebrow with a smile.

"So things have gone from bad to extremely worse!" Nadia came running in the door first after school and practice the following day with Nicholas behind her slamming the door.

"What? What happened now?" Irina immediately stood from her desk.

"Parker told 'everyone' in 'great made up detail' how he's been having sex with Lena since the day after they started dating and that she asked him to lie about it to keep her 'good girl Virginal Princess image' for the public." Nadia was fuming mad, as was Nicholas who could be heard slamming cupboard doors in the kitchen. "It's bad, Mama… the stuff he said about her and described to everyone. Talking about sexual stuff he's telling everyone Lena likes or did to him. It's gross and a complete lie but everyone believes it!"

"Where is your sister now?" Irina stalked out into the living room with waves of anger rolling off her.

"She got out of the car and just started running. I don't know where she went to but Max is following her. She's really upset, Mama, really upset." Nadia's eyes started to fill with empathetic and angry tears.


	51. Chapter 51

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Party Up (Up in Here)**_** by DMX**_**, Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer, Deep Inside of You **_**by Third Eye Blind, **_**She Drives Me Crazy **_**by Fine Young Cannibals**_**, **__**So Cold **_******by Ben Cocks, **_**All I Ever Wanted by Depeche Mode, The First Kiss by George Fenton**_

* * *

FIFTY-ONE

o

"I'm going to go find her," Irina grabbed her keys, "Your father should be here any minute with Lara. She's staying with us tonight. I'll call him from the car and fill him in on what happened. Will you please order some Chinese for dinner tonight as it seems it's going to be slightly chaotic here for a little while? I know that you and Nicolai have to be hungry." She kissed Nadia's cheek when she nodded. "I love you and I'll be right back!"

Jack reacted about as well as Irina expected him to on the phone and before she ever told him what had happened, reminded him beforehand that Lara was in the car with him so be careful how he reacted to what she was going to tell him. She called Max and he informed her that he was now watching Lena from a safe distance at Union Station though she was very withdrawn and he was worried about her, never having '_seen her like this_' before.

The response made Irina fly to the train station. It felt almost odd and sacrilegious to come into the space Sydney had often come to think about 'her' and how she'd messed with her life and she felt a ghostly shudder run through her as she walked up the gorgeous emerald green tile floor towards Lena sitting in the front row of the large booth chairs.

Irina sat down in the chair next to her and held her while she cried softly into her neck over the boy trying to destroy her reputation because he felt threatened she had destroyed his by breaking up with him. After hearing what he'd said, Irina was hearing her body call for blood and had to remind herself to stay calm though she fought it with a dark sense of humor.

"Do you want me to break his arms?" She asked holding Lena's face and wiping her tears when her daughter had calmed some, "I did that to Katya's old boyfriend once when he broke her heart. I warned him but he didn't listen. Do you want me to break Parker's arms?" She asked again with a dark smile getting Lena to chuckle softly and shake her head _no_. "What about cutting them off and beating him with them? Would that make you feel better? I know it would make me feel better. You take one arm and I take the other, it could be fun!"

"You're twisted and funny and I love you, Mama." Lena laughed and threw her arms around Irina thinking about that image of her mother and herself beating Parker with his own arms.

Jack and Irina wanted to have a conversation with Parker and his parents that night but Lena was too upset and asked them to just leave it alone for now and that school was only a month from being over and then she'd leave and never have to see him anymore; but the following day at school was ten times worse than the day before and even the strongest resolve was beginning to crumble under the heavy taunting and slander.

Everywhere she turned guys were making some kind sexual gesture towards her and saying things, whispering in her ear from behind her in class with sexual descriptions and moans and groans while they thrust against their desk or brushed up behind her. By the end of the day everyone in the family's tensions were high.

_"Enough, Parker!_" Nicholas yelled at him soccer practice having had it with the boy's constant discussion and description of made up sexual encounters with his sister. "You're lying because she wouldn't sleep with you and it hurt your ego!"

"You'd like to think that, little brother, but the truth is your sister is a nymphomaniac who couldn't get enough." Parker taunted with a smile with the guys laughing around him as the warmed up for their scrimmage game. "She could never wait to get me alone and have me pound her."

_"Enough!"_ Nicholas was losing what was left of the last string of his control and they were drawing quite the crowd with the girls team coming to a stand still as well hearing the shouts and argument. "Just shut the fuck up!"

"Come on, Lena," Parker waved at her standing just a few feet away on the parallel practice field. "Come tell your little brother how you much you enjoyed me making you scream and you rode me until I was raw." His eyes flashed back to Nicholas, "She's just like your mother. Can't get enough. Your own mother was even hitting on me the first night I came to your house, her hand under the table creeping over my thigh to grasp my cock-"

Jaxx grabbed Nicholas mid-lunge to pull him back, "It's not worth it."

Parker and friends laughed, "What's wrong, _Nicolai?_" He emphasized his nickname he'd heard Irina calling him at dinner, as a taunt. "Don't like hearing the truth about your mother? Surely you realize she's been ridden more than the rides at _Disneyland_? Thousands of times just while the bitch in heat was in prison-"

"You're a sick motherfucker!" Nicholas tried lunging again only to be held back again by Jaxx and another friend with the team split into sides against each other.

"Truth hurts, doesn't it? Your sister likes to fuck as much as your mother and from what I've experienced they're both damn good at it but what can you expect from a Communist slut and her daughter? I bet if I went to your house right now and pulled down my pants your mom would suck me dry!" Parker taunted the younger boys while his friends roared behind him seeing the young Grand Duke burning red at the insults to his mother and ready to kill but being held back. "Oh what's wrong, Your Highness? You don't like talking about what incredible fucks your mother and sister, are? Your mom isn't exactly a secret, I mean, we watched her get fucked by half the population of the Soviet Union in prison-"

"She was raped you, sick son-of-a-bitch!" Nicholas was straining against the four boys it was now taking to hold him back in his blinding rage.

**_*Up in Here*_**

"She was gagging for it-" Parker sneered grabbing his cock while his friends laughed, "We all know exactly what the Tsar of Imperial Russia really is… a _Royal. Russian. Whore!"_ He enunciated each word with intent to incite wanting Nicholas to attack so he could pound him.

Nicholas' rage surged and he broke free lunging onto Parker with a flying fist across the cheek and everyone started cheering with mass chaos breaking out as the two fought and rolled around on the ground.

"What are you so upset about, huh?" Parker was on top of him holding him down laughing with a bloody lip and nose, "Even your own father thinks your mom's a whore! He's called her it more than once! It's just the truth. You precious _Mama_ is a whore! You shouldn't get so upset." He sneered and threw another punch and Nicholas rolled changing positions, holding Parker down with his knees to his arms and sitting on his chest while he pounded him with bloody fists.

"_Nicholas!_" Lena screamed at him with tears in her eyes trying to get him to stop as the two boys continued to fight and never having seen her brother so crazy and out of control; her eyes frantically searching for their bodyguards in the crowd of hundreds of kids and spotted the two rapidly trying to fight past the swarm of kids to Nicholas.

Nicholas was quite clearly winning this soccer field brawl when he was jumped from behind with a vicious kick by a cleat to his kidney, dropping him off the to side of Parker by one of Parker's friends and Jaxx jumped in punching the kid across the face.

"Come on, Bristow! I want to see you bleed!" Parker hit Nicholas again and again with an unbridled viciousness knowing all about his former blood disease and how bleeding like this would have killed Nicholas before.

"Can't stand that you come from a family of whores, you little bastard?" The other boy hit Jaxx hard whipping his head around and the two started pummeling each other while Parker lunged on Nicholas again punching him everywhere until they rolled again and Nicholas was on top beating him once more.

By the time the coaches and bodyguards were able to fight through the hundreds of kids trying to hold them all back to let the fight continue, it was bloody mayhem between the four boys. With the coaches trying to pull back Parker and his friend and the bodyguards corralling Nicholas and Jaxx.

"Your mom's a fucking whore, _Nicolai!_" Parker continued to taunt with blood running everywhere from his face and held back by the arms from his coach, "A _Royal Russian Whore_ and your sister's well on her way of being worthy of that title as well!"

_"Parker!"_ The coach barked at him trying to get him to shut up as he continued to pull the boy back and separate them.

* * *

Jack, Irina, Sydney and Vaughn got the call that there had been an incident at practice and were to come in immediately. When they got to school, they passed Parker and his friend sitting in the chairs just outside the Principle's Office with ice packs and towels to stop the bleeding and slow the swelling but the damage was fairly obvious with eyes already swelling shut, lips and cheeks split and blood gushing from their noses. Neither boy would look at Jack or Irina and the coach standing beside them looked more saddened than angry when he saw them pass by.

All had raw feelings in the pits of the their stomachs walking into the office door and then saw their own boys sitting in the chairs just across the Principles Office in the interior room. They both looked better than the two in the hall but still bloody, bruised messes with ice packs and towels while the school nurse was looking them over.

Just as Irina walked into the room the nurse was removing Nicholas's jersey covered in blood and exposed his side that was completely black and blue already with puncture wounds from the cleat and red in other places and he hissed when the nurse touched it lightly.

"What happened?" Irina was on her knees and at his side instantly with concern flooding her seeing the shot to the kidney that had her extremely worried.

"Cheap shot." Jaxx hissed under his breath answering for his uncle while Sydney began looking him over with furrowed brows.

"I'm fine, Mama." Nicholas moved away from Irina's light touch and refused to look at her with eye swelling shut.

"Your Majesty," the Principle smiled softly at them peeking her head in through the door, "If I can have a moment with you… all of you." She motioned to all the parents and the boys started to get up as well, "Just your parents, boys." She gently put her hand on Nicholas's shoulder.

The four of them went into her office with her and saw that the Head Coach of the boys team, the Vice Principle, and Lena were already inside waiting. Lena had tears streaming down her face and Irina immediately pulled her into a hug, kissing her and asked if she was okay. Her daughter said nothing but nodded softly and then sat down again in her chair off to the side while the Vice Principle arranged the chairs so they were all facing each other. Brian and his wife walked through the door just moments after and swallowed hard seeing Sydney and then her husband and parents, taking a double take at Irina seeing her LIVE and in person for the first time. The other boy's parents couldn't be reached at the time.

"Lena has told me that the four of you are aware of what's been going on between she and Parker but I have to ask you," The principle turned to Parker's parents, "If you two are aware of the situation?"

"We only know that they broke up. Our son doesn't talk to us a great deal. He's eighteen and fairly independent now." Brian cleared his throat, "I'm going to have to assume that it was a bad breakup do to the fact my son is now sitting out there beat up pretty severely by her brother and nephew. After that we know nothing."

"Well, as it seems we can't really get into today's incident without the reason for the provocation. Lena, would you like to tell them the circumstances of your breakup?" The principle smiled at her softly with an encouraging nod, knowing this wasn't something easy to have to say at all, let alone to the a room full of people and the boy's parents.

"Parker wanted to be intimate with me. I said no, that I wasn't ready for that. I went to Russia with my mother to sign my Letter of Intent for university and while I was away, Parker cheated on me… several times." She was trying to hold their eyes but kept looking away with new tears falling and she sighed, "I broke up with him when I returned and discovered this. He was upset and wanted to stay together under very unlikely circumstances and I said no again. Yesterday he began telling everyone in school lies about sleeping with me and giving very descriptive made up stories of events that never happened. Today, his taunting was worse." Her voice quivered slightly as she finished, looking away and wiped at her tears while Irina held her hand.

Parker's parents sat in a stunned awe for a moment having no idea any of this had gone on and then sat in silence.

"Which led up to today's incident on my field." The coach crossed his legs and tapped his fingers pressed together to his lips with elbows resting on the chairs of the arm. "Parker has a way of letting his mouth run away with him." His eyes glared at Brian as his father, "He wouldn't keep his mouth shut taunting Nicholas. We didn't interfere usually letting the boys take care of their squabbles to themselves but the situation escalated rapidly out of control."

"So, Nicholas physically attacked our son because he couldn't take a little jabbing from his sister's ex-boyfriend?" Brian was getting defensive and Jack's hand fisted ready to hit the guy and wishing he would have when he was eighteen and dating Sydney.

"It wasn't a little jabbing… he was trying to provoke a fight and he got one." The coach narrowed his own eyebrow. "Parker was throwing everything he could at the kid to get him to attack first so he could hit him and start the fight that I've been watching slowly coming on all season."

"What did he say about my daughter that finally set my son off?" Jack asked with voice like steel in a low tone, wanting to know exactly what happened and how far Nicholas had been pushed that resulted in the bloody pounding and wreckage they'd seen outside.

"The final straw that broke the camel's back so-to-speak, wasn't a taunt about your daughter." The coach shook his head softly and Lena's head turned away towards the floor with new tears, "It was about your wife."

"My wife?" Jack was immediately taken a back.

"_Me?_ How?" Irina wondered how she suddenly became the focal point in this brawl.

"When taunting Lena wasn't enough to get Nicholas to engage in a physical fight, Parker threw you in the mix, too. Insulting the both of you and began saying some rather horrific things which Nicholas was ready to attack him for but was held back by Jaxx and a few other boys… until Parker said something that just made Nicholas snap and he broke free from the other boys and attacked Parker with flying fists." The coach was speaking in a soft voice really not wanting to have to repeat the horrendous allegations and things said.

"What did he say? What set him off?" Irina asked in a quiet voice with her eyes glancing out the glass towards her son who was looking away lost in thought, bloodied and bruised.

"Parker called you the, _'Royal Russian Whore_." He answered softly and both Sydney and Parkers' mother gasped softly with tears instantly in their eyes. "Parker kept provoking him even after that, while they were in the midst of fightin. Nicholas was getting the best of him, pinning Parker down when Adam jumped him from behind with a cleat to his side to get him off Parker. Jaxx attacked Adam to even things back out again and Adam continued to provoke Jaxx to fight with him by taunting him with something similar and it was a flurry of fists and kicking by the time we were able to break through the hundreds of kids corralled around them egging them on and were able to split them up."

Irina hadn't said anything the entire time he spoke and never moved, only stared out the glass wall towards her son and forced back the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Nicholas is suspended for two weeks and Jaxx one week, both from practice and games. Parker is off the team indefinitely for provoking the fight and his behavior in general, as is Adam for the kick with the cleat to Nicholas' kidney which can cause significantly more damage than a fist and neither of the boys will receive their Award Letters or be allowed to attend the remaining games of the season." The coach looked at all the parents with the punishments he'd decided upon as their coach.

"He's the Senior Team Captain and you're not going to let him play in his final game?" Brian was more horrified his son wasn't going to get to play soccer than what he'd done and to him, that seemed extremely unfair. "He was attacked first and fought back!"

"He provoked the fight, Mr. Smith. He knew the rules and yet as Captain he broke them. He showed a complete and blatant disrespect for his teammates and I will not allow that kind of behavior on my team!" The coach sat forward in his chair.

"But you're only suspending the other two? Why? Because they're royalty?" Brian sneered in complete pissed off mode as his son was a soccer star and he didn't like anyone getting him kicked of the team his Senior year.

"No, not because they're royalty, Mr. Smith but because they were provoked. Nicholas two weeks, because he _did_ physically attack first and Jaxx one, because he came in on defense and then continued to fight after being provoked. I don't condone fighting on my field at all but I don't feel their actions so dishonorable as to kick them both permanently off the team when they were defending their family. The punishment is just in my eyes."

"And in ours." The principle agreed with him with a hard stare, "And furthermore, Parker and Adam will be suspended from school for the next two weeks and neither will be able to walk at graduation."

"_Oh, that's bullshit!"_ Brian jumped up from his chair. "You can't do this to my son just because he broke some little Russian slut's heart!" He glared and pointed at Lena in his fury.

_"Brian!"_ His wife screamed that he'd gone too far.

_'Boom!'_ Jack came flying out of the chair beside the man and punched him hard, knocking Brian backwards and breaking his nose.

"Don't you ever, talk about my daughter like that again!" Jack fumed with the coach and Vaughn holding each on of his arms though Jack had stopped after the first punch. His rage had been barely contained since hearing about Parker calling Irina the _'Royal Russian Whore'_ and his last thread snapped at hearing his father defaming his daughter in the same way.

"You broke my fucking nose!" Brian squealed with blood pouring from his nose and holding his hand over the crooked structure.

"_Gentlemen, sit down!"_ The principle barked fuming with anger. "I will not have this turn into some kind of a bar room brawl!"

"And I'll not allow the man to insult my daughter!" Jack glared back taking his seat with Lena, Nicholas and Jaxx's eyes all wide from watching him hit someone for the first time in their lives. "Apologize to my daughter!"

"I'm not going to apologize to her or anyone!" Brian yelped taking his wife's seat so she could separate the two. "She started this mess when she couldn't keep her legs closed like her sister and mother-"

Both Jack and Vaughn flew out of their chairs this time only Jack go to him first again and hit him so hard Brian spun around and fell out of the chair.

"Mr. Smith!" The principle yelled at the vicious man on the floor almost unconscious, "It's easy to see why your son can't seem to control his mouth when you can't!" The Vice Principle was helping the man up. "You will speak respectfully in this office or I'll have _you_ arrested! Sit down and keep your mouth closed!" She pointed to the chair the other man was helping him into. "And though he may severely deserve it, please try to refrain from hitting him in this office." She looked at Jack and Vaughn with a quirked eyebrow and sat down. "We're trying to set examples for the children and teach them why hitting is wrong and it's not helping that they're watching you doing the same in here." She sighed and sat down heavily. "The punishment stands. I will not change my mind, Mr. Smith."

"I think you broke my jaw." Brian spoke through his teeth unable to move his mouth.

"Consider it a warning! You're lucky that's all I did!" Jack glared at him with intent clear and Brian's wife's eyes widened remembering just _who_ they were dealing with and what they were capable of with even less provocation.

"I'm sorry for what my son said about you, Your Majesty," She tried to apologize softly with tears in her eyes, genuinely distraught to hear her son capable of such harshness but knowing all too well he'd gotten it from his father, obviously. "And about you, Lena… you didn't deserve that-"

"Don't apologize to her!" Brian yelled through his teeth at his wife, "It's Parker's word against hers' about what happened!"

"Yes, Brian!" She whipped her head to him with a glare, "I am apologizing to them because its obvious our son has learned your bad habits and apologizing is the least I can do for both of your idiocy! You both got what you deserved today and I'm going to have a long talk with Parker about some things after I take you both to the hospital! Now shut up! You've both said enough!"

"You're free to go." The principle waved at Parker's parents, "I have nothing more to say to either of you." She pulled her husband up and he tried to push her away only to sway slightly still seeing stars and let her take his arm again.

"Dad, what the?" Parker stood up seeing his father exiting the main office doors with a bloody face and eye swelling shut as well.

"Get in the car, Young Man!" His mother boomed grabbing his arm roughly and marching him forth, "Not another word from you until spoken to!"

"Lena, can you excuse us a minute please, Honey?" The principle smiled at her softly and nodded towards the door and Lena left shutting the door behind her again. "I've only asked that the four of you stay because I want you to know how very sorry I am that this situation happened in the first place. We've heard the taunting of her for the last couple of days and didn't do anything as is our normal policy not wanting to make it potentially worse on them. She's handled herself remarkably well considering, as have all your children until today. While I understand your son's reaction and empathize with him in this situation," She paused leaning forward slightly speaking softly, "I just can't condone fighting on school property. I wish I didn't have to punish them in this instance but I'm bound by ethics and rules."

"I understand." Irina sighed and nodded softly, "If there is nothing else, I'd really like to take my son to the hospital now and have his side examined by professionals?" She asked quietly concealing her own emotions with a slight tight smile.

"No and of course, I understand." The principle stood smiling softly and extending her hand.

"I'm sorry for hitting the fool in your office," Jack apologized to her knowing that it probably wasn't the best of ideas considering.

"Apology accepted, though I had the urge to do the same. What a prick." The principle smiled at Jack and they all chuckled softly imagining the petite woman punching the man.

* * *

They had hardly spoken at all in the car on the way to the hospital or while at the hospital. Jaxx and Nicholas both had orbital fractures in their left eye sockets from the punches and Nicholas' kidney was severely bruised from the cleat kick to his side; upon further testing it was revealed that his kidney was actually hemorrhaging and the doctors decided to keep him overnight at the very least.

Sydney was going to take Lena home and stay with she and Nadia while Vaughn took Jaxx home to their house.

Before Lena left Nicholas' room, she walked over to his bed with teary eyes and kissed the side of his mouth with an intent look whispering, "Thank you…" and he nodded softly with a slight smile.

The nurse came in and lowered his bed railing making him roll over on his side once they were gone and the only two people left in his room that evening were Irina and Jack. The woman was carefully cleaning each inch-long cleat puncture that formed a perfect shape of a footprint, with antiseptic before she sutured them closed carefully. "Somebody took a cheap shot at you, huh?" She smiled speaking over his shoulder and trying to make him smile feeling the tension in the room as no one spoke for nearly the hour it took for her to clean and suture the wounds.

When she was finished and left the room, he lay there silently for a moment before asking the inevitable question.

"So how much trouble am, I in?" He was staring out the window and watched as his mother who was standing beside his bed doing the same, turned around to face him with tear filled eyes.

"You're not in trouble." Jack answered softly surprising his son from where he sat in the chair near the end of Nicholas's hospital bed.

"I'm not?" The disbelief in Nicholas' voice was evident as he looked back and forth between his parents.

"No." Irina shook her head softly and came to stand beside him dropping a kiss to his forehead and cupping his head gently knowing it was bruised and painful. She was consumed with worry for him and possibly losing a kidney if the damage was severe enough. "I don't want you to ever… _ever_ again fight like this." She looked him intently in the eyes, "But I know that you were more than provoked on a continuous basis that led to this. Thank you for defending your sister's honor… and mine." She gave him a slight proud smile with teary eyes and ran her thumbs softly over the sides of his ears and dark silky hair. "I love you, Nicholas… forever and always."

"I love you, too, Mama." He answered back and leaned up to kiss her softly with his split lip ever so gently in spite of the pain such a movement caused his side.

"I have to go call your sisters, and brother and aunt and check in. Is there anything I can get you?" She asked in a soft voice with a teary smile.

"I'm fine, Mama." He answered back with the same teary smile.

When Irina had gone, Nicholas looked to his father again. "I'm really not in trouble?"

"No, you're not. We always told you that it was okay to fight back when you're under attack and clearly, you were." Jack slid his chair over to speak more closely with his son.

"I hit him first…" Nicholas admitted softly.

"Do you think you should be punished for hitting him?" Jack asked sitting forward and looking at him thoughtfully, seeing his son was a bit torn and confused.

"I know you and Mama don't want us fighting unless we have to… but Dad, the guy was long past due getting my fist in his face. I've never liked him. Never liked the way he treated Lena and with the things he was saying about her and Mama," He covered his eyes partially with his hand on his forehead as the tears built and fell thinking about what he'd said, "Dad, if you heard all the things he was saying about Mama… you would have killed him, they were that cruel… and no, I'm not sorry for hitting him…"

"Ok then…" Jack nodded at him softly with his own tears, "This is one of those times that fighting is justified in my book. I can only imagine what he said and its vileness from what his father was actually calling Lena and saying about her and your mother and Sydney while we were all sitting in there. It's one thing to fight over stupid male pride and another entirely in defending the women you love."

* * *

Nicholas ended up staying in the hospital for three days before he was released due to the injury to his kidney. It was on that third day, the taunting and rumors of Lena's loss of virginity and the fight that had broken out that put Nicholas in the hospital made it to the Press and the moment school was out, a swarm of reporters were waiting to throw a million questions at her about the '_he said, she said'_ story with Parker's claims of having slept with her and her claim they had not. She was horrified that this had somehow become news and watched as other kids from her school were suddenly giving interviews of the rumors they'd heard and spreading the lies further around the world.

They were staked out at the house as well and so many in fact that they could hardly get to the house on their way home from school. Her parents were bringing Nicholas home and had been informed and were just as appalled as she was to have direct questions about their daughters' sexual status flung at them and with only Parker's friends giving statements backing up his claims with horrendous details and made up encounters, some in very public places that there were already pictures of the two together taken for magazines in the past months, it was only adding to feeding the frenzy.

It became clear rather quickly things were only continuing to spin wildly out of control and it was unraveling Lena to unhealthy proportions and Jack and Irina made the decision to take them out of school as they couldn't go anyway without being harassed, and take them back to Russia to finish and away from the media circus. The other's made the same decision and when Dmitri phoned them and said that reporters were already starting to show up outside the palace gates waiting for them. They knew there was only one way to end it and three Godfathers stayed behind to take care of it.

Parker found himself suddenly abducted on the night before he was allowed to return to school with a black hood over his head and hands bound behind his back riding in the back of a car ending up in a warehouse down by the docks and hanging upside down by his ankles after being stripped naked. With a few empty threats that were very convincing about removing certain parts of the boys anatomy and dropping them in a barrel of acid he was dangling above. He started singing like a canary.

_"I lied I lied! She didn't sleep with me. Ever! No matter what I said to get her to sleep with me Lena wouldn't! I lied! I lied because she turned me down and I wanted to ruin her!" _

With confession on tape, the Godfathers finished their plan by tying the young man around the tree in the front of the school to be found the next morning by every student. His mouth was covered and duct taped, and he stood there exposed, only wearing his boxers with 'LIAR' written across his chest in red paint and his confession in a loop playing loudly beside him. Another copy of the tape was made and sent to the press anonymously effectively rendering the story useless, as there was none. Parker lied and that was it.

When asked who had done 'this' to him, tying him to a tree and mostly naked with 'LIAR' on his chest, Parker refused to reveal them so scared they'd come back as promised and follow through with their threats so he said he didn't know. He'd admitted he lied and then lay low for the next few weeks without leaving his house.

Lena's heartbreak unfortunately was only beginning.

* * *

**_*Heartbreak Warfare_**_ *_

_St. Petersburg, Russia - May 2019_

Antony found her standing down by the lake, looking over the water with arms folded over her chest watching the sky turn colors in the twilight of night. He hadn't seen Lena in six months and his breath caught when she turned her head looking him in the eyes over her shoulder and long hair blowing softy in the breeze… she was even more breathtaking than he'd remembered and approached slowly with a soft smile that fell seeing her tears.

"What are you doing here?" Lena asked in a quiet strangled voice, unable to look at him.

"I came to see you, to talk to you. It's been a long time." Antony choked on his own words stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"That's because you stopped taking my calls and calling me and made sure you were out of town when I was here. What's different?" She asked trying to keep the anger out but failing with her emotions so close to the surface all the time these days.

"You were happy… busy with your new boyfriend. I didn't want to get in the way." Antony swallowed hard, feeling angry as well, mostly at himself for learning the truth and realizing he wasn't going to be able to take back what he'd done.

"Why would you think you were in the way?" Her eyes flashed to his with angry tears and questions.

"Lena, I came to see you, spend time with you and I hardly got to do that at all… you were so wrapped up in your new boyfriend-"

"I spent a whole day with you and I thought we had fun?" She cut him off with tears falling.

"We did have fun! It was amazing and I'd missed you so much. I loved having that alone time with you… but then in the middle of the night you just left!" Antony had his own tears building. "You missed this guy after not seeing him for one day and you hadn't seen me in months! You couldn't even give me a whole day of your attention!"

"How was I supposed to know you wanted a whole day of attention? You're supposed to be my best friend, able to tell me anything!" She cried and wiped at her cheek. "Why didn't you say something?"

"How were you supposed to know?" He looked at her with incredulous tears, "Why do you think I kissed you that night at the party? And as far as best friends telling each other everything goes… you never told me about him! You sprung him on me on the way to see the guy… with only seconds to realize he was your boyfriend before he was kissing you when you'd been dating him for weeks!" His own anger was firing back with his breaking heart. "Why didn't you tell me about him, Lena? Why?"

"I don't know! I just didn't!" She fired back with constant tears blurring her vision and heart pounding.

"I think you do. I think you knew how I felt about you then and didn't want to tell me." He swallowed hard ignoring his own tears.

"Felt about me, then?" She asked in choked sob with eyes latching on to his, "As in you don't feel that way about me anymore?"

"You hadn't told me you were dating him, Lena." He answered more quietly and turned away.

"I'm sorry." She responded immediately feeling guilty for that.

"I'd heard him then," Antony continued still unable to look at her, "Talking to his friends about sleeping with you-" She gasped choking back a sob with fear stabbing her heart, "You were happier then I had ever seen you but it was eating at me… and I didn't want to get in the way and ruin it for you… so I let go… and I moved on, too." He added softly still not looking at her, "I started seeing Sonya at the beginning of December."

"I never slept with him." Lena choked out with angry tear of pain, horrified to hear that way back then Parker was spewing lies and it had been the reason that Antony pulled away. "I wouldn't just sleep with anybody."

"I know that now." Antony answered softly and wiped at a fallen tear, still not looking at her and she turned back to stare at the water too. "But I can't go back and change what's been done. It's too late." His voice was firm but choked with emotion.

"You slept with her?" Lena asked holding back a sob with a fear she'd never known realizing what he was saying.

"Lena… I thought you'd slept with him!" Antony's heart was breaking slowly over and over.

"You slept with her… because you thought I slept with him?" Her face flashed to his biting back on a sob and hand balled into a fist at her side when he finally looked at her and she saw his truth. "Why? To hurt me?"

"No, not to hurt you! How could I know it would hurt you when I had no idea how you felt about me? That you'd even care?" He shouted back through angry tears, "I still don't know how you feel for that matter not that it makes a difference anymore but... I was hurt, Lena! _Me!_" He pointed roughly against his chest. "Did you even stop to think about that? Or care at all how I might feel? I stopped talking to you because it hurt! I couldn't stand to see you because it hurt! It hurt that I couldn't stop thinking of you no matter how hard I tried and I couldn't get the image of you with him out of my mind! His kissing you and touching you and the things he told his friends that I heard and imagined was like knife that just kept twisting!"

"But I didn't sleep with him! It wasn't true!" She cried angrily in pain, "And of course I care how you feel! You're angry at me that I wouldn't stop to think of how you'd feel about sleeping with Parker… when I never did! And yet, you wouldn't stop to think how I'd feel before you actually did start sleeping with Sonya?"

"You were dating Parker!" He screamed back, "And you didn't even tell me! I think that sent a pretty clear message to me about how you felt about me! So why would I stop to think about you and how you'd feel before sleeping with her? Especially when I thought you'd already slept with him!"

"But I didn't!" She cried in her own scream of defense, too late.

"But I didn't know that and it doesn't matter now! I can't go back and change what I thought! I can't go back and change anything!" He balled his hands into fists and kicked the grass.

"Do you know why I broke up with him?" Lena cried angrily, "Because I wouldn't sleep with him and he accused me of saving myself for you…" She held back a sob realizing for the first time that was true, "Just before I came back to sign my Letter of Intent… and so he cheated on me! With one of my friends! He cheated on me! And now I find out that my best friend is sleeping with another one of my friends!"

"I didn't cheat on you! You can't cheat on someone you're not with, Lena!" Antony screamed with angry tears of pain that everything had gone so wrong.

"Then how can you be angry at me for sleeping with Parker, when I didn't even?" She screamed back with tears dripping off her chin.

His chest was rising and falling rapidly with heavy breath and pounding heart as he stared at her in silence. Lena inhaled a shaking breath and stepped forward rapidly, her fingers threading into his hair as she pulled him to her and fused her lips with his; her tongue sweeping gently but urgently between his lips and meeting with his in a fiery contact for the briefest of moments before be broke the kiss, grabbing her wrist and bringing her hand away from him as he began stepping back, panting and saw the truth in her dark watery eyes that he'd felt in her kiss… but it was too late.

"I'm sorry… so sorry… I'm sorry." He whispered shaking his head 'no' with new tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry." He whispered once more before turning to leave her there.

**_*Deep Inside of You*_**

Antony was walking rapidly fumbling with his keys to open his car door with blurry eyes when Irina came upon him, smiling to see him again.

"Antony…" Irina smiled at him and then it fell when he jumped turning to face her opening his car door, "What's wrong?" She asked seeing the tears streaking down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry… I never wanted to hurt her. Never. I'd rather die then hurt her… but I have," He shook his head and new tears came forward, "She's by the lake… will you please make sure she's okay?"

Irina nodded softly with concern and tears pooling in her eyes just seeing him so upset and hearing his plea, knowing that something had finally happened between the two and it wasn't good. She immediately headed towards the lake with the sun well on its way down and about to become dark while Antony took off behind her. She found her daughter sitting in the grass with legs pulled up and crying into her folded arms and knees, sobbing and shaking.

"What happened?" Irina asked sitting behind her and pulling Lena against her chest, holding her tightly.

"Parker told him in November that he was sleeping with me already then," She sobbed shaking hard, "And Antony was hurt so he started dating Sonya when he got back trying to forget about me and slept with her because he thought I slept with Parker! But I didn't and now it's too late!" The sad truth was, she had started dating Parker in an attempt to stop thinking about Antony, and missing him and to try to stop the changing feelings for him in her heart. That was the truth and why she didn't tell Antony about Parker.

Irina sighed with her own falling tears, holding her tightly knowing exactly what this felt like and understanding the situation all too well from both sides. And in this tragic situation it was confirmed, that her daughter loved Antony as more then a best friend and he, her, for she would not be so upset he slept with another nor he of her if it was anything less.

"I kissed him and he… and he," She hiccupped in her sobs further shattering in her mother's arms, "And he just walked away… it's too late!"

Antony drove away with his own blinding tears and crying having never made Lena cry before in his life and feeling like his heart had been ripped out feeling that she loved him in her kiss and seeing it in her eyes and her reaction to finding out he'd slept with another… but it was too late. He was still with Sonya and unlike Parker Smith, she wasn't cruel or deserving to be cast aside.

Seeing Lena back at school on Monday was sheer torture and now she was the one avoiding him at all cost, refusing to look at him and refusing to take his phone calls. When the friends went out, she stayed home or if she was out and he'd turn up with Sonya she'd leave almost instantly feeling the hurt he had in seeing her with Parker. She consumed his thoughts night and day and the way her lips felt against his and the look in her eyes and he in hers.

Lena was fairly silent and withdrawn the first couple-of weeks back and spent a great majority of her time in her room, in the gym working out or dancing and running. Everyone knew what had happened with Antony and it tore them apart to see the two who had been inseparable never further apart. Awkwardness abound when Antony would come over to see Jaxx and Nicholas and the three would go out and Lena would be around, she'd simply silently disappear while everyone watched the two with rapt fascination.

They weren't angry at Antony, how could they be? He hadn't done anything wrong really, it was just the circumstance and they had to respect him even more for not just dumping his girlfriend of five months to jump on Lena. He was trying to do the right thing and sadly, as if often does, fails everyone involved.

Just before graduation and literally the difference between day and night, she changed completely. Suddenly she was out and about, talking and laughing with everyone and going out with her friends all the time again. She didn't seemed bothered by Antony's presence at all and wouldn't leave the room any more and actually engaged him in conversation on occasion sharing laughs and smiles. On the exterior it had seemed she had made peace with the way things were now, accepting the 'just friends' relationship she had with Antony now but Irina could still see the loss, hurt, longing and love still whispering around in her eyes. She recognized it easily after having felt the same during her time in CIA custody with Jack.

"So… you're just 'okay' now?" Irina asked hesitantly watching her daughter get ready to go out for the night with all her friends having just graduated today. Sydney's eyes flashed to her mother's who was sitting beside her on the bed petting Nana, both of them trying to probe Lena and gauge what was really going on with her and to what depth. They both knew she was giving flawless 'performances' of being okay when inside she was anything but.

"I guess so. What choice do I have? He's sorry. I'm sorry. Doesn't change anything… He's moved on and my sitting around here moping about it won't do anything to change it." Lena slid the earring into her ear speaking in a voice that carried no emotion and was part of the calm exterior they were trying to get beneath. "I'm moving on too and after having my heart broken twice in less then three weeks I'm thinking I'm done with boys for a while… well relationship wise anyway." She smiled coyly in the mirror at them and went back to putting in the other earring while Sydney and Irina both shared a look of flash fear; they now saw where this train was headed and it could be disaster if not on the path for the right reasons.

Lena leaned on the dresser and lifted her leg up slight behind her to pull the thin strap up over the back of her heel as she put her high heels on matching her killer red dress that she'd gotten just for tonight and was simply breathtaking. Irina knew that Jack was going to have a fit when he saw her and how the dress only came mid thigh but Lena looked gorgeous and definitely older then she was… something else she had in common with her mother whom at the same age, was able to convince Jack and everyone else she was years older then she was.

Irina's mind suddenly jolted with that realization and felt her heart skip a beat looking at Lena now before her and realizing that she was almost the exact same age she had been when she left for America.

"Mama, where'd you go just now?" Lena asked with a smile glancing over at Sydney to see if her sister had noticed too.

"Just looking at you… and realizing you're almost exactly the same age I was when I left for America… meeting your father in just a few months by comparison." Irina answered quietly with a small smile.

Both Lena and Sydney looked at her with slightly wide eyes, staring for just a moment always knowing that their mother had been 'impossibly' young as often described, when she moved to America on her mission but to 'be' that age now and 'see' that age in Sydney's case, was quite eye opening.

"Well good. Then you can remind Daddy of that when he sees my dress because I know he's going to freak out and say I'm '_too young'_ to dress like this." Lena laughed softly kissing her mother's cheek and then Sydney's finished getting ready. "If you were grown up enough to move around the world as a spy in enemy territory and start a relationship with a target… I'm certainly old enough to go to the club in a dress like this on the night of my graduation and get a little wild." She smirked at her mother, scratching Nana behind the ear and kissing the dog before opening the door to head down stairs.

"Sweetheart," Irina paused in the doorway, cupping her face gently with the backs of her fingers barely touching Lena's face, "Please don't do anything that you don't really think about first… that you'll regret later and break your heart further." She spoke softly worrying that Lena was going to go out and get 'wild' with some guy in an effort to get past what happened with Antony, knowing he was sleeping with his girlfriend. She'd tried this to forget Jack at times when the pain was unbearable and she just wanted to forget for a while or 'hurt' him in the way even if he wasn't aware of it. She wanted to hurt the memory of the man she carried inside her who'd broken her heart and she feared Lena, who was so much like her, would do the same. "Please… I'm speaking from experience here."

**_*She Drives Me Crazy*_**

Lena only answered by kissing her mother on the lips with a soft smile and then turned to continue downstairs to meet the others.

Antony had been standing with Nicholas, Anya, Isabella and Mitchell who were waiting for Lena to finish getting ready to head out and talking with their parents and the others all gathered to say 'goodbye' and his heart skipped a beat having to remind himself to breathe when he saw her walking down the marble staircase.

Quite a few gasps and 'Oh my Gods' rang around the foyer having never seen Lena look more gorgeous or grown up.

"And I'm still trying to figure out why any asshole punk kid would want to cheat on her?" Weiss whispered to Sophia about the gorgeous goddess in red descending the staircase in red standing beside Antony whose heart was pounding at the sight.

"You look… gorgeous," Jack finally spit out when Lena was a few steps away, "But you can absolutely not wear that out to the club."

"Daddy," She gave him her famous smile and playful eyes, "Mama was just telling us upstairs how she was almost the exact same age I am now, when she moved to America for her assignment and if she was old enough to do that and old enough to start her relationship with you." She slanted her eyebrow at him with a smirk, "Then I think I'm old enough leave the house dressed like this."

They were all gaping at Lena and then Irina coming to the same 'vivid' realization of Irina's real age when she went on her mission and the fact that Lena looked exactly like Irina that they could picture Irina at the same age… especially Jack who was very distraught over this realization.

"Yeah but I didn't know she was your age! She told me she was older! I thought she was older!" Jack was getting flustered and knew his defense would fail; it was just hard letting go… especially when she looked and acted so grown up. The others were snickering at him and his reaction.

"That doesn't change how old she really was, Daddy. If she was mature enough to do that… move around the world into enemy territory and start a relationship with one… don't you think I'm old enough to at least go out with my friends and dance on my graduation? Which is by '_far_," She exaggerated the word, "Much less intense than what Mama did and you really shouldn't give me a hard time about it." She flashed her famous smile and eyes at him that he could never say no to, on her or her mother.

"Jack…" Irina looked at him with the same look and soft voice, tag teaming him and causing him to sigh and rub his temples making everyone snicker again. "Let her go." The words meant so much more then just this night. Irina's eyes held fast to his.

"Daddy, please… I need to go out and have fun again. Feel alive and not so sad anymore." Lena whispered quietly to him with a pleading look in her eyes really meaning what she was saying. "I need this."

Jack's mind couldn't help but flash back years ago to Irina saying the same thing with the same look in her eyes in explaining why she 'needed' to feel 'alive' again by driving wildly after dying with lethal injection and he couldn't deny Lena the same need. In truth he was so happy to see her smiling and happy again, playful and talking but he also saw the sadness lurking in her eyes, unable to hide it from him with her mother's eyes he knew so well.

He sighed heavily and she smiled, kissing his cheek knowing he'd just given in. "Thank you, Daddy."

"You're welcome… and you do look so beautiful," He kissed her cheek back with a soft smile, "Be careful."

"I will." She smiled widely and kissed her mother goodnight as well before heading out the door.

Antony had to repeatedly swallow hard sitting in the back of the limo in the seat next to Lena and having her crossed legs right in his line of sight. Her skirt so dangerously high that with legs crossed and sitting she didn't look like she had any pants on with the amount of thigh exposed. She was chatting with Anya in the seat before them and laughing completely ignoring him and he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away.

She was driving him crazy and when they'd accidentally brushed arms or her legs would swing into his as the car turned corners he thought he was going to burst into flames with the tension between them so high. He'd broken up with Sonya a week ago, unable to keep it going now that Lena was back and he'd tasted her kiss, felt her love for him in that kiss and saw it in her eyes and he couldn't stop thinking about her and knew there was no way he was going to be able to sleep with Sonya ever again without seeing Lena's tearful face or hear her voice asking him that question.

He still hadn't told Lena… was actually afraid to, seeing as how she seemed to be moving on, or as he feared, already with the way she could talk to him casually and laugh with him like they used to with no awkwardness on her part like there was unresolved feelings lurking.

But his heart still flutter with hope in the way she would never hold his gaze very long and to him it seemed, she was afraid that if she did… he would see that she still did love him. The moment they stepped out of the limo and pushed through the front of the line, it was clear that all eyes were on her… some with mouths agape at her stunning beauty and simply, sexy.

* * *

"Welcome home, Tsarevicha!" One man shouted smiling and obviously thrilled to have her back and eyes-wide staring at her endless legs.

**_*So Cold*_**

"I'm so happy to be back in Russia where you can actually go out and have fun and not be restricted by drastically high age limits on clubs like in the States!" Anya smiled bringing drinks over for everyone with the thundering club music going on around them as the evening started winding up with everyone sitting around tables casually drinking and chatting before the dancing geared up.

The song currently playing was greatly unnerving to both Lena and Antony whose eyes would meet briefly across the high top table and then quickly divert hearing the lyrics. They'd met a large majority of their class there as well as the majority of the grade below them and more friends with Nicholas, Nadia and Anya all in that class.

"Tania!" Nadia cried out seeing her friend and waving her over, "I was wondering when you were going to get here?"

"I had to help Mama with some things before I could get away," Tania smiled, "Sorry to be late but Congratulations!" She squealed with excitement after hugging Nadia hello and then flung her arms around Lena. "I can't believe you're already done with school! And you too!" She hugged Antony next, "I can still remember the first day you came to class… holding Lena's hand," She flashed her smile over at Lena, "That was so long ago! We were so little but I remember it like yesterday! You two holding hands and Lena introducing 'her new friend' and hearing all about how the two of you escaped the 'mean people." Tania shook her head, "God, that was such an insane time! I saw turtles washing toward me in my sleep for months after that!" She chuckled softly, able to look back at such a terrifying event now in a positive light with the positive outcome.

_'You're lucky that's all you had nightmares about_,' Lena thought to herself taking another drink as the images of the woman slapping her and screaming at her, forcing food down her mouth, Nadia unconscious and running blindly through the wheat flitted through her mind rapidly as they used to then in her nightmares. Antony was watching her in that moment and knew exactly what she was thinking about as the girl continued on.

"We're so lucky that turned out so well! Just think… if the _Lena-nator_ here, hadn't escaped, you two," Tania pointed with a wave of her hand between Nadia and Antony, "would be brother and sister somewhere out there in the world and Lena would be God knows where! Sold somewhere on the Black Market as a sex slave," She shivered and shook her head again, "Damn good thing your Mama has almost stamped that shit out!" Her eyebrows rose raising her glass in a mock salute to Irina for almost getting rid of the Black Market that would be gone eventually, "And damn good thing you can run like the wind and were able to get out of there and get help! If you hadn't of run, none of you would be sitting here today!"

Tania looked at the three in disbelief coming to her own realization really thinking about it for the first time as did the others at the table including the three involved. Antony and Lena's eyes finally met thinking about that night and all the ones since with simultaneous 'I'm sorry' flashing through both their eyes that they ended up like this.

"Actually," Lena spoke staring at Antony, "If he hadn't told me to run… we wouldn't be here. He's the real hero. I just listened to what he said because I knew he was trying to protect me." Her voice faded out slowly and she turned away just after, "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom. Nadia…" She looked at her sister hoping she'd come with her as she needed a life raft, feeling like she was going to drown if she stared into his liquid blue pools any longer.

"Isn't it great having us all back together again?" Tania smiled at everyone around the table, "We missed you guys tremendously!" She threw her arms around Nicholas with a laugh kissing his cheek and then Anya's.

Lena and Nadia were hardly in the bathroom before Lena wheeled around and wrapped her arms around her sister's neck needing to be held so badly. Nadia's heart sank knowing why and returned the embrace, just standing there silently and letting their hearts do the talking.

"How are you doing?" Isabella asked her brother quietly sliding up next to him at the table while everyone else chattered endlessly over the rising music volume. She knew how much agony he'd been in since Lena left last year and then watched it dip to terrible depths upon his return in November. He seemed 'better' when he started dating Sonya but she knew her brother and he was still hurting even then.

With Lena's return, the agony of being torn and the longing for her were back in his eyes tenfold even though she was sitting across the table from him and back in Russia. She and Nicholas's eyes both caught and flashed to their siblings having watched their reactions intently to Tania talking about the abduction that had brought them all together and hearing Lena's reaction, saying that Antony _was the hero because he told her to run, because he was trying to protect her_. She and Nicholas had both seen fiery bolts of electricity and mutual longing shoot through their gazes in that moment after.

"Why haven't you told her yet?" Isabella asked when her brother answered her first question with telltale silence. "It's obvious how she feels about you. Now is the time to do something! Stop wasting it! You've already wasted so much time!" She whispered in a scold and then slid out of the chair deciding to take things into her own hands. She found Lena and Nadia in the bathroom with Lena dabbing at her eyes to keep her make up from getting too ruined by the occasional tear that had escaped she was trying to keep in.

"He's not with her anymore, you know?" Isabella spoke softly and brushed Lena's hair over her shoulder catching the flash in her dark eyes with surprise and question. "There was no way it would work after you came back… there was no way it was ever really going to work anyway… not with how he feels about you."

Lena swallowed hard, "Why didn't he say anything?" She asked quietly.

"I don't know… you'll have to ask him." Isabella gave her a small smile.

"We can't seem to speak to each other at all and ever say what we really mean." Lena caught another tear shaking her head softly.

"Keep trying." Nadia smiled at her sister knowing how much she really did love Antony even if she couldn't fully realize it herself.

**_*All I Ever Wanted*_**

As the hours ticked by the club became packed and hot bodies were pressed together on the dance floor with all levels full of people. Lena and everyone else were dancing and the tension between she and Antony was like a radiating fire that everyone around them could feel even though they were dancing on opposite sides of the floor. His eyes never leaving her watching as guy after guy danced around her and tried to make their moves, some more bold then others with alcohol and he was happy that Max was there with the other bodyguards to step in when need be, pulling the drunk lust driven guys away.

Sydney walked into the kitchen and watched what those who were standing around, were really doing, then listening and then gasped when she realized what was going on hearing her father speak into a walkie-talkie, saying, "_Too close, Max_." And then watched on the massive monitor screen that came out of the ceiling showing the interior of the club and seeing Max weave in through the dancers and then pull a guy dancing with Lena away and push him into another part of the dance floor with a menacing glare.

"Dad!" She gasped in disbelief and all the heads of all the men taking part in this 'policing' turned towards her, "You're spying on her? And not just spying? But dictating who she can dance with?"

"Those fools are drunk and grinding on her, Sydney!" Jack tried to offer up in defense while she looked astounded at all their faces, having made some kind of night out of it with beer in hand and munching on munchies while watching. "We're just trying to save her from another mess… and I knew that dress was a bad idea! Look at her! They're like moths to flame!" He pointed to where four new guys had moved in around her.

"Well aren't you hypocritical being as you're the same way with Mom! Moth to flame…" She slanted her eyebrow taunting him, "And while it's a sweet gesture that you're trying to keep her from getting her heart broken again… she's going to be extremely pissed when she finds out about this and knowing how she feels about her privacy right now after being so exploited…" Her voice softened with sadness at that, "She really will feel violated to find out her own family is doing the same." She cocked her eyebrow at them making them feel guilty.

"But… but, look!" Jack faltered pointing to a young man in a sailor's uniform grinding against Lena from behind.

"Yeah, I'm looking… she's dancing, Dad… and I have faith in her that if she feels like one of them is getting out of hand, she'll take care of it, see!" She pointed to where Lena had stopped dancing and pushed the guy off her with fingers to his chest, speaking to him saying something they couldn't hear and the guy put his hand over his heart, kissed her hand and stepped back so she could leave the dance floor. "She's quite capable of taking care of herself and after the very hard lesson she learned with Parker… she's very cautious. And besides… do you really think Max would let one of them hurt her?"

Lena weaved in and out of the people finding space finally when she slipped into the hallway headed towards the restrooms and stopped in her tracks when she saw Antony heading towards her and watched him stop as well. Time seemed to stand still for a moment around them with neither wanting to walk forward knowing they would undoubtedly touch in passing through the space and afraid of what that touch would do in unraveling their weakened defenses.

'_Keep trying_.' Nadia's voice echoed in her head and through her heart and she rapidly stepped forward, grasping his hand and pulling him back with her into the bathroom and locking the door behind them before pressing him back against the door and sliding one leg between his so they would be as close as possible when she leaned in with her body pressing into his.

"What are you doing?" Antony asked breathless with her chest pressed tightly against his and her face mere inches from his own.

"Letting our hearts talk to each other since our mouths can't seem to express what we want to say." Lena answered in a breathless whisper with her heart pounding against her chest into his so much so that he could feel it and in turn, she felt the pounding of his. Their beats were syncopated and hers seemed to answer his and vice versa.

They stood like that for a moment staring into each others eyes before her eyes moved to his lips and leaned in slightly and Antony leaned in the rest of the way, his hand immediately grasping the back of her head and threading into her hair with mouth searing to hers and tongue sweeping into to stake claim with wild abandon, and electric shock of brushing tongues that made them both moan softly and deepen the kiss, tasting, savoring, remembering and claiming leaving little doubt about the way they felt for each other.

The heat between their pressed bodies quickly igniting at finally expressing how they felt about each other, finally able to touch, and taste and feel what they'd been longing for and denying for too long. Her hand greedily swept over his chest and down his sides with his hands doing the same to her, feeling the curves for the first time that had long ago been committed to visual memory and now committing them in another sense of touch.

Her body seemed to heat up beneath his finger tips radiating heat through her dress and gasped when his fingers met with the bare skin on the back of her thigh, slipping higher underneath her short skirt and sliding upwards towards her ass.

Lena's body felt on fire and melting at the same time with her mind in a fog with everything except for the way she felt his body reacting to hers with the bulge growing and straining against her thigh pressing in between his legs and her fingers moved down to graze over it making him inhale sharply in a shaking breath against her mouth and still in his kiss.

She pressed her mouth and body further into his, sucking his tongue into her mouth and caressing him through his pants making him moan softly against her and his hands skim up under her dress and over her naked ass cheek, pulling her up higher and against him mindful of the fact she was now undoing his pants and rubbing against his leg with the rocking of her pelvis.

His hand grasping her breast through the thin fabric of her dress and making her hiss softly when his thumb grazed over the nipple, flicking it gently arousing her passion and then gasped himself when her hand came in contact for the first time with his flaming heat, straining against his boxer briefs and jumping with her touch. He flipped them around rapidly, pressing her against the door and pulling her leg over his hip and sweeping his tongue through her mouth again and then over her neck, thrusting his straining bulge against her center. Her hands went to free him and Antony realized what they were about to do, already well on their way there and their location and stopped suddenly, pulling back quickly and leaning against the counter panting heavily.

"We can't do this." He shook his head softly.

"What?" Lena's heart was pounding and dropped into her stomach watching him quickly redoing his pants.

"We can't do this. Not now and not here." He couldn't look at her still shaking his head and disgusted at himself.

"Why not?" Lena asked with tears in her eyes forming instantly.

"Because I don't want your first time to be a bathroom quickie with me. You deserve more then that and I won't do it. I'm sorry." His eyes flashed to hers' with tears in them and he shook his head slowly again. "I just can't do this with you."

"With me?" Lena asked in a choked whisper and head slightly tilted with hurt and disbelief that he was rejecting her again. That he couldn't do this with her… She shook her own head softly wishing she'd never pulled him in this room and unlocked the door and spun out into the hallway practically running.

"Lena!" Antony called after her frantically having seen the look in her eyes just before she turned and left that she thought he was rejecting her again; that he didn't want her when nothing could be further from the truth.

"Take me home please, Max!" Lena cried with tears streaming down her cheeks as she flew past her bodyguard waiting at the end of the hallway and he quickly stepped in separating her from Antony about to catch up with her and looked at the blonde man, shaking his head sharply once not to follow seeing how upset Lena was and Antony stopped with shoulders falling.

"What happened?" Nicholas was at his side instantly seeing his sister storming out and concerned.

"We kissed… things got intense pretty fast but I put the brakes on because she deserves more than a quickie in a bathroom." Antony sighed and grabbed his head in aggravation, fisting his hair wanting to pull it out, "She took it the wrong way and thought I was rejecting her again… but I wasn't! God damnit! Why does this have to be so hard?" He swore seeing her disappear out the backdoor with Max.

Nicholas sighed slapping him slightly on the back and squeezing his shoulder, knowing how much Antony really cared about Lena, as was evident by this latest mishap if he had the chance to have sex with her and he stopped it, wanting better for her then a bathroom and felt badly they just couldn't seem to get it together.

"Well look at the bright side, you kissed right? Something good had to happen to get you at least that far… find a way to do it again." Nicholas gave him a slight grin.

"I don't want to just sleep with your sister." Antony's eyes flashed to his with a hint of disbelief.

"No, I know you don't. You misunderstood what I meant," Nicholas smiled and shook Antony with his hand still on his shoulder, "What I meant was… something was obviously happening before you guys kissed that was good… if you got to the point of actually kissing. Whatever you were talking about you made some progress… I'm just saying go back to whatever you were talking about that you made progress with and try it again."

"How is it that you know so much about women and relationships?" Antony looked at him with a bewildered smile and then laughed, "Forget I asked, I know. I temporarily forgot who your parents are and where you live."

Nicholas laughed, "Yeah… my parents seem to be the prime examples of what not to do and what to do in a relationship all in one." He shook his head with pride, "And yeah, I live with not only my Mama and three sisters, but five nieces, four female cousins, my aunt, my sister-in-law and my sister's mother-in-law… not to mention my Godmothers who are always around, so that makes eighteen women around me all the time… and if I don't end up as the next Casanova with all this knowledge of women, I'm going to be sorely disappointed." He joked with a serious look on his face and Antony burst out laughing and so did Nicholas, "So you've known my sister and my family long enough to know then, that when Romanov women tell you to back off they mean it… but then after a little while, they want you to come after them… right?" He sobered with a slanted eyebrow and crooked smile.

"Yeah, I know…" Antony laughed softly with the look of longing and regret returning staring at the door, "I'm just waiting and giving her that 'little while' before I go after her."

"How are you plan on getting there since she just took the limo and it won't come back for the rest of us for at least a half hour by the time it makes the trip to Alexander and back?" Nicholas asked with a smile.

"I'm going to have borrow somebody's car, probably Mischa's bike." He nodded towards his friend who just got a beautiful new black speed bike for his graduation gift. "Think he'll let me?" He asked Nicholas with a smile.

"If it's to go after, Lena… yeah. We've all been waiting for the two of you to get together for a long time now," Nicholas smiled and laughed softly seeing Antony's surprise, "And after the way the bastardass Parker treated her… we're all ready to see her with a guy we know," He gave him the famous Derevko eyebrow and smirk that contained a hint of a warning, "will treat her right."

"I plan on it, Buddy…" Antony smiled softly, "If I could ever get it together enough to not screw it up every time I'm near her…" He shook his head softly, "I've never been more nervous in all my life except for when I'm around her now… which is so weird and ridiculous since we've known each other since we were five."

"Well you weren't in love with her then." Nicholas smiled softly and then smirked seeing Antony's eyes flash up to his again that he knew.

"I don't know… I think I might have been a little bit in love with her already then." Antony smiled thinking back, "In fact I know I was." He laughed softly, "That obvious huh?" He scratched his head with a shy smile that it seemed everyone knew he was in love with Lena.

"That obvious." Nicholas laughed nodding. "Now that you've solved the problem of getting there… how are you planning on getting in? Knowing that my sister is exactly like my mother when she's upset, she's bound to have told Dmitri, not to let you through the gate when the guards buzz you for permission to enter."

"You're mother really does that to your father?" Antony looked at him in surprise having never in his life seen the couple fighting and couldn't imagine such a fight that would warrant the Tsar refusing entry to her husband.

"No," Nicholas laughed, "She's never refused him entry that I know of… I'm just talking about the times I have seen them argue and she makes him sleep in another bedroom… but only until she either goes in to sleep with him in there or he comes back their room to sleep with her because they can't stand to sleep a part." He smiled shaking his head, "They're crazy…" He laughed softly, "And that's very rare only a couple of times that I can remember that happening but from what I've learned about their past… she has kicked him out onto the couch before and meant it when he really did something to hurt her."

"Like in Jakarta?" Antony asked softly having seen the films himself, read the book, and talked about it all with Lena and remembered that was one such occasion that she did throw Jack out of the bedroom and he did end up on the couch and didn't end up back with her for another week until he flew to Russia and pleaded with her to take him back.

Nicholas nodded with a sad smile, "Yes… Jakarta being one of them. And Lena is so much like her I'm willing to bet my life on the fact she's upset enough to tell Dmitri to refuse you entry knowing you were trying to follow her out of the club tonight and most likely come to the palace and not wanting to see you so you're going to have to find another way in… probably over the fence but that's pretty damn dangerous if the guards catch you they won't hesitate to shoot." Nicholas shook his head, "Maybe you'd better just wait and come over tomorrow or at least wait until we go home, I don't want you to get shot." He laughed softly though not kidding.

"True… but also knowing Lena well enough that if she went as far as telling Dmitri not to let me gain entry then she's also told him to have the driver just take me home straight from the club instead of coming back to get my car to go home and had the other driver deliver my car to my house…" He smiled, "The women in your family have a genius and thorough temper when upset. They manage to think of everything and cover their bases, I've noticed." He laughed softly and Nicholas did as well. "So I guess I'm going over the iron curtain to get to her." He sighed thinking about how dangerous it actually was and that it was completely insane.

"You're crazy." Nicholas shook his head.

"Crazy in love." Antony smiled, "I think I'm going over in the same place your Dad did when he came after your mother the first time." He smiled, "He was crazy in love then, too."

"Yes, but they were trained field agents and you're a Cadet in the Air Force Academy," Nicholas laughed, "Not entirely the same thing."

"Have faith!" Antony slapped him on the back with a smile, "I can do this."

"Well let's hope you can because if you get shot and killed doing this insanity she'll never forgive herself for not letting you just come through the gate!" Nicholas gave him a sharp look, "I mean it… be careful."

"I will." Antony nodded with a smile and set out to obtain the motorcycle.

When Antony left, Nicholas's worry grew tenfold and he called Dmitri, "Papa Dmi," he spoke when Dmitri answered.

"Yes, Your Highness?" Dmitri smiled, loving it every time he heard them address him as such.

"I know Lena probably told you not to let Antony through the gates, right?"

"Yes, she did. She was very upset in fact, she just got home and went to bed." Concern flooded into the older man's voice.

"Well I'm going to tell you that he's on his way anyway and is so desperate to talk to her to make things right that he's planning on going over the wall so please… please tell the guards not to shoot the blonde haired guy jumping over the fence if they see him. Lena would never forgive herself if he got shot trying to come and talk to her."

"And you think his speaking with her is a good idea, Your Highness? She was so very upset…" Dmitri didn't sound so sure but was slightly impressed with the young man's willingness to jump the fence and take the chance for Lena.

"Yes, Papa… I think that after he talks to her she'll be better then okay." Nicholas smiled, "Just please tell them not to shoot at him. I think he's planning on going over the west fence."

"Ok Your Highness, I trust you know what's best for her in this situation." Dmitri consented knowing that she and Nicholas were close.

"Thank you, Papa and Goodnight."

* * *

Dmitri did as promised and the guards at the nearest gate, now on the lookout for Antony, had a good laugh watching him go over the fence and then run rapidly through the trees seeking cover as he made his way towards the palace.

Antony made it to the side of the palace and stood in the shadow of the tree trying to figure a way to get up onto the massive second story balcony in front of Lena's room. He figured he could try to climb up the vines growing around one of the massive pillars but he'd probably fall and break his leg and with that thought of breaking legs, he remembered Lena breaking her leg jumping out of the climbing tree and the tree house and his face lit into a smile when he went running towards it.

He positioned the ladder not quite tall enough but would get him close enough against the pillar and started climbing. He threw his arms over the ledge of the railing and whisper shouted through her open balcony doors with the curtains dancing lightly in the soft breeze of summer. "Lena!" He whispered again trying to get her attention and not wanting to scare her by coming through her doors unannounced. "Lena!" He called out again jumping slightly off the very top of the ladder to be able to pull himself up and over the rest of the way.

Lena's eyes were wide when she saw him struggling to climb over the balcony railing just outside her room and ran to help him, hoping he didn't fall. "What are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed? How did you get in here?" She asked rapidly helping to pull him all the way over, "And how did you get up here?" She asked looking over the side and seeing the little ladder, "Where did you get that from?"

Antony smiled at the way she was rambling in asking questions without letting him answer, "I got the ladder from the tree house, and I got in by climbing over the fence-"

"Are you crazy? They could have shot you!" She hit him in the arm with wide-eyed fear and he laughed softly.

_***The First Kiss***_

"It would have been worth it. I had to talk to you." He smiled and stepped forward, pulling her body against his, chest pressed to chest and looking into her eyes.

"What are you-" She gasped with her heart starting to pick up speed at being so close to him again.

"Shhh…" He put his finger to her lips gently with a smile. "They're talking." His smile widened as he began to feel her heart pounding madly against his chest and once again their hearts fell into a call and answer pattern.

They stood like that for quite some time in the moonlight and not moving except for the pounding of their hearts and the tears forming in both of their eyes looking at each other intently. Her eyes once again fell to his lips, wanting to kiss him so badly and leaned in slightly with him closing the distance in a soft kiss with his tongue barely brushing against her lip just as it had the first time he ever kissed her.

They stilled with a short gasp of a breath and falling tears before her tongue swept out gently to brush against his own lip and then tongue that turned into a slow, and passionate kiss with neither in a hurry. His hand reached up and tucked the hair behind her ear with forehead resting against her's when the kiss ended and both smiled softly.

"I wasn't rejecting you… I do want to make love to you someday… but not in a bathroom of a club," He smiled softly brushing the backs of his fingers against her cheek staring into her eyes, "At least not for our first time." He chuckled softly wiping at her tears and trying to get her to laugh as well. "I'm not going anywhere… all I want is you."

"And all I want is you…" Lena answered with a soft teary smile. "I'm not going anywhere either."

"Then we don't have to rush. I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for… that we're not ready for. I'd do anything for you, Lena… anything." Antony smiled softly at her wiping another one of her tears as his own fell.

She leaned up and kissed him again softly with hearts still pounding against each other. "You'd better go." Lena smiled against his lips, kissing him quickly one more time and then separated.

Antony nodded knowing he should go even as he kissed her again, cupping her face and trying to separate their bodies even as their lips remained together in short kisses that made them both laugh softly. He finally extracted himself enough to climb back over the side of the railing, hanging on tightly with his arms.

"Will you go out with me tomorrow night, Lena Alix Irina Ivanova Romanova-Bristowva?" He asked with a radiant smile, hanging over the side of the railing.

"Yes! Now will you go please before you get caught here and please, go out the front gate so you don't get shot!" Lena laughed softly, kissing him again and laughing softly when he came back up to kiss her once more before descending down the ladder.

"Goodnight!" He whisper-yelled back up to her with a smile.

"Goodnight!" She smiled back at him from the balcony waving softly until he disappeared into the shadows. She clasped her hands in front of her heart with a teary smile looking up at the moon and the stars around it and whispered, "Thank you."

Irina wiped at the fallen tears on her face watching as her daughter went back into her room. She and Jack had both heard the initial whisper yells of the their daughters name through their own open balcony doors and watched with smiles and held back chuckles to see Antony trying to climb over the railing and Lena helping him.

They'd heard everything they'd said and it was when Antony pressed his chest to Lena's and told her 'Shhh… they're talking' in speaking about their hearts, that Irina's tears would not stop falling. Jack too couldn't help but blink back the tears standing with his arms wrapped around Irina's shoulders watching and listening, hearing about the young man's respect for his daughter and also his love. Antony was no Parker… From day one, at only five years old, Antony always had Lena's best interests at heart. Watching and listening to them, neither Jack nor Irina could help but think about how much they reminded them of themselves.

"Can you believe we were ever that young once?" Irina whispered turning in Jack's arms with a teary smile thinking about their own beginning at the same age.

"Sometimes I can't," Jack smiled brushing his hand against her face with the backs of his own fingers, "And other times like just then… I can still feel the way your heart was pounding against my chest," He pulled her in tightly so that their chests were pressed together and he could feel her pounding heart, "And feel your breath against my face." He smiled moving in closely until they were almost touching, "And feel the way your lips felt on mine… the first time I kissed you," His words were barely a whisper and his mouth met with her's in a kiss much like the first in the hallway that night so long ago.


	52. Chapter 52

_**AN: Magazine cover with Lena is posted on the tumblr page for Absolution and Forever & Always from this chapter as well as current photo of Nadia. **_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): I Love You (BT Mix) **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, I Only Have Eyes For You **_**by The Flamingos**_**, A Thousand Years-Part II. **_**by Christina Perry**_**, The First Kiss **_**by George Fenton**_**, Armageddon Piano **_**by Trevor Rabin**_**, I'm Alive **_**by Celine Dion**_**, Everytime We Touch**_** by Cascada**_**, Young Hearts Run Free (remix) **_**by Kym Mazelle from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack.**

* * *

FIFTY-TWO

o

When Lena couldn't stop smiling at breakfast the following morning and kissed everyone _good morning_ with a radiant glow, humming to herself as she spread cream cheese on her bagel and happier than they'd seen her in a very long time, Dmitri's eyes flashed to Nicholas who smiled and winked making the older man laugh softly.

"So Lena, are you going to tell us what has you in such a fantastic mood this morning?" Katya asked with hands folded under her chin taking keen interest in the mood change of her niece.

"I was asked out on a date tonight." Lena's smile widened and she literally couldn't stop that only made Jack and Irina's widen as they stared down the table at each other, loving seeing her so happy after so much sadness.

"Oh real-ly," Sydney's voice swayed and smiled softly, "And here I thought last night you said you were done with guys for a while? Who is the lucky man that made you change your mind?"

"Antony." Lena's eyes flashed up to her sister's with tight lipped smile so wide it almost hurt and she had to giggle softly seeing the entire table's eyes widen except for her parents, her younger brother and Dmitri who all looked a bit... _suspicious_, she thought, though extremely happy for her.

As they were eating breakfast and laughing, Lena came to another realization listening to her mother and father tell more stories about when they'd first met, talking about how she was Lena's age; with her mother sharing her thoughts on what she first thought about America and Jack and his thoughts about her that had them all laughing.

Lena realized listening to her mother, that she was not only the age that her mother was when she had met her father, but that she was now the same age as her mother, the last time she ever saw her own mother, Babushka Anya… having never returned to Russia after she left and when she finally did return years later, her mother, Anastasia had been murdered.

Lena's heart dropped into her stomach suddenly, looking over at her mother and trying to imagine what that would be like, at her age and having this be the last time she'd ever see her mother or hear her voice and tears immediately began to form in her eyes with a shiver running through her.

Irina was laughing and smiling at Jack's story and it was Katya who noticed the silent tears running from Lena's eyes first as she sat staring at her mother.

"Lena, Darling… what's wrong?" Katya asked quickly with concern as they had all been smiling and laughing and it was clear Lena was somewhere else. She'd no sooner asked the question when Lena stood rapidly and came around the corner of the table to her mother at the end and threw her arms around her neck, holding on tightly causing everyone to share questioning glances at the sudden mood change.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Irina asked returning the hug and stroking her hand down the back of Lena's head with worry in her heart and eyes.

"I just realized you not only met Daddy at this age…" Lena replied quietly speaking over her mother's shoulder and holding her more tightly, "But you never again saw Babushka Anya. You lost your mother at sixteen and I can't imagine never seeing you again or hearing your voice at my age…I just can't imagine losing you, Mama, not when I need you so much. I just had to hold you… I'm so sorry, Mama." She cried softly, thinking about what a gaping hole it would leave in her life and heart if her mother were suddenly ripped from away.

There were instant tears in Katya's eyes at this reminder as well and Marcelo took her hand under the table, swallowing hard at his own first realization of just _how young_ Irina had been when she lost her mother, not just her mother… but her '_family_' when he looked at Lena. He'd forget sometimes, that Irina didn't '_lose_' Anastasia when they all had in 1981, but years before that when Irina said her last goodbye and moved to America for her mission. Marcelo had only known Anastasia for eight years when she died but that was half as long as Irina had and it was tragic to really come to that realization fully when looking at Irina with Lena now.

Sydney's eyes watered with her own comparison that even with the twenty-one years absent from her life, she now had known her mother longer and had more time with her, than her mother had with her own; realizing yet another new depth and facet as to why her mother was the _kind_ of mother she was. She really did now, not only understand why her mother's, _mother and child connection_, was so strong and deeply connected within because of losing Sydney after only six years but also because she'd lost her own mother far too early in her life, not enough time with either of them.

The image of a sixteen-year old Irina sitting on the piano bench playing the last of _'Clair de Lune'_ and joined by Anastasia with the two crying and leaning their heads onto each other in silence just before Irina left for America, resonated in Jack's mind looking at his wife and daughter now, breaking his heart at the amount of loss in Irina's life.

The doorbell rang shortly after Lena's hugging Irina and Dmitri went to answer it; he smiled softly at the blonde haired young man and ushered him inside where Antony paused by the entrance in the foyer.

"Dmitri, I have come to see Lena, and Nicolai and Jaxx of course, but I would like to speak with Her Majesty and His Royal Highness for a moment alone first, please." Antony swallowed hard having never spoken to them alone together since he was five and Irina had come to get him from his hospital room. He'd never been nervous around them, having slept in their bed and all when he was little on more then one occasion, a thought that still made him smile and chuckle, but this was entirely different.

Dmitri looked at him with a curious brow and smiled when he saw his slight nervousness and knew what he wanted to speak to them about and smiled, "Of course, Antony, I'll get them for you right away. Why don't you follow me and you can wait for them in the library?"

Antony nodded and followed quietly, taking a seat on the couch and then moving to the chair when he realized they would probably want to sit there, together and Dmitri couldn't help the chuckle as he left the room.

"Your Majesty," Dmitri smiled and eyes flashing from her to Lena and back, "Someone is here who'd like a private audience with you… the both of you." He nodded at Jack with the same smile.

"Who?" Irina asked with a curious smile seeing Dmitri's even as she stood.

"Mr. Antony Mazzio." Dmitri smiled and shifted his gaze to Lena who looked wide-eyed in surprise and her smile only grew hearing his name and that he was here.

Jack and Irina shared a look of smiling question, both wondering if this was what they thought this was and linked fingers, dropping a kiss each to Lena's head as she turned to watch them go.

"What's he doing?" Jaxx asked Lena with a smile wondering if she knew what Antony was up to.

"I don't know." Lena smiled shaking her head and reaching for her juice.

"I bet I know…" Nicholas smiled across the table at his sister, "He's probably asking if it's alright with them that he takes you out on a date."

The entire table erupted immediately with an, '_awe_' and smiles that had Lena blushing madly and unable to tear the smile from her own face.

"Hello," Irina smiled entering the library with Jack closing the door behind them and Antony bolted up from the chair to greet them with smiles. "How are you this morning, Antony?" She asked kissing both his cheeks and taking a seat in front of him.

"Wonderful." Antony answered wearing the same smile they saw on their daughter's face. "Thank you for letting me take you away from your breakfast for just a moment but I couldn't wait any longer and I want to do this right," He paused in his ramble to take a deep breath and calm himself smiling, "So I came over as soon as I could." He blew out the breath exaggeratedly and took another leaning forward with elbows resting on knees, "I care about Lena a great deal… I always have…" He smiled, "And over the last year or so I've come to care for her a great deal more in a different way…" He forced himself to keep looking at them though he was desperate to turn away, wanting to show them how very much this was his truth, "We have both had communication problems in trying to work it out and I think that we finally have," His smile grew seeing they were still looking at him with soft smiles and sat up straight, "Would you please allow me the great honor of courting your daughter Lena?" He asked quietly.

Jack and Irina couldn't help but smile at how formal he was being trying so hard to get it right and wanting them to see he meant what he said and was sincere; already holding Antony in high-esteem and now even higher that he'd come to them and asked permission when he really didn't have to.

Irina turned her head to smile at Jack, already knowing they'd say 'yes' and in their silent communication told him to go ahead and give the young man their answer.

"Yes, Antony you may have the honor." Jack answered softly hating to agree under any circumstance in letting go of his little girl even more but he could think of no one better for Lena and he knew, that Antony was sincere in his regards to caring about Lena and would look out for her as he always had. He gave Antony a small smile and reached out to shake his hand when they stood.

"Thank you, both, so much." Antony smiled widely with excitement feeling a massive relief wash through him, and then sobering, "I promise to always respect her and do what's right by her."

"I know you will. You always have." Irina smiled cupping his face with unshed tears in her eyes and then kissed both of his cheeks again, pulling him in for a hug, "I'm so happy that the two of you worked out your communication problem. I know how difficult and heartbreaking that can be." She added quietly, holding him a bit longer with a smile hoping now that her daughters' days of heartbreak were behind her after so much sadness this last year. "Lena told us earlier that you'd asked her out for tonight. She hasn't stopped smiling all morning." She laughed softly stepping back and watching Antony's face light into another big grin with a bit of shyness.

"I haven't either. Mama clasped my face this morning before I left and asked if I'd started taking drugs." Antony answered quietly laughing with them at his mother's reaction to his mood change. "She said she hadn't seen me smiling that much in my life. She was worried because I'd been so miserable the last year that I resorted to drugs." He shook his head, "When I told her I was smiling because I'd finally asked Lena out and she'd said, yes," He started laughing softly, "She threw her arms around me with a big smile making me dance with her around the kitchen."

Jack and Irina couldn't help but laugh with him thinking about Lana and being able to envision her doing just what he described.

"I can imagine her excitement." Irina smiled with a soft laugh, "Would you like some breakfast? We're just finishing but I can make you something if you're hungry?"

"No thank you, Your Majesty," Antony smiled with his own laugh, "Mama made me a big 'celebratory breakfast' before I came over. She's funny like that." He laughed again with them. "I would however, like to see Lena and everyone else to say 'good morning' before I have to go. I have a lot to do today." He smiled thinking about what he already had planned for tonight… having envisioned his 'first date' with Lena for quite some time.

When they entered the dining room everyone was wearing a raging smile to see him and said their good mornings, watching Lena and Antony intently as the last to greet each other and the females of the group all internally 'awed' when he lifted Lena's hand and gently kissed it with his eyes locked to hers' and then kissed her cheek almost whispering 'good morning.' They were already terribly romantic and way too cute.

* * *

**_*I Love You (BT Remix)*_**

"So how is it that the two of you finally broke through the barrier of your communication problem?" Irina asked spinning around with sweaty ponytail flying and cracked Lena's staff loudly as the two sparred later in the morning.

"Isabella told me at the club," Lena jumped to avoid the bo her mother swung back and swung her own down trying to knock the legs out from under Irina and missed with Irina rolling over it and away, recovering her attack and landing a good blow to the backs of Lena's thighs making her hiss and throw a dirty look her mother's way, knowing she was pulling her punches and hits but it still hurt like a bitch, "That Antony had broken up with Sonya."

They'd always talked while sparring, having been told many times that in most situations whether in fighting or life, your attention is always split and you need to be able to concentrate fully on both and this was good practice. Once a year they would both go spend weeks with the Samurai monks in Japan at a monastery in the mountains training the mind, body and spirit and had so since Lena was five. Lena was amazing in her skill but still unable to really beat her mother knowing that Irina was always holding back as not to hurt her and it drove Lena crazy that her mother would never '_really_' engage.

"And I was so frustrated he didn't tell me… couldn't tell me because of our situation. Like every time, I was close to him or he, I, we couldn't say what we really wanted to." Lena huffed when she flipped backwards off her bow to get away from her mother's assault, "We ran into each other in the hall by the bathroom." She gritted her teeth and charged forward with a loud cracking of blows as she drove her mother back, "Neither of us wanted to move because we were afraid to even touch each other. There was so much left unsaid between us and I knew we'd end up walking away from each other as we always did…"

"So what did you do?" Irina asked landing another thumping blow to Lena's arm earning another frustrated look to which she smiled, seeing her daughter's focus was all over the place this morning with the change of events with Antony but understanding why, having been in a similar position with Jack. "Don't look at me like that!" She laughed blowing a sweaty curl from her face, "You're the one who's lost her focus… I told you long ago that love was the one thing that really had the power to make you forget everything else around you." She knew from her own experience, trying and training all those years without Jack to keep her mind focused when her love and loss of him kept attempting to drown her.

"How can I forget when you keep thumping me?" Lena spun and concentrated for the moment on solely making bodily contact with her mother at least once and went crazy with a furious attack of ricocheting loud cracks as the two battled.

"I asked you a question and I'm still waiting for the answer." Irina countered with a smile seeing the change in Lena's eyes knowing her daughter was now thinking only of attacking her instead of dividing her focus like she was supposed to be doing knowing at this point she couldn't do both.

"I'll give you the answer as soon as I-" Lena launched forward off her bo planted on the mat and around behind her mother who was already trying to evade the hit spinning towards and away from her and Lena nailed her above the hip in her stomach instead of the ass like she was going for. She smirked wildly at Irina having landed a blow finally knocking her mother back, "Kick your ass."

"But you missed." Irina laughed backing up with the two circling each other again and spinning her bow, "You didn't kick my ass."

"Oh, I will!" Lena laughed back with a feral grin spinning her own bow.

"Story please… you left me hanging with the two of you frozen in the hallway." Irina laughed asking the question right before she moved forward on attack knowing her daughter's mind would be divided in focus in that moment, "You have to be aware that while you're caught up in one mode of thinking and feeling," She threw her with arm extended as she turned and cracked Lena across her ass this time, "Life is continuing on around you. You have to find a way to balance both and not let it consume you."

"Always the professor, aren't you?" Lena smiled wheeling around and escaping the attack to crack her bo across her mother's when Irina foresaw the blow from behind.

Lena knew that there were lessons on being the Tsar mixed in with all this but right now all she wanted to do was kick her mother's butt in such a good mood today though never having done so before, and knew the chances unlikely, she'd still try. "So we were frozen in place and Nadia's voice was ringing through my head of 'keep trying' and so," She huffed and grunted taking a hit and landing one as well, "I decided it was now or never and grabbed his hand," She jumped and rolled, "Drug him into the bathroom and locked the door, pinning him against it."

Irina's eyes widened with a surprised grin at hearing of Lena's forcefulness thinking it sounded like something she would have done and recalling flashbacks to what Antony had said on the balcony about not wanting to 'make love' to Lena in a bathroom for her first time, and Irina's heart really started to pound over what she was going to hear next.

"I see that look in your eyes," Lena smiled with an exhausted laugh working up quite the sweat in this round of sparring, "No, I didn't take him in there with the intention of sleeping with him."

"I didn't say a thing to suggest you did!" Irina smiled with her own deniable laugh, "Not that you would be doing any 'sleeping' anyway…" She laughed more seeing Lena's look, "I was merely curious about the position and location you were both in." She chuckled looking at Lena who was smiling and fingering her own sweaty loose strands of hair behind her ear, "It must have been very… heated." Irina chose her words carefully trying not to laugh, assured in the fact that, nothing in fact, had happened in the bathroom for which she was thoroughly glad. She wanted more for Lena, like Antony, then a bathroom in the heat of the moment for her first time.

"Yes, it was very... _heated_." Lena laughed springing upwards grabbing hold of one of the ropes hanging from the ceiling and swung around on it away from the wall where her mother had her pinned, "The position was merely so I could press my chest to his… since our mouths couldn't seem to say what we wanted I thought I'd let our hearts try." She smiled drifting off with the memory and lost her focus getting hit across the ass again by her mother.

"_Fo-cus_." Irina responded with a singsong tone and then laughed seeing Lena's fiery eyes and smile come at her again. "And what did your hearts say?" She asked quietly loving to hear this story and proud of her daughter.

"Everything we wanted but could never say." Lena smiled in response, "We just sort of stood there for a moment… and my eyes went to his lips and the next thing I know," She wildly crossed her arms back and forth fending off the attack from her mother, "He was kissing me and everything seemed fuzzy and clear all at once… like nothing I'd ever felt before." She answered in breathless awe.

Irina was smiling with tears in her eyes knowing exactly how that felt having had the same feeling when Jack kissed her that first night. She slowed her attack and circled her daughter again listening and waiting at the same time to strike. "It was the same way when your father first kissed me… like I was drowning and losing air but saw the shiny object that I just had to have on the bottom of the ocean floor and kept going for it."

"Yes!" Lena smiled nodding that her mother had put it into the perfect terms. "Things got pretty hot pretty quickly after being so long denied and we couldn't seem to get enough of each other in that moment," She threw her bow aside and watched as her mother did the same, finishing this out in hand to hand combat as they always did, ending usually with Lena getting Irina on her back at least once and then being pinned under her in some amazing move her mother pulled from nowhere.

"I know that feeling, too…" Irina snickered waving up and down suggestively pointing to Lena herself, "_Ala_ your conception." She laughed harder when Lena smiled, shaking her head picturing that from the film and realizing, yes, it was the same, '_too long been denied and couldn't get enough of the other_.'

"True." Lena laughed again before timing her kick and punch to grab hold of her mother for the first time with the skills of a precision trained ninja. "But Antony stopped and I thought he was rejecting me again and so I left." She spoke softly with a grunt locking her leg around her mother who was over powering her and pulled back hard, upending them both bringing them to the mat where she quickly took over in advantage.

"So that's why he came crawling over the balcony?" Irina smiled and laughed softly catching Lena's surprised eyes and used that momentary lapse in focus to flip them and pin Lena down with knees on her arms and sitting on her chest.

"You saw him? Us?" Lena asked in a breathless grunt trying to get her mother off of her and taking note she didn't seem angry at all to find out Antony was 'almost' sneaking into her room.

"Yes. Your father and I both did. His loud whispers of your name caught our ears through our open doors." Irina laughed taking a breath and wiping her brow secure in the fact she had Lena essentially held in place, "He was quite cute trying to get over the balcony railing."

"Daddy wasn't mad?" Lena couldn't believe what she was hearing; that her father saw him sneaking onto the balcony and did nothing and then later said nothing.

"No. We weren't trying to spy on you its just that… You both remind us so much of ourselves at the same age… it was hard not to get swept up in fascination watching the two of you interact after so long of expecting it." Irina reached down and wiped a sweat soaked strand of hair from Lena's cheek with a smile where she still sat on her perch on Lena's torso, "I am happy to hear that you didn't keep going… and that he respects you and cares for you enough not to want your first time to be in the bathroom of a club."

Lena was slightly dumbfounded, "So everyone has been expecting Antony and I to get together at some point then?" She asked slowing her struggle to give the illusion of defeat knowing this time it was her mother who lost focus and made a misstep. She was now waiting for the time to strike.

"I think so, yes." Irina smiled, "There has always been something special about the two of you together… a certain spark. I'm happy that you finally figured it out… and let your hearts do the talking to break the barrier…and also happy that your heart and mind found a way to focus together, as to not let your heart get carried away and keep going in the bathroom." She laughed softly with yet another point about the balance of things and needing divided focus as to not be consumed with one thing.

Lena used the moment and swung her legs up and back, crossing them over the front of her mother's chest and neck and rapidly forcing her back and to the floor, flipping her torso up with the weight changed and instead landing on her mothers torso where she smiled down at Irina sitting just over her mother's hips and then crashed against her chest with her own tired body. Her ear pressed over her mother's sweaty skin to hear the pounding of her heart. "You lost your focus, Mama." Lena smiled with heaving breath; "You sat too far back on my torso where my legs could get you." She laughed softly and heard her mother laughing with her.

"And here I thought you'd surrendered." Irina laughed with a smile running her fingers over Lena's ponytail with her head on her chest, letting their body's come down from the exertion of the battle.

"I never surrender, Mama. I just lie around and wait for the perfect moment to strike. You taught me that." Lena smiled speaking quietly unable to see her mother's teary-eyed smile of pride, "You also taught me about the complicated language of dialogue spoken between two hearts… thank you for letting Antony and I take the time to figure it out. I know he asked your permission to date me this morning… thank you for saying' 'yes."

"My heart is talking to yours now… what is it saying?" Irina asked with a silent tear rolling into her already sweaty hair with a smile.

Lena was quite a moment listening and feeling and smiled, "You're welcome but you don't really need to thank me… because you love me to the moon and back, more than the stars in Heaven and the grains of sand on Earth… forever and always… and you want the best for me… and anything to make me happy… and you'll always be there to love me and support me in anyway you can." She smiled and then laughed, "Oh… and you're proud of me for not only taking the chance with Antony to let our hearts do the talking… but also for seeing and seizing the opportunity to knock you on your ass."

Lena's laughter rolled around the room echoing off the glass windowed walls when Irina wrapped all her limbs around her like an anaconda and started tickling her to death.

"Okay stop! Please! Mama! I'm not five anymore! You're not supposed to tickle me! This is cheating!" Lena squealed with a mass attack of laughter wiggling wildly trying to get away.

"Do you surrender?" Irina asked with her own raging smile and laughter.

"_Never!"_ Lena screamed and laughed with a jerk when Irina attacked again. "Okay, okay only to you though! Please stop or I'll soak you in more then my sweat!" She threatened and Irina pushed her off with an 'ewww!'

"You've been hanging around with your Godfather Eric too much if you use that tactic." Irina laughed pulling her up.

"Well you're the one who made him pee on himself and also the one who told me that all is fair in love and war!" Lena laughed grabbing her towel and throwing another at her mother along with a bottle of Gatorade.

"Yes, I did." Irina laughed with shoulders shaking and her head doing the same before pulling Lena slowly against her in a tight hug with their own chests pressed together, "I'm glad that our hearts are able to speak so clearly to each other… yours heard everything mine was saying." She smiled thinking about Lena's answer with new tears forming in her eyes and cupped her daughter's face, kissing her lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Lena smiled and kissed her back before linking arms and heading off to take showers, "Even the part about you being proud of me for knocking you on your ass? I got that part right too?" She asked as they were walking out and Irina started laughing.

"Yes, even that part, too." Irina kissed her head.

"We should really think about getting better ladders if Daddy and Antony insist upon climbing over our balcony. They're going to get hurt one of these days being so romantic." Lena smiled at her mother who was slightly surprised this time.

"You saw your father climbing over the balcony last summer?" Irina asked with a smile and a laugh as they ascended the enormous marble staircase.

"_Romeo! Romeo! Where for art thou Romeo?"_ Lena recanted dramatically with hand over her chest smiling and teasing.

"Okay, you little smartass." Irina laughed wrapping her arm around Lena in a teasing headlock.

"Just like you!" Lena countered with a laugh and kissed Irina's cheek when she let her go. "We all thought it was terribly romantic."

"We?" Irina asked with a smile.

"Everyone saw you, Mama. _Everyone_." Lena smiled widely with pride, "No one said anything because we all sort of felt like we were spying but we couldn't resist watching the two of you either… You held your audience captive and we couldn't move until he'd said his final 'goodnight.' It was really beautiful… more so because the two of you had no idea anyone else was watching and it was just the two of you in your own little world… speaking your love for each other and no one else… I love that." She added softly with a raging smile, in love with the way her parents were in love, as Sydney always said.

Irina was completely moved to hear the love, pride and adoration from her daughter for the love she shared with her father.

"I'm glad… because I do love your father… oh so much, do I love your father." She smiled with a sigh thinking about Jack. "It wasn't easy for us either with our hearts communication at times. But eventually we found a way to let go and just let them speak to each other after tearing down the sound proof walls around them. The struggle to get there was worth it."

"And you got the shiny object you were reaching for." Lena smiled remembering her mother's previous analogy. "I'm going to keep swimming towards mine… oxygen be damned." She laughed softly with her mother.

"You'll get there." Irina smiled kissing her forehead just before she split off to her own room. "If you know what you want, go after it with everything you have and don't stop until you get there and once you have it… don't let go."

"I won't." Lena smiled pausing by her own door. "Thank you, Mama. I love being able to talk to you about anything and everything."

"So do I, and you're welcome. Thank you… for sharing." Irina smiled feeling new tears and nodded at her softly before they both disappeared.

* * *

Antony and Lena had been dating about a month by July and attending the Air Force Academy daily. Antony lived in a dorm, like everyone else attending while Lena remained at the palace residence. It was best and easiest with her at home for safety concerns as she was the Tsarevicha and Lena didn't mind the arrangement.

On their last date with a parting kiss she'd held his gaze before pulling away and whispered, "I'm ready… when you are. I'm ready." She couldn't wait anymore with the searing heat between them, getting frustrated every time they got carried away with kissing and ended up having to pull away from each other. She didn't want to pull anymore… she wanted him and she knew he wanted her.

Antony's eyes had widened, swallowing hard wanting more then anything now then to be with her but not wanting to rush into anything she wasn't ready for. "Are you sure?" He asked with a choked voice cupping her face gently with one hand and threading her hair over her ear.

"Yes." Lena smiled at him softly, "I want to be with you… I've wanted to for a long time."

So when Antony appeared on her balcony with a smile the next night, her heart began to pound in her chest when he told her to get dressed and come with him. She held his hand after climbing over the balcony railing with her eyes on her parents doors, making certain they were not watching and slipped into the darkness with him.

"Where are we going?" She whispered as they crossed the grounds dodging in and out of the shadows of tree cover under the bright full moon.

"You'll see." He answered with a smile kissing her even as they kept walking. "It's a surprise."

He led her by the hand deep into the massive estate through the droves of colored wild flowers that smelled heavenly and to the ruins of the old chapel that had been mostly destroyed during the Nazi occupation of Alexander.

When they rounded the wall of broken bricks she gasped to see that he had lit hundreds of white candles and placed them all around the enclosure with no roof and moonlight shining brightly down on the space. He'd pushed back the old wooden pews and where the altar once stood and had long since been gone; he had made a nest of pillows and blankets. The entire area was covered in red and white rose petals.

"It's so beautiful." Lena smiled speaking in a whisper wondering how in the world he'd been able to pull all this off. Guards rarely if ever patrolled this far into the grounds and she knew that when they did, it was always during the day so they were safe from being caught.

He smiled happily and tugged on her hand walking with her slowly down the center of the pushed back pews and reached over pressing play on a small portable stereo, and picking up a single rose handing it to her with a kiss and smile.

**_*I Only Have Eyes For You*_**

"May I have this dance?" He bowed slightly holding out his hand with a soft laugh and eyes locked to hers. The two were already accomplished dancers with as many balls as they'd been to together in their life and their bodies easily melded together with her hand in his.

"You're so beautiful… especially in the moonlight. It does something to your eyes I've never seen in anyone else." He smiled at her in awe as they swayed together softly amongst the ruins and under the blue hew of the moon. "I'll never get tired of looking into your eyes."

"Nor I into yours." She smiled softly in turn, "I feel like I'm drowning every time you look at me… I can hardly breathe." She added in a whisper with hand reaching up pulling his head towards her softly and kissing him. Their tongues brushing with the briefest of contact and sending a bolt of electricity through them both; his tongue sweeping into her mouth claiming it softly and the heat between them escalated quickly.

"We can slow down if you want to? We have all night… we don't have to rush." He rested his forehead with hers with one hand cupping her face and chests pressed together with pounding hearts.

"I can't wait anymore." Lena kissed him again softly with hand sweeping over his chest and down his sides grasping at the hem of his shirt and pulling it up, stepping back with eyes locked and pulling it all the way off; her eyes drinking in the sight of his chiseled form in the moonlight and smiling softly.

Antony smiled and stepped forward until they were almost touching, his eyes still locked with hers and turning her gently so her back was facing him. He brushed her long dark hair off to one shoulder kissing the bare one gently with hot branding tongue and making her gasp softly while his fingers slowly untied her halter top summer dress from around her neck.

With the straps free the clingy fabric fell slightly down her chest and back and his fingers pushed it slowly down to her hips with knuckles brushing softly down her sides. His mouth began a trail of kisses down her back as he slowly paid worship to every inch of soft flesh exposed to him sliding the dress over her hips and revealing her perfect naked ass for the first time; his eyes widening in slight surprise to see she wasn't wearing any underwear underneath her dress.

His hands were almost trembling as they drug the fabric slowly down her legs not needing to as it would have fallen free to pool at her feet but wanting to touch as much of her as he could; having wanted to touch her for so long. She stepped out of it softly and kicked off her sandals at the same, her heart pounding at being completely naked with a man for the first time in her life and preparing herself to turn around and face him.

Antony swallowed hard taking a large step back from her and watching her head turn to look at him over her shoulder before slowly turning her body to follow and exposing the front view for the first time inch by inch.

His heart was about to explode looking at her for the first time with view unrestricted by bathing suit or any other type of clothing, exposing herself to him completely for the first time; mind, heart, body and soul and he tried to speak but couldn't find his voice; gone along with his breath. "My God…" He finally managed in a hushed whisper with tears forming in his eyes having waited so long for this moment. She was absolutely perfect. "You're the most beautiful thing… I've ever seen." His chest was heaving with ragged breath and eyes locked to hers as he slowly slid his fingers in the waistband of his shorts and pushed them down his legs slowly keeping his eyes with hers and sweeping over her body again when he pushed his boxer briefs down as well, stepping out of them.

**_*A Thousand Years- Part 2*_**

Now it was Lena's turn for her hungry gaze to sweep over his own nearly perfect form and swallow hard at seeing his very long arousal for her already and growing with every passing second. She took a step forward as did he with eyes continuing to discover the secrets of the other hidden for so long and then another step.

Both of their hearts were pounding in the chests and Lena's larger one was visibly bouncing beneath her flesh and sternum. Her fingers tips reached up to graze lightly over his pecks and placed a kiss over his own pounding heart with eyes slowly coming up to meet his and cup his face.

"You… are the most beautiful thing I've… ever seen." She whispered in the same quiet tone with voice thick with emotion. With one last step forward they were touching completely, naked form to naked form for the first time ever and both gasped softly at the contact. His member grew harder when pressed against the soft flesh of her abdomen, just above her radiating heat and her chest pressed against his with hearts, once again speaking to each other.

She tilted her head slightly and leaned in with hands going around his neck and head pulling him closer and dragging her tongue slowly across his bottom lip softly before plunging it in softly to meet with his sweltering one and moaning softly when she felt him press into her further and his hands roam up the curves of her body and back down again.

His fingers grasping into her flesh just above her hips and lifting her against him and Lena took her cue and lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist with arms around his neck and still kissing him he slowly walked forward the few paces until his feet reached the blankets and carefully went down on his knees amongst the pillows and candlelight and laid her back softly with eyes meeting again when the kiss was broken.

Her legs released from around his waist and lay open around him kneeling between them, his gaze smiling softly at her face and leaned over, kissing her again softly and deeply before moving down her neck and sucking lightly with swirling tongue over her throbbing pulse point before dragging his tongue over her collarbones kissing each with gentle kisses working his way down her chest.

Lena's heart felt like it was about to explode as she watched him with heaving chest and swallowed hard looking up at the moon above and closed her eyes with a gasp feeling his mouth close over her breast for the first time while his other hand kneaded the other breast and thumb swirled the nipple, teasing it.

Antony swirled hot tongue around the little brown bud bringing it to a rigid peak and grazing over it lightly with his teeth making her inhale sharply with a wave of pleasure and a shiver. He paid the same attention to the other before sliding back slowly on his knees and kissing down the center of her belly, his tongue swooping into her belly button while hands grazed down her sides. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly looking up at her and wanting to make sure she was.

"Yes." Lena answered in a breathless whisper again and soft nod and gasp again when his hands slid down the sensitive skin of her inner thighs.

"We'll go slow… a step at a time and work our way up," He spoke just as quietly with a soft smile, "And if you're not okay at any time or change your mind… let me know and its okay."

Lena nodded, "I'm sure." She smiled, "I trust you…"

He smiled back and dipped his head again, kissing up the length of her thigh and getting close to her heat but diverting up and over her hipbone working his way back up. Wanting to cherish everything about her untouched temple and pay it the respect it deserved by worshipping it in everyway.

She'd always been the girl of his fantasies and now she was his; she was giving herself to him, the most coveted girl in the world… wanted him and he would do everything in his power to be worthy of such an honor. He knew that most guys would go straight for the 'kill' wanting to be inside a girl's heat immediately with the urge to thrust so strong but Lena wasn't just a girl and even though he'd had lots of sex before this; this was his first time of 'making love' to someone and wanted to give her as much pleasure as he could and make it memorable and worth the wait.

He leaned over her with one hand and arm planted beside her shoulder, kissing her mouth once more and probing it suggestively with his tongue while his other hand slid slowly between her legs and fingers dipped into her fold, already wet and waiting.

When she felt his thumb flick over her clit for the first time she inhaled sharply against his lips and moaned softly when he began to tease it in slow ecstasy rubbing it in circles and pressing hard and then soft, pinching it and sliding his fingers slick with her scent over the throbbing little bundle of nerves until she was panting softly and mewing.

His mouth covered hers again and laved her tongue with his while sliding the first finger inside her melting heat and then a second into her impossibly tight core making them both gasp and groan. His fingers wiggling softly back and forth inside her, feeling her muscles pulsating against them at never having been disturbed before and his thumb continuing to work against her clit.

He shifted his palm so he could thrust his fingers inside more deeply and used the heel of his hand to continually stimulate her little pleasure detonator on the outside while the tips of his fingers found the ridges of electrified nerve endings inside her core and began stroking them every thrust of his fingers.

"Oh God…" Lena gasped feeling her body losing control to his touch and panted in short breaths starting to tremble and involuntarily thrust against his hand. He moved his mouth down to cherish her perfect breast again knowing she was close to her first orgasm and teased her over the edge until she fell with a series of gasps and pants and trembled beneath him coating his fingers and hand with more of her ecstasy and kissed her mouth again with a smile continuing to use his fingers to thrust against her extending her first wave of pleasure while his mouth made the trek down her body wanting to taste her in every way.

His eyes were on her already flushed face when his tongue slid up slowly through her folds laving at her juices and then came in contact with her pulsating clit and she gasped loudly, "Antony…" and held her breath, fisting the blanket they were lying on tightly with both hands and having her breath stolen in a continuous stream of sharp inhales staring up at the stars while he sucked and nip, teasing her back on to the edge again with a loss of control over her body she'd never experienced before.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god," She chanted with quivering legs spread open for him when he plunged his tongue to taste her deeply and pulled out only to be replaced by a sharp thrust of his two fingers with mouth continuing to worship her clit throbbing so hard he could feel her heart beat against his tongue.

With the combined stroking of both of her raging bundles of nerves it wasn't long before she was running full speed at the cliff, trembling and about to explode with more emotions and feelings then she'd ever felt in her life, and panting hard in panic with the loss of control chanting in a crescendo, "Antony, Antony, Antony, Antony, Antony!" Until she screamed with "Ahh" at flying over the edge and seeing stars she didn't know existed with body shaking violently in the most explosive orgasm she'd ever had that consumed her whole body and all senses with muscles clenching and quivering uncontrollably.

With her pupils still blown and staring up with the mixing of stars in front of her eyes Antony crawled back up her body with a smile and kissed her, giving her the first taste ever of her own sweet scent that tasted like honey and making them both moan with electric heat between them. His weight laying fully on hers' propped up on elbows with her legs wrapping around to drape over the backs of his thighs while her dripping center painted his own throbbing heat and stomach, aching to be inside her and so close with the slick tease.

Lena rolled them wanting to be on top for a while with limbs still quaking and gasped softly when she felt his rock hard shaft brush against her clit sliding back on his body. She slid back to straddle his thighs and Antony couldn't help but groan watching her when she threw her long hair over one shoulder and grasped his member for the first time with both hands, pulling it away from where it had flattened itself against the slick heat she'd left behind on his abdomen.

Her fingers gliding gently over the smooth skin taut with rushing blood and feeling the ridges his bulging veins made, tracing them lighting and then brushing her thumb over his head and rim before stroking it a couple of times making Antony moan and thrust slightly against her palm feeling her core dripping its sweet honey onto his thighs.

His eyes widened and hands fisted when she slid back further and dipped her head taking him inside her wet mouth with tongue wrapping around his head and rim like a warm blanket as she slowly slid him in further sucking and then pulling away leaving him chanting her name in turn with gasps and ahs as he fought for control with the sight, scent and feel of her invading his every sense.

Her tongue was a wicked tease and he slammed his eyes shut and jerked when she opened her throat and let him slid back further, her lips closing around him tightly and hand moving to cup his balls and caress them while pulling away slowly causing him to tremble and groan loudly. He knew that he was going to lose it in her mouth if he didn't take over again so close to the edge already and sat up with fingers going under her chin to lift her face off of him and to his with pounding chest and panting breath.

"If you keep that up it will be over rather quickly." He smiled and laughed softly, tangling his hands into her hair and kissing her deeply with roaming hands.

"I want to feel you inside me." She whispered with ragged breath and her saturated crux hovering near his raging shaft that she slowly grasped and stroked gently making him moan with her words and her touch and he tugged at her lip with his teeth before kissing her again.

His hand reached over searching under one of the outer pillows and found the little package he was looking for. Without his mouth leaving hers he ripped it open and removed the condom tossing the packet aside and his hand closed over hers slowly stroking him and moved with her efforts twice before gently pulling them away and sliding the condom on. His legs moved under her to sweep back under his own body so he was kneeling with her straddling his thighs and his wrapped heat between them.

"Are you sure, Lena?" Antony asked one more time with a thick voice stilling his roaming hands for a moment to capture her dark eyes with his.

"Yes, please make love to me, Antony." She stare back with tears already in her eyes and tilted her face to kiss him again with arms going around his shoulders feeling his hands slide down to her hips and grasp her again.

He slid her light body up his own and grasped his cock with one hand, aligning it with her heat and holding her gaze stilling their kiss and swallowing hard when he let her sink slowly onto him ever so carefully allowing her impossibly tight core to stretch slowly with the new invader.

Lena's breath was stolen the moment his tip first entered her heat and her fingers and nails dug into his shoulders with a long slow gasp and hiss of pain and pleasure to feel him slowly filling her up. He was groaning and fighting the urge to thrust hard feeling such a tight grip around his burgeoning cock that was like a tight glove continually grasping at him with her muscles quivering against him and clenched his teeth hard. He pulled her hard against him, stopping her descent onto him fully knowing this was already new and painful and not wanting to overload her with his length filling her completely.

She knew what he was doing when he stilled and gasp pushing down against him trying to hold her up, "I want all of you, Antony. Completely." She gasped sharply feeling the added inches rapidly fill her up with her fast trust onto him. They both stilled with chests pressed together and pounding hearts echoing when he'd filled her completely in a perfect fit allowing her to adjust to the added length and then kissed her deeply with tears in both their eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked her again wiping at her tears softly with the backs of his fingers, "Are you in pain?"

She shook her head _no_ choking on emotion she never knew existed and kissed him again before answering, "I'm okay." She whispered and then slowly pulled herself off of him a little and thrust back down just as slowly getting used to the movement and making them both gasp and moan with the tight friction.

His hands holding her tightly to him he turned them and lay her back down on the pillows with bodies still connected and pulled out slowly bracing himself with extended arms with head hanging and both of them watching the point where their bodies were now connected and seeing his slippery length slowly pulling out of her heat until just his head remained inside and then slowly pushed back in.

The sight and feel of bodies connecting with each other had them both mewing internally and then gasping when he'd filled her completely again. Her shaking hand slid over her sweat slicked skin and to her lower abdomen where he was buried deeply inside her beneath and pressed down feeling her muscles spasm when he slowly pulled out again and then thrust back in and her tears fell faster at feeling him moving inside her.

She pulled her legs back further opening herself up wider and allowing him to go deeper pressing against her cervix almost painfully and making them both groan when he pulled out faster and plunged back in faster picking up his speed now that she was stretching to his width and stole her breath with one rapid thrust so eagerly to pump his hips with wild abandon about to explode from being held in so long.

"God Lena… you feel… amazing," He ground out with panted breath at the unbelievable feeling of being inside her unbelievably constricted core that was clenching him with wild abandon.

One after another his thrusts came swiftly and quickly stealing her breath and making her' pant and undistinguishable sounds come from the back of her throat until he was pounding into her with gusto and she moved her hands to his back, gripping tightly to hang on feeling herself about to implode again with his every thrust and retreat.

"Oh my- God!" He groaned about to explode and trying to hold it back as long as possibly while working towards it as quickly as he could in a battle of prolonged pleasure and the awaiting euphoria of nirvana at its end. He felt her muscles rippling tightly around him and her own increased pants and sounds and then sharp scream of his name as she pulsated over into oblivion sinking her claws into his back with body shaking violently beneath his own and watching the stars exploding in her eyes as she cum he leaned down closing his mouth over hers' with a hard thrust and erupted inside her with a tidal wave force being the girl of his dreams and imagining this moment hundreds of times and finally having it here, he screamed into her mouth and eyes slammed shut with body rocking. He continued to drive into her with burning adrenaline firing through him and their tears mixed on Lena's cheeks as they fell from his eyes.

Antony dropped down onto his elbows pressing his full weight into her, spent and collapsed over her, burying his face into her hair and neck pressing a soft kiss to the spot below her ear while they both came down. He rolled them rapidly so she was lying on him with bodies still connected and Lena's face buried against his neck now.

Her hand came up to cup the far cheek as tears rolled over the bridge of her nose and her fingers moved to twirl the curls at the base of his head. His arms were around her body holding her to him tightly and she wiggled slightly forcing herself up on her elbows to look down at him with hair curtaining them on one side. Her eyes held fast to his when she smiled and leaned down to kiss him softly with eyes open. "Thank you…" She whispered against his lips with fingers brushing through his curly blonde hair. "That was amazing… you're amazing…" Her smile widened and Antony's smiled did too with his hands tracing up and down the length of her spine. "Everything is amazing…" Her tears welled and fell again and she laughed softly brushing it from his cheek.

"You're amazing." He reached up cupping her face and brushing her tears with his thumb, "I want to make love to you everyday for the rest of me life…" His stare was intent opening his soul and exposing it to her, letting her see he meant it, "There are so many feelings swirling around inside me right now for you… I think I'm going to explode." He laughed softly when she smiled, "I've never wanted somebody… or needed somebody …as much as I do you. You make me laugh… you make me cry." His voice dipped and laughed softly again with her when she wiped at his own falling tears, "You scare me and you excite me… you're the most amazing person I've ever met in my life… when I'm not with you… my heart aches. It misses you so much…" He leaned up kissing her softly, "I want to give you the world and the moon and the stars… I want to give you everything… I live for your smile." He whispered softly feeling new tears forming seeing it now on her teary face and remembering the pain inside him when she was gone and he didn't see it everyday.

**_*The First Kiss*_**

Antony swallowed hard cupping her face and staring up into her beautiful silvery dark eyes, "I love you." He whispered quietly with choking emotion in his voice, "I love you, Lena." He could feel her heart pick up speed and begin to pound against his own immediately hearing the words and more tears flooded her eyes.

"I love you, too…" She answered in a whisper afraid her voice would give out, "I loved you before I even knew what love really was." She sniffled thinking about him when they were little and smiled, "My savior… My Antony." She held back a small sob with a smiled staking claim to him as she always had when they were younger but intent now, as not only best friends but so much more.

Antony's eyes filled with tears again thinking about the first moment he saw her being pulled into the car and how his heart skipped a beat at looking at the beautiful feisty girl with tears in her eyes and then now, to the same gorgeous creature above him now with the same sparkling eyes only now instead of fear they were filled with love… for him. She'd claimed him for her own and he wanted no other.

"Do you remember the night your parents brought me home from the hospital with them? And your mother was carrying Nadia… and your father was carrying me… and we stepped through the door and I'll never forget… seeing you run towards us. Your face was all bruised and you had bandages over it and your lip was split but you looked up at me and smiled for the first time," He thumbed away her new falling tears with his teary smile, "I stopped breathing in that moment and I remember thinking I had never seen something more beautiful in my life then your smile… and I was so happy you were okay. I'll never forget that as long as I live… that image of you smiling at me for the first time is seared into my memory and heart forever… My Wild Child." He smiled and laughed softly thinking back to the origins of that nickname years ago when they were little and getting into mischief with her as the leader and him willing to follow her wherever she'd go.

Lena leaned down instantly kissing him overcome with so many emotions with hearts pressed together and bodies still connected she'd never felt more alive or more complete in all her life.

Antony couldn't stop smiling finishing getting dressed watching her do the same and stepped forward to help re-tie the halter-top strings. "Let me help you." He smiled stepping behind her and brushing her hair off to the side again kissing the nap of her neck and then crux of her shoulder before letting her hair fall again and turning her in his arms, "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life…" He smiled speaking softly and staring at her, "And I want to look into your eyes forever… until the day I die, I want to drown in their dark depths." He smiled fingering her hair behind her ear. "My God, do I love you."

"As I love you… it feels so good to be able to say that… to tell you… to show you." She smiled leaning up to kiss him with a smile that could not be torn from her face in sated bliss.

Their kiss picked up to heated proportions again with hungry bodies not getting enough of the other's substance now that they'd had a taste and wanting more and both stopped with foreheads lulling against each others and a soft breathless laugh knowing they didn't time for more as the sun would soon be rising.

"Later…" She whispered with a smile and a palm over his heart.

They bagged up the pillows and blankets in black plastic garbage bags for Antony to come back and get and put the candles together hidden under a bench knowing they'd be back having laid claim to this spot with the enclosed walls and open roof to let the beautiful night sky shine down upon them. He walked her back hand in hand through the flowers with soft laughter and smiles as he picked some for her and threaded one behind her ear on their way.

**_*Armageddon Love Theme*_**

When she was safely back up onto the balcony he kissed her once more and then slipped back into the night leaving Lena with a smile on her face watching him walk off in the brilliant moonlight as she twirled the purple flower in her fingers and watched him until he disappeared into the darkness before heading back to bed.

* * *

**_*I'm Alive*_**

Lena and Irina were running side-by-side around the property fence in the early morning twilight before each went to work and school the next morning.

"Okay… so something is different." Irina finally said something with a smile taking note of Lena's aura this morning, "You look like you haven't slept but you haven't stopped smiling since I knocked on your door to ask if you wanted to come with me and you haven't said a thing since we started running miles ago. Can you come down from _Cloud Nine_ for just a moment to tell me what's going on?"

Lena's tight lipped smile only grew and chuckled softy thinking about the fact that her mother knocked on her door just after she climbed over the balcony and changed into her pajamas. She hadn't slept at all but she was deliriously happy.

"Let's just say… that I'm _extremely happy_ that we waited for something more special than the bathroom of the club." Lena's smile raged and then started laughing at the look on her mother's face when she whipped her head to the side with wide eyes and a stunned smile.

"You mean you…" Irina motioned with her hand in front of her in a twirling motion as they ran with stun all over her face and smiling at the same time.

"Yes… we-" Lena smiled back doing the same twirling motion with her hand teasing her mother and then breaking out laughing.

"Okay then." Irina cleared her throat with a smile and Lena laughed more. "And you used…"

"Yes." Lena nodded with a smile knowing what her mother was asking without saying the words, "We were careful."

"Good." Irina answered in a funny high-pitched voice still in shock but had been expecting this conversation for some time now. "I guess I don't have to ask how it was since I had to call you down from Cloud Nine." She laughed softly, happy for her daughter that it was a positive experience.

"It was a beautiful dance, Mama." Lena answered softly with a smile reaching up to tuck a sweaty strand of hair behind her ear while they dodged around the corner. "More than I could possibly have imagined. I've never felt so alive in all my life, than I was with him. I've no regrets."

"I'm glad." Irina smiled wondering when the tears had formed in her eyes and thinking probably around the time she referred back to a 'beautiful dance' and moved to hear her daughter who was conceived into this world in such a beautiful dance had experienced one of her own for her first time. "And Antony? He didn't rush you into anything you weren't ready for?" She had to ask even knowing the answer already, knowing the kind of young man he was.

"No, he didn't. He was very respectful, very." Lena smiled still speaking softly with the flashes of his smiling face interrupting her vision. "I know now, why you wanted 'more' for me. To have it be special and it was."

Irina's tears were now streaming down her cheeks looking over at the profile of her daughter, a gorgeous young woman and so grown up. She reached her arm out coming to a stop and swung Lena around into her arms, wrapping them around her daughter's neck and holding her.

Lena smiled softly, returning the embrace and standing there quietly with her mother in the trees both with tears in their eyes.

"I love you, Sweetheart… and I'm so happy for you." Irina cried with a smile, pulling back to cup Lena's sweaty face, "When did you grow up so fast?" She laughed softly with a sniffle, "It seems like yesterday you were asking me about the dance of making love with your cute little face looking up at mine so innocently… and now hear you are telling me about your own beautiful dance." More tears surged forth when Lena smiled and her own tears fell, "Slow down in the growing up for a while, okay? It's going by too quickly for me as it is."

"Mama," Lena sighed with a teary smile, "No matter how quickly I grow up… I'm always going to be your Snuggle Bug… and you're always going to be my Mama." She laughed softly knowing that was true and she loved that fact. Only her mother could make her feel like a little girl, an equal, a woman, a friend and a daughter and she loved her dearly for it.

Irina hiccupped with a smile on a held back sob and Lena pulled her into her arms holding her tightly and then rocking back and forth dramatically in the bear hug making her laugh. "I love you." She sighed deeply, kissing her mother's sweaty cheek and pushing a hair behind Irina's ear before they started jogging and then running again.

"So I'm going to assume that since you've broken the barrier and done it once it's not likely to be a one time thing between the two of you?" Irina asked with a soft laugh wiping at her tears.

"I plan on repeating it… _many times_." Lena answered with a sway in her voice adding exaggeration and laughing with her mother whom she loved she could tell anything to.

"Well, okay then." Irina shook her head laughing softly, "We're going to have to get you a more stable form of protection. I'll make an appointment for you tomorrow to get some birth control and start you on the pill."

"Thank you," Lena smiled softly, "And for not freaking out on me." She laughed softly, "I'm sure Daddy will go ballistic considering he's caught Nee-Nee more then once and she has four children and yet he still is adamant about thinking she's never intimate with her own husband… that's funny to me considering the two you and your-" She made the twirling hand gesture again making Irina laugh, "Are you going to tell him right away? I know you don't keep things from him about stuff like this, falling into the Needs to Know Parental Category, but you know Daddy… he's going to freak out no matter what age I am so can't we just wait a little while… say, after my birthday when you and I can then remind him that he was sleeping with you at the same age?" She ended with a dip in her voice to a high hopeful pitch and raised brows that had Irina holding her side laughing at her tricky little mind.

"You're a natural Game Theorist, you know that?" Irina laughed shaking her head.

"Well, considering I'm the daughter of the world's best it just sort of comes naturally." Lena shrugged with a smiling laugh. "Please, Mama… I'll be more capable of having that argument with him having that ammunition on my side."

That comment made Irina snort with heavy laughter and new tears in her eyes, "You're now thinking of my intimate relationship with your father as ammunition? Oh God…" She couldn't stop laughing shaking her head that they were so much the same, knowing she slyly used that argument as ammunition with him when they'd settled on an age for Lena to date.

"Come on, Mama. It packs a punch!" Lena fisted her hand as they ran mimicking a punch with a laugh and a smile.

"Yes, but probably in reverse of what you want as he will definitely not be wanting to think of you doing the same things he and I were doing at your age." Irina smiled continuing to laugh softly with shoulders shaking thinking about some of those crazy endeavors she and Jack took on as challenges from the beginning of their sexual relationship. Everything seemed like a challenge including the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial.

"Well how is it my fault that I got your crazy wild love genes?" Lena snickered.

"It isn't." Irina laughed at the thought imagining Jack's reaction, "I'm proud of them and to have passed them on but what your father enjoys and appreciates about me... he hates to see in his daughters when it comes to _those kinds_ of genetic traits."

"Well, that's discrimination!" Lena roared with a smile and laughter with her mother.

"Yes. But he's your father and all fathers are that way. Mine was no different. He hated that our mother passed the same wild 'traits' onto his daughters." She laughed thinking about some of those conversations and comments, "Though I was fortunate in the fact that Russians have a much more open view on sexual relationships then what your father was raised under in the States. He was fine I was having one as long as he thought of it as only missionary and not adventurous." She and Lena were both laughing at that thought, "Don't ask me why he was fine with one but not the other… fathers are strange creatures."

"So you're okay if I'm adventurous and not missionary then?" Lena asked with a slanted eyebrow and curious smile to see what her mother's reaction to this question would be.

"Yes, of course I am!" Irina laughed, "As long as you're being safe, smart and as discrete about it as you can, I see no problem with you enjoying your own freedom to experiment. The whole point of doing it is to enjoy it and each other. It's just another facet to your relationship that allows you to grow and expand upon, allowing you to learn each other more intimately on many levels… not just the sexual ones."

"I'm learning that." Lena smiled softly thinking about the deeper connection she'd found with Antony last night and the new things they each learned about the other. "So you're not going to tell Daddy until after my birthday, right?" She asked again with a soft smile and Irina laughed again shaking her head at her daughter's determination.

"Well actually… this doesn't fall into the category of _Parental Need to Know_ as technically, by Russian Legal Standards you are an independent adult and this is your personal intimate relationship. It's private and between the two of you. You didn't have to share," Irina smiled softly over to Lena, "But I'm glad you did… I want you to know you can always tell me anything and I'm here and I'll keep your trust as long as its not life threatening or damaging in any way… you have my trust." She reached over and grabbed Lena's hand, squeezing it. "It's your choice whether or not you want to tell your father, not mine."

"Thank you," Lena's eyes watered with tears and a smile, "And I do trust you. I love being able to talk to you, I do… I really don't want to have that conversation with Daddy as it falls into the 'squick category' and being just 'different' talking about this kind of thing with your father and I'm sure he'd be more happy to not know and continue to live blissfully unaware in his _Virginal Fantasy Land_." She smiled when her mother started laughing, "But what if he finds out and knows you know and then you fight about it… that you knew and didn't tell him? I don't want him to be upset with you for that."

"That's nothing you need to worry about." Irina knew her daughter hated it when she and Jack argued, knowing it pained them both to do so and hating when they were in pain, just like herself in regards to her children. "If he says anything I'll answer him truthfully as I always do, your intimate relationship with Antony is your own personal business and no one else's. Its not mine to discuss unless, as I said, it becomes detrimental or harmful to you in anyway."

"It won't." Lena shook her head.

"I know." Irina squeezed her hand again with a smile.

"Thank you." Lena smiled loving these conversations on the runs with her mother.

"You're welcome… and thank you, for sharing. I'm happy for you." Irina smiled softly.

* * *

**_*Every Time We Touch *_**

In October, Antony turned seventeen and Lena's gift to him was to sing to him, something he loved and which she usually only did in private, the lyrics of a poem she had written to him in a surprise on stage at the packed club driving everyone wild.

What started as a one-time performance for Antony on his birthday turned into a European dance club sensation after it was remixed to a faster beat. Lena had gone into the studio with her friend who was the DJ at the club to lay the track so Antony could keep it and somehow it found it's way to the radio-stations. The song raced up the charts and quickly made its way to Number One and then invading America where it did the same, becoming the Club Anthem of the Year.

Everyone was continually fascinated by this Royal who unlike any other and everyone wanted interviews with her and to sing LIVE performances, which she turned down saying she never had intentions of continually performing. She granted one and only one interview to _Rolling Stone_ the premiere magazine of the music world and let them ask any questions they wanted and divulging her heartbreak over the breakup with the unnamed Parker, though everyone knew whom she was talking about, the rumors that were relentless and why she left America to graduate in Russia and finally, falling in love with her best friend and being deliriously happy.

They asked her about what life was like as the Tsarevicha to one day inherit the Throne from her mother, preparing for such a role and her reactions to the job her mother was doing as well as life as an Air Force Academy Cadet. She spoke of her work with the orphans of Russia and helping her mother now to finish ridding the world of the Black Market sale of human beings having almost been sold twice there in her life. She dispelled myths and rumors of what it was really like growing up in a modern monarchy and her reactions to the life her parents and siblings led before as well as what it was like to be an Olympian at only thirteen and how it changed her life and didn't and how she was preparing for the next Olympics in Moscow, her home country. She answered a series of rapid questions with true or false, yes and no and when they asked her if she was a virgin, she smiled and said, 'No,' and that was all she would say on the subject.

"My God! My little sister is so beautiful!" Sydney cried with pride in her eyes when the Imperial Family got their hands on the first copies the day of their release while every male in the room balked at the cover photograph of her looking entirely too gorgeous and sexy for their liking and when they read the article and read the answer to the question about her virginity status, all inhaled sharply with paling faces to discover she wasn't.

The older ones all had temporary daggers out for Antony with their glares for days before they calmed down though Jack was still freaking out on occasion for a week after and Irina had to laugh at him the night she spoke with him about it before going to bed. Telling him, as she said she would to Lena; that it was their business and no one else's but not to worry so much as they were being responsible about it and Lena was on the pill. That information sent him moaning and groaning pulling at his hair into the bathroom realizing that it wasn't an occasional event but a regular activity and had Irina falling back in bed laughing at his hysterical physical reaction.

* * *

In December they were all moved to tears to see Anya at age fifteen perform as one of the Prima ballerinas at the Boshoi in Moscow in _The Nutcracker _as the gorgeous Sugar Plum Fairy, taking over the role that had once been Irina's at the same age.

Jack's agony over his daughter's sexual relationship adventuring only expounded when they went to Goa, India the following January to celebrate Katya and the twins birthdays, after spending the week up north at Ash and Julian's for an additional week; it wasn't Lena this time that had him wanting to scream and stab his eyes out, but Nadia and her new found freedom in dating now that she was sixteen.

**_*Young Hearts Run Free*_**

"Jack, are you alright over there? Do you need another drink?" Katya asked him laughing from her chair under the umbrella watching her sister's husband silently fuming watching Nadia in the pool with a young man laughing and having a good time.

"Very funny." Jack smiled sarcastically.

"Oh relax, Jack. They're just young and having fun. He's a rather delicious looking young man, beautiful dark hair and eyes." She winked over at Marcelo who was laughing that she was goading Jack, "Look at that large muscular body of his. She did very good, very Derevko worthy."

Irina laughed seeing Jack roll his eyes, "Calm down, Sweetheart. Open mind, remember? Open mind." She laughed softly with a slanted eyebrow reminding him not to go overboard like he did with Lena turning sixteen and able to date.

"I thought that was your gorgeous profile sitting over here."

A familiar voice caught their attention from behind and everyone's hearts skipped a beat when Dubey picked up Irina's hand and kissed it.

"Jack," Dubey smiled extending his hand politely. "Fancy running into you here. What brings you to India?"

Lena's eyes widened shooting her gaze over to Sydney witnessing the first real interaction between her mother, father and Dubey, with grown up eyes after watching the films and learning the truth about her mother's past relationship with the man.

"Family time." Jack answered sitting up straighter in his chair on edge with pounding heart as the flashes of Irina with Dubey and their first sexual encounter in Goa flashed through his mind in an instant.

"Ah," Dubey smiled taking an open seat next to Vaughn beside Irina, "We're here for the same reason. My beautiful wife is currently out shopping with our youngest daughter and should be back soon. I'm supposed to be spending some time with the oldest two, though they seem to be enjoying themselves on their own." He laughed nodding towards the pool, "My son seems quite happy with that gorgeous young woman."

"Oh no…" Irina whispered under her breath just before Jack's reaction. His eyes flashing to the muscular young man now throwing Nadia into the pool making her laugh.

"He's yours?" Jack asked with raised eyebrows and a higher pitched voice than he'd like. Now that he'd had the connection, the looks and body type were a definite '_yes_.'


	53. Chapter 53

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): One More Night **_**by Maroon 5**_**  
**_

* * *

FIFTY-THREE

o

"Yeah, he's mine." Dubey smiled and laughed, "He's fifteen going on twenty-five, I swear. They grow up so fast don't they?" He winked at Irina having not seen them since he ran into them five years ago in Egypt and exchanged brief conversation about facts of life like the fact he'd just had another child to add to his own twins and Irina once again thanking him for his efforts in finding the girls years ago on the Black Market.

"Too fast." Irina answered, "The young woman he's currently having fun with is our youngest daughter, Nadia."

"Nadia?" His eyes widened with a smile. "Wow…she grew up! Well, that explains her beauty and his attraction." Dubey laughed while everyone else at the table watched this interaction with a certain fascination and uneasiness, all with wide-eyes. "They seem to be quite taken with each other…"

"So it seems." Irina responded with a slight smile very uneasy with the situation, never liking Jack and Dubey in the same vicinity.

"Well, he's a good kid, don't worry." Dubey smiled looking at Jack. "I don't worry about him as much as I do our oldest daughter, Rianna. She's got quite the wild streak and I have to keep an eye on her. Don't want some punk taking advantage of my girl." He nodded towards the opposite end of the pool towards his daughter. "I'm sure you understand as a father, it's just different with your girls." He laughed softly looking at Jack. "That guy she's been swimming with doesn't seem to be a punk but still… got to keep my eye on him."

"He's not." Jack answered in monotone swallowing hard looking at his son splashing in the water with the girl, "It's our son, Nicholas."

Dubey burst into deep laughter, "Oh, that's ironic. Your son and my daughter, my son and your daughter… My twins and yours… well Irina," He shook his head laughing softly with a hint of longing still in his eyes, clearly still and always would be, in love with her, "You and I never shared a baby but we just may end up sharing grandchildren."

Jack's eyebrows hit his hairline before squeezing into a glare and fist balling at his side, extremely disturbed with that thought and mentioning. Everyone else around the tables eyes widening as well and taking large simultaneous sips of their drinks.

"I'll have another one of these." Jack waved his finger at the waiter getting another drink and Katya sucked in her lips, biting them and trying to hide her smile knowing this shouldn't be entertaining at all but in some twisted way it was.

"Well, now I'm less concerned for her," Dubey sat back smiling watching his daughter, "I wouldn't expect anything but a respectable young man with the both of you as his parents. Someone who knows how to treat a lady." He flashed his eyes from Irina to Jack and then chuckled again, "What are the odds that both our sons and daughters would end up falling for each other? I understand why there is a mutual attraction and the draw is strong… hard not to fall for those eyes and smile," Dubey smiled at Irina taking note that both her children possessed those two features, "I just hope they don't get their hearts broken." His eyes were intent and smile fell just a little as he stood and kissed Irina's hand, "Seeing as how my children are in capable hands and enjoying themselves," He extended his hand to Jack, "I'm going to go find my own beautiful wife and spend some time with her...Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous. An astonishingly beautiful woman like her mother." He smiled again looking over at Nadia, nodding his 'goodbye' to the rest of the table with a smile, "I'm sure we'll see each other around. Enjoy yourselves. Irina, always a pleasure in seeing you." He added softly with a slight bow and smile.

* * *

"Nadia, do you realize who he is?" Lena pulled her aside in the pool some time later after discovery the gorgeous guy her sister was with, last name. "He's Vijay Dubey! _Dubey!_" Her eyebrows rose, "As in the guy Mama was with that Daddy is not exactly crazy about."

Nadia looked over at her new 'friend' with stunned eyes and then smiled, "Well, he's gorgeous and fun and I don't care who his father is! So what if his father and Mama had some crazy mad passionate sex for years… that has nothing to do with he and I!" She countered with a stubborn slant of her own eyebrow and smile.

"Are you kidding me? Daddy can't stand to be around the guy for more then five minutes just on that fact alone, that he was with Mama for so many years when Daddy wasn't! There is no way you can keep a relationship with him going after we leave here anyway!" Lena tried to reason with her sister.

"Maybe so! But we're going to have fun while we're here! And you're really one to talk about the sins of the mother and father reflecting on the children's relationships when you argued the same point a year ago about Parker being Brian's son!" She flashed her dark gaze with a smirk and tilt of her head.

"Yes! And it was a horrible mistake!" Lena grasped her shoulders, "I should have listened to Daddy because the guy turned out to be a giant creep!"

"Well he isn't a giant creep and neither is his father! The only reason Daddy doesn't like him 'is' because he was with Mama for so many years, her source of comfort and friend and he 'isn't' a giant creep but a nice, caring guy who took care of Mama. Those are good qualities and not a good reason to not like his son! Daddy has even admitted before that he was glad Mama had Dubey in her life to be there when he couldn't and saved her life… even if he hated it at the same time!" Nadia shifted her weight on her hips crossing her arms over her chest, "Because he knew he wasn't an all bad guy! He cared about Mama!"

"That guy is '_still'_ in love with Mama! It was clear as day sitting there, watching him look at her and speak, Nadia! Don't you think this is going to add to the stress their being here already puts on Mama and Daddy? Do you want them to fight about this because of you wanting to have fun?" Lena asked with pounding heart remembering clearly the explosion between her parents in the film in Jakarta over the man. She knew they were all on 'cordial' terms now but it was still strained.

"No, I don't want them to fight but they have no reason to! Why would they fight about this? Mama loves Daddy and Daddy loves Mama and they are more in love with each other then anyone I know! I can't see 'them' fighting over it…maybe both of them fighting with 'me' but not them!" Nadia believed in her stance and wasn't backing down, "He's a nice guy, Lena… and we're just having fun. Come on," Her voice softened, "I backed you up and helped you with Parker… I'm not planning on marrying the guy or anything… just having some wild fun while in Goa for my birthday!"

Lena sighed with shoulders falling, knowing it was her turn to return the favor, "Well, I certainly hope you don't plan on marrying him, good guy or not, the idea of Mama and Dubey sharing grandchildren just about made Daddy's head explode!"

Nadia started laughing, "Well, why? She shares grandchildren with Uncle Mikhail and they've slept together. It'd just be another '_keeping it all in the family_' kind of things." She was joking but the look on her sister's face was too funny not to. "I'm kidding, calm down… but the look on your face was hilarious! Just like Mama's when I stun her."

"Her sleeping with Uncle Mikhail was one time, her first time because he knew what it was going to be like for her once she was in the KGB training as a 'seduction agent' and didn't want her first time to be with some 'Art of Seduction' instructor learning a 'lesson' and completely different then the relationship she had with Dubey… completely." Lena was on the defensive for her mother, glad that her mother's first time was with Mikhail and special instead of with some older KGB officer learning her 'lesson' especially after having her own special first time with Antony and knowing how important it was for it to be with someone you 'want' to be with, not 'have' to be with.

"Hey, calm down!" Nadia reached her hand out grabbing Lena's upper arm with serious eyes, "You never have to defend Mama to me… I'm always on her side and I know what it was like for her and why… you don't have to explain, she already did and what she did really isn't my business anyway. She's my Mama and I'm going to love her regardless… I was just joking."

"Well then, respect her enough and Daddy not to continue this relationship past this weekend… _promise!_" Lena was looking at her with the same serious eyes.

"Lena, I do respect them both… and I promise that I will not continue this relationship after this weekend but while we're here… I'm going to have fun with him! Why aren't you lecturing Nicolai about this? He's with his sister!" Nadia asked with furrowed brow about the double standard.

"I did but it's not the same as you and Dubey Junior because you are Mama's daughter with 'his' son…the same dynamic and yes it may be a double standard but one I can actually see." Lena sighed and put her hair behind her ear, "Just be careful, please! I don't want you getting hurt like I did with Parker."

"I won't… but thank you for caring." Nadia smiled, kissing her cheek and then hugging her, "You're a good sister."

"So are you." Lena smiled hugging her back, "Just try to stay out of Mama and Daddy's sight with him, okay?"

* * *

**_*One More Night*_**

The lights were flashing with blaring music at the rave on the beach and hundreds of young bodies working up a sweat everywhere having a good time and Jack couldn't help but stare at them from far away, his eyes zeroed in on his youngest daughter in her bikini top and sari dancing and smiling in the dark with Mini-Me Dubey and having a good time. She looked entirely too much like her mother watching her now and with him, it unnerved Jack greatly.

He was on the far side of the pool leaning against the edge with folded arms on the sides taking a late night swim with the incredible heat when Irina finally spoke.

"Are you going to stay over there, watching them all evening or are you going to come over here and play with me?" Irina asked with a coy smile removing her sari as she sat on the edge and dipped her long legs into the water tired of sitting in her lounge chair watching him watch them for the last half hour. "It's not often these days I get you all alone… to myself in an empty pool late at night under the stars." She smiled with a naughty grin, knowing they couldn't 'do' anything naughty in a public place but it would sure be a nice foreplay to heat things up and finish in their room just a few feet away. "I must be losing my appeal if you'd rather watch a bunch of raving teenagers then play with me mostly naked in a pool." She joked with a smile watching him cross the pool to her.

"You, My Love," Jack picked her leg up out of the water kissing his way up from ankle to knee with a smile, "Will never lose your appeal." 'For everyone' his mind suddenly thought internally thinking about how appealing she was still to Dubey and he couldn't blame the man, his wife was extraordinary and unforgettable and he thanked God everyday for being the man she woke up with and went to bed next to every night… "I want you more every time I look at you." He smiled settling between her legs where she still sat on the edge and wrapped his wet arms around her and kissed the bare skin above her belly button.

"Well that's good to know." Irina laughed softly threading her fingers through his hair, "Because it seems… I want you all the time."

"All the time? Really?" Jack's voice took on a teasing curious tone, playing a new game.

"Yes… all the time. Sometimes I'll be in a meeting with some foreign dignitary and completely space out with split focus listening to them on some level and yet, thinking about you and what I wished we were doing at that moment… or what I am going to do to you when I get home." She gave him a sexy grin and he pulled her into the pool and against his chest, swimming with her out into the middle.

"Ooooh, you naughty Tsar…" Jack smiled spinning with her slowly as they tread water. "Do tell."

"I don't know…" She swayed her head and voice with a playful tone, "I'm not sure I have your complete attention… I don't want your focus split with me right now." Her eyes flashed deviance.

"Well how can I prove that you have my full attention, Sweetheart?" Jack smiled and Irina pushed away from him, dipping under the water and he inhaled sharply when she grasped his already hardening length from the moment he turned around and saw her at the edge of the pool.

She smiled under water feeling him jerk into her hand and breeched the surface with a smile and hair slicked back, wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his waist, her crux against her shaft, pinning it between them in sensual tease.

"Sufficient proof, My Love?" Jack asked with a smile and she laughed. "I only have two thoughts going on right now… listening to you about to describe your naughty drifting thoughts and how I'm going to make them a reality very soon."

"Hmmm." Irina smiled pleased, "Well then… where was I?" She asked coyly as if in thought knowing he was very eager now.

"About to tell me the ways your mind drifts into more pleasurable activities while you're working." Jack smiled pulling her closer and rubbing her body slowly up against his creating more friction of actions to come. "I used to do that all the time too… when I was working in the office. Sitting there, drifting off, thinking about making love to you when I got home… That's why I practically attacked you coming through the door… just after kissing Sydney and spending some time with her of course." He laughed and so did she remembering those times well, "Going away on missions was always the worst… I couldn't stop the thoughts and had no way of acting on them being away from you for so long… it was torture." He laughed softly thinking of the duality of that statement, "My only relief came in those moments I was alone to relieve some of the tension… closing my eyes thinking about you and letting my hand take over."

Irina laughed wrapping her arms lazily around his neck and playing with the hair at the nap of his neck, "You're poor hand must have got a lot of work…" She smiled naughtily looking down thinking about how much he'd been gone in the early years of the marriage, "I know mine did." She flashed her eyes up to his with a sexy shy smile and Jack's eyes widened approvingly with a smile, imagining such. "Of course, my fingers were nothing like you… not nearly as long… or thick." She added softly in her deep husky sexy voice with a thick Russian accent that always drove him nuts.

Jack groaned and tightened even more against his swim trunks and their bodies, wanting to bury himself in her right now with that image. "My hand was never adequate either… always made me want you more. Even after you left…" His eyes zeroed in on hers, "Even after I learned the truth… it started out with me doing it unconsciously in my sleep dreaming about you because night was the one time my heart was allowed to take over. Then once I learned to separate the images of you in my mind… Laura and Irina so I could still love my wife and hate what you did…it became a conscious act, imagining making love to you as Laura, my wife." It sounded strange and yet not, to look at calling her Laura now and thinking of her as such, only seeing Irina with the images completely merged in his mind for years now. "On rare occasions when I was really emotional or drunk… angry, I'd imagine it was you, 'Irina' the woman who betrayed me that I was fucking senseless… hard and fast, curiously allowing my mind to wander what 'you' were really like and letting out my aggression at never knowing and hating you for it, in my mind at the same time."

Irina was listening intently, having never heard this before and taking note of his 'making love' to Laura but 'fucking' Irina… a clear separation.

"Course… then it became very complicated after you turned yourself into the CIA… and as you know and saw in the films, I began to dream of making love to you… 'Irina.' And once again my heart leading the charge to tell me what it really wanted at night, became something as it had before, that eventually carried over into the conscious… the first time I did so and imagined I was making love to you, 'Irina,' while doing it…" He swallowed hard, pausing a moment thinking back to that moment in wanting her so badly, "Was after working with you on the Kane case and having imagined taking you in a hundred ways that day in your cell. I'd really thought about it after returning from Kashmir and having touched you for the first time, been that near to you and had your lips on mine again… The curiosity of what you, Irina, were like was still there as well as the longing for my wife whom I saw when I looked at you and knew what you were like and missed you." His eyes were intent on her's with a smile; "I couldn't stop myself from needing that physical release in imagining it, carrying out those fantasies especially after finding you we were still married… subconsciously linking the two images of you yet further in my mind and gave me a, sort of permission to imagine making love to you, 'Irina' … because you were still my wife… and I told myself it was 'Laura' though it was another lie to myself as it was your image in the cell, Irina, that I was actually making love to in my mind with closed eyes."

"And after we made love in Panama and I left you again?" Irina asked softly holding his gaze intently.

"I couldn't… it hurt too much." Jack answered softly swallowing hard.

"Not even with Laura?" Irina asked with the same soft voice in almost a choked whisper.

"I could only see, Irina after Panama… even when I wanted to hate you again… the images of you had merged in my mind only leaving Irina even if I didn't want to believe it then… but there was no question that I'd made love with my wife in Panama… and my wife that night was, Irina. There was no more Laura…" Jack shook his head softly holding her more tightly, "Only you… and I just couldn't do it."

"Neither could I." Irina answered in a whisper with tears building in her eyes thinking about the torturous months without him. "At least you had the privacy to do so in the months before," She lightened with a soft laugh and smile, "I had security cameras on me 24/7 and a guard with me even in the shower… there was no way for me to get that physical release even though I'd imagined making love with you many times during my captivity in glass… that was torturous."

"I can only imagine." Jack smiled softly having never thought about that until now.

"After so much built up sexual tension between the two of us, I was about to explode and thank God for the shower I took while getting ready to go out with you that night in Bangkok or I might have done severely more damage in the club then I did already." She smiled watching his eyes widen.

"You did that in the shower when I was right outside the door?" Jack asked with a thick voice and lengthening further with the thought.

"Yes," Irina laughed, "Are you kidding me? After months in captivity and the unresolved sexual tension with you, while being on a mission with you… I am not one to miss an opportunity and I saw mine with the first shower I had alone in ten months and took it! Thank God for jet stream detachable shower nozzles." She added in a sultry voice with a wink and Jack groaned.

"You could have just asked me to help you with that problem… I was right outside the door." Jack thrust his hips unconsciously into hers and Irina laughed in turn.

"Jack, you were still hating me then. You thought I was the Devil and I highly doubt that had I asked you would have helped me." She kept laughing softly shaking her head.

"I think you're wrong." Jack answered seriously, shaking his head, "I was already wavering greatly between wanting to strangle you and wanting to throw you down and make wild passionate love with you under the same unresolved sexual tension and in fact thought of it many times of doing just that the moment you came out of the bathroom in that dress. I'm more then certain thinking about it now that had you poked your head out of the bathroom and asked me in there to get you off there would have been no way in the world I would have been able to say no. We could have saved ourselves a week of torture by waiting until Panama."

"And then 'Panama' would be Bangkok, and you'd be Bangkok Jack instead of Panama Jack," Irina started laughing hysterically, "And that just sounds so wrong… and, a very important 'and," Irina sobered slightly in her laughing with wide eyes, "We wouldn't have Lena because I wasn't ovulating in Bangkok… not to mention our mission would have failed, as would have my plan and escape and I'd more then likely be sitting in prison somewhere forgotten by now with my Life Sentence and never after that night having been able to make love with you ever again under such conditions, so…" She sighed heavily with a smile, "Everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Fate played its part and our lives are the better for me getting myself off that night… instead of asking for your help." She added with a snort and deep laugh.

"Well then, thank God for getting yourself off!" Jack added with a smile and laughed with her and she threw her head back laughing as they slowly turned around and around in the water and Jack seized the opportunity to kiss her neck.

Dubey and his beautiful wife were walking hand in hand on the far side of the courtyard going for their own walk on the beach and heard Irina's laughter and then Jack's and saw them laughing and swimming in the pool together obviously happy.

"She's very happy." His wife smiled softly, knowing her husband would always be in love with the gorgeous Russian Tsar but secure in their own marriage knowing he loved her to in a different way and accepting it. She was happy to see Irina and Jack happy after learning their tragic love story that was now a happily ever after.

"Yes." Dubey smiled staring at Irina always loving to see her laugh and smile and never brighter then right now, in the arms of the one she'd always loved, "They were meant to be. Just as we were." He turned his head, picking up their joined hands and kissing hers with a raging smile, "Everything worked out the way it was meant to and I couldn't be happier for all of us."

* * *

They'd come to the States during the Russian school break in late February, having two weeks off every year at this time of year to close out the Winter Sessions and get ready for the Spring and break up the peril of the harsh Russian winter. Jack and Irina had come earlier spending a week in Rosarita, Mexico over their anniversary and their children plus Antony, had flown over to meet up with them at their home in Pasadena when they returned. Sydney, Vaughn and their children had also returned. Upon returning, Jack and Irina were about to get another lesson on what's really important in a horrifying way they could have never imagined in their worst nightmares.

"Ah… Lena," Nadia came into her room as soon as Antony left with Nicholas to pick up Jaxx and go out for the day, "I kind of, sort a, need your help." She was fidgeting nervously biting on her lip in a move just like her mother.

"What's wrong?" Lena was instantly concerned sitting up in the window seat where she was reading '_The Art of War'_ preparing for the quiz she knew her mother would verbally give her about it and the teachings within upon their return from Mexico tomorrow. It was just one of the many 'lessons' she'd read and learn about and then discuss.

"I think I'm pregnant." Nadia said in a quiet rush looking away.

"_What?_" Lena almost screamed instantly flying out of the window seat.

"You heard me… and I'm late, really late." Nadia sat heavily on the bed, "At first I thought it was my upped workout routine getting ready for the Olympic Trials but now I'm not so sure."

"Dubey?" Lena asked breathless with pounding heart only knowing of her sister ever sleeping with one guy.

"Yes! I'm not a slut, Lena! I haven't just slept with everyone! He's the only one!" Nadia yelled back with tears in her eyes.

"I'm not suggesting you were it's just… _Oh my God, Dubey!_" Lena put her hands on her head with wide eyes realizing the implications here. "See, this is why you have to use some sort of protection! _Oh my God, Dubey!_"

"What am I going to do?" Nadia asked wiping at the lone tear. "If I am pregnant with his baby, Daddy's going to kill me!" She cried.

"He's not going to kill you," Lena instantly sat beside her, pulling Nadia into her arms, "He will kill him, but he's not going to kill you." She sighed heavily, "Okay so before we start really freaking out on this… let's just take a deep breath," She inhaled deeply and so did Nadia, "And think… we're going to have to get a pregnancy test."

"Well, I can't go buy one or it will be all over the news!" Nadia cried wiping at her eyes hating that their lives were such a fascination to the rest of the world, especially in America where whenever they stepped foot on the soil it seemed the paparazzi were everywhere following them. It was nice having her mother as the rule making Tsar in Russia where she banned the 'stalking' and the press there were fine with it as long as they got the occasional photos, which they did.

"Well, I can't either! Or they'll all think that I'm the one who's pregnant!" Lena countered knowing that wasn't an option either and not eager to get thrown back into the rumor pit of vicious vipers after what happened with Parker. "We'll have to get somebody who no one is going to freak out about if they're suspecting they're pregnant to buy it." She thought for a moment, "Damn, I wish Sophia was here… she'd do it."

"I was just thinking that too." Nadia sniffled thinking about her very cool Godmother.

"We're going to have to ask Nee-Nee, she'll do it." Lena stood nodding confidently, "She's bound by the code of sisterhood to do it. She'll do it." She nodded again, sure of herself even if leery of the conversation that was bound to precede it, she knew they could always count on their big sister.

* * *

"So what's going on?" Sydney asked coming into the house she grew up in and facing her sisters after being called over. "Something heavy obviously as you told me not to bring Lara and come alone."

"We have to ask a big sisterly favor of you." Lena began with pleading eyes, "Because we're so watched, we need you to go buy a pregnancy test." She added in the same quiet rush.

"_What?_" Sydney exploded up off the stool with the same look Lena had, "You're pregnant?" Her eyes scanned her sister in disbelief. "I thought you were on the pill?"

"I am." Lena answered in a calm tone swallowing hard.

"But I'm not." Nadia added quietly with fresh tears in her eyes.

"_You?_" Sydney's eyes widened with stolen breath unaware her sister who'd just begun dating was already having sex. Lena waited only two days before telling her in the same confidence about she and Antony but she hadn't heard anything out of Nadia and for a moment she was pained at not knowing. "With who? I didn't even know you were seeing anyone!"

When explained, the 'who' and the details were going to give Sydney an aneurism thinking about the repercussions of her sister carrying the child of Dubey.

"Do you have any idea what this is going to do to Mom? And Dad? To see him all the time and interact with him, spend holidays and birthdays with him sharing this child, especially after he wanted so badly to have a baby with Mom?" Sydney was freaking out, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!" She paced rapidly spinning in circles with hands on her head.

"I know!" Nadia sobbed feeling like her heart was being ripped out at the thought of hurting her mother for a lifetime with her one act of senseless stupidity. "I don't know what to do? Help me, please!"

"I don't know how!" Sydney cried with tears in her own eyes wishing she could and solve this rapidly before anyone else got hurt.

"Okay, we just all need to calm down here!" Lena fought the watery tears off in a calm voice, "Let's stop freaking about the 'what ifs' and find out for certain before we all have a meltdown about what to do! Sydney," She addressed her sister by her full name getting serious, something she rarely if ever called her, "Please… this is why she needs your help… you can help her by getting a test to find out one way or the other. I would do it but that would start another firestorm of rumors."

"Please, Sydney." Nadia begged with a whisper.

"Fine," Sydney stood with a sigh and tears in her eyes, "But why is it that you only told me when you needed my help? Why didn't you tell me before? After it happened? I thought we had that open relationship going as sisters?"

"We do!" Nadia cried feeling a stab in her heart at seeing her older sister feeling out of the loop and used, "I do tell you everything its just-"

"I told her not to say anything to anyone." Lena sighed wiping at her own tears feeling badly as well, "She was going to tell you and I told her to just forget it and never speak of it because of who it was… I know that you went through that with Mama and Daddy and had to witness it first hand and it was painful for you too and I know you tell Mama everything too and didn't want you to have to lie forever about it… it was bad enough I was going to have to. I'm sorry."

"And I wasn't planning on lying to Mama forever about it either," Nadia cried sniffling, "Just maybe until I was thirty or so, happily married and pregnant and then she wouldn't' be so upset with so many years passed between. I'm sorry, Sydney."

Sydney couldn't help but chuckle through her tears with her sister's logic.

"I can appreciate the reasons 'why' you didn't want her to tell me in that you were trying to protect me and keep me from having to lie about it to Mom…" She addressed Lena first, "And I accept your apology as I do yours, Nadia but it drives me just as nuts when you guys try to protect me from things as it does you, when I do the same!" She shook her head and smiled, "I know there is little we can do to change that or the way we feel and respond as it seems we all, the three of us and Mom, feel the constant need to protect the other and keep things from each other to do so, in spite of the fact it drives us all nuts when the places our switched…" She sighed.

"I am sorry, Nee-Nee…it wasn't my place to tell her not to tell you." Lena apologized again with tears in her eyes. "I just really didn't want to hurt you knowing that it was you who really had to pick up the pieces and at least shove them into piles so that Mama and Daddy could put everything back together after they were broken in Jakarta and the first meeting of Daddy and Dubey." She wiped at a fallen tear, "We wouldn't be here if you hadn't pushed through the hurt in the both of them and let them see through the fog after that, clearing the way for some open communication by pointing out truths, facts and realities to them and what they needed to tell each other being the 'loving someone' on the outside who wasn't blinded by being too close but able to see them both so clearly and enough to point those out… Mama always says you were her saving grace… and I, her second chance… but without you there wouldn't have been one really…"

Lena paused inhaling a sob feeling so badly, "And I never ever want you to think I don't appreciate you and love you for doing that for me…for us…because if you hadn't, Nadia and Nicholas might not have ever been born and I would have grown up with separated parents instead of a loving close-knit family. I love and respect you tremendously for what you've done for us and I can't stand the thought of you thinking we only come to you when we need something… because that's not true." She was shaking her head softly, "I come to you because I know I can always count on you and trust that you'll know what to do when I don't… because you're my big sister, and I love you and respect you so much. I didn't know what to do or how to help Nadia but I knew that you would…I'm sorry for making you feel left out or that we use you." She hiccupped on her sob feeling her heart breaking and not knowing any other way to convince her sister otherwise.

Both Sydney and Nadia had rivers of tears staining their faces and Sydney stepped forward rapidly, pulling them both in for a hug and the three of them wrapped their arms around each other. Sydney was in awe of Lena's perception of her and how she fit into their family having no idea her sisters' thoughts about what happened to get them to this point and moved to hear the appreciation and love she was never expecting or ever thinking about it from them for her efforts with her parents to give her siblings better then what she had, but was nice to know she had it.

"I love you both so much…and I did what I did because I love Mom and Dad just as much and I wanted a family for _me_, just as much but especially for you." She held them both tightly, "They did all the work; I just gave them gentle shoves in certain directions at times." She laughed softly and they did too, "And I know that you love me and come to me because of that and I'm honored that you do and that you trust and respect me enough to tell me these things and ask for my help…and I never thought you used me ever up until today and I only said that because it was the heat of the moment and I was scared not knowing what to do or how to help you…because I want to protect you guys and keep you safe just as much as you want to with me…and I'm sorry for saying that." She kissed them both, "I know you must be scared," She rested her forehead with Nadia's, "But we'll figure it out. I'll go get the test and come right back."

"Thank you." Nadia cried softly feeling Sydney's lips to her forehead, "I love you and thank you for helping me."

"It's what sisters do." Sydney smiled softly to the both of them and let go to get the test.

* * *

"What's this?" Jack held up the pregnancy test box after finding it in the garbage by chance when he was dumping it in the bins outside. They'd gotten home earlier in the day and Irina was just finishing a phone call with Vladimir checking in. Jack's face was completely ashen at the thought of them having another baby now.

"It's not mine." Irina's eyes widened shaking her head realizing what he thought seeing his coloring.

"Then whose is it?" His breath had come back only to be stolen again with widening eyes, "I thought you told me Lena was on the pill?"

"She is!" Irina countered back with just as much surprise thinking about the prospects.

"_Nadia!_" Jack gasped in a loud whisper crunching the box in his hand feeling like he was about to have a heart attack at the prospect.

"Okay," Irina's own heart was pounding, "Calm down and… I'll go talk to her and find out what's going on. Let's not panic here and assume the worst." She didn't want this to turn into a huge fight like it had with Lena on their first 'assumptions' and they liked to believe they learned their lesson on that.

"The worst being what? I don't like either outcome as if she's not pregnant, let's hope to God she isn't!" He raged mid-sentence, "She's still having sex and 'almost' getting pregnant!" He waved the box around frantically. "Who the hell is she even dating? She just turned sixteen!"

"No one that I know of." Irina shook her head; "I'll go talk to her…please, just…go for a walk or something and calm down. I don't want to just assume and accuse her of anything…and if she is pregnant," She swallowed hard with a skip in her heart, "She's bound to be scared about it and terrified of our reactions anyway so lets just not add more tension to the situation until we know the facts. We can be upset later as this is about her now, not us. Raging right now isn't going to do any damn bit of good for any of us so…please," She stepped forward gently touching his arm, "Go for a walk and when you come back I'll fill you in…the only reason I'm suggesting such is because I'm sure you're not really wanting to hear the details of her sex life?" She smiled at him softly trying to ease the tension.

"No, definitely not!" Jack shook his head, "This is definitely a mother-daughter conversation just as it was when she started her period. I don't want any part of it. I'll take care of the boy…you handle the girls. We agreed on that and I'm just fine with that." He sighed heavily while her smile widened with a nod, "Oh God what are we going to do if she is? She's only sixteen!"

"Don't go there, Jack…" Irina shook her head, "No talk of 'what ifs' lets just get the facts first." She kissed his lips and took the crumbled box from his hand. "I love you…and it will be okay."

"I love you too…and God I hope you're right." He kissed her again quickly, "Come on Nana," He patted his thigh and the dog jumped up from where she had been laying at Irina's feet. "Let's go for a walk girl."

Irina waited until the two were out the door before looking at the box and sighing taking a deep breath, closing her eyes and hoping to God that the stick that was inside read negative. When the other three had gone out for the day, she'd thought it odd her daughter didn't join them as she normally did and now her stomach was in knots as to the why. She walked up the steps and knocked on Nadia's door softly with the box behind her back.

"Yes," Nadia's sweet voice came through the wooden door. "You can come in."

Irina opened the door and stepped inside to see her daughter on the floor having obviously been meditating and Irina only hoped it wasn't because she was stressed out from finding out the results, wandering how she was going to break the news to her parents.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" Irina asked calmly with a smooth voice and hands behind her back looking down at Nadia.

_'God! How is it that she seems to know everything?'_ Nadia immediately thought internally terrified, _'Does it show or something?'_

"What are you talking about, Mama?" She asked out loud instead, hoping to play dumb for a moment to buy her some time to think of a response while her heart dropped into her stomach and it turned inside out.

Irina knelt down on her haunches to eye level and brought the crushed pregnancy test box around from her back holding it between them and Nadia sighed heavily, blowing out a deep breath and then looked away, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Why did you just assume that it was mine? It could have been Lena's?" She asked quietly wondering if everyone suddenly thought of her as a slut as she was beginning to feel that way with tears forming in her eyes already.

"Your sister is on the pill and while it can still happen, the chances are less then 1%…" Irina paused taking her own calming breath with pounding heart seeing her daughter was stalling and trying not to fear the worst with what that meant, "And I wasn't here to accuse you, but ask if it was yours which you just confirmed it is…I wasn't even aware you were having sex…if you'd have come to me, I would have helped you get protection just as I did for your sister." Her eyes were filling with tears she was trying hard to blink back.

"It was only one time!" Nadia cried in her little voice that sounded so sweet and innocent going along perfectly with her petite muscular pixie like body. "And I wanted to come to you…I just couldn't." She still refused to look at her mother and the tears were rolling off her chin. "I just couldn't tell you about this!"

"It only takes once." Irina spoke softly with intent eyes filled with tears and then falling at realizing she must be pregnant from her reaction. She reached out with fingers to gently grasp Nadia's chin and make her look at her. "Why did you think you couldn't come to me?" She asked after hearing Nadia say, she 'wanted' to come to her but felt she 'couldn't' and wanted to know why.

"I didn't want to hurt you." Nadia answered in a whisper with dark eyes spilling rampant tears. "God, Mama…I didn't want to hurt you!" She cried shaking her head.

"Why did you think you would hurt me?" Irina's eyebrows narrowed as she spoke in a soft voice full of concern, "Did you think I'd be upset that you started having sex to begin with?"

"No." Nadia sobbed softly still shaking her head slightly against Irina's grasp on her face.

"Then what?" Irina asked again with more of her own tears falling.

"It's with 'whom' that I didn't want to hurt you." Nadia's face contorted in a held back sob and more tears flooded her eyes seeing her mother already crying and hating herself for causing them and undoubtedly more when she learned the truth.

"Whom?" Irina asked with pounding heart bouncing in her chest afraid of the answer seeing her daughter so upset and worried about her reaction.

"I can't tell you! I'm so sorry, Mama!" Nadia hiccupped in another sob.

"Who so you think is so bad you can't tell me?" Irina asked starting to shake slightly through her own tears fearing her daughter's answer with her reaction.

"Dubey." Nadia whispered.

"_Dubey?_" Irina shouted immediately horrified that the man she slept with and had a relationship with, had slept with her sixteen year old daughter. _'He slept with my daughter?'_ She screamed to herself in angered rage and shock and then another realization slammed through her literally knocking on her ass holding the pregnancy test box in her hand, "Oh my God!" She thought she was going to faint, this was worse then she could ever have imagined and no wonder Nadia was terrified to come to her. "I'm going to kill him!"

"I'm sorry, Mama…so sorry." Nadia was trying hard to hold back her sobs and her face was contorting as she bit her lip.

"You slept with Dubey?" Irina held her breath in the next with raging tears and pounding heart.

"Yes." Nadia answered in another whisper. Her mother's reaction was worse than she could ever have imagined and the pain she saw in her eyes and heard in her voice made her turn her face away. "I'm so sorry, Mama!" She cried.

"Oh my God," Irina swallowed the bile creeping into her throat trying to stem the urge to vomit at sharing a man with her daughter and the fact he went after Nadia, no doubt because he couldn't have her but she didn't want to believe it…never would she have thought him a predator like that, ever… and sick that she brought this man into her daughter's life, "You really had sex with him? Vijay Dubey?" Wanting to clarify and still not believing this was happening.

"Yes." Nadia answered in complete shame seeing how horrendously her mother was reacting and feeling so dirty about it, "I'm sorry, Mama…" She was sobbing uncontrollably and decided to come clean with it all and take the shame, "We were talking and then he kissed me and things started getting heated pretty quickly and he went behind me and started kissing my neck and pulled me back against him and I felt he was excited for me, and it surprised me that I did that to him, that he wanted me and my mind was swimming all over the place not knowing what to do and then when he slid his fingers down the front of my suit between my legs and touched me it was like nothing I'd ever felt before and he kept going and slid them inside me and-"

"_Stop!_" Irina screamed covering her eyes with the visuals assaulting her brain knowing that move from her own experience with him and jumped up running to the bathroom and threw up with Nadia standing in the doorway sobbing and then falling to her knees beside her mother.

"Mama, I'm sorry!" Nadia sobbed uncontrollably as Irina continued to vomit, "I should have stopped it but I didn't! I can't take it back! I wish I could! But it's too late! I'm sorry, Mama!"

Jack came through the door and heard the crying and dry-heaving upstairs with Nadia practically screaming 'I'm sorry, Mama' through raging tears and he bolted up the stairs to the open bathroom door and saw Irina violently throwing up until she was gagging and his eyes widened wondering 'what in the hell was going on' and what could be so bad to make Irina vomit, even if their daughter was pregnant he'd thought she'd handle it much better then him, but this…

"What the hell is going on?" He asked frantically at the out of control situation while Nadia continued to apologize on her knees, reaching out and touching Irina's arm and only making her mother retch violently again.

"It's Dubey, Jack!" Irina sobbed into the toilet speaking in a rush, "She slept with Dubey!" And then she threw up again with that image and the fact her daughter was now carrying his baby.

Jack's breath was gone in an instant and his hand fisted against his chest falling backwards and sliding down the wall while Nadia screamed her apologies through raging tears.

"You slept with Dubey?" He asked and Irina vomited again instantly hearing it come out of Jack's mouth.

"_Yes!_" Nadia answered in pained sob and Irina vomited again, unable to stop.

"You had sex with Dubey?" He asked again rapidly wanting to believe this was only some kind of nightmare as the images from the film of the wild sex the man had with his wife now converged before his eyes into his daughter's face. "In Goa?"

"Yes!" Nadia replied just as quickly feeling disgusting and wanting to die watching her mother continuously purge violently into the toilet with every rapid question and answer confirming the horror.

"He put his hands on you? And was inside you?" Jack's rage was starting to build along with his disgust moving slowly out of shock and wanting blood.

"_Yes, yes, yes_! I'm sorry, Daddy!" Nadia wailed sitting back roughly and pulling her legs up to her chest curling into ball and leaning against the counter sobbing. "I'm so sorry!"

She pleaded while Jack rapidly replayed the conversation with the man at their table through his head; the comments about how Nadia was gorgeous and looked just like her mother with her smile and eyes and then to his comment about the children he wanted with Irina maybe coming as grandchildren he felt his stomach turn inside out with pieces rapidly clicking together as to why Irina was throwing up disgusted that the man slept with her daughter too, not only for that horrendous reason alone but noticed the pregnancy test box clenched violently in her hand and his eyes flashed to Nadia seeing her curled into the fetal position, that she was pregnant by him…creating the baby he wanted with Irina and he struggled to swallow his own vomit surging to the back of his throat.

"Start talking and fast." Jack ordered wanting to know the exact details before he went and ripped the man apart piece by piece with a murderous rage in his eyes for taking advantage of his sixteen year old daughter who'd never even been on a date and was now pregnant by a much older married man with children her own age.

Nadia inhaled a sharp breathe with face contorting staring at her mother holding her head in her hands over the toilet on temporary pause from throwing up knowing her description is what started it in the first place.

"_Jack, no!"_ Irina begged with tears in her eyes not wanting to hear this again.

"_Yes, damnit!_ I want to know exactly what happened to get her in this situation." His own eyes filled with tears knowing it wasn't easy on his wife but they needed details before they went after him, "Did he force himself on you?" His eyes flashed to wanting to know first and foremost if she was a willing participant and dreading both answers.

"No, he didn't." Nadia sobbed, shaking her head.

"Then details and fast as I'm about to explode," Jack's fists were turning white holding back his anger so tightly not wanting to scream at her.

"How detailed?" Nadia hiccupped gasping for breath, afraid of making her mother throw up again.

"Very." Jack deadpanned and Irina felt like she was being turned inside out, throwing up again.

Nadia bit back sob, "We were talking in the hall and having a conversation and he came in my room and we were still talking and then he kissed me and things got intense and he went around behind me and was kissing my neck and I felt that he was excited for me rubbing against me and then slid his hand down my stomach and into my suit," She sobbed spitting it all out in rapid breath wanting to get it over with quickly.

"Oh God-" Irina cried softly again with new tears closing her eyes.

"And when he touched me I felt all crazy and I didn't really know what to do with so many emotions and reactions I'd never had before and I wasn't thinking just feeling and he slid his fingers inside me and grabbed my breast under my top and I could hardly breath as he moved his fingers inside me and my legs started shaking and he kept kissing my neck and then pulled my suit bottoms down and I kicked them off and he held me against his chest with his arm while he pushed his own shorts down and turned us so I was against the wall and I was shaking so hard I could hardly stand and then he thrust inside me from behind and took my breath away and I screamed because he was so big and I wasn't ready," She sobbed shaking with terror and humiliation at repeating this and sobbed when her mother violently threw up again and her eyes flashed only for a moment to her father's to see if she had to keep going seeing how her mother was throwing up he nodded sharply with a glare and she quickly turned away, closing her eyes and kept going, "He asked me if I was okay and I said yes and he started moving and the pain wore off and he started rubbing me again between my legs and my senses just went crazy and he started moving really fast and I just lost control of everything and my knees buckled and I screamed again and everything went black and I couldn't catch my breath," She paused with face contorting in pain and eyes opening when Irina threw up again hearing about her first orgasm, "And he pulled out and pulled me back with him to my bed and laid me down gently and climbed over me and then thrust inside me again all the way really quickly stealing my breath again and started moving so fast I couldn't catch my breath but it didn't hurt," She sobbed in shame, "It felt good and I wanted to feel that loss of control again he'd just made me feel and so I started moving with him and I pushed on his shoulder to role him over onto his back and he held my hips and started moving me the way he liked and I figured it out and took over for a while he caressed my breasts…" She looked down not able to say this now while looking at her mother even if she wasn't looking at her, "And he laughed saying that I 'must like to be in control like my Mom-"

"Oh God-" Irina gasped in horror and then threw up continuously until she gagged.

Nadia was sobbing hysterically hardly able to catch her own breath, "And then rolled us again saying he wanted to make me lose control again and took over holding my hands above my head and I locked my legs around his waist and he was thrusting really hard and it was painful," She sobbed telling them everything hoping for some kind of redemption, "But felt good at the same time and I orgasm again and my muscles shook and then he thrust really hard and screamed and I felt him jerk inside me and then that was it…"

Irina threw up the last of her bile and started dry heaving with stomach muscles clenching so tightly her body jolted forcefully with every gag at the idea of him erupting inside her daughter.

"He kept going until he wasn't hard anymore and then pulled out and kissed me and said he had to go because his family was waiting," Her face contorted again hearing the anguished cry from her mother before gagging again, "And I only saw him once after that just before we left when we were all down by the pool that next morning."

Jack's rage had gone from black to white with blinding force hearing the details and then watching what it was doing to his wife.

"What were you thinking?" He asked in a strangled whisper with balled fist and hot tears in his eyes.

"I wasn't thinking! I tried to but what he was doing felt so good I just stopped thinking and went with feeling and I'm sorry! I'm so sorry if I could take it back I would but I can't!" Nadia wailed. "I've been ashamed ever since because I knew what this would do to you Mama and I'm so sorry! I am! I didn't plan on it, it just happened! And it was over really quickly and then he was gone and I hoped you'd never ever have to find out because I never want to hurt you but then my period didn't come and I got scared and waited another week and it still didn't come but I was too scared that this would happen so I didn't come to you!"

"Well, he got what he wanted or as close to it as he could," Jack sneered with disgust unable to comprehend what he'd just been told, "Your smile and eyes in the gorgeous image of you…and now a baby, too."

"No! I'm not pregnant!" Nadia's eyes widened and she cried, "It was negative! I'm not pregnant!" The answer seemed to steal her mother's breath in relief before she started crying again.

"Well, thank God for that one miracle," Jack sighed heavily and dug the ball of his hand into his eyes trying to scrub out the images. "I'm going to kill him… I'm going to rip him apart piece by piece." He seethed in anger.

"Daddy, no!" Nadia screamed with a sharp cry unfurling from her ball, "You can't kill him! He didn't force me and he didn't hurt me! You can't kill him! I'm not pregnant and it's fine we don't ever have to talk about him again or what happened just please don't kill him!"

"It's not fine!" Jack's voice boomed though he fought hard to keep it contained, "The man who was your mother's lover slept with our sixteen year old daughter and there is nothing fine about that!"

"_No!_" Nadia screamed with wide-eyes of horror realizing now what they were thinking and sobbing all over again, "_Not him! His son!_ Dubey, Junior! Oh my God! You thought I-" She could hardly speak so horrified seeing her parents faces whip to hers with wide eyes and blank faces losing color, "You thought I was talking about his father? Oh my God! No no nononono!" She shook her head sobbing and backing up away in horror.

"You said _Dubey!_" Jack's brows narrowed with a mass mixture of relief and confusion.

"Dubey, _yes!_ As in Vijay Dubey, _Junior_ but everyone calls him _Dubey!_" Nadia cried fisting her hands in her hair and curling into a ball again thinking about what they thought the entire time she recanted the story and realizing now why her mother screamed '_stop_' and the started throwing up, "Oh God, no!"

"So you never had sex with Dubey? _My_ Dubey?" Irina pointed to her chest asking rapidly and breathless staring at her daughter with hopeful bloodshot eyes.

"No, Mama! No! Never! I could never!" Nadia wailed shaking her head and Irina launched forward on top of her knocking them both backwards with arms wrapped around her lying on top of Nadia on the floor sobbing.

"Oh, thank you, God!" Irina cried with a hiccupping sob and then smiled, "Thank you thank you thank you!"

"You're not mad at me for sleeping with him?" Nadia sobbed lying beneath her mother, confused and horrified all at the same time.

"No! I'm not mad at you for sleeping with him! As long as it wasn't his father…that's all that matters!" Irina hugged her again threatening to squeeze the life out of her, "Thank you God! Thank you thank you thank you!"

She smiled with a relieved laugh and rolled over so that Nadia was lying top of her now on the space of the bathroom floor while Jack sat in shock and let his anger fade away finding himself in his own new form of horror that this entire time they were talking about two different people.

"I'm sorry, Mama I never meant for you to think I meant him! I knew his son would be bad enough!" Nadia cried with her head laying on Irina's chest feeling like a limp rag doll emotionally beat up, ripped apart and exhausted.

"Of course you didn't, Sweetheart it was just a misunderstanding…a horrible, horrible misunderstanding!" Irina kissed the top of her head and then let it fall back covering her burning eyes with her forearm trying to settle her heart.

"So I just humiliated myself and made you vomit for nothing?" Nadia sobbed and closed her eyes turning her face towards the counter and away from her father and mother.

"No, Sweetheart, I'm sorry…it wasn't your fault and it wasn't mine and nothing else matters as long as you're okay and didn't sleep with him and you have no reason to be humiliated or ashamed not at all." Irina stroked her hair with fresh tears in her eyes and kissed her head again.

"No reason? Mama, I just told you both the very vivid details of my first sexual encounter and yes I'm now very humiliated and embarrassed." Nadia cried softly and buried her face slightly against her mother's chest.

"You shouldn't be…" Irina spoke softly in her very motherly tone, "The only important thing is that we finally figured out we were talking about two different people and that's what's important. My entire life was put on film including sexual encounters, as were your father's… even the most humiliating moments of my life in Kashmir… completely exposing myself raw for all the world to see because I'm not ashamed of who I am and the entire story is what was important…if my humiliation turned strength could somehow help someone else to feel unashamed of themselves then its worth it." She reached up wiping the tear trail falling into her hair, "You have no reason to be ashamed of anything you did or who you are. I'm not ashamed of you. I love you very, very much…"

"Neither am I." Jack added softly with his own tears falling staring at the two feeling his own guilt for forcing the details out of Nadia and yet proud she gave them in spite of how horrendous it had to be. He didn't want her ashamed of herself and hearing Irina speaking of overcoming her own self shame over what happened in Kashmir made his heart skip a beat as it did every time knowing what a battle that was. "I'm sorry too, Firecracker…and you have no reason to be ashamed as your mother said. I'm not mad at you either and I'm sorry everything got so messed up…we both just love you so very much we were scared for you." He pushed off the floor and moved forward on his knees, kissing her head when she still wouldn't' look at him. "It's okay." He added softly, and it was to him because he realized that as long as it wasn't the worst-case scenario of her being impregnated by Dubey Senior, nothing else really mattered anymore.

Nadia remained still and silent for a moment before pushing off her mother suddenly and out of her arms forcing Jack back as well, "I'm going to lay down…my head is pounding and I am sorry…more then you'll ever know." She bit her lip to keep from crying and dashed out of the bathroom.

Jack stood and extended his hand to Irina pulling her up and then into his arms and kissing her forehead. Her hands slid up his back and they rested their foreheads together for a moment in silence with silent tears, just holding each other having a conversation without words by letting their hearts pressed together do the talking.

"I need to go talk to her…find out why she thought she'd hurt me so much by sleeping with Junior… that's why she didn't tell me in the first place. I need to make sure she understands I'm not upset with her." Irina sighed speaking with head down still resting against Jack's. "I don't want her to be ashamed."

"I don't either." Jack inhaled a deep breath speaking in a whisper, "My God raising teenagers is tough…I thought trying to keep an eye on Sydney when she was a spy was going to kill me but…sneaking out, rumors, fist fights, sex, pregnancy scares," He shook his head, "I'll be lucky if I make it out of these years still sane!"

"Only three more years of teenagers left…we can do it. And I really don't want to speed it up, at all, as they're already growing up way too fast for my liking." Irina wiped at her tears and looked up at him.

"Mine too." Jack gave her a soft smile and then kissed her lips, "See that's how much I love you…that I can kiss you just after your were vomiting." He laughed softly getting one from her too, "You clean up and go talk to her and I'll get you something to eat, your test kit and insulin as I know you're numbers and body were just thrown wildly out of control."

"Thank you." She smiled and watched him go before cleaning herself up, brushing her teeth and changing her shirt.

Irina knocked softly on Nadia's door and her heart sank when her daughter didn't answer. "Nadia…I'm coming in." She said softly giving warning and then walking into the room.

Nadia was lying on her stomach in her bed with arms stuffed under her pillow and face turned away from the door, eyes closed hearing her mother enter and silent tears running silvery streams down her cheeks.

"Sweetheart," Irina approached her quietly and slid onto the bed rolling her arm over her and kissing the space between Nadia's shoulder blades and then her head. She threaded her arm over Nadia and under her arm to join Nadia's arms under the pillow with her own; wrapping her hands around her wrists and cocooning herself over her daughter with her torso. "Talk to me…please."

"What is there left to say? I told you ever single gritty detail and there is nothing left to say…" Nadia answered quietly, "I felt dirty before…now I just feel disgusting…not your fault but my own. I should have said it was Junior… I guess I just never thought you'd think it was his father…but I can see now I guess…why you did."

"Why do you feel dirty and disgusting?" Irina asked with falling tears in a quiet voice, hating to hear such a thing come from her daughter's mouth knowing how that felt to think of yourself that way.

"Because I am. First, because I just slept with him…some guy I was having fun with and attracted to and not my boyfriend who meant something to me like with Lena and Antony…I just got caught up in the moment and wasn't thinking and then just didn't care but I hated myself the moment it was over thinking about you and how disappointed you'd be in me and hurt that it was Dubey…the son of your Dubey."

She cried softly staring at the picture of she and her mother together on the island in Fiji when she was little, just after they'd saved her from being kidnapped. They looked so happy it was killing her now that she couldn't stand having her mother touching her right now she felt so dirty, she didn't want to taint her.

"And now I'm just disgusting because you thought I was talking about his father throughout everything I told you…every detail… and it makes me sick to even think about or imagine him doing what I was describing… so I can understand why you did get sick… so disgusting that I reviled you so much that you threw up again when I just touched you." She tried to hold back her sob and failed, "And its making me sick to my stomach that you're even touching me now because I'm so repulsive in what I've done as to make you that physically ill… I don't want to taint you with my sins." She tried to slink out from under her mother's hold but Irina held fast.

The tears running from Irina's eyes were horrified and raging to hear all that she had said and especially that her touch was now making her daughter ill, "Taint me with your sins?" She repeated with an air of disbelief, "You don't have any sins! It was I, who was the one feeling repulsive, and not wanting you to touch me to taint 'you' any further because I brought the man into your life! That's the thought that made me sick! Not you! Never you! I was horrified that it was my sins that brought this on you thinking it was his father You're not dirty or disgusting in anyway and I never ever thought you were for a second!"

"Just him, right? When you were thinking it was your Dubey? But his dirty and disgusting son was inside me with hands on me, so that did taint me and made me just as disgusting!" Nadia cried still trying to pull away.

"Nadia, no! I don't think of him as dirty and disgusting! Nor do I think of you that way!" Irina held tightly with tears dripping into her daughter's long hair, "If you actually believe that… that you'd be tainted by his theoretical dirty and disgusting, then you must think I'm dirty and disgusting and I can see why you don't want me to touch you then… as I've had thousands of real dirty and disgusting in me…" Her mind flashed to Kashmir and Cuvee with a quivering voice trying to make a point but wavering in battle thinking about Nadia disgusted by her touch, "And over me touching me, in my life… tainting me… making me so repulsive to the touch, that I make you sick?" She let go of Nadia, leaving her free to get up and away from her if she chose to.

"No, Mama! That's not what I'm saying!" Nadia cried at the loss of touch both wanting it and despising it at the same time she turned her head to look at her mother who'd gotten up to give her space, not liking at all that Nadia was thinking this about herself.

"That is exactly what you're saying." Irina let the tears fall without pause. "That you'd be tainted and made dirty if you were touched by a dirty and disgusting man… Well, I was! So according to your logic I am tainted and dirty too!"

"No, Mama! Not you!" Nadia pushed herself up into a sitting position while Irina paced, not really knowing how to have this conversation and get her daughter to not feel this way, when she herself struggled with it for decades. "It wasn't your fault, what happened to you! But I chose to, Mama! I chose to act in the heat of the moment and have meaningless sex with someone I, hardly knew not someone I loved or who meant anything! That's why I'm dirty! You're not! I am!"

"No you're not!" Irina raced forward closing the space rapidly and cupping her daughter's teary face making her look her in the eye, "Just because you had sex with someone in the heat of the moment whom you hardly knew does not make you dirty! I know why you feel this way! I do! Because I did for years every time I slept with someone who wasn't your father after being with him for so many years and knowing what it was like to make love… but it didn't make me dirty having sex and it took me a long time to see that! It was shame that made me feel that way! Shame because I'd allowed myself to take pleasure for a while in someone who wasn't the one I loved! But it didn't make me dirty!" She let go of her face and took a step back wiping at her tears. "There is a difference between making love and having sex." She began again in a softer tone, taking a deep breath. "Neither makes you dirty it's just the intent behind them. Sex is about getting pleasure and only pleasure and making love is about pleasuring the other person to show how much you love them. The last time I made love was to your father before my extraction and the first time I made love again in twenty-two years was with your father when we conceived your sister and in all those years between I was having sex, not making love!"

"I know..." Nadia cried softly.

"Sex for pleasure and sex for temporary comfort in the oblivion of another and sex for self-inflicted pain in what was left of my heart for some twisted horrible way as a form of self-loathing and punishment because I felt dirty and tainted after Kashmir being gang raped, yes…but mostly from the fact that I willingly 'gave' myself to them in the end! They didn't have to force themselves on me! I just gave in and that was where the most self-hatred came from! The shame! You know what happened with Dubey and I… the first time we ever had sex was in Goa and I wasn't thinking either just chose to act and respond in the heat of the moment to have meaningless sex with a man I hardly knew because I wanted to! He was attractive and he wanted me and so I just went with it… desire… I wanted that pleasure and that release! I hated myself after but then again when we were in the same situation it was like I turned my brain and heart off and just went with it! I'd take the pleasure in that moment and loathe myself later…"

"But it was my first time, Mama! My first day being able to date and I just let the first guy who turned me on and who I turned on take my virginity!" Nadia shook her head.

"That doesn't make you dirty! So you had sex in the heat of the moment and took pleasure in it?" Irina shrugged holding her hands up and letting them fall shaking her own head with hot tears, "There's nothing wrong with that. You didn't make love your first time out… it was sex and it doesn't make you dirty. You'll still have your first time of making love and it doesn't make you any less respectable or dirty because you didn't on your first time! Most people's first time is just sex including your father, and sister Sydney and Aunt Katya and cousin Sophia and more… it's okay. There is nothing wrong with it as long as it was enjoyable to you! That's all that matters. That you go away with a positive experience!"

"But you told Lena you were proud of her for telling Parker 'no' and waiting to make it special and she did with Antony! But I just jumped right instead of waiting for someone I cared about and someone I loved and had meaningless sex for pleasure!" Nadia waved her hand around indicating it meant nothing while she cried.

"Yes I was proud of your sister in telling Parker 'no' and waiting because I knew she was in love with Antony and that if she had sex with Parker it would be an attempt to try and 'forget' about her feelings for Antony or make them go away! And I made that mistake!" Irina pointed to herself with her fingers roughly trying to calm her breathing and failing, "I learned the heartbreaking lesson from that in trying to have sex with others to forget my love for your father and try to make it go away and I was ashamed of myself for a very long time and still am to a degree! Not that I had sex or took comfort in the arms of another at times but that I even 'tried' to forget your father by having sex! That I tried to forget him is what shamed me because I saw it as my weakness!" She shook her head wiping at the falling tears, "I didn't want her to carry around the same shame for doing something with Parker or someone else by trying to forget Antony! And just because you had sex instead of making love doesn't make you any less in my eyes! You're not the same as your sister and you weren't in the same situations! You didn't have sex with Junior to try and forget about a guy that you loved!"

She softened her voice with a sigh and a small smile, "You just had sex because you wanted to! It was with someone you found attractive, desired and had fun with it and enjoyed it. That's okay! You're making it dirty and disgusting in your mind by comparing them! Don't do that!" Irina shook her head sharply with narrowed brows, "You're sisters but you're different girls! You're different daughters! And you both were under different circumstances, of which both, I can relate to! I'm not ashamed of you! I love you and it breaks my heart that you think you're somehow dirty because you had sex on your first time out… You're not, Nadia! You're not dirty or disgusting in anyway!" She closed the distance again and knelt down on her haunches in front of Nadia on the bed to look at her more closely trying to convince her and knowing from the look in her daughter's eyes, it wasn't working.

"I told you both all the details and you threw up! You kept throwing up! I did that to you! Describing my sexual encounter was so vile to you it made you sick!" Nadia would never get that image out of her mind or the pain in her heart that she had caused that reaction.

"No! Not you!" Irina shook her head rapidly with new blinding tears feeling like she wasn't getting anywhere and knowing why. Her daughter had solidly condemned herself into feeling dirty in self-loathing and she was partly to blame because of uncontrollable actions in a horrendous misunderstanding.

"My actions, Mama! That's the same thing!" Nadia cried back and a shiver went through with disgust.

"No! It's not the same thing!" Irina shot back just as quickly with rising voice of desperate emotion, "It wasn't your actions at all! It was what I thought 'he' was doing that was making me sick and I'm sorry, so sorry that everything got so mixed up! But it was never you or your actions! Never!"

She reached out and placed her hand on Nadia's leg and her heart broke seeing her daughter pull it back and curl up not wanting to be touched at all, "I thought you were talking about someone entirely differently and 'the someone' I was thinking of in that situation made me sick, not you! If you'd told me all of that and I knew that you were speaking of Junior or anyone else other then someone I've slept with…I would never have reacted that way! It wasn't you!" She cried that everything had gone so terribly wrong and the damage was done and no way to go back and fix it.

"Your actions were fine and so were his now that I know it wasn't his father! You both made the choice and if he didn't force you and you enjoyed it then its fine. It's your business and I'm so sorry that you had to tell all the details because of the mix up and I know that wasn't easy for you. It wasn't easy for me or your father when we had to show all of the details of ours either…but it was important that we did and I'm not ashamed of it and you shouldn't be either!" Irina was pleading with searching eyes, "Why were you so afraid to come to me in the beginning? Why did you think you'd hurt me if I knew you'd slept with Junior? Or that you were scared you were pregnant?"

"Because I'd slept with him on my first night! I was afraid you'd be disappointed in me and I was scared to hurt you knowing who his father was to you and that I somehow betrayed you by having sex with his son when I knew what the relationship with his father meant to you and represented in your life and I was ashamed that I did! That I got so caught up in my own thoughts and wants that I didn't stop to think about you or what this might all do to you or even stop to think about protection which then led to me believing I was pregnant and I really couldn't come to you then!"

Nadia shook her head and looked away sobbing and then holding it back and speaking in a rush again, "Because my fears of hurting you more then I could ever have imagined were realized that if I was pregnant with his baby that meant you'd have to share a grandchild with the man who was your lover and who wanted to have babies with you but you wouldn't… and then you'd have to spend holidays and birthdays with him and be around him a lot and I know that would be terribly painful for you and Daddy because it hurts you both to be around him reminding you of everything that happened…"

She sobbed with a hiccup, rambling on getting out the rest of the story while Irina's heart was breaking once more listening to the reasons and rivers of tears coursing down her cheeks in silence.

"And I just thought that I'd not tell you I slept with him and then you wouldn't be hurt and you wouldn't have to tell Daddy who I know would go completely crazy with the thought of his daughter sleeping with Dubey's son and that I'd tell you in ten or twenty years when I was married with kids and it didn't matter anymore and it wouldn't cause problems for you or Daddy or him with me because I'd be married and have kids by then and who I had sex with when I was sixteen wouldn't really matter!" She gasped in a rush throwing her arms up in the air. "I told Lena right away and she said that I shouldn't tell you either, agreeing that it would hurt you and Daddy and said I should never tell anyone and we'd keep it between us but then I thought I was pregnant and neither one of us could buy a pregnancy test without alerting the media so we called Sydney and told her and she freaked out saying the same things I was scared about already about 'do you have any idea about what this is going to do to Mom and Dad to have to share a grandchild with Dubey? And be around him all the time when they both can't stand it?" She had changed her voice slightly to sound scornful like Sydney and then sobbed.

"And then we all got into a fight about not telling her in the first place… but we didn't tell her I slept with Junior because we didn't want her to have to lie to you about it knowing that she hates to do that too and after Daddy's reaction about lying and keeping things from you and him to Lena about Parker and to Sydney for knowing and not telling you right away we didn't want her to get hurt that way either!"

Nadia babbled and Irina's heart was pounding listening to the cause and effect of past missteps in parenting that lead in part to this one with their girls fearing the outcome because of the past judgments and assumptions made with Lena and Sydney and all them trying to protect each other and their parents as it seemed to be the theme in the family that was amazing and yet led to heartbreak at times too. A family of big hearts literally and figuratively that were always in the right places with intentions they just got muddled in the follow through at times with not all hearts agreeing because everyone was trying to protect someone else and in doing so caused a domino effect.

"And we knew it would be painful for her too because she had to witness the fallout of Jakarta with the man and you and Daddy already," Nadia went on while new tears continuously poured from her mother's eyes, "And we didn't' want to hurt her either but we needed her help and were scared and didn't know what to do so we called her and she came over and she got me the test and I took and it was negative and she said it wasn't her place or Lena's to tell you and Daddy but a decision I had to make on my own but they'd support me in anyway they could if I needed it."

She sniffled and Irina had to smile that her girls were there for each other as sisters should be and at least they had each other when they didn't have her or at least, didn't feel like they could come to her…they still had each other.

"But I'm so ashamed of it, I knew I could never tell you and have hated myself since because I can't stand keeping anything from you for very long and this was going to be something I had to keep for a long time and it was eating at me and I just didn't know what to do! I'm sorry, Mama! I'm sorry I slept with him, I'm sorry I was stupid enough not to use anything and I'm sorry for hurting you and making you sick, I'm sorry! There is never going to be a way to show you how sorry I am all this happened! And I'm so ashamed and sorry to disappoint you…I'm sorry." Nadia wiped at her eyes refusing to look at Irina with the shame and Irina once again tilted her face up to look into her swimming dark pools.

"I've never ever been disappointed in you a day of your life and I'm not now." Irina gave her a small smile, "The only thing that concerned me is that you didn't use any protection but I know you were caught up in the moment and weren't thinking and its okay that you made a mistake but I hope that you learned from it and will be more careful from now on. I'll take you just like I took Lena to get something so you're protected and don't have to be in this kind of position anymore. It's nothing to be ashamed over. You got caught up, you didn't think…I've been there, I know, and it only does take 'once." She smiled softly with new falling tears, "Your sister Lena is a prime example of that."

'Well not really,' her mind suddenly thought about 'how many' times during that 'one night' they actually…. 'Back on track,' She snapped her thoughts back in line.

"We were caught up and never in a million years thought that one night together after twenty-two years apart would result in a baby, but it did." Her voice was soft and she couldn't help but smile thinking about that little miracle, "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart that you thought you couldn't come to me and tell me who it was and that you've been scared to death the last couple of weeks on your own thinking you might be pregnant. I'm glad that you were able to call on your sisters when you didn't think you could come to me. I understand why you thought you couldn't come to me, and there is no point in going over the 'what ifs' if you had…because it won't make a difference now, but Sweetheart…"

She thumbed away Nadia's tears, "You will always be my first and foremost priority and your safety, health and happiness will always go above my own… because you are my child and I love you more then you could possibly imagine. I love that you have such an amazing heart and your sisters too, that you wanted to protect me from something you thought would hurt me, or your father, but if it hurts you in the process…I can't stand that. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt in anyway because of me."

She inhaled a deep breath and let it go feeling a bit light headed now, "Promise me that in the future, no matter how much you think something might hurt me, you'll come to me and tell me? I can't promise that I won't be hurt but I can promise I'll find a way to work past it and be there for you. It's my responsibility as a parent and one that I want. Even in this horrendous mix up, thinking the wrong thing, I was terribly upset and hurt, yes, at my failures not yours…but I would have worked past it and been there for you in every single way I could and love you none-the-less or your child because they are a part of you…and me too. Another piece of my heart and I'd love that baby no matter what." She gave her a soft smile and used the backs of her fingers to brush away the tears on Nadia's cheeks. "I love you. I will never be ashamed of you or disappointed in you and I hope that you please come to me in the future, no matter what…we'll work through it together, okay?" She moved her hand to Nadia's leg teetering slightly and needing to balance herself.

"Mama, you're as white as a ghost and your lips are turning blue." Nadia's eyes widened having never before seen her mother like this.

"I'll be okay, but did you hear what I said?" Irina took another deep breath knowing that she was probably incredibly low on blood sugar right now after so much vomiting, "Promise me please, Sweetheart that you won't ever hold anything back from me on the sole reason you think it might hurt me?"

Jack knocked on the door and gave a minute of pause before entering, "I'm sorry to interrupt but I waited as long as I could and Irina, you need to check your insulin levels now and it can't wait any longer."

"She looks like a ghost with blue lips…" Nadia's head whipped to her father's thankful he was there.

Jack's brows narrowed considerably taking a closer look at his wife walking towards her and handing her the stuff with a glass of orange juice.

"I'm fine, Jack. Thank you for bringing it to me and I'll take care of it but we're not finished here." Irina answered with a smile and then turned back to Nadia, still waiting for her answer. With the lightheadedness she took a long sip of juice already knowing from years of dealing with this, that she was low and stopped a black out before it happened so she could stay conscious for the answer and to give herself insulin.

Jack paused for a moment watching her drink and then set it aside immediately pricking her finger to read her levels but mostly her eyes were focused on Nadia, gauging her reaction to whatever they'd been talking about apparently. When it seemed Irina was okay he quietly closed the door and let them finish.

"Nadia," Irina addressed her filling a syringe and flicking it, "You haven't answered my question?" She lifted her shirt and slid the needle into her abs knowing it was the location for the fastest absorption into her body.

Nadia's gaze was transfixed on her mother and the needle that slid into her stomach with her mind circling the thought of, '_I caused this._' Misunderstanding or not… she had the power to make her mother physically ill. To hurt her so deeply, inadvertently or not, in a way as to cause her body to be so out of control that she needed to inject herself in an emergency or risk unconsciousness. Nadia swore to herself after the first time she learned the truth after watching the films the first time, talking with her parents and Sydney and the others involved, and seeing it for herself… that she'd never put her mother into a situation where she'd be caused harm knowing her mother would do anything to protect her at expense to herself.

"Sweetheart, please," Irina removed the needle and set everything aside, leaning forward on her knees seeing Nadia in a daze, "Promise me that you'll come to me even if you think it might hurt me? That's not your burden to bear… we'll work through whatever it is just, please, Nadia… promise?"

"Promise." Nadia responded in a whisper with eyes still in daze and swallowed hard, having never been more ashamed of her actions in all her life.

Ashamed of everything: ashamed that she slept with him to begin with, that she never told her mother, that she'd kept it from Sydney and upset her, that she messed up in telling her mother and caused the horrid sequence of events that made her physically ill, that she'd recounted in great detail what happened to her mother and especially to her father whom she knew couldn't stand the thought of his daughters having sex anyway… everything. She'd never hated herself more then did now. Her mother may not have been disappointed in her, but she was disappointed in herself. What she'd done could never be taken back and it would stay with her forever.

"Thank you," Irina answered softly searching her daughter's eyes and new tears formed at what she still saw, "You're not dirty, or tainted or disgusting, Nadia… you're human. I love you…forever and always, I love you. You're a beautiful person and I'm proud that you're my daughter." She cried softly reaching to pull Nadia into her arms to hold her; horrified because she knew in her heart and soul; there was no way to make Nadia 'not' feel that way. Feeling unworthy and dirty from shame was something that couldn't be told or convinced upon the person, they just had to change that feeling inside them on their own and terrified knowing just how deeply that it can affect your life and change who you are and what you do because of the way you feel about yourself. This was a road she never wanted her daughter walking on and now there was no way to pull her off.

Irina folded herself into Jack's arms in their bedroom after shutting the door and buried her face with the silent tears returning.

"We have a serious problem. Major damage has been done and this won't be fixed by apologies and explanations and telling her she's worthy and we love her. She feels tainted now…dirty and disgusting because of what happened and this major fallout." She cried and Jack swallowed hard with narrowing eyebrows trying to follow along as she spoke rapidly, "She's started down a dangerous path of self-loathing and there is no way we can pull her off it. I know because I was there and I'm terrified because I was there for decades! Only she can change it… she doesn't feel like she's worthy anymore. She's ashamed of what she did and is transferring that into 'who' she is… I know what that does." She added softly clinging to him more tightly.

'_So do I._' Jack silently agreed with a feeling of dread and fear, "What do we do?"

"Keep telling her repeatedly that we love. That we're not ashamed of her and she shouldn't be either… that she's worthy… and that's all we can do. We can't make her change her perception of who she feels she is now…" She choked back a small sob, "God, why does this have to be so messed up? I never expected all the drama and heartache in our lives to just magically disappear when we left the world we were in and those people behind but I wanted better for our children. I never wanted them to know pain and shame and feelings like this or have to go through anything like this."


	54. Chapter 54

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Numb by Portishead, Breathe Me (Mylo Remix) **_**by Sia**_**, Inferno **_**by Michael Giacchino**_**, PM's Love Theme **_**by Craig Armstrong**_**, Olympic Fanfare and Theme **_**by John Williams**_**, O Fortuna **_**by Russian Red Army Choi****r**_**, Myth, Power, Beauty **_**by Nick Glennie-Smith from Secretariart Soundtrack**

* * *

FIFTY-FOUR

o

Upon their return to Russia, Nadia threw herself completely into training for the Olympics and when she wasn't in class she was at the gym, spending as little time as possible at home. She'd isolated herself, and found her purpose and drive in finding 'perfection' in the one thing she could do right, gymnastics.

Again and again she'd do something over and over until she had it nailed, getting angry at times when her coach, Nadia, would call it quits at after midnight seeing Nadia's burning determination and obsession with perfection grow to unhealthy levels, greatly concerned and worried for her physical health as well as mental seeing the emotional storm lurking in her big brown eyes and having no idea where it came from. She tried to get her to talk to her and Nadia would only respond with, "I'm fine. I'm just determined to get this right and seek perfection."

When Nadia, her coach replied with, "No one is perfect. Perfection is ideal most often unattainable." Because of her great concern for Nadia, seeing her beautiful flawless performance in the gym again and again and was 'still' not good enough in the young woman's eyes; Nadia narrowed her brows slightly looking at her coach with a slight tilt in her head finding it odd to hear such a thing coming from the world's greatest gymnast.

"But you did. You were the perfect gymnast, obtaining perfect marks."

Her coach sighed with a heavy heart, "Everyone's version of 'perfect' is different. You're already better then I ever was. I was still perfect in my performance, yes. But your performance is even 'more' perfect…d o you understand what I'm trying to say? That there will always be someone else out there whose version of 'perfect' is better or different then your own?"

Nadia then of course responded with, "Well, then I'm going to be the most perfect form of perfection I can be in my own definition."

The famous Romanian gymnast cupped her face and stare deeply into her eyes for a long moment, finally asking, "Are you even having fun anymore?"

"It's the only thing I do now, that is fun." Her answer was both a relief and concern for her coaches, happy to hear she was having fun and concerned that she'd said 'only' thing she did that was fun now.

They finally compromised and set an iron clad schedule of hours that began in the gym at 4 AM in the morning until 7 AM and then Nadia would go to school, get out at 2 PM, take an hour to eat and rest and then start the late practice at 3PM that went no later then 9 PM, not a minute over until she was finished with school and graduated.

Once that happened and her days were open, they couldn't get the girl out of the gym. Where Irina had thrown herself into running going through the same thing, Nadia's outlet was gymnastics. Her trainings ethics very much reminded Irina of those implemented on the Soviet athletes who were made to become machines with the sport they were in their only purpose in life and it scared her, to see that drive in her daughter that she apparently inherited from her mother.

Jack and Irina both tried to get her to ease up but there was little they could do now that by all technical definitions, Nadia was an adult and they couldn't physically make her stop practicing and at this point, threatening her or reprimanding her for doing such would only cause more harm. There were two who could do something though, Nadia and Olga, her wonderful coaches, finally did something after Nadia's first two weeks after graduation, she would be in the gym from 4 AM until 10 PM. They put a strict cap on the amount of hours she was allowed to practice a week nine hours a day maximum, five days a week and that included her time off the apparatuses and mats and in the weight room and running. Nadia was fine with that and found a way to still stay at the gym instead of being home by helping teach the younger gymnasts and the beginners who were just tumblers being toddlers.

Irina's heart was breaking feeling the drastic change in her relationship with her daughter and seeing her relationships with just about everyone else change to a degree as well. Nadia's personality had seemed to shift. Instead of being the always happy, smile on her face and laughing girl who was always outgoing and adventurous in everything she did, had become the quiet one who on rare occasions they'd engage in a conversation more then a few sentences long, her normally larger then life personality and smile had become introverted and every now and then they were lucky enough to get a shy tight smile from her.

Jack could hardly stand it too, his Firecracker it seemed had lost her spark and he couldn't help but feeling guilty for his part in it. Spending hours thinking about his reaction to her having sex, not just that day it all went wrong but his stance on it all the way up to that point that had been so ingrained into his girls they'd go to drastic lengths to keep him from finding out and risk his 'disappointment.' That he'd be ashamed of them because he'd made it seem so 'dirty' to have sex.

It wasn't intentional that he'd meant them to feel that way that, that was the way he felt about it, but that was the way it was being perceived by them… and in doing so, managed to make his youngest feel 'dirty' for what she'd done just by having sex. He knew that there was more to it then that, that it was more then him that led to the drastic change in Nadia but he also recognized his part in it and it changed his views on the subject entirely. He had made is sound like having sex was dirty and somehow made them dirty for engaging in it by his overreacting on the subject… even with Sydney who was a grown woman with teenage children of her own.

Irina, he knew, was open on the subject and had been able to talk to them but now, even that wasn't an outlet or option because they feared how his reaction to what they told their mother would effect them. It was a domino effect that was messy and real and there was no easy quick fix no matter how much he wished it.

She seemed to have a much easier time with her siblings and friends, acting more of herself they'd seen and 'heard' about but when either of her parents were around, she'd withdraw. Irina went to bed on more then one occasion crying or with tears in her eyes that she couldn't help her no matter how hard she tried, Nadia saw herself as dirty and tainted and it seemed, 'still' felt like her presence was unworthy of them she was so ashamed of herself. She hated to be touched now and when Irina or Jack would hug her, she wouldn't push them away but she wouldn't return it, she'd go still as stone beneath them and maybe pat them softly with one hand, not the 'almost knock you over' bear hugs they used to get.

Nadia had still maintained her 'rule' that no one was allowed to come watch her practice wanting them to see it when she performed it for everyone else, something she'd demanded since she was little but when Irina heard from her coaches after talking to them of her concern for more then the first time, that Nadia had actually started smiling and laughing, had 'seemed to come to life' since starting to teach the younger kids while at the gym…she couldn't stand to stay away, so desperate to see a full smile on her daughter's face she hadn't seen in months.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia -June 2020_

Irina had come unannounced to the gym wanting to 'see' Nadia in action when she was away from her family, without knowing their eyes were on her and couldn't stop the smile or the tears in her eyes when she watched Nadia finishing with her class of little gymnasts.

The smile on her face was radiant and her laughter filled the massive space mixed in with that of little girls as they all did their little 'practice is over' dance and she gave each and every little girl a hug and a kiss…the bear hug that lifted them off the ground and made them laugh when she wiggled them from side to side.

**_*Numb (v2)*_**

The little girls said their goodbyes and rushed away from the bars to grab their stuff and meet their parents all starting to congregate in the entry to pick them up and more than a few gave Irina radiant smiles of surprise to see the Tsar in the gym for the first time having seen her only at competitions or exhibitions previously.

Nadia remained on the mat, using a remote to turn on her own practice music as she always did to be able to perform with the loud noise and various music selections going on from the Floor Dance while performing on the rest of the apparatuses. Her demeanor seemed to change almost instantaneously with the kids gone and Irina watched while her daughter still hadn't noticed her presence across the gym.

The lyrics of the song were quite telling as to Nadia's mind set and Irina's eyes fought furiously to blink back tears watching her daughter finish taping her hands and wrists and then flip herself up onto the high bar of the Uneven Bars and start warming up, flipping and swinging around slowly gradually getting faster until she was into her routine.

Irina was holding her breath watching with pride to see how amazing her daughter was doing some maneuvers she'd never before seen that were instantly breathtaking. All the sudden Nadia seemed to slow down and then just came to a stop, hanging on the bar for a moment and flipping backwards off. One hand on hip and the other wiping the stray hair from her ponytail off her face and behind her ear as she stared at the ground with her back to Irina, in thought apparently and then moved to start over. She bounced back up onto the bar slowly and it was then her gaze caught sight of Irina standing in the entryway on the other side of the gym watching her.

Nadia immediately ceased in her routine and dropped facing her mother and swallowing hard.

"Don't stop on my account. Please… go ahead and finish. I can wait." Irina gave her a small smile when her daughter walked across the mats towards her.

"What are you doing here, Mama?" Nadia asked softly with questioning gaze completely ignoring Irina's suggestion to continue and she'd wait.

"I wanted to steal you away for a while to see if you'd like to have lunch with me. Just the two of us. I feel like we don't ever get to see each other that much these days… I miss you, Nadia." Irina smiled softly trying desperately to keep her tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I can't. I haven't practiced yet today working with the kids all morning and I need to practice." Nadia shook her head softly and looked down avoiding her mother in a new familiar dance that broke both their hearts and only continued to shame her more seeing the tears her mother was trying to hold back.

"I don't think you need the practice, Sweetheart… you looked amazing out there-"

"It's not finished. That was terrible and I have a lot of work to do to make it perfect." Nadia immediately interjected uncomfortable with the thought she'd seen her practicing her routine. "I'm sorry, I can't go to lunch with you, Mama." She added quickly, leaning forward and kissed Irina's cheek rapidly with the barest of touches and then started walking back towards the bars. "I'll see you at home." She called over her shoulder.

"I have to go to Moscow later this afternoon… overnight with Lena for some official Olympic business in preparation for the games." Irina called out, knowing she wouldn't see her daughter later that evening, and even if she were home, Nadia would eat dinner with them and then disappear into her room or somewhere else. "I won't be home… I was going to ask that you please come with us."

"Am I officially required to be there?" Nadia paused in the middle of the mats asking in a quiet voice.

"No." Irina answered softly shaking her head, "Lena has to be there as the last torch barer…there are some things she has to do, people she needs to speak with in preparation for that and I have some business as well. You aren't required to be there."

"Well, it sounds like it's an important trip for the two of you and I'm not really necessary as the spare and not the heir, so… I think I'm going to pass because I have so much to prepare for, but I hope the two of you have fun." She gave a small tight-lipped smile and started to turn.

"_Spare?_" Irina choked out with narrowing eyebrows and welling tears hearing her child describe herself as such.

"Don't get me wrong." Nadia shook her head softly and turned back to face her, "I don't mind being the spare and not the heir, Mama… really it's fine. Great actually, I get all the perks without the responsibility Lena has… I know my place in our family."

"I don't think you do." Irina held back a cry, hearing exactly how much her daughter really did value herself so little. Seeing it in her eyes. "You underestimate your worth and what you really mean to our family… _to me_. You're not a '_spare_'… you're _my Nadia_! You're not an 'extra' that isn't really needed because your sister is heir… _I need you_." Her voice was borderline pleading in this quiet conversation.

"Mama… really it's okay. I'm not jealous of Lena or wishing I were her; or the heir at all…I don't envy her that title and the responsibility and I think she's the perfect one…for it. She's the best daughter for the job and I'm proud of her." She gave another small smile to pacify her mother.

Irina noticed how she responded with deflection concentrating on how she felt about Lena instead of responding to what her mother had said about her own worth.

"Nadia, what have I done? Talk to me please. You're not an 'extra'… you're not worthless… you're my daughter and, I love you." Irina wanted to know why it was her that her daughter seemed to pull the furthest away from her and was desperate to fix it in anyway she could but knew in her heart there was no way… she could feel it because she could feel what Nadia's heart was feeling, see it in her eyes. For some reason, Nadia really believed she was unworthy of her mother and it horrified Irina to know that she could ever feel that way. That she'd set some kind of a bar of what a '_worthy_' daughter was in her own mind and wasn't measuring up to in some way.

**_*Breathe Me*_**

"You haven't done anything, Mama… don't worry. I'm fine… and I love you, too." She added softly with another soft smile, "Have fun with Lena in Moscow." She gave a soft nod and spun around walking back to the apparatus ending the conversation.

Irina stood there and waited with tears finally slipping from her eyes in silent streams watching her walk away in deflection again and trying to 'escape' her mother's presence.

Nadia turned on the lower bar with hands set waiting to mount staring across the gym and refusing to begin while her mother was still there with her own tears in her eyes that Irina couldn't see as she fought to keep them back.

"I love you… to the moon and back, more than the stars in the heavens and grains of sand on Earth, Nadia… forever and always… never forget that." Irina called out across the vast space before turning on her heel and leaving seeing her daughter wouldn't move until she left.

Nadia's tears finally fell as she swung herself up onto the bar and started her routine, the silent tears turning to sobs as she swung around and then finally dropped, feet to knees with head dropped against her chest in shame with heels of her hands against her eyes. She hadn't heard the footsteps so gentle in their grace that slowly walked over to her and knelt down beside her, and then pulled her into her arms to hold her.

"Nadia…" Her beautiful coach asked softly with tears in her eyes, having caught the end of Irina and her daughter's conversation and then watched Nadia start her routine and start crying and then drop. She had tears in her own eyes as Nadia didn't try to push her away and instead turned and hugged her, to her surprise while continuing to cry.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? What's going on? This isn't good for you… this stress. You can tell me anything; you know that… you have my complete confidence from everyone! I've known you for half your life and I can't stand to see you this upset. What happened with your mother to change things so dramatically? What did she do?"

"She didn't do anything." Nadia cried softly, "I did."

"What? What did you do?" She held Nadia more tightly with concern flooding her eyes; wanting to know what could be so bad in the last months as to change everything.

"I did something that almost would have hurt her for the rest of her life… and my father… because I was stupid and wasn't thinking!" Nadia shook her head softly and pulled away wiping at her tears.

"You did something that '_almost_' would have? Sweetheart, you have to explain more... I don't understand." Her coach pressed on.

"In India, I slept with Dubey and thought I was pregnant and if I was… she was going to have to deal with that, and my father, forever…" Nadia cried shaking her head and missing her coach's eyes widen considerably with pounding heart as the vivid flashes of the man with her mother from the film started flitting through her mind.

"You know who Vijay Dubey is or was in my mother's life?" Nadia sniffled wiping at her eyes and the endless silent tears.

"Yes, I remember him from the book and films." The gorgeous Romanian answered softly swallowing hard and understanding now why there was such dramatic change in relationships and with Nadia.

"It was his son…" Nadia shook her head softly with more tears and missed the sigh of relief in her coach's eyes and breath, "My mother and father would have had to deal with his father for the rest of their lives. See him and interact with him… share a grandchild with the man who desperately wanted children with my mother… his mere presence makes both of my parents want to turn inside out. Because I was stupid and not thinking, I almost ripped open a wound in their lives they'd never again be able to close… hurting them forever because of my thoughtless actions."

"But you didn't. Right? You're not pregnant and none of this happened." The woman was trying to understand.

"But it almost did. Because I was an idiot and it still doesn't change the fact I slept with his son or what happened." Nadia held her head in her hands and sobbed again softly.

"Does your mother know about this? I heard her asking you… what she did wrong? I didn't mean to eavesdrop… just overheard the end of the conversation. She's upset that you're pulling away from her? Is that it?" She placed a comforting hand on Nadia's back.

"Yes, she knows. Except for when I told her, she thought I meant his father and it all went horribly wrong and I made her physically ill she was so disgusted… she was throwing up continuously and sobbing… I've never ever seen her like that… and it was all because she thought I was pregnant with Dubey's baby… _her_ Dubey." Nadia sobbed harder shaking her head and her coach's eyes were wide in understanding how the Tsar could have thought her daughter was talking about the father as she herself did on first assumption of hearing the name and could only imagine what that must have been like for her mother.

"You didn't make her physically ill, Sweetheart." She consoled her in a soft motherly voice of her own, "Thinking it was his father did… because of her relationship with the man. Not you."

"Yeah, she told me that, too…" Nadia inhaled sharply holding back a sob shaking her head and trying to keep herself calm, "But none of it ever would have happened if I hadn't of slept with his son. And it wasn't until 'after' I had to tell them all the sorted vivid details of what happened that we all figured out we were talking about two separate people… all because I wasn't thinking."

"So you made a mistake… it's okay. We all do and you've got to forgive yourself for it. No real harm was done and your parents are amazing people who love you unconditionally and only want what's best for you…they always have and always will." She wiped at her own silent tears touching the younger woman's cheek.

"I don't deserve to be her daughter," Nadia shook her head softly turning her eyes down and more tears coming, "She deserves better than what I am… what I've done. She's done everything for me all my life and yet, I slept with the one guy's son in the world I knew I shouldn't, almost creating a disaster. I couldn't even respect her enough to stay away from him. I was more concerned about me. What I wanted then to do that one small thing for her considering all she's done for me."

"Nadia… you might be a Romanov and Imperial but you're human. Allow yourself to be." She smoothed her hand over the side of Nadia's head, "You made a mistake. Probably the only one of your life and you're allowed to do that. Your mother isn't holding it against you or she wouldn't be so upset with the status of your relationship. She's your mother and as a mother myself, its our job to do everything we can for you… she's made mistakes, too and was actually brave enough to show them in vivid color to the whole world because of the lessons she learned from them and what she took away from the negative to make positive and they only made her stronger." She sighed brushing the hair over Nadia's ear, "You've got to find the positive in this mistake and not damn yourself with it for the rest of your life. You're an amazing young woman unlike any I've ever met and I know she feels the same… we've talked about it and she is _so proud_ of you and loves you so much…you are worthy of being her daughter… and you are so much like her but still your own person." She smiled through her tears, "You are your own beautiful self with your own amazing talents and unique to this world. She doesn't want you to be just like your sister. She wants you to be _you_. She loves you… for you… and she misses you. Don't damn yourself because of this mistake. You are your own perfect, you! There is no other Nadia Ekaterina Alexandra Ivanova Romanova Bristowva in this world." She smiled widely and laughed softly with the pride in her voice at saying that name, "You only have to measure up to yourself… no one else's standards. You are way above and beyond in most every aspect of your life, your character and your strengths then most people because of the life you've already lived, what you've already done and been through, and you've got an incredible mantel upon your shoulders being a Grand Duchess in the Imperial Family. You're allowed to make mistakes… just like the rest of us."

"I know I'm hurting her more by pulling away but I just don't know what to do when I'm around her now. I'm so ashamed of myself and ashamed of the way I am and act now it just seems to keep getting worse…like right now, I feel horrible for not going to lunch with her or to Moscow and making her cry, because it takes a lot to make her cry in sadness… She's got to be very upset and usually its only us… her children or my father or something very tragic that can bring her to tears but lately it's only me and I hate myself that I'm making her sad… and it only seems to make me more ashamed the next time I see her. I don't know what to do…I don't want to hurt her but… I can't just make myself stop feeling that way and suddenly think I'm worthy again when I really don't' feel that." Nadia shook her head.

"Well, then we'll keep working on it until you do!" She wrapped her arms around her pulling her close, "Your mother is never going to give up on you… you're human, Nadia… you can make mistakes, its okay. I've no doubt that in two weeks you're going to show the world exactly how amazing you really are…beneath the Imperial title, beneath your astounding beauty," She smiled making her look at her, "On your own and who you are… you are more then the gorgeous third daughter born to the Imperial Tsar of Russia. You are, you."

"Yes, but I got my athletic genetics from my Mama by default," Nadia sniffled with a slight smile wiping at her tears. "_The Chosen One_ with the amazing abnormalities."

"Yes, that's true. But just like her… you may have been born with certain traits and capabilities possible…but you still had to learn how to master them and harness them like everyone else. You weren't just born being an amazing gymnast. You had to work at it really hard. A lot of things came naturally to you in movements but you still had to learn the techniques. The same with your brother and sister in all that they do. You lucked out in the genetics lottery pool in a lot of ways. I lucked out with being petite too when I wanted to be a gymnast that helped give me an advantage just like taller people are better generally at things like basketball. You can't be blamed or discriminated against because of your genetics. You still have to do the routines just like everyone else. I'm so proud of you already and all that you've accomplished and how amazing you are." She smiled again and kissed her head. "We'll work on you not being so hard on yourself."

* * *

_Moscow, Russia_

"Lena," Irina shifted her gaze from staring out the window of her apartment next to the Kremlin she'd kept for these short trips of Imperial business. "Have you spoken with Nadia at all about what's going on with her? What she thinks or how she feels?" She swallowed hard with tears in her eyes when Lena nodded yes softly from her position in the large leather chair with legs pulling up under her as she set her book aside, "I'm so sorry for asking you this. I don't want you to be forced to betray her confidence by telling me but I'm scared…I'm scared that I'm losing her and soon there won't be a way to pull her back and once the Olympics are over and she starts school…she'll further separate herself from our family and one day all together." She quickly wiped at the single fallen tear pulling her own legs up behind her.

"I'm only revealing this and breaking her confidentiality because I'm worried for her too and I can't seem to convince her otherwise no matter how hard I keep trying," Lena sighed with her own tears welling and looked down at her fumbling twisting fingers. She knew what she was going to say would hurt her mother but seeing her mother in tears now, she already knew how much pain she was in over what was happening with Nadia too and hoped…somehow they'd figure it out together. "Quite simply…she hates herself." She swallowed hard and looked up at Irina with gazes locking. "She's ashamed to be around you or Daddy…she doesn't feel worthy of being your daughter."

"Why?" Irina asked in a choked voice, "From what happened with Junior?"

"Yes…and your reactions to it and the what could have happened…that's the worst part, I think. She hates herself for not thinking and what could have happened if she had gotten pregnant…how that would change your life and Daddy's…having to share a grandchild with Dubey," She paused to wipe her tears trying not to cry, "She knows how much that would have hurt you forever and she is ashamed that she did something that could have had such major repercussions on the both of you but especially you…because she knows you'd do anything for her, even swallow and bury your own pain and find a way to 'cope' with sharing a grandchild with him, for her."

"But that never happened." Irina sighed with a constant swell of tears and breaking heart.

"It doesn't matter to her. It could have because of her actions and that's all she sees now… that and your reaction. That she made you physically ill she can't seem to get that out of her head. That her actions have the power to make you respond with physically being ill…"

"Oh god," Irina sobbed with fist coming to mouth and looking away in her own shame leaning on the back of the sofa, hating herself for not being able to stop herself that day and the repercussions of 'everything' about that whole incident left her daughter with and understanding them all too well.

"She feels dirty and disgusting and hates herself for having sex with him. For recanting the details to you but mostly to Daddy whom she knows hates the idea of his daughter's having sex and that its taboo and a 'dirty' thing to him though he's never said that…his reactions to it always suggest that's how he feels even though we know inside he really doesn't…but that suggestion is what she's going on now because its bad and she's ashamed…so her relaying her actions in sex and reactions of actually taking pleasure in it…" She shook her head and wiped at her tears, "Well, she hates herself and feels dirty now for it especially because it was Dubey's son…the guy Daddy can't stand because of his intimate relationship with you…she feels like she betrayed the both of you. That's she's been marked and tainted for life… and that's made her question everything now…she doesn't feel like she's worthy to be your daughter because of this and she doesn't feel like she belongs in our family." Lena cried with her own heartbreaking hating that her younger sister thought this way and was so self-loathing now with value on her life. "And she's ashamed more and more everyday because of her reactions now making you sad and she can't stand that either so the next time she sees you…she remembers how she upset you the last time or was unable to show you any kind of affection or hurt you in some other way and its just compounding reactions of shame…so much so she's drowning under it now."

Lena shrugged sadly and watched her mother's face with rivers of silent tears, "That's why she's thrown herself so completely into perfecting her routines in gymnastics because she feels like that's the only part of her that's not tainted anymore. When she's doing them she doesn't have to think about you or anything else or what she's done…it's why she's at the gym all the time and avoids coming home. She doesn't have to think or feel there. In that one aspect of her life…she can be perfection…it keeps her 'worthy' because outside that… she thinks she's worthless and that I'm the perfect daughter and who is worthy of your love but that because of what she's done she'll never be good enough…in her own eyes, not yours. She'll always be '_just the spare'_ as she said."

"_Just the spare?"_ Irina asked with a cry, not knowing where to begin in questioning all this or processing it.

"Yes, just the spare. She's said it twice to me now. I finally asked her if she was upset that I'm the Tsarevicha and she said, 'no' and I honestly believe her. She just doesn't know where her place is. She said that, Sydney was your first born and Julian was your savior keeping you alive and sane all those years, and I was the 'light' that brought everyone back together, the new baby and a second chance and that Nicholas was your only biological son still alive, and she just happened to be the 'extra' that came along with him."

"Has she always felt this way?" Irina asked in a gasp with blurry eyes of disbelief and horror.

"No." Lena shook her head sadly, "Just since February and she started questioning everything about her and hating herself. She does love you…the same as she always has she just doesn't know how to show you anymore or react around you because she doesn't want to hurt you with her unworthiness and just feels its better if she stays away from you and everybody. She feels awkward."

"I saw her with the children that she teaches gymnastics to. She was smiling and laughing and holding them tightly…she doesn't do that with us anymore." Irina spoke softly looking down and shaking her head while wiping at the tears.

"That's because she can just be herself with them…they don't know what she did. Their views of her haven't been 'tainted.'" She repeated the word her sister used, "She can be with them and not have to think about what she did because she knows they don't know anything and when they look at her…aren't 'thinking' about what she did or 'seeing' it."

"And she thinks we do?" Irina asked with choked voice.

"Yes…that every time you look at her, you see what she told you in great detail and her mistake…and she's ashamed. Ashamed at what could have happened, how she could have hurt you both and how you were both thinking that day in the miscommunication that she was talking about 'your Dubey' and envisioning her with him in the details she told you that made you sick." Lena spoke quietly and more tears flooded her eyes hearing her mother's internal sob, "That'd 'she' would be the dirty one in that scenario as your daughter sleeping with your former lover and willingly doing so…what you must have thought of her. That's why she won't hug you or touch you unless she has to…she tries to so that you won't get more upset but she really does feel like she's dirty around the both of you now after recanting those details. That she just slept with the guy for sex and pleasure and she doesn't feel worthy of your affection or attention."

"I talked to her about that." Irina shook her head realizing her daughter hadn't heard a word or did and it wasn't penetrating the self-loathing walls she knew well.

"I know…she told me you did and you talked about sex and making love and not being ashamed of taking pleasure but it's with the 'whom' she can't get past and in her mind now… She didn't have sex with your Dubey but she feels like she did. Has violated you in the same regards, brought the same shame because of everything that happened she might as well have. I freaked out on her, Sydney freaked out on her, you freaked out on her, Daddy freaked out on her…the first time she ever messed up in her life and because of what it 'could have been' she's been traumatized by it basically." Lena cried waving her hand up and down with the count of those who'd freaked on her sister, "I was lucky to even get that much out of her over the last few months but I keep trying and watching her and listening intently to hear what she's not really saying…watching her interactions and I feel like I failed her too…that she came to me for help twice and both times my initial reaction was to freak out first…I guess that's human nature to startling news but with so many of us and on such a tempered and sensitive topic it expounded her feelings of guilt and shame intensely. She's never made a mistake…she never learned how to recover from one and learn from it before all this happened." Lena sobbed biting it back and shaking her head.

"My god, how did this get so messed up and go so wrong?" Irina asked herself more then anyone with head in hands leaning over the back of the sofa with one arm and tear stained face and more falling.

"Well, that's part of the problem. She realizes how massive it all got blown out of proportion because of things that happened and clarifications made and mistakes and she's ashamed of that too. Because it all started with her and this is where we are now. Everything's changed." Lena sniffled with more tears coming fresh in her eyes, "And I asked her what she's planning on doing after the Olympics are over…if she's going to go to school at the University in St. Petersburg like she planned or what? And she said she thought about school '_someplace far away'_ now or maybe '_getting lost in the world_' for a while to '_find herself'_ because she feels '_empty and numb_."

"My god…" Irina gasped and started sobbing softly, her worst fears coming true that Nadia was separating from them completely…it was only a matter of time and she wasn't prepared to lose her daughter when she was only sixteen. She knew what Nadia was thinking and feeling because she separated completely from what was left of her family and everyone she ever knew after Kashmir because she didn't want them to see how 'tainted' she'd become and because she was so ashamed of how her mother died and closed herself off to everyone.

"Mama…I keep trying to help her but I don't know how." Lena cried feeling helpless herself, "She just feels so alone and I don't know how to get through to her that she isn't. That we love her and just because she made a mistake doesn't mean she's not worthy of us. That she shouldn't be ashamed for the things that were out of her control like the mix up but she's taken it all onto herself and I don't know what to do, Mama. I'm trying, I just don't know what to do."

"Come here." Irina waved her over with a quiet strangled voice and held her on the sofa where they cried together.

* * *

When Irina and Lena returned later that night, Irina revealed to Jack everything she'd learned from Lena as well as her last encounter with Nadia and he held her when she cried and his own tears built and fell silently that both of their fears had come true. The damage had been severe and spiraling downward and they were now frantic and desperate for a way to stop it before she pulled away completely.

**_*Inferno*_**

Irina couldn't take it anymore; it was killing her slowly to slowly lose a child this way in a painfully, torturously slow disconnect. In the middle of the night, she got up and went to Nadia's room.

Without waking Nadia, she slid into bed beside her, not touching her knowing how her daughter felt to be touched by her now, just sleeping next to her after watching her daughter sleep so peacefully for a long time before closing her own eyes.

Nadia woke up like clock work at 4 AM with her internal clock set having gotten up at this time for months straight now and was more then surprised when she opened her eyes to see her mother sleeping beside her. She watched her for a long moment feeling the tears coming to her eyes before sliding out of bed soundlessly and leaving.

When Nadia woke up on the second, third and fourth morning to her mother sleeping beside her, she knew in her heart her mother was going to keep sleeping beside her not willing to give up and neither said a thing to the other about what had become a nightly ritual in the daylight hours.

The second week Irina stared at the back of Nadia's head for a long time while her daughter slept on her side that first night before moving in, her heart pounding rapidly at taking this risk but unwilling to let her go and fight through the awkwardness. She stealthily spooned up behind her and wrapped her arm around Nadia so gently that Nadia didn't awaken. Tears were in Irina's eyes with her face almost touching the back of Nadia's neck as she inhaled the sweet smell of the shampoo her daughter had used that had become her scent over the years and felt her chest rise and fall slowly under her arm and her heart beat against Irina's through Nadia's back.

This time when Nadia awakened in the morning her eyes went wide again to feel the body pressed against her's and the arm over her and the tears returned. She lay there silently for a moment taking in the unconscious contact knowing her mother was still sleeping feeling her stillness and the steady and soft breaths against the back of her neck. She didn't want to wake her mother and have to face her and ever so gently, picked up her arm and slid out from under in a stealthy move of her own, gently placing it back onto the bed with the tears falling from her eyes.

And as with the first week, neither said anything and Irina continued to hold her during the night with Nadia slipping away in the morning but Irina was determined to make her child comfortable in her arms again, with her touch letting their hearts beat in time with each other at night and do a bit of healing in the process.

* * *

"How's it going with your mother?" Nadia, the coach, asked her pupil while she finished putting resin on her hands getting ready for her practice on the Balance Beam in one of the final practices before the Olympics in just two days. She'd noticed something slightly different in Nadia in the last couple of weeks and she was wondering about the change. She seemed somehow calmer in the last week especially the last few days then she had in a long time.

"She sleeps with me every night." Nadia answered her softly with an awe in her tone as if still stunned by that fact. "Every night since she returned from Moscow with Lena two weeks ago. I just woke up and she was there. She never says anything and I don't either…but she's there every morning when I wake up."

That fact alone was a bit jarring as she knew how much her mother and father hated sleeping apart so for her mother to have been sleeping with her for the last two weeks…

"She misses you...a lot it sounds like." The beautiful woman smiled softly with a hint of sadness in her voice, "I told you she wouldn't give up on you. She loves you very much, Nadia." She spoke softly while they continued to prepare the beam, "I wish you could be me for a moment…just so you could see the way she looks at you when you're not even aware." She caught Nadia's eyes flashing up to hers' in a brief moment of surprise and emotion before looking down again. "Do you know what the name Nadia means?" She asked softly with a smile knowing at having the same name.

"Hope." Nadia answered softly smearing the white powder over the four-inch wide space, just wide enough for one foot.

"Yes, that's right." The Romanian responded with a slight head nod, "My mother named me Nadia because she said I was her 'hope' for the future…when you were eight and I first asked your mother and father about coaching you, your mother told me the same thing…that you were her hope for the future… 'hope' that you'd be the one daughter she had that would have a shot at living a somewhat normal, happy, healthy life…free of espionage, free of Imperial Ruling, that you could just be 'you' with no expectations to live up to…just doing whatever made _you_ happy."

Nadia's eyes flashed up to her coach's again and swallowed hard, listening intently having never known these things. She knew that her mother had told her she was the 'hope' she had for the future when she was younger, but she never said what that was exactly until now.

"She loved that because you've the freedom to live a life you want, that she has never had. That your sisters will never know. That right there… is enough for them to be enviable of you and that is what makes you unique from them. She said she was afraid though…because she saw that 'spark' in you that you were destined for greatness and with greatness, never comes normalcy…which is true." She shrugged with a smile having known that first hand after becoming the most famous gymnast in the world her life was never the same, "The normalcy she had 'hoped' for you would be gone. But she didn't want to hold you back either just for her dream for you to live as 'normally' as you could…she wanted you to have your own dreams which is why she said 'yes' to letting me coach you and take your gymnastics to the next level when we asked you what you wanted. She saw your passion and the fire in your eyes and it made her happy that you were happy…and she told me that you were still her 'hope' for the future because you will always be her dream in whatever you do…her dream being you are happy and healthy and free to live your own dreams in whatever way you want…you've always been very special to her. From your birth and probably before."

She smiled finishing the end of the beam with Nadia whose brows were slightly furrowed thinking about this new information.

"Do you know a lot about your birth?" She dusted off her hands looking at Nadia with a curious tone and smile seeing she was cracking through somewhere inside the girl.

"We were born through emergency C-section a month early because of a Placenta Abruption and we were all bleeding to death." Nadia answered quietly relaying what she knew having heard it a few times in her life, "After Nicolai and I were born Mama almost bled to death and her heart stopped before Uncle Ryan got it going again and Aunt Katya had to do a massive blood transfusion for her. My cousin Sophia, donated blood to me while they had to use Lena's blood for Nicolai because of his Hemophilia and Mama had none to spare." Nadia swung up onto the beam and straddled it with eyes flashing to her coach wondering what she brought this story up for.

"Hmm." Her coach smiled softly at the matter-of-fact way that Nadia relayed those details. "Yes, I remember it well, too. It was quite traumatic, all over the news. Everyone was following the story so carefully so concerned for all of you." She nodded slightly standing beside the beam, "Do you know the _exact_ details of your actual birth? The moment you and your brother were born?"

Nadia shook her head softly with a slanted eyebrow of curiousness, "Only that he came first and I second." It wasn't something anyone in her family every really discussed. Usually only stories about how adorable and tiny she and her brother were in their first days and weeks of life and how happy everyone was to have had them arrive. She never really thought to ask about her actual birth in more detail as it didn't seem like something anyone ever wanted to talk about given the seriousness of the situation. It seemed to pain everyone in her family with the mere mentioning of it and they'd quickly all redirect their attention immediately onto the happier parts of life in the days after their birth.

"You don't know that your mother refused anesthesia?" Her eyebrows rose a bit with a soft smile seeing Nadia's eyes widen. "She wouldn't let them put her out because she was afraid she was going to die without ever having seen you…and she wanted to see you so badly at least once…she let them cut her open without any medication…just biting on a stick. Her heart stopped just after she saw you were out and safe…"

Nadia's eyes widened even further having never heard this part before and wondering for a moment why it was left out and then realizing, it was everyone's way of trying to protect her and Nicholas again apparently as it was quite a shocking, horrendous and extraordinary measure and likely the reason 'why' no one ever wanted to talk about it. It must have been terrifying for them all.

"I'd imagine…that a mother who loves her children that much, was so determined not to give up on them then…isn't likely to do so now." She looked up with a slight smile that was almost a smirk, "You're very worthy to her, Nadia…you always have been."

* * *

The following night they were preparing to leave St. Petersburg to fly to Moscow where the Summer Olympics were being held in Russia for the first time since the Soviet days. The Opening Ceremonies were taking place the following night and they were going tonight as to have all day tomorrow to prepare as host country of the games, there was much to be done especially by her mother.

Nadia was in her room finishing packing her gymnastics bag as her other luggage had already been taken down before when she heard the soft knock. "Come in." She called back softly as she finished zipping the bag.

Irina had tears in her eyes the instant she opened the door and saw her daughter zipping closed her official Imperial Russian Olympic Athletes bag, so proud of her already. She quickly tried to blink them back before Nadia turned but was sure her eyes were glistening when their eyes locked for a moment before Nadia diverted as she always did now.

"I just wanted to ask if you're ready? If you're not, that's fine I just wanted to let you know everyone is ready when you are." She spoke quietly with a soft smile of sadness that this night was here, as their two weeks of sleeping together ended this morning with Nadia staying in the Olympic Village for the next two weeks of the games. Her eyes flickered with the glint of tears and she gave a small smile speaking very softly, "I'm so very proud of you, Nadia…so proud of you." She nodded softly and then turned to leave.

"Mama…" Nadia suddenly called out stopping her from going and swallowing hard with anxiety and a pounding heart. "You stayed with Lena in the Olympic Village at her first Olympics…I just…wanted to tell you that you're welcome to stay with me, too." She swallowed hard again and shifted her gaze before forcing herself to look her mother in the eye, "I would like it if you stayed with me…at my first Olympics."

Irina's heart skipped in her chest and the tears built rapidly in her eyes with smile growing that they were making progress and she wanted to rush forward and grab her daughter holding her tightly and kissing her to pieces but she didn't want to push her any faster than this, already big step.

"I would love to, Sweetheart." She answered quietly with a soft nod and smile turning to leave again and the first tear fell with her back to Nadia.

**_*Inferno*_**

"Mama!" Nadia called out again rapidly and waited until her mother turned half way around and then saw the silent tears escaping from both her mother's eyes. She looked her in the eye for a moment and then rapidly stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her mother tightly and Irina gasped at the first contact like this in five months and relief swept through her as she wrapped her arms tightly around Nadia holding on for dear life. She pressed her cheek against Nadia's head and inhaled a shaking breath through a held in sob as the tears ran down her face.

"I love you, Sweetheart…so much." She whispered softly, still cautious as to not say too much or push too hard but had to tell her that much at least.

"I love you, too." Nadia whispered back blinking back tears she was refusing to let fall and then pulled back when the nervousness hit her again. "We should get going. I don't want to keep everyone waiting." She gave her mother a soft smile and a nod and then turned to get her bag and stuff.

Irina knew they'd broken through a major barrier but were still no where near being 'okay' again and her heart sank only a little at that thought for she was too happy for the positive at the moment. She waited for Nadia in the hall and the two walked down together with everyone clapping and whistling for Nadia as they'd done for the other two Olympians in the house preparing to go on this journey when they came down the marble staircase to meet them all in the massive foyer and Nadia responded with a tight lipped smile that was fairly shy and they all longed to see her real gorgeous one again.

Once settled on the plane Irina pulled Jack into their bedroom and the moment she shut the door she threw her arms around him and cried happy tears, "She hugged me, Jack. She really hugged me!"

"She did?" Jack pulled her back surprised and with a hopeful smile he cupped her face sharing in her joy that she was breaking through slowly, "So it's working then?" He asked in reference to Irina's sleeping with her every night for the past two weeks and the last week while snuggled against Nadia.

"Seems to be." Irina laughed softly with new tears coming from her eyes in nervous joy, "She asked me to stay with her in the Village like I did with Lena."

"Oh wow." Jack gasped quickly at that massive progress when Nadia avoided he and her mother at all cost before and now she was asking her mother to stay with her for two weeks. He was overjoyed and feeling like he was going to jump out of his skin just like Irina and grabbed her again holding her tightly. "We're getting her back…we'll get her back." He resounded softly but sure of himself pressing his cheek to her head and then pulling back to kiss her with hands cupping her face. "I've missed you like crazy but God is this worth it! It's working!" He smiled against her lips and kissed her again.

"I've missed you, too." She kissed him back with a smile having to make do without sleeping together but at least able to still make love if not in the mornings after Nadia leaves and Irina comes back to their bed but in the shower or her den or wherever and whenever they'd gotten a chance to be alone. This being one of them… "We've got forty-five minutes before we land." She smiled rapidly stepping back and ripping off her shirt with gusto.

When they'd settled into their rooms in the Village, Irina with Jack went around to each of their children's rooms to say 'Goodnight' and hold them tightly, telling them how proud they were of each.

Antony was staying with Lena this time around and upon first hearing such news, Jack had clenched his teeth and took a deep breath, stopping to think before he said anything and realized how ridiculous it would be to get upset by Antony sleeping with Lena over the thought of 'what they might do' when it really didn't matter anymore as they already had and on a regular basis. He instead shifted his focus onto the fact that if Antony was in her room, she'd be that much safer from the throngs of other athletes who more than a few, gave her long and heated lust filled gazes as they entered the buildings going towards their rooms. Having her brother in the next room over was also a comforting thought and Nadia and Irina were on the other side. For security purposes, it was just easier to keep them all in the same area.

Irina was going to be kept very busy as the games got going, not only watching her children's events but being the one to place the medals around all the athletes necks at every medal ceremony was going to be quite the challenge though one she was looking forward too as were the Russian athletes who were thrilled to find out that if they made it to the podium it would be their Tsar kissing their cheeks and giving them their medals.

Lena by far had the most insane schedule of them all and would most likely be 'too tired' to do much of anything but compete and sleep. When Irina promised her she wouldn't hold her back from doing whatever she wanted to at these Olympics, Lena took it quite seriously and was competing in a record seven separate sports. All the sports she was entered in came naturally to her with her normal training of martial arts, running, and weaponry, mostly taught to her by her mother and the Samurai.

She had qualified to compete in five events in Athletics in the 800m, 1500m, 5000m, 10,000m, and the marathon; Archery in both the Individual and Team events; Shooting and Fencing with a combined eight events alone in both of those; Judo and Taekwondo, both coming easily to her with her extensive training in the Martial Arts since the age of four; and the Modern Pentathlon where she would combine shooting, fencing, swimming, equestrian riding, and a 3000m run all in one event. In all, Lena was competing for a record eighteen Gold Medals, whether as Individual or Team and a heavy favorite to win in at least eight of those and because of such, was the most talked about athlete coming into the games. There was not one single day in the two weeks of the games that she wasn't competing in something and at times, was competing in more than one event on the same day.

Nicholas was competing entirely in the pool in two sports of Diving and Swimming. In diving he was competing in the 10m Platform and 3m Springboard and in Swimming, 100m, 400m and 1500m Freestyle, the 4 x100m Freestyle relay as the anchorman and the 200m Breaststroke going for seven Gold Medals. He was an incredibly strong swimmer and his love of diving had never ceased from the moment he had scared them all to death when he was two by plunging off the diving board in the palace pool.

Nadia was competing entirely in Gymnastics in each of the Individual events of the Vault, Uneven Bars, Balance Beam, and the Floor as well as the All-Around, the most coveted Gold Medal for gymnasts as its all events combined, and as part of the Team Competition. She had the potential to win six Gold Medals. She was the most talked about gymnast having been kept such a 'secret' to anyone outside of Russia who'd never really seen her perform in events outside her home country, and with her famous coaches 'requesting' too, that they be able to coach her at only the age of eight, everyone was on edge to see her perform. Especially when in an interview that the two coaches gave together, they both said with sly grins of pride, that '_Nadia was the best gymnast either had ever seen_' it got hearts pumping madly with excitement.

In all, the Romanov children had the potential of bringing home an astounding thirty-one Gold Medals and no one would be too surprised if they did in fact pull it off. The only downside of such a heavy schedule was that in the earlier days of the games, some of their children's preliminary events and rounds overlapped forcing the family and parents attentions to be split.

When Nadia's door was the last they came to in the rounds of saying 'goodnight' Jack and Irina paused hesitantly, unsure of what to do. Should they try to hug her? Do they not? It was heartbreaking to try and decide what to do that wouldn't stress her out or make her uncomfortable especially when she had so much more on her mind with her competitions in the coming days.

"I think we should just hug her. I'll go first since she hugged me earlier and hopefully that won't be too much for her and break the ice some for you." Irina whispered quietly to Jack and he nodded thinking that was probably the best. "Don't try to hold her too long…let her control the amount. She seemed to be fine with me earlier and all the sudden it was like she remembered she was uncomfortable in my arms and pulled back immediately." She swallowed hard with tears forming in her eyes. "Are you ready?"

"Yes…I feel like we're preparing to go into a strategic battle rather than say 'goodnight' to our daughter." He sighed rubbing his forehead in frustration and sadness. "I hate this."

"Me too. But we're getting somewhere." Irina sighed cupping his face with one hand and sighing herself as she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his for a moment in silent support. "Let's do this."

She knocked softly on the door and waited for Nadia to answer, "Hi, Sweetie your father and I just wanted to say 'goodnight. Can we come in a minute?"

Nadia nodded softly and stepped back swallowing hard and already anxious slightly at just 'how' she and her mother were going to be going to sleep in the same bed with both conscious while they lay down.

"We figured tomorrow we'd all go around as a family to look at the different venues and area that each of you will be competing at to get an idea of where everything is for all of you before the actual day of competition." Irina smiled softly fingering her hair behind her ear, "Though you're entirely in the dome which makes it nice and easy. You don't have to run all over the place. Lena is another story…" She chuckled softly shaking her head. "Is that okay with you?"

Nadia answered with a slight head nod with gaze shifting all around and wrapping her arms around herself.

"Okay then." Irina inhaled a deep breath quietly and stepped forward gently reaching out to touch Nadia's face and bring her daughter's gaze up to her own if even for a split second before quickly removing it, not wanting to make her too uncomfortable. "I'm so proud of you." She smiled softly, "And I'm very excited to see your routines." She paused for just a moment before wrapping her arms around Nadia kissing her head and her heart sank slightly when Nadia didn't return it but stood completely still beneath her.

"Thank you." Nadia answered quietly trying to keep her own tears held back and patted her mother's back lightly with her fingers, wanting so badly and yet not, to hug her again tightly.

"I love you, Sweetheart." Irina kissed her head again with tears in her eyes she willed to stay there and then let go.

"I'm very proud of you, too, Firecracker." Jack stepped forward and kissed her forehead before holding her tightly, "And I'm very excited to see you perform, too. I love you…so much." He kissed her head again with his own tears and then quickly let her go seeing that she was still as stone beneath him, too.

"I love you, too…" Nadia answered him in almost a whisper and then shifted her gaze away.

"Okay, we'll let you go to bed now. See you tomorrow." Irina smiled inhaling a shaking breath and stepped back turning towards the door.

"You're not staying with me here?" Nadia asked rapidly with a quickening beat to her heart seeing her mother leave.

"Yes, I am…I just thought you'd be more comfortable falling asleep on your own instead of me beside you…I was going to come in later, after you'd already fallen asleep…if you want me to stay now, I will." Irina swallowed hard, hoping and praying with pounding heart Nadia answered with '_yes, please stay now_.'

"Okay…I guess I'll see you in the morning then." Nadia swallowed hard, realizing her mother had taken away the awkward factor of falling asleep together by continuing with what she was doing, sneaking in after she was already asleep. It was a relief and yet it wasn't, all at the same time. She hated feeling this way. "Goodnight." She whispered and then turned away from them walking back into the dimly lit room and Jack grasped Irina's hand and pulled it gently to leave.

As soon as they were in the hall and the door was shut separating them, everyone's tears finally fell in silent streams. Nadia sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the door and Jack and Irina holding onto each other in the hallway with Irina trying to keep from sobbing.

"Come on…let's go for a walk." Jack whispered into her ear, kissing her temple with hands rubbing up and down on her upper arms in comfort.

They ended up walking around the massive Athletics stadium where the Opening Ceremonies would be held the following night filled with nearly a hundred thousand people but tonight, it was completely empty except for them, walking hand in hand around the track once and then sitting in the infield with Irina between Jack's legs leaning back against his chest while he leaned back on his arms to brace them, staring up at the sky and talking quietly.

It was late when Irina slipped back into the room she was sharing with Nadia and changed her clothes for bed. This time when she slipped in, she didn't notice that Nadia wasn't really sleeping, only had her eyes closed that opened that minute her mother's arm went around, spooned up behind her and silent tears fell over the bridge of her nose into her pillow hearing her mother whisper against the back of her neck believing she was asleep, "Goodnight, My Nadia, My Little Love…My Heart…"

Nadia concentrated on keeping her breathing even and pulse slow as to not allow her mother to know she was awake and concentrated on the moon outside the window she was staring out of as her focal point. The tears kept falling especially when she realized her mother had fallen asleep and in the stillness with her chest pressed against her back, could feel her mother's heart beating against her and through her and soon, realized their hearts had become synchronized and beating as one. Her mind flashed back to the many times that her mother had always said that her children were pieces of her heart, that their hearts were hers' and when they felt pain and joy, she felt it too and for the first time Nadia physically felt the power her mother's heart had over her own, enough to change its rhythm and beat in time with her own. Her heart really was a piece of her mother's and it amazed her how when left in the stillness without the interruption of the mind, they could talk to each other and find peace in a simple rhythm. Her hand clenched up against her chest from where she lay, gently fingered the locket out from beneath her nightshirt and she grasped it against her palm, falling asleep clutching it as her mother clutched her.

Nadia woke first as she always did and slipped out from beneath her mother's grasp. She stood at the edge of the bed for just a moment before gently leaning forward and kissing Irina's cheek ever so softly with tears in her eyes and then slipped outside on their balcony sitting in the chair there and pulling her legs up under her to watch the sun rise.

Irina felt Nadia sliding out of her arm's for the first time and remained where she was, pretending to sleep and fought like crazy not to cry feeling Nadia lean over and kiss her cheek but once the French balcony door was closed, her tears slipped from beneath her lashes in relief and grief that they could only show and accept the other's affection when they thought the other was sleeping and unconscious of the act.

* * *

When it was time to head to the stadium for the events the family split up, the athletes having to go prepare for the parade and the rest of them preparing to welcome the other nations and Open the Ceremony. Lena was kept in a room by herself; with a door just outside the exterior of the Stadium entrance as the last torch runner who would bring the Olympic Torch that had been traveling around the world into the stadium where her mother would light the enormous flame.

It sounded like thunder above her with the hundreds of thousands of people above and around her and she hardly heard the knock on her door as she paced wildly but smiled when Max, her security guard smiled at her opening the door and let Nadia pass.

She couldn't tear the smile from her face staring at her younger sister who looked so beautiful and shook her head with happy tears to see Nadia wearing the Imperial Russian Opening Ceremony outfit of an old time Russian Cossack, really fitting into her other nickname. It was to celebrate their heritage the entire Olympic Team had voted on wearing the traditional Russian clothing of years before and the men were all in the red shirts with black pants and high boots with the cords around their waists while the women in all gorgeous but simple dresses and gorgeous scarves on their heads. Lena was the exception dressed in her uniform of short red shorts with form fitting white top with red stripes on the sides as the one elected by the team to bare the torch.

"You look amazing. I'm jealous you get to wear that." Lena smiled and stepped forward embracing her sister. "Aren't you supposed to be lined up by now?"

"Yes," Nadia smiled softly, "But I knew you'd be nervous and I wanted to come wish you luck and to tell you…you'll be fine." She pulled her sister in for another hug and Lena's eyes watered with tears at the tight embrace. "I love you, Lena…and I'm proud of you."

"Thank you…I love you too, and I'm so proud of you." Lena held her more tightly, "We're going to have fun this Olympics…and I promise I'm coming to see as many of your competitions as I can. Sleep be damned…it's not everyday my sister wins Olympic Gold." She laughed softly.

"We'll see." Nadia smiled shyly with her sister's confidence. "I've got to go…take a deep breath and know that all of Russia loves you…you have nothing to be nervous about. I can't wait to hear the roar of the crowd when you come through that gate." She gave Lena the first full radiant smile Lena had seen in months and held back her tears with a head nod of thanks while Nadia walked out the door.

* * *

**_*PM's Love Theme*_**

"Here they come." Olga smiled over to Nadia as they watched the entrance of the Imperial Family on massive screens outside the stadium so the athletes could watch the beginning of the ceremonies while waiting for their parade. "My God…Your mother is so gorgeous...takes my breath away in pride that she's our Tsar…every time." She smiled softly shaking her head watching as Irina on the screen stepped out onto the platform set up for them in the middle of the side of the stadium.

The roar was thunderous when they'd stepped out dressed impeccably in their Imperial Regalia and the gorgeous gown Irina was wearing with her hair up and crown on head looked every bit the Tsar she was and Nadia couldn't help the tears forming in her eyes never really getting to 'see' this side of her mother and her family form 'this' perspective, always standing beside them and taking it for granted.

But to see it now, with outsider's eyes, she was in awe and her breath stolen hearing and seeing the massive amounts of love around her as the Russian athletes and almost every other nation's athlete's whistled and cheered loudly for her family…a family she was proud that was her own, that she belonged to them. Her tears flowed freely applauding her mother and father as they waved and bowed regally to the hundreds of thousands of people in the stands above them. Looking like nothing she'd ever seen, this people who were awe-inspiring just in their beauty and presence alone to create such a fuss and then to realize…this was her family and that tonight when this spectacular celebration was all over, the glorious and gorgeous Tsar before her now would crawl into bed with her…as _her mother_.

She felt the arm go around her and turned her tear stricken face to see her coach smiling at her with the same tear stained face and radiant smile having watched Nadia's reaction and nodding softly while turning her gaze back to the mutual welcoming on the screen.

"Your family… _your_ mother. Only one of _five_ people... in the entire world, that gets to claim that." Nadia spoke quietly looking at her younger namesake, smiling at the thundering roar above with tears continually building in her eyes, "And she's the only one in the world, that gets to claim _you_ for her daughter…and that means more to her than any of this." She nodded towards the screen where hundreds of thousands of adoring people were smiling and cheering and a great deal with tears in their eyes as the cameras scanned the crowds reactions.

For the first time in her life, Nadia felt a real sense of _'awe_' looking at her mother, _as the Tsar,_ watching the world's reaction to her as such and, seeing her through _their_ eyes and feeling a surge of immense pride, that she was _her_ mother.

**_*Olympic Theme*_**

The parade of athletes was a spectacular sight with all the nations following Russian suit and wearing traditional clothing of their countries heritage that had everyone smiling to see the various costumes that were so easily recognizable for most but none more proud then the Russians to be hosting the games for the first time in their country under Imperial Rule. There would be no boycotting of these Moscow games as there had been the last time under Soviet Rule and every country was excited to partake in the games hosted by the new world leader, having slowly taken over from the United States though the two remained in close competition while remaining great allies.

"Oh here they come!" Irina's eyes instantly had tears in them watching the Russian team enter the stadium and spotting her son who was this year's flag carrier and his radiant smile and Nadia just beside him. The cameras instantly zooming in on them and the entire Imperial Family gasped at seeing Nadia's full blown radiant smile on the jumbo screen and moved to tears watching her continue to smile and wave to the thousands of screaming people.

As they marched around the track waving Nicholas blew his mother a kiss with a smile passing their platform before taking formation on the edge of the field.

"They look so beautiful…all of them." She cried seeing the hundreds of Russian athletes in their attire so proud of their heritage now and so many of them waving frantically with smiles at their Imperial Family.

When the last team was inside the stadium and in place everyone waited in anxious anticipation for Lena to enter with the torch having no idea what to expect, except for Irina and the other members of the Olympic Committee who knew what would happen but even they were on edge with pounding hearts.

**_*O Fortuna*_**

With the first notes of the song blaring loudly throughout the stadium and Lena's appearance, running through the stadium field entrance with Olympic Torch in hand the crowd went completely nuts with the song written and dedicated to the '_Call of the Warriors_.' Many, including her family, instantly had visions of Irina from the films running for her life to this same track that had become her anthem. Lena couldn't help but smile as she ran past the blur of people and athletes, running alone around the track and her image broadcast all around on the massive screens, tears in her eyes and streaking back into her hair that was pulled up into a ponytail swinging madly behind her running like the wind with pride.

Everyone had tears in their eyes and Irina could hardly contain them though she blinked them back furiously knowing she had a job to do and waited breathlessly for Lena to make her way back around to them. She walked down the red-carpeted path of stairs alone to the lower platform where Lena would meet her and the timing was perfect.

Lena smiled with pounding heart in the deafening roar of hundreds of thousands of voices as she ran up the stairs to meet her mother with the flame. Irina smiled widely at her with tears in her eyes reaching to pick up the Golden Bow from its pedestal and held it out for Lena to light the arrow on the end. She leaned forward and kissed her daughter's forehead with a smile and a proud nod and Lena kissed her cheek in the same manner, before taking aim at the massive caldron on the end of the stadium. With arm pulling back tightly on the strung wire it was a sight to behold; the Imperial Tsar of Russia looking so regal and gorgeous in her gown and crown and aiming with a Golden Bow in perfect form like a Goddess before letting the flaming arrow fly soaring through the air in a dramatic arch over the athletes and igniting the Olympic Flame on the other side of the stadium.

Everyone roared as the flames lit to form a spectacular formation and sculpture of fire in the shape of St. Basil's domes with colored fire and all to match the most famous symbol of Russia and flaming golden Olympic rings in the middle; the second crescendo of the music in perfect time with the dramatic events and the loud booming of the song and fireworks exploding in the background accentuating the heart pounding brilliance before them.

"_Ho-ly hell!_" Weiss gasped with raging tears of happiness clapping wildly in stunned awe with complete surprise to his wife. "Wow…I think my hearts going to explode!"

"Mine too." Sophia nodded with another gasp wiping at her tears with a raging smile.

Lena extinguished the torch in her hand by dipping it into a large golden vase and waited for her mother to replace the bow before throwing her arms madly around her with tears of joy and excitement; the embrace was flashed around the stadium with the people continuing to go crazy before Lena stepped back, bowed gracefully in her slight way to show her mother respect in such a formal manner with smile on her face and then turned to jog down the steps again and join her team while the festivities took off with that massive bang of a beginning.

"Nice shot, Empress." Weiss winked at Irina with a pleased smile and applause when she returned to her seat and the rest of the family stood until she was seated on her throne next to Jack. The last time he'd seen a spectacular shot like that from her, that had taken his breath away had been his stunned awe in Libya watching as her assassin's aim took out Sloanes' guards from more than a mile away. She proved to be just as accurate and spectacular with a bow and arrow.

* * *

**_*Myth, Power, Beauty *_**

Irina had waited to return to their room just as she had the night before and soundlessly slipped into the room, smiling softly to see Nadia asleep in the bed on her side facing towards the balcony doors again. She hadn't gotten the chance to see her and speak with her since before they all left for the ceremony and she watched her sleep for just a moment before beginning to remove the dress Jack was kind enough to unzip before she stepped into the room, making it much easier to get out of by herself. With the dress sliding down and off her body, she laid it over the back of the chair intending to put it away in the morning and slipped into her black running shorts. She removed the heavy jewelry worth millions of dollars and placed them carefully into their boxes and shut them into the portable safe along with her tiara crown. Her arms quickly slipped through the holes and under the straps of her matching light tank top that clung to her figure.

She stepped in front of the windows letting the moonlight wash over her as she looked out over the cityscape below with a slight smile on her face, raising her arms to release her drawn up hair unaware, she was being watched by her daughter.

Nadia had remained silent watching her mother's transformation from _the Tsar...to her mother. _Her coaches words flashing rapidly through her mind, '_she's the only one in the world, that gets to claim you for her daughter and that means more to her than any of this.' _Nadia's eyes caught sight of the scar across her mother's abdomen when Irina lifted her arms to release her hair. The scar that her father had originally created and then was used again to save she and her brother during their traumatic birth; Nadia had never really paid too much attention to it before having seen it all her life but now with the new information her coach had given her, she couldn't take her eyes from it and the tears welled and fell thinking about what her mother had gone through, endured in tremendous pain because of her love for her before she was even born. She had the overwhelming urge to hold her mother and be held by her in turn and shoved all thoughts and feelings aside and she carefully slipped out of bed.

The movement caught Irina's peripheral vision and she turned just in time to see Nadia's tears streaming down her cheeks stepping towards her before engulfing her in a hug that almost knocked her over…the bear hug she'd been longing for.

"I'm so proud that you're my mother." Nadia whispered with head turned away holding tightly. "And I do love you, Mama."

Irina couldn't help the small sob that escaped and held Nadia tightly, "Sweetheart, it is _I_, that am so proud…that you're _my daughter._" She cried softly and kissed Nadia's head repeatedly, "I love you so much…to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens…and grains of sand on Earth…forever and always…_I love you_, Nadia." She had no idea if she'd said too much or was holding too tightly but she couldn't contain herself feeling Nadia's tight grip around her and her daughter's words. Her heart was pounding rapidly and dreading the second when Nadia's awkwardness returned and would pull her away.

Nadia could hear and feel her mother's thundering heart beat beneath her ear, the obvious connection and excitement made the pace beat in double time and her mind short-circuited to the fact that '_she_' made her do this, physically. She had the power to physically make her mother's heart pound with love and excitement within her chest and more tears began to fall as she snuggled her face in deeper into her mother's soft skin and chest inhaling her scent she loved so much.

Irina's heart only continued to pick up speed with every passing second Nadia let her hold her, and her daughter held her back and more and more silent tears fell. She hoped her heart beating pressed against Nadia's chest would be able to continually convey the love she had for her when she didn't want to overload her with the words. In almost a breathless second later, she felt Nadia pulling away and she rapidly struggled to pull herself back together and put a soft smile on her face.

Nadia gave her one in return and wiped at her tears that Irina saw for the first time and her breath caught in throat to see her daughter's emotions so clear and without the protective veil. Watching as Nadia turned back towards the bed to climb in, Irina walked to her dresser and opened the drawer to find her sweatshirt.

"What are you doing?" Nadia asked just before getting into the bed staring at her mother peculiarly.

"Going to run for awhile, so you can fall asleep again." Irina answered still sniffling and gave her a small smile pulling the black fabric from the drawer.

Nadia instantly shook her head without thinking and walked forward rapidly and then stopped suddenly, swallowing hard she took the sweatshirt from her mother's hands gently while Irina watched her with held breath. She set the fabric down on the end of the bed and held her hand out slowly staring at it with pounding heart and then tracking up her mother's torso until she was looking into her eyes. Irina tried to calm her shaking hand as she reached for Nadia's and felt her heart skip a beat when her child's fingers wrapped around her own and turned leading her back to bed.

"Are you sure?" She asked Nadia in a whisper with hopeful tears in her eyes.

Nadia only answered with a soft head nod and each climbed into bed on opposite sides. Nadia once again was facing towards the balcony doors and Irina was staring at her back with a foot of space between them, unsure of whether or not she should hold her now or wait until she fell asleep.

They stayed silent and still for a moment like that before Nadia shifted her arm back extending her hand and waited until she felt Irina's slide into it and then pulled it over her, pulling her mother closer and Irina bit back a sob as she snuggled up behind her. When Nadia didn't release her hand but tucked her mother's arm beneath her own trapping it against her body and pulling their connected hands up towards her chin Irina didn't hesitate to pull Nadia back against her more soundly and lay her cheek over the back and side of Nadia's neck, as close to cocooning her as much as she could or dared.

"Goodnight, Mama." Nadia whispered after a moment with pounding heart feeling hers' bouncing against her mothers through their chest walls.

"Goodnight, Doodle Bug." Irina whispered back feeling the same pounding rhythm and as the silence passed and breath evened out, their hearts fell into a synchronized tandem beat just before both pairs of eyes closed.


	55. Chapter 55

_**AN: Remember that these are just 'glimpses' into their lives as it's impossible for me to write their entire life story this far into the future. I wrote the moments of their lives that had the most impact, in how they forever changed them and their destinies. Often times, it is the most painful times of our lives when our inner strength is called upon the most, that end up 'changing' us the most. So if it seems like these character endure nothing but pain, please know and remember that is not the case. I'm simply showing these defining moments in their lives, not the day to day wonderful moments of life (though there are PLENTY of those written about as well.) Please keep that in mind as we move forward with these time jumps and remember you're only 'seeing' snippets of an otherwise large and mostly happy life. Some of these tragedies fallen upon them, have also brought them their greatest joys in a domino effect of one life effecting another. For instance, being kidnapped: Antony never would have come into Lena's life or brought him back to his parents. They wouldn't have taken on the passion they did to end the Black Market sales of human beings and save many more lives, etc.**_

_**This story can be summed up perfectly with this quote: **_

_**"Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny."- C.S. Lewis**_

_**These characters are on a life journey filled with ups and downs and wild turns that leave you breathless and life worth living in the end. Life's lesson to let go and enjoy the journey.- Wild**_

* * *

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): ******__Matrix Reloaded Theme by Enigma, Smuglyanka _******by Red Army Choir**_********__, PM's Love Theme _******by Craig Armstrong from Love Actually Soundtrack,**_********__ Thunderstruck _******by AC/DC**_********__, To Russia My Homeland _******by ********And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead**_********__, Russian National Anthem- inst. _******by Moscow Kremlin Choir & Presidential Orchestra, _Say_ by John Mayer.**

* * *

FIFTY-FIVE

o

**_*Matrix Reloaded Theme*_**

Nadia's routines for gymnastics were in the evening so she was free to attend her sister and brother's competitions during the day. After watching Lena at the shooting range in the early morning racking up her first Gold Medal for the 50m rifle like it was nothing, there was little doubt where she got her dead-eye aim from, and everyone was crying as it was Irina, who placed the Gold Medal around her daughter's neck and kissed her cheeks, standing proud looking at Lena as the flags were raised and the Anthem of Imperial Russia was played.

Each member of the Imperial Family was wearing their baby blue sashes of the Order of St. Andrews and the female members with their tiaras on throughout the entire games over their regular dress clothes allowing them to be regal as the official hosts of the games and comfortable at the same time.

"You look more nervous than he does." Irina smiled nudging Julian watching as Nicholas climbed the ladder preparing to make his final dive for medal contention on the 10m Platform.

"He can win this, I know he can…he gets this from you." Julian smiled softly speaking in almost a whisper as everyone silenced watching the muscular young man all of sixteen and one of the youngest divers, walk out onto the edge of the platform turning around and setting his toes on the edge high above the pool. Julian couldn't help but think of the many dives he'd watched Irina pull off over the years when they were running around the world as rogues and it made him smile to see his younger brother with the same finesse.

Nicholas was currently in second place in the standings and as the last diver and if he performed a nearly perfect dive, the Gold was his. "Deep breath." Julian seemed to chant with Nicholas and they all watched as the moment he said that, it seemed Nicholas heard him and he inhaled deeply and let it go relaxing his stance and then jumped backwards off the platform twisting and turning like perfection before piercing the surface of the water like a torpedo with hardly a splash at all and everyone jumping to their feet with cheers at what had to be a perfect dive and all their faces flashed to the board for scoring.

Nicholas came darting up to the surface with eyes locked onto the boards as he swam to the sides waiting for the scores to go up while his dive was shown again in slow motion on the massive screen showing off his perfected form and angles. He'd just jumped out of the pool when the first scores started coming up and everyone gasped at the first almost perfect score and then cheered loudly as every single other score was either .001 of a point away from perfect or perfect raising him to number one and securing his first Gold Medal that had his entire family and crowd roaring with applause and tears for him.

His gaze immediately darting to the crowd and pointing with two fingers and a raging smile at his older brother who had taught him to swim and then double-handed kisses of his fingers gesturing towards his mother for his grace in movement. Irina had shown him through certain taught movements of ballet, how to perfect his dives. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the ballet idea when she suggested it a year ago but he was raging with excitement and happiness now as it had been that ability to move so fluidly that had won him his Gold.

Irina had tears in her eyes as she placed the medal around her son's neck as he leaned down from the podium and kissed both of his cheeks and then for the second time that day, stood by as the song of pride for Imperial Russia was played and flag raised for one of her children.

After Nicholas in the pool, it was back to Lena who was next and off to the track to do her qualifying runs for the 800m and the 1500m that were almost back-to-back. She pulled through and led the pack in both with excellent times before heading off to qualify for positioning in Saber Fencing which left Irina smiling seeing her daughter's excellent form fending off attacks and scoring point after point on her own attacks to bring her quickly up in the standings.

Nadia was more than nervous when nightfall came and it was her turn for competition and revealing her routines for the first time ever to anyone in public, including her family at the Women's Artistic Gymnastics qualifier for individual and team standings to set the pace and point levels for the rest of the competition.

**_*Smuglyanka*_**

The first event up was the Vault in rotation and everyone sat on the edge of their seats as Nadia was the last of the Russian gymnasts as the strongest participant to perform. She stood at the end of the long runway and raised her arm signaling she was ready before running rapidly plunging forward onto her hands, turning in the air to land on the springboard and fly up into the air off the Vault in a summersault twist landing without seeing where she was going and sticking it hard in absolute perfection and leaving her coaches and team to bounce and cheer excitedly from the sidelines.

Her coach had said the world was about to see '_the new queen of gymnastics_' and on Nadia's first vault, they got just a glimpse of the perfection she was speaking of. The technical difficulty of her vault was astounding and left many other gymnasts watching with widened eyes knowing that if all her routines were this advanced they were in trouble. Nadia waited breathless chewing on her lip just as her mother was doing in the stands waiting for the judges score to flash up showing a 9.975 just .025 off of complete perfection while the gymnasium erupted into loud roaring cheers and some boos that it wasn't perfection. Nadia looked down shaking her head upset with her score as it was not the perfection she sought.

"Nadia, it was perfect. Remember what I said about perfection differing in the eyes of everyone? To me it was perfect. To the crowd it was perfect." Comaneci wrapped her arm around her and tilted her chin up. "Chin up. You still have another Vault and many more chances...They're afraid to give you a perfect score on just the qualifier." Her eyes twinkled with a smile, "This is an amazing score; you should be thrilled!"

Her second vault she landed with feet pounding into the mat and stuck it perfectly and the crowd rang out with a mix of boos and cheers again with the scoring of 9.985 with the judges refusing to give Nadia a perfect score on the opening night of qualifiers.

"She's not happy with the best scores? Nearly perfect?" Weiss asked with concerned eyes looking down to Irina and Jack a few seats over, seeing Nadia leaving the vault area and moving onto the next apparatus with a sad look in her eyes and welling tears he couldn't imagine after her outstanding performance.

"Not when she's seeking perfection." Lena answered him quietly swallowing hard with her eyes meeting her mother's in a flash, both remembering the conversation with Nadia's need to be 'perfect' in this one area of her life.

The top scores coming out of the first round of routines had the Russians in the lead, Americans behind them with the Romanians and the Chinese tied for third in the usual four best countries of the world for gymnastics.

The Uneven Bars was up next for them and once again as the strongest of the team Nadia went last and Irina held her breath having only seen a tiny glimpse of her warming up for this routine that day in the gym and what she saw was phenomenal without her daughter's whole heart into it that day.

When her coach grabbed her waist and helped Nadia to grasp the high bar to start, a silenced hush seemed to fall over the entire gym wondering what her performance would be like on this apparatus and were left immediately breathless from the beginning.

Nadia used both hands to pull herself up and then started swinging and spinning letting go and flipping with a speed that was mind boggling and showed off her powerful core strength and then they all gasped when launching herself from low to high bar she only grasped it with one hand, purposely pinning the other into her side as she flipped around two times fast holding on tightly, let go, spun around, grasped it again with only one arm, swung around again with one arm, turned and let go before swinging rapidly around the high bar holding on with only one arm and then soaring off it backward in another blind landing using only one arm for balance and stuck her landing. The entire place erupted into a deafening roar having never witnessed before a routine on the Uneven Bars with the entire last half using only one arm in absolute perfection.

"Sweet Jesus!" Kendall gasped with wide eyes when it was over as they waited for the scores to appear having never seen anything like it and the images of Irina running and jumping onto helicopter skids or elevator cables with only one arm from the film rapidly flashed through his mind seeing yet again, another skill passed on and a comparison of its practical use in the real world.

"She's like _Mighty Mouse!"_ Weiss screamed with excited fists pumped in the air with wide-eyes at the petite but mighty Nadia.

The crowd immediately turned their loud cheering into loud booing when the judges flashed a 9.985 onto the board and left Nadia with tears in her eyes again shaking her head.

"What the fuck?" Vaughn cursed angry, "How the hell can anyone possibly improve upon that when she just pulled off something no one has ever done before and flawlessly?" He was angered at the bias going against his goddaughter and sister-in-law when they continuously gave her 'almost' perfect scores but held back.

"I am in awe…" Katya gasped loudly with tears in her eyes of happiness and humility at knowing her niece was 'good' but never really realizing '_how good'_ until this last performance. Nadia's strength was astonishing.

"They're scoring them all low in relative comparison." Jack turned his gaze to Vaughn across Irina with a sad shake to his head, "Nadia's the leader and has set the bar and their judging them all lower to see what she'll do knowing they won't give her a perfect score but still needing the wider margin knowing she always goes last."

"Well, that's not fair…to any of them!" Sydney was getting upset.

"Look," Anya pointed to the screen showing the gymnastics commentators reviewing the performance and shaking their heads on the large jumbo screen in the corner relaying the worldwide broadcast as well that it should have been a perfect 10.000. "They're upset for her, too."

"So are they." Ria nodded towards the other groups of gymnasts watching the replay and shaking their head that her routine was not considered perfection with wide-eyes and swallowing hard at just how tough the judges were going to be.

"You're too good." Olga cupped Nadia's face with a smile watching her remove the tape from her wrists and hands preparing to move to the beam, "They won't give you a ten even though you're earning them…not tonight anyway…keep your head up…and they will. They're testing you to see if you really are…the new best gymnast in the world." She smiled with a nod encouragingly.

Nadia's coaches approached the judge's table before her routine on the Balance Beam while she waited a few feet behind the beam and the springboard she would used to mount watching them closely.

"What's going on?" Julian asked quietly looking over at Sydney and she shook her head and shrugged she didn't know.

"Introduction of another new move…but because it's the beam and more dangerous," Irina swallowed hard not liking that aspect, "They have to warn the judges."

When the board flashed 11.000 a loud gasp went around the gym signaling how many points this routine was actually worth, a solid point more than the 'perfect' ten if Nadia completed it flawlessly based on the technical merit and more than one judge were shaking their head with raised eyebrows and looks of concern while Olga and Nadia walked away.

"Why do I have a feeling what she's about to do is extremely dangerous?" Jack gulped reaching over and clasping Irina's hand with beads of sweat starting to form on his brow at the fact this routine was rated so difficult it went way beyond a normal score of perfection.

Nadia inhaled deeply and let it go before charging forward springing off the board into a back flip landing blindly once again only this time on a four inch piece of wood covered with suede and resin and earning loud gasps at the difficulty almost unheard of. Without even stopping to pause she had launched herself forward into a series of tumbles and spins.

"Oh Dear God…" Judy gasped watching as Nadia flew out of a spin to land on her hands in a perfect handstand and then bowed her back with legs slowly curving to point over her head and forearm muscles bending back as well in an unbelievable feat and show of strength and then brought her feet so far forward over her head they touched the beam in front of her literally folding herself in half over her back and everyone was gasping and cringing at the body position, flexibility and incredible strength.

"And she certainly got your flexibility." Jack gasped with wide eyes and bared clenched teeth speaking to his wife at witnessing the move.

"I think she has more…_way_ more." Irina was cringing in almost the same way, being able to bend over like that quite significantly but never while balancing on just her hands or literally bringing them all the way around to touch the floor in front of her.

When that impossible looking position was over Nadia rapidly flipped her legs back swinging them around to the sides and used the momentum to roll over her back and flip over off her shoulder to the end of the beam pressing up off her arms using them to 'jump' and then landed on her feet. She paused less than a second before flying forward on the beam flipping off her hands into a back flip and then another and another without the use of her hands until she was at the end of the beam and spun rapidly and came flying back though mid-back flip spun in a 180 turn and landed and jumped again, higher and completed a full 360 rotation to land and jump in yet another back flip doing another 180 turn and landing so quickly in rapid succession she looked like _The Flash_ and then ran forward two steps flipped forward using both hands and spun madly end over end in one complete rotation to land solidly on her feet and sent up the loudest thundering roar of cheers any of them had ever heard with the perfection of a routine and moves never ever seen before.

Her family's mouths were agape and faces white in stun watching the repeated slow motion replay of the unbelievable triple back flip and spins across the long thin board that had everyone shaking their heads and the other gymnasts losing color with unblinking eyes.

"If she doesn't get a perfect score for that…I'm going to cut someone's hands off for daring to mark anything else." Jack hissed out still unable to breathe.

"Mom, look!" Sydney gasped pointing up to the screen with wide-eyes and a smile to see the move on repeat again with the new move's name written underneath it, "She named it after you." Her eyes filled with tears that her sister had named the new move after their mother. The fantastic back flipping spinning series would forever more be called, '_Irina The Great_.'

Irina gasped with tears pouring from her eyes in silent streams and then another deafening roar surging through the massive complex when the score was flashed showing a perfect 11.000…the first of its kind as nothing of its difficulty caliber had ever been performed. After these Olympics, the gymnastics world would once again have to recalculate their pointing scales all because of Nadia and her perfection. There was no way after that routine that the judges couldn't award her a perfect score as they themselves still sat with wide-eyes and stunned awed.

Her coach picked her up and swung her around kissing her head with tears in her eyes at the score and Nadia finally had tears in her eyes of joy.

"Perfection. Your definition and mine." She put her down and cupped Nadia's face kissing her and then hugging her tightly with a laugh at knowing her title the '_World's Greatest Gymnast'_ was now gone after just the first three qualifying events and never happier about it having coached Nadia since she was just a little girl.

The applause lasted a good five minutes with the routine on constant replay in utter disbelief and fascination with heads still shaking while the athletes moved to their last apparatus and for Nadia that was the Floor Exercise.

**_*PM's Love Theme*_**

From the first notes of her routine's song, Irina and the rest of the Imperial Family instantly had tears in their eyes hearing Nadia's homage to her mother at these Moscow Games in her honor. The crowd was instantly on their feet as was customary in a sign of respect when playing the _Imperial Theme of the Tsar, _with all eyes and cameras suddenly focusing in on Irina in the stands.

Irina stood slowly with wide and astonished eyes looking down at her daughter on the floor facing her with hand over her heart and a humble head bow in her own sign of deep respect for her mother sending the crowd into a wild cheer that only thundered more loudly the moment Nadia flew backwards into a spectacular series of flips, spins and twists that had been choreographed perfectly in time with the music, accentuating the crescendos with larger than life moves in breathtaking style. The entire performance was like watching a grand fireworks display, much like the night of her mother's actual Coronation, with each move more spectacular than the one before building towards a Grand Finale.

When Nadia flew across the floor in her final run hand springing and back flipping with wild turns and twists she ended in a mindboggling and breathtaking high triple-flip with her feet landing perfectly in the corner next to the red lines but not on them and as close as she possibly could using all her space and earning the maximum amount of points; facing her mother once again with head bowed deeply in respect and hand over her pounding heart, the place erupted again as everyone had found their new _Gymnastics Darling_ even if she wasn't from their country.

Irina was overcome with emotion and silent tears streaked down her cheeks even as she smiled and the thunderous applause around her continued to see such a fantastic performance from Nadia as well as the obvious display of deep love and respect she held for her mother.

Nadia had changed her routine after her mother began to sleep with her every night in a quiet vigil weeks ago and her coach informed her of the extraordinary circumstances of her birth. Her mother's harrowing efforts to bring she and her brother into the world with so much love. Knowing what pain she'd been causing her mother with her in ability to express her feelings of late, Nadia wanted to show her mother exactly how much she did love and respect her and the incredible woman she was. That idea was only compounded in watching the crowd's reaction to her mother in the Opening Ceremonies, seeing it from an outside perspective for the first time in her life and Nadia was in awe of her mother as the Tsar; seeing her now through grown up eyes and how the world responded to her and the way she was changing it, with such a deep and profound respect, and to know that as much as that meant to her mother, taking care of her country and its people, nothing in the world meant more to her than those she loved and especially her children as her coach had reminded her.

Having done nothing but bring tears of sadness to her mother's eyes for the last several months, Nadia had wanted this performance in it's perfection to bring tears of pride and joy back to her mother's eyes and make her a worthy daughter again. Her eyes finally glanced up and caught her mother's gaze for just a moment, acknowledging her with a slight head nod and tiny tear filled smile seeing her mother was indeed smiling with pride and joy, before Nadia looked away, not wanting to cry seeing how moved her mother had been.

Another roar of boos followed the moment after when she scored another 9.995 instead of a 10.000 that she deserved and Nadia's shoulders instantly slunk down and her head dropped with fresh tears of sadness that it wasn't enough and she'd failed her mother yet again by not even being able to get this right.

They couldn't get to Nadia after the events were over before she was literally swarmed with hundreds of foreign news press and people that had their security teams and the Olympic ones struggling to keep them from literally smothering or trampling her petite but mighty form and everyone was firing rapid questions at her. When the one just before her asked about why she chose to name the unbelievable move on the Balance Beam after her mother, Nadia answered softly,

"Because it reminds me of my mother…" She fingered her stray hair nervously behind her ear and had no idea her family or mother was behind her listening with tears in their eyes. "Sometimes in life you can't see where you're going and everything seems to be spinning wildly out of control and you're falling and flying through it and my mother is one to always land on her feet… and find her focus and direction enough to pull through and make it with an astounding beauty and grace that often steals your breath away in her perfection…that's why I call it, '_Irina The Great_." She added softly with a shy smile, only wishing she could tell her mother these things to her face.

"What about that twisting one arm triple flip combination on the Uneven Bars?" Another asked with raging smiles as Nadia had introduced so many new moves tonight they were yet to learn all the new technical names she'd chosen.

"_Panama Jack_," Nadia smiled softly and the entire group smiled and laughed, "Because my mother had my father spinning wildly out of control that night and he was barely hanging on…" She even laughed softly with them and had no idea her family was laughing and smiling, shaking their heads behind her with pride including her father who was nodding that her analogy of him that night, was a lot like her move…barely hanging on in a way that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with heart and soul and he knew when Nadia's gaze looked up and flashed with his catching sight of him for the first time, she understood that too.

The soft smile she gave him nearly melted his heart while she held his gaze for the first time in months before shifting it to her mother and doing the same with a soft head nod before turning back to fielding more questions.

"And the other one armed twisting back flip dismount that was so incredible considering it was the end of a very technically challenging routine that had to leave you exhausted and in pain? And then to stick the landing?" Another reporter asked rapidly with each clamoring to get their questions in first.

"_The Pain of Love_…" Nadia's gaze flickered to her mother and then quickly back to the reporter, "After my birth and that of my brother… when my mother was bleeding to death and fighting to save our lives…she refused any pain medication and fought what had to be horrendous pain while they cut into her during an Emergency C-Section… even as she was exhausted in fighting for all our lives…just to see us once… because of her love for us even then…she stuck through it until the end." She finished quietly and her eyes flew back to her mother's across the bodies of reporters to see Irina's river of tears running from her eyes and many of those in her family, including her father and her coach who had told her that part of the story.

Their gazes were locked only a few seconds before more questions took Nadia's attention away once again answering questions and revealing more names of new moves and ending with a smile on what she called the explosive ending to her floor routine, "_The Firecracker_." And her gaze flashed to her father for just a moment wearing the same smile.

As soon as she was clear of the press her sisters, brothers and the rest of her family seemed to attack her in their own swarm of hugs and kisses and flowing tears of joy and pride.

"I keep trying to tell her, she's the _World's Greatest Gymnast_," Nadia her coach spoke quietly coming to stand beside Irina and Jack with a smile watching the interaction with the rest of her family, "I don't think she'll believe me until she has all six Gold Medals hanging around her neck." Her eyes smiled when Jack and Irina's eyes flashed over to hers, "And I've no doubt, she'll do just that."

* * *

There was so much Irina wanted to ask and say to Nadia when the two were finally alone in their room, lying in bed that night with Nadia facing away from her and Irina just spooning up behind her, but was afraid to push too hard and too fast and instead, decided on, "Thank you… for naming your moves after me and your reasons why…and, your spectacular Floor Routine… I am so honored." She failed to keep the tiny sob out of her voice or the tear that fell from her eye and ran over the bridge of her nose dripping onto Nadia. "Thank you, Sweetheart."

"It was the least I could do…with all you've always done for me." Nadia answered in a whisper with tears falling onto her pillow. "Tomorrow, I will give them perfection." She answered softly, disappointed in herself for tonight and knowing she could have done 'better' for them…making her perfect in this one aspect for them to be proud and have a reason for it.

"You are perfection, Nadia. From the moment of your birth when Alexei first held up your tiny little body for me to see…you were perfection." Irina whispered softly with her own falling tears continuously baptizing her daughter with them and washing away the uncommitted sin against her mother that Nadia now sought absolution for. "I'm in awe of you, Sweetheart. Absolute awe. You are amazing, Nadia. I have always been, so very proud to be your mother." Irina added quietly with tears of pride and inhaled a soft sob in relief that Nadia was letting her hold her while awake but also in agony that her brilliant and amazing daughter still didn't feel worthy to be her child.

Nadia was quiet a moment with heart starting to pound rapidly and breathing increasing as she tried to fight off the tears and was unable, listening to her mother and feeling her own heart pound through the back of her chest with emotion.

"Mama…" Nadia croaked out through emotion-laden voice.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" Irina asked pulling back softly with a curious gaze to look down at her and saw Nadia's tears while her daughter turned beneath her and then threw her arm over Irina's shoulder and around her neck, knocking her mother flat against the bed, wrapping her arms around her and sobbing into the pillow and Irina's neck.

Irina's tears built rapidly and ran rampant down from her eyes into her hair against the pillow with Nadia's torso sprawled at an angle across her own while her daughter wept and she held her tightly, nothing needed to be said verbally to both knowing what they were saying, '_I miss you, I love you, I'm sorry…_' and fell asleep after the long good cry with arms still tightly around each other and Nadia still sprawled over her mother's chest.

For the first time since beginning to sleep with Nadia, Irina awoke first with her daughter still in her arms and more tears came to her eyes to realize it was almost seven and Nadia had most likely awoken…but stayed and fell back to sleep. Her hand gently cupped the back of her daughter's head, gently brushing over her silky brown hair and letting the tears of relief fall silently feeling the disconnection that had been happening in the months before between the two now ceasing and instead, strengthening every day and every moment they were alone together.

* * *

**_*Thunderstruck*_**

Over the next two weeks the Romanov children began to clean house in their home country Olympics with Nicholas winning Gold in Diving once again on the 3m Spring Board and then torpedoed through the pool winning the 100m, 400m Freestyle and 4x100 Freestyle relay with his amazing team of four and won the Silver in the 1500m Freestyle in a grueling match against an Aussie losing literally by a fingernail in a crushing blow missing the Gold by .001 of a second according to the sensitized pool walls that accurately measured finish times by touch. His last race was the 200m Breaststroke and last chance for Gold and blew his opponents, the closest being the Aussie who barely beat him in the 1500m, out of the water literally winning by half a pool length to a thundering crowd who was eager to see his win after the loss in the 1500m. He'd earned the nickname _'The Pool Shark'_ from other swimmers and reporters and it was with major pride and tears that Irina placed the amazing sixth Gold Medal around his neck along with his one Silver to close out his competition.

Lena was simply... untouchable. Like nothing anyone had ever seen and the athletes competing with her in events were now racing for the Silver already knowing she'd claim the Gold, an Olympic Goddess they couldn't come close to.

Winning the Gold in Archery both in the Individual event and as part of the Team and claiming victory after victory in Shooting with her 'dead-eye' aim, taking three Gold Medals for Skeet, Target and Pistols where she gave not only a stellar but entertaining performance with the speed at which she moved and flawless aim reminding everyone watching so much of her mother as they watched her blast the targets with long dark hair flying. Her moves in Fencing would have made the Musketeers jealous raking in another three individual Gold Medals and another for Team. As far as Lena was concerned, her 'easy' events were over and the most grueling seemed to be clumped together at the end of the two weeks.

She proved her Marital Arts mastery in both Taekwondo and Judo taking in the Gold Medals for her weight class in each though her Judo match had them all on the edge of their seats watching as she was being choked until she was blue and able to get out of the hold she was in by her Japanese counter part as choking and breaking of bones of the opponent was allowed; Lena not only came out of it with the Gold but three broken fingers on her left hand.

They only proved to be a minor annoyance as she went on to battle in the Modern Pentathlon and was able to use her right hand for shooting, fencing and riding and found the time they hurt the most was during the swim and she had to put pressure on them taped together to propel her through the water and then onto the run where she took yet another Gold.

She broke her old Olympic and some World Records on the track in almost every event, flying past everyone in the 800m, 5000m, 10,000m, and the coveted 1,500m where she broke her own Olympic Record from four years previous but still couldn't break her mother's World Record that would stand for the length of time many presumed.

It was tradition to wear all the medals you'd already won in the games up onto the podium when receiving another and Lena couldn't help but laugh softly with everyone else when she took the podium to receive her seventeenth Gold Medal of the games from her mother and it looked like she was wearing golden armor across her chest, a '_true Olympic Goddess'_ many said, and thus, became her nickname for the games and splashed across televisions and papers around the world.

As was projected, Nadia not only won the Gold Medals in all of her brilliant routines on the Individual apparatuses of Vault, Uneven Bars, Balance Beam and the Floor Exercise…she did so with near perfection. Receiving those withheld perfect scores of 10.000 in the Uneven Bars, the Vault both times and her perfect 11.000 once again on the Balance Beam in the '_most spectacular beam routine in history_.'

The entire arena erupted in outrageous displeasure when one solitary judge on her last routine on the Floor Exercise withheld the perfect score and she ended up with a 9.995, again.

When she won her first Gold Medal and bent over on the podium for her teary-eyed mother to place the medal around her neck, Irina received the first full smile from her daughter in months and the smile remained until the last judge docked her .005 of a point and then there were tears at not being able to obtain perfection in the Floor Routine done as an homage to her mother. The judge received the glares of hundreds of thousands of people's eyes all wanting to burn holes into her for docking on a non-committed 'error' on a move that Nadia herself invented leaving many to wonder how in the world she could have taken off for technical merit when the woman had only seen it performed one other time, by Nadia and it was flawless then. Many believed the judge was doing it simply out of spite as a way to publicly disprove of Nadia's tribute to her mother by using her anthem and forcing people to their feet with it being played during Nadia's routine. The deafening levels of booing and disappointment from the crowd at the score let the judge know, they certainly felt differently than she did about it.

Nadia helped the Russian team to win their Gold over the Americans and Chinese and yet again, brought the entire arena to its feet with flawless performance, after flawless performance earning nine total thus far in the Gymnastics competition. The final competition for Nadia was to compete for the All-Around, which is the most coveted Gold Medal in the Artistic Gymnastics as it defines the all-around best gymnast in the world.

She'd started on the Balance Beam earning her fourth perfect score of 11.00 there before moving onto Floor and finally, getting her perfect score there before continuing on with her quest for absolute 'perfection' going into Vault.

With only one more vault and her amazing routine on the Uneven Bars, Nadia was that much closer to completely sweeping the Gold Medals in Women's Artistic Gymnastics.

"Two more, Firecracker…" Jack let out a deep breath watching from the stands and looking down at Nadia walking towards her starting pointing. His fingers were in front of his mouth at a point and elbows resting on knees as he sat forward nervously.

Everyone in the arena took a deep breath with Nadia and held it in silence as she ran towards the vault and sprung forward onto her arms flipping around and springing backwards off the springboard onto the vault with hands planted and that's when they all heard it first, the loud crack in the silence and then Nadia's scream of pain though she continued through her rotations on instinct of something done so many times it was like breathing, knowing if she didn't she'd break her neck and die and managed to land with solid feet holding it for just a few seconds as was required before dropping back down and screaming along with everyone in the stands who could see the bone about to come through the skin in her forearm causing it to bend in places it should not.

"Oh god!" Irina gasped with Jack, and instantly flew from their seats with Marcelo, Alexei, Ryan and Sergei not far behind as their own team of family doctors, running down the small set of stairs near them onto the floor while Nadia and Olga and several other trainers and coaches were at her side instantly.

"Nadia!" Irina knelt next to Nadia who was clenching her teeth, sobbing through them where her coach was supporting her arm delicately with gentle palms. "Oh Sweetie..." She gasped moving around behind her on the floor to support her with arm over her opposite shoulder and around her chest, holding her close and struggling hard to hold back tears looking at her daughter's arm and the grotesque angle it was in with a sharp edge of bone about to break the skin.

The other gymnasts had tears instantly in their eyes as all other competition seemed to cease when the last of their routines finished tuning into what was happening with the '_Golden Pixie'_ who was expected to win in a clean sweep, now struggling to hold back her cries with a severely broken arm; reminding them all once again how it can all be over in a flash with an injury.

"Oh, this is a tragedy." The television announcers shook their heads with tears in their eyes watching as Sergei scooped her up into his arms with his father now delicately supporting her arm and following the Olympic Officials crew of doctors and personal off the floor and into the Emergency Medical Room under the stands with Alexei and Ryan. None of them wanting to leave Nadia's side.

A loud teary round of applause accompanied her exit with everyone on their feet, including the judges and other gymnasts for the tragedy that had befallen the young woman who was surely now, the title holder of '_World's Greatest Gymnast_.'

Her score flashed up as her Vault jump replayed in slow motion and as miraculous as it was, she didn't falter at all in her follow through and earned her perfect score.

"It was a clean break." Alexei examined her arm while she lay still and the sobs had turned into silent rivers of tears on Nadia's face.

"Can you set it and then wrap it with a splint until I'm done?" She asked in a shaking voice and all heads whipped to hers with wide-eyes. "I want to finish."

"Nadia…" Irina gasped with teary eyes knowing how much her daughter didn't want to give up but her arm was severely broken and to even attempt her routine on the Uneven Bars was preposterous. "You can't, Sweetheart..."

"She's right, Nadia," Her coach looked down at her with tear-filled eyes, "You'll risk damaging your arm permanently and the pain will be excruciating…you're not allowed to use anything for pain at all with Olympic drug regulations."

"Can you set it and splint it?" Nadia asked with determined eyes to the doctors in the room.

"Nadia, how can you possibly think you can do that with only one arm?" Jack asked in a soft voice not wanting to kill her dream but his eyes were wide that she'd even want to, looking at her arm.

"Half of my routine is with only one arm anyway, not the one broken." She looked over at her functioning arm, "I can compensate…I have to do this. This is my one chance."

"Sweetheart, you'll be able to come back in four years and claim your All-Around," Irina wiped at the tears falling from her eyes using her motherly tone.

"No, Mama…not four years; I've worked too hard for this now. I can do it…I know I can. Please let me at least try?" Nadia begged with tears falling endlessly from her eyes. "Mama…I can do this."

"Nadia…I don't think you should. You've already proven to everyone you're the best in the world." Her coach wiped at the tears falling down the side of Nadia's face into her hair.

"I'm an adult. I can legally make this choice on my own." Nadia shook her head with blinding silent tears, "I want to do it. Please…put it back in place and then splint it enough to get me through. We don't have a lot of time." She moved to sit up and the temporary splint on her arm came up with her as well as the rushed hands of many to support her and it. "Help me, please...I've come this far, I have to see it through."

"Sweetheart, the pain will be unbearable." Marcelo shook his head softly with tear filled eyes and Nadia's flashed from his to her mother's.

"I know." She swallowed hard thinking about her mother's unbearable pain to bring her into this world and her determination to bear it to see them through to the end. "I'm strong…I can do it. Go ahead." She spoke softly.

Irina held Nadia's eyes for a moment, knowing her daughter and seeing the stubborn determination in her eyes unwilling to give up and swallowed hard; nodding softly once and heart pounding loudly that she just consented to putting her child through the most unbearable pain of her life…a daughter who hadn't been conditioned to withstand pain as she had and take such pain.

"Give her something to bite on." Alexei inhaled a long breath and unfastened the temporary splint on Nadia's arm while the Olympic doctor on call at this event found a wooden tongue depressor and Jack felt a chill run through him watching Nadia being laid back looking so much like her mother during her birth when they placed the stick into her mouth and Irina held fast to her good hand while Sergei, Marcelo and Ryan moved to hold her down. "Forgive me, Sweetheart." Alexei looked her in the eye for a moment and then snapped her arm back into place and the stick gave way to the blood curdling scream that could be heard in the arena over the music and whipped everyone's heads toward the hallway they'd taken Nadia to.

"It's over! It's over, Baby! It's over," Irina cried with her bending over with forehead pressed to Nadia's and hands cupping her face wiping her tears while Marcelo used a temporary cast with Velcro to keep the bones in place. They had never heard a scream like that from Nadia in their life and some felt as though their hearts had momentarily stopped.

Nadia listened to her mother's voice and calmed herself down concentrating on her voice and losing the pain with her training in focusing and meditation to keep pain levels at a minimum.

"Okay…" Nadia sat up and looked at her arm, "Let's do this." She swung her legs over the side.

"Nadia, are you sure?" Her coach asked again softly as did everyone else with their' eyes in the room.

"Yes. I can fight through the pain for something I love and want to see through to the end." She answered softly holding her mother's eyes again with welling tears. "My Mama gave me that…" She nodded at her mother softly and slid off the table.

When Nadia emerged back onto the floor everyone cheered to see her up and about with surprise that she wasn't taken to the hospital and then hearts stopping with anticipation seeing her coaches go over and talk to the judges of the Uneven Bars. Nadia had missed her rotation and the last gymnast had just gone while they pled her case to let her finish.

They were shaking their heads 'no' at first, concerned for her safety and finally relented with the argument that a great majority of her routine was with one arm anyway and if the pain became too much, Nadia would simply drop and discontinue and nothing lost but at least she was allowed to try…she'd 'earned the right to try.' They couldn't argue with that. So when they watched as Nadia's one good hand began to get wrapped standing behind the Uneven Bars the crowd went ballistic to see she was actually going to try to finish.

"If you can't stand it I don't want you to keep going. Are you listening to me?" Her coach asked with tearful eyes seeing Nadia's gaze shifting around the massive thundering arena at the crowd going crazy for her. "I want you to drop…at least you tried and that's more then I would have done…anyone would have done with an arm like this. Please reconsider?" She begged quietly over the roar of screaming fans.

"I can do this." Nadia looked her square in the eye believing in herself' now more then ever, "I can do this."

"Okay then. I believe in you, too." Her gorgeous coach smiled back, "You've been okayed to start on the low bar but you'll have to pick up the lost points in an additional move at the end though you can still win the Gold without it with your current standing as the leader in all other events."

Nadia just nodded feeling like she was in a dreamland and not sure if it was the roar of the arena and thousands of screaming people cheering her on or that she was about to faint or both.

"I honestly can't see how she'd ever be able to do this." The television announcer shook his head with wide-eyes watching Nadia approach the bar, "I don't know why they're even letting her try?"

"Because she has heart and soul…and who's really going to tell her she can't at least try? They just set her arm without any use of pain medication and she's taken nothing at all since the horrible fracture on the Vault," The second commentator smiled informing the viewing audience at home. "Everyone in this arena believes in her…anything is possible."

Irina's heart was pounding and she drowned out the sound of everything, it seemed but its pounding in rushing waves in her ears, watching the rising and falling of Nadia's chest and forcing herself to keep breathing, stay calm and stay strong…believing with everything in her, that Nadia could do this if she found her strength inside her heart to get her through.

**_*To Russia My Homeland*_**

Everyone's breath ceased watching her flip herself up onto the low bar and then bounce onto the high, grasping it with one arm instead of two as she normally would have done in this part of the routine and used her muscles and momentum to bring herself around rapidly gaining speed and then again and began her difficult routine with everyone gasping a little more every time she'd let go with her one good arm.

Her tears were flowing wildly and she bit back a sob with every jolt with the pain surging through her arm at never having to hang onto her weight solely on its own the entire routine and all her muscles were compensating for the loss of her arm in the most remarkable way. As she began her final swings on the high bar preparing for her dismount she threw in another turn around the bar and let go doing a complete 360 turn and grabbing it with a roar from the crowd as an added move to make up lost points for using the low bar at the start and then went into her final swings again pulling off the spectacularly breathtaking '_Pain for Love'_ move and finished sticking her landing and sobbing in pain and elation with rampant tears before crashing down to the mat thinking perhaps she might have dislocated her shoulder on the last turn and not caring at the same time as she smiled through it that she actually finished.

"I think I dislocated my shoulder." Nadia cried with tears of pain and joy looking up at her coaches who had rushed immediately to her side while the entire place erupted in celebratory chaos. "I can't move it."

They shook their heads at her crying with her in tears of joy and awe seeing how she fought through the pain in the end that had to felt like someone was ripping her arm off her body after that much activity.

"Why isn't she getting up?" Jack and Irina were once again rushing forward with their team of family doctors to the edge of the mats as the Olympic doctors rushed by them once again.

"She dislocated her shoulder." One of them smiled softly shaking his head with the same pride and fascination.

When Nadia's score flashed up onto the board everyone was in tears and screaming wildly with excitement to see her final perfect ten completing the most spectacular All-Around in the history of the sport with perfect scores in every event. Even though some of Nadia's moves weren't as graceful with one arm she still completed them to standard and more, with only one arm and by comparison with her originally technically supreme routine that dramatically outweighed the other gymnasts in difficulty, combined with the performance she just gave, they gave her a 10.000.

With the amount of pain Nadia was in, she didn't want to be moved from the floor and held fast as they set her shoulder, her scream swallowed up in the deafening scream of the fans who were still going crazy.

When her arm was set back into place they carefully helped her up, making sure to keep it and the extended ligaments and muscles from moving too much as they walked with her off the mats to a cheer of a crowd unlike any they'd ever heard.

"How are you doing?" Irina asked softly sitting on the stool beside her daughter who was now wearing an immobilizer keeping her arm in place while she was being worked on before the Medal Ceremony.

"This is nothing." Nadia answered softly with a soft smile as the Olympic doctor wrapped her arm in a cast in her new favorite color, gold. The arm sleeve of her leotard had to be cut off to put the cast on as trying to remove it while the arm was still not hard cast would not be pleasant. Because of the severity of the break, her arm would be in full cast up all the way up her arm for at least three weeks before cut off and replaced with a smaller one that would allow her to at least bend her elbow. "Thank you for letting me…" She added in a whisper and tears welling in her eyes. "For believing in me."

"Always." Irina smiled leaning forward and kissing Nadia's forehead, "You will never be able to comprehend how proud I am of you or how much I love you."

"Yes, I do. You love me '_really big_." Nadia's tears fell and she looked up at her mother with a soft laugh remembering that moment on the beach in Fiji when she was only four. "I would do the '_this much'_ with my arms stretched like a bird but I don't think that's possible." She laughed softly with nervousness.

"Yes, I do…forever and always… I love you '_really big_." Irina answered with her own soft laugh. She couldn't believe Nadia remembered that and it was threatening to move her to tears and Nadia saw in her mother's eyes how much hearing that meant to her and wished she would have told her long ago she remembered it.

"All set." The man smiled with pride and then helped her to lean forward and off the table. "Congratulations, Your Highness...you made all of Russia extremely proud with the show of your courageous and unstoppable heart." He slipped a sling with the Olympic rings and symbol of these games over her head and arm into place.

"Thank you." Nadia answered softly with fresh tears in her eyes and a soft nod, overwhelmed to hear such a thing.

"You ready?" Irina asked with motherly pride at hearing the man and seeing the look in Nadia's eyes.

Nadia nodded softly and Irina helped her slip on her red Adidas pants with white stripes down her legs, the opposite of her white leotard with the red stripes down her sides, part of the official Russian team attire and guided her out as both her arms were immobilized.

Her twin brother met them at the entrance to the hallway and smiled kissing both of her cheeks with tears in his eyes from emotion at seeing her performance and her arms now and placed the five Gold Medals she'd already won around her neck that he'd been holding for her.

"I'm so proud of you, Cossack." He smiled with a laugh kissing her again.

"Thank you, Cowboy." She answered back with her own soft laugh and entered the arena to a standing ovation.

**_*Anthem of Russia*_**

Irina couldn't stop the tear flow as she placed the last and most coveted Gold Medal around Nadia's neck and was met with another giant radiant smile and laugh when she threw out the protocol for a moment after kissing both her cheeks and threw her arms around her daughter's neck carefully, holding tightly for a moment and then kissing her again on the cheek and forehead before releasing her to stand proudly for their country's anthem.

Every Russian in the building and many who were not, had tears in their eyes as the anthem played filling them with pride from Nadia and everyone one again went wild with loud roaring joy when the song finished and Nadia did a nod and slight hand wave with her hand sticking out of the immobilizer at all the adoring fans bringing tears to her eyes that they kept screaming and cheering for her for more then ten minutes.

"Mama," Nadia addressed her softly while they were packing up to leave grabbing her bags and other things, "Can you please take my medals off," She tilted her neck with a slight grimace, "With the immobilizer, the sling and the medals I'm getting a head ache from the neck pressure…its too much."

"Of course," Irina immediately dropped what she was doing packing Nadia's bag for her and carefully removed them. "Gold does weigh a lot." She smiled and got one out of Nadia in return before it was quickly replaced with another grimace and a hiss when she turned. "Are you okay?" She asked immediately concerned.

"Would you think I'm a baby if I asked for some pain medication now?" Nadia asked softly and all their faces dropped having forgotten all about the fact she hadn't had anything for pain yet at all, not even some Tylenol until she was finished competing and that had been an hour or more ago.

"Oh Sweetheart!" She gasped, "I'm so sorry! Of course you're not a baby."

"My God, why didn't you say something earlier?" Her coach asked with wide-eyes feeling horrible they'd all neglected to return to the issue of pain with all the excitement.

"I think I was riding the adrenaline euphoria high and ignored it though now…I feel like one arm is still being ripped off my body and the other, run over by a bulldozer sending sharp shooting pains up my entire arm." Nadia answered softly looking a bit flushed in the face, no doubt running a fever.

"If we give you a shot the pain will cease quicker but I'm not authorized to give you anything. It has to be an Olympic authorized physician and I don't want to be accused of 'doping' you in anyway and risk your medals." Marcelo smiled at her softly, "Come with me and I bet we can find someone in the Medical Room who will be able to administer you with a pain killer."

"Sounds good." Nadia sighed heavily as he gently guided her with Jack towards the office.

"Things are getting better between the two of you then?" The beautiful Romanian coach asked Irina watching Nadia leave with the others in search of relief. "I don't mean to pry its just I've noticed drastic changes in her since you started sleeping with her a month ago an-" She paused when Irina's eyes widened in a flash to hear she knew.

"Nadia told you I was sleeping with her at night?" Irina asked rapidly but softly. "When?"

"Just before we left St. Petersburg…our last practice." She smiled softly, "I told her I noticed a change in her ever so slightly and she told me about you. I figured with the sudden change in her Floor Routine and her desire for it to be an homage to you, something was happening."

"You know what's going on then?" Irina asked softly and the other woman nodded.

"I know enough… though I won't break her confidence I swore to keep." She smiled softly tucking her hair behind her ear and Irina nodded in understanding, "We talk…or she talks and I listen or I talk and she listens…" She laughed softly, "I'm just so happy to see that spark slowly coming back into her eyes and the infectious laugh lurking beneath the surface we keep hearing echoes of that I know one day soon…will reverberate off the walls again." Her smile widened, "I told her that you'd never give up on her…no matter what."

"Never." Irina smiled with fresh tears in her eyes speaking in almost a whisper and then rapidly pulled her into a hug, realizing that she too was responsible in a large part of the progress between she and Nadia, "Thank you…for helping me not to lose my daughter…and for taking such good care of her all these years and especially the past few months when I couldn't seem to at all."

She smiled returning the hug, "You're welcome, Your Majesty…its my honor…and I love Nadia… you don't have to thank me for caring about her or looking out for what's best for her. I may have pried open some cracks further shining a little light in but it was you, who are responsible for getting through by figuring out just what she needed without ever really asking and getting an answer. You just knew." She pulled back but held Irina's hands, giving them a squeeze with a smile, "That is the heart of a mother and one I know…she loves very much."

* * *

"I'm so proud of you, Firecracker." Jack spoke quietly while the doctor located the medication and he sat beside Nadia on a stool next to the exam table. "I don't think I would have been able to do what you did today…your inner strength amazes me…and I'm so proud of you. Not only because of how well you performed, but especially because of your courage to continue." His eyes felt the prickles of tears, "I'm so proud you're my daughter." He gave her a soft smile and Nadia couldn't help the tears forming in her own eyes.

"Thank you, Daddy." She whispered softly and Jack stood to cup her face gently searching her eyes for just a moment hoping she'd see the love reflected and then kissed her forehead gently.

"Okay, Your Highness," The doctor smiled at them, "I'm afraid this one's got to go deep tissue." He gave her a sheepish smile knowing it wasn't exactly fun to get a shot in your ass.

"Can you help me down?" She asked her father quietly and he easily picked her up by the waist and set her on the ground. "Thank you."

"Your Highness…I'm going to have to have you help me here a minute," He looked at Jack and motioned towards Nadia's track pants while he gently pulled them down just a little, "Now if you can pull her leotard up just a bit to expose the first curvature of the gluteus." Jack didn't hesitate though Nadia's eyes widened for a second thinking about how he'd react but was surprised when he did as the doctor asked and slid the leotard over a bit to expose the top of her little muscular butt cheek and then hissed in a breath when she felt the jab and sting.

"Sorry about the sting. It should go away in just a minute and then you'll be just great feeling little to no pain. No driving or operating heavy machinery though for quite a few hours." He teased her with a laugh seeing as both her arms were useless right now it was a funny but mandatory warning. "I just have to tell you again…how proud I was to be a part of history today. You were spectacular and I'll look forward to telling the story of your greatness to my grandchildren for years to come, Grand Duchess. Not since your mother's Coronation have I felt so especially proud to be Russian. You are part of a spectacular family." He smiled at Jack, Marcelo, Sergei, Alexei and Ryan who stood over her like silent vigils of protection and love. Jack instantly thought of the fact that Nadia was conceived at that Coronation and smiled with love and pride looking over his child.

Nadia too, left with a soft smile on her face and tears in her eyes with the wonder inside at feeling the sparks of actually belonging…that people were proud to be Russian, because of her.

* * *

_***Say***_

When they returned back to the Village after the exhausting day, Irina and Lena, who came from the room next door, worked together to carefully extract Nadia from what was left of her leotard that, was too special to completely destroy by cutting it off and so, ever so gently, they managed to slide it off her shoulders, over her arms and down her body without causing any pain at all before redressing her in her pajama tank top and shorts and then re-securing her immobilizer and getting her situated in bed lying on her back.

Lena kissed her goodnight and congratulated her again with tears of pride in her eyes and then did the same with her mother before heading back to her own room, having the most exhausting day of her Olympics competition on the very last day to complete in tomorrow; the marathon.

Irina slid into bed on the side of Nadia with the broken arm, and snuggled as close as possible without touching, not wanting to hurt her. They lay quietly for a long time when Irina noticed that Nadia wasn't even attempting to close her eyes and then smiled sadly in understanding. "You've never been able to sleep on your back from the moment you were old enough to roll over." She spoke quietly and Nadia nodded softly.

"I'm exhausted but too…" Nadia yawned as if almost on cue, "I don't know what to describe it as… to sleep."

"I know exactly what you're talking about." Irina smiled softly, "I used to get that way all the time after coming down from an adrenaline rush with body exhausted but mind rapid firing with everything that happened and refusing to let me rest." She never used to sleep in those days; only mediate as sleep was a dangerous place worse then the world she was living in.

"Yes." Nadia nodded softly speaking quietly, "That's exactly it. Like from my neck down I'm dead and my head is about to explode with the whir of everything that happened." Her mind was on rapid replay, "How did you make it stop?" She asked after a moment.

"I never really could get it to stop. I'd just continue to exhaust myself until that part of me slowed down too. Running, or working out. Various things and sometimes…just sit somewhere quiet and even though I couldn't slow it down to mediate, sat in the silence to let my brain process everything that happened before filing it away." Irina spoke softly and smiled when she realized, this was the first real conversation she was having with her daughter since…too long. She couldn't even remember when their last real conversation was anymore. The only one that flashed through her mind was the painful one that followed the original horrendous mix-up concerning their Dubeys. "What are you thinking about? Sometimes it helps to say it out loud and get it out of your head as one less thing to think about."

"It keeps going over all my routines tonight but especially the Vault." Nadia was staring at the ceiling fan on low speed as they had the air conditioner on to keep the room cool in the Russian summer. "It's like my brain slowed everything down and I can see my hands planting on the Vault, feel the suede beneath my fingers and then feel the blast inside my arm with the bone breaking and I remembered thinking to continue with the movement or I'd break my neck and I did but…its honestly all a daze and I still don't know why my arm broke and its driving me crazy unable to find my mistake in my review in my head."

"That's because you didn't make a mistake," Irina answered quietly, "You did everything you were supposed to do, had done hundreds of times before…this time, your arm broke. It's not your fault…it just happened." She paused for a moment, "I'm actually surprised it was your forearm instead of your upper arm that you broke before." Her fingers reached out to gently finger with Nadia's poking out the end of her golden cast. "You can watch the replay a hundred times and you'll see…you didn't do anything wrong. It just happened and you made the most of it…landing a perfect Vault with the exception of your broken arm." She gave her a small smile.

"That was by accident as my body was running purely on trained movement instinct." Nadia shook her head softly, "I really had nothing to do with that after my arm broke. It was just doing as the follow through without specific command other then, follow it through and cry later."

"You had everything to do with that. You trained your body and muscles so well they relied on your muscle memory to keep you twisting and flipping perfectly in spite of the pain." Irina smiled with prideful tears, "And your routine on the Uneven Bars…" She faded with choked up emotion still able to see her daughter flying around so brilliantly with one arm, sobbing in tears and swallowing her pain until she pulled through. "You have an inner strength inside you like nothing I've ever seen." She gave her a small smile speaking from her heart.

"I have." Nadia answered softly turning to meet her mother's gaze on the pillow with faces only inches apart, "In you, Mama." She swallowed hard trying to fight back her tears, "You're the strongest person I've ever met in my life…and all I kept thinking as I pulled through the end of that routine to drown out the pain was…the pain you went through to bring me into the world… just so you could see me…if only once…in pain for love." She swallowed again seeing her mother's silently falling tears staring back at her with her dark gorgeous eyes that were her own, "That's what I thought about…how strong my mother was and capable of anything with the love and passion in her heart…so I listened to mine...and it sounded like you." She smiled softly through her tears, wishing she could used her arms to reach up and wipe the stinging tears and her mother read her mind and did just that with the gentle touch of the backs of her fingers.

"And what was it saying?" Irina asked softly inhaling a sigh speaking almost in whisper failing to hold back her tears or emotion.

"To hang on, to fight through the pain and hold onto the love inside…that it won't hurt forever and then there will only be happiness and love as the pain fades away." Nadia sniffled, "And it was right…I didn't really care all that much that I was in so much pain when I finished because I was so happy… and these will heal and the pain won't last forever," She lifted her broken arm ever so slightly not wanting to pull away from where her mother's thumb was brushing gently over her finger tips relishing in the loving contact, "But I'll have the memories of today for the rest of my life…and I wouldn't trade them for anything." She smiled softly with new tears in her eyes thinking about the memories she'd made of these Olympics and especially the ones made with her mother in the quiet of this room, alone and just the two of them in gaining a new understanding and mending broken hearts, strengthening their bond. "I love you, Mama, forever and always. I love you."


	56. Chapter 56

**_AN: Time for some fun :) You should really listen to the music on this one!_**

**_Music for this chapter (on repeat): Girl on Fire _by Alicia Keys_, Hysteria _by Muse_, The Rockafellar Skank _by Fat Boy Slim_, Eclipse _by Paul Oakenfold_, Commotion _by Dance Party_, Take Your Mama Out _by Scissor Sisters**

* * *

FIFTY-SIX

o

**_*Girl on Fire*_**

Lena was running without thinking taking note of the massive crowd along the sidewalks, cheering for her as she passed through the Moscow streets and headed towards the Finish Line. She had no idea what her actual lead was but knew it was significant maintaining her maddening pace, and giving it her all. She saw the massive colorful domes of St. Basil's and pushed on harder knowing the end was near.

"Here she comes!" Nine-year old Lara shouted excitedly seeing her aunt on the jumbo screen set up near the Finish Line in Red Square, following the racers of the marathon.

The entire family was waiting for her at the Finish Line and turned their heads from the screen watching her there to the actual physical form of her, seemingly so little in white, blue, and red across the massive Red Square that was rapidly moving towards them.

Lena saw her family and Antony across the Finish Line and the tears came to her eyes as she sprinted as hard as she could towards them with the tears streaking back into her hair and flew through the finish line jumping on Irina with arms around her neck and legs as she always did finishing a race and kissed and held her with her sweaty body covering her mother's regal one.

"You did it!" Irina kissed her with tears in her eyes holding her just as tightly. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Did I beat your record?" Lena asked with smiling breathless eyes as she put her feet down and leaned back to look at her mother.

"No, you did not. Sorry." Irina shook her head no with a smile and small laugh when Lena said, '_damn_' under her breath, never racing herself or anyone else really, but always her mother as the best runner she knew. "You broke the Olympic Record, though."

When Lena's eyes caught sight of Antony smiling at her from the corner of her vision she turned rapidly and jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his waist in the same way with a laughing smile while he kissed her neck repeatedly and spun them around.

"Congratulations, My Wild Child," He whispered against her face as if they were the only two people there instead of the thousands with all eyes on them and leaned in enough that Lena smiled grabbing his face and kissed him with vigor that had all the crowd roaring with whistles and cheers. "I love you." He whispered against her lips brushing noses.

"Not as much as I love you." She smiled in turn with pounding heart and panting lungs. "I need to keep walking to stretch out or I'm going to cramp up."

"Well, we can't have that for what I plan on doing to you later, My Olympic Goddess." He whispered suggestively next to her ear and made her laugh when he kissed it before setting her down.

When it came time for the medal ceremony, the sight was spectacular in the middle of Red Square with the beauty of St. Basil's behind the athletes and the podium and massive amount of not just medals but all of them Gold, around Lena's neck as she took her place was utterly breathtaking leaving no doubt she was the most successful Olympian ever and at only seventeen, the weight hanging around her neck so great, the medal's ribbons were digging into her skin as she proudly wore her breast plate of gold to receive her eighteenth in a single Olympics.

Her smile was enormous leaning over and the medals flopping forward, swinging loosely in the air while her mother placed the final medal from these games around her neck, kissing her cheeks and then lips and forehead, holding her face in her hands for just a moment with intense gazes before stepping back and Lena stood proud, raising her arm with the flowers in it and acknowledging her adoring fans. The anthem began to play and she gave all her attention to her flag being raised proudly.

"Look at this!" Weiss smiled cupping all her Gold Medals around her neck so that they were back-to-back, "You won your own bar of gold!" He laughed softly looking at the mass of shimmering metal that would equate to a bar of gold and then some. "Way to go, Tiger Lilly!" He kissed her cheeks and threw his arms around her with Godfather-ly pride.

* * *

When the congratulating was over they all agreed to go back to their rooms, get cleaned up and then they were going out to celebrate all of the success they'd had now that everyone was finished competing and the thirty-one Gold Medals and one Silver with the Romanov children earning as many medals as some entire countries becoming the 'thoroughbreds of athletes' in many eyes given their genetic line.

Lena and Antony were the last to cram in the elevator with her mother, sisters, brother and bodyguards while the others waited in the lobby for them all laughing at the impossibly tight cramped space and just as the doors were beginning to close they heard a Russian accent tinted voice speaking the universal language of English shout out, '_Hold the elevator please!'_

Antony reached out and grabbed the door and the young blonde haired man appeared before them and eyes widened to see it so full already and with him…the Imperial Family. "It's okay… I'll get the next one." He choked out the first part in English and the second in Russian realizing whom he was speaking to and knew they understood him.

"No, don't be silly. We'll make room." Irina smiled waving him in and they all laughed cramming back a bit more to make room for the gorgeous young man with dark eyes.

"We won't bite. Promise." Antony smiled stepping over as the young man their age squeezed in the space in front of he and Lena facing everyone and feeling awkward doing so, especially pressed up against Lena, chest to chest, with her boyfriend just behind her, "Well, I won't bite but I can't guarantee they won't…especially this one." Antony smirked kissing Lena's head with his arms wrapped over her shoulders from behind and laughed when they all did.

"Eighth floor please." He spoke quietly to Max the bodyguard wedged in the corner next to the control panel where their floor button of ten was already illuminated.

"You won the Men's 1500m," Irina cocked her head slightly to the side with a giant smile remembering his face and kissing his cheeks as she put the Gold Medal around his neck, "And a Silver in the Men's Marathon. Congratulations…again on your achievements."

Everyone in the elevator smiled offering their congratulations simultaneously and making him laugh and smile shyly with nervousness.

"And congratulations to all of you." He flashed his gorgeous smile to Nadia, Nicholas and then Lena whose breastplate of Gold Medals was hard to miss just coming from the ceremony and now pressed against his own chest with their position. "You had a great run." He smiled softly having watched her races and then the last.

"Arman Reznikov." Irina remembered his name and then eyes lit further with a smile, "Your mother isn't Tanya, is she?" Her eyes widened slightly with sinking heart at the same time.

"Yes, Your Majesty." He nodded softly with a smile and a slightly curious brow of surprise not only to hear she remembered his name but his mother. Having his chest pressed against Lena's was a bit unnerving and he was trying hard to concentrate feeling her heart pounding against his chest looking anywhere but at her in the tightly cramped space.

"She was in my swim class at the Athletics Club when I was fifteen…she was just starting, only five at the time." Irina smiled warmly remembering the bouncing blonde little girl choosing to say how they met instead of what else she knew, "They often had the older swim teams help teach the younger ones…I'll never forget her fearlessness at jumping in the pool." She laughed softly and he smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't get to see her at either of your events." Her voice fell a little with a soft smile, "I would have liked to have said, 'hello." She added quietly.

"I'll pass along the message, Your Majesty. I'm sure she'd love to know you remember her. She was then and is now, very fond of you, too." He smiled softly and the elevator came to a stop, "Have a wonderful day and again, congratulations." His smile glanced around to all of them and then stepped back out the doors when the doors opened at his floor nodding softly with a smile at Lena and turning rapidly as the doors closed.

They exited the elevator, Lena going to her room to get cleaned up, Antony and Nadia going to Nicholas's for a while to wait and Sydney and Jack following Irina into she and Nadia's knowing she wanted to change her clothes after holding her sweat covered daughter in the ones she was wearing.

"Reznikov…Reznikov, T." Sydney repeated to herself trying to rack her brain as the name sounded familiar as she sat on the edge of the bed while her mother started pulling out new clothes and then she remembered, "Oh my God…his mother's file was in where I found yours…in St. Petersburg." She swallowed hard with eyes flashing to Irina, "She was KGB, too?"

"Yes," Irina's eyes went wide wondering how her daughter knew that and sighed with a slight smile. "I don't think I have to remind you to keep this to yourself but yes," She looked at both Jack and Sydney who understood and nodded they wouldn't say a thing understanding this aspect of their past lives, "Just before the end of the Cold War his mother was sent on long deep cover assignments to seduce various foreign operatives around the world." She spoke softly with Jack and Sydney's interest held, "In 1995 she met one specific target in London, an MI:5 agent and married him, her choice… And I have to believe in love, based on her prior missions." She spoke softly pulling off her shirt carefully, "Something was different about him that made her want to stay and as long as she was continuing to pass information onto Russian Intelligence…her position was considered an asset no matter her reasons," Irina swallowed hard knowing Jack's gaze was on her, "In 2000, when she was pregnant, unexpectedly with Arman," She paused with another sigh in realization he was the result of that pregnancy, "Her husband was killed in a car accident…" She saw their eyes flash wide to hers and knew what they were thinking, "If it was an assassination, it wasn't done by the Russian Intelligence Agency. He was a valuable asset."

She shook her head softly with sadness in her eyes; "Anyway…she was released from duty and free to live her life as she pleased under a watchful eye, always of course. But no one had ever known she was a spy and she didn't use an alias with Arman's father, but her real name and heritage of Russian and Swedish with 'family' still living in Russia as it was after the fall of the Soviet Union and '_less threatening to be Russian_," She shrugged her eyebrows and shoulders slightly before pulling the new shirt over her head gracefully, "So when she returned to Russia after his death, very few in London questioned her reasons for doing so knowing that was where her only family lived and she was very pregnant at the time, it made sense to them. No one suspected her of espionage as a spy after the paranoia from the Cold War had passed."

"Wow…" Sydney sat back with stunned wide-eyes learning about yet another Soviet era KGB agent whose life was turned upside down with love in their assignments. "It's sort of a blessing then…her unexpected pregnancy as it gave her a piece of him to hold onto forever." She smiled softly thinking about the young man she saw in the elevator.

"Mmhmm." Irina agreed with a soft smile and nod before speaking again in a quiet tone, "I'm sure it helped greatly to ease some of the pain of his loss being able to look into her baby boys eyes and still see him there." Her eyes flashed to Jack of their own accord and held in time with his for a second, both thinking about the same thing: the same baby and the same tragic event and how things turned out. Tanya had lost her husband forever but held onto their baby whereas Irina lost their baby forever and was now, holding onto her husband forever.

* * *

Antony smiled shutting the door to his mini-apartment and room with Lena hearing the music she had turned up loudly and the shower running, his smile only widened pushing open the bathroom door and stripping off his clothes silently seeing her naked form facing away from him where she stand facing the spray letting it run over her head.

"What are you doing?" Lena turned in the shower asking playfully seeing Antony slip in behind her, "You don't need to shower." He was supposedly waiting for her to get ready in her brother's room last she saw him.

"I'm suddenly feeling very dirty." Antony answered with a waggle of his eyebrows and made her giggle in the way he loved grabbing her hips with his hands and stepping under the water with her. "You're so beautiful." He smiled just before his lips descended on hers under the steamy stream of pelting water.

* * *

Irina knocked softly on Lena's door going to collect her, seeing if she was ready and received no response though she could hear the music muffled through the door.

"Lena…" she called out not wanting to come in unannounced before she turned the knob to enter the room receiving no answer and wondering if her daughter hadn't hear her because of the music.

When she stepped into the room her daughter was no where in sight. The sound from the bathroom immediately whipped her head to the right and through the open door with steam pouring from the room her eyes landed on the mirrors reflection, giving her the view of her daughter's naked back with long wet hair dancing wildly down her back and towel pooling around her hips while Antony's face was buried in Lena's neck, pounding in fluid rhythm into her from the looks of it though his body was hidden by hers and the impending explosion was close according to both their sounds. Irina immediately whipped her gaze away with stunned and amused if embarrassed smile on her face at catching Lena for the first time and rapidly turned to exit the room.

"Is she ready?" Jack asked with Sydney having just come out of her own room and then brows furrowed seeing the look on his wife's face and the way she seemed to be guarding the door.

"No. They're not ready." Irina immediately spit out trying to swallow her grin and bit her lip still rocked with stun at the image she'd just seen...that was quite sexy even she had to admit with a proud smirk to have passed that on to her daughter.

"They?" Jack asked with a slanted eyebrow, "I thought Lena was the only one getting ready and Antony was waiting for her in Nicholas' room?"

"Umm…well, plans changed, I guess. They're not ready." She couldn't stop the held back snort of sharp strangled chuckle from erupting though she tried to hold it back.

"What's going on? And what is taking so long? She's usually ready to go in maximum thirty minutes and it's been almost forty-five?" Jack sighed with hunger eating at him, ready to get some dinner. "What was that?" He asked suddenly hearing what sounded like a strangled scream of sorts coming from behind the door though muted by the music and wooden barrier.

"Jack…they're taking care of some… 'Unfinished Business," Irina tried to keep from smiling and then laughing hearing the sound again and seeing her husband's face lose color and Sydney's instantly turn bright red. "They're finished, when they're finished." She added and then swallowed hard when a combined noise of muted ecstasy rang through the wooden door…. "Which would be now…" She snorted and then burst into laughter.

"Oh God…" Sydney immediately whipped her head down to the ground and then spun around facing the other direction and walking away, "I'm going to wait in the lobby."

"We're coming with you." Irina laughed softly stepping forward and grabbing her husband's hand, threading their fingers, and pulling him along. Jack was too stunned to do anything but blink and follow along trying to process and yet fighting it off at the same time.

"Well you'd think she'd be too exhausted…" He finally spoke shaking his head in the elevator in wonder that she had enough energy left to do much of anything after running a marathon and realized too late he'd spoken out loud when Sydney and Irina both answered him simultaneously with, "Adrenaline rush." And then their gazes met that they'd both spoken out loud and both with the same personal knowledge and then snorted with laughter turning away from each other laughing softly and shaking their heads.

"Well…I can think of no better way I'd want to celebrate my Olympic Gold then making love to the one I love." Irina spoke softly curling into Jack's side in Lena's defense.

"How about having dinner with your dad?" Jack's eyes flashed to hers not upset but not as 'amused' with this revelation as his wife seemed to be.

"I don't think those two things should 'ever' be measured against each other in the same category…_ever_." Sydney shook her head not wanting to think about comparing time with her father to making love to Vaughn and Irina laughed in agreement while Jack's ears burned a bit red.

When Antony and Lena joined them all fifteen minutes later with dry hair and perfectly dressed they both looked 'refreshed' and 'sated'…for those who knew, with delirious smiles of happiness on their faces and unable to stop looking each other in the eyes, truly reminding everyone of Jack and Irina.

"So what took you so long to get ready?" Sydney asked Lena with a smirk in the bathroom of the restaurant in the Square that was their mother's favorite and the one she had taken Sydney to upon their first trip to Moscow together so many years ago, when Lena was just a tiny baby.

"I uh…" Lena stumbled and then cleared her throat washing her hands, "Got distracted." Her eyes flashed up to Sydney's with a smile as she chewed on her lip sharing a knowing glance.

"Yes, I know." Sydney smiled back enjoying teasing her sister about her sex life now, sharing some of that embarrassing limelight of being caught. "I heard you as did Dad and Mom saw you."

"What?" Lena's voice gasped out in a whisper with her vision holding to her sister's in the mirror and all color draining from her face at the thought of being caught for the first time in her life and by both parents and her older sister.

"Yes." Sydney nodded with a wide smirk and turned to face her sister instead of looking at her in the mirror, "About twenty minutes before the two of you came down, Mom went to your room to get you and apparently 'saw' the two of you and came right out coming face to face with Dad and I. She tried to deflect for you but you know Dad." She laughed while her sister's eye's widened no doubt retracing her steps wondering just exactly what it was they were doing when their mother caught her, "The sounds coming through the door made it pretty clear that you were taking care of 'unfinished business." She snorted enjoying this older sibling taunting, something she rarely if ever engaged in. "Next time lock your door, there, Bud." She laughed.

"I didn't plan on- He surprised me in the shower!" Lena tried to defend her actions only making Sydney laugh more with that bit of information, "_Damn!_" She swore softly shaking her head, "I'm surprised Daddy hasn't strangled Antony then."

"Actually, I don't think he's all that bothered by it which is surprising but with everything that happened with Nadia…" She shrugged softly and Lena nodded knowing what she meant, "Though he did wonder how you had the energy to engage in such vigorous activity after running a marathon." Sydney came back with a smile and laughter bringing them out of the somber moment again.

"Oh! I didn't need to know that!" Lena groaned making Sydney, laugh more.

"Don't worry. Mom and I both answered with '_adrenaline rush_." Sydney snickered.

"How long did the three of you discuss my love life for?" Lena shook her head blushing with embarrassment.

"Not long. Only the elevator ride to the lobby." Sydney laughed, "How is it possible that you're embarrassed about your love life? The girl whose conception is known world wide in all its splendid glory?"

"Yeah! But that's their love life, not mine! Whole different story there, sister." Lena shook her head and finally laughed a little with Sydney, "So you just brought this all up to what? Taunt me?"

"Yes, actually." Sydney smiled with a laugh, "I've been taunted about mine or caught by them for years and its fun to pass that torch on."

"You're so kind, big sister, so kind." She gave her a sarcastic smile in return though loving the banter between them. "Ahh," She sighed shaking her head again, "I can't believe we were caught."

"Just be glad it was Mom and not Dad. The sight of you naked in the shower with Antony may have given him a heart attack." Sydney snorted again.

"It wasn't in the shower." Lena smiled slyly preparing to squick her sister out, "It was on the sink counter…after we made love in the shower."

"Oh!" Sydney was slammed with made up visuals while Lena laughed. "You're just as bad as Mom!" She smiled shaking her head at how much her sister did remind her in more then looks of their mother, including her tormenting personality when it came to squicking her out with details of their love encounters.

"Oh please! _Mrs. Almost Shattered The Shower Glass And Told the Entire Thanksgiving Dinner Table!_" Lena taunted with her famous Derevko eyebrow slant, "You're just as bad when you want to be."

"Maybe…but nothing like you and Mom!" Sydney shook her head laughing at remembering that night.

"I don't know." Lena used her questioning tone with a smile, "There have been many incidents that I've caught them either when they were aware but mostly not, that they've never said a thing about them with Mama never taunting me."

"Many incidences?" Sydney balked her at blasé attitude at apparently catching their parents, "How many times have you caught them?"

"Many." Lena laughed shaking her head, "You can't grow up anywhere near those two and not catch them often…in the pool, in the laundry room, in the bathroom, in their room, in the library, in Mama's den, in Daddy's, in the theatre, in the living room, outside in various locations, the stables, the yacht, the ship, the plane…you name it and I've probably caught them at least once there." She smiled shaking her head at their crazy parents.

"And you're not insane?" Sydney couldn't believe all the places listed but could see them as 'challenges' to her parents. "I would have had to use so much mental bleach by now my brain would be goo."

Lena laughed sharply, "No, I'm not insane. I've grown up as you said, my whole life with my own conception being the most celebrated love scene in cinematic history…so it's hard to be embarrassed at catching them other times when I've seen them completely exposed if you will." She shrugged, "I'm not bothered at all by them or their love life…I think its sweet they can't keep their hands off each other." She laughed softly, "And when I was little I just thought they 'really' liked practicing the dance of making love." She snorted, as did Sydney who remembered the day in Fiji when her sister only five then asked her father about that practicing. "And I guess its only fair now that they catch me every once in a while after all those years of catching them." She shrugged with a smile, "All well."

"All well?" Sydney was aghast shaking her head with a smile, "You really are more of Mom's daughter then Dad's if that's your attitude. Pure Derevko…I'm at least a reasonable mixture of them both."

"What?" Lena's smiled widened with laughter, "I'm not a prude and Mama isn't either…so what if she caught me then? She knows that Antony and I have been physically intimate for a year now…can't be that big of a shocker."

"Well, yes, that's true." Sydney smiled shaking her head not believing she was having this conversation with her sister who was so grown up and feeling suddenly old remembering her birth and now hearing about her love life.

"And I know you're not really a prude either. You can't be to have worn the outfits you did on missions and seduce your prey with your hot body." Lena laughed loving the look on her sister's face.

"I never '_seduced_' them!" Sydney's mouth was slightly agape.

"Okay, so you never followed through with the actual act of seducing them but went just far enough without having to actually do that…and that is still powerful seduction and no way a prude could pull that off." Lena was laughing, "You and Mama were the ultimate masters at that art."

"It was our job." Sydney reminded her with a slanted eyebrow.

"True. But you were still very good at that job. Definitely mother and daughter from what I've seen and heard." Lena smiled.

"How did we even get on this topic anyway?" Sydney wanted to change the subject, "Oh yes, I remember! It was your seductive display earlier in the evening."

"What are you two doing in here? Having tea?" Irina laughed walking in the door when they hadn't returned for quite some time.

"We were discussing you catching Lena practicing the dance of making love and all the times throughout the years she's caught you and Dad." Sydney couldn't resist and snorted seeing her mother's eyes flash to her sister's.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace - Two Weeks Later, End of July 2020_

"Okay, now remember… We have to go into this as a unit with our demands… requests." Lena amended herself knowing they couldn't really demand anything of their parents. Nadia and Nicholas were sitting on her bed petting Nana between and nodding along swallowing hard. "And if our parents cave, yours will, too." She turned her attention to her niece Anya. "Remember, united force. Okay…let's go."

The four of them with Nana slowly jumping off the bed in her old age and never far from Lena's side when home, headed downstairs to 'negotiate.' They walked directly into the living room where they knew their parents were watching television and stood in front of the television in a single file line.

"Can we help you?" Irina asked with a bemused smile flicking off the television seeing her children and grandchild were demanding their attention at this moment.

"Yes, you can." Lena spoke as the obvious leader of the pack and the best at negotiating they all knew, "We want to drive."

"You want to what?" Jack asked rapidly with heart starting to pound at the idea.

"You heard me, Daddy. We want to drive…in cars… on our own." Lena's eyebrow slanted with a look that was exactly like her mother and Jack had a hard time arguing with. "We're all old enough to drive…you've taught us how to drive and yet we're not allowed…we're tired of being driven everywhere. We want to drive."

"That's just not possible. The security would be a nightmare." Jack shook his head.

"Daddy, you can have any car made bullet-proof as well as explosives sensitive to pick up any attempted planted bombs." Lena was prepared to argue this point, "Our bodyguards and security details can follow behind us just as they do when you or Mama, or any of you other adults drive your selves around. We're all adults so why aren't we given the same freedom?"

Her argument was a good one and he wanted to respond with 'you're not old enough' but knew that would fail as technically they were, and had proven themselves mature beyond their years again and again when put to the test.

"Because you've never learned defensive driving techniques to evade pursuers like we have working in espionage and being big targets as you are being the children of the Tsar and grandchild it would be like throwing live bait out there for people to try and snag." Jack finally found his very good argument and felt confident that it would stick.

"Then teach us evasive driving," Lena countered with the face of calm and rational like that was the simple solution. She'd been prepared for that rebuttal as well. Her mother always taught her never to go into negotiations or battle without being prepared for every possibility, "You can't honestly expect that we'll 'never' drive in our entire lives?" Her eyebrows slanted looking over all four of them slowly with intense eyes and the other three beside her doing the same as part of the united force, "Don't you think it's best if we do that you be the ones to teach us? Who better then you? The world's best?"

Irina was pinching her bottom lip in thought thinking over all that her daughter had said, "You make a good argument but knowing what we do about the world and what people are capable of, its hard to just decide one day that you're all ready to drive on your own…and leave us with peace of mind that if you got into a situation where you were being pursued by someone intending harm you'd be able to get away." She spoke in the calm, rational tone suddenly becoming the negotiator on the parents' side and everyone watched in fascination watching Lena sit on the footstool just in front of her mother directly facing her, leaning forward slightly and just a couple of feet apart considering what her mother said for a moment tugging in the same manner her mother had been before on her lower lip.

Irina negotiating with Lena was like Irina negotiating with herself, in looks, mind and mannerisms to everyone who'd ever been witness to it over the years.

"Then I purpose a test, Professor." Lena answered coming to a rapid rebuttal thinking on the fly, "You teach us all evasive driving and at the end you give us a test. If we don't meet your qualifications enough to keep your minds at ease while we're driving alone, then you invoke the right to say we're not ready." She paused, "And in six months, we have another lesson and another test with the same rules. If we are satisfactory in our abilities, you let us drive, if not, then another six months…and in the meantime if that is the case, you keep teaching us one day a weekend every other week so that we can practice."

'_Damn, damn, damn_,' Irina internally swore both impressed and slightly annoyed at how good her daughter was and cursing herself in that moment for teaching her how to do this.

"Okay…but before we agree to this, there have to be rules made." Irina leaned forward with elbows resting on knees and Lena did the same bringing their faces even closer.

"Agreed." Lena had a few of her own rules in mind.

"First being that what we decide, is final after the test." Irina countered with intense eyes hinting at a smile.

"Accepted on the condition that we're made completely aware of what we'll be tested on exactly, before we begin any lessons or the test." Lena countered back and smiled slightly seeing her mother's raised eyebrow obviously impressed. "Shown the actual test and not just told."

"Accepted condition." Irina nodded ever so slightly with the smile tugging at her lips, "Another condition pending deal is that if at anytime we deem it too dangerous to drive on your own if you pass the test, you will respect our decision without argument."

"With probable cause for concern proved, condition accepted." Lena answered back with a smile, "We trust your judgment is in our best interests, we'd just like to know the 'why' you came to that decision."

"Agreed." Irina nodded. "Condition exception being that if you're out and your security detail or bodyguards at anytime deem its too dangerous for you to drive at the time you will do what they say immediately and without question or proof required." Her eyebrow arched again.

"Accepted exception." Lena answered back rapidly as their negotiation picked up speed in a fascinating game of wit ping-pong.

"Same rule stands you are not allowed to ride in the car with anyone else not approved of by us even after you've been cleared to drive on your own." Irina leaned a slight bit more forward. "If Antony wants to drive you, he has to go through the same lessons and pass the same test. That goes for all of you and your would be or already significant others now and in the future. No condition exceptions to this rule." Her voice was low and like steel leaving no room for argument.

"Accepted rule as stands with no exceptions." Lena nodded her acceptance with one small but rapid nod.

"Another condition pending deal is that you leave notice 'before' you go with someone at the palace or house or anyone in the family that is not going with you as to where you'll be going and for how long approximately you'll be gone for in the event something should happen or we need to get a hold of you rapidly and you're not answering your phones." Irina challenged any rebuttal with a slanted eyebrow.

"What if there is no one home when we want to leave?" Lena asked rapidly with head cocked slightly to the side.

"Then call our phones…again, before you leave." Irina flashed back.

"And if you don't answer?" Lena exhausted every possibility leaving no loopholes.

"Leave a message with my secretary or on our voice mails with the details of when you're calling, where you're going and with whom as well as when you think you'll be returning." Irina had to smile slightly at her daughter with pride.

"Condition accepted." Lena nodded sharply.

"Another condition is that we have the right to test your abilities at any time from here after." Irina pinched her lip again.

"Condition acceptance pending on the further explanation of 'we have the right." Lena's eyebrow slanted, "Are you personally going to test us in the car with us? Or have someone else test us by suddenly surprising us in a faked pursuit?" That thought got her heart pumping wildly and everyone else's.

"Us personally and no faked pursuits. They would risk your lives unnecessarily." Irina answered immediately with furrowing brows not wanting to add any more danger into this situation. "If a test on your pursuit abilities is in question someone will be in the car with you and it will also be one of us doing the pursuing but you'll be made fully aware it is a test and not to take any extremely drastic measures in your evasion."

"Condition accepted." Lena nodded again with her own amused smile she was trying to hold back. "Do we have a deal?"

"Deal." Irina held her hand out and smiled when Lena shook it once and the rest of them behind her smiled with, celebratory, 'yes's.' "Give me three days of time for us," She pointed to the other three on her side of the imaginary line, "To come up with a test and then prepare the police forces of St. Petersburg for such and then we'll begin." She gave them all a smirk of a smile seeing their eyes widen slightly at the mention of preparing the police forces of St. Petersburg for the test.

"What about me?" Nadia asked quietly indicating her casted broken arm.

"You can learn the lessons along with everyone else and when your cast comes off, you'll do your test drive then." Irina smiled softly at her.

Things had greatly improved between she and Nadia during the Olympics but once they'd gotten home, Irina returned to sleeping in her bed with Jack and after a few days home, Nadia had seemed to withdraw a bit again with no Olympics to prepare for, unable to even workout with gymnastics because of her injuries and the down and alone time was not good for her but Irina was determined not to let her slide back that far again.

She'd included her and engaged her as much as she possibly could, spending as much time together as possible and keeping Nadia busy with various things helping her with her work and the thing that seemed to light her face up every time without fail, was spending time volunteering at the orphanage. She loved spending time with the kids and she was one of their biggest heroes now after her spectacular performance at the Olympics, which the older ones got to see as part of a special field trip to Moscow for the 'once in a lifetime event.' Irina couldn't imagine not letting them spend a few days taking in events when it was their home country hosting.

When the children had all left the room the four of them looked at each other and Jack swallowed hard turning his head to look at his wife.

"So in this test are you going to be the pursuer or am I?" He asked wondering about who was going to be doing what to show them what was expected of them to pass.

"I think you will be, Sweetheart," Irina rested her head on her fisted hand leaning on the couch arm with a sexy smile, "You've always been pretty good at pursuing me."

"And you've always been good at evasion." Jack immediately answered and then smiled, leaning over and kissing her lips. "Why did you have to teach her to be such a damn good negotiator?" He asked with a soft laugh at all the ways Irina was teaching Lena to one day become a good leader now coming back to '_bite them_.'

"I think this is going to be kind of fun." Sydney smiled the more she thought about it, having not had a good adrenaline charged car chase in years, "_Mom's School of Evasive Driving_." She giggled and it turned into a full-blown laugh with Vaughn and then Jack at the thought of Irina teaching drivers education.

"So how does one prepare the city for what's bound to be chaos and keep people safe, Empress?" Jack asked leaning back against the sofa with a bemused smile, thinking it was actually going to be kind of fun as Sydney had said, to be matching wits in this way with his wife again, especially challenging since they knew each other so well.

An Imperial announcement was made through every media source in St. Petersburg and the surrounding suburbs and country towns that a series of driving lessons were to happen, to teach the Imperial children evasive driving techniques for their safety and provided rough estimates of dates and times to forewarn everyone that if on the road, or even near it, they could find themselves in the middle of a lesson.

If that were the case, they were told not to panic as every precaution would be taken to attempt to ensure that no civilian was hurt in the process. All property damaged by the lessons would be replaced by the Tsar's personal funds. It soon became the hottest topic in town, everyone understanding 'why' such a lesson was required for the Imperials, whom two of had already been kidnapped in their lives, and many made plans to either be on or off the road those days, hoping to be part of the action driving to work, or to happily sit by and cheer when they flew by, excited to see this aspect of the their amazing royals again after years of 'calm.'

"Come on guys, we tackled the Olympics and won…surely we can handle _Mama's School of Evasive Driving_." Nicholas tried to sound optimistic as he looked over at the three beside him squished into the back seat of the little black Mercedes normally part of the security detail that their mother would be driving in today's example of the 'test.' He was sitting in the back against the door with Nadia beside him with her awkward cast covered arm heavier then her little arm lying in a sling across her chest, Anya beside her and Antony, who was a trooper for willing to go through this just to be able to drive Lena on their dates instead of riding in the limo. He knew that was odd since most people would love to ride in a limo to all of their dates but there was something to be said for 'car freedom.' Lena was in the front passenger seat.

"_Riiiiiiiight._" Lena whispered with elongated sarcasm seeing their mother walking out of the palace in black leather.

"Whoa…" Antony's eyes were bugging seeing Irina in the form fitting black leather top she was currently wearing and instantly flashing back to the first time he saw her on the train wearing something very similar and not a day since.

"Black leather only means one thing…" Nadia looked back and forth between her siblings, "We're in for a serious ride."

"How serious?" Antony asked rapidly with wide-eyes seeing the four of them all nodding in agreement and remembering the ferocity of the woman he saw on the train that day and how immortal she seemed after being shot in the chest and not dying in front of his little bewildered eyes remembering her explaining the 'magic vest.'

"Well, according to Sydney, Julian and Daddy…when Mama whips out the leather, her kind of hell is about to be unleashed." Nadia's eyes were zeroed in on her mother talking with her father, and everyone else who suddenly congregated around.

"Oh no!" Anya gasped seeing not only her grandparents but parents and Uncle Julian all moving towards separate cars, "Three of them after us?" She gaped with wide-eyes seeing there were going to be three cars pursuing them. "They're going to make it impossible to pass this test…" She shook her head, "We should have known." She sighed heavily watching as her grandparents continued to talk to each other a few feet from their car.

"Not impossible," Lena sighed, "But improbable." She was quiet a moment, "_Screw that!"_ She suddenly found her stubborn ambition, "We're going to take whatever they throw at us and throw it right back! Scare the shit out of them that we're not afraid of whatever insanity they've got planned! Nobody hold back or be scared to do whatever it is they're demanding of us! We can do this! We got their other genes! I'm sure the evasive driving one is in there somewhere…its just never been tested!" She smiled with a soft laugh hoping that was the case and laughing inside if it turned out to be true.

"Ah excuse me here but I'm not blood related. No freakishly amazing genes in this body!" Antony pointed to himself waving up and down at his torso.

"I don't know about that." Lena smiled at him with a naughty look chewing on her lip and devouring him with her hungry gaze.

"Okay here she comes!" Nadia alerted them of her mother's impending arrival, "Cool, calm and collected right? No one's going to get hysterical." She inhaled and then let it out slowly.

"Are we all ready?" Irina smiled at all of them individually getting into her seat with raging impending hellfire written in her eyes and all over her grin.

"How many cars are going to be chasing us?" Lena asked watching her mother start the car.

"Three…as there is rarely if ever just one car that will try to sabotage you. They work in teams." She nodded knowing from her own personal experience and the last being when Lena was a baby and she and her daughter were kidnapped by the bastardass Cuvee.

"Who's driving them? Daddy and who else?" Lena asked again in rapid fire while they started to pull out of the driveway heading towards the gates.

"Your sister and brother." Irina smiled like a Cheshire cat; "Michael is riding with Sydney and Eric with Julian and Katya with your father."

"Aunt Katya?" They almost all asked simultaneously in disbelief with wide-eyes.

"Why is she going with Dad?" Nicholas asked with his own slanted eyebrow of curiosity.

"She said she wouldn't miss this for the world. Being in a car chase with me, was on her _Life's List of Things To Do_ and she never thought she'd ever have the chance now that I'm out of that lifestyle but this is her chance and she's jumping on it." Irina laughed at thinking about her sister's face when she told her of this plan and her enthusiasm about '_living in what her life used to be like for just a moment with the high energy action packed adrenaline rushes._' Almost dying had made her want to live more and take more chances at the things she was always scared of doing before.

"You're going to try to make this impossible for us to pass, aren't you?" Lena looked at her with an annoyed slanted brow as they waited for the massive gates to the estate to open.

"Not impossible," Irina shook her head, "But improbable." She whipped her head to the side with a smile, teasing them but they didn't know that. She wanted them to succeed, but she wasn't going to make it easy as it wouldn't do them any favors. They needed to learn and be able to use these lessons if they were really going to help keep them safe.

"I knew it." Lena shook her head with her own smile of determination as she turned her head to look out the opposite window, acting defeated before ever beginning waiting for her time to strike.

"Buckle up if you aren't already." Irina commanded pulling out onto the street and there was a scramble behind her in the crowded seat as everyone attempted to locate their buckles.

"Can you help me please?" Nadia asked her brother unable to secure her buckle with her broken arm and cast in the way. He immediately secured hers before reaching over his shoulder for his own where he sat behind Lena and took a deep breath with pounding heart hearing his mother engage the door locks…probably so they didn't fall out.

"All right! Let _Mama's School of Bad Ass Driving,_ begin!" Nicholas smiled with pumped fist and earned a bunch of 'yeahs' and enthusiasm with laughs and head shaking from Irina.

Irina drove normally until she was on the open road feeling the nervousness roll off of them in waves and had to snicker just before slamming her foot onto the gas and shifting, whipping over into the other lane and oncoming traffic to pass a slower car.

"And so it begins." She smiled. "Hold on and pay attention."

**_*Hysteria*_**

"Here we go." Jack smiled watching Irina dramatically pick up speed and fly around the car in front of her on the road at just the right moment getting impossibly close to on coming traffic to give her those extra seconds while he had to wait to pass and let the car by. "Hang on." He spoke to Katya whose eyes were like saucers.

Irina wasn't paying any attention to what her speed was increasing to but for those who could see the needle their eyes were widening watching her go way beyond 120 mph and keep climbing, burying the speedometer needle while flying past other cars like a bullet from a gun and causing a snake like whipping action of black cars behind her as her pursuers followed the action. It didn't take any time at all at that speed to be inside city limits with Irina flying through red lights as bystanders stopped what they were doing immediately realizing who it was and what was going on watching as the other cars chased her down and started cheering.

"There is something so disturbing about the fact they're cheering her on… and yet not." Sydney laughed veering off as the road opened to more lanes with each of the three cars taking a different lane.

Irina smiled knowing a wide birth of area was coming up in which to pull a fast sliding turn and lose the three following her so closely or at least give her a wider margin and weaved in and out of cars like they were standing still shifting and slamming her feet into the pedals just before the turn and cranking the wheel sliding the car sideways at least two hundred feet while her cars occupants screamed with everyone smashing into Antony against the door and she laughed flying forward and eyes flashing to the rearview mirror to see they anticipated her turn but not soon enough and she had a wider margin between them now.

"Holy–feck!" Nicholas screamed with a wide smile whipping his head back to see the others and heart pounding madly. "Sorry, Mama, but that was insane!"

Irina saw the little arched bridge ahead for one way traffic and shifted higher flooring it again hitting the crest of the bridge and sending them soaring through the air, everyone screaming again, and her laughing as the moment she touched down she was whipping the wheel again to turn down a smaller avenue following the river. Jack was too close behind her and hadn't anticipated the turn and missed her but Julian and Sydney saw her turn and followed just after while Jack split off down the parallel street.

"Oh, Daddy missed you!" Lena cooed with excitement and proud her mother had misled her father.

"He'll find me again." Irina smirked knowing her husband all too well and sure enough it wasn't long before Jack came flying out of no where sliding sideways in the car in his rapid turn and just missing them while everyone screamed again as the two cars ran parallel for a bit with Irina slightly ahead and doing just what he wouldn't expect her to do in this situation she rapidly stepped on the brakes for just a moment letting him fly by her as she whipped the car to the right behind him and slammed on the gas and brake again flying around a street corner that he just flew by.

"Damnit!" Jack hissed hitting the steering wheel and cranking hard in the next second flying around a different corner.

"She's good!" Katya's smile was raging having the time of her life being scared to death with literally every turn.

"That's an understatement." Jack huffed and eyes rapidly scanning for her as the cross streets flew by. "She didn't elude capture for two decades by being just _good_."

"She's never been caught, Jack." Katya smirked over at him with sisterly pride in Irina, "She turned herself in."

Irina's eyes were scanning as well and took note of the fact she had only one car behind her now and knew Jack was to the left of her but Julian had veered off and knew they were going to try to corral her and cut her off at the intersection ahead where the three streets fed into each other and smiled doing the unexpected again and just before the intersection slammed on her brakes with the gas again and cranked the wheel sliding rapidly around and lifting the car onto two wheels slightly to make the tight turn and saw Sydney's wide eyes as they came full 360 degree turn and headed straight for her dodging to the right side of the street and avoiding her trying to trap them by jumping onto the sidewalk and mowing over everything in her way: fruit and vegetable stands, newspaper bins and more sending everything flying into the air while all the kids in her car were screaming and cheering.

Julian growled with an amused smile, "I knew she was going to do that too, bloody hell!" He cranked the wheel of his car flying past Jack doing the same and the two did an intricate bypassing dance to end up on the opposite sides of the street heading the same direction and almost parallel with Sydney who'd gotten turned around as well though they were now well behind Irina.

**_*The Rockafellar Skank*_**

"Damn! Mama, you're amazing!" Nicholas yelped with excitement always hearing how good she was and getting a firsthand glimpse of just how amazing.

"I second that, Your Majesty." Antony smiled wildly loving every second.

She tore back around and weaved around cars like a serpent with her fluid skill and saw her chance to loose them even more, jumped over the side walk and flew through the grassy knoll to get to the cross street and changed direction yet again by sliding into a turn the minute she hit the pavement, again going back and at an angle from them on the 'y' split, and passing under the street bridge in the opposite direction they were just coming from on another street.

"There she is!" Katya squealed pointing towards the back end of the black Mercedes she saw disappearing just as they came out and Jack took the same path over the grass. They made the turn just in time to see Irina flying over another bridge getting air quite a distance a head of them with people standing on the sides of the road now cheering on the insanity all becoming aware quite rapidly the Imperials were in the city.

Irina turned rapidly off the road once again and everyone screamed loudly leaning back when she drove immediately down a rather steep inclined levy where storm surge usually washed in and was now mostly dry except for a few inches of water right in the middle.

"Where the hell did she go?" Jack screamed in frustration but quite amused in this game of cat and mouse and eyes flashing everywhere spotting the black car below gaining quite a mass of distance, "Devil woman!" He gritted his teeth, "Hold on!" He squealed to Katya flying down the sloped wall while she was screaming.

"There's Sydney!" Antony yelped looking up to the left and seeing Vaughn's form in the passenger window of the black car above them on the road running parallel to the wash, "How the hell did she find us?"

"My daughter is very good." Irina smiled with pride, as did Anya at seeing her mother in action for the first time, as well.

Irina immediately jerked up to the right ramping up in the massive incline and crashing through the metal chain link fence to escape with everyone screaming as the fence clung to the car for a second with sparks flying and then released, though their screaming never ceased when she went flying through the massive backyard of someone's property and blasted through their tall wooden fence into their neighbors yard, hitting their above ground pool and collapsing it sending a wash of water raging over and behind them and slamming through their fence before finding the street and cranking it back hard to bring the car sliding around again and heading in the direction behind and opposite of Jack and Sydney though Julian was still out there somewhere.

"You just decimated those people's fences and pool!" Lena balked at her mother taking note of the windshield wipers her mother just turned off to get rid of the tooth pick size soggy wood splinters of what was left.

"I'll buy them a new one." Irina shrugged with a determined face flying around more cars, "When your life depends on it property is nothing. Property is replaceable… you are not. Remember that."

Jack followed her path of destruction shaking his head and laughing while the people whose property she just tore through now popped their heads out of their windows waving with excitement that she'd blasted their property as if it had been baptized by her…their beloved crazy Tsar.

"Mama, Julian!" Nadia attempted to point uselessly in a direction her mother couldn't see but saw him anyway coming towards her from the opposite direction and Irina tore off road again flying through some bushes and through the park where people were running to get the hell out of the way but still be able to watch and cheer when she went air born again on the small hill took out a wooden park bench and a trash can as she slid onto the road and successfully evaded Julian going off in the opposite but angled direction again into the docks area she knew well with massive warehouses.

"Now you seek cover!" Irina saw her opening and took it whipping into doorway of the large massive structure and squealing to a stop just before hitting a massive sorting bin for fish and barely had the car in park before jumping out and running to the wall and pushing the giant yellow button that started closing the heavy metal doors while at least fifty bewildered and wide-eyed fish packers looked on.

"Whew!" She smiled with a sigh tucking her hair behind her ear when the door was closed and looked back to smile at the men. "Hello…I hope you don't mind too much but we're going to hide out here for a little while."

The men blinked hard and did again taking note of their beautiful Tsar in black leather before them and then to the mangled car she just brought to a screeching halt after bursting through the door at high speed.

"Evasive Driving Lesson today, Your Majesty?" One of the men was brave enough to ask with an impish smile and blushed when Irina nodded with a raging smile.

The kids slowly got out of the car in stunned awe before squealing at how insane that just was. Irina had lost the others in a little over ten minutes.

"Mama, you're incredible!" Nadia's eyes were impossibly wide having no idea how she'd ever repeat a performance like that and not really caring if she ever drove or even kept failing the test, just so she could keep riding with her mother like that.

"She's gone." Jack sighed shaking his head at having no idea where she'd gone to after her path of destruction ended and he had to smile driving around aimlessly in the pathways of the warehouses.

"Damn it!" Weiss slapped his leg with a frustrated smile and then laugh as they drove around searching for her as well. "She's too damn good." He snorted and started laughing, "Those kids are never going to get to drive."

"I bet they will." Julian smiled thinking back; "She did the same to me…teaching me how to drive evasively. Scared the bloody shit out of me at replicating her driving for the first time but she was and _is_…an amazing teacher. She'll teach them and I guarantee you…at the end of the week, they'll all be allowed to drive."

"Well, she's gone." Vaughn sighed with a laughing smile, "Now what do we do?"

"We call my Dad and Julian to find out where she is or at least where they are." Sydney sighed in defeat shaking her head with a smile and loving today's events.

"Yeah…" Jack answered his phone, knowing who it would be, "We lost her, too." He spoke before she even asked the question. "We're over by the docks and warehouses. I'll park by the giant red crane on the right side of the pier and wait for you." He paused and then smiled laughing softly, "Yes…she is infuriatingly good." He repeated his daughter's description before hanging up.

"I always knew that Irina was amazing at this kind of thing." Katya shook her head softly with wide pride filled eyes, "Heard about it…then saw it recreated onscreen and thought I '_knew_' how amazing but nothing compares to seeing her actually LIVE and in action."

"Nothing," Jack answered flatly and then smiled with a devilish grin at the duality of his answer's intentions, "Compares to her LIVE and in action." He laughed softly when Katya started laughing deeply swatting at his arm.

Irina had moved the car for the fish packers to allow them to keep sorting and get out of their way, instead turning it around inside the large area and facing it towards the massive doors sitting on the heavily damaged and scratched hood of the Mercedes calling her husband while the children talked excitedly behind her recanting their crazy adventure.

"She's taking pity on us." Jack smiled leaning against the door of their car by the crane where Julian and Sydney had pulled up just before to meet him. He answered the phone with a smile in his voice, "Yes, My Love…"

"Do you admit defeat?" Irina smiled on the other end and laughed softly when he said 'yes' immediately, "Good…now come find me." Her voice was warm and lovingly thinking about him coming after her at any time in any way. "We're in Warehouse Forty-Seven." She smiled again and clicked the phone shut before he could say more.

When the three cars pulled up to the front of the warehouse the giant door immediately began to rise and Irina was sitting on the damaged hood, leaning back on her arms looking quite pleased with herself and the kids perched on the hood as well with giant smiles.

Jack immediately started to mini-applaud her and the others followed suit breaking into laughter.

"You still got it." He smiled leaning over and kissing her lips.

"I still got it." She smiled softly with a soft laugh and kissed him again with hands grasping the side of his head to give him a series of mini-kisses.

"So do you guys think you'll be able to do what she just did?" Weiss smiled folding his arms over his chest teasing them a bit more now armed with the information Irina had every intention of teaching them so they'd be able to drive.

"Oh yeah! Sign me up! I want to go first on the test at the end of the week!" Nicholas laughed but completely serious, "Course we'll have go back to that first turn and retrieve my heart and then pick up my stomach after that first bridge jump and lungs on the side of the steep levy and I'll be all set." He smiled and everyone laughed.

"Rina, you should have seen the people whose property you destroyed waving and cheering so enthusiastically as we raced after you!" Katya laughed still in disbelief, "They didn't seem angry at all, in fact they looked absolutely thrilled that you'd crashed through their land."

"Did they?" Irina laughed softly, "Well then I'll have to send them all something that says 'Thank you for the support' along with the cards of apology and forms for them to fill out damage reports so I can replace their goods."

"You kept the damage to a fair minimum, Mama," Julian shifted his weight with a smile, "I'm fairly surprised considering your whirlwind of destruction taking things out to block your pursuers paths previously in our life."

"Yes, but…this is my city and country and I don't exactly want to decimate it… completely." Irina laughed softly picking a wedge piece of wood from the hood of the car.

* * *

**_*Eclipse *_**

Nicholas, Nadia, Lena, Anya, and Antony all stood with wide-eyes on one of the streets weaving through the massive estate and took note of the 'obstacles' that had been placed all over as part of their 'lessons.' Giant wooden fences, chain link fences, park benches, cars, ramped bridges, fruit stands complete with real fruit and vegetables, and several other items were going to be in their path. They'd just been schooled in how to pass using other cars of oncoming traffic as buffers to give extra time and they'd all done well with that.

"Next lesson," Irina paced a bit in front of them and then stopped to look at them all, "You need to be able to drive without fear…meaning you mustn't hesitate to tear through fences or take out whatever is in your way in order to escape." She smiled, "This is the fun part! Don't look so worried." She laughed softly at their faces.

'_Irina's School of Bad Ass Driving'_ had become the source of entertainment for the week and the fest of the family and friends had set up 'camp' of sorts a safe distance away sitting in lawn chairs with drinks and snacks with t-shirts printed by Weiss sporting the slogan.

"If you would have told me twenty years ago that one day I'd be sitting on a lawn chair with a cold one in hand watching Irina Derevko teach evasive driving to teenagers in Russia as my source of entertainment, I would have had you committed." Kendall laughed shaking his head with Ben nodding beside him.

"I know. When Jack told me on the phone I almost choked on my drink and knew we couldn't miss watching this for the world." Ben twisted the top off his beer bottle.

"I'm a bit jealous." Judy watched intently as Lena got into the car first with her mother, "I want to be a pupil in _Irina's School of Bad Ass Driving_." She laughed with everyone calling it what the children had been calling it.

"Me too." Karen nodded enthusiastically, "Do you think we could get her to give us some lessons? Or at least take us along during one of her insane driving trips?"

"Oh you should!" Katya's eyes widened with a smile nodding 'yes.' "It's like no other ride you've ever been on. My heart still pounds thinking about it! And I wasn't even in the car with her, just chasing her!"

"You're more than welcome to ride with me at the end of the week when we give them the tests." Jack smiled with an amused grin seeing their eyes widen.

"Oh yes! Count me in!" Karen smiled and Ben looked at her like she was crazy.

"Me too." Judy smiled, "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Oh brother." Kendall shook his head and then laughed, "I knew there was no way this family could ever really settle down and live any semblance of a normal life."

"Kendall, whatever are you talking about?" Jack looked at him with a smirk, "We define '_normal_."

"Maybe to the insane!" Kendall laughed shaking his head.

"I think we should put my husband in the car with Irina. I think he's scared." Judy smiled teasing him with a saucy grin.

"No thanks, and I'm not scared…just sane." Kendall shook his head, "No."

"I always had the feeling riding with Irina, when we only knew her as Laura then," Karen smiled softly, "So many years ago…that she would have made an excellent race car driver. Just going to the supermarket with her was a thrill ride."

"That, I do remember!" Sydney's eyes perked up sitting forward in her chair, "I remember doing the '_vroom vroom'_ noises in the backseat when we were at stop lights and then yelling, 'Go Mommy!' When it turned green." She laughed.

"Why don't I remember her driving like that?" Jack furrowed his brow in thought.

"Because whenever the two of you would go anywhere together, you were always driving." Karen smiled at him, "It's a shame because she was something else. If you think riding in a car with her now is thrilling, you should have been in a car with her when she was in her early twenties…Good Lord!" She laughed, "I'd never had so much fun and she wasn't driving anything like this…taking out fences or anything…just the way she moved so fluidly on the freeways was heart stopping."

**_*Commotion*_**

"Here we go!" Vaughn smiled watching as Lena came flying down the road and ramped over the little bridge getting airborne while they all cheered and then watched as she blasted right through her first fence, causing the wood to explode. One after another she took out stuff until there was nothing left to destroy and then jumped out of the car when it stopped to thundering applause with a giant smile on her face loving that adrenaline high.

One after another the kids blasted through stuff as teams working for Irina moved in and replaced the destroyed items preparing for the next.

The second half of the day's lesson was how to make high-speed turns and left everyone breathless and screaming at some point watching the young drivers pull off insane maneuvers again and again that were more then a bit frightening at the beginning but eventually were pulling them off with great ease.

Day Two of lessons had them combining the high-speed turns with the obstacles and Day Three added in one car chasing them driven by Jack while they were instructed where to go and what to do from Irina's position as the instructor in the passenger seat and on Day Four another car was added driven by Julian with Irina remaining mostly silent beside them except for when they found themselves in trouble without an out and she'd point one out.

Day Five she remained completely silent not offering any help as well as a third car added driven by Sydney and if they found themselves in trouble and were caught then they had to start over. They were all thrown for a loop and groaned when after the sun set, she pulled them all back out and made them do it under the cover of darkness reminding them they could be pursued at any time of the day and needed to be prepared to handle it at night, too.

Day Six had 'untouchable' obstacles thrown in such as mannequins of people that if hit in anyway it was an automatic fail and they had to start over immediately. And finally the day came for their tests.

All of them would ride with whomever was being tested, to see lesson after lesson in different situations and while one was driving the other four were crammed in the backseat and Irina was a constant in the passenger seat. The great thing about this was that whomever went last, had the advantage of watching the three before them and learning that much more from their test and the major disadvantage was that whomever went last, was going to be doing their test in the twilight and then dark.

**_*Take Your Mama Out All Night*_**

They drew straws as to who would go first and Lena was the first one up. She took a deep breath climbing into the car and then driving out of the driveway waiting for the gates to open she looked over at her mother and Irina winked at her clasping her forearm with a slight squeeze and head nod of support, knowing she could do this.

The moment she passed the starting marker Lena was flying around a car just as she was taught into oncoming traffic and narrowly sliding back to her side of the road gaining those extra seconds and shifting up gaining speed and weaving in and out before flying into the city limits where people were anticipating their arrival knowing today was test day and some had signs posted or holding on to them encouraging the young Imperials on while cheering. She flew through two red lights just in front of cross traffic, bolted over the grassy knoll and took out bushes and a park bench sliding into a turn and turning off road onto the gravel lanes beside the rail lines using the cover of the lining tall bushes before peeling off threw the mass of green leaves and flying out onto the cross street spinning around and tearing off down the street.

Antony was drawn next and soared through the air when he ramped off the bridge and then held on when he whipped the wheel pulling a 360 turn and had them on two wheels with his wild grin.

Anya was third in line and plummeted down the levy slope going through the metal fence on her way down this time and using the water to help her hydroplane into a rapid turn to escape her pursuers before ramping out again and blast through another fence and backyard and finding the street again.

Nicholas had a wicked grin as the sun began to set and he took over in leading them on the most wild goose chase yet and leaving the most destruction in his path taking out everything in sight to block their path behind him and his car cheered when he hit the back of a truck with plastic pipes on a side swipe and caused the entire load of hundreds of tubing to go rolling and flying everywhere creating quite the diversion. He flew through the open gates of the massive _Palace Square_ in front of the _Winter Palace_ and sliding in a turn heading under the massive _Triumphal Arch_ and bursting onto _Nevsky Prospect_, the busiest street in St. Petersburg and sending people running and screaming the same time they were cheering and laughing at being involved in the Imperial lessons, the most talked about thing currently buzzing around the city.

The grin on his face said he was taking extreme pleasure in the test and Irina had a feeling he could have lost his pursuers quite some time ago, he just enjoyed the chase and that was something that obviously was inherited. He flew around _St. Isaacs Square_, sliding past the Cathedral steps and heading out weaving in and out of cars over the _Siniy Most_ dodging cars crossing the world's widest bridge. The chase continued and those in the backseat screamed while Irina gasped when he tore off the road and headed straight towards the massive columns of the _Kazan Cathedral_ and drove through the tight space between them flying around and heading towards the docks ready to lose them for good.

"Are you having fun?" Irina asked him finally seeing him laughing and couldn't help but smile even if he made her heart pound with his wild risk taking, he was 'her' son.

"Oh yeah…best test I've ever taken." Nicholas laughed flying over the bridge and into the warehouse district.

"What are you doing?" Lena screeched at him seeing her brother heading straight toward the end of the docks and towards a massive shipping freighter.

"Taking cover." He laughed like the devil while they all screamed and Irina's knuckles went white gripping the door as he drove straight into a shipping crate and slammed on his brakes inside the massive structure just as door dropped behind them.

"Did I pass?" He turned the car off and looked excitedly over to his mother whom he couldn't see very well in the pitch black with the exception of the headlights of the car reflecting off the loaded palates in front of him.

"Yes-" Irina's reply was cut short when they felt the crate shift and then swing. "Oh God…"

"Mama, what's happening?" Nadia asked immediately feeling the shift inside of her.

"We're being loaded." Irina gasped quietly.

"Loaded where?" Anya screeched with pounding heart still racing from the chase and now the feeling of the walls closing in.

"Onto the cargo ship, I'd imagine." Irina looked around and then they felt a massive jolt when their crate was settled and released.

"Way to go, Nicolai!" Nadia hissed at him not at all liking this situation. "We're going to end up in Hong Kong!" She'd seen the Chinese writing on the ships hull and what port it called 'home.'

"No, we won't." Irina laughed softly though not liking this situation either, "We'll get out before the ship leaves." She jumped out of the car and the other's followed suit all grabbing each other or the walls when they felt another jolt from another crate being stacked beside them. She knew the main doors were locked from the outside and she wouldn't be able to open them and quickly scanned the ceiling looking for the out she knew was there.

"The Emergency Exit hatch." She spotted it and jumped up on the car and then the roof cursing internally that the Emergency Exit was in the ceiling and wondered briefly how the hell anyone without something to stand on was expected to get to it.

With a few cranks of the lock she was able to push up and see the night sky above. She grasped the side of the hole and pulled herself up, was half way out when she heard the grating metal and looked up to see the massive crate coming down on top of her. "Shit!" She dropped back down inside rapidly while the kids screamed at almost seeing her squished by the crate set on top of theirs by the crane and completely boxing them in now.

"Now what?" Lena gasped in a whisper.

Irina pressed the homing beacon on her watch and it started to blink sending out a signal she knew was strong enough to penetrate through the two layers of steel where her phone would not. "Papa will call your father and give him our location. It will be fine…don't worry. We're just going to have to sit here for awhile and wait for them." She smiled softly. "Good plan, Sweetheart," She turned her attention to her son actually quite impressed, "But if you're going to hide in a shipping crate, make certain you're wearing a homing device, for without it," She held up her watch, "We'd be on our way to Hong Kong." She laughed softly while the others gulped.

Each of them had a tracker inside of them implanted on the backs of their shoulders after Lena and Nadia's kidnapping that no one outside the family knew about and the kids themselves only learned of when they were thirteen, in the event one of them ever went 'missing' their chip could be activated to find them. She knew their signals were strong enough to penetrate so much steel around them and would make certain after this little situation, that each of them were also armed with a 'backup' as she had, in a homing beacon that was strong enough to penetrate this amount of steel and metal.

"So where are they?" Sydney asked leaning on her car with Vaughn, as Julian, Weiss, Judy, and Karen all stood around on the docks after losing sight of her brother almost thirty minutes ago and nervous as they hadn't heard anything out of their mother.

Jack had just gotten off the phone with Dmitri and with satellite coordinates zeroing in on Irina's exact location; Dmitri had found her on the picture screen. "You're not going to believe this," Jack shook his head with a smile but fear also running through his face, "But they're in there." He nodded towards the end of the dock and the massive cargo ship now fully loaded with colorful cargo containers.

"They're in the ship?" Sydney almost shouted bouncing off the car with wide eyes.

"Yes, apparently they're inside one of the containers on the left middle side either in or just below a green container according to Dmitri." Jack moved to get back into his car as everyone else hurriedly scrambled as well, "We've got to move as the ship is scheduled for departure in less then five minutes."

Those inside the container were sitting on the ground against the sides of the container playing word games to pass the time and the current game was for each of them to name a city in the world that started with each letter of the English alphabet. They were currently on the letter 'P' when they heard and felt the jolt of the crate above theirs moving.

"Do you have any idea how close you came to being shipped to Hong Kong?" Jack poked his head through the Emergency hatch above with a flashlight and stern face before smiling. "Evasion to another country entirely is a bit much, Cowboy." He laughed softly looking at his son under his beam of light. "Everyone hold tight as they move this container back onto the dock so you can be 'unloaded." He smiled and then disappeared from sight.

"Can always count on your father." Irina smiled looking at her son and then daughters sitting across from her. With another jolt they were soaring in the air again and the feeling was incredibly uneasy until they landed with another thud and the door behind them was opened. Quite the crowd of dock workers and cargo ship personnel were all gathered with wide-eyes to see the Imperials including the Tsar that had been loaded bound for sea.

"Thank you for extracting us." Irina walked over quietly to Jack with a smile, slowly wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him, realizing a moment later that this was the first time in her life she'd ever said those words together and meant them.

"Of course, My Love," Jack smiled, "I would have to say after that last crazy chase and the ending result…our son is the most like you in his driving skills."

"I know," Irina laughed softly, looking over at him exiting the car after he just backed it out of the container, "You should have seen his face, Jack. I can't tell you how relieved I was looking over at him enjoying the chase so much that we're not in that life anymore as I have no doubt he'd have followed our footsteps into espionage as well."

"He's an adrenaline junkie," Jack smiled, "Just like you."

"Well, that's probably true," Irina smiled coyly, "You say that as though it's a bad thing… though you've always seemed to enjoy the perks of being with an adrenaline junkie…for instance, the adrenaline rush that often lasts for hours after…and leads to explosive combined pleasure." She whispered against his ear making him smile and then laugh.

"You're bad Mrs. Bristow…oh so bad." He kissed her knowing he'd enjoy her lingering adrenaline rush when they got home.


	57. Chapter 57

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Young Blood **_**by Birdy**_**, Apologize **_**by One Republic**_**, Ice (Dusted Mix) **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, Welcome to Cuba **_**by David Arnold**_**, ******__Ella Tiene Fuego (She Has Fire) _******by Celia Cruz**_********__, Represent, Cuba by Orishas._

* * *

FIFTY-SEVEN

o

_Alexander Palace - Old Chapel Ruins_

_"Shit!"_ Antony cursed quietly as they both hurried to put their clothes on. They had both fallen asleep so exhausted after spending the night together making wild, mad and passionate love, waking only when the sun was up and shining down upon them. "What are you going to do?" He asked rapidly having never been in this situation with Lena before.

"I have no idea. I know they're all awake by now looking at the sun. Don't worry." She smiled softly hoping that all would be okay but not knowing for sure, "I'll just tell Mama the truth and she'll be okay."

"You're going to do _what?_" Antony balked at her over the idea of telling her mother, the Tsar, she'd stayed out all night with him.

"I don't lie to her. If she asks me where I was, I'm going to tell her I was with you. That we fell asleep…" Lena smoothed her shirt down the front, "Don't worry, it will be okay. I'm sure she won't be upset that I was with you…if anything she'll have been worried at not knowing where I was."

Lena was right about the latter and when Irina saw her daughter walking along the edge of the pond towards the house she breathed a sigh of relief from the bench where she was sitting looking over the water.

She took a seat beside her mother and saw the unasked question in her eyes before a word was spoken. A stray hair that had escaped her hair tied in a knot at the nape of her neck blew in the slight breeze and she caught it and snagged it behind her ear feeling her mother's eyes still on her.

"We fell asleep." She turned to look her straight in the eye letting her see the truth, "I'm sorry if I worried you. It wasn't intentional that I stayed out all night."

"Where were you?" Irina asked without any anger believing her daughter and knowing she wouldn't lie, but wanting to know.

"We never left the grounds." Lena answered right away, "We just honestly fell asleep outside and woke up with the sun." She swallowed hard and looked away towards the water catching the fly away hair again, "We got used to falling asleep together during the Olympics…it's a hard transition to have to do so alone now…and wake up without him beside me." She was emotional and felt the tears starting though she willed them away not wanting to think about the empty feeling inside her when she woke up without Antony.

Irina looked at her daughter's beautiful profile in the morning light and saw the glistening in her eyes as she fought back the tears. She knew how this felt, the transition of trying to adjust to sleeping alone again after falling asleep next to the one you love and her heart skipped a beat with a sigh not wanting her daughter to feel that agony anymore then she had to.

Her hand slowly reached over and wrapped around Lena's getting her attention again after her daughter drifted off someplace else, "Make a deal with me…I'll let you stay with Antony at his apartment at the Academy two nights a week as long as you keep it to yourself and sporadically choose which nights you stay there, always changing and making sure not to make a pattern for security's sake." She smiled softly seeing the hopeful spark in her daughter's blurry eyes while she ran slow circles with her thumb over the back of her hand, "But let me know at least please or your father on that night if you're staying with Antony so we're not left to wonder if something happened to you."

"I will." Lena nodded sharply with tears falling already smiling and lunged forward with a hug, squeezing her tightly, "Thank you, Mama, thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me!"

"Yes, I do." Irina answered softly holding her just as tightly with a smile, "I know the ache it causes inside when you have to sleep without the one you love by your side." She sighed and pulled back cupping Lena's cheeks and wiping her tears with her thumbs, "And to make it fair… Antony is allowed to stay here as well…whenever he wants to, he is welcome. I realize that if you were living under normal college conditions," Irina sighed with a smile thinking back to her own days at Georgetown with Jack at the same age, "You would be free to spend your nights together whenever you chose to…this is the best I can offer." She smiled and watched Lena's eyes fill with more tears and then laughed softly when Lena lunged at her again squeezing intensely with raging tears.

"You're the best Mama there ever was…I swear." Lena cried with a smile, "You listen and you understand and you care! Thank you so much…" She rambled through a happy sob.

"You don't have to thank me," Irina laughed softly with tears in her own eyes pulling back to look Lena in the eyes, "You're my daughter and I love you…I want you to be happy. I do understand…after you father and I got together there was hardly a night that passed that we weren't together…for the same reasons. It just got to the point that neither of us could stand to sleep without the other; our other half was missing and why we still can't stand to sleep apart."

"I was just telling Antony that…" Lena cried with a smile wiping at her tears, "That I finally understand why you and Daddy can't stand sleeping apart."

Irina smiled at her reaching up to wipe her tears and tucking the stray hair behind her ear again. "I love you, Sweetheart…and I'll always do whatever I can to make you happy."

* * *

"Jack," Irina smiled seeing her husband come into her den just as she was finishing writing a message in the birthday card she was attaching to the brightly wrapped gift box on her desk; one of her 'kids' at the orphanage was turning nine in two days and as she did with every single child living there, she bought a gift and personalized card for them on their birthdays. She stood and walked over to sit on her husband's lap in the chair he just plopped down in.

"I have to leave for Greece tomorrow…I'll be there for four days." She leaned sideways against his chest with her hand smoothing over his shirt and head tucked under his shirt, "I would love for you to come with me… but I think it would be a good time to take Nadia." She added softly and felt Jack nod against her head, his hand playing with her hair.

"I think that's a good idea." Jack sighed heavily knowing there was still a lot of healing left to do with his youngest, "I was going to suggest the next trip you went on that you take her. Greece will be good…she loves history and archaeology."

"That's what I was thinking." Irina smiled softly thinking about her 'little explorer.' "It will be good to spend some alone time with her again and she hasn't been on a trip with me…just the two of us, in far too long. I need it as much if not more then she does."

"I'm sure you'll both have a wonderful time though I'm going to miss you terribly." He kissed her forehead with a smile and she sat up to smile back at him, kissing his lips.

"I'm going to miss you too." She used her thumb to wipe the lipstick smear from his upper lip with a soft smile. "Speaking of missing those we love while we sleep…Lena's having a hard time adjusting to not falling asleep with Antony beside her." She paused meeting his eyes, "She got used to it during the Olympics and now they're at the point where they're finding it hard to fall asleep without the other…something we both understand all too well." Her eyebrow slanted a bit and she cocked her head with a sigh, "We were the same at their age and still are today." Irina smiled softly, "She didn't come in last night because she fell asleep with him outside. She's miserable without him and I can't say that I blame her…I'm miserable without you but at least I know that after a few days of separation I get to come home to you and my world is right again." Her smile lit her eyes with her hand over his heart, "Because of her security risk and unable to live in the Academy apartments, there is no few days of separation with relief in sight for her for a long time. So I made her a deal."

"Which was?" Jack asked with a voice full of emotion getting another reminder of just how 'grown up' his little girl was and actually finding understanding in her plight; thinking about his own relationship with her mother in college and now.

Irina sighed heavily, "I said that she could stay with Antony in town two nights a week with random evenings for security purposes and details on duty as well as calling us to let us know she's not coming home on the nights she does stay there…and told her that Antony is welcome here anytime." She gave him a small smile knowing he hated every new thing that showed him his daughters were no longer little girls but young women. "I don't like him driving home so late from here anyway and I'd rather have him stay then fall asleep and get into an accident."

Jack nodded softly, "Me too." He agreed softly having similar thoughts many times when the young man left so late, "Though its still hard to take in that he'll be sleeping in Lena's room instead of Nicholas or Jaxx's."

"They used to sleep together all the time in her room when she was little," Irina smiled feathering her fingers through his hair above his ear thinking about how cute they were then. "Or the tent outside after their summer nights of stargazing and chattering endlessly about the sky after returning from Space Camp." She laughed softly.

"Yeah, I remember…" Jack sighed with a smile, "Though its different now…"

"Yes, I know…but Jack, she's a Sophomore in college…" Her eyes were soft with understanding and tender smile, "You and I finally broke down and just got an apartment together my Sophomore year after deciding it was ridiculous to pay for two places when we were always staying together at one or the other anyway, remember?" She slanted her eyebrow slightly with a deeper smile knowing he did, "If she wasn't the Tsarevicha she would no doubt be sharing an apartment in town with him by now. She's never complained at all about living here for her security's sake and I want to try to give her as much a 'normal' as I can."

"As do I." Jack added softly playing with her fingers on his chest.

"I know you do." Her smile grew with fingers flicking his earlobe gently. "This was the only compromise that would keep her safe 'and' happy which are equally important." She sighed again shaking her head softly, "Can you imagine if we were in their place at the same age with our relationship as it was then? Unable to fall asleep together at night or wake up next to each other in the morning? I would have gone crazy from never sleeping…"

"Me too," He leaned forward and kissed her lips, "And I don't have to imagine the agony of falling asleep or waking up without you beside me…I suffered it for twenty-two years." He spoke softly with a soft smile pushing her hair behind her ear; remember that ache for as long as he lived and served as a reminder to be that much more grateful every morning he woke up and her warm body was draped over his, taking nothing for granted anymore.

"Me too." She whispered with dark eyes boring intensely into his feeling tears pricking her eyes at the ache that shot through her in that instant with just remembering those lonely nights, "Which is why I don't want her to have to go through that ache and agony if its in our power to take it away…its one agony I never ever want any of our children or grandchildren to ever have to suffer."

"Nor do I." Jack kissed her again and thumbed away the single fat tears that rolled from her long lashes when she blinked looking down. "I've noticed that flash of sadness in her eyes at night before she goes to bed and in the morning at breakfast…I recognized it right away for what it was but didn't acknowledge it as it was something else to remind me, she's not my little girl anymore." He gave her a sheepish smile with sadness, "But at the same time, its been grating on me to see that agonizing flash in her eyes that I know well and don't wish for her either…if this makes it go away and I never have to see it again in her eyes," He brushed his thumb over her cheek softly staring into her eyes, "Then I'm all for it." He added softly; unable to stand seeing that bit of agony in Lena's eyes anymore, the eyes that were her mother's and it made his heart ache all over again and never wanted his children to feel.

"She'll always be your little girl, My Love," Irina smiled softly playing with his earlobe now, "She's just your grown up little girl now." She was amazed at the transformation her husband's thinking towards his children's intimate lives had taken since the fallout with Nadia and she was severely saddened, as she knew Jack was, that it had taken something so tragic like that to put things into perspective for him.

"So is he staying here tonight or is she going there?" He asked after a moment, mentally preparing himself for either.

"I think he's staying here tonight and they're going into class together in the morning." Irina smiled softly, "Antony's driving her." She was quite impressed with the young man's willingness to be subjected to such a test all to be able to drive their daughter around and impressed her even more when he proved to be quite good behind the wheel of a car. She was completely at peace, as was Jack, about letting Antony drive her around.

"Two big firsts happening all at once." Jack shook his head, "Where does the time go? It crawled by agonizingly slow for twenty-years and then the last twenty have flown by in the span of a second it seems."

"It's always that way. When we want it to slow down it goes too fast and when we want it to speed up it crawls by…its just taught me to enjoy the here and now even more over the years." She smiled softly leaning in to kiss his lips again, "I'm enjoying the here and now very much right now." She laughed softly kissing his lips twice quickly and then standing pulling him up with her, "Let's go for a walk outside, My Handsome Husband…it's a beautiful day and I want some alone time with you."

"You'll get no argument from me." He smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her into him as they walked and kissed her head. "Would you like to go on a date with me tonight, Irina Bristow?"

"I would love to, Jonathan Bristow." She smiled and kissed him again.

* * *

When Lena came down with Antony for breakfast in the morning, Jack took note of the raging smile on her face and the absence of the sadness in her eyes and for that, his temporary discomfort at her growing up was worth it. He'd do anything to see that smile and the laughter in her eyes.

Irina and Nadia left just after breakfast for Greece and Antony and Lena were following out the door not long after them. He smiled at his daughter looking so beautiful and grown up in her black military uniform, walking them out to the doorway to wave 'goodbye.'

"Daddy…" Lena turned just before walking through the door with a smile, "With Mama out of town…I thought we could have dinner at your favorite restaurant tonight. Just the two of us. Would you like to have dinner with me?" She smiled seeing the slight surprise in his eyes that she was essentially asking him on a dinner date.

Jack swallowed hard with voice temporarily choked with emotion, "I'd love to, Sweetheart." He smiled softly and felt his heart skip a beat when she kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly before leaving.

* * *

_Athens, Greece_

When Irina's meeting was over in the afternoon she met with Nadia who was lounging in the sun waiting for her and the two set off to explore the temple ruins of the Gods and all the quaint little places off the beaten path, just enjoying their time together. Without any prompting, Nadia brought up the idea of possibly going to school in Greece for Archaeology and Irina held her breath liking that prospect much better than the one where she '_disappeared into the world'_ and still closer than '_very far away_,' though any great distance even from Russia to Greece, would be unbearable for her that far from her child.

That same evening they'd been invited to have dinner with the Greek Royal Family at their gorgeous private home right on the cliffs.

The last time Nadia had seen their only son, Prince Nikolas, she was eleven and he twelve. They didn't really pay much attention to each other at the time with her brother spending more time with him but when she saw him for the first time walking out onto the terrace to join them, she swore she felt her heart stop for a moment at the gorgeous man in front of her. He was talking to a friend of his who'd walked in with him and when his eyes met with hers, he paused in conversation for a moment, seemingly forgetting what he was saying before tearing his eyes away to finish his thought.

"Nikolas, darling," His mother called him over with a smile, "You remember Her Majesty Empress Irina and the Grand Duchess Nadia, don't you?"

"Of course." Nikolas smiled kissing Irina's hand like a gentlemen, "Your Majesty, it's a pleasure to see you again, welcome back to Greece."

"Thank you." Irina smiled at the dark haired young man who had always been such a polite boy.

"Grand Duchess," He picked up Nadia's hand and kissed it lightly with eyes locking and Irina immediately took note of the sparks between them with a bemused smile, "It's a pleasure to see you as well. I want to congratulate you on your Olympic success." He swallowed hard with a smile still holding onto her hand, "I was fortunate enough that my event finished in time to make your final spectacular showing in the All-Around…Your last routine on the Uneven Bars left me breathless…" His voice tapered off and he quickly recovered with a smile, "As many in attendance, I'm certain…never have I seen so much heart and passion…You're inspiring, Your Highness." He kissed her hand again before letting it go finally and then picking up her cast covered hand and did the same with a sweet smile.

"Thank you." Nadia choked out softly with a smile blinking hard trying to regain her breath that seemed to have been stolen without her awareness. "You said that your event finished in time to see mine?" She asked with slightly tilted head and curious smile. They were speaking to each other with eyes locked and engaged as though they were the only two present much to the amusement and curiosity of everyone else. "Which event was that, Your Highness?" Nadia asked him, "I wasn't aware you were competing as well."

"Equestrian Jumping." Nikoas smiled in turn as they took their seats around the table, the two of them sitting side by side and ignoring everyone else who was watching their interaction with rapt interest and bemused smiles listening to their conversation.

"I remember your love of horses." Nadia smiled softly thinking back to the boy she last saw five years ago, "And how did you do if I may ask?"

"Silver." He smiled with interest peaked even more to hear she had remembered his love of horses. "Though my horse _Shii-tan_ did most of the work."

"Congratulations." Nadia smiled widely, "That's an enormous achievement. I'm sorry I missed your performance. We were in that arena too, when my sister was competing in the jumping portion of the Pentathlon. How did you like Russia? Were you able to see much of it outside of the Olympics?" She crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair with thumb poking out of her cast rubbing nervous circles on the back of her other hand, something only her mother would pick up on and did.

"Thank you and yes, I loved Russia." Nikolas smiled leaning back in his own chair, "I've been there only a few times in my life and each time I go back I seem to enjoy it even more. Sometime, I want to take the train further into Siberia as I have heard it's quite beautiful and they have some amazing horses." His smile grew when the table laughed softly.

"Siberia is very beautiful and completely different than the Russia west of the Urals…I love spending time there, very much. The city is wonderful but the country is as well. Mama used to take me 'exploring' in the great forests there when I was younger and we'd go on big hikes." Nadia's gaze finally released from his to smile over at her mother remembering those fabulous times together. "And yes, the horses of Russia are very beautiful…I love to ride. They are the only animal, I think, that likes me." She laughed softly and everyone else did as well.

"Why do you think animals don't like you?" Nikolas asked with amused knit eyebrows finding this girl evermore intriguing.

"Ever since I was little, it seems I always ended up with the animal whether donkey or camel or elephant that never agreed with me." She shook her head with a soft laugh. "I always got the one that refused to move and laid down. I decided to stick with horses as the animal of my riding choice after that."

"Would you like to ride with me tomorrow morning?" He asked quickly with a smile, "I'm riding along the beach to one of my old favorite Greek temples…its so far off the beaten path, many tourists don't know it exists but its unbelievably beautiful and I can let the horses wander freely grazing there before heading back. I think you'd really enjoy it, if you like riding and 'exploring." His eyes flashed to Irina remembering whom Nadia was here with, "Unless of course, you already have plans?"

"I'll be in meetings until early afternoon," Irina smiled at him and then her daughter, "If you want to go, I can meet up with you after."

"Oh yes, Darling…you should go!" Nikolas' mother, Kristin, smiled widely, "Nikolas knows the secrets of Greece better than anyone and you'd have a marvelous time…and I hate the thought of you spending the morning alone waiting for your mother. You should be out and seeing as much of Greece as you can while here. Maximizing your fun!" She laughed softly.

"I would love to…but don't think that I can ride." Nadia shrugged with a sad smile holding up her cast-covered arm and feeling a disappointment she wasn't prepared for at the prospect of not going with him.

"You can ride with me." Nikolas smiled seemingly liking this idea even better, "Completely safe, I promise. The mare we'll take is as gentle as can be. My thee year old niece rides her frequently all by herself." His smile grew thinking about the little girl. "Please say you'll join me, Your Highness?"

Nadia hesitated a moment with heart pounding and mind swirling as she looked him in the eye and her lips responded without her aware.

"All right. I'll join you. Thank you for the invitation." The moment she said it she was immediately internally cursing herself over the idea that she was going to be completely alone with him…someone she couldn't help but be attracted to and scared out of her mind after the last incident.

* * *

**_*Young Blood*_**

"I'll help you on first and then I'll mount." Nikolas smiled petting the black mare standing in the stable with Nadia in the very early morning hours of the following day. He held his hand out and Nadia hesitated only a second before bending her knee and placing it into his hand, "One, two, three." He counted off softly with her bouncing softly and then he easily lifted her up onto the horse. "No no." He smiled seeing her starting to slide back onto the blanket, the only covering on the horse as they would be riding essentially bareback for the ride on the beach. "You stay where you are. It's safer if you're in front and I'm behind you, holding onto you as you only have one good arm."

Nadia nodded softly swallowing hard knowing that made sense but the idea sent a wave of fear through her at being surrounded by him. Before she had time to think further he was mounted on the horse directly behind her pressed very close together and one hand around her middle while the other gripped the reins. He clicked his tongue softly and the horse started to move and he seemed to be pressed even more into her back and she fought to keep breathing in this position remembering the last time she had a man she was attracted to, this close behind her and able to feel his breath against her ear where his face was looking around her heading out of the stables.

"Are you okay, Your Highness?" He asked softly with a smile, taking note she hadn't said anything in quite sometime.

"I'm fine, thank you." Nadia smiled softly speaking quietly and trying very hard not to concentrate on the up and down motion their bodies were rubbing against each other in with the horse's movement. "But please…call me Nadia."

"Okay…Nadia." He smiled with a soft laugh, "And in turn, please call me Nikolas…we'll leave the formal titles to the formal parties. What have you been doing since the Olympics are over? I know you must have been consumed with your workout regime before them and its obvious with your injury you can't enjoy just doing your sport at the moment…so what is it that you do now?"

"I've been spending a lot of time volunteering at the Orphanage in St. Petersburg and helping my mother with various Imperial duties and work." Nadia leaned back slightly when the horse followed the path down a steeper embankment headed towards the beach and gulped when she felt Nikolas's hand pull tighter against her lower abdomen holding onto her in the descent. "We just finished a week long session in my _Mama's School of Bad Ass Driving_, as my brother called it." She laughed softly.

"What?" He asked laughing as they headed out onto the sand with the sun still slowly rising over the ocean casting gorgeous colors around the sky and making the few clouds look like they were lined in gold. "Your Mama's School of Bad Ass Driving?"

"Yes," Nadia laughed shaking her head, "We want to be able to drive our own cars without having to be taken everywhere and the only way my parents would allow it, was if we all passed an insane test of evasive driving to prove we could lose prospective pursuers." She paused with a smile, "After she took us on the preliminary ride and scared the _beejeezus_ out of us…none of us thought we'd ever pass but she spent a week with the help of my older sister and brother and father, teaching us how to do everything she did. I, of course, wasn't able to participate yet because of my cast and learned by watching, but everyone else passed. I'll have to take the same test when my cast comes off if I want to drive, as well."

"And what is this test exactly?" Nikolas asked completely intrigued and laughing but understanding her need to want some freedom from their maximum-security lives.

"We have to be able to lose three pursuit vehicles, driven by my brother, sister and father on a high-speed chase beginning outside of St. Petersburg and then through it." She shook her head with a sigh and smile hoping she passed when the time came, "It's quite the adrenaline rush flying through the city at that speed and essentially destroying anything in your way of getting away…The first three didn't do so badly at tearing up the city but my brother was having too much fun in the pursuit and went a bit crazy though it was quite fun…right up until he drove us into a cargo container to hide and we were loaded by a massive crane onto a ship bound for Hong Kong and trapped inside." She laughed softly shaking her head.

"_Hong Kong?"_ Nikolas laughed at the image that presented, "Your family has always been a riot. I love that you guys always seem to have fun in whatever you're doing and everything is an adventure." He laughed again shaking his head thinking about them ending up on a cargo ship, "So how did you get out?"

"My mother is the Queen of Gadgets." Nadia smiled with a soft laugh while the horse walked happily along at the edge of the surf, "As Tsar she always has to wear a Homing Beacon and my Papa Dmitri located her and thus, us. My father got to us just minutes before the ship left port."

"Wow…" He laughed again, "So when is your test exactly because I think I might have to come and visit that week and ride along? It sounds like quite the thrill ride."

Nadia's heart skipped a beat and she couldn't hold back the smile hearing him say he wanted to come visit. "Well, my cast is on for another eight weeks at least with the severity of my fracture and that leaves a very narrow margin for me to actually take the test before the Russian winter hits and if that's the case…I'd rather wait until Spring and do the test with my nieces, nephew and cousin who will be old enough to drive by then as well. I'm not crazy enough to try to do that test on snow and ice and I'm just fine with riding in the limo for a few more months if I have to."

"Are you planning on attending University this fall?" Nikolas asked with a soft smile and his mouth just inches from Nadia's ear.

"I'm not sure yet. I've been so focused on gymnastics for the last year I haven't really had time to really think about anything. If I do go to school it will with a double major in Archaeology and History…my favorite subjects." Nadia smiled looking over the gorgeous scenery around her; the emerald green and jade sea with the high cliffs and gorgeous sandy beach.

"Have you thought about school at the university here in Athens? They have one of the best programs for majors in both of those subjects…and I'm not just saying that because I'm Greek or because I want you to come to school where I'll be attending…" He laughed with a hint of nervousness, "Its just a really fabulous program…that's why I'm going there…for History and International Relations."

"Actually," Nadia smiled softly even more intrigued to hear of their common interest in subject matter as well as schools, "I was just speaking with the mother yesterday about that possibility."

"Have you been to the campus at all?" Nikolas asked with hopefulness in his voice.

"Not yet." She shook her head softly. "There's so much to think about if I go to school outside of Russia though…for one, if I leave, I'll lose my gymnastics coaches and I'd probably have to give up gymnastics all together." Her hand ran down the cast on her broken arm, "And I don't know think I'm ready to do that…it's so much a part of me, as are they. They've been extensions of my family since I was eight years old. They moved all the way from America, to coach me. I would feel like I'm bailing on them if I gave up now."

"Yes, that is a tough decision," He swallowed hard with a hint of sadness at the thought of her not going to school in Greece but understood her not wanting to give up on gymnastics either after what he'd seen of her performing in Moscow. "You're too amazing of an athlete to give up and quit now. Especially after the fight and drive I saw in you. You are the perfect gymnast." He smiled with a soft laugh and his thumb unconsciously slid up and down caressing her abdomen through her sheer cotton shirt stirring up madness inside of Nadia that she fought hard against. "The World's Greatest Gymnast' surely wants to compete in her other home country of America at the next Summer Games especially since they are in your city of Los Angeles again." He smiled with a hint of teasing, "I'm planning on being there…perhaps you could show me around your American homeland then?"

"Perhaps." Nadia answered softly with a smile trying to ignore the swirling of emotion inside her and failing.

The rest of the morning the two spent exploring, laughing, talking, riding and playing in the surf with pants rolled up and chasing the waves in and out in a game of tag trying to stay as dry as possible and trying to keep Nadia's cast from getting wet though narrowly escaping such more then a few times and the last only because Nikolas caught her around the waist and lifted her up against him out of the water as much as he could when she didn't see the wave higher then normal about to hit. He took most of the wave and it soaked him through with Nadia laughing looking down at him until he brought her down against him laughing softly with her until their chests were pressed together and faces almost touching with heated gazes locked and hearts pounding against each other.

She saw the look in his eyes that he wanted to kiss her and she him and just before he could move in she turned her face towards the sea looking for an out and found one, "_Run!_" She squealed seeing another wave coming at them and he quickly ran with her out of the water and up onto the beach laughing as they narrowly missed getting hit again. They laughed escaping and then even more looking at his drenched body until realizing he had to dry out his clothes before they were able to ride the horse back.

Nadia swallowed especially hard watching him peel his wet shirt from his body to reveal a perfectly chiseled upper body like that of a Greek god and when her gaze drifted down following his muscular 'v' past his hips to his low slung pants that he was currently undoing and she rapidly forced her gaze away, refusing to look any further down into the danger zone and took in a deep breath.

"It shouldn't take too long in this sun to dry them out." He smiled speaking to her back with an amused smile that she was keeping her back to him, though it was probably a good thing he decided looking down and seeing his white boxers currently sticking to his manhood like a glove from being soaked and now almost see through as well as showing off his slight arousal from holding her so tightly against him wanting to kiss her.

His eyes caught sight of the small blanket they'd draped over the horse and he walked over pulling off his boxers standing completely naked behind her until he turned the blanket inside out and wrapped it around his waist.

"You can turn around now." He smiled spreading out his boxers on the jutting rock to dry in the sun with his other clothes.

Nadia's eyes flashed wide and her heart jumped wildly upon seeing his underwear was off too and there before her on the rock and then to him wrapped in the small blanket and knowing he was completely naked underneath.

"So what do you want to do to pass the time until my clothes are dry?" He smiled at her with one hand on his hip rolling the edge of the towel over again to secure it and taking note of the way her eyes were scanning his body.

The water rivulets dripping down the indentions of his sculpted muscles had her transfixed and she blinked hard looking up and realizing he was speaking to her and noticed obviously from his massive smile that she was staring at him and cursed herself again that he was making her mind swim again and get all foggy and that was dangerous.

"What did you say?" She asked and he laughed softly.

"I asked what you wanted to do to pass the time until my clothes were dry?" He smiled walking closer and took note of the way her chest seemed to be heaving with heavy breaths and visibly pounding heart through her chest and from the pounding pulse he saw in the dip of her neck.

"We can play Tic-Tac-Toe." She smiled forcing her gaze away and side-stepping him rapidly to grab the stick washed up by the waves. "In the sand." She was keeping her eyes off of him and the dangerous territory that he was, "I played this all the time on the beach of our island with my Mama when I was little."

"Sounds fun." Nikolas smiled watching her draw out the lines in the sand and his own eyes roaming before staring at her face with his gaze seemingly unable to stop watching her or searching for those moments when their eyes would meet.

They laughed again playing the game forgetting the awkwardness until his clothes were mostly dry and she turned once more for him to get dressed and then mounted the mare once more to return to his home and he'd asked her if she wanted to join him again tomorrow morning and he'd take her to another secret spot and before she could object her mouth answered with a yes again that had her screaming at herself inside for subjecting herself to more torture in the morning.

The second day was as fabulous as it was horrendous in that they were having a marvelous time together but the attraction was growing that much stronger the more they talked and laughed and got to know each other and their time together ended with a total of three moments of awkwardness where they were touching and pulled back immediately feeling the jolt of electricity, or almost kissing again with faces near each other. The chemistry between them so intense it seemed they had known each other a lifetime already.

Irina couldn't help but smile seeing her daughter so happy in the afternoons and hearing what she'd done in the morning with the young Greek Prince and the way she talked about him was unmistakable as to how she really felt about him but wasn't saying. Somehow or another his name found its way into their conversations repeatedly throughout the evenings and the ease at which Nadia was sharing information about him let Irina breathe a little easier with hope that she was finally gaining some self confidence again and with the opposite sex, whom she'd sworn off completely after Dubey Junior.

On the last day Irina and Nadia were to be in Greece, Nikolas invited her to take one last ride with him down the beach and back to the temple ruins before she had to go. They had a fabulous time laughing and talking again while they rode down the beach and walked around, playing the ocean once again though much more careful about getting too wet this time and again when they were running from the surf, their bodies crashed together and eyes locked with time standing still and both pairs of eyes darting to the others lips before Nadia would quickly look away and pull back. 'She would not go down this road again,' she told herself over and over knowing that she was leaving in just hours and refusing to give in to temptation once more.

It was with heavy and pounding hearts pressed together with his chest to her back and his hand holding her tightly to him that they rode back to the stables. His breath was rapid against her ear and fingers and thumb against her abdomen were once again caressing her now bare skin as she wore a shorter form fitting t-shirt to cover her bikini top, coming prepared for the beach this time and stirring everything up inside her with his touch inflaming her skin that she was trying so hard to stamp down. The awkward silence that fell upon them the last length of the beach spoke volumes to them both.

They rode into the stable and the sound of metal horseshoes on concrete signaled the end of their journey. Nikolas slid off first and reached up, grasping Nadia by the waist and pulling her off the horse after though instead of releasing her when her feet hit the floor he pulled her closer with eyes locked. His hands kneading softly into her skin around her hips and pressing into her lower back with pounding heart pressed against hers he leaned in and his lips were on hers not giving her a chance to turn away again and tongue slipped past her lips into her mouth touching lightly with her own and moaning softly at the fiery contact pulling her even closer as the kiss deepened and she began to return it. His hand creeping up her sides wanting to touch as much of her as he could and felt her tremble beneath his fingers.

_***Apologize* **_

The sound of a female voice saying, '_hello_' to the stableman outside the doors had him pulling back instantly as if burned and taking a step back while rapidly trying to slow his breathing, eyes flashing from Nadia to the door just as the young woman walked in pausing slightly with a bemused grin before walking forward.

"Nikolas, your mother told me I could find you out here." She smiled coming to stand beside him, "As if I wouldn't know where you would be…the horse lover never far from his beloved stables. I've missed you." Her fingers ran through his hair and then gripped his neck, kissing him soundly and Nadia's eyes widened just before looking down quickly and fighting back the tears.

"Ah," Nikolas finally spit out turning his eyes towards Nadia who was not looking at them but softly petting the horse, "I'd like you to meet Her Imperial Highness Nadia, Grand Duchess of All Imperial Russia…" He breathed out rapidly with pleading eyes trying to catch hers though she refused and instead turned them to the other woman.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness." She stepped forward kissing both of Nadia's cheeks, "I of course already know who you are and I must congratulate you on your fantastic performance at the Olympics. Nikolas and I were simply amazed watching your last breathtaking routine on the Uneven Bars." She extended her hand to Nadia, "Forgive my boyfriend for the lapse in the introductions," She smirked at him, "He hasn't seen me in two weeks while I'm away on vacation with my family and forgets my name." She laughed softly, "My name is Alissa."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Nadia smiled softly grasping her hand softly and then releasing it to pet the horse again. "Your Highness, I had a lovely time. Thank you for extending the invitation and showing me what Greece is all about." Her eyes met his in a searing flash with intent and he swallowed hard while she rapidly looked away again and towards Alissa. "I'm afraid I have to run. My mother and I are leaving shortly back to Russia. Please excuse my abrupt departure but I'm sure you understand."

"Of course, Your Highness." Alissa bowed slightly at her with a smile.

"I'll walk you to the car." Nikolas immediately stepped forward to follow Nadia and she turned half way around still not looking at him.

"Thank you but it's not necessary, Your Highness. Stay here with your girlfriend. I'm sure the two of you have a lot of catching up to do after so much time apart." She flashed a fake smile looking in their general direction and turning around again, "Da svidanya." She said goodbye in her native tongue and walked rapidly away, willing the tears with everything in her to stay in her eyes.

* * *

"Hello Sweetheart. Are you okay?" Irina asked immediately upon seeing Nadia with tear filled eyes come through the door to where they were staying, having just arrived home herself.

"I'm ready to leave Greece and go home. The faster the better." Nadia pushed past her blinking and a hot fat tear finally slipped from her eye as she grabbed her bag from the closet and threw it on the bed, striding with purpose to her dresser and pulling clothes out.

"Did something happen?" Irina asked quietly and swallowing hard with pounding heart, praying that her daughter's heart was not broken again when it was already so fragile and feeling that it was.

"He kissed me…and then his girlfriend walked in… and she kissed him." Nadia answered packing her travel bag rather roughly and frustrated her arm was cast and useless and trying not to cry or get upset over a guy she had only spent three days with…_three fabulous days_ that were a lie she knew now finding out he lied by omission, keeping from her that he had a girlfriend. "He conveniently forgot to tell me about her…not that he had to, I mean…we only spent a few days together… he owed me nothing of that truth."

"Right up until he kissed you." Irina finished the thought with a deep breath trying not to get angry with the young prince who had indeed caused more damage to her daughter's heart. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart." She spoke softly reaching out and grabbing Nadia's arm gently ceasing her movements before pulling her into her and holding her tightly with Nadia crying instantly.

"I don't get it, Mama…do I just have a flashing sign that says, '_use me for whatever you like and its okay?_" Nadia whispered through her cries. "Guys really only want me for sex and that's it?"

"No, Sweetheart!" Irina held her more tightly with tears forming in her eyes, "This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. You did nothing wrong…and I honestly didn't get the vibe from him that he was only interested in you for your body. He was genuinely interested in _you_. I saw that from the first conversation between the two of you."

"Yeah, but Parker pretended to be interested in Lena for months just to have sex with her. Nikolas only had to pretend for three days…hoping I'd give in before we left, I'm sure!" Nadia cried pulling away and wiping angrily at her tears.

"Sweetheart, I honestly don't think that was his intentions. I never trusted Parker from the moment I met him in getting a bad vibe and I didn't get that from Nikolas." Irina sat on the edge of the bed watching Nadia continue to pack furiously, "I don't know why he didn't tell you about his girlfriend and you're right he didn't have to tell you all the way up until he kissed you…then he crossed the line…he did, not you." She spoke softly, "You're amazing… more than just a gorgeous young woman on the outside. You're gorgeous on the inside and extraordinary and you draw men to you for many reasons…some good and some bad. Your sister had the bad in Parker but found the good in Antony…you'll do the same, Sweetheart."

"But how am I supposed to know when they're really good or just great liars?" Nadia cried wiping angrily at another tear, "I knew he was too good to be true and I kept telling myself no and to stay away from that direction not wanting to get into another situation like the one before and I fought it!"

"I know you did." Irina spoke softly reaching out to touch her arm again.

"And then he kisses me and I give in for just that moment and then _BAM!_ The illusion is broken when the truth is revealed and everything else was a lie." Nadia shook her head.

"You don't know that." Irina spoke softly with tears in her eyes speaking from personal experience, "He may very well have fallen for you, not planning to do so and trying to fight it as well and then was scared to tell you about his girlfriend… afraid you'd pull away if you learned the truth about her and believe everything with the two of you to be a lie. Sound familiar?" She wiped at her own escaped tear.

"Yes." Nadia wiped at another of her own, "But this isn't like you and Daddy…he didn't tell me he had a girlfriend and led me on all the while lying to me and not really caring about me, just using me."

"And I never told your father who I really was," Irina rebuttal softly trying to make her daughter see that she was worth more then she believed, "Or that I was sent to steal information from him, lying to him by keeping that from him but I was not leading him on at least not on purpose…I didn't want to fall for him and I tried to fight the attraction because I wasn't 'available' when I met him…I was supposed to be on assignment and after I caved with him I was taking it a day at a time because that's all I could think about or have as my tomorrow wasn't guaranteed for me…I could be pulled into my assignment at any time so I just kept saying to myself, '_just one more day, just one more day_' because I couldn't' get enough of him." She reached up and wiped at the falling tears sliding silent from her eyes, "But I fell in love with your father…and I was selfishly thrilled when he became my mark because I didn't have to give him up…I wasn't using him for information…in my eyes, I was using the information I fed to the KGB for him …so 'I' could stay with him. I never wanted to lie to him and everyday at least once I thought about what would happen if I told him the truth, other factors like assassination by the KGB of both us and then Sydney aside which was the ultimate reason I never told him the truth," She sighed heavily shaking her head and looking away for a moment before finding Nadia's gaze again, "I was scared to death that he'd believe everything between us a lie because of what I hadn't told him…and in the end my fear was founded as was his suspicion and belief that all we had and all I ever said and did was a lie because of what I'd held back. But that was not the case…I loved him very much…I was just trapped in a lie of omission… I was very wrong for lying to him…but it didn't negate the truth of my feelings or what was between us. That connection was real."

"Mama…" Nadia didn't want to believe it and shook her head softly with new falling tears as in some ways, this was worse if true.

"I'm just saying, what if he was me and you were your father?" She was going to make the comparisons even easier, "He never intended to fall for you and he fought it, just as I did with your father. But like me, he selfishly didn't want to give up the time he was spending with you and so he kept saying, 'one more day' until he couldn't fight it anymore, and fell for you…kissed you…but by that time, his lie of omission, which was a very big one, about his girlfriend was already in place," She spoke softly and sighed not wanting to defend his actions after clearly hurting her daughter but there was something there that kept telling her not to let this go, the real spark she saw between them and what she heard in Nadia's voice when speaking about him told her this wasn't _just some guy_. "You found out about her before he could tell you the truth…So now you believe he lied to you about everything during your time together, just as you father did…but you don't really know if that's the truth. You have every right to question it, as did your father…He lied to you and that was wrong. I lied to your father and that was wrong…but it did not negate my feelings for him or his for me just as this lie of his about his girlfriend doesn't negate your feelings for Nikolas or his for you."

"Yes, but she is still his girlfriend and you were still KGB. Even with the truth exposed the circumstance and facts don't change." Nadia was shaking her head softly constant tears building and falling and she hated that she was so emotional over a guy she'd just met really.

"True. I was KGB and Nikolas still has a girlfriend. Those are facts, you're right but circumstances do change." Irina decided on a new comparison still trying to get through seeing so much emotion held beneath the surface of her daughter and lurking in her eyes, fighting what she felt, "Look at your sister, Lena and the facts and circumstance around she and Antony. The feelings between them were real, the time they spent together was real as was the spark between them, the connection and first it was Lena who never told Antony about Parker, a lie of omission…just like Nikolas never told you about his girlfriend," She paused again reaching up to wipe a stream of tears from Nadia's face, "Lena never told him because she was falling for Antony though she fought it and didn't want to break what was between them at the same time…and then it was Antony who had the girlfriend and still, it didn't change the way he felt about your sister and he tried to fight it because he had a girlfriend…they both tried to fight it for a long time but in the end what was between Lena and Antony was what was real and it worked itself out, the circumstance changed."

"Well, how he feels or what happened with us doesn't matter anyway, right?" Nadia shrugged sarcastically trying to hold back from crying, "We're leaving and he's staying. Those are the facts and this is a circumstance that won't change." She stalked over to her dresser to grab more clothes.

"What if you decide to go to school here?" Irina asked softly watching her closely as she came back to the bed to throw more clothes in. She hated that her daughter had seemed to find the perfect guy for her only to have him ripped away and add further heartbreak instead of mending what was already broken…which time with Nikolas seemed to be doing.

"I'm not going to school here." Nadia answered immediately shaking her head sharply.

"You've already decided against it? Because of him you're going to give up on the idea of going to school here? A school that has one of the best programs for what you want?" She asked softly knowing the answer already but wanting Nadia to say it a loud and admit it to herself.

"No." Nadia shook her head immediately and then more tears came wanting that to be true and knowing it was a lie…it wasn't 'only' because of him. "He's not the only reason…he's just a very small part of it. I was already planning on staying in St. Petersburg so that I can continue in gymnastics with Nadia and Olga…and the University programs on History and Archaeology are two of the best as well…it just makes sense."

As relieved as Irina as at hearing that Nadia would be staying 'home' and not moving away, it also made her heart hurt to know that there was a part of her daughter that really wanted to come to school here and while gymnastics and her coaches were very good reason to stay in Russia, her other dreams were equally important.

"Can we just go please, Mama?" Nadia asked with a sigh of defeat and slumped shoulders with blurry eyes and Irina couldn't refuse her plea.

* * *

**_*Ice (Dusted Mix)*_**

The change in Nadia again upon their return was extremely noticeable as the days went by. She started school at the University of St. Petersburg though instead of staying in and keeping to herself which she had done for most of the past year, she was suddenly '_full of life again' _with smiles and laughs and was out almost every single night of the week partying with her friends. To look at the surface it seemed she was back to her old self and then some but to her mother she saw a mask; a mask to cover the incredible hurt inside and the lack of self-worth, which was only expounded upon after Nikolas. Her daughter was in a tailspin of depression and instead of going one way she was going the other now.

No longer able to lose herself in gymnastics where she didn't have to think about anything that hurt her before, Nadia now found her solace in partying, drinking and young men. Where she avoided them like the plague before, she was now out with one every night it seemed. Irina's concern for her, rose to even higher levels when Nadia went to the doctor on her own to get birth control pills.

When Irina asked her about it, Nadia had shrugged and turned away saying with a blasé attitude, '_sex was easier with guys when it was strictly sex without any feelings involved with both parties in the understanding it was sex and only sex. If guys wanted to use her body she was fine with that, she'd use theirs in turn in a mutual agreement_.'

Hearing her say that was like a knife in Irina's heart that her self-respect had fallen so low as to not care if she was being used as long she was using them in turn…another painful twist that Irina was familiar with from her own past. Trying to lose herself in the oblivion of another for just a while with wild sex and only sex…it was the way she lived for years and the mainstay of her relationship with Dubey even if it turned into a friendship on the side, the core of their relationship was sex.

After breaking down crying the night after Nadia told her this, Irina repeated to Jack what Nadia had said and it crushed his heart with the weight of a heavy hammer to hear something that sounded just like his own thinking with the women who he took solace in after losing the love of his life and feeling betrayed. That his daughter was okay with the fact now that guys wanted to use her body and in turn, she'd use them made him want to cry and he did, silently while holding onto Irina who was doing the same with both of their minds lost and intermixing with remembrance of the years they'd done the same and felt the same.

Nadia was discreet about it and kept her dealings almost entirely to herself and on the outside around everyone else she looked completely happy and back to normal while inside was anything but. Her eyes would rapidly bounce back and forth between thunderstorms and hollow shadows the only part of her mask, she couldn't control and allowed her parents to truly see her behind what she was trying to hide. No amount of talking to her would make her feel any differently about herself though her parents tried desperately.

* * *

**_*Welcome To Cuba*_**

In the very beginning of October they were in Cuba for another diplomatic visit with the new President of the country, now in its eighth year of democracy after the death a long time dictator; and the tiny island country was thriving. The entire family and friends plus Antony's family were all invited along to spend a week during the Russian fall break and Antony's eighteenth birthday on the sandy white beaches.

"She certainly has a way with the young men." Judy smiled softy shaking her head from her lounge chair on the beach, looking at Nadia who was not too far from them sitting in the sand surrounded by five males. Everyone thought, 'like mother like daughter' though no one dare voice it.

Nadia was smiling and laughing at whatever one of them was saying to her and suddenly took off running with them, diving into the water enjoying her new freedom having just gotten her cast off the day before she left.

"Yeah, well I don't like it." Nicholas glared at the young man currently picking up his sister and throwing her into the air to splash into the water.

"Your brotherly intimidation not working on the Latin boys, Nicolai?" Mikhail laughed softly knowing how protective he was where his sisters and nieces were concerned.

"You're quite the little Casanova yourself there, Cowboy." Weiss teased him not liking the guys around her anymore then Nicholas did, "You had a flock of women surrounding you earlier. Where did they go off to?"

"Shopping…they're going to meet me later tonight at the club." Nicholas answered without taking his eyes off his twin sister.

"Well, see then little brother, that's a double-standard you have there." Sydney slanted her eyebrow at him over her sunglasses, "It's okay for you to have fun with the girls and yet she's not allowed with the guys?"

"I won't hurt the girls. I can't say the same for these clowns with Nadia and that's the difference. I trust her, not them." Nicholas tore his eyes from his sister in the water for only a moment to address the one across the little white bar table beneath the umbrella they were currently taking shade from out of the hot sun. "One guy hanging out with five girls is much different than one girl with five guys." He gave her his own slanted eyebrow right back.

"I agree there." Jack spoke softly, very nervous watching little 'Latin Lovers' swarming his daughter and knowing how aggressive they were when it came to the opposite sex. He also didn't want to say anything to her knowing she was already on edge and still reeling from what happened with Dubey's son and his reaction. His alarm was even more on edge after learning from Irina their daughter's new view on how men viewed her body and sex.

"Well, Antony and Lena seem to be off in their own little world." Karen laughed softly looking out into a different part of the ocean and seeing the two standing in the water up to their shoulders with Lena's arms draped around his neck and their foreheads pressed together laughing and smiling over whatever they were talking about. "They remind me so much of the two of you at that age." She looked over at Jack and Irina shaking her head softly with a smile, "Didn't matter if the rest of us existed at times…you two were just lost in each other."

Jack and Irina both smiled at each other while Ben spoke with a laugh, "It still doesn't matter if the rest of us exist around them." He laughed at the way they were now looking at each other with the same intensity and everyone else laugh too.

* * *

**_*Ella Tiene Fuego (She Has Fire)*_**

"They are such a fantastic couple." Bella smiled over at the dance floor where Lena and Antony were tearing it up in the muggy heat of the night club on the beach, the hot spot of Havana during the evening hours and just happening to be one of Irina's clubs that Julian ran.

"Good Lord! How is it possible for her to move her hips like that? And those endless legs!" Judy laughed watching the fluidity of Lena's movements and all eyes shift to Irina knowing exactly where she got it, "They look entirely sexy out there." She laughed with a smile at all the flashes of men's eyes, who weren't happy about that fact, come down upon her. "Oh come on, you babies! They're beautiful together…by far the greatest couple out there right now and look at how much fun they're having."

They had all been thinking it watching the two of them only Judy was the one brave enough to voice it. The heat and wild movements causing a fine sheen of sweat over everyone but especially those on the dance floor and Antony's white shirt had the sleeves rolled up and several buttons on his chest undone from the heat while Lena's dress and skirt she was kicking about danced around her long legs on high heels with long hair flipping playfully around her shoulders and face with every rapid movement of their bodies.

They were all smiles and laughter having a marvelous time, as were the rest of the children on the dance floor with Nicholas and his small harem of women friends all dancing around him and gaining a few new ones as were Jaxx and Mitchell. Nadia was surrounded by the same five guys from the beach and at least four new ones as she danced with Anya, Eva, Ria and Mia who had each found their own little harems of men to dance with.

"As much as I wish I were young and could dance the night away," Mikhail stood smiling with Bella, "I think we're going to go to bed now…I'm not used to staying up this late anymore." He laughed and several agreed.

"I think we're going to head out, too." Irina stood with a smile.

"We are?" Jack asked rapidly with surprise.

"Yes, we are." Irina responded slowly with an unmistakable twinkle in her eyes and he jumped up immediately.

Soon they were all standing to leave deciding to call it quits for the night with other ideas in mind and Jack snagged Lena by the arm gently on their way out.

"We're heading in for the night. Keep an eye on them please." He nodded towards Nadia and the guys, knowing Lena knew her sister probably better than any of them and was also concerned about her. Lena nodded _yes_ with a smile and kissed both of his cheeks with a hug wishing him a goodnight and then kissing her mother the same way.

"You look incredibly sexy out here together." Irina whispered to her with a smirk of pride and soft laughter, "Be careful and I love you…" She added brushing her fingers over her cheek briefly kissing Antony's cheek as well and then blowing kisses across the dance floor to Nadia whose eye she caught and then Nicholas and they both waved goodnight.

* * *

**_*Represent, Cuba*_**

Another hour passed of heated dancing and Lena pulled Antony with her into the bathroom in the same move she first pulled on him, pressing him against the door and locking it with pounding hearts together and dangerous smiles on both of their faces.

"I want you now." She whispered with a heated gaze against his lips and Antony pushed her back against the opposite wall with a soft laugh as they eagerly started grasping at each other

* * *

The look on the man's face waiting for the bathroom as they exited together some time later, only caused them to laugh more and upon re-emerging to the dance floor Lena's eyes immediately scanned for her siblings and spotted Nicholas with the mass of women sitting at one of the tables now, laughing and having a good time, and found the others still on the dance floor with the exception of one, Nadia.

"Oh, shit!" Lena gasped remembering her sister drinking quite a bit over the last hour mainly in the form of tequila shots and now was gone, as were the guys around her.

"Shit, what?" Antony asked rapidly seeing the immediate change in her eyes as she scanned the place rapidly and moving quickly even on trembling limbs.

"Nadia's gone! I was supposed to watch her! Damn it!" She swore internally berating herself for leaving her alone but thinking nothing of it, believing her brother and the other's would keep an eye on her too.

"Where's Nadia?" She asked rapidly flying over to her brother trying not to get mad.

"She went to the bathroom last I saw her." Nicholas responded immediately with eyes scanning the floor and not spotting her.

"I was just in the bathroom and she wasn't there!" Lena tried not to scream with eyes flashing back to the hallway and seeing Nadia's bodyguard standing off to the side of the hall like he was waiting for her. "The exit!" She gasped running across the dance floor towards the hallway remembering the Exit sign at the back of the hallway leading outside the back way. "_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!_" Lena swore bursting through door outside and seeing no sign of her sister with Antony, Nicholas and Jaxx right behind her. "She's gone!" She held back a strangled scream of frustration realizing her sister gave her bodyguard the slip to run off with the guys apparently. "Why weren't you keeping an eye on her? She was already clearly intoxicated and in no way, shape, or form capable of making any coherent decisions!"

"I was keeping an eye on her!" Nicholas shot back angry with his own panic rising and fear for his twin alone with five guys while drunk. "She went to the bathroom! How was I supposed to know she was going to sneak out the back?"

"What are you doing?" Antony asked rapidly seeing Lena go for a black motorcycle and immediately grab at the wires, whipping a small knife out from God-Knows-Where and splicing them.

"On the beach, one of them was talking about the apartment they all hang out in downtown above the bar on the corner." Lena was working rapidly at hotwiring the bike and thankful her big brother Julian taught her how to do such things in the event of an emergency. This was an emergency she decided.

"Well, I'm not letting you go alone!" He immediately yelped back watching her straddle the bike and rev its engine.

"I'm just going to get her, not fight." Lena flashed her eyes up at him, whipping her hair back over her shoulder. "I'll get her and come right back before they even know we're gone. I can't take you with me or I'll have no room for Nadia to sit when I bring her back."

"What happens if one of them attacks you or something? They're drunk guys!" Antony immediately stepped forward with concern flooding his face.

"_I'm a goddamn Olympian!_ I sure as hell better be able to use these skills for something besides winning medals!" Lena's eyes were burning fire with fear for her sister and anger at herself for letting her out of her sight. "I can take care of myself if I need to."

"What am I supposed to tell Max if he asks where you are?" Nicholas asked rapidly inquiring about her own bodyguard waiting for her at the end of the hall.

"If he asks, tell him and Serge that Nadia and I are in the bathroom dealing with women stuff and relationships or whatever. Tell them she's upset and we're talking. Go back in and lock the door and close it so it looks like we're in there." Lena sighed, "Walk back in like nothing is wrong, order a drink or whatever and two for us like we're coming back and I'll bring her back as fast as I can."

"Why don't we just tell Serge she slipped him? And he can go with you?" Nicholas asked not liking the idea of both his sisters alone with the guys though he knew Lena was quite capable of kicking some serious ass if need be, he didn't want her to have to.

"Because it will make a big deal out of it, calling out all the Security Detail and getting up Mama and Daddy and Nadia will just freak out further…if I need help, I'll call." She held out her hand and Antony put her phone from his pocket into her hand and watched as she slid it down her dress into her cleavage.

"Be careful, please." Antony cupped her face looking her in the eyes and kissed her.

Lena revved the bike again put one foot down cranking the gas and spinning it around to face the other direction before taking off immediately. She'd grown up on motorcycles of the dirt bike and jumping variety but this wasn't that much more difficult to handle, just heavier. With hair whipping wildly behind her she flew down the street towards old downtown Havana, weaving in and out of traffic passing slower moving cars in the night eager to get to Nadia as quickly as she could.


	58. Chapter 58

_**AN: **__**WARNING!**__** Shit is going to hit the proverbial fan in this chapter. It's painful now, but trust 'the journey' as it's leading somewhere. -Wild**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Dragula (remix) **_**by Rob Zombie**_**, World on Fire (Junkie XL Club Remix)**_** by Sarah McLachlan & Junkie XL**_**, Time **_**by Hans Zimmer from Inception Soundtrack**_**, The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer from True Romance Soundtrack**

* * *

FIFTY-EIGHT

o

_Havana, Cuba_

It didn't take Lena long to find the corner bar at the speed she was driving at and slid the bike across the cobblestones to a stop in parallel parking spot. Her eyes were glued to the upstairs balcony apartment with lights on and loud music coming from within while she kicked the bike to rest and twisted the wires apart shutting the bike off.

When she jumped off she received quite a few cat calls from the open bar before her and its drunken patrons and felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck as she hurried forth to the door leading to the apartment upstairs. The steps were old ceramic tiled and broken and chipped with various graffiti on the walls all the way up the stairs and broken bottles littering the path, clearly a party place and rapidly rounded the corner to stand before the door. She pounded hard on the door several times before someone answered.

"Mio Dios!" One of the drunken young men wowed her when he opened the door and hooted with enthusiasm, "It's the sister!" He laughed.

_"Lena!"_ Nadia screamed over the music realizing her sister was there and thankful she was as her world was swimming madly and tears were streaking down her face being held back against one of the guys on the couch in another room, sitting directly in front of the balcony.

His hands were all over her body and her shirt had been torn off quite some time ago leaving her in just her bra that one of his hands was currently under grasping her breast roughly; his pants had just recently come down exposing his cock that he was laughing about trying to get it inside her while she fought and struggled though too drunk to be effective.

The two guys beside them on the couch were helping him to keep her legs spread into the splits with skirt bunched up around her waist and her underwear torn off as well. Their fingers were molesting her center while she cried almost on the verge of passing out and they laughed in drunken stupor.

_***Dragula (Remix)***_

Once Lena heard the scream, she charged into the room around the door to see what was happening to her sister and was grabbed at the same time from behind by the other two guys while Nadia continued to cry out her name for Lena to help her and because she was now being attacked herself.

The idiots had made the mistake of grabbing the wrong girl and she rapidly broke free of their grasps with a stunning display of kicks and punches combining her martial arts and hit them again when they attacked her again knocking them back and onto the ground.

The two from the couch had jumped up to avenge their friends slowly picking themselves up off the floor and were a mixture of turned on, pissed off and challenged coming at her. She did two rapid spinning kicks landing her high heel against the sides of each of their faces bringing them down just as the ones behind her were getting up with bloody noses and lips coming back in their drunkenness for more.

Nadia was wiggling and trying the best she could to get away from the stronger guy who was more sober and she screamed loudly when he wrenched her arm back behind her back and flipped her face down onto the couch pinning her down and attempting to penetrate her as rapidly as he could, conscious of the fight going on in the room before him, but wanting his prize at the same time. He thrust his fingers up into her making her scream and cry again, jumping away from the painful touch under him and screaming again when she felt her arm crack further under the pressure and push through her muscles and out of her skin. Her strong legs clamped against his hand to keep him from the painful thrusting into her again and to keep his cock out that he was desperately trying to get in.

_"Open your legs you fucking cunt!"_ He screamed at her trying to pry her legs apart and failing with her muscle strength even in her drunken state. His fist pulled back and he punched her hard across the face where it was wenched to the side on the couch from being held down, temporally knocking her into a daze and splitting her cheek and lip open with his gold rings. He used the advantage to separate her legs and wedge his body between them grasping at her hips to pull her up and give him better access while trying to align himself with her.

_"Nadia!"_ Lena screamed seeing what was happening and trying to fight through her sister's fog to bring her alert enough to realize what was happening while trying to get to her and fighting against the other four who were surrounding her in a circle.

Nadia recovered enough to realize what he was doing with Lena's scream of her name and squeezed her legs as hard as she could against him, not allowing him to move and penetrate and trying to wiggle out from under him at the same time.

_"Fucking chocha!"_ He screamed at her again with a laugh at the challenge and pulled his fist back again as Lena screamed Nadia's name again and the man's fist came crashing violently down against the same cheek, knocking her out and splitting her cheek open wider as well as eye with his rings.

She went limp instantly and he laughed with the fight gone let go of the arm he had wrenched and broken and used both hands to spread her legs further apart grab her hips pulling her towards his own.

His hand shifting to his cock pushing it down preparing to thrust into Nadia and then he did… burying himself deeply into her on the first thrust crying out in pleasure, _"Oh Mio Dios!_" and Lena saw white-hot rage like she never had before.

Lena unleashed hell in the span of seconds, holding nothing back as she broke noses, jaws, teeth and limbs. Blowing out knees and elbows and breaking ribs to incapacitate the four keeping her from saving her sister and before the last even hit the floor unconscious she screamed charging towards the man pumping wildly into her sister and he turned to look at her rapidly pulling out and standing up, trying to scramble backwards with nowhere to go and went soaring over the back of the couch and balcony railing onto the street below when Lena's foot connected with his throat.

She gasped immediately when his body disappeared out the open doors and quickly looked down to see his body sprawled on the ground broken legs and arm were obvious but he was not moving.

**_*World on Fire (Junkie XL Club Mix)*_**

"Nadia?" Lena turned her immediate attention to her sister lying unconscious and bleeding everywhere from the side of her face onto the couch and Lena cried trying to wake her up and was unable to. She was scared to death to touch her or move her seeing her broken arm lying across her back and in a grotesque position.

With trembling fingers she pressed speed dial number one, _"Mama!"_ She cried into the phone knowing they were in some serious shit if the man below on the ground was dead, _"Come quick! These guys were trying to rape Nadia and I think I killed one of them!"_

"Oh my god!" Irina bolted upright and out of bed in an instant with Jack following behind her having no idea what was going on but immediately on alarm seeing his wife crying instantly and rapidly reaching for her clothes. "Where are you?" Irina asked barely able to hear her over the loud music in the background.

"At an apartment in old downtown above the bar on the corner!" Lena cried hovering over her sister's body on the couch and touching her hair lightly, "Mama come quickly please come quickly and we need an ambulance Nadia's really hurt…they beat her badly and she's not moving!"

"Oh God…" Irina gasped again, "We're coming, Lena, we'll be there in just a minute! We're on our way! _Lena?"_ She asked again rapidly when the line went dead on the other end, _"Shit!"_ She threw it on the bed and scrambled into her clothes while crying.

"What the hell is going on?" Jack was rapidly changing just beside her.

"It was Lena…some guys tried to rape Nadia and Lena thinks she killed one of them and they beat Nadia and Lena's said she's really hurt…she said she wasn't moving…" She spit out rapidly biting back a sob and tears instantly flooded Jack's eyes. "They're in some apartment not far from here above a corner bar."

"Where the hell is Max and Serge? What about the rest of them?" Jack boomed with rising panic and rage that someone had attacked his daughter and forced another to possibly take a life…something he never wanted any of them to have to do.

"I don't know she didn't say but she was pleading with me to get there quickly!" She cried grabbing her phone and flew out the door with her security team startled with wide eyes quickly following behind as they rushed out of the room and down the hall.

"Mom? Dad?" Sydney asked immediately just stepping out of the elevator surprised to see them and then instantly alarmed as was Vaughn. "What's wrong?" She asked even as she ran through the stairwell door behind them in too big of a hurry to take the elevator down the three flights of stairs.

"Lena just called…Nadia was attacked…she's hurt and Lena thinks she might have killed one of them fighting them off your sister." Irina answered in a rushed breath and Sydney was in instant tears.

They were jumping into their car when they heard the distant sounds of police sirens racing toward their way and they moved even faster flooring it and tearing off into the street to get to the scene a couple of blocks away before the authorities especially if Lena did indeed kill someone they didn't want her arrested and taken away before they got there.

"Oh God…" Sydney gasped when they came upon the crowd gathering around a body on the street as they parked the car in the middle of the road and jumped out looking up at the open balcony and then to the young man whose pants were pulled down exposing himself as he lay unmoving and she quickly followed behind her father, mother and husband.

Irina was running up the stairs and the music blaring she'd heard on the phone was now deafening being this close to it.

_ "Lena!"_ She screamed out loudly tearing around the corner and flying into the open door seeing the bodies of four of the young men lying unconscious or dead, she wasn't sure, on the floor in pools of their own blood from a massive fight and her heart skipped wildly and threatened to stop all together when she looked into the other room and saw Lena sitting over Nadia who lying on her stomach on the couch and all she could see of Nadia's face turned towards them was a massive stain of bright red blood and Lena sobbing over her, holding her hand with Nadia not moving.

"Sweetheart!" She rushed forward with tears racing down her face and eyes rapidly scanning Lena for sign of injury and spotting the split lip and slightly bruising cheek immediately but that was it. "Are you hurt?" She asked immediately cupping the side of Lena's face checking her first.

"No…" Lena shook her head with raging tears, "Nadia is…I haven't moved her…I didn't want to hurt her more." She rapidly turned her face towards her sister, "They broke her arm again." She looked at the limp arm she dared not move lying on her sister's back and the bone once again clearly coming through the skin this time.

Irina's fingers were trembling pressing against Nadia's neck covered in blood running from her face and trying to find a pulse. She gasped when she felt it, very weak and slow but there and from the smell of alcohol surrounding her she had hoped that was the only reason for the slow pulse. "She's got a pulse."

"_Jeesuz fuck!_ What did they hit her with?" Jack was crouching by their sides instantly with hand trembling reaching out and hovering over the top of Nadia's head, afraid to touch her and tears falling from his eyes at the open gashes and massive amounts of blood that accompanied face and head wounds.

"His fist repeatedly…but he had gold rings on." Lena answered through a sob, still holding Nadia's hand and Jack's mind flashed to the young man earlier that day on the beach wearing those very gold rings she spoke of. "She was trying to fight them off when I got here but she was too drunk and there were too many…they attacked me…and I fought them off trying to get to Nadia and the other one…he kept trying to rape her and she fought him and he hit her and she fought him again and he hit her and she went limp and then he was attacking her and I just…I don't know but I've never been so angry and I took them all out to get to her and I kicked him and he fell and …I killed him…" She stammered in shock, "They were hurting her Mama, what was I supposed to do?" She sobbed looking at Irina and then Jack with pleading eyes.

"You did what you had to do, Sweetheart to protect yourself and your sister…you didn't do anything wrong." Irina wrapped her fingers around Lena's clenching Nadia's with rivers of her own tears as the police arrived outside.

"These four are all alive, just unconscious." Vaughn nodded softly towards the young men on the floor swallowing hard at the realization that Lena had done it all herself and took all five out, possibly killing one to protect Nadia.

"Where's Max and Serge?" Jack asked rapidly to Lena, "How'd you get here and where are the others?"

"They're at the club…Nadia snuck out the back and I was really worried because I knew how much she'd had to drink and the guys were gone too…so we figured she was with them and I remembered them mentioning this place and so I hotwired a bike and came to get her."

Lena shook her head still in shock, "I thought I'd just get her and bring her back to the club…I didn't think they'd attack her or me…I just didn't want her to sleep with one of them because she was drunk and…" She held back a sob, "But when I got to the door she started screaming my name and I came inside and saw them holding her down and…" She sobbed at the mental image, "Three of them against her and doing things to her and she was screaming for me to help her and…I tried but they were attacking me…"

"Did they rape her?" Irina asked breathless with silent tears trying to hold back from sobbing.

"Yes." Lena held back a sob and Irina instantly swallowed a strangled scream and sob and Jack felt his heart stop for more than a beat, "I saw at least one…right after he knocked her out…the one I kicked out the window," She let go of the sob and inhaled a ragged breath trying to swallow her sobs, "I don't know what happened to her before I got here. She's bleeding now." Lena cried nodding down to where she'd recovered her sister's lower body with her skirt and was horrified when she saw the blood there. "I couldn't get to her..." She was sobbing with head in her hand.

Sydney was sobbing silently standing behind them looking down at her little sister and Vaughn had a comforting hand on her shoulder with arm around her, kissing her head with his own rivers of tears streaking down his face listening to Lena and looking at Nadia.

"_Goddamn bodyguards, _what the hell good are they if this can happen?" Jack was in a rage with fists balling.

"Don't be angry with them, Daddy!" Lena cried not wanting to lose Max who had been with her ever since she was a toddler, "Nadia fooled Serge to ditch him and I did the same with Max to come after her. I didn't tell Max or Serge where I was going or that Nadia was gone…I made that choice. I didn't want it to turn into a big security mess with Nadia getting more upset and sliding further back…she's already so messed up because of guys and your reactions I just…" She floundered with new raging tears, "I was trying to protect her from it happening again. I'm sorry… be angry with me but not with them. We lied to them by slipping out."

Jack was about to say something when Irina quickly lay a hand over his arm, "We'll talk about this later. Now is not the time." She was looking intently in his eyes knowing that placing the blame was far down the list of important right now, dealing with an unconscious daughter who was raped, left broken and bleeding and another going into shock from trying to save her possibly killing someone.

The first policeman came through the moment after with gun drawn and his back up behind him and took note of the bodies littering the floor with wide eyes and then to the Russian Imperial family he recognized right away, knowing they were in town as he'd been one of their escorts to the Presidential residence after they landed.

"We need an ambulance." Irina choked out staring into his eyes, "My daughter has been assaulted."

He immediately yelled down the stairs to the men telling them to call several more ambulances seeing the bodies and then turned back his attention to the situation.

"What happened here?" He asked holstering his gun and stepping forward while the rest of the officers quickly checked the other men to make sure they were alive.

"They were trying to…they raped my sister," Lena croaked out taking her responsibility to tell the officer what happened. "They were all drunk and I was trying to fight them off to get to her because they were holding her down and she was on the verge of passing out from alcohol anyway…I kept taking them down and they kept getting back up…and when I saw he was going to rape her I just did everything I could to subdue them so I could get to her and he hit her and knocked her out and then raped her and I kicked him in the throat and he fell backwards off the balcony…I wasn't trying to kill him," She sobbed, "Just get him off my sister."

"He's not dead." The policeman answered taking note of the girls on the couch and believing her story personally from what he'd seen of the exposed man outside and looking at Nadia without a shirt on and unconscious bleeding profusely with obviously broken arm but was still a bit surprised, "You took on all five of them?" He motioned with his finger around the room, "Knocked these four out like this and caused this much damage? Just you?"

"Yes." She answered with a head nod and a held back sob, "I was trying to save my sister."

"That's an incredible feat for a woman especially your size," He took note of her long slender frame but muscle clearly visible in her arms and legs, "To take out five muscular guys."

"They were drunk…" Lena almost whispered while the other policemen stepped forward whispering into the man's ear and his eyebrows rose slightly.

"I'd seemed to have forgotten that two of your many Gold Medals in the Olympics were from martial arts…they picked the wrong woman to tango with." He gave her the slightest of smiles seeing that she was shaken up, "You didn't kill him. He's being taken to the hospital right now. Probably all the alcohol in him that saved his life…drunks tend fall easier and thus, less injuries."

Two medics raced into the room behind them and the small three- room apartment was rapidly filling with people. They rapidly but politely had Irina, Jack and Lena step aside so they could look at Nadia. While a policeman started taking photos of Nadia in the position she was found in as well as the rest of the room and the other four men on the floor for evidence.

They all gulped watching the medics moving Nadia onto a backboard to take her downstairs into the ambulance. The deep bruising on her chest that was visible above her bra line showed clear fingerprints when they had turned her over.

* * *

_***Time***_

"Oh my God…" Antony gasped jumping out of the car after learning something had happened when the Security Details had been in contact; his eyes were on the man they were loading from the street who'd looked liked he'd come out of the window above and then to Nadia whose face was covered in blood being loaded into another ambulance and several more lined up on the street. The entire area was sectioned off with police tape to keep people back and he spotted Lena coming out of the door way. "Lena!" He yelled at her with heart pounding scared to death for her and wondering what happened, wishing he would have gone with her.

"Antony!" She cried back walking rapidly towards him and he ducked under the tape to grab her into his arms when she started sobbing.

"What happened?" He asked holding her tightly and then pulling back to cup her face and brows knit to see the bruised cheek and split lip though the rest of her looked fine.

"I tried fighting them off but he was raping her…and I went crazy on them to get to her and one of them went out the window." She cried and he pulled her close again.

"What's wrong with Nadia?" Nicholas ran under the tape disregarding the police attempting to stop him until they saw his Security Detail, he was instantly at his twin's side with tears in his eyes seeing her face, her broken arm and the fact her shirt was gone.

"They were assaulting her, Lena fought them off." Jack clasped his shoulder with tears in his eyes surging forth once more at seeing them in his son's eyes, knowing how extremely close the two had always been as twins.

"They raped her?" Nicholas asked breathless looking down at her and tears falling immediately from his eyes when his father nodded softly they had. "Why isn't she conscious?" He asked stepping back to let them load her into the ambulance and close the doors with Sydney and Irina nodding at Jack they'd go with her and he'd stay with Nicholas and Lena, bringing them to the hospital.

"He hit her…twice, and knocked her out," Jack choked on his tears watching them go, "Lena said she was on the verge of passing out from drinking so I'm hoping that she's still not woken up because of that…and nothing more." He turned his gaze back to his son just in time to see two police officers approaching Lena getting out handcuffs.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness," The first officer took hold of Lena's wrist snapping on the cuff, "But you're Under Arrest until this situation is sorted out or until your sister, if possible, corroborates your story."

Lena's eyes flashed wide filling with tears instantly looking at Antony, who was immediately ashen, "What are the charges?" He asked rapidly.

"Right now Assault, but if he dies…Manslaughter." He looked at Antony with a flash of sadness before securing Lena's other hand behind her back.

"What's happening?" Jack asked panicked at her side immediately staring at the tears streaming down her face with fear in her eyes having heard the last of 'manslaughter.'

"We have to bring her in at this point." The officer held her shoulder, "She'll be processed at the station and held there for 24 hours and then transferred to the interim jail until this can be worked out. I'm sure it won't be for long. It's just the legal procedure." He gave them a soft nod before grabbing Lena but the upper arm and leading her to the police car.

"Daddy?" Lena called back with a quivering voice, scared to death at what was happening and not wanting to go to jail, especially in a foreign country where five of the male citizens were just raping her sister.

"Don't worry, we'll get you out, Peanut!" He called out in a strong voice trying to cover his emotion at seeing his little girl being arrested for murder. She was his little girl and he would not allow her to go to jail for protecting her sister. "I love you…it's going to be okay! Don't say anything to anyone until we get there!"

"She's going to jail?" Antony gasped along with Nicholas horrified at the prospect.

"Not for long if I can help it." Jack immediately whipped out his phone calling Ben.

"Jack, where are you?" Irina called him with concern when Nadia was being examined in the Emergency Room and her husband was still not there.

"I'm at the police station." He sighed rubbing his temples watching as they booked his daughter, "I'm sorry I didn't call you but I knew your phone would be off in the ambulance, They've arrested Lena."

"What?" She gasped horrified and bracing herself against the wall with one hand, "It was self defense!"

"I know," Jack watched as they took Lena's mug shots in disbelief this was happening, "They're holding her on Assault but if he dies, they'll charge her with Manslaughter." He heard her gasp on the other end, "Ben and Kendall are here now and we're working on trying to get her out as soon as possible. Katya, Marcelo and Bella should be arriving at the hospital any minute. How's Nadia?"

"They're still examining her. They want to do a CAT scan of her head for possible brain damage…" Her voice quivered and she blinked hard shaking her head and rubbing her temple, "They're concerned she hasn't woken up or responded at all…we're all hoping its because of the alcohol in her system."

"And the other?" Jack asked feeling new tears forming speaking with a soft voice.

"She's bleeding fairly heavily and they're going to have to stitch the tear or tears …" She choked on another sob, and saw them opening the doors moving Nadia's bed, "Jack, I have to go their moving her…I love you…please call me if anything changes with Lena and tell her I love her."

"I will and do the same for Firecracker for me please," Jack turned to look at Lena now being fingerprinted, "I love you, Irina…we'll get through this, too."

"I know…I love you." She whispered and then hung up following the medical personnel moving her daughter to be X-rayed in several ways.

_Havana Police Department- Jail and Detention Center_

Lena had given her side of the story with a Russian and American lawyer on either side of her having come straight from their respective embassies upon receiving the call in the middle of the night. She'd been stripped down and inspected and then given navy blue prison scrubs to wear with the name of the jail written in Spanish across the back and her number on the front.

Her heart was pounding when it was over and she was being hand cuffed again this time with waist and leg chains and shuffled forward and she couldn't help but flash to the images of her mother so many years ago, pregnant with her and being shuffled into a prison cell in the same manner.

"Where are you going to hold her?" Jack asked rapidly seeing them marching his daughter out of the room he was not allowed to be in and his heart seizing in terror at first sight with the chains, "Are those necessary?"

"Considering what she did alone, to five men, yes they are." The arrogant policemen who had not spoken to them before responded, "She'll be put into a holding cell in another building connected to this one."

"By herself or with other detainees?" Jack asked rapidly not liking this at all and seeing the fear in Lena's eyes though she was trying hard not to cry.

"With other detainees." The man answered flippantly and Lena's eyes widened with a surge of fear.

"She can't!" Jack immediately surged forward, "She's the Tsarevicha of Imperial Russia…you cannot throw her into a cell with other detainees and no protection!"

"Her status doesn't grant her special consideration in the face of crime…especially if its murder. I think she can handle herself just fine." He jerked on Lena's arm unnecessarily roughly pulling her to the side and walking away.

The policemen who'd first come through the door and spoke to Lena suddenly shouted out across the room at the other man in Spanish and ordered him to put her in a separate cell, much to the arrogant officer's dismay and he pushed her forward.

"Thank you." Jack breathed a small sigh of relief watching her being taken away. "How much longer is this going to take?" He asked when the man was standing before him.

"At the very least twenty-four hours, likely forty-eight is my best guess to weed through the paperwork and statements." He gave Jack a soft smile, "I believe her story and the evidence I've seen so far. Its just the logistics of something like this we have to take all the necessary steps. Especially if he dies…" He lowered his voice turning more into Jack, "I'm doing this more for her long term protection then anything else. If we were to just let her go at the scene of the incident and he dies or any of the others and we didn't bring her in or question her at all, everyone would think she was guilty of manslaughter right away because she is the Tsarevicha of Imperial Russia and got off for that reason alone. It's sad to say but we're 'proving' her innocence in a land that is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. If we follow this through the legal procedures when she's released and cleared it will be because of her innocence, not because of her title." He finished just as softly and Jack nodded with arms crossed over his chest and fingers of one hand grasping at his chin, knowing the man made sense he just didn't like his daughter behind bars. "Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on her while she's here. Nothing is going to happen to her."

"Thank you." Jack spoke just as softly.

"Have you heard anything more about your other daughter?" The nice officer asked with concern. "We haven't been sent any of her medical reports yet." After what Lena had just told them happened to her sister, he felt sick, saddened and raged as a father himself.

"They're still examining her…she hasn't woken up yet." Jack swallowed hard wanting so badly to go see her but not leave Lena.

"There is nothing more you can do here for tonight, you should go to the hospital." He nodded softly at Jack. "I promise I'll keep an eye on her." He gave Jack a small smile.

"Thank you…I'll go for just a little while and come back." Jack answered really wanting to see Nadia and be there with Irina going through this, especially if the CAT scan showed bad results.

"I'm staying." Antony spoke with determination when everyone else said they were going to head to the hospital to see Nadia for a bit now that Lena was in lock up, "I'm not going to leave her here alone…even if I can't see her. One of us should stay…I want to do it."

"Thank you." Jack clasped his shoulder softly with a soft smile, "I feel better leaving knowing your going to stay…call me immediately if something happens."

"I will." Antony nodded sharply swallowing hard, "Give Nadia my love please…if she wakes up."

Max was waiting just outside with the rest of the Security Detail for Jack and the large man had tears in his eyes, something that was very rare, "I'm sorry, Your Highness. So sorry…there is no excuse for my not being there to prevent this. I can't stand the thought of the Tsarevicha in jail or the Grand Duchess being attacked." His eyes let a single tears slip.

Jack looked at the man for a moment and already knew without a doubt how much he loved his daughter and had since she was a little girl, prepared to die for her and saw the honest remorse…his mind thinking back to what Lena said, "Lena told us that she purposely slipped you to go after Nadia who'd slipped Serge…there is enough blame to go around and right now, that's the least of my concerns. You do your job well, Max…she's just too smart and too stubborn sometimes for her own good. Trying to protect everyone else at the expense of herself if need be."

"That's why she's going to be a great Tsar, just like her mother." Max gave a soft smile, "When she's out of there and after I hug her I'm going to give her a stern lecture on slipping me." His eyebrows were set with determination.

"You and me both." Jack smiled softly. "But not now…and not for a while."

When they were gone Antony collapsed into the chair in the jail's entrance with head in hands. Less then two hours ago he was making love with Lena in the bathroom of a club having fun and now she was in jail facing charges for murder. The saying that life can change in a split second kept flashing through his mind and he started praying it was only a temporary disruption.

* * *

"How is she?" Jack asked softly walking into the private room they'd moved Nadia to after her CAT scan and X-rays. Her arm lying by her side had been set and cast once more and her face was now clean of the horrid red blood everywhere, revealing her beautiful face once more except marred now with big ugly red and purple bruises forming. Her eye was already swollen mostly shut and two tiny gauze pads were taped over the lacerations on her eyes and cheek.

Irina was sitting beside her bed in a chair on the far side of the room holding Nadia's good hand while Sydney sat on the other holding onto the tips of Nadia's fingers sticking out from her cast. Katya and Bella were in the chairs in the respective corners and Marcelo was sitting in front of Sydney near the head of Nadia's bed keeping an eye on her vitals.

"No brain damage, thankfully though she has a severe concussion. Her blood alcohol level is quite high," Irina's tears formed again brushing her thumb gently over the back of her daughter's hand, "And they're trying to flush it out of her now, before she wakes up and gets sick, exacerbating her concussion by vomiting." She swallowed hard, "He broke her orbital," Her eyes flashed to Nadia's where her eye was swelling massively from the fracture to her eye socket, "And her arm was fractured in the same spot as before though worse obviously breaking through the skin. What had healed wasn't strong enough to sustain such force." Her voice tapered off, "They've surgically set the bones again and closed the skin and muscle ruptures. And she has six stitches in her cheek, three in her eye, three in her lip...and seven internally…from the tearing." She added so softly it was almost a whisper and the tears finally fell silently from her eyes. "They don't think she'll wake up until late morning or around noon at the earliest." Irina wiped at her eyes, "How's Lena?"

"She's been booked and processed and put in a cell for tonight." He answered quietly with a big sigh while the others in the room gasped with fresh tears or horror at the thought, "They said it would be at least another twenty-four hours before she's released. The Captain is keeping an eye on her…they were going to put her in with all the other detainees but thankfully he stepped in and had her separated."

"Oh thank God," Irina gasped with roiling tears at the thought of Lena in jail and trapped with other prisoners of both sexes as it was just a holding cell and they didn't separate them. "Will you stay with Nadia please? I want to go see her and make certain she's okay with my own eyes…she has to be scared to death."

"Yes, of course…" Jack nodded softly, "I'll stay with her but I don't know that they'll let you see her in lock up."

"Oh yes they will." Irina nodded sharply in turn with determination, "If not they'll be getting a call from their President himself ordering them to let me…No one is stopping me from seeing my daughter." She kissed Nadia's hand and then leaned over to kiss her forehead gently and then lips blinking back the tears as she whispered something in Russian into her ear that only Nadia would be able to hear and then kissed her temple.

"Do we know anything more about the attackers?" Jack asked quietly knowing they were in the same hospital.

"Yes, the little bastardass who was on top of her when Lena kicked him out the window was in the bed next to Nadia in the Emergency Room before they took him into surgery." Irina's anger immediately rolled off her in waves as she approached her husband, "He had a ruptured spleen and compound fractures in the leg and arm and broke his pelvis but he'll live. He's lucky it was only a one story drop." She shook her head, "His blood alcohol level was also exceedingly high as are the other four's." She had to laugh softly in a sarcastic twisted way, "Lena dislocated two knees, shattered the lower leg of one, and broke the femur of another, all four noses, two jaws, thirteen ribs total, three arms and eight fingers and I can't help but be proud of her." New tears flooded her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Jack and they held each other for a moment with Irina kissing Jack's chest lightly over his heart and him kissing the top of her head before they released, kissed on the lips and she left.

* * *

"Sweetheart…" Irina called out softly to Lena who was lying facing away from her and towards the wall in her bunk. The idea of her daughter behind bars was heart wrenching especially considering she had been born in a cell and spent the first week of her life in one.

Lena immediately whipped her head back hearing her mother's voice and jumped off the bed running to the bars and sticking her arms through to hold onto her mother the best she could, and cried. Irina was holding onto her as best she could as well with arms threaded through the bars and their cheeks pressed together trying to get as close as possible. "Is Nadia okay?" Was the first thing she asked holding onto her mother and Irina had to smile that her children were always looking out and concerned for each other.

"She's going to be okay. They cast her arm again and stitched up the cuts and tears," Irina turned her head so they were resting foreheads together through the bars. "She has a broken orbital and concussion but she's going to be okay."

"Thank you God." Lena sighed in relief with a wash of tears having been praying since she hovered over her sister's still form.

"Are you okay, considering?" Irina asked reaching up and cupping Lena's cheeks through the bars searching her eyes.

"I'm okay…they only landed one hit to my face and the rest was sloppy drunkenness trying to grab at me." She sniffled, "Mama…I wasn't trying to kill them…just keep them down so I could get to Nadia, I swear I wasn't trying to kill them." She ended in almost a whisper.

"I know, Sweetheart," Irina sighed with teary eyes and a soft smile, "It's going to be okay… you did everything right and I'm very proud of you…" She thumbed away Lena's tears. "None of them are going to die and you're not going to stay in prison for murder or assault or any other charges. They will be the ones on trial for what they've done…not you."

"I'm so scared for Nadia, Mama," Lena started crying again, "What's this going to do to her? I mean first everything with Junior and then Nikolas and she already hated herself I'm just scared this will push her over the edge and I know this sounds awful, but I'm almost hoping she was too drunk to remember any of it and so thankful she was unconscious when he did rape her…but when she was conscious…what they were doing to her was bad enough." She wiped at her eyes shaking her head at the images, "God, Mama…what they were doing… I hope she never remembers…I pray she doesn't."

"I know baby, I'm worried for her too." Irina reached up to wipe Lena's tears while her own kept falling, "This seems to be the greatest and worst year of her life thus far all in one." She sniffled back her own tears thinking about that fact, with Nadia's Olympic success and all the other strife and tragedy surrounding it. "She told you about Nikolas?" She asked softly having never spoken of the Greek Prince not wanting to betray her daughter's confidence and speaking about it only to Jack and was glad to hear Nadia did indeed talk to her sister at least about him.

"Yes," Lena wiped at her tears, "Right after you two came back…and I know how that feels, to be in love with someone who is unavailable…and why she reacted the way she did when she came home. Partying all the time and acting happy to mask the hurt…it's the same thing I did with Antony."

"So you think she's in love with him or did she actually say that she was?" Irina asked softly trying to gauge the situation and the build-up leading to tonight's events.

"I think she's in love with him…she just won't admit it to herself or at least say it out loud. The way she talked about him and the way her eyes and smile lit her entire face while she was telling me about their time together all the way up until his girlfriend walked in…she was definitely falling in love with him if she hadn't already. She fell fast and hard and then it was gone in the same instant." Lena shook her head sniffling again, "She's been dating all these other guys and having sex with them to try and forget about him and any feelings she had about him and when that doesn't work she drinks…Her heart was already fragile before she met him but after…it just seemed to be the final straw to break something inside her that she can't and we can't, put back together or fix…I'm just terrified that this will take those broken pieces and shatter them into dust so it will never be possible fix…God, I hope she doesn't remember." She gasped again shaking her head.

"Lena, you need to tell me exactly what did happen…so I can be prepared if she does wake up and remembers," Irina cried with silent tears of experience with waking up from a nightmare like this. Finding out she was raped while unconscious was going to be hard enough to deal with.

"It's horrible Mama," Lena shook her hand with hands grasping the bars not wanting to recant it, knowing what happened the last time one of her sister's sexual stories was recanted. She already had to give this vivid description to the police.

"I know what you're thinking about…" Irina wrapped her hand around Lena's on the bars, "When she told us about Dubey, but Sweetheart, this isn't the same thing. What these guys did to your sister was not consensual and if she does remember and even if she doesn't and her mind blocked it out for now, I need to be prepared because these will be demons unlike any other she's ever faced and they will haunt her day and night and consume her…with her already in such a state before this, I'm very terrified for her…please, I know its hard but burying it isn't going to help her… and it isn't going to help you either…I know it has to tear you apart inside to see someone you love, your sister…in a position like that."

Her mind flashed immediately to Sydney having the same trouble after their return trip to Kashmir after watching Cuvee take his revenge on her mother. Talking about it was the only way to help Sydney and she knew it would be the only way to help Lena as well.

"Okay…" She took a deep calming breath not wanting to look into her mother's eyes while she recanted the details, "I walked into the room after I heard her scream my name, and when I turned…the one I kicked out the window, was sitting on the couch…he was holding Nadia back against him with her arms pinned down to her sides…she was facing me and screaming for me to help her," She sobbed softly and Irina held tightly to her hands in silent support, "They'd already ripped her shirt off and his hand was grabbing her breast under her bra. His pants were already down and he was trying to align himself to thrust up into her but he was too drunk and she was wiggling hard trying to get away…not staying still and fighting…there were two other guys, one on each side of them, holding her legs completely back and forcing her into doing the splits…" Lena sobbed again thinking about how that move had been so easy for her sister who was the 'perfect gymnast' with unbelievable flexibility and now used against her. "They were helping him to hold her down and…" She swallowed hard and sobbed inside, "Both of them had their fingers inside her at the same time…more then one thrusting up rapidly and laughing with the other who was trying to get his fucking filthy cock inside her…sorry," She sobbed again realizing she was cursing in front of her mother.

"It's okay…" Irina gasped in almost a whisper choking on her need to sob constantly right now listening to her daughter and wanting to be strong for her, leaning her forehead in and Lena met it on the other side.

"Was laughing with them that she was trying to fight them…I was jumped from behind by two of the others and I fought them both off trying to get to her and the two flanking her on the couch jumped up and started fighting with me and then I heard her scream really loudly again and saw the one left with her on the couch had wrenched her arm back…breaking it again pinning her down against the couch while he tried to climb on her pushing her skirt up again… and then jamming his hand or fingers…I don't know which…" She shook her head and inhaled a sob, "Inside her and she was screaming again and tried to fight him off by clamping her legs together and he was screaming at her to open them up and she wouldn't so he hit her…" Her face contorted before let go of a sob struggling to continue and Irina's thumbs were running over her fingers sobbing silently on the other side of the bars, "She went into a daze after that and he was able to get her legs open and tried to thrust into her again and I screamed her name…hoping she was still conscious enough to realize what he was going to do and she clamped her legs against him again…not letting him get close enough to her to enter her and he screamed at her again and I screamed just as he hit her and she went completely limp…" She trembled shaking her head, "He knocked her out and let go of her arm and pulled her hips up against him…and then he thrust into her…all the way," She sobbed gasping for breath and trembling, "And I just lost it and went crazy on the guys around me keeping me from getting to her and I ran forward and he jumped up trying to back away from me but I kicked him and he was gone out the window…" Lena rambled out the end in rush, "I called out her name and shook her softly trying to get her to wake up but she wouldn't and I called you immediately… then my phone went dead…and that's when I was looking her over for more injuries and going to pull her skirt down again that I noticed she was bleeding…then you guys came."

"Okay…" Irina sighed softly trying to comfort her and rein in her own emotions, knowing she'd let them go when she was alone or at least not in front of her child who needed her now. "It will be okay…" She repeated softly while Lena was crying.

"She was screaming my name for me to help her, Mama." Lena sobbed, "I tried to get to her I just couldn't in time." She was haunted now by the image of her sister's face wrenched to the side being held down and dark eyes looking at her screaming her name for help.

"Yes you did!" Irina immediately cupped her face and made her look at her, "You did get to her in time… Lena…if you hadn't have gotten there when you did…" She shook her head trying to hold back the tears and failing at the thought, "All five of them would have been on her, and in her… raping her…you saved her from that." She pulled her back into a hug through the bars, "We'll get through this…just like everything else…as a family, we'll get through this."

* * *

By morning, every major news source in the world was broadcasting and printing the story of the Grand Duchess Nadia, the_ Gymnastics Darling_ fresh in the minds of everyone who'd watched the Olympics, being 'gang raped' by five young men from well-to-do families in Havana who left her broken and bleeding and her sister the Tsarevicha Lena who took on all five of them by herself and subdued them using her Gold Medal winning skills to save her sister, kicking one out the window of a two story building even and now in a Cuban jail being held on possible Assault and if the man died, possibly Manslaughter.

What the family had hoped to keep quiet for a while, at least until Nadia woke up and they could tell her and Lena was out of jail, was immediately world news with so many people seeing what had happened the night before. Such was the problem with living in the public eye. The majority of the world was shocked, saddened, horrified and outraged at the events both in what happened to Nadia and Lena sitting in a jail cell on possible murder charges from saving her sister from the attackers.

Havana was immediately surging with foreign press constantly flying in and hundreds of them gathered outside the jail and hospitals reporting the story and waiting for news.

The Police Captain gave a short brief interview that said only that the Tsarevicha was being held as was standard procedure after such incident during the investigation and no formal charges had been filed as of that moment.

Irina was mobbed in the morning with Katya returning to the hospital and answered only one question, not in the mood to deal with the press at that moment, and when asked if Nadia had regained consciousness yet, she answered with a short, 'no.' And then, "I'm sure you can understand that I don't have time to talk right now as I'm a mother concerned for her daughters." And then quickly sought shelter inside the hospital.

* * *

_Athens, Greece_

"Mama?" Nikolas had literally come running into the house. He was supposed to be having dinner after class with his parents on this night when he'd heard the 'rumors' shoot through campus just as his class was over of, _'Did you hear what happened to the Grand Duchess Nadia in Cuba?'_ And the words _'raped'_ and '_her sister is in jail for possible murder'_ also were thrown into the mix and he flew home to see what if anything his parents knew.

When he flew around the corner into the living room and saw his mother in tears with father beside her watching CNN on their wide-screen television his heart sank and coiled inside, hoping that it had been just a rumor that was exaggerated.

"Is it true?" He asked breathless and with tears forming in his eyes and choking on a sob when his mother nodded 'yes,'

"They're about to come on with a medical update…here it is." His mother's voice was heavy with emotion and her heart was breaking all over again, having suspected that he'd fallen in love with the Russian Grand Duchess during her brief stay as he hadn't been the same since and broke up with his girlfriend in the same week she left, now seeing his face and the tears slipping from his eyes, she knew it was true.

"_We caught Her Majesty Empress Irina before entering the hospital to see her daughter the Grand Duchess Nadia, after leaving the jail seeing her other daughter, the Tsarevicha Lena who is still being held at this time. Word is that she is being kept in a separate cell from other detainees but that's the only news on the Tsarevicha at this time. Obviously, very upset and concerned for her daughters' lives, the Russian Tsar had little to say with a lot on her mind…" _The news announcer flashed from footage of him standing in front of the hospital to the segment they'd just taped of Irina and Katya entering the hospital, Nikolas swallowed a small sob when they asked if Nadia had regained consciousness yet and Irina answered only with '_no_' and then _'I'm sure you can understand that I don't have time to talk right now as I'm a mother concerned for her daughters.'_

"_What we do know right now,_" The broadcaster came back on again holding a sheet of paper, "_Is that the Grand Duchess Nadia was brought into the hospital last evening sometime around 2:30AM…and we actually have some amateur footage of her arrival here at St. Joseph's… Warning to those with young children in the room, it is graphic so you may wish for them to leave the room at this time."_

Nadia being unloaded from ambulance after Irina and Sydney jumped out flashed onto the screen and the cameraman zoomed in on Nadia, her blood covered face, body covered with a light blanket and her arm was surrounded by an enormous stabilizing device of some kind though the jagged bone poking out of the skin was clear and grotesque.

Nikolas and his parents all gasped with his mother openly sobbing while he tried to swallow at seeing her like that and his mind flashing to her beautiful smile on the beach with hair blowing lightly around her face and the laughter as he swung her out of the waves to avoid getting her cast wet.

_"She sustained a complex fracture piercing the skin, more severe than during the Olympics and in the same arm, re-injuring an injury not quite fully healed apparently, several face lacerations, severe contusions from being beaten and knocked unconscious as we're told and sustaining a fractured eye-socket, the orbital bone," _The field journalist traced the contour of the bone under his eye giving people an idea of what he was talking about, "_A severe concussion and several sutures. No word on her internal injuries or further damage from the assault at this time. Doctors expect her to regain consciousness sometime this afternoon."_

_"What about her attackers Ben, do we know anything at all yet about who these guys were?"_ The broadcaster in the studio had tears in her eyes having covered the young Grand Duchesses at the Olympics and interviewed them both personally, now heart breaking for them.

_"Apparently they are five young men of college age, all seventeen and eighteen that come from wealthy families here in Cuba, two of them at least we're told are sons of two separate tobacco plantation owners and those are really the only details we have on them other then their injuries sustained fighting with the Tsarevicha Lena who was trying to fight them off her sister."_ The field broadcaster answered. _"The one who went out the window is holding in Serious Condition but should be moved up to Stable sometime today and the rest are all labeled in Stable Condition as well. Most of the injuries they sustained were broken bones."_

_"Do we know if she knew these guys or did they just pick her up somewhere? And where were her bodyguards during all of this?"_ The woman was asking with upset tears in her eyes that something like this could happen.

_"Yes, we do know that the Grand Duchess Nadia did know them before hand…had apparently met on the beach earlier in the day and were seen drinking and dancing at a popular club here in Havana, owned by her mother the Tsar now run by the Grand Duke Julian, and then disappeared from there sometime around 1:15AM. People reported seeing her specifically assigned bodyguard as well as her sisters' in the club until just after 2:00AM…apparently believing that she and her sister the Tsarevicha Lena were conversing in the bathroom for the long period of time, which I guess, is not uncommon for the sisters. The rest of the Imperial children and the Tsarevicha's boyfriend Antony Mazzio were all seen in the club with them until the same time…"_ He paused touching his earpiece, _"The Tsarevicha apparently left the club in search of her sister without her own bodyguard and came upon these five individuals assaulting her sister and that's when the fight broke out. The details are still all coming in and thus far only the Tsarevicha has been able to communicate and relay the events as they happened from the point she arrived, with the others being unconscious and no-one is certain what happened before she got there though they're hoping the Grand Duchess Nadia will be able to remember enough to fill in that gap of time between her last being seen in the club and to where her sister found her. It's unclear if she will or not regain those memories as she had been drinking earlier in the night and then received a serious head injury from several blows to the head causing a severe traumatic head injury with a very serious concussion."_

"My God…" Nikolas mother gasped with hand over her mouth and tears raining down her face.

"_Well thank you for the information Ben and we'll be checking in with you repeatedly during the day for up-to-date information on this sad and terrible situation."_ The announcer switched off from him with the news camera coming back to her and flashing Nadia's picture with her gorgeous smile taken during the medal ceremony at the games up into the corner with Lena's adjacent with her's saying _Crisis in Cuba_.

_"In case you're just joining us today there's been a tragic breaking story coming out of Cuba where the Imperial Family of Russia have been staying this past week as part of a Diplomatic meeting with the new Cuban President. Last night, the Grand Duchess Nadia,"_ they cut to a clip of Nadia at the Olympics landing her amazing routine off the Uneven Bars winning the Gold in that individual event smiling widely waving to fans, _"The 'Darling of the Moscow Olympic Games' this past summer was caught in a tragic situation where she was beaten unconscious and allegedly gang-raped by five college boys from well-to-do families in Cuba last night. Her sister the Tsarevicha Lena, the 'Goddess of the Games' winning an astounding eighteen Gold Medals, put those skills to the test when she came to the rescue of her sister and subdued all five young men, with one being kicked out of a second story window. The Tsarevicha was arrested shortly there after and is being held in a jail in Havana facing possible charges of Manslaughter for retaliating against her sister's attackers. The Grand Duchess Nadia is in Stable Condition though she remains unconscious at St. Joseph's Hospital in Havana. We'll be keeping you posted as the news comes in from Cuba on that situation."_

Nikolas couldn't take his eyes away as they kept playing the images of Nadia's performances at the games over and over during the segments mixed in with other film images of her from Imperial functions and balls looking extremely gorgeous and his heart dropped again when one of the clips shown was Nadia with her mother walking around the ruins in of _Poseidon's Temple_ in Athens during their visit, the very same day he'd seen her smiling that evening on his parents veranda.

"Can you call? And find out if she's awake yet or not…" He turned his head to his mother and father in a rushed panic with silent streams of tears running down his cheeks he didn't seem to know were there.

"Nikolas, Sweetheart, they are probably inundated with calls right now and I don't want to disturb them when they're trying to take care of their daughters." His mother replied with flooding tears seeing her son so upset in a rare display, "I'm sure they'll announce it on the news the moment she does…I know you're upset and worried Sweetheart as are we but there is little we can do in this situation to help and only offer our silent support…she's a strong young woman Nikolas as we saw with her tremendous courage and strength in the Olympics to finish when she was hurt…she'll come through this too. She's like her mother in that way… such strong women they are."

* * *

Nadia's eye slowly began to flutter open hearing the familiar song being hummed in her ear and found the wave of fog in her head. Her vision was blurry and she realized suddenly that one eye wouldn't open and tried to move her hand to touch it though it was heavy and held down as well.

"Nadia." Irina had been laying with her upper body close to Nadia with her face near her daughter's ear, humming to pass the time and hoping it would help her daughter fight back to the land of the conscious. "Hello Sweetheart." She moved to sit up instantly sitting on the side of the bed carefully blinking back tears staring down at her daughter whose one eye was struggling to stay open. "You're in the hospital Doodle Bug…do you remember what happened?" She asked softly holding Nadia's hand in her own.

Nadia shook her head 'no' barely with stiff neck and tears instantly coming to her eyes and spilling from one while seeping from the other so swollen shut her eye lashes here shown. Fear was immediately gripping at her feeling like something terrible had happened and she couldn't figure out what. "No…" She croaked out softly. "We were at the club…" She spoke of the last thing she remembered and Jack handed Irina a cup of water with a straw for her to take a sip and wet her throat.

"Yes that's right…we were all at the club. But you don't remember leaving?" Irina spoke in a calm soothing voice holding back the tears.

Nadia thought hard for a moment and everything seemed fuzzy and she was drawing a blank. "No." She gripped her mother's hand more tightly and more tears fell, "What happened to me?" Asking in a whisper.

"You were attacked Sweetheart," Irina answered so quietly it was almost a whisper and this time a tear did fall.

"Attacked?" Nadia's heart began to pound and her heart monitor beeps picked up rapidly. "How? Who?" She immediately tried to feel her face again, letting go of Irina's hand to touch it though it felt completely numb…numb and enormous with gauze patches in places. She tried to pick the other arm up again and it was a struggle to get it to bend so weak but she managed to and more tears flooded her eyes seeing the cast back on her arm. "Broken? Again?"

"Yes, Sweetie." Irina nodded softly, "You left the club last night when no one was aware…you left with the five guys from the beach…you had a lot to drink…Lena came to find you and you were at one of the guys places to party downtown…they were assaulting you, Sweetheart…" Her voice was thick with emotion and watched painfully as Nadia's one eye widened considerably with rampant streams of tears falling from it and Jack used the backs of his fingers to wipe them away, offering his silent support standing beside her bed while Irina broke the horrible news to her, "Lena was able to get them off of you but they hit you very hard and knocked you out…because you were fighting them." Her tears dripped from her chin and she reached up with her one free hand to finger away a fat tear that had finally fallen from her swelled eye.

"Assaulted how?" Nadia asked with soft quivering voice fearing the look of the answer she already saw in her mother's eyes and felt in her heart. _"Raped?"_ She croaked out in barely above a whisper.

"Yes." Irina nodded softly with constant tears welling and falling.

Nadia's one eye closed squeezing out more tears before face contorted and she started crying and Irina immediately closed over her protectively, holding her tightly and crying with her.

"It's going to be okay, baby …it's going to be okay...I love you so much…forever and always, Nadia…I love you."

After crying for a good long while, Nadia spoke into Irina's hair asking about her sister, "Is Lena okay?" Noticing that Sydney was in the room but not her other sister.

"Yes, Sweetheart, she is okay." Irina answered softly with a slight smile and nod as she pulled back.

"Where is she?" Nadia asked with knit eyebrows seeing there was something else not being said.

"She's in jail," Irina's voice was calm trying to keep her daughter that way as much as possible.

"Jail?" Nadia gasped with new rapid tears and pounding heart, "Why?"

"Because to get to you, she had to fight off those who attacked you and who in turn were attacking her…You were still conscious then but trapped by one of them on the couch…she couldn't get to you through the four fighting her and then he knocked you unconscious because you were fighting against him…he proceeded to assault you," She spoke very quietly with more silent tears, "And Lena hurt them all very badly knocking them unconscious to get to you…and when she did, she kicked your attacker and he fell backwards out the window falling down a story to the ground on the street ...he almost died."

Nadia's eye went extremely wide again and heart monitor went into a frenzy.

"Because of that, she was arrested just after and is being held in jail…but don't worry, Sweetheart, we're going to get her out. Hopefully tomorrow morning, if not late tonight." She gave her a soft smile, "She told me to tell you she loves you very much and she'll come see you as soon as she gets out…and wanted me to give you a kiss from her." She leaned forward and kissed the side of Nadia's mouth.

* * *

"How are you doing?" Jack asked taking a seat next to Julian, Weiss and Nicholas outside Nadia's room. The look on their faces was a mixture of anger and sadness.

"Having a really difficult time not going down the hall and killing them." Julian replied softly with hands together and fingers brushing in a point lightly over his lips, staring at the floor and into space with elbows on knees as he leaned over.

Jack put his hand on his back offering silent support having the same difficulty especially just after watching Nadia learn what happened to her. "She doesn't remember anything. Your mother just had to tell her…the last thing she remembers is being at the club."

"I pulled the security footage from there last night." Julian sighed rubbing his temples. "Nadia walked into the hall with the bathroom, Serge took his post at the end and less then thirty seconds later, the one Lena kicked out the window…followed her down the hall. The rest of them left out the front at the same time. The camera in the back by the Exit picked Nadia and the guy up again with him leading her out the door holding not her hand…but her forearm… and then jumped into the car the others pulled around back."

"So you don't think it was her plan then to slip Serge? And leave with them?" Jack's eyebrows knit after listening to the details, it definitely didn't seem that way.

"He followed her into the hallway…whether they planned that or not I don't know, but the way he was holding her arm and pulling her along out the back door," Julian shook his head softly, "I'll show you the footage…and let you see what conclusions you come to. But to me-"

"And me." Weiss voiced suddenly with so much emotion behind it, it cracked slightly.

"She looks extremely hesitant about going with him and them…she's pulling on her arm and stands firm not wanting to get into the car but they grab her around the waist and pull her in." Julian finished quietly with eyes flashing up and across the small hall to meet with Weiss's who had believed the same thing when the two watched it very early this morning. "Lena came running out with Antony, Jaxx and Nicolai sometime after…she hotwired a bike and took off with the others going back inside. Why don't you explain that…" He prompted his younger brother softly.

"Lena went to the bathroom I guess and I was keeping an eye on Nadia from across the dance floor," Nicholas sighed with tears forming in his eyes again though he tried to keep them back, "I saw her go to the hallway not too long after that I guess and thought she was doing the same…I didn't see the guy follow her back there," He shook his head feeling guilty for not keeping a better eye on her, "I guess I wasn't worried about watching her while she was in the bathroom and it wasn't until Lena came storming at me with Antony asking where Nadia was and then yelling at me that I was supposed to keep an eye on her…we were both panicked and scared," Nicholas swallowed hard, knowing his sister didn't mean to yell at him, "We noticed the guys were gone too and I told her I thought she was in the bathroom, but Lena said she wasn't and then remember the back door. So we ran out there to see if we could spot her…but she was gone already. Lena decided that she would just go get her…she remembered the place where they said they hung out partied at from earlier on the beach…Antony wanted to go with her but she said if he did, there wouldn't be a place for Nadia to sit on the bike…she said not to worry. She didn't think the guys would attack her…she just planned on getting Nadia and coming right back before anyone knew they were gone," He wiped quickly at the fallen tear, "I told her I thought she should take Serge with her but she said, 'no' they would just have to call out the whole detail and then wake up you and Mama and it would be a mess and make a big deal out of something that she didn't think would be…she didn't want to make Nadia more freaked out then she already is by having all of you storm in there. So she took the phone with her and said she'd call if she needed help and then left, telling us she'd be back shortly with Nadia." He was quiet for a moment and then shook his head again softly with more falling tears that he ignored, "I knew not to trust those guys…I got a bad vibe from them on the beach."

Jack nodded softly at him once, meeting his eyes and remembering very clearly his son's reaction on the beach and uneasiness. He was as good at reading people as his mother was and extremely so where his sisters and nieces were concerned. He was right about Parker, and Antony and he was right about these guys too. Jack also had an uneasy vibe from the boys at the beach around his daughter but he couldn't be sure if it was just his overly protective father vibe at work and on edge of his own people reading skills.

"So if she doesn't remember…which personally I'm glad she doesn't," Weiss spoke quietly, "What does this mean for Lena? With no one to back up her story?"

"I don't think its going to matter. With the medical reports and the scene the police came upon and the way they found her," Jack swallowed hard remember clearly that horrendous image of coming around the corner and seeing her on the couch, "Along with Lena's statement…she'll be let go, hopefully this afternoon." He was quiet a moment, "Unfortunately, if she doesn't remember there is a possibility…the only one they're going to be able to charge with anything, for what happened to Nadia most likely, is the one kicked out the window. The one Lena actually saw physically hitting and then raping her." His voice was quiet and quivered slightly at the end, "His sperm was the only one collected from her in the Rape Kit…it doesn't mean the others didn't as well, it just means…" He nodded and they all knew what he meant, that the others either didn't have pre-cum expelled when they penetrated her or they pulled out before ejaculation.

"They can still be charged for Assaulting Lena, which they damn sure will be." His voice was like steel as he sat up a bit. "And damn sure going to try to get them all on Aggravated Sexual Assault and Battery for Nadia and Aggravated Assault for Lena."

"Do they think they can get the other four on Aggravated Sexual Assault?" Weiss asked quietly not knowing any of the details about what they'd done to Nadia only that they had.

"With what Lena told Irina about what she saw them doing to Nadia…" He looked intently at Weiss to convey how horrendous it was, "Absolutely." He said firmly but his insides were flipping wildly at what his wife had come back to the hospital and told him in private and he held her while she broke down sobbing uncontrollably that this had happened to one of her daughters too. Her worst nightmares from her own past now haunting her in the present with acts committed against her child.

* * *

_***The Beach Song***_

Nicholas had yet to go in and see his sister since she was awake and was shaking when he came through the door, trying hard to keep his tears from forming and falling. His plan failed when she turned her head to look at him and he instantly broke into tears walking towards the bed.

"Hey," Nadia reached her hand out to him, giving him a small smile seeing how upset he was, "I'm okay…come on, I won't break." She laughed softly when he was hesitant to take her hand or get too close seeing how bruised and swollen her face was now as time set in and made it terribly horrendous where he'd hit her.

One half of her face was as beautiful as ever while the other was a sick mirage of red, purples and blacks with gauze bandages over stitched skin and swollen tremendously. When he grasped her hand she pulled him down to her to hug him lifting her broken arm and wrapping it around his back to keep him there for a moment while he cried into her neck, feeling guilty that he wasn't able to protect her and she had been so hurt.

"I'm okay, Cowboy…" She spoke softly in his ear with new tears building in her eyes and many others in the room crying over their smiles that she was comforting him. "You're going to have to keep driving me around though as it seems I really won't be able to take _Mama's School of Bad Ass Driving_ test any time soon." She laughed softly as did many in the room including Nicholas who kissed her unharmed cheek carefully and pulled back smiling and wiping at his tears that his sister's humor was still in tact.

"Anywhere you want to go, Cossack…I'm your man." He smiled wiping his tears sitting on the edge of the bed carefully. Their nicknames for each other had stuck since they were little beginning with Weiss and carrying through to them.

"I know I can always count on you…my older brother by all of thirty seconds." She smiled laughing softly and making the others do the same. She had the same incredible ability to bounce back immediately from a horrible situation to make everyone else feel better as her mother.

* * *

_Athens, Greece_

Nikolas had refused to sleep and sat up on the couch watching CNN playing the same segment over and over on Nadia and Lena waiting for any new update. His mother had stayed up with him for quite sometime as well before making her way to bed and he held his breath when they announced they had new information on the Grand Duchess.

_"Good news coming at you from Havana, Cuba. We've gotten word that the Grand Duchess Nadia has indeed awoken after being unconscious for almost fourteen hours after being battered and assaulted. The reports from someone inside the hospital said that she didn't remember anything and was apparently, what I can only imagine,"_ He shook his head sadly, _"A heart breaking scene this morning when the Tsar broke the news to the Grand Duchess of what happened to her. They said she was upset and rightfully so for quite sometime before bouncing back and as we last heard was trying to make her family all feel better by getting them to laugh and smile with her humor." _He smiled softly_, "She's quite a remarkable young woman as we all know and already bore witness to during the Olympics."_

Nikolas couldn't help but smile with the silent new streams of tears running from his eyes to hear she was awake and imagining her trying to make everyone else feel better by making them laugh, something that was 'so her' and could easily picture in his mind.

_"That is good news, Ben."_ The woman smiled with tears in her eyes, _"We're happy to hear that the Grand Duchess Nadia is awake and you're absolutely right about her being remarkable…Any word on the Tsarevicha Lena?"_

_"None at this time I'm afraid. We do know that she's been told her sister is awake which had been a great concern to the Tsarevicha and a question she was reportedly to be repeatedly asking from her cell in the jail." _He gave a small smile,_ "As far as we know they're hoping she is released later this afternoon or tomorrow morning."_

* * *

_Havana, Cuba_

"So she doesn't remember anything?" Lena asked walking rapidly down the hospital hallway with Antony, her father and Sydney after finally being released from jail in the early evening. She'd gone back to her hotel room to quickly get cleaned up and then headed straight to the hospital to see her sister.

"No…the last thing she remembers is being at the club. We haven't told her very much, not wanting to overwhelm her…she only knows that she was raped and beaten by the five guys and that you saved her." Jack smiled with tears in his eyes looking over at his daughter taking her hand and squeezing it. "She doesn't know any of the details you told us only that you took her attackers out and were arrested and have been in jail."

Lena's eyes were watering with tears as they paused just before Nadia's room entrance and took a deep breath. Jack grasped her shoulders and kissed her forehead with a soft nod and smile of support.

"Look…it's my savior." Nadia smiled seeing Lena step through the door. Lena immediately burst into tears in seeing her and crossed the floor in seconds, leaning over and holding Nadia as tightly as she dare with Nadia's arms once again going around her siblings back.

"Hey now…what is it with you guys?" She teased with a smile and tears in her eyes, holding Lena as tightly as she could while her sister cried in her neck now, "I'm okay…"

The weight of Nadia's cast against her back sent another sob through Lena as she remembered the scream from her sister when he'd broken it again and the image raced through her mind.

"I heard you kicked some major ass," Nadia smiled softly trying to make her sister feel better, "They should have known better then to mess with my sister."

She clasped Lena's hand with her good one when her sister pulled back sitting on the edge of the bed still crying and breaking into a soft smile she couldn't help looking at Nadia's smile in spite of what her face looked like and knowing her sister was trying to make her feel better.

"Thank you…for coming after me, finding me…and saving me…I don't remember it," Nadia's tears were rolling from her eyes even as she smile softly holding tightly to Lena's hand, "But I'm very grateful to you." Her face flinched as she tried to hold back a sob realizing all her sister had done for her and what it cost her too, "I'm sorry you had to go to jail for me."

"No," Lena cried immediately shaking her head, "I didn't go to jail because of you…its not your fault…I went to jail because of what I did, and I don't regret it at all." She gave her a small smile through another held back sob; "I'm just sorry I couldn't get to you sooner…and that I didn't see you leave in the first place." Lena started crying unable to hold it back.

"Hey, no…" Nadia cried pulling her back down to her and holding her while Lena cried into her hair and neck, "It's not your fault I left and you didn't see me…and you got to me, Lena, that's all that matters to me…you came for me…that's all that matters." She cried softly with her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Lena sobbed softly into her neck.

* * *

_Two days later:_

"Mama," Nadia was lying on her side in her hospital bed facing her mother, "How long do I have to stay here? How long before we can leave?" She asked quietly having lots of time to think over the last couple of days since waking up and growing more uneasy every day at what she knew happened, but didn't remember.

"I don't know, Sweetheart." Irina set her files aside working on Imperial matters while she thought Nadia was sleeping. Her eyes were holding Nadia's intently seeing the clouds forming and threatening to build a thunderstorm of swirling emotions. The two of them were alone in her room and thus far, Nadia had asked nothing of what happened to her though Irina could see in her eyes she was struggling with herself about wanting to ask and never wanting to know.

The swelling in her face had gone down considerably allowing her to see better out of her eye though the bruising to her face grew more ugly everyday making it look ten times worse then when it was puffy and swollen. Angry black was now replacing the red hues all over the entire left side of her face. With the reduction in pain medication, Nadia was no longer numb but very sore and stiff and where she hadn't felt any pain before on the drugs only having been told what had happened to her, she could now feel greatly. The tearing, pain and bruising inside and around lower body in the shapes of ugly hands prints tattooed into her skin, were the remnants of events she didn't remember and with their truth, the reality of it all began to set in.

"I want to go home." Nadia spoke softly wrapping her fingers over her mother's who had just taken her hand. "I want to go home." She repeated in almost a whisper with tears welling.

"Okay." Irina whispered in return with her own eyes filling with tears and leaned forward to gently kiss Nadia's forehead, letting her lips linger before lowering her head to the pillow and pressing their foreheads together. If her daughter wanted to go home, she would make it happen and quickly.

* * *

"So everyone in the world knows what happened to me?" Nadia asked quietly the next day sitting in the chair staring out the window while Irina brushed her hair and pulled it back into a ponytail getting ready to leave the hospital the next morning.

She was wearing jeans and a formfitting zippered hooded sweatshirt in spite of the Cuban heat to cover the bruises marring her body; with the sleeve of the black sweatshirt had been cut off to enable the cast covering her entire arm once more, all the way to her shoulder having to start all over in the healing process and would be in the cast again for another three months.

"Yes, they know you were beaten and assaulted…" Irina spoke quietly finishing Nadia's hair as her daughter couldn't do it on her own with one arm permanently bent at the elbow for the time being and Nadia too sore to move raising her arms without grimacing. "But they don't know the details. Only your sister, father, the police and I know exactly what happened."

"That's more than I know…" Nadia answered in almost a whisper, "Can we go now, please? I just want to go home." She turned away from the window with pleading tear-filled eyes towards her mother.

"Me too." Irina gave her a soft smile reaching for the sling and helping Nadia to slip her cast and arm into it. "Let's go."

"I'm not riding in that wheelchair." Nadia saw the nurse come through the door with the standard wheelchair to ride out of the hospital in, as was hospital procedure, "I'm not riding in that thing. I can walk." She shook her head and Irina couldn't help but chuckle as well as Jack seeing her stubbornness rearing its head.

"Okay." Irina complied understanding on a deeper level why it wasn't just stubbornness that she didn't want to be wheeled out in a wheelchair, it was that she didn't want to feel any weaker then she was or appear that way to everyone else in the world with the press waiting outside. She wanted the control of walking outside and leaving on her own.

"All right." The nurse smiled softly, "But I still have to walk out with you…and you need to wear sunglasses to protect your eye from the bright sun. It's still having some difficulty with dilation and the doctor wants to make certain you wear protective eyewear outside until it has time to heal."

"I've got them." Nadia gave her a soft smile holding up the black sunglasses in her good hand having already been lectured by the doctor at least twice.

"Good girl." The nurse smiled taking her gently by the arm as they left the room.

* * *

_Athens, Greece_

Nikolas was sitting on the edge of the seat, having not gone to class today knowing that Nadia was being released and hoping to get to see her. He had remained at his parent's house and had hardly left the sofa with eyes rarely ever leaving the television afraid to miss any updates. When the newsman came on with a LIVE broadcast from Havana outside the hospital his heart began to pound rapidly at seeing mass of press immediately start going crazy when the hospital doors automatically opened and the massive Imperial Security detail began to push through flanking the family who were also flanking Nadia trying to protect her as much as they could.

When he saw the devastation to the side of her face he began to cry silently again and tried scanning the rest of what he could see of her body to see what else had been harmed and couldn't see much, covered by her security, her family and her clothes though her arm in the sling was enough. He wanted so badly to see her eyes to trying and gauge what was going on inside her and heart sank that he couldn't with them covered by dark glasses. She was on for only a few moments and then shuffled into the back of a limo immediately with dark windows disappearing out of sight and then driving away.

The reporter then said they were headed immediately to the airfield where they would be boarding _Imperial One_ and flying directly back to Russia with the Grand Duchess not planning on giving any statements at all in regards to what happened.

Nikolas immediately whipped around on the couch to face his parent's, "You're still going to Moscow on business at the end of the week, aren't you?"

"Yes." His father answered knowing already what his son wanted before he even asked.

"Can I come with you, please?" Nikolas asked immediately with a slight tone of pleading in his voice and tear tracks still on his face.

"It's very doubtful, Sweetheart that Nadia will accompany her mother to Moscow after all this. I'm sure she's going to stay in St. Petersburg and not leave the palace for quite some time until she's healed more and had time to process everything…you won't be able to see her anyway." His mother gave him a sad smile.

"I know its just…please, I really want to go to Russia with you." Nikolas swallowed hard. "Even if it's just to speak with her mother…please."

"What happened between the two of you?" His father asked softly, braving the question his parents had been wondering about since her departure and especially since he'd found out about what happened to her and his reaction.

Nikolas was a bit taken aback at first being asked such a forward and direct question from his father about something he wasn't sure how to answer, "I don't know…" He spoke softly, "We had an amazing time together…it was just so easy to laugh with her and talk to her…I love spending time with her and…" He sighed, "I tried to fight it but I couldn't…and when we got back from our last horse ride… I kissed her…and she kissed me back," His eyes were blinking hard to fight off the tears, "And I broke it off when I heard Alissa who walked in just after…Alissa kissed me and I knew Nadia was upset…I never told her about Alissa." He spoke quietly with shame and swallowed hard.

"Nikolas…" His mother gasped softly with an unmistakable disappointment in her tone.

"I know…" He hung his head in shame, "I never intended to lie to her…I never intended to feel the way I did…do…about her. It just all happened so fast with Nadia…I never wanted to hurt her."

"So what happened after Alissa walked in?" His father asked crossing his arms over his chest and brows narrowing, disappointed in his son as well though also understanding. He too, had seen the look on his son's face the first night he walked out and saw Nadia, like he'd been struck with a thunderbolt he was unprepared for.

"Nadia left immediately after, saying she had to go as her mother was waiting, they were going back to Russia." He sighed again shaking his head and swallowing hard, "She wouldn't look at me…and I knew she was upset," His voice was damning himself, "I tried to walk her out and she wouldn't let me…I've never seen or spoken to her since."

"Nikko, Nikko, Nikko." His mother shook her head sadly with new tears looking down at this situation.

"I didn't intend to fall for her, Mama, it just happened! " He tried to plead his case with a quiet voice.

"I know you didn't," His mother sighed and was quiet and then shook her head, "That poor girl…first you break her heart and then this happens to her…I don't suppose she'll be trusting men any time soon."

Nikolas blinked back more tears at the thought, "Please let me go to Russia?" He asked again quietly wanting to make it right…try to explain.

"I'm afraid now, that you're presence will only add more stress to their situation." His mother spoke sadly with the thought.

"Please Mama, I want to make things right with her. I've been wanting to since she left…thought about flying to St. Petersburg, apologizing and begging for her mercy many times…" He shook his head inhaling a deep breath disappointed that he hadn't, "I don't want to think about doing it anymore…I want to actually do it."

"And what do you hope to gain from this? Her forgiveness?" His father asked with a questioning tone on his own fishing expedition for the real truth.

"No, yes…" Nikolas shook his head, "Yes, I would hope to gain her forgiveness…but so much more…" He faded off and it was just as his father suspected.

"That's an awful lot to put on her right now, Nikko. She's been through so much and then to have to try and process what you're wanting at the same time, I don't think it's a good idea right now; too much for her. I think it would be best if you wait." His mother sighed with tears of sadness.

"I've waited too long and that's the problem," Nikolas shook his head, "Please let me come with you…or I'm going to get my own flight and go straight to St. Petersburg." He was determined now not wanting to waste another second realizing time wasn't standing still and it wasn't guaranteed, changing always in the blink of an eye. This time he wanted to change it for the better.


	59. Chapter 59

_**AN: This is a very big chapter but I could not cut it up! **_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): I Love You **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, Fix You **_**by Coldplay**_**.**_

* * *

FIFTY-NINE

o

_Moscow, Russia- One week later_

"Your Majesty," Queen Kristin of Greece hugged Irina with tear filled eyes stepping into her office at the Kremlin seeing her for the first time since Irina had left Greece months ago. "We're so sorry to hear what happened with Nadia." She spoke quietly holding Irina's hands when she stepped back. "How is she doing if we may ask?"

"We're taking it a day at a time." Irina answered softly taking a seat in her large leather arm -chair while the three of them occupied the sofa. She was more then surprised to see the young Prince Nikolas with them though his eyes held nothing but concern. "Her external injuries are slow healing and we've not really begun to deal with the ones internally yet." She was quiet a moment thinking about how the emotional ones always took the longest, "She's just not ready…its going to be a while. She's still making everyone else laugh and smile though." She smiled softly that this was a good sign and Nadia was doing a little better being at home.

"Will she return to school any time soon?" She asked knowing the young woman was attending University in St. Petersburg.

"Not for awhile." Irina shook her head softly, "She wants to go back…just not until her bruising goes away and her stitches are removed. She doesn't want people to be staring at her any more then they already will be." She added softly. "And right now she's still too sore and stiff to be sitting and moving around campus for those long hours in a day. I think we'll have to ease her back into it." She smiled softly, "Her friends have been coming over when their classes are finished making her laugh, which is good…and her niece, my youngest granddaughter, Lara, who's nine…has been keeping her very busy…when I left this morning, they were making beaded necklaces." She laughed softly and they smiled and did as well with the image that presented.

"May I please have a moment alone with Her Majesty?" Nikolas turned to his parents asking softly and they both were expecting this.

Irina's eyebrows rose slightly sitting back and leaning on one arm of the chair, with a bemused smile.

"If its okay with you, Your Majesty…I promise not to take up too much of your time as I know you're on a tight schedule and are supposed to be meeting with my parents." Nikolas asked turning his gaze back to Irina.

"Of course." Irina answered softly with a smile and his parents nodded with nervous smiles of their own and got up to leave.

When the door was closed behind them Irina sat completely silent staring at him intently with head cocked slightly only making him more nervous and he repeatedly swallowed hard.

"I don't really know what to say here so I'm just going to ask for your permission to go to St. Petersburg to see Nadia, the Grand Duchess Nadia, Your Majesty," He quickly amended himself having gotten so used to just calling her Nadia during their time together he momentarily forgot whom he was speaking to in this very formal setting and addressing the Tsar.

"During your stay in Greece, something happened with your daughter that I've never had the chance to speak with her about…you probably think I'm crazy now having no idea what I'm talking about and I'm rambling now." He shook his head and Irina tried not to laugh seeing how nervous he was but managed to keep her Game Face on.

"I know what happened between you and my daughter in Greece." Irina's eyebrow slanted with intimidation, "She told me when she returned from your house that morning before we left. She was quite upset as I'm sure you could imagine." She paused watching him swallow hard, "I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, Prince Nikolas, and assume that your intent in lying to my daughter with the omission of your girlfriend was not out of a malicious or intentionally duplicitous nature."

"No, Your Majesty. It was not." Nikolas answered immediately shaking his head; "I never intended to lie to her at all…it just never came up…I never brought it up." He went quiet.

Irina studied him carefully for a moment with finger tracing over her lips, "Tell me, Nikolas…how do you feel about my daughter?"

Nikolas' eyes went wide for a moment caught off guard with her question the same way he had been with his own parents. But they were his parents…she was the Tsar of Imperial Russia and Nadia' mother. It was all or nothing time.

"The first night at my house, seeing her, speaking with her…was unlike anything I'd ever felt and I can't tell you because its hard to describe to myself…excited, nervous, like my heart was going to explode in my chest some moments and stop completely at others…I'd never had to remind myself to breathe before in my life…and I found myself having to do so many times that evening." He paused and Irina very clearly remembered the interaction and the fiery sparks between them. "It only got worse the next morning when we were having so much fun together and I was trying to fight it…falling for her, because I knew I had a girlfriend." He shook his head and looked at the ground, "But Nadia was unlike anyone I'd ever met…for the first time in my life… I couldn't sleep at night thinking about someone else and I was as excited as I was afraid every morning when she walked into the stable. Excited to see her again and get to spend more time with her, and afraid at the same time because every minute more I spent with her I was falling that much harder and I knew that spending time with her was dangerous because of that…but I was selfish…and I craved it, couldn't get enough of seeing her…spending time just the two of us…felt like I was in a dream and I didn't want it to end."

'_Oh boy,'_ Irina thought as it sounded entirely familiar from her own love life with Jack and knowing now, her instincts about Nikolas were right.

"That last morning when I helped her off the horse and held her close in doing so, I didn't want to let her go. I knew she was leaving for Russia again and the dream was over the minute I let her go out of my arms…but I couldn't let go and I couldn't fight the way I felt about her anymore…so I kissed her…and she kissed me back and I couldn't think anymore only feel in that moment…everything I'd been trying not to…and realizing she had done the same." His eyes had tears in them and he couldn't look at Irina, was looking up in the other direction but his glistening eyes were quite clear. "Then I heard Alissa and I stepped back and it felt like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs…it all happened so fast after that...and she was gone before I could explain anything…watching her walk away it felt like my world had been crushed…" His voice cracked softly as it faded out and he blinked hard to keep his tears at bay, "I broke up with Alissa right away, I couldn't be with her anymore. I could only think of Nadia. So many times I wanted to get on a plane to come find her, to apologize and beg for a second chance…but I didn't because I knew that I had hurt her…and she deserved better then me…but I can't stop thinking about or caring about her… after three days with her, my life without her is suddenly very empty." He finally flashed his teary gaze for an instant to Irina and then quickly looked away again, speaking with voice full of held back emotion, "When I'd heard what had happen to her it was unlike any pain I've ever felt before in my life…my heart and chest literally ached…that I was so far away and couldn't do anything to help her… I wanted to be there for her…to take care of her…to hold her close and never let anything happen to her ever again." He paused shuffling his foot on the floor trying to rein in his emotion afraid to speak, "I want to be in her life…I want her to be in mine…being with her those few days I've never been happier…and without…never sadder." His eyes finally forced themselves to look at her, "I fell for her fast and hard and I can't go back from that now…I want to make things right with Nadia…I want to be with her...if she wants to be with me." He gulped finishing and then rapidly wiping the stray tear that had fallen as if he hoped she didn't see it.

Silence for over the room like a thick blanket with Irina staring intently at him, not letting him release for her gaze and holding him there while she thought.

"I'm waging a war with myself right now over what's best for my daughter, in this situation." Irina finally spoke, "Normally, I try to stay out of my children's relationships not wanting to interfere unless they are being hurt by it in some way…but right now, my daughter can't make those decisions…she's too hurt…and you came to me first. Her heart was cracked significantly at the beginning of the year, broken into pieces by you…"

She looked at him intently, not sugar-coating anything when dealing with such a serious subject, "And shattered into dust with just happened to her. Those of us who love her very much are trying very hard to keep that dust into a pile and help her to try and put it all back together…with that much damage, its going to take a long time…its not an easy fix."

Her voice was quiet and watched him swallow hard with the barest of nods he most likely did without conscious knowledge.

"I'm warring with myself because it's hard and frightening to make a decision for your child that could affect the rest of their lives…" She paused for a moment, "I believe you will do one of two things to Nadia if you come back into her life right now…that you'll either be able to help her mend her heart in ways we can't help her…or you'll take what's left of her heart and scatter the pile of dust so much so, that she'll never be able to recover."

Irina's fingers brushed over her lips again and tapped twice lightly seeing the tears building in his eyes again, "If you had come to me any time before what happened to her in Cuba, I would have immediately said the risk was worth it if you could mend what you broke…but then again, you wouldn't have come to me and my opinion or decision wouldn't matter because Nadia would be the one you're talking to now. But now, after what she's just been through and still going through, I'm having a hard time with the risk now…and I just don't know that it's worth it because the risk is far greater…and I don't want to lose my daughter."

Her own voice cracked slightly with emotion feeling teas welling in her eyes looking at him and thinking about Nadia, "So now what it right for my daughter? If I were in her position right now, would I want to see you and talk to you? Or would I not? Would it be too much for me right now?" She paused again, "Using my own experience in this situation having been through what my daughter is going through now, I can say that my husband helped me tremendously in a million ways I wasn't even aware of at the time…slowly healing my heart with the little things that mattered so much, he was exactly what I needed."A single tear fell from her eye and then his just after, knowing all that she'd been through and what she was speaking of. "So based on what I know of the positive effect you had on Nadia and how she felt about you after spending time with you in Greece, and from my own experience…in what I needed…I've decided, Nikolas, that you might be, just what Nadia needs right now."

She gave him a soft tear smile, "If you walk out that door right now, you can be to St. Petersburg in 45 minutes and at Alexander in an hour…" She paused watching him smile with more and more silent tears falling though he tried to wipe them away and stop them, "But if you walk out that door and get on the plane, you had better be in this for the long haul if Nadia decides to give you a second chance…don't make me regret taking this risk."

"I won't make you regret it, Your Majesty." He stood quickly with a smile and then serious eyes, "I don't want to hurt her… I just want to hold her…if she'll let me." He laughed softly with nervousness. "Thank you."

"Speak from your heart." Irina smiled standing and speaking softly, "And you'll be just fine."

"Thank you." He smiled again that he was one step closer to Nadia.

Irina kissed both of his cheeks 'goodbye,' "My driver will take you to the airport and I'll have another waiting for you when you land in St. Petersburg to take you to the palace." She took a deep breath hoping to 'God' she just made the right decision and believing in her heart she had, "My husband will be expecting you…but not Nadia."

"Okay, and again, thank you, Your Majesty…" He thanked her yet again with a smile.

"Go ahead," Irina nodded towards the door with a smile, "And good luck…I mean that."

When he was gone she picked up the phone to call her secretary first and arrange Nikolas's ride and then her husband, sitting heavily in her desk chair staring at the pictures of Nadia on her desk.

"Well hello, Gorgeous." Jack's smiling voice answered on the other line instantly making her smile, "To what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice two hours before you normally call me?" He laughed softly while she did too.

"I'm hoping I didn't just send a Trojan Horse your way." She sighed rubbing her forehead with her thumb and forefingers.

"What?" Jack asked confused as to why she was talking about a Trojan Horse, a peace offering the Greeks ostensibly gave to their foes the Trojans during the Trojan War, that turned out to be a trap and the worst mistake the Trojans ever made by bringing it into their city walls where Greek soldiers climbed out of the massive wooden horse structure and took over their beloved Troy.

"You're going to have to explain that one but you've got me nervous here, My Love…what's going on? Who is this potential Trojan Horse you're sending my way?"

His mind rapidly clicked the pieces into place wondering what she was talking about Greek history for, and then the fact that she was meeting with the Greek Royals today and whom she could possibly be sending his way and then…

"The Greek Prince? _The one who lied to her and broke her heart?_" His anger was immediately on the rise thinking about another young man who broke his daughter's heart. "Oh wife, please tell me no?"

"Yes." Irina answered quietly and heard Jack groan instantly, "Jack, just listen…you know how Nadia feels about him. "

"Yeah, but that was before he broke her heart by lying to her!" Jack immediately interjected.

"Her feelings for him didn't change…she just added hurt to them." She answered quietly, "We are both familiar with this concept…we've both broken hearts, Jack, and we've both had ours' broken…but there was still love…and that's how we got past the hurt." Jack went quiet on the other end knowing she was right and then sighed, "He wants the same chance. I just had a long talk with him about it, which I'll tell you all about when I get home and have more time but he flew all the way to Russia and is now on his way to St. Petersburg to find her and talk to her, to try and make things right and to apologize for lying to her; sound familiar?" She asked with a smile in her voice.

"Yes," Jack answered in defeat knowing he did the same thing, coming to find Irina after he lied to her and told her he used her. "I just don't want her to get hurt anymore." He sighed scrubbing his hand over his face.

"Neither do I, which I also expressed my concerns to him before I sent him up your way. I believe his intentions are honorable, Jonathan." Her voice was soft and smooth and held great emotion and truth as well as a hint of trepidation for the unknown. "I think he might be just what she needs right now…that he can help her in ways we can't…just like you helped me."

Jack was quiet a moment thinking things over and knew she was right about all of it. How Nadia felt for the Greek prince, that he did deserve a chance to make things right with her and that he might be the best thing for Nadia right now but he still didn't like the unknown either, scared of that risk as he knew she was or she wouldn't have begun the conversation the way she did when she first spoke on the phone.

"Fine. But I'm going to thoroughly examine this Trojan Horse before I let it inside our palace walls." He answered her and heard her laugh softly.

"Jack, just please don't threaten him or scare him away." She smiled softly laughing softly at his phrasing with a word play.

"I won't threaten him but if he's scared away by me then he's not worthy of her anyway." Jack's eyebrows set into a pinch.

"I don't think he will be and I do, honestly think he's worthy of her. You'll see the sparks I'm sure when you see them in a room together." She smiled softly praying this worked out.

"I'm going to trust your motherly instincts on this one because you were right about Sydney and Vaughn and Julian and Ash 'and' Lena and Antony." He listed them all off animatedly breaking into a smile and knowing she wore one on the other end as well.

"You're forgetting a few…" She teased him with a raging smile.

"Who?" Jack asked thinking hard in that second.

"Sophia and Eric, Sergei and Madeleine, Marshall and Carrie and Judy and Kendall." She listed them all off and laughed softly.

"Okay, so you're better at reading people then I am; we've known that for quite sometime now," Jack smiled and laughed shaking his head thinking about that cargo plane flight so long ago to India when he hated the fact that she was able to read Sydney so well. "I miss you…" He added after a second with his heart dropping into his words making her smile softly.

"I miss you too." She answered back quietly with smile still in place, "I have to go now…I love you, Jonathan."

"I love you, My Love." He answered back with a smile before hanging up.

* * *

St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace

Nikolas was extremely nervous getting out of the limo in front of the massive palace and jammed his hands into his pockets, stepping out and taking note of the beauty around him with the freshly fallen snow causing everything to twinkle in the sun. He'd only been to this palace once, during the wedding reception of the Grand Duchess Sydney's wedding and he was just a baby. Every other time he'd been to Russia for Imperial balls or functions it was either at Peterhof or the Winter Palace. This was their 'home' and that was quite different.

He rang the doorbell as the limo driver drove away to park the car presumably in the garage someplace away and stood in front of the massive door with heart pounding.

Dmitri was walking to the door and Jack not far behind him, knowing who' the guest was though he said nothing to anyone about his impending arrival.

Nikolas smiled nervously when Dmitri opened the door, "Hello, my name is Nikolas Cassadine…I'm here to see the Grand Duchess Nadia." He spoke in fluent Russian one of the several languages he knew well.

"Is she expecting you, Prince Nikolas?" Dmitri asked with soft knit eyebrows having not seen the young man in a long time and recognizing his name though he had no idea why a Greek prince was suddenly standing on their step asking for Nadia. With everything that had happened to Nadia, he was on high alert and very protective of her.

"Uh…no Sir," Nikolas answered with great nervousness and a bit of surprise the man knew who he was, wandering if he'd be let in or not or if his arrival was announced before Nadia saw him, would she refuse to see him.

"It's alright, Dmitri." Jack spoke behind him and Dmitri stepped back exposing the young prince to Jack and vice versa, "Could you please got tell Nadia that Prince Nikolas of Greece is here to see her." He spoke to Dmitri without taking his intent eyes off the young man.

"Of course, Your Highness." He nodded at Jack meeting his eyes for just a moment with clear unspoken fatherly and grandfatherly protectiveness in place in both their eyes. He ushered Nikolas in and shut the door behind him, leaving him to stand a few feet in front of Jack.

"My wife called and told me of your impending arrival and spoke briefly of your intentions with my daughter here today. I too, know what happened in Greece." Jack spoke with a voice of steel, making his intentions clear before pleasantries and Nikolas swallowed hard but kept his eyes locked with Jack's. "I don't think I have to state the obvious but just so we're clear, she's already been through enough…do not add yourself further into the list of things she has to recover from. Are we clear, Prince Nikolas?"

"Yes, very clear, Your Highness." Nikolas nodded keep his eyes locked on Jack's, "I don't want to hurt her. I never wanted to in the first place." He added quietly. "I care for your daughter very much and I want to make things right with her."

"Then as long as Nadia is happy, we shouldn't have a problem." Jack stepped forward and extended his hand grasping the young prince's firmly.

* * *

"Nadia," Dmitri stepped into the living room where she was watching television with Anya, Lena, Antony, Nicholas, Jaxx, Eva, Ria and Mia. "There is one Crown Prince Nikolas of Greece here to see, Your Highness." He smiled softly seeing her eyes go wide and mouth fall slightly open.

"He's…here?" She asked in disbelief speaking in a whisper.

"Yes, Your Highness." Dmitri smiled nodding.

"At our house? Just out there?" She asked again pointing with her finger out of the room.

"Yes, Your Highness…he's standing out there talking with your father now." Dmitri smiled and Nadia gasped jumping up in spite of the pain such a move caused.

"He's with Daddy?" Nadia swallowed hard wondering how that conversation was going. "Oh God…" She gasped looking down with hand to her mouth and pounding heart not knowing what to do and in shock that he was here all the way from Greece. Her eyes flashed over to Lena's whose eyes widen with raised eyebrows and a crooked smile with the two of them having a silent conversation and then, "What do I say to him?" She asked breathless to her sister for guidance completely feeling out of control in this moment.

"I don't know…but I wouldn't leave him out there with Daddy too long." Lena smiled and watched as Nadia's eyes widen again as if forgetting that's where he was.

She walked quickly around the sofa and then towards the door with everyone else in the room looking at each other for a moment.

"Oh, I'm not missing this." Mia smiled and jumped up leading them all and following behind Nadia.

Nadia's rapid walk had turned much slower the closer she came to the foyer and then felt her heart skip a beat when turned the corner and saw him standing across the massive room in front of the door with her father. He looked more gorgeous then ever and she damned the butterflies suddenly fluttering around madly in her stomach the closer she came to him.

His breath caught when he first saw her come around the corner and in spite of the giant black, purple and green bruise he saw covering her face even from that far away, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. His eyes raked over her entire form taking note of the much larger cast on her arm then the one he had seen her with in Athens and the sling that must have been pulling on her neck as she adjusted it midway across the floor. His eyes locked onto hers' and held when she stopped ten feet away from him.

Behind her another five feet, everyone else stopped watching the showdown of silence.

"Hello Nadia," Nikolas finally choked out giving her a small smile.

"Prince Nikolas," She addressed him formally with a stern voice and eyebrow slanted as she remembered the last time she saw him, "What are you doing here?" She asked in a much softer voice that back great emotion.

"I came to talk to you," He answered in the same softer voice with so much emotion his eyes pleading with hers, "Please…is there somewhere we can talk? Maybe go for a walk…if you're feeling up to it?" He asked nervously not knowing if she could or should be walking around with some of her injuries still unknown to him but remembering what her mother had just said earlier about her reasons for not returning to school: one of them being too much walking right now.

Nadia was quiet a moment staring at him and Jack saw the sparks between them that Irina had been talking about, the tension in the air and the crackling that could be heard in the silence as she stood there.

"I'll get my coat." She answered in almost a whisper staring at him a moment and then turning to head up stairs.

"I'll get it for you." Lena smiled reaching out and squeezing her sister's hand knowing it was still painful going up and down the stairs and she usually took her time, something of which she didn't have right now with a gorgeous young Greek prince standing there waiting.

"Firecracker, are you sure you're up to walking that far? Especially in the cold?" Jack asked with great concern but wanting to let her make her own decisions on this.

"We won't go far…maybe down to the stables," Her eyes flashed over to Nikolas and held thinking about another stable and knew he would too, "To get out of the cold."

"Okay." Jack nodded softly stepping forward and pushing her hair behind her ear on the good side of her face looking into her eyes when he had her attention again, "Do you want me to have Serge go with you? Or at least follow at a distance?" He asked softly not knowing how she felt about being left alone with a male so quickly after the events of Cuba.

"No, I'll be okay." Nadia answered softly not fearing Nikolas, her fingers of her good hand were lightly finger the locket on her necklace and Jack nodded in understanding; knowing that if she needed anything or felt threatened at anytime, she would set off her new 'Panic' button that was implanted hidden in her locket after last weeks' events. All of the girls now had one in their necklaces and the boys in their watches.

"Here you go." Lena came flying down the stairs with a giant smile wrapping the coat around Nadia's shoulders, closing the one button she could as she couldn't put her arm in the sleeve because of her cast and it made it impossibly to close fully. Nadia hadn't left the house since she'd returned from Cuba so this was the first experience with a coat that wouldn't close.

"Maybe I should go get one of Daddy's?" Lena asked worried her sister would get too cold with her coat open.

"No, its okay…" Nadia shook her head swallowing hard and giving her a soft smile of thanks with her back to Nikolas. "Thank you." She leaned forward kissing Lena's cheek before turning towards Nikolas and the door. He quickly grabbed the handle and opened it, stepping back and allowing her to go through first, his heart feeling like it would implode when she walked by so close to him that he got a whiff of her perfume that haunted his dreams. He turned back to everyone else and then Jack and nodded before closing the door behind them.

"_Grrr-umph!_" Anya growled with a smiled the moment the door closed, "If she doesn't want him, I do!" She laughed softly smiling with the other girls, "My goodness, when did he grow up? He's my age, how did I miss him?" She shook her head with a smile damning herself for not jumping on that _Greek Prince action_.

"He is, very yummy." Eva giggled nodding.

"Very." Ria agreed nodding.

"Mmmhmm." Mia laughed with raised eyebrows. "That is one Greek who can heard my sheep anytime." All the girls burst out laughing instantly.

"Oh brother." Nicholas rolled his eyes with a smile while Jack did the same and shook his head scrubbing his hand over his face to hear them all ogle the dark prince.

"You're not my brother! You're my cousin!" Mia teased with a smile kissing his cheek and laughing when he shook his head. "I can see now, why she's been so quiet about him; he is gorgeous…I wouldn't want to share either." She laughed softly with a smile.

"And why she fell so fast and hard." Anya nodded with a smile, with Jack's interest in their reactions to him suddenly perking wondering what they knew about him from Nadia, "Talk about sparks!" She shook her head with growing smile, "Quite the high tension when those two are in the room…they're about as bad as you two." She nudged Antony and nodded at Lena making them both smile.

"Very true…but also why it smite so much when she found out he had a girlfriend." Ria shook her head with a sad smile.

"Who uses words like _smite?_" Mia asked with raised incredulous eyebrows laughing, "You really are Julian's kid!"

* * *

Nadia and Nikolas walked along the edge of the frozen pond in the soft snow mostly in silence as both were so nervous about what to say or not say.

"How are you feeling?" He asked breaking the silence starting with this first, as he was concerned about her health.

"I'm fine." Nadia answered softly but anything but, "I'm sure my face must look horribly ugly to you." She kept walking looking at the snow, "It is to me. I feel like Two Face from the Batman comics." She laughed sarcastically.

"Hardly." Nikolas answered back immediately, horrified to hear her say that, "You're still the most beautiful woman in the room to me." He looked over at her, walking on the side where her face was so bruised and saw the caterpillar like tracks of stitches across her cheek and eye and caught her gaze for just a moment when she rapidly turned her face towards him in surprise and then looked away again.

"How's your arm?" He asked redirecting the conversation into safer territory for the moment while they worked into this. "Does it hurt at all?"

"It aches sometimes. Especially now, like in the cold but not too badly." Nadia shrugged adjusting her strap of her sling again that was always digging in her neck it seemed, "Mostly, I just am annoyed that I have to wear a cast again. I just got the last one off and I hate the sling that digs into my neck. I can't wait until I get the new smaller cast in two weeks…then I don't have to wear the sling anymore. I'm going to burn the damn thing."

Nikolas laughed softly with the vehemence at which she said 'burn the damn thing' and got her to smile too. "I can't say that I blame you. When I broke my arm falling from my horse when I was five…I told you that story," He looked over at her and she nodded remembering that conversation on horseback when taking about her broken arm before, "I hated wearing the sling and I kept taking it off and getting in trouble by my mom and the doctor for not wearing…but it rubbed on my neck like its doing to yours right now." He smiled, "I threw it in the ocean trying to get rid of it and the damn thing washed back up onto the beach…I got in more trouble then." He laughed softly making Nadia smile again.

"Maybe I can bury mine in the snow then…no one will find it until spring when the snow melts, think that will work?" She asked with a smile and he laughed again shaking his head.

"It's worth a shot though I think you're mother would probably just get you another one from what I know of her…she's very protective of you." He smiled softly.

"Yes…" Nadia answered softly with a soft smile as well thinking about her mother, "But since this is the second recent break and worse than the original, I'm going to do everything the doctors' say as I'm already in jeopardy of never being able to do gymnastics again if it doesn't heal properly." She added softly not liking that news at all when the doctor's told her that.

"They don't think you'll be able to do gymnastics because of it now?" Nikolas asked with pounding heart and sadness for her knowing how much it was a part of her.

Nadia sighed, "They don't know yet…its going to be a wait and see kind of thing where I'm going to have to test it…the only way to do that is by doing gymnastics but that's a long ways off now as I'm in this cast even longer then the last…sixteen weeks total this time." She shook her head looking down at the snow and thinking about for months of this cast after already putting in three months of her time with the other; "They're worried about the bone being weakened now from the multiple breaks in the same arm and that I'll have a problem with stress fractures. The way he broke my arm…not only caused the bone to break in the same place as before but caused another split length wise which is harder to heal."

"I'm sorry." He spoke quietly looking over at her, unable to stop now that she was so close after weeks without her, "I'm praying that's not the case…I know how much it means to you."

"Me too." Nadia nodded softly already saddened by the thought of being out of the gym for seven months total.

Silence once again fell upon them before Nicholas braved a question, "Do you know how it was broken again? You don't have to answer if you don't want, I just-" He rambled seeing the look that came across her face and instantly cursing himself when she cut him off.

"I don't remember anything…but Lena said he broke it wrenching my arm behind my back… to hold me down because I was fighting him." She answered softly surprised she'd revealed that and didn't think twice about doing so with him. Tears started forming in her eyes thinking about how easy it had been to talk to him in Greece and falling back into that pattern now.

"That's pretty much the only detail I know, that and what he did to my face…same reason, I was fighting him and so he punched me…I kept fighting and he hit me again knocking me out…the split in my cheek and eye were because he was wearing rings…my lip was just the impact of his fist." Her tongue automatically darted to the inside of her lip in the corner to feel the three stitches there and quickly pulled it back as it was still tender. "I don't know what else he did or the others…I don't remember and I don't want to know right now…not now." She shook her head softly with blurry tears and speaking in a whisper of the internal struggle she had daily since about asking for the details or leaving them blocked out in her mind.

Nikolas had remained silent, surprised that she was saying so much about it when he'd expected her to be closed off and tried to blink back the tears in his eyes at hearing it.

"Bastards…" He spoke softly shaking his head with tears in his eyes just before reaching the stable doors that Nadia pulled open.

"Yes…guys who weren't what they appeared to be," Nadia's tear-filled gaze flashed back to his as they stepped inside the warm building, "A lot of them in the world apparently." She held his gaze for a moment and he swallowed hard before she looked away and walked further inside the massive structure where the sounds of horses could be heard instantly, stamping their hooves and making small whinny noises at seeing Nadia whom they knew well, one in particular was shaking its head up and down behind the stall doors making a lot of noise at seeing her.

"Hello Beautiful," She smiled sweetly at her horse reaching in with her good arm over the opened upper portion of the stall door where the animal was sticking its head out.

"Is this your horse?" Nikolas asked with an awed smiled taking in the gorgeous creature with the long black mane.

"Yes, this is Sheera…" The similarities of her horses name his as well as the same breed, made him smile. "You missed me, huh girl?" She laughed softly when the horse kept talking softly to her and playfully nibbling on her hand and arm with her lips. "I missed you too…three weeks is a long time not to see each other huh?" Nadia scratched behind the pitch-black mare's ear with a smile. She hadn't seen her beloved horse since just before leaving for Cuba.

"She's gorgeous…" Nikolas gasped with a smiled stepping forward to pet her long silky neck that shone brilliantly in the stable light, "You're beautiful aren't you girl…an Arabian mare…gorgeous." He smoothed his hand down her neck. "I'm sure that Shetan would love you." He smiled thinking about his own beloved black Arabian stallion who was named after the horse in his favorite movie, 'The Black Stallion.'

"You're talking to my horse in Russian…" Nadia looked at him with an amused smile. They'd been speaking in English, as it was the language they had spoken in Greece and he'd just now switched to Russian with the horse, following suit to what Nadia had done.

"Well that's the language she knows best, isn't it? That's why you switched and started speaking to her in it…without even thinking." He smiled over at her, still speaking in Russian. "She is a beautiful animal." He switched back to English with a smile.

"Okay okay…" Nadia laughed when the horse kept nibbling with its lips on her coat, "I know what you want." She turned and walked to the end of the row, lifting a pin and sliding open a stall door rummaging around for a moment before closing the door again returning with her hand in her pocket and smile. When she reached the stall door she removed her hand and produced two sugar cubes, which the horse quickly nabbed with its lips making her laugh and Nikolas the grateful sounds she was making. The other horses immediately got upset and started knocking with their front hooves against the stall doors wanting the same.

"Uh-oh," Nikolas smiled, "Now look what you've started." He looked down the long row of stalls in the massive building, "You have a lot of horses…all of them gorgeous." He smiled seeing all their heads and necks poking out.

"There are a lot of people in my family." Nadia shrugged softly with a smile as she walked down to the next stall producing two more cubes, scratched the horse's head and moved on again. "And my mother loves horses."

"You came prepared I see." He noticed her bulging pocket now and the fact she kept producing the sugar cubes.

"Yeah its pretty typical if you give one of them a treat you have to give them all one." She smiled and handed him two cubes, the electricity that shot through both their arms at the first brief contact had them frozen in time for a moment.

Silence once again fell over them as they moved down the line and alternated with Nadia feeding one and then handing the cubes to Nikolas though now she was dropping them into his hand instead of placing them to avoid further such contact.

"Why are you here?" She finally asked breaking the silence when all the horses had their treats and she turned to face him. "I have to say, I am extremely surprised to see you here…especially after what happened in Greece…Does Alissa know that you're here?" She asked trying to keep the tears from forming and the anger and sarcasm out of her voice and was failing.

"No, she doesn't know I'm here." He answered and Nadia's eyes immediately darted away from his swallowing her emotion as a single tear fell, "She doesn't know because I'm not with her any more," He spoke softly and Nadia's eyes flashed back up to his, "I haven't been with her since just after you left…I couldn't keep seeing her after you."

"After me?" She asked in choked voice, "What is that supposed to mean? You're going to have to help me here as I'm a bit confused…confused about why you'd kiss me when you had a girlfriend…one you never told me about." Another tear fell and then another in silent streams breaking Nikolas's heart to see.

_***I Love You***_

"Nadia, I never intended to fall for you…but I did and hard, from that first night at dinner at my parents house…and I tried to fight it because I did have girlfriend but every minute I spent with you…I was falling that much harder and you were all I cared about anymore…all I thought about…all I wanted. I was terrified as I was excited every morning you walked into the stables because it was one more day I was going to fall deeper and one more day I'd have to fight harder against it…but I craved every minute of it…being around you…"

Nadia swallowed hard with more tears rapidly falling in silent streams hearing that he'd felt the same terror and excitement about being together…that he was falling and fighting the same way she was.

"I was scared that if I told you about Alissa, it wouldn't be the same between us anymore…and I wouldn't get to see or spend time with you again…I couldn't bare that thought and I was selfish…I couldn't give that up, couldn't give you up… I had never felt about a girl the way I was feeling for you…"

His blurry eyes held fast to hers and he took a step forward towards her, "You're just this life force that I had to be around…I had so much fun with you…talking with you, laughing with you…I was trying to tell myself it was enough to just be around you…that as long as I didn't cross the line then I didn't have to tell you about Alissa because I was fighting so hard falling completely in love with you,"

He spoke in almost a whispered with voice thick of emotion and his tears finally falling while Nadia inhaled sharply to avoid letting go of a sob and he took another step towards her.

"That last morning when I pulled you off the horse and had you so close and in my arms…could feel your heart pounding against mine," He took a step closer closing the distance even further so they were only two feet apart and as close as he dare, "I couldn't fight it anymore and I couldn't let you go…not physically, not emotionally…so I held on and I kissed you…"

His voice quivered and he inhaled a ragged breath and raining tears, "Kissed you like I'd wanted to since I first held you in my arms standing in the water… pulling you out of the path of the wave…and then you kissed me back…and I lost myself completely into you…trying to show you how I felt and could not say…"

His voice went up in pitch with emotion and dropped off to a whisper at the same time, "And then Alissa came and I didn't know what to do…I knew you were upset and I wanted so badly to try to explain, to apologize but she was there and I didn't want to hurt her either… there was so much I wanted to say you and couldn't… and then you just walked away…and watching you go felt like my world was crashing down and I couldn't breathe…"

His in a whisper and he hiccupped in his breath trying to not cry fully, "After you…there was no way I could be with Alissa…after that first night, I knew there was no way I could be with Alissa…you were it for me…I couldn't be with any body else when you're the only one I wanted…still want,"

He added in a whisper and heard Nadia swallow her sob, "I wanted to get on a plane so many times to come find you and tell you all this and apologize but I knew that I'd hurt you and I thought you deserved better then me and I was still scared…because I didn't know what to do with the way I felt about you…after three days you suddenly became the center of my whole universe and without you…I just felt empty…"

Nikolas reached up and wiped at one cheek of streaming tears feeling the salty burn, "Feeling that intensely about someone was new to me and I was scared…I just didn't know what to do…and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Alissa in the first place, I'm sorry I let you walk away without telling you how I felt, and I'm sorry for hurting you…I never want to hurt you…ever…all I want to do is hold you." He finished in a whisper wanting so badly to reach out and do so now, to brush her falling tears away and take away the pain he saw in her eyes.

"Why now?" Nadia cried through a cracked voice and raging tears falling from her eyes like a stormy river.

"When I first heard that something had happened to you I was just getting out of class…the thought sent a bolt of terror so hard through me it felt as though my heart had stopped…and when I saw the news and that it was true…saw the first pictures of you after you'd been hurt it felt like my heart had been ripped out completely and it was a pain like I've never felt…" He was crying fully unable to hold back anymore and fisted his hand over his chest, "All I wanted to do was hold you…hold you and never let you go again…I was terrified that I was going to lose you forever, Nadia… or that you'd never wake up and I would never have told you that I loved you…"

He pleaded with her and she sobbed with face scrunching painfully, "I wanted to come to Cuba and tell you but I knew you were already going through so much…and then you came home, here…and the first chance I had I took…I knew my parents were coming to meet with your mother and that I probably wouldn't get to see you but I had to be as close to you as I possibly could…I didn't want to hurt you further but I couldn't stay away…and the moment I saw your mother this morning and sitting in her office with pictures of you everywhere I couldn't stand it, I had to see you…so I asked her if I could."

"My mother knows you're here?" Nadia sobbed in stun and upset with so many emotions rolling through her and not know what to do.

"Yes, she does. She didn't know I was coming with my parents and when I asked her to see you, told her I needed to apologize to you for what happened in Athens and to talk to you to tell you how I feel about you…" He took a step forward and Nadia stepped back with hand going to her forehead sobbing and starting to pace, "She didn't want let me because she doesn't want you hurt anymore and I swore to her that I never ever want to hurt you again and I got on the plane and flew up here as fast as I could…I couldn't get here fast enough to talk to you, to see you and tell you and show you how I feel…"

Nadia didn't say anything only sobbed harder and paced faster and he called out her name softly, "Nadia…" He whispered through tears seeing her so upset and struggling with herself and stepped forward towards her again, "Nadia…" He said her name again almost breathless and reached out with shaking hand, stopping her pacing with his hand to her upper arm and stepping forward fully closing the distance between them and pressed his chest to hers.' His hand gently cupped the side of her neck and then slid up under her jaw tilting her face up to look at him and ever so gently did the same with his other hand, barely touching her bruised and broken skin but wiping the fiery tears the best he could without hurting her.

She sobbed at the contact feeling her heart pounding in her chest and the gentleness of his touch, the way his eyes were so intently searing into hers' allowing her to see that he'd meant all that he'd said and it terrified her…terrified her because she was afraid that he'd see the same in her eyes…see how she felt about him with the same intensity but was scared to show it.

"Nadia, I fell for you…and I don't ever want to stop falling for you." He cried softly holding her head in the gentlest of touches seeing her love for him reflected back in her gaze and also the fear of allowing herself to feel that way. "I swear to you, Nadia, I'm never going to hurt you…as long as I live. I'm going to try to protect you. All I want is to be with you…all I need…is to be with you."

Her breathing was rapid and she sobbed again, absolutely terrified of taking this plunge and trembling not out of fear from him, but of her feelings for him…

When his lips brushed as gentle as a whisper over her bruised cheek kissing her tears away she hiccupped on a sob and then cried more when he did it to the other side, repeatedly kissing her in the barest of touches to kiss away her tears only making more fall and his were falling and mixing in with hers.

His mouth placed a kiss to the spot just above her lips and then another slightly lower to kiss her upper lip and holding it for a while in a lingering contact carefully avoiding the other side where her lip was split and stitched together. When he let go of her upper lip with his did the same to her lower lip. He moved back up to kiss the new fallen tears with the gentleness and her sobs became less and less from his touch.

When Jack walked into the kitchen the last thing he expected to find the girls watching the security monitor with all their backs to him.

"You're spying on her?" He asked in disbelief as a parent who was always lectured on not doing such.

When they all turned around with tears streaming down their faces his heart immediately skipped a beat and brows knit with worry.

"We didn't mean to…" Lena cried, "We just wanted to make sure she was okay, … and just turned it on and left the sound off and then we saw this!" She sobbed again barely able to speak and waved towards the monitor and Jack stepped forward and saw them in the barn; the way they were standing, her face held gently in his hands and her eyes closed as he placed gentle kisses to her battered face, kissing her tears away.

"I _knew_ she was in love with him!" Lena sobbed again suddenly breaking the silence and grabbing Jack's attention with her declaration and then looking back to see it on the screen and he felt tears sting his eyes seeing the tenderness in each kiss that took some of the pain away and remembered doing the same with her mother.

His thoughts went back to what Irina had said, in that Nikolas just may be what Nadia needed to heal in ways they couldn't help her with…and she was right; he was seeing it now before him. Nadia's reaction to what the Greek Prince was doing spoke volumes to Jack, he was helping her already.

"Okay," He croaked out in a heavy voice blinking hard trying to get rid of his tears in his eyes and shut it off. "Let's give them some privacy."

Lena couldn't believe her ears that her father had just said that and turned to look at him through her blurry eyes as he stood beside her; she saw the glistening tears in his eyes he was trying to hold back and in them, she saw that he too, understood the significance in what they saw and what that meant for her sister and she threw her arms around his neck holding on tightly.

"She's going to be okay, Daddy…" She sobbed, "He's going to help her to be okay." And with that, a single fat tear escaped Jack's eye holding her back just as tightly and that was all it took for Anya, Eva, Ria, and Mia to all surround them both and form a massive hug.

With Nadia's tears ceasing under his gentle kisses, his lips once again found hers', first the upper and then the lower and when he kissed her upper against an instinct in each of them anticipated the others' move and their tongues brushed for the first time since their first kiss making them both moan softly at the surge between them of that connection they'd gotten a taste of in that first kiss only to lose it too suddenly. Now they had nothing but time and were in no hurry.

* * *

"You were right again, Mama." Jack spoke into the phone calling Irina shortly after leaving the kitchen getting a hug from five of his girls and the thought made him smile.

"What do you mean?" Irina asked breathless sitting forward immediately in her chair.

"He's just what she needs." Jack's voice was soft as and full of emotion as it' came through the line.

Irina sighed instantly with tears rushing to her eyes, "What happened?"

"I saw the sparks you were talking about when she first saw him…they went for a walk," Jack rubbed his forehead with his fingers sitting back against the couch, "They were gone a long time and Lena got worried…I walked into the kitchen and all five of the older girls were watching the security monitors, when they turned around to look at me, all of them were crying... "

He heard her gasp with the same reaction he had, "They'd found them in the stables…intending only to make sure Nadia was okay…but what they saw they couldn't tear their eyes away from…I had a hard time too," He sighed with a hint of a smile and tears in his eyes again, "They were standing together, Nadia's face gently in his hands and he was kissing her pain away." He spoke softly and Irina inhaled a sob on the other end, rampant tears running from her eyes over come with emotion, "With light kisses all over her face…kissing away the tears…It was clear from Nadia's reaction to him, he's already helping her."

* * *

Irina had planned on staying in Moscow for the night but after speaking to Jack about Nadia she had to come home. It was only an hour away by plane and she'd just go back to Moscow in the morning. She had to see her daughter.

When she walked in the door, it was late as it had been a last minute decision to come home. No one was expecting her and the lights inside the foyer had been dimmed as most everyone had already ventured off to be. Dmitri was the only one who knew she was coming home and was waiting for in his pajamas and robe with a smile when she walked in the door. She had asked him to keep her early return a secret wanting to surprise Jack.

"Is everyone in bed already?" She asked quietly while he took her coat with a smile.

"Everyone but Prince Nikolas and Nadia," He smiled softly at the thought of them, having seen a slight change in Nadia for the better already when they'd returned from their walk earlier in the evening. "They were watching a movie in the living room the last I saw of them."

"How is she?" Irina asked with a soft voice already walking towards the living room with him beside her.

"She's doing well actually." Dmitri smiled genuinely, "Nadia was smiling a lot more during dinner then I've seen from her in quite some time." He saw the immediate drop in Irina's shoulders and flash of sadness that accompanied her sigh; sorry that she had missed it.

"I think they started watching the movie in the living room because they don't want to separate just yet… but were worried about staying in her room together…I don't think she's afraid of him…just afraid what you and her father would think if they did sleep together in the same bed and room on his first night here." He smiled a soft crooked smile with a slight shrug seeing Irina's smile with a soft nod.

"He's very good to her from what I've seen thus far…seems to genuinely care for her a great deal. I can see it in his eyes when's he looking at her and she doesn't know." He smiled again softly, hoping that this young man would indeed be able to help heal some of his granddaughter's wounds.

"I'll go tell them its okay…" Irina smiled, "I know they won't do anything but sleep anyway…she can't yet." She added softly with a tiny shake of her head in sadness with eyes dropping and he sighed heavily nodding sadly as well.

"Goodnight, Papa." She smiled at him softly, kissing his cheek and hugging him tightly and his heart melted as it did every time.

The older man went off to bed with a smile in his eyes while Irina quietly entered the darkened living room.

The glow of the television and a soft lamp light the only source illuminating the room. They were watching 'Love Actually' one of the best romantic classics and Irina couldn't help but smile as she walked around the end of the sofa and saw Nikolas sitting on the far end leaning against the arm rest with Nadia's head laying on his thigh with her body curled up on her side, her heavy cast draping over her chest in an awkward position but the only one she could manage and asleep.

Nikolas was staring down at her instead of the movie completely unaware Irina was in the dark room and gently brushed the hair over Nadia's ear back repeatedly. Her bruises looked entirely black in the low light and Irina saw the tears in his eyes glistening as he carefully avoided them with his fingers, looking at her daughter with nothing but love and concern.

"Hi…" Irina whispered getting his attention rapidly with head jerking up startled and she smiled walking closer. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's okay, Your Majesty." He whispered back and his fingers paused for only a second against Nadia's head before continuing. "I wasn't aware you were returning to St. Petersburg this evening…Nadia said you were staying in Moscow tonight."

"I was going to…" She smiled walking closer and then crouched down in front of them on her haunches looking at Nadia's face with a smile seeing the peace there. "I had to come home and see her." Her eyes flashed up to his and watched him swallow hard to be so close to the Tsar kneeling before him while her daughter's head was in his lap, asleep. "Things went well then?" She asked in whisper with a smile already knowing but wanting to see and hear his response to the question.

"Yes, Your Majesty." He smiled softly and it grew looking down at Nadia and he blinked hard to hold back the tears, "Thank you again…for allowing me to come up here."

Irina's only response was a smile and soft nod with her eyes returning to Nadia and head titling slightly to look at her again, "It's okay for the two of you to sleep in her room." She spoke quietly and eyes flashed up to see his widen and smiled at him, "I know you know…" She faded quietly and then nodded towards Nadia, "That she can't…"

"Yes, Your Majesty, absolutely the thought never crossed my mind honestly." His eyes were wide and he rambled immediately in a whisper knowing what she was saying. "She's not ready for that, I'm not ready for that…no…no." He looked down at Nadia shaking his head softly with fingers still moving gently and eyes locked onto the caterpillar of stitches across her cheek.

"Good…" Irina reached her hand out and placed it gently over his on Nadia's head with a soft smile, "I trust you with her." Her eyes were glistening and he swallowed hard with the enormity in that statement considering who she was. She noticed suddenly the bracelet on his wrist as he stroked Nadia's hair and laughed softly with a smile, "I see my grand daughter Lara has given you a gift?" She nodded towards the bracelet of beads in blue and white.

"Yes," He smiled looking down at it on his wrist; "She made it especially for me after dinner…in the Greek colors of course." He laughed softly with Irina, "She's so cute…it was very sweet of her."

"Yes, she is cute." Irina smiled with pride thinking about her youngest grand baby who was always all smiles and laughter. "She made one for me last night." She stretched her arm out to reveal her wrist from beneath her black suit jacket and showed off the bracelet of Russian colors, in white, blue and red with a gold bead thrown in for the golden eagles of the Imperial Seal of the Romanovs also on the flag.

Nikolas smiled at her with a bit of surprise at the thought that, the Imperial Tsar of Russia would wear the simple beaded jewelry her grandchild made for her, when most mothers of wealth and privilege would simply thank the child and never wear it because they'd see it as gaudy, preferring their real jewels to ceramic beads of glass. Just another aspect of her that made the woman so amazing, he thought, that she'd proudly wear the simple gift because it was made for her and given to her with love by her grand child.

Irina looked back down at Nadia and leaned in, kissing her forehead and then ever so gently off to the side of her mouth and the stitches, "Nadia…" She whispered getting her daughter's attention when she didn't stir at all.

Nadia's eyes began to flutter open and Irina smiled at her, "Mama?" She asked with voice thick from just waking up, "You're supposed to be in Moscow?"

"I decided to come home tonight." Irina kept speaking softly kneeling in front of her and then smiled when Nadia's eyes widened considerably realizing where her head was resting in front of her mother and whose leg it was and sat up rapidly…too rapidly and winced which both her mother and Nikolas noticed.

Irina reached her hand over and squeezed Nadia's fingers gently, "I'm sorry I woke you, Sweetheart but if you sleep her all night like this on the couch you'll be very stiff and sore in the morning…I just wanted to tell you its okay with me if you want to go upstairs," She smiled and eyes flashing over to him and nodding, "With Nikolas…you'll both be more comfortable in your bed then here all night, I'm sure."

"It's okay?" Nadia asked with incredulous eyes of disbelief that were wide with stun and awe staring at her mother.

"Yes," Irina smiled softly at the look on Nadia's face and the tone in her voice of stun, "It's okay with me, if its okay with you…if you want to sleep in the same room… but not bed…" She swallowed hard speaking in her motherly tone and staring straight at Nadia knowing she might not be ready for that just yet, "Then I can bring one of the sleeping mats in for him with pillows and blankets for the floor." Her eyes flashed to Nikolas and he nodded softly right away in understanding and agreement.

"Okay…" Nadia answered in a whisper, agreeing to the latter as her heart was already pounding with nervousness. She wasn't scared of him…she just didn't know if she was ready to sleep in the same bed with him right now. "Is that okay with you?" Her eyes flashed over to Nikolas, "I'm not scared of you its just…" She faded with tears building not wanting to hurt him.

"Hey, its okay." He smiled at her tucking her hair behind her ear on the other side of her head, "I understand and I'm good with the floor…I've always loved camping and looking up at the stars…I'm sure your ceiling is just as interesting." His smiled widened and he laughed softly seeing her' smile and then laugh softly; doing what he intended to ease the tension away by lightening the mood with silliness.

"Actually, I have a massive skylight in my ceiling…so you'll still be able to see the stars." She smiled with a soft laugh and fingers' playing with his unconsciously. "And if that's not interesting enough, the skylight is surrounded by a gorgeous painted mural of all sorts of things…some horses in there too."

"Well then…I'm all set!" He smiled widely with a soft laugh, "Almost as good as the real thing, only without the marshmallows for roasting."

"Well we could, I do have a fireplace." Nadia smiled and laughed again with him as if they were the only two in the room.

The interaction between them was fascinating to watch and Irina's heart was smiling see the positive effect on Nadia that Jack and Dmitri had spoken about.

"I'll go get the mat and bring it to your room then," Irina smiled gaining both their attention again when she stood.

"Thank you, Mama." Nadia looked up at her speaking softly with smile.

"You're welcome…is there anything else I can get for you?" She held her hand out for Nadia to take hold of, helping her off the couch knowing how sore she was. Her eyes moved to her cast covered arm and then raised a brow and slanted the other, "Where's your sling at?" She asked in a motherly tone and Nadia smiled while Nikolas laughed softly standing beside them remembering his conversation with Nadia about it earlier and her mother's reaction.

"I buried it in the snow, Mama. You won't find it until spring when the snow melts." Nadia teased her with a smile. "I hate that thing! Good riddance!"

"Nadia Ekaterina Alexandra!" Irina's eyes flashed wide with a motherly scolding tone, "You did not!" She smiled shaking her head as Nadia smiled laughing softly.

"No, I didn't but I really wanted to." Nadia smiled, "I just took it off before we started watching the movie. It's in the kitchen so relax, Mama. I'll put it back on in the morning, don't worry." She smiled again and kissed her mothers' cheek.

Irina sighed with a smile shaking her head, "I used to hate wearing them too…but they're a necessary evil."

"I know." Nadia smiled softly, "How many times in your life have you had to wear one?" She asked suddenly curious knowing it was many.

"Well…l can't really tell you," Irina laughed softly shaking her head as she shut the television off and they walked out, "So many times I don't remember them all right now at this moment…never counting before but I bet you Papa Alexei would have an immediate answer."

She smiled thinking about the other 'father' figure in her life who'd always put her back together, "Between the fractures, dislocations, bullet and knife wounds…quite a few times."

Some of the breaks in her life were never cast and never given a sling when she was in Kashmir, her mind suddenly thought about flashing through all the times her arms had been broken or injured. Once while there, it had been broken badly enough after being kicked down the stairs that they had to set it and she was given a strip of cloth, to make her own sling but no cast.

Nikolas's eyes went wide flashing to Nadia's while they walked beside Irina at hearing her list of the things and then remembering the images from the films he had seen and the life she led before she was Tsar. He'd only known her as the latter and it was still difficult at times to think of her as anything but.

Nadia smiled softly at him reading his eyes and knowing what he was thinking and she too, had the same 'wow' moment from time to time thinking about what her mother's life had been like before she was born.

When his bed had been made on the floor he smiled at Irina who'd helped him make it, insisting upon doing so and he couldn't help but smile at the thought the Imperial Tsar of Russia and the _Most Powerful Person in the World_ had just made him a bed on the floor still in her black business suit, and high heels having come straight from the Kremlin, home.

"Is there anything else I can get for you before I go?" Irina asked sweetly to him.

"Ah, actually, Your Majesty," He realized he did need something, "I don't have anything to wear to sleep in." He normally slept in his boxers but that wouldn't be good right now, "I'm fine sleeping in my clothes it's just… then I won't have anything to wear tomorrow…because I didn't bring any luggage with me." He looked at them shyly with tinged cheeks of embarrassment speaking quietly.

Irina smiled at him knowing how excited he was to get to Nadia when he left her office and probably the thought never crossed his mind that if she said yes to giving him a second chance, he'd probably be spending the night at least.

"It's okay, I'll get you something for tonight and tomorrow you can wear something of my Nicholas." She nodded at him softly and then Nadia, "I'll be right back."

When Irina was gone the two left alone looked at each other and smiled softly.

"I like your room." He smiled looking around the massive space, his eyes catching the six gold medals illuminated and sparkling draped over her leotard with its sleeve cut off and arranged beautifully in the giant shelving unit in her wall that had all sorts of wonderful things on display from crystal figurines, to Egyptian artifacts he had no doubt were real, to Fabrege eggs that were famously Russian as well as the nesting dolls also there, and teeny-tiny pink ballet slippers with the toes worn out that must have been her first pair and several other items from all over the world all glowing under the perfect light each of them was displayed beneath.

Nikolas walked over and smiled when he took a closer look seeing the nesting dolls all lined up were actually of her family all in Imperial dress. Her mother, then father, sister Sydney, brother Julian, sister Lena, brother Nicholas, then Nadia and ending with Nana, their beautiful old St. Bernard. "These are great." He turned with a brilliant smile to face her.

"My mother has the most amazing set in her den I'll have to show you tomorrow." Nadia smiled walking slowly up beside him, "It was made especially for her given as a gift on her birthday a couple of years ago… its everyone in my entire family. All twenty-nine of us." She smiled, "Plus Nana making it thirty total."

"Thirty dolls…" He gasped with a smile looking back to the intricately painted objects and imagining thirty of them that nest inside each other. "They're really beautiful…and these are too cute." He pointed at the ballet shoes with a raging smile, "How old were you when you wore those?"

"Two and three." Nadia smiled at him softly drinking in his profile illuminating by the soft light reflection out of the wall display.

She still couldn't believe he was standing beside her, in her room and wondered if this was all a dream. She reached out slowly with her good arm and gently touched his cheek with he backs of her fingers and he turned his face with a smile and her fingers opened to palm his face slightly seeing the question in his eyes,

"Just making sure I'm not dreaming…" She whispered softly with tears building in her eyes and a soft smile as her thumb gently caressed his cheek.

His smile widened and then softened as he turned to face her fully lifting his own hand and placing it gently against her unmarred cheek and leaned in gently, his face centimeters from hers with head tilted and eyes open, pausing for a moment before gently kissing her upper lip letting it linger and tears rolled in fat drops from Nadia's eyes.

"If I'm dreaming…I never want to wake up." Nadia whispered when he pulled back slightly, their faces still centimeters away from each other and he once more began to gently kiss her tears away, still holding her face with the softest of touches.

Irina had returned and paused in the doorway in time to see Nadia reaching up and touching his face lovingly to see if she was dreaming and then his gentle kiss, heard her daughter's whisper and saw the tears that he began to kiss away and fought back the tears in her own eyes watching them and seeing for herself for the first time what her husband was talking about on the phone…Nikolas kissing her daughter's tears away and healing Nadia a little bit more with every one…just as Jack had done for her.

When Nadia's tears had ceased, they rested their foreheads together with him still gently cupping her face and softly brushed noses with her for a moment before kissing her upper lip gently once more and leaning back to look at her with a soft smile.

Irina hadn't wanted to interrupt and saw this as her chance to move and speak without them knowing she had saw them.

"With laundry being done everyday in this place I knew I was bound to find a clean pair of Nicholas's pajama pants in the laundry room. I think they'll work for you." She walked into the room without giving them the slightest indication she'd seen anything and smiled at them handing him the pants.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." Nikolas smiled shyly.

"You're very welcome." She smiled motioning towards the bathroom; "You can change in there if you'd like." Her gaze went back to her daughter, speaking softy in a loving motherly tone, "I'll help you."

She gave her a soft smile having been the one to help Nadia change her clothes everyday and night but one since Cuba with Nadia too sore to do it on her own and not comfortable with anyone else seeing her marred body, even her sisters, only her mother whom she knew understood in a way only she could know as someone whose body had been marked in the same way on more then one occasion.

"Thank you." Nadia nodded at her with a soft teary smile.

Nikolas was confused only for a moment as to why Irina would offer to help Nadia change her clothes and then an instant dawning came upon him that Nadia wasn't able to do it on her own and he swallowed hard. "I'll knock before I come out." He gave her a small smile and walked towards the bathroom at the same time Irina was opening Nadia's armoire to locate her pajamas.

When the door was closed Irina turned with a large t-shirt in hand deciding it was the best from her things she like to sleep in that would cover the most bruising. "I think this will be the best," She walked over with a soft smile and set the shirt on the bed standing in front of Nadia.

With gentle fingers she reached under the hem of Nadia's shirt and slowly slid it up her body pausing to allow Nadia to pull her good arm back and out though she winced at that movement slightly and then Irina pulled it over her head ever so carefully as to not touch her bruised face and then off her arm with the cast. With the shirt discarded she helped Nadia undo her pants and then slid them down her legs so Nadia could step out of them.

The bruises got worse with the passing days as bruising always did before it got better and made Irina want to cry more and more each time she saw it though she always held it back from Nadia and waited until she got to her own room to express how upset she was that this had happened to her daughter.

Nadia turned around so that her mother could release the clasp of her bra and then turned again so she could take it off. Her chest was covered in angry black and green bruises with some very clear finger marks leaving imprints of the rough and malicious hands that had caused the damage.

Irina reached for the t-shirt and bunched it up, threading Nadia's cast covered arm through the sleeve hold first, then over her head stretching out the neck slightly to avoid hurting her face and then held it so Nadia could thread her good arm through and then pulled it down with the bottom of the t-shirt coming almost to her knees and just hiding the bruises that stopped there. It wouldn't cover the bruises on her arm but it was the best they could do.

"All set." Irina smiled at her softly picking up the clothes to put down in the hamper.

"Thank you, Mama." Nadia responded quietly standing nervously at the end of her massive four post bed.

"You never have to thank me for this, Nadia. Never." Irina looked at her intently speaking softly and then smiled before leaning in and kissing her forehead.

"Thank you though," Nadia's eyes began to tear, "For letting him come up here today." Her voice faded with cracked emotion and eyes pooling quickly.

"Another thing you don't have to thank me for." Irina smiled at her softly feeling her own tears as she reached up and gently cupped the non-brutalized side of her daughter's face, "I love you, Sweetheart…and I will always do whatever I can to make you happy. In Greece, he made you very happy. I hoped that if your hearts had the chance to speak you could work things out." She spoke softly and thumbed the single tears that fell from Nadia's eye away with a smile holding her dark eyes intently with her own for a moment in silence, "I love you, Nadia…to the moon and back,"

"More than the stars in the Heaven's and grains of sand on Earth…" Nadia added with a soft teary smile speaking in a whisper.

"Forever and always, My Little Love…forever and always." Irina smiled with glittering eyes holding back her tears.

Nikolas knocked softly on the bathroom door and Irina turned her smile towards the door, "It's okay, you can come out." She smiled at him emerging from the door and looked back over to Nadia whose eyes were holding fast to him and saw her swallow hard at seeing him standing before them quite buff and shirtless in his pajama pants and felt the electricity pass between them in that moment. She smiled at her daughter who was transfixed staring across the room into his eyes before turning around and walking away out the door behind her,

"Goodnight." She called over her shoulder with a smile that they probably wouldn't even hear her or realize she'd left so lost in their own world.

"Mama," Nadia called out suddenly turning around just as Irina got to the door and turned back;

"I love you 'really big' too." Nadia smiled, "This much." She held her arms up in spite of the pain it shot through her to do so, with the good one pointed all the way to her fingertips like a bird's soaring wing and the cast covered arm straight out as well though it curved up towards the ceiling at her elbow in a ninety degree angle. The smile on her mother's face and the tears in her eyes falling from them in that instant from the love between them made the pain worth it.

"I love '_you_,' really big." Irina smiled trying to fight back the sob that threatened to escape, "Goodnight, My Heart." She whispered back to her with one last look and nod before leaving and closing the door behind her.

Nadia instantly put her arms down and Nikolas had to smile at the interaction with a deeper meaning he didn't understand but obviously they did and he was smiling at her when she turned around.

She saw the question in his eyes that she knew he wouldn't ask not wanting to pry and smiled softly before answering.

"When I was little, just after I was kidnapped," Nadia started softly and paused and he nodded softly knowing about that and swallowed hard with sad eyes thinking about how much she'd already been through in her life and making her all the more amazing to him and loving her that much more. "We went to our island in Fiji. My mother and I were walking down the beach going on our exploring expeditions as we always did when I was younger…still do." She smiled thinking about the last was in Greece where she found her present company, "It was quite an emotional time and the older I get, I can only imagine what it must have been like for my parents to have their children kidnapped," She shook her head softly, "She asked me if I knew how much she loved me…I told her I knew because she told me all the time and that she loved me 'really big'…and then I put my arms out and said, 'this much."

Nikolas smiled at the image in his mind seeing her as a little girl doing what she just did before him now with her mother.

"At the Olympics," Nadia began again, "While they were casting my arm before the medal ceremony, my mother was with me in the medical room. We were talking and she said I would never be able to comprehend how much she loved me and I responded with, sure I do…you love me '_really big_' and told her if my arms weren't both useless I would do the bird wings to show '_this much_." Nadia smiled as did Nikolas, "She had no idea I'd remembered that day on the beach and from the way she reacted to me remembering, I wished I had told her long ago. That day on the beach was the first time I think that she knew, that I really had some idea of how much she loved me." She paused and her smile grew, "It's also the first day she showed me how to draw with a stick in the sand and we played my very first game of Tic-Tac-Toe on the beach." Her mind and his flashed to that day they'd played their first game that turned into many while waiting for his clothes to dry.

Nadia's eyes immediately darted down to look at his torso remember how it had made her dizzy looking at him that day on the beach with him only wearing that small blanket.

"We should get to bed." She whispered with a thick voice of emotion snapping out of her daze at staring at him to see him smiling back at her, having obviously seen her staring.

"Yeah, we should." He smiled back softly remembering her similar reaction to him that first day on the beach and the way she quickly looked away, trying to fight her attraction to him then the way he was with her. With eyes holding hers' he took a step forward until they were almost touching with his bare chest visible bouncing with the pounding of his heart.

He reached for her hand and kissed the palm of it still holding her eyes, "You don't have to fight it anymore." He whispered, "I'm yours…to touch," he placed her palm against his heated skin directly over his heart, her hand trembled slightly at the contact and she gasp softly, "To look at…and to taste," He leaned in and kissed her gently with tongues brushing in the lightest of touches tasting one another once again, "Whenever you want." He whispered against her lips pulling back to look into her eyes once again. He released Nadia's wrist and her palm remained on his chest with her eyes darting down to stare at it there, feeling his heart pounding beneath her fingers and she moved her hand slowly over his smooth skin covering his muscular peck and felt him tremble from her touch. Her hand sliding ever so gently over the other one and then over his shoulder and down his arm.

When her hand met his wrist she locked eyes with him and new tears formed as she slowly brought his arm up and placed a gently kiss to his palm and then placed it over her heart very gently. His eyes flushed with tears as they stood with time standing still around them for a minute and then leaned in to kiss her once more and then the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

Irina smiled as she slid into bed with Jack and curled into his side, laying her head on his chest with her body draped over his without waking him and smiled wider when his hand automatically went to her back even in sleep. Her eyes fell shut and she was asleep with a slight smile on her face in minutes as a little more was right with the world tonight.

* * *

Jack awoke first in the early hours of the morning and was surprised at first to feel and see Irina draped over him and he smiled widely reaching his hand up to stroke down her long gorgeous hair. She felt his gentle touch and smiled before opening her eyes and turning her head to look at him; without a word, she dropped her mouth to his and kissed him.

"Good morning." She smiled brushing her nose with his and then kissing him lightly again.

"You are a very pleasant and beautiful surprise." Jack smiled snaking his hand over her back. "I thought you were staying in Moscow last night?"

"I was planning to but after speaking with you about Nadia, I just had to come home." She smiled softly shifting in bed her position to horizontally so her head was on his chest and she was turned to look at him. "I'll head back after breakfast…Everyone was asleep by the time I made it home though Nikolas and Nadia were still in the living room."

She ran her finger in light patterns over his skin with a soft smile, "She had fallen asleep lying on the couch with head on his leg…it was entirely adorable." Her smile widened. "I knew if she stayed on the couch all night though she'd wake up very sore, so I sent them to bed in her room and helped make a bed for him beside hers' on the floor before saying goodnight."

"He's sleeping in her room now? On the floor?" Jack asked not with anger but curiosity to see how his daughter was reacting to being alone with a man. "The Crown Prince of Greece is sleeping on the floor?" He asked a bit astounded by that fact with a soft smile.

"Yes." She nodded with an amused smile, "She wanted him close but has so much she's trying to deal with right now… I offered the solution and they both agreed."

"Hmm," Was all Jack's response and they' laid there quietly together.

Taking a shower on her own and washing her hair was grueling task for Nadia now; she had thought it bad and then annoying with her cast and broken arm before but not she had stiff and sore muscles to deal with as well and through grimaces and tears she finally managed to get all the soap out of her hair.

Nadia stepped out of the shower and grabbed her towel, wiping herself off the best she could manage though many water drops still trickled down her body and then removed the plastic sleeve covering her cast allowing her to shower. With a skill she had perfected last time, she placed the end of the towel under cast covered arm and held it to her body while reaching around behind her, grabbing the end and pulling it back around her. The move now caused instant tears to well in her eyes and she clenched her teeth until it was around her.

She knew she couldn't fold it over and secure with only one hand and clenched it together in front of her ready to walk out and press her call button to tell her mother she was ready for her help again. Irina had come in to help her undress for the shower and in what had become their morning ritual over the last week, would then return when Nadia was finished to help her dress again.

Without thinking Nadia opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out into her room and then gasp freezing immediately when Nikolas looked up at her from where he was sitting on the edge of her bed.

Nikolas was more then a little surprised to see her emerging from the bathroom still dripping wet with a towel wrapped loosely around her body. The bruises on her arm stood out significantly more now revealed in the light of day and uncovered as she gripped the towel to her chest. Just above the towel line he saw for the first time the tops of the bruises on her chest in angry black marks and swallowed hard standing slowly. He knew from the look on her face she was startled to see him, most likely forgetting for a moment he was out in her room and not used to him being there.

In spite of the bruises she still looked beautiful to him and he smiled softly walking over to with her eyes widening frozen in place.

"You forgot I was out here, didn't you?" He asked with a smile and he laughed when Nadia nodded softly;

"You're beautiful." He whispered and cupped her face gently, leaning in and kissed her.

When he pulled back his eyes drifted down to her chest and the fist that was turning white clenching the towel so hard like a vice grip. His finger reached out and with just the tips traced over the marred skin exposed above her towel with the lightest of touches. His eyes locked with hers' and he saw the tears building there and held them as long as he could while dipping his head and kissing the blackened and purple flesh with the same feathery touches and Nadia bit back a sob at his loving gestures.

When the entire area exposed to him was covered with a kiss he lifted his face again and stared into her eyes leaning in and kissed her lips. Their tongues met with a fiery brush once again and this time demanded more with the built of need for one another and the kiss deepened quickly with a searing flare of passion between them both.

As he had that day in the stables Nikolas dropped his hands to her hips and pressed against her lower back with his fingers drawing her closer and Nadia inhaled sharply with a cry and a gasp and pulled back with new tears falling.

"I'm sorry did I hurt your lip? I'm so sorry." He immediately apologized in a panic that he'd caused her pain and Nadia shook her head.

"It's not my lip…" Her voice quivered through tears hating that she was this way and had cried out breaking the kiss because she was craving it so. "It's my back and hips…I'm sorry…" She inhaled a sob apologizing to him and saw the flash in his eyes of deep concern. He silenced her apology with another light kiss and then pulled away slowly sliding his hand down her arm holding her eyes intently.

_***Fix You***_

"Turn around…please." He asked her in a whisper and she knew what he was asking for, he wanted to see and she shook her head with another sob and raging tears not wanting him to see the ugliness that now covered her body. "Please…" He begged again with tears building in his own eyes speaking in a whisper, "I need to see."

"No, you don't. It's ugly and disgusting." Nadia cried shaking her head softly, "You don't want to see, trust me."

"Yes…I do." He nodded softly with blurry eyes, "You don't have to hide anything from me, Nadia… please…let me help you." He whispered and she inhaled a sob seeing the love and tenderness in his gaze and stood still while he walked around her. His fingers reaching up to slid over her shoulders and down her back to the towels edge, "It's okay…" He whispered kissing the back of her shoulder and she sobbed internal releasing her tightly clenched fist slowly with raining tears falling down her face feeling the him slowly rake the towel down her back exposing her inch by inch as her arm dropped with it too, still holding onto the edge.

The tears that had been pooling in his eyes immediately surged forward and he bit back his own sob so she wouldn't hear it when his fingers brought the towel down, his body going to his knees following, slowly revealing her perfect curves towards her hips and saw the dark tattoo of devastation surrounding them and understood why she cried out in pain when he touched her before in their kiss and why she was so sore and needed her mother's help dressing.

It looked as though she were wearing a wide belt of black that started almost in the middle of her body and went all the way down. Easily identifiable hand prints were made out revealing the vicious grabs and where they'd been holding her down.

He kept lowering the towel centimeter by centimeter waiting for the bruising to end and praying it would but it kept going. He stopped it just above the beginning of her rounded cheeks and stare at it a moment, hearing her crying softly with head hung in shame and leaned in, pressing the first gentle kiss to the blackened skin just over the dip in her spine at her lower back.

Nadia sobbed internally again at the feel of his lips on her skin and that he was kissing her ugliness. She could feel his hot tears drip against her flesh as he kissed his way gently over the entire area causing more tears to join the silent rivers leaving her eyes with the occasional sob and gasp with another when she felt him drop the towel further and then tug until she released it and the white fluffiness fell around her feet, exposing her backside to him completely for the first time.

He'd seen her in a bikini but never naked before and now, the first time he was, she was covered in the sickening handprints of others.

Nikolas couldn't stop the gasp and sob that he tried to bite back seeing the bruising went all the way to her knees. The insides of her thighs were marked with horizontal finger marks from where they'd apparently held her legs open and his face contorted trying to hold back from crying at seeing the extent of the devastation they'd caused her perfect form. His fingers were shaking slightly when he reached out and gently touched the inside of her knee and the end of the bruising and slid them up tenderly touching them with the love that mouth could not show.

Nadia inhaled deeply with an elongated cry when his fingers gently came all the way up the inside of her leg tracing the length of bruising and stopping only when her inner leg ended at her center and then did the same to the other. The contact was sending a washing tidal wave of swirling mixed emotions through her as she felt the pain of what happened in her soul and let it go with each of his gentle touches replacing it with love at the same time and when his fingers reached their end once more he dropped them place a kiss to the spot in the middle of her back just above her bum as he kneeled on his knees and with pouring tears down his face gently touched her hips to turn her to face him, wanting to see the front.

"No…" She cried in a whisper hating that he was seeing her like this, completely exposed, raw and damaged the first time he was laying eyes on her naked form.

She couldn't resist the love in his touch and turned with a sob and raging tears. His face contorted again slightly staring at her thighs in front of him and seeing the bruising was even worse on this side with the rest of the two most visible and clear hand prints revealed where he'd only seen the fingers before and realized from the markings and their positions they were the handprints of two separate people…that two men at least had each held one of her legs in a vice like grip to keep them open while they violated her.

His hand reached up and gently cupped her knee with raining silent tears, kissing the middle of the first hand print and then the second before looking up at her watching him and she immediately sobbed and slammed her eyes shut.

Nikolas moved to his feet and slowly rose his body up scanning hers and took note of the clear dark finger prints around the front of her hips where she'd been grabbed roughly from behind and gently brushed his fingers over them before kissing each one of them over her the tips of her pelvic bones while she swallowed another strangled sob. He cried again seeing her blackened chest with the same grabbing handprints revealing the rest of what he had kissed the tops of when she was still wearing her towel.

With the same gentleness he brushed his fingertips over the swell of each breast one at a time following their natural curves around to the underside cupping it gently and placing a soft kiss with tears falling to the top of each swell that elicited the loudest and most strangled sob from Nadia.

He stood for a moment looking at her with head hung in shame with eyes closed and raging tears and stepped forward cupping her face with both hands in the same light touch and tilted her face slowly up to his, her naked chest pressing gently against his for the first time and making her sob more as she felt the fiery bolt jump through her even in this moment and opened her eyes after he kissed each one of her lids, kissing the tears away again.

When their dark eyes locked on each other both swimming with tears he dipped his head and kissed her again, tongues meeting in a much slower dance with both letting go of small sobs. Her free hand slowly reached up to cup his own cheek and hold it before sliding around to cup the back of his neck.

When the kiss ended leaned further into him and wrapped both of her arms around his waist burying her face under his chin into his neck and crying, just wanting to be held and he did. With his own tears streaking down his face into her wet hair he carefully wrapped his strong muscular arms around her shoulders.

Irina sat on the end of her bed with streaming tears of her own looking at her television screen in front of her and seeing the side profile of her naked daughter with towel pooled at her feet being held as she cried after exposing herself completely to him.

She'd begun to worry when she hadn't heard from Nadia yet and didn't want to knock and disturb in case they were in the middle of something similar to what she'd walked in on last night; so she punched the secured code into her remote giving her access to Nadia's room to check on her and sat heavily on the edge of the bed the moment she saw them kissing and took note of the fact that Nadia was naked, standing before him and pressed against him.

The implications of how huge of step this was for her to expose the marred flesh and devastation to him, was enormous. She knew from her own experience it had nothing to do with sexual intentions or desires or her body being naked but her soul.

She cried instantly with a gasp covering her mouth and then bit back a soft sob seeing Nadia wrap her arms around his waist and snuggle into him, chest pressed to chest, heart to heart and they held each other while they both cried.

She understood now why Jack had said the girls and he, had a hard time turning it off and not watching as it was so beautiful to see the healing in progress after so much hurt but she sighed, clicking it off and sat there staring at the blackened screen for quite some time as her mind and heart were swimming with emotions and memories.

* * *

Nikolas helped her get dressed and smiled clasping her bra behind her back realizing she was the first girl he ever dressed and it was usually him unsnapping and taking off the bra instead of putting it on. He kissed the top of her shoulder gently before she turned around to face him.

"I bet you've never dressed girl before have you?" She smiled softly at him with a constant flush of tears in her eyes going through this emotional process but feeling like a weight had been lifted from her in a way and even closer to him.

"You're the first." He smiled in turn with a soft laugh that their brains were having the same thoughts at the same time. "Actually, I take that back…I've had to dress my little niece before and trying to get tights on three year old is quite a challenge. I had them on backwards at first." He smiled and she laughed as he kneeled down and let her step into her black pants and then slowly pulled them up her body.

When they were all the way up they were pressed together again with chests brushing a moment and he smiled down at her, kissing the spot right between her eyes before taking a step back to fasten them for her. With that accomplished he picked up the red sweater and unfolded it gently, smiling with a soft laugh to see one sleeve gone and it had been perfectly mended to keep it from unraveling.

"Yeah, I know…I'm going to need all new clothes after this comes off." She smiled that a great majority of her long sleeve shirts and sweaters had been taken in on her second day home and altered by her mother's head seamstress who made the fabulous gowns for the balls all the time and the woman was more then happy to help with this too.

"So how do I do this?" He asked with a smile having come to the tricky part of dressing her and not knowing what to do.

"Thread my cast first," Nadia explained with as soft smile holding her arm out a little and he pulled the extremely soft red cashmere sweater up her cast and then waited, "Now over my head," She smiled watching him gulp and brows narrow not wanting to hurt her and carefully slid it down over her head without letting it touch her injured side of her face, "And then hold it out a little so I can slip my arm up and in."

She did just that and then smiled when he pulled it down around her waist looking quite happy with himself.

"Thank you." She smiled and leaned forward, initiating a kiss for the first time and his heart flipped and rolled in his chest.

"You're more then welcome." He whispered smiling against her lips, "Now what do we do?"

"My hair." She smiled and then laughed softly seeing his eyes widen looking at her hair, "It will be okay…very simple. Don't worry. I'll just have you comb through it and then Mama can do the rest."

When he was standing behind her with a pick in hand looking at her wet hair in tangles he gulped waiting for instruction. "It's just like when you groom your horse," Nadia smiled using a reference he would know, "You start at the bottom and work out the tangles as you go along."

"Oh," He sounded surprised and his tone lighter like he felt more confident in his task and set about doing it.

"That wasn't so hard." He smiled when he was finished and she turned around.

"Thank you." She smiled, "I'll go find you some clothes to wear and leave them on the bed while you're in the shower. When you're finished just come down stairs to the kitchen." She went quiet a moment looking away and then back to him thinking about why he didn't have clothes, "When do you have to go back to Greece?" She damned the tears already filling her eyes at the thought of being so far away from him again when she just got him.

"Tomorrow." He answered quietly, "But I'll be back next week." He smiled at her seeing the surprise. "I need to take care of some things and make arrangements to transfer to St. Petersburg University for the next term that starts in January…and get a place live in town."

"You're going to move here?" She asked with wide-eyes and breathless that he'd uproot his whole life for her.

"Yes," Nikolas smiled stepping towards her and cupping her face, "I can't stay in Greece with you here. I'm going to be wherever you are, if that's okay with you? To move here?"

"Yes, of course its okay with me its just…are you sure you want to leave Greece? Your school? Your family and friends…for me?" Her dark eyes implored with pooling tears.

"Without hesitance, yes." He smiled at her, "I thought about it a long time ago. When we were talking riding along the beach that first morning in fact. I can't be away from you again…I've done that and decided I really don't like that very much." He laughed softly kissing her lips gently. "And it's really hard to do that when I'm in Greece and you're here."

* * *

"Mama," Nadia spoke softly standing in the doorway of her mother's bedroom a few minutes later.

Irina was sitting on the end of bed still, having not moved from her spot though now she was staring out the window at the snow starting to lightly fall in giant flakes outside.

When she heard Nadia's voice she quickly wiped at her tears on her cheeks before turning to smile at her.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" Irina asked taking note of the fact Nadia was dressed and knew Nikolas must have helped her, yet another step forward.

"What's wrong?" Nadia asked with narrowed brows instantly concerned having seen her mother wiping her eyes before she turned and the red blurriness to them now. She walked forward with eyes searching.

"Nothing is wrong, Sweetheart." Irina sighed with a smile fingering her hair behind her ear. Looking at Nadia now, she was not the same girl she had been when the year begun. This one single year and it's experiences had aged and matured Nadia considerably far beyond her years. The look in her eyes now, of an old soul, in a young body.

"Then why were you crying?" Nadia countered standing before her.

"Because I love you '_really big_." Irina smiled at her with a soft laugh looking deeply into her eyes. "More so everyday." She wrapped her arm around her shoulders carefully and held her with Nadia doing the same.

"And I love you too, Mama." Nadia had a feeling she knew why her mother was crying over her, "And I'm going to be okay…just like you." She spoke in a quiet voice feeling her tears fall.


	60. Chapter 60

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Banana Pancakes**_** by Jack Johnson**_**, Day-O (Banana Boat Song) **_**by Harry Belafonte**_**, There She Goes **_**by The Cranberries**_**, **__**Give Me Everything**_****** by Pitbull**_****__**, **_A Sniper's War** by James Horner**_**, Time **_**by Hans Zimmer from Inception Soundtrack,**_** The End **_**by**** Hans Zimmer from The Dark Knight Rises Soundtrack, _All Waters_ by Perfume Genius.**_**  
**_

* * *

SIXTY

o

Nikolas had returned to Greece with his parents to make arrangements for the move and transfer and was back in St. Petersburg the next week as promised. For his own security reasons he was now the proud owner of a gorgeous new home that was more of a mansion in the suburbs of St. Petersburg.

The Crown Prince of Greece was now living in a Imperial Russian style home and Nicholas and Jaxx thought it funny when they put two white marble statues of the Greek Gods on either side of his entrance to give him some of his own ethnic flare. The boys were happy to have him around as they enjoyed playing together as children and had gotten along well all throughout the years.

Even with how excited Nikolas was to be close to her in St. Petersburg, Nadia knew there was one thing he was going to, and already was desperately missing in Greece.

"Come on," Nadia smiled pulling Nikolas' hand in through the door, "I have to show you something." Her smile was radiant and it no longer hurt to do so. Her stitches had been removed and the bruises faded considerably with another week of healing past. Alexei had given her a special cream to apply to the new scars on four times a day so when completely healed, they would be much less noticeable, which she was worried about having them on her face.

"Now, just stay here a minute." She smiled at him making him stand in one place with a big grin on his face wondering what she was up to and deliriously happy that he had the next two and half months off from school to spend all their days together making up for lost time together.

"What are you up to, Grand Duchess?" He asked teasing when she started walking away and stopped in front of Sheera's stall door. She unlatched the door and went inside, clicking the leather lead strap onto the gorgeous black horse's halter.

When Nadia walked out of the stall and the horse followed Nikolas tilted his head and eyes widened considerably when the horses started whinnying like crazy to see him and started pawing at the ground.

"Shetan!" Nikolas gasped to see his black stallion being led towards him. At first sight he had thought she was leading Sheera and with the reaction of the horse he knew it was his own. "How did you…" His eyes were wide and smiling to see his beloved animal.

"I asked Mama if we could fly him in for you as a surprise." Nadia smiled seeing how much he was overjoyed to see the beautiful stallion, who'd won Olympic Silver with him. "I knew you missed him already after only a week…and you've already left so much behind for me," She smiled shyly petting the horse with him, "I didn't want you to have to give him up too." Nadia swallowed hard, "So I called your mother and father and asked. They put him on plane last night and Mama, Daddy and I went and picked him up a few hours later at the airport. I don't know why we didn't think of it before…we have plenty of stable room and you can ride all winter long in the heated arena, jumping your hearts content out." She laughed softly. "And you were right." Her eyes flashed to his, "He loved Sheera…_very_ much…so much so we had to move her to the other wing of stalls in the stable because he was going crazy trying to get to her." They both laughed.

"What can I say? Greek men can't resist the appeal of gorgeous Russian women." He smiled and leaned over, kissing her fully, enjoying being able to do so now that her stitches had been removed from her lip and it no longer hurt her. "Thank you…this is the second best surprise I've ever had in my life." He smiled and kissed her lightly again.

"What is the first?" Nadia asked with a slanted eyebrow and dangerous smile.

"Walking out the door at my parents house and seeing you sitting at the table on their veranda." His smile widened when hers' did. "That was the best surprise of my life."

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Antony's Apartment_

Lena's eyes slowly fluttered opened and she smiled when she saw Antony propped up on his elbow looking down at her, watching her sleep.

"Good morning." He smiled dipping his head and kissing her lips.

"Good morning." She smiled in turn and laughed when his mouth continued to kiss down her jaw and then neck. "What time is it?" She laughed again with his tickling kisses, unable to see the clock from where she lay.

"A little after ten." Antony smiled sitting up and brushing the wild hair from her face. "You were tired."

"You wore me out." Lena countered with a smiling laugh stretching her arms out sleepily.

"You were the one setting the pace and initiating the repeats." He laughed thinking about last night.

**_*Banana Pancakes*_**

"I have to go." Lena smiled softly at him, "Mama, Sydney, and I are taking Nadia shopping after her doctors appointment and that's at noon." Her smile faded softly thinking about her sister and this being the first time she was going out in public after returning to Russia from Cuba. The images of that night instantly assaulting her brain and then just as quickly she pushed them away.

"Yes…I remember, _Girls Day Out_." Antony kissed her softly, knowing how much she was struggling with what happened to her sister in Cuba and her guilt over it. He understood as he was feeling it, too. "We're going to teach the Greek a thing or two about how to play hockey." He laughed softly, "But before you go, I'm going to feed you a big breakfast with all your favorites. You have time for that."

"You fed me a big dinner last night of all my favorites." Lena laughed shaking her head. "And now you want to feed me a big breakfast. What's going on with you and your cooking up a storm, Chef Antony? This isn't your version of being the evil witch who's fattening me up to eat me in _Hansel and Gretel_ now are you?" She laughed and so did he.

"Well, you could stand to eat some more." Antony nibbled at the skin on her arm, holding it his hands and kissing his way up it with a devilish laugh. "Though you do taste so very sweet." He winked at her kissing more of her flesh.

"I've already gained almost ten pounds since the Olympics and I stopped training so hard!" Lena looked at him with wide eyes, exasperated with a smile.

"Yeah…and all I'm saying is you could still stand to gain some more. As much as I love the chiseled and cut look you wear so well, Wild Child...I love the soft curves, too." He splayed his hand across her naked abdomen touching the soft skin and running his hand up the length of her torso, dipping his head in and kissing the spot between her breasts making them both laugh."Mmm, yes, the curves are very nice." He kissed the top of each breast with a playful smile. "Now…before I get caught up in dessert." He closed his mouth of her little brown peak and swirled his tongue with a smile in his eyes when her breath hitched, "I'm going to go make us a mean breakfast…with lots of calories…as I'm sure we'll burn most of them off shortly after." He laughed softly. "And I already know what you're going to say and yes, you have time for all of the above. We're very efficient." He smiled, "We'll eat dessert in the shower." His mouth kissed her once more over her heart before he slid back away from her and out of bed.

Lena propped herself up on her elbow with a smile watching him pull on the boxers he'd discarded to the floor the night before and then his worn jeans. "You have some very nice 'assets,' Mr. Mazzio." She laughed staring at his butt which he flexed making it jump and her laugh harder.

"As do you, Your Highness." He smiled leaning over and kissing her lips with fingers brushing along her jaw, "I love you."

"I love you." Lena returned with the same smile. "Do you have any bananas?"

Antony burst out laughing at the rapid change in conversation as he headed towards the door, "Yes, I bought a whole bunch yesterday just for you knowing your obsession with the things. You runners and your bananas." He laughed shaking his head, "You're all bananas in my opinion."

"Yes, we are…but you love my bananas." She laughed with a coy smile.

"And here I thought you loved mine." Antony smiled looking down and laughed like the devil when she threw a pillow at him. "Banana pancakes coming your way, Your Highness." He bowed with a smile knowing they were her favorite.

"Extra bananas, please…and chocolate syrup." Lena sat up in bed not bothering to cover herself with a wide smile of excitement hearing her stomach growling.

_***Day-O***_

"Of course! And whip cream." Antony laughed with a smile before disappearing down the hall singing, '_Day-O._'

Lena was laughing at him hearing him singing the song about bananas and jumped out of bed, she looked around the room rapidly and saw what she was looking for, pulled it on quickly and then headed towards the kitchen to help him.

When she reached the space she leaned on the doorframe and couldn't stop laughing watching him dancing around in front of the refrigerator and counter and singing.

"You're too cute sometimes." She smiled walking over and jumping up on the counter to sit beside him and steal a banana.

"That's one less banana going into your pancakes now." He smiled at her and then laughed when she bit down on it and stuffed it into her cheeks looking like a little monkey with a smile. "I can see you don't really care." He shook his head stepping between her bare legs where she was perched on his counter, "And you look so sexy in my jersey…I think you wear it more then I do." He laughed taking note of her choice of clothing, his hockey jersey. "You should just take it home with you." He smiled taking a bite from her banana.

"No…then what would I wear when I'm here?" She smiled at him kissing his lips.

"Nothing." He laughed mischievously with hand creeping up her bare thigh.

"Hey now…back on track, Chef," Lena pushed his hand away with a smile, "You're supposed to be making me breakfast…dessert comes after in the shower." She laughed.

"But I want some honey to go with my pancakes." Antony smirked at her with hand sliding back up her inner thigh towards his target and then laughed when she clamped his hand between her thighs to keep it from climbing higher.

"As much as I would love to grant you that request," Lena brushed his face with her hand and then kissed his lips with a soft smile, "I can't be late for Nadia. I can't let her down again." Her eyes were intent looking into his and he nodded softly.

"I understand." Antony smiled softly kissing her again quickly on the lips feeling the same wash of guilt go through him in that instant over Havana and what happened. If they hadn't have gone off into the bathroom leaving Nadia out of their sight like Jack had asked them to do… Antony let the thought die as no matter how much they wished they could go back in time and change what happened, they couldn't. He'd never regret being with Lena that night but their guilt over taking their eyes off Nadia, letting her down to be together, ate at the both of them and he knew she didn't want to let that happen again with her sister.

"So what are you lovely ladies going to be shopping for?" He smiled going back to work at making their breakfast.

"My birthday presents, I think." Lena smiled softly, taking another bite of her banana. "Since they all got me the same thing last year, they want to make certain they don't this year, I guess." She laughed softly as did Antony remembering the matching gifts from her sister's and mother. "I have no idea what I want though of course, as I'd much rather buy and give gifts then receive them."

"I know you do." Antony smiled kissing her lips again quickly, "You're a giver." He kissed her again never able to get enough, "I think it's good that just the four of you are going out together. She needs this…and so do you." He brushed her wild mane over her ear with a soft smile knowing her heart.

* * *

"Hey, how are you doing?" Sydney asked Lena quietly standing on the far end of the store, having watched her sister watch their younger sister for quite some time. Nadia was looking at clothing with Irina at the other end of the store. So far their day had been a good one, filled with laughter and smiles but Sydney also noticed the familiar look in Lena's eyes when she looked at Nadia when she wasn't aware.

Lena's eyes darted to her older sister's and saw what she was really asking about and the immediate understanding. "How did you deal with it?" She asked softly with eyes darting rapidly back and forth between her mother and sister laughing and smiling together at the far end of the store and then to Sydney. "Seeing what he did to her?"

Sydney sighed deeply, knowing exactly what her sister was asking about: _How she had dealt with watching Cuvee rape and torture their mother before her very eyes and there was nothing Sydney could do to stop it. _

"I talked with Mom about it… _a lot_." Sydney finally answered quietly after a moment of silence going back in time and thinking about it, taking her sister by the hand and leading her over to the sofa in the front of the store to wait for the other two.

"I know you did," Lena nodded softly remembering that part from the film and then sighed, "But did you ever talk to her about what he did to her when she was unconscious? What she doesn't remember?"

"No," Sydney shook her head sadly putting her sister's hair behind her ear, "Not really…Mom knew what he'd done the moment she came to, again…There was just so much that he did to her while we were there…So much she was conscious for and did remember."

"But Nadia doesn't remember anything." Lena looked back towards her other sister, "I can't talk to her about it. I can't tell her I'm sorry for not being able to get to her sooner or stop them…stop him from hurting her so badly." Her eyes filled with tears.

"You can talk to me." Sydney gave her a small teary smile of her own squeezing her fingers, "I know what it's like. What you're feeling…now and then…I couldn't get to Mom either, I couldn't stop him from hurting her… and I know you can't talk to Nadia like I talked with Mom." She wiped the fallen stray tear on Lena's cheek, "But I'm here for you, Lena…and so is Mom. She's been where Nadia's been, seen it and experienced it from her side. She understands and so do I. We're here for you. We'll all help each other get through this." She smiled softly at her blinking back her own tears. "We already are." She laughed softly turning her head towards Nadia who was still smiling with their mother at the other end of the store.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Nadia asked with a smile when Lena took her hand and was leading she and Sydney down the hall later that night.

"I know where we're going." Sydney smiled figuring it out and sharing a glance with Lena.

"Where?" Nadia asked laughing softly.

"We're going to go snuggle with Mama." Lena smiled widely always loving the '_girl time_' they spent laying in their mother's bed snuggled together and laughing about many things and right now it was just what they all needed. "We're all in need of some refueling."

_"Lara!"_ Lena called over the banister railing spotting her niece below with their cousin Tora, "Go get your sisters, Aunt Katya, Grand _Ma' Ma_ and the rest of the girls and come up to Babushka's room, Sweetheart."

"Are we having a snuggle party, Lena?" Lara asked excitedly almost bouncing on her feet sharing a glance with Tora with a smile.

"Yes, we're having a snuggle party." Lena laughed, "We'll be waiting in Babushka's room."

The little blonde girls tore off through the house in search of the others while the three all knocked on their parent's door.

_"Yes, you may enter."_ They heard their mother's sweet voice on the other side and smiled stepping inside with Sydney in the middle and the other two holding her hands.

Irina smiled back at them having just changed her clothes before dinner.

"We're here to refuel." Lena smiled with a laugh and watched as her mother's smile lit her eyes.

"I'd love to." Irina sighed happily with fresh tears forming in her eyes moving towards the bed while the three of them laughed and charged forth as well.

_***There She Goes***_

It wasn't long after they were settled before Bella, Katya, Sophia, Eva, Lara, Mia, Ria, Isolde, Tora, and Anya all came through the door, chattering and laughing and all jumped onto the bed assuming their positions they all knew well now with Irina at the center and everyone else spooned in around her on both sides in the massive bed.

The only two female family members missing were Ash who was out on a date for the night with Julian and Madeliene who was in Rome for the last couple of days with Sergei before they returned tomorrow for Lena's birthday having left their children in the care of the family.

"I can't believe you're going to be eighteen already tomorrow." Sydney smiled at Lena from where her face was nestled over Nadia's who was snuggled against her their mother on one side and Lena on the other with Lara in between them. "It seems like yesterday and forever ago, we were all sitting on this bed feeling your' kicking around inside of Mom and naming you…_our little light_."

Lena smiled in response thinking about it and saw the tears forming in her mother's eyes watching her smile.

"How did you decide what to name Aunty Lena?" Lara asked with a smile to her mother and Babushka Irina having never heard this story before. "You named her right here in Babushka's bed? Where we are right now?" She giggled with wide eyes.

"Mmmhmm," Sydney nodded softly against Nadia smiling at her daughter, "Babushka already had her first name picked out but it was made official that day, right here…she forevermore became _Lena_."

"Because she was Babushka's _light!_" Isolde smiled knowing that much and everyone laughed with her.

"Yes, she was and is." Irina smiled with her tears brushing her finger over Lena's face and then Lara's smiling at her and then Isolde. "I found out I was pregnant with her, right here, too."

Katya immediately started laughing, "Oh yes! I'll never forget the look on your face when Papa Alexei told you, like he'd lost his mind."

"You found out 'here' you were having a baby? Aunty Lena?" Lara's eyes were wide with a smile. "You didn't find out at the doctor's office?"

"No," Irina shook her head softly with a smile, "You're Aunt Lena had been growing inside me quietly for months without me knowing. It wasn't until I was hurt very badly and had surgery to fix my heart that Papa Alexei discovered her quiet little miraculous presence inside me." She smiled over at Lena. "My little light guiding me out of the darkness for the first time." Irina had no doubt in her mind and heart that had she not been pregnant with Lena at the time, she most likely would have died. It had been the first, but not the last time, her daughter's little heart beat and presence speaking with her own that kept her going and coming back to them.

"And Papa Jack didn't know either, right?" Isolde asked with wide eyes of her own.

"No, Papa Jack didn't know then, either." Irina smiled at her beautiful granddaughter who was growing up so quickly too, "He didn't find out about Lena until some time later."

"Just before we came to find Babushka here," Sydney smiled at her niece and then daughter, "I saw her adorable little face in a sonogram photo on the refrigerator at Babushka's house in Brazil. That's how we first found out about Lena." She smiled at Lena shaking her own head softly at that night that so long ago.

"You didn't tell Mom and Papa you were going to have a baby, Babushka?" Lara asked her grandmother with a slanted eyebrow and curious gaze.

"She tried to tell Papa, Sweetheart." Sydney smiled answering for her mother in her defense, "But Papa didn't want to listen to Babushka. He wouldn't let her tell him."

"Why not?" Lara couldn't imagine her Papa not wanting to listen to her Babushka.

"He was very angry with me…and hurt I had gone away again…so he didn't want to listen to me," Irina smiled softly with tears in her eyes again, flashing from Lara to Lena and thinking about how very different it all could have been without her in their lives. "Everything was very different then," She turned her attention back to Lara.

"Is that why Aunty Lena was born in jail?" Lara asked knowing that much.

"Yes," Irina nodded softly with a slight smile, "Eighteen years ago on this night…your Daddy held my hand while I was in labor until Papa could get there." She laughed softly thinking about that time with Michael, Eric and Marshall.

"And he got there just in time." Lara smiled widely, knowing that, too.

"Yes, he did as did your mother." Irina smiled at Lara and then Lena whose arms were wrapped around her niece. "And then, there she was."

"So tiny!" Sydney smiled over at her sister with her own tears welling, "Screaming her little head off…it was amazing, a moment I will never forget." A tear slipped from her eyes into Nadia's hair, holding her youngest sister more tightly and staring at Lena with a smile. "She changed all our lives."

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia - November 15th, 2020- Lena's 18th Birthday_

"Awe…" Everyone awed from various parts around the theatre in the palace when they heard her first cry, watching the day of Lena's birth in the CIA cell eighteen years ago on this day to finish off the evening of their party for her.

"You're so cute. " Antony smiled with an exaggerated awe and Lena punched him playfully in the arm.

"Oh, but you are!" Irina wrapped her arms around her daughter on the sofa and began smothering her with kisses making everyone including Lena laugh. "My little light." She cupped her face when the smothering was over, tears twinkling in her eyes as she looked into her daughter's eyes. "I can't believe my baby is eighteen years old today! I remember that day of your birth like it was yesterday."

"_So do I._" Came a chorus of echoes from those who were present that day making everyone laugh.

"We'd better get going," Anya smiled standing and pulling Nicholas and Nadia off the couch beside her, "Everyone at the club is waiting to sing to you!" She held her hand out to her aunt. "We'd better hurry up if we're going to make it there before midnight and the end of your birthday!" The club had been closed as an exclusive party and was the first time Nadia would be going 'out' with everyone again.

"It's starting to snow again, pretty heavily…are you guys coming back here tonight or are you staying in town with Nikolas?" Irina asked standing and walking with them, as did everyone else to the door. On more then one occasion already this Russian winter, they had to stay in town with Nikolas at his beautiful home as it was too dangerous to come back to the palace.

"We're planning on coming back here but if it gets too bad we'll stay in town I guess." Lena smiled slipping into her coat and kissing her mother before wrapping her arms around her tightly, "I love you to the moon and back," She whispered into Irina's ear with a smile.

"More than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand of Earth, forever and always." Irina added with her own raging smile through her tears still emotional after watching Lena's birth and realizing how much time had passed and gone far too quickly for her liking. Her baby had grown up to be a gorgeous woman in the blink of an eye. "I'll see you in the morning. Have fun and Happy Birthday." She kissed her again and then proceeded to hug and kiss her other children and grandchildren leaving for the night as well as Antony and Isabella.

_***Give Me Everything***_

"So were going to follow the two of you." Nadia smiled walking out into the driveway and yelling to Lena and Antony getting into Antony's car while she jumped in with Nicholas, Isabella, Anya and Mia and Jaxx; Eva, Ria, and Mitch got into Mitch's car behind them. The Security Detail SUVs as always followed in the rear and they would all meet Nikolas at the club.

"Okay, but Antony needs to grab something from his apartment once we get to town. We'll have to meet you guys at the club." Lena shouted back and then waved to everyone standing and waving at them from the doorway.

"Okay! But don't take too long, Love Birds!" Nadia teased her back sliding into the front passenger seat of her brother's SUV with a deep naughty giggle. "I can only imagine what he forgot." She smiled at the other occupants in the car while they pulled out of the drive and Nicholas cranked the stereo of his car with dance music, starting to sing along to the words.

Nadia was quite nervous internally about going out again at a club with loud music and dancing with flashbacks to Cuba already assaulting her but she knew she'd be okay with Nikolas once she got there.

"Her other birthday present, probably." Nicholas smiled with his own mischievous grin, "He bought her necklace last night when we were out shopping; said Lena kept stopping to look at it through the window when they were downtown."

"The blue sapphire one?" Anya squeaked with a smile and Nicholas and Isabella both nodded with the same smile," She loves that necklace! But would never buy it for herself." She knew her aunt wasn't the type to just buy things, especially jewelry she wanted, simply because she 'wanted' it. Growing up the way they had, especially Lena as the future ruler, and learning the sometimes drastic difference between 'needs' and 'wants' had changed all of their opinions when it came to their spending habits.

"I know," Nicholas smiled thinking about his sister's reaction, "That's why he got it for her."

"He'd give her the moon if he was able to." Isabella smiled with a small laugh shaking her head, "My brother is something else…madly in love and more so everyday, I think."

It was a gorgeous blue sapphire outlined with tiny white diamonds on a simple yet elegant length of titanium chain. The delicate nature of the chain belied the strength it possessed and that was part of the reason Lena loved it so. That, and it reminded her of the blue moon twinkle amongst the stars with the diamonds surrounding it.

"So you think the Spyrents will keep tabs on her tonight?" Mia laughed sounding so much like her father and having heard the stories of how Jack and Irina kept tabs on Lena at the club before.

"I don't think so." Nadia smiled turning her head around to stare at her cousin, "They seemed to have calmed down quite a bit with that when she started dating Antony. As long as he's with her, I think they're not too worried about the heathens of gropers that hit on her when we go out." She smiled nervously, "Especially not tonight with Nicholas, Jaxx and Mitch along…and then meeting Nikolas at the club."

"Oh yes, the protective male thing coming into play." Anya sighed as if annoyed sitting back and laughing thinking about her own 'little' brother and his habit of 'protecting' all his sisters and aunts.' Not to mention her uncle and Mitch in the mix and she knew why and when it had gone into high mode: with Parker and what he'd done to Lena and then super mode after what happened to Nadia, only a month and a half ago.

"You didn't seem so annoyed with us when we pulled that creep off of you in Havana." Nicholas flashed his eyes to his niece in the rearview mirror and then to his sister beside him in the front who was looking out the passenger door window and the cast on her arm…wishing he'd done the same for her before it was too late and angry he'd just said anything out loud to remind her of that hell on her first night out again, recalling that memory undoubtedly in his sister's mind just now of what happened to her there.

"Well yes, then it was nice and thank you again for that." Anya smiled softly as an uneasy silence fell briefly over the car with everyone thinking about what had happened in Havana, "But I swear Jaxx just has to look at the guys and they veer away from me. It's going to be hard to get married if you guys keep this up. Not all men are bastards…this you should know being one of them who isn't."

"A worthy guy wouldn't be too intimidated to back down from your younger brother and uncle; he'd stand up for what he wanted but do so in a respectful way." Nicholas shrugged unapologetically.

"Well, not all guys are like you, Prince Charming." Mia laughed from the back seat with Anya. "You guys never gave Antony a hard time. Why is that?" The hadn't given Nikolas a hard time either when he started dating Nadia, but that reason was obvious.

"Antony?" Nicholas sat up with a half laugh, "Well… because he's Antony. He's like our brother. We've known the guy since we were three and four and we know he'd do anything for Lena. He saved her life and yours," He looked over to Nadia, "When he was only five. He didn't just want to get in her pants like the other scumbag, Parker." His anger still welled thinking about the guy, "That's why we didn't give him too hard of a time. But we still gave him a hard time, oh yes we did." He laughed thinking about the teasing that went on for years about Antony's love for Lena that was obvious but never spoken of aloud to her. "In fact, that's probably why it took him forever to ask her out finally."

* * *

"Can you believe she's eighteen today?" Irina marveled shaking her head and she slid into bed with Jack. "I can't. I still remembering lying here, in this bed waking up after Moscow and staring at Alexei with dumbstruck awe when he said '_baby_.' I was just talking about last night with all the girls…It seems like a lifetime ago and only yesterday…it really does." She laid her head on his shoulder curling into his side.

"I know." Jack sighed heavily with his fingers dancing up the soft skin of her arm. "When I was dancing with her tonight, all I kept thinking about was how when she was little, she used to pat my back with her tiny hand as we danced…You remember?"

"I remember." Irina smiled against his chest.

"And then just before the dance ended, she did it again. The same little pat on the back of my shoulder staring at me with those same big beautiful dark eyes like yours," He kissed the top of Irina's head, "And said 'Thank you Dad-dy!' mimicking the way she used to say my name in her little voice. I could have cried."

"I know how you feel. Only I did cry," Irina laughed, "Sitting there watching the film while she was absentmindedly playing with my locket as she's always done, leaning her head against my shoulder." She sighed and felt new tears pricking with a smile.

"She's a great kid." Jack spoke softly with a smile, turning his face against the top of Irina's head and kissing her forehead.

"She's not a kid anymore, Sweetheart." Irina laughed softly, wiping at the tear before it fell to his chest.

"Well, maybe so," Jack sighed, "But she'll always be my Peanut." He smiled and Irina laughed as his favorite memories of Lena flashed through his mind in that instant, "Remember when she realized we used the worms to catch fish, and then let all the worms go when we went camping because she didn't want the fish to eat them?"

"Yeah," Irina smiled and laughed with him, her tears ceasing to fall, "And the birds ate them instead where she dumped them on the ground…and she cried and cried."

"And we had to go out and buy 'new' worms, so that we could let those go, away from the birds." Jack finished and both were laughing. "I can still see all of us out there that night with flashlights letting the worms go, one by one. There were hundreds of them."

"She never has liked fishing." Irina smiled at her daughter who loved all things in nature. "Even when we switched to fake bait, then she felt badly for the fish."

"Happy Birthday Mama." Jack smiled whispering against her hairline when the darkness and quiet settled around them.

"Happy Birthday Dad-dy!" Irina turned with her own smile and kissed his lips.

* * *

_***A Sniper's War***_

_The water was freezing as it swirled around her body, clinging to the steering wheel and taking her last gasp of breath before she was completely submerged…_

Irina bolted upright in bed gulping madly for air awakening from the nightmarish flashback. They were a rarity these days and only hit on occasion but tonight she felt the chill run through her body as it did that night when she was surrounding by the freezing water.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked having bolted upright with her, his hand rubbing down her back and pushing her long hair over her shoulder. His heart pounding furiously inside his body having felt her fly off his chest, "What was it?" He asked with deepening concern seeing her shivering and then feeling her gooseflesh-covered skin.

"My extraction. When I went into the river." Irina whispered into the darkness and Jack pulled her back against him, wrapping his arms around her and sliding his hands up and down her arms to ward off the cold he knew she felt and remembered.

"Forty-one years ago tonight." Jack remembered speaking with the same soft voice and holding her a bit tighter remembering that horrid night of searching the river banks and finding nothing.

It made sense Irina was dreaming about this tonight. His eyes flashed over to the clock reading 3:00 A.M. and pulled the blankets back up over both of them, snuggling down and adjusting his little security blanket so she was lying over his chest, her ear over his heart. His hands ran over her head and down her hair as both their hearts slowed.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jack asked feeling her body tremble again above him realizing how frightened she must have been.

Irina nodded though the feeling of icy water washing over her from the inside out remained.

When another five minutes had gone by and Jack felt her still trembling in the silence with skin turning to ice his heart began to speed up again, worried about her health.

"Irina, what's wrong?"

"Something's not right." Irina answered him where she lay staring at the door from atop his chest feeling her heart pounding and a sick empty feeling consuming from the inside out.

_"Mama!"_ Nadia's ear piercing scream broke the silence and bolted them both out of bed along with everyone else in the palace as it echoed off the marble.

_"Mama!"_ Screamed Nadia again tearing across the marble floor and running up the steps with raging tears and wracking sobs only worsening when she saw her mother and father come tearing out of their room and met her on the steps.

_"Nadia!"_ Irina's heart was about to explode with panic when she noticed her daughter was alone and without the rest of the children, Serge was standing by the doorway with his' own glistening tears and Nikolas beside him with tear stricken pale face as well.

_"They're gone!"_ Nadia sobbed crashing violently into Irina on the second landing and holding on for dear life.

"What do you mean, _they're gone?_ Who's gone, Nadia?" Irina pulled her shaking daughter back grasping her forearms in her hands while everyone else came running to gather around them.

"The road was icy…they were right in front of us," Nadia sobbed unable to get her breath, "They went over the bridge and disappeared beneath the ice!"

"Who?" Irina asked in a gasp barely above a whisper as her blood began to rush through her ears.

"Lena and Antony!" Nadia sobbed crashing into her mother again and Jack had to hold both she and Irina up as his wife swayed backward, her world temporarily going black.

"No!" Sydney screamed and instantly burst into tears.

_***Time***_

"Your Majesty, the others are behind still looking and waiting for help to arrive…" Serge stepped forward and filled in the gaps where Nadia was unable. "We got here as soon as we could. The Grand Dukes, Your Majesty," His eyes blinking hard back the tears, "When we left they were sliding out onto the ice determined to go in after them…We tried to hold them back, talk them out of it, but, Empress…I'm afraid," He choked on his words worried there would be more tragedy and loss in trying to save the others, "We must hurry. I've already ordered the helicopter up and ready…"

"Nicolai, you can't jump in there!" Anya cried from the riverbanks were the distant sounds of the emergency vehicles could be heard coming in the distance. She wrapped her arms around her little sister and shivered in the snow.

"Anya, I have to!" Nicholas screamed back peeling off his Naval issue black pea-coat from the Academy he attended and throwing it back wildly behind him as he slithered across the ice staring at the black hole in the ice covered river he was precariously maneuvering across to where his sister had disappeared, "They're going to die down there!"

"Help is almost here!" Ria cried watching, "Just wait!"

"They might not have time to wait! They've been down there a long time already!" He blinked back his own tears in the freezing winter weather and paused when he felt Jaxx grip his ankle.

_"Stop!"_ Jaxx cried out, "I can hear it cracking!" He called out suddenly looking down and brushing away the new fallen snow covering the ice to see a new black line of a crack beneath their weight.

"It doesn't matter!" Nicholas kept going, "I'm going in anyway!" He forged on and was held by his nephew, Jaxx.

"Yes! As am I but this river has a strong current and we don't want to fall through and be washed down under the ice when we're not ready!" Jaxx fought back through his tears.

"_Here!"_ Max cried out after them throwing a thin yellow rope out to them he found in the back of the SUV, holding onto the other end and shouting, "Tie it around your waists!"

The man knew he couldn't go in after Lena no matter how badly he wanted to, given his dense and solid muscular build he would sink instantly and be of no use in rescuing her and Antony in the river. He'd been forced to make the decision to let the two boys, one of whom was an Olympic swimmer and the other in training to be the same, attempt to rescue the two trapped under the ice as their only option or Lena and Antony would surely die waiting for help to arrive.

Jaxx tied a length around his waist and then threw it up to his uncle watching as he did the same and then both slid forward carefully. Nicholas peered over the edge of the ice into the black hole and lapping water.

"I can see the headlights!" He cried out and then stood, "I'm going in!" Moving rapidly over the cracking ice and plunged in with Jaxx right behind him while the girls and the rest of the Security Detail were screaming in time with the police, fire engines and wrecking truck sirens as they pulled onto the bridge.

"This can't be happening, Jack." Irina gasped in a whisper white as a sheet and refusing to cry in shock as the helicopter landed on the road before the bridge. 'God would not give them such a blessing in Lena on this night, of all nights, eighteen years ago only to take her away in the same way her family had been torn apart before with an icy bridge, a car and a freezing river. Their family had already been through so much tragedy in the last couple of months.

Jack was too in shock to respond and held her hand tightly as they leaped out of the helicopter and the others piled out behind them all of them breaking into tears once more seeing the missing side railing to the bridge and then looking over to the hole in the ice and black water.

"Mom, Jaxx and Nicolai went in!" Anya screamed up at Sydney terrified of losing them as well and everyone's eyes flashed to thin yellow rope on the ice disappearing into the hole with the other end now tied securely around Max and two other security guards on the bank, bracing themselves with the weight and strong current. "We couldn't stop them!"

The wrecking crew immediately set to work lowering a hook over the side of the bridge as everyone else ran down to the banks just as Jaxx broke the surface sputtering.

"The lights went out and we can't see the car anymore!" He cried out treading water and shivering violently in the water.

_"Jaxx, get out of the water!"_ Sydney cried at her son seeing his shaking body in the moonlight and the big spotlight the wrecking truck now cast onto the ice.

Nicholas broke the surface just after, "I found Antony," He sobbed, "He's stuck in the car and he's not moving and I'm trying to get him out but I can't see anything! I can't see Lena!" He hit the water frustrated taking large gulps of air after holding it so long in the freezing water.

A wave of tears and gasps went over everyone with sadness and horror as he plunged back under even as Irina screamed for him through tears. Isabella was sobbing to hear her brother wasn't moving and trapped and Judy wrapped her arms around her instantly not wanting her to be alone in this with her brother in the water and a foreboding feeling.

"Can you get this on the back of the car and we'll lift them out?" The policeman yelled over the ice to Jaxx as the hook from the wrecker came close to him.

"I'll try!" Jaxx swam over to it.

"No!" Sydney screamed terrified of losing them all, "Jaxx, no!"

"Mom, I can do this!" He screamed back with a pleading voice.

"Let him try." Vaughn grabbed Sydney's arm pulling her close with his own tracking-tears streaming down his face, terrified with the feeling in his gut that if his son didn't try, it would be too late.

"Here!" The man from the wrecker threw a floatable flashlight into the water beside Jaxx, which he grabbed dove back under.

He secured the chain on the bumper and swam hard, pulling himself along the car body towards where his uncle was working blindly, trying to free Antony in the strong current. They flashed the light on their friends face illuminating him for the first time.

Both gasped underwater in horror to see Antony's eyes open… but clearly dead. He was wedged with legs trapped by the dash and most likely had drowned in the darkness. Both began to cry, beneath the iced water and shown the flashlight over to the passenger seat to find it empty, Lena gone.

They immediately began to frantically search around the car inside and outside trying to find her, but all the windows had been broken out and her body washed away in the current. Nicholas kept swimming and swimming, trying to find her using the single beam of light from the flashlight with tears mixing into the raging ice water. He fought against Jaxx under the water when his nephew tried to pull him up for air.

When they both came gasping to the surface, Jaxx had his arm around Nicholas's chest as he leaned back against Jaxx, gasping and crying.

_"He's dead…and she's gone! She's gone!_" Nicholas screamed in pain and anguish as the men, all began to pull them in from the water, both boys too frozen to move, slid like frozen fish across the ice, crying and shaking uncontrollably and Isabella let loose an ear piercing scream of anguish with legs giving out and falling to the ground sobbing hysterically with Bella and Judy beside her.

_***The End***_

"No, no, no, no, no, _no!_" Irina cried in her own anguish hearing her son and watching the car rise from the water.

The passenger side where Lena should be was empty and Antony's body could be seen as the car twisted around in the flashing spotlight eliciting another horrendous cry and strangled scream from his sister, Isabella, watching on the banks.

Jack's mind immediately began flashing back to the night on the river bank watching their car twisting in the light being raised from the water and his wife's body missing; now his daughter, the 'light' of their life was gone.

"She's gone, Mama!" Nicholas cried through loud chattering teeth as Irina pulled him into her arms rapidly before both boys were immediately stripped of their clothes and wrapped in heated blankets in the back of the ambulance while the other's cried and Irina headed with intent down the river.

"I won't let her be gone, Jack!" Irina cried tearing her arm from his grasp, stalking the riverbank following the ice and snow covered water that looked like a glistening path of tiny diamonds. "She has to be out here! The ice breaks up at the bend and if she was washed down river, she could get out from under the ice there." Her mind was refusing to accept her daughter was gone even if her heart told her, she was.

"Then lets look," Jack nodded with tears streaming from his eyes, refusing to give up on Lena either, still running on adrenaline and shock, "We'll break into search parties and comb the banks."

"Mom… Dad," Sydney and Vaughn followed with a group, at the their' sides instantly, a few of the other's staying with Nicholas and Jaxx to make sure they were all right.

"We're going to comb the banks where the river bends and the ice breaks up down further," Jack instructed Sydney and the others while Irina pressed on, unwilling to stop as her feet walked rapidly through the fresh snow and then began to run.

The dark clothing she'd changed into made her blend in with the darkness surrounding her and only her pale face, sparkling with tears shown in the moonlight as she ran on towards the bend with her eyes scanning for signs of her daughter.

"All of you come with me to the other side, and all of you follow Irina!" Jack waved in her direction and then towards those going with him, running over the bridge to the other side.

Irina was the first to the bend in the river and gasped in horror, jumping off the dirt embankment into the water when she saw her child, face up in the water bobbing between broken ice sheets.

She swam hard and fast against the current trying to pull her swiftly down river while she desperately tried to reach Lena; not feeling the broken ice sheets slicing into her arms and sides as she moved, concentrating on Lena's face that was slowly disappearing under the ice once more.

_"No!"_ She screamed watching her disappearing and feeling the loss already in her heart.

Irina swam faster; the others, catching up and immediately catching sight of Irina in the water and then to Lena's face disappearing under the next ice sheet. Julian ran faster then he ever had in his life and dove into the water after them, just as Irina went under the ice after her daughter, refusing to let her wash out to sea and be lost forever.

Her hands frantically searching around in the dark water, trying to grasp what her eyes could not see and then she felt it, the strands of her child's hair flow through her fingers and she gripped them, swimming over to her and wrapping her arm around Lena's body. She fought hard against the exhausting current, with fingers clutched tightly into Lena's clothing, not about to let her go and was relieved when she felt someone else beside them, helping her pull to Lena out from under the ice. When they neared the surface she could see it was Julian and they both were gasping for breath when they cleared it.

_"Grab the rope!"_ The rescuers shouted sliding a large, bright orange rope across the ice and out to them where it fell into the water at the ice's edge.

Irina tipped Lena's head back and saw her daughters' eyes were closed while she brushed the wet hair off her face, the cut in her forehead had ceased to bleed despite its gash and her lips so blue, they were almost black. She was lifeless in her arms and Irina swallowed a sob checking for a pulse and knowing already, she would find none.

_"Mama, let me have her!"_ Julian pleaded, tying the rope around his little sister's torso enabling them to pull her up and over the ice.

"She's dead…" Irina gasped in a swallowed sob as her own body shook violently from the cold and the disconnection she felt in her heart, the realization her child was really gone.

_"No!"_ She heard Nadia and Sydney scream from the embankment, having heard their mother's declaration that Lena was dead and then dropped to their knees in the snow, sobbing and screaming in anguish along with the rest of them over the loss of Lena. She was gone. Dead. Her body completely lifeless in Julian's arms.

Jack stood frozen in horror hearing the deafening screams of his family beside him, his breathing had stopped and he couldn't move watching Irina and Julian struggling to get Lena's dead weight onto the ice and not have it crush beneath her.

They were both shaking violently in the water with muscles freezing up. It was useless and the two began swimming with her body back to the edge with the aide of the rope.

Irina couldn't cry, it hurt too much to cry and that would require breath, which she no longer had; stolen from her along with the beat of her heart when Lena's had ceased beating. She collapsed beside Lena on the embankment in the snow, on her side and looking over her daughter's still and lifeless form right next to her...the paleness of her dead skin turning colder by the second with no life inside her any longer to keep it warm as the blood had stopped moving. The rescuers immediately began to tend to all three of them but it was too late. Lena was already dead. Irina's world went black seconds after following her daughter's soul into the darkness.

_"No!"_ Sydney screamed again seeing her mother's head lull to the side with eyes closed and she leaped to her side frantically, with eyes rapidly tearing back and forth between her sister's lifeless form and now her mother's.

_"No! No! Noooooooooooooo!" _Nadia flying to her mother's side just behind Sydney and screaming in pain with hand on her head and sobbing that both her sister and mother were dead before her and not knowing what to do. Nikolas trying to hold her from behind as she wailed in pain and he cried with her in disbelief this was all happening before his eyes.

Jack's mind screaming at him Irina's words, that she '_could not stand to lose another child and would die of heartbreak.'_

The EMT beside him ripped open his daughter's shirt with wide eyes realizing it really was the Tsarevicha getting a good look at her face for the first time and zapped her with the cardiac paddles in his bag as Lena lay on the snow covered embankment. Another EMT doing the same with Irina moments after in horrid display of tandem bouncing bodies while her family screamed and cried behind him.

"Damn it!" They heard both men and teams cursing as they worked their hardest to try and bring them both back to life and were failing but refusing to give up as each minute slowly ticked by in agony and horror. "Come on!" They both demanded again and again before shocking both women in desperation.

"It's been nearly nine minutes." Another EMT bagging Irina called out sadly to the others working madly to save her.

"No..." Jack gasped in horror and disbelief with eyes flashing up and knowing exactly what that meant. "Keep trying!"

"I'm sorry, Your Highness," The man apologized with tears in his eyes still bagging Irina while the other prepared to shock her body again. "But the Tsar has strict standing _Do Not Resuscitate Orders_ if she has been in Cardiac Arrest for anything more than nine minutes. The risk of catastrophic brain damage is too severe after that mark, I'm sorry."

"No!" Jack argued and his girls screamed in agony beside him hearing the EMTs about to quit working on their mother.

"Jack," Katya sobbed shaking her head in anguish and torn, wanting them to keep working and also wanting them to honor her sister's last wishes, "These are her wishes. Irina doesn't want to be in a Vegetative State-"

"She's been dead for more than thirty minutes before after her Execution and they brought her back!" Jack argued feeling his world rapidly spinning out of control looking between his lifeless daughter and wife on the banks of the frozen river. "Keep trying!" He demanded.

"One more time," The Head EMT relented wanting to believe their Tsar could pull off another miracle in her life and nodded for both teams to shock Lena and Irina one more time in their last attempt as the ninth minute passed.

Both bodies surged from the snow covered river bank under such force.

"I've got a heartbeat!" The technician yelled over Lena's body with a raging tear-filled smile behind his wild eyes watching the machine attached to her show the jumps in the once flat green line from where her heart had started again.

"So do we!" The other two working on Irina yelled back when seconds later her heartbeat returned as well.

* * *

"It was the freezing water," The technician began reasoning to them, as they loaded and wrapped Irina and Lena, "That enabled her to come back." He looked down at Lena hoping against all hope, that it had also slowed any brain damage from happening with Lena being that long without oxygen. "And what likely stopped the Tsar's heart." He wiped the sweat from his brow even in the freezing temperatures looking over at his beautiful Tsar.

Jack and everyone else swallowed hard, still in shock watching as Lena was loaded into a Medi-vac helicopter and knowing the real reason Irina's heart had most likely stopped was not because of the water…and also why it had started again when Lena's had.

Jack's eyes tracked the helicopters taking Lena and Irina away until they were gone and only the sound of the blades remained in the air. He felt like he was in a dream looked back in time to see them laying Antony's body out on a stretcher, having extracted him finally from the car, and now zipping the black bag closed.

"Wait, please." He cried walking over to the young man and staring down at his pale face, the gash on his head covered in frozen blood. He'd known Antony since he was only five years old, when he'd saved Lena's life by telling her to run and eventually leading them to Nadia on the train; he had already loved him like another son and they all knew someday soon, would be made legally one by marrying his middle daughter.

Jack's warm lips pressed a kiss to Antony's cold forehead and cried, for another life gone too soon and for his parents who'd lost their child, again, tonight and had yet to learn the devastating news. With trembling fingers, Jack closed the bag and let them take him away before boarding the helicopter again and flying to the hospital where they awaited him.

* * *

_St. Petersburg University Hospital - Intensive Care Unit_

_***All Waters***_

"How are you doing?" Jack sat heavily on the stool between his sons' beds, the two of them being put in the same room for treatment of hypothermia and now under observation. His grandson was one room over.

"I can't believe this is real. It doesn't feel real yet." Nicholas shook his head, turning away and thumbing a fallen tear from his cheek.

"I know." Jack reached up and grabbed his hand lying by his side; it still felt like ice.

"We were all laughing, having a good time." Nicholas shook his head with tears continuing to burn his eyes. "She was so happy, Dad." His heart ached for his sister seeing a flash of her smile as they left the club; the little wave she gave him before getting into the car with Antony to head home.

Jacks' own mind flashed to his daughter's brilliant smile and laugh earlier in the evening when they'd celebrated her birthday. Her smile and Antony's when she playfully punched him in the arm when he teased her about being so 'cute' as a baby. The look on both his daughter and wife's faces when they'd said 'goodbye' to each other before the kids had all left.

He wiped his own fallen tears and swallowed hard; still in shock that this was real as his son said.

"And Mama," Nicholas held back a sob and looking down at the blanket covering him, "Her heart just stopped." He shook his head rapidly back and forth wiping at the blinding tears trying to swallow his sobs and Julian wiped at his own remembering the horrific scene when they'd gotten out of the water; watching their mother lay down and die lying beside their already dead and lifeless sister. Her heart giving out in her own unbearable grief over the loss of another child. "She just died." Nicholas finally leg go of his sob in anguish and disbelief that his mother's statement over the years of never being able to survive the loss of another one of her children coming true. _"She just died!"_ He cried again louder with raging tears shaking his head as the image of his mother's lifeless body was shocked back to life before his eyes flashed through his mind.

Jack wrapped his arms around his son and held him, letting Nicholas cry and sob into his neck in so much grief and agony as the shock began to wear off over the night's events. "She loves you all more than life itself." He whispered softly over his son's shoulder with raining tears of his own staring across the space at Julian, both realizing now more than ever how very true that statement really was in regards to Irina. Her heart literally beat with the love for her children.

"What if she still dies?" Nicholas cried gripping his father more tightly in fear. "What if they both die?" He sobbed even louder with panic, realizing they could still lose both his mother and sister, having already lost Antony.

"They're not going to die!" Jack answered him immediately with a hard and determined voice, holding his son more tightly feeling the same excruciating fear tear through his heart at the mere idea they could still lose either of them or both. _"They're not going to die!"_ He repeated refusing to accept such an outcome.

* * *

_**AN: It is always darkest, before the dawn... **_


	61. Chapter 61

_**AN: Tissue Warning!**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Woman's Work **_**by Kate Bush**_**, A Small Measure of Peace **_**by Hans Zimmer,**_** The First Kiss **_**by George Fenton**_**, That Next Place **_**by Thomas Newman**_**, Moonlight Sonata **_**by Beethoven**_**, North Country **_**by Gustavo Santalolla**_**, Deliver Me **_**by Sarah Brightman,**_** O Holy Night **_**by Josh Groban**_**, Silent Night **_**by Jackie Evancho.**

* * *

SIXTY-ONE

o

"Jack," Irina's eyes refused to open feeling so heavy and her body like it was being stabbed with a thousand knives.

"Irina," Jack was at her side instantly, turning quickly from where he was looking over Lena's body hooked to various machines in the bed beside Irina's, both of them sharing the same ICU Pod. "I'm here, My Love."

"Lena..." Irina started crying again feeling numb and yet a rush of warm flowing through her at the same time fighting off Hypothermia.

"She's alive, Irina! They got a heartbeat." He cried bending over and peppering her freezing face with kisses in relief and realizing she still believed their daughter to be dead.

"Alive?" Irina gasped with painful tears in her eyes trying to open them and look at him in relief, see the truth in his eyes.

"Alive, My Love." Jack cried softly, kissing her still cold lips, even hours later. "I nearly lost you…again." He added quietly looking into her piercing black eyes that were too heavy for her to keep open as she fought sleep with her bodies struggle to recover. With new unshed tears, and so thankful she'd come back to him, Jack kissed her forehead gently speaking in a near whisper as she fell back to sleep, "I love you, Irina…don't ever leave me again. Or _my heart_ will stop." He held back a sob and closed his own eyes, resting his forehead next to hers and crying softly into her hair, still wet from jumping into the river.

* * *

It was several hours later that Marcelo followed by Alexei came into Lena and Irina's ICU Room with heavy hearts and sparkling eyes of hard fought tears coming to speak to Jack, Sydney and Irina who was now awake.

"What is it?" Irina asked swallowing hard from her own bed, face already stained with tears after just speaking with Jack and Sydney about Antony's death and all that had happened, as they faced the two doctors.

"We've gotten her blood tests back," Marcelo spoke softly looking at Lena with tears in his eyes, "Irina, she's pregnant."

"What?" Jack asked in a disbelieving whisper staring down at his still unconscious daughter with pounding heart.

"My god…" Irina gasped with tears flooding her eyes and Sydney's.

"You didn't know about this?" Jack asked in shock wondering if Irina knew as Lena told her everything.

"No, she didn't tell me anything and I know she would have if she knew, Jack." Irina shook her head with rampant tears staring across the space to Lena. "She would have told me."

"She probably doesn't know. Like you and you," Alexei nodded towards both Sydney and Irina, "Who weren't aware you were pregnant until your second trimesters, as well. She's twenty-two weeks along already...just started her six month…and obviously carries very internally as did you. Not surprising for her physical condition and this being her first."

"The Olympics…" Irina gasped with shaking hand to her face at the enormity of this all that her daughter had to conceive just before or during those games and her mind sadly flashed to the moment she'd witnessed between Antony and Lena of smiles and laughter making love after she won her last Gold Medal in the marathon and wondered if this baby was the result. "Oh God…and she fought those boys in Havana." She gasped with hand coming to her mouth worried realizing Lena was pregnant during that tragedy as well.

"I thought she was on the pill?" Jack asked with a voice thick with emotion not knowing exactly how to feel with all that was happening in the span of hours.

"She is." Irina's eyes widened slightly.

"It's not one hundred percent effective and I imagine the Olympics and training threw her body off schedule." Marcelo gave a soft smile.

"The accident!" Irina's mind suddenly snapped too out of her daze of shock realizing where they were and why they were here and Lena's condition. "What about the baby? Is the baby okay?" She asked frantically immediately concerned for her unborn grandchild. "She was dead! Lena was dead! The baby…" She gasped with an ache in her heart knowing that if Lena's heart stopped beating and was clinically dead for so long, the baby wasn't likely to have survived either without the beating heart of it's mother.

"We don't know. We're going to have to do an ultrasound." Marcelo answered softly knowing this could either turn out to be a miracle or another tragedy for Lena. "They're bringing in a machine now."

"She's only eighteen…and Antony's gone." Jack was voicing his thoughts aloud with a new kind of terror in his heart thinking about his daughter raising a baby on her own and trying to lead the country. "How is she going to do this on her own?"

"She won't do it alone. We'll be there for her." Irina looked at him with sad eyes knowing his concerns and wondering how Lena was going to be able to handle finding out Antony was dead and she was carrying his child.

"I can't believe this is happening." Sydney gasped with her own tear filled eyes, in shock and the reality of it all not really sinking in.

Alexei stepped aside while the wide-eyed nurse with tears shining in her eyes brought the machine over towards Lena's bed and set it up.

"Jack," Irina waved him over softly and pulled her blankets back, slowly swinging her legs over the side of the bed wanting to hold her daughter's unconscious hand for this. He didn't argue with her wanting to do the same thing and carefully helped her up, pulling her IV stand and heart monitors along with them as Sydney slid a stool over for her mother to sit on opposite of where Marcelo was sitting.

Irina closed her hand over her daughter's still cold one when Marcelo pulled the blankets back and gown up to reveal her belly that did indeed have a tiny smooth rounded curve below perfectly precision cut abs of the Olympian she was and most likely only noticed when looking for it. They'd all seen Lena in a bikini in the pool just earlier in the week and she absolutely didn't look pregnant at all.

Jack's mind instantly flashed back to Lena's comment earlier in the evening at her birthday party about not eating another piece of cake as she was already '_getting a belly'_ after toning down her Olympic readiness training regime. Her sparkling eyes and smile as she made the comment and patted her belly with a laugh flashed before his eyes and his heart broke knowing Lena really didn't know she was pregnant.

Marcelo squirted the green jelly onto her stomach, that part not having changed much in the last ten years and rolled the wand softly over her abdomen to reveal a spectacularly clear image of the baby's face and profile in four dimensional terms revealing the baby's long toes and the tiniest of details allowing parents of today to actually 'see' their baby before it was born.

Jack, Sydney and Irina all gasped seeing the baby and the little face that looked so very much like Antony with tears burning in their eyes and Marcelo's when he softly began to shake his head, waving the wand around her abdomen changing views.

"Why we can't we hear the heartbeat?" Irina asked with a sense of dread coming over her noticing the baby wasn't moving around at all.

"There isn't one." Marcelo answered sadly with tears slipping from his eyes at them across the bed, "I'm sorry, he didn't make it." His heart was breaking with another loss, "The Hypothermia…the initial accident, Lena's death …and bringing her back…it could have been any one of those reasons…or all of them."

Irina and Sydney both burst into tears staring at the sweet little face that looked like he was just sleeping peacefully inside his mother who had no idea she was even pregnant with him.

"He?" Jack asked with raging tears burning down his face and hand closing over Irina's over Lena's in the face of the second tragedy of the evening.

"It's a boy." Marcelo nodded softly confirming it with the same tear-stained face. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh God!" Sydney gasped covering her mouth to quiet her sob looking at the baby on the screen and then to her sister who had no idea she'd lost Antony and now their son all in one night. "Now what?" She asked on choked tears.

"We'll have to wait until she's conscious and induce labor." Marcelo took screen captures of the baby for Lena, for later…knowing at some point, she would want them as well as Lana and Luscious before turning it off and wiping her stomach clear of the gel.

"Oh God, why?" Irina cried leaning over and pressing her forehead against Lena's temple, wrapping her arm around her head protectively. She started sobbing along with Sydney holding Lena, the same on the other side of the bed now that Marcelo had moved and the two held hands above Lena's head. "Why does she have to suffer this, too?" Irina cried with angry tears that her daughter was now suffering the same fate as she in the same sequence when first she lost the love of her life in Jack and then their baby boy just after and now Lena was dealing with the same. Her daughters were having to grow up incredibly fast, much faster then they should and it was breaking Irina's heart. "Haven't they been through enough the last couple of months?" She was crying in Russian and angry that her daughters seemed to be reliving her worst nightmares.

Two lives had been spared this night and two lost: mother and daughter and father and son.

* * *

"Jack, what's going on?" Katya asked with knit eyebrows when he met them in the Waiting Room having yet to see her husband and be able to ask him. They'd seen the commotion going on and machine wheeled into Lena's room.

His red eyes filled with tears once more as he looked over the sea of faces making up his family and friends. "Lena was…is," He corrected himself thinking about the fact her lost child was still inside her womb yet to be delivered, "Pregnant." He spoke softly and the tears fell, "The baby didn't survive. She's already twenty-two weeks…a boy."

They all gasped in disbelief and most burst into tears that this much tragedy could happen in one evening. A life was snuffed out before they even knew it existed and felt his tiny loss with an extraordinary pain.

"Well, now what?" Nadia cried with blinding tears for her sister who lay unconscious and unaware her happy life had just been shattered into dust. Her mind short-circuiting to the fact that Lena had saved her that night in Havana fighting the men off her and was pregnant while doing it. Repeating the history their mother had done in fighting for Sydney's life while pregnant with Lena. Her sister's baby had survived that…but not this, and it was soul crushing.

"We have to wait until she regains consciousness and then they'll induce labor." Jack answered softly with his own tears falling and pulled her into him for a hug.

"What about Lana and Lucious? Do they know yet?" Katya cried thinking about Antony's parents who had just learned of his demise and wondering if they'd heard the heartbreaking addition of the loss of their grandson as well.

Jack shook his head slowly, "I'm going to go over there now. While Lena is still unconscious…I don't want to leave them but Irina wants them to find out from us before someone else, as its bound to get leaked from the hospital."

"I'll go sit with them." Katya immediately understood his unasked question throwing her arms around him and holding tightly, "I'm so sorry, Jack." She cried knowing how hard this had to be on him having lost an unknown son this way and now grandson and she could only imagine what it was doing to her sister. She had to get in there and see Irina.

"I'll go with you, Daddy." Nadia cried softly, knowing he wouldn't want to go alone because she wouldn't and didn't want him to have to do this without any support. "We both will." She reached for Nikolas hand and wrapped her fingers around his for support not wanting to lose sight of him right now.

Jack nodded at her softly and the three set off to bring more bad news to already devastated parents.

"Why did this have to happen, Daddy?" Nadia cried riding down in the elevator with him, "She's already been through so much in her life…now she's not only lost her best friend and the love of her life but her baby, too? That's just so unfair!" She sobbed and he pulled her into his chest holding her tightly while Nikolas cried silently watching the exchange. "Lena doesn't deserve any of this. She's the best person I've ever met in my life! Why, Daddy? Why? Haven't we been through enough already?"

"I don't, Sweetheart, I don't know." Jack cried kissing her cheek and wrapping her into a hug wanting to know the same thing. "And she doesn't deserve it…and neither did you or your mother…and I can't explain why to you when I don't understand it myself. I'm sorry."

* * *

Jack tried to dry his eyes that felt like they'd been washed in glass shards walking up the snowy sidewalk to the Mazzio house just blocks from the hospital with his hand holding tightly to Nadia's fingers poking out from her cast and who was desperately trying to do the same with her own tears and failing. Lucious's brother answered the door as the family gathered to mourn the loss of Antony and to be there for his parents and sister who were completely devastated by his loss for a second time in their life.

When Jack went into the living room, there were family members and friends sitting everywhere in shocked tears and Lana was sitting on the couch with rivers of silent tears streaming down her cheeks from blood red eyes having sobbed for sometime and now fallen into a deeper shock of denial as it hadn't set in yet that Antony was gone from her life with finality this time.

"How's Lena? Her Majesty and the boys?" She asked with a voice like broken glass and gaze slowly turning to Jack and Nadia as her first question; concerned for them even in her own grief.

"Irina and the boys are all fine…staying over night because of the Hypothermia and they want to monitor Irina's heart…but, they'll be all right in time… and Lena is still unconscious but her brain function is good. They're hopefully with the activity they are seeing on her scans that she has had minimal if any lasting brain damage." Jack spoke quietly, thankful for another miracle and the freezing water temps that may have spared his daughter in at least this aspect. He sat down in a chair adjacent from Lana while Lucious took his seat beside his wife. "I am so sorry for your loss." He hated the words as soon as they left his mouth, remembering a scene much like this the night he'd lost his wife for the first time and having people say they were sorry when there was nothing else to say. "We loved Antony like one of our own." He grasped her hand softly with tears streaming silently down his cheeks, realizing they very easily could be in opposite positions or grieving together if they hadn't been able to bring Lena back.

"We know…thanks to you…we got him back for another thirteen years," Lana tried to smile and her face contorted into a held back sob as the statement was a blessing and tragedy all in one. They'd gotten him back only to loose him all too quickly again. "He loved you, too. All of you…so much…you were his family, too."

"He saved my life…and Lena's," Nadia cried in her own disbelief that he was gone and having it sink in more than his own parents at having seen his dead body being pulled from the car. "I will never forget what he did for us. Never. He'll always be my hero because of that." She cried and threw her arms around Lana holding her tightly.

"He always loved you like a sister, Nadia…always thought of you that way." Lana smiled brushing Nadia's tears while her own raged on remembering how upset he'd been after what happened to her in Havana and crying over it when he'd come home, sobbing as she held him that they weren't watching Nadia that night and he blamed himself for not looking out for her, "And his heart belonged to your sister from the moment she smiled at him. He told me often. He loved you both so much." She sobbed and pulled Nadia back in for another hug.

Isabella walked into the room looking like a ghost with the horror still swept across her face having been at the accident scene and witnessed them pulling her brother's body from the water and was the one to close his eyes. She was obviously in a state of shock and Jack stood, pulling her close and hugging her.

"How are they?" She asked in whisper of a voice while taking a seat on the opposite side of her mother.

"Irina, Julian and both boys are doing better. They should be fine and are being kept overnight and Lena is still unconscious." Jack gave her the same answer as new tears flooded his eyes, "But there is more." His eyes flashed to Antony's parents, "Lena's blood tests came back revealing she was pregnant," He heard them gasp sharply and knew he needed to kill the hope in their heart that a part of their son survived in a baby quickly to try and make it as painless as possible. "The baby didn't survive." He held back his own sob and watched them all begin to cry all over again, "We're certain Lena didn't know…she was twenty-two weeks along already… We saw the baby on the ultrasound…a boy." He added softly and his own face contorted with held back sob seeing the anguish in their faces at what 'might have been' also lost. "I'm sorry."

"And she doesn't know?" Lana asked with an anguished cry with concern for Lena, knowing what it was like to lose a child twice now, and feeling for the girl she considered a daughter. "About Antony or the baby?"

Jack shook his head softly, "She hasn't woken up yet. It will probably be sometime tomorrow…once she's awake they'll induce labor so she can deliver the baby."

"Oh God…" Lana sobbed softly shaking her head. "Why is this happening? How can this be happening? Haven't they been through enough? Haven't we?"

They sat and cried and talked softly for a while before Jack, Nikolas and Nadia stood to leave wanting to get back to hospital.

"Please…call us tomorrow when they start Lena's induction. I want to be there for her…holding her hand as I know Antony would." Lana managed to hold back her sob until the very end and then let it go with another anguished cry hugging Jack and then Nadia one more time before letting them go.

* * *

When Lena awoke the next morning her mother was curled into her side, sleeping in the same bed with arm around her. Her head was pounding and she carefully moved her one free arm up to feel the gauze pad trying to remember what happened.

It all came back to her in a giant rush, the car sliding out of control, the sound of the metal crashing and the slow motion fall before the crunch of going through the ice and the rush of cold water and then nothing…

Her eyes slowly focusing on the white hospital bracelet around her mother's wrist and IV attached to the back of her hand. She didn't have time to ponder what that meant when her mother moved suddenly against her.

"Lena," Irina gasped softly, propping herself up on one arm awake and staring down into her beautiful daughter's eyes with a sad smile and tears already pouring down her face to see her alive and awake. She immediately pulled her into her arms and held her, crying and smoothing her hand over Lena's long hair. "I thought I lost you." She cried, kissing her again and again as Jack and Sydney came into the room having stayed there with Irina all night, checking in on the others hospitalized for observation and returned just now with coffee to find them both awake and hearts breaking at what they were about to reveal to Lena.

"Antony…" Lena spoke his name through a cracked hoarse voice into her mother's hair and immediately felt the change. Her eyes flashing to her sister and father and then her mother's teary ones when she pulled back. They didn't need to tell her, she already knew. "He's dead isn't he?" She asked with hollow eyes, "He's gone…I can feel it." Her fingers slowly reached up and tapped lightly against her chest over her heart staring off into space.

"Yes, Sweetheart. Antony did not make it." Irina tried to hold back her tears and be strong for her daughter knowing how tragically her life was going to change without him and with the other news they had yet to share. "Sweetheart," She cupped Lena's face trying to be strong for her child with what she was about to tell her. "Did you know you were pregnant?" She asked softly and watched a wide blank look take over Lena's gaze staring at her, not sure if she heard her mother right.

"What?" Lena asked with a croaked voice, "Pregnant…no." Her hand automatically swept down to cover her belly and Jack, Sydney and Irina all struggled to hold back their tears and sobs.

"You are pregnant, Sweetheart…but the baby died." Irina struggled not to cry looking down at her and the tears rolled from her eyes, "You already passed your first trimester…just like I did with you completely unaware…you're twenty-two weeks. Sweetheart, do you understand what I'm telling you?" She asked seeing a glazed look in Lena's unblinking eyes. "You're pregnant but the baby died inside you. He didn't survive the accident… You're going to have to deliver him." She spoke softly in almost a whisper.

Lena blinked hard as watery tears filled her eyes wondering if she was in a nightmare and looked up again to see her mother staring down at her with the same tear filled eyes. Her hand pushed back the blankets and lay gently over her abdomen feeling the bump really for the first time realizing so many things that now made sense…too late…and a single tear slip from her eye rolling into her hair. She felt completely numb, empty and dead inside to match that of her baby and her heart.

"Lena," Irina let go of a small sob seeing the ghost look in her daughter's eyes staring at her but not really there. "Did you hear what I said, Sweetheart?"

"Antony's dead and I'm pregnant with our dead baby." Lena answered in crackling whisper as another tear fell from the other eye while Irina and Sydney both sobbed choking on their tears and seeing her reaction, scared with hollowness they saw there especially Jack and Sydney who had seen that same hollowness in Irina's eyes on the films from Kashmir when she'd emerged from solitary completely broken and virtually dead inside.

"Yes, Sweetheart." Irina cried dropping her forehead to Lena's wishing she could take this all away; knowing how soul crushing this was and terrified for her daughter. "I'm so sorry, My Little Love…I'm so, so sorry."

**_*Woman's Work*_**

Lena never said another word after that, only answered direct questions with a shake of her head _no_ or nod _yes_ in very slight movements while they explained what was going to happen as they induced her labor and dilated her cervix preparing for the delivery.

She was completely numb and drowned out everything and everyone as her labor started and the contractions came and then she started crying with more silent tears and didn't seem to notice anyone else was in the room.

She didn't acknowledge Lana or Lucious when they came into the room and spoke to her, only stare into space and sent Irina and Jack into massive panic mode that she was breaking down and had retreated inside herself in shock.

There was something so very unsettling that it couldn't be put into words for Lena, how it felt to know now, that she didn't know when she was pregnant with a life inside her and now, to know she was pregnant, with her dead baby inside her. That emptiness of death was consuming her from the inside out as she carried it inside her.

Jack knew that Irina would never leave Lena's side for the delivery as Lena's hand was wrapped tightly around her mother's, the only sign she acknowledged their presence and wasn't about to leave his wife to go through experience of delivering a baby that had died, alone again. He wasn't able to be there for her when she was in prison and losing their son but he would be here for her now as they helped their daughter doing the same.

He and Irina stood on one side while Lana and Lucious on the other; the mothers holding Lena's hands as it came time to push and it was Alexei who took position with teary eyes to deliver the baby as he had delivered all the Imperial babies since the birth of Nicholas and Nadia.

Even with her first push, she remained silent with no tears keeping it all inside. She still wasn't seeing anyone else with her mind desperately trying to block off and black things out as quickly as they were happening.

The parents were sobbing with seeing Lena's blank eyes of nothingness completely numb to everything even as they encouraged her to keep pushing through it and Jack had no idea how Irina could have ever done this alone in a dark cell after being severely beaten. His heart was breaking for the past and the present as he held Irina's hand and her other held onto Lena's.

It didn't take long before the tiny baby boy slipped into Alexei's gentle hands where he cried over his mask speaking softly to Lena as he cut the baby's cord and gently past him to the nurse who took him away.

"Ok, Child," He instructed Lena softly, "One more push to deliver the placenta and then its all over." One more tortured sob she held in but obvious on her face and did as asked before flopping back against the bed wanting the world to swallow her up. She didn't hear anything anyone else was saying to her staring up at the ceiling with the silent streams of tears falling into her hair finally falling and Irina and Lana both began to wipe them gently with the backs of their fingers speaking softly to her through their own tears as Alexei finished with her.

"Tsarevicha…" The nurse approached with tears staining her own face and speaking softy, having cleaned the baby up and wrapped him in a blanket, "Would you like to see him? He's beautiful…" She held back her own cry staring down at the tiny baby who was born too soon but absolutely perfect.

Lena didn't respond and Irina leaned over to speak softly in her ear, "Sweetheart…do you want to hold the baby?" She asked softly and held back another sob seeing no response from Lena other then another tear rolling from her eye. Irina kissed her temple and whispered '_I love you'_ into her ear before standing and shaking her head 'no' softly, that Lena wasn't ready yet but knowing inside her daughter wanted to. "Go ahead." She nodded with a pained smile to Lana whom she could see eyeing the baby wanting to see her grandson and Lana cried taking the baby and seeing instantly how much he looked like Antony, whom she had not seen since he left their house smiling on his way to the palace for Lena's birthday.

"He weighs one pound and seven ounces and is thirteen inches long." The nurse informed them with a soft teary smile. "He really is beautiful."

"He's like a tiny sleeping angel." Lana gently brushed over his little features and picked up his teeny tiny fingers over the end of her pointer finger and cried.

**_*A Small Measure of Peace*_**

"I'm going to give her a sedative." Alexei spoke softly to Irina motioning towards Lena who was utterly exhausted after surviving the ordeal and then waking up and having to deliver a baby. He was greatly concerned for her health both physically and mentally seeing her responses and knowing she was in shock.

"She's in a deep state of shock and exhausted. I don't want to take any chances with her teetering so close to the edge right now that her mind will snap under the pressure her body physically can't handle right now."

Irina understood this reaction all too well having had it herself after watching them throw her own baby into the incinerator and nodded softy with raging tears, before burying her face against Lena's ear and against her hair, wrapping her arm around her head and rubbing circles on the back of her hand whispering softly in Russian into her ear as she always did when Lena was a baby until Lena was out with the sedation going into her IV.

"I gave her enough to sleep for at least a couple of hours." Alexei nodded softly not wanting to put her out for too long but wanting to give her some time to recover a bit. "We'll move her back to her room in just a few minutes." He ran his old soft hand softly over Lena's forehead and hair before dropping a kiss, "We were granted two miracles…and suffered two tragedies." He shook his head sadly with a conflicted smile looking over to Irina, "You're free to keep the baby with you as long as you wish. I know she'll want to see him when she wakes up. Its good if she does…it will help her healing even if it doesn't seem like it now…I know you know this." His tears fell reaching over to wrap his arms around Irina and holding her tightly knowing she'd been through the same thing. "You got through it…and so will she." He kissed Irina's head. "You're both so strong."

When he left, Irina instantly curled into Jack's chest with face against his neck sobbing softly while he held her and cried softly with her while Lana and Lucious sat in a chair across the room inspecting the baby and grieving his loss and their son, together. He knew Irina wanted to see him, hold him but he saw the internal flash of pain and fear course through her at the prospect and felt her tremble in his arms as she relived her own hell and now added Lena's too it.

"It's not fair, Jack…this wasn't supposed to happen to her. Not to the both of us…her life was supposed to be good and full of happiness and never know this kind of pain." Irina sobbed quietly into his neck, drenching his shirt with her hot tears, "She's had to struggle for survival from conception…and now this, too." She sobbed, "And Nadia…both of them experiencing my worst nightmares!" She couldn't hold back her sobs that her daughters' lives had both been shattered in the span of weeks and they were only just now, starting to heal Nadia's shattered heart and now Lena's was decimated, too.

"Jack, I'm scared for her…I was ten years older than she is now when I lost you and the baby and at least I knew that you were still alive out there somewhere…she's lost her baby, she didn't even know she had, on top of Antony forever...there is no twenty years of separation when they find each other again after and heal the deep wounds." She cried softly worried that the wounds in her daughter would never heal, "I'm scared for her, Jack…"

"Your Majesty," Lana cried, having never been able to address Irina, as anything but, "Would you like to hold him now?" She asked with a strangled sob walking slowly up to them just before the orderlies came to move Lena back to her room.

Irina's heart was pounding rapidly in her chest when she nodded softly once and reached out with shaking arms to take the baby from her. Her face contorted immediately into held back sob as she cradled his perfect little form in her arms, swaddled in blankets and Jack wrapped his arms around her from behind seeing her trembling. His little face looked just like Antony's but his hair was already growing in thick and dark and slightly curly like Lena's. He looked just like he was sleeping and she pulled him higher against her chest and closer to her face, dropping a delicate kiss to his tiny forehead and the tears dripped from her chin into his downy hair.

"We're going to move her now." The young man gave a soft teary-eyed nod knowing and seeing his Imperial Family's loss this evening and his heart breaking with them. He and another man carefully pushed Lena's bed back to her room and Irina and Jack followed with Lana and Lucious behind them. Irina couldn't take her eyes from her grandson with silent rivers running down her cheeks, memorizing his details and seeing flashes of her son.

When they walked past the Waiting Room door into Lena's room at the far end of the hall, Katya gasped with hand to her mouth to see the white bundle in her sisters' arms and knew it was over…and only just beginning.

With Lena settled, Jack pulled Irina by the arm gently back to the loveseat sofa in Lena's room to sit and Lana and Lucious each kissed Lena's sleeping face with pouring tears saying 'goodbye' for now.

"We have to go for now…but we'll be back later." Lana cried kissing Jack's cheek moving on autopilot, "There's so much to do in planning his funeral…" She sobbed with gentle fingertips brushing lightly over the baby's cheek, "What about the baby?" She asked kneeling down in front of Irina to look at him once more realizing he was royalty, but her son was not and the burial would be different. "I'd really like to bury him with Antony…if Lena is okay with that?" Her sparkling eyes looked up into Irina's wanting them to be together.

"I'm sure that's what she'll want, too." Irina answered quietly swallowing hard and looking at her daughter's still form in the bed; knowing her daughter was going to have to be making painful decisions when she awoke as the newly grieving mother.

"Whatever she wants…for Antony and the baby," Lana wiped at her burning eyes, "We'll do. She was his life…he loved her more than anything." She smiled sadly before sobbing again.

"And she him." Irina cried pulling Lana in gently to hold her as they both cried for their children and grandchild.

When they were gone, Jack and Irina inspected their tiny grandson, resting him on Irina's thighs with her legs pulled up at an angle and holding him in her lap, fingering his tiny legs and feet and Jack's tears surged forth upon first seeing them, holding the tiny foot against his thumb and having a real life comparison to the tiny ones on his son's memorial in their cabana in Mexico.

"He has her feet…your feet." Irina smiled softly through her tears holding the other one gently and let go of an anguished sob in disbelief that this was really happening again.

When they were finished looking at him, she rewrapped him carefully and passed him to Jack who held him for the first time marveling at how tiny but perfect he was…and all this time, they didn't know he existed.

Jack had left the room to meet with the others leaving Irina with the baby alone with Lena seeing that his wife needed her own time alone with the baby. Irina had hummed the Russian Lullaby to him softly with falling tears staring out the window at the night sky while swaying gently as if rocking him to sleep. She began reciting '_Goodnight Moon'_ to him as she'd always done with Lena when she was a baby and little, seeing the full bright object in the sky and it was then that Lena awakened.

Lena's head turned softly as the words penetrated her foggy brain and saw the back and slight profile view of her mother standing in front of the window in the dimly lit room. The white bundle in her arms was the one she had been reciting to, and Lena's eyes filled with tears watching them and terrified to see him but wanting to so badly.

"Goodnight moon, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere." Irina was speaking softly and felt the eyes on her back and knew her daughter was awake. She turned her face slowly and gave Lena a tearful smile to see her daughter's glittering eyes. "Hello, Sweetheart." Her voice was a soft whisper. She saw Lena's eyes held fast to the bundle in her arms with the raging tears, "Do you want to see him now?"

Lena turned away reaching up quickly to cover her eyes pinching her temples with her fingers as she held back a strangled sob. Irina's heart felt like it was in a continuous loop of dropping and shattering as she watched her daughter's agony she knew well and slowly walked towards her.

"You can do this, Lena…you can do this." She cried softly taking her free hand, "I know you want to…and he's beautiful, Sweetheart…his mother needs to lay eyes on him at least once." She whispered in an almost choked sob and heard Lena's internal one at being called a '_mother_' and watching as she pulled her legs up in the bed under the sheets to her chest wanting to curl into a ball and die with the ache inside her that wouldn't go away.

"I'm right here, Sweetheart…you can do this." Irina encouraged her softly through blinding tears and waited for Lena to lower her arm trying to rein back her emotions to hand her the baby, placing him against her pulled up knees so Lena could look at him.

Lena's eyes fell upon him and saw only Antony's face looking like a sweet and peaceful angel and her strangled cry became an anguished scream and curled over onto her knees, cocooning the baby and surrounding him with her whole body, the way he was still supposed to be, alive and growing inside her. Her body shook with violent trembles and with cascading tears falling onto his little face and head. Irina couldn't bare to see her child in so much pain and slid into the bed next to her, wrapping her own body as much as she could around them both, holding them protectively in her arms and crying with Lena.

**_*The First Kiss*_**

Lena's cries tapered off as the numbness began to take over again, and pulled back enough to touch her son and wipe her fallen tears from his sweet little face. She lightly fingered everything about him memorizing every detail in a way that reminded Irina of herself with baby Jack and she fought hard against the urge to scream and sob uncontrollably.

As Lena was inspecting him and committing his every detail to memory she thought back to what must have been their baby's conception remembering her mother saying how far along she was. It was on the anniversary of the night that Antony had climbed onto her balcony and told her she was the only one he wanted and finally asked her out. They'd celebrated by dancing in the moonlight in the ruins of the church and made love in their favorite spot. She still couldn't believe she'd been this pregnant and didn't know though her slow weight gain, fatigue, her hyper-extreme orgasms that weren't only from adrenaline but what she now recognized as that genetic '_Derevko women pregnant sex-drive and overly sensitive nerves_' and her recent obsession with bananas in the last few months were now all explained.

The emptiness inside her was all consuming and she felt numb to everything leaning over and kissing his little cold lips.

"Are you going to give him a name?" Irina asked with a choked voice full of emotion, studying her daughter intently for the last half hour as they sat in silence while Lena studied her baby.

"Antony." Lena whispered thinking of only one name; to name him after his father and Irina nodded softly with new tears understanding all too well and having a feeling that is what his name would be. "Antony Nicholas Jaxx." She whispered staring at him, "He loved them both very much…always the three of them together. _His brothers of the heart_, as he'd say."

"It's perfect." Irina cried kissing her head and stroking her hand down her long hair as the flashes of the three boys from when they first met and became fast friends until the last image of them laughing as they left the palace that night flitted through her mind.

Lena gently scooped him up and held him to her chest for the first time leaning back and closing her eyes as the silent tears fell until she fell asleep with one hand protectively over his back.

The image was almost too much for Irina to bear, knowing that it was Lena's tiny baby form lying on her chest with hearts speaking to each other that brought her back to life and refueled her heart but this time, it was her daughter whose heart was broken and the tiny form on her chest answered her heartbeat, only with silence. There was no answer to her heart's call and no call from her baby for hers' to answer. No way to refuel and just left with a hollow emptiness.

Looking at Lena now and the image before her, she knew what was left of her daughter's innocence was gone. She seemed to have aged years in a second and would never be the same…just as the rape had done to Nadia.

Irina lay with them both for a while with her hand threaded with Lena's over his back until her own eyes fell shut and succumbed to exhaustion; that is how Jack, Sydney, Nadia and Katya found them an hour later and didn't have the heart to disturb them, leaving them to be all night with Jack keeping close vigil in the loveseat until the early hours of morning and then heading off in search of some coffee to keep him awake.

* * *

***That Next Place ***

"Lana and Lucious asked if they could be buried together…I thought you'd like that, too. They said they are leaving their final resting place up to you…" Irina cried softly continuing her smoothing strokes over Lena's hair when they awoke, spooned together and wanting to keep Lena talking now that she was and knowing these were the painful questions that needed answers.

Lena looked over her baby as she curled around him on her side not wanting to let him go.

"By the chapel ruins." A tear fell over the bridge of Lena's nose a she answered, and Irina's brows narrowed slightly wondering about the choice and heart skipping a beat when her curiosity about the location was answered in the next heartbeat, "It's where we made love for the first time…and where our baby was conceived…the ruins was our place to be together."

_Their haven: with four walls to protect them and keep others out and an open ceiling with limitless sky to let the moonlight shine upon them as they danced in various ways beneath the stars._

It was the most that Lena had spoken since the accident and would be so for weeks after as she retreated to the deafening silence inside her again and blocked the rest of the world out. She was released after four days; mostly keeping her for observation but the freezing water had prevented any permanent damage. Her emotional and mental state being their biggest concern. The only markings on her physical form were the cut above her eye, closed with a few stitches and the cuts from the ice on various parts of her body.

Antony was buried under full Military Honors just outside the ruins wall facing the East where the sun would rise in spectacular beauty everyday. Baby Antony was lying on his father's chest, with silenced heart pressed to silenced heart, in a gorgeous tiny white gown and the traditional white satin blanket with Romanov Imperial Seal that hadn't been used since Irina laid her mother and grandparents to rest, was draped over the baby's back and covered them both with the soft blanket.

Antony's hand was placed over the baby's back holding his son to him as the two were laid to rest in the frozen ground with Lena standing in silence for an hour after everyone else had left, watching as the falling snow in delicate flakes, slowly covered the fresh dirt from the deep gaping hole that had been made and the white blanket of tiny diamonds, like a bandage over the wound that had been made in the Earth.

Lena held onto the single red rose she had kept from the flower spray draping over the casket and twirled it gently between her thumb and forefinger of her gloved hand walking slowly over to where the pieces of her heart now lay covered by the clean white snow and kneeled down kissing the soft petals of the flower before laying it down gently. The only indication anything special was beneath until spring when a grave marker would be placed.

Irina had stayed behind, too, watching from a distance to give Lena her space but not wanting to leave her out in the cold alone and watched with her own blurry eyes as her gorgeous daughter, dressed in black, a stark contrast to the white snow, lay down the red rose and then stand and walk away.

There was some question from the others as to the final resting place that Lena had chosen and Irina only responded with, '_it was special to them_.'

Lena had trusted her with the safely guarded secret that was now a cherished memory, and Irina honored the sanctity of that reveal by locking it away in her' own garden of secrets and protecting it just as strongly in her heart as she would one of her own.

Lena spoke less than a few words a day for weeks after when asked direct questions and they were usually one-word answers. They tried to keep her with someone at all times but she always managed to slip away to be alone and they'd find her in various places sitting and staring. She never cried, had not yet once since they took the baby from her in the hospital and she'd been home.

Marcelo said she was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress; something Lena was unfortunately familiar with though not for many years and it was depression from the deep loss and survivor's guilt that was eating at her. Only love and time would help heal her wounds within and it tore Irina apart every time she looked into her normally sparkling eyes and saw the haunted hollow of sadness.

Nicholas and Jaxx had gone to help Antony's family clear out his apartment at the Academy and returned with a box of stuff that was Lena's or Antony's his parents wanted her to have. Among the things was the sapphire blue necklace still in its beautifully wrapped box with a loving little note to Lena that read:

_'For My Wild Child, Giving you the gift of the moon and the stars…or at least as close as I could get! All my love to the moon and back, Antony.' _

Lena had put the box of things aside and refused to look at the contents as well as the thousands of sympathy cards and items sent from around the world from people offering their condolences on the loss of Antony and the baby.

There was even a card from Parker who it seemed had grown up in the last two years and at the age of twenty had finally found his compassion and understanding. Writing a letter to both Lena and the entire family apologizing for his wrong doings in the past and offering his sincere condolences to Lena for the loss of Antony and their baby. He had been stunned like the rest of the world in hearing of the events and then deeply saddened with the double tragedy on top of the one they'd already faced and still dealing with less than two months ago in Cuba.

The family remained in Russia for Thanksgiving, celebrating the American holiday for the second time ever in Russia, the first being Ash's car accident and the early birth of Isolde.

Lena was pushing things around on her plate instead of eating and then some how managed to slip away from the watchful eyes with the family chaos in the palace as dinner finished.

Irina had noticed almost instantly clearing the plates and coming upon Lena's still full of food, her eyes scanned the room quickly in the sea of bodies to find her daughter. She was not there and the ever-increasing worry sparked yet a new height. Lena had not only stopped talking and sleeping; she'd stopped eating now as well.

Lena wandered into the Throne Room and her eyes fell upon the full moon outside, lighting the grounds surrounding the palace and she felt tears prickling her eyes and blinked them back turning away from the bright reminder. She saw the box of Antony's things sitting on the table beside the coach and cautiously approached them, fingering some of the items but leaving them in the box.

His Dodger's baseball hat that he'd bought when she took him to his first game the first time he came to stay with them in Los Angeles; his favorite hockey jersey that she often wore while staying over with him...had worn for the last time with him making pancakes just two days before he died; the mini-album of pictures of them throughout the years with its worn leather cover showing its age and how many times it had been looked at; his medals from the Air Force and the Space Camp patches from their years of summer fun with their mutual obsessions with the moon and stars. Her fingers grazed over several more items threatening to undo her and landed on the gift box. She carefully lifted it from the larger box and walked over to the piano and sat down, setting the tiny blue box with ribbon and a note she could see in his scrawl before her on the black top simply staring at it.

"Sydney," Irina burst into tears the moment the den door was closed having pulled her eldest aside the moment she saw Lena missing again. "We have to do something. She's not eating, or sleeping, or talking... She hasn't even cried and I'm terrified of losing her. I can only help her so far...with the loss of the baby… but not with Antony," She cried and Sydney' eyes immediately formed tears hating that her mother and sister now had that terrible bond between them of sharing in the loss of a child, wishing neither ever had to suffer through it.

"I lost your father and I understand how soul crushing that is but I knew at least that he was out in the world somewhere. She doesn't have that tiny bit of comfort." Irina continued on while holding Sydney's hand and running furious circles over the back, "I got your father back. Antony is gone forever. Your father and I talked about it and even though he thought I was dead all those years, dealing with my sudden and tragic loss… he eventually got me back as well and because of that…he's failing to get through to Lena as am I."

"You want me to try because of what I went through in losing Danny." Sydney nodded in understanding with her own tears already falling so heartbroken for her sister knowing what this felt like; to loose the man you thought you were going to spend forever with.

"Would you please try? I've never seen her like this and it scares me." Irina grasped her daughter's hands sniffling.

"Me too." Sydney held back another sob, blinking back the tears hard at seeing her sister so lost, the one who was normally their 'light' in dark times. "I'll try."

"Thank you." Irina threw her arms around Sydney's neck, holding on tightly. "I love you, Sydney Anne."

"I love you too, Mom." Sydney buried her face into her mother's neck and hair, holding on and crying still reeling in her own way from almost losing her and Lena and remembering very clearly how close it was to being four funerals instead of two that day.

* * *

**_*Moonlight Sonata*_**

Sydney paused in the doorway watching and listening as her sister's fingers glided effortlessly over the pearly keys playing from memory and playing from her heart in its sad but beautiful haunting melody.

When Lena stopped suddenly Sydney started walking towards her and noticed the opened box on the lid of the piano and then when she sat down, the new blue sapphire around her sister's neck.

"His way of giving me the moon and stars." Lena suddenly spoke when Sydney pushed her sister's long hair over her shoulder almost startling Sydney to her speak for the first time in days.

"It's beautiful." Sydney fingered the delicate piece that really did resemble the moon and stars. "He loved you very much." She braved pushing forward trying to break through the wall of held back emotions she knew were swallowing her sister and drowning her all over again.

"I loved him, too." Lena answered in almost a whisper, the first silent tear falling down her cheek as she stared straight ahead.

"I know you did." Sydney cried her own silent tears, stroking her sister's hair behind her ear.

"I can't seem to remember any of the good memories…only that night and the sounds of the metal and ice…the look on his face as we went over and his eyes locked to mine." Lena was speaking in barely above a whisper seeing it all flash before her eyes again and again, "I keep trying so hard to remember his smile but I can't… It hurts too much."

Sydney's face contorted into a held back sob and she waited a moment before reigning it back in and taking a deep breath.

"The pain never goes away of losing them…but it does lessen over time…I couldn't remember anything it seemed after I found Danny that way…all I could see was him in that bathtub and the blood everywhere…but as time went on, the good memories started to come back…and that's really all I really remember or think about now. His smile, his laugh and how much he loved me, and life. You just have to give it time, Lena…" She used the back of her fingers and brushed against her sisters' cheek and stream of silent tears, "You'll never '_get over'_ losing him…You'll miss him for the rest of your life." She cried and a small sob escaped, "I know you're hurting right now in a pain I can't even imagine at losing the one you love and a child at the same time…but we'll do this one day at a time, together." She linked her fingers with Lena's looking at her sister now and thinking for the first time in her life how Lena seemed '_older_' then herself, positions traded in this moment of time with her sister going through something she never had and couldn't imagine. Something no one should ever have to go through but especially at her age. "I'm right here…Mom's here. We're all here… We all love you and you don't have to go through this alone."

"But why me?" Lena turned and threw her arms around Sydney's neck, sobbing for the first time, holding on tightly. "Why was I spared and not Antony? Why am, I alive and not he? Why did I survive but not our baby?"

"I don't know, Lena," Sydney held her rocking her softly and crying with her into her hair, "But you can't ask yourself that question… because you were saved for a reason. You were the light of Antony's life and you are the light of ours'… the light of all Russia. It wasn't your time and I don't know why this happened but things happen the way they do and you can't stay still and keep asking yourself 'why' but move forward… Sometimes the reason 'why' is eventually shown to us and others its never clear and makes no sense." She held her trembling sister more tightly while she cried, "If I hadn't had lost Danny, I would have never gone to work at the CIA as a double, never would have found out about Dad working for the CIA and we'd never have found out about Mom…I wouldn't have gone after her, she wouldn't have turned herself into the CIA to get me out and, you wouldn't be here and neither would I, because they would have never had the chance to go to Panama and make you," She smiled through her tears. "And without you, Lena, there was a big chance that Dad and I would have lost Mom and you both, to the world had we not come after her again, here, and none of anything after including Nicholas and Nadia and my marrying Vaughn and having my own children would have happened. You really are the tie that binds us all…I don't understand why things work the way they do but you'll make yourself crazy if you keep asking that question. You just have to learn, as I have," She let go of another small sob thinking about those she'd loved and lost tragically, "That you were blessed to know Antony at all…that you were able to share such a significant part of your life together. You don't have to let go of your love for him, you just have to let him go…" She cried and Lena began sobbing harder in that reality.

Irina watched them from the doorway holding back her own anguished cries and felt Jacks' arms wrap around her from behind, holding her for a moment as they both watched and then stepped away, giving the girls their privacy.

"My hearts breaking with hers,' Jack," Irina turned into his chest, burying her head under his chin with tears wetting his shirt, "I don't know how Sydney did it…I don't know how she got through losing Danny."

"She had friends who loved her, were there for her…and she had a purpose to keep her going," He pulled her back cupping her face with a smile and wiping at her tears, "Finding you."

Irina smiled and sobbed all at the same time, rewrapping her arms around him and crying into his neck.

"And you do know how Sydney did it…Her inner strength and she got that from you…You got through all those years by having your own purpose…" Jack kissed the skin just before her ear speaking softly. "Sydney." He smiled softly in a whisper and held her more tightly.

Irina had just set on the edge of the bed about to turn the light out when she heard the familiar soft knock on her door and her eyes flashed back to Jack's in surprise and anxiety, "Come in, Sweetheart."

"Mama…" Lena shifted her weight on her heels, tears flowing down her face in silent streams standing in their doorway wearing Antony's hockey jersey as her nightshirt, nervously playing with the long sleeves covering her hands, wanting to be wrapped up in his arms and this was all she had left.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" Irina's heart began to pound seeing her daughter standing before her and hoping this was a sign she was reaching out.

"Can I sleep with you guys?" Lena asked in a rush and sobbed at the end though she tried to hold it back.

"Of course," Irina cried with her throwing back the blanket as Lena launched herself around the bed and into her mother's arms crying deeply as Irina held her and rocked her. "It's okay…let it out." She ran her hands over Lena's back feeling the bones beginning to protrude through her skin and clothing from not eating and she sighed through her own sob, that Sydney had broken through the wall that had been holding back the tsunami of pent up emotions. Her eyes flashed back to Jack's and her fingers motioned him over and soon he was holding them both with Lena sandwiched in the middle of her parents as they all cried together.

Lena had eventually cried herself softly to sleep, lying over her mother's chest with her ear over Irina's heart and her hand palming the side of her mother's neck while Irina stroked her hair and smiled sadly over to Jack in the dimly lit room, that their daughter was having to survive yet another massive trauma. Her fingers linked with his with Lena lying mostly between them.

Jack leaned over and kissed Irina's lips and then the back of Lena's head, kissing it again blinking back tears thinking about almost losing her and her lifeless, cold body in the snow…sending their thanks Heavenward to their little Guardian Angel in bringing her back to them and smiled tearfully at the thought, that his son now had two more helpers in being Guardians to his daughter from above.

They fell asleep with Lena safely cocooned between them and their fingers entwined over her, keeping her from more harm and pain, at least for this night.

* * *

_***North Country***_

"There she is." Irina spoke into her headphones over the roar of the helicopter blades and pointed with her finger too the solitary figure dressed in black tearing across the white tundra she was so familiar with. "Set down in front of her and block her path." She spoke to her pilot and he buzzed over the running figure in black to land on a spot just ahead of her.

Lena's head turned only slightly upward as she ran hard through the snow to see the black chopper fly past her overhead, her mother no doubt, as she'd been gone running from sun up and looking at the sky around her now, almost sun down. Pure adrenaline and a wash of mixed emotions drove her on and her body moved on instinct rather than of conscious action. She raised her hand to wipe at the stream of blood running from her nose when she felt the loose strand of hair flying around her face, stick to her face in the red matter when it escaped her ponytail.

Irina jumped out of the chopper and walked up to the crest of the hill, looking down at her daughter running on full speed, looking like herself not so many years ago; trying to outrun her emotions and the demons chasing her. The flash of red spread across Lena's cheek immediately held Irina's attention as her child approached; running too long and too hard in the cold, she knew.

Since the night Lena'd first come into their bedroom to sleep three weeks ago, she had been back every night since only without a word. She'd gone back to barely speaking just after that first night and instead had taken up running the moment she was cleared a week early from the usual six weeks of recovery time after giving birth; running for lengths and distances that increased everyday.

Irina had let her be knowing her daughter as she knew herself and knowing she needed the time and space but when the sun began to set this day and Lena was still not back, Irina's motherly instincts took over and she set out to find her; knowing her daughter no longer cared about herself or wellbeing, but she still did as her mother and was determined to get Lena to care again, too.

"You can't run forever." She called out to Lena when the two were a few yards apart; knowing all too well that you can never out run the things that drive you.

Lena began to swerve intending to bypass the interception and called back in monotone without meeting her mother's eyes, already in tears and not wanting anyone to see.

"Running is what I do best, Mama."

Irina moved quicker than lightening and ran forward, snagging Lena's clothing and whipping her around into her arms with Lena still fighting to get away, "Not from me."

Irina held her with tears streaming down her face as she sank into the snow holding Lena back against her chest and her daughter began to sob in her arms. "Let it go, Baby. Let it go…"

_***Deliver Me***_

With her mother's arms wrapped tightly around her, her cheek pressed against the side of her head, whispering and rocking them slightly, Lena couldn't stop the tears flowing from her eyes and let out a primal scream, letting go of the held back emotions in the safety net of her mother's embrace.

The pain was excruciating as a million images of years with Antony raced fluidly through her mind ending with the last look in his eyes as they went over the bridge and then his pale face staring up at her in the casket. The pain and torment of delivering a baby she was not even aware of who had suddenly consumed her every thought and delivering him from her body was like expelling her now lifeless heart from the shell that she'd become in a horrific fashion.

She cried long and hard for minutes on end, her sobs making her body heave and Irina's heart break over and over.

_"I loved him, Mama!"_ Lena held onto the arms that circled her chest and wailed with a continuous stream of blood running from her nose tainting her lips red and dripping from her chin onto Irina's arm.

"I know you did, Sweetheart," Irina cried into her ear, closing her eyes and rocking with Lena in the freezing snow, her own mind flashing back to holding her in this same way as she held her lifeless body in the freezing river that night; thanking God once again feeling her chest heaving beneath her arms, alive.

"It hurts so much!" Lena cried in agonizing tears, "I can't stop seeing his face, the look in his eyes before we went through the ice…" She sobbed choking in another breath.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I'm so sorry." Irina kissed her temple repeatedly holding her more tightly if that was possible to hear her daughter's nightmares and the flashbacks.

"I saw him, Mama…" She hiccupped in her sob, "I saw him." She repeated almost breathless still in disbelief.

"Saw who, Baby?" Irina asked with knit brows hearing the change in her daughters' voice and knowing she was no longer talking about Antony or the baby.

"I saw him, Mama…I saw Jack…When I died, I saw Jack," Lena cried in the same soft whisper and then sobbed thinking about her first meeting with her brother and angelic Guardian Angel whom had saved her life though she didn't know why. "I was being pulled through the water and out from the ice…I could see everyone on the banks and Nicholas and Jaxx sliding into the water…the moon was so bright…and then there he was…this cute little boy smiling at me," She sobbed and turned in Irina's arms burying her face against her mother's chest and clinging desperately while Irina went still beneath her with raining tears listening and in shock, "I knew who he was right away…He pulled my hand so I kneeled before him and then he covered my eyes with his little hands and brushed them over my face barely touching me…He was smiling and said,'_You shouldn't be here, Lena…it's not your time'_ and then brushed noses with me in an Eskimo kiss with his little forehead pressed to mine and said, _'You have to go back, Lena…Mama needs you and its not her time either,'_ and then he kissed me on the lips saying, '_They'll be okay…_' and then I don't remember anymore." Lena sobbed harder and buried her face into Irina's neck and hair, "Except waking up in the hospital with you beside me!"

Irina gasped holding more tightly to her daughter in hearing about her encounter on the other side. She'd wondered if her son and daughter had met in the time that Lena was clinically dead and if it was he, who had sent Lena back to them as he had done with her, upon her death in the Execution.

_'Thank you,'_ She sighed and choked back a breath sending another prayer Heavenward to her little boy for sending his sister back to them and granting them that one miracle.

"He is your Guardian Angel." 'And mine,' Irina realized with a smile, having only thought about him in regards to their children and now thinking about all that she'd survived over her life time after losing him and in saving Lena's life, saved hers' once more, too.

The 'they' in the, 'they'll be okay' was obviously in reference to Antony and the baby, knowing already then that their souls were already joining his in Heaven.

"If he's my Guardian Angel then why did I lose the baby? He was inside me, Mama! Apart of me! Why give him to me and then take him away at the same time? I don't understand." Lena sobbed with an excruciating pain that would not end with the gaping hole in her heart; the ruins of a heart, part of her own inside her daughter, that Irina was desperately trying to keep going pressing their chests together and pumping her love into her child with her' own heart's every beat, just as quickly as it was bleeding out in Lena through that gaping hole, hoping she could keep them both going until they found a way to mend it together.

"I don't know, Sweetheart. I don't understand it myself. I asked the same questions after I lost your brother," Irina held feeling the chill with a mighty wind gust blowing over the hill, "Why would I be given this gift only to have it so cruelly taken away? Eventually, I had to stop asking the question because there was never going to be an answer." She stroked Lena's hair off her forehead with tears freezing on her face. "At least not one that I was satisfied with …one that would stop the aching in my heart from the hole his death created."

"It hurts so badly, Mama!" Lena wailed in a strangled cry, "I just want to die! I just want to die and make it go away!"

"I know you do, Baby." Irina cried turning her more and pulling her to her chest fully and desperately tightly with fear and heartache echoing through her heart and soul remembering her own feelings of wanting the same, "I know you do. But I won't let you…I won't let you," She rocked her sobbing with her and speaking in a whisper, "Or I'll die, too."

Lena's arms clung more tightly feeling like she was falling and clinging for her life raft in her mother who always made everything better when she was hurt or in pain.

"How do I make it go away? Help me make it go away, Mama!" She pleaded with her mother trembling in her arms.

"I wish I could, Sweetheart." Irina cried that she couldn't take this pain away, "It never goes away…you just learn how to live with it and that only comes with time…but I'll be right here, with you every step of the way and I promise, you'll never be alone." She finished quietly and Lena sobbed again, "I'm here, Sweetie…you're not alone."

* * *

_***O Holy Night***_

"It's so beautiful out right now." Nadia smiled looking at the small puff of her breath visible in the gorgeous bright moonlight on a perfect Christmas Eve.

"I'm not used to Christmas with snow." Nikolas smiled with his arm wrapped securely around her sitting in front of him on the horse. The two had taken Sheera out for a ride in the late afternoon before dinner, gift opening and church. The soft crunch of snow beneath the majestic black horse's hooves as they weaved around the tall trees in the moonlight the only sound breaking the silence as the two had mostly been content with companionable silence. "All these lights on the trees and palace are nothing short amazing." He marveled at the white lights by the billions illuminating most every tree and the palace they could see glowing in the distance. "It's so beautiful."

"Yes, it is…" Nadia answered with her own awe, "This time of year had always been one of my favorites." Her smile turned sad and eyes dropped thinking about her sister's pain and the loss that had turned this time of year tragic again.

Nikolas instantly leaned his head forward and snuggled it into the crook of her neck kissing the spot before her ear. "It will be again…in time, it will again."

When they weaved out of a row of trees the horse made a noise and jumped slightly catching sight of Lena kneeling in the snow over the unmarked grave she knew exactly where it was. She didn't seem to notice if she heard them approaching and not too far from her in the distance with tears streaking from her eyes glinting in the moonlight and hair twisting around softly with stray strands in the slight chilly wind.

"Should we stop?" Nikolas whispered staring at the slight profile of Lena in the darkness with the beam of the moon illuminating her black figure on the pristine white snow.

Nadia shook her head 'no' softly as the horse walked slowly on, the tears in Nadia's eyes had built and fell almost immediately, "I think she wants to be alone." Lena's lack of acknowledgement had either meant she was consumed in another time and place or that she was hoping they wouldn't stop and just keep going and Nadia was afraid to intrude for either reason, knowing there was a time to be with her sister to help her heal and also a time to let her be alone, she knew both from experience.

"Mama…" Nadia had tear streaks when she entered the palace not long after to find the majority of her family preparing for dinner. Nikolas had dropped her off before taking Sheera back to the stables.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" Irina set down the silver flatware she was placing on the table and was immediately at her daughter's side.

"Lena…she's just kneeling out there in the snow…I'm worried about her." Nadia spoke quietly. Riding away from her sister her worry had increasingly grown wondering how long Lena had actually been out there.

"I thought she was upstairs…" Irina gasped and then immediately pinched her forehead with her fingers realizing her daughter had snuck out again. Her eyes flashed to Jack's and he nodded softly swallowing hard in silent agreement with her knowing what she was going to do, "I'll go…thank you." She kissed Nadia and held her tightly for a moment reining in her tears.

Lana immediately had tears in her eyes watching Irina go and feeling the horrendous pain that Lena was in over the same two lost lives. They had celebrated Christmas together for years now, spending Christmas Eve together and then going their separate ways with other family on Christmas Day and had thought about not attending this year as it was so painful with the fresh loss in their lives. But when Isabella said something to them about this night as if it wasn't even a question that they were going or not, having never thought otherwise, they decided that for her sake, and their own and after talking with Jack and Irina, that it was best for all to be together during this hard time and knew Antony would want the same. The Mazzio's felt closer to Antony being near Lena and her entire family in the place he loved and in turn, the Romanov family felt closer to him as well, being near his parents and sister.

Irina had thrown on her black fur coat and headed towards the ruins. When she neared them she was expecting to find Lena still kneeling there but instead the grave was absent of her presence and Irina knit her brows with worry. Her eyes tracked the set of footprints in the new fallen snow in the moonlight and watched as they disappeared behind the bricked wall of the old chapel. With cautious steps she followed them and took a deep breath sighing when she saw Lena sitting on one of the old church pews that had been pushed back, staring off into space and her mother's heart was immediately breaking for her.

Without a word, she walked up the aisle of the gorgeous old ruins dusted in the new fallen snow glinting like diamonds in the moonlight above. She brushed the powdery flakes from the bench in the spot next to Lena and sat down soundlessly beside her. Her eyes scanning the interior for the first time since learning that it had been 'their place,' having respected the sanctity of it and stayed outside its walls when visiting the grave until now.

_***Silent Night***_

"Do you remember when I sat with you on the bench by the pond after having fallen asleep with Antony outside?" Lena suddenly spoke almost startling Irina. Her big dark eyes glittering with unshed tears as she stare at the same spot on the floor by the altar now covered in small snowdrifts.

"Mmhmm," Irina nodded softly with a questioning gaze of concern and pain for her daughter; her own eyes struggling to hold back the tears remembering that day not that long ago.

"We fell asleep there." Lena answered softly with her eyes never leaving the spot and using them to point before tilting her head back to look up at the brilliant sky above them. With head tilted back staring up at the moon the tears fell silently from her eyes again, "I just want to die, Mama…it hurts too much and I just want it to stop."

Irina's face contorted into a sob and inhaled a shaky breath as she wrapped her arms around Lena and pulled her into her, "I know you do you, Baby…I felt the same way after I lost my mother, and then your father and sister and brother…it hurt too much for far too long…and I just wanted it to stop." She spoke softly with Lena's head tucked under her chin remembering those horrid days in Kashmir and then after, still wanting to die for years after, the pain was so consuming. "But I'm glad God didn't listen to me then… if he had granted my prayers of wanting to die …I wouldn't have you now…or all the light you brought back into my life." She smiled softly thinking about how drastically her life changed because of the girl she held in her arms now. "I know you hurt…and I wish I could take it away," She sobbed softly kissing the top of Lena's head. "I would do anything…trade places with them if I could-"

_"No!"_ Lena gasped sharply with a sob turning to cling to Irina with a fierceness and terror in her heart, _"I couldn't lose you, Mama! I need you!"_ She sobbed thinking about the fact her mother's heart had stopped when her own did and could have lost her too if not for her brother sending her back.

"And I need you," Irina held her more tightly in turn with her own sob, "I can't lose you either, Lena. I know you want to die but I won't let you." Her gloved hand smoothed over the back of Lena's hair, "I know your heart is broken…but its still beating because of the love for them you'll always carry with you…they won't let you give up and neither will I."

"Why give me a baby just to take him away, Mama?" Lena sobbed with shaking body as the images of her son flashed through her mind, his tiny perfect form that looked like a tiny sleeping angel.

"I don't know, Sweetheart," Irina cried with her remembering asking the same question, "I couldn't understand when I was given your brother just to loose him…but his short little life had meaning and changed me in unimaginable ways…he's still my baby and I still love him as much as I ever did…and I'm comforted by the fact that I will see him again someday…and that he looks over us…" She swallowed hard with a pained smile; "He helps to keep all of you safe when I fail…I guess God decided he made a better angel…and decided the same for your baby boy." She sniffled thinking her grandson did look entirely precious like a sleeping angel, just as her own son had and that was a reasonable conclusion in her mind.

They held each other crying silently for quite some time, holding onto each other with Irina willing her heart to keep Lena's from giving up. Before they left, Lena and dug under the bench they were sitting on in the snow and retrieved a black bag. From inside and without explanation she removed three white candles and a matchbook. She placed the candles in the middle of the snow on the steps of the altar and struck a match lighting two and then blowing it out before standing and facing her mother.

With tears streaming from her eyes she handed the matches to her mother and Irina knew then whom the third was for, her own lost child, Jack. Lena saw her slight hesitation and nodded softly with her first pained hint of a smile and then it was gone in the next flash. Irina's hand shook slightly as she lit the candle for her son next to those of her grandson and his father. She crossed herself in her silent prayer to them all and her mother and father whom she knew were looking after all of them and then wiped away her tears, taking Lena's hand in her own. They watched the little candles surrounded by the glinting snow for a moment before turning to leave in silence, Irina's arm around Lena's shoulder and kissing her head. They would get through this…somehow they would get through.

* * *

As January arrived, the media world was once again circling like vultures in anticipation of the start of the trial in Cuba against the five offenders and the timing couldn't have been worse. Lena was the star witness who would have to get on the stand and recant the details of what she saw and did and the closer the day approached her already unstable heart and mind came that much closer to breaking completely. She seemed to have shut down completely once again with the haunting hollowness taking over her entire being as she compartmentalized the tragedy of her loss for now, only able to handle one traumatic event at a time and right now she knew her sister needed her.

When they arrived in Cuba a mass of photographers and press were waiting everywhere they went with the world following the trial and the personal tragedies of the Romanov family that just kept coming. Lena hadn't been seen in public since leaving the hospital in St. Petersburg almost two months ago. She hadn't gone with them to church on Christmas Eve, not ready for that yet knowing there would be a new baby playing the newborn Jesus in the annual Nativity Play for the children and that would have been torture. With as much devastation as she'd suffered through, her sole focus the minute she stepped off the plane became Nadia and protecting her, scared for her sister in facing her attackers for the first time since that night.

The trial was to start in two days time and Nadia was already starting to panic. She didn't want to have to see them, hear them or hear about what they'd done to her and she didn't want Lena to have to go through this now, when she already had so much of her own pain to bear.

* * *

_Havana, Cuba_

"Nadia…" Lena called out to her sister walking into her hotel room just across from her own the first night they arrived. They were going to have dinner with the rest of their family in the hotel's private dining area as the immaculate hotel was the only place safe from the media that had followed them everywhere else.

She walked into the entrance after knocking slightly on the door opened a crack and after getting no response walked in to see Nadia sitting on the end of the bed with eyes glued to the television, unmoving. Lena heard the shower shut off and knew that Nikolas was just finishing in the bathroom and called out once again to her sister with concern flooding her as she approached.

"Nadia…" She called out more softly coming to stand beside her though Nadia's gaze never wavered from the images on the television. The news channel she was watching was covering the upcoming trial and flashing before Nadia's eyes were the images taken by the police upon first entering the small apartment. The boy's bodies lying in pools of their own blood and the image of the one on the ground that had gone out the window…when the next images flashed to Nadia herself with blood covered face, naked torso lying on the couch with arm wrenched behind her back, a violent tremble immediately coursed through her body involuntarily.

"Nadia…" Lena called out again immediately upon seeing what her sister was staring at and the tears in Nadia's eyes at having never before seen the images. The pictures kept coming one after another, showing distance shots and then close ups of the devastation. Her heart was pounding when Nadia still refused to answer her and seemingly lost in another world. She quickly stepped in front of the television to block her sisters' view terrified at the look she saw on Nadia's face. Nadia's gaze continued to stare straight forward as if looking through Lena who quickly knelt in front of her with hands on her sister's knee and reaching out to grasp her face gently. "Nadia, look at me please." She cried with her own tears building and threatening to fall. "Nadia…" She called out again getting no response and her heart pounding in terror at no recognition in her sisters' eyes. "Serge!" Lena called out loudly knowing he'd hear through the open door and the man instantly poked his head in the door, "Get Mama!" He was gone in the next instant rapidly moving across the hall.

"Your Majesty, Nadia…" Was all Serge said in a rapid breath to Irina when she opened her own door and Irina flew across the space into Nadia and Nikolas's room.

"Lena?" She asked immediately seeing her daughter kneeling in front of Nadia trying to assess the situation. "Nadia?" She immediately knelt beside Lena, "Nadia?" She softly shook Nadia's arm and received no response either, "What happened?" Irina's eyes flashed with tears to Lena.

"I came in and she was just staring at the television…she won't answer me." Lena cried softly scared to death her sister wasn't responding.

"Oh God…" Irina's eyes flashed immediately to the television and the images of her daughter broken and bleeding and then back to Nadia's as Jack and Sydney immediately came through the bedroom door to see what was happening, "Nadia…Sweetheart?" She tried again.

"What happened?" Jack asked in a panic to see Nadia's unblinking eyes staring into space and not acknowledging any of them including Lena and Irina who were touching her.

"The photos..." Irina answered quickly and heard both of their slight gasps as they both looked at the television screen for the first time.

"I'll get Marcelo and Alexei." Sydney was instantly out the door with tears in her eyes running to get two of the doctors from their family in attendance as Sergei wouldn't be able to be there until the following morning with work.

"Sweetheart?" Irina shook her slightly and still there was no response.

Nikolas walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and was instantly surprised with wide-eyes to see all of them in their room and then concern flooding him immediately to see Nadia, the object of their obvious concern.

"What happened?" He asked the same question they all had only didn't wait for the answer before gasping at the images of Nadia on the television made clear what was happening. "Oh no…" They were horrendous images he'd never seen before and could only guess as to what they were doing to her, seeing herself so broken and devastated and lying face down on the couch with his mind short circuiting to the bruises they'd left on her body and being grabbed from behind.

Irina shut the television off and then called out again to her daughter, "Nadia!" she snapped her fingers in front of her daughter's face and still nothing so she clapped hard and loudly finally causing Nadia to blink and then slowly turn her head to look at her mother and then sister before her. "Are you okay, Sweetheart?" Irina asked immediately gently touching her face.

"What happened?" Nadia asked in a daze not remembering anything except sitting down and turning on the television.

"You don't remember?" Irina was immediately alarmed and grateful to see Marcelo and Alexei come through the door. "You wouldn't answer us, Sweetheart…you were watching the news and the images of you from that night were being shown for the trial." She cried softly running circles over the back of Nadia's hand. "You don't remember?"

"No…" Nadia shook her head softly with tears starting to drip from her lashes looking around to those in the room and seeing all their tears in their eyes and worry on their face.

"Nadia…" Alexei came to stand beside her as Lena moved out of the way but only off to Nadia's side on the bed so that Marcelo could take her place kneeling before her sister. "Marcelo's going to take a quick look at you, alright Child…just to make sure you are okay." He gave her a reassuring smile and a nod and Nadia nodded softly having no idea what happened.

Marcelo flashed his light in both her eyes and then listened to her heart which was pounding rapidly and then made her squeeze his fingers on reflex. "Nadia, do you know where we are and why we're here?" He asked quietly wanting to make sure her mind hadn't snapped hearing that she was unresponsive before.

"In Havana…for the trial." Nadia answered softly, "Our birthdays are next week," She gave a soft smile to her aunt and brother she saw standing in the doorway now.

"Good," He gave her a smile that she passed all his tests.

"What happened? Why don't I remember seeing them or not hearing Mama?" She asked with heart continuing to pound, scared for her own mind and afraid she was going to lose it.

"I think you're brain immediately went into protective mode…and blocked it out…shut down for a little bit in safety mode." He answered her honestly with a soft sigh knowing she was scared and gave her a soft smile.

Everyone else in the room held back their tears and sobs putting on a brave front now that they had confirmation that it wasn't the alcohol that had kept her from remembering but a safety block in her mind to keep her from remembering the traumatic events. Somewhere inside her fragile mind, she did know exactly what happened to her until she was knocked unconscious and had been deemed so horrific by her mind it was now locking it off to protect her.

"Maybe we should just order room service and eat up here?" Jack suggested with a lump in his throat terrified to actually have 'seen' her mind shut off in its dramatic attempt to protect her and worried for what else lurking around in Havana would potentially set her off again.

"No, Daddy." Nadia gave him a small forced smile shaking her head, "I'm okay…really. I don't remember anything and all is fine now so let's just go eat. I don't want to be a prisoner in this hotel room or keep anyone else one in theirs' while we're here. I can't hide from the world forever…I'll be okay." She smiled trying to exude confidence she didn't feel and they all knew it but nodded in agreement, letting her steer this ship past her own icebergs knowing it was a way for her to control the situation as much as she could and knowing how important that was.

"Okay…" Irina kissed her head with a soft smile, "We'll wait for you in the hall then." She nodded at Nikolas seeing he still needed to get dressed and he nodded nervously back.

When they were all in the hallway waiting, Jack voiced what everyone was scared to know the answer to but asking internally now, "What do you think?" His eyes flashed to his brother-in-law and then Alexei.

"Her mind is scrambling to keep the trauma blocked…" Marcelo spoke softly with a heavy sigh, "Being here…with this many reminders…especially tomorrow with the trial starting and evidence being shown and talked about…I'm not certain her mind is going to be able to keep blocking it all…it might start coming back to her in pieces, it might come back in a massive flood, or…" He swallowed hard.

"Or what?" Jack asked breathless with terror and squeezing Irina's hand for support already knowing what he was about to say and having 'seen' it before in Irina from the films from Kashmir. "She'll break?"

Marcelo and Alexei nodded softly simultaneously, "She could go catatonic to completely block out everything or she could break into insanity…if her mind just turned off the way you described it to me just now…and with her not remembering…I'm very concerned." Marcelo's eyes held the fear he was trying not to show too much. "I think it would be very wise to have a specialist on hand while she goes through this…just in case."

"I agree." Alexei agreed softly with great sadness and concern for his granddaughter.

"Oh God…" Lena gasped clutching the sides of her head and slide down the wall in the hallway with Sydney curling around her instantly. "What happens when I start to recount what happened to her then? When she's sitting in the courtroom? What happens if what I say pushes her over the edge?" She asked with silent tears in a whisper and quivering voice. "What if I make her go insane?"

"I don't think she'll go insane, Sweetheart," Alexei looked at her with soft eyes, "It's just a precaution…her mind is a very strong one like your mother's," His eyes flashed softly to Irina's in understanding, "Her mind survived a great deal of trauma and she never went insane." When she justly could have and 'should' have.

"No…but she broke." Lena cried softly with apologetic eyes to her mother in worry remembering clearly the image of her mother emerging from solitary practically catatonic and the hollowness in her eyes. She'd seen that bit of 'real' footage at the end of the film of her 'real' mother emerging from that solitary cell, not the actress portraying her and saw what happened when her mind could take no more. She had not gone insane, but she still broke.

"Yes, I did." Irina cried softly kneeling down in front of Lena taking her hand knowing all too well how fragile her own mind was and hating this situation even more, "But there is a big difference between she and I. We're going to be here for her to love her and keep her _together_ and not let that happen. She's not alone as I was." She held back a sob when Lena launched herself into her arms holding on tightly while the other's cried silently thinking about what they had all gone through and Irina being the pillar of light and strength in their belief that Nadia and Lena could make it through too having survived it and more herself. "We'll stick together in this."


	62. Chapter 62

_**AN: There are reasons why this story is rated 'M' and parts of this chapter, is one of those reasons. Tissue Warning and maybe a stiff drink for those old enough.- Wild**_

_**Music for this chapter: Cuba **_**by Willy Chirino y Celia Cruz**_**, Cosmic Love **_**by Florence & The Machine**_**, Crawling in My Skin **_**by Linkin Park**_**, Change (In the House of Flies) **_**by Deftones**_**, Dare You To Move **_**by Switchfoot, **_**Stay **_**by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko, _With or Without You_ by Scala & Kolacny Brothers.**_**  
**_

* * *

SIXTY-TWO

o

**_*Cuba*_**

Nadia smiled more than once during dinner by the pool and thankful it had been closed off for them to give them some privacy and only hoped it didn't cause too much issue with the others' staying in the gloriously old and famous hotel. Most had seemed incredibly nice and supportive in their silent smiles and nods in passing and understanding why the family would want some privacy with they themselves seeing the mass of Press waiting outside the walls for a 'piece' of them.

Looking around at the beauty around her and listening to the flavorful music lost in her own thoughts, Nadia felt a sudden wash of sadness and relief that she would never again return to this island nation when this was over with.

"Are you ready?" Nikolas asked her quietly nudging her softly seeing her staring off into space while everyone else prepared to go back to their rooms to bed with a long day ahead of them tomorrow in opening arguments for the prosecution. She hadn't responded to him or Irina when they spoke to her just before and their worry was only continuing to grow.

"Yeah, sorry." Nadia smiled taking his hand with her good one and accepting the help up.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly with deep concern; his heart pounding and about to explode continuously being in this place and knowing what happened to her here and couldn't imagine what she was feeling or thinking.

"Yeah…just tired. I'm ready for bed." Nadia smiled at him softly linking her fingers with his.

**_*Cosmic Love*_**

Lena was fighting hard to keep the box of memories closed with mind continuously flashing to images of she and Antony in the pool just a couple of months before when everything was still happy and right with their world. His smiling face would only briefly flash in front of her mind's eye, staring at the illuminated green water in the pool only to be horrifically replaced seconds later with the long torturous images of his face as they hit the railing and then looking at her while they fell hitting the ice and the consuming cold water of blackness.

"Are you coming, Sweetheart?" Irina's concern was overflowing and felt stretched thin with her two youngest daughters and son all dealing with loss and tragedies all at once. Lena had remained sitting at the table while everyone else was moving to get up.

"I think I'm going to take a walk on the private beach for a while." Lena answered quietly thinking about how horrible of an idea that was as she was sure to be tortured with more memories of Antony while there but had decided somewhere in her heart that it was worth the torture of reliving the last images of him she had for just that one second of happiness preceding them for now as she desperately tried to remember his smile and laugh and the happier moments. All she could seem to remember now was the horror of flying over the bridge and then seeing him dead in his casket with their baby on his chest.

"Sweetheart…" Irina instantly didn't like the idea especially being as they were in Cuba and Lena out wandering the beaches alone with the images of finding Nadia destroyed on the couch immediately flashing through her mind. She knew that not all Cubans were like those boys but she couldn't help her motherly fear and instincts from wanting to protect her child.

"Max will be with me and as many other Security members you want, Mama…" Lena knew immediately her mother's concern and why. "I just need to clear my head before tomorrow…I won't be gone long, I promise."

"Okay." Irina agreed softly with Jack understanding in their concern knowing how much she was dealing with at this time. "I want Max within ten feet of you at all times and the others I'll keep at a distance."

"Alright." Lena nodded softly standing and saying her 'goodnights' to everyone before walking off solemnly down the path towards the beach not far from them with everyone watching her go and Max right by her side. The man was sticking to her like glue with his surge of extreme protectiveness coming out after all she'd been through.

Lena hadn't walked far at all and almost immediately sat on the sand looking out at the ocean of rolling black waves, staring out into nothingness with Max standing exactly ten feet behind her. The clouds had rolled in and covered the moon and stars leaving nothing but eerie blackness around them in the quiet.

"Will you sit beside me please, Max?" She asked after a few moments with his hovering behind her making her nervous and if truth be told, she wanted him closer and not to be alone.

The man hesitated only briefly and then walked forward and sat beside her in the sand, looking over her profile and noting the tears in her eyes while she remained looking at the ocean and silence once again dominated with only the crashing of the black waves interrupting it in intervals.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Jack asked with his arm grazing softly up Irina's where she lay awake draped over his chest. She hadn't said anything in the dark stillness for quite sometime but he knew she wasn't sleeping as he wasn't and could feel her heart pounding in her chest. He'd always respected her sixth sense where their children were concerned and that was even more heightened now after what had just happened with Lena and Irina's knowing that something wasn't right on that night as well.

"I have a foreboding feeling I just can't shake." Irina answered quietly with heart picking up speed as the uneasiness spread through her like thick tar slowly consuming her and pulling her down.

Jack's heart immediately began to pound and his fingers stilled on her arm, "Like what?"

"I don't know…" Irina swallowed hard with tears in her eyes, "But I feel it coming." And she did and so did Jack with the incessant pounding of her heart.

* * *

**_*Crawling in My Skin*_**

_"Nadia!"_ _She heard her sister screaming through the fog in her mind and saw her fighting the four men surrounding her…she felt the pain in her face and arm and the rough hands grabbing at her hips with the body sliding between her legs and she clenched them tightly again to stop him from advancing and heard Lena screaming at her again and felt the explosion against her face and then nothing._

Nadia flew forward in bed screaming bloody murder and with raging tears as it all came rushing back to her, hitting her like a tsunami wave and Nikolas flew out of bed beside her with pounding heart.

_"Nadia?"_ He asked immediately trying to come close to her with tears immediately pooling in his eyes and she screamed louder looking at him and then slid out of bed shaking violently and pulling at her head rocking back and forth on the floor and screaming.

He ran to the door and flung it open seeing Serge's wide eyes standing outside having heard her screams and didn't stop running as he immediately began to pound on Irina and Jack's door across the hall with raging tears staining his face in panic.

Lena had just come up after spending an hour on the beach and heard and saw all that was before her the moment she stepped off the elevator, momentarily stunned until her ear's zeroed in on Nadia's screaming and saw Nikolas pounding furiously on her parent's door and ran for Nadia's room.

"Nadia…" Lena flew into the room and saw her sister on the floor beside the bed rocking in place rapidly and screaming while pulling on her hair and violently trembling with blinding tears. Lena tried to move closer and Nadia jumped back screaming louder and rocking harder.

Irina and Jack knew the moment they heard the rapid fist pounding what was happening and flew out of their room moments after Nikolas started to pound on their door flying into Nadia's room just behind Lena.

"Nadia…" Irina tried to approach with a calm tone and her daughter only went more ballistic and jumped up scrambling away from them as she went crazy spinning in circles and screaming with loud sobs.

_"Get Marcelo!"_ Jack's eyes immediately darted to Nikolas's, realizing she must have remembered and was having a breakdown as they feared before their eyes. Nikolas nodded rapidly and ran with blinding tears to the door a few doors down from theirs' pounding in the same way to rouse them through their sound proof rooms.

"Nadia…it's _Mama_," Irina tried to approach her again with tears running rivers down her face in silence trying to reach her daughter and hold on before she went over the edge completely. "Nadia…" She called out again softly and Nadia's eyes flashed to her mothers' for only a moment still screaming and then to the cast on her arm and went more crazy slamming it into her head and then against the wall and spinning wildly out of control again completely lost in another time.

_"Lena!"_ Nadia screamed as proof, crying out for help as she relived her hell that night and Lena sobbed loudly in horror to hear her sister pleading. _"Lena!"_ Nadia kept screaming flying around in the corner of the room pulling at her hair and covering her face with her hand and then beating both hands against her head again with the images assaulting her.

_"I'm here, Nadia! I'm here!"_ Lena shouted back trying to surge forth with sobbing tears to let her know she was not alone and the moment she touched Nadia, Nadia swung her cast covered arm out instantly with Lena unprepared for the attack and was struck across her cheek hard while Nadia kept screaming her name, begging for help and yet believing any touch to be those of the men she was seeing in her mind and trying to fight off.

_"Lena!"_ Nadia screamed again and started spinning and rocking, _"Help me!"_ She begged and pleaded while resuming pulling her own hair and hitting her head repeatedly.

_"Nadia, I'm here!"_ Lena cried back with anguish pleading with her sister to hear.

_"Irina, grab her!"_ Marcelo had come flying in the door not too long after Nikolas had left and upon seeing her immediately filled a syringe with a sedative to knock her out before she went over the edge completely seeing she was dancing on its edge and going further over by not '_seeing_' them and living only in her mind, no longer able to distinguish what was real as she was trapped in the traumatic memories right now. "Tell her, _its Mama,_ over and over. Bring her back to the present."

Irina didn't hesitate to do what he asked having been scared to touch her before and send her further over the edge but now it was in a desperate attempt to grasp her daughter and hold on to her. She grabbed Nadia's arms from behind when she was spinning and rocking and held them tightly in a cross pattern over her chest to keep her from lashing out while Nadia screamed like she had never screamed before and fought against her mother who was bringing her to the floor against her will.

_"It's Mama, Nadia, It's Mama."_ Irina kept chanting in her ear sobbing with cheek pressed against her head bringing Nadia down forcefully with her and Marcelo made his way quickly over to them. "It's Mama, Sweetheart." She repeated over and over while her brother-in-law swabbed Nadia's arm quickly with an alcohol wipe and then injected her pushing the sedative in smoothly. Irina kept holding her tightly and repeating she was 'safe' and who was holding her while the fight slowly left Nadia and her cries died off until she went completely limp just moments later while they all immediately began sobbing loudly having tried to hold it back before.

"Oh God…" Lena sobbed and crumpled to the floor rocking with sobs beside them and held a shaking hand reaching out to touch Nadia scared to death her sister had completely lost it and gone crazy.

"What happened?" Jack asked Nikolas rapidly with pouring tears in a soft voice seeing the Greek Prince was terrified staring at Irina cradling Nadia on the floor.

"She just woke up screaming and I called out her name and she didn't answer and I took a step towards her and she started screaming more and moving away so I ran to your door, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what to do." He cried and Katya immediately wrapped her arms around him into a hug seeing how upset he was and feeling the same way.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you did the right thing, Sweetheart. This isn't your fault." Katya cupped Nikolas' face making him look into her teary black eyes and then held him more tightly when he cried with fear.

"By knocking her unconscious with a sedative didn't you just trap her in it? The hell she's reliving?" Sydney asked through rampant tears of her own great fear looking at her sister's unconscious form and seeing the bruises already forming on her forehead and face where she was pounding herself in the head to stop the assault of images.

"No," Marcelo immediately shook his head with tears in his own eyes "Sedating her stopped her mind from completely taking over and closing her off for good as she was slipping further and further into confusion with no distinction in reality anymore. If I didn't sedate her…her mind could have fully snapped at any second under that kind of tidal wave of trauma released that had been held back for so long."

"Is she going to remember when she wakes up?" Nicholas asked with his own rampant tears terrified for his twin and knowing her mind had blocked it off before and wondered if it would again.

"I don't know." Marcelo shook his head, "We need to take her to the hospital where she can be monitored by psychiatric specialists when she wakes up… I only gave her enough to knock her out about an hour. We need to move quickly." His eyes glanced back at his niece who was still cradled back against Irina's chest protectively.

Nikolas stepped forward immediately wiping at his tears and squatted next to Irina with the intentions of carrying Nadia to the car and Irina sobbed biting it back as she released her daughter and helped slide her into Nikolas's arms.

"Wait right here for a moment while we throw some clothes on." Irina touched his face gently with an encouraging nod and held his eyes that it was going to be okay seeing the terror lurking in his own brown depths.

Nikolas nodded softly while Lena stayed with him and Serge and Max all still dressed from the night before and the other's quickly ran to their rooms to throw on some clothes while Nikolas, Lena and their guards waited in silence with silent tears streaming from all their eyes looking at Nadia's unconscious form.

Lena was kneeling in front of where he'd sat with Nadia on the end of the bed and sobbed softly running her hand gently over Nadia's bare forearm and then clasping her hand, "I'm so sorry." She cried softly speaking to no one but her sister with raining tear hearing Nadia's pleas over and over in her mind of her name to help her…save her from the monsters.

"Ready," Jack poked his head in the door dressed and ready to go less than two minutes later and everyone else appeared out of their doors ready to go, too.

Nikolas adjusted her so Nadia's face was buried in the curve of his neck with his cheek laying over her own protectively shielding her in a way from the outside world as he followed Serge and Jack out the door and the others followed quickly behind them into the elevator.

They knew the Press was going to be waiting outside the doors with the cars waiting outside for them with police escorts called the second they were in the rooms to change and all took deep breaths forging out the door with instantaneous questions and lights flashing as they pushed through the crowd flanking and surrounded Nikolas carrying Nadia, both of whom were still in there pajamas. Nadia wearing a pajama tank top and shorts and naked legs exposed with face hidden by Nikolas whom was wearing only thin cotton pajama pants with no shirt and no shoes. Nadia's legs still bore remnants of the deep bruises that had been made almost three months later that were clearly visible to the waiting Press who were mostly very concerned with what was happening.

With Nadia safely tucked into the back of the limousine and the cars all loaded and beginning to move, Alexei who'd hung back just briefly for this purpose addressed the Press before getting the last car joining those waiting for him to head to the hospital.

_"What happened to the Grand Duchess Nadia?"_ Had been the constant question and once again it was shouted out loudly at Alexei.

"Earlier this evening the Grand Duchess was exposed to images of herself on the Evening News from the night of the assault." He gave them all stern and angry eyes that held great emotion that 'somehow' those photos of evidence were leaked to the press, "Until now the Grand Duchess has not remembered any of her trauma as her mind had blocked it off which is quite common in cases like these. But after seeing the images and the stresses of being back in country and this trial, the wall in which her mind created to block out this trauma was cracked and not long ago…" He paused with a heavy sigh; "Everything apparently came back to her in a massive flood of trauma. We were forced to sedate her and she's now on her way to the hospital to be monitored as a precaution."

_"Precaution for what?"_ One journalist asked immediately and harshly though tears were glistening in her eyes at hearing this information.

"She suffered a severe trauma and then another with the recent loss of her nephew and good friend," He paused with a quiet sigh and everyone else remained quiet as well respecting that loss and each suddenly lost in thinking about that too for a moment, "And now the flood of stress in being back in Havana where she was assaulted to begin with. That is a lot to handle and we want to ensure that the Grand Duchess is looked after mentally and physically for her utmost health and safety."

_"Why did you have to sedate her…the Grand Duchess?"_ Another brave reporter asked but with great concern in his voice and remembering to address her formally.

"I don't think I have to spell out the 'why' if you stop and think about what it would be like if you suddenly had a tidal wave of trauma come rushing back to you in an instant." Alexei cocked his eyebrow at him with a glare and then to them all, "Now if you'll excuse me, my family and granddaughter awaits."

_"Does this mean she'll now testify?"_ Another asked as Alexei was getting into the car.

"I don't know…all I am concerned about now, as is her family, is her health and safety in this moment. That is our primary concern. She may be a Grand Duchess of Imperial Russia but do not forget that she is still human beneath her title…she breaks, bleeds, and feels just like all of you." He gave them another glare and got inside the waiting car with the security shutting it behind him.

"Nicely done." Kendall nodded to him softly as one of the occupants in the limo that waited for Alexei. His own mind had instantly thought back to the time when Irina was first in their custody and he didn't think of her as anything but a terrorist and inhuman in many ways…never thought about her breaking, or bleeding or feeling and for that, he would always feel slightly ashamed even knowing that at the time, he had reason to believe what he did about her with the information he 'thought' was the truth. Now, with his Goddaughter in Nadia, he saw her first and foremost as a person, a human and her title came after. The complete opposite of what he'd thought when first encountering her mother with Irina only being 'Former KGB, Assassin, and Terrorist.'

The news network who had shown the photographs immediately apologized when news spread quickly around the world of the latest with Nadia, saying, they were only trying to show the world exactly how horrific the tragedy and crime was that was committed against Nadia and never stopping to think what her reaction may be having no idea she had never seen the photographs of what she looked like on that night.

Also making comment that as journalists and the media they sometimes got so caught up in reporting the news and stories they forget that what is news to everyone else is in fact someone else's tragedy and life and that is where 'responsible journalism' comes into play with reporting the 'news' without exploiting the subject and subject matter. They wished her their sincerest apologies once again saying the world was only so interested in her story because they cared so deeply for her and gave her and the family their well wishes before signing off.

Irina was once again hovering over Nadia with her forehead pressed to her daughters' temple stroking her hair back gently while they waited for her to awaken. She was exhausted as they all were and many stifled yawns sitting in the Waiting Room with only Lena, Nikolas and Sydney in the room with Irina and Nadia.

"The District Attorney said that they were able to postpone the start of the trial by one day with the judge being brought aware of the situation." Jack entered the room after leaving to take the call and sat quietly next to where Lena was curled up into a ball against the back of the sofa on one end staring over at Nadia.

He was thankful for the extra day knowing they would all be zombies in the courtroom otherwise knowing that no one was going to sleep tonight already at this late hour. He turned to his own side and gently reached out pulling Lena back against him into his chest and wrapping his arms around her knowing how upset she was and had to be after hearing Nadia's pleas for Lena to help her while trapped in the hell in her mind with Lena unable to help once again. He tucked her head under his chin as she was essentially sitting in his lap with legs still pulled up and into a ball though she let him hold her.

Nadia began to stir and Irina instinctively held her more closely continuing with the soothing touches and strokes on her hair.

Her eyes flashed opened after flutter momentarily and then staring into her mother's eyes the tears came instantly and then the sobs as it all rushed back to her once again and this time, she lunged at Irina sitting up in the bed and almost flying out of it to cling to her mother in terror.

_"I remember!"_ Nadia cried, _"I remember!"_ She had no idea how she ended up in a hospital bed or room but she remembered the traumatic events from that night in October in great detail and that was enough. "I remember leaving the club and…" She sobbed loudly while Irina held her fiercely with raging silent tears as the others looked on and cried listening and watching her reaction, "And what they did…I remember! Oh God!" She wailed wanting to curl up and die with the images assaulting her mind right now and the violent tremors rushed through her body along with the instant feeling of being dirty and wanting to tear her skin off feeling their bodies touching hers. The sobs came in wracking jolts as she rapidly relived every moment in her mind.

_"Lena!"_ Came out in a strangled cry at first when the first images of her sister coming through the door flew into her mind and then he being attacked from behind and fighting the men off trying to get to her, _"Lena!" _Nadia cried out more loudly seeing her sister being attacked in her mind and hit at the same time, now with the knowledge Lena was pregnant at the time and she sobbed even more, _"No!"_ She screamed and Jack felt the massive tremble run through Lena in his arms as she sobbed silently staring at Nadia's back as she clutched their mother.

_"Lena!"_ Nadia sobbed again, _"Where's Lena?"_ She cried as the images of sounds of that night flooded and washed over her and she could see her sister trying to get to her and screaming her name to stay conscious.

"Nadia…" Lena called out quietly and watched as her sister whipped her head around in her direction.

_"Lena!"_ Nadia cried reaching for her across the space and Lena launched herself off the sofa, out of Jacks' arms onto the bed and engulfed Nadia with her own. "You came for me… You came for me!" Nadia cried over and over holding her tightly with arms fiercely holding on to Lena. "You saved me." She wailed burying her face into Lena's neck and hair clinging to her like a life raft.

Jack's blurry eyes flashed to his wife with Nadia's chanting of '_you came for me'_ and the tone of relief in her cry and couldn't' help but hear Irina uttering the same so long ago. That in spite of everything that had happened to both of them, the only thing that mattered in the end to each, was that they were both saved by someone' who loved them.

"You saved me." Nadia cried again in an almost whisper with a shudder running through her and hot tears raining against Lena's neck and mixing with her own dripping down her cheeks and Lena sobbed in turn.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner! I'm so sorry, Nadia! I'm so sorry." Lena cried with her own guilt eating at her.

"You came for me, you came for me." Nadia repeatedly chanted in a whispered cry pulling back just enough while sobbing to look at Lena and touch her face softly with her good hand and then start crying again lunging forward and holding her tightly, "You saved me, you saved me."

They eventually fell back against the bed, holding onto each other with foreheads pressed together and arms linked having cried themselves to sleep with exhaustion and Irina was cocooned around Nadia on one side with Sydney behind Lena on the other keeping them both protectively between them, crammed into the hospital bed and held there by the rails. Sydney and Irina's arms draped over each in the middle were woven and tangled with their arms together so that all four where holding onto each other and touching the others in some way and that is how they all slept the remainder of the night.

* * *

**_*Change (In the House of Flies)* _**

"Can you tell us, Grand Duchess, what happened after you were pulled inside the car?" The prosecutor asked carefully with great concern in his eyes as he shut the security tape footage off showing Nadia not wanting to get into the car to the courtroom, as evidence supporting the testimony she had just given leading up to her 'abduction' which is now what it was being called with Nadia remembering everything and confirming she did not go with them willingly that night.

Nadia had silent rivers of tears coursing from her red bloodshot eyes as she swallowed hard and closed her eyes looking down and not wanting to repeat any of what she remembered but knew she had to. She wouldn't make Lena do this for her, on her own. They would do this together. She'd been given a mild sedative and anti-anxiety pill with judge approval before beginning of the trial in light of the recent events and even with the medication she was struggling not to start screaming and crying with the images assaulting her staring at her attackers sitting at the defense table in front of her on the witness stand. Her mind was instantly thrown back to that night in the car as she recounted the events.

_"Let me go!" She flailed against them in the back seat as the car took off out of the parking lot and they all laughed. Juan, Jesus and Antonio were holding her back against them in the backseat while Carlos and Miguel were in the front seat, driving and in the passenger seat. _

_"I said let me out of the car!" She screamed at them not liking at all how they were grabbing at her with rough hands holding her down and her heart was pounding rapidly with rising fear through her liquor fogged mind. Carlos was swerving all over the road while they all laughed with her struggle. _

_"Come on Nadia, were just going to have a little fun! No one is going to hurt you, just have fun." Miguel turned around over the back of the front seat and smiled at her laughing while taking another swig from the liquor bottle that had seemingly appeared from no where. _

_"I want to go back now!" Nadia tried to yank her arm away from Jesus while sitting on Juan's lap and feeling his arousal growing beneath her as he gyrated against her slowly. Juan's hands were on her hips holding her down in the car and one of his hands crept over her thigh and caressed her suddenly between her legs making her jump. "Stop it! Take me back! Please! Take me back!" She felt the tears welling in her eyes. "Now!" She commanded again when his hand groped her again and she tried to clamp her thighs together. _

_"Relax Nadia. We're just going to have a little fun and then we'll bring you right back. Promise on my honor." Jesus smiled at her kissing her hand and then moving in to kiss her neck while she squirmed away and the others laughed when she cried out with him grabbing her breast. _

_"Stop it now!" Nadia cried pushing him away and trying to free herself from their grasps. "Get off me! Let me go!" She tried to reach over Antonio for the door handle ready to throw herself out of the moving vehicle and they all laughed hitting the internal locks and pulling her back roughly at her escape attempt. _

_"Why are you trying to fight us so? We're not hurting you? We just want a little taste of the body you've been teasing us with all day." Jesus laughed at her while pulling her skirt up slowly exposing her thighs. _

_"Let me go! Please just let me go!" She begged realizing she was in serious trouble and her head felt heavy with the liquor fog making her limbs slow to react. _

_"We will…just relax." Juan purred into her ear with his hand sweeping under her shirt to grasp at her other breast and gyrated up against her with a groan feeling his bulge rubbing against her ass through her thin skirt. _

_"See, we're here. We'll just go up, listen to some music and have a few drinks and then we'll go back to the club." Miguel smiled at her again taking another drink and passing it to Carlos who just parked the car haphazardly against the street curb near the corner bar with loud music. _

_"I want to go back now! Please take me back!" Nadia cried begging them as they pulled her from the car and she fought to get away from them. Juan was pulling her towards the door with the other four forming a wall with their bodies and laughter to keep the bar patrons from seeing too much of her struggle. _

_"Oh Juan you have a feisty one there!" They laughed loudly as if to suggest to anyone watching or hearing that it was a lover's quarrel. _

_As soon as they had her into the small stairway Juan picked her up over throwing her over his shoulder and carried her up the stairs with the others behind him for support while she tried to flail against him. _

_"Fucking puta stop it!" Juan yelled at her through his drunken laughter when Nadia was able to slap him trying to get away when they were inside the apartment. _

_Antonio immediately went to the stereo to turn the music up loudly and took a swig from his own bottle of liquor. _

_"Let me go!" Nadia screamed and lunged towards the door breaking free for a moment before Juan and Carlos both caught her. _

_"Nadia you're not playing by the rules here." Carlos laughed breathing his alcohol-sweetened breath against her face. "We just want to have some fun. Come on don't be such a puta." He thrust himself against her leg rubbing his straining cock against her thigh where they had her pinned against the door._

_"I'm first." Juan rapidly moved to undo his pants with an evil grin kissing with his languid tongue against the other side of Nadia's neck. _

_"Why do you get the first ride?" Carlos thrust against her again and she cried trying to pull away from them but was held more tightly by the arms and their pinning bodies. _

_"Because I've had the fucking puta wiggling against my cock with her sweet little ass the whole way here and I'm about ready to burst you mother fucker." He laughed freeing his cock and grabbing Nadia's ass with his hand roughly, "You hold her for me and I'll hold her for you brother." _

_Nadia started screaming but the sound was lost as she fought against them in the roar of the music with the others cheering Juan on while Carlos helped to hold her still. _

_"No!" Nadia cried trying to pound against the door but they held to her tightly and screamed when she felt him tear her underwear from her body before wrapping his arm around her and roughly sliding his fingers through her folds and thrusting up into her quickly with one finger before pulling it out and replacing it with his cock in a single vicious thrust. He groaned loudly in pleasure with a smile while they whistled and cheered and Nadia couldn't breathe with the invasion she wasn't prepared for filling her completely. _

_"Oh, Mio Dios! She's fucking tight!" He groaned holding her from behind and with his hands to her hips while Carlos held her arms and shoulders against the door. He pulled out and thrust back with the same loud groan feeling her muscles clenching against the invader. _

_"Don't you fucking cum inside her you puta!" Carlos laughed at him seeing his friend close to losing it, "I want to taste her Imperial pussy and I don't want her sweetness tainted with your cum." _

_"I thought you liked the taste of his cum?" Jesus teased him opening a new bottle while rubbing his own member through his pants watching the look on Nadia's face as she'd gone almost completely still with mouth slightly open and ceasing to breathe in shock instantly this was happening. "I know the two of you like to blow each other." _

_"Fuck off you puta!" Came ringing out in tandem from Carlos and Juan making them all laugh and Juan thrust up hard again biting his lip close to his ecstasy. "Fuck your cunt is fantastico!" _

_"Don't you fucking cum in her!" Carlos pushed him aside laughing hard with the others when Juan almost tripped on his pants around his ankle's stumbling back with a hiss as his inflamed member left her heat. He grabbed Nadia roughly and threw her back hard onto the table holding her down by her arm and screaming at the others, "Hold her down for me." He laughed when she fought against him, "She's a strong puta!" _

_Antonio and Jesus immediately jumped forward with each guy holding her down with one hand to her outstretched arm and then forced her legs open and down pulling her skirt up and exposing her crux to them for the first time making them laugh and whistle while Carlos slid his hands up her body and then tore her shirt off with them cheering loudly. His fingers grabbed roughly against her breast through the thin lace and satin fabric covering them while Nadia screamed and cried still trying to fight them. _

_His face was immediately at the juncture of her legs and Nadia screamed feeling his mouth latch onto her center with tongue laving between her folds and teeth nipping at her bud mercilessly. Carlos hands continued to grope her breasts and Juan standing off to the side continued to stroke his cock roughly grunting as he watched. _

_Nadia cried when her body betrayed her against his torture and heard him groan and probe her with his tongue at tasting the rush in juices her body involuntarily flooded against his face, "See Nadia you are having fun!" He laughed licking it up suggestively while holding her gaze. "You're fucking sweet!" He moaned with a laugh while she cried and fought continuously. _

_"I want to fucking taste!" Juan pushed Carlos aside again and Carlos pushed him back._

_"I wasn't finished you fucking puta madre!" Carlos glared at him trying to get back to his position. _

_"Just let me fucking taste her and get off and you can fuck her after!" Juan spit back fighting for position with one hand still pumping his cock. His mouth seared into her crux burying his lower face and making the others laugh hysterically in their drunken fog when he groaned immediately and jerked in his pumping shooting his wad rapidly at his first taste of Nadia into the dirty carpet beneath the table before Carlos pushed him away again laughing when Juan fell over with cock still pulsating. _

_Carlos dropped his pants and forced his shaft down with a devilish laugh sliding his hand over Nadia's rippling stomach muscles pulsating as she tried to sit up and get away from them, screaming and crying seeing him coming at her with his weapon. His fingers slid through her scent that was rapidly drying out and grabbed her hips pulling her more towards him while the others helped to keep her legs spread all the way out and held down and he plunged inside her, pulling out to watch his cock slid out of her body and then laughed watching as he pushed back in filling her up again and making her scream and squirm._

_Like the other drunken one before him he knew he wouldn't last long in her tight coveted heat that he'd been lusting for all day and pressed her thighs down even further spreading her crux wider and pounded mercilessly._

_"Don't you fucking cum in her either puta!" Jesus warned seeing Carlos face contorting, "I want to taste of her Imperial honey without your dick seed in it." He let go of her arm to punch Carlos playfully but hard in the chest as a warning with a laugh and Nadia surged up with her arm free trying to get away only to be slammed roughly back down again. _

_"Hurry the fuck up or I'm going to bust a nut standing here!" Antonio was more turned on by her trying to fight them off and watching his friend before him getting a piece of the gorgeous Duchess. _

_"You're done puta madre!" Jesus pushed Carlos back just before the man came and they all burst into laughter with Carlos swearing when he shot his wad just seconds after leaving her heat and it sprayed against his shirt when his cock flapped back rigid against his abdomen. _

_Jesus grabbed Nadia from the table with her struggling against him and brought her back with him crashing to the couch while he tried to free his own cock from his pants and Juan and Miguel sat on each side of him to help hold her there. Juan had gotten himself back together while Antonio and Jesus were both rapidly undoing their pants with Nadia screaming seeing the open balcony windows behind her for help though her pleas were lost in the loud thundering music. She was fighting to stay conscious as the alcohol set in and in that moment her head was whipped back with the bottle of tequila being dumped down her throat while she choked and sputter as Miguel laughed tipping the bottle and fisting his hand into her long hair._

_"See Nadia, this is fun." Carlos laughed pulling his own pants back up and ripping the bottle away from her lips and out of Miguel's hand to have his own drink. _

_"No!" Nadia screamed at him and then at seeing Antonio stepping in front of her with his own raging hard on dripping with pre-cum. _

_"I want to see a princess on my cock," He laughed grabbing her head with hand fisting into her hair and bringing her towards him as she screamed and then clamped her mouth shut trying to turn away from him when his intentions were very clear and he laughed seeing her eyes slam shut and he yanked her hair. _

_"I know how to make the puta open her mouth." Juan nodded from where he was holding her leg open and removed one hand to pinch Nadia's nose closed while laughing and cutting off her oxygen if she wouldn't open her mouth. "Open your mouth bitch and suck him dry!" He screamed at her though Nadia fought it until she finally gasped in a breath through clenched teeth still refusing to open her jaw. _

_"Force her jaw down." Jesus instructed Antonio growing impatient for his own chance to be buried in her heat feeling it so close to his own. "Hurry the fuck up!" He yelled and then laughed grabbing Nadia's breasts roughly and squeezing them while twisting her nipples. _

_Antonio grasped her lower jaw and forcefully pried it down and open while yanking back on her hair and twisting her head to the side slightly while Nadia screamed and cried and then gagged with blinding tears when he stuffed himself completely down her throat burying his length inside her while keeping her jaws pried open as he thrust in and out of her mouth rapidly while they cheered and she choked unable to breath with his cock slamming down her throat relentlessly until she blacked out and felt him jerk hard into her and spill his seed down the back of her throat groaning loudly while they laughed. _

_"My turn!" Jesus yanked her back with a drunken smile and laugh with Antonio's deflating shaft sliding out of her throat and allowing her to breath once more. She was struggling with consciousness when she felt the first pair of fingers jam up inside of her eliciting another ear piercing scream of pain as she was completely dry and raw from being ravaged and then the second set when Miguel joined Juan in penetrating her core with his fingers. "Hold the fuck still!" Jesus laughed at her squirming form when she fought back with summoning strength as she tried to align his cock. _

_They heard the loud pounding on the door in the next room and Carlos smiled, "I wonder who it is?" He laughed with his drunken smile and while Antonio zipped up his pants and went to the door. _

_"It's the sister!" He yelled back into the other room and Nadia felt a surge of hope shoot through her. _

_"Lena!" She screamed struggling against those holding her down with pleading eyes and tears staring into the other room unable to see her sister for a moment before Lena charged into the room and was immediately grabbed from behind by Carlos and Antonio. "Lena!" Nadia screamed seeing her sister being attacked and trying to escape the men holding her down and trying to rape her again though her mind felt like she was swimming through hazy fog. _

_She watched as Lena down the two men and Juan and Miguel quickly pulled their fingers from inside her and leapt off the couch to attack Lena._

_Nadia was screaming and fighting hard against Jesus still holding her on the couch and flailed against him watching as Lena down Miguel and Juan with a spinning kick just as Carlos and Antonio were coming at her again. She felt the pressure on her arm when Jesus wrenched it behind her back and then screamed when she felt it crack under the force when he threw her face down into the sofa where she bounced slightly screaming, "Lena!" She cried, "Help me!" _

_Jesus thrust his fingers into her heat and she screamed in pain fighting against him and felt her arm fully break and the bones push through her muscles. She clamped her legs together to stop his hand that felt like fire pushing into her dry irritated core and cried. _

_"Open your legs you fucking cunt!" Jesus screamed at her trying to wedge his body in and she clamped her legs harder. _

_She didn't see the fist coming at her through her peripheral vision with face turned to the side only heard the scream of her name by Lena a second before she felt the crushing blow against the side of her face that made her see stars. She lay in a numbed daze until she heard Lena screaming her name again and felt his hands on her hips pulling her up onto her bent knees to arch her body for him to enter and she squeezed her legs together as hard as she could._

"He screamed at me again laughing and then I heard Lena scream my name again and then nothing…I don't remember after that." Nadia's face contorted into a held back sob as she finished having been staring at the wooden ledge in front of her in the witness stand blocking everyone else out going into her mind having repeated aloud as she relived what happened to her and fell into shock once more with raging rivers of tears streaming down her face still staring into space while many sobbed in the courtroom, mostly her family who had never heard it before. When Nadia told them she would testify she said she would only be able to say what happened once and that was it and only because she had to.

Irina had her hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs while rubbing furiously over the back of Jack's hand with the other. The horror of what Nadia went through was even worse than she could have imagined for her daughter and caused her own mind to flash rapidly through similar events while in prison and they could all now, understand why Nadia's mind had tried to it close off and protect her from remembering these events and why she went temporarily insane for those moments when it all came flooding back to her.

"She doesn't remember after that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury," The lawyer addressed the jury box while another lawyer on the prosecution team members put massive blown up photos of Nadia's unconscious and bloody form lying on the couch on display for everyone in the courtroom to see and all of the those charged gulped visibly with two having tears blurring in their eyes with guilt and remorse, Antonio and Miguel while the other three fought desperately to keep their tears in check. Knowing now it was too late to take back their drunken debauchery though they greatly wished they could, facing Life Sentences in prison. "Because she was viciously knocked unconscious by the defendant Jesus Rivera who was wearing these gold rings at the time." He held up the clear plastic bag containing the four rings of gold Jesus had been wearing that night, still stained with Nadia's blood and all eyes shifted from the rings, to Nadia sobbing silently refusing to look at anyone but the ground and then to the man in the wheel chair who had worn the rings who was refusing to look at anyone as well.

"Because Nadia was fighting back…fighting back trying to stop him from raping her as the other's had before him." The man had tears in his own eyes and swallowed hard staring at the jury whom most had visible tears tracking down their cheeks.

The head lawyer for the defense team was a hot shot lawyer from New York whom was notoriously famous for representing the obviously guilty and getting them off by less then ethical methods, his favorite was to shred the victims and discredit their characters and make it look as though they brought it on themselves. Nadia was already shaking from having to retell the traumatic story and now trembled further as the intimidating man approached.

"Isn't it true, Grand Duchess Nadia, that you had been quite playful and flirting with all five boys that day prior on the beach and made yourself appear to be interested in not one but all five of them at the same time?" Was the first question out of his evil mouth and Jack hissed 'bastard' under his breath with fist clenching.

"We were just having fun-" Nadia shook her head that he was already construing what happened.

"And isn't it also true that you were dancing suggestively with them all leading them on just an hour before the alleged events took place?" He had cut her off with his rising voice and glare.

"It was Salsa…we were just dancing like everyone else!" Nadia cried thinking about the dancing that was very physical and typical of Cuba that was very suggestive and everyone knew it as it was the style.

"That you left with them willingly as part of a plan to be alone with them after ditching your bodyguard, isn't that true?" He attacked her under rapid fire.

"No!" She shook her head forcefully with blinding tears.

"And that you willfully had sex with each of them?" He commanded back at her getting in her face.

"No!" She cried out rapidly in this rapid-fire assault.

"And only claim it was forced now, in your own embarrassment at being caught?"

"No!" Nadia screamed back at him through raging tears. "No!"

"That your sister walked in and you cried rape acting as though you were being forced when in fact you had told them you liked it rough and were enjoying it?" He yelled in her face. "That your game was going just fine until your sister interrupted and it was then that she struck two of the defendants starting a brawl and you then started striking the other three and Jesus hit you to subdue for his own protection? That the other four fought against your sister who was using unnecessary force against them in their own protection? Before she almost killed them all and then sent Jesus flying out of a second story window!" He bashed her rapidly.

_"No! No! No!"_ Nadia cried with tormented upset, _"They were raping me!"_ And most of the men in their section made a move to jump up and attack the man only to be held back down by those around them.

"Objection! Your Honor, badgering the witness!" The prosecution jumped up as chaos began breaking out with Nadia sobbing under attack and the gallery getting upset as well.

"Order! Order in this court room!" She banged her gavel until silence began falling again, "Sustained! You will ask direct questions and wait for the answers, understood?" The woman looked harshly over at the defense lawyer with Nadia sobbing beside her on the witness stand.

"Yes, your honor," He nodded at her though confident he'd gotten his point across, "Is it or is it not true, Your Highness," He addressed her formally with mocking intentions knowing that the prosecution was trying to make her more 'human' and deserving of compassion by addressing by her first name, making her on the juries level while he was trying to allude to the fact that 'she' was 'above' them some how with her title. "That prior to this occasion here in Havana that you were quite prone to having one night stands with various men in St. Petersburg, your home country?" He asked with a smug look on his face while Nadia's eyes widened.

"Objection! Your honor what is the relevance in this line of questioning?" Nadia's lawyer immediately jumped up.

"Counselor?" The judge looked at the defense lawyer with slanted eyebrows.

"Trying to establish a pattern in showing the Grand Duchess's sexual history that reveals her blasé and free spirited attitude towards sexual intercourse, Your Honor, that would support my clients claim that it was mutual and not forced."

"I'll allow it." The judge nodded and Nadia bit back a sob while several members of her family softly cursed and both Nikolas, Irina and Lena all swallowed hard at what could be revealed and what he was about to learn that he didn't know of before. "The witness will answer the question."

"No, I was not." Nadia answered quietly shaking her head.

"I'll remind the witness that you are under sworn oath to tell the truth or commit perjury. I repeat, were you or were you not prone to having one night stands with several different men in St. Petersburg prior to this incident?" He badgered her further.

"No, I was not. The men I had sexual relationships with before this were men I knew, it was mutual and not forced and were not one night stands with any of them." She cried that he was trying to make her look like the whore she already felt like now tainted by these five men's filth before her.

"But the basis of those relationships was sex? Were they not?"

"Yes." Nadia answered softly with held back tears and sobs hating herself that this was coming out and eyes flashing away from Nikolas's in shame not wanting to see the disgust that was most likely there now and she was waiting for him to leave at any second.

"How many different men were you carrying on sexual relationships with at one time, Your Highness?"

"Objection! Badgering and relevance, Your Honor! " Nadia's lawyer was beyond pissed, "The last time I checked it was not illegal to have sex that was mutually agreed upon!"

"Agreed and that is why I'm trying to show the relevance that the witness mutually agreed to the sexual intercourse with my clients and that she has a pattern of agreeing to have sexual intercourse without sustaining meaningful relationships with multiple men at one time!" The defense shot back with a smug smile getting that information out there and then, "The defense withdraws the question." But the damage was already done in his eyes while he took his seat. He'd made Nadia out to look like she was slut who routinely slept with several men for sex at a time upon just meeting them.

"Your Honor I'd like permission to re-direct?" Nadia's lawyer quickly jumped at the chance to do damage control seeing how the bastard was twisting it.

"I'll allow it." The judge nodded.

"Nadia, how many men have you had sex with at one time, in one setting, in one place?" He hated asking this question but he needed her to answer for everyone.

"One." She answered trying to hold back a sob more then humiliated already and he held her eyes keeping her focus as if they were the only two in the room.

"And how many separate men have you had sexual relationships with in your life?"

"Four."

"And were all sexual encounters consensual on your part?"

"Yes."

"You agreed to having sex with each of those four men?"

"Yes."

"You were not forced?"

"No, I was not forced by them. They never forced themselves upon me."

"Did you agree to have sex with the five defendants before the court today?" He motioned towards the table of the defense where her attackers sat bookend by their lawyers.

"No…I did not." She gasped in a strangled breath eyes flashing over them briefly with raging tears and then diverted away.

"Did they force themselves upon you?"

"Yes." She cried with a visible violent tremble running through her.

"Did they forcefully hold you against your will while they committed these acts against you?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell them to stop?"

"Yes…many times! I begged them to stop! To let me go!" She sobbed.

"But they kept going didn't they?"

"Yes. I fought them but there were too many." She inhaled a shaking sob with the raining tears stinging her face and the abrasions there from whacking herself with her cast two days ago upon remembering.

"Thank you." He nodded at her softly with a soft smile knowing that wasn't easy. "I'm finished with the witness." He took his seat as the defense lawyer jumped up.

"Permission to re-direct." He asked the judge and Nadia's heart threatened to explode fearing the man walking towards her.

"You say you fought them but there were too many and yet your pregnant sister was able to take them all down by herself? Why weren't you able to do the same? You're an Olympian, too and we all saw at the games how strong you are and able to compete even with the same broken arm?" He waved towards her cast-covered arm, "Or was it because you were willing to have sex with them? And you were just caught and embarrassed so you cried rape when your sister interrupted?"

"Objection, Your Honor!" Nadia's lawyer flew up from his seat with glaring eyes as Nadia sobbed shaking her head and wailing 'No' over and over.

"I withdraw the question." The defense lawyer immediately backed off wearing a smug smile once more at planting seeds of doubt with insinuations in questions he'd never let her answer. "Isn't it true, Your Highness that you only claimed to remember what happened the night in question just two short days ago?"

"Yes." Nadia answered softly. "I didn't remember until then."

"That's odd don't you think? That you would just suddenly remember the day before the trial began all this information and accusations against my clients?" The man was relentless.

"No, I don't think. My doctors told me that I didn't remember because of the trauma I sustained and that it came back to me being back here in the place it happened and seeing the images of myself in that apartment and on the sofa." She bit back a sob, "I would have been much happier never remembering."

"When did this sudden recovery of your memory occur?" He leaned on the witness stand panel with a patronizing tone.

"The night before last…the night I saw the images on the news…I went to sleep and I woke up in the hospital after it all came rushing back to me." Nadia answered scared of where he was taking this.

"And it just suddenly came to you?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"In a nightmare…but I don't remember it."

"You don't remembering having the nightmare?"

"No, only waking up in the hospital after. I was unresponsive at the time and they had to sedate me."

"Who sedated you?"

"My uncle Marcelo who is the Chief of Staff at the University Hospital in St. Petersburg."

"How did they know you were having this unresponsive nightmare and that they needed to come and sedate you?"

"Nikolas went to get my parents and they sent him to get my uncle."

"Nikolas who? Your brother?"

"No." Nadia gulped terrified of what the man had planned bringing Nikolas into this.

"This Nikolas?" The man walked back to the defense table retrieving a large photograph to put on display and when he turned it, was a picture of Nikolas carrying the unconscious Nadia through the press to the waiting limo to get her to the hospital. "Prince Nikolas Cassadine of Greece?" He pointed to Nikolas in the photo.

"Yes." She answered quietly and Nikolas swallowed hard from his seat terrified of how he was going to be used against Nadia as this was apparently this lawyers strategy to make her look like a whore.

"His posture in this photograph and the way he's holding you protectively seems to suggest that the two of you are close? Are you not?"

"Your Honor, relevance?" Her lawyer objected again in fear of what the man was doing to his client now.

"If the court will allow me to continue you'll see that it is a relevant line of questioning in this case." The defense attorney argued.

"I'll allow it but make your point quickly counselor as you're trying my patience." The judge motioned the man on.

"You are close with the Prince of Greece, Your Highness?"

"Yes, we are close." Nadia answered softly.

"This photograph shows him to be wearing only pajama pant bottoms and you still in your own pajamas? Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And he was the one you said went to alert your parents of your nightmare?"

"Yes."

"So it is safe to assume then that you two were sleeping together on that night? Were you not?"

"Objection! Your honor! Again I ask the relevance in this line of questioning?"

"If you've got a point make it now counselor!" She demanded of the defense lawyer.

"If the witness will answer the question?" He motioned towards Nadia whose eyes were saturated with unshed tears.

"Yes, we were sleeping together."

"Do you sleep together often or is he just another of the men in your rotation that you bed often? Do you have a mutual agreement about having sex with him too?" He asked rapidly with venom.

"Objection!" Nadia's lawyer jumped up having lost his patience some time ago with the man.

"It's a fair question your honor as the witness has confessed to having numerous relationships with men solely for sex on mutual agreements and the issue and answer once again goes to pattern with the witness's behavior." He waved once again to Nadia knowing that if she shut him down he'd still be making his point with the jury members in suggestion.

"Sustained. This line of questioning is over." The judge had been fed up as well. "If you badger the witness again I will hold you in contempt of this court." The judge pointed at the man sternly with her own menacing glare.

"Nothing else, Your Honor. The defense is finished with the witness at this time but we want to reserve the right to recall the Grand Duchess at a later time if need be." The man went behind his table again to take his seat and Jack had to fight the urge not to jump up and strangle the man while the judge dismissed Nadia who looked like she'd been shoved through a shredder.

"Counselor, call your next witness." The judge sighed with the long day far from over.

"The Prosecution calls _Her Imperial Highness Tsarevicha Lena Alix Irina Ivanova Romanova Bristowva, Grand Duchess of all Imperial Russia_ to the stand." The lawyer for their side stood again and stepped aside with a supportive nod to Lena as she stood and walked towards the witness stand and was sworn in.

"Can you state your name for the court please?" Her lawyer approached slowly.

"Lena Alix Irina Ivanova Romanova Bristowva." Lena answered rapidly and quietly tucking her hair behind her ear and looking thoroughly warn out before ever beginning what was bound to be brutal when the defense had their turn.

He had Lena go through her story of what she saw and did and everyone was sobbing again by the time she arrived at the part where Jesus knocked Nadia unconscious and had Nadia shaking with tremors holding her sister's gaze across the courtroom having never heard what happened to her after she went unconscious.

"He knocked her unconscious by punching her again in the face and then lifted her hips towards him again and this time…without her able to fight him…he thrust into her," She cried with face contorting slightly as she fought to hold back from sobbing and quickly looked down and away from Nadia and everyone else.

"What did you do then?" Her lawyer asked softly.

"All I could think of was getting to her and him off of her as fast as I could and they were in my way so I hit them with enough force to keep them from coming at me anymore and as they dropped to the ground I ran towards him…he was still assaulting her but saw me coming and pulled away trying to back up and I kicked him…and he flew out the window and was gone. I never meant for him to go out of the window…only get him away from my sister…I didn't know if she was alive or dead…there was so much blood and she wasn't moving!" Lena cried as the images of Nadia crashed violently through her mind and then eyes flashed over to the images blown up on isles off to the side of the room as evidence.

When it was the defense teams turn at her the man approached with a soft smile that was eerily unsettling, "Can you tell me what you're doing, Your Highness?" He asked pointing to a new blown up film from security footage taken at the back of the club on the portable wide-screen monitor. He handed her a pointer to be able to reach the photograph and Lena's eyes instantly filled with tears at seeing Antony's face and presence so clearly while they exited the club. He was moving, breathing…_alive._

She waited until they were all outside the club on the screen trying to rein in her emotions tearing her apart at seeing Antony on the screen alive and moving around with her mind scrambling through that night and flashing through their entire trip there and his making love to her just moments before this. "We realized that Nadia was gone and I knew where they might have taken her…so I took the bike and left to get her."

"You stole this bike by hotwiring, isn't that correct?"

"Yes. I had to get to her immediately and I returned the bike having paid for damages as well as compensation to the owners who never pressed charges."

"Yes, I know…but you still stole the bike, Your Highness. Lucky for you, you're from a wealthy royal family and have diplomatic immunity to avoid such charges like theft that common men would be imprisoned for."

"Objection! Badgering the witness!"

"Sustained. Counselor, I will not warn you again to stop badgering witnesses." The judge was highly irked with the arrogant attorney.

"Who are these people?" The man slowed the footage considerably back it up and then letting it play on a loop over and over where Antony was kissing Lena goodbye on the bike.

"This is my brother Nicholas and my nephew Jaxx and…" She hiccupped on a sob using the pointer moving it over Antony kissing her repeatedly 'goodbye', "Antony."

"And who is Antony?" The man asked having used this as a deliberate personal attack to wear her down and the tension in the room rose to astronomical levels with her family wanting to rip his head off while they struggled to hold back their own tears seeing the pain she was in and what this was doing to her so clearly before them.

"He was my boyfriend." Lena answered softly pawing at the tears on her face.

"Was? He just passed away in an accident in which you were involved correct?"

"Yes." She answered with a contorted face of a held back sob unable to tear her eyes away from the repeated clip of Antony' kissing her goodbye and her finger unconsciously traced across her lip with her hand held to her face in grief still able to feel his kiss.

"And you're pregnant here aren't you?" He pointed to her stomach on the screen though you couldn't tell from looking at her but that was not his point, he wanted to destroy her with the reminders.

"Yes." She sobbed with hand fisting now by her temple and into her hair trying desperately to hold back her cries though she looked like she was being crushed from the inside out.

"And you also lost your unborn baby boy in the accident as well didn't you?"

"What is he doing?" Nadia gasped in a horrified whisper instantly to her lawyer beside her filled with pain and terror to hear the evil man speaking to Lena about her most recent horrendously painful tragedies and fearing for what he was going to do to her.

"Yes." Lena sobbed unable to hold it back and gasping with hand going over her eyes and looking sharply away with internal sobs held back wracking her body and making her shake to see his little form so perfect drift through her mind.

"I'm sorry for your losses, Your Highness," He nodded at her with anything but genuine sympathy and forged on while she was beat and down, "But you were not married or even engaged to this man you were having a child with, were you, Tsarevicha?"

"Objection! What the hell is the relevance of that?" Their lawyer flew angrily from his seat while Jack shook with rage and blinding hot tears at this attack on his child.

"I'm trying to establish a pattern that these sisters have an inherit nature," His eyes flashed back to Irina momentarily, "For casual sexual relationships with men, that in this case, through one of these casual sexual relationships with this man Antony resulted in pregnancy to the unmarried, future Tsar of Imperial Russia who apparently has no morals like her sister."

_"You bastard!"_ Nicholas jumped up in rage to defend his sisters and mother whom the man was also insulting as the courtroom burst into chaos once more with Lena now sobbing on the witness stand and Jack and every other man in their family with Irina and Katya too, jumping up just behind him ready to kill the man.

"I warned you Counselor and I find you in contempt of this court! You blatantly time and again ignore the rules and I will not stand for that in my courtroom! You may be able to pull those stunts in courtrooms of your country but you will not here! Bailiff, escort him out!" She had jumped up with Nicholas with her own waves of rage and pointed the man out of her sight.

"Ask for a recess!" Irina demanded to their team of lawyers amidst the shouting seeing Lena shaking violently on the stand with eyes glued to the repeating image of Antony kissing her and face held in a constant silent scream, she wanted nothing more then to run to her daughter and pull her away from this, both of them as Nadia was sobbing hysterically at the table in front of her as well.

"Your Honor, may be we request a recess please?" The lawyer shouted over the noise to the judge nodding towards Lena who was clearly distraught over the horrid attack.

"Granted. We'll recess until tomorrow morning at 8 AM." She banged her gavel and set it aside and then quickly placed her hand on the back of Lena's shoulders with great concern in her eyes seeing the young woman so violently shaken by the ruthless lawyers attack on her recent tragedy of the loss of her child and significant other. She had no time to ask if Lena was okay before Irina had bolted from behind the separation wall and to the stand engulfing Lena into her arms and holding her tightly and then the primal cry that had been silent escaped from Lena's being.

"Will you turn it off, please?" Irina begged of the judge knowing her daughter's eyes were still glued to the image of Antony kissing her over and over and thinking about him and the baby.

The judge scrambled quickly for her own remote on her bench and turned it off with a look of remorse for not kicking the man out of her court sooner. "You may use my chambers if you want." She offered to Irina knowing they weren't likely to leave the courthouse any time soon with Lena being so upset and Nadia.

"Thank you." Irina nodded thinking that would be a good idea to have some privacy and looked over to Jack holding tightly to Nadia motioning him to bring her and follow.

"Well that went well…" Nadia cried sarcastically, "They made Lena and I look like whores asking for it. I'm so sorry, Lena, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to go through this for me." She sobbed the minute they were in the judge's chambers plopping down on the sofa and looking over at her sister beside her who was also ravaged with tears.

Lena flew forward and the two clung to each other while sobbing.

"No one in that courtroom believes that! It was just his asshole way of grabbing at straws to deflect from what his clients did knowing they don't have much of a case." Jack spoke watching as Irina closed around them, pulling them both back against her and holding them together.

"It was cruel and had no base in truth or reality…he's the one who doesn't have any morals." She spoke quietly with tears raining down her face kissing both of their heads. "You two are so strong and so brave to get up there…I love you so much."

"Nadia, I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you sooner…that you went through all of that because I let you out of my sight and let them take you! I'm sorry and I'll never be able to make it up to you for that." Lena sobbed pushing away her own pain for the moment knowing this was about her sister, that is why they were here, because of the horror she went through. "I'm so sorry!"

The images their minds conjured of what Nadia had described assaulted them all instantly of what hell she'd gone through they never knew about and all bit back a sob.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Lena!" Nadia sobbed in her own horror that her sister blamed herself for what happened, "You didn't do anything wrong and have nothing to make up for to me! You saved me Lena! You came for me! That's all I care about! Stop blaming yourself, please! I can't stand the thought of you taking any blame in what they did! Please, don't do it! You're my hero…you saved me and I love you so much…more then you'll ever know, Lena! I love you!" She sobbed again with cracking voice and they held each other even tighter with Lena releasing some of the guilt she felt hearing her sister's 'forgiveness.'

Jack had to smile softly at Nadia's ability to bounce back that was so much like her mother's and try to make everyone else feel better in spite of her own pain. His girls were taking care of each other and through their tragedies, separate and together that they shared, they were going to get through this, he knew, as they were so much like Irina in their own ways. She had been able to withstand so much in her life and though he was greatly saddened as he knew his wife was they were going through the same now, he was also relieved that if they had to go through so much, that they had inherited her strengths to get them through and had her as their pillar to lean against and guide them and hold them together.

"We're going to get through this." Irina whispered sniffling back her own tears with both girls leaning their heads against her chest, "Together we can do anything." She kissed both of their heads again and gave a soft tear filled smile to Jack knowing that was true as together, the both of them had done so.

**_*Dare You To Move*_**

Nadia hardly said a thing and was seemingly ignoring and pulling away from Nikolas in the hours after they left the courtroom. It was an exhaustingly taxing day for all but especially Nadia who had her life exposed and then ripped apart piece by piece. When they were getting ready for bed, she was brushing her hair in front of the mirror and stare at Nikolas as he finished brushing his teeth. His eyes caught hers' and for the first time since the morning, she held them.

"Why are you still here with me?" She asked quietly putting the brush down and looking at him through his reflection. "After all that…today…why are you still here? Is it because you promised you'd stay? And if it is, its okay I understand if you want nothing to do with me ever again and you owe me nothing…you can leave."

Nikolas felt his heart drop instantly looking at her and seeing the tears she was holding back, the worthless look of self-loathing that had started to go away in the weeks after his arrival was back with full force.

"Why would you think that I'd want to leave?" He asked wanting to hear her reasons for himself.

"To save yourself from being linked with me in any way after what you learned about me today…I never told you about the others before…and I'm sure you don't want to be associated and have your name drug through the mud for the likes of me. I'm tainted… by my own' doing and theirs' and I understand if you're disgusted and reviled by me now…never want to kiss me or touch me again. I wouldn't want to touch me either." She finished quietly looking away as the images of what they'd done to her flashed through her mind and she inhaled a sob, spinning to leave the space.

Nikolas had felt like he'd been punched in the gut to hear she thought herself so disgusting after remembering what was done to her that he wouldn't want to touch her. The fallout of today's lashing was severe.

"Why would you think that I'd never want to touch you? Or kiss you again?" He followed her walking up behind her and grabbing her arm gently to make her turn to look at him though she sloughed off his touch. "You're not tainted, Nadia…in any way…in fact hearing what they did to you only makes me want to hold you and kiss you that much more to show you how much you mean to me and that you're the most beautiful thing in my life. I'm appalled by what they did to you…someone so beautiful and amazing…that anyone could hurt you so much is soul crushing to me." His eyes glistened with tears.

"And what I've done to myself? Aren't you disgusted in me to hear that I have had purely sexual relationships with four guys already?" She looked at him with slanted eyebrows of disbelief that he should be looking at her with complete disgust instead of the tears she saw there now. "What he accused me of is true in a way. I might not have had one-night stands with them or mass orgies but it was strictly sexual when we got together. The first time I ever had sex was a year ago with a guy I just met, and not just any guy but the son of my mother's former lover, Dubey…" She saw his eyebrows shoot up slightly. "Yeah… Dubey Junior and the horrifying part is that I thought I was pregnant with his baby…" She watched him swallow hard, "After that, my one and only one-night stand of my first sexual encounter… and in explaining all this to my parents, they thought I was talking about his father… that his father, whom my mother had a strictly sexual relationship with for years, had gotten me pregnant and the thought actually made my mother so violently ill she threw up non-stop for at least a half hour in thinking the man she slept with got me pregnant…"

Nikolas didn't blink in surprise thinking about it and all that Nadia had already gone through in the last year with so much he didn't know and wondered now if what happened with that man and incident is why she was fighting so hard against their attraction in Greece.

"I did that to her." Nadia sobbed and tried to bite it back hoping to send him out the door with the next reveal as she knew she didn't deserve the empathy, concern and love she saw in his eyes looking at her, "And it that's not enough to horrify you…I'm sure this will. The other three guys I've had sexual relationships with were after returning from Greece…I'd just decided, 'fuck it! If guys just want me for my body and sex then I'll do the same with them and might as well make it mutual and use them as it was easier then investing what was left of my heart into anything potentially meaningful and having it broken again." She pushed past him not wanting to be so close to him with her disgusting self. "So there you have it. I've never made love in my life or had any kind of meaningful intimate relationship and after all these disgusting new revelations are made publicly known I'm sure that I never will as who would really want this tainted whore, right?" She pointed to her body that still bore the bruise handprints imprinted in her flesh, that were slow to fade. "I don't blame them…I don't blame you either…I was having a good time with them on the beach that day and then at the club, dancing and flirting and I suppose in retrospect I led them on and deserved what I got." She shrugged turning away and he immediately crossed the distance and pulled her to his chest holding her tightly to him.

**_*Stay*_**

"You didn't deserve what you got," Nikolas whispered in cry while she sobbed and tried to look away from him, pushing against him to free herself from his arms, "No one deserves that, no one and especially not you! You're not a whore, Nadia…you had sex with different men, so what? It doesn't make you dirty or tainted and what those bastards did to you did nothing to taint you! I don't look at you and see them even if their handprints are still in your skin…I only see _you_. The one I love…the one I want to hold and kiss…to be with. Just you." He cried resting his forehead against hers' when she dropped her head refusing to look at him while she cried. "And I'm sorry I broke your heart so badly and made you think in some way in Greece that I only wanted you for sex because as much as I was then and am now attracted to you…wanting to touch you and be with you…it was not about sex." His thumbs glided gently over her exposed flesh on her shoulders, "I didn't lie awake at night thinking about having sex with you, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about being with you at all… but whenever I did then and do now, its been making love to you…showing you how much you mean to me and wanting to be as close as possible with you. I fell in love with you…" His tears ran down his face hearing her cry and seeing her so upset and thinking about his involvement and fault to a degree in adding to her self loathing and hatred by what happened in Greece. "The you inside, Nadia…your smile and laugh, your sense of humor and witty remarks. Your intelligence, strength and fire…your passion for that which drives you…I wanted all of that, _all of you_. For as stunningly beautiful as you are on the outside…your inside is what causes the dull ache inside me when I'm not with you."

Nadia sobbed even more listening to him and feeling the love in his touch that burned her skin like fire.

"Your presence in my life is what I want…forever and always. I want you…I will always want you. I know that without a doubt." Nikolas spoke with determination to get through to her and give her his truth. "I want to hold you, and kiss you and be with you…make love to you the way you deserve. Nothing you could ever confess would make me love you less…I'm here, Nadia, I'm not going anywhere." He whispered with his heart pounding against hers' and then moved his face to brush hers' up against his own and captured her lips in a searing kiss.

His tongue sweeping through her mouth in staking its claim and telling her that he wanted her and wasn't afraid to touch her and Nadia whimpered with a sob, that after all this, he'd stayed. Still wanted her.

She deepened the kiss with her own need in wanting to be as close to him as possible, her beacon in the darkness that kept her from drowning and when his grip around her body lessened and freed her arms, she grasped the sides of his face and pulled him closer with pent up emotions and tension flowing through them in the waves of electricity passing between them. Her hands slid down his back while his own slid up hers' beneath the fabric of her shirt and over the indention of her lower spine ever so gently. He felt the immediate surge to his groin with the soft sound she made from his touch and arched her body into his and he moaned in response wanting her so badly but knowing he should stop this that she wasn't ready and this wasn't the time.

"Wait." Nikolas gasped pulling away slightly and stilling her hands on his waistband about to slid his pajama pants off. "This has nothing to do with me not wanting you… because I do, so badly want you." He cupped her face and holding her eyes with panting breaths, "But I think we should stop…you're not ready for this…not after today and all you've been through." He thumbed away her falling tears, "I don't want you to wake up beside me tomorrow regretting this."

"I won't." Nadia swallowed hard trying to make herself certain she would be though terrified not knowing if that was the truth.

"Maybe…but I don't want to take the chance of hurting you further or pushing too fast. I'm not going anywhere, Nadia… For as long as you'll let me, I want to stay. Don't ever think I don't want you…I do. I just don't want to hurt you…we'll both know when its right…tonight just isn't it." He gave her a small teary smile and kissed her lips softly and she cried knowing he was right and folded into his arms against his chest, holding on to one another.

* * *

_***With or Without You* **_

Irina knocked softly on Lena's door and when received no response walked quietly inside the darkened suite and saw her daughter standing by the open balcony doors staring out at the ocean and the moonlit path leading out across the sea disappearing into the darkness. Her eyes were glistening with building and falling tears as she stare into the nothingness, in another time and place. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around Lena pulling her into her chest and holding her tightly with her head tucked beneath her chin.

"Did I shame you? And Russia? My title? By getting pregnant when I wasn't married, Mama?" Lena asked in a quivering voice speaking into Irina's chest thinking about what the man had said.

_"No!"_ Irina answered immediately in a gasp with flooding tears, "Absolutely not! You could never shame me! Ever! I love you unconditionally and having a baby is not shameful! You did no such thing! Don't listen to him, Sweetheart. Your beautiful baby was conceived in great love just as you were and no one, no one," She repeated, "Thinks of you with shame or embarrassment. You're nothing but amazing and I am so proud that you are my daughter. Not for one second was I ever ashamed of you. I love you, Lena…I love you… and I loved Antony…and I loved my grandson. I will never be ashamed of them or you." She cried softly with her daughter who was sobbing softly and clinging to her now.

"I want them, Mama…just one more time I want Antony to hold me…one more time I want to hold my baby…just one more time." Lena cried with a pleading tone in almost a whisper with a raging pain that would not cease in her heart.

"You will again someday, Sweetheart. They're waiting for you." Irina answered her softly with her own blinding tears knowing the pain that accompanied those words as even though she knew Lena would, just as she knew that she would too hold her mother and son and grandson in her arms again someday…someday was a long way away and it did nothing to calm the ache inside for them now. "Come on, My Little Love…let's go to bed." She whispered against her ear and guided Lena over to her bed. Lena curled on her side staring out the open balcony and the glowing moon outside; her arms wrapped around her mother's who was spooned up behind her.

When they heard the soft click of the door, Irina smiled through her tears without turning her head, knowing who it was without looking. Jack couldn't sleep without her so soon after nearly losing her again in the river in his own fear and lifted her arm slightly when he slid in behind her, spooning up against her and kissing her neck as he settled in with arm wrapped protectively over her and Lena, and smiled sadly when he felt his daughter lift her arm to hold onto him as well.

They lay quietly like that for quite some time before hearing Lena cry softly and then, felt her turn under their arms and curl into Irina. Her face burying in under the crook of her mother's neck so closely to her chest she could see the beat of her mother's heart. Irina's tears returned feeling Lena's hot ones against her skin as her child nuzzled into her flesh and held Lena more tightly while she cried herself to sleep, with Jack and Irina doing the same holding onto her and one another.

* * *

_**"Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for extraordinary destiny." - C.S. Lewis**_

_**AN: Reason I keep posting this... not to sound trite about the horrendous tragedies they are enduring, but to give hope to my readers for the future. Irina's life thus far in the story is prime example of this very quote. She is who she is, because she sees the world in such a very different way than most...having been through what she's been through and what she has taken away from it. -Wild**_


	63. Chapter 63

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Am I Not Merciful **_**by Hans Zimmer from Gladiator Soundtrack**_**, Time **_**by Hans Zimmer from Inception Soundtrack**_**, Dark Paradise **_**by Lana Del Ray**_**, Rise **_**by Hans Zimmer from The Dark Knight Rises Soundtrack. **

* * *

SIXTY-THREE

o

_Havana, Cuba - Criminal Trial_

"The Defense calls Antonio Maderas to the stand." The second lawyer on their team had become the first after the other was thrown out in contempt and it was there turn at calling witnesses.

Antonio was the first up. He hobbled with cane and leg splint over his entire leg having had his knee shattered and several surgeries already in the last three months to repair damages as time healed more of them. His arm also remained in a sling from his elbow shattering and he took the witness stand refusing to look at anyone while sworn in as the first up of the defendants.

"Please, tell us in your own words what happened that night Antonio." The lawyer instructed.

Antonio was quiet a moment and then tears were noticeably dripping down his face when he looked up with scrunched face crying, "Everything happened exactly the way Nadia said."

Everyone gasped loudly with chaos breaking out again and his lawyer and the other defendants were alight with clear rage on their faces though Miguel had tears in his eyes as well and panic.

Antonio's eyes flashed to Nadia's, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…I wish I could take it back…I know I can't but I don't want to go to prison for the rest of my life!"

"_Stop! Be quiet! Objection!_ Your Honor! Hostile Witness!" The defense lawyer panicked and in the back of the courtroom a new lawyer entered walking to the front and taking a seat at the end of the defense table to the surprise of everyone else.

"He's your witness!" The judge leaned forward with her own surprised eyebrows at hearing the confession.

"Who are you?" The defense lawyer turned to look at the new man at their table and the man stood with legal papers.

"I'm the new legal representation for Antonio Maderas and Miguel Toro. Both boys are prepared to plead guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence, Your Honor." Another round of gasps was heard with more eyes flashing to Miguel as well.

"Counselors approach the bench." The judge demanded looking irritated.

"When did this change in legal representation take place and why wasn't I notified before the proceedings today? I don't like surprises." The judge asked the new lawyer whom the Defense lawyer in charge was glaring at.

"I was called in early this morning, Your Honor, by the boys families that they had discussed with their sons the actions they wanted to take and they were not congruent to the ones of the other three young men. They want to plead guilty and hope that their admissions will grant them lesser sentences of punishment. They know they did something irreconcilably wrong and can never take it back and know they should be punished but do not wish to pay with their entire lives being forfeited in a prison cell." The man handed her a stack of forms that she glanced through and then handed to the prosecution detailing confessions and a plea they were purposing.

"I'd have to discuss in plea with my clients before committing to any reduction in sentencing." The prosecution looked over to the man with surprised eyes knowing that they were already going to win the case but this would slam the door indefinitely shut and shorten the trial considerably.

"Understood," The man nodded having much calmer demeanor then the viper who was on attack yesterday, "Though both boys still wish to give their admissions of guilt regardless."

It was apparent to everyone that yesterdays proceedings and malicious attacks by their lawyers tactics had jarred the young men and their families knowing their fates were ceiled and decided to try honesty and beg for mercy to be shown where they deserved none.

"Any further questioning?" The judge asked the lead defense lawyer who had called the witness to the stand.

"None at this time." He shook his head looking like he'd been hit by a bus.

"I'd like to re-direct, Your Honor?" The prosecutor immediately jumped at the chance.

"Proceed." She motioned him to go ahead while the others took their seats.

"Antonio, you say that you agree with everything that Nadia described of the events that night? Is that true?"

"Yes." He nodded slightly.

"You admitting your guilt in the kidnapping, assault and rape of Nadia Bristow?"

"Yes." He answered with raging tears and everyone gasped again while his own mother sobbed burying her face in her hands.

"You are admitting your guilt in the assault on Lena Bristow?"

"Yes." He nodded again with eyes flashing to Lena, "I'm sorry." He added softly though it seemed quite lame considering what he'd done.

"Explain then, in your own words what happened that night."

"She didn't want to get in the car. I pulled her in the backseat. We held her in and locked the doors. I turned up the music in the apartment so no one would hear her screams for help…and I held her down while Carlos and Juan raped her first…held her on the table just as she said," He sobbed wiping at his tears, "When he moved her to the couch I grabbed her hair and forced her mouth open…and then I raped her." He sobbed loudly, "I'm so sorry," He stare at Nadia though she was shifting wildly in her seat holding in her own sobs and completely uncomfortable wanting to crawl out of her skin.

"You held her down to let others rape her and then they held her for you while you raped her orally? Is that correct?"

"Yes. " He answered and Nadia sobbed loudly turning away from him with hands covering her face in fists as she was assaulted by the images and Irina reached over the small wall again, pulling her in the wheeled chair back to her and holding her against her while Nadia sobbed softly. Irina's face stained with torrentially silent tears as her eyes bore into the young man's with rage.

"And when you were finished?"

"We heard the knock on the door and Carlos answered it. When Lena realized what was happening to Nadia she entered the apartment and Carlos looked at me quickly and then we both jumped her from behind."

"You attacked Lena Bristow from behind?"

"Yes."

"Before she ever swung at you? You attacked her?"

"Yes."

"And you kept attacking her until she rendered you unconscious is that correct?"

"Yes…I'm sorry." His tear filled eyes flashed to Lena who was absolutely still with rivers of tears falling from her eyes staring at him through a heated glare.

"Were you attacking her to prevent her from getting to her sister? Or were you attacking her to rape her as well?"

"Both." He answered quietly while his mother wailed again and everyone else gasped in horror.

"So you intended to rape her as well?" The prosecutor looked at him with disgust shaking his head.

"Yes…I was drunk…we had too much to drink and it got out of hand...I'm sorry." He cried again.

"Got out of hand?" The lawyer looked at him incredulously while turning sideways to point at Nadia, "You kidnapped and participated in the gang rape of one woman who was almost killed and then tried to do the same to another whom was pregnant," His pointing finger zoomed to Lena, "And your excuse is you had too much to drink and it got out of hand?"

"Yes, I know it's a horrible excuse but it's the truth…and I'm sorry and I wish I could take it back and I know I can't." He sobbed shaking his head.

"Many people get horribly intoxicated and most don't commit the crimes that you did!" The prosecutor condemned him.

* * *

**_*Am I Not Merciful*_**

"So what is the proposition?" Irina was rubbing her temples when the court took a recess after Antonio's testimony and she, Jack and the girls were now discussing with their legal team what had happened.

"They are asking that for their admission of guilt and if requested in testifying against the others, that you accept their offer of twenty-five years a piece in prison with no chance of parole and an additional five years of probation with counseling for sex offenders and alcoholics while in prison and for the remainder of their lives. It will keep them in prison until they are forty-two and forty-three."

The lawyer rolled his pen between his fingers and passed the documents to Jack and Irina. "Their confessions are both very clear in that they agree to everything that Nadia and Lena both reported as happening…they are also aware that you do not have to agree to any plea agreement and that with their admissions of guilt you can still ask for the maximum of a Life Sentence for which they qualify. They are begging for your mercy which I don't believe they deserve personally." He added softly, "But whatever you decide I will convey."

"I accept the twenty-five years down from a Life Sentence," Nadia spoke after a few minutes of silence as Jack and Irina read through the confessions and snapped their attention to her standing by the window with her arms hugged around her body, "With the conditions they suggested except that they be offered a chance for parole after twenty years…and if qualify then they have ten years instead of five on probation…and the others…offer the same to Juan and Carlos but thirty-years with parole available after twenty-five…Jesus forty-years with parole after thirty-five…I will show them more mercy then they showed me." She added quietly with silent tears streaming from her eyes still staring out the window.

Jack and Irina's eyes were wide and tear filled as were Lena's and the lawyer who looked at her parents to see if they agreed to her wishes and they both nodded softly as did Lena, agreeing to whatever her sister wanted being the one primarily attacked by their viciousness. "You're far more merciful then I, Grand Duchess…this is more then they deserve but I will present them with this offer if that is your wish?"

"It is." Nadia answered immediately but softly.

"Are you certain, Sweetheart?" Irina asked quietly standing and walking towards Nadia, tilting her chin up to look at her intensely in her big brown watery eyes.

"Yes, Mama…I don't want to take their lives. I just want them to pay a severe price as I have…severe enough not to take their entire lives away but to punish them for what they have done and hopefully will never be foolish enough to ever do again." She cried with her voice trailing off on the end into a sob and snuggling her face into her mother when Irina pulled her close to her chest immediately holding her tightly and kissing her head.

"Okay…I'll go make the offer." Their attorneys stood and left them alone.

Silence reined in the room with both girls leaning against Irina in the sofa as she gently stroked the hair over their ears waiting while Jack sat in the chair adjacent from them with his fingers slowly rubbing the space over his upper lip as he was lost in thought as they all were in thinking about everything that had happened.

Forty-two minutes according to the clock on the wall passed before their team of lawyers re-entered the room and sat before them.

"Antonio and Miguel accepted, astonished at your mercy," He added quietly with raised eyebrows, "Agreeing to give witness testimony for the prosecution against the others as the other three refused…foolishly believing as do their parents that if they stick together they'll get off sticking to their story that it was mutual." Nadia's face scrunched from the held back sob as she looked away, "You gave them an out, Your Highness…that's more then most in your position would have done."

"The Defense says it was a show of unnecessary force by a professional trained in destruction as an Olympian of Martial Arts. But wasn't it 'unnecessary force' they all used against the Nadia in attacking her, abducting her, and raping her against her will? Was it not unnecessary force they used against the Lena when she tried to stop them from assaulting Nadia; all of these five young men have sisters…sitting right there,"

Their lawyer pointed to the girls of various ages behind the defense table in the gallery during his closing arguments, "If they had walked in and saw their sisters being attacked and raped in the same way that Lena found Nadia…would they not then use 'necessary force' in stopping those who were harming her? They were showing no mercy to her sister so why should she, show mercy to them? And yet she did. Lena, as a highly trained Martial Arts master could have easily killed all of them and yet she didn't. She restrained her blows only trying to keep them down so she could get to her sister because she's not a vicious killer or attacker but they kept coming back for more."

He shook his head slowly, "They kept attacking her forcing her to protect herself and try to protect Nadia, her sister…and when Lena saw Jesus brutally hitting her sister, breaking open her face and causing her to bleed and then knocking her unconscious before raping and pillaging her…she snapped that restraint she was trying to keep and quickly brought them all down in forceful ways but only because she had to in order to get to her sister."

He was pacing slowly in front of the jury every so often with the images of the men Lena had taken down lying in their blood behind him that the Defense had shown.

"Still…she showed restraint in that she didn't kill them when she still could have in the ways they were attacking her…four men against one woman who was pregnant at the time…" Lena fisted her hand in front of her face as it contorted in an anguished sob she bit back slamming her eyes shut as the visions of her baby flashed before her and Nadia instantly curled her arm around Lena's face, pressing her forehead into Lena's temple crying silently with her in supporting each other after a brutal trial came to a close with the defense claiming innocence of the three who would not take the plea and instead had kept up their case of claiming it was mutual and attacking the girls for their reactions to gain what they hoped would be sympathy from their fellow countrymen and women of the jury.

"A woman trying to save her sister. She never intended to kick Jesus Rivera out the balcony windows …only get him off her sister and it was the man's momentum in falling backwards that carried him out the window."

He paused for a moment looking over the jury members and then spoke quietly, "Unnecessary force? How would you define the force used against someone who was raping your unconscious sister whom for all you knew…was dead because of the blows she suffered to her head? A sister whose body had been maimed and was bleeding out horrendously before your eyes while the man responsible viciously continued to thrust into her for his own pleasure in spite of the fact a fight was going on with his friends…he still wanted his 'prize' so badly that he kept ravaging her body even as they all fought around him. Intoxication is not a reason for what they have done but an excuse as well as to say it wasn't forced but just 'rough.' How can there be 'any' justification for this?"

He walked a step backwards pulling forth the most dramatic photograph blown up to massive size of Nadia on the sofa with arm viciously twisted behind her naked back, broken and face covered in bright red blood and then beside it, revealing the never before seen series of photographs taken as evidence in the weeks after as her bruises settled in over her body and the black hand prints where they'd grabbed her were quite visible against Nadia's naked flesh completely exposed except for the small area her underwear covered. Her family who had never seen the markings as she hid them from them all with her clothing, were aghast with what they saw and all gasped with fresh tears understanding now, why she'd only let Irina and her doctors see her.

"Nadia…" He walked over to the prosecution table beside him and held his hand out to her with a gentle nod and she bit back a sob as she accepted his hand and he led her the few feet to stand before the jury, "How can there be any justification for a brutality that 'still' three months later, marks her body…"

He spoke with tears finally falling from his own eyes nodding softly at Nadia who slowly pulled her black skirt up a few inches to mid-thigh exposing the lingering deep bruises in clear hand and fingers prints with many gasping and new flooding tears as he had her turn in a slow circle to show all sides of her legs before nodding at her gently.

"Lena and Nadia are not on trial here as the defense has often tried to make it seem in order to distract from the blatant crimes committed against them. Two of the five accused have come forward admitting their guilt in the horrendous actions taken against Nadia as their conscience could no longer deny the cold hard truth and begged for her mercy which she granted them more then I personally believe they deserve for what they did to her. These five boys kidnapped Nadia, held her against her will and then proceeded to rape her in every way imaginable…one after another and at times in tandem and all together…with unrestrained viciousness and when she fought back, they broke her arm so severely the bones nearly came through her skin and knocked her unconscious almost killing her so she would be limp and easier to rape."

He let the last statement linger a bit with Nadia silently sobbing beside him looking at the ground instead of the jury members just a few feet in front of her with the enormous photographs behind her, "The prosecution rests, Your Honor." He looked at the judge with a soft nod and then lead Nadia back to her chair where she strangled the sobs inside her with the other female lawyer holding her hand and nodding with a soft supportive smile, Lena clutching the other and Irina immediately leaning over the small separation wall again to put her arms around Nadia in the chair in front of her and whisper softly into her ear in Russian that only they could hear with Nadia sobbing softly trying to hold it back and take comfort with what her mother was saying.

The rolling waves of hatred coming from the men in their family as they stare across the courtroom at the boys, now sitting at two separate tables, wasn't hard to miss when their eyes flashed between Irina trying to console Nadia quietly with Lena to the five at the defense tables.

* * *

The jury deliberated for only an hour before returning with a verdict.

"We the jury, find the defendant Antonio Maderas guilty of the charge of Sexual Assault by Rape in the First Degree, guilty of Kidnapping and guilty of Battery and Sexual Battery. We the jury, find the defendant Miguel Toro guilty of the charge of Sexual Assault by Rape in the First Degree, guilty of Kidnapping and guilty of Battery and Sexual Battery. We the jury, find the defendant Juan Sanchez guilty of the charge of Sexual Assault by Rape in the First Degree, guilty of Kidnapping and guilty of Battery and Sexual Battery. We the jury, find Carlos Castro guilty of the charge of Sexual Assault by Rape in the First Degree, guilty of Kidnapping and guilty of Battery and Sexual Battery. We the jury, find Jesus Rivera guilty of the charge of Sexual Assault by Rape in the First Degree, of Kidnapping, guilty of Aggravated Battery, guilty of Aggravated Sexual Battery and guilty of Attempted Involuntary Manslaughter in the First Degree." The juror finished while the families of the accused sobbed in horror while the others' sobbed in relief for the straight guilty verdicts on all charges.

"The jury has also deemed sentencing at this time, is that correct?" The judge asked the lead juror.

"Yes, Your Honor we have." He answered immediately and the families of the guilty gasped holding their breath as he handed the sentences to the judge to read.

"Will the defendants please rise if able to do so?" The judge looked at the row of guilty with Jesus still being in a wheel chair from his fall.

"Antonio Maderas and Miguel Toro in accordance to your plea agreements with the plaintiffs you are sentenced to twenty-five years of prison with eligibility for parole after twenty years as well as participating in mandatory sexual offenders rehabilitation counseling and alcohol abuse programs during your prison stay and for the remainder of your lives. Upon your release you will be on probation for a term of five or ten years depending upon the date of your release. Juan Sanchez and Carlos Castro you are sentenced to the maximum Life in Prison under the Cuban Criminal Law,"

Their parents burst into instant sobs of horror while the judge only paused momentarily, "With a chance for parole eligibility after thirty years as well as participating in mandatory sexual offenders rehabilitation counseling and alcohol abuse programs during your prison stay and for the remainder of your life."

She took a breath and turned her attention to the last and most volatile for almost killing Nadia, "Jesus Rivera you are sentenced to the maximum Life in Prison under the Cuban Criminal Law with a chance for parole eligibility after forty years as well as participating in mandatory sexual offenders rehabilitation counseling and alcohol abuse programs during your prison stay and for the remainder of your life. All of you will be held in the Havana public jail until tomorrow noon before being transferred to the State's maximum security facility for convicted felons outside Havana where you will spend the remainder of your sentences as your time already served awaiting trial will be noted as time served."

She paused and took a breath leaning forward and putting down the sentencing sheet,

"In closing I would like to say that I am pleased with the jury's verdict and sentencing as I have personally never seen a rape crime so heinous in all my years as a lawyer and serving on the bench." Her disgust was clearly evident as she stare them down individually,"What the five of you did to Nadia has haunted me since this trial began and I'm sure will stay with me for the remainder of my life to some extent as I am certain it will stay with her and her family and everyone in this courtroom including you."Her voice was dripping with venom, "Senor Maderas and Senor Toro, I will commend you for admitting your guilt and confessing your crimes though I hold you in contempt and am disgusted with your actions in committing the crimes in the first place. Because of your courage to come forward and admit your guilt for whatever your reasons, Nadia showed you more mercy then you deserved in my book and she is a far better person then I will ever be by being able to show such compassion for those who showed her none at all." She motioned towards the enormous photographs of Nadia still on display before the court.

"Senors Sanchez, Castro and Rivera…I'm so disgusted with the three of you I can hardly find the words or stand to look at you right now. Senor Rivera, I hope that you live out your sentence of Life in Prison behind bars for what you did and I have no compassion at all for a man who violently breaks the arm of a woman holding her down while she fights for her life and then repeatedly beats her almost to death and unconscious so that he can continue to rape her lifeless body. You should consider yourself incredibly lucky that you did not kill her in your vicious attack or you would have been receiving the same sentence of death today in this courtroom for murder. If you do receive parole in forty years and are released at the age I am now of fifty-eight, I hope you do something with the life that you have left and remember each day that you still have half of one to live, though you do not deserve it. I hope that all of you upon your potential releases from prison remember that. This is the result of the choice you all made. Choose better in your futures." She paused a moment to glare at him and then the rest of them before turning to Lena and her tone and face softening considerably,

"Tsarevicha Lena, I commend your courage in taking on five men to save your sister and your restraint in not doing more harm considering the facts of the case in defending yourself and her. Should everyone be so lucky, as to have you for their sister." She gave her a soft smile, "Your courage on the stand is even more commendable considering the recent tragedies you suffered in the loss of your significant other, Antony and the loss of your child."

She spoke softly with tears in her eyes looking only at Lena who was completely still though sobbing internally with flooding tears the only sign of the violent storm within, "For that you have my sincere condolences on your loss and my personal apologies for the badgering you received in my courtroom over your personal tragedy. I hope that your heart finds solace in the days to come and knowing from experience with my own loss of a child, that will only come with time." She gave her a small smile with a soft nod ignoring the tear that escaped from her eye before turning to Nadia.

"Grand Duchess Nadia, what you have gone through no person should ever have to bear and I am humbled by your bravery and courage to take the stand and recount the tragic events that happened to you. During this trial your character was attacked trying to expose weakness in you… but there is none." She added spoken with conviction and raised eyebrows that it was a fact and not her opinion.

"You have an undeniable inner strength inside you that has been shown over and over again many times in your life and especially over the past year through your triumphs and your tragedies. You are a remarkable young woman with the heart of a lion and the inner strength of a bear."

She gave her a soft teary smile while Nadia cried, "Your mercy for those who attacked you and violated you so cruelly only goes to show how incredible and courageous you really are. This has been a grueling and torturous journey for you and I only hope that you can now start to put all of this behind you and find the happiness you so richly deserve. I hope that your arm does make a full recovery and that we'll be seeing you again at the Olympics in four years, as if you do make it back, I can promise you I'll be in the stands in Los Angeles cheering on your triumph once more."

She gave her a wide teary-eyed smile. "The both of you are inspirations to all as is your mother and entire family with your strength and courage."

She looked at both Nadia and Lena and then to the rows of family behind them with eyes smiling at Irina for a moment before flashing towards the jury box. "I want to thank you all for your time as I know its not easy being kept from your families and jobs but please be proud in knowing that you have served your country well and have done a good job. Justice has been served and you are now relieved of your duties and free to return to your lives before. I want to remind you all that the details in this case concerning the rape and abuse are not to be discussed and any doing so will result in prosecution. Thank you for your time. Court is adjourned." She banged the gavel; "Bailiffs please escort the prisoners back to their cells…"

Irina sighed heavily with tears in her eyes when they returned to their hotel suite and packed their things. "I don't think I could have shown them as much mercy as she did." She spoke quietly to Jack who turned to look at her seeing the tears in her eyes unshed.

"Yes, you would have…" He walked over to her trailing his hand down her arm to grasp her fingers, "She gets her compassion from you." Jack kissed her hand playing with her soft fingers, "You showed mercy to the worst kind of monster… when you had every reason not to." He spoke quietly and the tears finally fell as their minds both flashed back to ending Cuvee's life with a bullet instead of letting him burn to death like he deserved, "You're both amazingly strong women. It is I, who would not have shown them any mercy…not them …nor him." He held her face gently in his hands thumbing away the falling tears. "I love you, Irina." He kissed her and she cried with pent up emotion, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tightly as their kiss deepened and her tears continued to fall.

* * *

**__*****Time***

When they returned to Russia the emotions that had been boxed up and shoved down were slowly seeping out and corroding them away from the inside out, refusing to stay shut inside their compartments anymore. Both Lena and Nadia returned to school and the Academy putting on their brave faces and going through the motions during the daylight hours but once they got home, the masks began to slip. Nightmares now plagued them both every time they shut their eyes with both reliving their moments of hell and intermixing with each other in the car going over the bridge and disappearing with Antony and the baby's death and Nadia's rape from what Lena saw and then what Nadia herself remembered. The lack of sleep was wearing on both girls and everything and everyone around them was suffering in some way in watching their slow destruction from the flashbacks that haunted them. At night, their demons seemed to plague them the worst though neither said anything to anyone.

Lena hit the bag with unbridled fury over and over with sweat pouring down her face and body as she worked herself into oblivion for hours on end working out in the gym. She spun and kicked and spun again punching and pounding relentlessly.

Irina was preparing dinner with Dmitri standing beside her and her eyes kept flashing up to the security monitors watching Lena with concern on her face though she never voiced it.

"Sometimes I look up at her and think I'm seeing you." Dmitri spoke quietly watching Lena pulverizing the bags with dark hair flying wildly behind her in a messy ponytail.

"Did I worry you this much?" Irina asked him back just as quietly while continuing to cut the vegetables before her.

"All the time." He answered back with a slight smile, "The two of you are so much the same."

"Well, right now, I wish we weren't." Irina's eyes filled with unshed tears watching her daughter the screen before her wind down and stand huffing and puffing with exhaustion wiping the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand and her eyes looking so lost as she stare into nothingness. "My children should never have to go through this kind of pain…they don't deserve it." Her voice cracked slightly looking down from Lena's image to the cutting board where she viciously cut the carrot in two.

"And neither did you." He reminded her softly as only a parent could reaching out to tilt her chin up and look at him with soft hands and a gentle smile, "She is strong like her mother…she will make it through this…and so will Nadia."

"She's getting worse, Papa…not better." Irina's eyes watered and a tear finally fell.

"You had to fight through your demons on your own, Child…and she has to as well. It's hard as a parent to stand by and watch your child suffer and destroy themselves from the pain they are in but there is little you can do except stand by and be there for them when they need you…" He brushed her tear away and handed her more vegetables that he'd washed in preparation.

"I don't know how you dealt with me all those years," She shook her head in wonder and he gave her another small smile.

"I didn't deal with you…I loved you as you love them." He held her dark tear-filled eyes. "You have more of an advantage with them then I had with you though…You know the demons they are fighting though I was never aware of all the details surrounding the demons you fought and who chased you." He spoke quietly and paused thinking about so many things he didn't know about that she had kept locked away and to herself for so many years, Baby Jack being one of them. "Your mask was of iron and it took me years to decipher what you were really feeling and thinking when you wore it."

"I'm sorry." She whispered to him thinking about all the worry she must have caused him over the years.

"Don't be. Would you want Nadia and Lena to come to you now and apologize for the worry they are causing you in going through this pain?" He looked her with a slanted eyebrow.

"No." Irina answered immediately shaking her head. "They have nothing to be sorry to me about, I only wish I could help them more."

"Hmm yes." He looked at her with a knowing smile and she smiled softly in turn seeing his point though she still felt badly for making him worry so as it was eating her alive now unable to help her children and knowing he'd felt the same. "You are helping them, Irina…I see it everyday. They may still be falling fast but at least they know that you're there…that they are not alone and that is what matters to them." He paused turning back to his own cooking, "Sometimes they have to hit the bottom before they'll let you help them back up…and sometimes they don't recognize when they have and then you must take your own action to save them from themselves." He spoke quietly thinking about having to do so with her.

"Moscow was my hitting bottom and not recognizing it with you stepping in wasn't it? With Katya?" Her eyes flashed over to his while they continued to work side by side and she watched Lena leave the gym.

"You hit bottom and didn't recognize it many times before then…" He shook his head softly with sadness thinking about just how many and sighed heavily before continuing, "Its just my heart couldn't take it anymore in respecting your wishes at almost losing you so drastically one time too many. Seeing your chest cracked open and having to help Alexei put your heart back together with my bare hands…" He shook his head still haunted by that night with a deep sigh. "I had honored your separation from Katya and hers' from you for as long as I could knowing how much the both of you loved each other so and couldn't take it anymore…you needed her and she needed you and I knew that she was the only one who could save you at that point. Make you realize your life was valuable and meant something…that you were loved and not alone in this world and I knew, that you would never ask for help up from the bottom because you believed yourself to be so unworthy…and with finding out you were pregnant,"He shook his head softly remembering what a surprise that had been,"I had to do something…I wished I could have done something sooner but you both had to be in a place where you were ready…and unfortunately, it took something drastic to get you both there. Holding your bleeding heart in her hand seemed to be the deciding factor for Ekaterina and your finding out you were carrying another life inside you that was worthy of protecting and love…made you more cautious with your own life." He added quietly. "Your light out of the darkness." He smiled at her softly thinking about Lena.

"What's going to be her light out of the darkness, Papa?" Irina asked quietly with worried tears rebuilding in her eyes.

"You had many that kept you moving forward through all of those hard years. First it was Julian," He smiled thinking about the adorable little blonde haired boy when he first came into their lives and made Irina smile as well, "Then Rambaldi and Russia, then Sydney and Lena. But all of those things, only came with _time_."

* * *

_***Dark Paradise***_

"Are you going out?" Irina asked walking into the foyer and seeing Lena coming down the stairs dressed to go out and fastening her coat.

"Yes." Lena answered softly avoiding her mother's gaze.

"You're not staying for dinner?" Irina asked thoroughly concerned.

"I'm not very hungry right now." Lena's eyes flashed up to her mother's before moving in to hug her.

"I love you, Sweetheart. Please be careful." Irina held her tightly, kissing her head before releasing her when Lena pulled back.

"That doesn't seem to matter…trying to be careful. In the end it has nothing to do with what you want in life, or how careful you are? Does it?" Her voice was low but clear anger tinged her words with her sadness with instant flashes of the car sliding off the bridge. "Night Mama." She added rapidly and quickly walked out the door and Irina's eyes filled instantly with tears.

Lena jumped in her car and took off rapidly with Max and the rest of her detail following closely behind all holding their breath every time she got into a car now and terrified with the reckless abandon she seemed to drive with now as if not caring if she lived or died and pushing the limits whenever she could, tempting her fate.

She ended up at a bar she'd never been to, not wanting to go to any place she'd ever gone to with Antony and see anymore of his ghost that haunted her wherever she went already.

"Straight vodka…Make it a triple, please." Lena asked the bartender whose eyebrows rose considerably seeing the Tsarevicha sit down before him. His eyes kept close watch on her in stunned surprise while pouring her the requested drink and deciding she more then deserved it after everything she'd been through in the last few months. He slid the drink over to her and she downed it in an instant hoping to numb the ache inside her and quiet the demons that would not let her rest.

"Another please?" She asked quietly and he filled another glass for her watching as she did the same and his eyes flashed over to the men he knew were her security force sitting at a table not far from the bar and saw their concerned gazes.

It wasn't long before she'd downed half the tall bottle of vodka and her actions slowed considerably as the silent river of tears from her eyes never ceased sitting in the silence at the end of the bar. The burn of the liquor in her empty stomach was a welcome one distracting from the burn in her heart and she wiped at her eyes, rubbing them hard trying to scrub the image of Antony's eyes holding to hers as they went through the ice out of her mind and sobbed pushing her glass out asking silently for the refill and her wish was granted.

After just an hour, she was about to pass out and Max finally approached making a cut-throat gesture to the bartender behind Lena who couldn't see, telling the man to cut her off.

"Another please?" She asked holding her glass out and speaking when it had been there for quite some time without being refilled.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Tsarevicha…how about we go get something to eat?" Max asked sitting down on the stool beside her. She was like a daughter to him, having been assigned to him when he was only twenty-four and she was four. Her parents wanting a young agent assigned to her who would be able to look after her for a long time which he had every intention of doing until the day he retired. She was the first assignment he'd ever gotten out of the Academy and she would also be his last and it was his great honor to take care of the Tsarevicha as it was his father's before him in looking after her mother, the Tsar. A family tradition in protecting the rulers of Imperial Russia of which his son was already enthusiastic about following in their footsteps and taking over for his father after he retired.

"Just one more, Max…I'm almost numb…and they're almost gone." She whispered through slurred speech rubbing her forehead with her hand and sniffling through her tears.

He didn't have to ask who 'they' were as he knew and it broke his heart nodding at the bartender to allow her one last drink knowing it would quiet the ghosts that haunted her at least for now.

The man filled her glass and she downed it as the one's before with the glass almost falling out of her hand as she swayed dabbling in and out of consciousness and went limp just as Max caught her, swooping her up into his arms.

"How much for the drinks?" He asked the bartender shifting her dead weight in his arms having passed out completely.

"It's on me." The man gave Max a sad smile, "As great of an honor as it is in serving the Tsarevicha…under these circumstances I hope that I never see her in here again." He added quietly feeling tears prickle the tough Russian man's eyes staring at the unconscious woman in Max's arms.

"Me too." Max nodded and left with the other's following him out and another holding open the door passing a few other bar patrons who were visibly in tears watching them go.

Max strapped her unconscious form into the passenger seat of his SUV while another agent climbed in her car and they headed home in the cold Russian night with clear moonshining down upon them.

With tears in his eyes he tried to blink back he scooped her up again when they pulled in front of the palace, her head lulling over the crook in his elbow with her long hair swaying as he pushed the doorbell.

Dmitri answered not long after with Irina behind him and both were immediately alarmed, "What happened?" Irina asked with rampant tears surging forward to look at Lena.

"She passed out." Max answered softly and Irina's eyes flashed up to his, "She drank herself 'numb' to quiet the ghosts." A tear slipped from his eye and watched Irina's rapidly fill with the same tears and fall just as quickly, "I'll take her upstairs for you." He nodded and Irina held back a sob nodding her thanks.

Jack walked out of their bedroom when they were on the second landing and he immediately was alarmed with concern as well, "What happened?"

"She drank until she passed out." Irina answered while they kept walking up the steps towards him and it seemed everyone was suddenly coming out of their rooms or walking in the hallway, all stopping in their tracks at seeing the unconscious Lena in Max's arms.

"She never drinks until she passes out." Jack gasped with flooding concern holding open the door to Lena's bedroom to let Max pass with her while everyone else instantly had tears in their eyes to hear what was going on.

"She does now." Irina inhaled a sob knowing this path all too well. She pulled back the covers on Lena's bed and pulled of her daughter's shoes before Max laid her down. "Thank you, Max."

"I'm very worried about her, Your Majesty." The man smoothed his hand over Lena's forehead speaking quietly.

"So are we." Irina whispered in turn sitting on the edge of the bed and running the backs of her fingers over Lena's cheek.

Jack escorted Max out while Irina stayed with Lena, staring at her daughter with raining tears staining her face silently sobbing as she stroked the hair back over her head. "Oh Sweetheart…please get off this path."

* * *

_***Rise***_

_She felt herself being thrown against the door and the pressure against her arms and body while they held her there. She screamed, begging and pleading feeling him rip her underwear off._

_"Lena!" He screamed stretching his arm over in front of her when they hit the barrier and heard the screech of metal tearing; his eyes locking onto her own as they freefall straight down with time in slow motion and the jolt before being washed over in freezing cold water._

_His fingers roughly raking through her delicate skin and then gasping feeling his finger invade her body quickly and then leave. Her scream turned breathless and then gasped feeling her heart stop with his length filling her completely in one violent thrust._

_She opens her eyes and feels her body dragging under the ice through the freezing water. Her lungs are screaming for air and she claws at the thick sheet above her with the frightening blackness surrounding her; frantically pounding with no out and feels her heart clench painfully._

Both flew forward in bed drenched with sweat and sobbing as they gasped for air, pulling their legs up to their chests. Lena falls over onto her side curling into the fetal position and Nadia rocks back and forth rapidly while both sob in their separate bedrooms, alone in the darkness trembling violently unable to escape their mental prisons and wanting to die to end it.

Irina shifted and jolted in her sleep jumping bringing herself awake with pounding heart sitting up in bed and breathing hard before sobbing silently as the images of her daughters continue to rip through her mind. Lena's dead form bobbing in the moonlight before slipping under the ice and Nadia's mangled body covered in blood on the couch.

"Hey…what's wrong?" Jack sat up asking instantly wrapping his arm over Irina's back, feeling her jump beside him and then crying. "What is it?" He asked again softly and she turned rapidly throwing her arms around his neck sobbing with trembles running through her. "Irina, what is it?" He asked again with great fear running rampant through his heart to see her so upset. "What were you dreaming about?"

"The girls…" She whispered through her cries and then held to him more tightly.

Jack sighed turning his head into her neck kissing her repeatedly and running his hands soothingly over her back. "They're okay, My Love."

"No… they're not." Irina cried feeling their pain within her heart. "They're trying to bury their pain and its burying them instead. I'm scared, Jack. I'm scared because I know where their minds are at and what they want right now and I can't live with that."

"What do they want?" He asked in a whisper with tears forming in his eyes afraid he already knew the answer remembering what he'd read very clearly in Irina's journals from those times in her life and what she wanted to escape the pain.

"To die…" She sobbed and he wrapped his arms tightly around her with tears falling with her confirmation. "Why is this happening, Jack? Why do they have to go through this too?"

"I don't know, My Love…I don't know." He whispered against her ear with choked voice, "But you survived…and you came out all the stronger for it…they will. I have to believe that because I won't accept anything else either." He kissed the spot before her ear, reaching up to cup her face and kissed the tears on her cheeks before capturing her lips.

"I have to go check on them." Irina cried softly inhaling her sob after resting her forehead with his for a few moments, sniffling and kissing him once again before climbing out of bed and reaching for her robe.

She went to Lena's room first as it was the closest one to their own and carefully and quietly opened the door to check on her sleeping daughter. Her heart thundered in her ears when she saw the bed was empty and the sheets and blankets all twisted around and thrown off the bed while Nana poked her head up with sad eyes lying on the rug by the window, the place she always slept when Lena wasn't in her room.

Irina walked over and pet the beautiful old dog whom seemed to carry Lena's sadness with her too and took a double take out the window seeing the flash of red run through the garden down below outside and stepped closer to the glass to see Lena running at full speed into the night and towards the moon…running from her demons that wouldn't leave her alone, something Irina knew well and she fisted her hand in front of her mouth inhaling her sob watching until her daughter disappeared into the trees. She reined in her cries and left the room, moving to check on Nadia.

Her heart once again clenched stepping into Nadia's room and finding her bed of twisted sheets empty as well and heard the shower running…something else Irina knew well, the un-escapable feeling of being dirty and the need to scrub your skin raw trying to rid the images of them you carried with you after.

Both girls were plagued with nightmarish flashbacks unable to sleep either and her heart broke at that thought and then further hearing Nadia sobbing behind the bathroom door and Irina pressed her forehead against the wooden door, crying silently with her and pleading with God to help her to help them.

Her heart told her what she needed to do and she hesitated for a moment before forgetting what her mind was telling her and going with her heart and entered the bathroom immediately seeing Nadia sitting in the shower corner curled into a ball and sobbing with her head buried in her arms over her knees behind the foggy steaming glass trying to wash away the 'filth' with scalding water.

Irina grabbed the towel from the hook and opened the door without Nadia even aware until she noticed the absence of the water when Irina turned it off and stepped in reaching for Nadia pulling her up and wrapping the towel around her, pulling her against her and holding her tightly while they both cried.

Without a word, Irina wrapped her tightly with one towel using another to squeeze the excess water out of Nadia's hair and then removed the cast cover before escorting her daughter back to the darkened bedroom and retrieving fresh pajamas, she dressed her while Nadia continued to cry softly.

When that was finished Irina curled up with her in bed and held her tightly.

"I love you, Nadia…forever and always, Baby Girl…you're going to get through this…you will."

"I just want it to stop, Mama," She cried softly.

"I know, Sweetheart…but you can't give up. The more you talk about it…the more you get out…the easier it gets. I kept it to myself for so long, trying to bury it…Forget what they did but I never could because I kept it trapped inside me. Only after talking to Katya, and your father and Sydney…did I truly start to let it go." Irina cried silently with her, holding Nadia as she laid her head over Irina's chest and tucked under her chin. "It was a way for me to take back some of the control they took from me…I wasn't letting it, control me, anymore." She kissed Nadia's head asking softly, "What was your nightmare about tonight?"

"When they threw me against the door…holding me there and I knew what they were going to do and then…" Nadia sobbed with rapid breath trembling and Irina held her more tightly, "Feeling him invade me and tear me apart…I couldn't breathe…I couldn't move…it was like he had killed me and time stood still until he moved again." Her hot tears were pooling against Irina's skin. "I keep having that one over and over…it won't stop."

"The one that seemed to haunt me the most…was always the first too…" Irina shared softly, crying just the same silently, "I felt the same way…when they chained me to the table holding me down…I knew what they were going to do and I fought it so hard… but then…everything stopped with his first thrust into me…invading me and tearing me apart and it was like he'd just killed me and my heart stopped…but I wasn't dead. They'd drugged me so I couldn't move restrained to the table…but I felt everything…every, single, vicious thrust and grab…just like you." She added softly with a choked sob for her daughter in going through this.

"I always knew after watching the films and learning the truth about what happened to you…that it had to have been so horrendous and horrible for you…and I thought I understood then…but I really had no idea…." She cried holding Irina more tightly beneath her, "I could never understand…until now. I'm so sorry, Mama."

"Why are you sorry, Sweetheart? You have nothing to be sorry for in regards to me." Irina kissed her and shed more tears.

"Yes, I do…because I didn't really get it."

"Sweetheart, I wish with all my heart and soul that this was something that you 'never' understood about me and what I went through…I know how much pain this is and what it does to you…makes you feel about yourself and for me to know…that is what you're feeling now and having to go through…I would do anything to take it away for you, Nadia. Anything if I could." She kissed her forehead with warm lips, "You can talk to me about anything Nadia… you can tell me anything and ask me anything."

"I know…its just you're already dealing with so much with Lena and Tsaring and I don't want to add to it."

"Nadia, I will never ever be too busy for you. Never. You're my child and you'll always come first. You and Lena and Nicholas are all dealing with the same and separate tragedies in your own way and sometimes I feel like I'm stretched thin for you and not able to be there for you all in the ways I need to be and I'm sorry that you feel like I'm too busy for you…I'll try to do better…I'm sorry, Sweetheart." She cried softly.

"I don't feel like you're too busy for me, Mama…" Nadia felt guilty for making her mother feel guilty about being a 'bad' mother in making her think she wasn't being there enough for her when that wasn't it, "Its just I don't want you to have to worry about more me, too."

"Nadia, you're my baby and you'll always be my baby and I'm always going to worry about no matter how old you get. When you become a mother you'll understand what I'm talking about. You are a piece of my heart living outside my body and when you hurt, I hurt…its not a choice but a fact. When you are happy, I am happy."

"Me having children seems like such a far fetched idea right now…" Nadia sniffled.

"Why?" Irina asked softly raking her fingers over the hair above Nadia's ear with eyebrows slanting in concern knowing how much her daughter loved children.

"Because I can hardly think about how I'm going to make it through tomorrow let alone think about a future anymore… I had started hoping a little and letting myself believe that I could have one…a future and a good one when Nikolas came back but I don't know anymore and that hurts even more now…a future that's lost before it even had a chance to really start." She cried reaching up to wipe at the salty tears with her eyes burning.

"What's happening with Nikolas?" Irina asked with great concern knowing and seeing some tension between the two as of late but never the lack of love in Nikolas's gaze when he looked at Nadia.

"I'm pushing him away most of the time these days and then I cling to him and push him away again. Saying things and doing things that I'm really surprised he hasn't run for the door already...I'm so crazy right now. I trust him explicitly though I'm sure to him it seems as though I trust no one but the truth is…I don't trust myself…I'm afraid to let myself trust in him and us…to believe in anything past the day I'm in. I yell at him trying to get him to fight with me to see how far I can push him before he leaves me…but he never has…yet. He says he's not going anywhere and that he'll stay by me as long as I'll let him but I feel so badly that I'm doing this to him…that he has to 'stand by me' through all this insanity inside me…he should be happy…not dealing with me and my mood swings."

"He is happy Nadia…being with you is what makes him happy. I did the same with your father…afraid to believe in us that if I'd do something wrong or pushed too hard or he found out all that had happened to me and all that I'd done he'd realize I wasn't worth it and leave…but he never did…because he loves me. Nikolas loves you… That's why he isn't leaving. He knows you're fighting your own internal battles and that you're having troubles with trust and he understands that…he wants to help you in anyway he can and if at times that means you need to vent then he's willing to let you vent against him…that's why he won't fight back with you. He knows you don't really mean it…you're just dealing with a lot right now and he doesn't want to add to it. Dealing with your mood swings now will be good practice for him when you are pregnant some day."

She smiled softly, "I had many during my pregnancy, especially with you and your brother being so concerned for your health and safety after finding out about Nicholas's hemophilia. I was crazy with your father at times, pushing him away, trying to fight with him because I needed to vent and he let me…he never battled back with me because he loves me and knew that I wasn't really upset with him, just that I felt so helpless in protecting the two of you."

"If we make it that far… Every day I'm with him, I fall that much more and it scares me…scares me that if it doesn't work out it will be something else I'll have to survive." Nadia sniffled and wiped at her eyes again.

"If it's meant to be, it will work out and I have to believe that it will…there is something very special between the two of you that is visible to everyone." Irina smiled nestling her cheek against Nadia's forehead. "I felt the same way when your father came to me here all those years ago, wanting a second chance for us…I was terrified that if it didn't work out I'd have to survive losing him again but it was worth the risk to me…and to him and this is the result of taking that risk…you are a result of taking that risk."

A flash of a smile crossed Nadia's lips, "We took it a day at a time and eighteen years later…here we are." Irina smiled, "And I still, fall that much more for him every day."

"That's because your love with Daddy is amazing." Nadia sniffled with a smile, "You knew from the first day you spent with him and he you, that you were 'the ones' for each other even if you weren't admitting it to yourselves at the time."

"Yes, that's true…but the road to great love and making it work isn't easy. It wasn't for your father and I…it wasn't for my mother and father or my grandparents…or even your sister Sydney with Michael. We all had to fight for it. Your' father and I were enemy spies… my parents were supposed to be enemies as well given my father was supposed to be burying my mother and instead saving her…and your Great Babushka Alexandra and Great Papa Nicolai had to fight for their love as well." She smiled softly thinking about her grandparents whose love story was one of the greatest ever that ended tragically like fairytale love often did in history, "It took them years to convince their parents to let them marry because of their difference in religious backgrounds…and your sister and Michael weren't allowed to be together because they were forbidden by rules of man in their jobs. We all had to struggle to get where we are today."

"And Lena and Antony…" Nadia added in whisper with new tears.

"Yes…" Irina agreed softly thinking about the struggle for the two of them to find their happiness and crushed that it was gone now, "But I know in my heart that some day…you're sister will find great love again. It won't be the same as it was with Antony, as no two loves ever are…but she will find it and be happy...just like Sydney was able to after losing Danny. She still carries that great love she had with him in her heart…but she was able to find and carry a new love for Michael as well."

"She's hurting so much, Mama." Nadia cried softly thinking about her sister.

"I know…and she will for some time to come. I wish I could take away her pain as I wish I could take away yours…but together we will get through this." Irina sighed and was quiet for a moment feeling Nadia yawn against her, "Try to get some sleep Doodle Bug…I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here when you wake up." She kissed her head again. "I love you, Sweetheart…forever and always."

"I love you too, Mama…forever and always." Nadia answered her quietly and closed her eyes letting the beat of her mother's heart lull her back to sleep.

* * *

Lena returned from her run in the early light of morning and immediately showered changing into her uniform and leaving for the Academy before anyone could see her though Irina caught sight of her slipping out of the door after leaving Nadia's room when she awoke and began getting ready for class.

"Where's Lena?" Sydney asked quietly wondering if her sister was hung-over and still in bed after last night noting her absence at the breakfast table.

"She's gone to the Academy already." Irina answered quietly pouring juice for Lara and dropping a kiss to her head.

Sydney sighed with sadness shaking her head softly reaching for the spoon to scoop some fruit salad onto her plate. Her sister had apparently inherited their mother's ability to drink and never be hung over only hoped that drinking herself into passing out wasn't going to become the norm for Lena though she knew how tempting it was, having done so for weeks herself after Danny died.

Lena returned after class and work and went straight to the gym and Jack could only watch helplessly in the kitchen on the monitors seeing her pounding out her pain and frustration and then once again, disappearing just after dark with either Max or Nicholas carrying her home after she passed out. This pattern continued for weeks, and Irina had tried to talk to her about it having been there herself, as did Jack, having fallen into the same destructive pattern after 'Laura' died and the truth of Irina surfaced.

Even Sydney tried to talk to her but Lena's reaction was the same every time, to not react or respond to what they were saying as if she hadn't heard them and then disappear for hours again coming back in the same unconscious form. How could they preach to her when they all had done the same thing in their lives in dealing with the great loss of their loves? She had to work through it on her own and they would stand by her as only she would change when she was ready to, they couldn't do it for her.


	64. Chapter 64

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Specters in the Fog **_**by Hans Zimmer from The Last Samurai**_**, Breathe Me **_**by Sia**_**, Despair**_** by Hans Zimmer from The Dark Knight Rises Soundtrack, _Idylls End _by Hans Zimmer from The Last Samurai Soundtrack, _To Know My Enemy _from The Last Samurai Soundtrack, _Whistle Stop Cafe _by Thomas Newman from Fried Green Tomatoes Soundtrack, _Walkaway_ by Thomas Newman from Meet Joe Black Soundtrack, _I'll Be Seeing You_ by Billie Holiday.**

* * *

SIXTY-FOUR

o

**_*Specters in the Fog*_**

Irina worked out with Lena in the mornings before each left for work and class and the two had fallen into a pattern of silence each day working up a sweat together in the freezing cold outside keeping warm with the layered black hakamas they wore, a dark contrast to the pure white snow they pounded around in with swords, sais and staffs fighting the unseen enemies with an unbelievable grace and beauty as they worked out their pain and sadness practicing various Martial Arts skills; Lena over Antony and the baby and Irina for not being able to take away the pain and seeing the spark completely gone from Lena's eyes as the hollowness grew each day and the weariness from her insomnia.

The only rest Lena was getting came after passing out for a few hours each night after drinking herself unconscious and then violently awakening from nightmares in the very early morning hours and running until sun up, running away from that which haunted her.

Jack was watching them standing in front of the French Doors in the kitchen while Dmitri made tea preparing to make breakfast. Irina and Lena were completely in sync with each other in their movements standing five feet apart without ever looking at each other knowing the skills so well and letting their bodies move without thinking making it look like a dance.

"They are the same, aren't they?" Jack asked quietly to Dmitri without taking his eyes off his wife and daughter who moved flawlessly side-by-side knowing the man knew Irina for much longer then he did, had seen her going through the most difficult years of her life and now seeing Lena going through the same.

"Yes…they are." Dmitri looked up and out the window before him at them; even their hair was blowing softly in the wind in the same direction. "Exactly the same… Looking at them now is like seeing Irina from years ago in a time warp now fighting beside herself in the present." He sighed, "And because they are the same, Lena will get through this too."

"And Irina won't leave her side until she does." Jack took the offered cup of coffee that Dmitri had made him. Irina had only clung more to Lena's side these days, as their daughter seemed to be getting worse and worse.

"No, she won't." Dmitri shook his head knowing Irina so well, "She knows that Lena must fight this battle on her own but she will stand beside her while she does…emotionally and physically." He nodded towards the two out the windows again where Irina was doing both before them now next to Lena. "She will do anything and everything to protect that child and in the end, Lena will acquire the strength she has to overcome…just as Irina did."

Lena was thrashing in her sleep as another nightmare hit and her heart pounded with tears spilling from her eyes with the horrible images flashing incessantly before her and she bolted forward in bed sobbing. Without stopping she flew forward and tore her clothes off putting her running ones on and flying out her door and down the stairs into the night outside.

Her feet rapidly tearing through the snow in a path she knew well with the moon lighting her way through the gardens and the trees and into the open fields and the images even now, flashing before her eyes would not let her be causing her to run harder.

Irina had been awake as well and heard her pass their door as she did every night now. For the last week she had been debating with herself on whether to stop Lena or not, knowing how important it was to have that alone time but at the same time, not wanting her to be alone anymore. Lena was not getting better and in fact, worse and Irina could take it no longer and made her decision. She changed her clothes and rapidly and followed behind her, running through the night after her daughter as hard as she could until she caught up with Lena who was sobbing and never stopped when Irina lunged forward reaching out and grabbed her in her arms, falling to the snow covered ground with her and holding her tightly in her arms while she cried.

"You can never outrun them, Lena." She whispered into Lena's ear with hot tears of her own coursing her cheeks. "You have to fight through this…you can't give up. You can do this, Lena. I'm right here with you…always, Sweetheart. You can do this...I'm right here with you." She cried holding her more tightly with Lena clinging to her sobbing.

Life only grew that much more harsh for Lena when she returned from her run that morning and found Nana still and lifeless curled up on the rug in front of the window. Her old and faithful friend, her savior at one point, had left her too, succumbing to her old age in her sleep and Lena sobbed and screamed at another painful loss hovering over her body.

* * *

**_*Breathe Me*_**

Lena skipped going into the palace after her last class that day when she returned home, knowing one less 'someone' she loved was no longer there and cried walking past the frozen lake Nana had saved her from falling through the ice for the first time years ago heading straight to her 'Antonys' grave with a fresh bottle of vodka in hand, peeling the red seal off and tossing it into the snow needing a drink before she even got there and sobbing the minute she saw the ruins and then screamed at it, him and them for leaving her behind and then haunting her.

Keeping up the façade during the day light hours was getting harder and harder with her mind spinning rapidly out of control in a swirling vortex of emotions. She wanted nothing more then to die and be with them and only tried to hold on for her family's sake…for the country she was supposed to rule one day though the thought made her laugh sarcastically now taking a long swig of the clear liquor thinking about how she couldn't even keep herself together and moving forward and yet, supposed to be the 'light' of the future when she was surrounded by nothing but darkness.

She had no idea how her mother ever made it through this, found the will to keep going and get out of bed everyday. Right now, her mother was the only reason Lena kept getting out of bed. She knew her mother couldn't and _wouldn't_ survive the loss of another child which was made fact when her heart had stopped when her own had in that river and she couldn't be responsible for taking her mother's life with her own, taking her mother away from her father and family, from the country who needed her and whom she led so well. And so tomorrow she knew that she would get out of bed again, for her mother and for them but right now, all she wanted was numbness and few peaceful hours of quiet before it started all over again.

Lena crashed to her knees in the snow over their grave sobbing and screaming and drinking the pain away. The nightly drinking had built her quite a tolerance and tonight she was hoping for a few more hours of nothingness by drinking the entire bottle and got her wish when she finally succumbed herself to the darkness, curled up on her side in the snow, laying over them in their grave.

"Where's Lena?" Irina asked when she came home from the airport having had to meet with the Japanese Prime Minister earlier in the day in Moscow. The melancholy mood from Nana's death hung like another dark cloud over an already somber group.

"I was just about to ask you if you'd talked to her and knew where she was. She's not answering her phone." Jack stood by the set dinner table while everyone else gathered around to eat for the evening. They knew she was 'home' and somewhere in the palace or on the grounds as her car was in the garage.

"Okay…everyone spread out. She has to be here somewhere." Irina sighed heavily with great concern and rubbed her forehead with her fingers and everyone immediately snapped into action spreading out over the massive palace.

"She's not here…she must be outside." Nadia was the last to meet when everyone congregated again in the foyer.

"Well she's not running because I saw her running shoes in her room." Sydney added with her own worry reaching new heights.

"I know where she is…" Irina sighed softly knowing the only other place Lena would be these days. "You guys go ahead and start dinner. I'll go get her."

"I'll come with you, Mama." Nicholas volunteered knowing in that instant where his sister would be too.

The two walked along in the darkness with arms linked and hands stuffed into jacket pockets and breath visible as the cold night air settled, heading towards the ruins.

"How are you doing, Sweetheart?" Irina asked softly having not been able to talk with her son about his own grief in losing his best friend in the last week or so. He had been spending a great deal of time with Isabella since the accident, the two of them grieving Antony's loss together.

"I'm doing okay, I guess. I miss him…It's really starting to sink in more that he really is gone." He answered quietly, "Isa and I laughed for the first time last night in thinking about him…remembering a couple of years ago when he let Lara dress him up as a girl and put make-up on him playing house." He chuckled softly even now with the image and Irina smiled too, remembering and thinking about taking their picture together. "We laughed and then we cried…" He added with a choked voice feeling tears prickling his eyes and frantically blinking them back. "He would have been a great dad."

"Yes, he would have." Irina fought off her own tears as the image of father and son in the casket invaded her mind. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to speak with you more about how you're feeling…I know what a terrible pain it is in losing your best friend." She thought softly thinking about losing her mother, and sister, Mikhail, Jack and Julian all at some point and time in her life and in different ways.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Mama." He gave her a soft smile leaning over and kissing her cheek while they walked along, "Talking with Isa has helped a lot and so has talking to Dad…" He smiled thinking about his fathers words, "Dad lost his best friend, too…when he lost you." His eyes flashed over to his mother. "You have nothing to be sorry for…I know that Lena and Nadia need you a great deal more than me right now and I want you to be there for them. You understand what they're both going through better then anyone… and I'm okay. You gave me a strong heart." He took his hand out of his pocket to lie over his chest making her smile, "Just like you gave to them, only mine was not broken to the severity theirs' is…Theirs' will take much longer to heal but I know they'll be okay someday, too. You'll help them to be okay."

"You are so much like your father sometimes." Irina smiled at him with tears in her eyes before kissing him, "I love you, Nicholas."

"I love you too, Mama." He stopped walking to hug her tightly, both of them needing the contact. "It's funny you should say I remind you of Dad as he is always telling me, how much I remind him of you." He laughed softly when they pulled apart, re-linked arms and walked on in the moonlight.

"You are the best of us both." Irina smiled knowing how true that was. "All of you are."

"Well I've only seen the best of you so I have no comparison." He laughed softly, "To me, you're perfect in everyway."

That statement made Irina laugh, shaking her head, "Oh, if you only knew. I'm far from perfect… Perfection is in the eye of the beholder."

"Yes, I know and in my eyes as the beholder, you are perfect." He smiled, "There's no one like '_my Mama_." He laughed softly when she smiled, "I know about the past and everything that happened and what you've done…but I also know that you're the most courageous and amazing person I've ever met in my life and you own up to the fact that you made and can make mistakes…and that is why you're perfect to me. You are the touchstone in all our lives, Mama and if its okay for you to make mistakes and show us how to learn from them, then it makes it okay for us to be human too as we follow your lead… You made your way through hell and back…and we'd follow you anywhere, you know?" He slanted his eyebrow at her with a soft smile. "I think most people agree that if you can make it through that and come out so extraordinary then they'd follow you anywhere…course I'd follow you anywhere just because you're Mama." He laughed softly and Irina grabbed his chin in one hand kissing his cheek twice with a smile.

"You're the extraordinary one, Sweetheart." She ran her hand over his cheek staring into her own eyes looking back at her, "And you are so like your father." She added with a smile laughing softly when he did.

"Well actually, you taught me all that." He smiled. "You don't have to actually tell me things or sit me down and tell me stuff for me to learn from you. Just watching you and looking at what you've already done has taught me a lot…something else you taught me to do." He laughed, "Though that analysis and lesson of learning from people, you verbally expressed to me."

"Now you're reminding me of Julian." Irina laughed softly thinking about her little shadow all those years who was constantly watching and learning just as she taught him to.

"Well then you agree with Dad on that at least." Nicholas laughed hearing his father saying the same thing in his head from a conversation just two days ago. "It's okay that we're laughing and smiling again isn't it?" He asked after a moment having never really lost someone he was so close to or at least remembered losing, and unsure of the 'laws' of grieving.

"Absolutely." Irina gave him a soft smile, "I think Antony would like very much to hear and see you and Isabella's laughs and smiles again. He wouldn't want us to be sad forever. That's the hard thing about grief…its about us and not them. They are in a much better place and it's those of us left behind that struggle with their loss. There is no set way of grieving, everyone is different and I think to a degree, you never stop grieving for someone. It just changes over time as you learn to recognize that they will always be with you. Death can take a life but nothing can steal your memories."

She removed her other hand from her pocket to squeeze his arm and wrap it with her other around his that she was holding onto smiling softly at him thinking about Antony and all the memories of them together,

"You keep the ones you've loved and lost alive in spirit by remembering them and carrying them with you into the future until the day you meet again." Her eyes filled with tears thinking about her family already waiting for her and taking comfort in knowing she would see them again some day,

"You have to learn over time how to channel that grief into the fuel for the rest of your life's journey. Love never dies, the body does. The spirit lives on forever in the ones you leave behind and those who come after you."

She paused thinking about how much of her lost child she saw in those that came after, keeping his spirit alive, "The opposite of life is not death, its birth. People are born and die at the same time every minute of the day, souls in some form exchanging bodies all coming from and going back to the same place in a continuous cycle. I'm not sad thinking about my own death someday because when I die somewhere at that moment in the world a baby will be born and a new life will be starting all over again another great journey,"

She smiled with blurry eyes thinking about Talia going out of this world in a peaceful sleep and Gustav coming into is screaming at his birth and tears shed marked both occasions. Talia had, had a good life and now Gustav was getting the chance to live his. "It's not the beginning or the end that matters the most but how you spend the time inbetween. Antony had a good inbetween. He had his share of sadness, but from that sadness he also found his happiness."

"Lena." Nicholas nodded softly in understanding realizing that the sadness portion of Antony's life having been kidnapped was what brought him his greatest joy with Lena.

"Yes…and I doubt very much that if he had the chance to pass on the sadness he wouldn't have because that would also mean having never met your sister. Never knowing that kind of love and that is really what life is all about. Love. Being loved and loving someonelse in turn…Antony had that…and so did the baby," Her eyes filled with tears again, "For however brief his life was, he had both too. Loving Lena already in her womb…comforted by the sound of her voice and heart beat even if she wasn't aware, she was his home…and we loved him…love him still." She added softly.

"Like we love Jack…though we never met, he is my brother…and I love him. I don't even have to think about it…I just do." Nicholas eyes flashed softly over to his mother giving her a soft smile with tears held back in his own eyes and Irina's heart melted with a sigh and a single tear finally fell. "When I was little I always thought of Heaven as this far off place, like another country where he was living with Babushka and Papa. Like they were on vacation and I'd see them again someday. I think I'll keep believing that as I was right in my childish innocence then…they're all just on vacation in some beautiful location because I know, I will see them again." He smiled and then laughed softly, "Antony's probably on a beach somewhere building sandcastles with Jack and his son, smiling and laughing and having a good time waiting for the day when he greets us on the other side…slapping me on the back when I get there and saying 'it took you long enough, but you had a helluva ride." His smiled widened and his own stray tears fell, Irina stopping them from walking again with streaming tears and a smile kissing away his tears and then hugging him tightly.

"Thank you for that visual of them…and yes, I want you to have '_one helluva- long ride_' with your life before you get to that other side." Irina held him more tightly wishing him a long and eventful life and he laughed with her emphasis on the 'long' part thinking 'always the protective Mama.'

"Me too, Mama. Me too." He kissed her cheek and they kept walking cutting in under the trees and seeing the ruins as they approached.

_***Despair***_

"Lena…" Irina called out with heart pounding instantly at seeing her daughter's form lying on her side in the snow over the grave, _"Lena!"_ She called out louder as they both ran over to her seeing the empty bottle of vodka and Lena not moving or answering them all. "Sweetheart…" She called out to her diving to her knees in the snow beside her pushing Lena's hair back off her face and neck, "My God she's freezing." She felt the surge of panic at touching her skin and dug with fingers through Lena's coat fabric to her neck finding that skin warmer but not much and the pulse she was looking for though barely there._ "Lena!_" She called out loudly and her daughter didn't move at all. "How long has she been out here?" Her eyes flashed up to Nicholas crouched behind Lena on the other side.

"I don't know. I got home just before you did." His own panic was flooding over him and he quickly moved to scoop his sister into his arms.

"No, don't!" Irina quickly stopped him, "She's in the severe stages of hypothermia and any sudden movement could stop her heart. You have to move her very gently and slowly." She helped him to carefully slide his arms under Lena without moving her rigid limbs too much, a major sign of severe hypothermia as her body cut the blood circulation to her limbs trying to keep her core warm. "We have to get her inside immediately. She feels like she's been out here for hours." Irina stood rapidly helping him to stand with Lena in his grip and they quickly hurried with her back to the palace worried about the amount of vodka she drank lowering her body temperature that much more.

_"Jack! Marcelo!"_ She called out loudly flinging the palace door open and letting Nicholas passed her and they instantly came running from the dining room followed by everyone else and their gate only increasing with speed to see Lena dangling in Nicholas's arms once again. "She's as cold as ice…we found her passed out in the snow lying over their grave with an empty bottle of vodka by her side." She held back her sobs of sadness and panic while the tears rolling from her eyes. "How long has she been out there?"

"I have no idea. I didn't even know she was home. She didn't come in the palace at all." Jack's own panic surged at seeing her with fingers brushing over Lena's face and to her neck feeling her icy skin and then needing to feel her pulse as well to waylay his fears.

Marcelo was immediately looking at Lena, noting the waxing appearance of her skin with a bluish tint now visible in the light indoors and then carefully opened her eye seeing her eyes fully dilated, "She's in severe hypothermia. We have to get her to the hospital now." He commanded immediately, "Anya," He turned to the one nearest to him, "Go grab a blanket and Eva a pair of scissors, please, quickly. We have to get her out of these wet clothes now."

The girls raced off immediately while Nicholas ever so carefully lay Lena on the sofa in the waiting area of the foyer and they waited with Irina pressing her cheek to Lena's and hands around her daughter's neck passing as much body heat to her as she could without disturbing her limbs potentially stopping her heart.

When the girls raced back with the items, Marcelo carefully sat Lena up with Irina and Sydney pulling her coat off knowing they couldn't cut that off and were happy to find the rest of her clothing was dry but cut her shirt off anyway, leaving her in her bra.

Nicholas immediately ripped his shirt off without being asked to and then picked her back up again ever so carefully and they wrapped them both with the blanket.

"Keep your chest and cheek pressed to hers' as we need to warm her core up before her arms and legs or risk sending her into cardiac arrest with warming her limbs up to quickly and sending a surge of cold blood through her heart." Marcelo instructed not trying to scare the young man but needing him to know how serious it was and what needed to be done and it was Lara who started crying first with loud sobs that everyone else was holding back to see her aunt like that and so very scared for what was happening.

Jack, Irina and Marcelo raced off to the hospital in the helicopter with Nicholas holding onto his sister and the rest followed in cars. Hours later, Lena's core temperature had risen back to almost within normal limits that were 'acceptable' and everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief that they'd found her in time.

Irina was hovering over Lena lying in the bed in the hospital, her daughter's hand tightly clasped between her own and Jack paced back and forth on the other side.

"We have to do something. She almost killed herself tonight. If you hadn't have gone out there when you did…" He let the thought die as he shook his head and took a seat in the chair opposite of her, picking up Lena's other hand and holding it with tears of fear forming in his eyes, "Irina, we have to do something." He swallowed hard, "I know it was an accident but I'm afraid that when she wakes up and finds out what happens I will see that flash of sadness race through her eyes that she almost died and didn't."

"I am too." Irina whispered in return with a sob escaping her having thought the same thing, knowing her daughter wouldn't willingly try to kill herself but also knowing she wished for death to find her and take her away from her pain.

"So what are we going to do?" Jack asked looking to her for suggestion knowing she better then anyone would have at least some clue as to how to help their daughter through the pain of losing the one she loved and her child.

Irina inhaled a deep breath and sighed, wiping at her tears looking at Lena and then back to Jack knowing what she needed to do and had been holding off on, "I need to take her away, Jack…away from the physical reminders that only add to her pain until she can find her center again and fight off the pain within, deal with the reminders inside her first before she tackles the physical ones. Get her away from the alcohol and life she's trying to drown the pain in…and to a place where she doesn't have to wear a mask."

Jack's heart broke thinking about Lena leaving and with her, Irina too knowing his wife wouldn't let her go without her and wouldn't want Lena by herself now either.

"Where?" He asked with one simple word knowing it was too far where he knew Irina would take her.

"Nara." Irina answered softly wiping at more falling tears knowing how far away that was and how much she was going to miss him and her family.

"Japan." Jack sighed heavily scrubbing his hand over his face with the thought of them being on the other side of the world.

"Yes, I'm going to take her back to the monastery." Irina ran her thumbs over Lena's warmed flesh and Jack nodded knowing before he asked that was where she'd take her.

It was where Irina had gone, he knew, many times over the years they were separated when her life began to spin out of control and she needed to find her center again. Being there, she had told him once, forced her to be alone with herself and that which haunted her, unable to escape it through other means like alcohol and work and the silence surrounding her not only helped her to find focus again but eventually became the balm to her bleeding wounds and healed them enough to make scabs at least and stop any further destruction to herself. The place had meant so much to her the song written and named for its location won the Academy Award for musical score from the film featuring her time there.

She had mastered the ways of the Samurai while there, saving her from herself, by learning from the last known true Samurai alive Sensei Itsuo Okada; the same man who had taught Lena on their trips there since she was a tiny little girl and the man now who, at ninety years old, could take down Irina. She had first met him while he was staying in Thailand in the monastery there taking refuge from her assassin after Berlin and letting her wounds heal. Okada had also trained Conrad and was the one to give Irina the Samurai name of great honor, 'The Red Warrior.'

Irina had thought at the time, that they had given it to her because she was Russian, a 'Red' Communist. It wasn't until after her Coronation ceremony that Okada had told her of the true reason behind her given Samurai name, one he said she wasn't ready to learn until now.

The meaning of the color red to the Japanese meant courage and leadership and being the color of blood, life and vitality as well as fiery heat, warmth and burning within that could mean danger if not handled well and it was that 'burning anger' that Okada had seen when he first met Irina; the same burning anger that described her in the prophecy as The Chosen One.

Okada had said that Irina was all of those things though she couldn't understand it at the time unable to see what Okada was seeing within her then, when they had first met, about her fate and future destiny, but Jack could see it now. See why the man gave her that name as she was 'The 'Courageous Warrior' of life and vitality, a warrior who had taken life and given it, had a burning inside her that could mean warmth or danger and had seen both sides of her in that regard.

"For how long?" Jack asked with thick voice of emotion also fearing this answer.

"Until she's ready to return." Irina answered softly with her dark eyes holding to his knowing that it would most likely be, quite some time.

"And you?" Jack asked just as softly reaching over the bed and Lena with his other hand meeting hers' with fingers linking not wanting to let her go.

"I'm going to stay with her for as long as I can…at least a month." She swallowed hard and watched him do the same, knowing the separation was going to be torture. "When I speak with Vladimir and make the arrangements I'm going to tell him that if I'm absolutely needed in Russia I'll come back otherwise I'll do what I always do when I'm out of country." She gave him a soft smile, "If I have to meet with someone I'll arrange for them to come to Kyoto." She added softly and he nodded thinking about nearby city he'd been to many times before in his life. "My only concern about this is Nadia."

"I was just thinking about her." Jack added softly playing with her fingers nervously, "She needs you, too."

"I know…" Irina's eyes formed tears at being torn between the two though she had little choice but to drastically intervene now that Lena had almost lost her life again because she simply didn't care whether or not she lived anymore and was no longer about anything outside the grief consuming her. "I'll ask her to come with me, us…but I know she's going to decline…she won't leave Nikolas." She gave him a small smile and he nodded.

"I'll talk to her…and I'll talk to Sydney, too…you're both going to have to watch her closely, Jack…you know the signs to look for." She added softly knowing he did from dealing with her when she was going through the same when she first returned and refused to talk about Kashmir and then after the second trip and round of horror. The signs of exhaustion from not sleeping due to nightmares, not eating and pulling away from everyone. "If you think she's falling into dangerous territory…call me right away and I'll come back."

"I will." Jack nodded lifting her hand and kissing her fingers, "I'm going to miss you so much it hurts already just thinking about it." It would be the longest time they had been separated in almost nineteen years.

"As I you…" She cupped his face with tears flowing silently from his eyes. "I need to go make arrangements and set up the press conference to address the nation on my absence and Lena's." She sighed and he nodded in understanding, kissing her palm before letting her pull her hand away.

"What are you going to say?" Jack asked while Irina stood and leaned over kissing Lena's forehead and then lips.

"That I'm taking Lena away for a while to Japan as she needs time away to grieve for the loss of her Antony and her son. After everything she's been through since October I think they'll understand." She shook her head at the tremendous amount of stress Lena had been under constantly since that night in Havana when Nadia was raped and Lena went to jail.

"They will. They want what's best for her too." Jack smiled at Irina softly.

Nadia declined to come because of not wanting to leave Nikolas as Irina knew she would and promised her youngest daughter they would talk every day and Nadia understood, knowing how desperately Lena needed her right now after being scared to death that Lena could have died with her grief in the snow. Irina made her promise that if she needed her, she would call her and talk to her and if need be, ask that she come home and she would and would not hold back her own needs worrying about those of anyone else.

Nadia promised unable to say no and assured her mother that after talking with her all the time about what had happened, had done as she said and began to heal the wounds letting her take back some of her control bit by bit and she was now comfortable even talking about it a little with Nicholas and had to Sydney as well. Irina couldn't help but smile with watery tears when hugging Nadia, her daughter had promised to 'take care of Daddy' as well, knowing that Jack was going to be miserable without her mother.

"Sydney," Irina sat down with her oldest as the last of her children to address that evening planning on taking Lena away in the morning just after she woke up and not even returning to the palace, everything would be waiting already packed and on the plane ready for their departure and they would all say their 'goodbyes' to her tonight while Lena was unconscious knowing her enough to know that she would only feel more guilty right now at seeing their sadness in her departure and for making them worry so.

"Nadia told me that she's been talking to you about what happened to her?" She paused and Sydney nodded softly with concerned eyebrows, "She's been moving forward at a steady pace in healing and I don't want that to stop or slow down so will you please, for me…keep talking to her, at least once everyday just the two of you, lie in bed with her at night if need be like I do with her and talk…keep her talking.

"I will. I promise…I'll take care of her, Mom." Sydney gave her a small smile standing up and hugging Irina with the two holding each other tightly for a long time.

"Thank you…I feel better leaving her knowing that she has you taking care of her." Irina kissed her cheeks and held her again. "You helped me in so many ways…and I know you'll do the same for your sister." She cried and then Sydney did too thinking about all that they had gone through together.

"And I'll look after Dad, too…he's going to be miserable without you." Sydney added with a smile pulling back to look at her mother with a soft knowing laugh.

"Nadia told me the same thing…I feel even better knowing that the both of you are taking care of him for me." Irina smiled sadly feeling more tears building and falling, "I'm going to miss him terribly as well…all of you." She added looking at Sydney and then reaching for her and hugging her tightly again, never liking to be away from them very long. "This is the longest I'll have been separated from you since you rescued me from Sloane's compound in Morocco when I was pregnant with Lena."

"I was just thinking about that, too." Sydney cried softly not liking it at all. "A major snuggle slumber party will be in order for us all when you return." She laughed softly. "Daddy will just have to wait one more night to have you back and all to himself." She wiped at her tears when she pulled back, "I don't care if that makes me sound like a whining petulant child."

Irina laughed softly with her looking at her daughter and smiling thinking about the slumber parties they still had a couple of times a month having made it tradition over the last eighteen years and one that all the females in the family loved. Sometimes they were just she and Sydney or she and Lena or Nadia and sometimes it had been all three of them with her and at other times it was 'all' of them, every female being in their family all snuggled together laughing and smiling for hours into the night. They hadn't had one of those since October and their world shifted off axis and the idea of having one after Lena was ready to come home sounded wonderful.

"I would love to." Irina kissed her and hugged her once more, unable to get enough knowing it was going to be a long time.

* * *

_***Idylls' End***_

"What happened?" Lena asked with a thick voice when she awoke in the morning looking around the hospital room and not remembering how she got there. Her mother had been sleeping with her head face down in her folded arms leaning over Lena's bed and awoke with Lena's gentle hand to the back of her head.

"You passed out in the snow at the ruins…" Irina spoke softly taking her hand and blinking back tears while she kissed it and wrapped her fingers around Lena's, "We didn't know you were out there and by the time we found you…some hours had passed and you were severely hypothermic."

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to." Lena answered looking away with tears building rapidly; the thought something like that could happen had never crossed her mind last night though she 'knew' better.

"I know you didn't…but you almost died, Sweetheart." Irina spoke softly with voice full of emotion and watched as Lena stare unblinking at the bedrail to what she said and Irina's heart clenched as did Jack's sitting at the end of the bed when they both saw the look pass over her face and eyes that had held what they feared; Lena had wished she did.

"I'm sorry to scare the both of you…I'll be more careful next time. I just wasn't thinking." Lena answered in almost a whisper knowing she couldn't look at her mother while speaking, not wanting to see the fear she held in her eyes for her and knew was there.

"There isn't going to be a next time, Lena… I'm taking you away." Irina spoke softly and Lena's head and eyes flashed to hers' in an instant.

"Where?" Lena asked in a gasp with the tears falling from her face in fear at being 'sent away.'

"To Nara…just you and me…give you a chance to grieve in peace and find yourself again." Irina held her hand tightly seeing the fear flash across her daughter's face.

"How can I find myself again when I don't know who I am anymore?" Lena asked with a choked voice and narrowed eyebrows with sadness and anger.

"That's why were going away…so you can figure that out. Concentrate solely on healing 'you' as you're what is most important." Irina kissed her hand, "You're not being sent away for anything you've done wrong… We just want to help you…and I'm not going to leave you. I'll be with you, just as I promised before."

* * *

_Nara, Japan- March 1st, 2021_

"You are angry with _The Red Warrior_ for bringing you here." Sensei Okada spoke quietly filling both of their tea cups when they sat facing each other on the mats with the incense burning around them and the sun setting just outside the massive open doorway illuminating Irina's body on the horizon into a silhouette.

Lena's eyes flashed to the doorway looking at her mother as she moved fluidly in the distance with beautiful grace and swallowed hard that if it had been so obvious for him to see it that her mother undoubtedly felt and saw it as well and was probably the reason for her workout right now.

"She carried the same anger inside her when she first arrived all those years ago." The old man spoke quietly with a tone that held his many years of wisdom that when he spoke people listened. "A darkness inside her that was unlike any I'd ever seen. She was waiting and wishing for death to take her away from the pain and burning anger she carried within for years…having lost everyone she loved, she couldn't look towards tomorrow only back at yesterday."

He sipped his tea and motioned for Lena to do the same, "I first met _The Red Warrior_ after an assassin had almost succeeded in taking her life. Looking into her eyes, I could see that she was angry he hadn't." His eyes met with Lena's and saw the same anger for the same reasons in her own eyes, yet were her mothers'. "She had lost her way and no longer knew who she was or her place in this world. I look at you now, Lena and see the same anger in your eyes that death did not find you and that you have lost your way."

Lena swallowed her tea hard with hand shaking and eyes holding to his before flashing away that he had been able to read her so clearly. Silence fell over the two of them as they drank their tear and Sensei looked at her intently while she looked away and then spoke,

"I knew of your birth before you were ever conceived of the flesh." The old man poured more tea and saw the look of surprise on Lena's face and also disbelief, "I saw you as the flicker of light in your mother's heart… just as I see the birth of another…" He looked up and into her eyes, "When I look at you." He saw the instant flood of tears cover her eyes before she looked down quickly trying to mask her emotion. "I never told your mother of what I saw to come for her," His gaze turned softly to look at Irina fighting masterfully with the other monks as they circled around her, "But I knew that if she did not find her way…you would never be born, you would never have the chance to fulfill your great destiny and she would never have the chance to fulfill her own." He gave her a soft smile and more silence ensued for a moment leaving Lena to think about this. "If you do not find your way, Lena, the one I see in your heart… will never be born and fulfill their great destiny either."

Lena swallowed hard at the thought of having another child when her heart ached so much for the one that was lost.

"You are forever linked, connected and of the same heart." His gaze went back to Irina and Lena's followed while listening, "Flesh born of flesh, in a chain never to be broken if you live out your destinies that fate has planned for you. This pain and sadness you are facing now is necessary in fulfilling your destiny, as was your mother's in fulfilling her' own." He finished sadly remembering the pain in Irina when they'd first met. He moved to refilling Lena's tea when he looked away from Irina.

"Why Sensai? Why is this pain and sadness necessary and why was it for her?" Lena sobbed in anger for them both and angry that he was speaking of such things to her when she didn't want to believe them.

"Sometimes we must lose everything, to gain everything; and lose ourselves, to truly find ourselves." He spoke quietly again sitting back slightly and holding her dark eyes intensely, "In life there are things we don't want to happen… but must accept, things we don't want to know… but must learn and people we can't live without… but must let go."

Lena sobbed with the images of Antony and her baby flashing before her dropped her head.

"Listen to The Red Warrior, for her honor will never lead you from the path that must be taken, Lena." His eyes and Lena's went back to looking at Irina who was in stance with her staff having just fended of those surrounding her and waiting for them to attack again. "You were the light that led her from her darkness towards the path she had to take… and now it is your turn to follow her courage from your darkness.

"What if I don't want to?" Lena asked him in a whispered cry; wanting to die and never leg go of them.

"You will break the chain and divert your mother from her destiny…rob yourself of fulfilling your own and in doing so, the child I see in your heart… will cease to exist and her destiny never fulfilled." He answered her quietly with a sad expression. "The whole world will change and be effected if your mother does not complete hers', and more so without yours' and that of the child who has yet to be born."

Lena cried in thinking about how her own life and what she did with it would change those connected to her so profoundly and everyone else; in disbelief her life would matter so much. "I don't know how…" She whispered in a cry shaking her head to hold back from sobbing.

"Letting them go does not mean banishing them from your heart. It means you let go of their physical presence and carry their spirit with you always. Draw strength from them and that which you have overcome…like your mother," He nodded towards Irina again who had become the strongest person the world had ever known from overcoming so much in her life. "You must channel your grief into the fuel that will carry forward into your destiny."

Lena listened while crying silently and he decided to lay it out to show how one person affects the others,

**_*To Know My Enemy*_**

"I never told your mother, but if _The Red Warrior_ had never found her way, she would have died long ago." He spoke quietly and Lena's head snapped up to meet his eyes and then flashed to Irina outside feeling the fear at hearing such.

"Your father would have died shortly there after, with the two of them never reuniting. Your sister Sydney's destiny would never be fulfilled, her life's path altered with none of her children ever being born having never met her husband now. Your brother Julian would have died a violent death at an early age in the dark with the rage inside him from your mother's death and abandonment of him."

Lena sobbed softly trying to bite it back imagining a world like this, "You would never have been born and your siblings whom shared your mother's womb wouldn't have either. Millions more would be dead without the cures that your mother's blood provided and her sister would have succumbed to the cancer she was saved from."

He paused for a only a moment watching the flood of emotions run through her eyes and went on, "Nuclear world wars would be waging without your mother's leadership with Russia never secured and saved; her leadership of the free world wouldn't exist and countries fighting violently would erupt for the riches contained within Russia first, and then all around the world as a new conquering approach took form with resources being lost."

Lena's eyes widened with horror at the thought with a tremble rushing through her.

"The quality of human life would drop dramatically from such living conditions with disease and sickness from the nuclear fallout and the sale of human beings would determine a countries wealth eventually… if she hadn't stopped the Black Market sales…and finally the end of all life as we know it with the fallout from the chain reaction that would not be stopped."

He watched Lena gulp with torrential tears pouring from her eyes. "So you see…she is _The Chosen One_ for a reason." He nodded softly, "One life affects everyone, we are all connected…her life matters as does yours. She found her way, she found her happiness and fate is continuing to lead her towards fulfilling her destiny." He smiled watching Irina, as the sun was barely visible now over the horizon. "You will find your way, Lena, and your happiness and fate will continue to lead you towards fulfilling your destiny as well." He turned his soft smile back to her. "I will leave you alone now with your thoughts."

The old man pushed himself up off the ground with his walking stick and shuffled away into the darkened portions of the monastery leaving Lena alone. She sat staring at the incense burning down for quite some time until the sun had completely set and then stood, walking outside and looking up at the full moon. Her feet began to move her forward a few paces and then she bolted across the lawn as fast as she could with raging tears spilling from her eyes.

She ran on and on with everything the old man had said to her and then the images of the past she could not let go of flying through her mind…When she reached the clearing in the trees she dropped to her knees and head hung in defeat she cried and then looked up at the moon, screaming in anger and anguish that echoed through the mountains and could be heard for miles away.

Irina had been sitting with Okada speaking without saying a word in the silence while drinking their tea and both heard the anguished scream and the flight of the startled birds from Lena's cry. Both of their minds flashing back in time to Irina doing the same upon her arrival and Irina closed her eyes with head dropping slowly forward as the tears left her eyes.

The next morning Lena was up at the first light of day and in formation with the others as they went through their exercises continuing on what she had been doing with her mother before they left Russia. Irina was right by her side though the two had yet to speak since their arrival and every so often their eyes would meet, hold and then Lena would look away with tears in her eyes.

As the days, weeks, and months passed the tension got worse before it got better as Lena began to fight through her pain. If Lena ran, Irina was' beside her silently supporting just as she promised, holding her when she needed to cry and fighting her when she needed the physical release as she slowly began to let go of the anger and began to turn her grief into the fuel to move her forward.

Irina had stayed with her for a month and a half before returning to Russia for a week in the middle of April to be there for Sydney and Anya's birthdays and see her family she had missed so dearly before returning to Japan to be with Lena. Day by day and hour by hour Lena moved forward in her healing and as the time passed her skills had increased as well. Irina stayed with her one more month before leaving in the middle of May, needing to return to Russia for the anniversary of the Coronation and had felt confident enough in leaving Lena. Her daughter had progressed tremendously in her grief and Lena encouraged her to return to their family and country, having been away long enough and promising Irina that she would return when she was ready and she felt she could only do that, truly, on her own in the last step of this part of her journey.

* * *

In the middle of June, Irina got the call that Lena was ready to return. She flew back to Nara to get her and while there, watched Lena fighting with the warrior monks one last time, then herself and finally Sensei Okada who announced that Lena was ready and gave her the name The Light Warrior. He said that her name's meaning was appropriate as she had an energy inside of her that produced the sensation of brightness that made seeing possible. Her light had broken through the darkness and slowly it would continue to dissipate that darkness as time went on.

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Alexander Palace_

_***The Whistle Stop Cafe***_

Irina looked over at Lena sitting beside her in the back of the limo when they pulled up in front of the palace after returning from Japan. Lena had been away for three and a half months. When she left the landscape was covered with ice and snow and upon her return, everything was green and bright and teaming with life again.

Irina reached over the space between them and squeezed Lena's hand, "Are you ready?" She asked quietly and Lena turned her head to look at her mother and nodded with a soft smile in thinking about seeing her family waiting inside for her.

"I'm ready." Lena answered softly and exited the car. She found her mother's hand again before walking into the palace.

"Welcome home, Tsarevicha." Dmitri smiled at her with tears in his eyes hugging her tightly when they stepped inside. "We've all missed you so much." He kissed her cheek and cupped them smiling at her with tear filled eyes of happiness.

"I've missed you too, Papa." She smiled in turn speaking softly.

"They are all out back and eager to see you." Dmitri motioned them to follow as he led them back and towards the kitchen.

Everyone was there as he said, all laughing and smiling enjoying the warm summer day and it was Lara who spotted them first.

_"Lena!"_ She squealed with delight and came tearing over on rapid feet towards them as they exited the palace.

Everyone's head whipped around to follow her and many instantly had tears of happiness in their eyes to see her again.

Lara had hurled herself at her aunt and Lena didn't hesitate to hug her with a smile of her own and large tears forming as she lifted Lara off her feet hugging her so tightly.

"I missed you so much!" Lara announced with arms wrapped tightly around Lena's neck. "You were gone a really long time!"

"I missed you too," Lena smiled at those over Lara's shoulder she saw moving towards them. "You're going to have to tell me all about what you've been doing since I was away." She kissed Lara and set the girl on her feet again.

"Peanut," Jack spoke softly smiling at her with tears in his eyes at seeing her, having missed her so much and looking at her now, and seeing her well.

Lena immediately stepped forward and flung her arms around him holding tightly with silent tears running from her eyes and Jack smiled over her shoulder at Irina whose own face was smiling and marred with tears.

Nicholas was next in line and he grabbed her forcefully, picking her up and swinging her around in a bear hug making her laugh, a sound they hadn't heard since her birthday seven months ago and instantly had everyone surging with tears of happiness to hear it again.

After everyone had welcomed her home and the anxious chatter of the little girls talking to her excitedly died down, everyone moved inside to prepare for dinner and Lena stayed outside, sitting on the garden bench and watching the butterflies dance around in the flowers.

"Do you think she's really ready?" Jack asked Irina quietly coming up behind his wife and wrapping his arms around her shoulders kissing her head lovingly. Irina had been watching Lena from behind the French Doors in the kitchen in silence for quite some time after they re-entered the house, always the protective mother.

"Yes…I do." Irina nodded softly, "She still has a long ways to go…but she's jumped the gorge of despair and is moving on." Her words died off softly with new tears in her eyes watching as Lena got up and started picking flowers and they both knew where she was going.

* * *

_***Walkaway***_

Irina had waited a half hour before going to find her daughter and smiled seeing the flowers she had placed on Nana's grave beside the lake not far from where they'd pulled her out of the frozen water after saving Lena's life. She walked on and spotted Lena in the field of gorgeous wild flowers beside the ruins. Her daughter was kneeling over the grave now healed with new grass and the flowers she'd picked for them now lay before her in front of the tombstone that had been placed earlier in the spring.

Irina could see the silent tears rolling from Lena's eyes with wisps of her long hair blowing around her face as she approached. Without saying anything, she offered Lena her hand and her daughter accepted. Once standing Irina pulled her into a hug and held her while she cried softly for a moment and then pulled back, wiping at her tears and smiled at her mother. "Thank you…for everything...for being there when I needed you." She whispered with a cracked voice of emotion having yet to thank her mother for taking her away and saving her life in more ways then one. "I love you, Mama…to the moon and back, more then the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth…forever and always, I love you."

Irina hiccupped on her cry with a smile before pulling Lena back in for another hug, "I love you, Sweetheart…forever and always…and I'm always here when you need me, always." She promised kissing her and smiling when she pulled back. "Let's go." Irina linked her fingers with her own and the two walked slowly off through the field of purple flowers back towards the palace.

Lena threw herself back into school and work and her Imperial duties with Irina involving her more and more and everyone had noticed the tremendous difference in her.

* * *

_***I'll Be Seeing You***_

The only night she worried them was the anniversary of the night that Antony had first climbed onto her balcony and the conception of their baby. She had seemingly been okay for the majority of the day and when night came she had disappeared. They all knew where she was and it was Jack and Irina who set off together, hand in hand to find her.

As they neared the ruins they could hear the hauntingly familiar tune coming from behind the brick walls and Jack had instant flashes of Irina in Berlin the night she was almost killed by the assassin. He flashed his eyes over to her and saw the tears streaming from her eyes as they kept walking and knew she was thinking about it too, how miserable she'd been without him and trying to convince herself she never loved him.

When they rounded the corner quietly they caught sight of the hundreds of little white candles lit everywhere illuminating the space beautifully and Lena was leaning back against a stack of pillows on a blanket at the altar, crying as she looked up the sky above, a wine bottle clutched in her hand. Her eyes flashed down to them and cried more. The path as they walked up the aisle was covered with dried rose petals that had been hidden from their site under the protective snow covering and their hearts broke knowing they had once been a brilliant and romantic red.

"He liked dancing to the classic love songs." Lena smiled at them through her tears when they both knelt down beside her, "Right there." She motioned with pained tears surging from her eyes towards the spot just behind them at the space where the aisle ended and all the benches had been pushed back. "I can still see him smiling and laughing offering me his hand."

She wiped at her tears, "We'd dance out here for hours…just us." She sighed and held up her bottle of wine that was half empty. "I'm not drinking to get drunk if that's what you're worried about…I would have used vodka for that. This…" She sloshed the bottle around looking at it, "This is just to toast what was and will never be again." Her fingers were caressing the sapphire and diamond necklace around her neck.

"You will see them again someday, Sweetheart." Irina reached out wiping her daughter's tears with her fingers and then pushing her hair behind her ear with tears spilling from her own eyes.

"I see them all the time now…everywhere. " Lena sighed deflated.

"Their memory will never leave you." Irina ran her hand soothingly up and down Lena's forearm, "It's how you see them though, that matters. You mustn't let them haunt you…but smile at the memory and remember it fondly and the time you had together."

"I do…now…for the most part." Lena wiped at the tears from the other eye, "It's just some times I miss them so much I want more then just the memory…I can't physically hold the memory of them and that's what I want right now."

"I know, Sweetheart." Irina reached out and held her tightly, pulling Lena up against her, "I know I'm not the same but you can hold me when ever you need to be held…always." She whispered with tears in her voice and Lena returned the hug ferociously crying that her mother understood it so well and needing to be held.

Jack took the bottle from Lena's hand that was sloshing around behind Irina and set it of the floor before holding them both tightly.

Before leaving they all toasted to them taking a swig of wine from the bottle and sharing one of their favorite memories Antony that made them smile and laugh. It was successful even if the tears still fell.


	65. Chapter 65

_**AN: Finally, things are looking up!**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Thessaloniki **_**by ****Vasilis Tsitsanis**, _**Push **_**by Sarah McLachlan**_**, **__**Don't Let Go **_**by Bryan Adams with Sarah Mclachlan**_**, **__**Song Bird **_**by Eva Cassidy**_**, **__**Feel Good Inc. **_**by Gorillaz**_**, **__**Song Number 2 **_**(Woo-hoo!) by Blur,**___**Sex Drive **_**by Paul Oakenfold (Bjork)**

* * *

SIXTY-FIVE

o

**_*Thessaloniki*_**

_Thessaloniki, Greece- July 2021_

Nadia had accompanied Nikolas back to Greece for two-weeks having been invited by his parents, Kristin and Orion to go come to their home in Thessaloniki in the northern part of Greece. The city was spectacularly beautiful with a rich history that Nadia was fascinated having much to do with Alexander the Great whom she was currently obsessed with in her studies, taking up the interest he had in ancient civilizations.

The city was named for his sister Thessaloniki with museums galore dedicated to Alexander's conquests of the world, that the two spent a great deal of time wandering around in and visiting the sites. Nikolas loved to see the look in her eyes when discovering a new treasure and hear her laugh come so easily now. It had been a long hard road for the both of them and had struggled their way through but felt there bond unbreakable now.

Nadia felt comfortable in talking to Nikolas about what happened to her whenever she was upset or disturbed by something that brought about a flashback or her own struggles within herself to fight beyond it. Her cast had come off just before Lena had left them that winter and months of physical therapy followed to rebuild the muscle strength that was almost none-existent after being incased in a cast for almost eight months. She went back to the gym, eager to get back into gymnastics and thrilled to be working with her coaches again. While her arm was nonfunctional, she had still gone to the gym to coach her class of tumblers and early gymnasts who were overjoyed with her return. Seeing them and spending time with the innocent again was therapeutic and Nikolas loved seeing this side of her, the childish joy and enthusiasm she had whenever she was around the children. Her first troubles began in the beginning of May when her arm began to ache and then, the issue with stress fractures arose.

The thought that she may never be able to do gymnastics again was a crushing blow but she was determined to find a way. The top orthopedic specialists in sports medicine were called in and began working with her on developing a support structure that would fend off the stress fractures while still letting her use the arm the way she needed to.

A glove- sleeve was developed without fingers or a thumb that she slid up over her arm, all the way to her elbow and the strong material fibers it was made from supported her arm almost like a cast but allowed some flexibility. The varying degrees of the strength differed at various points in the fabric depending on where she needed the most support and so far, it seemed to be working.

"My parents adore you." Nikolas smiled happily when they returned to their suite portion of the house from having dinner with his parents and older sisters. "I think they may like you more then me even." He laughed grabbing her by the waist softly and turning her into his arms pressing his forehead to hers while she wrapped her arms lazily around his neck.

"Awe…" She smiled at him with a soft laugh finding him entirely adorable. "I adore them too." Nadia leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, "Thank you for inviting me…I am having a wonderful time."

"I had to invite you… I couldn't imagine being away from you for two whole weeks." He laughed softly, "And when I heard you'd never been to Thessaloniki it became a must…I'm glad you're having a good time."

"I always have a good time when I'm with you." She smiled, "I especially love hearing the stories about you when you were little." She laughed and he groaned shaking his head, "The image of you at three years old covered in mud and running naked through the State Dinner for the President of the United States will make me laugh for some time to come."

"What is it with parents and feeling the need to share our most humiliating childhood moments?" He laughed shaking his head thinking about his mother and father's joy in embarrassing him by telling Nadia those stories with the entire table laughing hysterically and throwing in information to further tell the tales, "Promise me we won't do that to our children?" He smiled laughing and caught the look in her eye and the way her face stilled, "What?"

"Our children?" Nadia repeated with a soft smile and hope fluttering in her heart, "You've thought about having children with me?"

"Of course." He smiled radiantly hearing the awe in her voice; "I can see them all in my mind and have for a long time."

"All?" She laughed softly with her heart skipping around to hear him say he'd thought about it for a long time, "How many is all?"

"Well, I'm Greek and we're baby breeding machines." He laughed when her eyebrows rose, "You've seen how large my family is with five older sisters and me and we're the smallest family in my entire family. I have so many first cousins you've yet to meet it will make your head spin…though maybe not because your family size rivals mine." He laughed brushing the hair behind her ear, "There are two things that Greeks love: Eating and making babies… Big families with lots of love." He smiled knowing her family was the same having seen the love first hand and how they took care of each other, "I see us having at least six."

"Six?" Nadia's eyebrows rose slightly.

"Well it could always be more with the way twins run in your family and considering you're one," He kissed her lips quickly rambling on loving the look on her face while he teased her, "And twins don't count towards the total…they count as one even if they're separate people because the count is more for how many times you're pregnant and give birth…Greek men are obsessed with the body of a woman in all its beauty which is why there are so many sculptures to honor such Goddess."

He smiled nodding towards the sculpture of the naked woman next to the balcony doors with a soft laugh, "And no naked female body is more beautiful to us then that of a pregnant one…especially one we helped in making that way." He added softly with a smile kissing her lips. "And I can't help it…some times my mind drifts off and thinks about the future and imagines this gorgeous body of yours glowing while carrying our baby inside…I can see her smile and hear his little deviant laughter…I can see all of them. The perfect combinations of you and me."

Nadia was overcome with emotion as happy tears built in her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat staring into his eyes, "She has your eyes and he has your mouth." Her eyes darted to his lips that turned into smile at realizing she had pictured them too.

"Our future is bright." He whispered softly with a smile and kissed her again, wiping the tears with his thumbs and then pulled back. "It was a year ago tonight that you came to my parents house in Athens…that you first took my breath away when I saw you sitting there and your gorgeous smile in the best surprise I've ever had in my life." He pulled back cupping her neck gently with thumbs tracing along the sides of her jaw.

"If you would have told me then that a year later, we'd be standing here like this," He kissed her lips again with a smile, "That I'd be kissing you any time I wanted and every," He kissed her again, "Chance I get…I would have…I don't know what I would have done." He finished laughing and she did too, kissing him in turn, "I probably would have screamed with joy and danced around like an idiot making an ass out of myself but I wouldn't care. Because I'd know that I have you…and you're all that matters."

He leaned down and kissed her again gently, "I'm going to go find some champagne down stairs to celebrate. Why don't you get in the hot tub and start relaxing without me." They'd planned to take a dip in the hot tub upon returning to their room after an exhausting day of trekking through the mountains to secluded ruin spots in the immense heat on an extraordinarily hot day. "Do you want anything else why I'm down there? More of my mother's famous cheesecake perhaps?" He laughed softly.

"If I eat any more I'm going to explode." Nadia laughed with her hand going over her belly, "Everyone in your family keeps trying to feed me all the time."

"I warned you before we got here they would." He laughed softly, "Nothing says they love you more then shoving food in your face." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I'll be back."

_***Push***_

Nadia took a deep breath standing in front of the bathroom mirror tying the white robe around her waist and smiled hearing him calling to her from the hot tub already. She turned with hand on the door and closed her eyes, taking another breath and letting it go slowly.

"Finally!" Nikolas smiled at her amidst the bubbling water when she emerged, "I was beginning to wonder if I needed to come in there and play the white knight routine and save you from bathroom." He laughed watching her walk slowly across the large set of rooms towards him. "Probably not the best idea to open champagne in a hot tub," He pressed vigorously with his thumbs against the stubborn cork, "The heat makes the cork swell."

He smiled at her and eyes went wide watching when she slowly took her robe off and exposed her completely naked form and the cork burst, flying through the air as he gulped when she stepped into the swirling water. "Ah…whatcha' you doin'?" His English became slurred while she slowly glided through the water inch by inch towards him.

Nadia didn't answer only took the bottle of champagne from him and poured a flute full for each, handing his to him and then taking a sip of her own before setting it aside. Nikolas followed her lead though downed the entire flute in one gulp knowing she was so near him and completely naked and he couldn't stop his arousal with his attraction to her. They'd both been fighting it off for so long always stopping just before they went too far and since that morning in October when he kissed away her pain, he hadn't seen her fully naked.

She reached through the water taking his hand and pulled him to the center of the large pool of hot water seemingly growing hotter by the minute with the electric current passing between them. When he obliged her she looked into his eyes for a long moment and hands cupped the side of his face and neck, bringing his lips to her own kissing him softly.

Her lips danced delicately with his in light touches before their tongues met in the briefest of contacts and his hands immediately went to her naked sides under the water when she pushed her tongue into his mouth and swept through it deepening the kiss.

His hands skimmed up her sides lightly and groaned with thumbs gliding lightly over the sides of her breasts and instinctively arching towards her pressing his lower body into hers with the deepening kiss and then quickly broke it off as had been standard over the last nine months when they hit the danger zone and Nadia grabbed his arm shaking her head.

"No…you've been more then patient with me this last year…" She spoke quietly holding his eyes and wanting him even more for always fighting off his own wants to put her needs first, "I'm ready." She pulled herself back closer to him with trembling body.

"But you're trembling…" Nikolas breathed in a whisper while his hands slid over her sides again.

"Not because I'm afraid…" Her eyes filled with tears as they continued to speak in hushed tones, "But because…I love you," She watched the instant tears flood his eyes and gasp softly. He'd told her he loved her since that first day in the barn but she had yet to tell him, even if he knew she felt it. "I love you…and I need you. All of you…I'm ready." Her voice cracked slightly with emotion and dark eyes piercing his.

"I love you…" Nikolas responded in almost a whisper and pulled her softly towards him with hand cupping her face and gently kissing her in turn. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Nadia pressed her aching body towards his with naked chest pressed to naked chest, "I need you…I want you." She moved in kissing him again with a bit of urgency and hands sliding down his sides to the waistband of his swim trunks under the water. "Off…" She whispered against his mouth with nose brushing softly against his own and he pulled back with eyes held to hers' and slid his shorts off under the water, holding up the soaking wet objects and threw them in a puddle beside the tub.

He waited for Nadia to make the move, knowing she needed to be in control of this, not knowing how far or how fast she was willing to go and didn't want to hurt or scare her. She reached up with her hands and slowly slid her hands up his biceps and over his shoulders cupping his neck once more and while pulling her body against his, fully naked against each other for the first time.

_***Don't Let Go***_

She felt his arousal already hard and pressing against her abdomen standing in the water that was chest deep in the middle. Her hand slid between them with trembles he couldn't see under the water and knew were there when she grasped him softly making him gasp softly and the tears fell from his eyes seeing the ones falling from her own.

She hadn't touched or been near any man since they'd used their bodies as weapons against her own and she was unconsciously making the connection in her mind that he was not them, and wouldn't use his body or member as a weapon to harm her.

Nadia's thumb brushed over his head feeling him growing impossibly hard in her hand and watched him swallow hard with a bead of water trickle into the hollow of his throat and leaned in, pressing their bodies together once more while she kissed it away with a languid stroke of her tongue, kissing up his neck and then holding his eyes before kissing his mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted herself, weightless in the water to wrap her legs around his waist, pressing his heat to her own in the sweltering water. His hands went to her hips and slid over her ass under the water and back up again, trailing his fingers in the indention of her spine in her lower back eliciting a soft gasp from her at his touch.

"Make love to me?" She asked in a whisper between their lips, which kept touching in light kisses with heads tilting back and forth. "I need to feel your love inside me." She added in the same whisper with tears still slowly falling from her eyes while rolling her pelvis softly against his, feeling his hardness against her crux.

Nikolas felt the surge of love for her sweep through him looking into her eyes and hearing her plea and kissed her once more while lifting her hips slowly against him under the water. Trembling with love and fear, wanting her so much and not wanting to hurt her he shifted himself to align with her entrance and took a deep breath rolling his hips slightly to nudge himself inside her just a little to prepare her for the invasion of her body once more and held her eyes.

Nadia gasp softly and nodded she was ready and he rolled his hips forward slowly once more while pushing her down against him and filled her slowly and completely with both trembling and panting for breath at the sensations.

He stilled completely when he could go no further inside her freezing the moment in time at their first complete joining and he could feel her heart pounding against his chest through her own. "Are you okay?" He asked with a voice full of emotion and reaching up with one watery hand to wipe the steady stream of tears flowing from her eyes and then kissed her lips softly.

"Yes." She gasped on an inhaled sob and rolled her pelvis against his slowly initiating their movement. Her body felt on fire with desire for the first time in a long time and kissed him softly while he pulled out slowly and then pushed back in savoring the contact that made them both moan softly in pleasure and wanting it to last after waiting so long to cherish her in the ways she deserved to be cherished.

"I love you." He whispered again reaching up to cup her face again with tears streaking from his eyes, "I love you." He repeated pulling out and thrusting slowly back in, gradually increasing their pace.

"And I love you." She cried knowing how true that was and feeling what making love felt like for the first time. His gentleness and her heart like it would explode with the love she had for him, the need to be one with him and lamenting the loss of his body inside her whenever he pulled out, she felt empty. Not wanting to be without him inside her completely for very long she thrust down while he trust up with urgency and he groaned feeling her tight core muscles grasp him powerfully and hold him there.

"God how I've wanted you." He gasped against her neck kissing over her throat and shoulder before finding her lips again. Nikolas knew he wasn't likely to last long with the build up tension he'd been fighting off for her over the last year in dreaming about this moment no matter how hard he fought it.

Her breaths became rapid pants and small gasps with tiny sounds of incoherent mumbles escaping the back of her throat feeling the nerves in her core being stoked towards explosion for the first time in more then a year and only heightened in their burning with her want of him and feeling him inside her; her muscles wrapping around him like a glove and memorizing his every contour and ridge every time he stole her breath. She felt herself about to shatter and tried to hold it back with a cry and a gasp.

_***Song Bird ***_

"Let go, Nadia…" Nikolas gasped in a whisper, "I'll catch you." He promised knowing why she was holding back in surrendering complete control to him and kissed her before she cried out and her body rocked with massive trembles against his while she fell, "I love you…I'm not letting you go." He promised whispering into her ear while continuing to drive into her and extending her pleasure feeling his own not far behind and then groaned with a jerk inside her with face buried into her sweaty neck while he erupted inside her and cried with the release of emotions in doing so. His face whipped up to hers' and immediately kissed her with their tears mingling against their cheeks while crying and kissing and continuing to move together.

Nadia continued to tremble and cry in his arms clasping the sides of his head and neck kissing his tears from his eyes with an overwhelming flood of emotions running through her. Nikolas pulled out and her lower body away, sweeping her legs up into his arms and kissed her deeply while stepping out of the hot tub and walking towards the bed. Gently he laid her in the center of the bed looking down at her and then climbed over her, wanting to pay homage to her whole body while he was rapidly recovering and preparing for the next round.

Their wet bodies sliding over each other with his fingers linking with hers,' hands beside her head while his mouth began kissing down her neck and softly over her collarbone and then slowly down the middle of her chest. "You're so beautiful." He whispered to her with tears dripping onto her chest seeing her skin once again perfect and soft with no traces of the devastation. His mouth kissed over the area it had once before and Nadia sobbed with a gasp at his gentleness and the way his mouth felt closing over one of her rigid little peaks while his thumb grazed over the other. "Are you okay?" He asked again wanting to make sure she was and she nodded.

He placed a kiss with swirling tongue between her breasts and drug it slowly down the midline of her torso with hands releasing from hers and gently gliding down her sides while he slowly shimmied down the bed and her body. His tongue following the taut and deep grooves of her abs that were more impressive then his own as a gymnast and smiled a soft teary smile kissing the spot below her belly at the thought that some day, he knew, their baby would be there and he wanted a future with her more then anything. He took a deep breath and heard Nadia's soft inhale of a sob in anticipation when he moved further south with his light kisses and gently spread her legs apart, kissing her inner thighs and then her center with tongue slowly sliding through her folds and tasting her scent for the first time.

Her hands found his and gripped tightly while the tears ran from her eyes into the pillow feeling her muscles tremble and gasped softly when his tongue swirled around her sensitive bud and then caught it gently with his teeth teasing and heightening her senses hearing her breath come more rapidly and then released it, sliding his tongue down once more circling her entrance, tasting her dripping sweetness and preparing her before slipping his tongue inside and stealing her breath.

His mouth was kissing her center as tenderly and with the same love as when he kissed her mouth and she cried at never feeling love like this before; this cherished, as he worshiped her body. Her breath came in rapid pants and fingers clenched more tightly to his, trembling and then gasping loudly with a strangled cry when she fell to his mercy once again with body quaking at his touch with legs quiver where they lay spread open to him. He kissed at her new rush of pleasure spreading the wetness and moaning softly feeling his own body groaning inside and aching to be inside the heat he tasted and slowly climbed back up over her body, dropping kisses to her heated flesh along the way and finding her mouth once more with both moaning softly.

Nikolas gently slid his hand behind her and gently pushed against her shoulder with loving eyes showing clearly his intent and she cried softly, surrendering to him completely with her trust and love and turned over onto her stomach. His hand sweeping her long hair with its wet tendrils off her back and kissing the top of her shoulder and then each blade before trailing the line of kisses down her spine.

Gently kisses and hands dancing tenderly over her flesh and eyes raking in her perfect form in all its beauty while settling his body between her legs and sitting on his knees. His strong hands sliding up her sides with shaft posed at her entrance and slid inside stealing her breath hearing her soft cry while he buried into her deeply with the new angle and then slowly sliding his hands further up her sides pulling her upright and back against him. Her legs spread over his and sitting in his lap she laced her fingers with his over her abdomen and held the arm now circling under her chest with her other tilting her head to the side giving him better access to her neck he was kissing while slowly rocking inside her with shallow thrusts in her deep heat encompassing him in body and soul.

The tears continuing to roll from his eyes at never having felt like this before; so complete and his' soul was weeping for uniting with its other half. Their linked hands slowly moving further down her slick body and pressing in against her muscles, pressing her tenderly inflamed nerves against his length within her making her gasp in a long breath and tremble slightly to feel the electricity and both groaned at feeling him moving inside her, bodies completely connected.

They kept moving at the torturously slow but deep pace until she quaked and rocked against him once more with a loud cry of ecstasy and the sound of her pleasure escaping her body pulled him over with her and once again erupted within Nadia surrounded by her grappling heat. He kissed her shoulder and up her neck, the spot before her ear and along her jaw using one hand to turn her face back and towards his to capture her mouth in a long slow kiss before moving them forward to lay down on their damp sheets and pulled out. His body curling behind hers on their' sides with legs and arms entwining while they came down with heaving chests and pounding hearts.

Nadia was crying softly in his loving embrace and turned beneath his arm to look into his eyes. "Thank you…and I love you… I love you…I love you…" She whispered with forehead pressed against his and faces centimeters apart, unable to say it enough now that she had. Her lips locked onto his and held with a soft cry.

* * *

_***The Whistle Stop Cafe***_

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Alexander Palace_

"You look wonderful." Irina smiled as she and Nadia walked outside together in the garden when Nadia returned from Greece. "I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time…its such a beautiful smile and I've missed it." She reached one hand up to brush against her daughter's tanned cheek. "Greece was good for you."

"Yes," Nadia answered softly still smile before her eyes filled with tears and her expression somber swallowing hard, "Mama…I'm okay now."

Irina stopped walking taking note of the change in demeanor and eyebrows narrowed slightly as she faced Nadia knowing there was more.

"I cleared the last hurdle… '_we_' cleared the last hurdle." Nadia choked out changing it to '_we_' to include Nikolas as he'd gone through this horrible journey with her; a teary smile forming on her face watching her mother's eyes fill with tears and smile knowing exactly what she was talking about, "And I'm okay."

Irina gasped softly with flooding tears palming Nadia's cheeks knowing what a monumental step that was after what she'd been through and that Nadia was confiding in her as she had never before about her intimate relationships. Their own relationship had changed so much in this regard sharing this horrible experience together had bonded them in a way only they understood; just as Irina's heart was bonded with Sydney's experiencing torture together and Lena's with the loss of their children. These experiences Irina shared with her girls she wished she never had, their bonds that had existed before had become unbreakable now because of them.

With a cry of mixed emotions she pulled Nadia into her, wrapping her arms around her neck and holding tightly while swaying slightly with tears and a soft laugh of relief when she pulled back and cupped her face again, "I love you, Sweetheart and I'm so happy for you…"

"And I am happy." Nadia smiled with new tears falling, "Being with him…" She shook her head softly looking down and then back up, "I now know what it feels like to be loved by someone in that way…and I '_did_' feel loved." She smiled with quivering voice and Irina pulled her close again with happiness that her daughter had finally been cherished the way she always should have been. To know what it's like to be loved instead of used.

They held each other crying softly with smiles and tears of relief and happiness for more then a few minutes. "Being with someone means all the more when you're in love with the person your giving your body to…the person whom already possesses your heart and soul." Irina cupped her cheeks again with a smile, "I always wanted that for you…you deserve to be loved and cherished." She cried softly through her smile, "I'm so happy that you're happy."

Later that evening when Nikolas came over for dinner, Irina gave him a tremendous hug, holding him tightly for longer then normal with tears in her eyes and pulled back cupping the side of his face with a smile and whispered, "Thank you for loving my daughter the way you do." She saw the flash through his eyes that she knew and wasn't upset, but happy and she was. The gorgeous young man in front of her had done what he had promised and stood by Nadia's side for the last nine months, through ups and downs and let her heal at her own pace without pushing. A rarity among young men his age and especially when he had been quite a sought after heart throb with girls throwing themselves at him all the time and he only saw Nadia and looking into his eyes now, this close, she saw how deeply he really did love her daughter.

She kissed his cheek and nodded softly her thanks and then let him go with Nadia smiling softly at him with teary eyes watching the exchange and then curling into his side leaning up softly to kiss him lightly on the lips before sitting down to eat at the table.

"What was that before dinner?" Jack asked Irina softly as they got ready for bed and he watched her slip into her nightgown. "What happened in Greece?" He'd seen the change in his daughter's eyes and smile and in his wife's after seeing her hug the Dark Prince as Jack called him all the time now.

Irina smiled softly turning around and walked towards him, wrapping her arms around his chest and pressing her body into his, kissing him lightly and then deeply.

"Are you trying to pull the 'kiss and distract' on me?" Jack asked with narrowed eyebrows and a smile to show he was teasing, "You haven't tried that in eighteen years."

"No, I'm not trying to distract you." Irina laughed softly running her fingers lightly over his strong jaw, "I just wanted to kiss you because I love you so much…your question sent a flood of emotions through me in that moment and I had to kiss you."

"So what happened in Greece that would cause such a flood in you?" He asked with a soft smile fingering her hair behind her ear while holding her to him with one arm.

"She cleared the last hurdle and told me she's okay now…and I know that she is." Irina answered softly staring into his eyes with tears forming from happiness in hers.'

"Cleared the last hurdle as in..." Jack stopped, thinking about what Irina's last hurdle had been and she nodded softly when she saw the realization in his eyes. "Oh." He added quietly. "I didn't even think about that…thought they had a while ago." Irina shook her head no softly, "Almost a year..." He was thinking aloud, "He really does love her, doesn't he?"

Jack had known that Nikolas had loved his daughter or at least cared for her deeply to move from Greece to Russia to be near her and stand by her side throughout this battle but to put it all together along with the knowledge the young man had waited patiently and gave his daughter the time and respect she needed and deserved, showed just how much Nikolas loved Nadia.

"Yes, very much." Irina nodded with a widening smile. "To find the kind of love that he'll stand by her side as walked through hell…like you held my hand when I did," She laced her fingers with his and cupped his cheek with the other, "Is why I felt the flood of emotions and had to kiss you…because I love you so much…more then you'll ever know, Jonathan."

"I told you I would go anywhere with you…follow you to the ends of the Earth; you're never alone…never again. By your side until the end." Jack gave her a soft smile leaning down to kiss her lips tenderly. "I love you, Irina…more then you'll ever know." His smile widened with a soft laugh at the word play and kissed her again.

* * *

_Moscow, Russia - August 2021_

_***Feel Good Inc.***_

When it was announced that the second wave of Imperial children plus one Greek Prince would be once again going through the Tsar's School of Badass Driving, the citizens of Moscow were overjoyed that she'd changed cities to 'spice things up' and now they were going to get to enjoyed the show. People were everywhere with banners and cheering as a gathering or a social event knowing Irina was going to be driving today as a show of what they were expected to do. This was a side of their Tsar they loved deeply; her wild abandon and freedom showing off her impressive skills though they all knew that was not her intent, only to teach her children, though intentional or not, she put on one hell of a show for them all.

Nikolas's parents, Kristin and Orion had flown up to Russia to watch and stay the week to see the 'show' as well and how their son would be taught and then perform this mastery skill of evasive driving, something they were equally thrilled that he was learning to do and terrified. They were going to be riding with Jack and Katya as they chased down Irina who would be driving with Jaxx, Eva, Ria and Mia crammed in the back and Kendall in the front with Irina, having been goaded severely being called a chicken until he gave in to ride with her.

Nikolas and Nadia would be riding with Sydney as Nadia had already been in the car with her mother's 'test drive' and all she needed to do now was pass the test with her arm free and clear. Nikolas couldn't be squished inside with Irina and everyone else and thus, was just fine riding in front with Sydney though he had no idea what he was in store for riding with her as she was almost as an insane driver as her mother. Vaughn was riding in back with Nadia and smiled brightly at her while they buckled up knowing she had waited a long time to finally get to drive on her own.

Julian and Weiss were once again together as a driving team with Judy and Karen riding along loving the exhilarating ride and dragging Ben along with them, insisting he 'must' be along to see Irina in action having missed the grocery store runs of their earlier years.

Everyone else was amp up in cheering squads with the rest of the Russian citizens having taken up residence in Irina's Imperial Office at the Kremlin knowing it was safe and protected and had one enormous wall of window looking down on Red Square where she would undoubtedly race through near where they were starting this race of evasion. Most of her staff in the building had been granted permission to watch as they all dropped massive hints they really wished they had a long lunch to watch her in 'action' and were all pressed against windows and on the rooftops and standing outside eating their lunches waiting for her to fly by. The former President Bush and First Lady Laura were also in attendance as well the Swedish royals who couldn't pass up the opportunity after hearing about the first driving class.

_***Song Number Two (aka Woo-hoo!)***_

"What are you doing?" Kendall asked quickly when Irina reached over the space between them and pulled hard on his seat belt.

"Making sure it's tight." She smirked at him and his eyes widened, clearly terrified to be in the car with her driving. Her attention went back to the road before her and waited for the light to turn green at the intersection just outside the city limits and then floored it whipping all their heads back with the cars ability to go from 0-80 in ten seconds.

Irina went flying around the cars in front of them as if they were standing still once more and tore across the six lanes of traffic narrowly missing many cars while flying around the corner and everyone in the back screamed making her laugh madly.

"You're insane!" Kendall gasped with sweat on his brow and she laughed harder flying over the bridge and getting air while everyone screamed again. "Hang on!" She warned whipping the wheel and they all screamed loudly seeing her intentions.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" Mia squealed holding on for dear life when her Godmother drove straight for the steep set of outdoor steps and then flew over them.

"Holy shit!" Jaxx screamed in delight leaning back.

"Jesus Christ!" Kendall gulped grabbing the handle above his head to hold on leaning back and felt Irina's backhand to the gut making him 'umph. "What was that for?" His eyes flashed to her while she kept hers' straight forward flying down the steps in the car slamming on the gas and brakes while shifting to turn immediately onto the street below.

"Babushka hates the J.C. curse." Eva informed him with a wild smile in her eyes enjoying every minute of this insane ride and screaming in joy where he was screaming in panic.

"Okay this is new." Sydney smiled amazed and stunned following her mother down the steps as the first car behind them and everyone in her car screamed and then laughed when they cleared the steps and the turn as well. "She's always coming up with something different." She laughed at her mother and sped up taking out a stand of vegetables with watermelon splattering their car in her pursuit.

Irina was zigging and zagging around the street and side walks making obstacles for them to pass in her' wake as they were very close behind and starting without a lead made it more tricky to get away. It was also quite humorous to look behind her and see eggs and smashed vegetables, with paper stuck all over their cars as she took out numerous things in her way.

_***Sex Drive***_

The citizens of Moscow roared with cheer as she passed and went tearing through Red Square while everyone in the Kremlin held their breath and then squealed in applause when she got to the other end in front of St. Basil's and whipped a full 180 degrees charging back at her pursuers and causing them to veer off out of her way when they turned too late and couldn't catch her.

"Show off." Jack laughed at his wife while spinning wildly in a circle behind her with Kristin and Orion holding on for dear life with wide-eyes in this exhilarating rush.

The thrill ride came to a screeching halt with screams as Irina went tearing through the train yard and jumped a loading ramp, slamming on the brakes coming to a stop in a rear loading train car just as the train left the loading dock.

"We're moving!" Kendall gasped over at her and then flung his head around to look behind them out of the dark car to see the loading bay getting smaller behind them.

"Well at least we're not going to Hong Kong." Irina laughed, "I know this train stays inside Russia…course it could go to Siberia." She added as a tease and burst out laughing at the priceless look on his face.

"Now what?" Ria asked with wide eyes seeing they had obviously lost her pursuing father, aunt and grandfather.

Irina called Jack on the phone quickly; "Give up?" She asked coyly seeing them not that far behind them looking lost at losing sight of her.

"Yes." Jack laughed softly, while driving around in the trains following the rails and unable to spot her anywhere. "Where are you?" He heard Irina's laughter and then the click of the phone.

Irina tossed her phone at Kendall, "Hang on, this is going to be bumpy." She waggled her eyebrows at him and threw her arm over the back of the seat looking behind her out the back of the open train car speeding down the rails and floored it in reverse while they all screamed.

"Good God!" Orion gasped seeing the black car come flying out of the back of the train beside them, seeing the kids in the back screaming and Kendall, and Irina smiling with a wave while they hit the ground with a bouncing thud passing them backwards.

"If evasive driving was an Olympic event, you'd win the Gold, Babushka!" Jaxx laughed hysterically.

Eva was the last behind the wheel to take and pass her test and it was clear from the moment of 'Go' the girl was more like Irina in driving then any before.

She tore through the streets with ease and grace gaining quite a lead on those pursuing them and had everyone in her car screaming including Irina when Eva headed straight for the stairs leading down into the subways.

"What are you doing?" Jaxx screamed with panic leaning back as people scattered out of the way and cheered to see their car flying down the steps going underground.

"Losing them." Eva laughed deviant like and bit her lower lip just like Irina always did and cranked the wheel tearing through the boards and yellow caution tape into the tunnel still under construction.

Irina's head whipped to the side in the passenger seat with white knuckles clutching the doorframe and utterly amazed at Eva's quick thinking and fearlessness.

Sydney and Vaughn were both screaming in panic when she flew down into the subway and even more when she ramped off the edge and into the dark tunnel. "What the hell is she doing?" Vaughn screamed that his little girl was going to get herself killed and everyone in the car with her.

"I don't know! But Mom would make her stop if she thought it too dangerous." Sydney's heart was pounding and had firm belief in her mother to take care of her daughter.

"She's good." Lena flashed a wide astounded smile over to her father riding along with him revealing her famous smile to him for the first time in almost a year and he momentarily lost track of what he was doing and had to snap out of it chasing Sydney and Eva with Julian behind he, Lena, Katya and Dmitri who was along for this ride.

The tunnel they were safely driving in at speeds of more then 140 miles per hour suddenly came to an end and they came flying into the massive underground man made cave were six subway rail lines passed each before splitting into separate tunnels.

A subway train zoomed by them going approximately the same speed and they all screamed in terror including Irina before Eva tore off into a double tunnel with two rail lines side by side. A large head light was coming straight at them with the loud sound of a blaring horn and Eva jerked the car over into the other rail space with ease as the two passed each other in the tight space with only a foot separating them with everyone screaming in their cars, the ones behind them and the people in the train who were running to the windows to look out. Almost immediately after that train ended another was coming at them in the rail line they were in and once again had to shift track sides with more screaming ensuing until it was past with Eva smiling wildly with the rush of adrenaline coursing through her.

The expression on her face had been more then Nicholas's of last year and Irina realized she may have created a driving demon who lived for thrill and danger awakening the slumbering genes inside her with this test.

They burst out of the darkened tunnel into the light when the rail exited the underground to outside in another above ground station and she flew off the tracks and into the street, doing a 90 degree turn and flying into a tiny street only wide enough for one car, driving through some ones' outdoor laundering and coming to an immediate stop with the screams at seeing the massive brick wall in front of them of an apartment building. The laundered sheet she'd torn through floating down and covering the car just before the three pursuing cars flew past the tiny alley not seeing her turn.

"That was insane!" Jaxx screamed with white face and a hint of a smile at his twin.

"That was orgasmic." Eva answered with a smile flashing to her grandmother and then laughing at the expression on Irina's face. "I think I may have found my calling Babushka. Thank you for these genes." She gripped the steering wheel caressing it with a wide smile.

Irina's eyes widened and she swallowed the lump in her throat that her fears proved true. She couldn't help the immense surge of pride in seeing Eva's unbelievable skills though and looking at her now, she reminded her so much of Sydney that Irina had no doubt whatsoever that if allowed, Eva would have become a spy…and made a damn good one, at least where instincts and driving were concerned.

"I have to find a bathroom now after that or I'm going to wet myself." Mia gasped with a white face and then laughed when they all did.

* * *

At the end of September, Lena was offered an opportunity she couldn't refuse. Something she'd never thought in her life she would actually be able to do and felt like it was Heaven sent. The only obstacle standing in her way of living out this dream, were her parents, who had immediately said 'no' with violent head shaking and near-hysterical or as close to it as Lena had ever seen them.

"No, you're not going. I'm sorry but we just can't let you go, Lena." Irina shook her head with tears in her eyes seeing the defeated look in her daughter's face and the tears welling there she would not let go. "It's too dangerous…I'm sorry."

Lena only nodded her head softly with arms crossed over her chest and stood leaving her mother's den in silence while Jack and Irina stood perfectly still after pacing rapidly after her approach.

When she was gone, Irina collapsed back against the couch crying with shaking hands in front of her face at seeing her child who'd been through so much look at her once more with a deep sadness. "Did we do the right thing?" She asked Jack in strangled whisper and he immediately wrapped his arms around her pulling her into a sitting hug.

"Yes," Jack answered immediately unwilling to consider the alternatives. "She doesn't need to go. They can take her tissue samples and yours…but she's not going to the moon, damn it." His fear was clear as he choked on his words having been completely blindsided with Lena's approach.

The scientists of the Russian Space Agency and NASA along with several research clinics around the world wanted Lena to accompany the other astronauts into space to do tests on her unbelievable genetics in hopes of understanding them further and possibly gaining more cures or knowledge towards cures in the weightless environment.

The research would be done in the new facility that the United Space Agencies had begun to build on the moon eleven years ago. It was finally ready and the next shuttle crew with American and Russian astronauts would be the first in the Grand Opening of the large indoor structure that was half living quarters for the scientists and astronauts and half for research and as a substation for further space exploration. Everyone in the world was eagerly anticipating it's opening as the first major step forward in Space Research since man first walked on the moon.

Sydney had walked into the foyer just in time to see Lena running down the stairs wearing her running clothes and tears running from her eyes as she bolted towards the door. Her sister had talked to her first, before talking to her parents asking her advice in how she should handle asking them knowing they were most likely going to freak out. Sydney assured her that after thinking about it and speaking with them, they would understand and for all the reasons why. The look on Lena's face had told Sydney, her parents did not. Her eyebrows narrowed and she marched forth towards her mother's den where Lena had spoken to them.

"Okay…so I gathered from Lena just running out of the house in tears that she told you of the great honor she's been asked to do and you told her she can't." Sydney spoke immediately coming to sit opposite them on the sofa and startling them slightly. "She told me all about it when she first got home and I, like you I'm sure were quite startled and worried at first hearing the news until I thought about it and though it scares me to death, she needs to go…this is what she's always wanted."

"We're not letting her go to the moon for God-sake, Sydney!" Jack gasped, "Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"You mean more dangerous then me joining a terrorist organization as a spy when I was a her age?" She narrowed her eyebrow with the famous Derevko slant at her father, "The toss up here…that or going to the moon? I'd say their both damn dangerous but my chances of death were far greater then hers! She's in the cosmonaut program at the Air Force Academy! What did the two of you think she was going there for?"

"This is different. We knew she'd be doing research and such with space but on the ground! Never in a million years would I have thought her actually going into space!" Irina fired back with tears in her eyes knowing she wasn't making much sense but fear gripping her heart at the thought of her daughter leaving the planet.

"This is all started with you! Her dreams of the moon and stars came from you, Mom! _You!_" Sydney pointed at her reminding her that she was the one who instilled this dream in Lena, "You were the one from the time she was a year old read her _Goodnight Moon_ every single night and said goodnight to the moon together every single night for years! Until she was at least twelve years old! You, the one who has told her and all of us since birth that you love her to the moon and back and more then the stars in the Heaven!" Sydney jumped up and began to pace as she lectured them feeling that this was one of those times in life that she needed to stick up to her parents for her sister,

"You, who is responsible for this Space Station on the Moon opening because of '_her_' love of Space when she was just seven years old and you and President Bush decided to join the Space Agencies for this massive undertaking! You who told her about going to _Space Camp_ and you sending me there with her every summer since she was seven all the way up until she was fifteen and joined the _Air Force Academy_ and ended up in the _Cosmonaut Program!_ You two who bought her the telescopes and taught her all about astronomy and took her every year since she was little to the Space Museum in D.C. and gave her Apollo 13 three times because she wore it out watching it growing up and now you act so surprised that she would actually want to go and is able to actually go to the moon?" She heaved in a breath to look at their white faces and watched them swallowing hard. "She's been training to be an astronaut in some way shape or form since she was five! I had never seen her more excited or smile so much in all my life then those weeks we went to _Space Camp_ in the summer. She's been obsessed with the moon since before she could talk and her second word was '_moon_' for crying out loud! Now she has the chance to go and you're telling her 'no?"

"Sydney, this is different…the danger is astronomical!" Jack felt horrible but his fear was ruling his emotions and right now he was fine with that as visions of Lena' being launched into space were more than he could handle.

"She didn't have to ask the two of you if she could go. She's eighteen and a legal adult but she asked you because she respects the two of you and wants your blessing for her to go, to have this dream of hers' before she takes over as the Tsar. She never thought she'd actually be able to get to the moon before she had to take over for you, Mom…have this, her own dream in life if she wasn't going to be the next ruler of Imperial Russia…but she has! This is her one chance to live the dream she wants…would be doing without question if she wasn't the Tsarevicha."

Her tone softened as she took a deep breath watching the tears falling from her mother's eyes, "You told her no and I'm sure she just accepted it, walked away because she'll never again fight against what you say after what happened about the Munich Olympics." She watched Irina swallow hard and drop her head, with more tears flowing, "She'll always accept that what you say 'no' to is in her best interest because she loves you and doesn't ever want to doubt that your intentions for her are always what is best or right even if she can't stand them. She'll let you kill this dream…that is how much she loves you."

Sydney's own eyes shed their tears, "But you have to ask yourselves if this saying 'no' is really in her best interest…or yours? I'm scared for her too but my fear shouldn't be able to stop her from doing what's right for her and neither should yours."

She sighed, "I'm terrified out of my mind that Eva wants to go to driving school to become a professional race car driver and I wanted to scream 'no' at her and put my foot down but its not my life. She's my daughter but she's not my possession…I can't make decisions for her in taking away her dreams that will change who she is or wants to be. I couldn't look into her eyes and do that, see that spark go out. Lena hasn't had a spark in her eyes for the last year and when she returned and dove head deep into this Moon Research I saw the spark come back and so did you…I know you did because you told me so. This is her one thing that is keeping her moving forward. I was yours Dad, after Mom left…"

She spoke softly reminding them, "And yours too, Mom, along with Julian and Rambaldi and Russia all at different times, just as you were what kept me moving forward after Danny died, my quest to find you…we all had that something that made us want to keep living, something to look forward to. Well, going to the moon is Lena's. I'm afraid if you don't let her do this, that spark will go out for good. We'll lose the part of her we're just now starting to get back, forever."

Sydney cried, deeply worried about that after seeing how upset Lena was when she ran out. "You're always telling her and everyone else that a life lived in fear without risks and chances is no life at all. Well, this is her taking the risks and living without fear trying to have a life again. Antony's last gift to her…her necklace representing the moon and the stars…he said he, _wished he could give them to her but since he couldn't, they would have to do_. Who's to say this isn't him giving her the actual moon and the stars? I can't believe that its just coincidence this opportunity to go to the moon on this project just happens to come along when she's been so lost without him."

She inhaled a shaking breath before going on.

"Things always happen for a reason it seems…if she wasn't meant to go she wouldn't have the opportunity. If the accident hadn't happened, she wouldn't be going because she'd be a new mother with a six-month old baby at home. This chance wouldn't have been an option…but everything in her world changed and now it is." She cried seeing the tears flooding down her mother's face in thinking about the loss of her grandchild and picturing no doubt, Lena with the six-month old baby right now as Sydney saw the flash too.

"She was born with your incredible level of anomalies for a reason, Mom. I have to believe in my heart that whatever research they're going to do on her up there, will benefit all mankind just like your anomalies have. All of this can't be coincidental…it just can't be." She stood up taking a deep breath with a sigh, "This was just something I had to say. She's my sister and I love her dearly. I will fight for what she wants so desperately but will not fight you on. That is what siblings do. Please, ask yourselves if this answer of 'no' is what's best for Lena, or what's best for the two of you?" She nodded softly at them wiping her tears and walking away.

Jack and Irina were both silent while she left and for quite a few moments after.

"I hate it when she's right… Right like this." Jack sighed heavily taking a seat again next to Irina and threading their fingers, "I can't decide if it's a blessing that we have a daughter who is forty-five and a mother herself, showing us the error of our ways with her eighteen year old sister… or if ignorance would be the bliss…and then we could ignore the fact that Sydney seems to be right on matters such as these. The times where we're letting our own fears dictate our children's lives."

"The advantages and disadvantages of having a massive age gape." Irina cried with a smile wiping at her eyes, "But its definitely a blessing as she's the voice of inner reason for us…we both knew when we told Lena no it was for us, and not her. We tried to ignore the voice that said it wasn't right but Sydney won't let it be silenced and I'm glad…" She sighed, "Because otherwise I'd be living a life of regrets again…doing things I wish I hadn't and can't go back and change."

She shook her head softly, "And I know, that if we don't let her go…the moment the world watches them land on the moon and dock in the bay and I turn to look at Lena's face, I'd regret not letting her go for the rest of my life. It will eat at me that she had this one chance and we didn't let her go because 'we'…were afraid." She curled into Jack wrapping her arms tightly around him and sobbing, "And I am afraid…"

"I am, too. I don't think we're unreasonable as parents to be terrified to have our eighteen-year old daughter strapped to 8 million gallons of jet fuel with a burning fire underneath her launching her off the planet." Jack held her back and heard Irina's snicker and pulled back swatting his arm.

"Thank you, Jack for reminding me of all that. I feel so much better with that visual." She shook her head with a smile and more tears, "I don't think age matters though. I imagine all parents don't like the idea no matter how old their child is of what you just described." She sighed and then squeezed his hand with tear-filled quivery voice of thick emotion, "We have to let her go. I can't kill her dreams, Jack. I can still see her little chubby finger pointing out the window at the moon wearing her _Cow Jumping Over the Moon_ footy pajamas in my arms saying 'moon, moon' over and over again with such bright eyed excitement that never wavered night after night." She sobbed into a whisper.

"I know…I keep seeing her instructing all of us on her birthday lying on the floor having a slumber party and amazing everyone with her knowledge of the stars even then." Jack smiled with a soft laugh and tears filling his eyes and then sighed heavily, "And I can't believe its just coincidence either that Antony's last message to her was wanting to give her the moon and the stars and then suddenly this opportunity arises."

"Me neither." Irina sniffled.

"I just hope this isn't his way of getting her closer to him and then deciding he can't let her go and keeps her up there with him." Jack wiped at his eyes with a soft smile, "Or I'm going to have to carry a big stick with me into Heaven show that boy what I think of his trick." He teased and Irina laughed at the image.

"I don't think her life has been sparred so many times…just to end now." Irina ran her fingers softly over his cheek, "She has a great destiny to fulfill…and perhaps, this is part of that destiny…what she's able to do up there…I'm mean God, Jack…think about it. How many people in the world can say they've ever been in space or walked on the moon? You know how crazy the space race was…we lived it…and now she's actually going to be there to see our two countries joined, working together for the greater good. Our little girl…adding astronaut to her already impressive Life's Resume and she's only eighteen…can you imagine what she'll accomplish in the next eighteen years of life with all she's done thus far?" She smiled at the thought with pride and love in Lena. "I really don't think anymore there isn't anything she can't do." She shook her head softly with a smile.

"Just like you." Jack smiled kissing her lips.

"That's not true. I can't golf…I hate that sport." She laughed softly and he laughed louder.

"Yes, that's true though only because you get bored and then start whacking the balls as hard as you can wherever you can, no longer caring where they land." He smiled at the visual while her laugh turned to a deep humored giggle.

"True." She sighed and then sat quietly for a moment, "I need to go find her. With how upset she was when she left here…the pain and anger I saw her holding back in her eyes…she could very well run to the Urals if I don't intercept her first." She smiled at him softly, knowing that was an exaggeration but not much. Her lips seared a long kiss with his and then pecked him twice in a row making him smile with mind immediately flashing to the train station in India as it always did when she kissed him that way. "Just promise me that you'll remind me to breathe while she's gone because I have a feeling I won't remember to the entire time she's up there until I see her land."

"Well then we're really in trouble because I was going to ask you to do the same for me." Jack smiled at her nervously with a soft laugh.

"Well at least we'll pass out together." Irina smiled at him, kissing him once more and then vacating the couch.

* * *

Lena was more than surprised when she came over the crest of the hill and found her mother sitting there, waiting. No helicopter in sight and she hadn't heard or seen it fly over and yet, here her mother sat.

"How did you get here? I left almost an hour ago." Lena asked puffing as she stopped with hand on hip keeping a distance between them of at least twenty feet while trying to hide her tears and anger.

"I'm very stealthy." Irina gave her a soft smile and stood brushing the grass off her own running clothing. "You can go." She added softly with great emotion in her voice and Lena tilted her head with narrowing eyebrows waiting for clarification as to what that meant exactly.

"Go where?" She asked breathless.

"To the moon." Irina answered in an almost whimsical tone with a smile. "I will love you to the moon…_and back_' …I promised you that, Lena. I want you to go." Her voice was choked with tears as her eyes flooded and so did Lena's who stood motionless for a moment and then launched herself forward rapidly closing the distance and almost knocking Irina over hugging her. "To the moon _and back_…do you hear me?" She asked with a shaking voice whispering into Lena's ear with tears running from her eyes with the fear she was fighting, "_And back…_" She added in a choked whisper hearing Lena crying and holding her tighter.

"I promise, Mama…to the moon and back." Lena cried with a smile over Irina's shoulder, arms wrapped so tightly around her mother's neck she wasn't sure how she was still breathing and released her when the realization came to her, "I love you…to the moon and back. I'll be okay, Mama." She cried with a smile and then lunged forward hugging Irina again holding without choking her. "Thank you." She added in a whisper.

"You're going to be 250,000 miles away." Irina gasped in astonishment, "That's just…_too far_ away." She cried in a gasp with a sad smile and Lena smiled with the same tears.

"I know…my hearts going to need some massive refueling before I go and after I return with that distance." Lena smiled with a soft laugh not liking the idea either and Irina cupped her face to stare into her eyes.

"Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars…" Irina sang to her softly with a smile as she used to sing to her when she was little and Lena smiled with a laugh. "I love you, Snuggle Bug…"

"To the moon and back…all 500,000 miles taking two days moving at speeds of 5,209 miles an hour." Lena replied with a smile while Irina shook her head thinking of the enormity of that and it not helping her nerves any more like Jack's description of the rocket fuel and fire. They're sense of humor was the same.

"More than the stars in the Heaven's and grains of sand on Earth…" Irina responded with a heavy sigh smiling through her tears at seeing the spark in Lena's eyes of excitement.

"Forever and always, Mama." Lena smiled wrapping her hand over the one's on her face.


	66. Chapter 66

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): The Rock & Armageddon ReMix (you can find it on youtube) **_**by Hans Zimmer & Trevor Rabin**_**, Fly Me to the Moon **_**by Frank Sinatra,**_** The Blue Planet (Main Theme)**_** by George Fenton**_**, Everythings, Gonna Be Alright **_**by Bob Marley,**_** Jamming **_**by Bob Marley**_**, I Just Called To Say I Love You **_**by Stevie Wonder**_**, Tears From The Moon (Lara's Mix) **_**by Conjure One/ Sinead O'Conner,**_** Moonlight Sonata **_**by Beethoven from Lifescapes**_**, Space Between **_**by Dave Matthews**_**, Twilight and Mist **_**by James Horner from Legends of the Fall Soundtrack.**

* * *

SIXTY-SIX

o

**_*The Rock & Armageddon- Remix*_**

_Cape Canaveral, Florida - November 13th, 2021_

It was a month and a half of preparation and training with Lena leaving for The United States and NASA just three days after she and Irina ran back to the palace together that night.

They hadn't seen much of Lena most of that time and only able to spend a few hours with her the night before the launch date. The entire family, extended and otherwise were all there to witness this part of history and Jack clenched Irina's hand tightly feeling her trembling while they waited for the gate to rise and the team to walk out and get into the bus that would take them to the shuttle named Luna meaning 'moon.'

The world, it seemed, had stop to watch this launch with every news network around the globe cutting in with footage and billions of people now sitting before their televisions with anxious enthusiasm to see the Tsarevicha fly into space, including the judge from Nadia's trial who had flown from Havana to stay with her sister in Florida to see just such a thing.

Lena sat on her table getting into her spacesuit and then stood when asked to so they could enclose her inside and her stomach rolled and flopped nervously with heart pounding this was really happening. She took a deep inhaling breath when they finished and were directed to line up before the massive steel doors. The shuttle commander speaking to them with pride and then smiled as they activated the door.

The door began to rise and before they could even see their faces the crowd gathered in the bleachers erupted into applause and a standing ovation. Lena's eyes immediately searched for her family and when she saw them her smile was like a bolt of lightening while standing proudly in her bright orange spacesuit with helmet under her arm and the flag patches of Imperial Russia and The United States on her arm, representing both parts of her heritage.

She walked out and towards the bus with everyone else and waved and nodded politely at the people gathered and stopped just before getting into the vehicle with her eyes looking over her family, smiling at Sydney in thanks and then to Antony's parents and Isabella. Instant tears in her eyes seeing Lana mouth '_We love you_.' Lena going to the moon was a dream that had been their sons and with her, they knew she was taking him along in her heart. She looked next to her father with a soft nod and smile before locking with Irina's mouthing 'to the moon and back.'

Tears spilling down her cheeks from her eyes as she boarded the bus and the cheering continued as they drove towards the shuttle in the distance. Irina couldn't stop shaking and Jack wrapped his arms around her needing to hold her close.

It was another several hours before the countdown began over the loud speaker with them broadcasting the shuttle communications to Houston and the timer ticking down they held their breath seeing the burners ignite and the crowd counting down with them.

_"Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, lift off!"_ And slowly with billows of white smoke beneath it the shuttle lifted off the ground exposing the fiery burning flames beneath as it headed towards the stars moving at an incredible speed straight up into the air and then curving slightly at an angle to leave Earth's atmosphere on the clear day with brilliant blue skies, leaving its white trail behind it with everyone cheering and the families in tears.

_"We are good, Luna!"_ The announcer from Kennedy Space Center smiled seeing the perfect launch thus far of the shuttle named for the moon. _"Houston, they've cleared the tower and are all yours!" _

_"Turn and burn, Baby! Turn and burn!"_ They heard the shuttle pilot announcing as the shuttle turned around and around like a corkscrew in its flight, "This is one hell of a ride Houston!" Her enthusiasm was clear as they flew hard and fast away from the gravity.

Lena had never felt pressure on her body like that on her now with the G Force squishing them as they tore away from gravity towards Heaven though her smile had never been wider in the last year. Her thoughts on Antony the entire time, wishing he was in the seat next to her as he had always been beside her at Space Camp. She felt the tears leaving her eyes and rushing into her hair with such a speed and force being pulled against her and then the last push and release as they left Earth's atmosphere into the blackness of space.

**_*Fly Me To The Moon*_**

_"Houston, the Luna Crew are among the stars."_ The pilot announced and a loud roar surged through the crowd and everyone at the control centers. _"We have a special request from Her Highness the Tsarevicha…a dedication to her mother."_ She came back on announcing with a clear smile in her voice as the sounds of Frank Sinatra's voice filled the communications and sent round the world with Irina bursting into instant tears and a smile while everyone in the world began to sing and she could hear Lena's voice singing the song back to her.

Lena kept singing while they were all given the clear to unbuckle themselves and the moment she did so, was floating around in the shuttle was pure joy and laughed mid-singing while tucking her feet to her chest and spinning around in a somersault when the camera link inside the shuttle came on and showed their images to the world.

Irina's hand went to her mouth seeing her daughter indeed playing among the stars in the weightless environment and cried tears of joy shaking her head looking at the screen before them all and then to the lingering white trail in the sky.

They all burst into laughter when Lena and the four other Russian team members crossed their arms and began doing the traditional Cossack's dance, which was much easier and far more funny while floating around. Her family had never seen her smile brighter in the last year as it lit her eyes.

Lana reached over and grasped Irina's hand with a teary smile and nod as relieved and delighted to see Lena smiling again having been as worried about her as her family, and knowing that Antony would be overjoyed to see her dream coming true. They could think of no better place for Lena to be on the one-year anniversary of the accident then on the moon but it also worried them slightly at being so far away from her when the actual day came and not knowing how she would react. So far, she seemed exponentially happy.

Everyone kept singing watching them play and help each other out of their orange spacesuits revealing the blue flight suits beneath that were the exact same as those issued to Lena since she was seven at Space Camp and the image flashed through Irina and Sydney's mind being able to see the little girl in that blue suit before them in memory and as if on cue, suddenly there was a split screen done by NASA showing a picture of the seven-year old Tsarevicha at Space Camp in the mock shuttle and then to her now, in the real thing and everyone had instant tears in their eyes seeing the same delighted smile.

Lena floated to the camera with a radiant smile singing with Frank and finishing with, "I love you" and then blowing a kiss to Irina, "To the moon and back." She smiled before communication was cut and the image was gone.

The entire time they were up there, Lena was going to be filmed and aired on LIVE television broadcasts on multiple stations world wide as a reality show with the massiveness of her being in space and the opening of the first Moon based space station. The experiments they were going to be doing and research was all going to be shown as well as what the astronauts were doing in their spare time. Irina was thrilled for this fact having a visual of her daughter 250,000 miles away at all times for the entire three weeks of her stay on the lunar surface. Thanks the brilliance of technology, if Lena wanted to talk to her, all she had to do was call her.

**_*The Blue Planet*_**

Later that day on the trip to the moon, Lena called Irina when the shuttle was over the Bahamas and the Caribbean knowing that her family was all staying aboard Imperial II. sailing there and waiting for her return. Everyone was already out of school for the Winter Break in Russia and now enjoying a nice warm vacation in the tropics, enjoying as much as they could anyway with the sadness surrounding this first anniversary that was fast approaching.

"Mama…" Her voice came over the other end of the line as if she were only a few miles away instead of hundreds of thousands when Irina picked up her cell phone ringing beside her as she sat on the beach in the warm sand.

"Lena!" Irina smiled with instant tears rushing to her eyes at speaking to her for the first time since the launch hours ago. "It's so good to hear your voice." Her eyes flashed to Jack's beside her wearing the same smile at hearing it was Lena calling and all eyes suddenly shifted up towards the sky even if they couldn't see her.

"It's good to hear yours' as well." Lena smiled repositioning the satellite to the coordinates she picked up of the GPS signal from her mother's phone and zeroed in on the spot with the telephoto lens onboard with a smile. "I can see you." She laughed softly clearly able to see her mother with crystal clear perfection on the screen before her in living color. "Looks like you need a new drink." She laughed again seeing her mother's fruity drink was almost empty in her hand and hearing Irina gasp in astonishment, looking at her drink and then up at the sky.

"She can see us! _Wave!_" Irina smiled brightly at everyone around and suddenly everyone was waving towards the sky like maniacs.

"Turn that television on beside you." Lena smiled seeing the portable TV on the beach blanket beside her father, "And then you'll see me, seeing you."

"Jack, turn it on." Irina smiled in awe and excitement with nerves much calmer now talking to Lena. "Oh my goodness." She gasped when they saw Lena in the shuttle on the NASA television station and then watched while another astronaut holding the camera went around behind Lena's shoulder to show the view of Earth and the Bahamas out the window in front of Lena and her watching the colored screen before her zoomed in completely on her family.

"That is so cool!" Lara gasped with giggling excitement waving towards the sky and seeing her image on the television screen inside the space shuttle on the screen Lena was watching and it was being beamed back to Earth.

"Very cool, Lara." Lena smiled at her niece on the screen with the same excitement. "But not quite as cool as this." Her smile turned brighter as she floated towards the large window in the shuttle looking out at Earth and all its brilliantly clear beauty.

"Gorgeous." Katya smiled with tears in here eyes at seeing the planet from Lena's view.

"I can't talk long we're starting some experiments now while in the completely weightless environment and then will do them again on the moon." Lena smiled with tears in her eyes, "I just wanted to tell you all I love you very much."

"We love you too, Sweetheart." Irina smiled looking up at the sky with tears in her eyes. "I love you…"

"To the moon and back." Lena responded with a raging smile, "More than the stars in the Heavens…"

"And grains of sand on Earth." Irina fisted a handful of sand from the beach she was sitting on with tears rolling from her eyes letting it slowly fall from her hand, "Forever and always."

"Forever and always, Mama." Lena smiled with the same tears. "You too, Daddy." Lena smiled rolling over in the weightlessness and smiling at the camera so her father could see her on the television.

"I love you too, Peanut." Jack responded getting choked up. Not caring at all if the world saw him with tears building in his eyes. "Enjoy your trip to the moon." He smiled with a slow shaking of his head in awe.

**_*Everything, Gonna Be Alright*_**

Lena blew them all a kiss and ended her phone call though they could still see her on the television. She was being strapped against the side of the shuttle in the mini-lab and her sleeve being rolled to take blood samples to test her blood activity in space.

"I think this calls for a major celebration." Weiss smiled cracking open another beer and then turning up the music and taking his daughter's hand lifting her out of her beach chair and making her dance with him while everyone laughed.

Many joined in and their celebrating went well into the night with many laughs and smiles being shared as the worries disappeared being together with the warming buzz running through their blood from the alcohol and laughter.

Nicholas and Isabella were lying in the hammock together off to the side of the fire they'd made on the beach and she laughed when he almost flipped them over in his inebriated state, the two having become extremely close friends while grieving for Antony and had yet to cross the line though it was clearly getting harder on both of their parts to stay platonic.

"You spilled half of my drink on you." Isabella laughed in her own drunken fuzziness seeing her rum drink sliding down Nicholas naked chest. Her fingers raked up his abs wiping it off and leaned in drawing her tongue over his peck and up towards his shoulder following the path of the spilt drink with a laugh and all inhibitions gone.

Nicholas gasped with heart pounding at the contact and froze in place feeling her hot tongue on his skin. Her eyes met his and the two looked at each other for a long moment before crashing their mouths together with plunging tongues.

He shifted rapidly reaching his hand out and grasped her naked side sliding up towards her chest and trying to pull her closer and in an instant they were flying back over their heads and being dumped in the sand, landing on one another and dumping their drinks all over each other. Their' eyes locked again and started laughing hysterically gaining everyone's attention who'd missed the flip.

Irina smiled over to Jack remembering their' own hammock flip and laughing hysterically in Mexico many years ago. "Our son is as smooth as you it seems." She laughed softly having caught the tail end of the kiss just before their legs went flying over their heads and dumped them in the sand.

"They seem to be enjoying themselves." Jack smiled with his own liquor buzz going and pulled Irina closer to nestle between his legs on their blanket by the fire, nuzzling his face into her neck and kissing her softly, "And as I remember, you seemed to enjoy our flip as well."

"I liked the flip alright, but the water show after was much more enjoyable." She whispered to him with a sexy voice of suggestion and eyes flickering toward the sea before them.

"You can't be serious?" Jack gasped in a whisper with wide eyes looking around them at all the people including their children and grandchildren on the beach.

"Aren't I?" Irina smiled dangerously standing up and discarding her sarong revealing her perfectly sculpted body that seemed to get better everyday and Jack swallowed hard watching her walk towards the ocean and then glide in slowly looking over her shoulder and then diving under.

"Dear God…she is." Jack gasped feeling a surge in his groin when she surfaced with hair slicked back and summoning him into the dark water with a come-hither finger gesture that had him groaning.

"That looks like trouble." Weiss talked out of the side of his mouth to Vaughn, Sophia, Ben, Karen, Judy, Kendall, the Petersons, Katya and Marcelo who were sitting beside him, having seen Irina's finger gesture and eyes flashing back to Jack with a soft laugh. "Why in the hell is he just sitting there?" He asked flabbergasted. "His beautiful wife is beckoning him like a Siren calling him into the sea and he sits there like a rock."

**_*Jamming*_**

"He's debating with himself if the alluring appeal of that Siren is worth any unfortunate side-effects…those being us sitting here and knowing what she is planning on doing to him." Katya laughed on full buzz mode proud of her sister. "Or rather, him doing to her." She giggled deviant and Derevko like seeing the males of the group flush red immediately in the glow of the fire and shift in their seats looking out into the water where Irina certainly did look like a Siren from the deep calling to Jack with her slow finger motions.

_"Get up man! Get up!"_ Weiss whispered shouted with a laugh.

"Maybe he can't." Judy snickered and then eyes went wide that she'd said such a thing and they all burst into hysterics.

"Fifty years later and she can still drive that man mad like no other." Ben laughed shaking his head. "I seem to remember a similar situation occurring when we all went to Cancun on vacation one New Year's."

"Oh, I remember that one!" Karen's voice rose as she remembered with brows rising and a deep giggle emerging. "I swore I saw the ocean bubbling around them from the heat they were conducting." She waved her hand in front of her face to show how hot and everyone laughed again.

"Well, I'll never forget their _indecent exposure_ show in Fiji." Kendall shook his head watching while Jack finally got up and walked towards the water, "Lena's incessant questions." He scrubbed his hand over his face remembering the beautiful little girl with curiosity sparked and wouldn't stop watching her parents going at it.

"That was hilarious." Katya laughed at the image, "I'll never forget the look on _your_ face."

"I told you that night those two were insatiable and madly in love," Weiss smiled over to Lana and Lucious and then nodded to where Irina was seductively wrapping her arms around Jack in the deep water while turning in slow circle, "I wasn't exaggerating."

"They are amazing." Lana smiled with a soft smile and flash of sadness remembering that trip to the island with fondness having just gotten her little boy back…and thinking about him being gone again. "I've never been able to look at Play-Do or puzzles the same way after listening to Lena's description of how babies are made." She smiled with tears in her eyes thinking about the beautiful little girl that night and then looked Heavenward with the brilliant stars now shining above as well as a glorious moon. "An amazing girl…easy to see why my son fell madly in love with her at first smile." She added softly and everyone grew quiet with sad smiles on their faces, those who were in Cuba remembering watching Lena and Antony in the water like Jack and Irina were now and the comparison made between the couples.

"And she with Antony…he was an amazing young man." Kendall spoke with a quiet smile.

"Yes he was." Katya nodded with tears spilling from her eyes and she quickly wiped at them.

Lena had finished with her experiments and went back to check in on her family, zooming the satellite camera once again into the coordinates where they were on the beach and seeing the glowing fire on the beach she smiled. The music coming through the speakers picking up the sound making everyone on board the shuttle start jamming with Bob Marley.

"Ohhh," Lena snickered with a wide smile seeing her brother Nicholas kissing Isabella a ways down the beach from everyone else and happy for them with tears flooding her eyes having suspected long ago they would eventually end up together. There had always been a spark there though neither would dare give oxygen to it. She and Antony had talked about it more then once making up funny scenarios to throw his sister and her brother together with forced oxygen. The thought made her smile and sad in an instant seeing Antony's smiling face flash before her eyes. She quickly moved off of them realizing everything she was doing was being broadcast around the world though at the moment they couldn't see what she was looking at.

_"Hello!"_ Her fellow astronaut smiled widely when Lena's zoom caught her parents in the dark water illuminated by the moonlight and currently engaged in a passionate kiss with definite water action going on.

Lena shook her head with a laugh quickly turning the screen off, "My parents are crazy." She smiled with a soft laugh.

"In love." The American astronaut smiled widely at seeing a glimpse of that love before her now in reality on the screen.

"Yes…they are." Lena nodded softly biting her lip with a soft smile and tears flooding her eyes she looked away thinking about making love with Antony in the water in Cuba a year ago and the ache flamed inside her. "I think I'm going to get some rest…I'm pretty tired." She excused herself and floated down into the sleeping chambers.

* * *

**_*I Just Called To Say I Love You*_**

November 15th, 2021

"Your Highness," The Shuttle Commander called back to her in the early morning hours with a smile, unable to call her anything but though she repeatedly asked everyone to call her Lena. "You have a phone call with a satellite link waiting for you."

Lena's eyebrows slanted softly and pushed her way through the shuttle towards the bay with the sat-coms while everyone was smiling at her as she passed them floating through the air. When she sat came upon the video screen her eyes immediately flooded with tears to see her family and friends gathered at the bow of Imperial II. all looking skyward towards her though they couldn't see her.

"She's here, Your Majesty." The Shuttle Commander smile with Lena's head flashing to the side that he knew what was going on and then back to her family.

In an instant, they were all singing, "_I just called to say… I love you. I just called… to say how much I care. I just called…to say… I love you! And I mean it from the bottom of my heart!"_

They were all smiling while singing with tears in their eyes as she slowly zoomed over all of them. Her hand went over her mouth as tears poured from her eyes when they finished and all shouted together, _"Happy Birthday Lena! We Love You!"_

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart." Irina cried with a smile, this being the first birthday in her life that she didn't see Lena. Everyone behind and around her suddenly held up wrapped gift boxes, "We'll celebrate when you come home!" She smiled while everyone else laughed. "We love you and miss you already…and as tradition must continue at least in someway…" Irina paused touching her earpiece and smiled hearing the shuttle crew suddenly started singing Happy Birthday to Lena on board.

Lena turned around and saw them bring a birthday cake towards her, having no idea how they were able to bring that along and knowing by the looks of it, her mother had made it, her favorite: chocolate cake with raspberry filling and strawberry whipped cream frosting.

"Awe, Mama." Lena cried with tears and a smile looking around at her team, "Thank you and I love and miss all of you too!"

"Let's eat!" Weiss laughed showing they all now possessed pieces of cake on plates as well. "Happy Birthday Princess Tiger Lilly!" He blew a kiss towards the sky dramatically making her laugh softly. They knew this birthday was going to be extremely hard on her as Antony and her baby boy were lost coming home from celebrating her birthday in the early morning hours of the next day.

"Tsarevicha," The Shuttle Commander smiled at her and then nodded to the screen that suddenly changed to everyone in the Houston Control room singing Happy Birthday to her, then cut again in the same place in the song to everyone at the White House singing to her, and then again to everyone in the Kremlin singing, and then at the Air Force Academy all her fellow cadets, and then various groups of people from all around Russia and the world singing to her, all wishing her well and making her smile through her tears that only widened seeing the throngs of children at the Russian orphanages all with arms wrapped over each others shoulders swaying while they sang with laughter and the little impatient ones were squirming around.

* * *

When they landed on the moon later that morning, the cameras were close at hand with everyone watching and smiling as Lena cut through the ribbon in the loading bay and opened the doors to enter inside as part of the first research team to use the facility. They gave a tour of the entire place which was breathtaking in its modern living quarters looking just like anyone of their houses or apartments inside though Lena showing off the very cool effect that the moons gravity pull was less then Earth and when she jumped up in her room, it was in slow motion where she floated for a moment and then slowly floated back down.

When the camera's followed them into their rooms, everyone at home and in the Moon station gasped to see the views of Earth from the moon out of their massive picture windows.

The glass was highly developed to withstand the force of a small bomb blast in case of a meteor shower but allowed them to see clearly outside without the distorting affects of thick glass. In the event of emergency or when the sun illuminated this portion of the current dark side of the moon, the glass was made to tint to dark and prevent dangerous rays from coming into the compound. A metal shield would also immediately close over all glass windows if a large meteor shower hit and was simply amazing as the crew explained all the mind-blowing capabilities of the station. Their beds were facing the window and each had their own rooms, giving them privacy and an amazing view of Earth to fall asleep looking at while those on Earth fell asleep looking at the moon.

Everyone laughed when Lena demonstrated with another female astronaut another great aspect of their new temporary home when they laid on Lena's bed and then pushed off the mattress hard with their arms thrusting themselves into the air and looking as though they were levitating before slowly coming back down.

_***Tears From The Moon***_

Their hearts broke with tears in their eyes watching as Lena unpacked her bag and removed a framed picture of Antony and his hockey jersey she slept in every night. Smiles lit their faces to see her remove Mr. Yellow Bear with Kendall stunned and shaking his head getting a little choked up to know she even still had her little yellow friend.

"She's leaving him there." Irina smiled at Kendall's stunned face, "He's going to be the Lunar Station Mascot forevermore along with My Uncle Alexei's Yellow Bear." She motioned towards the second bear Lena removed carefully from her bag. "My mother's younger brother was equally obsessed with the moon and the stars, having to be confined in bed sick a great deal of time, my mother used to read him stories and look at them with his own telescope. When the Bolsheviks kidnapped them…" Irina explained tucking her hair behind her ear, "Alexei's Mr. Yellow Bear was left behind. My mother found it years later in his room. It had been spared by the Nazi invasion, her brother's room not being one they ransacked for treasure, as it was mostly toys. He would never have imagined that his niece one day would be taking his faithful friend with her to the moon."

The cameras placed everywhere in the structure followed Lena into the main living room where she perched the two bears side by side on the mantle above the television with the plaque reading, "_The road to the stars is rough…But well worth the journey."_ She smiled softly before moving to the lab to start more tests.

As night came and the hour passed mid-night, Lena was sitting in the seat of the massive picture window before her bed, looking out at the moon's surface and back at Earth looking like the size of the moon from Earth and far away. Antony's jersey was pulled over her knees she had pulled up against her curled up in the window, holding onto the necklace on her neck and crying silently with head against the glass.

The image only stayed on her for a moment before those at NASA clicked the coverage over to those in the living room giving Lena privacy knowing what this day was for her.

Irina had seen the tears falling from her daughter's eyes and her posture, the way Lena had pulled his jersey over her legs trying to have as much of 'him' wrapped around her as she could was heart breaking to see and Irina wanted nothing more then to hold her in her arms at the moment. The 250,000 miles apart prevented that maternal instinct from becoming a reality.

Lena's mind was replaying her entire life with Antony. The first vision she had of him in the front seat of the car as she and Nadia were crying being taken away from the aquarium, his voice telling her to run and then smiling at him seeing him come through the door with her parents and Nadia. Playing for hours on end on the sit-and-spin laughing hysterically with dizziness and playing in the sand and snow…their trips to Space Camp and dreams of coming to work at this very Space Station where she sat now. The first time he ever kissed her…told her he wanted her and loved her and kissed her fully; his climbing over her balcony asking her out on a date. The first time they ever made love in the chapel, the conception of their baby and all the times in between they were together. Lazy mornings at his apartment curled up on the sofa watching cartoons and making pancakes. The last time they ever made love was a spontaneous moment when they stopped by his apartment to get him some clothes to spend the night at the palace with her. Her hormones were raging because of the baby though neither knew he was the reason. The look on his face when they went over the side of the bridge and waking to feel him gone; finding out she was pregnant and carrying their beautiful little boy inside her who had died when his father did; the agony of delivering him and loving him before she ever saw him, knowing he was already lost to her as well.

His perfect little features flying through her mind sent a massive surge of tears flooding from her eyes; the feel of his weight against her chest holding him and then letting him go not to see him again until she saw them both in the coffin. The pain was excruciating running through her now with the onslaught of memories and she cried softly burying her face in her folded arms with knees pulled up.

The emptiness of his presence was still profound and she sobbed softly pulling her legs up curling into the fetal position on her bed in the dark with hand splayed over the space he should be, reaching for him in vain as his ghost only whispered a glance and then faded away.

Lena was thankful in the morning to get back to work as a distraction knowing this day of anniversary lasted a lot longer and the images of a year ago and delivery her son ran rampant through her mind. She was almost completely silent all day though they poked and prodded her, taking tissue samples with biopsy needles and the like for their tests. All knew where her mind was and it broke their hearts all around the world as they watched the sudden changed in her demeanor from the smiling laughing young woman of just a couple of days before, vanish into the shell of her as she turned inside herself on this day of immense grief and remembering. She was restricted from running on the treadmill because of the biopsies performed on her pancreas, liver and kidney tissue, not wanting to cause hemorrhaging and the need for release and escape of her ghosts for just a moment of silence was eating at her. In the solace of her room she tried to calm herself through various slow movements of the martial arts skills she had mastered and then meditated but peace was eluding her as she couldn't find her focus.

**_*Moonlight Sonata*_**

Finally she gave up and headed towards the living room again that was empty of everyone as they ate dinner, her declining at the time not being hungry and now sat before the keyboard piano brought up as one of the many things to relax the astronauts who would be staying in Space on missions away from their families and for some, up to two years.

She began to play without thinking and soon the haunting melodies, though highly appropriate considering the location, of the _Moonlight Sonata_ flowed through the compound and over the broadcast Com waves, to the billions watching her at home on the planet and in Houston at the Command Center. Lena didn't seem to care or acknowledge the cameras all day, lost in her own world and they all grieved with her in her silence. Hearing the tune and her grace and beauty in playing it now floating all around the moon and world, crossing space and time brought nearly everyone to tears.

Jack sat horrified in front of the television in his room on the ship listening and watching his daughter looking so incredibly like her mother while playing the song that haunted his dreams, the same tears coursing down her cheeks as she sat in the semi-darkness and instead of the moonlight streaming in the window on her as it was with Irina in Berlin, the Earth light from the sun's reflection was streaming in on Lena. Tears were streaming down his cheeks silently when Irina walked in and heard the music coming from the television. Her heart sped up considerably as she moved to see the screen and saw Lena playing the familiar piece in her grief on this day and then to her husbands face watching her.

"She looks just like you…" He sighed squeezing his chin with his fingers nervously as he leaned on the arm of the chair.

_'Sitting there'_ went unsaid though Irina knew what he was thinking about and wrapped her arms around him from behind pressing her lips against his neck, kissing it and then his cheek speaking softly with her own tears.

"There are no assassins on the moon, Jack. She's okay…and so am I." Irina kissed the spot before his ear and felt the tug on her arm as he pulled her into his lap to hold her close. "Why is it this song and Berlin that haunts you so of all the times…?"

_'I almost died'_ went unsaid though he knew.

"I don't know. It just does." Jack shook his head softly reaching up to touch her cheek softly, "Maybe because it was the first time in the films that I saw someone trying to kill you. To know that when you came home you were upset about me…you were grieving for us by playing this song and then," he swallowed hard, kissing her fingers nervously, "The vicious way you almost died…all the blood and the way you unconsciously said _Sydney_ for the first time. Seeing that your last thoughts before you flat-lined were of our life together." He spoke quietly as he thought aloud the reasons to her question he'd never really asked himself before.

Irina looked at him intently with her dark blurred eyes streaming tears and leaned up, kissing him softly. "I love you, My Love." She whispered against his lips, "Forever and always…When I hear this song, I don't think of almost dying that night in Berlin…I think about how I felt so dead already and allowing myself to think of you and remember our life gave me as much comfort as it did pain. A torturous balance when I tried so hard to let you go because of that pain…but I couldn't because my love for you would never die…a curse and a comfort all at once…and those flashing moments of comfort in remembering our love and life were worth the pain and dying."

She brushed away his fallen tears with her thumbs holding his face gently in her hands.

"I played this song to remember…I played this song to forget…both because of my love for you…Lena is doing the same. She's playing to remember…she's playing to forget." Irina cried softly and kissed him again with Jack cupping her face and pressing their foreheads together with noses brushing and hot breath passing between them they held each other. Lena stopped playing and sat at the piano for a moment when the song ended, looking out the window at Earth and then getting up, she walked back to her room.

When she picked up her phone and hit the privacy switch to shut the cameras off in her room, they both knew she was calling and Irina's phone rang seconds later. Irina kissed Jack quickly once more and then jumped off his lap to get to her phone.

"Hello Sweetheart." She answered softly and heard Lena's tear-filled voice on the other end. Irina sat heavily on the edge of bed and then lay back, staring up through the skylight to the moon above while Lena lay in her bed looking out her window at Earth.

"I can't find my focus." Lena cried softly with a defeated tone.

"I think that today of all days…its allowed, Sweetheart." Irina gasped softly with tears while covering her forehead and eyes with her arm for a moment before moving it back slightly to stare up where her daughter was right now.

"My heart needs refueling…I feel like all my wounds are bleeding again." Lena cried softly turning on her side and pulling her legs up.

"I wish I could hold you, My Love," Irina cried softly in response while Jack crawled onto the bed with her and laid his head on her chest, listening to her heart while she spoke with Lena on the phone and Irina moved her arm down so her hand could run softly over his head. "You have to find a happy memory, Lena…turn that pain into fuel."

"I can't think of any happy right now." Lena turned over onto her back and flung her arm over her forehead and eyes. "They were here and now they're gone…" She whispered while trying to recall and only seeing the flash of death before her.

"Do you remember the night that Antony let Lara dress him up like a girl?" Irina smiled softly through her tears thinking about the memory that had caused her son and Isabella to first laugh again.

"Yes," Lena laughed softly through her cry at seeing Antony flashing before her wearing a dress with a boa around his neck and a fake jewelry. "And then they had a tea party with her dolls." She laughed softly again another soft cry, "He kept saying he felt like the ugly stepsisters in Cinderella wearing my high heels…and that his foot crammed into it with send the shoe flying at any minute across the room."

"Yes," Irina laughed softly with her having forgotten that part, "And he had blisters on his feet for a week after but didn't complain once because he had so much fun with Lara." She sighed, "And remember when you were both ten…and I took just the two of you with me to the Air and Space Museum at the Smithsonian?"

"Antony had never been." Lena added softly with tears dissipating while concentrating on remember, "We made our own footprints in the moon dust on mock lunar surface and he wanted to try to make only one set of one foot…so he hopped around on one leg." She laughed softly at thinking about the image of him hoping around like a pogo stick making her laugh at the time.

"Yes," Irina smiled hearing Lena's on the other end, "And you can do that now…on the real lunar surface. It will only be your set of singular footprints…but he's still there with you. Just as you were there with him that day…he's always with you Lena…always. He always will be as long as you keep him in your memory. Death may have taken his life…but it will never steal your memories." She sniffled holding back new tears hearing her daughter doing the same on the other end, "He would be so proud of you, Sweetheart…You're there…you made it and he's there with you. You're living both of your dreams, Lena... Do you remember when you were little and we were on the beach and you asked me how hearts could talk to each other?"

**_*Space Between*_**

"Yes," Lena answered with a soft cry knowing what her mother was saying. "That two people can talk to each other without ever saying words through their hearts…if you're quiet and still…they will talk for you."

"Yes…that still applies. Just because he's not physically in front of you, you can still talk to him through your heart…If you're really still…and close your eyes…listen to heart…you'll feel him around you…his voice will answer any question you ask through your heart…but you have to listen for it inside you. The body dies but never the heart…it lives on forever." Irina cried softly with a soft smile staring up at the moon, "We're 250,000 miles away from each other right now…and if you're really quiet and still… you'll hear it…you'll feel it…what is my heart saying to you right now?"

Lena closed her eyes and slowed her breathing and her cries concentrating on the sound of the beat of her heart and listened for a few moments. Jack was thoroughly intrigued by this exchange in dialogue hearing Lena over the phone so close to Irina and hearing his wife's replies. To hear them talking of speaking through their hearts was not something new to him, but doing so without chests being pressed together looking at the other person and seeing into their eyes or listening to their heartbeat, no physical contact at all…he was curious to hear Lena's response.

Irina was quiet and still below him and he could hear the steady beat of her heart beneath his ear and turned to look at her. Her eyes flashed down to his and mouthed 'Kahlil Gibran.' He knew the quote she was thinking of well and they had recited it in fact on the second night in St. Petersburg when Jack had come after her when she was pregnant with Lena. His mouth fell open slightly when he heard Lena's reply after being silent for a couple of minutes.

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in the truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." Lena answered with a soft cry at the end.

"Yes." Irina cried with a smile staring up at the moon and Jack heard her heart pick up in tempo with Lena's answer, "What else am I saying to you right now?" She asked their daughter while Jack's eyes remained wide always knowing they had an enormously powerful connection and now seeing it first hand before him in this way. Irina mouthed to him what she was thinking, 'to the moon and back.'

"You love me to the moon and back…more then the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth, forever and always." Lena answered almost immediately and Irina's face lit into a massive teary grin.

"Yes, Sweetheart to the moon and back, I love you." Irina cried softly raking her hand through Jack's hair and smiling at him when she saw the look in his eyes. "And right now…you're heart is telling mine…" She paused for a moment looking back up at the moon and slowing her breath to listen to her heartbeat, "You love me too, forever and always…that you miss me and wish I was there to refuel your heart in person…and I love you again." Irina smiled again.

"Yes!" Lena gasped in surprise that her mother heard hers' too and knew exactly what she was thinking in that moment. "That was it exactly."

"Now you try with Antony…" Irina smiled softly with new tears, "Close your eyes and listen to your heart…concentrate only on your heart…what is he saying through it?"

Lena closed her eyes again and concentrated on her heart seeing Antony's smiling face before her eyes while she listen, trying so hard to hear him.

"You have to relax, Sweetheart…don't force it. Let him come to you." Irina spoke softly knowing her daughter and her heart and what she was doing, could feel it in her own being so connected that Lena was trying so hard to listen she wasn't hearing him.

_'I'm here Wild Child, I'm right here.'_ Antony's voice echoed through her heart and Lena gasped with tears flooding her eyes.

"You heard him, didn't you?" Irina asked with a flood of tears hearing her daughter's reaction over the phone.

"Yes…" Lena answered in a sob whisper of disbelief while her eyes flashed around the darkened room, feeling his presence but mostly inside her heart right now.

"Keep listening…it will get easier to hear him over time." Irina encouraged her with a smile; "He's always with you…you just have to look into the quiet spaces of your heart to actually hear him."

"Mama, how do you know this?" Lena asked with wondered surprise believing more then ever what her mother was saying about the hearts ability to speak to each other.

"My mother taught me." Irina answered softly with a teary smile and saw the surprise in Jack's eyes too, "When I was little she told me that she could still talk to her mother and father…her sisters and brother…through her heart. I thought she was a bit crazy but if that was her way of dealing with the grief of losing them, I was happy she had that as a comfort…but as I got older, she started doing it with me…and Katya, teaching us how to listen as I've taught you…and it never proved more true then when I moved to America…I talked to her all the time...I missed her so much, especially after Sydney was born and I was terrified of failing as a mother not having her around to guide me into." She sniffled and Jack felt his heart drop and skip in hearing this story, "I'd go to bed at night and lie still letting my heart ask the questions and she'd always answer if I was patient. After she died…and I went to prison," Irina gulped with choked tears, "They tortured me into unconsciousness and I passed out from blood loss…with your brother," She clarified and both Jack and Lena instantly knew what she was talking about having the visual of Irina being beaten and hung on the cross fleeting through their minds. "It was her voice calling to me, telling me I had to wake up…if I didn't wake up when I had…I would have died because I was already in labor but I wasn't pushing. My placenta was detaching after the beating…and I was bleeding to death and would have…if I hadn't pushed your brother out and the bleeding placenta." She added softly and swallowed hard and eyes flashed down to Jack's and then away knowing she'd never told him that.

His eyes had tears in them hearing yet another reveal from her secret garden in her heart and feeling his heart clenching painfully for his wife and all that she had gone through…when he didn't think there could possibly be more…there was.

Irina kept talking after taking a deep breath and wiping at the salty stinging tear trails from her eyes running into her pillow, "After that she spoke to me all the time…and I to her. Many more times she called me back to consciousness and saved my life…wouldn't let me quit…leave me to die. In the beginning of my time in solitary I talked to her all the time and she to me as I had nothing to do in that hole except sit in silence…she told me to try to talk to your sister…to let my heart speak to hers'…and I did," Irina cried softly with a soft held back sob and Jack's tears rolled onto her shirt listening to yet another reveal. "I told Sydney I loved her everyday and every night I would say prayers with her though I had no concept of time in the dark at all…I could hear her start them in the silence if I was listening for her and recited them with her… I felt her pain in missing me and I tried to not let her feel my pain…and instead tried to flood my heart with happy times we'd spent together so she'd remember those and feel my love instead." Irina wiped at her eyes that were burning and heart clenching in her chest recalling this painful time period and Jack heard the uneven staccato rhythm in her heart with the emotion running through her.

"After a few months in that hell…with what was happening to me…all I felt was pain," Irina cried softly inhaling a shaking breath, "I stopped letting my heart talk to Sydney…all I could feel was pain and sadness and I didn't want her to feel it too…and I tried desperately to forget her because of it…What was left of my soul was dying rapidly day by day…That's not what I wanted Sydney to remember of me…not my pain but my love…The mother I was to Sydney…died in my mind in that place at the time and I had to let her go too if I was going to survive at all." Irina wiped at her tears again, "It wasn't until years later, while still fighting with myself in trying to forget and unable…that Talia intercepted me, forced me to see that by forgetting…I wouldn't survive. That I needed to remember Sydney to continue to exist…that my hearts 'fuel' came from my memories and I needed them to go on…and they did. As painful as it was sometimes in remembering, my memories are what kept me going forward."

Lena was stunned into silence on the other end of the phone as was Jack listening to Irina revealing these deeply personal secrets of her heart.

"After Kashmir, I didn't think I deserved the right to talk to my mother anymore though I could still hear her talking to me…but what she was saying I didn't want to hear, didn't want to listen to because I knew she was right…but I couldn't do what she wanted…I didn't think I would survive if I did…so I ignored what she was saying and only spoke to her on a few occasions."

"Like right before you turned yourself into the CIA?" Lena asked quietly remembering that scene from the film and book and what her mother had said in strained conversation to her grandmother.

"Yes…" Irina answered softly, "And only on rare occasions would I allow myself to speak to Sydney…mostly it had to be something quick as I feared the pain creeping in to what I wanted her to know. I told her I loved her every year on her birthday and at Christmas and several other days a year at sporadic moments when a good memory would flash through my mind…and I would write in the journals for her as much as I could allow myself…but as with my mother, I could still hear Sydney talking to me. Hear her heart speaking to mine if I listened…I felt the love and adoration I didn't deserve. It just made it more painful to listen to…" She added with a quiet voice full of emotion,

"And I felt her fear, anger, rage and pain when she found out I was alive and after I shot her and turned myself in…and our hearts began to speak again on occasion but after I left again, it was I who was trying to get Sydney to hear mine and this time, she was refusing to hear me…too painful for her to listen to. I felt the shift in her heart again imploring mine to listen to hers' begging me not to leave her life again while Katya was in LA 'letting them go' for me while I was in Brazil." Irina's eyes flashed down to Jack's again with sadness remembering this painful time for them both, "I could hear and feel Sydney's heart screaming at mine, upset. But I tried not to listen…though I responded with 'let me go' because I thought she would be better off without me complicating her life anymore. But Sydney is stubborn,"

Irina smiled through her tears and saw Jack smile as well, "And I heard hers' screaming back at mine that she would 'not let me go' quite adamantly and that she 'would not stop searching until she found me.' After the Brazil raid, I was very conflicted and confused about what I felt I heard in Sydney's pleas and what I saw with her 'not letting me go and adamancy about finding me.' My heart was trying to tell me that it was because she loved me and didn't want to let me go but my brain and from what I saw, told me it was because she wanted me out of her life, but in prison or dead as that would be where I'd end up if I went back into custody after breaking my immunity deal with escape. That my own child was hunting me was a horrendous feeling of pain unimaginable…"

Her voice tapered off and Jack swallowed hard at their lives, all the pain on all sides with miscommunication and how different they were and things could have been, "My head and my heart were at war once again with each other trying to decipher what was really going on and during that time, your father, Sydney and Michael turned up at the Palace…and when I heard Sydney reciting the words I knew that the message my heart was receiving was the right one…she didn't want to let me go because she 'did' love me…which was an overwhelming feeling to actually know, hear her say it, while I felt it."

She smiled softly with endless tears, "Still…it took me long time to trust what my heart was trying to tell me when I heard it speak…I didn't trust my interpretive skills after so many years of shoving the instincts my heart gave me away for protection and relying on decisions made of the mind for the heart was too dangerous. I heard your father's heart talking to mine towards the end of my stay in custody and the resulting you,"

She smiled again and her eyes flashed to Jack's in the moment and saw him smile as well, "Came from finally letting them speak to each other without the manipulations and warnings of the mind and I knew that he loved me…" She inhaled a deep breath and her voice dropped in pitch, "But then he shot me Moscow and that wavered what I thought I 'knew' from his heart and after coming to him to tell him I was pregnant with you…and he told me he used me in Panama…well then, I couldn't trust what my heart was saying anymore because I felt that he loved me that night and then he was telling me it was actually a lie…so when he did come to me in St. Petersburg and before he and I ever talked my heart was screaming at me with a message from his that he did love me…but didn't listen, couldn't trust it because I'd heard that message and was wrong before."

She ended softly refusing to look at Jack while wiping her tears and Jack's eyes glistened with new tears thinking about that night and hearing that his message that he loved her had gotten through, but because of what he'd said to her, lied to her about, she wouldn't trust it and he couldn't blame her for that with all the mixed messages.

"Even after we talked I still couldn't trust in what my heart was hearing from his until the next morning when went to see Alexei for your appointment and your father actually said that he loved me…said the words confirming what his heart was saying and like with Sydney, hearing him say aloud what my heart was hearing was the confirmation I needed. Trusting what my heart was hearing after so many years of verbal lies and actions took time again and eventually, I learned to listen to my heart over my mind. My heart had never really led me astray, it was my clever mind making it look like my hearts fault."

She smiled softly with eyes flashing down to Jack's and saw his smile and soft nodding in agreement feeling the same about his own mind and heart. "Your father and I since the very beginning days of our relationship could speak to each other without saying a word because we let out hearts do the talking. It was always Irina talking to his heart, never the lies of my alias. It was the only way I could really speak to him without the lies of my mission. It took us both a while to trust the heart-talk again but eventually, it became the favored way of speaking again." She ran her fingers softly through Jack's hair with her teary smile looking at him and he heard her heart tell his in that moment, 'I love you.'

Irina reached up and wiped at her eyes, "I'm sorry I've rambled on about this-"

"No…don't be." Lena cut her off on the other end feeling a lightness in her heart in the overwhelming sadness, "I'm glad…appreciate…thank you for telling me this." She fumbled in what to say, "I didn't say anything in response while you were talking because I just…never knew any of that and it was enlightening…I just didn't know what to say in response…" She sniffled, "I needed to hear it…Antony and I use to have that…being able to speak without words through our hearts and after he died," She inhaled a soft sob closing her eyes and collecting herself, "I wasn't listening anymore because he was gone…I didn't think…know…we could still speak that way…its just so hard." She cried softly.

"I know, Sweetheart." Irina's eyes flushed with new tears speaking in soft tones, "But you'll always be able to speak to each other through your hearts. You just have to listen inside yourself to hear what he is saying." She wiped at her eyes thinking about the origination of why this conversation had started, "If you close your eyes and listen for him…I'm willing to bet that he'll speak to you all night through your dreams." She sniffled and smiled softly, "You might not remember the conversation you had with him, but you'll feel it."

"I love you, Mama." Lena whispered with a soft cry and shaky voice into the phone looking at Earth out her window, "Forever and always."

"And I love you, Snuggle Bug," Irina smiled that her daughter would never outgrow that nickname, "Forever and always. I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thank you." Lena smiled thankful for this phone conversation. "I'm going to try to listen for what else he has to say."

"Good." Irina spoke softly, "Good night, My Love…I'll talk with you tomorrow."

"Good night, Mama." Lena said her goodbye and clicked her phone off staring at the beautiful blue and green planet out her window with the swirling wide clouds around it and then closed her eyes, concentrating on her heartbeat.

"You're a fascinating creature." Jack spoke softly with awe in his voice looking up at Irina when she set the phone down. "Did you ever tell Sydney any of that…that you heard her heart speaking to yours in Kashmir and after?" He asked quietly and Irina shook her head 'no' softly with new tears, looking away quickly and wiping her eyes, "Why not?" He asked softly reaching up to grasp her hand and run comforting circles over the back.

Irina sniffled, "I tried to forget her, Jack…my own child. I didn't want to hear what her heart was saying…it hurt too much in the end. How horrible is that? I'm her mother…it shouldn't matter how much pain I was in…I never should have stopped listening."

"You're too hard on yourself." Jack shook his head softly, "You did what you had to in order to survive. I think you should tell her. Sydney lived on the love you gave to her while you were with her for years after you were gone all the way up until I devastated by telling her what I knew to be the truth of you. But it wasn't only the love you gave her when you were her mother for those six years that she felt to keep her going…it was the love you continued to give her too. That she would be able to feel your love with just a feeling and a thought while on the other side of the world, I never would have thought possible until years ago I slowly began to see your connections and sixth sense with all of them. Always knowing when they're hurt or some thing's wrong or pregnant and happy." He smiled softly at her; "You just revealed to me with your conversation to Lena another aspect of that phenomenal bond and sixth sense. They know you so well…as you know them. I could be jealous but instead I'm just fascinated." He said with a hint of awe.

"Everyone has a sixth sense." Irina began softly with a sigh; "All animals do and use it often. It's just that as humans evolved and lives got busy they stopped relying on that instinct what people call mysticism and somewhere along the way gave it a derogatory brand. That communication and understanding without words wasn't possible and a farce compared to their rational thought. My mother made sure I wouldn't lose that sixth sense by testing it often," She smiled softly thinking about her childhood, "That if I listened to mine I could avoid danger like the animals who know how to avoid a predator or flee before a natural disaster occurs. I thought she was 'funny' in telling me that all the time but she constantly hammered home that I never lose that instinct as it could save my life one day. She'd fine-tuned hers after surviving the massacre and the years on the run with my father while in hiding. I learned to really fine tune mine in Kashmir and I know for a fact it saved my life numerous times then and all the years after. Once you're aware of it, you can't seem to 'turn it off." She smiled softly running her fingers through his hair. "That's probably why you and I were such a mess those years…we both still loved each other and felt it while also hating each other trying to let go at the same time. The conflicting emotions at different times passing between our hearts causing the chaos." She added softly with an enchanted smile having no idea if that was true or not but it seemed logical and where they were concerned, anything was possible.

"Where you're concerned I don't doubt anything anymore. Life kept hitting me over the head like a sledge hammer if I did." Jack smiled thinking the years passed, "That you were a Romanov for one… That took several good blows to the head before I accepted the evidence presented." He laughed softly.

"That I really did love you…was another." Irina smiled at him speaking softly continuing her loving touches, "Though I understand completely why you wouldn't…couldn't trust it. So many mixed messages and lies." She shook her head softly.

"And you…afraid to believe it could work and that I really did love you when I found you in Alexander that night. Mixed messages and more lies." He shook his head softly and then smiled, "What is my heart saying to yours right now, 'oh Mystic Heart Reader?" He asked with a tease making a pun on Palm Readers.

Irina smiled with a soft laugh and then went quiet for a moment looking away from him to concentrate and then eyes flashing back to his only a few moments later.

"That you love me so much…your heart is feeling like it could short circuit and explode." Irina laughed softly.

"Impressive." Jack nodded with a tight-lipped smile shaking his head and then leaned up and forward to kiss her lips, "And I meant every word."

The day after the anniversary had passed Lena was back to her smiling self having a new sense of comfort and thoroughly enjoying the trip of a lifetime and for the first time since his death, really felt Antony with her and not in a haunting way. He was with her, enjoying the dream that had been theirs' together and when she went walking outside on the lunar surface, finger the powdery gray dust, she smiled looking out at Earth and then laughed as she stood and hopped forward on one leg, and kept hopping on one leg leaving one set of singular prints in the surface for Antony remembering him doing the same as children. She could almost hear his laughter watching her and later that night when she sat with her team eating dinner, they asked her about the amusing hop across the lunar surface and what she was doing. Without hesitating for the first time and wearing a smile, she relayed a happy memory she'd shared with Antony, with others.

On her last night on the moon, Lena read '_Goodnight Moon'_ to the whole world with many enthusiastic children in front of their television sets listening to the beloved Tsarevicha read the classic bedtime story from the actual moon. It was the book she'd gotten on her first birthday, well worn and memorized by heart long ago. Tears came to her eyes of sadness and happiness while she was reading with the flashes of memory seeing her mother standing in her hospital room, reciting her favorite bed time story to her son…her beautiful baby boy whose presence she did feel among the stars and imagined him listening intently to his 'Mama' reading the story now to the children of Earth from the moon while he watched and listened looking out his own window where ever he was pointing at the moon in his Daddy's arms. It was the image she held onto when she went to sleep and in her dreams, heard them both speaking to her, waking up for the first time in over a year after a full nights rest without being haunted by nightmares.

When she packed her things for their departure, her fingers floated lightly over the picture of Antony and cried softly. With a soft smile, she placed the frame in the picture windowsill looking out at Earth and when she got home, he'd been looking down at her from the moon forevermore. She said a tearful goodbye to Mr. Yellow Bear with a soft laugh and smile at leaving her faithful friend behind before taking one last look around and boarding the shuttle to head home.

* * *

_Kennedy Space Center, Florida- NASA_

Irina held her breath as did Jack and everyone else waiting for the shuttle reentry knowing it was even more dangerous then the lift off and sighed with relief when they watched it come in for a landing and then cheered loudly with tears when the wheels touched down and she took an exaggeratedly long deep breath with Jack both laughing softly and kissing in relief. With the shuttle fully stopped they were cleared to start approaching with the rest of the NASA crew and lit into wide smiles to see the white exit slide shoot out the side and the first two orange spacesuits come flying down and land, waiting to help the others out.

Two-by-two they flew down the slide in the distance with everyone picking up speed towards them in their gait and when they saw Lena coming flying out last with the Shuttle Commander instant tears flooded their eyes seeing her smile as she accepted the helping hand up.

The team started walking towards them and the minute Lena saw her family she started running towards them and Irina bolted for her, unable to stand the longest separation of their life any longer and cried in joy when Lena launched herself into her arms and Irina hugged her tightly with everyone clapping at the missions success including those around the world watching.

The sight of families reuniting one by one was an overwhelming experience with tears being shed all around at the enormity of it all…that these individuals had left Earth and come back again…was a miracle every time.

Lena was whisked off not long after landing with the NASA officials needing to medically clear them. The shuttle in the meantime was taken in and cleared of their personal effects as well as the research experiments being sent back to their respective labs for further testing and analysis of the results.

Many hours passed into the night with anxiousness as they waited for Lena who would be driven to and meet them on the beach before boarding Imperial II for one more night and then returning to Russia and another hero's welcome.

Jack was the first to see the limo pull up with his middle daughter and smiled widely seeing her emerge from the back. She saw him and smiled when he started clapping for her with a wide smile and tears in his eyes and everyone else spotted her and joined in their own private welcoming 'home.'

Lena clenched her fist tightly at her side walking towards them in the still warm sand with it squishing between her toes having abandoned her sandals in the limo. Her light summer dress dancing lightly around her knees as she walked and then reached down grabbing a fist full of sand before coming to stand face to face with her teary eyed mother.

"I love you to the moon…" Lena recited looking into Irina's eyes holding out her hand for Irina who wore a peculiar smile, lifting her hand, palm up, "And back." Lena smiled opening her clenched fist and letting the white powdery moon dust fill her mother's hand. Her eyes darted to the sky, "More than the stars in the Heavens," Lena continued to recite with the tears falling from her eyes as she looked back down to Irina and held the other hand out, "And grains of sand on Earth," She let the sand fall from her other hand into her mothers with a soft smile, "I love you…Forever and always, Mama." Her words were choked with emotion thinking about what Irina had said to her that night to get her through, "Thank you." She swallowed hard while Irina looked at the substance in both of her hands, feeling the powdery dust of the moons surface in her hand and fat tears rolling from her eyes she closed her fingers around both into fists and then looked up, stepping forward and hugging Lena tightly. "To the moon and back, Mama…I promised you I'd come back." Lena added with a smile holding her mother tightly.

"Thank you…" Irina sighed heavily with a large smile and loving thankful tears, "I love you…to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens, and grains of sand on Earth, I love you…forever and always." She repeated softly to her.

"And now…I truly know how much that is." Lena stepped back smiling with welling tears in her eyes again looking up at the circular moon illuminated in the sky and how far away it was and what it took to get there and back.

"Is that really real moon dust, Lena?" Lara asked with wide-eyes looking at her grandmother's hand closed around the powdery substance she saw Lena put there.

"Yes, it is." Lena smiled at her, "I brought some back for you too." She'd brought some back for someone else very special and upon returning to Russia, it was her first stop.

* * *

_****__*Twilight and Mist*_

_St. Petersburg, Russia – Alexander Palace_

Lena knelt in the snow and brushed the headstone before her with tears filling her eyes. Her hand went to her pocket and retrieved the large rock she held there; her fingers skimming over its surface.

"To the moon and back, Antony…forever and always…I love you." She whispered with the tears falling from her eyes as she placed the moon rock at the base of the headstone and wept quietly.

Irina had followed quietly behind her and stood a distance away, watching her daughter for a moment with her own tears falling down her face. Seeing Lena was okay, she turned and walked away, leaving her daughter to grieve quietly on her own, knowing Lena needed this time alone. Lena had changed considerably over the past year, grown and matured even further beyond her years and in overcoming the harsh hardships, and had slowly begun to take over their strength they once held over her. As much as Irina hated the statement, 'That which does not kill you makes you stronger,' it held the barest of truths. If Lena could survive this, she could survive anything…a hard lesson learned, a mighty strength gained.

As it does every year, winter faded into spring and with it, new hope and promise of the future. Nicholas and Isabella, were now a thriving couple madly in love as were Nikolas and Nadia whom were almost never apart. Laughter once again began to fill the palace walls with smiles and the occasional tears at the remembrance of those gone and missed. Lena's heart still ached and though she smiled and laughed with them, the sadness and pain lingered. Her wounds were that much deeper with their loss and thus would take that much longer to heal. Meanwhile, she kept herself thoroughly busy with school at the Academy and helping her mother with Imperial matters every chance she got. She kept in great contact with the research teams exploring their findings with the tests they performed on her in space and the results were promising, one study in particular that Lena was very interested in had produced the results she was hoping for and just in time for Mother's Day.

* * *

_Mother's Day 2022 - Anniversary of Coronation_

Lena's gift to her mother was the last and she handed the small rectangular box over while kneeling in front of Irina with a soft tear filled smile.

"What is it, Sweetheart?" Irina asked immediately seeing the tears in Lena's eyes and reached up to tilt her daughter's chin up to look into her eyes while they held everyone's attention.

"Open it." Lena smiled with an encouraging nod through her tears and Irina did as told, opening the box and inhaling a small gasp reaching in with shaking fingers to touch the syringe with everyone else gasping in wonder. "Your gift to me…given back to you."

"Is that what I think it is?" Weiss asked barely above a whisper and Lena's eyes flashed to his with a smile and then back to Irina who wasn't breathing though tears were ready to spill from her eyes looking at the syringe.

"Yes…it is." Lena smiled softly reaching up to wipe the tear that immediately escaped her mother's eyes while everyone else gasped in tears, "Your cure, Mama…they found it."

"From your cells…the research in space?" Irina gasped in a whisper knowing the research teams had told her it looked very promising but having no idea they'd found it.

"Yes," Lena nodded softly with a smile in permanent place, "I told them not to tell you…I wanted to give it you myself. You gave me life…and now I'm giving it fully back to you… Take this injection…" Lena took the syringe filled with the cure made from her own cells out of the box, "And in a few hours time…you'll be producing your own insulin again… Never again will you have to give yourself injections. This is the last one, Mama." She carefully rolled the syringe in her fingers in between she and her mother with eyes holding fast and tears falling hard. "You're free now."

Irina didn't know what to say or do looking at the syringe in her daughter fingertip grasp so emotionally moved she could barely breathe. What could she say to her child who was freeing her from the chains of the past? For almost twenty years she had lived with this disease and long ago accepted she would live with it until her death and now, her child was offering her the cure with cells made from her own body.

Jack's eyes flashed to Sydney's who was smiling and crying and held her gaze, she had told he and Irina she had believed Lena was chosen to go on that research mission for a reason, believed that she inherited her mother's anomalies for a reason and now here it was…the reason was in her hand: the cure not to just her mother's disease, but that of millions of people afflicted around the world.

"How can I possibly thank you enough for this?" Irina asked Lena with dark eyes and speaking in a shaking voice barely above a whisper so choked with emotion.

"You don't have to thank me, Mama…I did nothing except give them my cells inherited from you. All our cells needed, was an anti-gravity environment to change and produce the results needed for a cure. You gave me life, these anomalies…and you're the one who instilled my love of the moon." Lena whispered back and cried softly when Irina leaped forward quickly, hugging her tightly and crying. "Go ahead, Mama…cure yourself." She laughed softly pulling back and Irina cupped her cheeks, holding her eyes shaking her head softly in wonder and then kissed her forehead, both cheeks and lips before reaching out with shaking hand to take the syringe from Lena.

Irina took a deep breath with nervousness and smiled looking around at everyone who was doing the same and uncapped the syringe. She lifted the edge of her shirt exposing her abs and slid the needle in just over her pancreas; she swallowed hard for just a moment while her eyes flashed to Lena's and pushed the plunger in. Everyone broke into loud roaring cheers while Irina removed the needle capping it again and then laughing softly with them before attacking Lena again with hugs again. "Thank you…thank you."

And just as she said it would, within hours and repeated testing later, Irina's blood sugar was holding steady as her body had kicked in and started producing its own insulin after twenty years without. She would need to repeatedly check her blood sugar as usual for at least a month to ensure it was working properly and after a month she was cleared as fully cured. The world rejoiced at yet another cure produced ridding humanity of another terrible disease and yet more cures in the works from the knowledge they'd gained working with Lena's cells in the environment in space, with a fully functioning lab continuously studying them from the moon.

* * *

_June 1st, 2022_

"So how do you think I should approach Mama and Daddy about spending the summer in Alexandria and Cairo searching the bottom of the ocean for Cleopatra's lost treasures?" Nadia smiled over at Lena when the two were lying in bed one night chatting.

Since Lena's return from Japan a year ago, Nadia had come into Lena's room several nights a week to chat with her sister while lying in bed about anything, everything, and nothing. Sometimes Sydney would join them and they'd lie side by side, sometimes they'd laugh, other times they'd cry and with each conversation, their bond as sisters only grew stronger.

"I figure that if you can convince them to let you go to the moon for three weeks, I should be able to get them to be okay with me being gone for a little over a month under the ocean." Nadia rolled over on her side with a wide smile. "Course, I won't be discovering any cures for diseases like you…" She teased softly reaching for Lena's hand and clasping it, so incredibly proud and thankful to her sister for that.

"Maybe not, but I've no doubt you'll discover something equally fascinating." Lena smiled softly, "I've always been in love with space and you with the sea. They won't stop you from going. If they hesitate, its only because they'll miss you. I'll miss you." She added just as quietly.

"So come with us." Nadia smiled feeling the tears in her eyes, "You don't have to be back at the Academy for two more months…I'm going to miss you, too." She laughed softly reaching up to wipe her fallen tears.

"I would love to…but I already promised Mama I'd go with her on her tour of Russia this summer…I need to go with her." Lena spoke quietly with a soft smile knowing the importance of such a trip, meeting with the actual citizens of her country and establishing good relations, finding out their needs that varied greatly from place to place and taking care of them and what needed to be done. It was all part of what made her mother such a great ruler, one the people loved and cared for a great deal, because she loved and cared about them the same. "And it wasn't I, who convinced them to let me go to the moon…it was Nee-Nee." She smiled and Nadia laughed softly. Lena's nickname for their older sister would never change and they both felt lucky to have her on their side in life.

Nadia knew she didn't need her parent's permission to go search the depths of the ocean over the summer, but she wanted it just as Lena had in going to the moon.

"You're going to be an amazing ruler, just like Mama when your time comes, Lena." Nadia spoke quietly after assessing her sister in silence for a moment, thinking about all that she had already done and the way she handled herself in everything she did now.

"I don't know about that," Lena shook her head softly and then turned over lying her forearm over her head staring up at the ceiling, "It all comes so naturally to Mama…like breathing. I'm trying to learn from her…but I'm terrified of failing before I've ever begun."

"Well, don't be." Nadia responded with a smile, "You're a natural at it too…You just have to stop thinking about it so much and just be who you are. That's what makes Mama so great and you, too. It's who you are. You're just the same, Lena." She smiled looking at her sister's profile and seeing her mother's, "When your time comes…you'll be fine…better than fine." She nudged her slightly, "So stop fretting about it and just enjoy your summer."

Lena sighed heavily, "We'll see, I guess…" She paused a moment and then rolled over smiling softly. "So when are you going to ask them?"

"After breakfast tomorrow…" Nadia sighed with a smile shaking her head. "Perhaps, I can convince them to come to Egypt for Daddy's birthday?"

"I don't think that would take much convincing." Lena laughed softly, "Its one of their favorite places to go."

"That's what I'm counting on." Nadia smiled.

"Good. You can be the ice breaker then for what I'm going to tell them." Lena smiled with a hint of mischief in her eyes that Nadia hadn't seen in far too long with so much sadness.

"And what's that?" Nadia asked trying to rein in her raging smile at seeing Lena's smile widen beside her.

"They've already asked me back on another mission." Lena answered her quietly and smiled seeing Nadia's eyes widen in surprise.

"To the moon?" Nadia asked in a near whisper unblinking as she stared at her sister beside her.

"Yes." Lena nodded softly against her pillow. "They've already scheduled me for at least two more lunar missions. They're letting me break the news to Mama." She laughed softly that even those at her Space Agency ASA and NASA were intimidated by breaking the news to the Tsar of Imperial Russia that they scheduled to take 'her baby' back into space.

"Yes!" Nadia's smile raged with pumped and clenched fists, "They're definitely going to say yes to Egypt now, if you're going back into space!" She giggled loudly and it was Lena this time, whose heart melted slightly with happiness to see and hear the joy in her sister's eyes again after so much sadness of her own. "Thank you, Lena!"

"No," Lena shook her head laughing softly along with Nadia at her excitement. "If it weren't for you and Nicolai, I wouldn't be able to go and do this…so thank you. For existing." Lena added the last with a teasing smile and Nadia laughed again. Without other heirs to potentially inherit the throne of Russia if something were to happen to her, Lena would have been forbidden of living out this portion of her dreams and actually being able to fly and work in space.

"You're most welcome." Nadia smiled reaching over and taking hold of her sisters hand lying between them and giving it a squeeze, using a teasing tone but the look in her eyes held the note of a serious undertone. "Just make sure you come back, _Tsarevicha_. We need you. _I_ _need you_." She added with a soft smile and new tears looking at her sister that she'd nearly lost too many times in the past year and a half. You are meant to be the Tsar, Lena, not I."

"I will come back. Promise." Lena answered her with the same teary smile. "And you're right. You aren't meant to be the Tsar of Imperial Russia." Lena's tone swayed and her eyes danced mischievously again switching back to a lighter teasing tone and away from such seriousness. "I think…" She paused dramatically with smile growing wider, "You're meant to be the Queen of Greece."


	67. Chapter 67

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Egypt **_**by Lorrena McKeenit,**_** Portugese Love Theme **_**by Craig Armstrong**_**, Sirtaki **_**by Andre Rieu**_**, The Beach Song **_**by Hans Zimmer,**_** Everything I Own **_**by Jude**_**, Dragula Remix **_**by Rob Zombie**_**, Over Again (Cicada Extended Remix) **_**by Odessi ft. Maria Nayler,**_** Thunderstruck **_**by AC/DC, _Say All I Need _by One Republic.**

* * *

SIXTY-SEVEN

o

**_*Egypt*_**

Jack and Irina agreed to let Nadia go with heavy hearts at going to miss her and slight trepidation having become so protective of her after Cuba. Knowing she was going to be with Nikolas all the time brought a great deal of comfort as did the fact that they weren't going to be all that far from his family in Greece in case something should arise. Irina had even arranged for the two to stay aboard _Imperial III_. while they cruised around off Egypt's shores doing their exploring and searching for the countries hidden underwater treasures. They planned to meet up with them in Greece for Jack's birthday celebrating with Nadia and Nikolas and his parents before going to California for the remainder of the summer meeting up with everyone else who'd already be there.

Nadia left three days after speaking with them and they in turn left on the same day for their Imperial tour of Russia. Many tears were shed on that day and after with phone calls made twice daily in checking in with each other over the course of the next couple of months. Nadia and Nikolas searched the waters everywhere off Alexandria moving out further into the sea every day and finding more and more treasures of the ancient culture and half way between Greece and Egypt, they dove a spot never before searched based on something Nadia had read in hieroglyphics on a broken tablet they found buried in the mud about an old trade route between the two countries. They had decided to follow its path back to Greece and what they found at the bottom of the sea had them both scrambling to the surface and screaming with joy and disbelief before plunging back down with more equipment to clear sediment.

"We can't tell anybody about this yet…" Nikolas smiled pulling Nadia up out of the water after he climbed onboard the back of the massive yacht.

"I know." Nadia's face was lit like a mega-watt light bulb, "I think I'm in shock." She smiled looking at the sparkling items in her hand.

"You're a genius!" Nikolas squealed in disbelief himself, picking her up and twirling in a circle with her, "If you hadn't have found that tablet…been able to read it…" He shook his head, "We found it! _We_," He motioned rapidly back and forth excitedly between them, "_Found it!_" He picked her up and spun her around again.

"I have to tell Mama about this…I can't keep something like this from my parents." Nadia shook her head and he nodded.

"I know…we'll tell them tonight night at dinner." Nikolas smiled looking at his watch, "They're going to want to know why we're late anyway." He laughed, "I think we've got a good reason."

"How are we going to just leave it, I mean…what's to stop someone from finding it and claiming it now that we've uncovered a great deal of it?" Nadia's eyes suddenly flashed with panic.

"They're not going to find it. We'll be back in a couple of days and it's in Greek waters. If they tried to lift it from the sea we're going to know. It will be a massive undertaking." Nikolas smiled, "I still can't believe we found it…and so close to Greece."

"I can only imagine what else is hidden down there waiting to be uncovered by another storm and shifting sands." Nadia smiled widely looking at the glittering pieces in her hand, "She touched these, Nikolas…these were hers."

"Gifts from her Antony." Nikolas smiled grazing his fingers over the spectacular pieces and small signature in Latin inside addressed to, My Love. "Given to his love as I to you."

"We can't…I can't keep these!" Nadia shook her head with wide eyes, "They belong in a museum."

"There is plenty more down there to go into a museum. As the first finds, I want you to keep them…from one queen to another." He smiled softly.

"I'm not a queen." Nadia gasped softly shaking her head as she looked down at the magnificent jewelry in her hands.

"You will be." Nikolas grazed her cheek with a smile and the back of his fingers catching her eyes, "Someday…you'll be the Queen of Greece." He kissed her lips just seconds after the soft gasp left her mouth.

* * *

Nadia smiled as she walked out of the house after dinner and eyes flashed over to Nikolas with a soft nod. She set the pieces down before her mother and Irina's voice stopped mid-sentence in speaking with Kristin and Orion while they all gasped with wide-eyes and Nadia and Nikolas took their seats.

"What are these?" Irina gasped softly picking up the immaculate gold bracelets with rubies, diamonds, sapphires and emeralds lining the outside and Kristin fingered the unbelievable necklaces. The closer Irina looked at the bracelets she realized the precious stones were actually the backs and wings of beetles…scarab beetles in their intricate designs. "Where did you get these?" Her eyes flashed up knowing they were Egyptian and then seeing the Latin inscription knowing whom she thought they could have belonged to once.

"They're Cleopatra's." Nadia answered with smiling eyes and speaking softly while fingering her hair behind her ear with a soft smirk knowing she was about to blow their parents away, "We found it."

"Found what?" Kristin gasped with extremely wide-eyes hearing the necklace in her hands belonged to the last Pharaoh of Egypt.

"We found her golden barge…not far off the coast of Greece." Nadia smiled and laughed softly at the look on her parents faces as well as Nikolas's.

"What?" Jack asked not knowing if he heard them correctly.

"Yes, Daddy…we found her golden barge. Nikolas and I found it…and on it, we found those." Nadia smiled nodding.

"You found her barge?" Irina's eyes held Nadia's fast and then when Nadia nodded again Irina's eyes flashed down to the bracelets in her hand and held them with shaking hands of disbelief. "How?"

"Nadia found a tablet…not far outside of the sunken ruins of Alexandria…on the tablet it spoke of the trade route between Greece and Egypt. We decided to follow it back to Greece…diving along the way," Nikolas smiled clasping Nadia's hand beside him, "And this morning…we saw something shiny in the sediment…we were almost out of oxygen from diving a long time already but Nadia just had to have whatever it was and was going to go back down and get it but I went instead and sent her up. It was the first bracelet…and when I brushed the mud around it…I found the others."

"He came flying to the surface and we changed tanks and went back down and when we did…we saw more glimmering metal," Nadia smiled enjoying the telling of this tale, "Gold…gold plates with hieroglyphics on them…the more sediment we brushed off of them, the wider and larger the piece became…it seemed to go on forever…at least a hundred meters…and that's when we realized…from the writing on the sides…it was the side of a boat…and not just any boat, but hers."

"It's buried in the sediment on its side…more than a thousand years of mud and sand washed completely over it." Nikolas picked up in their mutual telling with a smile at the four parents whose mouths were slightly ajar. "We went back up and got the sand blowing equipment and ever so slowly…she revealed her glorious beauty to us…we had to quit before we uncovered her whole starboard side to come here and meet you…but she's down there…in all her golden glory…she's there."

"It's really made of gold?" Kristin asked with astounded eyes and awe in her voice.

Nikolas picked up an object wrapped in a towel on the chair beside him and slowly unwrapped it revealing what was inside. "The barge is completely gold plated…the thin plates of stamped gold cover the wooden structure and have protected it for thousands of years from the elements…this is one of the plates." He nodded with a smile at the piece of gold roughly a foot long and eight inches in height stamped with the image of Cleopatra on her thrown with two servants kneeling before her and the symbol of Isis at the base of her throne.

"And not far from the jewelry…buried in the mud," Nadia nodded at him seeing her parents and his were stunned into silence with fingers grazing over the items, "We found this." Nikolas slid another towel wrapped around something towards her and Nadia unwrapped it. A golden box roughly 6 inches deep, 10 inches long and 8 inches wide, and was easily identifiable as a jewelry box covered in hieroglyphics. "According to what this says…her father gave this to her on her seventeenth birthday…"

"Ptolemy?" Irina gasped and then eyes rapidly read the inscribed hieroglyphics that did indeed reveal just that. The King of Egypt had given it as a gift to his daughter Cleopatra on the last birthday he was alive to see.

"Open it." Nadia nodded with a smile at her mother while her fingers brushed lightly over her lips in nervousness knowing her mother's own obsession with history having been the one to spark such interest in her.

Irina carefully lifted the lid off the box and felt its weight in gold, setting it down slowly with her eyes locked on what was inside.

"My God…" Kristin gasped out in a long breath while Irina reached in with trembling fingers and removed the item. The box was not just a jewelry box…the gift Cleopatra's father had given her, was her crown headband knowing she was to take over after he died. The crown was more like a tiara made of a single piece of gold in a circular shape to fit around her head quite simple in its design with just the gold band all the way around with rubies cut in the shapes of diamonds set in an intricate pattern in the gold and in its front the distinct Egyptian cobra flowed upwards in its regal pose and two tiny rubies marked its eyes and smooth turquoise stones marking the spread of the cobra's hood. Cleopatra's image had been sculpted many times in hieroglyphics, in Roman paintings and in Greek sculptures as wearing this exact crown…the headband crown King Ptolemy XII. had given her. "How old is that do you think?" Kristin choked having an idea but still in disbelief. Cleopatra was after all, truly a Greek after descending from the line of Ptolemies whom were placed as rulers of Egypt by Alexander the Great.

"Around 51 B.C." Irina's hands shook holding the object with eyes flashing up to meet her daughter's astonished. She always knew Nadia was a born explorer and would accomplish great things as such but this…was unimaginable. "Close to 2,100 years old."

"Oh…" Jack gasped with fingers rubbing nervously over his mouth as well, "Wow…" He looked at the object in his wife's hands blinking hard with realization that it had once adorned the head of the last Pharaoh of Egypt. "Now what?" His eyes flashed up to Nadia and then over to Nikolas.

"We spend the rest of the summer unearthing the barge and searching the area around it." Nadia smiled at her father with pure joy oozing from her pores in ways it hadn't in years.

They spent the next two hours talking incessantly about the find and plans for excavation with both sets of parents offering any help they could in lifting these great treasures from the sea floor.

Nikolas motioned with his eyes towards his mother after a while and Kristin smiled softly with a nod before speaking, "Nadia, would you mind helping me in the kitchen, I think this calls for some celebratory cheesecake?"

"Of course," Nadia smiled and Nikolas stood helping her to stand kissing her cheek with a radiant smile while she went off into the house on his mother's arm.

"We must toast as well," Nikolas's father smiled standing as well with a soft nod at his son, "I'll get some champagne."

Irina noticed the immediate change in Nikolas's behavior and also the way both of his parents had left, looking their son in the eyes with a soft…supportive nod. Her stomach immediately did a flip-flop and her heart sped up rapidly.

Jack's eyes flashed to his wife when her finger's wrapped around his beneath the table though she wasn't looking at him but staring intently at Nikolas and Jack realized the look on the Dark Princes' face as well.

"I wanted the chance to speak with the both of you privately… though it hasn't been easy in getting you alone without causing suspicion from Nadia," Nikolas began slowly and nervously swallowing hard several times and looked up to see a glint in Irina's eyes from new tears before he ever spoke, a smile tugging on her lips and Jack's face completely ashen. "I love your daughter with everything I am," His quiet voice quivered with emotion and tears formed in his own eyes while he took a deep breath; "She is my match…my equal…my partner in adventure," He smiled fingering the delicate bracelet of the ancient queen and watched the single tear fall from Irina's eye, "My best friend…when I take over the throne of Greece from my father…I want…no," He shook his head softly changing his wording, "I need… Nadia sitting beside me…as my Queen…as my wife…I can't imagine my life without her." He felt his own tears falling, "I'm asking you both with great respect for you and your daughter…if you'll please give me your blessing to ask for Nadia's hand in marriage?"

Jack felt his mouth go dry and breathing cease with the question. His mind rapidly flying through Nadia's life from the moment he knew of her conception all the way through until now when he looked through the glass windows and saw her smiling and laughing with Kristin as they prepared the cheesecake. She was his baby girl… his Firecracker.

"I promise I'll love her and respect her until my last breath," Nikolas added in a quiet rush when a moment passed with both of them looking at him.

"I'm sure you will." Irina spoke in the same quiet voice with a smile having had the same flash of Nadia's life thus far go before her eyes. She felt Jack squeeze her hand and nodded softly beside her, knowing the both of them, that there was no one else who would love or protect, care for and respect Nadia more then the young man before them now. He'd proven himself to them long ago, "Yes, Nikolas…you have our blessing." Irina smiled softly at him and saw his tears finely escape his eyes as he gasped with a raging smile having apparently been holding his breath waiting for their answer.

"Thank you," He smiled reaching up rapidly to wipe the fallen tears and heard the sliding glass door open and Nadia's laughter and his mother's.

"I'm going to find Dad and help him carry in the champagne glasses." He quickly blinked back the tears as did Irina and then stood rapidly and spun avoiding her gaze so she wouldn't see the tears in his eyes and ask questions.

Nadia's eyebrows pinched only slightly watching him trail away rapidly but turned her attention back to the table. The tear tracks on her mother's face were unmistakable, "Mama, why were you crying?" She asked putting down the plates.

"I'm just so proud of you." Irina covered gracefully picking up the delicate headband from the box once more, "I keep seeing your' adorably little sweet face while you were digging in the sand looking for treasure when we were at the beach when you were little and now…" She shook her head, "You've found the best treasure of all," Her eyes flashed up to Nadia's knowing her daughter thought she was talking about Cleopatra's golden barge and that's what she wanted her to think, but in reality, was speaking of another treasure…the best treasure of true and real love. Nadia had really found the shiny object at the bottom of the sea and it was hers' forever.

Kristin tried hard not to tear up as well, knowing exactly what her son had asked them and shared her knowing smile with both Jack and Irina before reaching over and gently squeezing Irina's hand.

"She's only eighteen though," Jack whined softly sitting on the edge of their bed when they turned in later that night.

"I was eighteen when you asked me to marry you." Irina reminded him with a smile wrapping her arms around him from behind and kissing his jaw.

"Yeah, but I didn't know that!" Jack countered with his own slanted eyebrow and Irina laughed softly turning him around and pushing him down, crawling over his chest and propping herself up on her folded arms to look down at him from her usual perch.

"That made no difference. Age is a number…that is all. She's far beyond her years in maturity, as is he, after the last couple of years…" She spoke softly with a teary-eyed smile, "They love each other and I know that will never change… We both knew this would happen eventually."

"Yes, eventually…not now." Jack sighed heavily not liking the idea of letting his baby go.

"What difference does it make if its next year or in five?" Irina asked him quietly with a knowing eyebrow, "If you had known how old I really was…would you not have asked me to marry you when you did?"

"No," Jack answered immediately and then sighed again when she smiled knowing she already knew his answer, "I loved you and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…Waiting over a year to ask you was already torturous enough." His hands slid up her back and kissed her lips lightly leaning up to her face.

"And that's how he feels too, I'm sure." Irina smiled softly, "He'll take good care of her, Jack. He already does. They're happy."

"I know." Jack sighed softly in defeat with a matching smile, "It's just… she grew up so fast. I'm not ready for it." He shook his head softly.

"I don't think any parent ever is, no matter how old their child." Irina smiled softly leaning down to capture his lips with her own again.

* * *

**_*Portuguese Love Theme*_**

The following day was the two-year anniversary of the first day Nikolas had taken Nadia with him down the beach to the old ruins and on this day, he took her back. The two of them riding on the same horse with smiles and laughs throughout the morning with Nadia completely unaware her world was about to change yet again once they got to the old ruins.

"Nadia…" Nikolas called out softly having watched her walking around in the flower and vine covered structure for quite some time. His hands were shaking when they removed the object from his pocket, holding it tightly in his closed fist. "Come here please." He asked with a soft smile loving the way she instantly cocked her head to the smile looking at him with a bemused curious smile about what he was up to. She walked over to him with arms folded over her chest and stood before him, squeezing his fingers when he reached for her hand. "I love you…" He whispered softly with a smile.

"I love you too." She smiled in turn reaching up to brush his face gently with one hand, "What's going on?"

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," His eyes started to water and he kissed her knuckles, "I love you, Nadia…you're my best friend, my buddy," He smiled with a soft laugh when she did and then heard her gasp watching the color immediately drain from her face when he knelt down on one knee still holding her hand, "Will you be my wife?" He asked with a voice choked in emotion, his dark eyes holding to hers.

"Are you really asking me to marry you?" Nadia asked in a shocked whisper and he laughed softly nodding.

"Yes," Nikolas smiled and held the ring up that took her breath away, "Will you marry me? Have babies with me? Grow old with me?"

"Yes…" She answered in whispered cry and then inhaled a sob when he did sliding the ring onto her shaking finger and then lunged down at him, holding him tightly, "I'll be your wife…I love you…I love you." She cried in a whisper with tears of happiness, laughing softly while he held her tightly. She pulled back and looked into his eyes before leaning in and kissing him soundly. The kiss deepened and soon the raw emotion flooding through them both took over and clothes began to tear away with the need to be one completely; naked skin on naked skin.

When they rode back to the house later that afternoon, it was two sets of eager parents that awaited them with mother's squealing in delight to see the ring on Nadia's finger and the smile on her face.

"So you said, 'yes." Irina cried the moment she saw her and Nadia's mouth fell open having not said a thing yet.

"You knew?" She gasped with tears in her eyes from happiness while her mother threw her arms around her.

"He asked us last night." Irina cried holding her tightly smiling over her shoulder at the gorgeous young man who would become her son-in-law.

"That's why you were crying!" Nadia came to the realization with a smile and Irina nodded pulling back to cup her cheeks.

"Yes, congratulations, Sweetheart." Irina whispered with tears staining her cheeks, "I'm so happy for you."

"We both are." Jack added softy with a smile seeing the pure joy lighting his daughter's eyes. Nadia moved over to him and held him tightly in a hug.

"Thank you, Daddy." She cried softly, holding on a bit longer and then kissing his cheek before moving on to hug Kristin and Orion.

"So have you set a date?" Kristin asked excitedly with a wide smile.

"Honey, they just got engaged!" Orion laughed at her eagerness.

"Well actually, we talked about it already and since this day seems to be so monumental for us…" Nadia smiled shyly over to Nikolas linking her fingers with his and then brushing her hair over her ear, "We've decided to get married, a year from today."

"Perfect." Irina smiled softly wrapping them both in a hug.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace- May 2023_

"I don't like it." Irina walked into the bedroom, stripping off her suit as she came through the door.

"Don't like what?" Jack asked already in bed and peering over the top of his book. He set it down with a smile seeing his wife was clearly flustered and knowing why. She'd been saying the same thing every night when she came home from work to the empty house for the last few weeks.

"It's too quiet. It's…_unnatural_." Irina shook her head sitting down on the end of the bed with a deep sigh. "I don't like it."

"I don't like it either." Jack threw back the covers and came to sit beside her with a soft smile, he pulled her into his side with a one armed hug. "I know we should be enjoying the fact, that for the first time, we have the entire palace to ourselves save Dmitri, and instead of enjoying the silence… I just feel haunted by it."

"Exactly." Irina nodded with soft tears forming in her eyes. "And it's not the first time." She added softly and Jack narrowed his eyebrows with slight confusion. Irina didn't need to see his face to know he didn't understand what she meant or why else this bothered her so. "I spent years alone in this massive palace in silence, Jack. Years without my family. It was too quiet then… and it's too quiet now."

"Ah," Jack's eyes widened with understanding and held her a little more tightly, dropping a kiss to her gorgeous head. He knew it was also that much worse as Sunday was _Mother's Day_ and it would be the first time since she'd been separated from Sydney all those years ago, that none of her children would be around to celebrate the day with her. "So what do you suggest we do for the next month?" He asked not liking the tears he saw in his wife's eyes and gently turned her face towards his with a smiling grin. "Take a few trips and drop in on our kids?" He laughed softly trying to lighten the mood and make her smile.

"We can't." Irina sighed in defeat with slumping posture and cried. "One is on the moon," She waved her hand up towards the sky thinking about Lena who had left two weeks ago on her second mission to space, "another beneath the Indian Ocean," She waved the same hand out in front of her dramatically with new tears thinking about Nicholas on a sub beneath the sea and made Jack smile with her gestures, and loving her all the more for it. "And Nadia is still at sea working on the excavation!" She waved her hand down towards the ground and head and shoulders dropped while she cried and Jack laughed softly pulling her into his arms fully now. "It's not funny, Jack!" She scolded him still crying into his chest.

"I know, My Love." Jack smiled kissing her head again trying to stifle his laughter. "I feel the same way. We may not be able to visit the three youngest, but we can still make a trip to see the other two in California and India. Even drop by Italy to see your sister and the rest of the Motley Crew."

Sydney, Michael and their children were spending the first couple of months of summer in Los Angeles while, Julian, Ash and their children spent some time in India with her family. Mikhail and Bella were back in France for the summer and Katya, Marcelo, Sofia, Eric, Sergei, Madeline and all their children spend the summer traveling Italy. Everyone had planned their trips abroad at the same time. And with Lena on a mission, Nicholas on a summer submarine cruise, and Nadia working her excavation, the house was empty leaving just Jack, Irina and Dmitri alone in Russia for the first time.

"My babies are all too far away, Jack." Irina sniffled whipping at her tears. "They grew up too quickly. I miss them."

"I know, My Love. I miss them too." Jack smiled with an amused grin at the secrets he was keeping.

When Mother's Day arrived, Irina woke with tears quickly coming to her eyes. Her room was usually flooded by now with her children and grandchildren all piling into her bed with kisses, hugs, smile and laughter as they all celebrated the day together. This year, it was too quiet. Jack had already woken apparently and was absent from their bed, undoubtedly making breakfast for her and she smiled through her tears with love for him and his attempts to make her feel better.

She was lying on her side with her back to the door, staring at the framed photo of her entire family when she heard the soft knock at her door that she instantly recognized and had her bolting upright in bed with a pounding heart. "Sydney?" She called out seeing the door slowly open and her eldest appeared with a raging smile and tears of her own.

"Happy Mother's Day Mom." Sydney smiled stepping into the room and pulling her daughters behind her.

"You're here!" Irina launched herself at her child and held on tightly, smiling and swaying back and forth in happiness. Her eyes only widened further when Nadia, Katya, Sofia, Mia, Ash, Ria and Isolde all piled behind them. "You're all here!" She literally bounced with excitement, pulling them all to her in a group hug with raining tears of happiness.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"We wanted to surprise you." Nadia answered. "We didn't like the idea of all being separated on Mother's Day either. Daddy told me how upset you've been with the palace being too quiet. So we thought-"

"Why not come sooner and spend the entire week?" Katya finished holding her sister tightly. "We thought we were doing you and Jack a favor by giving you some alone time, scheduling all of our trips away at the same time."

"I appreciate the gesture, but I've had enough time alone in my life." Irina answered quietly wiping at the tears on her cheeks when Katya pulled back. She loved spending time alone with Jack but to have the entire rest of the family all gone at the same time was too much. It felt too empty. "I'm just so happy you're all here." She smiled more widely hugging and kissing them all again.

"The boys are all downstairs making breakfast with Dad." Sydney smiled. "They are giving us time alone to have our beloved Snuggle Party."

When they were all settled into their normal places in the massive bed, Irina smiled with new tears of happiness to feel them all around her again. "Only one thing could make this moment even more perfect." She sighed with the noticeable absent of one very important person missing from their normal configuration in the bed.

_"Lena."_ The rest of them all said at the same time, missing her as well.

They hadn't seen her for the last six weeks as she'd left a month before her Launch Date to do more training prior to the actual mission. She would be spending a month total working on the Lunar Station before returning to Earth and then another week in Florida before returning to Russia, making it two months total without any of them seeing her. They'd all planned to be in Florida when she landed in two weeks, but even that seemed too long away considering how long she'd been gone already. Talking on the phone with her daily and watching her on the Video Feed helped to ease some of the separation but Irina couldn't wait to hold her in her arms again.

Nicholas, at least, was given Leave from the sub to join the family during the 20th Anniversary of the Coronation and they would get to see him soon.

Irina's phone began ringing a moment later. Ria reached for it on the nightstand and smiled looking at the Caller ID and reading, _NASA_. "It's Lena!" She announced excitedly and they quickly passed the phone over them towards Irina, knowing that Lena was likely calling to wish her mother a Happy Mother's Day from space.

"Hello," Irina answered with a hopeful smile.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mama." Lena smiled into the phone from where she sat in the window of her room in the Lunar Space Station, looking out at the Earth in the distance. "I love you and I miss you."

"I love you and miss you too." Irina answered with new tears and a smile. "We are all snuggled in my bed and your absence is noticeably felt, Sweetheart."

"I'd love to be there. My heart could use some refueling." Lena added quietly. Irina could hear the sigh in her voice and quiet pain that only she would understand. Lena was a mother, without her child. Today, a day to celebrate mothers, was a day filled with mixed emotions in celebrating the ones they loved and in missing those who were gone.

"I understand." Irina answered her quietly thinking about losing baby Jack and Sydney, and all the years she spent alone as a mother without her children. It was painful and torturous to suffer alone. "We will do our best to send our love." She looked over the group surrounding her and saw them all nodding in understanding only hearing her part of the conversation and could imagine what Lena was needing on this day and so far away. "When you get back, we'll have a group slumber party. I think we could all use a bit more refueling given the distances we've been separated this summer." She smiled through tear filled eyes.

"I'd like that." Lena nodded blinking back her own tears and then smiling. "And I'm very much looking forward to us all spending fun times together in Greece."

* * *

_Santorini, Greece- July 2023_

**_*Sirtaki*_**

They formed a large circle alternating Russians and Greeks and all quite liquored up on Vodka and Ouzo having that in common with their wedding traditions at the reception.

"Opa!" Orion threw down a plate shattering it everywhere joining the rest of the glass on the floor and hit his heel with a smiling laugh.

_"Opa!"_ Irina mimicked his movements crashing her own plate to the floor and everyone else followed suit.

"This is the best wedding ever." Weiss laughed throwing down another plate, "Well besides my own of course." He smiled over at Sophia who threw him a look with a teasing smile.

"I'll agree! _Opa!"_ She threw down another plate and kicked her leg up behind her hitting her heel. "Russians and Greeks like to drink, eat and break things! _Opa!_" She laughed again throwing down her glass.

Nikolas hopped into the middle of the circle looking entirely handsome and happy and everyone began clapping around him as he danced the traditional Greek dance and pulled his new bride in with him. It had started slow and with the band's tempo increasing their movements did too.

"She's Greek already!" Kristin smiled with a laugh at her new daughter-in-law who had picked up the dance with ease just from watching them dancing before.

The wedding ceremony had been elaborate and beautiful with thousands of guests in the attendance and broadcast around Greece, Russia and a majority of the world. The Crown Prince of Greece marrying the Grand Duchess of Imperial Russia was like a wedding from a fairytale. Nadia was even more astonishingly beautiful on this day then normal with a radiant glow about her and a smile that would not stop.

They had both cried while giving their vows and watching them walk around the table together in Greek tradition taking their first steps as husband and wife had everyone crying with uncontrollable tears. The road to get them this far had not been easy but their love for each other was strong and could survive anything they now knew with certainty. Greece had welcomed Nadia with open arms and were overjoyed on this day celebrating in their own ways with big parties in the street throughout the country as the private reception raged on under the brilliant summer moon in Santorini. The two heritages had been combined and the fun was at a maximum with them sharing in each other's customs.

"We're going to have gorgeous grandchildren." Kristin smiled over at Irina and Jack's eyebrows rose significantly with Orion laughing and handing him another drink.

"She's been talking about another wave of grandchildren for some time." Orion elaborated with smile, "With as many fertility blessings as my beautiful wife threw on their bed … I wouldn't be surprised if the first was conceived tonight." His laughter rang out loudly with alcohol rosy cheeks at the instant look on Jack's face with his eyes flashing back and forth between his daughter and new son-in-law.

"Here's hoping so!" Kristin smiled widely raising her glass in salute, downing the clear contents and then slamming it down shattering it on the floor, _"Opa!"_

"Nikko told her that he and Nadia were planning on waiting a couple of years to have a baby being so busy with their excavation of the barge site but my wife can be very persuasive with the Fertility Gods. She's gotten her way with grandbabies with each of our daughters." Orion laughed shaking his head looking at the copious amounts of children running around and dancing, "Our children's plans may be overridden by my anxious wife's."

"Oh, come now, my husband," Kristin smiled grabbing his face and kissing it, "Were you not just telling me last night how you missed the intoxicating smell of a new baby and those tiny hands and feet?"

Orion shrugged with a guilty smile and laugh while Irina smiled at Jack softly, lost in the dreamy idea of a new baby in their family.

* * *

_November 16, 2023 - Pasadena, CA_

"Good morning," Nadia smiled softly at Lena when she walked into in the midst of cutting up her delicious orange fruit. She knew this day was not easy on her sister, "Would you like some mango?" Nadia smiled over the breakfast island at her, holding out a piece to Lena.

The men had all left to go golfing at the first sign of daylight and the girls planned to spend a lazy day at home with Sydney, Nadia, Lena and Irina spending the day together, just the four of them.

"No, thank you." Lena shook her head softly with a smile, "I never quite grew the obsession you, Mama and Sydney all seem to have with it. I'll take some juice though." She smiled seeing the orange juice pitcher beside Nadia.

"Well, I never had an obsession with them,'" Nadia smiled reaching around to the cupboard behind her to get Lena a juice glass, "Although lately, I can admit I've been eating them a lot…especially since we arrived in LA."

Lena's eyes widened considerably with movements frozen and a slight shocked smile on her face.

"What?" Nadia asked pouring her sister some orange juice with a bemused smile looking at Lena.

**_*The Beach Song*_**

"You've never been obsessed with mangoes… though you've been eating them a lot lately…" Lena reverberated back to her in a soft tone, "I ate a lot of bananas when I was pregnant with Antony and didn't know it… Mama ate a lot of mangoes with Sydney and me and –"

Nadia gasped instantly and dropped the juice glass shattering it and the contents all over the floor.

_"Opa!"_ Lena smiled with a soft laugh staring at her sister's paling complexion. "Let me guess. You've been eating a lot of mangoes? Had an incredible sex drive and mind blowing orgasms?" She asked in an almost whisper with the corners of her mouth turning up when Nadia's eyes blinked _yes_ and looked away. "All classic signs of the _Derevko Woman Pregnancy_."

"What happened?" Sydney asked walking through the door moments later having just arrived. Her eyes scanning the floor soaking wet with juice and glass and Nadia frozen in place.

"Nee-nee," Lena smiled softly at her older sister, "How would you feel about making a trip to the pharmacy?" Her mouth smirked a little seeing Sydney's eyes flash from her to the mangoes in front of Nadia, the broken glass and the way her youngest sister was standing frozen in place.

"You're pregnant?" Sydney gasped in awe and walked through the glass and juice towards Nadia.

Nadia's hand went to her pajama top and lifted the fabric away from her shorts revealing her well defined abs from the hours of working out in the gym preparing for the next Olympics. Sliding her shorts down just a bit her hand skimmed over the teeny-tiny bump and palmed it; in that instant she knew as everything clicked into place.

"Yes." She answered in a whisper looking up with tears in her eyes. "What do I do?" She asked in a choked sob of concern. They hadn't planned on having a baby for at least another year or two and certainly not until after the Olympics were over. They were so busy with training for them, doing their royal duties as well as excavating and searching the sea floors they hadn't much time for anything else. "We weren't planning on having a baby now…"

"You know what they say," Sydney smiled with tears in her eyes running her hand over the side of Nadia's head, "_God laughs in the face of our best laid plans_. It's going to be okay." She tried to soothe her sister seeing the tears falling and the instant fear flashing through Nadia's eyes. "I'll got get you a test…or better yet, maybe we should send Mom." She laughed softly thinking about what the press would think of their mother buying a pregnancy test.

"Send me where?" Irina asked coming into the kitchen and stopping short when she saw the mess on the floor.

"To the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test." Sydney smiled watching her mother's eyes flash up at lightening speed to her and then Nadia beside her noticing for the first time her daughter's hand planted against the skin of her lower abdomen.

"You're pregnant?" Irina gasped with instant tears coming to her eyes looking at Nadia and watching her nod slowly with her own tears falling. "Oh Sweetheart…" She gasped and closed the distance rapidly, wrapping her arms around her tightly and holding her with a soft tear filled smile.

"Mama, what am I going to do? Nikolas and I weren't planning on having a baby yet? What if he's upset?" Nadia cried clinging to her mother.

"He's not going to be upset, Sweetheart. He loves you and I have no doubt he'll fall instantly in love with this baby." Irina pulled back cupping her face and wiping her tears with her thumbs from Nadia's cheeks, "It's going to be okay."

Sydney and Irina went to get the pregnancy test while Lena helped Nadia clean up the floor in the kitchen. Nadia's eyes flashed over to Lena while she was washing her hands in the sink and seeing the tears in Lena's eyes, she broke through her shock and remembered… _remembered_ what day this was and what it meant to her sister. "Lena…" She gasped with a surge of tears gaining Lena's attention immediately, "I'm so sorry…" She hiccupped on her sob and flung her arms around her neck feeling so guilty that she had just found out she was having a baby on the day her sister lost hers' three years before.

"Why are you sorry?" Lena asked with narrowing eyebrows holding Nadia tightly with tears falling.

"Because… today of all days to find out I'm pregnant. I'm sorry." Nadia cried and held her more tightly.

"Shhh," Lena immediately quieted her, shaking her head, "Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. It's a good birthday present for me." She smiled softly through her tears, willing the pain in her heart to subside hearing Nadia's cry, "I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you." She repeated softly pulling back and cupping Nadia's cheeks with a soft smile while tears ran from her eyes. "Don't worry about me. I'm okay."

Nadia knew that was a lie but threw her arms around Lena's neck again and held on crying, "I love you, Lena…I love you."

"I love you, too." Lena responded in a quiet voice with a soft smile, closing her eyes and willing her tears away.

The four of them sat on the edge of Irina's bed, side by side holding hands until they heard the timer go off and Nadia nodded at her mother to go see, already knowing it was positive.

Irina smiled with new tears staining her face when she picked up the little stick with two clear and distinct lines. She turned around and walked out of the bathroom, pausing in the doorway with the stick, "You're having a baby."

Sydney and Lena both squealed hugging Nadia between them with smiles and tears of happiness for her while Nadia sat in shock once more and cried looking at her mother squatting down before her and handing her the test. "I'm having a baby…" Nadia whispered to herself through her tears and Irina nodded seeing her daughter in shock.

* * *

**_*Everything I Own*_**

Lena ran and ran until she could run no further and found herself on the subway and finally, sitting in a giant green chair at Union Station watching the people passing by on their way home to their families. She was happy for Nadia and smiled softly through her tears thinking about her sister's face realizing she was pregnant but at the same time, her heart ached for her own loss. The images of Antony and her baby flashed through her mind relentlessly and she pulled her legs up to her chest feeling the stirring of the ghost child in her womb mixing with her Sensai's words about the birth of another in her future, another child she couldn't imagine and held in her sob unable to think about it without mourning for the one she lost.

Irina took notice of Lena's absence when she couldn't find her daughter for dinner, and upon speaking with her detail and then Max, found out where Lena was at. She knew her daughter's pain on this day and how much it must have stung in spite of her happiness for her, to find out Nadia was having a baby on this day or all days. It wasn't that Lena was angry or upset about a new baby in their lives, it just reminded her of the baby she lost and the pain his absence left in her heart.

She was staring out the window with silent tears streaking down her cheeks when Irina saw her as she walked down the aisle of the massive structure. She paused, standing still a few feet from Lena until her daughter turned her head slowly and locked eyes with her. Lena's face contorted into a held back sob and turned away again and Irina was at her side in a second, folding her into her arms and letting her cry softly against her while her own tears fell into Lena's hair.

* * *

_Athens, Greece - March 2024_

Nine months from her parent's wedding night, 'Elektra Nadia Irina' made her way screaming into the light. The moment Nikolas and Nadia had found out they were having a girl a new law was passed by her grandfather Orion and the Greek Parliament that no longer allowed only males to inherit the throne in the Greek Monarchy and so, Elektra became second in line after her father to the throne of Greece making her the Crown Princess of Greece.

Lena carefully took her new niece from her sister and smiled with tears at the tiny baby's yawn and splayed of her little fingers in her sleep.

"She's perfect." Lena sniffled looking up at Nadia and then Nikolas, everyone in the room watching Lena with the baby carefully, knowing this was the first time she held a baby since her own and all had tears in their eyes watching her with her niece.

"We decided a long time ago… but we wanted to ask you once she was here," Nadia began reaching out and grasping her sister's hand while watching her holding her baby she was still overwhelmed looking at her, that she was hers. "Lena, would you be her Godmother?" Nadia asked in almost a whisper and Lena's eyes instantly flooded with tears looking at her sister and then the baby in her arms.

"I'd be honored to." She nodded softly in a whisper of her own smiling softly and wiping at her tears before they dripped from her chin. She leaned forward and hugged Nadia with the baby carefully between them, crying softly for so many reasons.

Later that night, Irina entered Nadia's hospital room quietly to see her youngest lying on her side awake with tears streaming from her eyes as she watched Lena holding Elektra looking out the window at the moon and reciting '_Goodnight Moon'_ to her.

Lena had thought Nadia asleep when she began her quiet story to her niece with tears running from her eyes and gasped softly with a surge of tears when she felt her mother's arms close gently around her shoulders from behind, with cheek pressing against her head.

* * *

_May 15th 2024 - Coronation Anniversary_

With six weeks passed, Nadia, Nikolas and Elektra returned to Russia for her Russian Baptism and Coronation on the Anniversary of her family's reign. Lena and Nicholas were Elektra's only Godparents and during the party, Lena had disappeared with Elektra for a while, though they all knew where she had gone with her.

Nadia and Irina both cried holding hands when they first saw Lena kneeling in her gorgeous Imperial gown in the grass over the grave with the baby in the gorgeous white dress, speaking to her quietly though they couldn't hear what Lena was saying to Elektra, they knew introductions were being made and didn't want to intrude, thus leaving them alone quietly without disturbing them.

Lena had returned with her not long after and wore a smile through glassy eyes as she passed the baby back to her mother, kissing her cheek and then Elektra's forehead before moving on to mingle with the rest of the guests.

* * *

Nadia had decided that she still wanted to compete one last time in the Olympics and spent massive amounts of time in the gym with her coaches in preparing in the few short weeks she had in getting back into shape and ready for the games in Los Angeles. Her impeccable genes and great shape before her pregnancy helped her to bounce back rapidly and the world was a buzz when the news hit that she would be competing barely three and a half months after giving birth.

Even though she was now married to the Crown Prince of Greece and mother of the Crown Princess, Nadia was Russian in her heart and everyone understood when she announced that she would be competing under the Imperial Russian flag at the games as she had before. Her husband however, would be representing Greece again in Equestrian Riding and made for some fun bantering between them.

Nicholas was returning to diving and Jaxx was joining him in the pool swimming and had become the poster child for '_Reasons to Watch the Olympics,_' one of the many profiles they'd billboard up around Los Angeles to promote the games but was by far the most popular with his gorgeousness and impeccable physique in his Imperial white Speedo trunks. They had a good time teasing him whenever they drove by his massive photograph, especially Nicholas while Sydney was somewhat mortified that her son seemed to become a sex symbol overnight. At nineteen and single, he became the World's Most Eligible Bachelor the instant the billboard was revealed with girls around the world screaming his name.

Ria was joining Lena in Judo and the two would no doubt, end up facing each other at some point which had the world excited with anticipation to see the two gorgeous women, aunt and niece, facing off against one another. Lena would be back in all her previous events making her competitors groan quietly seeing she was in the best shape of her life. In the last four years since the Olympics their lives had changed considerably and though they were the same, they were also different people entering into this Olympic games. Where Nadia had been the sad one feeling all, alone in the last games, while Lena was blissfully happy with Antony, their lives seemed to have reversed. Nadia was the one now blissfully happy married to the love of her life with a new baby while Lena was the one feeling alone.

* * *

_Los Angeles, California - July 2024- Olympic Summer Games_

**_*Dragula Remix*_**

Irina carefully held her sleeping grandbaby against her chest waiting for Nadia to take begin her first routine on the Balance Beam while the world held their breath at seeing her again after so much had happened. Her arm was covered in her protective supportive sleeve and she looked towards the stands and her family, Russian, American and Greek with a smile blowing a kiss to her mother and baby before winking at Nikolas who nervously sat beside Irina. As Nadia had always done, she never revealed her routine to them before hand and this would once again be the first time they were seeing it along with the rest of the world.

At only twenty years old she was one of the older gymnasts now competing though the younger girls held her in high regard, with many of them having her as their gymnastics idol and asking her for her autograph even though they were competing against her.

The broadcasters were already having a field day talking about Nadia's comeback story, her broken arm and finish at the last Olympics, all that she had been through and then her recent marriage and birth of her daughter in the last amazing year while constantly showing repeating images on the screen from the last Olympics as well as zooming in on her gorgeous baby sleeping against her mother, the Tsar.

If they thought her routine the Olympics before had been astounding, they were completely blown away with the first of this years. No one dared to breath watching her flying around on the balance beam with wide eyes inventing yet new moves and performing her old new moves with perfection. When she finished a moment of stunned silence rang around before the arena erupted into a thunderous round of applause as Nadia made clear, she was back and more ready than ever.

One by one, she re-claimed her gold medals proving she was no one-time fluke of nature and truly the best gymnast in the world. When she completed her last rotation and flew off the uneven bars in the All-Around final, sticking her landing and gaining her perfect score, her family went spastic with cheers and tears, crying along with her when she stood on the podium hearing the Russian anthem and saying goodbye to the world of gymnastics as a competitor for the last time. The standing ovation lasted twenty minutes while everyone watched her thanking her coaches, hugging her mother and crying along with her and then taking her baby and kissing her along with her husband who had also won his gold medal in riding and just as she said she would be, the judge from her trial was in the stands watching her win with her own tears in her eyes to see how far the young woman had come in the almost four years since she saw her last: a new wife, mother, future Queen of Greece and true Olympic hero.

Nicholas and Jaxx dominated in the pool becoming known as the Dangerous Duo decimating their competition and winning their events including their favorite, the one they swam together as the third and fourth legs of the 4x100 Free Relay…so far ahead of the other teams they were out of the pool and celebrating their win before the second place team, the Australians, even touched the wall. Both boys announced in their comments on television after, with tears in their eyes, that they had decided to dedicate that race to their best friend Antony who had passed away and swam with everything in them, succeeding in breaking the World and Olympic records with the heart behind their swims.

Lena had once again proven why she was the ultimate 'Olympic Goddess' by easily snatching the Gold again in all her events though her wins were bittersweet without Antony there to celebrate with her. Every single competition, event and race she finished with thoughts of him and their baby. Coming back to her empty room in the Olympic village after each event, she'd shower change and then curl up into a ball, crying herself to sleep most nights in spite of how happy she'd been just before.

This Olympics, her last events were the marathon and then the final in Judo where she'd have to face off against Ria as everyone had feared and anticipated with the two of them being the best in the world, not to mention, training partners since they were tiny little girls.

After winning the Gold once more in the marathon, she headed back to the locker room to shower and change before joining her family in celebration. She had no idea that walking through that door into the empty room would forever change her life.

"Give me a half hour, okay?" She nodded with a smile at Max when she left him standing at the end of the main hallway and walked through the doors down another small hallway and then into the empty athlete's room.

The other athletes had already come and gone, leaving her alone and just the way she liked it without everyone's eyes on her as she showered and changed. They all looked at her with a mixture of awe, envy and pity and it was more then she could stand at times. She reached up and grabbed at her ponytail rubber band, releasing her long hair from its sweaty confines and then proceeded to peel off her soaked running top and shorts.

Grabbing her towel she marched forth into the shower and set the fluffy cotton fabric on the bench before turning on the water to steaming hot. She stood under its spray letting the hard water blast over her head and face for a long time before turning around and starting to wash. The steam quickly filled the room creating clouds of swirling mist saturating the air while she rinsed out her hair and let the water pound into her back muscles a few minutes more before turning it off. An uneasy feeling swept over her like a blast of cold air causing her skin to tremble when she reached for her towel. The feeling that someone else was in the locker room with her immediately caught her attention.

"Hello?" She called out in English securing the towel around her body by rolling it over at the chest, her soaking wet hair flipped over one shoulder while she walked around the row of lockers past the showers looking for whomever it was that was there. When no one answered her, her heart began to pound knowing someone was in the misty room with her. "Hello?" She called out again and in that instant felt the arm go around her neck from behind and eyes flashed up into the fog-covered wall of mirrors to see her attacker while he choked her.

She tried to scream while frantically grabbing at his arm with her one free arm as he had the other twisted behind her back.

"Shhh, don't scream, Tsarevicha," The voice in her ear crooned in Russian while he lifted her from the ground and pressed her into the wall of glass, knowing her counter-moves before she attempted them and used his legs to keep hers' pinned and separated so that she couldn't use them against him. "I'm not going to hurt you if you don't fight me." He smiled kissing her neck and Lena's eyes burned with tears of fear and fury, still fighting him while she felt his hand slid under her towel pawing at her naked wet flesh.

"Fuck you!" She gasped and he laughed rubbing himself into her from behind pushing his shorts down. Somewhere in her mind she knew his voice and when his face flashed up from her neck she saw his reflection in the mirror she was pressed against and knew why he was able to stop her counter-attack, he was the Russian competitor in Judo, her own teammate.

"No, Your Highness…fuck you." He smiled kissing her ear while he still choked her and slid his hand down her front, "My God, you're beautiful…I've never seen someone so beautiful…watching you shower." He groaned thrusting against her and Lena whimpered with new tears feeling his naked member pressing against her flesh from behind while fought harder. He pulled her away from the glass with hand fisting into her hair from the arm around her neck and let her towel fall, smiling at her reflection in the mirror with him behind her.

"Don't fight me, Lena…I know its been a while for you…almost four years since he died," He spoke disgustingly soft into her ear while the tears coursed down her cheeks, "I know you must be burning with desire and passion after so long without any…let me help you…give you that release." He started to kiss down her neck, "I'm not going to hurt you…I'm going to help you." He whispered positioning himself to enter her from behind and Lena's heart felt like it would explode and she knew she didn't have many options and did the only thing she could think of to stop him and give her a chance to get away. In the flash of a second she threw her head forward into the mirrored wall as hard as she could and sent the reflective glass crashing to the floor trying to scream when his arm released a little jumping back from the falling wall with wide eyes seeing the blood running down her forehead onto her face.

He was walking past the women's locker room headed out into the main hall from the men's room when he heard the glass shatter to the floor and then a strangled scream. Without thinking he dropped his bag and flew through the door stopping dead in his tracks momentarily to see the naked woman fighting against the man with his pants around his knees and the glittering glass all over the floor, the blood running down her face and he flew forward realizing what was happening.

Lena at the same time had been able to get her arm free and kicked her leg back as hard as she could into her attackers shin causing him to hunch slightly and curse. She wheeled around on him with blinding fury having not seen such since Nadia had been attacked and let loose on the man with wild kicks and punches. She didn't notice the second man enter to help her and missed him punching the man in the kidney and ripping him away from her trying to protect her in her mindset and when her would-be savior turned back towards her in the next instant her body was still spinning around and caught him in the face with the back of her elbow.

_"Ah fuck!"_ He screamed loudly with blood instantly gushing from his nose as she stumbled backwards and it was then, that Lena seemed to notice that he wasn't the one that attacked her, that there were two, "I don't want to hurt you…I was trying to help you." He groaned with the blood running from his nose and tears blurring his vision. His eyes flashed over the moment Lena stilled and held out her towel to her, realizing she was naked.

Lena was stunned and in shock at all that just happened looking at the groaning man on the floor and then the one hunched over bleeding beside her and handing her a towel.

She took the towel and quickly covered herself the second before Max came running in having heard the man's loud scream.

"Tsarevicha?" Rage went flying through him the second he saw Lena wet from the shower, the blood running down her face and the two bleeding men beside her, one who was not looking over at her with wide-eyes to hear her addressed as such, and he attacked with fist flying.

Lena screamed "_No!_" just as Max's fist collided with the blonde man's face sending him flying. "He was trying to help me, Max!" She tried to keep her towel up and covering her while her fingers softly and trembling hovered over the man rolling over on the ground groaning in pain with the new explosion to her face. "He was the one who attacked me, Max!" She pointed to the man with his pants still half off his body and bleeding from his face while holding his side and crotch from where she got in a good kick.

Max grabbed him roughly from the ground and called for back up and medical assistance while Lena tried to apologize.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hit you…I'm sorry." She spoke quietly with blood running into her eye from the glass cut on her forehead. "Arman?" She asked breathless when he rolled over and she saw his face underneath all the blood and remembered meeting him in the elevator four years ago in Moscow.

"It's alright…Your Highness," He gasped with tears running from his eyes mixing with the blood in clear pain and unable to stop the grimace while rolling over and trying to stand, "Are you okay?" He asked trying to focus on her, "He didn't hurt you?"

"No…" She answered in a whisper with tears in her eyes realizing how lucky she was with eyes flashing over to the man Max was keeping away from her with gun trained on him while he was propped up against the locker. The rest of her detail came flying in moments later along with an Olympic doctor.

"Your Highness, are you alright? Did he hurt you?" The doctor asked with great concern while she took a seat on the bench so he could look into her eyes with a light and check her head wound while Arman sat on the bench next to hers' trying to stem the blood flow from his nose and mouth with a towel.

"What the-?" Jack, Irina, Nicholas and Isabella whom were waiting outside for her flew through the door seconds after that having heard there was an incident and black rage immediately swallowed Jack and Nicholas seeing the bleeding man on the bench, the broken mirror and his daughter mostly naked and bleeding from the head. _"You son-of-a-bitch!_" Jack charged forth with Nicholas unable to see the real attacker behind the lockers and both threw simultaneous punches at Arman while Lena screamed 'no' again watching her father and brother sending Arman flying backwards off the bench.

_"No!"_ She screamed through her tears jumping up and immediately going to his side while Jack and Nicholas looked on confused as to why she was helping her attacker who was now unconscious on the floor, "Not him! _Him!_" She pointed to the man behind the locker and their gazes followed her finger instantly seeing the other man. "He helped me!" She cried again softly turning back to Arman who was covered in blood with new splits on his cheeks from her families attack on top of her own and Max's. "Mama, it's Arman!" Lena's eyes flashed up her mother's while Jack and Nicholas took in the real attacker, realizing it was a fellow Russian teammate.

"Oh no…" Irina was at Arman's side with Lena and Isabella in an instant feeling terrible the poor young man had been attacked by her unknowing son and husband.

"I hit him! Max hit him! And now Daddy and Nicolai hit him! All because he was trying to help me!" Lena felt horrible trying to wipe the blood from his face with her own bloody fingers while the doctor knelt down and tried to address her wounds, "No, help him first, please!" She instructed the doctor more concerned with the unconscious man on the floor then herself.

When Arman came to some time later, he was sitting up against the wall in the locker room with Irina smiling at him as his vision came into focus. Her fingers were gently holding an ice pack to his face, "Are you okay?" She asked softly and he blinked hard as if he were seeing things to see his Imperial Tsar in his vision. When she asked the question again and he saw Lena talking to the police behind her, he nodded 'yes' remembering what had transpired.

"Is she okay?" He asked in a thick voice and then winced feeling his face in pain.

Irina smiled at his concern for Lena, "Yes, she's okay…you got to her just in time."

"I think she was handling it just fine…before I got here, Your Majesty." He smiled softly and then winced, "She has a mean elbow."

"Thank you, Arman…I'm sorry they all hit you." Irina apologized seeing the beautiful young man's face now bruising and split, "Keep the ice on it," She moved her hand back up to hold the ice packs against his face when he let them drop, "It will keep your face from swelling." She smiled softly.

"I'm sorry for hitting you, Man." Nicholas knelt down extending his hand to Arman to help him up with a soft apologetic smile, "I thought you were the one who'd hurt my sister."

"I understand…its okay." Arman nodded at him slightly accepting the apology and understanding. "Oh no…" He groaned trying to see the clock across the room through his still fuzzy vision, "I was supposed to meet my mother for dinner twenty minutes ago…" He moved to get his stuff and noticed for the first time that his face was no longer bleeding and he'd been cleaned up and his cuts closed with butterfly sutures and gauze pads. "Oh shit…shoot!" He groaned switching with apologetic eyes after noticing his blood stained shirt and then the Tsar standing beside him. "I've got to go…it's her birthday and I'm late."

"Wait, young man, we need a statement!" The police officer called after him seeing Arman ripping open his bag and peeling off his shirt to change.

Lena had stopped in her statement to watch what was going on and swallowed hard taking notice of his sculpted physique and felt something she hadn't in a long time swirl through her... desire. The thought immediately brought tears to her eyes and she quickly looked away.

"I was walking past the door. I heard the sound of loud glass shattering and then a strangled scream. I lunged through the door and saw him," Arman pointed with his head and disgust in his eyes at the attacker now in hand-cuffs, "Holding her…Lena, the Tsarevicha," He stumbled over what to call her while avoiding her gaze as images of her naked form swirled through his mind and he scolded himself internally for thinking about such at a time like this, "From behind with an arm around her neck. She was trying to fight him off. She was hitting him, I was hitting him…I pulled him off her and she was still in the fighting mode and I made the mistake of being too close. She hit me and then her bodyguard hit me and then her father and brother hit me. That's it. If you need to ask me anything else," He pulled his shirt on, "I'll be around but I need to go now…my Mama is waiting and I can't let her down. She wants to take me to celebrate her birthday and my win…Your Highness," His eyes flashed nervously to Lena's across the room, "I'm truly happy that you're okay." He nodded sincerely and then his dark eyes flashed to his teammates, "And you disgust me. I hope you rot in jail…you're lucky she hit me before I rendered you disabled." He picked up his bag quickly, "Goodnight everyone… Your Majesty." He addressed them all and Irina singularly as the Tsar and then nodded at the police before leaving in a rush.

They had his information and knew how to reach him if need be. Lena had cleared him of any wrongdoing and when they were finished, word had spread like wildfire around the Olympics and world of the man who tried to attack her, and the other anonymous hero who'd come to her rescue and then casually disappeared.

Lena sat on the end of her bed that night, watching the news footage of herself 'leaving the locker room stadium and the massive swarms of press and then to that of Arman and his mother, Tanya, trying to leave the restaurant in Santa Monica after being swarmed themselves. His face was marred with several good sized bruises and little strips of gauze and tape though his handsome good looks were thoroughly commented on repeatedly by the news caster having also been, on of the '_Reason's to Watch the Olympics_.'

Lena felt guilty that his' celebratory dinner with his mother for her birthday and his win was interrupted by the press following them everywhere after being roped into her mess. He was supposed to be running in the men's marathon in the morning and should finish just as she started her final round with Ria for the Gold and Silver medals in Judo. She wished she had a chance to speak to him after he regained consciousness, to thank him for stepping into help her and to apologize once again for hitting him and that of her family.

After debating with herself about what to do for an hour, she finally threw on a light summer dress in the dark, gave herself a once over and scolded herself for doing so and headed towards the room number she knew he was staying in from the police report to thank him, she told herself even as the images of him shirtless drifted through her mind. He'd come to her rescue, had the crap beaten out of him and wanted nothing in return. She could at least say thank you she thought knocking nervously on the door and putting her hair behind her ears.

Max stood down the hall a few feet away in extreme protective mode along with another bodyguard now pulling double duty after the attack though Lena seemed more calm about it then the rest of them. Irina had wanted to stay with her that night in her room even but Lena insisted she was okay and that she wasn't going to let some 'bastardass' get to her.

When Arman opened the door, shirtless and wearing baggy jeans slung low on his hips, Lena couldn't remember what she was going to say only frozen in the moment staring at him and he her, just as surprised to find her there. The loud music blaring from his room drifted into the hallway.

**_*Over Again*_**

"Um…I…a…I um…" Lena struggled to talk greatly unnerved suddenly and forced herself to look him in the eye though that was worse and she quickly looked at the floor and then the spot behind him. "Never got to say Thank you…I didn't mean to disturb you, I just wanted to say 'thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Your Highness." Arman shifted uncomfortably seeing her discomfort and not really knowing what to do with the gorgeous Tsarevicha before him now. His eyes kept traveling from the slight bandage on her forehead, down her face and neck and her smooth tanned shoulders and then forced himself to look at her. "I'm just very happy that the creep wasn't able to hurt you any further…is your head okay?" He asked with a slight wince reaching out on instinct to touch her face and then quickly pulled it back when he realized what he was doing and saw her two very large bodyguards in the hallway, one of whom he still felt his fist keenly on the side of his face.

"Yes…my head is fine. I have headache from hell but that's what I get from slamming my head into a wall I suppose." She smiled softly speaking just as soft.

"You slammed your own head into the wall?" Arman's eyes widened, having thought until now that it was their teammate who had slammed her into the wall breaking the mirror.

"It was the only thing I could think of in that moment…cause a distraction enough to free my arm from his grasp." She added softly shifting on her feet and putting her hair behind her ear once more when it fell. "I'm sorry I hit you." Her eyes flashed up to his and held with remorse and something else she wasn't sure having never felt this sort of 'something' going through her before.

"You don't have to apologize…really, Your Highness." He gave her a soft smile and then winced with the pain it brought, "Would you like to come in for a drink? I know all about the headache you're talking about." He held up the small glass of clear vodka in his hand behind the door. "Or not," He suddenly amended himself looking flustered realizing whom he was speaking to, not just some woman and had no idea what he was doing, "I'm sorry if asking you in for a drink was out of line." He apologized setting down his drink on the table beside the door and quickly turned grabbing a t-shirt from the back of the chair near him and pulling it quickly over his head realizing he was standing partly naked before the future Tsar of his country. "I apologize."

"Only apologize if you're revoking the offer…" She answered him quietly with a hint of a smile and something dangerous in her eyes while internally cursing herself. _'What in the hell are you doing? Walk away! Walk away!'_ She was screaming at herself inside.

"You want to come in? Would you like to come in? Your Highness?" He asked swallowing hard with widened eyes and stepped back looking nervously at the two bodyguards.

"Yes, I'll have a drink with you…the man who came to my rescue." She smiled softly at him and then nodded at Max saying it was okay with her if she went inside and then stepped through the doorway while Arman held his breath and then swallowed hard again with Max glaring at him while he closed the door.

_'Oh, what are you doing? Why are you here?'_ Her brain screamed at her while her body answered back, _'You know why you're here!' _And her internal war started, _'You don't want to be here!' 'Yes, you do!' 'You don't want to do this!' 'Yes, you do!' 'You saw the way he was looking at you!' 'Yes, you did and he saw the way you were looking at him!'_ She closed her eyes with back to him feeling him walk past her towards the counter to pour her a glass and felt the hair on her neck stand up at the contact and the intoxicating scent of his cologne.

"Sorry, I don't have better glassware." He gave her a sheepish smile handing her the small plain looking tumbler that was issued with each athlete's apartment. His nervousness at being near her was rolling off him in waves that were matching the intensity and heat between them, each trying to stay away from each other but finding themselves drifting closer and closer.

"It's fine…serves its purpose." Lena downed her glass of vodka in one drink and his eyes widened following rapidly doing the same. Their eyes locked for a long moment with her chest heaving and his both fighting the same internal war in the span of seconds and his eyes drifted to her lips unconsciously licking his own in the process.

Lena's heart thundered in her ears watching his eyes go to her lips and she licked her own seconds before lunging at him and searing her mouth to his in a frenzy while both dropped their glasses onto the floor causing them to shatter though it was drown out by the loud music and the sounds of their hearts in their head.

Arman didn't respond at first, afraid to touch her or react but when he opened his mouth slightly wider and felt her tongue pass his lips he groaned and his hands moved to her waist with the same frenzy of igniting heat. Lena's hands were clawing at his t-shirt that he'd only just put on eager to touch the skin beneath and broke their kiss apart only for a heated moment with eyes locking to tear it away and confirm what they were both doing. She hesitated only a second before her mouth found his again and hands were smoothing down his taut abs towards his belt, needing one thing and one thing only.

The passion she thought dead suddenly filled her so completely she thought she would explode without release and whimpered softly feeling his tongue hungrily yet gently while his hands slid the thin dress straps off her shoulders, pushing it down and revealing her naked breasts to his touch. She groaned in time with him when he backed her up against the wall with a hard thud and his palms and thumbs grazed over her tips becoming erect under his touch and body quivered with anticipation of a need too long denied.

Neither said anything only responded to each other with sounds and touch, their' bodies unfamiliar territory to each other but instinctively knew what the other was asking for. His hands slid her dress passed her hips until it fell to the floor while his mouth moved down her neck and across the front of her chest, his mouth searing over one nipple making her gasp and throw her head back with eyes closed at the sensation and then paying homage to the other before his thumbs hooked into the strings of her thong and slid it down past her hips to let it join her dress.

She had freed his own belt and pants button and he used his feet to push down the legs of his pants and pull them off while her hands worked to push his boxers down the same path setting free his rapidly growing desire. When her fingers first grazed over him he gasped against her throat and responded by gently sliding his fingers through her center finding her already wet with desire making them both groan with their eyes closed, neither willing to look in the eyes of the other. She spread her legs further at his fingers prompting while her hand tangled in the hair at the back of his neck and inhaled a long exaggerated breath with quivering limbs feeling first one and then two of his long fingers slid slowly into her tight core.

Her grip on his manhood increased in pressure with the fire stoked inside her and pumped his impressive length with the same slow pressure breathing into his neck. His mouth moved and seared to hers' once more with one hand moving up to tangle in her own hair around her neck pressing his body into hers' and then lifting her rapidly against the wall for support with the other hand he slipped out of her sweltering heat, unable to stand not being buried inside her any longer thinking only of the moment as that was all either of them would allow. Later they could hate themselves but right now it felt too good.

She rolled her pelvis into his signaling she wanted the same thing and he obliged, aligning himself with her center, their fingers of one hand locked and threaded beside her head against the wall with straining white knuckles while she looped her other leg around his waist and he thrust up, hard and quick stealing both their breath away. They stilled for only a moment while her rapidly pulsating muscles adjusted to the large invader which only grew wrapped in her heat and then pulled out quickly to thrust back in.

If either had their eyes open and not buried in the other's necks they would see the tears streaming down both their faces while they worked towards release. Her body was screaming at her with pent up tension on the verge of washing over her, gripping tightly against his solid shaft trying to keep him inside and making them both moan in pleasure with the friction of the grab and release game they were playing at insane levels.

Beads of sweat formed on their skin while he pumped manically into her feeling her about to explode and wanting to push her over, he felt her body jump and quiver and mouth seared over hers tasting the salty tears each thought was their own just before she exploded around him with a violent series of tremors that left her screaming and crying in gasping sobs with a wash of emotions all at once.

With her body still rocking and trembling in his arms he spun them around with his hips still rolling of their own accord into her pulsating core and flopped them down onto his bed, crawling over her and straddling her while thrusting up hard once more making her gasp and pant with his frantic movements knowing he was not far from the edge either. Lena used her leg tangled in the back of his knee and her arm and swept his support out from under him, rolling him over and mounting him breaking their connection and making them both hiss at the loss.

Her blurry eyes only caught his once grasping his hands and planting her knees on either side of him before thrusting her hips up and back and impaling herself onto him so deeply his abs contracted lifting him slightly forward off the mattress with a stolen breath and gasp and a strangled cry escape the back of her throat. Hard and fast became the order of the day as when he planted his feet and she released his hands that went immediately to her hips to aid in her lifting and thrusting while he used his ass and thighs to find her frantically insane rhythm.

Her palms were planted on his hard pecks and slid forward with dragging claws off his slick body no matter how hard she tried to hold on feeling her body about to implode once more with both of them panting wildly with small cries of pain and pleasure and planted again into the comforter on the bed, arching over him with hair tossed off to one side looking down the space between their bodies with her head hung and tears falling to see the area where their bodies were connected.

Arman's head was the same and soon their foreheads were against each other's with neither wanting to look at the other only watching their frantic connection and then succumbing to the blackness that washed over them both as he erupted inside her explosively with a strangled cry of 'Oh God…' and pulling her with him.

Their bodies continuing to exploit each other's until they were both spent and she collapsed onto him, lying for a second with her ear pressed over his smooth sweaty chest feeling his thundering heart while tears rolled over the bridge of her nose onto his skin.

Arman's hand hovered over her back as he looked at the top of her head lying on his chest, feeling her light, weight draped over his exhausted body knowing hers' was too and then hesitantly placed it just over her side, feeling her ribs through the rapid rising and falling of her chest on his.

His hand gently against her body spurred her movements and she quickly rolled off of him and away. She pulled her legs up beside her as she sat up and in that instant saw the framed photographs beside his bed.

One of a beautiful brunette girl with big blue eyes and smiling and the other of the two of them in a loving pose with the girl kissing his cheek and laughing draped over him from behind. The knowledge that he had a girlfriend only added to the tsunami of guilt washing over her and she inhaled a sob covering her face with her hands for a moment before shaking her head slightly when she felt his fingers flutter across the small of her back.

"Lena…" He whispered in a sated voice thick with emotion and exhaustion as his own guilt flooded through him and closed his eyes sighing loudly scrubbing his hand over his face when he touched her and she instantly flew off the bed without looking at him.

He didn't chase her only laid there silently for a moment before sitting up watching her throwing her clothes back on with tears raining down her cheeks and feeling like he'd been punched in the gut repeatedly at seeing her crying and knowing he was the cause. "Wait…" he called out quietly getting up from the bed just as she finished pulling the last strap on and grabbed for his own jeans. "Just wait…" He begged when she wouldn't look at him.

"This was a mistake." Lena shook her head with a sob unable to look at him and bolted for the door closing it rapidly behind her and cutting him off. She quickly stood up right, tucking her hair behind her ears giving a teary-eyed smile to Max at a glance and then bolted past even him as she moved back towards the elevators to get to her room.

_"Damn it!"_ Arman swore throwing the bottle of vodka against the wall in the kitchen shattering it and then sinking to the floor beside the bed sobbing with his own head in his hands.

Both of them hated themselves for wanting it, needing it and enjoying it…something that felt so wrong and so right all at the same time in being one with each other. The feelings of being unworthy and guilt for cheating on the ones they loved caused them both to cry themselves to sleep in regret and self-loathing and yet, unable to stop thinking about the other at the same time. The way they tasted, their skin felt against their own, bodies felt inside and around each other.

* * *

**_*Thunderstruck*_**

Lena couldn't bare to watch and bare not to, in the morning when the Men's Marathon began and another wave of guilt washed over her at seeing Arman, finding herself still wanting him and sobbing inside like she was cheating on Antony and knowing Arman had a girlfriend and then, seeing the gorgeous man have to withdraw from the race on mile seventeen, unable to run anymore with blood pouring from his broken nose and spitting it out of his mouth, unable to breathe.

The damage the punches had done to his breathing passages were reopened under the stress of running such a distance and when he could go no further, pulled off to the side and had to admit defeat, withdrawing from the event he was favored to win. That he had to give up something he'd trained for and dreamed about for four years because he'd tried to help her sent a wave of tears through Lena as she watched him accept the towel to stem the blood flow while everyone clapped for him. She couldn't stand to watch anymore so conflicted in emotions and took off.

When the afternoon came, and with it, the Finals for the Judo match, Lena was boiling over with internal rage at herself, for being weak with Arman, for his having to drop out of his event because of her, at the man who had tried to assault her, at Arman for cheating on his girlfriend with her and at herself once again feeling like she had cheated on Antony.

It became quite clear with in the first few seconds of their match that Lena wasn't going to be holding anything back in her mind frame in attacking her niece in the Gold Medal Match and when her foot connected solidly against the side of Ria's face drawing blood from her niece's nose they all held their breath.

"Don't hold anything back." Lena gave a slanted eyebrow at her niece, "Come at me with all you've got." She instructed her seeing she was hesitant about battling with Lena in this way.

And with Lena's permission, Ria struck back with a spinning kick cracking Lena in the side hard and making them all wince as the battle was on.

"If you want the Gold…you've got to get through me." Lena spoke quietly just to Ria before she grabbed her and flung her to the mat in a brutal match that had their family cringing, crying and holding their breath wanting it to be over.

Arman and his mother walked in just after the match started with the arena roaring with cheers seeing the two Grand Duchesses of Russia beating the shit out of each other for the Gold and his eyes widened seeing neither of them holding back. His mother tugged on his arm pulling them over by Irina who had taken her eyes from her daughter and granddaughter for just a moment to wave them over and then gasped and cringed watching Ria flip Lena over her back and smack her onto the mat.

Lena retaliated able to throw her legs up around her niece and pulled her down in a chokehold between her legs, literally choking her as was allowed by the rules.

"Lena, let her up! Let her up!" Irina chanted seeing the dark empty gaze of rage in her daughter's eyes while she choked out her granddaughter who was flailing about and then gasped in relief when Ria scissor kicked Lena releasing her grip and then came charging forth grabbing her arm and flipping her instantly with a pent up rage of her own at being choked and they all cringed hearing the crack and Lena's scream.

"Oh holy jeezus…" Kendall gasped scrubbing his hand over his face knowing Lena's arm had just been broken by her' niece.

Ria was momentarily stunned that she had broken Lena's arm and missed the wash of rage and retaliation that flooded over Lena's face while she held her broken limb to her body and bounce stepped spinning around kicking Ria across the side of her face with one foot, swiping her legs out from under her with the other in the corkscrew kick and then grabbing her arm twisting it violently on the way down until and another crack rang out with everyone gasping and Lena ending up on top of her.

The judge instantly declared her the winner with Lena huffing and puffing sitting over Ria as the rage dissipated and reality came back to her and the person beneath her and tears started coursing down her cheeks as she quickly hopped off her niece. "Are you okay?" She asked leaning down with face close to Ria's while the arena thundered with cheering. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I broke yours' first. I couldn't beat you." Ria cried while Lena tried to help her up, each girl holding the opposite arm close to their body having broken each other's limbs.

"_Good God!_ They just broke each other's arms!" Jack gasped in horror to see them both crying, holding their unbroken hands and bowing together before the referee raised Lena's hand as the winner.

"Did you see the look in Lena's eyes?" Sydney asked her mother and caught Arman's attention; "Somehow I think Ria felt the wrath of Lena's anger towards the man who attacked her yesterday."

"I was just thinking the same thing." Irina answered softly wiping at her tears, proud that her daughter and grandchild had gone at each other with all that they had, both honestly putting forth their best efforts for the medal though heartbroken it had to be against each other.

Each of them wore a cast to their shoulders and a sling standing on the podium receiving their Gold and Silver medals respectively.

* * *

_***Say All I Need***_

_"They're what?"_ Lena asked in a gasp of terror on the way to their home in LA, eating dinner with her parents and the family at their house this evening before returning to the Olympic village.

"I've asked Tanya and Arman to join us for dinner." Irina turned around slightly in the passenger seat of the SUV to look at Lena with a curious smile, "I want to thank him again for what he did for you. He lost his chance at the Gold medal in the marathon. I think my cooking him dinner is the least I can do to thank him. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lena quickly looked away and willed her tears to stay in her eyes and back, "Is his girlfriend coming, too?" She asked trying to keep the anger and sarcasm from her voice.

"No." Irina answered softly putting her hair behind her ear and staring intently at Lena knowing she was missing something, "He doesn't have a girlfriend."

Lena's eyes snapped back to her mothers.

"I went to thank him last night for what he did... In his room, I saw her picture…the two of them together. He has a girlfriend, Mama."

Irina was frozen a moment when she saw the look of _jealousy_… and hurt pass in front of Lena's eyes and her breath caught when she realized she certainly did miss something. She had been completely caught off guard at seeing emotions like those in Lena and quickly had to snap herself out of it.

"No, Lena…he doesn't." She shook her head sadly with tears forming in her eyes knowing her daughter wasn't going to react well to this news either knowing it would cause her mind to go to other places, "His girlfriend Angelina…was killed in a car accident a couple of years ago. Tanya told me he hasn't dated anyone since."

Lena's gasp was audible while the air had been sucked out of her lungs and Jack's eyes flashed to the rearview mirror to watch as her eyes instantly flooded with tears while her face drained of color. She had pictures of Antony in her room at the village too.

"He never said anything…" Her voice trailed off as images of Antony and the accident flew through her mind.

"She said he doesn't like talking about it. I'm sure you of all people can understand." Irina reached behind her with a tear falling from her eye as she spoke in almost a whisper tucking Lena's hair behind her ear. "If you're not feeling up to it, I can call Tanya and ask for a rain check…" She knew there was something else…something more but didn't know what, only that her daughter seemed to crawl out of her skin at the idea of being near Arman Reznikov. "I'm sure they'll understand considering all that has happened in the last couple of days and after the final tonight-"

"No…don't do that. I'm okay." Lena shook her head softly and reached for the door handle when Jack pulled into the drive-way and stopped, "I think I'm just going to lay down awhile…I'm tired." She adjusted the sling on her shoulder and Irina nodded at her, slowly getting out of the car behind her with eyes flashing to Jack, both knew something more was going on then Lena was saying.

She went straight up to her room and laid down, crying softly into her pillow for Antony and her baby, and for Arman and Angelina…having never met the girl but grieving her loss for Arman knowing how badly it hurt to lose the one you loved. Somewhere in her thinking of what had happened the night before between them, she realized his actions and feelings were her own. They both' needed it, wanted it and each other and lamented the loss of another taking comfort in each other.


	68. Chapter 68

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Drive **_**by Ziggy Marley,**_** Stay **_**by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko**_**, One More Night **_**by Maroon 5,**_** Secrets **_**by One Republic**_**, Camelot Lives **_**by Jerry Goldsmith from First Knight Soundtrack,**_** Chasing Cars **_**by Snow Patrol.**

* * *

SIXTY-EIGHT

o

Irina watched Arman with analyzing eyes the moment he walked through the door with his mother, bringing a bottle of wine and noticed his uneasiness as he looked around, the same look that he wanted to crawl out of skin and the shift in his eyes when she told them Lena was upstairs laying down resting after the eventful day. He bit nervously on his lip with hands behind his back as he looked over the photos on the table full of them and saw his flash of a smile when his eyes landed on Lena's and then, the wave of sadness and watched him swallow hard when he saw the ones of Lena with Antony, from the time they were children, all the way up until the night he died from her birthday.

Lena walked quietly down the hallway with her breath catching looking over the railing and seeing his back while he looked over the photographs and heard her parents chatter while Nicholas and Isabella struck up a conversation with Arman.

"Lena," Nadia called out to her gaining her attention and everyone's in the room, "Would you mind holding Elektra for a moment while I run upstairs and change my clothes quick?" She asked her sister with a smile, passing the tiny baby to Lena who nodded with eyes flashing between Arman and the baby now in her arms. She kissed Elektra's sweet little neck and smoothed her hand over her tiny head while walking slowly towards Arman, her brother and Isabella while Nadia ran off.

"Hello." Arman greeted her with a soft voice slightly broken with emotion looking at her with the baby and remembering the sadness that washed over Russia when they found out she had lost her own. Her baby and his father and understood her tears last night all too well. "Congratulations on your win today." He spoke just as quietly and the others' in the room watched the interaction with fascination taking note of the energy change the moment they were facing each other.

"Thank you." Lena whispered in response diverting her eyes and shifting the baby on her shoulder, pressing her cheek against Elektra's head, "I'm sorry that you had to withdraw from the marathon. I feel awful about that…about what happened." She added with eyes flashing up and he knew the last part was in reference to last night and his heart clenched.

"Don't be sorry for me. I'm only sorry that you were hurt." He answered speaking in the same hidden meanings that only they understood though the others picked up on something they were obviously missing. "She's beautiful." He smiled softly reaching out to touch Elektra's tiny hand.

"Yes, she is." Lena kissed her sweet little head with a soft smile, "My sister is amazing at everything she does."

That was the most they said to each other all evening sitting across from each other at dinner and turning away with stolen glances while Jack and Irina watched them both with fascination and their silences spoke volumes while the energy between them crackled. When Tanya offered to take Lena back to the Olympic Village already taking Arman back, both Lena and Arman's eyes widened and looked like they wanted to turn inside out though Lena politely accepted. Even if Max was going to be returning there with her security team, she could hardly say 'no' to Tanya's kind offer. Kissing her family goodnight before following them out to the car, she nodded at Max who jumped into the security car to follow them.

_***Drive***_

Lena was silent almost the entire way back to their rooms answering Tanya's questions softly and then bidding her goodnight when they both stepped out of the car.

"Did you get the feeling something happened between those two?" Irina asked Jack quietly while they got ready for bed, not even having to specify the who to Jack and he knew whom she was talking about.

"Yes…" Jack answered quietly, "Though I can't tell you what…"

"Maybe…its that they are both drawn to each other…as I'm sure you felt that electricity between them too…and they're both afraid of it having lost the ones they loved so dearly…they're scared to move on…scared to feel that jolt with someone else." Irina thought aloud quietly with tears in her eyes crawling into bed.

Arman stepped into the elevator with Lena and her two bodyguards and an uncomfortable silence fell over the lot, with all persons in the small space knowing something happened between the two and each aware the others knew. "Can I speak with you a moment, Your Highness?" Arman finally braved when the elevator doors opened realizing it was now or never to say something.

Lena nodded softly swallowing hard and followed him down the short hall to his room while Max and the other guard took post. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself the moment they were inside his room with eyes immediately falling upon the pictures of Angelina and Arman beside the bed, tears flooding her eyes. "I don't normally do that kind of thing…last night…I've never done that before." She spoke softly feeling like she had to explain.

"I know…neither have I." Arman turned around and took a step closer to her, reaching up he wiped her fallen tear with his thumb and pulled his arm back feeling like he'd been shocked, "I'm sorry…I never meant to hurt you. Last night…I'm sorry." He shook his head with tears forming in his eyes as he looked at the floor, "I just…with you…I can't explain it." His eyes flashed up to her blurry ones and held for an instant before both stepped rapidly forward and mouths sealed together. "Argh…" He pulled back shaking his head and sniffling with hands up, "We can't do this…I don't want to hurt you."

"Nor I you…" Lena cried but stepped closer with body on fire from the kiss and feeling her heart pounding in her chest wanting and needing to be close to him, "Let's just don't think…" She gasped in a whisper and then shook her head, "No…" She tried to talk herself out of it going for the door and felt his hand close around her upper arm, whirling her around and crashing his lips with hers' again, both moaning through their tears.

"Don't think…just feel." Arman held her face gently in his hands wiping her tears while his own fell and then peeled his shirt off over his head before starting to remove Lena's clothes at a rapidly increasing frenzied pace.

"I feel guilty for wanting you…" Lena cried through her gasp when he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"So do I…but I do want you." He returned with a breathless cry of his own quickly kissing her and plunging his tongue into her mouth carrying her over to his bed and laying her down once more. "I want you…" He repeated against her skin on her throat while his mouth worked its way down her body. His fingers slid between her legs making her gasp when they met with her fiery nerve bundles and mouth closed over her rigid brown peaks kissing her chest.

They rolled and changed positions frequently in their battle for control in the heat of passion with both exhausting the other as they had the night before and still feeling the wash of guilt and want mixing inside them. Lena snuck out when he fell asleep shortly after, completely spent and it was a month and a half before they saw each other again.

* * *

**_*Stay*_**

She had stayed in the United States through July and into August while he had returned to Russia with the closing of the games. Irina had casually dropped into the conversation one day that she had spoken to Tanya and learned that Arman had just accepted a job in the naval office in St. Petersburg having been stationed at sea before the Olympics, wanting to get away after Angelina died. Now, he was only a few minutes away and the moment Lena learned this information, it began to pull at her.

Night and day her thoughts began to swim with him and the conflicting images that tormented her of Arman and Antony and the constant tug of war between want and guilt. She had never said goodbye to him, told him it wouldn't work and thus convinced herself standing outside his apartment door in St. Petersburg that was why she was there. To tell him it was over and she was sorry for leaving the way she did but she just wasn't ready. She knew she'd see him in the morning at her attackers brief sentencing hearing, having admitted his guilt in attacking her at the Olympics and Lena didn't want that to be the first time she saw Arman since she snuck out of his room in Los Angeles.

She was about to knock on the door with her hand raised when it flew open and a startled Arman froze in position, clearly ready to leave and looking entirely handsome in his Naval officers uniform while she was in her own Air Force one.

"Hi." Lena spoke first and swallowed hard, "I can see you're just leaving, I won't keep you I just…"

"No. It's okay." He quickly spoke and stepped aside ushering her in silently.

"I just wanted to apologize for the way I left…I just can't do this…I'm not ready." She spoke softly shaking her head with tears coming to her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Arman nodded softly in turn, "I understand…its okay." He stepped forward, wiping her tears from her cheeks and the touch shot a bolt of electricity through them both again, holding her eyes and then darting to her lips where he leaned down and she met his mouth with a desperate need, hands going around the back of his neck with a fire burning inside her. Her passion had been awoken by him and had been deprived for over a month, the taste of him was threatening to overwhelm her again and the feel of his hands on her body, the way he was pressed against her she cried in frustration shaking her head and pushing him back.

"I can't." She shook her head walking towards the door, "I'm sorry."

"Lena…" He called out and grabbed her arm pulling her back against him while she cried.

"I want you…I do. I just…" She cried half-heartedly through her tears trying to peel herself out of his grasp and then more forcefully.

"Don't think…just feel." He whispered with a ragged breath pulling her back against him, "I won't let you go…not again." He felt his own hot tears running down his cheeks with hands frantically pulling her skirt up and undoing his pants with the desperate need for connection he knew they both felt on some level neither was willing to admit to, "Don't think…just feel." He kept repeating to her and himself caught in the same mixing emotions just knowing he couldn't stand the thought of not being with her now that he had been without her for over a month, had just felt her body melded with his again and tasted her kiss.

"Don't think…" He whispered kissing her neck and holding her back to him from behind and then thrust up into her stealing her breath in a cry of pleasure and pain that she wanted it and loathed it at the same time, as did he, "Just feel." He whispered with a groan and a soft cry pulling out and thrusting into her from behind again.

The hand that was holding her to him under her ribcage moved down and teased her center while her head flopped back against his shoulder with tears streaming down her face surrendering to him.

His mouth was kissing her neck and he bit her softly sending her over the edge with a mix of senses causing her to cry out and he rapidly pulled out and turned her in his arms, picking her up and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist while he kicked off his pants and shoes and walked them over to the support beam in his loft, bracing her against it and thrust back up into her heat.

His hand cupped her face with thumb wiping away tears while he drove into her, his eyes held fast to hers and both pairs shedding tears,

"This is enough…just you and me…this is enough." He repeated before kissing her soundly while his movements slowed into less then frantic. Lena's hands peeled his jacket off over his shoulders wanting to touch his naked skin while continuing to kiss him through her tears. Her fingers danced over his muscular shoulders and heated flesh marking the spot before her mouth did and she inhaled sharply when he turned them again and flopped down onto the couch, his hips stopping in their motion staying buried inside her while looking down at her.

Their eyes caught for a moment before he leaned down and kissed her with fingers working to undo the buttons of her shirt, wanting so badly to just rip them off and knowing he couldn't…shouldn't at least knowing she needed to wear it home eventually. Lena on the other hand, was too impatient to feel his hands on her skin and grabbed at the seams tearing it open and spraying the buttons everywhere. His eyes flashed with hers in surprise and a small smile skating his palms over her trembling sides and up her ribcage with thumbs grazing over her breasts behind their constricting fabric.

The small gasp that left her throat spurred on his movements once more when his fingers tugged down the cup of her bra and mouth closed over her protruding nipple, teeth teasing the pouting flesh and hand sliding under her hips pressing up against the small of her back changing their connected angle and allowing him to go deeper making them both groan and his movements speed up one more. His fingers pressing in the dip in her spine and his mouths' lingual assault combined with his deep thrusts brought her nerves back to high alert and breath coming in pants. Her thrusts were matching his and the grip of her internal muscles against his member quickly brought him to the edge in her sweltering heat.

With a hard thrust and cry into her neck he exploded inside her with body rocking pushing her over at the same time with a strangled cry and violent tremble. Her panting breath continuing to come in gasps while he pumped until spent and then collapsed on top of her with head on her chest and Lena's leg falling off the side of the couch equally exhausted.

His mind drifted in that second hearing her heart thundering in his ear for the first time and a ghost of a smile flashed across his face, "So that's…what it sounds like."

"What sounds like?" Lena asked equally out of breath and suddenly growing entirely uncomfortable with how comfortable she was with his weight still on her and his head on her chest.

"Your famous heart." Arman felt the same wash of uneasiness at finding himself completely comfortable atop her body with his nose next to her skin and inhaling her intoxicating scent and perfume. His head whipped up and back with a soft smile as he pulled away, "It sounds like a giant drum." He held out his hand to help her up and she accepted it after a second's hesitation.

"You should hear my mothers." Lena gave him a ghost of a smile pulling the button-less shirt back over her shoulders and fixing her bra strap.

"Well, somehow I doubt that my ear will ever be that close to the Tsar's chest to hear it." He laughed softly with a sudden shyness picking up his pants from the floor and stepping into them with his back turned.

Lena's eyes were raking over his sexy figure and looked away before he could see her watching him, straightening her own skirt.

"True." She commented softly on what he had said with another smile tugging at her lips and a flash of anger running through her at herself that she was so comfortable around him after what they'd just done. Her instincts to run and yet, wanting to stay at war with each other again. "But if you could…you'd hear the most unbelievable sound in your life…my mother's heartbeat." She smiled softly bending over slightly to retrieve his naval jacket from the floor. "It's like an industrial sized washing machine." She laughed softly.

"It'd have to be industrial sized to hold enough love to be the Mother of Russia." He gave her a small smile in turn, taking his jacket and letting their fingers brush addicted to her fiery touch.

"I should go…you were on your way out." Lena spoke suddenly with a mix of emotions flooding through her and stopped when he grabbed her arm again suddenly and kissed her softly with hand tangling into her hair, mesmerizing her lips with his.

"Stay. Please? I was on my way to have dinner with friends at the officer's club," He spoke with face close to hers' a resurgence in heat between them, "I'd rather have dinner with you." He choked on his own words with uncertainty about what he was doing, what he was feeling but unable to stop the draw to her.

"I don't know…" Lena wavered with shaking voice and tears building in her eyes at wanting to and not all at once. "I can't." She shook her head, kissing him quickly once more and tearing out of his arms towards the door, buttoning her own officer's jacket over her torn shirt to hide the missing buttons. She paused with hand on the door and turned back after flashing her eyes closed and open in a heartbeat, "I'll see you tomorrow…" She left it open ended meaning at the hearing and both knowing…hoping, after too and he nodded softly with the same mixed emotions.

Lena opened the door and Arman's gaze caught with Max whose eyes widened considerably seeing the young man standing in his apartment wearing only his pants and jacket hanging from his hand by his side. Max looked away almost as quickly regaining his composure at having confirmation to what he already suspected between the two after the hours she spent in his apartment during the Olympics. Without a word or look of any judgment he followed Lena out and home.

* * *

**_*One More Night *_**

A month passed with Lena and Arman at first spending stolen hours of the day and some during the night together every few days that then became every couple and finally every day in each other's company. Without preamble or hesitation the moment the door closed to his apartment their lips were locked and clothes were being torn off having mad, passionate sex with neither daring to speak of Antony or Angelina.

They spoke only of school, work and family as their friendship began to deepen in spite of how much they both fought the growing connection.

Lena would occasionally stay for a drink and a few times lunch or dinner but never sleeping through the night with him, always leaving after and never crossing the lines into making love or cuddling or holding each other after. Their heated affair only seemed to intensify every day and were beginning to get somewhat reckless after accidentally running into each other at the same restaurant while out with friends and ending up having rapid and wild sex in the bathroom where they were almost caught. Both seemed to enjoy that element of taboo and danger and ended up ditching their separate groups of friends early to meet at Arman's apartment to continue with their fun.

When he showed up at the dinner table one evening in the palace with his mother, Tanya, his eyes were as wide as Lena's when they sat down beside each other. Their mothers had arranged the dinner without alerting either of them until Arman was in the car on the way there and Lena heard the bell ring and watched him walk in.

Irina knew in her heart something was going on between the two especially after learning from a slip from Max that Lena had been to Arman's apartment on more then one occasion. Now was her chance to see the interaction again in person and read them and the situation. There was a definite change in Lena that had her smiling to herself when she thought no one was looking and at other times, in tears and clearly angry seemingly at herself.

Watching the two sitting beside each other now, was very telling in their avoidance of each other, especially trying not to even touch with brushing arms. She cleverly asked questions to them and all those at the table to force them to speak and as the dinner went on, and small laughter rang out, it was clear the tension between them was melting to one degree and heating up in another. When they both reached for the basket of rolls to pass Irina at the same time, their fingers touching, a jolt of electricity seemed to run through them both as they rapidly pulled their arms back dropping the basket and staring at each other before quickly looking away.

Irina had talked with Katya about her suspicions of the connection between the two and looking over at her sister now, Katya's eyes held the mischievous twinkle that she was definitely picking up on it too.

Arman couldn't take it anymore after touching her skin and the heat between them was about to undo him with the way her hand now 'accidentally' skimmed over his leg beneath the table repeatedly in a matter of minutes and he couldn't stop his own fingers from venturing over to her leg, first her knee and then sliding slowly up her bare skin pushing her skirt up as he went and feeling her shiver beneath his touch.

Her breathing beside him came rapid and she quickly took a sip of her wine trying to distract herself from where his hand was going and almost choked when his wrist bent his hand back and his long fingers slid suggestively over her thin and already wet panties over her center. Quickly, she pushed his hand away and pulled her skirt back down before standing rapidly.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment, I think I'll get us some more wine." She smiled softly using the excuse she came to first seeing the empty bottle before her.

"I can get, Your Highness," Dmitri smiled about to stand and unable to call his granddaughter, like her mother, anything but by her title out of his great respect for them.

"No Papa, its okay. I can get it. Stay and eat…I'll find a good one to go with dessert." She motioned him down and Tanya shared a smile with her son across the table at Dmitri's formal address of Lena, and her informal one of 'Papa' to him. The mixing of the Imperial and the practical making them both smile at the obvious love in the family.

"Lena, while you're up would you mind grabbing another burping cloth from the laundry room for Elektra?" Nadia smiled adjusting the baby against her shoulder who was drooling madly. "She's already soaked this one completely through with her drool." She smiled when the baby bounced on her little legs.

"You were the same way when you were teething." Irina smiled remembering those days and missing them terribly looking at her baby with her own baby and thinking about how quickly time had passed. "You also like to chew on my shirt-"

"And bite holes through them with your wicked little pointy teeth." Katya laughed softly remembering the holes in her clothes. "Lena was like a little gorilla always grabbing at my earrings and other shiny objects with her strong little grip while you were the biter with the sharks teeth." Her eyes flashed from Lena to Nadia with a smile.

"Well if its any consolation, she's got both the gorilla grip and the sharks teeth." Nadia smiled kissing her bobbing baby's head and then laughed with everyone when Elektra buzzed her lips blowing bubbles and then giggling at seeing them smile.

"Teething is never easy…Arman used to gnaw on cold pickles. Made the cutest little trail with his two bottom teeth when they came in." Tanya added with a radiant smile while he looked down with flushing cheeks of red with embarrassment when everyone 'awed' at how cute that was.

"I'll be back." Lena nodded to her sister with a smile and eyes flashing over to Arman with the images of babies and him as one flooded through her mind; her body still humming from his touch.

She was gone for a few minutes before Arman stood, "If you'll excuse me, Your Majesty…where might I find the restroom?" He asked Irina with a delicious smile.

"Go out this door, take a right and down the short hall. Its next to the kitchen and the laundry room." Irina responded with her own brilliant smile.

He set off down the hall and passed the laundry room, catching sight of Lena at the far end of the fairly sizable room with six industrial size washing machines and another six dryers, which wasn't surprising considering how many people, lived in such an enormous palace. He backtracked taking a step back with a smile seeing her standing before the one and only small regular sized washing machine that was apparently used for lighter loads. She was digging through a pile of freshly laundered baby clothes for the item her sister had asked her to pick up. The bottles of wine she'd found were already sitting on top of the metal washing machine beside her.

"So that's what your mother's heart sounds like?" He asked with a dangerous smile walking into the room and shutting the door behind him, listening to the industrial sized washing machine that had just started its spin cycle.

"What are you doing in here?" Lena asked with a gulp pausing and gripping the fabric tightly in her hands seeing him walking towards her and her heart began to pound with his smile.

"It's kind of hot in here, don't you think?" He asked feeling the heat from the dryers rolling around the room and then tugged at his neck tie with a smile stopping just before her, his face just inches from hers and then lifted his hand to tilt her chin up so her eyes were held with his. "You seemed pretty hot in the dinning room." He ground his rapidly growing hardness against her pelvis causing her to inhale sharply and send her lips crashing up to meet his in a wild frenzy.

"We have to make this fast." She whispered rapidly against him when he backed her up roughly against the wall with a thud and her fingers worked feverishly against his belt and pants. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming here tonight?"

"I didn't know until my mother sprung it on me in the car…" He breathed heavily against her mouth before it traveled down her neck and his hands slipped under her dress, hiking her skirt up and fingers sliding through her wetness making her moan in anticipation. "Are you angry I'm here?" He asked hoping she wasn't.

"No…" Lena gasped freeing his flaming shaft and grasping it roughly with thumb grazing over its head spreading his own anticipation, "I'm frustrated beyond belief…your tease under the table..." She teased him stroking him in variants of pressure and then sliding her hand between his leg with the other hand pressing up behind his balls and lifting him to his toes with a yelp and sharp inhale with cock twitching in her hand…"Almost undid me." She added with her own devilish smile having learned the secrets of his body some weeks ago and what drove him mad.

"You do that again… and you will undo me…" He gasped ravaging her neck with his mouth and sucking lightly against her pounding pulse plunging his fingers into her heat and lifting her to her toes in turn. "And I'd rather not…" He panted against her neck when her hand continued to caress him into oblivion and then slid his shaft down to rub against her wet folds and raging clit. "Oh fuck!" He groaned when his sensitive head came in contact with her hot, wet flesh. "My God…you're a tease." He laughed softly picking her up rapidly and setting her on the edge of the washer, ripping her panties down and off her legs before stepping in between.

"Just hurry up and fuck me before I get mad!" Lena seethed at him with dangerous eyes, highly turned on and yet pissed off at the same time that he'd actually done that to her at the dinner table with both of her parents just a few feet from her.

"Yes, Ma'am." He smiled and plunged his shaft into her taking her breath and his with the invasion and envelopment in her heat. "My God…you're fantastic." He panted against her neck feeling her incredible muscles inside grappling at him and making him' grow harder. He pulled out and rapidly thrust back in while she leaned back slightly to brace herself with hands against the sides of the top of the washer.

"Mmmm…faster." Lena spoke through clenched teeth already on the verge of exploding from the build up and foreplay she lifted her leg over his shoulder allowing him to hit deeper and at just the right angle to stroke her internal buds into flames. "Oh fuck…that feels amazing." She slammed her eyes shut as he slammed into her with bodies melding in tight perfect thrusts. His hands linked over the tops of hers as her arms began to quake and shiver with her impending explosion and his own with beads of sweat forming on his brow from the exertion and heat surrounding him.

"Ah God, Lena!" He groaned when her muscles refused to release against his member causing that much more pressure on his inflamed and engorged shaft with every thrust and reverse back into her tight core.

Nadia stopped dead in her tracks with hand on the door handle to the laundry room having come to help Lena wondering if she wasn't mistaken in thinking their would be more drool clothes for the baby. She heard Arman's groan over the hum of the washing machines and then in listening further in her wide-eyed stun, heard the small sounds of some very heated passion, taking place on the other side of the door.

Irina followed just behind her down the hall to get dessert and was about to ask Nadia what she was doing when Nadia spun around and clamped her hand over her mother's mouth and the other to the back of her head to Irina's surprise. Nadia with wide-eyes was furiously shaking her head 'no' just as more tell-tale sounds erupted from behind the door and Irina's eyes went extremely wide hearing them at the same time Nadia was mouthing, 'Lena and Arman' all the while her hand stay firmly clamped to her mother's mouth.

Within a moment after Irina's arrival and Nadia's release of her mother's mouth, Sydney came around the corner with narrowed eyebrows coming to help her mother and about to ask what they were doing when Irina spun and did the same to her, clamping her hand over Sydney's mouth with wide amused eyes shaking her head just as they heard a string of Russian curses and 'My God' in a growl in Lena's voice and Sydney's eyes almost popped out of her head while Nadia grabbed her mother's arm, who still held onto Sydney's mouth and head, and drug them into the kitchen.

"Well…okay," Irina breathed out a long breath pacing rapidly back and forth a few seconds before her wide-eyed daughters. Her instincts about the connection and electricity she saw between Lena and Arman were apparently correct and wondered if this was the first time…or not, she shook her head. "Sydney, you go get the wine and Nadia help me with the dessert and we'll all just go back in there and pretend we know nothing." She decided with a firm headshake with her heart delighted that Lena was apparently making major steps forward after years of heartache and being alone.

"Wow…" Sydney gasped still shaking her head and then inhaled sharply with all their heads whipping towards the doorway when they heard the strangled scream of climax from Lena no matter how much they had apparently tried to muffle it. Sydney's hands immediately started scrubbing over her eyes looking away while Nadia snorted with a pleased smile and Irina shook her head rapidly walking towards the refrigerator with widened eyes and then smile reaching for the tray of dessert that apparently, her daughter was enjoying her laundry room activities and how could she be mortified by it when it held such a positive note in the major strides in healing for Lena.

"I swear…the two of you, Mom," Sydney shook her head looking at Irina and then walking towards the pantry where the wine cooler was, "You're too alike for your own good."

"I seem to remember catching you a few times in the same position, Sweetheart." Irina teased her back with a smile while Nadia's head whipped back and forth with wide-eyed amusement. "Maybe not the laundry room but the beach…the library, the theatre, the stables-"

"_Okay, okay, okay!"_ Sydney cut her off with a blushing deep giggle turning away from her mother, "Enough! I'm too alike you at times for my own good too, apparently."

Irina responded with a deep giggle of her own while Sydney disappeared behind the pantry door.

"I knew something was going on with them." Nadia shook her head helping her mother retrieve plates for the dessert her voice was quiet with a hint of awe and slight sadness Lena never said anything to her.

"As did I." Irina looked at her with a slanted raised eyebrow and small smile catching her daughter's surprised and smiling eyes.

"Why wouldn't she say anything? Tell us when she tells us everything?" Nadia asked trying to keep the hurt from her voice.

"I don't know…but maybe, you and I," Irina began softly holding Nadia's eyes while continuing to gather the items, "Understand the 'why' better then anyone." She slanted her eyebrow again with clear intent and Nadia nodded softly swallowing hard, knowing what her mother was talking about. Both she and her mother had relationships with men based purely on sex and had kept that information to themselves until exposed; both were dealing with major issues emotionally and it made sense in that light, why Lena wouldn't reveal it either for the same reasons.

"Yes…" Nadia nodded softly while speaking in an almost whisper, "But I think there's a lot more going on between them then…" She waved her hand off in the general direction of the laundry room.

"So do I…but if this has been going on for longer then tonight…and they haven't said anything about seeing each other…then I doubt that they even recognize, or rather acknowledge the 'more' going on." Irina added just as quietly and Sydney reappeared just in time to hear the strangled muffled cry from Arman and then Lena again.

"Okay…we have to go now!" Sydney urged them with blushing cheeks not wanting to be near the kitchen when the two came out of the laundry room. _"Quickly!"_ She motioned trying not to laugh as did her mother and sister who followed rapidly behind her back to the dining room.

"Where is Lena?" Jack asked seeing Sydney carrying the wine into the dining room and mock nibbling with his mouth on Elektra's fingers that the baby kept trying to stick into his mouth with a smiling giggle.

"She's giving Arman a tour." Nadia answered with a raging smile and Sydney snorted rapidly reaching for a drink to cover her slip while her eyes flashed with her mother and then Nadia before taking her seat.

"Thank you." Lena gave a flash of a smile to Arman when he helped her from the washing machine after they put themselves back together. "We'd better get moving." She spoke nervously tucking her hair behind her ear and reaching up to wipe straighten his wild hair ruffled from her raking hands.

"Don't forget the drool thing for your niece." He smiled softly reaching over and handing her the cloth she had been holding onto earlier.

She smiled at him again nervously, pushing past him and he caught her arm again kissing her with hunger knowing it would be the last time to do so tonight and Lena responded with the same intensity before rapidly breaking it off feeling her fire rising again.

**_*Secrets*_**

Arman followed behind her with the wine bottles and both stopped frozen in the entrance to the dining room seeing dessert already being served and new bottles of wine flowing.

"How was your tour, Sweetheart?" Tanya asked innocently with a smile.

"What?" Arman asked with a choked voice and wide eyes while Nadia and Sydney tried their best to avoid looking at him and Lena while their faces flushed red with smiles.

"Nadia said Lena was giving you a tour…" Tanya nodded with a smile over to Nadia whose gaze finally looked up as she placed a piece of the cobbler on her plate and dark eyes flashed with a knowing smile to both her sister and Arman.

Lena's breath caught in horror when she looked at Nadia and then to Sydney beside her and her mother and all knew by the look in their eyes what she had actually been doing. An overwhelming feeling of guilt and sadness washed through her that they knew and she fought desperately to keep the tears at bay. All three women noticed the immediate change in Lena's face and the tears she was trying to fight off as she drained of color while Arman responded beside her.

"It was beautiful." He smiled softly with eyes flashing over to Lena and heart skipping a beat seeing her eyes flushing with tears.

"Here." Lena choked out handing her father the drool cloth, "If you'll excuse me…" She flashed her gaze away speaking in a whisper before flying out the door in a rapid walk, her hand going to her mouth to cover her cry she strangled while everyone's movements slowed considerably wondering what happened that she was leaving again.

Irina stood placing her napkin on the table and walking towards the doorway and Arman who was frozen in place staring at the space Lena had just rushed away from and grasped his arm lightly with a small smile and head nod telling him it was okay and she'd go find Lena.

"What happened?" Nicholas voiced with concern looking around the table and then up to Arman with slanted eyebrow.

"She's probably thinking about Antony," Nadia sighed heavily, covering for her sister with tears in her eyes and refusing to look at anyone, "This time of year…thinking about his birthday tomorrow." She had no doubt that her sisters suddenly guilty look at them knowing did in fact have everything to do with her thoughts about Antony.

Arman swallowed hard, having no idea that Antony's birthday was tomorrow as he and Lena never discussed the man or Angelina and he felt a flood of guilt that he'd hurt her in some way by being with her on this night, that some members of her family had found out what they were doing and didn't even understand themselves.

"She'll be okay." Nadia added softly looking up to Arman with a soft nod seeing the guilt in his face and knowing he had his own grief to deal with and understood Lena's.

"Oh bless her heart." Tanya spoke softly with eyes filling with tears knowing well the pain of losing the one you loved tragically. "Birthdays and holidays are always the most difficult." Her eyes flashed over to her son while he took his seat seeing the look on his face and thinking about his loss with Angelina, knowing he had the same heartbreak on those occasions.

"Lena…" Irina called out softly to her daughter having followed her outside into the chilly air and found her sitting on the bench in the garden.

Lena immediately started wiping at her tears but it was pointless when Irina sat down beside her and pulled her into her arms, she cried all over again holding on tightly with arms around her mother's waist.

"It's okay, Sweetheart…its' okay." Irina kissed her head with tears in her eyes, "Why are you so upset? You're not doing anything wrong by starting a new relationship."

_"I'm not!"_ Lena fired back with tears pulling away shaking her head, "It's not like that…we don't _have a relationship_. We have sex with each other, that's its. Sex and only sex." She cried in a whisper too embarrassed to even look at her mother, "I love Antony…I want Antony."

"I know…its okay-" Irina tried to sooth her as images of Dubey suddenly flashed before her mind at hearing her daughter speaking like she had years before.

"And he loves Angelina and wants her…" Lena cried wiping at her eyes, "No, it's not okay." She shook her head, "Its just sex, Mama."

"I understand…better than anyone, I understand." Irina reached up tucking the hair behind her daughter's ear, "It's okay." She gave her a small tear-filled smile. "I did the same…so did your father…and your sister. It's okay, it doesn't make you a bad person or mean that you're doing anything wrong." She went quiet for a moment studying Lena's face in the moonlight, "It's okay to move on, Lena-" She spoke quietly seeing the real struggle in her daughter's eyes.

"_No, I don't want to move on, Mama! I love Antony! I love him!"_ Lena cried with a sob in anger and pain.

"I know you love him, Sweetheart. You'll always love him and that will never change…but it doesn't mean you have to starve yourself of a new and different love. Sydney still loves Danny the way she always did…finding love again with Michael didn't take her love for Danny away." Irina felt her own tears falling.

"Its just sex, Mama." Lena said determinedly as if stating a fact and trying to believe it, "Its just sex." She added again.

"Okay…" Irina agreed with her softly seeing Lena wasn't ready to admit it to herself and knew that only time would change that. Her arms wrapped around Lena again and held her while rocking sideways slowly. "It's okay." She whispered again, holding her tightly and kissing her head once again.

When they came back into the dining room, everyone had finished their' dessert and were talking casually while slowly sipping on their wine. Lena's tears were dried and gone though her breath caught the moment she entered the room and saw Arman holding her sleeping baby niece so comfortably in his arms; Elektra's little head snuggled in the crook of his arm and his large hands protectively keeping her close.

"He's a natural. I think we may have found another babysitter." Nikolas smiled over at Arman who smiled shyly back looking down at the beautiful baby in his arms.

Lena's heart was skipping frantically and the Sensai's words were ringing loudly through it with each erratic beat; words that spoke of another baby in her future and suddenly saw that baby in Arman's arms. With a rapid turn of her head and quick breath she shoved the thoughts out of her mind and heart feeling the tears welling again and refusing to acknowledge the thoughts any further.

Arman saw the tormented look flash through Lena's eyes and her lack of acknowledgement and sighed softly with a smile, "Mama, I think we should be going. I have a great deal to do tomorrow morning before I leave and I don't want to overstay our welcome." He flashed his eyes briefly to Irina, "Thank you, Your Majesty…for inviting us to dinner."

"You're welcome and don't worry about overstaying your welcome." She smiled at him softly seeing he was upset and looking for an out as well, "I understand if you have to go…I'll walk you out." She stood again and carefully extracted the sleeping baby from his arms.

"You're going out tomorrow on the Alixandra?" Nicholas asked speaking as one sailor to another and knowing that new submarine was leaving port tomorrow on a test.

"Yes," Arman's eyes flashed from Nicholas's to Lena's, "I'll be gone for a month…maybe six weeks… The officer I'm replacing has caught meningitis. I just found out this morning."

Lena's eyes immediately darted up feeling a strike of sudden panic and loss she wasn't expecting to feel and quickly squashed it down looking away.

"Thank you everyone…Lena," He acknowledged her quietly and her eyes flashed briefly to his before looking away feeling the tears coming, "Good night." He nodded softly and took his mother's arm walking out with her and Irina.

Almost the moment they were out of the dining room door, Lena bolted from the room once more and headed up to her room, passing like the flash behind Arman, his mother and her own holding the sleeping baby up the staircase behind them.

Arman swallowed hard watching her go and then turned back towards the door, kicking himself mentally knowing it was over, whatever it was, and lamenting its loss and her in his life.

* * *

The next month passed with excruciating slowness with Arman at sea and struggling with his thoughts and feelings deep under the frozen Artic Ocean and Lena, at home and doing the same. She was devastated to learn from her mother in a 'casual fishing expedition' that the submarine was staying out an additional two weeks, making it six in total with him being gone and she cried herself to sleep that night out of self hate for missing him and being with him and thinking about him even on the anniversary of Antony's death and their baby. She screamed, she cried, she ran until her nose bled in the freezing snow and then worked herself into exhaustion in the gym.

Irina had been extremely worried about her the entire time, watching her slide backwards and feeling the pain in her heart just as surely as Lena was. The Captain of the sub had told Irina when she subtly inquired about Arman that he too, was not his normal self and had kept mostly to himself and fairly quiet, not interacting with the crew.

Now she sat with tears in her eyes on the edge of the enormous tub looking down through the bubbles at where Lena had submerged herself, knowing exactly what her daughter was thinking about having done the same thing many times.

When Lena's desperate need for air won out, she came gasping to the surface with wide-eyes and startled to see her mother sitting above her.

"The sub returns to port tomorrow early evening." Irina offered her quietly blinking back her tears, "I love you, Sweetheart." She leaned over kissing Lena's wet hair and left quickly before her tears could fall leaving Lena with her own eyes wide and watering tears.

Lena wagered with herself all morning and afternoon and finally made her decision to stop thinking and just 'do' and found herself picking the lock to Arman's apartment while Max pretended to turn a blind eye and never said a thing about what she was doing.

When the door opened and she turned around to look at him with her big dark imploring eyes, Max knew what she was asking without words and what she wanted.

"I'll wait for you in the car," He voiced in barely above a whisper with a deep sigh, not wanting to leave her alone but knowing she needed this as badly as anything right now…to take another step forward out of the darkness that had swallowed her for the last few years,

"Thank you." Lena gave him a small teary smile, "If I need you…I'll call." She fiddled with her locket around her neck that had her distress call alarm hidden within.

Max nodded softly and left her standing by the door. He slid into the car parked in front of the building where the rest of the detail was waiting and watched as Arman pulled into the underground garage just arriving home. He looked completely zoned out and exhausted and didn't notice the security cars outside his building.

Lena felt a wash of guilt flood over her in invading Arman's personal space without him here but she couldn't take the chance he wouldn't open the door for her, knowing she'd hurt him too that night and terrified on a level that in the past six weeks, he decided she wasn't worth it.

Her eyes flooded with tears as she took her coat off and laid it over the edge of the sofa, her gaze held to the picture of Angelina on the table behind the plush suede furniture and picked it up gently. Her fingertip tracing the beautiful woman's face and wiping the tear that fell onto it when she blinked.

"He must have loved you very much." She whispered to the dead woman in the photograph with a pained smile, setting it down carefully and then turning to sit forward on the couch, waiting for Arman to arrive.

He trudged through the hallway, adjusting the large black duffel over his shoulder and the garment bag slung over his arm fumbling to find his key on the ring and slid it into the lock.

**_*Camelot Lives*_**

Lena's breath caught in her throat hearing and then seeing him, "Hello…" She whispered standing rapidly when he opened the door and then froze staring at her. Tears were instantly in her eyes standing in the silence of the room and watching him slowly enter closing the door behind him.

Six weeks was an entirely long time and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat blinking back his own tears at seeing her again in the flesh after she had consumed his every thought and sense for over a month and his mind kept screaming at him of the fact that she was actually here, before him now. How she got in made no difference as all his' mind could think of was how beautiful she was and how much he'd missed her.

"Hello…" He answered back in the same whispered voice full of emotion and dropped his bags instantly the moment she moved forward at a running pace and jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and arms around his neck, kissing him frantically and crying.

The taste of his tongue in her mouth and the feel of his body pressed to hers' made her want to weep with the acceptance of how much she missed him and he her from the way he was kissing her now and moving them rapidly towards his bed. "I missed you." He breathed out in a rush between rapid kisses laying her down and peeling his jacket off quickly.

"I missed you…" She echoed with a cry and helped him with a desperation to feel his skin on hers, his welcome weight and body inside hers filling the void that didn't seem to exist when they were together. "I missed you…" She repeated with another soft cry with tears streaming from her face as she cupped his, forcing him to look at her in the eyes for the first time for more then a moment, time frozen in that instant before he hungrily kissed her mouth tearing her shirt away wanting nothing more then to be as close to her as humanly possible.

He'd admitted to himself onboard the sub that it more than the intimacy of sex that he'd missed but that he'd missed _her_…that his connection to Lena was so much more than a physical one and that his feelings had somewhere along the way turned from care to love and the thought made him cry never believing before that he would ever find love so consuming again after losing Angelina.

The look in Lena's eyes just now when she held his told him that she felt the same, that her draw to him was more then in comfort or care and even if she couldn't say it aloud or even on a true meaning admit it to herself yet, she felt it…

He frantically moved his hands down to remove her pants, pushing them and her underwear off at the same time so desperate to be inside her after a long time without and groaned with a soft cry when Lena rolled her naked center against his still covered shaft, throbbing for her heat and release and worked rapidly next, on freeing himself while she continued to rid the rest of the clothing.

She moaned with a cry when his fingers slid through her folds and brushed against her pulsating bundle of nerves sending a bolt of lightening straight through her with just his touch and she pulled her legs up to wrap around his waist when he settled between them. He braced his weight on his elbows with hands smoothing the wild hair from her face tenderly and thumbs brushing away her tears before mouth slowly descended onto hers and body slid into her heat at a torturously slow pace. Their fingers locked when he slid up with his thrust and pushed himself' up, pushing her hands into the bed with a groan when he'd filled her completely and then stilled.

Tears in his eyes as he looked down into hers with bodies connected and feeling a sense of completeness and relief wash over him holding her eyes while he slowly pulled out and pushed back in. Lena's breath came in heated pants with surging tears feeling every one of his already memorized ridges sliding into her core and trembling with a soft cry looking up at him, seeing his tears and the look in his eyes and quickly leaned up while he leaned down and locked their lips in bruising kiss with a sob.

His hand slid across her strong muscular back when he hit depth again and pulled her towards him while he shifted his legs around and under them both with her legs still wrapped around his waist, he folded his beneath them so she was sitting in his lap, bodies and chest completely pressed together in a tight little ball. He started them rocking slowly allowing for short thrusts deeply inside her and maximizing the pleasure while being as intimately close as possible.

The tenderness in his hold and the intimacy of the position had changed the rules. They were no longer simply having 'sex.' Feelings that neither' of them could say or even allow to admit to themselves were being conveyed to the other through their touch and kiss.

His fingers dancing lightly down her spine and under her swaying her and her slow kiss making love to his mouth with her tongue tasting their mingling tears. Her teeth slowly pulling away from his bottom lip back up slightly to find his eyes before moving back in just as slowly tilting her head the other way and sliding her tongue along the length of his bottom lip once more and then top before brushing her tongue with his in an electric kiss.

"I missed you…" He whispered into her neck kissing her sweaty pulse point wrapping his arms tightly around her and rolling into her again. He could feel her heart pounding into his through their pressed chests.

She gasped with an inhalation of tears when his fingers pressed into her lower spine pulling her closer and tongue pressed into her mouth causing her to break and cry in ecstasy and release, quivering above and around him feeling complete in a way she hadn't in a long time and cried never believing she would ever again and crying that she did and could with anyone else. Her forehead rolled against his with kisses planted all over his face she held to hers with hands threaded up and around the back of his head when he cried and exploded inside her with such a force it shocked her into crashing with him all over again.

**_*Chasing Cars*_**

They held each other in that intimate pose gently kissing and touching until both of their breath calmed and heart rates evened out. His fingers reaching up to tuck the hair behind her ears with a soft smile holding her eyes and then leaning in to kiss her softly once more. A new round of tears started to fall from her eyes at the feelings swirling through her and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck with lips against his ear, kissing him gently.

They made love again twice more and succumbed to their exhaustion with Lena snuggled beside him, having fallen asleep before she could escape and when Arman woke first in the morning, it was to her beautiful face looking at him from the pillow beside him. Their legs were still entangled and one of her hands was tucked up beneath her cheek; her face was completely peaceful and to him, she was never more beautiful. His eyes slowly welled with tears taking in her gorgeous form beside him, the way the sheet wrapped perfectly over her curves and the soft exposed swells of her breasts, the way her hair lay like soft dark satin over the pillow behind her.

Looking at her with the same mimicking pose his tears fell rolling over his nose when he realized, he couldn't remember ever seeing anything so beautiful in his life, even with Angelina and that his heart was now beating with a new love…a new promise of hope he'd never dared hope for again. He would always love Angelina in his heart and never forget her or the time they had together and if he could, he'd do anything to bring her back…but instead of his heart beating in the lamentation of a great love lost it now beat with a new love found.

Lena's eyes slowly fluttered open and a flash of a small smile crossed her lips before her eyes closed sleepily again and felt his warm lips on hers in a lingering kiss and the wet on her cheeks from his tears.

"Good morning, Beautiful." He whispered brushing his nose with hers. His hand brushed over the side of her head leaning back to lay on his pillow again and her eyes came fully open.

She looked at him through her dark hazy gaze for a long moment, feeling her own tears forming and wetting her lashes thinking about never before waking up beside a man besides Antony and finding her heart thundering at seeing Arman's teary smile and knowing that in this moment she didn't want to be anywhere else. His tears were more then likely for the same reasoning…he'd probably never woken up next to any other woman but his own lost love.

"What happened in the accident?" She finally braved asking so vulnerable and exposed knowing it was time to break through the barrier speaking in a whisper. She saw the wave of new tears flood his eyes and reached for his hand, pulling it close to her chest and linking their fingers with hers' caressing his nervously in support for them both.

"She was on her way home from school in Moscow…February two years ago." He began softly with thumb caressing Lena's, "She hit ice and spun out of control into another oncoming car. The people in the other car weren't injured badly…but Ang," He swallowed his cry and took a breath, "She didn't have a mark on her…just a little cut above her eye…her neck was broken from the whiplash."

Lena cried silently with him, reaching up to wipe his tears from his cheeks while her own fell in giant pools.

"I got to the accident scene before the police did…I was just behind her…having just left her at her car…" He shook his head and closed his eyes seeing her smile and wave, "I should have just taken her home but she didn't want to leave her car all night…I pulled her out of the car and held her until they made me let go." He inhaled a sobbed whisper with words dying off while Lena kept wiping his falling tears and moving closer to him.

Lena sighed heavily when a moment of silence passed, realizing he wasn't going to say more at the moment and knowing it was her turn.

"We were on the way home from the club…for my birthday," Lena began quietly and he nodded softly knowing that much from the news and reports of what happened but never in her words, or all the details that he knew he was about to hear.

"We thought about staying at his apartment but at the time we left the club…it wasn't snowing anymore. We thought it okay to go back to the palace…the next thing I knew we were spinning out of control on the bridge and hit the side…" She sobbed in a whisper with face contorting and he held her hand more tightly and wiped at her tears this time while his own fell wildly, "He screamed my name and we were falling…I felt the blast of freezing water and then nothing."

She inhaled another shaking breath with a whimper, "I woke up under the ice…it was so dark…I couldn't breath," She gasped as if feeling her oxygen being cut off again and the painful restricting of her heart, "I couldn't get out from under the ice." She cried and he did too realizing how terrifying that must have been, "And then I felt nothing…I died." She added in barely a whisper of disbelief, "My mother saw me when I came out from under the ice…she dove in after me and pulled me up with my brother Julian…she knew I was dead," Her face contorted again in another cry and looked at their joined hands, "My sister said…Mama's heart just stopped lying beside me…I woke up in the hospital with her beside me."

Her voice quivered and then gasped, "I knew Antony was gone…I felt it immediately…they didn't have to tell me…and then," She inhaled on a sob shaking her head violently and rolling onto her back with a gasp and another sob as the images flew through her mind, "They told me about the baby…our son who was gone too." She spoke in barely a whisper and edged with trembling emotion, "I held him until they made me let go too…"

She started sobbing covering her eyes with her arm and Arman immediately curled over her, burying his face into her neck crying with her and holding her tightly and then rolling onto his back, bringing her with him to lay over him with her head beneath his chin and arms circling over her back tightly.

Arman cried silently for more than a half hour after she had cried herself back to sleep lying over him and his hand still stroked down her hair and back thinking about what she had told him and his own tragedy with Angelina. He couldn't imagine losing her and their child and the pain had to be unbearable for Lena and he understood now, more then ever, why she went away all those months with little being said about her whereabouts or why she had suddenly gone away. Her son would have been four-years old a week ago if he had survived the accident and envisioning a little boy of that age with her smile and eyes sent another wave of tears running through him and he kissed the top her head, holding her more tightly.

* * *

Irina had gone into Lena's room in the early twilight of morning when her daughter didn't respond to soft knocking, ready to run with her as was their normal routine and gasped softly with an instant flood of tears to see Lena's bed still made from the night before. She knew that her daughter wouldn't be able to stay away from Arman knowing by the look in her eyes and the feeling in her heart that Lena needed him more then she wanted to admit and seeing the empty bed now; without Max having called them on alarm, she knew what the significance of the sight before her meant and covered her mouth with a fist inhaling her sob.

Irina went back to her room and looked down at her sleeping husband with tears flooding down her face and Jack seemed to sense her presence immediately.

"What's wrong?" He asked sitting up immediately with concern flooding him and then bewilderment when Irina started pulling her running shirt off over her head and stripping her clothes off.

"Nothing is wrong." She whispered through her tears, "Things are finally going right." She cried crawling over him and pushing him back down whipping her long hair off to one side and kissing him tenderly while Jack reached up and tucked her hair over one ear waiting for her to explain more while his hands roamed up her naked sides, "She's not here, Jack…Lena." She swallowed hard with a smile and tears seeing his flash of confusion, "She stayed the night with him…she stayed." She repeated in a whisper.

"Meaning…" Jack gasped softly knowing all about Lena and Arman's relationship before when he spoke with Irina having grown quite concerned seeing the back slide in his daughter over the last month and a half, Irina told him what was going on. He also knew from his own heartbreaking experience, and his wife's, the significance of what 'staying through the night' with someone meant.

"She loves him." Irina nodded softly with a smile and a soft cry kissing Jack's lips again, "She's no longer denying her connection with him." She whispered and rolled when Jack rolled over on top of her, pinning her with his weight while she reached up and brushed her fingers over his ear and he drew his fingers over her cheek and jaw with tears forming in his own eyes seeing the happiness and light in his wife's, hearing that his daughter was truly healing her broken heart and moving on from her tragedy. "She's going to be okay, Jack." She whispered more to herself then him, truly believing it now more then ever and relieved her baby girl was finding happiness again. "She's going to be okay…" She repeated and cut it off my leaning up and capturing his lips with a heated kiss, her naked body pressed with his as they began their own familiar dance of making love with the flood of emotions that came from knowing their physical manifestation of 'love' was finding it again. Lena was no longer just simply existing…but living again.


	69. Chapter 69

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Let's Get Lost **_**by Beck and Bat for Lashes**_**,**__** Uf Dem Anger, No 7: Floret/Silva **_**by Carl Orff,**_** Carol of The Bells by George Winston, Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne, O Holy Night **_**by Charlotte Church**_**, O Come All Ye Faithful **_**by Jeff Victor,**_** Stay **_**by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko**_**, Together **_**by The XX.**_**  
**_

* * *

SIXTY-NINE

o

**_*Let's Get Lost*_**

Lena awoke after sleeping another hour to the sound of Arman's heart beating in her ear and turned her head slowly to meet his smiling eyes. Without a word, she leaned forward and kissed his lips gently, letting it linger with bodies pressed together and the heat between them quickly fanning. She slid her leg over his until she was straddling him and locked her fingers tightly with his as she shimmied down his body feeling his arousal against her backside growing harder with her every probe of her tongue and sucking lightly against the tip of his own.

He felt the rush of wetness of her heat against his lower abs and trembled with tears kissing her just as gently when she backed up slowly impaling herself onto him and he helped her too eager to wait to be fully inside her by lifting his hips with feet planted. He wanted to tell her in that moment he loved her, could never imagine his life without her now and being inside her felt like 'home'…completed him in ways he never felt before but knowing she wasn't ready to hear it, nor he to say it, he decided to show her instead.

His hands went to her hips as she undulated above him and sat up, looking down at him with her gorgeous intense eyes watering with her own tears of mixed emotions and re-linked their fingers together over her hip bones. They began their slow dance of twisting hips in opposite motions while holding each others eyes and he sat up grabbing the back of her neck with one hand and kissing her deeply with claiming tongue, a kiss that left little doubt to either of them his feelings for her or what he was saying and panted with a whisper of words unspoken when he pulled back just centimeters to look into her dark eyes and brush noses before kissing her again with Lena's hands cupping the back of his head and kissing him with intensity and tears.

She turned around on him, straddling his bent legs in order to be as close as possible and lulled her head back against his shoulder while he kissed down her neck and across her collar-bone while moving inside her.

Their hands found each other again over her slick rippling stomach muscles and the smooth sheen of sweat they were working up again and entwined with mutual gasps at feeling him moving inside her for the first time together with their palms flat against her body. He thrust up harder feeling himself lengthen even further with an almost painful solidity wrapped in her warmth with hot tears falling from his eyes with the tidal wave of love he felt for her and had been holding back behind the walls of his heart now broken through.

Her arm looped up around his neck and titled her face to kiss him gasping softly with a pleasured moan when his free hand found her breasts and thumb grazed over her rigid peak before cupping the full globe and kneading it softly while thrusting up hard in a mix of gestures. Their entwined hands pressing against her lower body pushing her internal nerve bundles against his shaft caused her to exhale a long exaggerated gasp and cry that ended in a scream of pleasure as she flew once more into the abyss of blindness and stars.

His strong arm around her ribcage and under her breasts held to her more tightly while she shook and quivered and he felt himself about to go over, his last concentrated thrusts were hard and fast and he cried out her name for the first time hitting climax, "Lena!" and rocked her internally with the blast, feeling it against their palms as well and continuing to hold her as closely as possible kissing her neck repeatedly in soft kisses until their movements came to a stand still and they were left simply holding onto each other with bodies completely connected.

Arman's mouth worked up her neck and to her jaw, kissing the spot before her ear and then her mouth tenderly before releasing her of his hold.

Lena got into the shower first and for the first since they'd started their intimate relationship didn't feel the need to cover herself or be shy naked in front of him after and when Arman joined her moments later, it seemed he no longer did either. He handed her the shampoo with a soft smile, trading spots with her under the hot spray after leaning forward and catching her lips with a sweet kiss and washing themselves and helping each other in silence that was comfortable though both of their minds were rapid firing in a million thoughts.

"What do you want for breakfast?" He asked with a soft smile handing her a towel when they were finished and then wrapping one around his own waist, "Didn't I read somewhere that you're favorite breakfast was banana pancakes? You want me to make those?"

Lena inhaled a sharp sob and shook her head looking away and then forcing herself to look back up at him when he reached out to gently lift her chin with concern flooding his features asking what was wrong. "No bananas…no pancakes." She shook her head 'no' softly.

"Antony made them for me the morning before he…" She couldn't say it and he nodded softly, "And I craved bananas the entire time I was pregnant." She added softly looking away again with a soft cry and then turned and buried her face in his still wet skin when he pulled her into his chest holding her tightly and kissing her wet head of hair.

"Okay…how about cheeseburgers then?" He asked with a soft smile through his tears feeling badly at exploding that unintentional landmine and was relieved when he heard her small laugh, "Or maybe steak and eggs?" He asked naming all the American type breakfasts he could think of knowing he was right in reading she loved them the best and adding a few of the other things he knew she liked, like cheeseburgers with mayo instead of ketchup.

"Cheeseburgers sound good." Lena nodded with a smile at his reaction and attempts to make her feel better.

"Oh shit…sorry," He apologized right away for swearing around her having never done so before except for when she pummeled him upon their second meeting at the Olympics. "I completely forgot I have nothing of real food because I've been gone for almost two months…I cleaned everything out of my refrigerator."

"Well I'm sure you've got something in the cupboards or pantry we can make do with. I'm quite resourceful when I need be." She smiled softly wiping at her tears still pressed to his chest and comforted by the weight of his arms around her.

"I have no doubt you are resourceful in there with all your talents." He kissed her head and then laughed softly leading her back into the main room where his bed was in the loft and over to his dresser. "That you can cook actually does surprise me a little if I'm being honest." He flashed her a smile and watched as her eyebrows slanted giving him a look that challenged him.

"Why does that surprise you?" She asked in flat tone folding her arms in defense over her chest watching as he pulled out t-shirts that said Imperial Navy across the front and then a pair of pants for himself and draw string shorts for her both blazoned with the same Naval issue. "I've been cooking or rather, in the kitchen with Mama helping her or watching her since I was just weeks old…she cooks you know? She doesn't just wave her magic Tsar wand and food appears." She added with a smile when he burst out laughing.

"Oh…that's a funny image." He laughed handing her the shorts and t-shirt, "The next time I see her on the television in Imperial regalia with her scepter in hand I'm going to hear you saying that in my head and I'll burst out laughing imagining her saying something like _'Abra-ca-dabra-'_ and then 'poof' food appears before her." He held his side shaking his head before pulling the shirt over his head, "I hope you don't mind the Navy issue duds as it's all I have in way of comfortable clothes. I know you're hardcore Air Force and all…" He teased with a smirk looking at her uniform crumpled on the floor beside the bed with an outrageous number of military decorations or ribbons and actual medals blazoned across the breast of her jacket from her unbelievable feats already thus far in her Air Force career including the amazing trips into space.

"First of all, that image is funny." Lena admitted with a laugh snatching the clothes with a smile, "But seriously? You honestly think that just because we're part of the Imperial Family that we can't cook? Who do you think helped my mother make the dinner you ate at the palace that night?" She tapped with one finger to her chest and slanted eyebrow making him snicker with laughter again, "And secondly, I am hardcore Air Force as you said but its also my Navy, of which I'll be commanding some day so I can't really hold favorites in the military forces and legions…now can I?" She asked with her own smirk dropping her towel to reveal her gorgeous naked body to him and laughed softly seeing him swallow hard, "Besides," She plucked the shirt over her head that danced around her thighs, "I think I look better in this than you do, Sailor."

"Yes, Ma'am," He saluted her snapping to attention with a wicked smile and then whistled playfully with heated gaze traveling over her body, "I think you definitely look better in my Navy blues than I, Space Critter."

"Space Critter?" Lena repeated flabbergasted at the name and he roared with laughter at the look on her face.

"Yes, that's what your nickname is going to be from me from now on." He laughed and she fumed making him laugh harder, "Okay…how about Moon Critter or Moon Crawler or Moon Jumper?" Her eyebrow only became more slanted and hand went to her hip making his laughter ring out again, "Okay…what about Star Twirler?" She really didn't seem happy with that one, "Alright fine then. I tried and thus we are sticking with Space Critter."

"Space Critter? You make me sound like I'm an insect or alien." She shook her head pulling on his shorts that were too big for her slender hips and she had to pull the strings extra tight in order to keep them up.

"Well, who's to say you aren't an alien?" He challenged her with a devious eyebrow and sexy teasing tone, "I mean…considering your flawless figure, your genius brain and your unbelievable anomalies…I think you could very well be an alien being…a higher form of intelligence from another galaxy as I've always thought you can't possibly be from this world."

"I was born in a CIA prison cell…do you honestly think a being from another world would drop me into the last place on Earth you'd want to be if you're a foreign invader?" She asked with a soft laugh playing along with his tease.

"_Of course! It's genius!_ No one would ever suspect you then!" He laughed tying his own pants. "And you did manage to break into the White House and President's bedroom before you were even a week old." He smirked with a slanted eyebrow enjoying the light banter.

"I had nothing to do with that." Lena shook her head with a soft smile walking beside him into the kitchen, "I was along for the ride on that one. My sister and Michael just brought me along as a 'powerful tool of persuasion' to save our mother's life…if Nee-nee hadn't done that…" She shook her head again only this time with no smile and a hint of sadness as her voice dropped in decibel, "She would be my mother instead of my sister…neither of us would have Mama…I would have never known her."

"But you were…a very powerful tool of persuasion." He reached up with a smile tucking her wet and curling spiral hair behind her ear, "And you both saved her life…and because of that, we all have her as our 'Mama' in a way now as Mother Russia…so thank you for being such a cute baby and 'tool,' Space Critter." He teased again with a raging smile when she shook her head at the nickname he wasn't going to give up, "You call her Nee-Nee?" He asked with a smile while opening the cupboards and gesturing her to take a look.

"I always have. It's the first thing I learned to call her…Mama said when Sydney went on her honeymoon I missed her…and kept pointing to the picture of her beside Mama's bed saying 'Nee-nee' over and over. Her nickname just stuck." She smiled softly which grew when he made the 'awe' noise while scanning his cupboards and seeing they really were quite bare.

"I noticed that your father still calls you _Peanut_." Arman smiled loving this morning with her.

"Yes, he does." Lena smiled with a shrug unable to imagine her father calling her anything but, "And Eric still calls me Princess Tiger Lilly, and Mama still calls me Snuggle Bug-"

_"Snuggle Bug!"_ He yelped with a smiling laugh, "See! I'm not the only one who thinks of you as a cute little buggy type thing! Even the Tsar agrees with me and her word is law!" He gave her a serious nod trying to hold back his smile, "Maybe I should start calling you that."

_"No!"_ Lena shook her head immediately with a smile, "Only Mama is allowed to call me, Snuggle Bug and that's usually only moments preceding our slumber parties."

"Slumber parties? With the Tsar?" He asked with a slanted eyebrow and amused smile.

"Well she's not my Tsar, well she is. Yes. But more so…she's my mother and yes, since I was a baby there are nights we throw my father out and sleep together." She admitted with a smile and shrug again and Arman stared at her with a fascinated smile having never known anything like this and imagining it all now was mind blowing, "Sometimes…we let him stay…but sometimes when its all of us…and I mean all of us, my aunt, my sisters, my nieces and cousins," She rambled on with a head bob and laughter, "Well then there is no room for him."

"How often does this slumbering party thing happen?" He asked with a smile crossing his arms over his chest.

"At least once a month with all of us…and a few times a month with just Mama and I or Mama and Nee-Nee and Nadia and I…its sort of become our family tradition." She smiled with happiness reaching for the box of Jell-o tapioca pudding she spotted and then two cans without labels that held a mystery substance. "Mama started it with Nee-Nee when she was a baby and Daddy would be gone on trips…she didn't want to sleep alone." She smiled over at him while he handed her a mixing bowl and pulled out the carton of Soy Milk from the cupboard that didn't need to be refrigerated.

"I remember that from the films." He nodded along softly with a smile realizing once again that they were 'real' and based on the real people now in his life and could actually 'see' his Empress curled up with a baby in her arms in place of the beautiful actress who played her, having seen her with the baby Elektra in her arms the last he saw of her.

"Yes…and then after she became Tsar and it was her that was leaving on trips instead of my father, he would have me snuggle with him to fall asleep needing his 'security blanket' as he calls her and I was the substitute weight draped over him in her absence." She smiled with a soft laugh shaking her head.

"They really love each other…" He answered the unspoken question with awe in his voice more so every time he heard something new or watched them together.

"Yes…I'm in awe of it, too." She smiled softly and accepted the can opener he was holding out to her. "We all are."

* * *

"Well, I must admit; you are quite resourceful." Arman smiled with a laugh finishing his last bite of Spaghetti-O's that was inside the mystery cans that was their breakfast along with the pudding and some pickles they found in a jar still sealed in his pantry. "I promise to get some groceries so you'll never have to eat another breakfast like this again."

"It's not so bad…believe me. After learning that my mother was fed a tiny amount of rotting bread and water only every twelve days for almost a year…" Lena shook her head in her own awe, "I've never looked at food the same way again. Any food is a blessing…and to me, this was good."

"You really are amazing." He shook his head looking at her with a smile, "Your mother is nothing short of phenomenal and I can tell already, you're going to be a fabulous Tsar just as she is."

"You came to that conclusion just from hearing me speak happily of canned spaghetti?" Lena shook her head with a nervous laugh rising from her breakfast chair and walking over to the sink.

"No…not just from hearing you speak of _happily eating canned spaghetti,_" He spoke softly following behind her and setting his own dishes in the sink before wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her head, "You've already done more and accomplished more then most people ever will in their entire lives…you have an amazing heart that is 'industrial size," He laughed softly, placing his hand and hers' over her pounding chest, "Capable of loving all of Imperial Russia just like hers…you have an amazing way with people…with children…an unbelievable bond and strength with your family and you all support each other. You're a pioneer in the new frontier of space," He smiled swaying them slightly, "You saved countless lives with the cures developed from your phenomenal genes…won an astounding sum of Gold Medals as the supreme being athlete on this planet that no one will ever parallel…You saved your mother's life just with the beat of your heart…and you defied death just as she did." He added softly, "These are just some of the reasons…why I know you'll be an incredible ruler…I will sail wherever you tell me too."

"For the record, my mother still beats me in every single thing I've ever won Gold in at the Olympics…she's the '_supreme being_' as _The Chosen One._" Lena clarified with a happy smile thinking about her mother flipping her around so easily with more to spare still to this day or beating her in any race or shooting targets. "And I only wish I had your confidence in my ability to lead someday like she is now…following in the footsteps of '_Irina the Great_' is no small feat…it terrifies me and honors me all at the same time more than words could ever properly convey."

Arman's eyebrows narrowed slightly to hear her self doubt for the first time in being able to do well as the next leader of their country, though placing himself in her position just now, in this moment and thinking about that actual job and responsibility he could understand. Until now, until he '_knew'_ Lena on a personal level…he never really thought about them, _as actual people_, and to him, his Tsar had always been this _super-being_ they all knew and loved in their Tsar Irina. She made it look so easy and natural he never thought twice about Lena doubting herself of being capable of doing the same.

"I can imagine that if I was in your shoes, following your mother's example I'd be both of those too. But what better teacher can you have for the job you will do after her? Then your mother, right now?" He turned her in his arms with a smile, "You have the best teacher for this position…this life. You've had her since your alien birth in CIA custody…before even, as I'm sure and in fact I know, from the films, she was talking and teaching you in-utero." He smiled with a laugh bringing humor back into their suddenly deep conversation. "You came out of the womb practically bullet-proof." He laughed softly getting her to smile and shake her head. "You're going to be amazing…and you have an amazing family beside you to support you…and a country behind you and who believes in you…That's all you need right there."

Lena felt her eyes water and quickly blinked them back shaking her head and leaning up to kiss his lips quickly, "Thank you."

"No thanks needed…" Arman tucked the other hair behind her other ear staring at her eyes intensely, "But can I ask something, my future Tsar of Russia?" Lena nodded softly and he continued, "Where is this self-doubt coming from? It's just hard to believe that you could doubt yourself when we all find you so amazing…strong…and capable without thought of leading the nation and world really, after your mother's reign is over."

Lena inhaled a large sigh and turned around, turning on the water and rinsing the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher. "It's hard to think about the future…and what I might be like…or capable of…when I'm just existing to get through the day…and it's hard not to think about, _how in the world can I possibly lead the nation?_ _When I struggle some days to even get out of bed?"_

"Ah…I see." Arman kissed the top of her shoulder speaking quietly, "I knew that feeling well, too…though I cannot say that I have had the weight of a nation's future on top of it. You've really done an amazing job at handling it all, Lena…you really have."

"Yes…well…you say that without knowing all the truth." She shrugged with tears forming in her eyes setting the rinsed dishes aside and then turning to face him, the judge and jury of her errors. "I went away. Remember?" She asked quietly and he nodded softly holding her closer to him when he saw the wall she was trying to build forming in her eyes, "Do you know where I went and why?"

He shook his head 'no' that he didn't, "Your mother made an announcement that you needed some time away…to grieve…after everything you'd gone through…it was understandable." He spoke softly of what little he knew.

"Yes, well…I don't really know if that's what you call it but yes, I guess it was. See... she was saving me from myself." She looked at him with a sarcastic smile even as tears fell from her eyes and her voice quivered, "I had pretty much become an alcoholic by that time, drinking every night until I passed out so I wouldn't have to sleep and face the nightmares and demons that wouldn't leave me to be. For months I did this…surviving on barely any sleep that the alcohol would allow me of a couple of hours each night before I was under attack again from nightmares and the next day started." She swallowed hard looking down at his chest and the anchor on his shirt, "I stopped eating, sleeping, caring or thinking at all…I just wanted to die. I just wanted to die." She repeated in a whisper and missed the tears falling from Arman's eyes while he reached up and wiped her own, "I almost got my wish." Her eyes flashed to his and saw the startled look there, "The night before Mama took me away…I wasn't thinking…got very drunk and passed out in the snow. No one knew where I was and by the time my mother and brother found me…I was in the severe stages of hypothermia." She shook her head and sniffled now ashamed of being so stupid then, "I almost died that night. I was upset that they'd saved me actually. When I woke up, Mama told me she was taking me away and I didn't have an option in how I handled my grief anymore. You should have seen the look in her eyes," Lena cried softly seeing that flash before her, "I've never seen her that scared when she was looking at me, save two other times when I was little and hid from her and the second, when I was kidnapped…but nothing like this, I mean the look that she saw in my eyes of _I wished I'd died_…that was an unimaginable horror for her in a whole new way. I was so selfish then," She sobbed again holding back her cries staring at his shirt again, "So…she took me away…to Japan and the monastery where she and I have trained with the Samurai since I was really little. Cut me off from liquor and everything and everyone until I could find myself again. I was so angry with her at first…but she stayed by my side as she always had done, letting me rage against her at times and still she stayed…it was then, that I really and truly finally understood…that when my heart bleeds…so does hers. She feels everything I do…that's why she was by my side…she could no sooner let me die than to cut out her heart and leave it behind."

Lena cried reaching up to wipe her tears. "She had already done that once in having to leave my sister and father…and again with losing my brother…and one night as I lay there on the ground in the forest, looking up at the moon having run from the monastery, my demons and her…I realized…I was asking her to do it…to cut out her heart and leave it behind, again, by wanting her to leave me alone…let me go and die…I thought about what it would be like if my child had asked the same of me…if I was in her place with my son and him asking me the same, how I would react? I would do the same as her…I would fight for him and not let go…" She sobbed on her inhale, "The thought of losing me, another piece of her heart…literally 'killed her,' Arman when I died, I literally took the beat of her heart away with mine." She cried shaking her head again with the thought and looking up into his eyes feeling his tear dripping onto their arms, "And by pleading with her, begging her and screaming at times, at her to just leave me alone and let me go…let me die… I knew that by granting that wish, I'd kill her too but at the time I didn't care if she died too… I just wanted the pain to end so badly. I was so angry at her for loving me so much she couldn't live without me."

Arman reached up to wipe the steady stream of tears falling from her eyes not caring about his own.

"That night laying out there in the middle of nowhere Japan…I realized how hypocritical that was of me. I wanted to die because I couldn't live without them and she felt the same way about me and here I was basically begging her to be the sacrificial kamikaze for me. I was horrified at the thought I was asking that of her…I had made a vow when I was thirteen and had the truth given to me about my mother and the past after making horrendous accusations at her, that I would never again doubt her love for me or that she was always doing what was in my best interests…" Lena's fist clenched and unclenched with anger still inside her over her failure then, "I had vowed I would never, ever put her in a position like she was faced with before, making her sacrifice her heart and life ever again… and there I was, asking her to kill herself, basically, by standing by and letting me kill myself and die. She had been one of the only reasons I was staying alive before she took me to Nara and before I had that epiphany in the forest that night, but after…she became my 'light' out of the darkness…my reason to find myself. I would not destroy her life and destiny because of my own selfish wants in the world. She sacrificed everything to give me everything…and I would do the same for her…Sensai had told me that if I stopped fighting her and followed her instead, she'd lead me out of the darkness, already knowing the way having been through it herself…and so I did…and she led me as far as she could before I had to find the rest of the way myself."

"That's why she came home to Russia before you did?" He asked softly remembering that time period and she nodded. "I still stand in my earlier statement only adding _more emphasis_ to it now with this latest information…you are amazing and have handled it exceptionally well." He gave her a small smile continuing to wipe her tears. "You found your way, Lena…no matter if your mother started you down the path by dragging you kicking and screaming to the right one…it was you who came the last leg on your own." He added softly enveloping her into a hug and holding her tightly. "Your mother made it through it and became the amazingly strong leader she is today…you made it through it and have become the amazingly strong leader you will be in the future." His lips kissed her forehead at her hairline, "You're too hard on yourself, Space Critter." He smiled cupping her face with one hand and lifting it to meet his own kissing her softly.

When Lena left him around noon, she had stripped off his clothes and put her own wrinkly ones back on, forgoing the blouse without buttons once more and just buttoning her uniform's black jacket before covering it with her winter coat. Her lips locked with his in a long lingering stalemate of a kiss with lips holding before she tore her face away and left his apartment.

Max was still downstairs waiting for her and she felt her sense of guilt wash through her that he'd been waiting for her all this time and when he got out of the SUV to open the door for her, she stopped in the snow with tears in her eyes and a smile before launching her arms around him, hugging him tightly in thanks for always taking such good care of her in his own quiet way. She kissed his cheek and gave him a smile before sliding into the front and Max tried desperately to blink the tears away before walking around the vehicle and getting in the other side.

When Lena arrived home, Irina caught her on the stairs trying to sneak back in before anyone saw her in the middle of the day and said nothing, only grabbed onto her holding her ferociously in a hug with raging tears in silent streams coming from her eyes for a long few minutes and then kissed her face all over, cupping it and holding her dark intense blurry eyes with her own and telling her how much she loved her before letting her hands drop and Lena looked at her only a second before launching her arms around her mother again with new tears.

That night, when Arman went to bed by himself he looked up at the moon with a soft smile and a nod, knowing that she had been there and remembering the photograph of Antony she'd placed in the window to look down on her and his eyes filled with tears speaking to her man on the moon, "She loved you very much…loves you still and always will…but I love her too." He whispered holding the shirt of his that she'd worn and still smelled like her in his hands with tears falling silently from his eyes and sniffled with a surge of new tears as he looked down and then back up,

"I'll make a deal with you, Antony…if you take care of, and look after my love, Angelina up there with you…I'll do the same for your love, Lena down here…because I love her, too…and I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to make her happy. She deserves to be happy…and so much more." He reached up and wiped at his eyes, "I love her." He whispered again saying it aloud now that he admitted it to himself felt better and better.

As the days and weeks went by, they spent more and more time together, just being with one another, laughing, talking, crying and going out in public or to family functions together never explaining their relationship to anyone and from the outsiders view who didn't want to assume anything, they looked like they were two people of similar tragic backgrounds that had found a great friendship with each other and enjoyed spending time together.

* * *

When Irina's birthday rolled around in mid-December and Lara's, a massive ball was held at the Winter Palace to honor the occasions. It was the first time, that Lena had asked Arman to be her Official Escort having not had one to any ball or event since Antony's death and the murmurs of how close she and Arman were becoming began to bubble through Russia and the world when they heard the news. The two never showed any public displays of affection at all, not even holding hands and thus, very difficult for the Press to bite onto anything but just that, rumors.

With the sensitivity of the situation, and with their love for their Tsarevicha and knowing what she'd been through, the Russian Press had backed off the story while still listening to the murmurs saying quietly behind the lines that they wouldn't print or report on anything until it was concrete in its nature and not just rumors.

"Abra-ca-dabra," Arman whispered with a smile next to Lena's ear when they watched her mother rising from her throne at the head of the massive ballroom to accept her father's hand for the traditional waltz and Lena instantly burst into laughter trying to stifle it and swatted at him.

**_*_****_Uf dem Anger, No. 7_***

"You're terrible!" She whispered back with a smile, "You do look very handsome though, this evening, Sailor." Her hand brushed down his arm while eyes raked in his official officer's ball uniform, "I like your saber." She smiled wickedly making him choke on air when she brushed her hip against his formal military weapon at his side. "Show time." She whispered before he had a chance to respond when the first cue for their entrance into the waltz rang out, being invited in as members of the Imperial family to join her parents who had always begun the dance with everyone else joining in after and after a few moments, everyone joined in numbering well over a thousand in attendance for such a big party and celebration.

"They certainly look like they're having fun," Jack smiled over at Lena seeing her laughing with Arman as they danced not far from them. "This is the most I've seen her laugh and smile in public in a long time…"

"I was just thinking the same thing," Irina whispered back with a smile and tears pricking her eyes at hearing Lena's burst of laughter wondering what he was saying to her to make her laugh like that, "She's happy again…really happy."

"I see that look in your eyes," Jack smiled with a laugh taking in his wife's profile and catching Irina's eyes, "What have you got up your sleeve now, Mama?"

"Nothing up my sleeve…just thinking that now might be a good time to switch partners and let you dance with your smiling middle child?" Irina flashed him her brilliant smile with a soft laugh that he knew her so well.

"Dancing with Julian in this way might cause somewhat of a scandal for tomorrow's papers." Jack smirked back and then laughed softly when Irina started shaking her head with a snicker at his humor.

"I'm speaking of our 'second middle' child and you know that, My Loving Tease..." She flashed her brilliant smile at him while her heart smiled along, "Though the image you present does make me laugh...I'm being serious and time is quickly running out."

"Well as much as I hate the thought of surrendering you into any other mans' arms," Jack smiled kissing her hand, "For a dance with my daughter I'll withstand the agony without your presence by my side for at least one portion of this evening, My Love. Well get back to that 'Loving Tease' part in a different manner later." His mouth found hers in chaste kiss feeling her smile before they spun and traded partners and Lena ended up in his arms and Irina with Arman.

Arman immediately looked like he'd swallowed a bowling ball and he couldn't quite get it down looking terrified to be dancing with Irina. "Are you okay? Or do I make you that nervous?" She asked him with her gorgeous smile and teasing tone.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty." He smiled softly at her blushing a bit red, "It's just…I've never had the pleasure of dancing with you before and…its slightly overwhelming to dance with the Tsar."

"And yet not so overwhelming for you to dance with the future Tsar?" Irina asked with a smile and tilt in her voice on her fishing expedition when she followed his eyes to Lena dancing with Jack.

"Well…no actually…to me she's just…no not _just._" He shook his head burning bright red with embarrassment at fumbling what he was trying to convey and Irina found it endearing, "She's Lena…and she is overwhelming." He smiled bashfully and looked towards her again, "In a very good way…As are you!" He quickly added with eyebrows hitting his hairline that what he'd said might not have sounded right. "I can't seem to say what I want to these days, Your Majesty…my apologies."

"And what is it exactly, Arman, that you want to say these days and can't?" Irina asked with a motherly yet authoritative tone that forced one to look at the answer whether they wanted to answer it aloud or not.

"A great many things, Your Majesty." He answered softly with gaze shifting back to Lena unconsciously.

"Tell me, Arman…how do you feel about my daughter?" She asked switching completely to motherly tone and catching his surprised eyes intently, knowing how he felt but just wanted to make him recognize it.

"Nothing she's ready to hear, Your Majesty." He answered her quietly with a kick in his heart knowing Irina knew exactly how he felt.

"I see." Irina smiled at him sadly but with hope, "Perhaps, Arman…what she needs to hear is exactly that. She may not be ready to respond with the same…but knowing my daughter in this situation…she will never be the first one to tell you how she feels as she fears for her heart and its breaking again. If you let her know how you feel…you open the door for her to follow through after you." She smiled at him softly with fingers reaching up to graze his chin and force his eyes to hers, "I know this isn't easy for you either…but there is nothing in life worth risking everything for, more than love." He nodded softly against her fingers in understanding given her history. "And I would know." She smiled at him with fresh tears in her eyes before looking over to Jack and Lena dancing as the song to the waltz changed and they separated to clap in the traditional style that went with the dance.

"The best advice I can ever give you…is to listen to your heart. I know what my daughters' is saying but I will not reveal that to you…" She flashed her playful eyes towards him again; "You must unlock that secret for yourself...that is, if you haven't already and are busy trying to not hear it or your own." She kissed his cheek just in time and spun away, re-aligning herself to dance with Vaughn as Sydney took over in dancing with Arman, Lena moved over to dance with Nikolas and Nadia shifted into Jack's arms so he was once again dancing with his daughter.

"I gather from the intense look on your face now, and the way it looked just a moment ago dancing with my mother, that she was dispensing advice on matters of the heart." Sydney smiled widely and laughed softly when his mouth dropped open slightly in stunned surprise. "Trust me when I say…listen to whatever she told you…she's never wrong about these kinds of things. She knew my heart better then me after spending less then a half hour in my presence after a twenty-year absence in my life."

"That's because you're her child…your heart is apart of hers." He smiled remembering this conversation with Lena.

"Yes, that's right." Sydney nodded with a long drawn out style and knowing eyes, "And exactly why you should listen to whatever she told you…because even though you may not be my mother's child in the physical sense, Lena is…and Mom knows her heart better then anyone." Her eyes flashed from her mother dancing with Vaughn and smiling to Lena dancing with Nikolas. "I don't know what she told you…" Sydney's eyes came back to his with a slight shrug in her shoulders, "But whatever it was…replay it in your mind on a continuous loop until you understand what she said…really and truly." She kissed his cheek softly and he kissed her hand before twirling away and ending up with Nadia in his arms when Sydney turned into Jacks'.

"So the look your face tells me that first my mother hit you up with some advice and then my sister came along and pounded it into you as reinforcement, am I right?" Nadia asked him with a smile and a soft laugh as her eyes flashed from his, to her mother who was now dancing with her husband and then back to Sydney and over to Lena who was now with Vaughn.

"Seriously…what is it with you people? Are you all psychic, Your Highness?" He asked with a soft laugh shaking his head.

"Not psychic but very in tune after thorough instruction, with our sixth sense and especially where our family is concerned. Mama is the main heart and whatever is going on with her tends to feed into ours and vice versa." Nadia smiled over his shoulder at her mother having learned so much about her in the last few years and more everyday. "Of course…she understands us all better then we understand ourselves at times or each other which is why…if she says something we're all inclined to listen and then support whatever advice she is giving."

"The Grand Duchess Nee-Nee has just told me almost the same thing." He smiled and caught her laugh with his addressing of Sydney in the way her sister did.

"You have been spending a great deal of time with, Lena if you're thinking of Sydney as Nee-Nee." Nadia laughed softly, "And in this case, Nee-Nee is very right as she almost always is when it comes to understanding Mama…" She paused for a moment with a smile tracking her eyes over to her husband and mother. "Without her advice…I know that I would not have my husband, or our beautiful baby girl…the love was always there on our own parts, we just needed her subtle guidance in listening to what our hearts were trying to say to each other without the messing of the minds getting in the way. She's very good about doing that…putting people on the right paths and not interfering of course, just trying to eliminate the obvious barriers, she can see, that we can't at times and not destroying them for us…leaving us to do that, but showing us how from what she's learned."

The dance ended and everyone clapped and Irina walked towards the front with the piano having been asked numerous times to play something and never one to disappoint began to play one of her Christmas season favorites.

**_*Carol of the Bells*_**

"Lena told me about that…in regards to her own barriers," Arman spoke softly and Nadia's eyes instantly flooded with tears even though she remained smiling softly as she glanced over at her sister now laughing with Vaughn, "How your mother put her on the right path and helped her to break through her barriers leading her out of her darkness when she took her to Japan." His eyes flashed up to Irina playing the grand piano so beautifully and looking gorgeous as she did so.

"She told you all that?" Nadia asked with a bit of surprise and swallowed hard, shaking her head softly when he nodded and she smiled wider, "That right there…tells me a great deal in regards to your position in my sisters life, Arman and how she feels about you… A big thing in our family is letting our hearts do the talking when our mouths cannot say what we want the other to know…just remember that… and that if you ever find yourself pressed chest to chest with my sister and she's silent…she's still talking to you in saying what she cannot express in words." Nadia added the end in almost a whisper choking on emotion with a smile looking at Lena and then back to Arman before kissing his cheek and walking back to her husband again passing Lena and kissing Nikolas soundly once back in his arms and Arman watched the almost domino effect as first she kissed her husband, and then Sydney and Vaughn, and suddenly, there Lena was back in his arms and his heart jumped wanting to kiss her and knowing he couldn't in such a public place.

"I can only imagine what my mother and sisters were pickling your ear with." Lena laughed softly with a nervousness seeing the shift in his gaze looking at her so intensely.

"They all only spoke to me of their love for you…saying almost, the exact same thing…so much so, its almost eerie." He smiled with a soft laugh while everyone was transfixed watching Irina.

"We are all so much alike in so many ways." Lena smiled proudly looking over her sisters and her mother, "I'm very blessed to have a family that loves me so and whom I love with the same great love in turn."

"Yes, you are." He smiled leaning in and then stopping himself when he realized he was about to kiss her without thinking about it. "I want to kiss you desperately right now…" He whispered with dark intent eyes and Lena felt the same desperation in wanting him to. It was her decision whether or not to kiss him or let herself be kissed as doing so would announce to the world, they were a couple…something she didn't know if she was ready for and yet didn't care on some level only that she wanted to kiss him in turn right at this moment.

"Hold that thought…" She whispered in thick voice with a small smile knowing they couldn't exactly run out in the middle of the room with her mother playing the piano and all eyes fixated to her. Movement now would only cause unwanted attention.

They waited until the song ended and the moment it did, Lena was leading Arman quickly but subtly out of the main ballroom and into the private hallway leading to their own rooms for getting ready and resting. Looking quickly around to make sure no one was around; she pushed through the large door and pulled him inside with a soft laugh.

**_*Hold You In My Arms*_**

"Now…you can do as you want." She smiled shutting the door and then walking slowly back towards him.

Arman's face lit into a glowing smile as he stepped forward quickly with one hand to her waist in the tight confines of her Imperial gown and the other gently to the side of her face, his lips seared with hers. His mind instantly flashed back to her mother's words, '_If you let her know how you feel…you open the door for her to follow through after you…_' and he took a deep breath, breaking the kiss and keeping his face close while his thumb gently brushed over the skin of her cheek.

"Lena…" He breathed out choking on his words with eyes starting to water looking deeply into her gorgeous dark ones standing in the darkened room on the singular spot where the moonlight created a spotlighting beam and illuminated her like an angel; diamonds of her jewels and tiara sparkling with her every turn and taking his breath away.

"What?" She asked feeling the shift in the electricity between them and seeing the tears in his eyes.

"Somewhere in the middle of this…I fell in love with you." He breathed out in a whispered voice and gave her, a small smile seeing that he took her breath away and she refused to blink as tears surged forward in her eyes. "I'm saying…I love you, Lena…you've become my everything…my reason to get out of bed in the morning…my reason to smile for no reason and laugh again…I can't imagine my life without you now…I love you."

Lena gasped and inhaled sharply with the tears flooding out of her eyes and turned away from his grasp quickly with heart about to explode and hand going to her mouth at a loss as to what to do.

"Hey," He swallowed hard reaching for her arm and making her look at him again forcing a smile out with the pain in his heart knowing she wasn't going to return the sentiment and having expected that, but it still stung. "You don't have to say anything…it was just something I had to say…I don't expect anything out of you in return…or anything between us to be different…I just want you to know…that I love you." He did give her a genuine smile wiping the tears gently falling from her eyes and leaned in, kissing her lips with the same gentleness. He only hoped that in time, his love would open the door to her heart just as her mother had hinted it would.

Lena cried softly against his lips, finding herself wanting to tell him something, but couldn't force herself to say anything…She saw the flash in his eyes that he was hurt but accepted that she wouldn't reciprocate his feelings. The tenderness and love she felt in his kiss and every touch, the way his eyes smiled at hers and then, "I love you…" He repeated in a whisper as if now, he'd said it aloud and couldn't stop. She found herself wrapping her hands around the back of his neck and head and pulling his kiss deeper and their bodies closer.

"Aye! I'm sorry." Nadia gasped when she opened the door with Nikolas and Elektra in tow and saw her sister and Arman lip-locked and pressed together. "I just…need to get Elektra's other bag." She smiled at Lena apologetically and took note of her sister's tear trails she was currently trying to wipe away. The fact that she had caught them in a kiss meant that Lena was okay essentially but she still hated to see her in tears. "I'm really sorry." Nadia whispered to them both again while Arman walked towards them with the baby's other bag that had been in the chair beside he and Lena.

"It's okay." He smiled at Nadia kissing her cheek with eyes smiling and acknowledging Nikolas before kissing Elektra's little cheek and neck while the baby reached for him gurgling. "Are you going to bed, Sunshine?" He asked taking her from Nadia when it was clear that was whom the baby wanted at the moment. He'd called her _Sunshine_ ever since learning her name's meaning of 'sun.' He blew into her neck making it rumble against her skin and Elektra clap and laugh with a squeal.

"She just loves you." Nadia shook her head with a smile at how at ease Arman was with her baby.

"Well I just love her!" He smiled making an animated face when Elektra clapped her hands over his cheeks, "How can you not love someone so beautiful?" He asked with a smile kissing her neck again and making the baby throw her head back in laughter.

"Everyone says she looks just like Lena and Mama at the same age." Nadia smiled running her hands over her daughter's dark curly hair.

"I agree from the photos I've seen of them." Arman smiled with eyes flashing over to Lena who was frozen in place watching him with the baby and unable to stop the sound of her Sensai's words from sliding through her mind every time she saw Arman with Elektra…_the birth of another in her future_. Combining that information with the sight of him, and his declaration of loving her just moments ago threatened to overwhelm her at any moment and tears rolled from her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Nadia stepped forward finally asking when her concern got the best of her seeing the tears still falling from her sister's eyes.

"Yes…why don't you and Nikolas head back to the ball and I'll put her to sleep? I haven't gotten to spend much one on one time with her in the past couple of weeks." Lena smiled brightly wiping her tears and stepping forward to take the baby who eagerly reached for her, from Arman.

"Are you sure?" Nadia asked with a delighted smile, loving to put her baby to sleep but always felt her heart skip a beat when Lena wanted to; seeing her sister with a baby and a glimpse at what she would have been like as a mother with her own baby…and hopefully would again someday.

"Of course, I love spending time with her." Lena smiled nuzzling Elektra's little head and neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent. "Go ahead…go enjoy the party."

Nadia kissed Lena with a smile and then her baby repeatedly and Nikolas did the same in the same sequence wrapping his arm around Nadia's back with a smile before they left Lena with Arman to put their baby to sleep.

Elektra yawned widely rubbing her chubby little fists over her tired eyes signaling it was indeed time to go to sleep and making both Lena and Arman 'awe' at her cuteness. Without anything being said, he searched through the baby bag and found what he presumed to be her pajamas and handed them to Lena with a fresh diaper allowing her to change the baby and wanting to watch her in action anyway. Watching the Tsarevicha in complete regalia changing a squirming baby into her pajamas caused him to smile and laugh on several occasions.

When she cradled Elektra with her blanket against her in her arms, the baby started nuzzling her tired face into Lena's chest with eyes shut and Lena laughed holding her hand out for the bottle Arman rescued from the bag. "Sorry, Darling but I'm not your Mama…only Mama has the good stuff." She laughed softly with Arman chuckling beside her and handed her the bottle.

"I thought Nadia said she was weaning her?" Arman asked quietly in a whisper seeing the baby's eyes fall shut sucking happily on her bottle and falling asleep to the sway of Lena's arms and upper body.

"She is…but instead of quitting cold turkey per say, they're down to two times a day of nursing her, with bottles in between. Of course, Elektra still prefers her Mama to the substitute though." Lena answered him with a soft smile looking at her niece and trailing her finger lightly over her little face and ear.

"That's because she's a brilliant baby…" He laughed softly holding her little footy covered foot in his hand sticking out from under Lena's arm. "I wouldn't want a bottle after the real-deal either."

"Are you checking out my sisters' boobs?" Lena asked with a teasing smile and flash in her eyes startling him.

"No!" He whisper shouted in defense with face reddening and shaking his head, "I'm just saying…from my own experience with your own very nice…" He waved in the direction of her chest that was heaved up with nice cleavage in her gown, "That if I was a baby in this family I'd want the real deal…and don't make that sound perverted because you could!" He laughed pointing at her with a teasing smile of embarrassment, "God, I keep saying things tonight that don't sound like they should. I'm quite certain I insulted your mother, the Tsar of Russia, earlier this evening and now I'm talking about how nice it would be to be a baby able to have access to your fabulous chest all the time." He shook his head running his hand through his hair with nervous laughter sitting beside Lena on the sofa.

"What did you say to insult my mother?" Lena asked with soft smile while still rocking and feeding Elektra. "And you do have access to my chest all the time." She waggled her eyebrows at him with a dangerous gleam in her eyes that made his groin tighten instantly with possibility in that look.

"I just said that I wasn't nervous dancing with you, as I was with her, because she is the Tsar and that's a bit overwhelming…she said I looked okay dancing with you, the future Tsar and I said…that was because you're you…and that you're overwhelming in a good way…as if I was implying she wasn't overwhelming in a good way I was rambling like such an idiot." He shook his head with a sigh again while his eyes flashed up with Lena's deep giggling amusement. "Being that your mother, Her Majesty, is so kind…she simply smiled and let me off the hook by keeping the conversation moving."

"I wouldn't worry too much about believing you insulted her. Her entire life, men have been tongue tied around her and even my father still is on occasion." Lena smiled proudly thinking about her mother's ability to do such, "I'm sure she wasn't insulted at all."

"Well, she certainly doesn't look like she's seventy." Arman shook his head with a smile, "She looks better then most women in their' forties…she's just gorgeous and only seems to be getting more so as the years pass…like she's in the reverse aging process."

"Those are '_thee famous and fabulous'_ abnormal genetics of _The Chosen One_ working for her. Self-sustaining cell regeneration has excellent perks." Lena raised her eyebrows with a soft laugh, "My father made a comment earlier this morning at breakfast about the fact that she looks so much younger then him now and she asked him teasing if he'd rather she dyed her hair gray since she hasn't a one on her head," Lena smiled proudly, "And he laughed, saying no…he loves her just the way she is and that most men his age have their second mid-life crisis about now looking for a woman drastically younger to keep them young and my mother already fits that description for him…so he's quite happy and proud and she's keeping him young too in order to keep up with her."

"She is remarkable…your aunt and sister Sydney, too…none of them look like anyone else their age…its just amazing. You're all so very beautiful." He smiled softly reaching up to push the single strand of hair fallen behind her ear. "Those amazing anomalies in your genetics…timeless beauty." He added with a soft whisper, leaning in to kiss her lips lightly. For one moment, he could allow himself to pretend she was his wife and this was their baby asleep in her arms.

They sat in silence until Elektra was finished eating and asleep and Lena put her down carefully in the crib in the room there just for that purpose and smiled watching her niece roll over and tuck her legs up under her, just like she used to do as a baby and covered her with the soft blanket, whispering her goodnight softly to her and then smiling down at her before leaving the room with Arman, their fingers linked and smiling brightly at the bodyguard posted for Elektra.

* * *

_***O Holy Night***_

"We have an announcement." Nicholas smiled at the end of the evening in front of his family and their friends before everyone went to bed, his hand held out and clasping Isabella's with a raging smile, "I've asked Isa to marry me and she's said yes." Tears and squeals immediately erupted from everyone especially Irina and Lana having feeling this was coming and then listened as he went on, "And we've already decided when…Christmas Eve."

"A year from now…" Katya smiled with happy tears looking at the adorable couple in front of them looking so gorgeous together in his Imperial uniform and she in a gorgeous Russian style gown.

"No, this Christmas Eve in two weeks…we don't want to wait." Nicholas laughed seeing all their mouths drop open, "We know its last minute and because of that it won't be an enormous deal as it probably should be but we like the idea of it being smaller and more intimate with just family and those we love dearly in attendance…those we normally spend Christmas Eve with."

Everyone knew why they'd chosen Christmas Eve, it had always been Antony's favorite and also the first real holiday that the families started celebrating together when they were just children; years of love and laughter with history on that night and they could not have picked a more perfect evening to get married.

"It's going to be a gorgeous wedding…" Sophia smiled thinking about how magical it would be at the International Christmas service they always attended with the sparkling tiny lights everywhere and decorated trees with children's choirs singing the hymns they all loved and adored and the story of baby Jesus's birth all in one night.

They arrived that night as they always did, by horse and sleigh only this time when they stepped out to head into the church those who were present for the ceremony and the regular church service who were also invited, gasped in the beauty before them. The women in the bridal party all wore fabulous long gowns with glorious shawls with large hoods lined with white fur to protect them from the cold and snow. They were absolutely Storybook in appearance.

All of the men and boys in the family stood up with Nicholas and Jack was his Best Man while a great majority of the women stood up with Isabella having grown up with the girls in the family and with Lena as her Maid of Honor and Nadia as her Matron of Honor.

Everyone cried and awed at the cuteness when it was Jack who walked down the aisle with Elektra who was the flower girl having just learned to walk on her wobbly legs days before the ceremony and her bright smile as she held onto her Papa's finger was just too precious for words.

They had prepared Lena that they had planned on putting a blown up picture of Antony on an isle to stand in line with the rest of the groomsmen to honor his memory and that he would have been there as her brother and his best friend. Lena agreed as it seemed a natural thing to do in such a circumstance in honoring the loved ones at weddings who'd gone on before and couldn't be with them today but nothing could have prepared her for making her way down the aisle just before Isabella and seeing Antony's smiling face in the picture among the brilliance of the dim lit Christmas ceremony and the tears flowed rapidly from her eyes even as she smiled and marched on.

Arman watched with a heavy heart that in the moments Lena wasn't doing her duties as the Maid of Honor she'd zoned out in staring at the photograph across the way of Antony and the tears never ceased falling. She was undoubtedly thinking about the fact that this could have been their wedding, should have been…while Arman was thinking about one of their own, seeing her up there so gorgeous in this environment and imagining her becoming his bride. It was heartbreaking for him to see her so upset when he loved her so much, and could do nothing for her.

To his great surprise, Lana sitting next to him in the pew reached over and grasped his hand in hers, squeezing it in silent support with a soft smile. She too had been watching Lena staring at Antony's picture and in turn, Arman staring at Lena and the tears in his eyes along with the love and feeling of helplessness. "She loved him…very much." She leaned over whispering in Arman's ear with her own tears starting to fall again, "But she loves you now…I know she does…and I know my son would be happy for her to have found love again." She smiled at him kissing his cheek quickly and watching as his silent tears finally fell.

When they returned to the palace for the reception that night, Lena had disappeared as she did every Christmas Eve after the accident and Arman felt his stomach role and pitch with nervousness as he sat quietly on the end of the sofa in the throne room in front of the massive fire while everyone buzzed with excitement around him.

Irina's heart clenched at seeing him and she sighed knowing exactly why Lena wasn't by his side as she always seemed to be these days and knew how hard it had been on her during the ceremony, but she also knew that her daughter loved the blonde haired man before her now.

**_*O Come All Ye Faithful*_**

Irina walked over to him quietly with a soft smile and extended her hand, "Come and take a walk with me?" She asked with a sweet voice and saw his momentary flash of surprise but he accepted by taking her hand and standing. Without saying anything, she found her gorgeous shawl again and he his coat and the two slipped out of the palace into the clear winter night.

He had offer her his arm and she took it, linking hers around with his before stuffing hers' back into the fur hand band pouch that matched her beautiful shawl and he his hand into his sailor's pea coat. They walked in silence in the white powdery snow past the lake for a while before Irina spoke, "I know that you told her you loved her…she told me." Irina smiled up at him and his eyes flashed to hers before looking back down at the snow and struggling to blink back his tears, "Have faith in her love for you…don't get discouraged." She sighed softly, "I see her struggle and I feel it…she loves you and wants a life with you and at the same time…still loves Antony…and feels that if she loves you she'll somehow betray him or lose that love in her heart for him…she's torn and she's struggling with what to do because she knows…she's already in love with you…and doesn't know what to do…she doesn't want to lose him…but she also doesn't want to lose you." Her tear filled eyes flashed up to his.

"I don't want her to stop loving him…I don't expect her to…just as I know I'll never be able to stop loving Angelina and what she meant to me and my life," He sniffled rapidly wiping his falling tears he was embarrassed were falling in front of the Tsar. "I just don't know what to do…I feel so helpless in helping her…when I see the sadness in her eyes…it breaks my heart and I want to hold her…but that's the last thing she wants at times…feeling guilty because of me, I know that…I can see it and feel it at times." He chewed on the inside of his lip looking away as they ducked into the brilliantly lit tree path, "I love her…I really do…and I want a life with her…but I don't want her to feel guilty either. How can I tell her its okay to love us both and betray neither of us of in doing so? And not sound like an ass? Sorry…" He quickly apologized through his tears for his wording again and Irina smiles squeezing his arm not to worry about it with tears running from her own eyes, "I know how much he loved her…and I don't want to say I love her just as much because I know that there is no way to really quantify love properly and its all different…the way I loved Ang was all consuming at times and as much as I loved her, I love Lena the same…but differently if that makes any sense."

"It does." Irina nodded softly agreeing.

"Loving Lena the way I do now…I don't feel guilty anymore for feeling the way I do…I don't feel like I'm betraying Angelina by loving Lena." He reached up and wiped at his tears as his voice trickled off.

"You just needed your own time to come through that…to realize you had nothing to feel guilty about. Lena is just a little behind you in coming to that realization," She gave him a soft smile of support reaching up to wipe her own tears, "They met when Antony saved her life at five years old…the two were inseparable their entire lives and had a baby together…that's a lot to reconcile and let go of. I'm not saying that your pain and loss are any less than hers'…please don't think that's what I'm saying…" She shook her head with a rush of new tears and sighed, "Its just what I'm trying to say is that where you lost one person you loved with your whole heart, she lost two…and she's not only trying to make it okay for herself to love you…but also make it okay for herself in the idea of a future with you. A future with more children…children she wants but is feeling guilty as if she will betray her lost baby boy with the. Am I making any sense?" Irina's eyes flashed over to him finding this talk more difficult than she thought with so much emotion flooding through her with her own memories and feeling for his loss as well.

"Yes," He nodded softly with a pained smile biting the inside of his lip again, "I've thought about all this too…its just…I'm scared I'm going to lose her. Scared that she's going to push me away…" His voice trembled thinking about the way already this evening after the ceremony that Lena had pulled away from him.

"I don't think she will…she just needs more time to work through it all. Have faith in her and in you…" She smiled softly looking up at him with tear filled eyes, "And hold her even when you think she might not want you too…the worst that can happen is she pushes you away…"

She smiled at him again, "You opened the door for her…she sees the other side and right now she's teetering at the threshold…if you keep the door open, I know she'll follow you…in time, she will." She nodded with certainty she felt in her heart and then stopped walking turning her head with a soft nod towards the ruins and to where Lena was kneeling in the snow illuminated by the moonlight before the gravestone. "Just keep the faith and wait for her to catch up." She whispered against his ear and then kissed his cheek squeezing his arm before leaving him there while she walked back to the palace.

**_* Stay*_**

Lena felt his presence before she saw him and turned to her great surprise to see Arman having thought it would be her mother as it usually was on this night. The tears in her eyes only increased in their magnitude with an inhaled sob when she looked away. Arman had never been here, never seen this place or their grave and having him here now only added to her guilt at the mixing of the men in her life past and present.

Arman felt instantly guilty that he'd intruded on her space and time and panted in rapid breaths as his heart raced at incredible speeds, his voice a broken cry of a whisper, "I'm sorry…" He apologized and Lena's head whipped back up to look at him, saw the glimmering of tears tracks on his face and then she quickly looked away with another cry staring at the headstone.

The sound of softly crunching snow as he walked away caused her heart to pound wildly, looking back at his retreating figure and the slump in his shoulders and then to headstone and back again feeling torn in two. Somewhere in side her, a voice was screaming in her heart that they would always be there but Arman was leaving in the here and now and forced her to her feet. "I love you…" She whispered rapidly with raging tears kissing her fingers and swiping it across Antony's name on the engraved marble before tearing away and moving rapidly after Arman.

Chasing after him in silence she realized that he must have had his own 'place' and space with a grave and stone for Angelina and she found herself wanting to see it as well…to incorporate that part of Arman as well because Angelina was a part of him and always would be. The thought brought forth more raging tears and a strangled cry.

_"Wait!"_ Lena cried out when she was a hundred feet behind him and he stopped suddenly and turned around with tears dripping from his chin with eyes red and eyelashes freezing in the frigid temps. "Wait…" She called out again and closed the distance, stopping for a moment looking at him before throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. "I'm sorry," She breathed against his face with a soft cry when they came up for air with him still holding her to his chest. "I'm sorry." She repeated feeling horribly for making him feel so badly, just leaving him alone all night when all she saw in his eyes for her was love.

"You have nothing to be sorry for…I understand." He cried softly kissing her lips again and then peppering her face with kisses taking away her tears. "I love you…all of you and all your heart…you have nothing to be sorry for." He kissed her again in a lingering kiss and she wrapped her arms around him again, holding tightly.

They walked back together in quiet silence after walking together for over an hour around the grounds and by the time they came back to the palace, it was very late with most everyone having gone to bed already.

"I should get going." He shrugged with a soft smile standing at the front door of the palace having walked her back. "Merry Christmas, Lena." He whispered leaning in and kissing her again softly before turning back to get his car.

"No…stay?" Lena asked rapidly swallowing hard and he turned around slowly, "I want you to stay…Please, stay with me?" Her eyes filled with tears again, not wanting to let him go.

"Are you sure?" He asked walking back towards her slowly. He'd never stayed with her at the palace. If they spent the entire night together it was always at his apartment.

"I'm sure…that I want to wake up with you beside me on Christmas Morning." She gave him a soft smile holding out her hand, "Come on, Sailor."

He smiled with a soft nod and took her hand, following her inside the palace that was glowing inside the foyer with the lights off except for the enormous Christmas trees beside the staircase and lining the railings with the moonlight cascading in. She led him quietly up the marble staircase by the hand and both missed the smiles of Irina with Jack behind her watching them go up, having come out of the kitchen on their way to bed as well and caught them entering the palace and waited in the shadows.

"One step at a time." Irina whispered with Jacks' face pressed against hers' watching Lena walking up the staircase one step at a time with Arman behind her and Jack understood exactly what his wife was saying. One step at a time, Lena was moving forward and it wasn't easy but she was on her way.

Lena closed the door behind them and Arman stood nervously in the center of the room having never before been in her bedroom and took in everything around him. A telescope and the adorable little Russian style dollhouse in the corner near the balcony doors that was from her childhood, the gorgeous bookshelf with display case and lights covering one wall and inhabited by everything from delicate Faberge eggs, to a cluster of her solid Gold Olympic Medal collection perfectly displayed draping over each other and beside each other from the three separate Olympics with her track uniform tops and numbers beneath and her martial arts belts with her sabers, targets and arrows. He didn't have to ask how many as everyone knew the astonishing number she'd won in her life, thirty-nine, though the singular medal on a pedestal of its own was from the Munich Games of 1972…the Gold medal her mother would have won and the one that Lena traded her for her own Munich Gold. Two pictures behind it made him smile seeing the profile picture of a very young Irina crossing the Finish Line of the 1500m and in the same striking profile form, Lena at about the same age crossing for her own win.

Above them a row of her numerous degrees and academic achievements were displayed showing her love of learning and utter brilliance holding Masters Degrees in Molecular Biology and Aeronautical Engineering, a Ph.D. in International Relations officially making her _Dr. Lena Bristow_, adding another title to her already impressive list and about to complete her second Ph.D. in Quantum Physics when she returned from her third scheduled mission into space in the Spring.

Below those impressive feats was a shelve full of things dealing with her love of flight and space and his smile grew seeing a picture of her wearing her tight olive green flight suit with aviator glasses covering her eyes and long hair flying wildly behind her as she exited the cockpit of the new Super MiG-47 she'd just landed on the deck of a Russian Aircraft Carrier during her flight training.

"You and your need for speed." He chuckled softly, "I'll have to get you to take me up in a MiG sometime." He spoke quietly with a smile still looking at the photo behind the glass. "You do make science look very sexy, Space Critter." He smiled more widely with eyes landing on her official portraits for her two previous missions to space, wearing her space suit with helmet beneath her arm and the flags of Imperial Russia and the United States proudly displayed behind her. She looked incredibly sexy in all her various uniforms and his smile widened even further in seeing another photo of Lena, this time looking very 'cute' in her spacesuit hoping around on one leg in the powdery dust of the Moon with Earth in the background and he shook his head in utter amazement at how _amazing_ she really was.

**_*Together *_**

Lena never answered him and when the fireplace in the corner suddenly came on and Arman turned around and sucked in sharp breath at seeing her already completely naked and stepping out of her gown in a pool on the floor. Her eyes were held fast to his as she reached up and removed her tiara and placed it on the nightstand beside her bed and then released her hair pinned up, causing it to spill wildly over her shoulder.

He swallowed hard holding her eyes and felt the tears coming back to his own as he reached up and started removing his own clothing and inching towards her.

When he let his pants fall to the floor and he stepped out of them, now completely naked before her, Lena stepped forward with her own tears pooling and closed the distance completely never taking her eyes from his. With her chest pressed into his she told him what she could not say and let him see it in her eyes and feel it in the beat of her heart.

_'I love you, too'_ was clearly sent through to him and he inhaled a soft cry feeling it and seeing it and then remember what her sister had said about finding yourself pressed chest to chest with Lena and what she's telling you with that. This was her way of telling him she loved him and the fat tears finally fell from her eyes when she tilted her head softly and leaned in, her lips closing gently with his upper lip first and then tilting her head the other way and kissing his lower, all with her eyes held to his and hearts pressed together.

She loved him, she knew she did and couldn't imagine her life without him now and when she looked into his eyes, she saw the promise of tomorrow. Arman completed her in ways she hadn't known possible or that were empty before he came into her life…even before Antony and as much as that thought pained her, it relieved her because he was not taking Antony's place, but had his own…they had their own love that could not be measured against hers' with Antony or against Arman's with Angelina. His hands skating up her sides and across her back broke her thoughts feeling their bodies sink slowly to the floor in front of the fire and onto the massive rug of white polar bear fur that had been in her family since Alexei's birth as the last Tsarevich before the Revolution. The impeccable restoration of it before her own birth and its timely upkeep kept the fur a luxuriously soft place she now found herself being laid back upon while Arman settled over her body.

His hand slid down her side while his mouth left hers' and ventured south, caressing every inch of her flesh with his soft kiss before finding her lips again and poised himself to enter her.

"I love you, Lena." He whispered with intent eyes blurring with tears with his chest pressed against hers and faces centimeters apart as he thrust up and into her, becoming one and complete once more. They stilled for a moment with pounding hearts dancing wildly back and forth with each other and with Lena's kiss, he started their slow dance of showing each other the love they felt for one another in perfect silhouetted, unison form against the licking orange flames of the fire behind them.

Their love making session lasted well into the morning hours moving eventually from the floor and into her bed before collapsing with exhaustion; Lena draped over his torso with her chest pressed to his and body like a blanket with legs tangled under the covers.


	70. Chapter 70

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole, The Beach Song by Hans Zimmer, To Make You Feel My Love by Adele, Together by The xx, Cosmic Love by Florence & The Machine, The Beginning of The Partnership **_**by Stephen Warbeck from Shakespeare in Love Soundtrack**_**, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy (Junior Boys Mix) **_**by Sarah McLachlan & Junior Boys**

* * *

SEVENTY

o

**_*The Christmas Song*_**

Arman woke first and smiled at the weight on his body, realizing Lena had stayed there for the remainder of the night, with her chest pressed to his and face snuggled down against his neck with her warm even breath, consistent in its pace as she remained asleep. His fingers on her lower back danced lightly in the dip of her spine while he looked around the room, smiling when he saw the fire still going beside them in the fireplace and the snow falling in flurries outside the balcony windows creating the perfect Christmas morning and he could imagine no greater present, then the one she had given to him with her own declaration of love and waking up with her now in this moment.

The angle they were lying in across her massive bed afforded him the ability to see for the first time, the photos on the nightstand beside her glittering Imperial tiara. The first photo was of she and Antony at about five years old and apparently taken just after they met because Lena still sported a black eye and split lip from the abuse at the hands of her kidnappers. The second was of Lena dressed like Pocahontas and Antony as her John Smith from a costume ball when they were teenagers and the last was of them in a completely candid shot from the Moscow Olympics where she'd just won the marathon and had jumped into his arms with her long legs wrapped around his waist and their foreheads pressed together with raging smiles. The love between them was obvious.

A flash of Antony in those same clothes standing in the elevator when he first met them, just minutes after this photo had been taken crossed through his mind and brought the prickle of tears, remembering how deliriously happy the two had been in the elevator that day, and his fingers stopped dancing to drop his whole hand across her flesh holding her to him protectively and then swallowed hard seeing the last two images.

The first was a picture of her mother lying in her hospital bed in the CIA cell most likely but was too close up to tell though it had to be, he thought, as Lena was such a tiny new baby and her mother was wearing a hospital type gown. Her mother's eyes were closed lying back on the slanted position of the bed, asleep with her cheek nuzzled against the head of the baby on her chest with Lena's angelic little perfect face facing the same direction towards the camera.

The second photograph was almost the same as the first with a mother and child in a hospital bed in the same position only it was Lena asleep with her cheek nuzzled against the little head of her own baby and he swallowed his sob with eyes flooding in tears realizing that this gorgeous baby was not asleep like she was in the picture beside it on her mother's chest. No pictures had ever been released of baby Antony and he'd never seen one anywhere in the palace either until now. She was holding her baby almost like he was holding her now with his own cheek pressed against her head as she snuggled against his chest and could feel her heart beating against his…something she never felt with her child as his heart had stopped before he was born.

Lena had woken feeling the warm tears dripping on her forehead and when she realized what they were, looked over to where his sight might be and fell upon her nightstand with the photos of her 'Antonys.' Her heartbeat and breathing changed instantly and Arman knew she was awake.

He stay quiet for a moment realizing she must have known what he was looking at with the photos in their direct line of sight.

"He was a really beautiful baby," Arman smiled through a choked voice filled with tears staring at the picture of her son with his tiny but perfect little features and dark tuff of Mohawk type hair just like her own as a baby. "Perfect." He added in a whisper holding her more tightly and kissing the top of her head feeling her own warm tears now falling on his chest.

"My father took both of those." Lena offered with a soft smile choosing to think of the beautiful nature of the pictures instead of the sadness. "I had no idea the one of me and Antony existed until a year after…they didn't think I could handle it until then…and they were right, I wouldn't have been able to." She reached up to wipe her eyes, "My mother gave it to me when I returned from the moon the first time."

"It's a gorgeous picture…they both are. I think your father missed his calling as a photographer." He smiled with a soft laugh. "Did he take the others, too?"

"No, my Aunt Katya did. She's the real photographer in our family…she gets that from my Babushka Anastasia." She smiled softly looking over the photographs that were really amazing.

"And all that time in front of the camera herself as a model I'm sure helped," He smiled running his hand down her naked back and pulling the blanket up over them more when he felt the chilly shiver run through her. "I love the one of you and Antony on the sit-n-spin." His smile grew, as it was truly a cute picture of adorably beautiful children.

"It was the day after my parents found Nadia and I and brought Antony home with them…" Lena smiled softly wiping at the new tears, "It was taken not long after he was reunited with his own family."

Arman rolled them so she was under him after a few minutes of silence, while he propped himself up on an elbow looking down at her with a smile, "Merry Christmas, Space Critter." He smiled with a soft laugh, leaning down slowly and kissing her lips and she responded in kind with the electric sparks flaring again unable to get enough of each other.

"Merry Christmas, Sailor." She smiled up at him wrapping her arms around his neck and back pulling him closer and looping her legs around his and crashing his chest into hers, just what she wanted.

* * *

_February 15th, 2025_

Arman slipped out of bed quietly, smiling over at Lena lying on her stomach asleep with head turned away from him and her long hair fanned out behind her making him smile. He leaned over placing a soft kiss to her naked back between her shoulders before pivoting around heading towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Lena asked with a groggy voice, his kiss having awoken her and now watching his retreating form when she turned her head. Her parent's Anniversary party last night went well into the early morning hours and then their own 'after-party' fun lasted well beyond that. According to the clock beside her bed, they'd only just gone to sleep two hours ago and he should be sleeping in with her.

"I have to go to Moscow." He answered her softly with small smile leaning over again to kiss her lips good morning.

"Moscow…why?" Lena asked with a furrowed brow of confusion with her mind still foggy from the lack of sleep and alcohol in her system.

"The accident was three years ago today…" Arman answered her quietly thinking of that horrible day, "I go to her grave every year on this day."

Lena swallowed hard with immediate tears in her eyes. Never had she asked and never had he said which day in February the accident happened on. She had the ability to visit Antony's grave all the time having him buried so close but Angelina was buried in Moscow where she was from and near her own family. She knew Arman must have visited her grave but this was the first time she was actually hearing it. Lena nodded slowly in response and paying no attention to the tears threatening to fall in her eyes not out of jealousy but of understanding.

"She always admired you," Arman smiled softly at Lena, "Thought the world of you and talked about you quite often…how amazing she thought you were and all that you'd accomplished…going into space and what your genetics did for the world of medicine. She went to medical school because her little brother had Diabetes really badly…was always in the hospital because they could never seem to get a handle on it. She was never able to see him cured but was hopeful he would be, after you came back from the moon…and he was…because of you." His eyes held a smile through his tears and watched the silent streams break the damns and flood from Lena's eyes. "It's interesting isn't it? How connected our lives all are, really? The world really isn't such a big place."

Lena didn't know what to say and was having to concentrate on breathing to hear all of this, to find this information out. She'd never really thought about Angelina '_knowing'_ her or what the woman might think of her. To hear that she admired her and to know that Angelina's little brother was saved from diabetes with the cure from Lena's genes rocked her to the core. Angelina lost her life just months before her brother was cured and saved from losing his and by her genes…the woman who now had a life with the man that Angelina once did. The world was entirely small in the grand scheme of things and the sensei's words about how Lena's life would have such an impact and why she mattered were ringing in her ears.

"She used to listen to the song you wrote for Antony incessantly," He laughed softly with a smile, "She thought it was incredibly romantic." His smile softened as he quieted a moment and then leaned forward, kissing Lena's lips softly before puling away, "In another life, I think you could have been friends." He smiled again softly with new tears in his eyes and a quiet voice as he made his way to the shower.

'_And you with Antony._' Her mind responded in an instant, knowing it in her heart to be true. She felt herself wanting to go with him, to not let him be alone on this difficult day but not knowing if he'd want her there. He'd never gone to Antony's grave with her…only that one night on Christmas Eve he stood off in the distance waiting for her. 'If he'd wanted me to come, he'd have asked.' She told herself extracting her body out of the twisted sheets reaching for her robe and then stopped. If she couldn't be with him to support him later in the day, she could at least now…offer whatever comfort she could now and decided to join him in the shower offering her quiet presence to reassure him he wasn't alone. She slipped into the glass behind him in the steam and smiled at him softly when he turned around under the spray. The tears raining down his face mixed with the water on his skin but the redness in his eyes told her he was still crying and she stepped forward to hold him, hugging him tightly and saying nothing with her mouth, only her heart pressed against his.

"Would you come with me?" He asked quietly not wanting to be without her on this day, needing the comfort her arms around him provided.

"Are you certain?" She asked quietly with choked tears in her voice.

"Yes," He answered kissing her head.

"Okay…" She answered just as softly with a nod looking into his eyes when she pulled away and they continued to shower in silence and then dressed.

* * *

Moscow, Russia

Lena felt the flip and roll in her stomach exiting the car and looking over the soft rolling hills of the suburban cemetery.

"You go ahead first." She motioned Arman with a soft teary smile knowing he'd want some time alone with Angelina. She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around herself in the cold, crisp air, watching him walk off with the bouquet of flowers in hand and hearing the soft crunch of snow beneath his feet.

Her breath caught in a soft gasp with tears falling from her eyes when she saw him kneel not far from where they'd stopped the car. Angelina's grave was beneath a gorgeous old tree now naked of its leaves but in the spring and summer she could imagine provided a gorgeous setting for a final resting place.

He lay the beautiful bouquet of purple flowers before the black tombstone with his back to Lena as she stood by the car with Max off to the side and a few others from her security detail waiting in the vehicle that followed them.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed or how long she'd been staring out into space when she felt the presence beside her and turned her head to stare at the people now standing beside her. A woman with a warm teary-eyed smile was standing just beside her and a man who looked to be her husband from the way they were holding hands beside her and then three boys between the ages of twenty and twelve Lena guessed were lined up just after.

The distinct blue eyes and dark hair, the facial features that were so similar left little wonder as to whom these people were; Angelina's family.

"Hello, Your Highness," her mother smiled at Lena carrying her own bouquet of purple flowers, Angelina's favorite color.

"Hello." Lena answered her softly with a tear filled smile of her own and quiet voice, "You must be Angelina's mother?"

"Yes." The woman nodded sadly with eyes tracking over to where Arman was still kneeling with back to them completely unaware. "She was my first and my only daughter…I miss her very much." She reached up to wipe her tears, "I know I'm not the only one…he loved her so much too…she was fortunate in her life, to know that kind of love."

"He loves her still…" Lena added softly in barely a whisper and felt her hand being grabbed and squeezed in support and comfort.

"Thank you, Your Highness…I don't know if Arman told you or not…but you saved my son's life," she smiled down at the youngest of the sons with his jet black hair and aqua blue eyes looking nervously at Lena and swallowing hard at being near the Tsarevicha and hearing his mother speak of her saving his life while in her presence. "There is no way I'll ever be able to say thank you enough for giving him his life back."

"You don't have to thank me," Lena smiled at her with her own dripping tears and then to the boy.

"He is a very fortunate young man to have you," Angelina's mother smiled at Lena again and then nodded towards Arman. "We were so worried for him after Ang's accident…I've seen him smiling again on the television when he's out with you…heard it in his voice when he calls to check in…it makes me smile and I know in my heart, my daughter would be smiling too…she always had a great admiration for you…thought you so courageous for surviving your own tragic loss the way you did…" Her voice tapered off with emotion as she squeezed Lena's hand, "It's so ironic that you and he would end up this way…and yet it isn't…it seems like fate, like this is the way it's supposed to be." She smiled softly and a moment of silence fell between them. "May I hug you, Your Highness?" She asked with a timid voice and smile.

Lena was slightly startled by the request not used to having people 'ask' if they could hug her and hearing this woman wanted to.

"Oh course," she smiled softly with raging tears in her eye and hugged the woman first wanting to hug her in turn.

While she was holding tightly to the woman in a warm embrace of silent tears, Arman had stood and turned around now frozen in place to see Lena hugging Angelina's mother. He'd felt nervous and anxious at first, with the thoughts of what they'd think or if they'd be upset or angry that he'd brought his new love to visit Angelina's grave with him but the teary smiles and the way her mother cupped Lena's face speaking and saying something he could only make out as a 'thank you' brought a new surge of tears to his eyes that they weren't angry with him or her for being there.

He'd clearly remembered the somber talks they'd had when Lena's accident first happened, sitting around the dinner table eating with Angelina's family. How tragic it was for the whole country and thinking about how hard it must have been for her and then their pride and joy to see her venturing into space and the smile once again on Lena's face, how much they all admired her and now…here was Angelina's mother hugging the Tsarevicha they'd all been speaking of, in the flesh and crying with her over the loss of her daughter. Life was incredibly unpredictable and surprising at times.

Lena moved to hug Angelina's father and then brothers, hugging the last one extremely tightly and sharing a large smile with him when he thanked her personally for his cure while blushing madly to be hugged and kissed by the '_girl of his dreams'_ who, Arman and Angelina had both at one time, had a good time teasing her little brother about, his infatuation with the Tsarevicha Lena and the pictures he'd hung all over in his room of her.

Arman walked over and hugged them all hello with more tears being shed and invitations being extended. Angelina's family wanted Arman and Lena to join them for lunch after they had a turn visiting their daughter and sisters' grave and taking Lena out for lunch they insisted, was the least they could do for the gift she'd given to their son and family in turn. They shared memories of Angelina with Lena and laughed at happier times and smiled again with excitement in asking Lena about her upcoming mission to the _Lunar Space Station,_ that was rapidly approaching at the end of March, and what fascinating tests and research they would be performing this time. When Lena explained one of the tests they'd be performing on her genetic tissue this time involved getting several different biopsy samples of her heart muscle tissue to measure oxygen saturation was done with a needle the size of the straw in their water glasses while she was conscious, all eyes widened considerably with faces paling at what she was willing to endure for the sake of science, medicine and discovery. Continuing to use her own genetic material and enduring such horrendous pain in hopes of helping others was simply another reason they all fell that much more in love with their beloved Tsarevicha every time they heard of something new she was doing in an effort to contribute to the rest of humanity in sharing her gifts.

Arman sat mostly silent during the conversation with a small smile on his lips that lit his eyes, watching with fascination to see the ease that Lena had with Angelina's family and they with her. He couldn't help but think of how much he really did love her, even when remembering Angelina on this day and sitting with her family. His heart beat with excitement for their future and he only hoped that soon, Lena would be ready and just as excited for that same future together as he was.

The plane ride back to St. Petersburg had been in silence but a comfortable one, holding hands before taking falling asleep on the short flight, still exhausted from the sleepless night before and the emotional toll of today.

"Mama, can I ask you something?" Lena entered her mother's den that evening when they'd returned and Arman had gone back to his apartment. She'd already told her parents all about her trip to Moscow and meeting Angelina's family and now the wheels in her head had been turning with something _'more'_ she could do for the young woman who had meant so much to Arman and her lovely family she'd met today.

"Of course. What would you like to ask me?" Irina asked with a soft smile coming around her desk to sit on the sofa across from the chair Lena took a seat in, giving her child her full attention.

"Can we add another scholarship to the list? Another medical one in Angelina's name?" She asked with tears building in her eyes and speaking with a soft nervous voice. "It's just, hearing about her from her family today, she was truly a remarkable young woman with a passion for medicine and would have been an incredible physician. I think, I'd like to, if we could, give others the chance to fulfill those medical dreams she was never able to…in her name…let her family decide each year whom they give it to but…I don't know, I just want to do something for her…in her memory."

Irina was smiling listening and watching Lena ramble with uncertainty of how to express what she was feeling; her own eyes blinking back tears and sat forward taking Lena's nervous hands into her own. "I think that's a wonderful idea. How about five in Moscow and another five here in St. Petersburg? Would that be okay?"

"More than okay." Lena smiled and her tears finally fell lunging forward to hug her mother, "Thank you, Mama."

"You don't have to thank me, it was your idea…a very kind…and beautiful idea." Irina smiled kissing her daughter's head. "I'll start the paper work tomorrow so the scholarships will be ready to be applied for before the end of this school term."

* * *

It was two weeks later when Arman came home from work to find Lena waiting for him in his apartment already making dinner and smiled at her, walking around the kitchen island and kissing her lips with tears forming.

"Ang's mother called me at work today. She told me about the scholarships and her new job." Arman held her close and kissed her again while gently thumbing her cheek, "She was crying on the phone so overwhelmed with your gesture, that you'd care so much about her daughter and her sons. She said it was like Christmas getting the hand delivered letter from the imperial messenger written to her, by your mother… She told me to tell you, you're a _God sent Angel_ and you have her eternal thanks." His dark eyes smiled with tears at Lena, "Why didn't you tell me about all this?"

"I was planning on it. I just started second guessing myself after asking my mother about doing it…without asking you first…I didn't know if you'd be upset with me or not. I'm sorry." Lena swallowed hard with nervousness.

"Don't be. I can't explain how much this means to me; you really do have the biggest heart, Lena. You're amazing, thank you." He smiled and kissed her lips softly. "The boys are ecstatic with their own scholarships and the idea they can now go to school wherever they want."

"That was my mother's addition. You'll have to thank her for that, I can't take the credit, though I doubt she will either." Lena smiled and reached up to wipe her tears. "They've become '_one of hers'_ now. She'll look after them from now on, the whole family." She swallowed hard knowing that the family who had once been quite settled in their lower-middle income household had struggled before Angelina's death with the massive medical bills from her brother and her father unable to work because of his own disability and Angelina and her mother had tried to provide for the family while putting Angelina' through medical school. Money was extremely tight and especially after their daughter's death.

Lena knew hints of this from what Arman had told her before and after talking to her mother about the scholarships, Irina looked into the matter and paid off all outstanding medical bills, funeral costs which they were still paying for, having wanted their daughter to be buried in a beautiful place in the suburbs instead of the standard city mausoleum, their mortgage on their home and cleared them of all their debt as well. She even went as far as hiring Angelina's mother on as part of her Imperial Office Staff at the Kremlin once she found out the woman had been a Legal Secretary for years and what she was making. Irina had increased her salary by two-thirds in coming to work for her and money would no longer be an issue of stress in their lives.

"Well, I will still thank her, as I am thanking you." Arman kissed her deeply, "Thank you." Smiling with forehead rested against hers' when the kiss was over.

"If you thank my mother like this, I think I'll be jealous and my father would certainly take issue." Lena teased and he burst out laughing burning bright red that he should have known she'd play with his wording.

* * *

**_*The Beach Song*_**

Another two weeks passed and the family celebrated Elektra's first birthday together with Nikolas's entire family coming from Greece for the special occasion.

Nadia was in tears most of the day in disbelief at how quickly time had gone by and her baby was already a year old. Elektra was a gorgeous little girl with dark hair like her father's but most everything else came from her mother's side. The couldn't stop their laughter and smiles at how terribly cute she was digging into her cake with both hands and then plunging her face directly into the creamy frosting, squinting her eyes closed and giggling as she was already quite the comedian.

Nicholas was holding her on the floor while she had fun tearing apart the paper after opening her gifts and smiled with Isabella who nodded at him.

"Lena," he addressed his sister across the massive circle made to watch Elektra' opening her gifts and caught everyone's attention in the process, "We won't be able to make it to your birthday in Los Angeles this fall."

"Why not?" Lena asked with a slanted eyebrow and amused smile at her brother with eyes flashing back and forth between him and Isabella, wondering why he was announcing this now when her birthday wasn't for months to come.

"Isa won't be able to fly then. We'll just have to call and tell you what your birthday present is…a boy or a girl." Nicholas smiled widely while everyone gasped with raging smiles.

"You're pregnant?" Lana gasped over at her daughter who was smiling madly and nodding softly with tears in her eyes.

_"Surprise!"_ Isabella smiled and her mother lunged over across the sofa to hug her crying.

"The baby's due on my birthday?" Lena asked with a soft smile and breathless tears of awe and Nicholas nodded _'yes._'

"Yes, so I guess its kind of Mama and Dad's extended Anniversary gift, too." Nicholas smirked flashing his eyes to his mother and father while Weiss, Vaughn and Kendall all burst into hysterical laughter at the realization another baby was created on their anniversary. "Happy Anniversary." He smiled and Irina cried with tears of joy, leaping forward in her own right to hug her son.

"When did you find out?" Lucious asked getting choked up as well and stunned at the same time.

"Yesterday… we weren't planning on having a family just yet…it just sort of happened." Isabella shrugged with a soft smile.

"I just, _sort of happened,_ too." Lena smiled through her tears making everyone laugh hysterically again.

"What is it with you people and that day?" Kendall shook his head with a large smile.

"Well, it could have been the early morning hours of the next day too. It was quite late by the time we finished going over those plans…" Irina smirked at him before turning her smoking eyes to Jack with a smile while Kendall burned bright red and everyone laughed again with Lena shaking her head.

"Same could be said for us as it was quite late when the party finished." Nicholas smirked at Kendall with the exact same smile and eyes as his mother causing everyone to roar with laughter at how alike he was with his mother at times, especially with the two them sitting side-by-side and looking at Kendall with the exact same expressions.

"Well then, it's settled I guess. We'll be staying in Russia for my birthday this year." Lena smiled again with a flutter going through her heart at the thought of another Bristow-Mazzio baby in their lives.

* * *

_March 22, 2025_

"I'll be okay." Lena smiled softly, handing her mother a stack of clothing while she grabbed another duffle bag blazoned with the NASA and RASA patches issued to the astronauts and cosmonauts of the American and Russian space agencies for their personal belongings on these joint missions. "I promise, Mama, to the moon and back." She knew her mother was incredibly nervous as she was every time Lena was about to leave on a mission into space. "I always come back. Safe and sound." She paused a moment with her hand on Irina's lower arm, watching the tears forming in her mother's eyes as she carefully helped to pack her bags, having done so for every previous mission in what had become a tradition since helping Lena to pack for Space Camp at the age of seven every summer.

"It doesn't get any easier. Sending my child off into space." Irina spoke quietly and tried to blink back her tears. Lena was leaving in the morning for Florida to prepare for the shuttle launch in a weeks time and Arman was going to accompany her. The rest of the family would be meeting them there to see the launch. "Will you be going to _The Beach House_ this time?" Irina asked Lena quietly zipping the bag closed when it was packed and sat on the edge of the bed. Watching her daughter's reaction carefully to the question.

_The Beach House,_ as it was known by those in the space community, was a house on Neptune Beach near Cape Canaveral, where the astronauts and their spouses or significant others and children would spend time together in the last couple of days preceding the launch. Given the extremely dangerous nature of such missions, it was a highly respected tradition of the crews to bond as one large family, with their families, before heading into space.

For the previous two missions into space, Lena had graciously bowed out of this tradition, staying in a hotel instead, and the others in her crew understood. With the loss of Antony and her child, being near the others as they celebrated their lives and loves and said what would be potentially, their last goodbyes should things go wrong on the mission, was just too much for Lena to endure. But this time was different. This time, Lena had Arman in her life. The two had spent nearly every day and night together in some capacity since Christmas and this mission would be the first time they'd been separated for such a long length of time since Arman's submarine cruise the previous year. The idea of such a long separation now, was so much for Lena that she'd asked Arman to join her in America for her last week of training and tests prior to launch so they'd be able to spend as much time together as possible before she left.

Irina knew that if Lena were bringing Arman with her to the Beach House, she'd be giving clarification to the world and more importantly, herself, as to what exactly her relationship with Arman really was. Irina wondered if this situation would be the final push needed for Lena take the last step and follow Arman through the door, embracing their relationship and future.

"No." Lena answered quietly shaking her head and folding her last PT shirt and stuffing it in the bag. She immediately felt her stomach flip and roll with the torn feelings riling through her body. The amount of time she'd be spending away from Arman was already upsetting her more and more the nearer her departure time came. But officially announcing her relationship with Arman and what they were exactly was still too terrifying of a thought to deal with at the moment and she'd violently pushed it away, locking it tightly into a compartment and telling herself, she had a mission to concentrate on. She and Arman, were just fine the way they were. "We're staying in the hotel." She finally answered her mother with further explanation.

"Ah." Irina answered quietly with heart sinking at Lena's answer.

"It's just easier that way." Lena answered in a near whisper with eyes darting up to her mother's as she zipped the bag closed.

* * *

_Cape Canaveral, Florida - Kennedy Space Center_

It was six agonizing weeks later in the beginning of May and just after sunrise; that Lena returned from another successful mission. When the shuttle landed and the crew in their bright orange flight suits walked across the tarmac towards their waiting family and loved ones, Arman's smile was raging at seeing her with heart pounding in excitement. They hadn't spoken at all during her mission in space. The only calls she had made were to her parents and he knew why. All communications were placed through NASA in Houston and for Lena to call him, meant that she would actually be acknowledging him. His heart held hope when Irina had let him know on several occasions during their five week separation, that each and every phone call Lena made home on a daily basis, she had asked about Arman, clearly missing him. He knew without a doubt now, that he wanted to spend his life with her and only hoped she had come to the same conclusion during this nearly unbearable time spent so far apart and with no contact.

His smile raged even wider with hope for just that outcome, when his eyes locked with hers across the tarmac, now just a hundred feet apart and saw her eyes and face light up at seeing him coming towards her with her family. The other astronauts were catching sight of their loved ones as well and many quickened their paces, with some running to jump into each others arms in happiness at being reunited. He held himself back from doing the same, hoping Lena would come to him and his smile fell when he saw her actually pull herself back from doing just that and actually slowed her gait towards him and her smile tightened with control, not wanting to give any of her emotions away to anyone else at seeing him.

"Welcome back." He swallowed hard, giving her a soft smile when she was standing before him after hugging her mother, father and siblings tightly in a happy reunion.

"Thank you." Lena smiled at him from behind her aviator glasses, her eyes intently locked with his behind the protective shield and could see the hurt flash through his eyes that he was trying to mask at the distance she was maintaining in public. "I have to go…" Her eyes flashed to the other astronauts saying their temporary goodbyes to their families. "We have debriefing and Post-Medical Evals now, but… I'll see you later?" She asked him quietly, hopeful that he would understand her need to maintain the distance now but desperate to see him and spend time with him alone.

"Yeah." Arman smiled through the pain in his heart with a soft head nod. "I'll see you later."

They all watched Lena board the bus with the other members of the crew and waved at her when she gave them a wave through the window.

Arman felt Irina's hand slide into his and give a gentle squeeze watching them drive away in silent support. Her eyes glanced over to him with a soft and encouraging smile.

"Hang in there." She spoke in a near whisper, having seen the disheartened look in his eyes when Lena held back with just the barest of acknowledgements in this very public space.

Arman was mostly silent for the duration of the day while the rest of the family enjoyed themselves with a day on the beach. They had all showered and changed for dinner, planning to meet Lena at the restaurant. The second round of drinks were already being served by the time she arrived and Arman felt his heart skip a beat to see her looking so beautiful and smiling widely at him and only him, staring across the space as she walked towards their table.

"Sorry to be late. Took a little longer getting ready. Jet lag, I suppose." Lena cracked a smile hugging her mother and everyone else again at the table, except Arman whom she continued to glance at during the hugs with the others and then as she sat down across from him at the end of the table, held his gaze with a heated stare and soft smile.

"You look very beautiful." Arman whispered across the table with a soft smile of his own reaching across the table to hold her hand. The first contact they'd had since she'd left for space and sent a fiery bolt electricity through them both with need and want.

"Thank you." Lena answered him just as quietly as his thumb grazed over the back of her fingers. Her eyes glanced over his shoulder to see the other patrons of the restaurant smiling widely at them and whispering to each other and in looking around the restaurant could see others doing the same. She quickly pulled her hand back as if burned and looked down, swallowing hard and tucked her hair behind her ear glancing up and sending a silent apology to Arman.

He stared at her and then reached for his water glass, taking a long sip with eyes still held to hers and then set it down, taking a long deep breath in trying to control his own upset and emotions.

It was the most interaction they'd had all throughout dinner as everyone else in the family chatted excitedly with Lena about the mission.

**_*To Make You Feel My Love*_**

"It was a lovely evening. Thank you for dinner, Your Majesty." Arman smiled politely excusing himself from the group as they all began to make their way towards their respective rooms. It was the most he'd spoken in hours. His eyes glanced once more towards Lena with a soft nod in saying goodnight without words and turned to walk down the hallway.

"Go." Irina whispered into Lena's ear after they stood for several long moments watching him use his key to enter his room at the end of the hallway while everyone else continued to laugh and chat together in their large group. _"Go!"_ She nudged her daughter with her hand to the back of Lena's elbow pushing her towards Arman with a smile and encouraging head nod in seeing Lena's want to be near him and hesitation at the same time.

Lena's eyes glanced around quickly to see if anyone else was in their area of the hotel before moving slowly at first and then more quickly towards his room. His door hadn't closed completely upon entering and she caught it just in time with her fingers to let herself in. He was standing in front of the large windows overlooking the beach tugging at his necktie when she pushed the door shut behind her.

"Arman?" She finally spoke having just stood there a moment looking at him and seeing his fallen body posture, knowing he was upset.

When he turned around, his eyes widened only slightly to see her standing there and then let go of the breath he'd been holding seeing the tears already building in her eyes. She didn't wait but a second to rapidly close the distance, leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist with hands grabbing his face and kissing him deeply. She inhaled her cry and let her tears fall when she felt him finally return the kiss and hold her to him with the same desperation she felt to be with him. "I missed you. I missed you so much." She cried softly between kisses pressing her chest into his and hoping he could feel it through her pounding heart.

"I missed you, too." He peppered her face with kisses while walking her towards the bed and each already rapidly stripping each other's clothes off. The desperate need to be one over ride any ideas of taking it slow after so much time apart and when both were naked Arman sat back on the edge of the bed and Lena straddled him with mouths constantly melded, unwilling to break apart for long. He cupped her face gently forcing her to look at him as she settled against him and whispered, "I love you," brushing his nose intimately with hers.

Lena's dark eyes filled with more tears and pressed her naked chest once more into his, sliding her body down and impaling herself slowly onto him with a gasp and soft cry at feeling him completely fill her and complete her once more. "I missed you, too." She cried softly feeling whole again in his arms and cried even more that it was even possible to feel this way. "I missed you, so much." She repeated and kissed him more deeply initiating the movements and slowing down considerably to make love to him, wanting to show him exactly how much she had missed him and what she felt for him even if she still couldn't say it, savoring each touch, kiss and caress now that they were alone.

Arman's heart skipped a beat blinking back his own tears and tangling his hand into her hair to deepen the kiss and pull her more closely, having hoped that she would have been able to finally say how she felt for him with words upon her return and realizing now with her chest pressed into his, that she still couldn't. He swallowed his anguish deciding to show her instead, exactly how much he loved her, missed her and needed her in his life with each touch, kiss and caress in turn. The rest they could figure out another day.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia – Peterhof Palace - May 15th, 2025_

It had been a week, since Lena had returned from her mission to space and everyone was once again back in Russia for the Coronation Anniversary. Another gorgeous ball was held to celebrate the special occasion and smiles were on everyone's faces when they arrived at palace by the sea, enjoying the atmosphere and the unusually warm weather.

Lena was once again inseparable from Arman now that they were home and each and every moment they could, was spent together.

When Lena emerged from her bedroom at Peterhof dressed for the evening, all motion ceased and everyone stopped breathing to take in the sight of her and the impossibly amazing dress she was wearing that showed off her flawless figure.

"She can't wear that!" Jack gasped with hand going over his heart watching his daughter walk down the hall towards them as he stood by Irina, all waiting on Lena as the last member of the family to be ready and all planning on walking out to the guests together.

"She looks amazing…_gorgeous_." Katya shook her head with a wide smile staring at her niece turning every staff members head just as her mother had always done.

"I know…but…" Jack gasped helplessly having his own breath taken away by Lena's beauty and seeing so much of her mother in her it almost brought tears to his eyes and every time he saw Lena dressed in something so unbelievable like this, had reminded she wasn't his little girl anymore but had grown into a beautiful woman.

"She has her mother's taste in exquisite clothing…among other things." Katya laughed softly with playful eyes flashing with pride over to her sister.

Nadia smiled widely to see her sister was wearing the piece of Cleopatra's jewelry she had found and given to Lena as a gift for her birthday the summer after they found the barge. It looked perfect with the dress she was now wearing that caused every male in the room to drop their mouths open, including Arman, with the amount of skin it revealed. The majority of her torso was naked except for strategically placed strips of the flowing fabric to cover what was essential. The entire length of her back was exposed as were most of her sides and Nadia had to giggle looking at Arman while Lena approached him as the man had gone completely white in color and not blinking with mouth slightly ajar.

"You look…_wow_." Arman finally breathed out when she was standing before him and smiling, waiting for him to extend his arm for her to hang onto so they could walk down the steps together with the rest of her family. He kissed her cheek before holding out his arm slightly as her escort and unable to tear his eyes away from her. He was already nervous about this night and being out with her on such a massive Imperial Family celebration to mark the Anniversary with his mind drifting to other places every all at once with so much going on and now…to see her looking the way she did he couldn't remember to breathe let alone think about the rest of the evening. "You are so beautiful…" He whispered against her ear making her smile softly while they were walking out and the Press immediately started snapping away with their brilliant flashes and audible gasping.

Later in the evening, Arman was left alone with Jack and Irina clustered together at one of the head tables while watching everyone dance on the floor in front of them. Lena was currently dancing with her brother Julian smiling and having a great time.

The fact that Arman couldn't stop smiling watching Lena made Irina smile as she glanced across Jack to Arman beside them. The young man saw only one person in that room filled with thousands, her daughter. She saw something though, doubt or a flicker of something causing him nervousness and she felt her heart skip a beat with wonder having only seen Lena blissfully happy the last few months, the happiest she'd seen her in years and even more so with Arman in the last week since her return from space. She had hoped that they were finally headed in the right direction and that the distance and absence had indeed, made their hearts grown even fonder.

"What's on your mind?" Irina asked Arman softly grabbing his startled attention and Arman looked down swallowing hard with a blushing smile. "You look troubled about something…" She added quietly.

"That obvious is it?" He asked with a shy smile and hands shook with a nervous tremble, "Actually…I'm glad to have this opportunity to speak to the both of you. You know Lena better than anyone. Do you think she's really happy? With me?" His voice trembled with his nervousness and both Jack and Irina were slightly startled with his question and that he had any doubt.

"Yes…of course she's happy with you." Irina reached over with a comforting smile and squeezed his hand. '"You've brought the happiness back into her life…her smile and laugh." Her eyes flashed over to Lena who Nicholas had intercepted trading with his brother for a chance to dance with his sister next and the two were laughing about something. "How could you doubt your effect on her?" Irina asked with eyes of concern flashing back to his. He didn't need to answer to see the look in his eyes and know, "She still hasn't told you…she loves you? Has she?" She asked with a great softness in her voice and understood now where his uncertainty was coming from.

"I opened the door…" He trailed off shaking his head softly with tears pricking his eyes looking back at Lena, "She just doesn't want to follow me through. I'm scared that after all this time…she may never." He knew she loved him, he felt it and she told him with her heart repeatedly but now his ears were begging for the same telling after months of silence in regards to how Lena felt about him at all. She had no problem showing him, in private only, but would never say how she felt either even then. He was still kept the secret in her heart…

"She loves you. I know she does." Irina squeezed his hand again with tears in her eyes willing him not to give up knowing how hard it was.

"I know she does." Arman smiled through his tears at her softly, "and I've learned the difficult lesson in life that it does not wait for you…_carpe diem_…seize the day." His smile wavered with tears thinking about Angelina, "And so I am…I'm going to stop thinking and let go…go with my heart," He sighed heavily reaching into his jacket pocket and removing a velvet ring box keeping it discreetly behind his jacket and under the ledge of the table so only Irina and Jack could see and making them gasp instantly. "I love her…with all that I am, I love her. I want a life with her and I want to marry her. I'm going to ask her." His eyes clouded with tears and his voice echoed the feeling while he smiled softly through his uncertainty, "I don't want to wait anymore… or hide from the world how I feel about her. I just want a life with her…and I hope she wants one with me," he reached up quickly to brush the tears from his face and quickly put the ring box back in his pocket, "I love your daughter and I want to ask her to marry me and spend her life with me…if it is all right with you? May I please have the greatest honor of my life…in asking Lena to be my wife?" His eyes flashed up to Jack and then Irina and back. There was no one around to hear them and if they did, he didn't really care anymore, he was tired of hiding his love for her.

Jack took a deep breath with tears in his eyes trying and successfully to keep them in his eyes looking for a long moment at Lena laughing while dancing with her brother who was constantly bringing a smile from her face and then to the young man before him now knowing how dramatically he'd changed her life since coming into it. He'd been beaten up by her, by Max, and by himself and his son all upon their second meeting and still, he stayed. He'd helped Lena to come further in the past year than anyone. He knew his daughter loved him and he could imagine her with no one else now. They complimented each other, brought out each other's strengths and held each other through their weaknesses. They were best friends. Together, they were perfect.

"Yes, you may have the great honor of asking our daughter." Jack answered in a low voice, knowing Irina's answer without asking as he knew she'd been their number one cheerleader outside of Arman's own mother. "But are you certain you can handle this life you are asking to be a part of? Are you going to be able to handle being married to the Tsar of Imperial Russia and what that means?" Jack asked with a thick voice knowing from first hand experience what it was like to stand-by your wife's side while she essentially ruled the world as the Tsar of the new world superpower and how vital his role was in her life in enabling her to do her job by standing by her side and being her number one supporter…The one she came home to at night and sought advice, comfort and unconditional love from. He knew that Arman was capable of it; he just wanted to voice it and make certain the young man was recognizing the complete package of his daughter. "To share her with all of Russia and the world? To be her partner in every single aspect of life…that your child will be the next Tsar of Imperial Russia?"

Arman's eyes watered with new tears thinking about having a baby with Lena and thinking about the fact now, for the first time that his child with her, would be the next Tsar of Russia after Lena's reign was over…and that he'd be responsible not only as a father under normal pressure to do it right but the exponential added pressure and stress of raising a future ruler.

"Yes. I'll stand by her side because I can't imagining being anywhere else." Arman answered with a serious face and Jack nodded softly with a slight smile.

"Then I wish you all the best." Jack shook his hand and Irina leaned around him to kiss Arman's cheek, holding him with a one armed hug trying not to cry. She knew Arman was the perfect partner for life in every aspect for Lena.

* * *

**_*Together*_**

"Lena," Arman drew her into his arms later that evening when they'd gone back to their rooms at the end of the ball. He was supposed to be saying good night and then going to his own room as was standard now over the past year at official functions as they weren't an '_official'_ couple. "I love you…" He spoke in a whisper holding her close to his chest while she smiled up at him and he paused as he always found himself doing these days to see if she'd repeat it back, but as usual she remained silent and drew him closer to her with arms encircling his neck and kissing him.

"Will you marry me?" He asked in a whisper against her lips and she froze instantly with heart surging with a hard pound he felt jolt through her.

"What?" Lena gasped barely above a breath wondering and hoping she heard him wrong as she panicked in response.

"Will you marry me, Lena?" He repeated the question with his own heart pounding while his hand came up between them and on the end of his pointer finger a gorgeously perfect diamond solitaire rested waiting for her answer.

The glint off the diamond made her gasp and tear away from him feeling the overwhelming surge of emotions and panic and instantly burst into tears fisting her hands up by her head and turning from him when he tried to step closer.

"Lena, I love you. I want to spend my life with you…I want you to be my wife and I, your husband…I love you…" He repeated feeling his heart lurch into his throat with terror at her response. "Please say, 'yes…"

"I can't." She cried in a gasp shaking her head with raging tears seeing Antony's face repeatedly flashing before her eyes and then torn in half by seeing the instant look of sadness in Arman's tear filled eyes.

"Why not?"

"I just can't…"

"You don't love me?"

"No…yes." She shook her head with blinding tears.

"No, yes what?" He felt his anger rising that even now, in this moment, she couldn't say it, say what she felt in words and admit that she loved him. "You can't admit that you love me or you don't love me. Which is it?"

"Don't do this, please..." She begged him.

"Do what, Lena? I'm asking you to marry me. I'm not trying to hurt you but you can't even tell me how you feel-"

_"You know how I feel about you!"_

"Do I? I don't know what to think anymore. I told you I loved you months ago. We spend all our time together yet you refuse to acknowledge we're even a couple. You want to keep us in the dark and I don't anymore. I can't. I love you and I want a life with you… one I'm not ashamed of and don't have to hide."

_"I'm not ashamed of you!"_

_"I think you are!_ You couldn't even acknowledge me after being in space with absolutely no contact for five weeks! Wouldn't even look at me in the restaurant after I tried holding your hand there. I thought things would be different when you got home. I hoped they would be. But I'm starting to really think, you are ashamed to be with me…"

_"No, I'm not!"_ Lena cried shaking her head that this was going to horribly wrong and seeing the deep hurt pouring from his soul that she had caused by her actions and hating herself for it.

"Then what are you? Why can't you tell me what you're thinking or feeling? Tell me now, how do you feel about me?" He asked with tears running from his eyes in their face off with the distance growing between them and she remained silent and inhaled her sob. "You can't even admit to yourself how you feel about me." He shook his head with sadness. "You can't tell me how you feel about me and yet, you expect me to believe in this moment that you're not ashamed of me? Of us? I thought I knew how you felt. I thought you loved me but you can't even say it…not even right now."

"You weren't wrong." Lena answered him in barely above a whisper with cracking voice and tears streaming from her eyes.

"Wasn't I? Then tell me…and say, '_yes'_ and be my wife."

Lena cried harder and shook her head feeling her world spinning out of control, "I can't."

Arman's chest heaved with emotion and rapid breaths, "This is it, Lena. I can't live anymore with loving you in the dark and behind closed doors. I don't want to feel like we're doing something wrong or dirty and that's what you're making me feel." He paused for a long moment staring at her. "Why can't you say, _yes_? Is it because of Antony?"

"Don't, please…" She cried instantly shaking his head and he knew he hit the truth.

"Lena, I loved Angelina with everything in me but she's gone and I never thought I'd find someone to love like that again…" he cried trying to step towards her and she stepped back, "but I did in you and I found my hope for the future…I'll never stop loving her but she's gone and Antony is, too."

"_Stop! Please_…" She begged him again.

"I can't go on this way, Lena. I love you too much…and if I have to, I'll walk away-"

_"No!"_ she shook her head instantly, taking a step towards him and this time he stepped back.

"Lena, I love you." He spoke again.

Lena knew he was waiting to hear her say it in return but she only sobbed harder, willing herself to speak but couldn't and shook her head 'no' while taking more step towards him wanting to press her chest with his and tell him the only way she thought she could, with her heart but he stepped back again and away from her.

"You can't say it." Arman nodded softly with a voice of ragged acceptance and blinding tears taking another step back putting more distance between them. "Okay…" he swallowed hard, "I love you…with everything I am and I always will…but I can't live like this. I want more." His voice faded and inhaled his own sob reaching for the door handle behind him. "I wish you all the best in life…and that some day…you do meet someone whom you can love openly… aren't afraid to tell them how you feel…and have the life you deserve." He nodded quickly and she sobbed harder while he flung the door open and she surged forward after him coming to a stop when the door closed behind him. She dropped to her knees with hands fisting in her hair while she wailed with a harsh cry and Jack and Irina stopped dead in their tracks in the hallway outside their door, seeing Arman leaving Lena's room, seeing his tears and then hearing her cry on the other side of the door in loud anguished sobs.

"What happened?" Irina asked with instant tears in her eyes and pounding heart feeling Lena's pain instantly.

"She said she can't... but I can't go on this way. I love her too much." Arman shook his head crying even more at hearing Lena's wailing sobs on the other side of the door, having never heard her cry like this before and knowing he'd just caused them but he couldn't do this anymore. "I'm sorry." He flashed them both a look and quickly pivoted moving rapidly down the hall and then steps leaving.

**_*Cosmic Love*_**

Lena reached for the door the same time Irina did and locked it, knowing her mother was on the other side and slid down the door crying with head buried in her hands.

"Oh god, what have I done?" She cried in a whisper, angry with herself and feeling a desperateness she hadn't felt in a long time and her fingers brushing over her lips knowing she'd never again feel his lips there. Arman was gone and it was over and her heart screamed at her in the confusion with pain of his immediate loss. She swore at herself for falling for him, for hurting him and angry at him for making her fall in love with him and unable to tell him so. _He was better off without her…she couldn't even tell him she loved him,_ she reasoned and then inhaled another sob. He wanted to spend his life with her and she just stood there unable to say anything to give any explanation as to why she couldn't, at the same time panicked at the thought of losing him…and ultimately she had lost him.

Lena fell over onto her side curling into a ball on the carpet and sobbed not knowing how she was going to live without him and having to face another loss in her life but she didn't know what to do. She gave him everything she was able to give, and it wasn't enough; the look on his face as he was leaving, wishing her the best in finding love with someone else whom she wasn't afraid of loving and it was killing her inside with a gut and heart-wrenching pain she hadn't felt since Antony died.

"Lena…" Irina's heart was breaking with hers as she knelt in front of the door, palms flat against the wood and forehead pressed against the grain. Tears streaking madly down her own cheeks as she tried to get Lena to answer her and open the door. Hearing Lena cry like this again after being so blissfully happy the last several months was unbearable. "Please open the door, My Little Love…" She begged quietly and Lena only cried harder.

"Come on." Jack gently placed his hand on Irina's shoulder, motioning her with tears in his own eyes for his wife to take his hand. He knew from the previous years of heartbreak since Antony died in dealing with Lena's grief, that when she closed the door and locked it, she didn't open it again until she was ready. It was breaking his heart to hear her crying and to see his wife on her knees begging their daughter to open the door, knowing how much it pained Irina to see their child in such pain.

Irina accepted Jack's hand and cried softly into his neck as he wrapped his arms around her, walking them across the hall to their room.

Lena cried and sobbed until the sun came up lying on the floor, still wearing her dress and in Imperial Regalia until mid-morning and finally extracted herself knowing her family was ready to go home.

"Where's Arman?" Nicholas asked when they slid into the limo noticing the look on Lena's face and the man who was always by her side now noticeably absent.

"He's gone…and I suspect he won't be back." Lena answered with her voice breaking into a quiver and tears flooding her eyes while she stared out the window.

"What happened?" Her brother asked full of concern while the others in the limo listened intently with heavy hearts and fear to see Lena like this again, so broken and devastated.

"He asked me to marry him…" Her tears fell from her eyes with voice shaking and then stifled her cry, "I said _no_…"

"Why did you say, _no_?" Sydney asked with tears running from her eyes in an instant.

"I just can't." Lena cried without looking at her and Isabella's eyes flooded with tears knowing her brother was the reason Lena wouldn't allow herself to be happy with someone else and it broke her heart knowing Lena did love Arman. "I just can't." Lena repeated in a whisper of a cry and Irina pulled her back against her sitting beside her and let her cry silently while they drove back to Alexander.

* * *

Lena went straight to Antony's grave when they arrived home and stayed out there until well into the afternoon sobbing over what happened and feeling Arman's loss instantly, screaming in rage and pain and then sobbing all over again not knowing what to do.

Irina walked towards her at the grave and saw Lena now crying silently sitting amongst the gorgeous wild flowers with blood red eyes and unable to let her daughter make this mistake when she knew in her heart Lena loved Arman. She looked at the magazine in her hand one more time before rolling it and taking a deep breath, kneeling beside Lena.

"Do you love him?" She asked tilting Lena's chin up with her finger forcing her to look her in the eye and Lena tried to look away with a sob but Irina held her chin firmly in place, "_Do you love him?" _She asked with a more commanding and intent tone that her daughter knew meant, her mother wanted the truth.

"Yes…" Lena admitted out loud for the first time with a sob and new raging tears bringing tears to Irina's eyes as she released her chin and unrolled the magazine.

The Press from the party last night already had her picture on the cover of _Newsweek_ along with Arman and Antony, with the article's speculation that her relationship with Arman was in fact, more than friendship after this long and that she'd found a new love after losing Antony. The quote above their' faces asking the most relevant question of all, _'Great love lost… new love found?'_

"So this is true." Irina whispered speaking of the question the magazine had asked and Lena just answered. "Its' not wrong to love again, Sweetheart." She reached up to brush Lena's cheek when her daughter took the magazine in her hands and started crying with soft sobs to see Antony and Arman next to each other and thinking about how she had found new love and now it was gone, in the blink of an eye, just as with Antony.

"I couldn't even tell him I loved him, Mama…how could I say _yes_ to marrying him?" Lena cried with finger tracing over Arman's cheek in the photograph.

"But you do love him. Why couldn't you tell him? Are you afraid that if you do, you'll somehow lose Antony?"

"_Yes…no!_ _I don't know, Mama! I don't know!_ I'm just so scared…scared to say yes and lose him and now I have…I have lost him because I couldn't say yes." She cried harder thinking about Arman's face last night and his goodbye.

"I know you're scared, Sweetheart. Scared to love and to lose again but it's too late. You're already in love. You have a choice right now whether or not you lose Arman…If you could, would you give everything to spend one more day with Antony?"

"Yes." Lena cried knowing she would and where her mother was going with this.

"So why not give everything? Risk everything then through your fear to spend as long as you can with Arman? For however long that is? It might be forever, you never know. Life is not guaranteed but you can't stop living it because you fear what might happen… everyday you had with Antony was a blessing and everyday you have with Arman is too…" Irina tilted Lena's face up again with tears dripping from her chin. "You have to let Antony go, Sweetheart…You will always love him but he's gone." She cried with Lena, who sobbed at hearing her mother finally saying that. "Arman is here…right now and he loves you…You have to take that last step, Sweetheart…you're at the threshold of a new life and you have to take that last step."

"I don't know that I can…" Lena cried.

"Yes, you can. I know you can." Irina nodded with certainty, "You have to…Are you really ready to lose, Arman for good? To not have him in your life anymore?'

"No." Lena gasped shaking her head.

"Well, then you have to take that step, right now, Sweetheart because he's leaving." Irina's eyes locked with Lena's and caught her confusion, "He put in transfer orders already last night and asked for an expedited transfer to Vladivostok." She swallowed hard knowing that was as far away from Lena as Arman could get and still stay in Russia. "His plane is leaving in twenty-five minutes."

_"What?"_ Lena gasped with raging tears feeling her heart was about to explode again. "Twenty-five minutes..."

"Tanya just called me…he said he, _'can't stand to be near you and not with you._" Irina spoke softly and watched the torrent of emotions sweep through her. "This is your second chance, Sweetheart. This is it." She reached up wiping Lena's tears, "What is your heart telling you right now?"

**_*The Beginning of The Partnership*_**

Lena knew what her heart was saying and had been saying for quite some time she just didn't want to listen to it.

"To go after him…and never let him go!" She cried and watched her mother smile through raging tears.

"Then go. The helicopter is up and waiting for you." Irina smiled pulling Lena with her to her feet and watched the second of surprise in her daughter's eyes before the smile and Lena threw her arms rapidly around her hugging her tightly for a brief moment and then took off running, harder than she ever had before in her life.

Irina couldn't help but cry and smile watching her daughter tear across the field of wild flowers at an incredible pace, flying past everyone who was already outside doing various things and all stopping to watch her form fly by with curious gazes. Lena leaped into the helicopter already up and going having seen her coming and was in the air in seconds with Max already waiting inside with a smile and supportive nod.

She landed less then five minutes later right in front of the airport terminal in St. Petersburg sending people scattering and with curious gazes knowing it was the Imperial helicopter and wondering what was going on. Lena leaped out before it even hit the ground fully and was sprinting through the crowds with Max trying to keep up behind her as she flew past people in awe to see her and everyone followed her in a hurry to see where she was going so quickly.

Lena saw the line for Security to access the terminal gates and knew she didn't have time to wait hearing the announcement for the final boarding call for the flight to Vladivostok, she ran faster, straight through the metal detector setting it off while the guards screamed at her and started to chase her until Max started shouting at them running right behind her holding up his credentials and causing them to do a double take at the girl with the dark hair who flew by in a blur, realizing it was the Tsarevicha.

She leaped over luggage on the moving sidewalks calling out her apologies as she ran towards the gate and caught sight of Arman's head on the floor below as one of the last to board the plane. He was handing his ticket to the airline attendant before walking to the plane.

_"Arman!"_ Lena screamed trying to make her way down the escalators packed with passengers and everyone stopped what they were doing to turn around watching Lena running through the crowd towards him, screaming his name. _"Arman!"_

**_*Fumbling Towards Ecstasy remix*_**

Arman whirled around with surprised eyes to hear his name being screamed through the echoing marble and then to see her.

_"I love you!"_ Lena cried with raging tears and a wide smile, yelling as loud as she could so that he would hear. _"I love you!"_ She cried out again trying to push through the people who were stunned frozen in place and not helping her efforts to reach him in their shock.

Arman immediately felt the tears flood his eyes as he too was frozen in place watching her from across the massive foyer of terminal gates screaming with a smile in front of thousands of people all watching her, that she loved him.

When Lena broke through the last space of people everyone else had already cleared the area before them and she smiled running at him as fast as she could, _"Yes, I'll marry you!"_ She cried and everyone gasped loudly as he dropped his bag and ran towards her in turn, picking her up when she jumped up wrapping her legs around him with a smile, holding his face, _"Yes, I'll marry you!"_ She cried rapidly and then kissed him deeply.

Everyone in the airport started whistling with claps and cheers, and a majority with tears watching the two and hearing what they'd all suspected was true.

"I love you…and I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner…I love you." Lena cried with forehead pressed to his while her thumbs wiped at his tears not caring who else was there anymore as they were in their own world right now. "I can't lose you…I need you…I love you and I do want to marry you."

Arman's lips captured hers' once more with a desperate kiss and tears with bubbling laughter coming from them both when he started spinning them around in happiness.

The news network filming at the gate behind them doing a report on immigration caught the entire scene LIVE. Irina had called Max to see if Lena made it in time and he relayed she had and that it was now being broadcast on the news. The entire family now stood in the living room of the palace watching the replay of Lena screaming _'I love you'_ running through the crowd and then, _'Yes, I'll marry you!_' before jumping into Arman's' arms making them all cry in happiness that _finally_, Lena had taken the last step and fully embraced her future.

Lena's head hit the pillow in Arman's apartment less than a half hour later with clothes being frantically torn away and tears of happiness flowing from both of their eyes. Her hands raking up his back and pulling him closer to her naked chest she rolled them over and pressed their bodies together with legs tangling and mouths mingling, tasting, claiming and whispering '_I love you'_ over and over to him now that she'd broken through the last wall and let her emotion and love for him flow fully. He sat up with her straddling his legs and tangled his hands into her hair kissing her and then gasping with her when she slid down onto him and they became one.

"I love you." He cried with a smile holding her face gently in his hands and brushing their noses as he had done when she first returned from her mission, hoping for a different response this time.

"I love you, too." She cried in turn with a raging smile, knowing exactly what he was thinking about. "I love you, so much." He thumbed away her tears kissing her slowly before they started moving together in a perfect rhythm all their own.

* * *

_**AN: No, this is not the end :)**_


	71. Chapter 71

_**AN: Sorry for the delay! Now let's have some fun. On with the wild ride!**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): Sexyback **_**by Justin Timberlake**_**, Feel This Moment **_**by Pitbull**_**, Pour Some Sugar on Me **_**by Def Leppard**_**, Legs **_**by ZZ Top**_**, Launch **_**by Trevor Rabin from Armaggedon Score Soundtrack,**_** Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Protectors of the Earth, Girl on Fire **_**by Alicia Keys**_**, To the Stars **_**by Randy Edelmen from Dragonheart Soundtrack**_**.**_

* * *

SEVENTY-ONE

o

_St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace -November 15th, 2025 _

"And what is, '_this news_' exactly, Darling?" Katya asked Lena during her birthday dinner with hands folding before her face resting her elbows on the table and leaning in, intrigued as was everyone else by Lena's curious declaration earlier in the evening that she had news to share now that everyone was all in one place. "Please do share. The suspense is killing us." She smiled encouraging her niece to continue as all of the other eager faces nodded in agreement.

"Well," Lena began with a soft smile tucking her hair behind her ear and glancing over to her mother. "They have finished the analysis on the data compiled from our genetics testing during my last mission. The results looked incredibly promising in their preliminary findings but… the final report is astonishing and carries so much hope for the future. As some of you know from my two previous trips into space before this one, the Flight Surgeon began noticing something strange when monitoring my vitals. We already knew from the study of Mama's genetics and blood over the years that she and I carry a much higher concentration of hemoglobin in our red blood cells." Lena's eyes flashed around the table holding everyone's attention. "Mama's red blood cells carry a little over three times the normal level of hemoglobin that the average human adult has and that I carry around two times the normal levels of hemoglobin."

"Hence the reason you can both run forever like the wind." Alexei smiled proudly at his 'girls' as the physician. "Three times the hemoglobin means three times the oxygen in your blood stream to your organs." He thanked God often, for giving them these traits as they no doubt played major roles in the 'miracles' of saving Irina's life so many times, including bringing her back from the dead after nearly 30 minutes in Cardiac Arrest and with Lena dead and under the ice for nearly the same when she'd gone into the river. They had both been dead three-times the normal length of time of only 9 minutes that a human could realistically be without oxygen to their brains and hearts, without catastrophic damage and each, had come back to life with nearly no damage or lasting effect of any kind. Their brains and hearts had held on because of those concentrated oxygen levels and allowed them to sustain little to no damage.

"Exactly." Lena nodded softly with a smile with excitement. "Most astronauts hemoglobin decreases in space for obvious reasons and their bodies become weaker and age more quickly in a shorter time frame than they would on Earth. The muscle atrophy is rapid in a weightless environment, including the heart. But again, as many of you already know the Flight Surgeon discovered during my first mission and then followed again during my second, was that another anomaly that was contradictory in nature presented itself for the first time. Instead of decreasing in hemoglobin as was expected, my red blood cells actually increased in space and the weightless environment from two times the normal on earth, to four times. Surpassing even Mama's load capacity for oxygen within her cells. This was part of what helped my pancreatic cells to evolve and be able to bring to life again, those pancreatic cells that had ceased to function like Mama's, with Diabetes."

"The increased and concentrated oxygen levels carried in the same load of red blood cells." Ryan Petersen smiled with a head nod of understanding having studied Irina's pancreatic transformation with great interest after she had been cured from the devastating effects of her toxic Execution. That Lena's '_energized cells'_ from space, had been able to transform her mother's cells and get them functioning again.

"Yes." Lena nodded with a smile seeing their excitement and anticipation as well. "But there was something else they've have noticed with my repeated trips to space and in their increased durations. My cells not only increase in hemoglobin while I'm there, but with each trip back home, the effects are lasting longer. They are causing a permanent change within my cells that are now sticking around even when I'm back on Earth."

"Your cells are evolving?" Sergei asked near breathless with wide-eyes and a hopeful smile.

"They are. The anti-gravity environment of space has caused my red blood cells to seemingly morph and carry a continuous load now of three times the hemoglobin. Just like Mama." Lena smiled at her mother with the understanding now, that though she still wasn't able to actual beat her, she was gaining on Irina in their runs together and she'd finally been given the reason as to why. Her blood had evolved to carry the same amount of oxygen that her mother's did.

"So while other astronauts bodies take a beating and start disintegrating more quickly in space with wear and tear, working that much harder… yours is actually thriving?" Sydney asked quietly with astonishment, having noticed a new healthy glow about her sister since her most recent trip to space nearly six months ago, but thought it only that Lena was finally happy after getting engaged to Arman.

"Not only thriving, Sydney. But more importantly, evolving…" Sergei shook his head with a smile full of pride and hope and excitement at what this could mean given his field of expertise as a doctor was in researching blood and finding cures. His eyes locked with Lena's knowing that she clearly understood the significance of this discovery. "The possibilities if we could replicate this are-"

"Unimaginable." Marcelo shared the same excitement with wide-eyes.

"I know." Lena smiled more radiantly with eyes flashing towards her mother. "That's why they want to start taking more samples from Mama to the Lunar Lab with them for more research. We can only imagine what her cells in space would actually do given the same conditions, if mine are reacting in such a way." She shook her head laughing softly with pride and excitement. "I know they'd love to actually get you there."

"In space?" Irina nearly choked on the air, immediately shaking her head in awe and a smile, having been stunned silent by the news. "I don't think so. As your sister once said," She looked over to Sydney with pride and speaking softly, "You inherited my genetic anomalies for a reason, Sweetheart. You carried them into space where such discoveries could be made. This is part of your destiny now, to find out what we can do for humanity with these genes we've inherited. Not mine." She was passing this torch with great pride onto her daughter. For years Irina had been consumed with Rambaldi's Prophecy's of her and finding out what it all meant, why her body held such anomalies and mysteries and now it was up to Lena to unlock the rest of the secrets hidden within them.

"Your body thrives in space…" Arman marveled looking at Lena and shaking his head speaking softly with a smile. "See, you _are_ a higher alien being, Space Critter." He teased making her smile remembering that conversation from a year ago when he'd given her the nickname. "You are at home in space."

Lena's only response was to laugh softly shaking her head and tugging on his neck to kiss him quickly.

"So what does that mean for those of us that aren't you scientific doctor brainiac types? What else can be potentially cured with the unbelievable hereditary genes of _The Chosen One_?" Weiss asked with a smile flashing from Irina to Lena and around the table, seeing their excitement at yet another new discovery coming from Irina genes.

"Increased oxygenated blood would mean, more successful organ transplants, for one." Marcelo smiled. "Keeping an organ more viable longer for transplant making its chances of being successfully take, rise."

"And less need actually for them." Ryan added smiling as well. "With the ability to save organ tissues before they died with such blood. And more time to work on Critical Traumas in the ER and in surgery. It'd be less blood transfusions and quicker recovery times."

"And premature babies…" Lena added softly with the flashes of her own baby and brother, fleeting before her eyes and they all felt a sudden dip in their happiness thinking about the same two babies in Antony and Jack, with eyes flashing between Irina and Lena as she continued. "Even if their lungs haven't fully developed, with transfusions carrying natural hemoglobin oxygen enriched blood, their chances of survival would increase dramatically ensuring proper brain and organ development." Her phone began ringing suddenly and she picked it up. "I'm sorry, I have to take this. Please excuse me." She stood quickly looking at the Caller ID and offering her apologies for leaving her own birthday dinner before dessert, her own birthday cake, had even been served. They watched her leave and continued on with their conversation discussing the fascinating news, content to wait for her and chatting with excitement.

Within five minutes Lena returned with a slightly bemused smile on her face and paler in complexion as she took her seat again beside Arman and her mother and father at their end of the table.

"Sweetheart, is everything all right?" Irina asked taking note of Lena's appearance and feeling her own heartbeat quicken in time with Lena's racing one. "What's going on?"

"Everything is fine. There is nothing wrong they just…" Lena answered her mother quietly while all other conversation at the table ceased the moment Irina asked Lena if something was wrong, "Wanted to give me some news. I never thought this might actually happen…" Lena's eyes shifted to Arman's beside her, holding only his gaze intently with an apologetic look. This was the first time she'd been in such a position, now sharing her life with someone else and this not being just her decision anymore. "I'm sorry we didn't have a chance to speak about this before now, Arman, it's just, I didn't bring it up because…honestly, I never thought it would happen, this dream coming true."

"What dream?" Arman asked as curious as the rest of them. He took hold of her hand and brushed the side of her face with a soft smile, encouraging her to continue.

"The call I just received, was to notify me that I've been selected for another shuttle mission next fall. As the Shuttle Commander." She added quietly with a smile in her eyes as the others gasped softly at the great honor and responsibility if being a Shuttle Commander, the one in charge of not only the entire Shuttle and it's mission, but also it's crew and helping the pilot to fly. To be given such a responsibility and honor meant that the others in the space program valued your abilities considerably. "They said that this being my fourth mission and with so much time logged in space and flight, that I am now considered to be one of the Veterans of the _Lunar Space Station_. I've been asked to go back to further study what we were just speaking about and… given the timing of this flight and the nature of the mission, I have been asked to lead the team as Shuttle Commander." She explained in a rush, still in disbelief.

Arman was torn between feeling elation and horror at this news and the others were feeling much the same as they did every time Lena announced she was chosen for a mission. On one hand, they were thrilled with excitement for her knowing how much she loved _her job_ and working in space, the incredible discoveries being made and yet on the other hand, it was sheer terror and torment for them to watch her leave the planet and in such a dangerous way and then be gone for weeks at a time. Counting the hours until she was home safe and sound and none of them really breathed deeply again until they saw the shuttle land, the chute open and watch as the astronauts slid down to safety put their feet on solid ground again.

"I never thought I'd be able to do this. Be able to actually _be_ a Shuttle Commander before…" Lena shook her head with tears of happiness and fear lurking in her eyes, speaking softly and holding intently with Arman's before flashing around to her mother. They all knew what she meant without saying it. _Lena never thought she'd be able to live out this dream of actually making it far enough in the space program to become a Shuttle Commander given she was the Tsarevicha._

"Congratulations." Everyone began smiling at her with pride and tears.

"When would you be going?" Arman asked swallowing hard trying to find his voice and remembering she said something about 'fall.' They were supposed to be getting married in the 'fall' at the end of September.

"Right before the wedding." Lena answered softly, "I'd leave for my extended training the beginning of August with the launch scheduled for the beginning of September. I'd return September 19th."

"So we'd have to move the wedding." Arman sighed quietly with a flash of sadness in his eyes and tone that was hard to miss.

"No." Lena answered immediately palming the side of his face and catching his gaze with a smile. "We don't. I will be home and I will marry you on September 26th, just as we planned."

"Lena, that only gives you one week and-" Arman tried to shake his head softly, believing she was trying to push it too much and not wanting her to be sick or exhausted come their wedding day.

"And, I will be fine. That is plenty of time. A wedding of this nature will be planned down to the smallest of detail months before it actually happens." Lena's eyes flashed to her mother who was nodding softly in agreement about that detail and that her trip into space wouldn't hamper or delay any last minute wedding planning anyway. "We can talk about it more later." She offered him quietly, already feeling badly they hadn't had a chance to discuss it in private before, especially now seeing his upset over the idea. She'd not expected this reaction from him at all. He seemed so supportive during her last mission into space and never said anything then about having reservations about her going. In fact, he seemed excited for her about everything involved with it before hand, except for how long they would be separated and the actual danger involved in such a mission. But she thought he had understood that, as a submariner himself, the danger involved and accepting the risk to do something you loved so passionately. For him it was to ride beneath the sea and for her amongst the stars. It was something they had in common and looking at him now, she grew concerned that it had somehow changed. "Okay?" She asked as he hadn't responded at all to her suggestion they could discuss it more thoroughly in private later and Arman nodded, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss to her forehead with hand holding the back of her neck and then staring into her eyes.

"How about we bring out the cake and champagne?" Dmitri suggested as the wise grandfather of the group, wanting to ease the sudden tension and nerves they were all feeling in both excitement and fear at the prospect of Lena once again going into space. "Sing _Happy Birthday_ to our Dear Tsarevicha Lena, and celebrate so many wonderful blessings this year." He added looking right at Arman as the best blessing of all having come into Lena's life and then to Isabella and Nicholas who were expecting their first baby any day now. "We have much to be thankful for."

They had tried in the past years to concentrate once more on all the good things in their lives during this time of year that was full of mixed feelings in celebrating Lena's birthday and also the losses of her Antony's. Her birthday had always been a bit of a landmine for her and everyone else since the accident years ago. They knew this year was already markedly different for Lena just in seeing her happy and smiling again.

Just after singing Happy Birthday and Lena blew out the candles on her cake, Isabella went into labor just as they popped the cork on the champagne to make a toast to Lena. Six hours later at three in the morning on November 16th, Antony Dmitri Marcelo was born weighing 6lbs 9 oz and 21 inches long. The fact that he was born at almost the exact same hour that Antony and the baby had died in the car accident five years before was not lost on anyone and only brought a surge of new tears.

Isabella and Nicholas asked Lena if it would be okay to name him after both 'her' Antony's and she responded with, "Of course…I think its perfect," through a smile and raging tears holding the tiny baby boy in her arms that looked almost exactly like her own lost son and exactly like his uncle Antony.

Looking at him in her arms and then over to Arman, she couldn't help but think of the fact this baby had been conceived on the same day Angelina had passed away and exactly nine months later, was born on the day that Antony and her baby had also been taken…this little baby she was holding now, was a gift back to them and she felt a strong connection to him from the first moment she held him.

Both she and Arman were asked to be godparents along with Jaxx and Mia. His name was Antony, but they would call him _Dmitri_, Dmi for short after his first middle name. They wanted him to be named for his beloved Papa, her brother, and his best friend and their nephew but to have his own identity as well, not to mention it would be asking too much of Lena in having to call this baby who looked like her own lost child by the same name and thus, was agreed upon immediately in a private conversation between Nicholas and Isabella that they would call him _Dmi_.

* * *

When Lena and Arman finally made it back to his apartment in the city in the very early hours of the morning, the silence hung between them once again with so many thought swirling through their minds about all that had transpired in the past 24 hours to drastically change their lives again. Lena was once again going into space, but just before their wedding and was asked to the Commander of the Shuttle, a tremendous responsibility and requiring a great deal more out of her in terms of focus and training time. And then, there was the arrival of another Antony, a baby who looked so much like her own.

Arman couldn't help but think of how much _Antony_ still seemed permeate so much of Lena's life on her birthday and wondered if he always would. This day, more than any other he felt Antony's presence everywhere. Arman knew it was irrational but he couldn't help but feel as though the man were somehow re-staking his claim over Lena from somewhere in Heaven again on this night by first, '_giving her the gift of the moon and the stars_' again, by offering her the chance to fulfill her dream of becoming a Shuttle Commander on this day and then, with the birth of his namesake, a nephew to both he and Lena that represented a bloodline and a link in a baby that had been so tragically lost and represented new hope and promise for the future.

He knew it was ridiculous to be upset about these things and it was likely his fear of losing Lena projected onto other things but he couldn't help feeling this way. The day had started with such happiness in waking together, making love to the woman he loved and hearing her laugh and seeing her smile again for nearly the entire day until the evening arrived, when the mood turned into another ride on an emotional rollercoaster.

Seeing Lena with the newborn baby in her arms and smiling through her tears stirred something inside of him that he hadn't really thought about so deeply before, or realized how badly he wanted it. A family with her, a child with her. The idea excited him and lit his heart on fire with joy that it was all within his reach now, their happiness. She had said yes, and they were getting married. About to start their lives together and he couldn't help but fear losing it all when it was just within his grasp if something happened to her.

Lena watched him carefully pulling off his tie and slipping out of his shoes as they stood in the bathroom together, getting ready for bed. She knew he was upset. Deeply so and it scared her to feel him pulling away like this again, reminding her of that night he did leave and how close she came to losing him.

"I won't go, if you don't want me to." She finally spoke and caught his reflection suddenly in the mirror.

"I want you to do whatever makes you happy." He answered her quietly, staring into her eyes reflection and then looking away as he pulled off his shirt.

"You make me happy." Lena stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him from behind and holding tightly; kissing his shoulder blade and then brushing her face gently against his smooth skin inhaling his scent and looking at him again in the mirror. "I love space and I love the work I do there. But none of that…means more than my life with you. You are my life now…and if you really don't want me to go, then I won't." She paused and kissed his skin once more. "I don't want to lose you."

Arman sighed deeply seeing the new tears flooding unshed in her eyes and felt the same ones stinging his own as they stare at each other for a moment in the mirror's reflection. He turned in her arms and cupped her face gently, thumbing away the tears she failed to hold back. "And I, don't want to lose you." He kissed her softly against her lips and pulled back. "I'm afraid of something happening to you when we're so close to having everything we've ever wanted. I can't help it. Losing Ang… I'm just afraid to lose you too."

"You won't lose me. I love you, Arman… to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth. Forever and always…" Lena spoke quietly with new tears rolling down her face at saying that to him for the first time and knowing it was true. As much as she loved the moon and space and studying the stars above, nothing meant more to her than being with the man she loved now. "I will come back. I always come back. I promised Mama that, years ago before my first mission and every single one since, _to the moon and back…_ But if you really don't want me to go, then I won't. They can take my cells and Mama's and I won't go."

"I want you to go." He sighed kissing her forehead again and then pulling her into his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin as they held each other. "You are my Space Critter, after all. The moon and flying and science is as much a part of you as anything else, I know that now. As much as being the Tsarevicha or your love of running…_Space_, is literally in your blood." He smiled thinking about her cells transformation in space and how they' thrived. He smiled brushing his nose with hers gently. "You were a cosmonaut when I fell in love with you. And I love you, exactly the way you are. I don't want to change that or take that away."

"You're not taking it away. I'm offering to stay-" Lena tried again with new tears, pulling back slightly to look at him.

"No," Arman shook his head with a teary eyed smile, cupping her face gently. "I want you to go. I do. I'm so proud of you for being given the opportunity to fulfill another one of your dreams as Shuttle Commander. You deserve this. And I agree with your mother and sister. This is part of your destiny, Lena. She may be _The Chosen One_ who gave you the genetics, but it was you who took them into space to explore their potential for all mankind. You are amazing. I can't tell you how proud I am and humbled, that you chose me. That you love me." He added quietly. "I can't wait to marry you, to really start our lives together. I just can't lose you."

"I can't wait to marry you, either. I love you." She cried softly with a smile. "You won't lose me. I promise." She kissed him quickly feeling her heart pounding with the same fear of losing him and pressed her chest against his. "To the moon _and back_."

"A month's long training before a near three week mission in space, just days before our wedding." Arman sighed with a smile hugging her tightly, realizing that his life was going to be anything but dull marrying into this family of extraordinary beings. "That's a long time to be separated from you when even an hour right now without being able to look at you, touch you, or kiss you seems like agony." He ran his fingertips down the side of her face with one hand still holding her close. "I thought I was going to die during your last mission without any contact." The ache had literally been unbearable, something he'd only ever felt after Angelina had died and she was just suddenly gone from his every day life. With Lena in space, it felt much the same way…too far away, completely out of reach and there was nothing he could do about it.

"It won't be like last time." Lena shook her head softly thinking how differently their lives were even just six months ago. "I'm sorry for that, it was unbearable for me as well and I'm sorry." New tears fell from her eyes thinking about the painful torture of separation they endure because she hadn't been ready to let go yet and embrace her life with him fully. "This time, I will be calling you every day. And I was thinking, I hoped, that you would want to come with me when I had to leave, so we didn't have to be apart for so long. We could rent a house on the beach for the month of August while I do my training near The Cape and then," She swallowed hard looking into his eyes and taking another step in embracing her future, "I thought we could go to _The Beach House_, in the days before the launch. What do you think?"

Arman knew about _The Beach House_ and he knew what great significance this held with Lena asking him to do this with her. "You want me to stay with you at _The Beach House_ before the launch? With the other crew members and their families? All of us together?"

"Yes. All together." Lena smiled at him seeing how much it meant to him as well. To no longer be hidden in the shadows of her life. "I love you, Arman."

* * *

_February 2026_

In February, the _Winter Olympics_ were held in Stockholm and Vaughn, Weiss and Mikhail all lived their dreams out in one way or another. The year before, Irina had asked them if they would like to take over as the Head and Assistant Coaches of the _Imperial Russian Hockey Team_. Vaughn sat quite stunned for a moment when she first sat him down in her den and asked him if _he'd like to take over the best hockey team in the world_ and he answered her finally by screaming with joy and jumping around the desk pulling her out of the chair and picking her up twirling around with tears of happiness.

Weiss's reaction had been almost identical and Mikhail was thrilled to be able to coach alongside his son. The experience was made all that much more special with the fact they were coaching Nicholas, Jaxx, and Felix while Gustavo and roman were playing for the Swedish Team adding to the competitive fun and Mitchell of the United States having all grown up playing hockey together.

The final came down to Russia versus Sweden in a rapid paced brutal game that was close until the last minute when Gustav scored the winning goal for the Swedes giving them Olympic Gold though no one on the Russian side were too disappointed in losing to their cousins and a fabulous team.

Vaughn's only comment made in jest was that the Swedes winning goal came from a 'Russian' so they were still happy.

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia –Alexander Palace - July 2026_

"Happy Birthday Daddy." Lena kissed him and held Jack tightly as she and Arman stood in the foyer ready to leave.

"Thank you Peanut." Jack held her a little more tightly and kissed her head while everyone said their goodbyes after the combined birthday parties for both Jack and Ria.

Lena and Arman were leaving for the United States to begin her month long training prior to her mission.

"I love you. Safe trip." Jack added getting choked up as he held onto her a little longer.

"I love you, too, Dad-dy." Lena added quietly into his ear, changing her pitch into a singsong like voice and saying his name the way she used to as a toddler knowing how much he loved it. When she pulled back, she could see the effect it had on her father as he blinked back a new flush of tears. "I'll be okay. Like I promised Mama a long time ago…" Her eyes shifted towards her mother standing beside her father and waiting to hug her goodbye as the last before going, "To the moon and back. I'll be back." She added quietly and then lunged at her mother, wrapping her arms tightly around Irina's neck and inhaling her scent. "I love you, Mama. To the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens…"

"And the grains of sand on Earth. Forever and always." Irina finished quietly with a tear filled smiled holding Lena tightly. "I love you." She inhaled a shaking breath holding on a little tighter, "As proud as I am of you, as your mother, I can't stand to watch you launch off the planet."

It was the one place that Irina knew she couldn't get to her child if Lena were in danger. In all the years she was separated from Sydney, she always knew that if her eldest daughter really needed her, she could get to her, help her no matter how far apart they were living in countries on opposite sides of the world. But with Lena in space, there was no way Irina could get to her. Once Lena left Earth's atmosphere, she was on her own and it was unbearable, more so with every trip Lena had taken into space. Watching her leave for a fourth time was threatening to undo Irina the closer the time came to say goodbye with the amount of anxiety she was feeling.

"Last time, Mama. I promise." Lena pulled back holding her mother's gaze intently with a soft smile to see the surprise in Irina's eyes and hear it from the others around her with their small gasps.

Lena knew how unbearable it was for her mother and all her family to see her leave on such dangerous missions. She never thought she'd be able to make it this far, to see this dream become a reality and after speaking with Arman that night, and knowing that he too found it unbearable given his own losses in life, Lena made the decision that this would be her final mission into space. Her dream there had become a reality with making it so far as to become a Shuttle Commander and to contribute so much to the space program and fields of medicine and science, she had exceeded this dream. And when she returned, her new dreams would be begin. Those with Arman and making a life together, never to be separated longer than they had to ever again. Lena could see the question in her mother's eyes and everyone else's with how she had come to this decision.

"This will be my final trip into space. My dreams there will have come true as the Shuttle Commander of this flight. The Lunar Project is highly successful with tremendous results in research. I'll still continue to work with the program, of course," Her eyes shifted with a smile to Arman standing beside her father, "But with my feet on the ground. Everything I could want or need…" She emphasized the word with a smile knowing its significance, "Is here. This is my dream now." She added softly staring intently into Arman's eyes as if they were the only two people in the room.

Lena walked towards him the last two steps and sealed her promise with a sweet kiss while the others watching them smiled widely with new tears to hear and see such progress from Lena. She had found her happiness and future. To hear her say that she was giving up 'space,' something she loved with great passion, for her new dreams with Arman… was incredibly moving for them all, and especially Arman.

Arman knew that Lena loved him, and she was gradually breaking down the walls that held back that love by letting it out more and more as the time went by, pushing past her fears and embracing their life and love together openly and unafraid. To hear her declare such love for him now, to her entire family and their friends, and by giving up the one passion that had sustained her since she lost her Antony's, _space_, and for her future with him, moved him beyond words as her lips landed softly against his, sealing her promise with a kiss.

"I told you," Arman held her face gently with one hand looking into her eyes and speaking softly, "You didn't have to give up space flight for me. I love you as you are, Space Critter." He added with a soft smile and laugh, causing those around them to do the same with his nickname for her.

"I know. But I want to." Lena answered him with tear filled eyes and a smile falling all the more in love with him each time he looked at her like this, and wanted her to be happy even if it hurt him in the process, which is why she had made this decision in loving him the same. "As much as you're afraid to lose me to space, I don't want to lose _me either_." She added with a soft chuckle trying to make light of the dangerous truth in that statement. "I want to come home to you. To our life together, Arman. I have too much to lose now, to keep taking the risk of flying in space. So this is the last time. Those dreams of mine will be fulfilled… and time for _our_ dreams to begin together." She spoke quietly and missed the tears now running silently from her family's eyes around her in hearing her say that, 'that she had found her reason to _want_ to live and something to come home to' knowing how long Lena had wished for death to take her away from it all, in so much pain for so long.

They left with one last goodbye hug to everyone, with promises of seeing them soon in Las Vegas for their mutual Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties. Lena would be given a few days off at the end of August, just a week prior to the launch before she and Arman would return once again to Florida to spend the last couple of days together with the crew at _The Beach House_ before launching for her final time into space.

"They should be flying over any minute." Irina spoke to the crowd gathered in their backyard a couple of hours later near the garden. She handed Jack another drink before taking a seat in his lap, sharing a lounge chair as they all stare up at the beautiful colored sky of twilight waiting for Lena and Arman to fly over as Lena promised she would do. She was flying a Russian MiG:47 to the United States, logging more flight hours as part of her continued flight training prior to the launch as the Shuttle Commander and also fulfilling a promise made to Arman to take him flying 'someday.' The palace was in the direct path of her flight plan and thus, decided she would give her family one last goodbye by buzzing the palace on her way by.

"Shhh! Listen!" Weiss smiled sitting forward in his chair with Sophia on his lap and hushing the excited group gathered when he heard something. "I hear it coming!"

They all quieted and could hear the faint but rapidly approaching sound of rushing air coming over the tops of the large trees.

"Hold on tight." Lena smiled behind her mask, speaking to Arman riding behind her in the jet and seeing the roofline of the palace before her emerging from the forest of trees.

"Oh my God!" Arman squealed as Lena rolled the plane upside, giving him the ride of his life on his first time flying with her and about to buzz the palace. The sound of her laughter at his terror made him smile in spite of the fear he felt watching the trees so close below blaze by them in a whir with the incredible speed and agility in which she flew the aircraft. His smile grew in pride with Lena's abilities as a pilot when she dipped even lower, flying upside down and was nearly grazing the tops of the trees so low to the ground.

"Don't forget to wave to your mother!" Lena smiled as they broke into the clearing and saw the large group now waving excitedly at them.

"Oh my God!" Weiss reiterated Arman's sentiments when the MiG flew over them, so close it nearly blew them over with the force of the wind and looking up to see both Lena and Arman waving at them as they went by. _"Go Tiger Lilly!"_ He screamed with joy and pumped his fist into the air with pride and laughter as they all cheered in support, some with tears in their eyes knowing this was her last 'adventure' in space flight before beginning the next chapter of her life.

"He looks like he's scared to death and having the time of his life all at the same time." Kendall laughed with Ben who was nodding in agreement at Arman's facial expression as they flew over.

"That's life with a Romanov-Derevko woman." Marcelo added laughing when Vaughn, Weiss, Nikolas and Jack all nodded in agreement.

"She's going to give that man the ride of his life." Kendall shook his head with a smile watching as the _MiG_ began rolling over and over as it disappeared into the sky, climbing higher and higher.

"For the rest of his life." Ben added with a soft laugh thinking about how much Lena was like Irina and the wild ride Irina had taken Jack on through all the years they were together.

"And what a ride it will be." Jack smiled with nothing but love in his eyes looking at Irina, thinking of all they'd been through together, the ups and downs, twists and turns, and how much more he loved her for it.

* * *

**_*Sexyback*_**

_Las Vegas, Nevada- late August 2026_

The elevator doors opened at _The Palms_ and all the men in the vicinity stopped dead in their tracks to see Lena leading the way of the gorgeous pack of women dressed dangerously sexy.

_"Dear god, _I'm having flashbacks to Sydney and Vaughn's bachelor weekend."Kendall's eyes were bulging from his head to see Lena in the red dress that looked almost exactly like the one Irina had worn that night years ago.

"You look amazing…where on earth did you get this dress?" Arman asked with a smile when Lena approached and took a sip of his drink while his fingertip raked down the exposed massive slit down the front of her body. He took pleasure in knowing he was the only man in the world who could get away with doing that and not having their arm broken.

"I saw one Mama had like it once from Sydney's pictures of her own Bachelorette Party and decided I had to have one made like it." She smiled with sexy eyes, "You like?" She asked coyly, knowing full well by the look on his face when he first saw her, he liked it a lot.

"I love." Arman whispered into her ear pulling her closer and letting her feel just how much with a drunken chuckle, "and I will take great pleasure in taking it off of you later."

"I'm counting on it." Lena smiled kissing his lips and finishing off his drink.

"That dress is quite dangerous you know, Tiger Lilly…it caused quite the _Stripper Showdown_ between your parents." Weiss smiled at her biting the olive from his martini with a naughty chuckle and rosy cheeks tinged with alcohol and laughed more deeply catching jack's glare.

_"What?"_ Lena and Nadia both asked with flashing eyes between their parents having never heard this story, "Stripper Showdown? Someone elaborate, please?"

"Let's not." Jack shook his head and signaled another drink for both he and Irina who were studiously not looking at each other at the moment having flashbacks of less then fine behavior. "Many years ago, I was a drunken jealous ass and that's all you need to know." He added shaking his head watching as Weiss mouthed, "I'll tell you later" to the girls.

"Well, I think it ended pretty hilariously with Kendall in bed with Mom." Sydney smiled with a tease trying to lighten the mood while everyone but those who knew the story squealed, 'what' practically spitting out their drinks while Kendall burned bright red.

"Now just wait a minute here, Sydney…" Kendall held up his hands in defense to the mass of the next generation all staring at him and Irina with wide-eyes. "I was simply helping Jack with the situation and removing you from the bed." Some of them had heard the story, others hadn't. "I was not the manipulator here, _he was!"_

"No, but you sure took advantage of the situation in the morning by using our adorable baby to manipulate Judy." Jack smiled over at them with a smirk and everyone died in laughter again.

"I was merely offering to help with Lena seeing as Irina was busy hurling her guts out because of José and the Cowboy and Cossack…My beautiful _future-wife_ was kind enough at the time to help me in turn." Kendall smirked back while Lena, Nadia and Nicholas all shared wild looks that they were all involved in this some how.

"You used Lena as your own powerful tool of persuasion for Judy to let you in." Jack countered with a flash of a smile at his daughter whom he couldn't believe was now grown up and standing before him, looking exactly like her mother in that red dress and here now, for her own Bachelorette Party.

"I did not." Kendall shook his head with a laugh and twinkle in his eye, "I merely heard the horrible retching going on in your room and offered to take the baby from you out of the goodness of my heart." He winked over at Lena, knowing he was busted and making her laugh and shake her head. "Good Lord, do I suddenly feel old," he looked over at the twins, "Considering your mother was pregnant with the two of you, whom are now married with children of your own." He shook his head with a smile. "I need another drink." He smiled more widely with a laugh. "Irina, how about a shot of tequila." Her asked making the others burst into laughter knowing the rest of the story while Weiss, and Vaughn started singing, "_She's got legs and she knows how to use them"_ before the others joined in making both Irina and Jack blush madly.

"Are we going to get to see a replay of that tonight, Rina?" Katya asked with dangerous eyes and a laughing smile while winking at Jack.

"I don't think so." Irina laughed shaking her head. "At least not in public." She winked back at her sister before kissing Jack on the side of his mouth while everyone else groaned or cheered with whistles and laughter.

* * *

**_*Feel This Moment*_**

The younger generation flooded the dance floor of _Club Rain_ after dinner while everyone else watched from above shaking their heads with smiles and laughter.

"My god, I can't get over how much it looks like you dancing down there." Judy shook her head with a smile to Irina watching Lena dance. "And that dress! Heaven help that boy." She laughed sipping her drink watching as Arman stood off to the side with a dazed smile in his drunken shock watching Lena with her sisters, nieces and cousins getting wild in the dance of _Girls versus the Guys_ below them on the dance floor.

"I think Jack better give him some tips on how to _Survive Life with Irina's Mini-Me_," Karen laughed with everyone else laughing at the expression on Jacks' face, really not liking the fact that seeing Lena in almost an exact replica dress like Irina's famous red one and watching her dance with Arman was making it harder to not to think about 'how' much she was like her mother and all that meant.

"My God, man." Arman's friend Rurik slapped him on the chest and squeezed his shoulder with a smile watching Lena and the other girls dancing before them. "She is out of this world." He laughed shaking his head.

"Yes, she is." Arman smiled proudly. "Nothing like her." His smile grew watching Lena smile and hearing her laughter drift across the space between them, "And I'm going to marry her. My alien Space Critter." He laughed with raging smile when Lena's eyes fell to his and she winked at him with a naughty gleam in her eyes before turning her attention back to the girls in front of her.

"How great is it to be here again like this for another wild time with this family? I still remember your Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties like yesterday," Sophia smiled at Sydney and Vaughn, "and to be here having the same wild time now with Lena, at the same age we were then." She shook her head with a raging smile, "I think a definite trip to _Coyote Ugly_ in order…I hear _'American Woman'_ calling." She laughed while Sydney shook her head with deep dimples and laughter.

"Oh yes, definitely!" Weiss laughed slapping Vaughn on the back with excitement and laughter remembering the last time.

"I'll definitely need more liquor for that." Sydney laughed shaking her head and downing her drink, knowing that trip to the dancing bar was inevitable.

* * *

**_*Pour Some Sugar on Me*_**

"Sweet, Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Kendall gasped when the guys made their way into the packed screaming club hours later having separated from the women and now finding them again at the infamous dancing bar.

Lena was currently in the middle dancing and having pitchers of water thrown on her one after another while her hair flew around wildly and everyone screamed.

"Seriously, Good luck, man." Rurik slapped Arman on the chest again with wide-eyes seeing Lena's dance on the bar and currently sliding around the strippers pole at the end driving the crowd wild and then jumping off, sliding back on her knees on the bar and then forward with Anya, Nadia, Ria, Mia, Isabella and Eva.

Nikolas was staring wide-eyed at his wife having never in his life seen Nadia this drunk or wild and he couldn't stop the smile at how gorgeous she looked smiling so widely and having fun with her sisters and cousins getting doused with water as Lena grabbed the hose behind the bar and started spraying all those on the bar with her and then the crowd.

Lena tossed the hose behind her and slid through the sticky liquid on the bar from the water and spilt liquor to the end, arching backwards with chest in the air getting doused with another pitcher of water by Anya and then flying forward shaking the water off with long wild hair only to get hit again with another from Ria.

"Oh dear god," Vaughn gasped when he saw his own gorgeous wife on the end of the bar and slide forward with Lena when she grabbed her hand and Nadia's in a _Trio of Trouble_. From the looks of it, Sydney was quite drunk in her own right but having the time of her life and getting doused from behind by Sophia.

Weiss was squealing with a smile to see his wife wink at him having spotted them and get doused with a healthy dose of water from Nadia. His smile and screams of cheering delight came to a screeching halt with mouth open in shock to see his own baby girl, Mia swing around the strippers pole getting doused with a spray from the bar getting hosed by Ria while hundreds of horny men screamed in delight.

Lena was laughing with a raging smile pouring a shot down some guys throat she had grabbed by the tie and then stood swinging her arm over the edge of the bar to all the mouths screaming and open for a shot of her to 'pour some sugar' on them, and she did, spraying it all over them.

Sydney grabbed the microphone with a naughty look in her eyes and winked at her mother shaking her head furiously with a laughing smile at the end of the bar.

"Excuse me everyone," Sydney spoke over the roar in the bar with a laugh, "We're about to continue a tradition…well not really a tradition yet, but it will be now," she laughed, "in my family and because we're here to celebrate my sister's upcoming marriage, I think she should be the one to carry on the torch…" she smiled as the chair was brought to the end of the middle other 'T' shaped bar.

"Oh no…" Jack gasped while Arman was being ushered towards the bar by his friends and Lena grabbed him by the shirt with a naughty smile pulling him up onto the bar with her and everyone screamed with the first notes of the song being played.

**_*Legs*_**

Lena shoved him back into the chair much to his surprised seeing her soaking wet body with dress stuck to her skin in front of him and the crowd roared when she mounted him face first with tossing her wet hair over her shoulder and pressing her chest into his. Her leg flew up straight beside her with her own impressive flexibility and pressed against the side of his face straight in the air turning his head to the side slowly while the crowd went insane.

Her leg followed through all the way over as she slowly turned on him, grinding down against him until she was sitting on him with legs both together off to the side.

She arched back in front of him while he gripped the sides of the chair with white knuckles and pounding, heaving chest feeling her wet body against his own rapidly growing aroused one and then groaned when she spun fully around with her back to him and swirled her hips slowly and quite suggestively against him sending a roaring surge of screams around the joint with her hands shimming up her own body and then turning rapidly again to face him. Both of her legs with high heeled sandals perched at the end of her perfect limbs locked around his neck while she sat up perfectly on him and pulled his head forward with them to kiss him roughly and then bite his lip drawing blood and sending a fiery bolt of intense passion straight to his groin.

She continued to give him the lap dance of insanity that had jaws dropping to the floor including her mother and Katya while leaving Jack practically in a coma. The men her in family were speechless with unblinking eyes and when she finished and stood about to walk away, Arman grabbed her around the waist crashing her body into his and kissing her soundly before they both jumped off the stage and immediately made their rapid exit holding hands with clear intent in Lena's eyes to finish their dance in private with a ear piercing roar going through the bar at their hotness.

Their family and friends they'd just deserted looked across the room at each other in stunned awe before breaking out into mad laughter that the bride and groom to be had just left their own parties to party together.

Kendall and Jack both had hardly said a word after and all through breakfast with ashen looks on their faces of disbelief as the images of Irina and Lena congealed into one forever in their minds and became a horrifying thought to those who wanted to always see Lena as their 'little girl.'

Neither could hardly look at her the next day at lunch especially after Arman removed his t-shirt to get in the pool later in the day, without thinking and revealing that he was missing several layers of skin in perfect deep claw marks with his back shredded looking as though he honestly was attacked by a tiger and further horrifying her father and brothers, though her aunt and cousin Sophia roared with laughter and bought Lena a drink for her efforts at keeping up her mother's legacy.

Another relationship occurred following in their _Vegas Legacy of Love_ tradition when Arman's friend Rurik, who had been flirting with Anya something fierce from the moment they'd met, finally won her over and it was clear quite soon to everyone they had found their own spark of passionate electricity. Arman assured, her nervous brother Jaxx, who was quite protective, that he'd never heard Rurik talk about a girl the way he spoke about Anya…he was in love and deeply so.

* * *

**_*Launch *_**

_Cape Canaveral, Florida - Neptune Beach, The Beach House_

Lena woke first their last morning together and lay for a long time awake with her ear pressed against Arman's chest, listening to his heart beating. Her fingertip drew lazy patterns over his smooth skin as a million thoughts raced through her mind. Tonight she would launch into space for the final time, her last mission and leading the team as the Shuttle Commander. She thought about all that she'd been through to get her to this moment and all that lay before her in hopes for her future. A smile graced her lips when she felt Arman's fingers run gently through her hair and down her back letting her know he was awake now, too.

The last two days together at the Beach House with the rest of the crew had been incredible and their time alone, even more memorable knowing that these were some of the last moments they'd have together not only before being separated by her mission, but also before they were to be married upon her return. Each touch, kiss and caress was slow and memorized, cherished as they took their time making love for the last time in the early morning hours before her departure.

"I love you, Lena." Arman broke the silence first by speaking quietly, his fingers stilling on her naked skin and palming her back feeling her thundering heart beneath his touch.

"I love you." Lena turned on his chest to look into his eyes with a smile. Leaning forward she kissed him lightly, "I can't wait to marry you." Her smile grew as he pulled her down to kiss her deeply one more time.

"Here we go." Lena smiled with a confident head nod to the rest of her team as the large door before them began rising later in the evening. The thunderous roar of the crowd gathered to say _Goodbye_ and _Godspeed_ greeted them as they walked forward proudly in their bright orange flight suits with Lena leading the way this time as Shuttle Commander. They waved to their loved ones in the bleachers as they passed them by on the way to the bus that would take them to the shuttle named _Luna_.

To her family, Lena had never looked more grown up or mature and confident. Her poise and grace as she led her mixed team of internationals from Russia, the United States, Israel, Pakistan and Iran brought many around the world to tears as they all watched eagerly to see such unity and the progress of peace amongst the former enemy nations, carrying the best and brightest into the future with the research they were doing '_for_ _all mankind_.' That Lena was leading the doctors and scientists who would be studying her body's genetics and biology on this mission with hopes for new cures and treatments, and her willingness to be subjected to such grueling tests for the betterment of everyone else, earned her high praise around the world. She continually and humbly brushed off such praise saying it was a group effort and instead gave credit to her mother and those responsible for creating such a program, and to those on her team who performed the research. For her teams continued shifting of praise and unwillingness to accept any credit for themselves in their interviews, the Press had given them the nickname of _The Musketeers _and the motto now sewn into their Mission Patch read, "_All for one, and one for all_." With Lena being the '_one_' and with her insistence, that she was doing it for '_all'_ just as her mother had done.

When the astronauts were strapped in and ready for launch, the communications between the shuttle crew and Launch Control once again were broadcast around the world for everyone to hear, eagerly awaiting the spectacular lift off at night.

_"Luna, this is Launch Control, radio check. Over." _

_"Launch Control, this is Luna. Commander Bristow, over."_ Lena's voice responded over the loudspeaker and a thunderous round of cheering went up around the world to hear her voice answering back as the Shuttle Commander and mission leader for the first time.

_"Commander Bristow_…" Jack repeated with instant tears of pride in his eyes to hear reply and the name given. He knew it would likely be the last time she would be addressed as such given that she was to be married upon her return.

"I know." Irina cried beside him with a smile of pride as well.

"Our baby grew up." Weiss added crying through his own smile and shaking his head in awe looking at the massive shuttle in the distance lit up spectacularly and coming to life preparing to lift off.

_"Our baby?"_ Jack's eyes flashed to his around Irina with an accusing and teasing tone.

"Yes, Jack." Kendall answered beside him, catching everyone's attention and never taking his eyes from the shuttle, trying to hide the glistening tears of pride welling in his own eyes. "She's all our baby." He felt Judy wrap her arms around his waist and he lifted his arm to pull her in closer. Lena was all of their baby, the child they all watched come into this world, the one that brought them all together and had watched her joys, triumphs and struggles as she grew into the beautiful young woman she was now.

Irina smiled at Jack hearing Kendall's declaration and seeing all the nodding heads around them in agreement of how everyone felt about Lena, their baby, their '_light_' who had brought so much joy to the lives of others and now stood with them watching her lead her team on a mission of a different kind with so much hope and promise for the future. They all felt as though they helped to raise her and it was with such pride that they watched her step into her own now.

With the burners ignition the tears started flowing from all of their eyes as the countdown began.

_"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one… and we have lift off!"_ The controller's voice counted down with them and everyone cheered loudly seeing the shuttle rising into the night sky. "_Luna_ _has cleared the tower. She's all yours Houston."_

_"Luna, this is Mission Control. The tower has been cleared. Engines look good. Beginning roll maneuver." The Flight Director instructed and they all held their breath watching as the shuttle began rolling over and over rocketing out of the atmosphere._

"_Control this Luna_," Lena's voice once again answered back, _"We have reached Mach 1." _

Irina reached down and held Arman's hand tightly, knowing they both needed the extra support watching as Lena flew further and further away.

As the rocket boosters fell away from the shuttle and began their plummet back to earth, the light in the sky grew dimmer until a bright flash of light exploded across the sky signaling they'd broken through the barrier and had left Earth's atmosphere.

"Houston, the Luna Crew are among the stars." Lena announced with a clear smile in her voice and the crowd cheered loudly as did everyone watching on television around the world.

"Luna, begin on-orbit operations." The Flight Director answered with a smile to hear them arriving safely on the other side.

"Roger, Houston." Lena answered back unbuckling from her seat and removing her helmet.

**_*Somewhere Over the Rainbow_**

"Okay, this one's for Dad-_dy_." Lena smiled winking at the camera broadcasting their mission as the song began to play, this time in dedication to her father.

Jack couldn't stop the flow of silent tears and crossed his arms over his chest, staring up at the dark sky listening with everyone else to the song Lena had dedicated to him, the song he always sang to her since she was a baby and now the rest of the world was singing along with it as it rang down from the heavens over the loudspeaker.

Irina wrapped her arms around Jack, kissing his cheek and snuggling into his side. _"Dreams really do come true…"_ She repeated the lyrics quietly into his ear, smiling with her own tears in thinking about their own dreams coming true as well as Lena's.

"Yes they do." Jack answered her, unfolding his arms so that he could wrap them around Irina, kissing her forehead and then lips. "Three weeks." He sighed thinking about how long Lena would be up there, and knowing that neither he or Irina would get much sleep during that time frame as they never had before.

Irina smiled staring up at the sky as well, seeing the bright full moon shining down on them and leading Lena towards it one final time, "Three weeks…for the rest of her life."

* * *

_Two weeks later… Moscow, Russia – RASA (Russian Aviation and Space Agency) Medical Lab_

"Ready, Your Majesty?" The medical assistant smiled at Irina as he finished securing the last electrode to her chest over her heart.

"How do you feel?" Dr. Ryan Peterson asked standing beside the treadmill and Irina with a smile. His clipboard tucked beneath his arm and glancing over at the crowd of family gathered to watch her and then to the wide movie screen sized television before them broadcasting Lena in the _Lunar Station_ on the moon being hooked up the same way. The film crew standing off to the side of Irina looked nearly as nervous as she did with everyone feeling something crackle through the air knowing they were going to be witnessing something amazing.

"Like I have the most amazing adrenaline rush of my life." Irina answered him with a smile and blew out a long breath with her blood humming through her veins. "I'm ready."

"You can do it, Mama. You can beat her!" Nicholas smiled widely with an encouraging head nod and soft laugh.

"I don't think it's a competition, Sweetheart." Irina answered shaking her head looking at her daughter on the screen before her and seeing Lena was nearly finished being attached to the same body monitoring electrodes that she had been.

"In this family?" Katya laughed with a wide smile and disbelief in her tone, "Everything is a competition. Even medical testing."

"I can't wait to see how your body will perform in the last 25 years since we did this." Ryan smiled thinking back to the last time they tested Irina this way in the secret sub-levels of the CIA. "Given the time you've had to rest and let your body heal, your numbers are already phenomenal. Seeing how far you can run and the speed you can maintain with this blood should be spectacular."

Irina's blood that had been taken into space with Lena had shown the same evolution of enhanced hemoglobin that Lena's had in space, even outside of Irina's body and as part of their comparative research and testing, was sent back to Earth just a two days ago via a messenger missile transport from the Lunar Station. When it was recovered, Irina was given her own blood back to her in a transfusion and was now being monitored around the clock with internal and external body monitors to see how her body was reacting to the enhanced blood as Lena's was being monitored in space.

"I'm totally on _Team Chosen One_." Weiss smiled with an enthusiastic head nod.

"Yeah, but Lena has the added benefit of actually being in space." Sydney countered with a smile, "That gives her the edge here. With her body and bloods ability to constantly renew up there, she will likely outlast Mom's endurance as her blood begins to wane. So my money's on _Team Space Critter._" She winked at Arman with a smile using the name he'd given her sister that was aptly appropriate in this situation.

"Not to discredit my beautiful Tiger Lilly and her amazing-ness, but… come on, Syd! She's _The Chosen One!" _He nodded towards Irina with a giant smirk. "My money is still on her to pull something amazing off."

"Mine too." Julian nodded with a smile. "Definitely. Especially after the latest reports." The most recent round of tests done on Irina prior to the blood transfusion said that her body's _actual_ age was that of someone in their late thirties instead the real age she was in her early seventies. "Self-sustaining cell regeneration in _The Chosen One_ has the edge." He laughed softly disagreeing with his sister.

"Ah, but Lena has the self-sustaining cell regeneration, as well and she's still only twenty-five and is in space!" Nadia countered getting in on this betting action between her siblings in speaking about their mother and sister. "I'd have to agree with Sydney, Lena is going to have the edge when it comes to endurance given that she's in space."

"Well see about that. I guess it's the sisters for Lena and the brothers for Mama." Nicholas smiled at them while everyone else laughed at their discussion.

**_*Protectors of the Earth *_**

"Ready, Commander?" The American astronaut, Dr. Matthew Chance asked of Lena as one of the Mission Specialists and researchers on this mission.

"I'm ready." Lena nodded and then smiled seeing the screen before her and her mother already waiting to begin. She waved at her family who were all waving back at her and blew a kiss to them, winking at Arman with a smile. "Ready Mama?" She asked and the world watching and listening fell a little bit more in love with Lena in hearing her speak so candidly and lovingly to her mother with her informal address of the woman the world thought of as mostly _the powerful Tsar of Russia. _

"I'm ready." Irina answered with a smile and slight nod of her head finishing her last stretches.

"Five, four, three, two, one…" Ryan counted down and the clock began with the treadmills speeding into action. "And they're off!"

With feet thundering under both of them the speed gradually increased until both were flat out sprinting as hard as they could in this test of graduated speed and endurance with the same simulated course of ascents, descents, and long stretches of flat terrain and told to run as fast as they could until they could run no more. The same fluids and nutrients given to both through an IV to maintain hydration so they wouldn't have to stop.

"Unbelievable." Alexei marveled at them with pride when they were still sprinting at the maddening average pace of three minute and seven second miles six hours later.

"They're averaging twenty miles an hour and have just passed 120 miles while maintaining this speed." Ryan smiled with the same bewildered amazed expression looking over Irina's vitals. "Her heart is thundering at 200 beats per minute and shows no signs of exhaustion with adequate oxygenation. She's still maintaining the ratio of six times the normal hemoglobin concentration in both muscle fiber and red blood cell saturation. Lena's is as well." He marveled reading Lena's stats posted beside Irina's for comparison. "This is just…"

"Unbelievable." Alexei stated again with a large smile. "How are you feeling, Child?" He asked Irina who was ringing wet with sweat, pony tail flying wildly behind her and looking exactly like Lena on the screen opposite of them with neither looking the least bit tired.

"I'm fine." Irina answered with a smile and the same amazement they were all feeling at her bodies ability to keep moving at such a maddening pace and Lena's as well, having never done so like this before without at least feeling tired and never at being able to maintain such a pace.

"You've got to see this!" Marshall ran into the room with a wide smile on his face having gone to get a coffee in the cafeteria with Carrie, Vaughn and Sydney. He flipped one of the television monitors onto the news channel they'd seen on the floor below, "Look! They've all started running! All around the world!"

"They're calling it the _Marathon for All Mankind_." Carrie added with the same amazed smile.

"They're running with you, Mom. For however far and long that you and Lena run, groups of people around the world are running as far as they can as well. In a relay or sorts with new groups taking over when the others can't run anymore." Sydney smiled with raging pride seeing her mother's eyes and Lena's both, taking in this information and seeing the news footage of people banding together around the world to run with them. "There is a group running from St. Petersburg to Moscow."

"And another from Los Angeles to San Francisco." Marshall added with a smile, "And, and another from New York City to Washington, D.C."

"And another from Paris to Le Mans." Vaughn smiled widely shaking his head as the news flashed through all the countries with runners.

"And from Rome to Naples…" Katya gasped seeing her second home flashing before the screen as well and then laughing at seeing many with shirts reading either _Team Tsar_ or _Team Tsarevicha_ blazoned across the front, with "For All Mankind" written beneath as the world apparently had taken sides in this bet of the best as well. "My God, look at them all…" She shook her head at the millions of people around the world sharing in the excitement of this mission in space "For All Mankind" with the hope of new health discoveries being made.

"Look! They're running from Athens to Tripolis!" Nadia smiled with pride and kissing her husband excitedly that her new home country of Greece was joining in as well. "And Alexandria to Cairo!" She jumped with excitement seeing Egypt joining in as well.

They all laughed out loud seeing the scientists and researchers in Antarctica running on the ice in their bundled snow suits and gear, wanting to join the world in their own crazy way at running along with Irina and Lena 'for all mankind.'

Jack shook his head with amazement and shared a knowing smile with Ben and Kendal in absolute awe. Not since Man first landed on the Moon had the world joined together in such a historic and massive way to celebrate man's achievement and excitement for the future.

"She really has brought _peace_." Kendall spoke quietly with arms folded over his chest contemplating Irina's name and Rambaldi's Prophecy. With one finger tracing his lips he watched the television news reports, and eyes flashing over to see Irina thundering away and running her heart out with Lena doing the same nearly half a million miles away. The world had changed so much in the last 25 years, in large part thanks to Irina and her incredible efforts to lead and bring peace not only to her own country but throughout the world. Leading them into a whole new age of prosperity and with Lena, discovery. What was taken from Irina over the course of her life, she had given back ten-fold and then some.

"She really is… _extraordinary_." Judy added with a raging smile and emphasizing the word with eyes locking onto Jack's, sharing a silent message of agreement and memory, remembering Jack's description of Irina so long ago.

"Yes, she is." Jack smiled with pride shaking his head in awe as well to see his beautiful wife mirrored through the television in their daughter, running with the same perfect form and matching each other stride for stride. Their ponytails even seemed to be swaying behind them in the exact same manner.

"They look like they're having so much fun." Lara smiled standing beside her mother watching the television screens of the runners around the world who were gaining their own followings with cheering crowds encouraging them along the streets.

"You should join them." Irina huffed with a smile as she continued to run. "Much more fun than watching me on a treadmill." She smiled more widely. "Go!" She nodded at her granddaughter who was a runner like she and Lena and could see her itching to run with them in some way.

"Okay." Lara beamed brightly, "Mama, will you run with me, too?" She asked Sydney nearly bouncing with excitement.

"Of course." Sydney smiled thinking this sounded like fun as well. "I think if they're running with Mom and Lena to show support, we should too. The whole family." She emphasized the word. "You too, Little Brother." She nudged Julian feeling the sparks of their old rivalry in running return with a new challenge.

"You're on." Julian smiled with a nod. "Let's go."

"We can run towards the group coming from St. Petersburg. Meet them halfway and take turns to cover the distance." Sydney reasoned knowing that they couldn't run anywhere near the distance her mother and sister could. A marathon distance was the most they could handle in one day. It was 400 miles between St. Petersburg and Moscow. They only had to run 200 miles if they were to meet the teams coming from St. Petersburg and she knew that she could at least run 25 miles twice if she had a good break and rest between, trading off with the others running. "You first." She smiled at Arman surprising him that he was being included and not only included in this Imperial Family showing and effort, but the first put on the front lines of such an undertaking. "You are the Olympic Marathon runner after all." Sydney teased him, wrapping her arm around his waste. "This should be a piece of cake for you."

"I'll give it my best." Arman smiled widely with eyes flashing to Lena's through the screen and seeing her smile light her face that he was going to run as well. "I love you, Space Critter." He spoke with her as if they were the only two in the room instead of their conversation being broadcast around the world on the Space Agency television link.

"I love you, Sailor." Lena smiled and her heart picked up speed running even faster.

"I told you this would end up a competition." Katya laughed shaking her head seeing the world now partaking in this medical experiment as well. "I can't run like the wind but I can drive the beverage cart on this little journey across Russia." She offered with a smile, "Who's riding with me?"

"I will!" Karen, Judy, Kristin and Ann all volunteered themselves with a laugh.

"Husbands, lets go." Judy waved the other men to follow the group leaving the room after wishing both Lena and Irina well. "Jack, are you coming too?" She asked with a knowing smile already what his answer would be.

"As much fun as I'm sure you're all bound to have, I'm afraid I must decline. I go, where she goes." Jack smiled with eyes flashing towards Irina, not about to leave her side in this for one second. "My Love is here and thus I remain." He held his hand briefly over his heart and the others all awed in his romantic gesture while the men smiled shaking their heads. "Have a good time. I'll look for you on the news."

The news spread quickly of the rest of the Imperial Family joining in on the "_Run For All Mankind_" and soon, more and more people around the world began joining in on the fun feeling inspired with charities and individuals making donations for running contributions towards the _Romanov Genetics Project_ and their continued search for cures and treatments.

Lena couldn't help but laugh watching the same news footage and seeing many groups of people from around the world having so much fun taking part and wearing shirts that read _Team Tsarevicha_ or dressed like the Musketeers as they ran with the motto of _"All for one, and one for all"_ blazoned somewhere in body paint over their skin. Her own heart once again began to thunder when the television crews followed Arman running his heart out on the Russian forests during his section of the run, breaking even his own Olympic pace with his efforts and proving to the world he was in his own right, a spectacular being who would have no doubt won Gold in the last Olympics if he hadn't had to withdraw from the injury he sustained while trying to help Lena. Many of the news commentators made comments about such a thing as they watched him running and Lena's heart dipped in sadness that he'd lost that dream because of her.

Irina felt the dip in emotion in her daughter's heart hearing the same comments and smiled more widely feeling Lena's heart pick up speed and race again with happiness and love when another commentator added that she was, '_certain that Arman didn't care about losing the Gold medal anymore during those Olympics as he ended up with something that meant a great deal more to him, Lena. He may have lost the Gold medal but he found love with her and would now be spending the rest of their lives together getting married as soon as she returned from this mission.' _

**_*Girl on Fire*_**

After twelve grueling hours at their insane pace, both Lena and Irina began to slow but forged on.

"How are they doing?" Katya asked Marcelo calling her from her mobile phone to ask how Lena and Irina were holding up. She was about to hand a bottle of water to Lara who was just finishing her section of 25 miles. The last call she'd made several hours ago to check in, Irina and Lena both had slowed their pace to five-minute miles but have covered more than 380 miles, and had been running non-stop for more than twenty-four hours now without rest.

"They are both slowing down but Lena cannot continue much longer." Marcelo answered and could imagine Katya's smile with the news, having such absolute belief in her sister even against the odds. "Lena is determined to make it past 400 miles and I'm sure she will. She only has 20 more miles to go to pass it." He smiled.

"What's the news?" Sydney asked with Arman beside her in the SUV, with Lara running behind them. They couldn't wait for Katya to finish her phone call, too excited as they were near their destination of making it to the half-way point of 200 miles and meeting with the other group.

"They're both slowing down but Lena can't go much further." Katya smiled relaying the information.

"Told you. She's _The Chosen One_ for a reason." Weiss smiled with proud head nod that Irina was indeed pulling off another miraculous performance.

"Lena wants to make it at least past 400 miles. She's nearly there, only 20 more miles." Katya continued to relay what Marcelo was telling them.

"I'll do it. I'll run the last 20 miles with her." Arman smiled with a head nod preparing to jump out and start running again.

"You've already done two sections of 25 miles." His mother, Tanya, gasped at him sitting beside Katya and clearly worried for her son. "Arman…"

"Mama, I can do this. For Lena, I can do anything." He smiled widely and clearly in love. "Please, have him tell her… I'll run it with her." His eyes flashed to Katya's who nodded.

"Arman wants me to have you relay to Lena, that he'll run the last 20 miles with her. He's jumping out now." Katya relayed with a smile and heard Marcelo relay it to Lena.

"Arman's running with you." Marcelo smiled at Lena through the screen and Irina was sure she heard the world's collective 'awe' through the television screen as the news relayed that information as well as the raging smile and tears in Lena's eyes that formed in hearing he was going to finish it with her.

Lena was exhausted now and the pain was settling in but she was determined to make it past this self-made Finish Line of 400 miles.

"You can do it, Sweetheart." Irina nodded at her with the same smile, seeing the tears of both joy and pain in her child's eyes and encouraging her to keep going. "You can do it." She repeated feeling the same pain and exhaustion but vowing to keep going until she could go absolutely go no more, wanting to see for herself how far she could push her body and reach her limit. Irina was already ahead of her with her faster pace having passed the 400 mile marker not long ago.

Lena felt a renewed sense of determination hearing that Arman would run again, further than he'd ever pushed himself, to be with her and keep her going and to hear her mother's encouragement and belief she could make it. She surged on through the exhaustion and pain and found her focus, imagining herself running towards Arman and the life that awaited her when she returned.

The crowds gathered and watching around the world began to cheer for her, seeing Lena fighting through the pain to finish and feeling as though it were some symbolic metaphor for her life. Running through space and time towards her destiny and the man she loved who was waiting for her.

"Come on, Sweetheart." Irina encouraged her seeing Lena nearly to the end of that mark and trying her best to send shockwaves of love and support to keep going from her heart to Lena's, refueling as Lena always called it mid-run. '_You can do it._' She spoke directly to Lena's heart and saw Lena's eyes flash up to hers through the screen, having heard her mother and nodded.

"Come on, Arman!" Sydney and everyone else on their own team cheered with encouragement seeing the pain racing through his own features as he fought to finish with Lena. His body was exhausted and in pain but he was determined not to stop until she did. "You can do it! You're nearly there." They cheered for him. "She's on the last mile!" They gave him hope watching and listening to the news reports of Lena giving it her all.

"Last quarter mile!" The Israeli astronaut, Adam Bauer smiled with excitement as they all watched the ticker count higher towards the 400 mile marker.

"Come on, Lena!" The Pakistani astronaut, Dr. Laila Ahmad encouraged her nearly bouncing with her own excitement.

Lena surged harder digging down deep and heard her mother's continued chants inside her egging her on and thinking about how much she loved Arman and all that they had to look forward to in life together.

_"400!"_ Adam shouted pumping his fist into the air excitedly and the world watching all cheered with the same excitement at such an incredible feat.

_"She did it!"_ Katya relayed excitedly to Arman with tears in her eyes.

Arman cried with pain and pride to hear such news and slowed his own gait while Sydney, Nadia and everyone else ran towards him with celebratory congratulations and hugs that he'd done it too.

Jack smiled with pride to see Lena slowing down on the screen before him, trying to cool down and calm her thundering heart. His eyes flashing to the screen in time to see Arman had run the distance with her and helped get his daughter cross the finish line with his support. The young man was already doing exactly as he promised to do when he'd asked them for Lena's hand in marriage, to stand by her side and support her in whatever ways he could. Being able to run with her, encourage her through the pain when she didn't think she could go one, was just another way that Arman was turning out to be exactly what Lena needed by her side, the man was willing to go the distance with her.

_"Come on, Mama!"_ Lena was the first to encourage her mother to keep going once she'd caught her breath and smiled seeing her mother still going.

Everyone's focus immediately shifted from congratulating Lena to cheering on Irina, following Lena's lead.

"She just passed 425 miles." Adam informed Lena having been the one to keep track of the distances both she and her mother were running.

"I told you she was amazing." Lena smiled with pride and tears in her eyes. "I don't think people really believed me when I said that she still beat me in everything I'd ever won Gold in at the Olympics. _She_…is the supreme being, not I." She shook her head softly, marveling at her mother in the same way everyone else around the world and on the moon was in watching Irina keep going and knowing she was witnessing something amazing.

"Can you imagine how her body would actually perform in space? If she is doing this on Earth with just a transfusion of the cells?" Laila's smiled widely with astonished eyes of wonder.

"The fact that her body is not only maintaining the excess hemoglobin count from the transfusion, but evolving to produce more under such strenuous conditions is more than we could have ever hoped for!" Dr. Matthew Chance marveled as well reading the report from Irina's internal monitors in tracking her blood counts. "She is forcing her body to evolve in order to keep up. This is extraordinary."

"She's extraordinary." Lena beamed with pride, knowing what this meant for the world of research and medicine if they could replicate what her mother's body and cells were doing. Her sensei's words suddenly flashed through her mind from years ago after losing Antony and the baby. He had said that if Lena gave up and died her mother's destiny would never be fulfilled either; this destiny Lena could see now of bringing such hope and promise for the future.

When Irina finally quit running she had run 447 miles without stopping. A loud and thunderous cheer rang out around the Space Agencies medical labs and across the globe in celebration for the unbelievable astonishing feat they'd all witnessed and been apart of and the hope it gave for the future in knowing what cures had already come from Lena and Irina's genes.

"You're incredible." Jack whispered with a smile against her lips as he held Irina closely to his chest, her heart thundering loudly through them both. "I love you." He kissed her lips and palmed her sweaty face while everyone cheered again to see them still as madly in love as they'd always been.

"I love you." Irina smiled kissing him in turn when they pulled apart.

"Your adrenaline rush finally running out?" He asked with a soft chuckle knowing how amped up she'd been after her transfusion some 24+ hours ago.

"I thought it was…but I feel it being renewed in your arms." She smiled and whispered into his ear, brushing her lips lightly and teasingly against the side of his face as she pulled back.

Jack laughed softly shaking his head and holding her more tightly wondering how he had managed to keep up with her for the last 25 years. "Running nearly 500 miles didn't even slow you down. You're simply on fire, My Love."

"For you?" Irina looked deeply into his eyes and smiled, "Always." She kissed him again and missed the raging smiles of those around them in the lab that had heard the entire exchange though pretended not to, blushing madly amongst themselves to see and feel the radiating love and passion between the too that still existed and seemed to only burn more brightly each year they were together.

* * *

**_*To the Stars*_**

Every night that Lena had spent on the moon since her very first trip into space, she had slept in Antony's hockey jersey. Many had wondered if she would still be sleeping in it during this mission as well, given she was now engaged to be married to Arman. When she pulled it out of her bag the first night preparing for bed, Arman swallowed the lump in his throat watching her on the NASA feed before she stepped into the bathroom to change in privacy. He didn't want to ponder what it meant too much, knowing that she loved him and was marrying him and that being on the moon and in space had always been her dream with Antony, that she felt closest to him and their baby there, so close to the heavens.

He climbed into his own bed that night, staring up at the moon shining brightly above him and clicked the television off. His mind racing with so many thoughts and questions, having feared Lena would pull back again once he'd seen that jersey but to his great delight and surprise, his phone rang but a moment later and her sweet voice greeted him as she'd promised. The first thing she had said to him after _hello _was _I love you and I miss you so much already._

That was three weeks ago now, and each night Lena wrapped herself in Antony's jersey and would then lie down in bed for the night and call Arman.

The last morning she'd awoken with Arman at the Beach House prior to her launch, Lena had made a decision about what this final trip into space really meant to her and watching her on the television now, her family, along with the rest of the world was seeing what it meant now as well.

On her last day on the moon, Lena was in her white space suit, and on her knees far outside the Lunar Station looking out at Earth, using her hands she had dug a hole much to the curiosity of everyone.

Irina gasped along with many others when Lena reached inside the pouch in the front of her space suit and pulled out Antony's hockey jersey. They cried along with Lena silently as she fingered its well-worn and loved fabric before laying it ever so carefully into the hole she'd dug. Lena inhaled a sob they could all hear through her mic and brushed the first hand full of moon dust over the jersey, burying it forever and leaving it behind.

"I love you to the moon and back…" Lena cried and everyone else did with her, "More than the stars in the Heavens and the grains of sand on Earth, forever and always, Antony…_forever and always_. Someday, I will see you again." She patted the moon dust leaving behind her handprint over the symbolic grave and smiled up at the stars and back to Earth. "But not yet… _not yet."_ She cried in tears of happiness thinking about seeing him again someday and of Arman and all that she had to look forward to again in life.

Arman had raging streams of tears falling from his eyes watching along with everyone else in Lena's family, including Antony's parents and sister to see her kissing her fingers one last time in honor of Antony before she stood and walked away, truly taking the last step in embracing her future in saying _goodbye. _


	72. Chapter 72

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): End Credits (Cast Away) **_**by Alan Silvestri from Cast Away Soundtrack, _Time_ by Hans Zimmer from Inception Soundtrack, _Nothing Else Matters_ by Scala & Kolacny Brothers, _Life is Beautiful_ by Vega4, _Never Grow Old_ by The Cranberries, _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_ by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, ****_Marry Me_ by Train_, PM's Love Theme _by Craig Armstrong,_ The Greatest Reward _by Celine Dion_, The Way You Look Tonight _by Steve Tyrell_, Ho Hey by The Lumineers, Mondo Bongo by Joe Strummer & The Mescalaros, Home by Phillip Phillips. _**

* * *

SEVENTY-TWO

o

**_*End Credits from Cast Away *_**

_"Luna, this is Mission Control. Prepare for take off in T- 2 minutes."_ The Flight Controller's voice once again rang out as the shuttle crew prepared to leave the Lunar Space Station.

"Roger, Control." Lena answered back snapping the last of her seat belt buckles into place as the pilot beside her began firing up the engines at the end of the runway to launch them back into orbit and away from the moon's gravity. "Luna crew, preparing for take off. Houston, we're coming home. This is the _Future Mrs. Reznikov_, signing off from the _Lunar Space Station_ as Commander Bristow for the last time." Lena answered with a smile and tears in her eyes and her crew cheered loudly from behind her buckling in as well.

Arman's smile was raging as he glanced over and caught Irina's eyes as everyone around them cheered and whistled with Lena's very public declaration and announcement of just how much she loved him and was looking forward to coming '_home_.'

_"Looking forward to having you home, Luna. Safe flight and Godspeed."_ The Flight Director wished them well as the shuttle took off from the runway, leaving the moon behind them.

It would take the shuttle two days to reach Earth again before re-entry where it was scheduled to land in the early morning hours where their families would be eagerly awaiting their return.

"Are you getting nervous for the wedding?" Luka, a fellow Russian cosmonaut smiled at Lena as they strapped into their sleep bunks for the night on their second day flying towards home. "By this time next week, you will be a married woman."

"No, I'm not nervous." Lena answered him with a growing smile thinking about what he'd said. That in less than six days she would be Arman's wife. "I'm excited for the next chapter of my life to begin."

Arman smiled widely listening to and watching their conversation on the NASA communications feed as he snuggled into bed in their rented house on the beach. The family was reconvening in Florida to welcome Lena home tomorrow evening.

"Oh, I was nervous. I couldn't stop sweating." Luka smiled and Lena and the others laughed.

"Me too." Adam laughed softly shaking his head, "I was a nervous wreck. Not because I was afraid to marry Sarah, but because I was afraid I would somehow mess up my vows when saying them."

"Did you mess them up?" Laila asked with a smile, snuggling in as well.

"Yes, I did actually." Adam smiled and the others laughed. "I have been teased mercilessly since about getting everything else in my life perfect, except for my wedding vows. Thankfully, my wife is very forgiving and saw it for what it was…that I was so madly in love with her, that I couldn't think straight staring into her beautiful eyes standing across from me under the alter. She had never looked more beautiful to me then in that moment. Took my breath away."

"Awe." A collective awe went around the world to hear the man speak so tenderly of the wife he obviously adored.

"I cannot wait to see her. This is the longest we've been separated since we've been married." Adam continued with a raging smile.

"This is the longest I've ever been away from my baby since having her." Laila added kissing the photo of her beautiful baby girl tucked into the seam of the shuttle above her sleeping bunk.

"Me too." Faraj, the Mission Specialist from Iran nodded looking at the photo of his children and wife above him as well.

"It never gets any easier. Being away." Nick, the American astronaut and pilot smiled, sharing a knowing glance with Lena, Matt and Luka as the veterans amongst their crew. This was the first mission for Faraj, Laila and Adam. "Does it?" He asked as an after thought with Lena being one mission ahead of him in the count making her the most Senior astronaut on board and the reason she was the Shuttle Commander with her experience.

"No, it doesn't." Lena added quietly with a soft smile.

"We will miss you up here." Matt smiled having flown two missions with Lena now.

"You're a hard act to follow, Commander Bristow- Soon to be Reznikov." Nick's smile grew in agreement, knowing he was already chosen to be Commander of a future shuttle mission for next spring.

"I'll still be around." Lena smiled with a teasing tone and the others broke into laughter knowing there was no way she would or could ever just disappear from their lives or anyone's given who she was and what she was meant to be as the future Tsar of Russia. "And I will miss all of you as well. But I am thrilled… you've all agreed to come to my wedding."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world, Your Highness." Luka smiled with a slight head bow of respect for his Tsarevicha and fellow crew member. "It will be with great pride and honor that I shall someday tell my children and my grandchildren, how I once flew a great mission into space with our beloved Tsarevicha. The _light_ of all Russia's life."

"You Russians," Nick shook his head trying to hide the welling tears from his eyes that they all had in listening to Luka's passionate and heartfelt words. "You're all so damn poetic." He laughed softly as did they.

"Thank you, Luka. That was very kind and beautiful of you to say." Lena swallowed the lump in her throat, "But, it is me, who should be thanking all of you… for allowing me to live out this part of my dream. For standing beside me, through some of the worst years of my life. Thank you. All of you." She looked around at her crew and in speaking with those in Mission Control she knew were listening as well, knowing how they had given her purpose in their own quiet ways that had kept her going after losing Antony and her baby. "I am the one so honored and humbled to have been part of such a great team and mission for all mankind." She wiped a single fallen tear from her cheek that she failed to blink back and smiled. "I will continue to do my best in supporting all of you and this mission, even with my feet planted firmly on the ground." She laughed softly trying to lighten the mood.

"You love to fly too much to ever keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, Lena." Nick smiled knowingly as one pilot to another.

"Okay, you're right." Lena agreed while everyone laughed. "Perhaps not firmly on the ground, but never again reaching into space." She added quietly with a humble and slightly sad smile gracing her features as they all settled in with the lights dimming.

"Never say never…" Luka smiled wistfully. "Just think of all the greatness your mother has done." He smiled with pride in his Russian Tsar, "and you are only just beginning…" He turned on his side with a raging smile of support to look at Lena. "I can't wait to see what your future holds… and ours, Your Highness." He smiled thinking about how the lives of Russians had already changed so drastically in the last 25 years. "You are already a great leader, Commander Bristow… my future Tsar, and like your mother, I will follow you anywhere." He gave another slight bow to show his respect for her leadership now and in the future in her next role in life now that this chapter was closing for her.

Irina smiled widely through her tears with pride listening to and watching the exchange as well.

"You done good, Mama." Jack smiled with the same tear filled eyes of pride at the woman his daughter had grown up to be, so much like her mother. He wrapped his arms around Irina as they both slid into bed, turning off the television for the night.

"I didn't do it alone." Irina turned in his arms with a smile, perched on his chest and leaned in to kiss his lips. "I love you, Jack…forever and always." She kissed his lips quickly again and smiled with a soft laugh, "We done good, Dad-dy." She mimicked Lena's voice and tone, dropping her face slowly to close the distance and kiss him more deeply.

* * *

**_*Time*_**

Irina's heart was pounding as she flew forward in bed feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of her, she gasped for breath.

"What? What is it?" Jack flew forward wide awake as well, feeling Irina launch off his chest and out of bed. He knew her well enough after all these years that something was happening for her to awaken like this.

"Something's happening. With Lena." Irina gasped with heart still pounding and blood rushing in her ears as she reached for her clothes.

"What? What's happening?" Jack asked in a frantic panic, reaching for his clothes as well. "Is she okay?" He asked afraid of the answer but having to know.

"She's alive." Irina answered stopping to tap on her chest with tears in her eyes, "But something is happening. I can feel her fear and panic." She gasped pulling her shirt over her shoulder as she frantically buttoned it closed. "I'm calling the agency." She sat quickly on the edge of the bed reaching for her phone while Jack continued to get dressed.

He listened while she spoke with the Head of her Russian Space Agency and watched her skin pale considerably even in the dimly lit room.

"We're on our way. Phone me the moment you know something more." Irina spoke into the phone having remained mostly silent for the entire conversation. When she hung up, she could see Jack was waiting for her to explain. "There was a meteor shower. They didn't see it coming. They've lost communication with the shuttle."

"What does that mean?" Jack swallowed the massive lump in his throat with blood roaring in his own ears.

Irina knew what Jack was thinking and shook her head vehemently with new tears in her eyes standing before him. "She's not dead, Jack. I would feel it. She's not dead. They are still alive. I know it. I can feel her fear," She tapped her chest again, "but she's alive."

Jack nodded softly pulling Irina into his arms, believing her and trying to calm his panicked heart. "What do we do now?" He asked as a man of action, needing to know what to do. "Do we stay here in Florida at Kennedy? Or do we go to Houston with Mission Control?" He asked not sure where they should be at this point. Lena was to land in Florida at the Kennedy Space Station but until she entered Earth's atmosphere, Mission Control in Texas still held the command and were the ones in contact with the shuttle, or at least they were until they'd lost communication.

"We're going to Houston. Get everyone gathered. They're expecting us." Irina answered and held Jack more tightly for one more moment, closing her eyes and telling Lena to hang on, her worst fears a mother coming true. Her child was in danger and there was no way to get to her.

"Is the agency contacting Arman with this news?" Jack asked when they finally let go of each other. His heart was already breaking for his future son-in-law knowing the man's fears of losing Lena, after losing Angelina, and understanding them all too well himself after nearly losing the love of his life in Irina, one too many times. A fear that was turning out to be founded in regards to his daughter as well.

"They asked me if they should call. I said we would tell him." Irina answered, wiping the tears from her cheeks and taking a calming breath. "She's alive, Jack. I know it."

"I believe you, My Love. I believe you." Jack pulled her back into his arms, holding her tightly and knowing Irina was saying it out loud to reassure herself of what she felt as much as to reassure him.

* * *

Lena invaded Arman's dreams and he woke with a start and pounding heart when she smiled at him dressed so beautifully in her wedding gown, telling him she loved him and then was ripped away screaming his name. He sat up in bed, scrubbing his hands over his eyes trying to calm his pounding heart when he heard the knock on his door.

A feeling of dread suddenly came over him when he opened it to see Jack standing solemnly on the other side, already dressed in a suit and tie when it was only 3:30 in the morning.

"May I come in?" Jack asked trying to swallow the lump in his throat seeing Arman standing before him wearing only his pajama pants and disheveled hair, seeing he was having a restless night as well.

"What's wrong?" Arman asked stepping back to allow Jack inside the small beach house and saw the armored line of black SUVs with police escorts waiting outside the cottage he'd rented with Lena.

Jack's eyes fell on the framed photos of Lena and Arman together, displayed over the mantle on the fireplace and his heart lurched into his throat seeing her beautiful face and smile looking back at him.

"There was a meteor shower. They didn't see it coming." Jack whirled around slowly to face Arman and watched all the color drain from the young man's face as he sat suddenly and heavily on the sofa behind him, "They have lost all communication with the shuttle." He chocked back his tears and knelt before him with gentle hand on his knee. "Irina says that Lena is alive." He added and Arman's head whipped up to look Jack in the eyes, with wild hope and confusion through his tears. "She feels her." Jack tapped on his own chest to indicate his heart and how Irina knew that Lena was still alive. "She's never been wrong, Arman. If Irina says that she can still feel Lena, than my daughter is alive."

Arman nodded slowly, hoping that was true, forcing himself to believe that was true as he didn't feel Lena was gone either but the dream had terrified him and with the news, he didn't want to believe she was gone.

"Irina would know, Arman. When Lena died that night in the river, Irina felt it right away. That loss…the disconnect." Jack continued seeing the struggle to believe in the young man's eyes and needing to hear it himself to remind him, that Lena was alive. "She would know, Arman… Lena is Irina's heart. I have never seen anything so powerful in all my life, as the connection my wife has with her children… they are truly pieces of her." Jack smiled softly through his building tears thinking about how much Irina loved their children and how much apart of her they were, so much so that Irina had died along with Lena that night on the river bank, following her child into the afterlife to bring her back. "Irina would know if Lena were gone. If Irina says that Lena is alive, _she is alive!"_ He emphasized with a confident head nod and then stood becoming the stoic Jack Bristow of old. "Now get dressed. We're going to Houston and Mission Control."

Arman nodded and jumped into action, flying quickly back into the bedroom to get dressed while Jack waited patiently in the living room of the small beach cottage and seeing touches of his daughter everywhere. They had really made it 'their home' during the time Lena had been training for this mission. The happy parts of her life were just beginning again and he'd be damned if they were stolen from her now. He wasn't sure how, but he was going to get his child back and didn't care what it took to do so.

Arman's mind drifted for one second to Antony and Lena's final goodbye to him on the moon. His thoughts wondered for just a moment if, _this weren't Antony's way of keeping Lena there with him, knowing she was never going to return and wanting to keep her close?_ He shook his head to clear the thought, knowing in his own heart that Antony loved Lena enough to want her to have a good life and for as much as he likely missed her, he wanted only the best for her and if anything, he was protecting her even now as a Guardian Angel, trying to help them bring her home…to have that happy life she deserved.

"Please keep her safe, Antony. Please." He begged quietly jamming his clothes into a duffle bag, sending silent prayers to the man above who loved and adored Lena as much as he did. "Get her home to me. I need her." He looked skyward towards the moon out of the bedroom window and took a deep breath, zipping the bag closed. "Come back to me, Space Critter… please, God, send her back to me."

* * *

"Is everyone okay?" Lena asked when the relentless pounding against the shuttle and violent spinning finally stopped. They had been asleep in their bunks when the meteor shower began and thankfully had been strapped in. But when the beatings had stopped for several moments they thought it was safe to unbuckle and start assessing the damage when another wave of meteors hit and sent the shuttle spinning wildly again, causing them to bounce and fly around inside the shuttle as though they were inside a washing machine on the spin cycle.

She was immediately concerned for her crew, trying to assess their injuries but finding it difficult with the lights flickering on and off.

"I'm okay." Luka answered her first floating towards Lena with concern as she tried to help Laila untangle from a mass of cords she was tangled in. "But you're bleeding." He lifted his hand towards the side of her head where her beautiful long brown hair was now matted with fresh blood.

"Let me take a look." Matt shared Luka's concern seeing the bright red stain on Luka's hand when he pulled it away from Lena's head.

"I'm fine. I just hit my head against the bulkhead. I think I cut it on a switch." Lena nodded towards the various switches on the shuttle side, one of them noticeably stained with bright red blood and holding a few strands of her long hair. "Are you both okay?" She asked scanning them quickly while still trying to help Laila. "Adam? Faraj? Nick?" She called into the back of the now darkened shuttle with the lights flickering off and staying that way, unable to see the rest of her crew.

"We're fine. Superficial scratches and some bumps and bruises." Matt answered her, still trying to look at Lena's head. "You need stitches to close this."

"It will have to wait until we assess the damage to the shuttle." Lena grasped Laila's hand to help her up and the woman cried out sharply in pain.

"I think my arm's broken." Laila cried through her smile, gritting her teeth and blinking back tears.

"I think that's a safe assumption." Lena sighed seeing the bone in Laila's upper arm about ready to come through the skin. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" She asked gently palming Laila's face while the others helped to scan her body.

"Just bumps and bruises like everyone else, I think." Laila answered shaking her head. "I'm okay except for the arm."

"Adam is unconscious but alive." Faraj announced floating towards the front of the shuttle. "He hit his head against the bulkhead as well. He had a gash above his right eye but no other injuries." He sighed bleeding from several superficial wounds himself. "Both of his pupils are reactive so I don't believe he's sustained any catastrophic head injury, thank Allah." He closed his eyes in prayer. "Nick's hand is broken pretty badly. You can see the bones." He swallowed hard thinking about their pilot, now suffering from a broken hand. "How is everyone up here?" He asked with eyes quickly scanning the other members the best he could when the lights flickered on for a moment again and then went out.

"Lena's got a pretty good gash in her head and Laila's arm is broken." Matt answered with obvious concern. "I'm going back to take a look at them. Stay with her please and apply pressure." He handed Faraj a towel that floated past them as everything had been tossed about inside the cabin. Faraj was a medical doctor as well, but mostly a scientist dealing with research. Matt had graduated from the Naval Academy in Annapolis, before serving as a field physician in the Medical Corp.

"Bring them both up here. Luka go help him. Faraj, help me buckle Laila in." Lena took command even as Matt floated towards the back to help the others and the men quickly listened to her instructions. "They need to be secure in case another meteor shower wave is coming." She focused on the task a head. Carefully, she and Faraj were able to secure Laila into her seat with the seatbelt harness just as Matt and Luka were floating towards them with an unconscious Adam between them and Nick following behind.

"He's definitely got a concussion. But vitals are good and pupils reactive." Matt smiled softly at Faraj, agreeing with his assessment as the men all worked together to secure Adam in the seat beside Laila.

"How's your hand?" Lena asked Nick as he floated towards them and the lights went out again.

"Not good." Nick answered with a sigh and held it up above his heart to stem the throbbing pain and blood flow. "The Lunar cargo crate came lose after that second tumble and crushed my hand."

"Buckle in." Lena instructed him already seeing the protest in his bright eyes through the flickering lights. "You won't be able to support yourself if we start spinning again and I need you functional and conscious if you're going to help get us home." She added with the air of authority and a confident nod, letting him know that she was in charge but that she needed him, so he needed to listen to her. "Faraj, help him buckle in, please?" She looked at the man who nodded quickly and set to work. "Matt, do what you can to stabilize their injuries."

"And what about yours?" Matt asked with a slanted eyebrow looking at her head and seeing the blood now trickling down her face as well. "You need that wound closed."

"You can close it for me after you've helped them. I need to check our systems and see what's been damaged and get us back on course." Lena sighed, holding the shirt up to her head and wiping the blood away from her face. She floated towards the front seat of the shuttle and began to put on her headset. "Houston, this is Luna. Do you copy?" She spoke for the first time trying to reach those on Earth who were meant to guide them home. "Houston, this is Luna. Do you copy?" She couldn't get them after trying repeatedly for several minutes. "I'm going to switch frequencies and see if I can't reach the Lunar Base." She informed her anxious crew behind her as silence filled the air around them, staring out of the windows and seeing the blackness surrounding them with a very large Earth in the distance. The large and small meteor fragments that had pelted them could be seen burning brightly as they impacted Earth's atmosphere.

"Lunar Base, this is Commander Bristow of the Luna, do you copy?" Lena tried them but heard no response. "We've lost all of our communications." Lena realized when an hour had passed of them trying.

"Now what?" Luka asked looking to her as their leader and feeling his heart pounding, asking the question they all had.

"Everyone get into your Re-Entry Suits." Lena answered him with a confident nod. "We need to be ready in case another meteor shower hits." She looked each of them in the eye, "And then one of us is going to have to go outside and assess the damage." She looked at Matt knowing that it had to be of them as the only two left capable.

"It takes two people to land this shuttle." Matt looked at Lena knowing they were the only two left with pilot experience with the others being Mission Specialists for research but never having been through astronaut training or pilot training as they had. They all knew that Nick wouldn't be able to help fly them home now as he was supposed to before in helping Lena with re-entry.

"I'm going to land it just as I was going to before. And you're going to help me." Lena answered him calmly seeing the fear and realization in his eyes of their situation. "But first, we need to assess the damage and since you and I, are the only non-injured crew members with space walking experience, one of us will have to do it. I can do it but-"

"No, I'll do it." Matt sighed sitting up straighter, volunteering for such a dangerous mission already knowing what Lena was going to say. "I know what you're going to say and the reasons why. You have way more flight experience than I do and you're essential to landing this shuttle, Commander." He reasoned looking at her with complete understanding and the rest of the crew with a soft head nod knowing why he needed to do this. "If something were to happen to you…" He didn't finish the thought, knowing that if something happened to Lena now, they'd all end up dead, as she was the only who could get them home now. "I can assess the shuttle. You can guide me." He smiled softly trying to quell his nerves. "If anything happens to me, you can still get them back. If Nick can't be your co-pilot to land, you can talk Faraj or Luka through it one step at a time." He was telling himself this in speaking out loud his thought process, knowing that Lena already knew all of this, he just needed to say it out loud with the rampant nerves flooding his system.

"Nothings going to happen to you." Lena answered him firmly, refusing to believe such a thing. "We are all going to get home. Safely and in one piece." She nodded inhaling a deep breath and thinking about Arman. "I promised my loved ones '_to the moon and back'_ and I will make the same promise to all of you." She looked them each in the eye again feeling her heart thundering in her ears. "You are my crew, my responsibility and I will get you home… to your loved ones and mine."

"And we will all have a glorious time at your wedding." Luka added with a smile to this pep talk with an enthusiastic head nod.

_"Here! Here!"_ Laila smiled in agreement. "All for one…" She began their motto.

"And one for all." Matt finished with a smile and head nod, accepting that this part of their mission now rested on his shoulders. "Let's get me suited up and do this."

* * *

"So what do you know?" Irina asked once they were all seated in the conference room at NASA upon their arrival in Houston.

"We haven't had any communication with the shuttle in a little over five hours. We have no way of knowing at this point if the crew is still alive." The Flight Director spoke quickly, knowing the Tsar of Imperial Russia wanted the truth and no sugar coating, even if it were her daughter they were speaking of.

"My daughter is alive." Irina answered confidently and saw the flashes of looks between the agency officials. "I would know if she were dead and she is not. I'd feel it." She once again tapped lightly against her chest and saw them all swallow hard at her reasoning. It wasn't a logic they could argue with given Irina's history with Lena, being so intertwined with her daughter that the Tsar's heart had quit beating when Lena's had years ago, and began again when Lena's did. The story was already legendary as was the astronaut folklore of Lena's ability to communicate with her mother from space via their 'heart connection.' Given the other phenomenal and unbelievable attributes the woman had, they weren't willing to argue with her. If she said her child was still alive, they would move forward with that assumption as well.

"Then we have to assume they haven't contacted us directly because they can't. We cannot reach them either, nor can the Lunar Station. We've tried bouncing our feed off various satellites but get nothing in return. Their communication system on the shuttle must have been damaged in the meteor shower." The Flight Director forged on. "From the size of the shower, and its path we've followed on radar, they must have taken a pretty severe hit. If their shield and the tiles held up as they were designed to do, the shuttle should still be intact…mostly." He added with brows furrowing. "There is no telling what kind of condition it is in or the crew given the wind speed and force they must have encountered to knock out communications to this degree."

"So how do we bring them home?" Irina asked taking charge on their end, swallowing her own emotions and not allowing herself to think about what kind of condition they may be in as well, feeling the ache of pain she knew Lena was in given how she felt herself.

"We can't." The Flight Director looked directly at her, knowing that was not the answer she was going to want to hear. "If they are still alive and the shuttle is able to fly with no other damage, they will have to go Old School, if you will, on this one and figure out the calculations on their own to bring themselves in. They can do it, both Lena and Nick have been trained as part of their astronaut training as Commander and Pilot on how to bring the shuttle in without the aid of Mission Control."

"And if either of them are hurt?" Irina asked quietly, finding her mouth dry listening to all of this with the reality sinking in and knowing in her heart that Lena was alive but also injured and hearing how much of the fate of this crew rested on her daughter's being able to land the shuttle.

"It takes two people to land the shuttle. There are three astronauts on board Luna with flight experience. Lena, Nick and Matt. Lena is the only one with the training for the flip, roll and dive maneuver it takes to re-enter Earth's atmosphere. Nick wasn't schedule to start that part of his training until he returned in preparation for his next mission as Commander. He hasn't performed it before but that doesn't mean he couldn't do it. As long as two of them are capable, they will be able to land. Lena and Nick could walk Matt through landing as Co-Pilot. He has enough experience and training to do it if they guided him through the procedures. He's a good astronaut." The Flight Director answered her question, but held her gaze, saying things in a quiet understanding he knew she understood without saying the words out loud to the others.

"Can they just turn around?" Arman asked feeling his heart pounding in fear seeing the silent conversation in the silence of the room going on between Irina and the Flight Director with their long held gazes, "Go back to the Lunar Station to make repairs and get help if they're hurt?"

"I'm afraid that is not an option at this point." The Flight Director looked at him shaking his head softly. "They don't have enough fuel to make that return journey now. They are closer to Earth than the moon now."

"What about sending another shuttle up to them?" Nicholas asked feeling the same gnawing feeling in his gut and helplessness that Arman was feeling and seeking solutions, wanting his sister home.

"Not an option. It takes months to prepare a shuttle for launch. It would never reach them in time." The Flight Director answered with eyes flashing to Irina once more, another silent message being sent and received.

"_Never reach them in time_… what does that mean?" Nadia asked having a bad feeling, she knew what it meant but needed to hear it.

"They only have enough oxygen in their tanks to last them another 58 hours." The Flight Director answered her quietly. "The next shuttle won't be ready for launch for three weeks minimum."

"I don't understand. Why aren't there reserves in case of Emergency?" Sydney asked feeling a wash of new tears flood her eyes, gripping Nadia's hand tightly beside her.

"We have reserves. They are using them now. They had enough oxygen to make the rest of their journey and then land plus an additional 48 hours of oxygen in case of Emergency. They just can't carry anymore than that." The Flight Director sighed scrubbing his hands over his face. "We're moving the satellites we can into position to try and assess the situation. See if we can't get eyes on them some how to determine the condition of the shuttle and re-establish some sort of communication. But that's going to take several hours at the least. None capable are in the vicinity as we planned it that way. We try to keep the re-entry points free and clear to avoid any collision with the shuttle as it approaches. It's going to take awhile to bring them back around to where we need them."

"Sir," A man burst into the room with a bright smile and apologetic eyes flashing to Irina for his interruption and disheveled appearance, "Your Majesty, I'm sorry to interrupt but the _Keck Observatory_ in Hawaii just picked up the shuttle with their telescope. They're sending the signal now for broadcast so we can see what they are."

The Flight Director didn't have a chance to respond before everyone in the room was on their feet and plastering themselves to the glass window over looking the Mission Control room below where the screens were coming to life with the static image being relayed.

Finally, it snapped into sharp focus and everyone released the breath they were holding to see the shuttle not only in tact, but to see at least one astronaut had survived and was now outside assessing the damage.

_'Are you okay?' _

Lena felt her mother's voice suddenly echo through her and gasped quietly.

_'We can see you.'_

"Lena, are you okay?" Laila asked quickly with concern as Lena was just beside her.

"Is it your head?" Faraj asked with deep concern, wondering about her likely concussion from taking such a blow to the head.

"No," Lena shook her head softly with tears flooding her eyes and a smile slowly spreading across her lips. "It's my mother." She saw their suddenly paling looks of astonishment, not sure if she was hallucinating or if this was part of the folklore around Lena they'd heard about from the other astronauts. Their eyes flashed to Nick knowing that he'd flown with Lena before to see his response. His smile widened as he nodded with eyebrows rising having flown a mission before with Lena and heard about this communication before, though still not sure if he believed it.

"I can't explain it." Lena knew there was no way to do so and have them believe her. "I just feel it and hear her in here." She tapped lightly against her chest indicating her heart. "She said, they can see us."

"How?" Luka asked in a whisperer, a firm believer in whatever Lena was saying in regards to his beautiful and magical Tsar, whom most Russians had come to believe was really an Earth bound angel among them.

"I don't know. Likely a telescope or satellite." Lena answered him honestly with heart starting to pound, wishing she could focus more clearly and pay attention through the pounding and fog in her head. She closed her eyes and took several long breaths, trying to slow her heart rate and breathing, concentrating on just the beat of her heart as her mother had taught her to do the first time she was in space, in teaching her to speak through her heart. '_I'm okay, Mama. I love you.' _She tried to relay back to her. _'We're all alive.'_

"Lena's alive." Irina smiled with a soft gasp hearing Lena's response and knowing she'd gotten through. She tapped her chest again signaling how she knew. "They're all alive." She reassured the anxious families of the other crew members waiting for news with them.

* * *

"Lena, I'm done with this section. I have to come in. I'm not feeling very well." Matt announced with pounding heart as he'd been out checking the communications damage and tiles on the space ship for the last seven hours. He was exhausted as moving in space was like swimming in quicksand and crashing as his adrenaline was wearing off allowing him to feel more of his injuries. "I think I have a concussion, too." He felt the throbbing in his head and eyes getting heavy. "I checked 6,750 tiles, over?" He asked through his helmet's connection to the Main Cabin.

Lena and Faraj had been able to get the shuttle's power up and running along with the space walking umbilical and communications cable before sending Matt out to assess the damage.

"Roger. 6,750." Lena repeated with a deep sigh hearing Matt was injured as well and unable to go on. Doing the calculations in her book over and over she began shaking her head while Luka and Faraj went to help Matt come back inside.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked through gritted teeth with pain, seeing the look on Lena's face as she did her calculations.

"Subtracting the time and distance we still need to travel before landing…Taking into account the fact we lost one of the Emergency oxygen tanks with the broken seal from impact… At this rate, we're going to run out of oxygen before we get all the tiles checked and repaired, assuming we have enough tiles." Lena answered him honestly, setting aside her notebooks of calculations. "He needs to rest but we need to keep going. I'll take the next shift."

"Lena, you can't-" Nick was about to argue knowing that she was the only one who could now perform the shuttle's roll and dive maneuver needed to re-enter the Earth's atmosphere as even Matt had never been trained to do such a thing.

"I have to. Matt's injured and exhausted and the only other one not injured and trained to do a space walk or even know what to look for and capable of repairing it, is me. There is no choice. I have to go." Lena looked at him intently, "Or we're not going to make it anyway. We're running out of time."

"Director, we can see sixty damaged tiles already just on the bottom." A man announced looking at the satellite feed from the telescope they were being given.

"Make that seventy." Another man added with eyes flashing towards the Flight Director as the massive group of people assembled, quickly gathered as much information as they could for the last few hours.

"What? What aren't you saying?" Weiss asked with a hint of anger in his tone that they were withholding something else they clearly all knew.

"The new shuttle design allows for us to use universal tiles that are interchangeable. We learned from our past mistakes with the _Columbia_." The Flight Director swallowed hard and they all held their breath in thinking about the lost shuttle and crew who had died so tragically many years before upon re-entry due to a tile that had been damaged during the launch but fractured completely under the intense heat of re-entry causing the shuttle to disintegrate. "The shuttle now carries a hundred replacement tiles." He answered Weiss and everyone swallowed hard. "As long as they don't exceed that number…" He let the thought die on his lips as everyone understood what it meant to exceed the number. _The shuttle wouldn't survive re-entry in such condition. _Without those tiles and their protective barrier, the shuttle would burn up along with everyone inside.

"Make that eighty-two." The same man announced as his team scanned more footage.

"Ninety-six." Another voice announced from around the room and everyone's hearts began to race.

"How many tiles are there on the shuttle?" Weiss asked while the others waited with baited breath seeing the hundreds of people still buzzing around examining their section of the shuttle down to the tiniest of detail.

"27,000." Sydney answered him swallowing incredibly hard seeing the instant widening of many tear filled eyes all flashing her way. "I learned about it at Space Camp with Lena. They were just in the planning stages of the new shuttle then." She inhaled a soft cry thinking about her sister who was so little then and how excited Lena had always been every summer to go.

"And they only carry a hundred replacement tiles?" Weiss asked in disbelief.

"Losing tiles is something that rarely happens." One of the Space Agency scientists explained. "Usually, it's something that may happen during the launch, getting cracked or knocked off, perhaps one or at most two at a time. Ten tiles are considered to be severe damage. Having a hundred extra tiles is actually in excess given the statistical risk assessment. Being hit with a meteor shower like this… isn't something we generally plan for. In most cases, to be hit with a shower such as they were usually means catastrophic loss…this has never happened before."

"Ninty-eight." A woman stood with a voice thick with emotion bringing up the image on the large screen for them to see. "Section 13, Tile 47…also has a crack."

"Shit…" One of the controllers ran his hands through his hair.

"It's okay." The Flight Director took control of his room seeing the fear in the faces before him. "As long as they don't exceed a hundred they can still make it home, people. Get your heads in the game and check and re-check every single tile."

"What good does it do them for us to find the broken and cracked tiles?" One controller braved asking, "If we have no way to tell the crew?"

"We're working on re-establishing Communications. And if we can't then we're going to have to hope they find them all." The Flight Director answered sternly, unwilling to give up. "In the meantime, you keep looking. Go over every thing with a fine-toothed comb and then do it again and again!" He slammed his hand down on the desk.

"Sir, they're sending out a new astronaut to continue the assessment." A woman in the corner rapidly stood, announcing to the room seeing another body emerging from the shuttle from the cargo bay doors.

Given the astronauts all looked the same in their white space suits with helmet and golden shields on, there was really only one way to tell who they were without communication: the country patches on their arms or the names on their badges on the front of the suit which was currently hidden from view as the astronaut moved with their back to the telescope and view. Given this unique country combination they saw on the sleeve of this space suit they knew it could be only one person donning both the American and Russian flags, _Lena_.

"Shit…" The Flight Controller sighed for the first time and felt the immediate eyes of her family upon him for explanation as well as the other family members of the other astronauts. "There are only three astronauts on this crew capable of performing a space walk and evaluation of the shuttle to know if something needs repair. Lena, Nick and Matt. If Lena is outside, and doing this…it means that something must have happened to Nick to prevent him from doing it as the next one who should following the Chain of Command. Lena is essential to the crew as the Shuttle Commander and the only one trained to perform the roll and dive maneuver of re-entry into Earth's atmosphere. Under normal circumstances she is forbidden from doing any space walking for just such a reason, that she is essential in bringing the crew home… so for her to be out there and doing this, means they know something we don't."

* * *

Lena continued to check the tiles for several hours and repair them as she found them, feeling her heart pounding and blinking slowly as she moved. The concussion was causing a tremendous ache inside her head and made her want to sleep but she knew she couldn't stop. She was the only one capable of fixing the tiles now and they were running out of time.

"Good news, Commander." Luka's voice rang through her helmet and she could almost hear his smile. "Adam is awake. He has a hell of a headache like the rest of us, but his vitals look very good."

"That is very good news, Luka." Lena smiled happy to hear that all of her crew had made it through meteor shower. She could only hope to get them all home alive.

_'Please God, I don't want to die… I don't want to die.' _She prayed and begged, blinking back tears as she secured a new tile to the bottom of the shuttle. Images of her family and of Arman raced through her mind repeatedly as the silent tears fell down her cheeks. _'I don't want to die.' _ She continued to beg, and shaking her head at the irony of how many times she had prayed for death to find her after losing Antony and the baby and now here she was, with every thing to live for and wanting nothing more than to go home to the man she loved and her family and she was begging God once again praying only this time for her life.

_'Please don't take me away now… please.' _She cried internally with thoughts of Arman's smiling face as she moved slowly and painfully along the bottom of the shuttle, her muscles aching and head exploding with pain she fought through it, one breath and move at a time. She had to believe that her body was able to endure so much more in space, for just this purpose. That everything happened for a reason and she would get them home. Her thoughts raced back to the conversation her mother had with her last summer, in nearly letting Arman walk out of her life before chasing him down at the airport, finally able to say what she felt, that she loved him. Her mother had made her realize that would have given anything to spend just one more day with Antony and that she was wasting time with Arman, wasting those potential 'one more days' with the man she loved and that each and every single day spent together was precious. Lena felt a surge of new tears as silently slipping down her cheeks in praying with everything in her, for just one more day with Arman…that she'd never again take the time they had together for granted. All she wanted to do was go home and be wrapped in his arms. She didn't want to die up here, not when so many people she loved were waiting for her to return.

* * *

"How long has she been out there now?" One of the space agency PR people asked coming into the room where everyone was watching an waiting, hoping to establish communications again soon and watching as Lena moved slowly around the shuttle identifying and repairing the tiles in a tedious process. "The news networks are all clamoring for an update on the condition of the shuttle crew and any new developments."

"Sixteen hours and 23 minutes." Irina answered with eyes never leaving the screen, knowing exactly how long her daughter had been out there working. She'd kept track from the moment they first saw Lena appear out of the cargo doors. None of them had left the room to eat or sleep, so consumed with worry and not wanting to take their eyes away from the screen and potentially losing what little contact they'd had left with Lena and the others on the shuttle.

"That's the longest time spent space walking in history." The PR man shook his head in awe. "And the fact that she's still performing repairs…she has to be exhausted."

"She is." Irina sighed feeling Lena's exhaustion and pain inside her self. "And she's in pain." Her eyes flashed up to the Flight Director. "Lena is hurt… I feel it."

"Hurt how?" Jack asked feeling his voice crack with the dryness in his throat from not having spoken in hours. His fear was growing in seeing the look of pain and angst on his wife's face and in her eyes.

"I feel her heart racing and her head is pounding. She took some sort of blow to the head. She's having trouble focusing and staying awake. It feels like she has a concussion." Irina answered him quietly but held everyone in the rooms attention.

"Then what is she doing outside like this?" Jack asked not likely the idea of his child hurt and in pain.

"She's likely their only option." The Flight Director answered solemnly. "And the only one capable of doing this…For this long, given her bodies capabilities with endurance."

"Sir, the Russians have said they were able to hack into the umbilical communications between the shuttle and the space walker bouncing off the nearest satellite and picking up their signal." A woman smiled nervously over to Irina speaking with the Russian Space Agency on the phone and their partners in this mission.

"Whose satellite?" Irina asked knowing she had given them cart blanche to do such a thing in case of emergency but still needing to know.

"The Chinese, Your Majesty." The woman answered swallowing hard under Irina's intense stare.

"Is that going to cause problems for you?" The Flight Director asked Irina.

"No." Irina answered shaking her head slightly with a smile spreading across her face. "They are helping us to save the crew of the Shuttle Luna, on a mission '_for all mankind._' We could not have done so without their help and they are heroes for helping us to make this happen." She smiled speaking calmly and watched as the Flight Director and others in the room saw her political move for what it was. Instead of infuriating the Chinese by hacking their satellite, she was going to give them the praise and credit in the Press first, for helping to rescue the crew of the shuttle the world had already fallen in love with, making them heroes as well for coming to the aid of the mission in a time of need.

"Well played, Empress." Kendall nodded with a quiet smile standing beside Irina. "Well played."

"They want to send their astronauts up with ours in the next mission. I say, if they play their cards right and respond in kind to what is happening here, they'll have earned their seats without any further hesitance from me." Irina smiled back at him feeling a renewed sense of hope at hearing they may have found a way to communicate with the shuttle crew again. "If China proves to be a Team Player, then I more than welcome them to join the project. Until now, they haven't been very good about playing by the rules and sharing knowledge about certain things the other countries involved have all agreed upon."

"Ever the consummate diplomat." Kendall smiled feeling the same sense of relief washing through him with hope.

"She's very good at getting her way with stubborn people. I seem to recall, something about a pillow and a blanket?" Jack smiled at Kendall remembering very clearly Irina's negotiations so many years ago for such things from the man beside them now.

"You would know her getting her way with stubborn people now, wouldn't you, Jack?" Kendall responded without missing and a beat and smiling at Irina with a wink, teasing Jack.

* * *

"Luna, this is Mission Control. Do you copy? Over." The Flight Director tried to establish a connection again and they all held their breath waiting for someone to answer. "Luna, this is Mission Control. Do you copy? Over." He tried again and again as the minutes ticked by and hope began to fade once more. "Luna, this is Mission Control-" He was about to ask again when he was cut off.

"Roger, Mission Control, this is Luna. We copy. Over." Lena answered with pounding heart and a smile on her face to hear the crackled voice coming through in broken patches through her earpiece. "I repeat, Mission control, this is Luna. We copy. Over."

"Roger, Luna. We hear you. Over." The Flight Director smiled widely with a deep sense of relief as the entire Mission Control floor roared to life and on their feet with a thunderous cheer of elation to hear Lena's voice and have communications re-established. "What's the status of the crew? Over."

"Roger Houston, we were banged around pretty good in there. Three with serious injuries but all alive with good vitals. Over." Lena answered and a cry of relief went around the room to hear everyone was alive and at least with good vitals.

"Roger Luna. What are the injuries? Over." Flight asked again.

"One broken arm, one broken hand." She hesitated for only a moment in adding, "It's safe to assume we all have concussions and I have a deep superficial wound to the head. Over." Knowing that she had to report her own injuries or risk putting her crew in harms way. None of them were thinking too clearly or quickly at this point.

Irina sucked in sharp breath with fingers curling into her palm trying to control her breathing in hearing the injury report.

"What is the shuttle status, Luna?" The Flight Director continued asking questions trying to assess the situation even further. "Why are you the one space walking, Commander? Over." He asked with a firm voice but knowing there was a reason, especially if Lena had a deep gash to the head and concussion and was the one out there.

"Nick's hand was crushed by cargo in the second shower. We also lost one Emergency O2 tank. Over." Lena answered continuing to inspect the tiles and repair them as she spoke with Mission Control.

Several more deep sighs and frustrated curse words could be heard echoing around the Mission Control room with that information.

"So she's out there because they're going to run out of oxygen. Is that right?" Jack asked putting the pieces together.

"Correct." The Flight Director nodded solemnly before turning his attention back to Lena. "Luna, we're going to help speed up inspection and repairs and bring you home. We have found ninety-eight damaged tiles now. We have watched you repair sixty-seven. You have thirty-one left. Over."

"Ninety-eight…" Lena sighed to herself feeling her heart picking up speed again that they had just enough tiles to cover the damage. "Roger, Houston. Thirty-one tiles left to repair. Let's do this. Over."

"We'll direct you right to them and get you out of there, Lena." The Flight Director added with a soft voice full of compassion, knowing she was exhausted.

"Roger, Houston. There is somewhere very important I have to be in five days from now…" Lena took a deep breath smiling through her tears thinking about Arman and their wedding. "And I fully intend to be there. Over."

The Flight Director's face lit into a wide smile as did everyone else who heard her answer with all eyes shifting towards Arman, knowing she was speaking of her wedding.

Arman's heart thundered in his ears with happiness to hear her voice again and felt the new tears welling in his eyes to hear her determination to make it back to him.

"Roger, Lena. There is a very happy Sailor standing beside me with a smile a mile wide to hear you say that. We all heard you loud and clear. Over." The Flight Director smiled at Arman with happiness to relay the information to Lena, wanting to give her something to hold onto and push her through the worst of it.

Lena's heart thundered with joy, smiling through the pain and picking up her speed to hear that Arman was listening, that he was there and waiting for her. She worked as quickly as she could for the next few hours, finishing the last of the repairs and knowing they had very little time left to make their window of re-entry.

* * *

"Good job, Commander." The Flight Director smiled watching Lena heading towards the cargo doors. "We're going to lose our communication with you once you go inside. We'll be able to watch you on satellite and track you on radar but you're going to have to do this one on your own. Over." He swallowed hard with anxiety about letting go of this tether once she was inside the shuttle.

"Roger, Houston. We're coming home. Over." Lena answered feeling the same anxiety about losing their connection.

"We'll be waiting for you on this side of Heaven. Good luck and Godspeed, _Luna_. Over." The Flight Director added quietly and the line went dead with loud static as the cargo bay doors to the shuttle closed.

"We lost the satellite feed. It can't penetrate those doors." The man in charge of monitoring the hack announced what everyone already knew.

"Now what?" Sydney asked with silent tears slipping down her cheeks after hearing her sisters voice for the last time and hoping it wouldn't be for, forever.

"We watch and we wait." The Flight Director sighed sitting back in his chair and lowering his headset around his neck.

"How does re-entry work?" One of the other crew members families asked quietly, knowing that was the most dangerous part of all of space flight was trying to get back into the Earth's atmosphere and not bounce off or burst into flames.

"Usually, the majority of it is done by computer via our link with the shuttle but in this case, with the communications link severed, The Shuttle Commander, Lena, must do it all manually." The Flight Director began to explain and picked up the model of the shuttle he had on his desk, "She has to time it at just the right angle between 28 and 38 degrees for re-entry. Lena will begin the procedure by flipping over and dipping the tail end of the shuttle into the atmosphere first, then she will roll it and send the shuttle into a free fall dive to punch through. It all happens rather quickly. The shuttle will be moving at about 17,500 mph as it re-enters Earth's atmosphere." He paused seeing all of their eyes widen and mouths drop open. "It's essentially in a free fall as a glider at this point. Given Earth's gravitational pull and the physics of such a reentry they are falling at rate of about 25,400 feet per second. Lena has to time it just right and know when to pull up out of the dive, giving enough time to level off and then perform several 'S-shape' banking turns to slow down and then allow the Pilot to fire the reverse thruster rockets and deploy the drag chute to slow them down so they can land."

"17,500 mph…falling 25,400 feet per second," Jack swallowed hard several times repeating it. Lena had never revealed such things and he knew why, it scared the hell out of them to think about her being launched off the planet in the first place. She had learned to keep these details to herself. "And she has only seconds to dip, roll, dive and pull up?" He repeated quietly finding it hard to breathe.

"She's very good at what she does, Your Highness." The Flight Director gave a confident head nod and small smile. "NASA and RASA have only the very best pilots come through this program for obvious reasons given the nature of what they do. Flying a glider backwards, upside down and in a free fall dive at 17,500 mph as they plummet back to Earth. I am being completely sincere and honest by telling you that Lena is one of the best pilots to ever come through here. She is, the best of the best. Her instincts and abilities to focus and get the job done with chaos surrounding her, having to make split second decisions on the ground and in the air, are second to none. This shuttle and that crew are in the absolute best possible hands right now to get them through a blind landing with Lena at the controls. She was chosen for a reason."

_'She was chosen for a reason' _echoed loudly through all of their minds thinking about Lena and her life thus far, everything that she'd been through and accomplished. Their eyes all slowly shifting towards Irina, _The Chosen One_, the one who had also been chosen for a reason, and couldn't help but see the similarities. Circumstance had continually forced Irina to step up and become the leader she was now and the same was happening now with Lena, in being forced to step up repeatedly to lead her team home. To trust her own instincts and what she had learned, relying on herself and no one else to get the job done.

They had just enough time to fly back to Cape Canaveral in Florida and await the shuttles return at the Kennedy Space Center with the rest of the families of the crew.

* * *

**_*Nothing Else Matters*_**

"Who, besides me, is ready to go home?" Lena asked her crew with a smile in her voice as they all finished snapping their buckles tightly into place preparing for re-entry, trying to ease all of their anxiety and fears with a little lightheartedness. She turned her head slightly to smile over at Matt, knowing his head was pounding as much as hers with their concussions demanding rest after being awake and under such strain for the last 24 hours. "You know, I think that a concussion and nearly 20 hours of space walking hurt worse than running 400 miles straight for the medical research testing." She smiled and heard them all laugh softly, each one of them now fighting through the pain of their injuries and staying awake long enough to get home in one piece.

"Tradition says you owe us all a drink when this missions over as the Shuttle Commander, Lena but I think we're the ones that will owe you the drink when this thing touches down." Nick added with a soft smile looking towards the cockpit of the shuttle at her and to the seat beside her where Matt was now sitting in his former seat. "We wouldn't be making it home without you." He added quietly.

"One for all." Matt smiled widely with a teasing grin, reversing their motto to fit the situation better as Lena had once again been the one to do something for them all.

"And all for one." Luka added with a raging smile all the more in love with his future Tsar after this mission. "I'll follow you anywhere you lead me, Tsarevicha."

His comment instantly reminded Lena of Arman and one of the first things he ever said to her after she'd spent the night at his apartment and their conversation about Navy versus Air Force and how she really couldn't hold favorites.

"_Here! Here!"_ Laila smiled nodding in agreement. "Please take us home, Commander." She sighed with tears in her eyes and a soft nod of respect towards Lena, "I can't wait to hold my baby…and we all have a wedding to get to."

"Yes, we do." Lena smiled softly flipping her visor down and taking a deep breath hovering over the brilliant blue and green planet below. "It's been a pleasure flying with all of you. Now let's go home." She closed her eyes and took several long deep breaths, concentrating on the beat of her heart thundering through her ears. _'I need you, Mama…please be there.'_ She tried to reach her mother.

Irina felt and heard Lena's plea echo through her and closed her eyes, concentrating on her own heartbeat. _'I'm here, Sweetheart. Always here… I love you and I know you can do this.' _She sent her own silent response.

Lena heard her mother and answered with a soft smile, wanting to say goodbye if in fact this was their last contact._ 'I love you, Mama…to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth, forever and always, Mama. I love you.'_

_'I love you, Lena…forever and always. You can do this. I'm right here with you.' Irina responded knowing exactly what her daughter was saying and refusing to accept it could be their final goodbye. 'I will see you soon.' _

Lena nodded with a soft smile and opened her eyes, blinking back her tears she took a deep breath and reached for the shuttle controls.

"Okay, people. Here she goes!" The Flight Director snapped his fingers watching as Lena rotated the shuttle on the satellite feed before them. "Once she dives we won't be able to keep up with the visual feed at that speed, so make sure we've got them locked on radar."

"I don't know if I can watch this." Jack swallowed hard repeatedly seeing the shuttle now upside down hovering over the Earth and then tipping back sinking the tail. He didn't want to watch with heart pounding but couldn't tear his eyes away either as they all stood watching and listening to Mission Control on the screens before them now.

"How long before we know they've made it?" One of the other crew member's families asked feeling the same anxiety about not wanting to watch and unable to tear his eyes away as well.

"From this point to touchdown is about 35 minutes." The Director of Kennedy answered her question. "It will take another 20 minutes after they land for the crew to power down and let the shuttle cool before opening the doors. As soon as they land, the transport down stairs is waiting to take you to the runway to meet them."

"And there she goes…start the clock." One of the Mission Controllers started the time watching as the shuttle began its freefall with Lena rolling it over into a dive.

"Godspeed _Luna_, please bring them home safely." The Flight Director prayed watching the shuttle fall out of sight.

The minutes seemed to tick by agonizingly slow as the world waited with baited breath in silence and prayer. Even the news anchors had gone quiet while on air waiting. During the 26th minute a controller bounced upright excitedly with a raging smile, "We've picked them up on radar over California!" He announced and everyone cheered knowing that meant they were back in Earth's atmosphere and one step closer to home.

"Bring it up on the screen!" The Flight Director waved his hand and the blinking green dot appeared over the map of the United States moving at an incredibly pace.

They watched the dot speed across the screen eating up the massive distance in just minutes, one state after another.

"The news network in Waco, Texas just caught them on film!" The PR man announced with a raging smile. "Said they look like a shooting star blazing through the sky."

"Pull it up on another screen!" The Flight Director motioned another agent and the image appeared with more thunderous cheers to see the shuttle blazing across the early morning sky, still dark as the sun was just under the horizon in Texas.

"Come on, Lena, land this baby." The Flight Director chanted to himself watching their approach on the screen before him now. The tiny black speck of the shuttle growing larger against the purple and pink horizon as the brilliant orange sun rose over the ocean, leading them home.

They held their breath watching the landing gear come down and the reverse thrusters burning and then gasped when the drag chute opened and the wheels finally touched down in a perfect landing. A deafening cheer went up around the room with everyone jumping up and down excitedly with tears of joy and relief in their eyes to see the shuttle slowing down and then coming to a stop. People around the world rejoicing in front of their television sets and computers to watch the LIVE broadcast of their return and to see them land safely.

Like a small organized but excited stampede the group of people waiting for their loved ones moved quickly down the stairs towards the waiting transport that would take them to the tarmac to greet the crew.

***Life is Beautiful***

By the time they arrived on the tarmac, the shuttle had already been shut down and cooled and Emergency personnel were already waiting on standby to take the injured crew to the hospital for treatment. The shuttle door opened and the slide poured out just as they were getting off the bus transport.

Faraj and Luka were the first to shoot down the slide in their bright orange jumpsuits as the two mostly uninjured crewmembers. They waited at the bottom to catch their teammates as Lena sent them down one at a time, in rapid succession…Adam, Matt, Laila, Nick and finally she jumped down the slide after them. The others were already being looked at by the EMTs by the time she hit the bottom but her eyes saw only one person weaving their way towards her through the crowd…_Arman_. Without stopping her momentum from coming down the slide, she ran towards him with blinding tears and inhaling her cry.

Arman ran faster than he ever had before in his life seeing her running towards him with tears streaking from her eyes, blood smears down the sides of her cheek and neck and smiling more widely at him than he'd ever seen before in his life. He scooped her up the second his hands could reach her with bodies slamming together and mouths fusing in desperate kiss, holding on tightly. Her legs wrapping around his waist, his arms around her chest and her hands gripping his head tightly as they kissed brought another round of loud and thunderous cheers to see them reunited and the obvious love between them. The Press went crazy as lights flashed brilliantly around them capturing the moment and no doubt tomorrow's headline photo.

Irina couldn't stop the flow of happy tears from her eyes feeling the love radiating through her body with pounding heart, knowing Lena felt the same and to see her daughter home again and with the one she loved, another miracle had been given. She sent another prayer of thanks towards Heaven and all of their Guardian Angels for bringing Lena back to them.

"Are you okay?" Arman asked pulling back with raining tears to hold her face gently and scan Lena's body, noting the dried blood in her hair and on her face.

"I'm home…and I'm going to marry you. And nothing else matters." She smiled inhaling her cry and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "I love you, to the moon and back… more than all the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth…forever and always, Arman." She kissed his face all over with a constant flood of tears in relief and joy. "Mama…" She gasped as her eyes caught sight of her mother standing not too far behind them and kissed Arman soundly once more with a smile before unwrapping her legs and arms and making a beeline towards her mother, jumping on her and nearly knocking her over with arms wrapping tightly around her neck.

"I knew you could do it." Irina whispered with a smile into her ear and cried holding Lena tightly, chest pressed to chest even through the thick fabric of the space suit, Irina could feel Lena's heart thundering against her own needing a moment of connection and 'refueling' as Lena had always called it. "I am so proud of you…so proud." She kissed Lena's head and closed her eyes in thanks and prayers. "I love you, to the moon and back…more than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth…"

"Forever and always." Lena finished, pulling back with a smile and kissing her mother's cheek repeatedly before hugging her tightly once more. "Thank you…for being there. I feel like I can do anything with you by my side." She whispered against her mother's ear with a smile. "Thank you, Mama."

"I will always be with you, My Little Love. Forever and always." Irina pulled back enough to cup Lena's face and look into her big brown eyes. "I love you and I'm so happy you're home."

* * *

Irina and Jack held hands as they walked through the hospital room door, smiling softly to see Lena asleep in the bed and Arman asleep sitting in the chair beside her. His head was lying on the bed beside Lena and their hands and fingers intertwined, unwilling to let go even in sleep.

Irina leaned over and dropped a light kiss to Lena's forehead with tears in her eyes, smiling softly before doing the same with Arman. Both were so exhausted that neither stirred beneath her delicate kiss.

"She's going to be okay." Jack whispered with a relieved smile, pulling Irina into his side and looking down at Lena asleep in the bed, looking so peaceful and he was comforted by the sound of the steady rhythm of beeps coming from her heart monitor.

"I know. But I don't want to leave her." Irina whispered back looking at her beautiful baby who had grown into a such a remarkable woman. "I just want to watch her sleep. See her chest rise and fall… hear her heart beating…and know, that she's really going to be okay."

Jack smiled leaning over to kiss Irina's temple gently and tugged on her hand, pulling her back towards the little sofa in Lena's room to sit beside him. Without saying a word, she curled into his side and tucked her head beneath his chin. Both fell asleep watching their daughter do the same and knowing, she was once again safe and sound.

* * *

"Hi there, Sleeping Beauty." Sydney smiled at Lena when her eyes began to flutter open. She'd been sitting beside her keeping vigil with Nadia for the last four hours giving Arman time to go home, sleep, shower and change. "How are you feeling?" She asked grazing her thumb nervously over the back of Lena's hand.

"Tired…and I still have a headache." Lena answered wincing slightly as she lifted her hand towards her head and felt the tender skin around the sutures hidden underneath her hair. "How long have I been out?" She asked taking note of the fact it was dark outside.

"Nearly 48 hours." Nadia answered leaning over to kiss Lena's forehead gently with new tears, wiping them away before they fell with a smile in relief to see her awake. "Your body was exhausted."

_"48 hours!"_ Lena gasped with eyes going wide, "That means I'm supposed to be getting married in 48 hours! We need to go." She sat forward rapidly, throwing back her blankets.

"_Whoa there,_ Tiger." Sydney put her hand on her arm to stop her with a soft giggling laugh. "You're not going anywhere just yet."

"I can't be late to my own wedding." Lena shook her head, throwing her legs over the side of the bed.

"Mom, Dad and Arman already talked about it." Sydney began quietly, "Given everything that's happened, they've decided to push the wedding back until you're feeling better. They've already made an announcement to the public."

"No!" Lena gasped shaking her head with eyebrows narrowing. "I don't want to push the wedding back. I'm fine." She cried with upset thinking about pushing back the wedding. "I am marrying the man I love in 48 hours, just as I promised him I would do."

"Lena…" Sydney sighed softly. "He isn't upset at all. He's just thankful like the rest of us, that you're here and alive and that's all that matters."

"No, I am marrying him in 48 hours, Nee-Nee." Lena cried shaking her head that they didn't understand. "The whole time I was out there, fixing those tiles… Not knowing if we were going to live or die… if I would ever return… I was begging God, to please get me home. Home to my family and the man I love. The one thing that kept me going when I was so tired and in such pain, was thinking about marrying Arman, and seeing his face as I walked down the aisle towards him." She sniffled squeezing both Nadia and Sydney's hands as they held hers and cried with her. "I am marrying the man I love in 48 hours." She said with determination. "Even if I have to bust out of here, no force on Earth… will keep me from him. I am marrying him…just as we planned."

Sydney smiled more widely with a soft laugh, reaching forward to wipe the tears rolling from Lena's eyes. "Then let's get you out of here…and married to the man you love." She added softly with a raging smile, willing to help Lena do whatever it took to finally get to her _'happily ever after.' _

"Sydney, what is it? What's wrong?" Irina asked seeing Sydney walking towards them in the Waiting Room where everyone had congregated. She saw the look in her daughter's eyes and tear tracks staining her cheeks.

A slow smile spread across Sydney's lips, "Nothing is wrong." She shook her head, "The wedding is back on." She smiled more radiantly shifting her gaze to Arman who had just arrived back as well. "Lena is awake. She said, and I quote… _no force on Earth will keep her from marrying you, just as planned._"

"Then we'd better get moving." Irina smiled through happy tears. "I'll make the call." She grabbed Sydney, hugging her tightly and kissing her head before leaving to make the call to get things rolling again.

Within two hours, Lena had been discharged and everyone was onboard _Imperial One_, flying back to Russia.

Lena had fallen asleep once again curled into Arman's chest nearly the moment she was buckled into her seat. Arman pressed his lips gently against the top of her head before looking up and catching Irina's smiling eyes watching them. He smiled back at her with a knowing smile, sharing a silent conversation about all that it had taken to get them to this point. Irina had told him long ago that, _if he were patient Lena would follow him, she just needed time_. He had given it to her and Lena had taken the final step in letting go of her past when she was in space and had literally, run towards her future with Arman on the tarmac, fighting her way back to him through time and space. _No force on Earth, could keep her from marrying him…_ The words echoed through Arman's heart and soul and he kissed Lena's head once more before snuggling down against her and closing his own eyes, finally able to sleep soundly with her by his side again.

* * *

**_*Never Grow Old*_**

_St. Petersburg, Russia – Alexander Palace - September 26, 2026_

Lena smoothed her hands down the front of her wedding gown taking a nervous breath in front of the massive mirrors and turned to look at the back once in quick check to make sure everything was in place when she heard the soft knock on the door.

"Yes…come in, Mama." She smiled knowing who it was by the knock cadence.

Irina walked in one step and stopped gasping audibly with a flood of instant tears. "You look…oh, Sweetheart," she cried shaking her head with a smile, "so beautiful." She finished in a choked voice stepping forward with hand over her mouth looking Lena over from head to toe. She was wearing her wedding dress, the one she wore when she remarried Jack and it fit perfectly and caused of flood of tears to fly through her remembering that day and thinking about the fact that Lena was only four months old at the time.

"You have good taste." Lena smiled with her own flooding tears reaching out to grasp her mother's hand with giant train swishing behind her. "Thank you for letting me wear it." She had wanted to wear it so badly, ever since she was a little girl and first saw the pictures of her mother on her wedding day to her father in the ceremony where he said her 'real name' she smiled at the thought thinking about the joy in her mother's voice and smile every time she told Lena the tale as a bedtime story.

"I can't believe my, Snuggle Bug is getting married." Irina cried with a smile cupping Lena's face gently. "He's going to forget to breathe when he sees you." She laughed softly remembering jack forgetting to and turning blue. "I'm so happy for you…" her voice quivered and dropped off with a new cry of happiness at how far Lena had come and all that she'd been through, was finally getting a truly perfect day with a bright future. Lena threw her arms around her seconds later and two held each other for a long time in silence with raging tears.

"I love you, Mama…to the moon and back," Lena started holding Irina's hand with a smile while sniffling.

"More than the stars in the heavens," Irina added with a smile trying to fight back her tears.

"And the grains of sand on Earth…forever and always, Mama…I love you." Lena's voice quivered and she shook her head with a soft laugh, leaning forward and kissing her mother wrapping her arms around her again carefully, "thank you… for everything…for being my mama."

"I love you, too and you never have to thank me for being your mama…it is my honor and privilege…I'm so proud of you, Lena…of who you are and who you've become," Irina cried with her, cupping her face again, "My baby grew up." She sighed with a smile, "There are no words to express how much I love you." She added with a voice in almost a whisper feeling like her heart would explode with the love she had for her child. "I thank god everyday for bringing you into my life…I'd be lost without you."

Lena only cried harder and ferociously hugged her mother not having any words either to express how much she meant to her and thus, decided to let their hearts pressed together in their chests pound against each other with their own declarations. "I love you, Mama…I love you." She cried softly with a hiccup.

"And I love you, Lena…" Irina kissed her head and then pulled her back with a gorgeous smile taking a deep breath and causing Lena to do the same trying to stem their tears and laughed softly at so much emotion, "This is only just the beginning, Sweetheart…now is the time to start your happily ever after." She smiled reaching up to wipe Lena's tears.

"I'm ready for the happily ever after part…" Lena sniffled with a smile making her mother laugh.

"No matter what happens in life I want you to know that I'm always here for you, always my little heart, My Little Love," Irina's voice cracked with emotion and a smile at the thought the after today, all her children would be married. "Nothing changes between us and from now on, only grows that much stronger."

Lena hugged her again tightly unable to stop herself and laughed softly with Irina when she did, holding her tightly once more. "Alright Sweetheart, are you ready?" Irina pulled back asking and readjusting the necklace on Lena's neck, the same massive white diamonds she'd worn.

"Yes." Lena smiled widely and clasped Irina's fingers.

**_*Over the Rainbow*_**

Lena walked out of the room holding her mother's hand and heard the audible gasps from her family that was waiting below and couldn't' stop the flow of tears as she walked carefully down the marble staircase towards her father and saw the tears streaming from his eyes.

She had managed to take Jack's breath away and he shook his head softly with a smile and unchecked raging tears at seeing her in Irina's wedding dress and looking exactly the same.

"You're breathtaking, Peanut." He smiled, leaning over and kissing her offering her his arm and crying more. He'd cried at seeing all his girls in their wedding gowns on their wedding days but to see Lena in Irina's dress and remember all that took them to get the to that point then and what they'd all gone through from then to now, was overwhelming him in emotion.

He guided her outside to the waiting carriage and waved to the people lining the streets everywhere with the massive scale of her wedding considering she was the Tsarevicha and the world was celebrating her long awaited day of happiness with her in tears and joy. The entire event was being broadcast around the world with the reception being private and out of the view of cameras allowing for some intimacy.

As with her sister's before her, her mother was her matron of honor and held Dmi in her arms waiting for their turn to walk down the aisle with Elektra standing adorably by her side with wide eyes of excitement in the cathedral for her turn very excited about throwing the rose petals down. The wedding party was massive with amount of siblings and their spouses, nieces and nephews, and cousins all everyone looked gorgeous walking one at a time down the aisle while the groomsmen already stood at attention in the front of the cathedral with Arman.

As soon as Sydney set off down the aisle, Irina set Dmitri down with a kiss and a smile while Elektra took his little hand and then kissed her granddaughter the same, kneeling down in her own extravagant gown with imperial regalia to adjust the tiara on Elektra's head as it was slightly off and then gave them their cue, 'okay…when I get to the front you start following me and walk slowly.' She spoke to them in a whisper and then set off down the massive aisle.

The woman was gorgeous and still took everyone's breath away to be seen in the flesh and dressed up like the brilliant Tsar she was and many gasped with tears to see her passing them with tears in her eyes, nodding towards Arman with a raging smile and then wink knowing he was about to see the most beautiful sight of his life.

Just as they were told, Elektra started down the aisle after her babushka with Dmitri when Irina reached the front and everyone awed at their immediate cuteness with Dmitri in his tiny but perfect Imperial uniform with the same white jacket as Papa Jack and red pants with the golden stripes down his legs and gold buttons with his little blue Imperial sash as he toddled forth with a raging smile and wave. Elektra's gown was almost exactly like Lena's but much smaller and her two-year old cuteness was infectious as she batted her long eyelashes and threw petals down with giggles while trying to hold Dmi back and talking to him loudly telling him to slow down as, "Babushka said to walk slowly."

When they made it to the front Nicholas wrangled his son into his arms, with a kiss and a smile content to hold him through the service and Elektra went to stand beside her cousin Lara holding onto her hand while exclaiming, "I did it!" and sending a chuckle through the massive stone structure.

A roaring gasp surged through everyone when Lena on Jack's arm appeared at the back of the cathedral and instant tears started falling in rampant streams from their eyes to see her marching up the aisle to _'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'_ with her father, everyone knowing it had been the lullaby Jack sang to her when she was little which became public knowledge after Irina was hospitalized with the birth of the twins and he was caught singing it to Lena in the hallways and made all the more famous with Lena's most recent trip to space, dedicating the same song her father and everyone around the world hearing it echo from space. And as promised, every single member of her Luna Crew from the last heroic mission was standing together, watching with tear-filled eyes of happiness to see her walking down the aisle, breathtakingly gorgeous and a raging smile on her face to be walking towards the man she loved.

The unstoppable tears rolling from Jack's eyes only caused them all to cry more seeing him with so much emotion and Lena's eyes were locked onto Arman's whose mouth had fallen open slightly and he stopped breathing with raging tears of his own at seeing her for the first time.

"I swear to God, she looks just like Irina in that dress." Dixon gasped to his wife, as Hayden had never seen Irina on that day and who was dabbing at her own tears. His own eyes were flushed with tears at the thought that it had taken a great deal with both couples going through an extraordinarily lot, before finally finding their happiness together.

"Breathe buddy," Rurik whispered squeezing Arman's arm slightly noticing he hadn't and seeing him sway slightly, he smiled hearing the elongated inhale while Arman never took his eyes from Lena's now standing just a few feet from him.

"Who hear gives this woman to be married to this man?" The priest stepped forward while Irina joined Jack on the other side of Lena wearing a raging tear-filled smile.

"Her mother and I do." Jack said for the last time with his last daughter and sent another wave of tears through his eyes when he nodded, softly kissing Lena and hugging her before passing her hand to Arman's for the first time.

**_*Marry Me*_**

The ceremony was as breathtaking as Lena was with the two never ceasing to look anywhere but at each other with their tears and smiles never fading throughout. The entire time the priest was speaking both Jack and Irina's eyes couldn't be torn from their daughter as her life passed before their eyes from the first moment each of them found out about her until, her birth and first smile and giggle, the first time she crawled and walked, her first word of 'mama' and all that followed in a rapid stream of memories all the way up until this morning with the both of them waking up and Lena sleeping between them, just as Sydney and Nadia had both done on the night before they got married and smiled at each other over her sleeping form with tears in their eyes, kissing each other softly over her and then waking her with simultaneous kisses to both cheeks.

"I, Lena Alix Irina Ivanova Romanova Bristowva take you, Arman Lukasavich Reznikov…" Lena began her vows with steady but emotion filled voice, "to be my lawfully wedded husband…" the tears were raining down everyone's face to hear her and see the joy and light in her eyes and smile and watching as they only grew when Arman said his in turn to her.

"I, Arman Lukasavich Reznikov take you, Lena Alix Irina Ivanova Romanova Bristowva to be my lawfully wedded wife…" his own smile was brilliant saying those words and having his dreams come true.

The parents of the ones they had loved so dearly and lost so tragically sat together with both mother's holding hands tightly with raging tears of happiness for both Lena and Arman at finding love again and being so happy, knowing their children would be the same. Over the last emotional roller-coaster of a week, with highs and lows, the two sets of parents had met and clicked instantly with raging smiles and laughs of relief that Lena was home, safe and sound.

Antony's parents would always think of Lena as their daughter and Angelina's would always think of Arman as their son and thus, they had decided, they too would share grandchildren in a way someday bringing additional light into their hearts.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife…you may kiss your bride." The priest smiled at them and Arman leaned in with a raging smile, kissing her soundly and then earning loud cheers when he picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck, not exactly by the book for royal weddings but everyone loved the great show of emotion and happiness between the two.

They separated with raging smiles and kissed again twice quickly on the lips amongst loud clapping before he set her down again and it was time to get serious again seeing the priest nod at Irina. Her ladies in waiting approached robbing her with her gorgeous Imperial robe removed the tiara on her head to replace it with the official crown following her to the throne set back under the altar of the church and then placed her scepter and orb in her hands while she smiled at Arman seeing his nervousness when now standing alone facing her as Lena had gone to the side.

**_*PM's Love Theme*_**

Irina mouthed, '_abra-ca-dabra'_ to him with a smile to ease his tension making him smile trying not to laugh shaking his head softly that she knew about that remark with her scepter in hand as her musical theme began playing with the full orchestra while everyone looked on with pride and tears waiting for his own coronation ceremony into the Imperial Family began and they placed the satin pillow before him.

The priest stepped before him and anointed him with oil and the mark of the cross to his forehead and then stepped away with Irina nodding at him softly and he knelt down before her. His chest was rising and falling rapidly with pounding heart, more nervous about this than marrying Lena and swallowed hard repeatedly when she stood and approached.

She gave him an enormous and gorgeous smile as she handed her orb and scepter to her attendant and then took off her crown pressing it lightly to his forehead where the mark of the cross had been placed and then replacing it back on her head. The blue sash was handed to her and she kissed it before placing it over his head and then secured the Imperial symbol of the Romanovs and the Order of St. Andrew to it before summoning him to stand. She nodded at him softly and motioned for him to turn and take his bride and the place erupted into cheers with thunderous applause and wild tears. Arman's mother couldn't stop smiling looking at her son whose life had never been easy since before birth and had worked so hard for the life he wanted and now had.

When they exited the cathedral, Arman helped Lena into her coach and then mounted his own white steed having now become one of the Officers in her Majesty's Imperial Life-Guards and joined Jack on the opposite side with a raging smile as they lead the procession on to Peterhof where the massive reception would be taking place. He looked every bit the part of Prince Charming riding along side his glorious bride and waving to the adoring public who had fallen in love with him long ago and harder still after capturing her airport dash and acceptance to his marriage proposal to keep her love from flying away. They had fallen all the more in love with him during the past week watching his reunion with Lena after her heroic return from space, seeing her once again leaping into his arms and kissing him madly so happy to see him again. The image of him looking so incredibly handsome in his formal Naval dress whites with Lena wrapped around him, still wearing her bright orange space suit, smiling and kissing each other during their reunion had become a world favorite in the Press and covered magazines everywhere. The world had found a new love story to be completely enamored with, one that was beginning to rival her own parents with all the dramatic passion and obvious love between them after each had suffered such horrendous heartache.

**_*The Greatest Reward*_**

Lena and Arman took the dance floor after the serving of dinner to have their first dance as husband and wife with the song being written specifically for them by a friend of their family who was singing it now, and Celine had tears stinging her eyes behind her smile as she began and held everyone's attention looking at the madly in love couple before them.

"I remember your wedding and thinking it wouldn't be too long before she was walking down the aisle after you," Oprah smiled over at Sydney with raging happy tears still seeing the tiny happy baby in her mind that Lena was at Sydney's wedding. "It seems like yesterday…"

"I know…" Sydney cried with a smile looking from her back to Lena with Arman wiping pitifully at her tears and squeezing Vaughn's hand.

"So Mama," Jack whispered into Irina's ear with a smile and thick emotion lacing his voice watching his daughter and her 'husband' dancing for the first time, "What does his name mean?"

His question made Irina smile through her tears while they carried on their whispering conversation between just the two of them, "Arman means _'protective,_" her eyes flashed from her new son-in-law to her husband seeing his surprise and great approval, "and Lukasvich means 'the light." She smiled that he had that in common with her daughter.

"Perfect." Jack smiled shaking his head softly in awe before kissing her lips softly with new tears in his eyes loving her more everyday. "I love you, My Love…" he whispered against her ear when he pulled back with a smile flooded with emotion that the last of their children was now married and proud of the job they'd done in raising them looking around at all their smiling tear filled faces as they watched Lena and Arman.

Their children, and grandchildren were the 'lights' of their life and none of it would have happened most likely, without the true 'light' in their life, Lena, whose conception gave them all a second chance and reason to hope for a future together…and now, she was finally getting the future and hope for the future she deserved.

**_*The Way You Look Tonight*_**

When Lena's and Arman's dance ended and everyone clapped the orchestra began playing the song that Jack had danced with Lena to since she was a baby. His eyes flooded with tears taking the floor with her for their father daughter dance.

"You are so beautiful…and you look amazing," Jack smiled whispering to her while the two danced as if they were the only two there in her nursery once again or in the middle of the night in the living room like when she was little. "Congratulations, Peanut." He cried with a smile making her cry and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, dancing cheek to cheek in a tight embrace and raging tears.

He started singing along with the words softly in her ear for a few minutes and then stopped when his voice caught with such an emotion he couldn't swallow as the memories flooded him, "I can still see you…in my mind like it was yesterday…coming into your room and seeing your brilliant little smile looking up at me from the crib…and I'd pick you up…and we'd rock with you holding me very tightly…little on my chest and tiny hand patting me." He smiled with crack in his voice shaking his head softly, "You'd only stay there a few minutes before you'd slide rapidly off my lap chanting 'Mama' over and over determined to go get your mother and making me smile…I cherished those mornings with you…that you'd allow me to hold you as long as you did…just you and me in comfortable silence…my little Peanut in your adorable footy pajamas…now look at you?" He pulled back to smile at her, "All grown up and gorgeous wearing your mother's wedding gown…you grew up too fast on me. His smile wavered with a flush of new tears and Lena kissed his cheek with her own flood of tears.

"I do remember some flashes of that…" Lena smiled at him with the same gorgeous eyes and smile belonging to her mother, "What I loved the most and remember the most of my time with you when I was little…was when Mama was away working…and I'd get to be your Snuggle Buddy until she came home…we both missed her terribly but I always felt better knowing I was going to get to snuggle with my Daddy when Mama was away…" She saw the look of surprise in his eyes that she'd remembered and hearing her say how much it meant to her, "I always felt so safe with you…you made everything better." Her voice quivered with more tears falling and swallowed the lump in her throat with a soft smile, "You'll always be my Dad-_dy_…" she pitched her voice with the crescendo saying his name like she did as a baby and knowing how much it meant to him, "Thank you…for being such a great father…for loving me through good and bad." Her voice cracked again thinking about their relationship, "I love you, Daddy… and I'll always be your Peanut." She smiled widely through glistening eyes wiping the tears from his cheek with one hand kissing his lips and then hugging him tightly as the song ended and he hugged her closing his eyes and smiling with a soft laugh and new tears feeling her patting his back just behind his neck and shoulder like she always did when she was little dancing with him.

**_*Ho Hey*_**

The tempo of the upbeat song came on and everyone from the Wedding Party and family came onto the floor with raging smiles to dance and laugh with Jack releasing his daughter to her new husband and taking his own wife into his arms kissing her with a smile.

It wasn't long before Luka cut in and asked to dance with Lena, his former Shuttle Commander, with a raging smile and Arman graciously obliged knowing this last mission crew would always be close for having gone through what the had, forever friends and in their lives. He stepped back beside the others in their little group of astronauts and friends and laughed softly with them when Luka let loose with a crazy dance move that had Lena's smile lighting her face with laughter. They watched for a while when Nick leaned over and whispered quietly to Arman, "I think he's madly in love with your wife." He chuckled.

"I don't blame him." Arman smiled widely before laughing, "So am I!" He slapped Nick on the back with a smile and went back to steal his new bride away from her smitten colleague.

"Alright Papa, stop hogging Babushka," Alexei smiled with a brilliant flash in his eyes and laugh holding Dmitri, "Her grandsons want a chance to dance with her." He smiled bouncing with his cousin making the little boy laugh and reach for Irina whom he loved dearly.

Alexei's green eyes were so much like his mother's and he looked a great deal like her now that he was older with his hair turning dark instead of the bright blonde it used to be like his father's though, as his looks changed more in favor of his gorgeous mother, Ash, his personality grew more and more like his father Julian.

"Papa Jack!" Elektra squealed running at Jack on full-speed and launching into his arms with a peel of laughter, "Save me fwum da tickle monstew!" she scrunched into him seeing Felix chasing her with his hand like the clawing laughing, he too, was just like his father always clowning around and making everyone laugh. "No Fewix! No!" she squealed making them all laugh and Felix try to tickle her around jack as everyone knew that 'no' when being tickled, meant 'yes.' "Papa! Save me!" she cried again with tiny giggles practically climbing over Jack to get away from Felix.

"Okay okay…time out." Jack laughed calling a halt to the tickling when he was being choked by his two-year old granddaughter who was quite the little gymnast like her mother and climbing quite skillfully over and around him. "Alright Felix…no more tickling, the Wiggle Bug." He smiled at the younger man speaking with a harsh tone with both of them knowing this was part of the game with Elektra.

"No, Papa Jack!" she cupped his face with her tiny hands forcing jack to turn his head and look at her in his arms, "Fewix is pwaying wid me…don't be mad at him Papa…poor Fewix." She shook her head and Irina, Alexei, Jack and Felix all tried to stifle their laughter. "Tell Fewix it is okay to tickle me, Papa…pwease."

"Okay, but only if you say so," Jack kissed her neck making her giggle and then handing her over to Felix, "Felix, its okay for you to tickle the Wiggle Bug.' He nodded with a smile and then laughed when Felix started tickling her again and she threw her head back in laughter while they walked off the dance floor towards the dessert table.

"She is so cute." Alexei smiled watching Elektra wiggle out of Felix's arms trying to reach for the dessert she wanted. "She reminds me so much of Nadia sometimes it is scary." He laughed with Jack and Irina nodding in agreement.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Nadia came up beside them wrapping her arm around Jack's waist and he kissed her head with a smile.

"Only when she scares us to death by climbing up the bookshelves, jumping out of the tree house and climbing on the banister just as you used to do." Jack laughed shaking his head. "You kept us on our toes!"

"And she keeps me on mine, believe me. She was trying to take her dress off and run naked not ten minutes ago." Nadia shook her head laughing.

"Your sister did that at our wedding." Sophia smiled beside them laughing and eyes flashing over to Lena shaking her head in wonder at how quickly time had really past. "Quite the exhibitionist…Elektra must get that from Lena and your mother." She winked at Irina while singing, "_She's got legs_..." softly and making everyone near them burst into laughter who was there to remember both Irina's lap dance and saw Lena's.

"True." Weiss smiled coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her from behind, "But I also distinctly remember Nadia's wild _Naked Island Girl Dance_ in Fiji with her need to naked as well." He laughed, "Course, Lena started that too with her questions about 'why Mama and Daddy still danced naked without clothes on if they couldn't have more babies?"

Everyone roared with laughter while Jack burned bright red with a tight-lipped smile and Irina kissed his cheek.

"That was a trip to remember." Lana smiled nodding with wide amused eyes, "My first real '_Tsar exposure_." Her comments only caused everyone to roar louder especially when she slanted her eyebrow adding, "And I do mean the first…there were quite a few times after over these years I've bore witness first hand to the _gravity of their love." _

"Awe…" Everyone around them then smiled and cooed exaggeratedly with Irina grabbed Jack's chin with her fingers smiling and kissed him twice in succession taking his mind off embarrassment and putting it into promise of 'later.'

"So where are you sending the happy couple on their honeymoon, Your Majesty?" Weiss smiled widely knowing that they were continuing the tradition of Irina and Jack providing the honeymoon trip and it being a surprise.

"Well it's more difficult than you can imagine trying to find a place for them to have a honeymoon with some privacy, especially after the events of the past week with everyone becoming even more enamored with their love story," Irina shook her head with sigh and a smile thinking about how every place she and Jack talked about and looked into, the Press had gotten wind of and photographers were now camped out everywhere around the world and those spots just waiting for the shots of the new _Space Hero_ Tsarevicha with her new husband.

Sadly, countries outside Russia didn't afford her daughter the same respect and courtesy that had become standard with Lena over her lifetime in Russia. As long as she gave them opportunities for pictures, they were content and happy, continuing on with the way things had been started by Irina long ago when they took over as the ruling force when Lena was just a baby. The paparazzi didn't hunt them in Russia like they did around the rest of the world and that left few options now considering the magnitude and following of Lena's life and wedding leading to her 'happily ever after.'

Irina smiled over at Jack brushing her fingers over his jaw-line and kissing him when he smiled, "We think we've found them the perfect private place…the last place anyone is probably ever going to think to look for them."

"I will die of hysterical laughter if you send them to your hotel in Panama." Weiss's eyes went wide and then did laugh hysterically seeing the simultaneous looks of mischief and amusement pass through both Jack and Irina's eyes looking at him as everyone else around them burst into laughter along with him at the idea.

* * *

**_*Mondo Bongo*_**

_Rosarita, Mexico_

Arman followed Lena inside the starkly lit bungalow with a smile when she flipped the switch and a lamp came on in the corner. It was exactly like it had been in the films and he smiled over to her when she smiled back at him.

"It's perfect." He smiled setting their bags down. All they wanted was some time alone and away from everyone else and this was exactly what they were looking for. "Do they still come here often?" He asked with a smile walking around looking at the pictures set up on various tables and dressers of the family from various years.

"At least a couple of times a year." Lena smiled walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist looking at the glass plaque that was a memorial for her brother that had caught Arman off guard. Seeing it suddenly made the baby he'd heard about, saw flashes of his loss in the film, that much more real.

His finger reached out to trace the tiny footprints reading over the names and Lena saw the flash of her brother before her eyes and his smile telling her she wasn't supposed to be heaven yet. "He was conceived here…" she offered quietly kissing the back of Arman's shoulder with a soft smile.

"I remember…from the films." Arman responded with his own quiet smile turning back slightly to kiss her head and then fully to envelope her in his arms. "A lot of love here." He smiled leaning down to capture her lips in a sweet kiss, his hips started swaying with hers as they began to dance slowly in the muggy heat of the night. His hand slid slowly up her arm and found her hand, tangling their fingers between their chests while they danced with soft laughter and smiles. "I can't believe you're my wife." He smiled down looking into her gorgeous brown eyes with awe, "I've been pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming."

"Pinching hurts…" Lena smiled brushing her nose with his, "Just kiss me instead, Husband." She whispered against his lips and he did kiss her with hands moving to her hair and tangling there when their kiss deepened.

They began their own slow dance of making love repeatedly until the sun came up and smiled and laughed cuddling in bed while looking through the dictionary from the table beside the bed at where her parents had put the pictures of all their children and grandchildren under definitions. Arman smiled with an 'awe' when he saw the face of Lena at around age two looking back at them in a photograph under the definition of '_light._'

They were both more than a little surprised to find his picture had already been added as a new son-in-law under '_protective_' and he'd never felt more a part of the family, than holding the dictionary in his hands in that moment, blinking back tears that he'd been included as well in this book that was so private and intimate, had meant so much to Jack and Irina and was just theirs in this place with so much meaning.

"They must have put you in when they were here just after the launch." Lena smiled happily, kissing his naked chest just over his heart before taking the book and setting it aside to crawl over him and look down with adoring eyes. "I love you." She smiled before dropping her head to kiss his lips and start their dance all over again.

When their week of paradise was over, they stayed another week in Los Angeles before returning to Russia with gorgeous dark tans and matching indistinguishable smiles. A photograph of them in their bathing suits with Armans' arms draped over Lena from behind as they sat in the sun with the bright sunlight on them was the one and only photograph Lena released to the Russian Press keeping them happy with having something while keeping the rest of their honeymoon together private and just for them.

* * *

**_*Home *_**

St. Petersburg, Russia – Alexander Palace

When they returned to Russia, most of Arman's personal things had already been moved into the palace. Lena smiled widely as she held her hands over his eyes guiding him down the hallway and towards their own new section of rooms that formed their own apartment of sorts, a place that would be just their own, giving the newlyweds privacy if they wished.

"No peeking!" Lena laughed when Arman's hands covered hers and he nearly tripped walking through the door.

"You are hilarious. Why can't I just close my eyes?" He laughed with a raging smile already knowing why she wouldn't trust him to do so. He was notorious for being unable to wait for any surprise.

"Because I know you, and you'd peek." Lena smiled with the same playful laughter, stopping him in the doorway of their new bedroom. "Okay," She took a deep breath and let it go. "You can open them now." She prompted dropping her hands and setting him free to look.

Arman's eyes flashed open and lit into a wide grin to see their own massive bed in the center of the glorious room, the balcony doors and fireplace. The little touches from both of their previous lives that now mixed and mingled throughout the space that made the place their 'home.'

He laughed shaking his head with a smile walking forward to see only a few of her Olympic medals now beautifully displayed next to each other in their new case. "You've downgraded considerably here." He smiled with a soft laugh feeling her come up behind him and wrap her arms around his waist, pressing her lips into his shoulder as she always did. "Where is the rest of your spectacular hardware, My Olympic Goddess?" He asked quietly taking note of which Olympic medals she had chosen to display in their mutual case and how she had chosen to display them.

"They are still in my old room." Lena answered him quietly looking over his shoulder. "But these…have meaning to me, for the both of us. Our Gold Medals for our beloved 1,500m in both the Moscow and Los Angeles Games." She smiled seeing the paired Olympic Gold medals side-by-side on display, with both of them having dominated the even two Olympics in a row.

There were photos beside those medals of each of them receiving congratulatory hugs and kisses from both Antony and Angelina after the Moscow Games. Arman instantly recognized the photo of Lena in Antony's arms at the finish line with her arms and legs wrapped around him in happiness. It had been the photo she'd kept previously on her nightstand beside her bed and his heart began to pound listening to her speak.

"But it was also during those Moscow Games, that we met for the first time…pressed chest to chest in that tiny elevator after finishing the Marathon. You had won Silver that day, and I Gold." Lena was speaking so quietly with mouth near his ear, her breath tickled his neck and sent a shiver down his spine feeling her body pressed against his from behind. "And the last two from the Games in LA…my Gold in the Marathon… the day we met again, the day you came to my rescue and the first time we were ever together," new tears flooded her eyes with a smile thinking about that night in his room in the Athlete's Village, "And my Gold for Judo, what I consider…the first day…of the rest of our lives together. Because I knew after spending one night with you, that I wanted and needed you in my life and my body literally ached for you. I look at that medal, and see nothing but you now." She added in a whisper, "I only wish that you hadn't had to drop out of the marathon due to your injuries. I will forever feel badly about that."

"Don't." Arman answered quickly with a smile turning in her arms to hold her more closely. He lifted his hand to her face and tilted her chin gently to look him in the eye. "When I look at those last two medals of yours from the LA Games, I see and think about the exact same things you do. I see 'us.' I see you standing at my door wearing that sundress and looking incredibly gorgeous. I feel your lips on mine for the first time and the way your body felt surrounding me. I feel the shockwave of want and desire and need that your heart pressed against mine sent through my entire body. When I look at those medals, I remember what it felt like the moment you brought me back to life again and made me feel things I thought I'd never feel again. So don't feel badly about my having to drop out of that race ever again." He smiled wiping away her tears, "Because it means nothing in comparison to what I found that day." He leaned in kissing her lips lightly, "I found you." He whispered and Lena lunged forward, kissing him deeply and pushing him back towards their new bed with a smile.

"I love you." She smiled looking down at him before starting their own dance of love.

Arman smiled with tears in his eyes when he woke in the morning with Lena draped over his chest. His fingers dancing lightly down her spine, his eyes landed on the photos in frames on the nightstands beside their bed. Lena's side of the bed had only four small photos in beautifully delicate frames. Two he recognized now from Lena's old room: the side-by-side photos of Irina with Lena asleep against her chest as a baby, and of Lena with baby Antony against her own chest. And the two new photos of them together, one of their wedding portraits that made him smile from ear to ear in reminding himself she really was his wife now and they were married, and the other that brought turned his raging smile into a tight lipped grin as he fought back the flush of new tears in his eyes, a photo of their raging smiles on the tarmac after her last mission to space, her body wrapped around his with legs tightly around his waist and hands threaded into his hair as she kissed his face. The love between them in this image, was obvious. It represented everything they had found in each other, and would never take for granted again.

* * *

_**AN: No, it's not the end! :) I will let you know when it is.**_


	73. Chapter 73

_**AN: Music for this chapter (on repeat): Good Life **_**by One Republic**_**, Now We Are Free **_**by Hans Zimmer from Gladiator Soundtrack**_**, It's Not For Me To Say **_**by Johnny Mathis,**_** Never Grow Old **_**by The Cranberries**_**, Believe **_**by Josh Groban**_**, Away in a Manger **_**by Jeff Victor**_**, You've Got the Love by The Source ft. Candi Stanton**__**, Nara by **_**E.S. Posthumus**_**, My Heart Will Go On **_**by Celine Dion**

* * *

SEVENTY-THREE

o

**_*Good Life*_**

When Christmas rolled around a couple of months later, Anya and Rurik made the announcement that they were engaged and planned on marrying in April, the two having been inseparable since the weekend in Vegas in August and succumbing to their mutual attraction. Mia announced her own engagement to her boyfriend of the last two years, Ilia in January with their own wedding plans being made for June. Life was moving full speed ahead in happiness for the family with mothers and daughters of three generations enthusiastically prepared for the two new weddings.

In July, everyone met in Los Angeles to celebrate Jack and Ria's birthdays. Ria had been in the city for the last three months filming her latest movie, and brought along her gorgeous co-star Ryan to her birthday dinner to meet the family and the couple made _two_ stunning announcements that left them all in stunned awe and Julian paling considerably. First, was that they were getting married next month and second, they were expecting a baby of their own in March of next year…they'd just found out this morning in the best birthday present she could ever think of receiving.

"This is fabulous!" Anya squealed jumping up and hugging her cousin and then flashing her smile back at her own husband, Rurik. "It goes along perfectly with our own announcement…I'm pregnant, too!"

Whatever oxygen was left in the room was sucked out with the large gasp as Vaughn joined Julian in sitting heavily with a stunned thump on the sofa at learning he too was about to become a grandfather while Jack's eyes only bugged further at hearing he was going to be a great-grandfather times two.

"When are you due?" Ria squealed with a teary smile excited to be sharing this experience with her cousin as well.

"Well actually, it seems the tradition in this family continues with marking special occasions because we got pregnant on our honeymoon," Anya smiled with tears in her eyes over at her husband and then flashed to her grandmother, "And the babies are due on your birthday, Babushka…and Lara." She smiled at her little sister whose eyes widened considerably.

"Did you just say babies?" Lara asked with a gasp the question at the forefront of everyone's minds in that second.

"Yes, we're having twins…a boy and a girl." Anya smiled widely while everyone went crazy with excitement.

"Wait, wait, wait," Mia smiled holding her hand up with a teary-eyed smile, "As long as we're all sharing-"

"Oh god," Weiss sucked in a sharp breath with heart skipping a beat.

"I'm pregnant too." Mia smiled and Weiss fell instantly onto the couch on the other side of Julian taking up the space next to the other newly stunned grandfathers to be while his wife went crazy with tears of joy and more excited screams and bouncing took place. "And I'm due in the middle of February." She exclaimed excitedly while everyone roared with laughter and smiles hearing she was due around Jack and Irina's anniversary.

"This is so typical," Kendall laughed with a smile remembering a day and a birthday like this years ago, "Pregnancy in this family always comes in massive waves…congratulations Grandpa's." He roared with laughter seeing Weiss, Julian and Vaughn all looking pale and speechless beside each other on the sofa.

"We're having great-grandbabies, Jack," Irina smiled widely at him with awe when they climbed into bed that night, draping herself over his chest and fingering his jaw, "Great grandbabies." She repeated in almost a whisper smiling madly with tears in her eyes.

"We're way too young to be great-grandparents." Jack shook his head in his own stunned awe and she laughed softly, "Where has the time gone to? The years just seemed to have flown by…they're all growing up too fast."

"Well, I for one am thrilled that we're young enough having great-grandchildren that we'll be able to know them…enjoy them." Irina smiled softly folding her arms over his chest to look down at him with a whimsical expression on her face, "Great-grandbabies." She repeated still in awe and laughed at the look on her husband's face. "Great Papa Jack." She whispered against his mouth laughing and kissing him repeatedly.

"Great Papa Jack," Jack whispered with a smile trying it out and then rolling them over so he was looking down at her, "Does this mean we spoil them twice as much as we do our grandchildren as they're their children?" he asked with a laugh.

"Oh yes, I think we must…absolutely no discipline…just _fun fun fun_!" Irina laughed shaking her head with a smile, "We'll let their parents and grandparents be the disciplinarians and we'll be the completely fun ones…"

"Sydney as a grandmother…Julian as a grandfather," Jack thought aloud shaking his head with wide-eyes and a smile. He sighed and kissed her lips, "We'll spoil them rotten." He laughed thinking about his great-grandbabies who should be spoiled rotten by their great-grandparents.

* * *

***Now We Are Free***

September brought the first officially organized, '_Marathon For All Mankind' _with several marathons scheduled all over the world and sponsored by the Imperial Family of Russia to be run at the same time. The spontaneous gesture from the previous year while Lena was in space, had prompted many to rally for a 'real' event and thus the official marathon was born. Teams were established to cover the great distance of 400 miles with money being raised for various charities in each of the host countries with Irina matching whatever was raised from the Romanovs personal funds. The run in Russia was once again set between Moscow and St. Petersburg. This time though, Irina and Lena would be running together side-by-side for the entire duration with Sydney, Julian, Arman, Lara and everyone else in their family taking a turn at running part of the distance with them.

"All right. It's official. I can say it now!" Weiss laughed with a raging smile looking behind them on the road cutting through the middle of the forest. Irina had pulled quite a distance ahead of them with a massive pack of thousands of runners behind her and her family in between. The image was just too much for Weiss to pass up. "_Run Forest! Run!_" He yelled quoting the movie and a wave of laughter flowed through the sea of people behind them having heard the comment echoing through the forest. Irina shook her head laughing and slowed her pace, taking pity on them and waited for her family to catch up, along with all of the other runners behind them.

"What?" Weiss asked as they finally caught up to her. "Are you going to just stop running now and go home to Alabama?" He asked with a giant grin, once again relating her to the movie and the man's famous cross-country run.

"Not quite." Irina smiled her beautiful enchanting smile that had always mesmerized him. "But you have always known, how to put a smile on my face." She winked at him, relating back to the movie and the running scene as well. "Thank you." She grabbed his face before he could react and kissed him on the cheek soundly.

Weiss tripped over himself, stumbling in his gait and everyone else died of laughter to see him falling over himself at being caught off guard that she'd kissed him. He would forever be smitten with Irina, just as he had from the moment he laid eyes on her all those years ago.

It was the most fun any of them had ever had running. Irina's heart was thundering with love to see her family all together, laughing and all smiles, sharing in something that was so much a part of her. Something that she'd once spent years doing as a way to outrun the memories of those she'd loved and lost in her family, now something she was able to do with them. To see her children and grandchildren, all behind her and with such raging smiles of happiness was another dream come true. To be surrounded by those she loved in making memories instead of trying to outrun them.

When they'd come into Moscow, the crowds gathered along the sides of the street roared with encouragement and cheers to see their beloved Tsar running into their city with her family right behind her. Irina had run every single step from St. Petersburg to Moscow, breaking when her family had to sleep and eat but running the entire distance. And now, as she made her way towards the Finish Line in Red Square, the city erupted in celebration to see her streak by. Lena and Lara weren't far behind her and Irina circled back around, coming up beside them.

"Come on. Let's finish this together." She smiled at them both, encouraging them to keep going. To see her running right beside them and the crowd going wild to see the three of them together, gave each another boost of adrenaline. With Irina and Lena on the outside and Lara in the middle, they ran in the same perfect form, matching stride for stride and crossed the Finish Line together with raging smiles and tears of happiness.

* * *

**_*It's Not For Me to Say*_**

_Pasadena, California - November 15th, 2027_

"Good morning Birthday Girl," Arman smiled kissing Lena soundly when her eyes fluttered open.

They were both still exhausted from their wild passionate night before, starting the birthday 'celebration' just after mid-night and going until early into the morning. "Awe…you're so cute in the morning," he kissed her lips again when she smiled and snuggled her face back into her pillow not wanting to get up. "Aren't you hungry?"

Lena didn't answer verbally just nodded with eyes closed and a smile while he continued to brush light kisses over her face, neck and shoulder laughing softly.

"Should I tell your father to start your traditional breakfast waffles," he asked with a smile knowing now after being married to her for a year that her father always insisted upon making his children breakfast on the mornings of their birthdays if they were around, a tradition he'd started long ago when they were little.

Lena nodded again with a smile and her stomach growled in that moment making Arman laughed and her smile widen, "I love you." He whispered kissing her again before getting out of bed. "Sleep for a little bit longer and I'll come get you when they're ready." He whipped back the sheets on his side of the bed, kissing her again and pulling out of bed.

"I love you, too…" she answered with fluttering eyes and a smile making him smile while he pulled on his pajama pants. "Can you asked Daddy to make me banana pancakes…they sound really good to me right now." She asked him with eyes still closed and a groggy voice still fighting off sleep and he froze with eyes widening. Lena hadn't eaten any banana pancakes or bananas that he knew of since Antony died seven years ago.

"You want banana pancakes…" he asked again softly to clarify knowing she was partially asleep and not wanting to make them and then have her horrified by them when she realize what she asked in her sleep.

"Mmmhmm," she nodded into her pillow with eyes still closed and smiled, "They just sound really good…really good." She added in almost a whisper with a contented smile. "I've been craving them for a couple of days…" her voice trailed off as her eyes shot open instantly filling with tears and her chest started to heave with rapid breaths and pounding heart realizing what she just asked for, just said and what she was craving madly right now. "Craving them…" she repeated in a whisper.

"Lena…" Arman looked at her instantly concerned seeing the tears and worried she'd just realized she asked for the one food she hadn't eaten since her birthday years ago with Antony.

"I'm craving bananas…" She turned her tear-filled eyes to him slowly with tears rolling from her eyes when he sat on the bed. Her hand slid down her naked abdomen to just beneath the sheet and she felt it, something most likely no one else would feel but it was her body. Her eyes closed with an inhaled gasp and flooding tears as she cried.

"What?" Arman asked with concern and confusion replaying what she'd just said and then her actions and then, what she had told him years ago when she first spent the night at his apartment and why she didn't eat bananas anymore…she'd craved them when she was pregnant. His eyes filled with instant tears and flashed down to where her hand was resting over her lower abdomen and felt his heart begin to pound. With two fingers under her chin he raised her face to look at him and her eyes opened to meet his own tear filled one, "Do you think you're pregnant?" he asked in a hopeful whisper while filled with excitement and terror all at once.

"I know I am." She answered in the same whisper with a cry and thumb brushing over her skin with the hand protectively covering the life inside her. When he gasped in the same inhale she reached out with a shaking hand and gently took his, bringing it to her stomach and placing it over the baby bump that couldn't be seen with the naked eye but definitely could be felt with hand on her belly noticing the difference in the way her lower abs felt.

His smiled slowly spread across his face with tears dripping from his chin, "We're having a baby…" he said in awe with a surge of love for her in that instant he didn't know was possible looking at her gorgeous naked form sitting up in bed with her hand over his on her belly, knowing their baby was inside there now. "Are you okay?" he suddenly with rapid concern seeing her paling skin and the look in her eyes constantly refilling with tears.

In that instant he realized she might not be as happy as he was considering she had been pregnant before and lost her child, what he saw in her eyes now was not unhappiness upon looking deeper, but fear. "It's going to be okay…."

"I'm scared, Arman…what if-" she was about to ask and couldn't say it, choking off her thought with a cry feeling an overwhelming need to protect the baby inside her from herself with terror running through her thinking about her baby Antony who had lost his tiny life inside her when she was supposed to protect him.

"No," Arman grabbed her, hugging her instantly against him with falling tears and running a soothing hand down her long hair and bare back, "Nothing is going to happen…it wasn't your fault what happened with Antony. It's going to be okay." He whispered against her head with raging tears and couldn't stop the smile from coming back to his lips, "We're having a baby, Lena…" he pulled back cupping her cheeks and looking into her eyes, "We're having a baby…" he repeated in awe and then leaned in to kiss her, both of them crying with emotion and lena tangled her hands into his hair as the kiss deepened.

Her mind was flashing instantly to what Sensai had told her years ago, speaking of a child in her future that had a destiny of its own to live out and now, that child was here…the thought sent another whimpered cried and flood of tears coursing through her suddenly feeling completely different knowing she was carrying a life inside her again, a baby with a tiny heart still beating and she vowed in that instant to everything she could to protect her child.

He pulled back with a smile thumbing away her tears, "I love you…so much."

"I love you…" she smiled with a cry and watched as he slowly lowered his head and kissed her belly where their hands had been and felt his warm tears fall onto her skin. Lena's stomach growled again making them both laugh as they sniffled and he jumped off the bed again, kissing her rapidly again and again.

"Breakfast…you need to eat." He smiled with a new protectiveness of his own and raging smile as he dried his tears, "We're having a baby…" He sighed softly in awe.

"We're having a baby." She repeated in a whisper of disbelief and smile, loving him more in this moment then she ever had before and didn't think possible either. "I love you."

"I love you." He responded coming back from the door to kiss her again.

"Will you ask Mama to come in here please?" Lena asked him cupping the side of his cheek with one hand while he pulled away and saw the fresh tears in her eyes and the fear still hinting in her voice. He knew why she wanted to speak to her mother and he nodded with a soft smile.

"Your Majesty," Arman addressed Irina coming into the kitchen with a smile and unable to call her anything but since meeting her, "Good morning." He smiled to both she and Jack already awake and drinking coffee together in the early morning light, waiting for Lena and Arman to wake up, the only other two staying at the house with everyone else coming over in a couple of hours from their own homes.

"Good morning, Sweetheart," Irina kissed him good morning when he approached. "Is the Birthday Girl awake yet?" she asked with a smile pouring him a glass of juice, knowing that was how he started every morning.

"Yes, she is and asked that I send you upstairs for a minute." He smiled at her and something in his eyes caught Irina's attention.

"Okay," she nodded softly with a bemused smile touching his arm, "You two start breakfast and I'll go find her."

When she was gone from the kitchen, Jack pulled out the waffle maker ready to make breakfast and Arman stopped him with arm touching his wrist lightly, "I think we should wait until Lena comes down…let her tell you what she wants."

Jack looked at his son-in-law with narrowing eyebrows trying to figure out what was going on, "Why?"

"I just think you should wait…" Arman smiled and then quickly diverted his eyes away from the imploring ones of his father-in-law.

**_*Never Grow Old*_**

"Lena," Irina called out knocking softly on the door and heard her daughter tell her to come in. Lena was sitting in the window seat with knees pulled up looking out the window in her pajamas. When she turned her head to look at her mother, Irina instantly saw the tears trailing from her eyes,

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" She asked quickening her step and coming to sit before Lena in the window seat with gentle hand on her daughter's bare knee and arm hugging them to her body.

"I'm terrified, Mama…" Lena answered her in whisper torn between sobbing and crying and clearly expressing those two things to her mother.

"Sweetheart, why…why are you terrified?" Irina asked with heart starting to pound.

Lena took a deep breath wiping at the tears on her face and slowly put her legs down taking her mother's hand in her own and looking into her eyes when she placed their joined hands over her abdomen, "Because I'm pregnant." She spoke just as she saw the flood of tears in understanding wash through her mother's eyes.

"You're pregnant…" Irina asked in a whisper with tears streaming down her face and moving her thumb over Lena's satiny pajamas feeling the tiny baby bump beneath. "You're having a baby." She smiled overwhelmed with emotion knowing how monumental this was and then seeing the fear still flashing in Lena's eyes, "Sweetheart, its going to be okay…it will…don't be scared." She reached up and wiped at Lena's tears cupping her face, "You're having a baby…" She repeated in awe with another smile trying to get Lena to concentrate on the happiness instead of the fear she understood all too well. "When did you find out?"

"I just realized it…" Lena cried softly reaching up to wipe the other cheek stinging with tears, "I'm craving bananas like I haven't been since…" she swallowed hard and Irina nodded softly, "and then I just knew…I felt it…everything clicked into place."

Irina nodded again no doubting at all her daughter was pregnant and knowing about those instincts and the feeling once everything clicked into place. '"Happy Birthday, My Love…' she smiled with more of her own tears thinking about such a wonderful gift not only for Lena to receive on her birthday, but nearly on the day she had lost her first child. She had no doubt their angels above had everything to do with the timing of this baby and felt an instantaneous connection in her own heart. She pulled Lena into her arms, holding her tightly but gently, kissing her head and rocking softly.

Lena's stomach growled again making them both laugh, "I'm really hungry." She smiled with a sniffle when Irina pulled back and cupped her face.

"Well then let's go feed the two of you." Irina smiled pulling Lena out of the window seat with her, stopping to cup her daughter's cheek with one hand and placing her palm over Lena's on her belly and the baby, "Congratulations…I love you…to the moon and back, more than the stars in the heavens and grains of sand on Earth, forever and always, My Heart…I love you." Her voice was thick with emotion and more tears fell from Lena's eyes and her own before they hugged again and kissed.

"I love you too, Mama…" Lena smiled, wiping at her tears and linking fingers with her mother to walk downstairs.

"Happy Birthday, Peanut." Jack smiled hugging her and kissing her head when she walked into the kitchen. "Your husband said we should wait to start breakfast…What is it that you'd like this morning on your special day?" He asked with a smile and Lena and Arman shared a raging tear-filled smile while Jack took note of the tears forming in Lena's eyes.

"Banana pancakes, Daddy." Lena smiled seeing the flash in his eyes as he too knew she why she hadn't eaten them or bananas since the accident and loss of her Antonys. "We're craving them badly."

"We're?" Jack asked with a choked whisper cupping her face and eyes flashing up to Irina who was nodding softly with tears running from her eyes and then back to Lena's tear filled smile.

"Yes, we…I'm pregnant." She answered him in a whisper with a soft smile and heard his soft gasp with flushing tears staring into her eyes and ever so slowly pulling her into his arms to hug and rock back and forth slowly, overwhelmed with his own emotions knowing why this baby and pregnancy was so incredibly special.

"You're having a baby." He gasped with a smile over her shoulder with eyes flashing back to Irina standing behind Lena who had her arms folded over her chest with one arm up and hand in front of her mouth overwhelmed with her own emotion at the news. "Congratulations, Sweetheart…I love you so much."

"I love you too, Daddy." Lena answered with a smile over his shoulder at Arman holding her father more tightly and feeling a bit better in sharing with her parents who always knew how to ease her fears to a degree.

"Congratulations." Irina enveloped Arman into her arms with a big hug and a kiss, crying with him over smiles and then stepped aside so Jack could shake his hand and then, hugged him to both of their surprise having only hugged him one other time at the wedding.

They couldn't wait until after breakfast for the confirmation and so, while the 'boys' made banana pancakes for breakfast, mother and daughter ran down the street to pick up a pregnancy test and all four of them waited with baited breath for the results. Arman and Jack sitting downstairs at the table in the kitchen watching the second hand on the clock make its torturously slow rounds as Lena and Irina took the test and waited upstairs.

"Will you look please?" Lena asked her mother when the required minutes had passed, squeezing her hand as they sat on the end of the bed with tears already falling. Her mother had been the one to tell both of her sisters they were having babies and she wanted to keep that tradition that had been started.

Irina kissed her on the mouth with a quick peck and stood, taking a deep breath before picking up the stick in her bathroom and flooding into an instant raging smile and tears. "Congratulations, Sweetheart…you are having a baby." She knelt before her, kissing her repeatedly while holding her in her arms and both cried with the overwhelming emotion flooding through them again.

They walked hand in hand again down the hall and when they looked over the balcony railing saw Jack and Arman had moved to stand in the doorway of the kitchen, too impatient with nervous excitement to wait and both clearly holding their breath.

"We're having a baby." Lena spoke to Arman with eyes held fast smiling with tears from the top of the stairs and heard his sharp inhale of relief with raging smile as he immediately started running towards her and she him, meeting her at the bottom of the stairs and picking her up twirling her in a circle holding her tightly with both smiling, laughing and crying in joy.

Jack and Irina's eyes held with their own tears and raging smiles after watching the reactions and both knowing that this baby was definitely a gift from above and already bringing joy into the world before it was even born.

The joint party for Lena's birthday and Lil' Dmi's began that afternoon with great food and gift opening. While the cake was being served glasses of champagne were being passed around and up until that point, no one knew of the Lena and Arman's news.

Lena took the flute of the clear bubbly without thinking about it and had it to her lips when she heard her mother whisper shout her name and give her a look, seeing her daughter was still on cloud nine and not thinking about what she was about to consume. She spit the contents back in the glass rapidly only drawing more attention to herself as the others in the room stopped what they were doing to watch with a curious gaze.

"Why did you just spit that out?" Sydney asked with a hopeful smile, everyone suspecting they knew the why but also too frightened to ask her if she was pregnant in case she wasn't because of her former loss at this time years ago. Anya, Ria and Mia were already not drinking for the pregnancy reason.

"I forgot…I can't drink anymore…I'm pregnant." Lena answered her sister with a soft smile and speaking quietly and mouths fell open with gasps of happiness and astonishment with instant flooding tears before Sydney lunged at her hugging her dearly and then Nadia and Katya and everyone else closed in on them.

"How long have you known?" Nadia cried with sheer joy for her sister hand already on her still flat belly with the tiny bump covering the space where her new niece or nephew resided.

"We just found out this morning…" Lena smiled wiping at her tears and linking fingers with Arman standing beside her.

"What a fabulous birthday gift. Congratulations, Sweetheart." Katya cupped her face and then kissed both cheeks and lips with tears streaming from her eyes.

They all felt the instant connection and protectiveness over the baby Lena was carrying; all babies they knew were special but because of the tragic past, this one was even more, a second chance just like Lena had been, a chance to start over and a promise for the future…a baby that would bind them all together once again.

* * *

**_*Believe*_**

_December 15th, 2027_

Right on time, and on her Babushka and sister Lara's birthdays, Anya gave birth to her twins having gone into labor as Sydney once had with Lara, in the middle of their tree decorating party.

Iribella Francesca Maria and Maxim Andre Mikhail were born to elated parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. Iribella's name was named for her great-grandmothers, Irina and Bella and combined her name meant 'peaceful beauty' her middle name, Francesca was named after Francie for Anya knew how much the woman had meant to her mother and Maria for her great-great aunt Maria Romanova, her great-great grandmother Anastasia's sister. Maxim's name meant 'greatest' and was named after his father, Rurik's, middle name. Andre was for his grandfather Michael's middle name and Mikhail after his great-grandfather.

Everyone around the world was thrilled when the first photos of the third generation of Romanovs born in the Imperial Family were finally published showing off their cuteness and astounding beauty. The picture of Irina with her arms wrapped around Sydney, whose arms were wrapped around Anya's who had her arms gently wrapped under her sleeping baby girl Iribella showing the strong chain of Romanov women spanning four generations quickly became one of Jack's favorites, making it known to everyone he was upset with his pouting he didn't get a copy until he opened a massive framed one on Christmas to hang in his own den and then he was quite happy. The twins were both baptized on Christmas Eve during the annual church service with Godparents being named as Lena and Arman, Nicholas and Isabella, Mitchell and Mia.

"It's so hard for me to believe at times that my daughter is a grandmother now," Irina smiled over at Sydney while she was cradling Iribella in the sleigh on the way home with Anya sitting beside Sydney holding Maxim with a raging smile. "I look at them and see you…can still feel your tiny weight in my arms and the way you smelled…the tiny noises you made that were uniquely your own…its all so fresh in my mind and now, your own baby has babies." She smiled with tears in here eyes at never believing she'd ever even get to see Sydney's children, years ago, and now, she was seeing Sydney's grandchildren…her own great-grandchildren. "Its more amazing then you could ever imagine to see your children's children and their children." She smiled from Sydney to Anya and then the babies. "Another dream of mine come true." Irina whispered to them with voice full of emotion while Jack smiled at her squeezing her hand under the warm blanket all with tears in their eyes.

"Mama, will you please play something?" Nadia smiled holding her new great-nephew and trading him off for her own daughter while exchanging children with Anya who had been holding Elektra. Everyone was gathered in the living room before bed drinking hot chocolate and snuggled together as families and couples before the fire, laughing and enjoying each other and the happiness this year had brought to them all and looking forward to more in the next with the birth of three more babies in their family as well as several important anniversaries.

"What should I play?" Irina smiled sitting on the piano bench and helping Dmi into her lap as he loved to sit on his Babushka's lap while she played the piano.

"You choose…you always know exactly what to play." Nadia smiled with Elektra wrapping her arms around her mother's neck and resting her forehead in Nadia's temple while Nikolas pulled them both into his side.

Irina looked around at all their smiling faces for a moment and looked at her newly born great-grandbabies asleep in their parents arms and to Mia and Ria both glowing and very pregnant and then to Lena who took a seat beside her as she always had since she was little on the bench beside her, her hand automatically going over her own belly with a warm smile at her mother having always enjoyed this Christmas tradition of theirs and Irina knew exactly what to play.

"I know what to play…for all my babies." Irina smiled at them all with a sweeping glance and her fingers began to dance over the keys delicately with Dmi sitting perfectly still in her lap between her arms in a trance watching her hands move.

**_*Away in a Manger*_**

They weren't sure at first what it was knowing that she made up her own variations of songs but it was beautiful from the first note and they all felt the same as Dmi, in a trance every time she played.

A family that had been three years ago became four and then five and then seven and eight and had grown exponentially with all the marriages, babies and friends and now, the living room was packed with 'family.' The moment they all recognized the first chorus line of 'Away in a Manger' they all understood why she had dedicated to all her 'babies' and why she had chosen it now and they couldn't help the invading tears with everyone casually looking around the room at the others and to the newborn babies asleep in their parents arms and the glowing mother's to be.

Dmitri was sitting beside Jack on the sofa and smiled over at him after watching Irina playing for a few moments with an approving nod and smile that 'all of this' meaning the people in the room who filled it with love, wouldn't have been possible without him…Irina's large and happy family wouldn't have existed without Jack and that they'd done this together, all starting with the two of them and their love for each other.

Dmitri was ninety-five, the same as Alexei and both were in excellent health and elated that they had both witnessed Irina becoming a great-grandmother and in turn, great-great grandfather's themselves with the birth of Iribella and Maxim whom Alexei had delivered.

The man had retired from general practice years ago but still tended to Irina as her main physician and said he would until he was no longer able and laughed that wouldn't be until he was dead and of course, had to deliver her great-grandchildren having delivered her, her children and her grandchildren, he had to deliver the fourth generation as well and was extremely proud to do so. He planned on delivering Mia's, Ria's and Lena's babies just the same and continuing with the tradition of bringing the Romanovs into the world.

Jack knew what he was smiling and nodding about having had the same thought as he looked around at all his children, their children and his great-grandchildren as well as nieces, nephews, and extended family and smiling with teary eyes as they flashed back to his wife and shook his head with loving awe that it all started with he and Irina…this family was their legacy and it only continued to grow. The people in this room were all that mattered as pieces of their heart and when together and whole, beat mighty and strong and the love for each other radiated in their smiles and hugs.

Looking over at Lena now, sitting beside her mother and seeing her in a white sweater and looking exactly like her mother from years ago, Jack couldn't help but flash back to the Christmas that he'd found Irina with Lena strapped to her chest and playing her lullabies at the same piano. The first night they truly laid their past behind them and took the true steps forward into their future they were now living out. He could never have imagined that night, walking in and watching them so peaceful with each other at the piano, their baby so tiny and new sleeping against Irina that all these years later 'this' before him now, was possible.

It was breathtaking to him and he couldn't stop the tears building in his eyes in seeing the mass of happiness and love before him that all really seemed to stem from Irina, almost symbolically as they were all surrounding her now, she was all their connection, all their center and the large loving heart that bound them all together in one way or another.

* * *

_Los Angeles, California_

Ria and Ryan's film '_Closer_' which had sparked their connection leading to their marriage and the impending arrival of their baby opened on Christmas day and it was extremely clear, from the first moments of their first onscreen love scene 'why' the spark between these two exploded into an inferno during the filming of this movie with the sheer hotness that almost melted the screen.

Naked flesh and rough, wild sex tore across the screen that had her family's eyes wide, mouths dry and a proud grin on Katya's face that Irina's granddaughter was definitely carrying on her Babushka's torch in the 'wild kingdom department' with men shifting all over in the theatre in their seats.

Julian had ceased to breathe, completely unprepared in seeing his baby girl on the screen in all her naked glory even though she had warned him. In a twist of irony, Ria was playing the character of a female spy who had needed to get 'close' to her target and ended up getting 'too close.' She had drawn inspiration for her role from her Babushka's life and spent a great deal of time with Irina talking wanting to get her most serious role to date, and one closest to her heart, right. The end of the film, however, was horrifyingly different showing them all the way 'it could have ended with Irina in reality' in their minds, when Ria's character was actually found out and assassinated, dying for the one she loved, Ryan's character by taking the bullet meant for him when the agency she worked for set out to kill him.

February of 2028 began the re-release of the '_Absolution_' film series beginning with film 'Part: One' and new premieres spread over five months to mark the occasion in celebrating the 25th anniversary of the 'Greatest Film Series Ever Made.'

For many, including their youngest children and grandchildren, seeing the first film on the widescreen through 'adult' eyes was extremely powerful and moving to see what their parents and grandparents had gone through, especially now being parents themselves and some expecting to see what Irina had gone through in Kashmir with the loss of Jack that hit them with the force of ten tidal waves unable to stand watching as they kicked the life out of her and then threw him in the incinerator making her watch and all that she went through.

Lena was sitting beside Irina now instead of draped over her father's chest as she had when the films were first released and her responses, the raging tears and the instinctive covering of her baby within, nervously making circles over her teeny tiny belly seemed to mark the passage of time more then anything else in the span of how long it had been from then until now.

Now, she related to what her mother had gone through even more having never watched the films after she lost Antony and the baby and seeing them now, for the first time in years since sharing this experience had her gripping Irina's hand furiously during those heart wrenching scenes. Nadia was going through the same thing in witnessing the devastation being slammed down on her mother time and again and thought back to their conversations after her own ordeal and what her mother had said about what happened to her. Her mother's thoughts from then sweeping through her head with the images before her and narration now left her weeping silently while inhaling her sobs and clinging tightly to Nikolas' hand on one side and her father's on the other.

All of them were associating what they had seen in the films to what they had just seen in Ria's film and none of them could stop their minds from thinking about how differently it all could have ended after that first film if the 'real life' situation had taken that horrifying turn that Ria's film had in the end and knowing that none of them, would be sitting there now watching it onscreen if it had as most of them wouldn't exist.

* * *

**_*You've Got the Love*_**

The night of the first re-release premiere of '_Absolution,'_ also brought Jack and Irina's 25th Wedding Anniversary since they had remarried and a fabulous party with friends and family after seeing the film to celebrate the wonderful celebration.

"Is there anything you'd like to say about marrying this man first fifty-four years ago and then twenty-five years ago?" Ben asked Irina quietly with a smile when he was standing before everyone have just made a toast and talking about both times he'd witnessed Jack and Irina getting married.

Irina stood with adoring eyes staring down at Jack beside her and tears already streaming from her eyes as she began quietly, "Before my orders were issued from the KGB… I met and fallen in love with Jack …if I had never joined… never moved to America to receive my assignment," her voiced cracked slightly with the emotion she was feeling in thinking about all they'd been through and where it all began, "Then I also would have never met Jonathan…" she smiled softly at him when he reached up to take her hand and ran circles over the back of it nervously with her, "And because of that…I can never regret what led me to him…My name was a lie…but never my love." She finished with a smile and slight sob that only he could hear when he stood and cupped her face kissing her gently while everyone applauded loudly and some like their sons, Weiss and his' and others whistled though all had tears in their eyes to 'see' this great love before them even now, all these years later and having felt it that much more after just seeing the beginning in the first film again and how it all began. "I love you, Jonathan…" She whispered against his lips and he kissed her again softly.

"Jack…" Ben smiled at them softly when their kiss had finished but were staring only into each others eyes while Jack used his thumb to wipe away her tears softly, "Would you like to say something about your wife?"

Jack kissed her again quickly with a smile and another cat call rang out from Weiss making them and everyone smile when he stepped up to say something, "My only regret…was that I knew her heart," he had her hand clasped in his and pressed the back of his hand and knuckles joined with hers against her chest and beating heart, thundering with emotion and love for him while staring into her eyes, "But not her name."

He smiled feeling his own tears falling and Irina reached up to wipe them from his cheeks while he continued, "Sydney and I were talking about relationships years ago and how you know that someone is the 'one' for you. I told her that I knew her mother was the one for me because from the first day we met, regardless of her name…she's been the first person I think about when I wake up and the last before I sleep…even during her twenty-one-year absence. Whenever we're apart, every minute feels like I'm holding my breath and I can't stop thinking about the next time I get to see her. She knows me better than I know myself and every time I see her smile, I fall that much more in love with her. Irina is my equal in every way and what I lack in myself, I find in her…she completes me." He finished softly watching the endless tears of love form in her eyes, "And the truth is, I'd do it all over again…the good, the bad, the ugly, painful and beautiful…because of this moment, and you by my side…" He was speaking to her and only her and everyone in the room got that immediate sense the rest of them had vanished in this moment with the look between them. "I love you, Irina…forever and always…you are my soul-mate, my heart, my life and my love…I love you." He whispered and closed the remaining distance with a sweet kiss that had everyone with tears streaming down their cheeks and a moment of silence before loud thundering applause followed and a mass standing ovation by those who knew and loved them best.

Mid-applause and whistle, Mia felt the sudden sharp twinge and rush of liquid with her water-breaking and grabbed frantically at Ilia's hand with wide-eyes realizing what was happening.

"Mama!" she squealed to Sophia who was standing just to the left and in front of her, "I think I'm in labor!" she cried again when Sophia wheeled around and took note of the puddle her daughter was standing in as well as the wet spot on the front of Mia's gorgeous navy blue dress.

"Well, since its highly unlikely you just peed yourself, I'd say, yes, you are in labor." Sophia smiled taking her hand with more tears falling and everyone switched gears into organizational mode having had practice with this after Anya's water-breaking party interruption just a couple of months ago.

"Oh god," Weiss suddenly paled considerably realizing this was it, he was about to become a grandfather and that thought made him almost as nervous as when he was about to become a father, especially since it was his little girl now cringing in pain with contractions and tears in her eyes of fear.

Lena was sitting in the sofa beside Irina in the Waiting Room when she suddenly gasped with hand flying to her belly and tears immediately in her eyes.

"Sweetheart, what is it?" Irina asked immediately concerned with her own hand going to Lena's little belly and the baby beneath with heart pounding in her own chest and then she felt it, the rapid kicking against her palm and gasped with a raging smile and tears. She knew it was the first time Lena had felt it as well and their dark eyes locked with joined hands over the tiny but hard kicking beneath.

"Lena, what's wrong?" Arman knelt quickly by her side and snapped her out of her daze to meet his eyes with a smile.

"Nothing…feel." She smiled moving his hand over to her belly watching his face pale and then brighten when he felt the first kicks of his unborn baby.

"Wow…he's got quite the powerful kick…strong legs." He smiled and laughed waiting for the retort from Irina he knew was coming.

"Considering that both of her parents are runners, I'd expect nothing less." Irina smiled at him with a wink as the two bantered back and forth playfully about the sex of the baby since they'd discovered Lena was pregnant with them having decided not to find out the sex of the baby as well, wanting it to be a surprise with Arman insisting it was a boy and Irina that it was a girl.

"I thought Lena's foot was going to come through my skin at times she packed such a punch behind those tiny but ferocious kicks of hers." Irina smiled leaning over to kiss her daughter and then bent over to kiss her belly sending love to the baby beneath. "This is only just the beginning…" she laughed softly with hand smoothing over the round curve of Lena's belly and dark eyes meeting her daughters with happy tears.

Just before midnight, Alix Anastasia Ekaterina was born, named after her great-great grandmother, her great-grandmother and her grandmother in that order. Katya and Marcelo now belonged to the great-grandparents club with Jack and Irina and Bella and Marcelo and were thrilled with their new tiny great granddaughter. Mia and Ilia had decided not to find out the sex of the baby before hand, letting it be a surprise and everyone took great fun going back and forth as to what they thought she was having with only Irina never waiver-ing in her belief that the baby was a girl from the moment they first all heard on Ria and Jack's birthday that she was expecting. Ria and Ryan also opted not to find out the sex of their baby and now everyone was eagerly anticipating their baby's arrival who was due in just a couple of weeks and left everyone wondering if Irina would be right on her speculation they were having a boy having been right with Alix being a girl.

* * *

**_*Nara*_**

The birth of her upcoming baby was not the only exciting day for Ria at the beginning of March as she was nominated for the first time for an _Academy Award_ for an _Actress in a Leading Role_ for her performance in '_Closer_.' The night was especially moving to all in the family with not only Ria's nomination but the fact that '_Absolution_' was being honored again with an _Honorary Academy Award_ for their 25th Year Anniversary and still holding strong as the largest box office film and most successful film in the history of cinema with no one ever coming close after for nominations in any Academy Awards. They were presenting the 'Lifetime Achievement' award to Irina for her own spectacular lifetime achievements and the way her life and the films about it, changed film forever.

When it was Ria who came onstage, with no one but Ryan knowing she would be the one presenting the honor to her grandmother, her family gasped in tears with smiles to see her beautiful pregnant-self on stage with the massive film screens behind her showing various clips from all four films and tears in her eyes overwhelmed with her own sense of honor and humbled to be speaking of not just any 'actors' life but that of her grandmother and family.

Before the end of her speech in summarizing the films, their meaning and the brilliance behind them with a story about people who literally changed the world and how human beings related to each other, everyone was crying silently and hearing the clips of audio from memorable scenes over the song they all knew well and evoked so much emotion left them sobbing by its end. When Irina was finally called up on stage she immediately grabbed Ria and the two held each other crying for minutes while people stood and applauded so moved by the remembrance of what it was like to first heart the story, first see the films and then how it changed their lives and the world as Ria said and then to see the two embracing on stage.

Irina's speech in turn immediately thanked Ria and spoke of her pride in her and all of her grandchildren, calling them all out individually, then speaking of her children and the lives they had lead thus far, the experiences they had gone through and some she wished they hadn't that were too much like her own and had everyone in tears again when she spoke of their strength in overcoming those experiences and her love for them now that was all consuming. She spoke of her beloved new great-grandbabies and the next one about to be born to Ria who was standing very pregnant on the stage beside her holding her hand and then about her sister, Katya, their relationship and family, her mother and father and her about the two 'men' who had been her fathers for the majority of her life, Dmitri and Alexei.

She spoke of the relationships that had started as enemies and grew into the best of friendships- extended family whom she loved dearly and brought tears to Kendall's eyes as he got choked up when she singled him out and then lastly, she called out Jack and brought everyone back to sobs and smiles with her speech about her life with him through the years and what he meant to her and that she only loved him more with every breath and beat of her heart and that her 'Lifetime Achievement' was his as well for they suffered, survived and thrived together every step of the way.

When it came time to announce the winner of the Actress in a Leading Role category, they all gasped again in surprise when it was Irina who walked out onto the stage and read the list of nominees. Ria was the last name on the list and they all watched the rapid clips of her stellar performance before Irina opened the envelope to reveal the winner.

"And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role goes to…" Irina smiled with tears immediately flooding her eyes and tears raging down her face in an instant, "My granddaughter Ria Alix Nikolaevena Romanova for '_Closer_." She read excitedly while everyone else screamed and cheered and Ria burst into tears hugging and kissing Ryan and then her mother before making her way to the stage and into the arms of her grandmother Irina crying while she cupped her face and kissed her cheeks to the thunderous applause of everyone while she accepted it and then gave her speech. She thanked her family and friends, the film crew and director, the casting director for casting Ryan as her co-star and changing her life which brought laughter from everyone and then thanked her mother, whose footsteps she followed into and her father, Julian, who always supported her in her career and _especially in making this film even though she was certain he almost went into cardiac arrest in seeing it_, which brought more laughter and then in thanking her beloved Papa Jack and Babushka Irina whose love story, the greatest she'd ever known, enabled her to draw from their experiences and more importantly their love, in order to give the performance she had in the film for which she was receiving her award.

That night after the ceremony, Ria went into labor two weeks early from all the excitement and gave birth to her son, Rhett Julian Rai. His name, Rhett, meant 'enthusiasm,' which they all found appropriate and somewhat humorous considering, he was born because of so much 'enthusiasm' on the night he arrived.

* * *

**_*My Heart Will Go On*_**

_St. Petersburg, Russia- Alexander Palace - March 2028_

"Sweetheart, what are you doing up?" Irina asked Lena walking around the end of the sofa in the middle of the night to sit beside her daughter who was watching 'Titanic' and by the looks of it seeing the end, had been for at least three hours. She hadn't slept very well herself, tossing and turning about and finally gave up with an instinct to come downstairs and there, she found Lena.

"I can't sleep," Lena smiled with an exhausted expression with tears in her eyes and some still lingering on her cheeks from watching the film an the memories and feelings it brought up, "This baby seems to think that night time is party-time…my little Moonbeam is tossing and turning so much there is no hope of sleeping...I got up because I didn't want to keep Arman up with me…" Her husband had a trip to make on naval business in Minsk in the morning, "He needs to sleep."

"And so do you." Irina smiled softly cupping Lena's face and wiping the tears away.

"I've tried everything, Mama…this baby is up for all night...quite strong willed and stubborn." Lena yawned rubbing her other eye and the tears in it away while her other hand dropped back over her ever-growing belly.

"You rock her to sleep with all your moving around all day and thus, when you are lying still at night, she wakes up and wants to play…you were the same." Irina smiled placing her palm over Lena's belly and the baby moving rapidly within. She bent her body over on the sofa so her face was lying gently on Lena's belly with cheek pressed against her bare skin and both hands palming the sides with thumbs stroking back and forth in a soothing manner. "Okay, My Heart," she started speaking to the baby with a smile and a stern quality to her voice that made Lena smile looking down at her mother's head on her belly speaking to her belly and the wild stubborn baby within. "You must go to sleep to now…no more tossing and turning. You must settle down."

Lena couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped hearing her mother ordering the baby to settle down and then gasped softly when the wild movements slowed considerably with the sound of her mother's voice and then her humming of the Russian Lullaby against her stomach. The baby was actually listening to her mother and calming with her voice leaving Lena to smile with tears in her eyes as she listened and watched, felt the little life inside her settling down with the same soothing tone and voice that used to and still did, lull her to sleep.

Irina continued to hum to the baby until the movement beneath her hands and cheek had stopped for quite some time and then turned her head, planting a lingering kiss to Lena's belly gently and then sitting up to smile at her daughter.

"I just don't know what to say here…but somehow it just makes sense my stubborn child that hasn't even been born yet listens to you about bedtime and not me," Lena smiled with tears in her eyes and Irina grabbed her hand, squeezing it with her own smile, "I'll be calling on you in three years when the little Wild Bug is jumping on the bed, laughing and refusing to sleep." She laughed softly at the image in her head.

"Okay," Irina smiled with the same soft laugh, "Whatever you need, I'll always be here for you." She smiled again and leaned over kissing her daughter's too-cute belly again. "And you…" she added with a smile speaking to the baby now lulled to sleep inside Lena and then pulled her daughter into her arms, Lena's head pressed against her chest with ear over her heart in the standard position making Irina smile when she felt her dig her face into her skin the same way she had since she was a baby. "Though, I don't think you'll have too many nights with her resisting bed…she's going to be a Snuggle Bug, just like you…your biggest problem might be getting her to sleep without you, as she'll love the sound of your heart and falling asleep to the sound of it beating just as much as you love to listen to mine."

"My own little security blanket." Lena smiled with tired eyes closed lying against her mother's chest hearing the familiar thudding beneath her ear and letting it lull her to sleep as it had thousands of times before. "What makes you so certain my little Moonbeam is a girl?" She asked after a moment with a smile thinking about the conviction in her mother's voice whenever speaking of or to the baby and always addressing her as 'she.'

"She is a piece of my heart," Irina smiled rubbing her hand up and down Lena's back softly while rocking slightly knowing her daughter was exhausted, "I recognized her instantly…just like you." She dropped a kiss to her daughter's head. "What are your feelings and instincts telling you about this baby?" she asked with a soft smile and voice gradually getting softer.

"Since I first realized I was pregnant…that it was a girl." Lena answered without opening her eyes and speaking quietly as the tiredness took over. "I know in my heart it's a girl."

"That's because your heart recognizes her as a piece of your own…" Irina smiled pulling Lena back softly to cup her cheek and stare into her tired dark eyes, "You My Heart, need to get to bed…come on." She smiled kissing Lena and then helping her off the couch and walking up to bed with her.

"Mama," Lena leaned against Irina's shoulder as they ascended up the grand staircase, "I love you to the moon and back…" she smiled looking out the massive windows to the glittering moon.

"More than the stars in the heavens," Irina responded with the same smile staring out the window as they turned the corner on the landing.

"And grains of sand on Earth…" Lena smiled with another yawn.

"Forever and always, Snuggle Bug." Irina kissed her head and then both cheeks before letting go when they stood before her own bedroom door. "Forever and always." She repeated and gave a small wave before disappearing behind the door in the darkness.


	74. Chapter 74

_**AN: You really want to listen to the music for this one. You do. You really do. You just don't know it yet. You'll be so happy you did. It's as important to this story as anything else. Quite telling.**_

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): **_**_Young Blood_ by Birdy, _What You Wanted_ by OneRepublic, _Myth, Power and Beauty_ by Nick Glennie-Smith, _Home_ by Philip Phillips, _PM's Love Theme_ by Craig Armstrong, _Time_ by Hans Zimmer, _Balcony Scene_ by Craig Armstrong from Romeo & Juliet Score Soundtrack, _The End_ by Hans Zimmer from The Rise of the Dark Knight Soundtrack, _Deliver Me_ by Sarah Brightman, _Moonlight Sonata_ by Beethoven, _Theme from The Notebook Main Title by Aaron Zigman_ , _Kissing You_ (instrumental) by Desiree from Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack, ****_You Raise Me Up_ by Josh Groban, _Goodbyes_ by Celine Dion, _Walkaway_ by Thomas Newman, _Tania_ by James Horner, _Gymnopedie No. 3_ by Erik Satie, _Love Theme #2 From Romeo & Juliet_ by Andre Rieu & (Nino Rota), _Twilight and Mist_ by, _Glasgow Love Theme_ by Craig Armstrong, Nessun Dorma (Instrumental) by Mantovani , _PM's Love Theme_ by Craig Armstrong, _Honor Him_ by Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard, _Lord's Prayer_ -Russian Orthodox Music by Tallis Scholars, _I Will Come Back_ by Hans Zimmer, _I Grieve_ by Peter Gabriel, _Prayer_ by Celine Dion**

* * *

_SEVENTY-FOUR_

_o_

**_*Young Blood*_**

"I think its time to make some changes." Irina spoke quietly to Jack slipping into bed at night the first week in May and exhausted from getting ready for the 25th year of Imperial Rule Celebration Jubilee that was going to be massive in scale.

"What kind of changes?" Jack asked wrapping his arm around her when she snuggled against and over his body as she had always done.

"I think that are children are ready…and now is a good time to start handing things over to them." She spoke quietly while staring at the family portrait of them on the wall across the bedroom while Jack's eyes widened and heart began to pound.

"What do you mean, you think they're ready to hand things over to?" He asked with the same quiet voice while swallowing the massive dry lump suddenly in his throat knowing exactly what she meant.

"I mean…that Lena is ready, Jack. And I think now would be a good time for the future of Russia to have a new ruler leading the way…a fresh pair of eyes and heart to circumnavigate the ever changing world." She drew circles on his chest with her fingertip in a pattern Jack had long ago memorized almost tattooed into his skin. "And if we start the transition now we'll have years to guide her through it and stand by her side if she needs guidance or help until she's fully confident of doing it completely on her own."

"You've really thought about this." Jack ran his hand over the back of her hair with a fear pounding through him he didn't know would exist at the thought of Lena taking over. "Do you really think she's ready?"

"I do…I can't deny that fate has been working out the way it has for a reason, Jack…and that our children have lived the lives they have thus far for a purpose. As much as I hate it, all that she's gone through has advanced Lena years beyond her age in maturity. She's become ready a lot sooner then I ever would have expected when she was first named the Tsarevicha, but she was made so for a reason. I have to believe that. I have to believe there was a reason for all of this happening like it has, Jack." She turned her head against him so she could look him in the eyes. "My heart is saying this is what I'm supposed to do. I feel it more so everyday, that this is the way it needs to be…Lena is supposed to take over now, I just feel it."

"You've been following your heart for the last twenty-five years…don't stop now…its never wrong." He answered her after a moment of staring into her mesmerizing brown depths. "Have you spoken with Lena about this?"

"No, not yet. I wanted to speak with you first…my other half." She smiled at him and kissed his lips softly.

"When were you thinking of having her take over? Surely not this year with all the added stress of becoming a new mother?" He reached up fingering her hair behind her ear feeling her heart thudding against his chest and answering back to his own thudding call.

"No, not this year," Irina smiled with a sigh, "I was thinking next year…give her time with the baby and adjusting to motherhood as well as going through a transitional year with me before she takes the reins." Her eyes filled with tears just thinking about it with pride in her daughter knowing she could do it.

"And then after she takes the reins? What does that mean for you? For us?" He smiled softly reaching up to wipe the stray tear falling from her eye.

"It means that we finally get to live on an extended vacation with each other…just you and me…our time… for the first time… in a long time…" Irina kissed him again feeling more tears falling.

"Mmmmm, I like this idea. Though I assume you'll still be On-Call with our daughter during this time period, at least for the next couple of years?" He asked with a teasing smile remembering what she'd said earlier.

"Yes, on-call." Irina laughed softly at his choice of wording, "But I have complete confidence in her abilities to do well without my help. I've taught her all that I can and she has to rule and run by what is right for her and her heart. She can only do that by looking inside herself which is where I'll direct her if she comes to me with questions as I've always done." She smiled.

"In your sly Mama way." Jack laughed softly at his wife's ability to make people find their own answers by pointing them in the right path and them not even realizing it until after.

Irina shrugged softly with a smile and was about to speak again when they heard a recognizable faint knocking on their door and told her to come in, wondering about her timing though not about why she was at their door.

"Is she keeping you up again?" Irina smiled at Lena seeing her hand run over her belly looking as though she'd been tossing and turning for at least a couple of hours.

"Yes, Mama, please make her stop. I swear it feels like she's running a marathon inside me, her legs just won't quit." Lena whined softly with her cute almost pout from exhaustion having gone through this almost nightly now since the first time in March when Irina calmed the baby down. "You're the only one she listens to." She added with another small whine and large yawn while Jack and Irina both chuckled and waved her over as they always did.

"I don't think I'm the only one she listens to." Irina smiled kissing her daughter as she sat on the edge of the bed and Irina sat up, "Maybe the better question is, are you listening to her and what she's saying?" She laughed softly and then more loudly seeing the immediate slant of annoyance on Lena's tired face.

"I can't keep up with her…remind you of anyone, Daddy?" She flashed her eyes from her mother to her father and Jack laughed out loud at the deviant defiant look on his daughter's face and hearing it in her exhausted tone. "She's stubborn…who she got that from is anyone's guess." Lena continued only making both her parents laugh remembering the same comment being made about Sydney in regards to her mother.

"Please Mama, just calm her down. I have to be up early for that joint meeting with RASA and NASA in the morning. Please make her settle down." She begged with her pout lip and dark eyes with exaggerated batting of her eyelashes making both her parents snicker reminding them of her doing the same thing when she was three and wanted something using her charms trying to get it. "And get her away from my kidney," Lena hissed softly holding her side, "As she seems to have decided it's really fun to kick me there."

"Okay, My Littlest Heart, what has you so wound up tonight?" Irina smiled laying her cheek on Lena's belly with hands planted on the sides again and tapping softly knowing the baby would kick back where she tapped and slowly drew the tiny relentlessly pounding feet away from Lena's kidney and side. "Perhaps its because she knows that your father and I were just talking about you…and that I think, you're ready." Irina quietly slipped into the conversation with her cheek lying softly against Lena's belly and unable to see her reaction though she could tell from the silence of no response that Lena must be sitting with eyes wide and mouth slightly open in surprise.

"Ready for what?" Lena asked with a thick voice and a tremble passing through her making the baby kick hard again in rapid series of flying legs.

"I think you're ready to take over. To become the Tsar." Irina pulled back smiling and speaking softly with her hand still caressing Lena's belly and calming the baby with just the tone of her voice in the way she was speaking with Lena. "Not right now, of course, with the baby's impending arrival but…next year."

"You can't be serious." Lena laughed shaking her head, stopping when she saw in her mother's eyes, she was serious. "You are serious…" Lena asked with eyes flashing back and forth between her parents and felt the baby stir wildly inside her again with her heart pounding in her chest and echoing through her body. "Mama, I'm not ready to take over…I don't think I'll ever be ready to take over!"

"Yes, you are. I believe in you." Irina smiled cupping the side of Lena's face with one hand and tears in her eyes, "You having nothing to be afraid of. We'll use this next year as a transition year and then after you take over I'll still be right by your side, always. Just in case you need me." She smiled with tears of pride in her eyes. "You're not going to be alone, I promise. I'll help you through it. Sweetheart, you can do this, you're ready."

"Mama…" Lena gasped with tears flooding down her cheeks looking down nervously shaking her head and the baby once again turning wildly inside her under the emotion, stress and pounding heart from anxiety.

"Lena," Irina grasped her chin gently forcing her to look at her in the eyes, "Sweetheart, I think you're ready. I believe it in my heart that it's time…but if you're absolutely sure you don't want to now, I won't make you. I won't push you into something you're not ready for. You don't have to make any decisions tonight. You have time to think about it and talk it over with Arman." She smiled and then her brow knitted rapidly into concern seeing Lena grit her teeth and blow out a breath through pursed lips frantically rubbing her stomach at the baby's rapid kicking and muscles cramps that Irina felt beneath her hands. "Take a deep breath, My Little Love. Slowly, she's upset when you're upset so if you calm down she will, too."

Irina squeezed Lena's fingers in support breathing in and out slowly with her and feeling the baby start to calm down more.

"She feels your pounding heart and so hers' pounds, too." Irina lay back in the bed pulling Lena down with her and adjusting her daughter so that her head was on her chest listening to her heart as she had always done to calm down, and with her pregnant belly pushed into her side, Irina placed the free hand not soothing Lena by brushing over her head to brush over her belly and the baby calming her as well. "Concentrate on my heart beat."

Lena closed her exhausted eyes concentrating on the beat of her mother's heart beneath her ear and her breathing calmed becoming in tune with Irina's and then after a few minutes their hearts were in sync and the baby had slowed her movements down considerably while Irina hummed.

Jack smiled watching them with fascination as he always had and then to see that Lena had fallen sound asleep on Irina and soon after, Irina sound asleep with her face turned into the top of Lena's head where she'd last kissed her softly. Her hand still lay over Lena's belly and the baby while Lena's arm remained draped over Irina and the image was just too cute for Jack to pass up and reached into his nightstand to grab the camera and take a picture, capturing the moment forever.

Neither of them stirred and he smiled putting the camera away and turning out the light, turning on his side to snuggle against Irina's other side with his own face close to her neck and draping his arm over her body to join her hand on Lena's belly and the baby who was also lulled back to sleep with the Russian lullaby.

Before the sun came up, Irina slipped out from under Lena to go running with Lara, who was preparing for the Olympics later that year in their home city of St. Petersburg. Lena hardly stirred awake and melted into the pillow and Irina's scent left behind on it, sleeping for another half hour before the incessant need to pee forced her awake. She smiled over at her father, kissing his head before leaving and crawling back in bed with her own husband for another half hour snuggling with him before she had to get up fully and prepare for her meeting with the Space Agencies.

Everything her mother had said to her the night before was now picking away at her brain in the daylight hours and she found herself using her split focus in thinking about becoming the Tsar and also what she was discussing with the Space Agencies for her present work, thankful her mother had taught her this tool in order to ponder other things while still getting business taken care of.

Current business being the discussion of building an International Orbital Space Station, '_A Gas Station'_ of sorts in the event of an Emergency like the one she faced on her last mission. A place where the Shuttle could obtain spare parts, such as extra oxygen and fuel tanks, tiles and Emergency Medical supplies. Her last trip into space as Shuttle Commander had forced them to continue to evaluate what it was going to take to further explore space and keep their crews safe. It was an evolutionary process and one Lena was excited to help further along now.

* * *

***What You Wanted***

When Lena met Arman for lunch that afternoon, she told him all that her mother had said the night before, asking his thoughts on the subject. He also wore the look of stunned surprise having not thought about Lena taking over for many more years to come but seeing at the same time, why her mother thought she was ready. She was after all, just speaking with RASA and NASA about the future of space exploration…when she talked, people listened.

"I think she's right. You are ready… but I think its up to you whether or not you feel like you are." Arman smiled softly over at her, caressing her fingers' lovingly as their hands met across the tabletop.

"You think I'm ready?" She asked with slightly wide-eyes.

"Yes, I do. I think in your heart, you know you are, too. You're just afraid and I think that's extremely naturally considering what it is you're about to undertake…but, Love, you've been undertaking it actually, your whole life…this is just the last massive step and as your mother said, she's going to walk you through the transition for a year and then be by your side if you need her for years after…" He gave her an encouraging smile outlining her fingers and the wedding rings on her hand, "And I'll be by your side, always, I'm by your side…and I'm ready when you are."

Lena couldn't stop the emotional tears forming in her eyes with her love for him and his for her and the unwavering support he always had for her. Her hand smoothed over her belly feeling the baby gently moving around this afternoon after a long and restful sleep the night before, she tapped her fingers against her stomach like her mother did to get the babies attention asking the silent question of, _'What do you think, baby…am I ready for this?'_ And felt the immediate sharp response kick of '_yes'_ against the exact spot her fingers were tapping. Her baby had definitely heard her hearts' question, pulling the truth from her she knew was there and was fearful of accepting.

"Are you certain?" Lena asked Arman keeping one hand over the baby and fingering his own wedding band knowing they were a team and in this together.

"Yes, always where you're concerned…I believe in you, Space Critter." He smiled widely picking up her hand and kissing it. "What's our baby _boy_ telling you?" He smirked playing on the tease of their baby being a boy though to him, it really didn't matter as long as they were healthy and he knew Lena felt the same. "I can see by the look on your face right now, you know his opinion." He laughed softly while she rolled her eyes playfully. "With such a close proximity to your heart right now, I've no doubt he knows exactly your feelings on the matter and agrees with you, doesn't he?"

"_She_…has an opinion, a very strong one at that too, yes." Lena smiled playing the sex game with him and emphasizing 'she' with a sexy smile. "It's a bit eerie how connected we are already that I don't have to verbally ask or say anything for her to know what I'm thinking and feeling and respond." She smiled softly running her hand over her belly, "A good eerie."

"Like the good 'eerie' connection your mother has with you." Arman smiled with a hint of a smirk. "Not having to verbally ask or say anything for her to know what you're thinking and feeling and how to respond." He smiled thinking about the mother-daughter connection. "So…" he prompted her knowing the answer already, "What is your heart telling you?"

* * *

**_*Myth, Power and Beauty*_**

The celebration for the Imperial Jubilee celebration kicked off the next week nearly a billion of people pouring into Russia mostly Moscow and St. Petersburg with epic scale events, balls and parades for all being held daily in both locations as part of the celebration marking the 25th Year Anniversary of Imperial Rule and Irina's reign. Her image was everywhere documenting her remarkable time on the throne from posters on the walls, billboards, bus and metro stations, buses and every one could think of throughout Russia and all of Europe with the world being invited to the majestic celebrations and wanting to honor the '_Woman Who'd Changed the World_.'

Irina graced the cover of almost every major magazine and front page of every newspaper in the world the entire week of celebration.

The end of the celebration would come on the 15th of May, the actual anniversary and the last of the films in the _Absolution_ series ending with Irina's Coronation was being shown the night before. That night was also a monumental moment in the Imperial household as Lara graduated from High School. She was smiling widely with pride standing beside her Babushka being congratulated on her success in graduating, outside the St. Petersburg theatre for the film premiere, as well as fielding question after question about her upcoming Olympics in the same city just two months from now, and carrying on the tradition of her grandmother and aunt before her by competing in several track and field events and the heavy favorite to win the 1500m now that Lena wasn't competing with her baby due only just two weeks before the start of the games.

Irina fielded questions about training Lara, speculation as to the Press Conference the Imperial Family was holding in the morning as well as the incredibly busy year thus far with the re-lease of the films, the births of her great-grandchildren and impending birth of another grand child, the next Tsarevich or Tsarevicha in line for the throne after Lena, the Jubilee going on now and hosting the Summer Olympics again, only this time in St. Petersburg in just a couple of months.

They all sat with rampant tears and smiles on their face watching as the film ended onscreen the night of the coronation with Jack holding Irina with baby Lena in his arms while the fireworks exploded around them and Peterhof behind them in a spectacular display.

_"And now that those dreams been fulfilled …what do you want now?"_ Jack cupped her face onscreen with both his hands, their faces millimeters apart as their lips touched lightly between every breath…every word.

_"Forever and Always."_ She smiled leaning in and sealing their lips with the loud crackled and explosions of fireworks going off behind them as the camera pulled away showing the entire gorgeous scene and palace until it faded to black and the real images from the film once again began to play in the credits though everyone was on their feet applauding loudly through their tears.

The timing of the release couldn't have been more amazing and perfect with the celebration going on now honoring that day twenty-five years ago tomorrow.

Lena had been crying with high emotions watching the last film as it was the first 'she' was really in it, first being in-utero going through insanity with her mother and then the amazing first week of her life and the months that followed.

Being pregnant now with her own child and seeing her mother before her on the screen pregnant with her changed her perspective dramatically in ways she never thought possible. Watching Cuvee's torture and making her mother choose while the sick man was devastating her baby was more then she could almost bear, more for what her mother must have been going through then what was being done to herself as the tiny baby.

Arman felt the same torrent of emotions, having seen the films before but watching them with new eyes now that he was part of the family and married to Lena, that she was carrying his child and couldn't imagine what it must have been like for Jack and Irina both to go through all they had to finally be together and their love for each other only became more astounding to him while they stood and applauded them along with everyone else in the theatre.

* * *

**_*Home *_**

In the limo on the way home, Irina bent her head to Lena's belly and started to hum the Russian Lullaby with cheek and hands pressed into position while the others in the car smiled in amusement that Irina sang the baby to sleep every night essentially and tonight she was getting a head start seeing how tired Lena already was and feeling how wound up and active the baby was.

"Her legs are relentless… I swear that the inside of my uterus must be black and purple from bruising." Lena sighed with a soft smile sliding slightly side ways leaning into Arman's shoulder with one on her belly with her mother's and the other stroking through Irina's long hair over her back while she hummed and had private whispering conversations with the baby.

"Your mother used to say the same thing about you." Katya laughed looking at the two before her now sitting across from them in the limo. "You kept her up most of the night with your own incessant kicking driving her nuts."

"I'm sorry, Mama." Lena sighed shaking her head and covering her eyes with her forearm leaning back against Arman's arm and the back of the seat with the tiredness setting in. "How did you get me to calm down?" She asked peeking out from under her arm watching Irina finishing with a kiss to the top of her belly and feeling the baby within apparently asleep.

"I would sing to you…the same song in the same way." Irina cupped her face with a smile and then kissed her cheek. "Sometimes though, there were times I loved to rile you up and get you moving and that's where the Gipsy Kings came into play…" She laughed softly shaking her head, "Oh how you loved the Gipsy Kings." She laughed shaking her head softly and Jacks' eyes flashed down to Lena's belly remembering that Irina was almost as far a long as their daughter was now, when Irina had been pregnant with Lena and when he'd first learned of her existence with _Volare_ by the Gipsy Kings blaring over the surround sound speakers in Irina's house in Rio. He had an overwhelming sense to kiss her and planned on doing just that the minute they were alone.

When they arrived back at the palace, Irina hugged and kissed every one goodnight holding them tightly, telling them how much she loved them and thankful they were in her life in this time of reflection with her entire life being recalled and she couldn't the tears flooding her eyes or the smile illuminating her face. She laughed when Weiss got back in line to kiss and hug her goodnight one more time and then pointing to the other cheek to get another kiss before laughing as he trudged up to bed.

They all knew that tomorrow morning at the Press Conference, Irina would announce that Lena would be taking in a years time with the next year being a transition year before Irina stepped down as Tsar. The entire week had been emotional for them all and knew that tomorrow would be the most emotional of all for her and them in thinking about what life would be like without her on the throne having grown so accustomed to it over the last quarter of a century and for a great majority, their entire lives.

"Come here." Jack smiled kissing her soundly once they were in their room for the night once she was in his arms. "I've been wanting to do that for a while." He laughed softly starting to dance with her in the middle of their dimly lit room. "I love you…"

"l love you." Irina smiled kissing in him again softly and threading her fingers into his hair.

"You look sensational in this dress in case I haven't told you already this evening." His smile widened sliding his hand down the formfitting navy blue dress.

"You have…a few times though feel free to keep complimenting me." She smiled dangerously undoing his tie and shirt buttons while her mouth moved over his jaw and down his neck.

"Hmm…well you deserve everyone of them," Jack smiled snaking his hands up her arms and to her bare shoulders feeling her heart pounding against his chest, "So how are you feeling about beginning the process of stepping down tomorrow." He asked softy catching her eyes and holding them while brushing her hair back over her shoulder. "Is your life going to feel somewhat empty now without being in charge of the Free World?" He added with a slight smirk.

"No." She shook her head slowly holding his eyes with her own dark and serious ones that were smiling with nothing but love, "My life will not, nor has it ever been empty…as long as I have love…that's all I need." She smiled against his lips speaking in a whisper and kissing his lips tenderly.

"And love you shall always have." Jack smiled kissing her back dancing slowly in the moonlight. "In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find someone in this day and age…who doesn't love you, My Love. You're the Queen of Hearts…especially mine."

She kissed him again more deeply and the passion once again ignited between them taking their time in their love making with laughter and smiles before falling asleep in their normal position with Irina draped over his chest.

* * *

_May 15th, 2028_

Irina woke first and remained in her position though turned slightly to look at him while he slept and couldn't resist the temptation to touch him after a while and lightly traced his lips with her fingertip, bringing him awake and greeting him with a gorgeous smile and kiss.

"We're doing it, you realize?" She whispered brushing her nose with his smiling and fingers tangling in his silvery hair.

"What?" He asked sliding his hand up her naked back.

"Growing old together." She smiled at the thought, "I've always wanted to grow old with you, Jack…and we're doing it." She kissed his lips again and laughed softly when he grabbed her side tickling her slightly and rolling them over so he was looking down at her.

"You, My Love, are far from growing old…as Vanity Fair says, _'you're the sexiest great-grandmother in the world_." He laughed nodding towards the magazine on the bed stand. "I'd most definitely agree with that title."

"And I think you're the sexiest great-grandfather in the world…" Irina smiled and Jack roared with laughter kissing her with a smile. "I'm serious, Jonathan Bristow." She kissed him back with raking hands, "And I'll show you how much." She flashed her deviant eyes at him and flipped them again so she was straddling him, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "You're the love of my life…and I love you more than I could ever say." She kissed him lightly bending over and sliding down his body, "So I'll just have to keep showing you every day for the rest of my life." She laughed and he did do too looking forward to the days when she no longer had to be up for work in the morning and they could stay all day in bed if they wanted.

**_*PM's Love Theme*_**

"And so it is with great honor that I announce to my country and my people that in one year's time," Irina smiled with tears in her eyes looking spectacular and gorgeous before the Press, taking Lena's hand under the table and squeezing it, "I will be stepping down as your Tsar of Imperial Russia and my daughter the Tsarevicha Lena will be taking over."

A loud gasp went through the crowd of people gathered with many in tears though smiling as the chatter was hushed again so Irina could continue, "I believe that she is ready and that Russia is ready for her. The time for change has come…and I have the utmost faith that my daughter and her abilities to rule." She smiled over at Lena who was sitting with tears in her eyes and one hand caressing the baby going wild inside her. "I have loved being your Tsar and will always love my people, you are my country, and my home and the past twenty-five years have been the best of my life…in this my final year of ruling to come I have no doubt will be finest yet as I proudly begin the steps of passing on the great honor you have bestowed upon me, to my daughter, Lena…the light of my life and the light of our future." She smiled wiping at her tears with a soft nod signaling it was okay to start with the questions.

**_*Time*_**

After the Press Conference was over they attended church at St. Isaacs for a special Coronation Anniversary celebration mass. When the service was over they all set out for their next stop to watch the parade.

"I am so hungry." Lena smiled, laughing and running her hand over her belly as they walked down the long row of steps outside heading towards the limos that would take them to the area they'd be viewing the parade from. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it through this parade without eating anything."

"You can have some of Dmi's snacks if you want them?" Nicholas smiled at his sister laughing with her while he and Jack held one hand each of the toddler, swinging him between them down each step as the little boy let loose with peels of laughter loving this game.

"I might have to take you up on that offer, Cowboy." Lena laughed her arm linked with her mother's as they stepped carefully down each step amongst the crowd of people gathered. "Feel this." She smiled at Irina, taking her mother's hand and placing it over her belly with an enormous grin, "I can't believe how active this baby is…I've never felt her moving as much as I have today."

"She' must like all the excitement and commotion…the music." Irina smiled brightly, feeling the baby kicking against her palm. "As I told you last night, you loved music and excitement." She laughed at the memory.

"I still do." Lena laughed, fingering her hair behind her ear.

"What makes you so certain it's a '_she_?" Arman asked playfully but with more determination this time, having had this conversation and discussion with Irina for months now; the two of them bantering over the unknown sex of the baby but he was fascinated by her absolute belief their baby was a girl.

"I just know." Irina smiled her famous drop you to your knees grin with a shrug, her hand smoothing over Lena's belly again as they casually descended the stairs.

"I wouldn't doubt Mom on this." Sydney laughed beside him eyeing her mother with her own famous dimpled grin, arm linked with Lara, "She has some sort of weird sixth sense about this kind of thing."

"Its not a weird sixth sense but more of…a recognition of a piece of my heart," Irina smiled, with soul-full eyes looking at Sydney and both of them remembering the conversation they had long ago, when Sydney was pregnant with Anya about passing on a 'piece of your' heart to your child and their child, etc. "It's in each of you." Her smile radiated as she brushed her fingers under Lena's chin, and then glanced around at her beautiful family when they hit the bottom of the steps. "And a piece of my heart is with this '_granddaughter_' as well." Her hand went back to Lena's stomach with a raging smile as she emphasized 'granddaughter.'

Her eyes quickly glanced down to where her hand was now resting over the top of Lena's belly feeling the baby kick and looked back up, blinked rapidly and then shot back down. Recognition of something she hadn't seen in a very long time stilled her heart with time frozen as her eyes locked onto the red circle of light just above her hand over Lena's heart.

In the space of milliseconds her eyes flashed up to Jack's and before he could blink she lunged in front of Lena with a single step, feeling the silent explosion rip through her as they both staggered backwards almost falling. The momentum wheeling her around until she caught onto Lena's upper arm, holding her up and steadying them.

"Are you ok?" Irina's hand immediately brushed against Lena's face, staring into her daughter's confused and terrified eyes as the others stopped and turned their attention back to them, having no idea what was going on in the space of these seconds. "Are you…ok?" She spoke again in a strangled voice and tasted the metallic sting of her own blood as it began to seep into her mouth.

Lena's eyes flashed to her mother's mouth in horror seeing the blood and then to the hand her mother was holding just under her chest, the same crimson seeping through her fingers there, staining her hand and white clothes as Irina slowly started to sink to her knees, Lena trying to hold her up.

_"Mama!"_ Lena screamed in terrorized panic realizing her mother had been shot, clinging to her and placing her hand over her mother's. _"No! Mama! NO!"_ She screamed and everyone stopped completely still with eyes flashing to the bright red blood now staining their hands as she sank to her knees in front of and with Irina. _"Mama!" _

"No…" Jack's heart all but stopped realizing what was happening, what had happened already having seen the red target on Lena the moment Irina's eyes flashed with his and he let go of Dmitri's hand rushing to his wife and daughter's sides as the rest of the crowd screamed in panic coming to the same realization and running frantically in every direction to get away from the sniper. "No!" He choked on his tears, quickly kneeling at Irina's side and rolling her into him just as Arman flew to Lena's when violent cramping in her stomach buckled her over trying to hold onto her mother and her stomach at the same time.

The bright red drop of blood staining Irina's lip was the first thing he saw when her face turned up to his and tears flushed his eyes; his worst nightmare coming true as he held her in his arms.

"Irina…" He sobbed, looking down at her and then to the blood soaked hand slowly falling away from her wound. He grabbed quickly at it, holding it over the bullet wound with his own, pressing down firmly to stem the erupting blood flow.

"Jack…" Irina gasped feeling the frightening cold slowly consuming her body and energy draining from within. Her eyes locked with his, and feeling her own tears forming as she looked up at him.

"Shhh…" His quivering voice tried to calm her and himself' at the fear he saw in her eyes, felt in his own heart and heard through the wailing of his daughter beside him. "Don't try and talk, My Love…you're going to be ok." He choked on his own sob with a forced tiny smile as the rest of his family immediately surrounded them, sobbing in horror fully realizing what was happening.

_"Mom!"_ Sydney screamed through her blinding tears, kneeling beside them on the bottom of the steps and holding her hand over theirs while Marcelo and Sergei jumped into action. _"Hang on Mom, please hang on!" _

The scream of sirens broke through the whitewash of noise slowly drowning out every other sound in Irina's hearing and she fought the blackness creeping into the edges of her vision. Her eyes sweeping the faces of her children and grandchildren looking down at her in a brief moment as well as her husbands before she could no longer see. "I love…you…" She choked on each word merely a whisper and surrendered to the blackness.

_"No!"_ Her children and sister screamed in tandem watching her eyes fall shut and head lull against Jack's arm into his chest. _"No! Mama NO! Hang on! Not like this!"_

**_*Balcony Scene*_**

The medics arrived at her side seconds later and had to push past the family to access her. Irina was quickly loaded into the back of a helicopter and Jack moved in stunned motions surrounded by silence evening though pandemonium had broken out around them. His eyes staring at his shaking hands covered in her warm blood in the back of the limo to the hospital while his mind raced with lightening speed through their life together, hoping this wouldn't be the end and each of his family doing the same.

_"What?"_

_"My name…is Laura."_

_"Good morning Beautiful…"_

_"Stay the fuck away from me you mean mean man!" _

_"Sweetie…" _

_"I said…stay away from me! You're never going to touch me ever again do you hear me! NEVER!" _

_"Jack, don't leave me. Please don't leave me!" _

_"I'm not leaving you My Love, I'm right here!"_

_"Hello Baby Girl…don't cry…its ok. Mommy's here… shhh…it's ok…"_

_"This is some potent rum Jack…"_

_"That's the last time we'll be separated this long again… I promise Laura."_

_"Did my heart love 'til now, for swear it sight. For it never saw true beauty 'til this night…"_

_"Jack…The police called…there was an accident."_

_"I don't know how to live without her…"_

_"Jack, This isn't easy to tell you…She was an Agent…for the KGB…who was sent here to marry you and steal information." _

_"I had no idea who she really was and now I am nothing without her…"_

_"The truth is…I don't care who she was Arvin…I loved the woman I was married to…I am nothing without her…I would search the ends of the Earth to find her…"_

_"You're alive."  
_

_"Barely…though I know you must be disappointed."  
_

_"We are all so quick to point out the horrible things 'this monster' has done to other people, myself included, but what about the things that have been done to her? We shouldn't see them because it would what, humanize her?"_

_"Sweetheart, love abides by no boundaries or laws made by man…only the heart. I understand your love for your family…and I forgive you Irina. I love you forever and always…" _

_"...Maybe…that's why it is so easy to hate Irina Derevko…she is the epitome of everything I can't stand about living this life, being a spy…because she's the same thing..." _

_"It's all about you, you you you! You don't have any idea what she went through for you, what 'she' sacrificed, or anyone else, do you?! I'm so sick of it being all about you! Jack, you weren't the only one who had your life destroyed by Irina's mission." _

_"So young…beautiful and full of fire, just like your mother. But any wild horse can be tamed, some take longer then others…but they are all 'breakable' in the end. Aren't they Irina?"_

_"Wow…she can cook too? She really is impressive." _

_"She was with you! In Panama…the passive tracker… you slept with her!" _

_"Well I found this," He held up an ammo belt and gun holster, "on top of this." In his other hand he held up the book, 'What To Expect When You're Expecting.' "Only in the home of Irina Derevko." _

_"Where do you want me to start?" _

_"We live in the real world, Jack…not some fairy tale, and in the real world, you are the hunter and I am the hunted. "_

_"This is your room…"_

_"No…this is your room." _

_"She knows what's best for her Mommy…and that's no 'but Jack's." _

_"You really think she would just stand there waiting for us to arrest her? This is Irina Derevko we're talking about; she came prepared. She shot me..." _

_"So should I be packing, expecting a Delta Team storming in at any moment or can I keep sleeping in my nice warm bath?" _

_"Did I tell you how stunning you are?"_

_"Dance with me?" _

_"I want you now."_

_"Let go, Irina…"_

_"I'll never get tired of coming home…I want you to stay forever in my arms." _

_"God, I need you…"_

_"Jack and I have always had this kind of relationship…very attracted to each other, very much in love with one another. My family…my husband, my daughters and my son, my sister and her family…our friends, are the most important aspect of my life."_

_"You said Mama! Sweet baby girl I can't believe you said Mama!"_

_"Oh yes, Baby…I'm back…in black."_

_"All hail the creation of Lena!"_

_"My name was a lie…but never my love."_

_"When are you going to get it…get it through that…that thick fucking skull… that you're the only man…only man I want Jonathan!"_

_"I love you too. I'm glad you liked the party…but…there is another gift I have to tell you about…one you'll have to wait awhile for it to arrive. Sort of last minute thing... Jack…I'm pregnant.""_

_"How?"_

_"Jack you know how…we've done this before."_

_"Please…don't worry about me." _

_"Irina…that's like asking me not to breathe."_

_"We made another baby."_

_"Is that what I think it is?" _

_"Yes it is. You're having twins."_

_"Another baby is more of you, for me to love."_

_"Sydney…its ok if you want to sleep in the middle." _

_"No, its ok Dad. Anyway, this way we can share her."_

_"Irina knows what its like to live…really live."_

_"That's because… she knows what its like to die." _

_"I'm so sorry Jack." _

_"For what? You didn't do anything wrong, My Love…Irina, you had no control over this and I certainly don't hold you responsible." _

_"She was a beautiful whore…a goddamn gorgeous one a that! I doubt any man would turn her down. Too damn good to be true! … She was nothing but a lying whore! A whore Jack! A KGB whore who's dead and gone!" _

_"No Sweetheart, its not. It will never be ok that my baby had to feel my love from an object rather then my arms." _

_"I feel it now, Mom." _

_"Why don't you ever wear Kevlar?" _

_"The point of Kevlar…is to save life…it doesn't do any good if you're already dead."_

_"I've always loved your dimples. They're so adorable."_

_"But that doesn't even really fit you…because you are outstandingly beautiful, therefore…fit the description of gorgeous, My Love… which means 'outstandingly beautiful'…and goes way beyond and negates 'pretty,' beyond just beautiful…you are extraordinarily gorgeous."_

_"You've really been studying your definitions."_

_"Well, I had to get an accurate description in reference to my wife."_

_"Don't worry, Dmitri." _

_"I will always worry about you. It's a father's place to worry, and you are my daughter in every way…"_

_"Devlin just called, CIA had a walk-in, she just…surrendered… she said she wants to cooperate." _

_"Who?"_

_"Your mother."_

_"We just want her…and she just wants us…in the here…and the now. Loving her now, is all the penance she desires for the crimes of our past…"_

_"That certainly doesn't seem like much of a punishment. She is so easy to love."_

_"Loving her is, more like a reward, isn't it?"_

_"I'm blind." _

_"Oh God Jack! Come on. You can't very well get mad at him for that! Not when you were just doing the same thing to her mother." _

_"I've had a picture of your face in my mind…"_

_"You haven't told her what you did to her after I disappeared…have you?"_

_"I spent a decade with this woman…and another twenty years analyzing how she could have deceived me for so long…trust me when I tell you, I am protecting you."_

_"No you're not. I think you loved Mom so much, that when she left you, you lost your soul!"_

_"I know what you're thinking." _

_"Do you?" _

_"The toaster."_

_"Why do you think I learned the sewage tunnels…or memorized the mine locations? So I could escape you idiot…"_

_"What are you more afraid of, that she's manipulating you again or that she isn't? That maybe it wasn't all an illusion…Or maybe what really scares you…is that you've realized you're still in love with her, in spite of everything else?"_

_"I've had twenty years to reflect on that woman's ability to deceive, trust me…if she lies to me again, I'll know it."_

_"Sweet Dear God in Heaven you're throwing damnation right at me by tempting me with the Devil herself."_

_"I never thanked you for everything that-For raising our daughter."_

_"We should get to bed." _

_"Yeah we should."_

_"Jack…"_

_"Shhh…"_

_"Irina might have wanted to save Sydney's life…"_

_"I doubt that's the case."_

_"Mom was there to save me Dad and then you shot her!" _

_"I…I'd hoped that you'd see that in Panama. 'See' my intentions." _

_"Panama! All I saw you do in Panama was use yourself as a whore again to get what you want and then escape into the waiting arms of Arvin Sloane!" _

_"I saw your intentions and I decided to manipulate you at your own game…to use you…like you used me all those years."_

_"You just called us a family."_

_"You're still married to Mom?"_

_"She's pregnant."_

_"What? How far along?"_

_"Almost twenty-six weeks and before you do the math…I'm the father..."_

_"Enough of this finding out the truth second hand…We're going to St. Petersburg…tonight!"_

_"Dad… mom's in there I know it. I'm going in."_

_"And I lied to you…about that night in Panama."_

_"This is about us." _

_"There is no 'us' Jack! There will never be an 'us."_

_"We live in the real world, Jack…not some fairy tale, and in the real world, you are the hunter and I am the hunted. There are always 'buts' in the real world." _

_"The only thing I am certain of…Is that I love you, Irina."_

_"Are you scared?"_

_"Terrified."_

_"Jack, I'm sure you know by now that I am not good with 'goodbyes. Please, just tell me that this will all be over soon and that I will see you again."_

_"Yes, of course you'll see me again."_

_"Irina?" _

_"Yes Jack?" _

_"I haven't said 'Thank You,' for blessing me, us, with another beautiful daughter. And I wanted to say…how very much I love you…"_

_"and the previous sentence of death… By Lethal Injection shall be carried out in 48 hours…"_

_"Jack…you have to do this… You have to let me go."_

_"You are my soul-mate, Irina…I will find you. I always find you."_

_"Oh course I will marry you again. I love you."_

_"Let me what, Jack?! Let me 'whore myself out'…isn't that what you were about to say, Jack." _

_"There's your goddamn fucking dress you jealous son-of-a-bitch." _

_"I'm sorry that I hurt you so badly in the past…that you're incapable of trusting me now."_

_"I love you with all that I am…and it's still not enough."_

_"I'm serious Dad. You're scared you're going to lose her again and your letting your fear take over and by doing that, you're pushing her away."_

_"Dubey was right, and I was a fool…you gave me the most precious thing in the world, your heart, because you loved me and you trusted me and I ripped it out and threw it right in your face. I feel so terrible, because I know how much that hurts…its how I felt twenty years ago." _

_"I've missed you so much. I just never want to lose you again…"_

_"I'm not going anywhere, Jack. I'm not going anywhere." _

_"You're right. I did swear that I would protect her and I failed. That is something that I will have to live with everyday for the rest of my life." _

_"It's ok…I'm not dead. I'm here…with you. Always with you…I'm not going anywhere ever again."_

_"Goddamn you're beautiful!" _

_"Ask me again, Jack…" _

_"Irina…you have my heart, you have my love…and you have my complete trust in us. Will you marry me?" _

_"She's breathtaking…" _

_"Breathe Jack." _

_"There are no words…" _

_"We had some unfinished business to take care of." _

_"I can't get enough of you…the last three days have been torture…my body, my heart…everything aches for you." _

_"I would rather die…then live without you again." _

_"It's good to know that the man who holds her heart, is protective of it…" _

_"I wanted our baby…I wanted our son." _

_"Just like his Daddy…I named him 'Jack' after you…" _

_"I think we 'make love' pretty damn well, my wife." _

_"God…I'm going to miss you. My little security blanket." _

_"Jaaaaaaaack!" _

_"You came for me." _

_"I love you…I'll always come for you Irina…and had I known you were still alive 20 years ago…I would have come for you then too." _

_"Talk to me Irina…tell me what you're thinking and we'll figure it out together." _

_"And now that those dreams been fulfilled …what do you want now?" _

_"Forever and Always." _

_"We're doing it you realize…"_

_"What?"_

_"Growing old together." _

Jack sat unmoving in the plastic green chair outside the Emergency Room hearing the flat-line scream through the door and then Irina's voice in his heart and echoing through him, whispering, _'Goodnight.'_

_'Goodnight,'_ His heart answered back without permission watching the doctor shake his head to the others in the room behind the glass windows.

_'Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight til it be morrow.'_

He felt her breath on his ear and then her lips touch his in the briefest of kisses with his eyes closed and tears streaming from his cheeks. The doctor exiting Irina's room with tears streaming down his face didn't need to tell Jack. Irina was gone…he felt it and heard her goodbye.

The scream of the flat-line had been replaced with the scream of a baby as his eyes turned to the room next to Irina's where Lena was taken.

_***The End***_

Irina smiled with tears in her eyes drifting away from Jack and then up smiling through pained tears with a flash of happiness looking down and seeing her granddaughter screaming into the world with Alexei holding her tiny form up for Lena and Arman to see, one life exchanged for the other and in an instant they were gone and she was walking through the darkness once more towards the light.

She gasped with raging tears when she saw the silhouette of her mother in front of the light wearing a gorgeous white dress, a baby with blonde hair on her hip that Irina knew in an instant to be her grandson Antony and holding her mother's hand by a finger was her own curly haired little boy who waited only a moment before bolting forward running at her full speed and she dropped down onto her knees and engulfed him into her arms crying.

His little arms wrapped around her neck and held for a long moment before pulling back and smiling at her with his own infectious grin. His little hands gently covered her eyes and then swept over her face with his own close to hers, "No more tears, Mama…" he shook his head smiling with a tiny giggle.

"No more tears." Irina replied with a smile cupping his little face and kissing him.

"Come on, Mama…we've been waiting for you." He smiled taking her by the hand and leading her towards the light and her mother smiling widely at her with the giggling baby in her arms chewing on his fingers.

"Hello, Sweetheart," Anastasia smiled at Irina cupping her face with tears in her own eyes.

"Hello, Mama." Irina choked out with a raging smile and felt her mother's hand link with her own and then lead her away into the light.

* * *

Lena was sobbing with pounding heart watching as Alexei and the other doctors looked over her baby who had been born a month early under the stress.

"What's going on? What's happening?" She cried feeling a flood of emotions she couldn't decipher having no idea what was going on with her baby or her mother in the next room, "Is she okay?" she asked exhausted with a scream cry while Sydney cried beside her, trying to smooth her hair over her head and calm her knowing her sister was terrified not only for her baby but for their mother as well as was she and wondering if Lena felt the same pain and emptiness she suddenly felt.

"She's okay, child." Alexei smiled at her with his own flooding tears handing the baby to Arman, "Tiny but strong and healthy." He nodded at her and the then to the screaming baby who looked just like her mother and grandmother.

"What about Mama?" Lena cried reaching for her baby as Arman put her into Lena's arms and the baby wailed continuously.

Alexei didn't have time to answer before Katya appeared in the doorway with tears streaming down her cheeks and choking on them staring at Irina's daughters' before her and the baby in Lena's arms wailing with life. She shook her head slowly once, unable to say the words, to tell them their mother was dead and Lena immediately screamed in a loud gasping wail losing control completely.

_"Nooooooooo!"_ She screamed in long drastic cries that carried through the hospital corridors and broke everyone's already bleeding hearts with the news of the death of the Tsar. _"She's not dead…no!"_ Lena screamed again crying and trying to rip her IVs out and get out of bed while a sobbing Sydney and Arman tried to hold her down.

"She's gone, Sweetheart." Katya cried reaching out to hold her in her arms while Lena pounded her fists against her in anguish and then gave in to the body wracking sobs when Katya kept repeating in a whisper in her ear that her mother was gone though still in shock herself.

The nurses slipped a sedative into her IV line and within minutes Lena was unconscious and laying back against her bed with her wailing daughter still in her lap having yet to really be seen by her mother. The tear tracks on Lena's face in her stillness only caused them all to cry more when the shock started to wear off some and settle in at all that had just happened.

Katya kissed her head and then scooped up Irina's last grandchild who was red with cries and felt her own flooding her eyes again staring at her face and only seeing Irina. "Shhh, Sweetheart," She choked back a sob taking in her teeny tiny form, "It will be okay." She tried to sooth her when she felt anything but okay. No matter what they tried the baby only screamed more.

Jack stood before the doors to the Emergency Room where Irina lay covered from the chest down with a blue surgical cloth on a the cold steel table. He felt like he was in a dream, a nightmare seeing her go down on her knees over and over before him with the blood staining her lips and her dark eyes staring up at him as her life began to leave her body. The nurses who were in with her now were sobbing as they removed the tubes from her body that had been used in trying to save her life one more time and failed. The doctor had told him that the bullet directly pierced the center of her heart and there was nothing they could have done to save her.

"Your Highness," the nurse cried trying and failing to hold back her emotion gently touching his arm snapping him out of his trance for the moment, "You may go in now if you wish to see her before they take her away." She sobbed again looking back at her lifeless Tsar on the table, "I'm so sorry…so sorry." She cried and Jack nodded at her with silent rivers of tears flowing from his eyes having not said a thing with his last words being to Irina while lying on the steps of the cathedral.

She opened the door and he stepped inside in the freezing room walking one step at a time towards her and feeling his heart begin to pound wildly out of control looking down at her. They had cleaned her up and she looked just like she was sleeping and when he bent his head to press his lips to hers and felt the cold that had already begun to seep into her body he wailed with a strangled scream pressing his forehead to hers and hugging her head. He stayed with her, pulling up a stool to sit beside her and stroked her hair over her forehead in silence as his emotionless mask filtered back over his face settling into the shock once more.

* * *

An hour later he turned when he heard the door swing open behind him and the held back cry as Alexei laid eyes upon Irina for the first time. A baby was curled into the crook of his arm asleep and sucking furiously on a pacifier almost as big as her tiny head and Jack knew instantly that it was his grandchild.

Alexei couldn't take his eyes off Irina crying openly as he walked closer to Jack and then eyes flashing between her and the baby in his arms. Memories flooded him of delivering Irina years ago and then to delivering the baby in his arms just now and the babies looking the same and his heart wept.

"Your granddaughter, Jack." He smiled through his tears handing the baby to Jack who gasped looking down into her beautiful face as he held her tiny form in just his hands with his breath stolen at how much she looked like Irina. "She's perfectly healthy, just extremely tiny…4 lbs 3oz and 15 inches long…" Alexei brushed the baby's head gently and then used his other hand to do the same with Irina's, bending over and kissing her forehead with falling tears and a strangled cry.

"Shouldn't she be with Lena?" Jack asked mesmerized with the baby in his hands and feeling her radiating warmth and pink skin in stark contrast to Irina's cold form on the table before him growing paler in color with every passing minute.

"We had to sedate her after she learned about Irina…she's awake now," Alexei shook his head sadly with new tears, "But Lena doesn't want anything to do with the baby." He swallowed hard watching Jack's head fall with eyes closing and large sigh with new tears falling from his eyes, "She was born the same minute Irina's death was announced… 3 p.m." He choked on the words speaking of his 'daughter's' death and leaning forward to kiss her head again stroking her hair with anguish. "She's in much the same state as she was when Antony and the baby died… severe shock and not speaking to anyone or moving at all…I'm having Pysch come down to look at her as I fear she's going to swing into a massive state of Post-Partum Depression now." He shook his head watching the tiny baby in Jack's hands stretch, "I think she knows…that if she looks into her child's eyes she's going to see her mother…one body traded for another." He looked between the baby and Irina with new tears and Jack instantly had flashes of Irina from the night before in the limo with her head on Lena's belly calming the baby as she had done before, the only one who could do so and now it made sense as to why. He shook the thought from his mind and aching heart hearing Alexei speak again, "Jack, they asked me to come in because they need to take Irina now…you won't be able to see her again for a couple of days."

Jack's eyes flashed up with a hint of anger running through them at the thought of being separated from her and Alexei saw it immediately and placed a soft old hand on his shoulder.

"She's in good hands now, Jack…your children need you…and you need them." He spoke softly nodding towards the baby in Jack's hands and Jack began to cry silently again, moving to stand with the baby carefully snuggled into his arm he leaned over kissing Irina's blue lips and letting them linger in the stale kiss while he choked back a sob.

"I'll see you soon, My Love." He promised vowing not to let her be alone longer then she had to and stepped back turning away from her and walking with the baby out the double doors while the orderlies and security moved in to escort her body to the morgue. Everyone was in shock and tears.

**_*Deliver Me*_**

When he walked into the hallway, his eyes flashed up to the television as ears caught her name and saw the group of people standing around staring up and sobbing as they watched the image of Irina from the week before in a meeting with the President of the United States flashed onto the screen as the crying newscaster announced the startling news that the Tsar of Imperial Russia was dead.

Her gorgeous face so full of life onscreen immediately ceased Jack's heart and he held back a cry staring at her face before it disappeared and the reporter went on to describe the unconfirmed reports that she was assassinated though from eye-witness accounts and the news footage following the family leaving the cathedral revealed, the shooter was actually aiming at Lena, and Irina stepped in the path of the bullet having seen the mark and the footage of her laughing, then looking, then lunging and rocking backwards with the explosion of the bullet played in a short loop over and over while everyone gasped with horror and raging tears and sobs and Jack immediately turned away and the baby began to stir and cry.

He propped her up gently against his chest, heart to heart and kissed the gently downy dark hair on the top of her tiny head with tears falling down his face struggling to hold back a sob feeling the shock wave going through his chest and heart from the contact and knew without a doubt, he was now holding Irina's heart in his hands.

When Jack walked through the door to Lena's room she was alone, curled up on her side and crying into her pillow staring into space. Her head turned to look at him for the first time, saw the blood still staining his shirt beneath the blanket surrounding the baby on his chest and the tears in his eyes and started to sob. She had sent everyone away, including Arman wanting to be alone for a while seeing the replay over and over in her mind of her mother lunging in front of her and then asking if she was okay with blood seeping from her lips until she dropped to her knees.

She had known seconds after that in an instant replay that her mother wasn't the one the sniper was trying to kill, but herself, and her mother jumped in front of the bullet intercepting it from its target.

"Why Daddy, why…why did she do it?" Lena sobbed in a scream burying her face into her pillow turning away from him and the baby in his arms and fisting the sheets in her hand.

"Because…she loved you more than life itself." Jack spoke quietly above her running a trembling hand over her head with streams running from his eyes trying to be strong for his daughter. "She knew what she was doing…she chose to save you and the baby because with your mother…there was no other choice." He leaned his head into hers while she cried and then the baby began to cry.

Lena didn't respond to her cries at all and Jack swallowed hard sitting carefully on the edge of the bed with the baby crying and fisting her tiny arms by her face, "Sweetheart, have you even looked at her…she's beautiful…she looks just like you…just like your mother." He added with a choked whisper and Lena sobbed turning her head slightly to see the wailing baby. "She's hungry and she needs her mother."

"But I don't know how," Lena cried shaking her head, "Mama was supposed to be here…supposed to show me."

"Here," Jack held the baby out to her and she hesitated a moment crying hard before taking the baby with shaking arms crying just as hard as the baby, "I'll go find your sisters and they'll help you…she helped them…and they can help you."

"Its not fair…she should be here." Lena wailed trying to cradle the tiny baby in her arms who was growing angrier by the minute with hunger. She didn't want her sisters to show her what their mother had taught them, she wanted her mother to teach her, herself.

"I know, Peanut…she wanted to be here." He gasped with a cry trying to rein in his sobs kissing her forehead quickly and setting off to find Sydney and Nadia not knowing what else to do and feeling himself unraveling rapidly.

The baby was screaming with pleading eyes looking up at Lena who was crying looking down at her, "I don't know what to do…I'm sorry."

_'Yes, you do.'_ A voice inside her heart answered back.

"I don't." Lena shook her head.

_'You do…try.' _

"I can't."

_'You can.'_

Lena sobbed and with trembling hands released the ties on her gown and pulled at the shoulder snaps exposing her chest. The baby in her arms was instantly and instinctively nuzzling her flesh and snorted with anger she wasn't finding what she wanted.

Lena had seen many in her family nursing many times and sobbed while she tried to remember what they had done, what she had heard her mother say to Nadia when telling her how to do it and recalled the words and action.

When she felt the baby latch on and her cries cease immediately though her body trembled from crying, Lena began to sob that much more looking down at the tiny form nursing at her breast finding the comfort she needed.

_'See, you can.'_ She heard her heart thunder again bringing more tears as she tried to drown the voice out.

"I don't want to…I don't want to do it alone. I need you."

_'You're never alone and I'm always here.' _

"No, you're not…you're not here." Lena cried in anger shaking her head sobbing at the internal monologue raging within her heart.

_'Yes, I am…you know that I am…you can hear me now.' _

"But I want you here…to hold and to look at." Lena sobbed.

_'You're holding me now…I'm in your heart and hers…an endless chain never broken...I'm always with you, Sweetheart…always.' _

When Jack walked back through the door with Sydney, Nadia and Arman they all paused to see the baby already nursing and content while Lena stare down at her with silent rivers flowing from her eyes. Her head slowly turned up, catching their eyes and face contorting into a sob again wanting her mother so badly she could barely breathe.

Arman wrapped his arms around her coming to stand by the bed with his own raining tears, holding her quietly gazing at their baby whose tiny little hand was palming Lena's chest with eyes closed going back to sleep. Sydney and Nadia sat on the edges of the bed with Sydney holding her hand and Nadia's forming a chain of support as they all cried softly feeling the greatest pain they'd ever known sinking in while staring at pure love and joy in the same instant.

Jack sat in the chair in the corner watching them and crying softly with them seeing Irina in all of them now more then ever.

"Have you thought of a name?" Sydney asked running her thumb nervously over the back of Lena's hand still numb with shock and the occasional lightening bolts of pain surging through her with the flash of _'Mom is gone.' _Her mother had survived death so many times, it was impossible to believe this was real. It happened so quickly.

Lena shook her head softly 'no' and then turned her red eyes up to her husband sharing a silent conversation.

"I think her name is inevitable…" Lena sniffled with face contorting again failing to hold back her cry and her sisters both nodded with faces scrunching in the same anguish and understanding and all three spoke at the same time.

_"Irina." _

"Is that okay with you, Daddy?" Lena asked through her tears feeling numb as well with the same occasional crippling blows that Sydney and the rest of them were having as it slowly sank in.

"Of course, Peanut…I think its perfect." Jack nodded with a soft smile through his own tears and voice choked.

When Lena repositioned the baby on instinct over her chest to burp her she felt the tiny but mighty heart beating rapidly against her own with bare skin on bare skin and heard the faint whisper run through her of, _'I'm here.'_

The tiny ball of energy on her chest was refueling her heart as fast as she was hemorrhaging from it and with every rapid beat felt her mother's presence.

* * *

**_*Moonlight Sonata*_**

The world was in the same absolute shock and disbelief that the Imperial Family was in with the news of Irina's death and candle lit vigils sprang up rapidly with people mourning her loss together in some cases by the millions in one place.

Jack dreaded returning to the palace that night and to their bed where just hours ago, had made love for the last time, and so he opted to stay in the hospital sitting in the chair outside the morgue, not wanting to leave her alone as he promised despite the pleading of his children and sister-in-law to come 'home.' He knew she wasn't there anymore but he couldn't seem to grasp the fact that the body he had made love to only this morning, his sacred temple, his 'home,' was now void of life.

He'd been down there alone for over an hour before Dmitri walked in looking haggard and his age for the first time with two cups of coffee in hand and bright red eyes from crying.

"I know she was your whole life, Jack…" Dmitri spoke after a moment of silence handing the younger man a cup of coffee growing colder by the second as neither of them touched it, "But she was mine, too." His eyes flashed over to Jack's and slid one hand over his shoulders with flooding tears and the two looked at each other a moment before Jack reached for him and both held each other crying.

They both stayed all night with Irina's body and then escorted it to the mortuary where it would be prepared for Lying in State and then burial. Dmitri hadn't wanted to go home either knowing with certainty that she would never come home again. That it was really over. No new holes or gashes to mend and repair. She was just never coming home again.

The country was in an Official State of Mourning with flags at half-staff and everyone remaining in a state of shock and those lining the streets in the pouring rain which had started shortly after Irina's death was announced, bursting into tears when the car carrying Irina's body left the hospital escorted by heavy military Security Detail and suddenly making her death that much more real for many.

Jack returned to the hospital after leaving Irina at the mortuary to bring Lena and baby Irina home from the hospital with Arman under heavy Security Detail knowing their was an assassin still out there who had missed their 'target' in Lena and he didn't want to let her out of his sight in public. Their leaving causing another wave of tears to surge through the massive crowds gathered at the tragic circumstances of the babies birth and knowing from the news she was born at the exact moment that Irina had died.

The minute he was home, Jack was drawn to their room and found himself walking slowly up the steps and carefully opening the door with raging tears in his eyes with eyes landing on their bed as flashes of her danced through his mind.

His eyes landed on her nightgown lying at the foot of their bed having left yesterday morning in such a rush she hadn't had time to put it away and his trembling fingers reached for it, remembering doing the same when he had believed she died years ago…and pulling it to his nose and inhaling her scent he sank onto the bed and lost it sobbing with all that he had been holding back staring at the empty side of the bed where she would never lay again. He cried himself to sleep against her pillow and when he awoke, it was already dark outside he could see through the balcony doors and still pouring rain.

Slowly he made his way down the stairs in the eerily silent house and his ears picked up the melody of the song that had haunted his dreams for years coming from the Throne Room. His breath caught in a teary gasp when he looked in and swore he saw Irina sitting at the piano with her body sway slightly as she played and long dark hair dancing over her back but with a hard blink he focused on Lena who was playing her heart out, literally. The raging streams of tears and quiet sobs echoed through the massive room as both were continuously haunted by Irina's last moments and what she had done.

He watched her for a moment and then took note of the Moses Basket that had once been Lena's sitting just inside the doorway and taking a step in peered down to see the teeny tiny form inside, sound asleep and looking purely angelic wrapped in white blankets. He couldn't stop his draw to her and carefully scooped her up, causing tiny sounds to escape from teeny form with sudden stretches.

"Hello Irina," He smiled through clouding eyes blurred with tears and kissed her soft head. He turned her in his arms to position her in such a way that her chest was once again against his own and she relaxed completely.

Quietly he sat down on the sofa and listened to her remembering Irina's words to him when Lena had been playing the same song while in space, that she was playing to remember and playing to forget…the same reasons she had played the song in Berlin.

She stopped playing and sat in silence for a moment before turning and staring right at him, sensing his presence and he saw her lip quiver looking at him and the baby on his chest. Neither said any thing as there was nothing to say.

* * *

**_*The Theme from The Notebook*_**

The following morning they gathered in the kitchen preparing to eat breakfast before making their way to Peterhof where Irina would be Lying in State for the next five days before the funeral. Millions of people were already lined up to see her and pay their last respects but the family and her close personal friends were given the respect of being the first.

The sky was dark and gloomy and the rain had continually poured for the last three days adding to the somber mood. the media hadn't taken long to start covering the story and already this morning, covering her last days and what exactly happened from what they'd known so far as to how she killed in saving her daughters' life. It was especially tragic and heartbreaking to she the images of her taken just the night before her death and just minutes before as she was leaving the church in her gorgeous white dress.

Looking at the two photographs left mixing memories in Jack's mind as he could see her smiling and feel her kiss while they danced with her wearing the navy blue dress and seeing the flashes of her dying in his arms in the white. To those who hadn't seen her 'dead' yet, which was most as only Jack and Alexei had seen her at the hospital, reading the headlines and articles speaking of her death with such finality was hard to bare as it still hadn't fully sunk in yet, still seemed like she was just 'away' on a trip and they could still see her smiling and laughing like she was in the pictures on the covers of the magazines.

"Is God crying, too?" Elektra asked in her sweet little voice watching the water droplets on the windows as they all silently ate their waffles and fruit, most with tears in their eyes if not running down their face.

"Yeah Baby, I think so." Nadia struggled to hold in her sob cupping her daughter's cheeks.

"Does he miss Babushka, too?" Elektra asked with sad big eyes bringing rampant floods of tears to everyone's eyes with her innocence.

"I think he cries for us…" Nadia sniffled wiping at her eyes while she struggled through her explanation to her daughter when she didn't understand it herself, "Because he knows we're sad about Babushka going away to Heaven…He knows we're really going to miss her."

"Can we call her on the phone like when we're in Greece and we miss her a whole bunch." She asked with eyes brightening at the possibility and Nadia failed this time to rein in her sob with face contorting and Nikolas pulled her back to him, wrapping his arms around her and whispering into her ear knowing how devastated she was to lose her mother.

"No baby," Nikolas continued knowing his wife wasn't going to be able to, "We can't call Babushka on the phone in Heaven…I wish we could but we can't."

"But we're going to see Babushka today aren't we?" Elektra asked more confused then ever.

"We're going to see Babushka today, yes…but only her body, Sweetheart…Babushka's soul is already in Heaven." Nadia tried to continue knowing how confusing it was for her little girl. "She's with Uncle Jack in Heaven now…and her Mama and Daddy-"

"And Uncle Antony and Cousin Antony." Elektra piped up knowing they were in heaven too and Lena inhaled a sob thinking about her mother with her son and Antony now, the thought as comforting as it was gut wrenching.

"Yes, Sweetie." Nadia nodded softly with eyes flashing to Lena.

"Can I give Babushka a kiss, Mama and tell her I'll miss her very much?" Elektra asked several dropped their silverware to cover their mouths and the heartbreaking sobs that were escaping with her request in her sweet little voice.

"If you want to, Baby…Mama's going to." Nadia cried knowing she was going to break down upon first seeing her mother dead for the first time.

* * *

**_*Kissing You (instrumental.)*_**

Jack was the first to go into the massive throne room guarded by four soldiers from the different military branches all posted at the corners of where Irina was Lying in State. The room was dark with only a soft light shining down on her from above illuminating her gorgeous form whose beauty would not be stolen even in death. Jack released the soldiers from their posts to spend some time alone with his wife and the men nodded at him with tears in their eyes before silently marching in formation out of the room.

"Hello Beautiful," He greeted her coming stand beside her and looking her over. She was dressed in a gorgeous gown of silver and white with her blue Imperial sash crossing over body and the rest of her Imperial regalia in place the picture perfect of perfection if not for the fact she was not sleeping. She wore no elaborate jewelry though, only her most treasured piece, her mother's locket glittering with colors with the magnitude of stones that had been taken to the jewelers before given to the mortuary so that Irina II's stone could be added as the final one.

"I can't say goodbye to you, My Love," Jack cried softly touching her hand that felt like ice, "I've never been able to say goodbye to you…you were never supposed to leave me again…you promised." He cried, "Forever and always, Irina…we were supposed to be growing old together…I can't live without you."

'_You have to.'_ The voice in his heart responded and he inhaled sharply choking on his tears to hear her voice. _'They need you, Jack.'_

"They need _'you._" He cried with a shaking breath trying to hold back his sob and failing, "I need you."

_'I'm always here with you.'_ She answered in the beat of his heart.

"I want to be there with you." He cried resting his forehead against hers.

_'Not yet, Jack…its not your time…they need you.'_ She answered again. _'I'll always be here…forever and always…I'll be waiting…but they need you now.' _

"I can't do this by myself…I failed miserably last time without you." He cried shaking his head and wiping at his tears so they didn't fall onto her flawless skin.

_'I'll help you.'_ His heart thundered again with her voice, _'I'm always here…we can always speak to each other…what is my heart saying right now.'_ She asked and he remembered a similar conversation between she and Lena on the moon when the distance separating them seemed impossible to cross.

"That you love me and will never leave me," he cried and sucked in a soft sob.

_'I'll never leave you, My Love._' She answered, _'You are the other half to my soul and you have my heart with you…I love you, Jonathan…forever and always.' _

"Forever and always, I love you, Irina." He whispered with eyes closed choking back a sob and trying to calm himself as he slowly leaned over and kissed her lips, "I love you…and I'll find you…wherever you are, I promise I will find you." He kissed her again and then stepped back, taking in her illuminated form once more before turning on his heel knowing his children were waiting to say goodbye to their mother.

* * *

**_*You Raise Me Up*_**

Julian and Nicholas decided to go together as her sons with the girls needing a few more minutes to prepare themselves and the brothers held hands walking in and seeing her for the first time, both breaking into instant tears as they separated to stand on each side of her and see her for the first time.

"Oh God," Nicholas started sobbing covering his eyes when it suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks seeing her body that she was really dead and dropped his head beside hers to cry, "Why? I don't understand?" He shook his head sniffling with each sob, "Mama…" He cried unable to say anything but cry and felt Julian's hand on the back of his neck comforting him though he was a mess himself.

In all the times he'd witnessed her near deaths in his life, he'd come to believe that she was almost indestructible, that she could never really be gone and now that she was and he was staring down at her lifeless form he felt his heart being ripped out and stomped on.

"You were my everything," Julian whispered with dripping tears, "You saved my life in more ways than one…thank you, Mama." He gasped with a cry unable to hold back and be strong anymore, "I love you with everything that I am, Mama…and even though you weren't my biological mother, you gave me life…I had nothing before you…I love you, Mama…I love you…" He leaned over and kissed her lips the same way his father had and cried unable to take it anymore and stepped back into the shadows to wait for his brother not wanting him to have to go it alone.

"I can't imagine life without you, Mama…I need you so much," Nicholas cried sniffling back a sob and wiping desperately at his eyes, "I can't say goodbye to you…I don't know how…how do you say goodbye to your heart…" he cried again with his hand going over his heart feeling it pound beneath and the instantaneous bolt of 'I love you' and 'I'm here' shot through him and his eyes flashed up to Julian's seeing his brother's eyes were wide having felt it too.

"I love you with every beat of my heart, Mama…every beat…and I promise you, Dmi will remember you." He cried thinking about his son who was too little to understand where babushka had gone and why everyone was so sad at only two and a half years old. The image of his mother coloring with his son with sidewalk chalk just days ago in the driveway at Alexander flashed through his mind seeing their mutual smiles and hearing their laughter and he choked back a sob. "I love you, Mama…to the moon and back, more then the stars in the heaven's and grains of sand on earth, forever and always, I love you." He whispered to her and kissed her goodbye.

He and Julian walked out together with both glancing once more over their shoulders and streaming tears hugging their wives tightly while their sisters went in holding hands, Sydney in the middle holding Nadia's hand on one side and Lena's on the other.

**_*Goodbyes*_**

They all started sobbing seeing her for the first time and Lena gasped with a loud cry and knees weakening about to give out when Sydney caught her holding her to her tightly and crying with her. The scream of a cry that erupted from inside her echoed out into the waiting room where the others waited and they knew she was tortured over the fact that Irina died to save her life.

"Why Mama, why?" She cried seeing her mother's lifeless form and screaming in pain and anger and legs shook again sliding further down Sydney until Nadia helped hold her up and the three were holding onto each other tightly each lost in their own flood of memories with her.

Sydney sobbed thinking about how much time was lost with her mother that they were supposed to have the rest of their lives together to make up for but now they'd both been robbed of at least another thirty years. She hadn't gotten to know her mother until she was twenty-six and holding Lena now in her arms who was almost twenty-six, she realized that her sisters had the same amount of time with their mother, just reversed.

Where Sydney had gotten to know her as an adult and gone through the birth and growth of her own children and having grandchildren, her sisters had the childhood and adolescents and early twenties with their mother that she never had, but now, faced the rest of their adult lives without her.

Lena could barely stand about to hyperventilate and pulled out of Sydney's arms flopping down over her mother's body with chest pressed to chest and face buried in her neck sobbing when she felt nothing answering her heart's loud pounding as her mothers' chest remained silent with no thundering beat Lena had known all her life. A heart that had been silenced by a bullet meant for her and one in which her mother voluntarily stepped in front of and the image replayed over and over in her mind now draped over her crying and feeling the weight of Nadia draped over her in turn and Sydney over the both of them as they all cried. Their large thundering hearts were beating wildly against each other while cried and soon were all in sync beating through each others' chests with a loud singular pound and together, their beating hearts sounded like their mothers.

They each sobbed kissing her goodbye and then leaving the room all holding each other and barely able to walk overcome with so much emotion and meeting their brothers all clinging to each other for several moments as they cried and the scene broke everyone's hearts waiting for their turns and especially their fathers who knew how much they loved her and she them…they were the pieces of her heart she had left him with and the tiny baby now snuggled against his chest was the final piece.

Together they all made up Irina's heart and he had to find a way to keep them all going and get them through this most devastating loss. Usually it was Irina who had been the one to get them through, lead them out of the darkness but she was gone and that was why they were now drowning in their grief and Irina had left it up to him to start leading them out when all he wanted to do was curl up in a dark corner and die to be with her.

**_*Walkaway*_**

Katya had been the next to go in and went alone as she wanted some private time with her sister to say goodbye and like the others, burst into instant flooding tears to see Irina laid out on the viewing table with the soft heavenly-like light illuminating her gorgeous form. She did look like she was sleeping and Katya sobbed bending over and pressing their foreheads together to cry silently and without words for all that had been between them and all that was lost that was still to come.

"You saved my life…allowed me the chance to see my grandchildren grow up and become parents themselves," she cried, "You never even got to see your last grandchild though I know, you know, who she is." She smiled through incessant tears, "I made a promise to you once that your daughter would know you when we thought we were going to lose you before…I'm making that promise again sister…your grandbabies will know you." She sobbed wiping at her eyes, "I'll take of your children…and I'll look after Jack." She smiled with another sob knowing how utterly lost he was without Irina and seeing the hollowness in his eyes with the light leaving when Irina did.

"We will see each other again someday, Sister…and until then, know that I love you and I'll carry you with me forever in my heart…give Mama a kiss for me please." She smiled speaking in a whisper staring down at Irina and then kissing her forehead, each eye, cheek and finally mouth, twice before reluctantly letting go and spinning rapidly on her heel moving quickly away knowing she was about to break down and start sobbing hysterically if she didn't leave.

**_*Tania*_**

The guards returned to their posts when the last of the family and friends had said their goodbyes and the velvet ropes were put up to keep a safe distance between Irina and those wishing to pay their respects. When the doors were opened and the people slowly and most sobbing silently and some loudly began passing by in single file lines, Jack wandered back to the enormous glass windows at the back of the palace with the baby in his arms and heard Irina's voice looking out over the gorgeous gardens remembering the first time she had brought him here saying, _'Peterhof is called the place of dreams._' They had lived out so many of the dreams she had wished for but there were still so many more he wanted to give her…

Because of the massive magnitude of visitors, most of who had waited days and nights in the rain outside to pay their respects, there was no way that all of them would be able to get through in the five days of Irina Lying in State with the scheduled hours of 6 A.M. to midnight. Jack ordered that the line continue with no six hour breaks so that everyone who wanted to, could say goodbye knowing Irina wouldn't like it if her people were turned away after waiting so long in the elements. So just as he'd done before whenever the public held vigils of prayer for them all hours of the night and day in the elements, Jack, on behalf of the family, had coffee, juice, tea and sandwiches along with blankets for the night distributed to those who were waiting so patiently and respectfully in the line that was literally 'days' long and numbering in the millions with a million passing by each day at the rate of around 42,000 an hour twenty-four hours a day filing non-stop past Irina in two lines with one on each side of her in the gargantuan room in the most insane and yet well organized and quick moving succession of human bodies.

"Jack…we have the shooter." Vladimir came to the palace that night to speak to jack knowing he was staying at Peterhof unwilling to leave Irina at all right now.

Jack's head turned in a flash to where Vladimir had sat down making it his personal mission to find out who the assassin was who'd killed his life-long friend and tsar.

"He turned himself in…I guess he went through here earlier today," He swallowed hard seeing Jack's eyes widened and flash with rage that the man who took his wife's life would then dare come through the line to 'pay respect.'

"The bastard was here?" Jack was fuming with rage wanting to kill the man with his bare hands.

"Yes, and he turned himself in just after leaving…he said he never intended to kill Irina-"

"Just my daughter and unborn grandchild!" Jack cut him off pacing and about to explode.

"Yes. Jack, he's Schizophrenic…he was a former assassin in the KGB with Irina in _SMERSH_-"

"What? This guy knew her?" Jack was flabbergasted and appalled.

"Yes, just listen to me for a minute... I know this isn't easy to hear… " Vladimir spoke quietly with great emotion held back so close to Irina, "That's why he turned himself in, he's so horrified by what he's done…he went off his meds and was hell bent on revenge in his delusions…wanting to take her beloved child and grandchild in Lena and the baby as his were taken from him."

"What are you talking about?"

"His pregnant daughter and his grandchildren were killed Beslan." He spoke quietly with tears in his eyes at this terribly sad situation and jack sat hard on the sofa beside him with a blanket of new horror crossing his features, "The rage and delusional side of him blamed Irina for their deaths…he wanted her to suffer the loss of her child and grandchild as he had…but only when he was off his medication…he loved her and respected her greatly under his normal personality but the 'voices in his head' told him to kill Lena…his rational side would never harm anyone but so many years of killing on orders in the KGB and then being told to lock them up and throw away the key to his emotions eventually split his personality so he could handle the stress…the death of his only child and grandchildren pushed him that much further over the edge." He swallowed hard paying no attention to the tears in his eyes seeing flashes of Irina before his eyes. "His wife was with him when he came in…he confessed everything to her after they came home from paying respects to Irina and came right in…they both know that the punishment for murdering a member of the imperial family is death but he's beside himself wanting absolution for his crime before he dies."

"Absolution from who?" Jack asked with a quiet voice of exhaustion and disbelief as he scrubbed his hand over his face

"From Lena…the one he was trying to kill and the next Tsar who will ultimately decide his fate." Vladimir answered quietly and then sat in silence for a moment with Jack who was staring at the floor and rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

"She can't deal with him right now and I can't say that I can either." Jack sighed heavily wanting so badly to tear the man to shreds and to make him pay insufferable amounts but from the sounds of it, he already had in his lifetime and Irina's death was the result.

"I just wanted to tell you…I know you have enough to deal with right now…he's being held in the psychiatric ward of the prison receiving treatment right now and we'll hold him there until his sentencing hearing which won't be for some time with everything that's going on right now." Vladimir reached over placing a comforting hand on Jack's knee getting his attention, "I'm sorry for your loss, Jack…I can only imagine how hard this is for you because I'm struggling to get through the day and she was only my great friend…not the love of my life and partner in it." His eyes flushed with tears, "You made her happy everyday you were in her life…the difference between night and day." He smiled thinking about the change in Irina after Jack had come back into her life. "Let me know if I can do anything for you or the family."

"Thank you, Vladimir…you saved her life once…and gave us another twenty-five years together…our second chance…I will never be able to thank you for that." Jack clasped his hand with his own burning tears.

"You've already thanked me countless times over the years, the both of you, and none of them were necessary…" Vladimir shook his head softly.

"You meant a great deal to her." Jack smiled softly blinking back his tears as he walked him out.

"I know." Vladimir smiled, "That was one of the things I loved most about Rina…was that she always told everyone exactly how she felt about them and never took her second chance at life for granted. I am greatly honored to have shared so much of my life with her as my friend." He bowed slightly extending his hand, "And you my friend, please let me know if I can do anything further to help in anyway I can."

"Thank you, Vladimir." Jack spoke softly with a nod, "Because you meant so much to Irina all of these years…I wanted to ask you, if you would like to give her Eulogy." He asked with a choked voice in disbelief he had to even ask such a question not wanting to believe she was really gone.

"Jack…" Vladimir stood taller with a tear-filled smiled, "Your Highness, if would be my greatest honor."

* * *

**_*Gymnopedie No. 3*_**

The five days flew by with so much to be done and all of them walking around trance like and numb with a majority of the family making the effort in their own grief, to go out in the rain and meet with the people in the lines wishing to pay their respects and taking the offered flowers, notes and cards from the teary-eyed citizens from not only Russia but the world who were sharing in their grief with Irina's loss.

The only family members not venturing out into the public to share in the grief of the nation were Jack who stayed inside by Irina's side and Lena who had just given birth and almost assassinated of which the public was greatly understanding with their absences.

Only one photo from the hospital had been released of Irina II. and everyone was clamoring for another, looking for the bright light in this sea of darkness and something to hang onto and the tiny ball of love, their new Tsarevicha, seemed to be it and so, Lena obliged in her own numbed state by releasing an Official Birth Announcement the day before her mother's funeral which everyone seemed to be grateful for knowing they'd need something to hold onto as officially saying goodbye for the final time to _'Irina the Great'_ was going to be devastating.

The photograph was taken with Irina II. asleep in the soft old hands that had brought her into the world and her grandmother. Irina had been Alexei's first baby he had ever delivered and Irina II. would be the last and he swore they were the same.

They all gasped with the image's release at how tiny, yet perfect she was and expected nothing less as the grandchild of _'Irina The Great.'_ Their tiny new Tsarevicha became the promise of a future for them and their beloved Imperial Russia.

* * *

**_*Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet #2*_**

The morning of the funeral had finally arrived and bringing with it, the sun again. The sides of Irina's casket were brought up and latched closed with a gorgeous array of flowers spread over the flag and the Imperial Seal of the Romanovs draped over the casket before being hoisted onto the shoulders of those who would carry her to the horse drawn caisson.

Everyone had raging tears in their eyes seeing the eight young men all wearing the same Imperial Uniforms with arms draped over each other marching toward them with perfect precision down the steps of Peterhof with Irina's casket balanced over their linked arms and shoulders.

Nicholas and Jaxx were paired in the front, Felix and Alexei just behind them, Konstantin, Gustav after and then Mitchell and Roman. All of them had endless silent tears streaming from their eyes as they stood proudly and carefully walked forward sliding the casket onto the white caisson and then shifting with military meticulousness to walk in the same two columns just behind and to the sides of the cart.

Behind them in the Imperial Coach rode Lena with her baby sleeping snuggly against her chest and Katya holding her hand by her side, followed by Arman and Marcelo on horses as Officers in Her Majesty's Imperial Life-Guards. Sydney, and Nadia were in the coach behind them with Vaughn and Nikolas following and Isabella and Ash followed just after with Sophia and Madeleine just behind them before being followed by Weiss and Sergei on horseback. The line of alternates continued with the rest of the Imperial Family with Anya and her babies, Eva, Lara, Ria with Rhett, Isolde, Mia with Alix, Tora, Elektra with Ryan and Rurik following their portion on horses before Mikhail and Bella and Alexei and Dmitri, as Irina's fathers, brought up the end.

Julian mounted on his white stead was in front and led Irina's gorgeous jet-black stallion, Sultan, beside him as the Rider-Less Horse and symbol of loss and mourning. Jack led the way on the other side with little Dmi sitting on the saddle in front of him wearing his own tiny Imperial Uniform and hanging on tightly when they set off with the loud bells tolling in St. Petersburg and Moscow on the long march from Peterhof towards St. Isaacs in a long solemn formation passing the millions of people lining the streets and throwing roses at Irina's white casket as the caisson passed with the entire route from the palace to the cathedral and Irina's final resting place already lined with bright red rose petals

The funeral was so large that the gardens in Peterhof as well as the Square in front of the Winter Palace, the Red Square in Moscow and several other places around Russia had set up massive movie theatre size screens to show the LIVE broadcast circulating the globe on the television of the precession and funeral to the millions more who couldn't get close enough to see them pass by live.

Normally on Imperial parade routes the citizens were cheering loudly in a deafening roar and on this tragic day, and for the first time, silence reigned with only the sound of weeping and sobs breaking through as they passed. The young men walking behind her caisson all had their heads hung low staring at the ground with arms straight at their sides and white gloved hands curled into fists while their tears dripped from their chins.

When they stopped in front of the steps of St. Isaacs baby Irina began to cry loudly only adding to the others now sobbing at being back at the spot, looking at the same steps that Irina had spoken her last words to them on after being shot. The sound of the baby crying uncontrollably seemed symbolic to those gathered in the crowds as her little heart was weeping for her namesake. They waited in formation until those who were outside took their seats quietly inside and then the boys once again marched forward on Nicholas's crisp commands to slid the casket out again and onto their shoulders to be taken inside.

Walking up the steps over the sight she had fallen to her knees they held back their sobs moving forward into the church with the rest of the family led by Jack with Lena on his arm and holding the baby in his other, now quiet and asleep again sucking on her pacifier. They shuffled slowly up the long aisle towards the front of the cathedral and slid into their seats in the front pews while the eight young men in red with Irina's casket on their shoulders stood motionless waiting for them to be seated.

Once everyone was settled, they slowly slid the casket horizontally facing the massive crowd gathered inside onto the marble stand and stepped back marching back to their reserved space at the end of the pew as four more soldiers, one from each branch of military, stepped forward and in sync removed the latches and lid setting the flowers aside and lowered the sides of the casket once more exposing Irina and everyone began to cry harder again. Just behind her body lying so still were the various enlarged pictures of her on isles taken over the span of her life from infancy until the last official portrait of her bringing a mass of cries to see her looking so full of life in them while her body lay on display before them.

**_*Twilight and Mist *_**

The Orthodox priests began the traditional funeral service and when they were finished, Vladimir stood with tears streaming down his eyes as he walked towards the podium to give the eulogy.

"We gather in this great cathedral to mourn and to give thanks. It is a fitting place to do so, a place where the story of our nation and the story of the woman we now commend to her Heavenly Father are intertwined.

It was here that Irina Nicholaevna Alexandra Dmitrievna Romanova Derevkova Bristowova was crowned as the Tsar of Imperial Russia on May 15th, 2003; it was here that she attended the weddings of her children and grandchildren and their baptisms and coronations into the Imperial Family. And it was here that on the 25th Anniversary celebrating her magnificent reign on May 15th, 2028 that she stepped in front of a bullet's path to save the life of her daughter and unborn grandchild…and lost her own." He held back a cry with a pause, "It is fitting, then, that a place that stood at the centre of her life should now be the place where we honor her passing and celebrate her life.

In the eight days since she left us, there have been countless tributes and expressions of affection and respect - including those of the many people who waited in the seemingly endless line in the harsh rain and filed patiently past her coffin Lying-in-State.

If there is one verse of scripture which captures Irina best, it is perhaps the description of a gracious woman in the final chapter of the book of Proverbs. It says: _'Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come._'

Strength, dignity and laughter - three great gifts which we honor and celebrate today.

The Tsar's strength as a person was expressed best through the remarkable quality of her dealings with people - her ability to make all human encounters, however fleeting, feel both special and personal.

As her Prime Minister, I can vouch for her strength. Something of it is reflected in the fact that for a quarter of a century we knew her and understood her as Mother Russia. It is a title whose resonance lies less in its official status than in expressing one of the most fundamental of all roles and relationships - that of simply being a Mother, a Mama, a Babushka, our Mother Russia.

For her family, that maternal strength - given across the generations to children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren - has been a precious gift and blessing. It's loss is felt keenly today. And as they grieve, we say to the Emperor Consort Jack…to the Grand Duchess Katya, her sister…to Alexei and Dmitri as the fathers who raised her…to Sydney, Julian, Lena, Nicholas and Nadia as her children… to Anya, Eva, Jaxx, Ria, Alexei, Isolde, Lara, Elektra, Dmitri and Irina as her grandchildren…and to Iribella, Maxim and Rhett her great-grandchildren: you are in our thoughts and cradled in our prayers and those of countless millions round the world." He looked at each of them as he spoke their names.

"Sydney, Julian, Lena, Nicholas, and Nadia… we all care desperately for you today. We are all torn up with the sadness at the loss of a woman who was not even our mother. How great your suffering is, we cannot even imagine. She told me often on those trips away to Moscow and around the world when she was missing you dearly, that her greatest joy in life was being your mother." His tears surged giving them a smile and remembering Irina's eyes lighting up whenever she spoke of her children.

"I have the honor of speaking to you today here in the vastness of the grand St. Isaacs Cathedral. I do this in two capacities. One is that I, Prime Minister of Imperial Russia, and therefore speak on behalf of a remarkable world organization which owes more that it can ever express to our departed leader, Her Majesty, our Empress, our Tsar… _Irina the Great_. My second capacity is more personal and more intimate. I am sure that you, most of you, have thought about Her Majesty Empress Irina a great deal, and with warmth in your hearts and in your recollections.

Some day, some year, there will be old men and women whose pride it will be to say:_ 'I lived in the time of 'Irina the Great_.' Some will be able to say: _'I saw her, and I heard her - the unforgettable voice and the immortal words'._ And some will be able to say: _'I knew her, and talked with her, and was her friend.'_ This I can, with a mixture of pride and humility, say for myself. The memory of this moves me deeply now that she is dead, but is gloriously remembered by me as she goes to her burial amid the sorrow, and pride, and thanks, of all of you who stand and feel for yourselves and for so many millions.

The very first time I spoke with Irina about taking control of the flailing nation was in the traumatic and daunting circumstances of the fall of the Soviet Union. Our conversation that evening gives a further insight into the source of her strength. She told me: _'I can hardly believe that I've been called to this tremendous task... and the interesting thing is, I am not afraid.' _

With her openness to people, indeed as part of it, came a quiet courage. A courage manifest in wartime, and in prison, in isolation from her family and everyone she loved… a courage that endured to the end.

Strength, dignity and laughter.

There was certainly nothing remote or distant about her own sense of dignity. Her smile, her wave, the characteristic tilt of her head and eyebrow: all made the point immediately and beyond words. It was a dignity that rested not on the splendid trappings of royalty, but on a sense of the nobility of service. An unfailing sense of service and duty made it so. It was a commitment nourished by the Tsar's faith. A faith that told her, as it tells us all, that even the Son of God came into the world as a servant, not as a master.

Until that fateful moment on May 15th, Irina was the gorgeous Russian Tsar, known to every family in the country and around the world, and suddenly she was gone, shot dead on these very steps…Everyone was asking: _'Why?'_ There was once a time that Tsar had a great many enemies who had hunted her as she them but in the last twenty-five years of her life, she was seen for the woman she really was…a woman who possessed the world's largest heart that was overflowing with love and hope for us all. Why should this happen to her now?

I have no easy answer to that question, but I remember a young man, when he was hanging to die on a Cross. And he cried out: _'Why? My God, my God, Why hast Thou forsaken me?' _

There came no sudden voice from heaven, no sudden insight. Darkness came to all of us. Only the noonday sun turned to darkness. He was the light of the world but he was also just a man…a man whose life and death changed the world and the way people lived it. His life and death had meaning and purpose. He gave his life so that others may live…

Irina too, once hung from a cross, punished for the crimes of her heart and she cried out with the anguish inside, _'Why God why…'_ not understanding what she had done to deserve such torture when she had done the right thing. But her life, as with another young man's, in time became the light of the world when she became Tsar…but she was also just a woman…a woman whose life and death changed the world and the way people lived it. Her life and death have meaning and purpose…she gave her life so that others may live…her daughter and her grandchild." His eyes flashed to Lena and the baby in her arms while she cried silently with raging tears.

"_There is no greater love than this. There is no greater gift that can be given than to be willing to die, so another might live…there is no greater love than this.'_ Irina was not a saint and she would openly tell you she had committed far too many sins in her life for which she sought absolution. She made mistakes, she learned from them. This is why we loved her so…because underneath all the Imperial Regalia and the extravagance…_she was human_, she was like us. She had emotions and weaknesses, strengths and loves…she bared her entire life and soul for the world to see with a courage I had never before, to help others…She made us want to strive for more in our lives and showed us anything, really was possible.

When the Tsar was shot, a lively, loving and gorgeous light was extinguished, and darkness came to us all.

On May 15th, 2003, Irina was re-baptized in her coronation ceremony to become the Tsar of Imperial Russia. It was a public proclamation of her faith and commitment to her god and country. Her anointment with the holy oils symbolized being buried with Christ and leaving behind the past and her rising to her feet after symbolized being raised with Christ, sharing His resurrection. I believe that what was symbolized in 2003 has now, in 2028, become reality.

Hundreds of thousands of words have been published, and hundreds of thousands more have been spoken into the microphones of television and the radios of the world since _Irina the Great_ was struck down on the steps of this great cathedral just days ago but none of them were really adequate. Words never are in the face of senseless tragedy.

Words cannot describe how the Russian people felt when they lost their Tsar. Not until the vacuum of disbelief was filled with the horror of comprehension did any of us realize how much we identified ourselves, even apart from personal friendship, with the Tsar- this intellectual, vigorous young woman - and she was that even at seventy-three - expressing the very essence of the youthfulness of our nation. The feeling of loss - that personal sense of emptiness - that all Russians feel because their Tsar was cut off in the prime of her life. As a nation, we have lost a Tsar who understood the institution of the monarchy, gloried in its overwhelming responsibilities, and discharged her duties with dash and joy, which were an inspiration to the youth of our nation.

But _Irina the Great_ was more than that. She was a woman filled with the joy of living. She was a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, a godmother- and my friend.

Strength, dignity and, yes, laughter.

We come here to mourn but also to give thanks, to celebrate the person and her life - both filled with such a rich sense of fun and joy and the music of laughter. With it went an immense vitality that did not fail her. Of course, the laughter of the book of Proverbs goes deeper than a good joke or a witty reply. _'She laughs at the time to come'_: such laughter reflects an attitude of confident hope in the face of adversity and the unpredictable challenges of life. Of this laughter too, empress Irina knew a great deal. It was rooted in the depth and simplicity of her abiding faith that this life is to be lived to the full as a preparation for the next

Strength, dignity, laughter –

Qualities that clothed her life so richly…Qualities that with her passing, we too - by the grace of God - may seek to put on afresh, in our own lives and the life of our nation and world. Let that be part of her legacy, part of our tribute.

The book of Proverbs has more to say about a gracious woman; words we can summon now as we commend to her Heavenly Father his faithful servant Irina… Tsarina, Empress, Mother Russia- deeply loved and greatly missed. It simply says of a woman of grace: _'Many have done excellently, but you exceed them all.' _

There are two other things I want to say to you, on a day which neither you nor I will ever willingly forget. One is that _Irina the Great_ was not an institution, but a woman; a woman of wit and chuckling humor, and penetrating understanding, not a woman who spoke to us as from the mountain tops, but one who expressed the simple and enduring feelings of ordinary men and women. It was because she was a great Russian that she was able to speak for the Russian people. It was because she was a great Tsar that she was able to warm hearts and inspire courage all around the seven seas. It was because she was a great human being that, in our darkest days, she lit the lamps of hope at many firesides and released so many from the chains of despair. There has been nobody like her in our lifetimes. We must, and do, thank God for her, and strive to be worthy of her example.

The second thing I will never forget is this. _Irina the Great's_ husband, his Imperial Highness is with us here, a great and gracious man in his own right. Could I today send him your love, and mine? He has suffered an irreparable personal loss...the other half of his soul with the loss of his beloved wife. One half of the _Greatest Love Story_ ever lived and will ever be told. But he has proud and enduring memories. Happy memories, I venture to say. We share his sorrow, but I know that he would wish us to share with him those rich remembrances, which the thought of the great woman evokes.

There have been, in the course of recorded history, some men and women of power who have cast shadows across the world. _Irina the Great_, on the contrary, was a fountain of light and of hope.

As I end my talk to you from the Cathedral of St. Isaacs, the body of _Irina the Great_ goes in procession through the streets of St. Petersburg; her St. Petersburg, our St. Petersburg, this most historic city, this ancient home of freedom and Imperial Majesty, this place through which, in the very devastation and fire of wars, revolution and reform, her voice rang with courage, and defiance, and hope, and rugged confidence. Her body will be laid to rest in St. Peter and Paul's Cathedral, a cathedral full of history. With one heart we all feel, with one mind we all acknowledge, that it will never have borne a more precious burden, or been enriched by more splendid memories." When he finished and nodded towards the family with his respects and tears.

**_*Glasgow Love Theme*_**

Sydney stood to give her own brief eulogy to the mother she had known, loved and lost again.

"Thomas Mann once said that '_a man's dying is more the survivors affair than his own.'_ And that is true." She began pausing to hold back her tears with her voice thick with emotion, "We are in pain and suffer with her loss but my mother knows no pain or suffering. She is now at peace and happy with those who have passed on before her, those whom I'm certain are jubilant at her arrival on the other side…" she smiled softly through her tears at the thought, "Especially my brother Jack, as he is now getting a chance to have the mother that we all knew and loved so dearly. Now is their chance to be together." She cry softly with a smile and took a ragged breath, "My mother was always an amazing mother, even if I didn't understand her or her methods at times…but I learned without a shadow of doubt the great depths of love she had for me and the lengths she would go to in order to keep me and all my siblings safe…her final act in this world was proof of that. She always told us that we were the pieces of her heart living outside of her body and that when something good or bad happened to us, she felt it with the same intensity. She also said that she could never live with losing another child…what she did was the ultimate act of love that I want to hate her for and thank her for all at the same time…She saved my sister and niece but willingly lost her own life. If life let us choose our fates and destiny I would chose that no one had to die that day…" She held back a sob with contorting face, "I was blessed over the last twenty-five years to get to know my mother as an adult, as a woman and as her child. At times, we combined them all…I could talk to my mother about anything and for long hours and we'd normally have these very adult womanly conversations while snuggled together on her bed…that I was now an adult with grandchildren of my own made no difference as she was always my _mommy_ and I was always her child, that dynamic never changed.

My mother had unique and special relationships with all of her children and she was notorious for writing things into her journals and yesterday as I was looking at them, I read several things taking note of special days in which she spoke of her love and used quotes to express how much we all meant to her and her thoughts on life and death…the conversations we'd each had with her that she thought memorable enough to write down to remember forever.

One night while I was lying in bed with my mother and pregnant with my first child, my daughter Anya, my mother was also pregnant with my brother Nicholas and sister Nadia…it was an amazing experience we shared together and our conversation that night was the first time that she had described what it was like in having children and new grandchildren with them as extension of her heart…in her journal recounting that evening she wrote one of her favorite quotes by Charlotte Gray, '_Children and mother's never truly part, bound in the beating of each others' heart."_ She cried with hand fisting over her chest and heart drawing strength from it to go on,

"Looking back in her journal entry from after the first premiere of the second film where she first encountered my brother Julian and started what became their own unique relationships, my mother wrote,

_'Julian was the oxygen breathing life into the ashes of my heart and keeping the embers from growing cold.'_ And just after wrote, _'I couldn't love him more if he came from my own body."_ Her eyes flashed to her brother who was crying and trying to hold back a sob.

"In another journal from years ago after my mother gave birth to my sister Lena and came home to us again, she wrote, '_Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you…Before you were here an hour…I would die for you…This is the miracle of life."_

Sydney cried looking up at her sister and seeing her sobbing as what their mother vowed to die for her had come true.

"A few years ago she wrote of a conversation she had with my brother Nicholas when walking one night in the winter snow about the loss of his best friend, grief and both of their thoughts on passing on. She had told him that she '_would not be sad at her death for in that moment that her world was ending a baby somewhere in the world would be born and was starting a new_." She inhaled a sob looking at her niece sound asleep against her sister's chest, "She couldn't have possibly known that the baby being born into the world at the moment of her death was her own grandchild…but in that, I can see her smiling. My mother went on to say how extremely proud she was of her son and the man that he had become, so wise for his young age and with such a tender heart he brought tears to her eyes with every smile. She wrote that no matter how old he got, he would always be her '_Cowboy'_ her '_Little Man'_ and _'one of the greatest loves of her life._' In the journal entry recounting my sister Nadia's engagement to the Prince of Greece, my mother wrote, _'My heart is so filled with love and happiness right now I think it may explode. My beautiful baby girl is getting her happily ever after and with the love of her life in Nikolas._ _She has the strongest heart of anyone I've ever known with the will and strength to get through anything, she amazes me everyday…she will be an excellent wife and partner, Queen of Greece and mother of the heir. She has always been my hope for the future and I know just as surely as I do that the sun will rise again tomorrow, my Nadia will change the world in her own unique way…she already has by simply being in it.'_

And of my father she had many things to say but in this simple statement she wrote after my father came back to her, I think she said it all, _'With some people saying and hearing 'I love you' can mean nothing…to others, everything. To hear Jack tell me, 'l love you' now after everything we've been through and use my name…feels like an atomic bomb of love exploding inside me each time I hear it consuming all my senses and tunneling my vision so that we are the only two people that exist in the world in that moment and time."_

Her eyes flashed up to her father's seeing him crying and holding Lena's hand while they all tried to make it through this and then dropped his eyes to Irina's body lying so beautiful and perfect before them.

"My mother's last words to us all as she tried to fight off death one more time…were, _'I love you_.' And that is what I'll remember and take with me forever and always." She finished crying and moved back to take her seat.

**_*Nessun Dorma (instrumental)*_**

A massive screen in the front of the cathedral rolled down as the music filled the space and the images of Irina in her personal life as daughter, sister, wife, mother and grandmother began to flash by in a gorgeous tribute of pictures and silent film clips.

These were the images that the world had never seen, the side of her that most never knew as they only saw her as the Imperial Russian Tsar but she was so much more then that and these images truly showed her humanity as everyone cried and sobbed watching her smiling face with her family in moments that looked like some of their own with her rocking newborn babies, building sandcastles, dancing her with her husband and daughter, playing in the rain and drawing with sidewalk chalk. There were images of her in the garden at Alexandra of her with Lena as a baby on the day she found out she was having twins, another showing her in the pool with raging smiles as she sat on top Vaughn's shoulder posing after playing chicken, the image of a very pregnant Irina sleeping with Sydney on her bed with heads pressed together having their first nap together in twenty-two years.

More images from Lena's birth, her wedding with Jack, walking in the gardens with Katya as a child and then as adults. Her entire life from infancy all the way through was documented and shown being broadcast around the world and leaving them all breathless as the last of the images shown with the very last image shown being irina in the hammock in Fiji smiling up at the photographer who was Jack when he took the photo of her covered in sleeping babes. Lena, Nadia, Nicholas, Jaxx, Mia, Ria, Antony, Isabella, Alexei, Felix, and Gustav all lay sprawled on and over her covering her everywhere from the shoulders down with her arms wrapped around as much of them as she could while they all slept like angels in various strange angles with arms and legs flopped here and there.

The slow pull back and fade out had them all in raging tears, especially her family before the video switched to images and clips of her Imperial life. It was also the last time, that her theme would be played and thus, brought everyone to their' feet as it always had in respect.

**_*PM's Love Theme'*_**

The film was like a documentary of audio clips, images, and video clips beginning with her acceptance at the press conference to become the Tsar and following her glorious reign all the way through to her last day smiling with pride and tears announcing Lena would be taking over in a years time as she stepped down.

There were gorgeous clips and images of her from the Coronation, and they sobbed watching as she sat on the throne for the first time and then smiled widely as she anointed her family and placed the tiny tiara crown on baby Lena's head earning a whispered, 'awe' from everyone as it went by and then onto clips and images of her with the children in the orphanages, with doctors of research, with foreign leaders and greeting her people from one end of Russia all the way to the other.

Images of her working from her office in the Kremlin, on board Imperial One, sitting on her throne as she did once a month listening to the everyday citizens about their wants and needs, of her at the Olympics in Moscow lighting the flame with her fiery arrow looking like a goddess and then placing the medals around the athletes necks.

On the sub in uniform and at massive balls in gorgeous gowns her life flew by marking the time and when it was all over the last image was of Irina the day she died sitting on her throne with her famous enormous smile in place and looking more regal than ever with _'Irina the Great'_ appearing before her in the subtitles and _May 15th, 2003 to May 15th, 2028_ marking her time of reign.

The all cried as it finished and the screen disappeared again with several sniffling and sobbing all over again to see Lena stand and pass the baby to her husband taking her fathers' arm in the first act of her new Imperial role.

**_*Honor Him*_**

Jack accepted the white folded satin clothes from the priest with a soft nod and tears streaming down his face and then turned back waiting for Lena as she began to remove the Imperial regalia from her mother.

First the scepter and then orb were placed on the table beside them and then Lena unclasped the order of St. Andrew and removed the sash. The robe was next and then her crown and Lena bit back a sob with face contorting as she carefully fixed her mother's locket against her chest and looked down at her once more before taking the Imperial white funeral cloth of satin from her father and the two of them draped it over Irina with the Romanov seal covering her from the chest down.

Lena couldn't stop the ragged inhale of a sob when she first bent over and pressed her lips to her mother's forehead and then lips again with a soft bow and then stepped back as her father stepped forward to kiss her mother one last time. They all watched as the tears fell from his face onto hers when he whispered something they couldn't hear into her ear and then stepped back to take Lena's hand and escort her back to their seats.

**_*Russian Orthodox Lord's Prayer*_**

The four soldiers once again marched forward and with new tears flooding their face as cries rang out from her family, they once again and for the final time, closed the sides of Irina's casket and replaced the lid, flag and flower arrangement while the choir sang the _Lord's Prayer_ in a traditional Russian Orthodox Chant. With their task completed, the four stepped back and turned with precision once more walking away. The priests walked around her casket a few times chanting and waving their incense finishing the funeral proceedings and then signaled to the young men in the front row.

They all stood at the same time and pivoted into line, breaking off into two once again and with Nicholas's soft commands through blinding tears, lifted his mother's casket to their shoulders once more and carefully turned. Pausing for a few moments waiting for the prayer to finish facing the back of the cathedral.

**_*I Will Come Back*_**

Slowly on Nicholas's command, they methodically slid their legs forward in the beautiful formation snapping their legs almost at the end in the pomp and circumstance of tradition and slowly carried her down the aisle and out of the cathedral followed immediately by Jack with Lena on his arm, Arman with the baby just behind them and then the rest of the family.

Once again Irina's casket was put back on the caisson to make her last journey to St. Peter and Paul's Cathedral where her body would be entombed with the rest of the Tsars of Imperial Russia for eternity. Slowly and with emotional and physical exhaustion they all mounted their horses and entered their carriages and the procession went on its way.

Jack stood off to the side with the rest of the Officers in her Majesty's Imperial Guard Unit while Irina's coffin once again passed by them and into St. Peter and Paul's once they arrived and all snapped to attention, saluting her as she passed one final time and everyone in the crowd gasped with new cries and tears at seeing little Dmitri all of two and a half years old, standing at attention, holding his grandfather Jack's hand and using the other to salute his Babushka as she went by like the others in line and the image broke their hearts that though he did not fully understand what was happening, he did understand in his quiet way that his Babushka was very special and deserved great respect seeing the rest of the male members of his family in her Guard Unit saluting her with streaming tears down their faces.

Katya wept instantly stepping inside cathedral and seeing a new tomb had already been placed next to her mother's for Irina with the lid off and waiting for her sister. She cried unable to hold back any longer as the eight young men carrying Irina slowly turned once at the front and lowered the casket into their hands and then on Nicholas's command side-stepped over the sides of the above ground tomb and then set the coffin on the straps that would lower it into the enormous marble enclosure.

They all stepped back in time again and pivoted though Nicholas remained facing the coffin and bent over, kissing the top and where Irina's face would be beneath it while tears ran endlessly from his eyes and then snapped to attention saluting her one last time and then pivoting into formation.

On his command they moved forward and away to stand aside while the four soldiers once again came forward and together, slowly lowered the casket into the tomb with the straps and then released them when it was inside. The two on the far side joined the other two and on command the big strong men slid the stone lid over the tomb and enclosed Irina's body inside.

Loud instantaneous cries erupted from her family at the finality of never seeing her again and the four soldiers resumed their guard positions after depositing the flowers that had covered the casket over the tomb lid. They would stay at those positions until her tomb was sealed and she was forever protected inside.

One by one, the members of her family passed by the tomb with all dropping a kiss and shedding tears onto the stone top saying goodbye once more before exiting the cathedral to climb back in their carriages and onto their horses.

Jack waited until they had all said their goodbyes before approaching and running his hand over the smooth surface, _"I'll find you, my love…forever and always."_ He whispered and then kissed the white marble.

* * *

**_*I Grieve*_**

"Sydney," Her father's voice broke her dreams with a gentle shaking of her shoulder. "It's time to go." He offered her his hand and then pulled her into his arms holding her for a few seconds needing the contact.

"Okay, I have to say goodbye to Katya…" Sydney slipped on her shoes when she pulled away from her father's embrace standing beside the couch where she had crashed after the funeral. "Where's Lena?" she looked around for her sister wondering if she had decided whether or not she was coming back to Los Angeles with them for a couple of days just to get away.

"With Sophia in the garden." Jack nodded in the direction of the window revealing the beautiful green and blossoming hedges that surrounded Alexander Palace this time of year, the smell of oleanders permeating the air and making everything smell heavenly.

The sun was shinning brightly and a warm breeze had moved in over the hours before twilight.

Sophia suddenly appeared in view of the window, the in her arms baby wrapped in a white satin blanket nestled in the crook of her arm contrasting sharply with the morbid black they were all still wearing.

Sophia was apparently talking to the baby and began pointing to a group of geese in the sky who'd just returned home a little late after a long winter away.

"I brought our bags down already." Jack informed Sydney. "Dmitri's pulling the car around front."

"Ok Dad," She smiled sadly making her way up the stairs to find her aunt and say goodbye.

She couldn't find her in her own room and knew where she would probably be…her mother's room.

"Katya," She tapped on the door stepping inside the massive room. Her aunt was standing by the window, picture frame clutched to her chest, watching the beautiful and tragic day coming to an end. "We're leaving." She spoke softly coming to stand beside her aunt.

Katya said nothing but continued to stare out the window.

"May I?" Sydney asked indicating the picture.

Katya's gaze held to the window as she passed the frame to Sydney. The frame contained two photos. The first was taken the day of the 'nap.' The photo that had awakened Irina and Sydney from their nap with bright flash in their eyes, as Katya stood over them with the camera; Irina and Sydney's heads were pressed together, holding hands sleeping, both with smiles on their faces.

The second, taken on the day Sydney left Russia to return to the US. She was standing behind her mother who was seated on the bench in the garden, in full bloom then and was again now…Sydney was bent over, hugging her mother from behind, both arms wrapped around her neck. Irina had one hand on Sydney's arm, the other over her very pregnant belly. The infectious Derevko smile raging across both faces…both pictures had been in the memorial earlier in the day.

"You know…" Katya spoke still staring out the window, "Even now, I still think that she has just gone away on one of her trips again…and that she'll be home soon," A stream of tears started making their way down her cheek, "And then I come in here and look out this window…and I am reminded that she _'is'_ home."

Sydney wrapped her arms around her aunt's shoulders, hugging her from behind as both their gazes fell onto Lena sitting alone on the bench staring out over the garden with her hair softly blowing in the breeze.

"I still can't let her go, Sydney…" Katya cried, "I want to walk into the kitchen in the morning and see her beautiful smile, or watch her bend into variously strange angles doing yoga in the garden while the summer breeze blows softly through her hair…or pick up the phone and hear her rant and rave over how much your father drives her nuts at times…" She laughed through the tears, as did Sydney.

They stood motionless, staring at Lena who was motionless as well below them.

"God, I miss her." Katya sighed looking at Irina's smiling face in the photo and Sydney froze suddenly and mouth fell open in a silent scream and raging tears looking back to the photographs in her aunts hands, where they were standing and their position, what her aunt had just said and her father before and how he'd woken her from the dream…her eyes flashing down to Sophia walking around with the baby pointing at the geese and back away from Katya rapidly spinning in a circle with a scream and cry.

"Sydney…Sweetheart?" Katya moved from the window instantly towards her niece with great concern watching Sydney go down on her knees. "What is it?"

"Its true…it came true." She wailed clinging to Katya with arms around her neck.

"What came true?" Katya asked and then realization flooded her remembering what had happened years before and gasped loudly, sobbing with Sydney.

"It was a premonition of things to come…some details changed…but it's all the same." Sydney wailed thinking about the baby Sophia was holding was not her sister but her sister's baby and it wasn't winter but summer and this time, it wasn't just a nightmare that her mother had died and they'd just come home from her funeral, this time, it was real and they had. "It came true…" she sobbed rocking with her aunt on the floor, "Oh God…" they held each other crying for a long time until both of their tears had lessened and sobs stifled and then heard Jack's voice.

"Sydney, It's time to go." He called out softly from downstairs with voice drifting up towards them.

She kissed her aunt. "I'll call you when we get to Los Angeles."

"Is Lena going with you…the baby and Arman?" Katya asked trying to wipe her eyes and with great concern flooding her for Lena seeing the shutdown happening all over again just after the funeral. The responsibility now resting on her shoulders was enormous, to take over as the Tsar a year before she was prepared to, without her mother by her side and now with a nation in the darkness of mourning.

"I don't know…I'll go talk to her." Sydney gave her one final hug goodbye before leaving her alone in the room to mourn in her own way.

"Dad…" Sydney spoke quietly to him seeing him waiting by the door, "Do you know if Lena is coming?" When he shook his head _no_, that he didn't know, "Okay…I'll be just a few minutes…I'm going to go talk to her…I don't want to leave her right now."

Jack nodded and watched her go, making her way out of the back of the palace towards the gardens.

**_*Prayer*_**

Lena was staring out into the garden watching the butterflies dance around the rose petals in their delicate dance while the sun slowly began to set on the horizon. Silent streams of tears continued to fall down her face and she paid them no attention anymore, a new permanent fixture to her face with their burning sting.

Sydney slid onto the bench next to her and took her hand into her own, sitting in silence with her a moment before Lena spoke.

"I don't know if I can do this. How do I follow in the footsteps of '_Irina the Great?_" Lena sobbed in a whisper turning her head to look at her sister with pleading eyes feeling like she was drowning and needing a life-raft… her mother had always been her life-raft.

"You listen to '_your heart_." Sydney cried with her, placing her palm over Lena's pounding heart, "And _she_ will guide you."

"Why Nee-Nee? Why did she have to step in front of me?" Lena cried with shame looking away and feeling horrible that her mother's death had been partially her fault.

"She died saving the _'light of her life._' The light that had saved hers." Sydney turned Lena's face back to hers' gently with fingertips to her chin knowing her sister felt guilty for their mother's choice. "She made the choice, Lena…the only one she could make…its not your fault…and it wasn't hers. She always said that I was her saving 'grace' and Nadia was her 'hope' for the future but you, you were always her 'light' Lena…guiding her back to life literally, at least three times…after Moscow, after her execution and when we were in Kashmir. You were the little ray of light and sunshine that spoke to her heart, as a piece of her heart and told her to keep going." She smiled softly through her tears her eyes flashed over and saw Sophia with baby Irina in the distance at the other end of the garden. "Just before her execution… I remember lying on Mom and Dad's bed with you, this tiny little ball of energy so new to the world…and thinking that maybe you were God's way of leaving behind a part of her for us …and you are. I can't look at you and not see Mom, Lena…You are the part of her that God has left behind for us…" She looked into her sisters' dark eyes that were their mothers and smiled softly nodding towards the tiny bundle of white in Sophia's arms, "Just as your Irina is for you."

"And you." Lena cried with a hiccupping sob, "You are a part of Mama's heart for me, Nee-Nee."

Sydney's face contorted into a sob with a smile, pulling Lena into her arms, "You think that's why Mom's heart was so big? So that she could give us each a piece?" she asked with a smile still crying and Lena only cried harder. "Please come home with us to Los Angeles-"

"I can't…I can't go there…I can't be here…it hurts too much waiting for her to come home and knowing she never will…I can't be here or there." Lena cried shaking her head back and forth slowly looking back over the garden.

"Then where are you going to go?" Sydney asked pushing Lena's hair over her ear and then its long length over her shoulder while trying to stop crying.

"I'm going to Nara…I want answers." Lena wiped at her face sniffling and speaking with anger and determination.

"Answers to what?" Sydney's brows furrowed slightly with concern and confusion.

"Sensei told me…when Mama took me to Japan after they died," Lena cried thinking about her Antony's, "That Mama had a destiny to fulfill, and that she couldn't do that if I didn't move forward in fulfilling mine. He told me that I would have another baby, Nee-Nee…a daughter who had her own great destiny he said that wouldn't be fulfilled either if I gave up." She sniffled and then sob inside again while Sydney's eyes flashed between wide and surprised to pain and then concern as she listened.

"So what answers do you think he's going to be able to give you?" Sydney asked in a whisper wiping at Lena's tears and forgetting about her own.

"I want to know if he knew this was going to happen. I want to know if he knew Mama was going to die for me…and if he did, why didn't he say anything…warn us, warn Mama?" She threw out angrily with her tears raging on finding her anger in her despair and concentrating on it.

Sydney gasped with head turning away and tears flooding her eyes, "The prophecy…" she breathed out in a disbelieving whisper and cried as Conrad's words washed through her speaking of Rambaldi's Prophecy of _The Chosen One's_ destiny…something they thought they had thwarted and hadn't thought about in decades.

"What?" Lena gasped rapidly turning her head to her sister with wide tear-filled eyes. "The prophecy?" She repeated with a question in her voice and then her own mind snapped the pieces into place having just re-watched the films of her mother's life, the monk Conrad's voice washed through her as did the images from her training with the samurai and what the man had told her about her 'destiny.'

"He told her that it was her destiny to die so that her daughter could live…" Sydney repeated softly with new flowing tears staring into Lena's eyes, "We thought he was speaking of The Prophecy Child, the one created with Sloane…but we were wrong…he was speaking of you." She held back a sob with a displaced smile of pain and torture, "_To give her life by the Seppuku…to commit suicide by piercing herself in the heart_," She inhaled a deep tortured breath grabbing at her head feeling her world spinning out of control again with this last piece of the puzzle clicking into place as the images of her mother essentially committing suicide by stepping in front of a bullet that killed her by piercing her heart.

_"Oh god…" Lena cried_**_  
_**


	75. Chapter 75

_**AN: NOTE that I have posted TWO chapters right in a row. Some of you miss chapters when I do this at times so please, note the chapter numbers and don't skip the last chapter before this one!**_

**Again, I can't stress enough... you ****WANT**** this music when you read. It just adds so much more to the story. To me, this story without music is like watching a film without any sound. - Wild**

_**Music for this chapter (on repeat): **_**_To Where You Are_ by Josh Groban, ****_The Way of The Sword by_ Hans Zimmer,_ Prayer_ Lizzie West, _You've Got the Love _by The Source ft. Candi Stanton, _Gladiator (Techno Remix)by_ Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard, _Myth, Power and Beauty_ by Nick Glennie-Smith, _The Final Charge_ by Hans Zimmer, _Escape (Mt. Eden edit)_ by Craig Armstrong, _PM's Love Theme_ by Craig Armstrong, _Only Time_ by Enya, _Somewhere In Time by _John Barry, _Adieu Romeo & Juliet (Farewell Love Theme)_ by Nino Rota, _Bittersweet Symphony_ by The Verve, _I Will Always Return_ by Bryan Adams.**

* * *

SEVENTY-FIVE

o

**_*To Where You Are*_**

_Pasadena, California_

Jack had dinner with his children when they arrived and when they all left him that night he found himself sitting on the porch swing and running his hand over the smooth wood where Irina normally sat beside him. He hadn't cried since the funeral so emotionally exhausted and felt the tears returning to him as her face flashed before his eyes in all the times they'd spent together on this swing.

The first night they'd moved into the house, feeling Sydney kicking inside of her when she was pregnant, and the twins. Rocking with Ria when she was colicky and had finally fallen asleep like an angel against them. He couldn't stop the smile through his sad snort of laughter remember Lena suddenly appearing before them hanging from the porch of the roof with wide eyes sneaking out in a time that wasn't funny then, but funny now when he thought of how long ago that seemed now. He could still smell Irina's perfume lingering in his nose, feel the delicate skin of her neck against his lips seeing himself nuzzling down into the crook of her shoulder and hear her soft laughter.

This house held so many memories for him in his life with and without her and he couldn't bare the thought of spending another twenty years without her again.

"I need you…" He whispered into the darkness, "I can't do this again without you."

_'You can,'_ she answered in the stillness and beat of his heart, _'They need you, Jack.' _

"I want to be with you," He wiped at the corner of his eye where the tears were threatening to fall and the bench swayed slightly when he pushed off with his toes.

_'You will be and until then…I'm here…just a breath away,'_ She answered and he swore he felt her warm breath against his ear when he closed his eyes.

"I love you…" he kept his eyes closed seeing her face before him and wanting to reach out and hold her.

_'And I love you…never forget that.'_ She smiled softly at him and he felt his heart flutter.

"Never again…" He shook his head with new tears thinking about how he could ever have doubted she loved him before, "Am I the only one you're talking to? The only one that hears you?" He asked after a minute wiping his tears wondering if she'd been speaking with their children as well.

_'No…I've spoken with our children but Lena has stopped listening…she's shutting me out.'_ Her voice sounded disheartened and Jack swallowed hard.

"Why?" He asked quietly with his hand lying over his heart.

_'For the same reason I stopped listening to my mother when she was trying to speak to me…I didn't think I deserved to hear what she was saying and it hurt too much.'_

"Why would Lena think she didn't deserve to hear you?" Jack sniffled feeling his chest tighten with concern for his daughter.

_'She blames herself for my death…'_

"She needs you."

_'I'm with her…and she knows it…she just won't 'see' me or hear me.' _

"She's stubborn like you." He laughed softly through his tears having heard her exasperation in her voice and sigh. "I'll try and talk to her." He sobered with a soft sigh, "I love you, My Love…and I miss you terribly."

_'I love you too…forever and always.' _

* * *

_St. Petersburg, Russia – Alexander Palace_

"You're just going to leave?" Arman asked with a heavy heart shifting the baby in his arms as she started to fuss with hunger.

"I'll come back." Lena looked at him helplessly and saw the fear in his eyes, "I'm not leaving you…I just need to get a way for a little while…alone… to clear my head."

"To where? Where are you going?" He asked with his own thick tears handing her the baby who was crying out right now and Lena sat on the edge of their bed to nurse her and calm her down.

**_*The Way of The Sword*_**

"To Japan." Lena answered softly helping her daughter to latch on when she began to snort in frustration.

"Japan…" Arman repeated feeling the weight of the world crushing down on him remembering the last time Lena had gone to Japan to grieve she was gone for months. He sat heavily down beside her on the bed scrubbing his hands over his face, "And you're going to take her with you?"

As much as it pained him to let them both go, he desperately wanted Lena to have time to bond with their baby which she hadn't really had the chance to do since their worlds came crashing down. She fed her and changed her and took care of all her necessary needs but never once had he seen his wife just holding her to hold her, snuggle or cuddle her, stare into her tiny eyes or look at all her little features. Lena's face was almost completely lost in her own world when she wasn't crying and it scared him to see her withdrawing so much.

"I have to…" Lena swallowed hard with a slight shrug looking down at the baby nursing in her arms and his heart sank a little more, knowing she was saying that strictly out of nutritional necessity for the baby and not because Lena was thinking of anything more in her own depression.

* * *

_Nara, Japan_

Lena stood in the doorway of the darkened room of the mountain top monastery looking at her sensei, whom was a tiny frail man of one hundred and two. The baby was swaddled in blankets and in the crook of her arm as she stared at the man before her and tears welled in her eyes.

"The Light Warrior…I've been expecting you." He spoke with a calming voice puffing on his long pipe.

"Did you know this was going to happen? Did you know my mother was going to die saving my life?" Lena asked with a choked voice.

"Your mother fulfilled her destiny." He spoke quietly and Lena immediately dropped to her knees with a strangled cry of pain and rage.

"You knew and you never said anything! Why didn't you warn us or her at least this was going to happen?" She cried and the baby in her arms began to cry as well, scared from her mother's wails.

"Your mother was told of her destiny many years ago…that she would have to give her life so that her daughter would live. She knew this and accepted this." He continued to speak softly with eyes going to the crying baby in her arms. "Now you will be able to fulfill your destiny, and your daughter will fulfill hers' as well."

He watched them carefully for a moment and the interaction between the two, the way the baby was screaming for her mother's attention and how Lena reacted to her with barely any emotion not really hearing her cries in what she was trying to say.

"Your mother fulfilled all the things the stars had written for her life and it was time for her to move on," He set his pipe aside.

"She promised she'd never leave me," Lena sobbed trying to get her baby to stop crying with a pacifier but Irina wouldn't have it.

"And she kept her promise." Sensei answered in an almost scolding tone catching her eyes, "You're just refusing to see what's right in front of you. You're closing your eyes in the darkness not wanting to see the light that will guide you from it." He paused shaking his head softly to see the wailing baby turning red and staring up at her mother who only continued to stare at him, "She's trying to help you and you're refusing to hear her."

"What are you talking about, Sensei? I don't understand…" Lena cried shaking her head with a sob as she was emotionally drained.

"Why is it that you won't look into her eyes when she cries for you?" He asked nodding towards the baby and Lena's eyes snapped to the baby screaming in her arms glancing over her and then quickly away. "Its because you know whose reflection you'll see staring back at you, isn't it?" He paused, "Why do you think she cries so much?" He asked when she didn't answer.

"I don't know." Lena sobbed with head hung in shame and feeling like a failure as a mother already.

"You do know, you just won't listen…you're holding your mother's heart in your hands and yet, you do not hear it." He spoke softly nodding at the baby and watched Lena's eyes flash up to him then the baby and away again before sobbing. "Look into her eyes, Lena." He commanded softly, "Listen to what she's trying to tell you."

Lena cried slowly turning her head to look at her baby in her hands, her little head red from crying and hands balled into tiny fists by her head, Lena stare at her face for the first time for more then a few seconds and cried harder when their eyes met and held. Her tiny little gaze wasn't supposed to be able to see anything but light and shadows so new to the world but Lena knew she saw her, felt like she could see right through her and into her soul and after a moment Irina's cries tapered off as the two remained staring at each other and gradually Lena's did too after Irina was completely still, wide awake and just staring at her.

_'I'm right here…and I need you, too.'_ Her mother's voice rang through her heart in an instant like a loud gong stealing her breath.

"An endless chain never to be broken," Sensei spoke quietly and startled Lena when she realized he was now right beside her down at the baby in her hands whose eyes were firmly held on Lena's. "Your light out of the darkness," He nodded towards the baby softly, "Can you see it now?" He asked with a gentle hand on her arm, skin almost as soft in his very old age as the newborn in her hands.

Lena sniffled and nodded slightly trying to hold back a sob while he continued to speak and she went back to staring into her daughter's eyes.

"The daughter becomes the mother. She is your light as you were once hers. Your life prior to this moment has prepared you for what is to come…just as your mother's life prepared her for the rest of the destiny she needed to fulfill…now it is your time to shine, Lena…you are the light that will lead your people forward and towards a greater destiny."

"But why did she have to die?" Lena cried softly with hand gently cupping her baby's head and thumb gently caressing her downy hair.

"We all have to die at some point. Without death, we cannot be reborn with another chance to live again." He smiled at her softly with eyes shifting to the baby. "Death is not the end, is just another beginning. Your mother was a woman of great honor…she fulfilled the destiny she was fated to in this last life and she will fulfill another in this continuous cycle." His gentle eyes locked with Lena's, "You must move forward towards fulfilling your own. It will not be easy but you will never be alone…she's always with you."

Lena looked back at the baby holding her dark imploring eyes for a moment before flashing back to where sensei had been to find herself alone with Irina in the dark room. She swallowed hard looking back at her baby and lifted her gently to kiss her forehead while tears fell down her face. She rested her forehead against Irina's teeny tiny little one and then scooped her up against her chest, heart to heart walked to her room, lying on her bed with her awake but still baby against her chest and closed her eyes to listen.

_'I love you to the moon and back,'_ Lena thought with concentration on her heartbeat and the tiny ball of warmth against her chest.

_'More than the stars in the Heavens,'_ She heard her mother's voice respond and Lena inhaled a sob with eyes remaining close and hand palming her daughter's back gently.

"And grains of sand on earth…I love you." Lena responded softly with pounding heart.

_'Forever and always.'_ She heard her voice again. _'I'm always with you…I'll never leave you.'_

"I need you…" Lena cried softly and kissed the top of her baby's head holding her tiny hand with her fingers and caressing the back with small circles from her fingertip.

_'I'm here…we'll get through this together.' _

* * *

Lena spent two weeks at the monastery channeling the unimaginable devastating grief into love in getting to know her baby, memorizing all her perfect details, inspecting her over and over. Learning her cries and noises and feeling the energy she emitted with every tiny heartbeat thundering against her own. Before, Irina had seemed to cry all the time and by the end of the first week, Lena had noticed that she hardly cried at all now…she had gotten her mother's attention, and that was seemingly all she wanted, was to be heard. Her baby became the balm to her soul and soon, hardly put her down unless she had to. She knew from prior experience that whether you wanted it to or not, life went on and hers' would to… she didn't have the option to stand still when others needed her…she had to trudge forward through her grief one step at a time.

**_*Prayer*_**

When she arrived home her family had already returned from Los Angeles and after reuniting with Arman, hugging and kissing him, holding him tightly she saw the relief flash through his eyes.

"I told you I'd come back." Lena smiled softly at him through her tears palming his cheek with one hand and holding Irina in the other. "I love you, Sailor." She leaned up with noses brushing.

"I love you, Space Critter." He smiled through his own tears seeing the change in her eyes and especially the way she held and looked at their baby. Something had definitely changed. They kissed and when they pulled back he tucked the hair behind her ear, "What happened while you were there?" He asked softly wondering what brought the change.

"I looked into her eyes," She looked down to the baby asleep and so peaceful swaddled in the blankets in her arms, "And knew everything would be okay…"

When they finished talking she felt tired and told him she was off to take a nap and walked to her parents room and set eyes upon it for the first time since her mother died. She cried softly readjusting the baby on her chest as she sat carefully down on her mothers side of the bed and then laid down with Irina lying on her chest with tiny ear over her heartbeat falling asleep the steady beating drum she recognized and was comforted by.

The pillows Lena was lying back against still held traces of her mother's scent and she inhaled deeply with eyes closed seeing the flash of them just days before her death when they'd fallen asleep together in this same spot, with her head on her mother's chest the way Irina's was on hers' now.

Jack walked in quietly and stopped suddenly seeing Lena in Irina's spot and sucked in a sharp breath, blinking hard for a moment again at believing he was seeing her mother when he looked at his daughter who looked so much like her. He smiled softly at her seeing the baby on her chest and saw flashes of Irina lying with Lena as a baby on her chest in the same way. Now the roles had changed with Irina sleeping on Lena's chest falling asleep to the beat of her heart.

"I'm sorry, Daddy I didn't know you were home from town and just wanted to lay down a few minutes-" She started to get up with tears rolling from her eyes and Jack waived her back down.

"Its all right, you don't have to explain." He smiled at her softly walking towards the bed, "I was just coming to do the same…Would you mind if I lie with the two of you, Peanut?" He asked noticing the change in the way she handled the baby, not more gently but more intimately and he felt his heart smile.

"Yes, of course Daddy…It's your bed." She sniffled with a soft smile and he lay down his exhausted body on the massive Imperial bed.

"She seems much more calm now," He feathered his fingers with a smile over Irina's tiny head reaching across the space that separated them on his fishing expedition.

"Yes," Lena nodded softly with lips gently brushing against the top of her baby's head, "I wasn't paying attention before…" she spoke quietly with gaze staring off in a daze.

"So she got through to you, then?" He smiled at her eyes flashing slightly with surprise, "She told me you weren't listening to her. You should have heard the exasperation in her tone." He laughed softly through new tears and Lena gasped softly.

"You can hear her, too? She told you that?" Lena asked in barely a whisper with hand palming gently over her baby's back.

"Yes…she said you weren't '_seeing her,_" He paused with eyes softly going to the gorgeous baby asleep so peacefully, "Or hearing her because you felt guilty over her death." He swallowed hard, "She understood…because she did the same after her own mother's death in refusing to listen to her."

"But Babushka's death wasn't Mama's fault," Lena shook her head softly, "The KGB were responsible…not Mama."

"And you weren't responsible either for your mother's death." Jack spoke quietly with a sigh, "It was just meant to be…I hate it…but it was meant to be." He stared at the ceiling with tears running from his eyes into the pillow.

"Hey," Sydney appeared with Nadia and Elektra in the doorway both looking a bit surprised to see Lena with the baby lying there as well and smiled, "We just thought we'd come take a nap with you if that's okay?" Neither of them said it, but they felt closer to their mother when they were in her room, lying on her bed as they all used to do.

Jack smiled through his tears thinking 'more of you for me to love' when he looked at his daughters and granddaughter and how when they were all together and near him he felt even closer to Irina. He patted the bed and the three quickly crawled up with Lena scooting towards the middle with Elektra beside her wanting to be close to the baby and Nadia spooned behind her and then Jack with Sydney on the other side of him.

They were barely settled when Anya arrived with Eva and Lara and just behind them, Ria and Isolde. Their own babies were already down and sleeping in their nurseries and all had tears in their eyes in missing Irina and wanting to be close to her, and together. They didn't need to ask or say anything with Jack waving them in and everyone scooted again a little more to make room. Sydney's girls filed into spoon formation behind her on the bed while Ria and Isolde filed in behind Nadia surrounding Jack and Lena who had baby Irina sleeping on her chest.

"I miss Babushka," Elektra's little voice broke the silence with a quiver and teary eyes, having slept with her babushka many times in this bed and this being the first time without her here to snuggle with.

"We miss her too, Baby." Nadia kissed her little ear snuggled up behind her with new tears of her own. "But she's still with you…there's a piece of her heart right here." She placed her palm over Elektra's chest and large beating heart of her own, a Dominate Trait now passed down to all of Irina's grandchildren.

"There's a piece of Babushka's heart in me?" Elektra asked with wide eyes feeling her chest.

"Yes, Wiggle Bug. There is a piece of Babushka's heart in all of you." Jack smiled softly at her.

"In all of us?" Elektra looked around with wide eyes at all the people in the bed with them.

"Yes." Jack nodded with a teary-smile at the thought and feeling Irina's love thundering around him surrounded by all the pieces of her heart.

"Babushka's heart must have been _'really'_ big."

They all laughed softly at her innocence.

"Yes, Sweetheart…it was." Jack smiled over at her, staring into her big brown eyes.

* * *

**_*You've Got the Love*_**

Time marched on and a month before the Olympics, Lara told them all quietly one morning at breakfast when asked if she was getting nervous for the games, that she was no longer going to run. She was withdrawing she told them through teary sobs leaving them all stunned.

"Why?" Sydney reached over clasping her daughter's hand with tears in her eyes.

"I can't do it without Babushka…she was my coach…she taught me to run, I can't do it without her now." Lara started sobbing and Sydney left her chair immediately to hold her daughter tightly.

"Oh Sweetheart, you have to run…you were born to run just like Babushka…just like Lena," She smiled over at her sister who was looking at them through tear-filled eyes of her own.

"I don't want to do it alone." Lara shook her head hiccupping and sniffling tired of running alone now and missing the smile and laughter of her running buddy, her Babushka.

"You won't be alone…I'll be right there waiting for you at the end." Sydney tried to wipe her child's tears away.

"And so will I." Lena added softy surprising everyone and she smiled softly as her tears fell looking at Lara, "As soon as I'm cleared to run again…I'll run with you." She nodded and the whole table cried silently watching her step up and fill Irina's shoes in another aspect, one not so monumental to the outside world as her becoming the next Tsar but monumental for her family. She was the light that would lead them out of this dark storm of despair.

One week later, Lena had been cleared five weeks after giving birth to resume her workouts and took a deep breath in her running clothes in the early twilight of morning as she raised her fist and knocked softly on Lara's door.

"Are you ready?" Lena asked with a soft smile and forcing back the tears when Lara answered wearing the same expression. Lara nodded and the two set off into the darkness, running on a path Lena knew blindfolded having ran it so many times in her life with her mother showing her the way. She was wearing black and Lara in red and Sydney cried watching them go from her balcony feeling Vaughn's arms wrap around her from behind.

"Black and red," Vaughn whispered against her ear, "Looks like you and your mother down there." He smiled softly with new tears and heart aching as he too, greatly missed Irina and couldn't help but see her more everyday in Lena.

They ran together every morning or evening alternating workouts at the opposite times and everyone else helping out and each other when they could all finding their new purpose and first test were these Olympics, hosting them for the first time without Irina's leadership and getting Lara through them without her guidance.

"It's almost eerie at times, Mom," Lara smiled over at her mother while packing her back getting ready to go to the Olympic Village a little less then a month later.

"What's almost eerie?" Sydney asked handing her youngest the folded clothes she was stuffing into her Olympic gym bag.

"How running with Aunt Lena…working out with her…just sometimes, I look over and I think I'm seeing Babushka…or hear her laugh or smile," She shook her head with tears in her eyes and smile, "Or the way they both know exactly how to egg me on and push me further then I think I can go."

Sydney smiled widely with a tightlipped grin wiping at her falling tears looking up at her beautiful daughter.

"Lena says I need to do this…I need to run and remember Babushka and the happiness and fun we used to have together running." Lara wiped at her eyes zipping her bag closed.

"She's right. You can do this…and I have no doubt in my mind that your Babushka will be running right beside you as she always has." Sydney smiled at her cupping her cheek and then kissing it before hugging her tightly.

"Mom," Lara sniffled when she stepped back with a smile wiping at her eyes, "Will you stay with me in the village?"

"Of course, I will." Sydney smiled with new tears at another tradition continuing. "I love you to the moon and back..."

"More than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth," Lara smiled widely.

"Forever and always…I love you." Sydney finished with brimming tears at yet something else that had been engrained into her children's very being just as it had in hers and all starting with her mother.

These were the small but large things that let her know, her mother was truly living on in all of them; her love would see them through and she would forever and always be with them. Just as she always promised.

* * *

**_*Gladiator Techno remix of (Now We Are Free)*_**

_St. Petersburg, Russia - Summer Olympics_

They all waited anxiously in the packed stadium for the last torch barer to bring in the flame that would begin the games. The Imperial Family was dressed in their Imperial Regalia for the first time since Irina's funeral two months ago tonight' celebration of the Opening Games officially marking the end of the time in mourning for the nation.

"Here she comes," Sydney gasped through her tears from the platform the entire Imperial Family was once again perched upon and cried with cheers along with the thunderous roar of everyone else when Lara came running into the stadium with the Olympic torch in hand.

Her image was immediately broadcast up onto a series of massive screens surrounding the top of the stadium walls showing her running profile to all and they all gasped with new tears and smiles when the alternating screens suddenly flashed to old footage of Lena at the same age running in the same profile shot at the Moscow Olympics, and then everyone burst into tears when the screens shifted again and the footage of Irina at about the same age running in the Soviet Nationals lit up the screens in the same profile shot. The final image in the sequence was of all three of them running in the _Marathon for All Mankind_ last year and finishing together, stride for stride with matching smiles. Three generations running together around the stadium on the massive screens with their exact same strides in sync with each other and causing everyone to sob especially Lara who was running with blinding tears.

_'I'm right here…right beside you.'_ She heard her Babushka's voice thunder threw her pounding heart and ran on with head held high.

"You're not alone, Baby Girl," Sydney cried with tears of happiness having been the one to plan this part as a tribute to her mother and family and a perfect ending to show that they would all go forward, they would all succeed and celebrate the brilliance she brought to the world.

Lena met Lara on the lower platform and took over her mother's duties, she kissed Lara's forehead with a confident tear-filled smile and took the golden bow and flaming arrow, aiming into the stars she pulled back and let go…send the arrow soaring through the night sky and into the caldron illuminating the darkness with a burst of light and everyone roared with cheers.

When Lena replaced the bow the cameras were still on her and with a smile and nod, tears streaming down her face, she reached up and released the black band around her upper arm to officially end the period of mourning and everyone in her family and the Russian team followed her lead by releasing the black bands of mourning from their own arms. The sky burst into booming fireworks of color and Irina's image was shown one last time in tribute on the massive screens.

Days later, Lara flew around the track and into the arms of her mother and then Lena after winning the Gold in the 1500m and continuing the legacy of her family with a raging smile. Standing on the podium and kissing her Gold medal with tears in her eyes, she felt Irina right there with her.

* * *

_****__*Myth, Power and Beauty*_

_September 2028_

"Have any of you seen Lena?' Arman asked popping his head into the living room the night before the Coronation with his stomach tied in knots with nervousness. He'd just put the baby down to sleep after Lena finished nursing her and now he couldn't find his wife anywhere.

Everyone else shared quick worrisome glances that she would suddenly disappear without telling anyone.

"Is she out running? Clearing her mind for tomorrow maybe?" Bella asked bouncing her great-granddaughter Iribella on her lap.

"Her running shoes are still upstairs," Arman smiled at her softly, "First thing I checked." He added knowing his wife well enough to know that was the first place to look if she disappeared.

"I saw her not that long ago," Jaxx offered, "She looked really stressed out and anxious so I didn't ask where she was going when she told me she'd be back in a while." He looked at Arman apologetically.

Jack sighed heavily scrubbing his hand over his face, "I know where she is…I'll go get her." He stood with all eyes on him.

"Where is she?" Arman asked quietly worried for his wife knowing how upset and stressed she had been and it was escalating the closer the Coronation day came.

"I don't know for certain…but I'm guessing she went to see her mother." Jack answered and a soft gasp went around the room with tears flooding their eyes instantly. "Irina did the same the night before her Coronation." He clasped Arman's shoulder in support, "I'll go talk to her." He spoke quietly feeling it in his heart he was supposed to go.

When he walked into the cathedral he instantly saw Lena kneeling at the base of her mothers' tomb, her arms were folded over her head and her face was buried into them with forehead resting against the cool marble stone. She was in almost the exact same position Irina had been in twenty-five years before when he found her like this, just one tomb over to the right.

Lena's eyes flashed up to his brimming with tears and burning red when he kneeled down beside her.

"Hi," He smiled softly at her finger her hair behind her ear. "I had a feeling you'd be here." He shook his head with smile grow with welling tears staring at her, "You're so much like your mother, even in this."

"What do you mean?" Lena sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

"That she was nervous about becoming the Tsar of Imperial Russia and came here," He looked around at the massive structure and then to Anastasia's tomb just behind Lena, "To speak to her mother about her worries…afraid she wasn't going to be a good Tsar."

Lena shook her head at how preposterous that sounded, as her mother was amazing in her role.

"Mama was the best…I have no idea what I'm doing, Daddy…she was supposed to be here to show me…I don't want to fail them…fail her." She cried.

"You do know what you're doing…you've been doing it these last few months in taking over things and keeping them running smoothly…in conducting the Games and leading Lara and the nation through it…you became the Tsar the moment your mother died," He cried softly reaching of her hand, "All eyes turned to you because you're the light everyone needs to lead them through their sorrow…to show them it will be okay and you've been doing that."

"I haven't really done anything…just implemented things Mama already had going and kept them going from what I learned from her about them." Lena shook her head softly looking down and fingering the hair over her other ear. "That wasn't difficult."

"It wasn't difficult for you…because you were born to do this. You've been taught by the best teacher there is in how to do this job and do it well." Jack tilted her chin up with his fingers. "She's been teaching you your whole life preparing you for this, Lena. She believed you could do it now…she kept telling me that night we talked about her stepping down that _she felt it in her heart that you were ready and it was your time to take over_." He smiled at her softly with pained tears and reached into his pocket removing a small stack of pictures and handing them to her.

The first was of Lena as a baby asleep against Irina's chest while Irina sat behind her desk in the Kremlin on the phone conducting business, the second was of Lena about a year and a half old with crayon in hand and color wildly while Irina read over documents, the next was of Irina reading more documents with Lena asleep at her feet under the giant Imperial desk clutching Mr. Yellow Bear, the next was of Irina in the Oval Office with President Bush and the first lady playing Go-Fish with Lena, another had her onboard Imperial One asleep on the sofa with her head in Irina's lap after returning from some foreign trip, another was of her playing with children in Somalia having accompanied her mother on another trip, the pictures were all the same in that they were a photographic documentary of how Lena had one way or another been preparing for this role under Irina's guidance all her life.

The last picture in the series was of Lena and Irina sitting side by side at the Press Conference with Irina announcing that morning she was going to be stepping down and Lena taking over.

"You're ready," Jack spoke quietly while Lena stared at the first and last photographs with streaming tears in silence. "You're ready." He resounded and pulled her into his arms, kissing her head while she cried and he closed his eyes sitting together at the end of Irina's tomb.

* * *

**_*The Way of the Sword*_**

Lena hadn't been able to sleep at all that night and got out of bed before the sun rose, throwing on her running clothes needing to burn off some adrenaline and try to sort through all that was running through her mind. Arman was sleeping soundly in the bed and she paused hovering over him with a teary smile, dropping a kiss to the space before his temple and whispering, "I love you," before making her way to her baby and doing the same. She would be back before Irina woke up hungry and wanting to be fed and took one last look at her with tears starting to fall, kissing her little cheek and feathering her tiny dark Mohawk before leaving the room quietly.

She quietly made her way down the stairs and fingered the locket her mother had given her when she was little, a locket that held both of their birthstones, baby Antony's and now, her daughter's as well.

She stretched out as she walked past the lake and towards the ruins, squatting down to brush her hand over the gravestone, kissing her fingers and whispering "I love you" to both of them before heading off past the trees.

Lena slowly moved at first, beginning with a walk as she passed through the massive grounds of the estate and thought about all that her mother had taught her over the years, the more she thought about the more tears began to fall recalling conversations, lessons and laughter as her mother had made it all fun, even when they were sparring. With the moonlight lighting the way, her speed gradually increased with the rapidness of which memories began flying back to her and she ran on with blinding tears and a mix of emotions running through the forest, in and out of the shadows as hard as she could run and finally breaking into the open field of rolling hills.

Her heart was thundering in her ears and against the walls of her chest while she pumped her arms rapidly running her heart out and racing the ghost inside her with a smile and tears that eventually came, knowing her mother was right there beside her.

_'You can do this, Sweetheart…I believe in you.'_ She heard her mothers' voice echo through her soul and Lena inhaled a sob pressing on and pushing harder. _'I'm right here with you, forever and always.' _

"I know you are." Lena finally admitted with blinding tears feeling her mother's presence all around her and in her heart, "I hear you, Mama…" She cried and then screamed as she ran with hair whipping wildly behind her letting go of the last of the rage inside her over her mother's death and being thrown into this position.

The past could not be changed and she was responsible for moving them forward in what was going to be the most difficult, trying, and rewarding time of her life. She had her own destiny to fulfill and she would keep running towards it.

* * *

**_*Escape (Mt. Eden Edit)*_**

The horse carriage pulled slowly up in front of St. Isaacs Cathedral and Lena exited under the eyes of many who were torn between this being a happy and sad occasion under the circumstances, watching her walk forward. Arman walked beside her carrying baby Irina and everyone gasped as she past with spectacular beauty in her long golden robe and white and gold dress.

Everyone else was already seated inside and her family instantly had tears in their eyes to see her walking towards them at the front of the cathedral. Jack was already seated in his throne beside the one Irina had always occupied now void of her presence and waiting for the new ruler to take her place.

Arman stepped aside with the baby and Lena stood alone, with tears welling in her eyes as they landed on the portrait of her mother before her and giving her strength and becoming her focal point in getting her through this.

The ceremony began with the priests recognizing Irina as the last Imperial Tsar and speaking of her reign and legacy and then onto the official ceremony with Lena standing before them all for the first half hour as she took several serious oaths about her commitments to God and country.

She lifted her arms straight out at her sides while they removed her golden robe and then dress, leaving her to stand before them all in only her white slip preparing her for communion in the symbolic gesture of purifying her. When she was finished her ladies in waiting redressed her in the gorgeous white and gold gown and the priest attached the blue sash and the Order of St. Andrew.

The red pillow was set before her feet and the rest of the regalia her mother once wore and had not been seen since Lena had removed it at her funeral was brought out with each remarkable piece resting on its own pillow and with their sight bringing tears to everyone's eyes seeing only 'Irina.' Lena kneeled before the priest and placed her hand on the bible reciting her oath and then removed the Order of St. Andrew.

The purple robe her mother had worn was placed around her shoulders and after came the diamond chain of the Order of St. Andrew that belonged to the 'Tsar.' After receiving the two prayers and the sign of the cross the metropolitan of St. Petersburg approached her with the crown. With tears stinging her eyes she reached out for it and took it, placing it on her head while her family cried. The scepter was placed in her right hand and the orb in her left and with that, she stood and took her seat for the first time on the Imperial Throne of Russia beside her father who was crying silently beside her with a soft smile and Jack couldn't stop thinking about how much she looked just like her mother sitting beside him.

When the priest was finished with his prayers Lena stepped forward once more handing her regalia to her attendant and summoned Arman holding their baby. He was smiling and crying with tears of pride in her when she motioned for him to kneel before her, she winked at him with a smile and took her crown off, touching it to his head just as Irina had when welcoming him into the family and then did the same to their baby Irina who was wide-awake by silent swaddled in her white satin blankets and gowns staring up at her mother with big dark eyes. Arman already wore the blue Imperial sash and Order of St. Andrew and held his daughter up so that she could receive her own tiny new one.

Lena smiled at them both picking up his crown from the pillow first and kissing before she placed it on his head and then did the same with the teeny-tiny tiara for her daughter. The baby never made a sound as if she'd gone through this experience everyday of her life and Lena kissed her head before she summoned Arman to stand before her.

**_*PM's Love Theme*_**

When the first notes of the song rang through the cathedral everyone was sobbing through their smiles to hear it being played for their new Tsar and cheered thunderously while Lena was handed her regalia back and went to sit back on the throne beside her father with Arman sitting on the other side holding Irina II.

Lena's eyes flashed over her family's who were all standing and applauding in their own beautiful Imperial dress and crying for her feeling for the first time looking at her, that everything truly would be all right. She was glowing with a radiant smile from ear to ear and a true representation of 'the light'…the light of a new day who would break through the dark clouds and take them forward into history.

She smiled accepting her husband's arm when they walked down the center aisle of the cathedral with her father holding baby Irina coming just behind them and then the rest of the family before they all loaded into the coaches heading towards Peterhof for the celebration.

"You look amazing, Your Majesty." Arman kissed her hand with tears in his eyes after helping her into her coach and addressing her as such for the first time had her inhale with a sharp laugh and simultaneous cry leaning over to his lips and then took her baby from her father. Arman mounted his own white steed as a member of Her Majesty's Life-Guards and nodded at Jack with a smile before leading the way.

**_*Only Time*_**

Lena was still wearing her gorgeous gown and tiara while she rocked her baby to sleep that night in the dimly lit nursery with the fairies she was once mesmerized by circling the ceiling in a light parade, she'd recited _Good Night Moon_ holding her daughter's rapt attention while she nursed her and then sang her to sleep with _The_ _Russian Lullaby_ while Jack watched quietly from the doorway with a smile and tears that they were going to be okay.

Lena was already the amazing mother her own mother had been to her and watching her with the baby now brought back a flood of memories for Jack. Without interrupting them, he began to close the door and smiled when he heard Lena whisper, "Alright My Little Moonbeam, its time for bed."

He paused while she put the sleeping baby down and began to recite, "I love you to the moon and back, more than the stars in the Heavens and grains of sand on Earth, I love you…forever and always, Irina…I love you, My Little Love." He saw the smile on her face and the tears in her eyes as she bent over and kissed her baby gently and he smiled in turn, walking away from the door still wearing the smile and feeling the tears in his eyes.

The next few weeks flew by in flash with Lena jumping straight into the deep end of the pool and taking over flawlessly with Arman by her side. Their new motto was _Carpe Diem, '_seize the day,' and every moment she wasn't working, she was spending him and their baby and family trying to live by the legacy her mother had set down before her: _Strength, dignity and laughter_…and gradually the laughter had come back and sharing their favorite funny memories of Irina had become a nightly occurrence during dinner to make them all laugh.

Her very first act as Tsar after the coronation came two days later, when she went to the psychiatric hospital to see her mother's assassin, the man who had been trying to kill her, and though she desperately wanted him to die for taking her mother away, she also found herself sympathizing with his situation. She listened to her heart and responded with her mothers' wishes, knowing it was the right thing to do and pardoned him of his Death Sentence giving him his absolution standing face to face with him, her mother's killer.

He would get to spend the remainder of his life in a nice psychiatric prison facility where his family could come and go as they pleased and his wife could stay there with him but where he'd be monitored around the clock for his disease.

Sydney had decided it was time to fulfill a dream she set out to do long ago now that her last child was graduated and in college, she too went back to college, as an English Literature Professor at St. Petersburg University. It was a position that the Academic Dean and friend of her mother's had tried to get Irina to accept for years before she became Tsar and was now, equally thrilled to have Sydney onboard.

One of the first things Lena had done as Tsar was to ask her big brother Julian to take over as the family's philanthropist, helping her donate funds around the world and Russia in the same ways their mother always had. He was stunned and nervous at first clearly remembering his biological father doing the same for Irina and it turned out badly but everything was different now and Lena trusted him explicitly and he'd do anything for his little sister. In accepting his new position, he passed on the business side of the family matters to his own younger brother, Nicholas.

Nadia continued with her extensive research and excavation of ancient ruins, finding another new promising secret in the depths of the ocean floor when she found a golden chalice in sifting through Cleopatra's barge that held the symbol of Rambaldi. The writing the on the magnificent was in ancient Atlantean, a society previously only believed to be a myth of 'perfect beings' that disappeared thousands of years ago and spoke of _The Chosen One_ who would bring '_peace_' and '_prosperity_' to all mankind. She revealed the night of Lena's Coronation that she was pregnant again and that they were expecting another baby…a baby conceived on the Anniversary of her own conception, May 15th…having made a baby the same morning her mother had eventually lost her life and her niece was born. Nicholas and Isabella smiled widely looking at each other and then he shook his head in laughter, breaking their own news that they too were expecting another baby, also conceived that morning. The news had everyone thrilled and crying all over again at the way things worked out in their' lives. Irina had lost her life that day but three were given to them in return.

* * *

_October 2028_

Jack walked into his empty bedroom and sat heavily on the bed. It had been a month since the Coronation and so far, his children were thriving; and though they were still overwhelmed with aching hearts of sadness in missing Irina, they had purpose and things to look forward in their lives. as happy as he was for them, his heart ached for Irina. He had nothing to look forward to in his life without her.

The truth of the matter was, Irina couldn't live without her children…and Jack couldn't live without Irina. Her children were her everything, and she was his.

He lay on their bed rolling on his side with arm stretching out to cover the empty space beside him where she was supposed to be. Her scent had disappeared long ago from there sheets after finally having to break down and wash them though it lingered in the room invading his senses and causing him to ache for her more. Nights were always the worst for him, as he couldn't fall asleep without his security blanket draped over his chest, her weight had kept him grounded and now he felt like he was spinning out of control and drifting out of his mind without her.

Most of the time he passed the long hours until he fell asleep by reading her journals of books of love sonnets and Shakespeare that had always been her favorite and tried to do so again on this night, reading the farewell sonnet in Romeo and Juliet and crying silently in missing his own 'Juliet.'

**_*Somewhere In Time*_**

"When can I come home? I'm tired…I can't do this anymore without you," He asked pulled the book into his chest in the stillness and waiting for her to answer. Home had always been wherever she was.

_'Whenever you're ready…I'll be waiting.'_ Her voice answered and he felt his heart jump madly with excitement having expecting her to tell him '_not yet'_ again and that their children needed him.

"What about our children?" He asked swallowing hard finding his mouth going drying and his chest squeezing tightly with anticipation.

_'They're okay now…they'll take care of each other…if you're ready…come find me, Jack.' _She whispered back to him and she stole his breath away with her request.

His eyes dropped shut softly and he felt his heart stop inside his chest and knew what was happening but wasn't scared. He watched his soul leaving his body below on the bed and then stepped into the darkness. He turned around several times finding it pitch black and a tiny hint of fear crept though him until he saw it, off in the distance a white light that was growing brighter until he had to shield his eyes with his arm a bit having never seen anything ever before like it.

When he dropped his arm with eyes adjusting his eyes flooded with tears and he inhaled sharply with a smile to see Irina walking towards him looking more beautiful then he'd ever seen her in his life and smiled, unable to take his eyes off of her.

"You came for me," Irina smiled standing just before him looking up into his eyes with her penetrating dark brown pools shimmering with flecks of gold.

"I'll always come for you," Jack whispered leaning in with breath against her lips, his hands reaching up to cup the side of her neck and face and cried with a smile feeling it warm beneath his touch, "I told you I'd follow you anywhere." He smiled and held her eyes when their lips first met and then closed deepening the kiss slightly and holding it, letting it linger, "I've missed you, My Love."

"As I've missed you." She smiled kissing him again softly and then turning softly in his arms and Jack followed her line of sight. Just behind them a gorgeous woman with long dark hair that Jack knew had to be her mother, Anastasia, was holding the hands of two little boys, one blonde that he knew instantly was his grandson and the other, with dark curly hair that looked just like Jaxx when he was little, his son…Jack.

"Come here, Sweetheart." Irina motioned with her fingers and a soft smile and the little boy came tearing over to her and she scooped him up before Jack who was looking at them both with tears streaming from his eyes. the gorgeous little boy wrapped his arms around her neck and smiled at Jack while she made introductions, "Jack…I'd like to introduce you to our son, Jack…Sweetheart," she smiled brushing her fingertips over his sweet little face, "This is your, Daddy."

"Hello," Jack gasped with a smile and breathless whisper looking at his son and flooding tears and inhaled sharply when his son launched from Irina's arms into his holding him fiercely. Irina was smiling madly at the two of them and nodded softly telling him it was okay and he held their son tightly kissing his head.

Little Jack pulled back with a raging smile and giggle perched in his father's strong arms and covered his eyes with his little hands, sweeping them gently over his father's face, "No more tears, Daddy…you're home." He smiled and placed a sloppy kiss on Jack's lips with a peel of laughter.

"No more tears." Jack smiled and looked over at Irina feeling his heart erupting with happiness and love and a feeling of peace he'd never felt before in his life.

"Hello Jack," Her voice caught his ear first as he looked over and saw Irina's mother standing next to him now with Antony on her hip.

"Hello Anya," He smiled when she kissed his cheek, "Thank you…for your daughter…for our second chance."

"In that life," Anya smiled widely at him and laughed softly seeing his brows knit a little, "You'll have many chances in life, Jack…You are soul-mates…you'll always find each other." She smiled over at her daughter curled into his side. "Come now…let's go home…my husband is waiting to meet you." She smiled widely with the same eyes and smile as Irina. His fingers of his free hand linked with Irina's as they walked after her mother and Antony towards the light and he couldn't stop smiling looking between his wife, son, grandson and Anastasia. "I'm finally home." He whispered again to Irina and kissed her smiling lips as they trailed behind her mother.

**_*Adieu Romeo and Juliet*_**

Sydney ascended the staircase slowly in morning with a mix of emotions flooding through her as she approached her parent's bedroom. Her father had not been down for breakfast and she volunteered to go see what was keeping him. The closer she came to the door, the more the sense of foreboding took over and her eyes pricked with tears when she slowly turned the knob.

"Dad," she called out seeing him lying on the bed with his back to her and her tears started welling furiously when he didn't responds. "Daddy…" She called out again and cried seeing one arm clutching the book to his chest and his other arm stretched out over the empty space her mother should have been in. She inhaled a sob when he still didn't move and she took in his pale color.

With trembling fingers she touched his neck and gasped feeling his already cold skin. Her hand flew to her mouth as she sat heavily on the edge of the bed beside him crying that he was gone. She sobbed while she removed the book from his hand and turned it over to see what he'd been reading as her heart cried and she gasped seeing what it was.

_"Remember not the pathos of our plight, or the tears of our too-youthful end. Mourn us not, for we became light, Eden shining still through deathless night, on all who first pure love would comprehend. Judge us not, although we chose to die, Undone by beauty such as few have known, love so perfect one could not reply in words less meteoric then its own. Each life must wend its way towards death and pain. Though we died young, our story will remain."_

"Oh, Daddy," She cried folding herself over his form and holding on while she cried.

* * *

**_*Bittersweet Symphony*_**

"You're smiling?" Vaughn asked surprised with a hint of his own tear-filled smile staring at his beautiful wife in the twilight of the setting sun of this sad day.

"Because they're together again…" Sydney's teary smile widened staring at the shades of pink and deep purple on the horizon in the most spectacular sunset they'd seen in years, "Forever…and always."

_"I could have you arrested for stalking me."_

_"I'm not stalking you."_

_"Newlyweds. Can't keep their hands off each other."_

_"Though I have passed a kidney stone once…"_

_"Not even close, asshole!"_

_"And that my friends, is why she's so deadly with a knife! …Cheer for Mommy!"_

_"Your parents are having a stripper showdown cousin!"_

_"Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph…"_

_"How can you survive that woman and not go into heart failure on a constant basis?"_

_"Oh My God! You guys did it on the kitchen table on top of my Cookie Monster painting!" _

_"Sydney knew she was leaping out to save her sanity before I threw you down and had my way with you in front of her!"_

_"What are you doing? Irina, I won't be able stop if you keep this up."_

_"Then don't. Merry Christmas."" _

_"Siberian Tiger's on the move. She's good." _

_"You have no idea…" _

_"Jack…I am not adorable! Our baby is adorable…I am many things, but never adorable! Never!" _

_"Mangoes! You're pregnant again!"_

_"You want to adopt me?"_

_"And the name of the foul shall be…Legs!"_

_"Hit me with your best shot Daddy! Fire away!"_

_"If I wasn't obsessed with her before, I am now…"_

_"She sleeps with knives under her pillow for Christ-sake, Jack! You do it!"_

_"Lena may be my second chance, but you are my saving grace…" _

_"Ok, ok…I get your point." _

_"I'll wear my Kevlar next time."_

_"Next time?" _

_"Suddenly children's toys have occupations? Whatever happened to Cookie Monster?" _

_"Who the fuck, are you? James Bond?"_

_"Oh My God… My Sharona, is right!"_

_"Jose Cuervo and I have parted ways for good."_

_"Panama Jack, wanna pass me the potatoes?"_

_"You should know better Alexei, I am too stubborn to die."_

_"Hol-ly hell! Is that-" _

_"Irina Derevko. Your shooter and Sydney's mother." _

_"Yeow! Hot Ma-ma!"_

_"The same fish packers' I've always used."_

_"Lena, Who is this?" _

_"Nee-nee."_

_"She's currently possessed by some demon."_

_"So what are we calling them until their born? Girl twin and boy twin? Twin A and Twin B? American and Russian? Yank and the Russkie? Cowboy and Cossack?"_

_"Dear God…they're Fem-bots!"_

_"Holy sssshit…I've died and gone to heaven, Syd, Sophia and Irrrrina all wet…and going wild in front of me…" _

_"Yes, sir in labor. Director Kendall said she was 'leaking,' …I assume that means her water broke." _

_"Ah, ah, what'chya doing there?" _

_"I guess they're worried I will try escaping by offing three thousand sailors and commandeering this ship." _

_"Wow…she can cook too? She really is impressive." _

_"Do to Jack Bristow's intimate knowledge of the fugitive in question…"_

_"Of course I remember almost dying…but she didn't actually shoot me remember? It was the screwdriver." _

_"Derevko women never blush about that! We are women hear us roar! Be proud, be loud…that's what I always say!" _

_"I can't believe you just said that." _

_"My own mother telling me to plow over an old man with a single can of beans in his cart!"_

_"I didn't say plow over him! I said don't slow down. You're super spy, whip around him, cut in front of him…do something besides wait patiently for him to cross in front of you!" _

_"Shakespeare not your cup of tea Mr. Peterson?"_

_"Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson."_

_"I can't believe I'm on Oprah!"_

_"I've given you a gift…and all you get from me…is one."_

_"War!"_

_"Oh brother…some things never change."_

_"Impressive. It only took four of you to bring her down."_

_"Stop! I don't want to know what they're doing."_

_"Well what do you think they're doing in there?" _

_"Playing Scrabble." _

_"Lena…where is the milk?"_

_"Ma ma mama ma mama!"_

_"You are being very enigmatic, Mama."_

_"I heard Bangkok was pretty interesting as well."_

_"Irina is not normal…"_

_"That was bitchin' Your Majesty!"_

_"Are you impressed now Mr. Corey?"_

_"Apparently, there was a lot about me that annoyed you back then."_

_"Protection…and I made a vow not to kill, I never said anything about inflicting debilitating damage."_

_"Except…she didn't eat the people she killed."_

_"It was obstructing my view…I'll buy you another one tomorrow."_

_"My God, you're bossy!"_

_"You two raced shopping carts?!" _

_"I think this family needs more action and soon." _

_"This is the most bizarre and fun wedding…I've ever been to."_

_"This is Irina Derevko we're talking about; she came prepared. She shot me..."_

_"Put 'Panama Jack' away so we can leave please!" _

_"We'll bring him out to 'play' at the park again another day, I promise!" _

_"I don't know… I think she looks hot and badass!"_

_"Sweetheart, there wasn't exactly time to steal his bike and his helmet." _

_"He forgot to use gel."_

_"Now stop being an ass and drink up!" _

_"You don't know who 'The Man' is?" _

_"Be quiet Jack Bristow, or you're going to get carrot in your ear!" _

_"Like when she's looking at you with those eyes of hers, like you're doing to me now. Like a feral cat about to pounce." _

_"We convinced her you were more 'intimidating' then 'scary."_

_"This is certainly never a position I thought I would ever be in with you Michael."_

_"I'm convinced there isn't anything this women can't do and do it well."_

_"Shit! She's like Super Woman!" _

_"Mom, your shirt is on inside out."_

_"Ok Irina…another little kiss, right here." _

_"I bet they're going to go make-out in the sand." _

_"If you were anyone else…I would have shot you for that!" _

_"I'm never going to look at Santa or the innocence of Christmas again!"_

_"Mom, you have to teach me how to do that!" _

_"Seriously…that is one woman, I would not fuck with!" _

_"Irina Derevko begging me to stop tickling her…if the world only knew." _

_"Tell them we were on a mission and I died…" _

_"Irina would spit nails if she heard you say she was 'adorable.'" _

_"I am still having a hard time with the fact you're a super spy and not an English Professor." _

_"I am both Dr. Peterson." _

_"Sydney…the answer to that question lies in the category of…'stop giving me mental pictures,' along with 'how' your father actually planted the passive tracker."_

_"Would you like me to cover your eyes with my hands until it's over like I did when you were little?"_

_"Your heart sounds like our washing machine, Mommy."_

_"I'm never going to believe anyone is ever 'really' dead again unless I see them die and see their bodies, and even then it's still questionable…I need another drink."_

_"Maybe you should kiss my hand too…If I am 'the Godfather."_

_"Balance children, balance."_

_"All right Mom, prepare to eat your 'balance!"_

_"The Kinky Sex Goddess…That is my mother. Her nickname and appropriately so, I guess." _

_"Irina that was kick-ass!" _

_"1994. The Congo. Machete. Deranged Tour Guide."_

_"She's always had a way with words."_

_"Russian tease."_

_"Are you sure its not laced with Arsenic?"_

_"Buy her a Screwdriver!" _

_"She likes my boobs, Jack. Don't take it too hard."_

_"I don't blame her. I like your boobs too."_

_"Well either she changed into the gown that Sophia, Katya and my mom got for her, or she's running around this hospital naked as the day she was born." _

_"I wonder if each of them has any idea of what is going on in the opposite bathroom." _

_"Mom…you're funny!" _

_"Funny now! But at the time she creeped the shit out of me!" _

_"I think you fucked me…sober, Agent Brissss-tow." _

_"Holy shit! Did your dad just hug Sark?" _

_"You married a helluva woman Jack…best of luck to you there!" _

_"Ah Tupac, breaking cultural barriers everywhere!" _

_"Tiger we're almost a mile and a half away!" _

_"Your point?" _

_"Why are all of them missing teeth?"_

_"Well her espionage tactics were present from birth." _

_"She broke my nose and dislocated my arm."_

_"Now I know why she's so deadly with a knife."_

_"Holy Hades, Irina…Talk about Mrs. Robinson!" _

_"I told you she played a mean piano." _

_"Nice shot." _

_"I learned from the best." _

_"Yes, she's quite the teacher." _

_"They're adrenaline junkies." _

_"I promise I didn't burn the toast this time, or make you eat eggs with shells in them." _

_"Thank you but I don't know how gorgeous one can be after five hours in a grain bin. I smelled like barley…" _

_"You looked so beautiful, and your wild hair and brewery scent only enticed me more…" _

_"Marshall said you were like Bruce Lee, Rocky and Rambo all rolled into one." _

_"Lesbian lust for Professor Bristow! That's hot!" _

_"Are you ok?" _

_"Yeah…" _

_"Your heart still sounds like a washing machine." _

_"She was a spy! She's very good at escaping right under people's noses!" _

_"Its genetic obviously…the need and ability to escape… we can't fight it so we might as well applaud it."_

_"Mom…what did you do to Eric?"_

_"Easy for you to say, you've only got to deal with Babushka. I have to deal with Babushka 'and' my mom!"_

_"Nadia! You mustn't bother Mama while she's Tsar-ing!"_

_"Whatever you do, don't leave your Cookie Monster painting on the kitchen table."_

_"Someone else is living in my body! And I want it out! Now!"_

_"Oh you're one to talk 'Miss Glass Cell Smut' on the friggin' CIA's monitors!"_

_"Where is that Cerebral Clorox?"_

_"Find a happy place! Find a happy place!"_

_"I'd say Jack's found a happy place…"_

_"My husband sells airplane parts! Do you have a problem with that?"_

_"Yes. But I am recently adopted. Unlike you, I was not created by such vigorous activities between the two."_

_"Relax? Listen Buddy, until you've given birth or have a Volkswagon come out of your penis without any pain drugs don't you dare lecture me on pain…"_

_"Dear Over Sexed Parental Units,"_

_"I've given you a gift and all you get from me, is one." _

_"I would say that Panama was the most successful failure in CIA history."_

* * *

_Five Years Later... The Museum of Natural History, Washington, D.C., December 15, 2033_

**_*I Will Always Return*_**

She saw him watching her and carefully she looked over her shoulder and caught his eyes and then looked away. He walked closer and stood beside her as she stuffed her hands into her pockets looking at the gargantuan elephant's feet in front of her.

"Why are you following me?" She turned her dark eyes to look at him with a slanted brow and pursed determined lips.

"I'm not following you." He shook his head with eyebrows rising. "I just wanted to look at Ted…he's an African Bull Elephant…he's from Africa."

"I know that Ted is from Africa…" She flashed her dark eyes at him and pushed her hair over her ear, "I've seen real Teds in Africa!" She smiled at him.

"Wow... I wish I could see some real Teds." He scuffed his foot on the carpeting. "Do you live in Africa?" He asked the mysterious exotic girl. "You talk kind of funny."

"I do not talk funny!" She flashed her slanted eyebrow at him again and walked around to the other side of Ted but he followed. "No, I'm not from Africa. I'm from Russia."

"Oh…that's a big place too." His little eyes widened. "I like your Siberian Tigers."

"Me too." She smiled widely and then held her hands up like claws growling and he laughed. "You should come see our tigers. They're so pretty."

"My Daddy goes to Russia all the time on Business…he's a dip-lo-mat," he took his time pronouncing that word, "But he never says I can come too…" He looked down sadly and then eyes flashed up again, "He did take me to Panama this year though. And we stayed in a fun hotel. Have you ever been to Panama?"

"I don't remember. I go a lot of places with my Mama." She shrugged biting her lip.

"You would remember if you went to Panama. It's really hot." He nodded vigorously with a wide smile, "Do you come to the museum a lot? I come here all the time…I live in Virginia." He asked with a shy excited giggle.

"I've been here a couple of times but my Mama says that we come here every year on my Babushka's birthday and today is her birthday, to see Ted because this is where my Babushka met my Papa." She rambled and smiled brightly, "Right here in this spot!" She dashed over a few feet and jumped excitedly on a spot on the ground as if it were marked with an 'x.'

"Do you want to come to my house to play? My Mommy let me open a Christmas present last night early and I got a really neat racecar that goes really fast. Do you want to come play?" He asked shyly with a smile completely smitten with the exotic funny talking girl with the pretty dark eyes and long hair.

"I have to ask my Mama first because we are staying as gu-ests," She slowed her speech to pronounce the word correctly, "In the big white house." She smiled at him grabbing his hand. "Let's ask her!" She wheeled around to where her mother and aunt were looking at the exhibit just behind her, "Mama, can I go play with him?" She asked batting her long dark eyelashes.

"Who is _him_, Moonbeam?" Lena smiled kneeling next to her daughter and the little boy whose cheeks were turning red with embarrassment and widening eyes.

"Your name is Moonbeam?" He asked looking at her strangely with the same wide eyes of wonder. "Are you from space?" He asked with eyes narrowing.

"No," She shook her head giggling, "I told you already!" She sighed with exasperation and shifted her weight on her little long legs, "I'm from Russia! My name is not Moonbeam silly; that is my nickname! My name is Irina!"

"Ohh," He giggled shaking his head, "I have a name and a nickname too! My real name is Jonathan but only my Mama calls me that and everyone else calls me by my nickname, Jack." He smiled widely.

Lena and Sydney both gasped loudly staring at the two children in front of them and then to the elephant behind them in the lobby of the Smithsonian and then at each other with tears building of disbelief and awe. While they couldn't believe what they were seeing, the two children were getting along fabulously and Irina pulling on Lena's hand asking if she could go play at his house.

"Sweetheart, you can't go play at his house but he's more than welcome to come play with you at the White House this afternoon if he wants to," Lena finally found her astonished voice staring at the two children who were nodding vigorously they wanted to play, they didn't care where in front of her wide-teary eyes. "Let's ask his Mama if that's okay?"

"Okay!" Irina yelped jumping with excitement, "Do you want to get some coffee ice cream with me too, Jack? It's my favorite!" They bound off rapidly towards a mother looking at another exhibit in the same room, hand in hand, and leaving Lena and Sydney staring at them with mouths agape and streaming tears.

"Soul-mates." Lena whispered through her smiling cry.

Sydney's head whipped to her sister flashing the same sparkling eyes. "Forever and always."

_~ fin~_

* * *

**_AN: Thank you for taking another wild ride with me:) I hope you enjoyed the journey and reread it many times! This story is so near and dear to my heart having written it a few years ago as a tribute to my grandmother, mother and daughter who are all waiting for me on the other side. Someday, I will see them again. But not yet. Not yet!_**

**_If I haven't heard from you before, I would love to now. All the best! -Wild_**

**_PS: I'm toying with the idea of writing a sequel to this one, or at the very least snippets of their lives in the future. If there is actually enough interest. Let me know if that's something anyone is interested in._**


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